KFC Radio - Brian Regan, Leak Leisure, LeoLuLu, and the Vagina Furnace

Episode Date: December 20, 2018

Brian Regan (42:30) stops by to discuss Pop Tarts, putting a baby in a microwave, how he does jokes without cursing, Loudermilk, how kids are stupid, and his new series Stand Up and Away produced by Jerry Seinfeld. KFC shazam'd a porn soundtrack and Pornhub Aria and LeoLuLu loved his blog. Leak Leisure is the rapper that made the song about banging a listener's sister. How a vagina is like the furnace in Home Alone. Voicemails include: lose you hair or 3 inches, stacked dicks, same shirt or same underwear.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I've been thinking that there should be something called the Tommy John Henrys. Love it. Right? Like an Air Jordan, but it's your boxers, and they're specifically designed... I don't know, what would be different about your boxers? Butt flap. Done. The Tommy henry's featuring a butt flap got big butt flap guy little little button or a zipper uh the double button the double button trapdoor that's something tommy

john i'm listening you know if you're listening this is an idea the tommy john henry's are i mean that's a big fire idea. I'm a big fan. They've already done the quick draw fly. Now it's the quick draw poop. Yeah. Quick draw drop door. And I've said, every time I go to the bathroom, it's an absolute emergency.

But isn't it... Two buttons, isn't that hard? Not because while you're pulling down your pants, it's just... I guess that's harder. It's a little bit complicated. But not having to take everything off is kind of nice cold in the bathroom or something yeah it's also you you don't have to it's actually really perfect for like at barstool because sometimes you feel like the door and someone opens it you kind of do like the hide thing right my pants are up man yeah we're good you can come on in here

maybe they should also do the Tommy Long Johns, and they should have a full set of Long Johns, and maybe even an adult onesie. I love adult onesies. And that was definitely a trap door, because then you have to take your whole onesie off. Yeah, that's the inspiration for my design. Guys, this one's for free. We're workshopping this one.

Next one's going to cost you. Actually, those are all of our ideas. We're going to get 20% of all that. You're going to get 20% off when you go to TommyJohn.com slash KFC. The luxuriously soft boxer briefs. Comfortable stay put waistbands. Range of fabrics. Moisture wicking.

Breathable. Designed to move with you, not against you. Girls, they're hooking you up too. And there's a limited edition holiday gifts and daily deals during the holiday season. For something for everybody, whether you're naughty or you're nice. John, what list are you on? I think I'm on the nice list. Yep, I'm not.

You are not. TommyJohn.com slash KFC for 20% off. I am for sure on the naughty list. Although I gotta say, I've been a model citizen for a year now. I'm reformed. You have been, yeah. That's a good point. Sometimes you need something negative to inspire positive change, and you've been just nothing but great.

Something like that. We have much to get into today. Today's episode is a little bit of a continuation. This is part two this week. First of all, there's no going back. And I probably was this already, but now I certainly am a porn guy. Because I was DMing with Leo Lulu. No way. Yep. What? So everybody knows the saga of my porn hub.

They are definitely, I think they're French, but they definitely do speak type English. Everybody knows the story. If you were listening last week, my porn hub Shazam playlist. Long story short, I'm very obsessed with watching porn couples right now. I found this couple named Leo Lulu. They were fucking to a unbelievable soundtrack of underground hip-hop beats. I broke out my

phone, I Shazammed the whole playlist, and now I've been telling everyone about this fire mix all from this couple who fought. I heard you just like over saying it to, uh, Ron today. Yeah. Hey man,

you see my playlist? Well, if there's one person like Ron, you hear some of these beats, man, necro and large professor. And so, um,

our girl over at Pornhub area, she tweeted it out. And, uh, I'll start there because I'm pretty sure that's what alerted them to this whole thing. Aria put it up and said

who I love, by the way. We're going to get her on here. What a weird world when you're not a porn star, but you're a porn star. I listened to her on Asa's podcast. She's pretty reserved. She's actually like, sex is a hassle. Guys are bothersome at least that's what she says by the way a quick aside speaking of porn podcasts i just saw like

the screen grabs of quotes i guess adriana chachik was on asses recently oh yeah i mean brat nasty did the did the damn thing fucking her stepdad yep like the quote was like asa was like how did you end up fucking your dad and she she was like, he was combing my hair. And the next thing I know, we were fucking. I mean, by the way, by the way, like if you are of age to be fucking and someone's combing your hair, like that's a big time sign we're going to fuck. No, that's just, that's not what someone you should not be fucking. Someone who's like, let me comb your hair.

Sit in front of him to comb your hair. That's a psychopath. Yeah. One way. I mean, also when I'm thinking to myself, if you're of age to be fucking, Adriana like let me comb your hair sit in front of me comb your hair like that's a psychopath yeah one way i mean also when i'm thinking to myself if you're of age to be fucking adriana was probably like 11 so this whole thing very creepy like move on did you see the one about the triple anal she was like how does that happen she was like well there was two in there and i just wanted a third well okay that's how it happens that's how you go triple adriana does

not put much thought into no no And I hope she doesn't start. So, Aria tweets it and says, A true vigilante. A man who stopped mid-jerks, shazammed the tunes behind the ball smacks, and created this. An A-plus porn playlist. God bless you, Kevin. And then she said,

Shout out to at Leloo. Late Leo Leloo underscore triple X. So, I guess they got put onto it, obviously. And they tweeted, so they quote tweeted, said, this is amazing. Guys, you're always

asking for the track ID in all of our videos. KFC Barstool made a playlist using Shazam crying face emoji. Read all about it in his article here thanks for the for the laugh and the appreciation and then and then we were just kind of I was like you know laughing being like thanks for the music and all that she's like yeah no problem I was kind of like yo maybe like send like the premiums like link or something over this way right you're well past

that I think it's like should we invite well roan was thinking that we need like a porn where it's like they're filming normal and then like they pan over and it's actually me on like the turntables playing music like the one earphone on i almost want to be like listen i'm not going to be in your porn but maybe like you know the laptop needs to be open to like my Twitter page or something. Right. There you go. Or how about, how about I. Have you ever seen the counts those videos have? Oh, it's a little bit. Like, it's like a hundred million views.

Yeah. It's like Bieber baby numbers. Oh yeah. That's what they do. I mean, porn, porn views, you add like two or three zeros to like even the playing field. You know what I mean? Like what, if you were, if you're doing, if you're doing like 50,000 here, you just add a couple zeros if you're in porn.

That's the kind of shit. It's insane. Every time I like stop jerking off to be like, wow you're doing, like, 50,000 here, you should add a couple zeros if you're in porn. That's the kind of shit. It's insane. Every time I, like, stop jerking off, it'd be like, wow. Mesmerized by it. You get that many views. Yeah. That's some good stuff. That's good interneting right there.

That's what I'm coming to. That's what I'm coming to is the number of views. I wonder what the CPM is. You know how we talk here about, like, internal player versus YouTube versus. Yeah, it's like, what if you just had your own Leo Lulu player and you had to watch it there? I don't know. But I think at the very least, I get to make a playlist for them now ah i think that's fair as well i'm gonna put the greatest showman on there that plays for porn too by the way this is the greatest show you guys are putting on a fucking show. So, yeah, I'm DMing with porn couples now.

