KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Clown School (featuring Kirk Minhane)

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Jared and Kayce finally have kits, the Rocket wants to move back to Boston, another Barstool Hit Piece, Kmarko vs Chicago, clown school, Kirk Minhane vs Mariah Carey, Minifans vs the LambilyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Oh. Kevin. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back! Welcome, welcome, welcome... Is this Kevin? Welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing? You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. How long you been back, man? Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.

I see the girls in the club, they're getting wild for me. And all the pretty chicks all want to smile at me. These rap cats, man, they all got the style for me. All right, Jared. I was honestly just going to stay quiet until you started the show. And then I realized that you were going to out-petty me. And nobody was going to be starting the radio show. I was going to win the petty war there. Also, this is the first time that we're using new equipment. So I also, at the petty war there. Also, this is the first time that we're using new equipment. So I also at the same time was like, uh, Casey could be talking right now and I would have no idea.

Okay. So that makes me feel a little bit better. Cause I was like, I don't know if he's just going to do like a Mexican standoff with me and we're just never going to talk. Kevin's going to pop in and. Yeah. You know how like they do the, uh, the, uh, uh, National Anthem standoffs during baseball games? Yes. That's basically what that was, and I won.

It is kind of big news that we're week eight of quarantine. We've been doing radio shows remotely for eight weeks now, and Pete just sent us SiriusXM equipment so we don't have to be calling through our phones like jabronis. Yeah. No, I feel like it was a long time coming. It really was. Well, yeah, it should have happened maybe, I don't know, week two when we realized we were never getting out of this hellhole

because we sounded like complete assholes yelling at each other over our cell phones every day. Yeah. I mean, imagine like Pete thinking that he's like, uh, he's optimistic of, of some sort. Well, you like him thinking that we'd be back in the studio.

Yeah. Like he held out until week eight to send us the equipment because he was really holding out hope that, that the fucking global pandemic was really, it was going to get back underway pretty soon. But here's the thing though, is that now like up until Kevin, by the way, is Kevin okay? So from what I was told when I connected my new equipment, which by the way, it does sound

phenomenally better. Like I can actually hear you. You do. It sounds wonderful. Um, I was told that he's now having trouble connecting his equipment. So I don't know if the two of us now being on these pieces of equipment has fucked Kevin over or not. There's no way. I don't know, Jared. I have no fucking clue.

Like the fact is, is that they could tell me anything about this stuff right now over at the serious headquarters. And I'd be like, sure, that sounds right. Like, I don't know what's going on with Kevin.

Maybe he died. I'm also noticing that like anytime that I open my phone, um, oh, hey, Kevin. Wait, so Kevin is on the show, but he, but. Are you here? Can you hear me? Wait, I can hear you. Okay, I'm back. I've been here the whole time.

I did a whole intro. I was talking, and I was like, boy, they're really letting the intro music just run over my introduction here. Casey was like, okay, so. I was like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah, I find it very funny and serendipitous that you guys finally get your equipment, and all of a sudden my shit goes wrong. And I had power issues. Then I fixed the power issues, like literally in the 2 o'clock on the dot on the dime, I had power issues. Then I fixed the power issues like literally in the like two two o'clock on the dot on the dime. I finally fixed it. And then I started talking and nothing was

working. And then I don't know, they must have flipped some switch down there and I'm back. So I'm here. I'm here. And you guys do sound phenomenal. It's amazing. I like I said, Kevin, I know you could hear us. But the fact that Pete waited until month two of this thing to get us actual equipment to do a Sirius XM radio show, not just a national one. I mean, you can listen to this anywhere in the world. And Pete didn't give a shit until now. But I will say, to give Pete credit, as soon as he did decide that he wanted to get us equipment, it was to us very fast. He took us to a nice little setup, you know, like a 40 minute call.

I'm going to do something here. I'm going to do something here that I'm going to do something here. That's probably going to be frowned upon. You guys are probably going to make fun of me, but I'm going to do it out of self-preservation because I think Pete is doing a fine job. And I think that he is. I think that the things that he's getting blamed for are not necessarily his fault. And I say that because a part of me believes that's true.

And B part of me wants to get crossed off of his kill list because he's going to fucking murder everybody soon. And I don't want to be the one. I want him to cross me off the list, put some lipstick on and go back to watching curling like Steve Buscemi and fucking Billy Madison. Because I don't think I, do you think, do know are we have we confirmed that he was actually holding out on these kits because of like his own doing

well no i that's oh here's the thing i here's here's the thing is that i'm somewhere in the middle of when people start blaming pete because sometimes i'm so ignorant to actually how technology works that i assume that pete would know and that it would be his fault. But most of the time, especially on the college football show, when they start yelling at him about stuff that I know he has no control over, I feel really badly for him. I just know that for the last two months we've been on the phone. And then when we decided that we needed equipment, it got to us extremely fast and we set it up within, you know, 30, 45 minutes. And we sound like we're actually in the studio.

And on top of that, they told us on the zoom call that we could actually sound better doing what we're doing right now than if we were actually in the studio. So I feel like that's something that we would have known. Don't you tell me that Casey Smith. Cause I'm never coming back. I mean, I'm laying, I'm laying i'm never i mean i'm laying i'm laying in bed right now i'm laying in bed and i have a true serious xm setup and i've been told that now that we sound so good we can have a full conversation where we talk over each other like we

do in studio and they can hear all three of us shut up by the way anyway so kevin i was thinking the whole time that we set all this stuff up i I was like, this is my ticket back to Boston. The only thing that was keeping me in New York was the radio show. And now I can just fucking go back to Boston. I can hear you two jamokes, you two fucking stupid idiots, and me sitting on my million-dollar mansion balcony in Boston while you guys pay fucking six grand a month to live in a shoebox. Well, I am totally on board with all that as As long as you just turn down your volume a little bit, because I can just hear your dumb fucking rocket voice screaming at me too loud. I'm down with you can call me a jamoke. You can scream in my face. You could do it all from wherever the

fuck you want. As long as I'm doing it from where I want. I'm telling you, yeah, much better. I'm doing it from where I want. I'm telling you. Is this good? Yeah, much better. I'm telling you, this is going to be, there's going to be a revolt. There was all that talk about the, well, I don't even know if we're allowed to talk about it anymore. But all I know is that the people are going to stay home. People are going to revolt. There's going to be a mutiny. And I'm going to be like, all I need here is this little kit and these headphones. You know what they're going to do? I'm sure they're going to say something like, I bet you they're going to tell us that these kits are like $35,000 a pop.

