KFC Radio - Chris Bosh, Matt Bomer, Andrew "King Bach" Bachelor, and Livin in Simp City
Episode Date: October 27, 2020Subscribe, Rate, and Leave a Review! -Has the sun officially set on the Patriots dynasty? -The Kayce Smith Tattoo -Live reactions to two disgusting twitter videos (wrestler's legs crumpling, glizzy ...snake) -Top 5 Costumes you thought were gonna be clever in the year 2020 but actually aren't -Voicemails include cough vs phone charge, the term boyfriend, movie/tv technology, and partner with equivalent looks or personality (01:43:30) Chris Bosh returns to the show! We discuss his transition into music, talking to Lebron after this most recent championship, he gives us an inside look into the Miami Heat "not 4, not 5,..." press conference, and much more. (02:21:00) Matt Bomer joins the show! We talk about connecting with people through sports, how handsome he is, we play Answer the Internet, and much more. (02:51:00) Andrew "King Bach" Bachelor returns to the show. We discuss navigating new social media platforms, parlaying internet fame into acting opportunities, and much more. Let us know what you think on twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @ChrisBosh @MattBomer @KingBach Follow us on youtube for daily clips: Youtube.com/c/kfcradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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God, imagine Carole Baskin eating pussy.
Or, even worse, is someone eating Carole Baskin's pussy.
Carole Baskin.
A chick going down on Carole Baskin.
I bet Carole Baskin eats A chick going down on Carol Baskin. I bet Carol Baskin eats a fucking good puss.
It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
You know, pushing about halfway through the football season.
We're on the verge of the World Series
wrapping up.
And everywhere you look,
the Tom Brady effect is in play.
It is. Well, no, wait a minute.
Sorry. Well, no, they lost last night.
The Rays lost last night.
So this weekend, Saturday
night into Sunday day,
the Tom Brady effect
was rocking.
It struck midnight last night.
And it's ultimately going to
blow a big hole in your sales
when the Dodgers just win the
World Series. I don't think so.
Well, how much does one man
have to do? He already brought you a Stanley Cup.
It's been months. Give the guy a Stanley Cup. It's been months.
Give the guy a little time.
Like how much?
It's been what?
It's been eight months?
Right at the start.
It was like quarantine happened, Brady left.
Like right away.
Yeah.
The next thing.
So quarantine started in March?
So in less than a year, he's bringing you a Stanley Cup, a World Series appearance,
and, you know, probably world series appearance and you know probably
making a march you know into the playoffs for sure and we'll see where he goes meanwhile and
i think part of it is also he's gonna go to the super bowl yeah right and i think part of it is
also it's not only what he's doing himself and for tampa i think you have to factor in what's going on in New England as part of it.
For sure.
So the negative, I actually think for the Tom Brady effect,
the positive Tampa Bay aspect is important,
but the negative New England I think might be more important for the Tom Brady effect.
It is clear.
It's being seen.
I mean, I sent a tweet last night that the system,
it actually is nice to be like,
you fucking assholes who pretended he was a system quarterback.
I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about you listeners.
The royal you.
Whoever said he was a system QB, you dumb sons of bitches.
It's kind of nice to watch you eat crow now because the system last night went off for 364 yards and five touchdowns for passing one
rushing and then the system in new england had about 179 yards total between two quarterbacks
and four interceptions and zero touchdowns i don't know what how far into the game it was
but anything other than like a drive and a half is too much like it was like cam new it was like
three for ten for like oh i think i have for like nine i believe that half is too much. Like it was like Cam Newton was like three for 10 for like nine yards.
I believe that halftime was three for six for 11 yards and two picks.
I mean, that is like Tom Brady was, it's like Heisenberg-esque.
Like I am the system.
System quarterback, sure.
The fucking system is here.
It's like when I said LeBron is the process.
Like Tom Brady is the whole fucking system. And he's the GM. when i said lebron is the process like tom brady is the
whole fucking system and he's the g he should be gm of the year this year how about that bruce
arian's quote you dumb idiot bruce bruce no i kind of like it i kind of like it that he's just
so bruce arian said that antonio brown was his decision and the gm's decision and tom had nothing
to do with it and that this has been in the works for a long time. When I do believe I was listening to the Zach Gelb show, a clip on Twitter, something like that.
And he said, at least according to him, that there was a quote from Arians that was like, I'm not really that interested in Gronk.
And there is no room for Antonio Brown.
So you can't tell me you said that directly.
That it was 100% Tom.
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt, but for Bruce Arians, I think he's on the record as
saying like, we do not want Antonio Brown
and then you sign him, you can't say, well this was
this was all my idea. We've been working this for a while
that was a Belichick quote
that was to throw you off the scent
that I was, no, this was
100% Tom Brady's decision
100%
The thing about football is I don't know why more teams don't do this more often.
There's no risk.
There's literally zero risk.
You should go sign guys out of retirement.
You should sign guys out of prison.
You should sign people who are injured.
Whatever.
Because the second it doesn't work, you're gone.
Let's say in three weeks, two weeks, three weeks, whatever it is,
Antonio Brown does something insane because he's an
insane person. Because he will. You caught him
and he won
three games. Well, not one, but like
really contributed. And so at the
end of the day, you're seven and two?
Worth it. Right.
You got three wins in the NFL. For sure.
Totally worth it. Undoubtedly.
And more importantly, it's like, this is what Tom Brady wants,
so he's going to be happy, and so you do it.
And he has, he's so fucking good that, again, I know for a fact,
I've heard from people, that when he was in New England,
he only played one game.
I think he went off, he had one touchdown for like one,
let's say 120 or something like that in that one game.
He didn't know the playbook at all.
Brady was saying in the huddle being like, all right, here's the play call.
Antonio, this is what I want you to do this.
And it was fucking magic right away.
So they're going to be awesome.
Yeah, there's great.
There's like other teams would be like, yeah, I'm going to sign Antonio Brown because he's a talent.
Tom Brady, I feel like is like Tom Brady has a thing for Antonio Brown. For sure. teams would be like yeah i'm gonna sign antonio brown because he's a talent uh tom brady i feel
like is like tom brady has a thing for antonio brown for sure he's got like a crush on i mean
he wants that dude because he sees whatever the way he runs the way he jumps his hands his
whatever it's not just like oh i want as many talented receivers it's like i want antonio
brown and that is why i mean i i i don't blame
the pat the pats and i don't blame craft and like at some point you know he was talking he was
saying bad shit about the family like craft family he's gotta go but you know that you know
at the that's at the cost kind of of tom brady you know what i mean like if if somebody if they
can't brady still yeah that's what i mean you If somebody... If they came around, there's a chance Brady's still in the game.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
If Barstool had a problem with you
and you're gone
and you earned it,
or like Minahan, let's say.
Minahan's eventually going to earn it, right?
But if I was doing a show with Kirk
or something was really clicking,
I'd be like,
okay, I understand why you're doing that,
but then I'm going to go somewhere
where I can keep doing work with Kirk.
Because when you have that specific click,
he's going to do whatever it takes to get it,
and he's got it now, and it feels like they are humming.
I mean, Bronx back.
Yeah, right.
He's like, good again.
And then you, by the way,
just factor in all the other fucking weapons they already had.
You're going to have Antonio Brown, Godwin.
I mean, come on.
And the greatest titan of all time.
That's fucking insane.
And then I think everything you just described, I do believe pales in comparison to Cam Newton looking atrocious.
And that was the final score.
And last time I saw it was 30-6.
I was going to say 33-6, something like that.
That's got to be the worst loss maybe of your lifetime?
No.
Of your post-Brady life.
Of my post-Brady life?
Like starting with Tom Brady.
I don't know what your Bledsoe and prior life was.
Honestly, I don't either.
Yeah, you were like six, right?
I don't really remember.
So is that the worst loss of your life?
No, they had one.
The Chiefs one that was real bad a couple years ago.
The Chiefs one that was real bad a couple years ago. The Chiefs one was bad, but the one that
sticks out is, I want
to say it was in
2003 or maybe it was 2005. I forget.
They traded Lloyd Malloy.
Or released Lloyd Malloy. I forget exactly what happened.
But he went to the Bills. And then we
played Bills week one. And
I want to say they beat us by 40.
They fucking ran our show.
It's, you know, but you realize how much of a cocksucker you are, right?
Yeah.
You can list, like, there's three.
There's, like, the Chiefs game, this Bills game you speak of,
and then you can add the, who was it last night?
I don't even know who they played.
Who did they play?
So it's 31-0.
Yeah.
And the fact that there's the Jimmy G element, like, it felt, you know,
like, that's usually a game.
If that's Tom Brady Jimmy G element. Like, it felt, you know, like, that's usually a game. If that's Tom Brady, that's the total inverse
because Tom Brady comes out with a chip on his shoulder
being like, I'm approved.
Right.
You know what I mean?
So it's not just that you lost.
It's not just that Tom was winning.
It's, like, who you lost to, the manner in which you lost.
Yikes.
It's not good in New England, bud.
I don't understand. They broke me.
Tom Brady broke me in the sense that
I don't get
how you guys...
I have a newfound respect for you.
I don't understand how week in and week out
people watch legitimately
bad, legitimately uninspired football
where it's like... I was watching on
Red Zone last night and every time they went to the
Pats game, I was like, nope, Bucs, put the Bucs back
on, Scott, get the fuck, I don't give a
shit about this, this fucking breaks my heart
it's hard, it's legitimately hard
to watch and how fans do it
week in and week out with
no hope, with no sign
of change, like at least, we still actually
at least have the hope of like
maybe Belichick will do something because it's Bill Belichick. mean cam newton still is a former mvp who like could go off
at any moment someone replied to my tweet last night and was like they broke me so bad that
i think they still might make this a game and it was like 27-6 or whatever the fuck you remember
when uh when the i guess it was maybe it wasn't the Super Bowl.
Wasn't there another big loss to Philly at one point? They were on the bus. They went out there
Yeah, that was the game. Yeah, we were
at that game. And Dave was on the bus
ride home after the game. And he was like,
I still feel like the Pats are
going to win this game somehow.
And those days are gone.
Yeah, they're, I mean, we don't
have touchdowns on me. Yeah. And I'm
never going to expect it from you.
I know it's not going to happen.
But I think that New England is in – they're always in new territory
because it's all unprecedented.
I think what's happening now is a new type of fair weather fan
that has been invented. Okay. I think that you were real fans who have turned into fair weather fans because of being spoiled
by success.
Like, you're not like pink hat fans.
You're not the traditional hop on the bandwagon.
You are real fans.
You like the sport.
You watch it.
You know it.
You know who's on the team.
You know the stats.
You read.
You listen.
All that shit.
But now you can no longer be a part of losing a losing team i in in retrospect in hindsight grandfathered in however you want to say it you guys have now become fair fair weather
fans i would say that's not super inaccurate yeah that i i get that like like a lot of guys
like a lot of the responses i were getting it's out like. It's out of like respect for the sport.
Like that's just not the sport.
Like I blogged it probably 10 years ago.
I'll tell you what though, John.
It is.
You're the exception to the rule.
But I've seen it played at its highest levels.
I'm like, I can't watch this.
Yeah, but.
It's like what I always said about college football where I'm like,
when I was at FSU, people would be like, oh, you're not heartbroken about this game?
I'm like, Tom Brady plays tomorrow, man.
Like I can't be that sad because like tomorrow you're the actual football play you're that's no
you watched i don't know what you watched like i watched the other end of the spectrum i don't
watch football right i watch the jets i watch the jets fail to like get the ball across midfield
type shit i watch the jets we celebrate first downs okay you watch video games yeah you watch rookie
mode madden the middle is football and it's not that good it's really not football the sport of
football is ugly not a great product it's very funny like i feel like goodell and tagliabue and
all the fucking commissioners gone by
and the league and whoever like negotiates tv rights and shit are sitting there like
can you fucking believe this the ratings are you know another 40 million people watch this game or
whatever the fuck the numbers are because overall you know with the exception last night the the
hawks seahawks and the Cardinals this is like unbelievable game you know
and then you get a Tampa Bay type of appearance and there's always like two or three per week
and then there's always two or three jets but and then the middle is just kind of like
yeah right like it's like it's something we've always known about football too like
we've always it's always been the thing there's like 11 minutes of actual action yep and we're like i was like that's why red zone those 11 minutes are amazing dude
think about red zone it's like we had to shout out to john taffer it's like this amazing idea
but it's like the only way that people consume it now because the regular way there's a lot of
which i and and i actually i for the average fan by the way i know the sports
fans are gonna jump down my throat right now but like for the average person you know watching like
the battle of field position and whatnot it's like i i had two blogs during that my um my tom
brady reign that i think were absolutely spot on in the sense one was that the patriots ruined
football which I think they
genuinely I was kind of being a dick at the time being like this is my team they're so good fuck
all your teams but it's true and then now that that's not my team anymore it is still my team
but it's you know the product on the field is unrecognizable to the team that was in existence
when I wrote that and I'm like ah man they might have ruined fucking football this this is hard to
watch and the other one was I didn't like red zone which people thought was crazy and I'm like ah man they might have ruined fucking football this this is hard to watch and
the other one was i didn't like red zone which people thought was crazy and i was like i like
watching a full game a drive yeah because it's because it always ends in but it ends in you know
a touchdown you know when that ends in like a fucking red zone pick or like oh i took a 20
yard sack and now you have to kick a field goal and we miss it or whatever else happens like half the time,
it feels like, well, I just watched a nine-minute drive for nothing.
You know?
It becomes the total opposite of, wow, that was good to watch.
It was, I mean, it was like when I wrote that blog that I prefer,
and it wasn't like fuck red zone.
It was just like I prefer watching a full game because I enjoy watching,
again, a nine-minute drive march on the field of Braves going, bam,
and enforcing his will.
And then we had great defenses too.
So then the flip side is we deny you exactly what you want.
And it feels great.
And it feels so awesome.
I don't want to watch a red zone score.
I want to watch this.
I want to watch us enforce our will upon you
and make you incapable of doing what you want.
You planned for this for a week, and
we still don't fucking care.
There's nothing you can do. Doesn't matter.
That was awesome to watch, too. And it's gone.
And now I'm watching Red Zone.
I'm like, put the fucking box game back on.
Where are you now?
What?
Are you a full Tampa Bay fan
now? I'm full tank for
trevor fan and then hey buddy we're knocking on the fucking door wait how many wins you have two
how many more you're gonna get i mean what are we talking about i'm not going to unless you can
somehow subtract two wins you are not getting trevor lawrence over the jets well it's the
crazy jets are the jets are literally they are 32nd in the league in like everything.
Everything.
There is no way you will beat the Jets in this tank.
It's also possible that the pass goal, because like the Cam Newton from yesterday is not
like, I watched Cam Newton go on the road in Seattle, who they really haven't beaten
anybody.
But, you know, they're still considered a very good team.
I watched them go to Seattle
and put up a hell of a game
to the point that there were fucking articles
written afterwards that the Patriots
must have cheated in how they got him.
It was fucking bullshit that he fell,
not fell to them,
but that no one else wanted him.
Even the Patriots,
when Cam didn't play in the Chiefs game,
they went on the road to Kansas City, and they gave Kansas City a game.
So it doesn't make any fucking sense that you suck as bad as you have the last two games when you went on the road and gave two of the best teams in the league good games.
It makes no fucking sense.
But that's what I'm saying.
I'm saying tank for Trevor, but it wouldn't surprise me if they went on a run and made the playoffs at like fucking eight and eight or some shit.
I wonder you're not wrong, but I wonder, like, maybe another season of this, like at some point, the rules have to start applying to them again.
They're not the rules, but just like I don't think logic has to start.
Eventually, the probability it's probable.
Eventually, you have to start. they have to start being like,
yeah, it could happen, but they're not going to make that run.
I don't think that we will.
Belichick will always have that in you.
It has to be once Belichick leaves.
I think as long as Bill's there, there will be the belief.
Or like five years of him proving otherwise.
You think he'll still always think.
I think as long as Bill's there,
there will be that,
that little fucking voice.
I wonder what he,
like how long,
how,
what,
what will make him retire?
Like,
you know,
will he be able to take,
if it is a five year run of mediocrity,
is he like,
all right,
I'm done.
Or will he just keep chasing it?
He,
cause I also,
I think he is driven by ego and whatnot.
Not wholly,
but I think there is more to that than he lets on.
But I also could see him being like, I just need football to live.
You know when you die because your wife dies?
Right, right.
He'll die if he retires.
Because he is a football fan.
Right.
What do you want to do, hang out with your grandkids?
No.
There's absolutely some aspect to it of ego.
But he was like seven years old at Indianapolis,
just sitting in film rooms watching football.
So he'll probably be around forever.
And so you'll always kind of have something in the back of your head.
But let me, I just have to say, and I know it's not you.
I know I'm never going to get this from you.
We have these arguments like once or twice a year during football season. But for the new grandfathered in fair weather fan of New England,
because that's what it is.
It's not that you're, again, I'm not saying you're like a fake fan
because I know you watch and know.
But the definition of like fair weather, meaning you can only watch it
or only enjoy it or only care about it.
If it's good,
that's what's happening.
I think that's what's happening.
Right.
And so like it or not,
it's just,
it's just,
and playing semantics.
Right.
But you,
we can play the semantics game.
We can,
we can,
you can like it or not.
You're a fair weather fan now.
And I say you meaning like the,
probably the majority of new England.
There's some guys who have been around prior to Brady
who still remember how to lose.
And there's probably some fans who are so dedicated
who aren't doing the Tampa Bay thing,
who are like pissed off the Pats fans are bad.
But I think the majority are in this fair weather mentality
where, you know, one guy tweeted me saying,
I'm 45, man. I've seen everything i need to see and now i now i watch my kids play sports and i don't need to i don't need like the patriots
anymore i'm like okay fine if we're now going to say that you retire from being a sports fan at 45
okay yes in that case you won uh but for everyone else who's still going to watch their team, you have basically turned into a Fairweather fan,
and that's all that I can hope to take solace in.
Because you're just not playing by the rules,
the rules of sports fandom,
and I get that.
It's kind of like when Tyler in the NBA was just like,
no, I'm just going to root for all the teams.
And it's like, well, no, you're not allowed to do that.
And he'd be like, what?
And it's like, well, yeah, yes, right.
You can just do whatever you want
because there are no rules to this.
But the whole point of sports is bragging rights
and busting balls and fighting over it
and arguing over it.
And there's a winner and a loser and there's a back and forth.
And then you hope that it flips or you hope that it's even.
And like for that,
like seven year run with the pads didn't win.
It kind of was even,
there was like,
you guys would dominate in the regular season,
always made the playoffs.
But then I would always like clink champagne at the very end.
Cause you got eliminated.
And it was like this back and forth.
And then you went on such a run that it was like,
there is no fun to it.
And now you're just taking your ball and going home.
I'll take my ball and go to Florida.
Right, right.
And you're, I said you're unplugging the Nintendo.
And I'm going to stop in Tennessee along the way.
You're unplugging the Nintendo or pressing reset as soon as you're losing.
You are, you're throwing a calm temper tantrum.
And it fucking sucks because then it's like it almost in a way, though, kind of does negate.
Not negate.
Again, this is also stupid because it's all just like made up rules and shit about sports fandom.
But it's like, had I known you guys were just going to like not care once they're bad.
Oh, I knew this was going to happen.
But I wouldn't have.
And I'm speaking for me, but also, like, I think a majority of people who, as you said, like, don't know how to lose and don't know what football really is are like, well, I like a good guy.
That's so annoying.
Had I known you were going to be like that, I don't think I would have been even bothered as much during the real run.
Like, it does kind of diminish to me, like, what you guys were thinking or feeling or saying or doing, knowing now that when times were bad, you're just like, I don't care.
I care.
Just care about Tampa Bay.
And so.
I mean, and also I fucking care. Like, it sucks to watch that. That's why I'd rather about Tampa Bay. And so. I mean, and also I fucking care.
Like, it sucks to watch that.
That's why I'd rather watch Tampa Bay.
Like, it fucking is a pain.
Like, it's gut-wrenching.
Like, I know a lot of guys on the team.
I like a lot of guys on the team.
And it sucks to watch them have to go through that.
Also, I'd rather watch a back shoulder to Rob Gronkowski.
If there was no Tampa Bay bay what would you do net what would you do then would you just not watch anything no i think
when tom retires it'll be back to 100 patriots but like will you will you be able to sit there
and watch bad patriots yes yes as long as if because tom like my connection to tom is so
strong like i i wrote a blog.