So single life going great. We'll see. We'll see where that takes me. No face, girl. If you're around, DMs are open. All my couples. Shout out to all my couples. But so that's the first little bit of callback.

The second little bit of callback brought to you by Outer Known. And this callback is very important. Lots to discuss. Outer Known. I got the waffle hoodie that I love wearing. Logan got a nice little gift bag too. He rocks Outer Known four days a week. He's a big Outer Known guy. They are high quality, sustainable clothes, durable construction, great fit. And here is the thing. Every time you hear Outer Known, you have to understand Kelly Slater, 11-time world champion surfer, is behind it. So that's cool. Done.

That makes the club cool or cool list or whatever it is at Barstool. That's right. We'll discuss that. Dave Portnoy put out the list of who's cool and who's not at Barstool. Kelly Slater would come along and he would just shit on everybody at the Barstool. Kelly Slater would come along and shit on like everyone who's cool in like Hollywood. If Kelly Slater is on the coolest, he's the only one because no one else can compare. Right.

Yeah. He's it's like who's on that list. It's like John Mayer and Kelly Slater. And that's like it. By the way, last time we were talking we were plugging kelly slater i was like this dude he's killing it he's got the surfer flow he's bald oh yeah i wasn't gonna and a lot of people were on a roll thank you for that because a lot of people were like bro don't you even know and i was like bro no i don't clearly i wouldn't

have said that if i did that video him that went viral this week no what do you do falling off a surfboard in the middle of a wave landing on the surfboard and coming out the other side? No. See, you want to wear clothes made by that guy? Yes, you fucking do. It makes no sense. It wasn't like a trick he was doing. It's just he's so attached to surfboards that it's just a part of him.

If a lizard loses its tail, just another one. He just somehow gets another surfboard like wait like he falls onto a different surfboard or he just ends up on his own surfboard these waves are always just so preposterous yeah he's disappearing into the fucking barrel rolls on his back on his ass and just comes out the other side and gives it a jordan shrug pops back up and throws the hands up. I don't know how that's done. I don't even know if that was a Jordan shrug or if that was a Maximus.

Are you not entertained? Yeah, that is as cool as it fucking comes. So the dude, that guy, he has clothes that he wears that you can also wear. That's ridiculous. You should not be able to do anything that Kelly Slater does, but Outer Known, they're going to let you do it. Go to OuterKnown.com today.

Promo code KFC at checkout, and you get 25% off. I like people who go the extra mile. 15's okay. 20 is like the standard. 25 is like, you're really doing it. Outer Known, O-U-T-E-R-K-N-O-W-N.com. Promo code KFC. So the other big news that actually I think got overshadowed by my disgusting porn habits, I think would have also would have ordinarily been like the main part of the episode was the dude whose sister has a boyfriend who makes music.

And this boyfriend put out a song that is very graphic. So we said we debated, what do you do in this situation? And we were debating, you know, if it's on at the bar, do you just have to get up and leave? Do you have to kill everybody involved? What's the move?

And we said, we need to hear this song first. Well, we have the song. So, it's on my Twitter. And this guy described it as, he said it's a banger, like where he comes from. People are listening. Where does he come from?

I bet we could kind of piece that together. I can see this being like a like a Madison, Wisconsin bar. I was just going to say that now. It's not it's not really New York club banger. Right. Correct. Correct. I mean, I think this is much like, you know,

I feel like a town where everyone knows that you're the guy who made the song. Yes, like he's probably local famous, but I'll be honest, that's like worse. I mean, it's not worse than like a Drake hit, but like in this, in your world, this dude matters. You know, people like the most important people in your, like if there's a hit,

maybe I'm not going to listen to like the new like big R&B hit or something like that. But, like, if someone in my town is, I'm going to know this person. And then as far as your world is concerned, you go to dinner, you go out, you go to work, everybody is listening to this dude. But although I think it would happen no matter what in your world because people would play it just to piss you off. So he claimed it was a banger and i'll be honest by 2018 standards this qualifies as like if i heard this on the radio by like one of the trap music guys i'd be like yeah i mean it's so 2018 with like

here's where it turns up Oh after this little Some weird like Birdman modest Yahoo Fucking adlibs going on But He leads right into Super Smash. Baby, we got time to spare.

Let me Super Smash and pull you out. I got you hooked like I'm fishing. You wanna fuck in the kitchen. Then move on up to the ceiling. You got me up for decisions. I am a dog shit. We can fuck on the wall shit. We can go for a long shift till we over-exhausted.

You know what is the fastest? Am I singing a copy? dog shit. We can fuck on the wall shit. We can go for a long shift till we over-exhausted. You know what is a faucet? She grab on that dick like a monster. What is a faucet? She grab on that dick like a monster. Fuck till we're exhausted. We super smash and pull her hair. I don't, I mean, this is, we don't like

this, but if that was on the radio, that wouldn't surprise me. If you told me that was by fucking, I don't know, Young Thug or some shit, I'd be like, okay, whatever. If Jet Ski made that, we would be like, all right, there's another one. Another one to the list. Okay, that's fair. By SoundCloud standards, I could see a small Midwest town liking that song. So this guy tweets it to me.

He's like, you guys wanted to hear the song. I'm like, here it is. This guy, by the way, riding really hard for his sister getting banged yeah i mean so i i i doing as much as possible to make sure that they go you wanted to hear the song here you go i tweeted it out i said you you gotta kill both of them like that's you didn't his sister and then his sister chimed in well and then so all right the the guy originally who sent it to me he was all like very understanding which is funny considering uh considering like he initially called in it was like very troubled by this but he was super understanding he was like it is what it is man he's a genuine guy and i just want

to see him go far in music but man it's a tough one and he said again it is what it is i just want to see the guy progress in his music career. When these two break up, this guy's going to change his tune. He's also like, maybe I'm going to be the brother-in-law of the next big rapper right now. What is he, the guy's fucking manager? Why does he keep saying, like, I just want to see him succeed. That's what I'm saying.

He thinks he's part of the stream right now. The sister named Michaela does chime in. Cute little blonde. Her cover photo is clearly the boyfriend. It's black dude with like short dreadlocks. And she was like, LMFAO, my God, I can't believe you did that, Dante. And oh, by the way, I mean, okay, now here's the thing.

I've clearly found the guy. Now, as soon as this pops off everyone skeptical internet assholes are like this is all a marketing ploy and i'll tell you what if it is then you earned it you absolutely earned it if you called into the show with a good enough voicemail got on the show we liked it then you found us on twitter do they think it's our marketing play no they think that this guy is the manager. Good for them. Yeah. So I'm going to give the guy a shout out.

So either A, this is just a very ridiculous saga, or B, this guy earned it. His name is Leak Leisure. At Leak Leisure. L-E-A-K-L-E-I-S-U-R-E. Not a great name. Nope. Not a great song. He kind of has like a...

I don't know. I was about to say Lil Yachty, but they're all the same to me. If you showed me this guy and said that he's Lil Yachty or any of them, I'd be like, yeah, sure. So I do genuinely kind of like that song. I kind of fuck with it a little bit. Yeah, I mean, you were singing the words. You were texting me last night.

