KFC Radio - Bigfoot Hunting, Jesse McCartney, and How Many Miles of Sex

Episode Date: February 14, 2019

Jose Canseco is looking for 5 lucky contestants to go Bigfoot/Alien hunting and we can think of 3 great candidates (one is Dustin Pedroia). KFC is gonna do HGH. Rone should make a rap to the Pornhub beat. VOicemails: MILF is my mom, WYR face ages or body ages, is it ook to say you want to bang your GF's roommates? And how many miles of sex have you had? Jesse McCartney (56:49) stops by to talk about his classics, collaborating with T-Pain, and making music in the influencer era.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode, KFC Radio, is brought to you by Squarespace. One-stop shop! That's the most overused phrase in all of podcast advertising. It's a one-stop shop for anybody looking to start a website. Because honestly, that's what you want in this world. You want to make one-stop. I'm the king of one trip.

I'll carry everything in from the car in one shot. I will do all my chores, all my errands in one shot. When I want to create a website, I want to do it all in one shot. You can pick up the domain, the website, the online store, the marketing tools, the analytics, everything you need to not only set up your website, but to run your website and see how to make it successful and see what changes to make and all that other stuff all through Squarespace. You want to publish content like Barstool. You want to make storyboards the way we did with Dennis Rodman using Squarespace. You want to set up an e-commerce site. You want to put out content, put out merch, put out your thoughts.

All of it. The best place to get it going is Squarespace. Go to squarespace.com slash KFC for a free trial. You have tons of templates to look at, tons of color schemes and designs. And then when you're ready to rock, when you make your first website domain purchase, you can save 10% when you use the promo code KFC. That's squarespace.com slash KFC, promo code KFC. This is the greatest show.

We're lighting up, we won't come down. And the sun can't stop us now. Watching it come to, we're taking over you. This is the greatest show. Fights his back. He's still being a little bitch, though. He's like, I don't feel good. I feel terrible.

Your window of sympathy, well closed. Long time ago. That's fine. Long time ago. It honestly started to close when you watched the entirety of the Grammys. I didn't even watch the whole Grammys, and I was feeling great. I'm not asking for sympathy. You better not be. I'm just down.

Well, you know. That's what we do here. We find new depths. Places we didn't think you could go. Keith is like, I'm feeling better health-wise. I still just feel down, though. Right. It's like, oh, that has nothing to do with your sickness, dude.

Right. That's just. Today was the hardest day to get out of bed, and I wasn't. Not safe. Yeah. Just one of those days, man. They come, they go. Well, what's happening here is your depression is just mixing in with your cold.

That's what it is. It's like your cold is gone and your depression is kind of like taking back over. It's almost like you were too sick to be depressed and now you're healthy and the depression is back. Yeah. It was like it was a very odd morning. It was just like, God, I feel fine, but I feel worse. God, this kid is really going to kill himself one day. He'll be all right.

Going to kill himself one day. We'll be all right. Going to kill Bigfoot first. Well, me, you, Jose Genseko, we'll see who's going to fucking get, who's going to take down the Yeti, the abominable snowman. He must have just discovered, like, such a unique business model for himself. Jose? I bet he didn't realize how many calls he was going to get. So Jose Genseko put out a tweet that said, come spend the day with me. Go on a Bigfoot excursion and an alien excursion with Jose Canseco.

Contact Morgan Management, and he puts the number. And then he says, come spend the day with me and my alien buddies. I'll show you a Bigfoot and a real alien. Call Morgan. So if you text this phone number. Do I have to text it? I think you can call it.

You can text it. Whatever. The response was, spend the weekend with Jose for $5,000 cash. Only five lucky individuals will get a golden ticket. Oompa Loompas ain't got nothing on Bigfoot. Travel in his custom RV to an authentic site. So, Jose Canseco, he just learned that people are willing to do dumb shit with quote unquote celebrities. Now, to me, Jose Canseco is a fucking rock star.

He's a messiah. He is a bash brother. He is a roid monkey. He is Mr. Hugs for you. He is. He is all that is. He's got a bullet and shit. He is all that is baseball because he lost.

He lost his mind before it was profitable to lose your mind yeah yeah yeah yeah he went crazy when it was just like you couldn't really make money off it it was just like people laughed at him on twitter whereas now you lose your mind on like youtube and you're a star you're fucking number one on the charts you make you monetize that shit jose you think you're crazy jose he's crazy for the love of the game right he ain't even in it for the exposure. He doesn't need a paycheck. He's crazy to be crazy.

Yeah. I mean, when you got that much fucking steroids running through you from 25 years ago, and you got anger and resentment running through you, but also you're trying to make amends and you're trying to be Mr. Hugs for you. I mean, there's a whirlwind going on in Mr. Canseco's life. He lost his thumb, right? Wait, what? Didn't he cut off his thumb or something?

Entirely possible. This is like Tyson's own. Tyson's own, yeah. I wouldn't believe anything you tell me about him. He had a thumb incident. I don't know if he lost the thumb, but there was a thumb incident where the thumb was lost. It might have been reattached.

Something happened with Jose Canseco. I feel like we talked to Mike Studd about it. Probably. Jose Canseco loses finger during poker we talked to Mike Studd about it. Probably. Jose Canseco loses finger during poker game? Sure, there it is, yeah. That's some Sonny shit. Do that in the basement. Like he put it up his ante and they chopped it off?

One of those Vietnamese guys. He accidentally shot off his finger at his Las Vegas home. Totally makes sense, too. Yeah, Mike Studd is his, well, was. Was. Like, you know, son-in-law situation. Not anymore, though. But he always said that Jose was, like, the nicest dude in the world.

Like, a real cool cat. Like, that's a guy, Jose. I mean, you'll probably try to charge us $5,000, but we'd love to have you on the show. This tweet from 2014. Damn, I was playing in a poker tournament last night, and something crazy happened to my finger that I shot off and they put back on. Well worded Jose. Very eloquent. That's 2014 shit. That goes viral

as fuck now. Back then it was like the world hadn't been like Trumpified yet. It has 402 likes. It's crazy. That's nuts. That would be like half a million. I think I said I hope I die yesterday. I got like 500 likes. I didn't have to shoot off a single appendage.

Maybe we should just pay this and go with the Zooms and fucking have a podcast. Oh, we should definitely pay it. I mean, $5,000 for what? I mean, that'll be one ad read. As far as, I don't think it's that. I think as far as like, we've always had pretty low overhead here at KS3. Right. We've banked a good amount of money here.

Give us five grand to go fucking. Pick a sponsor off that list. We'll make money on this. I don't think we've ever cost the company anything other than if we flew somewhere. And even then, those were things we were told to go on. Right. We've never been like, hey, we want to go here. I paid for John and Dan to come to KFC Radio 100.

Right. We paid for the fucking helicopter for the Saturdays for the boys. That's right. Yeah, we're in the hole. So, fuck you, Resnick. It was five grand. We just want to go hunt Bigfoot. To go camping with Bigfoot, with fucking Jose Canseco.

Honestly, who wins in a fight? Jose Canseco roided up with a bat versus Bigfoot. I'm still going to go with the supernatural creature. Oh, so Jose, me too. I mean, that dude, are you kidding me? He's not human. Seriously, if you took prime steroids, Jose Canseco with a bat. I mean, I think it's a fair fight.

Until he's close. I think it's a fair fight. Here's a question for you. Who wins in a fight, Bigfoot or a grizzly bear? Because if you think about it, if you're adding some human to the grizzly bear, basically, you're almost making him

less. I think you're making it less powerful. Right. Yes. Yes, I agree with that. I think a grizzly bear, anything that's slightly humanoid is probably going to still lose to a full-blown animal. I would agree with that. Unless we just don't know about Bigfoot. Unless Bigfoot's like the absolute strength of a grizzly

bear with the brain and the appendage. I think if you just say Jose Canseco, a full human would have a shot. He's way more than human. He is super... On the steroids? On the steroids, he's a fucking alien. Which we're also going to be chasing. I think a full-blown steroids, roid monkey with the rage in the back.

Speaking of steroids, I just watched Icarus finally. What's that? Oh, that's the Lance Armstrong? No. See, it's so poorly pitched. Good, because I was going to say, I've heard about this, and I don't give a fuck about cycling, man. No, dude, that's not what it is at all. That's so annoying.

Everyone thinks that, where it started off as that. It started off as this guy, he just wants to, it's called the Hot Route, Hot Route, like H-A-U-T-E. And it's like the, it's the most difficult amateur bike race in the world. It's basically the hardest parts. Give me a second. It's the hardest parts of the Tour de France.

All in a row. All in seven days. And he wanted to do it one year where he is, uh, clean and then juice for a year and do it dirty and see what happens. But that's only ends up being like 20 minutes of the whole fucking thing because the guy he decides to juice with, like the,

he's like, he had a friend at UCLA who's like, I can't help you juice because it's like you know i'm this is my job and it will you know my job is to catch juicers he works at like wada he's like but i know a guy who will help you so he introduces him to this russian dude grigory romachenkov of course right and then that dude was the guy at the center of all the, remember when the Russians shit, like the Russians weren't out of the Olympics and all that shit? This was the dude at the center of it. And like all his colleagues start dying.

