KFC Radio - Bonnie McFarlane || The Last Great American Dick

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

Subscribe, Rate, and leave a review! - KFC and Feits have a chance to win a bitcoin - Nate Bargatze’s New Special is incredible - The Last Great American Dick: Dick Van Dyke - How many cookies is too many cookies? - John’s Notebook - USC Admissions Scandal - Feits Cab Driver was an absolute wildcard - Skiing is a racket - Top 5 Ryan Gosling Movies - Voicemails (1:57:00) Bonnie McFarlane joins the show! We discuss her new documentary Hysterical coming out on FX, being a woman in comedy, road trips, and how she became friends with Anthony Bourdain. Subscribe to our youtube: http://barstool.link/KFCRADIOYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That might be the worst advice I've ever heard. The worst piece of advice ever given. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. If you're watching on YouTube right now, you see the gear. You know what the fuck it is. You know what it is. I like turtles.

I like turtles. We are Team Maryland right now. Crabcakes and Bitcoin. That's what Maryland does. We have drafted Maryland. Crabcakes, defense, and not rebounding. No rebounds. Zero rebounds.

Let's talk some college basketball. Zero rebounding. Maryland, not great at rebounding. I'm out, by the way, now. Let's talk some college basketball. Zero rebounding. Maryland, not great at rebounding. I'm out, by the way, now. That's all my college basketball. Okay, I'll add one more thing. Also not great at assists. They said that.

UConn can't win despite getting 40 fucking offensive rebounds. Now I'm done. We drafted Maryland in the Blockfolio Barstool Bracket Blockers Challenge where you draft an underdog team, and if they make it to the Sweet 16, you win a prize. In years gone by, it's been the chance to go party in Las Vegas with Dave Portnoy. Where a rule had to be invented because of me. The Feidelberg rule.

The all-time greats invent rules. There were the Jordan rules rules they had to change the rules for Wilt and Shaq all the all the dominant players they have to alter the rules to make sure that they can't keep doing what they do Feidelberg was so disinterested I was first overall pick and I picked a 16 and like that's not an anti-Dave thing it's more of an anti-Vegas thing like I just have no interest in going to Vegas it's a pretty anti-Vegas thing. I just have no interest in going to Vegas. It's a pretty anti-Vegas. I knew Dave didn't want me in Vegas,

so I was like, I'm not going to force myself. I'm taking a 16 seed. The number one overall pick taking the play-in 16 seed is a slap in the face to everyone involved. It's a slap in the face to Dave. It's a slap in the face to the sponsor. It's a slap in the face to the city It's a slap in the face to the sponsor. It's a slap in the face to the city of Las Vegas. It is

no regrets. I had no regrets about it. And I bet if you asked Dave, he would have no regrets about it. He'd be like, yeah, I'm glad Fights wasn't there. Imagine if like, so in the years gone by, a good array of people have won over the years. Like Clem won once

and went as like the dad. Zm won once and went as the dad. Zah was there just being the party animal. Sometimes it's Dave's crew. Yeah, Tommy Smokes became Tommy Smokes on that trip. So there's a lot of funny shit that has come out of the bracket challenge that we've done. If it was just like, imagine me and you won, and then me and you were at DP40 or whatever. Just like, oh, by the way, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, right, as we've done. If it was just like, imagine like me and you won and then like me and you were at DP40 or whatever. Just like, oh, by the way,

happy birthday, Dave. There's a birthday right as we record this. Oh, is it? Yeah. I would be... Happy birthday, Dave. I mean,

we would just be sitting there like, okay, can I go back to the room now? Can I go to a different bar? Can I go to a show? I'm going to go see Celine Dion. She's got a residency going here. You'll see Britney.

Britney, yeah. I would legit, if I went to Vegas right now, I'd go see a Britney Spears show. Free Britney! That would be my time. So in years gone by, we had no interest. Then Blockfolio steps up this year and says, here's a Bitcoin for a prize, which at the time of recording this is worth $57,000. So, I mean, a huge prize.

And then, like I said, there's been multiple winners in the past few seasons. And I'm still, I'm thinking to myself, well, even if a few teams make it, we're splitting up 60 grand. Well, like every team made it this year. Every single team. At the time of recording this, there's three already in. There's a fourth guaranteed because the Chiclets gang, literal millionaires, are playing Team Mincy and Lil Sass, who have been here for 15 minutes. So one of those two motherfucking teams are going to be guaranteed a share of $60,000.

Fuck the both of you guys. I got Ryan Whitney every other time he tweets, we got to be guaranteed a share of $60,000. Fuck the both of you guys. I got Ryan Whitney every other time he tweets, we got to be in on crypto. We got to be crypto, guys. We got to win this. Fuck you, Ryan Whitney. I don't care what currency your wealth is in. I don't care what denomination your unimaginable wealth is in, Ryan.

So fuck you. And I got Mintz and Little Sass who might not even be here in a year for all they fucking know. Who might just swoop in, grab $20,000 and swoop out. Might not get a new contract. Right. And we're here every fucking year for bracket blockers, breakers, busters, and we never fucking win. So now we win. We win our first round game.

Wow. Here we go. Anything's possible. Leaving out the part where somehow, by the way, this weekend, when I wasn't texting, I wasn't tweeting or anything, somehow we just, I just like reading up on stuff like, oh, we just promised everyone else on KFC Radio the money. So by the end of this thing, I'm going to afford a gallon of milk and that's it.

Like I'm getting, as I'm saying, I'm literally resigned to, I'm getting $0 out of this. For the record. Even if we win, I'm getting $0. For the record. You know what win, I'm getting zero dollars. For the record. You know what? As a matter of fact, how about this?

Let's go around. Why do you think you deserve some Bitcoin, Jackie? Well, I won. I won the little. You won what? You won what? Well, there was a poll poll and the people chose me. A poll? Oh, the pretty girl won a poll. Who would have fucking guessed?

Okay, so Jackie's reason to win. It was 50% to Zach had 4%. Zach, grab a mic. The gay guy lost the poll. Who would have guessed? Why do you deserve a Bitcoin? A piece of a Bitcoin, Zach?

I'm starting to think I don't. Best answer so far. Nick, why do you deserve a Bitcoin? I don't want it. I put the poll up just to piss everyone off. I was like, this is going to get the most engagement by far. Let's watch everyone tear each other apart.

And it worked. I just want you guys to have the money and then stop making goddamn new shows. Any part of it. Yeah, I mean, we were in an interesting spot where Maryland won game one. So if they win their second game, we are in the money for this Bitcoin. For at least a share of it. We're also the last game tonight of round one. So we would know.

Too late. Let's call it 845. 845, Jim. Right? 845 p.m.? Yeah. Midnight lobby home. I know Syracuse's next game is at, it's a 955 tip.

I mean, insanity. Insanity. There's 16 teams left. We're like, yeah, we'll start at 10 p.m. So we have the last game, so we would know exactly how many teams are in in the money, so we could theoretically place our own bet. Shout out to Penn.

He's the boss of Sportsbook in one of these states. Sorry to interrupt. I can't tell if I stink or this T-shirt does. The T-shirt does not smell good. Okay, because I did shower this morning. It's one of those vinegar shirts. It is rough. Anytime they just print one on the go.

I mean, this has got to be the worst shirt that's ever made. The Kirk was right shirts are better than these. We could have then hedged our bet and placed a bet on Alabama to then guarantee a nice chunk of money. But so many fucking teams are going to make it to the second round that we'd have to place an enormous bet on Alabama because they're such a heavy favorite. The more we talk about this, I don't want it.

You don't want the money? I don't want it. And there you have it, folks. There's John Feidelberg in a nutshell. I don't want to split between fucking like 10 different people i want to lose this is when you know you're at the bar and the bill is like 2700 and people like well let's split it this way and that way and john is just like i'll just pay for it myself just because i don't want i don't want things to be annoying for 35 seconds, so I'll just pay for all of it.

This has gotten slightly too complicated. John's out. Three money? No interest. I'm literally not interested. No, thank you. I said I am going to get $0 out of this. You guys can have all of it, okay?

I'm done. I'm out. Give me a marker. Don't. They want a Bitcoin. They want a Bitcoin. They want a Bitcoin. What should have been our best situation ever has turned into a mild nuisance. You know what this is?

This is submitting expenses. Free money. Not going to do it. Don't want to do it. No interest in that. So we got our shirts. Go Terps. We going to do it. Don't want to do it. No interest in that. So we got our shirts. Go Terps. I'll tell you what, that kid

Ayala can ball though. He is the type of kid who could just put the team on his back and beat fucking Alabama. I hope not. This year, man. I'm kidding. Thank you, Blockfolio. Hashtag BracketBusters. Blockers. Imagine if you were a real fan of a team right now.

Like Trent's sitting out there, two-seed Iowa, just getting their dicks demolished. Just getting them stomped in. And he's playing against Oregon who didn't have to play a first-round game. Whether that's good, whether that helps, who knows. You got VCU who just disappears. Or they won. Whichever. V vcu kicked out or gone went on like because i don't even think players had it just like someone associated with the team had it you got you got upsets galore everything being played in one city everything late games late tips i mean the whole thing is just like the fuck is going on here it is it is a weird I was away this weekend, so I really wasn't paying that much attention, except for the

game I was contractually obligated to. And but like, I was like, it doesn't feel like March, man. No, I mean, because I was not giving it. So sitting at home, it probably would have. But I was not. I think two things. One, I think you're right. Just because of everything we said.

It's still this is like, I think the tail end. I'm hoping this will be the last season deeply affected by covid i feel like baseball maybe you know one more one more season i think and then we should hopefully be back to normal two i think college basketball unless you are an alma mater a graduate of like a heavy basketball school or you are like a heavy better i think college basketball is the first thing to go in your as you get older as as a sports fan if you're a casual college basketball fan it's the first thing that goes in like the war of attrition on like just your interest in life yeah i would guess that because because football i never i never even liked college football.

Actually, it's kind of wrong for me to agree because I never really had a super passion about it. Yeah. I always liked my madness, but I was never like that. I used to watch college basketball. I never gambled. I was never a gambler. So the people who bet are always going to be like,

you don't really fucking care. It's like, okay, fine. You bet your rent on these games. You really, really, really care. I cared about it because I just had a passion for basketball. And I would watch pro and college basketball all week long, every single game I could. I'd watch everything all season long.

And then March Madness, I would be like, I remember when I did For Sure or Not, we would do, I only did that for like one or two years, where we did like a March Madness pool. But I was like putting out my picks, and like here's my bracket. And people were like following along. Like I loved that shit.

And then as you just get older, if you don't have like a true inherent interest, like it was just like I just don't – I don't know. I just don't care anymore. I tweeted about it on the Thursday morning – or no, Selection Sunday. And I didn't mean for it to be i just it was earlier in the morning and i was just like uh like once you get older you just stop to care about your certain likes and interests and the and the first thing that fell off for me and it really makes me sad is college basketball and people were like jesus fucking christ dude like this is depressing and i got young kids being like is this what's gonna happen i got older guys my age being like that's exactly dead on like i'm with you, man.

You know, I used to like pick, you know, take my vacation days accordingly. And we always had saloon Fridays and like the most wonderful time of the year. And now I'm just like, yeah, I just, you know, now the Mets, the Mets like take my interest. Football is easy because you just gear up like once a week. You know what I mean? There's not like a and like and I do think also the rise of of just every streaming platform and like i want to watch other stuff better shit to watch right fucking a bunch of missed threes and failed rebounds that's kind of the thing and when you really i was i was yelling the game i was like i was like box out i know it was it was i mean it was pathetic it was crazy if yukon could like if yukon could put in a couple putbacks

they would have won that game but you know i have to to sit down and really watch sports now I have to have like a deep interest and I understand that's why when you gamble you always have an interest but for me I'm not a gambler it just has to be about like my passion for that team and that game and unless it's a team I root against that I hate or a team I really root for you know I just I used to be able to watch like to watch Indiana play Duke. I don't know, whatever. And now I just don't care enough. And then couple that with this

past weekend, I was like, I'm watching Nate Bargatze. I'm watching one of the greatest stand-ups of all time before I put on a random... You know what I also do with a lot of sports now? I put it on. I'm like, alright, boom. I'm going to get some wings. I'm going to get a beer. I'm going to get a beer. I'm going to watch the game.

I'm going to make myself a fucking beer commercial. I'm going to be a sports fan. I'm a man. Wet nap? No thanks. And then I put it on, and I'm like, well, I can just find out who wins at the end. You know what I mean? I'll watch the highlights.

I'm such a chick with it. But man, watching Nate. So I did that. I put on the games, and I was like, oh, wait a minute. Greatest Living Americans out. Greatest Average. Greatest Average Americans out. And I put that on and I had no, there was no qualms about it.

There was no like, oh, wait a minute. I'm missing the game. I was like kind of following on Twitter. And then when I realized just how fucking funny that special was. I've watched it three times now. It's impossibly funny. It's so fucking unfairly funny. I think I said if you actually check American

law, it's probably illegal to be that funny. I tell him. I used to tell him to his face in our past couple interviews. I'm like, fuck you, man, because every single thing you do is funny. Things that are not supposed to be funny are funny. I'm just sitting here giggling at you like an asshole. And he says it in this special, too, with the big eyes, where he gets people who treat him like he's stupid.

He's got those big owl eyes. and he's got that southern drawl. And it's just like, everything is funny. I wonder if there are times he's trying to be serious about stuff, and he's like, come on, take me seriously. This is fucking important. But, I mean, if you haven't seen it, Greatest Average American is, he just knocks it out of the park, and he has this one bit that, to me,

the funniest things in comedy are truth like when you nail an observation uh and and and the whole audience is kind of like yep that's right there's just nothing fucking funnier and he has a bit about his kid getting on the school bus and getting to and from school and how the teacher the principals called him to get like information and he's like i'm the dad you don't call the dad for him he's like do you have you ever seen a family do you know how families work unless there's two dads you call one of the dads otherwise you don't call any dad ever for any information. I'd rather have you call a random woman. Call another mom in my kid's class, and she has a better chance of knowing. He said, fine, I'll come pick her up.

What school does she go to? It's so good, man. And it really is true that, like, I – even me. So as a single parent, you find yourself, like, single mom has to play a little bit of the dad role. Single dad has to play a little bit of the mom role. And even still, I'm like, I don even me. So as a single parent, you find yourself like single mom has to play a little bit of the dad role. Single dad has to play a little bit of the mom role. And even still, I'm like, I don't know any of these things. I was at the doctor with Keegan the other day, and they were like, is he allergic to anything? And I was like, yeah.

Yeah, he is. And they were like, what is it? I was like, I don't know. I was like, I remember last year there was an incident. There was an incident. But definitely be careful about anything you give him. That's on you. There are things on this planet that will kill him. I forget what they are.

I remember sitting there like. It's a note I should probably really get tattooed on my fucking arm. But I forget. But there's. I think it's maybe Johnson and Johnson shampoo. What's even funnier? I think. So I'm allergic to penicillin.

And if you're allergic to penicillin, they give you amoxicillin and vice versa. So I was like, it's either penicillin or amoxicillin. It's like, well, you need to know which one. And I was like – Isn't there a doctor test you guys can just do right now to figure it out? I'm like, isn't there a chart or something? Look up the chart. I hear about the famous chart all the time.

Look up his records. It will say it in there. The fuck? The dad. I don't know any of this shit, man. I mean, like I was watching that. So, obviously, I think pretty much everyone listening to this now by now knows that I went to, I think it's seven colleges. And watching that, I was like, if I called my dad and asked him how many colleges I went to and what schools they were, he could name two, maybe three of them.

