KFC Radio - Chicks In The Office, Porn Blockers, Live In A Restaurant, and Jeans vs Pajamas

Episode Date: September 27, 2018

Ria & Fran join the show to talk about their People's Choice nomination (#ChicksInTheOffice #ThePopPodcast #PCAs) and checking IG stories. KFC and Feits debate jeans vs pajamas and discuss the Barstool hit pieces and the blue check brigade. Voicemailsinclue: What fast food restaurant would you want to live in, Happy Bangiversar, GF blocks porn, What if the podcast broke upYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio. Today is September 27th. The weather has turned. Fall is here. It's got that crisp autumn air. And you and I have already declared it so. It's boot season. Yes, it is. And, you know, I hear it a lot because, a lot because people always make fun of me for wearing sneakers. And sometimes they're right.

Sometimes you've got to graduate from your sneakers and put on a nice quality pair of boots because the boots are versatile. The boots you can wear casually. The boots you can wear professionally. You can wear them on a date. You can wear them out to a fancy place. But you can also just throw a pair of jeans on, knock them around, and you're just kind of like a rugged guy running around town in a nice pair of boots. You also get an inch of height. Oh, and that's huge.

Pretty big. I mean, how many times has a girl called in and just been like, I like this guy, but he's like only 5'11". I wish he was 6 feet. Guess what? You're 6 feet now. Put on a pair of boots. Get the girl of your dreams.

You got to be careful. You can't go the Costanza route and end up having to wear Tim's all the time. But in the shower wearing your boots, you can't give up your height. So we declared a boot season. We love the boots so much that we decided to head over to Thursday Boots. They got a studio showroom, a little factory right around the corner from our office, actually. We ran up in there. We picked out some materials.

They showed us some things, picked out some colors, some styles. We put together a Barstool boot. God damn it. We designed boots, motherfucker. We designed boots. Is there anything these guys can't do? Are you kidding me? We got a fresh pair of Barstool boots.

I'll tell you what. This is one of the bigger things. Oh, yeah. Starting a podcast. Pretty cool. Sure. Working for Barstool Sports. Pretty cool tell you what. This is one of the bigger things. Oh, yeah. Starting a podcast. Pretty cool. Sure. Working for Barstool Sports. Pretty cool.

All the stuff we've done. Very cool. Motherfuckers are fashion designers now. Fashionistas up in here. Son of a bitches. The clothes is one thing, too. We've been doing t-shirts forever. I call up my guy, Rich.

I'm like, we need to make some t-shirts and some sweatshirts and some joggers. You know, that's all kind of cookie cutter. You go make yourself a high quality pair of leather boots and all of a sudden you're game changing. And I'm going to be straight up. I'd tell you if I didn't like the boots I designed. Well, first of all, I wouldn't design them. I'd be like, well, let's change this.

Yeah. That's actually a really good point. I was like, we did design these. So there's no way we can be bullshitting. There's no way we can be like, yeah, no, we like these and we don't. We made them. So I picked out what these boots look like. And I'll tell you what, a little something behind the doors.

They got a couple of endorsements coming. I don't know if I can say this. We might have to cut it out. I'm going to say it anyway. Do it. Danny Amendola wanted our boots. That's right. He said, those are the ones I want to model.

He said, too bad. That's KFC Radio's boots. They honestly were like, Danny and are they together? No, they're not anymore, right? No, they're back together. They're back together. But at the time, it was pre-breakup. Olivia Coppola was like, I like these a lot.

And it was like, well, we're giving them to Barstool. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, bro. Kevin and John made those shits. So it's got like this light tan brown, like canvas upper. It's got the leather toe and heel, the crepe sole bottom.

They're comfortable. They got like the thick leather laces. You feel like a lumberjack. I'm tying up my boots. I was going to say strangling somebody. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's it. Sure.

You could probably kill someone with the laces. Hell yeah, you could. These are versatile. Hell yeah, you could. They're stylish and also a murder weapon. So the Barstool Thursday Boots collab is here. Having to wrestle a bear. These things will take them down.

You got it. Just pull out your laces. You got yourself a weapon. Barstool Thursday Boots Collab has arrived. Go to ThursdayBoots.com and find yourself the Barstool boot. You can get them shipped to you in two days when you use the promo code FreeShip2Day with the number 2. Starts at $149, free shipping and free returns.

Boot season's here. There's only one boot you should be wearing. Ours. We got a big episode. We're going to get into voicemails, as always. We got the chicks in the office who are now in the top five for the People's Choice Awards.

Hashtag chicks in the office. Hashtag PCAs. Hashtag Pop Podcast. You got it. Buck invite. Every single tweet with those three hashtags counts. So make sure you support our girls. So we'll get into all that.

But first, this is actually, unfortunately, this is the last episode I'll ever be doing with John. Because I can't fucking, I put up with a lot over the years. We all have our faults. We all have our, you know, skeletons. We put up with each other it's a relationship but every now and then at some point you you reach your breaking point in relationships and i have reached mine with yours you wacky motherfucker i don't think what i do is that first of all i got really scared for a second i thought you were quitting when it first started

this is the last one i was like oh shit really then i realized where we were going that is so telling that job was kind of like oh shit this is over i guess it's like all right i guess i guess it's good i've been doing a couple blogs recently i guess i'm prepared for this the uh no it is i mean it is though i can't tolerate look here's the deal man it is this I guess we haven't really gotten to the point it's a jeans debate it's a jeans or sweatpants athletic shorts whatever it is you wear in the house it kind of raged on twitter two nights ago

I wrote a blog about it yesterday and here's the deal with it I am super lazy and super conceited you mix those things together you have to look good while not changing Here's the deal with it. I am super lazy and super conceited. You mix those things together, you have to look good while not changing and shit like that. I walk in the house. First of all, this stems from childhood, like everything. This is a childhood thing where my mom used to yell at us whenever she saw us on the couch with athletic shorts.

Are you getting my couch sweaty? No! I didn't even work work out i'm seven and there was one time i've told the story before on the podcast where there's one time uh probably around squirts where i got i got stretched off ambulance came on the ice i got stretched off they thought i broke my neck so they had to cut off all my equipment and my mom was unhappy with me and it wasn't because equipment's expensive. It wasn't because we were late for my Aunt Mary's Christmas party over it.

It was because when the doctor rolled me over to make sure my C4 vertebrae wasn't shattered, she saw a tear in my underwear. There's a hole right in that asshole. She said it was hip. It was right hip. It was like up here. It was just tattered underwear. It was fucking, again, I was like a squirt. And she said, John Henry, always wear good underpants because you never know who's going to see them.

It's like 10. Freaky deaky, man. I was like, I don't even know. I'm pretty sure I know who's going to see them. It's going to be like me and you. That's it. Why don't you throw these away before you folded them and brought them back up to my room, lady? Go buy me more underwear.

I'm 10. And so that was a thing i took to heart fine and and i always i expanded it i made it i always dress good i always it's i think it was uh thomas henry i think said good clothes open all doors and so even if it's my own door i gotta open them in good clothes i don't fucking care i live with guys here's what i do uh i i'm an a grown adult male so i make my own door, I got to open them in good clothes. I don't fucking care. I live with gas. Here's what I do. I'm a grown adult male, so I make my own decisions. I don't let my mommy and the stories from my 10-year-old life dictate what I do today.

It's just stuff I've lived with my whole life. It's the way I am. I was raised, Kevin. You're living your life wrong. I was raised with a little something called class. We weren't traversing town to town, disappearing on hundreds of people. We weren't a bunch of fucking gypsies. OK, we were raised with a little class and a little style.

And it was you don't you don't treat the house like a locker room. If you're dancing, I have to stop you because this is insane. I don't know what you're talking about anymore. It's all stemmed. Dan put up a picture of him hanging out with his dog on his bed wearing a pair of jeans. Someone lashed out saying, Dan, are you wearing jeans in bed? Which I thought that was a little bit funny, but it is strange. It is strange to be wearing jeans in bed.

He wasn't in bed. He was on the couch. Fine. Late. It was after hours. Work done. You're on the couch watching TV with your dog. You should not be in your jeans.

John chimes in saying it is insane for people to change into comfortable pants. I have since admitted that was a bit much, okay? I admit changing into comfortable clothes is not a sign of mental illness. That was on me. A little bit of stretch. A little hard on the pain. You know, it's not like it's a sign of mental illness to not change. When I go home, changing into whatever you want to call it, sweatpants, lounge pants, pajama pants, however you describe it.

You're wearing lounge wear like some regular prostitute around the house. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. I am not going to let you spin this and frame this in any other way other than when you get home, you want to be comfortable. That's it. The most important part of my day is when I get home, I take my pants off immediately. I take whatever. I'm usually in a t-shirt.

I put on a new t-shirt. It's fresh. It's clean. It's comfortable. It's soft. I can move. I got freedom. I'm happy.

Literally, my happiness level goes through the roof. I start thinking about my sweatpants at like 1 p.m. I'm like, I just can't wait to get home. And jeans are not even that uncomfortable. Forget about it. If you wear a suit to work, that would change your whole life by the way. If you wore a suit, you would understand it. You would not sit around in your suit.