So they're like trying to get him out of Russia and they're sneaking around. It's awesome. It's so sick. I mean, he was, he was just technically like the number one drug dealer in the world. Really? Oh yeah. I'm not slinging that coke. I'm slinging that fucking.

State sponsored drug dealer. It was like the shit they did, man, yeah. I'm not slinging that coke. I'm slinging that fucking... State-sponsored drug deal. It was like, the shit they did, man, was, first of all, it's crazy to... All for the Olympics? Because they just wanted to win gold medals on the global stage?

It was because they had an embarrassing show in Vancouver, I believe it was. Russia, wild, man. Russia is so wild. They were like, we can't do that again,

so we have to go all out. And then they got caught, though, and they were disqualified for the whole thing. But not in Sochi. Right. Sochi, Sochi they crushed.

Sochi, they led the medal count and gold medal count. And, uh, the, I don't give a fuck about cheating in the Olympics,

so I didn't like tip my cap. Oh yeah, me too. It was, it was, uh, not only were they told, like usually when they,

when they did drug, they would at least like try and get clean tests. This were like, told, like, usually when they did drug, they would at least, like, try and get clean tests. This were, like, they were, like, we're going to piss dirty. What we're trying to figure out is how to switch the piss out. Right. They're, like, we don't even care about trying to test clean. Like, our piss will be dirty. We're trying to figure out how to get clean. The cup that's going to go there, yeah.

Yeah. And so they had, like, this crazy, like, the FSB was involved in it and it was like, it was, it was wild. And then this shit, you see like the real life repercussions of it all. Like Putin went to war over it. Putin started a war because they,

his, his, uh, popularity was up after the Olympics. He's like, I got, I got, I got the cloud.

I can, I can send him to spare. He was like, it was like a 90% popularity rating after the Olympics. And he's like, fuck it. Bomb the Ukraine. He's like, I got the clout. I can send him to spare. He was like, it was like a 90% popularity rating after the Olympics. And he's like, fuck it, bomb the Ukraine. Let's go. And this guy was like, I feel really bad. I didn't know that was going to happen.

Yeah, right. He's like, if I didn't do my job as well, like the Ukraine wouldn't have been bombed. Are these guys like protected? I wouldn't, you know. I don't want to spoil it for you. Yeah. But anyway, Bigfoot. Anyway, Bigfoot.

I want to go really badly. I'm going to do HGH. Are you. Yeah. But anyway, Bigfoot. Anyway, Bigfoot. I want to go really badly. I'm going to do HGH. Are you? Yeah. I've had enough. Let me get you some. I got it. We're good.

Oh, you got it? I mean, I don't physically have it. I have. I know. I know. I know how I can get it. Are you going to buy it? You have to get it. I think that I'm going to try to get a prescription.

I'm going to be like, look, look at this. If you don't get a prescription, I will also. Is it like normal starts where you do have to work out? Or is it just you spontaneously grow muscle? I'm pretty sure you have to work out. But what about that part? It's also a pain in the ass. Literally.

Like watching this guy do it in Icarus, it's like you're doing science on yourself. Yeah. I can't just shoot up once a week. I mean, this guy's got like notebooks and he knows how to do it and how to do it. How much to do. But that'll work great. I just, I feel like I would work out if I was on HGH because I'd be like, this is easy. Fucking, it's gravy.

I'm a superhero. You think that's what HGH does? Yeah, I do. Just makes the weights lighter? I think that, I think that like the hurdles I face, they'll get eliminated. I'll get out of bed. Wonder drug. Yeah, it is.

Did you see Barry Bonds? Did you see what he was doing? He was working out. Yeah, I'm going to work out, bro. Okay. I will work out if I have an illegal substance helping me. Should absolutely be legal. It's human.

It's human. It's normal. Let's do some cycles, baby. By the way, I want to do the Bigfoot thing really bad because I've been scorned before by a professional baseball player who told me we could go hunting Bigfoot and then backed out. That fucking little pussy. Wait, why did he back out? What was his... I forget why.

Dustin Pedroia was like, let's go hunting for Bigfoot. Dustin is a... He's a believer. He's a... Jose's trying to grab some cash. Dustin Pedroia's trying to catch Bigfoot. Dustin gets very annoyed when you ask about it.

Yeah. Because it's like asking him what color the sky is. He's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, it's real. He has quotes with Rob Bradford from EI where he's just like you could tell he's very absurd it was like I went to the Redwoods when I was a kid my dad wanted to show me when you drive to the Redwood tree and all that stuff they had a big like a Sasquatch for me in museum

they got photos of Sasquatch they had all big like a sasquatch man museum they got photos of sasquatch they had all kinds of stuff man so i've been on the search man google some things bradford told uh put your i told bradford during monday's podcast this isn't like a made-up creature that's like 20 feet tall this isn't a movie okay rob this is real life man they're out there god has your body frame bradford's a big dude i don't have time to argue with you how how come in like 1980 washington had a big foot on their on like their state deal pejorie asked bradford you know like welcome to california they got the yellow flower thing or welcome to the sunshine state or whatever washington had a picture of bigfoot and there's

rob how come they had that rob? Man. Rob. Man. He's very, very annoyed to even be discussing it. This is such a stupid thing. Why are we talking about do humans exist? Yeah.

I mean, we're here, Rob. Why are we talking about this? Where do you think Conseco is hunting aliens? Because like... Pedroia and I, Pedroia, it was like me, Dave,

Pedroia, we were going to go in Rhode Island to find Sasquatch. Pedro thinks they're everywhere. Well, that usually that's that's like depends on where you're at. Like the abominable snowman is Bigfoot, but he's in like the Andes or some shit like that.

And up in the Pacific Northwest is Bigfoot. And in Canada, it's Sasquatch. And over there, it's the Yeti. They all have different names for the same thing, but it is kind of all over the place. But yeah, Pedroia is silly. He's like, yeah, I got a spot. I know where he's at.

Does he say he's seen one? I don't believe he's ever seen one. I don't know for sure. I mean, look, it's on the state deal, Kevin. I know. It's like, what? Like, nobody could put something on a fucking sign that doesn't exist? I mean, you know why they did that?

Tourism. Yeah. They wanted people to come here and look for it. Do you believe in Bigfoot? I don't know, man. My heart of hearts, no. But I'd like to. I want to believe, and I do think that there's every chance

that there's some undiscovered species and shit. Can you imagine being the dudes in whatever that was, the 50s, 60s, whatever, who have that picture, you know, the one where he's like walking, he's got his arms swinging. Like imagine if you were the guys who staged that picture and you're like, we created a international myth.

Yeah. It's like legend. It's like the 12 disciples and then us. Yep. Right. Right. As far as they made Jesus, we made this fucking guy. The greatest dupers in all time i mean harry and the hendersons the tvs movies said you know fucking tours

themselves dust dust and pedroia was they could say go probably be so pissed like i want a cut of that shit man i also feel like by now you like i'm surprised they haven't really upped their hoax game like i'm surprised there's not somebody out there in some serious special effects movie type shit running around every now and then in the Pacific Northwest. So there's a couple more pictures that float around. I feel like it's easier. You might get shot though. It was easier then.

Yeah, right. Now it's just like... It's too technical. There are too many people who are good at it. Back then there weren't many people who were good at faking stuff like that. Right. Now it's a real profession. Right. Back then, it was, you know, you tip over a canoe, hold up a stick, like, it's a Loch Ness Monster. Is that what it was?

Everyone's like, I don't know. But it could have been. Yeah. But it's. I mean, the Loch Ness Monster, I want to definitely believe that. That shit is fake as fuck. I mean, it's just, there's a lake. It's a fucking very finite space. You can check that lake, and if there's nothing in there, it's not in there.

Yeah, but I think it's the deepest lake in the world, right? It's one of those things where, you know. We've never been to the bottom of that shit? I believe so. That's a different story. I feel like we should be, you know, down there. We should just drain it. Like, let's just, like.

I don't know how to fund that. Get a fucking chop back in there. We can build a wall. We can drain this lake, and then we'll just put water back in and be like, we checked. Imagine that. They just drain and just fucking. Like, put put water back in be like we checked imagine that they just drained and just fucking like put the water back in i'm about to die shout out to the lockdown sponsor let's do some voicemails we got jesse mccartney coming up also out right now uh answer the internet featuring andrea savage she was the first girl she recorded it before we put before camille so andrea was the first girl to ever do it uh and

tonight is i don't know i don't want to promise anybody we have several to choose from so i'll find out which which video is being edited right now but you know the deal tuesdays and thursdays nine o'clock is uh answer the internet and me and Feidelberg go IG Live around 845. We give you a little impromptu KFC radio. Last night, we were watching porn. John was watching porn upside down. What did you end up selecting again? Just like a Mike Gaggiano video.

Classic. Just stick to the basics. I've gotten bored of those, but it was on the front page. The other day, I was writing a blog about the guy on pornhub who just does mundane tasks yeah so i pull i just open up pornhub to like find it and you know we're in the workplace and my recommended for you is up you know it's like x out of that greatest music in the world greatest like musical riff in the world. There's not another chord or whatever you want to call that in music that can evoke more feeling than that. Like I,

you know, the first chord of the national Anthem or some Beatles song. Somebody needs to put in a beat, right? I can't believe it hasn't been done. Roan, what are you doing, man?