And it's like, yeah, sure, you can work from home, but you have to purchase your own kit. Otherwise, you better come to work. And then people are going to be like, all right, I guess I'll come. But at this point, I mean, what would you – that's a good question. What would you pay? And I guess you could say, what would you give up in salary, Rocket, to work from home? Don't give actual numbers. If anything at all.

Don't give actual numbers. Dave will do it. Yeah. Maybe don't say exactly what you would do because then the next time we do show up to HQ, Dave's going to be like, oh, okay. Well, here's that part just taken out of your salad as if dave's ever listening to well you know yeah i mean like you know what the answer to that question is who gives a shit if i just go back to boston i can literally just do my job probably a thousand times better now that this kit exists and i can hear you guys

perfectly clear and we can talk over each other. And it's basically the same thing as a real radio show. If I was in Boston, I could be doing section 10 stuff in the home dugout, starting nine stuff in the road dugout. I could convince Dallas to move to Boston. We could do video content all the time. We'd have the studio that Kirk Minahan does the podcasts in. I'd be good to go. Oh, speaking of, Kirk Minahan, I believe, is going to call in. Continue. But I think we are going to have Kirk Minahan in a little bit.

For what? He's out on the Michael Jordan documentary. We were talking about that yesterday, and I wanted to hear it straight from his stupid mouth. So we'll get Kirk on in a little bit. And there's something, too. He's arguing with Mariah Carey fans or something like that. Did I see that correctly on Twitter?

Okay, so Kirk versus Mariah. I'm here for that as well. So I told him, I don't know if you remember it. I'll text it now. I said in a few minutes. I said call in around 2.15 after we kind of settle in with our intro. But, yeah, you'll have the Kirk. Are you comfortable with being like,

it's Jared Karabas live from the Kirk Minahan studios? Because, you know, that's what he's going to make you do. Yeah, I'm not I'm not going to do I mean, Kirk Minahan only has a podcast because I introduced him to podcasting. I invented. Oh, no, no, no. We're back here. This appearance is good. Here it is, Kevin. We got new equipment. And all of a sudden, yeah, he's got his back. He's got all it took was just new equipment. We've been doing we've been doing radio with Jared for eight weeks. We've got the wrong. Yeah. Look at that. That's a lot. Yeah, it's 100 percent true.

I feel like we're doing this. Well, hold on. I have bad news for you. I have bad news for both of you. So I just looked at my phone and apparently we sound way worse today than we have in the past. Well, you guys are loud as fuck, so I don't know about me. That's probably just because we're talking more. But, yeah, I think you guys are. Maybe I should bring the microphone down. People on Twitter are saying we don't sound as good as we think we do.

My levels are, like, when I first started with this kit, I turned the knob, like, one one-hundredth of the way up. So that's where. Is this better? Yeah. Is this better? Lower is better. Keep going, Case. Keep going.

Keep going lower. Is this better? Keep going. Keep going. Yeah, you know what? Joke's on you because I know that if I got all the way down to the bottom. So I asked Pete. I said, okay, if I want to mute my microphone, and I keep saying Pete. I all the way down to the bottom, that's so I asked Pete, I said,

okay, if I want to mute my microphone and I keep saying Pete, I mean, the whole crew was on the zoom. It wasn't all Pete, like the Sirius XM crew too. I said, if I want to mute my microphone, how do I do that? And they said I had to slide the slider all the way down. And I'm so glad I didn't trust that because whenever I did connect, I was like, can you guys still hear me? They're like, yeah, we can hear everything. So Kevin, I then asked, so could you hear everything Kevin was doing for the last 15 days? And they said, well, we wouldn't be listening. We wouldn't be doing that. But if we wanted to, yes, we could have heard everything he did for the last 15 days. I guarantee that those guys have like heard me watching porn or something. Cause I've heard, I've heard like I'll hear,

I'll just be sitting on the couch blogging. And all of a sudden I'll just hear like big cat's voice when the yak is on. And I'm like, well, wait a minute. If I'm always connected like through there and then all of a sudden I'm just live when they decide so, they're hearing me the whole time. So are you saying on this on this little app, they can hear you as long as you hit the hit the microphone connected? He's just been connected the whole time. Do you guys have this big black box? Yeah.

Listen, every time I'm disconnected and try to reconnect, there's a problem. So I just leave it the fuck on. You have something different. Where we have the phone, like it goes through our phone, we would never stay connected the whole time because we use our phone all the time. He just has a box. We have a different setup than him goes through our phone. We would never stay connected the whole time because we use our phone all the time.

He just has a box. Like we have a different setup than him. So his box is just like chilling. Yeah. We're going through our cell phones. Rather than log in and log out every time, connect to this, connect to that, and there's always been issues. I just leave it. But then when all of a sudden it's like, wait a minute, is this, is that guy, he's painting the walls.

He's doing it again. Oh, my God. So, I mean, listen, think about being able to listen to me paint the walls in HD audio. This is this is tremendous. Now that we have this technology. I know it's tremendous. But if people on Twitter say that we don't sound great, then maybe I turn fucking cares. I turn my mic down. So I don't know.

Honestly, who gives a shit about the people on Twitter? Fuck you guys. Casey sounds great in my headphones and you sound great, Kevin. Yeah, it sounds good to me, so if it sounds bad to you, I don't care. I'm here for you guys. I don't even care who's listening right now.

