KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: Sex, Lies, and Internet Tapes

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

Nick Cannon claims there is a video of Eminem having sex with a man and manages to lose a rap battle without anyone even making a response. Pete Frates, creator of the legandary Ice Bucket challenge videos, cure ALS advocate, and close personal friend of many Barstool employees, finally succumbed to the disease and passed away, we pay tribute to him. Another video made the rounds this week, it was discussed.   You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We're back you hear this uh nick cannon song oh he's got a new song a new eminem disc oh wow so uh so i guess eminem was on a fat joe song not too long ago and rekindled the nick cannon mariah shit and was talking all about like your baby mama, this and baby mama, that,

and like you're whipped. And then, uh, Nick Cannon comes out today with a song or yesterday, maybe with a couple of his guys from while and now it's called the invitation. Um, I think it's just on YouTube.

I don't think it's on any of the real platforms. Suge nights on the track. Oh, let's go. Uncle Suge. He calls from prison and he's like, basically, Eminem's like a white boy bitch. If he had any balls, he'd just get in the ring with Nick Cannon. This idea of like, you should box.

But Nick Cannon says, you know, some of the usual, like you're a white boy trying to be black. And then he says he's addicted to crack and pills, and that he's relapsed, so he's saying he's, like, back on drugs, and then says that a bodyguard has video of him blowing some dude in a car. What? That he paid off to, like, get... Is that real? And, I mean... No, it can't be real.

It can't be real, but it's one of those things that's, like, that's a weird thing to say if it's not true. You know what I mean? Like, like for, I mean, and it could just be complete like bullshit. And then that makes the Nick Cannon idea for like a battle track, like so stupid. If you're just going to make, if you're just going to go on like stupid rumors. But if that's true, you like paid the guy, he says, like you paid the guy off and then you laid the guy off or something like that. Like he fired the, the security guard or whatever.

I don't know. But it's Nick Cannon, which is funny because, you know, sometimes he's, like, a rapper, and then other times he's, like, this wilding out, like, goofy guy. And he's, like, he says something like, you sucking cock in a truck. I'm like, whoa, okay. We're not doing, like, goofy Nick Cannon. Who wears, like, the hats. The turbans.

Yeah, yeah. Are those turbans? That's what I call it. It's probably ignorant of me. I don't think it is. I think it's something else. Wait, what kind of? Ignorant of me?

He wears like, it's almost like the, it almost looks like something a fortune teller wears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a wrap and like a jewel in the middle. I mean, that's, I would call it a turban, but I know it's probably not. I feel like it's something different, but whatever. Oh, it's kind of like the Sikhs. It's kind of like what the Sikhs wear. The cloth one?

I know the people that wear it. I don't know what the name of it is. I would describe that as a turban. I guess a white nigger. But yeah, so I hope that Eminem comes back. I always like listening to Eminem. I know the internet is not kind to him, and I feel like he hasn't aged. His music hasn't aged well.

But especially if there's a video that it is your king and it's him in the way that I couldn't watch his his freestyle. Yeah, cringe. It was very uncomfortable. But when it's like him, like doing the walking around and then he's like finally talks and you

know what he says? Now what? That's an awfully hot coffee pot. I mean, the, the, the Chris D'Elia impression is when Chris D'Elia went viral for the way he napkins, bunch of napkins and a papkins.

And then, but then the fact that Eminem then like is cool with Chris D'Elia, it kind of shows some self-awareness that I'm like, all right, you know, not every fucking line is great. And you can laugh at yourself. But then when it's time to, like, battle, you can't be, that's an awfully hot coffee pot.

That's an awfully hot coffee pot. The hand gestures were just perfect. If Mark Wahlberg was playing Eminem in a movie, he would say something like that. That was Eminem's real line. So, yeah, I mean, when he does things like that, I'm like, no, no, no. I something like that. That was Eminem's real line. When he does things like that, I'm like, no! I guess the rest of it is really good. I don't know. Old school Eminem was so good. The problem is

even if the rest of that was good, it doesn't matter. The internet heard that. They joke about why are you doing this? Where are you standing? There's too many funny things about it where they're not even going to bother listening because even when Eminem did it with Machine Gun Kelly, like you really do have to listen like three.

He's almost like too good at times where it's like if the Internet doesn't get it, they're just going to fucking roast you. And it doesn't matter how fucking cerebral you were about it. But remember that time he showed up on the ESPN booth and was just like high off his fucking ass and just looked I mean he was on it well I just watched the interview for the first time did you ever watch that the James Franco and Seth Rogen movie oh the movie yeah yeah and he's joking around in the very beginning like yeah I'm fucking gay I've been talking about the whole time like

wouldn't be funny if that just was the case just like guys I mean I did a fucking movie where I said I'm fucking gay so uh I guess be on the lookout for, I don't know if I'm going to respond or what, but Nick Cannon, the invitation has to, right? Yeah. I would imagine this is almost,

I mean, he, he threw the, he threw the first punch back. So I feel like he's doing it on purpose to, to get it going again. Oh no. What happened?

I got a text and I don't want to, I don't want to, a text. And I don't want to. I don't want to. What's happening? I don't know if. I don't know if I should say anything because I don't want to be that guy again. Last text. Oh, boy. I don't.

Can I see it? Yeah. This is terrible radio. This has happened. You know, this has happened before with the internet. So we'll look to see if that's true or not before we say anything. We got Dominican Dylan on the line talking a little college football. What do we got, Dylan?

Hey, what up, guys? Holy fuck, was I wrong about Georgia? I'm telling you, Dylan, you should have listened to me. I could not believe that anybody on the planet thought Georgia was going to beat LSU. I don't understand where you guys were getting your information there. It is true. It was a massacre.

It was a massacre. From the start, the game was over. You didn't even get to enjoy the game for a little bit. It was just like snap, that's it. A three and out, and then LSU scores, and then it's over. I could not have been more confident in that pick than I have ever been in my entire life

about football. I just do not understand what people are looking at. Well, it sounds like Dylan was the only person in the world who thought it. No. Dave, Brandon Walker, fights, John bet on Georgia, Hubs bet on Georgia. I bet on Georgia because I don't talk to Hubs. I like Hubs just fine, but we don't text and stuff and i just got a text from him saturday morning

he said by the way georgia yeah and i asked him why because he was on lsu all week like i i could not figure out like dave is one thing like dave will just like latch onto something and just ride with it i thought that's what he was doing i didn't know what brandon walker was talking about as somebody who knows as much college football as he does. But Hubs all week was on LSU. And then you told me that he sent you that. I was like, that's a fucking clown pic. I don't know what you're doing. Would you ever listen to Hubs about anything in your life?

You know what he said? But if someone tells you, you just gotta know something. He said, you're going to really feel stupid when you hear why he chose that. He said that Peter Gammons broke his brain with his tweets and that meant he should take Georgia. What? That is literally what he said to me this morning.

Not even a follow-up, John? I wish I had inquired as to why. I went, let's roll, Hubsie. And I was like, that's... And granted, for the 12 o'clock game, I had told John to take OU and the over, and neither one of them hit. So I think it was almost like you were saying

you were going to spite me and go against because I said LSU. I put the most money on any bet I've ever made. I put on LSU and I never once worried about it. And look, I'm usually wrong on these things. You could have said that on Friday at least. I told you. I told you.

She was pretty adamant. I was very adamant. She was pretty much like, you're a fucking idiot. I've been adamant about it. And then the guy tweeted at some point during that game, like, imagine anyone actually thinking that. And there were a few people like, oh, it's easy to say when they're down by 70. I was like, bro, I've been saying it all week.

LSU is so fucking good, and there was no way they were losing that game, and there's no way they're not going to end up in New Orleans, Joe Burrow, the whole thing. It's just, yes. You think they kill Oklahoma? Yes, yes. Oklahoma stinks.

I was on Jalen Hurts all year, but in comparison to what they're going to do. I was going to say, for you to say that means they're fucking bad. The number 14. Not even like a month to prepare. No, because I don't think that that defense is one of the best defenses in the Big 12.

They cannot stop. Joe Burrow. Georgia had one of the best defenses in the country, and he made them look like assholes. There's no way. It was over from the start. I think that Jalen Hurts in that offense, if he doesn't turn the ball over,

can score against LSU, but they're not stopping LSU's offense. I don't think anybody, I mean, I want to see LSU and Ohio State so bad, but Clemson's such a dark horse, but LSU, Ohio State, in New Orleans, Joe Burrow's former team, right outside of Baton Rouge.

I mean, it's just, it's not going to happen because of how awesome it is. I just think Clemson's defense is too strong for Ohio State. Like, Justin Fields doesn't, I don't like the way he throws the rock too much in the pockets. I don't think that they get to him. I don't know. Clemson looks too strong on defense. Clemson being the number three team in the playoff and probably... It's abuse.

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's Trevor Lawrence is the best football player in the country. I understand Joe Burrow's going to win the Heisman, but when you talk about NFL draft, it is Trevor Lawrence. That defense is sick. That game is super interesting. OU has no business being on the field with LSU. They just don't. Do you think anyone other than Oklahoma could even give LSU a chance?

Or is it just basically the last ones in there, so just throw them in there? Oh, you mean at that number four spot? Yeah. I don't see any other team. No, I mean, O you deserves to be the number four spot don't get me wrong like i think that they deserve to be in the college football playoff but is there a team that could put up a better fight with lsu that maybe yeah i think so i think so florida um we have they've obviously played already but i think florida would be better like maybe even wisconsin i don't know i mean oklahoma deserves to be there i was i rode oklahoma all year but i still it's just such a different league

i mean it really is i understand the big 12 people are going to come out flying out of their huts and telling me i'm wrong the sec versus a big 12 especially right now it's just not the same caliber especially at the top i mean yeah in the middle of the big 12 nancy fine whatever i don't care i'm talking about the top teams. If you think LSU and OU are even remotely close, you're just not watching college football. You're just a bias. And this is somebody who I love Jalen hurts.

And even though my take has been decently wrong all year on him, I'm going to keep saying it. It's going to die on the, on the 28th of December. Don't be stupid, Dylan. Don't. Yeah,

no, I can't anymore. I'm going to give you advice. As you said, don't be stupid. Listen to the no I can't anymore Kev also I'm gonna give you advice you said don't be stupid listen the past I know they're like looking bad and all that don't fall into it

they'll be in Miami they'll end up winning I can never fall into it the way I used to fall into it but like I said if they win it's already rock bottom it already sucks

it's a continued dynasty Dave's still doing his whole thing and if they lose at least I get to uh you know be the guy leading the charge yeah that is true I just think what like I know the offense looks bad and people are saying now the defense isn't that but that defense it's like they'll make they make plays like they do like yesterday they did yeah I mean they made a play that should have turned it all around yep Yep. They make plays every single game. So in the playoffs, if your defense just makes

one play, like, I don't think they'll need the offense. Well, I mean, if you're playing some of the best of the best and you've got to put up points on the board, you need the fucking offense, dude. You can't not have offense. But I feel what you're saying. If they score like 20, like, and then, you know how it is with them

on the field. They'll make those plays when they need to and then forget about it. I know, but I also am at the point where I'm bored not, like, trying to rile it up, so I'm just going to fucking do it. And if I'm right, good for me. And if I'm wrong, I'm in the same fucking boat anyway. That is true. All right, guys. Thanks for the call, bro.

833-85-STOOL is the phone number. We did, unfortunately, just confirm the news that Pete Fradies has passed away. So he's a friend of Barstool and, you know, one of the most fucking inspirational guys basically ever. The Fradies family is, we've been lucky enough to get to know them pretty well through our years. And there's just like, there's no crew better. No. Absolutely no crew better. And the shit they did is, I mean, they literally changed the world. years and there's just like there's no crew better no absolutely no crew better and the

shit they did is i mean they literally changed the world yeah i was gonna say the mark that he left with uh the ice bucket challenge and then just just bringing like als i mean that's what it was it was awareness right and the money they raised is uh pretty cool and he's 34 34. Lucy's four years old. It's like literally my exact age situation. So sad. Don't know how you, I mean, I'm sure, you know, they've been preparing for a long time. He outlived basically by far, right?

I mean, all of the expectations are far, far less than 34 years. Got to have a family and enjoy some of it. So, you know, he would not want anybody hanging their head, but it does suck, especially when there was like there's been the hoaxes before and the misreporting like this one is officially confirmed. So, yeah, his family released a statement. So I'm guessing I'm going to listen to them. Yep. Which was that they always said they were like, you know you hear it from us it's not true and so this time uh they unfortunately had the the uh bad task of putting it out there but pete it was uh i mean i he came to uh would he come to

kfc radio yeah yeah he was in the back of kfc radio live and uh and andrew jumped up on stage and like delivered a couple questions for him on his behalf and he was always rolling around like all the Barstool events and Pints for Pete was something we did every year. The ALS challenge we all jumped into. Yeah, that was tough. There's a tough

picture of me and Dan at the ALS challenge. That one's going to get recirculated today. He would be laughing about it too. So our hearts go out to Andrew and Pete's mom and Lucy and everybody. I'm sure it's going to be a tough time, but not only just for them, but for everybody else who was touched by Pete and ALS. And I'm sure there's a million people out there suffering from that disease

who got a little bit more inspired and fought a little bit harder. And with all the money they raised and the research they've done, I'm sure the next person hopefully can live till 44 and 54 and 64 and get to see their kids, you know, grow up and everything. So I mean, the legacy that he leaves is like combined, you know, like 10 people. He had a bigger legacy than 10s under. Yeah. I mean, that was just like the first number that popped in my head.

I mean, the legacy he's leaving is just i mean do you think about the amount of people who have like died from that horrible disease and you know unfortunately not let you know and then not to knock them but you know there's nothing they didn't do anything about it they couldn't you so few people could even put a dent in that disease and what he did was you know well well beyond that hundred people thousand people a million a million people all right how about this honestly not again not to knock anybody And what he did was, you know, well, well beyond that. A hundred people. A thousand people. A million. A million people. A million people. All right.

How about this? Honestly, not again, not to knock anybody or measure it, but like how many ever people have died from ALS prior to him never did even, you know, a fraction of what he was able to do. So I'm not even talking to ALS as being like. Just a legacy as a human. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, you know, he was such a good baseball player.

Right. And like when you read, if you read up on the stories like the way he like he learned like it's just something's off you know like i'm not able to do the things i used to be able to do and the doctors like didn't think like no way i think he was 26 when he's diagnosed 27 maybe and it was they're like i mean i'm not even checking for any less yeah it's not happening yeah people this age and i i forget how many years he was given, but yeah, he blew it out of water. And like never, never is from the very little I knew him, like his sense of humor seemed to like stay the same, which I would hope I would be that way. I think partly sometimes when you are hit with such a shitty diagnosis, you're like, listen, I know everyone else is freaking out. Like you probably have a

com come over you or like i'll be the one to joke about it or or talk about it but sometimes i think i would just be so fucking miserable to be around and be like why why you know like why me and all that shit and he was always like just clowning you know yeah he was always very funny i mean i was one of the first people to tweet like r.i.p what a great guy last time yeah and i'm gonna text him angie like pizza's you're an idiot yeah uh i i just can't imagine when you have a four-year-old who's like you know again knowing knowing how much oh how aware they are it's not like a little baby anymore where i'm sure when when she was first born it was like well you know who knows if she'll ever know him and And he hung on so long that she definitely did. So, you know,

I guess she'll always have those, hopefully those memories of him. But rest in peace to Pete and thoughts and prayers go out to the Freydis family. But I'm sure as they've done this whole time, they'll do it with grace and humor and be as impressive as ever.

