KFC Radio - Camille Kostek, Ted Alexandro, and Young Pageviews
Episode Date: May 9, 2019Camille Kostek (1:07:10) comes in to celebrate her cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition with us, her quest to be on Dancing With the Stars, and when is Gronk coming back to the NFL. Ted Al...exandro (1:53:05 talks Mets, playing against Kenny Anderson in high school, and why it's fun to watch Zion destroy white kids in high school. Young Pageviews continues his Gloria celebration with Boris and is getting DMs from gay guys. Voicemails include: toe sucking, stealing KFC Radio stories, and GF's friends have seen your dick pics.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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We have YP here.
I don't know why.
And I was, I was.
Well, no, no, no, no.
I don't know why, but I mean, I love YP on the show every time.
But it was, it was like YP's got something and don't tell John.
Well, first of all, I just wanted to have him on for his regular appearance.
Second of all, I wanted to have him on for his Game 7 and Boris shenanigans.
But because he is this blossoming blues super fan and because he is a wild boy with his sexuality on those videos he is now getting some attention on instagram john
yeah well uh first of all shout out to you guys i was the wild boy first on here you called that a
long time ago yeah yeah some people might be surprised by this oh no no this has been in
yp's blood for a while now he just has the platform i'm surprised you even stopped on
the tweet when you see it because you're just used to this type of wild boy antics at this point honestly but i i have said as as this as this
cup run goes deeper and deeper and as the games get more and more intense and the stakes get higher
and higher he's getting more and more sexual i mean he's those pants those shorts are getting
shorter his junk is getting bigger i think it's flopping in the wind dude low key not a bad flop
you know exactly what i'm talking about oh right? Oh, that was a great flop.
Obviously, you got nothing on underneath there, right?
Oh, no.
Even when I go to the games, it's been good luck.
Just swim trunks.
I've never worn, because I'll be out in St. Louis.
You better be fucking careful telling people about that.
Yeah, well.
Oh, like a panting?
Like a panting.
Well, I mean, what I said on the rundown, I don't want to, I hate when people make bets
and then it's like some big thing of like, I'm not trying to do this for the shock factor.
I'm saying genuinely, knock on wood, if like some big thing of like, I'm not trying to do this for the shock factor. I'm saying genuinely knock on wood.
If the blues were in the position hypothetically to win the cup,
I think I'd have to show my dick at this point.
There's only one.
You can keep raising the stakes.
If you go to game seven of the cup,
there's only thing that's going to be left to show me that dong.
Show the Wang dude.
What else can I do?
It's flat.
Seriously.
It's almost like a,
you know, like a big church bell.
The thing that swings, you got a dick on you. It's not even, it's justlapping. It's almost like a big church bell, the thing that swings.
Jesus, you got a dick on you?
It's not even.
It's just really the flop in the pants.
I just knew because like.
I'm going to show you.
Kevin, honestly, like I don't know.
I don't want to do it.
Like it's such a would be an amazing moment, but I may have to show my wang.
Not even like in a sexual way, just like in an honorary thing of the moment.
It's the last thing you haven't seen of mine.
That's what I'm saying.
Is this the most recent one on your IG?
Yeah.
Is that last night?
Okay.
Oh, I mean, there's a big wank flop right there.
I'll see it.
There's one at one point where he really, you can really see it like dangling.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Right here.
Right here.
Here it comes.
Look, he just does a couple hip thrusts and it's just like that thing is flopping.
There it comes.
No, you'll see it.
Look.
You can see it bulging right now, but you'll see.
Look at that.
It almost looks it. Look. You can see it bulging right now, but you'll see. Look at that. It almost looks like.
Dude.
Do you remember doing this in elementary school?
You put your.
Yes.
And you pull the sleeve and it goes like that.
That's exactly what your dicking balls look like.
And those, let me tell you, you know, you have gym shorts that are real loose.
Yeah.
Those are like swim trunks with like a little mesh thing.
That was a good wang flop.
Yeah.
That could have easily.
You got to be feeling good about yourself. It's not that big, but it that was a good wang flop yeah that could have easily you got to be feeling good about yourself it's not that big but it was just a good wang flop well
if it's not the flop that's making you feel good about yourself these dms i've got to make you feel
why don't you read some for the people this guy if you remember on kfc radio probably two years
ago almost at this point kevin clancy and i quote i would fuck yp's ass what'd you say if it wasn't
uh if i didn't see his face or something?
Yeah, yes.
If I didn't know what was attached to that ass, I would fuck it.
Yes.
So now this guy, I'm getting, you know, check your DMs.
You know, it's fun.
I like to see what's going on.
See you sliding in there, yeah.
And I saw this one.
You know, I was curious when I saw a lot of emojis.
I open it up.
It says, God damn, you are fucking hot.
I want to eat your juicy ass, dude.
Please sit on my face, daddy.
And then he sent another one that said, this Insta story just made me rock hard with the monkey and the face covering his mouth.
Now, let me see what he looks like.
I didn't know that gay dudes called each other dude.
Let me see on your face, bro.
Yeah.
That's weird.
Yeah, that sounds like how you would talk to your buddy,
not your sexual.
I mean, he almost looks a little like El Nino Pollo,
to be honest. Oh, he's a little twink.
He is a twink.
He's a twink.
You would dominate him.
You would sit on his face.
You would smother him with that ass.
You would be the Jordi El Pollo to your Jordi El Pollo. Yeah, you would have him up on your shoulders. We would smother him with that ass. You would be the Jordi Alpoyo to your
Jordi Alpoyo. You would have him up on your shoulders.
We almost look too much alike. I think this is
like... That's a weird looking cat actually.
Yo, but here's the thing.
Here's the thing. If YP was gay,
that ass,
guys would want to fuck that ass.
Big currency.
But if you are...
But if he's
a twink like that, you would be the top.
Yeah.
There's no, that's when the way top of that ass.
I know you're right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, like a girl who has like a great ass, like, you know, like, like porn stars with
great asses, like you got to do anal, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But if you were the bigger guy in the situation, you'd be given, you'd be wasting it.
Listen, I mean, I haven't really, until you said, what's he look, I didn't even look at
the profile. I'm more about the content. You know, that guy was, I mean, I haven't really, until you said, what's he look? I didn't even look at the profile.
I'm more about the content.
You know, that guy was, I'm a little bit weirded out.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
When people are saying like your Insta story made me rock hard.
For some reason, my brain doesn't put together the connection that dancing with your shirt
off and like doing wang flops is going to make some people think that that's a sexual.
Well, that, you know, I mean, there's a, there's plenty of people probably think you're gay.
Yeah. Oh, there's like, oh, you know. Yeah, I mean, there's plenty of people who probably think you're gay. Yeah, oh, there's.
Like, oh, have you seen this new Instagram sensation?
He's this gay guy dancing with a chinchilla with his dick out.
Like, yeah, you seem super gay right now.
Yeah, no, that's happened.
One time I was at a full moon party in Alamorada.
What's that mean?
It's like this sick party on the beach.
It's like a thousand plus people just on this beach.
It's beautiful.
It's like one of the coolest things.
And my sisters were there. It was like a family thing we were like in town and we meet these guys
they were like you know super like jacked like you know whatever and they were like there we go
they were like nice guys whatever and kind of like fidelberg like you know how we like to wrestle
whatever like the way that they were i was like damn these guys must be like you know hockey
players or something like we we have a great vibe.
We're just like boys straight away.
You know what I mean?
So we were hanging out, drinking, everything.
Dude, I was obliterated.
I didn't think anything of it.
And I go to the bathroom and come back, and my sister's like, man, like, what did you tell those dudes?
I'm like, what?
Like, you went to the bathroom.
They're like, where's your gay brother at?
Like, I think I'm going to try to, like, go home with him.
So then these dudes. Wait, so by the way, to back it up, did you wrestle with them? Is that what you're telling me? No, no, I'm going to try to go home with him.
Wait, so by the way, to back it up, did you wrestle with them?
Is that what you're telling me? No, no, I'm saying we were dancing.
That's literally an Always Sunny scene.
No, it was like a...
When Mac and that dude get greased up.
It was like a dance floor, and we'd be kind of bumping into each other,
kind of doing a little...
It was like the boys just firing it up,
but they were really trying to fire it up.
And then they would ask me later, like, where are we going?
I was like, I don't know, man.
I'm going home.
I'm going fishing like this weird, but it wouldn't be the first time that I've been
taken as gay.
So I mean, the, the most, the highest compliment you can get is a gay guy saying, yeah, good
looking.
I mean, I, I, I've told the story of my spin instructor coming to like a party and he asked,
he's like, are you gay? And I was like, no. And he's like, so if I came over there and suck that dick asked he's like are you gay and i was like no
and he's like so if i came over and sucked that dick you're like you wouldn't like it i was like
yeah you can't rape me man yeah but like but to be clear i you saying that great yeah you know
yeah i like that but just don't do it it's a weird position to be in to be like a a porn expert
of like every weird disgusting thing that can happen to a chick and then also be a fake gay guy.
It's like,
which end of the spectrum are we here by the,
I've mentioned this a couple episodes ago.
Have you ever seen Adriana Chachik with the bocce balls in the pool?
Yes.
Okay.
I'm a big,
I would never say this in front of Lana because I know they hate each other and
allegedly,
you know,
allegedly had a altercation at one point in Tampa Bay,
allegedly.
But, um, honestly, Adriana Chachik, I don't want to say it.
She may be the hottest chick in porn.
Adriana Chichik is probably the number one porn star of all time.
Of all time?
I have no problem.
I mean, I don't know, but I would not begrudge you if that was your argument.
Yeah.
She has a strong contender for the throne.
Like how Jenna Jameson was like the queen of hardcore porn, right? grudge you if that was your argument yeah i think she's thrown like like how jenna jenna jameson
was like the queen of hardcore porn right and but what jenna jameson did compared to adrian
chetchik is soft so i've got 100% turned jenna jameson into like skinamax like right you know
like i go back look at jenna jameson video i'm like oh this is what i was for its time it was
incredible it's almost like a movie scene
It's like any athlete
Now you gotta go through different generations
So does that make you think
50 years from now
What the fuck is gonna be going on
You think they're gonna be doing stuff that makes Adriana Cechik look tame
I never thought about that
What if we have a KFC radio
Like in 50 years
What are they gonna do dude
i think about that with with sports all the time like you know will uh like people are throwing 105
now are people gonna throw like 115 one day are people gonna be running the 100 yard dash in like
seven seconds one day yeah right it's just gonna keep getting better you would have to stop
eventually i don't think so i don't think it does. But I mean, no, you're not going to be able to
run a 100-yard dash in one second.
Maybe. That's never going to happen.
I think that is entirely
possible. That'd be like teleporting.
I mean, it won't be for hundreds of years.
Thousands of years. Millions of years
before we can run 100 yards in one second.
Evolution is. I feel like, John,
technically, it will happen at some point.
I mean, I just don't think you can run 100 yards, move 100 yards in one second.
They said you couldn't run a four-minute mile.
They would say, oh, a caveman can never walk upright.
Yeah, I guess so.
But it seems like you'd have to snap your fingers.
Think about it.
There's Giannis.
There's Westbrook.
There's a few genetic freaks that are unbelievable.
How many was there?
Like 20 years?
I'm sure there's more freaks like that. The NBA is definitely like 20 years like i'm sure there's like more
freaks like that like the nba is definitely more athletic yannis i mean the word freak gets thrown
around a lot and i think it's very apropos that's his nickname because he is a actual freak of
nature like what if there's four yannis's a decade from now and then 50 years there's like you know
20 yannis's in the league like it may not be fast but that's definitely gonna happen that's why it's
what people people just see what other people are doing
and have to emulate it.
It used to be like big men.
You just sit under the hoop.
Now, oh, big men can shoot threes,
and big men are athletic and stuff like that.
Like, okay, I got to start learning that
because I'm a kid who's a big man.
And same thing with porn, though.
It's just like, well, I got to put all sorts of stuff in my butt.
Yeah.
Right.
James Jamison was like,
I will allow one condom penis in my butt.
Right.
Every seven shoes.
I remember.
I remember.
I'm putting three un-condom penises in my butt at once.
At the same time.
And blowing some dude.
Yeah.
While like someone else is like smacking her in the titties or something.
There was.
I've seen like a documentary about her.
And she said she that a guy like was on top of her and sweat like
dripped off of him like onto her face and she was like oh jenna jameson yeah yes and she was like
i'm only doing girl scenes from now on like he sweat like it dripped on my face i'm like
i mean they will intentionally spit on you now piss on you yeah right right or not even piss on you they'll piss
in a bowl and you gotta drink it which is like there's some lead-up time to that there's like a
there's a layover and that you know what i mean the piss is in there for like you you have that
extra second to be like am i really gonna do this happening yeah okay unbelievable how's your guys
uh porn on premium experience been lately uh i i, I've been traveling a lot, so I've had to fall off for like a week or so,
but I'm...
Couldn't be me, brother.
I mean, I'm just so down with No Face Girl.
I just can't kick that out.
Really?
Yeah.
You're in a monogamous porn relationship right now?
You got one chick?
She stepped her game up.
She finally went back door. And I'm embarrassed to say that I was ju game up. She finally went back door.
And I'm embarrassed to say that I was juiced up.
There's nothing embarrassing about that.
It's a whole new level.
You have relationships with porn stars now.
You do.
Baby, can we please do anal?
That's crazy, yeah.
When I saw that, I was like, yes!
I was like, this is a big fucking deal.
Dude, I love our account right now.
I got to be honest.
I was never a Pornhub guy before.
I always thought it was kind of like the generic brand.
You know, like they had the Twitter account, everything.
They got a great product.
No, I think they're like the GOAT, and they have that Twitter product and everything for a reason.
Yes.
Yeah, they're actually, I've said this before.
I don't know where.
But I think that Pornhub is actually one of my favorite, most interesting
brands in the world because it's, it's, I think it's the new age Playboy.
Remember Playboy when it started, it was so taboo and so like, ugh, like you can't do
anything with it.
And then like, you know, only, only scumbags went there and we, you know, never was a mainstream
product.
Right.
And then I don't know, 30 years later, 40 years later,
well, the magazine came much sooner.
But then it was the house.
And then it was a television show.
A TV show, yeah.
It became just a brand.
It was very mainstream.
And I think Pornhub's on that trajectory,
where they have streetwear now.
They have pop-up shops.
They have the active Twitter account.
Shout out to my girl, Aria.
They do.
They're doing non-porn content, where Asa has a podcast, and they do that bee video,
like Save the Bees.
Yeah.
They're doing non-porn stuff.
Aria has a vlog.
They do a carpool karaoke thing.
What?
They do like a, it was like Aria, Asa, and like a third porn star was in the back seat.
They don't sing, but they like talk kind of.
That is such a good idea.
Great idea.
They had the same setup with the cameras on the dashboard and everything.
It's amazing.
Shout out to Asa.
Like, thank you guys for bringing her into all of our lives.
Because A, first of all, when I go on my phone, the first name is Asa Kira in the A's.
That's so cool.
Like, sometimes I forget. And then it's like the other night she was on live and the a's that's so cool like sometimes i forget and then
it's like the other night she was on live and i love to go on there and just like comment and i'll
be like hey like i was like who's your favorite like rodent or like something she's like what's
up and i'm like how crazy is this that we can just talk to asakira like she's one of the greatest
at her profession in the whole world you know like amongst all countries everywhere talking
you're talking to greatness wife it's it's like kind of surreal though yeah there is there is like i i i
haven't told you about it yesterday yeah actually but there are keeping secrets there are like
sometimes where no because it's something like it happens all the time but last night was a time
where like it hit me again i'm like this is so weird we're like i've become like friends with
mike brable and so like last night we were just texting and it's basically he's actually like well you know how we talk like my friend
my brother my dad yeah he's my big brother okay because he will just text me he'll be like he i
think he started it last night with just like i can't find the blue jackets game because he's
we've been busting balls that holds all series because he's from ohio yeah and uh he goes can't
find the blue jackets game what channel is that fuck off and it was all
before I had a chance
to respond at all
and then like
and we were just like
started talking about hockey
we started talking about
like all kinds of shit
and I was just sitting
I was like
this is wild
I'm just like
he texted me about the derby
and I'm like
this is wild
and we're just like
the exchange you had
the other day
where you had wrote a blog
like trashed on the Blue Jackets
and you said something like
fuck you
get your resume ready
or something like that
that was funny
he goes this blog sucks just like you get your resume ready
so crazy NFL coach like you know they shouldn't they don't their circles are tight you know they
don't talk to anybody who's like wasting any other time they're like it's 24-7 job and he's
taking the time to just talk to you it's just wild like there are it's kind of one of those
things we and it's like a good time to
reflect on it because of the new office and stuff like that.
But like there are times where you're just like,
this job is fucking crazy,
man.
Yeah.
And it kind of like,
Glenn was like,
I mean,
the same thing happened last night with you.
Yeah.
FaceTime.
Yeah.
Game winning goal scorer.
They FaceTime me.
Let's how crazy is that?
Let's learn about YP and Boris's game seven experience.
A second.
It's brought to you by Postmates.
YP has to stream his entire game now.
It's not even like the last minutes or the last period.
I watched that last night, by the way.
I didn't tell you because I figured you could kind of get in your own head.
I don't like when people I know are watching me.
Yeah.
But I watched it last night.
It was great.
It's weirder if John told me he was watching.
It would have been weirder than seeing like 2,000 people.
I'd be like, what?
Yeah, the one person in your mind.
Yeah.
But you're stuck on your couch.
You can't leave because people need to see you.
You got to stay on camera the whole time.
You can get everything you need.
Postmates did right to your place.
Whatever you need.
Maybe you can get some chinchilla food delivered.
Who knows?
That's a good idea.
There's a chance they could even do that because there's 25,000 companies, merchants, restaurants, whatever you want to call it,
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Last night is two nights ago at the time you're listening to this.
The Blues take down the Stars in Game 7.
YP was streaming his entire game.