You're like, I'm kind of vibing. I said, look, I'm not vibing. I'm not vibrating on your level. But the... I wouldn't. This guy said that he performs it at the town, like in the local town, like at the bar and the club. He's on stage singing that while he's there. You cannot have another man be in the same room as you and sing or say, wet as a faucet, regarding your sister. Now, is it better if it's not your sister

what like is it better if it's this guy he's like not man it's cool I wrote that about some chick I think it is unless that's like unless they're getting married and you're really worried about like your sister's well being going forward I think it's much better

if he's like dude that was some fucking hoe on the road when I traveled to like ohio down the road to go on poor that was what is a faucet super smashing super smash i don't think i'd like i think i guess i'd probably rather have it be my sister that i don't i wouldn't want to hear my sister getting cheated on i think that'd be rather her get pound out don't know. I don't like this question. It is not a comfortable one. Like, it's definitely I'd rather her be cheated on and just be like, hey, don't do that again.

All right, but that was the last time. In either scenario, it's, hey, don't do that again. But really, the most disrespectful thing are, like, the ad libs in the background. Like, you went into the closet. I'm the background like you went it's a closet this guy's bird man and all over my sister how it starts with a spongebob meme yeah i mean that is that is 2018 in a nutshell a soundcloud rapper with a spongebob meme with a voicemail on a podcast this is this is 2018 mad libs and it's a goddamn brother and sister connected, which on Pornhub is all over the place.

This truly is the most 2018 story of the year. Put it on the playlist. The Pornhub playlist. Oh, hey, that's not a bad idea. You send a Leeloo. Leo Lulu. Yeah, that'll be on the playlist. Shout out to Leek Leisure.

Leek Leisure and Leo Lulu. Say that fucking ten times fast. Leek Leisure does need a new rap name if he's going to succeed in this game. John, I don't know if we're in the position to be giving out rap name advice, you know? I think the game has passed us by. Yeah, that's true. I guess I'd be like Lil Yachty or Takahashi69. That's terrible.

Takahashi69? That's the worst name I've ever heard in my life. Who are some other ones? You can't even say it right, John. Lil Uzi Vert. Yep, Lil Uzi Vert. Lil Xan. Lil Xan.

Bad name. That guy sucks. He's in rehab. He doesn't do Xan anymore. You gotta do the Xan. Lil Perp. Lil Peep. R.I.P.

Lil Peep's a dead one? I thought it was Lil Perp. Yeah, Lil Peep. I think, right? We don't know. I have no idea. Still. Still.

Leak Leisure. Leak Leisure. I don't know, See, we don't know. No idea. Still, still. Leak leisure. Leak leisure. I don't know, man. I don't think that's it. Yeah, I'll tell you this much, though. We'll be listening to his next song and hear what the lyrics are. Do you got the balls now? Are you going to go forward with this one?

Next, this is going to be like, doing anal sex. Who's on the show today? Brian Regan. Brian Regan. Fucking legendary. I should say effing legendary comedian for Brian Regan. We talked about it on the interview. You'll hear him.

You want to do the interview now or voicemail first? I think voicemail first. Yeah. He's got stand-up specials from 07 that still play. His brand of comedy is so like quirky and observational that shit will play that'll be funny until the end of time so one of the OGs in the game

sitting with us once again don't know why crazy sometimes I'm like I still get stunned I think sometimes by some of the names yeah oh no doubt I you know what I get stunned a lot too is it happens very often is when like later I'll be perusing twitter after we interviewed somebody and then i follow colbert on twitter and he'll be like here my guest tonight oh he was my guest first yeah yeah that's really

oh he did like material that we came up with like on our show we were all joking around about some shit that was so funny that he then did it on your show that feels good first voicemails brought to you by sea geek have you heard of him have you heard of this place you guys know about that sea geek is as like get yourself some bedded office tickets hard to come by but i i tried to get um tickets to schitt's creek and they were four hundred dollars panic at the disco in town in uh january do you think they were $400. Panic at the Disco in town in January. Do you think they do it? Do you think they do the cover these days?

Do I think Panic at the Disco does the cover? Oh, yeah. Live, right? That's gotta be dope. Imagine it live with like pyrotechnics and shit like that.

I mean, I like Panic, but I'm not, I'm not going to like one of their concerts, but I would probably go for just that. Like I'll get tickets for the whole concert to just... I'm a little punk rock boy. concerts, but I would probably go for just that. I'll get tickets for the whole concert. I'm a little punk rock boy.

You're a little emo bitch boy. I am, very much. If you're an emo bitch boy, you want to go to see Fall Out Boy or any of the others, or you want to just go see your favorite team, your favorite comedian, Brian Regan, whoever it may be, SeatGeek, best way to buy and sell tickets on the secondary market.

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Stacked Dicks. Hey, what's up, guys? I got a kind of weird nickname story for you. So, back in high school, me and my buddies talked about if a guy had two dicks, would they be side to side or stacked on top of each other? This is an easy question.

We haven't seen the point. Someone's never been on E-Fucked. Someone's never seen Double Dick. My buddy's been calling me Dick Stack since I'm 24 years old. And my close personal friends just call me Dick Stack or Stack. Wait, I just started talking to her. Does he have two dicks? Why is that his nickname?

Because that's what he chose. He said it would be Stack Dicks, but that's now to her. Does he have two dicks? Why is that his nickname? Because that's what he chose. He said it would be Stack Dicks, but that's now his name. They call him Stacked. That's a cool nickname. Yeah, that's a good nickname. That sounds like a WWF wrestler, like Stacked. I like that. We had a kid in high school we called Meat.

That was just because he had a huge dick. Yeah, I actually would almost prefer it to be Dick Stacked. What's up, Dick Stacked? Stack Dick? I think Stack is a good nickname. Yeah, for sure. Dickstacked's a mouthful. I think Nicknames gotta be one syllable.

Tornado, Squid, whatever. I like fights. It's easy. It's quick. I like one syllable for Nicknames. Yeah, I'm with that. Stacked. Stacked.

That could mean anything. It could mean you got a big dick, got a big wallet, got big muscles, whatever. Stacked. Nothing it means is bad. Yeah, when you say that team is stacked, it means they're fucking winning the championship. Anyway, great nickname. Secondly, I mean, have you never seen the E-Fucked with the double dick guy? I've seen double dick guy.

I've seen double vagina girl. I've seen it all. I've seen it all. Both of them on top of each other. Now, also, yeah, just think about it logically, though. A normal girl, regular anatomy, she's got her ass in her pussy in a line so if nature were to throw you a double dick curveball they would make sure that you could utilize that yeah yeah like what i mean honestly like one of the like split tongues yeah you couldn't i mean think about it you'd have to

you know what i mean like a forked tongue of a snake yeah because think about it if you put one i like how i thought of split tongue like how people do that to themselves medically rather than but thinking about the snake who it's based on like yeah you know how people like split their tongues and like self-modification you mean look like a snake yeah yeah like that but even if you weren't fucking like if you if you had a side by side you wouldn't be able you'd have to flip one up yeah otherwise you'd'd be ramming it into a leg. You know? Yeah. This is a simple question.

There's nothing you... Oh, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. You just turn her sideways. So you'd be kind of doing like this. Yeah, but that's just the whole thing. You'd be perpendicular instead of vertically. That would be pretty cool.

