KFC Radio - Big Cat Agrees to Reality Show With Dave Portnoy and other OG Barstool Personalities - Full Episode

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

Big Cat Joins us for a little throwback to the old KFC Radio and to kick off our new ~ Barstool Mondays ~ - Being wrong about certain guests - Frank the Yank vs Frank the Tank and other sports talk - Conspiracy theory about Disney and Frozen - The Queen's death - Reality Show with the OG Barstool personalities - Dave being intimidating in the Milton office - turning down invites and getting rid of FOMO - Deer machete question - Video Voicemails - which bathroom do you sh*t in? - King Charles dealing with being king vs mom's death - Big Cat leaving KFCR - shower songs - what are you emotionally invested in? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ WhistlePig Whiskey: Get your bottle at https://barstool.link/WPKFC or at a local retailer. Dave: Download the Dave app from the App storeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Dude, remember, I laugh about this every now and then. It'll pop in my brain every now and then. It was HQ2, and I think it was right around the beginning, and it was when Kevin, Dave, and I were like, we were butting heads. Are you ready for the Are you ready for the Are you ready for the Alright, he's back. We asked who people want to start this new thing that we're going to do where we're having barstool people on KC Radio,

and there was no other choice. It was a shocking answer, shocking response. It was me? I was very surprised. I don't know. There's no other choice to do the first one Well I hit up fights and I was like Because once football season comes I think there's a feeling like

I'm so busy and I am very busy I'm doing a lot of shit but Also like I love this show So it's like yeah of course I want to come on I'll make time whatever It was a landslide there's a couple other people we're going to have on I think we'll get the next couple weeks all set up Every Monday

It was me or content Kim the landslide. There's a couple other people we're going to have on. I think we'll get the next couple weeks all set up. Fuck them. Every Monday. Yeah, it's all down. It was me or content Kim. That was what we were deciding between. She brings cookies, bro. You didn't bring anything. Yeah, that's true. I did not bring anything. Yeah, you know what?

Every Monday, whoever does come, don't come empty handed. Yes. Don't be an asshole like Dan. Jesus Christ, man. Bring gifts. What the fuck? I'm excited. Three times a week, though.

Yeah. Three times a week. Yeah Christ, man. Great gifts. What the fuck? I'm excited. Three times a week, though. Yeah. Three times a week. Yeah. It's what you do. We were talking about how we originally did two days a week because you guys did Monday, Tuesday, Monday, whatever. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. We did Tuesday, Thursday because there was only two podcasts.

That's crazy. There was a time with only two podcasts. Two podcasts. It's fucking crazy. It's nuts. I think if you told me there's 200, I would be like, that sounds a little high, but not that much. I think there's 100, right? And there's also like, yeah, like there was definitely a time when it was like, all right, these are the days.

Like, don't step on other days. And then I can't remember what moment it was, but I was like, I think it actually, no, maybe not even son of a boy dead. They were asking what day. And I was like, who cares? Who fucking cares? But you guys, like, so this week, because we're taping on friday this was labor day week we did tuesday and wednesday back-to-back days because we had to talk college football yeah and doing back-to-back days because i was saying it like i remember there was a time when pmt started people like we need

five days a week when we did back-to-back days we were just like halfway through the show on wednesday we're like yeah we have nothing nothing we talked about it all yesterday i think i could do five days a week uh i just think it's like diminishing returns show on Wednesday. We're like, yeah, we have nothing to talk about. We talked about it all yesterday. I think I could do five days a week. I just think it's like diminishing returns at some point. Where it's like unless. And your energy wouldn't be the same. Yeah. Like the only people, the only thing that you really listen to five days a week is like radio.

Right. And sports radio guys just take calls for fucking five hours a day. Forever. And just yell about the same topics over and over and over again. That's the only way you can talk for more than an hour every single day and still be interested and i don't know if you guys might be the same but like on the off days it's nice to not like be with like you know pft hank billy like to keep it fresh yeah you know what i mean like we don't talk about microphones in front of me we see each other we're like talking the office but we're not like because if you're in there every single day you you're like, okay, there's a lot.

Actually, we're going to rip this place up and do like a whole new thing, I think. Really? We went on – Change the feng shui? Yeah, we went on Ian Fidance's podcast. He's a comedian in Brooklyn, and he has a basement set up that's like just a couple like corduroy couches. Not corduroy, but like that material. It actually looks a lot like our new logo.

So it's like 70s vibe. And we sat on couches and we ripped cigs and just talked. And it was like so much fun. I'm waiting for someone to say something. Dude, here we go. You just been smoking in here? Yeah. Love it.

Because I feel like when we started, it was like, I still like this for what, I think if you're trying to do like a professional podcast and you have A-list celebrities and all that, this kind of thing is, you know, look at all these fucking things from our past, whatever. Now I'm just like, I just want to chill and hang out. And we were so much funnier just talking like, and I think, you know, you know what the best is?

I don't know if you do this a lot. We're like never guests on other shows. Yeah. Yeah. Being a guest on a show is fucking great. I just literally sit back and just take it way over the top. Yeah. I said the N-word three times. It was so much more fun. So I think we're going to tear up this, get rid of this.

We just don't have enough space in here. I know. That's what I was thinking about, maybe moving to another room. We just don't have enough space in here I know So that's what I was thinking about Maybe moving To another room But I don't know I do like the room But I feel like having A place where you can just like Chill on a couch

Sit on a chair Whatever Makes the vibe totally different If our studios Because our studios Is the exact same size If they were just Double the width

They'd be like It would just make Everything better It's the skinny Everything But they're still Demonstrably bigger Than every other studio we've ever been to. But that's like being the shortest midget.

Right, right. Okay, those, yo, the people who have to record in just those gray boxes. Yeah, I know. That sucks, bro. I know, I know. That's got to be hell on earth in there, bro. That does suck. It's so hot, and it's just all gunmetal gray.

The other day, the Anus Boys got bumped out of that coffin for Chris Clemmer, and I was like, you guys got to kill yourselves. This is like the first HQ2 a couple blocks away when we had one podcast studio. You remember the scheduling for that? I think actually it's an anniversary because, first of all, every single day at Barstool

there's some anniversary or something. Yeah, that's true. I love, too, day at Barstool, there's some anniversary or something. Yeah, that's true. But I think – I love, too, when people – when, like, some – you know, and obviously I love all the editors who work, like, a ton of hours. But they'll be like, yeah, today's my one-year anniversary. And they'll do, like, a tweet thread. And I'll be like, okay. Every day is somebody's one-year anniversary.

Yeah, right, right. Cool. It was that – it was this day in Barstool. Here's this day in Barstool. I think he posted a video Of Dave doing a tour Yeah Of the HQ2

September 9th 2016 Does he work for us? 2015 So yesterday in 2015 It's Mario I know it's Mario They totally fucked him They just made So yesterday in 2015. It's Mario. I know it's Mario. Oh, Inside Barstool?

They totally fucked him. They just made it. They saw this and they just made an identical account. Rather than hiring him and using this account. I was going to say, I heard recently someone was looking for that video. Yeah, yeah. And he was. So Mario does a great job with his Twitter account.

And I love stoolies that have been with us from day one, but they also scare me because they have more memory than I do of my own life. And they have shit bookmarked and ready to rock. He remembers shit. On deck. Like, here's that video. Dude, he remembers shit. I'm like, I don't even remember.

We were talking the other day. We were talking about Donnie Brasco. And halfway through talking about Donnie Brasco, Hank was like, yeah, we had Joe Pistone on the podcast. I was like, we did? Yeah. Wait, first of all, I don't know who Joe Pistone is. Donnie Brasco, Hank was like, yeah, we had Joe Pistone on the podcast. I was like, we did? Wait, first of all, I don't know who Joe Pistone is. Donnie Brasco.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the... I get that sometimes when we talk to guests on a show I like, and I'm like, dude, this scene, I don't remember that. What are you talking about? As a fan, you remember that shit. Dude, we were doing it with uh ravi patel when we were

in chicago and i was talking about like always sunny and he had a very brief cameo in always sunny and it's when when mac is talking about like the labor unions and he's like oh there's no legal recourse he's like how do you remember that like dude it's your one line How do you not remember So yeah he's like He's a walking memory for me Where I'm like I fucking don't remember any of this shit He posted this video of Dave just doing like a tour Of HQ2 I guess

And remember how big we thought it was We thought this shit was baller I still do by the way You will not when you look at this video I'm looking at all through Rosecoast lenses I love the old office But guess what I fucking hated the old office Look at this he's opening the door

To say like this is podcast studio B And I remember like thinking I wasn't like this is amazing But I was like wow And it looks so goddamn mediocre. Watch this. Yeah.

In that place. Dude, we. I mean, like that place. That shit sucks. It sucks. It sucks. I mean, look at that. That looks like an interrogation room.

It doesn't have the fucking sound. I know. It's like we waltz and then it gets official. Oh, you mean just a That looks like an interrogation room. It doesn't have the fucking soundproof. I know. It's on the walls and then it gets official. Oh, you mean just a strip of like asbestos filled padding? You guys don't at least have the fucking pipes in here. Like half the time in the winter when we're doing the podcast, it sounds like the Astros dugout. It's just banging, banging, banging.

You guys also have a seventh average. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a fire engine that goes by. It's like, all right. The tradeoff for that is this. I feel like I'm in a bomb shelter. Yeah, you are.

You guys are in a cave. No windows, no nothing. This is Hitler's bunker. Yeah. We'll all end up just eating cyanide in here one day. I think if you ask most of the people who work here, when was the last time you fought in the office? They'd say 2019.

We come right in. Hide in here, bro. This is what I've told Pete because he's starting to look for the chicago office i was like i just want space like if i have to commute that's fine i want a fucking basketball court like i want you wish remember when we went to long island city yeah to look at places yes they were that they were legit like fantasy factory yes there was one that already had a basketball hoop remember that yes i was like why yeah it was here before yeah but they i mean there we would have that was one of the original things that dave was talking about like rob deer deck and the fantasy factory and we would have had basketball hoops and trampolines and all that shit and sometimes

i wish we did but not for all that shit i just had bigger rooms i think we had all the fucking yeah that would be so much we needed yeah and that's the other thing we needed to be here to start but now we're at a point where like some of these yeah shows are big enough like your guys show ours like some other you know uh big podcasts here like people will come to us they know like that was the problem right we said we need to be near uh all the other like when you come to do the tonight show and you come to do some other appearance in Times Square and all that shit, you can just, like, peel off the partial. But I'll say that, like, we're nobodies, and when we have to go do a show in Brooklyn

or DiStefano out in Staten Island, I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. You've got to have a place in Manhattan. No, it's true. But also, if I showed up and it was, like, a goddamn fun house, I'd be like, oh, I get it. And that's what I was like when we're looking at offices for Chicago. I was like, look, obviously, there's probably less guests that go. There are less guests that go through Chicago than L.A. or New York. But if you make it big enough and we're big enough, people who go to the city will be like, I have to go there.

That's a destination. Right, exactly. You're going to be top dog. It becomes like, we're not Jimmy Fallon, but it's like, oh, we're here. We got to go there. I mean, yeah, you will be the media stop in Chicago, I imagine, right? Yeah, I mean, there's sports radio

and stuff, right? So I think we'll be able to capture almost the same amount of people just because like, hey, if you're here, you hit us up. I'm also just fucking done with guests, man. I don't care anymore. Really? Come do the show.

Don't come do the show. I don't care. So I go back and forth. I do love interviewing people and I love when an interview hits, but there are definitely times where it's like, we'll agree to someone

and then it will pop up on the calendar and be like, wait, what? Fuck, I did that. The interviews that hit, like real, like for being totally honest, they're the best, but they're one in a blue. Yeah, no, they're I did that. The interviews that hit, like real, like for being totally honest. They're the best, but they're one in a blue.

