KFC Radio - Chris Distefano is Going on Club Shay Shay and He Has a Plan - Full Interview

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 03:14 Chris D is going on Shannon Sharpe's Podcast and he has a plan 12:22 The one thing that has increased Chris' numbers 16:14 Chris' advice to Feits starting stand up 25:04 Why Chris didn't do Dancing With The Stars 33:20 Chris needs to stop flip flopping between Mets and Yankees 40:36 Shohei Ohtani is incredible 46:14 Chris broke his social media sobriety 58:33 Hemingway / Chris wants to grow his hair out like Feits 01:01:37 Big Justice and AJ 01:04:04 Dying guy assisted sui on Minihane Show 01:09:35TV Discussion 01:13:48 Salem Witch Trials ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by JACKPOCKET: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code KFC. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Opt-in req. 1 Profit Boost Token issued per customer valid only for NBA player prop bets. Bets must have -500 odds or longer. Max. bet varies. Tokens are single-use and expire at the start of the final of NBA game each day when offered. Must select token BEFORE placing bet. Boost only applies to winnings. Customers who place bet w/ Token and pick day’s PRA stat leader will receive equal share of $1,000,000, issued as a non-withdrawable Bonus Bet that expires in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 10/31/24 at the start of the last NBA game. Sponsored by DK. SimpliSafe: Protect your home with 50% off a new SimpliSafe system, plus a free indoor security camera, when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring at https://simplisafe.com/kfcradio Express: Use code SADBOYSZN for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in store Huel: Try Huel with 15% OFF today using code KFC15 at https://my.huel.com/kfc15. Fuel your best performance with Huel today!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Man, shout-out Club Shay Shay. I won't say that on Shay Shay. Shout-out Shay Shay. Today's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by Jackpocket. Say it, Jackie. Jackpocket. Jackpocket.

Jackpocket makes it easier than ever to order national and state lottery tickets right on your phone. Once again, we are 0 for 3 now as a team for drafting our lottery tickets. But we will not go quietly into the night. We will continue to pick our numbers for the Jack Pocket. Right now, Powerball up to $460 million. By the time you listen to this, I will probably have already won this. Drawing us tonight at 10.59 p.m.,

so I will probably have $456 extra million in the bank. And let's go. Order now. now i'm gonna pick my own numbers i'm gonna go 12 for the month of shay's birthday i'm gonna go seven for the month of keegan's birthday i will go um give me a couple you can pick a couple. We're going to mash it up. Five. Five. I'm going to go with 17. I'm going to go with.

11. Sure. 11. And our Powerball number. This one has to come from you, I feel like. This one has to come from me yeah I'm gonna go with what's the most important number in your life what do you think is like what's the most important number like like is it one is one the most important number it starts us off is it a hundred a hundred means like a lot to a lot of people um wait on what 901 a number that always reoccurs in

my life but you can't let's go with nine nine nine okay we're gonna and then you just go uh add to cart check out place order done that's it so now i win 456 million dollars that's all you got to do is uh have it right on your phone phone and you don't have to go out to the gas station or to the bodega or run around last minute. Just have it right on your phone and there's all sorts of, they've sponsored, they've linked up with DraftKings so they have

all sorts of linked up parlays and lottery as well as all the different lottery games along with Mega Millions and Powerball. So download the Jackpocket app today. Millions and Powerball. So download the Jack Pocket app today. Use promo code KFC. You will get a free lottery ticket for your first ticket. So download the Jack Pocket today.

Use code KFC, America's number one lottery app and official partner of Barstool Sports. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY. 18 or older, 19 plus in Nebraska, 21 plus in Arizona. Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawings.

Terms jackpocket.com slash TOS slash free-ticket-promo slash. Hell yeah, dude. On the couch. Let's go. Hi. You know what we were just talking about? Who? How black podcasters always keep the mic really far. Hell yeah, dude, on the couch. Let's go. Hi. You know what we were just talking about? Who?

How black podcasters always keep the mic really far away from them because they don't want it to be like a dick in their mouth. Dude, but the black podcast is like that's what – I'm doing this today because it's a favor to you, but I have done – because I love you guys, but I only want to do black podcasts or podcasts with big black audiences for the next two to three months. I don't want to do any more. podcasts with big black audiences for the next two to three months. I don't want to do any more. I'm kind of done with the white audience.

I just want black people to know who I am. I want them to know, instead of them coming on the stream and be like, you're that motherfucker from Guy Code, and then they think I'm Andrew Schultz. I want to be as black as Schultz is. Like, audience-wise. That's a good goal. That's I need you know I got this special coming out on Hulu and they gave me it's one comedian a month

for the next like 12 months whatever so I was one of the comedians and the month they gave me was February no black history so I'm like let's get get me the black audience and then you're ready for this hasn't been confirmed yet but I think I'm this close to getting on Shannon Sharpe's pod let's go Club Shay Shay you are instant street cred what I'm going to do though on Club Shay Shay is I'm going to tell all my stories that you guys have heard a million

times because black people have not heard them they've never heard the 9-11 story they don't know my dad but you can't be gay dude well so there's a different Chrissy coming out. Okay. It's going to be, I'm going to do what black people want. I'm going to talk about what black people want me to talk about. I'm going to make my father an even crazier mafia character because they love the mafia shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No gay, so I'm going to say that I beat up gay people. I'm going to have a magician come in in the middle. And then he's going to do a trick and I'm going to run out. Like that, like blow my mind. I'm going to talk, you know, like no politics. I'm going to, or I'm just going to say like, yo, like it's, it's Kamala. Like, wait, bro, is she Indian or black?

Like get that going. You know, like it's cool by me, but like, what is she like? I like someone who's real, you know, I've been, you know on more white podcasts it's been beneficial for me to say it was born and raised in queens but this one will go brooklyn you want to go a little blacker um you know and uh and yeah and that and that's and that's the plan i'll wear this hat like well i was gonna ask like you mentioned schultz like i feel like one of the things that helps Schultz in the black community is he looks really different than white people. He's got the haircut.

Yes. Are you going to have like... You do look like a generic white, you know? What's amazing too to me is that that haircut does make him look different, white, and it gratiates him to black people, but he looks like a Nazi. I know.

It is an interesting thing. It's like the most racist look is what the black people are responding to the best. So maybe I'll do, I might just come in in full SS regalia. Get a little Hitler stash. Something like that. But the goal is here. We need to get black people. So Chrissy 2025, get the blacks.

Chrissy, get the blacks. It's 21% of this audience is black? That's right. That's right. 21%? One time we had a- I would say no. Yeah.

Our sales team made a deck for us, and it was like, this many percent make over $100,000 a year, and this many percent have kids, and this many percent live in these areas. And then they said 21 percent of our audience is black and i was like oh throw out all of these numbers because they're all fake 21 i would say you have 21 black people that's what i said so in the world by the way 21 black people who have listened to the show in the history of the 15 year run yeah we get people who call up they're like we're the member of the 2-1. We're part of the 21 club. There's no fucking shot.

There's been a huge influx from its rappers, its ballplayers, its funny black comedians. They have burst on the scene. We got Wallow and Gilly. You can do all that. TikTok, social media. They're the funniest people in the world.

It's not even close. They've always been the funniest people in the world it's not always close like they've always been the funniest people dude it's not even close like like louis i think like louis ck is the best comedian for me like louis ck and bill burrow like the top two but like a random regular black random black guy like driving like a ups truck is funnier we'll say some of the fun yep the funniest things you've ever heard in your life yes it'd be 10 times funnier than than that Can they put together a whole career? Maybe not Maybe, maybe not But in the moment

They're the funniest person alive I actually think a lot of times Comedy is about Being black The shit you guys do sucks So you can be like the funniest UPS driver in the world And it's like I don't want to go bomb for five straight years

I don't want to go up twelve times a week Seven days a week So it's like i don't want to go bomb for five straight years i don't want to go up 12 nights 12 times a week seven days a week so you know it's the same thing as like sports about you might be the greatest athlete but if you don't want to go do all this shit that's why i lately i've been hanging around not lately for the past a couple years i've been hanging around mostly just my friends from home mostly them definitely see my comic friends but i don't like go out with i'm like i'm just at home with so like yesterday i went with my friend pete to the mets game he's diehard mets fan you know i'm sitting there we gotta talk about we're gonna talk about it we're talking about but we're gonna get there but i'm so mad at you bro right so pete we're at this mets game and like you know whatever people recognizing me and all that and this and that and then he's just like dude doesn't that doesn't this

suck and i'm thinking like oh he's gonna think it's cool like you know he doesn't come out with me much you know and he's like oh see he's like my career it's like i'm bigger like get recognized more especially at sporting events and he was like doesn't this just suck like how do you live like this and i was like what do you mean taking pictures with like fucking you know fat guys and hot girls and he was like those are my fans it's like either my fans are it's crazy the spectrum it is fattest, most disgusting man in the stadium and the girl who's a 12. And you're like, but they both – and I was like, no, not even thinking like that. And he was like, dude, you have like these people. Like now you have to sit here and you can't yell anything.

He goes, I know like when we grew up together, he's like we'd be yelling crazy shit at the players. You can't do that. He was like, your family sees any of these pictures with these girls. Get out. You're fucked. He was like, you know, you got to leave your kids all the time to make money. He was like, I'm an electrician. I'm home.

Settle down, Pete. Jesus Christ. Let me fucking live, dude. I know. I was like, you know, it was kind of like he was like getting to me. And I was like, fucking dude. Yeah. But I brought you as a guest. We got great seats. I'm going to go up to the Steve Cohen suite. And what about that? He was like, me, and I was like, fucking dude, yeah, but I brought you as a guest.

