KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Drugs, Tongue Rings, and Opening Day

Episode Date: April 1, 2019

Who knew Kayce had a tongue ring? KBnoswag's coke/no-coke controversy (2:42) has KFC, Carrabis and Kayce discussing drug use and other regretful life decisions(14:43). Zah tells us what its like to have sex with a woman when she is MUCH taller than you (36:35), Kate explains what it's like to break your nose for a slice of pizza (42:50), KFC seems to actually enjoy baseball as Robbie Cano crushes a homer for the Mets (58:05) and Jared and KFC both REALLY don't like Luke Voit's haircut (1:30:21)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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I'll tell you who's feeling good right now. Who's that? It's your boy KB out there in Vegas who's just... He's a little numb out there. Yeah, I bet that nose is feeling numb. So, I feel bad for KB. He's caught in the tornado right now. He's caught in the cycle.

If you were listening, you'll hear this segment, I guess. Actually, should we just do that segment and then we'll talk about it? Probably. Yeah, let's... Because the conspiracy theories have changed a little bit. So, news broke while KB No Swag was out in Vegas that he was kicked out of his hotel because a white residue, a white substance was found in his hotel room. KB White Gums. KB No Swag. And we were skeptical at first.

We put our tinfoil hats on, and we had some conspiracy theories. You're not going to be sitting at home watching Breaking Bad, because guess what? There's no dudes on Breaking Bad. But does it erase the past? Or is it just a continuation from this point forward? No, it's over. All men have been wiped out.

What up, baby? Have we discussed KB yet? No. Oh, it's so funny. It can't be real. What? No what no oh kb's been kicked out of dp42 wait oh for mimicking him or what no no no not by dave by the hotel okay all right fill everybody in here so dave just tweeted a four minute video of gaz going up to him he's like like hung over on the couch. Gaz comes into the room

and KB got kicked out. The hotel evicted him. Gaz says in the video that the hotel told KB that they found a white residue on one of the counters. This can't be real. You don't get kicked out of Vegas

for some coke residue. I think it's got to be a KB move. KB's got to be KB-ing. But Gaz said he went to the front desk. The manager came out and was like, yeah, we were going to kick you out. But the kid we kicked out said that. KB was deathly afraid of being on camera leading up to this. He said he's not comfortable doing it.

Now he's with Dave. He's the center of attention. But when he showed up and he was doing the mimicking Dave thing, he was wearing the exact same clothes as Dave. He was sitting on the couch the same way. He was watching the game, mimicking all of Dave's movements. That, to me, signaled that KB was going all in on some video shit. So I would not be surprised if, A, this is KB doing it,

and, B, he went as far as to go to the hotel and say, hey, we're here filming this thing for the movie, like pretend, like say that I got kicked out. He said he was all packed up. He was outside the hotel. He's trying to go to Aria or something like that to get a room now. The video, I'm not even listening to the sound, obviously, but the video looks like it's a real thing oh i mean as far as they're concerned it's

real right that's what i'm saying right i don't think that it's actually real but gas smart move by kb just to muddy the waters anyway like just for kb's whole life just the water you never know is he fucking serious what is he he's like uh it's like andy kaufman where it's like it's a joke it's not a joke it's all an act it's not a joke. It's all an act. It's all a ruse. Who knows? Even in the video, Dave is like I was with him last night. We got home like 1.30.

I guess KB says that some people came over and he's like they might have left some stuff. But I mean I haven't been to Vegas a lot. I've been to a lot of hotels. I've been to a lot of hotel parties. I've never heard of someone being evicted for some drugs in a hotel. If people got kicked out of a Vegas hotel for cocaine, there would be nobody in Vegas hotels. There'd be nobody in Vegas at all.

Period. It would just go back. Like Detroit going back to the earth where it's just like trees growing up. Like Vegas would just become a desert again. They're like, hey, by the way, we don't allow cocaine here. I'd be like, okay, I'll go to Miami now. Yeah, see you later. That's the whole point.

It just can't be real. Can't be real. The video of KB watching the game with Dave where they're both leaning forward on their elbows on their knees. I actually like the other one better. What, the one where he first shows up in the Jaws shirt? No. Are you talking about toothbrushes?

It's him and Tommy just talking. Oh, just talking about the toothbrush? He's like, feel his vibration, man. Dave's like rolling around on the couch being like, 40 grand I got in this game. He's like, dude, check this out. Quip.com, Cromoco KFC. He is a weird cat, man.

He's an enigma. He's just a guy who, even when he was drafting his Bud Light Busters team, and he came up and he was like, if I pick a playing game, do I get both teams? And Dave was like, yeah, okay. And he was like, okay, Oregon. And it just had nothing to do with the playing teams? And Dave was like, yeah, okay. And he was like, okay, Oregon. And it just had nothing to do with the playing games.

And Dave was like, wait, what? And just, he just, like, especially with someone like Dave. Like, it really, it's like oil and water, those two. Like, the weird little, like, clever shit does not compute with Dave. How did he know, like, looking at the, just the matching outfits? Like, how did. I mean, well, Dave wears that all the well Dave wears that Well right but I'm saying Just happened to have a jaw shirt

He had to have known Well the jaw shirt he probably went out and got I think that was actually probably a little bit of serendipity That he wore his jaw shirt On the trip And then he decided to go all in with it But I mean the jeans are perfect The tight light like light jeans

are incredible. But also, like what kind of, so if that, that got put out last night, right? I imagine your first

night in Vegas, you know, long flight, you need a little pick me up. And you, like, like the,

it can't be real because fucking, they would knock on the door, right? Like they weren't there until like, if they're coming in the morning, they'd knock on the door. Well, if they got home at 1.30. Right.

Cleaning crew wouldn't just come in at 9 a.m. Yeah. Unless he left the room. But yeah, you also might just leave and then you left something out. You didn't realize it was out. Because if you got home at 1.30, then you might be wide awake. It doesn't matter. Right.

There could be a mountain of cocaine there. You're not getting kicked out. Right. This is just, this is, this is brilliant chaos from KD No Sweat. A fucking good cleaning person is just going to be like, just leave it right there. And then you know you leave a monster tip after. Thank you.

A good cleaning person does it or takes it. A great cleaning person leaves it as is. What if it's like a brand new cleaning person though? What if it's just somebody that's on on their like first day at the job? They actually might have a policy. Yeah. And usually the whole policy is like just don't say anything. But if some rookie said something, maybe they.

But no. No, I completely agree with you. It'd be ridiculous. It'd be ridiculous anywhere, let alone Vegas. But what if it was like just somebody's like first day and they're like, oh, well, we found coke in the hotel room? If anybody knows. What a snitch. You'd probably get fired for that.

You should. You told us about coke? Yeah, you're fired. Yeah, right. You're not cut out for this business. Right. If you're snitching on cocaine, you said, oh. What's next?

You're going to let us know if there's hookers up there, too? This is lost goddamn Vegas. Unless the whole scene looked like the hangover. Yeah, maybe KB just ripped the place up. I mean, KB is the most mild-mannered guy I've ever met in my life. That we know of. Yeah. That we know of, though.

Maybe he just... It's kind of like Jet Ski. Like, Jet Ski's a crazy person outside of this place. He doesn't say two words, I know. I heard wild about Jet Ski. You what? Heard something wild about Jet Ski the other day. What'd you hear?

He's just trying to... he's arguing with the people at 7-Eleven trying to return his headphones. I was like, what are you talking about? I don't fucking know. That's all, that's a sentence I heard. Like, what do you mean Jetski was arguing with the people at 7-Eleven? If you buy

some shitty headphones for 7-Eleven, that's it, dawg. That's on you. It's over, man. That's yours for life. There is no return policy on that one. That's that Seinfeld fruit. Like, fruits of risk. That's it. 7-Eleven. That's it, dawg. That's on you. It's over, man. That's yours for life. There is no return policy on that one. That's that Seinfeld fruit. Fruit's a risk. That's it. 7-Eleven headphones are over. 100%. Wow. Okay. Has KB said anything yet? I don't think so.

I texted him and asked him to come on radio. He ain't gonna do it because this is part of his ruse. He can't come on here and now keep up an entire radio segment as well. He's gonna have to answer all these questions. He knows his story's going to come unraveled. You know what he really wanted to do? He probably just wanted to go

to a different hotel. He probably said, I don't want to be around Dave anymore. So I'm just going to go to the other hotel. He had his own room. They're in a suite. He was in his own room. Not his own room in the suite. He had his own room in the hotel. He probably just said, I don't want to go to the Wet Republic. I don't want to do any of these things. What's the play here?

What's the angle here to make this up? Because that's what he's doing. I mean, people are talking about it. Yeah. We're talking about it. It's a conspiracy theory. Yeah, but why would he, I guess, if he just wants to make the content, but if he was getting, I don't know,

like he's not on camera or anything doing it right now. Gaz just texted me and said it is 100% real. He's got a picture of KB leaving the hotel. No, see, I think, I believe that Gaz believes it's real. I think it's a KB ruse. KB's factoring anybody else. No, yeah. I think Gaz is being told.

Such a big bag, too. So you think that KB has told nobody? Oh, absolutely. So he's just trying to ghost. Oh, KB I think Gaz is being told. Such a big bag, too. So you think that KB has told nobody? Yes. Oh, absolutely. So he's just trying to ghost. Oh, KB is a lone wolf. He is an absolute. He's gone rogue.

He's rogue when he's here. He comes in. He comes and he goes in the silence of the night. Like, he is. He's on an island. He's in his Twitter world. He's writing the blog. He operates.

He's Jason Bourne. I didn't realize that he was one of the people that came in for the intern interviews. Yeah, I didn't know that either until that video with Dave where he said KBNO swag. Yeah. You see Frankie just kind of chuckled himself like Dave's such an idiot. And KB had to be like, well, it's KB

no swag, not KBNO. That was not the past one, but the one before? Well, Frankie was interviewing, so it was after Frankie did it. So Frankie was class of 16. So it was probably 17. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that either. Because he ended up just getting hired after the fact, not through the interns.

Because he is very quiet and like mild mannered. Like he got hired for his blogging. Not. I'm sure when he showed up for the interview and Dave was asking all these dumb questions, he was just kind of a normal ass guy. Dave was like, no. But. But I also think that he he won this.

He knew it was coming. He had time to prepare. He came up with this idea of mimicking Dave. He's got some other tricks up his sleeve. If that was me, if that was literally me, or if I was a younger guy or whatever in his position, I would just go and just be fucking normal, and that's it. He is seizing the fucking day. So I asked Gaz.

I said, KB didn't stage this. He said that Gaz literally thought all along that it was, but then he went to the front desk, and they canceled the room. I think KB. KB is just like this. He said that Gaz literally thought all along that it was, but then he went to the front desk and they canceled the room. I think KB. KB is just like puppeteering. The front desk told Gaz, by the way, we're big fans. So they're stoolies, the front desk. So they would be inclined to participate in a joke.

I definitely think. This is crazy. That it just goes deeper. It goes way deeper than Gaz. I'm sure it does. All gas needed was front desk participation to be hook, line, and sinker. If that was me and the hotel said that, I'd be like, all right, well, sure. But you've got to think next level.

Damn. KB's awesome. KB's great. Just this is great. Yes. Fantastic. Whatever the end game is here, it's awesome. Also, if it's real, I didn't know KB had it in him.

He's still awesome. What if it is 100% real? What if he just shows up and is like, no, I actually left. I came home. Imagine if KB just like, yeah, just blasted off, man. Just broke off a couple of rails. I don't know. Sue me.

What do you think? Sue me. It's Vegas. I was going to blow some coke and go watch wrestling. I don't know. That's what I do. I'm KB. If he comes back, I don't think that that confirms that it's –

No, no. If he stays in Vegas and goes and gets another room and continues to do content and stuff all weekend, then I think we can all be like, yeah. Because I think if he's going out to just get another hotel – I also don't know. Why does he need another hotel? Why does he need to get a room in –

I imagine the suite has more than three beds stay with Dave you mean it's a house that might be a little presumptuous of him to be like I'll just stay with you Dave I think everyone else is in a suite yeah Daniela said that they're all in one

they're all in like the penthouse and then KB had his own room why is that because I think that there was just probably enough in like the penthouse and then kb had his own room why is that because i think that there was just probably enough for like the core crew and that seems like maybe a kb but i think it was like because there was only one other person that was gonna go like only one person got through bud light busters so that was the setup last year i went last year and that was a setup uh the people the core people that go live in that suite, and the Bud Light Busters people get individual rooms. So Hank, myself, and Clem had our own rooms,

while Dave and Louis, Gaz, and... Okay, KB said he'll call in, so we're going to take a break right now. Oh, hell yes. Where's our fucking wine? And when we come back from break, we'll be talking to KB No Swag about getting kicked out of the Vegas hotel

for a white residue. Okay, so I was convinced that there was something afoot because KB is quite the, you know, quiet, crafty, shifty, mischievous type. Uh, turns out, I think this guy was just partying a little too hard and got caught. Now he's a little scared.