I've said this a million times. It's a fucking good thing I don't wear a suit to work every day. Because no one would be having sex. No one on this planet. I wear the fuck out of suits. John, you have like two suits. You have to wear one every day. I have four suits here. I have four suits in my closet here. I have about a hundred. I went to prep school, motherfucker.

I had to wear suits all the goddamn time. You would change absolutely like everyone else if you had to wear a suit. But I don't care if you wear jeans to work. I don't care if you wear a fucking... When I came home from school, in high school, I was in... It wasn't suit pants, but I was in a jacket and a tie and a shirt. A little businessman. I'm fucking changed.

Yeah, I mean, there's something wrong with you. I genuinely think you have mental issues. You have mommy issues, clearly. Oh, come on. You do. You just described them. I put up with a lot here. That's how you're raised. It's not mommy issues. It's how you're raised. When you are raised in such a way

that your behavior as an adult is wildly... That's just called people follow the way they were raised. I put the cups upright in the cabinet because that's how we did it in my house. That's not a fucking mommy issue. That's just tradition for me, how you were raised. When your tradition and your behavior is fucking psychotic

and it was instilled in you by your mommy, you have mommy issues. That's not mommy issues. That's not mommy issues. You're crossing a line. Polly issues. You're crossing a line here.olly? Polly? You have Polly issues. No, you're crossing a line here. I cannot even begin to describe how upset I was with you. Because I understand the laziness argument. You have to run upstairs.

I have so many arguments that make sense for me. Because, first of all, you said we just live different lives. When you go home, your day is done. I don't know. I don't know. Motherfucker, so is yours is done. I don't know. I don't know. Motherfucker, so is yours. No, I don't. You don't do a goddamn thing.

You always talk about how you don't do anything. But it's about being the puppy that I am where I don't go to bed until I know everyone else is in bed. I don't go. Fine. I don't get changed until I know everyone else is doing something else. I get my PJs at 7.13. But I can have someone call me. I'm comfortable for those five hours.

I can have someone call me and be like, hey, you want to grab a drink? Then you put your pants back on. That's the whole thing. It's much easier to just do that and be comfortable. By the way, again, again, again, nobody's calling you. And second of all, even if they do, you're not going. You're going to lie to them and not go out. No one's calling me.

You're probably right on all these. But I leave the door open. That's the point. And plus, jeans are uncomfortable. That's the big point here. They're way more uncomfortable. Jeans are not uncomfortable. They are way more uncomfortable than sweatpants.

Buddy, you're not wearing Mott & Bows apparently. Because I'll tell you what, these things are basically sweatpants. Bro, I love my Mott & Bows. They are the most comfortable jeans in the world. But the most comfortable jeans, the least comfortable sweatpants are still more comfortable than the most uncomfortable jeans. I disagree. I just don't find these remotely different. Then you need to get yourself a new pair of pajama pants.

You clearly don't have. You clearly have trashed pajama pants. I don't have pajama pants. I'm not fucking. You got trashed pajamas. I'm not Charlie's grandfather. I don't have pajamas. You should.

See, that's the other thing, too. Anybody who's trying to spin having pajamas as some sort of knock, you're crazy. That's like the ultimate sign of wealth and success. It is. I agree with that. I just don't have them. You do. You need to treat yourself as such.

I'm not walking around the house in pajamas. You've earned PJs, bro. Give me those pajamas. Jamas. When I have wealth and success, I will wear pajamas. I have neither at the moment. Well, you know what? I got it all. I got wealth. I got success. And I got wealth and success, I will wear pajamas. I have neither at the moment. Well, you know what? I got it all.

I got wealth, I got success, and I got my pajamas, okay? I got these pair of pants that I have. I mean, they're better than sex. It's a sexual experience when I put these pants on. They are, I don't even know, micromodal? I don't know what that means. It's like Under Armour

plus cashmere plus cotton plus happiness rolled into a pair of pants. I got my Sherpa jacket on. It's unbelievable. Pajamas are such a fucking thing for me. Shay is two and a half, and she knows everything about my pajamas because it's such a fucking routine. I come in the house. My belt is literally undone as I walk through the door. And she's like, Daddy, go put your

jammas on. I'm like, yeah, let's go. And then I have a yellow Sherpa jacket and a black one. I know the yellow one looks like the dude from Four Brothers. Yeah, I ordered it offline and it looked like it was going to be white and it came just fucking yellow. It looks like someone just peed on it on a white jacket. That wasn't an insult. I'm just

saying that's what it looks like. The guy coming to fight Mark Wahlberg. It looks, it does, I will admit the yellow looks a little old lady-ish at times. But it's still comfortable as shit. So she says to me, yellow or black? And then we pick one. Then I usually put on my Always Sunny shirt. And I've shown you this video before. But she absolutely knows

the gang by heart now. She's like, D, Charlie, Dennis, Frank, and Mac! And then it wasn't, I thought she just knew the one shirt. I put on the gruesome twosome shirt, and she knows it's Frank and Charlie. Really? She can pick the people out, which is,

so she's like, let's go put your pajamas on. Then she recites all the members of Always Sunny, and then she says, Daddy, let's go relax. And I'm like, first of all, all you are my daughter if there was ever a maury povich incident or anything i'd be like look right here uh you could not make me any happier than that and then we go we go chill in our jamas and my day gets infinitely better i take because you know what it is it's like fucking mr rogers i'm like mr rogers he comes home he takes off his shit puts on his new sneakers, he puts on his

sweater. That, I think, is weird. Mr. Rogers gets home and he puts on a new pair of shoes to walk around the house, puts on a jacket. That's a bit much. But, you gotta change. You gotta, like, it's like a snake getting rid of his skin. I came from this godforsaken fucking place. I came from Portnoy.

And I just, I cleansed myself of that. I get rid of the Portnoy stank. I get rid of the subway. I get rid of Manhattan. I put on my comfortable clothes. I drink, and I'm happy. I'm not saying what you do is crazy. I'm just saying with me, I understand what I do is out of the ordinary.

I just don't think it's particularly crazy. I think it's just like it's kind of like everything I do where, look, my lower back is a disaster. My right shoulder, I can throw a baseball three times max in a day. I have a tooth that says, what the fuck, every time I have a sip of cold water. All these fixable things.

Very much so. If I took a day and saw a couple medical professionals, probably all set. Not going to do anything. I'm going to lay on the couch in constant pain in a pair of jeans and looking nice and that's what it is that's just i i do not but do you at least acknowledge you just said it you acknowledge you're weird right i acknowledge that it's out of the ordinary because the guys the other people chiming in on twitter i mean you would have thought that they don't even know what pajamas are they've never seen someone change into like a pair of sweatpants they're like what what i'm not that weird this can't when they saw like the the twitter poll

was like 90 10 yeah they just don't even understand the concept that they're being a weirdo that's your social misfits if you don't understand that most people are gonna get into a pair of sweatpants after a long day at work it's yeah i guess the same thing like my dad didn't like my dad came home and took off his jacket and then sat down at the dinner table and we ate and then we watched TV. It was just like. Yeah, well, he's a real man. I'm a sissy boy.

I need to put on my PJs. Right. So you understand it's a bit like I have this weird. It's just it really comes down to just how you were raised. Like in my house, people wore their clothes all the time. And so I wear my clothes all the time. Yep. In my house.

I get it. It was. I get it. I'm the minority. I recognize that. But it was just that's that's the way it was I get it. I'm the minority. I recognize that. But it was just that's that's the way it was. One uncomfortable fucking family. I was one. We were a comfortable, happy family.

So now I'm going to have to go make some fucking lounge clothes. I'm going to show people like you what's up. I'm going to make the most comfortable pair of goddamn pajamas you ever seen. I'll try them and I'll probably wear them to the office one day. Oh, I'm not against sweatpants. I'll wear sweat. I'll wear joggers to the office and then that's what I'll wear when I get home.

It's not an argument against sweatpants or something like that. It's just an argument for looking good. I only wear sweatpants that I think look good. I am like an inch away from wearing these pants and the Sherpa jackets at the office and just being like, fuck it. There is no more work clothes or PJ clothes.

It's just comfort all the time. Coley said it best. I go home, I change out of my work sweatpants into my home sweatpants like a goddamn adult. Let's get the chicks in the office in here. Let's get the people's champs to sit down with us. We're going to talk to Fran Ria, the chicks in the office right now.

It's brought to you by Blue Apron. See, now back in the day, it used to be girls just cook, get in the kitchen and fix me a sandwich. Not anymore. Now you got girls running podcasts. You got girls being nominated as the people's champions. That's progress, my friend. And while the girls are out here doing podcasts and working and I'm at home in my loungewear PJs, I'm learning how to cook. See, Blue Apron's not just here to give you quality food delivered to your door at an affordable price. They're just changing the society as we know it. Social norms. Gender norms out the window because everybody can cook now.

Oh, kind of like me. Changing social norms. Well, I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere. This is still a society, folks. Blue Apron is the number one delivery ingredients cooking company. They deliver farm fresh ingredients with step-by-step recipes to your door. Their mission is to make incredible cooking accessible and affordable to everyone. They're building a whole community of chefs.

