KFC Radio - Billy Football Explains How He Got Suspended from PMT Ft. Annie Lederman

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

- BIlly Football comes on to explain why he was suspended from PMT and what he's been focusing on in the meantime. - Billy, Jackie, and Feits explain their FinDom/foot picture experiences further - Billy and Fiets go full meathead as they talk about steroids other drugs that make you bigger - AITA - Pwingies for the room - fathers day gift card - hooking up with a girl who died Video Voicemails - watching old kids' movies stoned - adult controls - celebrity encounters - Annie Lederman Interview on signing her fans' deformities/balls, freezing her eggs, being friends with Olivia Munn, fetishes and much more. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Jackie and Billy FinDom/foot pics 15:30 - Billy explains why he's suspended 28:14 - Billy and Feits go full meathead 48:00 - AITA 1:09:49 - Video Voicemails 1:30:13 - Annie Lederman Interview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ FFUPS: Go to https://barstool.link/ffupsKFC and use code KFC15 for 15% off Shady Rays: 50% OFF 2+ pairs of Adult Non-Prescription Sunglasses at https://barstool.link/ShadyraysKFC Catch the rest of the podcast here: https://linktr.ee/kfcrYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. But what happened with you? Yeah, mine's way worse. I have no excuse. It wasn't even a work event. I just did show up on time. Welcome to another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Kevin is still gone, so it is still me and everybody. Billy's going to come in the second. But first, Get Tickets Providence is released. Tickets for Providence on July 21st?

July 21st. July 21st. Get your tickets to that. We have, I think, like Denver, Phoenix, and L.A. coming soon. We're going to announce those. D.C. September 29th. D.C. September 29th. That is still active

and that's it pop on tickets are available we have two shows coming up I believe it's September 29th Atlantic City we got a show and August 6th we're going to be in New York at Gramercy Theater so come check us out there

and then October 1st Ocean's Calling uh in Maryland which is gonna be get that get Ocean's Calling and get KFC radio September 29th because we're doing both all right welcome to another edition of KFC radio we were gonna do like a segment with Billy football today and um and just talk about getting drunk at work because people may not know that I have quite a story. I think that would be for the 1.6 million. That would be a new story for old or an old story for new people.

But we're going to get to that in a little bit because we had someone come in and tell Jackie congratulations on her new business ventures. Billy, it seems like, hadn't heard about them, so I quickly just said, Jackie's a fin dom now, and Billy went, oh, I got stories. So it's been something that's actually been mentioned in our mentions a lot, is that Jackie and Billy need to get in a room together.

This wasn't the reason we're doing it, but it is now happening, and we have two of the great minds. Jackie is, I guess we'll just play you the clip that jackie is a fin dom now and uh and then we can go and then i'm gonna have some follow-up questions for you okay and then and then we can hear billy's stories um well billy you just go no i mean so here's here's jackie here's so someone reached out to her she was saying she needs money someone reached out to her said you can be my fin dom oh so then i was like all right what's up because then he like started sending more money how much money i've made up to a thousand this is highway robbery. Jesus Christ.

You fucking dirty dog. I had to kind of work for it a little bit. I will say that. We needed to work for it. Like, I have had to not, like, I've just had to, like, text him as if I am a fin dog. Kind of. Well, take your phone out.

No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I've got the receipts. Don't worry. I've got the receipts. Oh, fuck. take your phone out. No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I've got the receipts. Don't worry. I've got the receipts. Oh, fuck. I've got it. You added me about how much I jerk off. I'm adding you right now.

From Jackie. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Let me just. Yep. From Jackie. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're so perfect.

He answers, it really makes me so hard when you talk like that. From Jackie. I bet you come so fast when I say that to you. Haha, how are you this perfect? Can I cum goddess or should I wait for your pic? Don't fucking cum right now. Oh my god. So that's what Jackie does as her side hustle.

No. Aside from Barstool Sports producer. I just want a quick follow-up. We don't have to keep harping on this. I know it makes you uncomfortable. I just want to know, have you heard anything from him? No. Listen, he was not very happy.

Yeah, did you tell him to shut the fuck up? No, I kind of was like, do you... I can't. I know, I know. I don't want to mess up your side gig. But it makes for pretty good content for your main gig. Well, he was like, I hope that we can move past this. So I was like

Oh my god Every single time I tell him I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say anything else I do But I was like I was like So you'll

Still send money And like See but no See this is the problem right now What you're doing Is you're being the simp You gotta be the fucking You'll be like

Yeah bitch You send me money When I fucking tell you To send me money I know but I feel bad No so i first heard about this kind of thing in the first like season of euphoria like there was a character on there who was in i was like is this real so like of course i have access to the internet i'm like i like not look up like that type of content but like look up like what it is. Because I'm just curious about things.

Yeah, everyone's curious about stuff, though. So, I mean, turns out, it doesn't even have to get sexual anyway. You just literally, yeah. So you just tell this guy to give you money and just treat him like shit. I was actually the one that made it kind of sexual. Yeah, I know.

Because what I was first going to say, you're like, yo, gross, don't talk talk about my dick just talking about my bank account you see like sometimes like the really extreme guys they like literally get on their hands and knees and crawl to a woman's door and then just like put their head down and hand out money you're saying you have prefaced this by saying that that you have dabbled in that and now you're like, oh, I've heard this. No, no, I didn't. So my experience, I actually was the first probably in the whole office

to actually get involved in that type of work during the pandemic. Not Fyndom work, but just exchange on the getting money on the internet from strangers for weird types of things so what are you doing so you know in the pandemic when only fans was blowing up yeah and oh yeah okay yeah so i was on a i was on a live stream and uh it was a doug's live stream and for some reason i was wearing uh i was wearing this is going to be like a classic one but it actually went this far like i know this is a trope like i was wearing flip-fl going to be like a classic one, but it actually went this far. Like, I know this is a trope.

Like, I was wearing flip-flops and my foot was sticking out behind the chair. And I literally, on this live stream after I got off, I had three DMs on Twitter from, like, random burners. So, I was like, this is just, like, someone messing with me. Like, someone, like, actually proposing that they. So, I was like, okay, I'm going to, like, you know, I'm going to try to make a bit out of this. So I made Billy Feetball. Yeah. So I made Billy Feetball.

I put it like I just wanted to like bring it up is like a joke, maybe to blog about tweet about like not actually take it seriously. I put like my subscription rate is 100 bucks a month because i thought no one would take it and then i wake up the next morning after like tweeting about it talking about it and i literally had like 10 or 12 people subscribe so that's 1200 bucks right there and i was just like what the fuck so like i like was like playing into it i I was like, size 14. I got my width of my shoe size. You know on the shoe things you can calculate, there's the side thing that you never really use because usually shoes stretch. So I put all that info, put a picture of it, one next to a 24-ounce Red Bull can is like a joke. Just like, it's like, it's like, because I thought it was funny

but then I kept getting DMs from people who were like, are you going to still create content? And I basically, this was like,

I posted about three photos then I pulled all the money out, shut it down. I was like, okay, they got,

you know, five photos, 20 bucks a pop. Like, I'm out of this. What were the photos? Just like straight on? They were just feet pics

just different angles nothing else but like I mean the fin dom is even easier you don't have to take any pictures you just have to like verbally abuse someone who likes it now I've been a fin dom before and I did it

I did it as content as well and then they're gonna pay us more here i know what that was i this is this is probably a year ago maybe were you working on yet yeah probably like a year ago and i got dm being like we need my fin dom and i didn't know much about it i knew like i recognize i don't even know if i put together what the word meant and then i was like what's that mean it's like basically i pay you to be mean to me and like i just was like right away i was like how much you pay me you little bitch and and then he paid me and then like we exchanged a couple of things and then he made it sexual where he just sent me

a picture of his dick and was like make fun how little my dick is i was like all right that's not that's not this is this is a little much like i don't need money it's just dom dom this is something that i like didn't admit with the sugar daddy thing but so he like since it wasn't a real thing like it was a scam he was like oh so like what do you want to have a daddy or whatever and I was like I was like I'm like I just want to chat but like I'm willing to send pictures or whatever like I made it sexual and then he goes and he goes like no let's just focus on being friends I sent it to my friends and they were like you didn't even ask for pictures

dude what I don't think I have like no self respect I'm sorry you offered pictures and he said let's just be friends I was like oh my god I need a father, an actual father. I actually have a great dad. Whatever.

But I was like, do I have daddy issues? I don't know. I mean, that is, that's one of the saddest things maybe of all of us. It was like the worst rejection. All my friends were like, Jackie, that was embarrassing. Don't worry, I'll show you my dick. He's like, ah. Let's start slow.

Maybe we'll get there. A lot of people are getting scammed, though. This is like a new thing. Have you guys talked about this? No, it just happened to Jackie. No. I didn't fully get scammed, but he was trying to scam me, and he didn't fully This was her last business venture, which was going to be a sugar baby.

Actually, this is a warning. So, dudes, if those, like, sex bots, or, like, they look real, like, well-designed profiles, they DM you, they ask you, like, this is something I've heard about. Bro, you heard about the fin d'intons now you're hearing about the sex box No no but there's a story like They will try to get especially young Men to send a picture to them first In promise of other pictures and then they

Just extort them and say that we're gonna send This picture to all your family Now yeah That's been a scam that's not really a new one I know That one's been around for some time. But the, I don't even think that's, like, if you do that on the internet, that's something now. So, like, you're talking about, like, Twitter DMs?

Twitter DMs. I think this was on Snapchat. This one kid, like. That's why you close your fucking DMs, people. Yeah. Nothing good happens in your fucking DMs. Nothing good. I promise you that.

I've gotten $1,000. So, like, that was kind of good. Yeah, she's up. She good. I promise you that. I've gotten $1,000, so that was kind of good. Yeah, she's up. She's up. I'm up. She's up. She's up barely. Yeah, barely, barely. You're up.

I'm up. Are you up? No. I guess. $25. You're up $25. Yeah, I'm up like $50. I'm up like $50.

I also have to look at a little dick. You earned that so I don't know who's up sounds like you got the better end of that deal but alright

so I guess that's that's it I also want on record though at least like it fell into my lap Billy like

you went out looking for it no it fell into Billy's lap it was on a live stream no you went out looking for oh I guess I it fell into Billy's lap. It was on a live stream. No, you went out looking for it. Oh, I guess. I was getting DMs about, hey, I would like to buy pictures of your feet.

And I was like, he's like, 20 bucks pop. I was like, really? Rudy gets those a lot. Rudy says he's a communist when it comes to feet pics. If someone asks him, he just sends them. So if you want feet pics, just DM Rudy. He will send you his feet. I got ugly ass feet too.

Dude, I got feet like a pregnant woman. It's disgusting. They're just swollen and like a rhinoceros. They're horrible. But some people are into that. That's what I found out. I was posing as a joke Like these are ugly ass feet

Like Like Jerry the feet guy He's all about like The white tone Like the pretty feet And I thought that's what People were looking for From you too

Yeah I thought This was like a joke Like Like a switcheroo Like this guy's selling feet pics Oh my god Those are disgusting But

You know Beauty's in the eye of the beholder Well dude They're like the fucking people who are like, I want your stinky socks and stuff. We've had porn stars on here before. It's like everyone wants stuff gross rather than stuff pristine. What did I get?

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Go to ShadyRays.com slash KFC. 50% off two plus pairs of polarized sunglasses. Alright, Bill. We talked about this a little bit at the Pride Parade because you kept telling everyone, don't get drunk, it's a work event. I don't think anyone listened to you,

but I obviously am aware of your suspension. I'm aware of your situation. I am not fully aware of what happened, and we're going to see who was worse, me or you. Yeah, we're not making light of the situation, my situation. No, this is really... I'm getting advice right now. This is a warning tale to all...

Because it is unfair at Barstool. I will be clear about that. When you're much younger, like I was when I had my situation, it's pretty difficult to work here and not drink. You get brought to drinking events, handed drinks, and you're not quite responsible yet. So you're put in a bit of a lose-lose situation. Yes, people will say, oh, you're an adult, blah, blah, blah.

But when you're an adult and you're barely an adult and you're taken to parties and events that you and your wildest dreams did not think you'd ever be going to, and then you're handed drinks, sometimes you lose a little control. But what happened with you? Yeah, mine's way worse. I have no excuse.

It wasn't even a work event. I just did show up on time. I'm taking total ownership. Okay, let's hear it. Yeah, so, no, I just missed the time. I thought we were going to – I'm not going to make excuses. Like, look, I'm taking full accountability. I just had a – I was out all night, woke up the next morning.

So you weren't a regular thing. You weren't – I thought it was like a work thing the night before. No, I was then that night so tired from being out all night the night before that we were doing a zoom at after the celtics game and i like felt like was nodding off on the zoom oh okay i should just shut my camera off oh wait falling asleep on camera you can't do that yeah but i don't remember falling asleep on camera Jackie Oh yeah I've seen that clip Maybe it wasn't on camera

But it's in this room You've fallen asleep before You were on camera You just fell asleep And I remember you were editing the podcast later And you tweeted it You were like I was editing the podcast No

I have fallen asleep multiple times You were like, I was editing the podcast. No. Oh, no. Because we were like, Jackie. I have fallen asleep multiple times. Yeah. It's real. We were like, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. And you weren't replying, so we just moved on. And I think later you were like, I'm editing the podcast. And I can hear them talking about me, but I was asleep.

Yeah, that's right. Oh, I fall asleep a lot. And this is when you lived in California, so you were just hungover. No. I'd be able to see you on the Zoom. Like, you were clearly asleep. Yeah. I would, like, glance over.

I'm like, I see the brim of a hat just sticking up. It's fine. We don't need to. This isn't about Jackie. This isn't about Jackie. All right, Bill. So what's your story? I already give myself a worse story.

Totally deserve suspension, everything. Don't want to belittle that. Well, mine was that. Well, the funny thing is because mine was like, so I was, this is 2013. It was Bruins, Blackhawks, Stanley Cup Finals. And Dan and I had a bet about the outcome of the series, whatever. I had to shave my – Dan also had a bet with Dave. And we were going to the Greg Olsen kickball tournament that weekend in Chicago.

And the bet for me was I had to shave my hair to look like Patrick Kane. He did the mullet in the playoffs with the racing stripes and stuff. A bet I knew, I kind of just wanted the haircut. So I was like, either Bruins win the Stanley Cup or get that dope haircut. I'm fine either way. Dave's bet was that he had to dress in full Blackhawks gear and play in the kickball tournament. So we go out. I went out with the G-Chat squad.

G-Chat gang. G-Chat gang? G-Chat gang. ball tournament yeah so we go out i went out the g chat squad g check g check gang g check gang g check gang uh was me keith kevin and dan and we all went out early to kind of like if you could make the argument that was his first iteration of the barstool chicago office but we just went out like one day early to work from dan's office to go because we always just talked on g chat together we never got to hang out because we were all in different cities and we were like oh maybe it's a fun little thing like we'll just go out and we'll all We never got to hang out because we were all in different cities. And we were like, oh, maybe it's a fun little thing. We'll just go out and we'll all work together in Dan's house and we'll go out in Chicago that night or whatever.

And Dave was very mad at me because I went to that. I don't really know why, but my punishment for it was that I had to be up early the next morning at the kickball tournament, 7 a.m. I had to register the barstool team, which I don't know why you had to register the team. Why weren't we already registered? But whatever. That's not the point either.

And we went out that night with the Stanley Cup. We started partying early in the day. We went out with Patrick Sharp. And then drinks were flowing. At one point on the bus, the Sharp and a couple of the other guys wanted me to walk off the bus first when we got to a club. So the whole crowd would think it was Kane and go nuts. And then Kane would come off again. But then Kane was like, no, that dude doesn't look like me.

He's fucking disgusting, which is a really mean thing to say. And then we did it anyway. When I got off the bus, thinking like, oh man, this is going to be so cool. Like a whole city block in Chicago is going to go bananas

because they think I'm Patrick Kane. We were walking into like a secret Calvin Harris concert. And the first thing that the i step off the bus is like a hush on the crowd everyone can clearly tell it's not patrick came it did not look as much like it was i thought it did apparently and and then i just heard that fucking feidelberg and i was like all right this is super embarrassing just run inside run inside um but so then the night gets hazier from there. Kane told me I was disgusting one more time in case I'd forgotten.

Like, we were at the bar. He just came to me, and he's like, hey, just so you know, you look really fucking gross. We look at least a little alike, just so we're clear here, dude. Like, we don't look that different. Night gets, like, hazier and hazier and hazier. But I want to say my last memory is there were some things involved in the night that make nights progress. And then my last thing I remember is at like 5.30 in the morning, maybe 6.