Let us note that as of this recording, we don't know what the actual, yes, we don't Friday afternoon. Right. So maybe by, I'm sure by Monday, while you're listening to this, we have a little bit more,

uh, of the story, but I don't, I feel like this is not resolved while you're listening to this, we have a little bit more of the story. Or maybe we don't. I feel like this is not resolved until they come back. And even then, it could be one of those things where you just never fucking know. No, I think, honestly, we know, unless he is such a con artist that this entire thing is a ruse,

which I don't think that it is anymore. Because listening to his voice... Listening to the way he's talking and the way he was like... I think we know what happened. When he was talking to Dave and he just said, we're not going to make this public, are we? And Dave was like, oh, buddy. I think there's already three blogs on the side about it. Yeah.

And then the icing on the cake. Gay Pat finding the picture of his Halloween costume. Did you see it, Jared? I'm sorry, what? Okay. Wait, don't say anything. Okay. Because I want to see Jared's reaction. I won't say what it is, but I will say Pat comes over to me and is like, I just got an

epic DM about KB No Swag. And I was like, what could it possibly be at this point? You know how they say there's a tweet for everything with Donald Trump? Well, going back to 2016, this is what KB was for Halloween. Oh, come on. Just a bag of cocaine. It literally says cocaine across his chest. It says my girlfriend forced me to dress up as a giant bag of cocaine so that we could be Jack and Coke for Halloween.

And it is him with a garbage bag, a giant Ziploc bag around his neck filled with cotton balls. And it just has a piece of tape on it that says cocaine. Yes. So Dave was on Periscope saying, I just want to confirm here. KB wants it out there. Not a coke guy. It was not him. He doesn't do coke.

KB, no coke. KB, no swag coke. No cocaine for KB. And then there's this picture of him as a giant bag of cocaine. I mean, it's kind of tough to walk that one back. But at this point, don't you think you just have to lean into it? Yeah. I mean, why not?

You work for Barstool. But see, his whole thing was like his family. Did you listen to the video where he was like on the phone with Dave? No. Like he keeps saying, he's like, you know, I just, my family, like my parents are going to be mad. And Dave's like, well, you work somewhere where no one gives a fuck. And he's like, yeah, but like my family, my family.

I have no idea. I don't even know his name. I don't even know his real name is he like fresh out of college because i mean i get it like my parents are now broken for a multitude of reasons my parents you know anything short of like murder i even even if my brother called tomorrow i was like mom dad kev murdered somebody i think they'd be like all right well let, let's keep it moving here. We'll try to figure this one out, too. We got another one. So at this point, and I got it to the list, at this point.

Not true. Do not murder anyone. But true that mom would be like, all right, we'll figure this out, right? She is one ride or die bitch, my mom. Oh, yeah. She hasn't flinched the past 18 months. It's wild. Good for her.

I remember being like, I got to tell you some things, Ma. Like, you're not gonna be happy. Then I kind of explained the full story and she was like, all right, well, now we go. Here we go. Now we go.

But I get if you're new to Barstool or, you know, depending on your family dynamic, like being the Coke guy at any place is not exactly ideal. It would be a tough phone call for me to make. Your parents would not be happy. No, my parents like, and they've gotten used to the content now at barstool to a certain degree

like some of them hate me and you probably jared now with me way more yeah yeah but they don't because they don't listen to this show well not i mean i was told i have an inside source that we're not doing this again that uh her parents actually love me we're not well they just don't know you so they can't love you let them let them hear your thoughts on holiday and then things no yeah we cannot ever let that happen or they'll be like uh that guy he stinks although my first video i showed my parents of kevin was the goddamn jets video that was the first thing they ever saw of you which one the the rec room one that wasn't too bad they thought it was hilarious but i will say that if i called

them and said hey mom dad the entire internet world thinks that i got kicked out of a hotel room because i was doing coke at dave fortnoy's birthday party it'd probably be a problem yeah they'd probably i mean i'm 30 years old right the fuck they'd be like casey what are you doing like they're not what they can't do on you but they can't do anything to me i'm 30 but i don't think like in my specific situation, I've been a bar stool for five years. My parents probably wouldn't... They would care if I was doing coke,

but they would believe me if I told them that I wasn't doing it. I've never done coke in my life. Yeah, me neither. Not once. No, I don't want to... I don't like the nose factor. Yep, me neither.

And I don't want... If I'm doing anything, I want to mellow out. I don't uh want i don't i don't if i'm doing anything i want to be like i want to mellow out i don't want to be like revved up len bias all takes his one time i also don't want to die yeah yeah but uh this is an interesting spot to be if you're kb because like we said the way to really handle this is to lean into it or laugh it off by being like yo i don't want this out there, you almost like... It almost makes you look guilty. Yeah, you look like a coke.

But here's the thing, though, with somebody like him, where his whole personality and the reason he was hired is because he's a Twitter guy. It's not his face that's out there. It's not his voice. It was his first foray into video, and it's not good. And here it is, right. It's just a coke guy.

Let me ask you this. I mean, he was like, yeah, no, I had a bunch of people over at my place. Like, what? What, did he meet a bunch of people in Vegas? Yeah, who the fuck do you know in Vegas? Like, unless you just happen to have friends out there, but like- Where is he based off? It wasn't-

Where does he live? Yeah, like, where is he from? Where did he come from? I don't know anything about him. Ohio? He went to Kent State, I think. He went to school, I think, with a gun girl, I think. Okay.

He's a wrestler. We know that. He is a Twitter- No, that's what I'm saying. The only, I think. Okay. He's a wrestler. He is a Twitter. No, that's what I'm saying. I've, the only things I know about him is he's a wrestler. Yeah. He's very quiet and calculated in the office and he runs a Twitter account that he doesn't act like in real life.

Okay. So, I mean, well, enough about KB cause it seems like he's all bent out of shape anyway. This is the drug episode of CCK. Yeah. Everybody's had run-ins with,ins with some extracurricular substances.

I'm pretty run-of-the-mill. My drug stories are all very cliche. Like, I ate an edible and it wasn't working, so I had a second brownie, and I was high for like 63 days straight. You feel like your entire body just won't ever work again? Yeah. I mean, and the real problem is I'm such a fat kid. Like I like brownies that I was like, I'm going to have another one because I want another brownie.

Right. Who did you, like who made them for you? Well, so that was the thing. So me and my buddy who, me and him were roommates and we were like, we're drinkers. We're not drug guys. And we went over to our buddy's house apartment off campus. That was, they were our drug guys. They were big stoners.

So not only, like they know how to make it, how to make the butter right. You know, when you just like throw it in, it doesn't work. When you simmer it with the butter so that it's a paste. Gotta get that THC out of there, Kev. Yeah, right, right.

So they made, we all, and they were so excited to get high with us that they were like really, like I remember him, he ripped off a paper towel for me and he laid it out and put the brownie on the paper towel. He poured me a glass of milk. We all ate the brownie. And I remember we, he ripped off a paper towel for me, and he laid it out and put the brownie on the paper towel. He poured me a glass of milk.

We all ate the brownie. And I remember we were all sitting there waiting, and it hits my buddy. And the guys who all smoke, it hits them first. And they kind of just lean back, and they're on the couch. And me and my friend who were waiting are like, fuck. Come on, this sucks. We've been waiting a while.

And everyone said, no, no, no, no, no. And we're like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Take the brownies. Still nothing. And we're like, all right, let's get out of here and go to another apartment party. And it was a five-story walk-up. And as I walked up, I don't know, I got the blood flowing or whatever. By the time I got to the fifth story, I was like, I felt like I was going to fall down the stairs.

Different galaxy. I was like, I am so fucking high. And that was the highest I've ever been until I did a gravity bong. Oh. You ever done a gravity bong? Yeah. What also was funny about that is I had called my friend recapping the story after I was so high and I said I did a gravity bong for the first time.

He knows nothing about this world, got it all mixed up, and he called it, he relayed the story to my other friends and said, galaxy bomb? He was like, yo, Kev was partying this weekend. He did a galaxy bomb. What the fuck is that? And they were like, what the fuck is a galaxy bomb?

And he was like, yeah, I don't know. It was like some apparatus they set up. And Kev said he was so high. So my friends thought I was doing some sort of new drug called galaxy bombs. And then when I got home and I was telling the story i was like no it's a gravity bong and they were like oh you fucking idiot a gravity bong we know what that is what's a galaxy bomb i was just picturing the scene from 21 jump street you know what was that drug call that they did that jonah hill and channing tatum did whatever it's called where

you have the five stages yeah and like all of a sudden they're just out of it that's what i pictured you in just now you and 21 jump street The Gravity Bong, the opposite of the edibles for me. I took a huge hit. My buddy, he got the bucket out, a bucket of water. Bob Vila'd that shit and made it all at home in his living room. I mean, I was instantaneously high, and I just completely passed out. I was visiting him for a weekend, and I think I passed out for like 12 hours. I missed the weekend of partying.

Was it worth it for you? No. For the experience of it? Oh, well, just to tell the story. Not even just for the story. It's like, alright, now I know what I like and what I don't like. Yeah, I guess so. I just remember I wanted to drink water so badly and I couldn't feel my hands and I wasn't sure if I was gripping the cup hard enough to pick it up.

So I was like squeezing this pint glass. They were like, you're going to break it, dude. I was like, I don't want to drop it. I was gripping the cup hard enough to pick it up. So I was like squeezing this pint glass. Like they were like, you're going to break it, dude. I was like, I don't want to drop it. It was so stoned. So stoned. But that's really, you know, that. And we used to, I used to call this guy Shakes in the Bronx.

Shakes. His name was Shakes. And we would, he knows. I mean, everybody who went to my school. Had to page him back in the day. Yeah. You were old enough. You hit him on the beeper. Beeper. And he would you'd like we would just go right over the bridge into the bronx and

he'd like pick you up and that was we were too young and like you had a beeper that i he had one and then i had one for like a minute like i had his so like i was too young for a beeper but i don't think i'm that much younger than you yeah it was like i had it for like a week because he had gotten a cell phone and it got passed down to me. But then if he had one, I was going to get one shortly. I wanted a beeper so bad. I mean, they were cool for a split second. They were cool. When you could beep someone with a 911 or a 6969 or a 143, it was fun for a second, you know?

It was before my time. Then I got into the Nextel phase. It was before our time. Nextel. If I could get a Nextel right now. Start bleep bleeping people bleep bleep like

when you go like bleep the girl you wanted oh yeah or when you could start doing the custom ringtones like you know it used to just be like

the doot doot doot doot and then you could actually put a song and put that for your crush like Avril Lavigne used to go hard back in those days the next step

phone's also that did you have a next step for like did you have like how old were phone was also that dope. Did you have a Nextel? How old were you? Were you in high school? Did you have one? Oh, yeah. See, I went straight to the Nokia brick phone. I went Nextel. I did several Nextels. I think I started with the i90. It was like the

original one. I had like the brick. Yeah, I had the i. Oh, you had like the construction one, right? There was no flip on it. Yeah, that one is trash. It was silver, and the screen was orange. Were those before the phones you could play Snake on? It was around the same time. I think the Nokia, yeah, the Nokia I think was first.

I had that. Oh, that's the one I had first. Yeah, and then I had the Nextel. I had the gray Nextel that was no flip. The Razr? That was around the same time? This fucking big. The no flip.

You needed the one I had, the last one I had. I had the gray Nextel that was no flip. The Razor? That was around the same time? This fucking big. The no flip. You needed the one I had, the last one I had. I had the Jack Bauer one. The Motorola, it says the I860, for anybody who remembers, or even the I95. You pushed a button and it flipped up. Yeah, I had that one too. That was so dope. I had that one, and then I had- Like a blue screen, blue light.

It was very- I didn't even have one of those. I had another one that was like a manual flip too. I had that one too. Did you have the pull-up antenna? Yep. Did you ever snap people with it? No, I did not.

I almost want to get a Nextel. I still have all my old cell phones. With the pull-up antenna? Oh, yeah. Bring it in. It is... It hurts. ...the most painful thing.

Do you still have your old cell phones? Not... I mean, I might have an old iPhone from like an iPhone ago. I still have... I have my Nextels. You have all of them? Yeah. Bring a shoebox in.

We'll make a video about that. That'd be good. We used to. I bet you all my old text messages are still in there. I bet you they can't turn on. Oh yes they can. I still have all the chargers for them.

I have all the chargers for them. Oh my God. Can you imagine? Yeah. They belong in a museum. I would cringe if I went back to like my, whatever the first phone I had

that could send text messages, I would cringe at seeing what I had. I don't remember like my early days. I think I would cringe looking back at like last year's text messages, I would cringe at seeing what I had. I don't remember my early days. I think I would cringe looking back at last year's text messages, let alone I was 14. I legitimately have a cell phone that has my text messages from high school on it. I don't remember. Do you remember when Ainsley used this text message and we made fun of her?

Yeah. I was dating a girl who was, I think I mentioned her before, her parents lived overseas, so she was very international, and texting was popular way before over in the UK. I remember saying, I was like, before over in the UK. I remember saying, I was like, this will never catch on. The United States of America will not text. Text messages are so much easier. I was like, you're a fucking idiot. Yikes.

That's the most important thing that's ever happened. That thing has got to be like a treasure chest. It's a time capsule. I could go back. I bet you we could find texts of you being like, you want my dragon chain, girl? Probably. I thought the dragon chain was elementary school. Dragon chain was elementary. No, it was 5th grade and 6th grade and a little bit of 7th grade.

