KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Gambling Ain't Easy

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

Feits and Mush talk about their new series, Making A Gambler. Jared cuncels the Red Sox after 6 minths, KFC cuncels the Jets after 1 week. Sam Darnold has mono. The Mets sweep the Diamondbacks whie CCK is on air. KFC relapses. Mush gives us a glimpse at what it's like to date him.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of the CCK Podcast, brought to you by Manscaped. Support for CCK comes from Manscaped. It's the number one company when it comes to men's below-the-belt grooming. It's 2019. The bush is not back, contrary to what Feidelberg or some stupid feminist blogs will tell you. Everybody, men and women, they got to keep those shit neat. They got to keep it clean. They got to keep it hygienic. They got to keep it smooth and looking sexy. And that's what Manscaped offers. Precision engineered tools for your family jewels.

Now, you know, you don't have to necessarily go bald eagle with it. You want to have something down there. You have the clipper. If you want to go clean shaven, they give you the straight blade razor. It's not also necessarily just about how you get rid of the hair. It's about how you treat yourself down there. And they've got the anti-ball chafing deodorant. They have the skin save technology to prevent any sort of razor bumps or bleeding. They keep it fresh-smelling.

They keep it soft, smooth, the whole nine. Now, listen, when a girl goes down there, it's pretty rare, right? A guy or a girl goes down there, and you want to make sure they want to come back for more. You want to make sure you don't scare them off want to make sure that uh you know you're not all sweaty and gross and weird and overgrown over overgrown and it looks like you're going into a forest down there nobody wants to come back so make sure uh you manscape at manscaped.com promo code kfc 20 off plus free shipping your balls will thank you and the girls will thank you. 20% off free shipping when you use the code KFC at manscaped.com. Today on CCK, this week was a big one.

Sports-wise, we are in a very sweet spot. Big time of year right now. We got college football's back. The NFL is back. Playoff baseball is really heating up. about to embark on a postseason journey. So I'd argue this is the best sports time of the year. Now, some might tell you April. You got baseball.

You've got basketball, hockey, and've got like the NCAA tournament wrapping up early April maybe some would even say March for the for the uh for the rest of the tournament um I I feel like divisional round weekend and wildcard weekend in NFL football is a big one that gets mentioned a lot big weekend of sports uh but for me right now the it's like the newness of football returning when everyone because because by the time right now everybody's excited i mean the jets are already fucking out of it but for the rest of the league everyone's still pumped you don't know if you're good or you're bad yet everyone's got a clean slate still baseball is uh is postseason coming around it's like the most intense time,

and you've got baseball and hockey on the horizon. So there's a lot to look forward to, or there's a lot going on before you're even out of it. So to me, that is what used to at least be the appeal, because right now the goddamn Jets are already giving me a fucking aneurysm. Sam Darnold's got mono. C.J. Mosley has got the know, got the messed up groin. Le'Veon Bell, we got to worry about his shoulder. Quincy Anunua's out for the fucking season. So, I mean, I guess the good news is that the goddamn Jets video series is fucking pumping,

but that's the last thing I want in this world. I just want, I want the goddamn Jets to not exist anymore. I want the goddamn Jets to just be called like, hey, the Jets are a good football team that we're going to talk about, but obviously that's not fucking happening uh and the mets i mean lord knows i don't know during during this episode you'll hear us while the mets are in the process of sweeping the diamondbacks and i am just a uh a backwards confused delusional hopeless junkie who has relapsed yet again because my sponsor Clem has not been there for me. So this team might be console-proof. Who knows?

Twice now they should have absolutely been consoled, and they keep coming back for more. And speaking of, we actually got Jerry Karabas, Jerry Downtown, the Rocket, officially declaring it over for the Boston Red Sox. I'll let you hear him do it in his own words. But hearing the Rocket bail on the Red Sox when he officially calls it, he's a month late to the party. But for him to finally recognize it, it's a dark moment for the Red Sox. They got to look inside.

They got to look at themselves in the mirror thinking to themselves, boy, we fucked this up so bad that even the rocket has lost faith in us. So let's get into all the sports from the week. A lot going on at Barstool Sports, bro. It's brought to you by Omax Sleep and Stress Remedy. We got the CBD craze coming together with our friends over at Omax. And what that does is it can help you sleep at night. It can help reduce the stress. And it's been a paradigm shift in our company, in our culture, because, you know, sleep,

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You'll be a better partner, a better parent, a better friend, a better student, a better employee, just a better person. When you get a better night's sleep with Omax Stress and Sleep Remedy. Go to OmaxHealth.com and to the promo code KFC. Get 20% off a one-month supply of the Stress and Sleep Remedy. That's OmaxHealth.com, promo code KFC to get 20% off a one-month supply plus free shipping. We also had Marty Mush join the the show which is always a fucking circus he is uh he's a one-man wrecking crew when it comes to gambling and uh social interactions and romantic interactions he is our alternate who always steps up to the plate when one of us

at cck needs to step out for a little bit. And we heard it all from Marty, Dr. Rat. He's making this series with Feidelberg, making a gambler. We learned more about the rotation of rats. He's dogging. We've got all of Marty Mush's life on deck and all of the weird, you know, Marty-isms and the way he looks at life and the way he philosophizes and everything else. It's brought to you by Noom. Now, getting in shape is not just about losing weight.

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Kevin. You are just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. You are just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing?

You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. How long you been back, man? Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. I see the girls in the club, they're getting wild. What's up, everybody? I know you like that. I don't know. He's dealing with... Kevin's at lunch. Kevin. So it's me and fights. I invited Marty to come in here. He's not here. I don't know where he is.

I don't know where Jared is. It's just one of those days. It's one of those days, fights, that, you know, we're just going to have to sit and you're going to have to be forced to talk to me. I get paid for it, so I'm good. Yeah, you are getting paid at this current moment. That is true. How was your AMA?

It was good. It was about an hour long. Ended at noon. Gaz was the moderator. And every time I was telling people that, they're like, oh, God, he it tough for you i was like oh no no no i was getting paul today i wasn't getting gaz i was getting paul protect the company paul it was good there was like wait so you're outwardly admitting that your your your ama was a farce no i'm saying that he wasn't gonna gaz me like he wasn't gonna purposely let questions through where i would be like he wasn't going to gas me. He wasn't going to purposely let questions through where I would be. He wasn't trying to stir the pot, I guess.

Like what? What would be a question that he wouldn't let through so I can ask it? Like if I would sleep with anybody at Barstool. Would you sleep with anyone at Barstool? I mean, we're not doing this. Although I did get the question of would you date anybody at Barstool? So that one was fun. The only one that he let through that was very gas.

Like was who knows more about football? You were list. And I looked at it. I was like, yes, I mean, come on. Like,

what are you doing? What's the answer? I, I said that I don't know that answer. Turn on your microphone. I said, I don't know that answer because we've never had a head to head. I said,

I would say I probably know more about college. I know she's probably more about NFL, but that if I was in head to head. I said, I would say I probably know more about college. I know she's probably more about NFL, but that if I was in diplomatic, I know I said, if you let me finish, if you, what I also said, nobody would ever sit down and be like,

Hey, who knows more about football, PFT or big cat? I was like, it's just cause it's two girls. Oh, you went the feminism route. The sexist route.

Literally even worse. Oh my God. I would tell you that the feminism route, the sexist route. Literally even worse. Oh, my God. I would tell you that you would. You wouldn't ask a guy this question. Why are you asking a girl? I actually, I mean, yeah, I said if I had to, if I, I mean, I'm in my own brain. I know what I know. I would say it was me.

So I did actually answer it. Okay. All right. I was just very gas-like of him to do that. Casey, I know more about football than Liz Smith. No, that's just not. Let's get that nickname trending. They asked me,

they're like, what's the dumbest thing you've done at Barstow? I was like, oh shit, I've done a lot of dumb things. I was like, probably when I ran on radio and screamed at Liz for no reason. So that one wasn't good. They asked a lot of questions about the two of you, like who my closest friends are. You didn't say us, did you? You guys were on the list

uh you definitely were i said that like despite the way street i guess i was like yeah fuck you you gotta start getting closer with people thank you you're a work acquaintance i said oh yeah that's true you're an asshole i actually i was telling marty people are probably like their their bubbles are being burst because i said uh despite popular belief like i've really not spent a lot of time outside of work with marty other than when we went to orlando like we've never gone out together or anything technically work yeah that's what i'm saying so it went well it went very well a lot of just a lot of very prototypical it's actually's actually kind of fun. I think there's a fear regarding them. But I had fun when I did it.

I guess it was like Kevin and me. And, you know, Kevin had a lot of questions. I really don't have anything you can ask me about that I'm nervous. That's the thing about me and you. We're pretty much open about every little thing about our life. And Kevin is too. Kevin had a... Yeah, he's got a lot more. He's got some a, yeah, he's got a lot more personal scandal.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd actually be interested. I mean, obviously they're moderated. They're moderated twice because like you've got like gas moderated the questions and then they're sent to the control room and then they actually put them up on the screen for you to read.

It actually be interesting if they, if the, when we did these AMAs, if we just got all the questions like right off the top, it'd probably be a whole lot harder to do. But at the same time – I think it would have been the same for me. I know it wasn't the same for me.

I got to see some of the throwaway questions. Yours are mostly like Milton days I feel like. Yeah, it was like older stuff. Blackout tour, Science of the Boys stuff. They were like – I don't know. I'm not very interesting. That was my tagline for the show. I'm not very interesting. That was my tagline for the show. I'm not very interesting.

For sure. Yeah, but again, not to do the feminism thing, but people don't really care who you would sleep with in the office. If they ask you for a list, I'll give you a list. I don't think you can. I don't know pretty much anybody. I think that's pretty problematic. If I'm lonely Tuesday and I'll smash any lady in here if you want a piece.

I hope that quote hits the internet so bad. Who said piece? He said, find me on a lonely Tuesday and I'll smash any lady in here with this piece. No, I said if you want a piece. That was unbelievable. Yeah.

Well, my throat hurts really bad, so that's not great, to be honest with you. But whatever. Marty, how's gambling going? What a sentence to say after that whole thing. Yeah, I know. She said it earlier, too, and I was like, what are you fucking doing here, PC? What do you mean? Do you want people to what?

Are you fucking dumb? Are you kidding me? What do you think everyone's thinking when you say that? That I might have strep throat? No, you you say i have a sore throat not my throat hurts you fucking weirdos no weird this is exactly what everyone's thinking no it's not i got a sore throat it's how people describe this kind of thing not my throat hurts no it's like my head hurts my throat hurts different things way different no one's slapping their rat on your head. Wait, is she actually genuinely lost?

No. No, this has to be an act. You actually don't know what's going on? No, I know exactly what's going on. But I still... I can't believe I can say my own. Never mind. You know what?

Never mind. Holy shit. Oh, I've missed the three of us. Fucking Eddard Stark just stark just bad people in a failed a new headache oh you know what this goes back to they asked me like what like how i feel about cck in comparison everything i do i'm like well everything else i do is very sports oriented this was just a prime example of what's going on cck i can guarantee you this isn't happening on the set of the college football show. No, for sure not.

For sure not. Like Brandon Walker and I are not discussing slanting dicks on people's heads on unnecessary roughness. I can say that with a lot of confidence. Oh, shit. Marty, I'd be interested to see an AMA with you. Yeah, that would be something. I don't know what they'd ask me, though. What are you taking tonight?

I don't know what they'd ask me, though. What are you taking tonight? I don't know what they're going to ask. I mean, they were asking me if you are actually the same person off air, and it's crazy to me that people still think that it's an ad. How about this from Marty today, right? So Marty and I, we had a little meeting this morning because we were doing our show later. And as we're walking to the meeting room, Marty hits me with, I'm wearing white jeans today. Marty goes, oh, you weren't supposed to wear white after Labor Day. And I expected to get called out on that by somebody. I did not expect it to be Martin Mush.

You know that rule? Of course. I've always heard about that. Which, by the way, it's a bullshit rule. Oh, if you follow that rule, you're a fucking loser. It's white pants, right? Yeah, yeah. You can wear white t-shirts.

Yeah, I was going to say. But it's a bullshit rule. If you want to wear white jeans, you should be able to wear white jeans whenever you want. I have some green shit on my ass. I don't know what it is. What? On my pants. What?

Is there anything there? Yeah, it's a lot of green on your ass. I don't know what happened. Did you just sit on a fucking park bench getting painted? No, I don't like park benches. I don't know what exactly. What does that mean? You don't like park benches. I don't know what exactly. What does that mean? You don't like park benches?

Park benches are for losers. Like, I don't. Whoa, that guy looks cool. She looks really. I think she was a bachelorette. Not really. Bachelor. A what?

Bacheless. Yeah, I think she was the bachelorette at some point. That's so cool. I really think I'm really talking to Hank about doing The Bachelor at my house. I really think it's going to happen. Are your parents going to allow that? Yeah, they're going to be there. Are you going to tell them it's happening?

Yeah. It's like a house party, but actually just a multi-week reality show. Hank was like, I would fucking love to direct that. To start drama out of nowhere. Would you have them living there? Yeah, everyone wants to live there. Oh my god. I mean, that would be great. It would be fantastic. It would end up being

the real world, not The Bachelorette. It'd be the real world. I don't know what the real world is. It'd just be a reality television show. It wouldn't be like a dating show. No, what? We wanted to date. I'm dating. I don't know what the real world is. It'd just be a reality television show. It wouldn't be like a dating show. No. What? We wanted to date. I'm dating.

No, I know. But it would end up being a reality. Oh, yeah. It would end up being like. They would always be so mad that they're actually there. Yeah. It would be like. I'd be the fuck out of here. I can't believe I signed up to this.

Yeah. It would end up being just a big party. It would be like you and just a bunch of girls partying all the time. Not like an actual. You wouldn't be taking these girls on dates. You don't take anybody on dates. It would end up being just a big party. It would be you and just a bunch of girls partying all the time. You wouldn't be taking these girls on dates. You don't take anybody on dates. You're pretty much saying that they just want to drink with me instead of going out. I think it would start that way.