We got great seats, and we're going to go up to the Steve Cohen suite, and what about that? He was like, honestly, dude, I'd rather just be watching the game at home with my son. Well, then fuck you. I was like, don't fucking do that. You piece of shit. Don't come with me next. I was like, you're off the list then. Yeah, dude, I was like, I don't even like sitting next to you because you have like

psoriasis or something on the back of your neck, and the people behind you is probably getting flakes on their pants. I mean, listen listen there are worse things in the world it's like alright you know what I can't yell slurs at people in public anymore

well I will be after I go on Club Shay Shay you're gonna go I'm trying to get that pass that's how hard I want to kill on Club Shay Shay

Club Shay Shay is like that's instant there is no that shit he did with Cat Williams I don't even know what's that now

last time I checked it had Cat Williams, I don't even know what's at now. Last time I checked, it had 70 million views. I don't know any other career, I don't know any other podcast that's gotten 70 million views. It's the biggest. Elon and Rogan was the prior biggest, and now it's the biggest podcast of all time. At least on YouTube.

I don't know about Netflix. I mean, yeah. I'm trying to get 21% of that. Are you going in with like a... Not that went with a vendetta say but are you like i'm gonna fucking leave it all out yeah i'm going in there no no say some shit to no the thing is i'm going in there with my mind because here's what's happened too with comedians on myself included by the way i will i will say i've done this we've been podcasting so much and for so many years that sometimes you run out of things to be funny then you start talking about like your actual honest opinions and ideas in my life i'm done with that i'm sorry chrissy rogan was uh i'm very sorry your emotions right i am very sorry for that happening i really am i will only ever be funny now and so i will only i'm gonna go on there

and try to be as funny as i can for as long as i can and not if i am going to get deep at all you better believe it will come on hail you know i will have a bukkake joke or something about puerto ricans on deck ready to go but i'm like i'm like i'm not going to sit here because i look back at old clips of myself and i want to i literally want to kill myself yeah so i'm like i'm like i won't do that but i i am going in with the assumption that shannon sharp has no idea who i am his entire black Sharp has no idea who I am. His entire black audience has no idea who I am. So I'm going from the greatest hits from day one.

Like podcast bits I did on Fire and the Kid in 2019. That's when you're at your best. I'm coming out. When you first came on the scene, I remember being like, what you said, Guy Code. And then I was like, this is the funniest dude in the world. So just run that back. That's what I'm, Guy Code. Yeah. And then I was like, this is the funniest dude in the world. So just run that back. That's what I'm going to run. Dude,

because I think it's for, that comedy, you know, my 9-11 story, black people want to hear that. Yeah. They want to hear fucking your father,

mafia guy hitting the principal. Yeah. You know, they want to hear all my stories, Mr. Perfect. They want to hear that shit. So I'm going to, I'm going to go in there

and I'm just, and I'm just going to do it. Unless he comes out with, he has like a fact sheet on me and he already knows the bits. Then I'm, then I might completely going to do it. Unless he comes out with – he has like a fact sheet on me and he already knows the bits. Then I might completely get in my feelings. I can guarantee you Shannon Schaaf is not doing it.

I talk about how the fabric of this nation is crumbling and how I'm really sad to be a part of one of the worst times in American history. I just completely eat my own advice. It's like there's – I think we've all seen it with interviews and downloads and everything. It's just like it got so many shows, so many appearances, so many guests, all that shit that you do run out of shit. Because you also got to go back to – and again, I'm just a person, so every Sunday at 7 p.m. Eastern time on my YouTube, youtube.com slash Chris D comedy. I put out a new 15 minutes of standup that I've been doing for the week. It's basically,

you know, this week's material every Sunday, every single, I haven't missed a Sunday. And like, I think I've done eight in a row. I haven't missed one. So every week I'm at New York comedy club or the comedy seller,

whatever that shit that I would be riffing out in the clubs that I would never show anyone. Cause I got to get this ready for my special. I'm like, you know what? Fuck the specials. Let me just put it out now because that's why I'm having the most fun is a stand-up. And my YouTube numbers, everything is like incrementally. I was like this for literally two years.

Like nobody cared about the pod. It would go down. And now everything is slowly going back up. The idea of a special is not special anymore. No, dude. But the idea of steady YouTube content that's like just good stand-up comedy every single week. Yeah, I'm like every week you're going to tune in on Sunday. You're basically, you know, wherever you live, you're going to basically see the process of a comedian.

And then the goal is that, you know, whatever like the pinnacle is be – I can't announce it yet, but be around New York City next September. Got a big show oh yes but not yet though but not yet I mean you know I got the emails and stuff but it's not on sale yet

so you can watch me February 21st on Hulu but but but so you know like build with me

come with me on this you know journey I know it's gay but and then like by the time we get to these big shows you'll come see me live with this material this you know journey i know it's gay but and then like by the time we get to these big shows you'll come see me live with this material that you've seen being worked out now and that's perfect yeah some of these punch like you'll be like oh you think you know

where this bit is going but then i've been working on it in secret right and then bang you know you're but also like the idea of like comedy is a little different than music but like when you go to a concert if you go to concerts they go to see springsteen a hundred times yeah same song same song as a matter of fact they don't like the idea of burning material yeah right to me it's like i can get where comedy the the you know the surprise of a punch line is like super important but once you like somebody and you want to see them you probably want to see the process and you want to see the classics and the i think the idea of comics being like i don't want people to see the material unless it's in a club with like 300 people is so crazy when you can get it to like

three million people on the internet well call every fucking time yeah like colin quinn you know he's had good advice from he was like i think it's a good idea because he was like you know when he was coming up or when he was doing comedy forever he was like there was no podcast there was no internet. He goes, so the only way I could get my thoughts out for the night was we had to go to the comedy club

and the only way I could get it out to the mass public was here's my special. But now, you have all this access direct to the fans. I don't know if that's the right route anymore. He's like,

it feels like what you're doing, maybe not right now, but that's the beginning of how everyone's going to start to do it like yeah even even even like but but it's interesting though because comedy does do specials do great numbers for these streamers and they do great on the internet because people love comedy but they don't advance the comics career as much as they used to used to be you kill one special you're good yeah now it's like great what do you have for me now you have a

clip bro it's all clear i mean i only were have for me now? Now you have a clip, bro. It's all clip. I mean, I only were selling... I began to... I was doing all this shit for years. I only started selling tickets when the 9-11 clip came out. And I told that 9-11 bit on my Comedy Central special, but nobody saw it and nobody cared.

And then I told it a year later. It's the fucking internet. Drunk on the internet. And then it went. So that's what it is. But, you know. So, yeah. Can I ask you a few questions?

I love black people. I just want to say that. Yes. I have questions. I'm trying stand-up for the first time on Monday. Oh, my God. I'm not looking for a career change. We're doing a live show already.

Pull a Morgan Wall and say the N-word. Yeah. Honestly. You already look like him. Just do it. Did you, like, when you were starting, did you, like, workshop just do it did you did you like when you were starting did you like workshop your stuff or did you just go do it first of all i'm not i can't take you seriously doing stand-up when you're wearing fucking pilgrim shoes and those socks and bell

bottoms and you're literally dressed like a woman from the future so i can't i can't you're gonna have trouble but um what was question? I was just looking at your socks Sorry Were you Makes you want to have a caribou coffee I love these socks There's a whole big hole right here That's good

Oh yeah Like I was going to I was going to like tell him to Kevin earlier And then I was like You know what? I don't want you to get in my head Yeah so He wanted to like sit down with us

And tell us the jokes And we were all kind of like No I understand their urge to do that And I did do that in the beginning and we were all kind of like no i understand their urge to do that and i did do that in the beginning the reason why i'm going to tell you is not to do it is not so much not so much for their reaction because ultimately at the end of the day you start to become you start to do stand-up for you not for the audience that's i mean in the beginning you will perform for the audience you'll change your jokes for whatever culture is out there or

whatever the vibe is but then as you get into it you'll start you've developed the skin enough where you say i'm just going to say whatever i think is funny in the moment unless i'm of course i'm on club shea then i will be a different person but but but i'm just trying to get the audience i will sell myself like history month hulu but but i think that so so the reason why i'm telling you that is to say, because whatever they say or don't say, if you say it to them, you're going to start to think, like, you're going to start to think, even if they laugh or don't laugh, you're going to start to get in your head about the bit. And the best thing to do is the very first time you say the bit is to be live on stage behind the microphone, because a bit does lose its power when you have to say it the second time it just does yeah like there's there's a couple of things even there was a couple of things i forgot what it was but i think i've already said them in my head a couple of jokes i've already made in here that i was going to text kevin like when we were texting this morning but

i was like no no save that for the show because it just loses power yeah yeah i can't tell and i had to learn that because i can't tell how many times but don't you think there's a sweet spot where you also like refine it a little bit yeah Yeah. Or you think the first time is the best time? Well, are you going to be joke? Like, are you set up punchline or are you storyteller? Storyteller. So storytellers, that's what I do. It's different.

Like a guy like Sam Morrill, who's just a great joke teller. He might be able, he will tell me the joke. Like, do you think this is good or not? And, you know, normally they're great, but he's got a different style than me. Totally. Because he's set up and he kills with that punchline. Where if I tell you the story and the essence of it and I'm doing everything, even if you're hysterical laughing, when I say it again, I'm just going to lose something. So how do you maintain that?