Yeah, no, they're hard to do. Maybe 10%. No, we had like Jules was here. Julian Allen was here. He watches like probably once a month in the fall. He watches Thursday Night Football with us, and then we start the show with him. That's so much better than an interview because it's not like we're just talking football with a guy who fucking won Super Bowl.

So it's like you get like a guy who we're friends with, but also he can speak on expertise. Well, I also, again, to reference this podcast we did yesterday, like where it was, it's a very, it's very easy to get caught up in like doing an interview and like hosting an interview and having a guest when it really should just be like you're hanging out with the person. And you've got to find the right guy or girl or just guest in general that you can just hang with and not be like, hello, thank you for coming. Let me ask you the questions. What are you promoting? Blah, blah, blah.

But when it's not that vibe, it's awesome. But it's hard to capture that. Right. So my big, like the math that I've got in my head through the years of doing it is like you got to have one big guest a month. Because the way I look at it is people are here to listen to you guys. People are here to listen to me and PFT. The one big guest brings in some new audience and then they're like, oh, these guys are funny.

I'm staying. I never thought about it like that. I never really gave much. Because you get guests to me are not the show. It's bringing in new, like when we interview like, you know, get guests to me are not the show it's bringing in yeah new art like when we when we interview like you know obviously rogers was a huge was a huge guest but like let's even say luke fickle the cincinnati head coach like if you interview the cincinnati head coach i guarantee you there's a thousand cincinnati fans that are like oh our coach is on this podcast

let me go check it out and then they're like like, oh, these guys are funny. Right. And then you just do that accumulating over the years. So to me, it's not like you need a home run every time. You just need it once in a while. I think that it works with sports. Yeah. And I do think it works with comedy. I think it definitely works in comedy.

Where comedians go on shows. Stav was like one of our biggest guests this summer. Yeah. It's that other, like, that middle ground of entertainment where it's like, are there diehard fans of this specific actor that follow him? I guess there are. I guess there are people who are like, I love Mark Wahlberg

so I'll watch anything he's on and then, oh, those guys were funny. But sometimes I think it's like, you just gotta do it to keep up with the Jones. You gotta keep up with the Jones and then there's also the element of like, you have to take shots because you don't know who you're going to click with. Like Jerry O'Connell has become like a recurring. He's like a must listen.

I get so excited when we're about to do a Jerry O'Connell interview because he's like, he like preps for it and he's very funny. And it's like, we never would have had this relationship if we didn't say yes to a guy who, you know, maybe not like, I was just like i

love stand by me so let's have him on yeah but like that's not someone that would have jumped off the page the first time and now he's become like a legit friend it is so fun when you randomly do it with like i just want to meet this person because i love the show they did when they were nine years yeah oh yeah oh yeah big time yeah i'll do like i love this thing within 30 years ago let's do it yeah like i have one question for you i'll figure out the other question but i have one question yeah i want a picture and out the other question, but I have one question for you. Yeah, I want a picture and I need you to clear up one.

But that's because, you know, when you're like eight years old or whatever, you're just, you're satisfying like your childhood dream. Right, right. Whenever a cast member

of Criminal Minds comes on the guest list, they get highlighted. I'll tell you that. I would say that Shamar Moore? Hell yeah. No.

No, I can't wait for the Shamar Moore interview. I'm going to be sick that day. Shout out to Shamar. I think it's like, I think guests are like nights of going out. It's always the nights that you're like, I'm not going out. I don't want to go out. And then you get talked into it and it's like, wow, that was the best night ever. Yeah, that was good.

And there are plenty of guests where I've been kind of an asshole about it, kind of like, I don't know. I don't know if you're big enough or whatever. And then I'm like, thank God we said yes, because that was the best interview we've done. Right. And I mean, shout out to Kelly and Peggy, who they kind of push us sometimes, and I appreciate that.

Because if I didn't get pushed, I would just be like, no, we're just going to have the people we know on every time. I'm so easily walked over. I'll say a hard no to a guest, and Kelly will go, are you sure? And I'm like, you're absolutely right, yes. Our problem is we say yes at different times, and then it won't happen for five months. That's also like going out. When you agree to go out for a night on Monday, and then it's Saturday night, you're like, I don't want to go out.

We'll say yes to someone in June, and then in November, we'll be like, well, we got football and we really don't want to interview them, but they always end up being better than we expect. We almost, no, I shouldn't even say this. It's not that we almost said no, but I remember when we first had Chris DiStefano in. Yeah. I was kind of like, I don't really know. I don't know his work, but he's a comic.

Dude, we said no. And it was like, I mean, opened up a door with, you know, I think the most naturally funny guy in the game right now. Right. You know who we said no to first for a while? I don't even know why. It's probably a football season thing. We said no to Bert for like six months.

Oh, my God. Because we were just in football season. Then we finally had a moment. We're like, wait, we're idiots. That's fucking hilarious. You don't even have to do a show. You can just fucking all right let's go hey burt and then yeah it's like podcast it's a cheat code yeah yeah no it's uh it's a you know you gotta play it but it is also crazy when we like when you take a step back, because I know it's fun talking to you

guys, because I think there's only a few of us who can have the full perspective of the fact that we're saying no to some people where 10 years ago we would have literally... Dude, Cutler was the biggest thing we've ever done. I still think that was like... Oh, Cutler. Hell yeah. Cutler was like... Ridiculous sweater, Jay.

Ridiculous sweater. And he gave us like an hour of his time. And he said, no. He was like, I don't want Dave on the show. He was like, I'm a fan of KFC radio. I remember being like, well, that's going to either blow up my job or this interview or I don't know how we're going to get around this. But it was sick because it was the first time someone was like, no, I'm a fan of you guys.

Man, you know, it would have just been incredible. Like, it got so weird because, you know, we got big enough and you got to cover the sports kind of honestly. And, like, if he just had, like, a Hall of Fame, multiple Super Bowl career, like, would we have just had access? Like, I guess if he got, like, on Brady's level, he couldn't be dicking around with us. But I don't know.

Maybe he would have. What if he had, like, five Super Bowls and he would just come on KFC Radio once a month and just be like what's up guys i think he would have and he also taught me a great lesson of like because i became real friends with him and like went to his bachelor party went to his wedding like he froze me out for like five years but whatever that he does that to like everyone um but we're back we're back we talk now and we're good um but it it's funny to think about like a guy like that and the lesson i learned of like i remember defending him so hard and not realizing like all you have to do

is just be like yeah i'm biased yeah you know what i mean like yeah like people will bash our friends with him yeah right i'm gonna treat him better than the guy i'm not right like people will bash like bordles or blake griffin i'd, guess what? I'm not bashing him because I love those guys. It's like, what are you going to do? It's completely understandable. And also people who are fans of it appreciate the Homer stuff. Yeah, no, right. But I was always like, early days, you're stuck in that spot where it's like,

the offensive line sucks. You've got no receivers. At some point, you can't be like, blatantly, this guy is yellow. But I could have. If I had done it again, I would have. No, you can't if you admit it. Right. Like if you're trying to be like a sports analyst and you're like, no, no, no, I think he's still a franchise quarterback.

It's like, come on. But if you just say like, yeah, no. He's my friend, and I'm going to just say that he's good. I'm going to say every interception is someone else's fault. As a fan of the Bruins, Jack Edwards is our guy. Jack Edwards is the most... Big time homer.

Dude, Jack Edwards accuses opposing players of rape. I love those fucking hometown guys who are just like... It is... I've gotten in fist fights

about Jack Edwards. Yeah. When I was in college, we had the NHL package and my roommate was a fan of the Dallas Stars and he'd be like, this guy is the worst. He sucks.

I'd be like, you're the worst, and you suck. I'm like, shut your fucking mouth. And then we'd end up fighting each other. No, dude, that's like Hawk Harrelson, who doesn't call the White Sox anymore. You can put it on the boys. Yeah, I don't like the White Sox, but I always respected, like, he did not care. He would be rooting. He'd be like, a ball would be hit to the foul pole line.

He'd be like, stay fair would be hit to the foul pole line. He'd be like, stay fair. Please stay fair. Stay fair. John Sterling in New York is the fucking king. Oh, yes. I mean, him and Susan Waldman are like the worst radio duo ever, but they're the best because of him. Yeah.

Your season's falling apart. Frank was right. It's one of the more crazy things. I don't even know how To approach it anymore I'm like they're gonna win 104 games And you guys are telling me they're

Pathetic people are using words like that What the third best record in baseball Yeah But that's what I mean This might be the craziest of all time The Braves never lose But they're the third best team in baseball, and people are saying that it's unacceptable and pathetic

and that it's all over. Yeah, that's brutal. Because they are very, very good. It's just they happen to have a really good team in their division. Yes, but that's okay. And the Dodgers are in the NL. Right, and so the Dodgers are like a cut above. I actually think either the Mets or the Braves are better

for the postseason the dodgers but like it's why is i'm trying to think of a like a you know and i guess it's different because the divisions but like in the nba if the one seed and the two seed in the eastern conference are like battling neck and neck nobody even cares yeah okay those two guys are awesome like whatever and it just that's how it goes sometimes. That's like the Cubs in 15 when they went – I think the Cardinals won 103 games or something. Pirates won 98. Cubs won 97. Cubs bounced the Pirates.

Yeah, it's like this isn't fair. That was the Arietta game, right? Yeah, or what about the Dodgers last year? Dodgers and Giants. And Giants last year. I think the Dodgers had 107 wins. I mean, it just happens. And the worst thing is the Dodgers and Giants did it in, I think, 93 or 92, 91.

That's what made the wild card happen. Right, right. Because there was a team, they won like 106 games and didn't make the playoffs. Right, right. That's crazy. Do you imagine rooting for a team that had 106 games and you didn't make the playoffs? It'd drive you nuts. So they were like, we need to fix this with a wild card.

Okay, so Frank wasn't right yet. I love Frank the Yank, too. I was just going to say, when you put me onto him. I'm on Frank the Yank. Dude, and it's a parody, right? Yeah. Yeah, and Frank the Yank

and Frank the Tank sometimes talk to each other and it's so fucking funny. How about this? It's like that video of two babies in a diaper just yelling gibberish at each other.

Yeah, for people who don't know, Frank the Yank is a Yankees And it's so fucking funny. How about this? It's like that video of two babies in a diaper just yelling gibberish. Yeah. People who don't know, Frank the Ink is a Yankees parody of Frank the Tank. I want to meet that guy. And he's so funny. And they'll get in conversations and they'll just be agreeing with each other like, yeah, New Jersey Transit is the worst. But for one of them to not understand that the other one is a parody is unbelievable. It's great. I, when we went to the city the other day, uh,

like the head of PR, uh, he is like a, a diehard Homer for the Mets. And so we started talking about that and how I've been trying to like fight the, the good fight for the fans. And, and he,

as we talked about, it said that there's a few guys in the clubhouse who are like aware of Frank, the tech, of course. And I'm like, it makes me want to puke. But it said that there's a few guys in the clubhouse who are aware of Frank the Tech. Of course. And I'm like, it makes me want to puke that there is a professional athlete on a very good team. So all of these guys are at least pretty good to be honest. Getting innings on the best team in baseball. I'm going to say the pretty is under.

But even the 25th man. pretty is under... It's an under description. That they even for one millisecond think about Frank fucking Fleming. Like, fuck. Dude, Edwin Diaz probably looks... Edwin Diaz looks in the mirror every day. He's like, you're not Ed Lew's team. You can do this.

What do you think about... So right now, Jerry Seinfeld and Boomer Esiason. Did you see Jerry's kith? I'm sure you guys talked about that. Yes, yes. We talked about it. John loves him. Jerry's getting fits off. Jerry, he loves it.