So we love the Freydis family over here at Barstool, and I guess let us know if there's anything we can do. I'll get back to the calls, 833-85-STOOL. James from Florida is on the line. What's up, James? Hey, KFC. Well, first I want to make a note of the Frady's family, obviously. I've heard Pete's name mentioned in numerous ALS-related things

outside of Barstool, so that kind of just tells you how big of an impact he's had on that disease. Yeah, I mean, that was far from a Barstool thing. That was a worldwide, international, you know, internet. That was one of the biggest things ever. Internet has ever seen the ALS. I mean, every celebrity, and it also gave birth to the 50 Cent video with Floyd Mayweather, which was an unintended consequence, but I would say for me personally, Pete Frady is the longest lasting legacy will be that he gave birth to that

video with 50 cent clowning. So thank you for that, Pete. What do you got James? So I've been a stool is in probably four or five years now. And I think the majority of the content that I consume is like radio and podcast. So I've had this question for a while. And I think the, the, the Smitty ad read last week on Barstool radio kind of reminded me, you guys read so many ad reads on podcasts and radio.

And a lot of them are the same. Have you guys ever had the thought of just like recording it? So you don't have to like read it every single time. You know what's funny? I just, I literally had that thought this weekend that I should have like in case of, you know, emergency or when like right now I have a fucked up week where we're trying to record podcasts early. And I was like, we should just have the script ready to drop in. But there's a reason why.

First of all, do we have video audio of the Smitty and Reed? We need to listen to it. I can find it. I can find it. You haven't heard of it yet? You heard of it, right? You know what we're talking about? Yes, I have heard of it.

Because, like, the reaction from the guys in the studio and the callers and the listeners were like, what the fuck was that? He had a stroke. I mean, I remember my first ad read, DraftKings, KFC Radio via Skype. I was by myself. I'm in the room alone and I just had the piece of paper to read and I couldn't breathe right. I was like, the spit was in my mouth, my breath was off. You can like by the end of it i was like is the radio promo good like had no air in my mouth or my lungs and i was like what the fuck is wrong i just read a paper at that point we weren't improvving or anything it was just like just fucking read the piece of paper uh i think

the reason we don't i mean the radio ones are different but i know for like us like we just work it into the conversation on unnecessary roughness. Like Velveeta is our title sponsor. So it's like, well, whatever we're talking about, we're just going to like work in Velveeta as opposed to just reading it flat out. And that's the answer to James's question is that like the reason why I believe last I heard for, you know, numbers, which never lie, was like one in four Americans are listening to podcasts. And, you know, one out of every two or three or whatever it is, respond to ad reads and use promo codes and do all that shit. It's because it's the most like personalized type of fan interaction there is. It's like if you do just start to read them and drop them in, it loses all its value.

Yeah, because it's like when we do Tommy John, it's like we're actually talking about wearing Tommy John that day. Then people are like, oh, that's more interesting. That's why the sponsors who let you run with things are far better than the ones who stick to the script because when we have a lot of fun with it is when people don't even realize they're listening to an ad read. Reading Manscaped and or Roman ads with Brandon Walker,

me reading them with him is a sight to be seen. He gets so... Manscaped goes hard. They like to talk about whatever you want. But he's just so uncomfortable because I'm the one that's reading. I'm the one doing it. I'm like, hey.

Shave your balls, Brandon. And he's like, I can't do this. I just can't. He's a Southern gentleman. Brent from Tennessee, what do you got on our boy Pete? Yeah, I want to say thank you guys for as much as you guys bring awareness to this situation and everything. I'm actually in the car with my three-year-old son who was diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease.

And we're on our way to a national accident hospital in Ohio. And this is a very sensitive subject, but you guys always do a phenomenal job, you know, bringing awareness, telling people, you know, what's important. And, you know, KFC, KC, Fights, all of you, just thank you from the bottom of our hearts, from everybody in this community. It truly means a lot. Well, I mean, sure, I'll take it. I don't think that we are really the ones who deserve any sort of thank yous or anything but uh thank you i guess i'll certainly take take that but i mean in comparison to uh you know parents like yourself or pete and his entire family and extended friends

and all that they're the ones who had to go through it and who are the ones who fought through everything so they're the people who are like the real inspiration and let you, I mean that, you know, I'm not doing anything other than taking a cue from Pete phrase and his family about what's important and what matters and what you should be focused on in life. So it all trickles down from those guys. And if we're the ones who maybe pass it along to you, sure.

But just know that it comes from people much better than, well, me. I don't speak for anybody else, but certainly much better than us. He was, like, such a good dude and an incredible person and inspiration that, like, I don't even feel comfortable talking about him because I don't feel like I deserve to. I honestly was, like – I'm not on the same plane as him. It's, like, talk – I mean, I don't want to turn it into –

it's, like, a God worship, but, like, it's, like, talking about a God. Like, he is not me. I don't even – like, even if all I want to say are, like, sorrows and sympathies and my thoughts are with you, I don't deserve to, even if all I want to say are like sorrows and sympathies and my thoughts are with you, I don't deserve to give mine to people. Yeah. I was like,

I feel like someone, I feel like someone else should be on the air delivering news of that magnitude for a person that like that big, because all I can do is be like, Oh my God, that's, that's sad. And it sucks.

And you were great. And I wish someone else more eloquent than myself. But that's the ultimate test of a great human. Is it like me or regular humans like me? don't even feel like I've earned the respect or in the honor of speaking about. Right. Right. What he did is so much bigger.

So next level. But you should be able to share the legacy. I understand he did it. But like people, you know, the legacy needs to be shared, even if we don't feel like we deserve to. Good luck to you, Brent, and your baby boy back there. And we'll hit our number two here on CCK, RIP to Pete Brady's. One of the most important words in the English language in recent years, swipe.

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I guess I'm sure there's a lot of music fans out there who are Juice WRLD fans. There was some dude. What's his name? Shit, I forget it now one of the guys who rolled with like him he was like boys with xxx tentacion he was cool little peep and he was like best friends with juice world and his tweets were like what the fuck is going on here it's like they're taking all my friends just take me next so i mean a lot a lot a lot of young i saw one music people on tiktok about... You're watching TikToks now.

Jack Mac tweeted it. But one TikTok that, like, there's conspiracy theories that he faked his death. Yeah. It took seven seconds, and I was like, yeah, fake. Well, he tweeted that. He had tweeted that, and then he had those lyrics on that song about X-6, X-6, Tassio, and, like, fuck the 27 Club. We're not making it past 21, and he just turned 21.

And another thing about john lennon john lennon died yesterday that was his oh yeah december 8th and what he was john lennon or some shit oh so they could i mean i'm sold that's all i mean oh you're saying that you believe it oh hell yeah i believe it i i feel like it's tough when uh you were in the middle of a airport and like bleeding from your mouth and getting well it was the private airport though it was the it was the private hangar because i was confused because i thought it was like you know i was like waiting to see horror horrendous horrendous video of him like you know in the middle of the fucking terminal they said it was oh hair but then like there was like the videos that came out of like his girlfriend was like i putting it on her

instagram story like walking on the private plane i was was like, that doesn't make any sense. Like, so it was the private hangar of O'Hare. Got it. You know, I mean, I would love, you know, it's kind of like you don't want to disrespect him if he did just straight up die of a seizure. I think I would love to get into a little. I'd love to be true. I'd love to be conspiracy theory to be right. Speaking of private hangars and things like that. Did you see Chrissy Teigen yesterday?

Chrissy Teigen. Is that well now? I'm now I'm thinking, is that was she talking about this no no she just did a q a someone tweeted like i wonder if celebrities actually even have drunk drawers whatever so chrissy quote tweeted it with a picture of her junk drawer which is not a drunk drawer um then being like yes i do like i guess like time for a round of like ask chrissy any celebrity questions yeah and there were a bunch but the one that stuck out was like i was like how do you guys fly like why do we never see you guys in airports and like because they don't make private everywhere right and she said there's a a mile away from every airport there's a famous people a membership club yeah where they go through they do all security

the same way and then they just drive you to the airplane which is like i was like by the way by the way like how do you how famous you have to be that be? I bet you don't have to be famous. Pay? Yeah. What do you want to pay? I don't know. I bet you there might be a – because you might have money, but you might be like a fucking scummy – do you think TMZ could just pay to get in there?

For sure not. You know what I mean? And they catch people at LAX all the time. TMZ does. Well, that's what I'm saying. So that means when you see like a celebrity quote-unquote walking through the terminal they're a broke boy yeah it's like oh you can get caught next to the anteans and the fucking in terminal c at la guardia not even on the raya of yeah

i mean i saw charles barkley walking through when when i landed in uh well i mean at some point i guess eventually you have to be like at the regular airport right because like when you land you probably get off with the regular people. There's only one door to get off the plane. Yeah, that's true. So if you're flying anything other than a person. So it's more about getting on. And hanging out. Like, yeah, yeah. So maybe the people that are getting caught at the ante-ends are

just coming off the plane. Right. But if you're getting caught going on, better step your game up, man. We got another conspiracy here. Brody, what do you got on Juice WRLD? Well, there's a rumor that he was going through TSA, or before going through TSA, he realized he had a handful or a pocket full of pills,

and he just decided, like, I can't get caught with this shit, and then just swallows it all. I sincerely hope that's not the case, because that's going out as maybe that's the dumbest way to die. And also, I've done that. Exactly. With fucking pills you could die from? I guess so.

I was going through TSA and I had a buddy who had pills with him. And it wasn't like a handful but he's like, here, take these. And he took some and I took some. And the next thing I knew, I was in a parking lot with Logan. And he took some and I took some. Whoa. What was it? And the next thing I knew, I was in a parking lot. Sleep on Logan.

You didn't ask any questions. I love this man. You didn't ask any questions. First of all, I love this kid for so many reasons. First of all, yet another story I never heard, which is crazy that this is still happening. Number two, it's the most fucking ride or die guy ever. it was rider shit dude ever that could have been cyanide even like whatever dude it was international too so it was like we were leaving i forget it was jamaica the bahamas and we had a layover in atlanta he told me i was just meandering around the food court

at the atlanta um like he's like you were just creepy walking all around the atlanta at the atlanta uh food court i guess you will and like holy shit i know i was just dragging my bag through like looking for my car i was like and then you drove i wasn't like i was i was fine i came out of it i was just fine i was like i stopped being blacked out did he tell you do you know what well whatever it Talk later. Yeah, I think it was Xanax. Two Xanaxes. Yeah, I mean, that'll do it, man. That's like when you're flying to fucking Australia.

Not when you're flying from Jamaica. It's like three hours. And layover was like a six-hour trip. Well, okay. Maybe it's not the stupidest thing in the world. Although if he does it, it is. I was going to say. And the big difference is, and I mean, by no means means am flying on planes like Juice WRLD has flown on,

but you don't go through TSA like a normal person does. You can get on a plane with pretty much anything. Juice WRLD would have been like, yeah, I got a bunch of drugs, dude. That's why I'm at the Famous People Hotel terminal. That's why I'm here. It's a private airplane. Never once when we have flown private for the college football show has anybody even so much as looked into my bag yeah not even close right so it's your plane i didn't know that guy was that young i barely i mean i only know a couple

of his songs i'm too washed for the ship but he just turned 21 that's fucking so young he also that also means he was like really gonna be a fucking monster you know when you sound like a huge multi-million dollar deal record deal it was i saw a video of him freestyling because i also never know who who what rappers are like good anymore and he was doing like the cal type shit he had a a guy just grabbing stuff off of the desk putting in front of his face and he was literally he was just leaning on like a counter kind of and was just like rapping and he would just look and lighter comes up and he says lit and fucking bottle of this. And he mentions the brand for like four minutes straight. It was crazy.

He was like he famous from SoundCloud, right? I think he was a big SoundCloud guy. Yeah, I just know. I believe that's where he started. Yeah. And then he went mainstream. I know a bunch of the younger guys here. We're all very sad about it.

So to lighten the mood, because Juice WRLD is maybe he's running around, but maybe dead. And Pete Fradies has now died. I want to play the audio on this Smitty ad read, which took Barstool Radio by storm on, what, Thursday night or Friday night, whatever it was. I know that he got a chance at redemption the next day doing an ad read. I don't think he – I don't know if he delivered or not, but let's hear this. And this is – I'm not going to laugh because this is one of those things that the casual – like an average person will laugh at. And until you're behind the mic, for whatever reason, it's just different than reading a piece of paper. I don't know why.

I mean it's like reading in class. Only instead of class, it's hundreds of thousands of people. It's like you know how to read. It's a great experience. Yeah, and especially when you are kind of expected to improv a little bit or give your own twist on it or whatever so i'm not gonna laugh but i mean maybe they're also terribly written too yeah that's true it's always someone who's like not that funny trying to be funny and they try to write the jokes for you it's like just leave that to the professionals but let's hear it

this is smitty on barstool radio doing an ad read. Three, two, one. Bowling Branch is known for making the incredibly soft organic cotton sheets that millions of Americans love, including three U.S. presidents. Their signature soft sheets, soft sheets that get softer and softer over time, make the perfect thoughtful gift. When you give Bowling Branch organic cotton sheets, you're giving them something they'll enjoy for 365 days a year. And if you've never tried them, there's nothing better than waking up Christmas morning on a fresh set of Bull & Branch sheets. They are beautiful, throw blankets,

and cozy flannel PJs that make great gifts too. So there's nothing to stress over. Yes. Bull & Branch makes it easy. Her packing is beautiful, so no wrapping is required. yes easy her packing is beautiful so no wrapping is required and if you order by December 23rd it's guaranteed to get there in time for Christmas with free shipping

whoever is left on your guest gift list get them all including yourself something something at bowlingbranch.com spell B-O-L-L-N-B-R-A-N-C-H-D-O- b-o-l-l and branch.com sports bowling branch.com promo code sports yo it's funny because at first i was like all right this is so bad like he's he's not smooth here but then there's that pause where he clearly was like about to pass out he's like let me refill my entire body with oxygen here

because I haven't taken a breath in two minutes. I thought for sure like the internet cut out or something. Right. Nope. That was just a pausing to regroup. What was he pausing for? I had to listen to the audio three times to realize that my computer's fine. It's me.

I know exactly what happened. There are times where you just fucking run out of air. I'm like, I'm going to pass out if I don't. Like drooling a little bit? Like you need to swallow your spit? You can't do this anymore. I have so much spit, like a chipmunk built up in my head. And I'm going, my vision's getting spotty because the oxygen, there's none in my brain.