When did you get your first cell phone? Probably around that time, but there was no texting. When did you get your first cell phone? 7th grade. Oh, damn. I was in high school, right? You must have been, yeah. But my mom would give me my cell phone, so it was like, if I drop you at the movies at the mall, you can

have it for when you're there and then I take it back when you come home. Did you guys ever call collect? Oh yeah. Did you ever do the like hey mom I'm ready come pick me up? Yeah yeah yeah. Like say your name after the charge. Hey mom just come pick me up. You don't have to pay. No I never did that. That's really smart. I used to just be

the asshole that called my parents collect just because I wanted to call collect. What were you just to talk? I don't know. Now that I, now that I say that out loud, I don't really like at school they had the pay phones like outside that nobody ever used. And I was like, Oh, if you call collect. I would do that.

Like after basketball practice, I would call collect. They'd say, what's your name? I'd say, mom, come pick me up. Do you accept the charges? No. Cause they knew I was ready. And surely I just, I had something to say. There's no way I was just calling my parents in the middle of the day at school.

But these are the things that the new age kids are never going to know. Never. Never going to say. There's no way I was just calling my parents in the middle of the day at school. These are the things that new age kids are never going to know. Never. Never going to know. Call and collect and avoiding the charge. Or when you accidentally hit on the Nokia phone when you'd accidentally hit the internet and you tried to get out of it really fast because as soon as you were on the internet it was like

a trillion dollars. Back in the day. We were on expensive cell phones and we were probably smoking shitty weed. Life. Living. The first time I ever received a nude on a cell phone I was like, what? That's a great question.

When did I get my first nude? I was probably late in the game. When did you start even sending pictures? What phone started doing that? We were seniors in high school it was like the Verizon phones I think razors and slivers

could do that damn definitely your ratchet sidekick I had that in college you had a sidekick in college oh hell yeah you'd get that little spin going,

and I had long nails, and it... That was real ratchet. I mean, I can't say this enough. This is coming from the girl that had her tongue pierced, we found out this past week. What a slut. I did not know that. Out of all the things that I found out about you

in the past year, Casey Smith, tongue piercing did not have that on my radar. I'm just in full surprise. It kind of fits, though. That phase of hers. I mean, like, look at her. What is that supposed to mean? He's saying it's fitting the phase.

You're saying... I'm saying, like, I mean, like, if, you know, you could be a porn star. Thanks? Like, the only thing that is... Thanks? That was very funny.

The only thing that's keeping Casey Smith's look from being an actual porn star is a tongue piercing you take it away and she's a respectable woman you're hot it's a compliment

well thank you I know see thank you but I don't necessarily know I can't say that I can't say that I would much rather you say that than

you're a porn star if you had a tongue piercing you'd be a porn star yeah that's the only thing like to be clear the only thing that's standing in between KC and being a porn star is that she doesn't fuck on camera for money. Let's say that.

Well... I like to go on the record. I do not do that. I don't think there's a gray area there. We're talking public perception. We're not talking actual actions. I do not do anything on camera for money. And I also don't think the perception is that KC fucks on camera for money.

No, because she doesn't have her tongue pierced anymore. If you had your tongue pierced, people would say well, at some point she did do porn. Guys, I have something that's going to really just blow your minds up. I had it pierced four times. What?

You just kept going back for more. Wait, you told us on radio that you only had it for six months. The first time. Oh, you lying bitch. Because you got self-conscious and now you're ready to... No, there was a lot of different reasons. No, but I mean you're telling us now because at first you got self-conscious. No, I didn't want to say it on national radio.

And you were going to say it was just six months. I didn't want to say it on... Well, yeah, don't worry. No one's listening now. So you're saying on the podcast there's way more people listening on the podcast. I'd like to go on the record and say that KFC radio crowd, that's not going to shock them.

If Susan in Kansas is listening and she... That is true. But there's just way more people on the podcast than on TV. Oh, way more. I actually started to say it and then fights came running in about KB and I was saved by the bell. Again, saved by. You could have just lied.

You don't have to tell us this. I know, but so, so how many, how often like, so, cause I knew a girl, I know a girl who was very prude,

very pretty, very hot, but she was very prude. And she got her tongue pierced. I remember being like, what is this about? And, uh,

she like, you have to like drink, you have to like keep it clean. Right. Oh yeah. Cause she also was, she would smoke cigarettes and that's like an absolute no, no, no. you have to keep it clean. She would smoke cigarettes and that's an absolute no-no. She wanted to smoke cigarettes.

Long story short, my point was she took it out and it closed up. It was all a very quick thing for her. It closes up very quickly. It was a stint of probably a year and a half, two years off and on that I had it. You got it when?

My freshman year of college. So by 21, you're done. Yeah. Oh, yeah. At 21, I had a life change. What did your parents think? They did not like it. I tried to hide it for a long time. The first time I took it out was because I felt really bad. What's up? Did you do a metal or a plastic ball?

I had both. I bet you did. Did you have a boyfriend at the time? Sometimes. What does that mean? I mean, I had it for a long time. Oh, yeah. Off and on.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Would you, like, play with it and put it, like, in between your teeth? Oh, yeah. Actually, like, my girlfriends that know me back then, like, they'll still make fun of me. Like, I would always play with it. Actually, like, my girlfriends that know me back then, like, they'll still make fun of me. Like, I would always play with it, like, outside of my mouth sometimes.

You just don't realize that you're doing it. Why are you staring at my tongue now? I don't have it in now. I'm like, I can't think of anything I'd rather have left. This is the first time I think I've actually, like, turned red talking to the two of you. And I've said a lot to the two of you, so. It's just like, you know, I just didn't know that you had it in you.

Did you ever have any guys, like, say, like, call it out? Be like, hey, you want to put that ring to you sort of thing? Yeah. And you would play it up? Yeah. I mean, you probably got free drinks. I mean, you could probably get free drinks anyways. Never mind.

I hate myself. I actually hate myself. I started, like, coming up with these stories. First of all, my career up until coming to Barstool, these stories would never come flying out of the back of my brain. You were squeaky clean. Shit. Now I'm like, well.

Now this almost all makes me think about what else? Oh, we're just scratching the surface. I feel like there's a lot in there. There's probably some tattoos we don't know about. Definitely tattoos you don't know about. Really? Yeah.

What do you got? Why are you looking at me like that? I only have like a couple tattoos. Casey has like her asshole tattoos. Oh, no. These are tattoos that you would be able to see if I was in a bathing suit.

Well, that's what I mean. Are there any ones that... No. Yeah. No. Have you got any tattoos? I thought we were going to talk about drugs. Let's get back to the drug topic.

You know the podcast got off the rails when it was supposed to be about drugs. And you wish it was. There are going to be people who are like, prove it. All right, let's get into the rest of this podcast. Uh,

we had a big episode this week, uh, highlighted by, um, Zah, the train conductor. That was wild. Zah,

the, the, the, the, the, the giant slayer. Cause I used to have a girlfriend who was over six feet tall. He is four and a half feet.

You do the math on that one. Uh, what else did we have? Bob Fox. A lot of baseball. Opening day, the Jacob deGrom deal. We debated baseball for a little bit. Bob Fox has a new show. Also coincided with the Conor McGregor

news. There was actually a very big barstool sports week on CCK. We also had an impromptu Answer the Internet featuring Casey Smith. I was off my game. I was off my game. We can run it back.

I think I'm going to have to add a couple more cards to the game now knowing some of the revelations that Casey has revealed. Casey puked in the studio. Several times. In the trash. All in all, kind of just another week.

It was weird, but just par for the course. You have to get super weird to really jar me these days. To move the needle, it's got to be soon. Oh, Dan's a dad. I was going to say, major announcements. We got a new Barstool baby in the mix. We're going to have a new Barstool wedding. Baby cat. So congrats to Dan and Coley.

And enjoy the rest of the podcast cck podcast best of serious um answer the internet is out right now with guys we fucked an all-time answer from this girl corinne the question was uh question there's certain questions that are just born from the internet like somewhere along the way one person came up with this but i don't know who it was and i don't know when it was, but the OG question of, would you rather watch your parents have sex every night or join in one time to make it stop? And this girl, Corinne, she said she would not be able to join in. Normal answer.

The reasoning is because her dad is too tall. Oh. She was like, yeah, logistically, it just wouldn't work out. Yeah. I was like, yeah, logistically it just wouldn't work out. Yeah. I was like, what? That's why you can't fuck your dad? Because he's too tall? She was like, you know, the mechanics just don't work.

I'm like, yeah, no, I get it. I know. If you're having sex with someone who's way different height and your knee height doesn't add up. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's like a fucking game of Tetris. You got to make the blocks fit. It's not true. Kevin, Kevin, trust me, it can be figured out. of Tetris. You got to make the blocks fit. It's not true. Kevin, Kevin,

trust me, it can be figured out. That's what I was about to say. I told you. I used to date a girl that was north of six foot. Trust me, it can be figured out.

so how does, I mean, you have to be, I was waiting for Zah to come out. If you are on your knees and she's on her hands and knees, you've got to be on like a phone book. You're on your what?

Wait, hold on. What do you say? If I'm on my knees and she's on her. So if she's, if she's doggy style on her hands and knees, you've got to be on a phone book. What? Hold on. If I'm on my knees and she's on her... If she's doggy style on her hands and knees, then ordinarily a guy is on his knees as well. I'm on my feet.

You stand up while she's regular doggy style. That's hilarious. That is so funny. I had a futon. I had a futon that was low riding. She was tall. Her limbs were So I had a futon. I had a futon that was low-riding. That was low-riding. So she was tall. Her limbs were tall as fuck.

And I had a futon that was tall-riding. So when I was with her initially, I had to get on with it. So she would be on the floor and you'd be on the futon. Oh, yeah. Hilarious. That's awesome. But you can understand her where, I mean, yes, it can be done. Life finds a way. But you need a goddamn tall riding futon.

Oh, yeah. You figure it out. I cannot believe you were with a girl who's over six feet. That girl, you're both just perverts. Both of you are deviants. Kevin, when you're on the extreme end of the spectrum, I mean, you got no choice. Well, I think you guys are just like, well, we're both fucking freaks on either end, so let's fuck each other. There we go. You figured it out. I told you I hooked up with that girl

that was like 6'6", 6'7". Volleyball player. She was not 6'7". She was 6'5", 6'6". She was 6'3". No. She was 6'6". She was between 6'5 and 6'6". She was abnormally tall. Did she play college

volleyball? Yeah. she play college volleyball? Yeah, she played college volleyball Big bitch That's a huge bitch Well, I mean, shout out to Zaha and his giant women But I understand her point of like You know, averagely speaking If you just hop on the bed and you don't match up It's kind of a pain

But like, I don't recall Like to me, it's... Listen, you're always going to be in the right vicinity. But there are times where you're almost going at it like an angle up or an angle down rather than just right in. Can confirm. Yeah. And it's like you can get the job done, but it's not

ideal. I mean, you can figure it out. It's a logistical nightmare though. Yeah. So it's a production. But again, the point being, that's what i think about with normal people i'm supposed to be having sex with that would not be my concern with having sex with one of my parents like if you're a guy like there was no there was no issues because it's like it's either like you guys know like either either she's like laying flat and i'm on my side we're like like making out or whatever no issue there missionary no issue there besides like a fucking when you want to throw a leg over it's like it wraps around your

body and then like yeah like you can kind of like angler down from behind it's not that it's not that big of a deal then again it's a big deal but i'm saying if if you're talking about a six foot six girl it's not her ass is higher than your dick. Yeah. So that's, like, inconvenient. You have to, like, angle your dick upwards. Or you have to be on a higher... Not on, like, a bed, though. Like, we're talking about, like...

Well, if she's that tall... If I'm going to bend her over a bed, then, yeah, we have an issue. No, if she's on her hands and knees, the distance from her knee to her, like, butt, that, you know, your thigh, is much longer than your thigh. Right. So she's going to be higher than your dick is. It's like, yeah, you're going, like... Yes than your thigh right so she's gonna be higher than your dick it's like yeah you're going like yes yeah right that's what i'm saying yeah it's just difficult it wasn't you'll be you'll be within the same hey ballpark but anything is possible anything's possible yeah yeah god bless her go check out answer the internet feature those

two girls i'm gonna pose a couple questions to you. Tongue pierced, too, by the way. It's just the sluttiest thing in the world. There's just no logical reason other than, like, I want to show you that I'll probably suck your dick. I haven't encountered a tongue pierced. Did you have your tongue pierced? You did? I saw her face and I was like, yep. Casey. Yep, I know that means she had her tongue pierced.

Casey. Wow. Next question. Wow. Next question. Your parents must have hated that. My. Wow. Next question. Wow. Next question. Your parents must have hated that. My parents hated me for a long time. How old were you?

I was in college. How long did you have it? Not long. How much dick did you suck? Next question. There is literally only one reason. Wow. No, that's not true.

What the fuck was the thought process? I have no idea. I don't know what I not true. What the fuck was the thought process? I have no idea. I don't know what I was thinking literally my entire college career until probably last year. Well, I'm not saying the reason is like I'm going to go suck dick,

but the reason is like I want to look slutty and hot. I don't even, I mean probably, but I don't remember even making the decision to do it. I mean there's nothing more that a girl can do to indicate I'm here to suck some dick than have a tongue piercing. Listen, I obviously don't have one now.

