KFC Radio - Clancy & The Rockets: How To Date At Barstool and Best of Week 9 (featuring Caleb Pressley)

Episode Date: January 21, 2019

KFC & Kayce break down how weird it is for Barstool people to date and completely freak out Ellie's mom. Best of Week 9 includes: (20:45) Jared demanding his own business card, would Kayce date a serial killer, Jared vs Fran, (40:20) Jared vs Bizzaro Jared, (44:15) Bootleg CDs and fake IDs, house parties, drinking in the woods, cops taking your beer, Four Loko, (1:11:16) reaction to Adam Gase and Caleb's Ace Of Spades story,  (1:30:46) has Kayce ever done the whipped cream bikini from Varsity Blues? Find out now!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, Clancy and the Rockets, best of week 8. A little more fire for you right now. Me and Casey, I'll hit you off with a little original segment so it's not just all repackaged material from the week of radio. The Rocket is currently doing some nerdy baseball shit. No, he's having people get his autograph. He's probably walking around trying to give autographs, and people are like, dude, we don't want your autograph.

I said that on radio. I said he's probably setting up his booth next to all the Red Sox because he is the Rocket, and he thinks he won a World Series. And did you see what he tweeted back at me? What did he say? Fuck you, Casey. That was it. I was like, spot the lie, though.

Don't hate the move, though. Just short and sweet to the point. Fuck you, Casey. But like, spot the lie. You and I both know that he is going to be signing some sort of autographs and that if it was up to him, he would have his own autograph table at Winter Weekend at Foxwoods. You know he would. Again, like, whatever.

Spot the lie, Jared. I know you're upset that people don't want your autograph as much as JD Martinez. It's me and Casey here on a Friday afternoon while he's traveling. We, we just got out of radio and we wrapped up talking about the trying to balance the work life balance at Barstool sports,

balancing your job and your personal life and your romantic life in any job is hard. I would say harder for guys. But what do I know? I think it's there's more pressure on a guy because girls are more needy. Yes, I can say that. I'm God, the female on the show. I can say that. But it's true.

Like girls, is it more needy or needy or whatever it is? That's what we are. We are the neediest. So, yeahier whatever it is that's what we are we are the neediest so yeah i mean that's the truth it is i do think that there are still some kind of archaic caveman type of vibes where it's like i do think there's pressure on the guy to be the provider and and the career is important and not that girls can't do that but i do think there is pressure i think the hardest thing with i was to, I was talking to somebody the other day, this is a stoolie that I kind of connected with one of these guys, as I did pod fathers

in KC radio, where one of these guys reaches out and he's like, I honestly think you're talking about like my life. Sometimes we like line up on everything and cause a lot of it is pretty relatable and so um i was saying to him i think that like this generation like my age right now is and i'm very careful as i say this because i know that being like a white american male is just about as easy as it gets in this world so i am very aware of all my privilege, gender and race-wise. But now that you're being self-aware. Right.

But I do think that this will be kind of the first generation that is learning how to balance and manage and keep happy an independent career woman in your life. I'd agree with that. Because there's a lot more of that now, and we really kind of are the first, maybe the first or one of the first generations where every girl has got the opportunity

to have a great career, and you're seeing female CEOs and high positions, and there's a lot more situations where the female might be the bread winner and and i and i think that it's kind of uncharted territory for people still and i i know from my experience that there were times where it was like fuck you um i'm independent and i don't need you but then there was also times where it's like she wanted me to like just be the man and and play the play the stereotypical role you know so it's like it's a tough balance yeah i mean it's not it's champagne problems if you're you know if

your girl is making more money than you that's a good thing guys you should never be like uh you should never be insecure to the point where you wouldn't want that more money is a good thing but sometimes sometimes it felt like you know well which do you want because do you you know do you want to be in control or do you want me to be in control? Cause sometimes all of a sudden you flip the switch and you wanted me to be making the decisions and handling my business. But it's like, well, the other 90% of the time you're kind of running the show or everything does need to be like run by you. You know what I mean? Oh, I think I'm part of that problem because like financially,

I do want to be independent, which is why I have the career that I do. I've always wanted to be financially independent. However, I do like the idea that the person that I'm dating, whoever that may be, is in control of other things. Like I like the idea of like, you know, you, you know, I want you to pick the dinner still. Like I still want to feel like I'm the woman in the relationship, but I don't need your ass for money. But you understand how that is like, it can, it can confuse and it can be like, well, what are we, who are you right now? Are you like Miss Independent right now?

Or are you like, I'm going to, you just want a man to like handle the situation. Cause there are definitely times where I'd be like, I'm just going to like fucking do this or whatever it may be. And, and, and I get it wrong or I, I do, I make the wrong choice and it's like, well, I should have run it by you. But then there are times where,

you know, I know that you don't want me to run it by you. You want me to do it. That's the thing though, is for me, and I'm not perfect at this by any means. I mean, I definitely have my issues,

but if I want somebody to be in control, I'm not going to then tell them they did something wrong. Well, that's, and that's why, as we always, what I'm learning about Casey is that she's just a catch and she deals with all this shit the right way. I don't know. You might want to do some research on that one first. Yeah. What I'm

basically learning is at some point I'm going to find out that Casey's got like dead bodies in the freezer because all the, you know, she's checking a lot of other boxes. There must be something catastrophically wrong in the closet. I work at Barstool. There's obviously something catastrophically wrong with me. Okay. That's just the way it is. But I do, I feel like with money and being independent in a relationship as a woman, like if I make more money than the person that I am with, that doesn't bother me at all. As long as they aren't taking advantage of it. But you better bet that when I'm sad and I'm going through my chick swings of emotions, that you are the man and that you are cuddling me and you're

taking care of me. You don't need to go buy me some Louboutins. I'll handle that. Right. But you better be there when I'm crying. Right. I mean, I specifically remember, uh, you motherfuckers. I said I would do it myself.

When you want to give them to me as a gift, I won't complain. I won't make you take them back, but I can buy them myself. You see what I'm talking about? you can't have it both ways i remember when when uh he who shall not be named fucking 90s actor when he was tweeting just horrible shit about me and caitlin and it was like i remember her saying something like fucking man up, like handle your handle this shit like you're the man deal with it. And I was like, yeah, but you've also kind of like fucking had, you know, tied my hands behind my back for this entire relationship by also wanting, you know, wanting to be the one in control. It's like you can't just flip a switch and man up when basically I've been whipped the whole time. You know what I mean? It's very hard to play both roles when you want it one way, but you also want it another.

It's like you can't really have the best of both worlds. You can't have cake, cake, cake, cake, and eat it too. The show of cakes. So I don't even know how I got here. Because we were talking about it on the air today just about balancing relationships and career is hard anyways let alone when you work somewhere like this where you are a completely open book you are yourself all the time you have no idea what's going to fly out of your mouth at any given point and that would be hard to date somebody in this world especially from a girl's standpoint

i can't imagine if i was one of you guys especially the guys that have been doing this forever and that are like high on the food chain here. I can't imagine just trying to go out and just date in New York City. I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I don't even really want to do it. I'll set you up with some friends, Kevin. I don't want that pressure either. I'm just kidding.

I'm not going to do that. I don't want any of my friends dating you guys. I get enough of you motherfuckers. I don't want any more of it. No, it's actually I'm like scared That they would like ruin you Like then I'd have to Come into work everyday

And be like Dude your friend Is fucking crazy Like I'm not trying To deal with that smoke Like I'm trying to Protect you guys No nobody

I can't believe anybody Sets anybody else up No I don't want Any part of that That is just extra pressure On your life That you do not need That just felt like

The cliche thing Is what I'm supposed to say Like I don't know How I'm going to do it. I'll help. But I really had no, I had no intention to actually set you up with anybody. Oh, you have like a life problem? I'll help you with it. Not really.

No fucking shit. I have my own problems to deal with. Seriously. Everybody's got their own shit. Let me, before I, I got to get my own shit in order before I can even worry about yours. Yeah. But. That should be like the motto of our show.

Like we've got. It's a little wordy, but CCK, we've got to worry about our own motherfucking shit before we can even venture into yours. I thought about this the other day when I blogged our vlog. If somebody asked me to describe our show in one sentence, I said,

I have no idea how we got down this rabbit hole, but that is our show as a T. Like I have no clue how we end up talking about what we do but we do every single day i would either say that or i think my entire brand is um uh basically um don't worry everybody else is just as fucked up as you are it's true and the three of us on this show are just a ball of fucked up. So, and there's, you know, new people coming in and one of the newest was Ellie.

And I had once had a conversation with her about balancing work and life and how it's difficult at Barstool and that dating specifically, you know, people think they can handle Barstool and they probably can't. And that you really can't do either one 100% without you know if you're gonna crush it at Barstool your romantic life will probably suffer

and if you really want to keep someone like perfectly happy your Barstool life might suffer so I explained all that to her and I think I scared her and then as I retold that story I got a tweet I got a tweet from saying, please don't discourage Ellie from dating. And it was from Ellie's mom. That's tough. And I feel kind of badly because I steered you down that rabbit hole on radio because I brought up Ellie and how jaded she was at 22, which is scary. And it was my fault. And you said.

It was because of me. So, listen, she's not wrong. And her mother is correct to tell me not to discourage her. But now you're hated in the household. I don't need Ellie's mom hating me. I don't need that pressure on my fucking plate. Sorry, Mrs. Ellie.

Sorry, Mama Ellie. I call her Mama Ellie. I don't know what you're supposed to call her. Mama Schn Yeah. I don't know what her, like, what are you supposed to call her? Mama Schnitt. She, so they pulled me on right after that. We were talking about that on our show. They pulled me on Chicks in the Office because Ellie wanted to know exactly why we were talking about her. And so Fran had me kind of go through what happened.

And what I realized is, is this wasn't like an Ellen Karabas, Jared's mom, tweeting, like, involving herself in the content in a funny way. Ellie's mom is actually sad that somebody was discouraging her from dating in the office and you just fell on that sword. But to be fair though, Ellie's mom is active on Twitter because I Ellie and I were texting about

Tom Brady over the weekend because one of the things that I love the most about Ellie is she doesn't pretend to know things that she doesn't. And she has has said to me I'm going to ask you the dumbest sports questions in the world if you could just give me an answer that'd be great so that's our thing it's part of our relationship so she texted me over the weekend and said why is everyone talking about Tom Brady right now what's the deal so I sent her like three paragraphs of why he was a big storyline a in the general I'm literally looking at the tweet right now. This is exactly how Ellie retold the story, too.

Right, but B, like, why he was being talked about even more so on Saturday. And so she tweeted to her hundreds of thousands of followers that that's, like, the relationship that we have and that she loves and I won't have any judgment. She said, honestly, so thankful for Casey Smith because being able to text her dumb shit like Tom Brady dot dot dot explain and getting three paragraphs of information without judgment is a godsend for me. And I felt like this.

I mean, I said something along the lines of if I need a ghostwriter for one of my text messages after a bad hookup, you're my girl. I just promised when I need a ghostwriter for my text after a bad hookup, you'll be there with a kissy face. Yeah, that's the thing is, you know, we've got this balance. So I get a tweet from at the time not realizing that it was Ellie's mom but it said yeah well we're not fans your family are not Tom Brady fans oh wait wait there's a spin there's a twist on this Kevin the first tweet was yeah your family are not fans and I'm like not fans of Ellie texting me about Tom Brady. So then I click on her profile and it says Ellie's mom, basically. And then she's not following me, but she's following like everybody else at Barstool. And I'm like, oh my God, Ellie's mom doesn't like me. So I text her

and I said, is this really your mother? And she was like, yeah, why? And I was like, she's not a fan of mine. Like, did I offend her? And she goes, oh, no, no, no. She's not a fan of Tom Brady. And like 10 minutes later, I get a screenshot from Ellie where she text her mom and said, mom, you made it look like we don't like Casey. Oh, no, no. I'll resend it. And the moral of the story is I'm so happy that my mom can't turn on herself.

The moral of the story is that moms can't be tweeting. Ellie tweeted her mom and said, Mom, stop tweeting, everyone. Did she really? That's a good lesson for everybody. Basically, moms in the world, all across the world, stop tweeting.

But certainly, Mom, stop tweeting. Fran's mom, Ellen's mom, Jared's mom, Ellen, Mrs. Ellie, you're all wonderful moms. You all raise great daughters and sons. But don't get involved in Twitter and Barstool.

Barstool Twitter is the worst goddamn place on the internet. My dad for a while was contemplating getting a comment section name. And I was like, no. When I found that out out my sister told me that my sister was like dad was talking about how he may sign up for comments and I was like I'm nipping this one in the bud immediately so he didn't that is quite possibly the worst idea that has ever come in human history the worst any any ideas that have ever traveled through someone's brain that is the worst one ever. Could you imagine your dad being like, great article, go Aggies, and someone being like,

we want to see your daughter's asshole. It would be the worst thing in the world. When I was working for ESPN, he got a Twitter and would go after people on Twitter. I'm like, you can't do that, dad. I wish I could. I'm sure I'll feel that one day. You can't do it. I'm sure it's going to be like, being like third grade and like somebody will like bully her and i'm

gonna i'm gonna want to hop on twitter and like fucking roast that that other kid's parents but you can't do that you can't you can't but it's hard to like explain that but like my like i said my mom is the most like she just doesn't know technology at all like she still does the one finger text you know that takes like 17 hours and then signs off love mom. I saw who was texting me. My dad knows technology in and out. He's stayed away from it now because I've actually had to

lecture him so many times. But one of the breaking points for me at Barstool was when he texted me a screenshot of a comment that said Casey is Dave's Dubai porta potty. Oh my God. And my dad screenshot it and sent it to me and goes, what does this mean? I was like, you know what? I mean, to be honest, I don't even know if I fully know what that means either, but Jesus Christ. I'm not

even going to explain it to you right now because it's just revolting. But actually the daddy girls and I were like sitting next to each other when I got that text message. She was like, just play dumb. Like you don't know. They were like, don't say what it is. They were like, that's our thing. You don't have to do that. I was like, my dad. What did you say?

