KFC Radio - CCK Podcast: The Oceans Have Walls

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

The Nationals win the World Series, Deadspin slowly dies, Answer The Internet takes the world by storm, and Marty Mush tries to figure out how water stays in the ocean and doesn't go on the landYou ca...n find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Oh. Kevin. You're just ridiculously stupid. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Is this Kevin? Welcome back, welcome back. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Is this Kevin? Welcome back. Oh, yeah, man, how you doing? You good? I know you like that. I know you like that. How long you been back, man? Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Starting point is 00:00:39 See the girls in the club, they're getting wild for me. CCK on a Tuesday. We just wrapped up another game with ATI. I don't know if I can ever play that game again after my debut. I peaked. I got the first point of Answer the Internet ever.
Starting point is 00:00:56 I don't think I can ever play it again. Well, ATI is out. Answer the Internet, the card game, is here. We've had a big launch night and launch day, so we were just streaming over on Twitch. They're actually still playing it right now, so make sure you listen to us. But if you want to go pop on Twitch and watch as you listen, Ellie ended up peeling a banana with her feet within three questions.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I thought she doesn't show her feet. She didn't show it. We saw it, but she made sure that the stream did not show it. Because she's very particular about that. Oh, yeah. She's building up a value, yeah. Even in her selfies and stuff. She told me she has $120 in her bank account. It's time. She put up a Venmo request to give me a shot on my birthday last week, and they were just cha-chinging in.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Flooding. Can you imagine what she would get if she put her feet up? She blows through that money, though. She got over $500 on the live stream that we did for the, what was that, ALCS game three or four, whatever it was. She got over $500 on the live stream that we did for the ALCS game 3 or 4, whatever it was. She made over $500. She has to pay rent and stuff. She gets a paycheck from Barstool Sports.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Any money I got from the internet like that, I would consider fun money. I'd be like, I earned this in a ridiculous way. I'm going to spend it at the bar. But you know what she needs to do? She needs to have an Instagram that's just feet pics. And then you have your Venmo or whatever in the bio. Kevin, I said I would do it if you would be my foot pimp. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I need pictures. Okay. Give me the pictures and I'll work with this. Yeah. The only thing is the wiki feet already has all the pictures. That's why you guys started making the exclusives. Ellie always blurs her feet out and all the Instagram she's really thought about this she's a businesswoman yeah if she peeled a banana with her feet did it look good doing it it was just much easier than you than you think no way she just put it
Starting point is 00:02:40 like in between her big toe in her middle and her second toe and held it and then just grabbed it with her other toes. That's the beauty of Answer the Internet. How the hell did that even come up? The question was, if you had to pick one food for your girlfriend to chew up and spit into your mouth to eat for dinner, what would you do? And next thing you know, peeling bananas with our feet. That's why Answer the Internet is wild. Think about this. If you're at a pregame, you're in college, you're hanging yeah we're yeah drinks to the mix forget it but like you know you're you're hanging out and you're
Starting point is 00:03:08 sitting across from like the girl you got a crush on or something like that and these are the kind of questions that start flowing and next thing you know she's peeling things with her feet and pretty much next thing you know you're inside her yeah you know that's definitely something that's gonna happen like it's like playing never have i ever and truth and dare and next thing you know everyone's fucking each other that's what i. Never have I ever back in the day was always what started it. Now it's even crazier. Now it's this. I saw the clip that you put out yesterday of Frankie's answer
Starting point is 00:03:31 when we played last week or whenever that was we played. I remembered in the moment how ridiculous it was, re-watching it and watching your face. Did I tell this on the air here? I don't remember. It is. Frankie's answer? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:43 So we did the question, would your mom or your daughter be a porn star? And Frankie gets very graphic with it. All the time. Frankie is very graphic. Frankie could be the third co-host on KFC Radio. He lets it fly. We did talk about this because I said, Jared wasn't here, so you have
Starting point is 00:04:00 to retell the story, but you said that these answers don't even surprise you anymore. I'm used to it. But Kevin, you were surprised. I went back and watched that video you were shocked he said you know well i don't want my mom taking a load in her asshole i was like whoa frankie so i had sent that to our alex our merch person and she was like uh could we get like a little bit more of a tame one to put out it's very tough to uh you know we're working with walmart and amazon it's like they want it to be edgy but we can't be talking like that yeah i didn't think about that that whole like thing that we shot there's no way that walmart puts any of that out not that but there are plenty of
Starting point is 00:04:32 questions like so we yesterday we did it with ret and link these are their youtube guys who are awesome by the way this duo they they met in first grade they went to college together and now they own like a media company together. They were awesome. And they were like, not clean. Like they still were like normal guys, but they weren't like ridiculous and like assholes like me and John are. They were just great guys. So we gave them like more normal questions. There's plenty of normal shit to answer too.
Starting point is 00:04:57 You can have very funny and like creative answers that aren't like, would you fuck this or fuck that? So the game is out. It's off and running. I think we've sold over a thousand boxes already so um it's i think it's gonna be a big one i think we're talking like it's you know got its own i think it's gonna be like its own company to be honest it's huge games like other expansion packs and apps and all sorts of shit coming so um it's here finally we've had this in the works for so long you know i get so
Starting point is 00:05:25 antsy when we put out stuff like i'm waiting for usually it's with clothing and i'm always like so gassed up to put it out and like the clothes that we do it like it takes like four to six weeks to ship and then we gotta get it and sample it oh this was wrong send it back fix it another four weeks and i'm always just like i just want to put it out i just want to put it out and people are always asking when is it when is it what is it so i'm always like on edge waiting and waiting and this was like even longer than that this was like a year in the making so really yeah it was i mean not a year but many many months to like figure out the gameplay figure out who would design it ship it over you know it's it's a whole other game when you're talking like clothing is
Starting point is 00:06:01 one thing but like these were shipped overseas and you know it's it's a whole different ball game you're not gonna know truly the impact that this game is one thing but like these were shipped overseas and you know it's a whole different ballgame you're not gonna know truly the impact that this game is gonna have until like around Thanksgiving I know Black Friday is yeah no no I'm not even saying Black Friday like when when friends giving and Thanksgiving like those two nights it's like alright
Starting point is 00:06:17 so everyone gets together with their friends the night before they'll play it and then to spice up Thanksgiving and you'll bring it in the mix with your grandma and your aunties and all those drunk uncle and all that shit christmas too same thing underneath the tree stocking stuff where you start asking questions i think it's it's gonna be a very fun thing for the families that are everyone's grown like it's not like a kid's christmas thing but you know you're sitting around if you know you're one of those families mom dad brothers just they're all cool with each other and like you can let it fly it'd be a very fun
Starting point is 00:06:44 christmas morning type of thing. Oh, yeah. I also, at Barstool, we get, or maybe it's just me, but I get so conditioned. I hold myself to, like, such a high standard that, like, I feel like things have to sell out right away. Yeah. You know, and, like, we put, we sold out our Philly show
Starting point is 00:07:01 in, like, a day and a half, and I was mad that it was, like, that extra half. I wanted it to be 24 hours, you know?'s like most people like they sell tickets up until like the night of the show and if it's a sellout like that's all that matters I want it to be a sellout like right away you know and so I'm thinking about all these like all the boxes we ordered and how many we've sold and I'm like we need more we need more but we haven't even hit like Black Friday like that's what that's what everything sells you know so it's the perfect gift I'm hoping it's gonna be games it doesn't matter if like when you're a kid all the way up to like
Starting point is 00:07:27 now it's like you always want to play games it keeps everybody interested that's why i like card games when you're drinking are always popular or whatever this is that drunk sober we played it at the bar last night right at midnight oh yeah my sister tried to buy a box and john was like you can just get one so then the problem was that she was like oh then i'd love the viva hoodie and like she like started asking for all these things and i was like i you can just get one. So then the problem was that she was like, oh, then I'd love the Viva hoodie. And like, she like started asking for all these things. And I was like, I think I know somebody that can give you that stuff. But she was like right at midnight going to go buy it. Playing it drunk has to be an entirely different experience.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I mean, forget it. Once your inhibitions are lowered or you say stuff like you let it fly. Whoops. You ever play Game of Things? No. What's that? So I don't know. It's like you basically have like it's and whoops. You ever play Game of Things? No, what's that? So I don't know. It's like you basically have like, it's the same idea.
Starting point is 00:08:09 And you get like a card and it's like things that you wouldn't say to your mom. And then everyone is like sitting and you all have like a piece of paper and everyone writes something. And then you put it in the middle and then you guess who said what. Got it. Cool. Very cool. But some people put boring stuff. Some people put super fucked up stuff yeah yeah yeah like that's what you said like we were like but we would play sober and then like if we would get hammered like the answer very different
Starting point is 00:08:35 yes very different game yeah booze is the best yeah it really is yeah as we're watching mantis just get lit up with nerf right now I mean this place never changes speaking of games, Game of Thrones the writers from Game of Thrones I want an apology I want everyone who listened to Game of Stools to call up and apologize to me personally because the Game of Thrones guys
Starting point is 00:08:59 have been in the news this week two major bombshells the first one, they were at like some panel i believe and flat out said they were in over their heads with game of thrones just straight up admitted they were just like like no shit dudes but like in in such a weird way not like um not like you know like specific to game of thrones it sounded like they were just like yeah we didn't really know how to make a fantasy epic. Well, then why the fuck are you doing Game of Thrones?
Starting point is 00:09:28 It's almost like... These are the writers of the show? They were great at adapting the books. They were there from the beginning, and seasons one through four are some of the best TV ever because they had George R.R. Martin's books, and they were just turning it into a TV show. Once they went off the books, and they basically needed to write
Starting point is 00:09:44 their own show, which I understand very difficult I'm I'm not saying I could do it either but I also wouldn't be on board if I didn't know how to they were just like yeah we didn't know let me get the exact some of the quotes were borderline like disrespectful do you think that they knew at the time or do you think they figured it out along the way because I can't I would have such a hard time believing that if you just knew you weren't going to do a good job that you would still do it i actually like them more because of that because i think that's what happened and i think it's just like mail time i think they were offered this one way or the other like somehow hbo george rr martin thought they were the guys and they were like imagine if me and you like there's guys buddies you know imagine if it was just like, can you believe HBO's gonna let us do this?
Starting point is 00:10:25 And we're just like, you know, are we good at this? No. Are we gonna turn it down? No. If someone gave you a job right now to be a GM of baseball, you'd take the reins, and if you fucked up, you'd be like, guys, why the fuck was I even here in the first place? Do we know how much money they made?
Starting point is 00:10:40 I know their Netflix money after that is nine figures or yeah uh is it i thought i read nine that would be a hundred it's got to be eight right it's got to be tens of millions it can't be a hundred nine but i don't know like chapelle and them got like 60 so if these guys signed on and like the two of them together too like you you put their salaries together right right wasn't the author of the books like spiteful towards like the people that were doing the shows he's never been like outwardly like fuck these guys but he definitely has said like the tv show like hindered my ability to write and like they did some things that i wouldn't have done which i think was the polite
Starting point is 00:11:20 frontward facing comments i'm sure behind the scenes he's like fuck these guys and he also during the last season during was blogging about the NFL not about the last season like he on his own but I kind of like that too I'm a Jets fan and like yeah but I just think it's very funny he was like I'd rather talk about Daniel Jones going to the Giants or whatever
Starting point is 00:11:40 he was blogging about than the actual biggest season of his creation of all time that would piss me off so much though. If I started writing books and then someone started a TV show adaptation of my books and then they got out in front, I was like, dude, I'm the one...
Starting point is 00:11:55 Well, that's his fault for not finishing them. I know, but at the same time... What was HBO supposed to do? I mean, don't start a fucking TV show on a book series that isn't done yet. Well, he takes like 10 years between books. Yeah. So if you know that, then like wait to start the show.
Starting point is 00:12:10 George R.R. Martin signed off on it. I think that they all thought he was going to finish the books in time. I mean, this series is like 10 years old. I think they were probably like, you know, he'll be done by the time we need him to be done. And then it was not. And then he just didn't do it. Yeah. Well, that's that's on him not on them i guess but like he agreed he agreed whenever they started it yeah that it would be his
Starting point is 00:12:30 books being adapted and then at some point he was like i'm just not going to finish the books and they're like well what the fuck are we supposed to do yeah but then if people are saying oh like the last season of game of thrones sucks it's like well game of thrones is my creation and it doesn't suck well they've been off the books for a while because he has like multiple books he hasn't finished right so it's kind of on him but at the same time he can come out and be like i don't give a fuck that's not how i'm gonna finish my book now the one the one quote that people are latching on to um they said themes are for eighth grade book reports they were talking about like the themes of their writing and the themes of game of thrones and they were like we don't believe in those yeah that's kind of tough
Starting point is 00:13:06 when you're talking about like a fantasy epic and there are many themes to that show from individual characters like khalisi being the mother and the breaker of chains there's that theme and the and like john snow's theme of being like the you know the flawed hero and all these things like those that's what makes these fucking books that's what makes these stories the whole lannister is like like what are you yeah so to be like themes are for eighth grade i mean and maybe that was taken out of context or whatever but a lot of people are like you know that's the one they're they're hammering home it just sounded like i wish i could find the there was one tweet that like basically described how in over their heads they were with everything and it sounded like they just had no shot at pulling this off.
