KFC Radio - Best of Clancy And The Rockets Week 4: Is Elf a Christmas Movie, Kayce's Thirst Trap, Jared's Sextape, and White Sox Dave's List

Episode Date: December 10, 2018

Last week on Clancy, Carrabis, and Kayce we found out the Jared thinks he could get a porn contract (37:30) if his sextuple leaked. Kayce debated posting a thirst trap. We breakdown the best guilty pleasure songs of all-time as well as the first songs we illegally downloaded. Clem joins for Mets Therapy (1:17:37). White Sox Dave (1:26:20) calls in and bans Kevin from ever rooting for the White Sox. All that and more. Listen to CCK everyday Mon-Fri from 1pm-3pm on SiriusXM channel 85.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Best of week four of Clancy and the Rockets. It's brought to you by Tommy John. Me and Jared are rocking our Tommy John boxers. They got into the female underwear game, so Casey's rocking a Tommy John thong. We got it all Tommy John on Clancy and the Rockets all day, every day from one to three. You can catch the best of every single week.

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20% off. Mercury is in retrograde here on CCK, which means things get weird women's brains go berserk guys don't know what they're doing how they can keep up with it mercury's spinning backwards and for some reason that means my girlfriend's gonna be a pain in the ass to me i don't know what's going on so we talk about a little bit of mercury and gatorade while we break down the eternal question can men and women just be friends casey's an idiot she thinks thinks they can be. She's a moron. Me and Jared try to convince her why she's wrong and how she needs to just admit to herself the reality of the situation. Kendrick Perkins, he's fucking crazy.

He's got a beef with Adam Levine because Adam Levine pulled some bullshit, ho shit, motherfucker, picking the wrong person on the voice. PETA, they're the only people crazier than Kendrick Perkins. PETA must be going nuts because of Mercury and retrograde. There's all sorts of phrases and animals that we can't talk about anymore. And Jared, he might be the craziest of them all, saying that his 10 video porn series

would be worth half a million dollars from Pornhub. Pornhub would cut a check for 500 grand to watch the rocket. Fuck. You got to be crazy. Let's get into it right now. It's best of Clancy and the Rockets week four. Yeah, listen, that was like I feel like it was a full moon or some shit. Maybe all you guys are starting to sync up now.

Yeah, that's it. Everyone's syncing. Like all the girls or just everyone? No, everybody. Listen, everybody's got a metaphorical cycle, and they're all syncing up. Do you guys believe in the mercury and retrograde and all that stuff? No, I think that that's just girls use that as a fucking excuse to be crazy. Listen.

Oh, my God. If I have a girlfriend, and it's fucking mercury retrograde and she's like it reminds me that it's coming she's basically just saying like hey i have this stupid fucking astrolog what's the word astrological astrological excuse to be a crazy ass bitch for the next few weeks go off wrong tell him wrong tell him you're just oh because my sign this, so my sign says that this month I can do that. No. Astrology and all that shit, that's what the fucking people who didn't understand science used to be like. Oh, yeah,

the stars in the sky, and that's what this happens when that happens. A little louder. Mercury retrograde is fake. It's fake. It's not real. You're preaching to me like I disagree with you. I don't. I didn't even know that was a thing. I had this take for so goddamn long. I'm so sick and tired of this shit. I don't, first of all, I don't believe in horosc you. I don't. I didn't even know that was a thing. I had this cake for so goddamn long. I'm so sick and tired of this shit.

First of all, I don't believe in horoscopes. That's right. That's right, Zaha. At all. I don't believe in horoscopes at all. Like, oh, if you're a Scorpio, you have to love a Libra. Whatever. That's all bullshit. However, the Mercury and retrograde thing I'd never heard of until I moved to Boston, and one of the makeup ladies at NBC Sports Boston

told me all about this retrograde thing, so I started kind of like paying a little bit of attention to it. And I was like, no, there's no way this is real. It's just an excuse for girls to do crazy shit, like you said, and then use it as an excuse. However, the last time that this- She just hit us with the Stephen A. Smith.

However, however, however, the last time Mercury was in retrograde, which I believe is right around now. And I saw somebody post it on Instagram. It was on an Instagram story, and it was like, you know why everything was cool on Saturday, and then you woke up on Sunday and your whole life had gone to shit? And I was like, Oh, shit, it did.

Yeah, it sure did. What the fuck? And they were like, it's because Mercury hit retrograde at fucking midnight. I was like, God damn, that's what happened. I'm looking at it right now. Mercury is in Gatorade from March 23 to April 15. Gatorade? July 26 to August 19 and November 17 to December 6.

I am sticking by this. There are like two-week, three-week patches out of 52 of them where your girl can just be a total dick and then talk about Mercury's positioning. So wait, so it is in retrograde right now? November 7th, yes, for about two more days. I don't believe in this kind of thing at all, but I will say. Is it because it's fucking fake?

I mean, coming from a moon truther, like I can't really take you seriously. That's science, girl. That's real. But I don't, I just, I'm just saying there, in my own personal experience, in my own personal life right now, I might be looking for an excuse, and if the Mercury's in retrograde, then that's what it is. That's all it is, excuses. That's fine.

I mean, that's, you know what that is? Instead of it just being like, you're a fucking asshole, nope, there's a planet problem. That's like religion in general, where it's just like, well, I don't know why someone just fucking died. We have to come up with a reason. God said so. Yep. Well, I have to come up with some sort of explanation why I'm being a total dickhead to my boyfriend.

Mercury looks like it's spinning backwards. Awesome. That, okay, that is, there's never an excuse for a girl to just be straight up an asshole out of nowhere. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, but I mean, you guys do all the time. You deserve it.

Well, yeah, girls are crazy. I mean, I've said this a million times. I've said this since the show started. Girls are nuts. Yeah, I mean, that's, this a million times. I've said this since the show started. Girls are nuts. Yeah, I mean, that's, it's just, you guys come up with all your excuses, and it's just like, no, I rebuke that. I refuse to allow that to just be,

you just get this free pass. What, just for saying we're crazy? Yeah. No, like, yeah, like, you guys get, here's what, here's what, this is what, this is where girls are extra crazy and really bother me. Girls, can you call in and have my back, please? No, don't call in.

Call in and have my back, please. No, no, no, no. Please. Don't line me down. Let's talk. No, I have girls like sliding in my Instagram DMs because those are open. Twitter's not. Being like, I listen to the show.

Like what Kevin said was fucking stupid. What Jared said – and I'm like, call in to the show. Call in. Please, call in because I would love to debate you with logic, which you won't be able to do because you're a girl. That's sexist. When girls are like, LOL, we're crazy. It's like they know it. You guys know it.

And so you'll have a big blow-up fight with your girlfriend, and they're being totally crazy. And in the moment, it's like, I think she's going to stab me in my sleep. And then it's all over, and you guys make up. And she's like, I was crazy that day. You're admitting it, but guess what? Here's the kicker Jared. They're going to do it again. They're not going to learn from their fucking excuse for it. And if you're a

boyfriend out there that tolerates this bullshit then break up with her. I know. Listen, first of all it's way better for a girl to admit it than not because you cannot tell me if a girl to admit it than not. Because you cannot tell me.

No, see, I used to agree with that. If a girl was acting crazy all the time and she's just like, what? What's wrong? I'm just not. I know. I legitimately might die tonight. But what's worse? What's worse?

That, where at least I can say to myself, like, I don't even think she realizes what she's doing. Versus you acknowledge it and then you keep doing it. See, but here's the problem. It's a chicken and egg situation. It's a round and round argument. Girls are crazy. I can admit that I do things or say things that are crazy. I'm not.

I know there's, like, levels. Like, I'm not going to, like, key your car crazy, but there are girls that do that. I feel like you probably would do that. I have never done that, ever, nor have I thought about it. I have never. I see Casey more as a cinder block through your windshield. Nope. I have never inflicted

physical harm and or threatened physical harm on a person or an object over something like this. Oh well good for you. We'll give you a gold star. You're not a fucking psychotic criminal. You literally just said that you thought I looked like a cinder

block through a windshield kind of girl. That was kind of hateful. That was a little more. But guys stay with crazy girls and then complain about them being crazy. Well, because this sex is good. Well, then figure it out. If you don't want crazy and you want subpar sex, then go find a

non-crazy vanilla girl. I mean, that's what I'm saying. And maybe there are a lot of girls that aren't crazy that are probably great in bed. I don't know. But vanilla girl if you i mean that's what i'm and maybe there there are a lot of girls that aren't crazy that are probably great in bed i don't know but you know if you get a crazy girl and she admits that she's crazy she's probably doing crazy things too yeah but i mean i just can't imagine ever being like yep i was being crazy and then when the when the the situation arises again being like i'm gonna do it again well that yeah i'm gonna behave the same exact fucking way even though last time i was like just laughing it up to do it again. I'm going to behave the same exact fucking way. Even though last time I was just

laughing it up. I think it depends on how crazy the person is, too. There's definitely different levels of crazy, especially with girls that use the mercury retrograde as an excuse for being crazy, but it's never a legitimate excuse. That's not true.

Casey. You're saying that guys never do anything wrong? No, I'm saying that Mercury being in retrograde is never a legitimate excuse for being a crazy ass bitch. Yes, I agree with that. If you actually believe that,

then it truly is on the guy. It's like buyer beware. If your girl really believes in Mercury's fucking location is affecting her behavior that and you choose to still ride with that then whatever happens that's on you am i missing something or is there's mercury being in retrograde specific to the female gender i think mercury is like a i have no idea i there is something about that i've legitimately never heard of it until i moved to boston I had never heard of it. Let's see.

Well, it says, we are all influenced by the effect. Due to the way our own orbit interacts with those of other planets, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. This is all just mumbo-jumbo. I don't know why it is... I don't know how we started talking about it. It's probably pinned on girls, because they are the crazy ones that need an

excuse. They're always looking to the higher power to be like, why am I like this? Oh, I know why I'm like this. It is on me. This is on me. I don't blame girls for being a little crazy. Their bodies are crazy. They gotta go through crazy shit. Preach.

The fact that it's just like, at some point, you don't have to, but at some point I'm probably or expected to carry a human inside of me. That's crazy. That is weird. That's crazy, man. I mean, if it was reversed or if it was like a coin flip, like sometimes guys did it, sometimes girls did it.

Or put it this way, if it was just all guys, the human race would go extinct. I mean, if it was. I certainly wouldn't have two. When girls go back for more. What? wouldn't have two. When girls go back for more, what? That's what I was going to say. If it was like, if a guy and a girl have sex, and there's a 50-50 chance that if the couple gets pregnant, it's on you. Yeah, like, you don't

know if it's, like, the guy or the girl that gets pregnant. Things are changing. I mean, I would never have sex. I would never have sex. Have you seen the male birth control cream? What? There's cream? It's a cream. That does what? It neutralizes your semen?

Wow. You rub it on your shoulder? Or did you just rub your shoulder? The reason I'm rubbing my shoulder is because the Twitter picture had someone rubbing lotion Oh, I was like, that's a bizarre place for that to happen. I don't know if you rub it on your dick, though. I think you just have to get it in your system. It would be funny if you were just rubbing your balls with this lotion.

Like, yeah, get rid of that sperm. But I mean, if you, if you think that I'm going to trust, like, oh, don't worry, girl, I, I rub some lotion on my sack. We're not going to get pregnant.