I don't know what to tell you. I was a degenerate ratchet bitch. Did it heal completely? Mm-hmm. She's like chewing on it right now. There's no, like, scar tissue? No, there is. How long?

It's probably underneath, right? No, it's on top, too. How much did that hurt? Not bad. I don't remember. Were you drunk? I'm telling you, I don't remember. How long? It's probably underneath, right? No, it's on top too. How much did that hurt? Not bad. I don't remember. Were you drunk? I'm telling you I don't remember. How long did she have it for? I don't know. Like six months maybe? Oh, that's not even like... You weren't even dedicated to the game.

Let's just go ahead and play. She cries all the time. Do you know who doesn't cry and is tough as a motherfucker? Zion. Kate. Kate with her broken nose is one of i i texted her being like i this is i are you okay but also this is unbelievable content kate last night two nights ago saturday night went out was on her way home, got some drunk pizza, was running out of the pizza place, stepped on her shoelace, fell,

was so committed to that drunk slice of pizza, she didn't put her hands out, and she just fell directly onto the pavement and broke her nose. Is it broken? Oh, it's broken, bro. Has she been in the office today? Yeah, she's here right now.

She has a shit ton of makeup on because she has black eyes from it, but you can't tell with the makeup. I mean, you can tell. I wish she just rolled up her crooked nose with black eyes and said, fuck it. But obviously, I mean, if Daniela just said to me, if any other girl here broke her nose, it would be like, Daniela Danielle said crisis, like DEFCON one.

Yeah. I mean, you really can't tell right now. Well, I bought a shitload of concealer yesterday, so that was helpful. But whatever brand, like that should be their new shit. Like, hey, you won't even tell if you have a broken nose. Are you a human dumpster fire? We've got a great concealer for you that will cover any mistake. The icing on the dumpster cake.

You wearing the fuck you, you fucking fuck shirt. Oh, such an idiot. I had gone to Little Italy that day and I was like, oh, I'm going to have myself a little New York City tourist day. So I'm walking Little Italy and they have all those dumb t-shirts and the fuck you fucking fuck just made me laugh. I was like, that's so not me. I was like, it's perfect.

And I was like, I'll wear it out tonight because what sassy lady doesn't wear a cute shirt like that with stretch pants. I was wearing stretch pants, Keds and fuck you. Fucking fuck. So your face hit the pavement. Yeah. Oh, dead on. I don't have.

I fell straight like a straight log. Like my knees didn't even bed because I was bragging about how I never tie my shoes they're not tied right now like i still have you're still not no okay but uh yeah so i fell straight down holding a slice of pizza on a paper plate like between my hands yeah and when i fell i just straightened out to hold the pizza out in front of me was the commitment to the slice so i have no scratches at all on my arms because I fell so smooth. Right on the face. But I landed right on my face. I hit my knees so hard that parts of my stretch pants are still in the cuts on my knees.

Yeah, I was like trying to scrub them out of the shower. Yeah, it's super gross. Oh my God. So did you cry? No. I see. Yeah. No.

That's how this came about. I said that the scene in the locker room for UCF afterwards yeah despite it being a crushing loss I mean those guys were all like sobbing to the point that I was like I've never seen a locker room like this I said you know who's not crying guys is Barstool Kate with a broken nose why don't we toughen up a little bit yeah well I wasn't crying because all in all the most important thing the pizza remained on the. It had slid up to the very top of the plate. It was like right on the edge of the pavement. But it didn't.

And I like scooped it up with one hand. I was holding it like a suitcase on the side. I was like, okay. I was going to say, was the reaction around the street where people like, oh, my God. Yeah. So I ran out in front of a cab that was far away at the time. But when I fell, I was like two feet from the bumper. Imagine if you got hit by a cab on top of it all. I mean, think

of the page views, though. Oh. The death pool. Kate would have maybe won the death pool. Well, Kevin texted me yesterday, like, hey, you okay? Whatever. And I was like, yeah, I'm fine. But is it bad that as I was laying with blood, my hair was soaked in blood. My nose was just

super bloody. My hands and my hair. It was like pouring out? It was pouring out? It was pouring out. I was like, oh man, I gotta write about this. It was one of the first things that I thought. It's a sick life, but when catastrophes happen, I'm like, well, we gonna blog. We gonna blog, baby.

The only source of blood was from your nostrils. There was no other cuts that were bleeding. The skin on your nose wasn't... Oh yeah, it's covered in concealer right now but if you look closely, the top of my nose is cut up. I'm so glad you didn't lose any teeth. They hurt. They really hurt. So they were in play too.

They were in play. I definitely, inside of my lips cut all the way down. She could have been in here without her front two teeth. Oh yeah. I kind of wish you rolled in without the concealer just to do it. I know, because it's like black underneath my eyes a little. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe. You know what? Maybe. Think of the content. True. What we should really be doing, sales, you better be on the fucking phone with some sort of makeup sponsor right now. Yeah. Look, we could even cover up like a broken face. As we know, girls versus gravity is like a

theme for us i feel like we could really do something usually usually it's girls on elevated uh what is it what's elevated surfaces yeah yeah kate was on like the ground but gravity can still get you yeah walk us through your uh your bar tab leading up to this this oh my god well so i was supposed to go out for a birthday party that night and i fell asleep watching the villanova game so by the time it was done i was like ah shit so then another friend called and was like why don't you come out with me and i'm old i'm in my early 30s now i was like i don't know i should just stay in but that little like come on old girl you got it so i went out back over to manhattan and they were drinking wine i was like well i'll catch up so i was like housing merlots like an idiot i was like like chugging them'll catch up. I was housing Merlot's like an idiot. I was

chugging them like a beer. It was wines. That'll do it. $80 bar tab for just wine at the first bar just for me. That's a lot of wine. It's a lot of wine. It's a good wine. I assume you weren't drinking

a nice bottle of wine. No, no, no. I'll have the jug No, no, no. It was like 75, four. I'll have the jug of Gallo, please. I'll take it. So you were drinking a lot of shitty wine. Yeah. And then I was in a club where like,

like younger people were dancing and I was like, I had like my little Coleman cooler backpack on. Were you drinking wine still? No. By this point I was vodka sodas. What club were you at? I was in the village. I was in the East Village I think, so I don't know. Get it, girl.

It was very not me. I'm going to need to know where you were because I live in the East Village right now. I'm going to need to know. I'm trying to picture the scene that you were in. So my version of a club might not be your version of a club. It was probably a bar in the East Village. People are dancing. Pianos? Have you ever been there? There's like a back room where bands play. So I was in the East Village people are dancing

pianos? have you ever been there? there's like a back room people are dancing there I was at a club then it's not like Tao or anything but it's definitely a good time so that's where I hit the point where I was like oh shit it was like almost 4 in the morning

I was like I think you're done now not before I get this pizza so I walked out and there was the dollar slice place it was like almost four in the morning. I was like, I think you're done now. Yeah. So I know. Not before I get this pizza. So I walked out and there was the dollar slice place like next to Piano's. And I was like, oh, I got the line was long and I was going to go home. And I was like, no, you need this. And they ran out of plane and I wanted plane. But I was like, no, you need this.

So I got a big old slice of pepperoni. And like, you know, when you're drunk and you get those like bacon ranch cheese fries or that slice of pizza that you're just like, fuck yeah. So I was going to run across the street. There was, like, a flower, like, bed or something. I was like, I'm going to sit on the edge of this flower thing and just house this sucker. That's what I was, like, beelining to when I ran across the street. My shoelace got caught in my other shoe, and I just went down hard. The cab driver got out and was terrified because I fell right in front of his car.

And he was like, oh, my God. Are you okay? Did you eat the pizza? No. I didn't. My mouth hurt so much. I didn't think so. But then again, I didn't know on what level of drunk you were.

Blood usually doesn't make it for a good pizza. But you know, like, whenever, like, if you're that drunk, that at some point you might have been like. Yeah, were you that drunk? I mean, yes, you're drunk. But, like, you remember all this and, like. It sobered me up pretty quick. Yeah. But I woke up in the morning morning i took the piece of pizza home with me

yeah like all the way back to queens i woke up and i was like there she is fully intact on the plate like i don't know why would you rather have it be because you were like completely hammered or that you were a klutz i don't know what's worse i think it was a mix of both at the time though because yeah probably right yeah but i'm just thinking like when i if i was a klutz. I don't know what's worse. I think it was a mix of both at the time, though. Yeah, probably, right? But I'm just thinking, like, when I, if I was a klutz, I'd be like, well, that's just me. Like, it happened because that's me. Whereas if I do something,

when I do something colossally stupid when I'm drunk, I'm like, oh, I just want to rewind time. I just want to go back in time. Like, don't drink that much and don't do that. So I feel like that would drive me crazy if I broke my nose from just being too drunk. Well, oddly enough, on Thursday night, I went to a strip club and I was wearing those same shoes.

I was wearing those same shoes and I almost fell in the strip club for the same reason. Can we retire those shoes maybe or start tying them? Maybe start tying them, I guess. Which strip club did you go to? It was the one where the stage is a giant basketball net. You know what I'm talking about?

Hoops or something like that. It's a giant basketball net with a clear stage on top and then the pole comes out of the net. And they're like the basketball swirling down the pole to the net. Kate's strip club stories are so great. When we were roomies in Atlanta and you went to... Which one was it?

The Claremont Lounge. That's a special one. She started talking about how this lady was We were roomies in Atlanta and you went to, which one was it? The Claremont Lounge. The Claremont Lounge. Like, we both wake up. That's a special one. But she started talking about how this lady was like crashing Miller Lite cans with her boobs. What was her name again? Oh my God, I don't remember. Betsy or something like that? I don't remember her name now,

but she's been there forever. She's like 85. Oh, Jesus Christ. Kate's strip club stories were, I mean, it needs to be a thing. Like, maybe it needs to be like a series. Like, Kate does strip clubs. Does she do strip club reviews? I could do it, I think, if they would allow the thing. Maybe it needs to be like a series. Like Kate does strip clubs.

I could do it, I think, if they would allow the robot. Twist my arm. I feel like maybe we need to track down street cam security footage. There might be. I fell outside of a hotel. It could happen. It could be there. And I kind of want to call them and be like, this is so silly.

And I should have asked that cab driver, hey, real quick, do you have a dash cam, bro? Like, just seeing me, like, sprinting out all excited, like, holding this pizza and then going down. You definitely need to. Yeah. My nostrils are uneven now. They'll go back, right? They'll go back. Yeah. That's all right.

Unless you like biz. You had a biz nasty nose right away, and his is pretty permanent. Yeah. What kind of medicine are you on? Just Advil right now. I know. Well, yeah, because she didn't even go to the emergency room. She just went home.

I know. I was just saying. I was so hungover. I was like, I would rather die right now than be in a hospital. Yeah. Whatever. How was that morning after? Did you wake up and think it was a dream, or are you just trying to piece it together?

I woke up. You wake up, and you're like, oh, my face. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The worst part is my room's like very small, so I have my bed and then it's like a foot and then my dresser with a huge mirror, so I sat up and I was like, oh, okay.

Good morning, beautiful. That's what happened last night. There it is. Yeah. I still have blood everywhere, so it was like... You still have blood on your face? Well, yeah, you probably went to bed and it just kept bleeding, right? It doesn't stop. Your nose is not like, okay, you probably went to bed and just kept bleeding, right? Yeah. It doesn't stop. Your nose is not like, okay, we're going to bed now.

I'll just stop bleeding. Yeah. Good times. Moral of the story, you could still be a degenerate. Just tie your shoes. Tie those shoes. Tie your shoes.

I'm going Velcro, I think. Switch back. There you go. I can't believe you still have untied shoes on right now. I know. I just hate time. Like the dad in me is like, God damn it.

Tie your shoes, young lady. I know. Man. Have any of you ever? I was going to say, I'm trying to think of my worst drunk injury. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't really drunk the night

that I was sleepwalking and ruined my life. It was different. But I don't think I've ever been so drunk that I fell or something like that. No, my worst injury, something like that, is when I was at the gym, I flipped off the back extension machine.

That was when I was here. And we tried to get the footage. I tried to get the footage. Like, you know what I'm talking about, right? Where you're like laying on your stomach and your legs just spinning behind you. And I guess I, I use that machine all the time and I guess I got cocky with it and like thought one of my legs was in it when it wasn't. And I did a full front flip off of it, busted up my face, like busted up whatever.

And they wouldn't give me the footage they wouldn't give me the footage that sucks that's what i said i was like listen if i'm gonna have to walk around looking like this right now and have embarrassment like i did i should at least be able to put the content out and they were like no can't man that's like what was the point then yeah and i wasn't even drunk so it didn't even like the the pain i felt right away at least if you're drunk you know it's little bit. It would have been great if you were like, so I was shit-faced at the gym and made a little mistake. Yeah, no, I mean, I've fallen down a bunch drunk,

but it's never on my face. I think that's my only drunk injury. I don't think I've ever had a drunk injury before. I've had, like, I've fallen, but I don't think I've gotten hurt. Yeah. Didn't something happen to you with the, you know, like, bruises all over you after the parade? I thought there was something.