Starting point is 00:13:47 And so that now coincides with them, uh, quote unquote, leaving star Wars. They're getting kicked out. I have to be because much like game of Thrones, like you don't, you don't say no to star Wars.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Like you, you don't, it's like, it's like, you know, I dumped, I dumped Rihanna. Like I didn't want to be with her. You know what Star Wars. It's like I dumped Rihanna. I didn't want to be with her. You know what I mean? I think that was a polite way for Star Wars and Disney to be like, you need to go on your way.
Starting point is 00:14:16 We're not going to say we fired you. Let's have it look good. You quit or we're going to fire you. You can save face. But the whole thing was season eight was like, well, they're just looking forward to star Wars. That was the whole excuse. So now what's the excuse?
Starting point is 00:14:28 They just don't know the fuck they're doing. They did get a hundred million. They got nine figures, by the way, a hundred million dollars from Netflix. So, you know, I'm not,
Starting point is 00:14:35 I'm not saying they're failures. Well, they still went and got a, a hundred plus million dollar deal. Um, but between the two of them, right? Not both.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah, correct. Um, but i think that like i think that disney probably didn't want any part of that and i i bet they did get cold feet in a sense it's like yo if we couldn't like hammer we couldn't nail like five episodes in a final season the most popular tv show are we gonna do a star wars trilogy like that to me and star wars you one of the questions on answer the internet is if you could wipe one group of people off the face of the earth star wars fans i think i'm going star wars fans minus bob fox i don't want to talk about because they're just fucking dicks like they're so dramatic about it and bob fox said in his blog you wrote a great blog about benny often weiss leaving quote unquote uh star wars and he said that like if you had the choice to to write go write for netflix for 100 million dollars and you get to come up with your own creation and see your
Starting point is 00:15:35 own project through or write for a series that everyone is like you're fucking with my childhood like don't don't ruin the trilogy or the movies before it and all that shit it's like i feel like it's it's a it's a thankless job like it's it's like if you do if you if you nail a great star wars it's just like they're like okay good like that's what you're supposed to do and if you fuck it up the guy who's like jar jar binks said he almost killed himself really said he had suicidal thoughts from people hating the character Jar Jar Binks. I think he just voiced it, right? Maybe he did like the, you know.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Jar Jar Binks was an animal, like a creature, right? Right. He said he wanted to kill himself. There was another girl who said she was in The Last Jedi. She was like, you know, it was the worst experience of my life. I regret it. Why did she regret it? Because these fans, if they don't like the show, you know, it was the worst experience of my life. I regret it. Why did she regret it? Because these fans,
Starting point is 00:16:28 if they don't like the show, the movie, they fucking tear you apart. It's crazy. It's basically like if you give somebody a hot gambling tip. It's thankless. You cannot win. George Lucas, he created it, and Disney now does it. Because I think George Lucas was like, fuck it, I'm out.
Starting point is 00:16:43 If the creator of that shit is like, I'm done with you guys. And it goes both ways. There's a reason why it's a $65 billion media, you know, empire because these fans love it and are so rabid. Yeah. But, you know, when it comes to being the writer, it's like the most lucrative franchises and shout out to my man Pooh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Winnie the Pooh is just fucking crushing it right now. Winnie TP. Winnie the Pooh brings in more money than fucking Star Wars. It was like $75 billion. Really? Which I couldn't believe because it's like, okay, they make the stuffed animals. They have the cartoon. I'm sure there's some Disney rides or whatever, but other than that,
Starting point is 00:17:21 I don't know. Star Wars has the merchandise and you can buy toy lightsabers and they have rides. Pooh, to me, is just a bear. There's someone in this office that walks around like Eeyore. I won't name any names. Brandon Walker? No, not Brandon Walker. Because he can be bubbly sometimes. Just name it.
Starting point is 00:17:38 No, because I don't really know him. Oh. Yeah, it wouldn't be someone that if I... Meaning he walks around moping? Yeah. In content? Constantly moping. Is it me? someone that like, if I. Meaning like he walks around like moping? Yeah. In content? Constantly moping. I mean, is it me?
Starting point is 00:17:48 No, it's not you. No. You're too boisterous to be Eeyore. Constantly moping. Yeah. Every time he walks by these windows, I'm just like, there he goes. There's Eeyore. I can't think of who you're talking about. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:59 I would say it if I knew him and I could like bust balls. He has a podcast? I don't even know him. No. He writes? No. He has a podcast. I don't even know him. Uh, no, he writes. No, he's in content videos. Kinda.
Starting point is 00:18:09 He's, he's, he's loosely involved in content. Yeah. Huh? I'm going to be thinking about this all day. I mean, Brandon definitely walks around like Eeyore sometimes.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Oh yeah. I mean, he physically walks around like slow steps, mice and men. Yeah. He is big, not cold. No, no, I'm talking about Brandon Walker.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The video of him picking the worms when we were in Morgantown, West Virginia. He's looking sharp today, though, as the milkman or whatever the fuck it's called. I wrote a blog. I'm planning to sexually harass him all week. He has to wear it all week? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. And we have to stream at five. We have a points bet stream
Starting point is 00:18:42 on Saturday, too, and because he didn't wear it yesterday, he has to wear it on like a advertised stream all day saturday i don't know if this is maybe there's like a pride angle to being like an a and m thing it's not that bad of a fit it's not like he's wearing like a dress or something uncomfortable he's just in like like white sweat pants he looks like a buffet he looks silly but i'm saying it's not like that's also like an actual milkman costume not a yell leader costume so it's like it looks like he should be in an insane asylum and there's just like a logo right he doesn't need like a straight jacket for sure oh yeah it's not a good look but um he had the choice to either do that all week or wear Ole Miss stuff one day and he chose that that's how much he hates Ole Miss yeah I respect
Starting point is 00:19:20 that like I'm not wearing any Yankee gear or anything like that you know no he won't do it I'd do almost anything over wearing a Yankee hat. They wanted him to wear it yesterday, and he said he didn't have anything to wear underneath it. Dan was like, so? Who cares? I was like, no, no, no. We have to make sure he's got something on underneath that. For the love of God, make sure he has something underneath the thin white pants.
Starting point is 00:19:37 I would never do that. The Eeyore thing is going to bug me. It's going to bug me, too. I'll tell you during the break, obviously. I feel like people think that I'm like Eeyore because of like my online personality. What they don't realize is that I'm like. Your mood varies. But like I'm never, I think the difference between me and my like online and not like
Starting point is 00:19:54 I have a character, but like because I'm online and I'll be like, I don't like that. And I will tell you about that. People think that I'm like always like a Debbie Downer. I feel like when I'm hanging out, it's like totally yeah you can fun to be around i'll laugh yeah this is funny that if you if you say you i i feel like i'm just like a tough critic and have high standards and i'm like i don't like that song or i don't like this movie and here's the reasons why people think that it's like uh they're always you're always like an eeyore it's like i think there's a very big difference between being like i hate hate this. Being a hater and
Starting point is 00:20:25 being a downer, two very different things. Eeyore just never even raised his voice or anything. It was always like... The person that I'm thinking of that's like Eeyore, I've never even heard his voice before. This is going to drive me crazy. He just kind of slugs around. That's a terrible way to describe someone. Slugs around.
Starting point is 00:20:42 He just kind of slugs around. It's going to drive me crazy. Kind of of in content is he in the social team uh i ought to be honest with you i don't like i know one of his responsibilities but i don't know what he like does all day does he sit on that side or this side outside downstairs no not upstairs yeah yeah downstairs but that side that side yeah or back there this is terrible radio this is really really bad the mystery is on we have 10 minutes until anyway uh with this benny off and weiss thing i mean would you if you were like i mean extremely public like like i kind of said like would you take on a job like at major league baseball knowing like you're not going to do well?
Starting point is 00:21:28 Because it does kind of fuck you for the future. Knowing that you're way over your head. You might get lucky. You know baseball. These guys know how to write shit. They got their money. We're talking about the cream of the crop and whether or not you can deliver an all-time classic, not like you don't know what you're doing would you know baseball but could you be that'd be the equivalent like not just any job like it's you going to the dream yeah so like if
Starting point is 00:21:54 the red socks were like we want to make you the president of baseball operations so we're going with the rocket it's it's the pros be like, it'd be great content. Because knowing that if I get fired, I can just come back here. Our brains are so broken. Yeah, I could just come back. So it's a valid, you know. Yeah, I could literally. No, I know it's great, but it's sad that that's like, oh, it'd be great content.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I love, I mean, and thank God for this, the way my life has turned out. When bad stuff happens to me, I'm like, well, silver lining. It's going to make for a compelling podcast episode video. Like the only reason I really, I feel so bad for like Jets, Mets, Knicks, Islanders fans in regular life. They get nothing. They watch the game, they lose, they're miserable. And that's it. I at least I'm like, well, I get to make the goddamn Jets right now.
Starting point is 00:22:42 And like, I have an angle and it'll be funny. And it kind of like and it kind of like it kind of softens the the loss like I don't ever want to make those videos again I would love them to be positive but I at least can be like alright let's make a t-shirt or make a joke or make a video when you don't have any
Starting point is 00:22:58 sort of like outlet like lemonade from lemons like it fucking sucks but like if the Red Sox offer me that position the pro the content the check I'm sure would be nice for like a year the cons would be
Starting point is 00:23:13 like if I run the team into the ground and then like Red Sox fans hate me and then I come back here and they're like well fuck him so then it's like I couldn't even come back here you would have to do what D&D did you'd have to go to an island and just not watch the next season. Just avoid.
Starting point is 00:23:27 But the problem is like, we're talking about you leaving your job to go to another industry. These guys are writers. They write TV shows. They produce TV shows. They show run. If you fuck that up,
Starting point is 00:23:38 it hurts you. Like to go back to blogging, they'd be like, all right, well, this guy can't run a baseball team, but he can run, he can make videos and write blogs.
Starting point is 00:23:44 But I should know which players. They're probably not going to get another to blogging, they'd be like, all right, well, this guy can't run a baseball team, but he can run, he can make videos and write blogs. But I should know which players. They're probably not going to get another look at like one of these massive, you know, no one's going to be like, all right, well, you could go do Star Trek. It's like, you know, you've kind of, you fucked up one. The other one, clearly something went on where nobody, they agreed to like go separate ways. It's, it's not a. You have another industry to fall back on while they, while they definitely coincide, but like they are in the same industry.
Starting point is 00:24:10 I don't know that I could fall back. It's like my, my strength is like the popularity with Red Sox. If I drive a team into a ground, it'd be interesting though. It would. And you can write about it. Fuck him.
Starting point is 00:24:22 My cup of coffee, like in, in major league baseball, I fucked up. You know what? I think. My cup of coffee, like in, in major league baseball, I fucked up. You know what? I think it would be such a, I would, I think it's, it's, um, but I was just like, if I'm surprised that I, I think I do an okay job, but if I, if I like traded their like top prospects for like a pitcher that just fucking blew his elbow out and it's like, yeah, but you could sit right here on radio and people could just call and berate you for the rest of your
Starting point is 00:24:47 career and it's content where i don't know if i want to get berated for the rest of my well i'm just saying i find it super interesting i'm surprised that somebody hasn't you know uh like if fucking if steve phillips had a podcast about like my you know how hard it is to run a major league baseball team in new york and like here's how i fucked up i think i'd listen to the shit out of that i mean that is you know if if uh if an ex-manager or something like that was just up front and honest about you know how much of a failure they were or how hard it is i think that's very compelling i think that's super interesting i can't believe somebody hasn't done it yet i don't think i would be able to obviously jump right into being like a president of baseball operations but i feel like i'd say not yeah but i feel like i could transition into
Starting point is 00:25:35 a front office role right now and do a good job in what role just somewhere in like baseball operations because like i like that's one of my strong suits is like the geeky like analytical shit but it just doesn't play with the Barstool audience like I'm not going to bore you to tears with like the stuff that I'm looking at to like you know the Rockets going to be there in the war room being like since May 25th
Starting point is 00:25:59 on Tuesday night games this guy's batting 320 with there's just like different things that I look at that I would never put in a blog because it's like you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. This is why we need Jared versus White Sox Dave. Analytical baseball off. Have we gotten to the bottom of his baseball academy yet?
Starting point is 00:26:14 It's the White Sox Dave Baseball Academy. Is it really called that? No. That would be amazing. The WSDBA. You get sued by Major League Baseball. Are we talking like, is he the new Tommy Manske? Is he making fundamental videos?
Starting point is 00:26:28 I swear to God, he could turn this whole thing around. If he makes a video of himself throwing a ball into a garbage can at home plate and makes a Tommy Manske commercial with White Sox Dave... We were talking about doing that two years ago and we just never did. Do it!
Starting point is 00:26:41 That is the most recognizable, memorable, nostalgic thing for our generation. I threw a baseball into a trash can in the middle of a fucking hurricane when we were at the all-star game last year do it again man do it again you remember there's also that and there's the kid who like he makes like a diving falling catch and he like scorpions himself yes that's i mean those things are burned into my brain yeah tommy maskey the fucking crime dog in the commercial. He endorsed it. Fred McGriff.