He paid for all. Under 50%. He was the one cutting them to 50%. If I told my dad I went to NYU, he would be stunned. And he would. Yeah, he really would. You went to where? I'm like, yeah, no.

That's like a borderline Ivy's idea. You did? That was one of your last ones? How the fuck did you get in? I don't know, man. I don't know. But I did. You did? That was one of your last ones? How the fuck did you get in? I was like, I don't know, man. I don't know. But I did. And I never went to class.

And I just interned for Kevin at Barstool, New York. That's why I was here. That's why I was at Barstool. That's why I was in New York. You're like, really? Right. You went to NYU? That's why you were there?

Bro, the only reason why you're really here is because you were in New York for NYU. So NYU kind of gave you your career. Yeah. And he would have no clue. I'm pretty sure my dad does not know my birthday i'm i'm almost positive i i'm 100 positive in years gone by that he's like missed my birthday and and i know i i would put in recent years because of the kfc thing he might now remember it oh yeah but there was definitely a time where my dad would not know my middle name guaranteed take it to the bank my dad's middle name is incorrect on his birth certificate because my grandfather was the one who had to like go down to like the in the hospital and do the paperwork and because your grandmother was a little busy

giving birth sewing herself back up, you know, back in the day, they were like, here's a needle and thread. Fixing the bones. I'm all seen. You got any super glue? Let me just put you back together.

She, she said, so they, they, my dad's name is supposed to be Timothy. Joseph. And somewhere along the lines, it kind of got shortened to timothy jay and my grandfather went down there and on his birth certificate said jay

timothy jay which is even crazier because like not it wasn't like jason jay is a not a fucking name grandpa you dumbass so like it runs in the family not knowing the guy's the phonetic spelling of a letter i not a name keegan's birthday is on it's 7 18 17 and with the sevens and the ones and the eights and the sevens i'm like it's always a crap shoot yeah like is he two or three is it 18 or seven like i can't imagine in 40 fucking years from now i'm gonna be like i don't know there's a seven and eight in there somewhere. You tell me. But yeah, dads, I feel like it's just not biologically in our brain.

How about this? When I was in therapy with my, I broke up with my one therapist. Oh, yeah? I just dumped her. Didn't see that one coming. Yeah, didn't, you know, I was ready. I told myself, I'm going to go to war with this girl. And then I was like, no myself i'm gonna go to war with this girl and then i was like no i'm gonna quit um but she said to me like you know you got to make sure like you're present as a parent i was like listen i'm pretty fucking i really i i am a good dad like i i go to bat and

she starts rattling off all these things and she's like you know you have to do this and you have to do that like do you know your your your do you know your friends do you know your kids' friends' names? And going on and on. I know my kids' friends' names. At school? Fuck would I know that? No. I don't go to school with them. They're not my friends.

They're his friends. Does he know my friends? Does Keegan know mine? Does Keegan know John? No. No. So what the fuck? It's like, boy, the bar is pretty fucking high.

I'm sitting here. I play big monster with them. I'm running all around. you know, no, no. So what the fuck? It's like, boy, the bar is pretty fucking high. I'm sitting here. I'm playing. I play big monster with them. I'm running all around. I'm driving. I'm living under the fucking bed with them. We're doing hide and seek.

I'm playing these games. I'm dressing up. I'm doing makeup. All that. None of that counts. I got another fucking friends. Yeah. I never asked Rick.

What's Rick been up to? There's a baby named Rick somewhere. If my son's hanging out, I better know there's a Rick. There's something wrong with that kid. Your parents are weirdos. You're in class with Rick? He's not in class. He just hangs out by the playground.

By the way, at what point do you think... Dude, by the way, speaking of kids, my friend this... I'm sorry. You go first. Well, it was just... It's a... We're off topic here. When do you think – Standard Games Radio Show.

It's kind of dead now, I think. Well, let me – two-part question. One, do you think it's dead now? And two, at what age do you think people start going by dick? Like, were there dicks in elementary school? No way, right? So do you – I think that's dead now. I don't think anybody like our age is naming a kid Richard

with the intent of calling him dick. We were raised very childish. I'm not going to call him dick. People make fun of him. That's a penis. I'd call my kid cock before I called him dick. But, like, you know, now if you want to name someone Richard, it's Richard or Rich or Richie or Rick.

But like, you don't get a lot of dicks. No one's doing dick anymore. And if you were a dick, were you in like fourth grade being like, you know, like John present Nick here, dick. Like, no way. Right. I would say no. I would say that's even more so. That's a college. A college more so, like in high school?

A college. So then in college... You grow a mustache because you start calling yourself dick. A kid in college is like, I'm going by dick. Yeah. What the fuck's wrong with those people? I think once you get a mustache. I think there's a...

If you look at the correlation between people with mustaches and people going by dick, it's pretty high. Dick, 100% overlap. There's only one dick in my mind. Two. Huh? I was going to say Dick Tracy. Three. only one Dick in my mind. Two. I was going to say Dick Tracy. Three. Okay. Acceptable Dicks.

Dick Tracy. Dick Wolf from Law & Order. And then more important, like the number one to me, greatest name ever, Dick Van Dyke. Oh, I was going to say Dick Vitale too. He's not really a dick. Yeah, because of Dickie. Dickie feels different to me.

Dickie V. Dickie V is different. Dickie V is like a whole different thing. Dick Van Dyke. Not only a ridiculous and awesome name for many reasons. 66% of his name is offensive. And then having a van is like super bougie. And then also, he was a fucking G.

He was in show business for like 75 years he was a fucking G he was like he was in show business for like 75 years yeah didn't he die like yesterday yo he used to have diagnosis murder I watched that with my grandma

he's alive still no way no I think he but he's dead recently I think he's shockingly like just died I wanna say like 2016 no I think

like last month even later yeah I think he was I'm gonna give him a 20 what month is it March it has to say right there on what month is it March okay I'm gonna give him a 20... What month is it? March? It has to say right there on... What month is it?

March? Okay. I'm going to give him a 21-21. What month is it? I think he's alive. No. Really? What's it say on his IMDb?

It has to have his... Yeah. No death date on here. Get the fuck out of here. Dick Van Dyke's alive? Dick Van Dyke. Someone just died. Someoneke. Someone just died. Someone of his ilk just died.

Yeah, motherfucker. Carl Reiner recently died. Carl Reiner. No. I know Carl Reiner, but no. Carl Reiner created the Dick Van Dyke show. He's dead at 98. This just says years active.

1947 to present. Motherfucker's been alive as long as Nazism. That's how long he's been active. Wow. Mike might outlive white supremacy. How about this? There was...

You know what? We're neck and neck right now. White supremacy is on the deck. Both of those are declining very rapidly. There was a urban legend in 2018 that dick van dyke died and left 59 million dollars to the trump foundation oh really yeah god dick van dyke's got like that my goodness dick van dyke is alive dick van dyke is alive that Dick Van Dyke is alive! That's more shocking than Pablo Picasso dying after the Ford Mustang was invented. Yeah, well after.

Dude, that is blowing my mind. I used to watch that shit with my grandma, Diagnosis Murder, and that was forever ago. And he was old than that. He looked like that in Diagnosis Murder. He used to solve crimes like a motherfucker. He must, he must be like, I haven't,

we haven't seen him in like public life in forever. Right? I feel like I've seen him fairly recently. That's what's hitting you. Motherfucker played, uh, Bert. Motherfucker's acting right now.

Like that's, that's production. That's pre-production. You should be buying fucking ripe bananas let alone starting pre-production movies. Oh my god. This dude. What, this is going to take about two years?

Yeah, I should be all sad. Really, Dick? If you're the financier of that thing, you're like, well, Dick's not really tied to this, right? We got an understudy ready to go, right? How important is Dick's connection to this movie? Because I don't think I'm ready to go to check this yet. Dude, look at, look at, look, pull up. Go back, go back, go back.

Look at the logo for the Dick Van Dyke show. That looks like it's from 1896. Look at that thing. The guy who starred in that is fucking alive. I'm just impressed it's not written in pencil. I can't believe it was even like on the air. It's a Polaroid of a pencil sketch. Holy shit.

Dick Van Dyke. He's the last greatest. He's the last living dick. You know? He's like the last great dick. The last great American dick. Him and Danny D. Shit, man.

Unbelievable. I got big news okay um next next month this show's awesome yeah next month we are officially uh our our next live show will be on 420 and we are officially sponsored by august 21st uh april 21st We are officially sponsored by 3Chi. 3Chi is now selling prepackaged cookies. Oh, wow. They're really doing it, huh? They are 50 milligrams. So to put that in perspective,

the gummies are 25 milligrams each, and they tell you to eat half of them. So the serving size for this cookie is a quarter of a cookie. You cannot put a cookie in front of me and tell me to eat a quarter of it. You can't put anything in front of me and tell me to eat a quarter of it. This is actually weird timing. Guess how many cookies I had yesterday.

Give me, yeah, I mean, that can mean a lot of different things. What kind of cookies are we talking here? Honestly, a variety. Big, small, baked, bigger, baked, bigger, baked, or like from a package. A, small, baked. Bigger. Baked. Bigger. Baked or like from a package? Baked.

A threesome? What? No, I threw some Oreos in there, too. You also had a threesome. You must have really needed to recharge. The Centurion Club in the airport is quite nice. The threesomes happen there. What is the Centurion Club?

My friend had an American Express. That's all it takes. He was talking about it all weekend. Big buildup. He was like, when we get to the airport in Denver, we're going to go to the Centurion Club. My friend had an American Express, that's all it takes. He was talking about it all weekend. Big build-up. He's like, when we get to the airport in Denver, we go to the Centurion Club. They have showers there. I don't know what that means.

When you landed, you were going to take a shower? No, when we were at the airport yesterday. Got it. It was just like a lounge. They just served drinks. It was really basic. Did you take a shower? No.

Could you have taken a shower? Could you have taken a shower? Not because of, an animal? Could you have taken a shower? Not because of COVID, but yes, I did see the showers. It's a weird thing to do. Very odd thing. But anyway, I had eight cookies there. Eight cookies. That's what the story is.

I ate. The only thing that stopped me was pure shame. But I almost took down a whole bag of Oreos, double stuff. Like the whole thing. Three sleeves. Because you know what the problem is? When you use that fork,

you do that regularly, the whole bag? No. I've never done that in my life. Oh, you looked at me like that was like light work. No, that's success.

That's a problem. Yeah, that's wet work. Because you put the, when you're using the fork to dip, so what I do is I just stab it, I put it in the milk

and I just leave it there. And then i just pop the whole thing like it's a bite so you know when you if you sit down and have like a meal how many bites do you think you take a meal 25 i was gonna say 30 25 30 so 25 30 cookies done so i just had a meal of cookies it's too many cookies too many it's far too many cookies what do you think's the like what do you think is a proper amount of cookies in one sitting ah man did you feel like eight was too much well yeah but they i mean they were big far too many cookies. What do you think is the, like, what do you think is a proper amount of cookies in one sitting? Ah,

man. Did you feel like eight was too much? Well, yeah, but they, I mean, they were big. That's the problem with Oreos.

They're fucking tiny. I would say one, one column of Oreos is what you can have. Yeah, I had three. After that, it gets to be a little much. They're just so good.

Once you start the second one, you're like, all right, back to the top. Like, that's, oh, man,

that was so bad. A bit of a moment. I did that twice, John. I did that twice john now the three chi cookie it looks like a good cookie too it's like it's like a chunky chocolate chip like a a high quality like look at that son of a bitch oh mama wow yeah yeah they're really all in oh three chi 3C Canna. Follow them right now. At 3C Canna. What they are is, well, it used to just be gummies and vapes. You got the gummies here.

The cookie here. And then it has the vape. It has the tinctures. So it used to be like you can put the oil in to bake your own edibles, which is a great idea in theory. But you got to really be dedicated to the cause to do that. I'm not going to do that. They just did it for us. So now we have the cookies, and it's got CBD in it for all the medicinal purposes. So you get rid of your anxiety, get rid of your restlessness, get rid of your chronic pain, yada, yada, yabba, yabba.

And then there's the Delta 8. Delta 8 is THC. It's special THC. It's super THC. That gives you all that euphoric feeling of like marijuana with none of the drawbacks. So you're going to get that high. You're going to get that tingly feeling. You're going to be laughing and goofy and happy.

And it's all legal. It's all safe. It's all regulated. And it gets delivered right to your fucking door it's i just i gush about it every time because it's like i almost feel like imagine if we this is like if we you know we were like we had we were this podcast was like a hundred years ago and like after prohibition ended and they're like there's alcohol you're like there's a sponsor you know i mean this is like a game-changing product and service that we are like at the forefront of because three chinos to get down with the right people it's that's absolutely spectacular it's it's pretty

good so it is you can get your three chi right now uh when you go to threechi.com and use the promo code kfc2021 you get 5% off your order. You got to be 21 or older to buy it. So go to 3Chi, the number 3, C-H-I.com. It's also delicious. Promo code KFC2021. Oh, yeah. I'm actually very excited to have the cookie because the gummies,

they're too good. I'll say it. They're too good. I mean, we do this with our hair gummies. I mean, I do melatonin at night. I'm like, can't have too many of those. They're too good. I mean, we do this with our hair gummies. The flesh and slimy. I mean, I do melatonin at night. I'm like, can't have too many of those. They're dangerous. But the cookies, I mean, the cookies might be dangerous, too.

What if the cookies are delicious? I'm going to want to eat the whole sleeve of them. Can't do that. I'm going to need to have, like, backup cookies on deck, you know? Well, you know what we should do is maybe get a plate of cookies, some are normal, some are not. We'll spin it and play roulette. Oh.

Oh, I like the idea of that. Probably not allowed to do that. But it's fun. It's a fun idea. 3chi.com, promo code KFC2021. Also, I would imagine you get on some 3chi and you open up that notebook and you start going, see what comes of it. The notebook gets.

The notebook. We are officially in capital capital n territory it's the notebook and i ain't talking nicholas sparks this this little book of wonders this is like indiana jones's book you know he always had a little notebook where he's writing down like the secrets of the world like things such as i keep waking myself up farting oh yeah i forgot that was on the live show i forgot about that last live show, John was giving out his secrets. In his book, he writes down bits and like, hey, we should do a segment on this. Or, hey, here's a thought that I had.

Sometimes it's work, like business stuff. Like, you know, here's an idea. Here's something for a segment. Here's something like a punchline of a joke. And then sometimes he just writes down things that are happening to him. And the latest one was quote verbatim i keep waking myself up farting it's a true story and then my favorite part so john holds it up and we zoom in on it and i posted it on instagram it's like this is you know if anybody ever wanted

to know the secrets of podcasting here you go and then beneath it is like tomato bread knife well okay y'all ain't ready for that what is the tomato bread knife okay so the question i wrote let me just try to think of what that could be in your fucked up brain it's like it's not honestly none of it that's not attributed to me at all so that that was the answer to my own question the question i was gonna ask you and basically everyone in this room, is where is the weirdest place you've gotten a useful piece of information that you continue to use? Ooh.

Mine is, the answer is here, is it's the movie The Hunt. Remember that movie? Vaguely, where they hunt the girl after that engagement. Is that it? No, that's... That was Adam Brody. They both came out at the same time. I could see the see the confusion there's something sort of hunting humans it's yeah it was like rich people get okay whatever yep and at the end of that movie there's a fight between two women

and one of the women walks in and she's cutting a tomato and she says something to the effect of people don't know that a bread knife is the best knife to use when you cut a tomato. And I still to this day use a bread knife when I cut a tomato because I'm like, well, thank you, The Hunt. Well, I was going to say, I mean, yes, you did learn that. Like how often do you slice down tomatoes? I guess when you're doing it. All the time. Doing it all fresh, baby.