Yeah, we were doing... Yeah, you got your ass kicked in the outfield. Yeah, we were doing Oklahoma drills in the outfield. That's not really a drunk injury. That's more just like you got beat up by a player in the outfield. I had bruised ribs, but like I didn't remember it. I think that kind of counts. If you get drunk and do Oklahoma drills with guys who are much bigger than you, then yeah. A few months ago,

so I used to play rugby, which probably is self-explanatory hearing the dumb shit that happens to me like a dumb rugby girl but uh I meet up with the girls I played with sometimes like so we had a house in the Poconos and I was doing radio till midnight at the time so I got there super late so I was like the only sober one by the time I got there and one of the girls who had just gotten a new teaching job fell face planted like I did and knocked her front tooth out immediately. I mean, broken nose sucks, but it could have been catastrophic

where you have to have dental this and that and fake teeth. I know. And that would hurt so much. I would rather break my nose like every day for 20 days in a row than lose a tooth. Well, I'm almost hoping when it heals, like free nose job. Maybe it'll look good. A girl can dream. Hey, Kate,

things are looking up. Everything's coming up, Kate. And you look, like, fine today. Thank you. Yeah, I, like, he said that you couldn't tell at all. I was like, I saw the picture, but there's no way. Here's an actual idea. I was gonna say. So, I would like you to come in without the makeup for the story, but I understand why not. What you should do is do

one of those makeup tutorial videos with Ellie. With Ellie! For like, Ellie's like, here's how to contour your face, and Kate's like, here's how to disguise your broken face with two black eyes! Or Francis has been doing those creepy ones. Oh yeah. Do a drunk makeup. Go home tonight. Get drunk. Put those shoes on again.

Run around. Do a drunk makeup tutorial for all my girls with broken noses out there. All right. Maybe you should drink $80 worth of cheaper wine again, too, so you really know exactly where you are. Let's recreate that moment. It's like when you study high, you take the test high sort of thing.

Yeah. I could do it. I mean, did you have like eight glasses of wine? Oh, yeah. Because if it's $80 and you're looking at it, if it's cheap wine, you're looking at what, like maybe $9 or $10 a glass in New York? I was at the Blind Tigers, like my favorite bar, one of my favorite bars in the city, and I got the coveted fireplace spot.

So I was like, I'm just settling in and I'm just so, yeah. That's amazing. Settled in by the fireplace for hours. We were there for hours and hours. That's fantastic. Yeah. I love it. Nothing good ever happens at like 3 or 4 a.m.

No. Right? No. But you're not going to stop doing it. But I got good page views yesterday. Hey! So it all comes up well. Atta girl.

What can I say? All comes up page views. You still look great all things considered. Thank you. Thank you. Honestly, I can't even tell. Really? Yeah.

If we didn't know, like even knowing, I'm like, eh. You wouldn't be able to. But if you just walked up to somebody who didn't know, despite the fact that we publicize it all over the Internet, millions of people to see, they wouldn't be able to. No, several layers of concealer works like a dream. Not a big makeup lady. I think I am now. Yeah. Root, root, root for the whole team If they don't win, it's a shame

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out of the old ballgame Take it away, Jared Karabas. It's opening day, baby. It's opening day, Kevin Clancy. It's day one of a grind. Seven months. Well, six for you, seven for me. Let's be honest.

Let's be honest. About two and a half to three for me. Yeah. Mother's Day. I just got to make it to Mother's Day and then I shut it down. Yeah. I mean, I hope that you're playing meaningful games. Don't say it.

Don't say it. August, September. August. At least August. You know what, actually? You know what I'm going to do? What? Get merch on the line.

I'm going to make, for all the battered Mets fans out there, I'm going to make meaningful games in September t-shirts. This is for all the Mets fans who have lived through the Wilpons and their infamous, we just want to be playing meaningful baseball in September quote. Yeah. I think we will be. But I hate that that is like the Wilpon mantra. Meaningful baseball in September.

That's not the month. It's October. Anyway, no, don't give me sidetracks. Baby steps. Don't give me sidetracks. We're on here. It's opening day. Jacob DeGrom's on the bump. Baby steps. Baby steps. Don't give me sidetracks. Baby steps. We're on here. It's opening day. Jacob DeGrom's on the bump.

He's defending Cy Young. Champ. This team. Hey, I'll tell you what, Jared. I looked at that lineup. I don't hate it. I don't hate the Mets lineup. There was never an issue with the lineup.

No, there absolutely is. There absolutely was. No, I mean, they didn't perform, but on paper, they were good. Well, I don't give a fuck about it. What Conforto are we getting this year? That's the problem. No, I mean, they didn't perform, but on paper they were good. Well, I don't give a fuck about it. What Conforto are we getting this year? That's the problem. That's the thing.

Paper is going to be a problem. Conforto is a big question mark. I think Cano is a big question mark. I think people have anointed Brandon Nimmo an MVP candidate somehow. I think he's a nice scrappy little leadoff hitter, but let's not act like... I mean, if we're relying on huge production for Brandon Nimmo, I think we're in trouble. I think he's a nice scrappy little leadoff hitter, but let's not act like... If we're relying on huge production for Brandon Nimmo, I think we're in trouble. I think... Brandon Nimmo was like an NL MVP

candidate at one point last year. For like a fucking day. And then it was like, relax. It was like a month or two. He was like a 900-something OPS for a little bit. I know, but there was never a fucking chance Brandon Nimmo was winning the MVP. Come on.

Come on. Everyone relax. Come back to earth. I mean, the catcher position ever since Mike Piazza is going to be a fuck— Well, shout out to my man, Paulie LaDuca. There's always an issue with the Mets. You know, the fact that they even— Shout out to my man, Todd Frazier, who he liked on Instagram,

the latest answer to the internet that was up. The question was, if you got $10,000 per day, every day that you didn't masturbate, how long could you go? Todd Frazier was liking that. So shout out to you. I wonder how many days Todd Frazier can go without jerking off. It's a beautiful day down in Washington. You think he'll answer that? You know what?

Might as well. Let's get Todd Frazier in here somehow. Can you work on that for me, Jared? I mean, he's at the end of his fucking... He was originally, I think he was going to do the Spikes Up tour, and then scheduling didn't work out. I'm stunned that he didn't. Yeah, because he seems like a very chill, very laid-back kind of guy.

Heart of a lion. He's the heart of a lion. Can't stay on the field, and his bat kind of is falling apart, but his heart is just that of a lion. It's an important day, Jared his heart is just that of a lion. It's an important day, Jared. It is the most important day. By the way, let me paint the picture.

Jared's in his pajamas. Baseball pants. That's not pajamas. You came in in pajamas. Gay Pat said the same thing. Everybody said the same thing. They don't look like baseball pants at all. They look like pajamas. Have you ever seen baseball pants before? Baseball pants are a lot tighter. They don't look like baseball pants at all. They are pajamas. They look like pajamas. Okay, so have you ever seen baseball pants before?

Because these are baseball pants. Baseball pants are a lot tighter. Yeah, they're way too baggy. Yeah, they're baggy because I grew up with Manny, dog. Yeah, but see, that's the thing. When you say baseball pants, that's like when girls talk about baseball pants. It's like they're tight around the ass. I mean, those absolutely do not look-

Casey Smith is going to tell me what baseball pants look like? Oh, Casey! Literally everybody in the office is telling you those look like pajamas. Oh, Casey. Are baseball pants not tight, Jared? Yeah, in like the fucking 70s. Nobody's going to think those are baseball pants. Thank you.

He's laughing at me because I'm the easy person to like. They just don't look like it. They don't. They don't look like them at all. He's got his section 10 flag draped around his shoulders and his section 10 slides on his feet. No, these are starting nine slides. Starting nine slides on his feet. No, these are starting nine slides. Starting nine slides on his feet. Starting nine t-shirt.

So he is all baseballed out. Yeah. Now, it's the most important day of the year for me because Hope Springs Eternal, it's a clean slate, the Mets are in first place right now, and they're the best opening day team in baseball history. Today is, yes, a ceremony for you, correct? No, no, no. We start our fucking season with an 11-game West Coast road trip. three. Today is yes, a ceremony for you, correct? No, no, no.

We start our fucking season with an 11-game West Coast road trip. Oh, wow. Really? Oh, yeah. What the fuck is that about? We don't see rings for two weeks from now. It's ridiculous. That's not normal, is it? Not normal at all, Kevin. Okay, that's crazy. Well, so my point was going to be that while

the rings ceremony is nice for you, even though it's not today, these games are a formality for you. You need to fast forward to October. This for me is where, this is my like, world series. Yeah, well, this is where it all starts and probably ends. You're talking to the wrong guy, because I mean, I just, I love

baseball. I love baseball. I love every team. I love watching all the games. So like, I get off on watching Max Scherzer versus Jacob deGrom. Fuck yeah. That gets my rocks off with that. Yeah. Well, this is going to be a doozy right here. Max Scherzer, I'm sick of this fucking guy.

I do need to pull up the Yankee game, though, just for national coverage. Just need to make sure that... Can we maybe fit that on the TV screen somehow? Is that possible? Sure, we'll figure it out. Okay, thanks, Zaha. Did you drive any trains last night, Zaha? What's up?

Sorry, I just ran to the TVs. Sorry, I'm pulling you both directions. Did you drive any trains last night? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. So, actually last night we were meant to play baseball last night. So, while I was waiting for... Spider just got his PS4. Spider got his PS4. So, while I was waiting for that to get all set up and all,

I drove trains for a little bit. I tried out the thing. They don't crash. No? his PS4, so while I was waiting for that to get all set up and all, I drove trains for a little bit. I tried out the thing. They don't crash. No? They don't. No. I was so disappointed. Does it just tell you you're over the limit and you lose?

Yeah, it just keeps going or cuts you off. I think it's because the game is not even rated R or anything. I was going to say, this day and age, 2019, you can't do that. I'm so sick of Max Scherzer and his double. Why? Who cares? Me. I care. Why do little things like that bother you, Kev? age 2019 you can't do that i'm so sick of max scherzer and his double why two different eyes me i guess why why why do little things like that bother you kev because i'm a fucking uh loser cynical jaded uh a bitter person and i and i don't like anything to do with the nationals

with the yankees or the phillies okay and the marlins else? No, it's about it in baseball. Okay. That's where my unbridled hatred starts and stops with those teams. Why? My own team and then those. Why isn't MLB TV working right now? Seems like a problem. So baseball is here.

Casey Smith, I don't know, just take a few months off, huh? Yeah. Apparently I don't know what baseball pants look like. Although I've been checking out baseball pants or guys' asses in baseball pants my entire life. I mean, that's what every girl does. Right. Baseball pants and football pants. What's funny is that...

Football pants are tight always. Baseball pants are not always tight. Well, I'm not the only one that doesn't think that you look like you're wearing baseball pants. It's you and Kevin. That's two people in the office. And, well, and Gay Pat, too. I mean, literally everybody in the office, but, you know, neither here nor there.

These are baseball fans. Baseball is here. Are the new rules fully enacted, Jared? Uh, no. Is that just next season or what? Uh, yeah, there's some

that are next season. Um, like the... What's the three-batter rule? Is that the season or no? Um, I think that that's what... I'm confused now, because

there was, was like the three batter minimum there was the fuck what were the other ones i'm drawing up like now i don't remember i remember the rules good morning good afternoon good night scherzer just struck out nemo like he was a fucking what were the other rules god damn it uh i don't know you should know this is the national baseball cover i know i'm trying, I'm like trying to set up games. I know. We're all distracted right now because it's like Christmas morning here. So we got the Yankees and the Mets on.

So for years now, ever, I would say maybe it was 2014 or 15, I was living in Hoboken. We were doing the rundown on Skype at this point. Oh, the pitch clock. I had ordered hot dogs to be delivered to my house because the Mets had a day game. That's what I do. And I thought the rundown was going to be well over by the time the game started and my dogs arrived. But Dave was milling around and was taking too much time. So in the middle of the rundown, my door knocks,

and I have to get up from the rundown. I run over and I grab my dogs, and Dave was like, what is that? And I was like, they're my day game dogs. And that was the birth of a movement, that every single time the Mets have a day game, I like to eat myself some hot dogs. Okay. And so what better of a day game than opening day game dogs?

So I had Brett order them. Okay. And Brett ordered 100 hot dogs to come to the office. He told me they were going to arrive at 1 p.m. And while I am eternally grateful for him ordering triple-digit hot dogs for me, I go on the air at 1 p.m. That's true. It's hard for me to stuff my face with hot dogs when I got to be on the air. So me and YP, we went over to Papaya Dog ourselves around, let's call it noon. And I had the worst

experience of my entire life, Casey Smith. I went to Papaya Dog. It's one of my favorite places. And I ordered myself two with mustard, two with chili cheese, two with onions. You ordered six for yourself? I ordered six for myself. YP steps up and he orders two chili cheese, one with sauerkraut and relish, one with onions. I wanted a knish. All of a sudden, one guy's making mine, one guy's making his. Nobody's communicating. Nobody knows how many we've ordered.

And they look to me and they're like, how many hot dogs do you have? Like, well, how much is this? I was like, I don't fucking work here, man. I order the hot dog. Your job. You know how much they cost. Yeah. I pay you, then I go eat them.