You're going to learn how to cook. You're going to learn new recipes. You're going to get down with the pots and pans in the kitchen. You get, uh, you can get meals for two delivered or you can do the family, which, uh, you can get two to three meals, uh, two to three days a week. You're going to get meals delivered to you. The meals can be cooked in as little as 20 minutes and the recipes and the ingredients. It's all idiot proof. The instructions are simple to follow. Everything's pre-packaged, pre-portioned, so you can't screw it up. You're going to have yourself a delicious dinner at an affordable price a few times a week thanks to Blue Apron. Go to blueapron.com slash KFC right now. You get your first three meals for free. You get a whole week, three meals, when you go to blueapron.com slash KFC. Go get it. Alright, now we welcome in the people's champs. The people's podcast is here.

The chicks in the office. Fran and Rhea are in studio with KFC Radio. What's up, girls? What's up? Top five. I know. Top five. I think that the first time we were on KFC Radio was like a year ago, exactly.

Oh, yeah? Was it really? I don't know exactly the date, but I know that it was around this time. That's probably when you began your superstardom. When the rocket ship took off. It was right after this show. As somebody in this office would say, skyrocketing. So top five for the People's Choice Awards, meaning who'd you beat out? Oprah.

Heard of her. Alec Baldwin. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I beat a Baldwin. I feel bad about it, but not really. I beat a Baldwin. I put that in my Twitter bio. Mark Marone.

Yes. And Dax Shepard. Dax Shepard. Oh, those are like the two biggest podcasts on the planet. No big deal. Oprah. Two dope queens. Two dope queens.

Sorry, girls. Peace. I don't even remember the other ones. Did they tell you where you guys finished? I mean, it's not surprising because I feel like it's got to be mostly girls who vote for the People's Choice Awards because it's all women in the top five. There's no male podcast in the top five. I guess it is mostly girls, but I'll tell you what.

If this podcast got nominated, we would be pumping. We'd be like, I'm sure Marc Maron's like, I don't care. I'd be like, I fucking very much care about this. I mean, that is exactly what happened to us. We were nominated with a shit ton of famous people who don't give a shit about the podcast award for the People's choice award. Guess what? But that's like no idea what this did for my mental health.

You have no idea. No, like, Oh no. I mean, I think we do. Cause you've been crying all over the office. No,

I, when voting first started, I voted like a thousand times a day. No joke. I was putting on a clinic, taking people's emails. Yeah. I,

I used John's email. Um, Kevin, can I use yours? yours uh i was using everyone's emails i'll just do it for you you don't even need it don't worry yeah i don't believe that that's that's why i took everyone's emails i didn't believe people would do it you can vote up to 25 times a day and she's like nobody's gonna actually vote 25 times i'm gonna do it so i just started stealing everyone's emails. And then when it finally ended, I was like, sigh of relief. Now it just starts again, though, right? On Sunday, I had the

worst Sunday... I don't get Sunday scaries. Why would I get Sunday scaries? We come in, we talk about pop culture. I could not stop shaking. I was throwing up. I started... I never just drink wine. I never just like drink wine. I never drink wine alone.

Like I don't do that. I bought a bottle of wine. I finished it. Oh, you are really fitting in with us these days. It's like I was not really nervous about it, but I think she just like her nerves rubbed off on me to the point where like Saturday night,

and I regret even telling you this I Saturday night I had a dream that we got to work on Monday and we're like okay like where are the results what's going on and Noah Rhea and I were like scouring the e-website what's going on we don't see anything and then Noah got an email that was like no one voted for the podcast award so we just eliminated we just eliminated the award. And so I told Rhea that, and then Monday morning, we're all texting in our group chat,

and she's like, what if they did eliminate the award? So what happened Monday morning was, we saw something online that was like, okay, on the Today Show, they're going to announce the finalists. What we didn't realize is like, okay, they don't really care about the podcast. They're not talking

about it on the Today Show. They're talking about the best actress. Noah woke up at 7 a.m., was watching the Today Show. He texts us at like 8 there and he's like, guys, we're not going to find out until 10, 15. That's when voting starts. So we're waiting, we're waiting, waiting. I'm literally

throwing up in the morning. I'm like shaking. I'm trying to put my phone on the other side of the room so I stop looking at it. I think that the three of us were all just lying in our individual beds, like, in our own apartments, being like, all right, we can't get up, we can't go to work. No, I was like, guys, we're going in late today. That's it.

And I put my phone on the other side of the room, and I wasn't going to look at it. And then finally I was like, let me look. Five minutes ago, I had a text from Noah and friends saying we were all dumbasses that it came out at 7am. There was an article with the nominations at 7am. Because I didn't look. No one googled it?

I googled it. Let's watch the television show until they announce this. I trusted, we trusted Noah but Noah was like oh 10-15 that's when voting opens that's when it's going to be so okay we'll wait until 10-15 and then I, it was like 10-, 10-15, that's when voting opens. That's when it's going to be. He's like, okay, we'll wait until 10-15. And then I, it was like 10-10, and I just Googled People's Choice Awards finals. And it was just like the top article from E posted at 7.02 a.m., like the whole list.

So now you're top five. Is it back to us voting? Yeah. So is the public going to determine the actual winner? See, we don't know about that because it seems like they're gonna hold something in there I feel like the people's

choice awards have to be rigged when it gets to the top 5 I think every award if they want to I think if they want to be able to be like alright

who else is fucking left Anna Faris is like she's doing a lot for E so we're just gonna we're gonna slip her the thing so Lady Gang which is a podcast they're in the top 5

and they have a new show on E so like if Lady Gang wins then we riot then we're like which is a podcast they're in the top five and they have a new show on YouTube starting today. If Lady Gang wins then we riot. Then we're like show me the numbers. That's actually good for business.

I'll admit it. I've been collecting evidence. I have. I have. She had all the screenshots of all the tweets from the top from the 12

saved in case we didn't make it to the top five because she was going to be like, we got thousands. I mean, you guys kicked the shit out of them. So that's why the same thing is happening now this time around.

And that's why I'm going to keep collecting this evidence because who knows a little something about winning awards and, and how that's time and how that stuff works. And he was like, I hate to break it to you guys, but this is kind of the point where sometimes people buy the podcast. Maybe E should think about a Trixie Office show. They see everyone tweeting

hashtag Trixie Office, hashtag the pop podcast. We are the only ones using those hashtags. If you want to dominate digital, you come here. The women of Lady Gang aren't even on Twitter. One of them has a private account. Get out of here. You ain't no Lady Gang if you got Twitter, private Twitter.

How are you voting? Some of them aren't even tweeting about it. Give it to us. Do you guys know? I'm sure she has other things to do. Do you know if you're going to be allowed to? I think it's us and the Bachelor girl. To go?

To go. John, this is a whole other thing. We have been trying to figure this out right from the beginning. And now that we're in the top five, we're like, oh, nominees get to go to the awards. That makes sense. We have not heard that yet, so we're... I'm starting to think that

after voting is over on October 19th and they know who wins, they just invite the person who won. I could see maybe you do like a, you know how MTV does a lot. They have a pre-show that's digital and it's at a different location, but it's something.

I bet you'll be a part of something. Yeah, I think that we'll be able to do that there. Because they do want what you're doing. Yeah, I think that's the point. I think that's why we're nominated. Right, no doubt. Exactly. No doubt.

So they see the value in that. Or maybe your fucking podcast is just that dope. Yeah. Honestly. You guys are being hard on yourselves. We're really discrediting ourselves. Right? Especially with like the podcast thing.

Like 25% of people in America listen to podcasts. 25% of people in America don't go to movies. It's a big deal now. You're bigger than crazy rich Asians. Well, I mean,

John, that is... High praise. High praise right there. I'm not going to lie. What we should do is tell E that we're going to like, we're basically going to like extort them. Like, you better give do is tell E that we're gonna like we're basically gonna like

extort them like you better give us this fucking award or we're gonna torture you yeah like do you see what we can do it's coming your way

I think that they know that which maybe they're afraid I think that's why we got nominated the first place oh my god if you guys bully your way

to a people's choice award fuck you give it to me like they were probably like we know what kind of internet presence they have we gotta nominate them

because keep them happy and if you guys are allowed to go and don't win you gotta Kanye it oh yeah you gotta run up on stage storm up on stage honestly I'm not gonna lie it would be great but one we'd be sitting so far back that's even better

it'd be the next award you start yelling from the background like, hang on! Hang on! You're coming down like three rows of an auditorium. I actually think we would be like a red carpet award because Pop Podcast is not going on. Whatever. We can imagine. Interrupt the movie award. Interrupt the big one. Yeah, right.

I know whoever it is. Paul Taylor Swift. Taylor, excuse me. We should have won the Pop Podcast. So when Chris Pratt is going up to work for Best Male, we'll be like, sorry, it should have been Chris Hemsworth. And Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt loves being, like, loved so much that he'd just let you. He'd be like, oh, okay, go ahead, little girl. It's like, fine, whatever you want.

I'm telling you, you guys start throwing your weight around. Watch out. They have all been very nervous about my well-being, and I feel like that could happen at the worst. You've been an emotional wreck. I've been very. Sometimes I just stop. This girl wants it. I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I stop my tracks and I look up and I feel like that could happen at the workshop. You've been an emotional wreck. I've been very... Sometimes I just stop... This girl wants it. I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I stop my tracks, and I look up, and I'm like, please?