I acted like I didn't know what it meant. I was like, I have no idea, dad. The comments section are full of idiots. Are you looking this up right now? I'm looking this up right now. Okay. And not only was it a I'm a Dubai port-a-potty, I was specifically Dave's Dubai port-a- right now. Okay. It's, it's cause I, and not only was it a, I'm a Dubai port-a-potty.

I was specifically Dave's Dubai port-a-potty. Okay. I mean, this is like a whole article. I need like a, Oh geez. Yeah, no, I mean,

it's exactly what you think. It's exactly, it's just like, uh, for those, uh, the tale of the Dubai port-a-potties, maybe a disturbing read. Uh, the website reveals the Dubai porta-potties may be a disturbing read.

The website reveals the hidden secret behind the new generation of Instagram models who, for frivolous short-term material gain, are willing to ruin the rest of their lives. So these models, they go hang out in... Dubai. They put London, Dubai in their Instagram profile. And they have pictures taken in stunning locales. The Arab men come around for thousands of dollars these women are flown to the Gulf to

party shop and then get fucked in the most humiliating fashion by their sponsors wealthy groups of Arab princes royalty and businessmen these acts include cropophilia urolagnia bestiality

and pedophilia it's literally just like a bunch of Dubai guys are gonna fucking urolagnia, bestiality, and pedophilia. It's literally just like a bunch of Dubai guys are going to fucking throw you like a port-a-potty. I was hoping there was like some sort of joke. There's not. It's like it's just... So my dad texted me that

and then I realized that my dad is so good at technology that he absolutely Googled it. For sure. That was tough. That's tough, right? When it For sure. That was tough. That's tough, right? Casey, that's tough. It's really tough. When we're talking about a thing,

one of those terms, and I don't even know it. I've been in the internet for 10 years. I grew up in the internet for 33. I know all of those jokey names. I didn't know Dubai Port-A-Potty. And you don't even really need to know the terms. It's literally, it just spells it out right there. It's someone didn't know Dubai port-a-potty. And you don't even really need to know the terms. It's literally, it just spells it out right there.

It's someone treating you like a port-a-potty. A man from Dubai treating you like a port-a-potty. Again, that's bad enough. I would like to point out once again that this comment was not just any. It was Dave's. My dad, my poor father. God. Having a daughter is the worst.

You see what I mean when I say our show is like you go down a rabbit hole and you don't know we didn't know we were going to end up on Dubai Port-A-Potty we started talking about trying to balance relationships and we're literally talking about Dubai Port-A-Potty now we're talking about Arab Ben fucking peeing on you

god damn it the internet's a horrible place so again moms stay off the internet mom stop tweeting everyone dad don't google don't go i mean that's just asking too much yeah but maybe if you work at barstool you should be able to like turn off your parents cell phones or like search engines like so they just can't see it there needs to be like a real life mute button a real life block button where it's like i'm blocking you from the black mirror kind of did that where it was like your vision gets like fucked up you like can't see the person because they blocked you in real life we need that shit we need parental controls for the parents i think what's good is that i think

we are going to grow up like i think they're the last generation of like like i think we'll grow up being like i am not looking at any of this shit because you know how bad it's gonna be and if i saw somebody like saying bad things about my kids i would understand that they're a bunch of losers yeah it's just you're not gonna feel the need to respond or fight back it's like these are just fucking right real life my parents don't understand that my parents are in their 60s they didn't grow up or like they want to defend everything if you get insulted when they were kids it was like to your face or behind your back from your friends. Now it's like, my mom talks about the guys that live in the

basement. They're like, they should be held accountable too. I'm like, mom, they're never going to be. Never. They have an egg as their profile picture. Don't even worry about it. And definitely don't worry if your daughter is called a Dubai port-a-potty because I would like to go on record and say i am not i would go on record and say i am not and that's it for the podcast folks we got a lot more to get into best of week eight we had bizarro jared versus regular jared we had

the the life of underage drinking, fake IDs and sneaking into clubs. Caleb came through and told the saga of the Ace of Spades. Casey was talking about posting heaters on Instagram. Fights was making fun of Wonder Woman. We talked about what exactly is a true internet troll. I am King Petty in my parking wars right now with my neighbor. And you want to talk about Petty,

you want to talk about wars, Jared and Fran, hottest rivalry at Barstool Sports right now. At least on one side of it. Yeah, it's a one-way street, but he's just getting body bagged by Fran left and right. Body bagged. So a couple hours here for you to relive the best of the week on Clancy and the Rockets. Subscribe,

pass the word, tell your friends, best fucking radio show on the planet. Clancy and the Rockets. Subscribe. Pass the word. Tell your friends. Best fucking radio show on the planet. Clancy and the Rockets. We'll be back for week nine next week. Sean Paul just gets me going. Yes. Forever and always. Sean Paul.

Sean Paul or T-Pain. You got to pick one. Who you got? Sean Paul. Me too. We're in the minority though or T-Pain Gotta pick one, who you got Sean Paul We're in the minority though I mean T-Pain has some absolute bangers It's no slander to T-Pain But if I gotta pick one Temperature by Sean Paul

Get busy, like glue Baby boy Beyonce I'm sorry but Hubs is setting himself up again For failure Blue. Baby boy. Beyonce. I'm sorry, but Hubs is setting himself up again. Oh, no. For failure. His blog title is the Yankees signed filthy reliever Adam Adovino making their bullpen one of baseball's best ever.

Boy. He's so dumb. How the mighty have fallen. We're celebrating Adam Adovino fucking bolstering bullpen. He's had one good year. He's had one good year? Is that one good year? And what is he? By the way, it's not even like he's 33.

You could sign like the best of the best reliever. It's like that should be like guaranteed in the bag. We don't even have to discuss it for the Yankees. Like this is the same bullpen that just got fucking worked by the Red Sox in the first round of the playoffs last year. And then they had Adam Adovino, who's had one good year, and he's 33 years old. They signed him to a three-year deal. And Hubs is calling this the

best bullpen of all time. Best bullpen of all time? He doesn't learn from his mistakes. Hubs said this was the best bullpen of all time? The Yankees signed filthy reliever Adam Adovino, making their bullpen one of baseball's best ever. He actually tweeted that?

That's his blog title. That he has to just... Yeah, that's crazy. He has to be trolling. Like, no, no, no. He believes that? Yes. I don't even know anywhere...

Hubs literally is a walking Old Takes Exposed. All he does is Old Takes Exposed himself every day. That's what he does during the baseball season. Who's in their bullpen? Zach Britton, who gave up the game-winning home run. Roldis Chapman, who blew the... When the Red Sox swept them in four games, he blew the last

game. Dylan Batances, who gives up grand slams to our fucking three-home-run-a-year hitting catcher. Now Adam Adovino. Adam Adovino, who's 33 years old and had one good year. who gives up grand slams to our fucking three home run a year hitting catcher. Now Adam Adovino. Adam Adovino, who's 33 years old and had one good year. I mean, the thing about the bullpen, there's some names there, sure,

but that's not how bullpens work, man. That bullpen might stink. I mean, it's such a crapshoot that it's like... It's so funny, though, the way that he just does this time and time again. Why would you not just say like If you think it's Good bullpen

Best of all time Clickbait it We're clicking we're talking Blog school coming blog school's next week You ready So we didn't know if we were allowed to talk about that Are we I don't know

Jared had a little bit of a meltdown about that Nobody gives a talk about that. Has it been enough? Yeah. Are we? I don't know. We don't know. Because they're doing it the same day as the fucking Hall of Fame announcement. Jared had a little bit of a meltdown about that. Nobody gives a fuck about that. I mean, if Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens get in, no one gives a fuck?

Not really. Pretty big deal. What, are you going to blog a whole day? Yeah. All day. You think they're going to? No.

They're going to get very close. I'm now over it after seeing what's-his-face get in. I can't even remember his name. Who just recently got in on like the fucking old people vote. Oh, fucking Harold Baines. Yeah.

It's like, come on. Yeah. I mean, it's the Hall of Fame's a joke. But yeah, Hubs, Hubs just fucking loves old takes exposing himself. It's pathetic. It really like all these Yankee fans. Like I haven't even I haven't even tweeted about this. And I got a million Yankee fans in my mentions right now.

They want to say that, oh, yeah, we live rent-free. You just signed one of the best relievers on the market, and all of you thought of me. That's just a fact. You think of me when the Yankees sign one of the best relievers on the market. Who is me? Is it Jared? Or the Rocket? They think of the Rocket.

And you know that, Mikey. You know that. You know what you need to do? So we're going to get you the rocket cards. And then you also need to start doing that online. Where you just like Paul Pierce it, where you send a picture of the rocket emoji. Not the rocket emoji. You send like a JPEG. You just tweet it back to these people.

I usually do hit people with the emoji, yeah. But you got to do it with the business card. Okay. Yeah, maybe we'll just take a picture of the business card. Yeah. And just send that. No words, no other. Yeah, there's no number on this business card. There's no email. There's no name.

There's no place of employment. Blast off. You know what? I just realized this could backfire, though, because if you start passing them out to people you're hooking up with, like it's going to end up on social media. It's like, everybody's going to know who you're hooking up with. Not the worst thing.

I mean, as long as the rocket fucking takes down, it's not even just for girls. Like he says, it's, it's for like, now, are you worried about this?

Are you worried about people redistributing the rocket cards? Ooh. Cause like, what if all of a sudden the rocket card ends up at like a place that, or with a person that you don't want, but if like Brit McHenry all of a sudden the rocket card ends up at like a place that, or with a person that you don't want? What if like Britt McHenry all of a sudden has a rocket card? You know what you got to do? You got to put the person's name and the date on it.

Yeah. Personalize. Personalize it. I'm still just thinking about it as like, almost like the Joker card. Like, I'm not even thinking about it from a hookup perspective. I'm looking at it as like. I know, but then they can take it. I'm at Yankee Stadium and then I get into

a verbal altercation with someone and I just dunk on them. I'll just give them the card. Yeah, but don't you think that the Joker, when he would hook up with people, he probably left the Joker card too? Do you think the Joker fucked? Yeah. Girls are so crazy that they fucked that guy with the scars and everything. Yeah.

What's wrong with you people? I mean, I just think, like, Harley Quinn, like, you totally hook up with Harley Quinn. Yeah, but guys are, you know, we're the worst. That's true. We have no standards. Yeah. I feel like that's the play. It's like, there's no...

Harley Quinn's hot. There's no reason. Joker's not, like, hot, is he? I mean, Heath Ledger was real hot. Yeah. With the fucking scars? Yeah. His face was mangled.

Yeah. It's Heath Ledger. So was Kane's and he was crushing pussy in the WWF. You got Lita, Tori, Trish. Kane would put a heart on you. I mean, Kevin, how many like ugly fat famous people have you seen that just can't get laid because they're ugly and fat? But yeah, but they're fucking

famous and rich and shit. But it's the Joker. Yeah, the Joker didn't have... The Joker, you're not getting any perks from fucking the Joker. Yeah, not at all. Yeah, you aren't going to get killed.

I think you might put yourself in the crosshairs. Yeah, he might just kill you right after he fucks you and kills you. Yeah. Do you think the Joker just hands out his card to you

and gives you a gift basket like Derek Jeter and sends you on your way? Yeah, that's fair. Or do you think he fucking takes your teeth out of your head? That's like we were talking about El Chapo.

If you're going to get romantically involved with somebody like El Chapo. You're in with Chapo. You're in with Chapo. You got to be ride or die, bitch. Mrs. Chapo. Yeah, if you are like Pablo Escobar, the affairs that he had. I'm not trying to deal with that because they'll kill you to get you out of the way. He's not killing Mrs. Chapo.

You got to be his main. You can't be his side piece. You got to be the bottom piece. You gotta be the bottom bitch. You've got to be the bottom bitch in that situation. Imagine just like you get drunk and you have a one night stand and you roll over and it's a drug lord and you're like Yikes. You try to just

sneak out in the morning and he's like, well, you've seen my entire operation now. I'm gonna have to take your tongue and your eyeballs. That's how it works. It's either we get married legally and you become my third wife or I kill you. Your choice. You're back. I'm totally going third wife, by the way.

I'd like to go on record. Sure, why not? Whatever. But, I mean, you should just avoid that altogether. Yeah, yeah. If you walk in, there's no furniture in the living room, leave. Yeah. I mean, we're going full circle here.

What if the opposite? What if you walk in and he's like, all right, let's go back to my place. And you go back and it's like this fucking palace it's like marble and there's like piles of cocaine and shit what do you do then because then you're already like compromised yeah

I mean what are you going to do you're not going to run out they'll snipe you right there so you pretty much have to marry him at that point that's fine I'm like picturing like from below Casey would willingly marry El Chapo.

I don't think so. Yes, he would. No. If you were like out one night and you met him and you were swooned by El Chapo and then you found out after the fact oh shit, this is El Chapo, you'd be like, I can look past that. I mean, I don't think I could ever I'm fascinated by those type of relationships.

Pablo Escobar is like super interesting to me because people liked him. Oh yeah, loved him. Loved him for the good stuff he was doing and just ignored the fact he was a murderer. I'd like to go on record, Jared, and say that I would not be able to look past somebody that murders people. But are you

down? I don't know if this is real or not, but you're not Millie Bobby Brown well she doesn't know yet she should know I think she deleted it I think she probably got to a certain episode but again it's the first episode is Casey a Charles Manson chick no she's a Ted Bundy chick though

no I'm not I said that he was attractive but that I would not be able to look at him and be like damn he's hot because I knew he was like just out there literally murdering girls but you would go home with him before I knew he was just out there literally murdering girls. But you would go home with him before you knew he was a murderer. No, I don't think he, I mean. I don't think he's that hot either. I think he's, Ted Bundy is so overinflated.