Think about it. Like a girl lays on her side almost doing like one of those aerobics things, and then you just do normal straight on. That could be pretty cool. I could see that working. Either way will make it work. But it's stacked. I can't believe that he's in trouble for choosing that one.

Yeah, your friends are weird. That's a nickname-based answer for you? Come on. I mean, first of all, it's at best a coin flip so a nickname is a bit much yeah secondly imagine side by side it's probably just as passionate as you two are and they're like whoa this guy really wants a stack dick well who wouldn't yeah i'll take a stack dick yeah sure if you had the choice right now to have two dicks would you when we phrase it like that i mean we're always be now to have two dicks, would you? Why do we phrase it like that?

I mean, we're always be normal. And having two dicks is certainly not normal. Because then you almost have to commit to a life as a circus freak. Yeah. You could, and you should, and you will, and you'll make money. But it's like, you've got to be a circus freak. I mean, think about that. Just taking your girl home from the bar one night.

By the way. And you don't tell them right away. No, you've got to let them. You're in the cab on the way home, just so you know. Two penises. I think that's a deal breaker in most situations. If we lived in a strange world where everyone's got two sets of genitalia,

yeah, take them stacked up. If we live in this world, take the one. Take the one penis. Take the single penis. In any scenario, if there's an amount of penises, you're getting fucked in the butt, Kevin? One. You only want one penis doing that. You only want one penis.

Getting fucked in the ear? One. You just want one penis doing it. If you're doing the fucking, one. Just have one penis doing it. Yeah. And yeah. Maybe at some point in life, if you want to get really freaky,

you just like buy a strap on, use that. And then you can do both. That sounds like something you've done before. Sounds like something I've seen before. For sure. Never, definitely never done,

but definitely seen. I mean, again, I've seen it all. I've seen, I've seen anything. I don't think there's a point that could, that would shock me.

I don't think there's anything. I mean, quicksand points shocked me. That was it. Yeah, that's true. But that's not even important. It's just think there's anything. I mean, quicksand porn shocked me. That was it. Yeah, that's true. But that's not even porn. It's just somebody dying. So, yeah, that was shocking to me.

But there was no pornography aspect to it. If you're trying to make a porn rather than just trying to make an erotic snuff film, it's not going to shock me. I'm like, okay, I get what they're trying to do here. It's understandable. I mean, what you're trying to do is murder a woman i'm adding quicksand porn to the best of oh yeah about that one um uh serious question for you you said you know you go home and you have two dicks you don't

like tell them right away right what about if you have two kids not two ticks two kids um what do you think how do you how do you think one navigates that i think you if i mean the children at home probably let them know because otherwise they're gonna think you're a kidnapper that's even worse oh by the way there's a couple kids running around i own them don't worry don't worry i locked them in the room yeah you'll hear him screaming i I bet, but it's fine. I mean, I would imagine anybody that I come across, if I ever even bother to do that again, is going to know me and know my whole shit. Yeah, look at you. Right?

That must be nice. Well, listen, I'm going to go after someone who likes me for all this shit. I mean, take the fucking path of least resistance here. I'm not going to go try to find someone who doesn't know Barstool and win them over. You know how many followers I have? Walk into a bar, like, do you know who I am? Nobody reacts. I'm not going to go try to find someone who doesn't know Barstool and win them over. You know how many followers I have? Walk into a bar, like, do you know who I am? Nobody reacts. I'm out! Turn right around.

So they'll probably know, but I've been definitely thinking of that where it's like, by the way, father of two, and they're super small. I think you have to... I think you drop that. Not date one, but like, I mean, like, I mean, one night stand, two mean, what nightstand?

Two kids, way less shocking than two penises. But if we're doing dates, that's probably, you probably get that before date three. Okay. I think you probably get that one in there, but I don't think you have to lead with it.

Because then the problem is, that by date three, if it's a girl, if I'm dating a girl, all of them, because they're all like this they'll be like you've been lying to me

no I think yeah I'm telling you you omitted that you felt you couldn't I mean listen I hope if it's anybody

you're serious about they would be cool like that but I can see I mean I think it's different I think it's different I think I think an adult

woman will like I were really clarifying with this it's gonna be a think it's different. I think I think an adult woman will like how we're really clarifying with this. It's going to be a woman. She's going to be. I am not fucking guys. I seriously mean it. Or children. The I think they do understand.

Look, the first date was about us. And like now money, you know, like there is some other stuff. Like there is baggage. So it feels weird to call your children baggage but there is me bro that's all kids are all there is look you could say it i feel like i feel uncomfortable saying it i don't think i've earned the right to call your children baggage um the uh i i think you can be like look yeah like we i want to see if you like me and you do and you know this is gonna get more serious you should probably know kids i like that role john i also also it's just inherently different

for guys i think it's just like way easier yeah to just be like because girls aren't going to completely run at the site right probably because it's cute i'd like if a girl told me that i'd be like what are you talking about i am a you talking about? I am a child myself. Now you have three. I would honestly, I probably would. I'm an infant, so I would have to be like, look, this is a it's not you, it's me situation for real. But you can't handle me. You do not have what it takes to have John Feidelberg in your life right now.

Yo, what's up, Kev? Feidelberg, your life right now. Yo, what's up, Kev? Feidelberg, Super Producer BC. So me and my roommate are currently a little intoxicated. I can tell. And just talking bullshit. And we got this question that we pondered a little bit. Would you rather lose all your hair, all of it. Have no hair anywhere. No.

Or lose three inches off your height. Viva. Easy for me. No brainer. I'm taking the, I'll take the shortness. It's not great. Being short is,

is a very- I mean, what are you if you lose three inches? You're 5'10"? 5'9". 5'9"? I'd be 5'9". Like that's not,

yeah, that's what I mean. If you're, if you're asking me to go from like 5'9 to 5'6 or into like be 5'9". Yeah, that's what I mean. If you're asking me to go from 5'9 to 5'6 or into the 5'5 territory, that's tough. But what he says, you lose all your hair. So you go Charlie Villanueva with it. You have no eyebrows.

You have no eyelashes. You could even... You could also be a tall guy who shaves his head and be attractive. But if you don't have eyebrows and eyelashes, you're a freak. Yes. I actually almost think it would be worse

if you didn't lose all of your hair because i do think bald is a look yeah if it was between height and like the crown the costanza i'm taking the height the shortness no problem i think i think i'm taking the shortness no matter what also because i think you could shave your head and and still be like an attractive guy you think i could probably about it the uh mean, you're not attractive now, so... Right. The, uh... To clarify,

this guy was drunk or does he have a speech impediment too? I think a little bit of both. That was the drunkest person I've ever heard. Yeah, man. Thought about it. I think he might not have a tongue.

If it was... At first I was like, oh, we can't make fun of him because he has a weird voice and he's like, well, I'm just drunk. I'm like, oh, okay, then I can make fun of him. And has a weird voice. And he's like, well, I'm just drunk. I'm like, oh, okay, then I can make fun of him. And then he talked more.

And now I'm like, well, what's wrong with you? Would you rather be bald or not have a tongue like that guy? So height is the answer all around? Yeah. You hit all the points. Short is normal. Yeah, it's normal. There are short people in the world.

