KFC Radio - Chris D'Elia, Rhett & Link Return, and Top Five Tuesday

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Don't forget to Subscribe, Rate 5 Stars, and Leave a Review with what Top 5 categories you'd like us to do! Today we kick off the episode with a little bit of Easter talk before we get to our interview with long awaited guest, Chris D'Elia. We talk with Chris about his latest stand up special No Pain, what it was like to unexpectedly work with Eminem, and some upcoming projects that he's excited about. No Pain available on Netflix now and make sure to check out Answer the Internet with Chris at 9PM tonight (4/14). We then continue a conversation we started with Chris about a viral tweet: Is it gay for a man to order dessert on a date? Followed by today's Top 5 List, who are the top five actors you were surprised to find out were actually British? We then get into our voicemails which include sex interruptions and new girlfriend on lockdown. We finish off our episode with the return of Rhett & Link. We discuss adapting shows to the quarantine, keeping in touch with more people than we normally would, and everyone's strange new addiction to doing puzzles during quarantine. Get at us and let us know what your favorite parts of the episode were on twitter/instagram: @kfcradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Podcast Network. Here we are back once again. This is our Easter edition, Easter Tuesday. This is the best Easter ever because it didn't even really happen. Easter stinks. You're not an Easter guy? I feel like you're a fake Catholic. I figured you were an Easter guy. Well, I mean, I just go back and forth

depending on whether I want to be the Gentile at Barstool and be pro-Catholic or whether I want to be a man of reason and make fun of it. Easter sucks. I choose my arguments based on what I think in the moment. 100%.

Which way is the wind blowing? Okie dokie. That sounds good to me. 100% with you. 100% in that boat with you. I feel like you're an Easter guy because you get to put on beautiful dresses and you're the belle of the boat. Kinda. I like Easter.

I don't go to mass. That is one of the most freeing moments of an adult life is when. You stop going to church. You realize that like, it was, I think I did it in my one thing I learned about when I didn't go to school on Mondays. And like, I had this aha moment where I was like, I can just not go. Stop. I'll be honest. I still feel like the pressure. Dude, I still feel the pressure. I was live streaming with

a buddy the other day who was telling me that he was going to watch church. We were streaming Saturday night and he's like, I'm going to watch Mass tomorrow. He's like, we need to watch Mass tomorrow. I feel the guilt about it. I'm glad I don't have that part of the brain.

I don't feel guilt about church. I feel guilt about my mom, like my family. No, this is a married adult man with a child. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you want to tell me that your mom is like, come on, honey, let's go to fucking church. It's like, all right, I'm going to make my mom happy. If you tell me that you feel guilty about Jesus, are you watching? That's fucking – I'm at a crossroads a little bit with the kids i don't know whether like i mean again i don't feel

guilty but i'm like uh and i did ccd i did all the sacraments like am i gonna do that with them or am i just gonna say i also faked it so like my confirmation was all just sure it was i mean i'm not saying i came out of it a biblical scholar but i did i came out like a sinner i came out like like i forged all of you know i used to do community service for for your confirmation just totally made up 100 so 100%. I faked it on that one. I can't imagine I'm going to make anyone else fake it if I bring a child into this world. I mean, I actually just...

I mean, I had some friends in CCD and shit like that, but I remember I got so fucked because I moved three times in 5th, 6th, and 7th grade and each time I moved to a new place, they were one year later. So like the place I was living, I would have got confirmed in fifth grade. And I moved to a place that was sixth.

Fifth grade confirmation? Yeah. It was early. I didn't confirm until like junior year of high school. No. The latest I was, I think it was like seventh grade. But there would have been one that was like going into sixth. then i moved and it became sixth and i moved and it became seventh and i just had to keep fucking going i think i was a year late i believe i believe i did in my

junior high school i think i was a year maybe it was my sophomore year high school but i had changed high school so that was why i was late but it definitely would have been crazy no matter what did did you uh did you do like ccd did you – because you were at a Catholic school, you were like doing that? No, because all the way up until then I'd been at public school. So I did CCD my whole life basically. I only went to Catholic school for high school. What did – did you guys call it Central City Dump? No.

Just CCD. That was the big one. The only interesting thing I ever learned in CCD was what a fucking – what do you call it when a girl farts out of her pussy? Oh, really? You're going to make me say it? Yeah. What is it? You know what it is.

No, I swear to God I don't. It's queen with an F. Queef. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. My CCD teacher taught me what a queef was. That was it.

It was like – were your CCD teachers all like young people queef was. That was it. Were your CCD teachers all young people? It was just a girl who was fucking around. Not young enough to be talking about queefing. She was fucking hot. She was usually in high school. I was in sixth grade. She was hot.

She was like, yeah, girls probably are their pussies. I was like, what? There's still a few words that really get me. I've come around on cunt. I feel like even as of a couple years ago, I would be like the C word. Twat really gets me bad. I don't like that word. Twat's got some stank on it.

Yeah, and like literally, and so does queef. It's like, oh. Yeah, I can see those. That makes sense. I mean, they're all from the same family tree. It's all like really derogatory words revolving around your pussy. Yeah, anything with a vagina kind of greets me out a little bit.

Let's talk about some cock though, man. Yo, how about this? This is a real tangent we've gone on here from Easter. This was supposed to be the Easter discussion. I was reading a Reddit thread the other day about what happens if you die on your period. And Mortician's going to pull that shit out. Yo. See, this is the problem, by the way, with the internet. People talk about the internet and what was that original term?

The information superhighway and all you can learn and stuff. It's like, yeah, you could be learning multiple languages and scientific theorems and shit. What we're learning about? What happens when you die with your pussy bleeding? Fucking, I mean, that's not necessary. We don't need to learn those things at all. Imagine you're a fucking mortician

and you find a chick who, you don't personally find her, but she ends up, or maybe you personally find her. I don't know. I don't know what morticians do in their free time but the uh she comes on like sir we found a dead body she's been dead for two weeks looks like she was menstruating and you gotta fucking pull a two week old fucking fucking tampon okay okay chimney fucking cricket we are way off target here. Anyway, I do enjoy Easter. Nice.

I do enjoy a good pastel fucking blazer. So, yeah, I like Easter. Easter sucks. It's the worst of all holidays. Any holiday where the religion still takes a front seat. Like Christmas is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Jesus was born, whatever. Trees, Santa, presents, yeahanta presents yeah yeah easter is still all about motherfucking raise rising from the dead that's way too much for me way too much i mean like

i really got a shock of of when when we were doing uh when when a week ago when corona people were still getting together for church and they were all pulling out of the driveway going, I am bathed in the blood of Jesus. I was like, that's so far-fetched. There's a lot of shit in religion that we let slide. But for people to be running around saying I'm covered in his blood, that feels like a cult to me. Yet it's still very mainstream to be like, today is the anniversary of that guy coming back to life. I mean, very mainstream is really underselling it, Kevin. It is one of the bigger holidays.

I mean, it's, yeah. Like when we talk about the big picture of religion of like, be good to each other and all that shit. Yeah, that makes sense. But for the main mainstream, one of the two main days to be like this is resurrection and he rolled out of the tomb fucking crazy that we have billions of people believing this shit yeah that's a lot of the humans we are idiots so that's why today is actually a perfect episode for the guests that we have because i know he believes that humanity is as stupid as can be. Finally, a big guest,

one of our white whales I've been tracking down for a while, Chris D'Elia is finally on the show. And actually, we're just going to get right into it right now. I'm not going to keep you waiting. Chris D'Elia is brought to you by a little Miller Lite. Hey, now. Because, you know, Miller Lite's all about. That's a good open right there. You know what? It's because I'm a grown man and I know how to do it.

Every time. Won't struggle even for one second, John. So we're going to sit down with Chris and we're going to talk to him because that's what you do. You open up a Miller Lite and you chat with your buddies about the good stuff, the bad stuff. You catch up on a Zoom. You find out what's going on in their life.

We had a tailgate this weekend, me and my buddies at Miller Lights. Did you? Yeah, we tailgated the Farm Aid concert with Dave Matthews. I like that. And a couple others. So that's what you got to start doing. It's like happy hour was one thing, virtual happy hour. Now you got to have virtual tailgates and maybe virtual drinking games and virtual – you know what you need to do?

Oh, that's what you need to do. Guys need to have like the – the virtual aspect has me rethinking the list of best beers. We always talk about like the best beer after you work, the beer after you do your law and all that shit. We need the virtual sneak out beer. So like it's Easter and everyone's like at the house maybe. And you run into like the back bedroom with your Zoom on your phone. And you're just like, yo, dude, what's going on? I got one beer in me.

I got to chug it down right here. Or even that. Like I used to meet up with guys at Grand Central before we would go home. And they'd have time for one beer and they would aggressively drink it. They'd be like, I got to get home before, you know, like before bedtime for the kids. So I want to have the virtual after work beer. So I'm just going to, I'm just going to zoom my friend at like 545 and we have 15 minutes. Just put down a Miller Lite and all of a sudden we're done because all the different types of beers there are now. You know, maybe you can't have the beach beer and the, you know, tailgate beer, but you can have it in all sorts of different ways.

So pop on your Zoom, grab a box, answer the Internet, open up a Miller Lite and share the new versions of your best beers. Because quarantine beers, that's that's there on the list. In a time where you're not you can't find much happiness, there's not much to do, quarantine beers are certainly at the top of the list. And anytime you're drinking a beer, Miller Lite is numero uno. It's brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin from Miller Brewing Company, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Make sure you celebrate responsibly.

You can get it delivered right to your door with no contact delivery. So Miller Lite will now just magically appear at your doorstep. Crack one open and enjoy Chris D'Elia on KFC Radio. So all right, KFC Radio, we finally got Chris D'Elia, who we've been trying to track down for a couple of years. And I feel like quarantine kind of made it happen because it was like, ah, we'll just do it over the computer now. So I guess there's some good to come out of it. It's good. Yeah. It's funny.

I don't like to leave my house. But now that the quarantine thing has happened, all I want to do is get out of my house. All right. Are you itching? I was saying that the other day. I've learned that my fetish, my sickness, I don't like doing nothing. I like not doing other things. I like how you phrased that. That's good. I don't like doing nothing. I like not doing other things. I like how you phrased that. That's good.