And I just need to stop and reboot. Like, okay, pause, get my bodily functions going. I do that all the time. I actually almost tweeted it just last night. I was was gonna ask if people forget to breathe all the time i do all the time like i'll be just laying in bed and it's like i'm like paul korea coming back from the scott stevens hill you just forget to breathe all the time all the time it's like it's like it's like forgetting to breathe enough. It's not like I'm totally holding my breath.

I think he's holding his breath. I'm not holding my breath because that implies that I'm doing something actively. I'm just forgetting to breathe. I'm not holding my breath. I'm just not breathing. Do you breathe when you work out? Yeah. So you don't forget in those moments.

You just forget when you're laying down? Yeah. I'm working out. I'm thinking about about my breath i'm just laying there watching the movie i'm forgetting to breathe finalberg is like at any given moment one step away from death like oh yeah the bot the heart's barely pumping the lungs are barely working it's usually the opposite when people are like when you're working out don't forget to breathe because your body he's just laying in bed that's i think I think when, when they talk about it. I was thinking about it the other day. I'm a really good workout breather. I, you know, when they inhale and exhale. Someone finds their breath.

Yeah. I have discovered my breath except when I'm in bed. That's, that's like when, uh, it's similar to doing an anery. It's like when, when you're singing a song or you have to like breath control, like you, you don't, you don't realize like I have to, you have to breathe. Like when you get, when you get a natural pause, give yourself a good, Wait, get that? Get that fucking air there.

He went NPR voice, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Broad and Birch is brought to you by. And also, though, I mean, that, whoever wrote that copy with, like, fresh sheets and there was a couple, like, shushes back to back. There's a lot of alliteration there. They just set me up for fucking failure.

But I do know that feeling when he first missed his like fresh sheets that it starts to snowball. And then you're like, it's rather more people should do what he did there where you're just like, stop. I'm going to regroup. Because when you try to keep up with it, you are running downhill. It's like when you're going down a hill on like rollerblades or a skateboard and you pick up too much speed you start to wobble and you're just like fucking i'm bailing that's what you all should just jump out and restart the

meme of the fire meme where he's like sitting around like this is all fine that's the way you feel the middle of a 60 second thing that feels like it's five and a half minutes and you're just everything around you is unraveling and you're just like fuck i have to get through this that's why john feidelberg never does an ad read ir Irish Johnny will occasionally do an ad read. Oh no. John Feileberg does not do ad reads. Nope. Only Irish Johnny. Little Irish Johnny came up. And even Irish Johnny, he's very rare. But the when it's necessary. When we had

whoever, I had a kid, I think his name was Sean. He like cataloged all of our voicemails for the ATI. He went back to like episode one and was listening and he was like boy that DraftKings read I was like I don't want to talk about that I'm sure we can dig it up somewhere but I remember like I don't even think you guys even like noticed or cared because I was reading

an ad you were on Skype and like at that point we didn't even know what a good or bad ad read was but I remember finishing being like I mean I could have just fucking done it again by the way it wasn't like we were live I don't know why I fucking felt like I had one shot to do it, but I remember being completely out of breath, stumbling, spitting, drooling. That spit, I don't know. It's like, when are you supposed to swallow but also breathe? It's impossible. Have you ever read off a teleprompter?

No. One time. One time I did. That can get pretty. If you miss one word or one line, you are so fucked. I did it once for Internet internet hall of fame but it was like we could stop start stop start because if you don't get the right pacing it's actually pretty it was like pretty slow at first then we're like all right i was like all right speed it up

speed it up then it was too fast yeah you got like the underrated relationship in network tv is the host with the person who's running the prompter right so they can figure out they can figure oh yeah they control it so if like you they you start to slow down or whatever like they can slow down but if you've got somebody that doesn't know you you are fucked especially if you're reading highlights too yeah are you like having to watch and read the prompter your brain just breaks yeah it's a terrifying feeling and i feel like it's not only like do they have to know you but like are they gonna do they care you know what i mean like exactly just let it run and like sometimes like i would totally fuck it over oh yeah for sure like fuck the casey for sure there and i feel like sometimes like I would totally fuck her over oh yeah for sure

for sure there and I feel like sometimes if I could tell the person was like irritated with me they just like run a little bit too slow so I'm like because I talk fast as it is I'm like you know I talk fast let's move it up and then the best thing is whenever you have somebody else right it's the whole thing on Anchorman it's like when you have

somebody else writing it like if you're writing your own which I always wanted to write my own because of the way I speak, somebody else writing it, they're just going to fuck you. Yeah. Because you'll say whatever is on that screen. I mean, Dave was still on the whiteboard.

It's like, do not read this part. Whoa. Come on, man. Oh, yeah. Come on. I mean, if you did an ad read on radio and you were holding the paper, you would probably do the same thing

because you don't realize what you're doing. Oh, definitely. I mean, there's the an ad read on radio and you were holding the paper, you would probably do the same thing because you don't realize what you're doing. Oh, definitely. I mean, there's the one ad read not too long ago that the phone number, they wrote out the words for the numbers. Like O-N-E-S-I-X-F-O-U-R for, you know, 10 numbers. I was like, what the fuck is this? Are you from this planet? That's not an advertising thing thing that's not an american thing that's just like a living breathing human thing might as well put it like two five two

yeah right in the order out of yeah like the whole the whole thing was completely ever talked to someone who like does that like what's the phone number six three five eight four two no that's not that person what people do that to? I've had people do that, yes. I mean, it's ridiculous. Whenever somebody asks you for your credit card number, like, I always, like, at the very end, I always somehow change. Like, I'll do, like, 7, 4, 8, whatever.

And at the end, I'm like, 10, 28. Like, the last four numbers, I read, like, a phone number. Do you know what I'm talking about? Rather than saying 1, 0, 2, 8. Yeah, I don't know why. Like, my brain is just processed. When I see those last four numbers, I just read it like a telephone number.

I think, by the way, we need to formalize and standardize that whole process i think there should either be i think probably to play it safe the person should have to repeat it back to you always yeah yeah like but sometimes they don't and then i'm like waiting for them to and then i'm like oh they're not going to So I'm just going to keep going. The world should know that I'm going to say that, that, that, that,

and you're gonna go, and I'm going to say three more and you're going to say three more. And then that way we're all on the same page because when I'm always pausing, like, all right, are they going to do a read back or not? Okay, wait now,

now the pause has been too long. It's all fucked up. And they're probably waiting for you. Like, hello, fucker. Just say the fucking number, which it's like,

or that can be the agreement too. There is no repetition, but we need to get on the same page. What do you do with the date? When they ask you're like, hello, fucker, just say your numbers. Just say the fucking number. Or that can be the agreement, too. There is no repetition. But we need to get on the same page. What do you do with the date when they ask you the expiration date? How do you say it? That I would say like 10-28. I would say like. I suck at that.

I panic every single time. I'm like, December of 21. What an asshole. December of 21? December 21? That is bullshit when someone, like a a website when you're buying it when they put the month in instead of the numbers i'm like i don't know dude six yeah it's like i've just memorized the number i don't know the fucking correlation to the calendar asshole i don't know

but i'm always assuming the person that's putting the information in has to do the drop down month so i'm like well if i say seven no because sometimes they're just putting it in i don't know i just i panic that is the one thing like I can read everything else. Fine. When the people ask me what my expiration date on my credit card is over the phone, I panic. December of 21. Why did you just say it like that? I always panic when they say debit or credit because I don't really fucking get why that's

even a thing. I'm like, what's the fucking difference? Does it matter? Just give me my shit. Let me get out of here. So then I'm always I say back to them like, whatever is easy for you. Do you have to like push an extra button or do an extra thing for i don't know when i should have just just said one because they're like what do you mean what's easier for

what like i don't okay fine you know i don't know if there's like a fee attached to it if it's credit or if it's debit do you have to push an extra thing so you tell me what's better and now we wasted another 30 seconds where i could have just said debit i thought the only difference between debit and credit was one actually has money on it. Like you can take money off of a debit card and a credit card you just like every debit card be a credit card. Every

every. Yeah. No. Now but now I'm going to be thinking about this. Yeah. To me it's like I would even ask like if I was putting in a American Express and they said debit or credit it's a fucking credit card. Yeah. I can't be debit. I only said debit or credit, it's a fucking credit card. Yeah, I think they only ask debit or credit when you put in a debit card. Right, so that's crazy to me.

That's why they ask me. If that was me, I'd just be like, I can debit. I don't know. It has never in the history of the world mattered, right? Unless you're pulling money out. Unless you don't have money in your debit card. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, sorry for the broke boys out there. It's like put it on credit, put it on credit.

I can't even afford this. Or if you want cash back, it has to be debit. But why else would they ask you that? I always run out of there cash back. The very few times I do it, I never take my money with me. What do you mean? I was like, you forgot your money. You just forget.

I just like take my shit and I walk out. And they're like, you forgot your cash. Every time. Like when you go to a grocery store, you say cash back. You've never done that I knew that about him if I need cash or something but you don't have to pay for

like the ATM fees or anything you just get it from them so you're just there and you don't need cash you're just planning for the future no but yes kind of sometimes I'm just like if I if I know I'm going to need cash later on that day and I'm getting groceries and it's like, hey, can you give me 20 bucks? Right.

There's like you just described two experiences I'm not familiar with getting groceries, getting groceries or needing cash later in the day. I really need cash. Sometimes I need cash. I'm trying to think of an example, but there's definitely places that I go to that are cash only for certain things. And I just like restaurants in the city that are cash only. Yeah, but I'm never going to be like, give me $200 cash out, cash back for my, it's more just like petty cash shit.

I need money for a tip or this or that. Yeah, but this is something that like Feidelberg is never even going to consider. When you go to hotels, you don't tip like the people who take your luggage or not? Yeah, I don't know, I just get cash at the ATM in the lobby or I don't know, I get cash, I acquire cash somehow. Yeah, it's not like it's something I go out of my

way to do but like if Whole Foods does it I'm always like I might as well grab a 20 or a 40 or something I only do it if I have a reason to but I think it's easier to do when you're already paying for something as opposed to just going to a lobby cash rules man cash rules I hate having cash I know but it's like the good old days of

cash only shit was good now the people that are like, you can't hide anything anymore. Everything, taxes and all that shit, everything is above board. That's why these bars and restaurants that are still cash only are fucking killing it. All the beach bars are always cash only

for a fucking reason. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we only made this much this year. Whatever, dude. And they can get away with it. As servers, too, you don't have to claim the cash. So's like i if i do have cash i will tip them cash because they don't have to say they made it you got to be real real legit nowadays to say you're still cash only like it better be a very good deli a very fun bar or a bomb-ass restaurant otherwise i'm like get

the fuck out of here who do you think you are the way, the people that beg on the subways now, they take Venmo. I know. It's nuts. The excuse of being able to say, I'm sorry, I don't have any cash on me, which I normally don't, that's dead. But my new excuse is, if you've got an at handle of any sort, you ain't that bad, okay?

You ain't roughing it that fucking much. Even the derelicts can have an at. Well, there's this girl. I mean, I don't know ages of children at all, but she was definitely early elementary school. We should do a challenge with both of you on that. I have no clue. I'm going to show you pictures of children ranging from like four to 13 and just watch you get fucked. I don't know if I'm into that.

I have. I cannot tell ages at all. Period. But she came up to me on the subway and she was like, Hey, you know, I'm selling candy or whatever, like for my class. And I was like, I'm sorry, I don't have any cash. And she goes, Oh, but I have Venmo. And she's like a child.

I'm like, fuck, I have to. And then she's like, so you can just Venmo me $10. And I was like, I'll be Venmoing you five just for saying, I probably would have given her 10, but I hated that she told me how much to Venmo her. Yeah, no, I would have Venmoed her. Back in the day. And I would have been like, know what you little bitch fuck off what was what was she saying she was selling candy i think yeah that's always i don't feel

like that's a scam too it's like no but i also just didn't want the candy i was like i'll just give you this ten dollars for just so you walk or five dollars you'll just walk away from me she was just very who's young to be left Yeah. That's really what you're doing. Yeah. Let's go to Gage from Illinois. What's up, Gage? Alrighty. So I felt like this was the right place to call because John and Kevin, you tell it how it is. And Casey, you're a girl and that's the target audience. But I'm moving into my first apartment by myself, studio apartment downtown.

That's not a big city but like capital illinois but um and i'm struggling with like it's a weird thing but what do i put on the walls you know that's a that's a real thing no that's a real thing that's definitely a thing when i when i got my first apartment there was like a art fucking gallery or some shit right on the corner and i just went in and bought three things hung them up on my walls i have a lot of art yeah i have i think it goes a long way i think it's worth the investment not in my apartment now but I have a lot of art. Yeah. I think it goes a long way. I think it's worth the investment. Not in my apartment now, but I have a lot of art to hang in an apartment I care about. That's right.

It's just waiting for you, right? Yes. You also have two clocks. In my room. I have two grandfather clocks as well, yes. I'll probably bring one of those. But the, yeah, I don't know. I have like a really cool picture of, I have a, let's say I have a drawing of where the

wild things are um i have a cool picture of a castle hill in newport it's like taken of castle hill from the top um i don't know just pictures and paintings and shit yeah but i think like you can't do like your college posters and i also think that you can't just go get like a a print of like starry night you know what i mean i mean you can but i would rather like i i got something that i thought was like a a print of like starry night you know what i mean i mean you can but i would rather like i i got something that i thought was like a little unique or like something that like makes a little bit of sense to you it's kind of really i mean if you want to like really you can pretty much if you put any fucking stock picture on the wall it'll look better than a blank white wall

but if you want to do a little bit of like your own uh flavor like get some shit that's you know what tape a fucking banana to the wall i don't know don't do that shit i the as a girl walking into like a guy's apartment i've always noticed if it's bare walls is an absolute nope like that to me looks like you're gonna murder somebody in there but then hanging just regular posters too like without like frames or anything i would but anything else unless it's something that's like super cool to me i don't even critique it if there's stuff on the walls and it looks like it's been nicely put on the walls, I don't pay attention to it. It's like, oh, there's things on the walls.

They have some sort of style. Yeah, exactly. Unless it's a style that I'm just like, oh, this is amazing, then I'll comment on it. But if you just have shit on your place nicely on your walls, that's all that matters. So what's the drawing of where the wild things are that you sought out? Because I know you like that. So did you find somewhere yeah so like if you that's that's probably a good way to like if you have a favorite book you have a favorite i wouldn't say movie because then you're kind of going down like the poster route but if you can find something like

that that's like places like newport like places that are yeah places that you've been to i have painting of like a stadium that you like. I mean, a ballpark. Like, obviously, don't just put like a picture, but just like things that like you like that look nice. Like, that's all you need. Just don't do white walls. Basically, anything you like, you can find an artist. Somehow, some way.