Go make a Pornhub rap. Let's get into voicemails brought to you by SeatGeek. You want to go, uh, they should like sell tickets to Jose Canseco tracking Bigfoot. That would be some live event shit. I hope that this is, like, a reality show. They're filming this. The best.

At least, like, on his YouTube page. Five grand for that, times five people. It's not that much. You know? You shouldn't limit it to five, bro. But I guess it's all about the hunt. So who knows? Maybe one day you could buy tickets to Jose Canseco hunting Bigfoot for right now.

You're like SEAL team. Yeah, yeah. Right. I get that. But it's like you're only going to make 25 grand then, dude. You know, we see key tickets you can buy with that, though, because it's the most affordable secondary market in the game. Takes all the tickets available, puts them in an easy-to-read chart. I'm talking about tickets to sporting events, to concerts, live comedians, live music, live musicals, plays,

the whole nine, Broadway, all of it. Every ticket is guaranteed real, no fraudulent tickets, and every ticket is graded based on the value, and it'll help you identify the best price possible. Download the free SeatGeek app, enter promo code KFC today for $. Download the free SeatGeek app. Enter promo code KFC today for $10 off your first SeatGeek purchase. That's download the SeatGeek app. Enter promo code KFC under settings

for $10 off your first purchase. Hey, KFC, Fight, Super Producer BC. So I have a question. Would you rather, in your eyes, have your girlfriend be super hot? She have a question. Would you rather in your eyes have your girlfriend be super hot she's a 10, but your friends see her as disgusting, the most gross

homeless woman, horrible. Or would you rather see your girl as gross but all your friends see her as a supermodel. So it's either your friends think you're dating a slob. Yeah, we got it. I mean, it's a tale as old as time here.

I think I always know my answer. I think I do too. One, two, three. Friends. But there's also stipulations. Also, I don't give a fuck about my friends. I'm with strangers. Right.

I actually, the opinions I care about the least in this world are my friends. It goes like strangers, family, friends, then myself, I guess. My own opinion. But if my friends try to tell me what to do or anything, I'm like, you get the fuck out of here. What do you know? You're just my friend. Get the fuck out. You're friends with me. You're a fucking idiot. You're an do you know? You're just my friend. Get the fuck out. You're friends with me.

You're a fucking idiot. You're an idiot. Yeah. You're an idiot. But if I had to have sex with her, I don't know that I could. Right. Because this is the thing. I very much think hotness wears off.

And I think it wears off pretty quickly. Not in the sense that you shouldn't totally be mailing it in and be like, I'm not attracted to this person anymore. But you go on a couple dates with someone who's hot and you're like oh my god like i want to get this girl naked i want to have sex with her i want to look at her i want to touch her i love her you know what i mean that i think for most adults goes pretty quickly i would agree i think you get in a relationship you you really like the girl you start to see her more or maybe i should say you take it for granted. Okay, that's fair. So my first thought was like, you know, I'm not going to be thinking 24-7 about, oh my gosh, she's so hot. And I'm not going to be so – if this were to happen in real life.

It goes – you take it for granted often. But then they get naked or something and you're like, oh. Damn. Yeah, like, oh shit. I forgot. But I think like if you were to do this on a reasonable scale, if somebody like, if you were dating somebody that like gained weight, no,

I don't think you would notice, you know what I mean? Or you, you might notice, but you don't even care. It's just like, yeah, it used to be hotter.

You put on some pounds. It's not, you're not, you're no longer like exactly what I ideally want, but I don't even think, I don't even think that I, I think you'd notice, but I don't even think i don't even think that i i think you'd notice but i don't even think you'd have that conversation like you know ideally what i want

oh i would never say it but i'm saying even my hair i don't think i have that right so that's my point is that you know these things can kind of change but for the sake of these sake of these hypotheticals we are talking like she's disgusting yeah because if it was just like oh she's no longer at 10 but everyone thinks she is sign me up yeah, I don't know if like every time, you know, we hit the bedroom, if I'm supposed to envision like a 400 pound homeless girl. Yeah, if it's a shallow house situation. I never understood that, though, because it's like a visual thing. But like when you touch her, she's not fat. Like how does shallow house supposed to work when it's like she's physically a skinny person or no.

Wait, what was she? She was physically fat. So like when you go to touch her and you feel like this fit body that that, you know, there's a loophole in that. And that there's a problem. That's like when she touches underwear. Yeah. They're gigantic. Yeah.

So, I mean, if I if we're playing straight shallow house rules, when we go to bed, if I would need to lift her fat rolls and stuff, if I'm being honest, probably not. Can't do it. Can't do it. But if we're just talking like she becomes ugly but not like a freak show, I really want others to think that she's hot. Yeah. The outside perception is always what matters. I mean, I don't know why he's laughing. Don't know why that was a joke.

What other people think about you is the most important thing in the world. It does not count. No, it's not even that. It's what other people think about you is the most important thing in the world. What other people think about you is the only thing that really matters. Perception? No, seriously, I'm dead serious. Perception is reality.

You could be like the nice, you could be a really nice person and people don't believe you. They think shit of you and that's it. You're an asshole. You could be perfect and one rumor or one bad example or one person doesn't like you, that's it. You're an asshole to everybody. And like I don't even care to know their opinion on the person. I just want to know that they know. Does that make sense?

I don't want to hear it to my own ears, but I'll hear rumors. Be like, oh, someone saw you last night with this weapon. Right. Yeah, they did. Stop talking to me. Nice. Thanks. Yeah.

I mean, I think that the – I think probably psychologically in general, hotness is all about showing off and not yourself behind closed doors. It's like I like it. But again, there's been, there's been girls who are hotter that I liked less than girls who are less hot. And you know what I mean? It's that's, that's all, that's all mental and relative type shit. The, but, but being cool perception.

Has that changed for you since you were younger? Like when I was younger, hotness used to matter more, you think? Might be swinging back the other way right now. No. I think, if anything, maybe the opposite. I think maybe when I was younger, I was a little more like, I don't know, I'll take whatever I can get. And now I think I could be a little more... Juicy bad i don't know that probably sounds like an asshole but no i don't think so i i i don't i don't know where i stand on that anymore i know when i was younger

it was definitely like no actually i don't i don't know i think i've always been the same i mean i i know i always said to anybody i don't never i I think I've always been the same. I mean, I know I always said to my – I would talk to anybody. I used to never – I used to be pretty – I guess as much as I was like beggars can't be choosers, I never really – I always said to myself if I could go back in time, I would tell younger me, like, hook up with more girls. Who cares if she's not as hot as you think? See, I wouldn't say that. And you always say no. I think it's well worth the experience. up with more girls who cares if she's not like as hot as you think or who cares you say no i think it's well worth the experience i think it's like always a do it for the story situation i think

that you just naturally become more comfortable with dating and talking to girls and hooking up man it's practice it's just to me it's like reps and and like and experiences it's like i'd rather how many times i just like stumble home with my friend blacked out drunk rather than you know why don't i just like take that girl out or hook up with her at the bar or go home with her or whatever? I guess. But if you're talking for the story, I would say I would say get in more trouble. I got in a significant amount of trouble. I would still say get in more trouble.

But so you're saying the story is not about hooking up to you. No, because I don't shit. I've hooked up with less than attractive people and there's never a good story there it's just awkward sex and you don't really like each other it's an awkward second five but if it's a chaotic night you have a better story that's fair yeah I do think better stories are

not just like hook up stories but I don't even necessarily mean like do it for the story for like your buddies to like story time I think of like I used to think about blogging and when I was working from home and I moved to Hoboken and I wasn't going out anymore, it was just like,

I would drop the baby off, pick the baby up, right in between, never really leave the house and as happy as I am to just be team indoors and be a homebody, I was like,

I don't even have like my commute anymore for stories or inspiration. Like you see shit on the subway. You see shit on your walk. Things happen to you the more that you just do it. So more in that sense where it's like, go home with her. Hook up with her.

See what happens. Maybe she's fucking incredible in bed. Maybe she's so bad in bed you do have a story. Or maybe the boyfriend comes in and you got to run. Or just live and say yes rather than no. Because the alternative is just like a few more shots of tequila or stuff your face with pizza and like who cares if she's not you know the cutest then you can get in trouble john wants to go to jail i want to get laid it's the kfc radio style

what's up boys so riding uh breakfast to my girlfriend and and we stumbled across an interesting question for you guys. We were just wondering, how many miles do you think you guys have had sex in your entire life? No, you're saying it wrong. No, how many miles? So if a girl is riding a stick, how many miles did she ride? Yeah, so how many? I love this.

I love this. Yeah, so... I love this. But, like, also for guys. So I, like, first of all, I just love this whole setting. Like, me and my girlfriend are at breakfast, and we're talking. Like, these two are hungover eating, like, pancakes, and she's like, you better ask John and Kevin. You're an idiot.

And then, as he asked that, I was like, this is so convoluted. To hear the girl speak up and be like, no, you're doing it wrong, is so fucking perfect. So, or let him finish that, I was like, this is so convoluted to hear the girl speak up. He's like, no, you're doing it wrong. It's so fucking perfect. So let him finish up, I guess. I don't know if that exactly works, but it makes sense. It makes more sense if you think about how many miles has a girl ridden. So I guess off that, would you rather have low miles? Now we're doing a would you rather?