We're good. Oh, fucking way. You know, what's funny though, is I did read up on it. It just kills your sperm count. It's not like it's,

you know, like it's just doing like bodily harm to you and your sack. Right. Yeah. To the point that you just have like, no, you can't do it anymore. But I mean,

that's kind of like birth control to a certain degree. In a way, it's doing that. I no, you can't do it anymore. But I mean, that's kind of like birth control to a certain degree. In a way, it's doing that with chicks too. I mean, I don't give a shit. Like I'm taking that birth control. Like I don't care, but I also don't want kids.

Right. So yeah, I mean, undoubtedly like it fucks with your body and everything. But I mean, the different, so like there's the, there's the little like wishbone thing

you put inside. I'm not trusting that thing. You just threw a little piece of plastic in there and now all of a sudden we're good. The, the idea, the,

the, the, the patch that I don't understand that ain't working. A lube on the guy that ain't working unless it's a goddamn rubber bag around my penis or it's a pill that is going all up in your system. I don't trust it. Even that. Yeah.

Even that's very scary. I've humble brag. I've had plenty of condoms rip where it's like, I, but you don't, you can't tell. What? Yeah. How drunk are you? How drunk are you? I'm pretty drunk.

Yeah. I mean, there's a very distinct difference between sex with and without a condom. I can absolutely tell the difference. Well, yeah, I know that, but once you put it on and then it rips, it's hard to tell after the fact. That is. And that's, Casey, what the fuck? Do you just disagree with me on everything? Do you have a fucking dick you want to tell me about?

She probably feels the reverse of it. How do you know it feels like to have sex with or without a condom with a dick? You don't have a dick. But it probably feels different for her. Yeah, but that doesn't that's not the same thing. You know that you have to have sex

with somebody else in order to have like, have this argument, right? Like, you actually, you're not having sex with yourself, like, oh, my God, the condom ripped. Like, somebody else is in the equation that can also feel what's going on. But what that feels like for you is probably entirely different than what that feels like for me. No, but I believe, I'm going to speak for girls here, correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like girls. You know that it ripped, though. I think girls say that they feel the difference with or without condoms more than guys do.

A hundred percent. And I will probably argue the opposite of that. Because I mean, I know for myself that it's like, well, this is either going to last a decent amount of time or very, very short. Yeah. So it feels very different for me. I've just never heard a guy say you just can't tell. I've always heard guys be like, unless you're wasted. You can tell the difference between having a

condom on or not I'm talking about ripping my guy friends will say oh shit when we were having sex this happened they knew it happened immediately yeah to me it feels like there's rubber feels like there's rubber I don't see Jared

yelling at you Kevin he has a penis. That is that is fact. That's right. That's right. That's right. I mean, a couple of penises. Yeah.

What's it like to not have a penis? Yeah. I'll tell you what over here is pretty great. Pretty good. I mean, I wouldn't know if I if I weigh on the subject. What do you think is the weirder genitalia? Just straight up having like a hole in your body or just having this thing dangling? I always wonder.

To me, I'm like, that's so weird. And I'm sure girls are like, it's much weirder to have this fucking whole device all up in there. I feel like nuts are the weirdest. They're so gross. Yeah, I would feel like dicks and vaginas cancel each other out,

but just having a dick and this bag of balls. The worst. It's weird. There is nothing appealing about that. Because, like, sometimes they're up here, and then sometimes they're, like, way down here. Sometimes they're, like, knocking into my knees, and other times they're, like, all up inside. Yeah, I'm, like, trying to, like, go to bed at night sometimes, and they're getting, like, tangled in my legs and shit. Like, how about that?

That's so stupid that the body was just like, eh, it's a little too warm inside of it, so we're just going to let you hang out outside. Why don't you just fucking fix it up? Right back to a seventh grade dance where I've got a boner. I feel like eventually over time, we can do, like, when you're born, they'll just shove your nuts up inside there. What? Yeah.

It's got to be like a medical, like surgical procedure. That's what I'm saying. How have we not just fixed how hot our body is or how hot cum needs to be? Right. This is the most bizarre question. Think about it. It's not even a question. It's just like, why do they have to hang out?

I mean, it does not make sense. None. They've got to be all smushed up in there. There's a reason for all of our bodily functions and why we're built the way that we are. Can't figure out why nuts just hang down. It's like, why do we have that? What is it? A gallbladder that you don't need at all?

Don't need it. Chop that thing out. Why do we have these things? All they do is cause problems. Those three things and swang and nuts. No point for them. I don't get it. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing?

You good? I know you like that. Yeah, you don't get that. I know you like that. How long you been back? Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. I see the girls in the club, they get... What's up, you mutts?

It's another edition of Clancy and the Rockets. It's Kevin Clancy, Jared Kropp, Casey Smith here on CCK in the afternoons on Barstool Radio Power 85. Beanie gang back for my man JC. Get used to it. This is it for the winter. Growing them up. Let that lettuce flow, baby.

It's coming. You're going to wear the beanie until your hair's grown out? I mean, those cover the cold months, yeah, for sure. Last, yesterday, as we were wrapping up the episode, Casey Smith said, maybe the dumb months, yeah, for sure. Last, yesterday, as we were wrapping up the episode, Kacey Smith said, maybe the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But she's not alone, Jared, that's the thing.

Kacey's not alone, because there's plenty of females who believe this. Who do you mean? Who said this? Every girl. Every girl. It's so funny. To certain degrees, yes. Plenty of girls believe this, I swear to God. She tried to say this take to other people in the office, and they all laughed in her face.

But even if they're naive. No, if I said that none of my guy friends want to hook up with me, that would be a naive take. What I didn't maybe portray accurately. No, I'm not. What I meant to say, I said this afterwards, I'm talking about my very best friends, like the guys that I literally consider brothers. That's what I was meaning by that statement.

It wasn't just like all of my guy friends. It's still wrong. The broad statement was, can guys and girls be platonic friends? And Casey gave the answer, the brief answer of yes. And then like she just clarified, she's talking about her best, best, best, best, best guy friends. Like the guys that like I would like they would be sitting with, like, my family for, like, holiday dinners. How many of those do you have? I have two that I would really consider, like, brothers, but, like, three really, really close guy friends.

How long have you known them? Between 15 and 10 years. That's a pretty long time. I still think those guys would hook up. What year is it? Of course they would. What year is it? Is it 2018?

Yeah. Like, I've known them since, like, 05, 06, 07. up with you. What year is it? Is it 2018? Yeah. Like, I've known them since, like, 05, 06, 07. So you were how old by then? I was in high school. So they have been probably wanting to hook up with you since 05, 06, 07. Yes, correct. It's not like you met them when you were, like, six years old.

You guys are playing in the sandbox together. You guys grew up together. Like, they met you when you were 18. When they were, like, ready to rip. When they were ready to rip. That's when you will have sex with inanimate objects. You'll do anything to get off. You'll stick your dick in a chair.

You'll pull a Rona and fuck the fucking... Casey, let me ask you a serious question. Girls want to believe this, Jared. I know that they do, and God bless their hearts for that. But if you said to one of your best friends, your best guy friend. Like a brother. Yeah, just like a brother.

If it was Saturday night at 1 a.m. and you texted them and be like, honestly, I've been thinking about it, and I really just want to fuck you. They'd be like, no! Like literally put yourself in that exact, not just like, oh my God, like I've got some feelings for you or like something. If you were just like, I'm drunk and I'm naked, let's have sex, do you think your friends would say no? Yeah.

These two specific ones, yes I do. Yes I do. These two specific ones, yes I do. I mean, they legitimately see me as their sister. I was in one of their weddings. I stood... Oh, wait, they're married? One of them is, yeah.

Take that guy out of it. Yeah, that's a little different. His son is my godson. Okay, that may be a little bit different. Even then One of them is, yeah. That's a little different. Take that guy out of it. Yeah, that's a little different. His son is my godson. Okay, that might be a little bit different. Even then, it's still like, wow. Even then, he's like, he's got the thoughts. So you maybe don't act on him, but he's probably still thinking it. I think anybody who's single, period.

Like anybody, I think at that point, at any stage in the game, the guy is at least thinking about it, considering it, wanting to do it, and would do it. Especially if you're the one that's throwing it out there. You can say that they'll never make the first move. Sure, they'll never make the first move. But if you break down the barrier and you're like, hey, I would love to fuck. Most friendships, I would agree with that.

I feel like most of the time, I do believe, call me crazy, I do believe that adults can have relationships without it being about wanting to hook up with each other. I think that you can have a relationship. I think that there's every chance that you might have a friendship where nothing ever progresses past that. I think that people can be adults or coworkers and suppress feelings and all that shit. But it doesn't mean that they're not there deep down. Thinking about it. I wouldn't know that i mean i would have to there's like uh if there was basically if

you could like snap your fingers and have like no repercussions or no whatever and just do it they would be like yep for sure they might even they might even be mature enough to be like uh yeah we are like brother and sister like if we hook up it's gonna get messy when we have to see each other for like thanksgiving or what if you're that close like they might actually be mature enough and have the foresight to be like if I do this it's going to be a problem but that doesn't mean it's still worth the risk yeah it's like it might get messy but we'll deal when we get there we'll cross that bridge when we get there and I can see the look on your face I know you don't want to believe it I'm just saying you should probably operate as if we're right because I mean I feel like okay so here's my here's my thought process on this, is that I have lived with two of these guys in my lifetime, like in college, after college.

And everyone was always shit-faced. We had a pool, so like all of my girlfriends would be there all the time. And it was like back, like when you're like 23, 24, like literally nobody cares. Like you're out of college, you're like in your first job, it's like whatever. If those opportunities were like at the forefront of their minds all the time, it would have probably been presented as like – No, no, no. It's not that they're at the forefront of their mind all the time. We're saying if you presented the idea to them, would they just fly out?

Yeah, because – Could you make it available at 23 and 24? I had – even like 18, 19, 20, whatever. I don't know if I ever was like, no, but our friendship became stronger as the years have gone on. That's the way that works. So at some point, we weren't like brother and sister. At some point, we were just friends, and they still never tried. These two specific

ones. Are they good looking guys? Yeah. And they always have hot girlfriends. Or now hot wives. Did they sleep with your friends? Yes. Oh, yeah. So maybe they were using you as a gateway girl. Fine. I don't think that, like, there are guy friends I'd be like, yeah, absolutely. If I was like, oh, hey, I want to hook up. I don't think that, like, there are guy friends. I'd be like, yeah, absolutely.

If I was like, oh, hey, I want to hook up. Like, okay, yeah. So would any other guy with their girlfriends as well. These two guys, like, not only hooked up with my friends, they would date my friends. It was like I was basically just, like, ushering my friends to them over the years. And then we became, like, brothers and sisters. Absolutely.