I don't really recall. I was standing in an alleyway eating a bowl of cereal. Like not a bowl. I was like plastic bowls. You get the gas station kind of deal or the bodega eating a bowl of cereal. And I just blacked out. And from that, like from there, I was with I was with a few Blackhawks. And from there, it was like, boom, lights out.

And I have no idea what happened from then until 2 p.m. I think I woke up. Oh, Jesus. Clearly, I did not make it to register the kickball team. They made it anyway. But the I had like missed calls. I was in a rough spot. I was fully dressed

in bed on top of my comforter on top of my sheets. And I was like, fuck. So I look at my phone. I think Dave had some tweets and shit like that. I don't really remember. Maybe I just had text. But I had enough information to know that things were not good for me.

How old were you? In 2013? 98, 2008. 25, 24. Probably 24. Yeah, so this would have been like June 2013, so 24. And so I'm like, this is not good. But I so badly and I'm so confrontation avoidant that I was just like, I'm just going to go home.

I'm going to quit. Barstool was far from a formal company at that point. I was like,'m just going to go home. I'm going to quit. Barstool was far from a formal company at that point. I was like, I'm going to go home. I'll never be heard from again, and that'll be it because I just don't want to get yelled at by Dave. And then I was texting Kevin being like, yo, I'm out. I'm gone. I'll see you later.

I'm going to go to the airport and just fucking be done with this shit. And Kevin was like, like just come show up take your licks like it won't be that bad and um and then i should i find i do show up and by the way greg olsen rolls up on a golf cart with dave and like olsen's like making fun of me. Dave just not saying anything. Olsen has a beer and it's like, do you want to sip? And I had such a bad hangover. I took a sip.

And Dave still didn't say anything. And then like, I don't know. He might add a comment, but like, I don't know. Dave never really talked to me again. Not that Dave liked me beforehand, but Dave, like, you know,

that probably played a significant factor in our relationship. But the thing that I was, like, because it was, like, a, like, it was, like, we weren't, I mean, we were very much a real company. But, like, it wasn't like this. It wasn't, you know, there weren't levels to the company aside from Dave, everyone else. There wasn't, like, you know, HR. There wasn't shit like that. And I was like – in my head, I was still like, oh, it's kind of like we're kind of just like the boys fucking around.

Like, it's not work, work. And this in particular was like a weekend event, and it was kickball. And I couldn't get into my mind, which I, like, I am now. I recognize looking back, I was in the wrong. But I was like, I just missed the kickball tournament. How big a deal? How is this so bad? And Dan was the one who was kind of like, dude,

it's a work kickball tournament. I was like, even those three words are ridiculous. No one else can realize this. And it was one of those things where it was just like, I could not grow up until I did that. And I feel like everyone has that work fuck up thing where you're like, all right, I'm going to, I'll fuck up at work one time, a couple of times maybe.

And then you kind of get it together, but like, you'll be all right. You'll be all right. How old did you start working at Barstool? 21. 21. Had you ever really like had a a job in a formal setting, like outside of college? No, no, no, no.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like the people who really are successful here, you guys included, you get to that point where you thrive and have a self-discipline that is very hard to develop unless you're at a place like here, which is so unstructured. It's not a nine to five by any means that, you know, you have to develop your own discipline as opposed to like, you know, getting out of school.

I mean like a lot of my like people who work, you know, nor like non-content creative jobs, like you have such a structure that we really have to create for ourselves. So, I mean, that's something that I got to work on and something that I think is very unique to my situation. It's not easy, but then once you get it, it's like any routine. Routine becomes a routine. But yeah, it's very much not the 9 to 5, go have a beer with the boys, go home.

9 to 5, go have a beer with the boys, go home. 9 to 5, go have a beer with the boys, go home. You do have to create your own thing. But you'll be. You'll be plenty all right, Bill. I'm trying. I'm trying. But, yeah, I think – How is everything going with all of your other content?

You know, just I'm doing a lot of – I mean, it's kind of – I'm not, like, you know just i'm doing a lot of i mean it's kind of i'm not like you know taking the situation lightly but i'm sort of like uh i was kind of excited with the premise of you're really not taking the situation lately because you keep saying i'm not taking the situation lightly no i'm i'm trying to just make sure it doesn't sound like i'm making excuses or making no it doesn't but uh i was excited to just sort of do my own thing for a while and just sort of prove that like I could create content, uh,

like solo because I feel like no matter what happens, there'll always be like, Oh, you just sort of were, you know, working with big head PFT and sort of, that's how it all came about. So I kind of been working on a couple of projects.

Blogging has been going good. Yeah, I read the Jacked. Bro, I worked at GNC during the Jacked days. Dude, I want to get some Jacked. No way, dude. They have that stuff buried in a government building somewhere. Or just the active ingredient. I want to find some of it and mix it with another pre-workout.

I remember when we got Word, and the fact that Kevin likes to make fun of the fact that the fact that I worked at GNC comes up a bizarre amount on this show. It's weirdly relevant to a lot of different topics. But we worked there when we got the call that Jax had been dispelled or whatever it is. They take it off the shelves, and we just took it all. We were the plug. We were the jacked plug for a while.

The only two things that people would come in almost tweaking looking for were jacked and Nositol, which is a vitamin B powder that they use to cut cocaine. Yeah. I mean, what were some of the craze? Because that was way before a lot of the regulations hit what kind of were you selling like pro hormones and stuff straight out of the gnc yeah for sure absolutely but i i forget what they were called i i i here's a thing about people who work at gnc uh ken jack used to work there too i'm sure he can um attest to this you don't know what the fuck we're talking about. They're not our careers.

I'm going home and studying the fucking chemical compounds of certain things. I know what I was telling people to buy. Whichever ones were giving me the biggest commission. I was like, this is the best one. Get this one. Hydroxycut gave you a huge commission. I was recommending hydroxycut to anyone with a fucking stuffy nose. It is.

Some 13-year-old comes in. He's i'm looking at him like put on muscle mass you're like hydroxy that's what you need bro i get you a hydroxy cut i hit you with uh because you did have to reach like a quota of like gnc brand vitamins i'd be like you know what's great with hydroxy cut vitamins and and that's what i would do to every single person who walked in. But, like, I mean, I don't even know if they could. I don't know if you, like, legally can try and hire people who are in shape or whatever. I was in shape at the time. I was working out at the time.

But, like, you walk into a GNC, there can be, like, morbidly obese people in there. No one knows. Like, everything in there is illegal because none of it's FDA approved. So that doesn't make it illegal. But everything's got some fucking weird shit in it. And no one in there knows what they're talking about. None. Dude, I had a girl I worked with.

She was the manager of... I worked in two different stores. I worked in... I worked in three different stores, actually. I worked in one in the Providence Place Mall. I worked in one in East Providence. And I worked in one in Seekonk, Mass. And the girl was my store manager in Seekonk. By the way, at the Seekonk, Mass one, it was in a fucking –

both East Providence and Seekonk were in, like, strip malls. And East Providence one was a little more foot traffic. The Seekonk one, on days when I did a little too much drinking the night before, I'd go in and just put up a sign, be like gone 15 minutes and I would sleep for like 4 hours in the back that store would be closed all day but the

I asked her my manager the manager at GNC I was like what do you think the best way to put on a little more bulk to me would be

and she's like have you you should have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before bed I was like okay I don't know that's not really the information you want from a GNC specialist like you have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before bed. I was like, okay. I don't know.

That's not really the information you want from a GNC specialist. You have peanut butter and jelly before bed? She goes, but don't use too much jelly. It's got a lot of sugar in it. I'm not an idiot. I'm not a three-year-old. We're two GNC employees here talking. How about you recommend one of these things?

You've been here your whole life. There is a little fact set. I did hear a thing about taking shots of olive oil before bed because you're trying not to get to that catabolic state or like where you have zero nutrients

when you're sleeping because that's like bad for your metabolism. Well, I would, at the time, I would take protein shakes before bed. When I'm working out heavy,

I take protein shakes before bed every time. Yeah. What do you think's like the... You want to get a little meathead with this? Yeah. I can see your eyes lighting up.

We can get meathead. What's like probably the craziest thing you've done to like try to get jacked? Stamina? Multiplications? Which ones? I did windstraw. I did Russian windstraw. Not injites. I never did in jade um and then i did uh i did a cream that i honestly don't even think was ever actually a steroid at

all um and then i also did anavar yeah which is uh it's a steroid but it's mainly for aids patients so they don't lose muscle mass but that one was we actually talked about this fairly recently that was a a Georgia I heard about that because a Georgia

cheerleader was taking it oh she popped popped for it yeah and dude this chick I was like

I saw her and I was like that's the body I want dude like look at this chick shred city dude dude

male or female oh she got popped for animal I was like, that's the body I want. Dude. Like, look at this chick. Shred city, dude. Shred. Male or female? Oh, she got popped for animal? Dude, I've actually been taking, and I still am taking. So remember that Russian hockey skater who got popped for PEDs? The finger skater? It brings a bell. The story is, like, the 14- 14 year old girl got popper pd yeah yeah so i

like looked into it and i was like what is this stuff so i started looking at the stack she tested positive for i wanted to like make some blog content like i'm gonna do the pd the russian skater did so i researched it there's this one called l quarantine that if you take an injectable isn't legal uh in competition like regular shit yeah but if you take as an injectable isn't legal in competition. Carnitine isn't like regular shit. Yeah, but if you inject it, it's supposed to be like a B12 shot. It's supposed to make you feel. So I found a place.

So some of these like IV places, like hangover IV places, offer these shots. So like every, you know, they're like, so I found them. They're like 20 bucks a pop. So like on a sunday i was going and getting them like to uh when i'm hung over like to work out and i was getting them sporadically throughout the week and they are amazing this like what this like you can get in new york yeah well actually in new jersey okay but it was i mean this stuff actually works like it's not an anabolic of any way But it gets you like

You just feel Like you run through a brick wall And like Live for hours It's like I've done We had Jack 3D Back like my freshman year

Yeah Of high school And this stuff gets pretty God damn close Really Cause it's like Does it give you the tingle No no

It doesn't give you the The tingle What the fuck Dude so you can get that easily With beta alanine. Yeah, I know, but the jacked one was different. Yeah, because that was like the meth, like the little meth, little tweaker. Yeah, the tweak, yeah.

Like, you're not even getting the rep up, you're just tweaking it up. Dude, if you ever wanted to be, you ever, like, wanted your life in danger, you should have been in the Florida State Gyms in like 2006. Just a bunch of monster meatheads ripped on jacks, tweaking their fucking minds out. Dude, I mean, well, now there's SARMs goblins. So TikTok, so let me tell you about these compounds called SARMs because they're fucking dangerous. But you can buy their research chemicals. And a lot of them are medicines that have been fd like haven't passed fda regulations they failed in certain trials but you can buy them easily online because they're supposed to be used in lab tests so

they're supposed to be like given to rodents to like conduct like college level experiments on the impacts of some of these compounds and a lot of them were created as a male birth control so you know if you like take steroids it can make you go infertile oh yeah i'm definitely in for real so they were developing um not always but they're developing uh male birth control and that's where a lot of these SARMs are so you can buy them online like 50 bucks a pop in on tiktok there's like guys ripping them showing their progress and like and this is getting them jacked yeah getting them jacked which is crazy but like some of it's like uh selective androgynous uh and endocrinological receptor modulators or selective androgynous receptor modulators and they're like they're

they're oral they're with a dropper and like a bunch of like nfl players have gotten popped for them uh but you can just buy them at a store no you can order them online okay and so you see like order them online where i ordered the russian steroids from or order them online from a regular store like regular store not on amazon but like there's tons of places you can just order them online where I order the Russian steroids from or order them online from like a regular store? Like regular store. Not on Amazon, but like there's tons of places you can just order them as easy as like – you can even like use PayPal for some of them. It's like – That's not – I feel like you can use PayPal for a lot of nefarious things.

You can even buy it with Venmo. Yeah. But that's been like – that's the new craze of like oral because everyone's scared of steroids but if you have something with a different name like people are just like oh i wrote a blog on this like kids are getting seriously fucked up from this like there's guys who are like 23 24 getting on trt because they took sarms what's trt testosterone replacement therapy i used to think you were on it before I knew you were doing some steroids back in the day. I don't know why.

I was just like, because you have like a pump. So Joey's on TRT. Joey Canasta. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like he's shooting up tea like in the studio. But is he? I don't think he is. Yeah.

I looked at one of the needles. I think he has multiple medications he injects. No, no. I looked. He showed me the testosterone. Okay testosterone cipronate or something. They came up to the pint bar the other day, and they did one. And I was like, what the fuck was that? I looked at it, and it was for something completely different.

But I think he also has the other kind. Yeah, he has to use a fucking long ass. Yeah, that wasn't this. That was scary as fuck. He always like, yo, do you want some steroids? No, I'm good. You thought I was just silently walking around TRT? I wasn't this. That was scary as fuck. He always like, yo, do you want some steroids? No, I'm good. He like tries to like. You thought I was just silently walking around TRD?

I don't know. So wait, what does testosterone replacement therapy do? Like, so if you go, if your like balls don't work anymore because you like did SARMs or did one of these like, like Winstroll or other androgen like type stuff and it shuts down your natural production, Stu Feiner's on it. it okay that's why he has so much energy yeah like those shots yeah yeah yeah it turns out like it's the fountain of youth like joe rogan's on it like the only downside to it is that you know you will feel like you're 18 if you're like 40 or 50 but like you're getting a heart attack quick oh really yeah like your your. Like, your life expectancy goes way down.

That's a pretty huge downside. Yeah. To drop that with the only downside of it is your life goes way down. No. Like, drugs don't take your life expectancy way down. But, like, Rogan says, like, people who ask him about it, like Joe Rogan, like, uh, Rogan says, like people who ask him about it, like Joe Rogan, like,

Oh, it was like testosterone bad for you. He's like, yeah, we'll get an old bad for you too. So I'm eliminating that from my life. Like basically you like think you're a superhuman, but that whole like being old thing,

like you don't get that. Like that's the trade off. Being old is bad for you That's the argument for dying young It makes sense You live a healthier life if you just die young No but Have you ever checked your T levels?

No we've talked about doing it Kevin and I have talked about doing it I don't know what mine would be You probably had a point in your life After doing all that Did you ever do a PCT? No I didn't do them right at all i didn't stop drinking during it it was i fucked my body up doing those for sure yeah i did not do them properly it was not it was not wise if i could go back and do it i would undo doing steroids

but there was no reason to do it right i didn't do, like, they worked. I always said, like, the example I always use is I could never do pull-ups. Like, I couldn't do pull-ups. I could do, like, three or four max. That's it. And, like, one day on Anovar, and I was, like, ripping, like, 20. And then I would just get down. I was like, oh, like, every part of me feels like it's made out of rock. Like, it was fucking sick. However, but no, me feels like it's made out of rock. It was fucking sick.

However, but no, I never did a post-psychotherapy. I never got checked. My liver is fine because I've got my liver checked recently for different reasons. But I would imagine that I did some pretty bad internal damage. Yeah. Luckily, I'll have a healthy life because I won't get to be old. I don't know. I mean, Arnold is still kicking. I don't know. You still,

I mean, Arnold is still kicking. Yeah, but he was doing it right. Yeah. I don't think those guys were doing it right. Everyone says like,

they were doing so much like all the stories of them partying and shit. Like they weren't doing it right. That's a good point. That's a fucking good point. I mean, like,

and they're getting up there. I mean, most of them have to have like some heart surgery. So what's the really bad part about it is that it grows your heart and that's that's where it gets tricky yeah yeah it's i don't mean to scare you oh i'm not scared i've already accepted it don't worry about it how much like years do you think you've taken like i think about this a lot like how many years you think you you've taken off your life since you were born? I don't know. I don't think that many because I go back and forth with a lot of shit where I have very unhealthy habits.

But also I have a lot of healthy habits where I do exercise. When I eat, I usually eat pretty healthy. I drink a shitload of water. I definitely drink too much. I don't really do that many drugs anymore. Occasionally I will. I'll let it pop. But the – I think I'm fairly balanced.

Conservative five. Five taking off? Yeah. Yeah, more than that. That's where I'm thinking. But also, where are we starting? I think I'll probably die in my 60s. So I guess I'm taking 20.

Yeah. I think you got more than that. 60s. So I guess I'm taking 20. Yeah. Well, I think you got more than that. Plus, modern medicine. Got to bet on it. Yeah. Got to bet on it. But... How many have you taken off?

I've probably taken off five to ten range. But you know who lives freaking long? Alcoholics. People who don't want to live, yeah. No, like... It's the curse. Yeah. Like, there's people, like, straight up don't eat.