I think it was Tom Brady Forever.
I headlined it When Brady Left where I was like he raised a generation of people from New England.
Like it was – we're dickheads.
We're assholes.
It's all because of confidence that Tom Brady inspired in us because like that's all we knew our whole life.
And so once he's gone, yes, my allegiance will be back to 100%
the Patriots.
I don't know if you have it in you.
I could be.
I knew if he ever left,
I would also root for his team.
And I knew that back in 2012.
Because rumors started swirling with stuff
like that forever ago. Not 2012, but
the Max Kellerman clip was 51
months ago. The infamous Max
Kellerman, I don't know whatever he said. He fell off a cliff
or whatever. He fell off a cliff in short
order. But like
I want to say it was like
2013, 2014, like rumors
started swirling. Brady might not be
here forever. And I was like,
I knew in my heart, I was like, if he goes somewhere
I will also like that team.
I'm not banning the Patriots because I like the Bledsoe Patriots.
I was so fucking young that it was just like my dad was like, like the team, so I like that team.
But I knew wherever he went, part of my heart was going to go there.
But also like sitting here now, I know once he's gone, I have no fucking connection to Tampa.
No, no, of course.
But I really don't think you guys have the capacity.
And I don't even really blame you.
I am starting to dwindle on sports fandom because of just the erosion.
There's the fucking tides just knocking me.
And Steve Cullen's giving me a little bit of hope.
But this Jets fan is probably the worst I've ever seen.
This Jets team is probably the worst in my lifetime.
Which is insane. Which is insane.
Insane to see, to look at
what I've seen and be like,
this is definitively worse than all of those other ones.
That's crazy.
So I'm,
so I get it, but what's crazy
is that it's happening to you guys,
you know, I guess not like that. I guess it's like
it is, we're just coming from opposite
ends. For me, it's been 20 years of years of longer than that but 20 years of misery that has made me kind of want
to quit sports and you guys are now have had 20 years of success that's making you want to quit
football and that's bullshit that sucks that sucks it does it just is like like i said had i known
i wouldn't have like really even cared as much about, you know, had I known that it was really going to result in like a majority of bandwagon fans.
I wouldn't have even been as affected, I don't think.
Because, you know, especially when you're younger and you start with this shit, it is there is like a dumb pride element attached to it.
Right.
You make fun of the pink hats.
You make fun of bandwagon fairweather.
You make fun of people who can't name the names on the team and all that kind of shit.
And you make fun of the people who are like, you can't handle it.
You're not committed.
You're not in the trenches and all these dumb things that we come up with as sports fans.
And you motherfuckers became that.
So what I'm trying, what would, how it should have gone is that you guys should be miserable now. And it's like a fun thing to watch the guys from the top go to the bottom and like watch them take their medicine.
But I think what I didn't anticipate, but what I think the only way we're gonna me, Jets fans, and basically all
non-New England fans, the only way we'll get
any satisfaction is knowing
is feeling that
we're not watching you
hit the bottom and take your medicine.
We're watching you
lose football altogether.
It does not bring
nearly the same satisfaction.
What it should be like i said
there's a there's a life cycle with with fandom and you go to the top and you're the man and then
when you're on the bottom we get to make fun of you and we kick you while you're down and you're
supposed to be upset and miserable and we're supposed to be able to feel that and see that
and you guys are just not doing it you just won't agree you're just not turning your key i'm like
i'm like turn your key just like give in you have to capitulate to this and just feel the misery and you're not doing it so that last night
like oh you're being so quiet right now the patriots suck i'm like i'm i'm being so quiet
i'm watching brady dominate so annoying and what i'm trying to convince myself is like but not
equal but another variation of that that i never saw coming is that you guys are just fair weather
fair weather bandwagon fans uh that's fair and that's fun it is fun to be like new england is
a bunch of fair weather fans and you can't deny it if you guys are fucking telling me tweeting me
showing me that you don't care it's not but it's not like it hurts it's like i care it's not like, it hurts. Like, I care.
It hurts to watch that.
It hurts to see that.
But so the way you're handling that is just by, like, quitting.
It's, okay, here's the deal.
It's like a hangover, right?
In, like, it sucks.
I feel terrible, and this is brutal, and it's awful.
But also, I have my little Bloody Mary in Tampa,
where it's like, this will make me feel a little better.
So Tom Brady's your hair of the dog.
Yeah.
And it's like you should just have to sit there and be miserable, but you've got this little cheat code.
Yeah, I got another sip over here that's making me feel a little.
So I guess what I really need.
I still understand what's happening.
And I'm like this. But eventually.
So keeping up with that analogy,
eventually that Bloody Mary runs out.
Or eventually you have to stop drinking for one reason or another.
And then you're truly hungover.
Or I'm Tommy Lee.
And you just keep drinking forever.
You needed hair of the dog this weekend.
This was an adolescent to adolescent type weekend.
It's brought to you by Miller Lite, which makes sense,
because I would imagine the Miller Lites were flowing,
because I was told that John...
I was told John Henry's night ended at 7.
Yep.
A.M.
A.M.
It was not like, oh, I went out for happy hour from 5 to 7,
had a couple drinks, and then called it a day.
It was 7 a.m.
7 a.m.
Eastern Time.
Sun was coming.
In the morning.
Actually, sun wasn't coming up.
Cockadoodledoo.
No, it doesn't come up that early anymore now with the change.
I can't believe, by the way, we haven't done the clocks yet.
It's already dark and shit.
We haven't done the daylight savings yet, so it's going to start getting real fucking dark.
We haven't done daylight savings?
November 2nd, I believe.
I want to say November 2nd.
Oh, that's perfect.
Right, with the election and everything?
Check me on that, Nick.
I might have made that up.
I might be wrong.
But yeah, I mean, it's just like, let's just throw the world into physical and literal,
figurative, all anarchy.
Let's do it.
The first.
The first.
Close enough.
7 a.m. for John.
So I would imagine, well, responsibly drinking.
But as long as you're enjoying responsibly,
you can have Miller Lite at any time,
literally morning, noon, night, a.m., p.m.,
with anybody in any setting over the computer,
in person, at a bar.
You could have it six feet apart.
You could have it sitting on each other's laps
if you're allowed to, wherever, whenever.
Wherever!
Wherever!
Miller Lite is...
You want to stick here?
Yeah, baby.
Moving those fucking hips.
You can enjoy it with the most important people in your life in the most important times.
Miller Lite.
Brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
At the Miller Brewery Company.
With just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
It is the go-to beer that That's great taste, less filling.
So if you want to drink a few,
not worry about your weight,
not worry about your wallet and not worry about the taste and make sure that
you have yourself a special time with your friends.
Miller light is the go-to beer.
So go to Miller light.com slash KFC to find the delivery options near you,
which is key,
man.
You get everything delivered these days.
Everyone was on that train to begin with, and then COVID brought it even further.
So deliver your beer right to your apartment.
Go to MillerLight.com slash KFC.
7 a.m. for John Henry.
That's a time.
I mean, man, I couldn't gun to my head.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't.
I could not do that.
It's not that hard.
Oh, it's so hard.
You know what it is for me?
It's like, I mean,
there's
two things. I don't think I could sit
on a bar stool for seven hours anymore.
I think eventually I'd be like, I need to lay down.
It wasn't seven hours.
It was probably 15 hours.
I got there about 3 p.m.
I didn't know it was that early. I was going to say
it's like 12, 12 so that's i got there
at 3 3 30 so that's 16 hours yeah 16 hours at a bar like that's what i mean i don't think i could
stand or sit i eventually i would need to get horizontal and also i mean eventually i think i
get bored nah not anymore back in there was a time know, we'd go to saloon for a thousand hours.
I can remember a March Madness day.
We went to a place called Stout over by the garden.
We were there.
Ran up like a thousand dollar bill at a time where, you know, those were a big deal.
The only reason I got kicked out of Stout that day, the only reason I left Stout is because I got kicked out because we were all so banged up that i was making out with the chick in the bar to the
point and like so aggressively so that the bouncer came over to me and like tapped me on the shoulder
and was like come on like come on like you know what's happening yeah like and like good for you
you know like i can see what you two were about to do here take her home you have to do it elsewhere
you can't just have sex here at this bar he He wasn't even, like, kicking you out.
He was wingmaning you.
Yes.
Like, hey, bro, you've reached the point where it's like you want to get out of here.
Get out of here.
He was looking out for me by, you know, putting me in a cab.
But, you know, now I don't think I can do those anymore out of physical incapability and emotional and mental incapability.
I don't know how you do it, bro.
See, I'm good at drinking.
Yep.
Maybe the best.
So what happened was that everyone got there so early.
The party started so early that everyone got so fucked up
and, like, left, like, pretty early.
Like, not pretty early, like midnight-ish.
When you say everyone.
I mean literally everyone.
You were solo dolo.
None of the people you were
with remained with you.
Some did until like one or two.
So that is
a whole other night. Like another
five or six hours.
If I went to a bar for six hours right now,
that would be a long time
for me. That was just your post game.
Yeah. Well, alright, so here's the deal.
So we went to this bar. That is like our bar. And we're friends with the owners. You guys should just your post game. Yeah. Well, all right. So here's the deal. So we went to this bar.
It's like our bar.
And we're friends with the owners.
We're friends with the bartenders.
You guys should just buy in at this point.
And so the owners and everyone was like, as soon as we got there at 3 on Saturday, everyone
was like, the owners and stuff were like, dude, we left our cars at home.
We're fucking, we're going tonight.
And I was like, fuck yeah, we are.
Okay, yeah. And then when the bar started to close, everyone was so fucked up, dude, we left our cars at home. We're fucking, we're going tonight. And I was like, fuck yeah, we are. Okay, yeah.
And then when the bar started to close, everyone was so fucked up, they'd already left.
But the guys were ready to go.
Let's keep rocking.
I was like, I'll take this one.
Oh, twist my arm.
You take one for the team.
You're the hero of the bunch, huh?
And we were like, we went to different places.
And we didn't stay the whole time.
And I remember my girlfriend went home at about one thirty and at like five thirty or six.
She she'd woken up and just texted me like, hey, I just want to make sure you're OK.
And I responded right away.
I was like, I'm great.
I'm grand.
So you were like coherent still.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good to go.
Yeah.
No, I'm great.
Like, we're just hanging out. I have some beers. okay see you soon i hope maybe i don't know and at this
point all of barstool and all your friends have gone home including the birthday girl birthday
girl went home early that chick's a fucking lightweight well yeah listen she's over the
hill now you know she's washed up that old bitch uh it was in fact casey listen, she's over the hill now. You know what I mean? She's washed up, that old bitch.
It was, in fact, Casey's birthday.
She's turning 41.
And one of her, let's call it birthday gifts this year,
was a piece of art, Piece of artwork. It was a random fan of Barstool got a tattoo of Casey Smith on his arm, leg, I don't even know where.
We were trying to figure out, we couldn't really tell.
It's either upper arm or bicep.
That tattoo.
Upper leg or bicep.
He got a tattoo of Caseyy smith with eye black on it says t12 nonsense i mean i guess it gave him on the forehead high noon like a fucking like the tattoo
that uh dog face 420 has on the back of his head uh and a lombardi trophy is that what that is
lombardi and uh you know casey with a gold lombardi which yeah Is that what that is? Yeah, it's a Lombardi. And, you know, Casey with, like...
It's a gold Lombardi,
which also doesn't make sense.
What's the top left there?
Or is that just another tattoo?
I think it's a separate tattoo.
It says,
hashtag gig him on her forehead.
That's another face.
Yeah, he has...
He replied to someone
where he has, like...
He has other women
on tattooed on his body.
We couldn't figure out
who they are.
Miley says Miley,
so we could see that one.
There was another girl
that was just, like,
another analyst, I think.
Oh, really?
Dude just has multiple, which kind of, if I'm Casey, I'm kind of like, well, what the fuck, dude?
I think we should call the police.
I told her that this is going to be the thing she sees before she dies.
I was like, so I really started going in on it last night.
Well, so let me ask you this.
This hits the internet.
This hits Twitter.
Casey Smith gets tagged.
It says, fan art, Casey.
No, wait, what was like the one, what did he say?
And what is Casey Smith's first reaction?
Because I don't know what she said, and I don't know what she's saying.
She said, it went down tonight at Casey Smith.
And that's it, really.
Hashtag gig him.
Hashtag TV12.
Hashtag time noon.
And thanks to the dude who did the art.
So no grand caption or anything.
He just said, it went down tonight.
Here's a tattoo.
She loves this.
She loves this.
I don't know I don't make fun of tattoos
because they are so permanent
you just don't want to make the person feel bad
I don't want to make the person feel bad
when I saw that last night I was like
it's actually pretty good for a tattoo that was
clearly done by someone in a straight jacket
like it is
it is going to be i i
told casey this and i don't she didn't realize it and i kind of broke the glass on her for this one
but i was like just so you know he comes on this and she was like oh my god i hadn't thought of
that and i was like he 100 comes on your face on his arm or leg or whatever it is. Well, I suppose it depends on where it is, right?
It doesn't matter where it is.
I mean, you think if it's like upper arm, you think he can like –
Or he comes in his hand and then wipes it.
Yeah, like somehow –
Or he puts his cum on her face.
That guy puts his cum on her face and then like takes a picture of it
or sits there and looks at it and like marvels at his cum on Casey Smith's face.
God, I hope her parents don't listen to this podcast anymore.
Oh, shit.
I wish you didn't say that because I had a lot more to say.
Got to say it, bro.
Come on.
Let it rip.
No, like that's going to be like he's going to make her look at that before he murders her.
Yeah, that's just that's a fact.
Like, like, see how much I love you you the next tattoo will be like her dead face you know like like like one arm is her alive
and her second face is her after i've killed her and guess what he comes on that one too
i mean this is not fellas this is not cool this is sim city simp simp city that is funny simp city the simpulation this is
a problem dude this guy needs help and casey needs protection casey i mean this is how it starts
this is how it starts we're all laughing and then this guy is parked outside of her apartment
with like a pair of binoculars no see this is it actually kind of connects to what we were saying
earlier i don't know look at that guy he seems pretty peaceful he looks like a hawaiian dude
he looks like uh i don't know looks like he's not gonna murder you
the tattoo i mean he's inked up all over so it's hard to tell where it looks like maybe it's right
on his calf there so you think he's just kind of like doing one of these?
Just like pow!
He just kind of crosses his legs and just...
Because I'll tell you what, John.
If you're going to get a tattoo and you want to come on the tattoo's face,
you can do what you said, like rub it on there,
but you want to hit the money shot.
You want to deliver the money shot.
God, this is so bad.
Gig him on the forehead is just.
The high noon.
It's all.
The high noon is really on.
Honestly, that's, you know, the TV 12 makes sense.
She really.
Kind of.
Well, that's like.
No, no.
Does it?
For Casey.
But does it?
Like, I think what he should have done is the Cowboys, the Patriots and Tom Brady, because
that's like the running joke with her.
But the high noon is like, I i mean high noon must fucking love this like great you know um yeah like she does a
lot of ads and she drinks the high noons but god i don't think of like it's synonymous with casey
smith and high noon to the point that you get it tatted on her face uh you know what she should be
for halloween is this oh that's a great idea. She should get Gigum, the eye black, and write high noon on her face.
Yes.
And be her own shrine to death, you know?
What are those guys?
Don't those guys call that, like, shrining or something like that?
I've never heard.
It makes sense.
You know what I'm talking about, Nick?
No.
There's something.
It's a KB, Nick, you know, it's a Ken Jack world thing.
Yeah.
And I think Ellie used to talk about it, too.
Like, simps, I think, I think, will print out pictures of girls
and build a little shrine to them and come on it.
It's something to do with shrine or something with that word.
And that's what this is.
And so Casey's going to be her own come-death shrine for Halloween.
Oh, God.
I'm going to make her do it.
And honestly, if she doesn't do it, I'll do it.
That's a better idea. I come in with a wig and we have a gig of it. I think don't tell her. I think don't tell her. I think you make her do it. And honestly, if she doesn't do it, I'll do it. Wait, that's a better idea.
I come in with a wig and we have a gig.
I think that's a better idea.
I think don't tell her.
I think don't tell her.
I think you have to do that.
Can you do it?
I don't want to dress up.
Can you do it?
Somebody else needs to do that.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's a great costume.
I just don't want to do the Halloween costume.
But if I did, if I had to, I would do the Casey Smith gigum come death.
Come death shrine picture you think that as a tattoo artist
it's an interesting
ethical
debate in my mind like when someone
comes to you with just a horrific idea
you're supposed to just be like check cleared bro
I don't care you know right you don't ever
like you don't ever weigh in on
if it was my friend I'd weigh in
but as the artist.
I assume your friends have already talked to you.
Yeah.
You've heard from your friends.
But, you know, we go to Fleischman, and she's like, no.
As a hair stylist, that's a bad idea.
But she's our friend.
I think that she does that for everybody.
Because I think she takes the art, the craft so seriously.
Are there people out there who take the tattoo artwork craft so serious that they're like, I don't want you going out there saying I did this.
You know, what's his name?
Like, I don't want to shout it out in a bad way, but like, you know, the guy tagged him.
And yeah, people being like Joe Smith, the tattoo artist.
Pretty good.
It's good art, but it's just such a bad...
Unless, I mean, as far as come-death shrines go,
it's probably top-notch.
So maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe this guy is like...
Maybe that's his wheelhouse.
Do you have a girl?
Do you want to eventually murder,
but in the meantime come on her artwork face?
I'm your guy, Jiminy Cricket.
This is just... is just so bad but but i do you you didn't get any
react like i mean it is flattering in some sort of way like if this happened to you if some if a
chick got a tattoo of you would your reaction be like what the fuck or would your reaction kind of
be like yo nah i'd like that because i know she can't murder me yeah that's true and also very hard for a girl to come on you but i wouldn't if a girl was
coming on my tattoo i think i would be like flat i'd like it yeah but we wouldn't have that threat
of death right like you kind of do but not really all right but eliminate the threat of death
it's a hard one to eliminate it's a big ask i'm asking you to take a big leap here
but from a just a ego point of view is it a cool thing or is it a like i i think it's a cool thing
i i don't think that she like there was not the reaction like i love that she did show it to
people obviously because i'd show it to everyone but she was like that's what i wonder i had to
like help her craft her tweet
what do I say to this
I'm obviously going to relentlessly
bust her balls about this on radio
and I'm wondering if she
is saying all that but on some level she's like
I'm sure there's a level where you like it
ugly girls and not popular girls
and not successful girls don't get cum tattoos
so they don't boo nobody
they don't even get murdered fucking losers
right but you know, so they don't boo nobodies. They don't even get murdered, fucking losers. Right.
Well, sometimes they do. Yeah, but
you know, they're not top notch. They're not first overall
pick. It's like when they say they don't boo nobodies
and it's like, that's what you say.
It's true, but it's also what you say to someone who's getting
relentlessly booed to make them feel better. Right. Well, you know,
when a bird shits on you on your wedding day, it's good luck
because you're covered in bird shit. When
you have a cum death shrine tattoo,
you know, we're going to spin it and say this is a good thing uh but you know when people first started getting
like barstool tattoos i remember being like that's cool that we are on that level but i also remember
people being like boy you're you know you're people were like simping for us you know what
i mean it's like oh these are just like a bunch of dudes who like bloggers you're gonna get inked
up that way so i remember being like this is, but not this is flattering, but not cool.
You know, this is, I guess, flattering, but not something you really want.
It's something that Casey will think about every night before she lays her head down.
Yeah.
Tonight.
Until the night she does. Until he finally kicks in the door.
It's like, you know why
Casey didn't think about it tonight?
And the day he kicks in the door, she'll probably be like,
fucking finally. I've been stressing about this
for so long. You know what she should do?
Marry this guy.
Just give him what he wants
so you don't die.
Be like, yeah, okay, we'll live together forever.
Just don't kill me.
You know the reason why Casey didn't think me. Because, like, you know what?
You know the reason why Casey didn't think about it tonight when she laid her head down?
It's because she's dead.
Because she can't think about anything ever again
because he finally got to her and murdered her.
Wow.
I mean, that is, nobody's even come close to anything like that, right?
Has Dave got, is there anybody who has a Dave tattoo?
That's probably happened, right?
I think a couple.
A couple Dave tattoos, yeah.
I've seen those floating around.
But again, that is a weird, you know, there's no, well, I was going to say there's no, like,
sexual, you know, element to that, but maybe there is.
And there's certainly no death, violence element to that.