Double OT.
And your boy and the St. Louis hometown hero puts in the rebounds.
By the way, I mean, shout out to your boy.
But, like, i feel like uh whoever
the other guy gets more credit i mean he was a great play i mean it's one of those things gotta
be there to put it in but you don't get more credit because if that room's out there it's not
no i know but it's like especially with the way bishop's playing that could have sat there and
then gone the other way and been a goal it's like it doesn't matter and so what happened right before
like the puck like oh my god it was as close as it can get to knock one.
It may be missed by half an inch.
The whole puck has to go over?
You got to see white between the lines of the puck.
But it's not even just that.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
Sorry, John, that's a great point.
Bennington's pad was in the net,
so he hit the part that wasn't in the net.
If it hits any part of that in the net, even if you save it, you know,
like from an eye test, you'd be like, oh, he saved it.
If it goes behind the line, it's in.
If it's angled, if that puck comes in at like four degrees different,
it goes into the net.
Yeah.
I swear to – I mean –
That's going to kill.
John, you know from –
You're going to think about that for the rest of your life, you know?
Oh, I mean, I'm sitting here nervous.
I'm watching it from New York.
If that's off your
stick i mean you don't sleep for six months yeah that i mean that you don't sleep for six months
if it's a high school play yes if it's uh to game seven overtime yeah that's that's your career you
think about that every game the rest of your life it's unbelievable too and it's like i mean the
whole thing is like and you know in this job either it's's Mets, like when they went to the World Series,
like Patriots every single year when they go to the Super Bowl.
So I actually don't feel that bad for John.
But like this job, it's weird because before I was always a fan,
obviously like my parents, their first date was a Blues game.
So it's like it's been in my body literally before they even knew each other.
I was conceived at a Bruins game.
No way.
Look at that. Shout out to Papa Feinberg. Wait, what? a Bruins game. No way. Look at that.
Shout out to Papa Fartberg.
Wait, what?
In the bathroom?
I don't think I knew that.
No, it was the night of.
I've told this theory before.
Ray Borsch retired.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
But I...
No, no, no.
At the stadium.
That's what I thought you meant.
That's probably how I said it, but no, it's not.
You were like a Barstool blog before when there's like,
is this couple fucking in the bathroom? Like was john but anyways it you always care but
like when you're in this job it's like you care so it's such an elevated level now like your
personal like pride is on the line you're right you're you're your content's on the line but it's
you're performing a little bit but you're also still just a fan this is your first time in the
mix too because like the the outside pride this is your first time ever because the
rams have been gone as long as you've been here unfortunately yes um this is your first time like
you get like the chirping and then you get like the merch uh even having the boris like not only
are you doing it as the st louis represent like fan representing but you're coming up you have
this you have a hook, you have this angle,
Boris, and you're on the Jumbotron and all that shit.
That was an accident.
That was not something.
Well, that's always how it is.
The best ones are the most organic ones.
I was on the first game versus Winnipeg.
I did electric chair because they were losing,
kind of as like a watch me die type of thing,
you know, like how we do.
They tied it and then scored at the end,
and their blue salt
like goal song has been you know since january whatever i put it on that's not a historic thing
no okay it's this year with this team and honestly i just put it on started dancing with the and like
it was funny and then after as barcelona is you can do stuff on live stream but some people see
it i'm like oh i gotta make a separate video for twitter definitely did it put it up really didn't
think anything of it and because it was such a dramatic victory whatever it started
getting traction you're just like what the fuck like i'll go fish and or jump in with some gator
or something you'll get like 30 likes or something i'm like what the fuck man like i almost died for
this then i just danced with my rat in my wang out yeah and it gets a bajillion views and you're
like what is happening and it's
just honestly special because like on top of it like you just as you said it's kind of a whole
test of your entire like operation like you know you got to be good at shirts you got to be blogging
you got to be tweeting are your tweets funny can you make material like video content that
then gets on the blog can you monetize it can you come up with like a you know gets on the blog. Can you monetize it? Can you come up with like a, you know, even,
uh,
the way you're doing,
what is it like let Boris dance or something?
Let him out.
Like the,
that whole thing is like,
it's,
it's not,
you know,
we're,
we're not trying to win the game.
We're trying to see Boris dance.
It just happens to be that the way you do that is by winning the game.
The craziest thing was I saw,
I clicked the hashtag this morning.
There was a ton of people tweeting hashtag let Boris dance that don't follow me. Yeah didn't at me that that's when it yeah they don't know when when things become
when they don't know it's a barstool thing and actually the best is sometimes when they when
they learn that like that happened with me in big sexy and i like known enemies were calling
him big sexy and someone would be like you know that's a barstool thing and they were like fuck
you know like ha gotcha bitch yeah exactly like this is hilarious so i love this and then you're like wait i thought you like hate all people from here
like i thought they're all bad people yeah it's crazy and honestly i'm just grateful like at the
end of the day it's such a fun ass thing and that's why like last night you know a lot of people when
we film ourselves electric chair whatever you know that it's real like when you had the face
of not to bring it up but that was the realest face you're like that's the emotion the tendency is to see a clip on twitter and be like oh they're
acting or this is staged first of all it's on live stream for four and a half hours so if you don't
think i was excited when one of my good friends pots a goal in front of national tv like you're
a moron but number two it's like everything is elevated because not only is this a content thing, a merch thing,
it's kind of like your entire life revolves around it for that time, especially during the playoffs.
And you feel like, as dumb as it is, you feel somehow not responsible, but it's like, you're like, oh my god.
You're a part of it.
Yes, you're like, oh, like players are on the team.
You're on the jumbotron during the game now.
All the fans know Boris.
I'm sure players on the team, especially because you know them personally, are, like, aware of it.
But they're, like, DMing me after the game, like, get the rat out or this or that.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
Like, it's such a double thing.
And honestly, last night, like, the craziest thing is, like, we were doing videos with Pat that have never come out that are, like, crazy shit.
Maybe I'll put them out in a few months.
But, like, stuff that, you know, Ryan ATVs, drunk, doing all this stupid stuff, like fishing.
Pat Maroon's afraid of bluegill.
Like, the funniest thing, the guy's 6'3", like 240.
He literally wouldn't pick a bluegill up, like, we're fishing stuff.
So, like, I've been doing this stuff with this dude, like, from 20, you know, whatever these first videos.
And then to see that come full circle last night was one of the craziest things and i'm
sitting there after the game blogging tweeting you know literally just in my underwear like with
the rat running around everywhere chewing up cords and shit he chewed up the fucking fan and like we
have no fans just dead silent now and i'm like fuck but it's fine and i get a facetime from pat's
fiance who i was texting during the game because Because, you know, she's nervous.
I'm nervous.
Like, come on.
And I told her before the second OT, she was like, I can't breathe.
I was like, Francesco, Pat.
I literally said, the big rig is coming through right now.
Trust me.
Obviously, I was like, hoping.
But I kind of like was just thinking.
And fucking five minutes later, so she FaceTized me.
And I'm just sitting there like what Feinberg is saying with Vrabel.
And I'm like, I almost was like thinking I was like on acid or something I'm like wait hold
on I'm you know what I mean you're like talking to him like is this real right now it's like he's
my boy it's not like that crazy but it's like to be watching something on a laptop from a thousand
miles away and then be on facetime from the car it's something that when I was growing up if you
know when David Freeze hit the home run or
like any big like moments that happen in your sports history you're like I'm I'm in this now
like what the fuck is going on it's the most surreal thing in the world like I'm in the car
with him driving home from the thing on FaceTime and he's like dude let me see Boris like let me
talk to him what is happening I was awesome moment yeah with his kid too when or not not even them when he when
he saw him but when the kid was crying in the stands that was great it's crazy and like i don't
know how much uh kfc radio audience knows about like i don't want to just be talking about such
a niche thing but like pat literally like he's he's one of the most genuine people as far as like
you know how many people like the nba players or or that, like there's a lot of like hoopla in sports nowadays.
The dude is really just like when they say big rig,
he's just like a giant guy that just like.
And he's from St. Louis, right?
He's a hometown boy, so he's doing it for his city.
He likes drinking beers and like mucking in the corners and like,
you know what I mean?
It's kind of refreshing to see someone that's just simple.
Like he just likes doing that and like it comes through,
you know what I mean?
And the thing that's cool is last summer when he so he played for the devils last year people forget he was one of the
you know main i'm not gonna put it on him but there was a few reasons why i got in big trouble
when i had the part at the office but there were some people who were convincing me more than
others and he may have been in that group so i almost got fired for him it was it was my fault
the other day but you know what
i mean anyways so he was played for the devils and there was a lot of thought that he was going
to come back right like when i talked to him in the summer me and my girlfriend went to dinner
with him and we were like he's like yeah i think i'm going to play you know devils or rangers we're
talking to him the most and he's like but the blues and i was like how insane would that be
to play because you know we're both hockey players from st louis like we've all grown up doing that come you didn't go bro bro you know there's always
there's always a chance kevin right we've talked about this before there's always a chance anyways
and i was like dude how fucking insane you know like it'd be like you talking to your friends
like imagine if you play you know for the bruins like so i was like dude imagine you played for
the blues and we sat there we looked at each other and i was like that would be crazy but we didn't
know so he hired he fired his agent there was a lot of like drama over
because he thought he was going to get a bigger deal that kind of set him up for life there's a
lot of drama at the end of the day he was like you know what i'm going to take less money and just go
play for the blues whatever contract they'll give me like one year to be with his son who you know
his son is he's he's like nine years old i believe now and like you
know he's been living there while pat's going all around the country playing for edmonton like
anaheim not exactly close places and to see it come to fruition like that it's like when people
see the clip of his son crying they may not know it's like that's like a saga years went into that
yeah yeah and it's it's cool it's like as much as we like joke around in sports,
like we're more liable to like laugh about like James Harden flopping or something.
It's like sometimes you forget like the actual humans behind it.
It's like that is so fucking cool, man.
Some people might say there's some things that are bigger than sports.
Yeah, exactly.
But it's like we joke, but it's like, damn, that's pretty fucking cool.
It's fucking true, man.
And that's like why it's like as dumb as it is, it's like, oh, why do you care about a team?
It's like it's not just that.
Like when I go to the city like last weekend, all of my dad's friends, everyone's just buzzing.
Like, you know, it's bigger than just a fucking game.
Yeah, I mean, sports are stupid, but then like the culture that comes around it is important shit.
In my dad, like there's this one vendor he goes to before the game.
Every single same guy has been going to for years years he showed me a text from the other day he was like he was
like dave you have no idea like how big this is since i was a little boy i've been dreaming of
the blues like you know winning a tie it's like people have you know 50 years of a no cups is like
we got people who are like 49 years old who have never once seen a blue Stanley Cup.
It's like, that's a long fucking time to be a functioning human and never see something.
It's crazy.
My grandpa was born like 34.
Yeah.
Like, you know, it's like, Kevin, you know, it's like.
I mean, I'll get to 50.
Mets are not going to win a World Series in 15 years.
Mets are not going to win a World Series ever.
You don't know.
You're probably right.
In my heart of hearts, I genuinely think that. Okay, John, Mr. Douchebag going for three in one
year.
I talked about how I was watching
you last night, and I envied you
all the joy you had, because
there are points of it
now, because of the work aspect of
it, there are points of it now where it becomes
more of a relief. Like, oh, fuck, we did win thank god because you do you like talk shit and you like the boston
slams coming which i think is off the table now with the celtics but the you know still three in
a row would be crazy and like at points or even even like the patriots i get very happy every
time but there's also a part of me too where i'm like god thank god they pulled it off because
you know like it's you we've boston fans have created such enemies in the sports world
which is like it's you don't have like your your uh fucking like the team you played chirping you
or you don't have like your enemy chirping you you have the rest of the country trips
so it's it's literally become boston versus everyone so a lot of times it is just like a
oh you sit back and relax.
And that's how, actually, I remember I was not our first one
because the Pats had already won three or two at that point.
But in 04, the Red Sox in 04, where it was like,
I remember watching in the basement with my dad and my mom and my brother.
And it was like, it wasn't a get up like, ah!
It was like a, oh, they did it.
It's like, yeah, it happens a lot like that now with, with, well, you know, it's a weird thought.
I was talking to Karabas about this.
I mean, we will never watch sports like alone or whatever you want to call it, like ever
again, really.
You know what I mean?
Like, if, if, if the Mets do make some sort of run ever or the Jets or the Knicks, it's
like, I'll be doing electric chairs or the
cameras will be on.
We'll never be able to just
watch it alone or with our buddies.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It is weird too. Even just sitting on my couch
by myself last night,
you forget that they're there sometimes
but it is very
weird because people being like
oh, this is stage or this or that it's
like once you're on live stream in every single play is like yeah you are gonna react like that
dude and yeah and if you can act if you could act in those circumstances then like give you the oscar
you know what i mean under that because uh but my point was that like i think i would have to bring
i think my mom would have to do the electric chair that'd be if there was like a game seven
of the world series or even even any of the World Series,
I don't think I could watch it without my mom
or be on the phone with her at the very least all the time.
I think I'd be like, Mom, you've got to come to the office.
You remember when Smitty wanted to go to the game there
and there was a whole thing where Dave was like,
you didn't blog after the NFC championship, whatever it was.
I was at the time doing stool scenes and just like,
oh, Smitty, what a lazy...
But then you start to see the other side. My dad had tickets. Obviously, it's. Yeah. I was like at the time doing stool scenes and just like, you know, Smitty, like what a lazy, but then like you start to see the other side.
Like my dad had tickets.
Obviously it's a Tuesday.
Like I wasn't,
but like if that was on a Friday or Saturday and I could have gone home for
that,
it's like,
how are you going to like,
I totally turned down these moments where my dad like taught me how to
skate and we've gone to blues games.
I'm a little kid.
It's like,
fuck man.
Like not going.
Now I see how much of a kick in the
nuts that is and it's just crazy because like like you said like your mom and everything i almost
think obviously winning a million titles is like the goal for everybody but there is something to
be said for like you know and from personal experience the cardinals have been lucky enough
to win a lot while i've been you know like kind of conscious like a middle school high school
in contrast with the blues it almost feels ten times stronger
when it's never happened before.
Oh, yeah.
The Blues are historically shitty, right?
They're good, but have never won.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the Mets winning would be so much more impactful.
You can't even imagine a world.
I literally can't.
That's what's crazy about it.
It's almost like magic.
Still got a long way to go, though.
Huge.
That's what's crazy about hockey. It's almost like magic. Still got a long way to go, though. Huge. That's what's crazy about hockey.
Halfway.
Yeah, right.
And like, you know, a double OT game seven, that should be it.
Like, yeah, give us the cup.
And it's like, you know, you have a long way to go.
And now it's with the best of the best.
If I was a double OT, like Stanley Cup game seven, I would have the referees arrested.
Yeah.
This is illegal what you're doing.
Yeah. At that point, I would rather you. Cig This is illegal what you're doing. Yeah.
To a man.
Like at that point,
I would rather you cigarettes to a humongous group of people.
I would rather you like,
like just blow,
blow a call and like give someone a power play and get this over with.
Cause I can't be doing triple quadruple overtime type shit.
No,
get the fuck out. I was literally lightheaded as dumb as that seems.
No,
I believe in like legitimately I felt physically affected by,
because it's every second. Yeah. It could end. And that's, I believe it, man. Like, legitimately, I felt physically affected by it because it's every second.
Yeah.
It could end at any—
That's what's crazy about hockey is that at any moment, if they're in the zone, like, forget it.
And also what you said about the NHL playoffs being hard.
It's like, no offense to the Patriots, but it's like they win two games, right, and get to the Super Bowl.
It's like the—
Yeah, two.
Like, it's kind of like over and done in like a week's time.
They go from like, what's going to happen to in the Super Bowl?
Like, this is like two and a half
months. It's a whole extra season, man. It's crazy, man.
I'm sure afterwards you laid down, you went
to sleep, and you got underneath your calming
comfort weighted blanket.
The only way you can relieve the anxiety
and the stress of a Stanley Cup run
or get to bed after you've been
all excited from a double OT
Game 7 thriller is you hop underneath
that weighted blanket and it all just melts away.
Yeah.
I don't know how they do it too,
because every time I tell people about the way to blanket,
they don't have one yet.
It's the same thing.
The very first question is,
don't you get hot?
And I don't know how they do it,
but you don't like you get under this blanket and it's extra heavy and it
wraps you up,
puts you in this little cocoon and you feel comfortable,
but you don't,
I don't, I don't get hot.
I don't sweat.
I think this is the most important trend I've ever started.
It very well might be.
There is another one that folks would argue is a pretty big one.
I think this is the most important thing I've ever started.
Countless people are asking about it now, and it's legitimate life-changing.
Saturday Night Live was fun. it's legitimate life-changing. It's not just because it's fun.
I bring it.
This is legitimate life-changing.
Yeah, there's a difference between fun
and you leaving an impact on the world.
I grab mine.
I bring it out to the couch.
I lug around my little baby back bitch 15-pounder,
but I bring it to the couch with me.
I lug it back to the bed with me.
It goes everywhere I go.
I brought it to the office for Game of Thrones.
I was like, I'm going to hop on this recliner.
I need to be nice and cozy for Thrones.
I'm bringing my way to blanket with me. And so you got I was like, I'm going to hop on this recliner. I need to be nice and cozy for Thrones. I'm bringing my weighted blanket with me.
And so you've got to get yourself involved.
It changes your life.
And you can get a 15, 20, 25-pounder.
You can get extra 10-pounders if you want to add on a couple extra weights.
And it comes with a 90-day anxiety-free, stress-free, best night's sleep guarantee.
And it comes from the sharper image, so you know it is legit.
You use the promo code KFC at checkout, and you get 15% off the displayed price.
So go to CalmingComfortBlanket.com and use the code KFC.
That's CalmingComfortBlanket, CCB.com, and use the promo code KFC for 15% off your order.
We'll do some voicemails later in the show.