Come on. One time for me? Like, God bless Noah, because I really... He's just like... Over the weekend, he was just like, are you guys really, like, gonna be okay? Like, if this doesn't work out. Noah has basically taken on, like, two sisters, two girlfriends, two moms, two everything.

He has asked me privately if I was okay. He called me a mom when they were on the car the other day. We were in the car and he goes, I'm the mom of the podcast. He goes, Fran's got like mom vibes. I'm like, yeah. She was like, I love that. The mom of the pod.

Yeah, I was like, no, I just have crazy aunt vibes. So what's the... Now you tweet hashtag the pop podcast. Hashtag the pop podcast. Hashtag chicks in the office. Hashtag PCAs. It's actually so funny how so many people have gotten this wrong.

It is a bit much. The pop podcast is annoying. It's so many. No, you understand. I've seen some of my siblings, friends or whatever, tweeting and they're like, hashtag people's choice awards.

Hashtag vote. Hashtag chicks in the office. Making up whatever they want. Just making them up. Brett did it and I'm like, God damn it, Brett. I have been shouting this

around the office non-stop. How are you going to fuck it up on me? And you know Rhea's like, you messed up the hashtags. No, I do because they count as a vote. I need votes. Every vote counts. An apology in advance, I think, for everybody on Twitter because

Rhea has taken the role of retweeting every single person that tweets. I bet so many people have been muted. I really don't care. I'm just trying to win a People's Choice Award. People are going to be salty at me for retweeting my votes.

I really don't care. I am nominated for a People's Choice Award. It's particularly wild this time because before this happened, you guys were in talks to be on the red carpet for interviewing people. And now you're like, nah, bitch, I'm invited. Thank you very much. I'll pass. You should interview each other.

I'm here with one half of the office. To be determined if we're invited. Nah, bitch, I should be invited. I think really the only, our biggest competition is Becca Tilly from The Bachelor. She was the most recent, right? Scrubbing in or whatever.

Scrubbing in with Becca. Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya Ratt. What is scrubbing in mean? No, they talk about TV. They're in the TV and film category. What does scrubbing in mean? They're both big Grey's Anatomy fans. I don't know.

So they talk about TV. They talk about The Bachelor, obviously, because Becca's on The Bachelor. And then Tanya is, I think, Ryan Seacrest, like, co-host on... Oh, okay. All right. I hate to break it to you, but the deck is stacked against you.

No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. Seacrest owns this fucking shit. Lady Gang works for him. Exactly. You got at least two you gotta worry about. Ryan Seacrest is E. Yeah.

Is E. And that's why I'm clashing evidence. That's his fucking co-host. Dude, if you go up there, if you do the Kanye, that's what you gotta do. Don't tell you who should bring up an elementary school report. The trifold cardboard box. Bunch of stuff.

Right here, Seacrest. You see this shit? Scrubbing? He's up there on probably the top 40 countdown being like, make sure you vote for my girl Tanya. But no one does that. No one goes from the internet, from radio. No, they don't.

And the thing is, he tweeted it and it didn't get nearly... Nobody will. No attraction. Doesn't matter how many millions. When you guys tweet about it, it blows up. He tweets about them. Yes, we're more powerful than Ryan Seacrest. Also, they have a thousand...

Just not as rich. All they have... I'm not trying to bash them. But all they have is a thousand followers on Twitter for their podcast. Yeah, the people have already spoken on that one. The people have not chosen you. Right, and Twitter definitely translates more. Twitter is a big part of voting.

But I think they have such a pull on Instagram that they... But Instagram doesn't count as voting. I know, but... Sorry. Sorry. Trust me, I'm in it. Them's the rules. I know, but like,

Becca Tilly has so many followers that she just do a simple swipe up on Instagram and it gets people to vote. Does she have followers or observers? Oh. Followers. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't even know what that means.

He does it in, though? Kanye. He's such an asshole. He said that followers should be now called observers. Because followers, you have to follow someone's soul to really follow them. Suck my dick, Kanye. He's the best.

While we're talking about Instagram, and we got you here, I need to know from your point of view I haven't asked you about it either. It's mostly the foreplay guys. It's really Riggs and Trent who seem to worry about this. Anytime Riggs and Trent open up an Instagram story, like one second

after it's been posted, they get super self-conscious. You do? Yeah, I don't really care. I don't care about her. You say it and you're just like, oh, damn. You feel that way? I don't care. I feel it's mostly like a guy feels like a creep opening up a girl's thing quickly.

I only feel it when there's like somebody on Instagram that I follow that maybe I don't necessarily like. But that's when I go mute them. And then I open it and I'm like, fuck. I was the first fucking person to watch this. You gave them a little satisfaction. I'm so off Instagram. You sit there and check who's looking at your story?

I think that's we don't because we get flooded. Sometimes I look, but I'm not sitting there scrolling. I just see the top three. I don't do it with stories. I don't care if I open this story. I don't do it with stories. I don't care if I open this story. I have normal people. I don't care.

I don't get self-conscious about the story. I will have if I follow a girl or follow someone who I don't want them. I'll just mute their story so they never see it. I've been starting to do that and I really enjoy it. I'm the biggest advocate for the mute button. Twitter and Instagram. It really is fantastic. I don't know why you follow anybody. My dream is to one day have everyone enjoy it. I'm the biggest advocate of the mute button. Twitter and Instagram. It really is fantastic.

I don't know why you follow anybody. My dream is to one day have everyone mute it. Just have your own. And then God will finally let me die. Now you have my permission to die. I think it started from Snapchat stories. Because with Snapchat stories, everybody was insecure about being the first person

to watch a Snapchat story because they put the actual time next to it. So you would actually wait. Like it'd be like, oh, Rhea posted one minute ago and you'd be like, okay, I'll wait to open Rhea's Snap story so she doesn't see I was the first one to watch it. Instagram, you can't tell. It's just like a bubble.

It's just, you have no idea. I don't even know how they organize like who goes first. Yeah, they make it all up. It's just like the bubble. It's just you have no idea. I don't even know how they organize like who goes first. So it's like you refresh and then all of a sudden you have a new one and the first one you click on it. I think it's by whose stories you like. I really don't care at all. I'll do it with likes.

I definitely won't. You want to be the first like? With the Twitter, I'll just open it in a new tab and I'll go back to it in like five minutes to like it or something like that. That's just when it, like for me, this is the same thing with texting like someone texts me I'm going to answer as soon as I see the text I don't understand I say this a million times like my brother

will ask me for advice and I'll be like oh I'm texting this girl and how long should I wait I'm like well she texted you back just answer her like I really don't understand but then because there are girls who will like be turned off by that. I don't get it though. If who you're talking to plays the game, then you have to play the game. But I agree that we all should just talk when we want to talk.

Why not? When we see a text, why can't we just answer it? I don't know. You hoes are crazy. See, I'm the opposite. I have to remember to respond. It's like I just don't respond. I just have like sometimes I just have a problem where I read it and just don't.

Like I forget. Yeah, yeah. I'll do that a lot. I read it and then I put my phone down and I forget. I'll write this later and I just never do. Yeah. Yeah. But it's never like on purpose.

I'm never like, oh, I'm waiting. I guess that happens. I'll be doing something and I'll see the banner. I'll pop, it'll pop up as I'm doing something else and I'll like flip down, look at it and be like, oh, and then just not. Also, I have most texts muted, too, so I don't see them a lot. What we're learning here is that

you can't really communicate with John in any way, shape, or form. Yeah, you don't really communicate with the world at all. Yeah, it's the best. I'm muting Instagram stories. It's great. It's a life changer. It's a new feature.

If you guys see a guy open up your shit right away, will you judge him? No. No. Fran? Fucking Trent is the first one on everyone's story. Apparently. Well, this is why.

This is why. He does nothing but sit there and wait to open. Open, open, open. I don't know because I haven't done it. Right? I haven't posted an Instagram story and immediately gone to see who the first one was. And they don't do it chronologically either. Like when you post it for a couple hours and you look to see you watched it,

it's like scrambled. I do notice that they show the same person all the time. Like you notice that's the same three people all the time. That's probably someone you interact with a lot. I don't think I've ever opened it. No, but it's not. And it's just like the same three people all the time that I don't talk to. Oh, those are stalkers.

Yeah. They're going to get you. You should report them. Alright, girls. Well, congrats on top five. Everybody go vote. It's hashtag PCAs, hashtag Chicks in the Office, hashtag The Pop Podcast. Or you can go to pca.eonline.com

and use your email and vote 25 times. And they don't send you any emails. They don't. They send you no emails. I can confirm because Rhea's used mine and I've gotten no emails. Don't send you no emails. Specifically, don't click the we want the emails. Just click the agree to the terms and conditions, type your email in,

hit confirm, and then you can vote as many, 25 times. Just don't be an idiot and click the box. If everyone's complaining about that, just don't click the box. And we can confirm you get no emails. None. So I've used every email I've ever had in my entire life, and I've gotten no emails. I wouldn't know because I'm using other people's. Yes.

Thank you. All right. Go vote for them. Go open up their Instagram stories. They won't judge you. Thank you. All right. Keep it moving here.

All right. Thank you to the chicks in the office. Go vote for them. It's hashtag chicks in the office, hashtag PCAs, hashtag the pop podcast. As many votes as you possibly can. We want to get those girls to bring home the hardware. Bring it home for Barstool. That interview was brought to you by FanDuel. Dave has been given a shot at the World Fantasy Football Championship where he'll be one of 75 people trying to make $500,000.