I don't like watching Netflix. I like procrastinating and not going outside and doing the things I'm supposed to be doing. Very interesting. That being one of the first things you told me about yourself is very telling. And honestly, probably all I need to know. And you're my type of guy. You're my type of guy. That's good. So what? You're the opposite. You always just hang out. But now that you're forced to, you're like, just let me get out. I want to go out.

I want to go out. I can't say I don't like to leave the house. I like to go. I like to be among people, but not with the people. You know what I'm saying? Very much. My stand-up is so great for me because I'm among the people, but I'm not in any of the groups.

I'm alone on stage, and they're in the groups. Yeah. In fact, that's another thing we were recently talking about. That's why I miss bars because being at a bar, you can be alone,

but you're still not alone. I can just be sitting there quietly with a friend maybe or quietly alone, and there's still plenty actually going around and plenty of stuff happening, but I've just not, I don't feel isolated. I want to be the guy.

I don't, I want to be the guy at the bar. That's like in the back of the bar with my back towards everybody. And then when they mentioned something mysterious, I turn around and I start talking about it. You weren't there back when it first happened. I remember those days. Yeah.

It's been, business has been good for you, huh, man? I mean, yeah, season two was a, was a hit.

Obviously the comedy thing has been popping. So, I mean, you've been doing this for a long time now, right? Yeah. It's weird to say that, that I've been doing it for a long time because it still feels like,

you know, when I was, when I was, it's been 14 years. I think it'll be, yeah, 14 and a half years. And it's just a weird thing to think about. I remember when I was the new guy. I think it's like, it's kind of like being young. I mean, you guys are probably young. You're younger than me, but like I still feel like a young guy, but I just turned 40. So like, I mean, yeah, I'm young as it pertains to your whole life.

But I talked to my dad the other day and he's 72. And he's like, yeah, I still feel like a young guy. I still feel like I'm new in this comedy, in the standup business, but I'm not really. The comedy world is a weird one because it's, you know, in sports, it's like you run through your prime and you can't play anymore. You retire. Comedy, yeah, I'm sure you have a prime of some sorts, but you can do it for fucking ever.

I feel like guys who are really hit, I feel like guys really hit their prime when they're in their 50s. You know, you look at the guys who are really doing it right now that are in their 50s. Joe, you know, Joe Rogan, Bill Burr, not Brian Callen, but these guys, they're in their 50s and they're killing it and it's their best time. And I think that guys like that as long as they stay in the clubs and not become a touring theater act,

you stay relevant and you stay good because you gotta go against guys. You gotta go, not against, but you got to follow guys that are coming up and current and in the new scene of comedy that you might lose touch with if you don't constantly check in and pop into the comedy store and stuff like that. You think it's better? I think I've heard that it was a knock on like Eddie Murphy where once he popped off, it was like he couldn't relate anymore.

I don't know, but I can imagine that that... I always joke on my podcast that that's my fucking goal, dude, is to look at another... I remember this was years ago now, but Curb Your Enthusiasm...

Jesus, his name is escaping me like an idiot. Larry David? Larry David. Fucking, I'm going to burn in hell for that. But Larry David, I introduced myself to him and, you know, of course I'm not even close to as big as Larry David,

but he, I had no idea who I was. And I was like, that's my goal is to be that big and unaware of who's got Netflix specials. That's amazing. That's who made it. That is a Netflix special. Are you about to lose touch with us? I hope this is the one.

Yeah. I mean, see you never, dude. Thanks for the time. I hope I see you guys in like three months and I'm just like, I'm sorry. I just don't remember who. Now, was it weird for you to – I mean, how long ago was Whitney? That was a while ago, right? Yeah.

I mean, I feel like if you told me now that Chris D'Elia and Whitney Cummings were doing a show together, it would be like, Holy fucking shit. Stop the presses. And back then was that, was it just like a little too soon? You think, or like when you were, it was,

I was 30. So it was 10 years ago, Jesus Christ. And, um, it was 10 years ago and no, you know, people didn't know who we were.

And I remember that show was, uh, promoted everywhere, you know? And, know and uh and that and my first special came out at on the in like the same year and then the next year like social media became a thing for me and i was like oh i gotta get on the social media train all those things kind of like aligned and helped me you know kind of get a fan base did you feel like you had like made it when that show started or were you still like this is just the beginning i'm starting to get that question when do you feel like you made it and i always say i'll let you know i don't

i don't i don't i don't feel like i made it yet and i think that that's a good feeling to have though i i feel like if you feel like you made it maybe that's the beginning of losing touch i just as a comedian you just can't lose touch you can't like you got it you got it you can't you know but you know some comedians get so big and they're just so famous and and they are able to remain grounded uh and some i guess aren't i don't know but that's that's some tom brady shit people ask tom Brady, what's your favorite ring? He says the next one. Ah, fuck off, Tom Brady.

Fuck off. But it's also such a weird industry where it's like, you know, how could you think you made it when there's like a Chappelle and a Rock and there's always some megastars ahead of you. I mean, I think that there's very few guys that kind of become as big as Chappelle or Chris Rock and are still – it still feels like they have stuff that they didn't do yet. Like, ooh, you know, they're still the cool guy to like. And that's a hard thing to pull off, you know. I mean, it's very easy for people to like all right

another special from this guy who gives a shit but those guys you know those two and a few more are are just they have that factor i don't know what it is that there's just something more to say do you think the factor is and this is kind of probably kind of a chicken or the egg thing where it's like why you need to hear everything they have to say is because they're not on social media and like they don't have podcasts. Yeah. I do think that that does help it. I mean,

I don't think that's all it is, but I do think that that does help it. Like, but for guys like me, I mean, I think most of the comedians are using social media to be, to become that guy, but they were already huge.

And it was like, I don't have to get on this. I'm, I'm big enough. And then it's kind of added to the allure like they don't do anything it's crazy whenever they need to hear it i think you have to have a little bit of mystery about you to be that guy and it's really hard for a comedian to have that kind of mystery because the comedian is supposed to just lay it all out there on stage

you know what i like from you that i feel like gives you a little level of that is having no guests on the podcast. Yeah, that was honestly out of me not wanting to have to rely on people coming. And I also get – there's like a few guys in my circle that I can do bits with and I feel like they add to it and I add to theirs. You know, you have like a – like you guys have it together. But but like you know so you mesh with some people so you don't and it's like you know after 10 of my friends coming on the podcast I don't know who would be next and I think that it's fun to like make up these bits and do silly shit and I can't do that with if I have who on some actor on the show that I don't know you know some guy from NCIS I can't do that with if I have who some actor on the show that I don't know

some guy from NCIS I don't know what I'm going to do if we're taking on the NCIS guests we got to change course we got to do something different we've already got to change course they're the fucking right

that was actually a joke in the show Whitney when she made a joke she said, all you do is watch NCIS and I added it's the number one show on television.

That's so funny that you said that. That was a joke we did in Whitney. It is. I don't watch it, but when people are like, oh, who cares? Apparently everybody cares. Yeah, everybody. I know. That has been a big bang.

Before we hopped on here, we were just talking about the latest stupid fucking thing on social media of the day, which I feel like you're pretty plugged into. But the latest that went viral was that it's gay to order dessert. That was today. Was that today? Was it today? Yesterday. We talked about it today.

But yeah, I just I just saw that like a few hours ago. Yeah. On Twitter or something. Yes. She said she said if you order dessert, it's a red flag. And that men are supposed to eat meals with no appetizers and no dessert. And if you do that, she starts to question your masculinity. If you order an appetizer and dessert?

Yeah. I mean, that's like so 1930s to think that way. Like to be like for men to like not eat. That's like remember in The Sanos when the um when they were like when they had that whole thing where it was like yeah i i go down on you i i eat pussy but i don't want guys to know because that's gay yeah no it's not it's so manly to do that and it's so manly to eat the most food so she said she said i would rather order my man order two main entrees and get all his food that way than get an appetizer and a dessert. Imagine if it was reverse and the guy was like, no, a girl orders a fucking salad.

Yeah. You know what? We should do a little social experiment. That's what I'm going to tweet out. If you order an appetizer and a meal, you're a fat bitch done. Yeah. and a meal, you're a fat bitch done. If I went on Twitter and I said, if you're a girl and you're on a date, you order a fucking salad.

If I said that on Twitter, that's it. Over. I was saying, I agree with her to an extent. There are dainty aspects to the dessert. If you were to name one aspect, one course of the meal, the feminine course, the dessert is the one you're going to say.

Now, don't get me wrong. I eat the hell out of it. I'll eat it. All right. Okay, yeah, sure. Yes. Comedically, that's funny. Yeah, it's funny.

Yeah, yeah. No, okay, sure. Yeah. I guess, like, to think about Jason Statham in an action movie being like, yeah, I'll have to tear my suit. It's like not. Yeah. With the little raspberry drizzle. Like, we get it.

We get it. What would you say has been like your biggest social media moment as a, I mean, you still obviously think of yourself as a comedian, right? Like comedian first, actor second. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I i mean i'm doing more roles now and stuff and i uh but but yeah i i think comedian is where my heart is yeah i feel like the eminem shit was just wild though yeah that was bonkers man i mean um i was just talking to somebody about this, but it's like the, the goal is as a comedian to get your own TV show or to get the special or to sell out a tour or whatever it is. And those are all the things that when they happen, it's amazing,

but it's the goal in the back of your head. Some part of you is thinking I'm going to be able to do this and I'm going to accomplish this, accomplish this, but stuff like hey eminem called and wants you to be in his music video and play him and not only that he wants to play you uh is not the goal because you would be a crazy person if you i was like yeah i'm gonna do stand-up because one day i'm gonna play eminem in a video right right that stuff is always the extra special stuff that hits you, that blindsides you and is just like, just so special, man. Yeah, that, I mean.

You know what it is? It's the dessert. I feel like just like if you just didn't say the word Patkins, like who knows? You know what I mean? Like, the littlest butterfly effect and the littlest thing can change course and everything. I mean, I did that on my drive-thru.

I don't know if I was waiting for like my girlfriend or something. I mean, this was however, this was three, at least three years ago

at this point. Was it? That I did the video, yeah, because I wasn't even in, I wasn't in this, I was in another house and I have been living in this house for shit.

Yeah. Um, I was in my driveway of my other, my old house. Yeah. Yeah. I know it was though. It must've been.

So, um, and it, and it got, I put it on, on Instagram and I was just like, whatever. I think his album came out and,

and, uh, I was like, maybe this will get some traction. Cause people were talking about Eminem for something earlier in the week. And then it, it got a lot of traction people. And then like a month or two later, uh, black Twitter ran with it.

