KFC Radio - Creed Bratton, Brian Baumgartner, The Long Island Carpenter Saga, and a Blog Recovered from Devnest

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

Subscribe, rate, and leave a review. -Feits is playing with a hangover -Kanye West's controversial first "Presidential Rally" -Trevor Lawrence got engaged as a sophomore in college -KFC got a wild series of texts from a random number -Feits dug up a blog that was thought to be lost due to the Devnest -Top 5 Characters from The Office -Voicemails include: Quarantine ruined my twenties, pet named after ex, and cashless society (01:31:00) Brian Baumgartner joins the show to discuss his new podcast The Oral History of The Office. He tells us about what went in to making The Office, almost getting cancelled, and why it's stood the test of time. He also gives us insight into developing the character of Kevin Malone, his reaction to the long term pop culture impressions he's created, and much more. Check out his podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1519uHGVd6Te2xF5tKkR?si=N29cziawQJuc0x-zvOckEw (02:08:45) Creed Bratton joins the show to discuss his long music career, converting fans of The Office into long term fans of his music, and much more. Check out his new album here: https://open.spotify.com/album/4Mc8gETsSxXw45kkrrvXFS?si=rdOEHs6pSIOtPkdkJUePSAYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'll jerk off on the Barstool Sports Network. This episode is being performed by 1.5 humans. That's a high number. 1.1? What level of human are you right now? One.

One human is doing this show. What? You're not even... You're a zero. I'm honest. This is straight up true. I'm embarrassed to be on camera right now. You can hear it in his voice, too.

I walked into the studio today, and Nick had his phone out filming me. I was like, oh, boy, what is it? I'm walking into an ambush, and then I look down, and Feidelberg is just, like, sprawled out across the floor, his mask pulled up over his entire face. I went to block the light. Charlie Kelly green, man. I couldn't stop staring through the lights, but I get in my eyes, and I was like, all right, this will help.

I mean, it barely helped, but it helped a little bit. Bag strewn about, body, limbs everywhere, and he said. Pizza. Pizza box just filled with cold pizza. That I told the guy, don't even warm it up. I don't deserve it to be warmed up. He said this is the one to two hangovers per year that I get. Well, I want to be clear about something, too.

I'm not a guy who's like, I can't stand these people. I would get hangovers. People who don't get hangovers love to tell you they don't get hangovers. When I wake up in the morning after I drank, I know I drank the night before. I can feel it. I'm not like, oh know I drank the night before. I can feel it. I'm not like, oh, it's a regular day. I feel great. I'm not crippled.

Today, I'm crippled. I mean, the amount – it's usually girls, but a lot of people will do this in general. They'll be like – I think I caught a bug. It's like, oh, yeah, you just caught a random stomach bug the night after you drank 15 drinks. Like, no, no, no, it's just allergies. No, it's not. And usually it's girls who won't admit it. It's just like, just admit it. You're's girls Who won't admit it Just like just admit it

You're hungover You poisoned your body And your body is now Like detoxifying And it sucks But But you You're just saying that

Like you're not You're not gonna like Only one or two times a year Will you be like You know Really affect Only one or two times a year Will I sleep in the

Fucking studio On the floor The thing is too Is that And you thought I wasn't even here That was a big deal this morning for me where i was like i woke up at like 10 i can't believe you're if you were this hung over you gotta let me know no we could have just rearranged everything yeah but like i i i knew we had a meeting we had a meeting today at noon i was here like 11 45 or something like that passed out by 11 46

but you were here but i was here and i knew when you like that, passed out by 1146. But you were here. But I was here, and I knew when you came in, wake up, we start the meeting. You want to know how hungover I was? How hungover are you? It was worse then. I'm okay now. But I was so hungover. You were talking about the mail time thing when you just woke me up while I was on that floor.

Yeah. I kept thinking you were like, Jarrett is here i just like they got interviewed some guy named jarrett oh jerry you know we got jerry for kfc radio i was like it sounds like something that nick and kevin must have talked about already jarrett is here i'm gonna get it was just it was just the rocket. That's fucking hilarious. I was here the whole time in our seats, and I was just like, ah, you know. And then I was waiting for you, and then Casey was like, I'm getting conflicting reports because I asked you, like, did you guys go out of the ordinary?

And you said no, and Casey was like, oh, yes, we did. No, we didn't. I drank a lot, but that's not out of the ordinary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. I drank a lot, but that's not out of the ordinary. Yeah, that's the thing. I also think the thing is you just keep drinking. You're never hung over because you're always drunk. Hair of the dog is just constant. Yeah, that's true.

It's tough to be hung over when you're always drunk. Words of wisdom for you, folks. So we're going to get through this episode, and the reason why is because today's episode is the Office episode. We have Creed Bratton and Brian Bumgarner, who is – Kevin Malone. Kevin Malone, who is – both of them were great interviews. Brian Bumgarner is maybe my favorite interview we've ever done.

He was so incredible, I can't even – And it's kind of cheating because it is like – sometimes people – you feel like I'm being a little aggressive with how much I'm talking about this character you did 10 years ago. Yeah, but he embraces it. But but also he's promoting. Yes. A podcast about. That's what was cool. You know, whenever we do these interviews, we usually get these A-list celebrities who are on to new projects and we got to talk about those.

But we're really here to talk about Always Sunny or the office or your favorite movie or whatever well he's here to promote a office podcast a podcast about the history of the office and so it was all fair game so i didn't have to bite my tongue i didn't have to be like all right let's move on just one more question about the office then we'll move on the whole thing was about the, and he is a phenomenal actor because he is actually the wittiest, quickest, most clever, well-spoken, articulate guy, and he just played this big doofus. The one thing I always – and he touches on it, and I almost spoke up at the time when there's – he's like – we're talking about how everything is easy and blah, blah, blah,

and he's talking about how new fame, everyone's going to be on TV. And I was like, I could probably act before that interview and then when he does something where he explains how like his feet were always planted yeah and how kevin doesn't turn his head kevin turns his whole body i was like that's like i don't even consider body acting right that's insane makes like when you when he described that i'm like that's what kevin. I knew exactly what he was talking about. And that's what, like, a big doofus, like, would do. He would turn his whole body, not just his neck. So incredible interview with him.

We'll get into those. I mean, if you're an Office fan, you're going to fuck, and everyone is, because apparently, what was it, 850 million minutes? I think it was, yeah. Something like that. Hundreds of millions of minutes are being consumed of The Office just in like quarantine. Day one. No, day one.

The first day of quarantine. Day one of quarantine. It's like 250 million. By the way, I don't think he should have been sharing those numbers with us. I think Netflix is very tight with their numbers. Dude. I'm surprised they even tell him, but like I don't think he should have been sharing those numbers. Netflix is saying that that new.

They live out everything. What's her name? Charlize Theron. Yeah, the new Charlize Theron assassin thriller, which I think she's made three of those now. It's like, what are you doing, Charlize? Apparently that's the third most watched movie in Netflix history. They do that every new movie that comes out.