I cut tomatoes every night, I think. Like a serrated knife is the best? Yeah. Yeah. Get through that skin that's that i was like i don't know how it's that piece of information and then dessert desert is my other one my second grade teacher said dessert is spelled with two s's because you want two of them and that's like the other weird piece yeah i mean i got a lot of spelling ones like like definitely somebody told me to definitely if you spell it definitely that that sticks with me um um i don't i don't get that one just like just put fine in there i just know how to spell finite d oh definitely okay okay uh like wed nest day

wed nest day we're just saying pronounced words but that's the only the only things that stick with me are like tricks to spell things but the The only things that stick with me are, like, tricks to spell things. But the real tricks don't stick with me. Because they don't work. Like, I before you is, like, the before is before this, before that. Well, that doesn't apply here. That never works. That's, like, the month thing.

Oh, I don't know. What was the month? Like, 30 days has September. I have no idea. You can just say that, you know? 30 days has December, April, June, and November. As long as the embers rhyme, that's it. I have no idea how that one works.

I can't think of the origin. It might be my dad, to be honest. But one thing, righty-tighty, lefty-loosey has been the most important thing that I've ever probably learned. That's probably true. And I learned it was righty-tighty, lefty-loosey, gases go up, solids go down, paydays on Thursday or something like that. There's an extended version of that. Oh, I don't know any of that. My dad might have just made that one up.

There was a couple scientific things in there. But I feel like righty Tidy Lefty Lucy is... This is all the information you'll ever need for your life. It's in one drive. Righty Tidy Lefty Lucy, Payday Thursday. Basically. Righty Tidy Lefty Lucy has been a really important one.

Oh, yeah, that's what it was. Righty Tidy Lefty Lucy, hot is on the left, cold is on the right. Guesses go up, solids go down, payday is on Thursday. And I don't know if he just made those other ones up, but that was another good one. Hot and cold being on the left, cold is on the right. Guests go up, salads go down, paydays on Thursday. And I don't know if he just made those other ones up, but that was another good one. Hot and cold being on the left and right. One of the hotels, not the hotel,

Airbnb I stayed at this weekend, didn't have that, like the HC in the shower. And I was just like, I don't even know how to shower. I was at a shower, I was showering at this girl's place and I, I turned it on and it was freezing fucking cold.

And I was like, just waiting and waiting and waiting. And like, I was like, I guess I'm having hot water. So I took like an ice cold shower and I got on. She was like, Oh yeah.

Our, our left and right. It's like backwards. Goddamn dad. You ruined it. I knew that too well. Maybe I would have thought. I don't know.

Maybe they have the cold on the left. But, yeah, I'm happy you learned that about your tomatoes and your bread knives. Yeah, that's it. You would have just been like just messy tomatoes everywhere. Yeah, I've tried with a regular knife. Squishes it. It's a whole mess. There's got to be something in movies.

I'll have to think on that one. What's the best piece of information taught to you in like a weird – A random place. Like teachers will teach you things. Right. I think my dad taught me those. You're supposed to do that. He wasn't busy learning my fucking middle name.

He was teaching me about science. But what's the stupidest piece of information you learned? The best piece of information you learned in the stupidest spot. I like that one. Anything else in your house of horrors? Sure. Okay. Podcasts have made fame too easy.

Too many people are famous given information who don't. So this one stems from, and I guess it actually really wasn't a podcast that made her famous um it's flannery roads and she had a thing john no it was not the podcast but she has but she has a vehicle it was it was the rubber ducky and the strawberries and the tub of milk i we always i'm always very clear with things. I'm like, do not take advice from me. I don't want to talk about rights. But other shows, I think, legitimately offer advice. And hers was that crying is exceptionally unhealthy and you should never, ever cry.

And I was just like, that's just not true. That's just not right. Like she's telling she's telling a bunch of people. It's just like she's like, you should never. Did you cry? You shouldn't. Like, don't ever do that. She's like, she should just write it in a journal instead.

That's what's going to make me cry harder, Lana. Like, if I start writing down my feelings, I cry even more. That might be the worst advice I've ever heard. The worst piece of advice ever given. I don't cry. I suppress it, and it inevitably comes out in a fit of rage ever given. I don't cry. I suppress it. And it inevitably comes out in a fit of rage. Yeah, I'm not a crier.

If I steadily cried, I would love it. I wish I cried way more often than I cry. And even her co-hosts on the show were just like, I don't know if you should be saying that. And she's like, no. You guys need to grow up and stop crying she i saw like a clip of her the other day on some interview they said what's

your biggest flex ever and she was like i dropped out of school in eighth grade and i'm worth millions god god damn i was gonna say she's had three dicks in her butt but that was pretty good too that's a pretty good flex if we're talking actual flexing it's probably the butthole thing what's your biggest flex ever my asshole the muscles in my asshole eighth grade like early eighth grade i'm gonna say it's too early you can drop out of like high school you can't drop out of like middle school you gotta make it i don't think you can drop out until college yeah like as a college dropout i think college is the right time to drop out you should make it through high school if you drop out in in like your senior year

because you have something going like what if what if somebody came through here and was 18 because we've had plenty of people drop out of high uh out of college and that used to like scare me i used to be like i think you guys should finish school. And now I'm like, no, yeah, it's fine. If someone was not finishing high school, I think I'd be like, you can't, at least here, you can't work for our team. You can work somewhere else in Barcelona. I can't have you drop out of school. You'd have some real dad instinct kicking in.

I think I would. I'd be like, you have to have a degree. Like, you know, like your middle school one doesn't count. Like you have to have a diploma of sorts. A real one of sorts. Not like, you know, one you get when you're in kindergarten. Would you let Jackie work here if she didn't graduate high school? sorts. Not like, you know, one you get when you're in kindergarten. Would you let Jackie work here if she didn't graduate high school?

Yeah. I don't even know what Jackie does. So, yeah, I'm sure she could probably do it. I used to really. Jackie does promo clips and produces a show. I don't know what a producer does. I don't know. They got one of the greatest rackets going. I don't know what anyone does.

I don't know what anyone does except me. And I do the worst work. We don't do any of that. I do the least work. We just talk. Yeah. That's where it's getting. Oh, I had an idea.

When I'm, if God willing, hopefully one day I'm rich and we're set. And like, let's say we one day have like a full business enterprise going where like whether it's with barstool or away from barstool like we're just good and we know we find let's say we finally get over our self-esteem issues and we know that we are a a like we're running a good operation here i've since we started doing this on like promoting the youtube more i i gym a lot you look at the camera. You're like, let's see. Yeah, that's like, I don't know about that.

Maybe we're operating in a fantasy world. Because as you said that, like the fame stuff about podcasts, like I see other podcasters that we follow, and I'm like, they made it. Like they're fucking famous. They're like popular. They're, you know, whatever. And we have like a way bigger following than some of these people.

And I'm like, they're famous. We are not. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with us? I don't know. What is wrong with us? I don't know. We don't have time for that.

I mean, seriously. We all know what body dysmorphia is. There's got to be psychological dysmorphia, right? Yeah, depression. Depression, right. Yeah, yeah. That's called depression. Yeah, it's super diagnosable yeah it's like i in my mind we are abject failures it's crazy but i would like to if uh because this all stemmed from i watched oh i'm all over the place right now i need to uh i need to print a retraction

if you will okay the laurie laughlin uh send them all to jail thing yeah i i was very upset about that being like these people don't deserve to go to jail i don't necessarily think i still don't know if they deserve jail time but that whole racket was way deeper than i thought there's a netflix special on it right now called like like, it's just called, like, The College Admissions Scandal or something like that. I mean, it was a deep, deep operation. Why? It was, like, one dude who's at the head of it

who, um, I don't know how he did it. Who even? That whole thing blows my mind. Bro. Like, I would, like... He was almost my college advisor. Really? Really? Is that how you got into usc use the side door no i didn't i got in because i'm like so so there's one dude i think his name is like richard king or something like that um king huh dick king dick king

dick king uh he he started out as like a real he's a real asshole he started out as a real asshole. He started out as a college advisor. He used to show up in gym teacher and coach attire, like windbreakers. Because he was like, I'm coaching you. I'm here to coach. You are a fucking asshole. Then he would just make you pay money.

He would say, you can get in the front door, which means you just get into school. You can get in the back door, which means you donate to the, to the school, a fat check. And then like, they may or may not look at you. Or you can use my side door, which is far less than the back door donation. But I guarantee you will get in. I didn't get far enough in this series or the documentary to know how he does it. He must like blackmail people or some, some shady shit.

But it was like millions upon millions of dollars and they would like i didn't i knew that they faked being on the team but like he would photoshop pictures of them and then like in like like rowing water pool water polo so they had this kid and what's really funny about this documentary they had they they wiretapped their phone conversations and then they had reenactments so it's like me and you just like our script was the phone what a gig that must be but it's also that but it also they hired bad actors i think um actually it was all no names and then the one guy was the bad guy from wandavision he was in it i was like boy you must have done this

right before you did one bad guy from one like he guy from WandaVision. Like, he was in. The FBI agent? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I was like, you must have, like, done one last bad movie before you made it. But you can tell that they're just reading, like, transcripts of a phone conversation. But he, like, there's a picture. He's in his pool at home. And the dad's taking pictures of him, like, jumping out of the water, pretending to throw the ball. And at one point, he was just in the shallow end, standing up.

And the guy was like, nobody has ever been that high out of the water during water polo. This picture's never going to work. And he's like this scrawny little kid who never played water polo at all. And they photoshopped his pictures into – And it cost like – so he was like, you could donate like $50 million to Harvard and like they might, they might let you in. And like he, I'll get you in guaranteed for like 500,000. But it was this whole operation. You're talking about USC, right?

Apparently it's hard to get to USC. Is it? I mean, Jackie got in. How could it be so hard? Excuse me. I know two kids who went to USC. Two of my dumbest friends. Well, they're out of state, obviously, if you know that.

I heard it was one of those things. USC is a really good school. For what? For academics. For education. That's about as bad as the answer you can give. I'll give you cinematography, film school maybe. But I don't think... But people say the same thing about like University of Florida.

Florida's a great school. Fuck off. Come on. It can't be that good. You know what's crazy? In the beginning of that documentary, they do a montage of kids getting into school. So they have like these kids who film themselves about to like check the website. And it's like Dukeke nyu columbia and

then there was one kid for a fordham with his whole family behind him and he's like yeah yeah brother did you visit it i was gonna say is there like a new fordham i don't know about are you like uh we're talking like fordham law school like maybe are you like into the arts and you're going to lincoln center because if you're going to Fordham, Fordham. I think I'm probably pretty jaded because I didn't finish college, so I don't think college matters. It doesn't. But I would never.

If my kids are going to get to USC, I'd be like, okay, so you're going to go to a different school. Yeah. The thing that I was taking away from that documentary is just how much it's still, like people are still so stupid about – and it's all parents living vicariously too. I feel bad for these kids. They don't really care. It's all the parents being like this is your chance.

But did you know that the word prestige in French, it's like where the word stems from. It basically means deceit. It's all just like, yeah, it's like prestige. Like, yeah, it doesn't really matter. It's all just like – Oh, really? Yeah. I like't really matter it's all just oh really yeah i like that right that's my new one better than bread knife i mean i just can't believe there are still kids out there and families out there who really think it matters it's like how many more billionaires and like you know super smart people do you need to see that i mean they're definitely the minority.

Most of them work at 7-Eleven. Some of them are Mark Zuckerberg. But I mean, it just kind of goes to prove that like you inherently don't need it. You know what I mean? Like you, I'm not saying you're gonna be a billionaire, but like if you pick a trade, you pick a focus, you do that. So my idea, if I'm ever confident and successful, is I'm going to do an anti-college scholarship. I'm going to pick one lucky kid, and you don't get to go to college.

I don't fund you to go to college. Oh, the Warren Buffett. No, he already doesn't? Fuck. No, he did it with his kids. Here's the money you would get when you go to college. I think he offered all his kids 100 grand. My idea was kind of like you come work for me for those four years, and I guarantee you'll be better off than if you did four years in college.

We should definitely do that. The anti-college college. It will not work out well. That sounds like the plot of a movie that would have like Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and like Jay Baruchel and Seth Rogen and all those guys where it's like, hell yeah, he's our anti-college student. And he just works around smoking weed and all that shit. But like if Seth Rogen did that right now with his weed company, you know, I'd rather go four years at Seth Rogen University and learn all about like selling cannabis and shit.

See, I wouldn't be able to teach anyone anything. But that's the thing. We don't teach. We just do. And they'll just just pick it up. Yeah. Nick, you learn anything from us? I was actually thinking that.

I've learned shit from this podcast. This is probably the weirdest one. I remember, and it's a health tip of anything that stuck with me. Probably not true. No, you guys said at one point, you know when you're working out, you haven't been working out, and then – Wait a minute. Hang on. It's a workout tip?

No, no. You haven't been working out, and then you sneeze, and it feels like you're having a heart attack. Your arm goes numb. And I'm like – and you guys were like, oh, you just have to go for a run for about a week, and then that clears up. I was in college like – None of this is true. No way. I know.

I know. It's like, you know what stuck with me? A totally false thing. I'm. It's like, you know what stuck with me? A totally false thing. I'm sure there's plenty of that. Have you guys learned anything from this, from us? For sure. Wait, have you learned from this podcast, or have you learned anything from your short time here?

I've been from the podcast, yeah, like before. Anything that sticks out? I'm trying to think. I mean, like, probably the reason I'm here, I guess, is probably, like, one of John's mental breakdowns. Yeah. That's more like broad-stroke type stuff.

Like we taught you, like, life doesn't matter, that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure that. Again, you're gonna be way worse. I mean, I'm doing all right, but, well, relative.

It's relative. No, I'll try to think something. Did you learn anything from us Jackie no I think like when I listened to it like I listened to it

like when I was younger and like how young were you when you started listening to this guys like I mean it was like

senior year college to freshman and then like wait no no no senior year high school senior year high school to freshman and then then like... Wait. No, no, no. Senior high school, you mean. Senior high school to freshman. Okay.

And then I was like, like guys kind of scared me. And then I like listened to you guys and I was like, oh no, like... Oh, they're just... They're kind of like dumb. Like... That's a good tip.

That's a really important thing that she's able to like talk to guys. But also guys should scare you. Yeah. Also they can't be so silly. Most of them aren't like us. They will kidnap you. I would think that if you ask that question To everybody, to the audience

Which we should do Maybe tweet at us How about you tweet at us Comment on the YouTube Comment on the YouTube This motherfucker knows And the most interesting thing that we taught you, we'll get a free Maryland Bitcoin shirt.

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most important or effective or interesting or thing that's stuck with you that we've ever taught you and i i would bet that it's much more like broad stroke shit like like i always told people like uh in the corporate world like don't be the guy who like comes in early stays late never takes vacation and always just like will do anybody's bitch work like be you know have like a backbone and be like, no, because I think you really do get like more respect than – now that's not to say like tell your boss to go fuck off if he has to do you to do work. But I think if you treat yourself like the office bitch, then like you are the office bitch. But I can't think there's any like tangible specific things that we teach people.

No, absolutely not. But I can teach them right now. I learned it yesterday. Oh, boy. So I get to the airport yesterday, landed in LaGuardia. And when I land in airports, I think I've said this before, I don't do the fucking Lyft stuff. I don't do the Uber stuff.