It's there, it's just not as prominent.
Right.
Like, this is a, you know, guy chatting up a pretty girl.
When a girl tried to, like to keep me in her basement.
I'd probably get out again.
I'd probably get out when you know what?
Like eventually you got to like feed me.
And when that happens, I'll get I'll do the Walter White.
I'll break the plate.
I'll stab you.
I'll kill you.
Eventually I'll get out.
Okay.
But yeah, congrats to Casey Smith.
You are officially enshrined forever.
And I'll tell you what.
You know what?
I'll tell you why Casey likes it. Out of all the artwork that's been done of her recently that's the best yeah
she's had a tough go of uh moon man sam trying to capture the way she looks that one i bet there
was an element she might not admit it but there was an element of her going finally finally someone
got me and made me look hot so whether or not she wants to admit it,
Casey's happy on some level with the Come Death Shrine tattoo.
All right, we've got to get into our top fives, of course, and voicemails.
But first, we've got to do a little internet.
It's kind of like an internet 1.0 type thing.
Some good videos that were floating around last night. One that I saw and cursed the timeline with
much to people's dismay late last night.
And one that Fight saw during the World Series that I didn't.
So we're going to play them live for each other right now
and get the initial reaction from each of us for these videos
that we both are seeing for the first time.
I want to start with mine. This was actually posted originally by reggie who is one of our new interns
who's now actually running the kicks in the office page uh he's a sneaker head who's revamping the
whole kicks in the office page and he's got a really good plug he does a series called before
the drop because he gets access to every shoe now before they come out so if you want to get a first
look at sneakers,
Kicks in the Office is the spot to do it.
So Reggie tweets this out with no, he just had the emoji where it's like,
you know, can we blow it up?
Can we do full?
It's a wrestling video.
This is John's reaction.
This is a backyard wrestling.
Yeah, backyard wrestling.
This is a recipe for disaster.
He's on the top rope there.
You see him in black?
He's stepping up on that.
It's hard for you to see.
Okay, let it rip.
Is there sound to it?
Yeah, if you don't...
Yeah, pop the headphones on
just because you want to hear the, like, the mat.
You know, quote-unquote mat,
which is clearly just a piece of plywood,
which definitely plays into effect here.
Oh! oh my god give me wait listen that dude just broke his legs give me a freeze frame if you if you don't mind nick it looks shout out to rob Fox. He characterized this the best. It looks like a puppet who has just crumpled up.
I mean, look.
Look at that.
Like I said, it looks like the it's going to be me in sync puppets.
I mean, his legs are just completely backwards.
He went full flamingo.
He went full Portnoy with it and i mean clearly uh clearly it's it's not entirely his fault as the wrestling mat
is just a piece of wood that does not give at all but however that being said this gentleman
was about to he was about to participate in a full wrestling match and couldn't handle that
oh he was about to i thought he just won oh well i i yeah
maybe i don't know i i took that as like you know when you first come in yeah yeah and to not be
able to just you know hop off the second rope maybe even the first rope and do a little uh
you know just a little hop and turn i mean and here's the funniest if you will part of that
i mean that guy i'll tell you what to dark with it, that guy probably ends up killing himself.
Because think about it.
That guy is probably in a wheelchair for the next 12 to 18 months.
And something tells me he's not like.
He looks like Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
Something tells me he's not doing like a white collar financial analyst job something tells me he just lost his gig down at the factory because he can't walk anymore so that guy is probably
unemployed not making any money anytime soon has two broken legs in a wheelchair can't get in and
out of his trailer park certainly can't do the love of his life anymore backyard wrestling
i mean that guy probably ends up killing himself because on a sunday night i don't think he does it intentionally
i think he does oh my god i mean he just and he's so fucking drunk he forgets if he already
took his oxy yes exactly that you know what said? Oh, we're stereotyping.
Hardcore.
What's up, middle America?
It's a little hillbilly oxy.
Are you from a flyover state?
I'd like to insult you real quick.
You work in a factory.
You're drunk.
You live in a trailer park.
And you forget how many oxys you take on a daily basis.
Oh, my God god and you suffer backyard
wrestling injuries i mean that that's it in a nutshell stereotypes exist for a reason john and
that was that was we just went we just went west virginia bingo on them b-i-n-g-o there it is come
on down you're the winner boom Boomer Sooner. Love Oklahoma.
I said this would happen to Coley Mick if he was a backyard wrestler.
Could you not see that?
His upper body with his toothpick legs. Coley just hopping down, pop, breaking them as he got vertigo.
Coley, I love you.
He's shaped like a potato with toothpicks stuck in it.
Unbelievable.
All right, now, so you got your video that I did not see.
I think this might be more horrifying.
No.
Do I need audio?
Is this?
No.
Okay.
Okay, so we did the horrific entry, and apparently this is more disgusting.
I've thought about this.
This overshadowed Casey's fucking tattoo.
Because this is just.
What? It's just. What?
It's just.
It's hot dogs that slither.
Yeah.
I mean, that's.
It's.
I mean, that's.
Oh, no.
Like.
Oh.
It's so smooth.
It's slither.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a.
It's a. It's a. It's a. It's disgusting. Is that at the baseball game?
Yeah, Fox, right?
Yeah, it's Fox.
It was the baseball game.
Those are hot dogs in Texas?
Oh, my goodness gracious.
And they're like the wrong color, kind of.
This guy was like, this is my moment.
I'm going to make sure we really encapsulate how fucking that bend right there.
Grotesquely long.
These hot dogs are.
Those are those are what?
Those are not footlongs.
Those are 18 inches.
Yeah.
Oh, those are.
Oh, my heavens to Betsy.
Do you know what that is?
That's like, you know, that's like a like one of the like freak porn stars when they're soft.
I don't think so.
I don't think you can find a soft dick that big.
Yeah, you're right.
Aside from that guy who always wears bike shorts everywhere.
Remember him, the dude with the world's biggest dick?
But you know, he has girth.
He's got girth.
Yeah, he is.
And the girth makes it better.
The thinness here, the skinniness is what presents the real problem.
The way that it just bends
down, it looks like when you're
doing this move.
That's the hot dog version of that.
I mean, if I ordered
that, I just want
a fucking six-inch hot dog.
I just want a normal hot dog.
I don't need it to be that big, and I certainly don't
need it to slither like a snake. When you see the big hot dogs you finally realize that like girls
aren't lying who are like i don't like big penis yeah right all right it makes sense i don't want
a big hot dog i don't want that in my face in my mouth inside of me near me no oh god that is and
ironically like that's what our backyard wrestlers' legs look like.
Yeah, yeah.
In a weird way, these all kind of tie together.
God, the internet is a horrible, horrible place
just where you can see the grossest of the grosses,
whether it's food or horribly broken bones.
Ugh.
All right, time now to get into our top fives.
It's brought to you by Cuts Clothing.
Cuts is one of those brands that's popped up over the last couple years that has –
It's all anyone in this fucking office wears.
I know.
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But you know what?
Like they earned it.
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They are like – they made exactly the type of clothes that I like.
Basically all I want to wear is either shit that I designed myself and we make here at
Barstool for the Viva brand, Sad Boys season, all the stuff that we've created over the
years or clothes like cuts, because it's like you reach a point.
I think when you become like a little bit older where it's like, you're not rocking
like a graphic tee, you're not wearing stuff with like a big logo on it or a picture on
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Sometimes you do that like for, for a party or for the weekend or for the summer day at the beach or whatever but for like
your everyday clothes what do you wear it's stuff like cuts it's just like singular solid colored
shirts that come in different cuts and different styles but for the most part it's just like
a navy shirt a black shirt a gray a white shirt, stuff that matches with everything that doesn't look like, you know, you're not it's not lame.
It's not boring, but it's also not like try hard.
It's like stylish, but it's low key.
It's kind of that perfect in between where you could kind of wear it, you know, out to
the bar or you could wear like a nice jacket over it and look like, you know, you could
go on a date or wear it to the office.
They've got they've got T-shirts.
They've got long sleeve tees.
They now are in the hoodie game.
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They've got the Henley, the crew neck, the V-neck scoop, like I said.
So basically you pick your your shirt, you pick your cut basically you pick your your shirt you pick your cut you pick
your neck you pick your color and you can mix and match all of them now they have hoodies and polos
so if you need a collar you got those and they're all um that like soft kind of stretchy material
looks great looks great if you're in shape if you're not in shape it's okay it's not
gonna like show like off you know uh where you where you need improvement but if you're if you're
in shape you're gonna look fucking hot as shit yeah if you know it's not like you're gonna see
so sometimes those tight shirts it's like well there are your tits and there are your love handles
uh but with cuts you can rock them no matter what. But if you are in shape, go right ahead and flex on them bitches.
Apparently, the new hoodies I'm reading here are from French Terry, which I love.
I love a good Terry.
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I don't know if I know Terry.
It's kind of like not towel-y, but like.
Okay, yes, I do.
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C U T S clothing.com slash KFC 15% off the only shirt worth wearing top five it's almost halloween
a couple days to go right what's the date 26 so halloween is this week top five uh halloween
costume ideas for 2020 that people are thinking are going to be funny and they're going to be
like oh yeah we we fucking get it one of the worst days of my life uh was halloween maybe
2000 i don't know let's call it 13 when i was a chilean minor and i
thought that that was gonna be clever remember that year that all the minors were trapped i know
the minor as well yeah and uh you know like i mean i mean every single person at saloon was a minor
yeah jorge galileo was a big one yeah that guy when he had the wife and the mistress both there
when he was being pulled up and the joke was that he was like, just send me back down.
Just send me back down.
But, yeah, everybody had the same idea as me.
And I did go the extra step, and I got the throwback shirt that said,
sex with a minor, and I had a picture of a minor.
And you were in brownface, of course.
Yes, of course.
I put a little mustache on, and I talked with an accent all night.
Hey, you see?
I'm stuck in a mine, man.
People didn't know that they were L.A. gangbangers before they moved to the Chilean mines.
You also, I think maybe the same year, you were just a giant Jewish guy.
I was just a Jewish person.
That was probably earlier, because that was the whole fake Jewish thing.
Yeah, so that was 2011. Yeah, I don't know if that just a Jewish person. That was probably earlier because that was like the whole fake Jewish thing. Yeah, that was like 2011.
Yeah, I don't know if that was the same year.
Actually, it might have been 2010.
That was pretty much the same year that I did the minors.
I don't know when I did the minors, to be honest.
But there was a year at Saloon where you had like the flat black hat and the Pez curls,
Pez curls, whatever they're called.
Yeah, I was the fake Jew.
I remember my dad was like very concerned.
He's like, you're going to get jumped.
I was like, what are you talking about, man?
I'm not like a rabbi, like an evil rabbi.
I'm just a rabbi.
Jewish guy.
But it is funny.
Now you probably couldn't get away with that.
They would just be like, I don't get the joke.
If you were just like an overly Jewish guy, you'd be like, you know.
Did you see clips of the new Borat movie, which I guess is not very good at all.
I haven't heard of it.
Oh, really?
The lights camera guys are the only people I've heard say anything good about it.
Everybody else.
Oh, I had a buddy text me last night that it was hilarious.
Really?
Yeah.
I've just seen just from the timeline here and there.
Nobody important.
But I know Big Cat didn't like it.
Minahan didn't like it.
Oddly enough, I saw Adam 22 from No Jumper said it was terrible.
So just the vibe I've seen is not good.
But there was one clip of.
I mean, that makes sense.
That checks out.
I can see it.
Well, it's some people are saying it's like to the world is too political now.
And some people are saying he's too famous now that he can't get people.
I also think that we as a like culture, I don't know if that whole thing plays as well as it did.
I think there was a time where it was like,
holy shit.
Like it was almost like still like the punk era.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And I just don't think that has the same.
I'm with you.
Like the man on the street type video.
Right.
And stuff like that.
We've just kind of advanced past that in a way.
You have to be.
There was a time when like.
The only thing on the internet was man on the street.
Man on the street.
And it was because it was new and it was hot.
But I think now if you do it it you have to be like fucking hilarious like but now everyone just
knows like oh you filmed for 17 hours and you got three funny clips right who cares i remember like
uh like not funny you're editing them dog remember him yeah yeah like that was like i remember at one
point being like that's the funniest thing i've ever seen. For me to poop on. Like that is so funny.
And now I think we've just, I wonder if we're reaching a point where the internet has brought you so much entertainment.
That we, like the bar is just so high now.
Yeah.
Like you really got to be fucking funny.
That's why I'm so happy we're grandfathered in that people just like to hear our thoughts on shit.
Because I say this all the time.
If I had to do like Barstool Idol, what would we do?
Here's my audition. Like we're just going to talk about the topics of the day. Like I'm happy you guys listen. If I had to do like Barstool Idol, what would we do? Here's my audition.
Like, we're just going to talk about the topics of the day.
Like, I'm happy you guys listen.
Please don't stop.
But I don't know why you do.
All right.
So anyway, off track there.
Top five costumes for 2020.
You want to start us off?
Should I go first?
What?
You go first.
Okay.
I think this is going to be.
I think this is not a bad one.
This is not. But I think there's going to be a ton of them.
I think it's a late entry that a lot of people are going to do.
And you're going to be like one of 50 at the party.
And it's Dogface 420.
You're going to go get a bottle of cranberry juice.
You're going to go out with your skateboard because it's easy enough.
You're going to put on a white shirt.
You can get the cranberry juice.
I believe he sells this costume. I am sure he is all over this i'm sure dog face 420
is making money on every possible way he can do this um i believe he gives us a hard time i don't
think we like him what do you mean he like gives like you know you know to get like rights to play
our to play videos now oh he like won't give us his rights or some shit really yeah total jerk
but i've seen he did an interview with, have you seen No Gas All Brakes?
What is it?
No Breaks All Gas?
That's a Chicago thing, Nick?
All Gas No Breaks.
All Gas No Breaks.
That's a Chicago thing?
I've only heard of it through the Barstool Chicago guys.
Because I thought that was the Barstool Chicago guys mantra.
Yeah.
But then I said there's a guy who has a whole show that's called All Gas No Breaks.
Yeah, I don't know if that popped up before or after them.
Anyway, he did an interview with him.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
So there must be like some sort of – because I figured by now somebody would have got him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he must have like a – anywho, I think people are going to show up with that.
That's also – it's going to get dangerous.
That's a little – you're a white guy doing that.
It's going to get a little appropriating, I feel like yeah you can't do you know i wouldn't do the tattoo on the face or the
facial hair or whatever but i think there's gonna be a lot of attempts at that and it's gonna even
if you pull it off i think you're gonna be like oh fuck there's 10 others at the party
oh fuck i kind of zoned out
i do like if the littlest thing that doesn't usually happen happens,
it just throws off my complete mind.
You are like a puppy dog or something.
It's just like, what, what, what?
Yeah, like, oh, the door opened, so I was just out for a second.
I mean, what if you were like an athlete?
And it's like, all right, three-two count, bottom of the ninth.
Like, oh, a flashbulb went off.
Strike three. I wouldn't even wait went off. It's 3-3.
I wouldn't even wait for it.
I'll just go home.
I really do think about it all the time.
Derek Jeter used to go through my mind because he's got so many clutch hits.
And it's like, I remember when I first played Jenga.
Did we talk about Jenga on KC Radio?
No.
Team pubes?
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure it was floating around here somewhere.
So we're going to go win $10,000, me and Johnny, on Jenga. But I remember when we first played, I was actually kind of nervous. Oh, yeah, I'm going to get a hit here.
That just blows my mind.
I would be either Derek Jeter or I would be someone who like was just completely incapable of doing anything.
Well, considering that you couldn't do a podcast when the door opened, I think you'd be the other guy.
But like I would like I think I'd get in that box and just be like, whatever.
Whatever.
You're so indifferent that the nerves.
Yeah.
If I strike out and people hate me, whatever.
I think it would go.
I don't know which way it would go, but it would go.
I would be one of the extremes.
We'd either be like, I am completely useless.
Wouldn't that be so funny?
Or I'm David Ortiz.
Could you imagine that interview for like Sports Illustrated for kids?
Like, how do you do it, John?
How are you so clutch?
What's the key?
Like, like epic amounts of apathy. i know i'm gonna die one day so i do remember irvin santana on the angels was like
bro i come from the dominican where i was sleeping on a dirt floor in a hut you think that pitching
in game five of the ds was like a big deal like this is cake man this is easy i could see you
being just like yeah yeah, man.
Like, well, we all die one day.
So who cares about the fucking ninth inning?
Whatever.
All right.
Your pick.
Zoom call.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I don't know.
The inanimate object costume.
I feel like in recent years, people who became an Instagram picture or whatever.
The Zoom call.
They're going to be like, they're going to be in their underpants.
Yeah.
They'll be like,
the lower half is not done.
The upper half,
you're business ready.
Virtual.
You got a fucking...
A box around you.
Yeah.
Or some play on the word Zoom.
You know what I mean?
When people do Aretha Franklin,
and it was like,
you ever see that one?
It's $100 bills on a wreath.
I know.
Yeah, you wear a wreath,
and then you have Ben Franklin's all over it things like that yeah you're the biggest
piece of fucking right you have to explain to people right like that's
even if it's clever it's like you're fucking rock-hard and people don't get
your costume it's like I mean that you go not tell you why the details you
missed you know I don't give a shit about that. I put on a fucking pirate hat.
I just wanted to drink beer and they said I had to wear a costume.
I'm totally here against my will.
Fuck off.
I will go with
the fly.
The Mike Pence fly.
There will be somebody
where you wear a white wig with an oversized
fly type of
thing on your head and you're gonna say i'm mike pence from the debate uh it's i'm the fly and
people are gonna go oh okay great you're wearing a fucking wig with a fly i could definitely see
that being a couple's costume too where they think it's fucking great what he you're mike
pence and you're the fly yeah yeah definitely yeah i could see that there's there's the couple's costume that i'm gonna
think of that because that that's a whole other wrinkle when you got to think of the duos this
year but your pick what do you got gonna steal your fucking shine right here i hadn't even thought
of this until you just said couple costumes uh carol baskin and joe exotic yep fuck that is what
i so we we talked about doing this a couple weeks ago,
and we said, let's wait till Halloween is closer.
And I remember thinking that was the one thing that...
That was the one that...
That was the inspiration for this,
and I fucking blew it.
Really?
It was Joe Exotic, yeah.
The amount of people...
It's a little bit...
Yeah.
Joe Exotic.
We gave a...
The only reason...
Oh.
Johnny and Joe Exotic more than anything.
The only reason anyone watched that show was because Quarantine had just started.
That show fucking sucked.
That dude was not interesting.
Carol Baskin, not interesting.
All of the people in that show, uninteresting people.
That show was.
The documentary maker was a cool cat.
He was fine.
I don't remember him because everyone in that show is not worth remembering.
That guy, he did another documentary that was pretty cool.
That guy who like he was always like smoking a huge cigar and he had like that funny hat on.
But yeah, everyone else is either a bad person or just not.
Doc Antle.
Like I saw the other day, Doc Antle was indicted on charges.
Like whatever.
Wipe these people off the face of the earth.
They were all pieces of shit.
And Joe Exotic was recently being like,
I don't know, had some comment from prison.
It was TMZ.
And it was like, dude, we stopped caring about you
seven months ago.
Go back to rotting in prison until you die.
As soon as the last dance started,
nobody cared about Joe Exotic.
It was a fucking eight hour show.
Go back to rotting in prison until you die.
That's all your good.
That's all.
That's your only purpose
on earth right now
is to rot and die.
That's you, Joe Exotic.
But like Carole Baskin's on
or was on Dancer of the Stars.
And no one gave a shit?
She voted off.
But like,
people cared about,
people pretended to care about that
for five minutes.
Not that Dancer of the Stars
is, you know,
by any means like a,
the last bastion of entertainment.
But like the fact that there are some execs out there who were like, yeah, yeah, this has juice.
Like, come on, man.
Like you got announced, people were like, ah, that's stupid.
And then ten minutes later, no one gave a shit.
You know what I think would be great?
Did she ever dance on the show?
Yeah, she did.
I saw her doing like a – she was like –
Oh, great.
Love it.
Love it.
You know what I think would be...
You go back to rocking until you die too, you goddamn dumb bitch.
With your fucking...
Her husband came out just as gay, didn't he?
Did he?
I think so.
I think she's...
She came out.
So she came out.
Oh, right, right, right.
That's what happened.
God, imagine Carole Baskin eating pussy.
Or, even worse, is someone eating Carole Baskin's pussy.