Obviously low. Are you sure? But then what if she's bad? We're basically doing a show for you. Just answer the question. I love this. Couple of the year. These guys get free T-shirts, free tickets, whatever.

Get at us if you're this couple. So for a girl, I mean, I guess it's like you think about like riding a horse. Like every time you're like bouncing up and down, it's because a horse is trotting along. And so how many miles would that be? I don't think that many miles. I would guess not many miles. I mean, obviously it depends on how many people you fucked. But even if you do, it's like a few minutes long and you're only you're only on top for a portion of the time i mean i would guess a woman is on top three minutes right per session

i'm not i'm not i'm a top guy myself right but it would be less with me maybe i'm a top guy but i'm like okay like it's time for you to come get yourself off let's go you know what i mean how about and do your thing uh i you know it's time for you to come get yourself off. Let's go. You know what I mean? Hop up and do your thing. You know what's such bullshit? How much work we have to do. I don't mind it, but I think we get taken for granted. Oh, do we? Yeah, I do.

Men are taken for granted? In the bedroom, for sure. White men, so underappreciated. I feel like, I mean, maybe it's because I'm just horribly out of shape, too, but we wrap up, and I'm like gassed. And she's just like, nah. Like, yeah, well, you didn't fucking do anything. All right?

I'm out of breath. I'm sweating. Go get me some water. Because all you did was just sit there on your hands and knees for a little while. I tend to agree with that. And I'm like, you're the one who's more in shape. You should be doing all the work. Come on.

It's probably more just me. Yeah. My body type. I mean, there is nothing more embarrassing i'm like shake you know like when like when you're holding yourself i will be like shaking like i'm shaking for entirely different reasons i'm not shaking because i'm in euphoria right i'm shaking because i my arms are tired and i've just done and i physically exerted myself to and and you know you have that like sex strength and then when you come everything cramps up everything gets weak you realize like oh shit I've been holding myself up I've been doing like a plank for the last like four and a half minutes when I finish sex I am like like it's like I it's like a hangover movie type scene like when I just woke

up and I'm like I'm like crawling across the bed. I'm so loud. I was going to say, give me the water. I was going to say, I'm like Seth Rogen in Superbad. I'm like, that was the best sex line.

That was the best sex line. Give me some water. I can't do it. It's so true. The theatrics that are put on, I don't know. It's probably so embarrassing. Like,

I hope that girls aren't having that like post nut clarity with me where they're like, oh, Jesus Christ. I just put this guy into fucking, into respiratory failure. Jesus Christ, pal. You know what happens with me too, which is the worst? Oh, boy. Is I don't have a quick, long turnaround time. You want to fuck again? I don't want to.

My body does. But you're back. Yeah. So I will, if I lay in bed naked, do I keep continuing to lay in bed naked? In like three minutes. Good for you, show off. No, it's not good. What a show off.

I have to get out of my clothes and I can't ride away. So do you want to fuck you again? So I don't have sex again. I'm like, I like need to get up right away. I'm like, all right, that's it. That's it. That's it. Because of my body.

Why don't you just fuck again, dude? I mean, I do. Usually I do. But I'm not happy about it. I'm like, you got to get on top this time. Because this is. Yeah, I'll die. He might be back to life. The rest of me is not.

I'm dead. It's awful. I don't wish it upon my worst enemy. I can't even begin to describe to girls, at least for myself, and it sounds like you're in agreement, the diminishing returns from multiple sex sessions. I mean you fall off such a fucking cliff after number one. I'm like – at least I'm good for a little while. You know what I mean you fall off such a fucking cliff after number one I'm like at least I'm good for a little while you know what I mean like I that second round to me is a fucking chore

I feel a responsibility that's what I'm saying I think I'm supposed to have sex with you again I think that's what is hot I think that's what's cool I think that you want to come again I rape myself I absolutely rape myself I rape myself I'm like I look at that. I think that you want to come again. I rate myself. I absolutely rate myself. I look at that dick. I'm like, my dick and my blood flow has betrayed me yet

again. You motherfuckers are going to make me do this again, aren't you? I wonder, though, I would love to hear if some girl was always, you know, the girl next to me is like, I guess this dick's hard again. I guess I got to fuck him. I'm like, listen, it's okay. Not every hard dick needs to be fucked, okay? This will go away. Don't worry. I do like, listen, it's okay. Not every hard dick needs to be fucked, okay?

This will go away. Don't worry. I do that, too, when I see, because, like, I don't go out here. So, like, most, like, girls I've slept with, it's like, you know, like, see them for, I go see them for a weekend or they come see me for a weekend. Right. So you smash out the whole time. And I don't want to do that. Yeah.

No. I don't want to do that at all. And it's just like, oh, yeah, we didn't get out of bed all day Saturday. Like, I wish we did. Right. It's like that. I wish we went to a fucking farmer's market or something. I would love to go see a play with you.

I heard there was a great exhibit at the museum instead we fucked four times. I feel like when you hit four, I think it's like one, I want to have sex. Two, I'm like, fuck this. Three, I want to like kill you. But then I think you hit like four into five and you start

to get like kind of competitive yeah kind of cocky with it like boy i haven't done this since i was 17 that kind of shit what do you think what do you think like oh wait by the way i can't even answer this question i have no idea 10 miles a thousand miles i was thinking of it for a guy kind of like because of the thrusting, almost like riding a bike uphill. I got Icarus on the mind. Oh, yeah. I can see that.

You're on the mountains. Like that. Lance Armstrong style. I don't know how far I would go. I would imagine. Not that far. I mean, think about just like five minutes of cardio. How far do you go?

Not that far. No, biking, you go pretty far. You're not on a bike, though. I know what you mean. It's the motion, but the bike is rolling on wheels. If that motion was you on a bike, then I think you would go pretty far. I think it's more like cross-country skiing. You get a little bit of glide, but for the most part, you're like step for step.

You're move for move. Okay. And if I cross-country ski for five minutes, like once a week for fucking, you know. I don't know. I still don't know the answer. Like a couple miles. I thought they meant, when I listened to this at first, I thought they meant like inches ridden.

Oh, no. I took it to mean more like traveling, like cardio-wise. All right, let's move on. All I know is that for like three years, for three years I was in dead stop traffic. I didn't go anywhere. KFC, Vice, PC, first time, long time. Got a quick, would you rather have your face never age and your body continue aging? Ooh, good question.

Or your body never age and your face continue aging. So if you're 18 and you started then, your face stays 18, your body keeps aging until you're dead. And does your answer stay the same if your aging part ages twice as fast? So it does all the aging. Okay, so your face stays young or your body ages twice as fast?

Your body stays young, your face ages twice as fast. Keep the face. Keeping the face, you're going to have a fat, gross body. Guess what? I already do. Exactly. I mean, I think this question is... But my face is aged, too.

I think this question is very different for girls and guys. I think that girls, you can do makeup, you can do all sorts of shit with your face to try to preserve it. I think when the body goes, the body goes. It's very obvious. You can't hide fat, really. You can hide your wrinkles. But aging body doesn't mean getting fat necessarily.

I mean, I guess not, but it does for us. I think it means more wrinkly and stuff like that. I think it means a droopy rather than a fat. Well, John, have you been looking at us? We're getting fatter as we get older. But if I knew, I would take precautions. If I knew my body was getting... If I knew that it was aging double...

John, we know. If I knew it was aging double, I would be like, okay, I have a sickness. Oh, so you would get motivated because you'd give yourself a disease? Yeah, I'd be like, I know I'm ill. Well, you're depressed now. You don't do anything about it. You have a disease now. I've been working on that.

I promise you, you would not work out even if you had a double fast disease. I think I would. All right. Well, good for you. But I think I would take. All right. If you're taking out fat, I'll take the face, too. I'll keep my face.

I think to properly age twice as hard, you would be getting fatter. In which case, I think I'd rather have an old face. I think old guys can still fuck. That's true, I guess. Say I still have my hair. Say I was like Silver Fox, but I had like, you know, wrinkly skin.

I still think I could fuck. Yeah. I guess old guys... That's why guys and girls totally different guys age and get distinguished you know that's that patriarchy shit yeah that's great yeah yeah i think i i i have no reason to even try to get in shape i don't think i don't think there's an older guy in hollywood who i mean it gets granted it's hollywood but there's an older guy in hollywood who girls aren't like gaga for right and and then that trickles down so we're not hollywood but we're regular guys.

And it's just like, I have no incentive to like try to get better looking or I mean, every time someone meets my dad, they're like, so yeah, I look like my dad. Yeah. Worst case scenario, you look like that fucking guy. I just feel like the amount, the margin here, the increase,

if I were to get like in shape, would change. I don't think you're getting in shape though. I were to get in shape, it would change. I don't think you're getting in shape, though. I'm just saying in general, though. To me, for me to worry about my body and my looks is pretty pointless. Yeah. No, that's true.

There's nothing I do now that I couldn't do if I was in better shape, I don't think. And nothing you could do when you're in better shape, yeah, that you couldn't do now. It's just like the girls who are like you are going to like you kind of for other reasons anyway. Doesn't affect your job.

