KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Best Inventions

Episode Date: August 14, 2020

KFC & Kayce debate the top 5 greatest inventions of all time. Air conditioning, the remote control and the vibrator are all contenders. Zah once didn't shower for 2 weeks. If there were no elevators, everyone would have a great ass.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Oh. Kevin. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome back, welcome back.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing? You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. Come on, we've been back.

We're back. We got the Islanders on here, and the Panthers just put the biscuit in the basket. Down 3-1, the Islanders are. 17 minutes left in the third, so I'm sure Frankie Borelli is putting his head in the oven right now. What's the matter, Casey? What's the matter, Casey? I'm beefing with the microphone again. The microphone's winning.

The microphone is undefeated against you, like 1,000 to no. Honestly, it feels kind of good that I'm beefing with the microphone because I haven't in a long time that means we're back but I don't know who sits here for the yak but that's who I should actually be beefing with it could potentially be about 11 people there's like 11 different choices on the yak people don't even have seats like there's so many people but like what is this

that's happening in front of me right now just shut up and talk shut up and dribble nobody cares about my microphone issues we got the rocket that's happening in front of me right now. Well, just shut up and talk. I am, you know, like shut up and dribble. Shut up and talk. Yeah, that's fair. Nobody cares about my microphone issues, but me,

we got the rocket. Uh, no. So serious issues, issues everywhere. I'm messing with me. It keeps changing his connection. And you know what?

The thing is, the people need the rocket. They want the rockets. Ah, they need their fix. We're trying, trying out there in the launching pad. Who fucking knows what he's

up to lost power or something clem to clem beitumbo does not have power for the next four days what three to four days is the uh diagnosis if you will for uh he's north of the wall and they lost power because this storm and he said three to four days. And that is literally not an option in the year 2020. It's not an option. I would be going to a hotel. I'd be going to a family member's house. I would not, especially he goes, do you know how hard it is to tell a five-year-old

that they can't play video games because there's no electricity? That's a concept that like kids, you know, young kids are never going to get because there's no electricity. That's a concept that like kids, you know, young kids are never going to get that. There's no electricity. Like, I mean, even,

you know, growing up, like sometimes we'd have internet. Sometimes we wouldn't sometimes, Hey, you can't go on the internet right now. Cause your, your parents are on the phone.

Like these are things that the younger generation just, that's not even a thing. It's just a constant power and internet are just things that they are used to. And now he's got to tell his five-year-old, sorry, you can't play games. What is he going to do for the next four days? I mean, I just by myself would want to jump off a bridge without power. And I mean, that means no air conditioning and everything. So it's hot outside.

He was in his car last night to do the Mets postgame because he plugged the phone into the USB in there. And that's the only way you can get some juice. So they're just going to stay. No shot. I'd stay. No chance. No chance. My air conditioning.

Two kids. So it's not exactly easy to just pack up and go. If it was just like, I don't know, just go find some dude to bang him and go sleep in his apartment. But Clem can't do that with the whole clan. But almost then the opposite. All the more reason to figure out a way. Like if you were by yourself, it's easy to go, but it might also be easy to be like,

I don't know, I'm just going to read it or like hang out for a couple days, whatever. When you have kids and shit, you got to kill time. I mean, if I didn't have the iPads, if I didn't have TV and music, like all that shit, I mean, I don't know. I have no clue how people raised kids in, you know, the olden days. Or even just like in the 90s and 80s i guess just go yeah just go climb a tree break your bones i've seen stranger things i know how the right just go ride your bike all that shit but i mean i mean i'm pretty good about it

like i don't i don't want my kids to turn into like zombies so i'll be like no no i'll put the ipad down like let's play like hide and seek let's play a game or whatever but at the end of the day like when it comes time to like when we're at the finish line i'm like quiet time everyone go to your room with your ipads and like play games say dances to songs keegan just watches lord knows what i'm not like it's about survival you know especially when you're alone i can't imagine when you're when you're a single parent and you got multiple kids it's just like whatever whatever it takes to get to bedtime yeah there's no chance that i would be able to do that with one other person even.

Like if I had to like keep them entertained, like a child, let alone two. You got to keep your wife happy and then you have two kids, one very young, one who's almost the worst age. She's five. So she's like old enough to be aware and to like, hey, where is my shit

that I usually play with? You can't just distract. I mean, it's got to it's got to be a catastrophe my air conditioning went out last summer when we had that heat wave blackout and i still had power i stayed in my apartment for a grand total of one night until it was fixed i was like absolutely not you know what's funny i'm leaving when you were growing up you're a couple years younger than me but we're basically the same but did you ever have like i remember um no air conditioner like i remember going to yeah it's not an option no yeah absolutely not like i remember going to my uh my family's my uncle and uncle had a jersey shore house that just didn't have ac and i remember going there and like you know just sweating it out i might my grandpa up

in fucking meadville pennsylvania he just didn't have air conditioning so we went to visit you know i would just stare at the ceiling and sweat my dick off all night and now it just seems like it's maybe it's because i'm getting bougie maybe it's because i just i'm spoiled but like are there people out there who just still kind of do like the no ac thing it's that's insane i the first time i ever experienced a no air conditioning house was when i moved to the east coast and went to my friend's Cape house. And like she didn't have a lot of like, I mean, I guess it makes sense to have an older house on Cape Cod. Maybe like I mean, it wasn't like central air, but no, the wall units, you got to get the window units. Yeah, no.

But I mean, in Texas, I mean, it's like 100 degrees for like three straight months. You have to have air conditioning in Texas. That's what's funny is like you go to like the places like South Florida or Texas where it's hot, but you'll almost always be more comfortable because places have to don't like legally have to have air conditioning. Sure. Yeah. So like, I mean, I've never even it never even crossed my mind that places wouldn't have air conditioning year around until I moved to the East Coast. Well, I mean, I think air conditioning is the most important invention of all time. More than the internet? Yeah. Okay.

I can get behind that. Because there was a time where there was no internet. The internet's kind of like a luxury, and you can make the argument that air conditioning is, but just feeling comfortable, I think, is a must-have. I would way rather be freezing cold than super hot. Definitely. Like heat. I don't think I turned the winter over.