They just, like, face vodka every day. Like, my friend's a doctor. He's, like – he's more, like, a family friend, but he's this old guy who just talks about all his patients who just, like, are 85 and just slugging vodka every day, and they don't eat. And, like, he's like, I think the secret to living a long time is not eating. These and they don't eat and like he's like i think the secret to living a long time is not eating these guys just don't eat they just drink they like i mean they look very unhealthy though like you see like an 85 year old alcoholic with like it's just skin and bones and then this fucking huge gut yeah that like i was actually reading about that when people were getting so mad about essential businesses and stuff in the quarantine,

like why so-and-so store was closed but liquor stores were allowed to be open, and it was like because they're essential for alcoholics. Like they need to get their alcohol or they die. And it was like talking about how like because they don't eat, what their body does is their body is just eating itself, and that somehow, again, I'm not a fucking scientist, but that somehow is what causes like the beer belly, almost like the protrusion of a belly. Yeah.

It's because of like, it's eating its own, you're eating your own body. Cirrhosis. And you can't process it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that eating your own body prevents cellular replication where the cells split, and that's usually when cancer happens. So that's what I think does it.

Because if your cells are disappearing because you're eating it, they can't replicate and cause the DNA conscription thing that causes cancer. That makes sense. I mean, you hit the age of like 80 you're just like fuck it like my grandma she like had bad cholesterol but loves ice cream she turned 80 and she's just like fuck it going with the ice cream every day i'm just like you do you grandma has it gone well so far yeah yeah nice good for her you're like nah she lasted a week it was pretty quick.

But all right, Billy. Thank you very much for coming by. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it. It's been a blast talking to you. I'm going to shake your hand. I don't know why. I've never done that before. You got to.

I mean, I thought handshaking was going to go extinct during the pandemic. Remember when people were talking about that? Yeah, they said the handshaking cities. What else was it? There are a few other things that they're like, that's going to go. That's going to be an old fashioned thing. No, it's not.

Yeah. No, it's been crazy. Pretty crazy. I went like podcasting like 15 hours a week to zero. Like I got addicted to that. Just like talking. Yeah.

Now, now I'm just like sitting at a computer all day going nuts. So thank you for having me on. Thank you very much, Bill. Appreciate it. All right. Time.

Thank you to billy that was very enlightening this did very quickly turn into an episode of joe rogan you guys going full meathead it was like it was rogan very fast where i was kind of like all right but he was rogan i was like and i was the guest being like i don't know what you're talking about that was like a different language i've like never heard uh but okay one of the one of the things he was telling you about like i posted the clip from tuesday's episode about me trying to lose weight and jetski had said like let's do some sarms or something i was like is that a disease and he's like i'll swing

by and tell you and then just totally unrelated billy comes in he's like you ever hear sarms and i'm like all right listen i'm like oh it's poison all right never listen. I'm like, oh, it's poison. All right. Never mind. Yeah, I'm not going to jump in on that. All right. This is the time for Am I the Asshole? One way you would be the asshole is if you are not eating fups. Bam. Put it on the board. Jackie, toss me some fups.

Fups. Here's the thing to know about fups. One, they're delicious. Two, they're not healthy. Do not get it twisted. I wasn't even looking. You had your hands out. I did not have my hands out. I was not looking. They are not healthy.

Very clear about that. They are an unhealthy snack that is also delicious. They have grocery store cheddar. They have instant hot chocolate. They have professional salt and vinegar. That's my favorite flavor. I actually haven't had the cinnamon one yet. The salt and vinegar is a strong salt and vinegar, too. The cinnamon.

I don't know if I read this one already. What's it called? Unambiguous cinnamon toast. This one is fire. Sorry. I'm going to stop eating during that read. Professional salt and vinegar. Semi-historic sour cream and onion, and unabated cinnamon toast crunch, all in hilariously big bags.

I just read my favorite flavors, so I'm not going to do that again. But the salt and vinegar, and you actually, Jackie, good job. You just accidentally tossed in my two favorite flavors. So good job. You did not know that going into it. If you can't pick one flavor, get the Try Them All bundle. I strongly suggest that. In fact, I'll be totally honest with you.

When we got these as an advertiser, I was like, I had some hesitation about hot chocolate and cinnamon toast or cinnamon, what are they? Unabashed Cinnamon Toast. Yeah, Unabashed Cinnamon Toast Puffs. I was like, I kind of just had the image of cheese puffs in my head. And I was like, how does that work with these? It fucking works. It really, really works.

Try FUPS at FUPS. It's F-F-U-P-S dot com slash KFC. Use code KFC for 15% off. That's F-F-U-P-S dot com slash KFC. And use code K KFC for 15% off. That's F-F-U-P-S dot com slash KFC and use code KFC 15 for 15% off. Jackie is going to read us our Am I the Assholes today.

All of them? You got two, right? I got one. Okay. I'm really not great at reading in front of people out loud. And this one's cringed of people out loud. And this one's cringe to read out loud. Okay, I just sent it.

One second. I haven't read through the whole thing, so I don't know if it's bad or not. Okay, I'll just start reading. Yeah, that's the one. Okay, am I the asshole for refusing to talk to my boyfriend because he won't stop using the phrase

do you want some point um do you want some i think that my like when i was young my mom like wouldn't even let me talk in baby voice like when I was like three yeah so this really like goes against everything I'm like I get that I I I have a similar aversion to baby I hate baby voice I don't find it cute I would never do it do you want some point point keys for the room? Which is short for Pringles. Okay. And by the ass... Okay, sorry.

You want some boingies? Yeah. Me and my boyfriend were on a holiday and a few months ago, sorry, and we were all in... We were in an all-inclusive resort and we were standing in one of the shops in the lobby where you can buy extra snacks and stuff.

A very posh British man walked in with his 12-ish-year-old son, and they were looking around the shop. They went over to where the crisps were, and the boys seemed very interested in the Pringles. The father asked him in a very cutesy, possibly over-the-top, I just want to get ahead. I think I like a little bit of dyslexia so it's like i appreciate you just skipping the town tennery she skipped right over

that one didn't even give it a shot that's okay that's a that's a ed sheeran song that i probably just learned how to pronounce it i was like, Tenefree-see, Tenefree-see. I can't believe you just called me out on that. Okay. So the father asked him in a very cutesy possibly over the top for his age voice, do you want some puink?

Do you want some puink? All right, how about this? You have to do it in a British accent. Do you want some puinkies? Do you want some Pringies? Do you want some Pringies? No. Do you want some Pringies? Yes, he called Pringles Pringies. Okay.

Me and my boyfriend found this quite funny. The first few days were fine. They were both jogging about and my boyfriend found this quite funny. The first few days were fine. They were both jogging about and kept repeating it to one another as it was a funny way to refer to Pringles, especially as the man was talking to his son like he was a baby. This was the start of our

two-week holiday. He did not stop saying, do you want some Pringles for the room? For the whole two weeks we were on holiday. He would literally say it at least once a minute. He would even torment me by starting a sentence completely unrelated to it and then finishing it, do you want some Twinkies for the room, as a sort of

sick punchline. It's happened over three months since we've returned and he will not stop saying, do you want some Twinkies for the room? It's driving me insane. I begged him to stop and he honestly thinks I'm just playing along with his joke. I can't have a serious conversation with him because he always manages to slip in, do you want some pointies for the room it's driving me insane i begged him to stop and he honestly thinks i'm just playing along with this joke i can't have a serious conversation with him because he always manages to slip in do you want some pointies this is a five-year-long relationship and i am absolutely fine up and i was absolutely fine up until this point this is a

man i want to spend the rest of my life with but now i don't even want to want to see him because i'm afraid he'll say do you want some i'm not referencing top two unless he stops i honestly i'm honestly afraid that he's going to stop but then just carry on am i blowing this up I mean, this dude is a fucking legend. This dude is a right legend. He is fucking awesome. I can see... I can see it getting

to be a bit much. Yeah, well, because there's a thing, there's a competitive nature of relationships where, like, when someone's having too much fun

with something that you don't love as much as them it becomes pretty fucking annoying obviously like why are you it becomes more fun to do more fun to them yeah so it is it is the um he needs to stop for three months and then just drop it on her and it's gonna bring the house down or end the relationship. He has to. It would be very funny for him. But it's a very simple thing to do when you're in a relationship. And I think we talked about this with Michael Che a little bit. It's like when someone likes something that you don't like,

the proper move is to just very subtly belittle it. Until it ruins it for them start pulling out like potholes and t.e shows make them feel dumb for enjoying it kind of like um like i would listen well actually this reminds me of two things but like i would listen to like this podcast and like another like podcast and then all my friends like every time i had headphones and they'd be like oh are you listening to your little podcast yeah for like a long time and then i like stopped listening because i was kind of like embarrassed that i would be listening to my little podcast exactly right your friends did it properly yeah but it also reminds me of so there

was a song i don't know if anybody's heard of it but it's like bring that ass back like or it's like yeah bring that ass back like boom boom boom boom boom does anybody know the song okay nobody knows it

not when he stated it like that yeah he knows it what who's it by I don't I don't know who's it by what

TSO yeah TSO so then my friends and I had a joke that like or I would just like it's not gonna be funny when i explain it nah do it jack let's hear it i mean you're too deep now yeah basically like

we all like would joke about it be like and then i started being like can you uh do me a favor and then like do the whole bring that ass back like boom boom boom boom boom and it was like really funny the first few times and then I really found it funny For like all senior year like it was like kind of like high tension and like I would be like can you just oh my god Can you do me one quick favor real quick and I'd be like stressing out and then they and then I hit them with that But I think I like really overdid it to the point where they're like shut the fuck up but i still find it funny yeah that's good that's very good i had that roommate in college that did that with some things but like and we get very tired of but then it would come back yeah yeah

it's like a family guy joke yeah but now it's i have realized he still makes the same jokes and like i see him i'm like like are to, every time I ask where something is, are you always going to say in your butt? It's pretty funny the first few times, but sometimes I just need my keys. Just like, have you checked your butt? These are all good. All these are the demons of Twinkies. Just bring that ass back, like boom, boom, boom. In your butt. These are all good. All these are the demons and plinkies.

Bring that ass back. Boom, boom, boom. In your butt. Yeah, that all works. So this guy is both the asshole and not the asshole, which is the perfect place to live. But I would definitely say he's, I currently right now find it funny. Not the asshole. When you're intentionally pissing off your girlfriend.

But she has a move. I feel like you're only the asshole when you put someone in a situation where they don't have a move. And her move is, yeah, like what you do when you can't explicitly tell someone you love you don't like something. She's trying that too. But I guess when that doesn't work, you start saying very little jabs about it and you gotta start just belittling pringles all together be just like find a way to talk shit about them and like get them out of your house it is it's it's an easy thing it's a fucked up thing but it's an easy thing. It's a fucked up thing, but it's an easy thing to do. You can fix this problem. Or.

Nah. Nah. Did you just try a transition? Yeah. Next. This one's a Father's Day one, so it's a bit old. Two weeks old, something like that. Am I the asshole for being dissatisfied with my Father's Day gift?

Last year, my wife got me two gift certificates for a float tank. While I enjoy floats, I do not care for gift cards. I also deny. Not that I don't care for gift cards. I don't care. What's a float tank? Like a Levinson. Yeah, got it.

That's what I imagine. Like a sensory deprivation. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm. I do not care for gift cards, which I agree with, but it's not like, oh, you don't care about me. It's just I do not use it, so you're wasting your money. Yeah.

I no longer use gift cards. I love a gift card. Love a gift card. Really? They will be gone. I will misplace them before I'm done unwrapping presents, whatever it is. They know it will they will not be used they will not come out of that little cardboard package you are wasting your money do not if you don't want to get it get fine i'll get it's that or it's in my wallet or dresser for about three years until i see it again dude i still have like i think i still have like i would say i still

have well i don't still have they're somewhere in my apartment but like a thousand dollars in gift cards for two separate things when When I moved to New York, my family all gave me gift cards and stuff for going out and buying things. I think they're all in my dresser, and that's four years ago now. So I think I got a $25 target somewhere. I expressed to her that if she had

talked with me and planned the day for me, put in the effort to the gift, it would be different. For example, her Mother's Day gift last year was a spa day that she just had to show up for. I questioned her to find out when she was free, then planned her day and gifted it to her.

Fast forward to this year. She gifted me one float gift card. I was less than thrilled. The dollar amount is irrelevant. It's the apparent lack of effort. When I approached her to ask her why, again, the same thing as last year, to ask her why, again, the same thing as last year,

she remembers the conversation but offers no reason why she would get me the same thing this year if she remembered that I don't like gift cards. Talk went to shit, loud noises ensuedued and now we are both upset with the other she thinks i should just be grateful and i think she needs to listen to me tell me denizens of reddit am i the asshole um so wait did he use the gift cards though he did he did not specify because yeah if he used the gift cards then it's not shocking she got you another i i think you like it if fucking if your wife gets you two gift cards for father's day and you tell her you don't like that and the next father's day

she gets you one gift card you have to divorce her yeah that is she might be trying to belittle you an act of violence oh sorry you didn't like the two gift cards to this fucking i really hope i really hope she just found the gift card that he didn't use it was like here you go just gave him the same one just the fucking i mean like it sounds like i think did he say he likes float tanks while i enjoy floats yeah what an insane thing to say i just enjoy a good float um that is i think that that's an act of war that's an act of like like she they had that conversation one year ago

and she remembered it and she wrote it down and she's like I've been wanting a divorce for a while here's how I'm gonna kick things off

he said he didn't like the two float gift cards if I was there next year I will get him one single float gift card he'll have no choice but to despise me hate me be furious and then from then on we'll be done one single float gift card. He'll have no choice but to despise me,

hate me, be furious, and then from then on, we'll be done. How much does a float cost? That's why to get the gift card is just a strange... But it's also the same exact birth. Like what? He just didn't ask. I'd rather have an open-ended card, which again, I won't use.

I don't want it to be like... I don't like making plans. Even when you guys text like, hey, are you free this day? I'm like, I don't know. I like Larry I don't like making plans even when you guys text like hey are you free this day I'm like I don't know I mean yes I am but who knows what's going to come up between now and then so I can't tell you yes for sure um

but the yeah I mean you can't just fucking get your husband half the gift card half the present you got him for Father's Day last year yeah that's tough unless one of your kids died yeah this reminds me I think I've actually told this more than you save some money on one birthday I think I've actually told this story before and I wasn't fully paying attention to this because I was trying to find the other one so I don't even know if this is relevant

but the biggest like fight my sister and I have ever had was trying to get my dad a um i definitely have told the story before i'm trying to get my dad is this what did you tell me this after the at the bar no birthday one oh yeah they threw your birthday party and they didn't throw her one oh my god that was our biggest fight actually um no no so she we were trying to figure out what father's day gift to get my dad and she decides to already buy him without asking me a 200 tie clip which he's never once in his life worn a tie clip so i was like that's a dumb question this also like isn't even gonna mean anything to you guys i'm just like kind of worked up again thinking about it but i said don't get the tie clip she said i already got the tie clip. And I was like, but he's never worn a tie clip in his life.

It was $200, and I had to spend $100 on it for the tie clip, and he has never once used it. Yeah, you just got to give him $200. That's what's the – this made you think of that? What? This made you think of that. What? This made you think of that. I have no idea what this is about. I have no idea what this is about.

But I just thought about that. That made me think of? I mentioned last episode that I was home for Anna's birthday this weekend. And luckily I have a sister who does everything. And then she kind of Venmo's us for the four of us. And she just kind of Venmo's us for the four of us. She's kind of Venmo's us for all the gifts afterwards. She's very good. She's incredible at it. Very thoughtful gifts and

stuff I would never think of. Is this the one that got you the cardigan? No, that's my other sister. Gotcha. I think that's good gifts. Yeah. I don't get a lot of gift cards, but when I do, I don't use them. But the... And usually it's like nothing crazy. Not that gift cards, but when I do, I don't use them. But the – and usually it's like – I don't know.

It's nothing crazy. Not that I care, but it's like – it's usually like 50 bucks for – we all get like a 50-dollar Venmo, whatever. And you kind of just pay it and go on. There's a $300 Venmo this year. I was like, dude, did you Venmo all of us $300? Like, where did you get it? She's like, it's just good. Don't worry about it.

It has a watch and it's nice. But I was like, that was a surprise. The price of the gifts we get has gone up significantly. So congratulations on the promotion, Hannah. That's a jump from like 50 to 3. Now, mind you, also it was was a 60th birthday, so... Okay. Well, a little different.