Again, we're just doing one show off. But when you do 70 shows a year, how is show 65? How do you keep that? Because what I do is i always go in to the to the set what i almost i always try to do this i always try to say something different in the in the first minute i always try to make that different maybe it's something about the city maybe it's something about the front row maybe it's something about my shirt but i try to set it up so my brain isn't like oh you're going to go out there and immediately say it's over for

white people don't do that you're going to get to that bit your whole chunk about how you know white people are done but don't get to that right when you take the mic out of the stand have some so so then what because then what will happen is is i'll you know create some type of relationship with someone in the front row i've said something about the the stage and then i'll start tying whatever i said in the beginning into the bits that i already have pre-planned so it's like they're different bits in my head so that's that that's how i do it also you think about like just when you have a good story and you tell it and then you like you go somewhere else and your boy's like yo you got to tell him the story yeah yeah but you have a different audience you know this person's gonna

hear for the first time yeah maybe that person's hearing it for the second time, but this is the first time for them. And it's the same thing. Also, too, one thing I learned, when you tell other people your jokes, whatever advice they give you, I'm not saying it's good advice or bad advice, but it is subconsciously them telling you, this is what I think is funny and this is my sense of humor. And when it's not about them, it's about what you think is funny and what's your sense of humor. I also think even inherently, I know I would, if you were just like, I'm just trying to help you, a part of me would be like, no, I think my way's funnier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's a personal thing. But I think I would, you know, I'd be like. Right. Watch me watch you like the very first time and you're doing like a Bill Clinton impression from like 30 years ago saying like racial slurs. And I'm like, I wish you would have ran that by me. I really wish you would have just—

This guy's doing a Monica Lewinsky joke. I really wish you would have ran it by me. Damn! I also would like to be clear. I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy when we're on stage. Okay. He's going to be fucking—he's going to kill it. When is the first show?

So we do Out of Order, which is a sketch show we do. We're doing that like we're going on tour with it okay and a lot of the other guys are comedians and so they're doing like 10 minutes 15 minutes to start it and i was like i guess i'll just do five we did it he did a thing with tommy smokes who uh it was like uh you write comedy for someone else and you intentionally make it shitty and the person has to go up there and bomb and he like crushed no i was gonna say that that could be fun there were people like that was awesome and it was like he was wearing a guitar on his back for no reason he was telling stories that didn't end there was punch lines that didn't work and he's just like a naturally funny person oh yeah i was like it's just gonna be good it's just gonna be good enough you know well i think that too what will happen are you planning on doing this just once and one time

only you want to continue doing it um i would never do like oh my like that but like on these shows yeah it's like four it's four shows so i'm gonna do five minutes on all four so then i think for that but i think it'll go on like a ten city tour and like i would probably only do it like at out of order shows well right right but i mean i think that will grow well the thing the thing that's going to happen with you too is because it will be fans that you've already gained. Yeah. So they're going to be more forgiving. So if it's just with, I just want to get through these four shows and you prepare on your end and you probably will have a very warm room.

If it's going through comedy like you want to do comedy again, the only way to get good is to perform for people who don't know you. That's why it sucks when you get too famous too quick and too young you know it's better to slave it out like you know nobody knew who i was until i was 10 years into stand-up so i had to perform for strangers for many many many years yeah so that's why that that's how you build up the the skin but if you're already like vinnie guadagnino is going around doing stand-up right he's getting really good he really is i've seen his progression he's working hard but in the beginning it's very difficult for him because they know who he is yeah so when he tries to tell a bit they're kind of like but isn't that vinnie from the jersey short but now it's starting to he's just starting to get he's incorporating that but it takes a while man

that's one of my my favorite steve martin quotes when he quit stand-up because they weren't laughing at his jokes they were laughing at steve martin yeah and i was like that's fucking bad and the friday night late show he said that's why he. And the Friday Night Late Show, he said. That's why he quit. The Friday Night Late Show in stand-up comedy is the hardest for a comic. What's the Friday Night Late Show? People have been working all... Oh, I see.

They do an 8 o'clock show and a 10 o'clock show, and the audiences are typically insanely drunk by Friday night. They're exhausted from work. They are like absolute, just ready to pillage. And then you have to go up there and do stand-up in a comedy club, and then 30 minutes into your set, they do stand up in a comedy club and then 30

minutes into your set they've been sitting there for an hour they've watched the two openers and then 30 minutes into your set they drop the checks in the middle and divide the entire already drunken irate crowd and expect you to do another 30 minutes with these animals while they're already drunk and heckling yeah and it's just i I'm telling you, I think comedy, stand-up comedy specifically, I'm going to experiment with this when I put my shows on sale next year. I'm going to start to do, because I just think we, everybody works from home now

or hybrid enough. I'm going to, and I don't think people want to be out late anymore. I'm going to do my shows at five and seven and see if that works. Really?

Do a five o'clock show on a Saturday and a seven o'clock show on a Saturday and I'll still get two shows. The club still makes the money. I'll still make the money. You're home. You're good. I'm home.

Nobody's out. I'm not asking you because it's a big ask for the audience too, for you as an adult. Bro, I would love a 5 o'clock. With kids and you're sitting there at 1030 like this. Oh, my God. I'm like, oh, you got some guy coming. If I could do like dinner after, like go to 5 o'clock and then go home and eat dinner and shit, I would love that.

Well, it's good because I've- Bro, do it at noon. That's the thing. It's like now, here's the good news. I'm 40 now. I've been doing this a long time. I now know who I am and what I want. So the agents have been trying to talk me out of that's not going to work.

And I'm like, listen, if it doesn't work, then it's on me. I don't care. This is what we're going to do. Where it used to be like, okay, tell me what to do. You're also in a spot where you're getting money and you're safe. Even if it's less money, even if I make less money this way, sell less tickets, I'm like, it's still better for me though. Right, right.

I don't know, dude. I'll just buy more Bitcoin. I'll just invest. I'll keep on that crypto train. Shout out to DraftKings our boy Hubs uh New York rep took down the uh $50,000 uh Stuhlweiber challenge here at Barstool Sports for the first uh few weeks of the NFL season everybody here had to pick one person to score a touchdown and by week uh what six seven whatever we're at seven eight uh Hubs is the winner so now he gets a $50,000 bet that he can place on anything.

So he could place like 50K on like the Yankees. He can't bet the Yankees to win the World Series, but he can bet like an individual game. So imagine that. You're like, it's, you know, you put it like an elimination game. You put 50K up and it's the Yankees. You're already like all gassed up or uh anything else you can pick another uh touchdown pick you could pick an nba bet they are the official sports betting

partner of the nba so we we did king of the uh end zone now we're gonna do king of the court and you can find out at draft kings right now they're offering one million dollars a day in bonus bets for the first 10 days of the NBA season. That's $10 million in bonus bets going out to you. Here's how you shoot your shot. Opt in and get daily NBA profit boost tokens. Pick a pregame NBA player prop to boost. So if that player leads the league that night in points plus rebounds plus assists, you get a share of the $1 million in bonus bets. Once again, pick a pregame NBA player. You get this NBA profit boost token. You bet on that person. Points plus assists plus rebounds. If they win, you split up a million dollars with

all the other people that may have bet your person a million dollars in bonus bets. It's unbelievable. They're offering bonus money. They are offering bonus bets left and right to everybody. So right now, download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use promo code KFC. That is code KFC to win a share of $1 million in bonus bets if your player is king of the court. Only on DraftKings. The crown is yours.

Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

Void in Ontario, one NBA prop bet profit boost per customer. Tokens expire at the start of the final NBA game each day when offered. Use token on PRA stat leader to receive equal share of $1 million in non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 168 hours. Additional wagering restrictions apply. For additional terms and responsible gaming isn't just a priority. It's everything. I'm getting the house renovated. It's been a long and arduous process already.

It's not gone according to plan. And I'm waiting for it because once it's all done and set, we're going to finish it off with the proper security cameras and security system from SimpliSafe to make sure that everything I put into the house stays in the house. I don't want any robberies. I don't want burglars. I don't want break-ins. I don't want burn.

I don't want any arson. I don't want it all to burn down, go away, disappear, or be stolen, and that's where SimpliSafe takes care of it. It's like a new age security. Old school security is like someone's broken into your house. Let's sound the alarm. And by the time the cops are there, they have grabbed everything. They got the safe and they're out.

Now they are protecting your home from people even getting in in the first place with ActiveGuard Outdoor Protection. They are protecting your home from people even getting in in the first place with active guard outdoor protection. It's the only home security designed to prevent the crimes before they happen. So I need that. I got ghosts. I've got weird statues. I got weird animals. There was a snake in the backyard the other day.

There was a fox in the backyard. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm living in some sort of fucking zoo. They have the outdoor cameras enhanced with AI to tell the difference between friendly faces, family, neighbors, people that you see all the time, and potential threats with suspicious individuals. So it's a minority report, but all in the good way where we are making sure that no crime happens. So don't react to just break in. SimpliSafe combines live monitoring, proactive protection, all of it inside and outside your home. So go to SimpliSafe.com slash KFC Radio. That's SimpliSafe, simply with an I,.com slash KFC Radio,

and you're going to get 50% off the new SimpliSafe system, plus a free indoor security camera when you sign up for the Fast Protect monitoring. That's Simpl's simply safe.com slash kfc radio uh why did you not do dancing with the stars you fucking idiot number one achilles tendonitis um and hey if you would if i would have done it then uh dwight howard you would have been with dwight howard it would have been so much dwight howard took my spot i figured that i was he was the next call. Really? I figured that.

