KFC Radio - Big Jay Explains His Awkward Hangout with Kevin Hart || Pat and Joey Camasta Are Going to Start Gay Fight Club

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Timecodes 3:25 Toothy BJs 9:31 High end pr**itutes 15:39 Pete Davidson 21:20 Private Planes 25:39 Kid Rock in Nashville 32:09 Kevin Hart Getting Ultra Famous 46:46 Having his daughter young and her taste in comedians 55:07 Interviewing Nick Foles after the Super Bowl 58:02 Getting no love from his sports teams when he attends games 01:11:19 The New Bonfire With Robert Kelly instead of Dan Soder 01:23:21 KFC vs Big Jay "Beef" over Nikki Glaser Song 01:31:31 Dog Belly Special 01:34:59 Ari Shaffir QB sneaking Big Jay 01:40:53 Tucker Carleson getting fired ++++++++++++++ Sportsbook: Must be 21+ Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLERYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'll say one thing for sure I did do was stand sideways on the treadmill next to him while he was jogging and talking. And I just stood there. Minneapolis, Buffalo, Detroit, we are coming your way. New tickets on sale for KFC Radio Live, the 2023 tour. One show. A one-show tour. Exactly one show.

Not zero, not two. One. All tickets available at the KFC Radio social media channels. Go get your tickets today. We're in Dallas tonight. Austin Saturday. Again, I don't know what the ticket levels are. Wilbur, Boston.

I don't know. Stanford, Connecticut. I don't know. Stamford, Connecticut, I don't know. But the big ones, Buffalo, you're on sale tomorrow. Detroit, Minneapolis are on sale now. Code KFC. Go get tickets. Bye.

How was that? Nashville was good. The Kid Rock jam is always hilarious. That audience. They go hard. It's not audience they go hard it's not they go hard it's like they are exactly what you think yeah yeah i have a new thing about not being in the politics at all and just not giving a shit like i'll go with whatever you're saying just so we can stop talking about we've been doing welcome aboard yeah and i said to him i was like uh i was like i don't but they reacted. Wait, you're talking about Kid Rock himself?

The audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They reacted to every example thing I would get. You know what I mean? I mean, like, back and forth. So the whole point of making the thing, I go, I don't give a shit. I'm like, Biden sucks. And they're like, yeah.

I'm like, Biden rules. And I'm like, boo. And I was like, Trump rules. They're like, yeah. Trump sucks. Boo. The point of the joke is usually to get people to be like, who cares about any of it? But they're like, no, no.

Stop. Go. Stop. Go. No. Boo. Boo. I remember when we were in Nashville last year and Shane had done that.

And he had done his bit about his girlfriend having a Navy SEALX boyfriend. Yeah. That's so good, yeah. And he's like, they all started booing. He's like, all right, 40 minutes of trump impressions coming up and then kid rock came out it was like dude you're killing it keep going oh yeah kid rock loves him so we said when we did the thing last time uh when i before i saw the lineup yeah i was like this is the year me and kid rock are gonna become best friends and then they were should the lineup and i was like shane's's there. I'm like, Shane's going to steal him in a second.

He did. He's just got more in him than I have. When Kid Rock's like, it's 5 a.m., let's go shoot a water buffalo. I'm like, oh, man. I knew it was like a match made in heaven when Shane, like the next day, I think we met up with him. He's like, so me and Bob were doing this and that. I was like, all right.

They're on first name basis. You're going to call him Bobby. He wants you to call him Bobby, that. I was like, all right. They're on first name basis. You're going to call him Bobby. He wants you to call him Bobby, but I still am like, Kid Rock. Well, it's weird. If you talk to him, you can't say like Kid or you can't say Kid Rock. That's weird. Oh, you'd be surprised. I just say nothing.

I call him Hey or Yo. I don't want to call him Bobby and Kid Rock. That sounds stupid. New special, Dog Belly. Crushing. I have a bone to pick with you from it. I've been saving it for this. In it, there's a bit

where you talk about blowjobs and all this stuff. Heard of them. Those are cool. You are saying it in a negative fashion. Toothy. And I know that that is standard, that people think that's – Yes, yes. I don't mind a toothy blowjob.

What? You like a little chew it on your wiener? Dude, what does that mean? I don't know if I have an itchy penis. We must have a different definition of toothy, though. But when a tooth grazes – not biting, not gnawing, obviously, but the I don't mind a little scratch of the pain. Have I got a girl for you.

Have I got so many girls for you. Her name is Barb. She lives upstate. I used to tell a joke about this Barb years ago because I said she was in her 40s. I was in my early 30s or late 20s. There was a lady I met on the road, and she would come around a little bit. And she offered me anything like she – we were hooking up. And she took out my wiener, and she said that.

She goes, you want a little teeth or a lot of teeth that was the only two choices option C please can I get no teeth she said something about her teeth she knew she was like

look one way or another there's no such thing as no teeth I could hyper focus on it and make sure there's a little teeth medium or I could just let it fly

the way I normally do and chew on your pecker how'd it go how'd it go I said no teeth I think she did no teeth Medium. Or I could just let it fly the way I normally do and chew on your pecker. How'd it go? How'd it go? I said no teeth. I think she did no teeth. You went off menu like a Chipotle.

But she had the thing where she was kind of like, okay. Like, I'm the weird one. Like, all right. I guess just mouth and tongue or whatever. Bro, this is... I like my orange juice with no pulp. You're d digging to pulp you can't pose that as i have a bone to pick with you and you're the weirdo that that is like a fella likes what he likes are you talking like uh just like when they're going at it just rubbing like i can understand if you know you're playing around with it you're knocking the balls around you give it a little nibble. You're fucking around and playing.

Where you like when her head is bobbing up and down, you want those molars on your teeth. Yeah, I was going to say, but if there's teeth, when you look down, she's probably like, hi, now. I'm just kidding. You're like, whoa. Yeah, just to let you know, I'm the one in control here right now. I'm calling the shots. I've been in the closet with this for a few years now. With a lot of other things.

Have you got to request it? No, no, no. I would never request something I want in bed. I'm not a pervert. And every time I get a little scratch, I'm always like, Bro, you are a sick pup, man. You are. More of that.

Just like a light scratch feels good everywhere else on the body. Why don't you think it feels good on the penis? I think it's the anticipation of where this could go. I think a light scratch with teeth on your dick is going to make you go like, well, that's just, you know, now you're on guard. You're like, more, more, more. The rest of us are like, whoa, whoa, whoa. If a ceiling fan was spinning right here, you don't know until you look over and you see how close it is.

You're like, uh, uh-oh. Then it's all you can think about. Yeah. Then it's all you can think about. You're like, uh, uh-oh. That is crazy. I keep a stick next to me so I can pry their mouth open like a gator. Does that get me?

No, no. And so if it's going well, are you thinking like, I could use a little more teeth? No, it doesn't happen until it happens. And I'm like, I didn't mind that. That wasn't so bad. Where we take a long time to come and she's like, what can I do, baby?

You go, this is going to sound crazy. Just give it a nibble. Can you chew on it a little bit? Excuse me? We're just chewing the fat over here. I guess it feels good. Like,

self-esteem wise, it feels good if you're getting a toothy blowjob, right? It feels like your dick is... Oh, it's always accidental. Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like, if you had a super small dick blowjob, right? It feels like your dick is – Oh, it's always accidental. Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like if you had a super small dick –

It's like she can't open her mouth big enough to not get teeth. Me and my dick is too big for your teeth. I'm not a snake. Dog belly man is such a fucking – such a description. Like it is – it's spot on accurate. You don't know it until – when you first see the title, it's just like, You don't know it until when you first see the title. It's just like, I don't know what that means. We'll find out.

And when you find out, it's like, ooh. I know. It's funny. You said when I was just in Nashville, Jelly Roll, the performer Jelly Roll. Yeah, sure. Great dude. What an awesome story for him. Crazy.

Just like superstar status now, money. What's his story? I think he was just pretty down and out if i he was in jail for yeah in and out of jail for years and years then he got out this is funny now he's like just beloved i know it's funny what i didn't know about him i thought he was so hilariously like just open about like when someone lives in that world like because i know i say plenty of things that are like and people hear go, you're saying like it's pretty normal. I had that with him. He was like, oh, you never met my wife before?

And I was like, no. And my girlfriend like loves her. I guess she's like a TikTok or Instagram person that's like pretty favorite YouTube. It's like pretty well known. And he was like, oh, no, she's the best. She was a prostitute for 15 years. High end. Let's be straight.

Classy. Wow. What's funny, I'm not like, it's not even like, how is that possible when someone else says it? You're like,

no, I say things like that. High end. I almost feel like Elliot Spencer, we're talking. Come on. Yeah, I was going to say Anthony Weiner.

If it was me, I would also be like, you should be high end prostitute. So what, dude? Life happens. You move on. You find a way to make okay your situation. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, totally, totally. It's like, yeah, man. Look, hey, man. What happened? People go where they go, man. Life is what it is. People have got their journey. Could you marry or date a girl who's a high-end prostitute?

Probably. You think so? It would have to be like, what's the downtime like? I don't know if I could do it currently. But if that was her old life? If it was her two weeks ago life. If she was like, you know what I'm saying? She put in her time.

That's actually probably when you want to catch them. That's when you want them. It's right after they're done. Because they're probably fucking sick of it a couple years in you might start thinking about I used to get flown out to Dubai or whatever I had to quit that big dick after big dick after big dick

it's just time to settle down okay when you are around couples that are that comfortable with their past, I'm like, dude, when I meet a couple, I'm like, you've told her anything? She doesn't know I went to high school. There is nothing I tell this person. I have no interest in sharing nor receiving.

I don't want to know any of your tales. I want to just exist. Yeah, no. I'm a big ask it all. Really? Because of interest or intrigue, or do you think it's hot? It's all of it. My first thing is asking, which is a horrible thing to lure somebody into, essentially.

Because you go, what's the craziest thing? And then they're like, here's the craziest thing. And I'm like, you are a piece of shit. You're someone who shouldn't uh have love in their life and then once i get past that then i'm like it's actually pretty cool you did that you i don't even mean mine isn't even uh sexual it's sexual as well but it's everything i i don't want to know anything about your past. I don't want to know anything about you. I judged so quickly. She goes, well, actually, I beat cancer when I was...

That's not bad of you. Kind of, yeah. Let's get back to me. I've been through it in therapy, but my father used to... No, no, no. You're making jokes. I'm watching Barry. I don't want to know anything.

Bro, I judge so quickly and so harshly that you tell me one thing and it'll just ruin you. I want to know how you are now. You can be like, I played field hockey when I was nine. I'm like, I hate field hockey players. Field hockey. Lesbo. Closet lesbo. You will truly find a way to ruin everything, sir.

It's incredible. People say that I'm negative, bro. You are. It is insane how much you hate life. Because I haven't grown at all ever, I don't believe people grow. When you kill yourself, I'm going to throw a fucking party, bro. Oh, you think it's still them? Yeah, right, right.

No matter what they say? It's like, oh, I used to like the worst music when I was seven. I'm like, oh, I bet you still do. This is like, party who still wishes that fucking... Meanwhile, you are just a picture of cool. We were listening to Shaggy right now. Hey, hey. He had a run there.

Oh, singles. You know, they tell you everything, too. And it's like, that's the old me. Like, you will still accuse them of it today. A hundred percent. Totally. You know what I mean? A tiger can't change its stripes the stripes you know what i mean you're high in prostitute 15 years you know it's probably not yeah it's funny though if you're one thing is the thing it always comes up though do you know i mean like in the morning you're like i know she woke up before me are you high in prostituting again yeah yeah everything is i'm still in my pajamas downstairs he goes

i know but i was about an extra 45 minutes there. I didn't have a high-end prostitute while I was gone, did you? High-end does somehow ease the blow a little bit, though. No, absolutely. I swear to God. No, not some street-walking pig who just blew anyone for $5. She blew a couple guys for lots of money. I don't think that that's crazy i i think that's something i could maybe i could spin that into hot like i could be like

oh that's pretty hot oh because first of all what about a current only fans account that's making money that's that's like yeah like that in the family that is the new thing, right? Like, can you be with a girl like that? I would give it a whirl and give it my best shot. I don't think I'd have a problem with her. I think I'd have a problem with all you guys knowing. Of course. That's the problem. Everyone else finding out.

Being her, it's like we could get into some kinky shit. I can hear the stories. It'll turn me on. You're making money. You're happy. Whatever. We have our agreement on what you can and can't do. All that.

Every time I open my mouth and it's like, your girl's a whore. But that's the problem. That is the world, though, too. If someone goes like, yeah, I suck cock on video weekly for money. And you're like, wow, what a slut. And they go, I make about $30,000 a week. People will be like, okay. Businesswoman. Yeah, I'm going to get about 30 grand a week. People will be like, Businesswoman.

Yeah, I'm like, okay. Go on. The most docile, you know, uptight, I think woman will still be like, 30 grand, huh? Dude, I have said that to a lot of people.

That happened. It's all been desensitized, I think, because of like, the example I always use, I'm like, Jennifer, what's her name,

Jennifer Lawrence? Yeah. It was like pictures of her with her with cum on her face. I still get movie roles. She's still like a sweetheart. There's also a thing though about her putting that out versus she got kind of fucked over. Totally. Releasing, which is a big part of the thing.

There is a big part of it. But there is also something too that just goes like, I never would have thought Jennifer Lawrence was a load on the face gal. Which you end up realizing is like most of these people are. You know what I mean? No, for sure. Listen, that's got to – the impressed nature I have with Pete Davidson isn't that he's getting them. Do you know what I mean?

Like the famous and the famous is that like I've spent time with Pete. I know Pete in a way that I'm just like, dude, what was your thing the first time Kim Kardashian like bends over and pulls her panties down? Are you behind her? Yeah, right. You know, I pinch you. Just a regular person in the world, pretty girl, gets naked in front of you. And you're excited.

Yeah, yeah. Well, now he's got to be used to it. But yeah, that first time, whether it's Ariana Grande or whoever it was, he had to be like, holy fucking shit. I guess. I don't know. Was he always that way with chicks? I mean, I'm sure he did well. Maybe it's just kind of like the dippy, kind of like falls.

I mean, that character in SNL he did was like basically based off of that. He just falls into everything backwards. Like, I need to suck your dick. He goes, I'll take Kate Beckinsale. Dude, that Kate Beckinsale is like... Speaking of Pete, did you see this? He got done dirty last night on Twitter. He was at the Knicks game on Sunday.

And he's obviously getting mobbed as they're all walking out of the arena. And being super gracious, taking a thousand selfies. People screaming. The new shit is you've got to take the person's phone and take the selfie with them and hand their phone back. And there's this dude. He,

let me just follow up for you. He looks like fucking Bernie Madoff. I don't know if you remember that old guy. Sure. And he is like. I got a loan from that guy. People have forgotten Bernie Madoff. I got a subprime mortgage from that guy.

Why? Is there news on him? So the first video that got released was this, and it just says, Pete pushes away a fan at a Knicks game. And first of all, it's relatively harmless. I'm trying to see where Pete is. Oh, sorry.

Okay, I see. He just shoves him quick. Like, get the fuck off me, right? Which in and of itself, I don't think is that bad. Then you see the full fucking version. And like, as he's taking a thousand other selfies, this dude is resting his head on his shoulder and putting his arm around him.

And I think at one point he leans in to kiss him really and pete just keeps being like all right all right all right and then eventually yeah literally yeah on top of on top of being a weirdo and invading personal space he's ruining all the pictures it is funny how excited the kids are to meet him get the fuck out of here yeah yo that that is that i did think that was funny too. You're looking at a bunch of, like, I don't know, 15-year-old boys or some shit. They seem younger than that. Yeah, are they? I don't know my young boys.

Can I smell your wiener? Can I suck your two fingers? Mr. Davidson. Mr. Davidson. When he started that run, like, were you guys all still friendly and talking to him? Oh, yeah, yeah. We went to – he invited us one time, me and Christine. My girlfriend went over to – when him and Ariana Grande first got their place.

It was interesting. Did you have a little double date with him and her? No. I probably thought it was going to be more of like the four of us hanging out. When we got there, it was like in-house tattoos happening and all kinds of like. Get the fuck out. But it was cool in its own way. It was like young people with bottomless money like seeing how it is.

I felt so old. I'm sure. I walked in there. I'm like, this is great. I'm like, hey, this is all Ariana's friends. We're all getting tattooed. And then the best was in the middle of all that, just in the corner, Joey Gay. You know his buddy Joey Gay?

No, who's that? He's a comedian. He's like a 50-year-old comedian. The guy that hangs a peen is like, hey. As we're walking back, I'm like, we're old. And then there's like a 50-year-old guy like, hey. What are you here to do? He's catching that spillover.

For real, Joey Gay must be living it. I mean, I cannot even imagine that whirlwind that he was living, or still is, but there was a time. I don't envy the world very much at all. I mean, like the individual moments, of course you do. We'd all love to fuck Kim Kardashian. I just want on the record, I would love to fuck Kim Kardashian. Of course, We'd all love to fuck Kim Kardashian. I would. I just want on the record, I would love to fuck Kim Kardashian. Of course, we'd all love to.