Right, but. Yeah, right. End of conversation, period. Kind of looks like he might show up to a high school and like, Jerry has had some stuff in the past. I'm not a kith fan, so I'm not typically like a kith guy But also, Jerry doesn't need the Kith to show up to a high school. Yeah, right. That's true.

That's true. I think Jerry's got a couple of 16ers back in the day. He is literally like the Steve Buscemi, like, what's up, kids? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But these are fits. Yeah, no, he is. He objectively looks good. I think it's the opposite. I think it

subjectively looks good. I think it's because it's Jerry Seinfeld. If that's a regular dad, if that's another guy of the same age as him, you would be like you're a try-hard loser. Yeah, for sure, but they're not Jerry Seinfeld. That's not objectively, then. It's like subjectively.

It's like there's a part of this that's... Well, I don't know the definition of words. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, that one – If that's not Jerry, you're like – You look like a dork. Let me tell you the difference between Whistlepig and everybody else. I got a text from Jason, and he said,

I just watched your One Minute Man on John Daly, and I loved it. And that's the kind of guy he is. He's a John Daly kind of guy. He's a John Daly kind of guy. He's a John Daly kind of guy. He's a one minute kind of guy. He's the kind of guy who would text me to tell me he enjoyed it. He said he's going to be at the up fronts. Can't wait to see me.

And he's the type of guy who offers up his fucking beautiful Vermont farm to us to go hang out. Also provides us with tons and tons of whiskey. Both rye and bourbon. We don't really record on Fridays very often so might as well have a drink at noon. I was going to say. What time is it?

Two? It is 1.05. Okay. That's fine. Close enough, dude. Also, the maple syrup. I'm going to take a hit of that, and you've got to hit the maple syrup. Here's the deal.

Kevin sells the maple syrup a lot, and Kevin's the guy you listen to about the maple syrup stuff. I'm the guy you listen to about whiskey stuff. So we're perfect. We're telling you. They're both fucking yeah give yourself an old-fashioned right now this is a maple syrup old fat no you swallowed it you gotta there you go yeah yeah i swallowed shit dog uh the old-fashioned uh the old-fashioned maple oh i made my nipples hard it's good It's good. It's good.

The maple syrup, old-fashioned. Yeah. Can I have a touch? You can kind of do it. Wait, where's your nipple? There it is. You got low nipples. I got nips.

Dude, my nips fucking bang out, dude. Okay, wait. I don't have them. You can't see them. Oh, no. I'm just an assassin. Don't pinch them. Just touch them.

I don't trust you now. I don't trust you now. You should have touched them. I'm going to pinch the fuck out of them. Fuck! No, I'm not going to pinch them. Oh, you now You should trust me I'm gonna pinch the fuck out of him Fuck No I'm not gonna pinch it Yeah you got it You got it That was

That was cool You are an assassin Zeroed right in Dude Fucking middle school bro I learned how to Fucking spot a nip Like that dude

Dude like that bro Also we're still big In the kind of guys Who would allow this In their ad reads So continue Yeah Middle school was dangerous

Because it was either It was In the hallways We had an obsession With hugging The opposite sex So like every girl I'd hug

Like What are you shaking your head Yeah for what Yeah no we did the same thing I got jacked up dude Every fucking In between classes I'd be like

I'm gonna go hug Bethany Right now This is gonna be sad dude She'd have her pink Gap sweatshirt on I'm going to go hug Bethany right now. This is going to be sad, dude. She'd have her pink gap sweatshirt on. I'm recalling a very distinct memory. One time, you rubbed the nipples of some chick in middle school. No, no, no, because it wasn't her nipples.

I was looking for guy nipples. Silly of me to ever assume. The girls I would hug, the girls we'd hug, but the guys, we'd grab each other's nipples or punch each other in the penis. You know what that's called? That's just called living. Yeah. That's just called being a guy in middle school.

So you'd be like, in between classes, you'd be like, all right, I'm going to go fucking hug some chicks right now, but also I got to watch out because my boy's going to try and punch me in the cock. Like it was. I hate on a dribble. You'd open yourself up. You'd be like, hey. And then you're, ah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a fucking, I heard Vietnam was tough, but fall over middle schools were pretty difficult too. I was going to say, that was when life was easy, but it wasn't easy. No. It was like head on a swivel. No, always.

And then we got introduced to the world of alcohol as we got older. Great job. And even that, no, when you get introduced to the world of alcohol, you kind of lose a little bit of that innocence and that fun, oh, I just want to hug Bethany and that's all that matters. But then something like Whistlepig comes back around where you take some interest in it.

You love drinking it. You love making new cocktails with it. You love learning about it. Like I love – Just hanging out with the boys, telling stories about middle school. Honestly, I love like when we go to the farm, Whistlepig, and like they're showing me the fucking seeds and seeds and stuff the rye and i'm like i'm actually interested in this Yeah, yeah, like you take an interest in in what you're actually drinking instead of just you know, drinking at the party Uh, so whether you are partying or sipping it

Uh, whether you're a casual fan or part of like the whistle pig What what's what should we call the whistle pig like army if you will, you know, like what's it? What's a pig the pig pen? Uh pig pens good What's a pig pen? Pig pen's good By the way I was going to start doing that What was that about? I was going to start doing an oink And then I just aborted that and had an actual conversation I was like I was slow oinking

What if we said What if we said like Shout out to the pig pen And then you go The hog car It hurts though It's the pig pen I like the pig pen. And then you go. The hog call. What was we going to do? A wee, right? Yeah.

So, yeah, it's the pig pen. I like the pig pen a lot. We're doing the pig pen. And we have hog calls to the pig pen. Right. Yee-yee-yee-yee. You can get yours at shop.whistlepig.com or check out your local liquor store. But have it delivered right to you at shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com.

Hey, speaking of definitional words, can I give you a fun fact? Yeah. How fun could it be if we're talking about the definitions of words? Since, like, I forget the exact year, so I'm not going to say it. Literally has not meant, like, you know how people talk about how millennials ruin literally? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not literal. Yeah.

That's been the definition of literally since, a long long time ago what do you mean uh i'm gonna look it up like because i know basically figuratively i know that they changed like they're i think on like the definition there's like a note that's kind of like but that's not culture we now use it backwards basically that that was recent no no it wasn't recent i have a fun fact for you guys too that i that I found the other day. What's the name of the dictionary? Webster's. Webster's. This is a fun fact.

You'll like this, Kevin. Conspiracy theory, Disney made the Frozen franchise. I believe that. I think that they were going to make the movie. I think they called it Frozen. Frozen, so that when you Google it, it's not Walt Disney Frozen. It kind of makes sense, but not really. There was a million things

You could have named it And I really believe that Yes I do too Because that's just Two birds with one stone Yeah And it works by the way

Every time you google Frozen It's not Walt Disney And his weirdo fucking Was he 250 years Was Walt Disney a Nazi I think so Yeah

Oh yeah Nazi adjacent Yeah I don't know what 250 years ago was But that year Is when they changed it So

I follow Merriam-Webster On Twitter Okay so 250 years ago I don't know what 250 years ago was But that year is when they changed it I follow Merriam-Webster on Twitter Okay so 250 years ago By the way I struggle with Like Was that guy a Nazi? Queen Elizabeth died R.I.P Are you pro-queen or anti-queen? I don't give a fuck

It was like There's very few times someone dies where you can punch up. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, we can get our jokes off. Yeah. Well, so I think that, too. And I am getting flooded right now. Really?

Yeah. I mean, she was 96. She was 96. We knew it was coming eventually. She also, like, I don't know. She just, yeah, we knew it was going to happen eventually. I'm going to defend the queen a little bit. I think she gets a bad rep for the whole colonization thing. I don't think she had anything to do with it.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think that's on her. That was my grandfather. I think Queen Elizabeth I maybe was a problem. Also, I do not know about history at all, so maybe she did have a history. Well, that was my point. When she died, I think Kelly might have said something, and she's a big queen person. Oh, my God.

Kelly's having a meltdown. I was like, wasn't her husband a Nazi? And she's like, I don't think so. I was like, yeah, maybe not. It's a coin flip for any white guy involved in Europe in that era. Coin flip. I think I'm going to defend him again.

I think if they were Nazis, they would have been like, let's link up. And let's have a world war. But put it this way. Nobody is a good guy when you're talking about monarchs or the billionaires or the politicians. They're all bad people. It's also just – Her son is Prince Andrew, who is an absolute pedophile.

So she's been hiding him with her money and hiding him criminally for years. So that's not good. She might have killed Princess Diana. If there was a hit out on Princess Di, she at least knew about it. So those are the bad things. Also, they kind of were like, hey, Meghan Markle, we don't want you here.

So here's the thing. I will tweet that about how Meghan Markle was called back to Scotland to receive the gift of the last slur uttered by the Queen? And Markle would be the first non-Irish person to receive such an honor. That's perfect. Before I did One Minute Man, I googled Queen scandals because I didn't know if there was a blatant like I did invade this fucking like town in Africa and like slaughter them or something. All of the scandals, it was like Princess Andrew and the rumor about Princess Di were like the big things.

The rest was like Harry being like a Nazi party in Vegas. It was like other people's scandals that like she was attached to but I'm saying if you were if you're the head of anything for 70 years and you have hundreds

of millions of dollars and your only scandals are basically like your kids doing shit your kids are shitheads which makes sense yeah my kids did coke in Vegas while wearing a swastika outfit

no big deal no big deal no she seemed she actually you're right she like she seemed like a nice person she just oh I don't know're right. She like, she seemed like a nice person. She just, oh, I don't know about nice, but she just.

No, she seemed like a nice person. I don't know if I ever heard her talk. She just, I don't think I have either. She just kind of sat there. Yeah. And that's what the queen's supposed to do. And she did it for fucking 70 years. Yeah.

And never once was like, fuck this, I'm out. I'm going to do whatever. I just didn't like all the. You're 25 and you have to be the face of an empire? Crazy. I just didn't like the British people telling us like we can't get our jokes on. Oh, yeah. That's what made me double down on it.

Yeah. There was one guy who was like, you like Americans won't understand. Like, this is she's like our cultural grandmother. Like, and I was like, dude, we lost John Madden. Yeah, we lost John Madden nine months ago. We know. We have a lot of those. We understand.

I got. I saw there was a serious tweet being like, this is our 9-11. It's like this. Oh, no. did you see that 9-11 thing that fucking the like restaurant in virginia i think no oh there's always one of those bro no this is the best one i didn't even realize holiday ended like half off muffins yeah that was 9-11 No, it was for half an hour, man. Yeah, for half an hour. For like 9.30 to 10 o'clock. That was the fucking... Patriot, this thing? Yes. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

It's called 2,977 Chowder. Top left. Oh, it's a challenge? No, no, no. Chowder. That's how many people died. Oh, my God. Wait, what?

Dude. That's crazy talent. It is unbelievable. All right, so this is obviously in terrible, terrible taste. But if I die in a tragic way and you want to make a food item off me, I'm okay with it. But these people probably aren't, but I am. The Never Forget Sampler? Yeah.

The Never Forget Sampler. Does that say Flight 93 Benedict? That says Flight 93 Benedict crab dip? Remember Teenie. Redirect. Flight 93 Redirect. Oh, my God. I can't read anything anymore.

This is crazy. No, but down in the bottom, the sampler says Flight 93. Oh, yeah. Redirect crab dip. Holy fuck. It is. First Responder Shrimp. Freedom Flounder actually is kind of good.

That rolls off the tongue. Three slices of Pentagon Pie? I kind of like the Remember Teenie. It's like you drink enough of them, you won't. Yeah, right. The Remember Teenie is the exact opposite of what you mean to do when you drink Teenie. How about my favorite, just straight up 9-11 oysters? What is that?

