KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Games and Gaycations (featuring Mantis, YP, and Frankie)

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

Young Mantis lived at the Barstool office for a bit, just like Boris used to. YP and his rat deal with groupies on the road, di Weird Haircut Seth make the mural? The Death Snail debate. An offer from Kelsey for a gaycation with Kayce. The Lisa Ann effect on Barstool HQ. OUR Pornhub account. Feits wants another Cup.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of the CCK Podcast, presented by Postmates, brought to you by Boosted Boards. We got a shiny new toy here at the office, and, uh, it is... Hank has been just skating around the office, non-stop he's he's just like a full-blown skateboarder now yeah no he he's on he's on the on like a regular skateboard and we've got the electronic somebody is gonna be someone's gonna get laid as fuck because when you are cruising around on a boosted board you look cool as shit oh that's where you're going

with this so don't so don't let rudy get on a boosted board is what you're saying if rudy gets on a boosted board it's over for everybody it's basically over for everybody with rudy's running around as is he already looks cool he's just hovering around on a boosted board forget about it it's yo it is i haven't tried it yet i don't think i'm going to no you got it because it's cool it's like it is until you fall down and bust your ass and there's a million cameras around you're gonna you're gonna feel a little like Marty McFly hoverboard-esque. It's like you're not hoverboarding because you're still on the ground, but you're just cruising. You're just like floating around.

You're dangling Marty McFly in front of me. You have to, right? I'm in. Very cool. I mean, and the people who are – once you can take it out on the street, you can hum on those things. If you need to get somewhere, you can commute on that, and it's a legit way to get around what happens if it just goes so popular that everyone in new york city's on one yeah then what yeah right now like we're on the cutting edge of it if everybody has one watch out go to i looked up uh the the travel time so i did the

the bike route because i figured like if i were to go from here to my house in brooklyn it would like i'd have to follow follow the bike paths at least. And it was the same as the subway. It was like 40 minutes on the subway. I don't know how somebody can ride a bike all the way to Brooklyn in 40 minutes. But I think on a boosted board. You're not doing any work. You're just flying.

You got the trigger in your hand. It is. We are living in the future, folks. Live in. Boostedboards.com. Promo code KFC at checkout. Get 75 bucks off your vehicle. That's boostedboard.com.

Promo code KFC at checkout. Monster week of CCK. Some sort of original content on this show this week that you're not going to get anywhere else, quite literally, involving love letters, lesbians and gaycations. We had Kelsey call in right in, I should say, trying to one up Keebler's love letter. I love that this has become a thing, by the way, because it gives me all the attention. All the attention. And I love it. Just getting showered with just showered. And so that went from love letter to now full blown gaycation offers. Yes. So we talked about in that segment, which is later on in the podcast you'll hear.

Basically, Fights thought he coined the term gaycation, which apparently he did not. There were people on Twitter that were upset about that. Whatever. In my mind, Fights coined gaycation. So Kelsey, who drove to St. Louis from where she lives two hours away to hand-deliver the note to the boys of Barstool Radio

during the Stanley Cup Finals game, she listened to the whole segment. And she then DM'd me and said said i just listened to it fully and if you want to take a vacation a gaycation with me just so the boys have to come back for the cup let's go this girl wants to fuck you so bad it's great it's great i mean it's listen i i'm very straight very very straight but i think that this is so funny i think that a compliment from a gay guy is the best thing ever. So it's similar. Like if a gay guy thinks that you're hot or stylish or you look good, that's way better than a straight girl saying it to you.

You know what I just realized when I read this out loud to you as opposed to just like talking about it? I think she means I should come back for game six. Yeah, when the cup is back in St. Louis. She wants to have a gaycation with me game six. Yeah. When the cup is back in St. Louis. So she basically, she wants to have a gaycation with me this weekend. Yeah. So by the time this comes out, I might be on a gaycation.

Yeah. But I'll be honest. When I think of gaycation, I think of like, we're going to like go to like a tropical beach together. I don't think of St. Louis. No. My mom is from St. Louis.

I couldn't have a gaycation in St. Louis. Well, I think, I think the gaycation means it's temporary. No, I know, but I'm also thinking of it as like a vacation with a gay guy. If I'm going on a gaycation, I want the gaycation means it's temporary. No, I know, but I'm also thinking of it as a vacation with a gay guy. If I'm going on a gaycation, I want a vacation too.

Yeah, I want to be like, I'm going to go full-blown gay. I want to have a fruity drink and a Speedo. We dance at the gay club. I'm not sure that's Kelsey's offer. I think she's just like, you can be gay for a weekend with me. I'm more interested in the vacation part. She's more interested in the vacation part. Yeah, me too. She's more interested in the gay vacation part.

I am on record as well as Kevin is that if we are going to be offered gaycations, it also has to be a vacation. Deal. Deal. Would you actually

go on a gaycation? No. I definitely wouldn't, but I feel like chicks can do that. No, I feel like there is, it's a difference. It's the stereotypical,

like girls have a little bit bi-curiousness in them anyways. Yeah. But I also don't think girls making out counts as gay but guys making out counts as gay for sure so that's different it is gayer to make out with a guy than it is to fuck uh that's just not true that is it kind of it's not true i think i could have sex with a guy before i could make out no you could not i really think so that's preposterous making out is Yeah. But like a hole's a hole.

But I mean, making out is crazy. No, no, that's just I mean, yeah, I understand what you're saying. I understand like making out is like way more intimate, but you're not having sex with a dude before you would kiss a dude. I don't know. It's pretty fucking close. It's awesome. No, I wanted I was like trying to like not picture you in fights in this scenario.

And so naturally where you are, I have a problem with myself right now. No. I was trying to not picture you in fights in this scenario. That's naturally where you went. I have a problem with myself right now. I'd like to just somehow wash my eyes out with soap. Men in black, that shit. Just get that out of your brain. That was a really tough visual for me. I will not be on a vacation or a gaycation. I will be in my apartment this weekend getting everything delivered to me by Postmates.

Same. It is the best. The wine delivery. Talk about living in the future. I don't need hoverboards and shit. Just the fact that I can just snap of fingers and boom, get what I need. They're so convenient that I've gotten to the point now where when the delivery guy brings my wine and it takes him like less than 10 seconds to scan my ID, I get frustrated.

Like, oh, it's so easy now. I can just be in my pajamas and you can deliver me my wine. But please don't take too long to scan my ID outside of my apartment door. We're getting greedy. Postmates is spoiling the shit out of me. Do you get just like a bottle at a time

or are you going like bulk order? Usually a bottle at a time. Which is so silly, right? So you might as well just do like, it's like you're lying to yourself. No, I'll drink it. I know, but it's like, yeah, but you're going to,

all right, you're going to have, the next six times you drink, you're going to drink six bottles of wine. So why don't you just get six bottles? No, if I'm by myself and I'm trying not to have,

you'll drink two, you'll drink three, you'll just keep going. drink three it depends on what my mood it depends on if i'm mad sad happy but either way it's either way it's multiple there's never really any one bottle no but you get your booze delivered you get your snacks delivered you get your dinner delivered all meals anything under their 25 000 merchant umbrella and it gets delivered to you within the hour 24 7 365 and right now no delivery charge charge when you use the promo code KFC. So for the next seven days or up to $100 off of delivery charge when you use KFC. So download the Postmates app, search all the merchants available in your network, get your food, booze

and groceries delivered and use promo code KFC for zero delivery charge. What else we got here? We got later up in the episodes, we had the gaycation and the love letters. We had fights losing his mind. Losing it over the cup. Which, by the way, he has every right to. No doubt.

And by now, we will either be, it'll look funny as you listen to this because either the Blues are champions or it'll be game seven. That's why I think that it's great that it's in this episode because no matter like either the bruins got completely screwed out of winning the stanley cup or they're coming back to boston for game seven i the x factor for me right now is i realized i just now realized how plugged in yp is with this team i always knew it but i didn't make the connection that that chinchilla will be in the stanley cup oh yeah boris will be like bathing in the dust in the stanley cup like yp will get his day with the cup that you think they're gonna put the dust in the cup if they don't that is and i want that guy with the white gloves to freak the fuck out that guy who protects the cup like it's a baby like a chinchilla rolling around and dusting that thing you might get shot by that the protector of

the cup i didn't i never like really put that all together i am pulling even harder for the blues now because i want boris and i mean i also think i i i know why pete can't show his dick i think he's gonna show some butt if they wear the cup i think he's gonna show something i think he's gonna flash that wagon he's gotta which might be more valuable than the flop i think he's going to show some butt. I think he's going to show something. I think he's going to flash that wagon. He's got to show something more valuable than the flop. I think he'll end up naked. I just don't know if it'll, it'll get filmed and end up on purpose.

Will it be? Yeah, I could see. So whenever I did the sweater black Friday thing with the, you know, like the one bite, no pants. And he recreated it.

And he, he, I mean, he had to put his hand in front of his dick because it was almost showing. Yeah, we're almost there. He's going to do it anyways. He's not going to show it, but he's going to do

just slightly enough to where you can see it a little bit. Just the tip hanging out? I don't know. You put Boris right in front of him and just flop Boris. And just move at the last second. I can't. Whatever happens, whether the Bruins win and he's devastated or the Blues win and he's obviously over the moon

the content coming from yp during this i mean we've established i think riggs is here for his city st louis but yp he lives and breathes this team he's got friends on this team could you imagine being outside the barstool bubble or just like on the fringes and and knowing that like a chinchilla is part of the story of the 2019 St. Louis. Like we've had the rally parakeet and you have these like super fans that pop up, like Frank the Tank with the Mets. It's like, it's just, we happen to know him and we work with him, but to everyone else, this is always part of it.

It's like, remember that year we were down and we were out and we made the change and we made the run and then the Boris guy, like it's just part of the story. And there are a lot more people that know YP and boris than have put together that it's barstool right oh he is like i was like he was so worried about the the barstool dynamic and team port and i was like you got to represent for the blues fans because there are people who don't even know yeah and and lisa ann knew all about i was about to bring that up because his tweet i think it was yesterday so it was right after the bruins one or the blues one game five when he said if you told me that i got struck by lightning in the beginning of the stanley cup playoffs this year and i've just been

in heaven this whole time i would a thousand percent how great is that he's like living his absolute best life he was texting me the ability to have a couple threesomes yeah that well he was texting me the other night it was like literally saying like because we were talking about the radio segment which i'm sure isn't the best ever i was like you cannot ask your girlfriend if you can have a threesome you fucking maniac that's not going to end well i promise but he was texting me he was like i i hope you know i wasn't like really being serious but i'm living a fantasy world right now and i just can't pull the trigger on it and i was like no i i know that's why i told you not to talk about it on national radio and here we are talking about it on a podcast that hundreds of thousands of people

listen to good for him he's he's uh like the i think as much as he was upset to miss lisa and her making a personalized he texted me on the side no like no not twitter not public he's like a little kid i was like so happy for him he was like wow wow he's like did you tell her to do that i was like well yeah i told her to make you a message but she knew everything like she knew her own message to give you so it was the real deal and he was like wow what a week what a world i need to i need to wind down with my cbd it's been too much it's it's it's almost five o'clock on a friday that's really that's preposterous that i'm still here i'm going home i can't decide whether i'm going to going home. I can't decide whether I'm going to do the lotion. I can't decide whether I'm going to do the gummies.

I can't decide whether I'm just going to go right to the punch and do the capsules. I might do a bath bomb. I might do a CBD bath bomb and treat myself tonight. I didn't even know they had bath bombs. Oh, yeah. Well, I was about to say, this podcast and KFC Radio has totally infiltrated my brain. When you brought up lotion, I was like, oh, my God. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't know. Maybe that's some extra shit. No, but I didn't know there was a bath bomb. Bath bombs. I need a bath bomb. They got pet products.

You can get your dog some CBD now. Mellow out with your pup. Really? Oh, yeah. They got CBD dog treats. This is like a legit. I did not know this was coming out. CBD and DBG.

I did not know that. Because it's like you're not going to get them high. Right. And you don't have to worry about the THC. You don't have to worry about failing any tests. It's just like you're not going to get them high. Right. And you don't have to worry about the THC. You don't have to worry about failing any tests. It's just like you're just going to chill out. It's affordable. You're not going to fail any tests.

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Big week. Come relive it with us. We'll catch you guys on SiriusXM for another week of CCK Power 85. What were you saying before, A-Rod? I don't fucking remember. By the way, Mantis is actually living here. Did you know that? I saw tweets. I didn't know

He lives here He came in after the game on Friday or Saturday night And he was just here He has his retainer just on his desk In like a cup of water What? He lives here It was either Friday or Saturday night

Like shampoo and conditioner and a toothbrush and everything Where does he sleep? I don't know I was talking to Rhea and, so I said, I was talking to Rian for you this morning. So this morning he was sleeping in the green room. Can you get him? Alright, cool. Because I said it has to be

really, he's not even hiding it very well because if Dave found out then obviously it's like. I think he knows. I think Dave was. Well yeah, they were on radio but that's what I'm saying is like if you were living here and you were like low key about it, it wouldn't get back to Dave. But the fact that he's just out in the open living here and Dave found out it's like you're not even trying to hide it he's not the first YP definitely lived here oh he did yeah Devlin definitely lived here no no like in the old office yeah I think I think Mantis might be

the first person to live in this office yes but he's not the first person to live at a barstool office he's probably the first person has his at a barstool office. He's probably the first person that has his retainer just chilling on his desk. I mean, at that point, you just don't want a retainer anymore. Yeah, you're not a retainer. Or hide it. There he is. You hide it a little bit better. Come on in, big fellow.

I understand that you are taking up residence in the barstool office. Is this true? It is true. I'm not taking up too much space. Is this true? It is true. I'm not taking up too much space. Where are you sleeping? Room 25. What does that mean? That's the control center. The green room, they call it. But wait, the green room is

not the green screen room. No, the green room for people like A-Rod. It's a gray wall. There's nothing green about it. It's the green room. And you sleep there at night? Yeah. Well, I'm moving out today, unfortunately. Oh, so this is just like an interim thing.

Yeah, I was here just for a week. Oh, all right. What, you moved out of an old apartment to a new one? Yeah, so... Where's all your shit? So, this is a great story. So, I found a subways on Memorial Day. So, I moved all my stuff in.

And then the day after that, the guy that was subwaysing told me, hey man, I just told my roommates that you're living here and they're not cool with that. So you can't live here now, ha ha. Wow. So I texted this girl that I was talking to around Fordham

and she knew two other guys. So I hit them up and I found their place. But I couldn't move in until June 1st. So I moved in all that stuff yesterday. So I'm leaving Barstow, our hotel Barstool tonight. And what did you do? Did you have any furniture

or belongings or anything in the interim? You brought it here? I just brought one loadage. Where's all your other stuff? I hope he has other stuff. Now it's in the new apartment. But where was it in the meantime? It was in the one that I kicked out under 12 hours. Yeah, what'd you get kicked out of your old one for?

The fucking dude, he's like, you can sub lease off of me. Alright, but like your first... Where were you living? I was with Hot Sean at Fordham. Right. I'm still in Fordham. I just moved one block over. So why were you leaving Hot Sean's apartment? His lease was up May 27th, and I

couldn't... They didn't know I was living with them, so I was paying them through online cash. Got it. So I had to dip when he dipped. And that's where the people were like, you can't live anymore. Yeah. You can't live here anymore. Well, that was after the original.

There's three different places at Puglia. So there's Hot Sean, then a place that you're going to move into. They said you can't, never mind. We pulled the offer, basically. And then this new one. Yeah. And Barstow. And then Barstow.

So I'm in four places in like two weeks. And you got to do what you got to do in the city, man. It's funny. How did Dave find out you were living here? I don't know. I don't know. He found out because of the whole wire standoff in the Twitch room. Right.

So you had unplugged the Twitch connections. Evidently, yeah. I mean, not like, yeah. Well, yeah. I've been losing, like, yeah. Well, yeah. I've been losing so many brains since I was living here. Like, I forgot that I pulled wires. I heard wire and cable. There's HBO, I don't know, so many fucking terms.

So you were living in, you were hanging out in the Twitch room, and, like, you were, you know, I'm going to unplug this, plug that in. I turned on the PS4, and I unplugged a different cord and left it there. Have you been doing anything weird here at night? Have you jerked off here? No, I have not. No, I probably do that. I've showered.

You lived here for a week straight. I know. I wouldn't even be mad at you. No, I've been researching. It's like rub and toad areas. I haven't like jerked yet. 45th Street. I found one.

There's plenty. But I also just don't believe that you didn't jerk off here. I have not. I mean, like, I don't think that there's any shame in that. Like, if you had to live in the office for a week, like, you have to. No. Not one wet dream. Not one jerk.

Nothing. I don't buy it. I just don't believe it. I just don't believe it. Like I said, I can't remember the last time. It had to have been the puke dick girl in 2006. Last time I got at least a week without jerking off was 2006. Could you do a month without jerking?

No. Are you serious? No, I probably couldn't go more than 24 hours. I probably, yeah. What? I think like I'm trying to think. Yeah, man. Recently, there's definitely been weekends where I went like at least two.

Well, fucking Atlanta. No, no, I didn't. I don't think I jerk'm trying to think. Yeah, man. Recently, there's definitely been weekends where I went like at least to, well, fucking Atlanta. No, no, I didn't. I don't think I jerked off in Atlanta. Yeah, that was a lie. I don't think I did. I was roaming with fucking Big Cat. We were going to jerk off there. We had to, remember we got YP to like basically confess to us.

Yeah. That's great. I don't think I did. No, that was, yeah, because now I'm remembering there was no lock on the door. I was saying, like, the only reason I didn't was because of fear of, like, getting put on the block. Right. There was no lock on the bathroom door. If I was just living here for a week, it would happen.

You'd be surprised. I don't know. I'm a busy man. I don't have the desire to jerk it. What were you doing at night? I was being, don't throw me on the journey. Editing, spending time in the shower. Dude, the shower's so dope.

I saw Donnie did like a shower review. Yeah, yeah. There's not even a curtain on it, right? There's no curtain. No, we need one.

We need curtain first, then the Wi-Fi. We should handle that after. Promise you. I, uh, why is there, like, why is there a shower here?

I don't know. It just encourages this sort of shit. Might as well get the gym in here to compliment the shower. And you were sleeping on a couch? Yeah, the comfiest couch in the world. It's better than my mattress. I promise you,

to spend one night is the greatest luxury living. All right, well... How long do you think, if you had to live in this office, how long could you go without jerking off? If I knew I was living here indefinitely, yes. I just wouldn't try.

I'm here for the extended future. I'm just going to jerk off. I mean, what are you shaking your head at? How about you, Casey? Every single time you guys start doing this, I just always, I love this glass now because I can just turn, and all of them just start dying laughing, and then they start filming me just being in misery.

If you were living here, you would masturbate. First of all, I would never live here ever. Okay. But you, what if you had to? I don't think, I would think I'd be like Mantis. I'd just be like, no. First of all, if I was a girl, I'd be like all the time. What's the fucking difference?

Who cares? Why would you live here? I just wouldn't because I would want, I don't, from a content standpoint, I just wouldn't want to be the person that would live here. It's free root. Yeah, I guess your dignity gets not you. I've lost my dignity for 22 years. It's

been gone for a while. Not you, but if there's a I feel like if there was a girl living here, it's way worse than if a guy was living. If you live in the office, you're a fucking loser. Not you, Mantis. But like i'm talking about other people i just said that i personally would not want to be on radio with everyone being like she lives here that's just well but it's also it was it was pretty uh it was anticlimactic

when he was like well i just i like had a i didn't know you i didn't know that it's different like when yp came here he just lived here yeah dev Devlin didn't have a place to live. He lived here. And you just were kind of killing time. But if you told me... The retainer thing is gross. I don't see a problem with that. It's in a case. That's disgusting.

From what I understand, it's not in a case. It's in a cup of water. Or a cup of water, yeah. That's disgusting. That's what I'm saying. I clean it every day. It's highly different than a case. I brush it every day after I brush my teeth.

It's clean. But it's just out on your desk. Yeah. Does it hurt you? Does it hurt anybody? No, not physically, but I'm just saying that. Maybe mentally, yeah. It's gross.

That's the difference between a ticket and not getting a ticket. You got an open container. It's just a retainer. Yeah, I know. It's gross. Retainers are disgusting. They get like, ugh. I mean, they do. They're all gross. They can't do that. But, I know. It's gross. Retainers are disgusting. They get like, ugh, that can get all gross.

They can't do that. But that's more what I'm saying. I honestly thought you'd just been living here forever and people were just finding out about it. I was like, what is he doing that people are finding out now? And Fran was like, well, his retainer's out on his desk. Yeah, that is pretty tough.

Living next to the kitchen office. Like you didn't even want to hide your retainer you just out in the open no shame no shame buddy won't jerk off here yeah if you had if you if you said to me dude you have to stay in the office like for this weekend like it's friday three-day weekend you're gonna stay in the office i could control myself if you told me that it was just like uh no like if you if you there's an extended period of time i would just just be like, well, no. Right, yeah. Like I'm saying, it probably wouldn't be as often as I do. I'd have to pick my day.

I mean, I would hope not. Why not? Who cares? Does it bother you? I'll come on you, Kevin. Let's hope not. I'm just saying, you know, if it's as often as you do at home, it would be like, you know, you never leave the bathroom.

Right. Yeah, like sometimes, some days it just fucking hurts. Just like, God damn it. You're just mad at yourself afterwards. Like, I can't believe I did it again. Yeah, it's like swollen. I got duped. Yeah.

I might even. You got duped? Yeah, you get duped into doing it. It's like, ah, I'm just like scrolling the internet. Maybe something catches your eye. It's like, gotta jerk off. It's like, I don't even want to do this, but I'm doing it. It just hurts now. It doesn't even feel good at the end of just

checking a box after a while it does start to hurt yeah and it gets that way like the third time in one day it hurts it's like swollen at the top kind of like top middle yeah it looks like it's like oh wow like giving my dick an indian sunburn again i don't want to do that man the first time i went i went so i went so many times in a row that i thought i like broke my dick yeah it was like y, something's wrong. It wasn't going back to its normal shape. It was like, this has been forever altered. I think I've changed the shape of this thing forever.

You ever jerk off so many times in a day that when you go to piss, it looks like a firework on the 4th of July? It just sprays out like, poof. Yeah, because it's clogged up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you guys curvy or straight? Is your dick curved to the right or left? No, it's just down the middle. I think everybody's got clogged up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you guys curvy or straight? Is your dick curved to the right or left? No, it's just down the middle. I think everybody's got a little curvature.

No, I got no curve. No curve? Oh, well. I probably go like two or three degrees to the left. No, I'm fine with that. It's like one of these. Jared just put his fist up like a Black Panther. We're coming for rubber.

Shit. No, you're going to killther. We're coming for rubber. Shit. You're going to kill Casey. I think I go a little curve. Yeah. Curve back. I mean. My left. You're right.

Okay. Got it. What's up, Casey? Where you going? Uh-oh. She's choking. She's being dramatic. She's like, no, no.

She's going to throw up because we're talking about her dicks. Get out of here. I think she inhaled water. You're supposed to drink it and not breathe it. We're all human. By the way, I don't know what Casey's wearing today, but she definitely looks like a college... It looks like she woke up after sleeping with a guy and put on

his dress shirt as her outfit for the day. You're a walk of shame today, Casey. Especially with the Arizona. This kind of does have a Halloween costume vibe or like a hoes and pros type of theme party sort of thing. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like it, but it's just I mean, you look nice. You look nice today. That's all that matters.

It was on the dress rack. Uh-huh. It does look like a guy's shirt, though, you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't care. As long as you don't care. I don't know. I give a fuck. Yeah. All right. Let's hit a break. Thank you, Mantis. Oh, thank you. Go back to your bed. Appreciate it. Good night. Good luck in your new spot. We'll be back after the break.

We're talking about the mural here. If you were listening yesterday, there's a picture that has been added to the mural that looks exactly like Todd McShay when he did the Combine video with us. And Moonman Sam, who did the painting, he said that it's weird haircut Seth. But it looks so much like McShay. I think what happened was that he or someone said, let's put Weird Haircut Seth on there. He asked for a picture or a video of him and somehow ended up with a video of the combine because that's Todd McShay. It looks exactly like Todd McShay. You can attest to this.