I don't know if I'd love a four-hour private plane ride to somewhere with her, though. Yeah. I just wouldn't know what to do. Again, that's what is most impressive about Pete's thing. It's like somehow

he's been able to like do that stuff. We're a couple and we're out and about. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. The private plane ride is interesting.

Do you imagine going to Kim Kardashian if she was talking a lot and a thing? Babe, babe. What? Babe, babe, babe, babe. Take it easy on the drinking. Just move my friends today. Look at him. Or just become a dick too.

Men are talking. She's fine. She's fine. She's fine. Why don't you go grab us something to drink What? The fellas You call this a Tom Collins?

You fat ass bitch Pete's okay He's just stressed out from work I never thought of it until you just said it a private plane might fucking suck if you're on the vacation with your family or your uh significant other because the nice part of a plane is when you get on and you can be like it's just understood like headphones yeah headphones on a private plane you're kind of a dick you're also like public so you're like you can't talk too loudly. There's always people around.

It's all just, I'm watching the movie or I got my music in, and if we do talk, it's a quick whisper, two seconds, and then that's it. It's like that Louis joke where you're talking about, that's my vacation, to walk around the car. My vacation is the plane ride. I've done private with a few people, like Oddball tour with Schumer. She was able to get me on that. One time with Bert Kreischer on his tour.

And yeah, you're right. You can't put on your headphones and check out. No. Because then you're an asshole. There's only like eight of you and everyone knows each other usually in some capacity. And then I also, I'm blown away by the fact that we're even in this thing and it's okay. And so that's what ends up happening the rest of the time. Everyone else is like dancing the music and doing things you can't normally do on a plane.

And I just keep sitting in a chair going like, this is crazy. This is nuts. I ask questions. I go, why is it faster? They go, we're flying higher. I go, it's crazy. And I'm like, can we have these fun-sized Almond Joys?

Whatever you want, man. Can I get those little wings that I can stick on at the end? There's always stories of every plane because it's like someone's plane. Yeah. This is Dr. Phil's plane. I start judging that. I go, yeah, it looks like a therapist's plane. Just go around gauging the room.

That's big money. That's when you know you have your own jet. It's one thing if you charter them and go to companies and shit. If you have a jet, fuck you. I think it's like tour bus ownership, though. I think the idea of it is most of the time you're leasing it out. Yeah, so it's like a business thing. Which does make sense, I guess.

But I don't know. I want the private plane experience of, like, can we just walk right Yeah. Like from outside and get off of it and be back outside again. That's the beauty. But can it also just be a regular commercial plane? Yeah. When are we going to just relax with the security? It's been a while. Yeah.

It's been a while since, you know. I think Dave had the idea a long time ago where it's like you can either go. Oh, the risk plane, right? Yeah. You can just take it. What do you think of this? This plane didn't have security. This this plane didn't have security this plane did you can wait in line if you want yeah this might have a bomb on it yeah i didn't check but you're gonna get out of here in an hour yeah i would ride the the full checkpoint one in the mornings on off hour like afternoon

ones i'll take the risk one i got it got to be amped up to fight an A-Rab. Got to get a couple coffees in there. That would be the worst to be Middle Eastern on that plane, the high-risk ones. I swear I'm just in a rush, guys. I just got to get back to my family. God forbid you're sitting in the front of the plane. Everyone's got to walk by you. They're all going to be like, this whole flight, buddy. I got it on you.

But, I mean, the two-hour shit's getting crazy. I mean, you know, I guess you can just not show up and do what they tell you to. But the whole process is just – The shoes are crazy. There's one bomb that did – I don't even know. Did it go off? No, no. It didn't get thrown off.

He got caught on the regular security. He got caught, and then they were like, he had some kind of a weird device in his shoe that probably wouldn't have worked. I was going to say, no chance. If you're dumb enough to do that, then your fucking, your bombs probably suck. The other security caught him. Why did we have to up it? That caught the shoe.

Right, right. And that was back during the Home Alone days, where you could just run on planes. Yeah, and he couldn't even, he didn't even take off his shoe to begin with. They caught him just generally. Yeah, right. Just fucking even, he didn't even take off his shoe to begin with. They caught him just generally. Yeah, right. Bullshit. But it is also nice, too. You watch old Seinfeld episodes, and they're waiting for their friends at a gate.

Oh, those, yeah. No one expects that from you now. Oh, yeah. They pick you up? Yeah, pick you up and waiting at the gate. No, hell no. Get an Uber. Oh, yeah.

You gotta say goodbye at clear pre-check. Yeah, yeah. I say goodbye three hours before that now. It's like, have fun. Oh, yeah. You got to say goodbye at clear pre-check. Yeah. I say goodbye three hours before that now. It's like, have fun. Oh, I say bye. Yeah. If I get dropped off at an airport, it's like, just keep going. Yeah.

Just get out of here. Later. I mean, are you getting sick of the travel at all? Yes. Yeah. You still do it? Yeah, more than ever now. Yeah.

I mean, I guess times are just good. That's the weirdest thing. It's like, I wish I would have. That's the envy I have of Pete Davidson or kind of like a Che when that happened for Michael Che and those guys and seeing the young people pop. It's cool. It's very cool to see Schumer and everything.

Their success is great. But I envy that they have it at an age where it's not so crushing. I was talking to Robert Kelly about this this week. It's like the two festivals we did this week. You have to bounce around. It's, of course, I think a layover to one of them. There's just no way to do it the other way. And I was 25.

Now it's like when I land, I'm like, I can't hear out of my left ear. Bro, when I went to Amsterdam, my feet swelled up like big. I couldn't walk. I was like, what is this? I have to say words like sciatica now. Sciatic nerves bothering me. And none of these when I was younger. Dude, I –

I couldn't wait to go. Also, when I was younger, they would have been like, yeah, we can give you the gig, but it's like seven days, 13 shows. And I'm like, perfect. Can't wait. I can stay at a hotel and eat Panda Express for 13 days. Nashville and Moon Tower are both this week? Yeah, they're both this week.

Is it always like that? It is now. The last two years, yeah, they've gone over each other because they do two weeks of Moon Tower now. Oh, okay. Just for laughs bought it. And then the Nashville is just the one week. But the Nashville one, they're both fun.

Yeah, and we were at the Nashville one last year. It was awesome. Yeah, Nashville's great. It's a kid rock comedy jam. We didn't shoot guns the way I thought we were. We tried to, after the show,

me and Robert Kelly, we were at the after party thing at his bar and we were there for like 20 minutes and then we're like, all right, let's get out of here.

Let's go say goodbye to Kid Rock and I did, Bobby took a picture of me. He should have taken a video. But Bobby was so disappointed in me because when I went to say goodbye to him, Kid Rock, I was like, hey, man, thank you again for having me on the show, a second year and blah, blah, blah.

And he goes, yeah, he goes, come here for a minute. And I kind of walked through the circle of people to go with him. And then Bobby just watched me give him five minutes of the least toothy blowjob. I mean, that could have been my, I was like, I mean, I went through all of them. I go, 1999, Summer Sanitarium. Power Man 5000. He played every year on the stage. And luckily, I think he was drunk enough to be like, oh, here's a crazy thing that happened there.

And then as soon as he finished, I go, and then? And Sturgis, one time I saw you. Chris Farley shit. Yeah, I really did a Chris Farley show. And he's like, okay. We were in Nashville. That was two years ago, three years ago, whatever it was. Was it?

No, it wasn't. It wasn't last year, no. It was last year. Yeah, it was. Sure it was. Because that's when we planned the thing with Bert. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah.

Three years ago. You're an idiot. I don't know what time. I don't know what day it is. But we were getting dinner with the Vrabels, and he was telling us a story about how during the pandemic, they had gone to see a private Blake Shelton show, maybe, or something like that. Oh, or something like that. Oh, yeah.

On Broadway. And it was, like, masks, and everyone was separated and all this stuff. And then they looked across the street, and Kid Rock's bar had never shut down. And he's like, motherfuckers are just hanging out the windows, like, partying hard. I guess Kid Rock just paid the fine every day to stay open.

Really? He got fined every day. He just goes late. Can't run. Doesn't give a fuck. They were like, when we left that thing, it's funny. Again, that's age hitting where you don't even have the FOMO of it. Someone sent me a thing, a video.

They were like, dude, you guys left early. He goes, this is 2.30 in the morning. And it's like, kid Rock on stage. Lean on me. When you're on. I'm like I'm alright I'm good I'm good

Also when it's like Oh man I just left It's like bro I was gone at like 10 Yeah There was no chance I was making it Until 10.30

That was two more hours I've already told him About every time I've ever seen him live What's left to talk about I already informed him Of all the tours he's been on

that I've seen. He gave me a little doodad on each one and then we moved on. Even here, like, I see some of the, like,

the kids who are like 25 doing, and now the barstool is what it is. Because when I was that age, it was, we were growing it, you know?

And that was cool in its own right, but it, there were no, the highest level of perk was like you get some free beers at the bar yeah and now it's like yeah we'll fly you out private to like the festival and put you up in a hotel and blah blah blah and i'm like oh that's like billy madison i'm like i don't think you kids realize what you've got you know oh yeah that's what i went on that first one um that's what i've noticed with a lot i think pete had that i think schumer's had this too i've gotten to watch that i'm pretty impressed by it it's probably part of the reason why like success kind of happens like they don't seem blown away

by the like holy shit of the situation you know it's one thing i've always liked you're saying the really famous people aren't like impressed by it maybe they were at a point but like because i'm seeing them in it already yeah but it's interesting to have like a like sal volcano from the impractical jokers you know i mean like he and again we're close friends so it's probably why i see that side more but he's definitely has like that kind of feeling of like this is crazy isn't it yeah like isn't this not i think that's good we're here i think it's a good thing to have too what i thought was interesting was coming back on that private jet. It was like Aziz and Amy. This isn't even a shit talk on them.

It's great. Aziz and Amy were just like, partying is the wrong word, but just like dancing, the music, and like, you know, ordering this. What they do. Yeah, and I was just like, I don't know. I was really sitting there. I was like, are we allowed to stand? We can?

Like, it seems that we can. They need to know I'm here. And I was impressed. I'm like, wow. Like the thing of just, it's like, yeah, this is what happens. You're in entertainment.

You're in showbiz. And I'm like, that's not the kind of showbiz I've been in for the past 20 years. A different world, dude. You still have, I think, honest to God,

one of my favorite stories ever told on this podcast. And I tell like, anytime someone mentions Big Jay, I'm like, Big Jay told the funniest fucking story. When you went, you were in Philly, and you were, like, driving. I didn't know what you were going to say. You were, like, driving. You were doing, you were dressing up in costume for parties.

And then also, like, at night, that was, like, you were driving around in strippers. And you told, I think you dressed up as Winnie the Pooh. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, that is. Oh, yeah, yeah. With two babies. With two babies and an angry family. This is the showbiz I know. I dressed up as Winnie the Pooh.

And danced to the chronic. It's like doing that while doing comedy. Because you're like, well, I have to make money. So I've got to do that. If I'm ever going to get on that private jet, you know? And I'm sure everyone has stories like that, you know, not to that extent, but to, like, you know, Amy Schumer could tell you some time before she was on private jets. Of course.

Are you cool with her? Huh? Are you cool with Amy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, she's been, like, Amy's been good to me through my career. As far as, again, personally, she was kind of the first generation of comics that were younger than me, even if it's, like, slightly started after me,

I should say, that, like, zipped by. Yeah. But it was, like, that was the first time of that where I saw that, and I thought I was, like, well, there's no reason to be, like, angry at that. You know what I mean? Like, you can't get angry and start being, like, it's probably better for me. You can, like, fake fake a friendship but if you like a person to begin with like

why would you not be friends because they're getting popular you know i mean like i wouldn't like cut them out of my life but but it's only natural i think to be well yeah we were never like every day or whatever no for sure listen those things happen but you know i started i started with kevin hart so like i had to really process those feelings. That is... And it took probably a long... 15 years, probably, to really process that, to be like... I said the interesting one was calling Kevin Hart to say, like, when I got my hour Comedy Central special,

when it was booked, before I even did it or anything, when it was booked, it was an immediate emotional change that I remember calling him and being like, you know, it's funny, I always tell the narrative sort of that I'm like, yeah, you know, not that he's a piece of shit or anything, but just like, yeah, he went to L.A. and then he became sort of famous and, like, his world's like these famous friends. And I was like, yeah.

I never, like, tried to stay hardcore and touch-tho either because I was like, then you have to be faced with, like, you know, I was like, hey, Kev, I was thinking about you today when I was, you know, spending my last $20 on fast food. Right. Because we have to eat. Right. And I was thinking of this story, you know, and he's like, hang on, I can't hear you. I'm boarding a private plane.

Hang on a second. Shut up, Dwayne Wade. I'm on the phone. What? And I'm like, no, we don't. And I would have just not processed that. No, that's, I mean, that is, it's probably one of – I guess music also because in sports, you know like you know who's like an NBA talent, a professional talent from like when you're a kid. Yeah.

Like this kid is going to be good and some make it, some don't. But you know for a while whether you're on the path. Music and comedy are two things where there is a path but then there are other people who just – Just ain't people, yeah. two things where you know there is a path but then there are the people who just and you don't you don't see you know one day you're in the gutter with someone and the next day they yeah now now even more than ever your viral and when he comes on howard stern years ago said something like that which i think also affected like me in that kind of the way of treating people like that and it was uh she was i'm trying to remember exactly what it was. She was saying about, like, when she was, like, overnight almost,

when she popped, Whitney Cummings, she was, like, it went from, like, all my friends who we were, like, splitting a tub of popcorn at the movie theater and going to the afternoon movie because it was cheaper and all going just, like, kind of, like, that, like, camaraderie and stuff. Then I popped, and then these people were, like, the first people that were, like, fuck her. Really? She sucks and everything. And I'm, like kind of like that camaraderie and stuff. Then I popped and these people were like the first people that were like, fuck her. Really?

She sucks and everything. I'm like, that blows. It's just their own like shit. Yeah. It's like when people say more money, more problems or whatever. Money isn't like buy happiness. Biggie Smalls said that. It's like I understand where people are.

I have a dream. I've heard that. I used to read Word Up magazine. I understand where people who don't have money are like, shut the fuck up. But it's also like, what, you can't understand that there's another set of problems that comes with the money? Of course there is, for sure. Is it hard for you to imagine that it's easier over here, but maybe harder over here? Well, I have just the fact that the last few years have gone, like, much better for, you know, my most successful years in comedy.

It does bring its own batch of, like, shit. Yeah. Yeah, you have to, like, oh, now more people need it also somehow. It really is, man. Bills grow and problems with people who used to be close. And again, I wouldn't trade it. Like, yeah, I would rather that than not being able to eat. For sure, of course.

But it's not that it's all roses but in a situation uh i'm in too is that like uh you almost have again when it kind of happens like i was like 40 or something you know i mean where you start having some money it's that age it's just you have to kind of go like you're gonna rush backwards like okay man like i gotta buy a house you know i mean it's like i'm 45 now it's insane i never even thought about buying a house until now. And that's like a wild thing. Did I tell you guys that when I was here? I know I've told it on things, but about like

seeing someone else's success. I tell you that Kevin, going to visit Kevin Hart in Sacramento. I've told this, but I'll do it fast because it's just, it's a joke without having the right, it's a joke without having the right anything. I was in, the first time ever, this is years ago now was in the first time ever, this is years ago now,

but the first time ever headlining Sacramento Punchline. And I forget exactly which direction this was, but me or Kevin Hart, one of us saw the other person was in town. He was playing the Arco Arena. I was doing seven shows in three days at whatever, Punchline, or four days. But I was excited about it.

I was like, oh, headlining the Punchline. I've opened here before, so this is great. You know, I'm making my – I'm making $1,000 or whatever it is. I was like, this is awesome. Hotel. There's a Chili's across the street. Nothing could have been gone better for me. And he goes – I think Kevin was like, come over and hang out.

Like, come say – you know, come to the hotel and hang out and i was like okay and i jumped you think you would have sent me a car but uh i jumped in a cab and the cab driver just goes hey what are you are you switching hotels like i didn't see you don't have any bags but you're going from one hotel to the other it's a little invasive in hindsight but i go, Shut the fuck up and drive. Yeah, head around. I go, but I was like,

you know, part of me is kind of like, oh, this guy is going to blow his mind. Yeah, yeah. I tell him, you're driving me to go see Kevin. So I give him like the whole spiel

of like, yeah, I'm a comedian and I'm here doing the punchline, all these shows and I go, I started comedy with Kevin Hart

and Kevin Hart's in town and he's like, oh yeah, he's playing in the arena. I'm like, yeah,line, all these shows. And I go, I started comedy with Kevin Hart. And Kevin Hart's in town. And he's like, oh, yeah, he's playing in the arena. I'm like, yeah, so we're going to go catch up and hang out. And he starts asking me a bunch of questions about being a comedian and stuff and how, you know, this and that. You're out here, you're headlining. Yep, I'm feeling good. And he goes, wow, that's cool.

He goes, do you think I can get tickets? And I was like, yeah, dude, I'll get you tickets. Like, you know, what do you, let me know what show you want to come to. He goes, there's more than one show. And I'm almost in my head going like, I think I said I'm doing seven shows already. Oh, no. And I was like, yeah, there's like seven shows. He goes, oh, no, I meant for like the Kevin Hart show.