And then they had like a fight. There was team dissension at Papaya Dog. These guys started yelling at each other. And they were like, this guy doesn't speak English. I'm so sorry. How many did you order? What about these over here? I was like, bro, I don't know.

And then we ended up getting half our hot dogs. I got no knish. I overpaid. And there was a hair in it. There was a hair in it. There was a hair in it. I mean, that was probably the worst part of the story. Yeah.

And actually, the guy was so scared because he was getting yelled at, the guy who didn't speak any English. Sure, sure. It was very good. As he was making the chili cheese dog, he was just lumping the chili and the cheese onto the dog. So it was just lumping the chili and the cheese onto the dog, so it was just covered in it and apparently also hair. So I came back.

Feidelberg examined his and found the hair. I choose not to do things like that. I just eat. Because if you examine something like a New York City hot dog, you're going to find something every single time. If you look into your Chinese food, you're going to find something every single time. Unless it's at Calhoun.

Fine. Everywhere else, it's probably going to be gross. So I just scarfed down six hot dogs. And then the day game dogs get here at 1245. Yeah. So now there's 100 more hot dogs staring me in the face while I have 15 minutes to spare before I go on the air. Did you eat more? No, but I did have a Hershey bar.

They brought Hershey bars? No, there's just Hershey bars. Oh. Because Ebony got fucking high and ordered snacks again. That's what she does. When Ebony's high, she orders full-size candy bars, Pop-Tarts, full-size cinnamon buns and muffins. She orders my Greek yogurt, though, so that's exciting.

Oh, good. I'm happy for you. When I walk in there and I see fucking Kit Kats staring me in the face, I can't control myself. I need Ebony to stop smoking weed. Wait, they're already playing the Yankee game? Yep. Oh, there's no ring ceremony?

Hmm. That's weird. They must have missed it. Do you think that maybe they just, maybe, oh, I know what it is. They've won so many that they were like, oh, we'll just keep this one on the low. Yeah. Yeah, no, that would make sense. Robbie Cano.

Yeah! Robbie Cano! Don't you know! Let's go Mets! Wow! I did not see that coming. What's the over-under of the amount of games this season that you're going to be able to show this excitement? Seven and a half.

No, I give it until Mother's Day every year. Greet the Mets. Bring the kiddies. Bring your wife. Guaranteed. I don't know if I've ever seen you this happy. I don't know if I've ever seen Robbie Cano hit a fucking home run to dead center

and his first at-bat with the New York Mets off of Max Scherzer. You know that Kevin's in a good mood when he says the words, right? Usually he'll be like, step right up and fuck yourself. Yeah, baby. I mean, this is a genuine smile he has on his face. Absolutely. See, this is where there's a light. There's a

fucking, there's a little bit of light at the end of this tunnel here. Maybe Cano and Conforto could be a nice little one-two punch. Maybe they're in the hunt enough that that little sexpot Brody Van Wageningen decides to make a move with the break. Maybe we can actually upgrade. Maybe Pete Alonso, Pete Kong

is going to swing that stick. He was my pick for NL Rookie of the Year on Starring Night. Made the team. He was very cocky about it. Tweeted out a video of himself photoshopped onto King Kong's body climbing the Empire State Building, smashing helicopters. Maybe that fucking big donkey dick is going to take the city by storm.

Meanwhile, we still got Jake DeGrom ready to take the bump, take the mound. I'm just saying. I mean, things could happen. Things could go good. Things could happen. Get your DeGoat shirts right now.

Oh, buddy. Conforto. Yeah, I could have used, you know. Imagine if Conforto just gets tossed to just take away all the goodwill that Cano just built up from Mitzvahs. Michael Conforto, man. I mean, people forget my man had two home runs in the World Series. Yeah, he did.

It was a time. He's a special player. Well, you know, the jury's out. I think we need to find out this year if he's special or not. I think this is a very, very big year for him. It is a big year for him because he's coming off a major injury that at the time people were like, I don't even know if you can come back from this period. And if there's any team that can botch an injury, it's the New York Mets.

I mean, they botched him from the jump. Up, down from the minors. Up, down from the minors. Up, down from the DL. The Mets don't know how to manage any of their talent. But it's a new regime, Jared. It is. It's a new day. It's a new era.

It's a new era in Queens. The sun is out. Everybody all aboard the bandwagon. Oh, yeah. That should be a shirt, actually. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking about it. He's sexy as shit, too.

So maybe a picture of him and the bandwagon. Let's go. Sandy from Oakland. It's opening day. What do you got? Sandy. Going once. Yeah, what's up, baby?

Okay. So I wanted to call in yesterday, but I had to run. So I have something for all three of you guys. First of all, Casey, your Whataburger recommendation. I don't understand how you skipped over the honey butter chicken biscuit. I'm not a fan of it. I'm not a fan of it. And I know.

Oh, my God. That's so. I know. I know. But I also hate sweet tea. So, like, I'm not a great Whataburger representative when it comes to that. But the taquitos, I could literally swim in a bathtub full of them. Yes, those are good.

So are the patty melts. For Kevin, from an A's fan to a Mets fan, keep representing the small market team and the big market. I hate all the Giants fans out here. For Jared, you said you're coming to town next week for, I guess, the Red Sox-A's game, right? Yes, sir. Right on.

You're a cannabis-friendly guy, right? Oh, yeah, big time. Okay. My company has the largest permitted indoor grow in the state of California. We're right across the street from the Coliseum. If you have any time, love to host you and give you a tour. Hell, yeah. Definitely down for that.

Actually, get up with Dallas because Dallas will definitely be the guy that would probably do backflips or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sure. Dallas already has us all lined up. Yeah. Let's go to Matt from North Carolina. What do you got on baseball?

Yeah, KFC, I just wanted to ask you, what's the money bet on which month you're going to have to officially consult the season for the Mets this year? The over-under is the same as always. It's Mother's Day. But the over-under of how excited you were, that was more my question. Not when you're canceling the season, counseling the season. When you're actually like, the way you just reacted to that home run, I want to know how many games I can expect that okay so let's we'll base it off last year

when they were 11 and 1 there was 12 games of excitement and i actually didn't even really let myself get excited last year but i'm gonna allow myself to get excited this year all right so 11 and a half yeah 11 and a half let's go 11 and a half yeah we'll see if i can make it to 12 games of excitement but mother's day is always the barometer for, they always end up playing the Brewers around Mother's Day, and the Brewers will go back to back to back on them in a very crucial moment, and it is just, in hindsight, well, in hindsight for others, for me in real time, I always realize the season's absolutely over right then and there.

That's okay. Hey, it's different this year. I think it is. It is different this year. I think it is. You can look back and be like, hey, remember that time that Robinson Cano hit a home run in the first inning against Max Scherzer on opening day? I feel like it. It's different. I feel like it's at least

a little different. You still have to win the game, though. You still have to win many games. That's one day at a time. I mean, somebody said to me, hey, it's that time of year again where we get all excited and we do this, that, and the other thing and And we win somewhere between 76 and 86 games. It's like, yep, pretty much.

We can boil down the next seven months to this. You guys had, like, the best record in baseball for, like, the first two weeks of the season, right? Yeah, Jared. I mean, it could happen again. Just maybe a little bit. Just trying to extend it a little bit longer next time. Don't worry about it, Kevin. Hey, listen.

It's opening day. It's a clean slate. You've had six hot dogs, some Hershey. You know what's scary? I have had six hot dogs and two Hershey bars, and it didn't even phase me. Usually, I'd be like, I feel like shit. Nothing. Nothing?

I feel like I could do six more and two more. You're just excited. I guess so. I'm just running on adrenaline right now. I want to try to eat one of these hot dogs, but now that you've talked about hair and stuff in it, and I'm already not feeling my best. Well, that was a different order. That was a different order.

I know, but now I was already not feeling my best wanting to eat, and now you're talking about hair in your food, and I'm just like, I'm kind of out on this. Well, just wait until Jared starts talking about hotel rooms, then you'll really be out. No, no. Actually, I'll be in one this weekend. Oh, boy. Can we not? Maybe do a Periscope? Can we just not? Yeah, on Saturday, and I'll be starts talking about hotel rooms. Then you'll really be out. No, no. Actually, I'll be in one this weekend. Oh, boy. Can we not? Maybe do a Periscope?

Can we just not? Yeah, on Saturday. And I'll be there for a few nights. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I'm still not feeling stable. Flyback Friday. It's a lot of scenes. From throwing up.

It's a lot of scenes. So, can we not? Probably like five nights. Five nights? Hold that. Jared, it's baseball. Six nights? It's baseball season.

Like, during the offseason, I understand when you start talking about these kind of things because you don't have anything else to talk about. But it's baseball season now. Casey's like, let's talk about fucking exit velocity. I would rather hear Jared talk about baseball in Spanish for the next two hours and hear five seconds of his hotel room stories. Oh, don't worry about it. I don't want to hear any about that.

I'm out. I'm not here for it. Somebody just tweeted me a screenshot of Yankee fans in the stands in the Bronx, and guess what they all look like? A bunch of fucking dumb goombas. I can't wait for yet another season. Actually, I'm going to go out right now, and I'm going to

give out a little retweet of my finest work ever. It's my pinned tweet for eternity. Yeah. My magnum opus of all of the Yankee fans who are just the scales of society. I went to go get lunch before the show started. This Yankee fan walked by, and he was like, it's the Yanks year. And I was like, is it?

And he was like, probably not. Probably not. Yeah. That's the thing. I see Hubs, that little weasel running around with his stupid Game of Thrones shirt take back the east how fucking lame is that

I like the Game of Thrones aspect to it but it's so lame for the Yankees to be like we need to get back to the top when you were at the top for a hundred straight years you shouldn't be set like take back the east but I just am so jaded on how much I love Game of Thrones right now.

You could put out literally the most garbage shirt of all time, but if it's Game of Thrones theme, I'm like, I'm here for it. Give it all the awards. I feel you on that, but it's just like, guys, have a little bit of pride.

Yeah, they... When is the last time that they won the division? It has been... 2012. Really? Long time. How many of the Reds the division? It has been 2012. Really? How many of the Reds? Really?

We won three straight, yeah. And then what? Did the Orioles snuck in there? Yeah, the Rays a little bit. Boy. The Blue Jays had a low run there. The Mighty have fallen. Literally everyone but the Yankees.

Huh. Interesting. Yeah. I would say I'm probably without looking that everyone has won a division title. The Yankees are probably the last AL East team to win one. Uh-oh. No, there you go. The TV is getting all fucked up.

Here's a question for you. Yeah. A friend of mine over at WFAN, Greg Giannotti, he took over for Craig Carton. He's on Boomer and Geo. He's a Mets fan. He went to Yankee Stadium opening day today. Okay. Instead of watching the Mets game.

Yep. Your thoughts? Now he's there kind of representing WFAN. Kind of technically a workouting. Also sounds like he probably could have just not done it if he didn't really watch it. Wait, so he's a Mets fan that went to go see the Yankees opening? Because the Yankees are home and they're in the Bronx, he went there, but the Mets are also on at 1,

so he's not really seeing the Mets opening day. Is he on the air or is he in the crowd? I don't think he's on the air, but I don't know if he's in the crowd or if he's in the media section or whatever. He can't do it, right? You can go, but you have to be somewhere where you can still watch the Mets.

Yeah, absolutely, right? Even that, I don't know. I mean, I have a steadfast rule. I just don't go to Yankee Stadium. I went to the Pop Punk show, the first one that they did, but I still watched the Red Sox on my phone the whole time. It was game 138 of 162. Completely meaningless.

You're up like 10 games, probably. I have a rule that I don't go to Yankee Stadium. I went once. Ever? Did't go to Yankee Stadium. I went once. Ever? Did you go to the new one? You've only been to Yankee Stadium one time. Yeah. Your entire life.

Yeah. That's crazy to me. Right? Once. I mean, I understand. It makes sense, but that's just. Maybe twice. I definitely went once with my ex.

She was a Yankee fan at that point. You do anything for love. I think I went once in college, like my my freshman year when I was trying to make friends. And, like, everybody was a Yankee fan. And I was like, all right, I want to have friends in college. So I'm going to go with these guys. I think I went. I've gone to stands a couple times.

But I have, like, a fucking steadfast rule that, like, why would I go there? Why would I go to someplace that i absolutely fucking hate somebody was like i remember my buddy had tickets to josh beckett versus randy johnson yankees red socks they're like come on you're a baseball fan yeah i was like uh i don't want to be surrounded by 50 000 of you fucking losers yeah why would i do that that was you don't want me there you know yeah like you don't want me there i don't want to be there i'm not going to this dumb ass stadium i don't see the problem with that. At least to check out the new one, I would say.

Did you do a bar stool at the ballpark at Yankee Stadium at the Yankees, or did I make that up? We definitely did one at City Field. I remember that one, yeah. They might have done one, but I didn't go to it in the Bronx. I wouldn't do that. Speaking of Barcelona Ballpark, next Saturday is the opening, the first event. We have one every single month of the season.