It's just my mom. What's up, Ellen? How you doing? It's almost Mother's Day. You got plans for Mother's Day, Rocket? I think I'm going to go home this weekend. Are you? Yeah, I think I'm going to go home. I think I'm going to duck out.

I got my ways. Okay. Are you going to stick around there or what? Yeah, I think I'm probably going to have to like quarantine in my mom's basement for like two weeks. And then, uh, so you'll get there and you'll just stay separate from them and then pop and live with them. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess so. I mean, I, I, uh, it's not that like being by my, like it's the weekends that fucking suck. I can handle the week. No problem. Like as long as I have tasks, which like I usually have things to do during the day, I have things to do at night. And then on the weekend, I have nothing to do like at all.

So that's when it's kind of like you sit and you stew and then you just it sucks. Yeah. Well, when you're a seasoned veteran of doing nothing, it's, you know, it ain't no thing over here, you know. I don't really care about doing nothing. I do care about where my brain goes when I'm alone. It's not like, oh, man, I'm not having fun. Like, oh, I wish I was hanging out, partying, seeing this person. I don't really care about that.

What I do care about is when I'm sitting around and I'm just left to my own thoughts and I just spiral, like, out of control. I've also been having this thing recently where I've been kind of having nightmares where I think I'm dead. Like, I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm like, what if I'm dead right now? And like, nobody would really know for like a decently long time.

Like I usually like, I'll get a phone call. Well, but in my mind, I'm like, I don't know if I'm alive or dead right now. That's just been going on in my head, which is pretty bleak and pretty dark.

And, and it's, it's been a quarantine thing where I'm like starting to think i'm a dead person you're not dead i'm here so maybe i'm not quarantining maybe i'm not quarantining as well as i thought yeah you you've now convinced yourself that you could just be a dead person and every single day you're living like an upside down world where you're dead and everyone else is alive i'd say quarantine's hitting you a little bit differently than you think that it is. Yeah. I mean, that's like, I, I, I definitely, um, uh, uh, thinking I'm doing well, but I, I, if you're having dead people thoughts, maybe, maybe not so much.

Um, is there any update by the way? And, and guys down in, uh, down in the booth, would you let me know if Kirkman hand calls in? Um, cause he said he said he confirmed 215. Have we heard any like is it May 15th? Is it June 1st? Is there anything for New York? Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you what, like I said this either earlier this week or last week. We're about to see a trend where everyone that's not on one of the coasts is going to start looking pretty again and start looking normal again. And we're not. But so I know in Texas, like the gyms can open up next week. Hair salons can open up tomorrow. So like it's like really happening. And I'm sure all over the South. But I did hear a rumor that California is starting their reopening soon. So it makes sense that we would be last. We were first.

We would be last for the epicenter. But if California is starting to reopen anything, that's a huge light at the end of the tunnel. Cause just like a month ago, they were talking about how they didn't think anything would happen until 2021. Yeah. I,

uh, I, you there rocket. Why is he saying hello? he's just an idiot after all that shit talk how good this is I lost them this will be good

this is beautiful you know what's great too and he's never going to admit this but the fact that he can't hear us doesn't really matter so he can't defend himself it was astounding there he is I'm talking shit about himself it was astounding there he was i'm on talk to i'm talking shit about you it is astounding how slow he was at connecting this machinery while we were all i

wasn't really that like we were the serious people no it's listen i know i talk shit and i was just giving him a hard time i was like jared this is actually amazing how much better i am at the than you at this and the random the random guy who's never met jared ever who's i guess we've been on the road but he was like yeah she's much better than you and i was like let's go it's a rocket roast time we were literally lockstep in progress and then the only time i was i actually facetimed while we were doing it you couldn't figure out. The only time that there was an issue was when they told us to like go to like level six or something. And I was already on six. And there was just there were no issues, Kevin.

All I can say is that if his equipment starts malfunctioning, it's because he doesn't know what he's doing. I like that. Anytime we can make fun of the rocket, you know, I'm down. Sure. We'll be getting uh kirk minahan in a minute but we do have another bar stool hit piece just like to try to defend myself shut up rocket who cares what's happening i think you're good everyone can hear you what are you talking about i i literally and twice in like the last five minutes, I've you guys have been cut out for like 30 or 45 seconds.

You think that they got like a Tony reality mute button down there and they're just like that? You don't get to talk anymore. Yeah. It sounds like a problem to me. I think it's like conspiracy. We've got a another article written by the clown, Robert Silverman, the literal clown, trashing on Barstool. And it's always a good time to me. It's always a blast. What's the headline of this one? Let me find it. So this is written on a pay site, but it was on Reddit, I believe.

Nick sent me a link. Let me pull it up because ain't nobody paying a fucking dollar to to read the clown you know uh come on who's he even working for now i believe it's the daily beast oh that's right that's right that's right that's right it it's come on where do i have so many goddamn uh different group texts and shit like that uh but ro Silverman wrote, here it is. The headline is, I don't know if they had the headline here. Somebody cut and pasted it onto Reddit. I'm going to just go to the Daily Beast. Oh, Barstool, hemorrhaging money.

Editor flips out at writers. Are you fucking kidding me? So this is what's funny. It's all predicated upon. Now, they asked Dave yesterday the comment. They reached out to Dave saying, would Dave Portnoy. Hey, Dave, will you take a pay cut in order to ensure nobody gets fired? And Dave said something like, you're a clown.

You're a literal clown. Because if you don't remember, Robert Silverman is the writer who has written a couple of these hit pieces and he once went to actual clown college to become a clown entertainer. So forever and ever, anytime this guy does anything, it's just like, shut up clown. And we actually truly genuinely mean you are a clown. He I so I thought this article was going to be about Dave and his day trading and how much money he has and whether or not he's generous and running the running the business. Right. But I mean, like we're we're we're you know, we're we're taking a hit like every other company in the world. But we're not firing people. We're not a hit like every other company in the world, but we're not firing people. We're not laying people off.