And I was like, I was like, no. I was like, no, I don't like that. No, I can't. He was like, oh, sorry. Then it was just an awkward, silent rest of the drive. Then when I'm getting out of the cab, he goes, take my card.

It's hard to get a cab out. It was before Uber was everywhere. He goes, take my card. It's hard to get a cab out here. Give me a five-minute heads up and I'll come by and take you back And I was like, okay And then I went to meet Kev was in He goes, hey, I'm in the gym

At the hotel Which for whatever reason Had its own entrance outside I've never seen that Usually the gym's in the hotel Somewhere that's like Halfway down the other block And I stood there.

That's the other thing, too. So Kev's tiny and he's working out. Looks fantastic. You were standing in the gym while he worked out? Standing. He didn't tell me I was coming over for a work. He goes, come to the hotel. So I'm standing close.

I mean, everything... Outside shot. And I might just be remembering this because it's funny and didn't happen or I said it or did I... I may have held his ankles while he did the sit-ups or something. Outside shot. I don't know if I'm remembering that because it's a funny thing I've said or if I did it.

Let's do it. I'll say one thing for sure I did do was stand sideways on the treadmill next to him while he was jogging and talking. And I just stood there. You didn't even put on like a slow walk. I was in my stage clothes.

I was in my stage shorts and sweatshirt. Bro, you at least got to hit like a three incline on one speed. Something. Anything. Anything.

Grab a five pounder and just do this like an old lady. Just grunt a couple times. Yeah, that. Or just one, just one push benches or something. I was going to do high like an old lady. Just grunt a couple times. Yeah, that. Or just one push benches or something. I was going to do high weight, low rep. Nope.

I sat there and talked to him while he worked out. And they weren't all like conversational workout conducive movements. You know what I mean? You can't like do chin-ups and chat. Chat, talk. So I sit there with him. How long does this go on for? 20, 30 minutes.

Oh, my. Yeah, enough, enough. So then he goes, let's go upstairs. And I go, okay. We walk out of the gym. It's a half a block. It shuts the city down. And he didn't have any security or anything with him either. He was just doing it by

himself, but we're walking. And I mean, people are out of buildings, car stop. It's just nuts. 30 people. And it's half a block. 30 people were alerted just by seeing him and losing their minds. Then I'm also getting upset because I'm like, no one's going

it's Big Jay and Kevin Hart. They're genuinely going, that's the guy who makes sure we don't kidnap Kevin Hart. That's all it looked like. And we go up to the hotel. I just saw that guy bench in 240. Once.

So they we go upstairs to the room and the room all his boys are up there and they're playing video games, and there's five trays of lobster. Oh, my God. Lobster shells at this point now. Yeah.

I'm like, wow. He goes, you want a lobster, man? We can get you a lobster. I'm like, I'm okay. Thank you. I'm just kind of drinking. The hotel room is a four-bedroom place. He's showing me all this. He's not being a dick at all. He's being going, he's showing me just like all this.

He's not being a dick at all. He's being great. He's showing you his life. Yeah. And almost just like, he goes, you want to see the intro for the new special?

I'm like, sure. It's going to be on, you know, this was one of the first we're going to the theater, I think. And he's like,

yeah, look at this. And it was like the pyro going off like fire. And they're showing, he's showing the stage. It's going to like shoot him out of the ground and everything. And I'm like the pyro going off, like fire. And they're showing the stage. It's going to shoot him out of the ground and everything. And I'm like, OK.

It's like also in a way, you know what I mean? You're just seeing how different the lives are. And you're like, oh, man. And so I'm trying to find some, just something to connect of like this. You know, there's a guy who used to like, we used to stay over each other's houses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And play video games all night, you know. So I'm trying to find some common ground or something.

His friends are all playing, this is Xbox 360 times, and they're all playing NBA. And so I look over to the couch. He has like a big entourage. He rolls deep. Yeah, yeah. At least that's what he was. And I was like, oh, Kev.

I was like, you know what? I go, something's never changed. All this, right? He goes, still lugging the Xbox 360 everywhere for NBA? I go, I don't mind, too. He goes, I got to bring an extra backpack every week to, like, bring this Xbox with me. Me and your brother. I was like, but, you know, you got it hooked up in the room right now.

And he goes, what? Oh, the Xbox? He goes, yeah, you know, we just, like, when we land, we send, like, a runner to grab it. And then we just leave it for security. We leave it for housekeeping. I was like, I got to go. I got to go. I have to go get ready or whatever I said.

I leave. I call the guy. I'm just stressing. Again, it's not like, fuck care. It's just like, I have done nothing. I have achieved nothing. I am no one. The thing I felt great about flying out there, now I's just like, you know, I have done nothing. Like I have achieved nothing. I am the one. Yeah. You know,

the thing I felt great about flying out there. Now I'm just like, asshole doing seven shows for whatever, 800 bucks or whatever. Bringing your own Xbox. Yeah. Carrying it around like an asshole. It's my shoulders are sore.

And I'm just, and I call the guy to pick me up. He picks me up. And right away, he's doing like the, how was it? And you're like, it was fine. I'm like, stop talking to me like I just want to make a wish. I know him.

Meanwhile, I'm the one who told him all about it. You guys asking questions. I'm like, don't ask me questions. So I get in the car and I'm just like, yeah, it was good, dude. It was fine. And I was like, I told you, we're old friends. It's not like, you know, it wasn't like you get to meet a fan or something. And he was like, yeah. He goes, but I got to say, too, man, I really feel like an asshole.

This is the guy, the driver, for that asking for Kevin Hart tickets. He goes, and maybe it's too late. He's like, but if I would really love, like if the offer's still on the driver, for that, asking for Kevin Hart tickets. He goes, and I'm, maybe it's too late. He's like, but if I would really love, like if the offer's still on the table, I'd love to come see one of your shows for sure. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll get you taken care of. And he was like, yeah. And then he starts like the oversell of just like, he's like, oh man, can we take a picture after the show?

Like I'm bringing my girl. Like my girl's going to be blown away that I know the comedian. You're going to be up there. I'm like, yeah, I know that guy. He's a weird guy already, so he's being kind of like overdramatic about the whole thing, how great it's going to be. Is there food there and stuff? Yeah, they got food.

He goes, oh, dude, what do you think I should come to? I go, I think the late shows are always fun. Whatever you want to come to, though, I'll get you taken care of. And he's like, oh oh this is going to be great And then another like 15-20 minutes of silence For the rest of the ride and we pull up To the hotel That I'm in which by the way also a shitty hotel

We pull up to the hotel and I'm like alright cool man And I start getting out of the car and realize He's not like I need to get his information so I go, do you want to give me your info so I can make sure I get you tickets? And he just looks back and he goes, I'll be honest, man, I'm not going to call you. And I said I had to go inside and call my mom. I was like, I just saw Kev's thing and he's so big and so –

and this guy says to me, I'm a failure. I should have went to college. You're right. I respect the honesty. But God damn, that's fucking tough. That's fucking. He's just rude. All he takes to this, he goes, he thought I was such a doof.

And he was like, let me make this kid feel better. Let me break this guy off some crates. And then he goes, I don't care. I don't care to see you at all. It's probably, and by the way, to his credit,

he has an argument and he goes, that guy wasn't funny in the cab at all once. All he did was talk about Kevin Hart. He bragged about what he was doing, talked about Kevin Hart,

wouldn't get me tickets. And then he got all sad when I didn't want to come to his show so then I told him I would come and then he seems all bitchy when he was doing. Talk about Kevin Hart. Wouldn't get me tickets. Then he got all sad when I didn't want to come to his show, so then I told him I would come. And then he seems all bitchy when he gets out. That guy thinks I suck. He went from thinking you were Kevin Hart's make-a-wish-to-his-own. He's like,

I gotta brighten up this little guy's day. I gotta make this kid feel better. He looks sad. Hey, I'll come to your show, stupid. Really? Nah. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. My biological father and that guy are the two people

who have done that to me. I'll be there. Wait outside. Then I have to go to the clubber and he goes, did I ever come in here and say he was on the list? Maybe he's just kidding. Maybe he's still coming. Tomorrow, tomorrow. The seventh show.

He'll be there. He'll be there. He's busy. He's got a lot of drives tonight. You're a dad. Your daughter's older, right? Like you had kids when you were young. How old were you?

I was 24 when she was born. That's not like crazy young, but it's fucking young. It's young in hindsight. Yeah. Like I'm at 45 now. Like it does show me how like, how young it actually is. I mean, I find it to be incredibly hard. Four years older than my daughter.

My daughter, it seems every bit like 20. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like if she was like, I'm going to have a kid now, you'd be like, are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah. I'm like, you're throwing it all away.

Yeah. The way I did with you. You know Casey Neistat, the YouTuber? Yeah. Do you know who he is? He's just like a – Nick, I don't even know how you describe him. Just a YouTuber. I don't know what he does.

He was like the original vlogger, I think. Yeah, basically. So he posted the other day. He said, happy 25th birthday to my son. I was like, goddamn. And he goes, he's now seven years older than I was when I had him. That seems like a rubbing when you're already famous. You know, you're seven years older than I was at a time when I got famous.

No, no, when he had him. Oh, how old is he now? I don't know. I mean, so he had him. Oh, how old is he now? I don't know. I mean, so he had the kid when he was like 16. So, do the math. Wait, no, 18. 25? He was, maybe he was 20.

Whatever it was, it was like 17, 16 area. I was like, holy fucking shit. I did see it at the Ryman Auditorium. Kid Rock's son, who was an adult. half black, half white, missed opportunity, not named Rap Rock. You got a half black kid and you're Kid Rock. How is your kid's name not Rap Rock? Actually, it should just be Rap Rock. Take the family names. Actually, it should just be Rap Rock.

The family name. Kid Rock. I'm Kid Rock. This is Rap Rock, my boy. So when you're like, you're 24 and you're, you know, like you're working Winnie the Pooh jobs and doing comedy and shit like that. Well, that was done by then. When I was 24, I was just doing doing stamp but i was doing a lot of black circuit comedy stuff still because like they paid better yeah yeah yeah and uh just kind of bridging

those two with the mainstream it is uh it's funny i've said this to my daughter before too and it's it's interesting to watch my friends most of my friends are fathers now and they've done it in a very different path that i see the pros and cons of each their kids when they're having kids now and like the last like 10 years their kids are having much more like you know they're going to this really nice schools they could think about they're taking all these classes and jujitsu and yeah and you know they're able to do it it's not like stressing them out like financially, financially is great. I had the opposite of that, but,

so it slowed my career down for sure, having a kid that young, because I also was present. Yeah, you know, traveling. Right there, yeah. And it was, but not that I didn't want to do those things, but I just wasn't happy. Sucker, present. But I mean, but I'm saying, but in that,

it's not even a brag, like, in that presence, it's definitely, like, slowed my career down, I think, a lot. Because I just never did... I was so many years into comedy before I... It's only probably been in the last 10 years or so that I can go to L.A. and I know everybody there. I can get on stage, no problem. It's like I'm known for the longest time.

Because I had friends who were going out there like, I'm just going to couch surf for pilot season. I'm going to go on a thing and you're like yeah I can't just go somewhere and only spend money like I have to be making money if I'm going but now having her at 45 which I know is an old and for her being like 20

it's own set of worries obviously but she is a good kid and like now now you can do what the fuck you want and I have friends now that are still like I got the kid tomorrow

the kid's tomorrow and you're like idiot are you too old to say something like that that's the Vargasi has been about that

that like watching Teen Mom he's like these kids gotta figure it out they're done they're wrapped up. It sucks for a little while.

If I had a kid by the time when I was a teenager, she'd be out of the house by now. I mean, I've said it a million times before. It's like you give up basically all your 30s and most of your 40s, and then even when you're in your 50s, if you have it at traditional times, you're still worried about them. Maybe you're putting them through college they're out of college and you still have to pay for them whatever those like the the years of your life

that you're working you make money you should be doing what you want and it's like oh well we'll go on vacation when i'm 60 fucking five yeah i can't even walk anymore so let's just give up the entirety of the middle of our lives when we're making money for these motherfuckers. You do that shit when you're 16 and you're done when you're 32. Whatever. Fucking call it a day. That's so nice. Yeah, I mean, that is... Yeah, that's gotta be nice. Now I call her up and I'm like, yo, let's go see Rage Against the Machine.

That's also cool, too. You can do shit with them and kind of enjoy your success. Our dad-daughter divide is so firm in the world, though, of what i know it is like she now knows that i smoke pot and i will like smoke in front of her i know for a fact that she has smoked pot and probably does like like once in a while not in front of me yeah no no that's it i'll do it for her still but i'm just like i just can't see i'm already just getting

used to even at 20 i'm just getting used to now. Even if she's quoting, she doesn't really do it in her own words. But she'll be like, and then the guy in the store was yelling like, fuck you to this lady. And I'm like, Isabella. Can't see the F word. I really do still feel that when she curses. Even I'm like, Don't curse like that Is she

I'm so tired of mom's shit First of all, watch your mouth Second of all I agree Me too I have been for a long time Is she a fan? I always think that's weird.

My daughter? Yeah, of your work. We both tell everyone in our family, and it's different than kids, but I'm always like, don't listen to podcasts. Don't, you know, just stop. This is not me, and I don't want to talk about it. But eventually, you know. She does.

Well, she likes the world, for sure, of it all, like the comedy and knowing, for her, how cool it looks that she knows Michael Che like likes the world for sure of it all like the comedy and like knowing for her how cool it looks that she knows like michael che sure sure sure those people have been around like her life and she knows like that is cool for her i don't know what she i think she like i think she thinks i'm good at comedy i don't know if like it's the thing she would like if i'm her like cup of tea necessarily like you're not like i think she's good at it but she like yeah it's like and she laughs for sure but i mean like you know it's funny when you see those things it's also funny seeing a 20 years old her getting her own tastes on comedy particularly and it's someone you know she's like uh because i told her

i was doing the rounds for the special like getting uh with the one of the podcasts and she's like are you doing theo vaughn's podcast? I was like, I didn't know she knew Theo at all. I'm like, yeah, I think at some point. Why?

She's like, oh, I was just asking. Why? She goes, I just see his clips on like TikTok and stuff. You like Theo Vaughn? She's like,

yeah. Just quietly. It doesn't matter. It's okay. You can like whoever you like. Yeah, but now what if she likes some trash comedy? Some shit that you think is hack.

Train her better than that. The problem is when she meets somebody that an acquaintance that you like that is a hack and she's like, I really like so-and-so. And you go, well, I can't shit on that person. I do like them, but Isabel, you should have better... Come on. where's your taste

we worked on this I think Bert talked about that with his kids his kids don't really like his comedy but then I love Shane

your dad does right but even if your dad well I was with Chappelle famously I had that thing it was so funny Chappelle's like

kids love Kevin Hart I don't think he's like that yeah that's my dad Kevin Hart I can't believe my dad knows Kevin Hart right you could be he's like that I was like yeah that's my dad Kevin Hart I can't believe my dad knows Kevin Hart right you could be the fucking

even if you are their type of humor they're just gonna be like fuck you dad I remember coming in to talk about one of my things I would always tell about

Kev like the examples of our thing was that at one point when we were younger he had to put his phone bill in mine

or his electric bill in my name because like it was just way past due and it was like, let's just start over. And so he put it in my name and I was like, sure. I didn't have any credit anyway. I'm like, yeah, ruin it.

What do I care? So – and I always, like, pull that thing out. I'm like, yeah, this is a guy that went from, like, you know, my electric bill to be in his name to, like, you know, he's got a mansion in every state probably he could have. And we had – after the Eagles won the Super Bowl, we had a rare opportunity to have Nick Foles in

for the Bonfire, Sirius XM show. And I was like, oh my God, yeah. Yes, let's have him in for sure. Then they called back and they go, okay, he said he'll do it.

But like it's, the book he's pushing is like a religious book. Oh boy. He's a religious guy. Yep, yep, yep, he said he'll do it. But the book he's pushing is a religious book. Oh, boy. He's a religious guy. Yep, yep, yep, yep. He just doesn't want... Forget the subjects.

No cursing, no blah, blah, blah. And then I just... My own ego hit where I was like, well, no, I don't want Adam Cummings. He's going to come in and not like me. Or even if he likes me, he wouldn't like actual me yeah yeah yeah he's like me so i'm like gonna play the game he wants me to play and i'm like yeah i was like no actually let's just not have him in and then i got the phone and i went oh wait a second

the first eagles super bowl that is i was like yeah i should bend to this and at least if we talk for 15 minutes. Right. Let's have that moment. Actually, it was too late. I go, let's have him. And they go, all right, he'll come in. And I remember we got through the thing.

He was great. He was very cool and, like, fun. I didn't incur. Everything was, like, fine. And then at the, like, any last things for Nick? And I was like, yeah, I want to ask you this. I go, what was a better feeling? I go, was it that

ball hitting the ground, no flags, all zeros on the scoreboard, and you realize you just won the first Super Bowl in franchise history for the Eagles? Or seeing Kevin Hart get physically removed from the stage for trying to drunkenly get on it? Just a joke, basically, I was saying that.