I got a resin painting hanging on my wall. It's just like a blue, like wavy thing. I got a picture of Santorini on the wall. The other day, I'm sitting with Keegan on the couch and he's looking into the dining room and he goes, can we go there? And I was like, go where? And he's like, can we go there? And I'm like, where? And he's pointing. And I'm like, usually he's asking to go like the playground or something like that.

And he's pointing and I get up and I start walking with him. He's pointing the fucking Santorini grease. No, we cannot. Not for a long, long time time they have these things too what's i don't know what's this caller's name gauge gauge i don't know if you have like a favorite city like that's not the city you live in but they have these really cool like panel skylines now that they're all different sizes and like that's a really cool thing for i mean guys and girls have i have one of like la but it's really neat because it looks like it's this expensive art thing and it's really just panels of a skyline and i think usually if you find something like that sometimes it comes in like a set

yeah that's like boom taken care of yeah that's three things on one on each wall and it's a theme it looks like it's planned out and you're good the one of la i have is just four different panels and then they just show you exactly how to line it up and you put it on the wall and it looks like it's been done by somebody professional and it's just i would go i would go like this i would go i would find depending on you know because some of the shit can get expensive so depending on your budget but i would find something that like matters to you i would get something like casey just described like a multiple thing and i would get a mirror and then it's like mirrors are great done takes up a whole wall get a big ass mirror it's like bam done you don't have to decorate it at all

girls like mirrors what i'm gonna do you know how they have the bunched picture frames? It's almost like eight of them together. They all kind of hang the same. Yeah. I'm going to do that with my favorite. You know how the screenshots now that they go out with the subtitles of an episode? Yeah. I'm going to do my favorite scene from a bunch of shows.

There you go. And those 3D, not 3D, but the canvas on the wooden block thing. That's what I'm talking about with the skyline. The skyline, it's the canvas, and you put a little bit of space so it looks a little bit artsy. Because that way you don't have to get the frame, because frames with glass and the wood can be expensive. Yeah, the canvas that has the wood backing into it is great.

Another thing that I really like, and it's easy to do if you have a favorite magazine or something like go actually get it like framed and like put like the story or whatever i always like that to me is super interesting because it's obviously like a conversation starter too so like i've been i've been in like guys places before where they have like their favorite memory or whatever and it's like oh like you know obviously depends on what you do for a living and then she fucked you yeah yeah well it depends on what you do for a living like it's like oh like you know whatever do for a living. It's like, oh, whatever. Inside the point. Anything that's personal,

but just make it look good. Just definitely no white walls and do not hang a poster with tax. Don't do it. Unless it's that comic lecture one where she's been wearing that. I have one more question. Do you remember that?

What's like the... I saw... He said he has one more question. Oh, go ahead. What's up, Yig? I also... I have a Saturday for the boys class. Thanks, John, for not making any money off that.

Do I retire that? I'm about to turn 20. Oh. Well, that's pretty young. Oh, yeah. But I feel like if you have, are you still in college? No, so I, like, got a desk job this year, kind of skipped the whole college route. Yeah, I feel like if you're doing like apartment life versus dorm life, it's probably not.

Yeah. You can probably, I mean, it's a keepsake. I don't know if it needs to be prominently. Or if like eventually you have like a man cave type, you know what? Fold that shit up.

Like it's a funeral, you know what I mean? Like put it into the triangle and frame that. Can you imagine being 20 though and already having to retire that stuff? That's prime when you should be rocking with it, dude. Are you sure you want to do this? I don't know. It's a, you know what? That's prime when you should be rocking with it, dude. Are you sure you want to do this? I don't know. You know what?

It's almost like a toy story. Don't throw out the old toys. You might still like them. You know what I mean? Yeah, definitely hold on to that. Alright, I'll keep that on the wall. And I bought a tapestry of my favorite album. It's a Take Care album, a Drake album. So that's going to take up a little bit of space, but

that's tacky too. Yeah, it's like, it's basically, of space but i don't know that's tacky too yeah it's like it's basically it looks like i don't know why girls have it in the room it looks like a big ass sheet yeah yeah i know uh yeah i feel like that probably plays for your for your age yeah you're 20 yeah it's okay you don't listen to us with all of our like i was gonna say now that i know you're 20 it's like dude dude go with the blank walls who fucking cares do not do the blank walls whatever you do if you were 20 k, you wouldn't give a fuck about blank walls. No, I mean, yeah, obviously, like when you're 20, you don't care.

You're going to go home with somebody. But in college, it's different. If I'm going home with somebody that's like in the professional world and I walk in and they have white walls, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Turn around, walking right out.

Are they going to roll out a tarp so they can clean up my blood afterwards? Like, no, fuck that. Put something on the wall. All right. We got you pointing the right direction, Gage. Get books, too. Yeah, I pursue it, guys. Even if you don't read them. That's an easy no, fuck that. Put something on the wall. All right. We got you pointing the right direction, Gage. Get books, too. Yeah, I appreciate it, guys.

Even if you don't read them right now. That's an easy one, too. Throw up a fucking shelf and put a couple books. Coffee table book? They could be blank for all that matters. Just have some leather-bound books. I do have the Barstool coffee table book and the book of drinks. So that one's all the way.

Perfect. There you go. Beautiful. You're well on your way, Gage. Thanks, guys. Thanks so much. Somebody I saw on Twitter asked the question, what is the male equivalent of the Marilyn Monroe, like, picture?

Do you think there is one? We'll go to a break. We'll give it some thought. You know, like, I'm assuming they meant the one with, like, her dress being blown up. Oh, no, just any Marilyn Monroe, black and white. Pretty much that, too. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Is there a male version of that that stands out as far as posters go? The quick answer is no. Which one will it be? After the break on CCK. This time it was so unexpected. Last time it was the drugs he was lacing. All legends fall into making. Sorry, truth.

Dying young. Demi-youth. I'm going to keep it extremely real with you because that's what we do here at Barstool Sports. That's always what I've been with you guys is very real. I am very close to hitting a merch bonus with Barstool Indoors. What I need everybody to do is if you're looking to get some comfortable loungewear for yourself or for other people for the holidays, go to the Barstool Indoors section of the Barstool store and buy the hoodies and buy the lounge pants. You guys go out there and do that for me. I'll make a promise to you. It'll be the most comfortable pair of pants you ever own and the most versatile hoodie you ever own. And the promise back to me is that I've got a little extra money in my pocket for the holidays.

How about that? Let's just call a spade a spade. I'm going to keep it real and tell you, I need you to go to the Barstool store. Go to store.barstoolsports.com. There's the Barstool indoors line. There's the Viva line, the KC Radio Moon Man line. Fights has his jerseys out there. We got Quilted. We got Sherpa. We got Blankets. We got all sorts of stuff along with every other podcast and every other brand at Barstool Sports.

Go to store.barstoolsports.com today. Get your shop on. Barstool Indoors. Thank you. We're back. It's me and the rocket, Jared Karabas. It's funny hearing you on the WFAN airwaves. Is it?

Yep. You know who else heard me on the WFAN airwaves? Who? My good friend and now workout partner, Aaron Boone. What do you mean workout partner? So at the winter meetings, every morning, I go in the gym. Me and Booney, we just start throwing weight around. It's me and my buddy Booney.

Do you guys talk at all? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. You guys have made peace after you've mocked him his entire career, basically? Yeah. Yeah, we made peace last year at Fenway. Is it because he knows you're right? Is it because he goes, yeah, I know I'm managing that team

only because I hit that home run 15 years ago? I think that we came to a mutual understanding last year. I don't have a video of it, but someone from the stands took a picture of the actual conversation. We're like standing at first base at Fenway. Meeting of the minds. Yeah, we just talked it out. Hash it out like men. Ever since then, we've been great.

There was like a shoulder press machine that um you know i did the whole stack of weights on like the weights didn't go any higher uh all the weights were on and i i was doing like a shoulder press and i walked away from it and then i saw him kind of like walking around near and i went up to him and i was like hey um just let you know like if you decide to use the shoulder press to be mindful of where the pin is, because I did the whole stack of weights,

I don't want you to rip your shoulders out of its socket. And he's like, thank you very much. That was very, that was very pro of you. You're such an asshole. 8 3 3 8 5 stools. The phone number.

Let's roll right down the line here. We'll start with Michael in Vermont. What's cooking Mike. Yeah. First time, long time. I have a question for you, Kev. How surprised are you that Dave's port noise didn't explode in that video? If we're talking about the same video,

the Bagwell stance is one that is impressive. It's one that, now, I think the Bagwell's stance is one that is impressive. It's one that, now, I think the Bagwell stance cuts both ways. I think that, on the one hand, it shows strong balance and dexterity. On the other hand, I think it shows that you have to stand up on your feet because you're too short otherwise. You feel me, Jared? Maybe you've ever encountered that situation yourself because you and Dave are about the same height, like 5'7".

No, I'm 5'10", and I can't say I've ever struggled. You know, sometimes it just doesn't line up if everyone's on their knees. Sometimes you have to hop up on your hind legs. On your tippy toes. Exactly. You're fucking an elk. I've never. I can't say that.

So, yeah, I think when you have to have your own bare feet on top of your bed, it's just a funny circumstance, funny situation. It is. It is. I don't know. I can't say I've ever run into a lineup issue. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys think he was on his 11th time?

Cause that stamina was impressive, man. Somebody, somebody texted me again, you know, allegedly speaking of the same video and said, and the person who texted me was a Jewish guy. And he said like props,

props to Dave though. I didn't know Jewish guys could fuck like that. He goes, I know I can't. So, yeah, said like props props to dave though i didn't know jewish guys could fuck like that because i know i can't so um yeah again if we're speaking about the same video right yeah no yeah it's it's it's a funny funny visual for sure it's a funny visual what else you got mike uh that's about it man i have a good one thanks for my call Kev I love the callers today like Garrett Cole for sure not let's go to Sam in Iowa

what's up Sam hey guys you guys are talking long time listener I love the show thank you you guys are talking about the potential of the Mets and the Yankees and looking like it's pretty good potential.

What do you think the Cubs got to do here this offseason in order to get back to where they were in 2016? I think the Cubs are worse off than the Red Sox right now. The Cubs are shameful. The Cubs, let me tell you the most shameful people in baseball right now. Who?

I'll throw the Mets in there because until Steve Cohen takes over, Michael Waka, Ricky Two Freds, shameful people in baseball right now who i'll throw the mets in there because until steve cohen takes over i mean michael waka ricky two freds yeah which means they're probably gonna move a starter like if that's gonna be shameful that's gonna be disgusting that's gonna be shameful shameful yeah i'll put them fourth third i will put the red socks simply because they've just recently won although i don't know what they're doing. It doesn't really make sense. I don't think I know what they're doing right now. Two, I will say is the Cubs.

And number one, even though the Cubs though, what, why the Cubs? Because it, well, it just sounds like it's a bunch of rich people crying poor. Well, they just, they're not, they don't, they want to get rid of Chris Bryan. They don't want to include Anthony Rizzo. It's one thing if you want to like move on to a new regime or whatever, but this just, but they're what they, they spent too much money on like the,

the hotels around the neighborhood or some shit. I mean that, that sort of shit. When you start talking to me about your outside baseball problems leaking into my payroll as a fan, fuck you. Right. And then I will say maybe not holistically because it's just a one

singular thing, but what the Cleveland Indians are about to do. Oh God. Shameful. Yeah. Deplorable. I mean, it's reprehensible.

Like I would, I know it's been that way, but with this guy, if you're not going to keep Lindor, there is no point to even don't even exist. Yeah. You don't even deserve it. Like,

like I can understand, you know, this guy is a little too expensive and he's over the hill so we got to let him go or like we're gonna trade our youth right now and whatever when he when you are that good and that young like there's there's no other greater prize than a a premier position young stud like that stop if you can't sign your your your your cornerstone for a short stop then you shouldn't even be in the game i think i would stop being i would that would be it for me but they said

that like if they trade lindor there it's not like a full rebuild like they're just like yeah we're just well then that's even worse because i would rather you like blow it up and tell me that you're going to get the best prospects in the world and that a few years from now you're going to be great again what's the point when like you get all these prospects and they become exactly what you want them to be that's what i mean you don't pay them that's what i mean almost like that's the one guy even even if you're not committed to building a roster that's world series contender like they had in 2016 lindor is the guy that you pay that's the guy like at least we have him here so that fans fucking show up well that's the other thing too is even if you're doing it for the wrong reasons as an owner, it's like, well, people will pay to see that people buy that jersey.

People will pay money to come see. Yeah. And, you know, like the Cubs, like I think they're pretty shameful also, like I said. But let's say you already got your MVP season out of Chris Bryant and you already won a ring. And so if you business wise feel the need to move on while it's gross, fine with Lindor, like you haven't even seen it or gotten it yet. And it's right. It's there. It's just crazy.

Yeah. It's just sickening. You shouldn't be an owner of a baseball team. If you're going to let that go, if you're going to publicly make statements, like we'll see our first $300 million contract when MLB sees its first billion dollar contract. Like you're just like if you get rid of those guys. Yeah.

Like if your angle is we're just never going to spend, then why do you own a major league franchise? Just give up your spot. There's 30 spots. You clearly don't want yours. Get the fuck out then. Like, what are you doing? Him, the Wilpons, all those guys. Anybody who's like that? Get the fuck out of this league. you doing? Him, the Wilpons, all those guys. Anybody who's like that, get the

fuck out of this league. Hayden from Pennsylvania. What's up, Hayden? Hey, what's going on, guys? So we know Dave's hot in the news right now and he's infamous for pizza reviews. Dave Portnoy? Oh yeah, Dave Portnoy.

So we know he's infamous for his pizza reviews and grades it 1 out of 10. So we know he's infamous for his pizza reviews, and he grades it 1 out of 10. So what would you guys grade Dave 1 out of 10 on his latest performance? Are we talking about the same video here again? Yes, we are. I gave it an 8.4. Oh, shit.

Are you on camera saying that? Yeah. I am too. Guess what I said. What? 8.3. I deducted a little bit of points, like I said, because, you know, when you got to go froggy style because you're too short, there's just some implications there. But, I mean, other than that, it was a strong performance. It was, I mean, like, I think someone said it before that it was the perfect crop for the video because.

You don't see too much. You can't tell who's who right you can't you can't see the girl's face that like you can't identify the girl i'm sure her friends can but who cares uh yeah that girl's probably i mean that's that yeah whatever there's no way dave was going in full jackhammer mode for longer than that six second he probably fell over after that he was probably gas gassed. Like that was it. He probably didn't even come. What's very funny about that is I would have to imagine that was put out in an effort to discredit and smear and tear down the participants. When, like if that was your goal, let's say let's say me i don't know

i'm a guy who has an axe to grind with dave portman if that fell into my possession upon first glance i would not say to to myself oh i've got the goods to damage this guy right i would say this is gonna prop this dude up if i saw that video i'm going to prop him froggy style. If I saw that video and I had intentions of harming Dave. I would burn that. You would not put it. I would get rid of that. I'd make sure that no one else sees it. The video itself made Dave look like a Greek god of sex.