We're opening up against the Nats at home Saturday, April 6th. It's a 1-10 start. The beer starts one hour prior to first pitch. So go to Mets.com slash Barstool, and you can get any tickets to any of the outings. I'm going to be at almost all of them this year. In years gone by, I haven't been able to make it. But we're going to try to do, probably not for this first one because there's just not enough time left, but we're hoping to get Budweiser involved, and we're going to do a a tailgate slash live show in the parking lot to start just like a quick 20,

30 minute podcast, hang out in the parking lot. Then when the beer special starts, we head on in. It's the best deal in all sports. I think the tickets are 90 bucks. You get a ticket, a free meal and free beer all game long.

It's, it's, I think it's like the most fun. It sounds amazing. Barstool event that we do. I, every year I go down to sales. I'm like, just so you know, we're going to have like six events

that sell anywhere between like 300 and 500 tickets. And everybody's going to come out, and everybody loves it. I don't know if you guys want to get involved in this at all. Maybe make some money off it. I think it's one of the better events that we do completely. So, Mets.com slash Barstool. Anthony from Brooklyn. Hey, Tony from Brooklyn. What do you got on the Mets.com slash Barstool. Anthony from Brooklyn. Hey, Tony from Brooklyn.

What do you got on the Mets, baby? Kevin, I'm here. I'm offering the peace treaty for the call as a Yankee fan. I don't know if, you know, frankly. However, I'm also the guy that set up that little wine conversation with you and Christina Shulman. So, it does take a village to help. All right. Okay. So, right now. Wait, wait take a village to help. All right. Okay.

So right now, wait, wait, wait. Let me just say this. Okay. You seem peaceful. Oh, shit. Did I catch it? Okay, go. There we go.

Sounds like a nice guy. Okay, so you sound like a nice guy. You don't sound like too much of a goomba. You did help me out with Christina Shulman, but you are a Yankee fan. Right now, I kind of feel like it's a wash, and I don't know where to go, so I'm going to ask you this. Do you wear your jersey with a couple buttons on button with a backwards hat

and a fucking Italian horn chain around your neck? Kevin, I can't begin to describe how much that is not me. Right now I'm in a Yankee hat. You don't sound like that. Okay. I don't think I've worn a chain since Rob has stopped wearing the Dragon chain in middle school. All right. I'll put it this way.

I can tolerate you, so go ahead. I appreciate that. So with that being said, I'm in the bottom of the first inning already, and I'm already tired of Michael Kay's broadcast. One thing Mets fans have is the ultimate trump card on broadcasters. So since you have the— State Warriors staff of it, because you can choose between either the radio goat Howie Rose and not Lewin anymore, but Randazzo, or the Cohen-Darling-Keith trio,

which one do you choose? Because I just got to listen to everything on mute. Frankly, I'm streaming CCK during a Yankee game, which almost feels like blasphemy. That's, first of all, thank you for that. Second of all, that's a great question. Third of all, I'll say this. It's a little bit sad.

I have enough perspective and self-awareness to admit this. It's a little bit sad how basically the thing that Mets fans get, like, the cockiest about is our broadcast like it's never really an on the field product it's always how good our our tv and radio broadcast is but have you have you dabbled a lot in SNY now that you live here no I don't watch tv at all like I just sit in my apartment in silence a lot you watch Nesson uh not New York I don't but like if the Red Sox aren't on you won't pop on a New York baseball game? No.

I'll watch, but I don't get the broadcast. I'll watch it on MLB TV, and they don't show the broadcast. Oh, you should put it on TV if you're here. I guess. But if I have cable, I'll put on MLB Network on one of them, and then I'll just distribute the games or whatever. You can't stream Nesson? I think you can, yeah.

Because I know you can watch Celtics, NBC Sports Boston broadcasts on the computer. The trio of Gary Cullen, Keith Hernandez, and Ron Darling, like I said, I know it's sad how much we brag about it, but they really are absolutely fucking stellar. Ron Darling is not good in the playoffs on TBS. When he does a national broadcast, he's really not good. As a Mets guy, though, he's unreal. Keith is like the Charles Barkley of baseball.

He's unreal. And then Gary Cohen's like the technical play-by-play guy. And then the radio broadcast is how he rose. Shout-out to Alyssa Rose. She's a friend of the program. Her father. I don't know. They're asking me to choose between those two.

I like listening to baseball games on the radio. You do that, Jared? I do too, yeah. I feel like I – Because they have to describe what they're seeing. Yeah. I mean, I think even listening to football on the radio can be – Really?

See, I like baseball because it's such a slow sport of stop and go. I guess it's stop and go with football. But when the action is going, like Kevin Harlan does it so well, but it's almost to me it's like a joke how much he's like – Yeah, that's true. It's like a joke how much he's like down to the down to the five and on the left side of the screen you just have to auctioneer whereas baseball like that's why i think vin scully is so revered because you get to like storytell and kind of like you're like it's like poetry almost you're like painting the picture and you're doing it so like you know uh majestically if you do it if you do it well at

least so i think there's something about listening on on the radio where you hear the sounds of the ballpark. Yeah, I love that. I used to, when I was living in Hoboken, we had a backyard, and I would just grab a lawn chair, I would go outside with my beer, and I would just sit there like an old man with a little transistor radio.

The TV was available, it was right in there, but sometimes I'd rather just sit in the sun, listen to a game, and soak it in. There's nothing wrong with that. That's some loser baseball shit. You've got to be a loser baseball fan. You have to be a baseball fan. You don't have to be a loser baseball fan.

If you're a baseball fan, I'm sure you can very much appreciate... But don't you think that there's an inherent loserness to us? I feel like baseball fans are just inherently kind of nerdy. That's fair, but I think there's a difference between nerdy and loser. Okay, fine. But you know what I'm saying then. Yeah. Semantics,

but there's something to the fact that we're so obsessed with this and we nerd out over stats and we freak out over like... than the people that fucking get all geeked up for NFL Sunday. I think it's just because there's so many more games.

Yeah, like our sport is just more times a week than yours. But there's also many more games. Yeah, like our sport is just more times a week than yours. But there's also way. That fucking dumb boom bots, Luke Voigt, with the worst haircut you've ever seen in your life with a three-run yak job. I feel like because baseball is so much slower, like you were saying,

like being entertaining in a broadcast booth, whether it's TV or radio, is a lot harder. Yeah, you've got to actually be entertaining. Yeah, because it's like football and basketball moves so fast yeah especially basketball um and hockey too but with baseball there's so much time where there could be dead air you're almost like podcasting when you do a baseball broadcast you got to be able to talk and explain and you have to let it breathe too because like if you watch a baseball game and somebody's talking the entire fucking time it's like like, can you stop? Can you let it breathe?

Can you be entertaining but still hear the sounds of the ballpark and stuff like that? But I think that that's why baseball fans, they're nerdier because there's more time to process stuff like that. More debate to be had. We'll hit a break right here, but I've written this blog several times. I've had this argument basically my whole career here. I think baseball is the most important sport in the world. Agree.

And I think that football fans get very bent out of shape when I say that. Oh, God. Casey Smith is looking at me. I mean, I can't. Well, we come back. Talk shit about baseball on opening day. Well, you're going to have to. You're going to have to try.

After the break, more CCK. Postmates, the most important company on the planet Earth. That's a fact. Forget about Tesla. Forget about Amazon. It's all about Postmates. You know what they are? They're the lazy man's company.

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It's a wonderful song. It goes by the name of Start Spreading the News. It's a Boston classic. I was just about to jump on the mic and say I dedicate this tune, this ballad, to my good mate, Jared Karoff. He's not listening to you. That's the problem. I can't hear you. I said I dedicate this ballad to my good mate, Jared Karab. He's not listening to you. That's the problem. I said I dedicate this ballad to my good mate Jared Karab.

Thank you, Zaha. Are you not wearing headphones anymore because of your hair? Yeah, it's fucking awesome. What, your hair is fucking awesome? Yeah, your hair looks good, but why don't you pull it to the back like they do so you can hear Zaha. Just put your fucking headphones on. Every time I put my headphones on, I walk out there and YP's like,

Turn to the side for a second. Turn to the side. What's that? Just set it up. Like, you know, you just fucking put your headphones on.

Yeah, because you miss Zah's quips and he's always gassing you up back there and you can't hear it. That's right. You just sit here and leave him hanging.

You just don't even hear it. Sorry, Zah. I love you. I'll put him on for Zah. Yeah, see? And just set it up really high. There you go. You're fine.

His hair does look good today. Yeah, it? And just set it up really high. There you go. You're fine. His hair does look good today. Yeah, it looks great. So, before the break, I said baseball's the most important sport in the world. Or America. I don't care about the rest of the world. Oh, see, that was what your saving grace to me was going to be. Right. Well, yes.

If you do open it up to the world, obviously baseball. Yeah, that's what I'm like, okay. Well, yeah. I mean, it do open it up to the world, obviously. Yeah, that's what I'm like, okay. Just a ridiculous haircut. I mean, it's the worst haircut in the world. He looks like something straight out of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He looks like a bad guy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Do you go into the barbershop or salon or whatever and say, give me the villain haircut?

Give me the complete asshole haircut? What is that? Can someone get a picture of the screen? I mean, that is the worst haircut I have ever seen. Is it? It looks like they stopped halfway. It looks like he was going to get his head shaved, and then they're like, oh, wait a minute. Let's put a hard part here.

I left the fucking oven on. I got to run home. And then he stops in the middle of his haircut. He gets that line down the middle. It's like half a mohawk, half a side part, half a shaved head. It is the worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. The hard part, too, you would think, and just upkeeping that is a pain in the ass. Just because it's hair.

I mean, you would have to get a haircut like every day. Yeah. It's crazy bad. One of the worst I've ever seen. But I'm sure they have a barber in the class. Well, yeah. I'm surprised the Yankees let him have that stupid fucking haircut with all their other dumb rules. Well, George Steinbrenner's dead.

No beards, no long hair, and no assholes. Yeah. Yes, baseball internationally trumps almost everything. Baseball, basketball is creeping up on it,

obviously. But football, not even close. But whatever. America's the only country that matters. That's true. And so, even still,

I think there's a reason why it's America's pastime. I think even despite how much the game of football has grown with gambling and fantasy sports and everything else, I still think that baseball's more important. That's because you are a baseball fan. Well, yeah. I mean, obviously. Exactly. The other thing, too, is that baseball's not going to benefit from like gambling being legal. No.

But that is my point, is that I think and I write this blog always comes up every year. Pretty much every October, there is a game that's an instant classic of sorts. This year, it was that Red Sox game. That was how many innings? 18. And then the year prior was the Dodgers. I can't believe that was last season. It feels like it just happened. I know. That feels like that prior was the Dodgers. I can't believe that was last season. It feels like it just happened.

I know. That feels like that game was two weeks ago. Two months ago, I know. The Dodgers, who was it? Dodgers, who was in the series? It was the... They had like an instant classic. Yeah.

And then every year there's been like an instant classic extra innings game. There was the one that was like a pitcher's duel up until like the eighth, but then there was like back-to-back-to-back home back to back home runs back and forth slugfest and the world goes absolutely crazy for it. And in those moments, I, that's when I always write this same blog where I think that football popularity is like football culture. I think it's like you go to the bar on Sunday, everybody wears their own jerseys because your fans from all over the place. You have a bar with 30 TVs on, every game's on, you're checking your fantasy team, you're checking your bets,

you're eating your buffalo wings, and it's one day a week, and it almost becomes like a party atmosphere and like a social thing, which I fucking love. But, if you want to talk about just the sport, I feel like baseball, the records are hallowed, people take it so much.

And for better or worse, you might not like this, but the way that if you get caught taking steroids in baseball, you're basically like an outcast. Yeah. Scarlet letter forever. It definitely has more of the purist fans, I would say. But I can say, like if I say 56, you know that it's Joe DiMaggio's hitting streak.

If I say 400, you know that that's the batting average. If you're a baseball person. I think across the board, records in general mean so much more than baseball. I would agree with that. I don't know what the – what's the touchdowns record? I have no idea. What's the passing yards record? What's the –

Like the actual numbers. You might know like Sacks' record was like 22 and a half. You might know like who set those records, but you might not automatically know all the numbers. Like I didn't – until Drew Brees set the record this year like i didn't i wasn't even thinking about it you know like records you know drew brees did it but you don't necessarily know right off the top that number like you know tom brady has different records as well obviously a lot of postseason records but you don't maybe not know those numbers as a whole as a football fan i do think baseball

records are more hallowed but i also think it's because baseball if you're a football fan. I do think baseball records are more hallowed, but I also think it's because baseball, if you're a true fan of the sport, you're so purist and elitist with it that you don't. It's true. I don't know. It is true. There are a lot of baseball elitist fans. Probably more so than any other sports. You watching this?

What? OK, never mind. I thought you're going to. I was. I thought like the Yankees like promo for like their entire season was all against the Red Sox, but they were promoing the Red Sox. The actual series. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's a lot more. They definitely are elitist, but I also think that there's just something to the purist part of it that's a little more the point. That's exactly what it is. I'll sit around and I'll argue the DH rule. It's life and death because I think we're talking about compromising the integrity of this fucking sport. There's something about it to me that, like, it's been around for, like, I don't know. Baseball's been around for, like, 600, 700 years.