He's more attractive to me than what I would picture a serial killer to look like. He had blue eyes. He had blue eyes. That's it. Give me a break. By the way, Fran spoiled you on radio yesterday. When I was sick, I was listening to radio all day. You'd already seen the whole thing, though, right?

Not for me. She said it on the air. She was like, oh, by the way, this is how it ends. I was like, what the fuck? She did? Oh, yeah. When I was on air? It's been long enough.

I listen to the chicks in the office. You haven't binged that shit yet. You're done. It has not been long enough. I feel like it's... What date is it? 17th? By the end of this month, if you haven't watched it

and someone says the ending, then that's on you. You have until Valentine's Day. Spoilers aren't real. Spoilers aren't a thing. Jared, we never circled back to you came in this show pretty hot about

you and Fran's rivalry and we never got back to it. There's no rivalry. Fran's just always taking shots. What did she say about you? I don't remember her saying anything bad about you. Yeah, she said something like, Jared's always saying stupid shit. Because you were talking

about... She'll be a lie. You were talking about how like, oh yeah, we need more girls on CCK. I'm always here with Kevin and Jared and blah, blah, blah. And then Fran was like, well, I've heard Jared say some stupid shit and blah, blah, blah. What I said was that we should do more of a crossover because, well, I've heard Jared say some stupid shit. What I said was, is that we should do more of a crossover because like the couple of times I've had them crossover, they can weigh in on some of the things that we talk about.

Because if we get into an argument about girls versus guys, I'm always going to lose this because it's two against one. You're always going to lose this because of logic. No, fuck off, Kevin. But I said said if we do three against two, the numbers are on our side. And I do think Fran then said something along the lines of like, Kevin,

no? You just said you want three on two. Well, their show is two girls and I'm talking about a crossover. Look at this girl who knows math. Like a crossover? Two plus one is three, Jared. That's a fact. One girl on this show plus a crossover of a plus one is three, Jared. One girl on this show plus a crossover of a two-girl show

equals three. That's how that works. She's got brains. Or you can just pick one. She's pretty and she's smart. Real radio stations, they only do one. One what? One person from the next show. Are we a real radio station? Since when? Since one year

ago today. Congratulations on the anniversary! Woo! I don't think she meant to throw... Jared, would you have liked Casey to defend you a little more? No, that would have been weird. Jared versus Fran, rough and rowdy. Fran gets... A gun.

It can't be like a bullet gun. It has to be like a pellet gun or something that would really hurt. Maybe it could take out an eye. I just want it on the record that I don't have anything against Fran. It just seems like every time that Fran... Ten grand to fight her. She doesn't have anything against you either. Ten grand.

I mean, she never says anything good when she's asked. What about me? It's sad. Every time I see her, I'm like, hey, Fran. Hi, Fran. Is it you with the following? This is Deja Vu. Have a good show, friend. You with being followed on Twitter, right? Yes.

She did follow me, yeah. This is just Deja Vu. This conversation goes all the way back to when the People's Choice Awards problem. That's when the cake started. We're right back at it. But then you guys came in here and squashed it. Now she's running her mouth again. Yeah, I know. It's like, come on. I don't think she was running her mouth. She definitely was. If you say Jared says don't think she was running her mouth. She definitely was.

If you say jar is a stupid thing, it was running her mouth. I was sitting there on my deathbed. Show me the life. I was clinging to life on my couch and then Fran's kicking me while I'm down. It was honestly reprehensible. Sad scene. Sad scene.

I couldn't imagine. Maybe Fran should be suspended from the airwaves for a little bit. The next time that Fran is sick, I can't wait to just air out all my grievances while she's listening from home. That's sad.

I could never dream of doing that to someone that was in the position that I was in the past two days. I mean, I feel like you're just kind of overreacting a little bit to this. And this is coming from somebody who overreacts a lot. It's a rocket reaction. I don't overreact.

I think the girls are in there right now with Howie Mandel, and I really hope it goes well because Rhea was so nervous. He went in there, though, knowing she was sick? No, I'm asking. No, no, no, he didn't. But the chair that we had him. Rhea didn't do anything to you. I know. I'm asking. No, no, no, he didn't. But. It would be a shame if he found out. The chair that we had him. Were you doing you? I know. I'm not trying to do.

The chair we sat him in, it just like flat out looks like it has a giant cum stain on it. It's just like a white stain right where your dick would be or your vagina. I was like, what the fuck? He was like, what is this? He was like, what is this? I was like, fuck. The first half of the interview, I was just like, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed.

I mean, this place, like we get used to it, but you look at like these radio walls. He was like, what is this wall? What is this? We have Dana White coming in and he's like staring directly at what literally looks like an animal has taken.

Like Dana White is like, hey, listen, man, you're coming down. Like you're not in Bleacher Report where everyone's got their kid gloves on. It's down, dirty, and grimy here. Howie Mandel has a life-crippling disorder of germophobia. And we thought it was a good idea to bring him here? Why didn't we go to Sirius? Well, that was the thing.

I was like, I'm surprised you even came here. And he was like, I don't even care about promo anymore. I don't even care about being entertaining. I just want to get out of here without touching anything. It was terrible. I mean, that's like 100% on whoever. But like, she's great. Go to Sirius.

Yeah. Like, he's going to hate Barstool forever now. Well, I told him, we hammered it out. You'll hear him on KS Radio eventually. How long did you get him for? About a half hour. And he's still in there with the chicks? Yeah. Oh, you know he's like crawling out of

his skin. He's gotta get the fuck out of here. He did PMT, he did us, he did them. He's been here a while. Great guy. Great interview. But really pulls no punches about being a full-blown germaphobe. Which is also funny, because I am on record on this show, and on KS Radio millions of times being like, germaphobes, pussies.

It's made up. Mental midgets. He's like, it's a crippling disorder. Yeah, I'm definitely not on his level of being a germaphobe. No, that's the thing. People say this to me a lot. Oh, I'm like you. I'm OCD. He's like, you're not like me. No. If it prevents you from doing things in life. He goes to hotels.

I don't want to give away too much of the interview, but he goes to hotels with a black light and salad tongs and he like waves it and he sees like alright there's like some DNA on this blanket he grabs the blanket with the salad tongs and like throws it away scans all the towels, finds the clean ones

lays the towels down in a path from the bed to the bathroom so that his feet never touch the ground it's crazy and he's in this office can you imagine taking a black's in this office. Yes. Crazy. Can you imagine taking a black light to this office?

I was like, you know, he said, he's like, I'll be flat out honest with you. I'm very medicated right now. I'm very medicated. That's how I'm getting through this. It's like, holy shit. What a terrible prison. This office is covered in DNA and semen.

I mean, I was trying to spin it, and I was like, it's probably cum, man. Yeah. I don't know any other answer. It's a black chair with a big white stain I mean, I was trying to spin it, and I was like, it's probably cum, man. Yeah. I don't know any other answer. It's a black chair with a big white stain right where people's crotches sit. I've never seen a hotel that I didn't cover in semen. I mean, hotels are covered from floor to ceiling, wall to wall, covered in cum.

Yeah. Covered. Yeah. Like, in a hotel room, Jared, I'll just cum on the floor. All the time. There's the fucking carpet. Pow. So much job is to clean that up.

What are we doing? Towels, carpets, blankets, pillows come everywhere. What president is on the $10 bill? Andrew Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton. Yeah, leave a nice Hamilton. He wasn't. Come everywhere. I mean,

that's the point of being in a hotel. That's the whole point. I can come and not have to fucking worry about it. The bathroom where you have you go in the closet and you get the bathrobe. Just stroll around in my bathrobe and come everywhere. You almost like, you go like

this as you come. I came in here on a Saturday and Jared was doing just that, he was walking around the office in a bathrobe It's like a sprinkler It's like a It's actually It's more like a fire hose that no one's holding It just

loses control of it My dick is like the inflatable man in front of the car wash Yeah After I'm done with the hotel bathroom My dick is like the inflatable man in front of the car wash. Yeah. After I'm done with the hotel bathroom, it looks like an out-of-control soft-serve ice cream machine just went berserk. Bro, you wrap up a couple days stint at the hotel,

you can crack the fucking towels. You can crack the blankets with me. It just breaks off. Hold them out horizontally. They just stay flat. They stay, man. It's like the moon. The flag on the moon. It just stays. Like a fold. Hold them out horizontally. They just stay flat. It's like the moon. The flag on the moon. Like a fold up chair. It's like, sir,

is your penis broken? No, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But guess what, man? The person right before you. They did the same thing. You're laying on their cum. You're laying on my cum. If we ever go back to back stays in a hotel, you're laying on my cum. If we ever go back-to-back stays in a hotel, you're laying in my cum.

Yeah. If you ever fucking... If you ever took a black light to a hotel after I was done with it, it would look like an Avicii concert. Can you imagine a black light on your teenage bedroom? The room I lived in when I was 15 years old? A black light? It would just, there would be no contrast.

It would just all be the white. Poor Casey can't speak. There'd be no purple, just be all white. The carpet in my high school bedroom entirely made it come. Yeah. The whole carpet. I mean, you're not doing your job. It's called growing up.

It's just crazy, though, that I was just like, I'm just going to come on the floor. What? Not yesterday's boxers, not a towel, it's not a paper towel. It's convenience.

Right on the carpet. Yeah. And just rub it in. Yeah. Done. The more expensive the room, the more cum there is after you leave. That's a fact.

Yeah. I mean, you can't just be showing up at a motel six. You walk into the penthouse in Vegas, and it's like, all right, this is going to take some work. Yeah.

This basically has a living room. Yeah. We got a lot of space. A lot of square. I got to let this one build up. Some square feet we're working with. I'm going to have to open up some Pornhub here and really blast one off.

Yeah. The rocket's about to take off all over the fucking Aria. Oh, yeah. Preach. That's absolutely it for today. Thank God. Avicii concert line was saved by the bell.

Cause I don't know if this went another like four minutes. I don't know where we'd end up. Chicks in the office. Quite the lead in for you girls. Have fun gals. We'll be back. Same time, same place.

You go come all over your room and you stay hot. That's right oh yeah oh yeah and yes he will be one of the stories of like he was not a first round pick he was not a top build guy and he came in as a backup and went, went off. Yes. That will be part of the story. Do not tell me that I should be rooting for Tom Brady as a fucking

underdog right now. He's in phenomenal shape now, but his body at one point looked like yours, Kevin. Like, yeah. Would you not root for you? If he was on my fucking team?

Yeah. Okay. So I, I think, like I said i said in in the small sample underdog not an underdog he is the goat he is a giant but the the entire sample underdog story what a dick jared from boston what do you got what's up, guys? How you doing? Terrible. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, KFC?

I am doing terrible, too, because you know what? I'm from, I know I'm from Boston. That's where I live, but I'm from New York. And somehow I picked the shittiest teams to root for, the Mets, the Jets, the Islanders, the Knicks. Like, it's a disaster. But, you know, Jared and Casey trying to defend the Tom Brady thing here is just outrageous. This guy's like the Bizarro World to me.

He's Jared forced to live in Boston but wants to be in New York. Oh, yeah, no, I'm forced to live in Boston. You wants to be in New York. Oh yeah. No, I'm, I'm forced to live in Boston. You grew up here and that sucks. I'm forced to live here because of my wife. How does it feel to live in a city that sucks? I mean, this is like your, your bizarre world. Jared, just shut up. Jared, shut up. I'm forced to live in your smitty, piss smelled.

Listen, I'm going to take over your radio show, Jared. Mr. Rocket, Mr. Carabas. Look, you're garbage, okay? I'm not talking to you. So shut the fuck up. Okay? You know what, Jared? Don't you fucking come on my show and tell me when I can and cannot speak.

You live in Boston because you're a bitchwit, okay, motherfucker? I live in Boston. I lived in Boston because you're a bitchwit, okay, motherfucker? I live in Boston. I lived in Boston my whole fucking life. I moved to New York to get money, not because of some fucking wife that I don't have. I'm the fucking most eligible bachelor in this motherfucker. Hang up

on this clown. Tell me when I can and can't speak. Are you done? Are you done? Jared, are you done? Are you done? Jared, are you done? Are you done yet? You done yet? Yes, yes, he's done.

I'm sipping on lemonade. Okay, okay, okay. Good. Jared, shut the fuck up. Okay. Shut the fuck up, Jared. For the record, for the record, I stopped talking as he goes.

I was letting you talk. You can't tell someone to shut the fuck up who willingly stopped speaking. Dumbass. I gave him a little slack there and he came with nothing. I really wanted to hear what the next round was. He just didn't have a response to that. It is real tough to lead off the argument being like, I live here because of my life.

Yeah, you really gave up all the fucking leverage there man so that was great jared was being really polite and then he just saw red there was there was something yeah yeah don't do that the skin change happened i mean he literally like went from just like you know normal jared flesh color to the color of like the red shirt like he just morphed into that red. I love that song, and I always sing the female part. I don't know why. It's a little weird. Me and LL just do a duet together, and I'm just always sitting there and be like,

damn, I can't wait for you, Candy Brain. This is like one of the – did you used to – this is all before we were able to burn CDs and download illegal music. Did you ever used to record songs off the radio with the tape cassette? Oh, yeah. This was one of the songs that I had on the tape cassette. I was like, yeah, my mom wouldn't let me buy this anyway. Oh, this song is filthy, man.

You just have to sit in your room and wait for the song to come on. I'm happy that you're a part of the tape deck cassette tape era. Yeah, had to be. That's another one. Like I say, we're the greatest generation because you had to fight for your porn. You had to fight for music, too. Yeah. Downloading it illegally was like the easiest of the ways to go about it.

You know what the worst part was was buying like a 18 song album for 15 20 bucks when you had like no money for one goddamn one song and then it ended up like that was it they're a one hit wonder and the rest of these songs suck that's why singles were the shit but recording off of your recording over the same tape too so by the end of it eventually just like sounded like trash but you had some some semblance of it i used to buy singles yeah that's what singles singles were the best when they had like a remix and instrumental and then another version of it you had like i just like this fucking i bought the goddamn the rembrandts for the fucking friends theme the rest of that album sucks those guys suck i just wanted to be able to listen to fucking you know?