Now, what's funny is that I bet you that's why it almost makes me feel it feels like it was cropped to do that because it almost feels like it cut off right when he like tipped over. Right. Right. When he was like, whoa, I can't do that because it almost feels like it cut off right when he like tipped over right right when he was like whoa i can't do that if the full exchange was eight and a half minutes they put out the only six usable seconds and like i bet you by the seventh second you know something fell down somebody like slipped that you know that's when the embarrassing moment happens because because what yes because what i've learned uh throughout my years is that those moments and this is why i tip my cap to the porn stars because that's the best way to put this uh like normal sex is almost like nba jam with turbo and like when you run out of it that's it

the game slows down to an embarrassing pace yeah and then you got to let it build back up and then you go back at it. Whereas porn stars, they just stay on turbo the whole time. They got the game genie cheat code where they can just. They literally inject their dicks like porn stars have like they put something in their dick and it's not it's not like a a like a viagra it's something that like keeps them like it probably fucking hurts i mean i used to tell stories about what guys used to do behind the scenes to stay up and stay i mean it's it's not it's not fun no what do they do there was one guy used to stab his dick with a fork what like i think like a plastic one so what does that do but it would like i think it would somehow keep him hard or maybe would stop him from coming too quick like

like the paint i don't know i don't fucking know now and that was one guy she was not saying that was like you know prevalent but but the point was that like everybody kind of had their thing that they did like yeah whereas you know i'm not looking to do that no like you'd think oh like what a life you know you're having sex for a living it's like nah no i feel like that's not for me that's one of those things it's like that's not the uh i do want like i want what happened to dave like i want like a six second wait what happened today what are we talking about here allegedly right i mean we're talking about like a different different friend you can say which dave yeah right just a Dave that we know. I want that to happen to me.

We're just six seconds of elite. Okay. So if that happened to you. Yeah. You're genuine, honest, Jared Karabas. Yeah. Not even the rocket reaction. What do you think you would.

If mine came out. Yeah. Without my permission. Yes. Like this exact. Let's say this exact scenario. You're Bagwell in it. Yeah. Yeah. Like down to the exact length and everything. Oh my permission. Yes. Like this exact, let's say this exact scenario, you're bag well in it. Yeah. Yeah.

Like down to the exact length and everything. God, I would be stoked. I would be stoked. All right. That angle, because like, it's almost like it's like,

if you're, if you're actually having sex, it's almost like you're at the gym. Like you get like a pump and everything. So if I have the same, yeah. If I have the same, yeah. If I have the same angle of that video.

And again, just grainy enough. Look like Hercules. But okay. So here, here's my thought. Like if, if this ever, and inevitably when bad things happen to me like this,

I'll kill myself. I'll just have to kill myself. Yeah. Me personally, I wouldn't care. Yeah. It's like, I think about my family. I think about about my family I think about my mom I think about my kids That kind of shit but if you don't have that

You can't see the dick either That's a big factor so I wouldn't even care If my family saw it It would just be like no I wouldn't I wouldn't want my family to see my dick But you're okay with You're okay with Lnc and you like smash as long as it's not there yep that's weird no i would it's all the same if you're no it's

not if your mother watched you stuff a head into the pillow that's that's all gravy i don't know as long as your dick's not there i think if i was just like going full doggy style jackhammer i wouldn't care if my family saw as long as you couldn't see my dick. I feel like that's over the line. That's the line. All right. Everybody has different lines. It's basically like you're only seeing my legs and like from my,

my belt up. That's it. Yeah. But that's what I mean. It's not about like what you're literally seeing. It's about like, it's what I'm doing. My parents know I have sex.

Does your, does your mom know that you just take heads like a robot and smash them into the ground? I mean, that was honestly like, it was like a robot and smash them into the ground. I mean, that was honestly like it was like a robot. I was like, like, down, engaged. I mean, that to me is where I would be again in a vacuum. If I lived completely solo, if I had no family, no friends, no no babies or nothing, I'd be like, I don't care. Yeah, it's that when I, you know, I know that my nothing. I'd be like, I don't care.

It's that when I, you know, I know that my mom would have to be like, oh, there's a fucking video of you out there. And like my kids would have to see that, you know, the kids are the big X factor. So that that's where I would freak out. But what he doesn't have those things. So I was wondering, I wonder what, you know, if, you know, if you were the person in this video, what your reaction would be? Yeah, I think my genuine reaction would be, who posted it? I think no matter what, I think you would be okay with it, but I do believe your first instant. I would love it.

No, but I think your first reaction would be like your gut would drop and you'd be like, oh, shit. And I think you'd have to think through all the repercussions and then maybe you would settle in being like, I'm okay with this. But I think your initial reaction is not one. And don't i i bet you the person in that video i bet had a moment of trepidation and like holy shit it depends like if if the person in the video is the one that put it out then like that's one box that i have to check where it's like oh fuck like this video is out there is she okay with like i'd be more worried about the girl

but if the girl put it out then it's like whatever i mean you did it it's a uh it's a wild time around these parts somebody asked me do you think that it is uh are you surprised that this took this long to happen to him or to anyone here barstool yes yeah right i mean it kind of does feel that way, right? I feel like if I were to put a number on it, 64% of the company has recorded themselves doing something, some sort of sex act. I mean, the company, like just the world at this point. Yeah. Everything's digitized.

Everything's filmed. Maybe the percentage is even higher. Yeah. We're just- Well, that's why, listen, I ain't throwing any stones because you never know when you're going to end up in that spot too. Yeah. It's a dirty world.

It's a dirty world. I'm challenging anyone with footage to tweet it, please. Q from Houston. What's up, Q? What's going on? You know. Yeah. I got a couple of questions here today.

You know, I got my first question. Has Dave shown face in the office today? Well, the ultimate kicker on this whole thing is Dave is out of the office today. Oh, man. And unfortunately, he's up at Pete Frady's funeral. So he's at the services for that. So, unfortunately, bad timing on that front. Sorry to hear that.

Another question. Has Tugger Carlson reached out for a sit-down interview yet? Has what? Has Tucker Carlson sent it in? Oh, man. That would be hilarious. I mean, the ultimate play here would be if, you know, allegedly it's all true, you know,

Dave playing the victim here would be hilarious. Yeah. This has got to kind of put blue check marks in a pretzel, right? Why? Because like technically, yeah. I mean,

both those people in those videos are victims there and it's a, it's a public, you know, it's, it's, we don't know how it got out. I do not. Huh?

I do believe that the, the intent was to like harm though. Oh, for sure. So like, which is just so, I mean, that's just the intent was to harm, though. Oh, for sure. That's just a person who has never seen sex before, who doesn't know that that's not going to be embarrassing. I guess. I mean, I don't know. That's the only clip they have?

It's such a good spot for him to be in. It's a good spot. Isn to be in. Like, it's a good spot. Isn't it a sick world where like, I, you know, I, I kind of agree, you know,

it's like, I mean, but okay, here's the thing. Like you can say all you want. You can talk about like release the tapes and shit. Like you probably could make this happen if you really wanted it to. Yeah.

So then why don't you put your money where your mouth is then? Because I, because I think you don't actually want it to happen. No, I do. I'm so on the record about it that if it only counts, like that's why it's perfect for Dave because obviously he didn't know that it was going to come out. Yeah, like if I had like some burner account tweet,

I'm like, oh, I retweeted. It's like, you just put it out there. You're like, cool, dude, you have sex. Yeah. You want to be a victim of this. Yes. Oh, my God. I want it on the record that I do not want to be a victim of this. Yes. Oh, my God. I want it on the record that I do not want to be a victim of that.

No, thank you. All right, let's see what else we got here. 833-85-STOOL is the phone number. I don't even know what the fuck this means. Matt from Pennsylvania. Yeah, what's going on, guys? What do you... Go ahead.

You don't know Gullah Gullah Island? I know, what is that? What? It was the Nickelodeon show. Binya Binya? Binya Binya, Pollywog. Binya Binya, Pollywog from Gullah Gullah Island? Binya Binya, Pollywog.

Yeah. I mean, I wish I knew. I'm going to have to Google this reference right now because I need to know if that's what he looks like. Oh, Binya Binya. Binya... He was a Pollywog. His voice. I used to Polly walk. His voice.

I used to be able to do his voice. Yeah. I mean, I get, I definitely can see the, I can't believe you never saw Gullah Gullah Island. You know what I learned that you said there's Nickelodeon. Yeah.

See Nickelodeon. I did fuck with Disney Disney channel. I don't know anything from that. I was too old for that. Yeah. Like if you throw out any series, sweet, sweet life,

Zach and Cody and all that shit. I don't know any of that stuff for me. I'm surprised. I don't know. Been, you been, you P for that. Yeah. Like if you throw out any series, sweet, sweet life, Zach and Cody and all that shit. I don't know any of that stuff for me. I'm surprised. I don't know. Been, you've been, you're Pollywog. Yeah.

Um, fucked up little afternoon delight for the person in that video too. It's very funny with the sun, like beaming through the, through the fucking windows. You have to be pretty confident in your, in your physical attributes to, to do like a all lights on,

you know, you say that like, and I and I understand what you mean, but, I mean, I'm not, and I've never been like, turn the lights off. Oh, I'm never the turn the lights off guy, but I know, like, girls will personally do it. Girls, yeah, girls are, I mean, I guess it's different for girls. Like, I know that I'm not a specimen to look at,

but I would never be like, let's not have sex in the sunlight. Right. Yeah. Like, whatever, dude. Yeah. At that point, now, I guess if you're going to look at, but I would never be like, let's not have sex in the sunlight. Right. Yeah. Like whatever, dude. Yeah. At that point. Now,

I guess if you're going to, you're going to film it and whatever, maybe it's a different story, but, uh, Tom from North Dakota is in the line. He's an idiot. What's up,

Tom? Oh, what's up? What do you got? Um, well, I just want to talk about Steve Cohen. I don't think that billionaires are the answer for us.

Oh, really? I think it's more likely he's using it as a tax shelter. Yeah, I mean, people, I've seen one other person say that. That's stupid. Why would you go through the hassle of, why would you be a minority owner, try to buy the Dodgers, try to buy the Jets, then swoop in and finally buy the Mets,

all because you need a tax shelter a tax haven like this guy is wealthy beyond anyone's wildest imagination he is already like he has every in and out and loophole and whatever in the financial world he's broken all the rules he's figured out all the loopholes this is like his grand scheme to save on some taxes i don't think so i mean what i read it came up to like 150 million a year he's saving tax that's a lot of money no matter how much you have i mean i guess like to me i just don't think i would go through like he's a private guy who's now going to be in the public eye he's got to go through so many steps It's so much more of a hassle than like his regular life of,

of managing funds. It just like, it's not, people don't buy franchises for tax implications. It's just too much of a commitment and, and money wise and time wise to, to do all that just for like, you know,

I'm just trying to save a few bucks on my bottom line. Well, I definitely hope you're right. Because as a Minnesota Twins fan, I know you can latch to anything that can give you success. Well, yeah. I mean, the difference here, because I know there have been other franchises who have had billionaires buy them. That hasn't worked out.

But I think the difference is when you do so in this town and when you are a noted, like, New York City finance guy who you win, you don't lose. He's kind of on the record or at least unofficially off the record as like hating the Steinbrenners. It's there's a competitive juice, too. Yeah, I mean, that that's where I have hope. Like if anybody else bought the team, I'd have to be like, all right, what what are your intentions here? It sounds by all accounts from anybody who's had any contact with him. His intentions are to fucking do this right.

Like Kevin Clancy could not have created in a super lab, a better owner. Exactly. It's like her fact. That's why it's not just that it's, I would have been happy with anybody aside from the Wilpons, but it's the best case scenario. It's the polar opposite of the Wilpons.

This is like, if a, if a six second video of you went viral and you look great in it. It's just the best luck possible. Let's hit our break. It's halftime here at 3 o'clock. A little special edition, two to four hour of CCK dog day afternoon with the Rocket. Come on back.

It's me and the rocket taking you through until 4 o'clock when Barstool Radio takes over to take you through to Cat and Chaps. I keep saying Cat and Chaps. I can't say Cat and Chaps anymore. I say Cat and Chaps. Cat and Chaps? Every time. That's weird.

That's a weird blockage in your brain. It's just not. It's like Carabas or Cooley or Fetalburg. It's just not happening. It can't happen. But we got a very special message from our fearless leader, Dave Portnoy, who is,

he's got some, some thoughts on life right now as he, he leaves the Pete Frady's services. Okay. Just come back from the Pete Frady's funeral. My guy, a sad, but joyous occasion celebration of his life.

And it got me thinking, how do you live the fullest? Like painted? How do you get the most out every day? In the Jimbo Bono speech, there are three things you've got to do every day. One, you've got to laugh. You've got to have fun. Take nothing too seriously.

Life's too short for that. Two, think. Use your brain. You have it for a reason. Number three, cry. Never be afraid to show your tears. You do those three things, you have a great day. You know, I have the best day.

I got number four now. Drop a sex tape in people's face. You do those four things every day. One, laugh. Two, think. Three, cry. Four, sex tape. You squeeze the juice out of life. You squeeze the juice out of life.

I mean, there you have it. Those are just that simple. Wise words from a man who has seen the top of the mountain and the bottom of the valley. He's been in the private jets. He's been in the gutter from the basement to the boardroom. And he's got the four keys to life. You know what's kind of crazy about all this?

And not to make Dave's head blow up even more. But do you know how many couples or just like fuck buddies are going to make a sex tape tonight just because they're like, you think that this brings that conversation to the table? Yeah, that's true. It makes it a relevant conversation. Actually, if you want if you want to take Dave's good fortune here, as we've decided it is and and piggyback on it at all. And you're a you're a guy or a girl who's been looking to do this and maybe has a partner who's a little hesitant, actually, it kind of cuts both ways because that person might say, well,

it just went public, and that's not what we want. But we'll just ignore that part. And if you just say, listen, Dave's doing it. Dave Portnoy does it. Come on. Show your significant other a picture of gross Dave and say, this guy just made a sex tape.

That guy can make it. So can we. Yes. It really is inspirational. I guarantee you that conversation has already happened hundreds of times today. What do you think? How much longer as a society do you think we need to exist before something like this is not a big deal? For instance, this was not a big deal to me. Right. But this is not a big deal. For instance, like... This was not a big deal to me.

Right, but I mean... Like, this was, like, funny. Right, but it's news, and it could be a big deal, and, like, for instance, when... If you saw a girl, like, in a thong, like, 15 years ago, it was a big deal. Now it's like, you know, you're 12 years old, you're putting it on your Instagram.

Now it's on their Instagram, yeah. It's like, no big deal. It's like, that's just my bathing suit, whatever. So there's been, you know, a shift 12 years old. You're putting out on their Instagram. It's like, no big deal. It's like, that's just my bathing suit, whatever. So there's been, you know, a, a shift in the idea of like, what's shocking. Where do we have to get where it's like, like this don't move the needle. It was a big, it was a big deal. Where does it have to get for it to be like, oh, well,

rockets got another one out there. You know? I don't know. I feel like, like I honestly, God, this didn't shock me. Like I saw it might not be the right word. I saw it and I was like, damn, I honestly, God, this didn't shock me. Like I saw it might not be the right word. I saw it and I was like, damn, I wish there was more. I was like, that's it. I was like, is this just like the preview?