Starting point is 00:27:07 That is in the hall of fame. You absolutely should be for the nickname alone. Right. I think he was like, he just, he came just short of 500 homers. Oh, that sucks.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Cause that's an auto auto. And he was like four 93 or something. Oh, like one, one more. Casey or share with the class. Barry from Deadspin got fired who? Barry Petschke
Starting point is 00:27:28 which one's that? is he a Barstool hater? well he's this guy he's always isn't that the guy that had the rape jokes yeah he tweeted hi I've just been fired from Deadspin for not sticking to sports and now I'm laughing because Dave is obviously on top of this
Starting point is 00:27:44 and he said, Hey Barry, I will offer you a job right now. A hundred K three year deal to be my Butler. You have till the end of the day to accept. And then Dave quote tweeted that his own quote and said, there's own tweet and said, let me clarify Barry a hundred K per year, full benefits.
Starting point is 00:27:57 You are my Butler and my secretary. It's not even that hard. You just have to call my Amex black card guy and book my private planes and shit. He is very easy such an asshole it's so good let's let's hit an early break here because like we'll get into the whole deadsman thing because it is it's it's dark and mean but it's satisfying and it's interesting well these guys go after us all the time it's like we're celebrating somebody getting fired, just some random guy.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Like, fuck that guy. I would hope that this being like the nine millionth and hopefully final nail in the coffin of Deadspin, that the world will finally understand that the way we do things is what works because it's what people want. It's good business. It's good content. And the way they do it, meaning the Deadspins and the Blue Check Brigades of the world,
Starting point is 00:28:48 the way they do it is so fucking holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, uninteresting, disinteresting nonsense. Coming back after the break, we'll get into it. The fall of Deadspin. But everything at all just feels the same. Techniques that get results, producing baseball world's back-to-back-to-back AAU national championship teams and even a gold medal in international competition. In a recent review, Collegiate Baseball Magazine explained, with Coach Emanski's techniques, the future of baseball is here today. Even top professional players are impressed. Just ask Major League Superstar Fred McGriff.
Starting point is 00:29:24 I'm so impressed with the instructional videos by Coach Amasky that I've given them my full endorsement. When you watch them, you'll know why. The defensive drills video is available. Shout out to all my students out there. Halloween has come and gone. You spent your money on your costume. You went to a couple different parties.
Starting point is 00:29:43 You had a big bar bill. And now you're left with only a couple dollars left in your pocket. But how are you going to entertain yourself this month with SiriusXM? Because all it costs is $4 per month when you go to SiriusXM.com slash rockets. You got to be a student. But for $4 per month, you can get the entire SiriusXM catalog. That means me, Jared, and Casey. That means Dave and Barstool Radio. That means
Starting point is 00:30:07 Big Cat and Afternoon Yak. Every single Barstool show, Howard Stern, the games if you're betting, the music if you want to listen to that, stand-up comedy channels if you're into the comic thing. Basically, all the satellite channel has to offer
Starting point is 00:30:23 for just $4 per month. It's a sports lover's dream, a music lover's dream, a podcast and radio lover's dream. And as a college kid, you got plenty of downtime. You got to entertain yourself around campus and you got to do it as cheap as possible.
Starting point is 00:30:36 So that's why you go to SiriusXM.com slash rockets. Sign up today for just four bucks on my students out there. $4 SiriusXM.com slash Rockets. We're back. We're going to get into this deadspin situation, but Manish Mehta just tweeted that the Jets are looking to trade Le'Veon Bell before the deadline. 4 p.m. deadline.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Big time. Le'Veon Bell. How do you feel about him? Let it out. I hate Adam Gase gaze i hate him because he's getting it's like benny off and weiss it's like he doesn't know what he's doing and somehow snaked his way into this role which i can appreciate snake it till you make it but then once it's clear he doesn't know what he's doing we should pull a disney yeah this guy he he cannot be in control of this
Starting point is 00:31:54 operation you can't give him the keys to star wars you can't give adam gates the keys to a professional franchise and they're gonna have to because like i said yesterday they're paying bowls and they're paying mccagnin joe douglas is apparently being paid to do fucking nothing because adam gaze runs the show so you've got four different guys being paid for the job of one shitty head coach slash gm and he is lashing out now because every guy that's not one of his guys he's gonna blame so adam Gay sucks and his football team sucks. And rather than just being like, I suck, he's going to say that the reason the Jets suck is because of guys that he didn't sign that he never wanted sucking. So it's not my fault.
Starting point is 00:32:37 It's Le'Veon Bell's fault. I never wanted him in the first place. It's Le'Veon Bell. It's Leonard Williams. Let's trade him. He stinks and we got to get rid of him. Yeah, he does stink. And I'm actually very happy they got a third and a fifth. I don't know what the fucking Giants were thinking of.
Starting point is 00:32:48 The Giants, the Jets had no suitors. Nobody was willing to take Leonard Williams, and the Jets went and got two draft picks for him. They'll probably fuck it up and get nothing out of that, but the point is they've somehow got Gettleman to agree to fucking sign someone who's done literally nothing since his rookie year. But he, this guy is like i can understand if you get a job and you stink and you're just like i'll never cash the check
Starting point is 00:33:12 but now when you're trading other guys cutting guys blaming other people it's like what you're gonna you're gonna ruin other people's situations because you fucking blow with this dude it would be like if the writers of game of thrones just started like killing characters off like oh well fuck john i never liked john snow in the first place george rr martin was the one who wrote him not me so yeah i mean i and obviously they're killing characters off but like it'd be like if they were just blaming everybody else like oh kit harrington you suck as an actor so see you later and it's like no no no no like this is on you and by the way levy on bell like I understand like he's kind of an asshole sometimes. He's been,
Starting point is 00:33:46 I mean, he's been quite, he hasn't like, he's been fine. He hasn't done anything special, but he hasn't said anything. He hasn't been a problem. No,
Starting point is 00:33:52 he's pretty good at football. I'd say. And a lot of the shit, I mean, you know, really, really great backs and, and,
Starting point is 00:34:00 and guys who were doing what he used to do. They can make it happen no matter what. It doesn't matter who your quarterback is. It doesn't matter who your quarterback is. It doesn't matter what your line is. You just make it happen. He's not doing that. But I mean, when you have your quarterback who's clearly going through some shit
Starting point is 00:34:13 mentally and you have an offensive line that fucking sucks and there's no other offensive weapons, it's probably pretty hard for Le'Veon Bell to be the Le'Veon Bell that he, when he had a big Ben and Antonio Brown and a good line and good coaching so I think he's doing a pretty good job all things considered the contract wasn't crazy I don't think it's it's a huge money thing he's not as far as we know causing any attitude clubhouse issues locker room issues so like what's the point what is what's gonna happen what is this gonna do they're gonna they're undoubtedly gonna get worse and if maybe now if you tell me you're gonna get a haul
Starting point is 00:34:49 for him if you somehow were to get like a Khalil Mack deal which you're not because he's not a game changer like that but if you were to get like a first round pick or something okay that signals to me that you're basically like looking to the future which they should be if you do it the right way I guess I'm okay with it but the problem is like they're not you know they're not going they're not like tanking they're not in like lose mode they're supposed to be in taking steps forward mode and now you're going to take another dynamic weapon away from sam donald like now we know like now every opposing defense knows well we don't have to worry about anyone out of the backfields because what the fuck do they have?
Starting point is 00:35:25 Exactly. Now it's even more pressure on him and they're already subpar wide receiver core. It's like, and it's the whole thing. What is he going to do for anybody? Football, obviously. I mean, the quarterback runs it, but having like an Ezekiel Elliott for Jack Prescott makes Jack Prescott way better. All he has to do is just hand the ball off.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Le'Veon Bell, just like Sam Donald doesn't have to throw. He doesn't have to think. He just has to hand it off to Le'Veon Bell and let him goold doesn't have to throw. He doesn't have to think. He just has to hand it off to Le'Veon Bell and let him go. Why take that away? It's always a fail safe. It's always like a safety blanket for him. If you get weapons at wide receiver, obviously the quarterback has to do something to get them the ball.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Just give Le'Veon Bell the ball. Imagine being like, hey, listen, Sam, I know it's been tough for you, but by the way, we're also taking away your running back. How is this going to help? I think everything should be geared towards cultivating Sam Donalds. And right now that that involves a little bit of like babying, like they need to keep him safe and happy. And taking away weapons from him is only going to put more pressure on him at a time where he very obviously can't handle the pressure.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Very obviously. more pressure on him at a time where he very obviously can't handle the pressure very obviously i would be shocked if there was any jets fans other than the fact of like you know you're gonna get a haul for him that'd be different but like it's not like levy on bell that like you said that we know of has been an asshole so what's the point right what's the point in late october early november to get rid of levy on bell silent in a good way in a bad way i haven't like there hasn't been a game where i've been like, fuck, yeah. Like, you know, we won the Le'Veon Bell sweepstakes, but there hasn't been a single comment. There's been no Odell Beckham type shit. There's certainly been no Antonio Brown type shit.
Starting point is 00:36:54 He's fine. And just taking him off the roster makes your roster immediately worse just because he is a very good running back. And also, who the hell are they going to put back to that? Any defense is going to be back to that any defense is going to be like you know we got a scheme for that guy more than levy on bell now and they're only trying to do so like if they if they just you know the deadline comes and goes and they didn't get what the offer like i have no problem floating you know but this is also now like maybe this is now where levy on bell does become a problem because a guy like that when you signal that you don't
Starting point is 00:37:23 value him and you don't think he's good, that's when he does tend to speak up. And in this case, I wouldn't even fucking mind. For once, I'd be on the side of the Diva player being like, fuck off, because Adam Gates is a goddamn clown. John, what do you got on the Jets? Yeah, what's up, Casey? First off, bought the ATI today.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Can't wait for that to come in. Thanks, man. Yeah, I called yesterday. I was the one who was venting about the Jets to you, and I was calling about the whole Le'Veon belt thing. One thing I gotta say, Manish, I fucking hate that guy. He's the worst writer ever. He always loves
Starting point is 00:37:57 to turn to stories. Connor Hughes is reporting that the Jets weren't the ones shopping him. The Chiefs and the Texans were the ones calling to see what they would need for him. And they told them it would be a Khalil Mack type deal. And they said, screw that, we're out. Like you said, if we could get that, that's fine. Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Okay, so that's a different story. If other people are knocking on your door saying we want him, and you're like, okay, well, give me the fucking moon. And they say no, and everyone goes back to their respective teams, then we're fine. But the Jets, who have just botched a lot of off-the-field PR issues, this concerns me because if they, like Le'Veon Bell would kind of be the sort of guy who's like, what the fuck's going on here? And if management ever sat you down and said, well, listen,
Starting point is 00:38:41 they were offering us an offer you can't refuse, I think it would be understandable but knowing the jets knowing adam gaze he'll probably put his foot in his mouth and fuck this up in some way or another so it just makes me apprehensive everything the jets do makes me nervous because they don't know how to handle anything i mean the caliccio sameli situation is like what you're sending blank mris to the guy and then being like, whoops, I made a mistake. Fuck you, dude. So petty and so stupid and making something like making a mountain out of a molehill here.
Starting point is 00:39:12 It's so stupid the way they shoot themselves in the foot and make things. You're already the Jets. You're already in the AFC East. You've already got all sorts of issues. And you're just going to make things worse on yourself by mishandling these situations. That's why, like, anytime you see trades in whatever league whether it's baseball basketball football hockey whatever it's like understandable why you would want to put somebody out there to be offered that's fine unless you're a franchise or an organization that's so bad at
Starting point is 00:39:36 everything like the jets it's like yeah like obviously you're gonna throw a guy out there like how much can we get for this guy that's fine that's understandable even if you don't really want to get rid of them but you know know that the jets are going to fuck it up either way. Somehow, some way. That's what the jets do. That's why everyone's saying like Leonard Williams is going to go get a bunch of sacks.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Now someone's like, he's going to finish the season with 10 sacks. And I'm laughing like, no, he's not dude. He doesn't. Oh, maybe,
Starting point is 00:39:57 you know what I mean? It's like, it's, it's not that Leonard Williams is going to be good. It's that this is what happens to the jets. This is what happens to fans like me. I, I, you know, it's that this is what happens to the jets this is what happens to fans like me i i you know it's not logical what should happen doesn't happen when you have shitty franchises like the jets they're always going to go down in flames much like our friends over at deadspin uh deadspin has been deadspin was once our competition. I'd even say our enemy.
Starting point is 00:40:25 In terms of web traffic, do they do better than us? I don't know. I feel like at one point they probably did. Deadspin? I don't know about now. No way. That was definitely the case. You're talking about now, at one point. I think it's even close now. I don't know what their numbers are.