It's like the alopecia type look is not normal. If I had alopecia, I would look absolutely ridiculous. I'd look ridiculous. Actually, I disagree. Although I do have... Because you don't even have eyebrows. They're light. You can't even see them in the summer.

They disappear. That's true. You would just be bald. I have a friend whose dad has alopecia, and I never even knew he had it until, I don't know, I was an adult and could learn what that means I think that's just because you're an idiot you can't tell, he wears glasses all the time you can't really tell if someone has eyebrows or not

if they're wearing glasses plus there's just so much other stuff that comes with that your eyebrows serve to prevent sweat it can't happen with hair imagine that if you were just like my eyeballs are burning because I don't have eyelashes.

Because salt water is dumping into my eyes right now. What do the eyelashes do? I don't know. Those seem a little bit silly. And how do eyelashes know to stop growing? How come you don't have to get your eyelashes cut? They just grow like one centimeter and they just stop. I mean, eyebrows don't either, right?

Yeah. It's so weird. It's like top of your head, it flows, and there's just like two inches of your forehead and then these two little strips that know to stop and then little little tiny little eyebrow eyeball lashes and then you get lower than that and it doesn't go crazy again it goes down to your dick and it's a fucking fiasco how short would you go like if it if it wasn't just three inches would you do six inches to keep your hair five six with hair that's like the cutoff that's like i don't know not going five five five six pretty tiny who's five six in the office probably like fran five

five probably if i had to guess brando but because she's a woman so it seems yeah uh guys uh there's some tiny ones floating around means I was probably four or five is the Nate what's Nate I bet you he's even he's like five I would say I would say Nate's

five six and I think I would take nights Nate's height with hair he does not have either but just so we're clear I would take that with height with hair. Poor Nate. He does not have either. But just so we're clear, I would take that with hair. Yeah. Okay. But I'm not going 5'5". 5'6 is my cutoff.

5'5 is just... 5'5 is a girl height. Like, that's how tall you are. I'm 5'5. That's what girls say. You're now a girl. That's it. 5'6 is my cutoff.

Last voicemail? Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club. You want to keep your eyebrows and your eyelashes groomed? You want to keep that beard groomed? John, we're going to have to do some grooming. That was the official word from Casey today. We got to do some beard trimming. Not shaving.

We're not going to shave it off. I don't know how to do that. I've never even had facial hair that I buzz it and then it's there. I don't know how to groom a beard. I think you're going to have to clean up the top and your neck. Get yourself some Dollar Shave Club razors. Those are just the best. I think there's like four blades on those.

They're good because they're not like overkill. There's like seven blades. Those are stupid. One or two blades is like your poor people now. So Dollar Shave's got the right amount of blades. They got everything though. It's not just the razors. They got the body butter. They've got the hair gel stuff. They've got the hair gel stuff. They've got the lip balm, lotions, all that stuff.

That guy the other day, he was talking about, you know, can you take care of your skin and groom yourself? Yeah. And the easiest way to do it is Dollar Shave Club. It gets delivered right to you. Right now, they have a bunch of starter sets. And they have, like, an oral care kit. So, you get all the stuff you need to brush your teeth, floss your teeth, all that. They've got the 3S's starter kit, all sorts of different things

to just drive you into the world of men's grooming, and it's just $5. So what are you waiting for? The starter set costs $5 at dollarshaveclub.com slash KFC. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash KFC. What's up, KFC, Fuddleburg, Super Producer PC. Quick shout out to your tractor people out here. And I got a question for you. Would you rather have to wear the same shirt to work for two weeks?

And that means you can't wear a jacket. So it's going to get kind of nasty. And everyone you work with will be like, why is this dude wearing the same shirt for two weeks? Or have to wear the same pair of underwear for two weeks straight. Without washing it, no cleaning it. All right, thanks. I'll tell you what, for me, both are not great.

I think it's a matter of personal like disgust and discomfort verse oh my god no we all right we did this in high school we did it with a friend his his dad went to shout out joey q his dad went to vegas and came back with a gift for him that was i mean it was abominably bad it was a red button-down shirt that was like kind of had asian flair to it okay and then had a big gold dragon going like up the arm kind of had asian flair yeah but like the color red had it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, there was a big gold dragon like all over it.

Tell me you wore it for two weeks. Breathing fire a month. A month? He had to wear it for a month straight. What was it, a punishment? Or was it, was it like a bet

or something that he lost? I forget. I don't think it was really a bet. I think, I think we just made him do it. We just bullied this man. He was like my age. So it wasn't like he was younger. We were bullying. It just bullied this man. He was like my age. So it wasn't like he was younger.

We were bullying. He was a willing participant. He was like a friend. So it wasn't like a bully thing. But I think we just bet him he wouldn't. I don't remember what it was. You won't be a disgusting pig for a month. It was my buddy McCarthy was really the driving force behind it.

And he couldn't wash it either for that month. And so Chris would just like, disgusting. Chris would just like squirt mustard on him at lunch. It was like, it was like, it wouldn't be an excessive amount, but it would just be like, like at lunch,

you'd be like, Oh, we need like this big whoops. And then like one, one morning at breakfast, Chris just like walked over, tripped and got his milk on him. You have to add the bet with milk.

It's the most disgusting thing I've ever been a part of. Did he smell like horrific? I mean, the smell, I don't really even had a sense of smell. So like the smell doesn't stick out. Joey getting stuff spilled on him does. But like, I don't remember ever being like, oh, oh my God. Like you can't come next to me anymore. It was, and it it was just every single day like he was wearing it like under a blazer it was like he had like a tie and a blazer and it was like a month is a long it wasn't we didn't

have uniform we just had dress code so you just had to like you could if you could wear a button down if you wore a tie and blazer with it it's like he's wearing this thing around it was the most absurd thing like i've i've ever seen in high school and i saw some shit like anyone sees some shit in high school but the only reason you can pull that off is because you're on boarding school where it's like a fucking joke it's high like if you're walking around real life you came into work every day like that mustard and milk so sure but dude the boxers like the underwear it's disgusting oh you get i go like a day if i need to i'll do the flip inside out if it's if it's desperate times flip my domi johns after that

it's like what is what is it about that if i put on a dirty t-shirt i'll sweat more what's that about ah i don't know but i know and if you put you put boxers on like your shit itches more yeah and it's not like up up on your nuts it's just like being around some some dirty boxers makes me itch that's always been my one thing with homelessness couldn't be underwear couldn't do it yeah because you get like that crotch rot yeah what the fuck is it's really really bad it's not like the smell you just like regular like one day of regular use boxers not like i'm farting or sweating or working out just like i was walking around in boxers by the next day your whole undercarriage is a fucking fiasco if i sleep in the boxers i wore all day like i wake up in the morning and it's just yeah it's just like terrible yeah if i feel like i take a nap if i just lay down and take a nap it's like you know

your mouth gets gross my pits get gross my dick's gross what about chicks chicks can't do this at all chicks you can't wear underwear More than like 45 minutes at a time I feel like girls should wear Five different pairs of underwear a day Let alone two weeks Clothes up your ass It's literally all up in your shit That like yeah

For some reason I feel like a vagina Produces more heat than a penis Oh those things are on fire Are you kidding me? I think it's just like The human body is 98.6 The vagina is 102 It's a super

Minimum It's a furnace Yeah You got It's a space heater Minimum. It's a furnace. Yeah. You just... You got... It's a space heater. My dick is just an extra appendage. Like, you have that Home Alone furnace.