Is there, is there a longer video? Like, I feel like that, that was my genuine reaction. I feel like it has to be some like raunchy shit that like you're not doing. Well, so that's when it's like shocking when it's like oh i didn't know that kevin got down like that that's if that's what it has to be where it's like the video itself has to be shocking not the fact that i totally agree that's what i was gonna say like if if you know this is just a few strokes yeah like wrestlers fine wrestlers have like dick pics and like sex tapes leak all the time the only time that there was like legitimate shock was like page was getting like gang banged by two dudes time that there was like legitimate shock was like Paige was getting

like gang banged by two dudes. And then there was another one where she was getting her face. Come on. Like she was, she had like the NXT women's title and just some dude was like coming all over her face and the title. I was like, that's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. Like it needs to be an act that you're like, Whoa, there's some stuff. There's some kinky shit going on. There's other women wrestlers that have had sex tapes leak where it's like, yeah,

whatever. It's like, you know, that's cool's cool yeah i think what the problem is it like if it's just like uh you know in this case gaz was just standing there in the room with the camera it's like not that big of a deal it's when you're if you're getting all in the mix you're getting deep in there you're seeing things and doing things i think that's probably where it gets yeah embarrassing i've been reading a lot of the comments on it, but the best one by far was tough day at the office for Frankie. We got Dominican Dylan on the line on a Friday.

What up, Dylan? How we feeling, man? What is up? Hey, listen, there's no better day to be a dog Friday than today. Yo, I'm telling you, for that to come out, bro, and for those angles, and for that amount of time, you just come out looking perfect. It's fucking crazy.

Stop me off for that shit. Honestly, it's just about as perfect as you can script. If you have to go through this, this is how you want to do it. Bro, you know he was feeling that. After like those 14 seconds, that man collapsed after being in that position. That's what I'm saying. Like, I really think he probably fell off of the bed, hid into the furniture, pulled the blinds down.

The girl started laughing. He went to go, like, pull her hair and came up with a handful of extensions. It all went off the rails. But for that, like, six seconds, everybody looked great. He looked like a mastodon. He looked great. All gravy, man.

You know, after those 14 seconds, that shit collapsed. We all know you're finishing doggies, so after that, that man was done. Yo, so you're 24, right? Yeah. What would you say percentage number of your friends, family, peers, whatever, have have these videos floating around?

It happened to me before once, like senior year of high school. Meaning it went out like it got public. Yeah, yeah. Just school, though. So it wasn't like that big of a deal. I mean, what what what where else could it have gone viral for you? I mean, that's as bad as it gets at that age. True, yeah. But mostly, I'm telling you, I'll say half, probably half, a little bit more

than that. Yeah, I feel like it would probably even be higher. It's just a matter of... It's crazy. The world should just agree. Let's not freak out about it. You know? We all got it, so whatever. It can't be used as a weapon anymore. Like, it's not.

No, but that's the problem, is that it certainly can be. Not in our world. I think for guys, it don't matter. Unless you're looking horrible or something. Well, I think Jared's right. I think it depends on what you're doing. You know what I mean? If you're in a compromising position as a guy, literally and then then you know that's something you don't want out there but if

it's uh but you know yeah if you don't look good the partner doesn't look good if it's an angle or a close-up or uh or you know worst case scenarios dave's dave's a completely single guy no no nothing to worry about you know what i mean you can definitely use this weapon for other people oh yeah for sure and you said if it's like shocking or anything i think it i feel like anything would always be shocking not unless like uh it's like you're seeing someone just like banging it out it's always gonna be like oh shit that's what i mean it's not like when you said it's not a big deal i'm not saying it's it's you know we like the world's gonna change from it but it's a big deal that everyone's going oh shit i have to see that i guess you know yeah that's fair toss it on barstool gold just get the fucking you know the views through the room

this i mean if i know portnoy assuming that this is in fact him in the video uh he should just become a porn star like you know he's got more and there's a there's a dollar to be made. There's merch to be sold. There's subscriptions to sell. He might as well just fucking take control of it. Listen, that's a way to pay off gambling. Oh, wow. You know what?

He's been talking forever about his he's he's down to his last moves. I'm out of moves. I got no no guns in the bullet. Oh, now you do. I mean, he once said he would let Ray J jerk off on him for 500 grand. He did say that. Now it's like, I think we've seen enough interest from this. Didn't he say he would do like a porn for like a million dollars?

How about zero dollars? How's that sound? How about that shit happens for fucking nothing, dude? How about that? How about that? Although, you know what? I saw somebody tweeted out a picture. Somebody tweeted out a picture of the Dave Portnoy Google search term going through the roof.

And that's probably worth more than money to Dave. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, hey, Dave, would you rather be out of gambling debt or see your name be relevant like that? He's taking the fucking graph. For sure. He wants to see the Google graph. I'm surprised he didn't, like, tweet it himself by accident.

Yeah, I mean... I mean, like, Twitter doesn't give a fuck. You can't put that on Instagram. You can tweet whatever you want. You can be a full-blown porn star on Twitter. Whatever. Dale, listen, you have yourself a good weekend, and make sure if you film anything that it stays behind closed doors

unless you look good for about six and a half seconds, and then make sure you get it out there and fire it off. Yeah, then I'll come out on Monday. Have a good one, man. 833-85-STOOL is the phone number. I see those dickfish that washed up on the shore in California. Dickfish? These fish look exactly like fucking dicks, man. And like 70,000 of them washed up on the shore in California? Dick fish? These fish look exactly like fucking dicks, man.

Yeah. And like 70,000 of them washed up on the shore. And I don't know. It's, I mean, that's a dick, dude. That's a dick, yeah. That's a fucking, imagine just a beach covered in those things. Dicks, yeah. Aliens.

You think they're alien dicks? I mean, I just can't see a scenario in which tens of thousands of dicks wash up on the shore without it being an alien thing. Yeah. I i mean what would you do with an alien dick would you study it or just i don't think i'd do anything with an alien dick no i'd sell it you'd sell it to the government well i mean the government apparently they have them like 75 yeah they definitely oh okay so if i have one of those you mean yeah yeah there's definitely like an auction that you could sell it to like a museum would you could sell it to. Like a museum would probably bid on it or something like that.

That belongs in a museum. Yeah. I'd probably just tweet it out. You'd tweet the alien dick. And it gets $100. Look what I found. I mean, I don't think you can get money off these alien dicks. Oh, you could for sure get.

How? Like you just said, 70,000 of them washed up on shore. So then you get all, scoop them all up. Now you have control of the market. Oh, so we want to have control of the market. Oh, so I, so we want to have a alien Dick monopoly. Yes.

And what, what, what do you think the value, like, what do you think the use of these dicks are? I bet you Joe Rogan would pay. You know, it's funny.

I was listening to him. Uh, he was on, it was his show. He was talking to Tim Dillon, a funny comedian here in New York. They were talking about fear factor. And he,

I think he got to season five, and he wanted no more to do with it. And they were asking him to come back, and he was like, how many more fucking animal dicks can people eat? How many more? The show had just ran its course where it got so fucking crazy,

and then they made everyone drink cum. That was the problem. They drank cum. The final straw for Fear Factor was donkey cum. They got canceled because of that? They got canceled. Yeah. It was like the challenge was that you had to drink,

and donkey cum looks like fucking regular cum. So there were these girls and guys just drinking pints of cum. Oh, my God. It's tough like it's there is and it looks like it and it's they're just chugging it down and i think they finally were like uh wait a minute we uh we've gone fully off the fucking rails here there is not a dollar amount on this earth so because then you'd always be like well he said joe rogan said in at you know in his broke days he would have eaten a dick and drank a cum and fought a fucking tarantula. And he said he would have done all the stuff on Fear Factor.

I don't think I could ever. No. I could probably do the pain stuff before I could do the, like, eat the fucking. There were ones where you had to eat, like, a spider live, drink the cum, like, all that stuff. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, there were. mean the numbers gotta be staggering I don't even care like it doesn't matter What the number is like I mean it kind of

Does know what does hundred billion you're gonna Try yes you are donkey Cum or no I'd rather I'd rather drink a little cum than eat like a like a Giant spider You'd rather drink the donkey cum than eat a spider Yeah spider probably tastes like calamari No but the spider was alive.

So what? They were big and they were like... Kill it. They were crunchy and shit. I'd rather just like... Suck down the donkey cum? Just sip it down. I don't know.

I feel like I would probably... It doesn't matter what the dollar number is. If you physically cannot bring yourself to do it... Well, that's the thing. It's one thing to say, I'll try. I'll get in the ring. But can I actually do it? There's nothing worse.

If you're required to drink a pint of Donkey Kong, and then you are like, alright, fuck it, I'll do it. And then you have a couple gulps, and you're like, I can't do it. If I'm doing it, you're doing it. You're finishing it. Regardless, you have zero extra dollars,

and you drink Donkey Kong. Yeah, that's bad. Can't do that. Whatever it is, you gotta funnel it so it's gone, and you get it all in cold your nose if you do half and you're left with nothing but a belly full of half come god 83385 stools the phone number mike from massachusetts was cooking hey what's up boys i'm gonna shout you out kfc you're uh like the best at interacting with fans through twitter

and instagram you're always responsive and at interacting with fans through Twitter and Instagram. You're always responsive. And I appreciate that. Oh man, no problem. Thanks. But if a sex tape comes out, I mean, not being able to see your dick, it's 15 seconds long. You're looking jacked to shit in it. There's no, no better way for a sex tape to be released. I think every guy would agree that I'd, I'd have that leak in a heartbeat. Well, like I said, me personally, in a vacuum, don't care. Me having to answer the phone when my mom calls me and says,

what the fuck is going on? Me having to explain to my children fucking 20 years from now, whatever, worst case scenario, that kind of stuff. Not so great. Now, over under, do you think that his DMS are flooded now by more girls? Oh my God. No doubt. I mean,

don't be so don't be silly, Mike. That is an all time advertisement for, you know, can I be next? No doubt. We're looking up to baby. Yup.

I mean, it's literally, I mean, it's got, it crosses off pretty much a lot of things that girls are looking for. Well, look, we got a call here from a girl. Let's see what she says. Catherine from Boston.

What are your thoughts? Hi, everyone. Hi, Jared. Hey. So I'm the male woman. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. So you definitely have some thoughts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go, Catherine. Listening to you guys, do you not see Gone Wild on Reddit? No. I mean, I know that, but what about it? Right. So, like, that, like, is going to be crazy today because of this. Everyone's going to want to put their own pictures and video out, and that page in itself is crazy.

Yeah, I know. I mean, listen, there are definitely exhibitionists and voyeurs all over the fucking world, no doubt, but there's still a vast majority of people engaging in this stuff that don't want it out there. Or like they kind of do. The reason why you do this shit is because you're a little bit exhibitionist,

but you kind of want it on your terms and you don't want it to be like for the world. Right. Absolutely. So like I have a Reddit account on Gone Wild You want it on your terms and you don't want it to be like for the world. Right. Absolutely. So like I have a Reddit account on Gone Wild and on multiple other subreddits, whatever. Not supposed to. Me and my husband run them. I know.

But we run them together. And it's never my face. Never any tattoo showing that someone could swipe and be like, oh my god, so-and-so has this tattoo. Let me text her and see. Right, right. That awkward... No identifying features. Right, so I mean, like, good on Dave for, like, not having his dick out there, but, like, his face is out there.

Well, but even that is, like, it's the perfect blurriness, you know? Oh, right. Like, it could be that deep face. I mean, we know. It doesn't matter. But it's just, you know, for her, she Like it could be that deep thing. I mean, we know it doesn't matter with him, but it's just, you know,

for her, she's protected. Nothing's too vulgar or, or gross or, or explicit or like, I'm so numb to like porn and like the act of sex that like, that is nothing. Well, that's the thing.

He has to be doing some like raunchy shit to be like, Whoa, everything else is just like, Oh, nice. Yeah. It's like like until you until you start like drowning her like yeah we ain't even turning ahead yeah uh but so the last

question from our caller katherine was do you think other girls are uh are lining up because of this your thoughts my thoughts yeah um yeah i mean if i wasn't married i slide into dave dms and all that but um i'm definitely gonna go back my husband just found an old camcorder oh wow you guys are gonna go like pamela lee and uh pamela anderson tommy lee style like we we did it on our first anniversary he pulled pulled out a camcorder, and we went, like, all out. And then what did you do with it afterwards? Did you watch it back? Oh, we watched it back, and it made us more horny, of course.

And this is before we got into the swinger lifestyle, too, so this should have just been a pre-courser. Yeah, you should have known what was coming at that point, girl. Oh, yeah. But, like, thankfully I found someone as freaky as me. I mean, there's a lid for every pot, and when you find that person. Oh, yeah. But like, thankfully, I found someone as freaky as me. I mean, there's a lid for every pot. And when you find that person. Oh, absolutely.

I mean, I feel like it's not like, what's the word for it? What? When people are picking out like what they want in a spouse, I think like equal sex drive, equal sex, like desires like desires compatibilities most people don't find that out yeah for sure like most people don't find that out until date three or four yeah once they start fucking and i think it needs to be much more like hey before we before we buy a ring before we settle down and do this like you we got to make sure that we're swingers together we gotta make sure we got the camcorder out whatever it may be because when you're incompatible on that level it will just

fester and get worse and worse and worse you got to make that you got to make that a priority yeah so he found that camcorder at his mom's house guess what they were doing well my heart my heart just dropped and i was like oh my god and he like, I tried like pulling in the disc or whatever. And he goes, nothing's on it. I'm like, yeah. Well, listen, let's just make sure if you guys are going to be sharing camcorders or some shit, let's make sure everybody keeps their tapes separate because no, nobody needs to be sharing that. So that's the bad thing is I don't have that video. But we've got plenty of videos and pictures of us anonymously on Gone Wild. Well, keep doing your thing, girl.

Sounds like you two know exactly where it's at. Yeah. And thank you for the cameo. You got it. And make sure you keep delivering that mail. All right, girl? I'll try. I'm almost done.

Day's almost over. See you later. What a world. She's great, by the way. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's... Nobody owns their shit more than Catherine the mailwoman. No. She knows exactly what the fuck she is and what the fuck she isn't. But she's right, though. And you're right to your point about, you know,

if you are sexually compatible, like, obviously, if you're thinking marriage, it's like, is she pretty? Can I bring her home to mom? Does she have a job? Does she have, like, obviously, if you're thinking marriage, it's like, is she pretty? Can I bring her home to mom? Does she have a job? Does she have, like, these motherly instincts? I'm like, how good are you sucking that dick? Are you comfortable with this?