But, anyway, last time on the asshole. I still haven't found it, but... Why don't you just find another one? I got one. Somebody asked me this, like, two weeks ago. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's more of a hypothetical, but it can work for this. I know.

If you are hooking up with a girl, like, strictly booty call, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's more of a hypothetical, but it can work for this. I know. If you are hooking up with a girl, like strictly booty call, like late night, 3 a.m., you guys just met one time, and then that's now your sneaky link. Like, you guys just text each other around 2 a.m., there's no talking, you guys just have sex, fall asleep, wake up the next morning. This goes on for two months. And then she dies. Do you go to her funeral? That was a curve I did not expect. next morning. This goes on for two months. And then she dies. Do you go to her funeral? That was

a curve I did not expect. If you don't go to her funeral, are you an asshole? But you guys don't have any really connection. You guys have just had sex a bunch of times. Never really spoken. Do you go to your sneaky lynx funeral is the question. As someone who very recently tweeted

why didn't Efron go to the funeral in that awkward moment? I feel like you always go is the question. As someone who very recently tweeted why did Nefron go to the funeral in that awkward moment, I feel like you always go to the funeral. I think you have to. You don't know any of your friends, though. No. You don't have to.

The friends don't care if you're there. Because I've had this exact situation happen. Where... Nice bath! Sorry. No, no, no, no. It is when my buddy... I was just serving him up this morning.

When my buddy died, he was with a girl that night. Which is a shit way for her to wake up. But... With a dead body in bed but yeah and she came to the funeral and we were like we're cool with her and we're like hey that's very nice of you to come

they'd hooked up a little bit but like they were more or less like did not really know each other I don't think it was quite a one night stand stand but it was essentially a one-night stand and um we were like we're like you know we're thankful she came but like now it's a funny story thankful is not the right word we didn't care one way or the other but now it's just like a funny story that we tell we're like do you believe she fucking came i was the last one to fuck the dead guy. So yeah, I think you always go to the funeral.

And then maybe worst case scenario is you end up being a funny story their friends tell. I feel like in that situation, would you just make up how you know him? Well, one of my buddies was with them that night. So he's like, I i know that so we went over and talked to her because she knew no one else there gotcha and uh yeah that is i you go and then he's again he's just like at the bus feels are kind of fun the right ones yeah yeah like it'll tell you what that was a fun funeral yeah that's I went to one recently and it was like all the boys

getting back together yeah there can be boring ones like when an old person dies but young person funerals are fun yeah you're right

thinking of my grandma's funeral I'm like fucking did the rosary like six times yeah an old person funeral boring young person funeral

people kept saying they knew me. I didn't know them. I was like, all right. Young ones. Oh, you got so big since I last saw you. I'm an adult man now. Yeah, that makes sense.

We don't have a relationship. Italian funerals were like Irish funerals. Irish funerals are drinking. Italian funerals are miserable. Really? Everybody smiles. Everybody's extra dramatic, obviously. Everybody's crying. There's good food though Irish funeral is everybody's drinking having a good time

remembering the life yeah yeah it's like this is about me this yeah is it gonna be dude we had my actually I said all people films aren't fun but my grandmother's we had a fucking cheese from Orleans, and we had like a, we had like a full on, like, we had like the fucking, Really? What do you call it? The New Orleans funeral?

At the, not New Orleans, because the funeral wasn't in New Orleans, but we just had like, like the jazz bands come at the repass, and we were like fucking rocking out. That's amazing. That was fun.

And then, yes, Irish and New Orleans, in my experience, are, are fun. I don't know if I've ever been to an Italian funeral because I keep Italians out of my life.

I found out that Italian-American Heritage Month is in October, and I'm going to make that month so much about me. I'm showing up drunk for a whole month. I'm making you guys all come to the parade with me. Can you imagine if we all go to the Italian parade? We're gold chains. We just really support Italian heritage. Change the KFC Radio Twitter logo.

Oh, man. All right. Voicemails time. Voicemails are brought to you by the Barstool Sports Store. I am about to go do a photo shoot for this momentarily. If you know anything about me, I love these photo shoots.

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Sad Boy on the bottom. Very nice. Very classy. But shop KFC Sad boy season. Sad boy on the bottom. Very nice. Very classy. But shop KFC Radio and the rest of Barstool's summer items at store.barstoolsports.com. I'm not going to read that twice because you know what it is. Just finished up the Monroe, Marilyn Monroe episode. Great one. So I've gotten into this weird habit of getting super stoned and then watching

old kids movies and they're 10 times better now so I'm just wondering what movies old movies that you watch that now you get jokes or find funnier that you didn't the first time you watched them I have absolutely

no answer for that because I did not watch things that I saw when I was younger I recently saw it ruins them I can imagine it ruining it a bit but I can't tell you like a movie I watched it's probably because I don't smoke weed really but I

I got nothing I don't run into kids movies when i'm high i like watching like newer shit like something like interstellar or something that like i just zone in on for a few hours but like kid shit even getting high and watching kids stuff like if you didn't see when you were a kid you're not gonna like it i saw a good burger as an adult i was like there's trash i saw the first mighty ducks when i was an adult i was like not for me yeah d2 i like still the nostalgic i love it but even when i watch that i'm like yeah it's a bad movie i love when people poke out the potholes in that movie there's so many fucking just like them changing jerseys and all that shit yeah it's the i don't really go back

to old ones i guess i guess there's stuff like mrs delphi and stuff like that has a lot more like adult references but i also just saw that for the first time this year does that hold up the uh adult man dressing like a woman no that would that to see his children that'd be a crime yeah major one uh what were you gonna say paz uh scooby-doo from 2002 yes that was like a live action that's like that you go back and every like five minutes it's just like a tits joke or a weed joke

or like a sex joke. Really? So that's, there's like 20 references. Was that James Gunn? James Gunn did that? That was the dude from,

that we had on, forgetting his name right now. He was in, I know what you did last summer. Oh no, Freddie Prinze Jr. No, I'm saying who wrote it,

I think it was James Gunn. He actually wanted to make or he might have directed it. He wanted them just to straight up smoke weed in the movie and there's even a scene where they're panning in

on the mystery machine and there's smoke coming out of it and then it's Shaggy talking to Scooby and it's like because Shaggy's high out of his mind. So instead they cut to him

and I think they're eating sandwiches or something. They're like, no, we can't have Shaggy actually smoking weed. Yeah, he's a stoner, but we can't show him doing it. But yeah, there's a bunch of stuff in that movie that's really good. That is. I think Scrappy's just a horny fucking part of the entire movie.

I did not know this at all. I can remember. I have 2002. I'm three at the time, four, and just watching that. And then watching it at seven, that was the first time I was like, dude, 2002, I'm three at the time, four, and just watching that, and then watching it at seven. That was the first time I was like, dude, this shit's pretty sick. When you were seven? Seven, like, the girl, he turns into the girl's body. I'm like, fuck, I wish that could happen to me.

I wish I could see a girl naked. I remember at seven years old being like, fuck. Fuck, I wish that could happen to me. I wish I could see a girl naked because I get to look at myself naked now. Yeah. Well, that's also where Linda Cardellini plays Velma, so she's a dork. And then they're just like,

we're just going to have a random scene where she's in a leather, like, tight-ass jumpsuit, and everyone's like, oh, shit, Velma's hot. Because it's fucking Linda Cardellini. Who's Linda Cardellini? She's Jess's sister, new girl. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love Linda Cardellini. Yeah, yeah. All right Linda Cardellini. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. I got nothing. I really, I can't tell you. I stick to the furthest back I go,

which I guess is pretty far back, but I do not, if I do anything older, I do nothing but middle of the road to bad. Nothing higher than like 70% on Rotten Tomatoes action movies. Yeah. that's all i watch i

don't watch anything i only i don't find things from like i guess i guess i i i think i only think like humor got invented in like in like the 2000s like they're like like i mean that's obviously incorrect a lot of a lot of 90s humor was a lot more slapstick. Yeah, right, right. Where it's just like literally a kick in the balls. And that is funny. It was very funny. Yeah, but you need a little more. I think comedy has come quite a ways. So when I'm going back in time to watch movies,

I'm watching just fucking shoot-em-up shit. What's up, KFC Radio gang? Got a quick story and question for you. So I grew up raised super religious and homeschooled which is a great combination to set me up for success in life but anyways um when i was like 12 we got a dvd player that was equipped with tv guardian now what this did was it bleeped out what bad words um so you could watch it and don't know how it worked but you would think it was so you could watch movies that were saying like fucking shit no we used it so that we were

allowed to watch cool runnings and didn't hear ass in it anyways what is a piece of technology or any kind of invention that you think is absolutely ridiculous, but that probably had success just by pandering to certain groups of people for insane reasons. Curious to hear your thoughts. Wait, what did he say? What was his example? The thing that, like... TV.

Oh, yeah. It is crazy what people were allowed and not allowed to watch. Like, I... We couldn't watch, like, anything. But, like, you know, we didn't have fucking TV. My family was tricked on everything. Couldn't watch wrestling shit because... I couldn't watch wrestling, but that was only after we were, like, breaking stuff.

Yeah, we were beating the shit out of each other. That's why I had that. We broke multiple beds. They cut that quick. And they were like, all right, you guys have to stop watching wrestling. I think I grabbed my cousin like by the arm and literally like

flung him and slammed him in the ground and they're like, all right, we're going to stop doing this. But that was, that was it. Like,

I mean, we could, like I watched like, I watched like the right rated R movies with my dad. That's my parent. It wasn't like some, you know,

we couldn't watch like fucking movies that were basically about sex, but we could watch, I could watch rated rated R action movies and shoot them up movies. My parents were very strict about it. We pretty much watched Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network. Dude, I had a cousin who couldn't even watch fucking Nickelodeon because Angela was too mean.

Angela in Rugrats? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was too mean. And it was like, they're going to learn how to be mean. I think this plot was she's a mean person. My dad.

That's the story. It's like when they have that bad guy in the show, that white guy said the N-word. Yeah, he's an awful racist. He's a bad person. He's not the hero

of the story. Bad people exist. She's the villain. They needed somebody to be mean to the babies my dad actually had something like that with rugrats but it was just because like later on we found out he's like go go watch a clip of that show it's the most annoying sounding people on the planet i was i was done listening to it i'm like all right i respect that he just made

some shit up i love that meme was like all the dads from rugrats in the pool i was like you thought they were all like 50 they're all your age now yeah dude that was something crazy when i think someone said uh who was always ricky velez was like dude if the constitution was being written today they'd all be vaping because they're like 18 years old and 20 years old oh like you think of the constitution written by like these old people like a lot of them are like early to mid A lot of them are early to mid-20s. Imagine early to mid-20s people just creating all our laws today. What the fuck, dude?

Jackie, you make the rules. You two make the rules for this whole company. It's crazy. It is. And then for hundreds of years, we're going to listen to that 21-year-old dude from Britain who, by the way, owned people. So maybe he didn't have all the best ideas. We put that one under the rug a lot. Yeah.

Even at Washington's house, there's just one person that's supposed to represent all the slaves there. They're just like, but they just wanted to look like, oh, he just had a helpful house servant. It's like supposed to represent all the slaves there they're just like but they just wanted to look like oh he just had like a helpful house servant it's like no you know like he had a plantation yeah it's crazy um it was oh oh oh oh uh that you're surprised surprised did well i don't know i never even heard of this one so it couldn't have done that well maybe in the religious homeschool community um i remember commercials for it that might have ran before like veggie tales vhs's or some shit because i do remember hearing about it oh fucking uh i had a buddy who had one of those really fast rewinders oh yeah so we could return we could rewind videos

before we brought back to blockbuster yeah whereas like you got like a fine yeah she's looking like she has no if you didn't if you didn't rewind the video before you went back you brought it back to blockbuster whatever your your video uh store of choice was then you got uh it was like a five dollar fine yeah it was like more expensive than if you took it home that night yeah around it um but so like next to his vcr he had a different like crazy fast rewind it was like yeah two seconds no i remember that that's my grandma had that and we just used to we just thought that was fun like we just rewound shit for her all the time she'd just be like there's a stack right there i'm like rewind i'm like thanks for having us over, Grandma. We're sitting there like, this is awesome.

A black box is a pretty... Yeah. What do you mean you had to rewind it? The tape. And then what if you stopped halfway through, then it would be halfway through the movie? Yeah. And then were you able to fast forward and go back?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you talking about like a... VHS. The VHS. Right. So you had to... You had to do it manually? No not by hand It didn't even take that long If it ain't the tape you had to do it

You had to like fix it and like get a screwdriver And like I thought you guys were pulling shit out of Colin Rewind five seconds Jesus Christ. But the black box was a pretty specific thing too. Yeah. Which is like an illegal thing that you could get all the pay for channels that you didn't pay for them. You know what we had?

My dad's electrician buddy that worked at the cable company that just literally ran the line. Yeah. It was very, like, I think we got caught with it at one point. It wasn't great. We had a black box at my buddy's house that I went to watch WrestleMania once. And I guess, like, a black box, if it's connected to multiple TVs, it can only be one TV. So, like, if someone in the other room is watching this channel on the black box and you're also on the black box it goes to whatever channel they just put on

right and then if someone changes the channel it goes to that channel they're both connected to one channel right so

me and my buddy were watching Wrestlemania and then I guess his dad went into his room and started watching the Spice channel and

so and it was very much out of Tommy Boy with Chris Farley and David Spade being like, do you want to change the channel? I'd never seen porn before. I was like, I don't care. And it was anal porn. And I just thought for a while

until I saw another porn for the rest of my life. I just thought, probably a year stretch where I just thought that's how that was the sex hole. It was an anal porn with a receptionist on his desk. She had a hairy vagina. And that was how I thought you did sex. Was Spice Channel the one that you could you could get the scrambly channels on? Like Naked News and stuff like that?

I honestly don't know. Lenny just interviewed that girl. Who? Naked News girl. I don't know. Apparently she was... I assumed it was different people, but I guess it was just her.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think it was different people. I think she might have adopted it. But I think back in the day they were different people. Because, yeah, I remember if you had a sleepover, everyone's like,

all right, fucking wait for the scrambly to, like, fix itself. I had a TV in my bedroom that... Just watching the TV guide flip through. It was just scrambly. And it was like, but you could get on that channel, and you just watch porn.

And I was like... At a young age, probably like 13, I was like, what am I doing, dude? Get your fucking life together, bro. Just staring at a scramble hoping to catch a fucking fuzzy nip. Dude, before the guide, you were really watching TV. God, like, what time tonight?

What time? Oh, I'm just checking Cartoon Network. It's like, my mom would be like, why are you watching the guide? I'm like, no reason. I'm waiting for it to get past the 99 because sometimes they show 200 channels then. And then I can plan out my night. Ridiculous. Last voicemail.

Then it'll be Andy Letterman interview and then everyone have a nice vacation. What up, guys? It's your boy Smiley. I've got a question for you. I was going to the store today and as soon as I walk out of my car or get out of my car i noticed a

bentley suv in front of me and this guy stepped out and i'm like wait a second that guy kind of looks familiar and he really thought like holy shit is that alan iverson he lives in the same city as me so i was like yeah it could be as i'm walking in the store like slowly starting to process like wait a second that was definitely that was definitely Allen Iverson, and when I'm leaving, I, I realize that, hey, we just happened to kind of go out at the same time again, um, and I'm walking, I was like, I was gonna try to get a picture, but he was on his phone, I didn't want to be, like, creepy about it, so I go to my passenger door to try to, like, look like I'm getting something and not, like, just look like I'm following him. And it did not end anywhere well at all.

It just made it look even creepier. So my question for you guys is this. What was the situation that you got in, whether it be, like, you met a celebrity or something that you didn't mean for it to look very awkward, that it just ended up blowing up in your face and looking extremely awkward. I assume that Jack says probably the best answer for this. Every time I've ever had to put a microphone on a porn star. Let me know. Footage of all of them, and it's always like, here, you can just do it.

Yeah, that's always awkward. How did this guy not immediately realize it was Allen Iverson? He was like, you guys know, Bentley looks a it was Allen Iverson? Yeah. He was like, you guys, you know, Bentley looks a lot like Allen Iverson, and oh, by the way, we live in the same city. All the ingredients to that being definitively Allen Iverson. I was afraid he was going to say he did where he takes the camera out and just goes up to him. I was going to be like, I mean, everyone here has said they hate when that happens,

when somebody shows up already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like they're already filming. And I was afraid he was about to say that he did that to Allen Iverson. I was like, you're lucky he didn't whip the hell out of you. I don't know. I don't know that I have. I mean, I definitely, it's like,

we kind of end up meeting so many people that they all blur together. I don't know, Jackie, you have one? I mean, you got bean girl like i mean with josh richards but that wasn't awkward that fucking crush play that cool yeah um there was one time i met jordan rogers aaron rogers yeah and i like he was like at an airport and I was really nervous but and I

like wanted I like needed a picture with him for some reason like he's so irrelevant like it's fine that's like what

Jordan Rodgers yeah I don't know I just want some bachelor at so like I guess like whatever and I like went up to him

and I was like so sheepish and I remember like so many people were watching and I was like hi like can I get a picture like I was like like, so sheepish. And I remember, like, so many people were watching. And I was like, hi, like, can I get a picture? And, like, I was, like, stumbling on my words.