Every kind of big new movie. They're like 100 million people watch this weekend. I think they include when it's on the top carousel in the first 10 seconds start. they're like most 100 million people watched this weekend I think they include 100 million people watched they include like when it's on the top carousel in the first like

10 seconds start that's like a view that's like we watched it because there's no fucking way that movie is top there was one one movie I forget

it wasn't Extraction it was probably the movie like their big movie before Extraction where it was like it was out for an hour and they were like 27 million people watched I remember that too yeah what? and it was not it was out for an hour and they're like 27 million people watch that too yeah what and it was not like a really good one at all no yeah i know i

remember that too it was just like get lost uh so we'll also do top five of the office uh and of course voicemails but first uh we got to do a little little roundup of uh the, and then I have a new saga on my hands that is, it's almost, I think that someone might be pranking me at how ridiculous this story is. We'll get all into it. It's brought to you by Peacock. Peacock TV is the new streaming service from NBCUniversal. Speaking of The Office. Right.

So if you want to go watch The Office, you want to go watch Friends, Seinfeld, Law & Order SVU, all those Chicago. They got Chicago Fire, Chicago BD. Dick Wolf must be killing the game. Oh, yeah. He's got to be so fucking rich. Dude, Dick Wolf, when streaming started, he must have been like, I'm going to buy six new houses because I got a lot of money.

Could you imagine that when it's like you're already wealthy and successful and then you just get to cash in on all of it all over again. Like just double it up, just double dipping on all your fucking work. So that's what Peacock TV is. It's the new streaming service that has all your old favorites, all your new favorites. It's got like nightly news and today show type stuff. It's also they're they're leading with their new show intelligence, which has Ross from friends and it's like a comedy spoof on, uh, CIA and, and, uh, like the intelligence spy game. So, uh, David Schwimmer and Nick Muhammad are the new dynamic duo.

Jason Bourne with jokes. They call them Jason Bourne with jokes. That's it. Uh, so if you've got any sort of job, doesn't have to be you don't have to work in like the cia if you have any sort of nine to five job you can relate to this just like you can relate to the office and it's on peacock tv which is the new streaming service from nbc universal sign up at peacock tv.com to stream now um we talked about it a little bit on KFC Radio in the past couple weeks. But you said you were done with Kanye, right?

He jumped the shark, right? I think the whole world. I don't think he jumped the shark. I saw the Taylor Swift video and thought that was like an aggressively mean person. Bad person. Right, right. So I was just like an aggressively mean person. Bad person. Right, right. So I was just like, I'm done with him then.

And then the presidential thing was just corny and it was just lame. Just lame, yeah. And then the latest outburst during what's supposed to be a presidential rally in South Carolina,

like, he said he was doing it and then all of a sudden he wasn't doing it and now he's doing a speech again. I'm so angry. Like, everything about it is awful. Everything about it. But now it's our fault. again. I'm so angry. Like, everything about it is awful.

Everything about it. But now it's our fault. Now it's the people's fault. Right. Like, Kanye West is, he is an arrogant asshole for sure. He's a rich, cocky dude. He is a celebrity who's letting the fame and the money go to his head. All that for sure.

But he's also just a mentally ill person. And he's saying it. His album titles, his songs he's just like i'm bipolar i need medication he's just like secretly but not so secretly crying out for help and we're just like we want your sneakers make another album and i and i mean maybe it's a testament to how awesome he is i think he was so unique that when you see craziness when they say there's a fine line between genius and insanity, and maybe he's the perfect example of that, where it's like,

I see some crazy shit going on, but then he did that, and he dropped fucking My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, and it was like, wow. And so maybe I want more of that, and maybe I want more sneakers, and I want to see what he does with Yeezy

and all that shit. But this latest outburst where he... He also... It's sad when I hear him talking about his mother, his father wanted to abort him him and he had thoughts of aborting Northwest. I mean that is like devastatingly sad, right? You're talking about like what would have been maybe an all-time mistake and as a father you have these guilt issues and he's crying. Horrible.

And then he also – but then he also talks about Harriet Tubman and how she didn't help free slaves and it's like well now you're just being an asshole yeah you know when you say that slavery is a choice you're a fucking but when someone like someone who like i mean he is very clearly sick if he's crying and weeping about that's he also like like he's anti-abortion like bro you have two children via surrogate right i know the natural childbirth fucking thing right shut up basically outsourcing your shit fuck off but i mean yeah if you're at what's supposed to be a presidential rally like like i thought i thought this would be like rock bottom and i thought that we would i i've been i'm an old kanye fan and i and that that got like almost cliche at one point the old kanye versus the new kanye and kanye made fun of it with the song and and his fans were always like you're just you know it's

like when jay-z said you want my old shit buy my old albums it's like yeah all right that makes sense artists are allowed to change and evolve and if they change their style and you don't like it like go fuck yourself but then now it's like you can you can definitively say like the person the man has changed where it's like you're now either a lunatic or an asshole or overly political or just like a bipolar person going through an episode. It's like something has changed. I personally think it all relates back to his mother dying. But whatever it is, it's bad. And I think that I thought that we could all finally agree, old Kanye, new Kanye.

I think everybody was going to agree we need another new kanye where he gets better and yet like today there are still fans on the internet being like that was just a passionate speech he wasn't wrong you need to listen to more of it it's just like come on i mean can't we have some sort of big picture view here where you can look at this and just go he wasn't wrong about what uh i mean this was just like literally a tweet i got but you know it has like kanye's like uh fucking fan club in their twitter handle or whatever being like harriet tubman like didn't didn't see that you know the worst part about that stuff is is that like i mean i i don't i don't know i don't i i just know what i was taught right and what i was taught was that right but then also it's like he just kind of it was like a throw-in

he was just like random ranting about Harry it's just like what are you doing dude why would you even be talking about this and there are people who are like he was just passionately speaking about his family and it's like all right fine we just clearly see things differently because if I see a speech like that I know that that is a person who is not in control of their own emotions and if they're not you know that scares me like think that, I thought we were all going to agree, like, let's forget about the presidential thing. Let's not even talk about your new album. Let's put Yeezy Gap on hold.

You've got to, like, go away and get help. And there are still people who are just like, I'll still vote for Kanye, Kanye 2020. And I'm like, guess what? That's how he, that's how he keeps going, though. No, he keeps going because of Chris Jen going because of Chris If you're a mentally unstable Famous person The worst family to be in is the Kardashians

Because they're like What's the line in Hamilton When they Let's get this dude in front of a crowd That's what it's like Whenever Kanye's acting particularly crazy It's like let's sell tickets to this We gotta get a camera going.

We got to get him on a stage. I've always been a staunch – not staunch, but I've always defended the Kardashians because at times I actually think they're a pretty tight-knit family. I always thought it's weird for them. They're rich and they do it on a public scale, but those sisters are always there for each other. But when the people who marry into it seem to all have like you know yeah it's like i can see it being like you know lamar had a heart attack in a in a whorehouse yeah i can see it being like you know the clancy's are crazy but we like we know how we work and if you but if you come in from the outside you'd be like what the fuck is going on chris humphries chris humphries

was the literal simpsons meme. See you later. James Harden, too. James Harden got a taste of Chloe and was like, never mind. I'm going to go be an MVP. Peace out. Disick, out of his mind. I feel like they're not outwardly bad people. Yeah, Bruce had an identity crisis to the highest degree. Yeah, Bruce became a woman.