Just thinking that thing. Just in your basement. I was just thinking. You have a source of, like, natural energy in there. Just put that space heater on. Keep this place warm. Like, if you put, like, a frozen hot pocket in the vagina, you can eat that up.

Yeah. Yeah. It won't be as fast as a microwave, but you could eat it. I feel like they might shovel coal in there during the day. There's like a Titanic scene. There's the guys down there. Jack's running through.

There's some pistons firing inside of there. Like a Castro oil commercial. That's what semen is. It's just Castro oil for vaginas. Holy shit. Anyway. I think I'll take the... I forgot the question.

I think I'll take the boxers. It's personal disgust versus like, if I wore the same shirt, you won't be able to be around me. I'll start to smell and I wore the same shirt I'm gonna be you're not gonna you won't be able to be around me like I'll start to smell and I'll look terrible I don't think I

would even do that I think I'd be fine and if I forever two weeks I think I could be okay you don't sweat that much that you weirdo yeah fuck you I would it would kill me not because of sweating like

that it would kill me just being like I'm back at school in Florida like I have to wear just the same thing yeah I can't even flex my ensemble this is outrageous this sucks it's the fashion for Johnny would not yeah it wouldn't be the the hygiene oh I'll back at school in Florida. I have to wear just the same thing every day. I can't even flex my ensemble. This is outrageous. This sucks.

It's the fashion for Johnny. Yeah, it wouldn't be the hygiene. Oh, I'll tell you what, too. If I'm wearing my Tommy John Henrys, I'll just open the flap, let it air out. Those things never get dirty. I wear that every day. Brian Regan is brought to you by Lightstream.

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19 minus 6.14. 19 minus 6.14. 12. Yeah. 8.6. My man, that was quick for you. That was really good. Let's go! 6.14. 12. Yeah. Yeah. Eight, six. My man, that was quick for you.

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So as rates continue to rise, you stay put. That's important. Save even more from light streams, already low rates. When you go to light stream.com slash more from Lightstream's already low rates when you go to lightstream.com slash KFC. That's L-I-G-H-T-S-T-R-E-A-M.com. Subject to credit approval rate includes 0.50% auto pay discount terms and conditions apply. Offers are subject to change without notice of age at lightstream.com slash KFC for more information. All right,

let's get it going then. It's KFC Radio featuring another comedy legend. Yep, that's right. I hit you with the L word. Brian looks over his shoulder. Somebody coming in. Brian Regan is now live in the flesh. And he just told us that this is his last day of six days of promo. Yes.

Which has got to be maybe like your least favorite six days of the year. I think a lot of people uh might enjoy this stuff i i'm not big on it all right i'm gonna get the hell out of here no no well i don't like talking about myself so it's a disproportionate conversation it's not like a social right thing it's like a q a and i'm answering and peppering right like if i was at a party i'd I'd ask people and how about you? That doesn't seem to happen. Let's do it that way, man.

Let's just have a conversation. I'll interview you guys. Sure. Let's go. How long have you guys been working together? 10 years. Serious? It's the longest relationship I've got in my life right now. Look at that. That's great. On air for 10 years? We started the podcast about 7 ago. We were working side That's great. On air for 10 years? Well, we started the podcast about

seven ago. We were working side-by-side blogging for about 10. Well, good for you. Thanks. I'm rounding up. It's nine, but 10 sounds better. 10 sounds way better. We're on our 10th anniversary, so yeah. I would be very bad at this because I can't even think of a follow-up question. Alright, I'll take it from there.

Alright, well, the interview is over. See you. You are responsible for a joke that has stuck with me. You know how you have like a line from a show or a stand-up or something you read that just like sticks in your brain forever? You think it's funny? And just the three seconds with the Pop-Tarts is buried in my brain to the point that it's like my cocktail party story. I'll be like, hey, by the way, did you know on the back of the Pop-Tarts it says put it

in the microwave for three seconds? You can't do anything in three seconds. You can't. It has been in my brain since what? I mean, that was probably like what? 10 years ago? It's been a while. Maybe longer than that.

Crazy. I appreciate it. Every once in a while when I'm in a supermarket, I will go down the Pop-Tarts aisle and just recheck the box. Make sure. Just to make sure. Is it still there? Yeah. Because that is the stupidest goddamn instructions of all time.

Yeah. I mean, I've actually, years ago when I read it, I was like, I don't know if this is a mistake or a goof. And I've actually done it. You know, like put it on for three seconds. It doesn't do anything. Nothing. Oh, I just.

You could put anything in a microwave for three seconds and nothing's going to happen. It's absurdly ridiculous. So one of the questions we once did on this podcast, which we've been doing for a long time, and the kind of premise of it is, when we talk to the callers, is ridiculous, horrible hypotheticals. And this

question was posed to us when we were... I now have two kids, but this is back when no children involved or anything. They said, would you put a baby in a microwave for three seconds for $10,000? And I remember thinking, it doesn't even heat up your Pop-Tart. Nothing's going to happen to the baby. And it kind of became like the classic question that everyone always – but I remember answering that thinking of your bit being like, yeah. This is like one of those safety things where I feel we have to say, so listeners, please don't be putting your babies in.

I would try a Pop-Tart. I would not try an actual infant baby. I think I'm still firm on it. I think it's impossible. I don't think anything would happen. I don't think anything would happen, but I don't think people should try. I put a cell phone in the microwave once in college just to see what would happen. Very inquisitive mind like that.

And it explodes immediately. It's like right away. It blows up. So maybe the three seconds thing. There's a big blue flash of lightning and then the phone explodes really quickly. I find what's very interesting about you is, would you say you're a clean comedian? I don't know any four-letter words.

If I knew some, I would throw them in my act. Yeah, some people describe me that way. Yeah, well, that's why I say, would you describe it? Because I know your act is not vulgar and you don't swear, but I feel like when people say clean comedian, there's maybe a connotation or you put you in a box.

That's my issue with it is that I fear I don't promo it myself because I think it might turn as many people away as it brings in. It might even turn more people away than it brings in. It's like putting a G rating on a movie. Some people want an R rating because more people would be inclined to go.

I showed up at a comedy club one time, and I had my little rental car, and they had a marquee out front, and it said, Brian Regan, good, clean, fun. And I was like, oh, my God. I wouldn't go in to see this guy. And I went in and I said, listen, and it was my first day of the week. And I said, I know you guys mean well and I appreciate it, but I'd really prefer that you don't hit the clean thing like that if you could just take that part down. So they said, yeah, don't worry about it.

The show was over. As I'm leaving, I'm thinking, I wonder what they did to the marquee. And I look up and it says Brian Regan, stupid funny. I don't know if that's an expression or I don't know whether to feel good about that or not. Am I going to go in again and

complain again? And I'm like, I got to let this one ride for a week. Stupid funny. Stupid funny. I mean, I like stupid funny. I don't know if I want it. I think it's an expression. It's kind of stupid funny.