There really is no need for anybody to take a pay cut right now for the greater good. So I'm pretty sure Dave wrote back like, you're a clown. Goodbye. And so I thought this article was going to be all about that. It's like 99% about the K. Marco versus Chicago beef, which is all, like, complete. I mean, again, these guys always take everything so seriously,

and, like, when I think K. Marco is calling the Chicago guys meatheads and saying we're hemorrhaging money and you're being idiots, I think it's all in the name of, like, exaggerating to try to make them feel dumb. Not not like he like he stumbled upon some like internal, you know, like secret classified emails talking about our financials. You know what I mean? It's like this was all read out loud on a on a on a radio show and then published on the blog basically for content. And now Robert Silverman, the clown, thinks that he has some like angle towards Marshall's financial demise, you know. So like the first 20 paragraphs are all this. If like CNN tried to do like a breaking news story on Rikishi attempting to kill

Stone Cold Steve Austin by running him over with a car. Right. That's exactly what this is like. It's like I'm waiting for them to be like, do you believe this guy? Portnoy, who once had 18 donuts and jerked off 24 times in a day, according to their documents. Like, yeah, it was a blog written about the about a fake challenge on the podcast. You morons, you know, like the amount of you believe they let the undertaker walk the streets after he threw a guy off a fucking hell in a cell i mean like that's attempted murder it is so ridiculous let me let me count uh one two three four five care to comment vince you

employ this guy also like hemorrhaging money i don't know what dave is trading and what he's not i know he's losing money and that's fine but i would say that if we are still i mean as far as i know nobody in content has even had to think about getting laid off because of money i would say hemorrhaging is a tad dramatic that's just me the first 15 paragraphs of this article are really breaking down. Yeah, and some of them are just, you know, like one or two line, like, you know, stanzas, if you will. Is it a fucking essay? They are all about, like, Keith versus the Chicago guys, which is funny because, you know, he's calling them meatheads and the R word and like I slapped you like a little bitch and like all these things

that were, you know, a lot of a lot of ball busting shit talking, which I know was very, you know, they I think I think there's actually some serious beef on that end. And they're big boys and they can handle that on their own. I'm not saying that this was all just jokes, but in terms of an outsider writing an article about it, it is all just jokes. There might be some some internal drama, but not for Robert Silverman, the clown, to be like, ha ha, I gotcha, now we're really going to stick it to you.

You know, you fucking morons, you dumb, dumb assholes. It's like you can't get out of your own fucking way, can you? I'm surprised that there wasn't like uh like a like a fox news article on brandon walker and devlin's fight like i feel like anything that happens now it's just it's news that's great that's the crazy part all about all of this is that our editor-in-chief gets into a fight with the fucking uh the guys over in chicago and it's now considered news right outside of bars right i mean it's actually considered news. Right. Outside of bars. Right.

I mean, we can actually weird that Brandon. And now that you say that, that Brandon and Devlin didn't get some sort of hit piece about how, cause like, that's just such an easy layup. Like, Oh,

the males inside barstool punch each other or hit each other. Well, Dave came down on them hard. Like that Dave. Well, that's probably why it didn't become. Well, yeah, because, well, one, we Like, Dave, there was, like, a zero tolerance for that. Well, yeah, because, well, one, we have HR now. But two, like, Kevin, you've been there for a long, long time.

Like, other than when Nate shoved YP, I don't think anything like that's happened, right? Has there ever been physical altercation? Roan once stuck a pin. I think I dick-s i dick slapped hubs in 2018 i mean you could make the argument that the hose to the face was was the most like violent emasculating thing that's ever happened uh roan roan put a pin on on frankie's chair that was uh that dave did not like that one that was real bad dude he did what roan put a pin on frankie's chair he sat down like a thumbtack and um so that was that was weird um that was bad other than that i haven't seen

i don't think we've ever seen much violence at barstool uh which is kind of surprising like in one way it's not because i know a lot of a lot of people would think of us as like the like meathead frat boys who like, let's fucking fight. Let's wrestle. And we're really not like that. But for a place that really is all like it's very competitive. There's a lot of underlying drama. There's a lot of unspoken rivalries and tension, a lot of spoken rivalries and tension that none of it's ever escalated is is pretty surprising although at the end of the day we're all like internet nerds and we're certainly not tough guys i mean dave will be the first to admit that he's like uh i will make fun

of you with words you will beat me up in real life that's like a given so i think everyone pretty much knows their their uh limits but it is you know, there's never been a punch thrown. There's never been any of that, really. There's never, like, been a drunk, oh, shit, sorry, I went too far with it. I mean, the Chicago versus K-Marco beef is probably, like, the best example of, you know, they all apologize being like, you know, sorry, that went too far. But there was nothing that was, you know, they all apologize being like, you know, sorry that went too far. But there was nothing that was, you know, actually serious

or dangerous or anything along those lines. And yet the clown is still out here like thinking, you know. I mean, that's what he is. He's a clown. He's a literal clown. He's an actual clown. I don't even think that that bothers him. Like, I don't think that he's like gripping his fist

in rage when people are like, dude, an actual clown i don't he's probably just like yeah no i am like i well something that i pursued in my life yeah i guess like wouldn't you want to just get rid of that evidence though like you not if it's something that you were passionate about at one point i would say if he made the decision to want to go, like it's like. He didn't like get forced into clown school. He chose it. The clown life chose him. The clown life chose me, bro. I mean, that fine, you're right.

But then I then I would counter by saying that he is horribly misguided and that he should be embarrassed of that and he should get rid of all of that evidence. I mean – Have you seen the meme going around that's like – that they say that clowns – and I have no idea where this came from. I think Grape Juice Boys put it up, but it was that clowns make on average fifty one thousand dollars a year did you see that no good yeah well so so it was like a headline or you know like a google like search and then like a joke like that's an actual well the the meme is like the like a google fact which could easily have been photoshopped i don't know but somebody respond like tweeted and was like and i've been doing this for fucking free my whole life so like about being a clown but i was when i was looking at i laughed at the meme itself and i was like

wait is that true clowns like if they're professional clowns and they're actually performing or entertaining they make 50 grand a year well i bet you if you're like at like the msg circus or maybe not anymore i don't know i feel like is the circus still a thing like like i remember when i was a kid i went went to Madison Square Garden and I saw, you know, the fucking three ring Barnum and Bailey circus. And it was like a full ass production. Fucking Kirk is fuming. He said he was on hold for 10 minutes. Oh, wow.