And they were like, this dude says, this is how Eminem raps. And then it got really big and then uh eminem retweeted my buddy hit me up and he wrote bro eminem and i and i was like what are you talking about i texted him and he was like he tweeted about you and i was like and i looked and i was like i mean you know i was just insane it was like what yeah i mean he's the type of guy like he's kind of like uh the Chappelle's of the world.

Like, you don't hear from him much. He's pretty reclusive for him to like pick that and come out of like hiding basically. Yeah. That's fucking wild. You know, in my head, I was like, to me, it's what makes him one of the best. It's like, he just, he can poke fun at himself. There's so many rappers that are just like – I mean, they don't – rappers are not known to have a sense of humor.

Right. So when they do, it's great. Yeah, they're hyper-masculine. They don't order dessert. Eminem ain't ordering the fucking cheesecake, no way. I mean, in a way, it's kind of the polar opposite of comedy like there's no self-deprecation you're never clowning yourself you're always lining the opposite you're saying how big you are and like tough you are so the fact that he came down and

did that is pretty fucking wild you said at the start of that that like the uh something that kind of caught my ear was you were like you know the the dream is still is a, is a, have your own show. Is that still like a dream? Like, like, it's not the goal. I don't think it's the goal even for a lot of comedians anymore. I think the goal is to have a successful following and you don't, you know, in the nineties, you needed a TV show for that. You know, talk about Seinfeld, you talk about King of Queens, you know, this kind of stuff. You needed that. And you, you talk about King of Queens, you know, this kind of stuff.

You needed that. And you don't now. As a matter of fact, more people watch a lot of our podcasts than shows on certain networks. So, you know, that's the goal. Yeah, I think there was a time where people a couple years ago would say, like, I don't even want a TV show. And they were kind of like, but if you offered me one,

I would definitely take it. Now I think it's getting to the point where it might not be the best use of your time because there's other ways to make money and build your following. I would not do a TV show right now, unless it was either my idea that I wanted to do or something that was really interesting for me. Like, but to be,

to take a role on a sitcom, I just would not do that. What about writing it? Yeah. Or the bag was fucking huge. Yeah. Honestly, you know,

you make more money on the road. You make more money on the road. You make more money on a lot on the podcast, man. Like it's just, you don't TV money is not the, not the bag anymore. Unless,

unless you write it and produce it as well, which I'm, I'm developing something now. I got two things that I'm developing. And if either of those go, I would be, it would, that would just be so fun.

Any, any more insight on that or you can't, you're not talking about it yet? I can't, but you guys are going to love it. I mean, I feel like whatever it is will be a success. I've been wanting to do something like this for quite some time. And I think that especially like your fan base, your guys', I think that you'll be really excited about it.

So the new special's out now, No Pain. Yeah. How many Netflix specials have you done now? This is my third Netflix special that I dropped. Well, that wasn't really a special, but that Comedians of the World thing. Right, right, right. And then my first special was on Comedy Central. Is there any level of, like, I feel like getting the Netflix special is

a first goal, but when Tarantzi, like your third, I mean, are you going to do theoretically like seven, eight, nine, or is there some sort of like cutoff where eventually it's not like diminishing return? No, I don't know. You know, I mean, the goal is always

to, you know, it's great that I know my fans are going to watch it, but that first week of it's on the homepage, people are going to be like, oh, yeah, this is the guy from You or whatever. Let's see what he's talking about. Those are the people that I'm trying to get. And I'm still – I mean I'm really fortunate. I'm able to pack shows, but there's always bigger venues so I want those people too um I mean you could be like a Brian Callen you know what I mean it could be worse right it could be worse yeah uh but no he no I I just feel like uh you know I I do stand up for me I like to

you know uh make specials because it's it's like a marker in my life you know, uh, make specials because it's, it's like a marker in my life, you know? Uh, and, um, so it's, so it's, so I don't know how many I'll do,

but, uh, you know, I think every two years or so it's been for me. And that, that seems good for now, you know, is that shit that gets negotiated.

You mentioned how it'll be on the front page. Are you like, I want a week on the front page or is Netflix like, no, that's just, uh, they, that's just always household by household. Like if somebody watched, I think if somebody watched you

and also another Netflix movie I did called Little Evil, then my thing would be suggested to them. You know what I mean? Did you play a pedophile on that one too? Because you went on a hot streak there, bro. No, there's two pedophiles. Yeah, two pedophiles. Are you, was there a part of you deep down in places maybe you wouldn't admit that's like hey it's pretty good to have a special

coming out in the middle of quarantine oh yeah man i mean you know i i of course i wish that this wasn't happening but i guess that's some some of the silver lining of it. I mean, people have to be home. So I guess I kind of lucked out in that way. I mean, I hate to say, of course, I hate what's happening in the world, but if there was one time for people to be home. Not too bad. Silver lining, like you said. So, yeah, the new special is on Netflix now.

You can see it, No Pain, and be on the lookout for whatever this big project is because I think Chris is right. I think it's going to be right up our fans' alley. So we appreciate it. Man, thanks so much. Thank you, man. It's nice to finally talk to you guys. Yeah, man. It's been a long time coming.

So very happy to finally do it. Big thanks to Chris D'Elia for coming on. That interview was brought to you by Roman. Roman swipes are clinically proven to help you last longer in bed. They have finally scientifically figured out a way to figure out man's greatest struggle. I mean, honestly, if you think about it, if when we were born, if we were just told, like, as a little kid, like, hey, son, you don't have to worry about lasting long. They've made a product that's going to fix this for you. I probably would have grown up with so much less anxiety.

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It's one of the more insulting questions I've ever heard in my life. And I got big thoughts on this one. Humongous thoughts, Kevin. I mean, enormous thoughts, especially, you know, coming from me, fucking, you know, king of the fat, skinny fat bloggers. Dessert is near and dear to my heart. And Feidelberg just put up a blog today with a viral tweet from this chick, Miss Aquafina was her name on Twitter. And she said one of the most offensive things I think I've ever read on the bird. A guy ordering dessert on a date is a red flag for me. That's a female thing to do for real. If a guy's on a date with

a woman, the woman should be the only one asking for appetizers and dessert. Men eat meals, capital meals. Like seriously, you can just taste some of whatever I ordered. I would seriously rather date an N-word or I would rather an n-word order two meals than order an appetizer before his meals if you're that damn hungry you look sassy ordering the spinach dip i can just hear wallow being like you guys ordered you guys ordered spinach artichoke dip you spicy i mean look here's here's a there's a lot to unpack here i got a feeling you're going to say you agree with her. Objectively, she's right. Get out of here! Get out of here!

Look, look, look. A dessert is a dainty thing. It comes out on a small little dish. You eat it with a small little spoon. You put it in the middle of the table. Everyone has a try like your fucking girlfriend. And everyone's just, everyone's tasting it. They put a little fruit on there, maybe like a single blueberry and a raspberry with a drizzle right

little drizzle they're dainty there's no doubt about it now if i want a dessert i'm gonna get dainty with it i don't give a shit but there there are certain aspects to what she's saying that i don't disagree with there the dessert is a rather feminine. If you had to put one part of the meal that was feminine, it would hurt. For sure. But dead last would be the appetizer. I mean, I guess if you're including salad, that's dainty. But to me, appetizers are wings, mozzarella sticks, potato skins. They're the most bar food there is.

Yeah, she's dead wrong on the appetizers. Dead wrong. And she says in it, she's like, men there is. Yeah, she's dead wrong on the appetizers. Dead wrong. And she says in it, she's like men order meals. Yeah, I know. That's why I get fucking four of them every time I sit down. I get three appetizers, three or four appetizers. Usually the fourth one I'm just like why did I even want a fucking bruschetta? I don't even like this.

Especially when you have it like delivered. You ever get bruschetta takeout? It's like this is just like hunks of bread that are like now stale but they're not supposed terrible idea but you you yeah you're a fucking the more food you order is like the more manly and when it's like i need my pre-meal before my meal i feel like is is not dainty at all no and when i sit down for a meal i'm'm ravenous. I forget to eat. I haven't eaten yet today. It's 4-4, 4-17. I forget to eat all the time.

I just don't eat. And so when I finally sit down, I'm like a little feral kid found in the German woods who's just like, that's why I have such bad heartburn. You're like that little girl in that movie, the 15th Wolverine movie, Logan. You ever watch that movie? Where she just eats and kills and that's it right see the like i i sit down at a meal i dump hot sauce all over it i inhale it and then the rest of that i go boy i got bad heartburn you idiot no kidding you got heartburn you know i know i wonder why you possibly have digestive issues, you dumb fuck. But the – so like I 100% get all that.

So I'm very much pro appetizer. But the fucking – the dessert's a little gay. The dessert's a little gay. Let's just say it. I mean, come on. Yeah. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Get your sorbet, Rick.

Enjoy it, fucking gay boy. Yeah. I mean, yes, when you break open the shell and the goo falls out. Yeah, you get a little clap to my dessert. Yeah, there's a lot of dipping involved. There's a lot of salt, wet you know wet involved it's i get it but also this is by the way getting it the fact that we both even get this that eating a cheesecake is for homos it shows that it shows how difficult life is as a heterosexual male in the 20s yeah everyone goes on starting like your first day of kindergarten wondering if you put on a shirt you like until you're 31 years old wondering what kind of desserts you like. You're just constantly in fear that enjoying this thing makes you a homosexual.

Right. Exactly. I mean, I got enough trouble as it is. I got enough things to worry about. You hop in the radio, you hear a fucking boy band tune, and you got to pretend you don't like it. I have a whole list of songs that I call my guilty pleasures. You hop in the radio, you hear a fucking boy band tune, and you got to pretend you don't like it. I have a whole list of songs that I call my guilty pleasures. I don't feel guilty about one of them.

I got to worry about my clothes. I got to worry about my music. Don't even get me started on what I prefer in the bedroom. That's a whole fucking host of issues. I might just be a straight-up gay man. And now all of a sudden I can't eat dessert without being a fucking f-word? Yeah, it's so hard being a man. You fucking, you like see-through shirts, and you like gay music,

and you like getting fucked in the ass, all of a sudden, I'm gay. Okay. Let's roll a little anal penetration and chocolate cake, alright? What's the fucking issue? Here I am, just trying to be a guy kissing dudes. Yeah, sure, maybe I'm at dinner wearing a thong and some underwire. And yeah, maybe I want to eat the chocolate malting cake,

but I'm a fucking straight dude, okay? I like to start every Sunday by putting a donut on my boyfriend's dick, then eating it off, and all of a sudden I'm a homo. Oh my god. You suck one dick and one tiramisu, and next thing you know you're bi-curious.

Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine. Since when did the taste of cum on your cake make you gay i i i don't know uh this is one thing that i'm not really sure where the where what was the response what were girls saying because has this been something girls guys were like come on lady okay because i'm wondering I'm wondering if this is a prevalent thing. Usually I know – we have enough female listeners and we're plugged in enough that I can usually tell you what girls are going to think. The masses, stereotypically. But if this is something that's been going on at all the girl meetings, if they've been sitting around going, can you believe these faggots are ordering dessert?

Then I'll tell you what i've been doing it wrong for like 20 years because every time i go out i'm like i'll take a look at the menu yeah oh you don't want something let's just order both and maybe we'll pick at it i can't believe she said i see that that because because girls it is feel it feels like it is women typically like yeah we'll take the menu because every time someone it's never. And I shoot fucking death rays at whoever is like, yeah. Because it's been – I've talked about this a million times. I'm a – I mean eat dinner and get the fuck out of here. I'll go to the bar in that restaurant. I just do not want to be in my seat anymore.

I'm with you on that. But I also sometimes part of like finishing that meal to me is fucking – I mean I'm not going to go out to dinner with you and get a dessert, but if I go out to dinner with my girl, especially if it's like a birthday dinner or an occasion, I also like the espresso martini, so usually that's like a dessert thing. But to me, I'm

usually... If it's a nice restaurant and I think they have some bomb dessert, I'm going to take a look. I'm going to be like, let me take a look at that menu. And for the past 20 years, every time I do that, girls have been like, let me text my roommate under the table. Like, can you believe he's ordering a fucking cheesecake with the raspberry? I just can't stop attracting gay guys. Samantha, it happened again.

Can you believe this? He got a chocolate chip cookie with ice cream on it. He got a Mississippi mud pie cake. It's unbelievable. You know what? That's the other thing. The names certainly do sound pretty gay. Oh, Mississippi mud pie is a fire cake.

Mississippi mud pie sounds like you're butt fucking a hillbilly man. So I gave him the Mississippi mud mud pie and you know it went wrong uh but boy if if dessert makes you gay i am fucking liberace man i am watch out so uh fuck off miss miss miss aquafina i can't believe she says by the way i think the gayest thing of all because it's the biggest chick move is to have a bite of what you're having. Oh, that's the word. I forgot about that part. This same girl who won't let me order a cheesecake is not going to judge me if I lean over and say, can I just have a little bit of yours? Yeah, you're fucking right.

That's not how ordering food works, ladies. You order your food. I'll order my food. Look, if I love it, I'll say, hey, would you like a taste? But it's not carte blanche. You don't have the ability to reach over the table.'ll share it with you if i if i deem it necessary if i deem you you worthy or the food worthy but you can't just be like oh no i'll just pick it some of yours no you won't it's mine and like i would rather you just order it and fucking

not eat it than the opposite. You know what I mean? That's such an interesting look into like the female psyche because they don't order the food even when they're hungry because they don't want to look fat. Whereas guys will be like, oh, I guess I'm worried about looking gay, but fucking. Yeah, let's go. Bring me that rice pudding. Let me try that real quick. Mm-hmm. I'm going to eat that bitch too.

Now, rice pudding is just like you're eating a bowl of cum. I get it. That one's pretty fucking good. Yeah, rice pudding is just like you're eating a bowl of cum. I get it. That one's pretty fucking good. Yeah, but it's so good. So good. I mean, what we're learning here, and the gays are probably sitting around laughing all the way to the bank. They're like, yeah, we've been eating dessert and stimulating the fucking prostate our whole lives. This shit is great.

You fucking straights don't know what you're doing. Goodness gracious, everything's gay these days. I mean, at what point does everything just become, everything's just gay and you're just know what you're doing. Goodness gracious. Everything's gay these days. I mean, at one point, does everything just become, everything's just gay and you're just lame if you're straight. I think it's pretty, I think it's pretty lame to be straight right now.

Oh, it's super lame to be straight. Right? So like, can you imagine like 20 more years from now? So like, you fuck pussy. Yeah.

I mean, like, don't get me wrong. It's nice to like not be oppressed and I can get any job I want and shit like that. That's old hat. Give it two more decades. That ain't gonna be happening. I, I mean, like, don't get me wrong. It's nice to, like, not be oppressed and not get any job I want and shit like that. That's old hat. Give it two more decades. That ain't going to be happening. In a couple of decades.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, like, I mean, you could still – you still pop down below the Mason-Dixon line. You go – Well, yeah. You go to get a job with a little stank on your resume, and guess what? They're going to be like, this guy's homosexual. He's not working here.

Yeah, I mean, sure you but in social situations boring as fuck yeah big time big time like and you know what else is crazy why are the gays in unbelievable shape what's that about um i think i actually heard a comedian do a joke about this once a long, long, long time ago. I remember I was at a hockey tournament. I was just in my hotel watching late-night comedy. And he said something to the effect of, like, every guy in his life has a moment where he's like, am I gay? And most guys say no. Or some guys say no and go about living their lives.

Some guys say yes and go about being gay. Other guys say no and then just start using weights to push it down. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. And then eventually those guys do come out. And they're just in awesome shape. And they're just in awesome shape. And they're just in great shape.

I feel like being gay for so long had enough of like a taboo or like – we were just talking about this a couple weeks ago. Someone else made a joke about how like sex, like gay sex used to be like exciting because it was – who was it? It was a gay guy. Yeah, Louis in his special was like, yeah, it had to be so much more exciting when you had to sneak around or when your family didn't approve of it. And I think part of it is so funny where he's like, how fun is it fucking your husband in your house? Right. And I think that goes hand in hand with being hot, too. I feel like it used to be like, well, we're going to have to go to the club and I got to find a guy there because I can't be open about it in other situations. So I better have my six pack and I better be jacked because when I go to the club, I want him to pick me.

Well, once it becomes mainstream, there's going to be fat gay guys and skinny fat gay guys and all sorts of shit. And it's not going to be the same. I think it's going to we're going to have like a it's going to be too cool. And then it's going to become lame and it's going to be like straights to hotness. So I don't know if I'll be around. I don't know if I'll be around. I don't know if I'll be fuckable by the time being straight is cool. No, but we could come back around and be like, maybe we'll be old and gross, but it'll be like, wow, you heard John? He's fucked pussy his whole life.

Like, that's crazy. He didn't even experiment at all. Being a gold star straight is eventually going to be the cool thing. Like, not even one dick in my whole life. I swear, man. So, yeah, eat your dessert. Do whatever. We're all just becoming one big fucking like it's just we're just converging into like sexual pangea all of a sudden.

Today is Tuesday. So we're going to get into our KFC Radio Tuesday Top Fives. It's brought to you by Death Wish Coffee. Death Wish Coffee has double the amount of caffeine of your regular coffee. So all you pussies who are still trying to go to your, like, craft gourmet place, you're not even getting the real shit anymore. Because Death Wish Coffee is the only way to kickstart that day and make sure you take quarantine by the fucking neck and dominate it.

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Deathwishcoffee.com slash KFC. So last week we were doing our KFC Radio Top Fives with fictional bars. And along the way we mentioned how it's such a mindfuck when you find out that an American actor is, well, when you find out an actor who you thought was American is British, when you hear that accent for the first time. And then you start to learn about a lot more of them. You realize there's a whole bunch. And so today's top five are British actors you thought were American.

You drafted first last time. I'm drafting first today. Son of a bitch. You drafted first last time. I'm drafting first today. Son of a bitch. You better not take mine. Well, I think there are two really good ones off the top. Okay, I think so too. Well, one of them I'm not going to choose. You go, and then we'll just go.

Okay. I'm very torn. I'm torn between the one that personally blew my mind. And I'm also torn between a different actor who not only has the British reveal, but another reveal in them as well. And I'm debating whether I think that my number two pick could slip back to me,

or if you're going to scoop them up. Cause I think the other guy you're going to draft right away. This is such a big decision. And I'm really going to hate if I don't have both these guys on my squad. I'm going to go with the one that I'm being true to myself here. This is the one that blew my mind the most and continues to do so. Now you got me in my head. I'm going to go – no, I'm going to go with the one that really fucked me up.

Damian Lewis. Okay, okay. I had him, but that's not my – that wasn't my one. See, now that makes me fucking afraid that your one was my other one. But Damian Lewis, he's Bobby Axelrod, and he's – what's his name in Homeland? Fuck. It's something stupid. Brody.

Brody. Brody, yeah, his wife called him that last name. Brody in Homeland, and now Bobby Axelrod. I mean, in Homeland, he was, you know, he's the American, he's the soldier, he's the ginger, he's, and then Bobby Axelrod. Now, I already knew watching Billions that he was, but if I didn't know that and I just saw Ax and he's like this New York hedge fund guy, I mean, the guy is, I'm starting to think he's faking it. I don't think he actually is from fucking London. I don't think he's got an accent, but when I found out, when I heard him for

the first time, and I think that's the other thing almost all the other guys on my list I eventually was told but I heard Damian Lewis that's how I found out and I was like what what like is someone is he doing is he doing an accent now is this a bit and then I realized the whole time I thought he was he was this American guy. So that's my first overall pick. And this is tough too, because if you know it, you're not surprised, but you got to remember the first time you found these things out and the Damian Lewis reveal was a monster one. And you can't ever talk about Damian Lewis being a foreigner without mentioning that he gave Obama the greatest letter ever, which was when he gave Obama the Homeland box set,

or maybe it was like a seasonal Homeland that wasn't out yet, whatever it was. And he signed it. I believe it was to Obama from one foreign Muslim to another. So good. So awesome. My number one, quick and easy.

Hugh Lowry. Hugh Lowry. I was, I was Dr. House, I was a big House fan my freshman year at college. All I did was sit in bed and watch House and Scrubs. And I loved Hugh Lowry. And it was the same thing like you just explained. It wasn't told to me. It was I saw him speaking. It was like, what the fuck is that?