Like this heat wave that we've had in New York for like two straight weeks of like 95 plus, you know what? It's disgusting. I don't get when people, when it's like zero degrees and a blizzard out, people are like, Oh, we got to stay inside.

Like, you know, like get cozy, stay home. But when it's the summertime, people, you know, let's go to the beach.

It's hot. Let's go to the pools. Like how about, no, how about we just sit inside in the fucking air conditioner? No, if you can get to a body of water, that's the summertime people you know let's go to the beach it's hot let's go to the pool it's like how about no i will be just sit inside in the fucking air conditioner no if you can get to a body of water that's the difference when it's 95 yeah you sit in a pool yeah oh yeah because then you're the second you get out you're fucking hot again but you can stay in the water i would much rather yeah or just like people want to be like like like to go to like an outdoor bar or something when it's hot in the summer oh that's what we have to do right now across the board but no i do agree with that but i i think top five inventions of all time okay what do you got

you're putting me on the spot i'll go because i've done this a few times okay can i pick the same ones that you do of course i mean five is five i mean uh i will go i mean you know it's tough because you can say things like the automobile. It's like, you know, you need fucking cars. The airplane. But I would say like for personal, like just like your day to day life and shit. Day to day life. Air conditioning.

OK, I agree with that one. Internet. Post sign. TV remote control. What do you mean? You're going to get up and change the channel? If you have the internet, you don't have to have that. I mean, there was a long time where internet and TV were not like the same exact thing.

I know, but now. But I'm saying of all time. Oh, okay, okay, okay. The last 30 years, if every time I wanted to change the channel, I had to get up. Not an option. Not a fucking option. I mean, it's a very important thing. I don't think I'd put it in my top five.

What would you do with TV without it I would just go stand up and change it are you insane I mean you would get up off the couch every time

like OG days where you were like channel surfing looking for something you would just sit there and like turn the dial and then like find something and like oh maybe

I want to watch this and like two minutes in you're like oh wait a minute this isn't actually that funny let me get back up off the couch and change the channel again i'm not saying that it would be ideal but i don't think that i would put it in my top five it's like it's like catastrophic i mean do you take the elevator every every time you take the stairs elevators are way up there so that's the thing is like i'll take the stairs if i have the

option so it's like okay well i'll just what mean, also... To what? Like the third floor? Yeah. I probably wouldn't go any higher than three. Maybe four. Elevator, air conditioner, TV remote. Internet. Internet. Is that five?

No, that's four. And then microwave. Okay, I'll go air conditioning, internet. Is running water one? Well, that's what I mean i mean yeah technically like plumbing and electricity are like you know i mean i feel like that's important airplanes and airplanes yeah i would put airplanes as probably like automobiles are like number one for sure like mass transit there's a lot of things that like okay so we're taking those out but yeah just like the stuff that

you kind of have access to that you would use on a daily basis that, you know, it's it's more like smartphones. Yeah. I mean, that's where with the Internet, it's like you could you could narrow it down. Like I would say that Twitter itself is like the most important thing. Cell phones. Can you say cell phones? So cell phones, Internet, air conditioning, microwave and. Vibrators. You know what? what it was going to wasn't it it was like should i say it i don't know that is that you know that's that is how

well you know me at this point as it was like floating into my brain to say it you said that was casey being like you finished what are my me. What are my agents going to say? Is anyone from my family listening? What does this do for my image? No, no. She's just talking about blasting off. I didn't actually take any of those things into consideration. I was like, Casey, there's surely got to be something else

that's more important than that. And now, I mean, yeah. You just finished my sentence for me. I've ranted about this before, but it's such bullshit. Is i guess i would just go straight tv i mean that's almost like you know when i say the tv remote i guess i have to say the tv um but yeah i mean that's that's certainly on there it's such bullshit by the way that there's just still such a stigma for men's sex toys and you can just casually joke about like the most important invention ever is a vibrator if i were to be here being like yeah i need my rubber pussy people would be like lock him up put him in an

institution he's a fucking creep yeah such bullshit you know it is i mean it's it not in the exact same way but it's like we've had the argument about if dude should be able to wear spanks or not it is it's that same same stigma but i mean i guess it is just like you guys can just do more well that's you know what it is i think it's like we all acknowledge that it's so goddamn hard for you hoes to come that we're like, they need machinery. They need like an invention to help them do this. Whereas with a guy, it's like, you know, you can just, you know, use your hand and you're fine and you need you need to go get like a machine or a doll or something.

That means you're going the extra mile. But also it's like the equipment it's just it's an equipment do you think that'll be de-stigmatized no yeah i don't feel like that's changing like i don't feel like that's changed at all yeah like as as you know as things have gotten more progressive like certain sex acts and certain things that guys like and are doing now in the past you'd be like that's gay or that's weird and they're doing that but sex toys for men i think is still like you're a weirdo yeah yeah if you if you said one of those of your top five inventions like it would have been yeah like you would like for you

for you it was first of all like real and second of all we can just laugh about it if i were to be like it's either cars or a rubber machine sex doll or some shit, you'd be like, okay, weirdo. Yeah, I'd be like, I'm not comfortable being in here. No, but I do feel like just it's one of those things. Maybe it will change someday, but it's just that's one of those double standards for girls and guys. There's a lot of them that go both ways. Unfortunately, we have the sex toys on our side. I mean, there's a lot of other shit that you guys get burned on, so we'll give you the sex machine.

Thank you. I appreciate that. I shall grant that thank you i really like you guys can just go like hook up with whoever you want and it's no problem and girls usually get more shamed that i do think that's changing that's changed a lot like just the term slut shaming being a thing now it means we're acknowledging that like you know what it's tough too though it's like i get it you shouldn't be shamed for like if you just like hook up with people but if you're just like a wildly reckless person with sex i do think there's i mean shame is a harsh word but it's like i think the same thing with guys it's like when you know uh the rumors about like

chris talia were like you know not only uh with like the underage like crime but it was just like this dude hooks up with like so manyage like crime but it was just like this dude hooks up with like so many people like that when you hear about somebody having sex with like thousands of girls that makes me go like oh yeah that's fucking but think about this like if it was a female that had the exact same story minus the crimes we'll take the crimes off the table like it would be seen even crazier even crazier but it's not like like there is a if a girl hooks up with a handful of guys in a weekend or something, it's like, well, slut, if a guy does it, no big deal. But when you start to get to high enough numbers, it's weird for everybody. Every sex.