I love it. Let's let's hit a break and we'll come back. We'll make fun of the clowns, and we'll get Kirk on the air. I guarantee you, because he was on hold for 10 minutes, he's not going to wait any longer or call back. What's wrong? Also, side note, I just saw an NBC News tweet that says, developing potentially historic May snowstorm is headed for New England

and the Northeast. Shut it down. Shut it the fuck down. We'll read the details on that. That could just mean we're going to get an inch of snow because in May it shouldn't snow at all. Oh, there's more. In addition to snow,

75 million people will wake up to below freezing temperatures on Saturday. For many cities, it will be worse than Christmas Day. Give me that 10 inches. Give me 10 inches, Daddy. Fuck me up. Oh, my God.

What the fuck? Not to be fucking kidding me. Well, let's hit a break. 2020 stinks. We'll come back. We'll talk about Armageddon, and we'll see if we can get Kirky to call back in. CCK, what a day.

Well, well, well, it's been a long time since you got an ad read from Irish John Feidelberg, isn't it? Right? So that's what you're getting today. You're getting a Miller Lite ad read by Irish John, you lucky lads, each and every one of you. I was just doing myself a Zoom call, as you call it, right? I was doing a Zoom call. Brendan Clancy texted me. He's a good Irish folk.

Brendan Clancy texted me. He says, would you love to do an ad read for Miller Lite? I said, that would be my favorite thing in the world. I'm doing a Zoom with my friends, talking about practicing social distancing, but talking about real-life events over a few beers. My favorite thing to do, right? My favorite thing. A couple of Miller Lites, a couple of great tastings, a couple of less feelings,

and telling everybody about how your week was. But when I got the opportunity to come on here and to do an ad read for you for Miller Light, it is just, it's my honor. I'm not even on this goddamn show. I'm not on the show, but I said I must. I must participate in this advertisement. Anyway, you got to get on the Zoom calls. You got to get on your friends.

You got to keep telling stories. That's what's important, right? That's what's the normalcy. It's important to keep telling stories and sharing life events with each other. And the best way to do it is over a Miller Lite. It's the original Lite beer. While you're home, you enjoy a classic.

It's available for delivery today. You can go out. You can get it if you're wearing your mask and your gloves and all that fancy stuff. But you can also get it delivered. You celebrate responsibly with the Miller Brewing Company. It's 96 calories. I just crushed away.

I said nine. It's a perfect accent. It's 96 calories. It's 3.2 carbs, and it's only 12 ounces. Nope, that's not right. It's 96 calories. It's 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. It's not only 12 ounces.

You can get it different sizes. You can get it any size you want, right? Anyway, back to everybody else. I'm going to go back to talk to my friends, drink a middle of the night. I'll give this back to the other people on the show. Enjoy. The best of CCK is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. During this time of change, we want you to know that ZipRecruiter's focus has not changed.

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ZipRecruiter is working with all of us so we can keep moving forward. Let's work together. ZipRecruiter.com slash work together. All right, we're back. Let's see. So we got the May snowstorm is on the way. And it is, you know, supposed to be historic levels for New England and the Northeast. I'm trying to see if there's any, like, i don't see any inches or any predictions here i don't know what what you're reading casey but it's just saying that this is going to be not not cool huh

um yeah i'm not seeing anything either it's just saying that like i mean 45 million people are going to be under freeze watches 75 million people oh no i see it here i see here widespread snowfall totals will range from a dusting to six to eight inches in some spots. So it could go from it could go from a Jared to a KFC, depending on where you live. And so, I mean, it has been cold as fuck. So this is I feel like people are not really complaining about the weather like they usually would just because we are inside. But it is cold.

You pussy. It's been nice, bro. It's May and it was fucking 40 yesterday. Yeah. Yesterday. Then we had a bunch of days in the 70s. Today was two days. Yeah, it's been.

I can tell you this. We've had two days in the 70s. You've not even gone outside. How would you know? It's been cold as shit. Anyway, you know what? Before he throws up, that's a good point but i'm still gonna raise my points like you're staying in your apartment jared how the fuck would you know what it feels like outside

before he throws another tantrum because he's a diva uh let's bring kirk minahan in he waited online uh he went on hold yesterday or a couple days ago and then 10 more minutes today because I am, in fact, his keeper. And when I say jump, he says how high. And now Kirk joins us. How are you, Minahan? You could put a fucking team of scientists together. They could have figured out coronavirus vaccine, the time it took

you to figure out, to find that fucking Silverman article, whatever his name is. It's been bumbling around for like 10 minutes. It's like a Google search, you shithead. No, you dumb fucking asshole. Or go to the site. No, you dickhead. It's a paid site, you fucking moron.

It's a paid site, you dick. I had to go find the person who emailed me all the... Yes, you are wrong, you dumb asshole. You have to pay the site to be able to read it. I am not a subscriber to the Daily Beast. I had to find the person who texted me.

When did they put up a paywall, by the way? I can't believe that anybody pays for the Daily Beast. That's the real story here. That was my first thought. Yeah, I was like, oh, sad. I don't know. I mean, Kirk can't seem to wrap his the fact that you'd have to you can't just go to the site and read it because it's a paid site. But anybody who's paying for the clown, Robert Silverman, has to really they got to readjust like their budgeting at that point. That is I mean, that is a that is a legendary asshole battle between two people. I hate Silverman K. Marco. I don't know which way to go.

Yeah, that's a clash for you. Two rotten human beings. So I don't know. I really don't know which way to go on that. I don't, to be honest with you. So I take it that you have not ever reconciled with Keith. No, we're fine. We get along fine.