They ran out of puns. They were just like, all right, plug it, 9-11 oysters. But this, I mean, obviously is in poor taste, but our, I mean, people. Oh, yeah, no, people. This all looks delicious. Dude, I'd eat the fuck out of all this. I got it. I would have, actually, not the chowder.

I would not eat the chowder. The chowder is a bit much. I draw the line. 2,977. Also, by the way, I did think we hit 3,000. So did I. I thought 2,977 seems low

We should probably round up And give it the three Well also like Everyone who got Fucking cancer from Right I mean the numbers still The numbers still

Still rock up Yeah Yeah Nope there it is 2,977 That stuff always blows my mind When it's like What are you doing

I'm just laughing That's actually what the challenge is about Yeah I'd seen it rumored Now that I'm seeing it on. That's actually what the chowder was about. Yeah. I'd seen it rumored. Now that I'm seeing it on Wikipedia, that's definitively the amount of people who died. That is fucking nuts.

That's crazy. I got to admit, I guess, you know, hashtag I did forget. Like 9-11 is just in a couple days. Sunday, yeah. Yeah, I was like, oh, fuck, it crept up on me. Yeah.

I'm starting to forget. I did not forget. Oh, okay, Mr. Fucking Laugh at the fucking casualties. Now you're trying to be some hero. Mr. Underwhelmed by the amount who died. Okay, you got to change subjects. I'll change subjects.

How annoying is it for you, come football season? Because last night, even just watching that game, I was like, oh, fuck, that's right. I have to prepare for four months of celebrities telling me to gamble yeah yeah like kevin hart kevin hart told me about a different company a thousand times well dude that's i actually love that because that's where we're gonna like win because they're just all these other sports books are spending so much money on these guys who don't gamble for advertisement that gets shoved down your throat.

And yeah, I know that people listening right now be like, you guys shove it down. Yeah, of course. You know, we're talking about it, but we're doing it right. Dave and I have always done it. It's the opposite of what you said about guests where people are like, oh, I like this person, so I'm going to listen to this show and then I'll follow that show. Nobody's like, ah, Kevin Hart. I wasn't going to gamble, but Kevin Hart told me today,

so I'm going to place it back. J.B. Smoove. Oh, man. I guess there's something to just numbers. You're going to reach the most amount of people. But it's similar to what it was, whatever it was, six, seven years ago when the Daily Fantasy started. And people were like, this is too much.

It's shoved down every commercial. That was bananas. I actually like those commercials because, yeah, again, we obviously talk about it it's shoved down at, like, every commercial. That was bananas. So, like, we, I actually like those commercials because, like, yeah, again, we obviously talk about it a lot, so people be like, Big Cat, what the fuck

are you saying? You always talk about it. We're talking about it naturally, and we're also not commercials every two seconds on an NFL broadcast. Yeah. No, that's why I asked you.

It's something you genuinely, and there are also, like, the new game, like, last night I tweeted that I was at the bar for a weird reason, and I, like, I was also, like, the new – like, last night I tweeted that. I was at the bar for a weird reason. And I, like – I was just, like – it was a pretty quiet bar. I started clapping for – I think it was the Rams first down.

I bet the Rams every way last night. Nice. Lost. Nice start to the season. Shit. He actually sent a clip that when we had Matthew Stafford's wife on being, like, can we, like, dig up the clip of her saying XYZ for when Stafford scores tonight or when the Rams win or whatever, and he proceeded to not score again

and throw about 1,000 picks. Me and the guy sitting next to me both started clapping. It was like a first down towards the end of the first half. And I was like, oh, you won the Rams too? And he was like, no, I'm rooting for both teams. He might have had the over. No, see, everyone started yelling at me, like, what are you, an idiot? I was like, dude, I was talking to him.

I assure you it wasn't an over situation. This guy just likes both teams. How about this? I got to get your opinions on this. So Meek Phil, weirdo baseball savant on We Gotta Believe. Weirdo, period. He's great at his job, but he is a weirdo baseball savant on We Gotta Believe. Weirdo, period. He's great at his job, but he is a weirdo. The other day he says to me,

I watch every single Pirates game. What? I don't think that sentence has ever been uttered in the last decade by anybody. Even Pirates fans, he just goes, I watch them every night. Why? He watches the Mets. He has multiple screens, and the Pirates always get one of them.

Is he a big O'Neal Cruz guy? I think. I mean, he's got to be if he's a big Pirates fan. Oh, you've got to check him out. You know O'Neal. He's 6'7", fucking shortstop. He's going to be the future. Get on O'Neal Cruz now because someone who I trust who knows baseball very well,

and this is going to sound like a crazy thing to say, but he said there's a half a percent chance that Neil Cruz could be the best player of all time. I can believe it. Which is crazy to say because you're like, wait, what about... I have never heard this. Dude, he's like 6'7". He's 6'7".

He throws... He throws at 100 miles an hour from the first stop. Across the diamond and he hits bombs. Right now, he's batting like... It's crazy. He's batting like 200's crazy batting like 200 right now so like but every home run everything he hits is insane insane is he a rookie uh he played a little bit last year so i think this is his rookie season okay okay yeah yeah i'm gonna

give myself some grace i think it's like 218 yeah i'm not not a great batting average He's 6'7 dude He's skinny He's so fast When he does do things right It's crazy But I do think it's going to go one way or the other Where he might be one of these guys who bats 200 And hits home runs

Or he could be like I said does he not have anybody in his life Who said go be a point forward Or go be a wide receiver? What is this guy doing playing fucking baseball? Yeah, although being a wide, I would rather be baseball or basketball than football. Just money-wise. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, it's getting close these days. Watch. You'll love this, John. As a guy who loves arms, go back. Pass. Yeah, so I got on him. It might have actually. Is this the Cubs game?

Yes, yes. This is the game. I was watching this game. It looks like the ball gets fast forward. Wait, why was that so close? Who was running? Dude. Well, because he purposely takes his time, and then he fucking zaps.

I was watching this game. The Cubs have been terrible this year, so they've gotten third TV status, so no sound. And I was watching this game, and I saw that throw, and my eyes went... I was like, whoa, what was that? It's like when Tyreek Hill's running, and you're like, that's faster than it should be. The ball goes faster than it should. It's nuts. So wait, anyway, Meek, I 100% understand it from a money point of view

and a gambling point of view, but he bet on the Braves to win the NL East. I hate that. I hate that. Let me tell you, the odds right now are nuts. At one point, the Braves were plus 270 to win the division when it was tied, and they're winning at 115. I hate that.

They're playing at 115 win clip. They were basically tied for the division, and it's like a 65-35 split for the Mets to win the division, and plus 270 for the Braves. So the play, gambling-wise, is absolutely Atlanta. I get that.

But I can't do that. No, because— I said Meek is the only guy in the world who's such a freak that he still is rooting for the Mets. I said anybody else, I would have kicked off the show. No, you can't. I would be like, you can't be on the show anymore. People are always like, dude, why don't you just bet the Packers to win the Super Bowl? It's like—

It's dirty! Because if it happened, I'd be happy that I won money, and then I'd have the rest of my life that I'd have to deal with that. Yeah't you just bet the Packers to win the Super Bowl? It's dirty. Because if it happened, I'd be happy that I won money, and then I'd have the rest of my life that I'd have to deal with that. Yeah, you bet on the Packers to win. Why not just root against them? I actually – we're probably going to have to talk about gambling at some point so we don't get fired. You're not going to get fired.

Come on. And my angle is going to be gamble with your heart. Because your brain is dumb. This is my argument for when I place bets. I'm like, look, I'm not a smart person. Your brain is not going to be gamble with your heart. Because your brain is dumb. This is my argument for when I place bets. I'm not a smart person. Your brain's not going to give you the right answer. It never does. So why don't I just gamble with my heart and I just bet on a team I want to win?

Yeah. That would go great. Yeah. That's pretty much why I bet overs because it's like my heart wants a fun game. That's the same logic. Last night, Thursday Night Football, I even said in Barcelona Sports Advisors, this isn't going to go over, but I'm going to bet it because it's the first game. I'm excited football's back.

Week one under, kill yourself. Those are for the people who are like, yeah, we're trying to hit 54% and squeak out, no, I want points. I want fun. Sorry, I'm going to lose, but it's worth rooting for the fun. I also think you bet like $100, so it's not like – like if you bet a lot of money, I don't care what you tell me when it comes down to it.

If you have like $5,000 on the line and the Mets win, there's a part of you that's like, fuck. And so the Mets win the division, and there's like half of you going, God damn it, I just lost a lot of money. Or vice versa. You know, the Braves win, and you're like half of you going, God damn it, I just lost a lot of money. Or vice versa. You know, the Braves win and you're like, I won money, but yeah, right. You're pumped while the Mets are like down in the dumps.

I still have my Subway Series bet. I made that in like maybe June. And it was like five grand to win like 80. Just to have that matchup? Yep. I mean, I don't think it's going to happen. But I was like, that was a bet with your heart. Because I was like, what would be better?

Like, I would live in the office that week just to watch you guys just fucking kill each other. I will lose my mind. Who? Frank or Hubs or Tommy? All of them. Marty, like, all of them. Bro, I will not. I've said, if there's a...

Probably Frank. If the Mets have a run, if the Mets have a run, I will do like The net I'll do the division series And like the first couple games Of the NLCS With Frank for streams

For the people If there's like Important NLCS games And the World Series I'm not watching it You know what you should do I'm not letting him ruin that Not an event for me

You know what you do Is you watch with Frank But then you just get Like huge headphones And you listen to radio broadcasts. And just sit there and like you can't, he tries to talk to you and you just are locked in. I'm also like

when Ben signs money, remember that? I'm going to go in like a case. Yeah, right. Where I can't see him and I can't hear him, but we're technically doing the stream together. He's the worst. I'm not going to let him. The Mets, if the Mets are good, they don't like string together. Like when they make the playoffs, they've only made the playoffs back-to-back seasons technically twice, but one of those was a wild card game, so I don't count that.

99 and 2000 was the only real time they've ever made the playoffs back-to-back seasons. So this is probably it for me for a few more years. Wait, what? Yeah. They've only made it back-to-back once. But what's also weird is that when they do make it they like go to the world series or go to the nlcs like they're they're never like one and done except for the wild card again i don't count that everything else has been like

pretty good runs uh but yeah it's pretty pathetic and i would hope that like that's that's why they kept these prospects and cohen is trying to make it like the dodgers where you're like you're good all the time. But there is every chance that we always say we're cicadas. Every seven years, cicadas come out. It was usually every seven years the Mets come out, and we make a lot of noise, and then we go away. It's kind of like the Bears because everyone's like,

oh, yeah, you guys have had good teams. It's like, no, look at it. It's like every six, seven, eight years, they'll have a legit team. And then because they don't build ever the right way, it just falls off. It just falls off. I don't know if...

I can't count you because your sports fan life is just not normal. Although it's getting more normal. Yeah, you're starting to even out. But I think when your brain was forming, your sports world was so good that I don't know if I can ever – your sports fandom. Your impression of sports fandom, I think, will just be warped forever. Oh, no. Hank, last night, we were watching the Bills-Rams, and he's like –

the Bills, like, every time Josh Allen ran, he was like, why is he running? This game means nothing. Only thing that matters to them is January. And I was like, so go watch these games and live and die with these games. The Mets season for me this year has been absolutely very unhealthy for me. Yes. I don't know why if it's just because, like I said, it's very rare that they're good or they are as good as I think they are.