Does that also look like Stephen Wright to you? I can see... Is your mic on? I can see Stephen Wright, but it's still... It's one of those things where once you see one thing, you can't really see the other. I didn't see Tom and Shane until you said that yesterday. Now I can't see anything else.

But we just need to ask him to show... Who did you base that picture on? Just show the picture. Don't even say who. Just say, can you show me the picture that you painted that after? And it's probably Todd McShay's Twitter avatar. Because it don't look like Weird Haircut Seth. Because I don't even like. That looks like a man.

Weird Haircut Seth was like 20 years old. Because I'm also thinking Weird Haircut Seth was in the video where he tried to throw the football. Yes. So what if someone was like, get me the football video when they were out in the park, like near the office. And they showed him that. I don't know what weird haircut Seth looks like. I just know the name.

And I know that he was at the crux of the, the, and I mean, his hair definitely is his weird haircut is because it's like hairlines. Terrible. Yeah. And this is like,

it's like Todd McShay's hair is like bangs coming down the front. It's Todd McShay. I mean, now it's kind of just like, if it is Todd McShay's hair is like bangs coming down the front. It's Todd McShay. It's Todd McShay. Now it's kind of just like, if it is Todd McShay, you just have to leave it there. Oh, yeah. No, no. Now Todd McShay is on the mural. That's it.

It's actually fitting because McShay kind of like, he knows Dave personally and he's part of the old. Why would he be in heaven? I don't know. That's the tough part. Why would he be dead? It's open to interpretation. R.I.P.

Todd McShay. Todd McShay died? People are going to come in here and be like, is Tom and Shayne dead? What happened? I love it this way. I love it. It's so much better than just, like, there's Weird Herc at Seth. I mean, like, now, like, it's almost like we should have done this mural smaller so that other pieces could fit in.

Like, Pirate Simon should be up there and, like, go with the Pirates. Maybe the guy from Texas that we can't talk about should be up there. Who's that? The guy from Texas. Tex?'t talk about should be up there? Who's that? The guy from Texas. Tex? Yeah. Oh. I was never going to get that one.

You couldn't give me 100 years. So, speaking of 100 years, if there was a snail commissioned to kill you, all it has to do is touch you. It is a super intelligent snail. It has a GPS tracker, so it knows where you are at all times. And if it ever touches you,

you die a horrible, horrible, gruesome death. And all it ever does is track, like it goes after you. How much money would it take for you to live that life? But it moves like the pace of a snail. It still moves as fast as a snail. It still moves the pace of a snail. It's the death snail hypothetical. It's taking the internet by storm right now.

John's so stupid. John's so dumb. What did you say? I mean, I... You can easily... John said he would do it for a month's salary. He also said he'd wipe a guy's ass for a year for 60 grand. Like, what are you...

I stand by that. Like, why are we even asking him these questions at this point? The month's salary was kind of just a little hyperbole. But, I mean, I would do it for, like, 10 million. Oh, 10 million was the initial... What's the lowest number thrown out for it? Well, the hypothetical... It was weird.

The caller said, $10 million to play this, like, death game with a snail. Do you do it? But then he finished off the call saying, how much 10 million dollars to play this like death game with a snail do you do it but then he finished off the call saying how much money for you to play this game so but i guess you know i do it for 10 yeah i mean i feel like if do you get the 10 million up front yeah yeah i would like you could easily pay someone to like watch out for the snake well that i think is the move you have to hire people like while i sleep i just have like snail security what if you just put like have someone you have to have someone watch it because that's that's expensive just have someone attached to it because let's say you can't stop it right yeah you can't like just put a bowl over

it and be like right but let's say i can't kill it i can tie a boom box to it and it's got the strength to carry that boom box that's fine that thing's playing who let the dogs out full blast hold on yeah that's i'm not gonna know when a snail's in town yeah that's what you'd have to do because you know i'm also if we're talking about a super intelligent snail i think that that snail can get on a plane that was my next question itself into a train i think can't you just fly across the country like it's it going to do? Swim? I think it's going to hop on a plane. The world? I think if it's a maniacal, diabolical murder snail, and its goal is to get to you, I think it

hops on a plane. What if instead of using a boombox, I attach a GPS, I pay someone to attach a GPS to it. And I know where the snail's at all times. BC said something this morning about what if you just pay somebody to film it the whole time? So you know where it is. Yeah, just have like a live stream of it attached to it at all times.

Because people are just saying like, oh, I'm just going to go across the country. John's initials said, I'm going to go across the country. And then as soon as he shows up, I fly back across the other side of the country. And then you can't catch me. It would take a snail about 10 years to come across the country. But you're not thinking – 0.3 miles per hour. You're thinking about the snail.

Snails are not going to chase you. The snails are going to come to work. The snails are going to go to your parents' house. The snails are going to go where you know

it's going to go to the 7-Eleven where you get a tin every day. I changed that up already. I don't like people knowing where I'm going. I got about six spots I'm always going between.

Such a freak. A murder snail is going to be a lot more crafty than just like, well, if he's in California, I'm going to go get him in California. Yeah, I think the GPS you have to do because, like, then if you're doing, like, the every 10 years you switch coasts, then if you have a GPS on the snail, you can warn the airlines like hey don't let this snail well that's what i i said that i would have had lobbied the faa to be spraying down all planes i mean by the way you're not gonna be able to do that with 10 million dollars yeah you have to do that with way more change the airline

industry's safety precautions for your snail no way you you also are trusting people to be actually be on the lookout for a snail like how ridiculous would it tell someone, hey, there's a snail trying to murder me and it might get on this plane. Well, you just got to find somebody that just needs the money. Yeah. Like find a homeless person. But that's the thing. You know what?

They take that job seriously for like a day. Hey, homeless guy, here's $500 to monitor a snail. Okay. I'm going to go buy a bunch of crack. No, no, no. With this $500. Yeah. You got to be selective with the homeless people, but you can find like you don't give

them just five. I wouldn't even do it with a homeless person. I mean, I'd just hire a college kid. You're a retired police officer. You take 60 grand a year. Congratulations. I would not trust that. That kid would lose that snail so fast. On day 10, when you're like,

all right, this is getting stupid. I'm just sitting here staring at this thing that moves.029 miles per hour. All right, but you can quit, but you've got to give me three hours. No, I'm not saying he's going to quit. I'm going to say he's going to lose it. Yeah, he'd hour. All right, but you can quit, but you got to give me three hours. No, I'm not saying he's going to quit. I'm going to say he's going to lose it. Yeah, he'd be like, oh, whatever.

I can go to the bar and have a couple drinks because this snail is going to move across the room while I'm gone. He'll be here when I get back. He'll be here. Can the snail only kill you or can it kill anyone if it touches you? Your brother's going to fucking not care either. I think my brother would care. You've got to find somebody that has.

I think everybody would eventually be like, I got this. The snail's not going anywhere. I'll be right back. And then when it's gone, it's gone. Can the snail kill anyone if it touches it? No, just you.

Okay, because I was going to say, like, if you hire someone to monitor the snail, what's stopping the snail from just killing it? No, I think it's just you. What if you say, like, if you find somebody

that really wants to hook up with you and you're like, all right, every single week that this snail does not get to me, you're getting paid, but I'll also have sex with you.

Oh, that's such a fucking hot girl comment. I was going to say. Yeah, that person doesn't exist in the real world for men. That is a one-way street bitch. Hey, you dumb bitch. You got a bad idea? Hey, as a little bonus this week, babe, I'll fuck you. You got a bad idea?

I thought it was a great idea. The stupidest idea I've ever had. I thought it was a great idea. For a very select few people, yeah, babe. I'll fuck you. Is that a bad idea? I thought it was a great idea. A good idea for a very select few people. Yeah, sure. Not going to work for us. None of this guy. Could you imagine no men in this room are using their dick as payment? None. I put that on my Craigslist ad. Yeah, you get a little sex on the side.

Lucky you, babe. Are you fucking kidding me, Casey? Okay, well, maybe it's a good idea. That's a drawing board. Yeah. Hot girls can use their pussy to fucking save for sure. Not for sure. But I'm saying that they wouldn't lose the snail.

If they're like, you're also getting paid. You're making however much money, 60, 70 grand a year. And that's an incentive on the table to not lose the snail. I'm just telling you right up right now. There's not a woman on the fucking planet that I would follow a snail for for $100,000 a year, I'm just telling you right now. There's not a woman on the fucking planet that I would follow a snail for for $100,000 a year. I'm not saying you.

And I get to fuck her once a week. I'm not saying you. I'm saying that there would be people, men and women, that would do it. $100,000 a year is a pretty good salary. I would lose the snail. I'd do the same thing. I'd get so goddamn bored.

Who's your number one girl on the planet? I honestly don't know. I don't... John's gay. I don't think... Do you think you have a clear number one? I always say Beckinsale, but now she's kind of tainted with Pete Davidson. Do you have a number, like your number one girl on the planet? I did, and now I don't

anymore. There's like, I don't know, there's like a bunch of hot girls. I have nostalgia hot girls. Instagram ruined that. There's so many hot girls. There's no more like number one. What if Kelly Kapowski asked you to do it? Tiffany Amber Thyssen is like 55. I'm talking about Kelly Kapowski.

She's 12. What's wrong with him? It's an idiot. What do you mean? She's in middle school. I think like... When you were also that age. I'm following a snail tomorrow. All right, whatever. You wouldn't do it for a hundred grand and the chance to bang like whoever you want.

Emily, one girl once a week. Summer Ray. I mean, I guess I do if I could keep this. Well, I can't keep this job. I got to watch the snail. Yeah. I mean, whoever you pay to be your designated snail watcher is inevitably going to slack on that job yeah like what if you just had what are the shifts is it like a nine to five

no it's a 24 24 7 100k is not enough but here's the thing is like what if you could just you have a live camera on this snail all the time you can still come to work and there's just cameras it's like a security job they're not sitting in the fucking elevator. They're watching the elevator. He'll pull a Keanu Reeves sort of thing in speed. He's a super intelligent snail. He'll figure out a way around that. He can't get any faster. He'll use his brain. He's got a big snail brain.

This snail is fucking up my whole day. When I saw you guys argue about it on Twitter. Woody, he'll jump in cars and stuff. He's still a snail. I think a snail can find its way on a plane. What if the snail... How? Hop in a bag. But how do you get to that bag?

It takes a long-ass time, but I'll get to LaGuardia. I'll get to baggage claim. I think it would take him longer to find a way to the airport than it would to get... You're talking about a whole lifetime, bro. He's probably going to get to the airport and get on a delayed flight. He's got all the time in the world. If someone's got a delayed flight, you get in

a bag, you get on the plane itself. So the snail can read. Yeah, it's a super intelligent snail. He's reading tickets and being like, this guy's flying here. How does he find that? I'm not following you on your plane. I'm getting on a plane to where you are. But how does he know

where I am? GPS. How would he know which bag to GPS. Okay, how would he know which bag to jump on? Because people are flying all over the country. How would he know? I don't know. Could you figure it out? Yeah, I'm a human being. How do you know which car to get in to go to the airport? How do you know which bag to jump

on? You know that bag's going to LA where John is. I mean, he could just slowly crawl his way to fucking the airport. I think you're undermining the aspect that it's a super intelligent snail. So, like, if you can figure that out with your brain, assume that the snail is going to be smart. But see, I'm tall enough to where I could look down at a baggage sticker and be like, oh, that bag is going to LAX. I need to get on that bag. It's a fucking snail.

What are you going to do? LAX is boarding a gate 10. All right. Oh, look at that. Near gate 10. Hop on. Okay. I bet that you guys are giving the snail a little too much credit.

It's a super intelligent death snail, bro. So it's smart. I think you're taking it very lightly. Are we saying a human intelligence or just a super smart? Like the smartest dog in the world is not human intelligence. I was thinking about that, like a super intelligent snail. Like what's a snail's intelligence? What are we talking about?

A snail has two brain cells. So it's a human brain. Super intelligent, diabolical human in snail form. Where did this come from? The internet. Somebody got really high and wanted to talk about a death snail. This was like a voicemail question?

Yeah. It's going viral again now. I think we did this with Dan five years ago. I don't remember. We repeat shit all the time. It's like I don't even – I mean we've done thousands of these stupid fucking questions. I would find a way to die from that snail.

Well, also like – once it gets me, it gets me. Well, I was going to say like just – all right, give me $10 million. Let me spend $990,000 of it and then like – I think I would do it for $10 million. Come get me snail. As long as you get it all of it, and then, like, come get me, snail. As long as you get it all up front. Like, I get, like, what, drawn and quartered? Like, how's a snail drawn and quartered? Yeah, I don't know.

It was, like, whatever it said, it was just, like, a horrible, horrible, painful death. The most horrible thing a snail could do, because... It was poisonous. I don't know. It gets on your skin and just makes your skin nice. No, no, stop. I die like Joffrey? Big fucking deal.

No, no, no, no. Like, it burns your skin. Stop. Like, eats you. Just, like, consumes your skin Big fucking deal. No, no, no. Like it burns your skin. Like eats you. Just like consumes your skin. That sucks. See, I think the thing is, it's like probably you're probably safe. Probably never going to catch you.

But you got to think about it. Yeah. It's kind of like that. Like, you know what? I lost track of him. I don't know where he is anymore. What was that horrific death that you showed me on YouTube from that movie or whatever? Bone Tomahawk.

Yeah. Oh, no. Split him right in half. I guess maybe I wouldn't do it because I think we've had that guy calling into Barstool Radio telling his bank robber stories, and I asked him,

at any point, did you stop worrying? He got away with it for three months, and I was like, did you ever not wake up? He was like, they're still looking for me. And he said after two months, he was good. He was like, no, I made it they're still looking for me and he said after two months he was good he was like no i made it i'm set what was this it was this guy kept calling and telling horrible bank robbing stories and dave kept hanging up on him be like nope try again tomorrow try again tomorrow and when he finally got it or maybe it was even the time before then what do you mean got it like he finally told the story

good it wasn't he wasn't he like a an anti-barstool guy too no that guy was that there was an anti-rob anti-barstool bank robber yes who we called or who called in and we were we just want to talk about bank robbing we didn't care about his anti-barstool he was the one who wrote the blues the barstool partnership with the bruins are shameful um and we're like oh never mind like you're not even an interesting bank robber but then someone else called in on his heels. And he was a banker. He's like, yeah, I did eight years, robbed three banks. I think he only robbed, like, 40 grand total or something like that. That ain't worth it, man. I know.

40 grand is certainly not enough for a death snail. Nick from California, what do you got on the snail? Yeah, the snail thing is hilarious to me. I mean, why wouldn't you just like carry salt with you everywhere doesn't like well you can't kill the snail but well you're not technically killing it but if you have like salt like trailing you yeah like if you i was saying it's almost like a vampire with uh garlic or whatever that like wards them off if you just like surround it you live in a a mansion with a moat made of salt,

that snail ain't crossing through that salt. Not necessarily killing him, but it's... But I don't know. A super intelligent snail probably can find a way around the salt. What is it? I'm a semi-intelligent adult, and I got nothing. How to get around salt?

There's salt in your way. i don't know not if it's just get around it get over it yeah you need to just have salt like everywhere you go that's cool you need to hire someone to just cover you maybe carabas you can just get some yankee fans probably salty joe josh from south carolina how do you beat the snail hey so you're thinking about running away from the snail what you do is you pay someone to pick the snail up with tongs you put it in a box with a little camera on it inside another box full of salt and then you can just take the snail wherever you go

no you can't like you can't trap the snail you're saying like you can't just like put a bowl over the snail so he can't move you can't just put him in a box. It's too easy. There's rules of engagement here. There's rules of engagement to the murder snail. Put some respect on his fucking name, Jared. The murder snail? Yeah, death snail. I like death snail.

I like death snail better than murder snail. The death snail. The death snail, because it sounds like the Grim Reaper snail versus the murder. He's going to murder you, but like death is coming for you. Murder isn't coming. Death is coming. I guess the lesson here is that if you're just looking over your shoulder for your whole life, it ain't worth it. You just have to pay somebody else to do it for you. Yeah, but can you ever trust that?

I mean, we pay people here who don't do anything. We hire them. Everybody that we hire here to do a job. They don't do the job. They end up doing something else. So I hire you to look at my snail. And next thing you know, you're trying to be on camera at Parcel Sports. Yeah.

You're supposed to be looking. You're supposed to be looking at the snail, dude. Oh, sorry. I was trying to get on. What the fuck is happening today? Soledad O'Brien is here. She's right there. Who?

Soledad O'Brien. She's right there. She's been here all morning. She's got a casual million followers on Twitter. No big deal. They're doing like a news piece. It's probably a hit piece. Real sports with Brian Gumbel.

That's cool. Is it real sports? Yes. Oh, shit. Yeah, she's been here all day. She was this morning. We did the group chat for Snapchat, Rian Franchot, and she was here bright and early, brought in pastries, brought in coffee for everyone. That's cute.

Definitely hippies. I mean, right? At one point, they were filming B-roll, and they went over to the Rockets desk, and Jared has one of the old school barstool newspapers with a hot chick on the cover. The Red Sox, yeah. I think it's like the Red Sox fan is sp spanking the yankee fans ass yeah like spandex yeah and like liz sits right across from the rocket and i'm just looking at them filming i'm like this is they're gonna be like look at this woman sitting next to this desk here you know like so let's hope they're not doing that when i

we were talking about the bachelor this morning and i said something along the lines of there's just too much too much testosterone going on around here. But I met The Bachelor, but I was like, shit, if they clip that out. Oh, well, the talk we had at one point, they were like, we just want to film you guys interacting. And Liz and Casey started talking about Joe Manganiello, Sofia Vergara's husband, and just how they just want to fuck that guy. I was like, see? See?

Are we? Where are we? Huh? Yeah, he's coming in in June. Liz and I requested that you guys do that interview with your shirts off. Could you imagine if the tables were turned? I would be like,

yeah, you know, M. Rad is coming in to do chicks in the office. Can you guys do that? No, I'm saying, if it was, can you guys do that interview with your tits out, please? Just objectify it. Literally, that's what you're asking. Yeah. That's what you're asking for. We were talking about magic.

I thought we were doing free the nipple movement. Where's that at? Yeah. No, we were talking. Yeah. Listen, I wouldn't be offended if you said that, but it's not the same thing. Asking a girl to sit topless and asking a dude to sit topless is a little different. I'm just saying.

I disagree. Bullshit. I mean, I'm all for like freeing the nipple. People want to show their tits. Who cares? Nipples are nipple. Jake from Saratoga as we wrap up here. What do you got on the snail? Hey, about the snail. I was saying to get away from it

you take that money and then just like jump in a bubble like the movie The Bubble Boy and run around in the bubble for the rest of your life. You look a little silly, but it's a good way around it. Well, that's the thing. There are solutions, but it's just like, is that what you want to do? Yeah, you want to forfeit sex for the rest of your life? Yeah.

It's like, hey, you want to come inside my bubble, girl? Plus, you probably couldn't even let a girl in your bubble because if you're existing in the bubble, then your immune system is going to be terrible. You can get in and out of the bubble, though. Yeah, you need to. Yeah, like at night, I want to go out drinking and go to the bar. Well, I'll make sure that I have very high surveillance on the snail tonight and then tomorrow I'll get back to my bubble. My concern was the snail getting

above me and dropping onto me. So you're just like, alright, I got it. We're good. Let me get out of my bubble. Can snails get up there? I bet you they can crawl up. Like spiders? I think so. They're all sticky. Can they just like suck their way up to the ceiling? I think they're a little too weighty. I think they're a little too heavy.

I bet you a snail can get up on a ceiling for sure. I don't think so. I think the shell would weigh them down. I know this is a very particular area of expertise, but there has to be a snail expert out there that can call in and tell us. I was doing some heavy googling on the planet today.

Like I said, I know how long they move it. 0.03 miles per hour. It would take them 284 years to crawl around the world. Land snails that are kept in a tank with a lid will often climb and hang upside down from the lid. So suck my dick. Yeah, they can definitely get up there. How long would it take for a snail to go around the world?

I think 284 years was the number, 286. To go around the world? Yeah. Damn world. What is their average lifespan? I feel like that would be if a human was walking. I would have guessed like 10,000 years.

What's the average lifespan of a snail? Good question. Don't know the answer. I think they lived for a really long time. I lost internet fast. They didn't have

internet. We flew on a fucking shit plane here, by the way. It was crazy. It was like a plane you take from Boston to New York.

It only says two to three years. No, no, no. Obviously, it lasts like forever. It's not just like I got to, it only says two to three years. Obviously. Oh, no, no, no, no. Obviously it lasts like forever. It's not just like I got it. Now we're just making shit up. Well, Jared, it has a GPS tracker on you. I mean, we're already making things up.

But you said it was an established thing though. Cause like if you're like, okay, so it's a, it's a very intelligent death snail that's trying to murder you, but you can also do your research on the snail. Stop. Stop the presses. Can a snail kill you? Cone snails, because they are slow-moving, they use a venomous harpoon to capture faster

moving prey, such as fish. The venom of a few larger species is enough to kill a human being. The cone snail will fuck you up in regular actual life. Forget about hypothetical world. I could take a cone snail. We're way bigger than fish.

I'm not afraid of a cone snail. If there's a cone snail listening, come in here right now. And if there's no water, how the fuck's a fish going to get in here? Yeah. Plus, I bet you the worst is going to happen. That means a snail can go into the water and kill a fish, and you guys don't think it can kill a human? Plus, I bet you, like, the worst is gonna happen. That means a snail can go into the water and kill a fish

and you guys don't think it can kill a human? No, no, no, no, no. That, like, they literally cited the biggest animal it could take down. In my life,

I've challenged all the spiders in the world to come eat me. They haven't come yet. I challenge any cone snail to come kill me. I dare you to make it happen. We're back. So is my guy, Zah.

Just killing it on the ones and twos fight still joins us it was awesome dude dude he said he said uh like if he could pick he would actually za i'm gonna challenge you on this yesterday i said you know it's funny that it's wild that you live these two different lives and you can go like through the through the village in africa but also you're here in front of all this technology and everything and And I asked you, you know, if you could pick one life, which one would you pick? And you said, at home in Africa. So why don't you fucking do it?

Oh yeah, really? Just go. So the problem is you can't make money in Zimbabwe. Well, so then shouldn't that factor into your decision? I'm trying to... So it seems like you're choosing here, then. Here's the thing. I'm such a hoard of money that wherever you offer me here, then. Here's the thing. I'm such a hoard of money. Yeah, man. I feel you, dude.

Wherever you offer me more, I'll go. I'll go. So cost of living, it's actually more the nominal value that matters to me than the real income. Because real income-wise, Zimbabwe, without a doubt, my quality of life is astronomically better. I mean, I fucking travel on the subway here. Yeah. Actually, I don't do that shit in Zimbabwe. Yeah. I thought you loved trains, though.

I do, but... The subway's a little... He likes to be the conductor. Yeah, there we go. When you're alone in the conductor's cab, like, instead of the... And let's not compare the L train to the Xcela. Yeah.

So you're saying the nominal value means just, like, the... Yeah, so cost of living is way, way, way cheaper. So, for example, a Bud Light went out. The equivalent of the Bud Light when I went out was $1.50. It was $1.50 in Zimbabwe, whereas here it's $7. So you make your money here, so the plan is what people usually do. But so again, why don't you just go back then?

I haven't amassed enough. So I'm trying to make my own life. I'm not trying to live off my... I've been fortunate enough to be born in a family that's a little bit well off in Zimbabwe terms. So my parents are... So you want to make enough money here to where you can go back and live a comfortable life.

Bingo. So you're stacking bundles. How long would that take? What's the end game on that? You know what? 200 grand saved up and I'm good for the rest of my life. Okay. That's how easy it is.