And he goes, oh man, I was actually so bummed about that. He goes, I really, really wanted to meet Kevin Hart. And I was like, his electrical used to be my name. And he went, what? And I went, I'm the fan. I'm an actual fan. Son of a bitch. I remember just to trail off, I was like, oh, his electrical used to be my name.

Excuse me? And I went, it doesn't matter. I remember just that trail. I was like, oh, his electrical used my name. Excuse me? Doesn't matter. Doesn't even matter. You're not going to believe me anyway. You know Kevin Hart. No, I can't get you tickets to his show. I had the greatest situation. I love the Sixers and Eagles.

Those are my two teams, the two sports I care about, and I love them. And I would always complain that I go to these games now, and now I'll pay for the tickets, the good tickets. I know where I want to sit, behind which bench for which part of the game, and I'll pay for them now. I only go to like three a year or something anyway. It's a good amount. Yeah, for football, it's for like Sixers,

and then I get to get one, maybe two Eagles games if I can. But I'll pay the money and sit up front. But I also get frustrated that with all the broadcasting I do and things and the stuff I've worn and stories I've told, like, my Philly teams give me zero, like, love from the team. The only person I know, which is awesome, by the way, he was a radio guy or is a radio guy in Philly, is the in-house announcer. His name is Matt Cord.

He's the guy that does the color in stadium, which is awesome. And before the games, when we go, he'll let us come down and, like, watch the practice from the floor, you know, the shoot- when before the games when we go he'll let us come down and like watch the practice from the floor you know the shoot around before the game he'll just watch that and then we go to our seats it's all nice i um i've tried to get season tickets before like a seats that i want and i could tell like i've the process is so tedious to get season tickets, at least in Philly. It's like you have to join like a fan club thing and then go on a list. I remember asking that guy, Matt Cord, one day if I could. He goes, is there anything you could do?

I'll pay. I'll pay for season. I just want to get like a 10-game package, great seats. I just want to not think about it anymore. He goes, oh, he goes, yeah, let me have corporate accounts, like, reach out to you. And you could tell that when he spoke to them, I could tell by when the guy spoke to me, that when he spoke to them, he did a, he goes, I need you to call a guy because he's looking for season tickets. He goes, Big Jay Oakerson.

And I could tell the guy he said that to went, okay. And just, like, had no idea who that is. And when I called, I was like, he's like, yeah, Matt told me to call you. So you're looking for some season tickets. I went, yes, I am. And he goes, you got to go sign up for the Sixers fan club. And I was like, no. I was like, so this isn't a help at all.

And I kind of complained. And then when I go to the games and I sit in the seats, I can tell you, if you put on a Sixers, any game, random audience right now on a screen, I will tell you who almost everybody is in the front row. Down from this guy who wears the six man, the old man who always is in trouble in the playoffs for arguing with players. He owns the dorms at University of Pennsylvania. Then it's Shyamalan and his girlfriend on the other side of the scores bench. Or a lawyer named Tom Klein and his child bride who never cares about the game.

Phone the whole time. Feet on the floor. God damn it. So I sit there, and whenever the game's not happening, I gleam at this front row like, one time. They haven't offered me once, one game. Crazy. They asked me one time, they had me down where I was going to ring the bell before the game.

Yeah. Then they go, sorry. Vince Papali wants to do it. The fictitious, fancy play. You know, that's the guy who got on the Eagles from... Oh, Invincible. I knew I recognized the name. To Invincible, which, by the way, that play is not the way it happens.

The big show at the end is not how it happened. It was a complete accident, and it worked out. Really? I think they do it in the movie right after the thing. They show the play like this crazy, awesome, like, whoa, he did a play. The actual play was like pure accident. Something happens. Like, the ball just ends up in his hands.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one's paying attention yet, so he's like, uh. And he got in. I think Joe Montana recently said that about Rudy. Where he's like, we didn't lay down our fucking jerseys for Rudy. Are you fucking crazy? He's like, maybe a few people in the crowd said Rudy, but no one was chanting Rudy. Yeah, they have to pipe it up for the thing.

So I'm sitting in the seat. And it's a break in the action. And I'm staring at that front row and complaining to my girlfriend. I'm like, this is crazy. I go, look how little they care about that front row. And I get no love here at all, and a guy behind me, like, taps me, and he points up to the screen. And I'm on it.

And I hear Matt Cord, the guy I know, go, oh, boy, is that him right there? Is that the guy? And I genuinely sit back like this and I go and then it moves it goes to somebody else and he goes is that him how about this guy over here and then it just pulls back on another guy

and he goes no there he is it's our shit razors beard of the game so I was like, this is the most depressing. So I go, so I go,

uh, no, but here's the thing. So I go, oh, well at least I did notice in the thing, like they really left it on me for like probably seven, eight seconds or something.

Everyone else is just kind of like him, him, him. And I was like, oh, that was Matt, like, recognizing me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a little, like, kind of like. Give him some shine. Just like a quiet, like a little quiet burn.

And I'm like, that's kind of cool. And I didn't tell him I was coming to that game. So that was pretty neat. And then afterwards, the game, I go over behind him and I go, Matt, Matt. He turns around, he goes, Jay, I didn't know you were coming to the game. He wasn't even that and I go, Matt, Matt. He turns around and he goes, Jay, I didn't know you were coming to the game. He wasn't even that. He didn't even recognize me. I was just a loser for shit beer to the game.

That is so weird because in certain circles, whether it's the skanks and skank fest or bonfire or just the comedy world in general you are talked about it at the top of the top like you know the best storyteller like in the world the best stand-up performer they've ever seen you know nobody wants to follow you all of that i mean i've never heard anything but that and the people who know the fans who know no and will be you know you're on everyone's top five top three whatever mount rushmore all

that shit and then they're you know in the comedy world you can be all that and then you can be the guy who walks down the street and loses the shit fucking beard contest and then you know except for you know uh chapelle louis and you know a couple guys it's like good about that mike finoy is great comic too told me like he made an analogy one time that like kind of eased my mind to also for what it makes me realize more like what i want and what i like like i genuinely don't at this point now this is like again probably older realizations but like i don't want to walk down the street and be i see like sal volcano and like what like if we are walking from one place to another we have to make make genuine decisions en route.

It's crazy. Walking because you're like, yeah, and he has to put his hood up. Or you're going to be stopped constantly. Not that you don't love the fans. Sure, you appreciate that, but it sucks. Yeah, it's a very, very interesting life on what it is you want. I realize now I want the success, financial obviously, first and foremost. And respect of the people you

work with and your fans but he made the analogy to Mike Fennoy like not everyone's gonna be like you know Guns and Roses or like the biggest you know Taylor Swift and all that stuff he goes some people are gonna be like he said Fish and like Grateful Dead

even though I'm not a fan of like that music necessarily he's like the thing about the Grateful Dead Or Phish Never a radio song in their entire career But if they were like Next weekend we're doing a 100,000 people Field In bum fuck Pennsylvania

It'll be sold out And you're kind of like hoping Yeah I would rather have that I'm fine with my fans knowing me there is a point where I go to the airport three times at an airport on average

someone is just kind of like you know Big J when you walk by and you're cool and you get a little can I come back and take a pic like sure you know what I mean

but it's not like that feels good and then that's what you need I don't have people like holding cameras over people's heads that sucks and I think there is a point where when you're younger you say like oh I don't have people holding cameras over people's heads. That sucks. And I think there is a point where when you're younger, you say, like, oh, I don't want that.

I don't want that game. But you do want it. But then there is a point where it's like, no, I truly don't. I would love the money that comes along with that. But there is that break-off point where it's like, all right, I want to make more. And then if it goes to this level and that shit starts happening i honestly would rather drop back down but also when you have an audience like that's like core like that which is and hardcore also like is that they do really know you they like you really for like the work you do yeah and the stuff whether it be

broadcastings specials whatever it is live shows um like people like i said i've said this i've been guilty of this a lot i actually talked about this recently how funny this is i've never met a celebrity who i am aware of that when i shake their hand i don't say dude huge fan and it's disingenuous now it's not really because the idea is even if i'm not i'm not a big fan of garth brooks at all i know the same four songs everyone would know about that i say big fan in the sense that you do mean it because what you're saying is like wow dude like you're garth brooks i'm still like i respect your success yeah it's like wow you've done a crazy thing but it's not like the people who will stop me be be it at an airport or a restaurant or anything, they're like.

They know more about your life than you. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure they come over, they're like, you know, it's like, hey, man, hope the whatever goes good. Hope the Nashville Comedy Festival goes good. Did Isabella do good on her finals? I didn't get used to that. That particularly was the thing.

It goes, Isabella, pick a college yet? I'm like, who the fuck are you? You were saying all last week that she was thinking if she was going to go to college or not. Right. Oh, yeah, I did say that. Thank you for asking. As a matter of fact, no, she was deferred. Thank you, though. Did you ever find that other sock?

Do you feel like this new era of comedy has been of been good for for someone like yourself though in regards of like youtube you could just do it on youtube and blow up you can well i have so many people like to thank for like just pushing me in that direction too i was never like social media happened all my career so i didn't really know how to do that or handle i'm my personality was so a couple times they get me it was come on man you have to like post things and and put your own like voice on yeah you don't seem like you're and then i do well i did i should say and then i would do

that and then like i just hate like by the third comment it would be like i remember i did a crowd work thing one time and they're talking they're hung up on the most basic part of the, the opening of the credit just to get there. And where are we going to start talking about? I go, I'm missing you with this guy. You're going to hook up with this guy tonight. And then she'd be like, no,

we're just friends. And I'm like, well, you should say that. Did he know that before you handed him the bill? I just watched you hand him the bill. And then, you know,

I'm making a joke about that. And by the third comment, I just see someone go, and I don't like arguing with it because it's stupid and they go like for the record because a guy buys a woman's drinks doesn't mean she has to

and I'm like I don't want to have this argument that's all the internet is I know that you're not watching someone preach outside of a town square I'm doing a comedy show. I think that was the – that's something the internet changed where, like, nothing became jokes. Where everything – like, everything I say in here, I'm fucking around.

Like, I'm aware of what the actual rules are and all that shit. And I don't even just mean on the podcast. I mean, on the internet, like, I'm never being serious. I'm never trying to be, like, this is how the world should be. And everyone... Ever. Ever. Never doing that.

And everyone is just like, no, they point out those things. That's like... I don't know. You wouldn't walk into a fucking church and correct the past. He's just doing his thing right now.

That's where he is. You're in the middle of a story at a bar. People standing in a circle and someone's talking. You wouldn't be like... The spirit of move on and just find what you like is like...

Not only do I not like that... You go to a Vietnamese restaurant and you don't like Vietnamese food. You write an article going, this was disgusting. This is gross. I hate noodles. This is awful. What's a banh mi? It's not a sandwich. Don't fucking go.

How do you think you still like Vietnamese food? It's a weirdh mi? It's not a sandwich. Don't fucking go. How do you think you stole Vietnamese food? It's a weird argument to say this sucks. I hate all that. And that's what it is. They come at like, I don't like rom-coms. I don't think they should stop making them. Someone likes them. You know what I mean? There's clearly a market for it.

There you go. There's a market for it. In fact, I hope they make a lot more because the rom-com market has dried up quite a bit recently. It's become Netflix originals or something. They all suck. You know what I'm talking about. I saw your tweet the other day.

Oink, piggy. Oink. Every Netflix is just a piece of shit. They are garbage. I was starting to talk about the, what was it, Kissing Booth movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I've never gotten it, but I'm saying it's not like, I don't think they don't belong in the world. Do you know what I mean? People love Game of Thrones. I don't like fantasy stuff at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't go Game of Thrones is the worst show. That's the difference. Seems like it's an unreal amazing show if you're into fantasy.

People just bore me. How is the new Bonfire? It's going great, man. It's been fun, too. You and Dan did a long time together, right? Eight years, yeah. That's a long... I love that it...

That's most people's careers, if you're lucky. I don't love that it ended, but I like that it ended in – or I love that it ended in like a – before it went like he wasn't doing it reluctantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't get in the years where he wasn't enjoying it. He told me close – maybe six months before he ended up actually going, he kind of told me what he was feeling. And I was like, okay. It's like you don't have to live my dream for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like doing it. I love that we're down the hallway from Howard Stern's show. okay, you don't have to live my dream for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like doing it. I love that we're down the hallway from Howard Stern's show. That's, to me, I can't believe any of that. He's been doing radio, not talk radio, but he's been in radio since he was in college, doing college radio and stuff. He's just over doing radio.

He loves doing the bonfire, but it just wasn't what his dream was to do. And it was monster. So I was like, this way we end it and not like we're still as close as we were doing the show. It doesn't make any difference. It's been Bobby, Kelly. There's like three people on the planet Earth that could fill Dan Soder's shoes, and you found one of them.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's why I told Bobby. I told Bobby because the first week or so, the shows were great and funny, but I could just see Bobby's trepidation a little bit. Yeah. And I remember saying to him, sometimes like a sentence changes. I've had that happen in my life so many times, but I was just like, don't fill Soder's shoes. Don't even worry. Just be Bobby. Just do you.

Yeah. Just be Bobby. Soder's thing is like, that's not here anymore. Right need, don't fill Soder's shoes. Don't even worry. Just be Bobby. Just do you. Just be Bobby. Soder's thing is like, that's not here anymore. You don't have to like take that place. And yeah, very few people could have jumped in there and did that. It was a process like getting it to happen. But Bobby's so great. You know, I've looked up to Bobby for years

and been friends with him for years. And then also he, the crowd the audience is going to respect him more if i'd have brought in like another younger person to do it like you got to deal with like that controversy right away if you didn't have someone like bobby kelly i think the best thing to do is like almost like you have like a a fake phil like you have i was gonna do it yeah it, it came down to picking, and I had like two columns of names. It was like sidekick or partner.

Yeah. And I decided first if I wanted to make it like, because they would have just made it like the Big J Show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, with whoever on like, you know, on second mic. But I was like, no, I like the partnership. I got so much broadcasting I'm doing. Like, it's too much to be, you know what I mean?

So I want to have a partner in this. And they brought Bobby in, or we brought Bobby in upon my suggestion. And yeah, it's been great. Also, what I like is, you know, you guys have this too. Like, you can roll out of bed and land on this couch, and you guys can just go for three hours. Yeah, no problem yeah me and dan had that too me and bobby are gonna like i know with our chemistry like that's

found that'll be found and it's already starting to feel like much more like yeah when we walk in just turn the mics on we're good yeah what are we gonna talk about first okay i don't know it's like what we just said outside or whatever pre-production meetings and they run through the list and it's like god bless you go do your thing but i don't know we're good like, well, we just sit outside or whatever. Pre-production meetings and they run through the list. It's like, God bless you. You can go do your thing. But no, no, no. We're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's been coming along good. But it also is fun being on my toes. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's kind of robot. We want to make sure people stay and don't just go, the show is becoming this. We've got to make sure this is funny every day. I was going to say the one thing that that comfortability does breed, though, is a little bit of like you're mailing it in.

Sure. If it was a brand new show, you probably would put some thought into it. And, hey, we do have to talk about this topic because we got to make sure the ratings are good or whatever the fuck. What's funny is we had to do that. That's the big thing is the topics, like the rundown sheet of topics. And me and Dan would come in every week and kind of give the sheet. But we would barely get to anything on that sheet. Because as soon as you walk in, you go, did you just see Jacob fall in the hallway?

What an ass. And then, you know, the time I fell, the time you fell, whatever, these things. And then you don't touch on any of the – I was in Detroit two weekends ago doing a gig. It was so many stories of just the insanity of what Detroit is. It's terrifying. It's a terrifying downtown area. A powder keg of culture that is ready to explode. And then because of the – last week we did Monday from studio and then Tuesday, Wednesday from Nashville with the Nashville Festival.

We didn't really get to that stuff Monday. We were talking about what are we going to do with Kid Rock when we see Kid Rock. And then Tuesday was kind of like, all right, it's tonight. That became the conversation. And then Saturday was the kid. We never even talked about Detroit. Detroit was chaos. And we still haven't got.

But that's good. When I come in, I go, oh, that's really good. That's good that we didn't like. Yeah. Nothing was forced. That stuff is kind of a crutch or a force or whatever. Yeah, it's like when you start to lean on that, that's actually – I like that better because you're talking about shit that no other show is going to talk about.

It's like I do want to – I'm sure people do want to hear, what does Big J think about this story in the news? No, but that's also what keeps it silly. But everyone is talking about that. So the story that only you have is going to stand out. Yeah, well, well me also when it was me and dan we made that decision that's why i said the show like every show there i have my three broadcasts basically as a sdr show bonfire and legion of skanks each one fosters this happened very organically i didn't really think about this till sort of recently, but I'm a huge Howard Stern fan always since I was a kid and still like, just listen to it for, it's just like

soothing nature of like, I don't even know what he's talking about anymore half the time, but like. It's been around your whole life. It's just, I hear the voice in the background and it's just like, it's like soothing for me. But, oh, now I'm a pothead and forgot the point of that. Sucking in Howard Stern's. Oh, the three shows. Each one kind of like fosters an element of Howard Stern that I loved. Like the Legion of Skanks is like the let's just go for it, like locker room trash. Let's just get in the middle of it.