It's like, whatever, dude. I'm just going to say pretty mediocre. Skinny fat for life! Let's do an ad read here. Because we are gross. And we do need all the help we can get. We got to get fabfitfun in our life baby i'm pretty sure fabfitfun wants us to be talking to the girls

we have a high listenership of females and fabfitfun is a uh traditionally female type of product in the beauty world and in the fashion world. And for me, I like it a lot. But that's what I'm saying is like, I think that they were like, all right, we're gonna get these guys talk to the girls. It's like, no, no, no, no. We're gonna talk to everybody because I got some masks on my desk right now. I got a FabFitFun thing. So it's, I got this pen now, John.

It's a pen, pencil. And I just color in my dark spots on my eyes. It's like a makeup pencil, I guess. I just draw it on my eye and then I rub it in. Makes my eyes spots on my eyes. It's like a makeup pencil, I guess. I just draw it on my eye, and then I rub it in. Makes my eyes look not as bad. You know, I'm not going to. I'll shoot you straight. Makes them look not as bad.

I got these. You know, I love those fucking masks. The charcoal masks. I do those things way too often. I think that I do them to the point that it's, like, bad for my skin. You know, I do this once a month. I'm like, all right, twice a night. Ripping my face off.

I love all this stuff. So I say treat yourself, but you know, maybe you're not as beta as me and John. Maybe you can get it for the lady in your life. Get it for your girl, for your mom, your sister.

It's Valentine's day after all. It is Valentine's day. And you, at this point it's too late, but you can have like a makeup call. Like, all right. Yeah.

I forgot to get you something on Valentine's day. It'll be there next week. And, uh, it's an late, but you can have a makeup call. Like, all right, yeah, I forgot to get you something on Valentine's Day. It'll be there next week. And it's an awesome care package. I mean, you get everything from beauty products to little fashion must-haves. And you can do it all right now for just $49.99 a box. Everything is full-size. No cheap little sample-size products. All the lotions, all the creams, all the washes,

everything. It's a box that'll get delivered four times a year with beauty, fashion, home, fitness, wellness products for just 50 bucks a box. And right now, when you use the promo code KFC, you get $10 off your first box. So go to fabfitfun.com, promo code KFC, and you're going to get your first $200 box for just $39.99. What? Get it for your girl. Get it for yourself.

Maybe get it for your girl and steal a couple of things. Yeah, no, this is – you should absolutely get this. You know what you're – I mean – $200 for $39? Yeah. To be honest, you've got to get two. You've got to get one for – it's like almost when you order French fries and your girl starts picking at them and eating them. It's like, no, no, no no that's my beauty products okay that's my concealer pen that i need to use every damn day fabfitfun.com promo code kfc let's

keep it moving what up kfc fight it's your boy dirty moan here dirty the other night um normally dirty my girlfriend and i are both drunk and we're in bed together, that's when the real freak shit starts to come out. And I'm pretty sure it's a normal thing. But the other night, I went to the bars and she just stayed home with her friends. And I ended up sleeping over there after I went out. And I was blacked out. And we started hooking up or whatever. And in my mind, I was blacked out and we started hooking up or whatever.

And in my mind, I'm blacked out. So I'm doing my normal, like freaky shit. Like, I don't even want to mention the things that I was saying to her and like asking her to like fuck her roommates and shit. And so she's been like giving me shit about it, um, like the following days. And I just want to know, like, because it kind of pisses me off. Like, do I have the right to be pissed? Like, is that unmentionable?

Or, like, can she just be like, ha-ha, like, you're a fucking weirdo? Because, like, when she's drunk and we're doing it, like, it's all good and we don't talk about it. But I guess it's a little different when I'm black and she's sober. So let me know. Let me just tell you right now, if you bought Barstool Gold, or if you haven't bought it yet, buy it

just strictly for John's face right there. That, like, was the most genuine thing in the world. I didn't see that coming. I thought he was going to be like, I was playing with her butt, or I was saying, I was calling her a slut or something too far. Yeah.

You know, I'm just trying to fuck her roommate. That was like, whoa, buddy. What do you mean is that out of line? Yeah, man. Yeah, man. You fucking blew up the line. What do you mean is that off limits, dude? Yeah.

Yeah, man. What do you mean, man? I mean, now here's the thing. I feel like Pedroia right now. What are we talking about? Why are we even here? What's the thing if i feel like right now what are we talking about why are we even here what's the question sir the only thing i will say is if if when she's drunk they do talk about like fucking other girls like if that is their kink it is a little different if it's just totally out of the blue it doesn't matter i agree i agree either way it's not good i'm just saying i going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe that's one of their things. Like they want to have a threesome or they have threesomes and they talk about it. But either way. What a weird thing to just talk about threesomes all the time. Well, I mean, it doesn't happen. I don't know. I'm making – I'm just trying to get through the diabolical. That's what it seems like.

He's like, yeah, I'm just – she does it when she's drunk. Your thing is just talking about fucking other people? Well, I can see that, too, though. Some people don't have the balls to pull off, to actually do it. It's just weird, dirty talk. Like, I wish your roommate was here. She can probably hear us, man. She's watching shit's creaking.

I mean, either way, though, even if she does talk about it sometimes, or this is your thing, or even if you have fucked the roommates, like when she's sober and or the roommate or the third girl or whatever in this hypothetical situation is not around you you you have to treat that girl as such like even if you had threesomes before like we had that voicemail like a month ago where they fell asleep and they finished and it was like she was engaging in a threesome but then got mad that the guy was having sex with the girl because she passed out. Because if she's not a part of it or she's not in the same level as you are, she will be mad.

Right. Of course. I actually – I joke about threesomes sober just because I think it's funny. Like you see a hot waitress and you'd be like, yo, you want to take her home with us? I'm not being serious or sexy about it. I'm just like, oh, boy, she'd be fun and bad. Right, right, right, right. That's very different.

You float a little balloon, see what the reaction is. Maybe get something unexpected. It's also just, I think it's just funny because I know I couldn't do it. So, like, it's really like, want to see me fail? But when you're drunk, if you're around sober people, you have to act sober. That's the rule. Whether it's sex, whether it's work, whether it's friends, whatever. If you're drunk and everyone else around you is sober, pretend you're sober too.

Honestly, think about all the things. You can't be the same person sexually as we just saw. You can't go pick in a fight or something like that. You're drunk and ready to fight and everyone's sober. No, you can't be the one like jump through the beer pong table when everybody's just sober drinking wine. All of the activities you do when you hit blackout drunk are only acceptable. When everyone else is blackout drunk.

Right. It's like acting like a kid amongst kids. Right. When you're an adult. One in a row, man. Yeah. If you're at your kid's preschool or whatever and you guys are in the playpen. Yeah, you act.

Yeah, but what? Right. But not like, what the fuck's up, bro? If you're standing with a bunch of adults, don't jump in the playpen and you're like, yeah, but what? You're not like, what the fuck's up, bro? If you're standing with a bunch of adults, don't jump in that playpen because there's something wrong with that person. Absolutely. As always, just do everything that the general public is doing. Be a follower. Do not be a

leader. Do what all your friends are doing. Jump off that bridge. If they're sober, act sober. If they're drunk, act drunk. That's it. I honestly, to be honest, I don't ever get drunk. The only time I will be the only person drunk is if I'm drinking by myself. Okay. I got confused for a second.

If I'm hanging out with you or something like that and you're like, I'm going to take it easy tonight, I'm not just going to sit there ripping. No. You kind of conform to your surroundings just going to like sit there ripping. No. You know what I mean? You kind of like conform to your society, you know, to your surroundings. I won't sit there ripping, but I'll have like, if you're not drinking, I guess I'll have two or three drinks. Yeah. No, definitely. I'm not saying I'm not going to drink, but I'm just saying I would stay on the same level

as like the people I'm with, you know? That's why it's always dangerous. Like I, did I tell a story on the podcast when I met my buddy's girlfriend? You know, I say that, but it's not true. Then you just get drunk? There are some times where I'm just, I'll slip. My problem is always like if I've been drinking, we're all in an agreed upon drunk situation, and then someone new comes and they're sober.

And it's like, well, listen, I didn't sign up for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, you know what I mean? Like, I totally embarrass myself in front of my buddy's girlfriend because she came in halfway through a session. And I was like, well, I am on 11. Yeah, you have to tell people that. You have to say, like, look, I'm coming hot.

Right. No, no. If someone's coming here, you're coming into, this is in the green zone. No. We are, this is, there is a firefight happening right here. You got to be prepared. Right. Right.

A hundred percent. Stop off, get yourself some ammo. Yeah. Maybe get yourself in the zone. Yeah, you get yourself right. Yeah. Right. Because we are all, now you being the sober one is the problem, not us being the drunk ones. Right. Maybe get yourself in the zone. Yeah, you get yourself right. Yeah. Right? Because we are all,

now you being the sober one is the problem, not us being the drunk ones. Right. Get on my level or just don't judge me accordingly. Yeah. Last voicemail?

Last voicemail today is brought to you by Robinhood. It's the investment app that lets you buy, sell, and sell stocks, ETFs, options, cryptos. Here's the kicker, all commission free. Nobody's taking a rip on your money.