I guess maybe that's enough evidence that I should stop defending it all. Which, again, is obviously something he could have been dealing with his whole life and all that shit. But, like, it's a pretty severe move. It seems that all these things come to fruition, though, when you're under the Kardashian rule. And even if it's not malicious, it's just, like, I don't think that their first train of thought is not, let's slow down, get out behind the cameras, and, like, you know, let's handle this. Their first thought is, like, how can we spin this?

And I get that, too. It's like, we do that here. If something bad happens to me, I'm like, well, I'll, let's handle this. Their first thought is like, how can we spin this? And I get that too. It's like, we do that here. If something bad happens to me, I'm like, well, I'll make content out of it. And it's like, well, I probably should just address the badness. And like, that's the problem. And they do that to the highest degree. So I don't know. I hope I've always longed for the day where I could be like, told you old Kanye was better.

And now that it's here, I'm like, oh, nobody wins here. This is fucking terrible. It's just sad. So hopefully he fixes that and guess what he's the second craziest person this weekend because trevor lawrence got engaged like god damn the show's over i can't even funk i can't even i'm gonna get i saw i'm so happy you fell on this grenade and i'm so happy you saw what happened because uh i i went through this with carlos correa when carlos correa got engaged uh the age of like – he was like 20 – I don't know.

He was very young, 23 or 24, some shit. He had just won like an ALCS MVP or whatever. Was that what it was? I think they just won the World Series. Yeah, the World Series. Yeah. And he got engaged and I did a video saying like you're a fucking idiot and then Colin McHugh, who's on the Red Sox now, right, I believe.

Kevin, I couldn't tell you who's on the Red Sox right now. I think he's in camp. I don't know if he made the team. Either way, Colin McHugh. Yeah, I don't know. I don't believe Colin McHugh is on the Red Sox. He called me out and said, fucking, you know, this is what's wrong with the world. And, like, you can't say anything anymore.

I know that. I also understand that it comes across as very cynical and very uh anti you know love and it's not very romantic but it's just like when you're fucking romantic podcast the number one number one romance we literally sold a shirt says that i'm a romantic so then one of my worst shirts but i actually like that shirt it's a very cool shirt didn't sell but it's a cool shirt i knew i knew it wasn't gonna, but it's a cool shirt. But I knew it wasn't going to sell, but it is a cool shirt. Because you know what? They're not romantic.

They are. And so I get where, you know, if you put that out to the mass public in the year 2020, you're going to get a lot of people being like – I mean, this happened when I hinted at it with Patrick Mahomes and his girlfriend. And people were like, well, why can't they just be in love? Yeah, they can be. But there are outside factors of money and age and all that shit that goes into it to make it not a sound decision. And that goes, like, times a billion when you're a sophomore in college. I was going to say, like, Trevor Lawrence can't drink beer yet, and we're just going to let him get married?

First of all, didn't even take a knee, which was bullshit. But if you're going to take a knee, take a knee. Yeah, I mean, he's doing a hover. He's doing a hover. It's crazy. Now, is there a chance that he is, like, on his way down or on his way up, and, like, that's just when the camera caught it at the right time? Or did he literally do, like, a squat lunge and he held it

because he didn't want to get his fucking pants dirty? There's a chance, sure. But, like, that's the photo that the photographer released. It's not, like like someone in the stands who like just have to see it like right that's a professional photographer taking that picture and i know for a fact that like if the best look of her face was when his knee you can photoshop that and change that so that guy put that out you know what by the way 2020 we're abolishing the down on one knee it's bullshit it's bullshit romantic podcast no i'm a guy nope you know

what the most romantic thing is we're equal partnership we're seeing eye to eye i'm not gonna get down and on my knees and beg you oh no no i'm gonna you know what it is you know what it's doing it's establishing precedent it's establishing how this relationship's gonna go i'm down on my fucking knees while you wield the power over me. Well, I mean. That's just one man's take. The reason, like, so it didn't go viral, but, like, it was a popular tweet. And when I quote tweeted it, I said, it's not even a superstar thing, but getting married in college is absolutely idiotic or whatever. Idiotic.

And I got a lot of people who were mad about it. I know. You saw it. You saw it. I was so happy. That's why I said I'm happy you saw it firsthand because sometimes it's like, well, who's really saying it? And you saw how many fucking morons are out there to dispute this. But, like, almost to a person, there were people who would quote tweet it

and they would tell their story and be like, I got married. I've been married six years now. We have two kids and a dog and this and that. And almost all of them are preachers. Yep. And in some bullshit fucking church, too. Church of pastors and saints, blah, blah, blah. Fuck off.

Shut up, you fucking asshole. You brainwashed me, guys. He's worth like $100 million. And he can't get a pre- I think he can't get a pre-nup yet because he doesn't have the money so like it's just a poor financial decision it's not it's a poor life you can be in love and not get married just if you're that much in love just like stay together date live move in whatever four six ten years who gives a fuck get married later you're about to get really fucking rich i i also don't

understand why a prenup isn't just a regular thing um but the like if i married like a really rich woman and i i got used to this lifestyle yeah and then she dumped me because i suck i'd be like man i fucked that one up like that's you know like just get used to a lifestyle doesn't mean you get that money forever yeah but you're a person. There's a lot of people out there who just are entitled assholes who think, well, I signed into this, so I get some of this no matter what. Why would you get something no matter what? It's the way – I mean, I can understand when if you – I think this – I think it all kind of used to come about –

I think we're at a pretty pivotal point in, like, history in the grand scheme of things when it comes to marriage and prenups and shit because I think it used to be like, we're going to get married. You have to stay home and take care of the kids and I will make the money. And then 30 years later, when I decide I want a new younger girlfriend, peace out. You have no resume. You have no skills. You have no way to make your own money because I agreed to stop working for your kids. So that I understand. But if like casey always uses the example her old boyfriend had like oil money from like you know generations in texas and she was like that's not mine i'm never entitled to that really and she she had told them like if we ever get

married like i'll sign you know whatever you want me to sign because i don't deserve that i can understand in certain situations where it's like you we made a decision that is uh leaves me with the inability to make money So you have to like take care of me for that. I get that Being a 20 year old girl I honestly had never considered that I think that's what it like comes from But then people use it to just be like, you know, the Anna Nicole Smith's like I'm gonna marry you for two minutes

You're dead and I get all your fucking actually I if I don't know what happens with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West I wonder if they're they had like Prenups with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. I wonder if they had, like, prenups and shit. Oh, they definitely had prenups. Yeah, you think? I wonder if, like, can you have, like, mutual prenups? Yeah, both. Yeah, okay. If Kim can, like, take some of Kanye's money, that's crazy.

I don't think anybody can touch anybody's money. I think Kanye would be taking some of Kim's money, being honest. You never know with Kanye. It's like he's a billionaire, then he's broke, he's taking out loans, whatever. No, he's very rich. I just think broke. He's taking out loans, whatever. He's very rich. I just think Cam is richer. Big money. Big money.

So anyway, you know, and maybe there may be even a way to say like, I mean Trevor Lawrence is as guaranteed money as it gets aside from injuries. So like maybe he can sign some paperwork. But it's just, I mean, I can't believe we're discussing this because you're 20 and you don't know anything about this girl outside of your college existence. You could graduate tomorrow. Who the fuck knows who's that with a girl in college? I want to marry this girl.