They were like, you know what? If we can't get a small gay white man, we'll get a big gay black man. Shout out Club Che Che. I won't say that on Che Che. Shout out Che Che. But I thought that, okay, two reasons. One, you have to be away. Like in LA, I'm in New York.

I was like, this is a long time to leave the kids. I don't want to do this. Oh, yeah. You probably would have won it. Yeah. A hundred percent. Are you kidding me? If I'm going to go in, I'm going New York I was like this is a long time to leave the kids I don't want to do this oh yeah you probably would have won it yeah that 100% are you kidding me if I'm going to go in I'm going to go in

and so and I also was like you know I don't think right now even though yes it'd be funny to talk about in the pod and we would make so much

behind the scenes content I think like right now I want to just do a couple more things in my career before I do that because there is no way around it

with Dancing with the Stars even though I actually don't believe this the public will be like oh i guess your career your career is going down if you're doing that right so that's a stigma that i honestly but i was like i don't want to deal with that yet let me do a couple of big things like maybe what i'm doing next september new york and maybe my hulu special and maybe some other things that are in development at the moment atm but then maybe i'll do it when those things happen or don't happen. I think that's smart. There really is no truth to that.

There is no truth, but I think it's like. It's perception is reality. Right. But to be honest with you, if it was in New York, I probably would have done it. I'd be like,

how cool is this? But I don't want to go to LA and do that. I think that there was someone that could pull it off because like you are so successful that I don't think people would think that you know what i mean like um no they would i'm not successful and like if if uh you know freaking shane gillis did it that'd be different yeah then they'd be like this you're pretty fucking no not no you should see my ticket sales. No, not really. But hey, it's a tough economy. One Instagram story post and everything's sold out?

Yeah. What'd you say? It's not one Instagram story post and everything's all sold out? No, that was fucking... In 2022, I literally was like, oh, dude, I'm doing arenas. And then I was like, oh, it's just because everyone had surplus money yeah from the pandemic and now people are like you know it's like the same dm they're like i don't think it's that i really don't what do you think it is oversaturation yeah i do think that there is a level of like it's just there's just so and it's

not that the product is lesser because there's probably more funny comics than ever sure but it's just like there used to only be a handful of guys that could do it a lot and there was a handful of people that were funny enough to really have a podcast and there's just so much of it that specializes like you're different from him different from her different from them and everybody finds their lane and that's their audience and like there's not a whole bunch of like i have to go see this person right have to do this because you do have five hours a week of their podcast and another 10 hours of this from their show and it's i just think it's too much for people to yeah you know i'm gonna spend my money and go out and see the shows or even the specials it's like it used to be like i'm watching

that special the night it drops and now it's like i'll get to when i get to it because there's so fucking many of them well the ticket it gets like the tickets always come in the last minute you know or or a good enough amount but it is nerve-wracking where it's like oh you know last two years ago you were sold out five weeks before i got to any city now it's like as we're getting there as we're landing i'm like texting my agent like should i turn around dude i don't know how like we we did it for just a little bit and and the nerve-wracking of selling tickets was tough. That's, like, all you do. But I think, well, that's why, like, you know, I think, too, with that is also there's a

lot of people doing comedy. There's a lot of people, or there's just a lot of people performing in general, musicians, comedians. That's another part, too, though. Speakers. The people don't have all this money. They're all really talented, dude. Yeah.

Like, when we started, it was like, there's a couple guys fucking around. Yeah. It's like, I don't blame you for going to listen to the behind the scenes story from the nba yeah and the fucking rappers who are telling all tales from the road i love that you know what i mean it's like yeah we're just regular fucking dudes yeah yeah but you know that's why my friend at the mets game pete was right i'm quitting i'm becoming an electrician it's are are we are we gonna just are we gonna pick a fucking team and stick with it chris no listen to me are we are you going to ride whichever way the wind blows?

Listen to me, dude. Yeah, just for the love of the city? It's good for the city? Listen to me, dude. It's good for the city. Just ride with the billionaire. Just go with Cohen. Like I said on my Instagram post, New York first.

I didn't forget. Did you? Never forget. I thought, you know. You're the worst. I never forgot. You're the fucking worst, bro. So what I will do, because today we're sitting here in the present. We don't know what's I never You're the worst I never forgot You're the fucking worst bro So what I will do

What I will do Because I You know Today we're sitting here In the present We don't know what's gonna happen If you go to the Yankees games This season

I will fucking kill you Here's the thing Forget about your show In that place in New York In February You'll be dead bro Here's the thing Is if

Here's my plan Is if The When I'll still be positive When the Nets win three in a row And do advance to the World Series and then the Yankees will beat the Guardians because, I mean, this is the stupidest name in sports.

So you will beat that team. And then they both go to the World Series. I will sit, I will go to every single game and I will sit there draped in an American flag and I will sit, I will sit in silence and when either team scores a run, I'll just do like that Trump, you know, like when he goes like that little hand motion.

You just give me the Rob Lowe. Yeah, I'll do that. And that's what it is. Because at the end of the day, America wins. Well, here's the truth, folks. Here's the truth. The Coens like you. And that's fine.

Shout out to Anthony who survived Hurricane Milton. The guy just sat there, dealt with it in a bathing suit and a rubber ducky and just dealt with it and he got one down tree and just sat with it was like i'm not he literally exact quote i said it in a in a stand-up bit but it was generally worth 40 goes i'm not leaving because i survived your mother i can survive this i was like shout out shout out and so and so man that ain't the truth it's great so he goes so but but even he we were talking the other day and i was like i was like are you mad that because you know he's from the bronx and he was like he was like you know what he goes at first i was like talking to my you know my

stepmom his wife he goes and i was like you know did i raise a son who's not loyal it was like am i that was like a big thing for me he's like you know i'm coming to the end of my life did i raise a not loyal son and you know sometimes it just takes like a woman to like kind of like take us out of this she was like tony he he you raised him as a yankee fan but then he became friends with the owners of the new york mets it's like if you if you were a mets fan and and and then all of a sudden you tony became friends with steinbren. You would then become a Yankees fan. So she was like, I— But that's fine.

But you can't go back. I'm not. But I— But it sounds like you're going to. No, no, no. The only— You just be a Mets fan from now on. I don't subscribe, though.

I'm New York first. That's what it is. I don't subscribe to the— That's a civil war. And then I guess I know you're voting for this number. That's what you want. So that's— Just be a Mets fan. I am. It's a civil war. And then I guess I know you're voting for this number. That's what you want. So that's. Just be a Mets fan.

I am. It's so gay what you're doing. It's so lame. Yeah, but that's who I. But what are you. Haven't you been my friend for 10 years? You're not lame. You're gay, but you're not lame.

That's what I'm saying. But so. Just fuck the Yankees, man. I can't do that, though, because I don't want to say fuck any New York team. You don't have to say that. Right. But just don't let me catch you in a fucking Yankees jersey

in the Bronx anymore right just go well no in the Bronx I can no don't let me catch you ever again in a Yankees jersey but how am I supposed to

buy weed and not get beat up just be like I I'm gonna tell Steve Cohen to cut you off I'm gonna start a whole internet movement

to cut you off if you become I'm dead fucking serious I will start a whole goddamn movement I'm gonna get Frank the Tank in on it to cut you off i'm gonna start a whole internet movement to cut you off if you become i'm dead fucking serious i will start a whole goddamn movement i'm gonna get frank to tank it on it oh my god you fucking as long as he has pants on sick and tired of looking at his fucking calf cellulite i told kfc that's the only problem i have with this i i don't want the mets to lose but if they did lose at least i wouldn't have to fucking see that it's brutal dude you can't you can't you can switch like what you done, but you can't go back. I want to see you in the World Series being like, Yankee, Yankees.

The World Series is tough. I wouldn't do that. But if they invited me to the game, I would still go. Yeah. But I told you, I'm going to wear an American flag. I mean, we do this to an extent. We don't go back and forth, but we become friends with someone on a team. Sure.

I want them to win. I wouldn't. I'm trying to think. But you're from Boston, right? There is not a thing. So you don't have to deal with this debacle. It's just one team. I know.

But this is the life we live. This is the life we live. There is nothing. I'm sorry your city's fucking second class and you don't have two teams. I swear to God. I genuinely mean. If Aaron Judge was like, I think you are the funniest dude. I want to come on your show.

I want you. Like, I would deny it. I'm almost positive you'd never say that. You would. You wouldn't do it? I would. Not even close, John. Really?

Not even. I would maybe let him on the show. But I would never be like, become a Yankee fan. Yeah. No, no, no. I get that. I would never root for him. He's a nice guy.

So, like, when the Yankees, when the Mets aren't playing, I would root for the Yankees. Like, I'd be like, you could come on the show and I'd be like, I hate you with guy, so when the Mets aren't playing, I'll root for the Yankees. I'd be like, you could come to the show, and I'd be like, I hate you with all my heart, dude. I would obviously be like, listen, I wish death upon you, and now that I met you, I don't want you to get hurt anymore. I won't root for that anymore. But I would never change sides. Yeah, no, I guess I wouldn't change sides. Fucking disloyal motherfucker. I'll tell you this.

I'll tell you this. I'm unwavering with the Knicks and the New York Giants. I don't hate the Jets or hate the Nets, but I would never put on their gear and go to a game. That's the thing. So you can see why we hate it then. Baseball has always, but I don't hate those teams, but baseball has never really been a sport.