We got a couple interviews for you.
We got Ted Alexandro, and we got cover girl, Sports Illustrated cover model,
Camille Kostic, which is very surreal.
I mean, I know it's Camille.
I know that we're friends with her, and she's been around,
but the fact that we get the Sports Illustrated cover model the day that the
news comes out is absolutely stunning.
So we'll talk to them a little bit later.
But first, voicemails with your boy, YP.
What do we got first?
What's up, KFC?
Spice, Super Producer BC.
First time, long time.
So Friday night, me and the boys sitting around, throwing out some hypotheticals.
We came up with a good one that we thought you guys would like.
So if you had to suck on your buddy's toe for five minutes,
which condiment would you choose to make it more tolerable?
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Suck on your buddy's toe for five minutes.
You got to just pick the most overwhelming of condiments.
Hot sauce, mustard, something that just takes the taste.
Five minutes to suck on anything is crazy town.
Five minutes.
Yeah, that is.
I bite a Tootsie Roll after three licks.
Hey, have you tried
to brush your teeth for a full two minutes i've got a quip toothbrush you put you push the button
so it starts to vibrate and it gives you a two minute program hard out yeah like like it actually
it pauses and it's like that means like shift to the top and then it pauses that means shift to
the other side a full two minutes of. I ain't got time for that.
By the end, my mouth is filled with toothpaste.
My arm's tired.
I'm like, I got places to be.
Yeah, it is crazy.
You just did Adrian Tadzik's scene.
So two minutes is a lot.
Five minutes of toe sucking.
I mean.
I mean, like, I guess a toe suck isn't that bad, though. Like 30 seconds or five minutes is the same thing for me.
I thought you were down with the toe sucking, but not your buddy, obviously.
Well, yeah.
I mean, not my fucking buddy.
I'm pictured Fidelberg's toe.
But you know what I mean?
Like inherently.
If I had a girl's legs up around my shoulders and her foot's flapping around my face, I'd fucking bite that thing.
But would you give it a two minute?
Would you give it like a two minute toe job?
I just think it's not the grossness of it that bothers me.
It's just the duration.
It's like 30 seconds.
Once the toe's in your mouth, the toe's in your mouth.
Got it.
Great point.
You can leave it there forever.
We talk about that with toothbrushes.
If I forget a toothbrush and I'm in your house, guess what?
I'm using your toothbrush.
I won't tell you about it.
I'm just going to take it and use it.
Definitely.
Did you use it at my apartment before when you stayed there that one night?
I did not.
Probably.
No, I didn't brush my teeth that day. I i would easily i lived like i live like don't you
look at me like that but yeah i would and but the thing is too like bro you don't even change your
socks to your boxers you're gonna be all high and mighty about germs and shit now once i get it in
my mouth i just i just quickly put it in my mouth and i'm like well there you go my germs have
overtaken it all now so i don't really worry worry about grossness of it. Once I get a toe in my mouth, I'm like...
Might as well leave it in for...
Getbarcelogle.com.
And then I probably just...
You just did like a snapping turtle motion.
Well, all right.
How about this?
Which toe would you put in?
Pointer toe.
Second to the big?
Yeah.
I think you either got to go pinky or big.
I don't want one in the middle.
Pinky's disgusting. Pinky toes are so gross. Because they get curved big? Yeah. I think you either got to go pinky or big. I don't want one in the middle. Pinky's disgusting.
Pinky toes are so gross because they get, like, curved over.
Yeah.
They do get smashed.
Maybe it's just, like, my feet because they've been, like –
Bro, I feel like the pointer toe is the worst one.
I don't want any toe –
Let me see your pinky.
I can't even see it.
Put it up on the table.
Put it up on the table for the people, YP.
See, I think – you know what it is?
Look at that.
The pinky toe.
Look at that folded end of it.
Pinky toes look like a little baked potato.
Actually, yours looks like a little lollipop because it looks skinny,
and then it gets like a little bulb on top.
I would suck on that thing.
But I'm still going.
I'm going aisle seats.
I'm not going with any middle seats.
I'm either going big toe or because you have less toe.
Yes, and less like rubbing.
You go in the middle.
That toe is surrounded by other toes.
But that doesn't – I mean, it's all in the sock.
It doesn't matter.
But the outside toes are the ones that get squished with, like, skates or boots.
But your big toe is strong enough to withhold that.
No, but they're both calloused.
They are calloused, but John, like –
I almost like that better.
I want to suck on a calloused rather than a soft, supple toe.
A fleshy toe?
Yeah.
No thanks.
It's like putting a rock in your mouth.
You'd rather suck a hard dick versus a limp dick thing?
Yes.
Probably.
I would rather suck a hard dick than a limp dick.
Big little squishy dick.
Like folding around in your mouth?
A hard dick.
Give me a hard dick in my mouth.
A hard dick might as well be like a ruler, cucumber.
It's like who knows what it is.
It's like an ice pop.
A soft dick you're sucking on a big tube of flesh.
I agree.
Kevin Clancy's making a lot of good points right now.
But you have the hardness of this.
It's just a more tender dick.
Yeah, I don't want a tender toe or a tender dick.
I want a hard, I want it to be like a...
But the two outside toes are the gross toes.
Inside...
No.
The inside toe is like surrounded by toe jam and sweat.
I don't even know what toe jam means.
I've never had any of that shit ever.
You wear socks?
You ever get like lint in your toes?
No, I don't think so.
Inside toes, like you said, they're in the mix.
It's like a middle seat on a plane.
It's like you get elbows on each side.
Just eliminate one thing.
You know, when you go to park in a parking lot and you have one near like the grass or
whatever.
Yeah.
Just eliminate one.
You don't have to worry about how wide your turn is because it's nothing on the other
end.
I don't have to worry about another toe rubbing up on there.
Yeah.
I think condiment.
My final answer would be some spicy brown mustard because that like overpowers the any
other.
I always go. I mean overpowers any other potential.
My favorite condiment, Sweet Baby Ray's.
Barbecue sauce, dude?
Yeah.
Terrible answer. What are you talking about?
Sweet Baby Ray's is hot sauce and barbecue sauce. It's delicious. It's great, but why would you put it on a tote?
I wouldn't put any condiment on a tote.
I'd want to put, like Kevin's saying,
something overpowering.
This is overpowering. It's hot sauce and barbecue sauce.
It's two very powerful flavors.
I mean, that just seems like a delectable thing that you'd want to like put on delicious,
like some chicken, like a pulled chicken.
That's what I'm picturing.
Yeah, I mean, not ideally, but if I had to pick and put it on a toe.
We're talking about utility right now.
I would probably do some sort of like overpowering hot sauce that would just blind my mouth.
Yes. Because then it's like numb. You know what I mean? I would probably do some sort of like overpowering hot sauce that would just blind my mouth.
Because then it's like numb.
You know what I mean?
Are we in agreement that obviously the absolute worst would be mayonnaise?
I was thinking about saying that just to see what you guys would say.
I mean, mayonnaise on a toe is just absolutely vile.
Yeah, that's puke city.
Next up.
KFC, flight super producer, BC.
So I had a little bit of a situation I was thinking about.
Back before my girl and I were fishing together, we were hooking up
and I guess she
thought, you know, I'm not saying
I do, but she
decided to show her friend a little
dick pic that I sent her,
which is kind of weird in itself,
but when they're looking at it, one of them happened
to swipe in her camera roll
and saw a little video action,
you know,
beating my meat.
And so I'm just wondering what you guys think of this.
Like,
do I,
should I break up with her?
Not all of her friends have seen that.
Do I fuck all of her friends?
What are your thoughts on this?
I don't think,
geez,
there's a big there.
Do I fuck all of her friends?
I mean, this depends on your dick, right?
If you've got a great dick and all your girlfriend's friends have seen it,
I think you kind of walk into the party like, what's up, girls?
Yeah, you've seen it, but it's awesome.
If you've got a shitty dick.
I've had this happen before.
Yeah?
It's okay.
You don't have to talk about it, but you just kind of.
You know that all your girlfriend's friends have seen it.
It's almost like being a porn star.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, you know how porn stars say, like, I like when I, like, walk into a room and...
All eyes are kind of...
Guys are like, how do I know that from?
Yeah.
And I'm like, I'm kind of like hanging around.
I'm like, I know you've seen my dick.
It's kind of liberating.
But, so, that, that surprises me.
You've got enough dick confidence that you're, like, not, you're not stressed out that they've
seen your dick.
I mean, I don't have a magnificent dick, but it's enough where I'm just like, yeah, you've seen my dick.
What are you going to do?
Well, I don't even understand his question.
Like what was his –
Just what do I do?
I mean he said, should I break up with her?
You don't do anything now.
You just be like, yeah, what are you going to do?
I mean if you had a terrible dick and your friends are like – and your girlfriend's friends are like snickering about you, I could see that you maybe would want to break up
with them. Yeah, I mean if your girlfriend is fucking
showing her and telling your friends
about your greatest insecurities
then you break up with them, yes
So that's what I said, I think it all depends on your dick
It's bad, but it's almost like
the evil you know, like say that starts
spreading, like it depends where this guy lives
if it's like a small, if it's New York
I'd say just do a shift change, get everyone out,
break up with her,
go to a new friend group.
Yeah.
If you live like I know in St.
Louis,
everybody knows everybody.
If,
if word gets around and we,
why did you break up?
It's like,
cause everyone's seen my tiny,
he's got a tiny little dick.
You may have a bigger problem.
I have to move.
Yeah.
Forget about breakups.
You guys like,
I need a new identity.
I think if you got a tiny little,
I think you have to have a noteworthy dick.
Okay.
So I know.
So even if you have a super small dick,
you can almost roll with that as a joke.
I'm coming back on that.
A mediocre dick is pretty bad though.
I know what you're saying.
But if you're known as just like,
you have a micropedic.
I think most people,
it's,
it's,
you're,
you know,
that's the guy who sucks toes,
his friend's toes.
Like it's,
it's a non-starter for a lot of people.
Yeah.
Like I'm not even going to invest my time.
I know his personality. It's not enough
that I want to know more about him.
I'm not going to invest my time in him
because he's got a little tiny dick.
That's a tough one. There's not a lot of good answers
when you've got a micro-penis.
You know what I mean?
Nothing good. Your whole life is going to be pretty shit.
Either people have seen it or haven't seen it.
I just can't even imagine.
Cuckold porn,
if you have a micro penis,
cuckold porn is like
your only option.
Yeah.
I can't even imagine,
you know,
like a,
aren't micro penises
like two inches?
Aren't they like,
no,
not even?
No,
it's like,
it's like a,
baby carrot.
Yeah.
And then they say
it's like a,
like a thumb sticking out.
You're just like sticking out.
I mean,
that's crazy.
I've never seen one of those.
Yeah,
that's, I mean, I've Googled them. I've never seen one of those. Yeah, that's crazy.
I mean, I've Googled them.
I've never seen one in a locker room.
It's on Google?
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to Google it right now.
Because, you know, if you have like a four-inch dick, that sucks.
But, like, you can still, like, live, you know?
And guess what?
You can't have sex with these.
That's what I'm saying.
You know what you do?
You just find a chick that is like a virgin or something and doesn't know that you have a tight, like a, you know what I mean?
No, I mean, it's 2019, man.
People have Google.
People watch porn.
People know what penises look like. Oh, dude. I can't believe this is real.
This is more like a deformity.
Holy cow.
A pig in a blanket's bigger than these things.
Yeah. I wish this wasn't
on my phone, to be honest. I wish I hadn't Googled this.
Well, go show it to the camera. It's barcelogle.com
slash K. No.
No? Never mind. Not allowed to.
Getting the veto there.
I guess we can't show dicks.
It's the point of having a subscription service.
We can't show fucking penises on it.
I mean, you can show normal-sized penises, not that little micro-penis thing.
By the way, as I'm on Google here, Google Images, they have average penis sizes from all the different countries.
Ireland clocking in at five inches.
Pretty solid.
Yeah.
Like, there's other ones that are smaller.
So maybe, oh man, Korea is tough.
What is it?
3.8.
Oh, I was going to go low force.
3.8?
If you're in the threes with your dick.
That's like running a 640.
How fucking fun.
That's like you're off the draft board, man.
Yeah, that's just like you're out of the league, dude.
Why are those all black?
Are they just shaped like dicks?
Are they just dildos?
Yeah, I think so.
But some of them are shaped really funny.
Look at that one.
It's like a...
That thing is...
Oh, yeah.
That one.
It looks like a torpedo.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine us going to Korea and just being like Mandingo
with like a big old schlong.
My brother went to Korea.
He was...
I'm sorry, he went to Japan.
He was... I got raised there for a second.
He was in Australia and convinced my parents.
He's like, I'm right here.
Like, might as well get me a flight to Japan for, you know, like a weekend.
It's a nine hour flight.
It wasn't like a pond skip.
Yeah.
But he went from, he was studying abroad in Australia.
And he went from a Halloween party to Japan.
And he – like his flight was early in the morning, so he went from like the bar to the airport.
And I think you met my brother, right?
You met Betty.
I love your brother, dude.
And he's a big kid.
He's a big boy.
And he went as –
Thicky, thicky.
He went as the Hulk.
So he was painted green on a flight to Japan.
I mean,
that's just irresponsible.
With a bunch of Japanese people.
He's like Godzilla,
bro.
And then he got off walking through the Japanese airport with like cut sleeves,
painted green.
Who travels like that?
I mean,
that,
yo,
that is a crazy move though.
I mean,
I know what you're saying,
studying abroad,
but like to be like,
I'm painted green. I'll hop on a plane. Like I'm surprised they even let him i would just be like no go home this
is crazy he's like i was like walking through the airport just like like nipples above everybody
like it's not even like head and shoulders he's like i'm nipples above everybody painted green
dude i get nervous when i take like a three-hour flight i gotta like i make sure i like don't eat
beforehand i like taking that a nine hour flight,
just hopping on drunk,
green,
drunk as the Hulk.
That's one of the dead serious.
That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life.
Could you imagine if you just,
you're sitting,
you know,
you're reading a book and,
and like someone's coming down the aisle,
like,
excuse me,
sir,
I'm on the window seat.
You look up and it's the fucking Hulk.
I'd get off.
Yeah.
And especially if you were like a little asian dude
and it's nine hours perfect storm of funny your brother that's one of the weirdest things i've
ever heard i'm dead serious to to think that that's socially i can't believe you're allowed
to fly painted green out of all the things you can't do australia is probably a little different
right i mean they had 9-11 and stuff like that i would imagine that stuff's a little lesser there
i don't know if i saw a dude going through security painted green,
peace, dude.
I'll drive.
No way.
I'd rather anybody else be on the plane.
You can come with all your Middle Eastern stereotypes
before I sit down with the fucking Hulk.
Bring an AK-47.
You're checking their ID.
You're like, okay, well, you're not green in this one,
but I guess it's you.
That would never fly. Can you stop being angry
for a second so you get back to normal?
Imagine trying to fly from LaGuardia like that.
No chance. They'd be like, what are you doing?
Shout out to Australia. That's awesome.
I had once, I was flying home from the Bahamas.
I had a
flight attendant, or it wasn't TSA.
It was like, will you check your bag?
And I had them give me mints and tell me
I was the drunkest person they'd ever seen. They just like anyway go ahead yeah yeah they're like yeah take
some mints you look just beyond fucked up thanks for the help sharon did he did he just get off
and go to the hotel and shower or what like what was this gameplay what do you how fly was the
hulk i think he was there for like a week he was meeting my uncle there but my uncle wasn't
coming till monday but he went saturday so he he hung out by himself in Japan for two days.
But I guess he said he did some roaming around.
I don't know if it was as the Hulk or not.
I mean, as a family that like John Fidelberg is one of the weirder story people of all time,
that may be the craziest Fidelberg story I've ever heard.
Yeah.
No, I mean, that puts a lot of your other ones to shame, man.
Dude, the thing that's crazy, too, is, like,
did he have a bag already packed?
Like, the logistics are driving me crazy.
I believe he just took a backpack.
He's not a packer.
He's not.
Clearly.
He's not much of a planner, yeah.
He rolled up to the Super Bowl, bro.
He came to the Super Bowl in a Brady jersey
with a toothbrush in his pocket.
I do remember that.
He was there for a weekend.
Your brother? Bro, we were just like, like, a toothbrush in his pocket. I do remember that. He was there for a weekend. Your brother?
Bro, we were just like, like, he pulls out his pocket.
Going through TSA, just like, all right, pet that, wallet, cell phone, toothbrush, here
we go.
Dude, we were standing in the house, and he just, it was Friday night, you know, before
Super Bowl weekend.
He goes, dude, they fucking got it, dude.
He just, like, headbutts me or something.
He's, like, hammered.
I was like, man, dude, what the fuck?
He's like, dude, I'm so fired up, man.
I put my head through this wall right now, dude.
He does that a lot.
Dude, dude.
Yeah, and then he just went downstairs and your dad outed him.
Supposedly he pissed all the way on the floor, all the way through the mattress, everything.
Caleb or someone was sleeping and said they saw him stand up like a urinal just pissing.
Oh, well, that's a Feidelberg move.
That's a family move.
He comes outside and we thought we had some sort of, like,
you know, stool scenes drama or something.
And Dave was out there and we're like, who pissed?
And then your dad comes out.
He's like, what happened?
He's like, oh, somebody, like, pissed all over downstairs.
He's like, oh, that was definitely Ben, dude.
That's a Ben move, man.
That's a Feidelberg move.
I know he did it.
We're like, wait, your son?
He's like, oh, yeah, it was him.
Oh, okay.
No shame.
Last one.
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KFC, Fights, BC, I have a story for you guys about i guess just how weird the other humans
on this planet are um so last weekend i was at a bar uh in in dallas where i live and was overhearing
this guy talking at the bar super loudly to this girl um just saying about how you know he had a
miss christmas christmas with his family um at one point because he had food poisoning, but it turned out to be E. coli.