And he just didn't look up at me. And I was like, I just said it louder. And he just, like, looked up at me and was like, no. And then I was like, oh, sorry. And then he, like, kind of realized that he was a dick. So then he was like, okay, no, it's fine. Like, I'll take a quick picture. So then it then it was like even more awkward because it's like a pity it's a pity picture and like and then like we had to like go through the whole process of like

finding somebody to take the picture and it was like i can't even go selfie with it god i don't know i didn't go selfie with that i said i didn't do that that's the worst we've talked about that ad nauseum when someone's like we're gonna find someone's like no let's just do it well i mean the worst is when they hand it to your friend and you're like no you can't yeah and then i got my friends now just handed someone else like i'm not doing it yeah that's not what i do so if i'm ever out like with you and them i'm like me me me just fucking give me the shit i had one it wasn't really awkward but It was a little awkward. When I was a child, I was at a diner in New York City here for a weekend with my mom and my grandmother. And I saw Wayne Gretzky. And I was like, that's Wayne Gretzky.

That's Wayne Gretzky. That's Wayne Gretzky. And my grandmother was like, let's go. And took me to go talk to him. And I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. I was like, can I have your autograph, sir? And he kind of like pondered it. He wasn't a dick about it.

He just goes, only if my wife signs first. And in my head, I was like, but I don't want your wife signing. So I kind of paused i was like okay okay and so i i think i still have it somewhere it was in like a that's awesome if you have that that's like a very rare signature of kratzky's in a rangers date book um new york rangers date book and that's his wife and him like both like autograph autographed that day. Dude, you should try to find out. There's so many of those. He's done so many, but how many has he done with his wife?

That's crazy. That's a sim move. I was probably expecting me to say no. And I was like, fine, I'll do the wife too. Cole, did you say you had one? Yeah. Yeah. I got a few

so two recently like last week I was in Whole Foods and I saw Usher 99% sure I saw Usher I was walking

first time in Whole Foods I have no idea where anything is so I'm taking laps around the store and I walk past this guy with like his two kids and a really big buff bodyguard i'm like is that fucking usher so i look on my phone there's like no reception there so i'm sitting in the corner like pretending i'm typing but like just trying to load the the google search like how tall is usher he's five eight oh yeah that guy looks five eight so i like i'm like there's no way that was him so i keep going

i do another lap i do another lap like there's no way that's fucking him and I'm like I'm pretty sure it was him but he left before I could confirm it but yeah and then I was little I was on the plane coming back from Disney and I sat next to Gene Simmons

I had no idea who it was but my parents were freaking the fuck out like we got like a random upgrade to first class and my parents were freaking the fuck out. We got a random upgrade to first class. And my parents were like, Cole, do you know who that is? No. I don't know who that is. Come to find out, he was high as shit the entire time. Mommy, why is this guy sleeping so much?

I'm trying to wake him up, giving him his glasses. Like, here you go, sir. You dropped these. You're trying to wake him up? Yeah. I was like a six-year-old at the time. So roughly what year was this? Because this is when he had it.

I think that's around when he had his reality show, which was electric. So it was 2006 or 2005. So right around then. My parents, we come home, and they put it on the TV, and it's the scene. I don't know why I remember it, but it was his birthday, and the cake was just a pair of tits. My parents were like, oh, turn

that off. And he's like motorboating this cake. Yeah, that's when I knew I liked girls. That's awesome. Time for the Annie Letterman interview. And then fuck off for a little while.

It's Fourth of July week yeah next week we'll be releasing a best of it's like three and a half four hours so you got it all week

to catch up on everything and then the following week we'll be off Tuesday but we come back Thursday very strong couple good interviews and

then fucking whistle pig whole bunch of stuff coming up bang see ya oh I was gonna film you wait Then fucking Whistlepig. Whole bunch of stuff coming up. Bang. See ya. Oh, I was going to film you. Competing TikToks.

Hi. Hi. You guys are the best laughers in town. I was going to say, we are faking it. You are. I just hired a... Wait faking it. You are. Okay, my I just hired a Whoa

That was gross We're filming that. I do like to do it on on camera. So I'll do it again. We were running. Don't worry. We're good We got it. Oh my god. I should get a grill. They should make my mouth guard a fucking grill. Bro someone with those kind of sunglasses sunglasses sunglasses That's a grill person. I have so many options here. What is this? Well, you know I punctuate jokes with glasses.

Yeah, you always dress like an ass. I'm an eyewear, I'm a prop comic. You are. Those are my Louis Vuittons. They're real, fake and real. And then these are my actual glasses. These have your fucking name on them. These are dirty.

Yeah, those are my merch. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then these are my actual glasses. These have your fucking name on them. Yeah, those are my merch. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then these are my actual glasses with their transition lenses. I've transitioned into the age where transition lenses are cool. Transgender lenses over here.

Don't fucking roll your eyes. No, honestly, we get it. You're young. You think transition lenses are lame. But you're going to hit an age where all of a sudden you go, when did these become cool? And then you realize,

oh, I became less cool. That's what happened. They turn, they're dirty. They're very dirty. They look good on oh, I became less cool. That's what happened. They turned. They're dirty. They're very dirty. Yeah, they are. They look good on you, though. Thank you. I feel like all guys look like serial killers in those ones.

Not that that's a bad thing. Was there a serial killer who wore these? Because it feels like. Yeah. And it is. And guys do like girls in these. And I think it's because there's like a, you look like a boy. It's like masculine.

You know, you guys are a little bit like. Everyone's like. Kind of want to jerk off to a guy. You're like, what do we do? It's pride month, you know? What are you going to do? It is. We actually do that on mail.

Honestly, you're being loud with your feelings. I can feel your vibes. He's drunk is the problem. Sit down. Sit down. Have a drink. Sit down. Give him a shot.

No, he's literally already drunk. Give him a shot. He's not drunk enough. Don't really leave. You have to do social. Just be sober and do your job. Sober up quickly and do your job. What social man? What's your name? Zach. Zach, to do social. Just be sober and do your job. Sober up quickly and do your job. What social man?

What's your name? Zach. Zach, you are wasted. He's shit-faced. He was like, it was a stumper asking his name. That's when you know you're fucked up. Sometimes when you ask him stuff, he goes like, Wait, is this a brand you're selling?

Yeah, this is ours. Do you use it on your penis too? By the way, skin's looking great too. You look great, but there's a star in the room. We just had a... There's a star in the room, okay? We had another interview and she was saying how his skin is glowing.

Because he has like an eight serum routine now. He has like eight things that he puts on his skin. Whitney made fun of me so much because I didn't wash my face at all. I feel like I just. But I think that's actually good for, I think it's like, that's actually a good start. Enough about this.

You're getting hot. Like exponentially hotter by the day. Guys, I'm just learning my angles. I was thinking, so I have a theory that this thing is good looking or ugly. It's just rich and poor. And I think you got some money in the bank and you're getting hotter. Oh my God, you guys, there is a glow up happening. Yeah, for real. There's a glow up happening. Yeah. For real.

There's a joy, a happiness that comes from the inside. When you're flying first. Yeah, when you're not living in a car. Yeah, I know. It wasn't quite as rich. But I think I was cute in the car. I was like, look at me. I had like Cheetos on my face. I was like, it's my pillow. I'll suck your dick for gas money. It's my rent.

No, you're for sure getting hotter now. No, I wasn't sucking dick. That's why I was in the car. Right. I was never willing to come. If you're living in a car where you're sucking dick, you got a lot of problems. Josh Adam Myers the other day was like, you'd make a million dollars on OnlyFans. I was like, it's not going to happen, baby. Why not?

Never. Josh and Kevin are the two greatest OnlyFans promoters on planet Earth. Yeah. Who has he gotten to do it? Well, his ex-girlfriend. Wait, Josh and who? And Kevin. But I think everybody in the world should be on OnlyFans. What, did you think I forgot his name? No, I just said ex-girlfriend. Wait, Josh and who? And Kevin. But I think everybody in the world should be on all the kids.

What, did you think I forgot his name? No, I just said Josh and Kevin, then you said Josh and who? Okay, by the way, he texted me the other day. Oh, this bitch. Which, where's my camera? This bitch. Okay, I'm always looking at the wrong camera, but I'm always like, guys. So he texted me the other day to be like, hey, can you come in later?

Which, by the way, I had no clue what time I was coming in. I had a feeling of that. Nothing was even in my calendar. Yeah. But I'm, like, I crusty at 7 in the morning, and I just text back, I'm going to be in New York, because I just read the message. Yeah, I said, can you come in later?

And she was like, oh, sorry, I can't. I'm going to be in New York. I was like, I'm the person you're talking to in New York, dick. But it wasn't like, I don't know you or know your number or that type of stuff. It was literally like, you're a fucking asshole that just woke me up. I was like this.

Dude, there was a period of time where Kevin and I very often only communicated like ships in the night because Kevin... It was a time difference. He gets...

And he's got kids. When my kids were really babies, he would be... Not just emotional babies. Rude. Don't talk shit on your kids. There was very few... There was a couple hours like

where we were awake at the same time and kevin kevin would text me i'd reply like at midnight it was so i would send him a text like being like i was about to go to bed at like eight o'clock with my kids and then you know or he would text me i wouldn't get it till the morning i would text him at like five i'll be like i'll catch you at noon it was legit like having someone on the west coast i dated a drug addict this is coast. I dated a drug addict. This is very similar. I dated a drug addict and he wasn't really doing drugs anymore, but he still like just had that still.

Like he was on Kratom, which was like, sort of, you're not a drug addict anymore. What is the deal? But it was like, he was on, he,

before I was dating him, he was on like Oxy. I don't know what he was. Kratom is now getting promoted. Like, uh, all the, the skanks guys are like brought to you by Kratom.

I'm like, it's not a fucking... Yeah. Is that surprising? No, I mean, if the shoe fits. Like, if you can't get a Monster Energy Drink sponsor, you go Kratom. You go Kratom. Kratom first. That's the starter drug.

So, he would... He still had that... Okay, so he did... He was on the pills. Then he went on suboxone which i guess is like supposed to get you off i don't fucking know i was like able to handle it on my own um i didn't need divine intervention from the lord and the doctors i was able to just sort of pray my way back into being a good person so he was all fucked up and so then he was on kratom

and we would go get it at like the smoke shop and he would just like I was the one cleaning which is if I'm the clean one in the relationship like we live in like a crack house it's really bad like there were pizza boxes I had to go back in there

after we broke up I just whenever I break up with someone I just abandon my stuff and just move to the other coast with him I stayed on I stayed on the west coast but I just gave him

I was like you can have it like literally like we broke up years ago and he just I think he just like maybe six months ago was like here's some of your stuff I was like throw you can have it. We broke up years ago and he just, I think he just, like maybe six months ago, was like, here's some of your stuff. I was like, throw it in the trash.

I'm rich now. I fly first now. I don't need my own hand-me-downs. Thank you. How does that feel? You're rich. Yeah. Like last time we talked, we kind of were saying like you're on your way,

but I think like you're there now. I'm there. There's still room for improvement. Always, always. Sky's the limit, you know? Sky miles is the limit.

Above the money thing though, you mentioned something very specific that I, uh, caught my ear was you said happiness. Oh, I'm in pure bliss. What's that about? Yeah.

I'm in bliss. I mean, I do like, I do a lot of energy about you. Oh guys, I'm, it's, it's borderline obnoxious. Yeah. You're flaunting your work on that. You have that energy about you. Oh, guys, I'm... It's borderline obnoxious. Yeah.

You're flaunting your happiness in my face. It's borderline personality. No, I have no diagnoses either. Isn't that so fun these days? Everyone's got something wrong with them. Well, I got ADD. I got ADD.

I was going to say, you just, what, you mean like a doctor hasn't written it down? Because you got stuff. Well, my older brother was always like, you're bipolar.

And I was like, I'm not fucking bipolar. Where am I? And then I went to the doctor and the doctor was like, you're not. Like I was like, I'm not fucking bipolar. Where am I? And then I went to the doctor and the doctor was like, you're not. Like, I didn't ask,

but they would give me, I went to several because I was like, but I don't, I don't have a nice try. But I was going to say, wait, with this ex-boyfriend,

okay, so he had the drug addict like hours. So he would, I would wake up at a regular hour, like not, at a comedian's hour.

I'd wake up at like 11 or 12 or something. I go out, I do yoga, I do the laundry, I like wake up at a regular hour, like not in a comedian's hour. I'd wake up at like 11 or 12 or something. I go out, I do yoga. I do the laundry. I'd like do different things. I come back and he would just be waking up like when I was cooking dinner. And so he'd be like, he'd be like, I have no time alone. You're always every, I'm like, I'm gone for a full day every day.

You psycho. I'm gone for a full day. Your alone time is when I'm sleeping and you're jerking off over my body. That's your alone time, okay? How long did you date this guy? Like two years. That was weird though because I did love him and he's

a good guy. He's just fucked up. But you know when you just get self-esteem and you're like oh, I don't want to deal with people's problems. Well, even if you don't have some big transformation when you get out of a relationship and you're like, what was I doing? Oh, the freedom's amazing. You have to just date someone.

All your friends are like, yeah, man, we saw that for years. We know. And it's like, oh, my God. My sister-in-law, I go, oh, we broke up. And she goes, oh, thank God. And I went, oh, were you worried about me? She's like, every day. Yeah, yeah.

We were waiting every fucking day. Because you're to someone's like drug addict like demeanor and stuff but other people are like this is like surprising and shocking i knew it wasn't like a dangerous person right right right but i'm not even talking about something extreme like that just like when you're you know you're dating someone that's not a good fit or you guys fight too much or whatever and like everybody knows and it's like yeah when you're not being yourself you wasted like years but then it's one of those things too where like it's such a trope that like people don't like your significant other or whatever but then also there are times i feel like it happens more often than not where they just shut their fucking mouths and then you break up and you're like i knew

something was off and you're like well i know but i don't say so i know a lot of times but i don't get into people's shit but yeah they have to come to it themselves. They have to figure it out themselves. Well, yeah, you always talk about the rally. You start to say, I don't like your girlfriend. It's like, well, I'm digging my heels in harder because fuck you. This is a championship team. So your guy friends are wearing heels, you're saying?

What's that? So your guy friends are wearing high heels? Yeah, of course. And these girls don't let them. You know what I mean? These girls don't let them. They're like, stop stealing my shoes. No, I steal their underwear

I really are you found with underwear on your face often no I did it I did it one time dirty or clean dirty or clean

they were clean they were clean I always reference it I just popped them on as a joke and I've literally never gone back to it but I popped them on as a joke one time

and I was like fuck this is crazy comfortable it was like a lace thong and I was like fuck this is crazy comfortable it was like a like a lace thong and I was like why don't you just where you put your dick though in your

balls I put my dick basically in my ass you kind of got to tuck it I do have a theory I've been I've been working out on stage where I do think all guys are trans

because the amount of times I've dated a guy and they wake up or get out of the shower and immediately are mangining like you guys love a little tuck tuck it's like

I don't think I've done that in front of a girl. But you do it. It's crazier to do it alone. That's more trans. Do you understand? That's more your heart. You do it for guys.

You show them your chicken heart. I think I have done it probably like... I think you've heard chicken heart. Chicken heart? I get it. I get it.

I've never heard it. I'm not going to sit here and say I haven't done a mangina because I definitely have. But I definitely have not done it in to sit here and say I haven't done a mangina because I definitely have but I definitely have not done it in front of a girl definitely haven't done it in front of a guy I probably did it once to just be like he only wore underwear once

there's no way I tell you you're right there's no way it was once but I also am not like I talk it all the time I don't know I probably just a couple times along the also am not like, I talk it all the time. I don't know. I probably just a couple of times along the way have been like, oh, that's what it looks like. Yeah.