That's the grand prize. If you're mad about it, step up to the plate and go beat Dave. I'll be honest. I don't know if you can beat him because he has sold his soul to the devil everything coming up page views from uh all the attention we're getting because of the hit piece where it turns out that actually all the deadspin writers are the most like the most horrific writers and joke tellers ever like 10 years ago saying all sorts of bigotry stuff and F-bombs and rape jokes. When things like that are happening

with Dave, when even our bad stuff is turning into good, you're probably not going to beat him in the World Fantasy Football Championship. That stuff was wild, by the way. We'll talk about that in a second right before we get into voicemails. If you do beat him, though, you will take home 5% of whatever he

wins in the World Fantasy Football Championship. So, if you beat him uh you will take home five percent of whatever he wins in the world fantasy football championship so uh if you beat him you could take home 25 grand uh that's if he takes home the second prize you take home 25 grand it's wild so uh sign up now go to fanduel.com slash beat dave for free entry to the beat dave challenge we're also offering a 20 bonus for any of the new users when they make their first deposit on FanDuel. So go to FanDuel.com slash Dave. Bonus is not available for withdrawal. State and age restrictions apply for full eligibility rules and terms and conditions. Go to FanDuel.com. Sign up now. FanDuel.com slash beat Dave. The Barstool drama is at a fever pitch right now. It's one of those moments where I really feel like the Will Leaches of the world and the Clowns of the world,

they just don't get that at the end of the day, we're here to entertain, and we are the fucking greatest show on Earth. We're being sued by Rappaport. The Will Leach thing, I fucking, I hated it. That was so, dude, so conceited and self-centered. You had the power to stop it what are we talking about he's also not even

the founder of he's not the founder of Deadspin no and even if you were it's like you started a website bro shut the fuck up they're so

dramatic it's like when people are like you know you would go back in time would you kill baby Hitler to like stop the fucking holocaust it's like

we're just talking about a blog. If I had known what was going to happen, I knew I had the power to stop them. Like, first of all, I don't think you did, bro.

I assure you, you've done to stop Dave and Boston from dominating the interweb. Nothing, dude. Like at what point are you going to take a step back and almost realize you're making a mockery of what are real problems in the world by like lumping what we do in with that we're just

fucking telling jokes and I will readily admit that there are jokes I've said before that I wish I didn't there are jokes that people here make that I wish they didn't and it I'm like ah fuck I wish you know that's part of it when you're gonna be funny and cutting edge and push the envelope and be at the forefront of everything and I'm like, ah, fuck, I wish it was different.

When you're going to be funny and cutting edge and push the envelope and be at the forefront of everything, there's going to be times you go too far. There's going to be times you kind of miscalibrate. You thought it was funny. The rest of the world didn't. There's going to be times where you say things you wish you had back. The difference is we stand by those.

These guys, Barry. Not stand by it, but just say, I wish I didn't do it. Well, I stand by it in the sense that I'm like, I have never said something out of malice or out of knee-jerk reaction where I've like really done damage and like wanted it back. I think pretty much everything I've ever said, I've been like, my intent was always there. That's true. I'll stand by the intent. Anything I said, I was always trying to be joking.

I am so far from a fucking hateful person that I've never actually being, like you said, I have no malice. There's no will. There's no intent. One moment in my career that's shameful in the sense where I'm like, I was like outwardly mean towards that person. I really targeted them. I really made them a victim.

It's like, I said some shit to try to make some people laugh. Oh, that one? Yeah. Like I took it too far. Oh boy. That, you know, that didn't, I took it too far. Oh, boy. That, you know, that didn't sound personal to me, but she really or he really took it hard. Whatever it may be. But I will 100% stand by the intent behind me, and I can't speak for everybody else, but, like, almost everybody else here.

Everything has always been said because we want to entertain. We want to make a fucking boatload of money. And that's it. And, like, to act like we are anything other than that without knowing anything. They don't know any of us. Half of them don't even read or listen. You are just taking a reputation that is put out there by a small minority in an echo chamber and fucking running with it. You have your own agenda.

You have your own desire for fame and fortune and clicks and attention it's just the other end of the spectrum you're just as bad as the people you condemn who speak out uh against your politics or whatever else it is you guys are just equal but opposite ends where you are in your own echo chamber you are drama queens making a mountain out of a molehill and the fact that you can't like see through that it's like i i actually think i think you're all less intelligent than you think you are yeah you're dumb people i i think i think they sometimes they have a point with like twitter i i do think that we've set up a million times like you don't don't fucking do this shit you do but like we never say get this person yeah but people do do it people do like absolutely. Absolutely. I wish they didn't.

We've said a million times like please leave the fighting or the joking to us because you guys are not good at it. You're not like calibrated. You don't know how to do it. Right. With any subtlety. I just you cannot control the Internet like you can control who actually represents the company. And I think we always do that. Well, I mean, you know, we always use there are times I mean you know we always use the comparison of like

tagged on like a tweet where someone's like at Sam Ponder. Fucking bitch. And they'll at me like I'll find it funny or something. No man. Dude I don't give a fuck about that. And then that ropes you in and she thinks that you co-sign that. It's like I can't stop someone from adding me. I can't do it. I mean the idea we always use the

stand-up comedian example like you know where is will leach being like i should have stopped louis ck's career you know i should have stepped in for these these this other medium this other format where jokes are probably way worse than what we do where there are some problematic jokes and there are some things that are like insensitive it's just a different format and a different medium where you're convinced that we're like ruining the world or something it's like what are you talking about that's where i i said the other day after after the leech piece i was like i i mean i said this i'm not i don't

believe it because i always end up getting wrote back and i love this shit too much but like i was saying i don't think there's anything left to say you guys have made your point or you've made your stance clear i don't want to say you made your point because I don't think they make any valid points, but it's like we have placed a bet that barstool is what it is. We make content that we find to be funny. It's a certain brand of humor that pushes the envelope, but we always have good intentions.

We hire good people, uh, that, you know, we'll shoot you straight. Sometimes the truth hurts. We have bet that there's a lot more people who are like that.

And they have bet that we are horrible people and that the world is changing so much that this brand of humor can no longer survive and we cannot support it. And they have bet that eventually, I don't know, the six of them are going to multiply by a bazillion and they will be strong enough and loud enough

to stop us from what we're doing. We can argue our points forever. We think we're good people. Like I just said, we're good people. We have good intentions. They can argue their points. We're never going to meet. So why don't we just see how it plays out and we'll see who's right.

I've I've, you know, back in the Milton days, it would be like a horn. Like why everyone Everyone gets on. Rally the troops. And nowadays, I think it's a little, you'll write a good blog on it. And maybe someone else will find some screenshots, stuff like that. I don't think there is. I think I am personally tired of it. And I think a lot of people are.

Maybe I could be wrong. The whole point of what we were saying is like i think there's a huge majority of people they're the silent majority where they're not going to engage they don't comment they don't really care they just want to read and consume and laugh and listen and be entertained that they you know they don't like the political arguing they don't like the social justice warrior stuff and we kind of created our own version of that where it's like our soap opera is very like uh you know it's a lot of like bickering and it's a lot of like us versus them and who's right who has the higher regard who has the better opinion so i do think people are gonna get sick of that it's like i i i came here to get away from like the political version of that and

the social version of that you guys are just doing it under the guys and sweatpants hey i don't want to hear about you know like which journalist has more credibility and shit so you're right people probably are getting sick of it in in a way but i also do feel the need to stand like some of the shit that like gets thrown around like wait hold on hold on don't talk to me like i'm a fucking like criminal right you know what i mean like i will always stand up for myself or other people around here at some point when the dramatics get so ridiculous that it sounds like they're treating us like we would like we've assaulted women before or something like that like come here check the fucking watch the tapes i'm terrified of women i promise you haven't assaulted. I really genuinely don't get

we continue to hire the most females in this industry at the highest positions and we don't get any credit for it. I'm not asking for credit for it, but I just think it's... No, no, you're right. I think they play willy-nilly with the misogynistic tag, and if you...

The reason people think it's misogynistic is because we have smoke shows which are models who want to get noticed it's not fucking screen grabs of random girls it's models who DM and say can you post me we're helping out a wayward woman there and then like I don't think it's credit I don't think

I don't want credit I want the opposite I don't want to be criticized when we are taking the most concrete, proactive steps and not in a token way, not in a, we need to respond to the haters way. We are actually doing it in the most genuine way. You're funny. You're hired. You're smart. You're hired. You can run a company. You're hired. You want to hire a head of sales because you're the new female CEO and you want to hire a female, fine, whatever. Anybody who could do the job, you can do it. We don't

care about it. I don't need credit for it. But every time we do hire anybody, it's like, well, they had to because they need to fill a quota. Well, they had to respond to this. Well, they need a crutch to lean on so that they can always point to this girl when they get in trouble. That's just not what's happening. And even if it was, by the way, the ends kind of justify the means there. It's like, who cares what our intentions are? If we hire all females, and even if we had bad intentions, it's still giving them a voice and a platform and a paycheck and let people achieve their dream, all that shit.