Carole Baskin. A chick going down on Carole Bask someone eating Carole Baskin's pussy?
I bet Carole Baskin eats a fucking good pussy.
Really? You think?
She's watched a lot of cats slap up a lot of milk.
I bet you her pussy
is toxic. I bet you it's
rancid. We talk about that
pH balance. She's way off.
Carole Baskin only eats pussy
with a fucking tiger tail
and cat ears.
Remember that picture as we sit here?
They're so uninteresting and now we're doing a whole segment.
Remember that picture?
Definitively uninteresting. She had her
husband on a leash. Yes.
And like the collar and everything. I was like, this poor
son of a bitch. But that makes sense that he was like,
yeah, I'm just trying to, you know, fuck fuck some dicks just like trying to fuck dick and i'm
stuck with carol baskin so she doesn't murder me cal bass has probably got a fucking piece on her
you think she just got a dick she might just be a dude carol bass her name's charles carol bass on her um uh okay my pick um coronavirus yep just like the ball and the spores you know what i mean
someone's gonna someone will do it lazy they'll do like a gray shirt or something i always picture
it's like gray with red right that's like what the picture looks like. So, you know, you'll stick some like cotton balls or some
sort of red things, tissue paper, whatever it is, and you're going to be
like, I'm coronavirus. And some people are going to be offended by it too.
Some people are going to say, this killed 200,000 people. What are you like doing?
Why are you doing this? And I'll tell you what, all those people can just go ahead and catch
cancer, catch COVID and die.
Catch cancer.
Catch the cancer.
Did you see White Sox Dave, by the way?
He was diagnosed with COVID.
It's like, motherfucker, you just got coronavirus.
You're not diagnosed.
Diagnosed with COVID.
Get out of here.
White Sox Dave.
Diagnosed.
Now he's tweeting out how he lost taste and everything.
It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know.
We did this.
Bro, I've heard of coronavirus. We know all the symptoms we don't fucking care dave but yeah uh
covid covid night oh that'll be a thing too it'll be like that'll be one where people get clever
with the words covid 19 i don't know how they're gonna do it but they're gonna be like what are
you and it's like see this is co ande and I'm 19 or something like that.
You know what I mean?
It's going to be one of those little Mad Libs ones.
So all Corona related fucking kill yourself.
Get COVID.
Die.
Okay.
I got this one.
Isn't topical.
It's just it's every year.
There's going to be multiple of you at the party.
Harley Quinn.
Yeah.
Like everyone just dresses up as Margot Robbie.
That's the new age, like, hot slutty pop culture thing.
Yes.
You know?
And it's like, the movie was bad, and it flopped, right?
A movie was actually really good, but it flopped.
Flopped, okay.
I haven't seen it.
But it is funny for a flop to be, like, you know, the costume.
Like, Suicide Squad, that sucked.
Her own movie was, movie like Harley Quinn's
Bird of Prey
or whatever it was
yeah
that was good
that was
from everything I saw
it was very well reviewed
but you didn't see it
no because
the movie name
didn't make sense
it didn't
it was like
the fantabulous
emancipation
of one Harley Quinn
that was the name
yeah it was ridiculous
that movie should have
just been called
The Harley Quinn Movie
yeah exactly literally it should just be called Harley Quinn
They changed it
Because it flopped so bad
People just don't know what this movie is
After the release they changed it?
They're not allowed to do that
That's cheating
So what does that even mean?
In box office they just changed it
The sign on the movie theater just changed to Harley Quinn
It's called Birds of Prey And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn.
Oh, what?
Whomst.
Whomst decided that was the name of the movie.
That's stupid.
It's a 78% Rotten Tomatoes.
So like when you go to the movie, though, and like, is there a title screen?
And then did they change that?
No, I did see it.
I didn't think it was that great.
It was fun.
It was a lot of crazy action.
At one point, she has the giant fucking hammer.
And it's like, this doesn't make any sense, but we're just going with it.
But I think it still said the Fantabulous Emancipation, because she says it at one point.
It's not great.
What pick am I on? Is it my fourth fourth yes uh i'll go with fauci
dr fauci i don't know how you do that one but uh i mean the i don't know how you do it either i
think i think there will be a whole there's gonna be a whole political like it'll be like the my pillow guy or dr fauci or anybody who's been like a talking head
throughout coronavirus i think people will try to latch on to yeah yeah that makes sense fauci
is you know i guess you know there probably will be some people who just look like him like there's
gonna be like some little italian men who like could can pull it off and they're like i'm just
gonna dress i'm gonna put on a suit and basically become Tony Fauci.
But I think that there will be any attempts at the people of coronavirus, the people of coronavirus or the terminology of coronavirus.
You'll see a lot of those, and all of them will be like, I hate you guys.
I fucking hate you guys.
I will not be at any Halloween parties
I'm old
but like if you walked into my party
in any of those costumes
you're kicked out
turn right around
you take this too seriously
and you think
you're good at it
like almost what we did with
the social distancing game show there will be people who are like flattening the curve terminology, you know,
and they'll have, they'll have like a bend thing that's flattened and, and we'll be like,
I hate you.
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
There will be friendships lost over Halloween.
As there should be.
All will be well-deserved.
Yeah.
All of them.
Yeah.
No.
Like I've been thinking about
cutting you out of my life for quite some time now now it's happening now you're a fucking
coronavirus spore and i think i think we just we reached the end right right we got to we got to
the end of this ride i'll see you later yep all right my number three or four my number four uh
handmaid's tale i think throw the red robe over you and be like, it's happening?
Between, yes.
Between the election, between the Supreme Court, which actually...
That's my last pick.
Fuck.
You can take it.
I was going to go, well, I'll do number five.
It'll be RBG.
But it's just Amy Comey Barrett, whatever the fuck her name is.
It's going to be.
Oh, you know what?
Actually, you know what's a costume I could get down with?
Ruth Konda forever.
Oh, yeah.
Blackface for sure.
Yeah, definitely.
You got to have blackface.
I'm going to go as Ruth Konda forever. I will dress up as an old black woman.
Yes, I will have the bun.
I'll have the glasses.
I will be in blackface.
I will be wearing a Supreme Court justice robe, but I will have the sleeves of Black Panther.
And I will, in one hand, have a gavel, and in the other hand, have like those – I think they have like spears or shields.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I will go, Ruth Kanda forever!
And that will be the hit of the party.
That's a great costume.
That will be the hit of the party. That a great costume that will be the hit of the party
and you know you gotta be on twitter
and you gotta know what we're talking about
but um
Wakanda forever
I might dress up for Halloween this year
now just to do that
that's a great costume
with the gavel and the shield
if you guys can do me a favor as producers
and make that happen I will then wear it
I don't want to go around buying the things or making the things but if you guys can do me a favor as producers and make that happen i will then wear it i don't want to go around buying the things or making the things but if you guys can find me
ruth conda forever stuff i will wear it i will wear it i also think if there's a way to make a
costume of like my six-year-old son who was crying over the election my my three-month-old who who died over you know um my last my fifth
pick um um i'm gonna go well all right i have a i have a fun one and a bad one okay let's go bad
one there's gonna be people who are like i'm george floyd for halloween like there's gonna be
problematic pictures of like
something where you you know like you know Michael Scott
had like the head on his shoulder there's gonna be someone
who puts like a leg on their neck
there's gonna be somebody who does
I forgot how dumb people are
there's gonna be like police brutality
costumes
that rednecks are gonna get
pictured on Halloween on Facebook
and they're gonna to lose their jobs
because they always fucking do.
They're all going to be professors at Liberty University.
Every teacher at Liberty University is going to get fired.
Gun Girl is a good one.
Gun Girl is a good costume.
I'm sure there will be a bunch of those
with people pooping their pants walking around with an AK-47.
But there will be a bunch of those with people pooping their pants walking around with an ak-47 but there will be how highly inappropriate from like george floyd to any
of the other police brutality cases to protests like the protester the rioter there will be
something like that like blackface with like you know or that agent provocateur guy with the
fucking umbrella remember that guy who wore all black? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like those things.
So all sorts of inappropriate,
you know,
everything from the past,
you know, six months or whatever.
My fun one was going to be
Chris Evans
with his like a dick out.
Like if you wear a pair of shorts
and have like a dildo
sticking out the bottom
of your shorts
and you're like,
that's another good one.
Yeah, I can get that one out.
That one, I think that is...
I'm just that guy with a huge cock. Yeah, that's one like you got to know the joke. Otherwise, that's another good one. Yeah, I can get that one out. That one, I think that is. I'm just that guy with a huge cock.
Yeah, that's one like you got to know the joke.
Otherwise, it's just it reminds me of that awkward moment when he does rock out with your cock out to the costume party.
The dress up party.
Everyone else is just in cocktail dresses.
He's got his dick hanging out.
That's one of the more unrealistic scenes in that movie where he just gets along with the parents after that.
Yeah, I don't think that would happen.
And leaves it on the whole time? The whole time.
Doesn't just say like, because then guess what?
You're just a guy in a bandana and it's okay.
But instead you just have your dick flopping
in the mom's martini. Doesn't his dick
tip fall in the martini at one point?
He's going to shake her hand or something like that.
He walks in and he's like, oh, everyone's not in costume.
Immediately walk out,
throw the dildo out the window.
Take off the, you know, just put your jacket on.
Then you're a normal dude again.
Then you're just Zac Efron.
The only thing more unrealistic in that movie is when he doesn't go to the
funeral.
I mean,
it's like,
I know what they were trying to do,
but they could have been a little less heavy handed with it.
Every guy in the world goes to the fucking.
Yes.
Even if you dated her for a day,
you just go to the funeral,
you asshole.
Come on.
But yeah.
So how about you want to be Chris Evans and I'll
be Ruth Konda forever? Sure.
Or like, that's, you know, we're not actually gonna do it.
But like, that's
what we would do.
We get credit for the costumes. If you want to Photoshop me
into the costumes, I will. Yes, those are the ones.
That's what I want. Photoshop me
into these costumes. That's the new
dressing up for Halloween.
Photoshop me and post it on social media.
I was it for Halloween.
What were you for Halloween? I was Ruth Kahn of Forever.
It means I have a picture of it on Instagram.
Treat me like
any free agent basketball player
in a Knicks jersey.
Anytime there's a free agent
in basketball, it's like, here's what you look like
in a Knicks jersey. Do that for my Halloween costume.
I think there's a job at Bleacher or ESPN that they just sit there all day
being like,
what's on the docket today.
There's 30 more guys to put into a Knicks uniform.
Just in case,
just in case.
Last pick for you.
Uh,
it was RPG.
I stole it.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
Okay.
All right.
Uh,
so that's it.
Top fives rest.
Nick,
you got a pick?
Uh,
no. Oh no. Cake us. Nick, you got a pick? Oh, no, cake.
When everybody, everything turned out to be cake.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was weird.
Someone's got cake.
Oh, I got one, too.
Wop.
There's going to be a time.
And I'm cool with that one.
There's just going to be, well, you know what?
There's going to be two things.
There's going to be hot chicks who just dress up like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion in
like those, like they have the dresses on and the wigs.
And then there's going to be actual like wet ass pussy.
Like I could see people like there's going to be girls walking around with a bucket and
a mop, you know?
Oh, yeah.
There's going to be girls walking around with a pot of macaroni.
All the things that they use to describe wet ass pussy, which I can get down with.
Yeah, I'm into all that.
So those are like the good costumes.
That just got me horny.
So I like it.
Like if a hot chick is rolling around one of those janitor yellow buckets
with the mop and she's hot and she's wearing like a skirt and she's just
like, I got wet ass pussy.
Do you remember?
I don't know if you, I don't know if most people know this back in like
the good old days.
I want to say like,, 10, 11, there was a girl at Arizona State who was just naked for Halloween.
Do you remember this?
No.
It was so fucking funny.
She was so hot.
And she just wore high heels. And she had a purse on and her hair done.
And she was just naked, like pussy out.
And the Snapchat or whatever it was just said, like, this chick just showed up to the party she's naked for halloween and she just was like yeah
like pussy out like clit right there really she was so i can't i can't i i searched for it the
other day and i don't even remember uh like where it originally was and i the other thing too is i'm
pretty sure it was arizona state but if it's not then that kind of ruins my whole fucking search you know what i mean um how did you not be able
to find this it did it pop right up it's right up maybe i didn't search for it i i it's all like
i can't i can't find the uh here it is is it red it's red it's probably oh yeah this is the one
this is yeah that's the girl that's the girl i remember one. She was just all the pictures were like girls of her.
Like she was in the background.
It was never just a picture of her.
Yeah, I definitely didn't search for this.
I remember thinking like, oh, I won't be able to find this.
But I mean, how fucking boss of a move is that?
You know, that to me is like that's the ultimate hot chick move.
She was just like, I gonna go naked fuck you bitches
I found the non-blurred ass pic
what up
I found
I found her pussy so I win
we all win though
we all win
vaginas are weird man
it's just so flat
I was gonna say that
like when they
when they stand up
it's just like
it's just like
kind of like a
it's just so
there's just nothing there
it just ends
it's just like a flat
fucking pussy
well you almost hope
because
you know anything that
gets a little too lippy
you don't want it to be, you don't want it to be
bumpy there.
But it really does, especially when it's a girl like that.
She's got an exceptionally flat vagina.
Yeah, that is what they call the keyhole or whatever, where it's just like, that's not
even a keyhole.
That's just a rectangle.
That's just like a square peg missing.
Yeah, it looks like she's a Lego who's missing a piece.
I'll be honest.
This girl is like decidedly not my type at all but so hot but you
know what i mean why is she not your type just like she's a tall skinny blonde like i don't like
you're like fucking hot women kevin like i don't know that's not that hot that's not that i mean
she's hot but you know what i mean like to me that's like she's like very flat kind, she's hot. She's hot. But you know what I mean? Like, to me, that's like, she's like very flat.
She's like a rectangle.
Yeah.
You know, she's a perfect rectangle.
There's no curves there or anything.
But like, I'll take that flat pussy.
I will hit that flat pussy.
That is crazy.
But I mean, what a move, though.
Like, you think that you're like, I'm the sexy nurse.
I'm the sexy this.
I'm the sexy that.
And she comes in.
She's like, here's my plot.
Yeah. I'm the sexy human. I'm the sexy this. I'm the sexy that. And she comes in. She's like, here's my twat. I'm the sexy human.
I'm the sexy girl.
I like the word twat.
What would you do in bed if a girl was like, fuck my twat?
Fuck her twat, Kevin.
See, to me, that's like, I don't like the word twat.
I just came around on the C word.
Oh, a cunt?
Yeah.
I like cunt as long as you say the T hard. Yeah, you always do the fucking cunt it's like it's like the word it almost like it's like it's like the
opposite of a hard r yeah it like it it softens it to me it's almost like the word is like c-u-n-t
u-h yeah i don't really i don't call women cunts but I call men cunts
if you call a woman a cunt
you better
right
he's a fucking cunt
see the T
that one was just natural
the T softens it
the T makes it okay
it's a reverse R&R
by the way I mean
see
you know what I think it is too
I started hanging out
with Irish guys
cunt
you fucking
god fucking what's up you cunt yeah so just You know what I think it is, too? I started hanging out with Irish guys. Cunt-a. You fucking, God, fucking.
What's up, you cunt?
So it just, it normalized it for me.
This is, by the way, just to further my point here, like, that's not my type, man.
Look at that.
Like, those, like, dangly titties and that flat butt as she bends over.
I'd fuck that flat ass, Kevin.
I'd fuck those dangly titties.
I'd fuck that girl.
I mean, yes, I would fuck that girl.
But I can't, like, if your butt bone is banging into me, I don't like that one bit, sir.
I would probably tell you to get back to your back.
I've had it before to the point where it's like, like, genuinely it was painful.
It hurts.
Yeah.
Don't get me wrong.
I pressed through.
Clearly. But, like, when they say cushion for the push-in, it's like, yeah, it was painful. It hurts. And I was like, don't get me wrong, I pressed through. Clearly.
But, like, when they say cushion for the pushing, it's like, yeah, you do need to be.
I'm literally getting stabbed right now with a fucking spine.
With a spine?
Isn't that all connected to the spine?
This thing right here?
Oh, I would call that, like, your butt.
Well, it's your tailbone, but it's connected to your spine.
But I'm thinking.
Like, it's the end of your spine, isn't it?
Are you saying that the, you're saying the middle of her butt was hitting you?
Oh.
I'm thinking of like her butt cheekbones.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hitting like my – kind of like my hip flexors, if you will.
No, it was –
You're talking about her – yeah, her spine.
Her spine was getting right here.
Almost like if she had a tail.
Yeah.
Oh.
Like in shallow hell, that guy's tail.
I'm actually not even referring to one person.
I've fucked a lot of women who that's happened to me.
Well, that's just probably skinny white women, right?
There's going to be a lot of those.
Where, I mean, you know,
the supermodel type
is like, I don't think I want to have sex with that.
It hurts.
Genuinely painful.
Give me a short girl with a fat butt
over a tall, model-y type
all day, every day.
But the Arizona State chick, you know.
I'll still fuck any of you. Definitely.
All of your bones. Without
hesitation. Yeah. And I will
like it. And you will not.
Voicemails,
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Voicemails, what up?
Hey, KFC and Vice.
I am honestly looking for your point of view on this.
I'm 27 and I just don't think I need to use the word boyfriend anymore.
I don't know.
It makes me sound like a 12 year old.
But this kid I've been seeing, however, never asked me officially to like be his girlfriend,
just kind of like started throwing it around one day.
And then when I felt uncomfortable saying it, I was just like, I also don't really like
the word.
I feel the 12.
And then like some days he jokes like it bothers him and then some days it doesn't.
And then his one friend called me an asshole because I was at the bar and I was telling people I didn't have a boyfriend.
But that's not exactly what happened.
But he made it seem that way.
I just said like, no, I just have somebody that I spend most of my time with.
I just don't know why I have to call somebody my boyfriend.
So my question is, because I know John calls
his girlfriend on the podcast his girlfriend a lot,
but like, is this term
like too young? Like, I don't know. Can we stop
using it? Is that not okay?
I don't know. Let me know.
How fucking long-winded and complicated
this description was? I just have
some person that I spend time with
and hang out with that I enjoy
to be company with that most people would call boyfriends, but I don't call boyfriends because I think that is a sophomoric term.
Is that easier than saying my boyfriend?
It sounds like Mitch Hedberg.
Mitch Hedberg's got a joke where he's like, I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a woman who would be pissed to hear me say that.
Yes.
The just fucking. Yes. Just fucking – It sounds like Michael Scott when he's doing the abbreviations and he's abbreviating things.
Or like longer with the abbreviations.
And everyone's like, what does that fucking mean?
Yeah, yeah.
And then he has to explain it.
Like, do you think it was faster to say it that way?
It is – I know I do agree with her that it is a younger term.
It has a feel to it.
It's my boyfriend.
But I've always said that once you have gray hair, you don't have boyfriends and girlfriends.
I think you're fine until then.
Yeah.
We've talked about this before.
Like my great uncle, he was like 85 and he had a girlfriend.
Right.
Both of them were widows and widowers and they would just like hang out together.
I don't think they would have sex or anything.
They just spent time together and people were like, that's his girlfriend Ethel.
And I was like, this is ridiculous.
He's 90.
He's fucking 90. If your name's Ethel. And I was like, this is ridiculous. He's 90. He's fucking 90.
Yeah, if your name's Ethel, you don't have a boyfriend.
Yeah.
But I see where she's coming from if you want to talk about, like,
the goddamn etymology of the word.
But what else, you know, that's so, it's just like you're complicating things
because when someone says you have a boyfriend, if you say no,
that signals, you know, like, all right, then you're a fair fair game then i'm going to start hitting on you then i want to try
to be your boyfriend and then you have to describe you have to explain no no wait i do i just don't
like the term like i can understand if you say you don't like the word fiance a lot of people
don't like that so you just say like i'm engaged to this person or you know that's my future wife
or whatever because you know fiance it's like this weird French fancy term. I can get that
but
that's like an extra. It's like you still have a
boyfriend or a girlfriend.
If you're in a relationship,
you have to just use the term everyone agrees upon.
Be normal.
It's just you don't like it. You're the one
person.
You make things very complicated for
everybody. Yes, I have a You make it very complicated for everybody.
Yes, I have a boyfriend.
Yeah, just say yes.
Locked in.
Right.
Easy.
And you can even say, you know, I don't know.
I don't like the term, but yes.
Yeah.