I mean, I've cared about it, but I've always been watching every NBA game. So think about if some fucking schmuck was courtside at the Knicks and then in the box with the Nets, you'd hate it. You'd be like, fuck this guy. No, I don't think I would. I would hate it if I saw them at other cities. Like you can't be Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets, Phillies.

But for me, it's always been city first. I've just subscribed to it, and I know it may not be fashionable now, but for the women of the future, it will be. I'm telling you, dude, this is the way we're going. Again, I never forgot. When those towers came down, I said it's New York first. I didn't know you were in ISIS. We had a guy here who missed a baseball stream to go to his 40th birthday party okay and then somehow invoked uh 9-11 as the reason why he was not at the at the game like 9-11 like like 2021 yeah or

he's saying it was on 9-11 2001 it was just that 9-11 happened and and he knows people that had bad things happen uh and that's why he was at his baseball that's why he was at his birthday party to miss a baseball very interesting he interesting. He didn't forget. He didn't. It was straight up like Arrested Development, like when Tobias Funke is like, I think I never really got over 9-11. That's why I can't get his dick hard.

And that was five years after. I still to this day don't jerk off or text. I don't do any – I kind of treat it almost like a Muslim treats Ramadan. Like I clean my body on 9-11. I stay pure. I really do, dude. I stay fully pure. One day a year.

Out my bedroom window, I can see the Freedom Tower, but the light. Only on that week of 9-11. You jerk off, dude. No, I don't. But it fucks with you. It'll make anything less. It's not as dark in my room right now as it usually is right because of 9-11 yes they've shown a light you're not quite as

horny as you usually are i get it no i i yeah it's it's it's a sacred sacred space you know we just found out what otani dayani Day in Japan happens once a month. I believe that. He gets it once a month. Don't Chinese people only celebrate their birthday like once every 10 years? Really? I think that's a thing. Is that true?

That's something my grandpa said, yeah. By the way, this is not good. No Googles. No Googles. No Googles. That's true. By the way, Otani is so good. I swear to God, I said this already, but I saw, I was at the Mets game yesterday, and

Otani hit like that leadoff home run, and I saw a World War II veteran clapping for Otani. I was like, that's how you know, dude. This guy has turned even this World War II veteran around. And he is unbelievable, dude. His posture and the way he holds the bat. Dude, he just stands there like a samurai, and then there's no movement. I'm like, how does he do that? Yeah, it really is.

Is he the best baseball player that's ever lived? No, we were just talking about this, though. Oh, sorry. Like, what he did this year, there's a little bit of – like, he had 50 steals, which is, like, a little bit unique, right? That's nice, yeah. But, like, Albert Pujols did basically what he did for, like, 10 straight years. Right.

What, the 50 and 50? No, but I'm just saying the level of production. Oh, right. Like, it's just – like, Albert Pujols would bat, like, 370 with, like not 50 but i'm just saying the level of production oh right like it's just like albert pools would bat like 370 with like 50 home runs right you know what i mean and he did it for like a decade right so there's just like levels to the hysteria and i think i think him being japanese is a big deal i think the internet's a big deal the new guy's a big deal all that sort of show hey show hey being and he didn't do it this year but like being a pitcher as well. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's insane. People like, I keep forgetting that, that it's like, if everything was normal, like he would have also started game one of this year. Right.

Yeah, and then also played the field like on the off days. Like that's crazy. He could have actually, what position did he play when he was not pitching? Wouldn't he play in the field too? He'd play outfield.

Yeah, he plays outfield. I was watching the game last night. I think he's going to stop. You think so? But he's like, I think he'll go, I think he'll play, he'll pitch as long as he's like a top of the rotation guy. I just think that'll, maybe not, maybe not. Maybe he'll just be great.

But I think as soon as that starts to decline, it's like, I'm just going to fucking mash. You know what I mean? Yeah, just hit. But it's crazy. Like, why not pitch for another three, four years? And then when that naturally happens, now you've got another 10 years. What is he, 27? I don't even know.

I actually don't know either. I was watching him pour when they advanced to the NLCS. I was watching him pour the champagne. They just had a live feed. I don't know why. For like 20 minutes, Fox just went to the DodLCS. I was watching him like pour like the champagne. Like they had like a lot. They just had a live feed. I don't know why. For like 20 minutes, Fox just went to the Dodgers, you know, clubhouse

of them just all no shirts on pouring champagne all over each other. And I was like, this is like kind of like homoerotic and weird. And then he was just like pouring champagne

over like the same guy who like his interpreter or whomever, another Japanese guy. And he was like, and then he would give it another it was like almost like a ritual i was like what is this guy doing and why is this not all over i was watching like this is so weird that was probably being like broadcast to like tokyo

you know what i mean like a uh fucking times square billboard did you see the numbers i can't you had tough connection with the stream last night um and you were at the game so you didn't see it or hear it. The American audience for game 5 of the DS was like 9 million people or something like that watched the game and the Japanese audience despite it being 9am

start time on Saturday was 17 million. Wow. It's just a whole other level. Almost double this entire country. Like, the Dodgers themselves as a franchise probably are doing business, like, entirely. They're just like, we have to think about Japan. Yeah, right. We'll make sure Los Angeles and Americans are, like, happy.

But, like, let's make sure our broadcast is in Japan. Let's make sure our, you know what I mean? Dude, Japan is like America was, like, in the 50s. Like, they're just all about baseball, all about patriotism, support everyone. That's why you got to watch out. They're fucking coming strong. Do the right thing this November. Dude, what's Tampa Tony going to do if it goes south, if it doesn't go his way?

He's not going to be happy. The election. The election? Yeah. Well, I think my father, know he says you know he says every single day he says to me i'm i'm happily living in the free state of florida so he still believes so he believes he will be untouched and unscathed and hurricane nothing wasn't gonna stop him he believes that um but i think that you know i think he's kind of at the you know he's in his

twilight years now so i think he kind of just i think he doesn't give a shit and i think his whole thing is like you you the internet is making everything you know so much worse than it actually is he's like look outside your door yeah do you see he's like just the other day he goes look outside your door are you in gaza yeah no you're not you're in queens yeah go to go get a bagel yeah you know so he's like don't let the internet yeah yeah yeah because that's the thing like even though my dad's not formally educated he's just street smart and like he can connect with people so he's like the internet obviously doesn't this is he told me that i remember in 2009 he was like twitter is going to ruin society and i was like why nobody was saying that then like it's tough

to remember but like nobody foresaw these social media issues like even everybody was on like we love it we're connecting oh an old facebook friend i haven't seen you in 20 years like but he immediately was like this is bad because he was like what's going to happen is he was like not everyone's supposed to be talking only a few people talk and the rest listen yeah he's like that's how society works but now everyone's going to be talking and he was like you're going to start to get knuckleheads everywhere that come up with stupid ideas and there's going to be problems because they're all going to have their own little their own little uh networks or whatever he said and basically he said what is happening now comedy podcast yeah 15 years ago yeah it's called us he was like not everyone's supposed to be talking not everyone's supposed to have everything and i'm

like true true true true yeah we said that we said that i think it was to uh cat temp was a fox news host but i know it was like the only time I ever felt we've ever gotten pushback. We're like, free speech, probably. Too many people have it. And she's like, well, I don't know about that. Yeah. It was more of a joke than anything. I kind of believe it.

I'm all for making every form of social media. I'm all for making it like $30 a month. Yeah. I'm all for keeping it high. Or I'm also all for, even if it would destroy my own ticket sales, I'm all for banning it. I'm all for get rid of it. I'm all for that because I kind of want to go back to the way it was.

I find myself thinking about what 2010 was like so much in my life where I'm like, I had nothing. I was like, but this way, I don't know everything that's going on. I'm not taking in news all day.

I feel like you took a good social media break for a while. You back on it? And then I slowly crept back because they don't get you, dude. Yeah. And especially if you start to see like – I feel like all of a sudden if work starts to not go as well, you're like, well, I got to do what I got to do. That's how I felt. That's how I felt. And that's the same – that's I think our version of like going to work every day and eating shit from your boss

that like a billion americans do to make their paycheck yeah it's like oh i would love to not be on social media but i don't keep up with the times i'm not making as much content i'm not as relevant i don't you know what i mean they're all just snowballs i wish that if there's one thing like that you know like like the guys that made it before the guys that fucking you know caked and made all this money you know years ago like in comedy specifically it the guys that fucking you know caked and made all this money you know years ago like in comedy specifically that's the only thing you know

I know like sitcom stars and all that I'm like that's that would be amazing like you know you look at like a I don't know Ray Romano

I'm sure he doesn't even have a hundred thousand followers he doesn't need them he doesn't care he's already he already crushed it I wish I had that and you were like right

right there in the grand scheme of like time though like if you were just a few years earlier you could have maybe been that but And you were like right there. In the grand scheme of time though. Yes. Like if you were just a few years earlier, you could have maybe been that. But now it's like you deal – I know that every generation has shit to deal with. But this like constant influx of information and you have to do it if you want this career. It's tough.

I wonder though if a guy like Ray Romano was like, are you kidding me? When I was like 25, if I could just put out a post on social media and sell my tickets. That's true too. Rather than doing fucking 6 a.m. radio and blah, blah, you know? That's true. There's all given takes. Just probably bad-sized everything. But I would love to be disconnected.