When I played sports, I talked to them all the time. Yeah. Well, you guys in the hockey team. It is a fun little sport. But you're like doing stuff in the locker room and you're fucking making all weird shit with the locker room. I think one of the weirder things I've done with my dick was I went through a phase where I would send like sexts, but like I would draw on my

dick. Oh, I think that's fun though. It's creative. Yeah, yeah. Like a message? Like the message would be on the dick? No, no, no. It was like an art. It's not a piece of art. Like the picture you would draw on the picture or on the actual penis? Yes, yes, yes. On the penis? On the penis. So like I had I have some things

in common with you. I myself have started signing ball sacks. I sign people's deformities. Deformities is a harsh word. You're talking about the actual ball sack, not a picture, right? Yes, but I consider ball sacks a natural deformity. Everybody's born with that. But I sign webbed toes.

How do you sign a ball sack? When I first did it it I didn't think about the bat wing and I just kind of poked at it and gave it like a Hitler mustache but then now that

I have them bat wing it and it's like there's no greater power on this earth than seeing your own John Hancock on that sack I was like

I own you bitch I own you and I make them do it publicly like if they want to do it everyone has to kind of watch they can cover their penis with like a Red Bull

but they like it. This happens on stage. Or in the meet and greet, yeah. Wow. You've got to be a nut job to me. So mine is a little more artsy. I would do like, almost like a hot dog. We have the balls on either side.

Yes, yes, yes. And then I would draw like, the one I went to the most, I have to go back to the well. There's only so much you can do with a penis. So would you send, you would send used dick pics? The same dick pic to several most, I have to go back to the well. There's only so much you can do with a penis. So you would send used dick pics? The same dick pic to several girls? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, he's a big recycler. I haven't taken a dick pic in like 10 years.

It's just the fucking exact same. That was one of my most, when I used to send nudes and stuff, like when I was, you know, when I was out there. When I was out there having fun. I once had a guy who, my boyfriend, I was in the shower and he like went through my computer.

It was like before you could even go through phones. He like went through my computer. He was on a desktop. Yeah, he literally was like, what is this? And I was like, what? I was so mad he went through my thing, but he was like all upset.

I'm like, what are you upset about? And he's like, I found this thing like for Mark who was my boyfriend before him, this folder for Mark. And I go, well, what? Of course I had a boyfriend I was sending pictures of my ass to before you and he was like yeah no but it's the same picture yeah yep gotcha it was a good picture yeah once my dick stopped

growing i was like i'm not gonna keep taking my pants off all the time i'll have this picture so this is when you were really young this is when your dick was still growing yeah dude no i was a late bloomer i grew up until I was like 19 wow you're like let's make it legal there's no kiddie porn floating around okay no I the first one I ever took I've told this the first one I ever took

was on a slide phone I was like a sophomore in high school I honestly only had hit puberty yet and that picture's out there thank god we only had pagers when I was in high school let's just say that 6969. Trying to find the Hank picture. Hank. One guy here, he once

drew a whole surfing thing. It was a Snapchat. Mine was a 2010. It was a picture like this, so it was like dick and balls. But he drew a whole little landscape. I think that's great. Jose Canseco scribbles out his ball sack when he sends news. I don't know if we can say that on a podcast, can we? Allegedly, Jose Canseco scribbles out his ball sack when he sends news I don't know if we can say that

on a podcast can we allegedly Jose Canseco yeah allegedly Jose Canseco says that he says they have a shriveled up like steroids ball sack that's what I was thinking

yeah well I pixelate my feet it's not because my feet are gross prove it it's just funny prove it it's just funny prove it

it gets him mad at me you know what you know what too it's like so many girls not so many girls I've seen occasional girls like they'll throw a censored over their toes or whatever. Because they didn't get a pedicure.

But I think what's happening is that's going to, I think the foot fetish. Now they want to jerk off to that. Now it's going to be like, come on. It's like the heel back in the day, right? I'm not the only one. Scarlet Letter, when you couldn't show your ankles, like your ankles was hussy behavior. I'm not the only one.

You're saying seeing the feet is going to be the forbidden thing. Not seeing is more like, come on. Well, that's like, I mean, with all this like anonymous porn, like faceless porn, it's like I'm staring at your asshole, but I just want to see like the bridge of your nose. Oh, I just want to gaze into your eyes. Yeah, whatever you don't show me. Can I gaze into your eyes that aren't brown, just one? Yeah, I know.

It is funny. It's like people, but I guess you're not showing your asshole. You're showing a asshole if your face isn't in it. You're like, I'm. It is funny. It's like people – but I guess you're not showing your asshole. You're showing a asshole if your face isn't in it. You're like, I'm just sharing an asshole. If you're showing your asshole, that's like I'm showing my dad's daughter's asshole if my face is in it. Do you know what I mean? I'm showing my family a Letterman asshole to the world. It's not fair.

I will tell you, one time I was at the gynecologist. Sorry. Sorry, guys. I'm in stirrups, okay? It's disgusting. Everything is horrible. I'm in stirrups, okay? It's disgusting. Everything's horrible. I just went for a routine checkup. Everything's fine, okay? I don't have any STDs yet.

But the guy, the doctor was older. It was a guy doctor, and he was older, and I had never had a doctor stick their finger in my ass. Just stick it in your ass? Yes, and it was like, I talked to my mom, and she was like, oh, they do... Like the older doctors did that back in the day. I don't know why.

Because they were molesting you. Yeah. Because they were like... Honestly... Oh, we also have to check out your ass now too. I don't want to brag. Never not molested. Never not been molested.

I've been cute at every angle. Every... In every... Every position. That's the brand. Never not molested. Guys. I've been cute my whole life and I hadn't even like

shaved or anything but anyway so he stuck his finger in my asshole and then while his finger was in my asshole he goes wait a second are you Tim Letterman's sister and Tim is my older brother

and I was like yes oh that's not a joke no he was dead serious and he like pulled his finger out and he was like I felt that asshole I know he goes I know your brother

his son was in my brother's frat so his dad used to come like party with him at the frat holy shit so he's sticking fingers and assholes still hanging out with frat kids like this guy's a cool doctor but it was funny because my brother had had like an asshole thing but i don't think that's how he figured what the timing of it was just crazy he just realized it clicked right when he was inside. Yeah, that feels like I felt that little lump. He was shockering me. That's a Letterman. Is it shocker?

Shocker. Shocker. He was shockering me. It's a hard R. That's the only hard R we're still allowed to say. It's actually racist if you say shocker. We were never allowed to say the hard R. No?

You grew up in a pretty strict household then, huh? My dad was like, we never say it. We write it a lot on the walls of the neighbors. We scratch it in the neighbor's cars. I had one time. Jokes, jokes, cheese day, cheese day. I had one time where I went to a friend's house, and they were allowed to say words such as that.

And the father said, do you guys want the sea slur for Asian folks for dinner tonight? Yes. And I was so young that I didn't know it was a slur. I'd never heard that before. I just thought that was maybe something you called Chinese people. Actually, I thought it was the food itself yeah it was like chinese food so like weeks later we're at my house and i'll get i'm like probably six seven whatever something like that and i was like to my family like yo can we get blank food for dinner we call it gillis can we get gillis

and my mom was like what did you just say and she sat me down and explained to me that that word actually meant penis. So I thought I was – she's like, do you want to eat – That was kind of manipulative. She was like, do you want people to think you want penis food? And then – A little homophobic, honestly. A little homophobic, yeah. She's like, do you really want to tuck that C word in between your legs in the morning all the time?

And then until – I think I was like 17 when I learned what the slur actually meant. I just thought my whole life about my penis. Yeah, like manipulative, and it got you to not say the word, but just wildly confusing, and super weird parenting. His dick just looks like a chain, and that's what they meant.

It's like a thing in a chain. I don't even want to say it like that. But it's skinny. I don't know. Okay, so I hired this team to help me with TikTok because I hadn't started TikTok yet. It's going pretty slow, guys. It's kind of embarrassing. I have like 4,000 followers.

That's like zero. I know. And I just started, but it's like on TikTok, just starting doesn't matter. You should have like $100,000. I should have so many dollars. I should be paid $100,000. I drive so many dollars. I should be paid $100,000 per post. But they posted the answers from the Ask the Internet from before. And there was one where you're like, what do you do if your dog walks in on you having sex or whatever?

And I was like, put some peanut butter on. Have a joint answer, kid. I'm totally kidding. All these kids on TikTok are like, this is sick. I'm throwing up. But you should be arrested. It's so funny. I'm totally kidding they're like all these kids on TikTok are like this is sick I'm throwing up but you should be arrested it's so funny I'm like oh my god I'm throwing up

is one of my favorite comments I am throwing up but they are so young and you realize like okay so cancel culture we're not complaining we're just going with it

life just happens right we're not Bill Maher mad at cancel culture we're just gonna roll with it but you see what it's turning into where the younger generation is now like, they take everything literally.

So they're like, I mean, there's like, what world am I like? First of all, if I'm hugging my dog, it's a secret. That's a fucking, that's to the grave. That's to the grave. That's to the pet cemetery. We're taking that one, okay? Do you remember that guy, Shane Dawson, who just admitted to to touching his cat?

Well, the reason I know who he is is because they mentioned him in Africa. Oh, really? And I'm like, no. That guy had to put out a statement that said, I have never fucked my cat before. Like a legitimate make a video. Because he made a joke? I don't know if it was a joke. It was kind of weird.

If I remember the circumstances, it was like, you are a joking dude, but you sound like you fucked a cat, dude. You had a little too many details about that cat's inner. It was something about the cat's asshole, I think. I don't know. You fucked a cat, bro. In his defense, cat pussy does feel just like human pussy.

You know what I like about it? It's like the hair comes off with it. It also is ribbed like their tongues. But it's like the fact that you can't like... But it's okay. If you would fuck an animal, what animal would you fuck? I mean, I think you gotta fuck a monkey, right? It's like the most human-like thing.

We're getting into some... You went there, not me. I don't know. We're gonna use these ones for that. Actually, no, wait. I wanna seem smart so that means that you

this goes with my vest I think it's gotta be something that like stands upright like at least my mind went somewhere aquatic I'm a top

I need mine laying I wanted to just jellyfish oh a jellyfish a jellyfish I mean I've seen videos like jellyfish

yeah I've seen videos like that you don't know what I got down here a lot of shocks and stuff you're right you don't know

these days you heard the voice you heard the voice I do like when people think I'm trans you gonna fuck a dolphin I don't know dolphins gonna fuck you

no no I've seen some smaller aquatic dolphins will they have huge they rape dolphins rape yeah no they do

I've seen dolphins like fuck it's like their dick is like it's very like big it seems judging by hand size you gave it quite a lot there was some stank on that

like dolphin dick I've been there no there are I'm not attracted to animals would you rather fuck an animal or a guy who has like a rotten dick and you know you're gonna to get an STD and he's a homeless fucking creature? I think I would still bang the homeless guy.

Probably, right? I would just figure out a way to not... I would make a condom out of something. I'd be like, give me that bag you're wearing as a hat. Give me your bag hat. We're doing this. I would never, no,

because it's, you just. You can't fuck an animal. Yeah, you just can't feel good afterwards. Well, like, like,

like no matter what, you fuck a horrible person. One of my PR person was like, you need to bring this up and you need to get into a deep discussion about how you can never fucking. Or how about this? Would you fuck an animal or would you fuck Hitler? I'd fuck hitler that tiny little dick i wouldn't even feel it i'd fuck the shit out of hitler he needed it he needed help

you go back i draw hitler's stash on his balls you go back in time and you just suck hitler's dick until he's not a genocidal maniac i do always think sometimes when these people horrible people who kill, because it's usually guys, I'm kind of like, have you gotten a blowjob yet? Because I think life would be cooler and you would be more like, wow, life's cool. Also, use the gun to get a blowjob.

You know they help you get what you want sometimes. Oh, I thought you were talking about fuck the gun. You were talking about something different. I was just like, guns kind of make things happen. Don't murder me, just rape me fuck the gun. You're talking about something different. I got it. I'm just like guns kind of like make things happen. Don't murder me. Just rape me with a gun. No, it is.

And I feel like it's very small dick energy, the school shootings. Like everything's like so like. Those guys are just like teenage kids. Like you just haven't gotten laid yet, man. Like do that. And then they think and then they get that little idea in their head that we're in a everything's fake and it's made up. And then they like watch the Matrix and they're like I've never felt so seen

those kids definitively suck just want to call the record guys I don't want to I'm going to say something kind of controversial but school shooters fucking blow

they are just like the you are lame as fuck they blow really bottom of the barrel do you guys drink

the liquid IV yeah occasionally oh my god let's go through our sponsors that suck just kidding Bottom of the barrel. Do you guys drink the liquid IV? Yeah, occasionally. Oh, my God. Let's go through our sponsors that suck. Just kidding. How many times have you bled from one of your sponsors? What's the worst sponsor we ever had? One time we had a company, and I think this was actually just like a villainous plot.

It was a sperm sample collection company. And they sent to my house, I still have it, it looks like a villainous plot. It was a like sperm sample collection company. And they sent to my house, I still have it, like a, it looks like a vault. And you open it up and it has like the semen sample cup. And you drink,

you drink a little bit. It has like the biohazard. You try to guess what the race is. Why don't they have their lunch? This tastes like Indian. It's a little curry. In the end, people eat curry. So that's not actually like a racist thing. Does their cum taste different?

I just have to literally. Your glasses are real crooked. I've got to be literal. It's like my ears are crooked or my glasses. I don't know. Who cares, guys? Who gives a shit? Does different cum taste different?

I don't know. I've never sampled cum close enough together to know. Really? To taste the difference. I know I give off a vibe, guys, but the vibe's not as quite correct, okay? The years where I was doing things like that, I was in a blackout. I have no clue what happened. Kevin and I want to do, though, because he found that, we want to do, we mix our cum together.

We send that back and get tested and just see what happens. Just see if they're like, you know. See if they can be like, this is multiple cums in here. You're schizophrenic. Yeah. You have a personality disorder. I think we are still planning on getting our individual cums tested. But what do they do?

They find out what's up? Yeah, like your testosterone level. Well, I think the Jackass guys did it once here. It's like, yeah, you get your testosterone level. You get your fertility level and all that shit. Well, you already have kids. If you want to be scientific about it. I got fucking swimmers.

I have. My boyfriend had to do that. We got. I froze my embryos. I don't think. Yeah. I don't think I did. I froze.

I got like my eggs frozen, but they put his sperm in it. Because you can find out if it's like got if it's got issues the egg and what gender it is and they're all boys I've all frozen boys really so annoying you know I'm gonna be you guys do you need a job is that a whole procedure it was all fucking like a surgery like it was yeah it was essentially surgery because they like went in and took things out. They scooped me. Yeah, I would sell the fuck out of my eggs. Yeah.

I was a chick. I don't know about now, but you used to be able to get banked. But you would get like eight grand. Oh, I thought it was like a hundred grand. No. But honestly, I think if you get into like- That girl's sleeping in a car. We'll give you like 750 bucks for that egg.

No, I think it did matter if you were like- Honestly, I think if you're Jewish or specific things for... And you could probably get more, but I think if you have a higher education and all that shit... But I think you're also talking about being a surrogate. No. No, no, no. Like donating. No, you can donate the eggs.

Being a surrogate's crazy. Those women, it's like God bless you, shalom. As-salamu alaykum. You guys are amazing. That is really why. Surrogates are crazy. I can't believe someone would do that. When I found out that Kim Kardashian and Kanye's surrogate got like 50K, I'd be like, you guys. There's no way. 2.5 million.

There's no way. Easy. There's no way they didn't give you money. I'm sure they also paid for a lot of their life and stuff, but if the actual contract signed, here's the money for it, is anything less than millions. You're crazy. I'm going to carry your kid, you two, for a year of all this shit. Even carrying the kid,

it's just the dealing with the two of them. I'm going to have some crazy calls for you two, I imagine. There's a lot of singing. There's a lot of weird things happening. Preaching, all of a sudden, in the middle of the thing, there's a sermon. For the salary of a teacher or some shit, fuck off. Semen, sermon, there's something there. I can the middle of the thing there's a sermon for the salary of like a teacher or some shit fuck off semen sermon there's something there i can't think of um yeah that is it's just a weird i can't even imagine it's very nice it's very selfless um there was a woman

in an audience once that was kind of i was doing some crowd work with about it she's like it paid off my student loans i was like yes sure but you could probably start like an etsy account you could sell like knitwear i don't know i just feel like there's other options some people pay off their student loans by just simply having a job and not having a baby i but i support i think it's very nice and who knows maybe i want to fucking pop it in a stranger pop those eggs in a stranger at some point. That's how you would do it? I don't think so,

but I have no clue. I just wanted to do it because I was feeling worried and I didn't want to feel worried. Just in a weird mood that day. But I got Kim Kardashian's doctor.