Insanity. This makes me, I don't think I would draft Trevor Lawrence. I don't think I'd draft him. This is like when you do the Wonderlic test and you do all the off-the-field examinations before the draft. This is the number one red flag Wonderlic test and you do all the off-the-field examinations before the draft. This is the number one red flag that he's a bad decision maker. I don't want him leading my fucking organization if he's going to do crazy things like this. You know what this is?

He's just been duped. He's been persuaded by her or the family or his family or some culture. I mean, it's some Southern bullshit. Yeah, that's what I mean. The culture around him. It's like, no, no. It is crazy that that's even I mean. The culture around them. It's like, no, no. It is crazy that that's even a thing in Southern colleges.

Southern state universities literally have people at them who are like, I'm just here for a ring by spring. And that's so nuts. Isn't it so like I think of those places as the biggest party schools in America. That's the place like let's go party and fuck our brains out. And the girls are like well I'm going to do that for six months and then we're going to get married because of it. The fact that ring by spring is a phrase that exists. I remember when I first got this job.

Does that mean like freshman year? No, no, no. Ring by spring of like senior year. But still. And I forget what the acronym is but there was also like I'm a blank major and it was like an acronym for – Getting married.

Getting married. But the fact that that's just like a phrase that I know about. It's such a bad decision. This is what happens. It's crazy. And again, all of these things come from like the past. I get it. At some point back in the day, it probably used to be like it made sense to get married when you were like 22.

Yeah, because you died at 50. Right. Or like you live in your small town you only know like 10 people it's like she's the prettiest one and we get along so like fuck it let's just get married now in the modern world with travel and technology and especially if you're going to become a professional athlete like it's not even about like you're going to want to fuck a million girls which you are though so it's just silly to to it's stupid to just not acknowledge that that there's gonna be a part of you as a man that is gonna want to see more that wants i mean i'm not saying he will he might be faithful it might be the great decision for him for sure as far as like

love goes but like it's also just not like financially it's just not financially you don't have them maybe i'm wrong i don't know how the law works right he's not the money yet maybe you can protect against it maybe but maybe you can't and maybe like you should just wait to see what i just can't stand people who are like 22 and think they've got like the world figured out that that to me is nuts like i think it's silly for me at 35 to think i know what i'm talking about because when i'm 40 i'll think i'm stupid and when i'm 45 i would think 40 year old me is stupid but i know for a fact that when you're in college or just barely out of it or in

his case in the middle of it that you don't know what the fuck you're doing yet so how could you possibly make a decision for life all this kid knows is football that's the only guarantee in his life everything else might change your your your, your desire, who you want to be with, how you want to live your life, how you want to spend your time, what you want to do. You haven't even started your life yet. And you're going to get locked down for life? Just wait. Just continue to date that girl. You can date.

I don't know if people know this. You can date forever. Forever. You don't ever have to get married. Ever complicated. I had an uncle if people know this. You can date forever. Forever. You don't ever have to get married. My. Ever complicated. I had an uncle who. They're married now. But they dated for like 25 years. Sure.

And I bet you they were happy as fuck. And they didn't start when they were like six. It was like you know when they started dating when they were in high school and it was like one of those things they always like dealt with at parties being like when are you guys going to get married? Like we're good man. Yeah. We don't need to. We'll do it. And guess what? When they got married they didn't have a fucking wedding they went and just did it awesome right and i'm sure they are the coolest the most romantic couple in

the goddamn world and i just hate that now like that picture comes out and the whole internet is like oh congratulations and on the inside they're like this is fucking crazy but i'm not like allowed to say that well if the whole world is secretly, this is fucking crazy, but I'm not like allowed to say that. Well, if the whole world is secretly thinking it's fucking crazy, and you've got to know that. He's got to know that, right? He's got to know that it's like, he's got to put that picture out there

and there are going to be people who are like, you're fucking nuts. Yeah, like if you're going back to like the Sigma Chi house at Clemson, and by the way, shout out Sigma Chi at Clemson. I had a lot of good times there. And I'm sure Trevor would too.

That's the fucking point. Well, if you're like, you're going back Like to the house To tell the bros Like hey Like we're married And like What?

Like come on Congratulations Do you want a bush light? All the more Like I just can't imagine being like I know that people think This is a little crazy

But I'm right I'm smart I say this all the time Whenever I have Friends who are like Nah nah Not gonna be me, man. It's going to be different.

Like, yeah, okay. You're the one person in the history of humanity who's going to do it differently. Sure, dude. It's not them. It's you. You're the special one, Trevor. Just go play football. Live your life a little bit.

And then decide if you want to marry this girl. Give me a goddamn break. We'll do our top five. No, wait. My Twitter is blowing up right now because I'm getting a lot of tweets about fucking. I was on a dog walk today. I did it Friday. You did a snake draft?

Yeah. I took Corona Life first overall. Don't care. Love it. You had your first pick. And Trevor Lawrence was available. And you just took some other scrub and you're like, I don't fucking care. You know what I fucking did?

What'd you fucking do? I took fucking, what's his tits? Fuck, I can't remember his name. The defensive end. Who the Texans took instead of Reggie Bush. Oh, I don't know. But yeah, that's what you did. And it was the right pick.

Oh, that's what you're playing here. I think you're more Jim Calhoun. It was like. Fucked up. I took a Mecca hooker for it. Fucked up. Oh, that's what you're playing here. I think you're more Jim Calhoun. It was like – I fucked up. I took a megalogaphone. I fucked up. No, no, no. It was the less popular pick, but it's the right pick.

Who was drafted before Reggie Bush? You're wrong. Society – like, history has already played this out. It's not like Corona's a new hot sleeper pick that's going to, like, blossom. Like, we know what Corona is. By the way, congratulations to everyone who knows this answer right now because there's, like – I'm screaming it. They're also like, you dumb fucks.

Mario Williams. But it was like – Mario Williams is not Corona. It was a crazy pick at a time, and, like, it ended up being the right pick. Mexican beers are delicious. Corona was brand new. I can understand this analogy, but we know what Corona is. Yeah, and it's a delicious beer.

I know what it is, too. It's my favorite number one overall beer. And to be honest, if I could have taken a broader spectrum, I would have just taken Mexican beers. Just Mexican. Anything south of the border. Corona, Tecate, Dos Equis, Modelo, El Presidente, which I believe is a Dominican beer, not a Mexican beer, but whatever. All the same. But, like, it is.

What, do they speak Spanish? It's all the same doesn't matter um but no but now you're in the blender like now I'm in but also like it's the fast and furious beer which it doesn't it doesn't here we come full circle it doesn't now I'm understanding what's going on it doesn't influence my liking it but boy is it something nice to hang on to in an argument and be like, it's what Donald Toretto drinks. Family, bro. We'll do our own draft today with characters of The Office. That's the gif I put with it. As long as it's a Corona.

You can have any brew you want as long as it's a Corona. What a ridiculous clip. We'll be doing our own draft. First, I got to catch you up, Feidelberg, on a saga. Nick's the only person who knows about this at this point. I had a conversation this weekend with a carpenter from Long Island. The Long Island Carpenter Saga is brought to you by PodSites. PodSites is the leading podcast attribution.