Starting point is 00:40:41 I don't know our numbers either, but remember that blog maybe three months ago where we were like one of the number one media companies in the world. It was like a top 65 website period, including like Facebook and eBay and shit. We were in that mix. I think we have since hit like a tipping point where we like leapfrogged into a whole other,
Starting point is 00:41:01 I mean, they're bankrupt. There's no way they're getting our clicks, but they, I think at one point, you know, when they had will leach and delorio and and a lot of good writers um they were doing investigative shit too like they were the ones that broke the anti-tale and the brett farve shit like they they had their moments in the sun which i think were like scummy moments but whatever you know this game is it's grimy like everyone's and that's the thing like
Starting point is 00:41:22 we just kind of admit it they were like they're some of the worst most like deplorable do anything for clicks type of places in the world but then they get up in their ivory tower and act like they're some you know investigative journalists who are like doing doing good in this world they're like the internet watchdogs yep it's like you are also a culprit here and i have never seen a better example of i don't know how old these people are i don't know if they fall into like the millennial cliches but these guys who and girls i just mean you know general guys who write these blogs trashing their bosses and their employers And thinking that that's okay is the most immature, like, non-aware, don't understand how the world works nonsense I've ever fucking seen. Because it's not like they're doing it like if we were to write, like, you know, like dueling blogs with Dave, like talking shit about Dave, which people do all the time or like whatever. It's like that's part of content.
Starting point is 00:42:23 They're doing it because they actually hate their boss and hate their advertisers i mean they hate a pre-roll ad like that's how you fucking pay the bills right that's how you get a salary that's how you have i don't know what kind of like offices they have or what their operation is but like that's the fucking business we're not are they what's the pre-roll ad thing they're mad that there's pre-roll ads was it like the content or just the notion that there's pre-roll ads from what i understand now it's hard to follow and dave's blog was also kind of hard to follow with it because he was dave right he was gloating into but from what i what i've gathered is they were mad that there were pop-up ads or that that like automatically played on the website right which so dave says I see Both sides here I agree that autoplay
Starting point is 00:43:06 Ads are annoying for the readers but when you Declare bankruptcy every other month it's kind of Hard to complain about anything that your boss is Trying to do to generate revenue and pay your salary so I don't know if maybe let's Say these pop-up ads were like A fucking Trump ad or something I don't know if they're Talking about the content of it or just
Starting point is 00:43:22 Being like I don't like that there's ads You should you should like complain to my boss about that shut the fuck up there's also your fucking mouth and take your shitty paycheck that you're lucky to even still have and you know what people who are dead weight like you who don't generate any money for this fucking company we have to have annoying pre-roll ads to try to keep you alive none of them generate any money that's why the whole thing is crazy. Like the Laura Wagner's of the world and the Megan Greenwell's it's like they sit on this high horse and their high horse is literally bankrupt. At the end of the fucking day,
Starting point is 00:43:52 you are a writer on the internet that is putting out content that hopefully people want to read and consume. And if you don't do that, you stink at your job. You're not changing the world. You're not fucking bettering the planets with your fucking takes. You're not changing the world. You're not fucking bettering the planets with your fucking takes. You're not going to influence policy and politics. You're writing for your small little echo chamber that doesn't influence anybody or anything. And in the process, you're making no money doing it. None. And like, shut up. And they sit. sit and i mean i always say this like you know jokingly but i think that there's some sort of truth to it they've got like some ticker with all of our content going on because they pick and choose things like they're i don't remember which
Starting point is 00:44:33 guy did it but just me like in my own little bubble like he ripped apart me calling somebody stupid because i used the wrong word in a blog and he wrote an entire piece on it's like that's what you did at work today you went and read some blog about an instagram model like what are you talking about that's finally what people will click on like because that's why i always lean on barstool content i wonder if it's just like well you know i haven't hit like my quota yeah and you know uh we you know it seems like at some point they realize they need to to put out content that gets clicks and that's when they lean on the barstool crutch but for the most part they seem to just not even acknowledge that at all. It's just like, well, I'm here to talk about what's good and what's right and how the world
Starting point is 00:45:13 should be. And here's all my ridiculous, idealistic, unrealistic bullshit. But that's what the world needs today. And it's like, nobody fucking cares. And by the way, they all made rape jokes back in the day right and everybody yeah they've they've all had their moments where they've they've completely contradicted and been hypocritical to anything they stand for now they've all at one point used like the well it's comedy excuse but then turn around and try to you know like discount that when, when people
Starting point is 00:45:45 like us are explaining that's our, our motivation and our intent. It's just like, it's so I get, you know, whatever the, I, I, I, I'm not able to find the words that can actually convey like the millennial bullshit. Cause it's not millennials. It has nothing to do with like what age group you are, whatever. But there is people in the world with this crazy sense of entitlement and this warped perception of like what's real and what matters while completely losing sight of the practicality of like the world and the business and the internet it's like you can't you don't just get a paycheck basically for free to go do and say what you want to do if it's not eliciting results. It's not it's not a fucking charity.
Starting point is 00:46:31 I like this new guy, whatever his name is, the guy who now owns it. Spanfeller. Yeah, the guy who did the sick to sports like he's like, you guys stink at this. We're paying you for fucking nothing, basically. So just shut up and write, you know know generic sports stuff that let's be honest i think it's boring as shit but there's a lot of people out there who just want to read about like sports you know they just want to know like the x's and o's and what happened during the game and a little bit of a like some some opinion in there and just do that and shut the fuck up about
Starting point is 00:46:57 the politics and the the so like the society the societal like takes and shut up laura wagner tweeted just a few minutes ago jim spanfeller is a real piece of shit that's her boss right that's her boss and now like i say that about dave all the time but it's like but you're but it would never joking it's it's well well you know what i mean but it's like but it's it's never like a business if dave was ever like uh you know we're gonna we're gonna like run this ad campaign because we need money, because I'll be honest, guys, like, you know, we need cash. I'd be like, OK. Yeah. And I would never be like Dave.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Dave Portnoy is such a ridiculous asshole thinking that he's going to put another ad read into my show. All right. That's the business, man. Oh, he's going to make a stream on a Saturday. Fuck him. And honestly, no, it's making him make a stream on a Saturday. Fuck him. No, it's making us money too. And the way that I do talk shit about him, the reason he allows that is because it's good for business.
Starting point is 00:47:52 It's good for money. It's good for the big picture. He knows that. He gets that. And that's why whenever he's an asshole to people, he always says, well, it's the only place in the world where you can walk into my office and say, fuck you. And it's the only place in the world where you can walk into my office and say, fuck you. And it's relatively okay. So I would never
Starting point is 00:48:07 talk shit about, especially things that I don't know about. These people have no fucking clue what the bottom line at Deadspin is. They have no idea the revenue, I'm assuming at least, the revenue coming in and coming out and how much this person makes and what you need to earn in order to stay afloat and how much money, you know, all that shit. They don't know. So shut up about things you don't know about. Dave is now trying to get this Jim Spanfeller guy to call him.
Starting point is 00:48:36 He said, get him, Laura. Hey, Jim Spanfeller, call me. And then I just clicked on Jim's Twitter and it's like Dave and Keith are following him now. So Dave, he has extended an offer to who? Who was the Butler offer? To Barry. So Barry something or other at Deadspin has been fired. He tweeted like, I've just been fired. Because guess what? You were probably like an insubordinate asshole who was
Starting point is 00:49:03 like not living in the real world where his boss told him hey here's what you need to do in order to make money and keep your job so you know go ahead and die on that hill and be an unemployed bum whatever he's been a deadspin for like over a decade he i don't know this one i know tom lay i don't know or tom lee or whatever it's barry one it's just at barry you've seen you've seen his stuff for sure okay because he's every single time they come after us for whatever, like comedy stuff. Barry's always. I always thought that was Tom. I didn't know it was Barry.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Both of them. But okay, either way. They both have said the same stuff. This guy tweets he's out. Dave has offered him a pretty sweet deal. Yeah. A hundred K. With benefits.
Starting point is 00:49:39 With benefits. For a hundred K total or a hundred K a year? It's a hundred K a year. A hundred K a year? It's 100K a year. 100K a year? Yeah. I'll go be your butler, Dave. I'll do this in addition to my shit. I need another 100K.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Yeah. 100K a year with full benefits. This tweet is just so good. You're my butler and my secretary, so not just a butler. And you just have to, you know, deal with his black card and his private jets. I'll do this shit. It's a three-year deal. It's basically being Frankie.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Yeah. Well, it's like being Frankie. Yeah. Well, it's like being spider. Yeah. A hundred K. He's not having to edit anything. He's not having to shoot anything. He's literally just having to basically just make Dave's life easier.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Play Dave's tweet. This was the video reacting to, uh, the latest deadspin news. It's great stuff. Oh, Barry, Barry, reacting to the latest Deadspin news. It's great stuff. Oh, Barry. Barry.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Barry. This one's for you. You fired fuck. You fired fuck. Oh, Deadspin. They're all falling. They're all falling. Feidelberg just texted me and asked me for pushups.
Starting point is 00:50:46 How many? 20. Get down and do them. But I still owe him 15 because he asked me for 15. I did 35. So that's me being accountable. So you got to do 35 more. Yeah, I owe him 35.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I was going to give him 15 today. No, you got to give him 15 plus 20. Yeah. Get down and do them. I mean, this is one of those things. I really don't like to like revel in uh in other people's like actual failures like i'm always hating and talking shit but like you know everyone at dead spit at sports illustrator hit hit a bump and that's shitty
Starting point is 00:51:17 i'll be honest i thought some of the dramatics about that were a little over the top too those are normal people and they lost their job and that sucks but when it's someone who has a talked a bunch of shit b like tried to basically get you me and everyone else here fired right and who i know would be throwing a goddamn party if it happened to me i don't have as much of a problem being like well and and when they do it you know when they do it to themselves in such a way it's like like you you're so insubordinate and so uh like unrealistic with your views about the world and and so childlike and immature about how business and money and the world fucking works it's a lack of self-awareness that you can't even describe it's like it's like when when when the the political people are like well everyone should
Starting point is 00:52:12 go to college or phrase it's like that's not real like these are some of these things are just so far-fetched you don't get to put out content on your sports website about like politics and society that don't garner any interest and then complain about advertising that you try to put in your uninteresting piece. It's just what that is a recipe for complete failure. And any boss who took this piece of shit over and is trying to raise it from the dead is going to have to be very businesslike about it. And if you don't fall in line with that, then you got to go. And that's just, and that that's fine too if those people were just like you know what i have my principles i have my morals and i don't like pre-roll ads and so i'm going elsewhere fine but this like he's a piece
Starting point is 00:52:54 of shit and everyone needs to tell him about it's like fuck off it's just there's different strokes there's different ways to to operate now these guys are operating in the real world with what is i believe to be very practical and understandable practices. And if you disagree with that, a, I think you're an idiot, but B fine. You have every right to go elsewhere, but just shut the fuck up while you do it. Well, it's like the, we always joke about like, Oh, you know, the, the different things we have to deal with here. Like everybody has to work seven days a week and it's like, we're all self aware of our jobs are fucking awesome. And what we get to do every single day is
Starting point is 00:53:25 really great these people at deadspin are just writing on the internet too now obviously they're not having fun like we are but it's like dude you're not doing like you've said you're not not curing cancer you're not you're not going after world peace you're not even doing anything that really really matters we i mean this radio show in the grand scheme of life does not matter what they're doing like seriously doesn't matter i mean we got crazy Keebler on the line right now. He's talking about how he helped him through a time. Go ahead, Keebler. Let him know.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Because I bet you dead sense I get cold with this. No, no, no. I want to take back what Casey just said there. Your guys' radio show does matter. Because I wanted to call and say thanks. Because you guys are really getting me through some tough times. And I know this might sound fucking weird. But it was almost like a gospel today.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I'm fucking down in the dumps. And I turn on this show. And you guys are, like, preaching exactly what I wanted to hear. So I just want to say thank you guys. You guys are keeping my head up and you guys are making me laugh every day. You're welcome, man. And I don't even want to say like you're welcome because it sounds almost like, you know, this is just what we do and
Starting point is 00:54:18 we're very happy that there are people that listen. And if there's, you know, an extra bonus side effect that we're helping people through some tough times. Cool. Thank you. And like, thanks for listening. And, you know, we keep putting them out and you keep listening and hopefully you're not
Starting point is 00:54:30 going through tough times. But if you are, we hope that it can help a little bit. And that's kind of the name of the game. But you can't take that to an extent of like, I'm changing the world and anyone who stands in my way. If it's my own boss, if it's money, if it's practicality, like, fuck it. Like, no, you still have to operate within the parameters of reality. Well, and that's the thing is when I say money if it's practicality like fuck it like no you still have to operate within the parameters of reality well and that's the thing it's when i say it doesn't
Starting point is 00:54:48 matter like obviously like when you when you came out recently i don't want to whenever you wrote that blog about like how hard it was when your kids leave and all that like that does help people or when people use this platform to actually talk about real life things of course it helps because we have a voice to some degree but in in reality, working for an internet company, doing SiriusXM and answering the internet, talking about dicks and stuff, like it's funny and it's helping people, but it's not doing what these people at Deadspin think that they're doing on a daily basis.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Get off your high horses, you dummies. Like we're having fun. Let's hit our break. We're not changing the world. Facts. Hour number two coming up after halftime. I'm sure there'll be some more grave dancing and all sorts of talk.
Starting point is 00:55:23 We got another hour before chicks in the office. Let's go. It starts with one thing. I don't know why. It doesn't even matter how hard you try. Keep that in mind. I'm designed as product to explain in due time. All I know.
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Starting point is 00:57:29 at manscaped.com. We're back. Hour number two. I'm fucking gassed, Casey Smith. Worked out for an hour today. Gassed. I'm proud of you. Guess what? What?