I would love to not know what's happening. When do you think you'll do that? Well, I thought – that's the problem is I thought I was there for – I feel like a drug addict who relapsed and now I have no confidence because I was out for a year. For one year, I did not sign into my... I had the guy who I have still... By the way, the same guy still runs my social media. I just am in it. So there's a lot of times like, hey, we double posted

because you told me to post this at 7, but you posted at 3 o'clock because you're insane. Every six months with our guy who's not here right now, I'll go, change the password! Change it! I'm out! I'm out! And then I tell him, alright, the Mets are making a run. I gotta get back in there. When you're in it it are you in it like like your comments your everything or you're just posting so what i will do is i will post but then i'll

stay on it for like the first 10 15 minutes and i'll start commenting back to people you know like whatever getting involved and like just do 15 minutes but then 15 minutes will turn into 30 and i'll stop posting and then i'll start reading an article and then I'll start – you start looking at your messages. Then you start going on other social media apps and you're like, you know what? Just put it down. And then you're like, oh, but you know what? My meditation app is on my phone. So let me go put that on.

Isn't that funny? You need a fucking app to meditate. Meditate. So it's like it just fully gets you at all times and I hate it and it's one of those things where it's like the lung doctor that's like, don't smoke. They know all the best, but then they're fucking dying of lung cancer because they're smoking. I've heard it like we've said it. Everyone said it forever that it's addiction. It's addiction.

And I always thought we were just kind of being dramatic as people. But I don't really use it. And I use it, but I don't really look at anything. And I'll be talking to people here. I'm like, well, just don't look at stuff. And they're like, don't really look at anything and like i'll be talking to people here i'm like well just don't look at stuff and they're like i literally can't what oh baby it is actual it is no no it's like it's like i used to i used to you know not judge but i used to you know i had a friend say it to me like this once he was like you know he was like alcoholic right and and i alcohol i always my whole life i could just take her to leave it i didn't care i was like you know whatever i drink could just take it or leave it. I didn't care.

I was like, you know, whatever I drink, don't drink. It doesn't matter. It didn't have like a power over me. And then, and then, but he was an alcoholic, got in recovery, whatever. And then I was like, you know, like all that time, like, you know, like, you know, like, couldn't you just like not drink? And he was like, well, you know how you love sweets and muffins and like, you need a chocolate chip muffin every day of your life.

I was like yeah he was like imagine i told you that that muffin every day was you couldn't have it what would you do i was like i wouldn't want to live he's like that that was alcohol we always talk about this sugar might be the worst dude he was like alcohol i wake up every morning being like i'm not gonna do it tonight and then the night rolls around and i put on like a movie and i'm like yo i got out of snack and I cannot stop myself and sugar's the same on birds it might be worse for you like bio biologically than alcohol is yeah but but so I was like oh so that's what it is with social media too some people like dude there's people who grew up who are of our age that they're just not addicted to the phone and they just are not they just are not and I I I

don't know why i am you know but i am i think i think i think the field you work in i was gonna say because all of my real like not real friends everyone's my real friend but not everyone are they real people like like all my friends i grew up with none of them like use social media they have it maybe they you know yeah look here and there they like you know post their kids like some other kids photos but they're not like yeah you know there is something too about like that just having like you know i got a nine to five i got i have a begin date and an end date it's the best that's my career whereas you know

we do we're like i don't know also there's someone who's open-ended i'm always a schedule called me the other day and they're like when are you free i don't know just call me when you're ready if i'm on a podcast i won't answer if i'm doing something i won't answer back in an hour pretty much call just call me when you call me i also think there's something to um when when you know you've been lucky enough to have some some success it's like this sky is kind of the limit yeah so it's like every minute you're not working you're you're not growing like if you're just like you know i'm not smart enough to like be the fucking head of the hedge fund right i can like trade or whatever i can have this job but but with the internet and this shit it's like the dumbest of the dumb the

luckiest of the lucky can go so it's like every time you're not working i'm kind of like well maybe i should be because that's an american thing though because like people in england like when I was doing shows over there in England, they couldn't – I mean it happens. But if I would like sold out a show and then added one, a lot of the comics are like, why would you add one? And I was like, oh, it's more money. I'm here, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but don't you want to like go to dinner like after the show? Really? Don't you want to just like enjoy –

Life? Life? Because it's not – because over there, it's like – And then you add the second show and you're mad. You're upset the second show is not selling. Of course. And it's like. And then you add the second show and you're mad, you're upset the second show is not selling. Of course. And it's like,

I should be happy the first show sold out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm mad that the second show is half empty. We don't celebrate the wins because America's more, more, more.

So it's like, how do you know, I don't know how, I gotta bring a British attitude to American life. Express is all about creating confidence. I remember going to Express

when I was in maybe like seventh grade and buying a like royal blue button down, button up shirt along with a bunch of the other ones. The 1MX shirts that were like soft and stretchy but also like bright, vibrant colors. And I remember being like, I'm the belle of the ball. We used to go to this thing called Friday Night Lights, Jackie. It was like a dance a school dance was that even like a thing for you guys besides like prom did you have school

dances uh like homecoming um yeah yeah just big ones did you have like regularly like friday night there's a dance at the school i think it was like once a semester like once a quarter i mean i guess that actually you know we probably had a few a year maybe i feel like they were no but it was like once a semester, like once a quarter. Hmm. I mean, I guess that actually, you know, we probably had a few a year. Maybe I feel like they were. No, but it was Friday Night Lights. It was every Friday. You could go. The main gym had a DJ and like a dance party.

And then there was another gym where people would like play basketball. Like it was like the guys would try to impress the girls by playing hoops. But then the people wanted to dance were in there. This is every Friday. I think it was like the guys would try to impress the girls by playing hoops. But then the people who wanted to dance were in there. This is every Friday? I think it was like every Friday. Like the fall or something like that. It was like you want to play basketball and impress girls. But I would go get my express outfit and rock that.

And so now as an adult, seeing that I can get high-quality suits and the comfy T-shirts and I'm still rocking it. Whether you were, you know, whether I did this 20 years ago or today, Express has been in the game forever. They got the perfect Pima cotton T-shirt. They got the hyper stretch jeans. They got the one of X shirts. They got the modern tech suits. I'm looking at what I'm going to get one of the modern tech suits. I'm thinking about getting a light gray one of the modern tech suits i'm thinking about

getting a light gray one but i don't know i feel like that doesn't work with my complexion no no you think so i don't know we're gonna have to find out yeah we're gonna have to find out so i'm gonna get a modern tech suit it's wrinkle resistant it's machine washable you can wear it again and again and again uh it's an elevated look while staying practical. You don't have to dry clean it every time. It's not like I'm never going to wear this suit again. This is something you can wear all the time along with other comfortable other gear. So use code SADBOYSSEASON for 20% off your purchase online at express.com or in-store.

That's code SADBOYSSEASON, S-Z-N, for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in-store. That's code SADBOYSSEASON, S-Z-N, for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in-store. At this point in my life, I wake up in the morning, I get the kids ready, I drive into work, we do the podcast, I get back, I gotta pick them up from school and or take them to their practices. I never eat breakfast or lunch.

I haven't had anything today. My stomach is legit growling and that's where Huel comes along. The nutritionally complete ready to drink meal. H-E-H-U-L-E. H-U-E-L. I've been really struggling to spell Huel the last couple ads. It's fuel, but with an H. And every time I'm like H-L-U- U L it's H U E L Huel, the world's number one nutrition brand trusted by millions. So whether it's the busy mornings like myself or the late nights or just powering up to get through the day, uh, you're going to need yourself a Huel, whether you're talking about the, uh, nutrition or we have here the mix you can make.

This is the black chocolate edition. Right here is your daily greens that comes with vitamins and probiotics and antioxidants. This right here is the chocolate-flavored ready-to-drink meal. It's got 35 grams of protein. Bro protein bro 35 i haven't had 35 grams of protein in like my last like three meals combined oh ah and it's like a chocolate shake 27 minerals seven grams of fiber it's unbelievable man so i drink. I don't need to worry about, uh, any of my missing my meals. I'm not eating enough because I get everything that I need from Huel perfectly balanced. Uh, it it's for your most inconvenient times where you got to have it on the go.

And it tastes so delicious that you're not even thinking about like, Oh, it's my, uh, it's, I need this cause I can't have a meal. It's like you're looking forward to it. So right now, go to my.huel.com. My.huel, H-U-L-E, H-U-E-L. I'm like dyslexic. You can't do it. Why? What's wrong with me? Why?

And I was focusing. I was like, don't get it wrong this time. And I did it again. Last time I literally said – I cut it, don't get it wrong this time. And I did it again. Last time I literally said, I cut it out, but I said it to you. And I just repeated it back indirectly. It's like I have some sort of like brain blockage. It's my.h-u-e-l.com slash KFC 15. Unlock a healthier, easier way to eat with Huel.

Nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters. That's my.huel.com slash KFC15. But also, if you're not online so much, you do miss fun stuff. Like I learned today that Zelda Fitzgerald used to make fun of F. Scott Fitzgerald's dick so much that he showed it to Hemingway.

And Hemingway was like, I also heard... Very interesting. Wait, what did Hemingway say? Hemingway went, totally come on. I also heard. Very interesting. Wait, what did Hemingway say? What did Hemingway say? Totally normal dick. Circumcised or uncircumcised, what do you think? Were they doing it back then?

No. I bet that guy had a covered wagon. Yeah. I don't even know. What era are we talking? Early 20s? That's what I thought. Yeah.

I heard. Then maybe. Then maybe. Was Zelda Fitzgerald the one who was out of her fucking mind nuts? No. Who's the one who was out of her mind nuts? This is what I heard. Yeah. I heard her. Then maybe. Then maybe. Was Zelda Fitzgerald the one who was out of her fucking mind nuts? No. Who's the one who was out of her mind nuts? This is what I heard. Yeah.