Do you like that? Because I like this. Are you good with doing that? Because if you like this and I'm cool doing that, then, like, that goes so much further. Everything else just falls into place. Everything you just said was so, like, vague but so spot on. You like this? I like that. so much further everything else just falls into place everything you just said was so like vague but so spot on yeah like this i like that you're like this that yeah like the problem is all the first things you mentioned nobody you can't like figure that out like maternal instincts sure maybe you can say like you know what she looks like she'd be great with kids but you don't really know until you have kids and you get thrown to the fire and you figure

it the fuck out yeah i was never like i'm gonna be a good dad and then i just fucking had them and i was like i'm gonna be one i'm gonna do it you know all these things about like how are you gonna what your career is gonna be like and what you're gonna look like and how you're gonna handle this that the other thing you you can't control most of that what you can control is how you suck on that idea right okay because it's like and then and then like that's what people do on a primal level that's like at night when it goes down yeah you're both gonna be happy right and like the rest like you said will fall into place it's not the end all be all but it certainly shouldn't be at the bottom of the of the list where people i i mean i used to do it myself

and we do like these kfc radio hypotheticals and we answer these questions on voicemails and a lot of times people will be like ah the sex is gonna stop anyway so like what's the big deal if it's like compatible or not it's like it's a big fucking deal it doesn't have to have to stop it when you find the person who it clicks it doesn't stop and then you're happy for life if you get your dick wet you're happy right the rest might be like okay maybe she's not the perfect like a career woman or something again doesn't matter when she's on that doorknob, bro. You can't just give up. You can't be like, oh, well, no one else is married and having sex, so I guess

I'm just falling into place. Like, no. Because guess what? There's a reason why there's MILF porn. It's because they like to fuck. Yeah, they just don't like to fuck you. Dude, the giving up is such a good call because, I mean, and you know what?

That's right. I think there needs to be more honesty throughout the relationship world because I remember thinking, like, I'm the only guy who's not getting laid anymore. And then you find out that you're not. But then you come back around and you excuse it because you find out everyone else is. And it's like, no, we're all settling. Yeah. Nobody should be doing this. Everybody should be. Yeah. Nobody should be doing this. Everybody should be doing it.

Nobody should be giving up. Once you find out, oh, he doesn't and she doesn't and they don't, well, I'm not going to either. It's like, no. I couldn't imagine being in that world. Think about how stupid that is. If another couple was not raising their kid well, you'd be like, well, I'm not going to either. It's like, no, you're going to fucking do what you do. Oh, they don't have good jobs. They don't, well, I'm not going to either. It's like, no, you're going to fucking do what you do. Oh, they don't have good jobs. They don't make money.

I'm not going to either. No. Have your own fucking, like, goals and do it. Don't base it on other people. Crazy. And then, I mean, the amount of people I learned, though, who were like, oh, yeah, fucking five times a week. Like, yeah, okay, bro.

Yeah, sure thing. You've been married for a decade. Get the fuck out of here. Three nights a week is perfectly fine. Be a little Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Call it a that. Sure thing. You've been married for a decade. Get the fuck out of here. Three nights a week is perfectly fine. Be a little Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Call it a week. See ya. Yeah, maybe a little morning.

Like a wine night on like a Saturday. Get a little buzz going. Maybe get a little choke in there. A little rear naked choke. A little head in the pillows. Yeah, why not? I'm a fan of the afternoon delight. It's like a little morning session that doesn't even have to get too crazy, but

everybody kind of gets it out of their system. Right, yeah, yeah. It's like, now I have a clear head and I can have a day. If you're asking me to do anything above the norm for like morning, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You want the full package? Like, you want like all like the digital channels and everything?

That's Saturday night after we've had a couple glasses of wine. You want the standard channels? You want like basic cable? 247? Yeah, Sunday morning. You got the old dial? Yeah. You're spinning it? Yeah, that's what you get. A lot of bull. Nat from Staten Island, what's the key? What's the, where does it all start? Hey, it's going

on. My theory, and my wife agrees with this, we've been married for over 15 years, is it all starts with blowjobs. If you're going, if you're getting, if you're getting blowjobs, if the wife or girlfriend is giving blowjobs, everybody's happy. That means that you're, you know, the guy is doing what he should be doing, whether it's, you know, being a husband, housework, making a paycheck, this and that. And if the wife is giving blowjobs, she's happy with all that stuff.

And then, you know, you're into each other. It's all, you know you're into each other it's all yeah i would agree that it's the symbol of uh it's the action of two people who are actually into each other because there's you're not doing that favor unless you're like passionately into it but what you're saying is that she's going to be doing it not because she's like oh my god i just love dicks in my mouth she's doing it because you're a good provider and you're going above and beyond and you're listening and you're doing all the other shit so that she's, like, rewarding you with that? Or you're saying that she's just into sucking your dick? I think, and I don't try and pretend that I know women per se, but I think men and women have different motivations, obviously, for doing what they do. And for men, getting, you know, finishing, coming at some point is just a function for us when all

is said and done and if your wife was significant other is on board with that then she understands that that's what needs to be done and again i don't know if i i don't take it as a reward i take it as you know she wants to do it for me so you're into each other yeah because that's the other thing too is like you know you know when you're getting whatever the act may be you know when someone's basically doing it because they want to and they're doing it because they have to. I don't need your pity either at the same time. I don't need a pity. I don't need you to force it.

That's where you run into trouble too, by the way, where it's like you're on a drought and you know that this is basically just because you have to. It's like never fucking mind. So I think you're right, Matt. I think that it's usually the first thing to go when it starts to go south, and so that if you can keep it going, you're never going to... It's like keeping the balloon up in the air. As long as you get in your dick, suck the balloons in the air.

Sure. Keep it up. I feel like that's... We've talked about this, Dick, from a long time ago when we first got together, and it was always a joke. She said, what are we going to be doing this when we're 40 and 50 years old? And yes, apparently. Good for you. Things continue to go that way.

All girls out there should aspire to be a 50-year-old chick blowing dudes. Because that means life's going good. Good for you. It sounds like you've got a happy marriage going out there on the island. Good for you, Matt. I got a weird take. Maybe you have something to add to this, Kevin, being someone that did dabble in marriage before. I appreciate it. You got a happy marriage going out there on the island. Good for you, Matt. I got a weird take. Thank you very much. Maybe you have something to add to this, Kevin,

being someone that did dabble in marriage before. When did you get married? 32, 31? It was 2014, so 30. Was that 30? 30, 29? Right now. Yikes.

Yikes. I feel like Dave is almost laying the blueprint for, for like what to do. Just like, go have your phone. Like you can still be like 41 for like, no one looks at Dave's like, Oh,

too old. Gross. Like, like there's, there's dudes that are like older and have money where it's like, you're clearly doing that for the money versus like Dave, like still looks good for his age. But Dave was married before.

You're saying don't get married. Yeah, but I mean he's not now. Okay, I thought you meant do everything Dave did. Stay single through 42. Yeah. Yeah, man. The more I look at Dave, the club stuff, that's too much for me. When I see him in the club, I'm like, Dave, let's reel it in.

Let's not do that. Well, the problem is club Dave's back because his gambling day is gone. He trades one vice for the other. Right, right, right, right in. Well, that's the problem is club Dave's back because gambling Dave's gone. He trades one vice for the other. Right, right, right, right, right. So that's the problem there. So I would stay from the clubs, but I think he's almost laying the Derek Jeter blueprint of Barstool. Well, the problem is

Barstool exists in a weird, maybe not so much now, but like when I was coming up, I was like, I'm going to be normal yeah i'm i i am going to live a normal life and i don't think i should have done that and i think dave is doing he's like i'm not normal you know it's it's like a a fraction of like the athlete life or it's like you have a little bit it's it's i was like i'm gonna get married at the right time have kids at

the normal time because i'm just a blogger and i'm gonna do things the normal way and i never thought it was gonna be any of this shit and i think it probably would have been a little smarter to be just a little more honest about the dynamic of work and relationship and shit and i think he's you know yeah he's doing it right now yeah it's the derogator blueprint but like, but no one had the ability. Yeah, we couldn't have seen that far down the line. Well, the first ones. Right. Really. We're the first ones, and he's also the oldest one.

Right. But he's also laying the blueprint if you get filthy fucking rich. Yeah. It's different if you don't have that kind of money. I don't know if it's entirely money as it is just like... Lifestyle. Yeah. I don't think you need to be like at some sort of like multimillionaire to,

to live that sort of life. No, but I mean, it helps to have a fucking Nantucket house. No, it does. No doubt. No doubt. No doubt.

But like there, I mean, it's more just about like, I don't know. I just feel like he, he's doing it right. Where you need to, uh,

the, the, the way the problem comes in is if you do intend to settle down yeah what do you do then because then i don't think there's any shame in that like so he's like what 42 43 i think so it's so funny because i've been making fun of his age for so long i don't know what it is yeah like you're almost 50 i think he's like 42 yeah i think he's like 42 or 43 and like that seems like a lot of the people that have had successful marriages are like dude

wait until like 35 plus wait until like you're four like he's in the right age range so then you want to do like you want to be like 42 and marry what like a 27 year old 25 26 yeah it gets dicey it gets dicey there if you do want to settle down i think that's where this is where like 40 and 30 i believe firmly that you can't always have your cake and eat it too. So if you want to do the bachelor thing to 50, then what are you going to – then if you do get married to someone and you're talking biological clocks, then all of a sudden you're married to someone who's like 20 years younger than you, then you're kind of the weirdo. Right.

But who cares if you have money? And that that's like you're just mad the bigger the bigger point is that you if you if you have the money you've won at life you're successful you're your own boss all that shit who gives a fuck about like age norms right you think i'm weird because i married someone this many years younger fuck off off. Go back to your shitty life. I don't want to make it until 50, but I think being 30 now and I mean... 40 is the new 30.

Yeah. Think of it that way. I think 40, like right around there is like the... And I think if you could get, if you can quote unquote settle down or marry or whatever when you're still in your 30s, even if it's like late 30s. If you're like 39 and you're marrying someone in their 20s that's not bad it's not bad that that three handle is there yeah if you're in the three handle 30 well she's in the two handle yeah and then when you're in the fours she's in the threes you're good it's the problem the problem

is if you're doing like four and two or five and two then that gets weird that's gonna be me i'm gonna be like 40 and like i'll be marrying someone that's like 27 but then again also it's like who that's fucking cares like think about like i mean there's some if i if i found someone right now that was 15 years younger than me how old would that be no it's too young if i found someone that was like 10 years younger than me yeah it would probably be weird if i was dating like a 25 year old yeah but then but when you're 55 and 45 65 and 50, it's like, Kevin,

don't take that off the table. I don't think that's weird at all. But even if, even if you or other people did think it was weird, if it was just, I just don't, I don't think it's weird at this point, man,

I tried to do it one way, failed miserably. I'm gonna try to do it this way. I'll probably fail miserably. That I don't fucking care anymore. You know, the norms and the standards and what's normal is constantly changing. You know what? If, if you, if other people shun you in your life because they think that it's weird you can

be friends with me when i'm 40 my 25 year old i'm just you're getting cut out yeah you think i'm weird i'm cutting you out yeah we'll just double date all the time they can they can talk about all like the new like toys that they got whatever they have toys toys they're fucking jesus christ they're talking about their fucking their math test jared digital gadgets what do they got. TikTok, whatever. Toys! Toys! Jesus Christ. They're talking about their fucking math test, Jared? Digital gadgets that they got. What do they got on their SATs? Yeah, they can talk about their five-year college reunion that they got coming up. Oh, we're going to do this dog thing for the rest of our lives, aren't we?

Forever. Final break of the day coming up. We'll be back on Clancy and Karabas, CCK Powered 5. Coming back with a little music there for you. Just a random selection. Just happened to pop up on Shuffle. It's a good tune. Just a great song. Also, just a up on Shuffle. It's a good tune. Just a great song. Also, just a random quote I decided to read right here.

This is from March 12th, 2019. Dave Portnoy on Barstool Radio said, If someone offered me to do a sex tape for a million dollars cash, I'd do it. I'm already one of the worst people on the internet. It's not going to be long. It's not going to be a long porn. These guys, these porn guys, they fuck for an hour. Dave Portnoy doesn't have that in his

golf bag. A little Nostrad fuck for an hour. Dave Portnoy doesn't have that in his golf bag. Little Nostradamus for you there. Not only did he end up doing it, didn't do it for a million. Like you said, did it for zero. And it certainly wasn't long. That was also like an inside joke with Barstool readers way back in the day when he was worth like a million internet dollars.

Like his net worth. He was actually a poor person. And now it's many, many million more literal actual dollars. No, he's got he was actually a poor person and now it's um many many million more literal actual dollars no he's got real he's got real millions now easy yeah it's gonna be now i have much more when it uh when it sells he's gonna be like a legit rich person what do you think his net worth is gonna be post second sale like 30 yeah 30 yeah i mean that's a lot of money yeah 30 million dollars yeah for like a non-athlete or like entertainer yeah like how else can you make money how else can you make 30 million dollars

it's got to be like the obvious sports entertainment or like crazy finance type of like you know like hedge fund type shit right yeah like how else do you make that money lottery come into it yeah yeah like on your other than professions yeah it's it's like doctors don't even make that i don't know if you can make like tens of millions you know maybe like the best surgeon but i even think the way like insurance works and shit now i don't think it's worth it to be a doctor uh maybe like you know the best best best best lawyer but but 30 you know who you know who could do that like in probably 10 years from now those fucking esports guys.

Yeah, esports are probably already doing it, to be honest. Esports, and we're probably going to find out some TikTok kid is worth like 15 mil. I don't even want to talk about that. Fucking bullshit. People crying over meeting TikTokers that have been famous for fucking a week and a half. I want to knock those kids' backs off.

I just want a fucking haymaker. Pow! 35-year-old man assaults a 12-year-old because he got more followers on the internet. Bam. Just knee him in the face. Fuck you. Fuck TikTok. Chad from Albany is on the line. He's got some advice for us.

What do you got, Chad? Hey, how are you guys? I just wanted to let you know I married a girl that was 12 years younger than me, and we got married about 10 years ago. And the key is, I'm 46, and she's 34 right now. And if I could go back, the key is that you have to find a young girl that already has a kid, because if you don't, that biological clock starts ticking, and then they want to have your kid. What we really need to do.

And that's something you really got to think about once science can crack truly crack the biological clock yeah the world's going to be fucking great i didn't realize it's going to be gravy by the age of 30 thanks for the advice 90 of a woman's eggs are just done you're just saying that because that taylor swift fucking tweet the other day i know i don't know if that's true by the way. You're just saying that because of that Taylor Swift fucking tweet the other day. I know. I don't know if that's true, by the way. Okay.

I mean, that's where I saw it, and I was like, what the fuck? That guy, what a fucking creepy tweet that was. It was very creepy. That guy looked like a Bond villain, too. He looks like super fucking creepy. So we don't know if that's true? I don't know if that's true. I do know that, yes, when you get older, that the eggs become a problem.