He's all right. I had you on originally to talk Last dance, but then all this shit happened. So I guess we could do it all in one one fell swoop here. That whole Chicago and K. Marco thing, I don't actually know all the details only then other than what's like been out there from like the Deke Zucker tweets and whatnot. But the fact that the Daily Beast and Robert Silverman and I'm sure the other blue check brigades think that they have like, you know, how he got you. And it's like these are article. The only reason you know this shit is because we put it out there as a fucking joke for material on our own show. So I don't know. Where do you fall on all this?

No, it's a bad. I mean, the guy's an embarrassment, obviously. But I mean, you know, so I mean, forgetting him, because also it's not going to land. It's not going to resonate. It'll come and go. No, in a second. That's why I get on Dave all the time. With us, he gets so concerned about that stuff. But, you know, I'm a little confused by the fight, too.

I like those Chicago guys. I did that movie show with Jeff Lowe and Brandon. Who's the guy who goes on the walks all the time? Eddie? Yes. Dog walk, Eddie. Yes. So, I like him a lot.

He's a really nice guy. K Marco isn't. So I'm just going to bite. But it sounds like they were talking about something about an advertiser, something negative. And it's like, well, you can't fucking do that either. So I don't know. To me, what I understood it to be was that they were like, hey,

we have like an advertiser who we want to bash like is that okay and keith's response was like are you fucking kidding me you morons and i think he went over the top with it but yeah it is kind of like i think he answered your own question fellas uh so they kind of i think they all put that to bed which is then funny that this guy is going to write this you know i'm sure this,000 word article if you're behind the paywall. But, yeah, I think that when do they stop, Kirk? When do you think these guys ever say, God, I've done this like seven times and it never even puts a fucking dent in them? I'm guilty of this because you do this on my show.

Well, I'll point out a Boston Globe article or column that drives me nuts, and then they get clicks and relevance, and then they go away. Like, could you tell me anything else this fucking Soberman's ever written? Of course not. No, yeah. He gets what we're doing right now is we're giving him what he wants, and I'm going to do it every time because it gets me worked up. And then they'll go away.

It's like, what's your face at Deadspin or Waggon Shoes there or whoever picked – they are completely and wholly irrelevant without Barstool. So every three months, they're like, I mean, this is such a reach. It's just, I mean, it's like you can't even. This one is. I've been seriously before, but I mean, this is just. It's hard. It's insane.

It's Jared Carabas saying that, you know, he invented me. He taught me how to do podcasts. Well, I mean, that's already something that you've admitted to you. I don't think that that's something that you want to walk back after already admitting on the record that I invented you. That would be like me saying I taught you how to swallow a middle reliever's

load. I mean, it's just... First of all, first of all, they're not middle relievers. They are closers, okay? Yeah, they're closers. They get paid closer money. Fucking asshole.

No, the closers, you just flat out fuck. Wow, coming in hot, Kirk. Well, so I think you kind of answered this question, but I am not one who subscribes to the idea of don't give them what they want. Don't give them their clicks. Because at the end of the day, I don't really fucking care if Robert Silverman gets some clicks. It's not like he's living lavish because I respond to his article. I enjoy saying, hey, look at this.

Look how fucking dumb this person is. And I don't think that whether or not we do or do not respond to them really makes that much of a difference. So I'm going to have my fun with it too. But other people seem to think, you know, don't play into their hand. You're giving them what they want. If what they want is me to point out how fucking

stupid they are, then I think so be it. I'm going to do that every time. Well, I think hypocrisy is vital at Call of War. I think it's part of, you know, it's a lot of what I do. And then if you ignore them one time and two times, they're going to feel more emboldened and then they're going to write stuff that's even crazier and dumber and more dangerous. And then if we're not responding to that, people are going to say, well, if they're not responding to it, there must be truth to it. So maybe then they start waving that around to advertisers and start waving it like, you have to, you and you know i mean you guys probably don't know because i don't talk about it you know

i've been attacked by people before no i can no i can't keep it quiet well i tend to keep it quiet yeah you have to if you don't fight that stuff you're good you're going to get absolutely buried so you have to do it i don't care who it is i don't care if it's somebody who has five million followers or five followers you know you have to do it. What's the latest in the Kirk Minahan universe drama? What do you think, like Mariah Carey or something? Yeah, what are you doing? I can't really.

Menace. I can't really. So, you know, I go to bed early. I have my chocolate milk and call it a night. So, you know, when I woke up this morning, there was this battle between the Minna fans and the Mariah Carey fans. And when I woke up to it, I said this morning on the show, it would be like if I slept in on 9-11 and I woke up at 10-30 that morning. I'm sure a very apropos description there that is not in any way exaggerated. But there's so much information and rumors and people saying stuff.

And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? We have a YouTube channel. One of the guys in our show made fun of Mariah Carey, basically. And Mariah Carey's fans, I know crazy fans. These fans are fucking insane. Oh, they're nuts. They are nuts, dude. They're called like Lamb, something Lamb.

So I don't know what the hell they are. They're going after our fault. My listeners are saying they're going to dox them, saying they're going to find their addresses, they're going to burn down their houses. I was like, this is great. I love these people. I'm like, bring them on. I didn't know this until right now.

They're called the Lamily, which is family plus lamb. Family and lamb, right. The Lamily, which makes, you know, all the other ones make sense. The Beehive and the Swifties. The Lamily is like, what the f... Mariah Carey is... I actually... I might be afraid of Mariah Carey.

She's that fucking crazy. I am. She's got the crazy eyes. Yeah, big time. Big time. When I woke up this morning, I looked out like a general out in the field. Like I said,

I just saw dead minifans all over the place. Their heads and fucking body parts. I mean, the minifans have gotten lazy. And I mean, the lambs, whatever the hell, the lamblies, it was like the movie, if you've ever seen the movie Glory at the end, everyone's dead. It doesn't even matter.

And Mariah Carey in her heels is, you know, laughing at us and singing fucking Vision of Love. It was not a competitive effort. Are you waving the white flag? Has the minute fans met their match? Is it the lambly? I think, I will say this, and I tried to give a speech on this morning. The war is not over, but we are severely undermanned right now.