Attribution? I can't say this word. Okay. Attribution? Yeah, you can. What did I say? Attribution. I mean.

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PodSites are the people to talk to. So go to PodSites.com to learn more. The next ad for that company is just going to be attribution, attribution, the whole time. That's the only word we're going to say. going to be attribution, attribution the whole time. That's the only word we're going to say. Attribution, attribution, attribution, attribution. Use pod sites for attribution, attribution, attribution, attribution, attribution, attribution. So yesterday, this is, right?

I get a text message. And we're going to put it up on screen here if you're watching on. I have no idea what we're talking about right now. Can we put this on YouTube as well, Nick? Yeah. So if you watch on YouTube, you can see the screenshots. But it starts. There's one before that, Nick.

So yesterday, 3 o'clock, I get this text message. Wrong number, I'm assuming. This is either a wrong number or somebody fucking with me. Either way, it's quite the saga. So I get this text. He says, Derek, this fucking twat left her Calvin's in my car. Come pick this shit up. I'm sick of her bullshit, bro. And then he says, my shit is sending in green bubbles. I dropped my fucking phone in water. So at this point, I'm like, I'm looking at this and I'm like, I don't know what this is.

I'm like, who is this? What? Who is this girl? But I'm also like, let's play along with this. So I say, why should I have to come pick it up? She was already in your car, obviously, if you've got the Calvins. So at this point, I was considering just playing along completely. He says, relax. She's your friend. What the fuck do you mean? And then I love this line.

Don't do this on a Sunday. Don't do this to me on a Sunday. So at this point, the cat's out of the bag. I tell him, you got the wrong number. And he says that his friend sent him this number. And he says, this isn't Derek. I say, nope, not Derek. But tell me a little more about this saga. So he's like, you don't even understand the predicament I'm in. And I'm like, lay it on me. Because at this point, I'm in like podcast mode. You got a girl's underwear in your car. I don't know. Like, let's let's do this

this feels like a barstool like a kfc radio voicemail to me so i was at this dude's friend's house last night we had a kickback at her place who says kickback what does a kickback even mean it means just like a part like a like i always thought of it's like a pregame like a kickback but he's from long island it was a suffolk county number i don't know i've never heard him say kickback i don't know any new yers. I'm going to start stealing that. I kind of like it, right? Well, he says we had a kickback and we were on Hella Molly. So this guy sounds cool to me.

If you have a kickback with Hella Molly, I'm like, okay, let's go. But hella's such a California thing. This guy's all over the map, man. It's all weird. I don't know what's going on. So this is where I'm like, I'm either being pranked or this dude, I don't know, he's using words that don't make sense. He's talking all sorts of wacky shit, but let's keep going with this. So this dude, this chick, and everyone he's partying with around Molly,

she finds his way back to the car, and then she starts tweaking, as he says. She headbutts his shit. I don't even know what that means. His nose, his face, his dick, I don't even know. Headbutted my shit. Then he drops his phone in a puddle and then he's trying to track down this dude derrick he says it's fucked buddy so now i'm in i'm in full-blown like therapist mode and i just want to know like more about like what what's happening here so um

i can't even read that i was gonna say it's green bubbles you just can't read can't read a fucking yeah can you just make it larger nick you know You know what? I'll just read it off my phone. What am I doing? These are text messages from fucking me. Okay, so he tells me it's fucked, buddy. So at this point, I'm like, you are texting a friend to get a phone number of another dude to have him come pick up a pair of another girl's underwear from your car so i said to him like i just don't think this is reasonable i was like just i said i said i said to him let me get this straight you're looking for derrick so that he'll come all the way to your spot to pick up this girl's underwear i'm thinking that's not really reasonable just throw that shit

out and never talk to any of these people again they're all trash trash people. And he says, this is where I love it. He goes, well, honestly, I could care less about the Calvins. I'm just trying to fight Derek. He goes, they're all trash people. You're right. I shouldn't have popped that fucking bean. I don't know what that means. My mind went to clit.

Right. Either way, we're talking vulgar, weird shit. And then I say to him, so you're just trying to lure Derek to your spot under the guise of picking up this underwear so that you can fight him. Right? That's what it sounds like. So that sounds to me like he reached out to a friend and asked for a number. And that friend was like, he's going to beat the shit out of Derek. So I'm just going to give him a random number.

That happens to be me. Popping a bean is taking a molly. Oh, okay. Alright, that makes sense. You shouldn't have taken the molly. You shouldn't have been hanging out with Derek. You shouldn't have fucked that girl in your car. We're such fucking losers, man. We don't know anything. We don't know anything, right? That sucks.

We'll just end it there. So I said, it sounds like you're trying to lure him here, right? And he goes, LMAO, luring sounds like I'm baiting him into a dark alley to blow me. But yeah, that's the idea. I'm trying to fight. This guy is a madman. But then he realizes it.

I'm trying to get him to suck my dick. No, dude, luring is fighting. But then he goes, I'm pretty sure I'm still rolling because my judgment is extremely impaired. And I said yeah it very much feels that way I told him I said I think you need a little more subtlety if you're going to try to fight but yeah it sounds like you're very much still rolling and very impaired and he says how is a fake number giving me more help than actual people I know and then just flat out asked me okay so how would you go about it so I said honestly the best bet here is to forget

about this guy that guy and the girl Come off that molly and avoid these people for the rest of your life I go This is where I start laying it on thick Look around the state of this world man People are dying The classes are warring It's bad out here man

You've got your health and you're safe Forget about the underwear Forget about Derek You don't want to end up getting arrested Because you fought some trash bag guy in a Suffolk County front yard And then he realizes it He goes damn man I'm acting way out of character the world is reeling and it's a shame quarantine quarantine has my mental shot it's been hard honestly I haven't been back to work yet either I'm a union carpenter and the city and these Long Island

fucks aren't worth ruining any shot of a decent livelihood that i have left i appreciate this a lot man what's your name by the way anything i can help you with bud so i just told him i said you're good man and i said if i ever need any carpentry work i'll hit you up but i got this guy stored in my phone as the long island carpenter that is dude i can't i can't decide if it was real or if this is like a Tommy Smokes prank or something like that. To me, it sounds pretty real. It sounds like – at first I was like, why is this guy talking to someone who he doesn't know so much because I'm someone who barely knows people I know. But the model he makes does not make sense. Right.

Okay, yeah, he's still rolling. And he's like immediately thinking about some guy trying to blow him, trying to fight. It's like your emotions are wild right now. And honestly, I was going to like bait him more and like try to like see how funny this could go. And I was just like, I was going to bait him more and try to see how funny this could go. And I was just like, I'm going to give this guy some real advice here. Just shut it down. Just don't make any decisions while you're on your molly. Don't worry about the underwear.

Definitely don't fight this random guy and get some new friends, bro. So we'll see if the Long Island Carpenter stays in my life at all. I might hit him up and just be like, you know what? I'm just going to text him now. Hey, man, thinking about you? Yeah. Hey, man. By the way, I feel like that's a text that, like, everyone in quarantine has gotten very good at.