They'd hook up. Of course they would. You know what that probably says to me that probably says to me that they're like damn i had my chance back when we all lived together in that fucking pool when i was 23 and 24 it never happened yeah now they probably really want right but at that point we were like super close i'm sorry like 1920 years old when i like was in my full-blown party stage which i guess lasted longer than that but like there was never it was we weren't like brother and sister we're still waiting for you to come out of that right yeah that's true

that's fair i'm just a little bit more responsible about it now you like switched over to like wine instead of like fucking i still am really bad about jameson shots like i like i'm never gonna say no to a jameson shot ever were those fucked up shots that brett always orders oh have you had fernet shots uh he i think from him, it's like, like licorice or something like that, right? I think it makes you

hallucinate. What's in it? I think it makes you hallucinate. It tastes like gasoline. Yeah. It's the worst. I think the only reason

I know of him is because of him. And I think I remember it was maybe the Christmas party last year. Whenever I go out around here,

people act like I'm fucking, it's like they're seeing Bigfoot. They're like, ooh. I mean, it kind of is like that. Well, yeah, but I'm just saying they act as if I've never gone

out or something. It's like, just because I haven't gone out with you guys in the past era doesn't mean I haven't. People act like I'm drinking alcohol for the first time or something. I think we all understand that you do bars. I was like, yeah, sure, whatever, fine. Line it up, whatever you want, line it up.

And they were like, Fernettes. And I was like, shit, I wish it wasn't that Because I think you're supposed to, like, grow up. Like, line it up. Like, whatever you want, line it up. And they were like, Fernettes. And I was like, shit, I wish it wasn't that. Yeah. In people's minds, I think it's like once you, like, become a grown-up drinker, you're not really supposed to take shots, which I heavily disagree with. Of course. Because I feel like if I want to take shots, I don't care if I'm 80 years old or if I'm 18.

Like, that's what I'm going to do. Now, you can't take, like, fireball shots at a certain age. Why? Because it's, like, sugar water. So what? I am a huge proponent of drink whatever you want whenever you want it at whatever age at whatever place like i now i think they're you know when nate gets a bloody mary at like midnight at like a rowdy bar i love that move i i think you're just an asshole like you are you are an asshole like it's crowded people are trying to just like get their bud light and their shot of jameson and

you're like making them fucking get out the mix from tomorrow morning. Give out the celery and shit. But you want to do that. You want to do that. I go, I go, I get an espresso martini all the time. Bartenders roll their eyes and shit. I'm like, just shut up and make my drink. It's delicious.

I want to have it. I don't care. I think that you should be able to drink girly drinks if you want. I think you should be able to drink whatever, no matter what. Same thing I was saying about food yesterday. I'll eat whatever I want, whatever I want. Now you have to understand that there are certain social standards. Like when she says you can't have a fireball shot, you certainly can,

but you have to understand there's going to be some people who are like, you're a pussy, fireball, really? I also just hate fireball. You care about that, that's up to you. I don't know what the sexist, ageist, whatever it is against fireball, that's me. You're a drinkist. You're a, you're a drinkist. Yeah. I caught the fireball flu one time. And I think that the fireball flu has just allowed me to have a strong

opinion on fireball. The fireball era, the fireball craze was one of the greatest phenomenons in drinking history. Like it was so, so gross. It was a huge, I mean, it's, oh, and I was right there. It swept the country and it was like, I was so gross. It was huge. I mean, it's. Oh, and I was right there. It swept the country. And it was like. I was right there.

I mean, it changed drinking because all of a sudden now you could have a quote unquote whiskey shot, even though it's really like you said, like cinnamon sugar. But all of a sudden girls are doing whiskey shots and guys are doing it. And it's it comes like default chilled. I think that's huge when like when liquor is, it comes cold and everybody can enjoy it. It goes down easy, but you feel like you're not, even though you kind of are at the time at least,

you felt like you weren't being like, can I get a SoCo lime? Can I do a lemon drop? It was like, yeah, we're doing shots of Fireball whiskey, but it, but it magically went down easy

because it's like, it's really not that, you know, that, that much whiskey, but that made for, I thought for a great time. I thought that was awesome.

What's the alcohol content in Fireball? I think it's a little bit less. I know that. I think it's like 10 proof less or something. Not that anybody probably cares when they're drinking because it's like you're drinking, you're hurting your body anyways. The reason that the hangovers are so bad after Fireball is because there's more grams of sugar in one ounce of that shit

than like a candy bar. So Fireball is 66 proof. So that's about 20% less than like a true shot of whiskey. Parents are just figuring out Fireball. Have you noticed that? Like all the holiday parties, it's like parents now are all drinking Fireball. Yeah, see, that makes sense. Like now your mom thinks she can do whiskey.

It's fun. I mean, like I'd rather, if I'm going to ask for a shot, like if someone comes up to me like, hey, can I get you a shot? I'll say Jameson. But if I show up to the bar. That never understand jameson is like just well that's the problem too is that most often jameson just comes warm as fuck yeah that's true i don't get why why jameson became like the default party shot because of everything i just explained like for the most part it's it's not an easy shot that goes down easy for the for the general public

you like it certain people who drink, they have no problem with it. The average person, especially the average girl, people who don't drink that much, you do a warm shot of Jameson. It's like, hold on, I might throw up. And it became like the shot. Really? Yeah, you know why I think it did for me was because, so I don't, this is a crazy girl thing.

I don't like whiskey. I don't drink whiskey. If I'm going to drink liquor, I'm drinking vodka. But I love shooting Jameson because I think that after the fireball craze like went down and like I said,

like when I say I had the fireball flu, like I legitimately thought that I was going to have to like hospitalize myself. Like it was that bad. It was just like an awful hangover?

In New Orleans. Like I have a whole New Orleans story with fireball. And so I can't even. Do tell. Share. Basically.

Share with the class. I mean, it's nothing like super exciting but i we used to go to new orleans every year with some of these guy friends that i'm talking about a big group of us would go we went for like six years in a row because it was really easy to get to from houston and the casino there used to be you could get free drinks wherever you could be sitting at the slot machines and you get them so i like to play blackjack so i would know if the waitress was coming around, she wasn't going to be back for fucking ever. So I would order a Bloody Mary and a shot of Fireball. Well, they changed the rules without me knowing that you only get free drinks in the pits. So the waitresses just kept coming back a whole lot faster than I thought they were.

And I sat at the tables for like six or seven hours. And I have no idea how many shots. I blacked out. They had to like take me home. Apparently I was trying to like sleep next to a homeless man on the streets. Just like one of those nights. But it was because I just kept taking these shots of fireball. I woke up the next day.

Give me a ballpark. How many did you have? I mean, if you're, I don't know. I had to have had a bottle. I had to have had a bottle of it by then. And it spread out all day. And of course, like, you know, you're playing blackjack. So for some reason, I don't get as drunk as fast when i'm like trying to concentrate and

you're sitting down that's one of those ones you stand up you're like wait a minute i've got pictures of me on bourbon street that night like with one like the shot girls that are basically just strippers like i'm like sitting on her lap like handing out i mean it was just one of those nights and then i wake up and i felt horrible there There was dollar bills all over my bed. I was by myself too. Like I have no idea what happened that night, but I felt- Casey, I think you did probably hook up with one of those guys you're talking about.

No, I didn't. Their girlfriends are there. I feel- I hooked up with them too. Shit, New Orleans. Who knows? I felt like I had the legitimate flu for days after. I still can't smell fire.

Like I was throwing up on bourbon. Just a whole thing. So you had, like, one of those moments, I mean, you read it all, but before that, you liked it. Yeah. And then I realized, like, I seriously can't smell it. So I think I went to Jameson after that because it was like somebody in the group was like, oh, you don't want to take Fireball anymore? Why don't you try real whiskey and get it chilled?

And I was like, okay. And it just stuck. I mean, that's been like years ago. I think the chill is really what matters. I don't know why every liquor should just be chilled. Like tequila? Chilling warm tequila is fucking insane. Now, actually, they say when you get true good tequila,

that it's supposed to not be chilled because that, I mean, the whole idea of chilling is basically like cuts away some of the taste and some of the, and real good tequila. You're supposed to like soak it in and enjoy. I remember I did a tequila tasting and you know, usually if you're going all out, you do like the lime and the salt.

Other people are like holding their nose or they're holding their breath. Holding their nose. You never seen a girl. Yeah, but that doesn't actually work, right? Oh yeah. If you hold your nose,

you lose like half your taste. Really? Oh yeah. No, your that doesn't actually work, right? Oh, yeah. If you hold your nose, you lose like half your taste. Really? Oh, yeah. Your nose is like 50% of smelling. She's doing it right now with her coffee. And then when you let go,

you'll taste it. No, it still tastes the same to me. Then something's wrong with your taste buds and your nose. I've been drinking the coffee, though,

and I'm going to be stubborn and say that that's not the case. It could have absolutely happened and you would have denied it. Okay, I'll try it with something I haven't had a sip of all day and I'll let you know how it goes. But I remember doing like a tasting with like a tequila sommelier and he was like holding it in front of your nose, like waft the smell in. I was like, I don't like the smell. I don't want to do this.

But it actually made the shot go down like completely smooth. So I think if you have good shit, you do it the right way, I think it's fine. But to me, otherwise, chill the Patron. Give me clear tequila. Don't give me any brown shit. Don't give me any warm shit. No Casamigos, not Patron. Yeah, right, right, fine. Give me that Clowny, whatever, but

don't give me that cheap shit anymore. Like the gold stuff. Oh, gold schlager or whatever the fuck it is. No, no,. At all. Oh, gold schlager or whatever the fuck it is. No, no, gold tequila. That's trash too. Yeah, that's trash.

That's a whole other genre of the Rumpelmints, gold schlager. Ooh, Rumpelmints though. Don't discount Rumpelmints. Listen, you say three times Trent might appear. You gotta be careful.

Because it has, it's so multi-purposed because you can take- Clear your breath up. I mean, it's super strong so it's not like you're taking like a fireball shot where it's like, you're mostly sugar. It's like very high in alcohol content.

And then no matter who you breathe on for the rest of the night, if you only drink rumble mints, it smells like you just chugged a bottle of toothpaste. You about to make out. There you go. Yeah. No, it's not even just Listerine.

Like it has, it's like you just have toothpaste just living in your mouth. And it's like every breath you take, it's like releases just a mint. Jay Hayes' younger brother, he once visited Justin at college when he was, like, I guess still in high school. And they went out, they had themselves a night. It was basically like hazing and initiating for him. And they were drinking mental, uh, Rupplements. Yeah.

And he went home and, you know, he's like blacked out at the time of his life. And he was like, what was that stuff we were drinking out at the time of his life and he was like what was that stuff we were drinking that night with you guys and havens was like i don't know what like trying to piece it together he was like it was tasted minty with a mental gobs was a mental gobs so they called rumplements mental gobs for the rest of their college career what is like the socially acceptable shot where if you go to the bar that's what i'm saying that's what it depends on your age but like now that it's. It's been that for a long time. If everyone has it, then it's

not that. Jameson, at least in my circle, is the one, oh, we're going to get shots. You just assume it's going to be Jameson. Unless you specify something else. I want to take a tequila shot. If I say I'm going to take a shot, it's Jameson. I think it's tequila, in my mind, Patron,

or Jameson. Otherwise, I think you're specifying. I think if one of those two comes back, you gotta understand that's probably what it's gonna be. For sure. I mean, if I go out after a Red Sox game and I'm with all the people that I usually hang out with in Boston, if you say we're doing a round of shots, it's gonna be fucking

McGillicuddy's. I feel it's a Boston thing, right? Yeah, I guess. Jameson, like, most of my friends in Boston, it was Jameson. A Boston thing, right? Yeah, I guess. Jameson, like, most of my friends in Boston, it was Jameson. A little doctor, Jared? Yeah, it's, I mean, like, it's just,

it's basically just like a vodka shot. Did you guys ever do the full haircuts with the chocolate sauce and all that shit? Yeah, I did that in college. It's like,

they call it a haircut because you sit down in a chair and you lean your head back as if you're, like, in the barber's seat and you do, like, someone's pouring the McGillicuddies and someone's pouring the chocolate sauce and they you lean your head back as if you're like in the barber seat and they, you do like the, someone's pouring the, the McGill cutties and someone's pouring the chocolate

sauce and they fucking shake your head up and it's like a mint chocolate chip type of thing. I mean, that, that feels like something I would do at what, was it like Carlos and Charlie's or some shit like that? What is that? Yeah. Isn't that the place in Mexico? It's one of them.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like senior frogs. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right it sure wasn't. I mean, it was. She did not want that to be public. That's what she says. Right. I feel you. I know what you're saying. Yeah. But it kind of just brought up the sex tape talk in general. Like, I'll watch absolutely anybody's sex tape.