Very good one. Also was very high on my list. The only reason I didn't go with him is because I wasn't that big of a house guy. I've seen episodes. I love 13. If I watched it, that would have been the one because I had no idea about that one either. My personality, my freshman

year of college, was 97% based on a mix of Dr. House and Dr. Perry Cox. That was who I was was who's that one the other guy on house he's from scrubs no he's from scrubs and they're both asshole doctors and house is such a cocksucker yeah yeah it's just like just like not necessary to be that rude all the time you know it's like you would probably run a better practice if you were just a little more fucking polite dude jesus christ uh okay so this actually means I do get my top two picks, though,

because this is a double whammy, because not only is he British, but apparently he's gay, Wentworth Miller from Prison Break. Son of a bitch! I was on that one! So I'm so happy he slipped to me, because that one, I don't know which one I found out first, but I was like, this guy has an accent and he fucks dudes, which was almost good news to hear because he is unbelievably attractive to know that that was

just hey i don't ever got to compete with that like as if i ever really would have to anyway but hey me and wentworth miller ever walk in a room together i know that that we're good and i don't have to go toe-to-toe with those baby blue eyes and that shaved head and that fucking jacked body. You know what the difference here is, too, though? What's that? I was surprised to find out the guy from Prison Break is British. I was not surprised to find out that Wentworth Miller is British. I luckily didn't know his name.

Yeah, Wentworth Miller is about as fucking limey as it gets. You're right. So, yeah, that was part of it, too. He's playing this, like, you know, rough and tough dude. You don't think of his, like, tee time with his pinky up. But Wentworth Miller is for sure British. So, all right, your second pick? Second pick.

See, the issue here is, like, I just knew Christian Bale so long ago. Yeah, but that was – I don't even have him in my top five unless I have to have him in my top five. Like, I knew Christian Bale was British. I don't even know when I learned because it was just – I think I learned during his You and I Are Done Professionally rant. Maybe that was it. That was – even that was probably, what, 10 years ago now? Yeah, it's definitely a long time, but I struggled with that as well

because if we did this when I discovered it, it was number one because I remember being like, wait, Batman's British? But it's been so long ago, and I think it's common knowledge now, but that was a good one. It was last year. It was a stunning reveal. Remember last year Twitter went crazy when he was getting excited? What was his movie last year?

Ford vs. Ferrari? rari no no no it was that yeah i forget what it was i forget what you can't yo honestly twitter you can't trust anymore there used to be a time where everyone on twitter we all joined at relatively the same time and so we all were coming up together i mean there are people there are just kids on twitter now we don't know fucking dick about the world. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So is that your pick, though? One of us have to pick them, I'll tell you. Fuck it. Alright, I mean, that is, like, that's an OG. That's probably

an OG. That's probably one of the first I can't believe is British. I think it's just so common to us, but there's probably someone watching right now, listening right now who just learned that, who are like, holy shit. I also think he's done enough he's done some some roles now where he has used his regular voice but i think there was a time where it was like just you know batman and a couple and american psycho and shit where you just had no idea so uh at the time though monster one let me go uh my third overall pick here um this is where we kind of get into it

and this is a new one and i just learned this tom holland tom holland you didn't know that one didn't know that one that's another one where it's like they're so good at it they're so good at it. They're so good at it. It's fucking infuriating. I've just never seen him in any other movies. I know him as Spider-Man, and he does that so well as, like, the American kid. I think the problem is that, like, when you do a Marvel movie now, you also do, like, an insane amount of press, so you're going to see the interviews.

But I didn't see that for a little while. And so like when I, I like close my eyes and think of him, I think of him doing like the Peter Parker voice. Um, I don't want to, I don't want to steal a potential other pick yours, but,

uh, Spider-Man has Andrew Garfield as well. I didn't know Andrew Garfield. I did not know Andrew Garfield, but he's like cheating British. He's not really British. Is he not? Yeah, I just saw him on the list and I was like, does he have an accent? Does he talk like that? No, I don't think

he has an accent. Okay, so this is more like, do you have an accent, really, to be honest? Yeah. I think he was born in America, but then I think he grew up in Britain and moved back here at a young age, I think. I do not believe Andrew Garfield has an accent. I'm like 99% sure. I'll be stunned if Andrew Garfield has an accent. Your third pick? I'm'll be stunned if andrew garfield has an accent your third pick um i'm gonna go dominic west who's that because i think

what's his face from uh the wire right right the other one uh yeah yeah yeah i honestly don't think it was that was like a very recent reveal for me that You know what I think is funny about him? Once you know, I think he does a bad American accent. Really? Yeah. I feel like when I was watching The Affair, I could tell that he was trying to speak American. See, I think it's impossible to do a bad American accent because there isn't no American accent. There's so many.

You could just be like, oh, no, he's from Delaware. Oh, I didn't know people from Delaware talked like like that right that's true that is true i just feel like you could see that he was like trying to do something with his voice like it was like you're not like talking naturally but that also might be like me you know like chicken or the egg sort of thing here does a bad one too i heard he doesn't like i heard his accent in houses not good which stumms me as well i'm like i don't know weird never for a second questioned me and even i've gone back and watched it or at least some episodes you know and never like oh wow i can't believe i thought this guy was actually from new jersey he seemed like he's in new jersey my fourth pick this is one that i think i just learned like today right now

it's a guy i've been watching forever because he's in every movie ever. Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman is – How did you know he was British? Because he's also not – he's like a megastar in terms of like – he's one of the most prolific actors ever. He's been in so many awesome movies. But he's never like the front man where you're going to see him like on the red carpet and he's going to be doing the press conferences and shit. I had no clue.

I think I had an idea. He definitely gave a speech very recently that was weird. I think he won an Oscar last year. And it was strange. Yeah. It was political but like not clear what its meaning was I don't think. There was something about it that was odd. He's also kind of problematic.

I think he's had a few problematic issues. Really? What did he do? Yeah, that was more surprising. Wait a minute. Gary Oldman won Best Actor? Holy shit. Was it last year?

No, that was 2018. But that totally negates everything i just said because i didn't i i thought he had always been in like awesome movies but i never knew he was like the lead dude but i never saw i never saw a darkest hour i don't know yeah i knew he was in a weird movie like that yeah i think he's churchill in that i believe oh yeah i definitely don't know that one oh yeah it was the speech for that he gave a weird speech i honestly i forget even what if it was left or right politically, but it was like a weird one.

I would have to imagine it was left, but. I would think so, but I think this is what I mean. I think what his meaning was. Something was wacky about him. Yeah. Yeah. My number four, I mean, easy, home run, Idris Elba. I saw that.

I think the problem for me is I didn't watch him as Stringer Bell. So, like, I only know him as a British guy. See, Charles Minor. What's that? Charles Minor, The Office. Right. See, I also fell off on Late Office. I knew he was in it, but I never watched it hardcore.

That's fairly early. I think that's maybe season four. Is it? Is that? Oh, okay, because he's not replacing... He wasn't one of those Robert California guys. He was just... He's technically replacing Michael. He quits and starts the Michael Scott Piper Foundation. Right. Yeah, I know

that Stringer Bell having an accent was like a fucking existential crisis moment for a lot of people. Yeah. So, yeah, you got to have that on the list. I just – Idris has never – he's always been the – that's another guy too, Idris Elba. I don't know what kind of name that is, but it ain't just like you're an American boy. You're not like a dude from Baltimore.

All right, so this is my fifth and final pick? Yes. I'm not picking this, but I do want to just throw this out there. As I learned about Gary Oldman, it was because I was watching a clip where he was doing an Australian accent sitting next to Toni Collette. Did you know she was Australian? No. She's got a full-blown, like, good day, mate.

See, Charlie Hunnam would probably be on this list of people but the first thing i saw was green street so yeah it surprised me yeah my first thing was sons of anarchy that's a guy you go back and listen to him talking sons i mean he's he's all over the map with his voice it's all over the fucking place. It doesn't make any sense. He's doing an absolutely terrible job. Once you know it, you're like, oh yeah, this is absolutely terrible. I think I'm going to go here. This is not a big time name.

I can only think of him in one thing. But it's pretty stunning for me. I don't know if it's a big enough pick to round out my top five. Oh, no. Are you going to take my pick here? This is a very – this is a niche, niche thing.

It almost – I don't know if I can make it my top – it doesn't even matter. I think people would be like, so fucking what? Who cares, dude? I think you might have my pick. This one's big for me. You can say it it is it a kid is a young person guy is it the kid from we're the millers yes yeah we are so on the same page we need to get on one of these shows where we somehow can win money for fucking knowing each

other's brains i couldn't believe that i mean that's the only it's the only thing i've seen him in and he just plays such a hokey like american boy next door will palter was definitely on my list yeah that's fucking funny that that that that was that was like my sleeper pick i just didn't know if he had enough of a career to even like really worry about or like make a difference but i would have you know gone to my head i would have been like yeah that's just like the you know the goofy goofy white. Yeah. That kid is from who gives a fuck Kansas. There's no doubt about it. A thousand percent.

That's fucking funny that we both picked the most irrelevant thing in the goddamn world. I was surprised by that. He was like, I almost put it number one. I know. I know. That was like all of these things. I'm like, did I know that? I feel like I kind of knew that.

I had no idea with that kid so that's why he was like high on my list uh i mean if you took that then i'm gonna do hunnam but yeah i can't in good i can't in good spirits good faith do hunnam oh you know who i'm doing um the dude from star wars that was a surprise when i saw him speak uh in in an english accent uh the black guy i don don't know. Fuck it. Actually, it could be either one of them. Oh, the new black guy is British? Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, that's a good one. It could be him or you could put him or you could put the guy from Get Out. Also a stunner for me. Oh, wait a second. I got a new one. Al Swearengin is British. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a new one. Al Swearingen is British. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good one. What's his name again? Ian McShane. McShane. That's a good one because it's so American. You cocksucker hoopleheads. And he's like this fancy British boy. So that would be my sixth pick.

I'm going to go with the we're the miller kids but uh but that's it's such a i don't know if it's like an american cocky arrogance thing to be like stunned that someone's from a different country but it really is like a a revelation for us over here i i'm sure it's not that way it can't be the other way around right there's just not enough examples of people doing you know no i mean i've talked about this before because i actually looked it up one time wondering why it is such a surprise for us and uh and why it's why why they're so good at doing our accents and we are so bad at doing this you've never seen american crossover and do a british accent and when they do do it it's usually pretty bad it's because john boyega is the guy the name I'm looking for. He's the guy from Star Wars.