Just the check-in text. Yeah. But you know what? And now I think everyone's started to realize it, and they're like, thanks for checking in. And I don't want you to think I'm just checking. Like, I am concerned, but you're right. That was a check-in. But I want to like –

I am checking it off the list, but I am also kind of concerned. I also want you to know I do care about you. And I'm learning. It's like I'm learning how to become like an emotional person. I'm not good at it yet, but I'm trying. Well, I just texted the Long Island Carpenter. We'll see if he gets back to me at all. But, yeah, I mean, as if it was a voicemail though,

that's the advice to give, right? There's no, you don't need to fight this fucking guy. You don't need to worry about this girl's underwear and you don't need to track anybody down. Just let it go. Yeah.

You have a bad night partying. Some crazy shit happens when you're on drugs or drunk. You just leave it there. Happened to all of us a million times. Right. That's like, that's why we do the drugs

and drink in the first place. So shit gets crazy. And then the next day you forget about all of it and you don't address it ever again don't go fighting some random fucking trash bags on long island because some girl left her thong in your car okay and if this was some sort of elaborate prank or a on purpose accidental wrong text it ended kind of you know he was just like, thanks, man. Yeah. So I think it was just a genuine. I think it might have fixed that guy's life. I don't know how long that text spanned. How long over was it all pretty quick?

Yeah. You guys were both just sitting there on your phones. It was 315 to 345. Oh, wow. Yeah. It was like a half hour conversation back and forth. And I think I like saved a life or two. I mean, if that guy got in like a brawl while he's still on Molly over this girl, I think

there would be a death. Knowing the Long Island trash of the world. He probably would have drowned Derek in the same puddle he dropped his phone in. That's what I'm saying. I could definitely see a headline now, like Suffolk County man drowns his friend after like ecstasy-fueled like Roe, you know what I mean? So this is like the- Roe, I like that.

Right? That's what they would use as a headline. I feel like this is- That's a British version of a headline And then Yeah Donnybrook I remember the I don't really visit it anymore

But back in the day When we used to do blogs You know a lot of blogs Daily Mail was a big spot Oh yeah And Daily Mail loves calling fights Rows Or rows

I think it's row yeah And then they love calling women's legs pins. You know what's a big one in New York? Victoria Beckham steps out with her beautiful pins. Isn't it? Great pins, isn't it? And the New York Post loves calling commuters strap hangers. Yeah.

The fuck is that? I think John Mulaney has a joke about that, a stand-up, where it's like, according to the New York Post, you're either a strap hanger or a creep. One or the other. And he's probably right. On the subway, there are just two classes. Speaking of blogs, you want to do a little time machine, a little throwback, and read a blog?

Yeah. So, okay. This weekend, I got a random tweet about one of my old headlines. And you know what? I'm going to find that headline real quick. It's always a dangerous game, by the way. Always a dangerous game. Especially right now.

But sometimes when it fucking works out the way it did, it's so goddamn fucking funny. Sometimes I read old blogs and I get to laugh at them as if someone else wrote them because I don't remember writing it. You know what I mean? Right. I was like, damn, this is funny. I was funny back then, man.

I was spitting fire. Wait, where is this thing? This one was particularly, I mean, anything Chris Berman back in the day is going to put asses in the seats. But this was bizarre, right? This was, if you've ever wanted to mutually masturbate with Chris Berman. I mean, what? This is one of those automated tweets. This is from what?

August 2013. That's back when we used to have our tweets just like the titles of the blog with a link, right? Yeah, we just tweeted it itself. Ever want to mutually masturbate with a Chris Berman lookalike? Boy, are you in for a treat. And one retweet, six likes. Popping. Popping.

And so I was like, I want to read this blog so fucking bad. And it's an old blog that the whole thing got wiped out with the DevNest. How did Nick dig this up? I don't know. Nick, don't tell anyone. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Honestly, one of the greatest things that ever happened to us the reason why we are able to be

on the level we're on today is the dev nest yeah we would all be canceled by now i know i would 100 that was like my prime i mean i i never like no i i never said the n word or anything like that. I definitely said things like that. Everything but that. Yeah. Okay, but here's the actual blog. It's so goddamn, like, it's just fucking funny, man. It's Craigslist out of the day. If you ever wanted to get in on some cock play with a Chris Berman lookalike, you're in for a treat. The Craigslist ad is safe, very discreet, married, nice-looking white road warrior from out of town looking for a safe, well-hung fellow, married executive type from mutual jerking off and oral play. No anal stuff or kissing. Just good cock play.

I'm six feet tall, 230, 53. I was like, what does 53 mean? It's his fucking age, you idiot. 53 with a thick six and a half and big balls. Some say I look a bit like Chris Berman of ESPN. Again, looking for a fellow married. Sometimes I like a little chat and share pics about our wives, but not necessary if not into that. I can play tonight after 10 p.m., but prefer Thursday from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. is my jerk-off time?

Wow. Appreciate a self-pix with response. I will check for mail off and on. I will check for mail off and on, but won't be able to spend much time responding until i get to a hotel around 10 p.m hosting at my hotel room msp airport marriott near ikea that's it and then the blog is just uh is it is it possible to get too many replies from Craigslist ads? Can your inbox just break? Is that a thing?

Because this guy has a definition of the goods. Top to bottom, flawless sale. Quote, who wants to come jerk off while staring at Chris Berman? That might be the most misguided Who wants to come jerk off While staring at Chris Berman While he jerks off staring at you I'm fucking sold Only thing I'm leery about

Is the pillow talk chat And sharing pictures of our wives I mean don't make this gay, bro. Let's just do a little mutual masturbation amongst some sweaty bears. Don't bring feelings into it. And then I have P.S. Prefer to play Thursday from 6 a.m. to 1 p.m. I mean, if you're setting your alarm clock to go jerk off with Chris Berman,

it's time for a look in the mirror. I mean, that's a funny-ass blog, man. Don't make this gay, bro. It's hilarious. God. That right there is the perfect blog. That's what it used to be all day long. Ten of those for each of us every day, finding funny, weird shit like that. I'm a thick six and a half with big balls. Who in their right mind could ever think that looking like Chris Berman is a selling point for mutual masturbation?

How could that be? Between heterosexual men. With wives. With wives. I mean, that is. If you're trying to accomplish that goal, telling people you look like Chris Berman is literally the last thing you should do. I don't know, man.

I'd jerk off with Chris Berman. Have you noticed like Chris Berman, is literally the last thing you should do. I don't know, man. I'd jerk off with Chris Berman. Have you noticed, by the way, into mutual masturbation and a little bit of oral play, that's a pretty big leap. Yeah. Like, I'll jerk off in a room next to you. Make sure you can suck my dick. Right. Like, I'll jerk off on the twin bed next to you, but I'm not going to suck your dick,

Chris Berman. I'm a lady, all right? I have standards. We'll come at the same time, but I am not sucking your dick. Christ almighty. Oh, God. I love it. Good old days.

Back in the day, we used to be like, like, there were so many times where just like the PS is the point of the blog. Yeah. And I just got to write a couple paragraphs first and then slide the PS in. The PS. I got it. I do have to give it to credit. I prefer from 6 a.m.