What if the company picked up the check? Would you take them on real dates? Would you let them get wine? They could order a glass of wine. They could sleepovers. What would you do about that, they have to sleepover. Yeah. What would you do about that if they have to sleepover? See, let me tell you something.

I don't mind that much of a sleepover. If I had a choice, I'd rather be by myself. I don't think they'd be sleeping with you. I think you set up almost like a fallout shelter-esque basement where it's just like a bunch of mattresses on the ground. No. In your living room. Just like. I mean, room. Marty doesn't have fucking 20 bedrooms in his house.

That's how you're going to have to do it. Like the way that the new Amsterdam house was on the bottom floor for like the random people. They don't have to be what? They don't have to be 10 contestants. No? 10's a lot. 10's a lot? Well, they have 30 on the actual Bachelor. Yeah, exactly. We cut it down to 10.

And I mean, they would be miserable, man. And I feel like I don't have to do anything. They're going to be the ones fighting with each other. And I just get to slap rats, I guess. No? I guess. I mean, it's your reality show. You can do whatever you want.

It'd be so funny if they just all left. They're like, really? No, I don't give a fuck. I'm just leaving. Would you do like a rose ceremony and everything? Yeah, yeah. We'll do like a rat ceremony, though. We'll do like.

What would you give him? A tail? I don't know. Oh, my God. You would not. You would not do that. I would. You would just give him a rat tail

I knew Deke was going to quote the head thing What? My head hurts, my throat hurts It's the same thing, no one's slapping a rat on your head That would be good That would be great Very excited about that So is this like a real potential for you to do this?

Like not like now Because obviously there's so much shit going on. But I sit right next to Hank. I put it right into his ear a lot. I think it would be fun. Why wouldn't you watch that? You would. Where would you find the girls? Yeah, it's people like The Bachelor, which is a very popular show.

Only in this case, someone with a personality is The Bachelor. And no editing. I mean, there's going to be editing, but no censorship. And imagine having Rhea and Fran. Rhea and Fran. It's just Marty's fucking bedroom. Lights on while we fuck. Rhea and Fran are the host.

And Trent's just there out of nowhere. He's Chris Harrison. I don't think Trent wants to be Chris Harrison. If he is, he should. He wants to be the luggage guy. Maybe that's on the main show. Maybe on this show he'd like to be Chris Harrison. Who would be Chris Harrison?

I don't know. I don't know who could pull that off. Who would want to do that? Tyler? Oh, Tyler would be good. Tyler would be great. Is Tyler a shit star though? Do you have to have... No, I think Chris Harrison is the guy that's got... Tyler? Oh, Tyler would be good. Tyler would be great. Is Tyler a shit-stirrer, though? Like, do you gotta have...

No, I think Chris Harrison's, like, the guy that's, like... Oh, he's the moderator. Marty, one more... You have one more rose. That guy. Yeah. Oh, I thought he was, like, the shit-stirrer. No.

Shit-stirrer is a part of the scene. That's Hank. That's Hank. And that's where Hank was, like, yeah, I would love to do that. He's the moderator. He's the one that comes out and he does, like, the dramatic, like, I'm this season on The Bachelor. And then it's, like, Marty, like, making out with all these girls. And he's, like... It's the most. He's the one that comes out and he does like the dramatic like, I'm this season on The Bachelor. And then it's like Marty like making out with all these girls.

And he's like, it's the most pointless job in America. It really is. Like there's no reason for Chris Harrison to be doing it, but people love him. Yeah. And I mean, I feel like the. You have to be like a likable guy. I don't know who it would be. Yeah.

You know who it would be really funny if like Large did it. If Large was like the Chris Harrison for a Marty Musch day. K. Marco wouldn't be bad. Oh, K. Marco would be really funny if like large did it like if large was like the chris harrison for a marty mush jay marco wouldn't be bad okay because he does a good job on the like the barstool idol thing just yeah i think he'd be doing so where would you find these girls like would you select them or would you like them i wouldn't be able to know who they are yeah and they're just they could apply for the i think this is such a good idea. It is. I'm so here for this. In the summer when nothing's going on just like fucking baseball

50 games in what would it what would it be called? Because at first it was going to be a double shot at mush but that was like the playoff of

Double Shot of Love Double Shot of Love but I don't know what this one would be called. Well yeah the Double Shot of Love wasn't that like Muscle of the

Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the Muscle of the double shot of love wasn't that like... The mushula, the mushula. Yeah, and we called in, waited 45 minutes, and was like, guess what, guys? I got the title right here, the mushula. Mush-a-na-rat?

The mushula, that's good. You don't want to do the double shot at mush, because wasn't the double shot of love because she was bi? No, it was two guys. I thought double shot of love was tequila. No, the first one was tequila, because there were boys and girls going for it. Oh, that was, well, I'm not.

You're really dating yourself there. Double Shot of Love was Vinny and Paul. You don't remember when Tequila Tequila had a dating show? I remember her sex tape with Christina Rose, but I don't remember. She had a dating show that was very short-lived, but it was because she was dating both the guys and the girls. So she had a Double Shot of Love. Is that what Vinny and Paul's show was called? Do you know love is that what is that what vidian you know she's a double shot of love yeah oh do you know tequila tequila is a white supremacist now

is she really yeah tequila tequila is like a big like hitler fan and white supremacist but you have i'm not gonna like she's asian i'm definitely not for it but i i respect her doing something like that because she's got to do something crazy to get her name back. She's out on social media doing it? I think she got banned from everything. I think it was 2016 or sometime around then. She was a big Heil Hitler. Yikes. Can confirm.

Yikes. Remember that one time when we did... It wasn't on KFC radio. I guess I had to... On this podcast maybe? Whenever I sang Tila Tequila for you and you cried? Excuse me. Remember when I like busted out all those lyrics to tequila tequila?

I cried because you were so embarrassed of me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking leave with that.

The yes. Now I recall. I didn't remember you moving me to fucking tears. No, no, no, no. You cried because you were embarrassed. You definitely were not ever that impressive. No, it was. You don't cry when things are impressive.

You cry when things are embarrassing or happy. And I can promise you singing Tequila Tequila lyrics was not happy. You believe me and John had a meeting today? A successful one. Just the two of you? Was it just the two of you? There were a few producers and stuff in it. Okay, so then yeah, I can.

No, but we were running show. They were just laughing their asses off at our ideas. It was unbelievable because usually my meetings are just like them telling me what to do and I'm just laughing

because they said something inappropriate. That's usually what it is. This was like, ideas were flowing. We both liked it. It was unbelievable. When's the show starting?

We're going to film it today. I think we have tomorrow night. Oh, yeah. Oh. So it's like happening quick. Yeah. How many episodes are there? We're going to film it today. I think we have it tomorrow night. Oh, yeah. Oh. So it's, like, happening quick. Yeah. How many episodes are there? We're going to go forever.

We have, like, I mean, I got a lot to learn about gambling. Every day? No, no, no, no. Once a week. Okay. Once a week, making a gambler. I know. I love the idea.

But it's not, like, even though it really is, like, for John, it's good for, like, I get a lot of tweets, like, I want to get into gambling because I see how much it's becoming a thing and pretty much why he wants to become a gambler, because it's going to be legal. And I'm going to teach him and the world how to be a gambler. Yeah, because somebody called in last week and said, is there a show for beginning gamblers? Yeah, and that's when I took my notebook out and they're like, what are you writing down? I was like, oh, that was a good idea. So the notebook came in handy.

The notebook came to life. 833-857-8665 is the number. We've got people calling in for names for the mush bachelor show. We'll talk about pretty much anything. If you guys want to talk about the games last night, you want to talk about this AMAs, whatever. Let's go to Chad in Indiana.

Chad, what do you got for mushy show? Mush. I think you got to keep it simple, man. Just call it the ratcheter. The ratcheter. The ratcheter. The ratcheter. The ratcheter. The ratcheter. The ratch to keep it simple, man. Just call it The Ratchler, dude. The Ratchler? That's not bad.

That's not bad. It's better than The Mushler. It's definitely better than The Mushler. No, I like The Ratchler. You can do it with Casey and call it The Ratchlerette. The Ratchlerette. I would love to be The Bachelorette. I would love that shit.

You'd be so bad. Why would I be bad at that? Why would I be bad? God. Why would you be bad at that? You'd be so bad. Why would I be bad? God. Why would you be bad? Everything you've ever said. Like, I can picture you. I don't think you'd just try and give a rose to everybody.

Bullshit. You'd feel bad. Yeah. What about me? You don't have the mean streak, I feel like. Nor do I, so it's not even a put down. No, I wouldn't like... The idea of having to give people roses

and not give people roses would give me a little bit of anxiety, but I think that if I knew that it was who I was going to end up dating, it's different. Like, if I was in the bathroom... Wait, do I have to date them right after? You're supposed to get engaged. Yeah, you gotta marry them. Oh, we're not.

We're not doing that. Of course we are. Then what's the point of doing it? We'll see how it goes after. I ain't marrying these suckers are Then what's the point of doing it? We'll see how it goes after I ain't marrying these suckers That's the whole point of these shows We'll go double shot of love They didn't have any

They were just Me and look at somebody else do it with me I ain't marrying these suckers You have to at least seriously date them Then there's no fucking point I'll try to Sounds like a real commitment Yeah

I'll give it a laugh like a real commitment. Yeah. I'll give it a laugh. Don't throw a college effort on there. Sure. Why would I be a bad bachelorette? I don't know. I feel like you'd sooner commit to polygamy than tell someone to get the fuck out of there. No.

I'm marrying all 30 of these guys. You know what I would be bad at? I would figure out very quickly the one or two that I was actually interested in. And then I would just tell everyone else. I'd be like, I'm not really into any of you. That's why the show would stink. Yeah, I'd pick the one or two up at the very beginning. Be like, these are the two I like. And then everybody else would just be shit out of luck.

That's probably what I would do. I'd ruin the season. No, yeah, you'd stink. So you pretty much told you you'd stink. Do you think I'd be good on The Bachelor? If I had 29 other girls I was going up against? I think you'd be better on The Bachelor than being The Bachelorette. You motherfuckers.

Greg in Ohio, what do you got on this? Oh, my God. First off, Casey, when's your scene drop on Throated? Oh, my God. Damn. Damn it, Greg. That was Damn. Damn it, Greg. That was good. Damn it, Greg.

But no, I think KFC would be a good Chris Harrison. Oh, Kevin would be a good one. He can pull that witty shit. He would be actually really good at it. Thanks, Greg. He would tell some girls crazy. He would actually go at some of the girls, too.

Yeah, but I think that that would, Kevin would be a really good, like, producer to help produce the storylines. Like, whoever Chris Harrison is for Barstool has to be, like, you're right. Keith would probably be great at it because he would just be the guy that, like, sets up the shit and then just walks away. He's very subtle with his insults, too. Oh, yeah. And, like, you don't know he's insulting you cause he's so like, he's so smart. Yeah.

He's way smarter than everybody else. Kevin, Kevin and John would both be great behind the scenes producers. Cause you would like feel bad for some of the girls. So like you would like try to like ease it. You'd be like, no, no,

no, no. Like let's not do that. I just smashed all Marty's fucking overflow. So I'm sorry, baby. Come on. I'll take you to fucking, I'll get, I'll let you get all already said sign me up. I'm sorry, baby. Come on. I'll take you to fucking.

I'll let you get all the Penne La Vodka you want, whatever this fucking order. Especially what, on a lonely Tuesday? Is that what you said earlier? That lonely Tuesday? I already have people tweeting me that they're signed up for the show. I think. Gals? Girls.

How? Okay. The logistics obviously would be a Hank thing, but like, how long are we talking? Are we talking like a few weeks? Are we talking a month? I think we need to put a poll out there to see if they would... Okay. Put a poll out there and then what?

Zaha, can we do it from the Barstool Radio account? If people would watch or people sign up? I think we should say... Sign up. I think we know people. People would watch. People would watch. If people would sign up to be a contestant on Marty's dating show, they have to live in his house.

Because that's a huge thing. It's not just a dating show where you get to go home. You're stuck there. We'll have some fantasy dates. Fantasy suite dates? Is the fantasy suite going to be in your fucking master bedroom in your house? No, I can't go in my mother's room. Are you kidding me?

I ain't dogging in there. I'm going to my brother's room. Or I'll dog in a bird room. I forgot. That's the smush of the bird cave. The bird cave. Yeah. The bird cave.

I'm taking a rack to the bird cave. Would they be allowed to have their phones? Because on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, you can't. No, you can't have your phone. Well, the phones kind of, like, they give them, like, a fake phone. They only have, like, my number in it. So they can still text you. Yeah, like, that's what was good about.

So, like, a drug dealer phone that, like, is prepaid. Yeah, that's what was good, the double shot I love with Vinny and Paul. Like, they would all, they had phones, but they only could text Paul or Vinny. That's good. The double shot with Vinny and Paul. They had phones, but they only could text Paul or Vinny. That's it. And they would just text and come down.

So how long are these birds staying at Mush's house? Yeah, that's the question. How long is the time frame? Let's say two weeks. We need a time frame. Two weeks? Let's say a month.

I think a month. Two weeks? I don't think a month. Two weeks is so short. All right, three weeks. Let's do three weeks. Yeah, three weeks. What's the difference?

Yeah, because I mean, I always think about this with reality TV shows in general, whether it's like the Jersey Shore style or the dating style, like the amount of time that they're there and you only see an hour a week, like all the shit they have to cut. Can you imagine the amount of footage Hank would have to cut with Marty? That new show was doing, the Love Island Island one was doing every day for I think it was like three weeks. They literally did it every day and the night before they'd just cut it and put it out

the next day. Would this be one of those shows where they have like the eyes in the sky all the time like Big Brother style? Oh yeah. How much shit they'd be talking about me like this guy sucks. Why the fuck are we here? It would be fun for like six hours yes i'm watching the british one and they have 60 episodes in a season all 45 minutes and it's

every day every night yeah and i'm like on episode 40 42 of season five zah loves it so my one of my friends is was on the u.s love island shout out Shout out to him. Yeah, and Zob met him. He goes, I really love Island, but not yours. It was like. The British one is just, it's gold. I know. It's entertaining. Do you think reality TV stars like that are famous?