And it's, like, it's basically stayed the same. The mound's up and down. The fence is in and out. The balls change. Some of the rules change. But the fact that in, like like 1898 you were hitting ground balls and it was a bang bang play at first base and it's the same thing in 2019

I don't even understand how that happens there's something about the geometry of it and the fucking mechanics of it, and you're not beating the shit out of each other so people, like things don't change from a safety standpoint, right? yeah, you don't need to change the rules height doesn't change, like people being able to dunk.

Like, all those different things that it comes down to. Obviously, people get stronger and hit more home runs. The way, like, you look at basketball, everybody can hit three-pointers. It's like the game's getting strange. Whereas, I don't know, I guess everybody, you know, as players are getting faster, I guess so arm strength is getting better.

So it's still, like, the 90-foot bases are still perfect. And as pitchers are getting stronger, you know, bats are getting faster i guess so arm strength is getting better so it's still like the 90 foot bases are still perfect and as pitchers are getting stronger you know bats are getting faster so you're still seeing home runs and i i just don't understand how the game has remained that much unchanged over the course of like 120 years but there's just something to the longevity of it the history of it and the like uh the cerebral kind of battle you know what i mean like there like, you know, I'm sitting fastball and you know it's coming. And, you know, the whole there's no game clock, so it's just me versus you. There's a lot of shit to it that I think is like the purest form of competition. Whereas football I think is like big hits. To break it down to, you know, I know there's certainly, you look at Jerry Thornton,

he breaks down a football game like it's a battlefield, like it's war. But, you know, I think it's like people want to see someone get crushed going over the middle. People want to see Gronk spike it. They want to see a lot of offense. Odell Beckham catches. And, you know, those are all fun. I like that shit, too.

But you want to see home runs. It's the same idea. It's the same idea. I do feel like with baseball that it is one of those sports where you don't have to be a huge fan of the two teams playing or of the sport and going to a baseball game is probably the most – I think that's the most normal. If you don't like football, you're not just going to go hang out at a football game. But the flip side is that I'll watch TV. I'll do the opposite.

I'm not going to watch the Padres versus the Diamondbacks, but I'll sit down and watch an NFL Sunday game. I think it also depends on the pitcher. Yeah, that's true. If you have two stud pitchers going against each other and they're two shit teams, I'll still watch that game. That's because you love baseball so much. No, I'm saying like- But if you have two Cy Young type of candidates up against each other, it doesn't matter who's playing. You could be like a casual baseball fan.

And going to the game is a completely different experience. If the Mets and Nationals sucked, I would still watch this game because it's Scherzer to Grom. I think going to football games sucks. I do too. I love the tailgate, but actually being in there for the game, the amount of stop and go that you don't realize when you're watching TV is a terrible product live. It is the anti-hockey football is. But that's where I think, again, the culture around it.

People want season tickets because they want to go tailgate. And they want to be at a Sunday to party and once a week and it's easy you know that's the thing it's easy to be a football fan if you're really going to be a baseball fan and you're going to watch like over a hundred something games someone like jared's watching literally like 162 it's you know you've got to like commit to it which is why i think and i i enjoy the sport of baseball i'm not a diehard fan i love going to games whatever else but i think that's why it's difficult every time you get into the argument and it changes every year but it gets worse and worse

it's like millennials that don't give a fuck about baseball can't tune in all of it they don't want to sit and watch a four plus hour game whatever so that's where when they say quote baseball is dying which obviously baseball is not dying but that's where the argument comes into it's like once a week you're watching your football team or on a saturday and sunday you might be watching your college football team and your nfl team basketball half the games of the season whereas this it is so slow sometimes yeah but if you don't love the sport and you're not a purist you don't want to watch it yeah they you hear baseball's dying you hear pace of play and all these dumb like catchphrases but there's some truth to it and i and i do think that like if i was baseball i wouldn't i don't know i keep thinking sometimes if i was like the commissioner i would almost be

like well we're gonna just punt on those those fans like we're never we're never gonna get them so why don't we just focus in on the fans that we do know like the sport but i guess that is how you end up being stubborn how you end up dying because when those kids grow up and they don't we just focus in on the fans that we do know like the sport? But I guess that is how you end up being stubborn and how you end up dying because when those kids grow up and they don't like it and they don't teach their kids it, then all of a sudden you're fucked. So you do have to try to make an attempt. But I think the idea of like they shaved like four seconds off of commercial breaks. Yeah.

I mean, that doesn't fucking matter. But it does. It does. I think it's like, you know, but you think about all the commercial breaks in a baseball game between the what is it a couple minutes yeah and it's like but that's the thing is that you're not going to tell a a 25 year old kid to be like all right well you know baseball the average time is three hours and 17 minutes but now it's three hours and 12 minutes like that's the average you interested now it's like five minutes isn't changing anything nothing

but like you're never gonna get baseball games down to where it's like what's the number that's the average you interested now it's like five minutes isn't changing anything nothing but like you're never gonna get baseball games down to where it's like what's the number that's enticing to a younger generation like they're not gonna give a fuck like just think about like oh it's not the number of football's the same thing and football has less live action than baseball you know they always break it down like there's actually 11 minutes of play but it's the kind of but it's there's a big hit and there's a fucking fancy catch and people like violence, so it's all good. But I mean, I still think the most,

I think the most exciting play in sports is a home run. Yeah. Because you can, I mean, you can have a fancy catch and you're down fucking, you know,

like 21 points. A home run is still, I mean, but you could say, you know, you could get blown out of it. Yeah, it depends on the score. But I think, but it's the most gawk at A home run is still... It depends on the score. But it's the most

impactful single play in sports. The only thing in sports where you can put it on the board with one play that is monumental. Basketball, obviously, you score all the time. But a basket here or there doesn't matter. It's a low-scoring sport where, boom,

all of a sudden you can put 1, 2, three, four on the board in one shot, and you don't know when it's coming, and when it does, it's still like everyone gawks at it. Like they're in awe of a big fly ball. Right. And I think in football, you know, even if the team that scores a touchdown is down a million points and it's like an insane passing catch,

you still are like, holy shit, that was really good. But if you're down by three touchdowns, it's like a just insane passing catch you still are like holy shit that was really good but if you're down by three touchdowns it's like okay great it might be a highlight reel right but it's like that was really cool and as a football like huge football fan you appreciate what just happened but it's not really changing the game even if you're down by 10 runs in baseball everybody's gonna stop whoa and revere a home run yeah i mean even if it doesn't change the score very much chicks dig the long ball was an unbelievable, iconic commercial for a reason.

Although I do hate when people pimp out home runs when they're down by like 9, 10. It's like, great, you scored one run. Congrats. You know what? I think baseball, rather than worrying about how many seconds are shaved off of a commercial break

or how many pitch clock, how many seconds between pitches, all that shit. What they should be doing. My man, Brody. Brody. I'm in. I mean, obviously, if you can't tell, I've shed all my skepticism and I've just turned my heart over to Brody Van Wagen and he's probably just going to fuck me. But what I would do to save baseball, it's not about those little tweaks here and there. Baseball needs more Javi Baez's.

They need more Bryce Harper's. What they should be doing is almost somehow getting into the little league level and the lower levels and teaching coaches to create fucking pimps. Oh, no. I love when they pimp stuff out. Bat flips and all that. Totally in on that. I'm talking about when you're down by so long. Oh, no. I love when they pimp stuff out. Bat flips and all that, totally in on that. I'm talking about when you're down by so long. No, I get that. It's like when somebody has a monster dunk,

and they're running down the court, pumping their own chest up, and you're like, dude, you're down by 40. I love people pimping home runs, but if you're down by a whole, whole bunch, and you score one run, don't pimp the home run. Just run the fucking game. If everybody played that way way it would be incredible

pimping home runs is all situational because you know you could pimp like say you should always be allowed to pimp a home run if the game is close and or you're winning sure always but it's looking bad I don't care if you if you're down nine to one and it's like May 17th and it's like yeah we we took the first two games of the series maybe

we're getting smoked in this game but then you hit a ball over the fucking light tower i don't care if you look at wild impressive feet yeah like and honestly that's part of you know uh odell beckham while yes i mean he produces like a motherfucker he became who he was because of that catch that one-handed catch like defined him and then he backed it up with a lot more play but that moment became a jordan silhouette it became a you know where were you when type of moment if everybody in baseball could have those type of moments i think the sport would become quote-unquote cool again if everybody was like javi baez flashing the leather and cocky on the base paths and pimping home runs and if everybody was like Javi Baez flashing the leather and cocky on the base paths and pimping

home runs and if everybody was you know uh staring each other down from the mound every time there was a strikeout as much as as much as I need to see my man Thor produce on an everyday level the way he gets cocky or like Batista bat flips like give me those all the time like that kind of that is where baseball becomes cool again that is where young kids will be like, I want to do that. They want to be Odell Beckham because that's fucking awesome. Yeah. If everyone in baseball showed you how to be cool, it's not about the pace of play and shit. Because like I said, football is just as much stop and go and just as much of a time commitment.

Well, right. But it's not as fast-paced when the action is happening. It's cool to be doing it, whereas people are not. Like, what's the fastest sport? It's hockey. What's the least popular sport? Hockey. It's true.

I don't necessarily—the pace of play, yes. I think it's just all of the stop and go in baseball where people are just like, it doesn't feel as exciting to watch, even if it's the less— But it's stop and go in football. Well, right, but in the moments when it's actually being played really there's a whole lot more going on how many times is it just like you know first and ten you run the ball up the middle for a two-yard gain that's not exciting i mean but i see i could watch that just because that's my favorite sport over and over but i don't think a casual sports fan is going to tune into a random football game for the same reason i don't

think a casual sports fan is going to tune into a random baseball game they don't give a fuck to sit there and watch it you're more you're more likely to watch a random football game because... There's not that many of them. Yeah, there's not that many of them. Fantasy, gambling, all those reasons. Baseball is not a gambling sport. You have to like the sport. If you gamble...

You either need to change the culture around baseball or make the actual sport cool. If you're talking about two fans who do not gamble, who do not put money on anything, who don't play fantasy, who don't do – all they want to do is just watch the sport, they're going to tune into football more so maybe just because there's less games. But I still don't think like a random sports fan who just likes to watch sports is going to tune in to like a Bengals game on a Sunday just because it's football, not baseball.

It depends on like the quarterback too. It's like I might watch because I like this particular quarterback. You can watch a specific team, and you can watch an entire series and not see their best picture. I also think that people will tune into that game because it's like you're going to get together with your buddies, or you're going to meet at the bar. The red zone has changed all of that.

All of that's changed. There's not a reason. You're not going to ever be like, let's get together with the guys to watch the Reds game. It's just not quite there. So you either need to be gambling or fantasy around baseball as big as football, or the actual sport in the lines needs to be flashy and sexy and cool. Jacob DeGrom's awesome.

There's no kid out there being like, yo, I want to be like deGrom because he's going to get fucking money and bitches and he's going to be cool. But he needs to be that. That's why I think everyone always talks about Mike Trout. It's like, if Mike Trout was a little cockier, the game would be, people would, you know,

it would change the sport. You can't make those things happen, but that's what's more important to baseball than it is the pace of play and all that kind of you have more opportunities to be flashy in football or basketball just because of the the nature of the sport itself so it's like odell beckham kids want to be odell beckham because he's being flashy in what he's able to do just as a wide receiver in baseball you have the opportunity off the field like a guy like Alex Bregman, you could make him, he is a really cool guy to, I'm sure, younger players. He's like, look, he's obviously

getting paid. He's playing well. He's won a World Series, but by the way, he's also cool off the field. Football players don't have to do that as much. It helps when they have the swag, but the one-handed catches, the Tom Brady's of the world, they don't have to go out and also be cool off the field, but they usually are. I mean, baseball is a game of failure. You know what I mean? More often than not, the vast majority of the time, Karab, as you tune into an at-bat, you're going to see an out. Yes.

You're going to see a pop fly. 70% of the time, a good player is going to fuck up. That's a large percentage of the time that it's not going to be sexy. And that's why you said with football, it's like how many times are you going to turn on an NFL game and all you're going to see is on first and 10 ten or run up the middle you're not going to you might see that sometimes but there's going to be more drama surrounding every play than there is an at-bat and even if you know you might still see a big hit there's a chance that if you don't you're

not going to see something explosive on offense you might see something exactly so like the the opportunity for more action to happen around a single football play is wildly different than a single at- bat let me squeeze one call in here before our break everyone who's on the line hang out for a minute because we'll take your call uh in hour number two first we'll get to little bear give me some baseball love here in the last minute before we head to break all right i'll do this quick um i just tried orange vanilla coke it just tastes like vanilla coke Don't fall into the trap. Okay, good to know. Yeah.

And as for baseball, I mean, all you got to do is listen to James Earl Jones' speech from Field of Dreams. America's been erased and rebuilt. You know, baseball's good the test of time. And it's easy to remind people. There's a reason why it's... Like, there's no four touchdown play at all there's a grand slam you know there's definitely a to baseball

every little play i think means more in the grand scheme of a game and it's just exactly and that that is the big difference to me is that you're waiting on pins and needles at any moment you can hit a home run and it changes the dynamic of the game. There's a lot more that can happen out of nowhere. Let's hit a break. When we come back, we'll continue the debate. Hour number two, CCK.