It was like, that's what you had to do. Now it's like streaming this and everything at the fucking fingertips. You don't know what it used to be like. We used to have to be out here. I was just sitting in front of my six disc changer CD radio player waiting for my song. Come on. So I could just hit the record and play at the same time. Get it perfect.

Yeah. It was hard. It was hard. It was hard. People don't understand the struggle. And then, I mean, and the worst part is now there's no making of mixtapes for anybody anymore. That used to be a valuable thing

because music was so goddamn hard to come by. It was like, yo, here you go, boo. This is like, you know, the 15 best songs right now. And you like decorated the front of the CD. I don't know if guys did that as much. I didn't decorate it, but we made a little note. Like, here you go, CD. I don't know if guys did that as much. I didn't decorate it, but we can write a little note.

I had girlfriends that could like do the crazy artwork on the front of the CD. And like they would give it to their boyfriend or their best friends. I mean, it was just, it was really just a piece of art. Girls gave guys mixtapes? I don't know if I ever saw that much. I thought it was very much a guy to a girl thing. Did you? Yeah.

I feel like I was always giving them. I feel like guys are too lazy to do that shit. You were getting them from girls? Yeah. They would be like, these are the songs that make me think of you. I mean, I would never live with it. I was making them for you. They're usually trash.

I feel like it was pretty even in our high school. Girls put way more time into it and decorate them, but guys were giving them to girls and girls were giving them to guys. At one point in high school, I was selling bootleg CDs for a little bit. There was a small window where I was able to get... I got the Blueprint 2 from Jay-Z early, and I was just burning them and selling them.

I went on spring break because of that. I funded a spring break trip by just selling bootleg CDs out of my backpack like a fucking homeless piece of trash. Did you get caught? I don't think I did. Just sold them at lunch. That's how I got my first DMX album.

Bootleg? It's cool. Yeah. We started making bootleg IDs and we got caught. Ooh. It wasn't great. That's straight up illegal. Yeah.

So like on the Texas ID, the numbers for the year are the same color red as in phone book, and they're the same font in red. So what we were doing was, because most of us were born in like 88, 89, and we just needed to change it to a couple years older just to be able to get into clubs to turn 18. So we would just go find whatever number that we needed, and then we would get this duct tape, or not duct tape. What's the clear tape?

Like the clear tape. And we would just get these fine fine razors and just oh yeah to tape it right out so unless you were really really looking at it you couldn't tell i mean obviously like a cop would but like a bouncer or somebody that's trying to get you alcohol whatever you wouldn't be able to tell and we were doing it in study hall new york had uh the new york id for a time was this really weird, like soft material. And you could chalk your ID, you get colored pencils. And then you could like with the white colored pencil, you could kind of color it in and like erase one of the letters, one of the numbers. And then with red, you could make you could just write whatever number you really needed it to say.

And I don't know how anybody came up with it i never could really do it but i had friends who could i mean you had to be like an artist and all of a sudden boom you're like four years older but there was like you had to change the date and then at the very bottom there was like a second number that needed to be changed so you had to know that and uh it was like a like a past it was like a like a skill to have like oh that guy knows how to talk like i can kind of do it but you got got to go to the girl in art class who can really whip that shit up. You can't do that anymore. But bouncers rubbed it.

They would know. The best bouncer question, I remember a guy asking me what year I graduated. Oh. Like, if you're of age, you would know exactly what year you graduated high school or college. I dropped out, bitch. That's a personal question. But as soon as I was like, wait, he was like, okay, you would know exactly what year you graduated high school or college. But as soon as I was like, wait, he was like, okay, you're out.

I can see Jared saying that. I dropped out, bitch. I got burned on a middle name. That's a tough one, too. I never had a fake ID. Were you just not doing anything prior to being 21? One of my best friends...

You didn't even have a 21-year-old? Like, no fake IDs ever? Never, no. My best friend had his own apartment by the time we graduated high school. So when I was in high school... Partied there? Yeah, when I was in high school, one of my friends,

his parents did not give a fuck. It was like a big-ass house. We had a party house the entire time in high school. And then when I graduated high school and we were in college, my best friend had an apartment so we just had to be through parties there all the time that's good but don't you want i mean

there was no time no like i want to be at the bar no it was always like like if you were like within you know two eight two two years older and two years younger it was like we were just having parties and everyone was there always so it's like it works i just love being in the bars yeah we used to like there was a bar or a club in dallas called purgatory and like the first floor was hell so it was all like you know red lights and like crazy latina music and then the top floor was heaven and it was like edm and then in the middle it was purgatory and it was like a you know more of like a chill vibe like you know couches and whatever and i don't know what we were thinking but we would go there in high school we'd be like oh we're all gonna say we're staying at your house and we would go on

like thursday nights and then go back to school on friday looking like garbage jc in the club at fucking like 17 i mean yeah like it adds up um yeah it was a terrible decision club case we we not only would fake the the numbers we also found a guy that could give us like different state ids and i got one from oklahoma and i put it in my wallet and then one time i got in my car to actually go get my real id to do something and uh the fake id had been taken out and a bible verse had been put it in its place oh yeah by parents. They didn't say anything to me. They just put the Bible verse, like, you need to check yourself. And then I got in trouble.

I had, my brother had a fake ID from Connecticut. Pennsylvania was a big one. There's a whole fucking underground world of fake IDs. You should have got in on it, Jared. I don't think you can do that really anymore. I needed it, though. I know, but there was something fun about trying to use it and get it.

Adrenaline rush. It's really straight out of Superbad. That McLovin vibe where you give it to them and you're just sweating and ready to answer questions. If your heart wasn't just pumping out of your chest at that point. And that's one of those things where I realize that whoever was selling me beer or the bouncer at the bar was just willing to let me in yeah like there's no way that me as like a 16 year old kid heart racing probably literally sweating in front of him with my voice quivering at like 130 pounds there's no way that guy thought i was a 24 year old dude right but in my mind i'm like god over like god went over on him did it nailed it and he was probably like all right 16 year old

this is close enough that if the police come i'm okay i'm covered yeah whatever the reason may be you know right like okay dude we our whole business model is to run the price up on you guys and water down our liquor so we'll let you in right don't think that you're some macgyver over here though bro you're not some cia spy my first bar experience came before i turned 21 years old but i don't even think we didn't even need fake ids to get in it was when we went down they just let you roll in we went to uh spring training we went down to like fort myers when i was 19 and then we just ended up going to some bar and they're like yeah there's no rules down there you go to port st lucie for the mets and it's like yeah yeah come on in you want some meth with your beer like, there's no rules down there. You go to Port St. Lucie for the Mets and it's like, yeah, yeah, come on in.

You want some meth with your beer? Like, no big deal, man. Yeah. Cameron from Nevada's got a fake ID story. I'd imagine fake IDs in Nevada are either like you can't fuck with them at all or everybody's got one. Hey, what's up, guys?

So I got a couple of fake ID stories. So one of the guys that coached me in baseball in college i guess nevada used to be able to uh like you'd say you lose your id and they'd hand you a like a raffle ticket and then they'd call your ticket number to go take a picture for your id so they'd have the guy that needed the id to go in, and then they'd just pass the raffle ticket to different people. So, like, 15 different people had the same guy's ID with a real picture of it. Interesting. That's dope.

That's clutch. Yeah, and then it changed. And then when I was in college, we used ID Chief online to get fake IDs. It was this outfit out of China, and they'd send it to you in, like, a toy wrapped up so they didn't get busted by the feds. It was some fake fabric. Yeah. I'm telling you, the whole culture of fake IDs. I had some guy at NYU named Sunil who charged, like, $250, but he made a perfect fake ID where he took a Subway MetroCard, and he put it in between. So it had the right thickness and the right feel to it.

And he put these two other pieces on either side of it and whipped up the Photoshop shit. And it was like 250 bucks at that point was like my entire life savings. But I was like, I'm going to get into every single bar and every single liquor store, whatever, forever. Your brother's screaming back here about how easy we had it to get fake IDs.

Yeah, I mean, it was we lived in the underage drinking capital of America, so it was either we could play around with our crayons and colored pencils and get it, or we could just buy them wherever we need to, and everybody locally was like, yeah, good enough, sure.

And now you have to have like the, I mean, I think most states have them. I know Texas for sure does. The hologram like on the back sure and now you have to have like the i mean i think most states have them i know texas for sure does the hologram like on the back and like they have to put the black light and right now i'm using my passport because after the christmas party debacle where i couldn't get in with my expired id i just take it and they still like will run it underneath a black light i'm like there's no way kids under 21 are getting no i don't know why it took so long that's another thing we were right on the cusp of music, porn, and like fake IDs,

like things. There's no scamming anymore. No, you need, there's either watermarks or black lights or, or they changed it to vertical. It was like right around when we were coming of age to drink, they were like,

wait a minute, this is all way too easy. Like the, like what's Pennsylvania did. If you're 21, it's horizontal and otherwise it's vertical. It's like, well, that's pretty tough to overcome. What's Pennsylvania did? If you're 21, it's horizontal, and otherwise it's vertical. It's like, well, that's pretty tough to overcome.

This one's a triangle, and this one's a fucking rectangle. There's no fake in that one. Andy from Chattanooga. That's fun to say. What do you got, Andy? What's up, guys? I went to a pretty small college, and we had guys who, they were paying $100, $150 to get these fake IDs made and sent in the soles of tennis shoes.

I didn't really have that, so I found an ID in a wallet of my buddy's that never got his from, like, years before. This was about freshman year. And it was two years expired. This dude was 5'11". I'm 5'5". I'm a short little boy. He was redheaded. I'm not redheaded.

Had a huge nose, you know. And this thing never failed me. Never failed me at any liquor store. Never failed me. As long as you could just show something. To the point where I was a regular in most places before I was even 21. The amount of, like, shit that it needs. So, like, all right, you sell that person.

He's getting a car accident and drunk, and the police need to find it and track back where he got it, and they need to look at the tape and ask you, and that's not going to happen. I never heard of ID Chief, but apparently that's where one of the Barstool guys does graphics and whatnot. Oh, yeah.

It checks out. It checks out. Two IDs for 90 bucks. All this conversation has really done for me is make me miss house parties. Like that was such a short, so much fun, beautiful window where like you're in the thick of it and then you just, you snap your fingers and it's like, well,

this is weird. We can't be doing this anymore. And it's like, well, why not? We had a couple of houses that we were always like in the anymore and it's like well why not i i we we had a couple houses though we were always like in the basement and it was like music was blasting people were like grinding up on each other in a house yeah imagine doing that now if it was just like hey guys come

on over and yeah fucking girls are like grinding on you and people are making out party it really just like opens my eyes to what type of parents were allowing these things to happen it's like like house parties in high school you mean yes yeah you know that this shit is going like i couldn't imagine right now if i had a house i mean obviously i'm too young to have kids that are old enough to be in high school but i can't imagine that my line of thinking will change very much between now and when i'm like 45 or whatever to where i'm just like cool with 16 year olds getting shit faced in my house and fucking each other and like the well the man cave that i have downstairs here's the thing no i think that what happens is you have

naive parents like i'm gonna be the worst like my kids are gonna hate me and be like no you can't have fucking parties here like but here's what i think's gonna happen i think that maybe you would be like you can i don't know when you describe it that way it's like yeah i know what goes on at these parties but i think that partying always gets progressively harder yeah so that those parents were probably like oh they're just like sitting in the basement drinking beer because that's what i did yeah meanwhile it's like people were like doing ecstasy and fucking yes and and so well here's the worst part but they that you might be okay with that kind of shit and they're partying even harder than you realize yeah plus it's it's different for us now because like you have to think of it as when we were partying in high school

yeah there was i guess like not no in high school all we had was fucking myspace. Not Facebook. Yeah, now you got to worry about social media all over. Facebook, barely. So it's like when your kids grow up, it's like you're going to be someone. So it's like Snapchat, you're going to have these 16-year-olds being like, oh, I'm getting drunk at KFC's basement. Yeah, not a good thing. They're going to be Snapchatting it because of where they are, not just because they're doing it.

Not even if they're putting it on blast, but if they're just doing it at my house, they post a picture from it yeah and then it all leads back to you yes like you don't even have to be somebody it's just like if you if you do the old like give me your keys you can't drive but you can party in my basement but some girl is like having sex in your basement and that comes out in this day and age you're done that's also to jail for that shit it never made sense to me either i mean then it did now it doesn't it's like the guys parents that would let us girls spend the night over there it's like why would you let that happen like you you know that my parents if they find out or any other

girls parents find out that you're just housing us in your son's bedroom that they're gonna have a big problem with it and he's like whatever just as long as you guys aren't driving you can say and like they were the cool parents and now looking back, I'm like, what? They're not great parents. It's like,

we weren't driving but we were having unprotected sex. But everybody was just shit-faced in one room for like, 12 hours. That makes complete sense.

Like, listen son, you're gonna go drink in the fucking woods like a real man. Yeah, honestly. That's what your dad

used to do. Right. You used to get chased out of the woods by the cops all the time. If you have used to get chased out of the woods by the cops. Hell yeah. All the time. If you have not like lost your shoes running through the mud in the woods,

climbing over a fence to evade the police, you haven't lived. Playing manhunt literally with the cops in Saugus, just running through the fucking woods. And that's where you get to play hero ball too. It's like, you know, you go to this party in the woods and you're trying to get the girl,

save her from the fucking police. When the cops show up at the woods party, that's where you really get the points. That's big, you know, you go to this party in the woods and you're trying to get the girl. Save her from the fucking police when the cops show up at the woods party. That's where you really get the points. That's big time. If I was a cop, this is my thing. I keep thinking back to teachers who, like I said the other day, I thought they were so smart and in control of everything and they were probably just hung over

a 26-year-old. Same thing with some of these cops. I knew some of these cops were young and I'm like, you really, right now, you could just do your patrol around town and make sure nobody's dying, or you could get out of your car and chase kids through the woods. That must be so much fun. Maybe they're the type that wanted to do that. I would be like, whatever, I'm just going to keep on my beat over here

just waiting for anything actually to happen. I could see Hardo Carrabbas being like, I'm going to get these fucking kids. No. When you're a kid, you think, oh my god, the cops are coming, they're going to shoot all fucking kids. I mean, like, no. When you're a kid, you think like, oh my God, the cops are coming. They're going to shoot all of us. But like, the cops are probably like pulling up

being like, yo, like, let's scare these kids. And like, they got their flashlights. We were walking through town once. What's the worst they're going to do? They're literally trying to scare us away so that they can take our beer and just put it in the trunk and bring it home and put it in their own fridge.