Like, I know like Jersey Shore obviously is, and like some other people are. But like, double shot of Love Girls. No. Do you think they're like, like they're for that i mean do you know who they are well i watch the show of course i do yeah but like moving forward like it's kind of like i know you never watch the real world but like the real world people like they did like pool party circuits like i remember when i was in college you'd be like so and so from the real world will be at this apartment pool party like no they're not famous. That's why I think Jersey Shore changed it so much. Jersey Shore made them, they're all super famous.

I think every show gets one actual famous person per season. Maybe not even, maybe every other year, there's one person who transcends it and gets into it. The Bachelor and Bachelorette's different now too because of social media. You no joke have three weeks after your show ends to do something again. Except for the Jersey Shore. Yeah.

That's what I think. Because I was talking to my friend. I was like, what do you do now? I know you have all these followers and shit, but it's like, oof, just got to text from the bookie. Let's go out to Ronnie in Detroit. He's got an idea for this. Ronnie, what's up? Ronnie, what's up? Ronnie?

You there? Ronnie! Alright, Ronnie. Ronnie, you there? Hard no. Sorry, Ronnie. That's tough. He said he had a name for it. I mean, you just have to call it like...

It'll have to be a simple name. Maybe like The Barstool Bachelor or something? That's what Ronnie's idea was, by the way. I just stole it. Well, he didn't answer the phone. That was his idea, The Barstool Bachelor? That's what his idea was. We got to step that up.

Yeah, that's a little weak. Would you do the whole suit and all that stuff too? No. No, it's still – it's just me. What I would – it's what I would do every day. I'd still live my same exact life. You would come to work? No, I wouldn't come to work.

Like that's like because the cameras would have to be – So what would you do all day? I'd be doing what I would – I don't know. I'd see what the girls are doing. I don't know. You guys got to come up with the ideas. I'm the talent here. You guys fucking come up with the ideas.

I guess it would be Hank. I guess it would be Hank coming up with, oh, you do have a pool? Yeah, I got a pool. And it would be funny. I could also have my family over one night. They have to meet my family. They'll have to go out with me to the bars one night. It would be like a-

Like an actual dating show. Yeah. It would be a real deal. You should- I mean, and then as you dwindle it down to a couple girls, they should actually like an actual dating show. Yeah. It'll be real. You should, you, I mean, and then as you like dwindle it down to like a couple of girls, like they should actually have to come in here. Yeah. They'd have to like,

like one of the challenges or whatever should have to be like a day at Barstool and how they could contain themselves. Yeah. Me talking about other girls on here and shit. Yeah. You, you just sit in the control room. I'm already talks about his other girlfriends.

Would I think that that and one of the requirements would have to be like they've never met you before right like we couldn't have like people yeah no signing up that i already know who they are okay all right unless they like somehow get through it and if you want to weasel your way well there's always one like they somehow on like the bachelor the bachelorette there's always one like weasels their way in that's like hooked up with them before i just said we should have in that's hooked up with them before. I would say we should have someone that's hooked up with Marty, but Marty doesn't remember. Yeah, that's good.

That's real good. But how would we know if he doesn't remember? I would tell you. I mean, if she's like, I swear to God, we hooked up, then she can explain. Even if it's not true, it would be funny for her just to go through it all. Regardless, it's good. I thought you haven't had a lot of one-night stands yet, right? I could tell you probably three That I definitely couldn't tell you

Who the fuck they were Like their faces or their names McLean in California What do you got for Musha's show How about the rat race That's not bad That one's not bad The rat race is pretty good

Tyler and Austin what do you got Barstool bet on love Barstool bet on love bad. The rat race is good. The rat race is pretty good. Tyler and Austin, what do you got? Barstool Bet on Love. Barstool Bet on Love? Yeah, because you're a gambler. Yeah, how we haven't thought about this? No, actually, that's pretty good. Like, Bet on Love.

We could even do a daily contest on Barstool Bets. Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea. Marty, the brain's working, huh? That was good, yeah. A little contest parcel bets on live betting on what girl's going to win that night. That'd be fucking ridiculous. Oh, my God.

If we could start setting those lines, now that John's making a gambler, now that he's the gambling guy, he could start setting the lines. That is a multi-million dollar idea. And even having some people just from the office come to my house for the night and like they have to help me. Like that's what, again, I'm going to go with the double shot of love. Oh, I would definitely come over for that. Exactly.

Like when Vinny and Pauly were doing it, they had like JWoww come over. They had Snooki come over to try and help them with the girls. And that's been very funny. Brandon Walker. Yeah. Dad has to come. Be pretty good. All right. 833-857-8665 we'll take our first break of cck it's me marty and fights hanging out we're talking if marty's gonna have a dating show is this little wayne tuesdays uh we could do that let's do little wayne

tuesday here on c. We'll be right back. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man. How you doing? You good? I know you like that.

I know you like that. Come on, you've been back, man. Welcome, welcome, man. How you doing? You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. Come on, you've been back, man. Come on, come on, come on, come on. I see the girls in the club, they're getting wild for me. We're back. And all the pretty chicks. And I'm not talking, I'm not talking about the radio show. I'm talking about the New York Mets.

Mets game about to start up. 1-10 start as you go for the four-game sweep over the D-backs, and you put them in their coffin, and you bury them for the fucking season. Two games back of the whole goddamn thing, and I have no choice but to be back in on the Mets because I certainly cannot be in on the New York Jets. Mono. That's been taken out of my hands.

I have no fucking choice. I can't root for the jets because of fucking mono the kissing disease that is that's a new one that's a new one put that one down in the fucking record books i think i know you could get mono like past a certain age i feel like adults don't get it yeah i know that's why it's like what is he 18 he is a child but it is it's like you hear about that in junior high and high school yes oh yeah fights are telling me a story about his little uh his little bat with with uh mono you had mono i had it i was going to as a junior in high school that's why and i was going to a college party with a girl

she was driving i didn't have my license yet and um she was drinking a coffee or something i don't know something with a straw and i went to take a sip out of it out of the cup holder and she's like wait wait wait i just had mono because it's still i think it's still two weeks after you can still spread it or whatever and i was like i don't care and i saw in her eyes like oh shit he doesn't care that i have mono we're gonna we're gonna get it on it's going down and we did. And I got mono two days later. And how long?

Immediately after I had mono. I thought you were going to say that you just took a sip of her drink and that's how you got mono. But you're just. We don't know. It could have been any of them. It could have been that. But you also hooked us too. Yeah. Well, we didn't get it on, but we did.

We did a lot of kissing. Well, that's how you get. And how long did you suffer from the symptoms? I missed most of the baseball season. And then, because I'm a fucking badass in the league championship, baked a doctor's note, wore lacrosse rib pads to protect my spleen. Played the game. Went three for four. Made a great camera out in right field.

But won the game. The bigger, more important part of that story, although congratulations on your heroic moment. You said you missed most of the season. Yeah, I did. I missed a long time. Because it's months with fucking mono. Because you lose all that weight.

And then they say that Donald's lost 10 pounds. Willie told me he's lost 10 pounds. Well, I guess it probably happened midway through the season and I probably missed the rest of it. But you still just don't bounce back next week? The whole point is, even if eventually... Okay, so right now, he's certainly out for next week. He's out for Monday.

And he's out for week three with the Patriots. They luckily... Originally, I was so fucking mad I had a week four bye because ordinarily, who the fuck needs that? But when you got C.J. Mosley with a groin, Quincy Anunua out for the season with a neck, Le'Veon Bell with a busted up shoulder and your quarterbacks got mono, the week four by could not have come at a better time.

Come out of the bye week against the Eagles and the Cowboys and the Patriots again than the Jaguars. Now, Big Dick Nick is out. The Cowboys, who really knows exactly what they are. You got a couple home games in there. But it is highly conceivable to see an 0-7 start with the Jets. The way their schedule is to start things off, potentially with Trevor goddamn Simeon getting major playing time. Trevor Simeon.

Trevor Simeon. I mean, he's one of those guys. Like I know that I always forget where he was. Was he in Denver last? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I can see him in a Titans uniform too.

Just Simeon looks like a Titans uniform name. I don't know why I'm putting that together. I can see that. You could honestly say he was just anywhere in the league and be like, Oh yeah, maybe at some point. He was one of those guys. He was one of those guys that,

I mean, he never fucking expected to be playing. You got a young franchise quarterback who like it's his time you know when it was when it was um when it was josh mccown and you know i'll be playing do we sit him everywhere with all hands on deck year two sam donald he's the guy let's go you're holding a clipboard all season long you are not even thinking about this and now all of a sudden week two you're thrown in the mix and uh you know i i don't want to be overly pessimistic after i came into things being optimistic and i don't want to overreact but the jets are it's over it's over it's over it's over i mean i keep thinking like i do think that they could beat, like, the...

I think they could beat the Cowboys. Based on... Just because you don't think... Just looking at the rest, like, I don't think they're going to beat the Eagles. They're still not going to beat the Patriots. They had the Patriots twice already in that. Like, of all years to have the bye when they have it, to have... Like, usually the Patriots, there's a late season game this year.

Both games up front. If the Cowboys actually... By the way, they still could beat the Browns even with Trevor Simeon on Monday because the Browns are the Browns. We're quickly flipping back from the Browns are going to the Super Bowl to the Browns are back to being the Browns. So things

could happen. And also, Sam Darnold like... It's not like Tom Brady. No. He didn't look that good. Okay. But Trevor Simeon is not. No, he's not. I feel like it's almost just part of that

New York like pessimistic, not pessimistic, but I mean like everything's falling apart mentality where it's just like oh, we lost our quarterback. He's been playing that well anyway. Well, I mean, here's the thing. He has, he had his moments last year we lost our quarterback. He hasn't been playing that well anyway. Well, I mean, here's the thing. He had his moments last year. Even in losses, he had his moments where, like, he was moving the chains.

He was making the throws, deep threats. Like, even – yeah, then that's – if you're sitting there with a fine-tooth comb and you're really looking at his play, you're right. On the whole, it's not like Sam Darnold was guaranteed Ws and now you've lost everything. I understand your point. Trevor Simeon is a considerable drop down. The only thing that's like,

it's kind of in the back of my mind is like the middle to second half, middle to late part of the season is like dolphins, red skins, dolphins again. Like they have a stretch of like four straight, five straight games, where if Darnold is back and, and Mosley and Le'Veon Bell and everyone's kind of clicking that maybe they could salvage something. But it's over. And here's the thing. It's over because of ridiculous circumstances.

And all I want, I don't – I'm not even asking to be a winning team anymore. I'm just asking to be a normal losing team is that so much to ask I just don't want it to be embarrassing anymore I don't want the headlines I just want to lose with dignity like if you're if your quarterback's gonna get hurt can I just have him hurt his shoulder can you just have a separated shoulder? Does it have to be the goddamn middle school kissing disease? Noah Syndergaard gets hand, foot and mouth disease.

Ike Davis once had valley fever. Jed Lowry, he became a dead person as soon as the Mets signed him. My teams always have some sort of extra wrinkle of embarrassment where it's like always, my teams always have some sort of extra wrinkle of embarrassment where it's like, why do they

even have to tell us that? Why can't they just tell us that Sam Donald's fucking got some other normal goddamn disease that's not going to make all these fucking kissing jokes? Was it this season that we thought that somebody on the Mets broke both of their ankles? Cespedes? Yeah. Oh, Cespedes broke his fucking ankles on a ranch. That was this season, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was

this goddamn season. That was this season, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was this goddamn season. That feels so long ago. When me and Clem are doing the podcast and we try to like, especially this one which has had so many ups and so many downs, we're always like, was that this year? That game? That injury? That moment? It feels like a different lifetime. Was it in the old office too, I think? No, it was here.

It was here? That's what I just realized. It was here because I think we were... Remember I was on that run down and I fell on the floor both ankles? we thought it was both and then it turned out to be one ankle and two spots because he stepped in a hole on a ranch a non-horse ranching injury when you have to put out a statement that says

it was a non-horse ranching injury we have left the realm of reality here. All I want is just to be a normal, a fan of a normal team. Not even Winnerloo is just a normal fucking team. And if he's really lost

10 pounds, doesn't that mean Sam Donald's known he's had something going on for a little bit? Granted, week one was not his fault. The defense just fell apart when CJ Mosley came out. He also didn't play great and certainly faltered in a couple moments where

they needed him. It's definitely part of your fault if you have six points or four turnovers and those six points were scored by the defense. And then down, it was not even a two-minute drill. I think it was a three-minute drill and he couldn't move the ball at all. The only silver lining, spin zone here here is that I can at least justify week one a little bit more because he probably had it at that point.

And they just said play anyways. Well, at that point they probably were just, it was probably the very early stages of it. Right. And it was like, you're sick, you know,

play through a pussy. And then you realize it's this, like, I don't even, I don't know. I really don't even know what mono does to you. I'm not even sure. It's like your fucking,

you like swells up. It's like, I mean, it's, it's hard to live. It's hard to breathe. It's hard, impossible to you. I'm not even sure how. It's like your fucking uvula swells up. I mean, it's hard to live. It's hard to breathe. It's impossible to eat. You certainly can't. You're very sore. It takes you off your feet. I mean, everyone's like, all right, you're out this week.

You're definitely out week three. And then we have the bye. So we'll see you on week five. Like, probably fucking not. So you're losing weight because it's hard to eat? Or you're losing weight because you're just not hungry? I would guess hard to eat. I think it's hard to eat.

I don't really remember. Are you like puk because you're just not hungry? I would guess hard to eat. I think it's hard to eat. I don't really remember. Are you like puking and shitting and stuff? You're just overall it's bad. Yeah. But you know like a lot of people lose weight from that too because like even if your throat's fine I don't recall much puking. I don't recall much puking. Losing 10 pounds as quickly as he did and in the profession he's

in you can't have that. You can't go into a game down like 10, 20 pounds. Gronk lost six pounds, I think, and everyone's like, there's no way he can return to football. Look how frail he looks, skinny little bitch. I just, I mean, as quickly as I had a little bit of optimism, it's as quickly as the whole fucking season came crashing down. I mean, it's crazy.