Who knew? Mariah Carey. Who's her rival? Can I bring in Britney Spears people? Nick Cannon. You need Nick Cannon. Her baby daddy. Nick Cannon. Eminem. He's a bigger clown all right eminem that's right jeter is jeter still no that doesn't matter i think eminem might

be your your bet because eminem i think also has a decent uh uh army of fans who are all like he has a diss track about mariah it's very good yeah but also his fans are like uh you know like school shooters like crazy white boys yeah i don't think you know that's great at that level but yeah well i'm just saying that they're they're about the if you're looking for a a a large group of disgruntled white men it's either the minifans or m&ms fans so maybe you guys need to join up and just create a super although we just i was just informed as we're speaking, Steve Robinson texted me and said,

we have converted one of the major Mariah Carey fans has sworn her allegiance to the men of fans, which is a big turn. Who is that going to lead to me? I can't, I can't give away that information. I will just, I will say that she, she is somebody, she's a, she's a piece that we needed to win a certain battle. So I feel like now a little revitalized. I feel like we might actually win this. Kirk.

I am on a, can someone explain why the fucking lambly? Yes. Yes, I can. So listen, I am on a, a Mariah Carey wiki page that explains this whole dynamic.

And, uh, apparently she tried, they tried to be called the butterflies, but it just didn't work. And then Mariah said, she started to, she called her close friends and families and loved ones lambs. And so the fans jumped on lambs and that the haters, so I.E. Kirk Minahan and his crew would be quieter, would be called goats.

You guys are the goats because she's the lamb. And so we are we are are deep in the weeds here. And just in case you want to drag this one out until next year, February 11th is the official lamb appreciation day. So maybe mark that on your calendar, Steve Robinson, and you guys can go to war, maybe stir this one back up a year from now in February. I think full circle, I think Mariah Carey was decked out in some Jordan jersey in his last All-Star game.

Remember she sang to him while he was on a rocking chair? Is that right? Well, I do definitely have an image of her in a Jordan Wizards gown. Wizards, yes. I remember that. Yeah, so that ties in nicely to the last dance, which I was texting with you yesterday. You didn't like this from Jump Street, huh? Because I made the grave mistake of tweeting about Large,

how he said he was out on the last dance. And I was like, oh, wow, this is the first person at Barstool who doesn't like this. And watch out. Kirk Minahan said this weeks ago, and you're the only person who's allowed to declare whether he likes something or not. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

No, the Minifans did. The Minifans came to my defense. But, yeah, you've been out since day one, apparently. Well, here's the thing. I just think it's okay, I like the old footage I almost know everything because I grew up with it I read the books, I've seen the documentaries my thing is, I think there's a certain Twitter universe

that was going to say they loved it absolutely no matter what no matter what, 100% this is the greatest if Michael Jordan worked at Walmart and he told those jokes to his manager who's five feet tall, you'd be like, this guy's a fucking annoying asshole. Yes, that's true. But Jerry Krause is a dick, and I think that people agree with him.

I also think Jerry Krause is getting the shit stick on this thing. Big time. Do you think Jerry Reinsdorf just let Jerry Krause on his own say, oh, we're going to get rid of Scottie Pippen, Phil Jackson, and Michael Jordan? No fucking way. Right. But he's easy to target, though, just because of the way he walked around. And he's dead.

Yeah, well, yeah, and he's dead, so he can't defend himself. But he also did a great job. You know, awesome. Obviously, he didn't draft Jordan. That was Thorne. But he did a great job putting that team together awesome. Obviously, he didn't draft Jordan. That was Thorne. But he did a great job putting that team together. He drafted him. He hired Jackson.

He traded Oakland for college. It's a great move. He brought in guys like... But wait a minute. Hang on now. Hang on now. Isn't this all... I mean, this is the type of debate that we've been having for weeks now because of the documentary.

Right. I mean, I'm... Yeah, I mean, I'm not... But I think that's fine. But my thing is, like, for me, I know a lot of it. And it's also there. I mean, the thing might as well just be called Jordan. I'm not getting, I'm getting almost nothing about the 98 bowls, a trip to France, which nobody gives a shit about. Like, you know, I, my thing is,

it's a Jordan it's almost for the Jordan brand, but you know, it's Jordan approved Jordan help produce it. But again, I think I saw, I saw Trista Crick and some other Barstow people like, who cares? Ken Burns said something who cares? Well, if it. But again, I saw Trista Crick and some other Barstow people like, who cares? Ken Burns said something. Who cares? Well, if it's a documentary, it does kind of matter.

You know you're not going to get the whole truth. When you watch every night thinking, am I going to get the whole truth? You know the answer is no because Jordan approved it. It's fine. It's fine. It's good entertainment. It's needed right now. I just think it's overpraised, and there were people who arrived at the conclusion before they even started watching it.

Yeah, now that I totally agree with that. I'm much more on the same page than I than I thought, based on what I initially heard. I think that just this past week, we mentioned it on this show on Monday, like this was the first week where I was like, OK, this is officially everything through the Michael Jordan lens, everything Michael approved. And you're not going to get any of the conspiracy talk. Although, I mean, I guess apparently the producer did say like those all the questions about gambling and the retirement and all that were asked and answered. Now, what that actually means and how that's going to be played out, like we'll see. But I think that by by episode five and six was when i officially said okay we're not going to get anything other than what mj explicitly wanted but even even with that caveat i think that michael jordan who is uh arguably one of the most like important people

who's ever lived as far as sports and entertainment and icons he's pretty quiet you don't hear much from you certainly haven't heard much in the last couple of decades. And so anything that's giving me quotes and jokes and a couple anecdotes is, is worth watching to me. Like, are you not going to watch on Sundays? Absolutely. I've watched all, I've watched all six. Oh, okay. All right. So you're, you're, yeah. Did you guys see the latest, the latest headline? And again, I know, I'm sure it could be just to get people

kind of to to be interested again but nbc sports chicago put out something yesterday that said that the director of the last dance is quote shocked that michael jordan approved episodes seven and eight and like the whole article is basically saying that there were multiple things that they thought he would cut from it and that he didn't and that there's like a quote darker side that we're going to see on sunday now that could be just a clickbait thing to try to get people that are off to you know off board to get back on board but at the same time I mean that's well you know I mean and that's that I hope that would be incredible because I think that if if somebody if I was a documentarian right now I would be scrambling to go make the real like the untold story because we

are not getting the other side of you know gambling gambling and women and even some of the rivalries. Like, they were like, you know, Isaiah is going to be, like, you know, really hated in this one. It was like, all right, he didn't shake people's hands. Like, that was really it. Like, I want to get into some of that. I think, yeah, I agree. I think Isaiah got totally fucking porked in the dream team. And, like, Jordan looks like a baby.