The more I heard him talk, the more I realized that it was just Fights' E. coli Christmas story, which is a banana's move to just plagiarize that story.
The girl was eating it up entirely, like, oh, I'm so sorry, that's so terrible, whatever. So my question for you guys is, how often do you think that you guys get plagiarized in everyday life?
And what story do you think gets stolen most often?
All right.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Congrats on a new office and viva.
Thank you.
That's something.
Stealing the E. coli Christmas story and pawning it off as your own.
That's a strange story to pawn off, by the E. coli Christmas story and pawning it off as your own. That's a strange story to pawn off, by the way.
I'm still not offended by this at all.
You shouldn't be.
But I think of it...
You should almost be flattered.
I think of my stories as, like, jokes.
So I think it's cool,
and I think it's, like, totally fine
to just steal them and use them.
No.
If someone tells you a joke... A joke is very different than a story i just think of it like
that i get it no no no no you tell your story you're saying that because you think of your
stories as entertainment you're telling them to people to like laugh and and and or or be horrified
or make fun of you or whatever the reaction is you're just telling the story to elicit a reaction
to say why you tell a joke to get a reaction but a story is proprietary a story is yours it's i mean
i don't care if you want to go do it but i think you're just lame if you do it i'm not gonna be
mad but i'm gonna be like what the that's strange yeah that's like why it's why jay peterman bought
you know i want to have you want to have good stories and if you haven't you bitch pay me yeah
yeah you should get royalties everyone can start
venmoing me i will you want to use the story at the bar 15 bucks yeah venmo me there you go i just
think it's stories are one of the most like um prestigious things in human life your whole life
like you should i'm surprised john has this attitude because your entire life is like
doing crazy shit and then like using it for you
know what i mean it's like for the story like not do he doesn't do it for the story but it's like
he does it and then it happens that way you know i started carrying little notebooks wow
write down important details i mean you know you have an iphone right that's it yeah but it's
different you know we talked about that recently how doing things the old-fashioned way is like
it sticks in your head yeah i have it it's better to have it in a notebook i feel that but you also gotta be i mean that was a wacky
june there's no way yeah there's no way oh it won't be too full do you have a bunch of them
yeah yeah where do you put the pen that's what's on my desk okay so i just feel like you travel
everywhere with your notebook but you don't have a pen that's yeah okay every single thing
could you imagine you're on a plane the feidelbergs and ben gets off in the green and john's like i gotta write this down and i pull out my notepad while my, the Feidelbergs, and Ben gets off in the green, and John's like,
I've got to write this down, and I pull out my notepad.
The Feidelbergs are so weird.
I almost want to text your brother and be like,
yo, what the fuck, man?
Why'd you do that shit?
He'll be like, what?
Be like, you flew to Japan as the Hulk?
Can we call Benny?
No, he's at work.
Fuck.
We're going to have to have him call him next episode.
Kevin, I feel like the entire point of Living a cool life
Rather than just doing nothing
Is to be able to tell a story
They're the most sacred thing
It's the only reason I go outside of my house
I should be able to expense everything I do
Because the only reason I'm doing it is for the show
That's not a bad point
But think of the guys that you know
That have played on a million junior teams
A million pro teams The whole thing the guys that you know that have played on a million junior teams, a million pro teams.
The whole thing that's cool about like guys that have played like veterans,
they have so many stories that that's their currency.
You know what I mean?
Like Biz Nasty is a perfect example.
He wasn't the best player in the NHL.
Far from it.
No offense.
He's a great hockey player, but he was a story guy in the lot.
That guy had more stories.
He literally was getting paid.
Every group, team, friend, group, company has like the story guy in the lot that guy had more stories he literally was getting paid every group team
friend group company has like the story guy yes you know and like people love that it's like tell
him the story tell him the story yeah tell him tell him tell him you know like you want him to
tell it to the new people you want to see people react to it you want to know the latest like you
always have a friend who's like you know what what have you been up to dude like what's the
latest story what are you getting into like let me have it especially once you start getting older
man and and and life gets lame like my my friends who are married and with kids they have no stories
yeah they're like well just tell me my kids you're on the wall tell me every detail you know yes it's
like uh they they need that you know honestly like the more i'm thinking about this if i caught
someone stealing my story i would like eviscerate them for life.
That's, like, some fucked up shit.
Bro, that's my life.
I mean, if I walked up to the bar, I would pull up a seat and be like,
all right, what happened next, dude?
But, I mean, what am I going to yell at someone who listens to the show?
Condemn their actions.
No, I mean, it's flattering in a way, but it's just –
I find it very flattering.
But if you, you know, if you were a painter
and someone did this with your artwork or someone stole your song or whatever, this is –
Okay, fine.
The word of the episode is currency.
I would prefer you tell people to come listen to this podcast for their stories.
Or –
Or tell them the story and be like, you want to hear someone tell it better because it actually happened to him?
You know what?
I don't really care, but that's just – I just can't imagine doing that.
Even just something as simple as Twitter when you see these people who steal tweets.
I mean, that's –
Scum of the earth.
That's the same shit.
That's what I'm saying.
You guys are painting – you guys are being weird to me.
I just can't imagine being that person.
Yeah, but I don't think there's any shame.
Like, I'll tell stories that happen to someone else in the sense of, like, dude, my buddy told me this the other day.
Just say my buddy.
Nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know – Yeah, people say that all the time with us. They're like, oh, I tell my mom, like, buddy told me this the other day. Nothing wrong with that. I don't know. People say that
all the time with us. They're like, oh, I tell my mom like my friends
were saying the other day.
I mean, that's mostly this podcast.
These voicemails are always like a friend of mine,
whether they're the lion or not.
But that's a movie or something. It's like, dude, I heard about
this guy. You know, hockey, that's a huge
thing. Like, oh, this kid fucked his billet
mom and then the dad came home and tried to kill him.
It's like, that didn't happen to me, but that's a great story tell the story yes you don't have to
cop it as your own like that's a crazy move such it's just a lame move it's just like that means
you got like nothing yes you know if you're at a party or in a social setting and it's like
all right tell these talk to these people and you can't say anything about yourself you have to
steal someone else's story you're a scumbag but that's almost should be theft like you should be put in jail but plagiarism that's life plagiarism
the coolest people that i know in the world whether it's like old veteran hockey players
old fishermen that are like man we were caught in the sea like that is the coolest people that
have accumulated a ton of stories tales man like that's why i even like when when when shit went
wrong with my life it was like i got
i can i got stuff to talk about now it's like uh you live like good the bad the ugly the funny the
hot the sexy whatever and you you do it to tell i've said that kind of sounds like i genuinely
enjoy bad things happening to me yes you know you got a material bro the other night our plane got
uh boarded in seattle and then then sat there for an hour and a half
and then we had to switch planes.
All this stuff, it was great.
It sucked in the time.
It's way better than an eventful flight
where you just go home.
Low-key, one of the best parts of Barstool
or working on internet content in any way
is that bad things happening
are just completely mitigated now.
Yes.
Even if I was just a regular old Mets fan and my team was losing, I'd really kill myself mitigated now like even like even if i was just a regular
old mets fan and my team was losing i'd really kill myself but now i'm like all right i'll put
out a shirt that says console and like we'll make some money off it or like hey the podcast is gonna
be really easy tomorrow there's a there's a tiny silver lining in everything now when shit goes
wrong there's no high quite like when you're sitting either like on a on a porch or like on a
you know it's the summer you're like drinking with your friends some and just no phones no like tv and storytelling
when you meet someone that has great stories like that's a fun ass time i mean that's the that's the
original form of entertainment yes before there was anything i sit around sharing war stories i
still think it's the best i still think when you're skiing or when you're at the bar something
like that like i still very vividly remember like skiing or when you're at the bar or something like that,
I still very vividly remember the last time I was at a bar with my friends,
and I was telling them a story, and I had them in tears and laughing.
Yeah, and you feel like the fucking man, right?
I was standing up.
I was animated.
And everyone was balled over, and I'm like, this is my most fun right now.
It's the most fun thing in the world.
And this is like whenever I played men's this is life. This is my most fun right now. It's the most fun thing in the world. And this is like
whenever I played men's league in St. Louis,
I was known for walking around locker room naked
telling stories, but I would sit there, everyone
would have a beer, and I would tell them funny
shit. And it's my favorite.
I would take that. It's like, you know, locker room's
like the size of this room. Get like 15
dudes all drinking after a game
sitting there. There's no like
camaraderie or high quiet like that. And then someone else tells a story and you game sitting there. There's no like camaraderie or high quiet like that.
And then someone else tells a story and you're sitting there.
It's so fucking fun.
I used to get in trouble with my dad where it would be like he would,
he would get mad at me.
He's like,
you're always the last one out of the locker room.
I'm like,
yeah,
dude,
I've been standing on the benches telling them fucking stories.
It's the best dude.
Like,
I think that's why podcasts are popular to be honest.
I think that's what it is.
25% of America is listening to the podcast. Cause it it's like I just get to hear more people's stories.
It's everything cyclical, man.
We talk about that with Uber, with Airbnb, with Netflix, how everything's – they just have to bundle together all streaming services soon.
It's podcasts are going back to – I was explaining to my dad and his friend before Bruins game two, Columbus series, maybe game one.
I forget whatever it was.
But I was telling my dad
and his friend who like they just don't really know about podcasts and i was explaining it to
them and i was like everything is very cyclical and like i was like what we're doing now is we're
going back to when you were younger and you sat around you guys would actually love it you just
listen to the radio that was like that was your entertainment as a kid you gather on the radio
that's a podcast everything just comes back around yeah we're just better at it than other people it's crazy like but like that nut belly thing like when that happened
i immediately like almost in my head like obviously i was distressed because of the
cum all over me but like on the other side i was like oh my this is fucking holy like did you see
the nut belly restaurant yes someone tweeted i mean what the fuck is that i mean that's just
even if you're not thinking about someone's belly button full of cum,
Nutbelly is a bad, bad name for a fucking number.
But it's like, dude, when I told you that story, that's one of the most fun things in
the entire world.
I mean, every time you come on here, people go bananas for the way you tell the stories
and it's like, that's why it's awesome.
But it's almost like I have a present.
It's like, I know something that I know you're going to think is funny.
And I'm like, bro, I cannot wait.
I tell you shit all the time where I'm like, it, I cannot wait. I tell you shit all the time.
It's like breaking news.
It's like your own news that you're breaking. And then I said, bow, and it's like the punchline.
Dude, you know what?
I almost wanted to find a place to just listen to stories.
That's why I really want to get back on stage.
I feel like if we do our live show right, that's what it'll be.
It'll just be like storytelling with John and Kevin.
We just got to make sure we get some good stories. Yeah, and it's hard because a lot of credit card out dave it's hard though
because when you guys have a podcast you've already told like it's funny when you have
that's even why like when john's doing one thing i learned when you see it come to life and it's
animated true if you have a full storytelling effect it is dude like those stories like
firework has good stories john's already breaking the studio.
You have good stories, dude.
I think like,
it is crazy.
He's a storyteller.
But that's,
it's like the reward for living a cool life.
You get paid in stories.
Oh, now you're really,
now you're really broken.
This fucking guy, man.
Is it still,
are the levels still going?
Yeah.
All right.
All right,
let's get into these interviews anyway.
Camille Kosick,
the SI cover girl,
and Ted Alexandro, very funny comedian here from New York.
Very interesting conversation with both of them.
We got deep with Ted Alexandro talking about marriage.
He got married later in life, which I think is a fascinating way to do it, kind of against the trend.
And, of course, Camille being the new cover girl after being just one of the gang around here.
All of a sudden, she's on the cover of SI.
Wild stories.
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I just realized
I hate that I just walked in here
eating a banana.
What?
Because I made a banana on camera in here
and I just feel like that's a big mistake.
You don't need to wear those if you want.
Can you do something for me?
You can if you want, but you don't have to.
This room's sweet.
Yeah, it's coming out awesome.
Holy moly.
Tell me what you're about to do.
Okay.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot we've done an MSMR with you.
No, it was the whispers.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Oh, yeah.
The whispering wall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys, I'm really paying attention to detail.
I heard you just moved in on Monday.
Yes, we did.
Are we recording?
Yeah.
Yeah, this is, don't tell anybody,
but it's the best room in the office.
It's okay. The chicks already know. They told me. They were like, I was like, this is – don't tell anybody, but it's the best room in the office. It's okay.
The chicks already know.
They told me.
They were like – I was like, this room is sweet.
They were like, wait until you go to see KFC Radio Room.
It's actually Dave taking a tour.
Dave actually was like, this is actually pretty sweet.
Yeah.
Like we did this.
Honestly.
We picked it all out and like we got – my guy Sam, who's a stoolie, did the Moon Man painting.
We had the idea.
That wall there is the quilted hoodie that we sell
that launched our clothing line is the quilted.
So there's a lot of attention to detail.
I'm pretty proud of it.
Yeah, you've been very proud of it.
Not quite as proud as someone would be of, say,
landing the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover.
I mean, Camille Kostic, by the way.
You Dustin Pedroia'd this shit.
You went from fucking
rookie of the year to MVP.
And as I understand it,
this is actually
her rookie year.
She won the contest, but didn't...
Okay, so I had one...
I had a picture in the spread
last year. The final six
for that open call, for that open swim search.
Remember I shot in Belize.
The six of us each got a picture in it,
but ultimately someone was going to win that swim search and then was going to
become a rookie.
And this was my rookie spread in Australia.
So,
so like her first fucking spread is the cover,
right?
It's like your first,
your first full sports illustrated photo shoot. You got the cover. Right? It's wild. It's wild.
Your first full
Sports Illustrated photo shoot,
you got the cover.
Correct.
It's so,
you guys know that I get excited
when you introduce me
as Sports Illustrated
swimsuit model,
so like,
Cover girl now.
This is,
it's crazy.
Cover girl.
It's crazy.
And that's like,
when you become the president,
you know how you're
the president forever?
Like,
you're a cover girl forever.
Yeah.
You know?
That's so true.
Yeah.
Wow, that's a really great way to put it. Yeah. You can be cover girl wherever you girl forever. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's so true. Yeah. Wow.
That's a really great way to put it.
Yeah.
You can be cover girl wherever you go forever.
Yeah.
President.
Same thing.
Yeah.
Arguably more important.
Definitely.
I'll remember this more than who's,
who's the president.
Yeah.
Right.
Um,
I found out on Monday,
so I kind of had to keep it hush hush for a day and a half.
Longest day and a half of my life.
Could you like,
were they game of Thrones lockdown?
Like you couldn't even tell your family and friends?
No, they let me tell whoever I could trust to keep the news.
But who can you trust?
Slim picking.
That's a tough list.
Slim.
Were you going through a wedding invitation list?
I actually told Rob last night.
So you kept it from him for a little while.
Yeah.
Smart move.
Yeah. I mean, not he would like take to social media
no but he's got that Belichickian training
he knows what to say
that's a good point
I didn't keep it from him because I didn't
because I thought he was going to tell people
he was one of those people that
I kind of wanted to surprise him
I find out so many surprises about him through the internet
I thought it would be kind of cool.
So I didn't show it to him.
So he got to see it this morning on Good Morning America for the first time.
And I don't think he has it.
I doubt he went out to go to the first stand to go get the issue.
He's going to probably see it when I bring it down.
But he's in Miami kind of waiting for us to all charter down there to start.
Do you guys head down today?
Tomorrow.
By the way.
Which you guys can go to,
by the way.
It's open to the public.
Tickets on SI.com.
Oh,
what the fuck was that?
Don't lead like that.
What you guys can go to.
I thought you meant
I get to come on a plane
with you, Camille.
I can buy a ticket?
No, I'm saying,
I'm sure we can work it out
for you guys.
That was a you guys
to the public?
No, no, no.
I thought that was
a you guys to us.
No, no, no.
I was like,
I'm out, let's go. No, no, no. I was like, I'm out.
Let's go.
No, no.
No, I'm saying we could probably work something out.
But I'm saying to the listeners, like Friday and Saturday, you can buy a ticket and come
party with us on South Beach.
Okay.
So if you're in Miami, you should definitely do that.
And if you're not in Miami, you should definitely go down.
I mean, I feel like a lot of people are like New Englanders of your stoolies.
Like that's a quick, easy flight.
And you get to party with the Sports Illustrated models.
That sounds like a dangerous idea almost.
Are we sure we want to do this?
By the way, if for whatever reason I'm ever on the list to maybe tell or not tell, do not tell me.
I would never keep that.
I wouldn't tell anybody in this realm
of like life no but just in general even as a person i would want to tell i could literally
hear it now of of that coming to the office and like dave overhearing you are you being like dude
i think camille got cover but like we don't know tomorrow david be like oh i don't care we're
running now right the story like he would now. Write the story. He did that
a year ago with Gronk's
last trade. I remember.
Gronk won't be a patriot by the end of the day.
That's what was going through my mind when I was saying that.
You were trying to be like,
well, don't say anything yet. He's like, well, we have to.
Yeah, but then this is what he says.
He says, if I'm wrong,
don't blame me. If I'm right,
commend me.
Classic.
The video of you finding out was very cute.
Oh, my gosh.
They tricked you real hardcore.
I mean.
You were like, what was the.
I wouldn't say it was very cute.
I was like, there was an ugly cry face moment.
It was not an ugly cry.
Shut up.
There's nothing.
There's nothing for every.
There's never an ugly anything with Camille Kostick.
That was a true genuine like boogers down my face. no it wasn't but it was a genuine cry heart yes they
had her like watch a tv a little tv screen of like like a little montage of all her pictures
and then the last one was the cover and she was like wait wait what wait what is that they just
left me to figure it out and then i like couldn't catch my breath and then before i thought i was
gonna faint thank god i was sitting down I like had my head in my hands.
MJ's like sweet,
sweet hand was on my back.
Was that who was outside the door?
That's MJ.
Okay.
She's,
I don't know.
I know what,
I know what MJ looks like more than I know what most sports illustrated
models.
I knew the name and I know her.
I didn't know.