We were walking down like the main streets in my town once, and we each had a six-pack of steel reserve. Yeah. And we saw a cop coming the opposite way, and then he did a U-turn, and we see the lights go on, and we all just throw our steel reserve off to the side. Yeah.

And they pull up, and they're like, what are you guys doing? We're just walking. And they're like, we didn't just see the beer that you threw over there they're like go get it we're like go get what like go get the beer you threw i'm like officer i don't know what you're like so we get it and they like take us to the police station and then they went to the police station yeah but it was like a you know it was very much a formality it was at that point we're actually we just happened to be like around the corner from the police station.

The police station was kind of in the middle of the neighborhood. It was a very quiet type of spot for the police station to be. And they were mad that it was shitty beer because they did just take it. They were like, what are we supposed to do with fucking Steel Reserve? Next time, at least make it Budweiser, you dicks. Yeah, buy some Bud Light. We'll give you the money. Steel Reserve.

I saw Steel Reserve and Four Loko was a thing now. What? Four Loko Reserve. That shit. As in it's a cocktail that you make? I shouldn't say that. Fifth year put up. It could be like a Photoshop.

But they tweeted a picture of it and said, this shit is dangerous. And I don't know if it was just somebody made that or if they're actually available. Four Loko without the energy in it, right? Because isn't that illegal now? I don't know what it is. There's only one guy excited for that. Who?

Willie Colon. Yeah. Willie would drink and eat. You know about the Four Loko thing. No, what? Every single Friday night, he rolls a joint. Him and his wife buy Four Lokos and they sit in their home movie theater and watch a movie. That sounds delightful. Those kids are going to make it.

That is the strongest marriage I know of. And he's like, kids should still drink Four Locos. And everyone's like, dude, what? You still drink Four Locos? I didn't even know you could still buy those. I hope this was just like a Photoshop or a joke or something. If they mix Four Loko with Seal Reserve, that is, it's literally socially irresponsible. That should not be a thing.

Well, I mean, Four Loko, when they first came out, had basically Red Bull in it on top of the alcohol, and it was like killing kids. I mean, that was, the original Four Loko was actually, it was really bad. Really dangerous. A problem. Like your heart could like explode. And it was always in

a 24 ounce can, right? It was blackout in a can. That's what they're calling it. Blackout in a can. There are certain things. I told you the story last time we talked about Four Loko. The kid fucking fell into the pool and if someone wasn't there, he would have died. He just, it was an indoor pool. We were at a house party and the kid had like, he drank

one Four Loko in like a half an hour and he fell face first into an indoor pool and just stayed there. With like the cover on, right? Yes. But the water was there. Yeah. Yeah.

If someone didn't jump in, like he's dead for sure. I was a freshman for original Four Lokos. And let me tell you, it was bad. Yeah. Let me tell you, it was not ideal. I mean, I got like one taste of it one night because I was out of college. I think I was one year out of college and we were like,

all right, we got to like try what the kids are doing. We were in the Hampton Bays and we all like pre-gamed with it and like everybody blacked out and the next morning was like, we're never doing that again. No,

it's terrible. That was the first time I was like, you kids are crazy. I'm going to stick to my fucking Bud Light. Like, get out of here. I tried it when it was, when it was at the. The hardcore shit.

Oh, I did. That was... Bad. Bad. But if you're going to mix it with malt liquor, that's just... It's not good. You ever do Colt 45s? Yeah, I was going to...

Colt 45s, St. Ives, Old E, Seal Reserve, all that shit. MD-2020. All that shit is just... It's bad for you, man. Stay away from that. Stay off that shit, kids. I got respect for you, man. Stay away from that. Stay off that shit, kids. I got respect in the streets for drinking cold 45s. Yeah, of course.

Everybody thought they were cool and hard, like rappers and tough. You're just drinking a 40 of disgusting malt liquor. It tasted great. I didn't do the Edward Scissorhands. I never did that. But we would just get... I mean, I effectively did it. I just didn't need to tape them to my hands.

Same idea, just you don't have to prompt me with duct tape. I think we would do like 440s. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like 15 beers, something like that. What was the first beer that you ever had? When you had to ask the seniors to buy you beer as a freshman. Keystone.

Yeah, that makes sense. I did something weird. I did Miller Genuine Draft. That black and gold can. Oh, yeah. See, we didn't ever have to ask anybody because we went to this place called Imperial in the Bronx. It was a wholesale spot for liquor, for booze.

So we could just buy it ourselves, which was almost worse because you go to the seniors and they're like, here's some Natty Light or whatever. So we go to this emporium. it's just like get whatever you want and i think i think we grabbed like miller draft or whatever and it was the strangest beer ever to drink that you just want to seem sophisticated i don't know what it was i don't know why at the beginning it was like mike's hard lemonade and eventually it was like all right i gotta stop smearing off ice yeah it was like all's Hard Lemonade. And eventually it was like, all right, I got to stop drinking. Smearing off ice. Yeah. It was like, all right, we got to stop drinking like gallons of sugar here.

Let's get some beer. And we got that. And I remember we used to drink at this one kid's house who had a wooden fence. He was at like a dead end. It was him, a fence, and then the highway. And we would throw all of our empties over this fence. And eventually, like years later, his parents found out that was going on. And they're like, you have to go back there and clean it.

So we all get over the fence and we were cleaning. We were throwing all the shit out. And it was like layers. It was like like the rings of a tree. Like you could see what was going on. Yeah. All right. Here was like sophomore year of high school.

We were drinking Mike's hard lemonade. Yeah. It was like Miller. And then also like here's when we got into 40s. Yeah. And here's where we started drinking like hypnotic. It was just layers. Oh, started drinking, like, hypnotic. It was just layers of our- Oh, God.

I forgot about hypnotic. Hypnotic is still, like, around. That was, like, 2006. I forgot about those sick bottles. A couple rappers made raps about it, and it was bright blue, and we all drank it. And it was like, this is disgusting. Oh, yeah? But, hey, Fabulous talks about it, and it's bright blue, so let's do it.

And they had, like, the bottles looked cool as shit. Absolutely. You felt like you were, when I found out that Hypnotic was like $30 and you could buy it, I thought it was one of those things, it's like, you know, Cristal in the club, and it's like, I was like, oh, I can be like my favorite rapper and just have this for like $30? That shit is, all that Alizé, all that stuff that's like liquor, but not. Like, what is that? You ever have Cristal? Yes. I think I have. I mean, it's

just champagne. All of it's just champagne. All the rappers have it in cribs. Yeah. Go in their fridge. Gotta show it. I think it does taste a lot different than shitty champagne. I've just always been able to tell the hangover versus cheap, but I never... I don't drink

champagne like this is better than the other. It's just like I hope that this won't make my head explode tomorrow morning. You're a champagne girl. I mean, I'm not going to go out and buy Ace of Spades just for fun. But I mean, yeah, I think you can definitely tell the difference. Dabble in the Ace of Spades.

The Ace of Spades craze here at Barstool has been a heavy one. See, we started doing that like... in the Ace of Spades. The Ace of Spades craze here at Barstool has been a heavy one. See, we started doing that like... The Caleb Ace of Spades story is among one of the greats in Barstool lore. When did the Ace of Spades thing start here? What year was it?

It was my first move to New York. Right. 16, yeah. I feel like we started buying it like 2000... I think 2015, I got it for my... One bottle for my girlfriends for christmas like that was like my christmas gift to all of us and like we're just like oh like we all

have to have it and it's like what are we doing here like yeah well especially champagne too it's like all right everybody had like a sip each not even like a shot of liquor we should was caleb around i would love for him to retell the ace of spades story have you heard this story casey i have but it's been a long time because I asked, because I know Dave has all the Ace of Spades with his enemies' names on it or whatever. I remember the bits and pieces of why Ace of Spades was such a big deal.

Yeah. How many bottles does he have left? Dave? Dave, I think only one or two. Yeah. I think he's got one that he's saving. Wait, you know the Caleb story? Or you know just the Dave story? I know the Dave story, you know the Caleb story? Or you know just like the Dave story?

I know the Dave story. No, the Caleb story is way better. Caleb got like stuck with a bill for, he went out with Dave where they ran up a bill. Is he here? And they're looking for him now. Roan, is Caleb here?

Is he available? Oh. It was, I hope is he available oh it was I hope he's willing to tell it because I'm sure from his point of view it's even better but it was like that was so perfect because early on in New York the people who were partying and getting down with the club Dave it was like everyone was on

vacation almost like oh my god we all live in New York here and like we're going out and Dave's big balling. And everything, even at that point, people were partying in the office more. Like Thursday night, happy hours. The place would be like trash, torn up, beer pong. Eventually it was like, okay, wait a minute.

This is a place of work. This is not the time to, not the time or the place to rage. Yeah, let's take a quick break. Let's hit a break so that I can coerce him to come on the air and tell him it's not going to be too bad. When we come back, one way or the other, we'll recap one of the greatest legends of Barstool,

the Caleb Ace of Spades tale. I've definitely heard this story. That's right. All I need in this life is him. It's me and my girlfriend. Me and my girlfriend. Down the ride to the very end. It's me and my boyfriend. The problem is, you do street. My girlfriend.

The problem is you do treat the one that you love and with the same respect that you treat the one that you have been. That ain't about nothing. If ever you mad about something, it won't be that. Oh, no, it won't be that. I don't yet. This is where we can't be at with no. Yeah. Oh, no, you won't see. In the atmosphere. where we come from. Yeah. We know. Yeah. Oh, no, you won't see. Yeah. We were running up and down and getting messy in the hallways.

Tell me that forever was the time we put together, baby. Always. Now you're saying that you're sorry, but I know that you don't mean it cause you won't stay. Now you won't stay. Adam Gates just had his introductory press conference. And I started getting texts about it right away.

And now just during the break, I finally saw the pictures for the first time. This is an absolute catastrophe. You see these pictures of Adam Gase? He looks like he's on meth. He looks like he's on drugs. He looks like he's from another planet. Aggressive drugs. Scroll through those pictures, Caleb, and tell me what you think as a football guy

if that was all of a sudden the head of your first fucking press conference. He's doing this thing with his eyes that are all wide, and then he cricks his neck sideways, and he's looking around. He looks like he's on drugs. He looks like he's a crazy person. He looks like Nicolas Cage. I'm sure people, maybe I could be like this is a crazy football guy he's so intense

but this looks like an absolute fucking lunatic like he's gonna come kill you I said this in the break he didn't look like this in Miami I don't ever remember him looking like this you know what it is it's because since he came from Miami

they've updated him on the terms of the program. It's almost like when the president comes in and they tell him about the aliens. Oh, yeah. And then he's like, oh, shit. I'm on the jets now. They told him about the state of how the organization is going. He's like, oh, fuck.

Whatever it is, it ain't good. It's going through his head now. I mean, if I'm the jets, I'd be like, oh, okay, well, it ain't good. It's going through his head now. I mean that I, if I, if I'm the jets, I'd be like, Oh, okay,

well now you're fired. I didn't know you were going to look like that. So we're going to pull the plug on this whole fucking operate. I really wish that those pictures would have hit in our hour of football that we had in the first hour. Just so you could have derailed the entire thing just to talk about these pictures. I'm happy. Caleb's in here. We're going to tell a classic story because otherwise i will rant about just

this fucking eyeballs for the next half hour got catfished they did not even good it wasn't even like he was sexy in his picture and then all of a sudden he's crazy he was just kind of crappy and now he's certainly crappy filters will do that kevin so we've been going down memory lane here kill it started out talking about fake ids and sneaking into bars and drinking in the woods and then it was what what are you what were you drinking when you were younger? And we got on the topic of fancy drinks. And obviously, champagne came up and Ace of Spades came up. And the Ace of Spades era at Barstool, when we all first got here, it was like a fucking party.

Not so much me, but you guys were going out every night to the club. People were partying in here. It was just a booze train for the first six months when when we first got here we took barstool sports too seriously yeah the bar the bar was heavy part for that beginning period of time that was what people i think the perception of barstool is like for the most part it's a very tame spot like there's not many people who like really rage here but the first the beginning we were we were all like it was a frat house the club day there all right club dave was he was leading the charge and ace of spades was the drink of choice your boys with the guys right is that how it all started how it started right

right and yeah go ahead so just tell you want me to tell yeah because you getting stuck with that bottle and like the whole just the whole like you and Dave being like like side by side at the club all the time was just such a it was unreal you know what it was it's actually funny it was around this time of the year uh what was it three years ago I guess 2016 yeah three years ago because I remember the Patriots were in the playoffs because I remember how it started was I was watching the Pats game with Dave and at the time Dave was uh not I mean he was like out at the bars because he was with Jay Hammy yeah and so he was out at bars watching the game and he wasn't like at his house like live tweeting it everyone was like mad about it and they were like this you're new and this is

kind of my my really my first time I was really like hanging out Dave. And to this day, probably my only time since then. I've hung out with him a ton. But we were watching the Pats game at a club-ish bar. It was like ritzy, loud music, but we were watching the game. And I think the Pats ended up blowing him out. And so we were like, what are we going to do now? And we wanted to go to a club because that's what Jay Hammy, and she was with us at the time. Right.