Starting point is 00:58:02 Knocked my age down from 49 to 48. Already? Yep. Hell yeah. How long have you been going? Lost a couple pounds. Well, I have not been working out. I told the guy today.
Starting point is 00:58:12 It was funny. I felt like I was talking to a boss or a girlfriend or a teacher. I had my excuses ready as to why. Because this guy, Mark DeSalvo is his name. You can check him out on Instagram. Let me get his exact handle while I tell this because he's been real good to me, and he's, like, trying to make the impossible happen. You act like you're, like, 500 pounds.
Starting point is 00:58:35 No, I'm not heavy, but I'm, like, such a calamity that, like, my neck and back and everything's broken. Mark DeSalvo is his name on Twitter, on Instagram. DeSalvo with an I-D-I l v o uh he's part of disalvo training and disalvo training.com is the website he does jujitsu and he's got his own gym and he's like really like a normal like i hate these people who are like too intense about it or whatever he's kind of like a normal normal guy you know which helps you big time um and i was like all right i you know he set me up with his app to track my progress and i haven't even like
Starting point is 00:59:10 downloaded that so i was like oh fuck i'm like what am i gonna tell him what am i gonna tell him he was kind of just like it's okay whatever dude you know because i really i've been uh eating better in the past couple weeks i can't do like both yet it's like all right let me get my food under control then i'll start going to the gym then we'll put it together and i'll be good uh because otherwise i'm just too miserable it's like if i'm going to the gym and i'm sore and i also can't eat my fucking donuts your boys can get cranky yeah we don't need you cranky no nobody likes cranky we were talking about this yesterday on on the show uh marty was saying that when he doesn't work out or when he works out no he said he tried it for like a month and a half,
Starting point is 00:59:45 but he also wasn't drinking and he was really unhappy. I was like, well, Marty, you got to drink still. Like you can't do it all too much. Yeah. Like there are some people that are just like,
Starting point is 00:59:52 they don't care to eat sweets. There are some people that don't care to drink alcohol. That's fine. But if you enjoy alcohol, you enjoy sweets, whatever it is. And you're also trying to get into a workout regimen. You can't cut it all out.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Are you going to be a miserable fucking person. Yeah, and then you're going to, like, it's, like, going too hard, and then you get turned off by it. You got to ease into it a little bit. It's like, I can't do anything fun. I can't eat what I like. The best part about working out is that you can eat more of what you like. Yeah, I get that, but I also feel like for what we're trying to do, like.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Once you get to a certain point where you're happy is what I mean. Yeah, but I just think so much of it is diet at this point where, like, you're just, you're not trying what i mean yeah i but i just think so much of it is diet at this point where like you're just you're not trying to like excel athletically you're not trying to achieve goals like i just want to look a little bit skinnier and better and like a lot of that is coming from you eating like shit apps are made in the kitchen is what they say exactly exactly so um but yeah i've been working out and uh and yeah I had the body of a 49 year old man. I'm 48. I mean,
Starting point is 01:00:47 if you're already taking years off this quick, like 40, think about this. If you, you've been going for like a little over a month, you're like one year down. So if you do this for 12 months, you do this for a year,
Starting point is 01:00:57 you'll be your age. I mean, I'm just looking to be a 35 year old man when I'm 35. That ain't too much to ask. No, you know, not at all. That it doesn't seem like it's that far out of question if you're already dropping years like this well let's hope
Starting point is 01:01:10 and then you can get like an Equinox membership and you can see all the hot girls at Equinox all the bitty bops at Equinox I was going to join one of the cheap ones because I don't want to spend money on it yet so I just need a place that has like heavy shit to pick up that's basically what I need right now don't talk to tommy smokes about it because i don't smokes is looking great he's looking great no i'm saying don't talk about the like where to go to the gym because i'm not i
Starting point is 01:01:32 don't remember exactly where he goes but from what i understand it's very cheap and you have to pay to use towels and i was like tommy that sounds like a certain standard homeless people are probably going to that and we're not going to gym shame here but if you have to pay to use a shitty white gym towel yeah probably not the place you should be working you know you don't work a dead spin you can afford it you yeah and even if you can't go outside and flip tires around before you need to go into a gym or you have to pay to use the towels gotta give him credit though he looks great because he um he was very concerned he said he always lost like 20 pounds going back to college which was very that's kind of backwards but he said going back to school he always lost weight and then once he graduated he was like very
Starting point is 01:02:13 nervous about it i think it you know showed for a little bit and he he's he's on his on his grind and it's like very noticeable and he was wearing like a like an athletic like under armor type shirt the other day yeah and rowan was rowan was hyping him up and gassing him up but he did look good there was a funny if tommy won the the call me daddy battle like if if like he gave himself a physical and fashion makeover on his own all of a sudden he was the hot one i mean he i don't remember exactly what sparked it in that little corner that's like right by like at the end of your, of your desks. It was Roan. Roan was just walking around being like, you guys see Tommy smokes.
Starting point is 01:02:50 He's fucking ripped. He's fucking jacked. I'm talking about before that. Like when they all decided they wanted to start eating healthy. Cause it like Frankie was around the same time. I think Miami's going on. I think Miami. That's why I'm doing it.
Starting point is 01:02:59 There was a, uh, there was like a man boob shame off for a while. And I know Tommy was involved. Frankie was involved. There was a YP was like talking man boob shame off for a while. And I know Tommy was involved. Frankie was involved. There was a YP was like talking shit to them. I don't remember what happened though to make that actually be a thing. But that's when Tommy started eating really healthy. Well, I found I can't do anything until I am like absolutely mentally there. And it just sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Like I work towards it. But I can tell in my own like psyche and my own like schedule that I'm just like I'm going home and eating a pizza tonight. And that's like I need it or I can't do without it or I'm just not interested in in, you know, going the extra mile or whatever it is to to eat healthy or whatever. But then I found when I when I have those moments where it's like ready to go, it's almost like easy. Like I found things that I know have no carbs or are pretty like healthy. And I'm like, I'm happy with the salad I'm eating. I'm happy.
Starting point is 01:03:53 I just crush peanut butter. Peanut butter. So that's like my, that's like, you know, it's kind of still sweet. So I kind of get like the, like treat aspect of it.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Just crush. I'll do like a normal size jar, like real fucking fast. Really? I do. I like to eat like spoonfuls of peanut butter. I do that too, but I'll do like a normal size jar, like real fucking fast. Really? I do. I like to eat like spoonfuls of peanut butter. I do that too, but I do like, you know,
Starting point is 01:04:09 like 10 spoonfuls in a sitting and it's like, well, there's half a jar gone. Yikes. Probably not. No, it's not great. It's not,
Starting point is 01:04:16 but I'm saying like, again, it's like that would have been like two donuts. Right. I mean, so it's, it's a step in the right direction. It's all,
Starting point is 01:04:22 it's all about progress. Kevin, you're working on it. Need to. I also reached a point where I was like, I, you know, I moped enough about my divorce, I went out enough and partied,
Starting point is 01:04:34 I drank enough, dated enough, and then it was like, left me kind of with nothing. So I was like, alright, now it's time to work on myself. That's why whenever people shame, like, whether it's working out or eating better or not drinking as much whatever it's like fuck you you're just trying i'm just trying to make myself better you know i mean anytime i've done it well if it's like extreme like the marathoners
Starting point is 01:04:55 who make it more than that like fuck them but the people who are who are clowning uh like healthy people are jealous like anytime i've been making fun of a gym goer, it's like, well, I fucking wish I looked like that and felt like that. Of course, that's where it's coming from. Are you feeling any of the endorphins yet? No, that's not real. Well, it is. That's not, no.
Starting point is 01:05:14 But it is. But I will say this. But it's not. I say this, and I understand it's going to happen to you eventually. You're probably never going to admit it just because you're stubborn and you're hardheaded. It's not going to happen just going once a week. When you start making a routine out of it. I also i also when i go i'm going for like an hour and i'm doing you
Starting point is 01:05:28 know three sets of fucking 15 of each thing and then i'm out of there i don't think you get to the endorphins level by doing that i think you got to put in a fucking workout all i know i can only speak for myself well science can also speak to it but if we're not we're throwing science out the window here if i don't work out for an extended period of time i'm way bitchier than i am normally and that's already that i understand i think that the like the word endorphins i think is like i don't believe that when you're feeling endorphins it's the same as like a drug high and that's how some people characterize it yeah i mean obviously you know you're not gonna fucking melt into your couch the way you do when you're on morphine it's just not
Starting point is 01:06:07 gonna happen no no i get you feel better and you might you know there is a an actual physiological thing going on i'm just saying when people compare it to like a high it's like i just don't believe that's okay here that's gonna feel like that for me maybe maybe it is for you but it's not for me let me meet you in the middle it's definitely not like you just smoked a bunch of weed and you're like but there are plenty of times where i've gone in either really upset like sad angry and as soon as i start going it feels as if i've taken something not to numb me not to like make me like pass out yeah but it takes away that anger sadness whatever so in that way it's kind of like a drug yeah no i feel that for sure and then if i didn't do it i'd just be sitting on my fat ass like putting down a bunch of food crying
Starting point is 01:06:49 or something right right right now no i that i understand for sure i just also i mean i i this to me is a means to an end i don't like it if i if i could snap my fingers and be healthy and look good i would do that i don't want to spend time there. I don't want to be sore. There's no sense of accomplishment, all that to me. That doesn't happen for me. It happens for a lot of other people. There will be a sense of accomplishment whenever you... Yeah, a sense of accomplishment when I reach the goal, but the daily, you guys were saying it feels good when you're sore
Starting point is 01:07:19 because you know you did something good. No, I don't want to be sore, period. I don't care why it came, why it happened. You're also the worst sore period right now yeah like i'm i'm at the point like i won't be able to walk yeah that's not fun nobody wants that night yeah nobody wants that where it's like you just like standing up out of bed you feel like you want to kill yourself i mean i've been doing the old man i'm boomer over here i'm like like pushing off like every single step it's like this is not fun yeah kate's been working out and she'll like hobble around the office and she's like i know i look like an asshole been going to the gym ladies
Starting point is 01:07:51 and gentlemen you know and it's like yeah it sucks yeah like i'm walking like real slow i'm walking like brandon walker like those small michael myers like baby steps he does have those yeah he's he's yeah poor brandon walker he well he was just in there with walk the line with the hooters girls so i don't feel too bad for him right was he in there uh probably he and marty go to hooters like every monday night yeah that's like that's the thing with the gambler cave like we've been talking about this like if you gamble and or are watching a lot of sports which obviously most of the people who cover sports are you're up here like seven nights a week well brandon also has he worked like 21 straight days or something.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Yeah. And he has like, you know, his kids and his wife and all that. And I was like, well, um, do they know that you go to Hooters?
Starting point is 01:08:32 And he was like, I like, he kind of like pushed past it. And I was like, I mean, at least you get to go to Hooters one night. At least you're not stuck up here. I mean,
Starting point is 01:08:38 silver lining. And Marty's like, I have to go to Hooters too. I'm like, Marty, you are nowhere near like you dude. I, Brandon Walker's probably at that point where it's like you know i've been here 21 straight days
Starting point is 01:08:49 but do i want to go home to the four kids and the five puppies and the fucking bedlam that's going on in my house i'm so mad he hasn't brought a puppy up here yet he was talking about giving him away for trick-or-treating yesterday that would be amazing here you go drop a puppy in the bag it's like when i got my godson a puppy yeah and i mean that uh my mets producer kyle told me that there was a house on his block that would give out goldfish goldfish not the snack like a fucking goldfish like in the bag well you can't like i'm sure there's so many kids that were so excited like you can't then be like no we're not taking this gold yeah like he said his mom was like what the fuck am i supposed to do this fish now i guess you can just pour it in like a glass though yeah i guess but then it's gonna die in a week and then you have to do like
Starting point is 01:09:31 the whole fucking death thing with your kid just give him a goddamn twix and go on your way yeah that's a shitty move i totally forgot by the way that like i live in a place and that people might come to me like my doorbell started ringing i was like what the fuck is that and i was like oh yeah like shut off all the lights i don't have any fucking candy i was so worried about like getting my kids shit that i didn't even think about that i had a responsibility like no way like have you ever passed out candy um my old house i did but we were at the very end of the block so like you know very few people made at that bottom of a hill so you have to walk up and down the hill so i I had like a couple, but, uh, I, I don't remember growing up. I mean, I think my mom and dad did a little bit growing up when I, the first year I had
Starting point is 01:10:13 my house in college station, I just didn't even know it was Halloween. Cause it was like, I was just, you know, mid twenties, just like running around working. I went out to run, which by the way, running stinks. I don't care. Like the only cardio I enjoy is stair stepper. That's beside the point. I stepped out of my house, started to go run, got maybe around the block and realized it was trick or treating time.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Turned right back around, went home, turned off all the lights and just hid in my room. Yeah. I was like, no, don't move. Don't make any sounds. Cause if they, if they sense you in there, they're going to ring that doorbell all night. Just don't move. Like, don't like I, cause I was always taught growing up. If the lights are off, you don't ring the doorbell. I don't think kids are taught that. No, Just don't move. Like, don't like I, cause I was always taught growing up. If the lights are off,
Starting point is 01:10:46 you don't ring the doorbell. I don't think kids are taught that. No, I don't think so either. Cause it happened every year. I just started just not being at home on Halloween. Have you ever like had your house vandalized? No. I mean,
Starting point is 01:10:55 other than like the toilet paper, like we went rolling, but that's it. Oh yeah. Did you, you never got egged? No. I'm trying to think if I did.