I know MJ underscore day.
What a life.
She's awesome.
She's incredible.
She really is.
I,
if that was me
in that situation
I don't think
I would have ever
figured it out
I think I would have
stared at that thing
for a while
and been like
what is this
but I also could see
a scenario
you were pretty quick
did you have any
inkling that it was
going to happen
you're talking to a girl
who's been like
a fangirl
I know that
thought behind a picture
yeah of course
so do I
no no I would have
known it was the cover
but I only would have
put it together me I'm a stupid person I could see a scenario where they're showing yeah of course so do I no no I would have known it was the cover but I just wouldn't I only would have
put it together
me
I'm a stupid person
I could see a scenario
where they're showing
girls like hey
this could be you
one day
or like this is what
you strive to be
or this is what it
would look like
if you were on
this issue's cover
those are all nice things
I would think my
friends are pranking me
but yeah sure
the inspiration
to put together though
it's like no
this you are on it
is
now let me ask you
a quick question.
Yes.
And you're going to give me, like, a whatever answer.
I know that.
I probably won't.
You know, like, if you win the Powerball, and then you find out that other people want
it, too, and you're like, oh, I don't get all the money.
Is there something like, oh, I have to share it with the other people?
No, not at all.
I'd be like, fuck.
I thought it was just me.
No, I am, like, think about it.
It's myself, it's Alex Morgan, and it's Tyra Banks.
I guess it's almost better to be.
Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah, you didn't see Tyra?
No.
Let me see.
You know what Tyra Banks was?
That was when I, Tyra Banks, okay, actually, I'm going to pose a question.
This is a model mogul.
This is an icon living.
The cover says from model to mogul.
So when I was young, as a young boy, right, I came out as heterosexual when I first saw Tyra Banks on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
Well, you're going to get extra hetero again.
That was my god damn.
And that's got to be, what, 20 years from the last one?
That was my moment where I was like, okay, I like girls.
And in fact, I like black girls, apparently. Now, are you comfortable with that undertaking that you're going to introduce a lot of boys to puberty?
Oh, can I be honest?
I don't go on any outlets where I've been asked that question.
Yeah, I know.
Welcome to KFC Radio.
Then you shouldn't have come here if you didn't want to answer that one.
No, it's not that I don't want to answer.
I just don't think
that way I am a big sister
I have a little brother but he's like
he's in his 20s now
by the way I'm just being like just genuinely being like
oh shit I like that
that's what I like
to each their own who knew that I would
look at that and like I
looked at a magazine full of
women in string bikinis and sometimes topless and I looked at a magazine full of women and string bikinis and sometimes
topless.
And I looked at that and was like,
I feel like I love my body more.
Like I feel like I can see freckles and see hips and see like things that I
didn't see in typical advertisements and magazines with all the airbrush and
everything else.
I was like,
what you see is what you get here.
And that cover is full proof of that.
I mean, do you think that is, I mean, on top of obviously just like being beautiful and
knowing how to do this as a model, do you think the freckles and the body shape is what
is, I feel like that's almost like your calling card right now.
Like you're embracing that and like being so positive, speaking very motivational speaking
and all that. You know how,
even with guys and with girls,
everyone,
anyone listening,
you guys can probably like agree to this.
Do you know when there was a point in your life when you were like in the best
shape of your life?
Like,
and you were crushing it.
Yeah.
Is yours?
Yeah.
I was going to say it was a long goddamn time ago.
Okay.
Let's talk about like recently,
like was there one summer that you were like, no, even right now I, I was going to say it was a long goddamn time ago. Okay. Let's talk about like recently, like was there one summer that you were like,
no,
even right now I,
I was,
I was extra gross recently and now I'm back to like regular gross.
I'm feeling pretty good about that.
Okay.
So my point is this isn't the best shape of my life,
but I am in,
I feel my,
I feel my best.
Yeah.
And I,
you know what I mean?
Like I've grown like like self-love journey of like truly
accepting all that I am at this point in my life like what you're a hippie now why I don't know
self-love sounds like hippie no you know it's not hippie it's but it is it's very motivational
you're very inspirational and listen it's and it sounds like a lot of like positive affirmation
bullshit situation but it's I've I've truly like experiencing it bullshit situation, but I'm truly experiencing it.
I don't think it's bullshit.
I'm just kidding.
No, but it's just one of those things that, I don't know,
as a woman, my body fluctuates a lot.
I'm in an industry where it's modeling, where it's on-camera hosting,
where it's an NFL cheerleader.
I'm in a Leotard Tights as a dancer.
My whole life, underlyingly, body image has been a big factor of that.
For sure.
And it's pretty crazy that for the modeling gig,
for the biggest job in my life where I'm wearing the least amount of clothes,
I wasn't in my best shape of my life.
Well,
but you can argue that like a great place.
Yeah.
Like what do you,
what do you want to call shape?
Is it literally just your body and your weight and all that?
Or is it like,
I bet you these pictures look nicer and you're smiling and you're the vibe
you're putting off is better.
Cause you're in a better place, like mentally emotionally like i i just i i've known in
years past that i i've gone on healthy routes and i have and when i found out weeks before this shoot
i was ready to go in how i was i didn't stress it was going to be an enjoyable trip. I felt on top of the world there.
And where was this, by the way?
South Australia.
That's a nice little perk.
It's like, you know, you're not doing pictures in Kansas.
It's like, let's go to Australia.
Let's go to the, you know, the islands.
By the way, also, so everyone has the three different covers.
I'll have like a little tagline.
Tyra's is model to mogul.
I know.
Alex is take on the world.
And Camille gets a star is born.
Are you going to sing me a song now?
John?
Tell me something, boy.
Nope, they're not that loud.
All right, will you sing me a song?
Yeah, like, who the fuck was that?
I was going to sing along shittily.
Then I'm like, oh, never mind.
He's got the hair.
How about you sing me a greatest showman? like, congratulatory if you're not going to
sing A Star Is Born?
Wait, I'll do A Star Is Born.
Okay.
I just don't know if I know the words.
Yes.
No, I need to hear, I can do karaoke, or I can do, like, I need to, like.
I hear you, Kev.
Are you tired of that boy?
Trying to fill that void.
Or do you need more?
You kind of sound like Bradley Cooper a little bit.
I know.
Wait, no.
No, I am not going to allow that.
Keeping is so hardcore.
Here we go.
I'm falling.
Ooh, that was bad.
We're not going to miss.
I don't know.
You take the pictures.
We'll talk.
We'll all leave the singing for somebody else.
Is there any point when people are praising you for like, it's a natural body, it's beautiful,
are you like, yeah, I know, I'm fucking hot?
I can't say I've ever given that response.
Have you ever thought that?
I also think sometimes it's like, you know, it almost gets a little exaggerated, like
you're natural, but it's not, you know almost gets a little exaggerated like you're natural but
it's not you know i don't know you're still fucking hot it's like like sometimes people
would say like oh like that video was funny like yeah i know fucking funny yeah or or that even you
know you're not i know you're not gonna sit here and say yeah i'm hot but like yeah i know how to
take pictures i know how to model i know what i'm doing well i i think what's so interesting about
how sports illustrated is printed it's like in this day and age of social media and technology how to take pictures. I know how to model. I know what I'm doing. Well, I think what's so interesting about how Sports Illustrated
is printed is in this day and age of social media
and technology, we have control over
the photos we post. It's not very
often that other people are
not only taking the photos of you, but
they are picking the photos for you and you don't see
them until they go to print. I didn't know that was going
on there. But even on your other
photos, you don't have any say at all.
That's scary, right? I would be not happy with that. well i mean i'm sure i'd be happy with being in sports illustrated but i would be like hey i gotta get i gotta get final say
final approval i gotta at least get like i get to chop some but that's but that's what i'm saying
like for for a lot i i notice it um because it's like in my age demographic like there's a lot, I notice it because it's like in my age demographic, like there's a lot of women specifically that need to have their picture just so from this angle only, you know, no stretch marks to be shown.
I would imagine most. Whether it's me or it's somebody else in there, I hope that it can help change somebody's life for the better
and start to accept who they are if they're uncomfortable in their own skin.
I'm not saying be complacent.
I'll tell you what, it makes me more uncomfortable in my own skin.
What do you want?
The polar opposite.
It's ruining my life, but congratulations to you.
Speaking of trying to do that for people,
I feel like you're on this motivational speaker tour.
You popped into, where was it recently?
Providence, I want to say?
Yeah, like the whole gym.
The whole bleachers were filled with all these girls.
It's shocking to me.
I think 20 people are going to show up,
and then there's like 500 people.
So far I've done Northeastern, UMass Amherst, and Providence College.
And I actually started it towards the end of the school year.
So we already have so many tours lined up for the start of next semester.
Is there a part of you that's like, whenever we've done anything live, I'm always stunned that anybody shows up because i'm
like 100 you guys want to hear from me like what i don't know do you have that when i when i walked
into every talk i say these are brand new me doing these talks this is like something that i have
wanted to do so i am damn sure i know that you no one's getting a credit for this. Like no one's getting nothing
for this. So people taking, you know, coming to a seven o'clock showing on a Friday night,
a Thursday night, a Monday night, like when they could be sleeping, they could be out,
they could be doing work or banging their boyfriend back at the dorm. Like they came to my
talk and they, they came to listen and, and they know what they're walking into too. They know that
I'm advocating for self-acceptance and you know, I don't into too. They know that I'm advocating for self
acceptance and you know I don't
make the talk about me. I try to make it
like I'm talking to you
and it's pretty
cool to see girlfriends bringing
their guy friends, girls coming in groups,
girls waiting at the door to get
the first 50 people get to do the meet and greet at the
end and there's girls that were like
setting up eating their dinner outside of the auditorium like for the four hours before the show started it's
not it's nuts like i don't realize like we just some i don't realize the eyes and the ears that
i have i don't realize the fans that i have so i am like forever what do you think that is grateful
uh i mean i i feel like part of why you're successful and why you're gonna really continue
to grow is that you really have embraced social media you do like behind the scenes you're doing the you have a personality i try not to take it
too seriously and just like but even like you you did a one take on instagram i haven't seen a a
girl do a one take when you did the video always one takes only i haven't seen a one take in
forever one takes a rare takes that's impressive and even like Never Not Dancing is so simple
but it's like
I don't know
anything about
most of the models
that I've grown up
looking at
you know
you see pictures of them
I don't even know
what they sound like
I don't even know
it's just a picture
on a paper usually
so I think that
you're probably
one of the first
or the first wave
of people using
social media
and the internet
and all that
that like it makes I think it's gonna be a big difference for your career did you get any or the first wave of people using social media and the internet and all that,
that like it makes – I think it's going to be a big difference for your career.
Did you get any inspiration for that from like Chrissy?
I feel like Chrissy is the only other one. Yeah, right.
That's a good example.
I mean I have admired Chrissy, but this is something that like even before Sports Illustrated,
like this was something that I wanted to do.
I didn't know if it was something where I wanted to implement it into like elementary schools
it did kind of stem
from getting like emails and messages from
school principals from elementary schools and from
teachers who are teaching like 6th
and 5th grade being like
I
don't know what it is about your Instagram which I think
is interesting because I don't really like
preach like I don't preach on my
Instagram like you know I have fun with it I throw up my bikini photos sometimes I throw up pictures like preach. Like I don't preach on my Instagram. Like, you know,
I have fun with that.
I throw up my bikini photos.
Sometimes I'm throw up pictures of me and Rob.
I throw up dancing things like,
but,
but you've also had your moments where you've been like,
I think whatever,
a couple months ago where you were like very open and very vulnerable about like some nasty
shit that somebody said.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like that made,
I mean,
people were writing articles about that,
like that made waves.
So I do think you,
but I don't like make it,
it's not like you don't make it that the like that made waves. So I do think you. But I don't like make it.
That's not like you don't make it that, the whole point of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I don't mean to, I don't know. So when, when someone tells me that like my page makes them feel good or like that, like
they take something away from like a free spirit dancing video and makes them feel better
when they're in the hospital or like gives them hope about life or like that they love seeing my like stories where I'm like talking about body image and stuff.
I don't realize that a sixth grade teacher will reach out to me and be like, wow, I wish
you could come to my class and talk to my kids.
Like, I don't think that that's what people are going to take away from it.
And so it's, it's, it kind of started to stem from, I got a inquiry from a principal and
from two different fifth grade and sixth grade teachers saying, I got a inquiry from a principal and from two different,
uh,
fifth grade and sixth grade teachers saying,
I wish you could come into the school.
Um,
I don't really know what to say to the kids.
I wish that I could like put you on speakerphone in my class and help me
talk to these kids because I have kids,
um,
that are kind of like talking about their bodies,
like and how they're uncomfortable in school.
And I have kids dropping like flies from the swim team because they don't
feel comfortable being in their swimsuits in front of their peers, but they're like 12 and 13 years old. And I have kids dropping like flies from the swim team because they don't feel comfortable
being in their swimsuits in front of their peers.
But they're like 12 and 13 years old.
And I'm like, oh my God, that's nuts.
And then I was kind of like torn between like my, I feel like being a 20 something right
now, like in college, I wish that I had someone to like, not to like toot my own horn, but
I really wish that I had someone to like sit down and give a lecture like I'm doing now.
Like because I feel like it would really stick with me.
And it's just kind of like I've had to figure it out through a lot of different ways.
And so it can help someone else figure it out.
Exactly.
And it's the response has been insane.
I always say when I walk out.
A star is born.
A star is born.
So it's been cool.
That was probably a little boring for KFC radio, but sorry.
I'm very passionate about it.
No, absolutely.
Passion's never boring.
As long as you're passionate about something, it's not boring.
There's actually a fraternity that just, I'm like.
You're going to talk to the frat?
They want me to come in and talk to the guys.
And do I think they want to like
meet me and take a picture?
yeah but they're all
like this kid is like
the president of his fraternity
at um
Florida
Coast
I forget
SCGU?
yes
Florida Gulf Coast
FGCU
yes yes
um
and he was like
I really think
you can help us
that's interesting
which is
like
it's probably like
you know
teach some of these guys how to treat girls and talk to girls I bet he has the right idea you can help us. That's interesting. Which is, it's probably like, you know,
teach some of these guys how to treat girls
and talk to girls.
I bet he has the right idea.
I bet there will be
like people who are like,
oh,
I get to meet Camille.
But he has like,
people are so respectful.
Like I do the meet and greets
at the end
and I tell everybody,
I'm like,
I'll stay here
until the sun goes down.
Like taking pictures
with the guys.
So I'm like so thankful
to have an audience like that.
You know,
like you don't have listeners,
you don't have podcasts
without the people listening.
The day that that stuff goes away is when you're fucked.
Take all the pictures.
I'll never understand why celebrities snub people.
I get it, it gets overwhelming, but you have records, you have things that you have, you
have the money that you have, the people buying your brand and your clothes and your this
and your that.
Your followers are those people on the streets that want to take a picture with you.
Absolutely.
So stop and say hi.
That's how I feel.
The only thing I'll say about A Star is Born is that that happens a lot here in New York.
The back covers.
The last two Stars Born were Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith.
So let's not go that route.
Let's not be the Stars Born Geno Smith version.
Okay.
Let's be the Gaga version.
I don't really know what that means,
though,
if I'm being honest.
Gino Smith and Mark Sanchez
were,
they both flamed out
and sucked.
They both,
they both got the
back page.
Yeah,
they both had like
one good game
and said,
Star is born.
Are you sure about that?
Because you're like,
eh.
No,
it doesn't look like
they're panicking.
You're not Gino Smith.
Are you,
are you happy now
that you are
Camille Kostick
And not
Gronk's girlfriend
I mean
There's
That's still gonna linger around
I mean I'm
Proud to be his girlfriend
But that's not my identity
Yeah
You know
I feel like
Do you have a girlfriend
I do
What's her name
I'm not telling you
Tell me
I'll tell you off air Kevin Do I have a girlfriend No What do. What's her name? I'm not telling you. Tell me.
I'll tell you off air.
Kevin.
Do I have a girlfriend?
No. No, what's her name?
No, we don't do it publicly.
Okay, well, let's pretend her name's Sarah.
Okay.
I'm not going to come on and be like, what's going on, Kevin?
Hey, Sarah's boyfriend.
Yeah, right.
People do that to me, though.
It's ridiculous.
People say it to your face.
I actually get it sometimes when, now, obviously, you are a different story, but people get
mad sometimes when, like like it's blank.
It happened with someone on the Chicago Bears.
Like so-and-so is a Bears husband.
The Chicago Tribune wrote it.
But she did like – she was just – she was a housewife or something like that.
And that's – there's a totally normal profession.
But if you're trying to get someone to click on your story, you need to say that.
However, if you're trying to get someone to click on your story you need to say that yeah but also if you're writing for like specifically for a very patriots type of
thing i could understand where that's the angle they're going to take because they're writing
about gronk and patriots fans but otherwise if you're talking about sports illustrator or
something you're doing yeah should be your name yeah but i also think that you kind of have to
earn that as rude as that might sound like and and you did. I mean, I feel like you have your own, your own identity now that people will recognize
your name.
I don't think anybody's ever going to think, well, my headline is not going to get as many
clicks if I put Camille Kostick in there anymore, because I think it's just as, as much cloud
as he is.
Yeah.
I'm like, I kind of am over it.
I used to be like a little bit more sensitive to it, but it's like, it is what it is.
Um, at the end of the day, I know that I work my ass off to get to where I am.
If someone's going to throw in a headline,
like I know what's up.
Yeah.
People read it.
I feel like you're probably over it too,
because I think it's not happening as much anymore.
I'm sure,
I'm sure you still see it,
but I see.
I just don't share those articles.
Like I was like clicking through Twitter,
um,
on my way here and like,
was like at mentioned,
you know,
and a bunch of stuff.