Pretty good. Yeah, you're going to get there, I feel like. Yeah, $200,000 saved up, whereas here you're $4,100 on average. Well, if you do it properly, it's like what you have to invest. You end up with like over a million or something if you do it properly. You're talking to the wrong crew. Way out of my league. What would you do with this? You're talking to the wrong crew. Way out of my league. What would you do

with this snail, by the way? I, shit. We're actually debating back here. I hate moving. I hate moving. Yes, you'd have to constantly be on the move. Yeah.

And the thing is, you can't trust someone you hire, too. So I don't know what the fuck I would do. I would be fucked. You can't be, like, if you're out in, like, Zimbabwe

and you're in the village, who knows? Tons of wildlife can get you then. Yeah, I didn't eat. Yeah, I'd be like, if Zamba back to Zimbabwe, I feel like a snail might get him. What was the snail that kills people? The cone snail will shoot you with a fucking harpoon. You're right about that one. Oh yeah, there's a lot of shit that can get me out there. Alright, so.

Earlier this week, or last week, whatever, Keebler, this creepy little midget who's like 4'3", listens to Barstool Radio. Do you want to refresh people's memories and read the Keebler one again, or no? Come on. Fights is so upsetting. You know what? I think in order to do a proper comparison, I think you're going to have to.

Kate's not in here. Can you grab it? Go grab the first a proper comparison I think you're going to have to. Can you grab it? You want me to grab the letter? Go grab the first letter because I think in order to do proper audio of you reading the first one. Oh actually yeah if we have that we could do that but if, do we have that?

Let me look through. It should be on Barstool Radio's Twitter. I wasn't here so let me get to that was there a full a full version of me doing it that would be way better because you did the reading kevin oh yeah oh i didn't know that yeah it's a little careless whisper people people were telling me that like i shouldn't have done that like they're like i can't believe you did that like why what are the i'm gonna do that for that every goddamn fucking time guys the like fran and ria

and it was more than just the girls there are people out there they're like if you read it frankie said the same thing like if you read it on air you're you're basically asking him to be a stalker no giving him the attention we had keibler on hold as kevin was reading it so there was a there was like an immediate post show i mean he's just a creep like he called in and i stepped out because i like, he wanted to talk to me about it, Fights. And I was like, well, if you can get past Jared and Kevin, then I will listen to what you have to say. It was wild. All right.

We got it. You guys want to hear? Okay. So wait. Before you press play. Is this Fights' first time hearing it? Yes. He's read it.

I've read it. I haven't read it. I mean, I aborted the mission on reading it very quickly. Keebler. I do really bad with awkward stuff, so I might die right now. Keebler wrote the letter. Then we have a second letter that was written to us by a lesbian named Kelsey who wrote this letter to prove that men are so bad, straight men are so bad at writing love letters that a lesbian can write a girl a better love letter than a straight man. So with that in mind, listen to Keebler's letter, and then you can listen to i'll do a dramatic reading of kelsey's as well

afterwards for a couple years the only girls that caught my eye oh no the internet's gonna be a bitch this whole time isn't it i have seen jared so much i hear the most amazing voice in my life this woman sounds like she smokes a pack a day and won't stop talking about Texas. I resent that line, by the way. I don't think that Casey sounds like that. No, and also, even if you did, not a great start for a love letter. No, thank you. I had to find out if KFC

brought an ugly girl onto his show because he would probably try to fuck any hot chick in the office. When you finally said your name, I jumped to Instagram to find the most fuckable girl I have ever seen. Every photo on your IG makes my

dick tickle. Not even tingle. Tickle. Like, that sounds like an STD. Your dick should not tickle. It should tingle, maybe. You're a lover of sports, wearing that tight... Oh my god. She is wearing a tight red dress. You're a lover of sports wearing that tight. Oh, my God. She's wearing. She is wearing a tight red dress. You're a lover of sports wearing that tight red dress.

And the fact that you're a lover of the Aggies lets me know you're pretty easy. I started writing this on paper. Yeah, he's not great so far. I started writing this on paper. But every time I got done with the first paragraph, my handwriting would get progressively worse. Mainly because your IG would make me want to touch myself and my hands would start to shake.

I say your name over and over again for inspiration. Just saying your name makes my nipples go hard. K-C. K-A-Y-C-E. It isn't spelled normally. It's actually spelled like the runner-up to a trailer park

beauty queen contest. Still, saying your name makes me think of the most beautiful things in life. The Grand Canyon, the Rocky Mountains, and of course, your eyes. Those eyes have seen so much. You've survived cancer, progressed in your career, and have probably taken

57 dicks to the face. I know once you see me, all of that will be over. By the way, all of that will be forgotten. You said to me that you were five, eight and that you quote, never go for someone shorter than you. If you live by that rule, you will never find true happiness. I can give you more than you ever imagined. I promise every girl I give my heart to the same thing.

These are the three things he promises. Oh, no. Now, I think part two. One. I will eat you out every morning, not caring if it's a little yeasty. Gross. Yeasty. Let that one breathe. Ugh. Gross. Yeasty.

Let that one breathe. I'll just spit on that bitch and go to town. Number two, I will never flirt with another girl, so you don't have to worry about me pulling a KFC. Number three, I will never be a douche. Let's be honest, no one needs to act like Jared. If you're looking for money, I don't have it. If you're looking for communication, I listen to your podcast all day.

I don't want to hear your voice when I get home. If you need someone to trust, I'll lie about how I didn't check out Ellie in the elevator. Don't focus on what I can't give you, though. Focus on what I can, sex and lots of it. You'll always be the most beautiful woman in the elevator. Don't focus on what I can't give you, though. Focus on what I can. Sex and lots of it. You'll always be the most beautiful woman in the room. You'll always bring a smile to my face, and I'll always go to bed thinking about you. Unless Fran sees this and likes what she hears. I'll wrap this letter up with a quote. Everything is bigger in Texas. That stands very true just by looking at you, your heart, your smile, is like, yeah, whatever this letter says. This letter could be like, what's up, Casey?

The bar is pretty goddamn low. I mean, like, that wasn't even a letter. That was a roast. You know what he said when he tried to defend it? He said that he had been watching Comedy Central and that he thought roasting a girl was a good way to go because it makes girls laugh. Then he said that he was not only is Kiva the shortest person on the planet, he's the stupidest person on the planet, too. Yeah, he is. Moron.

So Kelsey hit me up on Twitter, and she said, can a lesbian write in a letter to you? Because this has been a thing on CCK for a while. I said, yeah, absolutely. So she told me she lives a couple hours outside of St. Louis. The boys were obviously in St. Louis yesterday for the Stanley Cup. So she said, if I take off of work and I drive a couple of hours to St. Louis yesterday for the Stanley Cup. So she said, if I take off of work and I drive a couple of hours to St. Louis, will I be able to hand deliver the letter to somebody that

can get it to you? I said, yeah, I gave it to Fights, Frankie, Dave, whoever. They will bring it back. She said, okay. So she called into work. She drove two hours to Barstool Radio yesterday, and the letter has officially made it back. And that's dedication. Now, if I can insult Kelsey real quick, trust the USPS far more than you trust me.

It is a goddamn miracle this letter got back here. You could have just not taken off work and mailed it. Oh, yeah. But I'm sure she wanted to see Barstool Radio, too. I'm sure it was kind of like a whole thing. If she was doing that anyway, sure. But she said she wasn't. But she wasn't.

So, I mean, probably would have been smarter to just. She was the dumbest person on the planet. This wasn't a very genius move. She got a day off of work, though. Well, she just took a day off of work. Not like they granted it to her. I don't know what she does for a living. I haven't really dove too deep into her life.

I just know that she wanted to make sure. Maybe you will after this love letter. She wanted to make sure that that letter got to me. And, you know, I'm a straight female. But I might not be by the end of this letter who knows dear casey wait can we put the music oh yeah we gotta do careless whisper again gotta keep it apples to apples here dear casey first off just like to say thank you to you guys like kiebler because of because of him off, I'd just like to say thank you to guys like Keebler. Because of him, lesbians have the opportunity with women like yourself. Jared, she spells your name wrong the entire time with two R's.

Just for reference. Jared knows a little bit about that too. Got him because you fuck girls who turn into lesbians. I fuck girls who are bisexual. Big thanks to Jared from the Lesbo community. Happy Pride Month, Jared. Welcome. Now back to Casey. Now back to Jared from the Lesbo community. Happy Pride Month, Jared. Welcome. Now back to Casey. Now back to us, Casey. If you've ever been curious, then girl, do I have an opportunity for you? If you thought for a second that boys know what to do with their

tongues or fingers, you're wrong. The lesbians invented the cooch gobbler. I'll give you not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven geysers. When I got that DM, it was like Hurricane Casey down there. But don't worry. This isn't all about sex. Except when we were hanging out on the rooftop pool. That's not what's going to be. That's not the only thing that's going to be wet.

We'll be having all the fun drinking bowls of wine and going on dates. When all said and done you'll be back at my hometown meeting my parents and of course i'll love to go to texas to meet your family our love story started on may 31st 2019 and it's going to continue forever can't wait to be kelsey and casey hansen it has a good ring to it start thinking of hashtags for our weddings love kelsey it was. It's definitely better. Definitely better. Why?

I would never include like meeting family thing. I think it was, it was, I think people are just disgusting. Like, why? I can't imagine. I wouldn't say these things in like the real heat of the moment sex and stuff. What? I'll give you geysers. Yeah, I just don't think that's a love letter.

That's smut. Can I weigh in on this, please? That's painting a picture. That's not a love letter. That's an erotic novel. What if Casey's into that? I am not going to be a lesbian anytime soon, but I kind of was into that letter a little bit.

That's the goal here. She's obviously paying attention to what I talk about. She threw in the rooftop pool. I've been trying to get in the Soho house for a while, the bowls of wine. And I mean, just the fact that she can also throw shade that guys don't know how to get girls off, which sometimes is true.

Kind of here for it. Most of the time. Just to clarify, most of the time. Majority. She said it was Hurricane Casey down below when you DMed her. What you just said proved my point to me. What? Because your notes from this letter she said it was Hurricane Casey down below when you DM'd her because your notes from this

letter are not about the erotic fan fiction they are about her paying attention to you and I think that's what a love letter is yeah it's nice when somebody pays attention to you and remembers things that's what girls want throw in a little sex talk and you're golden

if I was a lesbian I would go to St. Louis right now for that girl. Okay. So would you consider writing her one back? No, because I'm not a lesbian. I know, but like... Yeah, you got to fire one back. It's kind of like saying thank you for being attentive. So why do I have to fire her one back, but not all the other guys we've made a CCK segment?

You should do that too. You should write back one back. Should I just start writing? Every single person. Yeah. This I think was very, I thought this was boring. This wouldn't do it for me. It's just so much better than Keebler's.

Yeah. But I mean, fine, throw out Keebler's. She didn't insult me once. Is this on itself, by itself, is this a good love letter?

See, this is the thing from a lesbian. Like I was expecting something really graphic, like really graphic, not to say there wasn't some graphic things in there, but like really graphic. Travis saying was expecting something really graphic, like really graphic, not say there wasn't some graphic things in there, but like really graphic. Travis saying they're like,

listen, I'm just, I'm not into that. Like, good for you. But she didn't do that. She teetered right on the line of like, let me tell you what I could do to you. But then like,

I'm not going to go so far on the other side where you're like, okay, well, it was also everything she's doing to you because obviously that would be the direction that, that's, I don't, I,

yeah, I don't think that it was a bad letter at all. She threw in the LeBron quote. She put not one, not two, all in quotes. Geysers is a, Geysers is,

that's a visual. That's a visual. That was a descriptive, descriptive word. Um, I, I feel like I'm also giving her brownie points that she drove to meet the guys. And the delivery of the letter. I don't think she was stupid to not mail it.

I think she wanted to say like, Hey, I'm putting in that extra effort to make sure. I never called her stupid. I just said, I think we did. I just typically use that word. I think I said,

I think we use that word. I think I said, it was a not genius move. I, I appreciate that gesture. I also think that it's great that she just immediately jumped on the facts. Because we have to bring up Keebler's letter. She did that to prove that guys can be trash.

Yes. So if I was a lesbian. Which, by the way, also, we prove by ourselves. Yeah, I'm just saying, if I was a lesbian. Every waking moment I am proving I am garbage. And I was trying to draft someone to the other side like she is. Then, yeah, you jump on the heels of some trash love letter like Keebler's.

Now, Casey and Kelsey Hansen, that's a bit of a move. That's a bit aggressive. If a guy ever came up to you and was throwing out his last name Depends on who it is. Yeah, a normal, a regular fucking guy. If he's like, hey, Casey, you're going to meet my family and we're going to be like, oh, Kelsey's online.

Hey, let's go. Kelsey from Illinois, what's up? How we doing? I'm doing good. How are you? Well, we're just debating your love letter. It seems like, Jared, where are you on this one? Like grade-wise? Yeah.

I give it a... John and Casey liked it. I said I liked it I wanted more I wanted more like descriptive That's because you want to hear two girls I want to hear smut Yeah like if it was a dude you wouldn't want to hear it

But you want to hear what a girl would do to me Yes So for that I give you a C plus Let's go rockin' That's right Sal let's go Let's fucking go Let's go. Let's fucking go. Let's go.

The way the way Jared that like hit his brain, he was like, well, yeah, exactly what I was trying to say. All right, Kels. So you wrote her a love letter. I wanted like a sexual fantasy script. I wanted like 50 Shades. What are you talking about? But that was just like that was a teaser for what she was capable of, but just scratched the surface.

The more we're talking about it, the more I'm coming onto it. I'm liking it more because it is, it was just, just enough, just a little taste. The beginning of our love. Yeah.

So how to start off easy and then we'll progress. See, I, that's what I said, Kelsey. I liked that. You just teetered right on that edge Of letting me know what you could offer me But didn't go so far that it turned me off right away

Exactly That's why lesbians get straight women Do you? That's cocky, I like that What does that mean? I can turn a straight girl How many times have you done that? Because I've done the opposite a bunch of times.

You guys are like superheroes on either side of the spectrum here. Pretty much. Jared's my superhero. Thank you. And I'm probably Jared's worst nightmare. Yes. Well, yeah. I mean, that actually is.

How many times have you done that? How many times have you hooked up with a straight girl? Over 10. Okay. And turned them? Or just like you got them to experiment for the night? Turn them. They've become full-blown lesbian after hanging out with you? Absolutely.

Damn, girl! You got the magic touch! Maybe I need to go to St. Louis. That is a big-time accomplishment. That girl, I mean, you can do some things, huh? Obviously, I don't have a dick, so you got to figure it out with your tongue. I feel like that was a ricochet shot. Yeah, Kevin, with your lame-ass dick.

Obviously, I know what to do. I don't have a dick. I'm like, all right. I mean, come on. I didn't mean that. We're pumping you up over here, Kelsey. I'm going to go cut my dick off in the bathroom. Have you ever hooked up with guys?

In high school, I did. And you're just out on that whole experience? Out. You guys are disgusting. Well, all right. I don't know. I was going to say, like, what if your experience in high school was that you just ran into a bunch of Keeblers and maybe you were just with the wrong guys? But when you say that we're disgusting, I think that maybe it's just not your scene.

Yeah, it's just not my type. Like, I'll say, like, oh, that guy's, like, good looking, but, like, to ever be with him now I'm out. Yeah, the whole dick thing is probably tough to get over. If you're really, if you're not into dick, it's really tough to like take one. What did, uh,

what did your girlfriend think of? Did she help you with the letter or weigh in on it at all? Or what? Oh, I got a girlfriend. Oh, I thought there wasn't a girlfriend in the mix for some reason. No.

Well, there might be now with Casey. Yeah, I mean, who knows? You might make number 11, girl. I might be number 11. Locky number 11 sitting right here, Casey Smith. You just gotta shoot your shot. That's what I'm saying.

I have to give you props that you shot your shot after Keebler just airballed from the fucking free throw line. Mm-hmm. shot your shot after Keebler just air balled from the fucking free throw line. Well, like I said, I think I could have just wrote on there what's up and it would have been better. The bar was pretty damn low, that's for certain. That's what we're good at. We set the bar incredibly well. We're really great at just being like,

just step over it. It's not even really an obstacle, it's more of a nuisance. How are they better than guys? Just walk forward. One foot in front of the other. Well, we're asking Casey to write a letter back. So maybe you'll be getting something from her in the mail.

Do we have your address here? Sounds good. Thank you for the letter. Thank you for the entertainment. Thanks, Kelsey. Have a good one. Nice to meet you, Kelsey. Yo, 10 times? That's a lot. I'm going to entertainment. Thanks, Kelsey. Have a good one. Nice to meet you, Kelsey. Yo, ten times?

That's a lot. I'm going to cut that number in half. Maybe even like three quarters. That's an exaggerated number. Although maybe she's just offsetting the universe like you are. I don't think that the number was made up. I think that she's

probably hooked up with like ten straight girls but they were just one night stands. No, no, no. See, I think that she's probably hooked up with like 10 straight girls but they were just one night stands. I think that what she might have meant was because one of my best friends growing up is a lesbian and she has hooked up with straight girls but it's been like a consistent thing like whether it was like a month, a couple months, whatever she turned them for a period of time.

Some of them stayed lesbian and some of them went back to guys. I'm assuming that's what Kelsey meant. I think that's just a bisexual person. Yeah, they went on a gaycation. Yeah, yeah. I love that term. I've never heard that. I just made it up.

Did you just make that up? I was going to call it a lesbian. I was like, wait, gaycation. Maybe I should go on a gaycation to see Kelsey. Maybe. Would you report back? Would you keep it private? After the way you reacted that she didn't put enough smut in that letter?

No, I don't want to give you that satisfaction. Alright. Alright. Never mind, I lost interest. I don't care who you fuck. You're not going to tell me about it. I don't give a fuck. I'm good now. Would you go on a vacation? I don't think so. Yeah, I was going to say you seemed all about it,

but no. I think you would. I guess it would just depend. I don't know. I'm very I was going to say you seemed all about it, but now. I think you would. I guess it would just depend. I don't know. I'm very straight. Like. Very straight. Like, big fan. Like, who's the girl that you obsess over, like, once in a while?

I'm saying I'm very straight is so funny because it's just such a coded term. Like, what you're saying is, I love dick. Yeah. I like to fuck dicks. I'm very straight. Yeah. I love having sex with penis. Interpret that how you will.

I love Eva Longoria. Like in her prime, big time fan of Eva Longoria. Like right now. I mean, even right now, she's still bringing it. Yeah. Sofia Vergara. To me, there's just a huge jump. And this is mostly a one-way street because guys just don't really.

Girls are so pretty and sexy. And I feel like people can kind of get a lot more curious with the female body than the guy's body so I get it but also there's just a huge jump between being like I think Eva Longoria is so hot and going down on her that's a big fucking jump

I appreciate hot women a lot I love appreciating all of those things doing something to those things is completely different. That's fair. I do think it's easier to experiment as a girl, probably. I would say 10 out of 10. I feel like girls

treat girl-on-girl make-outs like guys treat handshakes. We're not talking about making out. Making out doesn't count. Making out with girls doesn't count as being on a gaycation. There needs to be some sort of sexual pleasure going on. Yeah. Making out with girls in a bar is like a pass on.

I feel like even straight girls would be like, well, you can do stuff to me. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's when you have to like eat another girl out that it's like, now I'm gay. Now this is getting really fucking gay. But if you want to like go down on on me or finger me, it's like, what's the difference? You're doing it. A pretty girl's doing it. Regular guy's doing it. No big deal.

But I guess I love that term. I'm obsessed with you making that up. I don't know that I made it up, but I think I did. It sounds great. I bet you they do vacations great. We should start doing it because of this letter thing.

The CCK letter bit that somehow came to fruition. We should have more lesbians write in. We should just really compile a bunch of evidence and see if the straight letters or the lesbian letters. I mean, again, this letter just wasn't that great. If any lesbians want to write me a letter, turn me lesbian.

I'll let it. I will fuck girls. If any lesbians want to write a a letter, turn me lesbian. I'll let it. I will. I will do. I will fuck girls. If any lesbians want to write a letter and say what they do to me, I'm OK. Deal. You and your girlfriend can do that. I'll fucking guy can write it. I'll just pretend it's a chick.

Anybody wants to praise me and talk about me sexually, I'll read it. Rip the bottom half off. Yeah, you fucking will. Pretend the handwriting is prettier than it is. What if a lesbian wrote in a letter to one of you guys and talked about a threesome with a lesbian and a lesbian's girlfriend? That would be a good letter. Yeah, sure.

I guess I'd allow that. If you put a gun to my head, I'd be like, okay, I guess I'll take this fucking letter about having threesome sex with a bunch of lesbians. I feel like for our first lesbian CCK letter, this one was not bad. Yeah, I mean like it definitely because it teetered it didn't it didn't go too far one way there wasn't like lame and like okay great like

i'm gonna like hold your hand but it also wasn't just like straight up what would you give it letter grade see i'm grading it on a curve because of she's a lesbian like if that was a dude that wrote that it would be different that's uh that's sexist. That might be. Prejudice. For my first. Classic affirmative action. The lesbians just getting the easy ride once again. Happy Pride Month. Here go the gays. You don't even have to write good letters anymore.

That's a good letter. Yeah, fuck it. All right, we'll give it a fuck. Lazy gays. I would say. Why did you say lazy gays? You're gay. Can we get out of here?

You're a bunch of gays, folks. You know what? We need to get. You can put gay in frontazy gay. You're gay. Can we get out of here? You're a bunch of gays, folks. You know what? We need to get... You can split gay in front of everything. It's awesome. What do you call a lazy gay? A gaysy. By the way, HBO was in here the whole time.

I know. That was ridiculous. Of all the things they could have involved in. Can you come back? We're going to probably do NBA talk in the second hour. Can you come back for that? Real sports, too, by the way. Real sports.

This is going to be real. Real sex instead will fit in much better with that HBO. You got another series ready for us. Fucking geysers. That's going to be so tough. Make that pussy come. There's no way that that makes it on that. I would sincerely.

I hope like the B-roll of us laughing makes it and then we can watch it and be like, we were talking about Casey going down on a check right there by the way i mean uh boston apparently i don't know this is real or what but i'm seeing on twitter straight pride yeah yeah thank god finally yeah uh we're gonna have a straight pride parade parade in boston uh this this fucking guy put up on on facebook of course it looks like the Boston Straight Pride Parade will happen. We filed a discrimination complaint and it appears the city of Boston understands

they would lose in litigation. The city is now with us on the parade. We will have the streets closed and there will be and be allowed floats and vehicles. The tentative date is August 31st, but will be finalized in the next few weeks.

The proposed parade route is below. They have a picture of a map. If you would like to come as an individual, march as a group, or bring a float or vehicle, then get in touch. This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate our straight pride.

Can you imagine how lame a parade that would be? It's actually going to put straight people back. Yeah, like how do you have... People are going to turn gay. Yeah, people are going to be like, oh, fuck that. Like, I can't play for this team anymore. These guys suck. Look, I am envious of a lot of things gay people get to do.

A parade isn't really one of them. Like coming out of the closet, I never got to announce to the world that I was straight. I'm pretty sure. I never got that moment where it's like, yo, by the way, everyone, I'm fucking straight. And I never got that. It's kind of like when you were like, you kind of jealous of kids with like cash. You had to go through fucking 15 years, 20 years of horrible hardship

and bullying, but you still had that one night where you were like, motherfucker, guess what? I never got that. You want to come out? Come on. I am a straight man. It didn't feel as good.

That took so much courage, John. I think my first one was better. I'd like to revert back to my original coming out as straight. That one was better. You know what you sound like? You sound like a closeted gay man coming out as a straight man. I've never seen someone come out as straight

so poorly. Wouldn't it be fun to have like you're like guys. You call all your best friends up. I know it's like getting drafted. Yeah. The college kids are choosing their hats. Guys, I know it's been up in the air for a little while now. I had that little that little bout with Barbie dolls in third grade.

You weren't really sure which way it was going to go. Guess what? Guess what? Pussies for me. Bring me that bitch over here. Sit on the stick, baby. I'm going to fuck chicks for the rest of my life. Oh, man.