Other brokerages charge up to $10 per trade. Robinhood doesn't charge any commission fees, so you can trade stocks and keep all of your profits. There's no account minimum, so you don't have to be a big kahuna. You can throw in a little bit of cash, make some small size moves, and you can still make money. So it's all relative. If you're a baller, you've got to spend baller money. If you're not as rich and you're making small bets, proportionally speaking, it's all the same game. It's simple and intuitive on Robinhood. It makes investing easy for newcomers and experts. Everybody will like the interface.

They'll like the easy-to-use and understand charts and market data. And you can place a trade in just four quick taps on your smartphone. It's as easy and intuitive as it gets. You can learn how to invest in the market, build your portfolio, discover new stocks, track your favorite companies. You'll never miss the right moment to invest.

Go to barstool.robinhood.com and they'll give you a free stock. Apple, Ford, Sprint, all the like to help build your portfolio at barstool.robinhood.com. Yeah, it was good. KFC, Fights, BC. I've got a quick story for y'all with a little question following up.

So, this happened about a month ago or so. I'm home for holiday break. And I'm just chilling alone one night. Nothing's really going on. And my mom goes, hey, you want to go see a movie? I'm like, whatever. Sure, why not? Free movie.

Something I want to go see. So I got a shore I'll go. That sex scene in it or something. So we hit the movie. Walk in. Get our tickets, whatever. And I was about to go in. I see a kid I know.

I used to play baseball with a while back. First off, fucking sucks. Hates seeing people I know in public. Besides that. This guy's gassed. So I go up, say hi, whatever. Go on our ways. Later that night, I get a text from him.

He's like, yo, seen you at the movie theater with that fucking MILF. He's like, who's that? And are you fucking? So, how the fuck do I answer that? I think you know how you say no, dude. It's my mom.

What the fuck? Again, what are we doing here? That was a very funny voicemail, very funny situation. I did not expect that to be the question. What do you write back? You write back, no, dude. That's not a MILF that I'm fucking. It's just my mom.

I went to the movies with my mom. Yeah, I don't know. Got to clear that up real quick. What is the other answer? You let someone. You let her think that you're fucking. So the next time that you're out in public, people are going to be like, yo, I heard Joey's fucking that girl. And someone's going to be like,

that's Joe's mom. Right. Oh, yeah? Because I heard he was fucking her at the movies and stuff. Now all of a sudden you're a motherfucker. I've played that game before where you... What? Let me finish. I've played that game before where you kind of just let people think whatever about people not

my mom. And, you know, who's that girl you were with last night? I don't worry about it. Yeah, right, right. All it was is, like, it was the waitress. Yeah, it was like a work dinner. It was a girl I never met. But I'm like, don't worry about it, man.

It's none of your business. But you can't play that game with your mom. With your mom? What are we talking about? Because you're going to be repeatedly seen with that woman. And eventually someone's going to ask. Like, damn, you took that girl to Christmas? Like, no, she with your mom. With your mom? What are we talking about? Because you're going to be repeatedly seen with that woman. And eventually, someone's going to ask. Like, damn,

you took that girl to Christmas? Like, no, she's my mom. Imagine someone coming up and being like, I've heard so much about you. And your mom's like, yeah, no, I know. I'm his mom.

I gave birth to him. Right? Yeah. And then that just spirals out of control. And now your mom's like, why are you letting people think we're having sex?

I mean, could you imagine that? Could you control. And now your mom's like, why are you letting people think we're having sex? I mean, could you imagine that? Could you imagine your mom confronting you and being like, there's a rumor going around that you're fucking me. Holy Christ on the cross. Jesus almighty. That is like, what do I say to him? What do I say? If anything at all, I think you said like, what are you going to ghost this guy? Just let him. You say, no, what do I say, if anything at all? I think he said, like, what, are you going to ghost this guy?

Just let him. You say, no, it's my mom. Imagine your dad getting wind of that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You fucking my girl? This is jacked up. Funny situation. Creepy guy.

Really weird. Like the friend to be like, yo, who's that old lady you're fucking? Like, if I saw you with an old lady, first of all, this guy, I mean, this mom's got to be hot, right? I would imagine. I'm assuming. I just, like, if I saw you with a hot older woman, even if she was hot, I mean, I guess it depends on the scenario.

Doesn't the guy have to know, like, if your mom's hot, you know that. Yes, but I don't think that means that, I don't know, what I was going to say is if I saw John with an older lady, I would be like, is that your mom? Is that your aunt? Like, I don't know i might what i was gonna say is if i saw john with an older lady i would i would be like is that your mom is that your aunt like i don't know who is that this mom is very hot she's got to be like super hot then but i i think she's hot enough that she has to dress the part i think more than more than a slut i think you gotta dress if your mom is a hot whore then i think then i think I think you could run into this problem. Otherwise, I think it's very weird to just automatically assume. If she's a fat whore, then maybe it's fair game that there'd be these thoughts.

Otherwise, I think it's strange to automatically assume a guy with an older girl, he's fucking her. Yeah, absolutely. There's no person I would see with their mom and immediately think that's someone they're having sex with i would just be like this isn't a fucking movie this isn't a porno maybe these guys are dirt dogs you know maybe they've just like but even still i mean this guy doesn't he sounds like surprised by it although he didn't know i don't know there's there's no that only happens in movies and porn you don't go to the also you know what you don't go to the fucking movies Also you know what

You don't go to the movies with He doesn't have a hot mom Cause everybody knows the hot mom The friends would always know That's your mom That's the hot girl Yeah especially if it's this guy You haven't seen since high school

Yeah That dude remembers what your mom looks like Absolutely Is it just cause it's like a date situation Like you go to the movies Like one on one with your mom a lot I go to the movies with my mom I mean I

Don't go often But I have Yeah Done that before It's not like a regular thing But I've certainly gone I mean I'm a mama's boy though You'll catch one with your mom I go to the movies with my mom I mean I don't go often but I have done that before it's not a regular thing but I've certainly gone I mean I'm a mama's boy though you'll catch me with my mom anywhere same and I'll be like went to see Manchester by the sea with my mom Jesus that's some heavy shit John's the only guy in the world who thinks

that Manchester by the sea was an uplifting movie spoiler alert the whole fucking family dies in a fire in a fucking fire that's not John was like I don't fucking see why people think it's sad. Oh, well, there were babies burning alive, John. That's not what I said. I said the movie as a whole. That's a scene in the movie.

It's a sad scene, no doubt. It is the most depressing movie ever. It doesn't even end with him really fully. It ends Soprano style. They're on a boat together. I hope that everybody in that movie died because their lives were so miserable. It deserved to be in a better place. Anyway, let's talk to Jesse McCartney.

I love this fucking guy. He's he's he's a see some OG shit. He's got a couple like generational type bangers that everybody loves. Cool dude. Like Barstool has been coming through. You'll probably see more of him. I want to make a song with this dude so bad. Like a funny song.

Yeah. Yeah. This interview is brought to you by Kite. You smoke that Juul. You puff on that vape, bro. You a vape god? Then Kite is for you. It is the first and only portable vape charger and Juul pod case that's compatible with all the Juul devices.

Whether you are working on an all-day tailgate, all-night party, if you're pulling an all-nighter for any reason and you want to make sure your vape is charged and full, Kite gives you up to three full charges and holds three additional pods. Use the promo code BARSTOOLFAN on kitecharger.com and enjoy 30% off today. It's not associated with or sponsored by Juul, but everything fits the Juul devices. So it fits your favorite flavors, and it's sleek, it's small, it's compatible, it's easy to use.

So keep charged up, keep your pods at the ready. When you go to kitecharger.com, use the promo code BARSTOOLFAN for 30% off. Jesse McCartney, talk to him. All right, we got Jesse McCartney live in studio for KFC Radio, who's fresh off of a wine walk. It's literally negative like 10 degrees today. Yeah, shout out to you for doing that. Well, thank God for the wine to warm us up. Yeah, that is true.

I forgot my gloves and my socks, by the way. Yeah, I saw that. You did not prepare, bro. That's how you know you've gone like Hollywood. Oh, I don't even look at the weather anymore. I don't look at the weather either, but it's like, mine is based on laziness. You're just an idiot. Yeah.

I always check the weather by just looking out the window. So every day I'm like, that's probably about 50 outside. Like I'm wearing distressed pants today. Yeah, both of you two are fucking idiots. He got frostbite on his knees. My ankles are falling off. It's a negative 20 with the fucking windshield. I can't tell you the last time I looked at the weather.

It's just not something. The weather is not part of my life. No. It's not something I factor into the weather. It's just not something. The weather is not part of my life. No. It's not something I factor into daily activities. It's just. This is what you get no matter what. Exactly. The summer, I don't wear shorts in the summer.

I wear pants. I don't dress for the elements. The elements. Dress for me. Dress for me. I was going to say that. I was like, well, that's just not true at all. So I'll just stop talking.

Speaking of dress, we got you in your new video, Wasted. You were dressed fucking ridiculously. You like that? Yeah. I mean, it's got, what, like an 80s vibe, I guess it is? Yeah, it's got just the, I don't know, bad vibe is what it is. It's like late 70s, early 80s kind of thing. And it's my friend Melissa Lynn actually did all the styling for the video.