See if we can talk about the craziest, shittiest subjects and stuff going on and make some funny out of otherwise horrible things. And the bonfire is like the pure just like silly funny of it. You know what I mean? Like Bobby kind of said to me when he came in too, he's like he likes the idea that it's not like the Opie and Anthony world where everything's like, oh, you stink and you suck and this suck and let's trash so-and-so.

It's really just like, let's just laugh. Just the stupidest, silliest like laughing to get you away from like, I remember me and Dan made the decision, I said during quarantine, when like George Floyd stuff happened, we're like, we'll acknowledge it. We'll acknowledge it.

I'm like, don't worry. Legion of Skanks is gonna, we're gonna have some voiceover thing so it's gonna make us like it's gonna piss people off so us we're just gonna go like

it fucking sucks what happened we're here to make you laugh man forget just forget about that for a little bit and make you laugh and then the SDR show

was like you know two pornsters are gonna come in who can see who can squirt further great and each one kind of like

I wear many hats yeah yeah but I love it I love that each one has of like I wear many hats yeah yeah but I love it I love that each one has that thing too you know because I don't want to be

like a knock off of like Howard Stern on like Bonfire you know what I mean in the way it is do your own thing yeah and like

Legion of Skan each thing's kind of defined which is good that was when I kept picking up all those other broadcasts you'd be like

well what am I doing different have you ever thought though about like because I've done a lot a lot of different shit in my Barstool career too and sometimes I've thought all those other broadcasts. You'd be like, well, what am I doing different on this? Have you ever thought, though, about, like, because I've done a lot of different shit in my Barstool career, too, and sometimes I've thought

if I just focused on one thing, would that have been massive? Right, right, right. You know, was that the right way to go? Maybe. I mean, it's very possible. Like I said,

me and Dan, like, the Bonfire, me and Dan had such a unique chemistry. I mean, that's why the show started. That wasn't a show we were put together. Yeah. My girlfriend would watch us back when Dan smoked, like smoking cigarettes outside of comedy clubs.

And she was like, man, you guys just go. Whatever it is, I walk over and you're both doing like fat black lady impressions to each other for a half hour. And I'm like, yeah, that is sort of what we do I guess press record man might as well make money off it but the thing about finding the chemistry it's so funny is Bobby the first week Bobby was in that's why I was like

alright we're going to have to talk like during the days and kind of get the thing down because me and Soda a thing we used to have was do you remember the movie heat of course with uh you remember he got his wife was angry that he was home late al pacino yeah he starts telling him he's like i got a dead body with her parents crying over her she's a 16 year old prostitute and her family's in a shame. Sorry if the chicken got dried out.

Remember that? So we used to, me and Dan would always do a thing like just describing their situation. You know what I mean? Like, I got three hours of tunnel traffic going on. A guy's asked me if I want a hot dog while another guy's squeezing me.

Sorry if the chicken got dried out. So Bobby, the first week Bobby was in, he was telling a great story. He was like, Patrice, he goes, Patrice tried to swing with me and Don one time. He goes, he brought this girl over to my house, and Patrice was dating this big, like, tall Morgan Freeman-looking, like, lady from, like, black lady from England. She was tall. Big girl.

And he's telling the story and he goes, he brings over to my house and he goes, then he leaves her there. He goes, he goes and does a spot. He goes,

I don't know what he thought was going to happen. Then he came back and then Dawn was annoyed because like she made chicken cordon bleu that dried out. So I go,

I got a 400 pound black woman with freckles at my house. My friend's running late on a spot down at the Boston Comedy Club. Sorry if the chicken got dried out. And I just look over at Bobby and Bobby goes, yeah. And he just goes on to the next thing.

I was like, oh yeah. I go, Bobby, just so you know that would have been 45 minutes of the show. From that moment I did that moment I did that so I'm learning also we would have said that 100 soda which is on his version of it I gotta frankly you know keep going on making it more grandiose there's this great Bobby's going yeah that's great that's also the fun thing too of the switch has been like

finding our your thing like the drops that they have now that I'm like oh that's from a thing that we brought up sure

I mean it's it's two absolute legends our first one is our first new drops we have was from a clip someone sent in it was so great

it's a lady definitely a Maryland or Philly accent. And I guess it's a genre of porn, but it's her getting fucked by her boyfriend who's in shape. Like, it's not like he's some schlubby dude or something. It looks like he's an attractive couple having sex. But she's got the worst voice. And she's just, I guess their thing is she tells him about another guy she just went

and fucked like that's what he likes I guess it's the turn on and like her voice though she's like yeah then he put it in my thing you know he was like can I put it in your butt and I was like yup oh dad oh no it's a Chicago it's like a Midwest accent so I was like oh dad and he was like can I put it in your butt like a Midwest accent second I was like oh god and he was like can I put it in your butt in front of your husband I was like yelp yelp

and the guy's giving everything he has in the porn and you see the guy like sweating working hard and she'll just be like all you see is like

her hands like and then that's gotta become annoying after a while yelp and I was like, yeah, that's got to become annoying after a while. Yelp. And I was like, yelp? Yelp.

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lose, make those bets. Get your merch. Go to the Barstool Sportsbook right now. I love it, dude. I mean, it sounds like things are going good. I feel like you're one of those people that, you know, always deserve that level of fame, money, recognition money recognition all that so oh you guys were on that's one of my favorite i'd be if i didn't hold you over to the fire for this i'd be uh giving up

when you came on when we and josh did the nikki glazer song yeah and at the time you're like i get it i don't even begrudge you this at all. That's all I get. Nikki came on your show looking fine. She was looking good. And we played it on skanks. He was like, I'm sorry, Nikki. I should have said something. We played that. I go, look at you guys.

It's just you guys punching the table, laughing so hard. I go, what are you apologizing for? I was loving it. Dude, you and I got in on it. I was like, I fucking like this. I said it reminded me of Taylor Swift. I love Nikki, man. She was great.

We didn't get to do it, man. We were going to do something where we sang a thing. I was going to make it look like we got caught singing together on a thing. We were on the Berk Reischer tour. That's what I do love about Nikki, man. People say, was she pissed? I go, I'm sure she heard it. She was kind of like, that sucks.

But she's a comic first. First and foremost, and a great one. So it's like she, do you know what I'm saying? She's like, she got it. She was like, yeah, of course. You're going to make fun of that. I have heard more about that fucking two-second apology than anything in my career. I get it.

I like someone. I would sell out the same exact way. I don't know why those guys are so mean. You're so pretty. I wasn't throwing. I was just like, ah, you know, shitty. I was talking about you behind your back. Sorry.

And it was like, ah. It's like what you were saying with everyone you meet is like you're a big fan. We had this show, Jury Duty, and this guy says to James Marsden, he's a a famous actor he's like oh you were in sonic i heard it's a piece of shit and we were interviewing his fucking face crazy one of the greatest things ever and i was like i was like dude we've had a lot of celebrities on everyone's done the best movie i've ever seen like if biggie played that song i'd be like and i said it to you but i was

like i was like i could see a Taylor Swift vibe Which was Bullshit But I was doing what I could And We were trying And Vicky was like This is unbelievable

This is the greatest song I've ever heard Yeah when we start talking You should be like Shh The bridge is coming up The bridge is coming up The bridge is coming up

That episode If you haven't seen it I mean I do love that about I toured with Nicky i do i do love that about nick i toured with nicky all summer i do love that like uh because i was even like um i mean i almost to the point too where i'd be like we might have a conversation i'd be like nicky we were just like obviously it's come on yeah you made a ridiculous song right that was the thing you know and that didn't even have to do that i would have she got it i do appreciate i would imagine there there has to be moments where you think back like that time i did a bob's faggot buddy they got me one of the well i was

an example of one of the funny that song was amazing your song that was when we first met josh out of myers and i i did not know that josh now i look back on that and i'm like oh that's just what josh does yeah but i didn't know he was like that so I was like this guy is killing it Lincoln Park was the first song and then we just did the corn thing at the end his name was Bob oh man that whole episode though

that like racist like PSA video do you remember that oh the Generation Hope that's what a lady a lady a white lady walks with a with a bullwhip to a basketball court to yell at a black kid in a wheelchair you can't be here you limp leg asshole like who is this dude we always i think we've gotten to the bottom i think it's all like we're trying to figure out like all like is this like tongue in cheek

are they gay and I think we got an answer it's not a super satisfying answer but I think it's brought to them to do these

for sort of a real reason and they're like but obviously these are like ridiculous we tell people all the time

if you go back and listen to that episode I think me and John say about like four words I'd love someone to do the count of word count. I guarantee we spoke the least of

any guest of all time. Of all time, yeah. I mean, that was... It was like being in the audience. I think when Nikki said it on the thing, she was like, oh, they're gonna... When she said it on her show, it was pretty great. Because she was like, oh, she goes, I was trying.

They're making fun of me trying, which is sort of true. They're sort of making fun of me trying. She goes, you think these guys don't try? We mock people. She goes, you think these guys don't try when Jay puts on the gloves? And then I go, she ain't wrong. That's what I think we did on Skanks. We were going through that.

I was like, she's not wrong there. I mean, it is like – of course. Point glazer. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, me and her are going to do something with music together. It's so funny because I also love singing. I just wouldn't do an earnest song. But whenever something like that happens, though, it always, like mine was years ago.

I went on Brian Koppelman's podcast. What's the? The Dude of the Billions right? The Moment I think it's called or something The Moment and I was talking to him and he caught me just at a time

it was before Bonfire just started and it was like the contracts were a pain in the ass and also the contract itself the initial one was not any kind of life changing money at the beginning they were just like

sure we'll give you a shot you know and and that was even being like held up and maybe it wasn't going to happen and i was just going through and he just caught me in a moment it was so organic where he was like you know asking about life and i go yeah it's just like he was like i guess you're getting emotional and i was like yeah i guess i but i just didn't picture i think when i was 19 i was in my mid my mid 30s when we did this and I was like yeah I don't think I pictured

when I started comedy at 19 I didn't over think about money and success in it because I was like yeah I'm just going to do it and now you realize all this time has passed and like at the end of the month I still have you know all my bills are paid thank god but like

still at the end of that it's like I have $200 and I have to build it back up to pay it back down to two and i just started getting like emotional and getting like teary-eyed and stuff and i was like yeah i just didn't i didn't um i just didn't picture that and when we were when we were done the show brian koppelman said to me he goes uh he goes hey by the way if you want me to like like i'll take part out, if you want to take it out, and I went, no. And he was like, you sure? I was like, I'm 100% sure. He goes,

in your world, I was like, no, it's exactly why. I go, they're going to shreds. But if I found out that one of my friends did that and then had it removed, I'd trash them for, I'd rather just be trashed. I'll trash about crying for fun. I'll trashed them. I'd rather just be trashed. I'll trash about crying for fun. I'll trash you for real about

fucking editing it. Exactly. So they called every friend we have that doesn't even live in New York and it's a good episode of Legion of Skanks. I don't know which one it is exactly what it's called, but probably Jay Cries. I was going to say. I could probably guess the keywords.

Probably something like that, yeah. And everybody from like Nate, and all my friends too who were like on the cusp of or successful now. Yeah. So it was hilarious. Like Nate Bargatze was like, I feel bad for you, dude. And he started wiping his eyes with hundreds.

Ari Shafir showed me his billboard above the pink dot in Times Square. And it's all like, you know, Joe listed something. And by the way, classically all hilarious video. Everyone had made a video. And I'm like, well, good. Because that's what I assume that's what you're supposed to do with that. Of course, you take the thing. And I was happy to say that I think Nikki's like to say,

like she didn't like, when we saw her we didn't have any weird thing or anything like that at all. It was just like, yo, we should, we're missing an opportunity if we don't sing a song together. Oh, that would be unbelievable. And I'll just play it like I was caught. I'll be like, no, that wasn't, I was just like holding the place until this other gay guy came.

I love it, dude. Hey, well well this is all for uh for dog belly so yeah yeah i mean i'm sure it's out now and yeah doing good we were supposed to have this a couple weeks ago when it first dropped so i'm sure it's fucking you know to bring it full circle yeah uh what's so funny is uh jelly roll he said when i first started talking to him, he came up to me with a question he asked that I never actually got to. The very first thing I was going to say on the show was, he goes, hey, man, love the special. We watched it on the bus the other night. We had such a good time.

Like, man, front to back, hilarious. He goes, but I have to ask you a question. He goes, in case I missed it. He goes, why is it called Dog Belly? I was like, well, then you missed a major part of it. A huge chunk of it. Arguably the most. Because why is it called Dog Belly?

He goes, I thought you just said you watched it yesterday. Why is it called Dog Belly? Speaking of that, and you put this out as a clip as well, but the dude who was just sitting there, the guy who broke the chair, is one of the – Oh, I can't believe we didn't talk. We might have to do another hour. That was insane,

where you were like, you're not just going to sit there like that. Just in a pile of... Fucking fully accepted it. What a fucking... That's a fan. You know what I mean? That's a guy who's like,

I can't interrupt Big J. He's filming a special. Ari made such a thing. Ari made such a thing that Ari Shafir produced it. I don't think they could produce it he was like really hands on

which was awesome and he did such a great job and that was one of the things he got everyone so afraid of moving around or anything when the guy's chair just sunk down

into a thing he just fatly accepted just being there the whole time is that in the special they keep the thing where I was like

there's people going he goes you want to help up he goes no I prefer it like this he just didn't want to make a scene I get it too

you don't want anybody to know he just starts sitting in the inside of a pile of chair it's funny because the way you can see it

on camera he doesn't look that big but then he kind of stands up and you're like oh yeah you're a big man

you're a lot of man I saw you on I think you were Segura and you're like, oh yeah, you're a big man. You're a lot of man. I saw you on, I think you were Segura and you know, he even set up all the chairs. He was helping set up chairs. Which is cool because a lot of times

I feel like we're entering this era of produced by and I think people are slapping their name on shit. So the fact that he was like, Of course, throwing money at it. Yeah,

for sure. Which is a big part of it so people do that, like, oh, cool. But to be like, involved in it is. I also love it, you people do that, like, oh, cool. But to be, like, involved in it is...

I also love it, you know, all he wanted was the executive producer, like, credit on it and stuff, which he didn't even really ask for that, quite honestly. He just kind of, like, dove in and started helping and kind of got me the whole crew. Like I said, I was numb to the whole thing. I don't know any of it. I asked, like, and he was like, you're going to self-produce this. Let's do it. Like, we'll, you know, we're know we're gonna get this out there you're gonna do it your own way and i'm like all right i don't i know so little i was like well i guess we now start the process

of interviewing 300 people so so you're the guy who does the other that third light that we're gonna need why should you have the job he was like no no no no it's like you hire a producer the producer puts a team together. I'm like, oh, there's the first thing I would have blown myself. Did I hear you say you were a key grip? Let me talk to you for a second. What's a key grip, first of all?

And do I have to hire one for this? But it was, yeah, he really went like hands, and didn't ever want it to be like, I always, it's a rough one for me. I know I have friends who have specials like this it doesn't matter, the material is the material if people love it, they love it, but I always think it's weird like the so and so presents

it's not letting them get their burn like my first comedy central special, if it was called so and so presents, Big Jay Oakerson's live Webster Hall, I'd be like, oh man I'm like, I can't have two names this is like my big thing, this is it I'm doing it, so'd be like, oh, man. I'm like, I can't have two names. This is like my big thing. This is it, man. I'm doing it.

So it's like he didn't even... I almost had to push to be like... No, even in the trailer and stuff, I'm like, yeah, no. Peace. I'm induced by Ari Shafir. That's crazy to take away someone's moment like that. You were saying with Segura, you were like... Or maybe it was Tom was saying to you

that... No, it was you. You said you that um no it was you you said you know he's pretty great in the comedy world he said unless you're bobby lee oh my daughter said that that was pretty fun my daughter watched there's a there's a documentary a short documentary on youtube now called ari shafir the most evil man in comedy it's a compelling argument it's uh yeah yeah yeah a lot of Supporting that It's compelling argument But it's funny My daughter loves Ari So she

He's just been around Since she was like You know Significantly small And also like a person Who's like One of the first people She knew

Who's like notorious You know what I mean So it's like She's all over social media When like the You know Ari Shafir Kobe Bryant

Thing happens And she's like Uncle Ari You know She came So she Like he can do no wrong In her eyes She just loves his like Weird chaos Starting Kobe Bryant thing happens and she's like, Uncle Ari? You know, she came, so she, like, he can do no wrong in her eyes.

She just loves his, like, weird chaos starting shit and she watched that, the most evil man in comedy documentary is about, the first story

is the Bobby Lee where he's nonstop attacking Bobby Lee physically for a fight they had years ago and then dosing Burke. So this is done seriously to try to take Ari down? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay. But it's... I'm just telling you, it's funny. So by all means, watch it. It's not going to take him down. It's stupid.

But he doses... It's him dosing Burt. They leave out dosing me, by the way. I guess that wasn't evil. Yeah, you got fucked too. I guess that wasn't evil. Which, that was excellent, though, because you were trying to get him, and he turned the tables on you, right?

No, it was awful because I didn't want to be a part of anything like this whatsoever. That's chaos. No, it was good. He did swap on somebody, right? So what happened was, Lewis, without telling me and Dave, was like, we're going to get Ari because this is what he does to people. We're going to dose Ari with acid. Right. I didn't know that.