And I'm assuming that I can say. I think so. Yeah, yeah. And if you don't know who Jay Hammy is, it's Dave's ex-girlfriend. And so we're going to go to a club, and Dave was going to buy, as he always does, he was going to buy a table, and he was going to buy a bunch of bottles. That's why it's good to hang out with Dave. Yeah. And it's, and it's very expensive.

I didn't even at the time know how expensive it was because I was coming from North Carolina and really in college, I wasn't really in the clubs. I mean, we were at bars. What was like your guess? Like how much would you think a bottle of was hundreds? Yeah.

Hundreds, 400, 500. I mean, expensive, but, uh, I mean,

they're more than that in New York city. Yeah. Well, I mean, to get a bottle of Ace of Spades, like, at a liquor store in Texas, it's like $300. And you're going into, like, a liquor store. Right, so, anyway, so, game's over. We're going to go to a club. And I had, we just moved to New York, and I had just met some, this guy who worked for Ace of Spades. And to this day, his name is Brian Axelrod. He's a great guy.

He's helped Barstool in tons of ways. Oh, yeah. Never asked for anything. He's a great guy. But's helped Barstool in tons of ways. He's never asked for anything. He's a great guy. But anyways, at the time, I had just met him. And so we were in a group message with some other friends. And they were like, hey, we have a table. You guys should come to this club.

It was Tao. It was like hip-hop night at Tao. He's like, you guys come to our table. And Dave doesn't have to buy a table. Just if he maybe gets some alcohol for you guys, that would be great but like come hang out with us so i asked dave would you rather do that and not have to comp the entire table for everyone and he was like sure i'll buy alcohol that's that's perfect let's do that so then we go to to tau and i'm pretty sure at the time i was single they was with hammy but it was like it was club era yeah like you said and so we get to

the club and we get in and we get to the table i meet my friends and the last thing that i had gotten the group text before i got there and brian my the friend from ace of spades wasn't there okay so he said you guys have fun make sure you're ordering ace of spades this is a group text he now i know he was kidding that was a joke but i didn't know that time i thought he was being like hey order right my product because he was making the joke being like you guys can't afford to order ace of spades you know so anyway so we get there and we're sitting at the table and dave is with his girl, and Light Switch Lou is there, too. That was the crew. It was me, Dave, and Light Switch Lou.

Damn. And so- What a squad. So I was kind of hanging out with Light Switch, because neither one of us was with girls, and we were just kind of hanging out, and no alcohol had been ordered, and we had been there for like 30 minutes. And I was like man it's kind of awkward yeah and i'm always trying to interrupt dave with his girl and they were doing

his own thing i think she had some friends there they were they were having a good time i wasn't trying to interrupt them and but i also felt a little awkward it was my friend and we hadn't fulfilled our part of the bargain and i couldn't afford to fulfill it so i made sure dave said that that's what he wanted to do so after we had had a few of their drinks i was kind of feeling i was like you know what next time the person comes by i'm just gonna go ahead and put in an order they will cover it it's already been cleared he said it's good i'm just gonna go ahead and put the order in and so she came by and i said hey would you mind if we uh get a bottle of ace of spades because that's what i thought i was supposed to be ordering and so

she she just took my uh she's like i'm'm going to need an ID and a credit card. Did she ever pause at all? Like, you sure? Not for a second. She was like, let's fucking go. Not a towel. No, because that also, that's disrespectful if it's, you know what I mean? If you're insinuating I can't afford it.

Yeah, right, right. And so she just took my ID and my card. She's like, this is just to hold it. Or just maybe just my ID. She's like, just to hold the charge. She's like, that's fine. Gave her my ID and my card. She's like, this is just to hold it. Or maybe just my ID. She's like, just to hold the charge. I was like, that's fine. Gave her my ID. And she brought out a bottle of Ace of Spades, and we drank it.

I have pictures in my phone of the girl Dave was with. With her hand, she was chugging it by herself. They were drinking it. Everyone was drinking it. How big of a bottle are we talking? A normal liquor bottle. It wasn't a huge. It wasn't like a Red Sox world champion

okay yeah but it wasn't just a regular bottle I think it's like a magnum or something a little bit bigger than your regular

bottle of champagne yeah I can pull it up too if we can tweet it out I mean I can pull up at the break the pictures but anyway

so we had a good time but that bottle went pretty fast so it wasn't huge because it went pretty quick yeah and then I was at this point in the year I was pretty drunk and I was like, get another one. So that's really where I really

fought myself. That's, that's when you really look back at it and you just break the events down. That's where it was like, dude, you got a little too cocky. So I ordered another one. Still don't know how much it is, but I did order a second one without being like, yo, Dave, let's order the second one. Yeah. But he was still there and we had a good time. And then it came out. That one got drank and we had a good time at the club. And the girl comes and it's like we're leaving or shutting down, whatever. And she comes and she's like, hey, here's the bill.

Give it to me. She had my card. And it says the bottom number is 10 grand. And I was like, I only got the two bottles. She's like, I know. So she's like, well, one bottle was $2,500. The second one was $2,500.

And there's two times the fee holding charge on your card that will be taken off. But we got to get that up front and then you'll get that money back. And the way my bank account set up, that ain't going to work. It wasn't going to work.

So I go, I was like, I got to get Dave. He's going to be pissed. And I turn around to get Dave. He's gone. Oh, no. He had dipped. Him and his check dipped. And so they were just not there.

And it was just me and 10 grand. And that's it. That's it. I didn't have any choices. I think Louis was gone too. It's funny how the lights come on and the bill comes out. Who's there? Caleb.

Caleb. So I mean, so I don't have that money to pay it. I don't have that type of credit. I couldn't even go into debt for that charge. Right. So I called Resnick, Matthew Resnick, who at the time. credit i don't even i couldn't even go into debt for that charge right right so i so i uh i called resnick matthew resnick who at the time like at that moment you call him like you're at the club still basically like you know i might have shot him a text or to talk to him and see exactly what

i do what i did but it was like the conversation was basically hey i'm gonna put something on the barstool card and i'm gonna take care of it don't worry about it i will take care of it but i don't have a choice right now and And so I put it on my company card, which I had for the Dixie tour. I was going to say, see, I don't even have one of those. If you didn't have that, what do you do? I really don't know. You would have to call Dave

and beg him to come back. Well, they call the police. Yeah, they call the police on you. You basically stole from us. Yeah, so I put it on the company card. I went through and I woke up the next morning and you talk about feeling bad in the morning time. basically stole from us yeah um yeah so i put on the company card i went through and and i was i woke up the next morning you talk about feeling bad in the morning time you're hung over you're upset about the text you sent or you got one extra round of shots at the bar you're upset i put 10 grand on a fucking card that is not really even mine right and uh technically five

grand you're getting the other five back right but i hit up hit up, I got to say, and it was bad, and it was the beginning of my Barstool career, and I did get a lot of heat from it. I remember that. Some like a little ridiculous heat. Like, it's not like you fucking murdered somebody. It is what it is. But Lewis was really cool about it.

Lewis threw me some money. He threw me like, because I had to repay it. Yeah. Definitely the second bottle. And so Dave paid for the first bottle. So Dave did fulfill his word. He yeah uh the definitely the second bottle and so dave paid for the first bottle so dave did fulfill his word he paid me back for the first bottle and then or i was raising this money so he didn't pay me back but lewis chipped in for some of it because he

was drinking too stoolies uh bought a bunch of shirts we sold dave shirts and it sounds bad but like guys i was i didn't have the money so it was like what am i gonna do i thought i mean i thought it was i think it's fucking funny it was it was like yeah it's a funny like stupid drunk night at the club where you like knew in new york and can't imagine that bottles would be that much money i don't know i'm sure at the time you're freaking out and i'm sure it was ridiculous stories but in a way it like kind of put you on a little bit we got the content from it yeah like like you were front and center on the rundown where people debating like should you help who should pay whose fault is it like that's what barcelo is made out of those type of stories i realized it was 10 grand like because this story like i feel like i've heard like bits and pieces

of it now looking back i remember the shirts i didn't know it was 10 yeah because if it's like two grand it's like all right i you know that's gonna wipe me out it's like everything i've ever made but like i can physically pay for it well it's 10 grand yeah that's that's going to wipe me out. That's everything I've ever made, but I can physically pay for it. 10 grand, that's the shoddy part of this. I'm going to have to change my identity. I'm going to have to leave the country. A lot of people's credit cards can't even run up that high.

I mean, there's a reason why. That's why I had to use the company card. Even now, I don't feel like a lot of people's credit cards are just like, oh, you just have 10 grand to put at Tao. There's a reason why it was enough that Dave was like, no, I'm not doing that. You know what I mean? Like, even in a pinch, it's like, alright, I'll pay for it, Caleb. You'll pay me back

or whatever. I mean, Barstool got content out of it. Ace of Spades should have had to pay us for it. We were talking about Ace of Spades. What did your friend from Ace of Spades say? Oh, he loved it. Yeah, I mean, but he didn't think you're an idiot. So he didn't think that you all. He said, you're an idiot, but he loved it. So he didn't think that you were actually

going to get a bottle of Ace of Spades. No, he totally was kidding with me in the group text, but you can't read sarcasm in text. Then that's the lesson. That's sarcasm font. That's the lesson. How in the fuck is it like 300 bucks in the store and 2,500 bucks in the club?

That's the way it is. I mean, like a bottle of Tito's at a club that my girlfriends and I went to around Christmas, a bottle of Tito's is what, like $40 or $50 in the club. That's the way it is. I mean, like, a bottle of Tito's at a club that my girlfriends and I went to around Christmas, a bottle of Tito's is, what, like, $40 or $50 in the store? And it was $500 at the table. Yeah, that's insane. That's club life, man, because you're not going to say no. You're going to be like, another round.

Let's go. I was in Vegas, and I got, like, magnets. And they didn't show me also. They didn't show me the prices. Right. Well, that's the other thing, too, is that, again, it's like you're in, like, a lounge where it's like you're supposed to be able to afford this shit. So we're not going to put prices on there.

That's, like, chintzy. But a lot of places do have the menu, which is how we saw it. We're like, we're not buying a bottle of Tito's for $500. Like, not that we don't. We couldn't all split it. But the fact is, like, it's not. You're not paying $500 for Tito's. I was at my brother's bachelor party in Vegas, and we got, like, a Magnum bottle of, I think, Kettle One.

And there was a lot of guys on that trip. And I was best man, so I'm like'm like i got everything one bottle comes in by the time it goes around like once for everyone to get like one cocktail it comes to me and it's like empty i was like i and she she didn't even leave like the waitress just stood there and waited for that to happen she was like another one i was like yes but you know those are like several hundred dollars, not thousands of dollars. The tale of the Ace of Spades. That was legendary. That's not like we'll put you on the map, but that's definitely what exploded things for you. We glanced over the fact that he had to contact Resnick at four in the morning.

I'm actually stunned. I don't think Resnick 2019 even says yes to that. No, no, no. Everyone was still getting their toes wet. He answered you immediately? Yeah, he did. I think at that point it's new. I think he kind of has a heart. I think he's like, alright, we'll figure this out. We're all

together. Now it's like a big-ass company. If you worked for a corporation at a desk job and you were like, hey, I'm just going to put this on the company card, they'd be like, fuck you. You know what I mean? At that point, it was like we're all friends. I don't think today that happens. And to him, too, which will sound funny to old-school stoolies,

but to him, I was like an employee who had been there for a long time. Right. He had just started working at Barstool, and I had been working at Barstool for a year. You were the vet. I was a vet. This is happening, and we'll figure it out later. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now he's like, you know, fuck that. I run the ship here. Yeah, right. What a tail man. What would have happened though, in theory, if you couldn't use the company card? You would have gotten arrested on the spot. I don't know if it's like arrested as

much as it's like they probably just have all your information and they're like... I wouldn't think they can just let you leave. Do you think it hurts your credit score? Probably. I don't know. I mean, the they can just let you leave. Do you like hurt your credit score? Probably. Probably. I don't know. I mean the joke always

is like you know you like wash dishes but that's when you run out on like a dinner bill. They probably just like You can't wash $10,000 worth of dishes. They just max out

your credit card and then figure out what's left and then go from there? They come take your sofa? I'm sure it's happened. It's happened to us. Just give me like

all your possessions. Like people get blackout and don't know what they're ordering. But what's funny is at the end of the day, it's really only a few hundred dollars worth of actual shit. It's just like you can't afford our markup.

I know that's their business, but it's not like you took $10,000 worth of something. You took $400 worth of something. Especially because $5,000 of it was coming back to you. Just don't charge them that thing. It's tough, though. I remember people, you shouldn't order if you can't afford it, blah, blah, blah.

But it's like, but we're also talking about scumbag club owners who fucking gouge the price up to own your soul because they think they can. So there's no good guys here. Sure. There's no winners. I would have called the Ace of Spades guy. I mean, like, hey, can you help me out? That's what really should have happened is like, listen, I'm going to give you a million dollars worth of promotion in the next month on this fucking argument. So just cover a bottle for me.

Yeah. I mean, we've got bottles. And after that, they sent bottles to us. Oh, yeah. In fact, they got all Dave's enemies. That was through that. That all started from that. And so you were able to, with the shirts and whatever, you ended up paying it all off?

Yeah, I had to come out of pocket for a couple hundred bucks and the shirts came out. Love it. Louis helped me out. Dave paid what he said he was going to pay. Again, though, when you're new to New York

and it's like you're living check to check, you're eating like ramen noodles for dinner and shit, all of a sudden you have like an extra $2,000 bill that you didn't know about. It's like, oh man.

It's the face of spades. We were talking about it earlier. It's not like you can enjoy that bottle for very long either. It's just gone. No. And there's a small quantity in those things too. But you know what? It was really cool for a couple hours. You were really fucking cool that night. I definitely got some good pictures.