Like who? Literally anybody. Name a name, I'd watch it. Anybody? Yeah. Like, not out of, maybe not necessarily out of, like, I'm turned on, or just, like, out of curiosity. I'll watch Dave.

Dave. But even that, see, like, I would probably want to watch it to make fun of curiosity. I watch Dave. But even that, see like I would probably want to watch it to make fun of him. That's true. So like I can have an angle. Like if you knew

everybody around you was watching something like and you don't want to not know. FOMO. If Dave had a sex tape that came out, I don't know that

the entire office would watch it. I bet you there would be some people who wouldn't but I would. You would? Yeah. I'd watch like a part of it i'd like to make fun of him i mean there's that one still shot of him that like the porn doppelganger i mean if that was really him and he was looking like that like all like sweaty on top of some body i would watch to make fun of him if if feidelberg had a sex tape that leaked there i would be so upset if there wasn't a kfc radio

episode where you guys did like director's cut oh yeah we'd have to do like a play by like mr science 3000 yeah yeah absolutely i mean for sure you would have to do well this is the part where i pulled my hamstring we'd have him like mike w have a telestrator out and the whole time watch it all rocket i'd watch you and watch everybody i i told big cat, I was like, I want a sex tape of mine to leak. Because you think you put it down?

No, I just would like think of what it does for like Kim K. I don't know if it does it for dudes though. If I get followers to the 1,000th of that attention,

that'd be great. I don't know if it does that for guys. 1,000th maybe? It would for like a bar super. If like, if anyone at this company had a sex tape that leaked,

it would do good things for them. Yeah, but I feel like it is a double standard. I feel like it normally does much more for girls. Oh, obviously, but it's not like a guy wouldn't benefit from it. Unless you have a sweet dick, I don't think it's... Yeah, I actually think you would get the attention right away, but they're going to be breaking it down negatively way more for a dude than a girl. I don't even care about that.

If Pornhub saw my sex tape and they were like, we'll give you 500 grand for a 10-film series, I'd be like, deal. 500 grand? Do you think that's what people get paid for porn? I mean, it depends. Nobody's getting 500 grand for porn. That's not true. I'm Lane Kiffin Giff right now.

They get big money in the porn industry. Half a million dollars for Jared Carabas porn. Yeah, like the number one porn stars maybe, but the fact that you think that you are... That's right. That's right, Za. My man. We are absolutely hitting a break right now. I'm going to let you

think about what you just said. And please call up and shame Jarrett Kravitz for thinking that his pornographic material would be worth half a million dollars. Ten films. Ten films. Do the math. A thousand films, Jarrett. Five hundred thousand films. Maybe not.

Maybe. Maybe then. It's wrong. We'll be back after the break on cck your wedding i also wouldn't pay anywhere close to five hundred thousand dollars for jared carravitz's porn. Nobody would. That's not true. Now, I think that maybe there's some, like, Section 10 hoes who have some weird thing

for Jared that maybe they would want to watch, but I don't know if there's enough of them to justify $500,000 from Pornhub. Well, we'll find out. Let's talk to Matt about it. What do you think about it? I mean, these are all being screened as rocket porn series what do you got matt hey kfc casey jared you are out of your goddamn mind casey and liz themselves couldn't get five hundred thousand dollars for one porno and you think you're gonna get it for five i yeah i agree with that you don't accept

that challenge no series high but please don't even come on let me let me just let me just interject here you're not my demo buddy like of course you don't think it's worth it i'm a connecticut guy blossom sauce two and through section 10 garrett casey couldn't get 500 000 dollars and she has dropped that fucking gorgeous. No offense, Casey. There's no fucking way. I know, but like Casey doesn't have the it factor. I do.

I feel like I think $500,000 is really... I'm kind of making Pornhub an offer where they're like, this has a lot of value to us. Oh, so you're shooting high? No, no, no. I lot of value to us. Oh, so you're shooting high? Like, you know. No, no, no, no, no. I'm shooting low.

He's giving him a deal. Yeah, I'm giving him a deal. I have no offense to shooting your shot, Jared, but get the fuck out of here. Come on. I love you guys. I have so much more you're doing. Yeah, I actually, I forgot that we weren't on air

during the commercial break. Like, he said, like, no offense. I said that over the break. Like, there said, like, no offense. I said that over the break. Like, there's zero chance that I would get anywhere near that. Half a million dollars for something that somebody is doing every single day. People are having sex every single day. And for anybody to think that they're worth half a million dollars for people to watch it is crazy.

Well, I said, unless it's, like, really good, really bad, or really funny. Or it's a super celebrity, or it's somebody that's, like, already pulling in that type of money for different kinds of events. Like, no, nobody would pay me for that. Luke, what do you got? Hey, guys. Jared, man, I'm sorry. You couldn't do it by yourself.

But who would your partner be? Who would you do it with and try to piggyback on top of a collab? Hmm. A collab. The Jared, like a matchup. That's a good way to spin it. That's a good way to spin collab. A collab. That's a good question. That's a good way to spin it. That's a good way to spin it, a collab. That's a good question. Are there any Red Sox super fans that are female? Menounos.

I mean, Menounos would be put. That would be the Menounos sex tape. It wouldn't be the Carrabba sex tape. That's debatable. Nope, really not debatable at all. There would be no debate. I mean, it would be 50-50. Affleck? I wouldn't do a porn with Affleck.

He probably throws down. You would think. I don't know. Sometimes I always wonder, like, if it's kind of the same thing as, like, a really, really hot girl. It's like she doesn't need to try much because they know that they're just happy that, like, I'm naked and letting you inside me. Same thing with, like, a celebrity. Do celebrity do you think he like really cares to try it's like when you hear that story about how leo just pops on headphones and you only it's only doggy style and he puts on his his headphones that's what he does yeah he like doesn't want to look at them like roll on molly

or something too i'm sure he does that i think that was part of that there was like he like leaves a hoodie on has his headphones in and he fucks you from behind. And it's like, next, get out of here. Really? Yeah, because it's just like a – I think at that point for him it's like you take a shower in the morning. You go to the bathroom. It's like your routine. He's just like, fuck you, get out of here. Damn.

Well, it's definitely a power move, but I don't know that I could just do that every time. I also think that it's probably like when he likes you or when he's in the mood. You can look at me. Yeah, we have a blast. But there's also just like, I need to clear the pipes. I need to like, you know, just crack in your knuckles. It's like his morning jerk off. Right.

He uses a human to do it. You jerk off in the shower. I'm just jerking off with this girl's vagina. All right. It's Christmas time here. It's going to be the first Christmas for Clancy, Casey, and Carabas. And so we got into the best Christmas movies of the holiday season. And we discussed what is a Christmas movie and what is not a Christmas movie.

Because my partner on my other program, John Feidelberg, is a goddamn moron who doesn't think that Elf is a Christmas movie. He's an idiot. His brain is broken. So I got to get him some Omax for Christmas so I can fix his stupid brain. Omax is a cognitive boost supplement that gives you full peak performance mentally. It makes you sharper. It makes you increase your memory, increase all sort of mental capacity when you take an OMAX every single day. If you're feeling foggy or forgetful or unfocused or unmotivated or flat out irritable, which is all those things that idiot is. If you find yourself trying to argue stupid moronic statements like Elf is not a Christmas movie, you too might need OMAX Cognitive Boost. I'm going to give you 60% off a one-month supply of this cognitive boost

when you go to omaxboost.com slash KFC. That's O-M-A-X-B-O-O-S-T dot com slash KFC. You get 60% off a one-month supply. You get the alpha and the omega. That's like KC and Karabas on my show, the alpha and the omega combining for fireworks in your brain. That's Omax boost dot com slash KFC. So we're breaking down our favorite Christmas movies. We're also breaking down our favorite guilty pleasures, the songs that, you know, you might turn down at the red light when you were jamming out to him because you're embarrassed. Somebody is going to be is going to be listening to him. And we take a stroll down memory lane with Spin the Bottle

and a lot more on this week in week four of Clancy and the Rockets. Father's mouth. Oh, kiss me. Beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit road. Lift your open hand. Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance. You hear that part where they say fireflies? Sounds like fart flies. I didn't notice that.

It's one of those misheard lyrics. Keith hit me with one of those. That's another old school Mail Time episode. We'll do that one day here. The best misheard lyrics of all time. You can get into some fun ones with that. One of the, I guess, I don't want to call it the mbop of our generation, but it kind of was

Call Me Maybe. That song. Are you not into that song? You are? No. You are? Very much, and that's a very good call. I think Carly Rae has fucked around with a couple other, like, not hits, but she's had

a couple other songs. That song. Yeah. You know what? And that's very good. Please play that song. Yeah. I mean, it's a good song.

For the next hour. Took over a college campus. I mean, this song took over the whole fucking country for a period of time. Yeah. I mean, it's a good song. For the next hour. Took over college campus. I mean, this song took over the whole fucking country for a period of time. Yeah, it sure did. Parker House in the summer down in Manasquan in Jersey. She was like throwing out first pitches at baseball games across the country after the song came out. I mean, well, what really happened was when Biebs and Selena and them made the music video of them dancing to it. That's when it was good.

Yeah. This was the... This got overplayed, though. Nope. No such thing, Casey. No such thing. Time to bring it back. This was the theme song for KFC Radio.

Because it was all about calling in. Oh, yeah. We had Francesca be like, ball, stool, sports. Oh, yeah. You know that? We had Francesca be like, Barstool Sports. Oh, yeah. And then Carly Rae would drop in. You play this at the live show, too.

Yeah. Got the crowd going. Yeah. Oh, it's definitely a good song to get, like, a listener response. We were at one of the bars down in the Jersey Shore

where I, like, did the summertime. And we had this dumb, stupid thing where if somebody put their finger on the top of your head, you had to spin like a top. And when this song came on, everybody was just topping everybody.

It was unbelievable. People who didn't even know what was going on could just join in and do it. It was great. So we were discussing Christmas movies. John's an idiot. I mean, literally one of the dumbest things I've ever heard for saying that Elf is not a Christmas movie. Like, you can have the argument about Die Hard.

What was his logic? Like, I still don't understand the logic. I didn't even read. I think he just said it and then didn't back it up. I think he might have said something about it being a comedy. Like, he feels like in order to be Christmassy, it needs to be a little more. But there's still sentimental moments in it.