Wow. What a segment that was. I think that'd be fucking fun, man. I think straight guys got to start doing that. Take the power. So are you going to be down with the parade then? No, because the parade's going to be horrible. The parade's going to be so bad.

So bad. Like, gay parades are cool. Gay pride parades are awesome. Yeah, like the floats and the... When is the straight parade supposed to be? 8.31.

Where? Yeah, when? Oh, August 31st. August 31st. I did the pride parade in Boston a couple of times and it's a good time. The one in New York

is almost... It's like, I can't handle it. We were in LA for... We were.A. like, remember last year? It was like the one, it had just ended, right? Because there was still this stuff all over the place. So maybe we were there and we might have missed the opportunity to go to L.A. But that was when Always Sunny was burning it down.

Mac was out there looking fucking sexy. Yeah, the straight parade is just going to be like. It's going to be so lame. It's going to be like shitty floats and bad decorations and bad music. Terrible dress. I mean, that is going to be the most hateful

organization of people of all time. Yeah, I mean, let's call it one of those. It's a Klansman rally. There's going to be a few flags. Yeah, big time. Let's just call it the straight parade exactly one of those. You've got gotta be a real real fucking loser.

This is like when people used to say, could you imagine if there was a white entertainment TV? Imagine if it was WET instead of BET or how come there's not white pride months? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. God damn it. Just shut the fuck up. You gotta be a real fucking

loser to be upset that somebody's having a parade i'm just curious to see what you're gonna do in a straight pride parade that's different from just like that's also that's like like if you do you have like who has straight pride no it's just like just whatever man okay same thing is like white like white white pride like i don't know prize fucking white man yeah don't have pride. I'm just fucking white, man. If you have pride, you're fucking weird over here. I feel like you're a straight proud man.

I mean, I... Maybe you should lead the parade. I just say I'm one of them. Do you even know that I'm straight? You ever see me fuck a girl before? Never. I never heard Jared come out as straight either. That's true. You wanna come out? I don't wanna take John's shine today. I prefer to share come out as straight either. That's true. You want to come out? I don't want to take John's shine today. I prefer to share the day, I think.

Today has officially come out as straight day. You know what? I'm actually in the closet now as a straight man because I don't think I want to be a part of the straights. I mean, I came out as very straight earlier. Yeah, that's true. You came out. You fucking burned the closet down. You didn't come out Casey like hates the gays

well let's not put really that is going to be on the internet and it is going to be Deke Zucker go ahead no context on that one either let's hit a break when we come back final segment of the day before chicks in the office take over

no he used the term police escort I know but I'm saying that's also... It could be a term for... We're just getting a bunch of people to protect him. The Stanley Cup finals... There's no way the actual police are getting involved here. It would be awesome.

It's a fucking rat. The content is great. It's a rat. I mean, the rat is pretty famous at this point. The rat is famous. Brett Hall is holding it, kissing it. I was impressed. John Hamm.

I didn't think that that was going to be a thing. Like when they were in St. Louis, like I didn't realize how big Boris was in St. Louis. What a bunch of losers to go nuts over a fucking. No, no,

no. Hold on. This is, this is where I disagree with that because I obviously I've said many times before, I love the city of Boston, not a big hockey fan. So I can't like claim the Bruins and be like,

Oh my God, the Bruins are like the, the, my team. But I do love the city of Boston. Not a big hockey fan, so I can't claim the Bruins and be like, oh my God, the Bruins are my team. But I do love the city of Boston. I want Boston to win. However, what YP is doing with Boris is so good. When the Bruins lost game four, I was mad because I want the Bruins to win the Stanley Cup, but then I'm out here retweeting YP because his dances with Boris are so fucking funny.

He's got a rally rack. Which is insane. First of all, when did you start doing the dances with Boris are so fucking funny. He's got a rally rack. Which is insane. First of all, when did you start doing the dances with Boris? The first playoff game. Was that something that you did on a whim? No, the funniest thing is it was literally an accident. So Gloria is like the goal song, right? The end of the first game, it was really close.

The Blues came back and snatched a win away. It was crazy because first game of it was like really close the blues came back and snatched a win away it was like it was like a it was crazy because you know first game of the playoffs you know in any team any sport you've seen the team the whole year but you don't know really what's gonna happen because it's like it's a whole different scenario when the pressure's on they came back had like a last second win right i was on live stream luckily just did a live stream i was like oh this is what we do at bar so it's my team i'm watching on live stream and at the end of the live stream everyone's doing play gloria play gloria i was sitting in my couch which is right next to boris's cage and i was just excited i was you know i talked to him he's like my son because when we used to live together just me and

him when i first moved out here you you get a connection with something it's like he was my only friend in the world really you know what i mean As far as like when I'd go home, it'd just be me and him. I was like, Boris, they fucking did it, all this stuff, whatever. I never planned on it at all. And everyone on the live stream is like, play, play Gloria or whatever. So I was like, oh, I'm going to play Gloria and dance around. I don't know. I was like celebrating.

It was like literally the most random thing. And flopping your dick around. No, this was way before that. I know, but I'm just. If you watched the first one, I was literally just like, it's like not anything that it is now. It's safe for work. Yeah.

I was like just kind of sitting there smiling like in the camera. Yeah. But I went and got Boris out of his cage. I was like, dude, they did it. I don't know why. I don't. It was zero planning, whatever. And it got like a good response, whatever.

It's only 30 seconds. The first one, I found it last night. Then the second one, they won again in kind of a crazy thing. And I like on live stream and i was like oh i'm gonna go get him for some reason did it again that one was a little more like you know and i think that one got like a thousand likes or something so i was like oh people like this you know like i was starting to get a thing they lost the next two games and then came back and had a crazy win in game five that was when i started doing like i got him out and did like a little crazier dance because it was like oh my god i can't believe they did it and that's kind of where it just like took off is completely random accident and i'm just grateful

you know how it is rock it's like sometimes the dumbest shit takes off but the thing that makes me nervous is it's not like i engineered it with my brain like okay here's a way that i can make content that people are gonna like it wasn't like a that's what makes brain like okay here's a way that I can make content that people are gonna like it wasn't like a yeah that's what makes you nervous because it's almost like like winning the lottery or something where you're like this is good and I have this money now but it's like you feel nervous because you don't it was like such an accident that it's like what if that didn't happen did I tell you why I brought you in here no we did not but it you know makes me a little nervous no I think I I what you told me about for game six i

said on national radio which i don't know if i was supposed to also that's the biggest water bottle i've ever seen sorry when i see something i have to say it that's like a torpedo anyways it's great uh i i mentioned and i as soon as i said it i was like fuck i probably shouldn't have said that on the radio show but i mentioned that boris might have a police escort there's rumors yeah i don't know if it's uh i don't know if rumors, yeah. I don't know if it's going to happen. I don't know if it'll... I don't know. But there is talk of it.

That is a fact that the magic rat may have a police escort. Like to the game or in the game? No, I think to the game. Yeah, because I was saying when I was working for ESPN, we had police escorts to the airport, and it was so unnecessary because it's like, we don't deserve police escorts. We'll take them 1,000%,

but do you think that Boris deserves a a police escort i mean it's not even a question at this point especially if they win game five you know knocking wood whatever like you know i'm very respectful to the hockey gods if they win game five and we're going for it i mean you can't tell me that a magic rat potentially, you know, doing something that no human being has ever done before, you know, bringing a city. I can't even say it. It's like,

I don't want to jinx it, but it's like, I mean, I need protection. I think he would definitely do. I will give you this because I feel like he's pretty much a mascot at this point. Right.

I think he's more than, he's more than that, but like, he's definitely a mascot. The reason I'm saying this is because the reason that, yeah, in a good way, the reason that the universityxas mascots name is bevo is because way back in the day a and m students stole him and branded him with 13 to 0 because that that was the score

of the game that year they turned it into bevo and it was a whole thing because a and m stole this mascot so you are what you're telling me is that somebody could potentially steal the chinchilla. I'm nervous. One thing that whenever everyone's doing these like, oh, Barstool's so mean to us. People tweeted three mean things to me. A, the amount of shit I get on a daily basis. I'm sure both of you know that.

That's just a separate point of contention. It's laughable to me when people are like, oh, someone was mean to me about this inflammatory article i wrote yeah bro i get people being like kill yourself you like perk eyes piece of shit every day so a cry me a river on the barstool audience is also mean to barstool the barstool audience treats barstool employees like the shit they would say about you jared when when we had the little fucking whatever when i taped you on the thing the yeah. I still get that to this day. Yeah.

That was last April. That was over a year ago. Like, cry me a river. A, that's one thing. Whenever I see those, it's like, oh, my. And I never say anything about it because it's like, you just ignore it. That's the only way to, like, deal with it. But it's like, why doesn't that count?

But yours count. But anyways, separate from that, the amount of people I've had DMing me, dead serious, I'll show you them. I've screenshot them because, oh, Jared,ared i tell you what if this little rat can get me two more wins i may you see this mural i may paint one seven times this big on the wall and in maybe boston maybe somewhere i don't know where i'll commission it with these people's tweets on it oh i'm gonna skin your rat alive kill board people are doing hashtag kill boris oh fuck that piece of shit i'm gonna kill your pet the amount of things people say to me like for a fucking sweet animal and i get it that

once you're in the fray of like it's still an animal get the fuck out of here but i get you know like once you put him in the fray and like oh he's beating you i get it but it's still it's like i don't get it no i don't i don't understand it but it's like it's an animal like i'm i hate people that hate animals i would rather see a person die than't understand it but it's like it's an animal like i'm i hate people that hate animals i would rather see a person die than an animal die but that's the thing though casey when it's like if certain animals i guess like certain people like dogs uh i was with one of my friends on team's kid the other night he was doing this funny thing he's like take me would have been a funny video but i was like i'm not even gonna put it up because when you're in a series against

people if you willingly put something out there that's like a kid or whatever doing something, right or wrong, you're opening them up to be like shit on or this or that or people talk. And it's like they don't deserve that. So I was like, no chance I'm putting that, whatever. Even though it's a funny thing that's harmless to whatever, like, you know, to the it doesn't have anything to do with the series. People will say mean things about it and they don't deserve that, especially if, you know, they're however old. It's big of you. No, but I'm serious though it's true but it's like when tom brady put his daughter on the documentary and you're you're asking they're not asking well no but then a radio

host calling her an annoying little pissant a little bit too far over the line it's too far but it would not have happened if you didn't like you should be able to do that but at the same time the only way to make sure no one's going to say bad things against a kid or a chinchilla is like not put him out there so i get it at the same time the amount of psychopaths that say that i don't doubt i mean everyone's like oh you're going to bring him to boston is that first of all i will not comment on his whereabouts no matter what he may already be in td garden i don't know i'm not gonna tell you but where in the world is boris i mean don't worry about it because i'll never tell but anyways the, the thing is, people were hucking beers at me last game and calling me horrible things.

You think that I think one random Boston person wouldn't try to hurt what is a cute rat? I think that's definitely within question. I think it's in play. It's in play. Especially say the Blues were winning and it looks like they're mad or whatever. People will do anything

at that point. You know what I mean? Sports fans are crazy. They're crazy and also, you know, you know, they're like mad or whatever. People will do anything at that point. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, people hurt. Like sports fans are crazy. They're crazy. And also, I mean, someone stole a cow and branded it. Yeah. Like someone, and you don't think like, um, I had someone try to steal my jacket, like my windbreaker, what I've been wearing the other night.

Like whenever you're in these things, I've been, I'm so grateful for it. This entire run has been the most fun thing of all time. Like, um, you know, like all these videos, everything luckily has been getting a lot of attention, but I understand like, Oh, now like the jacket I wear, someone wants to steal that.

And like, that'd be a big deal to be like, Oh, I stole it. Like some douchebag or like to hurt Boris. If you're like a Boston person, I'm sure they would love to do that. Of course.

And guess what? Boris is trying to rip your head off too. So that's fine. You know what I mean? It is what it is. Animals are assholes. Period. I don't think anyone would hurt Boris.

I think there are people threatening to skin him. Yeah. I mean, people wear chinchilla coats. I mean, but chinchilla coats are a thing. Yes. It's not like he's, you know, like at the end of the day, it's like. You think a Boston Bruins fan is going to turn Boris into a chinchilla cone? I think one person out of everyone would maybe do something mean to him

or throw a beer at him. Honestly, the St. Louis Blues fans seem to be worse than the Bruins fans. Not at all, Casey. That's false. But you guys have actually assaulted people. Yeah. No, I mean, that's just not true. Wait, hold on.

So are you saying on the record that that fan did not assault Dave Portnoy? No, I think Riggs also got assaulted at the game with the person smacking him in the head trying to give him a head injury. A St. Louis Blues fan assault Dave Portnoy. Yes, I mean, I'm against the towel flicker guy. Me and Riggs both said that, but as Riggs said, we're against assault across the board. When someone tried to give him a brain injury at game two trying to you know give him uh you know a direct hit to the head that's not a joke either

rocky we take it do you take that more seriously than the guy who gave him the nookie nookie wait what do you mean like are you taking the in the uh both serious head injuries are serious i'm against them aren't you on team portnoy yeah i'm against head injuries on all sides. I'm not talking about the Noogie. I'm talking about the person who smacked Riggs in the head trying to give him internal bleeding. As Dave said, Noogie's International Waters. Okay. On the Jumbo.

No, on the Jumbotron, it's International Waters. Yeah. Fair enough. That's fair. And the funniest thing at that game the other night, it wasn't even really on video. It was just like a subtle thing in the moment. They were showing a few of the sections.

They normally don't do 300s in Sky Trade that much. They started to do them towards the end of the game. And me and Dave kind of like, I could see him looking back up at the numbers to see which one. Because it was on like 330 something. We were like 318. And I could see him kind of, and I looked at him. We were kind of laughing. I was like, I knew in his head he was getting, yeah.

Well, I mean, once you start seeing it, it's like, and then every single break we were just kind of sitting back and I was ready because I mean, John was on the other side. I knew two on one, you're going to get like whatever, but it's jungle rules. As long as I could just create chaos and like, you know what I mean? Like I know. Would you swing? I don't think I'd punch. Well, no, no.

I mean like you'd like swing your arms and stuff. Try to get out of it. How I would have seen that going. A, Dave's quick. Before the first time, I think I noticed it like five seconds before him when I saw they were in the 300s. And then once he looked, he was ready.

So I don't know if I could have got the jump on him. Obviously, it's like at that moment, it's a split second. I probably would have just dove on him like bear hug. at that point it's like certain hockey fights when you're against a bigger guy you can tie up or just create like a a mess so that like say it's an even thing you get one hand on like his shoulder pad whatever and you're throwing that's like a real fight if a guy's bigger and you just want to tie him up and make it like yeah you know go down get it over with i probably would have done something like that because I knew Feidelberg was

coming over the back. Cause say I turned to Dave, he's just going to like headlock me and start noogie and from the other side. So I would have just wanted to create jungle rules chaos. Right. I mean, that's all you can ask for it. But what type of environment, like say this series goes seven. Yeah. And you got to go to Boston for that. I would love, I mean, I want it to be done in six in St. Louis blues winning, but I'm what i'm asking no no i'm just saying hold on okay you go to game seven in

boston like what type of precautions would you take to protect boris so i've thought about it a little bit seven like these fans have nothing to lose nothing to lose that's they're not showing up the next day guaranteed and it's also jared like there's no delay in what's happening in game seven like and you know say it's game four or whatever they're losing it's like well we don't know what's gonna happen game seven if they go down three nothing or something it's in it's over right then like it's immediate thing the the emotions are 10 times higher like you also thought about the fact that dave might want to do an electric chair for a game so we've we've talked about. I think I don't want to say on there. I don't know what their plans are.

I know there's Pebble Beach. There's a lot of stuff going on. But either way, precautionary wise, the problem is in St. Louis, I got home cooking. I can like I have places to put him. People that are helping me. TD Garden. I mean, I can't imagine anyone's going to help me. They shouldn't.

Honestly, like I would love it. But the other thing is, too, where I keep Boris, like, you know, I don't want to say where it is, but, like, I know that there's people, if I go up to the stands where he is in the quiet place that he stays, I know I have friends and people that are watching him that are guarding him. If you're talking about, like, TD Garden, it's like, dude, I would never leave him because. You can't leave him. Jared, when you're talking about hurting, that's one's like dude i would never leave him because you can't leave him jared when you're talking about hurting that's one thing i would hope no one yeah but stealing

is a hundred percent it's in play they would steal them and then they might take care of them they might yeah but it's like kidnapping videos and at that point at that point it's like oh we don't negotiate with i mean how do you not negotiate i would have to give anything yeah don't go around planting any ideas bro you think i might kidnap this thing with, I mean, how do you not negotiate? I would have to give anything. Which is bad now that I just said that. Don't go around planting any ideas, bro. I might kidnap this thing. Do you think Dave would give you the ransom money? I don't know because

I respect Dave as the dirtiest player in the game. He said it, Ric Flair. The other night going into the stadium, I said me and him were in line. The thing is with these content things that I don't know if people see when you're on these trips and and everything there's a lot of downtime when it's kind of just not off air like he's the same person but it's like not friendly but you know you're like co-workers that are like riding around in a car civil civil yeah civil but you know the second

the camera comes up like it's such a weird like mix you know what i mean i think you're i think you're coming to that realization i don't know i am but but i'm saying it's even if you like it's such a weird like mix you know what i mean i think you're i think you're coming to that realization oh no i am but but i'm saying it's even if you know it's there it's it's interesting in the time because you know like i uh a lot of times and have been in the past terrified to interact with davies in like a scary you know person in these trips you get to know him a little better you're having more fun and this and that it's like we're walking in and i said to him he was like oh he's like i'm really interested i mean it was funny like walking in we're all sitting there like no one knows we're like how is this gonna work yeah i got him in game one didn't show him at all because they lost they're getting

thumped so early i wasn't gonna bring him out like oh here he is while they're getting killed it's like then people are not as excited so game two i was going in dave's like and frankie's filming it good for i mean that was funny it's good to have it on record so we're walking in i was like dave i was like don't say i'm like come on man he's like no i'm genuinely curious like what's gonna happen he's like i don't know if this is gonna work whatever and i said i'm like i'm like i know you're the dirtiest player in the game you've said it a hundred times he was laughing he's like no i actually like i'm i'm like i'm like i know you're the dirtiest player in the game you've said it 100 times he was laughing he's like no i actually like i'm i'm really curious to see if this is gonna work and feidelberg goes oh you have even less chance of getting him in than you blues do

winning this game you know classy yeah yeah wrong on both accounts but um so i was like and at that point i'm like fuck man like it's different the first time i went in with my mom game one and it was a little dicey but we got through this time it's like dave and all that we we just look like cameras yeah yeah and my mom was there you can see in the video i kind of like not yelled at her but she was behind and at first i was like oh you should come in with me because like a mom has a different like vibe than like us but then like dave was there and i was, she kept talking in the thing. And I was like, mom, we're on camera. And this is Dave Portnoy.

Like I can't do it. If he says, yeah, that's it. You're in. Yeah. But, but if he says something to you,

that's my mom. You can say it's important. That's my fucking mom, dude. Like at some point, that's a bad spot. I was like, mom,

stay back. Get out of the camera, please. For the love of God, don't put me in this position. That's not a place you want to be. No. No.

So then, so I'm talking to David. I was like, you swear. He's like, not going to do anything. Fair shake. Let's see what happens. I was like, I looked at him like, because we both knew, but there's also a human element. Like we're saying, we're walking in. We just did the show together at Ballpark Village.

Coolest thing of my life. There's a whole crowd. We're in my hometown. You were having like a Simba moment. It was so, yeah, but it was like the whole thing was like the coolest thing of all time. Like I'm sure you know, Jared, when you do section 10 stuff at Fenway and you're sitting there, you're like, how the fuck did this happen? Like I'm sitting in the place I've been before. Coolest thing.

So I'm kind of like a little bit thinking he might do it. So the second I start trying to put him through, first of all, I about the security guards i mean that's like that's number one front line before like any of him or anything they could just be like what are you doing right and it was a different one i went to the same line but it was a different person they switched it up i was like fuck and i saw the guy that led it through the first time he was like five uh like lines over and i was like if i switch it the last minute then it's weird yeah so i put them up i take and of course my fucking dumb ass i had stuff in too many pockets so i'm trying to get it out fast so that it's not like uh you want to just

go through yeah and instead i'm like i forgot the phone charger in here and it's like taking forever i'm like fuck fuck fuck like the longer you're in their scope they're just looking at you and i'm like i'm geeking out so and then i and time slows down by the way like in reality it's probably going much faster but in your brain it's the slowest thing of all time it's in slow motion because these people are checking through 20 000 people right but they probably don't care but in the moment they see a new i see a carrier and a bag with their wallet in like a phone. And then there's a thing. It's like, what is this? So I put them up on the thing.

And at that moment, it's like, it's like in poker when you're waiting for like the flop card or whatever. And you're just like, what is going to happen? Put them up and I'm fucking with this shit. I'm like, God damn it. Get out of my pockets. I'm trying to put all the thing. So I put the carrier up, walk through, love doing the secure, secure uh the metal detector thing you walk through and you're like okay like real respectful because you know you're not going to get buzzed on that it's like thank you you know

very much step through and i go to grab and they're like what's so the first game there was just the bags like they put it through they're like whatever the second game they had a fucking drumstick and we're like poking through people's purses and shit seeing what's in there because i guess you can't touch with your hands in case it's something bad and i see this and i'm like oh fuck if they open this either i'm gonna have to say what it is or they're gonna open it and poke around with the drumstick which boris is gonna either bite the shit out of them and run yeah or like get out i'm like oh fuck this is bad disaster so i'm like oh fuck oh fuck so I see it.

And she goes, what is that? And like, there's a lot of ways to euphemize like what's something, you know, like say you're bringing in like something. It's like, oh, I need this for that. It's hard to like when it's a live animal. I can't say it's a dog. You gotta just tell like it is. It's not a dog.

So I just, it's hard too because. But then you also gotta remember, if you truly did have an emotional support chinchilla. You would say it. You would be dead ass honest. You'd be like, this is my emotion. You did have an emotional support chinchilla you would say you would be dead ass honest you'd be like this is my emotion you know i have a chinchilla that goes everywhere with me so you try to tell me i can't have my emotional support animal so i had i this is the another thing like how we were just talking about how the videos were like of grace of god like lucky thing luckily in my house my dad in my parents house the printer was fucked up so i tried to print the emotional support animal note that i

have respect the medical profession everybody because it's real and a real doctor wrote it and it's very real that's dead serious no hyperbole no photoshop no one's swear to god no but people might say that but it's not like we've faked stuff before with the super bowl whatever like this is real yeah so um luckily my parents printer fucked up and printed like four copies and i was in such a rush. I just took them. So when you have the thing, it was like four pieces of paper. It looks like it's like my papers rather than one note. So for some reason that looks better too.

So they're like, what is that? I was like, Oh, it's my emotional support animal. I have the papers right here. All this stuff you can see in the video right away. Go to the papers. And she was very, I mean mean they're very nice people and once again i think it's awkward where they don't want to challenge you either yeah they don't because if because if it really was an emotional support animal and it's on camera and they're turning it down first of all it is one well you know what i

mean like if you're gonna someone else had one like if you were gonna have like some sort of like panic attack and you needed bor there. Again, somebody else. Let's just say not you. Somebody else. Put it this way. When YP gets emotional about the Blues, what does Boris do? He supports him. He supports him.

Listen, I'm fully on board with Boris going everywhere. That's just called the English language, brother. Words and definitions. Boris should be on airplanes. I think Boris should go wherever the fuck Boris wants to go. Yeah. But no security guard is going to be the one that is on camera saying to somebody, hey, you have mental health problems. You can't bring your animal in.