Even if it had bad intentions, it would still be a good thing. And we have good intentions, too. And nobody talks about it. Nobody just lets it be. Nobody just lets it be what it is. But I don't think having a female CEO or a female CRO or girls who work, women who work for you, I don't think that would forgive genuine misogynistic content.

I just don't think it's there. I don't know what you mean. I read Barstool every day. And maybe I'm so far naive. I don't know what you mean. I read Barstool every day and maybe I'm so far naive. I don't think I am. Maybe I'm so incredibly naive that I just don't recognize it, that it's subconscious. But I read Barstool every goddamn fucking day. I don't

see misogynistic content. I see people being funny. I don't see that. I disagree with the way Dave handles a lot of things. I disagree with the way Dave handles the Laura Weider stuff. I think it's a little odd. Yep. I think.

It's not as much. I think he's creepy. I think it is weird. I think that she, you know, put herself in the ring and Dave responds in a weird way. But it's like, well, you wouldn't have been in the ring if you didn't provoke and talk shit all the time. Right. And that and then the Deadspin guys like sexualize that. They're like, oh, oh, so this girl was asking for it to be sexually harassed.

This girl arguing about a blog online is not akin to sexual assault, sexual harassment. Like Dave has gone about it in a creepy way, but it's it's very much like he also did it. He also started doing it right after Francis did his, which is a little little. Well, I remember Francis did the lunch with Samir Kavali. And then it was like a day later. It's like, I want to date Laura Wagner and stick my tongue down her throat. A little more tact would be good, I think. A little more.

A little more. But the. I mean, the truth, I do actually have to agree with Dave, though, where it's like she talked about him incessantly for like six straight months. She did. And he, you know, he on radio with me has quoted Costanza before, a woman that hates me this much, I must have. It gets creepy with it for sure.

But, like, he trashed guys who do the same thing. He's trashing girls who do the same thing. And that, it's almost like the Bradygate thing where it was like, you're the one who's, like, making this sexual. We're talking about, like, a little baby. You're talking about, like, we want to sex with a baby. You're the one sexualizing this when it was like, you're the one who's making this sexual. We're talking about a little baby. You're talking about we want to sex with a baby. You're the one sexualizing this when it's like, these are just two people talking shit about their websites.

And I think what it ultimately comes down to is we get wrapped up in our world like everyone does. So we're all very self-centered. Just humans in general, but us in particular. And everyone gets wrapped up in this little world where the Twitter echo chamber that people always use as a negative.

And it is a negative, but we have it too. Oh, yeah, we do the same thing. We have our echo chamber. Stoolie Twitter, yeah. Right. And everyone gets wrapped up in it. It's the biggest news in the whole world. I called my dad last night, or my dad called me last night, and I was like, oh, God, he's going to want to talk about everything. He's like, what's up then he had no fucking clue I mean 90% of the people in the world don't have a fucking clue what's happening try to put yourself like in in other

shoes like would you know would you like call up your buddy who works in finance and be like oh like I heard the SEC is investigating you know like what's going no you don't know shit about what's going on right right you don't know I have a lot of friends who are stoolies who don't know. And no one has texted me. No. What's it like? What's going on? Like, you love, you have your favorite TV shows, but do you know about, like, that FX is in

some sort of legal dispute with the, no, you just don't know or care about these things. That's my main thing with, like, Will Leach on them. It's like, just shut up and relax. This is not a big deal. I understand people punching back. I get it. Uh, but if we never mentioned this,

no one, no one would know. But I also, I do think it provides very good content. Right, right, right. And I do think,

uh, and that's just, it's just in my nature. Like I can't sit there and let people just say shit. That's wrong to my face or about other people in the company. I'm just like, Nope, you're wrong.

I have to say it. I can't, I can't bite my tongue. I kind of wish I was like that. I wish I'm the opposite. Maybe we could meet in the middle somewhere. I'm just like, nope, you're wrong. I have to say it. I can't bite my tongue. I kind of wish I was like that. I see I'm the opposite. Maybe we could meet in the middle somewhere. I'm telling you, if you could put us together, we would almost be a functioning human.

We would really almost be a solid member of society. Let's get to these voicemails. It's brought to you by Quip. When it comes to, oh, John, you need this because your teeth, you're just setting your teeth up for a disaster. Everyone's trying to insult my teethip. Oh, John, you need this because of your teeth. You're just setting your teeth up for a disaster. Everyone's trying to insult my teeth. I have a fucking beautiful smile.

I know, but you're going to ruin it with chewing tobacco. People have been telling me that for 15 years. Well, either way, whether you dip or you don't, you need to have a nice smile. Whether you're setting yourself back with John. Smile is number one. Well, eyes are number one. Smile is number two. Smile is number one. Eyes are number one. Smile is number two. Hair is number one.

Eyes are number two. Oh, I'm talking about for me. Like when I'm not looking at men. When I see a woman, first I say. Oh, got it. Yeah. Girls, you want Fuddleburg to like you? Brush your teeth.

Get a quip. Quip is the new electric toothbrush that packs the right amount of vibrations. Oh, I'd love this. Say, hook me up, Quip. Yeah, you need this, man. We all do. The right amount of vibrations into a slimmer design at a fraction of the cost of the bulkier traditional electric brushes. This almost has, speaking of sexualizing things, when you tell me that there's a slim design with the right amount of vibrations,

I am sure people are using these in other places other than their teeth. Guiding pulses. Come on. Guiding pulses, vibrations, and sliver designs. Suctions. Comes with a mount with suction. Come on. This is a sex toy that you clean your teeth with.

I know what you're doing here, Quip. Go to getquip.com slash KFC, and you can get a free refill. It starts at just $25, and when you use that URL, getquip.com slash KFC, you'll get your first refill pack for free. Go to getquip.com, G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash KFC. Voicemails, let's get it. What's up, KFC, Fights, PC? I was just wondering if you guys had to live in a fast food restaurant, eat there and sleep there, which one would you live in and why?

All right, Viva. You had to live in a fast food restaurant. This is funny to me, too. We talked about it with Brandon before. Brandon told me what voicemail was coming when you went out to do the rundown a little earlier. Little behind the actors studio here. Open up the curtain.

This episode got cut up pretty often. We've been a hell of a day in the office here. But when we were talking about, we ended with talking about the controversy and all that, and Brandon was saying, our next fucking question is about what goddamn fast food restaurant you want to live in.

That's what I mean. I mean, the amount of voicemails, podcasts, blogs we do, write, record, like there's a handful of jokes that get mentioned all the time.

And then there's 50 billion other pieces of content that have, are the most harmless things you ever heard in your life. What goddamn fast food restaurant would you live in for the rest of your life? And it's easily a McDonald's. Yeah, it's gotta be. It's easily a play's. Yeah, it's got to be. It's easily a play place.

Well, but here's the thing. Those are disgusting. Oh, I would clean them. Well, that's what I was going to say. If I own it, I'm going to have my own personal playpen. If it is just subject to the regular disgustingness, yeah, I mean, you can't go in there. There's shit, there's piss, there's probably cum,

there's hypodermic needles, French fries, the whole nine. It's not the... I was trying to think of what could be conceived as the comfiest fast food restaurant or the cleanest. There really isn't anything but McDonald's. These new age McDonald's are like fucking restaurants.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the Wi-Fi and stuff like that. Yeah, and they look like a fucking... Japanese style. Yeah, they look yeah, with the Wi-Fi and stuff like that. Yeah, and they look like a fucking- Japanese style. Yeah, they look like a lounge or some shit. I mean, strictly food-wise, it's probably still McDonald's, but I- They offer the best variety. I would throw a Wendy's in there. Wendy's is great, but I almost-

When I go to McDonald's, I'll fuck my order. I'll change up. I'll fucking- Yeah, Wendy's you have to go to. I'll dibble dabble. I'll bam through the legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll fuck my order. I'll change up. I'll fucking... I'll dibble dabble. I'll bam through the legs. All this kind of shit. Get a McChicken, Big Mac,

two quarter pounders, all kinds of stuff. I go to Wendy's, spicy chicken sandwich, junior cheeseburger, from the order menu. That's what I hit. I mean, I was thinking the same thing with Taco Bell. It was like, my number one item in all of fast food is the cheese gordita crunch, but that's what I'm gonna get every single time. I can't do that for the rest of my life.

You need the variety. You need the comfort. You need the Wi-Fi. And you need the playpen. The playpen, it's huge. First of all, just fun. Second of all, sleep in a ball pit? Oh, that sounds cozy as fuck.

I'd be in my PJs, in my ball pit, and I'd be happy as a clam. Happy as a pig in shit, because I would probably literally be in shit. Hey, fights. Hey, KFC. Hey, Super Brothers from D.C. I'm just calling looking for some relationship advice. So, this weekend, I was with my boyfriend and his mom, and she brings

up that she was moving his dresser and found a card I'd written him. So, we're 27, haven't lived at Holmes Needs College, so I'm just thinking, like, why in the fuck do you have this card at your mom's house in a random dresser? Then she goes on to explain it was a happy anniversary card, except me, being the dumbass I am, had crossed out Annie, wrote in bang so that the card read happy bangiversary,

and inside thanked him for having sex with me a year ago on that day and quoted i'm so happy we consummated our relationship on a bathroom floor so basically she says all this and i'm like please i hope a lightning bolt kills me since that didn't happen i figured i'd call you guys and find out, should I A, kill myself, B, dump him so I never have to see her again, or C, dump him and then kill myself? Let me know what you guys think. Thanks. This is a big-time preemptive breakup.