Fucking moron.
Girls are dumb.
Next up.
What's up, Fights KFC?
Got a quick question for you.
So I was watching Avatar here pretty day,
and I thought it was really cool with the technology, what they were doing.
You know, that guy was able to get his legs back or whatever.
So I was wondering what you guys would pick if you were to pick some technology
from like a movie or from like a TV show like Black Mirror and that video game shit,
what would you choose and why?
Can I tell you something?
I've never seen Avatar.
Me either.
Okay, good.
Tried to watch it thrice, fell asleep every time.
I don't think I've ever watched it,
even tried to watch it,
because I feel like people say how bad it is
and how long it is and shit.
But usually I would like that kind of stuff.
I think it's pretty well-reviewed.
I think it's a good movie.
Nick?
Yeah, I like that one.
I feel like a lot of people,
I think I would say it's polarizing then, because I feel like
I've heard people who don't like it.
I think people are annoyed by James Cameron.
Yeah, I mean, that's it.
The actual movie.
I don't like the way they look.
That turns me on.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't want to watch this blue monster movie.
Not monster, but like creature, you know?
Like, what's his thing where he's like, oh, I had this idea in like the 70s, like a way
for technology to catch up?
Right.
Like, technology doesn't look that great, dude.
It's a fucking cartoon.
It looks very, you know, not, like, it looks goofy.
Yeah.
I agree with you on that, for sure.
But I guess something happened.
What happened, Nick?
This guy, like, gets his legs back or something?
Yeah, I mean, he's just able to walk through, like, the surrogate avatar body.
Got it.
So he gets to experience walking again.
Did you see that there's that video of the guy the pianist who his hands are like broken because of the
what's the thing you have arthritis and so he puts these gloves on and it lets him play again
uh he starts like crying i think so yes i'm like bro i know you like playing piano but if i get
use of my hands back there's something else i'm doing that's bringing a tear to my eye
do you imagine you're like 90 and you can't jerk off anymore and then all of a sudden
these magical gloves let you crack stick again oh what a moment that would be that i need one of
those feel good movies feel good uh viral videos where like there's a tear to his eye and he's just
like uh i think i'd go with uh face off you if you want you want a new off. You want a new face?
I'd just get a new face.
If it was up to me, I would not wear this face.
If I could change faces like I change sneakers, I would change.
I'd have a different option.
Wouldn't that be cool if every year you upgrade?
There's the Jordan 2, the Jordan 3, the Jordan 4.
There's the Feidelberg 1, final berg 2 the final berg 3
um yeah i'd but i'd be like the jordan 19 which is like this one sucks yeah like imagine if you
got to like a like a classic one you're like i'm just sticking with this one yeah i'm sticking
with the 11 like i'm good the model this model is good to go um so like a technology that i would benefit from i mean i could for sure go with like
a krang from uh ninja turtles like this body stinks i got a lemon of a body this is just
defective if i could put my brain into like a little robot and i could just have like an android
with this brain yeah that. Definitely. Definitely.
This thing stinks.
Whose body would you choose?
In the whole world?
Yeah.
Matt Bombers.
Yeah?
Yeah.
We'll talk to him on the podcast today.
I guess his face is more beautiful than anything,
but his body is on point.
Yeah, he's a little bit.
I guess, I mean, if you have to pick the body for men,
it's Tyler Durden in Fight Club. I mean, that's the one. He's so little. He's a little. I guess, I mean, if you have to pick the body for men, it's Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
I mean, that's the one.
He's so little.
He's so shredded.
But he's so little.
Is he?
I don't know.
Brad Pitt's little?
I'm going to guess like 5'7", 5'8".
No, I think Brad Pitt's normal size.
Oh, I think you're right, actually.
I think he is 6' tall.
Because I think he's perfect.
I'm pretty sure he's perfect.
So I would, yeah, give me my brain.
I mean, well, i would love a different
brain too if i could just be a different person yeah i was gonna say you're really holding on to
that brain no 511 yeah i mean that's for as far as hollywood goes that's huge if i could you know
get you know uh somebody else's brain and body if i could just kill myself and come back as someone
else that would be great but i'm assuming i gotta stick with my body and my personality and shit
give me that put me in tyler durden's body like Krang and Ninja Turtles.
Hey, guys, quick hypothetical for you.
I'm very undecided.
We were talking about it.
Would you rather every time you had to charge your phone, it would be shut off?
Or with this COVID pandemic,
we go back to normal,
but every two minutes,
you have to cough.
And that's everyone in the world.
Everyone in the world,
every two minutes, they're coughing.
No masks, they're nothing.
We go back to normal,
but every two minutes, you're coughing.
I mean, you charge your phone at night.
Yeah, your phone has to be off.
That's what I don't get.
I hate all the fucking charging mats,
and I hate how those are becoming a big thing because when my phone's plugged in,
I can still fucking use my phone while it charges.
I know.
I understand the appeal of if I can just come in
and just throw my phone down and it charges,
but then as soon as you want to talk and text while charging,
you can't.
It stops charging.
Yeah.
By the way, I figured out the the iphone jack
is the same it just doesn't plug into the usb block anymore the other end is not a usb the other
end is something else so you can still plug the yeah so they they did change the the charger they
just changed usually usually they change what plugs into the phone now they change what plugged
into the block they're such motherfuckers they they change that for into the phone. Now they change what plugged into the block. They're such motherfuckers.
They change that for 11.
I actually have it, and it's actually awesome.
Like, my phone charges in 30 minutes.
Well, so that's the thing.
Like, maybe the charger is better, but it is different, so you're going to have to go for it.
Motherfuckers.
So that would be my answer.
What was the other half of it?
Cough every two minutes.
Is it one cough?
Because a coughing fit, I can't do. I'm not going to say a fit, but for the sake of is it one cough is it just like because a coughing fit i
can't do i'm not gonna say a fit but i for the sake of the hypothetical i think it goes like this
like three three coughs one two one every two minutes that's a lot that's that's too much i
wouldn't do that that's uh if that's the other side of a hypothetical i'm a lot of times i'm
gonna take the other thing every two minutes is so i mean i mean we couldn't do the job right i
mean we'd have to know those cough buttons on like minutes is so often. I mean, we couldn't do the job. Right. I mean, we'd have to have those cough buttons on the old school radio.
But let's say we couldn't do that.
You could not have a speaking job.
You couldn't give a speech.
You couldn't give a presentation.
You're on a date.
You're having sex every two minutes.
It's also, and more annoying than my cough, would be everyone else's.
Yeah.
Because everyone on the planet.
So at all times, you'll be hearing a cough.
Someone's coughing.
Because it's there two minutes. Yeah. So it's just constant cough. Forever, all'll be hearing a cough. Someone's coughing. Because it's there two minutes.
Yeah.
So it's just constant cough.
Forever, all you hear is a cough.
It's actually, if you're ever in church and you realize there's always someone making a noise,
it becomes infuriating and ruins the homily.
It's like when you're listening to watch basketball and you just zero in on the sneakers and the ball.
Yeah.
You can't enjoy anything else.
I would go crazy within three days of this happening. watch basketball and you just zero in on the sneakers and the ball. Yeah. Yeah. You can't enjoy anything else. And it's like,
so that's all I would go crazy within three days of this happening.
Yeah.
Yeah. You got to just do that.
You got to deal with whatever you want with the charger.
Yeah.
You know?
All right.
Last voicemail.
Let's do it.
KFC fights,
BC,
Nick,
Jackie,
quick,
quick.
Would you rather,
would you rather meet your female equivalent or male in looks or in personality?
Viva.
Thereby implying like we're together or just like meet the person?
I think you're together.
Yeah, right.
Like, you know, you're going to fall for them.
I mean, I'm all personality, right?
Yeah, my equivalent equivalent personality because my equivalent
looks i guess what i punch above my weight class there yeah i don't need fucking help
i mean i've seen some of the doppelgangers of like the female philoburgs it's not great
i i i i'm and this is not to say i am i just moments ago said that if I could have one superpower from any movie ever,
it's I would get rid of my face.
So you think I want to meet a fucking chubby fucking girl who has a big fucking nose,
looks like she's swollen at all times?
I look like a person who drowned last week. That is...
It looks like I just pulled Feidelberg out of a river
and propped him up here to do a podcast.
Someone said, like,
oh my god, fights always look like he's on a bender.
And maybe...
It's a bender called life.
But, like, it's just my life, man.
There are plenty of fucking times
where I just, like,
I had a good 12 hours.
Like, 12 hours, 12 hours not 9 12
i was in bed last night at 12 30 like it was fucking i had a great night's sleep and i'm like
guess what i looked in the mirror i was like boy you look terrible you ever see like the original
x-men where the guy he's a human and he gets like some of the mutant stuff put in him and he
eventually just like swells up and then just pops into jelly. You know what I'm talking about, Nick?
Yeah, you've seen it. That's a final break.
I'm a human version of a pimple.
That is
why would I want to
fuck that? Why would I want to fuck me? Are you
fucking kidding me with that stupid ass question?
The question's crazy.
I'd like to meet a fucking hilarious person
who makes me laugh all day.
This is the guy I'm talking about.
He eventually just explodes into a jelly and becomes water.
Can you play the video just so he sees exactly what I'm talking about?
The guy just eventually, look at this.
He eventually just turns into goo.
That's great.
That's me.
Look at that.
He just pops into gelatin.
Yo, before he started turning blue, that just looked a That's me. That's just... Look at that. He just pops in the gelatin. That's...
Yo, before he started turning blue, that just looked a lot like me.
By the way, who...
I said, by the way, 60 times this episode.
Who, what...
You have to be a pretty boy to answer looks.
Unless you're Timothee Chalamet, who's saying looks.
Oh, I'd like to be the woman who fucking is my equivalent.
I'm like, fuck.
Unless you're Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, Timothee Chalamet.
I mean, who is answering looks?
Every guy fucking fucks people hotter than his equivalent.
Yeah, because of their personality.
Because you have a personality, because of.
Can you imagine?
How stupid are girls that they're like, that joke's funny.
You can come inside me every
girl what every woman listening to this podcast you should have been born a lesbian yeah because
it fucking sucks having to fuck me that's terrible or anybody like me you know not just me anybody
like me having a fuck fuck this fucking mess this mound of human just a just a lump of a human
you have to be careful fucking me because if your earring punctures me the wrong way, I might explode.
I might deflate.
God, stupid fucking question.
Made me feel bad about myself.
All right.
Interviews time.
We got two great ones here.
Chris Bosh is one of the great conversationalists of our
time he's unbelievable yeah he's a great combo and he he tells it like it is told us some great
like behind the scenes lebron stuff about like what he's been texting with him after this
championship what they used to talk about during the the heat days with the not five not six not
seven all that stuff uh so a great interview with Bosch. It's brought to you by Thursday Boots,
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Thursday Boots presents Chris Bosch. What's up, bud? How you covered. And use the survey afterwards to let them know that we sent you there. Thursday Boots presents
Chris Bosh.
What's up, bud? How you guys doing, man?
Good, bro. How about you?
Oh, man. You know,
shoot, if I complain, who give a damn, right?
I'll tell you what, no one gives a shit if I complain
and I complain all the time.
All right, there you go. It's good to know.
I make sure I keep mine to a minimum.
You know what I'm saying?
All right, we always go through everybody's background
now that we're doing things from home with Zoom.
I see some nice family pictures.
What's that plaque back there?
What's that Georgia Tech plaque?
Is that like players of the year?
So, yeah, that's the,
I was inducted to the Hall of Fame a couple of years ago.
So, yeah, that's like my young picture.
That's like little 18 year old CB about to go through the gambit.
Yeah, man.
How many of these books have you read?
Yeah.
What's up with these real books?
These are just for the show.
Yeah, those are real books.
Let me see.
One, two, three, four for sure.
Yeah, half of them. You can lie. I i'm not gonna ask you for a fucking book report you can get all of them dude well one of them like that one is like
it's pretty much like a dictionary like music on music business and then the other ones on music
publishing and then i just like walter isaacson so he always writes some crazy stuff so you're
getting into that's what we're here to talk about today you get into the music game so you uh you're trying to read up on
it and learn or is it something that you've always uh you've always known and always been into or
are you trying to uh you gotta teach yourself the basics you you do have to teach yourself the
basics there is a mode of that and then i guess like once you get advanced or whatever it's kind
of it kind of turns into this thing where, you know,
I'm a grownup now, unfortunately. And, um, you gotta know a law.
You gotta know taxes. You gotta know all those boring things.
You're also rich. What are you doing, dude? You're rich.
You don't have to do that stuff. You pay people to do that for you.
You sit on the beach, bro. Yeah, I know. I'm for sure. I hear you.
But then, you know you but then you know
then you know some professionals do when you don't watch them oh chris we brought these and
you don't know what it is it's like okay no no i can't do that you know that's why i mean i had
to grow up i was you know i was a kid playing basketball i know that's so it's so weird i'm
always so fascinated with the idea that like you know you know, you hit, like, let's say 34, and people are like, oh, I love it.
Yeah, all right.
We're not kids.
That's the guy.
My man.
See, you're not a grown-up yet.
You're still a kid.
Not all the way just yet.
What are you sipping on right there?
Some beer.
We got some St. Arnold Art Car IPA.
We're going to grab a couple beers.
We're Miller Lite guys over here. We're going to grab a couple beers. We're Miller Lite guys over here.
We're going to crack a couple with you.
We can't let you drink alone, man, which I do love that you were doing without us, though.
Cheers to Chris Bosh.
Cheers, Bosh.
Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
But I am always fascinated with the transition out of sports because you hit like 34 and
people are like, this dude is so old.
Get him out of here. You know, he's washed up.
And I start to think of that like like even LeBron.
I'm like, you know, and he's still going.
But I'm like, oh, my God, the old man still doing it.
He's in his 30s. You know, it's crazy.
For sure, man. For sure. It's kind of an interesting thing.
You know, I never got to be the old, old guy. I was getting older. I stopped playing when I was 32,
but you kind of, you can kind of see the end,
but then like the language changes. It's like, yeah, you look young out there.
Why do I have to look young? I've been playing the same game for,
for, for more than a decade at that level. But you know, it is what it is.
I mean, people have that
narrative and then you go from that being the og in the locker room to you'll go to something else
in real life and it's like oh hey young man yeah right oh well what do you know when i was in my
30s it's like they talk about that like i'm a patriots fan i'm from boston and like yeah they're
like julian edelman he's like he's a great veteran presence in the locker room.
I'm like, Edelman is my age, and I'm an asshole.
What could he possibly be like?
You can obviously teach the younger guys the ways of the world,
but I don't know much about the world.
You could teach your world.
You could teach sports and all that.
But who's to say you know he doesn't
know much yet about marriage and love and kids and business and you know there's a million things
that you still have to learn throughout your 30s 40s 50s 60s 70s 80s 90s absolutely and that's the
like the thing a lot of people uh for some reason maybe it's only in america um they think that money and ability,
but money in particular,
like if you get a million dollars,
you're supposed to be educated.
You're supposed to know these certain things.
And it's, you know, I've been in moments where I'm like, no, I'm a kid.
I just came from where I came from
and we didn't eat vegetables.
Am I supposed to eat vegetables all of a sudden?
Because, you know, I got a contract?
Or because you see a person being mature on the court
and watching them in their element, naturally you'll think,
oh, well, he must have or she must have everything together,
and nobody does in this world.
So that's always kind of a fascinating thing to kind of come to grips with
and learn and understand as you you
know you get older right i mean especially as you guys you know i'm looking back at that plaque uh
you were so young and that whole draft class man i mean everybody oh yeah you still had kids coming
out of high school you were only a freshman like that and which by the way how sick is it to be a
part of a draft class that arguably probably is like just the greatest of all time those names are fucking
crazy it's crazy man um you know we all came up like at the same time i mean you know it happens
all the time but yeah me and mello played on the usa basketball team uh in 2002 in venezuela for
the championship of america's yeah d darren williams was on that team too. Andrea Godala was on that team too. We're all
18 and we haven't even gone to college yet. You know, Bron, we were, you know, going at it. I
think our team played his team like two or three times during the summer going into my senior year.
And, you know, you come up with all these different guys and, you know, now we're to that
stage where unfortunately i'm not playing
anymore but watching them continue to play watching mellow continue to play is just it's just an
amazing thing is that tough i mean obviously you you got got cut short for you because of health
uh where do you think you would how do you think it would have gone for you the last few years you
think you would have uh moved on you think you'd be in a different a couple different franchises you think you would have paired back
up with lebron any would you if you could have scripted uh how it would have gone in a dream
scenario what would have what would have gone down well i would definitely would have finished
my contract with the heat um and you know i talked with pat um riley about it man we had a pretty
good team my last year and we felt that we could have
competed for a championship. I think we were a second or third in the East. We were duking it
out with Toronto for that two seed. We were clicking. We had a year with Goran, had a whole
year with Luol. Hassan was amazing and nobody really knew about him. We felt that we were putting together a championship contending team and we were right there.
But, you know, that's where it all came to an end.
I would have liked to have thought that we'd compete, hopefully, you know, Eastern Conference finals.
Then I was cool with the result after that. We could go for it.
And then, you know, I was very aware that I was going to be 35 coming out of a contract.
And, you know, I was thinking, OK, how can I compete, you know, to reach the mountaintop again?
Once you once you feel it one time, I mean, that's all it is.
You know, that's all that exists. So if you have a chance to be on a good enough team to compete for it, man, by all means, go and compete for it. But in my mind, I definitely would have liked to have thought
I would have got one more contract,
hopefully with a championship contender.
Would have been a nice veteran presence in there.
Yeah, the old man.
I know my worth.
You know what I mean?
I would have been the old man.
Here comes Chris Bosh off the bench.
Do you have like an old man or an og or a veteran presence
helping you uh in the music game i i don't want to call them old i do have uh i do have
presences they're my peers uh great friends uh singer songwriter and producer rico love
um out of miami he's he's been a tremendous influence in helping me. Um,
How's your, did your time in Miami affect the music game?
I feel like that's a good spot to, to have.
Oh no, absolutely. And I still go back and forth every now and then I'm in
Miami. Um, but yeah.
And even Toronto too, man. I mean, both, both towns you were in have,
you know, music.
Yeah. Not so much Toronto. I was trying actually to learn how to play, you know, the piano in Toronto.
And I gave up after like a month. Well, you got out of there before Drake in the weekend, right?
No, Drake was gone. I got out of there before the weekend when my first year in Miami.
I distinctly remember my friends from Toronto coming over and it was my birthday and they were playing the house of balloons like over and over and over and I don't know who you know look okay Drake made it guys
somebody else you guys are reaching and you know Drake Drake was around um when uh when we were
kids Drake I'll give Drake the credit like great credit there where he still feels like a young guy
to me yeah like he still feels like a young guy to me.
Yeah.
Like he still feels, and maybe that's because of like his fans or, and I'm a fan too.
He's a couple years younger than me.
Yeah, he's a couple years younger than me.
And I think, yeah, he was just grinding.
I mean, you know, everybody in Toronto at the time was familiar with each other.
But somebody from like a Canadian artist actually ascending in that hip hop genre
or whatever, like actually ascending to the top. It just was, it wasn't,
it was unrealistic. And then, I mean, you know,
he dropped his mixtape and it just kept growing slowly but surely.
And, you know, it's crazy just to even think about those days.
I mean, everybody, we were just hanging out, everybody concentrating on doing their own thing. And then, you know, it's crazy just to even think about those days. I mean, everybody, we were just hanging out,
everybody concentrating on doing their own thing.
And then, you know, everything just kind of blows up for, you know,
a select amount of people.
And just kind of to watch it happen like that is crazy to think about.
And so that's what we're hoping for in this second act, right?
I mean, you're on to the music game.
What are we, are we running a label? Are we producing? What, what, what would you say your,
your role here is? What's your goal? I'm doing both right now. Um, we just created a label,
uh, Daddy Jack Records. Um, I have been producing, it's crazy to think about it,
but for four and a half, five years now, and that's when I first started picking things up
and first started learning. Um, yeah, I first started picking things up and first started
learning. Yeah, I decided to create a label and really just go for it. I mean, I love music.
I love the music business. I love the opportunities that it provides. And to be quite frank with you,
it was just something that naturally spoke to me. I'm trying to, the first bout with Blood Clots,
I'm trying to figure out, well, what the hell am I going to do? I've never had to answer that question.