But I think that's the that's the thing is where it's like who's drawing that line of the number, you know? Yeah. But but I bet Hollywood's got a completely different idea. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Because it's all about like, what do you have have access like what if it's possible for you a lot of people who would be like oh like that's crazy it's like well that's because you don't have you know anybody who's interested in having sex with you you know uh but i think the i think the reason why there's a

difference is because like the power of the pussy is the phrase that's the old adage right and they're really there's really no like power of the dick no so when i when i think about it it's like it's weird but it's like you have a uh an asset if you will that you can use like in a in a way that uh you can get you know what you want or or and and when you're reckless with it it's kind of like i just think it's a it's like a bad business decision it's like you shouldn't just give that away because it's like a very coveted um scarce commodity is that what was kindle jenner's tweet about that that went super viral whenever they were like shaming her for hooking up with all the nba players and she quote tweeted it and was like i can throw this around wherever i want right

and it was like whoa that guy that had to have been photoshopped but she quote tweeted it and was like I can throw this around wherever I want and it was like whoa that had to have been photoshopped but it wasn't that's what I mean it's like I can use this you know like you can be literally about it and be like I can have like a sugar daddy I can get money I can like whatever but it's more just like you know

if you're trying to date if you want like a relationship to be a certain way if you want a certain dynamic you can utilize it and if you're trying to date, if you want like a relationship to be a certain way, if you want a certain dynamic, you can utilize it. And if you just like, whatever, here you go. I'm not saying you should be like shamed for it.

And I do think that's the difference where it's like guys, you can give out the dick cause nobody really cares about it. Yeah. It's, it is a, there's a double standard, but you're also right. Like it's the way,

it's the way our brains are wired. Yeah. You have the more, uh, your, uh Your body part is more powerful. It's like... Well, that's because of your brain, though. But that's because of your brain. Yes, but also

just on a basic level, dicks are... They fire off too early. They can be too small. Like a... This is good and bad, butussy's kind of a pussy. It's kind of like this thing is always

going to give you. It's like Mike Trout. You're going to get 35 and 100 every fucking year. OPS over 1,000 every year. The dick is like, I don't know. It's going to be pretty up and down. But I still think that that just speaks more to the way that guys think versus the way girls think.

Yeah, probably like the, didn't you guys have a hypothetical on either ATI or KFC radio? Like if you switched like brains, like what? No, we did switch spot. Uh, we did,

we did. If girls had guys, body parts and guys, uh, no. Yeah. Cause this is where the final board gave the infamous Timothy Chalamet answer, which was,

it was like ridiculous, who do you think would be better off men's brains with girls' bodies or girls' bodies with men's brains? I think girls' brains is going to win every time, no matter what body part. Just because what?

Because if guys' brains were in girls' bodies, then they would see guys' bodies the way that you see girls' bodies now. I guess it's not really more brains and bodies. It's probably more like hormones and shit like that. Like if you got if you girls had the same level of like reckless horniness that guys do. Like I don't think that's the difference. I mean, there are definitely girls guys do. On average, yeah, yeah. I mean, there are definitely girls that do.

Yes, but for the most part, I think you can say, I'm not going to hook up with my ex, fuck this guy from the bar, have a one-night stand, whatever it is. I think you guys have a better shot at holding out. But it's a brain thing.

I'm saying whether it's a brain or a hormone or whatever it is. So you because of our but it's a brain thing yeah i'm saying whether it's a brain or a hormone or whatever it is so you switch that yeah then it's different definitely yeah but i just think wherever wherever the girls as we have them now it's more brains and hormones land it doesn't matter what body part whether it's brain or self-control girls have more self-control yeah sure again generally speaking generally yeah across the board. Whereas guys will be like, whatever. The minute, the second you come as a guy,

you're like, I can't believe I did this. Every time? No, no, no. I'm saying when you make a reckless decision, it's like in the moment, you're like,

you know what? It's fine. We'll hook up again. She's fine. She's good. This won't be a problem. And if there is a problem, you know,

it's not if you're right. If you're happy to hook up or you're in a relationship it's not but when the minute you do something questionable like the second it's out of your body you're like oh what have i done but i think that that would change if you had a female if you had a female body you would feel that way just in a female body it would make the power go to the penis the power of the penis would be very fun it would be very funny because also i don't even like saying that word, but the double P right there is really... I mean, there's something...

They're a weird... I mean, not exactly like the female body parts are the best to look at up close, but dicks and balls can get weird, you know? Yeah, I guess. It's like... I think YP said it on one of these shows. Oh, you know what it is?

When we were talking about how, which cold takes exposed right now about how none of them wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. That take died so fast. Can I tell you something? Oh no. That take is back.

That take cannot be back. That take is back. No, it can't be. Yes, it is. You guys still aren't washing your hands? Yeah. You know there's a global pandemic about washing your hands?

I know. It's just like it's been on like it's been going on long enough. No shot. I think you're saying that. I mean, I know I can only speak for me and John, but I know for a fact that we're back. We're back, baby. Zai, you still washing your hands like you were back in like March? What I will say is the global pandemic to me now is like kind of the i forget about it now like when it was march

yeah march into april i mean i was like every time i went to the bathroom of course but just like five times a day like anytime i walk by a purell anytime i walk by the sink wash it up i just watched you do it when you walked in the radio and i'm not saying i don't ever do it but it was on my mind for the pandemic it's not anymore that's crazy yeah there was a time where john wouldn't even like he wouldn't even touch anything without having hand sanitizer and now i feel like this is just a you guys thing perhaps but i have learned over the years the reason why we have any modicum of success in this world is because a lot of people can relate to what we're saying. Oh, that's okay. Put out a Barstool Radio poll. Say guys only.