But the, it's British actors, British actors are taught at a young age that in order to become a real movie star, you have to be able to do American actors. Well, I mean, it also, it makes sense though too.

It's like when you, Hollywood, Hollywood's in America, bro. I mean, I know there are like movie studios everywhere, but I feel like if you're doing American blockbusters and shit like that, yeah, you better be able to talk like – you better talk American if you want to make it big.

But, yeah, that's for sure like a stunning moment for all of us here. So another top five. We're going to do this every Tuesday. If you have an idea for us to do KFC Radio top fives, let us know which ones you want to do, and we'll bang them out each and every Tuesday for you. Time to get into our voicemails. They are brought to you by SimpliSafe.

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I'm Super Producer BC. Curious what you guys think about when things you can't control interrupt sex. For example, my husband and I were in quarantine. Start to do it on the living room floor and he couldn't stop coughing uh coronavirus who knows a couple minutes we make it out stop he had to cough get back at it comments later cough whatever it was kind of funny but fight through it keep going a couple minutes later the oven goes off because i forgot i had brownies baking in the oven

so stop get up go take the brownies out of the oven get them cooled down get back at it on the living room floor um just give us what your thoughts are when you know if it's something uncontrollable like a cough what do you do do you power through do you make them stop um and what things are just totally a deal breaker and you can't continue on getting at it so so this is a perfect example of what what you always say john where like it's supposed to be funnier than anything like i think that's probably the best session, especially a married couple. If you go on a hot date, you bring a girl home

for the second time or something, your first time sleeping with her, you want it to be some sexy shit. Married, that's going to be more memorable. Remember the time we were trying to fuck and you were coughing down my throat because you have the virus that's killing the world? Remember that time I was trying to be fucking barefoot Contessa

and burnt the brownies because we were fucking. And like, I think that I'd get a kick out of that more than anything. If, if it's something where, you know, you're not, you don't have to like seize the opportunity. I would find it personally funny. I would probably not be able to fuck through. Because my thing is, I think one, I think I got i got one interruption i and even one's borderline because like right when i'm like having sex i'm like shy labuff in the greatest game ever played like i just don't see anything but the hole right literally and then the moment something else comes in i'm off right like i got a text message

like like sometimes you ever you ever do one you ever pull this move. Sometimes you happen to get up early for God knows what reason, and then you have some morning sex, and then your alarm goes off. Done. That's it. I go flaccid so fast. Well, so that's the problem is it's really not up to you or her. It's up to your dick. So if your dick can withstand the coughing

fine if your dick draws the line at brownies in the oven then guess what the sex is going to be over can i tell you something i just gave a test cough i might start coughing during sex right do it right now right hang on do it. Hold your dick. Hold your dick and cough. Oh, yeah. It's definitely like a – Well, I don't – Oh, you feel a blood rush, right? Well, that's why they always tell you in prison to bend over and cough because it'll – But you can feel it.

You can feel blood rushing to your penis. Yeah, you get that bump. I'm just going to start having coffin fits all during sex. It'll be a little big. That'll really turn around, yeah. I imagine my dick does that little flex right before a climax as well. So like, oh, you gave me multiples. I'll tell you what the craziest part of this whole voicemail is to me.

Having sex on the floor. Heavens to Betsy. I had sex on the floor like six months ago. Can't do that anymore. That's off the list. I need a fucking bed or a piece of furniture. It wasn't even on like hardwood. There was a rug.

Can't do that. John, I'm too old for it. I'm too old for horseback. I could be on my back for it. Yeah, I'm too old for it. I'm too old for force. I can be on my back for it. I love it. Yeah. I mean, I could be on my back for anything.

If I was on my knees, holding myself up, my knees are on the fucking ground. And I mean, I had bruises and I had raspberries and like, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't get any,

any like, you know, rhythm. Cause it was just rubbing too hard. Anytime I tried to get some torque in there, it was hurting my fucking knees. Guys having a bed is like having a steroid. Especially getting an old bed like Springs.

With Springs, I don't even fucking move my hips because my core will get too tight. I just push down my arms. Really what you're doing is bouncing her into your dick. Yeah. I could picture a superhero Really what you're doing is bouncing her into your dick. Yeah. I'm just like, I don't know.

I can picture a superhero in my head. He just rapid arm punches and he just takes the wall down. That's me just in a bed. Yeah. Sometimes I'll get it going so bad. We're like on a trampoline where there's like, you two perfectly hit it. And it's like dangerous. Sometimes we'll like become merge into one person real quick and then like

suck back out. It's like, sometimes we're coming to be with such force. Our bodies are straight up combined. That, that was a tough one for me to realize though. Like, like you get old and you realize you can't drink as much as you used to and then you get old and you realize the heartburn it's like oh i can't

even eat these foods anymore i tried to have like spontaneous floor sex and i was like can we just pause and that was my interruption i was like can we go to the bed please because this is this is not feeling good for any of us i don't think so um i did recently um standing up in my bathroom or in the bathroom no in the bathroom okay and like had her like holding her up kind of deal oh what are you fucking hercules dude but i i did it for so long where like i ended up getting tired and i went to sit like an idiot on my radiator. It wasn't like cooking, cooking, but it was like it made me pop like, oh! It was like a skin kind of deal, but it wasn't a fucking pan.

That's too hot. What the fuck is that? Yo, you're a – What happened after that? Stopped having sex. I was going to say. And then all the blood is rushing to your injured ass cheeks and the sex is over. I hope you enjoyed the fucking Arnold

Schwarzenegger hold you up sex for the next first five minutes because it is over. Let's do another voicemail. We got a big jam-packed episode. We got Rhett and Link to wrap things up and interview with those two guys from YouTube. So we'll do another voicemail and jump into it with them. What do we got?

Hey, what's up, guys? I have a question for you. I need some advice. So I went on a date with this girl literally right before quarantine all happened. Everything went great. Everything was awesome. Except now I'm like, I don't know how to follow up. So we've been texting a little bit, but like without being able to see each other, it's not a real thing.

And like going over and hanging out at each other's houses, like we just like she's not really that type of person. And, you know, right off the bat kind of thing. And like we didn't really know each other off the start. So I just don't know how to kind of follow up with, you know, from the date, from whatever. It's been a couple weeks at this point. We've kind of been talking back and forth here or there but quarantine's kind of putting a uh a damper on everything i'm trying to do here so just looking to see if you guys have any advice for me so thanks viva this is there's a lot of these questions floating around in different variations uh people who either started to talk or had a date prior to everything and now they feel like

you know what do you do but my answer to all them no matter what your different circumstances are it's kind of like what else are you gonna do yeah you can't go back out you know you're not gonna be like i'm gonna go out back out to the bar and meet someone else like you're gonna basically be either in quarantine where you continue to talk to this person and text them maybe fucking fool around on facetime or whatever oh people or nothing oh yeah oh no you're so lame john you ke You, Kevin, you FaceTime fucked. Yeah, I mean. No! No! What's wrong with you?

No, I don't like talking on FaceTime. I'm so ugly. It's like, what, you fucking playing with yourself while a girl is playing with herself while you fucking looked at her? Yeah, you don't even have to put it on your ugly face. Just put it on your ugly dick. Just put it on your ugly dick. So you just had your fucking peep out? Just turn the fucking phone around. Just put it down on your dick.

And you just tug it on her? And I'm what? And you just tug it on her? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what? That is funny. That is funny.

Why are you not? Why are you not, John? I don't FaceTime sex, man. That is funny. Why are you not? Why are you not, John? I don't FaceTime sex, man. That's not me. That's not my game. You got to be – look, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what will be dead honest with you right here. You have sex with me, you're going to enjoy it.

You look at my naked body, you're not think you could yeah well that it is tough you gotta work with the lighting and shit but you also you also control see i almost like it because you're almost in control if you just look at me naked you could look at any part of me you're only gonna look at what i fucking show you you know what i mean i'm not i'm not putting it so you can like see my fucking muffin top bro you know, it's actually controlling their eyeballs, basically. I mean, I get it. I get it. I just like... And also, it's just... You're just so bad at talking, too.

I can't even imagine how awkward you'd be. It would just... It would be... Here's what you'd hear. See? You'd hear my fucking pinky hitting my fucking like, either my...

It is the pinky that just hits. Just catch it a little bit, and then that's and like, I don't moan, I don't do nothing, it would just be like what small insect is doing construction right now? That's like –

Who's – What small insect is doing construction? That's like one of those newlywed questions. Like describe what it sounds like when your mate has sex. An insect doing construction. It's just – I don't know if I'm – I don't know. I don't know. It's just, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

It's just, it doesn't, it's not something I, it's, it, I wasn't like, I'm not shocked to hear people are doing it, but it's just like, I, when someone FaceTimes me, I just FaceTime, I just put my phone down and it looks at the ceiling. That's what you get to see. You want to talk, call me on the phone. Fine. You want to fuck?

I don't know. See me in three months. Well, this let me just i'll rope this in i was gonna save it for uh am i the asshole because that's what the kid asked me the question over over dm but i mean it does it does play into this uh like too too well so basically am i the asshole for wanting to break up with a girl that lives across the country right now? We started talking in October. We've been hanging out on long weekends every six weeks or so since December. She lives in Tennessee. I live in Arizona, so it's not driving distance. She's cool and all, but it feels like i'm wasting my time like if you're in a long-distance relationship already so far in quarantine you've probably only missed like one time together right yeah so

if you're already like that's a waste of time i don't think you really like this girl to begin with so i think i think that and then the other thing is like okay so you break up with her that means you just stop talking to her and then again you can't go out and find somebody who lives nearby so you're basically just choosing I don't want to even have to text this person anymore you might just not like this girl that's fine you're allowed to break up with her but I don't think you can be like I loved you you were the one but the quarantine fucked us yeah we're already in a long-distance relationship, you know? You missed one time together.

You know, I think if you wanted to blame the quarantine on your long-distance relationship, I think it would have to be, like, you'd have to miss, like, five times together. Four times. Yeah, no, I think five is the number. Yeah. Like a year. Correct. We quarantined for a year. Breakups shouldn't even have to happen. It's Like a year. We quarantine for a year.

Breakups shouldn't even have to happen. It's just we're done. It's just over. When we come out, we're out. We're all single. Yeah. I mean, if you're dating someone and you see them every six weeks, so that's what, let's call it, you see them eight times a year.