Starting point is 01:11:04 I had people shooting airsoft guns somehow through the backyard it had to have been one of our neighbors um like their kids they would shoot a bunch of airsoft guns into the pool which is very bad for pool pumps and that was when i realized i was way too young to be dealing with these problems i was like i am 26 years old and i am calling my neighbor's houses to ask who's shooting airsoft guns into my pool. That's what's funny too, is like kind of tying it into the Desmond conversation we were just having where people are like, people will characterize it as like, you know, you're
Starting point is 01:11:34 the old man, like old lady. But it's like, once you own something that costs you a lot of money and someone's fucking with it, you're like, oh, like fights was saying the other day, like, I i don't have a lawn but i don't think i want someone trampling all over it get get off the lawn you know like i think i understand it that's true i and you can characterize that as like boomer old crotchety whatever it's like yeah probably there's probably a reason why everyone who's like that age from that generation who owns things, who pays bills, who has kids, who has life is like, fuck everybody who makes this harder for me. Yeah, I think one time I gathered up all the airsoft pellets. I was very drunk.
Starting point is 01:12:13 So I'll tell you, I was probably irresponsible at first and I gathered them all up. I put them in an envelope and I walked around to the neighbor's house. I thought it was and wrote just like this, like such a Karen note. Like, can you please stop shooting these airsoft and the next that just makes it worse it makes it oh i was drunk and i thought it was like the way i was like i don't feel like you know like confronting these people yeah listen i'll tell you leaving notes oh no doesn't work oh i learned my lesson because guess what the next day there were double the amount of airsoft pellets in my backyard so i i put out a video the other day on my Instagram. If you want to go get the full,
Starting point is 01:12:46 full fury and passion of it. I never did it on this show here. The, the parking wars that I'm engaged in now, we might as well do it. It's Friday. Yeah, no,
Starting point is 01:12:54 I mean that, that, that guy I parked. So my, on my block, there is street cleaning and you have to move twice a week. You have to move your car from one side to the other. And so it's like a suburb,
Starting point is 01:13:04 but that's like a very city thing. So we're somewhere in the middle and everybody's got to move twice a week. You have to move your car from one side to the other. And so it's like a suburb, but that's like a very city thing. So we're somewhere in the middle and everybody's got to move their cars. And if you don't have a driveway, it's street parking. And so sometimes you're parked in front of your house and sometimes you're parked in front of your neighbor's house because it's a free for all, every man for himself. Try to find a spot as close as you can to your apartment.
Starting point is 01:13:20 And there are enough spots. The most you'll ever have to do is walk like a few houses away. I parked about one or two houses down from me and i got a note left on my rear view my side view mirror stuck the mirror the the sticky on and turned my mirror in and this guy thought that i was such a fucking dick move to touch someone else's car to write the note and the way he wrote it so he thought that i was trying to avoid paying for parking at the Metro North train stop. So he thought I drove like 90% of the way there, then parked and took up someone's free
Starting point is 01:13:52 neighborhood parking and then walked the rest of the way. So he said, please don't do this. After all, you don't live here. After all, sent me through the fucking roof. You don't live here after all. And I was like, it's kind of like in an email like per my last email yeah yeah oh really yes and like that guy that guy like bumped into me or it's kind of hard because the whole point was he didn't know whose car it was so he
Starting point is 01:14:17 had to leave a note but like if he had if you had run into those kids and said like please don't shoot the guns i think they'd be like okay fine you do the note and it's like a passive aggressive anonymous thing it's like oh it's on it's basically a challenge yes oh i learned i learned my lesson so i wrote my own note back like i was ready to like you know you want to you want to be speak to my manager i'll speak to your man like we're gonna go fucking over the top with it so since then that's been about like i don't know it's like a week or 10 days now i mean mean, I park. It hasn't really been that long. Maybe not. I don't know. Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's short.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I've been parking every single chance I can. I park in front of his house. I was contemplating parking there during the street cleaning because when everybody moves, that entire side is open and I could just get the ticket and park. How much is the ticket? It's not the ticket that bothers me. It's I don't pay the tickets and then i get a boot on my car this has happened to me twice now i have some sort of
Starting point is 01:15:12 it's almost like when i said my brain needs to just like be ready to go on a diet yeah like my brain just will not let me pay a ticket like immediately i'm just like i'll pay that later i'll pay that later i'll pay that later and then there i have like four or five past due and they come around and they scan your license plate and they know if you have like too many tickets and they put a boot on your car and then that's a fucking catastrophe. So having a boot on your car is terrible. Yes. So I'm like,
Starting point is 01:15:36 all right, it's not worth that. But every Tuesday, every Thursday, Wednesday and Thursday, I see a whole fucking strip wide open and I could just park my car. And the way it is, it's like there's two car lengths between two driveways. But if you park right in the middle, it cuts it down to one.
Starting point is 01:15:53 And I'm like, I could do that every time. And I'll just sacrifice the ticket and just fucking ruin this guy. Have you talked to him since that? No, I haven't seen him. I saw his. So I came home the day after and his wife and the other neighbor were talking and they were pointing and just gesticulating and i was like you're talking about me and the other neighbor is larry and larry puts the garbage can in front of his
Starting point is 01:16:14 house he saves a spot so one day he's a nice guy he's always like where are the kids of course his name is larry yes it has to be always super nice to the kids a little bit weird but whatever and one day i thought it was just that the garbage man like left it on the street so i moved it and parked my car and he came over knocked on my door and said he has a sickly mother but i think the way he worded it it was weird it was almost like i think his mom is now gone i think she died and i think he's just like used to doing this. He was like, I used to save it for my mother. And it was like, she's not coming around anymore. Like she's not, she's not around anymore. So I'm like, this sounds like something you needed to do
Starting point is 01:16:55 for someone who was like not capable. And it sounds like you're just continuing to do it. But the fact that he just came over and said it to me. I had so many questions about that. So do I, but I was just like, okay, because he thinks she's still alive. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:17:08 I was just, all right, I'm not, I'm not going to fuck with it. We'll just move right past. Cause like you came over, you did it the right way. It's kind of a fucking annoying dick thing,
Starting point is 01:17:15 but like you just came over and you said it to me. And you're also not going to be like, well, show me your mom. That's the thing. Like, so now he has a reason whether it's real or not. I'm not going to fuck with you.
Starting point is 01:17:24 You'll leave a note on my car and I'm and i'm just itching for a reason i have like two years of frustration i just want to like let out on some guy that i don't really fucking know or care about so now i'm seeing now larry's ratcheting up the fucking garbage can because i think he's like well i gotta save my spots and then there's spite like throughout all of this the other day monsooning in my neighborhood and i see this fucking asshole jogging and juggling larry no it's just another guy oh and i'm just like what is this neighborhood okay i got this guy leaving notes i got this guy saving spaces i got this guy juggling while jogging in a category four hurricane i hate
Starting point is 01:18:02 everybody on this block i saw that video and I will be honest. I was very invested in the parking wars. I was confused because the first guy, the note guy, you, I think you described him as like a fat walrus. I don't even know. And I was like,
Starting point is 01:18:13 so wait, the guy that's running and juggling can't be the first guy. It's another fucking guy in the hood though. I'm like, what's wrong with you people? Is anybody here? Normal. First of all,
Starting point is 01:18:23 running and juggling seems incredibly difficult, super difficult. And it was, it it was actually it was a tweet that i had saved in my drafts because i thought i sent it out like it was last week i think when there was like sheets of rain coming down so i was opening up my drafts i was like oh shit this never sent so i sent it out luckily it was raining yesterday so it kind of looked like it was all good uh but i just hate everybody on this block now i'm just like i'm ready to burn this motherfucker down. How long are you going to continue to park there? Every single chance I can. I love every single chance. Oh,
Starting point is 01:18:49 I love it. I am way too petty. I have way too much other shit to deal with where I'm like, this doesn't even fucking register on my block, dude. Like, like you think that this is going to weigh on me at all. The shit that I got to deal with.
Starting point is 01:19:00 I look forward to this. My faceless, anonymous, fat walrus neighbor, not liking me does not even crack like the top 25 of shit. I got to deal with. I look forward to this. My faceless, anonymous, fat walrus neighbor not liking me does not even crack like the top 25 of shit I got to worry about. It actually probably brings you a little bit of joy.
Starting point is 01:19:11 Oh, it does. When I got in my car, I was going, I was dropping, what was I doing? I was just running some errands and I was like, I can't wait to get back
Starting point is 01:19:20 to write a response note and go stick it on. And I walked over like, fucking high stepping like let's go and by the grace of god he was pulling in so i got to have like a full-blown confrontation i was like thank you i loved it it was a gift and the main thing is like i'm like bro you are content now you might not realize this i have to keep this up you might come over and be like you know what never mind i'm sorry and i'd be like sorry dude
Starting point is 01:19:45 the people want to see the tweets yeah we gotta keep doing this that's the the thing whenever like random people jump into whether it's like twitter wars or instagram or even obviously in person that they don't realize that they're or and if they do they don't really fully comprehend right until it's too late and then it's like well i want we do this for a living like this is what we do it's like you cannot out you send you want to have a war of words like writing quick little quips at each other on notes i do that literally for a living you will not beat me or it's like whenever people send weird shit to the office it's like what are you possibly thinking that you're doing to yourself into your life right now right you want to write a penny note you want to send some underwear much worse for you dude so much worse like we we i thrive in this chaos it's like bane
Starting point is 01:20:31 i was born in it like i this is not even a problem dude and also once you get used to it obviously you deal with it way more than i do because you've been here longer and you're bigger following all that but it's like at first when you first start dealing with it it like kind of still gets to you yeah once you get used to it you're just kind of like i don't give a fuck about this it's like listen i'm gonna go back and forth with you and then i'm just gonna move on and do something else a lot of those people are gonna sit there and be like oh fuck like i i blocked some guy on instagram the other day that's my new favorite thing to do if like people are like real assholes not just like saying mean things like that's fine that's gonna happen
Starting point is 01:21:01 if you're like a super asshole on instagram i'm private so i can just block you like you you followed me to see my stuff i'm just gonna block you you're out i did it to a guy the other day i don't even remember exactly what he said but it was just something that was just like i think it's about my sister it was really rude he dm'd marty was it jared yeah it wasn't jared he damn and like i was it was like on a night i was just like with like my girlfriends marty texted me a screenshot and this guy was like begging marty to get me to unblock him and i was like well he shouldn't have been talking how funny is that it's like shouldn't have been talking shit i mean and also like let's say i was one of those assholes as soon as i was blocked i would never have the like i would never grovel to get back in gro Grovel to somebody that has zero control over it.
Starting point is 01:21:45 Are you fucking pathetic? That's what I said to Marty. I was like, first of all, the guy shouldn't have been talking shit. Second of all, why does he think you have any control over who I am? What you do. Yeah. I could see if somebody said something to you. It's like we do radio together.
Starting point is 01:21:56 It's like, hey, I called and said something mean to Casey, whatever. Not even, though. Not even. Everybody runs their own fucking accounts. Right. I may take it into consideration if you're like, Hey, you know, like he got it wrong. But this guy's talking shit on Instagram. Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:22:09 How about Marty? Just like refusing to understand the planet and the water, you know, the walls. And I know I shouldn't even like engage in this, but I, I, it's so frustrating that I'm just going to continue to show him examples of the walls. Marty, if you don't know, has been baffled by how the earth holds its oceans and how he understands that there are like four walls and a bottom to a pool. But how come the oceans don't have that and feidelberg has been screaming at him for a week now that uh it does have fucking walls that the land and the beaches and the cliffs and the mountains all serve as those same walls that a goddamn pool has it just doesn't look the same marty pft dropped an even bigger piece of
Starting point is 01:23:00 knowledge not even just the the land and the reefs and all that stuff. He was talking about how gravity at the bottom of the ocean brings it down to the bottom. Here's the thing. I wasn't here for day one of it. I don't remember. So we were here. When was game seven? When was game seven? I put up the day two of
Starting point is 01:23:19 the ocean argument because it started again. And what's the funniest thing about Marty, which I've said, I'm like, I speak mush. I'm team captain because I understand how fucked up his brain is. This one, I can't figure out because he's been given every single reason why there are
Starting point is 01:23:35 actual walls. He's just being stubborn. I don't know though. Cause like yesterday he was like talking about, we were talking about directions, like North, South, East and West.
Starting point is 01:23:43 And like, now you start getting Marty on directions. It was on this one program he i was explaining to jared why marty thinks north is going straight and south is going backwards and i could explain it knowing what marty meant but also you think when you're like you're a kid right also but like i can't find a rational reason with the oceans which makes me think two things one he's just being stubborn and won't listen or two he's actually that much of an alien which i think both are possible alien he's an idiot i john i mean you obviously know john better than anybody in this
Starting point is 01:24:17 entire place like john doesn't yell and scream like that john does not get upset he is so mad and talking about the minute clip that i put out the other night there were so many good one-liners like for sure not was one of the best ones for marty but marty was off camera and i and john goes i can't argue with you because it's just so stupid and in the background you just hear marty go well that was insulting like that's just like what they're dealing with it's just well like he he this guy fucking agrees with mush. This is the problem too, is that there's a bunch of idiots who are like, yeah, what do you, what do you mean?