Thank you. I did get the Kim K doc. Really? Yeah. See, yeah, you're rich now. Celebrity doc. I'm surprised that

I feel like you've got to be in certain circles in certain circles to even, like, get that, you know, you're on that level, huh? Friends with Olivia Munn. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Sometimes you're friends with Olivia Munn. The maniacal laugh. Sometimes, but now she's down in my world.

She had a baby with Mulaney. Now you think I'm on my level, bitch. I'm trying to rise up to yours. You came to mine in my world. She had a baby with Mulaney. Now you think I'm high level, bitch. I'm trying to rise up to yours. You came to mine. She's like on tour with Mulaney. I'm like, you know you're a star, right? That's kind of better than leveling up,

I think, is dragging down. And also, but it's a good down. He's doing like arenas and stuff. Yeah, it's not really down, but.

She's a hot bitch. The hot boys like her, but Mulaney got her. I got her. I got her. I got her her I got her I got her I got her I got her she's mine now since G4 I've been waiting to get in there yeah since eating hot dogs getting to the G floor the G spot floor what is what is G4 now is that that one now. Kevin Costner's on the face. It became Yellowstone, yeah. Taylor Sheridan just owns that shit now. This girl Gina Darling I know is on G4 now.

Wait, is that G4 still exists? No way. Yeah, she's on it. Is it channel still? Look it up, son! I thought G4 went to Spike. I'm sorry, did you take your earphones out? oh I'm so sorry are we bothering you?

you listen to an audio book? you better be listening to a podcast I'm on a different podcast the old episode are you getting rich enough that you're being a bitch to people now? I am so torn about that not a bitch but like boundaries

there is a level of like a bitch to people now? Maybe you always were a bitch. I am so torn about that. Not a bitch, but like boundaries, but it's like, I'm torn about it because it's like, there is a level of like, there's a lot of people coming at you asking for things, but it's like,

I don't. Where do you draw the line? But I don't, I don't, I try not to be rude to people, but I get like, sometimes I just get mad. Do you get mad?

Like what? Give me an example. I just ignore everyone. My people, my people were, I'm selling these sunglasses now at my shows. And they send my shirts out. And then they gave me a box of these.

And they're like, take them with you. I'm like, why am I taking... I don't want to... I'm going to New York. I don't want an extra bag to pack. So I was packing. So the queen could not come down from her ivory tower and carry an extra bag. I can't possibly do that.

I have to be honest about my experience with New York. Now, I lived here for four years. I moved to LA in 2013. I moved back here for one year. I do not remember New York. I don't remember what it's like to live here. I remember I really liked it. But when I come out here,

like the weeks preceding, I am panicking. I feel like i'm going on the show alone i'm like am i gonna have to make fire like how am i gonna survive like i don't the elements i don't i'm like do i have to bring a backpack i need extra clothes i'm gonna sweat do i have like my phone charger like i panic and then i get here i'm like oh new york's the best but before i come i'm like i can't how am i gonna do it why i don't know i just don't remember what it's like to live here i I turned into a New York pussy. How about this?

Remember this trip. I will. I'm going to remember. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Something memorable has to happen. Something like good has to happen that seals it into my memory. You're going to have to walk outside.

Pull your manginas out. Pull your manginas out. Manginas on camera will do. You know what's funny? I mean, we did. Kiss each other. If you kiss, I will. Kiss each other.

We just kissed last episode. Doc. We're not docking. We're not docking. If you dock, I'll remember. Nylons have a foreskin, so we're not docking if you dock I'll remember I was a foreskin so we can't dock

we could stretch are you mad that your foreskin was taken from you no no I'm so thankful anybody anybody who's still

anybody beating the drum of like uncircumcised is better is just desperately trying to convince people their dick doesn't suck whatever you have is fine and you can

no no no but you can get No, no, no, no. But you can get circumcised. Your dick stinks and it's smelly and it's weird. It is a little stinky. Yeah. And you do give your girlfriends BV a lot and then that's stinky. It's just like a...

Bacterial vaginosis. It's like, just to put it in perspective, it's like, if you ever like, like a girl comes into a room, you're like, did someone get like Filet-O-Fish from McDonald's? Like, what's going on? It's like really rough

and you're like, what is going on? She has BAB. She got BAB. Smell it from walking in the room. That's bad. I've known that from TV. I have a bad sense of smell, but I've heard that in pop culture. Never been more attracted to you.

Love a guy with a bad sense of smell. How about all this shit about Marilyn Monroe coming out? You heard of that? It's actually been out. Every couple years, it kind of goes viral, but because the movie on Netflix is coming out a lot of the shit's being stirred up about her she was like

what we're learning probably is that she was just clinically depressed but back then you're just called gross so she was like she wouldn't shower for days at a time she used to shit and fart everywhere she used to eat food in bed and leave the dishes all in the bed and everything DiMaggio used to complain like this chick smells so bad.

But at the same time, Jake, JFK, and DiMaggio are fucking her, you know? To me, it almost makes their stock rise. You're so disgusting, but obviously you must have been the baddest bitch. But sometimes I feel like dirty girls. I mean, I know a lot don't, but it's like... It sounded like mad.

I had a boyfriend, or a guy, we weren't like exclusive or anything, but when we first started dating, he was like, told me he had a really good sense of smell and I was like, never comfortable. I was like raw from washing my pussy every time I went in there. I'm not going to be stinky pussy bitch again. I'm not going in your

roster as stinky pussy bitch. I think you've got to be crazy unaware to have a smelly pussy. Or you have like smelly pussy. Just wash your... Yeah, that's got to be the number one thing you do. Or you have a hormone imbalance. Right, but even that, then it's like,

I'm going to the doctor and figuring this shit out. But if guys keep fucking you, and you guys will just fuck anyway, I mean, you really will just stick your dick in most things. So you're just reinforcing that. But you don't want to go like, ugh. I had a friend, though, that... And she's not like a stinky pussy girl.

She's a nice girl, but I guess she had a weird moment but she said one guy was like I have to stop sleeping with you because you have stinky pussy then she's an SPG would you rather have a guy say that yes I think so because then it's like you can fix this it's a fixable thing

if I tell you your personality sucks the hurt and the rejection of that when someone's breaking up with me don't tell me why it's really happening be like it's not me it's you The hurt and the rejection of that. When someone's breaking up with me, don't tell me why it's really happening. Be like, it's not me, it's you. I mean, it's not you, it's me. It's something so fixable and really easy.

What if you're perfect, except your shit smells like fish? It's like, but we can fix this by tomorrow. I smell like fucking spicy taquitos all the time, too. You're welcome, then. It smells fucking nasty, too. There is a regular level of nasty, you know what I mean? Yeah, you need a little bit of it.

Unless you're banging right after the shower, which is like, now you're like being all clinical about things. Dude, that's disgusting banging after the shower. I said that recently. I like a little salt on the rim. Yeah, you got to have a little salt. A lemon?

A lime, I mean? A little simple soda up up there? If you get out of the shower and you want to fuck, you have to go run a couple laps around the house first. Okay. Are you a foot fetish guy? A foot fetish guy? Are you? No. Because foot fetish guys, I feel like some of them... I feel like people are repulsed by them.

They're fine. I'll pop a toe in. That's what I said before. I'll pop a toe in. Your own toe? No, like if your feet are fucking bouncing around up here. there yeah pop a toe in yeah I said before yeah like no I like you look at your mouth yeah yeah yeah you're fucking bouncing around up here I put it I put a toe in in once in a hot tub I put a toe in yeah like this do you like like her feet are like oh oh I've never done that no I would I will fuck anything that's kind of like I'm like that actually is like oh let me take a break I'm over

here like it's easy for you. Yeah. It's good for everybody. I'll fuck behind the knee. Gotta keep that rhythm, girl. Fucking armpit. Whatever, you know? It's like anything that just squeezes together. It's like, we can fuck that.

Well, sometimes guys are like, I want to see your armpits online too. It's like very funny how many parts of your body are a thing for people. I don't think I, I don't have an armpit thing. I can tell you that. I pixelated an armpit a few times. The feet just make me laugh so hard. It's just, they're so into it. It's not like an armpit thing. I can tell you that. I've pixelated an armpit a few times. The feet just make me laugh so hard. It's just, they're so into it. It's not like, dear thing, I'm shaming you in a funny way because it's hilarious.

I'm not not shaming you, but I'm laughing about it. Don't get me wrong. You're a shameful piece of shit. That's what you like about a fetish, right? A fetish, if it's all accepted, then it's not like, it's your kink. Your kink is that people are like, ew, you're nasty. Right, right. You're right.

I am bad. I think feet is getting played out. I think it's like, you your kink is that people are like ew you're nasty right you're right I am bad I think feet is getting like played out I think it's like you don't have a foot fetish it's crazy it's wild so many people have it

I just never knew and there was one time where my boyfriend and I were out at lunch and I was wearing cause I'll have my feet out like I'm not really hiding my feet

if someone finds me on the street and sees my feet are you on wiki feet yes I am well that's where it started I'm on wiki feet what's your score it's like 4.5, that's where it started. I'm on wiki feet, yeah. What's your score?

It's like 4.5. Is that bad? Is that a 10 or 5? 5. Oh, that's good. I'd watch that rotten. They may have put it down, but you should read the comments. It's so funny. They're so mad at me. People are protesting. They're like, take her down. They think I'm shaming them by

pixelating my feet. But it's like, why? But they're my feet. You have a fetish that we didn't know about. Why is there a dick right there? Why didn't you react like it was going to be put in your mouth? Because look at it. It's weird. Yeah, they have weird ads on there.

Whoa, blogging the screen. But if you catch the feet and they go through and they find them and it's like, you know, it's fine. You're like 4.9. That's almost the full star right there. You're edging because they're like 4.9. That's almost the full star right there. You're edging because they're edging. 101 people. They're edging on fun.

202 total votes. 100 said beautiful. 101 said beautiful. 58 said nice. 19 said okay. 10 said bad. 14 said ugly. They're really mad.

But the 14 are mad that I'm pixelating them. But also, it's okay. If you didn't like my feet, I give you permission to not like my feet feet you're welcome to not like my body parts i forgive you i've been like i've been doing all this work because i mean i know you guys obviously don't look at comments because you wouldn't be here um but you know like they're

brutal and it's like i've been really like getting deeply into like why would I look at comments? Because you guys do live shows. Yeah, that's a great one. That's a great shot. Fucking Whitney, this bitch. I can't tell you how many times Whitney has posted my feet. Awful pictures of you. She's posted the hideous picture.

I know, I'm always slumped over. It's like my fattest I've ever been. She always catches me like the fattest I've ever been. Just post it, and my feet are in it. Yeah, but you're getting fucking hotter every day now. Well, you know what it is? There's a medium between being skinny and being COVID fat

that's good. You gotta be like in between because if you go skinny or like the tits go. Yeah. I go tits first into a diet. It's not good. Like I'm really like I'm Stephanie from Baywatch real fast. Which is fine. It's fine.

We're not body shaming. It is funny, though, like when guys will call me ugly. Like, I can't talk about this because I don't want to talk about it anymore. Well, it just was that I'm trying to lay something to rest that happened. But there were people that were like. You just dropped a stick of dynamite on the whole fucking podcast world? That? a dynamite on the whole fucking podcast world that but anyway so it's in question whether i'm hot or not on the internet whether i deserve to be speaking about people hitting on me or whatever

oh my god and um yeah yeah and so um wait well i mean you're ugly but you know you're getting no but i like literally it's like it's okay i'm ugly it's okay but when guys like there's no way she's fucking whatever i'm like you know i could just get fake tits and be the thing you guys like i could just buy them yeah it's not like a hard thing i also think people who are like she's not hot or she's not having sex because she doesn't have boobs it's kind of like are we like in sixth grade still they might actually like that's what i realized it's like whenever i'm like getting mad like oh my god is this like a third yeah? Yeah. There have been times where I've been arguing. And also just like Grace.

I want to give people grace. You're just on the internet. You're just fucking around. I have argued with people and then seen in their bio that it's like HS, high school class of 23. And I'm like, oh my god. I've spent an hour arguing with a 16-year-old right now. Holy fucking shit. And even if they're older too,

it's just like, it's okay. You can say what you want. It's our, like, I don't want to like, it's like almost mean to be mad at trolls. It's like,

just have your day. I'm sorry. Why am I taking it personally? I don't, I don't let them have their, like, I don't, I don't,

I don't give them grace, but I don't interact either. I don't. You just have to ignore. Yeah. I guess, but I also, I don't know,

but I'm like, why am I going in there? Because there's really nothing there for me because I do meet and greets at my shows and stuff. I get to meet all the fans and talk to them

and have these like really cool combos with them. So it's like, I don't need to like, if it's for my ego's boost, I don't really need to go there. So I'm definitely going there to cut.

Like if I'm going into like, I want, I'll find that and then I'll be like, I was right about me all along. I am a dumb bitch slut whore

fuck I shouldn't be here Ron White was talking I like that describing your cut like you yeah it's like I'm choosing that and then I'm like so I do hypnosis

and I've been working with my hypnotist where I'm like I gotta get like to the bottom of that because it's really low self esteem shit it's like really

kind of pathetic like I'm trying to like be this like bad bitch in the world and then I'm like but you're still complaining about comments and everyone complains about them you know it's like really kind of pathetic like i'm trying to like be this like bad bitch in the world and then i'm like but you're still complaining about comments and everyone complains about them you know it's like this hacky kind of natural but it is it is funny that it's like you're trying to that that actually was what made me uh like finally let go of of comments and stuff when i was like this is hurting my money this is bad for business if i if I agonize over this. You're not being who you are.

I realize what it is. It's from whatever childhood bullshit you get yelled at when you're a kid and then you're like you take it on because your fucking brain is all mushy. I guess I am a fucking bitch. I'm selfish. It's just...

I forgot what I was gonna say I have okay I watched the challenge you guys watched the challenge yeah well back in the day so TJ is always like

forgetting what he's saying you know like he's always like I fucking love TJ so much he's a legend he's a king I fucking love everything he fucking does like

acoustic guitar sets on his Instagram and I'm like yes TJ go sing that Jack Johnson, bitch. Sing it. I love him.

But he'll just, every once in a while, he'll just be like in the middle of like announcing something on the show. And he just like gazes off and like forgets what he's talking about from his BMX head bangies. And, um, my,

so my boyfriend, whenever I travel, he's like, you're TJ and you're TJ. I do that. I just like, I just, I've stopped even like people will just try and snap. Like, wait, what was it? I just, I just like I've stopped even like people will

actually try and snap like wait what was it I just I'm like yep that's it it's gone it'll come back it'll come back or it won't

yeah if it mattered it'll come back if it didn't but it was like comments I was talking about something oh low self esteem stuff

where it's like I'm like oh I'm looking for other people's approval before I can decide whether I like myself like how pathetic is that so then I'm changing like what am I I'm not gonna change who I am so it's like before I can decide whether I like myself. Like, how pathetic is that? So then I'm changing, like, what am I?

I'm not going to change who I am. So it's like, why am I reading? It's like, they're not going to give me any information that like. Yeah, it's truly a pointless thing. Or it like, longs me out and makes me self-conscious or something. But I don't want to be someone that's like, I never listen to my fans. I don't, because I do like my fans.

They're cool. That's what sucks is that you can't, like, there is some good feedback and sometimes it provides material or whatever. But then you can't get that without some of the bad. I used to pay my assistant to go through and read the comments and just send me the good ones. Is that not the best idea ever? Everyone just got a new job.

She quit Hollywood and moved to Wisconsin. I was like, were they that bad? Damn, I better look back and see how bad those comments were. Holy shit. She was like, I can't take it. It's like one of those AI bots. I think someone did it with an AI bot and they made it read Reddit. And within a week it was a white supremacist.

It was crazy. I forget if it was a white supremacist, but it became something like pure evil in like a week of reading internet comments. It was crazy. I love the internet man it's so fucked up it is just you know you don't want to take it away either i want there to be both sides i also i have some sick like i take some sort of sick pride in the fact of like like if i see someone like quit social media i'm like you pussy you couldn't handle it i'm still here i'm

still taking these shots you can quit in your head you don't have to like yeah yeah make it a big and when you make it a thing, it's like then you're drawing more attention to it. Even us talking about it is like drawing weird attention to negative things. But then you're like not focusing on the good things and the fun and you're making people laugh or whatever. Sorry, this got...

This got deep. Sorry, guys. I'll save it for Whitney's podcast. Talk about our ancestral heritage trauma. She's got keywords. I'm always like, I have to bring the dictionary with me. Yeah, she's a doctor. I'm like, bitch, don't be fooled by the glasses.