Yeah. So, yes. So then they're like, oh, like, you know, most of them are like, what the fuck is that? And also, how many like, you know, how many like rodents are maybe a dog once in a while but how many people try to bring they gotta be like if this guy's doing it so confidently it's almost like hiding in plain sight right like if you go in through the it's not like he's in my like like belt or something you're being up front i'm literally like here's my thing here's my papers i'm walking in they're like oh okay and the other thing i said too which is true i was like

i brought him in last game you know like he was here the other night like that way they don't think they're doing something that someone else didn't do so okay cool i get through and dave dirtiest player in the game at this point and i knew it i mean they didn't be mad he's so fucking funny obviously like i'm i think it's funny because i still got through in the the moment, I didn't think it was funny. I was like, are you fucking kidding me, dude? Because we had talked about it six feet away from where this happens. He's like, no, no, I'll see. And he starts going, whoa, does that thing bite?

He's like, I think, is that the one that attacks people? Like, he's saying stuff like that. And, you know, Dave's like, the way his tone is these these like security guards are like what i don't know what and i'm looking i'm looking at them they're looking at me and i'm like what the fuck man like shut up you know like i was like dave fuck like and at this moment they could easily be like well hold on a second let's go get this and i'm like i look back at him i'm like you fuck and he has that look on his face. I was like, you smirk. This motherfucker, man. So then, and I said, I was like, oh, he's just a crazy Bruins fan or something.

They were like, ha ha. And I just took them. They were like, I was like, thank you very much. And they were like, okay, like, have a nice day. So I walk in. Walk briskly. But at this point, especially, I mean, I can't imagine now after all these news articles yesterday and stuff. This motherfucker was on CNN.

Boris was on CNN. Anyways, even before that, and stuff, this motherfucker was on CNN. Boris was on CNN. Anyways, even before that, you know, this run's been crazy. Everyone's asking to take pictures the second I step in. Right. And I'm like, shut up. I'm like, I don't want to be mean because I'm grateful for anyone that wants to take a picture. At the same time, we got to get this guy in the crowd and gone. Like, I'm not trying to be the security guards if they see uh you know like even though it's

supporting people being happy if they see a scene being caused because of a rat they're gonna think whoa something's up here yeah like as if you did something wrong right so i'm like and i'm telling him i was like yeah hold on man hold on i'm just trying to get in i'm just trying i lost dave all them i just got in and everyone's like hey boy'm like one second man i'm like because i know the place i take him and every once he's there it's fine we're good like but from there to there dude what a weird like out of all the championship runs that anybody here at barcelona has had the extra wrinkle for yp having to do it with a goddamn rodent well reason that we brought him in here is because jared and i were talking about just how crazy the stanley cup playoffs have been from a standpoint of it's not even really about the stuff on the ice anymore.

It's about all the hoopla around it. Right. But it's because YP told me right before I came on air that Boris may be getting a police escort for game six. Not even like the exact – like when Casey first said that, YP wasn't in the room yet. And I was like, when he says police escort, it's going to be like Chuck and Gay Pat and Gaz pretending to be security guards. I understand that. Just an example of big guys in the office. The fact that

police might actually get involved here to escort a fucking rat into a Stanley Cup final game is one of the wildest bars to narratives of all time. I know. I said that. I said that on Twitter. I was like, I know we're all used to Boris by now because we've seen him, you know.

He lived in the office. Over a dozen times. That's the craziest thing is. But like, he's got a chinchilla with him at the fucking game right now. And he's going to get a police escort. Hopefully. Like, it's been, I've had people, it's being talked about. That's fucking crazy.

I don't want to put the cart before the horse. Let's let it happen first. And I don't want to blow up the spot because if people hear this and they're like well the police are being used in like as soon as i said it i felt badly i was like shit i probably shouldn't have said that one of those things where it's like i'm not gonna say anything unless it happens because it's like well we've just talked about it i know but like this hopefully this i mean it's wednesday like this would be sunday so it's like, all right, let's let, let's just see what happens. Because I do respect that at the same time. It's like, we don't want to create a complete gong show.

Right, right, right. At the same time. And this is the last thing I'm about to say about it for real. I know I just said, I'm not going to say anything and now keep talking. But I was just talking about it with, uh, I forgot who. I mean, the idea, the visual, like in my head, in my, no, I was talking to someone before you, in my head, I'm picturing as a person who shot video, I'm always putting the shot together. The idea of a convoy driving down Highway 40 in St. Louis and then us getting out at Enterprise Center with a magic rat. It may be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life if that happens and like i was saying too i could get some of my boys in st louis to get like an all black whatever

like secret service type of thing and we could buy like you know costume earpiece you need people running alongside the car like in north korea yes and but the funny thing is we could make it happen yeah like the person who reached out to me they can make this happen and if it all depends too because uh i'm not gonna say the schedule, whatever. But I guess like right now, we don't know for sure what's going to happen. I think it should happen either way, especially now. You mean going to St. Louis? Yeah, like we don't know what's going to happen yet.

I mean it would be dead serious. I think maybe the funniest thing I've ever been a part of if we had like a convoy ride. Imagine that shot and then like we get out and like, it would be the funniest. When you described it to me, we were both like, it's like the president of United States getting out and it's a fucking rat. And it's like me and my boys with like,

like, and I'm just in my like windbreaker and like swimming trunks with no underwear on and like dick flopping. And my boys getting out with like sirens, holding the door with like a rat coming out of a convoy. I mean, that would be the funniest thing ever at that point boris would have to make the mural oh a hundred percent just

boris not even you if you win the cup uh have you have you propositioned david about getting boris on the mural you should do that you think i'm worried about the mural if that happens we're talking about statues in st louis if that happens. You think I'm worried about this? We got a fat pen on here. We got way more. I would love that, but like. You want a statue in downtown St. Louis. Or you should have him just sitting on top of Dave's head.

Listen, let's not disrespect my, you know, team Porter. Oh, get the fuck out of here. All right, we're back. Your boy KFC back in the saddle. Before YP bounced, though, I just... You're going to be in Boston tomorrow? I believe so, yeah. What time are you leaving? Why?

Do you know who's going to be in the building tomorrow? Here? Yeah. Who? Lisa Ann. Oh, I did did hear that i actually did hear 11 right yeah that's after yeah oh my god listen I've had a lot of fortuitous bounces. That's just one that went the other way. Yeah, the universe has got to even itself out a little bit here.

That sucks. And you know what? I have a feeling Zah will carry the torch for you. I'll make sure you're- I mean, Zah just lost it. Zah, listen to this, by the way. He jumped off that chair so fucking fast. Zah, she went on Flagrant 2 with Andrew Schultz and Kaz and Akash.

More or less, she was like a pioneer. She was like the first big star to do interracial. Oh, yeah, with Lex Steel and all those guys. She said that her agent was like, if you do this, you'll never have a career ever again. And she was so adamant about it that she went and booked it herself and went to some low-budget studio. And she was like, no, fuck that. I'm an equal opportunist oh shit i thought that's what makes curious i think it taken on bbc i mean you gotta remember it was a different time bro it was a different time back then i'm pumped kevin yeah i am he was like hands up in the air

like a walk-off just got he got launched out of his seat That's how fast he jumped up out of that seat Who's the one porn star that could walk in this office Heatherbrook Where you'd like try to like What's that movie Pretty Woman Where you'd try to be like babe you don't need to do this I'll shoot you

I mean When I Rose came through here And that was Who's the one where you would be like, let me take you away from this life. Yes. Yes. Yes. Silver. I've seen that video. I know it because it's always on our like recently

watching and which only makes me click on it every time. We have a join you guys. We did this on case radio. So me, YP and fight. Oh, we've talked about it. Share a poor premium premium Pornhub account. Correct. That was given to us.

We didn't pay for it. It was gifted. That's always important to say. How many videos do you think has been watched under that account in, let's call it, I think it's like three months that we've had it? I mean, there's no number that you can say. Isn't Fights also in on it? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Okay. So between the three of you, there's no fourth member? No. Matter of months. Okay. Three months, three members. YP in the equation. Which is like seven members. I'm gonna, do you know the

actual number? Yeah. I will say... I'm gonna say 1,500. I was gonna say like 450. It's more than... It's almost 1,'s like it's almost 1200 450 or yp that's light work he doesn't know in a weekend do you do the same thing like when you go on like you'll well because you guys have a premium account but usually like what i do is i

go on go on the main page and then i'll open up like five or six. He does that. He does like 10 or 12. Yeah, I'll do like five or six, and then you kind of think. I think that does it. I'm with Jared. I'll do all of them at the same time, and then it's like. You switch between. I don't do that, by the way.

I think you guys are weird for that. I love that. It's like a baseball thing. It's like pitching. You bring in the closer at the end. You know who's going to finish it off. You know who's going to get it. Yeah, you need the one.

You definitely need. It's like Tampa Bay. You need an opener. Yeah yeah you definitely need an opener like the first one that i watch is never the one that like i finished ever jared ever ever ever like i usually like play the first one is like all right this sets the tone it's like all right now what are we coming to right what's that called again jared like committee yeah no what's the thing they did in the playoffs where they do a bullpen bullpen game well yeah it was like they have an opener instead of a closer and then it's just but it's everyone's getting two innings or whatever when i got an opener and a closer that's a hundred percent

what it might be you gotta like mop up in the middle man there might be like a mop up in the middle but like you like that's definitely a mop up at the end oh for sure but there's always an opener never finished to the opener. And then there might be one or two before the closer because it's like you're trying to find the right one. I mean, I kind of do that, but I don't I don't have them set. I'll start something. And if I don't feel like this is not cutting it, I'll go find another one. But I don't have them on deck the way the other thing is psychological, too.

Yeah. Like I open with like some raunchy shit. So it's like, yeah, you get to pique the interest. You open with raunchy and you it's like yeah you get to peak the interest you open with raunchy and you close with passion 5p is now I love when like I see

someone else with the same brain we got the same brain right now yeah you're like like I'll open with like maybe he should be in on the account

oh yeah I would let the raunchy in on that yeah you open with like three dicks one chick every show

we're gonna have like some sort of recap of what you guys watch. I mean, I'm out on that. Do you want in on the premium? It sounds like you're jealous, Casey. No, I do not want to see what you people are watching. What do you mean you people?

Exactly what I said. No, but Jared, the thing is too, it is the same thing. It's almost like, to put it in hockey terms, I almost put the energy line out there first. Something that's going to be like, go out, go bang some bodies, hit people. Let's like get pucks in deep and just hit people. And then we're going to bring the skill guys in and like try to score. But okay.

Like first thing, boom, get out, get out to a thing. Then the middle is kind of my favorite part because you're in the mix with stuff, like maybe some weird shit that you're not going to open or close with, but it's, that's the experimentation. You've never seen before. You don't have to rely on it to be the one at the beginning or end, but it's like, whoa,

this is some weird shit that, huh? Let's see. Let's see what I think about this. Like I'm saying, it's like, you know, you got to open up with something that's like hot and heavy and like dirty,

like raunchy, some embarrassing shit that if you ever told people you were watching it, they would think differently of you. And then you could. So for example, my opener, one of my openers this week, straight up on the couch, throat fuck. She's puking up her own nostrils. Energy line.

Boom. Get the people going. Get the building into it, Jared. Set the tone. Set the tone. That's the opener. The closer, there was like this girl who was like a paparazzi, like photographer, and she like broke her camera. So there's like a little bit of plot there was this girl who was a paparazzi photographer, and she broke her

camera, and then she goes home. So you like a little bit of plot there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes home to her boyfriend, and they haven't paid the electrical bill, and they're sad, but they still have each other, and then they passionately have sex. That's my closer. Wow. That's a big juxtaposition.

The closer to me, a lot of times, a real beautiful chick. I'm trying to think of what it is lately on... I got to go on our account, but some shit that's just some straight up... Casey, do not act like you're what it is lately. I gotta go on our count, but some shit that's just some straight up... Casey, do not act like you're above this. Yeah, come on. You're talking about watching porn with puke coming out of a girl's nose? No, no, no. It didn't come out of her nose.

I'm not talking about porn. Oh, Casey. Oh, Casey, not that. That, to me, is disgusting. I'm not shaming porn to me, is disgusting. Oh, Kevin, oh, no. I'm not shaming porn. Porn is great.

But any time you're watching somebody puke out of their nose, I'm not in. If you're doing it right, people are puking. It's not every time, but that's happening. It's not something I want to see. Guess what? I'm out on that. It's like an injury in a game. You don't want to see it over the course of a season.

But you guys don't understand what that might actually feel like. It's like, as a girl, I'm not trying to feel puke coming out of my nose while I'm doing that. Me either. I hope you never puke. It's not coming out of your nose. It's coming out of your mouth and into your nose because you're upside down. And also, me and Jared didn't shoot this

or watch it. He's puking it into her nose because she's upside down. Yeah, she's upside down. So it's like spit coming out. She's like puking up her forehead. And guess what? We didn't do it. She's puking it into her nose because she's upside down. Yeah, she's upside down. So it's like spit coming out and upwards. She's like puking up her forehead. And guess what? We didn't do it. It happened and we watched the video.

Again, Casey, you're not listening. Out of the mouth, into the nose. I don't think that sounds comfortable either, but it was on the internet and I saw it. No, it definitely doesn't sound fucking comfortable. And you know what? But guess what? We didn't do it.

She's a performance artist, okay? Like Asa would tell you, she'd be like... And she was into it. It definitely doesn't sound fucking comfortable. And you know what? But guess what? We didn't do it. She's a performance artist. Like Asa would tell you, she'd be like, Asa would be like, wow, if she did that, she'd be like, man,

I killed that scene. That's hot. That's a fact. That's great. Not my scene, that's all. I just didn't really, as soon as Jared

started talking about that, I did, lost my appetite. Guess what? There's a lot of different other stuff on there. I'm aware of what

Pornhub is like. I'm saying, there's a lot of different other stuff on there i'm aware of what i'm saying there's a lot of different stuff that's not for you okay okay fair enough but i mean the beauty of that account too is like do you know they have the big uh banner thing at the top yeah it's almost like a movie thing if you see we got to get you on that rocket now after you said that thing funniest thing i feel so connected seeing the uh recently watched and you know i was like i didn't watch that so i'm always like who was that well now if you had a fourth guy i mean you'll know what i'm watching we'll know what the rockets i don't know if we will where i think you'll fit in i think you'll fit in just fine yeah that's when you know your boys is when you can't tell who watched what but dude for the first couple days i had like a little bit of like uh i

don't know you know now i'm like oh dude i i was of like, I don't know, you know. Now I'm like, I don't know. Oh, dude. I was in the zone. I didn't even think about you guys at all. There might be some weird shit on there. But the thing is, too, we should have, though, Kevin, we got to talk to Aria, you know, the Pornhub chick, and be like, can we get a few passes per month where it doesn't go unreasoned? Like, you know what I mean? Like, give me two covert watches a month where it's like, all right, man, this one, if you

open it in like an incognito window, does it still go on? I think if you're logged in, it's still. It's the account. It's not your browser. It's like the account. Okay. We like unlock achievements and stuff like that.

It's very funny. Achievements? I didn't see that. Yeah. Like the other day, I logged in on the phone, and it was like, you're now mobile, and you got like a badge that like pops up. It's like in fantasy hockey when you make a trade

and they're like, congrats, you got a medal for first trade of the year. It's exactly like that. I've never watched porn on my phone before. You're a rookie. What do you do if you're like, if you don't have a laptop you just don't watch porn? When do I ever not have a laptop? I don't know. When it gets stolen?

You got two laptops. I don't know, if I'm traveling. Or if you don't want to take your computer in the bath and you're in the shower. That's huge. If I'm in my girlfriend's house, well, I shouldn't have said that. If I'm in my girlfriend's house,

I'm not going to be taking my computer in the fucking bath. We know what's going on there. Why don't you just have sex with your girlfriend? Oh, you just think she can sense all the time? What if she doesn't want to? Casey, she said this yesterday. She said something like a hot girl thing that was like, that's not real life. Same thing here.

Why don't you just always have sex with your girlfriend? We try, okay? We want to. Sometimes if she's not always in the car. Maybe she fell asleep early, didn't feel good, and I'm going to consider it. I was like, hey, let me get you some chicken noodle soup, get your favorite show on TV, and you do whatever you want. Chivalry.

And then I'll take care of myself separately. And then I'll jerk off in your parents' bathroom. Yeah. What if I did that? Chivalry, Casey. Chivalry. It's not all about me. And guess what, Casey?

It's not all about me. I can't just have sex whenever I want. That's a love letter right there. Like YP being wifed up and still putting up numbers on the account. What do you mean? That's the only reason I am. That's when you put up numbers, dude. Guess what, Jared?

I got bad news for you, brother. When you dated Chick for a long time, the numbers on Pornhub go up, not down. That's the reason I am. That's when you put up numbers. Guess what, Jared? I got bad news for you, brother. When you dated Chick for a long time, the numbers on Pornhub go up, not down. That's a fact. There's a negative correlation between your numbers in real life and your numbers in Pornhub when your wife's up. Yes. Guess what? Got it.

Guess what? If I didn't have a girlfriend in St. Louis this weekend, my number would have been negative infinity because, dude, can I just say this too? I just got a DM too. Easy boy. Don't do it. Please don't do it. No, no. I'm talking about a separate thing. have been negative infinity because dude can i just say this too i just got a dm too a lot of people uh a lot of people don't do it please don't no no i'm talking about separate thing casey you have no faith in me he said did you know he said easy boy you know you're on the air just be careful i'm always careful i tell you real life and i'm being a good person so whatever

but first of all a lot of people sit uh dm yo we'd love to have you and boris i just saw people be like we want to come to this brewery for you and Boris to try this beer. And they're like, well, we don't need Boris to actually drink the beer. It's so funny how people tiptoe around the fact that he's a chinchilla. They're like, we'd love to have Boris come in for an appearance. Don't worry, he doesn't have to drink the beer. I'm like, yeah, I know he's not going to drink the beer. He's a fucking rodent.

And they're talking about naming beers after him and all this stuff. I had girls this weekend and saying, Casey, it's not a bad bad thing no no i know it's not a bad thing i'm just people want to people are like they want to have sex with you they're like can we meet boris like they want to have sex with you because you have a rat it's one of the craziest things like he's a famous rat that i'm getting boris groupies hitting me think about when you have like a puppy how it's like a chick bagged and now you have a famous animal a magic one a magic that's kevin you made me feel better because it's not as weird when you think about it like that yeah that's true it's like you take a dog out for the walk and girls come up to you you take the the rat out for an internet dance you're right like if you had

a famous puppy it'd be the same thing okay that's a good point but it was weird at first when chicks are like dming you to like bang them because you have like a rat that shits everywhere and chews cardboard boxes and rips them up. That's not why they want to bang you. That's just the end to talk to you. I guess but it's also like. Would you have banged Tuna's owner? It's a girl. If it was a guy? No. Who? That's a lie. No it's not. She has like an

Instagram dog that she cries over. Tuna, melt your heart. Have you seen him? I've seen, I know that account. I cried when I held him at PetCon last year. But no, I wouldn't have. I think if he was a good-looking guy, you would have. Oh, well, I mean, yeah. I wouldn't do it just because he was Tuna's owner.

But if Tuna was the in, then yeah. It is the crazy. Listen, man, I cashed in zero tickets, so credit to me. Good job, Ben. But I will say a lot of chicks, oh, can I come meet him? Like, it's the easiest thing, too, because he's never with me at a place. So it's like, Oh,

I want to come meet. It would be the number one. It's crazy. But, but for the love of the game, we're after Stanley cup final wins, not chicks on the prize, but,

but we, I will say a lot of Boris fans of all, you know, different genders, you know, you know, I'm just a case of evil this evil look no no i did nothing no no you've done nothing but i just am worried that a conversation that we had out there yesterday

is going to accidentally seep on air and you're going to be the same thing that i'm saying right now though people want to do crazy shit with me because i have famous rat what what's wrong with that i didn't nothing's wrong with that nothing if's wrong with that. Nothing is wrong. If I come to Jared and said, yo, my friends, they want you to invest in a popsicle stand. Did he do anything wrong? I'm not saying... No, my point is...

Ben, Ben, I am not saying that you did anything wrong. A lot of chicks want to get in that popsicle stand. No, no, no, no, no, Kevin. My point is, if someone comes to you with an opportunity and presents it to you, you didn't do anything wrong.

I'm just me. I'm standing there. Why can't I just say it, Casey? You're making me feel guilty. What you're failing to understand here is that rationally, correct. If you say that to a guy, sure. You say that to a girl that you're with, she's not prone to have

the same logical response. Someone came up to me and asked me something. No, go ahead and say what you were about to say. I was going to say, if you went to your girlfriend. She's not prone to have the same logical response. Someone came up to me and asked me something. No, go ahead and say what you were about to say. I was going to say, like, if you say to your girlfriend that, like, all these girls want to fuck me and I'm not fucking them, she's going to be like, congrats on not cheating on me. That's literally. Like, you're never going to win with that. No. That's literally.

Yeah. Or you'll get a pat on the back for, like, what's the bare minimum. I'm just telling you. But it's also not. Like, it's also like, I'm a human being and 10 billion chicks are damn it huh guess what my like dick brain is like oh that would be fun of course it would you're

right you're rational your girl is never gonna girls don't see that I never thought of it like that he looked over at Frankie and was like don't you see what I'm saying and Frankie was like no yeah I don't Frankie knows what I'm saying no personally he does but yes but girls we also know how the girls are gonna react yeah whatever can I just say Casey for fuck's sake what I'm saying. No, personally he does, but girls, we also know how the girls are going to react. Whatever. Can I just say it, Casey? For fuck's sake.

What? It's not up to Casey. It's up to you. No, but it is because you're making me feel bad. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. You haven't done anything wrong. You have done nothing wrong. If you are comfortable saying something, then you can say it. As Jared knows, in this Barstool world, it's like one of the craziest places. I guess like sports

is kind of a similar thing where you could go from being like a bum, like I was living in my parents' basement, and now a couple fortuitous bounces. I got a magic rat. Who knew? And all these things. I was presented with a situation

to fuck two hot-ass blonde chicks at the same time the other night. Two chicks at the same time, man. And they were missiles too, like I swear to God. And I was like, that's a crazy, like, and they were like, that's amazing that you asked that they were like come to the thing now bring Boris and I didn't do it but in that moment

it wasn't a threesome it was technically a foursome with an animal I will show you the DM right now I had a chick say something she did hashtag three way about about me, her, and Boris. That's crazy. Crazy. And I was like, what the fuck?

I get it's a joke. It's a bit much. But my point is, I was sitting there. I'm like, what a world, Rocket. It's more like, honestly, I didn't do it. And it's more just for stats. It's like, you know when someone like. It's more about knowing that you could.

I still got it like that. It's like when a restricted free agent gets an offer sheet. that's what it is i didn't sign it i'm still staying with my hometown team but look what the market was yeah do you know what i mean analogies he's the greatest same thing it's in it's fishing is the only other thing i can do that it's the same thing and that's all i had a bait you go back to the hometown fans they listen listen look at how much i Same thing. Fishing is the only other thing I can do that with. It's the same thing. I had a bait. You go back to the hometown fans.

They listen. Listen. Look at how much I fucking appreciate you. I could have. Because I stayed here for less money. And I just want you to know that I could be. I could be out there making millions. Dude, you want to talk about a hometown discount? But I'm staying here to get my fucking number retired.

Win a goddamn championship. I want a retirement tour. You make perfect sense because you know what, Jared? That makes perfect sense, but girls do not get it. I know, they don't get it. They'll never get it. I took a pretty big hometown discount when you have six. No, no, not like that.

But I'm saying it's like six chicks at once. That's a big contract. People know he's only got one dick. But I'm saying. Fuck, we got to go to Brains. That's a multi-year max deal. Jesus Christ. Your brain is perfect.

That's like two contracts at once. Yeah. The problem is the hometown fans might not always. They don't care. They're like, you should have stayed with us. Fair enough. You shouldn't have even been at the negotiating table. You shouldn't have even been looking elsewhere.

I wasn't. They sent the offer sheet to me. The hometown fans, sometimes they're irrational, man. I'm a hometown guy. That's it. Let's go to break. Hour number two coming up. We'll be right back. No shame, you looking insane. We're going to talk about Christmas. Tell me about it. But when you talk about it, guess what? Hour number two, YP's still with us.