I do have to give it to Portnoy on that one because he was like the king of the PS. And the PS was the most useful tool. Oh, my God. And then you do like a PPS and a PPS. Double PS, the rarely seen triple PS. Oh, the triple PS. That used to get me going. I used to always say, the rarely seen triple PS. Oh, the triple PS. Oh, that used to get me going. I used to always say, the rarely seen triple PS.

That was like when I have a blog and I basically have four takes. Here's my first one. And then I got three other ones that are also pretty good but don't really make sense with the other ones. So I'll just PS, PPS, and PPPS. I wish – if you could right now, if we could make the same money and have the same success and all that shit and it was just blogging, would you go back to that? Or would you like to keep it video and podcast and now radio and shit like that? I don't think I have it anymore. Oh, I definitely don't have it anymore.

I mean, I could write a blog, but I don't have the quantity. The level of quality that we used to churn out and the number of blogs is remarkable. What people don't understand too is that it's a really hard job again it's not a hard job no it's not mining for coal or fucking no but it's a difficult uh if you have other stuff to do during the day if you can't if you can't wake up and go i'm like i did like seven blogs i think last friday because i knew i had nothing to do i can wake up and be in the zone today and And it's, you have to wake up and go, I'm in the zone. You get plugged in like Zuckerberg when they're

coding. Right, right, right. That's it. You just have to know, all I can do is look for stories and write stories. That's all I can do today. And it is, like, even the people who work here now who are largely bloggers, I think, I don't think any of them really get it where it was like,

it's all you did. It's all you did. It was all you did. You're in the zone. You're in the matrix. The ball is like a beach ball, and you're just like – I mean, I really – I've always said this, and I think I mean it even more now. I think that there's a blogging prime, and I think that it's when you don't have responsibilities and you can do what you just described like just do it all day but what i'm also learning now is like as you get older and you get a little less like arrogant and narcissistic you get some more world views you go through some bad shit so now you have like more empathy and

all that shit does not play for blog you need to be like a 25 year old dude who thinks he knows everything and acts like it when he writes it and that's what's funny and once you're like oh fuck like i you know i went through this tragedy or like hey the world is a pretty fucked up place we should learn from nope and you'll never be able to recapture that like i can't write some of the ignorant funny shit i used to write because i'm like oh i disagree with that i'm not ignorant anymore right and it's like fuck that's definitely uh it is like like the stereotype of like being in your mom's basement fuck that's definitely uh it is like like the stereotype of like being in your mom's basement like that's a pretty good spot to be yeah it might like not literally be your mom's basement but it's some sort of like dark cave of idiocy that you're in

that makes stuff funny and shit and that's why like i think as a stand-up comic you can you can go into your like 50s because you're writing material. But blogging is like, at least the way I view blogging, is like you're just speaking your mind and your thoughts. So there's only a small window where your thoughts will be entertaining and funny because once you get a little more intelligent and class and all that shit, it's just not funny anymore. It is. And honestly, it was one of the first things Dave told me

where he was like, I'm definitely aging out of this as far as blogging goes. Right. And he was like, I need another guy to help run Boston. I was like, word. I'm in. And I think I was probably 21 at the time, 22, whatever I was. That's just before Dave decided to be permanently 21. Yeah.

But he still doesn't blog. Right. Because blogging is – It's an absolute grind. You have to know – you have to be up on all things pop culture. You have to know all the music. You have to know all the TV. You have to know how to make all the references, you know?

And you have to do it as if you're the smartest person in the world and the funniest person in the world and that everyone who disagrees with you is an idiot. And once you kind of like lose that edge and that mentality, like you can't get it back. You don't want to fight with everyone. Right. I mean, we used to fucking... I remember when I got in, like, a fucking fight. Like, a big Twitter fight. Which is like a model.

Yeah, it's like, what am I doing? Like, like, like... I'm just tired now. And it's not even... I quote tweeted her, because she... And you know what? To be fair, I'd fight with this girl right now.

Yeah. Another thing about it, I can't... I don't know how to find the tweet, but it was like she. It was when people called. I think it was like their avatars, their icons, their profile pictures, DPs. Okay. I don't remember that.

And it was like, I forget. Default picture, maybe. Default. Exactly. Default picture. And I think she was British. And I just quote to it being like, I mean, girl, you can't be saying DP. You just can't do it.

And she's like, you are a pervert. I was like, fuck you. You don't know how to speak. We got in a fight. She replied, and then people got like – And then Dave got mad because she was like, I can't – You're such a king, and you have all your fans coming after me. And Dave's like, I'm the king.

And we came to this massive fight. I sick people on you! I am still down for a Twitter, when I fought Serbia, or I get into the mix big time. But it's the day-to-day things that I used to be like, I can't put my phone down or my computer down. I have to wage war. I cannot have her dishonor me like this. I will fight her for 24 hours straight. And now it's just like I got shit to do or I just don't care as much.

I wish I could recapture all that. But there is – I do believe a blogging prime and especially, I mean, for our prime years to coincide like, it was still the Wild West and you could say whatever you want. If you're like a brazen 22, 23-year-old guy now who wants to just, like, let it rip, you can't. You can't. You're fucked. And maybe that's right. Maybe it's wrong. I definitely said, I mean, you're writing 10 blogs a day.

You're fucking saying this. You've got to say some shit. I wish I didn't say that. And there are a million jokes I've made that I wish I didn't make. I don't know whatever magic this dude fucking cooked up to get this DevNest,

but we got to go through personally for us. Yeah, these gems. The world's never seen that shit. We really started regularly. We might have to kill Nick.

Yeah, there's someone like one of these people who wants to write hit pieces is going to come like kidnap this guy and torture him until they tell him

how to do it. We just have to kill him. Did you find it? No, it's a response to somebody else who was retweeting that girl, but it seems like maybe she blocked you, so I can't get any of the... Oh, shocking. The good old days.

What's her name? Caitlin Model? Caitlin Underscore Model. It's like a dead... Yeah, I think she was like a British model. You can't say DP. You can't British model. You can't say DP. You can't say facial. You can't say these things.

I got my new DP coming out, and I was like, I'm thinking about a dick in your ass and a dick in your vagina. Yeah, you can't say DP. You can't say facial. You can't say anal. I'm so anal. I'm so anal about my DP. I think I have a tweet about that.

I think that was one of my first kind of popular tweets. It was very basic. It was just, people who say anal in daily conversation are fucking bullshit. How about, I'm so anal that I got a facial so my DP would look great. Can't say it. Can't fucking do it. Let's do our top fives. It's the office episode today of KPC Radio.

We got a couple interviews with Creed and Brian Bumgarner coming up. So today we decided, easy peasy, straightforward, top five characters of The Office. Top five. Now, I said this to start the episode. Maybe I said this off air, but Brian Bumgarner's interview is so good. Am I saying that? It's like Bumgarner, Gardner, Bumgarner? It's definitely, I say Bumgarner,

but it's definitely not right how I'm saying it. Kevin Malone. Yeah. His interview is so good. It's like clouding my, like I want to like

take Kevin Malone. I mean, it's like, he's a funny character. He wasn't like the top pick, but the man who played him is so fucking awesome, apparently.