And have people call in because the last time we did this, we had it for like three days. We argued about this. And to me, it was more that you guys faked washing your hands because that makes no sense to me. It makes perfect sense. You don't have to wash them off. You don't have to dry them off. I was it now or do you just i was actually never much

of a faker to be honest yeah i mean i just i don't fake it i don't i don't understand there were times there were times where uh by the way put the poll out say um like are you guys are you still washing your hands as much as frequently as you did at the start of the pandemic does that work well i think okay to be fair across the board that's probably lower because like i was washing my hands five times a day too i'm talking about just the simple fact of like the argument that we all got into about guys not washing their hands in the bathroom you would think now that that's an old take cold cold take exposed because it's like well you should everybody should be washing their hands more often and that's a layup wash your hands situation you don't even have to think about it it's not like you have to be like oh shit i haven't washed my hands in a

couple hours i should get up and go to a sink and do it it's like you walk out of a door that has a sink right next to it no just don't do it and i mean like i i i i will like you know people like don't touch your face don Don't touch your eyes. At this point, I'm like, let me rub my eyes. I'll, you know, if I got to hang now, I'll bite it off. I mean, I'm breaking all the rules now. I'm a bad boy. No, but I mean, I just, I just don't.

I'm an idiot. Dangerous. You're dangerous. But I'm not, I don't think, I don't think that anybody, unless you're like a super germ freak or like, you're still really, really worried about catching it is washing their hands near as much. I know I'm not. My hands are raw. But I'm saying I'm back to almost where I was.

With the exception of the occasional more Purell, sure. The only, back before all this, if I was in a different, if I was in a place I'm not, I'm at someone else's office or something else and I see people in a public bathroom and I thought to myself like this is again not not worried about the cleanliness i'm more just like that person's

gonna see me and i should wash my hands like a social thing now like especially if i'm not here say i'm at the but i'm in the bathroom at barstool and someone else walks in i'll look you dead in the fucking eyes and walk right out without washing my hands i don't give a fuck i mean the bars we're just disgusting across the board here. You guys are animals. I promise you, like, my dick's not that dirty, okay? No, but it's more, it's, okay. I do understand that.

And I don't know who made the argument. Maybe it was Roan. Somebody made the argument that you should actually, like, just wash your hands beforehand. Before I touch my dick. It was Ruben. It was Ruben, the security guard from the last building. He said that. Oh, Ruben from the clouds. He said that your dick is covered up all day, so you should actually wash your hands before you walk in.

I'm touching the subway pole, and then I'm supposed to touch my dick and then wash my hands? No, no, no. That is backwards. But I think it's just a bigger picture thing of everybody knows that washing your hands right now is so important. And listen, I can admit I'm not washing them as much. But if there's a sink next to me and I can wash my hands, it's a convenience thing. It's like the same reason why Casey,

you know how easy it is to lift the toilet seat. We don't do that either. But that, that makes more sense because you're just not even faking it. If there are still guys right now that are faking washing their hands, knowing that the, you know, the coronavirus obviously was a big,

and that it's just like, you still take the time. If you're going to stand there and turn it on, you might as well do it. When we had people calling in, there was so many, they would say that they would, they'd motion sensor the water,

they would pump soap into the sink and then grab towels or air dry their hands and walk out. And I just don't under, I do not understand that. Every you're going to do every step, that's crazy. I would maybe turn it on, maybe get my hands wet. That's it.

Just a time thing. I will accept that argument. I still think that it's dumb. I'll accept it because it's just really easy to wash your hands. Doing all the other steps is pretty much you're not even saving time. When people said to wash your hands to the lyrics of Happy Birthday, doing a full Happy Birthday of hand washing twice yeah i mean that's fucking insanity that's like the only thing worse than that is brushing your teeth for two minutes you brush

your teeth for two minutes you might as well be there for half an hour it's insane yeah when using like a quip toothbrush it lets you know it's like god i've been standing here for a really long time it's like i'm supposed to still be on my lower right molars come on guys i would have been done by the with the whole thing but but the faking washing your hands it's like you're not gonna fake brush your teeth why are you fake washing your hands i know i mean i know kids of kids yes that's why they're just being you know you wet the brush and you put it back and act like you did it i remember i knew uh my ex-wife's friend when she was like older would go into the bathroom turn the shower on and just like sit in

the bathroom and not shower maybe wet her hair afterwards whatever to try to convince her parents she showered but she oh as a kid but like as like a like a teenager almost like not like a kid it's i mean it's at some point you just learn that showers actually feel really good so i never understood people who don't like showering showering is great it feels great i mean maybe if you have a shitty shower but as a kid i was a no showering guy but i hated showering but how old so i probably i probably got into actually as soon as i hit puberty that's when i started you know taking care of myself yeah i went there was one time i went like two weeks yeah two weeks without showering you were just faking it or did you just refuse no so so what happens is we had it was a time in the it

was a time in zimbabwe's history where we had a lot of power problems. So with no power, your giza isn't working. So it was like during the winter, and I mean I'm not trying to take a cold shower in the morning. Yeah, fuck that. Well, that's a good excuse. I mean the water was available, but I could heat it up on the stove. But fuck that. Can you imagine – I mean when Zah tells these stories, I'm like we just have lived completely different lives.

I'm like I can't live a millisecond without air conditioning and za's like well i had to heat up the water i'm with you i'm with you there now i can't do it anyway you get used to it now it's amazing how fast you can acclimate to things like when i go back to texas which i rarely do but and it's like a hundred and something degrees i act as if i've never been in before and i lived my childhood there with like the phone it's like i, I I'm old enough that like I grew up where, you know, commutes used to suck because you would just sit on the train and just stare. And then if there was, if it was a delay or if you're stuck in traffic or whatever, it's like, this sucks. Now a commute means nothing. Cause it's like, I would get home and be on my phone i can

just be on the phone on the train right but i and i i had a long time of that and now but if i if my phone dies on the train rather than just being like all right i remember how this used to be i'm like stop the prices i'm gonna go buy a charger i'm gonna plug it into the fucking outlet on the train like it can't happen if my phone dies on an airplane and i'm on a broke airplane that i mean it's a broken plane down you broke airlines how do you not have fucking electricity at every single seat because i mean crash it into a mountain like i it's a panic like i'll start like getting rid of all my apps turning the lights down i'm like what am i gonna do sitting on this airplane like closing your tabs like that yeah it definitely doesn't matter doing whatever i can