So now if you only see them like six times, you're like, fuck it, I'm out. Now that's got to be down around three or four before you can say, hey, babe, this is just silly, right? So until then, you're allowed to break up with her. Just don't expect that people are going to let you off the hook. Her and her friends are all going to be like, you're an asshole. Did you just hear me fart? I heard something. I heard something.

I didn't know what it was. You could have got away with it. I have been farting on live streams and stuff a lot, and there have been plenty of times where I'm like, oof, they might have heard that one. Is that like your kink? Like you're running around like, did I get away with that one? No, it's just like I don't hold it.

Like there's no one in this room, so I don't fucking care. I'm not like – I'm also looking. You're sitting on what appears to be the most leather couch of all time. I mean it just looks shiny. It looks like it was designed to amplify farts. This was honestly my grandfather's cigar room couch. Yeah, yeah.

He's been farting that thing since like 1910. That thing has 100 years of farts in it. Even if we can't hear it, I'm going to have Nick drop like a noise in him post. So don't worry. All right. Let's talk to our boys, Brett and Link. You know them from YouTube. We talked to them a couple times before.

They are back. And we're talking about why the fuck are people doing puzzles in quarantine? Since when do people – two things. Puzzles and now everyone feels the need to FaceTime and Zoom with their family. I haven't fucking – I don't talk to my family as is now all of a sudden i gotta like facetime with my aunts and like make sure i catch up like what i see you two times a year normally now all of a sudden we gotta do skype fucking talks and shit get out of here i don't want to stand up until 2 a.m doing puzzles it's crazy she doesn't stay up till 2 a.m ever and you've also got to talk to her you

gotta you gotta facetime and zoom with people you don't talk to anyway and do puzzles with them. Those are two things you never did all year long, and now that we're trapped inside, you're expected to do puzzles with Aunt Edna over the fucking phone. Get out of here! So let's talk to Rhett and Link about it. They're brought to you by Seamless. Order right now with your local favorites and earn exclusive rewards from Seamless so you can help your local community. Seamless is running the Supper for Support plan where every evening you can get $10 off your order of $30 or more to support the restaurants

you love. Honestly, this is like a win-win. Like I said, you're doing the things you normally do. You would ordinarily order out and get dinner anyway. You might as well save 10 bucks. And of course, you know your order is going to be over $30. You know why? Because I'm getting an appetizer and a couple of desserts and everything is going to cost at least $50, even though I'm a one fucking person household. So you might as well save $10. You might as well save the local community and keep your favorite bars and restaurants open. And you can select contact-free delivery at checkout. So you don as well save $10. You might as well save the local community and keep your favorite bars and restaurants open. And you can select contact-free delivery at checkout so you don't have to worry about any chance of running a germs or seeing anybody.

And so basically you're donating funds to help every time you order. You can go to donate the change contribution support and the seamless community relief fund. All of it is keeping everybody open and everything afloat. So for new users, use the promo code KFCRADIO to get $7 off your first order of $10 or more on top of the Suffer for Support deal you're getting for the $30 or more. That's new users, promo code KFCRADIO on the Seamless app. Rhett and Link, let's talk to them.

Well, it's cooking. We got Rhett and Link back, well, not back in the building, but radio on the seamless app. Rhett and Link. Let's talk to him. What's cooking. We got Rhett and Link back. Well, not back in the building, but back on the podcast. Everybody in their homes. You guys staying safe. How you feeling?

Yeah. Staying. I'm in bed currently. So I can't complain that much. I just got to interview Larry, the cable guy and came. I was going to do it from bed. And I was like,

I feel weird doing an interview. Like I was Guy. I was going to do it from bed, and I was like, I feel weird doing an interview. I was in bed bed. So we almost had a little bedtime together there. I mean, I am dressed, and the bed is kind of made just because I think behind the scenes. Are you in bed in quarantine? I'm a weird guy, yeah. I'm doing lots of weird things in quarantine? I'm a weird guy, yeah. I'm doing lots of weird things

in quarantine that that's going to be the least of your issues if I told you everything. This frame right here, which I've never seen, is very YouTube vlogger 2009. Hey, guys. Just coming up on the edge of the bed.

Well, what other kind of weird shit Are you getting into Well as you can see I'm kind I'm kind of embracing I've been embracing This whole quarantine thing I was doing that

Before it started And Then I realized My lack of cutting My hair for Eight months Was the perfect way To slide right into this

Lockdown You've been doing this on purpose yeah exactly do you think people like people who kind of were internet personalities per se uh have have a pretty big one up here we're like like we've we've been doing this shit like well yeah you think about like the like the late night guys who are a sudden like, hey, we're doing our show from our house. Isn't that cool? And everybody's like, yeah, we've all been doing that for like a decade. You know?

Yeah, I mean, we woke up when it first started and I was like, all right, this is just back to the old days. Like grab the laptop, press record on the camera and just start fucking around. Yeah, I got to say say well i mean we were a little bit rusty because i mean we got a good team and they make things easy for us so that we don't lash out at them and now the only people i have to lash out at is me and my kids if they happen to be in the room like i mean i got my 10 year old like rolling the camera and stopping it. It's risky business, man.

But yeah, it's kind of like going back to basics, basics. And it's, uh, listen, it's, it's time for them to start pulling their weight.

You know, they've been catching the checks, start doing some work kids. That's right. Child labor. I've been pushing for that for years. Why would you not take the free labor? Mythical morning. Were you, you were in the same place? Now, what do you mean by Good Mythical Morning?

You were in the same place, so it's a little different now? Well, no. So when we started GMM, we were like in my converted garage, which was our office, which was, you know, like a 12 by 15 space where the two of us and one other employee worked. And so we would literally just turn the camera, put a card table in the middle of the room. We've cut a hole in it and put a microphone through it. And then just the three of us did everything. So we are kind of returning to that. The thing that's been complicated is we're not in the same spot. So we've got to do this split screen thing where we've got each other on a chat, a video chat. So when Link looks to his right and I look to my left, we're kind of looking at each other.

So it kind of feels like the show. So we've got to have that set up. And then we're recording our audio and then recording the video separately. And there's not been one episode where something didn't get pretty much screwed up by us, but that's the fun of it though. Isn't it? Like, yeah.

Yeah. I like our episodes better when they're kind of chaotic where it's like, yeah, I don't know. That's right. I mean, we kind of just say it's the barstool difference because we're always going to fuck.

So even when we're in the same room, we're going to fuck stuff up, but there's a little bit more opportunity for that now. Well, one of the things is, I mean, right. And I are used to talking over top of each other and interrupting each other, right there's a little bit more opportunity for that now why one of the things is i mean rhett and i are used to talking over top of each other and interrupting each other but now you got that little bit of delay so if you've learned to not put any pauses in any thoughts you're having

because it after a delay they'll try to you read will try to interrupt me or vice versa and i'm already talking about the next thing. So there's this new skill of I hear him talking, but I'm just going to barrel through. I mean, are you guys dealing with that? Oh, yeah. We'll evolve. Big time.

Yeah, we're doing it right now. Fuck off. Stop talking. Right. No, but I think it is – I think guys like us and your duo have an even bigger leg up because I do still think having chemistry, even with the delay, it's like I know his tendencies. I know how long he's going to talk for. The people who are coming in fresh to this I feel like are – oh, you go. Okay.

It's like – you know what it is? It's conference calls in the corporate world. Everyone on conference calls is always, what? Oh, no, you go. And it's just like, ah. So I think with the chemistry, you can still get through the whole Skype shit. Yeah.

And as a culture, we're getting better at conference calls. That's one of the benefits of all this. There's going to be a lot less awkwardness. I mean, I don't know if you guys have done this, but we've been doing this. We lost him. We've been doing this thing where we reconnect with our friends over video chat. I don't know what he was saying.

In years. That was it. Okay, we lost you. We lost you for a second. I took the thread and I contended it. So you can just keep going as if we never lost you. Yeah, well, that was intentional. I was just trying to demonstrate the way the video chats can fall apart.

I think what you were saying was we've reconnected with friends of ours from college and we're doing video chats with them. And I'm starting to realize it can almost work and now you can choose who you i mean you don't have to be limited to the friends that you that you can have right in front of your face like you know what i might i think i'm gonna start opting for video chats over interacting with some of the people that i used to consider like my my best chance of a friend here in person we were saying that with um the interesting thing the first of all how quickly like let's do a video chat has become let's grab a drink together like that's just immediately like hey you want a drink let's let's have a zoom but the interesting thing I found me

and my friends video chatted the other night for I swear to god six hours yeah but when I video chat it's like you know when I video chat when I do something like this it's an interview or a show so I'm always ready to like go go go not have lulls and they were like dude we can just hang out like we're in the room like yeah yeah right you just shut the hell up for a bit and then talk when something comes up oh so you guys just hanging out like you're just drinking in quiet and then when something comes up you start talking there won't be extended lulls but yeah it's not like okay on to the next topic on the next topic camera up like it's just put it in a top corner of your room like surveillance i kind of have it on this table i'm just kind of chilling on the couch watching tv

yeah you just put it back. Yeah, yeah. There's some crotch in the shots, what you're telling me. I get that because we're doing like, we've had a couple of meals with other families. And well, Link, your family has been one of those families. And they're hanging out talking. And then there's the mom. Oh, we're hanging out talking, and then there's them all. Oh, we're hanging out and talking.

But you got to just embrace it. I don't know what he was going to say. We lost you again, but every time I start talking, you're losing me. You know what? I think we're discovering a new game here. You got to finish your partner's sentence when he frees you. You guys, just pick it up and roll it. Yeah, we had all of our families eating, and then we started to bit.

You're too shaky, man. It's not working. You're too shaky. Can you tell? Yeah, one hand shaking. You got to take the ball and run with it, man. That's the game. How is Good Mythical Morning going?

How is your industry in general? We felt in the very beginning there was a dip in podcasts, and I'm hoping it's kind of back. But I think as people found their routines, for us, commutes and going to the gym were a huge part of when people listen to those things. Now that's obviously out. So they have to find new times. Is something like Good Mythical Morning even affected by this or are more people watching? How's that working out? I'm going to try to speak without stopping. You just let me know if I stop.