You guys were legitimately optimistic. That was what? It wasn't a full week ago it's not a week ago it was like it was like four or five days ago it was friday you did your own show and it was about how you were like you know what i think i think would be okay now granted i will say that was me saying to myself it's been such a mess with the mets season me dealing with other mets fans about in and out up and down that i was like i'm, I don't want to have that. I'm just going to fucking root for my team, and they're going to be good. So I was kind of convincing myself of it. You gave me some truth serum.

I probably would have told you New York Jets are not going to win football games. But I did at least have enough reason to believe. And then, like, I mean, Quincy Inunua, like, his career is probably over. What happened? Is it a neck? Yeah, he missed all 2017 with a neck injury. Now he's got another one. And they basically are like, you're going to have, your neck is like a problem for you.

It's not just like flukes. It's like you have a problematic neck. Well, I don't think you can play football with a problematic neck. No. Probably not a good idea. I actually, what would you do? So let's say you're Quincy Anunua. You were out all 2017.

You're out all this year now. Let's say, and I don't know. Oh my God. It's so empty. Holy shit. I know it's a day game in the middle of the week. Um, but the city field has been empty the last like week or so as they've

returned yet again. Uh, which is just a shitty feeling when you're like making a playoff push and there's nobody there. If you're Quincy and new one, you come back, let's say you're medically cleared. Doctors say you're good to go. Team's okay you and uh it's up to you what would you do

you're a good player are you arguably like great at times when he's on the field a true like playmaker he's got your clears him what's his bank he's got 15 in the bank i believe he had i think he assigned like 30 something over four was his deal or something like that. So decent money in the bank. Certainly not, you know, anything to, to retire, you know, family. That's what I was saying. Is he married kids?

Probably not. He's a pretty young dude. I'm not, I'm not. Quincy? Yeah. No, I don't believe he's married. So. Very good friend of Willie's.

Yeah. He's always at the, at the Willie compound at all his barbecues and whatnot. I'd probably give him one more whack. I would give him one more whack. You think? If I didn't have a family and kids that I knew that could be affected by it. And what if the doctors were like, listen, the third one, it could be, you know, your spine. If it's some Jerry Maguire shit where the next concussion kills you, then probably not.

But if they're like, you might need one more surgery like i'm like all right fuck it that that one yeah i think i would do it jesus christ like a line drive to conforto in the outfield and he just looked very confused on whether to dive catch play on a hop i mean when is this this is a tough spot it is but it's it's it became a tough spot because he's not a good outfielder. So as we watch the Mets here, I have no choice but to be back in on them. And honestly, the in and out, it was all kind of a joke. The Mets fans anonymous, the addiction angle. It was a joke, but it was an appropriate one.

After the double console and now back in, it truly genuinely is like drugs. Because people are looking at me like, you're back, you're back. It's almost like when you have a junkie friend. It's like, you're high again. You showed up to the family event high again. I thought we were good. I thought you gave it up. I thought you were clean.

You're fucking high again. And this is when people start to give up on you. This is when your girlfriend dumps you and your family's like, we can no longer help you. Don't come to me for money anymore. My friends, my fans, my family, they're all giving up on me. They can't believe that I'm watching them again and talking about them again. But I have to be because they're two games out and they're the only goddamn team who wants to win this fucking thing. Everybody else stinks.

Everybody else is losing. Christian Yelich out for the year. Javi Baez done. Every other team is getting worse. No, the Brewers have won like six games in a row. I know. See, now I'm actually thinking that there's a chance that it ends up being the Mets

and the Brewers going after each other the final couple days of the season where we may see like a play-in for the play-in. Because I think the Cup... But then the other thing is as I look at those teams the Mets are the one team that has like the fatal flaw like they're the one like their bullpen out of all the teams that are still in it the Mets bullpen

is the worst piece of any of those remaining teams well the Brewers not having Christian is probably a bigger flaw no I don't think so the Mets bullpen is that bad the Mets bullpen is like bad. The Mets bullpen is, is like prone to, I mean, the Mets bullpen lost a game that has like never been lost before.

So as much of a blow as that is when you, cause like, you know, yellow in baseball, you still only get a handful of at bats. The bullpen will be in every single game and they are all very, very bad. But at the same time,

it doesn't seem to be affecting them right now. The only thing is that they got the Dodgers in town this weekend, but the Dodgers are clinched. So, and they just recently clinched. So maybe now is the time where they kind of are arresting people. Oh boy. Deep fly ball left field.

It's always an adventure. I was going to say, but my boy, J.D. Davis, my boy, J.D. Davis, my God. Yeah.

J.D. is not exactly, uh, your brother back here at Kevin. Oh my Davis. My God. Yeah, J.D. is not exactly putting... He popped in the stands for us to grab a beer. Your brother back here at Kevin? Oh, my God. I feel stinks. Stinks. Stinks.

And these are the guys that... Sometimes I try to play these guys. They play Conforto in center sometimes. You can see it in his face. He's like, oh, boy. This is the worst. He's actually gotten a couple web gems this year because of his bad roots. It should have been a routine ball that turns into a web gem.

And it's like, all right, great. I'm happy you caught it. And it was a circus act. You should have just a routine ball that turns into a web gem and it's like all right great i'm happy you caught it and it was a circus act you should have just been underneath that one like a can of corn uh i mean look this dude was rounding second like this guy had no shot at this ball uh but yeah i mean the mets are are somehow some way still in this at some point you know because of, because of just ridiculousness, I got to chalk a lot of this up to luck at some point. But they really are the only team. I guess the Brewers are hot right now,

but the Mets seem to be the only team that are still taking advantage of this shitty NL over here. What a fucking... And you can't triple console. I don't know. Maybe you can. Maybe you can. I don't think that you can double console. Yeah, neither did I.

The triple console will be like the elimination game. Right. Because at this point, there's only so few games left. You have to ride it out no matter what. After they got swept, there was that six-game losing streak. They got swept. And then, of course, that infamous night, I just figured there's no way this team bounces back yet again. You were wrong.

There they fucking go. But really, this point point because there was a there was a point in the season where i was truly arguing with mets fans about like no you don't get it i was out for a good reason if you weren't out you're the crazy one i'm actually the one who's like in so deep and blah blah now it truly is like i'm a junkie now it's like i it makes no sense everyone should be ashamed of me everyone should be disgusted with me It's getting back together with the same girl for the third time. But that girl's heroin. That's what I'm saying.

This is a catastrophic life decision, and everyone's just looking at me with just sheer, like, you've got to be kidding me. That's actually what I'm most jealous of with you, Feidelberg. It's not the winning. It's the relaxed comfortability like you just don't care like you don't have to worry about anything even when like the Mets are good right now they're on a hot streak but I'm like uh it's gonna fall apart at any moment or like you know what's gonna happen next where you're just like well you know we're gonna win on Sunday we are gonna and even like

even like long term it's like next year year the Bruins will be in the playoffs. They'll be in the mix. They'll be contending for a cup. And I guess the Red Sox, the only thing that's a little bit up and down. Speaking of the Bruins, there has been at least some progress on the Charlie McAvoy deal, so shout out that. Doesn't look like he's pulling a Marner, which is crazy. I'm not on the right show to be

talking about that, but that fell on the deafest ears possible. I mean, i get it he's he's not not a hockey he might not come back but i didn't even know where to mourner go no mitch marner hey he so he is he's a restricted free agent in toronto and they're trying to get him to resign but it seems like he just does not want to live in toronto anymore despite the fact that he was brought up there yeah um but he he turned down, they've offered seven and eight years deals at $11 million annual average.

And he's still saying no? And he's saying pass. So he's gone, gone. Are they going to offer nine? Everyone is like, what do you want to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's, I mean, I think Patrice bergeron makes six million dollars a year or something like that marshans around there i think pasta's low sevens it's like you're making four

million dollars a year than three superstars but it's from what i saw is it's uh it's not as long or it's longer i forget which one that is but it's not as much um annually as matthews and he values himself as more than matthew It's basically a dick measuring contest. Oh, I was going to say it's different. If someone's just like, I do not want to play here. I do not want to live here. There's no really amount of money. But that's also so stupid. I don't really live there. You're on the road.

Even if you're signing deals in different also there is, I think their CBA is coming up and players with gambling they see there's going to be a big influx in cash and they kind of want that deal um so i think this this this restricted free agent class is kind of everyone's being a little difficult it seems like i just can't believe i mean mitch marner when he looks like vibs he is like a small dude who takes so many ricochet shots he knows it though he can't

say he can understand it like and whatever i guess that doesn't matter when you're like talented and you're getting the job done but just part of me would be like i'm in a like a very physical sport and i don't really have that body type and i'm being offered you know 88 million dollars or whatever the fuck it is like i'm just gonna take it it's all i also think it's crazy just with comparing yourself to other players on your team. Yeah. Where it's like, well, you signed the deal three years ago. Right. Money's the, and like, that's what the Bruins, like Patrice Bergeron was asked, like, does he, is he upset that Marchand makes more?

He's like, no, I don't care. It's like everybody who signs the newest contract makes more than the older guy. Marchand was asked, like, what's the deal with Poshnok? Is everything okay? He's like, yeah, he buys dinner now though. Yeah. What are you going to do? And like, yeah, he buys dinner now though. And like,

I think, and also when you're all in the same like ballpark and you're all getting paid enough, it's okay. You know what I mean? If there's like a, a gross misjust injustice, okay, we can talk about it,

but you know, when everybody's making millions and everyone's eating, okay, it's very weird. The Bruins are lucky because the Bruins all take less. I don't know why they do it. All the Bruins take less. And like Brady effect, even Tory Krug was like he's like i will take less this year i like in boston i think we'll work something out and uh it's actually spitting chiclets had an interesting quote with sydney crosby that he said to them where he said taking

less only works if everyone does it right and you don't want to be the only asshole give it up you know and it does and it only works if you have competent management. Because if I'm taking less and you turn around and you give it to some asshole, it's like, well, I'd rather that money just go to me. But if you're going to spread it all around. That's something people always get mad about with Patriots fans. Like, Tom Brady gets less and you still don't give him weapons. It's like, they spread it in the right places.

Yeah, clearly. I don't think Tom Brady. I need a wide receiver. He's like, Bill, do what you want with that. Yeah. And if that money gets spread around in the form of a no-name-but-effective safety or some shit that Tom Brady doesn't get to benefit from, but he benefits from, I think he's okay with it.

That's what they've said, that the Patriots are the last team that kind of rescued, quote-unquote, the middle class, where it was because once the CBA got done and rookie deals were restructured and rookies weren't making crazy money. Sam Bradford was the last one to make an absurd amount of money. Teams decided that it was cheaper to just cut an okay middle

of the road guy rather than give him that second contract and take a risk with a very cheap rookie. And that's what Belichick scoops up the Van Nuys and all that stuff. These are like veterans who have learned and grown or seasoned. He knows what he's doing. That's what he spends his money on rather than a weapon for Tom.

They just happen to end up with weapons for Tom. Yeah, yeah. That's historically the argument. This year there are a lot of fucking weapons. Also, he has weapons. They're just not like sexy, like pro-ball weapons. It's not like they're total bums. We know that Tom Brady is like a kingmaker,

but also, you know, those other guys, Julian Edelman still needs to run the route and catch the ball and shit like that. And those guys are serviceable, and they get the job done. Pete Alonzo just grounded out. He hooked up the entire team last night with custom 9-11 cleats. It all came out very cool.

Um, but he wanted to do, but he does something like that. Does Robinson can always say, look, that was nice of you. Let me, let me pay for that.

I w well, I was actually thinking that because he makes what? 600 grand. Yeah. Like probably 500 grand. And like, you know, 30,

30, a custom cleats is, you know, not cheap. Right. And 500 grand isn't, look, he's not, he's not in the fucking

poorhouse. He's not struggling for soup. Well, he did win a million dollars for the home run. I think he donated that to charity too, didn't he? The whole thing? Not the whole thing, but I think a lot of it's Wounded Warriors, yeah. Some custom shoes are $500,000.

I'm sure whoever's doing it, maybe it's for free or at a discount to get a shout out but like dirty cleats is is not fucking cheap whatever someone overpaid on that team should go look i got you yeah and and robinson cano would be that dude yeah he you know he should do that for the entire league he's the most overpaid motherfucker on the planet uh but uh the cleats came out very cool very very awesome gesture. What he originally wanted to do was wear custom hats. He wanted to have custom hats

made for the FDNY, the NYPD, and all the first responders for 9-11, and Major League Baseball yet again told them they can't do it. And this is something that happens every year with the Mets. I don't know if the Yankees do it, but certainly with the Mets, every year, they want to wear

the hats during the game. They wear them during pregame. They wear them postgame. And every year on 9-11, all they want to do is just wear the hats on the field. I think it happened the very first year. I think they all wore it on the field of play. And they just want to continue

that trend. And every year it's turned down. And it is the craziest thing that baseball does i don't understand they can't get out of their own way with so many things when it comes to social media and it comes to fans and growing the game this is such but this is on a whole nother level like there is quite literally no downside to doing it there's an upside that they're not even taking advantage of. Fucking put the FDNY, NYPD, put the fucking Mets logo on the side. You sell that in September.

All the proceeds go to the victims fund. Honestly, and you could even be scummy about it and do like a portion of it. If you wanted to make money off it, you could and do a portion of it. And then you're actually profiting from it this it would make the families of the victims of the worst terrorist attack in an in american history it would make them happy it would make the first responders who are still here they would be proud and they would feel appreciated it would make the players feel empowered that they could do something good it would make the fans happy It would make the players connect with the fans. It would make a young generation of fans connect with players,

which is what they desperately fucking need. It would make positive headlines all over the sports world. Have they ever offered an explanation? Can you imagine sitting down in that meeting and having whoever it is, however many people, being like, you know what? Nope, not going to do that for September 11th and i'm not gonna let the mets do that i've heard i don't know whether it's people speculating or through the grapevine i've heard things like people say it's a slippery slope i've heard things like that's the fucking lamest phrase

in the world yep anytime someone looks at the slippery slope it's not that hard you just don't want to deal with it right that's that's all it means i don't feel like dealing with something that's slightly difficult i don't feel like dealing with the backlash when someone wants to wear a hat for their mom that's easy that's no no no you can't wear a different it's beautiful for your hat because your mom has and that and even you know if you wanted to we get this a lot with like hey can i could you like retweet this for uh for my friend who died or something and that that is like, if I retweet you, then I'm going to get a bunch of people who asked me to retweet them or blog about this.