Like, even when we were good, I was like, they're not like a World Series contender. Like, I think these guys really are. Or if it's just I'm getting older. Or if it's just that social media is getting more intense. Or I don't know what it is, but it's like if they win the World Series this year, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not. I really can't. Like, it's like if they win the world series this year i'm not i'm done i'm not doing this anymore i'm not i really can't like it's bad for my health and if they don't i'll obviously keep

like rooting for them but i'm done doing like i'm not doing the i'm not doing social media twitter i can't do sports fandom on the internet it's so much i go i go and it's so many games i know it's like i can't do it Yeah You see the Actually it's kind of crazy He did that I think it was Brian Kumble Who was on Someone's podcast

Like this past week And he was just Basically destroying sports fandom Just being as stupid as It's fanatical Like the name is fanatic Like you're not healthy Yeah

It's like Dude that's in your industry He's like He was like He's like Do you think I'm going to argue about sports? Absolutely fucking not. Do you get sick of that? Arguing about sports. At some point, we've had all of the takes to ever have in sports, and then it's just

this team has a bad bullpen. This team has good starting pitch. He might use the word pathetic. He was talking about people who listen to sports radio. See, I like arguing about sports as long as you go in. I think I've evolved in the fact that I used to be like, I'm going to be right and prove other people wrong.

And then you realize no one's ever going to change their opinion. So if you go into it, like I love arguing about college football because there's so many fan bases and everyone disagrees. And it's like I hop in, I argue, we all disagree, and then I walk away. It's like no one changed their mind. This is cool. I was yelling at somebody the other day and he just tweeted back, dude, this is where I come to vent. Like if you don't like it.

Yeah, right. And I was like, okay. Yeah, right. He was like, if you don't like it, unfollow. I was like, okay, cool. Right. I unfollowed. I was like, all right he's like if you don't like it unfollow i was like okay great i unfollowed i was like all right that makes sense yeah but it's the people

who i do think are like if you are i mean you're never going to change anybody's mind but i when it when especially with the mets this year when it's something so insanely illogical like telling me that a hundred win team is bad i'm like i have to say something right i've had this fight like i i've i've i've been where you are right now. Yeah. And I've been there with two grass. I've been there with David Price. Yeah. We're just like, I'm arguing with the wall,

but it's like, I'm arguing that like people are telling me that purple is red. And I'm like, no, it's not right. Two, three ERA. Yeah.

Fucking a hundred and ninety. If he was going to be right, right. He's fucking good. Yeah. But then if you realize like you don't like at the end of the day, like, because we give so many takes and P and specific fan bases, because obviously they're fanatical,

we'll listen to a whole podcast and be like, you said this one thing about my team. Remember you said it two months ago. And realizing I'm wrong all the time. Who the fuck cares? You know what I mean? Yeah, I said that about your team. I was wrong. If I was right, I'd be fucking winning all my bets and i

wouldn't be here like you would never even hear from me you know what i mean i'd be sitting in a mansion we're talking it means i'm wrong right exactly like that's the best part is like when people like you got to follow this person to win gambling picks like dude if any of these people won all the time you they wouldn't be on twitter right they would be fucking in vegas and they would be all losers right right exactly i i the other money. We're all losers here. Right, right, exactly. The other day, though, I had my kids. I'm with my mom and dad. Everything was great, and I was tense and aggravated and irritated,

because it was a 1-1 game against the Nationals or some shit. Yeah, yeah. And then they broke it open and scored four runs in the inning, and I literally felt my body relax relaxed and i started having more fun and i was like oh this is bad yeah this is bad this is like really actually impacting my life like on a i've had those moments basis like i should be having fun with my kids but i yeah i've had the this year my son's third birthday and father's day was the same day and i had two grand to win 50 for Will Zalatouris in the U.S. Open when he lost by one stroke with that putt at the end.

Just ruined everyone's day. But I was just like, yeah. But I also was just like, you know, this is his dad. I'm not going to hide it. You know what I mean? I'm present, like yeah when when daddy sometimes yeah like you know he's not gonna be I always just say it's very funny cuz he's getting to like a very funny age he wills out Taurus missed the

putt and like I just screamed and he came over he's like what's wrong I was like daddy needs a break okay you take need a quick breather. Yeah, right, right. That is great. Daddy needs a break. Yeah, oh, he knows too. I'm like, daddy needs a quick break. When he grows up to learn, it's like, oh, so every time daddy needed a break, he lost like five grand? Yeah.

Oh, okay. That's why I met Suni Oswego. Dude, listen. Everyone's like, oh, I want my kids to be this. I want my kids to be that. I want my kids to be just good enough in math that they can make me a gambling system. So that's how we can just be like, you know? Speaking of data and the system, how much did you enjoy Stephen Che on Surviving Barstool?

Dude. Just being the cockiest motherfucker ever. His? Okay. So Stephen Che, first of all, content Chay has been incredible. Him going full content. Do you like it or do you hate it? I'm going to make a confession right here, right now.

When Stephen Chay was non-content, I had him muted on Twitter. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. You can say anything because, listen. He's been unmuted since it became content. He became unmuted. I love Chay. Listen, you can say anything about anything like this he'll go oh you want you right this is

great dude that bruce arians clip when i had to walk bruce arians through who steven chay was and he's finally like oh yeah i kind of remember him steven text me this next day he's like he remembered me my heart is full with a heart emoji like he is you can't beat steven chay bruce arians was like oh that guy that guy i spit on that guy but you can't beat Steven Chet. In that clip, Bruce Arians was like, that guy. Yeah, that guy. I spit on that guy. But you can't beat him. His brain is just like, so Washington is surviving.

He's a robot. Yeah, but like him being with people who don't know his brain was fascinating because like I know him, I know Steven so well now. I know exactly what he's thinking at all times. And he's just, he's one in a billion. But I've said i've told him to his face the the first six months that i knew steven because he came up to me it was hq2 and he was like hey you're doing the act buddy i want to be your producer and i was

like all right fine whatever and i hated him i hated his guts because he would just like over plan everything yeah and then finally it clicked to me i I was like, oh, this guy's like a one in a billion guy. And then it's like, he's hilarious. He drives me nuts. But you got to switch your perspective. I love him to death, but he is truly, there is no one like Stephen Che. My thing with muting him was, it's almost like when people yell at athletes, being like, why don't you get in the gym?

Instead of tweeting. And it's like, well, I don't know. I worked out nine hours. Right. Now I'm going to tweet I worked out nine hours. Right. Now I'm going to tweet a little bit. Five minute tweet. But I would see Che breaking down game film. And I'd be like, hey dude, how about you go sell the fucking podcast?

But now it's in right down the email. Dude, I don't know if you guys saw, but he obviously has been in the film community, is what he calls it. A respected member of the film community. We were in Denver for Grit Week and we saw Baldy. And he's like Stephen Che's hero and I took a picture and I was like, just met Baldy. First thing he asked me, he's like, do you work with that Stephen Che guy?

Made the whole story up. Yeah, that was very mean. I knew it was mean. The minute I did it, it was mean. I saw the video of you and L and Che. I didn't tell him for three days. It was great, but then he just like he just takes L's and he just eats them and just and turns them into dubs. He's unflappable.

That's mean. He actually said to me, he's like, that's really mean. I was like, Steven, I know how mean it was. I did it to you because I knew it was mean. I was being mean. There's no way to spin that other than me being really mean. I saw the clip of you tell him about on the act And I was like

Oh It was like The Simpsons Like you can see Where his heart breaks right Yeah He's like Wait you made that up Yeah

That's exactly what I wanted Would you do A surviving bar stool With like all of the originals Yeah So I actually Cause Dave was talking about it Yeah

And he was like Dan would do it in a heartbeat And I was like I I mean, I guess I don't think I would enjoy that at all I don't want any If you guys all did it, I couldn't be the pussy Who backs out of it I don't want to do that

Straight up, I've started training for it I know it's going to happen And when I work out, I'm thinking about it I think the Dave Portnoy show Was the week after We were in Saratoga. And I actually told him that the thing that if we could ever figure it out would be OG's Amazing Race. And so it's like you two together, me and PFT. Nightmare.

Dave and his dad. No way. Dave and his dad. way Dave and his dad Like you could do Hank and Gaz Like all these combos Of people And then like

But like we're Going around the country Right Racing around Like could you imagine How fucking awesome That would be Wait so Amazing Race

Is they do challenges Either they drive They have to like Traveling Yeah they get point A To point B And then they do a challenge and then like there's

so it might not be exactly like Survivor. I'd be better at that than Survivor. Yeah, so like I don't know if Survivor would Survivor's like the game the mental shit.

And I don't know if it would work with Not me. I'm also not doing the fucking I'm not going to an island. I'll do like this surviving.

I'm not living in the wilderness for fucking six weeks. I'd be better at that too. Yeah. Make it really hard because I'm good at that. Let's just make a pact though. If it's Amazing Ways, it would be a good combo.

You have to do the physical challenges and I'll do the mental shit. And seeing the interactions of everyone. But if we do ever do Surviving Barstool, we just have to vote Dave off right away. That's why I don't know if it would work. He doesn't realize that. I don't think he – like the same way. But he said that about Tommy. He was like, if me or the regular guys were in it, we would all vote Tommy off right away just simply out of spite

because we know he wants to win and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, well, yeah, we would do that to you. No, I think you guys, I am not saying I'd vote Dave off. Really? Because I'm still terrified of Dave. Dave Catherin was like, don't vote me off. And that's why we might be in trouble because we'd be rallying people and then Dave would be like yeah if you vote for me I'm firing you

and they'd be like okay we're not voting for you he wouldn't have to like threat the firing he'd be like don't vote me off I think I would be like if you don't vote for Dave here I'll never vote for you dude he used to come into Milton and not say hi to people I would be like, if you don't vote for Dave here, I'll never talk to you again. You guys have to work it.

Dude, he used to come into Milton and not say hi to people. Do you understand? He would blow right past them. Do you understand what that takes? One of my favorites. I do feel bad. He would leave and not say bye. That's crazy.

Dude, remember, I laugh about this every now and then. It'll pop in my brain every now and then. It was HQ2, and I think it was right around the beginning and it was when Kevin, Dave and I were like, we were butting heads. There was a time where it wasn't like, because I think everything was new and we were all trying to do our own thing and everything and I think someone had been like, I think me or Kevin were like, dude, you're intimidating to people. And he had a baseball bat because he just had it in his office.

He came out with the baseball bat and pointed it at Smitty and was like, do I intimidate you? And I was like, dude, yes. You've got a weapon in your hand. He went into his office. We had that argument. He went into his office, stood on it for a moment, and then came out to be like,

I'm going to find out if this is true or not with a bat. Who's intimidated by me? How do you not get intimidated, right? That a bat. Who's intimidated? Yeah, right. None of you guys are intimidated, right? That was crazy. Firing a gun in the air. That was nuts. So funny.

But, like, we, I mean, you would have to vote him off. And then from there, I think it would actually be, it would get dirty. Yeah, no, it would. It would. But the problem is, like, and these, they all went through it. It's like, when you are, especially if it was for a hundred grand,, if you fucked me over for $100,000, we're not friends anymore. Yeah. Like straight up.

Straight up. I'd be very pissed. We are not friends anymore. I'd be very pissed. It would have to be like if we got to the final. I'd be like if we're in the final three, then so be it. Somebody's got to win. But if one of you guys fucked me over for $100,000,

I will never talk to you again. What's the level that you're okay with it? Like a level of money where I'd be like, yeah, whatever. See, this is the weird thing this is what i run into with gambling this is where it's either like i have to bet so much that like it's it hurts me or i i haven't found my my unit my middle ground this is like i care but like but it's not gonna cripple me dude this is a perfect tie into like the original kFC Radio. When I think back, I think I said I could retire with 10 grand. I was like, I could retire with 10 grand.