I agree. I mean mean I literally yeah it's all like redemption yeah family and everything he said that everyone on Barstool Radio agreed with him I was like oh okay so Tommy who is alarmingly stupid

and that son of a bitch Riggs I don't give a fuck what those guys think Riggs is the Grinch he doesn't have any Christmas say there's no way that a logical human being sees elf and says it's not a christmas movie i mean there's zero people elf it's a he wears a christmas elf outfit the entire movie it's all about him decorating santa's wonderland santa the whole thing this is like he also said i don't like bad Santa because it's I think his thought was

it's a comedy first not a Christmas movie first which I don't think I also don't think that makes sense either he said something to the effect of like you could have that movie happen in July and it's the same movie now you can say that about Die Hard

Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. If Bruce Willis was fighting Hans Gruber and it wasn't a Christmas backdrop, would not change the movie. I agree with that. It's a movie that's set at Christmas time. I think that you watch it at Christmas time

because it's on TV. So, Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. It's a Christmas tradition movie. People watch it around Christmas time and no one's getting into the holiday spirit watching Die Hard. I watch it all year. I actually don't watch it around Christmas time.

But you're going to see it on some channels and on the premium channels. That's a good way to describe what is and isn't a Christmas movie is if you took the plot line and put it any other time in the year, would it still stand by itself? However, then you run into the problem with Home Alone. Because I think Home Alone

plays without Christmas. That's fair. But I do think that's a Christmas movie because I think I just do. Christmas has a nice backdrop to it. But if you had that kid fighting burglars in June when school's out or some shit like that, it would totally play. Is Elf the last great Christmas movie?

That's another good question. Like I was saying, are there modern guilty pleasures that are coming out? Are there modern Christmas movies coming out? No. No. Elf is like the last of its kind. There's a couple that I fuck with that are okay, but I'm not even remotely putting it into.

Like what? Four Christmases was all right. Christmas with the Cranks was like half decent. Yeah. Which one was Four Christmases? Was that the one with Vince Vaughn? That was a good one. I saw that in theaters,

but I feel like that was like a decade ago. It might have been. Yeah, I mean, that's not even that new. You're right. Yeah. Modern Christmas movies. I'm also not. I mean, the new Grinches,

but that's just the Grinch. I don't watch any of the Hallmark movies or anything. I'm a Christmas movie elitist. 2008? Christmas movie elitist. Oh! Yeah. Like, I gotta go.

Just like the traditional movies that we used to watch as a kid growing up. I just remember who I saw it with. What? Not good? Nothing. Nope. Oh, you know what was a good Christmas movie? And it's kind of, but again, it's more of a comedy.

The Night Before with Seth Rogen, What's-His-Face, and the other What's-His-Face, that was good. I'm not going to put it, again... Do you like Bad Santa? Love Bad Santa. Me too.

That to me, though, is, again, more, this is just a funny-ass movie. It's still a Christmas movie to me. He's fucking playing Santa. But more often than not, Christmas movies to me are like what you said. Tugs on the heartstrings,

making you think of family and Christmas. Make me feel things. Bad Santa and Billy Bob is just fucking hilarious. Billy Bob Thornton's incredible. He is just so funny. How do you feel about

the Christmas story? It's the most depressing movie of all time. They play that like a million times during Christmas and I still... They do it 24 hours.

Yeah, I like it. It's pretty sad it's pretty bleak it's borderline child abuse and it is by my i remember my dad i said all these things my dad he was like yeah yeah that's what life was like in the 50s like that was my that was my upbringing it was very accurate i'm like that's fine but when he puts the when he puts the weird leg lamp out and he's so excited and the family's depressed. When they put the soap in his mouth. Yeah. And when he says, oh, fuck.

And he says, fudge. You just basically get the impression that, like, his dad went home and beat him with a fucking belt. Basically. The whole thing is very depressing to me. I mean. The kid getting his tongue stuck. That makes me fucking scared. Oh, yeah.

That's gross still. And then, like. Then when he beats the fucking shit out of that kid. Love it. His face is bleeding. That kid deserved it. He did. But I'm just saying.

This is some aggressive shit. It really is. And then, is and then like he ends up like almost actually shooting his eye out and like the teacher gives oh when he has the the dream sequence and the teacher's dressed in all black and is behaving weird and he's blind yeah yeah great what do you got on uh elf yeah uh fights the fucking retard. I mean... Hey, it's 2018, but he is certainly an R-word. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's Barstool, right? But he's talking about

comedy. He's only comedies, but in his blog he's like, I like Jingle All The Way. Which is ridiculous. I mean, John will get himself... He also used to say that he doesn't like... He likes Jingle All The Way? Well, let's not disparage the good word Jingle All The Way. which is like yeah i mean john will get himself he also used to say that he doesn't he likes jingle all the way well let's not disparage the good word jingle all the way but he likes that

but not elf logic sinbad and arnold oh yeah that's a classic it is but it's not better than elf no it's not it's not but yeah but again more importantly the same cloth what greg is saying here is the logic of i don't like christmas comedies but you like uh smash hit jingle all the way that makes no sense john he also told me that he doesn't he said on k logic of I don't like Christmas comedies but you like smash hit jingle all the way. That makes no sense. John, he also told me that he said on KC Radio, I don't like music and he is Mr. Musical. He walks around singing musical numbers all the time.

So sometimes his brain just stops working. We'll do a little more Christmas movie segment here and then we'll get into some actual topics of the day. Reed, what do you got on Christmas movies? You guys were talking about how Elf and Flash, Reyes, Bardade, Christmas movie. How about Harold and Kumar?

Harold and Kumar and Flash. I didn't even know that was a Christmas movie, to be honest. Did they do a Christmas movie? Not like the original Go to White Castle is not a Christmas movie? No, no, no. They made a new one a couple years ago,

I think it was 2011. Fucking hysterical. I could actually see that being funny, but I'm not gonna, like, when it's Christmas season and I'm like,

let me watch my movies how I'm gonna be. You know what it is I believe has a Christmas backdrop? Daddy's Home. That was a terrible, like, family rom-com type, but not rom-com mark walberg

mark walberg and will ferrell it was just like the second one was the first one wasn't christmas was it maybe not maybe i'm thinking the second one jeff what do you uh jeff what's up hey guys what's going on hey uh i thought you guys were forgetting one, but you guys were talking about it earlier. It's Jingle All The Way. That's my absolute favorite Christmas movie of all time. I mean, you know what? It was so good. It was real, man.

Go ahead. Nope, nope. You're the caller. You got it. Go ahead. So it was so good that I actually got the Turbo Man doll when I was a kid, like the actual doll. I mean,

that's why that movie is so real because when they're, when you have a, a smash product at the holidays, like that is what it's like. I, I don't know what the recent ones have been. I don't think we've had one quite like the Tickle Me Elmo's and the Furbies yet. We haven't had that

one in a while. People were beating the shit out of each other for Furby's. They literally were. I remember writing a blog on it recently. It was stories of people getting beat up in the fucking parking lots. John Gotti bought all of the fucking

what's it called in Manhattan. He had like all of them. Like the mob got involved in that shit. What? Yeah. And it was more like a flex. He was just like he was giving them out to like families and poor people and shit. Oh, that's cool. Being like, you know, Robin Hood type shit.

Tristan, what do you got? What's up, guys? First of all, Paul Berg, he's a clown for that. I'm just going to go ahead and start with that. I think the top one for me, I don't hear it that often, is A Christmas Carol, but it's got to be the Muppet version. I don't know why that one's always like a top one for me. I don't like Muppets.

Not a huge Muppet guy. Well, there's that one, obviously, Christmas Vacation, top one. Hell, yeah. There's like a guilty pleasure one for me is Deck the Halls with Matthew Broderick. Oh, I forgot about that one. And Danny DeVito, you know, battling about the decorations and whatnot. I don't know if I've seen that one. I forgot about that one.

I haven't seen it in a long time. What about Scrooge? Yeah, that's a good one I like that That's a good one That's a really good one A good twist on the I'm looking here at it

This is a 2013 article And it was Top 10 Christmas movies Of the last decade None of them are that good, man I mean No First of all

They put The Hobbit on there The Hobbit? Maybe that just means movies Oh, this is just movies That came out on Christmas. That's totally different. Christmas is a big time to drop. Do you think In Bruges is a Christmas movie? That was on this list.

I don't even know what that is. Yeah, it's with Colin Farrell. You know who could make a great Christmas movie? The guys that all came together for This is the End. Like if it was like Danny McBride. That's what The Night Before is kind of like. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. What's his face?

Seth Rogen. So the rule is his Joseph Gordon-Levitt's like parents have died and they die when he was a little kid. And it was kind of like almost in wedding crashers when it's like they always got together on the same night. So it was like every Christmas they used to get together for the kid whose parents died, something like that. And then they like they fell off on the tradition, and they kind of reunite. But it's got a lot of those guys in it. Is that the one where they're playing tag or some shit? No, that's tag.

That's different. That's called tag? Yeah, it's called tag. And it's based on a true story. That's a pretty unexpectedly good movie. I watched it on demand when it came out. Yeah. Yeah, they play tag when it came out. Yeah. Yeah, they play tag for the entire month of May.

And these guys used to do it. They do it at funerals and shit? Anyway. The month of May, you are like, it's live. At any place. And they've done it through their adulthood. Yep. Okay.

But so in the night before, they end up doing like shrooms and ecstasy and end up like having like the party night of a lifetime. And it's very, it's very, this is the end-esque. And where is Christmas involved in that? I think it's actually Hanukkah. I think like Seth Rogen is like doing it on the night of Hanukkah or some shit. But anyway. I need a Danny McBride Christmas movie is what I'm trying to say.

Yeah, there you go. But they should have just like made This is the End happen on Christmas, and it would have been like, bam, we wedged it in. So officially, Die Hard, not a Christmas movie for you, Jared? Die Hard is not a Christmas movie for me. But you're down with it being a Christmas tradition. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that's kind of what it is.

It's worked its way into the Christmas lexicon. It's definitely a movie that a lot of people watch during Christmas time, but not a Christmas movie. You'd just be ignorant to say that it has nothing to do with Christmas at this point. Yeah, no, it's set as Christmas. But if you're watching it in July, no one's like, what the fuck are you doing? I think people like to argue about

Die Hard being a Christmas movie just for the sake of it. Because it's like, I feel, and I mean, Home Alone, I can see that too, but it's also, Home Alone's also a family movie movie so that makes it feel like you're not sitting down with like your five and six year old kid watching a motherfucker you're not watching die hard with like your young children i mean i guess you could be but like in reality like it's not a feel-good family movie whereas like home alone they wouldn't be going on the road does yeah there are and there is like a family vibe to it at the end which is Christmas oriented

like the Christmas tree he just happens to be at a Christmas party and they play Christmas music for a little bit and then he just mercs all those motherfuckers I'm with you on that but also watch out because Clem might murder you now Casey that's fine what for saying that it's what not a Christmas tree

I don't think it is Die Hard is his number one movie of all time. Die Hard's a fantastic movie. You could watch Die Hard in the middle of July and no one's going to be like, what the fuck's wrong with you? But if you're watching Elf in the middle of July, people are like, what's wrong with you? I feel like Home Alone, even though it has less of a

Christmas storyline than Elf, John Feidelberg, you still don't watch that in July. No. What if somebody came up to you, Casey, and said, let's go watch A Christmas Story and eat some chopped cheese? Swoon. I'm in.