And then all of a sudden I feel like an asshole because I'm deciding whether your heartbreaking story is, quote, worthy enough for this. And it's like, I'd rather just not do this at all. But then, every now and then, there's one that's so heartbreaking, we just fucking do it. And it's like, i'm sorry i didn't talk about you who had breast cancer or something but this is a tragedy over here and we're all

going to help that that that is what we're doing here with 9-11 times a billion it's not going to be in new york yeah right there's not gonna there's not gonna be anybody who's like you you didn't do anything for like my my mom who died in a car accident but you're gonna do 9-11 everyone understands that 9-11 is the biggest the worst the most tragic the most heartbreaking and the one that deserves the most attention no one's gonna be can you actually zach can you pull up my tweet with howie rose howie rose went on a on a monologue about it and he said it better than anyone else and i honestly on top of ranting about just the silliness of this, he came with a lot of valid points that I would love to hear Rob Manfred

get asked these questions point blank. Because there's a couple things that they do around the league. Does he do media availability? I guess Goodell does. I guess no commissioners do. Yeah, they should have a regularly, once a month. A State of the Union kind of thing. Goodell says he's available to the media every day.

Get the fuck out of here. A couple guys handcuffed in the lobby saying, this was a video, right, Kev? I retweeted the We Gotta Believe account. There's like a still picture of, if you just go to my timeline, this is how he rose. He's the Mets play-by-play announcer,

legendary announcer, New York guy through and through, and could not be more eloquent and precise about the situation. Major leagues. But as Wayne mentioned, the Mets once again are not allowed to wear their first responders caps during the game. They're allowed to wear them during batting practice and for the pregame ceremonies. Throw to first, LaCastro back, and I'm sorry, it is just incomprehensible to me that Major League Baseball cannot see fit to allow the Mets to pay tribute to those who gave their lives and in some cases are still doing so.

The 0-2 to Marte. I love when baseball announcers just weave the game back into it. It's so good. It's okay for MLB to foist those horrendous players' weekend uniforms on us. Right. They allowed the Houston Astros to wear Apollo 11 caps commemorating the moon landing 50 years ago. I mean.

Here's the one-two to Marte. Breaking ball looped in the air. Right field. Back a couple of steps. Nimmo, and he makes the one-hand catch. One out. And LeCastro goes back to first so with one away Eduardo Escobar coming up

the moon at a very very high level in Major League Baseball's hierarchy needs to answer to this I don't care if it's the commissioner if it's Joe Torre if it's somebody else of power somebody has got to answer this question whose rights are being infringed upon

by the Mets wearing first responder caps for one day in game? That's it. Those are the three things right there to me. You already did ridiculous uniforms on players weekend. So it's not about like, well, we have a classic look. We want to keep going. You look like assholes for all weekend to if it's a slippery slope and it's Pandora's box, well, you chose to open up the box for the fucking moon landing for a good thing. When I first heard Apollo 11, I thought maybe that was one of the ones that like exploded and blew up and

it was anniversary. People died. And I was like, Oh, okay, well, but it's actually just, we landed maybe on the moon.

Allegedly. So, uh, if we're going do that i certainly think we can we can honor nine fucking eleven and then the last question of like tell me who tell me who give me the answer of why who is who is being affected by this why can't they do it and why is it slippery and why is it pandora's box you fucking idiots the moon landing thing i didn't know that happened. That is crazy.

And it was a hat. They put a patch on the fucking hat, so exactly what they wanted to do, let them do it. In New York City. And honestly, not only is it rude and kind of disrespectful, but it's just a missed opportunity also. It's like even if you weren't doing it out of the goodness of your heart, there's reasons to say yes to this.

So all around, either you're a shitty person or you're a shitty businessman for saying no to this. Like who cares more about the moon landing than September 11th? Who? Not a fucking single person in the world. Well, I'm saying somebody at Major League Baseball obviously does. Right. There's some astronaut up there. Yeah.

They care more about the fact that we allegedly went to the moon than September 11th. Absolute lunacy. All right. We got to hit our first break. Mean Fight's got to pop out for a second to uh handle some business the mush is jumping in yes so the casey and mush uh love connection back after the break on cck You gotta tell me if you love me or not, love me or not, love me or not. I'm wishing for you, you're my lucky night, lucky night, lucky night. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, been wishing for you, my lucky nut, lucky nut, lucky nut. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, been wishing for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, been wishing for you.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, been wishing for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, been wishing for you. Sometimes I wish we could have a live stream of what's going on in here. Because Marty Bush. We do. People can see him right now. We can make people see him. I mean, yeah, we need people to see him.

God damn it. We'll get DMCA'd. Yeah. Unfortunately. Oh, damn. So we can't. So I'll just have to paint the picture here. So Fights and Kevin

went upstairs for a quick meeting. So obviously, Marty Mush stepped on in, filled the void. Since you have walked in this radio studio,

you have been dancing. I've humped a lot of air. Air humping and air spanking. Mm-hmm. And Zaha had to remind you that it's not Friday.

And you said something along the lines of like, our plans are trying to change, which makes me believe that you guys have some grand weekend planned. Casey. When I start going to Zah on a Tuesday, like Zah, what are you doing this weekend? It's all excited.

I mean, he's in here literally air spanking with both hands. I mean, I can't stop smiling. I can't. I'm thinking about tomorrow. Well, what's in here literally air spanking with both hands. I mean, I can't stop smiling. I can't. I'm thinking about tomorrow. I know. Well, what's going on tomorrow?

We're trying to go out. The dogs are coming out, baby. That wasn't a drop. Holy moly. I know that wasn't a drop. That was actually from Zah. So what's the plan? Tomorrow we're trying.

So the plan was to go to Hoboken because I'm not going to lie. It is. We are royalty there. I've never been to Hoboken. You should stay away. I should stay away? Yeah, you don't want to go there. But yeah, you should stay away.

I'm not even kidding. You don't want to go there. It's like, I don't want to. I can only go once in a while. Ah, you motherfucker. Come on. I'm watching Marcus Stroman pitch right now. That's why I'm going to, I will say some things when he's pitching.

But yeah, we're supposed to go to Hoboken. Now, a lot of people are very upset when they just have to go to Jersey. It's fucking 15 minutes away. It's kind of a pain in the ass to get out of the city if you live in the city. No, it's not, though. I live in fucking Ronkonkoma, and I'm going to Hoboken. That's way harder. But what's in Hoboken?

Just because you're royalty? No, not that. It's just a younger... The city gets like... Everyone's a prick in the city, you know? Everyone's a goddamn prick. And the gem is like, we go there all the time. Let's change it up a little bit.

And when the last time me and Zah went to Hoboken, it was, I don't know. Did we go there? Was that you? That was, I know the last time I went there, I woke up with a $400 damage bill from Uber. Yes, I was there as well. So that's what happened last time I. Do you know what you did? Oh, yeah. I threw up in the cabin. Yeah. $400 damage bill from Uber. Yes, I was there as well. That's what happened last time I... Do you know what you did? Oh, yeah.

I threw up in the cabin. $400. That seems excessive. I threw up everywhere. Trust me. If you had seen the pictures, I can show you the pictures. No, no, I'm good. I'm out on that.

No, yeah. Definitely worth more than $400. I was there with you, and it just got out of hand. It's a dance in place. I love dance. Do you like to cut a rug? I love good dance. I've got the chair dancing down to a

science now because of Zah. I feel good. I want to go out with the boys. We used to all sit at this one table at the old office and we don't talk to each other anymore. I still see Zah way too much. The video editor is that.

We don't see him no more. When it's the crew, who do you mean? So it's Tommy, usually Spider, Quigs, Trey, Liam. Yeah, it's a wild crew. It's really only content people. Yeah, Dana usually. It's usually just me and Zod. And Zod's not really content, but like, yeah.

And Tommy. It not in real content. Yeah. And Tommy. It's a great time. So you guys said the plans are changing. Well, it doesn't look good right now. What does that mean? It looks like everyone doesn't want to go. To Hoboken? Yeah.

Yeah, because it's a pain in the ass. It's a 15-minute path from here. I get home faster than most people that work here in the office that actually live in the city. Unless you live in the immediate area. If you have to get onto the subway to get home. So the people that live in Brooklyn. I get home faster than the people that live in Brooklyn. Oh, yeah.

It's a pain in the ass to go to Brooklyn, too. Oh, I meant to tell you. Schnitt Talk. Yeah. Oh, my God. They loved you? Loved me. Really?

I've gotten DMs. I've gotten like, I'm not even kidding. I think I'm about eight or nine DMs of just, I'm here for the research purposes. And I'm like, okay, what do you want to know? And I'm like, someone's like, oh, I guess I'll have to come over. What? Yeah, because I always said that I only have people come over. So this shit talk, I'll be great podcast.

I'll be on anytime. I really thought that they would end up hating you me too most i mean some definitely did just haven't spoke up it's just yeah some the vocal minority though they're in for the mush were you the one that was talking about being on the back burner yeah so what exactly was that i saw i saw i think like an instagram story or something let me read you a couple of these uh let me like it's they're saying like do guys actually have backburner girls yeah and girls have backburner guys well of course they do but girls will never say it i just said it i just said it very plainly i don't know i don't don't know. Let's read that. Okay. So this is a DM.

So is everyone going to say I'm lying? I'm going to read this. Yeah. He handed it to me. This is from, this is after Schnitt Talk came out featuring you. Oh, wow. Girl, pretty good looking. I'm going to go look at her profile.

Can't see it. Oh, you're not going to follow her? She's in her bikini though. Dana. I'll have Dana follow her and then. Okay. So this DM says, yo, so make me one of your back burners with multiple Oh, you're not going to follow her? She's in her bikini, though. I'll have Dana follow her and then see what she looks like. So this DM says, yo, so make me one of your back burners with multiple question marks.

Yep. I'm already texting one that lives near me. She's very, very looking good. They all kind of open it up with wanting to be a back burner? Yeah, most of it's that. I don't understand. I really don't. Don't even try. It doesn't make sense. Even I don't understand. Yeah, don't. Don't even try.

It doesn't make sense. Even, even I don't understand. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Like I understand the, the notion of like, it's a chase,

right? Like they're probably looking at you like, I mean, I want to be a part of this, but to just open up big, yo, make me one of your back burners. It'd be like,

if you were like married or something, it's like, okay, like you want to be like a side chick or something like whatever like not for me but some people are into that i know make me a back burner that's what i'm saying oh fuck i just had something to tell you too i'll get back to it eight three three eight five seven eight six six five it's just me and mush hanging out we haven't done a therapy session in a while so maybe we should do that did you watch me and john's video yesterday i loved it people the me and john came up to each other today we're like a lot of expectations to episode two

a lot of people enjoyed it and i also looked yellow and people were dming me saying that like i noticed that i have yeah if you go back i had this one girl literally dm is like hey i think you just need to know this that like i have a disease like she's legitimately concerned in the video with fights your hands are looking jaundice jaundice yeah you should get your biller biller rubin let me read this biller rubin that sounds like a sandwich it That sounds like a sandwich. It does sound like a sandwich. It really does. I just thought you should know. That's how she finished that.

She was very nice. I mean, yeah, she's making sure you're okay. I did look, I looked like a different color. I will say you do not look yellow in real life. That's good to know. That was the quickest meeting in the world. Yeah, that was a fast meeting, guys. People are worried that Marty has jaundice online.

You're looking yellow online from the video I noticed we both have a hue to us I think we're good DM's just telling me you better know you should get checked out I did notice that I think it's maybe the lighting in that room that video

is so fucking funny I told them that we really fucked up. What do you mean? Because now the next one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The expectations are very high. I'm so on board with that. I said this with my sports teams.

I don't like when the Mets have a huge lead or the Jets are shutting a team out because I know that means when we do lose, it's going to be a much more embarrassing storyline. I'd rather just have a normal lead. I'd rather not put out a super, super funny first episode. Like a good one. Yeah. Not even bad. Yeah.

But when there's a huge drop in week two. But I'll be honest. You guys are selling yourselves short because it's not like, you know, True Detective season one came out and everybody fucking loved it. And that's because it was Nick Pizzolatto's life's work for years and years and years coming up into one season. And then he only had like eight months to write the second season. It's true. Episode 1 of Making a Gambler was not the culmination of your guys' life's work.

It's true. He just walked into a fucking conference room and shook your dicks around and said a bunch of stupid words. So I think there's a chance you might catch some lightning catch some lightning in a bottle for week two, too. Because we did not do anything before that. No preface. It was so... Is that Todd Frazier again? Todd Frazier.

I wished all the bad things in the world happened to Todd Frazier and only Todd Frazier. And then I had to apologize. And then I rescinded, I retracted my apology. Now I'm rescinding my retractioned my apology now I'm rescinding my retraction on my apology I'm back onto the apology this guy this guy must be so fucking satisfied right now because he's just shoving it up my asshole and every other loudmouth dickhead Mets fan who wrote him off him and his wife and his friends and his family all from Tom's River New

Jersey are probably double middles to all the dumb fucking Mets fans who had no faith in him. I mean, look at these home runs he hit. It's a terrible swing. I mean, it's the worst. I fucking hate him. Nobody has benefited from juice balls more than him. He said something like that. You can't believe that?

He can't believe it. I mean, it's a bomb. It's 15 rows back. It's a no-doubter as he goes down to one knee and just fucking one-hands it over the fence. Praise Jesus. Hallelujah for the juice balls. And Todd Frazier from Toms River, New Jersey. Did you know he won a Little League World Series?