I heard she wrote all of his shit in like her memoirs. She had like a memoir or like a journal or something like that. That was like very similar to the Great Gatsby and all this shit. And he took them and uh published them became like the guy that he is and then when she was like those are my fucking stories he was like she's crazy she's crazy that bitch is crazy and everyone was like oh she's crazy she was just like no i wrote the fucking stories now i don't know if that story is true too but that's what i heard just like the other day it's crazy you brought him up very interesting imagine her just

being like those are my stories and he's like that bitch needs a lobotomy. And it was the 1920s, so everyone was like, fuck her. Throw her in asylum. She's a woman. Dude, I want to grow my hair out like you. What's that? I want to grow my hair out like that. That's why I'm wearing hats now, because I'm in the in-between phase. How long did it take for you to grow it to that length?

I want it to fucking come out of the back like waves and fire. He said the other day he gets his hair cut once a year. Once or twice a year. But what do you mean, cut mean cut like they trim it no i cut i cut it short like probably to whatever like really like that no you still have pretty long hair in the back too i i need a haircut right now there's it's it's short like it's not like the top still has hair but like the sides are pretty short but so like what do you do you just don't shave like you just shave yourself and you just don't get shape ups you just let it grow yeah you don't even get shape ups he's got a good head uh hair for that though do you think i don't i you just don't get shape-ups. You just let it grow. Yeah. You don't even get shape-ups.

He's got a good hair for that, though. Do you think I don't? I mean, it's messy right now. I think – because you have kind of wavy hair, right? I do have wavy hair. You've got a good hairline. You'll be fine. Yeah.

You'll be fine. But how long is it going to take me to get to that? I would guess I got a haircut before summer. So I would guess like May maybe. But you think even the shape-ups are stupid. Don't get shape-ups. You've never had it tight like that. That's going to take a long time.

I get it pretty close to that, don't I? Yeah. There's no buttons involved. For like ever, I was getting like tape-ups and shit. He's getting the clippers. No, no clippers are involved. But I'm always like taking it as short as you will. Yeah.

I think here is going to take a little while for you. The top will go. The top is going. Your side's pretty short now it's like just bushy I kinda look like a dick yeah and when you wear a hat

it like pumps out right here but it's not like flowing yet but I need it to flow cause his just looks cool that just takes time bro as long as it's there flown by Club Shay Shay that's all we're good to do

get the black audience tell me also like tweet at me May 12th May 12th is the last time you got a haircut yeah let me know when what I should do some tips to get more black fans Tell me also, like tweet at me. May 12th. May 12th is the last time you got a haircut? Yeah.

Let me know when, what I should do. Some tips to get more black fans. I want the Barstool fans. Hashtag GTBA. Chrissy, GTBA. Let's go. Get the black audience. Get the black audience, dude. That's the key here.

I mean, you've exhausted the whites. The whites, if they're in, they're in. If they're not in, they're not in. It's like politics almost. I get it, dude. You're voting for Trump. You're voting for Trump. You're voting for Kamala.

You either know Chris by now and you like him or you don't. But the blacks is a whole different story. Blacks are ripe for the taking right now. How do I get the blacks? Were you – Maybe we edit that part out. You might take that one. Yeah, or clip it.

It's up to you. Were you – Boom or doom? Bro, that guy came by? Clinically insane. Yo, yo. Yeah. I can't stop talking about this Because we had

The Rizzler And then the Boomer Doom People came by here And this place Lit up like Of course bro No not I was like

Bro The one kid's eight Could you imagine Big Justice Or the Rizzler I don't know I think the Rizzler Could you ever imagine

Geeking out over an eight year old No it's weird That's weird It's weird We had Glennie Balls changed his flight To ever imagine geeking out over an eight-year-old? No, it's weird. That's weird. It's weird. Glennie Balls changed his flight to make sure he was here for an eight-year-old. I mean, that tracks for Glennie Balls, but that guy's going to jail for pedophilia. 100%. His name's Glennie Balls.

So he's going to be in prison. I mean, it's just their children and their parents are, like, crazy. They also have the, like crazy they also have the like buzzing i believe such confidence that like i i i i don't i'd say i'd kill for it but i don't think i'd want it where like they came in they walked in here and they were just shocked i didn't know who they were like not i knew who they were i'd seen their tiktoks i'd seen like them around but like i didn't know their whole spiel like like they had a tray of cookies with them and I was like, oh, what do we got here? I like a chocolate chip muffin.

And they were like, double chocolate chunk cookies. I was like, I don't know what that means, man. And apparently it's their whole thing. And I was like, to walk into someone else's studio and be like, how the fuck do you not know who I am? When you're just like the guys who eat cookies at Costco. We're not talking like you didn't win an Academy Award. Yeah. Like the whole world has seen you.

But that's at this point. I've been famous for two weeks. You don't know who I am. That clip of when he was, like, you've seen the one, like, it's behind the scenes

where he's like, say it like this, do it again. And I was just like, oh, this is bad, man. It's bad. Yeah,

I mean, my kids, obviously my kids see it, they're on YouTube, so they were like, oh, look, I knew the Rizzler. But listen, you start to go, boom, it's fun. Yeah, yeah. They're on YouTube. So they were like, oh, look. I knew the Rizzler.

But listen, you start to go, boom. It's fun. It's fun stuff. He does the eyebrow thing or whatever. It's fun stuff. But I don't want to be anywhere near it. But it is fun. It is fun.

I get it. I enjoy it. I'm like, oh, these guys are good. But I don't want to do stuff with them. Are your kids on YouTube? I was going to say, speaking of fun stuff that you don't want to be anywhere near, I learned about something the other day, yesterday. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. I think it's awesome. I don't want to be anywhere near. Yeah. I learned about something the other day, yesterday. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard.

I think it's awesome. I don't want to be anywhere near it. We have a podcast here, Minahan Show, Kirk Minahan Show. Oh, this is fucking awesome. Where they have a guy. So I guess assisted suicide is legal in Maine now. Is it? Vermont.

Vermont. Change my flight. And they're going to do one of their fans wants to die at his live show. They call him Dying Guy. And so they're going to do an assisted suicide at his live show. And I was like, that's bonkos. Like, cool. Good for the guy dying.

He's going to go on a cool way. Good for everyone who wants to send him out on a cool way. I do not want to be anywhere near that i just kind of feel like that is very very dicey for that guy even though i know assisted suicide is legal and all that stuff i could easily see though somebody making a case saying this guy wanted to do the assisted suicide maybe wanted to before but he kind of fast-tracked it because he wanted to do it on the show and you were kind of convincing him to do it i just would that just seems like a legal mess i think i believe kirk said it's a legal tightrope yeah because it's a little bit of a legal tightrope

to walk yeah because it has to be in a house they i guess they i thought you go to like a clinic they like give you a pill or something sure home so he wants he's like i'm only doing it if it's like a full live show how old is he the guy he's young he you've seen the picture i mean he looks really old but he's in his 30s does he have is he sick at all yeah yeah yeah yeah this is not just a regular yeah he's not i gotta call him dying guy because he's dying he's got stage four cancer you know stage five yeah i should have been clear that that that that's a big stage five when i well i guess his his podcast is called stage five so okay okay i think stage five is death yeah okay got it yeah so i can see him being like i want to

go out in like a crazy ass way like let's let's throw a party let's do this i love podcasting i love your show but i think that's a very i think that's a thing that's good in practice and then when you do it you're just sitting there like yeah but the problem is the problem is the assisted suicide is probably a relatively boring death you take a pill and you just go to sleep if you're going to do that for the show for the ratings light yourself on fire blow your head off with one of those t-shirt guns you know what you need you need one of those things on the internet like they like those rube goldberg things you know what i'm talking about we're like oh the dominoes fall and it hits there and then like the pill falls

in your mouth at the end. So it's like five minutes of watching this thing and the pill just, I think that, I think that it's a wild, I think that there's no end to the content machine

that we are all living in. Truly. And I think, it starts happening. It's just up to us to be like, what do you want to, you can consume it all. Like I said, the boomer doom, I genuinely like them.

I'm like, I'm interested in them. But, you know, and they've never asked me to do a pod or be in a pod. I doubt they even know who I am. But I'm just – I'm like, I get that. But I just – I don't want to be a part of it. There will be somebody who says the pill thing was boring. Like, I will blow my head off on camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We should – we as a country, country as a people as a race should probably draw the line there yeah yeah i say i say yeah but again it's going to a level where like you can't i really think that even like ai you know is getting so crazy and good and i think like we're in so much turmoil at times as a country that i think we're probably living in a time where we're going to be begging as people to just be ruled by AI. Get rid of the human presidents. Get rid of our system. Just have AI do it.

And then they'll be fair. Black and white. Right? That's what it is. Get all the Chinese and Puerto Ricans out. No, I'm kidding. No, no. Black and white where it's like there are no emotions here.