Swoon. And listen to Despacito. Would that be the perfect date for Casey Smith? Yeah. Oh, you got to have red wine, too. Red wine and maybe some sort of football in the mix. Yeah, like maybe. Like a bowl game. Let's watch a bowl game.

Not a shitty bowl game. Right. Let's wait until maybe the national... Like the playoff, that's after Christmas. Yeah, it's got to be before. So if you could get like a Rose Bowl maybe. Yeah, something that was after, but still, yeah. That's after Christmas?

Yeah, that's one of the New Year's Day. But see, I feel like around Christmas time, like last night I had Monday night or Thursday night football on my laptop and was watching Home Alone on my TV. And then like my Christmas tree is up. I'm drinking red wine and I'm eating really good food. Like I can do that by myself and it's fine. Like I don't need anybody else to be there.

I don't need no man. But then you throw a dude in the mix and like the cuddling and then, yeah. Throw a dick in the mix. And it cuddling and then, yeah. Throw a dick in the mix. And it's like, you know, like fine. So let's talk about this thirst trap picture. Oh. Did you put it out? No.

Are you going to put it out? No. It's that bad. It's not that bad. It's just I have realized that. You can't just post without. Well, OK, so I posted that. I actually brought you up, Kevin, when I was talking about this this morning

because I said something along the lines of, like, the gym selfie that I put up that I was promoting my friend's yoga pants. The infamous Alex Bregman. See, that's the problem. That's why I brought you up. I was like, that's not why that was. And it's like, it's just not. You're a liar.

It's not. I was posting it for. You have a smirk on your face as you say this. No, I don't. Yeah. Prove me wrong. No, but I. Did you see this blog you say this. No, I don't. Yeah. Prove me wrong. No, but I... Did you see this blog that Ellie wrote?

No, I did not. So Ellie wrote a blog just about thirst traps and junk. Do you know what thirst traps are? I sure do. Okay. So she wrote a blog. Casey's Instagram story. Yeah.

If you don't know... What? Look at Casey's Instagram story from the Alex Bregman episode. Yeah, but you can't go back... You saying it's my Instagram story would lead people to believe that I do that every day yeah not every day i don't do that every day i do it no it's not every day people also that's the reason i was we were talking about it was because i and i actually asked like coley i asked francis like when we got in the building like how they define what's too thirsty because everybody has like completely different versions of what they

think is too thirsty meanwhile like there's well wait minute. By the way, I think of thirst trap as like the guy is thirsty for you. Right. Yeah. Okay. I thought you were going to come across thirsty for posting it. Well, it's kind of a back and forth. I guess you're thirsty for attention. He's thirsty for you.

It's a two way street. It's a two way street. Like you're posting it. And the reason it's called a trap is because you know that you're going to get the attention from it. Yeah. So you're thirsty for attention. He's thirsty for a girl.

But in reality, that's all of social media. Yeah. And that's like my argument with it. It's like when I see girls like that are like naked on Instagram, like fitness models are like, I don't care because like what that's what they want their social media to be. And so then there's like now the rules of like, well, if you're an Instagram model, you can post like Emily Ratajkowski, who's obviously more than an Instagram model. But, you know, I mean, she can post different things but if like

a regular everyday girl posts a swimsuit picture then there's like a different line with that to me it's like social media is like everybody's thirsty on social media you wouldn't post if you weren't like you post everybody's looking for attention and likes and then retweets and the craving of and that's whether you're posting with your family or you're being funny yeah it's fine

that's kind of what Ellie's blog was saying is like fuck it if that's what you want to post and you do want attention and you're being funny yeah it's fine that's kind of what ellie's blog was saying is like fuck it you want to if that's what you want to post exactly you do want attention and you're happy with like your body or your outfit or whatever go for it and do it um but i mean for you to for you to be like nah i'm not gonna post it i wasn't like i wasn't gonna make near as big of a deal about it until the blog was written because i told ellie i was like i'm not like nobody's gonna care what i like from a girl standpoint, like she has reached that girl audience. Like that's her thing. I was like, so you should write a blog about thirst traps. Cause you see that come up all the time. Like I'll have like my like shitty girlfriends from like college,

like send me like girls in college. They used to be like, remember when she used to dress like this? I'm like, I don't care how she dressed now. I definitely didn't care back then. So I told Ellie, I was like, you should write about what is too thirsty. And I knew she didn't think anything is too thirsty. I was only going to post the picture just out of like, it was, it's not that big of a deal. Like it's way less than anything else I've ever posted,

but now I can't just because the, like it's a thing. No, I'm just not going to. No, I mean, I like, I,

it became a thing. No, it wasn't. I just like sent it to her and I was like, what do you think about this? And she was like, Oh my God, you have to post this. Like the world like sent it to her and I was like, what do you think about this? And she was like, oh my God, you have to post this. Like the world needs to see this. And I was like, see, that's why I don't want, like, I would feel like men posting it.

It's like, okay, I'm posting this because. You have to worry about like everyone's reaction when it's really not that big of a deal. No. And it goes away. It could be, it could be like what you look like, what you're wearing or not wearing or whatever it may be. The other day I wanted to. So when when the garbage man comes to my house, the kids love the garbage.

Love it. Shea runs over. He honks the horn or whatever. And I had to we're moving. So I had like a billion bags of garbage instead of just my normal one can. And so I want to tip the garbage man. And so I taped it to the the garbage can and i left a little note that just said thank you for always honking for the kids yeah and i i took like a video of how much fucking garbage there was and then i had the

tip on there and i just because i i thought it was like a funny thing like me and my kids have this relationship with the garbage man yeah and i was about was about to post it. I was like, no, not going to do it because people are going to be like, oh, like humblebrag, you're tipping your fucking garbage man or whatever, rather than just being like, don't you think it's funny that I have to write notes to my garbage man about my kids? I was a garbage kid back in the day. I apparently donated my shoes to the garbage man. So I used to do the same thing. I would wait for the garbage truck every day

and I'd wave to them and they'd wave back. And I liked them so much. I was like, they love garbage. Like, how about take my shoes? Like, throw that in there. So my brand new shoes, I had just right in the back of the garbage truck. Wait. You would give it to them to, like, have? Yeah, no, no, no. They, like, they put it

in the garbage. I thought you meant you, like, handed them to them to, like, wear. No. Like, no, no, no. They put it in the garbage. I thought you meant you handed them to them to wear. No. I take back my awe. You guys love trash. You guys want things to throw in the back of the truck. Here, you can have my shoes too. I don't get it.

I was a fucking kid. I was a little ass kid. I just don't get it. I don't get it. What do you mean you were happy to throw your shoes in the garbage? Yes. I don't think they really cared. I realize that now, Kevin. Okay, good. I just wanted to get it. I don't get it. Like they were happy to throw your shoes in the garbage? Yes. I don't think they really cared. I realize that now, Kevin. Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure of that.

Yeah, I realize that now. Like I think as a kid, I still knew what the difference between like trash and things I wanted to keep was. I mean, yeah. Like I wouldn't have like walked out and like handed him my Barbies and been like, I want you to throw my favorite things in the trash.

I mean, my shoes were not my favorite things. But they were new. Like you thought they were trash. Was Ellen like, stop throwing your shoes out? Oh, yeah. She was like, where are your shoes? I was like, I gave them to the trash men. I don't know.

This is one. I'm going to die tonight. Nicely produced. Great stuff. Now, you want to talk about getting up on a Friday. Give me a little o little mmmbop. Hot take? I was not a big Hanson fan. Like, back in the day. Was anybody? Oh, yeah.

Girls were huge Hanson fans. Really? Yeah, girls were. Oh, my God. I mean, Eric. Jared, this was a fucking... I know, but was there such a thing as a Hanson fan, or was there just... I think they were kind of like OG boy band in a way. By the way, everyone is going to hate us for this.

People are going to have this fucking song stuck in their heads for the rest of the goddamn week. Good. We're going to get into next week. I would love to have this in my head. I can't wait to. This is the most catchy song of all time. Have you ever heard the acoustic? I don't think I have, Kevin.

Pull it up, Michael. It was recently, probably like a year or two ago, they kind of did like a little reunion thing. Yeah. And it goes. They're good singers. And they actually are pretty good looking guys. They have reasonable hair and they don't look like girls anymore. Yeah, see, I could never get with the long hair. We pulled a classic prank, basically, on...

Is this the acoustic? No. It sounded like the slow-down Satan version. We had a buddy who... All business, Pete. We would be listening to the acoustic if the internet worked. Oh, damn. Right under that bus.

We had a buddy who, when the music video came out, we were like, yo, that one is cute, right? Like, the middle one, she's sexy. And he was like, yeah, that one is cute, right? Like the middle one, she's sexy. And he was like, yeah, like she's real hot. And then we like had him going for a long time. We're like, that's a dude. It was like, it was classic prank. They were like super young too, right?

Yeah, but still, I mean, like you could tell they were dudes. It's like the live version. Yeah, it was like an in-studio listening type of thing. Yeah. And they just sat on three stool sessions. Yeah, it was like one of those. That song. Again, if you can't admit to yourself that you like that song, kill yourself.

I'll have to kill myself then. I feel like. Wait, you don't like Mbop? You don't like Mbop? No. Do not say that to me. Like, that's the wrong take. That's a hard-o thing to say.

We're talking about guilty pleasures. This is the whole fucking thing. You're not choosing to put it on your playlist, but at the same time, when that song comes on... Guilty pleasure is something that I would listen to and I would still listen to it. I've never once in my life chosen to listen to that song. Ever.

Dead. Ever. I know. And I have, honestly, I probably haven't either. Like, been like, ooh, I need to go listen to Mbop. But when it comes on, it's like, you're, if you don't necessarily, if you don't feel anything when that song comes on, like, you're dead inside. No, I'm not saying it doesn't make me feel something.

It's just not something that I would voluntarily put on. No, but I mean, it is like, it's a nostalgic song. I wasn't a Hanson fan. I couldn't probably name one other song that Hanson sings, but when that song comes on,

it's like, I remember the time period that it came out and like my friends that liked it and the school dances. I will say this. I think that might be the, well, maybe I'm speaking

a little too prematurely. Maybe the biggest one hit wonder ever. Because you literally can't name another Hanson song. That's true. One of my friends that went to school out on the West Coast, there was someone that was, like, shitting on the floor.

What? In the bathroom. Hold on. This ties into Mbop. So there was someone that was shitting on the floor in the bathroom all the time. I'm sorry, college is this? No, this is high school. High school.

Oh, my God. And so what they were doing was they played Mbop over the loudspeakers all day until someone admitted who it was. They wanted information or someone to come forward. Oh, first of all. And there was rallies. They were holding up signs that said, stop the bop. First of all. So there was rallies. They were doing, like, holding up signs that said, stop the bop.

And, this is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was. This is confirmed true? Yes. You know for a fact.

Yes. I mean, it was over 10 years ago, but yeah. So, like, the principal decided to do this. Yeah.

They were like, they played um bop over the speakers. This is like a torture tactic. I, if I was the floor shitter, we're listening to um bop to this day. I admitting that are you fucking kidding me that is that is some wild shit all around zach what do you got on guilty pleasures uh guilty pleasure you guys there oh yeah good deal guilty pleasure pleasures uh uh dial up Good deal Guilty Pleasure's Dial-up online wire internet

First downloaded song was Toxic by Britney Spears You know what's so You know what is funny First of all, great choice Second of all, phenomenal music video That like, the bodysuit The nude bodysuit

Third of all Your choice was Britney Spears Metallica What song, you remember? It was like so fucking crazy, so it was a mashup of one of the Garage Inc. songs and You Drive Me Crazy.