And I was like quick to repost like Camille Kostick, a cover camille caustic and tyra banks and then it was like
gronk's girlfriend lands and i was like nope sorry i'm uh so how does it like are you is there like
a season like are you is like an off season for you are you like shooting year round or do you
get guys i'm actually shooting a movie this month oh ryan
reynolds new movie free guy that's nice if you guys watch so you have like you got like six more
months of hanging out with us yeah you are gonna forget us so fast we're gonna be like we're gonna
come down to south beach like hey camille and i don't know who those guys are never you guys know
never never, never.
I was watching a movie the other day, and you were in it.
I feel pretty.
Yeah. Yeah, you were like the hostess or something, seating them?
Yeah.
I was like, wait a second.
No, I'm like shooting this movie like a lot of days.
It's in Boston.
It starts the end of this month.
What's it called again?
It's called Free Guy.
Free Guy.
Is Ryan Reynolds in it, or is he directing?
Oh, he's in it.
His character name is Guy. My It's called Free Guy. Free Guy. Is Ryan Reynolds in it or is he directing it? Oh, he's in it. His character's name is Guy.
My character's name is Beauty.
It was hard to live up to when I had to meet him in the trailer and be like, what's up?
They were like, Ryan, this is Beauty.
I can see how much you struggled with that.
I mean, everyone has their own eye for what beauty is in their eyes.
But it's going to be really cool.
We're kind of like in this...
We're trapped in this video game.
Yeah, the story centers on
a background character who realizes he's living in a video
game. With the help of an avatar, he
tries to prevent the makers of the game from
shutting down his world. So you're doing
almost like some sci-fi
comedy shit. Is it comedy action? Yeah, they say
sci-fi action comedy. Well, there you have it.
Yeah. How about that?
I feel like it's kind of like some Deadpool kind of Ryan Reynolds kind of film.
Yeah, I think he found his voice.
It's being put on by Walt Disney.
The director is Sean Levy, the director of freaking Stranger Things.
Oh, wow.
I auditioned in front of him, and he gave me my role.
Can you get in on some Stranger Things action?
I don't know, but I was just like...
These are good people to know, Camille.
You work with Millie Bobby Brown, and I just auditioned in front of you, and I had no idea,
though.
Oh, you didn't know that he was...
That's almost better, because you weren't being like...
They were like, you know who that was, right?
He gave me like a...
Because honestly, I don't take acting classes.
I use my auditions.
I'm like a big risk taker.
I use my auditions as like my learning lessons. So when I
went in, apparently he was like, Hey, I saw potential in you and your tape. I knew I needed
to come in and kind of direct you. He gave me like a crash course in like five minutes. And then he
was like, cause what I would do is I would read the lines, but the camera would be on me. And
when my lines weren't being read, I wasn't reacting, but that's not normal. The camera's
still on me. You gotta keep acting.
When we're talking to each other,
I'm listening to you, I'm reacting.
So he was telling me that,
and then he was feeding me all these other lines
that weren't in the script to get me in the mood
and to play the role perfectly.
And he was like, good, you did it.
Great job, that's what I needed from you.
And I was like, wow, no wonder you're a director.
Little did I know it was Sean Levy.
So it'll be cool to
work together so you met ryan reynolds that day but was there any like you interacting with him
a lot you have scenes with him a lot you're talking to him off camera a lot is he um i do
so the the i haven't gotten all of my lines yet but um the lines that i auditioned with are back
like the person who was reading the lines for me to audition with were Ryan's lines so I do have
at least a
scene with Ryan
because he's trying to like get us out
like of this game and like trying to help
convince me like we can get out
I'm jealous you get to meet Ryan Reynolds
are you guys going to go to the premiere
it comes out July 3rd 2020
get your suits
like I said you're going to stop talking to us in six months.
Stop.
If I'm still in the Camille Kostic inner circle.
Technically, you guys are married.
I'm sorry, but this is a little insulting that you even think that.
Because let's go back to Barstow Sports Day's Comedy Central.
Bar back, girl.
Yeah.
And I'm on your damn show today, the day I got cover.
So let's not.
Come on.
Give me some credit there.
I don't give credit easily, but I'm leading towards it right now.
I'm giving you so much credit that I think you're going to be such a superstar that you should be forgetting about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
Blame.
I'm like, yeah, that makes sense.
Absolutely.
I would love to be dropped by Camille.
I would be an honor. I keep my. Absolutely. I would love to be dropped by Camille. I would be an honor.
I keep my circle small.
I stick around with my crew.
Well, I'm honored to even be even slightly mentioned.
How is retirement life going?
Honestly, him and I.
You guys were at what is it?
What's the festival?
Stagecoach.
Stagecoach.
Yeah, you guys have been having a fucking blast.
It's been great. From the Jesse Decker, Eric Decker trip. stagecoach stagecoach yeah you guys have been having a fucking blast from the
Jesse Decker
Eric Decker
that's the moment
I knew he was gone
I knew he was gone
when you guys
went down there
I was like
he's getting out
with Jesse and Eric
and be like
I don't want to do
this life anymore
right
you can do more of that
or you can go to
the fucking OTAs dude
I think I know
yeah between that
and the
stagecoach
IG stories constantly constantly dancing.
What was he dancing at recently?
He looked extra ridiculous recently.
Vegas, retirement party.
Is that what it was?
Yeah.
Dancing on the DJ booth.
I told him, it's your turn.
You sit down.
I'm twerking on the DJ booth.
This is my NFL draft moment.
This is my party weekend.
Yeah.
Soak it in, girl.
That's what's happening this weekend? Oh, yeah. Oh, you should go get tickets then, listeners. Yeah. Soak it in, girl. That's what's happening this weekend?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you should go get tickets then, listeners.
Yeah.
You're about to see a show.
You're going to go ahead and lose the cover.
It's extra to go in the twerk room.
So the movie is next on the list of things to do.
Yes, I'm super excited about that.
I mean, the only thing I'll say is kind of like...
I really want to go on Dancing with the Stars this year.
Oh, that wouldn't be fair.
That's in September.
That wouldn't be fair.
You want to go?
Yeah.
You want to be my dancing partner?
Done.
I think one of us has to be a professional, so you can handle that, right?
Okay.
Okay.
That would be really fun.
You can't.
That would be cheating.
Why?
Because you could be the professional, but you would be the star.
No, I could not be the professional.
I am not trained in ballroom and foxtrot and salsa.
No, but you know what I mean?
When it's like, this is like the fat dad from the sitcom, and then it's like, and here's, you know, a girl who's been in music videos and shit or something like that.
It's like, that girl can dance.
This is cheating.
I feel like there have been.
Camille would win dance class.
It's like, here's Mitt Romney.
Yeah.
Or Camille Kostick.
Who do you think danced better?
That's what I'm saying.
Well, I still want to do it.
Yeah, no, you definitely should.
I'm just saying you're going to win it.
We're going to win.
Yeah.
We're going to win it.
That's no pressure.
It really honestly...
Hey, Camille, second place is...
You consider it a failure if you're second place.
I feel like it comes down to a fan base situation, though.
Yeah, well...
Stoolies, you better stay loyal. I feel like it comes down to a fan base situation, though. Yeah, well, I think you have a lot of that.
Stoolies, you better stay loyal.
I'm going to need you in a little bit.
You could suck and probably still win between stoolies, the Pats, and your own cult of girls.
Are you kidding me?
That would be cool.
I just want to go on.
I just really want to just go on Dancing with the Stars.
It's just like...
Yeah, because honestly, I don't even think you would need to win it.
I think if you just get a little FaceTime, talk to Aaron Andrews, Bergeron, the whole nine.
We love this girl.
Speaking of.
The guy.
Mark Bergeron.
Dave Bergeron.
I hear Bergeron.
I think Patrice Bergeron.
Oh, okay.
Aaron Andrews came up to me at Stagecoach.
Saw that, yeah.
Was that like the first time you guys met?
Yes.
Wow.
But she had, I thought it was like a fan page.
She DM'd me, and she was like was like you what you're doing for women
is like incredible
I love your message
like you're
my girl crush
and I was like
is this the
Erin Andrews
like
because I went to school
for journalism
so I looked up to her
in that aspect
and really like
breaking the molds
of like
being a woman in sports
and then on top of it
I've been a fan
of Dancing with the
stars and she co-hosts that show and um when she was writing that to me i was like i am losing my
mind she found me a stagecoach she's like never not dancing and she's like so i don't know if you
did that intentionally i'm sure now you're very aware of it and make sure you do it but was that
just like you just threw that hashtag out one time and like,
I mean,
those things are always the best when they're organic.
It's like sad to the boys.
But like,
that is a thing for sure.
Like everybody,
even people I feel like sometimes
aren't even tagging you necessarily.
They just like use the hashtag,
which is like,
that's an awesome brand to have.
What's that?
When it's the kids.
Oh, right.
Little kids in like the hallways.
They're doing wiggle wiggles. Yeah. People take them with their dogs. It's so cool. What's that? When it's the kids. Oh, right. Little kids in the hallways.
They're doing wiggle wiggles.
People take them with their dogs.
It's so cool.
Yeah, that's awesome.
It's a very good brand to have.
And sometimes I'm always like,
I repost them just because
I just want to show some fan love.
But there's people who are like,
I love when you post these.
I love seeing...
It's like you watch something
that makes you feel good,
so you feel good.
People feel good when they're doing it.
You're watching it.
It's just good energy something that makes you feel good, so you feel good. Like people feel good when they're doing it. You're watching it.
It's just like good energy.
What's that guy – you're like in the dance studio and there's like big letters in the background.
Playground.
Yeah, what is that?
That's a studio.
Do you guys know Kenny Wormald?
He's a Boston guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Kenny's studio.
I feel like a lot of people know, right?
That's a dance studio.
Yeah.
Yes, you know how to dance.
Yeah, I mean I hope so. I was like a dancer my whole life. But we? That's a dance studio. Yeah. Yes, you know how to dance. Yeah, I mean, I hope so.
I was like a dancer my whole life.
But we were saying like it's cheating on Dancing with the Stars.
You're like, well, no, I don't know how to do the Foxtrot.
No, I really have been out of the game like for a while. I go in the studio and I like learn choreography, but it's nothing technical.
Your hashtag is never not dancing.
You're not out of the game.
You're completely immersed in it
at all times.
You know those dance videos
are not like technical.
No, I know.
You know what I mean?
But what is that?
Because I feel like other stars
and other people dance with that guy.
Is that like a big deal to get on that
or am I making that up?
I mean, anybody could take class at Playground,
but I'm like very lucky enough
that one of the choreographers,
Shane Bruce,
and that Kenny lets us use the studio
between classes and gives us a videographer.
Kenny actually usually films us and edits it.
But it's just everyone taking their time out of their day to just create content.
And I feel lucky that they hit me up to do it.
Very cool.
Kenny was one of the first celebrities to be a stoolie because he was in Footloose.
Okay.
And it was like – I don't know if he's done
many movies since then,
but that was the first thing
we were like,
Him and Julian Huff.
Yeah.
It was like a thing
where it was like,
oh,
people in Hollywood like us?
That was,
that's strange.
We'd had athletes before,
but it was like,
You know what we got now?
It's a cover girl.
Oh, yes.
This is our first,
I guess Chrissy Teigen
kind of knows us,
but like,
we got an in now.
We can add it to like the Hall of Fame stoolies.
Can we have that one?
Cover girl.
Yes.
You know what?
Can you autograph it for us?
It's prominently displayed on the Hall of Fame.
The KFC Radio Wall of Fame, you're going to get a little primo spot.
How about that?
I'm so pumped.
That's the honor, okay?
So when we say don't send us shitty things,
we mean if it's not a picture of you on the cover of Sports Illustrated,
it doesn't make the cut.
Camille will forever remember that May 8th is the day that she got on the shelf.
If I come in here and that's gone.
No, it's going right there.
That looks awesome.
I don't have my phone.
There you go.
We'll snap a pic.
Well, I can't even.
Wait, someone sent me that white walker
thing too yeah it's like a game of thrones promo uh i don't watch game of thrones so i was like so
my my girlfriend appreciated it way more than i did but i i was like wait that looks familiar
that's gonna get gone pretty soon just so you know yeah i just want the bottle yeah yeah that's
true there's gonna be like a day at the end of the day where i'm like ah shit we're out of whiskey
when you you put it in the freezer it like the bottle changes it's pretty cool Yeah, that's true. There's going to be a day at the end of the day where I'm like, ah, shit, we're out of whiskey. I'm just going to come in here and take that.
When you put it in the freezer, the bottle changes.
It's pretty cool.
Oh, really?
The eyes change and a word pops out.
Don't worry about Game of Thrones, though, because it's ending horribly.
It's a massive, massive disappointment.
Continued success.
Congratulations.
Keep doing what you're doing for all the girls out there.
And last thing before we go.
Before or after December 17th?
What are you talking about?
When will your boyfriend be playing football again?
Before or after December 17th?
Why December 17th?
It's just an over-under day.
He just picked a random day.
Oh, what do you want to know?
If he's coming back?
When?
I don't know.
Should we call him?
Yeah.
Or is it my phone?
I hate when people ask me questions about him. I'm like, I don't know. Do you have her him? Yeah. Or is it my phone? I hate when people ask me questions about him.
Like, I don't know.
Do you have her phone?
No, I was telling the girls.
It's so, like, it is so, I don't have it.
I don't know where my purse is.
While they get it, we're going to do one more thing with you.
We do a birthday booze cruise, meaning it's not a booze cruise.
It's a crew of people you want to go boozing with on your birthday.
So all the famous people that share your birthday, you have to pick.
Oh, wow, this is perfect.
Who you would go out with?
February 19th birthdays, right?
I'm going to give you a list of celebrities to pick from,
and you've got to pick a handful that you would want to go out on the town
and crush it, okay?
From the birthday crew?
From everyone who shares your birthday.
Ready for this?
Millie Bobby Brown.
You're kidding.
You got, let's see.
You got Millie Bobby Brown, Victoria Justice.
I've never looked this up.
This is cool.
That's really it.
Oh, Seal.
You got Seal, too.
You got Seal.
I feel like Rihanna's birthday is like a day before or a day after mine,
so I always thought it was mine.
I thought that was a Sum 41 guy.
Hayley Duff.
She's not bad.
That's a terrible picture of her.
Smokey Robinson.
Smokey Robinson, yeah.
It looks, I mean, and Jeff Daniels.
There you go.
There's your crew right there.
But Millie Bobby Brown.
Benicio Del Toro.
I want to hang out with her.
You got some good ones here. If you could go out But Millie Bobby Brown. Benicio Del Toro. I want to hang out with her. You got some good ones here.
If you could go out on the town.
I'd go Benicio Del Toro.
I feel like if you're out with Benicio Del Toro, you're going to end up in Mexico.
Yeah.
And I just think of Sicario.
Like you're sneaking into Mexico drunk.
I would go Millie Bobby Brown, Benicio Del Toro, and Seal.
Imagine just being like Seal.
Send Kiss From A Rose right now.
That'd be incredible.
So all of these pictures
are people who have
the same birthday as me?
Yep.
I don't know half these people.
Yeah,
most of them are like,
that website
is like a little,
a little obsessed
with YouTube stars
and things like that.
It's like,
ah,
let's relax.
Let's,
uh,
let's just give Rob
a call here real quick.
Let's just,
just, just to say, you know, just a hypothetical for you.
I was telling Fran and Rhea, they were like, so at the billboards on the carpet, he was teasing like...
Oh, by the way.
I forgot about that.
You sit right by Taylor Swift.
What the hell was that all about?
I don't know, but I photobombed them like crazy.
You got like all the primo pictures.
You looked fucking incredible that night.
Thank you.
That was some appearance.
It made me wish I could do my makeup.
I was like, I lived my whole life and never did my makeup like this.
This sucks.
Oh my god, I thought that guy was Bradley Cooper for a second, but it's not.
Doesn't it look like it for like a second?
For a hot second.
It's David Gandy.
I don't know who it is.
What was like the best interaction at the Billboard Awards?
Oh, Julianne Hough.
I finally met her.
Finally got to be like, I love you.
You're beautiful.
You're a great actress.
You're a beautiful dancer.
You're a great person.
I love your brother.
Yeah.
The Houghs should have done Never Not Dancing.
They missed the boat.
You know, they could have had that first.
That's how you know I was like a little starstruck because that would have been epic if me and
Juliana got to do it.
She would have been down for it.
She's like, cool.
Yeah.
But I just was like too like, oh my God, that I couldn't, I couldn't form a sentence.
Did you ever, did you consider giving Taylor Swift some lessons?
You know, she's famously a bad dancer at award shows?
Terrible seat dancer. I have front row seats to that.
I've been like, hey. Oh,
did you? Were you sitting there like, girl, come on.
She's so awkward.
Yeah.
I wish you could see the faces
right now, folks. A lot of cringe
face. No, it was...
You know what? Taylor's doing just up.
You want to know what I have to say to Taylor?
I am truly all about owning who you are and being your true authentic self.
That girl shows up to every award show and no matter what song, she is proudly standing
up front row, shaking her butt.
Awkwardly.
Yes.
That's her brand.
Yes.
Hashtag never not awkward.
But no, that was really cool. I didn Hashtag never not awkward. But,
um,
no,
that was,
that was really cool.
I didn't really get to talk to her.
She was like doing her thing.
And you know,
I,
I see,
I,
I see how people stop Rob in the streets all the time when he just wants to like enjoy
himself.
So like,
it's just really hard for me to kind of have that crossover.
Like I know that I,
I would hope I'm not being like a burden to somebody,
but I just,
I have that hard time.
Just like, no, that makes sense.
You guys know. I know when you said that Rob announced his retirement, I think you said something
like football's never
going to be the same or something to
the effect of it's not going to be...
You're going to miss it. Yeah. But when he
does come back, maybe we'll find
out here the date, are you going to be
excited for that or what? Oh, yeah,
of course. Yeah. I mean, football's not going to be excited for that or what? Oh yeah, of course.
Football's not going to be the same for me.
Am I going to go to a Patriots game again?
I don't know.
You don't know? What am I going to do?
We'll find out right here.