I just thought, are they calling me stupid? There definitely is that connotation, too, because I was, like, I know your comedy very well, and I was a big fan of it and am a big fan of it. And then as we were doing research for the show today, it was like clean comic. I'm like, oh. You don't even realize it. I never even realized it. I think that's kind of where you want to live. It's not very obvious.

It's not forced. It's just. That's my preference. I like when people tell me that their friend said to them after a show, did you know he was clean? And they go, I didn't even realize that. You know, it's like, good. I'd rather it just be funny. Are you like clean in real life? No. No, no's like, good. I'd rather it just be funny. Are you clean in real

life? No. You're mixing up with the guys, you're having a few beers and F-bombs are flying and vulgar stories are being traded? If people are out on the golf course with me, they're going to hear things that they don't hear in my act. After I hit my third slice

in a row into the woods. Would you ever consider at this point in your career or maybe later, like, I'm going to let it fly. I'm going to take the shackles off. You're going to hear Brian Regan X-rated. Well, actually, it's sort of happening. I'm in a TV series called Louder Milk, which is the Farrelly brothers. You know, they did Dumb and Dumber and something about Mary. It's a dark comedy about substance abuse, and it's not clean.

And my character says some pretty rough, foul things. And I think it's surprising for people who know me who might turn that on. Like, I'd feel bad if people sat down with their kids, you know, and said, let's watch this Loudermilk show because it's really on the other side of the tracks. I feel like, I mean, yeah, maybe the kids, but, you know, anybody who's been following you just, I mean, it's so interesting that you have a whole other side of you in a way, you know, like most comedians, everyone just knows who they are and that's that. Whereas if you wanted to, you could like flip the switch and show like an entirely different side just by kind of being more like yourself.

I think it's a good card to be able to play if you wanted to. Well, I appreciate that. You just by kind of being more like yourself. I think it's a good card to be able to play if you wanted to. Well, I appreciate that. You mean in terms of being dirty? Yeah. Oh, okay. And we got a place for it if you ever want to let it fly. I don't know if you guys are giving me a green light to just get foul-mouthed on this.

Let it fucking rip, Brian. Say whatever the fuck you want. Well, gosh darn it. We're going to get bonkers here. We had on Jeff Foxworthy fairly recently, in the last couple months, and I remember I was trying to get him to say pussy. And he

was just not taking the bait. Showing him pictures of cats? How would you describe that? I mean, he's obviously one of the kings of this shit too, though, and it worked, obviously, for both of you. I mean, my mom and my sister love you, and I love you. My mom's old. My sister's lame.

I'm cool, whatever. We all like you the same. So when you pull it off, it really. I was doing a show somewhere, and some family came backstage to say hi, including their grandmother. You know, she seemed like she was 85 years old and she was just quiet over in the corner. And then there was a lull in the conversation and she turned to me and said, so how long have you been in vaudeville? Wow. I guess since 1910.

Vaudeville i can't say that i've ever heard the word vaudeville i've only seen it i've read it it's not like that but i don't think i've ever had someone say vaudeville is this a thing really uh one of the big parts of your act that i feel like uh is very funny and then once you can relate to when you you have your own kids, is just children's humor. I find them to be so funny because they're just so weird and so dumb at times. And I just think they're just an endless amount of material.

But like the children's book bit from way back. I appreciate it, man. I think everybody who's ever read a children's book has thought about how much money on Good Night Moon. Have you read the Jimmy Fallon Dada book? No, no.

It is just poorly drawn animals, and every single page just says Dada. And it says, written by Jimmy Fallon. Is it tongue-in-cheek, though? I don't think so. Right? I mean, every I don't know. Every new dad is like, you have to get this book.

It's just an animal and what the animal says it's like a sheep and it says bat and then the next page it just says dada. Wow. That's the entirety of the book. I don't understand how that can be authored by Jimmy Fallon. It's just caking it. I'm sure the money's just rolling in. Well, that's why, like in the bit I talk about the synopsis on the back.

And the synopsis on the back is longer than the actual book that you read. And I'm not even exaggerating. Like, you look on the back, it says, sit down with your children, and you will be delighted as you read about the adventures of the ticking clock. Sometimes it goes tick, and sometimes it goes talk, which just goes to show you never can be too sure in life because sometimes things are one way, but they are about to change. Are you talking about this book?

You're talking about the one we just read. Yeah. I mean, that whole world to me though i i mean do you ever uh i mean you you talk about your family life you talk about your kids and your act is there ever a line you draw or do you just kind of incorporate all of it is it exaggerated is it made up or is it all pretty real and true i don't i don't talk about my kids as much as i used to because they're getting older and i don't want them to feel like I'm following them around with a notebook. You know what I mean?

Do something funny because daddy needs five minutes. Trip or something. Say something stupid. Come on, kids. How old are your kids now? My son is now 19. Oh, wow.

My daughter's 15. You're definitely at that part where it's embarrassing or intrusive. And if I do talk about them, they're going to be the hero in the story. I'm not going to make fun of them. I got three and one and a half right now.

And so I'm just making fun of them and they're not the heroes. You have one and a half kids? Well, if you count me, I'm like a half a kid. But I mean, it's to me, I felt like there's so few people who are like kind of telling the truth about being a father and kids and all that. I was happy to kind of be like, here's some of the real deal. But then it comes across sometimes as like mean or, you know, I don't know. It's just true to me. You think it comes across as mean? I think you know, I don't know. It's just true to me. You think it comes across as mean?

I think you've never posted anything mean about the kids. I mean, I've said, you know, I call them stupid and stuff like that. But that's just true. They're dumb. Three-year-olds are dumb. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like, when's the last time a three-year-old cured cancer or did anything impressive?

She can barely get the alphabet right. She screws up LMNOP every time. She's dumb. She just learned how to walk like about a year ago. The other one falls down. The other one shits in his own pants. Oh my gosh. Well, you ain't kidding then.

So what can we expect from the act these days? You have the Christmas Eve special. Yeah, on Christmas Eve I have a network or a Netflix series. I don't know how many there has to be before you can call it a series, but there's four of them. I would say about four. I'm calling it a series. It's called Stand Up and Away with Brian Regan, and Jerry Seinfeld is executive producing it for me.

Sure. How does that? You might want to Google him. How does that come about? Ryan Regan and Jerry Seinfeld is executive producing it for me. Sure. Not a bad thing. How does that? You might want to Google him. How does that come about? Oh, I'm telling you. It was, well, we've known each other over the years and obviously I'm a huge fan of his, but he has liked my comedy and I've opened for him and stuff like that. And he called me up and he had seen my live, I did a live comedy special from radio city and,

uh, for comedy central. And he had seen it and said some cool things about it and said that he felt that I was one of the guys who should have a show, you know? And when somebody like that is telling you that you're like, you're going, what is going on with my life?

Are you sure this phone call is happening? Yeah. So it was there like, you know, phone rings pick up like, hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld, that sort of thing? Or was it like through people and the connection? No, he communicated with me. He's got my number, you know, which is, and that's like one number like you never give out.

Yeah. You know what I mean? But anyway, so we spearheaded going into Netflix and pitched the series, and they said, yeah, let's do it. It's half stand-up and half sketch. It's like me doing my older bits, and then those lead into sketches, and pretty happy with it. Is the Seinfeld connection, you think, because of clean humor?