I just get a cab. Yeah, that's one of your weirdo things. If there's a taxi line. Sometimes it makes sense, but sometimes it doesn't. So yesterday I get in the taxi line, and this woman is, like, get a cat. Yeah, that's one of your weirdo things. If there's a taxi line. Sometimes it makes sense, but sometimes it doesn't. So yesterday I get in a taxi line and this woman is like announcing to everybody. She's like, just so you guys know, this is a 30 minute wait. If you get an Uber, like it's five minutes and you have to go upstairs for that. So obviously it's immediately out.

And in my head, I was just like, where are you home or there? No, LaGuardia here. Yeah. There's the upstairs, the downstairs. or there? No, LaGuardia here. Yeah, there's the upstairs and the downstairs. Yeah, yeah. And LaGuardia here. No, not the LaGuardia in Denver. But, and in my head, I was like, she's just lying. Like, she doesn't, she just doesn't really deal with a lot of people.

Like, she had a ton to do to maintain this line. It would be a good line. I was like, she's just lying. It's going to take five minutes. About 45 minutes later, I'd seen – You're still on that line? Yeah, and I'd seen a shitload of cabbies pull up. Not a soul, not one of them was wearing a mask.

I'm not a mask guy. I don't really – If I see someone not wearing a mask, I'm like, why are you being a dick? Just put your mask on. But I'm not like – I'm not going to say something about it, right? My cabbie pulls up, no mask, right. Opens, open the trunk for me.

I put my skis and shit in and, uh, and he's like, where are you headed? I said, uh, you know, I said my address and my cross streets.

And he goes, the way I said it was, you know, like how you would say, you know, not like a, I was thinking of the W and here, like,

yeah, it just said where, you know, 21st and seven. Okay. There's a number. I couldn't think of any numbers in here. They just said 21st and 7th. Okay, there's a number. I couldn't think of any numbers. And he's like, ah, you're from here. Thank fucking God.

I was hoping it wasn't going to be a fucking tourist. Wait, that's a thing still? Tourist in Manhattan? And so I was immediately like, okay, he likes me now. We're kin. And so I didn't want to let him down. And we – oh, you know what? So he asked me.

He's like, you want to take the tunnel? You want to take the bridge? I was like, actually, let's go Brooklyn Bridge. And he's like, ah, fucking smart. I was going to take you to the tunnel. I was like, okay. I just threw one out. I don't know.

I was going to say, you don't know what you're talking about. And then we get over the bridge. I was like, okay. I just threw one out. I don't know. I was going to say, you don't know what you're talking about. And then we get over the bridge, and he goes, hey, just so you know, if you want, you can take your mask off. And, like, someone who tells me I can take my mask off, I'm like, I don't. No, that means no one's under my safety off my gun. I'm like, why? What do you have planned? Because I don't want to let them down because we had this connection.

So I just made up an excuse. And I was like, man, I've had it on for like 12 hours. It's like part of my face now. I didn't want to take it off. I was like, what mask? I don't know what you're talking about. This is my face mask. I was like, I've been wearing don't know what you're talking about. This is my face mask. I was like, I've been wearing it for 12 hours.

Everywhere's got all these fucking rules. It's fine. I'm just used to it. And he's like, all right, all right. And then there's a lull, right? About five seconds. And he goes, going to get the vaccine? And I go, I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get it.

He goes, ah, all right. I was like, I clearly have to ask why. I'm like, why? He goes, well, what blood type are you? I said, I don't fucking know, dude. I have no idea what blood type I am. That's another piece of information that we should have picked up from our parents, by the way. Yeah, I couldn't fucking tell you.

Cut into my head. Couldn't tell you my kid's blood type either. Like, God forbid I'm ever in a tragedy. But can you give him the universal thing? I don't know. What are those? He goes, well, if you're type O, you don't even need it. You're already vaccinated.

I said, like, really? He goes, yeah, you can Google it. I was like. So in his world, nobody with type O has gotten corona. Don't need it you're already vaccinated it's like really goes yeah you could google it i was like so so in his world nobody with type always gotten corona don't need it don't need it you're already vaccinated is there like even a shred of truth to this like maybe typo i'm gonna be honest i did not follow up with the google but then he goes and type a if you type a you're gonna die what because yeah everyone who's got everyone type a who's gotten the vaccine ended up on a ventilator and dead i was like i just i just don't think that's true man because google it go ahead google it i was like dude you like i don't i don't think i believe you man like i just don't i don't think dude, I don't think I believe you, man.

I just don't. I don't think I do. I don't think everyone with type A blood has fucking died from the vaccine. Blood type O has lower COVID contraction risk and organ complication. Hey, I don't know, John. The study says. The study says. Science says it.

Go ahead, Google it. If science says. Science says it. Go ahead. Google it. If science says it, then it's got to be a thing. Type A might be increased risk. But this isn't vaccines. I'm reading here how different blood types affect. Nope, this is just the coronavirus. And this also relates to the fucking.

Like, I shouldn't even be saying this into a microphone. Because some people are going to think it's true. Despite the fact that we're laughing about it and saying it's ridiculous. I don't know. I heard on KFC radio you die if you get the vaccine. This isn't true, everybody. Don't listen to this.

It was a fucking cabbie. It was an anti-mass cabbie who told me this. It is downright irresponsible for me to be saying this into a microphone. It really is. The power that we wield, man. The power that we wield is far too much. Far, far too much power.

Don't cry. And if you type A, don't get the vaccine. Unbelievable. This show is all over the goddamn place. All right. Can I tell you one more thing that my dad taught me sure red sky at night sailors delight red sky at morning sailors take warning

so if I'm ever you know sailing I'll know to prepare myself for fucking you know war excursion is the Nina ready okay red sky this morning. We'll wait for tomorrow.

That also like, I can't imagine that's real. Right? No. It's like, I don't know, there's clouds during fucking sundown. We're fucked. Also, another thing I know, if you ever fucking fall overboard, you take your pants off, you tie knots in the bottom and you catch all the air

turns into a flotation device there you go Kevin, when was the last time you were even on the water? I don't know, my dad taught me this boat shit not very often not very often but listen, if I'm ever out there and there's a red sky in the morning

and then we're fucked, I'll know. I'll know how to create a flotation device, John. This is a thing I have written down here is just. I was in Colorado this weekend. I went skiing. It is hands down the dumbest hobby of humans. Skiing? Yeah.

I've been saying this for years. I can't believe you guys do it. It's nuts. It's such a production. It's so expensive. You potentially rip your body apart. At best, you're super sore. At worst, you break your bones. I'm going to do math. You go up and down. Who cares?

Who fucking cares? Okay, let's say I skied a half day Friday, full day Saturday, half day Sunday. Let's say I did seven runs Sunday. I probably did seven Friday. There's 14. I'll give myself, I did 15 on Saturday.

So that's 29. It takes about six minutes for a run. So 174. What's 174 divided by 60 to so 2.9 hours is about what i paid about three grand maybe it's the equivalent of when people say there's seven minutes of action in a football game that's what that's what three3,000 for 2.9 hours of mild fun i think it was i had a good time i can't believe you enjoy skiing i i i really really praise ski guy right no i i'm actually enjoy going down the mountain i'm quite a good skier and i'm like i really really like it but it's i like those six minutes. And then I have those six minutes of fun, and then I stand in a line for 30 minutes, and I'm furious the whole time.

And then I get on a lift with a stranger. It feels like the most, like, archaic thing that we do. Like, it feels like dumb. You know, it feels like a dumb hobby where it's like, we go up the mountain, and then we slide down it. And then we wait on line, we go back up, we slide down it again. Sometimes I hop in the air.

Sometimes I turn around. Sometimes I wear one ski, sometimes I wear two. I snowboard. I snowboard. And it's never because it is like an upper class fucking hobby so they can just make up prices.

Skiing, like the price to go skiing has make up prices. Yeah. Oh yeah. Skiing, like the price to go skiing has gone up like four times in my lifetime. Zero upgrades. No. Same exact.

There's like, the fucking lift is in this warm fucking. No, it's probably the same, literally the same one they made.

It's not the fucking like cabana where they serve me a drink inside. Right, right. I think when I started skiing like when I was a kid, it was probably like 50 bucks for a day pass. Right, right. I think when I started skiing when I was a kid, it was probably like 50 bucks for a day pass. 200 bucks now.

Yeah, it's crazy. No reason. There's been literally zero upgrades in the sport. Do you think, like it's weird to me, I think you're all dumb, that's what I think. I think I'm smarter than all you guys, and that's why I don't do these things. Sure, probably.

Like the extreme sports type shit, it's like you just get off on going really fast. Yeah. Like, it's weird that we still like there's some sort of adrenaline and some sort of happiness and like dopamine associated with like you go down the mountain really fast or you get pulled by the boat really fast or you, you know, like whatever the whatever the sport that we're doing is. It's like, oh, it's like, tell me about it. It's like, like I said, well, I went to the top of the mountain, and then I went really fast down it.

You know what I mean? It's almost like you feel like as you, as society has gotten smarter and progressed and shit, that we would be entertained in more sophisticated ways, but there's still just something about people like, I want to stand on something slippery and go really fucking fast down it. You know what I mean?

That's white people shit. Yeah people it's like like i forget what i'm sure there have been many black comics have done it but like there's one in particular that i remember who i don't remember who said it but it was just like it's like white people need to do this shit yeah that's just day-to-day life right i might die they just need to yeah they need to experience some sort of rush because everything else is just so fucking easy all the time. Like ice skating too, though. It's like I'm going to wait in line and pay all this money and then put on these shoes with knives on the bottom just to slip around on the fucking ground for like an hour. It's like, okay, these are all so stupid. It's literally very, very fleeting moments of fun. Like, my buddy was trying to – my buddy who I went skiing with is – you know, he's a dad.

He's a toddler. And he was just like – we were just, like, talking at dinner on Saturday night, I think. And I was like, yeah, I'm, like, not going to have kids. He's like, dude, like, come on. Like, you can't – like, you wouldn't have fun, like, carrying your kids' skis and, like, teaching them to ski. I was like, bro, you're describing my least favorite parts of this. I was going to say, that is not the pitch, man. Like, what you're saying, like, those are the parts where I'm like,

maybe I'm just going to stop skiing because I hate the parts you're talking about. And you're using it as a selling point for a child? That's a really – anybody who wants to try to convince you to have a child, don't you want to carry your kids' skis? Yeah. It's like – Don't you want to wipe the shit out of their ass? Oh, no, no no no but you'll dude you will love when you gotta pay tuition yeah you will love it it's awesome it's fucking awesome like this there's like these are the worst selling points of all

time where it's like i mean literally they're like when i'm doing it i'm just mumbling cunt the whole time like oh you fucking, you fucking cunt motherfucker. But then you get to the top and you're like, wee! I'm like, this is fun! For six minutes. And then it's like, this is fucking stupid. You are that TikTok. That TikTok when the dogs are like, wee!

You know what I'm talking about? No. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, that's just John. He's like a golden retriever just going down the mountain. Wee! Woo! You're a simpleton.

Would you rather in a weekend since – let's say because you said it's like two and a half hours of time. It was 2.9. Okay, so almost three hours. Roundabouts. Would you rather have a normal weekend and you watched like the best movie you've ever seen, like a two and a half hour movie that's like, wow wow that was like the best movie i've ever seen or go skiing in like colorado probably go skiing it's stupid yeah it's dumb yeah but like oh i know this okay like i fucking yeah i got you go skiing colorado again like beautiful like let's say the most you know the best conditions all that shit or you watch fast and Furious 10 that weekend.

10? 9? 9's not out yet, Kevin. Really? I thought we already had 9. We've done 8. 9's coming out. Fast and Furious weekend, it's premiere weekend. You can buy it on demand for $30. Oh no, I want to be in the theater for that.

So perfect ski weekend, premiere weekend for Fast and Furious. Probably ski weekend, premiere weekend for Fast 9. You would miss the premiere of Fast 9 to go skiing? You've gone skiing like once since I've known you. I go ski every year. I probably only ski like

five days a year. But I go ski pretty much every year. Instead of seeing Fast 9? Because I can watch it on Monday. Wow. It is stupid. Again, it is stupid. The fact that we like skiing is idiotic.

I bet there was a collective gasp on the podcast listeners right now. Everybody went, what? Like most of my decisions, it's not the right one, but it is just what my gut tells me to do. What about if there's a premiere of a brand new Ryan Gosling movie? Is he in Fast 9? Well, then. If Ryan Gosling is in Fast 9, what happens then?

Come on. You got to go see the God Gosling. Yeah, probably. We're doing top five Ryan Gosling movies today for no reason at all. For no reason. We were trying to come up with like, should we do a top five on spring break, on March Madness, on

this, on that? Nothing. We're doing a completely unrelated Ryan Gosling movies, which is a surprisingly big catalog. So I think it actually ended up working because I was like, okay, I can't even think of five Gosling movies. Then I started thinking about it. I was like, oh, okay. So top five, because you know what? I think we would be buddies with Ryan Gosling.ling you think so i think we would get along with him

i mean his dog's got a mohawk so yeah probably yeah i think he's a cool cat i think uh we could sit down and have a miller light with him and like he could kick it and we could watch we could like talk about i don't know why because he's canadian do you like canadians canadians are pretty cool pretty nice people never never never met. I also feel like when you're an actor, like, when you're an actor, couldn't you just always act and be cool? Yeah, you're just lying the whole time. Yeah, I remember when we interviewed Mark Paul Gosselaar,

he was like, you know, that's, like, I'm not Zach Morris. I was like, why not? You can clearly just be him. He's super fucking cool. Like, make him you. So same thing with Ryan Gosling. He can play some cool cats. Like, just be that guy guy and then we'll be fucking friends you know we'll be buddies so he could sit down and crack open some miller lights and enjoy it with gosling you know

who else we can sit down and drink some miller lights with is our buddy coach dougs dougs had himself a night lambing dougs uh every time we we somebody pointed out you would it would be on dougs and we would cut to someone else giving a point. And it would cut back to Doug's and his beer was gone because the man loves him. Some Miller lights as do I, as does Ryan Gosling. You can,

you can take that to the bank. It's an official statement. Ryan Gosling loves Miller lights. That should be your next, it should be your next slogan. Miller, another false topic you learned on this podcast. I think we have to technically say it's not true.

Apparently not, but probably. He probably does. He probably does. Yes, because he's a Canadian. He's up north. This is brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where you know they know how to brew beer the right way. And they figured it out. They cracked the system.

They cracked the code. You can have a great taste Miller Lite that's only 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original Lite beer can get delivered right to your door by going to MillerLite.com slash KFC. Get all the delivery options near you. Have them sent right to your front step. Celebrate responsibly with the Miller

Brewing Company from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Go to MillerLite.com slash KFC. Alright. Top Ryan Gosling movies. I feel like I've stolen first pick many times in a row, so calories 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces go to miller light.com slash kfc all right top ryan gosling movies i feel like i've stolen first pick many a time in a row so you can go first okay the nice guys oh okay good the nice guys is hands down it's one of the more underrated movies it's but it's it's not it's one of those we say it's underrated but it's not yeah it's it's under nice guys is the uh the adrian beltray of movies we've just been saying for 20 years he's underrated it's not yeah it's it's under nice guys is the uh the adrian beltray of movies saying for 20 years he's underrated he's not underrated he's properly rated it is you know

he's a hall of famer yeah we know not enough people have seen it but it is a 10 out of 10 i think actually recently uh lights camera barstool like reviewed it or whatever and i think jeff and and ken jack had it like in the 90s, I think, a 94 and a 96, maybe something like that. And I was like, those are too low. It's 100 out of 100. It is as good as a comedic duo as there is of all time. I'm going to go good. I'm going to go with what probably would have been my first pick.