And he told Shane before the show also, Lewis. So Shane told Ari. Nobody told me. In fact, Lewis said that he was going to do it. In fact, when Lewis said months before that, he was going to do that at some point. Me and Dave were both like, dude, I don't want to get into the game of like dosing people. Because that game just escalates. We also like, you know, like the three of us all have kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a thing where it's like, it's, you know. like, dude, I don't want to get into the game of dosing people. Because that game just escalates. We also, the three of us all have kids.

It's like a thing where it's like, my daughter can watch now and stuff. I don't want, let's not get involved in that. And then a couple weeks later, I guess, or whatever, months later, he just did it. And I didn't know. So what you'll see in the episode is I had already dragged, Shane told Ari. So Ari was looking for it, and when he saw the little tab in there, when I wasn't looking, he switched beers with me.

Now, Ari didn't know that I wasn't involved in it much or anything like that. He didn't know. But what's funny is after I'd already drank it, I'm saying something at one point, and I notice while I'm talking that everyone's not not paying attention to me even while I'm talking. And I'm like, guys, what's – so after I finish my statement, I go to Lewis off mic. And I'm like, what? What's going on? Why is everybody like – I see this is weird.

Like what's the weird reaction? And he goes, we dosed Ari with acid. And then I look over at Ari and Ari is doing like the – he's like doing like all kinds of weirded out thing. And I was like, no. And you see me going, no, no, no, my guys,

Lewis, what the fuck, dude? And then I'm kind of mad at Lewis. And then Lewis goes, we're going to tell him, Ari, guess what?

We dosed you with acid in your beer. And Ari just goes, oh man, really? Did you, or did I just switch it with Jay's beer? And then me seeing me have the realization goes, goes,

ha, no, no. And then me, seeing me have the realization, he goes, ha, no. Like, what? No. And he's like, yeah. That's some joker shit,

man. I'm like, no. And then I was bummed. Yeah, that bummed me out. That was a rough night. Yeah.

They all apologized. You know, it's a thing. It's, you know, I get he goes for it and stuff like that, but he's like,

you know, he wouldn't do it again, for sure. Especially with Lewis, like, you know, fair game. But in fairness to ari what we had to go through was he didn't know that i wasn't any part of that it was like and yeah he's like the legion skanks is gonna dose him so he got one of us but like it was still like guys but that's what's the thing about that i'm like why me this is literally the you know guys i don't want to go to uh you know the movies like people get attacked at movie theaters and i'm the only one who gets it yeah i mean he when we had him on he pulled

out his fucking shitty bloody man pawn out of his ass and waved it at us and put it on his phone like like that phone that phone box of fine inside of it is that phone i went right to the apple store i was like i didn't know'm never going to look at this phone the same again. Because I got up and ran away because we didn't know if he was going to throw it at us or whatever. As we're talking, he's just like... One time he's laid it on Lewis's shoulder and he didn't know he was doing

the show for like a half hour. It's so wretched. I said it's the Ari Shaffir tax. You're going to get a great conversation. He's an all-time comic, an amazing podcaster, and then he'll do something irredeemably bad, and you have to decide whether you accept that. But they did all the dosing,

the Kobe thing, and Bobby Lee is his documentary. Like the Ari Shafir, Most Human Man comedy, and my daughter watched it. That was her line. She just goes like, seems if you're not Bobby Lee, you're fine. Everyone else is good. Oh, man.

All right, so everybody go watch Dogbelly. Please share. Bonfire on SiriusXM. Legion of Skanks Mondays on the Gas Digital Network. What's SDR? SDR is Wednesdays. That comes out Wednesday and Saturday, and Skanks comes out Monday and Friday.

Awesome, man. Great stuff, dude. Thanks, dude. Thank you for having me. So much. I don't know if you guys want to cover this at all. Tucker Carlson just got fired. Oh, really?

Tucker Carlson just got fired. Just got fired. Just got fired. Ten minutes ago it was announced. Live reaction from the three of us. The world wants to know what we think. I have to say it was Lewis. Lewis just did Tucker Carlson.

Really? Well, Tucker, you know, that was the... Oh, that was, he said politics is gay, right? Huh? Was that where he... Politics is gay. Politics is gay. He did say that.

And then, but also Tucker Carlson's like producer or something is the girl. Did you see when me and Soder, or not me and Soder, when Soder tricked her as Chappelle? No. Have you Chappelle? No. Have you seen that? No. You should watch it on YouTube. Anyone listening, watch it on YouTube. This is great.

This is a great story. So me, Lewis, and Dave, I think, Smith, all got a message from this lady who works for Tucker Carlson. I'm a producer on the show. We're doing a docu-series or something on comedy and cancel culture and whatever it is. I was just like, thanks, no.

You know, it's not my world to go do that. And Lewis said yes to it and he did it. And she came and did like a whole piece on,

you know, Lewis talking about Gas Digital and blah, blah, blah. And he said to her that day he goes oh you should like talk to Dave Smith too for this he would love to do it and he'd also be great at it he loves politics

and all this shit so she goes oh okay thank you the way this unfolded is so good so she when we get to the show Monday, to Legion of Skanks, Dave goes, it was this funny thing that this girl thinks that Dave Smith is Dave Chappelle for some reason. And texting Dave Smith.

We read the thing. The first thing is this long. Lewis goes, she asked me for Dave's number. I gave her Dave's number. And then I don't know where the disconnect is, but she's writing to Dave. She writes this long thing about how great he is. He's amazing for comedy.

And Dave was almost like, this is nice. And then at the end she goes, by the way, I also loved you on SNL this last weekend. So it's like, oh. So when he realizes, he goes, she's Dave Chappelle. Why does she think this is Dave Chappelle? Isn't she, she's writing to, texting? She's texting.

Okay. Dave Smith. Got it, right, right. But thinks it's Dave Chappelle. I thought she was. And we're like, why do she, why does she think this? And we're kind of laughing with that. And then Louis just like, you know, the hours or, you know,

days later realization in your own head. Louis just goes, you know, I should check my messages to see if this is in any way like... Because no one can think of a reason. Why would she think this is Dave? You told her about Dave Smith, how good Dave Smith would be on the thing.

You said Dave Smith, right? Yeah, okay. So why is this? He looks back. He just wasn't paying attention. He was playing video games or something when she was hitting him up the one day. And what he didn't see was she texted him the article that was SNL people leaving,

boycotting the show writers because Dave Chappelle's coming on. And then she just wrote the sentence, I'd really love to talk to Dave if you have his number for me. And Lewis just sends back Dave Smith's number he doesn't even look that she sent the article he goes well we were talking about Dave Smith she wants Dave Smith's number so he gives Dave

she checks on Dave Smith and Dave hasn't written back anything yet and then Lewis this is the funniest thing besides the phone call itself but when Lewis goes back to check on the thing he gives dave's number she then asks she goes oh my god i can't thank you enough like this is absolutely amazing like is it okay if i say that i got the number from you

or should i just say i got it somehow lewis writes back absolutely used my name. He's the closest thing I have in this world to a brother. So then without giving too much away, which I probably already have, like we whittled down till we get soda on the phone to call her while we all, the, the live show listens on muted three way for him talking to her as Dave Chappelle.

She believes it is Dave Chappelle. and he says he with the idea that soda had he was smart he goes to oversell lewis on everything so she'd be like so dave like it's crazy what's going on with cancel culture this thing goes and that's why we need lewis jay gomez in the game and he's just doing the whole thing and he would make the smallest things that ch Chappelle, he's like, he doesn't have to work on the website, though. GasDigital.com's got some website issues. And Louis also has a dangerous foot fetish and very dangerous weight fluctuation. And so the best part of that is when it was over, while on the show, she texts Louis again. She goes, just spoke to Dave.

It was awesome. he really loves you you guys you're right you're like brothers but this was a thing that kind of i didn't bum me out it's just like again i try to go with just like the popular as far as like politics stuff i'm just like the popular opinion like sure whatever we're talking about earlier but this one on my own thing kind of like it bummed me out might be the wrong word. It was just an odd thing I thought for like, I'm like, just to get on the most basic level, I'm like, the Fox News people are like the mean, bad people, right? And the liberals are like the good people, I guess, is what you just think.

And I just think it's Fox News. We clowned her by doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Again, not her fault that she didn't know. Technically, Lewis is like... But we did. We played her out.

When we told her, Lewis told her the next day, she reposted it. She laughed. She goes, Ah, they got me. That's so funny. They put that little documentary out

and put the whole thing in the documentary. Good, yeah. And I'm like, I feel like if we did that to someone on the left, you'd get the right thing. It's like, do you think it's funny to play with a woman who's trying to... No, we would have done it if it was a guy. This is just a thing.

This crazy thing fell on our laps. We had to do something with this. Yeah, come on. Yeah, Tucker, did they say why he got fired? Because of those text messages where he's like, fuck Fox News. It was a Dominion thing from like a week ago, I guess. Suddenly, I was so like, how?

I just – Oh, he said he didn't believe anything he was talking about. Yeah. All of the people at Fox had text messages being like, can you believe these pigs eat up this slop that we feed them every night? Ha, ha, ha. And they eat $100 bills. One was like, it was so close to being done with Trump. Thank God, I fucking hate this guy.

What a clown, idiot, asshole. I hope Tucker Carlson goes to work for CNN right now. Just fucking throw a stick at Dynamite. That's really crazy, because isn't it the most, like one of the most popular shows? It's one of the few. I think it's by far.

I noticed a little bit about my agents were like, don't do that documentary thing. And I was like, okay. And they were like, Gutfeld, though. I'm like, okay. Is that the same channel? Is it the same channel? I'm like, what do I know?

He wanted me to come on and talk about the fishing scandal. I did a video. The way you fish? Yeah. And I was like, gonna. And then I was the fishing scandal. I did a video. The wading the fish? Yeah. And I was like, gonna. And then I was kind of like, I don't know. This is not going to really do anything for me. And it can only do bad, really.

You know what I mean? So I just said, fuck it. But Dave will probably hire him. Carlson will be at Barstool by Monday. How much money do you think he made? Tucker's Corner. I'm sure. We're here.

Tucker Carlson. we're talking beer we're talking baseball it's like guy shit we're talking bow ties it is the I always reference this because it's the last

like when Matt Lauer got caught I don't know what he was sexually assaulting of some level I think I forget exactly what

whatever he had the lock he had the button that's honestly what killed him he could have not done anything else to women, but you have a lock under your door, you are fucked. What's so crazy about that is

you could think of seven bazillion reasons why that's necessary and convenient to have not sexual harassment charges, but just when you're already on sexual harassment charges. You're done, dude. There you go. Oh, what about this sex swing? It's for my wife.

Now, if you got one of those, you're definitely a piece of shit. Every teacher in America is like, I would love to have a lock button in my house. Oh, my God. Oh, would you, pervert? Naked spelling bee. When he got fired, it came up with his salary. And I knew it was very popular. Good Morning America, Today Show, whatever it was.

And I knew it was crazy popular. But he was making $42 million a year. And that was like 10 years ago. That's only got to be higher now. The morning show was on season three. You figure it took a couple years to get that started. So at least, let's call it five, six years ago. I bet Tucker was making 50-plus a year.

Yeah, big money. That kind of viewership, yeah, it was huge. That's crazy money. But also, I don't know, when you're making that per year, when you get fired, you're like, I have so much money saved. Just so you know, I can't spend $50 million a year. Yeah, he's like, I'm good, dude. I'm fucking good, man.

I wish, for instance, if Louis isn't talking to him by tonight, Louis Shagoma is going to get him a show. You can do whatever you want, doggy. Studio time. We could have a former Proud Boy be your producer. All right. Thanks for coming by. Thank you, guys, man.

Thank you so much, man. It's a pleasure, dude. When you are deciding if you're coming out and you're struggling with it or whatever do you do guys ever like you just mentioned a butch chick is there ever any thought of like let me dabble in that world and see like if i like that um no i just went straight yeah yeah yeah like hey roger just come out of the closet dude i knew i like i wanted a cock and that's what then they were lacking they can dress all the boys the way they want, play all the softballers. You just wanted the dick.

What is it called? Yeah, I just wanted that dick. That's how I met the butch shop teacher. I thought you were going to say contact Kim. No. Even that dick's too big for me. Have you ever dated a butch chick? Even that dick's too big for me.

A butch chick? Yeah, who was it? The girl I lost my virginity to was Portley. Well, she also had her period in the front seat of your dad's car. Chevy Trailblazer 2005. He got in the next day to go to work. It smelled catfish. And I went out.

I was like drunk. I went home drunk. I drove home drunk. I was young. And I had to go with carpet cleaner because it was like the tan thing. And I was like... It was period on a tan Like fabric So my dad

My poor father Drove to work the next day In a period stained car Because his faggot son Decided that he needed to lose his virginity To make sure he was gay And then he was too drunk and lazy To clean the period off of his dad's seat

So his dad drove in there With Period On the car I'll have to bleep that one out And he was late to the radio shack that day Correct? Yes off of his dad's seat. So his dad drove in there with... Period. On the car. You'll have to bleep that one out. And he was late to the Radio Shack that day, correct?

Tale as old as time, you know? A true... It was really Radio Shack? No. It was Taco Bell. Thanks, Dad. Oh, man.

That is fucking... That is... I can picture you being like, ew, gross. I can't believe I'm a giant. I was so disappointed. Well, maybe that's why you're gay Probably Maybe if you fucked a girl

Who wasn't on her period You wouldn't have been So turned off by the vagina Yeah she If I fucked somebody And they were bleeding all over I might have been I might have turned gay too

If I The first vagina I fucked bled everywhere I think it was not like Bleeding everywhere But I remember after She was very Clearly it was

Coming over to like Her dorm And like cuddle And I It was so foreign to me i was like what are you on what planet do you think i'm gonna go cuddle with you you pig like why don't you i'm using you you idiot but why would you have sex in the car and then go yeah where else am i gonna have sex why would you have sex in the room if you're gonna cuddle in the room why can't you fuck in the room i guess you can cuddle in front of people you can't cut you can't fuck in front of people oh well maybe i don't know i don't know why i'd probably rather fuck in front of people. You can't fuck in front of people. Oh, well. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know why. I'd probably rather fuck in front of people than like cutesy cuddle.

Did I have a front seat of a car? Yeah, that's super weird too. I've never fucked in front of a car. I got a blowjob one time. I got road head once. My body was like a C. And it was like fucking Tommy, not Tommy Boy, Black Sheep. Where it's just like, I mean, I was on a highway going to Canada.

I was going 20 times. Oh, you were driving? On the highway? You were in the right lane just like i mean it was i was driving impossibly slow it took me i mean having sex while you're driving is insane i think i think we changed you can get head but you can't you didn't tell him to go faster Oh yeah No I was just getting ahead I wasn't driving Oh okay No no no I was driving No no no

I wasn't fucking Roadhead Shower sex These are all things You can You know You check off your list And you're like

We don't need to do these Ever again Yeah You know Shower sex is the worst Because you have to use So much conditioner Somebody

You still have to Conditioner is the greatest Lube in the world Well you know For jerking off at least I don't know about fucking It burns my dick Really Shower conditioner Yeah I've tried the Shampoo does Shampoo at least I don't know about fucking it burns my dick really

conditioner yeah I've tried the shampoo does but I've never tried the conditioner is amazing for the dick especially when you get one of those

heat protecting masks she knows now she has color treated hair Jackie keeps just zoning out and popping back in real quick if you do that to

when these two podcasts get together if you zone in and out which a lot of people listen to podcasts it's probably a weird listen because you'll just come back in to hear some shit

that you did not expect to fucking hear somebody recently oh Christina Aguilera on Call Her Daddy what did she have to say? Alex was like Christina Aguilera on Call Her Daddy. What did she have to say? Alex was like.

Christina Aguilera was on Call Her Daddy? Yeah. First and only podcast she's ever done. Really? Yeah. And Alex was like, okay, now it's time to talk about sex. And she was kind of like, ooh, okay, let's get dirty. And it was a very, it was like not, it kind of made me wonder if like her whole, what her

whole, bottom line, she said, what's like your favorite position and sex and all that? And she said shower sex. And I was like, that's the, that's the response of like someone who's never had sex before. No one in the world says that shower sex is their favorite sex, except for like the 15 year old who's pretending that they've had sex before, you know? And like her whole whole it was like she was like you know i kind of like everything and like you know like spooning from behind and i was like yeah i was like is this christina fucking dirty aguilera like yeah with the fucking

black streaks in her hair and she's a disney kid she's like I like anyone with an adult Any person Any time not being forced By the scripter Or whatever he's called The creator The creator I don't think she really Ever leaned in

Like she had Dirty And that was like Her transition from like Bubblegum pop To like adult sex pot But I think it kind of like Ended after that Yeah

A lot of people like Britney Spears leaned in Yeah Yeah Fuck you I'm not a Disney kid anymore kind of thing like Britney did like how to do the one sexy shocker thing

right and then you know yeah well you're describing when it goes from a business decision to a mental illness yeah she did that turns out we were

a little bit ahead of ourselves with that free Britney thing she's she's portly for a while portly is a tough word don't be mean no I would rather be called obese than portly portly is a tough word. Don't be mean. I would rather be called obese than portly.