Say, hey babe, when am I going back to Gillette?
This has been ringing for a long time.
He's probably like, I know she's at Barstool.
No fucking way I'm answering this.
He has no clue.
Oh, dang.
Wow.
When you do get that inside scoop, you just know who to text first, okay?
You won't tell Dan.
No, but I was telling Rianne Fran, I was like, ha-ha to everybody,
because welcome to a day in my life of him messing with me on the regular because I really don't know.
I don't know.
He is messing with everybody.
And he loves it, too.
Like, he hopped off the carpet.
And I remember him saying to, like, one of his boys, he was like, they asked me about retirement.
And I was like, I don't know.
Am I retired?
And I was like, ha-ha, everybody, because the kid does it to me all the time.
We had Pauly D in here recently.
And Pauly D's cousin's with Goon.
And Pauly was like, he's coming back.
And I was like.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't think he had any inside Goon information.
But he was like, Pauly was very, very sure.
I think Pauly was just saying it to try to be cool.
Because there's no inside scoop there.
No, yeah.
I think he's just.
See, actually, what I would do if I was a Patriots fan.
See, I think actually Camille could influence this.
Wait, do you want him to come back?
Hell no.
Exactly.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, no, I don't want any fucking part of that guy ever playing football again.
The Jets.
So I want no part.
Who's yours?
The Patriots. Are you kidding me? I can't.. So I won no part. Who's yours? The Patriots.
Are you kidding me?
I can't,
honestly,
I can't remember.
We're engaged
and this is,
now is the time
you spring this on me?
You're a Patriots fan,
right?
Yeah, Camille.
I'm a Patriots fan.
This is fucking insane.
How many of you guys
like partied
at a Super Bowl party
together and shit?
No,
it's because Kevin
kind of throws me off
because I assume
that everyone in here is just team Boston.
Yeah, no.
I hate the Patriots.
I have said horrible things about your man.
I was polite in his retirement.
I said, like, you know, I'm happy to never ever have to fucking watch you again, even though I know I'm going to have to.
Did you ever have him like on your fantasy or like anything?
I actually don't do fantasy. But if I did, I would not draft him.
I don't ever want to root for Patriots, so I wouldn't want that at all.
But if Camille was just enough of a pain in the ass,
Gronk would be like, I've got to go play football again.
So, Patriots fans are like, you always annoy him.
Just start nagging him.
Rob, you have to come to this shoot.
Rob, you have to come to this shoot.
Start nagging him and he'll be back
make him hang out with you
oh you're going to try to
put this on me now
now Patriots Nation
is going to hit me up
all the time
I think you should be
really cool all the time
just kind of do
whatever he wants
I definitely
leave him honey do lists
every morning
just be like
okay so these are
like you got to go shopping
you can do all that
in like February
you know 6th
or whatever it is.
After it's all, after that season's done, you can nag them all you want.
But from September to January, you better be cool as shit, okay?
Oh, you want to know what's coming up?
It's a ring ceremony.
Oh, right.
I just remembered that.
This interview's over.
About that time of the year, isn't it?
You guys are assholes.
Fuck.
Who is like the coolest couple to hang out with at those?
I actually, I haven't been to a ring ceremony yet.
Oh, you haven't?
No, I forget.
I forget.
Did we win the Super Bowl last year?
No, last year was one of the years we lost.
I get confused with all of them.
I'm sorry.
I know, it's crazy.
It's weird, right?
No, last year was one of those ones we lost, it's unfortunate.
Oh, that was the Eagles.
The year before that we did win.
Okay, so the year before that I think I was in LA on a job, and I was going to possibly, it
was going to be some crazy travel situation.
So I haven't really hung with the best couple, but Super Bowl night, it was me, Brady, Giselle,
and Rob, and that was cool, because I had never met Giselle like that before and hung
like buds.
Yeah.
And that was cool.
She's so cool. They're like not even
real humans. They're both genuinely
just incredible people.
Oh, Kevin. I was, I
saw you guys up on the balcony. If he sat right here, you
would probably be kissing his feet. I know
you don't want to admit it, but you would.
He's a great guy. Kevin says that every
Patreon he meets. He's like, God damn it. He was fucking cool
too. Yeah, I have not. Has Rob ever been on KFC Patreon he meets. He's like, God damn it. He was fucking cool too.
Yeah, I have not... Has Rob ever been on KFC Radio?
No.
Can we hook that up, please?
Can we get...
No, I don't mean like literally right now,
but maybe just like,
hey, you're retired now,
so you're not going to be doing shit,
so why don't you just come chat it up
with these two idiots?
I have 234 text messages.
Damn, girl.
I bet.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
They're all saying, holy shit, you're the fucking country girl.
Am I being a brat by saying that?
No, that's something people always ask that.
What?
Oh, my God.
It's going to get lost.
I bet she was going to say wrap it up, so we will wrap it up.
All right, yeah.
We appreciate it.
Congratulations on everything.
I didn't even know I knew that many people.
Come on back whenever you want.
I'll text you right now.
People are texting me that I didn't even, like, know knew me.
Let's get right into it.
It's KC Radio featuring Ted Alexandro.
It is noon as we record this.
We were supposed to do this at 11.
I was told that you accidentally went to the dentist
that was not the accidental part that okay i made the appointment you go that just accidentally the
accident was that i thought this was a different day uh that i was with you guys so before we even
start i apologize to you no no apologies to the universe to the astronauts there's an astronaut
on the wall here
so uh
all good I just
the way it was
initially posed
I was like
what if someone
showed up like
ah fuck
I'm at the dentist
you wanna drill me
and then you know
clean him up
while I'm here
cause I accidentally
showed up
yeah sometimes
I just get in the car
and wherever it goes
you know
and ordinarily
it's the dentist
what was like
a barber shop
like you try to
walk in for a tooth filling.
Yeah, right.
I was supposed to get an haircut right now.
A little off the sides.
Supposed to be doing a podcast.
Drill this.
I haven't gone to the dentist in legit, I think, like 10 years.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Do you have good teeth?
I do, generally speaking, but I had this.
I don't know if you guys have ever had this where, like, you have, like, a jarring pain
when you bite into something or something cold like just one
tooth every time i had like a seed or if i was eating a bagel or something you'd feel this sharp
pain so i was like maybe uh maybe a dental appointment would uh be a good idea yeah so
finally i feel like two years of just chewing on the other side of my mouth that was my uh remedy
left jaw have you ever seen that and when i say have you seen it i mean i'm speaking
strictly of fictional television shows,
but how they'll, like, break down, like, someone's skeleton, like, after they die,
where it's like, oh, he chewed on the right side of his mouth.
Oh, wow.
Because you can, it's like.
You can tell that?
It, like, it all just, it contorts your body so much.
Like, I started using a backpack because I always had my bag on my right shoulder.
And, like, my doctor was like, you're walking weird.
I'm like, how can you see that?
That is very impressive.
I wonder if I'm a right chewer or a left chewer.
You have to die to find out.
So what was the,
uh,
so finally,
yeah,
they,
they had to take the tooth out and then,
uh,
I have to have an implant.
So I've been going to this dentist now.
It's,
this is probably like the fourth visit.
And every time I go,
I think it's the last one.
And he's like, all right, we'll see you in three weeks or whatever so i just keep going back
not knowing what's gonna happen next but i like the guy and he you know he calls me the next day
do you have like anyone called like literally not his you know uh assistant not the dentist calls me
and like i pick up he's like hey it's dr pete i'm like hey dr pete like what's up he's like just
checking if you're okay see yeah i don't even think i want that that's very nice yeah but if
if i get a call and it's my doctor who i just saw right you think it's bad you got tooth cancer i
don't know like i don't need any calls any extra calls from doctors no thanks i'm out on that yeah
it's a little disconcerting but you know at least he's nice and no news so far. It's just like I'm checking up on how you're doing.
So I'll take that.
You got to take that.
Nice little bedside manner there, I guess.
That's right.
I hope you don't refer to it as a bedside manner with a dentist.
Yeah, if he was by my bedside, that would cross the line.
So you're a New York guy, you were saying, right?
Queens dude?
Yeah, yeah.
Born and raised in Queens.
Big Mets fan for many years.
Long suffering.
So is this one.
Yeah, I am so fucking stupid. So is this one. Yeah.
I am so fucking stupid.
I'm an eternal pessimist.
I'm always the guy who's like, I know a lot about this team.
I've lived this team.
I breathe this team.
I know how they operate.
I know they're going to disappoint us.
Right.
I don't know what the fuck happened this year.
I bought into Alonzo and McNeil and a couple of the other guys.
Yeah.
I decided to start a podcast.
I thought this was the year that i was going to
add more work to my life and because they're going to be good enough did you name the podcast
that that championship season 2019 world series champions i know it's it's uh it's named we gotta
believe and here's the thing you don't have to believe you know what i do believe i do believe
this team is always going to disappoint me that's right so now i have to just keep doing this podcast that
nobody's going to listen to because the team sucks i might i might at some point force you to stop
being a mets fan because it's tough for me he's a fucking boston guy so and it's just like like i
have to ride this roller coaster with you and it hurts me to see you hurt when you're like yeah
we're this year is good and then like a week later you're like fuck it's the same team i i knew it
myself from a friend like in an ordinary circumstance that would be a nice gesture like This year is good. And then like a week later, you're like, fuck, it's the same team. I knew it. Well, I'm so mad at myself.
From a friend, like in an ordinary circumstance, that would be a nice gesture.
Like, it hurts me to see you hurt.
But from a Boston fan to a man to a –
I always say that where I'm like, I'm being genuine.
Like, it sucks.
It feels controlling.
I feel bad for your teams.
Right.
And you're like, you're being a dick.
I'm like, oh, man.
I'm sorry you have to live like this.
He also does this thing, you know, it's actually harder to be me
because we've made it to the championship a couple times and lost.
And that's, you know, we made it to the peak and you fall down
and that's worse than just staying at the bottom.
To which I say, literally sucked my day.
I still stand by that.
I think that you have, you're at a place with your sports teams
where you just, you have horrible children.
And you're like, these kids, I'm cutting them off.
They fucking suck. And my kids just keep dying like i'm like i keep having
successful children i'm like oh we're gonna have a good life like i raised you right and then you
lose the finals and i'm like oh he's dead this is we we do a hypothetical here that's like would
you rather have two completely average kids or one is a goes on to be like a professional athlete
one doesn't even know how to read we're're talking like a brain-dead idiot.
You have some great kids, and you have every now and then a crappy kid, basically.
I just got shitty kids everywhere.
So at least you have someone who's going to bring you happiness.
But you've accepted that.
Well, I guess this is the first year where you didn't accept it.
Usually right off the bat, you're like, I'm getting excited.
They suck.
You're a Jets guy, too?
No. No, I'm getting excited. They suck. He does that with either. You're a Jets guy, too?
No, no, I'm not a Jets guy, but I'm still deciding whether I want a brain dead kid.
Yeah.
Forget about fucking sports.
Let me ask you that question.
Would you rather have I saw your clip on Instagram about Zion.
Yeah. I'd rather have a kid.
You get one Zion and one who's, you know.
Every other player on Duke.
No.
Yeah. One who's just you can't even read. Like I said, you can... Every other player on Duke. No. Yeah, one who's just,
he can't even read,
like I said.
You can't even take him anywhere.
You can't have a conversation
with him.
He's got no prospects.
Or you just have two
completely average kids
who are just meh.
Just meh.
Okay.
Yeah, I guess I'm okay
with two average kids.
Yeah, they both get
a nice job at Enterprise
and work their way up.
Eventually become
like a regional manager.
A job with a name tag.
They'll pick you up.
Right, that's right.
But you're going to let go of that sitting there on draft night with Zion
and watching him go make millions and win championships.
Yeah.
They'll have fantasy drafts that I can sit in on.
That'll be their level.
Do you have kids?
No, no.
My wife and I have been married for about a year and a half,
so we're kind of moving in that direction.
Don't do it.
Stay here as long as you can.
Well,
you had a nice,
Kevin has two kids,
so you had a nice Instagram post yesterday.
She's like,
just happy to see you.
I was like,
that would be nice to get home to that.
That's actually why,
I guess I could just get a puppy.
My answer,
I think pre-kids was give me one fucking awesome kid.
I'll deal with the idiot.
Now having what appears to be two completely average kids, you know,
so I showed up the other day to pick them up, and I knocked at the door,
and she came running to it.
Daddy, daddy, daddy.
Open the door.
Like, I mean, nobody in my life is happy to see me except for this little girl,
you know?
She's so pumped.
So I was like, you're totally average, and you're bringing me a lot of happiness.
Awesome.
So I'll take the average kids.
I mean, if they're average and they're excited to see you,
that's above average for the greeting that you're going to get.
There you go.
They're above average to me and that's all that matters.
The Zion clip was funny, though.
Oh, thank you.
The way you posed it as white lives don't matter.
It was all about watching Zion high school clips where he just dominated.
And when you really think about it, children.
I mean, you're talking in some of these games,
you're probably playing against some sophomores who are like 5'8", a buck 45.
Yeah.
You've got to play against Zion.
Yeah, well, you know, it's funny because I did that bit at the Comedy Cellar
here in New York, and, you know, it was like during March Madness.
And, folks, you can look up the bit on YouTube, Ted Alexandro, Zion Williamson, you'll see it.
But the basic premise was just how, you know, it's hilarious.
I mean, the guy dominates in college.
But if you watch his high school clips, he was playing against these, like you said, these little white kids, just destroying them.
It's hilarious, you know.
And I said, if you ever need a palate cleanse from police brutality videos, watch Zion Williamson play high school basketball.
It's like a white lives don't matter.
Reparations.
Scales of justice.
I mean, can you imagine really, like, I can't imagine going out there playing against him.
I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
I'm not one of those guys who's like, I got to defy the odds.
Like, this is David Goliath.
But like, sometimes David wins. I'm like,'m not doing this this is i'm on my period coach i'm gonna need a
day coach uh yeah no i i played high school basketball at a school in in queen st francis
prep and we played against kenny anderson who was at malawi at the time who went on to play
uh gosh he played at north carolina no no i'm sorry georg the time, who went on to play. Gosh, he played at North Carolina.
No, no, I'm sorry.
George Georgia Tech and then went on to play in the NBA for, you know, like half a dozen teams.
But he was incredible.
He was like you got him almost arguably like at his peak in the sense of like he was a New York basketball legend.
He went on to be a pro and everything.
But he was like growing up and he was the second coming.
He was the next thing in New York City basketball.
Yeah, he was like a New York legend from the time he was in like seventh grade everybody was like
where he was like lebron like you know people or zion people wondering like where is he going to go
to high school where he's going to go to college so i just gave a big bag of cash that's right i'm
sure he just had a documentary actually uh kenny anderson that i have yet to watch but anyway
i have to check that out but he he was like this guy that like everybody was
scared to play myself included but it was like what you said i wasn't like i'm gonna i'm gonna
be the guy to take this guy down i was like uh i hope i play as little as possible today
defense maybe that's about it yeah i don't need to be in the paper with him like you know dunking
over me or something but yeah it was that same kind of feeling of on the one hand it's like
you know you're playing a guy who's probably going to be in the nba but on the other hand you're like
you know i can take the day off i don't know part of his legacy i remember like like i played
football hockey and baseball and like football in particular there was a sport where it was
like fourth quarter we need a big play i like final break you ready i don't know not particularly
i'll run around on the left side throw to the right side you ready i don't know not particularly i'll run a route on the left side
throw it to the right side dude like i don't have any desire to get hit right now i'm fucking it's
like yeah it's like choreography you know like you need the other dancers but i'll just be on
the periphery there is like i'm playing this because i literally have to i don't even like
the sport like this stupid ass school doesn't have gym class so they make you play a sport
every season that's the only reason i'm here you had to play a sport you had to play a sport every
forcing people to play football too like if you don't want to play that's a big ask you could do
you had the option to do conditioning which is just go to the gym yeah after after school every
day that just sounds like working out yeah but it was like i guess i'll just hang out with my
friends i would like intentionally try to like dip on the sidelines and like just try and not get in the game.
My favorite thing in the world was not playing in baseball.
Baseball bench was so much fun.
I had a blast.
Just hanging out with like the guys just fucking around.
You're at a baseball game.
You're wearing a uniform, but you're at the game.
Front row seat and yeah.
I always talk about that with the Red Sox because Dennis Eckersley is their color guy
very often
and he's the best in the business
I think, and I know you guys love Keith
but when you watch a game with him
you feel like you're just sitting on the bench with him
Eck truly
believes that at some point this season
Alex Cora's
going to go out there and bring in Eck
he doesn't know he He's just talking.
He's sitting on the bench with his buddies.
Sometimes he'll commentate, like a home run,
and it won't even be commentating.
It'll just be like, oh.
Yeah, Keith does that too.
He doesn't have the king of the sigh.
Someone has a bad swing or makes an error,
he's just, I can't believe I have to watch this.
Says the bases are drunk.
You know what's funny too is like i remember like when i was coming up like guys that were the announcers like that were old players just seemed so like i don't care about ralph kiner
or uh tom siever or like they were ahead of my time enough that i knew they were great but like
you don't have a connection yeah so. Yeah, so like these kids now
watching Keith, like to me, Keith is like
he should be in the
Hall of Fame. He should do everybody's
game. He should be the announcer for everyone in baseball.
But nobody cares about him. It drives me crazy to think that there's like a
15-year-old who's like, who's Keith Van?
The guy with the mustache.
Get over here. How dare you?
He's a legend, okay? Although I do think if you knew,
if you know the story of some of these old school guys,
I don't care, it transcends.
If I told you everything that Keith Hernandez did,
the Seinfeld episodes, the stories from 86, the way he played,
everybody's going to respect that.
Well, our other older guy is Jerry Remy, who is a huge, you know,
I think he was the president of Red Sox Nation and all that.
But his thing he's most known for now is baseball.
Not good, right?
His son is like a murderer.
Murdering his fiancée or girlfriend.