He's such a loser. I hate him. When he checks his watch every time he rounds second base, I'm like, you are the biggest fucking dork. But he's my dork right now. So I'm sorry I ever made fun of you, and I'm sorry I retracted my apology. I'm back on the apology, and we're back on the playoffs. Let's fucking go, Mets. I can't wait for next week.

I cannot wait for next week. All right, Marty, Dr. Rat over here, you think the Mets are making the playoffs or not? No, we went over this. They're going to sweep them like they are. They're playing Dodgers next, right? They're going to go with three games? Three.

Two and one. Because you're in, wow, beat the Dodgers 2-1. And then it's Marlins Reds where it's like, well, there's a one and five. Yeah, that would be the way they fucking rip my heart out. No doubt about it. I mean, it's just funny how bad the NL is. They're so bad.

I mean, I rag on Carabas all day long about the Sox, and they would win the NL wildcard. You drop them in right now and they'd be like, alright, your teams are gonna win. I don't think they're... I think they would probably like... If they were in the NL, I think they would win the wildcard. Yeah. I think if you dropped them in right now, I don't think their record is that good, but the point being, had they

been playing NL teams this whole time, I think they probably would be in the playoffs. I think right now they drop it. The NL's very bad. Three games back or four games back of the wildcard. Yeah, I mean, the Mets, I think they're four or five games over 500. You know? That's wild. And they're two games out of the wildcard?

I watched a little baseball this year. I watched zero NL baseball. I did not realize they were that bad. No, yeah, it's so bad. But, I mean, the Mets, this is what they do. And also, you know, the Nats right now are the guys who are firmly set in the one hole, the first wildcard. And then the Nats, you know, they don are firmly set in the one hole, the first wild card. And then the Nats, they don't do shit in the playoffs.

And the Cubs are, historically, they're terrible, minus the one time they won. And the Mets are notorious. And the Diamondbacks are in the mix. You think the Cubs are out? I think the Cubs are out. They're depleting. I watched the game last night.

They were so bad. They do not deserve to be in the playoffs. Even Dan says, I don't even want them to make the playoffs because they don't deserve it. They're just playing so bad. They did not deserve to be in the playoffs. Even Dan says, I don't even want them to make the playoffs because they don't deserve it. They're just playing so bad. I mean, the Mets obviously have had their moments where I can't even look at them. But then when they are winning, the difference is with this team

and other Mets teams in the past is they're young and talented and hungry. And so even when those guys falter, you almost can't fault them because they're young. Whereas the Cubs are still basically the core of a fucking World Series team. They should be a good, solid team. They're still young as far as it goes. Right. The Mets have an excuse, if you will, when they falter because it's like,

these guys stink or these guys are young. The Cubs should just be a good team and they're not for some reason. The Mets are just a team you don't want to play. Because they're so bad, they're going to be a story team. You hate a story team. And also, if they end up making it, they're going to have... I think Jacob DeGrom's going to win the Cy Young again. Probably.

I think... I almost know Pete Alonzo. Yeah, I mean, Scherzer has gone through a little bit of a stretch here where he's just been pedestrian. And RU just lost it. I mean, he's pitching this weekend. This weekend, Barstool at the ballpark. DeGrom, RU, unlimited beer, playoff teams on the line. Why don't we call him Ryu?

Yeah. Because that's the guy in Street Fighter, right? How about RU from him? RU's not – Yeah, the RU. I mean, it's RU. That was his name in Street Fighter, right? It was pronounced RU?

No. Well, I said Ryu in Street Fighter. RU is was his name in Street Fighter right it was pronounced RU no well I said Ryu in Street Fighter RU is what Marty just said RU that's right that's out the way

Marty just put your brain in a Dr. Rat is already all up in your brain RU we know is not the way

to say it Ryu is what I said in Street Fighter and Ryu is what he calls himself asshole what a fucking dick.

That's like J-Hap. Your name's J-A. Yeah. You can't have capital J, capital A, and call yourself J. No. Then it would just be J. What the fuck are you doing, dude? Yeah, I mean, the Mets,

so I think they're going to have a back-to-back Cy Young winner. I think they're going to have the home run champion. And Jeff McNeil, he slumped a little bit, so he's not going to win the batting title. But for like three quarters of the season, he was the batting champ. That's a team that's going to just sneak in the playoffs. That's not a team you want to see in a five-game series. And with DeGrom, with Syndergaard, with even Stroman, who hasn't been good,

there are names to throw out there to start to start that are very scary the problem is their bullpen i mean their bullpen is their everyone's bullpen sucks i know and that's especially in the nl yeah i know there's literally three good people and marcus is going to come around de grom's obviously sick and syndergaard is good and last night steven matts i know i know i got a fucking dm i just i saw it like 730 that, Hey, my buddies of Mets bullpen catcher, take the, take the Mets. Matt's looked sick.

And it was spot on. Did you do it? I saw it late. I saw that I would have fucking hammered, but bullpen catcher. Marty, what if I, like,

if I just created a bunch of burner accounts and I just start DMing you, like, will you listen to me all the time? Kevin, I walked past the couch. I had my picks in for the day. It was 12.58. Walked past that stupid couch with all those new guys.

They told me three different picks. I took them. And then I went over to Big Cat. I was like, hey, they took these picks. He took them. It's very easy to take a step. It's so stupid. You guys are so dumb.

Are you going to do this? It's eight or nine. Are you going to do this, John? Yeah. When you become a full gambler, are you going to be like a sheep? You have to... I think lesson two is going to be finding a bookie because I don't know

where to put in my bet. I think tonight you should let me put in your bet and then we should if it gets close at the end, we're going to have to go live for it. Yeah. You're going to charge a little big here for putting the bets in? You actually should do an episode on finding a bookie because there are a lot of people like, where do you put in your bets?

Oh, we are. We're going to have one come in. We got. You're having a bookie? We have. You should see the. We got like. You got it all set up.

A hundred episodes. This is going on next July. Now, I got a problem with episode one of Making a Gambler. Let me hear. And I don't know whether this was scripted, whether you decided this on the fly whether you genuinely believe this marty fuck your mother and tell your friends oh it's a fantastic catchphrase awesome i don't know why you why dr rat was so against that because it came out of nowhere it was fuck your mother tell your father holy shit we're getting crazy here hot board skateboard hot shot was awesome.

Little titty bitch is probably the worst one. Baby titty bitch. And then that's the funniest part about it. None of it was scripted. No, I know. You can tell. When fights start out like, I don't know, a unit, I don't know, a parlor, I don't know anything. So we brought in, I don't know,

the best gambler there is. Johnny, what's up, you big? That's why I say I don't know the best gambler there is johnny what's up you babe that's why i say hi over the morning you honestly you go to a different place too i think for a hot skateboard hot shot you go to a different place in your mind where you're like and then you you reenact your own like all right i'm gonna give you a setting your hair gonna flops around the fuck your mother tell your, I'm going to give you a setting. I'm going to slam him back and forth. And your hair kind of flops around. The fuck your mother tell your friends, like, his reaction to that, you could tell how genuine it is. He was like, oh, no, we can't do that.

Scary time. There's a lot of Kramer in you in those moments. It had to get to the point where, like, we were taking, like, it was, I had to just, I can't look at Marty's face when I do it. Yeah, yeah. I stare into Marty's mouth. I look at Marty's, like I do it. I stare into Marty's mouth. I look at Marty's esophagus while we're doing it. It's the only thing I can focus on that won't just make me break down.

There was one time where I was like, I want to smack you in the Adam's apple. The take was like, I just saw your Adam's apple. It was so goddamn big I had to smack it. There was a couple times where you could hear you start to laugh at him. We had to do it a lot. Honestly, the best part of the whole thing is not even the video the the picture

the the logo split screen face who did that uh bob young sound bob it looks it was yeah i mean the outtakes were probably unbelievable too oh you guys should do that there was one time we just like we're like like four-year-old boys just talking. It was because they were fixing something with the camera or whatever. I'm like, you ever just smack your balls around? Sometimes I go left to right. I go back and forth. Yeah, you guys are weird. No.

I go back and forth. No, they got to smash your legs. What's the point of going back and forth? It gets a better swing. I'll also tell you, if you're really swinging and you're having a day where it hangs low, it almost hits your ass. Yeah, I was like, what? It hits your ass. I said that. What, if you're really swinging and you're having a day where it hangs low, it almost hits your ass. Yeah, I was like, what?

It hits your ass. I said that. What, you got boulders down there? Like I said, it's got to be a day where I'm hanging low. You know, you got some short days,

you got some long days. And if you really start swinging, you get a little like, ready to get your ass. On the episode, I was like, I'm talking to my butthole right now.

I can hit the back of my cheeks. No, I don't like that. You don't have an ass either though, Marty. You got to have a fatty back there. I'll hit the back of my cheeks. No, I don't like that. You don't have an ass either, though, Marty. You got to have a fatty back there. I'll hit my balls to the bottom of my cheeks and make it clap a little bit. That's what we used to do in volleyball. We used to do this, and then right before we shake the other team's hand before,

you get a little. You do this thing, Paul? You do this thing, Paul? Bang, bang, bang, bang. Oh, yeah. That's just respect. Volleyball? I mean, you got to be a scumbag to play volleyball.

Apparently. Holy shit, man. What do you wear? What just disrespect. Volleyball? I mean, you've got to be a scumbag to play volleyball. Apparently. Holy shit, man. What do you wear? What kind of like, you wear like basketball shorts? Yeah, shorts. Because I remember watching the girls' team because they were always in like short shorts. It was fucking great. It was also.

I was hoping you guys were running around in spandex. Imagine Marty Mush in spandex playing fucking volleyball. I mean, people wear knee pads and shit. Do you? I didn't. No, I was sick. That's one of those things I could see being like, I probably would wear them. I'd probably be like, oh, you think you're

cool with your fucking skinned up knees? I'm just gonna wear my knee pads. Yeah, I mean, I literally told a kid I was gonna kill his family across the net. I'm like, I'm gonna kill your family. And then smash one right down on him. Do you have any footage? I'd love to see you fucking spike it on these fools. They wouldn't let me play in the back because I couldn't

really bend, but I only spiked the ball. What do you mean? Did you serve? What do you mean you can't bend? You got to get low. Yeah, I went back because I spiked it. Yeah, digs have to be in the back. They took me out.

You got to get low. The only thing I did was smash the ball. I was all Long Island. I mean, come on. All Long Island? Okay, now listen. All Long Island? I'm not trying to take away from you,

but I mean, how many fucking volleyball teams are there? Oh, Long Island's big volleyball. Oh, yeah. Six or seven teams? Long Island is to volleyball as Pennsylvania is to wrestling. Yeah, okay. Like the year after I left, it was all... It's like lacrosse down in the Maryland area.

Yeah, okay. Well, the year after I left, it was all like, that was their one sport they played. It was just volleyball. Really? Like they played year round. When we played, it was all like, we played baseball, lacrosse, all of those. It was just volleyball. Really? They played year-round. When we played, it was all like we played baseball, lacrosse. It was like our third sport. But now it's like that's all I play.

Interesting. Fuck that. Glory in volleyball? Volleyball. It's a great sport. It's really not, but okay. I just can't even picture you playing volleyball. What?

How many times have you played volleyball since? Never. It's not exactly easy to rally up the guys. Hey, you want to play something? You want to run five on five volleyball? That doesn't really happen, does it? Because you've got to jump. No one wants to jump.

That's how you break an ankle. All right, we're hitting the break. The Rocket will be back. We've got a full house here for CCK. Hour number two. Karabas has some fire in his eyes. He's got to take about Marty. When we come back, Karabas v. Marty.

Watch out. Fireworks in hour number two. There'll be time enough to count when the dealing's done. Every gambler knows that the secret to surviving is knowing what to throw away, knowing what to surviving. Knowing what to throw away. Knowing what to keep. I just keep on hoping that you call me. You say you want to see me, but you can't right now. You never took the time to get to know me.

We're scared of losing something that we never found. We're running out of reasons. New Post Malone is super fire. We were just saying how... Do you like this song? This sounds nice. It sounds like Post Malone. This one felt a little different to me.

You've never... Have you listened to it at all? No, this is Post Malone. I love this song. What's that? Have you listened to the album, Kevin? Yes. And you think that they all sound the same?

No. I'm saying historically, my knock on Post Malone, if you want to call it that, is that it's the same exact song every time, but I like that song. So it's just like, do I like Post Malone? Yes. Do I think he makes the same exact song every time? Yes. Do I think that this album is a little bit of a departure

and he has a little bit of a different sound? Also, yes. I think that you have to give an album or at least an artist, if that's how you feel about them, a solid chance. If everyone likes them and you're like, they all sound the same. That's how I felt about Greta Van Fleet. Robbie tried to

turn me on to them and I was like, every fucking song, I feel like it's the same. But you do like them. Didn't you go to their concert? I had never heard their music before. It was me,bie uh erica we went to the show and i was like i i didn't know a single song but then like you kind of like listen you can differentiate i also think that you need to like you know you hear it at a party you hear it in the car you hear it on your commute it depends on like where and how and when you're listening to music that you can really like

judge it like i said that about kanye is like old kanye you're listening to music that you can really judge. I said that about Kanye. Old Kanye I was listening to in house parties in the basement in high school. And new Kanye, I'm changing diapers. I'm not going to like that music the same way. So you have to kind of give it a whole like give it a try, whatever. 833-85-STOOL is the phone number. When pro football starts back up, you still just find yourself waiting for Saturday more so?

Absolutely. So weird. I had fun Saturday. I watched a lot of college football Saturday. Yeah, John watched a lot of games. I'll tell you what. I ran the game on Saturday. I watched college game day in the morning. I watched our game day show, which was better.

Much better. Way more entertaining. Then I watched a lot of college football. It was a fun night, fun day. The good news is that Connor just died because Tennessee fucking stinks. The good news is normally you can... Captain Collins died with Army. He

was walking the halls here today. He made me look like, you know, cheery and happy. He is a defeated... He looked like a little... They had no business being that. He looked like a puppy at the shelter who thought he was about to get adopted and then the family walked out and the puppy knows he's going to the slaughterhouse.