We're debating here YP's logic. No, no. Yeah, see, I didn't say it on air because I knew you didn't want me to say it on air. No, we don't have to talk about it, and it's not a huge deal. It's just, to me, it's the same thing where it's like we think in very, like the sports thing, it's like if Mitch Marner gets like a 13 million dollar offer sheet for the Maple Leafs this season there's I mean it's gonna change

but people will just be like damn dude that's crazy that someone's gonna pay you that that's all it is okay what if it was okay let me what if it was different roles what if the roles were reversed and your girlfriend went out and like some smoke show athlete was trying to date her, fuck her, whatever.

And she said no. And then she came home to you and she was like, hey. That's different. No, but that's not allowed. Like, hey, Ben. Hold on. Hey, Ben. This like really rich smoke show athlete wants to date me.

But you know what? I'm just going to settle with you. Let's say this. You'd be like, excuse me, what? Not settle. I never said I'd settle. You said you took a hometown discount. No, no, no. The point. No, no, no, no, no. Let me make this very clear. Hold on. I'm going to make this very clear.

It's not settle or hometown discount. My point is, I more just mean like stay with the same team. If you stay with the same team, you are, if you, hold on. There's a difference between staying with the same team after... If you guys broke up and then you got back together,

that's different than you just staying with her because if you stay with the same team without testing the free agent market, you're going to inevitably take less money. First of all... Okay, yes. But that's true. That's how it works.

We're not just talking. No, but if you were single... Can I just make this point? If they broke up and then he was out there testing the waters. That's a lot different. Tom Brady takes a discount every single year. With the best team in the league.

Exactly. Can I just make this point? He's not taking a hometown discount. No, but he's not ever trying to go anywhere else. YP, what I'm trying to tell you is that if your girlfriend said the exact same thing to you and was like, there's this great option out there. So here's the thing with YP. You wouldn't like it. Let me please just make this point first because out of respect.

YP isn't signing elsewhere, but it's like the idea of becoming a free agent and at least taking some dinners with some agents and some general managers. Let the man speak. For fuck's sake, out of respect to my girlfriend, let me speak. It's kind of like the Tom Brady thing you said where it's like, this is the best situation with the best coach that's going to win a championship. But he's still playing. How many dollars? He makes $2 million. My point is, my girlfriend, my best friend,

the reason, guess why I'm not fucking these chicks? Because I love her. So everyone can shut the fuck up. But my point is, it's like, if someone was like, Tom Brady's going to play for the Patriots, the best situation, the best thing where he wants to be,

that's where I want to be. And guess what? Look at my actions. I'm here. But if someone's like, damn, it's crazy. The Tom Brady could get like 60 million from like the Cardinals.

That's still, that's all I'm saying is like, if someone offered him like, Hey, like the, just saying that much like fans, you. That's still. That's all I'm saying. Is like. If someone offered them like. Hey. Like the. I'm just saying that. Much like fans. You get irrational at times.

And girls. Always want to feel secure. But when. When they. If they feel like you. You want something else. Or the other girls. That might be prettier.

Or whatever else you might think. Are around. They might just feel insecure. Even with you staying put. And saying. I don't want to go anywhere. They now feel insecure about it. So that's why they won't be okay with it.

But I also think that. Yes. Girls are going to be way more insecure and way more irrational than guys are. Yes. But if your girlfriend came home and said, Hey, I go on the road all the time and there's all these dudes like throwing themselves at me. I'm not doing anything though, but I just want to let you know it's out there. And then she goes back out on the road and it's around all those hot dudes. You're going to be sitting at home and you're going to be like, okay, is this the day that

she's finally going to give in and fuck this rich athlete? On the other hand, there's also the reality of the situation where it's like right now with Barstool, like if I'm, if I'm in St. Louis and get a bill or a million views on that Brad Hall video, 52 or you know, whatever the division out of 50 are going to do it. That's just, I'd rather tell and be upfront. Like, damn, how crazy people are saying this yeah we sat in bed the other night this was like a week ago and i was showing her the dms chicks in and we'd go through and rate them like how funny is this like oh this chick's

kind of nasty this chick's kind and we i swear to god like this is why i'm so open with it because me and her open we sat in bed i was like i was like damn this chick's pretty hot i like that's a good sign i'm getting a little bit higher like I swear to God, we sat in bed and we were like, all right, okay, we're cooking with gas. We got a couple hot because it used to be just like random, not that good look. Now it's like, okay, we're getting a little better. We're getting a little better. I swear to – you can ask her. Not on air.

I try to keep her out of everything, but it's like – Except we've been talking about it for like four days. No, but I'm – my point is she knows. Yeah. Like if I tell her, Hey, cop crazy is this. She's like, wow, that's hilarious. I mean, if I'd rather be upfront about it. Yeah.

I mean, it's better to be honest about the situation. It is a weird one because you know, you start working at Barcelona and you get a lot of attention and it's just like, we can bury our heads in the sand and not pretend it's not the case. Or let's be realistic about it. Yes. Like, that's like, I was talking with my friend on, on not pretend it's not the case or let's be realistic about it. Yes. Like,

that's like, I was talking with my friend on, on team about it the other night. We were all the time. You don't think those, the wives of the players know that every chick in that stadium wants to bang them. So to ignore that is just like stupid. Like,

like that's all I'm saying. I'm just saying that for you to think that it's just rational, like, Oh yeah, like this is happening. If her to be like, yeah, for sure.

It's rational. I totally understand. But it's also like like oh yeah like this is happening if her to be like yeah for sure it's rational i totally understand but it's also like guess what you want all the the perks that come with stuff like i took her to the game the other night stanley cup final it's like well to go to a free thing and have all this stuff there's gonna be people that dm your board that's just kind of how i understand that 100 that's like that's like if you if you're dating a rich guy and it's like oh like other people want it want – it's like, yeah, but you also get to live in a pool. But also you have to remember, like I remember having that argument with my wife, not about hooking up with girls, but just about like my time. It was like I'm always blogging.

I'm always on my phone. I'm always this, that, and the other thing where that used to bother her a lot. And I was like – well, I remember this was years ago, like the main thing. I was like we just took a helicopter to the Hamptons. Right. And got like the red carpet treatment, me, you, all of our friends. Like it was,

and she was like, I don't care. I don't want that. So I would rather a boyfriend who like is not on his phone all the time. I don't like, like get rid of the helicopter rides and give me a boyfriend who like gives me his time. I would rather that.

And I was like, okay, well, uh, point taken. You know what I mean? It was like, you were still dating. Yeah. This was like, I mean, yeah, well, point taken. You know what I mean? It was like, you were still dating.

Yeah. This was like, I mean, yeah, I know. I know. But it's also hard because it's like, to that point, a number one, it's easy to say that. And then when you're dating some accountant that like, and then you're watching the other guys that are getting all these helicopter rides, that chick's like, man, if only I could do that, it's very easier to say that. Cause we've had that argument too. I forgot where we were

the problem with Barstool 2 is a lot of peak posting times for like outdoors Instagram is like 7 to 9 at night we get the most views well if we're at dinner and I haven't posted something in a day and a half guess what that account has 600,000 followers I'm going to need to post something really fast at dinner it takes 5 minutes

but it's like get off your phone it's like I'm not even being a douche I have to do this i hate to get off your phone rockets people rockets the got the formula though like like you were just laughing about like what was i even doing yeah we were just dating you just have to like have such a like just chop that off yeah my biggest problem and this sounds this is almost like when you're on an interview and you're like i care too much right whatever like my biggest problem was I was too accommodating. Like I was always like, all right, I'll fix it or I'll do it better. And I should have just been like, this is the deal.

Are you in or are you out? Right. And that's the thing too. Like, for instance, when we drove, we drove from New York all the way to St. Louis with Boris, right? They wouldn't let him on a plane, all this stuff. We get there and first of all, we're going from New York to St. Louis. So it goes through like Harrisburg, whatever. Well, I was like, of all, we're going from New York to St. Louis, so it goes through like Harrisburg, whatever. Well, I was like, oh, man, we're going.

Philly's like it's 45 minutes extra, but that's where the whole like Gloria thing started at that bar. What is that, by the way? Why in Philly? So this dude, shout out to Larry Flowers, legend, but he took some of the blues there. They were playing the Flyers the next day, which is so funny that like no one's even caused a sting about that.

They were just getting obliterated. Like that whole thing started. They're getting blacked out the next day, which is so funny that no one's even caused a sting about that. They were just getting obliterated. That whole thing started. They're getting blacked out the night before a game, and they shut them out. So it's hilarious. But people probably don't know that that happens. Anyways, I went to the bar, long story short. And anyways, these guys were like, it was when they were last placed in the league, and it was Binnington's first start the next day.

These dudes, these super Philly guys, they were obsessed with that glorious song one dude i met the guy at the bar it's like this random guy who just works at this random bar that this guy larry flowers was friends with one of the dudes on the team they're like you gotta go to this place he's he's like a legend he's like the worldwide west of the nhl kind of yeah he's busy and all them's boy i was with him the other night and you're just like it's one. He's like World Wide West, where it's like this dude knows everything and everyone. Yeah. Just a cool guy, you know? Anyways, so then they started playing it. They shut him out the next day, and they were like, you know, play Gloria.

That was like the thing, because they kept playing it over and over at the bar. And that was when the whole winning streak, everything started. And all of a sudden, it was like. It's your thing, yeah. It's such a crazy thing. But anyways. They were playing at the Yankee Stadium over the weekend were they yeah awesome but the cool thing is so it's like we're driving across i'm like how funny would it be to bring boris to the bar whatever and she's like no like you know like it's an extra we were leaving at like nine at night i was like let's try to get

far so tomorrow we can get to st louis in some time. But I'm like, it's 45 minutes extra on the GPS. It's a great story. It's like content. We're going. It's like it's hard to explain in times like that. And then it's like she doesn't want to go into some rant. It was like a weird situation. But it's like, guess what?

That's the life, bro. And it's like that's the thing where it's hard. It seems stupid and all these things. And then when we got to Enterprise the next day, it's dark out everything. I'm like, hey, take a picture of me and Boris with, like, the Stanley Cup, like, decal in the background. Like, hey, we're here. We're, like, gunning for that thing. Right.

And, like, we couldn't get the picture right. There's people walking by. She's getting mad. And it's like, you feel like a douchebag, but it's like, guess what? This is, like, the type of thing where it's like, if this is a good picture and we get the cup, it's, like, an epic thing. Where if not, it's like you're just missing out on something that, and the more you care, like I'll say this about like Dave, like when we, when he got to St. Louis, we did a million pizza reviews.

Then he went, I dropped them off at the hotel. Him and Frankie went back out to do the Ted Drew's thing, all this stuff. And guess what? Like Dave is addicted to making content like that. Like he gets in the hotel, he can't help himself, but go back. And it's like, that's how you get to a higher thing. You can go, I could be like,

yeah, let's go to dinner. I'm not going to post, but that's the only way you're going to get more followers and everything is living that way. You got to find someone that's on board with it. And she is. And it's like,

that's fine. Some people don't want to live that way. You like brunettes, you like blondes, you like people who are on the go. You like people who are always around, like whatever it may be. And I get it, but it's better to just be realistic.

And she was with it, for the record. I'm just saying it's one of those things where it's like I can't even be flexible. And I snap – like even with my parents, like the hardest thing too the other night after we did the bread hole thing, right? It was a miracle. Everyone's going crazy. I'm holding Boris in my hands, and I'm trying to tweet because I'm like if this goes up five minutes after the game when everyone's in a frenzy,

it will go this much percent better than if I keep partying, talk to people. People are coming up for pictures, and you feel like a douche, but I was like, I have to post this. They keep talking to me. I'm like, hold on. I got to post this. It seems so dumb you're tweeting something, but it's like, hey, guess what? And the other thing, too, you know how you start a Twitter video,

the first slide is like whatever shows up on the thing when you're scrolling it's like stop talking to me i have to figure out what's the best slide to you know what i mean it's like there's so many things the wording of the tweet like i was like should i just be featuring a lot of people don't a lot of people don't appreciate that when they're not in it you seem like a douche when you're like hold on i'm posting something it's a tweet but it's also like this is gonna make or break like a lot of stuff well the difference is because the job that we do other people do for fun right like i don't ever do your job for fun i don't i don't go like write these reports for fun i don't go on sales calls and conference calls for fun so you're like you're like but like that's guess what 19 man

this is more important than you i'm sorry i've gone to restaurants where like the waitress will like come back and be like get off your phone like what are you doing on it i'm like shut the fuck up a waitress doing that it's crazy yeah the craziest thing is like guess what you know why i get to bring this fucking rat in here and walk around downstairs with the players and all this because i'm fucking taking like yeah that's just the truth it's like a ticket it's key. It's like you need to do it. And the better you are with it, you're going to get to do more stuff. I completely agree. I'm obviously in this world as well.

I could understand how a guy that's dating a girl that's in the world or vice versa would say, okay, like when you're doing content, that's fine. The problem is, it's like when you're sitting there and somebody's just scrolling through Twitter because they're so addicted to it. You're just looking at it. That's wildly different. But also if Casey posts something funny and I'd never, I'm not on my phone, I'm at dinner,

and don't say anything. Okay, fine. If you post something funny and I'm in a spot, like remember when I did the picture of you, like the no pants picture, the sweater thing? Oh, that was hilarious. On Thanksgiving. I fucking love that.

But it's like, if I wasn't looking at my, like, then I was like, oh, we should do this. So I went in, like, got the thing, took the pic. I forgot you did that. That was really funny. Here's the thing. If you really want to do the job to its maximum, it's a 24-7 thing. I'm happy for everybody who's in a relationship here.

It's got to be simple. It's fucking simple. You have to have a real down-ass bitch to have a relationship and do the job successfully at its highest level at the same time. And there's also – it's the flip side too. That's why Rhea and Hank work so well. It's because they work here. They get it.

Yeah, but I'm saying – They have built-in time together here. But also when they're at dinner, if she's like, Hank, get off your phone, Hank's like, well, Dave, you know, it's like, oh, I get it. She would never even say that. She'd be like, oh, like, what are you looking at? It's not like they're like holding hands at the desk in here. Like they see each other. But like it helps to be able to see the person physically.

Just know what they're doing. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's like, I'm sure there's a lot of girls who like maybe are like Instagram models or whatever that have dudes taking that are in their lives or husbands or boyfriends taking those pictures of them because they are supporting them there's gonna be other guys like I don't want my wife I don't want my girlfriend out there in a bathing suit it's just two different people I think you're a loser if like you're dating

a girl that does something like that and then all of a sudden you start getting jealous yeah like that's what you signed up for dude especially I think you're a loser if like it starts. If it develops, I still think it's like be secure with it. Yeah, who gives a fuck? As long as obviously the other person has to hold up their end of the bargain and not be like a dick about it.

But if – I mean if your girlfriend starts doing porn, I feel like that's part of the line. From the jump, you're with a girl who's like – you find her on Instagram because she's an Instagram model and then you're going to give her shit about it? Stop posting hot pictures. Bro, why do you, you're with a girl who was like, you, you find her on Instagram because she's an Instagram model. And then you're going to give her shit about it. Stop posting hot pictures. Bro, why are you, why do you think you're even fucking here? I do have a question for you guys though. Cause I feel like this is a normal thing. And I think girls are just jealous of any girl because we're irrational.

It doesn't matter if this girl is nothing or if she's something. I feel like guys, they sign up for that and they're like, oh yeah, like this girl's a real, like really hot, whatever. But then the second that a girl gets the attention of somebody that in the guy's mind is better than them, that's when guys get jealous. Yeah. A hundred percent. Like if some schmuck like slides in a hot girl's DMs that you're dating, you're like, whatever, like who the fuck is this guy?

Some really nice looking, maybe richer, maybe has more status guy. Does it? The fucking world falls down. I mean, that's just like human nature where it's like, I't care i don't care i don't care i'm sort of threatened and then it's exactly but i feel like that's the difference is that girls across the board like girls are just like i don't want any girl talking to my gross girl but that's because dogs and are like oh this chick is like breathing like i'm in like you know what i mean it's like guys like wait like that dude is actually like no but i better looking than me, taller than me. I also think it's not even like that guy – yeah, girls are going to be like, oh, man, my man is a dog and he'll fuck anything, so I got to worry about anything.

I think it's much more about the attention and security than it is like the literal sex that might possibly occur. Yes, yes. It's like I want – I mean also at the end of the day, this doesn't even have to be with sex. Girls get mad when you go out with the guys. Girls get mad when you are like, not all girls, but a lot of girls. We're generalizing, of course, like they, girls don't like when you have fun without them when you're dating. I don't think that that's necessarily true.

I think it's, I mean, I think it's pretty true. I think a lot of girls will be that way. Again, generalizing. There are some that are. Yeah, like you're, you're, you're. And I'm not trying to be like, oh, I'm a cool girl. Like, I've never gotten mad at my boyfriends. I don't even know if that's just girls.

If I see, like, my friends having fun without me, I'm like, dang, I wish I was there. I don't feel like I... Yeah, no, no, but I feel like there's a certain type of girl and certain type of relationship that is pretty common. So we're generalizing, but I think there's a lot of people where it's like they don't want to... They don't want you to be fun or be with anybody else without without them it's like we are together we should be together we should be doing things together why are you choosing oh what you'd rather be with them than me you'd rather be with her than

me and that's where the problem is like it's not just about sex it's about like ego and security where it's like well why are you choosing to be with them instead of me or why did you want the guy's weekend or why do you not want me around and all that kind of shit i'm pretty crazy i do some irrational things i've never understood the girls that don't let their boyfriends or husbands or whatever go have fun without them because that makes them happier which then in turn makes your life happier like we talked about this with golf well it's an insecurity like i like my boyfriend wants to go golfing for a fucking weekend that's because you have your own life that you're happy with oh yeah you're doing your own things you're happy with i think if if it's not equal if your

girl doesn't have her own girlfriends or her own thing if the girl's not happy or it depends on you and your happiness depends on a lot of other things and they're like fuck then there's having a balance when there's an imbalance something goes out of whack like you if you have have a job you like, and your girl has a job she doesn't like. That's going to be, like, a thing when you're happy about yours and she's miserable about hers. If you're always out with your guy friends and she doesn't have a lot of girlfriends or doesn't go out with her girlfriends the same way, then it's going to be, well, why are you doing that? I don't like that, so why do you like that? Maybe that's the difference. Because if I ever dated somebody that told me that I couldn't go for like a girls weekend somewhere, like you can't do that.

Like I have to be there. I'd be like, no, but that's not what girls do. They don't, they don't tell you that you can't go. It's just like, okay. If a guy made me feel guilty for going out with my girlfriends, like maybe that's why I'm like, like if my boyfriend always was only going out with his guy friends and never wanted me around, I'm like, Hey, we, maybe we have a problem here. But if I was going out with my girlfriends for the weekend and he was like, well, I don't know. Like, why can't I go?

I'd be like, what are you talking about? Because it's a girls weekend. What about this though, Casey? I've experienced like, just not jealousy, but if your girlfriend's hanging out with chicks that you know are like out there mixing it up with dudes, all like a bachelorette type of thing where it's like, you know these chicks.

No, like you. Yeah. Like I know girls that we went to college with that. My girlfriend's friends with where I know, like, cause I know they've done it to my, I've seen all my friends like have hooked up. And it's like, if you're going out with them,

it's not like I'm jealous, but I'm also like, man, what is the point of this? I know what, I know what your, and I feel like that goes the other way. Even worse when girl,

when girls know that you, their man is out with a few dogs. Because guys are much more prone to be like, well, I'm going to do it too. That's our lives, though. It's like if we go out, it's like, oh, well, you're going out with the barstool people. That's going to be crazy. And then we're guilt by association. If I'm hanging out with biz and them, just guys who are just professionals, and it's like, what could she be thinking?

You know what's going on. I don't know. I don't know. It feel like it's a human nature thing to think that. There's also just like the security of it. It's like the relationship that I was last in. I went to Yacht Week and we never once got in. He didn't go with me. That was one of those things where we never once got in a fight.

I was ready to do the Lombada touchdown dance because we were ready and low key you actually. I mean Dan went on the rundown right before it's like, you know, you and your boyfriend are going to get in this like huge fight. I'll shout out to you, Casey.

Shout out to you that, Hey, we can give wins out here. Good. I thought that something was going to go wrong. You did a very different relationship ended anyways, but it had nothing to do. But my point is we all thought yeah,

week, there's going to be a problem. It wasn't a problem. So credit to you. One out of like a hundred times that yeah, week, isn't a problem. You were one of them because I can like a hundred times that Yacht Week isn't a problem. You were one of them.

Because I can control myself sometimes. That's how I feel too. When it's like, guess what? I love going to the bar in St. Louis when people, when situations like the other night presented, it's more just like, like an ego thing. Honestly, it's like, damn, that's crazy. You know, you could do it. But I can also call on the way home and be like, yo, you want to hear the craziest shit?

And to me, that's fine. Can I talk about the Yacht Week FaceTime? Uh-oh. What happened on the Y home and be like, yo, you want to hear the craziest shit? And to me, that's fine. Can I talk about the yacht week FaceTime? Oh, what happened? Was the week not so unproblematic? It wasn't me. It wasn't Casey. Don't use her real name. Okay.

Uh, Casey FaceTime me from yacht week. What was the time difference? Eight hours. So you were eight hours ahead. Yeah. So it was like the middle of the day. Like I was at the office. It was like one o'clock and she FaceTimes me and I answer.

And her friend is just like topless in the background. I was like, wait, what? That's awesome. We were in Europe. Did you see it? Yeah. She was talking to Jared. Yeah.

She was talking to Jared. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Y'all week is insane. Let's go. We're seeing titties. Jared, she was the one on FaceTime? No, no, no, Casey FaceTimed me. She was with me.

She was saying stuff in the background with her titties down. No, she was sitting right next to me. It wasn't in the background. So it was just like they were just there. They were out. It's Yacht Week, YP. I've never been to Yacht Week. We can go talk about Yacht Week off the air.

That crazy shit happened. That's sick. That sounds fucking cool. YP handed a high five. Imagine getting a FaceTime from these naked chicks. Tits are awesome, dude. I've never heard of that

happening. I also did not know that she was doing that. Like when I FaceTimed, first of all, it was like, it had to have been like three in the morning

at this point. And I don't even know why I thought I needed to FaceTime you. That was also when I didn't have any service. And every time I did get service, I was just getting lit the fuck up because Dave was going crazy about the Johnny Manziel stuff.

So I'm sure I was FaceTiming you to ask how bad it was at that point. And my friend, my friend was just behind me topless. And then all of a sudden in like the little tiny screen, I was like, yo, like I'm FaceTiming with my coworker. She was like,

okay. And just gets right into it. Like didn't care. Who's your friend? I mean, I'm not going to like die on national radio. Do you, do you like know this chick separately do i i mean that was the first time i think i ever let's just put it this way she has called into this program before i will say this it's so much it's louise dude it's 10 billion times hotter when you see like a naked chick that you know

versus random it's like if that was your friend that i'd hung out with but i'm saying and then you see that it's like oh my god i can't believe i'm seeing this one time in the middle of the fucking we've met in person since yeah you have that's awesome dude what are you like hey nice to meet you like what is she she didn't like like me or something when she said like i was a douchebag or she thought she were an actual douchebag yeah yeah she thought the rocket but then once she met you she was like oh like I was a douchebag or something. She thought she were an actual douchebag. Yeah. Yeah. She thought of the rocket. But then once she met you, she was like, Oh,

like that's a personality. I get it. Yeah. Like, yeah, literally everyone. And I will tell you, she's been very vocal recently about your glow up.

Ooh, very vocal. Oh, very, very rocket. Have him. Look at this. She was asking me,

she was like, listen, like, I mean, he's like a good looking guy. But now, like, what happened from December to now? It's the shoes. Those are good shoes.

It's definitely the hair. It's always the hair. Maybe you got hair at an older age. If you have hair to grow and you don't have it grown out, you are fucking crazy. It's crazy because dudes shit on it all the time. But girls are like, oh my God. Dudes are like, fucking get a haircut. You look like shit.