Because I know he's kind of always skewed that way as well. Seinfeld's more, I feel like, his opinion on it was that it's like lazy to have to curse and be vulgar. So I feel like he kind of values the ability to make people laugh while not doing that more. Do you feel it ever played into you and Seinfeld's relationship? Perhaps, yeah. But I'm like him in that funny's funny.

I mean, there are guys that can be filthy who I think are great, and I think he feels the same way. It's when somebody leans on it too much, you know what I mean, to get the reaction. It's like because people will always react when you hit a four-letter word. So I think if you hit it too much, you're hitting the button to get the reaction. But if it's truthful and organic to somebody, I mean like George Carlin or Richard Pryor or

anybody that's part of how they tell their stories, then go for it, man. I feel like I'm kind of getting attacked. We have a button that we push it every fucking time. Well, so the special starts on Christmas Eve, and then is it like a bingeable?

Like they're all out, or does it come out in- Well, the four episodes all come out at the same time, and I guess that's the way they do it on Netflix, is they want people to see if it'll roll into the next one. If people watch it, if they like it, roll into the next one. And Loudermilk just got re-upped for season three, too. Yeah, yeah. That part is amazing to me. So far, Loudermilk just got re-upped for season three, too. Yeah, yeah. That part is amazing to me. So far, Loudermilk has over 100 viewers.

Oh. No, it's on this obscure channel. It's on the DirecTV's audience network. And not a lot of people know about it yet. But people who have seen it like it. It's got some incredible reviews. We're very happy with it. I think it's a great show, not because I'm

on it. I have a tiny little piece of the pie, but it's pretty good, and I think it's beginning to get some traction. Do you think that's something you want to focus on more, is acting? I love the acting stuff. The first season, I didn't even know if I could do it. I swear.

I showed up the first day, I'm like, I have no clue if I can do this. No training. I showed up the first day. I'm like, I have no clue if I can do this. No training or that kind of shit, right? Nothing. We did this whole set, this whole take on a set in a homeless shelter. That was my first scene

as I'm supposed to reconnect with my daughter who I hadn't seen since she was like 10. Jesus Christ, Brian. You threw yourself to the fire. I know. And I find out she works in a homeless shelter, so I have to go and try to reconnect with her. And so we show up for the scene,

and we get there, and it's like, is there a murder happening in the other room? Yeah, it's Stu Feiner. Hopefully there is a murder going on out there. Hopefully it's Stu. So I showed up that first day, and I couldn't tell if we were in an actual homeless shelter or if those were all actors playing homeless people. Jeez.

The whole shoot I didn't know. And there's all this food there. I swear, I'm like, is this food there i swear i'm like is this food for these homeless people or is this for us like are we all actors and this is for us or is it for them and i had flown in that day i was starving and i'm like i'm not gonna eat food that's supposed to be for these homeless people we shot the whole scene and i didn't know until after it was over no those are all actors, Brian. Yeah, those are some good actors, I suppose.

That sounds like Loudermilk is a quality goddamn show. That's right. I mean, most people, most guys in your situation, Brian, they do Crashing with Pete Holmes, where he plays a stand-up comedian doing stand-up. Louis C.K., he does Louis, where he's a stand-up comedian in death. Maybe. Maybe I'll start there next time instead of the addict who's reconnecting with his daughter in a home.

True. Good point. You went big, my man. You can check out Loudermilk on DirecTV audience network and Netflix on Christmas Eve will be Stand Up and Away with Brian Regan for the four episodes. Thank you. Big thank you to Brian Regan

who I just wanted to say motherfucker one time. Once he told me he's on the golf course letting it rip, I'm just like, I gotta crack this guy. Say it. Say cum. Say cum. Say twat. Do it. Say cum.

Vagina words are so gross. The worst. Furnace is the new one oh i do i i will call us i was all up in a furnace uh i just i think it's i know i kind of like harped on it with the way he does his comedy but i'm just fascinated by it it's like if you told me that i can't talk about certain topics and discuss them certain ways i would be like like frozen. I wouldn't be able to do it. Yeah. I bet you could have you tried. I'm trying to think about it right now.

I could, I could clean it up, but like if, if there's like topics, you can't talk about sex. I can't do like, it would, it would be very hard for me.

And he does, he makes a very successful career off of it. Like Fig Newton's. Yeah. Right. Pop stars, children's books, like all that shit.

And he's like, yeah, I sell out like fucking theaters all over the place. And I'm on television. Pop-tarts. Serving size. Children's books. Like, all that shit. And he's like, yeah, I sell out, like, fucking theaters all over the place, and I'm on television. I have specials. And Seinfeld calls me when I want. I just say, fuck. Big fucking thanks, bro. You fucking killed it, Brian.

I don't know if I'd change the ability to say fuck for phone calls from Seinfeld. Yeah, depends on how much money. Yeah, well, the phone calls. But I'll tell you what. You want to do a Capes Radio hypothetical? how much money to give up the word fuck? It's a lot. Yeah. Because I love it.

And if there's a fine for every time you did use it. A swear jar? Yeah. I'd be broke. I'm broke anyway. KFC Radio karaoke brought to you by OMAX. Are you dumb, John? No.

Yeah, you are. But. I just nailed that math. That was pretty impressive. That is true. Oh, you know why? Because just nailed that math. That was pretty impressive. That is true. Oh, you know why? Because you've been taking your Omax cognitive boost, haven't you? Because I have.

I actually stopped for a week or two. You feel a difference. I legitimately feel a difference. You got dumber. Yeah. It is when you need to think clear, when you need to dust off the cobwebs, if you're feeling foggy, forgetful, unfocused, unmotivated, or downright irritable. I'm like, check, check, check, check, and certainly check.

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I'll be dumb. My brain, my head can be dumb if there's hair on it. Go to OMAXboost.com, O-M-A-X-B-O-O-S-T.com slash KFC to get 60% off. I said I like 25%. I definitely like 60 one month supply, 60% off. When you go to O max boost.com slash KFC. We finish up today with my favorite song off of the Pornhub Shazam playlist.

The long time coming remix by Odyssey. This is what hip hop Used to be John Before that trap music bullshit Before guys were making songs About guys' sisters Coming and stuff When it was just Beats and lyrics

But also the porn couple Fucks to this This is This is so like like, KFC. Oh, that's the thing. I even said to John, I said to him, I was like, this might not be your style. I don't know if you like this. But I said, this is black KFC meets porn KFC.

Which is just me. That's the alpha and the omega. That's just me now. I don't really listen to lyrics that much. Well, this was an instrumental, obviously, when they were fucking. And then I found this with the lyrics And I was like oh this guy can rap too Yeah you don't do lyrics

Like people tell me they like read like Rap Genius Just regularly like when a new album comes out They just go on Rap Genius and like follow along I've never done that That's like what I love most Sometimes I'll check out Genius If I'm curious about like one line or something like that But I've never been like okay new album's out Headphones on I'll check out Genius to, like, if I'm curious about, like, one line or something like that. But I've never, like, been like, okay, new album's out,

headphones on, I'll read Rap Genius now. No, I love it. I love it. You find all, like, the nuance and double meaning, especially if it's, like, a battle record. Oh, my God. You get all, like, the meanings behind the disses. I should have been black, man.