And the whole theme was just to do like bad. It almost has like a Mark Wahlberg, Boogie Nights kind of vibe. You know, like bad porn star. Don't be chirping Wahlberg here. I don't think that's a chirp. I think it's a comp. No, that's a comp. Wahlberg's going to stop 9-11.

We're not going to slander him on this radio show. That's one of my favorite movies of all time. It's definitely a tip of the hat. That video to me was the most fun I've ever had on any set. I got to play five different characters, one of which was, I don't know if you saw the end of the video, because I know you were watching it when I walked in. You were doing your last-minute homework. Yeah, a little bit.

Squeezing it in. But at the very end, I play a drag. You know, I'm dressed in full drag, playing like a 65-year-old drunk lady. Look at you. So you've got to go check it out. I feel like the music video is a little bit of a lost art. I feel like when we were growing up, it was like making the video or whatever it was called on MTV. Yeah.

Behind the scenes. TRL. I mean, TRL, you ran home from school. Yeah. When a new video dropped, it was a big deal. Now what? You want to put it on your YouTube or whatever, but it doesn't have the same vibe. It doesn't have the same impact it once had.

I know. That's why I was trying to do something that maybe was gonna you know turn heads a little bit i think the thing is now is like people make videos that have the potential to go viral because that's all that anybody cares about right is this shit gonna go viral well that's i mean i don't know if that's why you did it but you did it that's that was with what you know with the with that in with that in mind and i think now like yeah i mean nobody like you said used to be you would do behind the scenes and everyone would get so pumped for the video. There'd be, like, a video launch. Yeah.

Didn't Michael Jackson once spend, like, $5 million on one fucking music video or something? It was a different time. Thriller was the first one to, like, set off music videos, right? The one scream, I think, was with him and Janet was, like, millions of dollars just for one video. But my ex-girlfriend in college was in your music video. Okay. Really? She was a video girl when you, I think you were like a boy band when you were younger

or something like that. Yeah. Uh, and she was like, there was a scene. Oh, I heard about this. Yeah. I mentioned to you last time. Where there's like girls running down a hill. Yeah.

And she was like, ah, they're all chasing after her. That's so funny. Do you get jealous? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like, man, fuck this guy. Fuck this. And then I heard like, leave it.. It's like, man, fuck this guy. Fuck this.

And then I heard, like, leave it, and I was like, all right. Then it changed to, like, yo, my girl was in New York. Oh, yeah. What a small world. Weird, man, weird. So you're a New York guy, obviously, then. You said you were a Giants fan? Yeah, I grew up in New York.

I grew up a Giants fan, a Yankees fan. I grew up loving New York sports in general. And then I a yankees fan i grew up loving new york sports in general and then i moved to i think it was about 16 17 years old i moved to los angeles to start you know doing the whole thing and uh um i remained a new york fan but uh you know most my half of my all of my adult adult life has now been in la yeah you can't you just can't maintain it the same way it's's not like... Yeah. Well, in this industry, too, it's just a little bit more convenient to be in Los Angeles for what I'm doing. But I don't know.

I still make it back to New York. I actually caught a game. I watched them beat up on the Bears a few Sundays ago. I forgot about that. Yeah, which was nice. So, yeah, I still try to make it out when I can and follow football. Giants fans, it must be so nice to be a Giants fan because there's nothing – I can't chirp a Giants fan. No.

A Patriots fan can chirp anybody else in sports. And then almost any other fans can chirp the Giants in some way or shape or form. Sure. They have had so many down years on top of the Super Bowl years. But you specifically can't really say anything. No, it's like, yeah. It's very weird. But we also have – there's a kindred connection with Giants

because the Giants used to be New England's team. Right. So, like, I, in my whole life, I would come down to one Giants game a year with my dad because we still had season tickets for my grandfather. Right. Because, like, he got them when Patriots didn't exist. Yeah. And so, like, I was always like, I never, I hate the Giants.

I hate the Jets. Well, I mean, like, I don't even hate the Jets. Why would you hate the Jets? It's not that I fucking hate it. It's just like, it's rude and mean to hate the Jets. I don't even hate the Jets. Why would you hate the Jets? That's what I fucking hate. It's rude and mean to hate the Jets. They're there. They're like, yeah. I hated them in the Rex years, but now it's just like, yeah, it's a little obstacle.

You're a speed bump. And it's like, I don't hate them, but it's kind of a nuisance sometimes. I can't say anything. He's been going 90 miles an hour for the last 40 years. You should feel bad for me. Jesse, I used to look so young. Were you sweating your ass off during that game last night? Yeah, I'm exhausted from it today.

My voice is cracking. People think it's easy. I'm still tired from the Red Sox winning the World Series. Now I've got to do the Super Bowl? Come on. So rough. I can't take it. Pity me.

Pity me. I thought it was Barstool Sports that made me age. Like, I'm only 30 years old. I look like I'm 60. And I thought it was Barstool that made me age 30 years in the last 10. And I've realized it's playoffs. It's winning. It's playoffs.

It's the playoffs. It's just every single year, every single season, I have to go on a long playoff run. I'm not going to go to the gym during that, which I totally do the other times. I'm not going to eat healthy during that. I'm just going to order takeout food. I'm just going to drink alcohol.

This is the product. This is what the Patriots do. It's hard. No one gets it. It's just. See, no one gets it. That's like this guy being like, it's just fucking tough put now. Like, banger songs, you know? It's tough. It's tough.

It's hard work. When you go on stage and everybody wants to hear you sing the hits, it's just like, relax, okay? Yeah. That's a grind, man. No, I mean, I have to say, though, Kansas City made it look hard for the Patriots this time. At least in the second half.

Even in the fourth quarter, I'd even get more specific with it. But, I mean, the first half, you guys were what? Was it 14-0, right? Yeah, 14-7. They were dominating that first half, though. I forget what it was. But, yeah, Patrick Mahomes had the ball for eight minutes. Yeah, that was the problem.

Nothing the Chiefs wanted to do, the Chiefs could do. Because they were playing Bill Belichick. Are you more excited to be facing the Rams? Oh, yeah. Would you rather have been? I was scared of the Saints. I mean, not terrified, because it's hard to be scared of anybody with Belichick and Brady. But I was, that I thought was good.

I was like, fuck, we could lose that game. I don't foresee a scenario. You've seen a lot of bandwagon fans in L.A.? Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's why it's tough to even, I mean, I'm going to root my face off for them, but knowing that there's this L.A. fan base that's just like, eh, we're in the Super Bowl now.

Did you see that video? Yeah. There's a video going around of people in a bar. It's amazing how many L.A. fans are just like, you know, as soon as LeBron shows up to the Lakers, everyone's got the purple and gold. And like, as soon as we have two teams, everyone's like, you know, it's funny. And Chargers too.

Like, you know. Absolutely. I mean, I don't blame you, but it's like, let's not act like, you know, you guys are long-suffering fans or anything along those lines. I mean, that video, it's going viral. I don't know if you've seen it. It's of a bar in LA. And I don't even know if they have the game sound on.

Yeah, the game sound is on. The game goes fine on there. But no one's celebrating. It's like an overtime win in the NFC Championship on a field goal. And there are a couple of claps. Yeah. It was like, woo! Ah, cool.

Let's do a late brunch. Yeah. It was crazy. If you're faking it, I get that. Yeah, but at least fake it. At least fake it. People just want a great booth at the bar. That's all they care about.

Where's our booth going to be? I could also understand, though, because from the angle it was shot, you could see the beach. And it's beautiful out there. I don't blame anybody. No matter how this game went, that was still going to be there. So I'm good. When you're on the East Coast it's just it's beautiful i don't blame anybody no matter how this game went that was still gonna be there so i'm good when you're on the east coast you're bitter you're cold literally and figuratively you don't have anything fun to root for other than your team so when it goes south it's terrible you live in the la life everything's good i

wouldn't want i don't like being like this i don't want to be this like bitter east coast asshole i'd gladly be a la sellout if. I just got to have hair and make hit records. I can't do those things, so I sit here in New York and watch the fucking Jets. Does that get exhausting? I've only been to L.A. a couple times. You know, we've gone out there for a few things. And even, like, it's cool to see everyone so pretty and stuff like that. It's nice.

Don't get me wrong. It's an aesthetically pleasing place. It's a little bit intimidating. Don't sell yourself short, Firebird. You look great, bud. You look great. I don't. I know I don't.

Don't come on my show and lie to me, Jesse. We can tighten up a little bit. We can tighten up. I was in an Uber yesterday, and I took my seatbelt off because it was so gross, the way it was just hugging me. I was like, this is disgusting. I can't look down at this. I'd rather die. I'll risk it.

It was like just coming through my kids. Stomach was out. This can't be safe. I was taking this off. I was like, I asked the Uber guy too. I'm like, can you just hit the next pole you got? Yeah, I mean, when we were out there, it was like, it was just like, you're better looking than me.

You're better looking than me. I got no shot with anybody here. No one's looking my way. But aside from the aesthetic of it, I get frustrated just everyone's so positive. I need the anger here that you've just displayed. It's not always real positivity, though. I got plenty of it for you, babe. It's not always real positivity.