i will say i really realized how sad this is so when you get your eyelashes done which again i don't i mean i'm sure guys get them done too but no this isn't maybe not but you your eyes are closed right for like an hour hour and a half however long it takes that's crazy and and that's boring well you i listen to podcasts i listen to music there was one time where and so of course like and this is just bougie new york but pre-pandemic they would also give you hand and feet massages while you were getting your eyelashes done so it's beautiful that's good because you can close well it's awesome but like i would still want to listen to something and she accidentally hit the top of my phone that was like sitting on my stomach or my chest and it stopped the podcast and it was like

very early into the situation and i you can't say anything because your eyes have to be closed and i sat there in silence didn't you be like you can't open them but you could say like oh my i guess you'd have to ask her to like turn it on yeah like i mean it's just like she all she did she just knocked it like i don't know like if it just pressed pause if it whatever and i just my podcast stopped and it was sheer panic and i was like casey you have to just lay here for an hour and get your eyelashes how funny is that though like you're doing probably the most extra unnecessary thing in the world to be oh absolutely your eyelashes done for sure and and then you need to be entertained while doing it it's just the embodiment of how like spoiled we are it's ridiculous i mean granted then i if you get like a back massage i don't want any music or anything other than like the nice little spa

sounds yeah but i mean i i really like when i got up after an hour of just sitting there in my thoughts like this is the most pathetic thing ever you couldn't go probably an hour you should do more of that probably it's like almost like meditation you know what i mean i mean i like sleep with the tv on like i just i always have stimulation yeah especially with the vibrator uh let's go to some of the calls before the break here. We're talking inventions. We've covered an array of topics here. Yeah, we really have. We packed it into the first half hour.

Let's go to Mike from California. What's up, Mike? What's good? How are you, man? Hanging in there. Doing a lot better than you. I got power. Hey, I mean, no, I'm good, too.

Clem is the one you got to send your prayers to. Oh, I feel bad for her. Yeah. Lots of prayers. Casey, first of all, no one wants to take the stairs over the fucking elevator. No one. That's a crazy take. There are a lot of people in Barstool that do.

I mean, I do it. We go up one flight of stairs. Right, but even at the old office. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I capped it off at like three or four. If it's three, if it's above two, no shot. I did it at the old office. And I yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I capped it off at like three or four. If it's three, if it's above two, no shot.

I did it at the old office. And I have a choice. No, trust me. I'm not saying that a mass amount of people would want to go up like four or five flights. But there are a lot of people. You didn't have it in your top five, did you? What? Elevators?

No. Yeah. But what if it's above the third? The city of New York wouldn't exist without elevators. What if you went to? Well, yeah. I mean, obviously, it's a really important... It's an important invention, but it's not in my top five.

I mean, I'm not discrediting how important elevators are. It really actually is. Like, it's a huge invention. And actually, air conditioning and elevators go hand in hand because... Thank you. It used to be, like, if you were going to build up, you needed an elevator obviously to go above like the fourth or fifth floor right but also as you got higher

it was hot as fuck yeah you couldn't live on the 30th floor if there was no air conditioning so kind of like ac went hand in hand with elevators in order to create skyscrapers which allowed like cities to exist so those are actually like imperative to like the modern world as we know it but i would still i would still say air conditioning is more important to me than an elevator as long as i mean like i if i if i had but if you made that your choice if that was not one of your inventions allowed you could just like never go above like the fourth well that i mean that would change things or i would just take i mean i i feel like i would much rather live in a situation where I have to walk

up 10 flights of stairs every day than not have air conditioning I mean I would if you said you can either have air conditioning or you have to write versus like a 10 fucking stories. It would suck but you know what else would suck? Living in anywhere in 90 to 100 degree weather and sweating

your ass off every night. But that's why I think they both gotta be on there I mean what if you have groceries, you have furniture, you have things you got to get up? I completely agree. And I have friends who have walk-up places in New York that every time I go, I think to myself, thank God I have an elevator in my building. I live on the second floor of my building. I take the stairs. But when I want to go to the rooftop, 27 floors, I'm not taking the fucking stairs.

I mean, I remember guys who, I knew guys who lived on a six-story walk-up, which I think is like legally like the limit. I don't think you can make people walk up like seven stories, but they used to like take a girl home and they would like trick, they would not tell them deliberately. And then they get to the apartment and you're drunk and it's late and it's like, we gotta go up. And they wouldn't tell them and you're on like the third

story and the fourth story. Eventually they'd be like, wait a minute. It's like, yeah, we got two more to go, babe. Sorry. Casey, what about all the rooftop pools you visit? We're acting as if I said I don't want elevators to exist. I just didn't put it in my top five.

But all the things you love, you could not do. It's got to be in your top five. Okay, so of my top five and I said TV, cell phone, internet, air conditioning, and microwave, those five things are way more important to me than an elevator. If I had to give up one of those things and take the elevator- I think you can give up a microwave.

Microwave, 100% give up a microwave. I mean, how much you can order takeout, you can cook in other ways. Yeah, I guess so. But again, elevator is extremely important and I understand that. But you can actually still get to the top of things a different way. If you don't have a microwave, you can't cook food the same way. It's not as fun to take the stairs, but you can still get up to the top. If you just don't have a microwave, you can't.

But not, I mean, an oven. If you want to cook a sweet potato, it takes five minutes in the microwave. You got to go an hour, an hour and a half. You got to go an hour and a half in the fucking oven. You know how long it would take me to climb 40 flights of stairs? I'm picturing Casey scaling a building with those suction cups on the windows.

Again, elevators, extremely important. I still don't think they're in my top five. Yes, the rooftop pools thing, that's a great argument, but also, large buildings. I'm from Dallas. That's a great, it's a great argument, but also, also here's, also here's a large buildings.

Yeah. Well, I'm from Dallas. It's not like I'm from like the fucking boons. You see plenty of skyscrapers in my life. Um, and now I live in New York, so whatever. But I will say too, though, if there were no elevators, every girl's ass would look way better. So like I stare, I, my cardio when I go to the gym,

RIP is just walking hundreds of flights of stairs. So you guys are acting like, yeah, like if I had to just do that in real life, like I go, I go 30 minutes walking flights of stairs at the gym. So yeah, elevator,

not in my top five. Let's hit a break. Thank you for the call, Mike. I appreciate it. Uh, we got a few more on the line, Nicole,

Taylor, Kevin, everybody hang on. When we come back after the break, that was a a great point i mean why it took so long to get to that point but that was a good one 833-85-STOOL if you want to get involved come on back we'll take your calls on cck come on i wouldn't change you if i could i wouldn't change you if i could check out the viva line right now at the Barstool Sports Store. We got all the latest trends for your gear. Tie-dye has been the big hit this year, and so I jumped on board, but I did it my way. You know, I'm a little bit older.