I don't know. Nope. Don't listen to her, girls. Don't listen to John. John is wrong. If you have a bang-a-versary slip-up... It's just, you're 27. Yeah, that makes it even worse. If I was 18. That makes it even worse.

No, I think of it as, look, maybe it's going to be awkward for a little while. Oh, yeah. But if you genuinely like the person, it's just a blip on the radar. You'll be in your own head for a while because you're always in your own head. Everyone's always in their own head. That's why we think the USB cord goes in the wrong way every time. It doesn't. You just remember the fuck ups. It's 50-50. And it's like

you're going to be in your own head about this and you're going to be fucking upset and all that and maybe still remember, but it's not going to be something that weighs on you. It's not. It's not. I'll tell you right now, Bangiversary is weighing on me for a while. I don't think so, man. First of all, if it's the reverse,

totally different story. I wrote that to a daughter and her dad found the card. Total different ballgame. See you later. Totally different. But it's a mom and her son, her 27-year-old son. It's not great, though, John. You're 27. You're supposed to be sexually active.

I don't know if you're supposed to be sexually active on a bathroom floor. It's like whatever. It's not great, John. Come on. It's not great. It would be better to not have this exist. I'll give you that.

But it's one of those things. All right. What if you kind of like the person? You're not really into it. You've been together for a year at least. You like him. Yeah, but what if you're like, you've been on the fence about a couple other things. Would this put you over the edge?

If you're on the rocks, let's say. You know me, I'm a fucking pussy. I'd be like, you want to dump me over this? You probably should. You should dump me over this. I have a recommendation. You should dump me over this. But it's one of those things where I think about all the time in day-to-day life where people are like, I had the worst day because you had like a

10-minute fight. You didn't have a bad day, man. You had a bad 10 minutes. You let it fucking bother you the rest all the time in day-to-day life where people are like, I had the worst day. Because you had like a 10-minute fight. You had a bad day, man. You had a bad 10 minutes. You let it fucking bother you the rest of the time. This sucks that you had, look, you had a bad moment. Don't let it fucking define all this. Honestly, relationships, especially with in-laws and all that shit, it's like being a reliever. You got to have a short memory.

Right. You got to just get back out there. Like, you either break up, fine, or you got to just pretend it didn't happen. Like, yeah, I gave up that three-run bomb last night, but I'm going to go out there and strike out the side. Short memory. Keep it moving. They'll do the same.

And pray for the best. That's right. Next fucking voicemail, because we smashed that. Smoked it. Let's go. Let's go. Smoked it. Hey, KFC. Smoked it. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, KFC, Fights, DC.

So I know people call in and ask about the girlfriend asking about porn questions. Well, I've got a curveball for you guys. So I have a fiance, and I watch porn, you know, like the average American man, and, you know, go through thumbnails, click on something, you know, something else, something else. So the history gets populated. And I noticed the other day that out of nowhere, Pornhub, you know, the favorite site, shout out, had a block on it, had a restriction. I didn't do it. It just happened one night.

So I thought, hmm, fiance might have did it. But I didn't bring it up. So fast forward to tonight. I was looking to join, you know, like a softball league, you know, baseball league, local sports in the area. And one of the sites was blocked. And she was sitting next to me and I go, that's weird. Yo, has this ever happened to you? And she goes, oh, that might've happened because I blocked all your porn sites.

And we just got in this big fight because, you know, I said, oh, you know, you went on my phone, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, you know, I'm not going to clear my history. So who's right in this situation? I mean, I'm right in the fact it's an invasion of privacy, clearly. She's a fiancé, and now she's pissed because she thinks that I watch, you know, Asian, black, you know, MILF, or, you know, whatever I search. But what do you think?

All right. I mean, we can agree on this. You have to break up with her. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. I mean, that is. Did you say fiance?

Yeah. That's it. How is this just coming up now? Yeah. Now that's totally on her because now I've bought the ring. I proposed. We've got the families all excited. And clearly you've been bugging out about the porn I've been watching the entire time.

You should have done this earlier. And then I would have broken up with you before we got our family's hopes up, and I spent all the money on the fucking ring. That is an invasion of privacy, for sure. But, like, on top of that, there is a fundamental problem with this. Right. You cannot date a girl or a guy that doesn't let you watch whatever you want to watch to get aroused on the internet.

Right, yeah. Like, you kill, like, no jokes aside. This isn't like, a man needs to jerk off. No. Anyone who wants to fucking watch porn should watch porn. I remember when I was about six,

no, older than that, I was watching a show on TV in my room, which later got taken away because I watched scrambled porn on it. Oh, yeah. The best.

When I was, like, in middle school or early high school. But I was watching MTV in that show, Undressed. And there was a huge fight between early high school. But I was watching MTV in that show Undressed. And there was a huge fight between two people on it because one watched porn and one a weird show. It was fake but not. It was supposed to be real, but it was fake.

I don't really remember. I just remember I was cool for watching it because I could have it in my room and no one would know I was watching it. And I'd go into school the next day and give recaps. This is what happened on undressed last night um but that was a thing it was an episode of undressed and people were saying you're being too puritanical and this was in 96 right now it's 2018 i mean people watch porn porn hub people watch porn porn is like the biggest brand porn is a legitimate awesome interesting brand you go to like porn hub pop-up shops.

They like, they host award shows with Kanye. Like if you're not in on porn, you're a fucking outcast at this point. It's very, very weird. And to, you knew all along. You had to have known all along. It's not like, oh, I just discovered after we got engaged that he watches porn. You know, I've been doing it. And who the fuck knows how to block a website?

I didn't know you could do that on a phone. I would, I, that's news to me. I had no clue. I'm pulling some fucking hacker do that on a phone. That's news to me. I had no clue. Pulling some fucking hacker shit over here to stop me from watching No Face Girl. Have you seen her? No Face Girl. Is that her name? Buddy. Oh, yeah. One of these girls who doesn't show her face. Is she a blue checkmarker?

I know a couple, like one of the verified, like, born-up community users. I know a couple of those gals. Yeah. I know a couple of them. They don't show their faces. Right. I thought there was a young couple with two G's that's why I thought they rebranded to no face girl nope different girl

this girl has flipped the game on it's head cause she's got this fucking fat ass it's perfect right and you see all that and the whole time her head's cut off and all I can think about I'm like I gotta see this bitch's forehead I gotta see her nose. What's her cheek structure like?

What color is, what are her roots on her hair look like? All I can think about, because her asshole is just right there all the time. So now I just want, you always want what you can't have. No face, girl. Look out for her. She's a force to be reckoned with. What if girls started walking around just naked in ski masks and you'd be like,

let's go. Show the rest. Show the rest. Show me those eyes. Show me the bridge of your nose. Yeah, listen, I'm going to be watching those things. It really is that way. I don't care.

Right? You have to dump this girl, and I'm not even kidding. Actually, exactly is that way. In olden times, like showing an ankle was slutty. Yeah, big deal. Right. Anything you don't show is just hot. If chicks, man, I'm talking about rebrands and shit like that. Chicks just rebrand themselves.

This is how we dress. Tits out, ass out. Ski mask and goggles. And then just naked. And be like, I don't care about boobs or ass anymore. I just want to see a face. You got a dumper. Anybody who's not allowed to watch porn,

anybody who has that type of invasion of privacy with their phone, it's bad news. It's going to end in disaster anyway. Preemptive breakup. Get out of there. Hey, guys. I got a quick hypothetical for you. So say you have the ability to pause time since the day you were born.

So every time you're falling behind on schoolwork as you're growing up, put it off to the last minute, you just hit the pause button, use like eight hours to get a project done. And you continue to use this throughout your life. So while you're running errands as you're older, and you want to go see the new Predator movie that's out, you just hit the pause button, go see it. That's two hours there. Or you want to go golf, that's out, you just hit the pause button. You'll see it. That's two hours there.

Or you want to go golf, that's four hours there. So as you hit the pause button and do these activities, it's adding that time onto your life. So how much older do you think you would be after using all these hours throughout your whole life? So quick conversion is 24 hours. What kind of math question calls this a math question? Wait, he's giving the conversion.

What was that? So a quick conversion is, you have 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year. That's about 8,700 hours. Disgusting. Just wanted to see what you guys had to say about that. Love the podcast.

This is one of those moments where I realize how stupid I've gotten Like I can't even begin to answer this question So every time you press pause It adds it on to your life And I have to pause Every time I do an activity? Well if you want The movie's on at 7 I gotta go do like 2 hours worth of work

But it's 6.30 I can press pause And get all my shit done. Time stops for you. But then you add it. You tack it on to your life. I mean, the last thing you want to do is live more life. Yeah, I don't. But I also don't think I would use it.

I don't think I'd pause very often. I'm trying to think of. I mean, the whole world is on demand and shit these days. Like, you basically have this option in a weird way to begin with if you're talking about entertainment you can pretty much always kate you know i guess travel is the only time i'd ever do it where if a plane is delayed or whatever and i need to be there for something i'd pause right but how often is that even there was there was like when we did that gold wing thing at the ainsworth and i was like a half hour late yeah i would have paused to get there right Right, okay. So a half hour here and there though,

like you'd add like, I don't know, like I was going to say three to six months. I don't think I'd use this tool. If this was superpowers, I wouldn't be too keen on it. I got a raw deal with these superpowers. Time man is not popping in the streets. Although, is everyone else around me pauses?