Much like I was just saying, just act like this guy and be cool. Crazy Stupid Love. He is so fucking cool in Crazy Stupid Love. The way he dresses, the way he acts, the way he's like kind of subtle with chicks. I mean, it's just, I want to be him, you know? If there's a guy to strive for. It is unfairly cool. If you were trying to really strive for all that is man, and it's like not like to be like Vin Diesel in Fast and the Furious.

It's not like, because being like the best guy is not about just being like a meathead who's strong it's also about being kind of cool it's also about being kind of emotional all that shit the way he dresses the way he acts the way he is with girls the way he is with guys the way he like everything is like what you want to do right that that first night with emma stone when they don't have sex, I'm like, perfect night. Perfect. Like, every line kills. Everything kills. It is a smooth night. Yeah. He is, I mean, and on top of it, he just looks like a fucking stud.

It is. I think, what does Emma Stone say? Like, oh, come on. Yeah. Incredible. All right. You're up. All right.

Number two, I'm going to go with gonna go with oh man there's so many like under the radar really good ones so i'm actually i'm i'm not gonna take one intentionally and i'm gonna give it i'm because i think you're probably gonna want it i'm gonna give it to you i'm gonna take fracture if you like if you were leaving something for me You probably should have left me Fracture Oh really? It's amazing The first time I ever watched Fracture Was when I was

Visiting Florida State with my mom And we were sharing a hotel room And I went out I think I was talking to the club hockey coach So I went out with a couple of the club hockey guys and came home, came back to the hotel drunk as hell. But, like, I was still young enough where I don't really tell my mom that I'm drunk. So I was just pretending to be sober.

And you said you watched that movie? And we watched Fracture. No, no, no, no. Me and my mom watched it together. Oh, oh. And I was like, it was so good, it sobered me up. I was like, wait, this movie is unbelievable. I got to snap into it.

He's like a lawyer and Anthony Hopkins. He's a prosecutor. He's a prosecutor with, I think, I don't know if it's a perfect record, but like 97% or something like that. Right. And he's up for promotions, and they're like, don't take this case. And he's like, no, it's my last case. Because then he's going to go into the private sector or go into defense attorney and all that stuff. Right, right, right.

And they're like, the big law firm he's going to go work at, if you lose this case, you're out. And he's like, no, I'm taking this case. And there's all sorts of grimy, dirty shit going on, right? Not – I wouldn't say there's a ton of grimy shit. It's just that he's like, he's just got Anthony Hopkins killed his wife and he's got to prove that he did it. Right. They can't find the gun.

Right. Like there's no, but like Anthony Hopkins never left the house. So they're like, how the fuck did he kill his wife? He's never left the house. Right. But he did no weapon.

Like, yeah, I'm going to rewatch that like tonight. Cause I know it's good, but I don't remember. Maryland game. Yeah. Okay, my next pick is

going to be what's that one called? Hang on, it's on the list. I don't even know the name, but I know it's dope. I can't remember. It's a weird... The Place Beyond the Pines. Oh, good one. Great one. Now that is underines. Oh, good one. Great one. Now, that is underrated.

That's, yeah. That, like, not many people know about. I think that because that was, like, a small release. I don't think it was, like, a major. I think it was, like, an indie flick or something like that. It wasn't, like, a monster. I don't know if it was a small release. I don't think he was who he was yet.

And I feel like it was, like. That's where he met Eva Mendes. That's where he met his wife. Yeah. Bradley Cooper's in that. What a couple they are. Bradley Cooper's in it? bradley cooper's in the place on the lines um oh yeah yeah yeah yeah wow maybe maybe i'm wrong then i mean that's that's a bomb squad cast so i i thought i remember hearing i thought i remember that being like a a little thing but um that was one of the wilder

rewatch because i remember being like this is some intense shit like it's it's a good movie that's it's actually still the only time i've ever seen it i went to go see that the day after two days after maybe the marathon bombing and during the movie my phone kept vibrating non-stop in my pocket and i was there with a girl i like so i I didn't want to, like, be rude. Yeah. And so I was just ignoring my phone. And then we walk outside, and, like, Boston is just shut down. And I was like, what the fuck is happening? And I finally take my phone out of my pocket, and the manhunt had started.

Yeah. And it was, like, it was the night before the plane was really shut down. But, you know, we went to see, like, a 10 o'clock show and came out. Right. It was the manhunt was on. And that's when I came home, and we were all on a Zoom together. It was manhunting and stuff like that. But that was that night that I saw that.

Dude, have you ever heard of a better? If someone said to me, like, yo, tell me about what's it about? This is the movie info on Rotten Tomatoes. In upstate New York, two men and later their sons must deal with the unforeseen consequences of their actions I mean you can say that about like any movie like a family does things and then

stuff happens because of it and they must deal with it every movie that's ever made men do things and then react great alright you're up alright number three another I'm going like I'm going deep cuts Men do things and then react. Great. All right, you're up. All right, number three.

Another. I'm going deep cuts. Apparently. Number three. A Perfect Murder. No, Murder by Numbers. Wait, no, A Perfect Murder. No.

Murder by Numbers. Murder by Numbers. Yeah, with Sandra Bullock. Yeah. Unbelievable movie. I feel like I don't know that movie. Oh. But I know that movie.

You know what I mean? It's him and what's his fucking name? This really like he's a weird looking dude. You would know him if you saw him. Ben Chaplin. Is that his name? Michael Pitt. I mean, I'm looking at him, so I know what you're talking about. He's got that stupid haircut.

No, it's Michael Pitt. Yeah. And it is. The body of a young woman is found in a ditch in the woods of small California coastal town of San Benito. A tenacious homicide detective, Sandra Bullock, and her new partner, Ben Chaplin, uncover a tale of shrewdly concealed evidence that links two brilliant young men, Ryan Gosling and Michael Pitt, to the murder. It is. Very dope movie. Unbelievable.

I'm going to watch that one tonight, too. Have you guys seen Murder by Numbers? Unbelievable. We should do a Gosling-thon. Unbelievable. I'm going to watch that one tonight too. Have you guys seen Murder by Numbers? Unbelievable. We should do a Gosling-thon. Just non-stop Gosling all day long. It's a really... I can't even talk about it because the twist is so fucking good.

It is unreal. 10 out of 10 movie. You left me with some choices here. I'm going to take the Blade Runner movie. I haven't seen it. I'm glad you said it because I knew people were going to get mad if it wasn't on the list. There's one more that we have to take at some point. Which I haven't seen either.

I know. That's what I was going to say. You have to take that one too. I was going to say I'll take that and that will be fine. But it's funny that neither of us are big fans of that movie. We're like two gay balls who should be. But Blade Runner is like three hours long. It's obnoxiously long.

Let me get the exact runtime. I think it's obscene. But it is, if you are into, it's Jeff Gillo's favorite movie of all time. Yeah. It's two hours and 45 minutes. It's literally his favorite movie ever. The only clip I've ever seen of it, I don't think there's any previews the only clip i've seen is that kanye one where it looks like it's snowing but it's just oh oh yeah it's just snowing on the screen but it's it's one of those it's visually like a perfect movie if you're into

that sort of shit the effects and the whole thing but it's it's it's a cool like futuristic uh you know the the world like a dystopian great jacket love a good jacket a great jacket and it's it's like i think it's the only i would say the only movie of its kind where it has harrison ford it's it's blade runner 2049 because it's it's like the sequel to his blade runner har Harrison Ford from like 1985, whenever that came out. Usually those movies like don't work, you know? And I think this one like did. It's like usually when you try to, is that Anna DeArmas in that? Yeah, she's in it too.

Yeah. Anna DeArmas is such a fucking rocket. You know, usually that idea is kind of like, it doesn't work. It's almost like when they did Coming to America 2 just recently and everyone was like no it's i haven't i didn't even tweet about that right it checks the box and you're like okay that was cool but it wasn't like what it was supposed to be this is that as far as those and then like for sci-fi nerds it's it's that shit so i'll take it okay so i'm on number four yep my number four i'm gonna go remember the the Titans. Ah, see, here's the thing. Is that, you know, I mean, yeah. That's a Denzel movie. Yeah.

But Gosling also, Gosling's a pretty. He has a role in it, but it's not. I was thinking, like, can we take this or not? Yeah, it's on the list, but it's not a Gosling movie. It is. I also have resentment for that movie because of how many people steal the tweet that Ryan Gosling was a liability of cornerback. People are always like,

just remember Ryan Gosling was a liability of cornerback. Shut up. You didn't fucking come up with that idea. That tweet's been a viral tweet for 10 years in a row. It came fucking out. I will say, as much as that's not a Ryan Gosling movie, very few people could play. He's perfect as Sunshine.

There's not many guys who have that look or have the stature of it all. I'll allow it. My fourth pick here? Yeah. Since I know what my fifth pick is, I got that in my back pocket. I did not really care for La La Land.

Oh, shit! Fuck! There are like three other movies I want. No, there's a lot of good movies. Wait, I'm dropping it. I'm doing an unprecedented move. I'm dropping River of the Titans. Dropping it.

Adding the big short. I don't know if I can allow that because I was thinking I was going to pick that. Okay, fine. Then I'm adding La La Land. I love La La Land. Fine, I'll take La La Land. Drop it. It's done.

It's off the list. You're out on Remember the Titans? Out on it. That's more of a Hayden Panettiere movie than it's a Ryan Gosling movie. I'm offended I even said it. The thing is, are we picking just good movies or are we picking Ryan Gosling movies? Because if you're going to drop it all together, I might pick up Remember the Titans, because Remember the Titans is an awesome movie. It's just not a good Ryan Gosling movie.

Okay, fine. Pick it up. Fine, you take it. I got Lala. I think in that case... See, I got too offended. I got too obsessed with going deep cuts. Yeah, you did.

You got to play the hits, bro. I didn't play crazy in the poker. It's crazy. You got to play the... I'm going to just then then gonna have to take i'm gonna take remember the titans off your hands you can have you can have lala land and big short i can have them both right that's what you wanted So we had a trade happen. Yeah. You can take – I'll give you those two. Okay.

But I get to have six movies on my list. Oh, wow. Yeah. So you can have a top five, but I get a trade. Okay. So my top five will be one, Nice Guys, Fracture, Murder by Numbers, Big Short, La La Land. And I'm going to add – and I don't remember any of mine already. I'm going to add Crazy Stupid Love.

Oh, I kicked your ass. I got Crazy Stupid Love. I know I have Blade Runner, but one before Blade Runner. What did I pick before? Great Place on the Pines. Pines. So Crazy Stupid Love, Pines, Blade Runner. I'm going to take, I'm going to take...

I'll take... Remember the Titans off your hands. I get... Drive. Fuck. And I get... Notebook. Goddamn.

Yo, Godzilla's a fucking killer, man. Because, you know what we... These are 11 fantastic movies. And what we left off, we missed. There's a big one. Where was it? Where's the big one that we missed? You got La La Land.

You got Nice Guys. There's two. Where is it? Gangster Squad? I don't know that one. I haven't seen that one. You got Fracture, right? I got Fracture, yeah.

You know what's not a good movie but a great topic? All Good Things is the Robert Durst movie they should redo that movie after the jinx came out now that the jinx came out and people know that story and shit they could redo that

I also think he was too good looking to play it too it was not Robert Durst it's very very much based on him ever said... It's not Robert Durst. Right. It's like very, very much based on him. It's Robert Durst, but it's not. They're not saying this is Robert Durst. Right. There was that one.

And then... Is Blue Valentine a big deal? Blue Valentine's a good one. Blue Valentine was in a movie I watched with a girlfriend. When it came out, and I was just like, we should break up. We both experienced that trauma together. Let's just, we're not going to get over this, are we?

Yeah, man, he's got Diesel movies. Diesel movies. Pleasure to do business with you, though. Yeah, I love that. Unprecedented moves. Nice draft action there. We should start doing trades like that, where it's like, I get the number one pick, but you get, like, two and three or something. Yeah. When there's a it's like i get the number one pick but you get like two and three or yeah when there's a clear cut like number one pick that you want by the way shout out to i mean tommy and and hubs at one point owned like four teams in the

in the blog folio tournament did any of them make it no they did because they got oral roberts taken away which went to the girls and then they made it but the girls took that team and made it which i would have been fucking bullshit about but then they then one of their other teams did make it. So they were like, okay, we're good. But if one of my teams got taken away and I was the only team that made it, oh baby, I'd be fucking furious. All right, so tweet at us your top five Ryan Gosling movies.

And now let's get into our, what? All the gambling guys overloaded the elevator. The elevator stopped moving and said overload. Look at this. Overweight. We got to fucking overload. They are literally too fat to transport. It's a 2,000-pound limit.

Who's in the elevator? Marty, Glennie, Don. I'll put this clip in. Poor Jake Marsh is like, really, guys? Who's that? Nick Mulcahy. Okay. Don.

Who's that back there? Jack. Oh, Jack Mack. TJ. Oh. TJ, Glennie, back there? Jack. Oh, Jack Mack. TJ. Oh. TJ, Glennie, and Don are going to work there. Yeah, they're carrying the lion's share of that overload. How about air balls this weekend?

You see him getting off the ground like a full six-inch vert? It was amazing. Loved it. How about at one point, did you see him rub his belly? No. At one point, he just pulls his shirt up and just starts like a nervous tick. Like there was like 10 seconds left and he's like, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Like the Pillsbury Doughboy, like rubbing his belly, like rubbing to make a wish or something.

Okay, voicemails today are brought to you by Revitalite. We are in the middle of March, brother. That means we had St. Patrick's Day. We've got the tournament. A lot of March birthdays that I know. I feel like a lot of parents are doing some fucking in, what is that, June? June the year before? Did you see Sales Guy's tweet?

Oh, yeah. Horseneck Beach. That's right by my parents' house. He was like, shout out to my dad for crushing my mom 40 years ago back in the day. I said Horseneck Beach. Probably the South Coast League in Massachusetts. Horseneck Beach probably like probably the South Coast League in Massachusetts. Horseneck Beach is probably in the league in Conceptions. Can you believe that Gaz is like a human that has like parents?

Like he was conceived on this earth. Like he's not just like an animal who came from a cave somewhere. And his dad's the fucking man. His dad's awesome. I don't think I've met his mom, but his dad's the fucking man. Does he have siblings? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. They must be. That's a weird thing. So anyway, yeah, I feel like there's a lot of shit that goes on in March where you're going to be doing some celebrating. You're going to be doing some drinking. And honestly, I could just drink this straight. This is just a good drink.

Very good. It's just a good. And very, very useful. Yeah, man. It is. It hydrates the fuck out of you. It truly works. Like, forget about, okay, yes, it's the hangover drink,

but also, like, when you're older like me, and everyone says, like, you got to drink your water, you got to drink, like, your body weight in water, and, like, oh, your body hurts, and your brain hurts, and your fucking, like, eyeballs, and your heart hurts, you're dehydrated. Everything is you're dehydrated. So just stay hydrated, bro.

Speaking of, like, hydration, the, it is very funny how very funny how people are like, oh, you have a headache? Water. Yeah. But also it's funny how it works. Like, fuck. I drink the water. I'm like, damn it. I remember this weekend we were like, so obviously it was a very quick trip.