You said you would go to an island. Yeah. I was like, I think about, because it was actually the perfect time that we did, when we were starting that show, was because I think about all the things that I was so cocky about, and now 10 years removed with kids, and I'm slowing down. It's like, I couldn't do any of that shit. Dude, 10 grand would go in a heartbeat.

Oh, dude. It would be like, okay, all right, so that's the nanny. Yeah. Yeah, all right, we're done. You would be able to retire for roughly 12 hours. If there's no football on. If there's football on, less. We got some voicemails that we'll play in a second.

Before we do that, Pavs and his friends had one last night. We got to work out, I guess, some of the numbers a little bit here or how to present it. You can either – there's a deer. Okay. And you either got a machete... It started out as, what do you think you'd have a better chance

at doing? Killing a deer with a machete up close, where you have to be able to, like, I'm gonna hack the deer's head off. And the deer knows it's in a fight? See, this is bad. But for whatever reason, it's also, like, it's not gonna just run away or whatever. You don't have to be, like, an expert tracker.

You either, like, have to kill a deer up close with a machete, or you can be far away from it, and it's not going to be as gruesome and fucked up, but you have a bow and arrow. But, like... Okay, so this is also bad, because, like, I just gave that speech about how, like, all the things that I was cocky about, like, I would fuck a deer up, no problem. Dude, like... With my hands. It's not even fighting me back? No.

See, you guys are so sick. I would fucking choke it out! You're so sick. Like, we were talking more about like, do you have the capability to, like, chop the head off of, like, an innocent little deer? You guys were talking about how hard it would be and how easy it would be.

We were talking about whether we even have the guts to go through with it. No. If I had my druthers, no, I'd rather not decapitate a deer. But if we're doing this, yeah, I'll fucking cut that deer's head off. I would just wear it. This is a challenge in an amazing race. Guess what? That deer is fucking headless now.

You know how hard it is to chop anybody's head off? You've got to keep going through it. No, see, I wouldn't do that shit. I would just rear naked choke hold him and just slowly suck the life out of him. Can you say all this? Remember, how much did you love Derek the Deer? I did love Derek the Deer. Imagine you had to chop Derek the Deer's head off.

The deer that got, remember in Chicago? He got stuck on the lake. He got stuck on the lake. And it was like WGN had breaking news for the entire morning. The whole world was like, save the deer. And now you've got to chop his fucking head off. Oh, dude. So then I guess we kind of adjusted it to like, what if you got like 50 grand to chop

its head off, but at like 25 grand, you just have to like shoot it with an arrow and not even look at it. I would kill the deer no matter what. Either way, whatever. Fuck these deers. Deer are like- You're like that Michael Jordan, fuck them kids. Fuck these deers.

If you don't kill deer, like they deer, there's too many of them. We're just describing Sidney's Tuesday. Yeah, right. There's a good portion of the country going, this is what I do for a living. Right, exactly. Sign me up. When daddy needs a break, he goes out and kills fucking Derek the deer. All right, well, what if I made dogs, tough guys?

Dogs is harder. What kind of dog? Oh, dude, what if I made dogs, tough guys? Dogs is harder. What kind of dog? Oh, dude, by the way, speaking of dogs, in an all-time Geraldine story. How old's Duncan now? He just turned nine. Nine. Crazy. My mom was texting our family group chat about vacation plans and stuff like that,

like things coming up, asking whose dates are available blah blah blah and my brother took that opportunity to kind of cutely announce that he got a dog and he sent a picture of the dog and said can gus roll with and my mom's reply she adorable but no i like that it's true such a poly such a geraldine move it's a totally different rental house if you have to do the dog and that that's true such a polymorph such a Geraldine move it's a totally different rental house if you have to do the dog and that's a whole different experience

that's a whole different everything just adorable but no period next question sweet dog I didn't ask

what any new animals you guys got I asked what dates you're free I meant to bring this up earlier when we were talking about Stephen Che stuff. And we haven't talked about this on the show because I don't think we've recorded.

But I'm interested to hear your take, Dan. I went to the U.S. Open the other night. Nate's going to be furious I'm bringing this up and not having him present to defend himself. I don't care. So I went to the U.S. Open the other night. All-time match. It was unbelievable.

It was Garcia versus Sinner. And I went with Hubs and Nate. Tennis sucks. Dude, no. Not live. I'm a tennis guy. I might go back to that. When I watch those videos of the crowd going like this and people seem to like them, that's my nightmare. I'm also going to stay firm

because I can't watch every sport. So I drew the line at tennis. It's a hard line. I'll watch one set of Wimbledon, but no. It is. When we started, we were behind the players, so we could watch the whole thing kind of deal. Then come the fifth set,

because everyone had gone home. It was 2 o'clock in the morning at this point. They let people down to the lower bowl, and I was sitting with the head part. Head part's not as fun. That sucks. Sitting behind and getting to just watch it, much, much better. But anyway, so we're going I got tickets. Got them through GameTime. Shout out GameTime.

Code stool, 20 bucks off. The walk-in, the whole time walking in we had gone separately so I had to go find them at a different gate because we were doing the finance podcast and I had to piss like a fucking racehorse and the whole time I'm like, dude, I got to fucking piss.

I said it twice, three times, whatever. And then we get into the stadium, get up to our level. We're on the concourse that our seats are on. And when I finally see a bathroom, I was like, yo, I'm going to jump in. I got to pee. Was there a line? Like four people. Nothing.

A very brief line. There was what's called four to seven people sticking out. Not like halftime at a fucking football game. There was what's called four to seven people sticking out. Not like halftime at a fucking football game. A couple people in line, but nothing crazy. And I was like, yo, I gotta piss. I'm going to the bathroom. And Nate looks me dead in the eyes and says, wait, walk us to our seats

first. And I was like, no. He lives in outer space. Nate lands. Walk me to the usher? Now, to be fair, Land. Walk meets. Are you the usher? Now, to be fair, I had the seat. I had the tickets. They were on my phone.

And it was not transferable. You couldn't send it. I mean, screenshot instead of text. I was just like, I wouldn't even. If the three of us go into the game. I'll just wait. No, I would have said, if you said, I have to piss really bad, I'm like, all right, what do you want to drink? I was going to say.

So we did have beers. A couple things. I would either be like, I'm just going to piss now, too, because we're going to have to eventually at the sporting'm like alright What do you want to drink I was going to say So we did have beers A couple things I would either be like I'm just going to piss now too Because like We're going to have to Eventually at the sporting event So I'll just go now

Or you go get some Puga to beer Or you just stand there On your fucking phone Or you say Hey where are our seats I'll see you there I did

I yelled that I was so befuddled As I was walking to the bathroom I was like Section 323 Rojay I'm not fucking Unless I mean if there was like a You can't get through to this section without showing

but just then again i'll be in line i'll text you your tickets go to your seats yeah it was that's insane let's throw all that out even worst case scenario wait for like a minute and 20 seconds yeah i mean it was it was under two minutes mean, it was under two minutes. It was so quick. That's insane. But it was. That's so Nate, too. That's insane. Walk me to my seat. I would have just gone home.

Yeah. I'd be like, you don't get to know where the seats are. I'm out of here. How about I fucking kill you and you get to watch this fucking event? That's insane. You jerk off. And did he think he was right? Oh, he still thinks he was right.

He was like, if you talk about it on the podcast, you have to bring me in to defend myself. And he had a tweet that was like, okay, here's the scenario. Person A, da-da-da-da. And person B, da-da-da-da, and Feidelberg just quote tweeted. It was like, I told you I had to piss the whole time. Like, fuck your A-B scenario, you dumbass. Also, like, this is like one of those math questions. I still don't understand. Two trains leaving.

There are, like, ten things. I'm surprised it's this close. That's actually pretty close. I'm surprised it's this close. There are ten things that would happen before, I would say, you know, walk us to our seats. Like, sorry, real quick. I piss with you. I get a beer.

I look at my phone for a minute. I go to my seats. Like, everything. I just stand there. And look who the top reply is and look what he says. Of course, fucking Frank. That probably kills Nate. Nate's probably so mad.

He's like, damn it. No words. Watching a game with Frank. I went to a Devils game with Frank last year, Devils Bruins. Didn't you guys just go to YouTube? Just two of us. Oh, yeah. And it was, yeah, Frank goes to his seats and he does not get up from his seat the whole

game. Dude, he's so, going to a game with him is very funny. That's the craziest thing you've ever done, by the way. Yeah, that is pretty crazy. I went to a Nets game with him. There was a few of us. Seeing Frank in the wild when he's interacting with people that don't know Frank, he fucking crushes, dude.

He was throwing out jokes, and the whole section was laughing. Yeah, it was fucking crazy. He was perfect in that joke. Yes, yes. Remember when Dave said he was going to put Frank on a pitch count, and he couldn't come in the office And he's here all the time Remember the doing lines joke with the Dolphins It was But if you're just there for a ball game

A couple hours and he gets those Puns in that he always has on the top of his head It's pretty funny It was the game that Nick Claxton for the Nets Missed his first 10 free throws And Frank every time he got to the line Would just go, and everyone would

laugh. It was fucking hilarious. And I was like, dude, Frank, you're crushing right now, dude. Dude, with Frank, the funniest thing is that when you're walking with him, I think I don't think I'm exaggerating. I think it took us 15 minutes to get from here to MSG.

Because he moseys. But I don't think it has to do with him being'm exaggerating. I think it took us 15 minutes to get from here to MSG. Because he moseys. He moseys. But I don't think it has to do with him being a bigger guy. I think a little bit. He just takes it all in. That's how he rolls. I think if Frank had a six-pack and it was like a fucking lifeguard, Frank would move at the exact speed he moves.

I like that. He's got his speed. I remember when I said it's like a whale at the aquarium when we had the serious room with the windows. He just kind of comes out from behind the wall and he just saunters. Yeah, saunters. He walks by. He's like a majestic officer.

Let's rip some voicemails. Yeah. Wait, before we do that, I want to talk about the other thing that I just – the other unique experience I just had. Yeah. I already told you, so I'm going to cut that. Con? Yes. Yeah.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, yes. So last night. Jesus Christ. Last night, Con sent me a text. He says, hey, I'm at Minetta Tavern on McDougal Street. He's like, I'm at Minetta. I got a barstool for you.

And we had just finished interviewing DeVito. I was flying high. I was like, dude, you know what? I'm on my way. I'm coming. I was going to go home and work out. I was like, I'm on my way right now. I get there. Cons is

with a friend, and the friend is having a client dinner. Insane. He's already ridiculous. To characterize, I have a bar store for you. He said he was with a buddy. He said he was with a buddy, but did not mention that his buddy was having a client dinner. So I get there, and I'm just like, I'm in the middle of a fucking meeting.

And everyone's former army. Everyone's businessmen. They're all talking VA loans and shit like that. And I was like, all right, fuck. I got to shift gears here. This is not what I thought I was walking into. But then Kahn's leaves. That's crazy.

Left. And I'm stuck there. Because I Kahn's leaves. That's crazy. Left. And I'm stuck there at a client, which, because I'm such a pussy, I was like fucking standing there. But

then his buddy's like, you can leave if you want to. And I was like, no, no. Dude, you know what? You need to have a kid.

Like, I'm thinking about this. One, I wouldn't have gone. Two, if I had gotten there, I would have been like, I gotta go. He kind of did that to me once too, now that I'm remembering. Like one I wouldn't have gone two if I had gotten there I would have been like I gotta go

he kind of did that to me once too now that I'm remembering like same sort of thing he was like you just want to go get a drink and I you know I'm always with the kids

or working or whatever so I'm always you know I never go out and finally I was like you're always nice enough to ask me like yeah I'll go

and it was like he was meeting up with old army buddies and I was like well this is super awkward yeah I got the odd man out here like they went to like a quiet intimate like get beers He was meeting up with old army buddies, and I was like, well, this is super awkward. Yeah. I got the odd man out here.