Knowing that it was against Dave. Yeah. But the thing about it, he was so excited to beat... You can't beat Dave with Michigan. If Michigan loses, he's just like, I don't care. I'm out to the Patriots. He's such a fucking dick. If they win, we're the best Michigan man, yada yada. If they lose, he's like, I don't care. I'm out to the Patriots. He's such a fucking dick. If they win, we're the best Michigan man, yada yada. If they lose, he's like, I don't care about college football.

He says that, but when he's on the show, he has to face the music. Because when they lost to Notre Dame last year, we just railed on him the entire season and he has to face it. And that would have been it. And in two weeks, we're going to Madison for Wisconsin versus Michigan. That has juice.

Even though they won, to be the number 17 and to be a field goal away from losing a fucking army army, I don't understand how you can like be a fan of army and the team because it is. I was I was a fan for them for the day. Right. And I wanted to win that game. Obviously, not even a Dave thing. Just like you like to see the big upset.

And I was ripping my hair. The triple option is how you can root for an option team in a Dave thing. Just like you like to see the big upset. And I was ripping my hair. The triple option is how you can root for an option team in a close game. I was like, just get to the line. Get to the line. It's crazy. Just like lining up regularly. Like, no, we need 10 yards. We need not four yards.

We need 10 yards. We need a chunk game right here to get into the field goal range. Just fucking move. And it's just like everything's just like, it's like there's seven minutes left in the first quarter. There are 40 seconds left in the fourth. It was incredible.

Like Georgia Tech abandoned the triple option this year and I said on the podcast, I was like, it's sad that they did it. It's like, who actually is sad that the triple option got,

because I like to make fun of it in those settings. If it was the team I was rooting for and they wanted to run the option, fuck that. The commitment to doing that, like year in and year out as the game changes, as your recruits change, as everything changes.

As the game situation changes. No, we know us. Yeah. We're going to do it. It reminds, you know, like Syracuse did it with their zone forever. They just played the 2-3 zone and like it just worked because college basketball, it just kind of works that way. But if you're in, you know, in crunch time and man-to-man makes sense,

you just got to fucking switch it up sometimes. But I guess if you don't ever game plan for that, it's like, no. You should game plan for like, hey, look, if we fucking get the field goal ring. You should game plan a two-minute drill. It's like the shift. It's like, yeah, I mean, I could bunt for a base hit now, but I hit home runs. It's like, we run the option.

That's just what we do. We bunt. Yeah. Over and over and over. This park, it's. That's just what we do. We bunt. Yeah. Over and over and over. This park, it's only 200 feet to left. Like, yeah,

we bunt. We don't do that. Thank you very much. Yeah, it was, I saw John on Saturday night when we got back from Clemson and it was nice

because we could actually talk about college football. He's like, I watched this game, this game, this game. I was like, I'm going to start gambling.

So I'm going to, I did my toes in the water. Are you serious? This is such a bad idea. Marty's going to are you serious this is such a bad idea you're already gonna teach me this is such a this is coming from a person who the a personality so addictive yeah that like i i could only i don't eat a popsicle i get a box of popsicles yeah that's i don't have one of anything i am the most addictive personality possible and it's also such a a weird job where I call my mom and I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get into gambling.

She's like, what? And I'm like, yeah, it's work. It's a lot going on at work with gambling. Because what it is now, even though it's legal, it felt like with gambling where I had been the kid who didn't drink, but I wasn't 21 yet. So it's like you're kind of a nerd, but it's not that big a deal. We're losers for not gambling. You're not going to these weird fucking alleys to buy a beer. You're living like a normal person.

That's fine. Now it's legal everywhere. Now I'm a fucking Puritan. Total square. You've got to do it. I am allowed as a 31 year old man to gamble in America. I'm a star. This is how it begins

and it ends with you in the gutter. I have an addictive personality, probably not near as bad as yours but I'm pretty bad. I can take it to water. John has looked me dead in the eyes and he said I'm gonna die of mouth cancer and I'm gonna keep dipping. You're toast.

You know that you're toast i mean that's it so you know you know that you're gonna end up broke from this right probably like my team and i was happy because they backdoor covered like i'm like celebrating on the plane i can't have i the conflict to me is is too weird also we have to like put you know you have to do locks on the show and stuff but it's like now it's become like if that game happened a few years ago when i wasn't invested in people that gamble as much as all these idiots do yeah then i would have been like oh that game was fucking terrible it still was because a&m stunk but that backdoor cover meant everything on that plane because everybody had

money on well when i was i was sitting in the live stream with blackjack and marty and they were freaking out about the jets because of gambling and i was thinking to myself and i'm sitting there freaking out just because my team's losing and I was like if I was also in a in a financial hole right now because of this I would really be suicidal like if I lost like two grand yesterday I would be

like I can't I can't do this ever again like straight up though I don't lose like that's what I'll say that's I don't even mean gambling I mean in life I don't lose. That's what I'll say. No, I don't even mean gambling. I mean in life. I don't really lose. I have two grandfather clocks to my name because I want them both.

I don't lose. He wins weird raffles and lotteries and prizes and all sorts of shit. Are you going to start betting on just the big games on Saturdays? It's going to start betting on just like the big games on Saturday? Marty's going to, we're going to do, it's going to be a video series. We're going to have a video series where Marty is going to be teaching me the road. Cause there's so much about gambling.

I don't know. I've heard the words. I know the language. I don't know. When they get going and they start talking like numbers and terms and shit. I'm like, this is like, you're speaking a foreign language.

I have no idea. The scene on the plane on the way back from Clemson. Cause we left that game at halftime, and they said we were going to have Wi-Fi, and telling Dan and Dave that there's going to be Wi-Fi, and if it's shoddy, it is not good, and watching them have to follow the gamecast

of the fucking Nebraska-Colorado college football game. I was like, this is why it's so addictive, but the money that's on it, they lose it, they don't care. They bet the same amount the next time. You are toast if you think you're going to win. If those guys can't figure it out, you're toast. What are you talking about?

You're toast. If they can't figure it out. They're idiots. But they know college football. That doesn't matter. It does matter. No, it doesn't. Clearly it doesn't.

Clearly it doesn't. Yeah, it definitely doesn't. So you think that you're just going to blindly bet. What are you going to bet on? I'm going to pay attention. I'm not going to be doing all the fancy stuff, all this fucking... No, I'm just going to go with my gut. I don't lose.

But how do you have a gut if you don't know? It doesn't matter. Just gut. Give me two things right now. What do you mean? I don't know. Any two things, I'll give you the better one. How do you know if they're better?

I'll tell you. Bananas and oranges. Bananas, easily. No, that's incorrect. It's definitely wrong. The gut lied on that one. All right, we're up for one. We're going to keep shooting.

We're going to keep shooting. It's 100% it's oranges. It's 100%. When I went no-brainer, I went gut. That one fucked me. So again, you're toast. Again, toast. That's amazing. That immediately backfired so that was like your big your big play of the week yeah yeah yeah yeah how much are we

talking uh what's your unit gonna be here we're gonna like i'm like it's gonna basically be like uh we're gonna figure it out like i don't know. That's another reason I haven't gambled because I don't know the price that would get me up where I care about this. Isn't it a price I'm willing to lose? That's a problem. If it's like 50 bucks in the game, I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

The rush of winning to me does not even come remotely close to the down of losing. Betting on a game, betting on blackjack, betting on any sort of like, all right, I'm up 1,000, cool, whatever. I'm down 1,000. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? It's not for me.

The weird number that I came up with for college basketball, 125. Honest to God, I think I was just going to say I'm probably around 100, 150 I think would be fine. 125 was the number that really tickled the balls. Because I was like, $100, I can lose $100, whatever, not a big deal. But you're not going to throw out $200. But $125 just felt like a little something. Yeah, I think I'm going to start at $10.

And that's not even worth it. No, it's not worth your time. I think it's going to be quick progressions. But I think the first game I bet we'll see $10. No, don't do that because if you if you win what's gonna happen is you're gonna get pissed that you didn't bet more yeah like there's no gratification there like if you lose especially if you make like an actual you win you're gonna be like fuck i could have bet 100 there's could have been an extra zero prediction if you say like yeah i mean these

guys are on the triple option there's no way that and you're and everything plays out right and you only win 20 bucks you're gonna be to be fucked. And you can't brag about it either. You're going to be like, oh yeah, fuck, I hit that over at the half. It's like, oh, how much did you win? Oh, no, no, no. By the way, we're going to make a very important rule right now. There will be no fucking bragging in general.

I'm not going to go down this road where you're talking to me about your gambling. You can talk to me about it. Do it with someone else. Well, yeah, that's why we have Making a Gambler. And it's going to be Marty teaching me how to gamble. But if you're, you know what I mean? Like if come Monday, a few months from now, you're the guy who walks in here complaining

about like the backdoor cover that fucked you. Like you and I are done professionally. Okay. He's going to, but you know he's going to. That won't happen. I'll just come in. I'll be coming in with like a new watch. Yeah, but I think it won't happen because I think as much as he's going to go down

this gambling road right now, he's there. There are two camps here at Barstool. There's the gamblers and then the non gamblers and the non gamblers are always like rolling their eyes or like fucking laughing about how it's the only thing gamblers can talk about at all times they walk through and it's like, did you see that?

And it's like, nobody cares. Yeah. So if you become that, you see that? And it's like, eh, nobody cares. Yeah. So if you become that, you are a sellout to the non gambling crowd, but he's going to be a sellout. Even if he's winning, which she thinks he's going to do it.

He's coming in. Like I'm very good. Just like I have different indifference. No, like different groups. Like I, I, I talked to these people about these things.

I don't know these people, these things. I could do that as easy. Yeah. Save it. I kind of do want to hear about it because I want to know how, like, if you just don't know anything about it, you're just gambling. You're definitely in a good spot. Like,

the less you know, the better off you are. Yes. Agreed. I mean, that's like the joke of, like, you know, when the person at your office who doesn't know a single fucking thing about college basketball wins the bracket. I was up hundreds of dollars in March Madness. I never watched a single second. Did you just bet on just the spread? I was with you. I was betting hundreds of dollars in March Madness. I never watched a single second.

Did you just bet on just the spread? I was with you. I was betting over-unders. Did you just always pick the favorite team? No. You just blindly guessed? Yes. That's crazy.

There's no fucking thing about it. I didn't read about it. Honestly, just as good of a fucking... They talk about that with the stereotypes with Office March Madness pool pool yeah oh the lady always wins because she picked the colors she liked whatever although i've never seen that happen in reality i'm usually that person i usually come in last i've seen uh the barstool world of like the brackets i'm the guy who's like i like the lion and it doesn't work i don't come close to winning and that's also just picking like a team to just advance like when you start getting like the spreads in there and the totals and all that

like to not just have no clue it's like oh clemson was favored by 16 and a half against a&m like that seems crazy to me that you just wouldn't take into consideration i'm paying attention a little bit i mean i think i will largely be a uh an nfl gambler that's i pay attention to bet on the patriots i would i would bet yeah hardy hardy dollars on the Patriots? I would bet, yeah. Hardy dollars on the Patriots. The Patriots are the stock market in general. There's fluctuations, but it's always going up.

I think they're the only 16-point favorite in Miami. Miami looks like garbage. Poor friend of the tank. He DM'd me. He wants to make a Miami Dolphins shirt. Like LOL. Poor friend of the tank. He DM'd me. He wants to make a Miami Dolphins Lolfins shirt, like LOL. I mean, he

is in a dark, dark place. I'm in a bad spot, but they got their dicks ripped off and shoved down their throat and then someone puked it up and they took it and they shoved that up their ass. That's what happens to Miami Dolphins. The team was calling their agents afterwards

and being like, get me the fuck out of here. Really? And now New England's coming to town? Yikes. What's the spread for that, like 27 and a half? No, he said 16. 16? Yeah.

Jesus. I mean, that's where football is stupid, where it's like you could be up three scores and then a garbage time touchdown or something like that and it does end up being right around there. See, that's an easy one to jump in with that one. You should bet like $5,000 on that. Yeah, but that's what people said about Clemson over the weekend.

I mean, I've always said that. College is more fickle. The Patriots are going to absolutely throttle it. They've lost in Miami before. Somebody DM me and said, I should get into live betting. Last year they lost. Like, I know in the exact moment when the Mets bullpen is going to blow a game. I know every Jets fan felt the game turning.

So, like, maybe over the long run or predicting games when they're on or when they're about to start, no. But in the moment, I feel like I know when it's about to go south. And I don't know what the lines are. I don't know how much action you can get there. I feel like in the moment, I... Listen, the second that this fucking radio show is over,

I'm going over to Big Cat's desk and saying, put $5,000 on that. Do it. I will. That's free money. See, this is great. You're going to do it? Yeah. You got to do it. And this is how you lose five grand.

No. I'm going to be rooting so hard for Miami. I mean, I'll put five grand on that. And then if I lose, then I'll put 10 grand next week. And then you become J.A. You're going to hit eventually. No, I mean, you really will. A number like that, obviously.

I don't know what your bankroll is these days, Rocket, but eventually the Patriots will get you out of your hole. I don't make a lot, but I save a lot. If that makes sense. I don't spend money on anything. Right. What am I going to buy?

Everywhere you go, the Rocket drinks are free, meals are free. It's true. You buy yourself a couple pairs of shoes and some new jackets. Meals are free. You know what I mean? It's true. It's like, what do you... You buy yourself a couple pairs of shoes and some new jackets. That's about it. That's really it. Straight.

Otherwise, straight. Cash. Homie. All right, let's get to some of these calls. 833-85-STOOL is the phone number. Fights, you need a bookie? Derek from Missouri is on the line. What's up, Derek?

Hey, what's going on, fellas and Casey? How's it going? Good. Good. So, how's it going? Good. Good. So, Fife is going to start gambling. I run a decent-sized sportsbook down here. And I have a second kid coming here soon. I'm very excited to play with me.

I'm excited to. All you know about me in the sports world is I win. Why would you want me to play with you? I do listen. because nobody wins. Nobody wins. This is like someone sits down at the table. I'm not even saying like I will win. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying historically

I don't lose. So future, I would be shocked. There's probably a bigger sample of history of overall gambling where nobody wins. I don't expect to win, but I'm just saying the evidence points to the fact that I will. Well, but Dave doesn't. No, it doesn't, because Dave's a fan of the same exact teams you are, and he's a fucking loser in gambling.