What are you going to do outside of basketball? Never, you know? And then next thing I know,
I'm strumming a guitar, trying to play it and trying to pick it up. And then I'm in front of
the computer trying to program beats. And then I'm asking people for advice. And then I'm in the
studio and now we're writing a song, you know, yeah it was a nice uh nice uh gradual process now did you
did you help write uh because with Desi Brown's song I Want It All yeah we it's a collect it's
always a collective effort you know I never I know it kind of gets a little fuzzy with who wrote it
who produced it yeah we're just if we're all in the room together, it's a collaborative effort.
You know, Deezy and I, we've been working on some great chemistry.
We've been working together for two years now.
And so, you know, every day is a challenge.
But, you know, I mean, there's so many other facets to it, like, you know, paperwork, lawyers, artwork.
Yo, you got to hire people to do that.
I'm telling you, man.
Oh, I'm not doing no no i
know but like even the earlier stage like like like hire someone to get the mail and be like yo
you just do whatever it is for sure for sure you know and that's been great you know we have we do
have uh you know i don't want to make it seem like i'm trying to do everything. We do have a great team and we're building it
constantly. But yeah, I kind of supervise over everything, but eventually, hopefully,
my passion is in producing. So keeping an eye on the record label, making sure the business is good,
you know, people will do their job there. I keep an eye on it, but I think my strength
is the
creative aspect and really putting ideas together what's the goal i've always wanted this like when
you set out to start a label or or produce whatever you're trying to win grammys you're
trying to sell records i mean obviously you'd love to do all of it but is it is it money first
and foremost is it the art is it the the awards it's the art yeah it's the art first and foremost is it the art is it the the awards it's the art yeah it's the art first and
foremost but then i watched brian get another trophy so i'm like damn i text him too like yo
i'm i'm getting back in there i gotta get another trophy man yeah right you want that hardware
second one since i was done playing you know dude he is yeah and i have great friends that
have won grammys too and and i remember and I remember, um, being, um, um, particular
friends breaking for sessions and then they're just being so mentally drained and exhausted.
But then six months later, I'm seeing them on the Grammy stage accepting their award,
you know? So, um, that, and, you know, with Kobe, Kobe was a great friend of mine. Um, and he was telling me one day how he was going
to win an Oscar. You know, we're both retired. We're having dinner and he's like, yeah,
yeah, this has happened. This has happened. I'm doing this dear basketball thing.
I went to Oscar and you know, I went back home and like, yeah, everybody had Kobe.
I was Kobe. I don't know, man. I think he finally lost it.
Don't you know? You got those friends with those big dreams. You're like,
dude, you're a nutcase, man. I want to support you. I'm going to be there for you, but also maybe set the bar a little lower, man. It's so fun. For sure. Everybody's got their story.
But then he's like this. And I was just like, damn. Okay. Never okay never ever but he had a plan he had the system intact he
knew what he was doing so that has been um hugely inspiring for me that was inspiring for me before
uh what happened happened but his spirit you know is still there you know i have conversations with
him every day and he's pushing me every day that everybody who has that story
when they when you tell it in the moment it's like you know john said he's gonna win an award
and then when he does win it you're a part of the documentary and you go like we all knew we all knew
like we added in him you know i'm not that guy i'm gonna tell you straight up i'm like yeah no
you know even even the drake, right? Nobody thought Drake.
If anybody from Toronto says, oh, yeah, Drake, we knew.
Unless you were in that camp in the studio with him,
there was no way you knew that it was going to go to the level it did.
Those guys were putting in the work.
They had their plan.
They executed it.
And it worked.
The plan that LeBron keeps executing seems to keep on working, man.
He's a freak. He's a freak.
He's a nut.
When you were talking to him, when you were texting afterwards,
anything else that he had to say regarding this latest ring
that you can at least share with us?
I mean, no, not really.
It's not even about those things.
I think it's more in the hindsight.
I think for him right now you know once you win
one it's like okay we gotta we gotta win another one because it's only a certain small window if
you're um if you have a championship contending team you know with him i guess you know if you
switch teams you can you know elongate that uh window but yeah it's just about the next it's
always about the next um uh next thing coming you know about the next thing coming. Who do you think he was talking about when he said,
put some respect on my name?
Critics.
Critics?
I believe.
That's me.
That's just my opinion.
The debate around here was that that was directed,
that was directly about the Jordan versus LeBron debate.
Because the guys around here said, well, who else could it be?
And I was like like are you serious
there's a million people who criticize lebron you know like it doesn't happen they try not to put
him in that space then and they always it's kind of like not appreciating greatness as we're
watching it happen oh yeah you know totally taking it for granted i think this i think this title
made lebron versus mj if not like if it didn't seal the deal to you, it made the debate more
boring. You used to
have more of a leg to stand on, where now it's like
he's done it everywhere.
He's done it four times in three different cities
with all these different... Laker, you know what I mean?
Yeah, like revived
dead franchises. It's not
fun. To me, at least, it's just like
it's not fun anymore.
There used to be interesting arguments.
All you can say is it's different generations.
And that's what it is.
I mean, I never liked the comparison anyway because, you know,
if you were to compare styles, MJ was more like a ninja assassin.
You know, he's going to scale the walls, do acrobatic feats,
and just dismantle you with fundamentals.
LeBron is more of a continuity player.
He's into the flow of the game, passes it, of course, a little bit more,
but he's a point guard.
Not that Jordan didn't, but LeBron seems to be more focused
on getting guys involved.
And he's going to score the way he scores.
Even when the Game 5 loss, I guess, when he passed to Danny Green.
And people were like, well, Jordan never would have passed that.
It's like, yeah, I know.
Jordan never passed it, period.
And LeBron does.
You know, LeBron's always good.
But then, right?
But then, right?
Steve Kerr, top of the key.
Right, yeah.
Right?
What was that nine seven yeah
or paxton yeah i mean it happened you know what i mean well he passed it to grant first well he
passed he jordan brought it up got off the ball went to pippen pippen to grant grant boom back
out to the uh uh wing right so you know he's very aware of you know how to play the game right you
know it's just everybody has their different styles.
In all your years with him, did he ever directly address any of the LeBron-MJ talk?
Never.
Never.
Never, ever, ever, ever.
It's not even, you know, it's so funny to watch people.
Who's the GOAT?
Who's the GOAT?
I've hung with Kobe.
I've hung around Jordan.ordan magic brun never heard a
word you know it's it's yes it's a it's an argument that nobody cares about do you think
that like maybe not in front of you do you think that in front of a family member a friend do you
think they ever address it like in privacy deep dark in privacy i would yeah you ask me things
i'm a competitor you ask me i'm the best foreman that ever lived.
Right, right.
If it wasn't for Tim Duncan.
Is that true?
Probably not.
But I feel that way, you know.
Do you think Braun winning one with Rondo makes –
because I know you were a part of why that Celtics team, first of all, got dismantled.
Second of all, why they fell out of kinship with Ray Allen because he went to go play with you guys.
And they all just stopped talking to him.
They all shut him out of their lives.
And it became this – again, I'm from Boston.
So it became this weird rallying thing that everyone loved.
It's so cool.
And for a split second there, it was cool.
When we still had that rivalry before you guys just fucking again got rid of us as a team
it was still cool being like yeah to hell with him fuck him and then it got silly over the years
and now that rondo's gone and won with braun it's incredibly silly right i mean you know i think
sometimes it's kind of hyper focused in in the in the beginning and hey we all getting our feelings
right and yeah if you know i totally get it you know ray um coming to miami how people would not
like that um but eventually you know it's a game and and we compete you compete as hard as you can
you try your best to do your best right you put in all the work you can and then afterwards man
but they
just had the 10-year reunion of that team winning the championship they didn't invite ray yeah i
mean i would like to see i would like to see you know guys not be i mean now with that said i don't
know anything about the story you know but in moments like that yo we're you know have the
whole band you know or don't do it at all, but that's on them. They can do whatever.
It's also easy to say, you know, when you were a part of the dynasty and I,
you guys, you were winning. So it's all great.
Easy for me to say. Right. And like I say, Hey man,
I'm not on the Boston Celtics 10 year reunion committee. Right.
They can, they can.
Things are a lot more fun. How fun was that dude? I mean, that must've been, I mean, and you know they can they can things are a lot more fun in my how fun was that dude
i mean that must have been i mean and you know you had your moments with the spurs where and
the in the maps where you fell short and i'm sure there was some criticism and it wasn't all gravy
it wasn't all roses but for the most part balling with that crew in that city must have been
unbelievable the more we get removed from it, the more we understand.
Like every time I go back to Miami, people pull me to the side,
even if I'm just walking down, you know, pre-COVID and everything.
But they would be just like, man, you remember, you remember how it was.
It was more than just a basketball game.
Every game, like Floyd is there.
Ray Ross is there.
Khaled is there.
Bieber.
Bieber was a big Heat fan that day.
The Biebs is in town tonight.
Pat Riley's up there sitting with Michael Douglas.
You know what I mean?
And that's a Tuesday.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, wait until the Lakers come to town.
It was a fun time.
It was a circus every heat game, I remember.
I remember, sure.
I didn't see all of them, obviously, but I remember every heat game I watched.
It was awesome.
It was amazing.
It was a lot of fun.
It was like, what are they called?
Celebrity Row in LA or whatever it is?
Or is that New York?
Either way, but yeah.
It was one of those cities.
Everyone.
Again, like you said, on a Tuesday night.
It was crazy.
I remember, dude, even that um I was living I was
probably mid-college at that point and maybe late mid to late college whatever it was and like we
were staying we were living in the summer and we like went out to go watch your like announcement
party where you know like they're not not one not two and like we were like where were you
I was in Newport Island you were in New Newport? They showed that on TV there?
Yeah, it was everywhere, man.
So let me tell you, so I know, you know, everybody kind of, we can laugh at it now.
Everybody kind of gives us a tough time.
But dude, we didn't know that that was televised everywhere.
You know, at least I didn't know.
It's like, oh yeah, Fox Sports, Miami, you know, the South.
We didn't know it was, the south we didn't know it was
at least I didn't know it was televised everywhere
in that moment were you
like was there any part of you
that was like this is a little silly or you were like
fuck it let's just go have some fun
I want it all
look at this there's 20,000
people here and there's no basketball
and you know come to find out
like it was already set up for uh for a concert yeah we were just that in between day and so you know i watched
wrestling all my life you know so i knew exactly what to do you watch the replay you saw what i
was doing i'm like yeah crowd activation baby give it to him baby you gotta Rick Flair. You got to give him that Rick Flair. Hey.
How y'all feeling tonight over here, baby?
You know what's so funny, though?
Like, when you put it that way, when you put it that way, that sounds, like, fun and likable. Like, if you guys were maybe able to preface that or explain yourselves afterwards where it was like, yeah, man, to me that was like I was living out a childhood dream of being a wrestler as opposed to the other that the people who hate on you guys thought of that as like arrogance.
And like they're so cocky and it's like I was pretending to be fucking Ric Flair for the night, man.
Well, I mean, it's one of the things to like, what do you think happened?
Do you think we, you know, said, hey, we're coming to Miami. All right.
We need a stage over here. All i want the crowd there we didn't plan it
right you know but i still i still understand you know why um everyone reacted the way they did i
totally get it but also we're in our own world i saw you on uh on shannon sharp's podcast and
you were talking about how like i never realized that it got cut where lebron he didn't say we're
coming here he said like we don't want to win justron, he didn't say, we're coming here.
He said, we don't want to win just one.
We want to come here and win one, not one, not two, not three.
And it's just like, we want to.
Of course we want to.
We're not guaranteeing it, but it's cut so short that it seems like he's making a guarantee up there.
We gave it right to him.
Not one, not two.
And then it gets spun and it's to him. Yeah. Oh, not one, not two. And then it gets spun, and it's like, oh, boy.
Was there ever a talk like, yo, Bron, you had to say eight, dude.
You couldn't have stopped at three.
You had to say seven and eight, man.
Hey, for real.
In my mind, I said, yo, we might could win.
We could be the first team to win four championships in a row.
It wasn't that great.
It wasn't for Tim Duncan.
You're just bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Yeah, you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, man.
You're not really thinking about how hard it is.
You don't know how hard it is.
You don't know about what's about to come your way.
You don't know that you're about to go on stage
and people will perceive that you're going to win
eight championships in a row.
You know what I'm saying?
It just, you know, we got thrown a lot of curveballs pretty quick.
But, you know, that's the business.
And we had to learn that.
Well, it was still a pretty successful run, Chris.
Yeah, I mean, you made it out.
With that said, look, we still delivered on some fronts.
It's extremely hard winning the championship.
It's hard going back to back.
I have so much more respect for the Laker teams and the Bulls teams that did it
because it's damn near impossible to three-peat.
But, you know, we had a crack at it, and that's all you can ask for sometimes.
Amen, man.
We're going to wrap up here with a couple questions from the internet.
It's a game we play called Answer the Internet.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, hypothetical questions and whatnot.
Just start off with the free throw one here.
Okay.
Let's say you're at the free throw line.
Okay.
If you miss it.
Wait, what is this?
You hit one shot at free throw.
You make it.
You get $10 million.
You miss it.
You can never text message ever again.
No DMs.
No type of written communication ever again. You taking that, no type of written communication ever
again. You taking that shot?
Yeah.
Can I warm up?
No, you know what? You're coming
in cold. You're the first basketball player.
As long as we're not outside. If we're outside,
I'm not taking that bet. If it's like one of them
park rims with the triple rims
and the metal net.
I'm not taking that. They took enough of my money at the carnivals.
You know what I'm saying?
All right.
So we're in a jam.
I'll take that.
Indoor, you take it.
All right.
Yeah, I'm taking that.
All right.
You were on Entourage.
If you could have a cameo on any current television show, what would it be?
Any which current?
Any current TV show.
Man, dude, I don't even watch TV.
Really?
Nothing in retirement?
Yeah, no, I don't even watch TV. Really? Nothing in retirement? Yeah, no, man.
I probably, man, I guess I would go with Fargo because Chris Rock is in it.
There you go.
That's a good one, too.
It's such a crazy story, and everybody is so into their characters.
I would definitely yeah i definitely
you know very well respected too and they do there's always a lot of cameos in that and people
are like oh shit you were the guy in fargo so good choice absolutely yeah if your girlfriend's
birthday or wife's birthday lands on the biggest sports day of the year how do you play it
let's say right let's say let's say game seven happened and your wife's birthday was tuesday
night what are you doing let me see man i would have a conversation with her and see how she feels
and if she's like nah let's you know that reservation that she said you booked, let's go do it.
We do it.
But I would only ask, I would only watch game seven with permission.
Is there a feeling when you, I was about to say when you graduate, once you retire, is there a feeling of like, you know what?
You've pretty much like lived on my schedule for the last, you know, 10 years.
And now it's your turn.
You have to kind of like, does she drive for now?
Oh, yeah, for sure. And I'm totally, you know, years and now it's your turn you have to kind of like does she drive for now oh yeah for sure and i'm totally you know with that i mean you know my wife in particular she
held it down for so long i mean you don't understand how much um the wife does until
your home day to day right and i mean like the the minute i wasn't playing basketball anymore
and didn't have that schedule, I remember coming
downstairs. I got a lot of kids
and I remember just coming down and being
like, man, it's loud in
here.
Really loud.
She's like, yeah,
they're in the playroom before your nap.
You know what I'm saying? It's those
little things like that that you don't even see
coming or even
think. She's got it all all she can do what she wants it probably helps for you
even to have that structure because like when was the last time before sports ended that you were
in like complete control of your life like 16 years old man yeah I'll control right now living under my parents roof uh yeah i would say
16 going into 17 i was i would say 17 only because um that is when it really got picked
up that's when i became a serious prospect like when i was was 16, it's like, okay, this kid maybe can play. And then, you know,
I was pretty much top player in Texas.
And so that's when the narrative changed a lot.
So that's when it was basketball, basketball, pick you up game.
If you're not at practice or not, somebody is checking up.
It's either a coach, a mom, a parent, a friend. Where, where were you?
Where were you? Where were you?
So, you know, the checks and balances started happening quite quickly.
But I'll say 16 and a half, 17.
All right.
What is – all right, you're put in charge of running heck.
It's the afterlife for people who aren't quite bad enough for hell.
What is a punishment you design?
We're in heck. What's something that i would make them do
um we've got like you have to stand in line without a phone yeah what's like the most
aggravating thing you go through on a day-to-day basis oh man you know what i i'll throw out an
answer for you you have to sit in chris bosh's kids playroom and just hear oh for sure yeah
you got it man that's a, that's a good one.
But it's so rewarding in the end.
Yeah.
Well, other people's kids, though.
Your kids is fine.
Yeah, yeah, your kids.
I would take a person.
If you didn't have any kids, yeah, you've got to go with multiple kids in the playroom,
and you've got to get out of here by being a good person and doing what they want to do.
That might be for hell. That might not be heck that might be hell last one we're gonna let you go on this would you rather be a pig and be able to orgasm for
30 minutes or be a lion and who has sex 60 times a day good grief yeah so it's one giant one or
60 times quantity over quality minutes yeah it's 30 giant one or 60 times. Quantity over quality.
Pigs is 30 minutes.
Yep.
Who comes up with this stuff?
I'm going to go with the pig, man.
Lion, you got to slow down.
You got to slow down, baby.
You can't be just out there like that.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you're going to have kids everywhere, you know, child support.
That's not a joke.
All right, man. Thanks so much. Really's not a joke. All right, man.
Thanks so much.
Really looking forward to this second career here, man.
I'm going to check out the music.
DZ Brown's out now.
I want it all.
It's about a little Kobe tribute.
All platforms.
All platforms.
And we're going to keep coming every month at Daddy Jack Records.
Daddy Jack Records is coming, man.
I appreciate you guys.
Thank you, brother.
Thank you so much, Chris.
Great talking to you, man.
Appreciate it.
Nice talking to you guys.
All right.
Big thanks to the Bostrich getting into the music game now.
He's just like, you know, I never would have guessed it.
I don't know why.
I never thought one way or the other about Chris Bosh,
about how he talks and how he converses and all that.
But it's interesting.
It is interesting.
Right?
It's weird.
It's just like, yeah, out of all the people we've talked to,
you want to have like a really good conversation about life and sports.
Chris Bosh is like right at the top of the list.
Also at the top of this list, Matt Bomer, who I'm happy.
I'm really happy we have Bomer on because at one point I got to talk to him about something.
He's probably the best looking person we've ever talked to, right?
Yeah, I would say so.
Right?
Male or female and i got to finally just lay it
on the line with someone who is strikingly good looking like just tell me the fucking truth about
what it's like to be as good looking as you are and i'll be honest he has a good answer he he
he's sneaky with it but it is a good answer but i but it's interesting to be it's like that's like
talking to michael jordan be like tell me what it's like about when you have a basketball in your hands you know matt ballmer
what does it look like when you look in the fucking mirror just tell me uh he also stereotyped
us oh we were profiled like a motherfucker love the guy and i understand what he's doing as soon
as i can always tell what happens with with when you're doing an interview you can always tell
what kind of guy you're getting right away. You can either get someone who just woke up
and is mailing it in and doesn't care,
or you can get a guy who right away is asking you questions,
and he comes with energy, and he's like,
what's up, guys?
And Matt was that dude right away.
And I like when people ask,
they turn the tables a little bit.
He was very quick.
He's just like, how are you guys doing?
What's up today?
And then it becomes a two-way street.
It's not just QA, QA.
I hate that.
That's why I like to interject, and we have a normal conversation.
And he was doing that right away.
But in that process comes, like, you've got to steer the topics.
Like, you've got to ask questions and drive traffic the way you think the conversation should go.
And we were profiled like a motherfucker because Matt is this stunningly handsome actor and he's gay.
He's acting.
He's in the arts.
He's creative.
He's the opposite of us in a lot of ways.
And so he was trying to relate to us by just bringing up sports and football and fantasy sports.
And at every turn, he would be like, that's like my fantasy team.
Am I right, guys?
That's like that tackle yesterday on the football field.
And he does know football.
He's not faking it.
But I was like, yo, wrong show, bud.
We want to talk about your play.
We want to talk about.
What's up, boys in the band, man?
We want to talk about kissing dudes and handsome boys.
I didn't know Matt was a dad.
I regret leaving him off the top five on his dad's.
Oh, yeah.
He's right to the fucking top, man.
But, yeah, he kept being, you know, that's like, how's your fantasy team doing?
It's like, well, doesn't exist, bud.
I don't know.
Ask me again in 2007, Matt.
It's like, you are talking to the two worst straight guys on the planet.