And then girls are like, wow. Isn't that hilarious? And you sound like, fuck my face. Even just like trying to make me puke in my nostrils. Make me puke into my nose. No, let's not go back to that, please. You sound like a dick even ever just saying that. But it's just like when someone's railing on like anything about your appearance, if at any time a girl has been like, well, you look nice.

It's like, well, I don't care what you think, dude. Because a very pretty, nice girl said the opposite to me, so that matters more. You know you see that a lot, and I know all of you guys dress trendy to a certain degree. Guys are always the one to shit on guys' jeans. You never really see like online like you never see girls being like oh those jeans are so tight or whatever it's always dudes like hey man get out of those skinny jeans it's like well actually like girls like the skinny jeans so fuck yourself yeah but hey wouldn't it be beautiful if yacht week brought you and louise together a topless

face time married to the game babe at least until what time for shit you gotta pull a jeeter until like 40 i'm not even saying you should date her. I'm just saying, if a topless FaceTime from Yacht Week... That could be your story. How'd you guys meet?

Oh, your mom was dumping him out on Yacht Week. When I'm the best man at the wedding, I'm going to be like, well, let me tell you about how these two met. I have a lot of girlfriends

on that trip. So there, I mean, could be any of those girls. I'm definitely taking the Jeter blueprint. There will be a four in front of my age on my wedding day. Wow. Well, you say that and you probably strive for that until you meet the one. No, everyone's like that.

I'm not a fool. No, listen. Put it this way. I'll tell you this much. If you are getting married and you. And you have a four handle. Yeah. That won't last. Why?

Because you'll be like, all right, I'm 42 now. I can get married. I'm like, I'll like settle, settle. Yeah. What? What? What? What?

You'll have a happy marriage if you're like 36 and you're like, oh, shit, this is the one. You know, I want to stay married to the game. I want to just keep blogging about baseball. But you know what? Like this girl, I can't get her off my mind. I want to see her. I want to stay married to the game i want to just keep blogging about baseball but you know what like this girl i can't get her off my mind i want to see her i want to take her to the games with me that's when you'll get married and that's when i don't think i could do this job and have a wife i don't i don't think i don't think you guys what the way you're doing the rocket and the way you everything you have the there's there's a like it's a pie

chart you know what i mean and if you give a hundred percent of your job there's no time for a marriage and then and then if you give 60 40 50 50 however the breakdown like it's a pie chart, you know what I mean? And if you give 100 percent of your job, there's no time for a marriage. And then and then if you give 60, 40, 50, 50, however, the breakdown is it's literally like like listen, like I'll wake up, right? I wake up. He's giving you six years, though. I know. I know. But even still, it's like what comes off the table?

So like I wake up, I'll do like podcasts in the morning, radio in the afternoon, Snapchat after that, go home, maybe go to the gym. Then I go to the game starts at seven the west coast games end at like 1 30 and then on the weekends that's when you're it's like oh well maybe he'll have time for you then then we travel on the weekend but when where like what am i gonna take off somebody will eventually i don't know when for you somebody will eventually like hit you enough to where you're like you you know what? I want you along for this ride. You're not taking anything off the table.

You're adding something to it. That is how I feel about everybody else who's in baseball. Like they're kind of doing the same thing. It's like I would never go to a nine to five to make their life about me, though. But they would have to if they wanted to be with me. But if they let me know, selfless rocket. Right. Like YP, you understand what I'm saying?

No, I agree. You're not having to like take something off the table. If you find the person you really want to be with that can understand what you're doing, you would then add them to it. That's how it is. I'm like, yo, Mal, you've got to see this shit. Like, you're not going to believe. Like, Stanley Cup final game, I was like, you've got to come because there's no way to describe. You want her to see it.

You want her to be with you. Frankie does a great job at it. Frankie grinds all the time. I want to go on a trip with you, and I want to do all these things with you, Frankie does a great job at it. Frankie grinds all the time. Sometimes there's just like a time. It's just like, but I want to see you. I want to go on a trip with you. And I want to do all these things with you. And you can't do it. But the person who, like Frankie, YP, like these are great examples.

Because like Frankie grinds a million percent. And like I was with his girlfriend a weekend ago. And she was like, listen, like I signed up for this. I still love him. I like to spend more time with him. They live in the same city though. Like I think when I'm in Boston, I'll be able to have something super serious. I would never like,

I'm not going to be able to, long distance is crazy. Yeah. Long distance is not great. Yeah. You're not going to meet, you're not going to have a normal, a normal functioning relationship with like me in New York,

somebody in Boston. And then you're not, I'm not going to meet somebody in New York and start something knowing that eventually my end game is to go to Boston. Listen, listen, Kevin, the fact that you guys even felt for this, KZ and Kevin, this is the rocket driving the

price up right now. This is the agent I'll change them. The agent just said he's not signing for anything less than 10 years and 200 million and you guys were like, well, I mean no, listen, every single girl now is like, no, I'll be the one to change the rocket.

They love a project. They got to get to him, though. Look at this motherfucker. You think he doesn't know what he's doing? I'm on to you, rocket. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you can recognize that. But I really do think it'll be.

Well, you said 36? Yeah. Something like that. I'll take the over on 37 and a half. Because you still just need to also feel like you did this long enough. Yeah. Guess what? Six years from now, you'll probably be like where you're going to be. Guess what did this long enough. Yeah. Guess what? Six years from now,

you'll probably be like where you're going to be. Guess what, Jared? You don't get to pick. You don't get to pick. You think I wanted to be cashed out of the game at 19? No, you don't get to pick.

Once you, like, when Mrs. Rocket comes along, it could be in a month and you have no choice. The Rocket was sabotaged. I don't know if he felt it. For sure. He sabotages literally everything in his life. Yeah. See ya. he sabotages everything yeah i know i don't know i don't know but that's also like when you

because he hasn't really met the one that's the thing you met ones that kind of give you a little tingling you know what will happen you'll meet a girl you'll sabotage it yeah but you want people to get it out of your head and you'll be like and you'll come you'll come back around yeah okay fair enough i was wrong like hey or or like, and you'll come, you'll come back around. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. I was wrong. Like, Hey, or, or like something like a chance encounter. Like you did break up with her,

but like you run into her a Fenway or something. And then you don't even want to rekindle it. That's always how it goes down. Whether he sabotaged it or not, that will come along before then. And you have no choice. Like what, whether it like happens,

you know, whether it follows through, I think that it's like, you don't get to choose. Like nobody plans on that. You know what I mean? And I bet you'll be the type to be like, yo, girl, listen, I don't want you to change for me. So and she'll be like, no, I want I want to change. I love you enough to change.

By the way, I just put something together in my head. CCK, the three of us, we're like the king and queen of self-sabotage. Yeah. Like we might as well have that as our byline. We suck. CCK, the three of us, we're like the king and queen of self-sabotage. Yeah. Like, we might as well have that as our byline. We suck. CCK, we suck. Certainly not great. Self-sabotaging on the daily basis.

Dan from Georgia, you've been on the line for a minute. What's up? Let's go, Rockets! Let's go! That's right. That's right. Sorry. No, I was kind of chiping in on what y'all were talking about earlier about porn stars.

Do you think that there are some porn stars that may be more famous than some famous athletes? Definitely. They're probably more famous than... Yeah, there's definitely porn stars. Wait, let's define what level of fame are we talking about. I would say like hockey players. like the most famous hockey player. Easy. Yeah, I mean, I agree with that, but I also want to call a famous hockey player the most famous person in the world.

I'll be honest, I can't name one baseball players. No way. That is Austin. Are you kidding me? Correct. Yeah, no way. From a casual like sports fan. No fucking shot.

There's not like, I mean, and I'm saying this because as a casual sports fan of hockey, baseball players are way bigger. Who's the most famous hockey player? I'm not saying. Maybe on average, I think they are. On average, you couldn't name a single person. I couldn't name one person on the Miami Marlins. Literally name one. Nobody can.

We're talking about the highest level. The highest level hockey players and the highest level baseball players, it's not even close. It's not even a real team. My point is, on average. The highest level hockey players and the highest level baseball players, it's not even close. It's not even close. I think if we're taking globally, I think it definitely could be. I'm talking like Canada, Europe. Hockey's way bigger. I think baseball, it's like, I couldn't name someone on the diamond.

Is Greinke on the diamond back still? We're not talking about that. We're talking about the biggest names. Bryce Harper versus who in hockey? Like Sidney Crosby? I mean, that you look up like the most famous athletes in the world, I can guarantee you there's like the 10. They always have like that list.

Like Tom Brady's always like six or seven or whatever. I can guarantee you. All right. Maybe I'm in the middle of a track that top like 100. Most sports fans couldn't pick Sidney Crosby out of a lineup. Maybe I'm in the middle of a Stanley Cup run and I'm a little hockey-ish. But in my mind, retired NBA players will like, you'll get through like 250 of those

before you get to a hockey player. All right, whatever. Now, there's not a whole bunch in baseball, but there still is a handful. I think that porn stars

used to be more famous. Yeah. Really? Like Lisa Ann. There's like amateurs and shit like that where it's like, it used to just be

Jenna Jameson and everybody knew who Jenna Jameson was. Is Lisa Ann coming in tomorrow to do KFC Radio? Yeah, she's doing porn. No, Jameson was. Is Lisa Ann coming in tomorrow to do Caves for Radio? Porn, yeah, she's doing porn. No, no, no. Is she doing this radio program?

No, she's doing Caves for Radio. Damn. Is she going to do it on the internet? I have questions. Oh, yeah. Maybe I'll call it. Maybe I'll, no, I can't call it. FaceTime in?

Like whenever I did my test. Maybe we'll FaceTime. You want to, I'll FaceTime and I'll just like set you up in the corner. I'll be on the train too. Like just be on the train like, hey, Lisa. I will tell you he's good at that because back in the corner. I'll be, I'll be on, I'll be on the train too. Like I just be on the train. Like Lisa. So I will tell you he's good at that because, uh, back in the day when I did my first test with Johnny Manziel,

you sat right in the corner and watch the whole thing. Didn't make it weird. Sorry about that. Like a cuck man. You're just sitting there. I was kind of a cuck. I was the cuck and Casey was the guy banging my girlfriend. Seriously.

Yeah. You, it was like you were like interview banging Johnny and I wanted to do that. And I watched you do it. Sick. You, it was like, you were like interview banging Johnny and I wanted to do that and I watched you do it. Sick. No, but I mean, he sat in the corner and just watched the whole thing. Come up with a couple questions and I'll ask him for you. And then you got to just sit and let him

respond. This right now, this is Frankie Foreplay. Come on in, fella. Come here. Come on in. You look like a deer. Foreplay in the building. Jared's talking shit. I want to let my guy at least talk in. You look like a deer. He wants foreplay in the building. Jared's talking shit. I want to let my guy at least talk back. You look particularly lesbian-ish right now.

Yeah. I don't know what it is, if it's the haircut, really short on the sides, the lack of facial hair from the cup run, the lack of the cup run. He's got a little facial hair right now. I don't know. Right now, you look like you're 12. And I have this titty problem I'm dealing with right now. Oh, have you heard about the titty problem?

You got tits? It's really bad. You're putting on pounds? It's a skinny fat thing. I know that's your thing, Dan. But it is. It's not my thing. It's our thing, unfortunately.

It's the worst thing to be a part of. There's these pictures that come out. Yeah, it's tough, man. There's a picture. It's not even tits. It's like puffy nipples. Yeah, Vidalbert had the puffy nipples. Oh, it's so bad. Every time I walk up. Did's not even tits. It's like puffy nipples. Yeah, Feidelberg had the puffy nipples for a while. Oh, it's so bad.

That's because he did steroids. But every time I walk up. Did he? Oh, yeah. The reason I walk up. I don't think of you as skinny fat, though. I think you're a pretty true dude. Kevin, what happened this morning?

I was sitting right there. I didn't know that. Rudy looked over at Frankie this morning. He was like, hey, man, I'm sorry I did that to you on stool scenes. And I was like, well, now I have to see. He zoomed in on a shirt that Frankie was wearing. How bad were those tits? It was wearing. How bad were those tits? It was bad. How bad were those tits?

I was like Frankie you don't have tits what are you talking about? I'm looking at him in this shirt and I'm like there's no way it's that bad. I don't know if it was an angle. I don't know if Frankie was like doing something that day to his own nipples. Yeah it's like weird pounds though. I have to have like puffy nipples.

You have like love handles. It's so bad man. But it doesn't grow anywhere it needs to grow. I have a gut. I have like puffy nipples. You have like love handles. Oh yeah. It's so bad, man. But it doesn't grow anywhere it needs to grow. Like I have chicken legs. I can't wear shorts. I have to wear jeans every second. It doesn't go on my arms.

It's like not, it just grows on my neck, my tits and my gut. It's the worst. Where the fuck is that coming from? And you gotta remember, you butter knife follow shots too. Yeah, okay. I'm just saying,

if we're counting up bad things. The reason I walked in is because Jared always gives me this fucking look. And he always talks shit. I've told you that. Every time you walk by, he starts talking shit about me. He literally walked out of the podcast room and started looking at me. Because he gave me a look.

I will say this. Rock it. In fairness, anyone who walks by here, I look at them. Like Noah's walking by right now. No, Jared. Jared. Come on. You do this look like you're the baddest dude on the block and you stare at people and you go.

Yeah, no, I have bad vision. I think he's just like kind of doing a radio show. But not, but not. But it doesn't come. No, I'm not talking right now. Every single. He makes me think that he's trashing me on the radio every time. I will say you do trash Frankie every single time he walks by.

Yeah. Every single time. Like they're all valid points, though. Like there's never been a time you've walked by. I just said you look like you're 15 years old. You shaved your cube beard, you got a haircut, and you're wearing a childish shirt. It's a Pup Punk shirt.

It's a Pup Punk shirt. July 27th. Mulcahy's, baby. We're in the building. I can't wait. I'm your home town, bro. I actually don't even know if that's ever been announced, but I guess it doesn't matter.

I was going to say, now it is. We're going to Borelli's. Pup Punk. Did you just do that? On Long Island, dude. I doesn't matter. I was going to say, now it is. We're going to Borelli's. Pump Punk. Did you just do that? On Long Island, dude. I don't know if that was supposed to be said. I guess it's out of the bag now. Yeah, it's a summer party.

Look at the redness. It's coming. I'm red right now. You know Deke Zucker is about to fuck you and put that all over Twitter. He's going to fuck you. I didn't say that. He's going to titty fuck you. I tried to grow a beard, and it didn't work.

You see what happened during the honors playoff round? It was really, really bad. Does it bother you that my hockey team is in the Stanley Cup, and I don't really care? You don't have a hockey team, Jared. I had Bruins season tickets before I had Red Sox season tickets. Wow, fraud Red Sox fan. You're not going to fucking do this now.

You're not going to do this. I'm literally saying I don't care. Does it bother you that my team is in the Stanley Cup final, and I don't really care? There's not really that. Like, I'd rather watch Red Sox Royals than Stanley Cup finals. I'm not going to. I'm not falling for this bullshit.

Your Red Sox are flailing out into the abyss. You have no hope. Really? What is the game's back right now? They're not even out of it. What? What is Yankees-Red Sox game's back right now? What are they, five and a half?

Seven and a half now. Yeah. Jesus. I mean, like, that's all they have to do is win one game. Like, they're going to make it to the wild card game if they don't win the division, win one game, and then it's Red Sox-Yankees in the playoffs and anything can happen. It's actually been pretty good for me this year. I haven't gotten in the mix with Jared.

The Islanders run really ruined, like, the beginning season of baseball for me. I just – I can't concentrate on both. I can't – you can't – I agree with you. You can't go all in. Like, you can't – like, could you tell me, like, really what the hell the St. Louis Cardinals are doing right now? People tweet me like, yo, when are you going to have this shirt? I'm like, I got only so much mojo.

You got so much shit going on with the Blues. You know what? I'm focused on my mojo on my rat in this Blues team. And all the threesomes you're being offered? Casey, come on, man. You're just putting gas on a fire. And I will say before I leave, last year, it was exhausting. And I'll give you credit.

I think Yankee fans go to Jared's Twitter and they want to see how he's trolling because it gets under our skin. It fucking infuriated me last year. Bro, everybody gets under your skin. You guys are so triggerable. I got triggered last year because you want to hate Jared, but he says some funny things. I'm not going to fucking suck your dick here, but you get under people's skin. And then this year

it just feels better to not be in the mix with you. I'm watching from afar. I'm being a real human. I'm being a normal human being with the Yankees this year, and it's been fun to watch. They've been a fun team to watch. They've been scrappy. Your boy, Clint Frazier, is a little bitch.

He is a little bitch. And what he did in the outfield was atrocious. Dude, and then you've got to just face the media. For a guy who's supposed to be like got swagger and shit, you have to know how the media works. Anytime a professional athlete doesn't want to talk to media like the coaches like tortorella and hockey like the reason why you're the game the reason why you're a multi-millionaire and why we go to the games is because you have to talk to the media that's literally why you're it's not the it's not the like in x's and o's during the game that's the shit you want to do

you're getting paid because to do the shit you don't want to do which is the media like you might as well just go play baseball in a backyard at a schoolyard with no fans then. Just make zero dollars if you just want to play the game and not talk to media. I hate that shit. I don't get it either. It has felt good, Jared, not being in your crosshairs. I just don't... You're not in his crosshairs, but I do want to say he talks shit every time

you walk by. And sometimes it's not stuff that you're like, yeah, it's true. Sometimes he's like, ah, fucking bum. He's so fucking worthless. He's always thinking about me. I can't tell you the last time I thought about Jared. We've been on the road. We're not thinking about Jared. He pretends to be a Yan He's so fucking worthless. He's always thinking about me. I can't tell you the last time I thought about Jared. Damn. We have. We've been on the road. We're not thinking about Jared.

I mean, because he pretends to be a Yankee fan. That's why he doesn't think about me. I don't pretend to be a Yankee fan. Let's go. I don't pretend to be a Yankee fan. Don't take it, Frankie. Don't take the bait. Why would you think about me if you're only, like, a pretend Yankee fan?

I'm not a pretend Yankee fan. In what world am I a pretend Yankee fan? I'm not a pretend Yankee fan. I'm not. I'm not. Frankie, spit the bait out. On what basis am I a pretend Yankee fan? You just told me you haven't been watching. Yeah, the ones where

you don't watch the games. I do watch the games. I just don't tweet about them. I talked about this last year. Jared bases a game watched off of... That's my fault. Jared bases a game watched off of how many tweets you send off that game. He did this to me last year.

I would just tweet out nice hit because Jared would be like, you're not watching this game. He did this to me last year. I would just tweet out, like, nice hit because Jared Beck, you're not watching this game. I'm just not tweeting about it. I'm fucking out of here. The Rocket literally has been sitting feet up on the counter, arms crossed. He has not moved. He has not flinched.

Frank, you're so red right now. He's so fucking mad. My guy was killing it was so red right now. He's so fucking mad. My guy was killing it. And then the bait. That was the last thing. He took my bait. He took my... That was...

That's what the rocket does, but that is Yankee fans in a nutshell. You can just be like, so bad. You just saw my Twitter mentions acting out live. You Heisenberg'd him just right in front of his fucking face.

As someone who gets triggered by people all the time, it was crazy to watch. I just watched it happen. It was an efficient thing. Especially when you're saying, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. You're doing it.

That was like when I have these bass with this little popper on the surface, and I see him chasing it, and I'm like, I know you, little motherfucker. Come here. Two more twitches. Boom. Just sucked it in. It was gone. It's too bad.

Now Rocket's holding him up for a selfie. Yeah. I'm going to be tweeting that video. Boss and I go fuck themselves last night. He's gone. Suckers. It's too bad. Now Rocket's holding him up for a selfie. Yeah. I'm going to be tweeting that video. For damn. Boss, they're going to go fuck themselves last night. I mean, like, let's fucking, let's just. Well, hold on. Before you do, Kevin, you know that that was a missed call.

Yeah, of course. Okay. Okay. I just want to make sure that I wanted you to admit that. You know that that. Right. I don't care who you root for, who you like. That was a missed call.

But you still only scored one goal. Which would mean it was one to one. Yeah, but you know. You should play missed call. But you still only scored one goal. Which would mean it was 1-1! Yeah, but you know you're not... You should play in overtime! You know that you can't play that game. You can't... No, you can't play that game. The game changes.

The way you play changes. There were three... There were two beheadings that happened. My problem with all of this is that it all... It clearly stems from one thing. Them complaining? It stems from Berubi's complaining after game three. Right.

Once that happened, the entire thing changed. Yeah, but... The entire thing... Like you're getting outcoached. That's not getting outcoached. It is. That's not coaching.

That's fucking bitching and moaning and whining. I would make the argument that is the most important part of coaching. And that motherfucker said last night after the game, he was like,

I'm not here to judge referees' calls. Bitch, after game three, you were like, I don't agree with the calls we at least penalized the team there were two beheadings there were two beheadings in that game I mean like Marcus Johansson almost lost his head on a power play

should have been a five on three then it was who caught the other one the pasta? no no Krug it was Krug Krug in the other corner later in the game two things those are like suspendable plays. And then, in the crucial point of the game, it's as clear as you can – I'm not going to – it's not a slew foot.

It wasn't a slew foot. It's as clear a trip as you can possibly – Can we get a baby crying sound effect in the background, please? No, but he's right, though. He's not crying when you're right. That is right. I mean, it happens. Calls get missed.

But that was so – What are you talking about? You and I said after the Saints game, if that happened to my team, it happens. Calls get missed. But that was so... What are you talking about? You and I said after the Saints game, if that happened to my team, I would never stop talking about it. It just happened to my team. No, no, no. That was not like you lost the game because of that.

You went up 3-2? No. I mean, 2-2. No, it went up 2-0. No, no, no. I'm saying in the series. No, I'm saying in the series. That caused them to go up a game in the series.

The Blues were probably going to win that game. Why? It was 1-0. I think that the way that the... It was not like that goal ended the game, is what I'm saying. That goal completely changed the shift, yes. Sure. And now the Blues have to close out. When you go up 2-0 and you only put one in the whole fucking game,

like basically a garbage time goal, you didn't play good enough to win that game. It was a garbage time goal. It was like three minutes left in fucking game, like, basically a garbage time goal, you didn't play good enough to win that game. How is it a garbage time goal? It's like four minutes, three minutes left in the game. It's not a garbage time goal. It wasn't, it wasn't even played yet. You scored with three minutes to go in the game. Like, you didn't play that good of a game.

Five minutes, actually. I forget, but it wasn't. It was a tough time. Yeah, it was a funny time. I just don't think that, like, that was the game, the pivot. I know it's a pivotal moment. It was. It's not.

It was. It wasn't. It was. Because you were losing that game. It was a pivotal moment. It was. It's not. It was. It wasn't because you were losing that game. It was a pivotal moment. Like the Blues were outplaying you in that game. It was a pivotal moment. Well, they were winning. They were winning the game.

They weren't outplaying us. Well, however you want to call it, like you weren't doing enough to win that game. It was a 1-0 game. The Bruins were playing well. I mean, I think they doubled the Blues shots. Bruins were playing well. 1-0 game. 10 minutes left in the third, I think.

8 minutes left in the third, whatever it was. That's a humongously, humongous call. Up until that point, you haven't even scored. It's not like it was a... But what does that mean? Yeah, there aren't a lot of goals scored in hockey. You can score one goal in 10 minutes. Right, but I'm saying if it was a lot of scoring,

if it was a back-and-forth affair, if it was that goal at the buzzer, basically, it's different than— So only a buzzer beater matters? Only a buzzer beater can be a pivotal call? No, you can have a pivotal call, but I think to place the entire blame on that call, it's not like the Saints. It's not comparable. No, the Saints is worse. I will give you that. But, I mean, it's as close as it gets.

It's as close as it gets. Third period of a pivotal game. The only thing that would make that worse is if that was the clinching game. But, I mean, it's as close as it gets. It's as close as it gets. Yeah, I mean, again, I'm not sitting here to argue. The only thing that would make that worse is if that was the clinching game. It directly led to a goal. No, I think if it was like 1-1 and you go up 2-1 and that's like the game-winning goal, it's different. But it would have been 1-1. If you already had the lead and you just extended your lead, it's different to me. I don't think so.