They went to a quiet, intimate, get beers with an old friend I haven't seen in a while. I was like, well, I mean, I can do this, but it's kind of strange. Yeah, it's not preferable. Sweet. So he left. Then what'd you do? Then dinner finished. I had a nightcap, if you will. It was like 7.30.

At the bar with the guy. And then... Just you and him. Just me and him. Oh my god. And then... I mean, right? Like never in a thousand years. No.

Then we went to a different bar and watched the first half of... The nightcap was the different bar. No, no, no. The nightcap was at that bar. Holy shit, dude. It was like we had dinner, and he's like, you want to do like a...

He re-asked for the drink menu. He was like, you want to do like a whiskey? You're a national hero. I was like, okay. Dude, you got to... Oh, man. And then we were like, you want to go watch the first half of the game?

Oh, no. So then we went to a new bar because Mineta Tavern doesn't have TVs. Then we went to a new bar and watched the first half. And I'm telling a story because it's obviously bizarre and weird. But it'd be a very nice guy. Sure. We had a perfectly normal time.

Who's a person you would do that for? Who would that friend be? No one. If that friend was like a fucking... I have a few friends that I would go to a bar with alone. But the fact that you... You gotta learn how to say no, dude. Oh, he's the worst.

Dan, it's unbelievable. It's getting worse. My learning days are behind. It's so refreshing. He'll do anything. He'll be like, I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm going.

And someone says, you want to go? He's like, yeah, okay. Dude, when you get to the point where you can say no, it's the best feeling in the world. I have the most extreme case of i don't have fomo because that's too like cute i i have a legitimate fear of missing out i have like a oh but not but none of it is missing out on anything i feel like your fear is more about you don't want to come across as like rude or mean but i'm both but i also don't want to miss like what i don't know i like telling stories what i don't want to miss like, I don't know. I like telling stories. I don't know. Something might happen.

I'm so bad now. I have no idea. I'm so bad now. I say no in like, like places I've lost. Like my social graces. I remember I was at a meeting once. It was back when I, I used to be, I used to have an agent at CA and I was like, I was, I was done with it. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore.

And they were like trying to woo me to be like, hey, this is fun. I went and met the big guy. And he was like, hey, we got great seats, the Yankees, front row, anytime you want. And I just go, no, thank you. I was like, I'm not going to the Bronx. I was just like, you're saying that? I walked out and I was like, that was rude. You might as well have told me, I got tickets to a game in Fallujah.

I was like, that was rude, but I also did the correct thing because he's never gonna ask me right i don't want to be asked rather just be like i mean i know if you're the guy who just says no eventually you're the guy who nobody invites anymore right and you run that risk but it's also like that's probably the smartest thing no that's that's stop inviting me i'll just stop saying no that's what i'm fine with i'm afraid of stopping oh i'm fine with that when you when you accept that And it actually is kind of cool Because now I don't have to say no anymore

Because no one's asking me anymore Yeah but you're both fine with not being asked Because you have kids and shit I'm not asked I just go home and read Yeah No see yeah I like not being asked

It's almost like Like Large is a perfect example Large used to ask me to go out and get a drink And I just was like no And he stopped asking But like I still hang Like when Large and I go on trips, like in Vegas, we were hanging out. That's when we can hang out. I have time.

We can hang out. I enjoy your company. But yeah, on a Tuesday night, I'm not going to go out to a four-hour dinner. And then when you do show up every now and then for whatever reason, it's like, oh, wow, it's a fucking special occasion. Right. And it was the last time we're in vegas so we're going to vegas again for the canal fight i'm sure i'll

hang out with large again i had a great time hanging out with large but i also in the back of my head i was like yeah next time we're here we'll do it again right but not before see you in a year yeah right right imagine i had a kid just for it's like i needed this dude it's the best you could just be like i say no to everything and you don't even half the time it's the best. You could just be like, I say no to everything, and you don't even – half the time it's not even because I have a kid. I'm just saying no, and people assume it's because of the kids, and I'm like, good. You assume that.

I'm good. I know a couple who had kids because they were like, the hangovers are getting to be too much, and we're going out too much. It was me. I'm retired. I had a kid because they were too – It was me She was like

I can't do this anymore I need a reason To stop You want to leave it in tonight I need an excuse I'm retired I'm retired from Bachelor parties too

Yeah I saw you say that But I feel like you can You still You can dial a Dial an ID When you put down Like 18 In the beer Olympics or whatever I was like you can dial a dial. When you put down like 18 in the beer Olympics or whatever, I was like, dude, if I did that right now, I would be good for like six and I'd probably puke.

Yeah. The bachelor party went on. I did the first night. I thought I was giving everyone a micro dose of mushrooms and everyone just tripped. We just all tripped. And I was like, well, this is an interesting way to start. So yeah, I can. Yeah, you're right I do

when I that's the thing is like when I go out it's like I'm going 100 if I'm if I ever am going out and you're like hey let's go out

and go 70 I'm like no thank you I'll stay home one or the other yeah yeah yeah I get that but I could my 100 these days

is like you know soft yeah yeah what do we got oh by the way the first like 50 voicemails are just,

Big Cat, how much money do you make? Everybody needs a little bit of help, right? You get by with a little help from your friends. I get by

with a little help from Dave. And I ain't talking about Portnoy. I'm talking about the financial app that can help you out when you're in a pinch

or anytime you just need some extra cash, which honestly, it's just like all the time. Even if I'm not in a pinch, I might sign up and do this because I just want the money. I feel like that's tempting the gods though. So what they have is something called Extra Cash.

You download the app and you sign up for Extra Cash and they can send you up to $500. And most people use that when it's like, oh, I got in a car accident and I need to pay for the repairs or oh, this medical bill came up or just something came out of nowhere. I hadn't budgeted it. Now I need 500 bucks. Dave.com has me covered.

I feel like if I just went there and be like, I just want the $500, then something bad would happen to me. Yeah, that's true. That's like, yeah, right. It's like tempting, tempting fate too much. So only use it when you really are in a pinch. But when you are, they've got your back. Dave is the app that can help you out no matter what the financial situation might be with that extra cash. So download the Dave app.

That's D-A-V-E. Sign up for extra cash account and get that money transferred to you instantly for terms and conditions. Go to Dave.com slash nipple. It's not that. It's not nipple. But what is it? I can't read. Fuck, nipple. My eyes are going, man.

Dave.com slash nipple. Dave.com slash legal. Instant transfer fees apply. Banking provided by Evolve. Member FDIC. Future you will thank you. Question here. Taking a shit in the bathroom. future you will thank you. Question here.

Taking a shit in the bathroom. Do you shit in your master bathroom or do you shit in the spare bathroom? Oh, excuse me, fucking Scrooge McDuck over here. This guy just hacked away to find out how much money I made. Because I do take a shit in my fourth bathroom.

I guess I wouldn't... I do shit in my master bathroom. I have one in the living room. I have one in my bedroom. I go to my bedroom. I mean, I only have one bathroom right now. If I were to have two, I would probably definitely have a shit bathroom.

But I don't think it would be like, I'm going to make it my master, or this is my... You know, I just like you prefer one. You just do one. Yeah. Yeah. I got a good, I got a good relationship with my bedroom. Out of comfort or wherever it's located or whatever, you know.

So what I do is like, I've been a night shitter for a while now. I don't know. I'm just off schedule. But everyone in my house usually goes to sleep, you know, by like 10 o'clock, everyone's asleep, and I'm watching games, and I shit, and I keep the door wide open. It's fucking awesome. Oh, dude. I have a game.

I have a door shitter? Yeah, because everyone's asleep. It's like, all right. I was going to say, don't be one of those weirdo couples. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Where it's like the girl's brushing her teeth while the guy's like. No, listen. Everyone's asleep, and everyone's been asleep. So it's like the girl's brushing her teeth while the guy's like. No, no, listen. Everyone's asleep and everyone's been asleep.

So it's like, all right, it's all right. And no one's around. Okay. Keep the games on. Yeah. Yeah. Take a shit. Open door.

It's nice. Yeah. It's nice. I mean, it's like almost the equivalent of like peeing outside. Yeah. It's this freedom. Yeah. The only thing that ever.

Sometimes Stella will like wake up and just just walk over and just be like, what's up? I'll pet my dog while I'm taking a shit. I don't care. What do we got next? Alright. So, Queen is dead. R.I.P. Liz.

Charles King. First night, you almost have to fuck the first night you become king but it's also just the day that your mom died I was thinking about this he has to give a speech they said like King Charles gears up for his speech

and it's like your mom just croaked but I also I went through this already in my head I probably beheaded deer I think she's so old and they probably were they saw it coming and this royal shit is so like i don't think his mom just died i think the queen died to him i think they're so weird like that yes you know people were like have some respect she's a mom and a grandmom and i was like no she's not yeah she's a like a

politician figurehead to all you even the fucking son right by this point i, I don't think he's like, oh, that's my mom. It's just like, that's the queen. As a matter of fact, he's probably like, I can't wait for this old bitch to be dead because I want to be king before my last days are over, you know? You think so? I kind of think. I think he wants some good years as king. Dude, he waited forever.

I mean, yeah. Yeah, Charles. Like, realistically, the queen could have died when she's like 74, and it wouldn't have been weird. It would have been like 22 years ago. And he would have had two decades of being king and instead he's like now i'm old and shit you know he's gonna look like that guy philip did whereas he looked like a dirty diaper still alive isn't that wait that's philip the one the picture in the car philip was her he was death warmed over yeah yeah yeah that was death in a microwave it was disgusting

uh but i think he's definitely more like yeah i'll fuck in this bed and I'm the king now. There's no way he's having sex. If he's the one I think he is, he's not having sex. Oh, no, dude. He's a freak. The one you're thinking of is dead. Charles is the guy who was married to Diana and, like, he's just like a regular. Prince Andrew?

No. No, no, no. Prince Andrew is a pedophile. He would definitely be fucking with a child. Prince Philip is the guy who was, like, dead walking. Yeah a child. Prince Philip is the guy who was like death walking. Yeah, no, dude. Prince Charles is just a regular like British man. Bro, no, Philip is the dude in the car.

I know. We're not talking about him. We're talking about Charles. Yeah, we're talking about Charles. That's what I'm saying. Prince Charles is like just a regular cat. He's fucking with the crown on. Yeah, exactly.

He's putting his scepter inside her. He's like, he's partying. Dude, there is... Bro, Charles. He's not young either, but he's ready to fucking... We did a live reading of... I don't know if you guys are familiar with Tampon Gate,

but there was like somehow the British press got a phone call that Charles had with his now wife, Camilla Parker Bowles, and he was like talking dirty

and was like, I want to crawl up inside your vagina. Yeah. And they called it Tampon Gate. He's a freak. He's a freak. I mean, they all are.

Pretend you just got caught. If you're going to live in a vagina, it's probably pretty cozy. It's too hot for me. It is warm. The humidity gets you. But, like, I don't know. It's kind of like padded walls. It's not really, like, good sex talk on the phone.

It's not hot, but I'd rather live in a vagina than a not. Oh, it's not. It's not. I want to crawl up inside and live in that pussy. I'd rather live in a vagina than a butt. Yeah, but... Yeah, no, but duh. But I'd rather... I'd rather live in like a...

A vagina strikes me as like, you know... Well, everyone lives there. Well, kind of. Yeah. I'm out of there. I pass through. Yeah.

I spent a lot of time one town over. It strikes me as like an opium den where everything's comfortable. You can lay everywhere. Everywhere's nice and soft and toasty.