Oh shit. And that's what it's all about. That's what it's all about. Thank you guys for having me. Travel shows out? having me travel shows out yeah travel shows out uh week four coming up week four washington dc is tomorrow and i think we're gonna have the finale the following week beautiful so i mean it's been a short run well that we went the first the first episode came out on christmas we kind of we went against rough and rowdy

um the third episode came out on the second episode came out on new year's, we went against rough and rowdy. Um, the third episode came out on, or the second episode came out on New Year's day. We went against football. Third episode came out, which was last week against, uh, Barstool Gold. It's such, it's a good product though. I mean, you guys put together real shit. Thank you. Was that, that was Ben on the, on the production and the edit and whatnot. Buddha Ben on the edit.

And, uh, and you know, we had to help from a lot of people. Heavens. There's a lot of behind the scenes guys who people won't know on the edit. And we had help from a lot of people. Heavens. There's a lot of behind-the-scenes guys who people won't know on the radio. But a lot of people worked on it and we're proud of how it turned out. It's on Barstool, obviously, and YouTube as well. You can just YouTube it.

The blowjob part of the first one on Christmas, I was just watching that and my mom walked around the corner and was like, what is this? I was like, mom, it's fine. It's the Barstool Travel Show. That was hilarious. It's good to watch you and Roan do something.

Because old Barstool is very much like put the camera on, just record yourself giving a take, write a blog, just what's your opinion. And then when new guys like you came along, that was like you have much more creativity and much more to offer. I don't know if it's more. I just think it's a different type. It's good to find that.

You put me in front of the camera and you tell me, hey, Caleb, give me a take on the Panthers or whatever. I'm never going to be able to do what you guys do. So it's just different. I'm happy to see it all come together, though, and a good show. So check out the Barstool Travel Show.

It's Caleb and Roan. And drink your Ace of Spades, kids. your aces pay its kids people give you air so i'll be sublime it's enjoyable to know you and the concubines niggas take off your coats ladies act like gems sit down indian styles you recite these now see lyrically i'm mario and ready on the momo ludicrously speedy or infectious with the slow-mo heard me in the 80s jb's on the promo am i never in the class to get the paper on the but now all right we're back uh A couple things to take care of. I'm going to be doing the first ever Barstool Gold AMA tomorrow

night. So if you are a Barstool Gold member, tomorrow I think it's 7 o'clock, I'll be doing a video where you can AMA ask me anything. So I'll take reader submitted questions and we'll talk about it. So that's the first one ever.

I wonder why. I wonder what people want to ask me about. I wonder what their questions are going to be like. I'm so stupid. I didn't even put that together. I was like, oh, I'll switch with you if you want. No, I think they want me first. I mean, they were like, hey, Kev, would you mind doing this?

I'm like, oh, sure. I wonder fucking why. They got me planned for March. Just like, hey, whatever. And they're like, is that good for you? I have no idea. I probably won't be alive. Fights will be dead by March 1st.

Sure. March 14th. Sounds great. You can plan anything months in advance with me, and I'll agree to it. Oh, I'm a week. Sure. You got a week in advance. Wake up.

But now when it shows up, I'll cancel. You're going to cancel this AMA. I promise you that. When the time comes. No fucking way. So if you want to sign up for Barstool Gold, do barstoolgold.com slash KFC. We have an episode of the Cutting Room Floor coming out. So an extra bonus podcast for you. Right now, behind the blog featuring Francis is out.

Fights has his The One one thing I learned animated series out we have a bonus podcast with Dan coming out later in January what else we got that there's the documentary I think the I think the war on Barstool gold might be looking a little different

yep there's $10 tea options we got a lot of we got a lot of things but the AMA should be interesting because there's a few things that I, uh, would like to clear the air on. And I'm sure there's a million questions that you vulture motherfuckers have for me. I did a little, uh, uh, I wanted to get a couple of questions from Instagram that we could potentially answer. So I did a IG answers post and the questions are just,

there's people like, just tell us what's really going on with your divorce like fuck you how about that why why do i have to do that huh why you son of a bitch how often do you see your kids suck my dick how about that just tell us what's going on with your divorce yeah that's an interesting question that's that's not even a question that's a demand yeah and just somebody thinks that he's actually going to do that. It's just crazy. It's crazy. Just give him a Soulja Boy answer.

My lawyer said not to. Yeah. That's what happened when we asked Soulja about Nintendo. My lawyer told me I can't say that. Even that. Even Soulja Boy was so cool in that. I was like, okay. That's cool.

And then he big time Dave. Yeah. And that's why he's the coolest of all. Casey Smith. Clickbait case up in this pitch. She wrote a blog about the 20th anniversary of Varsity Blues, which means it's the 20th

anniversary of the Ali Larder whipped cream bikini, which is an iconic moment, a watershed moment for guys and girls alike. Everybody remembers that scene. I remembers that scene. I wrote that in my blog. I mean, I was in elementary school when it came out.

So, like, at the time, my first thought was, I have no idea what people older than me are actually up to. If this is what they're doing. But if you are male, female, gay, straight, bi, I don't care. You appreciate that scene. You appreciated it then. You appreciate it now. Because of just how well. I mean, obviously, it ends up being kind of sad because it doesn't work out for her but the iconic moment where she's like do you want some whipped cream and then comes out in the whipped cream i mean come on i just creativity point you ever

done a bikini uh i've tried it did not go as well so that's why i was it's just it's so perfectly done yeah it's not it can't be really we've all seen the photo tricks that's gone viral now right yeah yeah well that's what i mean all seen the photo tricks that's gone viral now, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what made me think of it. You gotta use shaving cream. But nobody wants to eat shaving cream fights. What happened there? I crossed up a nut. Oh, no.

Poor guy. Poor nut. Yeah, everybody's seen these videos now of, like, the commercial tricks, and they don't actually use this. They use motor oil. They don't actually use that. They use whipped cream, shaving cream. So her whipped cream bikini is so

perfectly in place. Does she have cherries as like her nipples? Yeah. I mean, it's all so perfect. I wouldn't even be surprised if that was not that was just like plastic. Or if it was just like a solid material that wasn't even cream. Yeah, or like some sort of like fabric and then she has like

sticky boobs on. I just grabbed my own boobs. That was an aggressive move. I apologize apologize that'll be a gift don't worry the uh yeah it's for sure one of those moments that I'm sure a million teenagers at the time went out and tried to do and they were like this is a catastrophe when you mix the food

in general if you try to do any whipped cream or syrup or any of that shit I've done alcoholic whipped cream oh yeah I've done the regular whipped cream but it's any of that shit. I've done alcoholic whipped cream. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I've done the regular whipped cream, but it's just become... Casey's like, yup, yup. Yeah, I'm down there with that. It just becomes a mess. It's just a sticky fiasco. Yeah. Especially if you try to do

chocolate sauce. That's like some thick... No, I've never done chocolate sauce. I just don't do that. I think whipped cream is the only... I'm like the Antichrist stands. I like my food separately. Yeah. I think I think... Yeah, I think so. You're just like running through memory lane right now? There was one time I think Yeah I think so You're just like Running through memory lane

Right now There was one time I think I like I was like really drunk I think I tried to like Pour a little bit of a beer And like as I had that She's like

What the fuck are you doing And I was like Whoops sorry Bring it in Bring it in Thought we were On the same page here There was a time

That fights did The whipped cream bikini Remember that I did Yeah You were putting I could just see Fuddleburg Oh I was like Fuck I forgot about that one I thought we were on the same page here. There was a time that fights did the whipped cream bikini. Remember that? I did? Yeah. I could just see Fidelberg. Oh, I was like, fuck, I forgot about that one.

So this inspired Casey to write the top movie bikini moments of all time. Now, I mean, the whipped cream bikini, it stands alone in its own genre of it's not even really a bikini but bathing suit scenes are iconic in movies almost everybody casey was funny casey came over our little a little bullpen man fucking boy section she was just like what's your favorite scene in a bikini scene in a movie and everybody had a different answer she basically came over was like all right what were you creeps jerking off to when you were 14 yeah i mean that's basically what i was doing because like 20 years ago i mean a lot of us are like you know elementary school junior high high school whatever but like that's the iconic one but i'm thinking like i'm not talking about panties and

bras because like there's that too like bikini scenes have a different feel because usually they're getting wet too okay true so you like you guys in like junior high like high school age like that's like i wanted to know what the first one that popped in your mind was, which probably in turn was which one turned you on the most. Well, but you know what's funny? My answer to that question is Summer Catch with Jessica Biel. But I don't think, I mean, I've only probably seen Summer Catch, like, once in my life. I've seen Summer Catch a million times. I love Summer Catch.

Like, I've seen a lot of other bikini scenes much more than that. But that scene, Jessica Biel popping out of the water. Oh, Jesus. Did you do it again? No. Something's wrong with Futterberg today. Nuts is back. Just a calamity. Everything's a disaster. I was Jessica Biel, too,

so we didn't know the differences. I did throw out Wild Things, too. Did you see the blog? Did you see the gif I put in there? I've been a little busy with Soldier Boy today. I didn't know if you just looked it up. I put a very nice... Is it gif or jif? I say gif.

Wild Thing's got a nice gif thrown in that as well. I've never seen Wild Thing. I've just seen that scene a million times. You need to see that movie. It's pretty good. It's a great movie. There's lots of twists and turns. You never know what's going to happen.

It's much more about backstabbing and double crossing than it is threesomes. But the threesome's really important. Yeah, the pool scene where the two girls are making out. Staple, but not the whole thing. Carmen Electra, right? No, it's Denise Richards and Campbell. That's it. Now, Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, I think, was like the OG one.

Where she's popping out in the red bikini. And then I feel like that Jessica Biel kind of like remade that almost no I mean she's Alessandra did the Victoria's Secret Angel remade it I all the ones that I put in the blog were like they were said multiple times because there were some that people

just like threw out there I was like oh that's a good one but they were the only person that said it out loud so I have so I have Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I have Halle Berry. I actually think you threw that one out there. Fights. Did you? In the Bond movie, Die Another Day? Oh, no, but it's a great one.

Shout out Halle Berry in Swordfish, too, if it's just the bottom. Does that count? Yeah. She was missing half of it. That was a big deal when Halle Berry let him out. And then when she did Monster's Ball, she just straight up had sex with Billy Bob Thornton on camera. You can't tell me

there was not penetration in that scene. No. Or, yeah, and then they were doing it absolutely when the cameras weren't rolling. Right.

You just can't do it. I put Jessica Alba into the blue. That scene where Paul Walker basically grabs a handful as she's swimming around. When you're swimming in a bikini that's up your butt,

it is quite the scene. It is. Jessica Biel, Summer Catch, Denise Richards in Wild Things, and I threw this one in. It is quite the scene. It is. Jessica Biel, Summer Catch, Denise Richards and Wild Things. And I threw this one in just, you know, to spice up the blog a little bit. I'm telling you, clickbait case. It's a good spice.

It's a good spice. I did Wendy Peppercorn just because it's like a classic. I don't even know the actress's real name. Didn't really care. But, I mean, obviously that bathing suit's like a dress now. But whatever. The Brooklyn Decker versus Jennifer Aniston battle in Just Go With It. Both of those were good. Kate Upton in The Other Woman.

Monsters. And Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard. You know who the husband is in The Other Woman, right? Adam Sandler? Lady Gaga's ex-husband, right? No, it's Jamie Lannister, I believe. I believe it's Nicolai Costar-Waldau. I don't think so, is it?

What's Casey? I'm typically right. Casey, I had Gabrielle Union in Bad Boys 2. That's a good one. Damn. I was 11. It is Jamie Lannister. It is?

Damn, I love that guy. He gets kicked in the dick at one point, I believe. Zach from Buffalo, what do you got? This is a little different. different he says nudity in a movie but it's all kind of the same same ballpark here what do you got zach so i uh i've been catching up on my kfc radio i've been stumbling across the uh the rockets recaps and um i was listening to the segment where you guys were talking about the first time you saw nudity in a movie. And I thought of the first time I saw it and it was Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo, when I was about nine years old, 23 now. And my dad was watching.

That's an American. My uncle. And I snuck up the stairs and was like kind of hanging out on the stairs, watching it without knowing I was there. I mean, the things that we'll do to just catch a titty here. Tom from Texas, he's talking bikinis. What's up, Tom? So I have a theory. I think it's just Jessica Biel in general because this is a little different.

But if you see her in that bikini after the rainstorm and Chuck and Larry, the same damn thing. That's an all-time. We discussed that, and it didn't make the cut because it's her underwear. But, yeah, when she is just popping that ass as she scrolls through the closet. That actually might be my favorite gift of all time. It's very popular. It's around a lot.

Exceptional. RJ from Long Island. What do you got on famous bikini scenes? Hey, what's going on? I got Brooklyn Decker from Just Go With It when she's coming out of the water on the beach. Oh, yeah. That one's on there.

Yeah, I put that one on there. I think Decker never quite had the longevity. But when she popped on the scene, I think it's because Kate Upton came right along and she basically just did that but more popular. I think it's also because her husband's Andy Murray and she's like, we got a lot of money.

We're good. I don't need to do any of this shit. I like her because she seems pretty self-deprecating. She'll throw up stuff on Instagram where she's got no makeup on, still looking like a smoke, obviously, but she makes fun of herself

and Andy Roddick makes fun of himself. Andy Murray or Andy Roddick? Andy Roddick, I think. Did I say Murray? Yeah, he was on Boomer and Carton this morning,

Boomer and Geo. He's aging. He's what? He's aging. Roddick? Yeah. Roddick is? He's kind of got the Prince? He's aging. Brodick? Yeah. Brodick is? He's kind of got like the Prince William, Prince Harry type vibe going.

It's going quick. It's like you burned hot and bright and then your peak you were a fucking man rocket. But at your peak you also caught Brooklyn Decker. Yeah. I'm sure Brooklyn Decker is awesome because she's friends with Chrissy Teigen. And I feel like you can't be friends with Chrissy Teigen unless you have a good personality and you take a joke and stuff like that. Yeah. That movie, just go with it though. with Chrissy Teigen and I feel like you can't be friends with Chrissy Teigen unless you have a good personality and you take a joke and stuff like that.