I got out there Thursday night, came back Sunday, and we had some altitude sickness. I have a sunburn like it's I'm so close to the Sun like it is it was 14,000 feet up she's 13,000 feet like that's that's half the height of a plane yeah I'm really really high up that is nuts so were you feeling like you couldn't like really breathe oh yeah you can't like you like I mean like where I was skiing I was fine when I'm hanging on the couch i'm fine but like the two things i really noticed one going upstairs two putting on my boots like it is like really really breathing but so i googled

like what like what can i do to be better at this and tip one was have at least a five-day trip so you have time to adjust yeah and tip two was don't drink alcohol. And I was like, all right, so there's one. I mean, so there's one. So no solution. So we're just going to hope for – we're going to do five-day trips. That's it. I'm out here for three days, so there's like no solution.

But, yeah, I mean that dehydration shit really is is the truth and so you can drink revitalite uh when you whether you're just getting old and you need to hydrate or if you're trying to get over that hangover you drink it before you go out and party you drink it after that night and you drink it in the morning and it is the the three-prong attack to fight off that uh to fight off that hangover. It's now also available in the barstool store. So you can head over to the barstool store. You can get your sad boy gear.

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doing the best is those saint patrick's day like the next weekend where it's like oh my god Revitalite. You want to party for the final, you know, for the last couple weekends where you're doing. The best is those St. Patrick's Day, like the next weekend where it's like, oh, I've got to see St. Patrick's Day again. It's like it just keeps going. St. Patrick's Day until March is over. So as long as you're drinking, you've got to be drinking Revitalite. Okay, so go to the Barstool Sports Store. Be sure to get yours today and use a school promo code at checkout and get 10 extra votes for that school going towards the barstool best bar competition. So when you're checking out, there's a spot for the code,

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It's a question hypothetical here. If you can only listen to one song from each decade that you've been alive to play for the rest of your life, to listen to, what would it be? So we get 80s, 90s, 2000, 2010s. 2020s. 2020s. So we have five songs. So we've been alive in five decades. I was going to say three.

But it's like, no. Man, that's a hard fucking question. Gut? I'm going to see when this one came out. Yeah, okay, perfect. 1986, number one. My 80s. Manic Monday.

I don't even know what that is. What is that? Manic Monday? Just another Manic Monday. I don't even know what that is. What is that? Manic Monday? What? Just another Manic Monday. Even I know what that is. That's my fun day. Yeah. Okay, so it's about a school shooting.

Yikes. Oh, wait. No, I'm thinking of two different songs. I'm thinking of... You're thinking of Pumped Up Kicks. No, no, no. I'm thinking of the... Tell me why i don't like mondays uh that is oh manic monday is a dope song i'm gonna stick with it perfect for you for

1986 what yeah no well the mondays thing no you know the off kid is like forget it it is a uh it's just the song my dad used to always play for me. And I don't know why. Okay, but it's by the Boomtown Rats. And it's a... Right? Is this the one? Let me listen to it real quick. But it was someone shot up a school. And she got interviewed afterwards by the news.

And they were like, why did you do that? She's like, I don't like Mondays. I don't know why me and my dad would always listen to that song. It's very... What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Jesus Christ almighty. So you're... All right, you're 80 songs about slaughtering children in school.

I wanted to go with uh i don't like my name tell me why i don't like and this is the song you guys all know no manic manic monday's also got a dope story behind it though manic monday was written by prince um and given to the bangles because he wanted to fuck their lead singer. Prince did. Yeah. And he just kind of like – What an honor that is. And then Manic Monday topped out on the charts at number two behind number one.

I forget the Prince song. I think it was Kiss. So he had both technically. But the first song was about doing ridiculous things for a girl. That's awesome. That's awesome. I love that. Man, I was hoping Scenes from an Italian Restaurant was in the 80s,

but that's 1977 because that's just my favorite song of all time, but I can't get that. 80s, it's going to have to be. I really don't like the 80s, so it'll have to just be another Billy Joel song from that era because that's the only thing I really like from back then. But I also feel like a lot of the Billy Joel songs I like then creep into the 90s. The 90s? God, I'm just going gut.

I'm not going on songs I really like or whatever, but 90s my gut marcy playground sex and candy i don't know why that's a very 90s pick you know like like like like the 90s you got your people are a lot of people probably pick like nirvana or like guns and roses you get the grunge going you get that that like marcy's playground is a very like it's not it's like what's a freshman the verve yeah it's almost like what are your favorite songs you know what the better what's the better thing is let's pick songs that represent the the that era okay you know what i mean so like if i'm thinking 80s i'm thinking like um um like some synth shit like the that song

or like Hey Mickey. You know one of those 80s songs. When I think of the 80s song. Bowie's 80s, right? Yeah, you could do 10 million Bowie songs. So that's why I don't want to go like my best. I'm just going gut.

That's all I'm going with. When you think of 90s, just gut. Just going gut. Just shooting from the hip. Yep. I like that. What's your 90s?

Like the Marshall Playground song? 90s, I'm going to go Sex and Candy. Sex and Candy. 2000s, what's your 2010s? 2010s, I'm going to go Party in partying the usa okay and that's 2020s 2012 it's gonna be a brand new song give me taylor song like that's it's gonna be something probably dorothea i i like that that that's the kind of the better way to do it though like defining the the decade decades are so long man if you think about something that's made in 1990

and the last song in 1999, you know, 1990, you're going, it's like old music, kind of, and 1999 into 2000 is like, new music, man. I wonder if it was Country Grammar.

Yeah, Country Grammar was definitely 2000, right? Like, 2003-ish, yeah. Okay, yeah. Big, big album. People don't realize, man. He went diamond. Did he really? Yeah.

That album went diamond. Like, big, big fucking, saw uh dragonfly jones was was tweeting he always does a great job kind of like tyler just like tweeting the discussion but somebody said jay-z is like the most popular rapper ever who was never the most popular rapper ever at the time and you know people somebody was laughing like uh because someone brought up nelly and they were like like jay-z because someone brought up nelly and they were like like jay-z's not better than nelly and it's like no he's not like better than nelly but in like 2002 i think it was country grammar was like it and in like oh three it was 50 cent and you

know there's always there was always somebody who spiked higher than him yeah but all the while he's been like the most kids and i don't i actually don't know if i believe that like there was a run when he was doing like hard knock life yeah i would say like big pimp but you know that might have been i'm trying to think of just like the other like like in the early days like biggie was bigger than jay-z but i think like right after biggie's death when he was putting out like volume two which had like his first, like kind of like commercial money in a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Volume two had that.

And had like money, cash hoes. And can I get a, yeah. And, and hard knock life. Like that was probably his most commercial hits album. So I think that was probably,

I think that would be the time where he was definitively like the best, but all his other times, there was always like some flavor of the moment that was really like blowing up or like or he was killing it but like down south started to pop so like little wayne was bigger but he was you know shit like that so it's an interesting thought that he was never actually the best all the while being the best i mean the best meaning you know most sales or most popular whatever he had dragonfly always talks about too not always but i do agree that he's very good at like having discussions on twitter i just say things and i just get mad at people yeah yeah like he'll have like i try to quote

tweet my replies because i'm like i'm trying to talk to like everybody i don't want to talk to just that one person i'm trying to like keep you know the discussion going so i think he does a lot of that too where he quote tweets the the reply to be like let's talk more furthering yeah to other people yeah but he i think he one time had a thread about um about drake where it's just like it's weird that if you ever asked like someone you know like oh like is drake like a well-respected like great rapper and almost everyone would be like now yeah he's like kind of like like, nah. He's been doing it for 10 years. He's been the number one rapper in the world for 10 years. And people still don't respect him like that.

Jared and Dallas were interviewing Al Leiter's son, Jack Leiter. What kind of music do you listen to pre-game or before your start? And he's like, I like to go old school with it. I'll put on some Drake and Jared. And then we're like, oh my god. That's old school? That's on Jack put on some Drake and Jared and then we're like, oh my god, that's old school?

That's on Jack Leiter. That's ridiculous. Drake is still one of the best rappers. I think he meant he'll put early Drake on, but the fact that Drake's been around long enough to have... I just said 10 years. It's probably 15. His first shit was like 09-ish?

08, 09? Yeah. We're talking like 13 yearsish? 08-09? Yeah. So we're talking like 13 years almost? I don't know. Whatever the math is there. But yeah, there are... That's like when I'm like, I'm into some new rap.

I like Childish Gambino's album. It's like 2011, dude. You asshole. E coming on her face is still one of the greatest. That whole album is loaded with such... What does he say? E coming on her face now that's poetry in motion. That whole album is loaded with such E coming on her face. Now that's poetry in motion. Yeah.

So fucking good. And there's so many good – he has so many good puns about being black and Asian with black and yellow and like eyes of different types. It's all very good. Tweet at us though. That's a good one. Your best song, your favorite song, and also what you think embodies each decade that you were alive in next up hey what's up guys i just got some brutal news for people who live in utah um should a bill pass they will start selling all cell phones in the state of Utah with a built-in filter

to block porn. So my question to you guys is, if one day you just woke up and there was just a widespread ban on porn, what would you give up to get porn back? Would it be some amount of money, a physical thing, whatever? Would you justifiably give up to get back to beating your dicks, I guess? So is this just specifically on the phone or are we just not talking – let's just say porn is gone. Because first of all, that is crazy. That's some Mormon shit, right?

Yeah, but it's also not – it's just not happening. It's not going to happen. But the fact that there's even somebody trying to push for that, it's like god damn. It's their governor is pushing for it. Because he's just like a crazy religious zealot, like a Mormon. I would guess so. I honestly don't know. Yes, I would imagine so.

But let's say porn's gone. But it's like even like that law. They did that in India, right? Recently there was some country that banned porn altogether. Really? There was like riots. Or they tried to. I mean, there was some country that banned porn altogether. Really? I think there was riots, or they tried to. I mean, there would be riots in the streets. You want to see a real revolution?

Ban porn. Yeah. I'll fucking... I mean, God, that would be terrible. I'll show you a Capitol storming. I'll be out there in a goddamn fucking Davy Crockett hat, shirtless, fucking... What would it take for you to protest? I think it'd be porn.

Take away my porn. I wouldn't. I still wouldn't. You know why? I double wouldn't. Because you can't be the guy on TV. Give me my fuck movies. I gotta get my anal sex.

You're a real fucking pervert. In theory, I would support them. I'd donate to the cause. Am I going to get on a train? Probably not. I'll have to Venmo. I'll Kylie Jenner that shit. I'll Venmo a few dollars.

I feel like porn is so important. Porn's underrated, bro. Porn's underrated? Yeah, porn's underrated. That's what I'm going to say. I think porn is actually important. I feel like people learn how to have fucking crazy fun. Have you ever learned stuff from porn yes really yes i've i don't think i've ever done

something where i'm like i saw this in a porn i want to do it bro okay you've done that i don't know why like that's you know okay you're right and that's a super important one man that is one of the craziest things that i learned through porn that apparently like not many other people did but we all can do it you're like come on i mean i know you know i know you know that i know that you know that is you can do that to anybody and it works and it's fucking bam all of a sudden you're a porn star and the only reason i learned that was and it's not even like i learned that because i saw it in a porn i learned that when it was like the instructional porn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's how to do it. Yeah, it was a how-to. Yes. And it fucking – it's the most – out of everything I've ever like YouTubed, how to fold a fitted sheet, how to fucking cut a tomato with a bread knife, that was like how-to. Step one, do this. Step two, do this. Step three, it happens.

It fucking happens. So I think that's important. I feel like it's also important for chicks. I feel like girls pick up more on how to do things in sex. Guys, it's tough. It's like have a fucking 30-inch dick and last for like three hours. You either can or you can't. Go in and out.

A lot. Many times in a row without pretending that it slipped out or like going down on her in the middle of sex because that's normal. How to fake cramps is my most important YouTube video. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Hang on, hang on. Switch, switch, switch.

I need some water. I need some Revitalite. Give me some Revitalite. I'm dehydrated. No, no, no, no. It's my foot, it's my foot. It's my foot. Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Okay, we're good. We're gonna, ah. Okay, we're good. We're going to get that. Okay, we're good, we're good, we're good. We're almost off again, we're good. I got to thumb it in. So I think sex, clearly, porn is seriously important. So I would, if there was a dollar amount, let's say you had to pay for porn which that's almost like gambling when they legalize gambling and they're

like the state of you know Pennsylvania made like 600 million dollars a weekend yeah because people gonna pay for it if they could tax and and make money off of porn I think it's something you just have to add it to your to your expenses yeah if there was like like if you had if

it was another streaming service you know it's like i pay for netflix i pay for this i pay for that what if all porn was under pornhub like you couldn't do anything else somehow they'd control that and they were like it's you know 9.99 a month you'd absolutely pay 9.99 right so like so how much more could you know like 9.99 is what the other streaming services are if they were like it's 15 it's 20 it's 39.99 it's 59.99 is what the other streaming services are. If they were like, it's $15, it's $20, it's $39.99, it's $59.99. Like, would you pay $100 a month for porn? Yep. Would you pay $500 a month for porn?

$500 is probably pushing it. But, yeah, $100 without blinking. Because it is like, it's one of those things, it's one of those things you gotta... $100 without blinking. You gotta think about how often you use it. Like, it's kind of like television. Televisions are free. I don't know if people get that's it's kind of like like television televisions are free I don't know if people get that

right yeah they're like one dollar TVs are free yeah like they last forever yeah they're fucking cheap and you use them

non-stop all the time televisions are free I just leave my TV on all the time I walk in and I got the fish screensaver on it's just always on

yeah I never turn that shit off it's machine hours it's infinite like I use porn three times a day probably Jack's face is like what the fuck I don't ever turn that shit off. It's machine hours. It's infinite. Like, I use porn three times a day.

Jack's face is like, what the fuck? Sometimes I just hop on. I think that was like a doctor asking me how many drinks I have, and I'm like, I just fucking cut it in half. Yeah, it's about six times a day, actually. I'll be like, you know, open up Twitter, open up Instagram, open up Pornhub, back to Twitter. The second I see a Christy Mack post, I'm like, fuck, I gotta watch porn now. I'm compelled. I'm bound by this. I feel like you would, on your first night, you'd be like, all right, you know, I gotta get used to this.

I'd pay $500. I was going to say. And then on your second night, you'd be like, I'll pay the $500. Yeah. Like maybe one night you could figure out a way. All right, I'll just jerk off from memory. I got some nudes on my phone or whatever. I'm just not going to watch it tonight.

On your second night, you'd be like, I'll pay $500. I would be able to get. I'll tell you what. I'd get mine paid for. In the moment. By the girls, I'd be annoying. Can I have a nude? I'll fucking pay for your fucking porn.

I'm tired of taking naked pictures. I would love a crew of girls to unite and crowdsource it. Is John bothering you for nudes? Me too. Me too, sister. Hey, over here. I'm also. Five girls contribute $100 a month.

I'd be hitting elementary school girlfriends. Hey, it's John. Remember me? Anyway, what do you look like naked now? I would send over a text like, you can A, send a nude. B, contribute to my GoFundMe here. One or the other. I could be so annoying, I'd get it paid for.

I'd have my shit for free. You'd make a profit. I'm getting $550 a month. I pay for my porn and put some money in my pocket. Girls are sick of bending over in front of a mirror. You're getting that good good, huh? I'm not just getting those tits. Oh, nice boobs. I said I want a nude,

not your tits. Boobs? What am I, in fucking seventh grade? All right. Last voicemail today is brought to you by Sunday. If you want to make sure your lawn stays fresh, if you want to make sure you're looking good in the neighborhood. Shout out to what?