But that is the problem. And if that can stop, if you could just tell girls like 40 45 whatever you're good to go like everyone's always like well people are gonna live they say someone right now is gonna live to like 150 and why would you and 40 is the new 30 and all that shit is true except for the whole idea of when you can have kids and that has not changed if you can change that shit everybody would be happy because nobody would be rushing anymore girls wouldn't feel pressure when they're in their late 20s guys wouldn't be stuck having kids too early it would be everyone on the same page why would you want to live till 150 well like your body that's the problem 120 probably starts decaying. You're just a walking corpse.

If you start to break down at age 50 now, let's say, and then 50 to 120 sucks? No way. But if you start to break down at 85 instead, then I get it. You just have a longer life. But to be honest, even

that sounds like enough's enough. The aging process i mean we gotta figure it out like i would like to stay what i am right now for like just lock in yeah just just freeze me at 30 what age would you want to stay at right now this one um yeah yeah because i feel like like i was obviously in way better shape when i was like 24 25 but like if you look a little bit younger like i'm in like the wheelhouse of where like you're you're still young enough to where you can go younger but then also like the the little bit older crowd like it's it's a perfect wheelhouse for me i'd rather

were you um like i was thinking i would stay at like 26 because i was kind of just like oblivious like i wasn't worried about what i look like i wasn't really worried about like where i'm gonna end up professionally i was just like happy i just had friends family and i was just like i'm good no because i was worried about that back then did you go in the opposite way yeah like i i got like i used to i never worry i mean maybe just because we're on camera or we got like exposure here but i was like i never used to worry about what i look like, what I was wearing, like where I was going, status and shit like that. And I don't put much stock in that.

But I used to not even be like, I was just like, whatever. You're cool. You're a good person. I'm down with you. Like, you know, there was not a care in the world in that department. And then I think as I got a little bit older, I became like a little more bitter and jaded towards it or a little more, you know, whatever. if i could capture a time where i wasn't like that i think i'd be happy forever yeah that's me now like i'm like 30 is my yeah like i'm comfortable with

everything and yeah i feel like it's a it's a solid age or i maybe would just go back to like little league days yeah freeze me then just stay at the age of like 12, 13, just hitting bombs, riding bikes, playing video games and cracking stick. Yeah. When you literally didn't have a care in the fucking world. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't know. I was a fucking, I was always worried about the future even back then.

When did you, when did you stop worrying about the future? Probably like last March when i got my fucking new contract i was like all right it takes a long time yeah we don't have to like struggle we're good like you know this is still like fret about stuff and then sometimes i take a step back and i'm like the fuck am i doing i'm good yeah with that with that last deal it was like this is a reflection of how we value you this is like you're good and and like just life-wise you know you're living on your own to that i'm just like that's my problem is if more comes great if it doesn't i'm comfortable and that's all i could ever ask like back back when like you're in high

school and middle school it's like what am i going to be when you grow up and like you're in school and they're like well you we're going to teach you 50 million different things because we want you to be well-rounded guess what the? The only other thing I ever needed was fucking baseball. That was all I ever needed. Okay. Like maybe a little bit of grammar, which I didn't even learn until after high school. After high school. When I wrote my book, I went back, my junior year English teacher was the editor and I sent it to her and I thought she was just going to edit it and send it back. She was like, no, she printed it off all 426 pages. She did 20 pages at a time, corrected it in red pen and sat next to me once a week and

went over every mistake that I made. And that's how I learned grammar. I learned it after high school. Did you get a recut of that book, bro? Huh? Did you get a recut of that book? Jesus. I mean, I should have.

Fucking should have back then. But yeah, no, I think right now is like the most comfortable that I've ever been. I mean, that's great to hear. Yeah. That's a good spot to be. Yeah. I'm not,

I'm not like, I just never, uh, am like, I need a little bit of complacency in my life. I think I'm just always like, all right, what's next?

More and more and more. I know, but it also can be like, if it comes at the cost of not acknowledging that like hey done some pretty good things yeah like you know you're you're comfortable and you're set and i don't think like i don't look at comfortable as being complacent so like right now like i'm still like work-wise we're doing more like i'm doing more now than i've ever done professionally in my life which i think is almost how every year should be. Yeah. Like,

I don't look as like comfortable as complacent because complacent would be like, ah, no, I don't have to do that. Like, we're good. We're good.

Why, why go, why go to Puerto Rico? We're good, dude. Like, no, like let's fucking like,

it's the off season. Like, let's go to San Diego. Let's go to LA. Let's go to Puerto Rico. Let's do all this shit. Let's go to fucking Nebraska. Like,

that's what we're doing now is like, all right, we got paid X. Let's go justify that and blow that out of the water so that that looks like a bad deal. But it's not about we need more money. It's more just like I have like I worked. I worked towards getting here for literally my entire adult life since I was 16. Like, this is what I work for.

And now I'm here. But I think you can be comfortable but not satisfied i mean that's the sweet spot to be in because if comfortability breeds complacency then you become a fucking bum about it but i think it's good to kind of acknowledge where you've made it to my comfort is not in like my body of work my comfort is in like i don't if if if we get paid like a day or too late like i'm not gonna notice like yeah i don't have to worry about bills i don't have to worry about like am i gonna eat this week i gotta have to worry about that which allows you to work even harder if like you're not stressed about other things it's like all right so i'm gonna stress about like which project are

we taking on next like where are we fucking flying right who are you gonna connect it's like a stress of excess you know it's not like it allows me to reallocate my stresses i i mean i reached a point so i got like completely wiped out after the divorce but was still like not worried about things and there was one basically one paycheck where i got my final legal bill had to pay uh like paid kept the kids afloat everything was good and i was like all right i just need to make it to this one paycheck and then i can like start to rebuild and i got hit with like a bunch of auto pays and i was out i had no money and i was like how did this happen because i you know not the money is the end all be all but it was like i had been alive for 34 years i've been working for you know 15

18 20 of them and it all reset like zeroed out and i was like i had almost timed it perfectly where there was never going to be a period like that but for like one week it was just gone nothing and i was like holy fucking shit like had a breakdown. And then it just, it was just like a liquidity thing. Like, you know, like the, the,

the paychecks started coming in and the bills like kind of receded. But that feeling for a split second of like, wait a minute. What? Yeah. After all that work and all that shit is, it's a harrowing, harrowing moment.

It's like the fucking, uh, Walter White in the crawl space moment. Maniacally laughing. Just like, yeah, this is funny like didn't know what the fuck to do but uh i mean it's it's not like the the barometer of everything but you know i i aspire to like i've always said i want to have you know my lake winnipusaki house yeah like i want to have one extra house where like i'm good my winnipeg or my nantucket and it's a you know a long way to get to that especially when you get like the major major setback so i think until i have one of those like more tangible results uh

i'll be like i'm good right hard right now and be like you know set when it was such a major set back there Taylor from Fort Lauderdale Taylor what do you got on uh being the weird old guy Taylor nope we lost him uh we got Doug from Wisconsin what's up Doug hey so you guys were talking about eggs and like the ideal age is like 30. So basically like I got, so I had to go to an appointment with my wife. And basically, so the ideal age for you to actually like as a female have your eggs fertilized is when you're like 34 to 36. And like the thing is we're like in the bit, we're about to think about procuring a human. So like I had to figure this out kind of the hard way.

So, trust me, 34 to 36, you're fucking golden to have a kid still. Yeah, I mean, who knows what age is what's good and what's not. I'm just looking. Somebody just sent me a link. Dave Portnoy on Pornhub with cat-like reflexes. It's just a video of him at his pizza review where he drops a slice and grabs it, and he just hypes himself up talking about his cat-like reflexes. It's just a video of him at his pizza review where he drops a slice and grabs it, and he just hypes himself up talking about his cat-like reflexes. It's just on Pornhub. He's a porn star.

He's a porn star. When you're on the internet, you're popular, and then you're on Pornhub. XYZ, add it all up, porn star. There's got to be offers now coming in from actual ports. There was one from like a lower tier one. But now the big players might be coming out saying, hey, you know what?

That's kind of when you've made it slash when you're like a bum all at the same time. Yeah. Like usually it's when usually they give those offers to someone who's like down and out sort of thing. But it's also when you're in the news enough that people know it's a big deal. Like China. R.I.P. R.I.P. and peace to China. I mean, what's your number? To do a porn?

Fucking like, I don't know, 15 bucks? We've talked about how you don't mind it being out there, but we're not talking about your embarrassment level. I'm talking about what do you think you're worth? Your value. Your Scott Boris porn value. But we're not talking about your embarrassment level. I'm talking about what do you think you're worth. Oh. Like your value.

Your Scott Boris porn value. Pornhub comes and says, I'll give you $100,000 to do a porn. Are you saying yes? I can't be worth. I'm literally worth like $150. I mean. Like whatever cameo is. That's what my porn is worth.

Maybe 2X. Like if my cameo, if to get my cameo is 20, then, like, it's 40 bucks to see my dick. Yo, you should just start a cameo porn career, bro. Maybe. Just be like, 20 bucks. I don't know if that's, I don't know if cameo allows that, but I feel like we could probably, like, make up a platform. I'm sure there's some people using that. Just like, you just pay me 40 bucks and i send you a video me jerking off it was just called the rocket.com log in to see the rock i'll just give you my number like

i'll tell you like you venmo me 40 bucks and i'll text you a video me jerking off it's basically like it's my dating life a little bit of money you know we flirt and uh i'll send you my dick for like 10 bucks yeah might as well no big deal what's on top of the tap for the rocket this weekend i don't know i feel like uh i feel tap for the rocket this weekend? I don't know. I feel like I got to chill this weekend. Yeah? Yeah. I need my unplugged time. We just did a whole week in San Diego for the winter meetings.

Super busy, but super productive, which is good. What are you going to do with the Red Sox? I mean, you can just fast forward to next season, following season. Sure. Because next one, just useless. Yeah, it is useless. Just put Mookie in Queens. Let's cut to the chase. Yep. And then one for the useless. Yeah, it is useless. Just put Mookie in Queens. Let's cut to the chase.

Yep. And then one for the Rockets. Yeah. It is kind of crazy because the Red Sox have one of the best young cores in baseball. But they're just like, yeah, we got to cut costs and sign fucking shitty pitchers. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, I'm just going to trust the process. But Ricky Tufreds in Queens for a cool $10 million. Cool $10. But Ricky two Freds in Queens for a cool 10 million. Cool 10. I know it's only a one-year deal, but 10 milli for Alfred is something. Ricky Raindrops. I like him. Yeah. Pretty Ricky.

He's okay in my book. Hoochies and Boss, they're very sad. Yeah, I'm sure. He's done. Does he do like Barstool stuff? He did section 10 in spring training. Yeah. Yep.

Him and Michael Waka. Yeah. He walks a lot of batters. He sure does. he do like barstool stuff uh he did section 10 in spring training yeah yep him and michael waka yeah he walks a lot of batters yeah he sure does uh i would be excited about porcel i mean like did you see this i mean he's gotta go since he came to the red sox no one has made more starts on rick porcel well might not be great but he'll be there i know and there's this idea of eating being an innings eater and it's, but if your innings are bad. I can go after a couple innings too. He's an every other year guy. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like, this has to be an option.

It has to be. It will be. My problem is if it comes at the cost of like another starter. If it's like, well, we've got Rick Porcello and Michael Waka now, so we can move, you know, Noah Syndergaard. It's like, that's not really equal value. No, but I mean, I don't think that you're expecting to like win the division next year. Are you?

Oh, no, no. Hey, listen, I'm not expecting anything until it can happen. Once Steve takes over, then we start the clock. Right. Right now is you're on borrowed time, man. The Red Sox right now are just kind of their existing. I don't know. They're not.

They're not rebuilding. They're not. It's the worst spot to be. They're not blowing it up, but they're not going for it. Terrible. They're just kind of their mediocrity yeah nobody wants that but on the other hand like i think everyone's kind of looking at last year third place and it's like well if they're not getting better than they're getting worse and it's like well that third place finish last year

like should have been close to a first place finish last year like that team was good enough to win the world series again they just fucking didn didn't do it. Well, I mean, you can say that, but yeah, over the course of 162, I know, but same team that won 119 games, you bring it back.

You don't have a lot of literally just didn't have Craig Kimbrell and Joe Kelly. That's it. That's not enough to go from fucking best team on planet earth to third place. It's tough when what's his face gets the boot because of that. It's like guys,

you know, who are Dabrowski? Yeah. I mean, I don't think that's why they fired him. No. Okay. I mean,

it's like I put together a great team. They just all decided to like, yeah, regress and stink at the same time. And injuries. Yeah, it is what it is. I think the Red Sox will be at least watchable.

Take a couple more calls here before we wrap up. Susan, Susan's gone. Susan was going to talk about pizza reviews. I guess as we have a couple more minutes here, I'd be remiss if I didn't just think about where we came from to where we are now. I mean, the transformation of Barstool is crazy. The transformation of Dave Port the man is crazy. It is crazy.

Videos can come out of him, compromising positions, intimate details, quotes, appearances, ups, downs, highs, lows, doesn't matter like could you imagine if like a sex tape of like the the the owner and founder of cbs sports just pounding some chick from behind and it's just like oh we're gonna that that's just like ah another day at work it's just not another day that's what's funny is i mean the place here was buzzing but for the most part it was kind of just like yeah you know like the shoe fits like yeah it's not surprising no no you know i feel like almost anybody else here the like the the public hubbub would have been a lot higher who do you think like would it actually have shocked you if a tape came out here let's stick to guys for the sake of you know safety here yeah shocked like i can't believe they get down like that or just like

both i mean like if i saw a nate sex tape of him froggy style that chick would be the least he's next after dave are you kidding me yes if nate if a nate sex tape came out that would surprise me none like if i woke up if i woke up this morning into a text message of did you see the sex tape of your co-worker i'd be like, Nate, how about Brandon Walker? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Who, I mean, made the unbelievable decision to bring his wife to the office for the first time today. Talk about bad timing. Oh, she came by to just kind of get the lay of the land. He probably thought Friday, everyone's out. I'm just going to show you around. Oh yeah. By the way, we are the home of a new sex scandal.

Yeah. We are at the, uh, the core of the sex tape world today. How about Steve Chay? I bet you Steve Chay throws down. You think he's getting the camcorder rolling? For sure. I mean, that's his life is looking at film. He's got it all 22.

Yeah, he's got the teleprompter out. He makes sex tapes to break down his own sexual performance. Play-by-play-by-chay. Yeah, it's not down his own sexual performance. It's not like a play by play by Jay. Yeah, it's not like a horny thing. It's like, let's see how I did. How can we get better for week three? Oh, man. You know, I got one out there.

Large. Large probably has one from like the olden days. Yeah. Him and St. Ann with like them, like big crank quarter with the fucking like the fireworks that go up. Well, shout out to everybody out there who's going to get down and make their own pizza review this weekend. Give yourself a good score.

Rate that pizza. Get some New York flop in. Send them in. We'll review them on CCK on Monday. Keep it going froggy style. Stay hot. Hey, hey. I'm out. you