Starting point is 01:24:50 Why? My missions were. How can you guys, how can you guys actively say, I listen, listen, I agree with you guys that Marty's missing the ball a little bit, but I also agree with Marty's good point of how can the ground be a wall? Because the ground, like it doesn't just go flat. But when you have a pool, there's literal walls. Like, there's literal walls.
Starting point is 01:25:13 Right, okay, but so, like, I showed him a picture. Marty was stupid. Shush! I showed him a picture yesterday of the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, which are, like, those are a fucking wall. It's, like, a straight fucking up and down wall. That is, like, the wall are a fucking wall. It's like a straight fucking up and down wall. That is like the wall of a fucking pool. Now I understand a beach doesn't look like that, but that's just like a water level thing. It's like at some point the beach, the beach like gradually goes down. And listen, I'm not a fucking plate tectonic scientist, so I don't know the
Starting point is 01:25:40 exact everything either, but like a beach has a flat ground that slowly like gradients down and eventually there's usually like a sandbar drop off and that's where the fucking water is sitting in. Like as a kid, when you would swim out into the ocean to like go find where the waves break,
Starting point is 01:25:55 all of a sudden you're like, you're like, you're at your thigh level and then all of a sudden you step one thing and you are like weighing over your head because it's a wall.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Because it's a wall. Because it's a hundred feet or whatever because it's like a flat wall. When I was a kid i was a kid i was surprised it didn't leak i honestly was but you were a kid but you were a kid yeah he's an adult okay then explain pools that have beaches with them because you go to water parks and there are pools that have three walls and then they have a little beach on them how they do that they have the beach and then you walk a little bit further and there's an in-ground pool wall. It's the same thing. Or like an infinity pool.
Starting point is 01:26:27 There's an edge and it just slightly spills over. Sometimes it has that grate that drains into it. That's like the beach. There's a wall and then the water level is above the wall so it spills over a little bit, which is where you swim and body surf. And it goes up the beach. But then there's a certain level where it falls, where there's a deep, like, semi-type of flat up and down, quote-unquote, wall.
Starting point is 01:26:50 This is insane. What's this guy saying? That example of RLF is bullshit. But you just— That example— No, hold on, hold on. It's not bullshit. It's like, it's exactly that.
Starting point is 01:26:58 He also just said, what about a wave pool? You just used our argument. Yeah, they can recreate wave pools like they do oceans. There's walls there. That's because that's the way the ocean is. Because they have wave pools like the beaches are. Where do you think wave pools come from? The fucking beach in the ocean.
Starting point is 01:27:15 It's the same thing. Marty was dumb for saying that tectonic plates aren't real. Because tectonic plates are real. But your guy's argument that the ground is also a wall isn't right. Okay, what about sea level? What about sea level? You're getting caught up in semantics here that it's like a wall goes up and down and ground goes fucking side to side parallel. It's just like if you were to just drain all of the water off the planet, you would have a round ball and parts of it have like deep caverns and deep dips that feel very
Starting point is 01:27:46 much like a pool is it going to be 90 degrees up and down no but it's very deep and can hold water and some of it's going to be on the side and some of it will be on the bottom but it's all ground some are mountains some are cliffs some things are high some things are low but it all holds the water you fucking moron. It's like a bowl. It's like having a bowl, right? Like, it's not flat. It's round. That's what the ocean is. Honestly, I want to go back to this
Starting point is 01:28:13 wave pool thing. What the fuck was your point with the wave pool? It has walls? What is a wave pool made after? Okay, so a wave pool, right? A wave pool, you have the two walls on either side, so that way the water just doesn't leak out. Well, where is the water leaking out in the ocean?
Starting point is 01:28:31 It's not. Guess what? Because a wave pool is made after the fucking ocean. No, no, no, no, no. That's not? Where else did the wave pool come from? Did some guy just sit around and be like, you know what would be really cool?
Starting point is 01:28:40 If I'm sitting in a pool that has the waves moving around in the gravity, it's made from the fucking ocean. That's where waves come from. Nobody sat at home and was like, I'm going to make an in-ground pool that has water spilling over like mountains. It's from the ocean. That's what it's from. Well, when the way the world was made,
Starting point is 01:28:59 it was just the way the world was made. When God made the world, it was just so the water could stay there. There's no walls. When God made the world. And I'm not going to argue with that part but how does the water stay in because everybody has heard of sea level right new orleans is below sea level that was the whole problem with hurricane katrina some things are above sea level guess what those walls in the ocean are higher than in fucking new orleans it's not hard to figure out it's like if those cliffs that i showed if the water was higher it would like spill over the
Starting point is 01:29:29 cliffs but those cliffs would still be there quote unquote that hold honestly i had never so it drives me crazy that the phone lines lit up like no i love this is the stupidest thing and listen i'm not gonna yell at marty's brilliant he's a genius marty is so good, but this is the problem is that I've sat down with Marty so many times, whether it's in front of a microphone, it's in the office, whatever, and he has these things, and he's like, you know what?
Starting point is 01:29:51 Yeah, I can see it. That guy that just called in, he believed that somebody made a wave pool because they wanted waves in the pool, but there were walls. I guess let's hit a break. We're over a break right now, and stay on the line
Starting point is 01:30:04 if you want to talk about fucking pools and walls and water. I guess let's hit a break. We're over break right now and stay on the line. You want to talk about fucking pools? I won't scream anymore, but water. I can't imagine there can be much more compelling conversation about this, but let's go. We'll be back after the break. What the dough? Where'd the love go? Five, four, three, Outro Music Put the gun aside. What the fuck? I sleep with the gun. If she don't snow. Where the love go?
Starting point is 01:30:50 Trade the ski mask for the muzzle. It's a bloodbath. Where the slugs go? It's a Swiss B. That'll drugs go. If she's iffy, that'll drugs go. If she's stiff, lean, double cup toast. I got a duffel.
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Starting point is 01:32:49 Give me the read. I'll do it in the middle of this. We're back. We've been arguing about the water because Marty Mush is a fuck. There's that fucking moron now. I'm not even going to pull him in there, in here, because I know he's just going to go, put the walls, put the walls. He's not going to make any fucking points.
Starting point is 01:33:04 The water. I can't do it. But, okay go, put the walls, put the walls. He's not going to make any fucking points. The water. I can't do it. But okay, we have a geologist on the line. Maybe Steve, because like I said, I know like kind of inherently what's going on, but a lot of this falls under the umbrella of I don't get it the same way. It's like, I don't know how fucking planes fly and boats float, but they just do. And I understand the basic concepts, but maybe Steve can say it in a way that people are going to shut the fuck up and understand about it.
Starting point is 01:33:30 Yeah. So you, what's going on guys, you guys, you guys hit the nail on the head. Uh, thank you. Let's go. Kevin, why John's frustrated the oceans. I mean, there's been oceans all over the world, multiple times, they're changing shape and size all the time. And so, like, so the Gulf of Mexico opened up, you know, like 120 million years ago. And it used to be, you know, like the size of eventually was the size of a lake that just grew in the Atlantic Ocean is growing. And so if you took all the water out, if you took all the water out, they'd be deeper than the Grand Canyon.
Starting point is 01:34:04 They'd be miles deep if you took the water out. So I don't think these guys are getting how much water there is that it's barely lapping up on shore. There's giant bases that are full of water. You know, if we went into Kevin Costner water world here, like Mount Everest would be covered by water and there could be like, it could contain
Starting point is 01:34:19 like part of that mountainside or cliffside or whatever would be a quote unquote wall, right? Yeah, absolutely. There's a volcano in Hawaii that's actually, if you took it pound for pound, the highest, it would be the highest mountain in the world, except it's all the way down. It starts all the way down at the bottom of the ocean. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:34:35 I mean, these are some pretty fucking basic things that, you know, Marty always lives on the edge of like, what's real, what's not. We don't know what's going on in that brain. The people who are calling up, not like really defending it, are the ones who are really scaring me. That's what I'm saying. It's because Marty is working at Barstool doing all these things for content. These people are calling up on their way to their real jobs that actually believe that geologists don't know what they're talking about. Right.
Starting point is 01:35:00 Yeah, well, I bet he's got Kyrie on his side. Thanks for the call, Steve. I appreciate you clearing some of it up oceanography was always something I was super interested in in college now granted that's very subjective because I wasn't really interested in anything but partying in college but I remember purposely taking oceanography classes because I wanted to learn about how waves work and I still it still is baffling to me but it's just simple science that if the water is not overflowing into the city of Manhattan, there is a wall in the ocean holding it back somewhere. I mean, it's not hard to figure out.
Starting point is 01:35:32 Right. It's almost annoying that you have to, like, fucking break it down. And while they're holding on to the name wall as if it's like the wall, the mural is a 90 degree thing. You know, it's like the wall that the mural is a 90 degree thing you know it's very frustrating you know what else is frustrating is not having a toothbrush that gets you a white pearly smile with white clean teeth well stop living in the past where you take think about how archaic a toothbrush is like the old ones you take a like a stick some bristles and just rub it around your mouth of course that's not the way to do it now you got to use quip quip has the uh the the brush
Starting point is 01:36:04 heads and the vibrating uh electric toothbrushes that will get you the best possible clean to give you the best possible smile. And the best part is it's built so that you build healthier habits. It's not just about industrial strength, power, or multiple modes, or the right materials. It helps you build healthier habits, which is the key to a healthier mouth, which is the key to a healthier and happier you. It's got timed modes, which lets you know when to switch from top to bottom, left to right, up and down.
Starting point is 01:36:35 It's built in for two minutes. I'll be honest, a two minute brush. It's a long time, Casey. It's a long time. It's a long time. Two minutes is a long time. I guarantee you brush for maximum, like maybe 60 seconds. And when you got to do a full two minutes, it's like, oh, hold the phone.
Starting point is 01:36:48 And what we're all doing is we're using bristles and brush heads that need to be replaced, like, way more frequently than we do. So that's where Quip comes in. You go to getquip.com slash Clancy, and your first refill pack on the bristles and the brush heads are for free. They come to you on a dentist- three month schedule. So every single three, every three months you get a new brush head, you replace it. Then that's, well, you know, you get the right bristles cleaning the teeth the right way. Right now you can get it for free. The first one, first refill pack at getquip.com, G E T Q U I P.com slash Clancy by 25 bucks to get the brush, the toothbrush and your first refill pack is for free. Back to the calls. You think that
Starting point is 01:37:28 these people who are brushing their teeth at a sink understand that a sink technically has walls? No, they don't. It's round. It can't be a wall. Guess what? You stop that drain up and you keep the water running. You got an ocean. If you keep the water coming, it's going to overflow. You know what a lake is, right?
Starting point is 01:37:44 Imagine it's a bigger fucking lake. That's the ocean. Jake from Knoxville, what's going to overflow. Like, yeah, you know what a lake is, right? Like, imagine it's a bigger fucking lake. That's the ocean. Jake from Knoxville, what do you got? Hey, guys. I have, I guess you could say, half of a geological engineering degree. But I live in Knoxville, and we're right next to one of the shitty theme parks, Dollywood. And they have a wave pool there. And the way that they do the wave pool is that there's a machine that, you know,
Starting point is 01:38:05 pushes out the water and then brings it back in. It's not like it has to have walls to have it hold in. It's kind of like, you know, with the ocean and everything, like the tide rises and the tide goes back. It's not like there are walls under there, but you know, the ocean is deeper than the highest point of the earth. So there's definitely room for it to you know not overflow and plus like i live around a bunch of lakes they they don't have they do have walls at that top the lakes but then they also have you know dams right are yeah yeah it overflows you gotta build some some shit's man-made some stuff's like fully covered yeah i mean it's what's wild to me is what he mentioned there how the ocean
Starting point is 01:38:45 is is deeper than the the mount evers is high i mean when they when they go deep deep sea the shit that they find those fish that have like no eyes because it's too dark and they like make their own light because it's pitch black it's like there's aliens there's aliens on earth they're just under the ocean they're just really far down like if you were to find that on another planet you'd be like oh my god look at this alien creature it's like they're there just go to the bottom of the marianas trench you're gonna see some shit that you did not know fucking even was possible the people who go down there in those in those pods that can like handle the pressure and shit that shit that i mean that's as scary as going to space you're at the bottom of the ocean. If something goes wrong, you're fucked.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Oh, yeah. Big fucked. Did you ever see The Meg? No. The movie about the gigantic shark from the depths of the ocean, which is from prehistoric times. It's awesome. I can't watch it. It's really awesome.