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Boys, okay, I have a question from a female just trying to get dick, really. Okay, how do you get to the stage? Okay, I guess really not get dick. But how do you get to the point of having a guy FaceTime you and you have conversation to then by the time it's the weekend, you get dick. Like, how do I get him to want to FaceTime me? Because I'm not about to initiate it. Like, I've expressed the fact that I would like to, but I'm not about to call him.

FaceTime? So, how do I get a... Like, the type of dude? Or is there any, do you have any tricks to trick them into wanting to FaceTime? Is this a young thing, Jackie? Do you FaceTime with guys before you hook up with them? Actually, my friends and I have the same thing. We're like, how do you get to the stage where you FaceTime them?

That's a stage these days? Date hotter guys than me is probably the only tip I have because I'm not FaceTiming you. I look like a fucking newborn baby why is he so swollen even beyond the look I'm facetiming when I'm like

in a relationship with someone but I'm certainly not doing it with like a hookup I'm not doing it literally unless are we talking about like that's the point is like you want like somebody you want like if you want to like make a step to be like a little bit more than a hookup, then you're like, how do we... Oh, see, I think there's steps.

I think that's the end. I don't think that's the, I think that's the final step. Yeah. It's like, I don't know, maybe get married? Even if you fucking married me, I wouldn't FaceTime you. To me, FaceTiming is like the final fucking vows. Like if, like I'm getting a divorce if we don't Facetime. I mean, if that girl, if she was like, I want to like Facetime, fuck.

And then you can get me on a Facetime, and then maybe afterwards we can talk. But I'm not going to. Even that. I mean, I'm down with that. You can do that to me. If you wanted to Facetime, you can do that to me. My little looks I have don't translate to a small screen. It's not.

It just doesn't work. It's not happening. It's not. Nothing. You got to know. My little looks I have don't translate to a small screen. It's not. It just doesn't work. It's not happening. It's not. You gotta know those angles. I don't know them and I don't care enough to put it in time so I just say bro like the very few times I get FaceTimed I just put my phone over. I just talk.

You can't see me. I don't. It's just now just talking on speakerphone. It is so depressing for me to see myself in a FaceTime. Yeah. There's, there's no, there's nothing you can do. I have, I have no help for you, voicemail. There's nothing you can do to get me on a FaceTime call. So there you have it, girls.

I don't know. What we do, and this is like, this is going to sound like so like high school or whatever, but it actually works. It's like, if you get all your friends around and then you're like hi like we're settling a bet and then like you like say something and you make something up and then from then on you start talking you start talking but that sounds so high school when i say that out loud that actually works i mean it sounds like a reason i have never felt older in my life where it's just like oh this is not like a stage we have to worry i don't know i just i'm like oh i i'm actually i'm so like old i would probably

just be like all right i don't know you want to facetime okay whatever not realizing that it's like a thing you know that she's sitting at home going like oh my god we facetimed i'm like uh i i would there's there's nothing there's i like it's one of those things too where it's just like like once we're so deep in a relationship i would i would then be like annoyed that that's an extra step i think everything we do isn't like you met my parents we need to do this in order for you to like feel comfortable in a relationship you need to fucking see me when you talk to me i don't even i don't even talk to people i don't i don't yeah no that's that's a big step that i i think the less I talk to you, the more serious we are.

Yes. Amen. Well, 100%. The less I talk to you, the more serious we are. The more real I consider our relationship, be it men or women. The less I talk to you, the more I like you. Speaking of women, we got one of the funniest female comics in the game today, maybe ever. Bonnie McFarlane's on the show, who is kind of like the queen

of comedy in my mind, right up there with all the other greats that we've interviewed recently over the past couple years. Wendy Cummings and Nikki Glaser and Eliza and the Girls Gotta Eat. She is top dog, and she's got a new special out, a new documentary out, talking

about it. So we sat down and talked to her. It's brought to you by Cuts Clothing, the only shirt to wear. And I mean that from a physical point of view. It's the only one that fits right, fits tight, fits like a modern, sleek look. I mean it from a style point of view. The only shirt I feel like worth wearing these days, a plain color style that that's fresh and sleek you know you know it's not loud it doesn't have crazy designs it's the only thing worth wearing these days you mix and match that with the right uh hoodie from cuts clothing and the right pants

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One more time, cutsclothing.com. How are we doing, Bonnie? Good. How are you guys? We're doing excellent. Thanks for taking the time. Well, yeah, no, we tend to lie when people say, like, how you doing? It's like, ah, we're doing great, we're doing excellent,

and really, it's pretty mediocre and very below average. As everyone, yeah. Yeah, right? I mean, that's, if you, I basically, I was gonna say, I basically think of it as either you're lying or if you're telling the truth and it's all great, then shut the fuck up because I don't want to hear it. You know what I mean? Now you're just rubbing it in.

Right. The only place people are doing well is Instagram. So thank you for taking the time i feel like um it's something i've wanted to talk to you for a while because i feel like whenever we do have uh funny female comics on you are like the one they all mention you're like really yeah i mean everybody everybody that we've had that you know are very very funny and accomplished in their own right uh always you know throw you out there as the inspiration or the the best or whatever it may be i try to be as mean as i can to all those little girls coming up so how are you gonna take on the guys if you can't even take on me i mean it is kind of true though right i feel like part i feel like

you got to be funny but you also have this whole other element where like you got to fight your way through it's not just you can be the funniest person in the world funniest girl in the world but you got to fight that extra mile to get there no well that you know there is it's it's not easy to be a comic so it's weird when people are so sensitive and they come into this field it's like i mean you have to at least like sort of put on some kind of hubris or something to do it. Like you can't, I mean, I've had women open for me before that. I remember this one time telling my husband,

rich boss legend. I have to say that every interview, but he, um, so I was telling him like the, the woman who opened for me, she cried after her set. And so while they were introducing me,

I was like hugging her you know i was like you're gonna be fine and he goes i can honestly say that's never happened with a dude right right that's but i'm not saying you can't be sensitive like you can be sensitive and have emotions but it is a hard job so it's like you have to learn how to manage those emotions you know i've certainly cried after sets you know um but uh only the good ones i'm not learning no um i i just think it's it is weird it is it is uh i i like to with all comedians when i first meet them is say something like sort of poke at them be provocative or you know a little

mean and see how they react because if they're funny about it it warms my heart it's like oh my god we've got one yeah you can take it right I mean that really is to me like like you said everybody's gotta be able to handle it guy girl like

young old new whatever like it's a tough ass Like you said, everybody's got to be able to handle it. Guy, girl, like, young, old, new, whatever. Like, it's a tough-ass business, so it's really not just that it's hard on girls. You've got to be a—let's call a spade a spade. Guy or girl, you have to be like a fucking sociopath to do your job. It's crazy. Well, you do—you have to put on some kind of, like, armor. You know, when I first started head headlining going on the road by myself and you know it's like a long weekend and especially if you're not doing well which totally happens

where you're you know like maybe even the audience doesn't know you're not doing well because they don't know they're not coming to clubs every night they don't know how it actually goes but you kind of know it's like a lonely existence it's like you gotta go back to your hotel room and try to figure out what you're gonna do different for the next night and then it's like that show is looming and you're like oh god here we go again with all these people with their cut off sleeves that i gotta try to make love it's it can be daunting because you don't have any friends you know you don't know the opener maybe or you know they're local they're doing their own thing it's it's um it's hard then you have to get up you know it's like you're right it's like you

have to like at least pretend to be a sociopath like i don't care man right who i am you know in in the preview uh for hysterical out uh april 2nd is some i don't know who it was but someone mentioned like being followed back to their hotel room. Oh, that was me. Yeah. That was you? Yeah. That's happened? Someone just pounded on the door outside? Yes. So I talked to somebody after a show and I thought I knew them and because he knew a

lot of people that I knew. But then it turned out that I didn't know him and he was kind of like, you know, there was a few red flags or whatever. I wasn't like sitting there, you know, I just was like chatting with someone for a few minutes after a show and I kind of got you know there was a few red flags or whatever I wasn't like sitting there you know I just was like chatting with someone for a few minutes after show and I kind of got a weird feeling and then I went back to my hotel room and I don't know how he found out what I didn't tell him I think he did ask me what hotel I was staying in I didn't tell him and I didn't obviously tell him what room I was in but somehow he knew and he was banging on the door to let me in so we could talk. And I just was under my covers, like, just sitting there scared.

Like, I knew my door was locked. But it's still a very, like. Well, that's what's. I feel like sometimes I hear, like, I'm not a female comic. I'm just a comic. Like, why do you have to differentiate? And I understand obviously where that's coming from, but also. Those are the flat chested gals.

But, but also I feel like you almost, I want to say deserve to put the female in front of it because like you go through worse shit, you go through more shit. Like that kind of stuff is not really happening to males. And if they do, it's not like I have to hide under my covers. It's like exciting. Like, yes, it works. Yeah. And I mean, and even like you described when you're on the road and alone, like, you know how guys are going to behave.

Like you go get fucked up or you bring some girls back to the room. All these things that like are kind of typical male behavior that I'd imagine it's that much harder. So while I understand the idea of like we should all just be judged on our comedy and all that, there is a difference. So like let's not be let's not like pretend it's not. I started in Canada and like we didn't even fly places. We just drove like, you know, so I would get in a car with someone i didn't know and drive for like eight hours and then do a show with them and then drive for six more hours the next day

by the way why do they not have planes in canada what are we why can't i don't know because it was so rural i guess there wasn't any planes probably going to a lot of those places crazy you know yeah that that yeah so it was weird i remember one guy like this was long enough ago that we didn't have phones but um i was reading the paper next to him and then he he was driving and he got really he was like you're just gonna ignore me and read the paper and i was like i've been on the road for like seven weeks you know it's like i'm sorry if i'm not being and then he goes he goes you should at least read me tidbits or interesting things that you come across hang on i completely

agree with you're just gonna keep that to yourself there really is if you're just reading and you and you kind of do the like you know like, like you're making noises, you're chuckling. Oh, that's interesting. Share with the class. Share with the class. I guess you're right. Recently, we had like a barstool like hockey tournament in New Jersey probably two weeks ago, give or take.

And someone, one of my friends drove out and he's like, oh, if you want to ride back with me, that's cool. We all started like a shuttle bus. And I said, dude, I'm going to fall asleep the second I get in the car. I'd be a terrible co-pilot so i'm just gonna get in the bus and fall asleep there because i would have felt bad not acknowledging i had a friend in high school who would get in the car and he put in headphones and then he'd fall asleep and i was

like this isn't how you co-pilot this is not allowed i know but it gets seven weeks though it's like come on and it wasn't like a weekend here. It was like, you know, you were like every night you were going somewhere else. It was like exhausting. That guy, too. So he got really mad. He had some anger issues, which sort of made sense later on. So we were at this, you know, it was like these Canadian bars and people didn't like him. He was wearing like a knit hat.

In Canada, we call them toques. He was wearing a toque in the summer. And so people were just like, what? You suck. Yeah. We're not dealing with this guy. And so he goes, I'll bring the girl back. And then they started cheering and I was like, okay, dude.

And so then he spent all his money on coke and um i could hear him in in the hotel room next to me like you know talking to himself and kind of like he we were gonna drive back that night and then he decided he wanted to stay you know and then um i heard him on the phone this was like you know thin the walls were i heard him call like tylenol the number on the bottle and ask if he could shove the pills up his ass because I'm not kidding. Because what? Because his throat was too sore to take a pill. I mean, to swallow one – I don't care how sore my throat is. I'm not shoving pills up my ass. Come on.

I was kind of curious to know the answer. I was like, what? By the way, don't do it. They don't recommend it. Could you imagine just that poor guy just has a couple little chalky pills just sitting right inside his butt like i'm not feeling anything and now i got my now my ass itches this sucks yeah that's nuts um where do you i've heard uh well first of all as far as like the female comic thing goes I almost feel like

you guys are kind of killing it right now I don't know if it's maybe more that we've been interviewing more and more comics over the past few years on our show so I'm more like plugged in but I feel like there's a ton of names there's the guy himself what's up Rich? this is the only reason I get podcast interviews

he shows up oh shit what's up Rich how? How we doing, man? It's Barstool Sports. What's the name of this podcast? This is KFC radio. I think we have you sooner. Maybe do we have him locked in? I feel like we've at least asked for you to be on our show.

You probably turned us down. Rich, what do you, we're talking about female comics. What do you think the state of female comedy is? Females have the world in the palm of their hands. If you can't make it as a female, you stink. You stink.

I'm telling you, you could be... If you're not married to Rich Vos. No, please. And that's Mr. Vos to you. Look, you know what? Get in the frame. I'm so... Here's the problem.

Now, and this is real quick. Everybody's grouping themselves, female comics, black comics, you know, what happened to comics with a lisp like me? You know, but here's... You're one of the biggest handicap comedians we have. No, here's how I look at it. Nowadays, there's so many

different avenues and whoever you are, if you create your own... They say, oh, white male comics are done. Look at Andrew Schultz. Look at this podcast. Look at the world. White males are never

going to be done. Look at this podcast. We'd be the only two. I mean, white males are never going to be done. Look at this podcast. We'd be the only two. Anyhow, you know, if you create the right thing, whoever you are, you're going to whatever. Yeah, the industry might lean right now towards minorities or females or whatever. But there's so many different avenues that I haven't found. Okay, I think you're going to go. Because the people with the movie are listening to this.

I don't know if this was the right choice. Rich, follow-up question. We're promoting the FX movie, Hysterical. Oh, I mean, but female right now, if I were to put my money on somebody, the female comics. Sorry.

He just told me to shut up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hysterical on FX. Listen, it's probably I'm sure it's a great movie that I'm male-financed. Goodbye. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We're comedians. He does not hit me. There's a line, okay? I don't know if it's his hands. They're tiny. That is so funny. Well, but he's, you know, what he was saying, there's some truth to it. Like, I've heard Whitney Cummingsmings said recently like you got to be twice

as funny to make half the money or half the success but then we've talked to like eliza and annie letterman people who have been like it's kind of a leg up in a way like they're not expecting me to be funny so when i am i i kill even more like there's kind of two different ways letterman no she's one of my best friends i i feel like uh i can see both sides of it but i would imagine overall it's it's more it's just another hurdle to kind of overcome you know it's it is like it's not black and white it's like some things help you some things don't sometimes you're right for the timing sometimes you're not it's like you know you know they always say like talent wins out. It doesn't always win out. I mean, there's also like talent that scares people.

There's talent that's more, you know, universal. It's like all these things that you have to deal with. And sometimes that that falls into, you know, you being female or you're being like, you know, a person of color or, you know, gay or lesbian it's it's really just pretty recently that that clubs have tried to make the comedy experience more diverse you know like making an honest effort like we're gonna put you on yeah yeah yeah because and then you know guys get mad about it they're like well but it's like there's you know for a long time there's sort of been this one kind of comic which was sorry guys a white guy and um the audience came to see that and people who might have wanted

to see something else just stopped going to clubs you know like when you look out into the audience um it's you know it's a lot of dudes with like cut off sleeves. I just want to put out there. We always have our sleeves on. I just want you to know what kind of guys we are. Team sleeve over here. Don't worry. I do a lot of Long Island. No, but it's like, it's like, you know, you're, you're, there's always like a Q shirt out there.