Amazing! That was mine! So this guy had Britney, you had Britney, and I had the Britney Spears, Drive Me Crazy, Stop Remix. This one, yeah, this is it! Is it Metallica? It's just like James Hetfield dropping in Fox in the middle of this song. This is not even a mashup.

This is not a mashup. No, it is. Stop this song and play this. It is. Does Britney sing over this? Yeah. Let it ride. What an awful mashup.

This is the first time. But that was the beauty of Napster. This is obviously not a real song. And it was like, you know what, Metallica, Britney Spears. I loved the stop remix. That was And it was like, you know, our Metallica for these. I love the, the stop remix. That was, I feel like mashups now, like the,

like back then it was just like, let's just like randomly like throw these tracks on top. Like I forgot how bad they were. But that's, now we're like fucking bangers. What sucks though is, you know, some like mashups and remixes are like made by like a DJ and it's like a real song.

Yeah. But because everything is now streaming and legitimate, a lot of those remixes, like made by like a DJ and it's like a real song. Yeah. But because everything is now streaming and legitimate, a lot of those remixes, like you can't get anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like Napster and shit used to be like, you can make it like you could have some kid making them at home that are

fucking good. And then you could download it illegally. And you had the song. Now it's like, if it's not on Apple, Spotify, it's not in the music industry. You can't get it.

It sucks. Have you heard the marshmallow remix of Adele's Hello? What? Oh, I can see that being. Oh, it's fire. By the way, Marshmello. It is so good. Walking around and singing with Deadmau5

with the fucking thing on your head is so ridiculous. Is it? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If it slows down a little bit and, like, she starts singing again, it's incredible. I could very much get down with this. I mean, it's amazing.

Taking Adele is almost like cheating if you're one of these DJs. It's like you got a very big head start with that girl. Yeah, no, the best part about this remix is it starts out like it's just her. You can hear it right now. It goes back to it, and it's like he just slowly... I mean, fuck with that. Yep. Reese from Texas.

I feel like we get a lot of Texas guys calling in. Texas forever. I think it's the Casey Smith effect. What do you got, Reese? So I got a story about my guilty pleasure. It's Love Fall by the Cardigans. I was running track in high school and started

humming the song and singing the song as I'm getting warmed up for a 200 meter dash. By the time I got ready to run the race, I had seven guys chasing after me, singing the song. Is it Love Fool, you said? I don't think I know.

Love Fool, yeah. I'm pulling it up right now to listen. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a great song. See, that's the thing about these two. If you don't know them, you don't know them. Yeah, like I feel like... Say that you love me.

I would bang this song out at a red light. I'd bang you to this song. Oh, damn. Oh, damn. So I have... I just thought about this. We were talking about things like you have to turn down at a red light. bang you to this song oh damn damn so i have i just thought about this we're talking about things like you have to turn down in a red light yeah when i first started driving and i was listening like i could get away from my parents and i could listen to like hardcore uncensored rap

i felt like i had to turn that down in a red light because i'm like a blonde little white blonde in a catholic school girl, like just listening to just like the DMX. So those are things you had to turn down. Now I'm like, I don't give a shit. But it's like back then it was like, oh, I'm like, I probably shouldn't play this at a red light. The funniest is when you start to have kids and you are still listening to your regular

music. And, you know, like I like Shay could fucking memorize that book. She picks up on a lot of shit. So I'm like, at what point do you have to start worrying about that? I have not yet done that. I remember there was one point when I was listening to Post Malone and 21 Savage and he's like, I've been popping pillies, fucking hoes like a rock star. And their mom was like, inappropriate.

Inappropriate. Let's put on Bubble Guppies. I was like, he doesn't know what popping pillies and fucking hoes mean. But if he repeated it. It might be be a problem they're like sponges like my godson i guess my my godson's dad was listening to comeback season in the car for a long time and it's like i mean we're swearing but it's nothing like horrible but he his son my godson started singing back god's plan because that's like the intro song to comeback season he was like, like he's actually like picking up and like there's nothing. You've got to watch out. Yeah, you've got to watch out on that.

He's like, who knows what he's been hearing Casey say and repeating or Johnny or whatever. I'm stunned I haven't heard an F-bomb in my house yet. What was the first parental advisory CD that you bought that your parents allowed you to buy? Oh, my parents didn't let me buy anything. Master P is the one I

snuck behind my parents back. How old are you? 26. Oh, shit. You't let me buy anything. Master P is the one I snuck behind my parents' back. How old are you? 26. Oh, shit. You're a baby, Mikey. I thought he was older than that. I thought you were like my age. What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck is that about? Lloyd Banks, I was like buying it for kids who needed fucking parental. Get the fuck out of here, Mikey. 26. The only cassette I ever had as a kid was Handsome Brothers. I'll tell you what. I was just saying how I ask Bob Fox for advice and shit like that.

Well, now that I know you're young, you're off the list, man. I'm not fucking asking you for shit anymore. You should have never admitted that. I don't trust you anymore. You're a baby. You don't know shit about this life. That is true. You don't know a fucking bitch about the world.

Preach. 26-year-old idiot. My across-the-street neighbor was three years older than me, so he was advanced in terms of the music that his parents would let him have, like the CDs. So I used to have to smuggle CDs across the street.

He would have the Korn CDs and the Limp Bizkit CDs, so I'd have to go get those. So I used to have to go get them, listen to them, and then bring them back. My next-door neighbor, he's five years older than me, and he introduced me to Master P. And my parents found Master P and CD-N.

And I was like, I don't know where I got this. I have no idea. We talked to little Romeo, Master P's son. And I mentioned it earlier this week. Master P was like a stand-up father, like teaching his son to remember his humble ways. It was like he has a golden tank. Literally a whole entire tank made of gold.

Make sure you stay humble. Those hard upbringings. Yo, Master P, too, was all independent. I don't think he owned his record label. So I think he just made, like, a billion dollars. That dude could also hoop. He got a contract from the Raptors. Did he really?

Yeah. He put out a million albums, too. Like, I feel like there's just album after album after album. I mean, he was responsible for Soak the Chalker and Mystical and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah, he's worth $200 million. He's no joke.

He's doing bad. And he could, like, I mean, he legit got a contract from an NBA team. Dude could ball. Uh, it's therapy session time for me and my guy Clem. It's not as bad as I originally thought it was going to be. Like I wrote a blog a week ago, eviscerating both teams for being so fucking stupid that, uh, that both sides could agree to a, such a trade, but there are prospects moving.

I think the Mets, the Mets are giving up their three and four top prospects. Yep. Meet the Mets. Meet the Mets. Step right out and trade your farm system. So this trade, I mean, Rosenthal just tweeted right now it's official. This has been going on for like five fucking days. I just want this to end so we can stop talking about it

because I just can't, Clem, I just can't take the eternal optimism, and it's always my problem with this fan base, the people who are like, I'm just going to choose to fucking be happy about it. Like, well, you can't do that. If it's good, you can be happy about it. If it's bad, you can't be. I can't stand the people who are like, well, you can't do that. It's just, if it's good, you can be happy about it. If it's bad, you can't be.

I can't stand the people who are like, well, let's just wait because the offseason's not done and we know more moves are coming. What? Why would you ever assume that? When have the Mets made a big splash early on and then kept going? They make their move. They appease their fan base. They have the dumb fucking young 18-year-old optimistic morons who are like, okay, here we go. And then they just don't do anything

because they've already made that crowd fucking happy. I like this. So... Fired up. I mean, so... The only time I kind of got on board with this is when somebody tweeted me and said, you gotta separate the two. If you take Bruce and Swarczak and you trade them for Robinson Cano, I'll do that.

Absolutely. Jay Bruce, he'll do that. Absolutely. Jay Bruce, he's the worst. He's right up there with Jason Bay. He's right up there with Michael Goddard. He's the worst. So good fucking riddance. Get the fuck out of here. And I'll take Robinson Cano.

I want him to do a little bit of steroids again. So that's kind of a big X factor. Like you said, that part of the deal, those two are going to die of natural causes under these contracts or whatever. For sure. So yeah, I'll swap bad ones for the guy who at least has a cool swing. Right? Done. Then on the other side, you're trading prospects for Diaz.

I'm okay with that, too. The Mets, I'm going to like, it sounds contradictory, but the Mets fans who are obsessed with these prospects, they need to jump off a goddamn bridge. I mean, I am so sick of every single prospect being the next goddamn Babe Ruth. What's his name? Kalanick? How do you say his name? See, I don't even know how to say his name because we all just got introduced to him like a week ago.

If you're one of these weirdos like Karabas, you knew everyone in the farm system. I get it. Good for you. You're a baseball nerd, and you know more than the rest of us. The normal fan, they just got introduced to this motherfucker, and they're like, you can't trade him. He's 19 years old he's guess what spoiler alert he's probably gonna suck too if you played for the Mets because everyone does well this is the fucked up thing about the way this trade all went down it couldn't have

just happened like it just came out and it was like boom it started with the Yankees are going to get Robinson Cano for Jacoby Ellsbury's dead body and it was like all right and then it's like oh no the Mets are gonna get in the mix and they get Robinson Cano. And for Edwin Diaz and Edwin Diaz and, you know, maybe some prospects, whatever. And then it became Kalanick, who then became the greatest player in the world. I mean, it's ridiculous the way they anointed him. Like, you fall in love with these guys. Like, you know, he's the sixth pick of the draft. And then White Sox Dave, who, you know, MLB insider.

MLB insider White Sox Dave. White Sox Dave has, for some reason. Don't. Hey, choose your next words carefully here. Kevin stood the fuck up. White Sox Dave apparently just every now and then goes to a minor league baseball game, and if he sees someone play, that's it. Oh, I've seen the kid play.

You don't want to trade him. He's the next big thing. Just because White Sox Dave went to the goddamn ballpark, got drunk, did the speed pitch, and threw 88 miles an hour, and then watches somebody play, doesn't mean they're going to be fucking good, Dave. Every single person he's seen play is good all of a sudden. It's true.

There's not enough respect being put on White Sox Dave. Me and him have an unspoken rivalry. D. Sucker, add it to the list. Me and White Sox Dave, we're about to have a full blown rivalry. He said you're not allowed to jump on the White Sox. I'm on the list. Yeah. The Sons of Arriba, which is anyone who's ever had Juan Arriba on their team. We are a united bunch. And the White Sox fans He's welcome. I'm on the list. Yeah. The Sons of Arriba, which is anyone who's ever had Juan Arriba on their

team. We are a united bunch. And the White Sox fans and Mets fans, we're the little brother in our respective towns. And we've always said White Sox, Dave, is like, come. It's like the Statue of Liberty. Bring your poor, your unsheltered. He's like, you guys can root for us the next few years when the rebuild is complete. And Kevin's

not allowed, though, because he's an asshole. Jared, White Sox Dave comes to me like, buddy, you are though. He's an asshole. Jared White Sox. Dave comes to me like, buddy, you are not going to get to root for the White Sox dynasty. Like, guess what? There probably isn't going to be one.