So how about we talk about some gay stuff, man?
So we were profiled but
it was a great talk he's an awesome dude he was the man i very very much enjoyed matt palmer and
i very much enjoy 3g like very very much enjoy 3g i know that large is going through sober october
right now so he's just relying on the 3g gummies it's like that doesn't really even count bro
you're not doing sober october if you're ripping the delta 8 guns because that's that's not very the delta 8 is the greatest loophole in the world we should do top five loopholes
top five you know little ways to skate around uh rules and regulations and whatnot uh delta
8 is the greatest loophole in the world it's a legal version a federally legalized version of
thc it's a hybrid of cbd and delta 9 and delta 9 is what's basically
in your regular marijuana it gives you this similar buzz and all the medicinal benefits of
delta 9 but because it's this compound that they mix up there's no grogginess or laziness or mental
fogginess all that shit gone no no paranoia none of that uh so you you get uh some people i guess have uh have reported increased
confidence and and more outgoing i i just get i just get buzzed like a motherfucker uh they've
got the gummies they've got the tincture the oil drops they've got the vape pens and the vape pens
it's very like very light like it's like smooth very, I'm not, you don't cough or anything like that. Like it's,
it's nice.
Uh,
it's in the,
you puff fat clouds as Tommy smokes would say.
Uh,
so I mean,
go get this Delta eight gummies with the three Chi because I just,
I don't know how long it's always going to last.
We ran into a little bit of trouble at one point where it was hard to get.
Make sure you get it.
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Let's talk to my buddy, Matt.
What up, guys?
Yeah.
What is going on, dude?
What's up, pal?
How are you?
You look obnoxiously handsome over Zoom.
Oh, stop it.
Oh, fuck you.
You know it, too.
You know it.
Guys, look how fucking professional I am today.
Yeah, look at you with the mic and everything, man.
Sirius sent me
this for when we had to do a bunch of these you know things when there are like 12 people talking
at once so if it's excessive just let me know and i'll put it away but i've hung on to it
just for you guys thank you we appreciate it all this time i like how you didn't call this
bullshit you said these things like you can call it bullshit it's all right yeah i mean you know this is the gig
right it's what it is this is what we do right yeah is this so ray lewis has a quote like a
famous quote that i always love where he was talking about uh like his pay his contract in
terms of football where he's like you pay me for monday through saturday sunday i give you for free
is that how acting is like like they pay you my mantra i mean you can
ask any one of my representatives what i always tell them is i i act for pre for free i get paid
to do press yeah yeah that's how i feel like all the other rigamarole it's all the other rigamarole
that goes around it this this really feels like work in a different way because what we do i mean
there are aspects of the job that do feel like work, just the, you know,
4 a.m. call times or, you know, 16 hour days sometimes can feel like it.
But when I'm actually getting to act, it never feels like work to me.
You know, what's the worst interview you had to do so far for this?
You can name them.
Well, it's not about the people or the, or the, the, you know or the show or anything like that.
It was more that I had to do a morning show in New York.
So I had to be on camera at 5 a.m. my time, actually trying to sound coherent.
Yeah.
And they didn't have – they used a different platform.
So we weren't on zoom i actually had to set up an
ipad and and kind of use books to hold it so it was so precariously balanced at 5 a.m you know
and i couldn't see anybody i just had to look i could hear them and they were like do you have
two sets of air air pods that we can use one to connect to this one and i was like
who do you people think you're talking to like like what do you do you just ask everybody who
comes onto your show if they have two sets of air pods because that's that's kind of a celebrity
i'm not that rich i mean come on come on you have to swim in it so thankfully it all worked out they
were great it all worked out fine but i couldn't see anybody either, which also kind of makes it strange to have a conversation, you know.
I'm taking a picture of us right now, guys.
Oh, no.
I mean, I am.
Can you make sure you're not in it, please?
Ready?
One, two, three.
Yes.
Yikes.
What's going on, you guys?
What's going on in New York right now?
How is it?
What's the climate?
It's dead.
Yeah, I mean, it's good, though.
I like it like that.
I'm being sarcastic.
Everyone wants New York to be dead, so it's always like, oh, look what happened to the liberal stronghold, and we're doing just fine, thank you.
Good.
The bars are open.
The taps are flowing.
That's it.
We sit on the street and drink.
It's beautiful.
There's drinking going on.
That's all that matters.
If only the Jets and the Giants were playing a little better,
life would be, you know.
Where are you from?
You're Missouri originally, right?
Yeah.
So I spent half my childhood in St. Louis
and half my childhood outside of Houston.
But by the time I became a football fan, I was in Houston.
So I was really an Oilers fan,
and I went through all those heartbreak years during the run and shoot warren moon yeah uh and then where did you go from there did you
did you follow them to tennessee did you go do you stick with the texans or how does that work
so well no i haven't gone there yet i went to college in pittsburgh at carnegie mellon
so i kind of went to some steelers games there but i wouldn't say that they're my number one
team or anything once the oilers became the titans i followed them for a little bit
uh and then once we got to la and we had kids it was like i told our oldest who's a huge football
fan i said look we have to decide on who our team's going to be and this is back when la didn't
have two teams right to choose from so i was like are we going to be the chargers? Are we going to be the Raiders?
Are we going to be the Niners?
And he chose the Niners.
And since then we have been diehard Niners fans through the good and the bad,
the thick and the thin.
And every year, usually we go up to a game and it's like a great kind of
bonding experience for us to have where we go up and how old is he now?
He's 15.
Oh, wow. That's actually kind of, that's a pretty cool experience and pretty unique to have where we go up and how old is he now he's 15 oh wow that's actually kind of that's
a pretty cool experience and pretty unique to have like a father son be like look i don't my team the
team i had allegiance to was gone yeah so who do you want like let's let's let's go in this together
usually like like me i was forced into i'm from boston i'm from outside boston and so like it was
just like i like i actually as a kid i liked the rangers and my dad was just like nah you don't you're you're about you're a bruins fan and so like i i just i'm i i'm happily a boston fan
obviously with uh our recent boston is such a great town to be a sports fan yeah yeah i say so
yeah i mean it's obnoxious is what it is uh i went through a phase. I'm considering not,
I'm going through the phase,
not passing my teams onto my kids
because I am a Mets, Jets, Knicks fan,
and it's been absolutely fucking miserable.
And it has not been fun.
And people say things like,
well, it builds character,
or when you do win,
it's going to be that much sweeter.
And it's like, well, not really,
because no, A, it's probably not going to happen, and B, time it does happen i'll be like 45 and i'm old and i'm not
having fun anymore like this guy got to win when he was a teenager and then win when he was in
college and win when he's in his 20s and you party and you have fun who cares if i win one when i'm
like a thousand so why don't you know i'm not going to do that to my kid i think i think it's
abuse i think it's abusive to make my kids root for my team and you know it's tricky i mean i guess it's your call
you know i had one of our 12 year olds say to me last year after the niners lost in the super bowl
he was like do you think they'll ever get into the super bowl again and i was like i don't know
no guarantees i'm assuming it will happen just based on the legacy of the franchise
but you don't know yeah but it's great you know it's such a cool san fran is such a great town
and the fact that we every year get to go up there and i mean it used to be a lot easier before it
was in santa rosa now we just kind of drive down but uh you know we just hang out in san fran i
take him to chinatown we'd have a great weekend experience and then we go to the game it was kind
of a perfect three-day weekend those weekends are always the best my my dad and
i used to do it we were patriots fans but by like grandfather because the patriots weren't around
when he was a kid so he was a giants fan so he had giant season tickets so we'd go to one game a year
where we'd like take the acela down from boston and then we'd like spend like get a hotel like
do like a weekend in the city and those are like the best weekends of my life the the yes the father-son aspect you can
get with sports or just any shared interest is always like all right this is i can i can see
myself like being happy and growing up with this we're just like the the the the connection you
make with your dad is impossible to beat on those yeah yeah it's a great way to connect with anyone in your family you know i mean uh i know my dad is i guess for college i'm
i'm like a memphis state or university of memphis i should say now fan because of my dad as well
that was the one thing that was passed down because he played for what was memphis state at
the time so um so that one you didn't have a choice on that's that was the one man you're rooting for memphis yeah yeah my dad had all these you know because he was drafted by dallas and so he had
all these kind of conflicted emotions about like jerry jones and all these other things and so we
didn't end up going to a ton of nfl games growing up we would watch them together despite the fact
he got drafted because he did what two years in league no one he got injured early on and um they already
had i guess the all-american in his position and so he got let go on waivers and he got he actually
got picked an offer from uh boston from new england to be picked up by the patriots but he was just
one of those guys in the 70s who's like if i'm gonna play football i want to play for the dallas cowboys wow so he
would rather not play professional football if it wasn't for the cowboys he he was not interested in
going to the patriots that's my understanding what did he do after it's like now i'm gonna go
like sell cars no well he'd gotten a degree in business he was very smart that while he was you
know on a football scholarship he'd gotten a a degree in business. And he actually went and helped coach at Memphis State
for a little while, the offensive line there.
And then he started using his business degree
and he got into the shipping industry of all things.
Holy shit.
Which he was working in from St. Louis,
which is such a strange place to think of a shipping industry.
The port of St. Louis, who hasn't heard of it?
Who hasn't been there?
It all goes to the mississippi boys so with a dad who was that kind of like diehard football and
clearly like diehard american football when you you quit football when you because you were a
hell of a football player too right i was not a hell of a football player i was i'll tell you i
was a hell of a like backyard pickup football player. I played a mean tackle backyard football game.
And I was okay in tackle, but I wasn't huge.
I was just under six feet, 170 pounds.
And I ran like a 4'6", 4'7".
Yo, that's fast as hell, Matt!
No, 4'7", 40 is not fast.
Yeah, 7, we're pushing it i i ran one recently
i was like a little under six so i'm gonna call 47 fast as hell but i loved it you know and i and
i and i grew up just like i mean that when i was a kid like just playing football in the side yard
that was like a part of my life you know from the time i was probably 12 to i started
playing in pads you know did you have a moment where you were like wait a minute i'm just
fucking gorgeous so i'm not gonna do this anymore no i never had that moment and i still haven't
had that no all right let's talk let's have a talk here. I want to have a talk. I want you to talk to me seriously and truthfully right now.
I mean, you know, and it's okay.
We're in the trust tree.
We're not being cocky.
We're not being arrogant.
You know that you are stunningly good looking.
You know what society deems to be good looking,
whatever we can have that conversation another time.
You know, based on the hair and the eyes and the teeth
and the jaw and everything,
that you are stunningly attractive.
I mean, maybe I'm just not my
type, you know what I mean?
You son of a bitch! That's a great fucking answer!
You know,
I'll tell you this,
one of the nice
parts of being raised in a very religious household
is that you're so discouraged away from any pride.
That's what they do.
So Sean, it's like, they will chop you down if you're that tall.
That's what they do.
Don't get out there.
Don't climb up there.
So I'm glad they did that for me because it allows me to never look at myself and never have self-confidence ever
no self-esteem over here i started magic mike and i'm still like well i'm not that good looking
when you get the nod for magic mike they're not cast and ugly guys you know that
you know what's crazy is i didn't even think about the subject matter as much i was really wanting
to work with steven soderbergh and who i love and who's still a good friend of mine and who
is an amazing guy but at the time he was saying he was thinking about not directing anymore which
obviously isn't true but that's what he was thinking at the time so i thought man if this
is my chance to work with steven like i gotta to jump out. No matter what, right? It wasn't until I said yes that I realized the levels of waxing and tanner and abdominal crunches I was in for.
Do you think that movie – it doesn't get better because it's universally beloved.
But do you think less people saw that movie?
Obviously they did because like, oh, I can't see a shirtless man.
That's gross.
But the – like it's a great movie aside from very like it's entertaining without just a stripper lifestyle.
But it's also like a great story and a great movie.
Do you think that almost the stripper aspect took away from it, even though it's not really it's just Channing's story, right?
I mean, I think it's based on Channing's story.
You'd probably have to ask him more than me.
I don't want to speak on his behalf but i think he did a great job of of also making it a commentary
on capitalist culture and and what it means to try to make a buck and what kind of ethics and
are parts of yourself do you have to sacrifice in order to try to to make a dollar and get ahead in
the world you know yeah they're writing theses about it in college right now it's a legitimately awesome movie it's like like it's a cool story of like just like hanging
out with your boys and having a good time and yeah having dreams and stuff like that the stories in
are incredible it's the first one's really dark the second one is definitely more kind of like a
road trip move buddy movie yeah yeah buddy movie and it kind of reverses the gaze uh the male gaze where women can
kind of objectify men which i think is good we should do that in 20 whatever yeah you know what
they were making big waves last night on the bachelorette they had uh the girls made the guys
play strip dodgeball and they were fucking they went dicks out. They were totally naked. They did not. They did not grow up full trowel.
They did.
They did.
That's a dangerous game to play naked.
You got to be confident and to walk around with a house full of good looking dudes.
They were dicks out.
And some people were.
And dodgeball too.
I know.
You're moving and flopping.
Very vulnerable.
Right.
But, you know, there was a bunch of think pieces, I think, on away about like this is objectifying and the producers were like yeah it's the bachelor
the bachelorette that's what we do here you know but yeah it was it was fun it was funny to watch
that you know i have to say i've never seen the bachelor or the bachelorette and i get chastised
for it constantly because people like live and die by that show. Yeah. You would be great on it.
By the way,
it's insane.
You would kill it.
Sign up for that.
Yeah.
It's in here.
Barstool sports.
People think it's very sports heavy at my Twitter timeline at 8 PM on
Tuesdays.
It turns into exclusive bachelor stuff.
And I've actually never seen,
I've seen,
I tried to watch one episode.
I don't,
I,
you typically just don't really care for reality TV. And I tried to watch one episode. I don't, I typically just don't really care for reality TV.
And I tried to watch one episode of Bachelor in Paradise because everyone here loves it so much.
And it just didn't hit for me.
But it's, it's crazy how popular it is.
It's like a sport in its own right.
I feel like particularly in the sports world.
It's obviously The Bachelor has its own world.
But my Twitter timeline is largely sports writers or athletes.
And it's all anyone talks about.
Yeah.
You got to get into it, man. Give about. Yeah. You got to get into it,
man.
Give it a shot.
I got to get into it,
man.
I,
right now I'm just trying to keep my fantasy team up in the top of the
ranks,
baby.
Cause I'm having a year this year.
Yeah.
I only have one loss so far.
I'm doing okay.
All right.
It's a,
it's an interesting year for that too,
with,
with Corona cancellations,
rescheduling.
I'm sure it's fucking everything.
And injuries,
man.
It was like that first
niners game just broke my heart i was like i mean it's so dispiriting to have so many of your stars
injured in one game yeah you're fine i've never experienced anything like that as a fan yeah the
patriots had to have arizona like last day well it was just like it wasn't stars but it was just
last week because they hadn't practiced for two weeks because of COVID. They had the COVID lockdown.
They had a game canceled.
They had two practices over the last two weeks.
It really shows how important practice is.
They got injured and they stunk.
It was just like every play, guy down, guy down, guy down.
And it turns out practice is important despite what Allen Iverson said.
Yeah, and I got to imagine the conditioning and some of the hits, I have to say, I'm, I'm, I'm, I love Arizona.
I think they have an amazing defense. Some of the hits I was like, yo,
but then I thought, well,
maybe these guys haven't really had time to practice and like practice
hitting. So of course they're not like squaring up on people.
They're just trying to get people down. Right. Right. Messy game.
So tell me a little bit about my boy Kittle, man.
Yo, he is a player. He is a stud, dude.
Tell me a little bit about the new project here,
The Boys in the Band.
Boys in the Band is on Netflix.
So it's based, we did the play on Broadway back in 2018,
and it's based on the play.
We got the same cast, same director,
but it's about this group of friends in 1968 in New York.
We're all gathered for a friend's birthday party.
And the arrival of an unexpected stranger sort of throws everything into
chaos and,
and is really revelatory about these men.
It's,
it's a group of gay men in 1968 before Stonewall.
And it's really revealing about their relationships to themselves,
to each other and to society at large.
But it's also really
really funny okay i was gonna say that sounds like saying i'm funny but i'm saying material
is very very good i mean i watched uh the normal heart was like one of the most like uh i mean that
was one of the most i don't want to say difficult to watch but like it was intense you know it was
like heavy heavy it was
great but it was like when i finished it i was like oh my god i need to like take a nap i need
to like yeah you know unwind from it it was gripping uh but this has more of like a humorous
uh twist this definitely does i mean look it was an honor to be a part of both of these stories
they're both kind of iconic um pieces of um in the lgbtq plus canon you know is that something you you seek out I mean is it
it's not coincidence that you've done multiple projects now that are are in that realm or is it
you know it is and it isn't because they were I certainly the normal heart was like such a
memorable aspect I remember reading it for the first time when i was like a teenager growing
up be like whoa what is going on in the world that i don't know about in rural texas um so uh
they'd been on my radar um and i and i'm i'm so thankful it's really ryan murphy who's brought me
into the the pieces and and uh you know he's the reason i'm really involved in getting to tell them
on the platform that i'm getting to tell them on.
I was reading an interview with you about, I think it was in Geo.
And it was, you said something which I found interesting, where it's like you and the cast of Boys in the Band
decided you weren't going in to do an important movie, a quote unquote important movie.
You were like, we're just going to do a movie.
Is that something you feel when you go into movies?
Like, I have to tell a particular story, or are you just like, I'm gonna do a movie is that that's something you feel when you go into movies like i have to i have to tell a particular story but are you just like i'm an
actor i want to act yeah well i think i i think it's a it's a trap to ever think we should play
how important this is right right i now now i am one of those people who i do feel like the set is
kind of a sacred space i want some something magic there to happen every day.
I want to give it that respect, you know.
And I think certainly with Normal Heart and with Boys in the Band, you realize you on these iconic pieces is that you don't have their work is going to transcend whatever you do
to it yeah it's like it's like it's in the words it's in the story and you really your job is just
to go there and play the scene and give it all the respect and and and thought and emotion that
it deserves you know we got a little game here we'd like to play.
By the way, in that Gio interview, the last question they asked you,
that was crazy, right?
What did they ask me?
It was like, who's the person who you've lost that hurt the most
and what would you say to them?
And you were like, I mean, you're like,
I've had pretty good peace with everyone I've lost.
It was a heavy question.
Because, like, they were all just regular questions.
And then it ended with, what would you tell your loved one if you could talk to them again?
I don't know, man.
Go watch the boys in the band.
Yeah, it's also one of those questions.
Watch the boys in the band.
Streaming now on Netflix.
No, it's also one of those questions like, bro, do you really think I'm going to give that up in an interview?
I love you.
I'm so honored to be in this magazine. But I don't think the person I'm thinking of right now is reading this article.
Hopefully they have other things to do in heaven, whatever they're doing.
Well, we've got a series of questions here.
It's called Answer the Internet.
They're from our callers and from the deepest, darkest corners of the Internet.
So we're going to hit you with some hypotheticals.
No ducking.
No nothing.
Hit us with
the real deal all right don't worry we won't ask any about any past loved ones if you were a general
thank you if you were a general in the civil war and you could get either a t-rex or a modern war
tank to fight on your side what are you taking t-rex yeah yeah i mean like the war tag is probably like a better weapon at war but if you
just had a t-rex like send in the t-rex i mean imagine what don't send it in man i want to be
on that thing's back it's like right now it's coming through like imagine imagine what the
rebel soldiers would do if you just came barreling down atlanta on a t-rex all right fine everyone's free get this
thing out of here i want to see that i want to see that on screen i feel like that could happen
on that new hbo show all right matt how about this if we write the movie you promise to star
in it right now hell yeah there we go as long as i get to ride on a t-rex and just like plow through southern soldiers
if you could only have four teeth in your whole mouth where are you putting your four teeth
front and center man yeah you gotta go top top all four top i think i just think for my
profession i'd probably yeah you can't mess the moneymaker up, you know?
I mean, I don't know.
Like, at least have enough.
Molars for chewing, though?
Like, you can't eat food, really.
Well, I'd probably just go on a liquid diet.
I also need to, like, enunciate, you know?
Like, I need to be able to speak, and you need those front teeth to, like,
that's where your tongue makes those sounds, you know?