Yeah. That movie, just go with it though. That was tough because Jennifer Aniston is also like waltzing around in a bikini too. Good for Adam Sandler.

Right? He's the guy in that? Yeah. Wade from Wisconsin. Bikini scenes. What's going on? Kate Upton and I can't think

of the name of the movie but it's the three girls that are fighting for the one dude. The other woman. Oh, you have that on there? Yeah, I do. It's a great scene. She's got that white bikini on.

Great scene. Great scene. I just love the calls. Can the class not hear them when we're talking before? I don't know, because those back-to-back calls just now named two of the ones we've discussed. They can hear, yeah. Which, by the way, the guy I said that was Lady Gaga's ex-husband or whatever, he's also in The Other Woman.

He's the one that... Taylor Kinney, whatever his name is? Yeah, he's the one that Cameron Diaz ends up with. I don't remember. I only saw... I saw whatever it is once on cable five years ago. The masked Cameron Diaz, too? I don't know if she's ever in a bikini. Yeah, you're just like...

I would remember if she was in a bikini. The red dress scene is her scene. That is... Cameron Diaz is a very attractive girl, but... Cameron Diaz is also married to Benji Madden. That's right. A bit of a twist. And had her stint with A-Rod.

Had her stint with A-Rod, yeah. Weird. Weird list that she has. Mike from Long Island. New guy bikini scene? New guy. What's the new guy? Yeah, Elijah Dushku from the new guy.

It's like she tries on like 10 different bikinis. Full-time scene. Zaja stood up with his hands in the air. Like he fucking scored a game-winning goal. He's literally, it's good. That's a one out of 10. I recommend. Yeah.

Elijah Dushku is another one. The new guy is a movie I can place it now. I couldn't place it when I just heard it. I haven't seen that in forever. It was funny when I first saw it. Oh, this scene where she's got the pearls in her mouth. I forgot about that. That's a good one.

That's a sneaky one that I could have put in the blog. I forgot about that. She is super hot. She is one of the more underrated girls ever. I'll put her up there on that list. Chris from Delaware. I love the things that get the calls lit up. I'm just going to call up and say this scene out loud.

What's up, Chris? The scene or really anything with Mila Kunis, but what, Justin Timberlake and Friends of Benefits? I mean, I definitely remember the movie, but... I don't remember that movie. I mean, they go the movie But Is she in the movie?

I don't remember that movie I mean they're at the They go to his family's house In LA but I mean like what Are they just sitting on the porch? No they did a lot of Sex scenes and stuff

Where they get in these things She's like walking around And stuff I don't know The exact scene She did sex scenes And stuff Such a heartbreaking scene

When she's hiding In the magician's box. Oh, brutal. She's fucked up, mom. She's fucked up. We're never going to be together. That was brutal. That's so sad.

Yeah, the caveat, I think this guy is talking, I mean, we were just talking about bikini scenes, not sex scenes. I was ranking. I know that scene when they start dancing to Criss Cross and stuff like that. I know the scene very well. Yeah, we were just throwing it back because of the whipped cream bikini. But I mean, there are a lot of that's not real, is it? I'm looking at Mila Kunis. It's supposed to be.

It's Mila Kunis in like a fucking G string. I'm like, that can't be. I mean, it's not from a movie scene, but I mean, it looks pretty real. Is it from GQ? Because it looks like she did like a pretty sexy GQ shoot. I mean, this one can't be real. All time. Not forgetting Sarah Marshall even without mean, this one can't be real. Not forgetting Sarah Marshall even without the sex appeal. No, it's definitely not real.

That's Mila Kunis' asshole. That can't be real. Kyle from Buffalo, what you got? So it's kind of a curveball, but I'm going to say Rachel Hunter, not from a movie, but from the Stacey's Mom music video. She comes out of the pool,

the red bikini. She fucking gets of the pool with a bikini. She puts up in the kitchen pole dancing. By far the greatest bikini scene of any movie or music video. So that's Kyle who's been jerking off to my music videos. I mean, Stacey's mom was...

That was the ultimate. Who sings Stacey's mom? Pop quiz. Fountains of Wine. Yep. Fuck. Did you know that? I would never have said that. As soon as you said... The only reason I know that is because you remember those little... What were those called before the iPods?

Your one song would scroll across. Do you know what I'm talking about? I know what you're talking about. It wasn't a Zune, but it was like... Something. And I just remember you see it over and over and over because stacy's mom was a banger yeah stacy's mom was a big hit i'm looking at the music video right now she's just hot in the whole thing like the white dress the black the black outfit it's just it's a heavy hitter stacy's mom had it going on there's no doubt you know how many times

casey's mom you know how scarred as a child I was for that? Do you have a hot mom? I think she's pretty good looking. She's my mom, so, but yeah, she's pretty good looking. I bet she's hot. Blair from Georgia, what do you got? Oh, man, okay. Let's be cops.

Nina Dobrev, I think is how you say her last name. She does a little top look. Nina Dobrev I know her from that Vampire Diaries show she is right up there with Sloane from Entourage type pretty she is gorgeous

I mean nobody is Sloane this girl, Nina Dobrev is pretty fucking up there if Sloane didn't have the Sloane effect of being on Entourage. That's true. That's fair. That girl is exceedingly pretty. They kind of look like they could be sisters.

Yeah, that's why I compare them. That's Sloan. Right. I mean, you could flip a coin. I don't know. I'm not even sure who's who. Let's just keep rolling. People are happy.

Mike from New Jersey, what do you got? Of course they're happy. It's bikinis. Come on, guys. I might have a somewhat sleeper, but I'm not sure which fast and furious it is. But the scene where Gal Gadot has to get the handprint off of the guy. So he goes in for a nice squeeze on her ass to get that handprint coming over. Believe that's fast five.

Let's go to the expert. That's quite a... Gal Gadot did get thrown out there. I think Brett said Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot is... Do you remember... I love Gal Gadot. I just wish Wonder Woman didn't stink so bad. I don't like Wonder Woman either. I went into it with the highest

of expectations because... But people hyped it up so much. It was so hyped up. I love Gal Gadot. I love Chris Pine. It fell very flat for me. That was all hype because it up so much. It was so hyped up. It was like, I love Gal Gadot. I love Chris Pine. And it like, it fell very flat. That is, that was all hype

because it was a girl. Yeah. Unfortunately, that was a guy movie. And also I didn't, I didn't know like the Wonder Woman's powers. Like it's,

it's the most female superpower in history. It's the lasso of truth. Like it just makes you tell the truth. That's your superpower. You have to be honest. Like who wrote that? Like the most sexist person tell the truth? That's your superpower? You have to be honest? Like, who wrote that?

Like, the most sexist person in the world wrote that. Yeah, that's true. Like, Superman, he can see titties through clothes. Wonder Woman, she makes you tell the truth when you're looking at the lady's titties. Joe, Delaware. A lot of Delaware calling in right now. You guys love your bikinis, huh?

Get the bikinis in the water. Yes, sir. I was going to sayinis, huh? Get the bikinis in the water. Yes, sir. I was going to say, I don't know the actress's name, but the bikini scene from Chris's Vacation where Griswold's thinking about... Yes!

That's Christy Brinkley, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what is one? I almost put that one in there, but then I was like... I was the only one that said it. I was like, I can't put mine in.

No, that's classic. You can't put that in. I want to amend my answer. As much as I agree with Jessica Biel, there's one, I can't put my answer. No, that's classic. You gotta put that in. I want to amend my answer. As much as I agree with Jessica Biel, there's one that I can't believe I didn't say and it just popped into my head. Tara Reid and Ben Wilder in the wake of it.

Oh, that is I'm ashamed of myself. You gotta stop. I am ashamed. You can put it on the board. I am very upset with myself to not say that

you gotta update that blog I gotta edit this a white bikini with a tan girl is just an all time duo and at this point Tara Reid nah nah I've seen Van Wilder probably 200 times I'm so devastated I didn't think about that

I mean nobody said that and I ask a lot of people in the office i'm gonna go edit this blog right now it's it's it's how the fuck did we forget this she that was pre-partied out it was probably tom brady era she's damn she's hitchhiking for the for a ride on the golf cart she made a fucking fisherman's jacket like fisherman raincoat looks sexy as shit. You think that Burt Kreischer was fucking girls like that? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's based after him, right? Tara Reid in the white bikini. Dang, I can't. It's so funny because, you know,

in this era of Pornhub and just God knows whatever else you can find on the internet, there's still something about just a solid bikini scene in a movie. Nostalgia. Nostalgia fucking plays. It just works. Nostalgia's where it's at. It's nostalgia. Nostalgia fucking plays, man. It just works. Nostalgia is where it's at. It's funny, too, because all these directors, you know, it's like, yeah, whatever.

You're watching like a PG-13 movie, but in that moment, they're like, all right, well, zoom in. The water's going to be falling off her tits. Zoom in on her ass. You're all like a porn director deep down. You know exactly what you're doing in this scene right here. Paul Walker grabs that ass, and you see the slow-mo shaking and all that shit. Everybody's a little bit of a pervert. Come on. Sean from Cleveland, what you're doing in this scene right here. Paul Walker grabs that ass and you see the slow-mo shaking and all that shit. Everybody's a little bit of a pervert. Come on. Sean from Cleveland, what you got?

Hey, it's not quite Tara Reid. It's not exactly a bikini, but Elizabeth's shoe and cocktail. Never seen cocktail. I haven't either. You're old. Oh, you fucking played it off today with Dean Winter, didn't you? I mean, I know about the movie.

I'm not going to tell you the bikini scenes from it, but I know Tom Cruise being the hot shot bartender. I know. A quick Google search. I knew you hadn't seen it, but even then I was like, he's playing this off pretty well. Kevin, you owe that guy an apology. Just my opinion. Why? Because you liked it?

Just take a Google. If you want to Google. Well, yeah. I mean, Elizabeth Shue. I mean, she dominated the 80s, but here's the problem. It's like being good in the dead ball era. It's the 80s. You know what I mean?

I can't find a gif of Tara Reid from Van Wilder. Just a still shot will do. Just perfectly fine her with a thumb out. That's all you need. I can't find it. Maybe I'm just spelling her name wrong or something. T--r-a-r-e-i-d i'm looking i mean i literally tara reed bikini van wilder and there's it's her with the the skirt on oh yeah it's a bikini top yeah she's kind of got like a cover-up thing going on

so is this picture would this picture do it yeah yeah yeah that's it that's that's the one that's you're good all right it's the smoke in the background the tan whoo buddy she's the one yep eric from florida what you got uh how about the uh tommy boy scene where my boy chris farley's peeking on the girl skinny dipping? Yeah, somebody threw that out there. You said skinny dipping. We're going bikinis. You gotta have a little something. I'll leave a little something to the imagination. Either way, I feel like if you're like a

kid going through puberty now, this doesn't move the needle anymore. The chick who... kid going through puberty now. You're not, like, this is just not, this doesn't move the needle anymore. The chick who... Dude, I watched, like, Double A-No when I was seven years old. The chick who, in Austin Powers, which is, like, one of my first

very, like, iconic scenes. Like, I paused it because... A lot of vagina. Yeah, a lot of vagina. You can, like, almost see, like, the top of her boobs. I remember I was at my aunt's apartment in Philadelphia

and I was like just hoping I wasn't even old enough to jerk off. I was just staring at it. You got the whole half moon and nipple. You get like a half nipple and I just had to unpause

in a real opinion. I was like, no, she doesn't wake up while I just sit here staring at this half nipple for an hour. But I think she gets in the hot tub

with a bikini on. I think she takes it off. I could be wrong. But if she gets in the hot tub with a bikini on, I'd like takes it off. I could be wrong. But if she gets in the hot tub with a bikini on, I'd like a lot of vagina on there, please. Somebody called up and said that the other day, and that's one of those things I think everybody was doing, and I didn't know that everybody else was doing it.

I thought I was the only one who realized that that nipple pops above the bubbles real quick. But everybody was like, pause. It's like, okay, it's on the DVD chapter, like, 13, four minutes and three seconds. Like, boom, right there there you're going to see a big fat fake nipple all boys are like eagle eye

snipers when it comes to a nipple boom that was a nipple rewind it we can decipher them through the scramble the first nipples we saw were coming through like the black and white colorful scramble porn you can be anything even remotely, like regularly.

I had Spice Channel coming in my room just so scrambled. Have you ever been in the car with your dad when you're kind of out of radio service for the baseball game and he just keeps driving? Maybe it's just my dad does it.

It's just like, listen through static and eventually you'll hear Joe Castillo going, strike three on the outside! And it's like, dude,'s just my idea. It's just like, listen through static, and eventually you'll hear Joe Castillo going, like, it's strike three on the outside! And it's like, dude, that was the first word we heard in 15 minutes. And he's like, it's fine. It's fine. It's going to come back. We're driving further away. It's not going to come back. We're going the opposite direction. But that's how we were with porn.

Where it's like, I'll fight through this. I'll fight through this. Weather the storm here. It'll pop up. When I found out my grandma had an illegal box when I just turned on the Spice Channel and it just fucking worked at my grandma's house. Do you want to know the fact? Actually, you know what? The first time I was watching porn at my grandma's house.

The first time I ever saw porn was I was watching at my buddy's house. We were watching WrestleMania. And the box just switched. The pay-per-view ended. It just switched. It was in the middle of a match. It just switched. And it wasper-view ended. It just switched. It didn't even, it was the middle of a match. It just switched and it was a secretary

getting banged in the butt. And I just thought that's how you had sex. I just thought that like, like sex, like penis is going butts. That's just. Well, guess what, John?

Damn. They do. They fucking do. All right, that's it. Sorry, everyone. We didn't get to your bikini calls. Call us up tomorrow. Same time, same place.

Clancy and the Rockets on Power 85. Chicks in the Office is up next. You stay hot. I'm going to die tonight. You are just ridiculously stupid.

Oh, yeah.