Portly is more of a man's thing. Husky I think is actually a good one. Some people get offended by that. Homely? Homely and portly. If you're portly, first of all, that makes you just think like you're a portly pig. You're just a little piggy piggy. Oink for me. I had a friend when we were in high school describe a woman who worked at the school as putrid and i was like that's the most oh no and and and and then nothing described

her better repugnant she was like an older woman who was like balding and like i mean she looked like a creature from the depth like yeah he's like he's just putrid and that's stuck with me for it. I don't even know how to spell putrid. Let's try. Putrid. P-U P-E-U? No, P-U P-E-W. Oh, is it E-W? No, W? I was going to say P-E-W. I was going to say P-E-W. P-E-W? P-U-T-R-I-D. I could have got you guys on that one.

P-U-R-T-D. Oh, you're joking. Oh, yeah. I got you, good fuckers. P-U P-U P-U R-T-I-D. P-U-R? What are you, illiterate? P-U-R-T-I-D. Are you retarded?

I am. And gay? Holy shit. The gay thing is just to cover that up. The newspaper on top of the puke. Joey was like, well, I'm retarded. I might as well suck some dicks, too. By the way, for two homosexual gentlemen,

what is the ensemble choice today? With the cosplay. This is clearly a thing. I didn't even notice the hat. Joey wearing a Cleveland- Why does everyone know this hat? It's fucking insane. I just found this on the hat Joey wearing a Cleveland Indian hat is fucking insane I just found this

on the ground on the way in here I had a different hat on beforehand but I saw the red here and I wanted to pick it up I was just doing a show with a different hat

so I wanted to see something different like a different day so I grabbed this on the floor I walked up to Youngstown Bob and said what the fuck are you doing with that hat on

I thought it was like C for my last name Youngstown Bob that's because he's from Cleveland I don't want your car to hit a hate crime really yeah what is this what is it was a football team or baseball you know he's like good he goes out with youngstown bob like every weekend really him and youngstown bob go out and get drinks and then they try and pick up guys together we have our neighbors we hang out all the time we sat this weekend

when you post pictures on in on instagram do you filter them and and facetune them and shit or you just you just you just fancy and sexy like that the face no i don't face too because you look striking on on social media not on stories i don't i do what i do i just do the parents filter on the stories and sometimes if there's like a tanner filter but a hard post are you hard posts i will just have this fucking blue steel look to you too though yeah i will brighten it up it's not what we're about the only thing i do fuck with is i will slim out my neck oh who amongst us take it in who amongst us does it and i'll brighten up the things like i'll brighten like uh but like that little like smoky look you're giving with your eyes that's that's natural yeah you're very photogenic thank you i am you are i i actually took a picture of you i think you were in that no no you were in a

patriot shirt a patriot when we were at fucking uh music house a couple weeks ago and i took a picture of you I think you were in that no no you were in a Patriot shirt a Patriot shirt when we were at fucking a couple weeks ago and I took a picture of you I just took a picture and that was it I don't know how to do all that stuff so I do help out a little bit

but I know I do have good photos I posted it I was like god damn Joey looks hot here I have a chain on here yeah what's the chain

well I was in Soho the other day I was in Soho and I saw this guy wearing this outfit not the outfit I'm wearing now the one that I went to to the Guggenheim

yesterday wearing I took a $50 shirt at the Guggenheim yesterday he had wearing now. The one that I went to the Guggenheim yesterday wearing. I took a $50 shit at the Guggenheim yesterday. He had to poop so bad, he paid to get to the Guggenheim to take a dump and then walked out. There wasn't like a Starbucks next door or something? No, it was right there. You know what there was? You know who I ran into at the coffee shop that I was trying to shit in? Jason Bateman.

No way. He was the man trying he was the man he's the man he didn't say hi to you though but you know when you see another celebrity in public you need to acknowledge

each other he didn't give you the nod he didn't give you the nod let's not let's not cause a scene here we're in the same industry let's not cause a scene we don't want to

we don't want to fellow podcaster Arrested Development really skirted on that that sexual assault stuff that not sexual assault fellow podcaster Arrested Development really skirted on that that uh sexual assault stuff that uh

oh he got not sexual assault but like well I guess he's dead now Jeffrey Tambor was like but he wasn't on it wasn't arrested oh he died?

oh it wasn't it was on Transfixed Transfixed? Transfixed I don't know if that's true because I'm pretty sure that Transparent

I'm pretty sure that Lucille was like... Oh, really? He got fired from Transparent. Yeah, no, but I think it was. Those are mine. Oh, sorry. That's okay.

I'm just acknowledging they are my nice sunglasses. I won't credit. Jeffrey Tambor very much alive still. Oh, she's the one who died. I think she was the one who spoke up.

Don't say her dead name. We took pictures of you guys before the show because we're going to turn you into women at our live show in Nashville and we're going to give you drag names. Now we can finally test the waters, John. Yeah, we can test the waters. See if you get any bites.

Anytime we've done those, like, use a filter to make us look like women, we do not fare too well. Granted, Pabst does it in a way that he's trying to make us look bad. I wonder if he did it to us and tried to make us look like women, we do not fare too well. Granted, Pabst does it in a way that he's trying to make us look bad. I wonder if he did it to us and tried to make us look good, how we would come out. I still think not great.

I still think that we are entirely dude. There's nothing... There's a lot of feminine about how we behave. You have very soft skin, but I think that your nose is very masculine for a woman's face. It's a honker! That's what he's trying to say. It's a Roman nose. Check any Julius

Caesar. They all had the same. You could be. You could be. Defends it. Staunchly defends it. He says it every time. Some woman told me that one time on a boat in Newport I was working for the summer. Roman nose. Everyone my whole life had described my nose with a K up until that point.

You know, it's like a kite, but different. And she's like, it's a very Roman nose. You look like an emperor. And I was like, I am taking that and keeping it in my back pocket forever! You have soft features, though. If you had the right hair and makeup

and a good outfit from Bloomingdale's, you'd probably... I think I'll take that as a compliment yeah i think it's anyone can be i have nice feet i had a pretty pretty feet for a man pretty feet for me i was in a uh a laundromat like in the hood kind of and uh this black woman went i was wearing flip-flops at the time of the summer she goes you got pretty feet for a man and i was like fuck yeah. Kevin has told me that before and I've seen his feet. And I don't know if I agree. I don't disagree with it. Fuck this guy.

He doesn't know what he's talking about. When I see him, I don't say, those are nice feet. I have high arches. I like how you did a little bit of a black scent. I was hoping you would commit more. You got pretty feet for a man. Hey, white boy. You got pretty feet for a man. I was white boy. You got pretty feet for a man.

How hard is he going to go? We're not in Big Mama's house anymore. Big Mama's house. Nolan? Kevin, when he said that, it's like there are moments where you're like, hell yeah, I did make the right decision.

It's a feminine sock. How'd I get that off so fast? hell did you get that off so quick? That's a feminine sock. I'll give you that. Yeah, how did I get that off so fast? Your feet are beautiful. Do you not have socks on? Throw them up.

Oh, you don't want to throw them up. Throw them up. No, you got to pay for that shit, man. Let me see. Those are 12-year-old's feet. They are very nice. That would be pretty, right? They're very nice.

They're nice nail beds. I think this is one of those things. Those are good feet. It's like, whew, all right, I am straight. Because guess what? That doesn't appeal to me at all. They have a high arch, and they are not very hairy. Why does your big toe have an arch, though?

My feet are fucked up, actually. That's what's funny about her saying that. That's her hammer toe. That's how Kevin got out of Afghanistan. Kevinvin's like do you guys see my feet i said on my show i said um i had high high arch and i said that's why i wasn't allowed in the military when i was wearing that high the um the other the other time where i was like oh dope nice i am straight uh because there's been times where you're like really dude um but the uh enjoyed that a little bit are you fucking sure dude but the uh we had jeffree star you guys had him on the podcast and um he came on

it's the internet and one of the questions like if you saw a glory hole, what would you do? One of the best answers ever. And he was like, I'd get on my knees. And I was like, holy shit, I never even considered that! I am straight! Fuck yeah! That is like, you know, we've obviously never had anybody

like him do Answer the Internet, so the answer is always coming from the point of view of of like would you put your dick in it and he's like i get my knee pads out and i was like yeah brilliant brilliant okay never crossed the mind never what's the best what's the most answer that's straight guys say when they see the glory hole actually what we usually more often we ask there's four glory holes and behind it are three chicks and one dude. Do you put your dick in?

Or like, there's one glory hole. You know, you get it. You have a 75% chance of it being a dude. A girl. Is it possible

for them to say no? I mean, I feel like if you put your dick in there, you will forever just be thinking like,

it was a guy. It was a dude. Well, you know what happens behind the wall? Those three girls are in on it, and once the dick comes through, they throw the gay guy over there like, get in there, girl. But I feel like,

you think gay guys or straight girls get better head? Gay guys. Because they crave it. Because they know what they crave. Yeah, they do crave it. But you guys are sluts. It's gay sluts. I crave cum.

I mean... But you're not normal show like like like are there this is a very ignorant question because i know the answer but like are there gay guys who like who don't crave come who don't like sex as much who don't aren't hypersexual right yeah but but in general but so okay this is interesting so in is it um the same amount like you think of of uh guys who like you know typically you say like you get married and the woman doesn't have sex anymore do you think that happens as much with gay couples? I think it does. A little bit, yeah. But like you said, there is no species of being on Earth that craves dick more than a gay man. Right, right.

After a few peanut butter shoes. Is that because of all the repression? No, because it's just hot. It's so simple. What a fucking brilliant... No, it's just hot. Because I always thought... I always thought it was like, you know, you're fucking in the, you know, the stereotypes of like, you're fucking in the gym, the bathroom of the gym,

or in the bar bathroom or whatever. Because it's almost like. The staircase going to your laundromat in your own apartment. Just hypothetically speaking. I always thought that was kind of like, you know, at a time where people were in the closet, it wasn't allowed, and you meet someone who is gay and you are like attracted someone you're like I gotta get it in right now so let's

just fucking do it but now that it's more accepted you don't really have to do those things but I feel like you guys still are so power to you well I think it's like the that's how we pay homage to our four founders yeah I'll suck your dick in this bathroom because of Greg Louganis keeping our

herstory alive yeah I think that's another hot thing the animosity of like not knowing who it is it's just like

you know women wouldn't really do that like women would just go to the bathroom and get yeah because that's what you guys can like

it's a fair fight yeah if you go to the bathroom and some guy tries to assault you it's a fair fight a girl does that it's a wrap yeah have you ever talked about bathroom and some guy tries to assault you it's a fair fight a girl does that, it's a rap have you ever talked about that

and we can cut it if you haven't you breaking up with an ex-boyfriend and being like alright we have to fight now I won't hook up with someone who I'm afraid could physically dominate me that's what women do all the time if I hooked up with a guy who was bigger than me

that's terrifying what if something happens but you're right i did i was uh like my first like long-term boyfriend we were like it was just sour towards the end for like a good year oh and eventually everything came to a head and we looked at each other and there was just so much hatred i looked at him i go can we just fight and he looks at me he goes yeah did you we moved furniture no fucking the living room and i just shoved him and he clocked me and i clocked him back this oh yeah this to the face he hit me with like uh i think i he hit me with like an open of course he did i was like if i hit this guy back i'll kill him yeah yeah i think i just kind of gave him like a really hard one of these

and shoved him in like, this is a little fucking weird. You're going to catch a case. Yeah, that was the end of it. But I wish I'd killed him. That would be, that's an interesting thought. Roll him up in the fucking, in the rug and send him out. What about, what if we open up a business and it's called like Fight up a business and it's called

like fight for gays and it's actually just the gays fighting each other and it's like you come here you have to be evenly matched

and you you spar gay fight club yeah gay fight club the first rule of gay fight club is you know you're talking about gay fight club

you come with we'll put on some gloves and some headgear so it's not too violent but it's like rather than doing some passive aggressive relationship bullshit

argument come here and as you're throwing fists be like I fucking hate when you leave the towels on the floor it's like

well I don't like it you talk to your ex still and then you and John are just jerking off on the couch watching yeah yeah

might as well Nick can we shut the cameras off those gay guys can fight. Some of them can't because they're not going to go down unless it's a fucking spiked bat with nails coming out of it. There's some anger. There's some anger coming out of me the first 12 years of my life.

I'm fucking ready. And now everyone's doing mixed martial arts, jiu-jitsu, all that shit. So they all can fucking put you in an arm bar and break your fucking body in half you never know like if you see someone on the street like if they have you shouldn't pick fights man if like if they have any fighting experience if you could like most people you can kind of size up but like every once in a while you see a viral video online where it's totally ufc fighter knocks out seven guys as a matter of fact sizing people up is where i think you get in trouble you're like all right five six yep this guy doesn't know what he's doing. He's five, six for his whole life. He's been fucking learning how to.

I get winded from sneezing. So it's like, I'm big, but I'm not moving fast. She's an elephant queen. Imagine Joey and Ruff and Rowdy. No, I would love that. I was the ring girl that time, remember? Yeah, of course. How was that accepted?

It was fine. Until West Virginia saw you. Until Dave and Dan said they were throwing up in their mouths looking at me. That's a hate crime. Did they really? Yeah, but Dave apologized after. That's fucking mean. That's the funniest thing.

I'm going to throw up. It's Joey just on there. And then he went and bought fucking Coke in the fentanyl capital of the United States. Yes. Didn't even test it and went back to the hotel room and was just with a bunch of fucking appellation no way really there's a dyke yeah it's dead dude that's fucking that's the most a dyke that dm'd me on instagram because yeah you want to hang out honey i'll tell you to hang up dude if i had a female drug dealer

I get a little like Enough when a woman Delivers my food Why? Why food delivery? It's just not the norm If you're a chick And you drive an Uber

Or deliver It's like yo There are so many other ways For you to make way more money Than this You're pretty much a rock bottom Go be a stripper Go be a this Go be a that There's so many ways To make money to make way more money than this. You're pretty much a rock bottom. Go be a stripper. Go be a this.

Go be a that. There's so many ways to make money before you're delivering my Taco Bell. It's probably because my mom wouldn't let me be a pizza delivery guy when I was in college. She's like, it's too dangerous. So I was like, okay. And then I'm like, this is – This thing is too pretty. Patriarchal.

This is dangerous. I could just grab you and pull you in the house right now. Yeah, for real. Have you thought about that? I could just grab you and pull you in the house right now. Have you thought about that? I could fucking kill you. Give me my tacos. I was going to ask you where you are right now. But yeah, I'd be super weirded out if I called for drugs and a woman came to my door.

But this is a barnyard lesbian. This is not like some petite little girl delivering. No. This is a pig. This is a woman who has been eating mammies, grits her whole life. She's thick. She's country strong. She's got a mustache.

She's got porcupine hairs on her leg. You like hanging out with lesbians? I do. I wish I was with a big group of lesbians back in the 90s and big group of lesbians back in the 90s no it was in brooklyn i was like hanging out like i had all my friends were lesbians it was like i wasn't in their crew well they probably thought you were one i know they were fun but like you know yeah i do like hanging out with um very butch women because i feel like i think it's hot i love it earlier like i never had sex with the butch room but i would i've i've been i've have hooked up with um trans men so women that um women that became uh transitioned to men but still vaginas oh oh so you you've uh

yeah you've fucked vaginas before yeah i don't know not fucked it no I haven't fucked one yet I never got that far but I did a lot of fingering in the bathroom at clubs in the vagina in the vagina and kissing so you've felt the vagina

I fingered a few girls have you fingered straight girls like what are you a gold star my name was Jen on the couch it was a Jennifer Convertible couch in the living room and I kept giggling

so she couldn't finish do you think you were good at it I was home I wanted to like I wanted to do it like it's like almost the way you had sex with that other woman that you said yeah I'm on her period because you wanted to call like I didn't I didn't to prove it to myself but I did want to do it just uh to say you did yeah because I felt like I needed to um succeed but I've called him when he's been in vegas or like he'll like send me a picture and i'll just be like him like in a hotel room four in the morning with like clearly like a pimp and then like a trans prostitute and it's just the three of them there i'm like you guys this is dangerous joey i was like what if they rob you

he's like they won't do anything I'm like you can't I was like what were you doing He's like you know This is like a couple months ago No it wasn't This is before I knew my boyfriend So it's summer Less than a year

Can we agree on less than a year No it was not less than a year It was two years ago We'll cut that out for safety's sake. If I had to pick one thing I know I'm bad at, it's fingering. Oh, on the fucking goat. Really? On the goat, absolutely. And you're forefinger like this?

I go Spider-Man with it. So these two go in or these go in? I think when you're like a young kid. Let me embed my statement. Inside, I'm like a close combat fighter. Inside, I can fucking get in there. You can't rub that clit. But on the outside, I'm just like, what the...

Don't you have your palm like that gun he said? That was an interesting thing that she had to say there. You have two gay guys on to talk about fingering girls. You guys probably know as much about the straight guys, though. So it's like, I pride myself on my fingering. That's nice to have. I find it to be so, it's like, it's crazy that you have to try to make a girl come with your dick. It's attached to your hips.