So when you said for your profession, you for speaking and i just assumed for looks what a
shallow asshole i am i mean listen we can we can wrap it all up into one big shiny pack all right
uh let's see here's our here's a classic one for our for us uh do you think there are more
murderers or porn stars in the world and what's your definition of porn
star that's an important one because it is like yo i like to think of them as exotic entertainers
um i would say probably adult entertainers you think yeah especially with um what's the one now you can like pay to like
isn't everybody on only you want to make some money pal you you should see the numbers that
are flying around that these guys are making bank tiger makes five million dollars a month a month
on only for you only fit just on only fans he'd only made one million
dollars in his rap career do you know how much money you could make pal let me be like i'll run
it for you you just gotta send me some pictures and stuff and i'll post them i'll do all the
grump work okay i'll take 10 i'm just scrolling through my mind of how i'm going to explain this
to our children but maybe it's like here's a lambo for your 16th birthday exactly yeah you may have seen that in
some weird pictures but here's a lamborghini okay hold on a second wait wait wait i want to gloss
over this dude does tiger like like does he just take shirtless pictures no no he does it matt i've
seen tiger's penis it's yeah yeah okay i i like i followed him on only fans i wanted to see what
he's posting sure yeah he goes he He goes full erect penis on there.
He dickies out, and usually he has a bevy of women in the background
who are more performing things while he's just kind of like,
here's my dick.
So he is not fully engaged yet, but I'm sure that's coming.
Yeah, that's for sure.
Okay.
Once you get a 10 million, you've got to skip up the game.
We've really turned your career around
in this half hour.
You are about to star in a movie
where you ride a T-Rex in the Civil War
and you got an OnlyFans.
You know what?
Let's put it together.
You have taken the road less traveled, friend.
Guys, my agent is going to love you.
Love you.
Let's do one more question before we let you go this one is good because i bet you you are an answer for a lot of people for this question if you could live
anyone's life in their body who would it be oh man because you you your answer should just be
like no i'm good yeah i'm staying right here um man i gotta say if i could live anyone's life in their body who would it be
i don't know man i mean wouldn't it be amazing to be like one of those like just
specimens in the nba who can it's just like yeah six seven and still an amazing athlete and can
dunk and just do everything and run fast when you the first time you if you're lucky enough to like
sit courtside or get on the floor like see them and it's it's weird to see someone that big move that
way and like yeah that way it's crazy i also gotta say my boy iuk after that double hurdle on the goal
line a couple weeks ago i was like okay i'd like to know what it's like to be able to hurdle two
defenders at full speed in the nfl every time someone says Ayuk's name, I think they're doing a sound from Street Fighter.
Ayuk!
Ayuk!
Ayuk!
Ayuk!
We should make that shirt, actually.
See, my answer for this would be probably anybody from Magic Mike.
Yeah, it's this guy right fucking here.
I'm looking at him.
Don't choose me, man.
No, I mean.
It'd be Joe.
It would be Matthew McConaughey.
Tell me why I should not want to have your body. Manganiello's like 6'6. Don't choose me. No, I mean. It would be Joe. It would be Matthew McConaughey. Tell me why I should not want to have your body.
Manganiello's like 6'6".
Don't tell me.
I know them.
Kevin Nash is like 7 feet.
Your painting is like 6'2", but can move like a yuke.
Channing, is he as cool as he seems?
Because I've read GQ pieces on him and stuff like that.
The GQ cover story, the expose, is always one of my favorite articles to read.
And his, this is probably from years ago, when he picked up the woman who was doing the article, he canceled the car on her.
So he just showed up holding her name.
And then they just went into the desert in L.A. and just got shit-faced in an old sheriff's town.
And she's like, he's the coolest guy ever.
He woke me up kicking me in the morning morning he was already drinking tequila again and i was like that's a guy
i want to hang out with yeah i think i i think you would i think he's about as as as good as it gets
in the biz you know he's very authentic he hasn't lost touch with himself he's always searching he's
like he's a really open guy he's he's funny he's fun to hang
out with and he's also uh one thing that's tricky when you're a movie star is he's a great leader
on a set you know he makes it feel like an ensemble experience even if he's the one even if he's the
one bringing in the box office he's one of the more interesting like i feel like case studies
in hollywood i feel like when he first broke on the scene people were like oh he's just good looking like he can't act he
can't do anything when it turns out he's just like crazy talented creative person who if you get an
like if you let me give me a shot i will show you why i'm supposed to be here he's a phenomenal
actor and if you haven't seen guide to recognizing your saints which i think was like his first film role and he was nominated for like an independent spirit award he's he like came on
a scene so strong in that movie and then you know you have to do this what the studio wants you to
do which are oftentimes romantic leads which may or may not have all the nuance that other roles
media roles have when you're younger you know but he's a phenomenal actor an incredible athlete and
a in a world-class human being.
You're not too shabby yourself, man.
I appreciate the interview.
This was great.
Thanks so much.
And, uh, boys in the band is on Netflix.
It sounds awesome.
And, uh, all your, oh, you guys play one of the meanest games I've ever seen.
Yes.
We do.
They have to call the, is it the last person you loved or the first person you loved?
The first person you loved.
The first person you ever loved and if they get a certain amount of points if you get that if they answer one point to them if you tell them you love them yeah three points you love them two points if
they zero points for me i'm getting zero points in that game thank you i actually could do that
because like the girl was in like fourth grade i could call her up. You could do it. I don't have her number.
Call her your lover?
Yeah.
I actually saw her walking a child recently, so I feel like she probably wouldn't love that.
I'd appreciate that.
But that probably makes up the household.
The household can't get it out.
I'll just tell you, though, about this movie.
The thing that I think makes it something that anyone can enjoy is not only the fact that it is funny, but it's, it's,
it's also about the cost of oppression and what oppression and
marginalization does to this particular group of men in this movie.
But you don't have to look too far in 2020 to,
to see that all around us still.
So there is something about it.
That's still resonant today.
Great stuff,
man.
Thanks so much. Can't wait to see it
and come back anytime. Thank you so much, Matt.
Give my love to New York, you guys. Always great to see you.
Have a good one. Thanks, man. Thanks so much.
Alright, big thanks to Matt.
Awesome dude.
I already loved him.
And I love him even more. I mean, his eyes are
like striking. Like the fact that that's
how good he looked over fucking Zoom.
Can you imagine
when he's like dolled up for the red carpet fuck out of here man all right one more interview one
more interview for you we got andrew bachelor you know him as king batch on the internet check it
out yo yo what's up man can you hear me i can hear you but i can't there he is there he is what's
going on dude what's up how up? How we doing, man?
Good. How y'all doing?
We're good. Where you at right now?
I just landed in L.A.
All right. Back home? Is that home for you?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So back home in L.A. doing the Zoom thing.
We got a lot to talk about here.
We got new projects out.
But every time – we've talked before, and we dove into the social media game a little bit.
And even since just then, I feel like it's changed so much in just a short couple years.
Being someone that came from Vine and then has seen it evolve into this, that, the other thing, new apps, everything keeps coming out.
What's your – like the fact that you're almost like an OG apps, everything keeps coming out. What's your, what's your,
like the fact that you're almost like an OG now you've been through several
platforms, you know what I mean?
What's it feel like kind of being like watching the new ones come up?
Man, I just realized it's a cycle.
It's like the same thing that you saw in Vine. Like, um, I think Vine,
there was a group called, um, MagCon.
MagCon was a group in Vine. It was like, you know, a group of peoplecon. Madcon was a group in
Vine. It was a group of people
that just got together. They got in a house and they
started creating content together.
Now you got the
thing on TikTok. There's all
these houses, like the Hype House,
that house, this house.
You just see the cycle. You see the people
like, you can kind of tell
who's going to blow up and then have a career after TikTok
and who's going to be on the social media thing.
So it's kind of cool to see it all circle around.
Did you guys get as rich as the TikTok kids do as fast?
Were you like – because these guys are like angel investors already.
They're crazy.
They've been on the scene for six months.
They're like, oh, yeah, I'm investing in all these businesses.
How do you have that much money already?
Was Vine like that?
Was it that quick?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Vine is making money quick because back then it was like if you're getting like three million views, six million views uh tv shows were only getting like you
know a couple million views so they were looking at it as um advertisement and they were paying us
the same amount that they would pay like a tv spot shit i mean i like the face we're just like
yeah yeah we were rich bro how old were you on Vine? Vine, I think I was like 22.
All right.
So that even like in TikTok terms these days, it's like 22.
He's washed up, bro.
We have a 22-year-old girl here at the office who does TikTok a lot, but she started doing the dances.
And people are like, go home, grandma.
She looks every bit a 22-year-old.
She doesn't have like
wrinkly skin or anything like that she's got a great skincare routine and people were like get
out of here go deal with your kids it was it was so mean yeah dude it's it's a grimy world out there
yeah like i mean i feel like the the some of the stiffest competition is kids it's scary man like
i i made a video talking about it and
like uh just got caught up for like a day with them commenting and talking shit about me and i
was like these fucking teenagers are nasty man they're mean fucking kids what were they saying
just like yeah mostly old jokes and shit but they know how to they know how to like kill me right
away they're like why is it why doesn't this 40 year old man go home with his ugly hairline i was like fuck you're
right man yeah exactly mean fucking mean shit dude they need to be thanked so uh so vine you
know like goes away uh you know you kind of transition to youtube whatever how do you make
the jump like you said you can tell which people are going to be something real and which people are
going to kind of just be like stuck in the social media realm. Like, how did you make sure you were,
you were going to make it to the next real level? Uh, my focus was always acting. It was never,
um, there was never any other focus or motive that that's, that's just what it was um and i kept shooting that from the jump
uh you know i was doing auditions um i was still taking classes so i was putting in the work uh a
lot of people on that that get stuck in the social media they get caught up with like how many
followers they get and how famous they can get they just focus on that and then that's how you
get trapped and stuck into uh that one box was that weird taking classes because like you were famous like
we we had logan paul on a few times i think we've talked to him about it where he's like yeah i'm
taking classes like you're taking classes now like isn't everyone like dude you're fucking logan paul
get out of here like is it is it weird being famous in an acting class uh no because they
have these things called the master classes,
and then you have other people who are like TV regulars,
like series regulars that are in movies as well that are in the classes with you.
So it's like they're famous too.
You know what I mean?
That's kind of like maybe we should be doing some classes, man.
Shit, if even the successful famous people are doing classes.
We're not successful and famous. We don't do you tell me i'm not gonna fall ass backwards into
it that's what i've always been banking i put all my eggs in that basket it happens accidentally
some fucking some production assistant gets drunk and it's like i guess he's fine
that's he'll cut it that's that's my open door right there uh do you think i i guess some people don't
like so you you you go into it being like i want to be an actor but shit my vine just blew up my
youtube blew up whatever uh like i'll just use this you know like you're not going to turn down
that success like would you say that that helped overall by getting that fame or does it does it
make people not take you as seriously like would you have done it differently if you could go back or or did it overall help you get
where you're going it was kind of like hand in hand um i look at it as you know you have fate
and then you have the energy that you put into it once the once the uh opportunity presents itself
and uh once you know i started doing the the YouTube videos was first before the Vine.
I started doing YouTube videos and I was trying to create content that would show my capabilities as an actor.
And then in doing that, I started to gain a little fan base.
So it was it was all unintentional the way that it happened.
And then I just kept going and kept kept doing it and kept doing it. And then I got like, you know, once I got like a large following
and all the agencies that shut me down, they were just all calling me.
Funny how that happens.
They all come back around.
Funny how it's all times back and forth.
Was there any inclination to be like, fuck you guys?
Or was it just like, hey, all right, you're back around.
Let's make this happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's my attitude all the time. It's like, you know, there's all right, you're back around. Let's make this happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my attitude all the time.
It's like, you know, there's no harm, no foul.
I have a goal to set and I'm going to get there however I'm going to get there.
Was there ever any thought of like, you know, maybe I'll just keep doing this social media thing because you're making a boatload of money and it's easy and.
No, never.
It doesn't it doesn't satisfy me the way that playing characters on TV shows or movies does.
And, you know, it's like, yeah, it's cool.
You shoot on your phone.
Yeah, it's easy.
But there's something about, like, if I wanted to, like, a huge car scene, like, you know, a huge fight scene.
Yeah.
You know, take guns and all that shit.
It's like, you can't do that right with the social media you got
you know these people are paying millions upon millions upon millions of dollars to to get that
content made and that's fun to to what you said there though is interesting because you said how
easy it is like i mean i've been doing blogging podcasting videos all that shit now for like
11 years i feel like i could not go like uh corporate or go like like like to be able to
you controlled everything you did you shot it you filmed it you edited you had full control
it was exactly your internet content was exactly what you wanted it to be and then you start doing
movies and tv and whatnot and it's like you turn that over completely to someone else i is that i
mean i would be like no no we're gonna do it like this is how i completely to someone else. Is that – I mean I would be like, no, no, no.
We're going to do it like this is how I want to do it.
But obviously directors, producers, everybody else knows more than you or thinks they know more than you.
Yeah, I mean fortunately I was – what I do, it's like the directors let me improvise on set.
You know what I mean?
So they let me keep who I am, and they let me use the skills that I've learned in class and school and all of that when I'm on set so I'm having fun.
Yeah, there are times when I do get frustrated because being on the internet, I know what automatically works, what doesn't work. Yeah, there are times when I do get frustrated because, you know, being on the Internet, I know what automatically works, what doesn't work.
Right.
We get that with advertisers.
We want this to be like this kind of reader, this kind of commercial.
We're like, that's not going to do anything.
No one's going to care.
I promise you I know more about this than you do.
That's not going to work.
And they're like, well, we want it this way.
So it's like, all right, I'll do it that way.
Guess what?
Fuck it.
You should let your money on fire.
Yeah, you're wasting your money.
Like, yeah, I know how to reach people.
I know what's going to get them into the theaters.
I know what's going to get them to stream this.
Like, just let me do it.
Do you ever run into that where you're like, just you get that sort of freedom
where it's like you can control it to that extent?
Yeah, but I run into the same frustrations that you guys run into as well.
So, yeah, I totally get it.
Speaking of getting to be, like they said, they let you be you.
I'm looking at you right now, and everything is tight.
How long does this grooming situation take?
Because you are trimmed up, man.
I actually just woke up.
Oh, motherfucker.
If you rewatch this clip, you'll see me wipe my face.
That was me wiping the boogers out of my eyes.
Being rich must be awesome.
Yeah, man.
Dude, that's the worst he looks.
That right there is as bad as it gets.
Look at me.
I mean, I'm fucking, I look like a homeless person, man.
God damn, this blogging shit does not pay.
So the new, you got a couple of projects out right now, but Holiday is – tell me about that.
What's going on there?
Yeah, Holiday is a movie about two singles who want to enjoy the holidays together with their family without the embarrassment of being single.
So they go as a holiday.
Did you ever run into that
growing up or still now because you're
fucking younger than me? Do you have
parents being like, where's your girlfriend?
When are you getting married? When are we getting a grandkid?
Oh yeah, all the time.
You do?
Yeah, I just tell them, listen, everybody relax.
It's gonna happen.
It's like, I'm busy getting rich over here calm down man that's funny it doesn't matter who you are where you're from what you're doing you know the old folks in your family want you to be married
and watch you have babies and all that and it's like i don't know maybe maybe, maybe never. Who knows? Maybe never. Yeah. Maybe never. Wow.
Who meant that?
You ever run into a scenario like this where you're like, I don't know, it's a bet with a, I'll be your date for the night or I'll just go as friends or anything along those lines?
I'm sure i have uh i've never like considered it like you know like a
like a fake date or anything like that catching a plot or something like that yeah yeah yeah yeah
no never anything like that have you ever gotten a girlfriend for like an hour and got some time isn't that illegal not in vegas baby
and what's up with uh sneakerheads i'm uh unfortunately i'm addicted to the sneakers
as well it's a horrible habit of mine and i know uh sneakerheads is is uh you know a cool look at
that culture which really hasn't been portrayed too much in anything you know mainstream or or like fully uh you know fully like in the industry so uh how was that yeah i mean that
was cool it was a little it was a small thing we did and it ended up getting picked up on netflix
and uh that was cool it was like top five on netflix tv shows in the u.s and a couple number
one spots around the world. So that was dope.
I feel like that's such a great hobby, I guess you will, to attack
because the people who like it want to watch it, no doubt,
because they're like, this is my world.
And I feel like everyone else who isn't in the sneaker game
is interested in it.
Everyone's just like, oh, I want to learn more.
I feel like it's something everyone's interested in.
There's no one from the dorkiest person in the world to the coolest person in the world.
Everyone wants to look good, right?
What your taste says is good might vary, but you want to walk out the door looking good.
100%.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you into sneakers, or was that just a role you took?
A little bit of both.
I used to be back in the day, then uh when i got older i kind of like
yeah that's just kind of how it goes right eventually you just kind of like grow out of it
or you know eventually like i look around i see how many pairs i have i'm like this is just stupid
this is just so fucking stupid but i also i'm like i like having them you know it's like but
i have them if i ever need them you know all right we're gonna play a game here called answer
the internet it's questions from our podcast and all around the internet hypothetical questions that we're gonna hit you with here
um let's see how many grown men do you think it would take to kill to kill a grizzly bear
with their bare hands one bear versus how many guys how big is? I mean, it's a full-size grizzly.
We'll give it 7 feet
600 pounds.
That's a total guess what a bear is.
Five Shaquille O'Neals.
I would like to see that.
That's a big one on the internet right now, on Twitter today.
It's bear versus gorilla.
Gorillas are fucking monsters.
No, it's a bear.
It's a bear.
A bear would beat a gorilla?
Hell yeah, dude.
I don't think so.
A bear would work a gorilla.
I don't think so.
Dude, a bear has knives attached to his hands.
He's got five knives on both hands.
But the gorilla can move, man.
A gorilla can move, but guess what?
So can a bear.
Bears got reach.
Bears seven feet tall.
Gorillas aren't that big.
I feel like gorillas are swooping in,
punching, and moving out, though.
A bear is a lineman. He can take a punch.
What do you think? A bear
or a gorilla? Wow.
He's got me on
this bear thing now.
The claws are the real kicker for me.
Get your hands on you. Rip it up.
How much is too much
of a height difference in a relationship?
It's never.
It's never too much.
Come on.
What if she's a foot taller than you?
Can't have that.
He's like, now we're talking.
I'm a quad not my win.
Who would win in a fight?
Allen Iverson or Yao Ming?
Oh, Allen Iverson.
Cause he fast.
He probably like take his knees out.
I'm with you on that one.
I think AI is too sly.
I know, but I do believe Yao Ming is like 400 pounds now.
Yeah.
And guess what?
That ACL is begging to break.
Yeah.
He's like 700. Yeah. Cause he's like put on, you know, he's not in begging to break. He's like 7 foot... 400?
Yeah, because he's not in great shape
anymore, so he's put on some pounds.
He's like 7 foot 8 fucking
400 pounds.
I think I could take Yao Ming
in a fight. You could not.
I genuinely believe that. I think I could beat up Yao Ming.
Because guess what? I'm just...
Alright, hypothetical for you. Do you think
him versus Yao Ming?
Yao Ming.
No, dude.
Yao Ming's knees are begging to break.
All Yao Ming.
Yeah, but the reach.
Yeah, you won't even get to his knees.
The claws.
The claws.
Dude, I'll just run in circles, get him dizzy,
and then I'll slide in.
Just slide like a baseball slide.
Legs out, bam.
Shattered knees.
Shattered, Andrew.
Let's see.
If someone texted you a picture of your dick, no context, would you know that it's your dick?
No.
You got a nonddescript dick huh i've had no idea
that's funny no he gave me he gave us a real thought nope all right last one here oh this
is a tough one would you rather sit down with your parents and watch every sexual encounter you've ever had,
or you got to sit by yourself and watch a sex tape of the night they conceived you?
Oh, that one's grimy.
That one's tough.
That's gross.
Yeah, man.
So it's either you.
But I want their sex tape. Yeah, you gotta. it's either you. But I'm watching their sex tape.
Yeah, you gotta.
You gotta, right?
You can't put your parents through that, and you can't go through that.
You gotta take that one yourself, right?
That's torture.
Yeah, that's torture for two.
There's two people tortured.
You're an honorable son, dude.
You did the right thing there, man.
All right, thanks so much for the time.
Holiday is out.
You got Sneakerheads on, or Holiday's out on what?
October 28th.
And Sneakerheads is out on Netflix.
So we appreciate the time, man.
Thanks so much.
Thank you.
Thank you, man.
All right. Emotions are pouring out of me I bring them to the life
It's only life
This is the soundtrack to my life
The soundtrack to my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life
To my life To my life To my life Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.