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I don't know if you heard of the other one, the thicky thick girl. Oh, yeah. I need a thick girl, so we do the thick girl. Legend. 833-85-STOOL is the phone number. Let's get to it. We got Nicole from Boston Online. What's up, Nicole?

Hey, can you hear me? Yep. It's good. So I saw on Twitter the Am I the Asshole video about this guy with his toys. And there is no way that anyone besides this guy is safe. Like, how are you? So this Am I the Asshole, it's going to be on KC Radio. I just did it with our new intern, Alyssa.

This guy, 20-something couple. They didn't specify exactly how old. I wish they did because I think that matters. But 20-something,. They didn't specify exactly how old. I wish they did because I think that matters. But 20-something, baby on the way. He has figurines that he plays with. He's not like a collector. He has a whole bunch of them. And at night, she hears him being like,

pew, pew, pew, like talking and crashing and playing with them. And she doesn't like it. She told him to stop. He was like, this is the only thing I like. This doesn't like it. She told him to stop. He was like, this is the only thing I like. This is my hobby. Why?

Like, why do I have to stop? She had her, his father came over and just like ripped them all out, put them in a bag and threw them out and said, like, grow the fuck up. So that's what Nicole was talking about here.

What were you saying, Nicole? So they don't understand like that. This is probably so therapeutic for him. Like, calms him down after a long day. Like, makes him happy. It's his own way. Some people play video games.

Some people work out. Like, this was this guy's, like. It's his thing. It's his little thing. Yeah. Yeah, no. You were smirking. Why were you smirking?

Do you, like, know a guy or something? Casey had a look on her face that was like, yeah, I, like, dumped the guy for the same reason. No, no, no, no. You were smirking. Why were you smirking? Do you like know a guy or something? Casey had a look on her face that was like, yeah, I've like dumped a guy for the same reason. No, no, no, no, no. I had a girlfriend. Now, he wasn't like making like the sounds like I had a girlfriend. I was like he her husband would just like not give up. Like, I don't know. I mean, they were like maybe baseball cards or something like that.

And she just and my whole thing with it is. If it's not hurting you, why do you care? Yeah. So just let him do it. Right. I mean, I definitely think it's kind of straight out of like 40 year old virgin. Now he was collecting them. But, you know, he had that moment where in the in the movies, he breaks down. He's like, I like it.

Like, these are my things and I don't want I don't want to sell them. You're making me do this. Like, fucking stop. And I get that this is a little bit extreme where he's like,'s the thing you save me i'm the bad guy like all that shit it's definitely a little bit quirky but i honestly hurting you or the marriage then just let it happen this all goes into a bigger discussion and i i'm waiting i'm waiting to the right point in my life in my career to like one day write this blog or podcast or fucking book at this point but i think this all goes into a bigger discussion of like what guys what men are like expected to do and

expected to be and if you break that norm or you do something that's considered like not masculine or not adult or whatever that you're like the weirdo and that you're like a child and it's like i don't know i can't think of an equivalent but like if a girl did something particularly girly if she had i have an equivalent that makes sense so it's like maybe not like the the toys thing but how many times you hear wives or girlfriends throwing out guys clothes that they don't like like cargo shorts like i'm not a fan of cargo shorts, but guess what? Do that to a girl. If you went into a girl's closet and said, I don't like the way this dress looks on you

and threw it away. You look frothy when you wear this. Oh my God. You have too many shoes. You have too many bags. Yes. Or you have too many tchotchkes around the house and shit. That's a big double standard.

Girls would be so fucking mad. The way that I would deal with it, and I've had boyfriends when I was in my younger 20s that like i didn't like the way they dressed instead of throwing the things out you just get them new stuff and then they realize how much better they look in it but even that i get it but like if if a guy came home and it was like here's like a tight ass dress and i think you look good in and you should start dressing this way i would like it would be a fiasco for a lot of girls would be a problem. Well,

it would depend. I mean, it would depend on like, like getting a guy like a different pair, like a, like shorts without cargo pockets is different than coming home with like, basically like lingerie and being like, I want you to wear this all the time.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. But if, if a guy was just like, like you're wearing, uh, uh,

leggings and a crop top again, like you should dress this way. You'd be like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. For sure. But that's why you have to play the mind games. That's what you do. If he came home and brought me something that would look good on me, I'd be like, hey, I got you

this. And then I tried it on and I was like, oh, this does look good on me. That's the mind game that you play. For sure. I've had friends who have literally gone in and just thrown out their guy's clothing and I'm like, if they did that to you it would be world war disaster even if like if you came downstairs like all right it's time to go if a guy comes downstairs and he's like a little underdressed or or not if you don't like what he's wearing and maybe not underdressed because like certain certain dress codes you have to meet but if it's just like the

the color that doesn't match or whatever a guy comes downstairs a girl can kind of be like oh you're wearing that and then it's like all right let me go change if you do that to a girl when she like put in effort and tried and put something on and came downstairs and you're just like i don't like that you would be it would be considered like abusive it's another double standard i know but it but it it it's it's more than like a double standard of just like like i really i do really believe it's like a problem with guys where there's been a couple memes floating around recently where it's like – it's like a cartoon and it's like a girl is having stressful anxiety issues and the next frame of the cartoon is her getting help and people like doctors helping her and shit. And then for the guys, it just says like be a man. And it's like we're supposed to be in like the modern world it just says like, be a man. And it's like, we're supposed to be in like the modern world. I think that's changing a lot though. I think it's, we're on,