I win, and I'm like... The grandfather clocks, Casey. The grandfather clocks. Who owns two grandfather clocks that both won? No one. No one has... It comes down to the grandfather clock. Who owns two grandfather clocks that both one, no one, no one has, no one in this world. Two grandfather clocks.

Two grandfather clocks. You're forgetting the grandfather clock. The humongous piece here. It's, it's, it's a huge piece. It's as big as this room. Two pieces as big as this room that say I'm a winner.

Okay. If you're basing your entire gambling life on the two grandfather clocks, I can't argue against you. I can't do it. What was the other thing? Didn't you win like a... When I was a kid growing up, I had two TVs in my room. Zeniths.

One and both. Are you serious? Yes. They had taken out because I was watching porn on them. But they were... I did. I had two televisions. Wasn't there something with money and your dad sent us the thing?

Oh, yeah, by the way. I won $5,000 at a Patriots game when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. What? I was sitting in the correct seat at Sullivan Stadium. Kid's a winner. Just one. Kid's a winner.

They come down. They come down. They're just like, excuse me, sir. You have won. Who has a ticket to seat? Whatever it was. My dad goes, he does. And he points to me. I think I was two. And they go, well, you've won. Who has a ticket to seat? Whatever it was. My dad goes, he does. And he points to me. I think I was two.

And they go, well, you've won $5,000, which is to come up to the owner's box. It was before Kraft on the team. So I was up in the owner's box for the second half, hanging out with the U.S. Treasury Secretary. And yeah, I just win. And you had no idea what was going on, did you? No. Two. That's incredible.

That guy came out of the womb winning. I won the golden seats at a Bruins game one time. All I got was like a box of candy. I have won nothing. I won five grand. And I used to like, when I was like probably like in high school, I'd like get mad at my parents. I'd be like, I want my money. You fucking idiot.

It's in a college fund. I'm like, I'm not going to college give me five grand go play with your grandfather clocks and shut up i was like no one ever asked me what i wanted to do with it like you were too you goddamn fucking moron we're all encouraging fights to uh to go down this gambling addiction road but matt matt from from Chicago has other thoughts. What do you got, Matt? Hey, guys.

Love the show. First time, long time. John, please don't start gambling. I've been following you guys through KFC Radio for a long time, and there's a lot of personality traits I see in myself with you, and it especially is the addictive personality. Yeah, I know. But that's okay. That's not the point. And it doesn't matter

what amount you start with. Eventually, you'll be betting more than you should, and you'll be doing crazy things like yesterday I had put some crazy six-team parlay together to try and get back to even. Every year. Doesn't matter. Always happens. Did it work?

It did hit it. It did hit it. It did hit it. So this is not a good job by you at all, Matt. This sounds awesome. Sounds like a really riveting six games to watch. Yeah, but it doesn't ever happen that way. You always lose those. Just once every once in a while. Alright. I'll tell you what the real problem

is here for fights. You don't like watching football games that aren't the Patriots. And I know you'll have the juice because of the bet, but you don't want to sit around watching like random fucking Cardinals. I was going

to say Jets bills. Yeah. Yeah. You said you enjoyed Saturday. I had fun Saturday. Saturday. I had fun. I had a good time. I took a nap during that shit game because of the gambling on Saturday. Or just watch. No, I didn't gamble. I just fun. I had a good time yesterday. I took a nap during that shit game. Because of the gambling on Saturday? No, I didn't gamble. I just watched. I was watching sports, man.

Yeah, it's like I got away from it probably the last year or two. And I mean, I did not watch games, but I just watched. I didn't do the full Saturdays. And I did a full Saturday and I did a full Sunday yesterday too. And really nice weekend. Fat Jets bills, man. Not having kids is pretty fantastic. That was such bills, man. Not having kids is pretty fantastic.

That was such an unnecessary shot. We weren't even talking about that at all. That was just me. I'm still envisioning you running around at a party on Saturday. I certainly get it. And by the way, one-year-old birthday parties that your kids have to go to, that would suck. Because one-year-old birthday parties are...

It was good for like I like that shit because it's something for my kids to do. I like to go places with my kids and be like, go do this until you're tired. But you had to chase them around. It sucks for me. One year old birthday parties are really for the adults. I threw them into the bouncy house, so that's great.

It's like a cage. Just fucking jump in there. You get in there? Yeah, I did for a little bit. I was bouncing around for a little bit. Yeah. I was bouncing around for a little bit. Yeah. I love that.

That was my Saturday. That, the worst part about that Jets build a game was like, it was one of those shitty gross games. And that's, I thought I was over that. At least I thought I was beyond the Sanchez McElroy Tebow, Gino Smith era.

And I was like, I'm always going to get some good quarterback play. And Darnold just was not there. Maybe you should start gambling too. Oh yeah, that'll work. I have tried. Let's bring the mush to the financial world. What if, Kevin? No, it doesn't work.

What if in an alternate universe, you're so unfortunate as a sports fan, but when you gamble, you're just like Mr. Moneybags. Didn't you win the Patriots bet for the Super Bowl? Didn't we bet? Yeah, by an accident. Yeah. He didn't want to win, but you won.

I know. Maybe it's like the upside down one. All right, so what if I, maybe right now, I'll bet again, I'm going to bet on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl and the Yankees to win the World Series. No, you need to. But your mush isn't strong enough to take down the best of the best. You might be able to take down the Yankees.

I don't think you can stop the Patriots. The Yankees losing brings me such joy. Yeah. A large monetary amount of joy. Okay. So like, sure. If you win, then you win. Yeah, if I win the money, then it's like, whatever.

Dave was saying there's some. I mean, I am staring directly down the barrel of the Yankees winning the World Series and the Patriots winning the Super Bowl. I think that there's a very real possibility. Yeah, because it's never happened yet. You're definitely getting one. You're definitely getting the Patriots win the Super Bowl. Yes. And I know the Astros really should

beat the shit out of the Yankees. The Dodgers have a really good chance too. I mean, yes. But, the storyline is the bigger force here at play. The Yankees, Patriots year. Put the money.

It would kill me. I am hanging on by a thread. I don't really want to talk about that. To do October, February championship championship, that will crush me. The Patriots winning the Super Bowl can no longer have an effect on you. I'm with you on the Yankees.

If they win, it's going to be insufferable. The Patriots win again, who cares? Last year really was the first time that I was truly, genuinely like, whatever, dude. But if this year is an undefeated season type thing, if there's a Yankees World Series and then a 19-0 Patriots, I think I'll retire. Have we already talked about the schedule

and what the biggest legitimate threats are? Yeah, we mentioned the Chiefs and the Eagles. The second half of the season is tough. But they usually pick it up. Like December, they're usually at their best. I said that the big games are almost the ones that I'm putting them in ink. I feel like they're more prone to lose like a weird one.

Yeah. John, there's a bet that Dave was talking about over the weekend. You could get in and out of your new gambler. It's if the Patriots win the Super Bowl and the Bruins win the Stanley Cup, it pays out $5 million. I have to bet what Dave bets, $200,000? No, I don't think so. I think it was, I don't remember exactly what the year was. It's got to be a substantial.

Oh yeah. It's like 10 fucking dollars. It's a reigning Superbowl champions and the team that was in the family cup. That seems like it's a pretty good, uh, good value. Yeah. I don't know what the unit was on it,

but he was talking about, he was against 5 million. It's going to pay out. Of course, like betting, you know, uh, two teams in one city to win the titles is,

you know, it rarely happens, but when it's like you just described it's it's not like we're picking the mets and the jets here yeah you should get in on it's a team that was 60 minutes away from winning the title and the other team that did win the title it can't be it has to be like you bet two hundred thousand dollars i don't think it was i mean that's what dave bets on theots anyway. He's probably just like adding the Bruins as a tack on. I don't understand how he does this.

I just don't get any of it. I don't get how these teams keep winning. I don't get how Dave has endless money. I don't understand. Well, he fucking doesn't. He's running out of money. He's really down as much as he says he's down. Two years ago, Jared.

But then he keeps like Growing in popularity That's my point There's definitely I feel like Dave has to do Have you ever seen Trail Park Boys No I've heard good things But I heard you guys need a Leonard Kenney too

And I didn't like that Canadian TV Although shit's Greek really we're bouncing it out Anyways They come up with this scheme Like the big dirty Canadian TV. I'm iffy on it. Although, shit's Greek, really. We're bouncing it out. Anyways. They come up with this scheme, like the Big Dirty. And it's their robbery thing that's going to be their big payoff. Dave is eventually going to have to.

He's going to be down so much. He's going to have to have a Big Dirty. Where he goes in and the payout is so big. When I talk about how, when I watch the Jets and Bills, it's a different sport from when I watch the Jets and Bills, it's a different sport from when I watch the Patriots. What Dave Portnoy is doing, it's like a different life than I'm living.

It's like we're a different species living in a different reality. It's like, how is that happening while my life is happening at the same time in the same species in the same planet? It just doesn't make sense. So you would think he needs to come up with the big dirty.

And instead it's just like when his bookie died last time. What? What the fuck is going on? By the way, I think maybe Dave just murdered that guy. I think that was his big dirty. He murdered his bookie. That just doesn't happen. No, it doesn't.

He said over the weekend he's figured out how to win. just needs to be on a plane because when we got on the plane circling in his private jets and all his when we got on the plane he was down every single bet that was live when we landed in new york he had won every single one see like stuff like that it's just like he you know he takes off the, he lands, and everything's good. What? Yeah. I'm still waiting for, like, one good thing to happen. Have you ever, like, have you ever just, like, dipped your toe into the gambling world?

No, I mean, I feel like I have to just because, like, that is where the content is going. And if you're not on board, you're going to be left behind. But I really don't want to. That's kind of like the reason that I'm in. I really don't want to start losing money. I can't want to. That's kind of like the reason that I want to start losing money. I can't right now. That's where you need to do. Just not tell people what your unit is and just keep it a low unit.

That's what you need to do. So you at least are like somewhat invested in it, but like it's not going to, your kids aren't going to have to eat dirt. Right. Dirt. Sorry, guys. Sorry, Shay.

Parlay didn't hit. Here's dinner. That's a fucking clop of mud just don't ever say your unit your kids can eat it'll be fine yeah i mean that but then then you're the asshole like everybody know you know rico running around talking about his units and dave always gets mad when people are talking about you know their five dollar bet it's like yeah we get it you bet more than us dude but like I have no idea what Dan's units are, and I listen to him talk about betting every single day. So it's like you can just not say it.

Imagine if Dan was just out here betting like $10 a game. I have no clue. Let's take a call here before the break. Mike, you've been online for a little bit. What's up, Mike? I just want to say that the Jets are the biggest disappointment in New York sports history. There's a debate for you. Biggest disappointment

in New York sports history. I mean, you get four first half turnovers, and without your defense, you only score eight points that whole entire game. You've got to be a little bit better than that. Listen, I'm a Jets fan, but that's just that. No, I mean, it's terrible, and that game was an absolute

fucking clunker, but... The biggest disappointment in sports history. You didn't really have expectations. Yeah, but, well, I mean, he's kind of talking about, like, specifically this game and then comparing it to history, which doesn't make much sense. I mean, if you talk about... It kind of changes with the seasons to me.

It's like, I'll proclaim that Will Pond's the worst owner in sports, and then I think about Dolan in basketball season. And then something like this happens during football season. It's really like, I don't know, pick your poison. But the actual biggest loser in sport in New York sports is a I mean, that's a photo finish, man. That is like I've never heard you complain about the Jets owners. Woody Johnson is pretty terrible.

But the reason like any if if if. If I just like had the Jets, I'd be complaining about Woody Johnson. Yeah, but it pales in comparison to Wilpons and Dolan. So it's like he's, you know, pick your poison. He's the best of the worst. Yeah. Kevin said that's a good debate to have. I got one for you.

Would you? This is going to be obnoxious. We were having it on uh on the live stream last night 50 50 chance undefeated season yep or 100 chance super ball but you lose a few games what do you think wait 100 chance what super bowl but you lose a few games in the regular season oh you're You're going for your seventh, dude. Yeah, I'll take the seven guaranteed season.

In the 50-50 chance, is it like it's either undefeated or they just absolutely stink? No, no, it's undefeated or you're losing the Super Bowl. Oh. For me, it was a no-brainer. It was 100% take the Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? Yeah. Because Kevin, winning the Super Bowl is fucking awesome. I know, but you've done it so many times.

The one thing you don't have left is... Seven is the immortality. All right, so what about eight? I'd still take the Super Bowl. I'd still take the Super Bowl, mostly because I'm still genuinely upset about the ones that they lost. The Philly one, not so much,

but the two to the Giants really still bother me. At this point, I mean, I think, I don't think you guys realize how... No, no, no. I know how much this is. You should be willing to gamble one away because you've got so fucking many.

John brought it up earlier with the Steelers. Every time, it's like the Cowboys' arguments. It's always like, well, the Steelers have more, whatever else. It's like, for the rest of time, if Tom Brady say he wins 8, 9, 10, whatever it is, for the rest of time, they're going to be like, we had a quarterback in 20 years win more than your entire franchise. No, that I get.

But if it was like 8, if it was just like adding sand to the beach, but the one thing you didn't have, that you almost did have, is the undefeated season. Yeah, I would want to avenge the undefeated season. And by the way, 50 50 is a pretty good fucking shot. I mean, we're not talking about I just think that the Steelers number was seven. It's like

it's going to be gratuitous because they have the most franchise, but then higher that number gets, the longer you get to talk about it. I want to hire that number gets for Tom Brady. I want seven more than I want an undefeated season. Interesting. It was it was Hank was hemming and hawing a bit, but it was easy for me. I will

take the Super Bowl 100% chance every time. But if you get seven, then I would probably gamble the 50-50 before I took the guaranteed eighth. Right. That makes more sense. Let's take a break. When we come back, final segment of the day on this stupid Football Monday.