Starting point is 01:39:36 It sucks because I love the ocean like I do. I love the beach, but I can't watch a lot of those shows because of the clusters of fish. Oh, by the way. Oh, no. I hope you didn't see my Instagram the other day with the pumpkins. Oh, Kevin. Those must drive you crazy. can't watch a lot of those shows because of the clusters of fish oh by the way oh no did i hope you didn't see my instagram the other day with the pumpkins oh as much drive you crazy kevin the pumpkins with the tumors oh i almost tagged you in it and i didn't i saw it and i was so mad that you didn't text me and warn me that felt like something you would text me you should be
Starting point is 01:40:00 lucky that i didn't tag you so you should should, okay, say thank you. No. You're welcome because I could have tagged you. Well, I saw it anyways because I look at your Instagram. Have you ever seen the people who have like the bubble face? Yeah. Like those people I think should legitimately just call it a day. Just end it. When you have one of those faces that have like the tumors all over it, like the
Starting point is 01:40:19 little bubbles, those are gross. Casey's out. She's checked out. Tom from Wisconsinisconsin more talk about pools hey what's up uh first time long time i usually never call him but i felt like i had to on this one i do i have an engineering degree and i'm here to talk about in above ground pools it's the same thing as uh if you're looking at sea level, if regardless of how high that pool is, the water is still kept in. The ground is still lower.
Starting point is 01:40:50 So in that regard. And then back to a couple callers ago, guy dropping, God made the Earth during a scientific conversation. That's when I hung up on him. And I don't know if that was just him joking or throwing up the white flag or what, but I'm sure there are people who actually believe that too,
Starting point is 01:41:06 who are like, well, no, it just can't be. The reason that there's the ocean is because God said so. My conspiracy theory is that he said that, so I would stop yelling at him. Yeah, I do think that. Carlos from New Jersey says he has a bone to pick with you, Casey. What's up, Carlos? What's going on, guys? I mean, by the way, it's 2.45.
Starting point is 01:41:22 We get off at 3 on a Friday. Make this one count, Carlos. Yeah. Calling up to pick a bone with someone.45. We get off at 3 on a Friday. Make this one count, Carlos. Yeah. Calling up to pick a ball with someone. I am. But first of all, Kevin, so imagine you have young kids like I do. And imagine that your town actually postpones Halloween. Some kids don't get the memo.
Starting point is 01:41:41 What does that mean, though, by the way? Like they post it somewhere on the internet and expect everyone to, like, agree to it? Because it's like, what if I had shit to do tonight? Basically, basically that's what happened. So, well, some kids didn't get the memo. So after I put the kids to sleep, a four-year-old and a one-year-old, the doorbell starts ringing. My doorbell.
Starting point is 01:41:59 Oh, fuck. 39 o'clock. The dogs barking. Kids are crying. No. Oh, that's the worst. I would have gone outside and put up a sign that said, like, come by tomorrow, fuck off. I really think I would have.
Starting point is 01:42:09 That is brutal. So now I got to redo, relive that whole experience again today. Yeah, that sucks. So anyway, my bone to pick with Casey is earlier you said something that it was weird that, you know, if the daughter was dressed up as Jasmine, that the dad can't be Aladdin or something. My daughter actually asked me to be Beast and she's Belle. Is that weird?
Starting point is 01:42:34 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think it's weird. I'm saying that if you're going to be doing the family picture and the mom wants to be Jasmine, that it would be weird if the dad was Aladdin. I mean, I think if you're picking it as a parent, there's probably like a little, if you ran up it as a parent, there's probably a little... If you ran up and you were like, well, I don't know. It's all pretty harmless.
Starting point is 01:42:49 I get it. It's a little funny, but it's harmless. Your daughter asked for it. I'll do fine. Yeah, exactly. If the daughter wants to be Jasmine, I was operating under the fact that the daughter didn't care. Yeah. Got it. One of my best guy friends went as Woody and took his daughter as the...
Starting point is 01:43:04 From Toy Story. What's her name? Annie. Annie. It was really cute. But I'm saying if the mom wanted to dress up as Jasmine, it would be weird for her to be like, no, I want the daughter. If the daughter wants to be Jasmine, of course you let the daughter be Jasmine. If your daughter comes to you and is like
Starting point is 01:43:20 daddy, I want you to be this. But if it's a family thing, it's like the Kardashians did the actual family Did you go all out with Beast? That's a hard costume Oh yeah well it's actually pretty easy I think what's that That store in the mall
Starting point is 01:43:36 That has miscellaneous bullshit Spencer's You can catch Answer the Internet Actually the only place right now that Answer the Internet Is still available is on the shelves of Spencer's Gifts. Are they really? I'm going to go tonight. But anyway, they had actually a onesie of the beast, so that was pretty easy.
Starting point is 01:43:54 I mean, I'm sure that was a really cute costume. Was it just the two of you guys that went like that? No, actually, my wife, she was, she's, I'm forgetting my son, so this was last year. So she was Mrs. Potts, and she had a shirt with a teacup or something on it. Yeah, see, I like that. Well done. If the kid wants it, and that's why everybody's dressing up, it's one thing. If it's like a family thing where it's like the families are putting it together,
Starting point is 01:44:18 and the mom is like, oh, I'm Jasmine, then everybody has their role. That's more what I was saying. Good job out of you, Carlos. Godspeed tonight. I would put out a sign. Or just do the thing where saying. Good job out of you, Carlos. Godspeed tonight. I would put out a sign or just do the thing where you put the bowl out and be like,
Starting point is 01:44:28 don't ring the doorbell. That's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to yell at him from the ring doorbell. You know what? Just sit on the porch with a gun and be like, take your candy and go.
Starting point is 01:44:35 Don't fucking wake my kid. I have a question really quick. So how did you get the memo that it was canceled? Actually, there was a local at the convenience store, Wawa. They had a sign.
Starting point is 01:44:48 And that's the only way I saw it. That's crazy that people, they would think everybody would see that. It's not like the old days were like, like I say, the old days. Like when I was a kid, if it was like a snow day, you turned on like the local news in the morning. And it was like, your school was canceled. I'm sure that doesn't work anymore either. Nobody's watching that. No, I know.
Starting point is 01:45:01 I know my school, I think, still does like the phone chain. But like like i think a lot of it is just like go look on the website too huh but i mean you can't just like cancel a whole holiday when somebody you know if you have to go somewhere or do something or whatever it's like no kids it's tonight because tomorrow we like we got to go do xyz and it was because of the weather yeah like my day we just went out in the fucking rain boomer 2011 or 2012, whenever Hurricane Sandy hit, they canceled it statewide in New Jersey. Well, that's a little different. Yeah, that was tough because when we went back to school,
Starting point is 01:45:31 I was the only one that dressed up for the makeup Halloween. I was a freshman in high school wearing a blue morph suit all day and I didn't bring a change of clothes. Oh, and that's such a bad age to do that. That'll stick with you for the rest of your fucking life. Yeah, that's like the age where it's like
Starting point is 01:45:45 you can't blame it on the parents but you're not old enough to just like straight up own it and be like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, you're just sitting there like 15 years old. You were just miserable all day,
Starting point is 01:45:52 weren't you? You were just like sweating and fucking like, God damn it, this is the worst. That's sad. One time I got talked into wearing like my like track medals
Starting point is 01:46:01 to school. I think it was eighth grade. Everyone was like, oh, we all wear our track medals to school. Kevin think it was eighth grade. Everyone was like, oh, we all wear our track medals to school. Kevin, not everyone. Not even Halloween. This is just like a prank. No, this was like some Happy Gilmore 19th Green shit. Yeah, this was like
Starting point is 01:46:14 everyone wears their track medals. You should definitely make sure that you do. And then I showed up to school the next day with my track medals on and I was the only one. That is the meanest. It wasn't very nice. Mean girls are just the worst. Yeah, it was mean.
Starting point is 01:46:30 They really are. They'll just fucking, they'll give a bitch an eating disorder real quick. But guess what? I was so skinny that they made up that I had an eating disorder. Macy. Macy.
Starting point is 01:46:39 Yeah, but you know what? Most of those mean girls, they've come around trying to slide up in the Instagram like, hey girl, I'm in New York. I bet you are, you fucking bitch. Fuck you. Bring your track medals and maybe we can talk. Remember that time in eighth grade, Susan?
Starting point is 01:46:51 You remember that? You should be like, yeah, come by like Barstool Sports. Like bring, like wear this because we love that. And then just fucking point and laugh at her. I actually love that idea. Yeah. That's actually not a bad idea. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:47:01 I would only do it to people that really deserved it, but I've got a list. Speaking of, a very weird, like, tell me what you think about this. I'm not going to, like, say who it was, but I got a text message from somebody today. I didn't have the number saved, and I got to scroll back, because I think this is one of the weirdest moves
Starting point is 01:47:14 I've seen in a long time. So obviously they have my number. My number hasn't changed since I graduated from college. So if you knew me in college, you still have it. He said, hey, I'm trying to communicate better and keep in touch with folks. It's, insert name, random i know dot dot dot how is the east coast this person trying to fuck i made out with oh he's definitely trying to fuck one time my junior year of college and like he was like like kind of the the fringe of the fringe of the fringe group like when we
Starting point is 01:47:42 would go out to the bar we we like maybe would see him. Yeah, he's definitely trying to fuck. But like that is so strange. That was probably 2010. I haven't seen him since probably 2011. And it's almost 2020. Just throwing fucking, throwing against the wall, you know?
Starting point is 01:48:01 Fine, shoot or shoot. Cast a wide net. Fine, shoot or shoot. What do you have to say about the, I'm just trying to keep in touch and communicate better with folks? That sounds to me like someone who's like going through recovery or something like that.
Starting point is 01:48:12 Like I need to like reach out to people or I need to keep in touch. Which would make sense if we had any significant amount of a relationship. Yeah, no, that guy is just coming up with random ways to get in contact with someone he's trying to fuck. I just, I get weird DMs, weird texts texts like we all do at all no what am i gonna say oh how's everything how's the east coast great and he's back in texas i'm assuming i kevin i don't know
Starting point is 01:48:36 i haven't i haven't talked to him in like eight years it is so strange to me there is a difference too when like when like you said kind of like like you said, you're a notable person now. I don't think he's doing that to just everyone in his class. Of course not. But does this work? Apparently not. Look at your reaction. The other day, I had one of my—
Starting point is 01:48:57 Such a fine line. You never know. If this guy was super hot, you'd be like, what's up, man? No, I wouldn't. From college? No, I wouldn't. If he was super, super hot and you liked him back then, you would. No, because I't. From college? No, I wouldn't. He was like super, super hot. You liked him back then.
Starting point is 01:49:05 You would. No, because I see straight through it because that's the thing. Right. But that's you can do it if it's, you know, a lot of the things that you do are just like packaging ways to hit on someone. Of course. You know what I mean? And it's like, I know what you're doing, but whatever.
Starting point is 01:49:17 And it was a nice and I'm not saying it was like creepy. I'm saying it was just a strange. It's like that wouldn't have been the way I would have gone about that. I would have maybe said something along the lines of, hey you on barstool the other day hey been watching the show i'm gonna be on the east coast yeah like you know i know it's been a long time don't know if this is weird but would love to grab a drink oh that would have worked way better not like i'm trying to communicate with folks better right i had one of my girlfriend's ex-boyfriends from college dm me to one of my instagram photos the other day and was like
Starting point is 01:49:45 hey girl forgot you were in new york make sure i'll hit you up next time i was like dude i know you used to fuck my friend for two years well how does how would any of this work you know there's just you know sometimes these things do work and it's just like they definitely depending on if you know there's you want you want them to work. Like all of these things, every pickup line and every attempt is kind of like stupid or transparent or weird. But if it's someone you want to talk to, you'll be like, oh, that's cute. And if it's someone you don't like, you're like, this is fucking weird. I don't, but I, the, I completely agree.
Starting point is 01:50:17 Cause I, I, they've definitely worked. We went on like a whole, I don't know. I guess it was on unnecessary roughness. Brandon thinks it's so weird. They're like Instagram DMS or how like people hook up and date these days. Like, yeah, that is exactly how it works.
Starting point is 01:50:27 I think pretty much everybody in the office that's not in a serious relationship would say they've had some sort of interaction solely from Instagram. But I do think that there is something to be said when it's like, just come out and say like, I have either slid in DMS or sent text messages to people and just been very transparent. Like,
Starting point is 01:50:43 Hey, I saw this was thinking about you I know this may be weird but like what's up yeah yeah yeah yeah what's hard about that much better be transparent about your slides I also love that you want to let you don't want to like poison like the well on yourself and be like you know this is weird it's like oh yeah well maybe don't
Starting point is 01:50:58 say it's weird but just like I know this may be random yeah yeah yeah or like like out of nowhere like or just be like yo you trying to fuck keep it that work what if I sent you one of those like Or like out of nowhere. Or just be like, yo, you trying to fuck? Would that work? What if I sent you one of those bitmoji, like the dog thing and I just said, trying to fuck? Would a guy have success doing that?
Starting point is 01:51:15 Trying to fuck! Then you start to say, who is it, what do they look like, and would I be interested in hooking up with them? What you're saying is it's a maybe. You're saying there's a chance, Kevin. That's it for us. Chicks in the office are up next. Enjoy your hollow weekend with them? What you're saying is it's a maybe. They're saying is there's a chance, Kevin. That's it for us. Chicks in the office are up next.
Starting point is 01:51:27 Enjoy your holoweekend, whatever it is you're doing. Go get the Barstool merch. We got blue hoodies, red hoodies, olive joggers, the teddy bear sherpa. It's all fire. Viva Crops. Shout out all the girls that wore those for Halloween. Go get it right now on store at the Barstools. And ATI sold out.
Starting point is 01:51:40 Wait till next week.

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