Big time. You didn't shake your fucking hand. Big time. And I admire the fact he still hates him, God knows. But I'm just like, what is the value in this? I hope you're right. Look, if seven and eight are great and dark and twisted, then I'll say great. I hope to be wrong.

What did you think? Did you guys comment at all on the Bill Simmons, Ryan Russillo podcast saying how Rodman is not an interesting character? Yeah, I don't. I'm not sure. Sorry, we played the sound a bit different than it looked. Here's the thing. The Rodman persona is way more interesting than Dennis Rodman, the person. And I also think, look, we're in a world now where if somebody does something wrong,

everybody jumps on everybody. Rodman's got a long history beating up women, harassing women. He's not a good person. And they sort of like, oh, he's crazy and wacky. He was. And look, the persona around Rodman was interesting. I think I didn't totally disagree with that comment, to be honest with you. I didn't have a big deal with it.

I think that I didn't listen to the sound. So I was just responding to something I don't even really know what they said. I separate all – if you're going to do the, like, yeah, he's a bad person, I mean, you could do that for a lot of – like, almost every athlete. And so we can just throw all those conversations out then. But putting that aside, I think saying that Dennis Rodman's not interesting is crazy. And maybe if you want to clarify that he himself is not giving great soundbites or interviews, fine. But in

a world where every athlete is fucking carbon copy and cookie cutter, I thought it was nuts to single out Dennis Rodman as the guy to be like, yeah, he's not interesting? What? I mean, I could tell you more shit about him. One or two stories about Dennis Rodman as the guy to be like, yeah, he's not interesting? What? I mean, I could tell you more shit about him that one or two stories about Dennis Rodman is more interesting than every other athlete out there.

Why single him out? That's true, especially if you put him in the middle of that team with Jordan and Pippen and those guys. I find that, yeah. But again, it's sort of the way everything's slanted in that documentary. Like, you know, I know Pippen was underpaid, but again, like, did Jerry Krause walk in with a shotgun?

Yeah, he signed the contract. I'm like, why is Krause a bad guy here? Like, he signed a guy to a deal when he wanted to sign it. So, I mean, stuff like that. But those are little things. I mean, look, you know, it's giving people 10 hours to fucking do something. What else are you watching, Kirk? I am in a friggin' slump like you wouldn't believe.

I got nothing. It's not the worst. I like how you describe it as a slump because that's so true. There are nights where, like, I go to the TV and I scroll through Netflix. I try this. I try that. I look up. It's, like, 12 a.m.

I got to go to sleep. And I'm like, I wasted the whole fucking night. I got nothing. It really feels like you performed bad in a game because there's just uh i mean right now uh rocket what are we watching too hot to handle you should try that kirk you should try your hand at some some awful reality show that's gonna be it doesn't sound like my milieu oh it would be so good though i really genuinely think kirk watching some trash uh sex reality show would some great, great material out of it. I think that that's sure.

But this is the one where you threw an episode. I do it. You should force yourself not for the name of entertainment, but for the name of content. It's people all on an island. If they're not, they're all hot people who thought they were going to show up for to fuck each other and just be on camera and party. And the rule is every time you touch, kiss or fuck, you lose money and that there's a prize pool. You can walk away with money in the end. But every time someone breaks the rules, they lose cash. And it is just the most vain, vapid, idiotic people. And all they care about is money and or sex.

And I think the commentary that would come out of it from Kirk, what is it? Kirk Seamus Minahan. Is that your middle name? Seamus? Yeah. Kirk Seamus Minahan would be some all time stuff. I think that you need a Minifans reality show spinoff or something,

because you would be great at it. Well, they're going to do a Minifans. I know they're doing the Minifans World Series, some kind of Minifans Bachelorette, where some lady Min minifans being wooed by minifans on our YouTube channel. I know that. Oh, boy. Wait.

Now, when you say that, though, that's your rogue – like, not you, right? That's your fans' channel? No, no. Yes, yes. Okay. I mean, Casey, if you're interested, I mean, there are some real – Here's a question. We only got a couple of minutes.

But Casey, if that were to be the case, if we were to make you a bachelorette, which fan base of Barstool podcasts would you want to be the suitors? Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good question the section 10 army the minifan slash min cells the kfc radio guys the award-winning um award-winning listeners the the team portnoy stoolies brick by brick children if you want to be wooed by the younger generation well no they also the brick by brick people also don't like anybody but dave so that would be tough uh you know what i'm not gonna just say this just because he's on the radio show right now but i I think I would go with Kirk's fan base because they're all so. Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you going to let me fucking explain it or not?

Because they're so crazy. They're so crazy and so passionate that they will do anything to win. So even if they don't like me, they're going to pretend to like me because they are so crazy about being the best at what they do. They worship. They're going to worship anybody. I hope that you did not. Sounds like to me. Sounds like we got a being the best at what they do. They worship if they're going to worship anybody. I hope that you did not.

You know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like we've got a show. I think we're done. I was going to say, I hope that they don't take that seriously because you are going to be in a world of hurt. But they would take it seriously. You guys are giving me shit. We appreciate the call.

Thank you, Kirk. Casey, may God have mercy on your soul. See you guys tomorrow. Stay hot. Right.