This is quite nice. Here's a question for the queen. For you guys. Which body count do you think is higher? The number of guys she's you think is higher the number of guys she's had sex with or the number of people that she's like killed or like yeah i feel like she's had sex with like one dude right yeah dude unless i don't know these royals are freaks man yeah we're so used to looking at her for as an old lady she had a long time she was kind of hot queen yeah and she was a pretty girl yeah it also it also has to to be catching some dick What bodies do you count

Like that she Like How direct Does the kill have to be Like For her to kind of Hypothetically Like they have

Like the driver of a car Ram into A tunnel With her former Daughter-in-law No doubt Is she Is it

Is Is Is killing Like colonization Does that count Does it work like money if you inherit the fucking bodies too? Did you know about it in the 80s? There was a guy in Argentina

who popped a bottle of champagne and said, this bitch is dead. Ding dong, the bitch is dead. And popped a bottle. In Argentina? Yeah. Because apparently in 1982,

England and Argentina had a war. Yeah, was that the Falkland Islands? Falkland Islands. And they just had a war. Yeah, it was at the Falkland Islands. Falkland Islands. And they just had a war. So people in Argentina are like, fuck England. And it's not from some old school shit. It's from, I guess, 80s is a long time ago now.

But it's like, so there are people. I know, but I've heard the phrase Falklands before. So during that war, she was probably like, kill this guy, kill that guy. Yeah, yeah. She's like, fuck that guy with the bottle. Next up. What's up, KFC Radio crew? Big Cat, welcome back, yeah. She's like, fuck that guy with the bottle. Next up. What's up, KFC Radio crew? Big Cat, welcome back, man.

Long time listening here, eight years or so. My question for you, Big Cat, is after you left in the following years, can you think of an episode or an interview or a story or a hypothetical that you heard about and you were just like fuck i was i wish i was there in that studio to talk about it and cut it up with the boys because there's something to hearing things live and to feed off everybody else's interaction and reaction and everything that's an impossible question well there's a goal i have i mean when you guys interviewed dennis reynolds i was obviously sick and i just like, that would have been cool to be there.

But there's definitely times where I'll see – there's nothing specific, but there's times where I'll see clips, and I'll be like, oh, that's a fucking fun conversation. Like, I wish – because, like, especially because you guys don't get deep into sports, and there's some times where it's like, oh, that's kind of fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, there's definitely been moments where I'm like, man, I wish I was there for that. What was the one – the two we had this week were good.

We actually want a clip of it. Oh, it was if everything. Fuck, what was it? It was everything you think of happens. It comes to life. So, like, whatever you're thinking is. And we just started listening to what was happening in our heads at the time. Well, John particularly.

John has just like. Colleen is eating her camera. He did it with Nick. He said Nick's eating his phone. Apparently, John will just like – Colleen is eating her camera. He did it with Nick. He said Nick is eating his phone. Apparently John will just imagine you eating it. I'm hungry. So what was it?

But then I started thinking that way where I was like – No, you can't do that. It's like you can put things – you can incept people. But the other thing was really bad. Was the other thing the you can't fast-forward porn or was that just something else? No, yeah. It was like you have to fight a silverback every once a week every week it doesn't kill you but it obviously beats the fuck out of you right or everything you think of comes to life and it's almost like you just have to fight the gorilla because you can't function otherwise no you can't function but every week you catch like you know everyone everyone in my life would be dead but i would be dead too oh that's what I said.

Right. I'll jump in front of a bus today. Right. No, every... Dude, every time I'm standing in front of a train, I'm like, what if I just jump in front? So it would be over pretty quickly. Go over a bridge. I always...

When I drive over the Brooklyn Bridge, I'm like, what if I just fucking throw my car? Oh, I have that thought all the time. Just a little... Just a little... Yeah, no. And me and everyone else Is gone So I guess pick that

Because then you'd save Everyone's life I would die Like if it was truly It just naturally Has to pop in your head I would die like day three I would die

And then I would die Faster than you would Spend your ten thousand dollars Yeah I would die fucking Immediately You'd have to I'd have a good

I'd go I'd go somewhere With people that I Want to have sex with And think about that Real quick Make that come to life And then I'd have a good I'd go I'd go somewhere With people that I Want to have sex with And think about that real quick Make that come to life And then I'd kill myself I wouldn't make it

You'd have to train yourself To just be like Think about nothing Think about nothing Think about nothing But then you start Thinking about everything And nothing happens

In front of you right Every time I walk Into my living room I have like these big windows Every single time I get out of my bedroom Turn the corner See what's jumping

I'm like man It'd be so cool To sprint and dive out that And then you'd do it. I would do it. I would not. If I woke up at 9am, I'd be dead by 9.15. No, yeah. The other one, I can't remember the other half of it, but it was that you can't ever fast forward through

porn. Yeah, what was the other half? I think it was subtitles. Never get subtitles again or you can't fast forward through porn because we are heavy sub-team sub-teamers. Oh yeah, I am too. Big time. At this point, I do kind of need it or very, very much want it. Oh, I watch it with everything.

Sometimes I like the beginning of porn where they're talking, so I'm good with that. Yeah, I fast forward through porn a lot. But there's ways around it. You can pick the videos that are like, you know, watch it. Yeah, compilations. That's what I said. I said I'd go back to compilations. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, compilations. That's what I said. I said I'd go back to compilations. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah, you're right. Just do compilations. Compilations were the fucking move. When you first found out about them. Now I'm like, I need more. It's all the good stuff. Yeah. Over and over and over.

You didn't know. You need the bad stuff to like the good stuff. Exactly. You need a little bit of, without darkness, there is no light, you know? All right. Let's talk to this guy whose head looks like it's been stretched like Stretch Armstrong. Thanks, KFC.

Did not see that voice coming. So in my dorm room, we have a guy that when he takes a shower, he brings his speak room with him and turns it up all the way so the entire bathroom just hears what he's listening to. And I was in there earlier and I was listening to it and it got me thinking what's the best song to take a shower to?

Thanks, boys. Great question. Wow. So he's talking – he's a kid in college, I guess, right? Yeah. Like a communal bathroom? Which I thought he was going to be against it. I think that's a great move.

I'd like planting showers with that guy. 100%. I'd be like, yo, Eric, when do you shower today? Because I'm going to shower with you. I think – and this might be – I may be getting influenced by Remember the Titans because I think they, like, sung it in the locker room, but don't they have like the Motown on? Oh, yeah.

That would be cool. That would be pretty cool. Sugar Pie Honey Bunch. Yeah, something like that. Because those are good sing-along ones. Yeah. Ain't No Mountain High or Sugar Pie Honey Bunch or one of those where it's like a doo-woppy,

snap your fingers and hold the word. You feel good. You're getting ready for the day. It gets you motivated. I almost exclusively Showered a fall out boy Really Yeah

I never was a music In the shower guy I It's just like Oh I love it I'm basically Really Yeah

I shit before I shower So I have my phone with me And then I just Like put my phone on Before I get in the shower Yeah I don't have like A speaker system

In the bathroom I wish I was But I just Yeah When I get money I want to do like When I get money, I want to do like, my dream house is a very regular house. I want my bathroom tricked out.

Fully, yeah. Where it's like I can be in the shower for like an hour and I have a TV and music and this and that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm at the point now where if I take a long shower, I'll pop on a podcast. Yeah. I would get mad if Eric was playing podcasts.

That's fucking nonsense. Well, yeah. That would be funny. I would get mad if Eric was playing podcast. That's fucking nonsense. That would be funny. That would be a fucking power move. Halfway through the new Rogan. A five-hour Joe Rogan episode. Can you take this to your grave? I get in the shower and I have my hands like this.

All the water dripping down. I was like, I can take your feelings away. I'm smiling away. I'm a quick shower. I am if I'm just starting the day, I'm real quick.

But if it's a night shower or I want to chill, I'll hang in there for 40 minutes. I'm texting. I'm just hanging out. I am the cause of droughts. Everyone down in Jackson is like, we need water. And John's just like, whatever, bro. California's on fire because of me.

It is crazy. Dude, I said shit before I showered. I put the shower on then. Oh, me too. You got to make sure it's nice and warm. Yeah. It is. It is.

It is not good what I do. All right. nice and warm yeah it is it is it is not good what i do all right last dude this guy uh he he often like recaps our shows and does like statistics and stuff like that right i don't know if that's this uh what this call is but i can't think of the name what's the queen song you had a tweet once about what's the happiest song oh uh can't stop me now can't stop me now that's a great shower song. Can't stop me now. Because I'm having a good time. I'm having a good time. Great song.

I'm a super star. That's a great song to put on at a house party if everyone knows it. It just fucking... That was one of your most accurate tweets of all time. Yeah. I still remember that. Yeah.

You're right. It's just run through a brick wall. Hey, what's up, you guys? Someone submitted a couple of voicemails in the past watching Thursday Night Football right now, but I'm looking forward to this day for like five months as somebody who is heavily, heavily, heavily emotionally invested into their main fantasy football league.

In said league, I have Alan Robinson, and he's got one motherfucking target through essentially three quarters, and I want to die no exaggeration wish i was kidding i'd like i'd like death now please um i'm just gonna skip to the question because there's a hundred ways that i could motherfuck sean mcveigh in the pussy ass way that matt staff is throwing the pigskin right now but basically i just like to ask what is something that you are way too way too emotionally invested in aware of, and still can't do anything about it. I'm going to bleed out later tonight.

I already talked about mine. It is absolutely nuts. I can't stop it. I don't want to do it. I am too emotionally invested to not be emotionally invested. Yeah. You wish you cared more. I can't. You wish you cared more?

I can't get into anything. I can't care. It's devastating to me. I want interest so bad. You like Taylor. I like Taylor. I'm actually, me, Nate, and Keegs are going to a fake Taylor Swift concert Saturday night. Oh, my God.

Does that mean she won't use the bathroom? The candlelight? I honestly don't even know. I agreed to it a month ago and I forgot. It's very romantic. You'll have fun with them. No, I don't think it's romantic. It's called like Sad Girl

Sing Party. Oh, that'll be fun. That is right up your alley. Sad Girl Sing Party. I'll tell you exactly what it's called. It's called Cry About It. It's called Cry About It, Taylor Swift, and Other Sad Girl Dance Party. Wow.

Wow. I'm trying to think what I – for sports, I get emotionally invested when I think one of my teams can actually do something, but that doesn't happen often. So it's like I will get emotionally invested if I'm like this. Like 2018, the Bears, the double doink. That one was soul crushing. I was like, I think this team could win the Super Bowl. The thing I do now is the game of the years.

When I do a game of the year, I have one on Saturday night, so you'll know by Monday whether I won or not. I put my nuts on the table and I bet responsibly a significant amount of money. And those, like, I get very invested in those. But it's also,

it's the money, but it's also like... It's the pride. It's also like being like, I won my game of the year. I know that this is, yeah. The best feeling when you're like,

game of the year, won it. Yeah. And I put this one in memorial to the queen, so it's a big one. Oh, wow. It's a big one. It's a huge one.

She was a huge – it's BYU Baylor over 53 and a half. She was a huge college football fan. Of course. So this is for her. This is for her. Shout out to the queen. All right, we'll wrap it up here. Anything else?

I mean, this was great. Anytime you guys want me back I'll come back like I said I am busy but when I was talking to fights he's like I didn't want to ask because you're so busy it's like dude I am but this is something I'll always figure out for you know if content Kim wants me to

eat cookies I might be busy for this I'll always do it so I love that you guys are going three times a week and yeah anytime you want me back I'm here yeah we'll see you guys tomorrow on Tuesday for the regular

and then Thursday and next week we'll have I think it may be Rudy I was going to say just do content cam yeah សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្� Thank you. Bye.