I don't think they were technically married.
It's always weird to listen to that one in the booth.
You're like, I don't know, man.
Maybe you should just retire.
Don't you got some better things to address right now?
Did he have something to do with it?
No, no, no, no, no.
It was just his son.
His son was a madman.
It was horribly – I think he was a steroid guy like he was a huge dude and right and he it
was i think like the massachusetts like penal system really botched it where he got out and
like two days later murder it was it was like he was in police custody it was released and then it
was like right but it's just like that's not something you really need in the back of your
mind in the baseball game it's not it's not in the forefront but it is. But it's just like, that's not something you really need in the back of your mind in the baseball game. It's not in the forefront, but it is sometimes lingering.
It's one of those things where he says something you disagree with and you're like, your son murdered his son.
Well, there's a good example.
Maybe his other son is way above that.
Which would you prefer?
Maybe we change the question to mass murder.
Unbelievable.
Last night was the Met Gala.
Yes.
I don't know where I fall in the Met Gala.
Not the kind of Mets that I fall in.
Yeah, really.
Like, totally different worlds.
That's the best way to put it.
I was watching some of the Keith Hernandez of E, you know,
commentating on this shit.
Oh, was there commentating?
Yeah, they have an E squad.
Oh, it's like a big deal now, right? right i mean it's like play by play it's wild
it's it's taken on like a whole life of its own where they just comment on like the outfits and
it's like their sport it's crazy like someone shows up in like a crazy outfit and it's like
it's like someone having a big game like oh my god now what what's the basic premise of even
having the thing is it a fundraiser it's a fundraiser for the Met? It's a fundraiser for the Met.
But what happens inside?
I think inside is some... Massive orgy?
I think people joke it's some eyes wide shut shit,
but I think it is very, very underlocking.
I think it's like kind of, you know,
like at some comedy shows, I think Chappelle did it
where they take your phone and they put it in the bag.
I think they take your phones there.
I remember like two years ago, I think Madonna sang inside
and no one expected it to happen,
but someone had snuck their phone and recorded it.
Oh, wow.
Sorry, we've got some bad news.
Madonna's going to sing tonight.
Yeah, let me tell you something.
If I go to the Met Gala and that's what happens, a Madonna performance,
I'm going to be sorely disappointed. I think it's very hoity-toity.
Although nowadays there are so many athletes going, I'm like,
I feel like if an athlete's invited it's kind of
like what granted they are the athletes like the tom brady's getting a little but it's like right
right like like i mean he's not going to something stupid in there yeah it's you you could it's
probably a fun i i would think of it as like weird shit whereas if it's like all these athletes i
think baker mayfield was there julie edelman was there yeah they're they're athletes is that where
lena dunham did her shit with Odell Beckham?
Yes.
Yes.
That was a couple years ago where she got mad.
He didn't know her, basically.
Right, right, right.
He wasn't nice enough to her.
He didn't acknowledge her.
I haven't fucking met you.
I don't know who you are.
Right.
That was the wildest shit.
But yeah, if you're putting Lena Dunham next to her.
She wore a whoopee cushion last night.
She's such an asshole.
I can't get started on her again.
I had a one-way raging vendetta for several years against her.
I can't get that hate fire back up.
You can't go back to that dark place?
Well, it got to the point where it was like running up the score.
I started to feel bad.
It was one thing, like once the rest of the world started to catch on,
that she kind of sucked, too.
Like, my job here is done.
Kind of, right?
I was just like, yeah.
You walked off like Lady Nilsandra.
My watch has ended.
Are you a Game of Thrones guy?
Yeah, yeah.
My wife and I just finished binging the last three.
So yeah, yeah.
Getting heavy into that.
Binging with a chick is always, with a girl you're in a relationship with, is always...
I think it's safe to say my wife and I are in a relationship.
Yeah.
If you're just mildly serious with a girl, I guess it's probably more living together.
But when you're expected to binge together, it can get precarious.
That's next level.
Yeah, well, that's true, too, because I was on the road doing some tour dates.
So you're allowed to watch.
Is she allowed to watch?
That's a strict no.
That's a heavy no.
It's a heavy no.
We can't, especially Game of Thrones.
Is it a one-way heavy no or a two-way heavy no, though?
Because I feel like a lot of times the guy can't and the girl can do whatever the fuck she wants.
Yeah, no, I mean, I kind of say to her, don't watch it, you know, but if you have to, okay.
But she's like, you better not, you know.
Exactly what I'm saying.
We had Glenn Howerton in here the other day.
I think it was after the season eight premiere.
And he was talking.
Oh, no, no, after the Battle of Winterfell.
Okay.
And we were like, did you see last night?
And he said, I haven't. I've been in the hotel and i was talking to my wife back on the west coast and she said can i watch it and he i had to explain to her i would prefer you didn't but
i can't stop you from doing anything and like i was like dude she watched it yeah
thrones is tough though because it's spoiler people don't care about spoilers anymore that's
true it is right it's all over social media
you have to just have to
go total dark
and I did it
because I was in New Orleans
this weekend
so I had a flight home
Sunday night
so I couldn't watch
until like midnight-ish
and I just had to go
totally dark on social media
which for me is
a very impressive feat
like three hours dark
we're addicted
that's very hard to do
sure
but like regular
I guess regular people
it's easier
I don't know what your wife does
but maybe it's easier
for her to not look at it yeah I mean just because of the nature of being a comedian you kind of have to do. Sure. But like regular, I guess regular people, it's easier. I don't know what your wife does, but maybe it's easier for her to not look at it. Yeah. I mean, just because of the nature
of being a comedian, you kind of have to do a certain amount of it. Right. Uh, but I try to do
what you did just even periodically, just like turn the phone off. Yeah. You know? Uh, but it's
funny what you say about like that dynamic of like, are you allowed to watch or whatever? Cause
I, when I was single, I didn't get that that and I even had a joke about like asking a friend
to go see Avengers
and he was like dude I can't
I'm saving it for Nicole
and I'm like I didn't ask to see your cock
it's just a movie
but now I get it
it's true right
you find yourself like oh okay
call him up like hey man
remember that time I busted your balls two years ago?
Sorry, man.
That's right.
I apologize.
I totally understand.
No idea.
See, I would just go and I would lie.
And, like, because I just – I can't believe that that would be a real breach of trust.
Like, I mean, come on.
You can't actually –
Are you that good an actor, though?
Because I feel like they can tell.
So I did it with a male friend who I lived with years ago and we were watching sun's
anarchy yeah and i i i don't know i go to bed really late at night and so like he would he
would go to sleep and i would watch by three more episodes but then i wouldn't even tell him so the
next night i'd watch those three episodes i just watched at about one o'clock in the morning
and then he'd go to bed and i'd watch the next three. And that went on for the double watch the entire.
I would feel like that's not worth it just for your own personal television consumption.
Like you have to watch it twice.
It's not.
It was like a principal thing, though, where it was just like, I want to I want to like, especially with the shows that end on a hook where I'm like, I have access to what happens here.
But let me let me ask you this.
Did you then have to feign like surprise at things that were going on?
Like, whoa.
I wouldn't initiate it, but if you'd be like, holy shit,
and he'd look at me, I'd be like, yeah, I know.
Does Sean know this?
Sean does not know this, no.
If I found that out about my friend, that he was doing that,
even for me to benefit from it, I'd be like, you're a fucking dick.
You are such an asshole.
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
You weirdo.
Why didn't you just tell me
you already watched?
I would have it like,
sometimes I just go,
because we had a couch set up
where he would sit on this couch
I guess you couldn't watch
if there was only one TV
or you couldn't watch.
Yeah, and I would be
on the couch behind him
so he couldn't see me.
And like,
who's the long-haired guy?
Jack.
Not Jack,
the other one.
The one who gets killed in prison.
Opie.
Opie. Like when Opie died and he's like, dude! And I had gets killed in prison. Opie. Opie.
Like when Opie died, and he's like, dude.
I had my phone in my hand, and I put it down.
I was like, yeah, that was nuts.
I can't believe it.
That was tough to see.
Jesus Christ.
That was tough to see twice.
But I can't imagine a woman or whoever you're in a relationship with
getting genuinely mad that you went in a relationship with getting genuinely mad
that you went to a movie.
Oh, really?
I still went to it with you.
You have a good one.
Just know other people don't.
We've never found ourselves in this situation.
Maybe she would, but I think if I'd gotten
that fight, I'd be like, come on.
There's so many things we can fight over.
We're going to fight over the Avengers right now?
Like, this is really the fight you want to have right now?
I'm telling you.
I think that's more complicated than you think.
But I don't participate in fights I don't want to believe in.
Is that right?
Yeah.
It works out pretty well, actually.
People always give you that look.
I'm like, it works, man.
It's worked with multiple girlfriends.
I'm like, this is silly.
I'm not doing this.
It's a philosophical thing.
He just chooses not to engage.
And I think it just drives girls fucking insane.
Yeah.
When they, you know, they want to fight.
They think they have a point.
I say, I understand your emotions.
I get you're upset.
But you put them in timeout essentially.
No, I let them be angry, but I'm like, I get you're mad.
Like, I'm sorry you're upset, but like, you know, this isn't a big thing.
I know you know that.
That is why you're not married yet, my friend.
Eventually that's going to have to change.
Nobody appreciates you saying, I see the big picture here.
You just don't get it.
This isn't important.
But it is.
Doesn't that work?
Of course you're right.
We're not breaking up over this.
I know you're not dumping me because I wanted to see The Avengers.
So why are we going to fight over it?
You'll learn.
You will learn, young gun.
Yeah, no, look, it's a breaking process, and you haven't been broken yet.
That's the thing.
I'm not saying that you're not right.
You are right that certain things are not worth fighting about.
But they decide that.
You don't decide that.
But I can't i'm
bad at faking so i guess i'm not a good actor i'm bad at faking emotion i'm bad like faking anger
like like if you want to fight with me like you can't fight with me because i know i'm not mad
about this like i you unless you have some deep dark shit that you're gonna fucking bring up about
me that will piss me off but like that topic itself if we know i'm you know they usually spiral into other things so like if you get down to like
the third circle of hell maybe down there i'll be like yep okay now i'm pissed but that first one
that first entrance i'm like this is this one's not doing it for me next topic this is like you
like you had the joke and then when you got married you realized i'm gonna play this conversation for
you one day that's right you know there are you realized, I'm going to play this conversation for you one day.
That's right.
There are two types of guys in this world.
There are broken ones
and single ones, basically.
And that's really it.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
You have to kind of
get over that thing of
that, you know,
that she's being unreasonable.
There's no such thing
as in their mind.
I don't say she's being unreasonable.
I say I understand your anger. But when you say that's not enough. This is not. This is not enough. That's no such thing as in their mind. I don't say she's being unreasonable. I say I understand your anger.
But when you say this is not
when you say the line
like this is I know you know this is not
a big deal. Yeah. I'm surprised you haven't been punched
yet.
I've been punched.
I've been hit a fucking lot.
It's like you're telling her
you're doing a really good
job of pretending this is a big deal.
Right?
You're a great actor.
I'm not.
I think I'm good at being passionate about things that I'm passionate about,
but otherwise, I'm like, this is...
I can't even muster up the argument here.
This fight doesn't move the needle for me.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to need more.
This is very Costanza, very Seinfeld.
This fight does not do it for me.
I choose not to engage.
So a year and a half for you.
So you're in the newlywed phase.
We are, yeah, yeah.
It's good.
I mean, my wife and I knew each other, like, we met 12 years ago.
My best friend introduced us, like, 12 years ago, and we dated, like,
How old are you now?
I just turned 50.
Oh, wow, you look great.
Thanks, thanks.
We're not going to guess that.
It's marriage, man.
It does wonders.
So you held out until 48 and a half?
48, yeah, yeah.
Oh, all right.
So you had a great run.
Yeah.
So it was like, I mean, I used to do a joke that I was in my 40s, never married, no kids.
I did it.
I made it through the maze.
So that was kind of like where I was at.
Like, man, this couldn't get any better.
But I always loved my now wife.
She was the one that I thought was the one, but we kind of just broke up,
and she traveled the world.
She was in fashion design.
So I kind of just dated other people, did my thing.
But always in the back of my mind, she was like the one that got away.
But then she texted me about three years ago and just said,
I'm back in New York.
You want to go for coffee?
So she was thinking the same thing all those years.
Yeah, yeah.
So she invented the shit.
Yeah, it is.
And you know what?
I think if you make it to 40, 48 and a half, whatever, I think your marriage is probably going to be rock solid.
Yeah.
I mean, at that age, I would imagine you weren't going to just get married for the sake of getting married.
You were going to marry if it was perfect.
That's right.
A lot of people now, your late 20s, early 30s, you feel like you have to get married.
You settle or you do something impulsive.
Yes.
And I had been through all those cycles of friends who got married in their 20s,
friends who got divorced.
In their 20s.
Yeah.
Even like the next year or whatever.
So I kind of had seen all the different variations.
So yeah, when she kind of came back into my life,
I was also a little bit like, all right, let's pump the brakes.
I know I love her, and I always kind of thought she was the one,
but let's not get too crazy.
Were you thinking about, were you not trying to get married?
Were you like, I'm going to be a bachelor for life?
I wouldn't say that, no.
You were open to it.
I was open, but it just had to be the right fit you know so then when she
kind of came groveling back no um no it just it kind of picked up and i you know it like i was
cautious but when when i met her for coffee and when we hung out it was just the right vibe and
enough we had lived enough life both of us we had lived enough life she had traveled she had done
everything she needed to do.
So it was like, yeah.
You had all your fun.
That's right.
So we could be married and not have fun anymore.
That's right.
All of that is over.
I'm divorced now.
I feel like if I even consider number two, it's going to have to be like absolutely perfect.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. Like I'm not trying to do that again.
Sure.
So like it's got to be – I'll probably be 48 and a half,
and maybe it'll be, like, someone who reemerges.
Yeah, the same theory applies with the children.
You have one, like, below average.
One average and one great.
You know?
We could be onto something here.
Do you, like, as you get older, do you come out the other side of,
like, are you getting married?
Does it, like, are people always asking, asking, so are you ever going to get married?
Do people stop asking you at some point?
Yeah, I think especially because I was doing that type of material on stage where I was like, I got it made.
I made it through.
People kind of saw me as like, oh, this guy's happy.
Must be nice.
It was nice, yeah.
I meant happiness in general, but that too.
Just the feeling of happiness.
Be content with life.
Yeah.
No, but, you know, finding, like, someone that I truly loved and, you know,
like I tell young guys this all the time.
It's like don't be in a rush or don't,
if you have any doubt as to why you're doing it or whatever,
or even just, you know, put it off for six
months.
Don't feel pressured into it or whatever.
Just do it when it's a partner that you love sitting watching Game of Thrones with, or
just somebody that, you know, if they do watch it, it's not going to be a big fight.
That kind of thing.
I feel like that's like the hot question.
Like, would 28 to 35 be the time?
People are like, so are you guys getting married? Are you getting married? And I feel like after that, it's just like, no, they're doing the hot question. Like, would 28 to 35 be like the time? People are like, so are you guys getting married?
Are you getting married?
Yeah.
And then after that, it's just like, no, they're doing well.
I think eventually they start to go.
There's something wrong with them.
It's rude to ask him.
I have my uncle.
I think it's much worse for chicks.
My uncle was dated his like high school sweetheart for like 16 years or something like that.
And it was the same thing.
Like even it was like, I think like my parent, my mom would ask like, when are you guys getting
married?
And then she grew out of it. But then I was like six. So I would ask like, when are you guys getting married? And then she grew out of it.
But then I was like six.
So I'd be like, when are you guys getting married?
So then you fucking too.
You're my goddamn little nephew.
But you know, the weird thing is it, there's no like predicting, you know, like the people
who are high school sweet, sweethearts and get married.
Like sometimes that, that lasts for like my, actually, is their 53rd anniversary.
Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, crazy.
And they still love each other, and, you know,
they're, like, still, like, high school sweethearts around each other.
So, like, you can't really predict, you know.
Yeah, it's a real fucking crapshoot marriage.
I mean, yeah.
For me to say, oh, yeah, wait until you're 48.
No, don't do that, you know.
It's different for everyone.
Was there, I still firmly believe that, like,
you can live with a girl, date a girl for 16 years,
you put a ring on it, you do the marriage thing, and something still shifts.
Did you feel that at that age?
We're getting real deep over here.
Well, you know, I felt like the shift was a good thing, though.
I felt like the shift was like, oh, man, I have a wife now, you know?
It's like that word just sounds more serious than it's my girlfriend or whatever.
I'm an adult now.
Yeah, I'm a provider.
I don't know what I'm providing.
Yeah, so just that next level of responsibility or being an adult,
this thing that was elusive for 48 years.
But no, it's cool.
I love it.
I try not to even in my act, if I talk about marriage,
I try to avoid that hack thing of like, oh, the ball and chain or I got to ask the boss.
I try to talk about it like in an interesting way that still lets everybody know she's the boss.
You mentioned like how it's a more serious word.
You got in right under the radar because I actually think that people over 50 shouldn't be able to call girlfriend a boyfriend.
I could sign off on that yeah i think you're like no you're not man this is weird you guys got like gray hair and shit yeah what would the word be i it did i i've
been it's been a quest of mine for like two years now i still haven't i mean we want to find a word
for people over 50 who are dating and for breasts. I think tits are too hard.
I think boobs are too goofy.
For older people?
No, just like even me.
I don't like saying tits.
I don't like saying boobs.
And I certainly don't like you saying breasts.
Well, maybe we can switch those two things up.
Like once you have a partner over 50, that's your boob.
And call your tits your life partners.
This is my life partners.
All right. We're going to get you in front of a camera to do some stupid hypotheticals.
So right now, the new special Senior Class of Earth.
Yes.
That's out now.
And the podcast is a little bit of me.
A little bit me me a little bit me
a little bit me um so go check that out ted alexandro thanks for coming by my pleasure thank
you very much um