It's like a certain kind of audience that loves this kind of comedy and then you know so so other people don't do that well sometimes in those kinds of audiences and then people go oh well they're not funny well it's not that it's that there's like different kinds of audiences people and in in the club system it's still hard to break through if you're not like you guys. So do you do – do you try to like curate a different type of – can you do that? Like, I don't know, like ladies only or something like that where the crowd more is geared towards you? I've thought about it, but the problem with like a ladies only night is it's an event, and the people who come are not necessarily comedy fans.

They're just like, they want to whoop. They want like, you know, they're sort of into a different experience. It's like, yeah, you know. We got the sitter, you know. I don't know. I've thrown people out of my show for whooping. I can't take it. I'm like, that's.

Wow. I won't do that. Enough of that, bitch. No more whooping. One can't take it. I'm like, that's... Wow. I won't do that. Enough of that, bitch. No more whooping. One more whooping and you're gone. I'm going to do the no-whoop tour. Don't do it. The no-whoop tour. I guess it is kind of more like

Girls Gotta Eat is a podcast that comes to mind that they do live podcast events. It's not just like every weekend at the comedy club, but they turn it into their crowd crowd. They have like this, you know, they usually have dancers or something like a crazy opener or whatever, but it is kind of a curated experience for

you know, one, one, a one-off. That's a whoop show. They are, you're going to do the no whoop tour, they're going to do the whoop tour. But yeah, I guess as far as just like, you know, doing your 15 minutes at the club to gear, you know, just to get through the whole system. It's just never really going to be or it's not yet geared towards you at all.

Right. Well, also, it's like, well, I've done one of those shows, by the way, that where, you know, they were doing like, you know, they had sex toys on stage and they had feather boas and they were like really freaking out. And it was like in the day it was a daytime show. And then I came in and I was just like oh my god and then you know it's weird because it's like and then it's like i come on i'm like hey you guys never want to kill yourself they're like this isn't what we wanted but that's where i feel like you know that's where it does come back to like the the the comedic chops where it's just like the goods and the material and the and the set you have where it might not be the right vibe but it's like funny is funny at the end of the day too right right i

mean i guess i mean it is and it isn't i mean i i think well because like i look at like a hannah gadsby who i thought was really funny and and so many of my friends and, you know, a lot of male comedians sort of were like, that's not comedy, and, you know, really got upset about it. It's like, I don't know. I thought it was funny. I really did. I thought she said a lot of things that I had thought about for a long time.

She got very railroaded, too, by the fact that she came out right around the same. She went viral for the sense that like it was her review and the review for Chappelle's new special and I think it was the Rotten Tomatoes or whatever and the critics did not like Chappelle's new one and I think it was 100 for and people were just like screenshotting that

and being like come on really that's a talk about right but you know then Chappelle did the special where he was in the not a parking lot special, but, you know, an outdoor special. And, you know, it wasn't supposed to be funny. Right. It was very, like, deep. And but nobody was like, hey, that's not comedy. Right, right. Yeah, I guess it's more just the benefit of the doubt where they can do kind of whatever and still people will watch and you guys have to fall into a specific – Yeah, I think women do get sort of like – it's a harder – I don't know.

Who knows? I honestly have no idea. We'll know when we're dead I suppose. Look back and see where we've been. They'll be like, no, you just were like, like I think about it all the time. It's like, I watch a guy on before me kill. And then I go on and I feel like I struggle and I go,

I'm so much funnier than he is. I don't understand what's happening. Then I have to go home and be like, maybe you're not, maybe, you know, maybe you have an audience of one. This is you.

You know, I don't know. I won't know until it's all over. Well, you've also then got the, the podcast with Rich, which I think is I think doing a podcast as a couple is insanity. I think it's insane. And that's probably more. I was gonna say, I think it's probably more.

I'm projecting with some of the experiences I've had about if I were doing a podcast with them. But but you think it's crazy, too? I mean, it's it's just inherently crazy to do that. I feel I feel like you just saw like a little tiny bit of it. It's like he's insane. He's not he's not a good person. He's a bad, bad person. And I have to be the only reason I like doing it is because a lot of people go, how do you do it?

And I feel like I get some kind of like martyr. Yes, definitely. Yeah. See for sure. If you're looking for a pat on the back, tell people I do, I do a podcast with my husband, rich boss. Yeah, for sure. I feel like it's like, it's like couples therapy where someone's like, you can be completely

honest here. And you're like, well, no, I can't. No, you're not going no i can't don't you're not gonna trick me i'm not gonna people people always ask like does it help your marriage and i honestly don't think it does like like i you know i watch movies and stuff where they you know they'll have a fight and it'll be like somebody this person will say something cutting them that person will say something cutting them that person leaves the room and i'm like how does that happen like we have to keep going back and forth until one of us is bleeding on the floor like it's you know what i mean it's like we have to have our

hearts ripped out before it's over i don't know how people do that and i don't understand how that helps our marriage so lots of times the only thing about the podcast I would say is helpful. This is crazy, but we started filming them during quarantine and it's made us better, you know, because it's like as a couple or as like going out performers. Yeah, because we can see ourselves in the thing. And then we kind of, oh, ha ha. Like we're a little more jovial about it. You know, it's not like before we used to like go. I would cry on that podcast sometimes. And then I remember like being in the shower, just be like, we can't release that.

This is too personal and crazy. And then Rich would be like, well, you want to rerecord it? And I'm like, nah. That sounds like a whole thing. It's a whole to do. That's a lot. But with the when it's being filmed, I don't know. Maybe that is why people are religious.

Maybe that's like I'm not religious at all, but maybe it does help. Maybe you are a better person if you think someone's watching. Someone's watching? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like it's the opposite for me. I'm like, I got to make these people laugh, so I'm just going to sell out and say something horrible just to get the laugh, do whatever it takes. But that's me. That's that's that's that's when you're just like a talentless podcast hack.

There's a difference, you know? Well, that's I feel like that on stage a lot of times where it's like, I hope no one I know is in here right now. As I go through some of this horrible crowd work. What is the, so like, I mean, I feel like I've seen Funny Pains was another documentary. And you were in the one recently talking about the Comedy Store. Like, I feel like there's been a lot of documentaries kind of about comedy. And this one, this is on FX on Friday, April 2nd. I was in the Patrice documentary, too. Yeah, I saw you in that one as well. I've gone.

Can I ask you something about Patrice? We talked about it a couple episodes ago on our show. We have no experience. What's that? Can you hear all the noise? There's like my family. Oh, I actually can't. I think we're good.

I can't give you the charge. Okay. Okay. Bring it back. We have charger issues. Okay. Okay. Bring it back. We have charger issues. Sorry. Okay. I feel like the whole world has charger issues.

I never have my charger. I'm always looking for another one. And then Apple switches it up on you. It's like, God damn it. I'm never going to be able to charge this shit again. I charge. It just broke this morning before I was coming down here. So I had to take my daughter's and then she has school.

So I guess. School. Go get educated. so I guess. School. Go get educated. Just marry rich, whatever. With Patrice, we were watching just as, like, fans who probably, you know, I knew of him but really kind of caught on, unfortunately, after his death. All the comedians, everybody who knows him is like, Patrice was an asshole.

And I feel like, I don't know if the audience really, like, truly listens to that, where it's like all of them are like, no, no, he was really mean to me. He was really hard to be around. He was, like, really a jerk, but I guess he was just kind of that funny that it became endearing. But I don't know. It just sounds like sometimes the people in the documentaries

are always laying it on, like, no, you guys don't get it. He was tough. He was me. And then people are like, I loved him. It's not like they're saying it about Mitch Hedberg. They're like, I mean, they have to know a little bit. Yeah, I just feel like sometimes I hear the stories. I'm like, boy, that I don't know if I would even be able to laugh about that. That was really fucking mean.

I know. Well, the thing about, I think, comedians is that, or at least it used to be true. I don't know if it's still true, but the value, like, authenticity so much. And Patrice was definitely that. So when he was being mean, he was still being Patrice. I mean, I think Rich gets a lot of love just for that, too, because every single person who's ever met Rich hated him when they first met him, myself included. And then he kind of grows on you because he's just,

it's like, oh, that's him, you know? He would be that way whether, my cat's coming in now. Bring her in. He would be that way whether he was meeting the queen or you know yeah right i see but i i have friends like that but i don't introduce them to new friends right i'm just like i'm like no like i was friends with him in high school but he's you don't want to know yeah yeah well i i feel like that about rich like you know i did a lot of work with anthony bourdain and then um we did the New Jersey, you know, what was his show called?

Parts Unknown. Parts Unknown. Oh, yeah. When we did the Jersey, Jim Gaffigan texted me and was like, is it called Parts Unknown now? But so I did it with Rich and I was so nervous about them meeting, you know, because I held Anthony in such high regard. And I was like, oh, God, you know. But they got along great, you know. Because I think he's another guy who, like, values authenticity.

He likes real people. Yeah, and I feel like when those two meet, like, that's like, you know, those two type of people meeting together is like there's going to be some fireworks. There's potential for, you know, a lot to to go down what was that i i saw like there was a memoir that he wrote anthony that was like about your upcoming uh in in comedy or something to that effect or did i get that well i wrote a book that anthony was the he he did the forward okay got the book and um his company um was the the produced the book or whatever you call it how did you and anthony link up what's that how did you and anthony link up i did a roast for the um new york wine food and wine something where there was like a really big deal i had no idea it was going to be that big and it was um very fancy and it was like a really big deal. I had no idea it was going to be that big. And it was very fancy.

And it was like every chef you've ever heard of was either on the dais or in the room. It was like, it was so weird to, you know, because at that time, like chef stuff was really hot too. It was like everybody was like watching those shows and there was all those like. I feel like there's a lot, that's a lot of egos too if you're doing a roast.

Like, I don't know, it was, are they able to like laugh at themselves and laugh at that whole industry? Yeah. I mean, they were – it was fun. There was a couple other comedians I was – Artie Lang was on it too and so was Jim Norton. I think we were the only comedians on it. I don't remember. And then all the rest were like chefs and stuff.

And I went up really late I was so nervous I was just like what am I doing here and then I did really really well and he his agent came up to me you know when it was over and things were kind of going crazy and was like she said get in touch with me

and then I had to like do research find out who his agent was try to get her like I was like what the fuck get in touch with me and then i had to like do research find out who his agent was try to get her like i was like what the fuck he didn't touch me bitch but i sent an email i was like are you anthony's agent he's knocking on random doors so yeah so i just like i don't i do you know who i am i'm like i lay in bed until 1 a.m or 1 p.m like come on he was he was one of those types too though i feel like was like the ultimate like in just in culture of humor just like being right i mean linking up with him as you you were rolling with one of a kind for a while there well he so we went for lunch so the next week or whatever we went for lunch

anthony and i and his agent and when i got there anthony was already the bar like a couple in this is lunch okay now you're speaking my language yep and um it was funny because the he sat with his back to the kitchen door, but you could see, like I could see the chefs coming out all the time. Like people were like Anthony Bourdain here. Like you knew in the kitchen, there was some like, you know,

excitement going on. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. He didn't care or notice or anything, but yeah. And then he was like, I've never met a woman who,

you know, spoke like that before, you know, had that kind of voice. So I thought he thought I talked like that all the time. Like I was always just roasting people. So whenever I saw him, I tried to be a little mean. I got a reputation to keep up. I know. He likes this.

I got to do it. Yeah. I remember when I very, very very very beginning of like my blog career is just stuck with this happened like 12 years ago it's one time it stuck with me a guy introduced me to his wife and he said yeah this is the guy from the website that i like he's much funnier on on the internet than he is in person but he's like and i and like for the rest of my life every time i'm like all right i gotta be funny i gotta be funny do the dance do the dance dancing monkey over here it's like god i'm a normal person i swear um but anyway i get like where i don't even want to like interact or anything like if you're a

famous person i'm like if they give me a compliment um you'll never see me again that's it i'm going out on a high note goodbye see you later exactly uh all right to go back to the point i was saying though is after all these documentaries like what was the process of like hysterical like and kind of what can we expect from this one? Well, this was good because it was, you know, it's very high end female comics, you know. So if you don't like all of us, you definitely like some of us. And, you know, it was just fun doing something and doing all this press with other female comics like one of the things when i was coming up was you rarely interacted with other females like you would hear about them but you wouldn't really see them because it was like one girl per show or you know like i would

go on the road and i would ask for a female opener and lots of times they wouldn't let me um have one they'd kind of be like, like filled your quota. Sorry. Wow. When I was doing Caroline's, I asked if I could have all women on the show and they're like, you don't need to do an all female show. They're like,

you're better than that. I was like, no, I, I never see my friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, so like this was, I feel like again, you being the person that they like talk about a lot, did you ever make like a concerted effort to try to – I mean I guess you did if you're asking for all-female shows. But the idea of you guys getting together and kind of knowing each other more I feel like makes the whole – couple of years have this huge um you know all female but not just comedians but like comedians and like producers and you know people in the business kind of thing like these huge dinners and it was always really really fun and um you know i get it's like i remember sarah silverman saying one time like she went on an all-female show like road trip thing and she was like it was so fun she said this is what guys do every weekend they get to live they don't have to like be like isn't this special right like

you know so i mean that's one thing that i think the reason that guys too they like really help each other out and they you know you can watch them after shows. I'll be like, oh, that was good. Try this tag or that, you know, you can see them giving each other advice and stuff. And I think they don't do it with women because they feel like, oh, I don't want to be the guy that's telling a girl how to do a set, you know, or whatever. That is dicey, I will say. I would feel very like can i can i just offer you you know if i had anything i know i could really see women getting upset by that too

and um i've said i've given you know tags to people and it's it is just even you know it doesn't matter it's like awkward to do it you're like uh you probably thought of this this is bad maybe but um but i see guys doing it with their friends all the time and then up until very recently like when i was in la it was it was better because there was more female comics around so you could really like sort of write with other girls and stuff and but but when i got to new york um it still wasn't there wasn't that many women around and and when you did see another woman sometimes they weren't that nice.

It was because it was like, it felt like. I feel like sometimes there's almost more competition internally with you guys as well. I think, I think the guys have such a good group because they have like a secret. Have women,

have you guys just considered fucking high schoolers? Considered it. Well done. All right. considered it all right they're telling me i gotta wrap it up i could talk to you forever about all this stuff but uh thank you for the time i love talking about comedy thanks yeah you got it uh hysterical on fx friday april 2nd uh go check it out and thank you and tell rich thanks for the cameo as well of course thank you guys have a good one. Bye. Bye. See you. We are 52,000 subscribers on YouTube right now. We are, we want a million booty preferential,

but at 60,000, we're going to reward you. We have the Rat Family Vacation, a lost footage from me, Marty Mosch, and Casey Smith's trip to Gainesville, I believe, and then Orlando. I've never seen this because I wasn't there for this, so I want to fucking see this. So, subscribe. It's lost footage. It was going to be like a three-minute video. I think we now have five

videos, so it's going to be a half-hour video. You know what this is? This is the Hamilton cut. It should have been a normal movie. It's going to be like a nine-hour film of these idiots running around D.C. or running around Orlando. We got shit-faced in Epcot. I took like 100 milligrams of Adderall. I was really zooming.

They forgot how much Adderall they gave me. I was on a lot of Adderall. Subscribe! I had a million beers. We got playing, got canceled, got off, got drunk. There's a lot of stuff. Me and Marty argue about fire escapes. That's probably a whole episode right there.

It's fucking awesome. Subscribe to the KFC Radio YouTube right now. I really think I took 120 milligrams out of that. Peace. Pouring out of me I bring them to the life And it's only right This is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life

To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life Uh-huh Yeah Uh-huh Yeah yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh

Getting a little low, yeah, yeah