You can't move it or wiggle it you got all your fucking fingers man do you press it as you're in there this is such a dirty podcast you can't you press it as you're in there if you want it to fucking explode bro joey is the dad this is like look at look at these little These fucking guys Who talk What are you guys gay or something? You guys talk outrageous

All the time I just bring up pussy And you're like Oh god My virgin ears Jesus Christ You guys are perverted Is this like

For people on our show? No I'm like nauseous I feel like I just had Like a shot of Ozempic Like I'm ready to throw up Oh that's what I had to do today I Like a shot of Ozempic Like I'm ready to throw up Oh that's what I have to do today I forgot

Are you doing Ozempic For the tour? Um I do I take it every day Every week What is Ozempic again? It's the weight loss shit

Oh okay Diabetes Right What do you do? You pay off a doctor for that? No he just gives it to me He just gives it to you? Yeah

He needs a doctor shop A little for it right? No He offered it to me Really? He's like You look like someone Who could use Diabetes medication Did he just give it to you? Yeah. He needs to doctor shop a little for it, right? No. He offered it to me. Really? He's like, you look like someone who could use diabetes medication. It's easy.

All you do is do it. Then you're not hungry. Then you lose weight. Yep. Are you guys excited for the tour? I am. It's not just one show. One city stop.

One stop. But you're doing Zany's in Nashville, right? Yes. Zany's in Nashville is dope. I can recommend it. Have you guys been there? Yeah. Zany's is very cool show Zany's in Nashville is dope I can recommend the festival have you guys been there yeah Zany's is very cool it's actually the one place

comedians we talk to a lot of comedians and everyone likes a lit cigarette everyone's always like that's a great room that's a great room

great room when they say that room I feel like I'm so on the inside of the but Zany's you can understand it a lot of them

are like Zany's looks like all the same Zany's I think it's the low the low ceiling the second deck which is like particularly low like it is like there that had one of the more like raucous laughter crowns yep we've had it was low ceilings hope there's low standards there as well but yeah chelsea hammer's performing there the week before we are and she's one of my idols i love her she's opening for us. She's opening. That's what we say. We just read all the comics that are opening for us.

It's funny because our shows are so themed, and every time Joey and I are like, let's just try something a little more stand-up-y. And then we sit down, and we're like, we need a wig reveal. Marty, get on the phone with the lights. We're going to have music cues. We're going to do this. Joey's like, I'm going to bring my meters. I'm going to spray the crowd with them.

It's a variety show. It's a variety show. She's wearing spurs and fucking syrups. I showed him my outfit today. He was like, I need to step my pussy up. It was like a frilled thing.

Fringe. It's called fringe. Fringe. That's hilarious. But it's going to be fun and we're going to go out booze and have, that's really,

that's like the half it. I plan like Why you're doing it Yeah You plan to stop With the club I do all that And then he takes care

Of the party Yeah That's how we It's like a married couple We split it up I'm going to say The business half He does the fun half

Yeah You do the fun After you get a drink You guys should come We're going to be in Somewhere Where are you going to be? We have shows ourselves

This week On Thursday The show is Thursday at Zany's in nashville the boys uh dallas on thursdays where we are oh at the roundup i don't know what the round where are we nick addison improv addison improv go buy tickets you know these fuckers did they were selling only about that's that is hou did? They were selling only available. That is Houston. Houston was selling only available in four or six.

Why? Something about like tabletops and trying to like organize it. I was like, we have people who come alone. We have a ton of people who come with two. So the tickets only started selling like recently. So I was like, fuck. That's what we're saying about our show as well. That's why it's exciting.

You're messing a glitch. I can't even imagine you guys live because we like to cut loose live because you know it's not on the internet you can do and say whatever you want so show some things usually we just show you coming on your face yes but you guys can do all that shit i'm sure you guys are yeah it's just i mean it's just unhinged yeah it's beyond it's like there's a plan and we've gotten better, I think, at following like, it is a show.

It's not us. I learned to not start drinking until I actually get on the stage because if I fucked up before I get on stage, I'm sleeping about half the time. I take my pants

and smoke on stage. I had to make that change where it was just like, because people are like passing up whiskeys and stuff and then like, if you've been drinking beforehand, you're like,

I am blacked out with a microphone and a crowd. And it's also – I'm Jesus right now. That's also going to be an initiative to want to actually go on the stage and do the show because you know once you get out, you can have a drink. You're a treat. It's always you who starts it. I try and hold off. I'm like, get my ducks in a row, kind of make good. Are we good? Hit the music at the right time.

We just do the show for the entrance. That's really all we do. It's all downhill from there. Yeah, then it's all downhill from there. Thanks for coming out. See you guys later. And then he'll always be like, all right, we're about 10 minutes out. Half hour late.

Always gay. And I'll be like, how's the cocktail, Trish? We're just pouring you a double. And it's like, it starts by the end of the show. Yeah, I'm sloshed. And I always have a bucket on stage with at least three bottles of wine. For himself.

Actually, when we were in Nashville, I think I drank a six-pack of Old Duels on stage. Old Duels? One time you ate 15 fucking cheeseburgers, didn't you? I tried. Not succeed. Yeah, that's hard. Real cheeseburgers?

Yeah, McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's.

McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's.

McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's.

McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's.

McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's.

McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's. cheeseburgers yeah the mcdonald's mcdonald's dollar menu ones oh my god and this was just to cover up some hurt that's happening inside what it all is baby we need this fucking shows for good turnout like any like we like we sold out relatively quick like on the east coast went to nashville and we're like it's not easy man it's different yeah no people people think uh people think it's easy and it is not it's like you have your your strongholds where people know you and like you and then you got places where you got to like fucking work at it you know yep we gotta have flyers on wednesday night we're gonna go barkers yeah is that what called barkers yeah do you guys have groupies um oh dude i I always say when I was with you guys on the – I met up with you in Boston probably about two years ago now where I think you guys were on Barstool vs. America.

Maybe that was last year. Oh, yeah. And it was like – I was in town for a Bruins game. It's that bar. It's two level. Yeah. And I just like caught up and it was the Barstool vs. America crew. And I just heard the whole time just like, Pat, Joey they girls or guys girls girls so you have like all i mean

do you have groupies that will fuck you because your podcast hosts yes yeah probably that are guys we could yeah yeah and we could have sex with any one of the women the man mafia will absolutely put out for you guys no for sure yeah if they could if you could go what a racket if you guys were actually straight and you can go town to town being like, I'll be your first. You'll be my first. Saying it. Imagine. No, we have – yeah, we have some group. We have a couple guys who show up.

They showed up last time. One of the guys showed up in a shirt with a pack of drugs taped to it. Oh, that's cool. A real one? Yeah. Real pack of drugs? I guess, yeah. I got a guy in my DMs.

What's he saying? My left foot. This guy has always had a thing for me. Let me see. I scroll back to 2021. Does he follow me too? He signed off the letter as, you're your best gay fan.

Is this our FinSub? No. No, it's not. Donnie's doming him out now. Chef Donnie. Really? Yeah, he's selling Chef Donnie money. This guy said that you should change this to your profile picture.

I don't know his name. I do know his name. I don't want to say it though. But he tried to get me jealous. He screenshotted money that he sent to Donnie so I would dom him out more. Wow. I go, you're sending money to other people? You little fucking slut.

Who is this? He's a pig. I don't know if we should say it. We shouldn't say it. No. No, we should not say it. We should not say it. You fucking crazy.

It's his sub too. Yeah. So what do you do for him? Send dick pics? Oh, no. This was probably three years ago at this point. Two years ago, whatever it was. But yeah, just like tell him he's a little bitch and all that good stuff.

On video? No. Via text? Via text. Not even text. Chef Donnie did it? On like Instagram or whatever instagram or whatever allegedly i just blew up chef johnny's spot this guy let me see this picture this guy he's a gay guy whose profile is china interfered with the 2020 election enshrined the hyde amendment i don't know what that is and hashtag trump24. That's my burner account. He said,

you sell feet pics, I want. Oh my god, I thought you shouldn't show it. They're total blue. Awesome. We haven't talked about that recently or anything, right? Just out of nowhere, this guy. Can I see his picture? Yeah. Poor Jones.

Oh, that's a... That is Bridget Everett. I don't know who that is, but I trust it's funny. Bridget Everett. I don't know who that is, but I trust it's funny. Bridget Everett. She's a comedian. It looks like Bridget Everett. Exactly like Bridget Everett. Did you send them?

No. No. You didn't pick them up. I don't follow her. This is a prepad. Remember when you'd fire up the cameo every once in a while? Bro, that was literally every time bills got tight. I was like, cameo time!

Now they hit me up every now and then. They're like, you got a bunch of requests. I'm like, never doing that again. Sorry! I remember when Dave would always make fun of it. He'd be like, if you're doing cameo, you're a fucking loser and your career's going nowhere. I was like, listen, I'm not going to turn my nose up at good money. There are some people who make tens of thousands of dollars. Then the check came in and I was like, now listen, I'm not going to turn my nose up at good money. There are some people

who make tens of thousands of dollars and then the check came in and I was like, I'm never doing that again. But yo, I mean, I'm sure, I think Friday the Tank

is the most requested person on Cameo. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what he charges, but I'm sure Friday the Tank is making money. I charge $150. And what do you do? You jerk off and stuff? No. That's my making money. I charge $150. And what do you do? You jerk off and stuff?

No, but that's my only fans. You charge $150. I mean, you could probably do one into the mic right now if you had to. I have like four in my thing I have to do. No, it's just, hey, girl. No, I mean, I will not be doing it again. But I do.

No, it makes sense. There's no shame in that game, man. It's a gift. And then you kind of get into like a flow. I don't about you but it's just like saying the same thing over and over yeah it's like i got a bachelor party i got a birthday i got a this i got that you have to bang out during the holidays you have to bang out like 30 of them like one an hour yeah yeah yeah and like like things like weird things for me like father's day would be a big one or like but i will tell you it is a humbling experience trying to set your cameo price

yeah yeah because you will look at other people and be like well they're doing like 100 i'll do like 150 yeah and then nobody buys you and then you put it to like 40 and people like flood in it's like okay so i'm worth 40 yeah two twenty20. I think I did $40. I think I did $50. Worth $40? I'm worth $40? It's disgusting. And I would like, the sum of it, it would add up.

And it was really at times when I was paying for lawyers and shit, and I was like, I legit need this money. But the... So adding it up, looking at it, be like, alright, I made that much for the year. That was worth it. But the feeling like adding it up looking at it be like all right i made like that much for the year that was worth it but the feeling of doing it in the moment yeah i just did that for 40 dollars i would literally rather jerk you off autographs like people celebrities with their their headshots competition autograph worth like i'm only worth two dollars yeah yeah

that is fucking just that feels like shit did Did you see Pete Davidson at the Garden? Yeah, shot that guy? Yeah. But did you see what that fucking guy was doing to him? No. He was putting his head on his shoulder and rubbing his back. He's old. He's like in his 60s.

He's a white-haired guy. After the game, as he was walking out, all the fans were hounding him. And this guy puts his head on his shoulder, and then he touches him him and then he's jumping in all the fucking selfies photo bombing the teen girls and and pete just like takes it and takes it eventually just get the fuck off me but then twitter only showed the first half of that video and they were like look at pete davidson shoving a fan fuck you he showed incredible restraint i legit think i would have like done worse to that guy but did he warn him like i thought he was kind of a dickhead if he didn't warn him it's like if there was no warning at all and it's like leading up you should be like hey back off back off i don't know ignoring him and

then all of a sudden you shove him yeah no i'm i'm pro shove yeah yeah i i don't think i think that was the the warning he kind of did a quick he didn't do a art like he went like that like bam like get the way did he fall down away from me no no no no but but i yeah i think i think the guy was like what like why did you do that it's because you're a fucking drunk like 50 i'm sure that guy has kids at home and his kids are like oh my god dad you fucking physically sexually assaulted pete davidson jesus christ hammered hammered i'm sure i'm sure he yeah i'm sure he's a big wig I'm sure he's a big wig. I'm sure he's a big wig who is used to getting whatever he wants and all that shit. And is like, fucking me and Pete.

No, dude. Get the fuck off. We saw him at NASCAR, remember? Who? Pete Davidson. Did we? Yeah, wasn't he there? Maybe.

I went backstage at one of his shows right before he really popped. Yeah. Me and Caitlin went. She was pregnant. He took pictures with her belly. It was really popped. Yeah. Me and Caitlin went, she was pregnant, he took pictures with her belly, and, like, it was really nice,

he was weird, he, like, he, like, held the belly. You shut down. And then,

and then, like, he got, like, so big, and, I think we, I think we texted a couple times,

or something, and then he just, you know, it's like, see you never, like, and then we made fun of his butthole eyes, and he,

he talked about that in his special, and I think he was like, fuck you guys. He has butthole of his butthole eyes, and he talked about that in his special, and I think he was like, fuck you guys. He has butthole eyes? Chaps, yeah. That was a classic. He just wrote a blog, Pete Davis and his butthole eyes. And it went mega viral, because eyes look like assholes. He has dark circles.

Who doesn't? But then in his special, he was like, fame isn't all that great. I was doing okay, and people knew me, and then I blew up, and now Barstool Sports says I have butthole eyes. And it got a good laugh. So what's up with the pod these days?

I feel like when we last talked, you guys were like, it was still relatively newish. Are you guys now settled in? This is it. This is the long haul now. You're married, basically. The honeymoon's over. You're not fucking each other anymore. The honeymoon is it. This is the long haul now. You're married, basically. The honeymoon's over. You're not fucking each other anymore. I don't know if you want to open this can of worms.

Has there been out and out? Pat got noticeably red. Marty's got some footage that I think... Have you guys had meltdowns and fights? Oh, God, yeah. When he tries to come for me, I have to put her in her place. Listen, if you spend a lot of time with people, you he tries to come for me, I have to put her in her place. Listen,

if you spend a lot of time with people, you're going to get anxious. You guys don't, because you guys are like the most relaxed people on Earth.

We're too high-strung faggots. With an upper's addiction. We're too gay drug addicts who are just fucking trying to string a sentence

together twice a week and so it's high strung. He does nothing. We'll butt his. No, but it's been good. And then there's Marty just in the mix like, what the fuck?

I used to do ESPN radio in Louisiana. Take me back. He's dealing with the two, arguably the two biggest queens in Manhattan. From Shreveport to here. take me back he's dealing with the two arguably the two biggest queens in manhattan from shreveport

to here like the most that is so fucking funny does he go to the shows with you yeah

oh yeah and so he's just like there for the man mafia and the queens and the drag and everything so marty soaks it

up marty loves it yeah and marty's great too like he's so helpful he does you know whatever we need him to do How many straight guys You think are at your shows?

Girlfriends bring them Girlfriends bring them Yeah A decent amount Huh? A decent amount? I'd probably say like You guys should

Call them out And make them come on stage Humiliate them Boston had a decent amount We did that at Boston That was actually fun We're trying to do more Audience interaction stuff

But it's tough Because the longer you wait The drunker they get The harder it is Control shit Boston's probably not the spot Boston. That was actually fun. We're trying to do more audience interaction stuff, but it's tough because the longer you wait, the drunker they get. The harder it is to control shit. Boston's probably not the spot to do it either.

Boston was. People were hammered. Oh my God. I love that when Boston tries to pretend they're not drunk racists. It's like, yes you are. It's all you guys are

and it's fine. America needs that. We were just there for the Pirate Water event in St. Paisley. Yeah, a bunch of drunk Racist children Running around

That was a shit show That was crazy That was so long It was like Because everyone Everyone you see If you're in a float For a parade

It was like a three hour parade Everyone you see They think it's the first They think you're the first people They're the first people You're seeing And they're like Where's your energy?

I've been screaming for two and a half hours. It feels like a fucking saw is going through my head. I had to sit down and compress my head for a little while. I was like, let's go! You were sober, too. I kept yelling, Brianna's over there! Yeah, she's basically fucking Donna. That girl.

She is next level rock star. yeah she's basically fucking Madonna like that girl she is I mean she is next level rock star I love how like she keeps it pretty low key like at least

as I know her she hasn't like changed at all but she definitely could have by now like she's she's on a trajectory that's like

I would have changed yeah I was texting with her about popsicles this weekend I was like I'm texting with your hot chicken fry

alright so where can people get tickets where we don't know the link go to our link in bio or go to Zadie

the Zadie's website Nashville it's there it's all over our social it's all on our stories just click the link Thursday at 730 at Zadie's Comedy Club

I'm sure there'll be a nice little post game going on too yes we're having a nice after party I'm not there will be a nice little post game going on too. Yes. We're having a nice after party. I'm not telling you where it is until you come to the show. Smart man.

Smart man. I even said you don't even have to come. Just buy the tickets. Totally. I don't care if you're there. Just get the tickets and show up. Great. I need 45 of you to buy a ticket and not show up.

It will be a funny thing. Tag us. 45 NPCs that you made the money for. Right, yeah. That sounds good. Save the money on the travel and the airfare and the hotels. Just buy the ticket. Matter of fact, we're going to just stream it live on Zoom. Like, nobody has to buy it.

All right. And everybody, go listen to Out and About Pod. It's the two biggest queens in Manhattan. Drunk. I don't know what was better. You said two high-strung a**holes were gay drug addicts. I don't know. I don't know what should be the tagline.

Maybe you combine the both. It's a combination of problems. I'm for seduction. Cocaine. We're cocaine. You guys are the best. Thank you, boys. Thank you.

Thanks. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.