I mean, I hope, I don't know. I think it's like kind of, but I don't think it really is. I think that maybe I just, I mean, I know for me, like if I, if my guy friends are like talking about like mental health stuff, I'm like here, see a therapist right away. But I mean like the, the idea of like, we're supposed to be a new modern man which means you are like women are your equal they can be the breadwinner you can be at home uh you have to be in touch with your mental and emotional side all that shit but then like if push comes to shove there will be a like you need to man up man up like you need to provide or you need to like stop complaining or whatever. And it's like, again, I don't think I get it. You can really

tell your, your wife or your girlfriend, like fucking sack up and definitely, you know, that's like, again, you're, you're almost like, that would be like mentally abusive. And for guys, it's like the amount of times wherever I've been in, in a situation, uh, thanks for the call, Nicole. I actually just thought of an equivalent with the toys, but go ahead. What is it? Yeah. I was just gonna say that like i've definitely been been hit with like the man up dude like you you know you're you're you're not handling this well like you know be a man about it and it's like i'm fucking i don't i'm trying my best here i don't know like you're trying and i do think like with the mental health stigma too it depends on where you

are in the country because i've like down south it's like i got a man and that's not completely true and obviously like it's 2020 so things have changed i even said on a case of radio i said it shouldn't be the case but worrying about like your mental health is kind of a luxury like if you were if you're fucking money homeless if you are living in like a war-torn area or whatever it's about like survival we don't have time to worry about your anxiety so it is kind of like uh you're lucky enough to get to focus on this but it really shouldn't be it should take priority absolutely at the front of the list but i do understand where it's like you know i could see i i guarantee there were probably people who are going through mental health issues and then the pandemic hit and it was like well sorry you got to stay home

because we might fucking die and i'm sure those people were like, all right, like, I'll figure it out. So I do think that there it's a little bit of a, you know, a bonus, if you will. But it really shouldn't be. No, it should absolutely fucking list. It absolutely should be. Yeah. But my equivalent to the figurines would be like, what if a girl was playing with Barbie dolls every night?

I mean, I do think that would be weird. I do. Yeah, it would be. It would be weird. No, it would be weird. Doll collection. But like it that would be weird. I do think if a girl had a doll collection. But like it would be, or like, so I never was an American girl doll person. My sister was.

If my sister at 28 years old was playing with her American girl dolls all night and she was married and her husband was like, dude, I think this is weird. That's one thing. That's why I think another reason I was smirking too is like with the, am I the asshole question? At first I was like, that's fucking weird. that's why i think another reason i was smirking too is like with the am i the asshole question at first i was like that's fucking weird like why is this guy

doing this but then there's the line of where where she like threw them away and like took away it's like no that's that's where it's weird it's weird there's no denying that but i just think throwing away his things especially i can't really speak for him for girls but from a guy's point of view as you get older and you're not able to like you're not playing in a sports league anymore that's like kind of out the window sure you can do men's league shit but it's it's pretty much out the window you stop going out and partying because you're just older hangovers responsibilities whatever a lot of people play video games but like some people aren't the gamer type it's like my point is that it just gets to a point where it's like i don't have anything else and i feel like girls are better at about like uh maybe hobbies or interests where

it's like i'm girls are worried about like the home they're gonna interior decorate and they want to buy those things and and and they'll and they're into fashion more so they have their clothes and their shoes and their bags and they find other kind of outlets and guys just don't fucking really have that many other than like watching sports and working out that's why golf is such a big thing you get away and i think golf is so interesting to me because i i wasn't a golfer and i'm and i'm almost jealous of people who are because i remember watching all my guy friends who were golfers would be like we're going away for the weekend and the girlfriends would all be like okay it's

time to go golfing and if you if it were like but for me like i didn't have that so if i was just to be like going away for the weekend we're like going to the bar it'd be like uh no you're fucking not like that is so different but girl and spoiler alert girls like that's what they're doing they're going oh yeah i don't know for sure but having fun But if it's not golfing or fishing or some sort of facade, if you just said like, I am leaving for 72 hours to just do whatever I want. Like, no, you are not. I actually recently had this conversation with my friend who lives in California and she and her like serious longtime boyfriend moved to a different part of the OC and he

joined a country club. And she was like, he, he you know he used to golf randomly but she's like he's at the golf course like four times a week and he comes home shit face every time and she's like i don't care that he's going to the golf course but when he goes to the golf course he comes home shit face so it is like a cause and effect because it's like all right fine go golf with your your boys all day but i don't want to deal with wasted every that's like an abusive like you can't come home shit face you gotta like be like she's giving you the slack so don't come home being like a drunk bull in a china shop but at the same it is that's the point but that's the point of golfing i like if i could go back in time and

this is a piece of advice i give to every young guy now take up golf because it is this weird hall pass where girls girls just accept yeah that golf happens and and there's really nothing you can kind of do about it nothing um but it's like i think it's because it's a physical activity like that's you know like i do i think that that's maybe i mean granted i have never first of all i've not played a whole lot of golf grew up on the on a golf course never played a full 18 holes until like a year or so ago. But I've never even thought about the fact that somebody would go out on a golf course and not be drinking. And I know that happens.

I get that. I know there are people that do it for like walk the course, whatever, but that's kind of the whole point is to like play a sport and be leisurely with it and have a good time and drink. So anybody I've ever dated, it's like, Hey,

we're going on a golf trip. Like, yeah, you're just going to get drunk for a couple of days on a golf course. I don't care. That's really all it is, but it's a physical activity. Yeah. Like camping is another, it's like, Oh, we're going to go like bro camp. It's like, okay, well I know what you're going to do. You're going to go set up a tent and then you're just going to drink 45 beers every night. But it's not like, okay, we're going to go on like a bar crawl this weekend. Like see you later. That would never be

allowed for some reason. I do start it now because I do think with golf, it's like like, okay, we're going to go on a bar crawl this weekend. See you later. It would never be allowed. For some reason, no. Why is that? Start it now. Because I do think with golf, it's like, I've been doing this my whole life. I'm getting better. It's a goal of mine. It feels like it's a thing that you're stopping them from doing, where it's like, you can go to the bar or not go to the bar. But if you don't golf, and you started it, and you did it with your dad, and you're trying

to become this handicap, that handicap. But even so, I don't know. I don't know why it is, but you do just get grandfathered in. I don't care if you don't like golf. Start golfing now so that when you are married or whatever, you can be like, I've been doing this for 10, 15 years. I'm not going to stop.