And if I do, I'm going to have to go take one of my kids off of the Internet. That's probably what's happening. You know, we've seen it be pretty steady for GMM. For our podcast, Ear Biscuits, we saw the same dip that everybody's seeing. For GMM, we've heard that a lot of people on YouTube are seeing more traffic, but we're seeing about the same. And I think it's because our show is such a routine for people. Right. So I think that if everyone's kind of thrown off their their game it's like people are going to sleep at different times

waking up at different times so i think that the whole idea of getting up and like i have my gmm that i watch for 15 minutes every morning before i go to work or before i work out or whatever so i think that those people are not watching as much or they're watching at different times and then there's just more people on the internet in general. So it's kind of leveled itself out. That's my best guess. I feel like staying steady throughout this is maybe like the biggest sign of success or the biggest compliment you can see.

Because when everyone's in pirate mode and you stay completely normal, I mean, that's when you know you got like a staple of a product for people. Yeah. I mean, at first there was a lot of scrambling trying to figure out, I mean, what we're going to do with our team. You know, we sent them all home in anticipation of that happening. And then a few days later it was official, but, and then we knew we were just going to have to start making stuff. We didn't, you know, at first it was was you just didn't know what was going on and are we planning for weeks we plan it for months we plan it and you know so it took some time to settle into it but yeah i i agree it's like if we can if we can just find a way to keep

getting a version of our shows out there and you know we i mean we reduced our release schedule to just monday wednesday friday on good mythical morning just because it's taking that much longer for us to make the show and turn around we're still uploading it to be edited and utilizing team members and things like that so it's but yeah it's uh you just find a way to keep going and then just to get to the other side. And I feel for all the people who, you know, they've got more important jobs than we do. And they're trying to figure out how to do it or they're not allowed to do it or they have to do it because it's essential. And now all of a sudden they're putting their lives at risk and to stock the shelves at Walmart. Yeah.

Yeah. Essential. The word essential is is puzzling i mean a lot of them make sense and a lot of them i'm like that is not essential it's most the essential people do make sense to me it's just like it's just not the people you've been trained to think are essential like because their pay doesn't reflect it but like yeah someone's gotta fucking put the food on the shelf. That has to happen. Yeah.

Are you guys cooking up anything new in quarantine? Any type of quarantine ideas bouncing around from you guys? Well, the one thing that we have reluctantly but now enthusiastically embraced is TikTok. I knew it. You knew he was going to say that? Yeah. As soon as you said reluctantly, I was like, guys would be good at it. Yeah. Well, we haven't really done any. So it's one of those things that, you know, when you do what we do, you see this platform that everybody's talking about. You're like, yeah, we got to get on there don't we and uh luckily we have the ability

with all the stuff that we've created in the past you could just take old stuff and sort of recycle it and people and that's how we kind of started it but now we're starting to think like okay we're here at home i mean i can film something you can film something we can edit it together it's the whole idea is this lo-fi stuff so we've got some ideas that will be rolling out are you staying away are you guys are you guys hopping on it i actually so i had it i had two videos fall dead flat and um i saw i think burt chrysler yesterday retweeted something and it's like it was basically like i had two glasses of whiskey and i saw someone retweet

something that said, delete TikTok because China's going to steal your data. I was like, you know what? My two videos stunk. I'm a little buzzed. I'm done with TikTok. You deleted it? I deleted the whole thing, yeah. I heard the whispers. I heard

now, you're born for this shit I don't know how to feel about that Well you know what I can't decide about TikTok I was just talking about it last night with the comedian Josh Wolf And like there's a lot of reasons To make fun of it or to hate it I think it's weird when the parents are on it

And like in their teenage kids videos I think it's weird If you're just like old and single and on it and all that shit. But the real reason, the real two reasons I don't like it. One, I'm not like a good dancer and I'm jealous that I can't be good at TikTok. And if I was, I would just be like, fuck it. I'm awesome at TikTok. And two, there's someone who's going to come along who's just going to dance in front of a camera for 15 seconds, and they're going to have a better career

than I have. And so the main reason I don't like TikTok is just pure jealousy. If I was... Yeah, if I could do it and I fit, I would be like, you're just jealous. I didn't even delete TikTok. TikTok deleted me.

They hated my videos, and I was like, fuck you. I don't want it. What I find most confusing about it is when dancing, being able to dance really well, we're making fun of that now? Like, ha-ha, TikTok. Right. Really awesome dance moves. How lame is that?

I'm like, I would love that. I would love to be able to be good at it. I'm just not. Right. Awesome dance moves. How lame is that? I'm like, I would love that. I would love to be able to be good at TikTok. I'm just not. Right. Right. Because in eighth grade, we didn't get like a dance circle going at the dance. I mean, that was your opportunity to like make a name for yourself for the rest of the year.

Right. Come on. That's that shit right there. You know? TikTok, I actually think, is kind of in the sweet spot where I don't think the good, the great dancers get like, kind of go out there. I think it's, like, you're a good dancer. And I think that's the perfect spot to be in a bar where it's, like, I have rhythm, but, like, you can't see me, you know, you can tell I don't practice in mirrored rooms.

Right. You can't see my feet. I'm not awful. I'm happy. Right. I'm happy. I also think the, and you guys have been around long enough to probably feel this exhaustion of like another app. Like we, we stupidly 10 years ago,

put all our eggs in the Twitter basket because we're writers and we're doing jokes. And now, you know, Twitter is like dinosaur type shit. But then Instagram came along and I was like, Oh my God, I'm not like good looking enough for Instagram. And then Snapchat and now there's another one i'm like how many are we

gonna have to do where does it stop and i don't think it ever stops i think you're just gonna have to keep getting apps right yeah yeah that was just i mean it's a little encouraging but when you go back into tiktok it's. So it's not just about the dances. I mean, there's some funny people on there. I mean, it's the strangest version of funny. But I'm kind of into that. So I think that gives me hope that, you know, I don't know the guy's name. I don't know anybody's name.

But you got the one guy who's doing, like, the conversations between Obama and Trump. And that guy is funny. very funny like skits and and if you know how to use the app you can do a lot of cool video editing it's just that we you know when you can't use it you're like ah it's just children and fucking weird shit no it's actually a cool tool if you know how to use it but it is just put me out to pasture. I can't keep up anymore. Well, it's like the stages of grief. It always ends in acceptance. That's what these stages of new platforms are for people who make a living on the internet. It's like, you're like, no, oh, are people going to care about this one? Are they going to care about this one? Oh, yeah.

Oh, now there's people signing with you who are only on TikTok. And then you're like, okay, we've got to do something. Right. It's not even just new platforms. It's even like new, I can't think of the word, but just like new little edits

to already existing platforms. Like I remember when Twitter changed from the start of the heart. That was the end. People were like, I'm not harding tweets. This is so stupid. You get really passionate about it for a day or so, and then you forget

there was ever a different way. Going from 140 characters to 280 characters was maybe the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life in the moment. I was like, this is the depth of everything. Two days later, this is the depth of everything. Two days later, I don't even know this.

Got to keep it moving. Two days later, I'm like, thank God I have 220 characters here. I wouldn't be able to fit this. This is a half. Everything is still rolling with Good Mythical Morning. Everyone can still find it as per usual. Monday, Wednesday, Friday now.

Anything else cooking you guys want to get out there to the people? Ear Biscuit Stuff podcast still comes out every Monday. The video version comes out the following Sunday on its own channel. We're throwing up some vlogs, too, on the Rhett and Link channel.

On the old Rhett and Link channel, yeah. I will say, in non-internet related news, just a piece of advice. I don't know if you guys have gotten into puzzles or tried to. I think everybody thought that they were going to do puzzles. My wife bought a 1500 piece puzzle and I just told her, I was like, I'm not doing this. I'm not, I don't do puzzles. The reason I hate puzzles is because the end product is just the same thing that's on the box already there's no surprise you're just trying to recreate the thing that is already there right it's the most

anticlimactic thing that exists in all of entertainment and it's like it's like reading the last page of a book and then reading the book why would you do this and so and not only that in a world that is consumed with no spoilers no spoilers a puzzle is just a giant spoiler it's a spoiler like it could have a surprise in it like what if when you put it together there was like a new character that was on the puzzle what about that that's something i might be able to get into it's like watching the last scene of the movie and then saying oh by the by the way, you're never going to get to this. Right. You're going to stop.

Well, especially with a 1500. I mean, this was the war and peace of puzzles. And it was it was a landscape with a house and a barn. And then it was a reflected land, the reflected landscape in a pond in the foreground and so it was the same thing twice except one part one part was a little bit blurrier so she's like holding up pieces trying to figure out which one's blurrier and i was like you're not you're not gonna do this two weeks later i see the puzzle is no longer on the dining room table and i'm like oh what happened did you? And she just looked at me. No response.

She quit. I was talking about this with my mom just last night. My mom did the same thing. I don't know the piece count or what the picture is of. But when quarantine started, it was like the whole world was like, we need bread. We need toilet paper. We need puzzles. For some reason, we were like, the only reason we haven't been doing puzzles is because we haven't been in quarantine.

These are going to be great. I love... You see the puzzle pillow? No. The puzzle pillow, you do this puzzle on, like, almost like a felt mat, and then you can roll it up and take it somewhere and unroll it, and all the pieces

stay exactly where you put them why yeah because you got to be mobile with your puzzles obviously guys come on hey that's an issue of quarantine how do i get there's nothing worse than completing a puzzle and then realizing that you want to preserve it for no good reason so you're you're going through all this trouble to preserve something you spent so much time on, understandably. But then you're doing that. Because my kids have made puzzles. And you get a piece of cardboard.

And then you're slowly trying to shift the whole thing over. To just then put it up in the garage on top of the Christmas boxes. I don't know. Exactly. Say, kids, just keep the box box it is the completed puzzle all right we need something like you said you finish the puzzle and then you like uh you flip it upside down it looks like something different or you like gotta be like a spoiler alert where i'm like a like a twist ending where I make a landscape, but if you look at it in this light, it's like the black guy

with the huge dick. Oh my god! Or this becomes money. Somehow you can spend it. I might be into a puzzle that is a counterfeiting process. The way the world's going at some point puzzles might be currency yeah yeah all right boys well we appreciate the time uh happy to hear business

is still good everybody go check out the mythical morning the retin link vlogs ear biscuits uh the podcast and stay safe out there thank you guys, Mark. You too, guys. Great to see you. I'm everywhere given in the light written on the pages is the answer to a never ending story I reach the stars lie a fantasy dream a dream

And what you see will be Riding in their sacred sphere A boat behind the clouds And there upon a rainbow Is the answer to a never-ending story. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Story. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. you