Because I think you're already playing. It's a 1-0. They're already beating you. If it was 3-0 and they made it 4-0, that's to me. I don't think so. Because I think you're already playing. It's a one-nothing. They're already beating you. If it was three to nothing and they made it four-nothing, that's one thing. It's one-nothing. The one-nothing hockey game. Right, but that's what I mean.

It's like you're getting shut out. They're beating you, and then they extended it with a bad call. They were winning the hockey. Yeah, I don't understand what you're saying, though. I just wouldn't be. I wouldn't. If there was a minute left. There's more like critique in that game than just that bad kevin if there was like a minute left yeah there is more critique it's all referee

based but if there was a minute left in the game i would i would agree with you if you if it was a minute left in the game it'd still be an egregiously bad missed call but if it was a minute left and they went up 2-0 then fine the fact that it happened when it happened and there was all the time in the world for the Bruins to score a goal that's what makes it so bad it wasn't like that it was a last second goal for them that then just gave them a padded lead it would have been 1-0 if that call didn't happen yeah and I also just think that like the the playing the like you never know how the game unfolds after that no you don't because like the blues go into like a different mode when you're up 2-0. And, like, that goal, maybe they don't even score that goal because of the way the Blues continue to play, like, aggressively.

Maybe they do. Maybe they score two goals. I mean, but, like, that goal, that call resulted in that goal. That non-call resulted in that goal. No, I get that. And, again, I'm not even debating that it was, like, not a bad call or whatever. I'm just saying that, like, it wasn't to me, like, the Bruins were, like, not even debating that it was not a bad call or whatever. I'm just saying that it wasn't to me like the Bruins were about to win that game and that was the call that totally shifted it back or something like that.

No, it was just an awful call that led to a goal in the third period of a Stanley Cup final game. No doubt. But again, it was a goal that extended their already existing lead. I think that's a very big difference. But then the Bruins scored again. But you can't play that game because the Bruins might not have. They might not have. But in that moment, the Blues extended their lead.

They were already beating you, and they extended it. The Blues were winning 1-0. Yes, and they made it 2-0. That's a fact. And also, that's a humongous. I don't really get what you're trying to say. Going up 7-0 in a football game is completely different than being down two touchdowns. It's the same shit.

Like, going up 14-0 in a football game on a bad call changes a lot of things, right? Yeah. So it's the same shit. Right, but I'm saying, like, if you were, yeah, in a football game, if you're getting shut out in the fourth quarter, there's a lot more to talk about than just one call. But 7-0 and 14-0 is what we're basically talking about. It's one touchdown. There's more to talk about, but the Bruins played one of their better games. Bennington stood on his head. We could talk about that.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Bennington played well. That's the only other thing you can talk about aside from the referees. Bennington played well in the first period when the Bruins came out fucking absolutely buzzing. Bennington stood on his head, made that a game that was right for the Blues to win.

I knew in between that period, I was like, fuck, if the Blues come out and score a row, that's going to be a heartbreaker. It was. That's what happened., that's going to be a heartbreaker. It was. That's what happened. But it wasn't as big a heartbreaker as a complete missed trip on Noah Chara that led to a goal. I mean, it sucked the life out of the building. Absolutely sucked.

The building was dead until DeBrus scored with four minutes left, whatever it was. After the goal, you mean? It's a total shift. After the blown call. Yeah. It was dead until he scored. It was a total change. It's's padding the lead but it makes it completely out of reach more so

I mean if it was 1-0 and then they scored with all that time it does make a huge difference I'm not saying it doesn't make a difference I'm just saying that it wasn't like a walk off in a sense no but I think you can whine about things that aren't walk offs yeah you can definitely whine about it, no doubt.

Trust me, I'd be whining about it too. I'm just – the way the – I mean, you would – it felt like a walk-off whine is what I'm saying. Like, I haven't heard one other person – I haven't heard anybody say anything other than – like, usually when there's a bad call, it's like – like, even with the Saints, it was like, yeah, but whatever happened, like, right previously in that – it was like the Saints could have done more, like, right before that call. Whatever the circumstance, I don't remember it. I hate that shit.

People always say, like, well, like, oh, like, when the hand pass happened to the Blues, they're like, oh, well, you shouldn't leave Carlson open on the back door. Someone said last night, like, well, I mean, you still had four guys on the ice. Achari had a concussion. He went into concussion protocol right after that. That's how bad a trip it was. They're like, oh, you still had four guys on the ice. You didn't have to let him score. Those are the stupidest fucking arguments ever. In the moment, I protocol right after that. That's how bad a trip it was. They're like, oh, you still have four guys on the ice. You didn't have to let him score.

Those are the stupidest fucking arguments ever. In the moment, I'm not saying that. That call led to that fucking goal. Right. But the other elements of the game where it's like, I mean, I'm not. They could have scored more goals. Sure. But they didn't.

And then that call was a deciding call. That was a humongous call. Humongous. Not deciding. I mean, it was a 2-1 game. It's as deciding as it gets. It's as deciding as it gets. It's as decided as it gets. It doesn't happen.

It was 1-1. It goes in overtime. Let's take some calls here. Dan from Connecticut. First up, what do you got on the missed call? Not only is it down like 2-0 without that call, if that call goes the other way and Bozak is skating to the – like he's skating to the box. He's turning around to bitch about the call.

Bozak knew it. Bozak threw his hands up like, what was I going to do? Bozak threw his hands up to complain about it. He was ready to go to the box. He's turning around to bitch about the call. Bozak knew it. Bozak threw his hands up like, what was I going to do? Bozak threw his hands up to complain about it. He was ready to go to the box. And I mean, because he knew it was a penalty. Being down 1-0 with the way the Bruins power play has been in this series, instead of being down 2-0, that's a big fucking swing. That's huge.

And the power play has been a little cold since the explosion game three. I don't think they've scored since then. But I mean, they actually had a couple of good touches in this game where I mean, a third period power play. Eight minutes left in the game, whatever it is. That's humongous. It's either two nothing or you're on power play. That's. Yeah.

I mean, the swing, like forgetting about just getting rid of the goal, the swing of the momentum going towards Boston. And just think about the crowd, like the crowd going into a five on four game, five on four power play, going crazy or just sitting down being like, what the fuck we just got. I mean, it was so definitely quiet on TV. I can't even imagine.

It was like being at a funeral. It was like, what the fuck just happened? How did that happen to us? Taylor from Boston. What's going on? Tell us. Hey,

I just want to blow this back up real quick. You're talking about Boston fans complaining about a call not going their way. How many calls didn't go St. Louis' way the entire fucking series? And Boston complained about one game that it doesn't go their way. I love Boston sports. I live in Boston, but I'm a Blues fan. I'm a Rams fan. I'm from St. Louis.

And I would have to say that. Real St. Louis fans abandon the Rams. Yes, sir. Yes, fucking sir. So I would just have to say, Fife, I love you, but the bitching about this can only say one thing. It's not bitching. It's what fucking happened.

You've only had it good this whole time and you don't know what it is to have a bad call go your way. Yes, I do. What other call has gone? What are you talking about? It's not bitching. It's fucking explaining

what happened in a hockey game. There was a non-call that led directly to a goal. That's just what happened. That's just what happened. Wait, we talked about the games from last night. You can't talk about that game without talking about that. are you complaining about the call or not are you complaining about the call or not

I am absolutely saying that was a blown call you have no reason how many fucking championships I want the next one I want the next one but that doesn't mean it's not a bad call just because I won the fucking Superbowl just because I won the fucking World Series doesn't mean I's not a bad call. Just because I won the fucking Super Bowl, just because I won the fucking World Series,

doesn't mean I don't want the Stanley Cup. James from Toronto. James. How's it going, boys? Well, I mean, you tell me, man. How do you think it's going? That was a complete missed call, Kevin. You're completely wrong.

I mean, Kevin said he agrees it's a missed call, but it's... I just don't think it was the only deciding factor of the game. It's not. Nothing's ever the only factor, but it's the number one. But that's the reaction. The reaction that is garnering is like a Saints situation. It was the biggest play of the game. Of course.

Let's say the call's made. All of a sudden it's 1-0. Boston power play. I mean, obviously. Boston, they were dominating. They had every chance to have that game up. And you play so different when you're down 2-0. Yeah, man.

Bad calls happen. Dude, bad calls happen. That's kind of the point here. But I'd be like, that's just... Yeah, bad calls happen. That's kind of the point here. It's like... But I'd be like, that's just... Yeah, bad calls happen. But you talk about them. Sure. The fact that that guy tried to say that

Boston fans can't talk about bad calls is just the dumbest thing. Do we win championships? You can't fucking bitch? I'm gonna fucking bitch when there's a blown call. And also,

everybody with eyes that watched that game knew it was a blown call. It's not like only Boston fans are like, oh, it was a bad call. I'm not expecting that Boston fans are like, oh, it was a bad call. I'm not expecting that right now, like, you know, 12 hours after the fact, but the point

does stand that like, you know, as time goes on, there will be a day where you can just rationally say like, yeah, but we've also, on the whole, benefited from calls a lot as well. I mean, yeah, but that's just like, everyone benefits from calls. Everyone has bad calls after the game you bitch about.

Well, that's kind of, yeah, that's kind of the point though is like, and I'm not telling you you can't bitch about it, but this is how it goes. Like, you know, the Blues get fucked on a hand pass and they still win the series. Like, yeah, hand pass and they still do what they got to do. That could happen, right? Maybe the Bruins go game six, win game six, win game seven.

They did it in the first round against Toronto. They weren't scared to go on the road, win, win six, come back for seven. So I'm not writing them off. In fact, I'm a little, I have a little more, a little more vigor to me right now, but I mean, it's possible. And if they win, if they win that, guess what I'm going to do at the Stanley Cup parade? I'm going to bitch about this fucking call.

No, you're not. Yes, I am. You're not. In a moment, you're upset. I can't believe we had to win it in seven, it should have been six. No, you're not. No, you're not. I will. No, you're not. I mean I am. You're not. In the moment, you're upset. I can't believe we had to win it in seven. No, you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not. I will.

No, you're not. I mean, now he will just to spite me. I said this to YP when the hand pass happened. I'd rather lose like that than just lose. Because I do think you come out firing now. Oh, absolutely. And you had something to explain about. I mean, Bruce Cassidy, his post-game press conference was fucking furious.

Electric. The team throwing fucking bottles and shit. Like, you know, that's better than the previous one. It galvanizes the team. It's like, look, it's us against the refs. It's us against the Blues. It's two against one. Let's fucking go.

And Boston fans fighting each other in the stands was just a whole other level. I mean, those guys. That fucking brawl. I never understand that when it's like, oh, you're both Bruins fans. Like, you go to a bar, you you're both Bruins fans. You go to a bar, you're usually fighting Bruins fans too. I mean, you're in Boston. Your whole life is around

like-minded people. It's just the visual is usually funny because they're both in Bruins jerseys. Right, the visual is silly. Forget about the visual. The fucking audio with Stone Cold Steve Austin's music playing in the background is unbelievable internet occurring like the arena just happens to be playing oh was that one you hear the glass shatter and the music is playing

as they're just fucking throwing hands on each other it was like as a blogger like internet person is like this this is perfection Jake uh Jack from Oklahoma hey Hey, man. What's up? How you doing? I'm all right. I'm not. Great to hear. Hey, that fucking call last night was the biggest load of fucking bullshit I have ever seen. I understand the Blues yesterday, or not yesterday, last series got completely fucked, and there's been some terrible officiating, but that was the most blatant fucking call I have ever seen. The fact that the ref was staring at it and fucking Bozo, Bozak,

whatever the fuck, turns around, looks, and gets ready to plead his fucking case like a fucking jabroni, I don't know how you can miss a call like that. And then Garoub, after the fucking game, come down and say, hey, I'm not here to fucking judge calls. After game three, he's sitting there bitching about calls all the time. I mean, it's a fucking joke and it looks bad for the NHL. This playoffs as a whole have been an absolute embarrassment for NHL officiating. Absolute fucking embarrassment.

So that's what I mean. So like I know in the moment right now you're on the short end of it. So you're pissed off, obviously. And that's what i mean so like i know in the moment right now you're on the short end of it so you're pissed off obviously and that's how it goes but when that's just kind of like how it's been it's like you understand on the whole that it's like it's probably all coming out in the wash but i disagree i mean like i i don't think i haven't been watching there was bad officiating in the first round when Pavelski went down. I don't think that should make you be like, well, it might happen to us in a couple times. Well, like, I mean, I'm not watching the series the way you are. But, like, this guy just tweeted me, game one, they missed a call.

Too many men on the ice. It led directly to a goal. So, like. I mean, I think a too many men is very different than a trip. Well, like a blown call that led directly to a goal happened in this series for you. I'll have to see that goal. But, I mean, I think it's a very. Well, it a blown call that led directly to a goal happened in this series for you. I'll have to see that goal, but I mean, I think it's a very... Well, it's too many men on the ice. A guy, he's got

one foot still on the ice. I don't know the goal in question. I'd have to see it before I comment on it. Which I obviously don't either. A guy was tripped in the defensive zone. A puck was taken from him. Got into the slot. Goal. Yeah, I mean, maybe if he just fucking got up. It couldn't be clearer. Maybe he was a little bit tougher, bro.

Maybe if you just fucking didn't lay on the floor for like 45 minutes. He got right away. What are you talking about? Zach from Pennsylvania. What do you got? Yeah, absolutely horrendous call. I say we open an investigation. Fucking YP telling people that refs look at his Twitter after games to see their reaction.

I definitely think that ref definitely looked at YP's Twitter and saw that YP loved it and everything like that, and YP's probably going to suck him off later. I mean, that's got to be the worst call ever. Alex from Toronto. My thing with it is that there is – How's it going, guys? Sorry, hang on.

We'll go after. Alex, what do you got? I'm a Leafs fan. I hate the Bruins, but that was a terrible missed call. And I'm going to just give you one little note. If they can go back and look at missed offsides three, four minutes later until the play stops to call back a goal, why can't they do something that's even a bigger swing,

a goal leading to an actual penalty? Why can't they do something that's even a bigger swing a goal leading to an actual penalty why can't they check that out yeah why are the linesmen you know what i mean why are the linesmen not uh being held accountable and they can go back and check that but the actual referees themselves going back and checking offsides is like the worst thing in all sports i can't believe there are times there was a time in game one, I'm sorry, game two, when we were sitting right down by the ice, we were sitting right on the blue line,

and the Bruins had got in zone possession for like a minute and a half, and I was with Riggs, and I just kept going, I hope they don't fucking score, I hope they don't fucking score, because I think it was offside to get into the zone.

And that's almost worse, like you'd rather just not even score at all. I was like, just don't score. Don't even have the chance. You put it on the board, sucks the life out of it, and take it away. Once you have an in-zone possession for that long, it's like, what are we doing? Are you fucking kidding me? But I think

if I'm going to play Mr. Brightside for a second, I think the good thing about this awful officiating and don't fucking tell me this has been the first time the Bruins have been the victim of a bad call. It happened non-stop in Columbus. They scored a goal off the goddamn fucking net in Columbus. But I think that this is going to finally lead to – the NHL is going to have to make a change.

They're going to have – I think there's talk of maybe putting a referee up on the ninth floor who can basically just overrule immediately. Like, no, no, no, no, no. That was a penalty. I mean, I don't know why all sports should have that. There has to be something. That was a penalty. I mean, I don't know why all sports should have that. My biggest thing too, all sports should have like a last line of defense, egregious mistake fixer. It's like they don't meddle in every call. And you get into a weird like whose discretion is it, but there should just be some sort of safety net.

The commissioner can invoke some fucking clause, whatever you want to call it, where when it's blatant like that, it's like no no no let's have some common sense or give or give like the head coaches like the next level up from like a penalty like a flag in football like say okay if you think that this is so fucking you get one a game and if you fuck it up and you do it too early in the game and it happens again then that's on you but at least have something where it's like all right this is a trump card for everybody can we all just stop for a fucking second and review this? Because, like, last night,

they would absolutely have to overturn that if that happened. They'd have to. And I also think that one thing they should do is, the rest have to answer for them. The rest have to do press conferences. Yeah, we've talked about that before. I feel like that comes down to, like, are they high? You know, that's got to be.

It's not like NFL referees who are highly paid as well. Like, this is a full-time job for NFL referees. Yeah highly paid as well. Like this is a full time job. Yeah. This is your job. Yeah. You're on a major stage. You have to answer for what you're doing. I almost wonder. We kind of debated this before.

And it's like that. I feel like you can go one of two ways where it's almost like maybe that makes it worse that if you're now on the ice being like, I'm going to have to, you know, if I fuck this up, I'm going to have a press conference afterwards. Well, like fucking be an adult. Like everyone has to, like the players have to do that. But I wonder if like they do this for a reason, because like maybe it's easier to stay impartial if you don't think that there's going to be. I mean, they're getting asked questions by media of both teams.

Yeah. But they might make calls based on the fact they know they have to answer to them so they're like i'm gonna swallow the whistle here because all i got you know i i think it would work i think it would help i don't but i wonder if they've actually thought about this and been like actually we think that you know exposing them would lead to more issues because i think now you know you get like you know perky jerky like i think i think like the best of the best would probably be like, I am confident enough.

My ability is to officiate that I will answer to the city, the world, the fans, the media, but like maybe some of the, you know, middling guys are like, I don't know.

I'm trying my best out here, but I don't want to be, I don't, you know, if you get like, go out there and be like, I fucking missed it. Yeah,

that's fine. But like, I mean, but you know, and maybe someone like yourself would be like, all right, man. But then you have assholes who are going to send death threats to your fucking wife at home or something like that. And it's like, that just doesn't happen now because people pretty much remain anonymous. Right.

But I think when you're on the ice, you should have to deal with what the players deal with. Yeah. And if a player fucks up, a player's not going to do that. But that's what I'm saying. Players make millions and refs don't. So they make, they make enough to fucking talk to six dudes

after the game. That's what press conferences are. Press conferences are funny. But I mean, but seriously, if I was a hockey ref and it was like, uh,

like it is being, you know, when you're a professional athlete and you're like, you're in all your glory and making all your money, you take like the very bad that comes with the good. Like, I don't know if I would do that as a ref.

I don't think it's worth it for me to ever like potentially be go down in like sports history as like. All right. But it's also rare, though. Shortage of refs. OK, yeah. It's also not like, you know, replacement refs have been issues. You know, it does seem like there's like cream of the crop. You have a week.

Yeah. I mean, like, I don't think you're running out of hockey refs. I think there are enough people who'd be like, that's the pay. OK, but you might run out of good ones. I think good. I mean, it's I mean, I think you have to answer, too. But I think they should have to answer, too. But I think that there there would be problems with it.

If the refs would run for the hills because they have six dudes in sweatshirts asking them questions, then I think that they deserve it. I fucking hate refs more than that. No, but I think it's more like, maybe not the literal media, but the fans and the craziness that can come along with a missed call. I mean, it's hockey. It's not the NFL. It's not on ESPN.

You're in the fucking bowels of TD Garden answering a few questions. Yeah, they're not running a national press conference ever. Although last night they probably would have, though. Or even if he doesn't have to do every game. It's like when you fuck up at work, you have to answer to people. The NHL's fucking stance was like, we don't comment on – I forget what their exact comment was, but it was worse than saying no comment. It was stupid like, oh, their judgment calls.

It was a fucking clearly blown call. I just feel like they had to miss it. And didn't they take it out of the highlights that they took today they did the same thing with the hand pass too but it was fucking they just showed the goal they clipped it out they showed atari on the ice it was like milliseconds after the trip it's like there's a fucking edit job oh and then there's no goddamn fucking stupid that's obviously gonna get more attention i had like two it was getting ratioed to fucking hell i was like had like three retweets

600 replies in five minutes like they would by doing that you're just drawing more attention you goddamn fucking moron let's go to someone from st louis let's hear the other side of things tucker and the loo what do you got where to go what going on? I think everybody at this point knows it was a missed call, so I'm going to switch from the hockey talk and go with a KFC radio hypothetical. No, we're not doing that right now, though. There's a million people who want to talk about the missed call, bro. It's the talk of the day. Iowa, Paul, what do you got?

Hey, guys, first time, long time. Big fans. So, would you rather have it where the refs don't swallow the whistle during the playoffs, or would you rather have it where they call it everything like the regular season,

and it's just a tighter, so it won't be as fast-paced or wide open, I guess. I mean, I know it's a miscall, so it won't be as fast-paced or wide open, I guess. I mean, I know it's a miscall, but. It's like baseball. It's whatever it is, just keep it consistent. That's my main problem is the inconsistency that came clearly after the whining of Craig Green. And that's not just baseball and hockey.

That's across the board. Just be consistent. You either swallow the whistle or you call everything. You can't pick and choose. Let the fucking boys play. I'm fine with that. Oh, even this. This. Let the fucking boys play. I'm fine with that. Oh, even this. This isn't letting the boys play.

This is just a trip. This isn't letting the boys play. There are some, yeah, there are some hits that I would allow. And also, I think the two hits to the head also. I think those aren't, that's not letting the boys play. Those are hits that the NHL has made a concerted effort to get out of the game. They are, I mean, the Marcus Johansson one was exactly like the Cook hit on fucking Savvy. It was, I mean, you watch a side-by-side,

it's the same goddamn fucking hit. That one ended the guy's career. And the inconsistency, right. I mean, it's just, you have to pick one. You can't go back and forth. I would say you see that a lot. I mean, there's a lot of missed calls, but I mean, not all of them lead to a goal like that.

And the ref obviously doesn't know that it's going to lead to a goal, but. And the ref obviously doesn't know that it's going to lead to a goal. But I would love, I really would love to hear like his explanation. Like, could you, could you, could you,

I want to, I want to see it to see if it could be spun. Like, I would love to like, show me something, but his eyes, you know, like,

or he was just like, what are you talking about? I didn't see, I didn't see a trip. Like, I just felt like, whatever. His eyes were burning. He was just like, what are you talking about? I didn't see a trip. I just fell. Pull a Dave Portnoy. That just didn't happen. I think people are so scared to do it. But if people are going to do the ref thing, if they were to have to answer for their sins.

I just said sorry. I think people are cowards and they're scared to do that. But that's all you have to do. Remember when Jim Joyce was crying on the field? He was like, I fucked up. I fucking ruined that kid's night. Oh, no, Angel Hernandez was the pitcher, right? Alejandro Galarraga.

Yeah. Yeah. And Jim Joyce blew his perfect game. And he was literally tears on the field. And afterwards, he was like, I ruined that kid's perfect game. Right. And everyone's like. And it became like, remember, they were like friends after that.

I wouldn't have fucked that. I wouldn't have. No, no, no. You have to. Like, 100-Gallon Rocker fucking hates him. But he was like, well, fuck. Now I have to take pictures with this guy and shit. Because then I'm the asshole if I don't forgive him.

So you almost have to, like socially speaking. But yeah, the world. I think the public understands. It's not an easy job. I get that. What else can you do? But he can't. I mean, the still shot.

I mean, he's like crouching. Looking right at it. Right at it. You can't even say I missed it. You were staring. Yeah. Like, I don't know shot. I mean he's like crouch down. Looking right at it. Looking right at it. You can't even say I missed it. You were staring at it. Yeah. Like I don't know. Your brain just like misfired or something.

Did you forget to blow the whistle? Yeah. It just – like your brain – your body didn't listen to your brain or something. There's a rule. Like if you forgot to blow the whistle, there's a rule. Like I guess he can start moving his hand. But there's like – like he had intent to blow the whistle. And like something happened before that.

Like well, no. He had intent. The whistle didn't get to his mouth yet. But the intent was there. I don't think he did that to blow the whistle and something happens before that. Like, well, no, he had intent. It's the whistle didn't get to his mouth yet, but the intent was there. I don't think he did that. I mean, we definitely didn't do that, but it's let's hit our first break.

The calls are lit up so you can get your time in here. We're doing a little therapy session. You want to call and complain about this call. Let's get it in. It's Friday.