These are the rules type thing. I feel like that's going to happen in my life i i always think that with with ai stuff like i feel like i always kind of like reject that where people are like dude why are we doing every time a boston dynamics video comes out robotics they're like why are we doing this haven't you seen the terminator i'm always like well i've seen how it ends in the worst case scenario yeah like yeah i when my buddy's having a son i'm not like bro haven't you seen john q like it's that's that's how that's the worst way it could go like there are don't give him a wow on that i haven't heard i haven't heard anyone reference the movie john q since i was in high school that's awesome dude that that i'll weep at john q i will be dude puddle have you watched the show On Apple TV? I'm not gonna bury my son

Yeah it's amazing He's gonna bury me He's one of the best actors By the way of all time I know he gets credited But he should really be like In everyone's top three Yeah

How is he not? He's in the new Gladiator Yes And he just did his regular voice Love it Said like I'm not doing the accent If it's a choice by Denzel I stand by that choice

There's a movie where he did A British accent when he was younger, and it's so bad. I think he was just like, nope. Yeah. Not going to do it. You know that the beam of him where he's like, I'm leaving him with something. Yeah. I saw that full clip the other day for the first time.

Do you know what he's talking about? It's such a funny story where it's a very early, probably early 90s Oscars, and he was nominated for Best Actor for i forget what and another guy was on uh who was also nominated is going on stage to present and he's like he's like and he got a three minute stand ovation to present so i knew i wasn't winning but then he's like but then i saw behind the curtain a bunch of uh what do you call it like lunch prep and he's like i saw a bunch of some kind of food and he's like I saw a bunch of some kind of food and he's like

so what kind of tray went back there and I'm like I'm leaving here with something I knew I wasn't getting that Oscar but I'm leaving

with something from around the way have you guys seen on Apple TV Slow Horses yeah bro that was one of the shows

that gripped me like I was in I was downloading it to watch it on planes. Every moment of free time, I could not get enough of that show. I love that show. Apple TV from Presumed Innocent to Bad Monkey to Slow Horses. Now Disclaimer's out. I don't know if you've seen that.

What's that one about? It was last Friday. The first two episodes came out. So a new episode's out today. It's Cate Blanchett and Kevin Kline. And she's like a – I wouldn't say powerful, but she's a well-to-do woman. I don't know what – she's been very successful in her career. Her husband, Sacha Baron Cohen, is also very successful.

They're doing great. And then it becomes very clear – I'm not going to give you spoilers. It's like it all happens in the first episode. But it becomes very clear that she cheated on her husband 25 years ago when she was on vacation. And something happened to the guy she cheated with. And he's dead now. He died that weekend. And his mom, who just died, had written a memoir.

Kind of like what you're saying about F. Scott Fitzgerald. And the husband publishes it. And he sends her a copy. And it's all about that weekend. And it seems crazy. But something must have happened. Because so far, the whole story is like, she had an affair 25 years ago and i've never been married but if we're doing great and i and i find out 25 years ago you fuck the guy and he's dead now at best case scenario yeah i'm like

oh we can let that one slide yeah dude yeah i feel the same way about that like even like me like kids like if some 21 year old kid showed up as like you're my biological dad i literally i just be like you know what let's make one more room let's make more room for dinner make that reservation six instead of five like then who gives a shit we'll figure out the dude on uh love is blind right now uh he he gets married to the girl right or they're about to get married and she finds out somehow some way that he has kids and he tells her that they were sperm donor kids uh and and she's still bugged out about that she's like you didn't tell me that you like had and his story was he had friends who like couldn't conceive so he gave them the sperm which is already kind of yeah with and then

she's like do the kids know what you look like and he goes i don't think so and like another week goes by and his baby mama comes out and she's like we have a family like these are these are his kids and he and that's awesome and it said hashtag threw it all away for a reality show like he just went on love is blind with kids pictures of him matching pajamas on christmas morning just like had a family he was divorced so he's like you know you can go look for other uh you know a relationship but then got caught with kids, then said they were sperm donors. Now they're just kids that are yours. What an idiot! It's just like you're going on a show that is wildly popular.

You're going to get caught because you have kids. That's an awesome lack of foresight. You're 100% going to get caught. There is nothing certain in this world. That was guaranteed certain to happen, that you're going to be on the most. I kind of love this guy now. I know, he's the best. There is nothing certain in this world. That was guaranteed certain to happen. That you're going to be on the most. I kind of love this guy now. I know.

He's the best. Is he still on or is he not now? So I don't know myself. If I was going to be like, I'm keeping this guy. He's gone. The reunion is going to be on October 30th. So the reunion. Because the girl found out in real life, but the show had already aired.

So now we're going to get to see her knowing that. So she's going to go ballistic, bro. Bro. She's going to be like, you had kids. You got to see the clip when she's like, do the kids know what you look like? And he's just like, I don't think so. Dude, to go on a dating reality show, I don't think – there's actually no amount of money that you could give me to i want to do that even if i was like totally if i didn't have any of that shit like i just don't want you seeing

my game you know i want to see you oh you don't watch me kissing i don't want to see me crying i can't i mean just like the shit i mean think about like a society like a hundred years ago like seeing us like what we're doing like capital capitalizing on, like causing drama with people, ruining people's lives to sell an ad. Think about that. Like how crazy, crazy, crazy that is. But then again, there was the Salem witch trials back in the day.

Which they say, every of that they just say that was like a weed in the ground. They say that some scientists think that, I forgot what it was called, but there was an herb or a wild weed that was growing out of the ground in the Salem, Massachusetts area

that they were unknowingly like chopping up and putting in their food. And specifically because of like, you know, women have higher estrogen, it was interacting with the estrogen and making them absolutely nuts and making everyone kind of in hysteria, causing like mass hysteria.

And that happened because the same weed was found in France where they also had some type of witch trial thing. Really? So you could say that that just happened naturally or, you know, the Illuminati put its plant in there. Tell me. I just learned. Look, to be very clear, I read the Wikipedia page.

So I didn't see that part. But I kind of saw it where a lot of it was about property. The town just hated each other. It was about property lines. They were just fucking people up. But I also didn't know it was 19 people. It wasn't that big of a deal. Five were guys.

Giles Corey, did you ever read the story of Giles Corey? Pressed. they called it pressing do you know how they would just put they just put a rock on like right there I mean what a bunch of dicks and they would watch it

right that's like dying guy then they would throw people that's like dying guy taking the pill on the podcast they would just all watch until somebody gets smushed you assist suicide

on that guy's podcast pressing to death I'm watching that I'll see let's see how this goes but I mean you know do you think that it eventually pops or do you think you just on that guy's podcast, Pressing to Death, I'm watching. Let's see how this goes. Do you think that it eventually pops or do you think you just... I would imagine your internal organs get crushed.

But is there like a straw that broke the camel's back or it just like slowly... I would think it's a rib cracks and stabs your heart. Or your lungs just fall off. That's how you die of a crucifixion. It wasn't really the nails.

Most people got crucified weren't even nailed. They were roped. It's just you can't a crucifixion. It wasn't really the nails. Most people who got crucified weren't even nailed. They were roped. It's just you can't, when your arms are like, you can't breathe. Your diaphragm won't go up. You push yourself up on your feet, right? You can only do that for so long. You can't do that. They also fucking stab you with a spear, you know?

But only Jesus, they did that. They didn't do that with every crucifixion. Read the case for Christ. That was the important part of the Salem Witch Trials. Yes. That it was the death of theocracy in america yes it wasn't america at the time but it was when we realized that that was not a viable option this is getting a little crazy but it's so puritanical that's the thing though that was america's puritans puritanical society like that's how we are now still it's just like not as dude like even like with sex like being like

taboo or you know cheating or all that it's like go to france they don't give a fuck if you just can't fall in love with someone yeah but like if you fuck somebody they're like all right why'd you do that stupid and then you move on it's like it's such a strange just like you put your body part in a body part and we we decide that that is i'm done with the done with the stress. America is like everything's got to be a fucking problem. I posted a GoFundMe the other

day just helping out a friend who has cancer and instead of people... I donated but instead of people donating what were my messages? Why can't you just pay the GoFundMe? Yeah. Remember when Jeff Bezos donated a hundred million dollars? And people were like that's only xyz percent of his yeah a hundred yeah it's so much money i did also see that he makes it in 11 hours

i was like i was like oh dude i was at a comedy club last weekend and i was at a comedy club last week and they were saying uh a comic who does very, very, very well, like worth millions and millions and millions of dollars, gave the staff, the entire staff of the comedy club, you know, wanted to split between maybe it was 10 workers. He gave them an extra $5,000. He just gave them $5,000. And these people were not happy. They were like, yeah, but think about how much money he makes. I'm like, dude, you all just got an extra $500 each. That's not what you make in a week at this comedy club.

He just gave it to you. What the fuck are you talking about? That's crazy. But that's why you're you and he's him. There's a part of that too. It's like you think like everyone's out to get you and you have all this resistance in your life where that guy just went out there and fucking became who he became, which I will tell you on the Patreon. Who it was. All right, bud. We appreciate you, man on the Patreon, who it was. Yeah.

All right, bud. We appreciate you, man. Thank you for coming through. I love you. Thank you. Love you too, Chris. Love you, Bill. See you on Club Shay Shay.

Club Shay Shay. Tell me what I need to do to get the blacks. Get the blacks. We say February 21st is when the special? February 21st is when the Hulu special comes out.

Next year in New York. Be next year in New York. Be here in September. In a bigger building. And the YouTube. Yes, and the YouTube.com says Christy Comedy every Sunday, 7 p.m. Eastern time. You see this week's material.

That's so smart. Some of it's material, some of it's crowd work, some of it's a mix. We have a fun thing. I talk about if you stay tuned for after the videos, I usually go through what I liked, what I didn't like. It's just more content for me. And hopefully you guys enjoy it and still also want to come out to my shows because I desperately need it.

Even if you're white. Even if you're white. Yes, even if you're white, you can come. សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បាាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.