Or just like time stops? I don't know. If everyone else around me pauses. Or just time stops? I don't know. If everyone else around me pauses... I guess you kind of get into that's almost like time travel in a way. If everything stops and you get to do whatever. I think this is a question for people with real jobs. There's not enough pressing in my life to need to stop time. I can come in whenever I want.

I usually want time to keep going. I usually come in whenever I want. I usually want time to keep going. I wake up in the morning, John, the first thing I think of is like, I just want to go back. Like, I can't wait to get back to bed. I can't wait to put my kids back into their beds. Can't wait to go back to fucking sleep. So I ain't trying to pause and do anything. I just want to get there. Get to the end. Get to the destination.

Get to the day that I die and call it a life. Amen, brother. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by Lisa. You want to make sure you get to bed at the end of the night? Like I just said, you want to make sure. What a goddamn segway from this kid. You want to make sure when you crawl into bed at the end of the night after not using your time powers into the most comfortable mattress you possibly can,

you got to get yourself a Lisa. Quality night's sleep. It helps you recover from distractions. It helps you recover from your fucked up family, from your toddlers who are driving you crazy, from being sued by Michael Rappaport, from having to respond to hit pieces, to dealing with your own

asshole fans, to not being able to get in a fucking studio anytime you need to record. Oh my god. All that shit. I can't wait for this new fucking office. All those distractions. I'm going to put a Lisa mattress right in the studio. Disappear. Oh yeah my God. All that shit. I can't wait for this new fucking office. All those distractions. I'm going to put a Lisa mattress right in the studio. Disappear. Oh, yeah.

This is John's studio. Yep. This is KFC Radio's studio. We're going to record from the mattresses. Yeah. The Lisa studios. All those distractions disappear when you crawl into a Lisa mattress at night. Right now, you can get $160 off any Lisa mattress when you go to lisa.com slash barstool. $160 off.

It ranges from twin all the way up to that Cali King. Get $160 off at Lisa.com slash barstool. Yo, what up, guys? Got a question for you. So let's just say, God forbid, KFC gets broken. KFC radio gets broken up. And you guys need to get to pick what you want to do for your next podcast. Either join

in someone else's podcast or create your own again. What's, like, your idea? I know it sounds like a bad situation, but I just thought it'd be an interesting answer to see, like, where... Sounds like a great situation when your dumbass co-host wears jeans to bed at night.

Sounds like someone's trying to get me to give them producers ideas. I'm not telling you what my next podcast would be, motherfucker. I got it in the chamber. I got it. I'm not telling you. That shit's fucking kept under lock and key. Yeah, yeah. You don't just walk around talking about, like, I'm going to invent the social media network with faces and books and shit.

That's how you get fucking stolen. You get Zuckerberg'd. I probably wouldn't. I don't think I could join up with another one. Do you? I don't know, but I don't think I could do my own either. I've said it a million times. I don't think I can host. You sell yourself short. I don't think I'm good. I think I need someone else to

kind of guide me. So you just pick another host? I wouldn't trust another host, Kevin. That's my guy. That's my guy. I don't know. I've thought about that. Not about Radio or anything like that, but just I've thought about what else we could do

or other podcasts and things like that. It's a very hard question. We've said before, if you don't already have a podcast, you're probably out. It's too late, man. It's a wrap for anybody who's new. Unless you're already a star. Right.

Like if John Mayer started a podcast. People are going to listen to my life. People are going to listen to John Mayer's podcast. If you're trying to grow that shit. But if you're a star in another field, I think you can start a podcast. If you're not, I think you have to be insanely talented. And I don't even understand how you get someone to listen to your podcast. No, it's very hard.

I mean, there's only so many hours in a day. There's only so many hours in a commute. And people already have their shit established. It doesn't make any sense. It does sound crazy. I think it's because it was so immediately open to everybody. Yeah. So it was immediately just...

No barrier. I think writers often talk about that, how it's so hard for a book to break through because there's so many fucking books all the time. And you can write it, yeah. Right. And it's that way with television now. Where TV. And you can write it, yeah. Right. And it's that way with television now. Where TV used to be,

you had six channels. Right. And if you got approved, your show was probably going to be a pretty decent hit. Right. Now, Netflix is just churning out shows

that you don't even understand. Right. You just go on Netflix's homepage and there's tons of new shows. It's impossible to break through unless you have Jonah Hill and Emma Stone in it. Right.

You're not shit that good. Right. So it's almost impossible for a podcast to break through unless you're John Mayer, unless it's Jonah Hill's podcast. Is John Mayer starting a podcast, bro? I don't know why he was the first one that came into my mind.

We've got to get Rowan to just send him a text. Yo, start a podcast under the Barstool umbrella. Right? I don't think it matters. I'm the mayor of this shit, Don. Come on. The mayor. Oh, wow.

Look at that. The mayor of the internet. I'm the mayor of iTunes. Don. That's a good one. I like when Mike and the Mad Dog broke up, Francesca was just like, I'm just doing this by myself. I just go solo. Yeah, like I can't. I probably do that because I don't have.

You know what I would do? There's only one other person. I would go back to mail time. There's only one person I think I could do the podcast with and it would be my brother. Yeah. I don't think I could do it with a new person or tag up with another co-worker. There's plenty of people I like here a lot, but it would be like,

yeah, I'm cheating, and this is not working as well as the old one did. I've done, I don't know how many podcasts I've done. I've done Section 10, Lexi Cameron podcast, and I had a blast on all of them, and I think we all had pretty good chemistry. It's different when it's yours.

But it's, yeah, it's very, very, it's definitely a week out multiple times a week. You're kind of awkwardly, like you don't want to overstep your boundaries. Yeah.

You're a guest, but you want to shine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very, very difficult. And so I don't know,

I think I'd probably just like, just start fucking blogging. Like I said, I would, I kicked around the idea of, of, uh, just jumping back in the studio with Brendan once a week, especially

whenever my new life schedule ends up being at night time, just pop in and do an hour with him like we used to do. One Minute Man and all those other things, see what comes of it. Because there are people who are like, bring back bail time. And I'm like, the numbers just, I don't think the numbers were there,

but things so much has changed. Like, we weren't on podcast one. Then we were on podcast one. Now we're off it again. I don't know where the numbers would be. I don't know if it would have, like, a resurgence because it was like a, the problem we always had was we never got that big barstool push because it was never new, you know.

Oh. If we, like, re-released. Huh? Oh, no? What? Never got the barstool push. Is that not accurate? Oh, man. What? Never got the barstool push. Is that not accurate? Oh, man.

That's strange. It's funny how that... I can't imagine. So I kicked around that idea. Some dude at the podcast Upfronts came up to me and was like, how much to bring back mail time right now? And I was like, $500,000.

He goes, just bah. And he was like, for real? I'll do that right now. And I was like, shit. I don't know my own value at all. $1.5 million. I was like, oh, I meant $500,000 to me. And I guess you think about it. I'm like, yeah, like 50 spots, one spot.

Okay, yeah, $500,000 is not enough. Shit. I got to get a raise. Let's definitely start up MailTime again if it's worth more than half a million dollars. All right, that's it for today's episode. It's definitely start up mail time again. If it's worth more than half a million dollars. All right. That's it for today's episode. It's brought to you by Liquid IV. Perfect.

After a long episode, long, hard work, the same way after a long night out, a long week at work. You've been hitting the gym. I was in a meeting this afternoon, and I kind of just did one of these. Yeah, you look cheap. And Stu was like, dude, where have you been lifting? I said, buddy, I ain't been in the gym in a minute because I can't afford it.

But thank you for that compliment. That sounds nice. Well, something's working. You got that fucking, that like dimple in your bicep where it looks like. That's always there. Yeah, you got that. It's the steroids from high school.

No, I had that when I was steroids from high school no I had that when I was like 5 really that's clutch like dude why is John so giant I'd be like a little baby like moms would be

that's so clutch it's not really about actually having like big muscles it's about having like the right like spot where dimples or curves

all of a sudden you look shredded fuck you John I'd be a little little family not family like friend pool parties and I'd be like

the joke of the moms I'd be like John how do you flex I'd be like maybe your dad was just giving you steroids then. One of those little Russian babies. Yeah, you're just like punching a tree in the backyard. Liquid IV.

You want to recover after a night out. You want to fuel your fast-paced lifestyle. You get that quick hydration relief. One liquid IV is equivalent to two to three bottles of water. It delivers hydration right to the bloodstream faster And more efficiently than water alone It's got five essential vitamins Including more vitamin C than an orange

And as much potassium as a banana Bro, this is just like a liquid potion This is like the fountain of youth You drink this shit, think Benjamin Button Drink this shit, sleep on this Lisa mattress You'll be beautiful No bags under your eyes. Beauty rest for days. Go to

liquid-iv.com promo code KFC. You get 20% off anything you order on Liquid IV's website. That's 20% off when you go to liquid-iv.com slash KFC. Don't wait. Get hydrated today.