Dude, what are you talking about? It's like, it's like they're the most money that they've ever spent was like a $70 million deal on Jose Abreu. And now, and now they're like, Oh,

we're going to sign Manny Machado to a $300 million deal. He's talking to me as if it was like the Red Sox, like being like, yo, they're going to be, we're going to sign Manny Machado to a $300 million deal. He's talking to me as if it was like the Red Sox being like, yo, they're going to have – and you're not allowed to root for them. Then I'd be like, oh, no, I can't. They're going to win again. The White Sox stink like the goddamn Mets. That would be like me saying, you don't get to come to the parade. There's never going to fucking be one.

And those fans saying that they're going to sign the big name, that's like the Mets fans who say, we're going to – all right, that's what I said. Who the fuck is going to the south side of Chicago that's going to fucking be one. And those fans saying that they're going to sign the big name. That's like the Mets fans who say, we're going to. All right. That's what I said. Who the fuck is going to the south side of Chicago? That's going to be an impact player. Nobody. Nobody.

This is not going to happen. I'm sorry, Dave. I'm not arguing with this. But the thing is, the Robinson Cano thing. And then it became we're adding all our guys for. Now, this is the thing. We're Mets fans. And I'm the rational.

I'm more rational than you would have come to the Mets. No, I'm actually the most fucking rational. I just do it yelling. I'm the only one who's speaking the truth. This has been going on for fucking 35 straight years and nobody seems to acknowledge it. Well, let's just wait because they're going to make more moves. No, they're not.

No, they're not. Well, here's the thing. You said earlier that they're going to make their big move right now which is obviously like Edwin Diaz and Robinson Cano, but they are going to make another move. Yeah, but it's going to be minor. No, it's not. Yes, it is. They are going to trade Noah Syndergaard.

Syndergaard's getting dealt. Okay, so here's the thing. That, this, that gets to my point of why I have a problem with this trade. Well, because it's not going to be a move that makes you better. You might get some more prospects out of it. It also makes no sense if you're doing that. They made a move that's going for it. Yes also makes no sense if you're doing that. They made a move. They just made a win now.

Yes, they just made a win now move. Again, the pieces of that I don't have a problem with. Swapping bad contracts and getting Robinson Cano is not a bad deal. Getting Aaron Diaz, great. That means we're going to try to win in 2019. A, we shouldn't because we're not going to win in 2019. And B, you can't turn around and trade Noah Syndergaard, because that's a move planning for the future. So now there's no philosophy.

There's no logic going on here. This is just Brody Van fucking Waggonen deciding, I want to make a splash. I want to come in here and do something so that people respect me, or people get excited, and he's just making a move for the sake of making a fucking move. This is what my sports life has become. I just hate a different owner every season.

So I'm currently hating. I'm so busy hating the Maras for what the Giants have become. And Dolan's always Dolan. So I always hate his guts. And I forgot about the Wilpons. I've just let him out of my mind. But this is what it comes down to. The Wilpons, we did not.

I saw this on Twitter the other day. The Mets did not have a guaranteed contract on the books after this 2020 season. And now we go and add Robinson Cano's 40-year-old season. And that was the other thing. And they like it like that. Because then they say, oh, why can't we sign whoever the Bryce Harper is in two years? Because we're paying Robinson Cano. Because we have Robinson Cano's money.

Forgetting that we got money in this deal. We shed money in this deal. What's this money we shed? We signed last fucking offseason. Jay Bruce and Suarez were last offseason. And you know what they did? They do this every time, too. They floated that

$60 million number. That came out of fucking nowhere. And then it ends up being $20 million. Very conveniently, a third of what they said it was going to be.

And all of a sudden, fans are like, well, we're still getting money back. Well, no, it's not. It's $20 million. $20 million is like $0 right now.

That's nothing. Kevin is standing right now. He's been standing. Dave, good. Get that fucking idiot on the phone. I want to talk to that fucking moron. The He's been standing. Dave, good. Get that fucking idiot on the phone. I want to talk to that fucking moron. The idea, and they do this too.

So, Syndergaard may actually happen because you're right. There's been a lot of talk about that. But then I've also seen their, oh, we want Kluber. We're going to talk about Kluber. They do this. They're always in. Quote, unquote, we're in on these players. We're kicking the tires.

We're talking. And it's like, yeah, they do that all the time and then they never make the move. They trick these dumb simpleton fans into thinking, oh, hey, we're talking. And it's like, yeah, they do that all the time, and then they never make the move. They trick these dumb simpleton fans into thinking, oh, hey, we're active. We're trying. No, you're not. You got him. You got your man. You got Robinson Cano until he's 40 years old.

And he's 36, and he's coming off a steroid cycle. If he goes back on steroids, let's go. For sure. This is the thing at the end of the day. Even as the most optimistic Mets fan, when your big move is signing a 36-year-old second, getting a 36-year-old second baseman, making $25 million a year, and then a reliever who, by the way, did you see he fell in the draft? Because he has a bone spur on his elbow that they say has not been a problem yet.

And listen, if he played anywhere else, even maybe, Seattle's pretty cursed like the Mets too, but, so maybe, it's funny because it would have probably happened in Seattle too, but if he plays anywhere else in the world, those bone spurs, they're not a problem. He comes to New York. I guarantee you a surgery within six months. Cause that's just how it goes. A hundred percent.

Where's that moron. Hey, what's up? Idiot. It's white socks, Dave. Fuck you, Kevin. How come every single, uh, like every single minor baseball player you've ever seen is like, you're like, this kid's going to be the one.

Don't trade him. I've seen him. I've seen him with my own two eyes. He's great. I've seen this kid in, like, actual coaching capacities, practice. He's from basically Chicago. He's from right over the border. I swear to God I would have taken him with the first pick in the draft.

It's like I had any say in that sort of thing. Obviously, I don't, but he's absolutely electric in every sense of the word. But I mean, he's 19 years old. I understand that what he's shown is good so far, but I mean, how many incredible 19-year-old prospects have there been? The chances of that guy panning out are probably, there's a better chance of him not being the greatest than there is of him panning out the way you guys think he's going to i mean you got okay i i'm not saying he's gonna be bryce harper or anything close to that i know you have ptsd because he's you know he's in the he was in the met system rather but i mean this guy he can do it all he's got just every single tool you want in a

in a high school you know future, future first-round pick. I don't know what else... I'm just saying, like... You always say that. It's like... No, I don't always say that. I don't know... You watched him practice one time. To me, it's like we did this with Fernando Martinez. We did this with Last Things Village. We did this with Alex Escobar.

We do this with fucking Carlos Gomez. We do it with everybody, and I know every team does it but mets fans convince themselves of everybody i mean nobody was talking about this kid at all until a couple weeks ago that's my problem with the deal is that you have but you do have value right this guy is the sixth pick of the draft obviously he passes the white socks dave he has the white socks dave salmon people which means someone to me dave for the. I fucking believe in you. And if we're going to trade that guy, that guy has value. Go back and search my Twitter history from, like, prior to the draft.

I said, I want Jared Klinic with the third overall pick. I swear to God, I was saying that. Okay, let me ask you this before Clem gets back to his point. How many times have you been right on these? How many times have you said this on your Twitter and then you've gone back and he's like, oh, White Sox State was right. He turned into an all-star. I mean, how long have I been doing basketball for? Five, six years or whatever?

I mean, I'm on the record as I'm not crazy high on the Sox overall, fourth overall pick Nick Magical. He hit like 450 at Oregon State last year. I would have rather had Klenic than this kid who was first team of everything at Oregon State, the team that won it all. So it's not like I just sit there and jerk off every future prospect ever.

My problem is if you have the value of the sixth pick of this guy, it's like with Kazmir. If the Mets out on Kazmir, don't trade him for Victor Zambrano. I'm not saying Edwin Diaz is Victor Zambrano, but you have value with this guy, and I think moving him in a trade for a closer on a 70-win team is just a waste of time when your owners are not going to

then make the next move of signing a Machado, of signing a Harper, whatever. There's so many dummies who think they're going to do that. It's not going to fucking happen. I'll punch myself in the face for saying that the Wilpons don't even think about doing it. If they did it, would you be all right with the move then? Yeah, I mean, sure. If they're going to punch myself in the face for saying that the Wilpons don't even think about doing it. If they did it, would you be all right with the move then? Yeah, I mean, sure.

If they're going to go all in and try to win, fine, yes. But they're not going to do it. Agreed. So, like, I like the trade in theory, but in execution and being a fucking Mets fan that knows that Robin Zuccaro is not going to give a fuck about playing. Oh, he's going to. You've already seen some mail time. He is going to make Machado look like a fucking hustler. Yeah, he's going to take bets like you guys dare me to run down third base, you know, after I swing here.

He's going to do shit like that because, like, he didn't give a – all right, there was, like, the whole thing about did he care when he was with the Yankees. It's like if you didn't care playing with the Yankees. When they were in it. And it runs. Yeah. And shit like that. You're not going to give a fuck. And Citi Field is going to be empty.

And all the fans are just, like just fucking booing their own team. It's a vicious goddamn cycle. Dave, am I still on the list, meaning I can't come to the White Sox fucking dynasty? I'm literally going to put you on it as soon as I get off the phone with you. We're supposed to be the sons of Uribe. We're supposed to be

pulling for each other as the second team in each fan base in town. We're supposed to... Yes, Clem, do you agree? I agree. When a push comes to shove, I'll fucking root for you guys. Okay, let me, alright. You can't root for them when they play the Yankees.

Why didn't they just root for Bruce and whoever to offset salaries for Cano and Diaz? They didn't have to get the closer back. It's stupid. It's stupid. Yeah, I mean, that was where they got done with it.

That's where it became less of a salary dump and more of, like, trying to make a splash and make a move, and there's just no goddamn reason to do it right now. I mean, they could always turn around and flip Diaz, but... That's probably what... That's probably what. That's White Sox.

You can catch them on Redline Radio. You can download it now. Go give them a follow. They're talking all things Chicago sports. Dave, you're an idiot, and I appreciate you calling in, bud. Yeah, you're banned, and it's going on the list right now. On the list. You just made the list.

Thank you, bro. Clem, I just... I'm going to stop now because I could just do this for hours and hours on end. What do you think the odds are that they do flip DS? Because that would make a lot of sense. That would make a lot of sense. But do the Mets do things that make sense? Nope. No, because it all comes back to tickets and money.

But there's a new voice. There's a new voice there. They want to be able to put him on the fucking, like, program and on the tickets. We have the best young fucking closer in the goddamn blah, blah, blah. The whole thing is all just another Wilpon ploy. The fact that people can't see through that. What you said about James Dolan is so funny.

It's like LeBron James should win the MVP every year, but we just don't because we kind of get sick of it. It's like James Dolan is actually the worst of all time, but he's just always the worst, so we don't talk about it anymore. And let me just say this about our friends, the Mets. The fact that their GM is getting fucked because the deal he signed for his

client as an agent before being hired as GM, this will go down as one of the top ten, like, you're going to see it on a Bleacher Report fucking slideshow, top ten things that the Mets are dumb with, and this is going to be number three. Let's hit this break. We'll be back after. We'll get back to reality and I'll calm down, I promise.

Fancy the Rock. All right. I'm on the list. Straight out the fucking dungeons of rap. Where fake niggas don't make it back. I'm on the list. I don't know how to start this.