You know I can't read. It's fucking rude. I'm always like, don't be a fucking asshole. Was that a real one you just dropped? Ancestral what? Heritage trauma? Ancestral. Oh, ancestral.

She says ancestral trauma. She's all about like yeah like like you're fucked up from you know generations of shit fucking which is happening to you yeah sure but i like i don't i think i don't like to i don't like doing that kind of stuff we've talked about digging like digging into the i don't need to know why i am the way i am whatever dude is fucking it is but i i can definitely like i'll there's certain things know why I am the way I am. Whatever, dude. There's certain things about myself that I look at my dad and I'm like, yep, that's where that comes from. I'm my dad.

I call my dad and be like, I just dadded all day. And I'm sure he does that. But he cracks me up. We were watching a home video from when we were four. We were singing Little Bunny Foo Foo. And so he's watching as, you know, he was probably 75 at the time. a home video from when we were four. We were singing Little Bunny Foo Foo. He's watching as...

He was probably 75 at the time. He's watching when he was 40. We're watching these. He was 45. I don't want to make myself sound older than I am. I was going to say that everything... I could hear all that. It just got quiet over there.

Zach sprung into action. Yeah. Got it. Well, I don't have a spot until 9.30. We're good. Where are you going? I'm at the stand. My flight got canceled.

I was supposed to leave yesterday at noon and get here at 8. It was going to be awesome. Bonnie, Mifario, and I were going to smoke a joint, have fun. And then they canceled my flight, and the next one I could get was at 10 p.m., so I red-eyed. Didn't you say, Pav, when your flights were getting canceled, one of the flight people were like, hey, just so you know, you're never going to get an on-time flight all summer.

Yeah, I mean, what is going on? Is it a COVID thing? Is it a recession thing? How do I also then now bring them back to pay my wall? They're charging. I spent $5,000 on my ticket. What? They're charging so much money.

I'm not leaving it up to God to get me an upgrade. I don't care. Literally, because I'm not. It really is about energy, though. It's not that I. I'm probably going to. This might be a wash this weekend I'm doing in West Nyack. But it's like it's not that i like i'm probably gonna this might be a wash this weekend i'm doing in west nyack but it's like i got i'm not gonna if i had gotten fucking coach and waited for an upgrade there's no way i was getting the upgrade with that flight getting canceled i would

have been in a middle seat and fucking coach overnight had to come on the show i'll fucking miserable yeah i would have been sick or something you know what i mean it's like no no there are certain things once you get enough money it really is worth but when you pay five thousand dollars and you get there and the paint's like chipping off the bed you're leaning back in. Why is the paint chipping? Excuse me. This is not like the regular $1,200 flight, okay? You guys up the prices. But yeah, they're just like the prices of tickets are insane.

But I'm just going to not let it change my views. You said that before though. Don't you say that first class like paying for that is one of the first things that you like we're willing to spend money on or something like that yeah and then I struggle with it and then I'm like you know if I'm trying to be someone who or I want to be someone who doesn't worry about money then I have to

not be someone yeah it is like I think when I'm in when I'm in first class actually I don't know sometimes first class I'm like this is this is like the exact same chair no but like I went on like Virgin Airlines first class the actually, I don't know. Sometimes first class, I'm like, this is not worth it. This is like the exact same chair. But like I went on like Virgin Airlines first class the first time I was on it. It was like I'm in this pod with like purple lighting.

And I was like, this is fucking, I wish we could just, I don't even want to go to Vegas anymore. Just fly the plane around. I know. And that's worth it. Someone show me your glittered asshole. Oh, my God. The flight attendants just rip their buttholes open. Right.

Like now I got the biggest experience let's go but I could imagine like if you know you drop $5,000 and you get off the plane

you're like okay well that money's just gone and now I'm just here sometimes the plane's not good but I still fly it anyway because there's little

subtle things like they're just nicer to you and it is fucked up it actually is fucked up because I feel like the regular first class when there's no like lay down stuff and it's just like a bigger seat and there's just two seats that's what coach should be yeah it should just be like people are nice to you you're not getting

coughed on from both directions just one direction you know like they still give you food like they kind of just like do what they used to do on planes in first class now but i just do it anyway just because i don't know. We take such fucking shit from those motherfuckers. It's kind of like what's happening now with the post-COVID where businesses realize once they've... It's the opposite of giving a mouse a cookie. You've taken a cookie

from a mouse and you're like, now they're just used to this. So we have to give it back. And then we take this back. And we take this back. And we take this back. Until it's just regular... We'll give you a steak dinner. You can smoke a cigarette. And the stewardess will blow you. And then now it's like we get on a plane and it's like fucking.

And it's a steward and he still blows you. He's the one smoking the cigarette. Can I get a drag? We had a flight. There was no meal. And it was a two hour and 50 minute flight, I think, or something like that. And I was like, can I buy? I'm starving. Can I buy the sandwich? And I was like, can I buy? I'm starving.

Can I buy this sandwich? And they're like, sorry, we only sell sandwiches on three-hour flights. And I was like, it's a two. I'm on the flight for three and a half hours. You're talking gate to gate. We're in the air for 250. Just give me. Let me buy the sandwich from you.

How about the no TV the other day on a cross-country flight, right? Yeah. They were like, we offer Wi-fi that you can use on your tablets i was like okay but what about the tv but also how about when the internet doesn't work and i'm like what am i a fucking peasant what the fuck is going on here i'm just supposed to think yeah you think i'm sorry i'm just gonna sit and think i'm gonna read up this this steward is about to have their worst flight ever if you want me to just sit here. Because guess what? She's got a baby to babysit now.

There was a baby in front of me in first class, and she started crying. I sleep through anything, so it's fine. But I was thinking, people that are light sleepers, that's got to suck on a red eye. And you paid. I think I'm the only one that paid full price for that fucking first class. I really do. Because when I first got it, there were no, I think those were all upgrades. But I was like, I can't risk it. I just can't. Thank God I didn't. Thank God I really do. Because when I first got it, there were no... I think those were all upgrades, but I was like, I can't risk it.

I just can't. Thank God I didn't. But the baby... I'm just thinking that sucks if you then your whole life... They should be in the fucking back. You're still on the form of public transportation. Yeah, but baby's got to be in coach. Sorry, baby. You got to be in coach. You haven't earned this. Your mom earned this.

If you don't wanna have anything it's fucking nepotism it's nepotism baby show me where you made this money and if you're a Gerber baby and you did this if you made this money baby

and I know you watch Barstool I know you watch I wonder what the Gerber baby gotta be turned out to be 75 years old at this point yeah and probably rich right

not dead still has no children. A little hair, a little wood. Imagine the Gerber baby was just like a raging slut. Probably hideous. The Gerber baby was probably hideous. Having just like tons of problems. Hot babies are always ugly.

Like I got baby issues from when I was a kid, and I never lived up to my six-month-old self, so I just suck a lot of dicks, and now I'm in a gutter addicted to fucking drugs. They infantilized me. It died two weeks ago. It died two weeks ago? I'm saying this happens to me all the fucking drugs. They infantilize me. It died two weeks ago. It died? Two weeks ago?

Two weeks ago. This happens to me all the time. This happens to me all the time. I knew it was dead. I said dead. You guys said 70s. I knew that fucking thing. Well, it just happened, though.

That thing? I knew that thing was dead. Yeah, you said it and he said that thing. It just died two weeks ago. Yeah, sorry. That's why once we get famous, we dehumanize you.

What's her name? Anna Turner Cook. I'm surprised it wasn't like Gertrude, Maude, you know. Wait, you guys. Agnes. That shows you how money does change things.

That baby had money, okay? Lived to 95. Yeah, right? Yeah, now you're going to live like longer than like 52. Rogan said on his podcast once that he thinks he's going to live to 110.

Honestly, if there's a guy out there who knows what he's putting in his fucking... He's in hyperbolic chambers all the time. He's got injections in his... But I do whatever he does. I go to this place at the mall. It's like the mall version of Rogan's life. And they're giving me NAD. I have no clue what these things do.

I swear to God, I think Rogan could tell you guys to jump off a cliff and you do it. Whatever Rogan says to put in the body, it's happening. I go, what do the rich people do. I swear to God, I think you guys, I think Rogan could tell you guys to jump off a cliff and you do it. Whatever Rogan says to put in the body is happening. I go, what do the rich people do? Give it to me. Charge it to the Amex. My fucking business manager's assistant sent me an email last month because I had overspent because I had to freeze my eggs and stuff. And he was like, you got to slow down.

And I sent him a picture from the Louis Vuitton. I went, fuck, I don't. Money managers tell you what to do with your money? Fuck that. He was panicking. He was like, what are fuck, I don't, money managers tell you what to do with your money? Fuck that. He was panicking. He was like, what are you,

I'm like, it's fine. But you tell him, you tell him like, look, I'll just make more. I'll make more. That's what,

that's what, I'll just, I'll just make more money. Yeah. It's like, you, and if I can't make it, scarcity was like

what made me live in my car. Yeah. Like being scared of like, I had to like literally start doing subconscious reprogramming to figure out how to make money. It's like in your head. I know that's controversial, yeah. Like being scared of like, I had to like literally start doing subconscious reprogramming to figure out how to make money. It's like in your head. I know that's controversial, but.

I don't know. It's not controversial. It's just above my pay grade. I'm like, I don't know what it means. Well, because you have to meditate on it. No, because it's like, I don't know. I just didn't, I didn't think I like deserved money. I start crying.

I'm relapsing right now. I stopped drinking coffee and I may as well be on fucking rails. I'm always like this with you guys. I like your energy. You let me interrupt. You can keep talking. How long were you off of coffee? It's been like maybe almost

a month. I'm jacked the fuck up. It's mint infused so it tastes cool. I didn't know you could do that I've never never been to cafe I don't do the coffee I'm not like but it's good to not

it's good to know if you're tired or not you just get enough sleep I guess so I probably not I don't know I just get up and go I do what I gotta do

and I lay down I don't have demons why not is that my line maybe that's what he's fueled on wait are you blonde or ginger you said it's a little bit of both we're having the same interview yeah I don't have demons. Maybe that's what he's fueled on. Wait, are you blonde or ginger? It's a little bit of both.

We're having the same interview. We did this before. But I did this with him too. He's ambiguous. It's ginger, but not the gross kind. The mustache is a little gingery. No, but I like gingers because they've been through some shit, dude. They got bullied. I love gingers.

You fucking got fucked up. They're fucking shit, dude. They got bullied. I love gingers. I'm like, you fucking got fucked up. They're fucking mad, dude. They have anger inside. I'm like, release, release, release. No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't matter.

I was thinking maybe the demons are gingers. The demons are weird. But do you wake up in the middle of the night ever? Oh, I had. I had some nightmares. What are you worrying about? Last night I was fucking. What are you worrying about? Things you didn't do.

Things you have to do is it past or future how I'm gonna be murdered the next day not literally but how like how the next day is gonna fucking kill me

and did someone die when you were young did someone drop dead when you were young not young young no I was younger that's what it is if someone

I was like 20 you're like I can't trust life you learned it yeah yeah sure that's it

but if you die you'll be fine one day you'll be fine God willing you won't even know dude God willing I've done so many hallucinogens

I feel like I know this sounds so crazy but I feel like I know what it feels like to die and it's awesome why do you think you know that? just from all the hallucinogens I've done

oh hallucinogens like I've. Oh, hallucinogens. Like I've had like feelings where I thought I was dead. But I feel you like fizzle out. Is that an ayahuasca? Mm-hmm. And DMT. It's like a four-day thing

or you just done it once? I did it, well, I did it six times. Is it like a whole thing? No, but like when you do it, isn't it supposed to be like night after night after night? Yeah, but I did it, so it was, yeah,

I did it six times, six hours, two nights in a row, two days in a row. Two days in a row. And so you do it and it ends and then you were eager to go do it again? And then I drove home. I was in San Diego. I drove home. Yeah, because it does just end, right?

I was like, life is so beautiful. I was looking at the mountains like, oh my god, and I forgot to not turn. But you liked it enough. It wasn't like, I'm not doing that again. You went back for the second night. I feel like I might not do it again now. I feel like maybe I've done it enough, but. Did you have, like, a, the world is different now?

Yeah, for sure. I think I. Did you puke a lot? Yeah, I puked in a bucket, yeah. Were you, like, violently sick, though, or was it like you just puked for a month? No, it's like. Because sometimes I hear that, I'm like, I don't want to be sick for, like, three hours. It's like that type of throw up.

But I never had, I always pull the trigger if I have a headache or, you know, a wedding to go to and the dress is too small. But I, no, but I do. I like, if I have like a headache, I always make myself like, since I was a kid, I was really headachy and it always like relieved pressure. So I'm not someone that's ever, and when I would drink, when I used to drink, I knew I could keep like partying if I fucking pull the trigger. So it's not a big deal for you.

So I don't care, but it's not the same type of throw up. It's not like that. Like, you know, like I've, it's not like the, it's not a big deal for you. So I don't care, but it's not the same type of throw up. It's not like that like, you know, like I've, it's not like the, it's more, it always felt like I figured out something

kind of like dark inside me and it had to come out. Cool. So it's like an enjoyable puke. It's like a black puke. Yeah. It is, yeah.

I've actually heard that, but it really is like demonic. But it was really cool. It was like, I feel like if I got demons though, you're going to live through the demons and the trips. It's hard. You got to you gotta go through it but like can it leave you fucked up afterwards i i think so yeah but i've never met anyone that it's happened to but i'm sure yeah

i'm sure like if you confront too much of your demons but i think it's if you're like if it triggers a mental illness you already have or something you know like i don't think it's worth that you know i think it's okay to not do it suck How much would it suck if you were like, yeah, let me try it. And it's like, oh, never mind. I'm bipolar now. It's like, fuck. Was it worth it, dickhead? I don't think it's something everyone has to do.

It's like if you want to do it, you know. And it also is something that's kind of hard to find. Yeah, you've got to go out of the country, right? And so you – well, mine, my guy just showed up. My shaman was just in my audience at the Commerce Alliance. And he was doing something like at this retreat center in San Diego. So i was able to go it was really cool and i love him and the last time i did ayahuasca it was kind of what is it by the way you drank it you drink it it's like a powder and then they mix it with something else and so dmt is the is the main hallucinogen and

then they mix it with something else with the i think the ayahuasca is something they mix it with and then that makes it draws it out because dmt when you mix it with something else. I think the ayahuasca is something they mix it with, and then that makes it, draws it out. Because DMT, when you smoke it, is only like 10 minutes at the most. God, oh, maybe I do that. DMT is pretty cool. They're both, it's like really unbelievable. You just go like, holy shit, this is crazy. Like you just like, I really realize,

and I forget this a lot when I have anxiety, but it's like, we really are like, everything's happening exactly at the time it's supposed to happen. Everything's like exactly as it is. It's kind of all happening at once and you realize like you kind of make up these things to feel like solid and tangible, but we are

just like all energy. Oh, you're going Cali on us. Oh yeah, you're gone. You're going Cali. Oh, I have several shamans. I have several shamans. Yeah, you got shamans. There's California shamans and Rogan in that got shamans there's california shamans and rogan in that brain and it's just rogan don't know what i know he just talked to everyone that's ever done it right i know when i go on rogan i'm like don't bring up ios i like i have to bite my tongue do not be that bitch do not be that bitch but you

are like we're gonna do it what the fuck everyone's talked to you about it do it yeah yeah all right we go next door and do answer the internet. Okay. Cool. Oh, they didn't change my fucking website. Cool. All right. Fired.

All right, guys. I am on the road. It's so fun. I'm having such a good time. Crazy meet and greets. I will sign all of your weird little nubs and things you hate about yourself. You can see me, um,

at the end of July, July 29th, I'll be at the Vulcan gas company in Austin, Texas in August. I'll be in Springfield, Missouri. I'll be in September. I'm going to be in Pittsburgh,

Arizona. I'll be in Colusa, California at the Coluso casino. We'll fucking get rich together. And then I have a bunch of other dates. Go to Annie letterman dot com slash shows. I also have my new Annie Letterman merch. What's up?

You can get that online. Follow me on TikTok. It's embarrassing. My following is humiliating. And Instagram and all that. And watch my podcast, Trash Tuesday. And I have a Spotify show coming out on the 11th. July, June 11th.

July 11th. It's called Don't Bore Me with Annie Letterman. It's just like an audio thing where I'm going to just fuck with my fans. Cool. Be interactive and fun. Make sure you subscribe to KFC Radio on YouTube to get all the video content. Subscribe, comment, like, and make sure you turn on the bell notification so you know whenever new video content drops. I want to say something, but the video has to comment like and make sure you turn on the bell notifications so you

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