There's like that sort of like fake, you know, sort of like, everything's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah yeah like oh positive energy bro let's meditate like oh you're addicted to xanax you have a serious alcohol issue and you're popping pills um no it's uh you know no i listen i don't want to bag la too bad i do love it and i live there and it's if you can figure out how to navigate the city and like find good people and there are good people there a lot of them are from new york um but there are good people there like it is a great place to live but look it's a it's a town and a and a place

that's based on one industry for the most part right everyone's trying to everyone's trying to make it in in the entertainment field and everyone's trying to get into a room with somebody who and it's competitive it's it's the most competitive uh in in the world and and so you know everyone's just trying to slip their resume slip you their picture resume and oh 100 it's every it's every like you know prom queen from iowa from texas from you know from around the country and King prom King moving to one little town. That's what's crazy.

And that's what you're seeing. You are, you went from a small pond, like, yeah, you were hot shit in Iowa. Like now we all look like this. Are you, do you guys, uh, you like meaning singers, uh, actors, more traditional fucking famous people. Are you mad at like the, like the influencer world coming around now? Like Instagram famous and social media famous it's like they don't technically have maybe the same talent level that you know some of you guys do um i don't really get mad about that kind of stuff

to be honest that's la man i fuck these people yeah yeah yeah i mean i i mean it's whatever like you gotta you know go get you know go get that check i get it like it's it's all about you know what what you can do to carve out a niche for yourself. And in this day and age, yes, a lot, some people are way more shameless than others. Yep. And, you know, I don't give a shit. I don't watch it. I don't need to watch it.

Right. But, you know, I get it. I mean, in this generation, too, we're in such a, you know, this generation is all about sharing and content. And, I mean. You can't make it that way. That's just like we're in that new world. For me, though, I think at the end of the day, if you're turning out good product, whether it's music,

whether it is social media-based, I don't know, but if you're turning out something that is really great, it usually does sort of rise to the top, whether it's a movie, to the top, you know, whether it's a movie, an independent film that you made or a great song, like people will find it because people, I think in their heart of hearts still do care about great art, you know, great stuff. I just got it.

We're going to, we're going to clap. You're going to put us on a song. Sure. For sure. So we'll bring, we'll bring like the social media crowd. I like how this started with Jesse. Like, yeah, everyone's always trying to get in. Anyway, we're going to get a song with you.

Yep, yep. We're just like auto-tune us up a little bit. Okay. Like, I could rap a little bit. You could maybe sing a little bit. Cool. And then we'll bring the social media crowd. And then we'll have you run down a field and we'll have your girlfriend chase you.

Yeah, there we go. There you go. Okay, I'm going to write this down. I'm telling you just something to think about. I know that you got like your new sound, but like maybe we're the part of the new sound. Totally. I'm done with podcasts. I'm over this shit.

Yeah, let's get the music going. I guess I'll become a musician. That works for me. I don't have a talent. I just want to be on a song. I'm not talented either. You're not talented, period. I just want to be on a song.

I mean, you got a couple songs that people are going to listen to until the end of time. We hope so. Straight up. I'm counting on it. What's your favorite song of your hits? Let me say, yeah. Some people resent their hits or the ones they want to play for the encore.

One of my favorites is a song that I did with T-Pain called Body Language, which was a real fun one. What an easy fucking answer. The song with T-pain yeah that would be my favorite too that was a good one how about t-pain going off on twitter yesterday what was he saying i missed this what'd he do he's mad he don't use uh music in porn anymore oh yeah i saw that he said he likes to get the rhythm going in porn he's going a whole new direction. I mean, body language fits. Let's show body language. Body language should be behind a porn.

This would be a great porn soundtrack. Asa Akira used to work on this podcast with us. She used to be a third co-host. So we got little... We got it in. We got fingers in the porn industry. You know what I mean. You know what I mean.

We got connections in the porn industry. We'll talk to Asa about body language next show. If you auto-tune us up and we were to be on body language, then we would be a part of this immortal hit. We'd crush it. Sorry, T-Pain. Body language 2.0. KC Radio.

We'll plug you guys in. Yeah, I mean, body language is one that's going to play forever. That was my breakup song. Really? Yeah. It was amazing. I listen to songs I don't always focus on the lyrics. So leaving. He says always, he means ever.

Clearly. It was, I like just, I like broke up with my girlfriend when I was like 20 and I like listened to that all the time and it was just like, leaving was what I focused on. It didn't really focus on the rest of it. The bottom image part, yeah. But it was like, I was like, oh, once I finally got it, I was like, wait, that's what her new boyfriend's singing about me. It's both of our songs for the same girl. Beautiful Soul, it just speaks to me.

That song, it's the only song that really I will never not be able to play. I can always change my set list here and there, but Beautiful Soul, because it was my debut, the first song anyone ever heard, it's the song that put me in the living rooms of every family in America, every 12-year-old girl who was in 8th grade, 7th, 8th grade. That was the song that they heard. So tonight we have a show at PlayStation Theater,

and I've always toyed around with moving that song in or out or later in the set or earlier in the set. People would just riot. Yeah, you just can't do it. You just can't do it. See, what's interesting about you and like anybody, any of the guys who kind of came up in that era early on, young, is now that 12-year-old girl who's in eighth grade is like a 35-year-old woman or whatever. Yeah. But in her mind when she goes to that concert, she wants to see, you know what I mean?

It's like if she doesn't hear that song, she's going to be, she'll tear your face off, you know? To watch the crowd go from what they were to, you know, 30 years old or whatever. The energy is so crazy when you see, when they hear that, da-da-da-dun-dun, like they go nuts. All the iPhones come out. Yep.

You like that though, right? I mean, of course. How can you not like it? Well, that's what what i'm saying but i always ask anybody who has a hit song hit tv show hit character whatever and you kind of fall into that sometimes people are like no i don't want to play it but no when you play you know a chord like that and everyone goes wild that's awesome whether it's now then whenever that song really is the reason i i was able to do anything else in my career had any other hit songs because that sort of put me on the map. So to sort of like put your nose in the air to a song like that would be insane.

Like you have to play, you know. Did you go through any phase where you kind of resented it? Yeah, I think maybe when I was like in my early 20s and I was trying to like, you know, I was trying to edge up a little bit or I just didn't want to like sing the song. I'd been singing it for six, you know, five, six years at that point. And I was just like, yeah, I mean, I wanted to do other things and try other things. And maybe for a while I didn't play it all the time. You know, when Levin came out, it was all about Levin and body language. And I took more of like a rhythmic urban turn and I was doing more like urban music at the time and working with other urban artists. And Beautiful Soul was not like, but at this and I was doing more, like, urban music at the time and working with other urban artists, and Beautiful Soul was not, like.

But at this point, everything's come full circle, and there's, like, a nostalgia quality to that song now that, and those 35-year-olds are the ones that are, like, buying shit now. They got fucking money to burn. And buying tickets, so you got to play that song for them no matter what. But it's cool because the Levin fans and the Body Language fans and the girls that came up in that era are in college. And I've been doing last year, how many colleges did we do last year? About 40 to 50.

40 to 50 universities around the U.S. And it's insane. Like the college market and business is crazy right now. We have another 15 schools coming up this spring. And they sort of came up in that era. So the demographic is pretty wide. You have girls that are 18, 19, 20 years old all the way up to their early 30s. So it's pretty wild.

You've done it right then, man. Yeah, buddy. Pretty much everybody's listening to my shit. So the new video is wasted. Yeah. That's out now. Catch it on YouTube. Yeah, catch it wherever you find music, I guess.

Yeah. And what else you got next? The tour. So I'm just on tour right now. The Resolution Tour kicked off in Dallas a couple weeks ago, and we finished. We have our show tonight here in New York at the PlayStation Theater, and then we're moving on to Boston.

There you go. There you go. Boston's a sold-out show. Going to be a party time. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure everyone will be still hungover from the Super Bowl. Where are you from there? I mean, from the AFC Champions.

I'm playing at House of Blues in Boston, which is one of my favorite House of Blues in the country. It's so awesome. I played it once. Yeah, we know a little. I played it a couple times. We had a blackout tour way back in the day, and I would have to dress up. We'd just do day. Yeah. And I would have to dress up.

We just like EDM stuff. Yeah. And I would have to dress up in mascot costumes and go stage dive. A little bit different. You a stage diver? No, not a stage diver. Let me tell you what. Don't become one.

Yeah. My show is still not great. I have a couple buddies who are huge like metal heads. Really? They're like punk heads and they go stage diving and they come back with broken noses. Yeah. Not for me. When we would do it, it would be, you know, it was like a was like a college thing so it would be you know a college edm fest so like it

would be a lot of drunk 18 year olds yeah fine and i'm six feet tall 220 pounds they can't catch me no so i would jump and i've always described as like a plane crashing through a forest like it would just be this 747 taking out these trees of women. And every time our producer would be like. Just plowing them over. You got to go jump again. I'm like, dude, I can't do it again. I can't do it again. He plows through them.

That's if they stayed there. A lot of times they would just. Yeah, sometimes they just move flat on the ground. That's amazing. I don't recommend stage diving. It's not a good time. Now, stay on stage, sing, or pretty. That's it.

That's the method. So I finished this tour in like a mid February and then I'm gonna get back in the studio and try to finish this album. And, uh, and you know, I'll, I'll be torn probably a lot of 2019 as well.

So awesome music year for me. Awesome. Check it out. Love the video too. Cool. Thanks guys. Awesome.