It's a stress reliever. Whatever fucking lie you want to tell. Whatever it is, just go do it. It's like, you know, when PETA does, where do you draw the line on which animals can you eat and like somebody like spray paints like between the cow and the horse yeah like it really is like that with guys weekends it's like all right so if you're telling me you're gonna go like camping okay but you're gonna be like oh i'm gonna go pub crawl in like scottsdale arizona it's like not allowed what

no i would draw that i mean granted like i'm one of those people and i've we've had this conversation before like i'm okay with that because i mean i get to go do my own thing right but but i think you know it's like i love guys we get the exception than the rule where girls are like they want to spend their weekend with their man and their time alone is not valued the same way so it's like no you you can't go do that but Golf is the way to get around it. Jake Paul is in some shit right now. The FBI is raiding his house and they're walking out with major firearms.

Walking out with military gear. I don't know my guns that well, but we're talking big old shotguns and big old automatic weapons and shit. Authorities have seized multiple firearms from the Calabasas home of YouTube star Jake Paul after they served a search warrant. So they had a reason to go in there.

The nature of the case is not prompt, is not yet disclosed. So we'll wait for more details on that. I love Logan Paul. I love Logan Paul. I think he is great. I think he's smart. I think that he is, he's gone through some shit. So he has perspective as much perspective as you can have being like a 24 year old millionaire. Who's basically always been, uh, since his adult life has been like famous, obviously you're not going to get the perspective of, you know, someone who's

like lived on the streets and gone through tough times. But within his world, he's gone through being canceled and coming back. And he's talking about mental health and he's talking about professional success. And he goes deep on it. He had Carl on his podcast. That's all it takes. As long as you got Carl, you're good in my book. I think he he's great. Jake, I don't I have never I haven't really seen Jake Paul come around the same way like his brother has, where I think Jake is still more of like a defiant.

I'm famous. I'm rich, sort of like superstar. And now he's getting ready. I don't know what that that what appeared to be multiple firearms were found scattered throughout the property, include what including what looked like a long gun propped up against the hot tub. Looks like a fucking sniper rifle, which I don't know. These guys are doing vlogs and shit. Maybe they're like,

yo, we look at these fucking guns were firing off. I don't know what the reason is, but I don't ever think anybody needs a fucking artillery. He was in trouble like a week or two ago too. He, he threw a party. He threw a party.

Oh yeah. Viral. Yeah. And he also, he was running through some of the malls during the looting. He said he wasn't looting, but he was just doing it like the footage. But he's always at the center of controversy. And, you know.

And somebody called the FBI on him. Yeah. I guess so. I don't know. Let's go to our boy Taylor in Long Island. What's up, T? What's up, guys? You guys talking about best inventions.

I have three and I'm using them all right now. The Internet, watching Sopranos, medicine. I took a a xerotex i'm blowing up like a fucking tick and then the ac is the best thing in the planet and if i didn't have those three it'd be pretty miserable yeah i mean you could definitely say you know like fucking stumbling upon penicillin like save the world yeah there's obviously a ton of shit like that but as far as the what makes my life easy and enjoyable i mean medicine for some people would be up there. If you have allergies, thanks for the call to really bad pens and all that kind of shit and squeeze in a couple more here. Troy from Chicago. What do you got on our golf loophole? Hey, so, uh, I think

the reason that, uh, personally, at least my girlfriend's okay with me going golfing and stuff like that, as opposed to, yeah, just going out to the bar is the, uh, at least my girlfriend's okay with me going golfing and stuff like that as opposed to, yeah, just going out to the bar is the at least, I guess, illusion, whatever you want to call it, that there's not other women there and he's not going to cheat. That's true. It's something a boy's thing. No doubt. And that

is incredibly important as well. But also... That's definitely in the forefront of people's minds now that I think about it. Yeah's just it's also like you know the it's it's the time spent together element it's like if you picked out something else that was uh guy oriented yeah but all those things i guess that's it because fishing and camping and all that shit usually is with all other guys and if you're gonna go golfing it's like you're gonna play with three other other dudes. You're going to have a foursome. You're not going to have like, you're not going to be at a bar

watching sports where there could be like really hot girls there. That's a really good point. What was his name? Troy from Chicago. I mean, yeah, I guess if it was like, if your boyfriend was like, he doesn't go to a country club and golf, but he goes and he does like Zog sports and he plays kickball.

But you know, it's like a co-ed thing, and they go to the bar afterwards. I bet you girls would have a problem with that. Or they would try to join the team. Especially if you're like, why can't I be on your team with you? Oh, for sure. Then it's like, because I would rather kill myself.

And because you stink at it. Just let it, again, and I'm not married. I don't want to get married, whatever. So maybe it changes when you get married. I just would think that if your dude wants to be happy and he wants to go on a boy's trip now, it'd be different if it was like every single weekend.

He's like, I'm going to go hang out with my boys. So that's what guys do with golfing. I know guys would go golfing every fucking weekend and they're just golfing. But golfing and coming home and stuff is different. Like if he's like, I'm going to like a golf trip every single weekend. I'm like,

all right, no, you're not. But like, let them do things to make them happy because then guess what? Your life is better. Isn't it crazy? I don't understand.

Say that. Don't throw away his figurines as a word of advice. Like let your boyfriend do things that make him happy. As long as it's not endangering. Fucking right. Standard. Like the toys thing. It's like, it's not hurting you. It's not hurting your marriage. It's annoying and it's weird, as it's not endangering fucking standard. Like the toys thing. It's not hurting you.

It's not hurting your marriage. It's annoying and it's weird, but it's fine. If it starts hindering your relationship, alright, it's a bigger conversation. But that's the thing. Girls will convince themselves. This girl was like, well, I need the space for the baby's room and we need more money so you can sell him. No, no, no. You just don't like that he's being weird. That's the problem.

Yeah. You come up with reasons and it's like, you just don't like it. But being weird. That's the problem. You come up with reasons. It is weird. You just don't like it. Don't tell me that it's a threat to our family. If he threw away all of your shoes, you would freak the fuck out. You could get more money for selling it and we could have room for the crib.

I bet you could get a lot more money for shoes than some of those figurines. Some Louboutins. Alright, calm down, cocky. Let's relax. Alright, that's it for us. Barstool Chicago is upines. Get some Louboutins. All right, all right. Calm down, cocky. Let's relax. All right, that's it for us. Barstool Chicago is up next. We'll see you tomorrow.

Maybe we'll get the rocket back in the mix. Until then, stay hot.