I'm conflicted. I do believe you are a first pick. I was going to – honestly, I think I've picked first every single time. Oh, okay. I'm going to give it to you. I don't remember who turned it is, but I feel like I've picked first a lot. So it's your turn. Are we taking Michael off the board?

I was just going to say – No, Michael's on the board. No, I mean he's on the board, but I think that's going to have to be my pick. Yeah, yeah. I mean he is the goods. He on the board. No, I mean, he's on the board, but I think that's going to have to be my pick. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he is the goods. He is the one. He did the almost impossible and, like, eclipsed Ricky Gervais as the guy. I feel like it's almost impossible to beat the original.

There's a reason why, although we dispute this and we talk about it on the interview today, but there's a reason why there was a – some people view it as a big drop-off. Other people just view it as a change. But there's a before and after, and it's the Michael Scott years versus the non-Michael Scott years. He is the one. And it's so funny going back and looking at, like, the pre-hair transplant, Steve Carell, the pre-Big Money movies, Steve Carell.

By the way, I started The Office again immediately after that interview. Yeah, yeah. I mean, now I want to go back and rewatch everything with his notes in mind. But we didn't really get into it in the interview, but was it just that Steve Carell was like, I'm going to go do blockbusters and I'm done with this? Because as much as it seems like... I think that was mostly it, but...

Right. It seems like it was peaceful, but it couldn't have been. Like, I would love to get... And maybe they address this on the... I wouldn't say it was that peaceful. Remember when he does the... When Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes?

Yeah. And he announces him as being the guy who just destroyed my net worth or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just cost me $100 million or whatever. And I think that's Ricky Gervais handling it publicly. If you're handling it publicly on a stage. Wait, how did Michael Scott affect Ricky Gervais?

I'm talking about when he left the office. Yeah, me too. That fucked Ricky Gervais? Yeah, he's still a creative. I mean, it's still his show. So just by the ratings going down and stuff like that? Yeah, and not having my. I mean like he's still the producer of the show right it's like not having my star anymore and it was like right i forget exactly what he said but it

was something along the line it was definitely like fuck this guy right he's fucking me big time yeah and and and if you're like um uh john krasinski at that point or rain wilson it's like you're super grateful and like you and you're all family and friends and all that shit it sounds like. But you're probably like, well, I mean, good for you that you're going to go do 40-Year-Old Virgin, but we have a good thing going here. Can you wait a couple more years, but you also understand it?

I would just love to know the inside of that because if you ever were to take off and go do something else i'd be like like go do it man but also fuck this sucks you know so uh but yeah michael scott number one overall pick all right that's a fair pick um fair uh i guess what obviously we did no prep for this this top five uh number one for me, Daryl. Wow. Whoa. That was a deep cut right there.

Every time Daryl's on screen, I laugh out loud. Yeah. He's like his slugging percentage is through the roof. Right. That's what it is. It's really exceptionally high. Not many played appearances, but he's going yard every time. There are more popular opinions, no doubt. His slugging percentage is through the roof. Right. That's what it is. It's really exceptionally high. Not many played appearances, but he's going yard every time.

There are more popular opinions, no doubt. I was going to say Dwight. Yeah. I was going to say... Well, save it because they're going to be your next pick. Well, true. But my next pick was going to be Dwight. Right. I mean, he is...

There's other characters that are funny, but they are normal people for the most part. A couple more bit characters we'll get into, I'm sure, with this draft. But Dwight is one of a kind. Dwight has so many unique quotes, so many unique things. The Beat Farm, the Battlestar Galactica quote, the Jackhammer shit, the Rishun. He's just so absurd that I don't think there's another... I can't think of another person, character

like him. He's that ridiculous. He's that unique. And then I got the Michael and Dwight duo, which is just fucking incredible. I think I decided I'm just going to be an asshole in this draft and people are going to get real mad at me. And I'm just going to pick shitty... Not shitty people, but I'm going to pick people who are like, what? You're going to pick Roy next or something? Jan.

Jan. I mean, Jan's funny as fuck. The idea of Jan is so fucking funny. The ice queen. Oh my God, Jan. People are going to get mad. Yeah. Well, now I feel like I'm just going chalk over here now.

I mean, I think just with a side-by-side comparison to get people mad on social media, you go with chalk and me go with this ridiculous people. To keep up with this new theme, Jim Halpert. He's such a funny guy. He's the cool guy that everybody wanted to be. And he makes the funny jokes And he like Jim was great

The way I think that The way that Jim Interacts with them I wish he was my first Proceed Hank I wish I took Hank number one

Fuck Dude when Hank Is doing The fucking I wish I took Hank number one. Fuck. Dude, when Hank is doing the fucking, he's testing to see if they need a new photocopier or new chairs. What should they get? And he's going back and forth and back and forth. And Michael is like, get out. That's such a funny fucking scene. When they have to call Hank to come let him out. Oh, that's the best.

He's like, I'd be getting ready faster if you stopped calling me. Hank's unbelievable. Okay. I'm going to go with Creed. Creed's a great one. Creed is – he's another character where I would put in there like he's one of a kind, like the stories he tells and like the weird shit he says. He's got a Daryl-like slogan.

Yes, yes. Where he's – I mean, when – I think, for my money, the funniest just like, it's not subtle because it's very clear what they're doing. But just like when the printer ink is gone and then he walks by with jet black hair. That's so fucking funny. When he eats the onion instead of the apple and they just replace it. And then Creed Thoughts has been a joke that I've used on the blog hundreds of times. It's like, we need to just set him up with a Creed Thoughts and let him da-da-da-da.

Like, that to me – and you'll hear the interview today. It's with Creed Bratton. That's his real name. He's not playing himself, but he's kind of playing himself. Or he's just got, like, wacky stories from his time, like, playing music in the 60s and shit. So, Creed Bratton, my favorite, I think when I did the tournament of secondary characters for March Madness a couple years ago, I think

Creed was like Elite 8 at least. He was very popular. Honestly, I love this character so I'm going to take him, but I almost feel like he's too popular for my list. It's David Wallace. Okay. He's borderline

too popular for my list, but he's like David Wallace. Okay. Yeah. No, but he's borderline too popular for my list, but he's like – I mean, David Wallace is unbelievable. Getting to know him, Andy Buckley, has been one of the coolest, like, Barstool perks in my mind. Like, it's just wild. He texted me the other day about something stupid. I don't even know what. It is, too. Dude, when he came to the office – I mean, it was a crazy day.

But he came to the office just in the suck it sweatshirt yes and just like played golf in the radio studio david wallace andy buckley texted me happy fourth of july he said happy fourth from david fucking wallace baby and i wrote back suck it and he said you know it like my favorite thing ever that like what a legend like like we in our interview with uh with brian who plays kevin malone he talks about how barstool how the office became so popular that he's a part of these things in pop culture that like blow his mind and the people he's gotten to meet and the things he's gotten to do this is my version of that yeah the fact that that andy buckley dav David Wallace, texts me fucking happy 4th of July from David fucking Wallace is like,

I can't believe this is my life. Absolute ledge piece. Great pick. That's unbelievable. So this is my final pick then? Yeah. I will go Kevin Malone. That learning how much he's acting from this interview,

thinking about the episode where they all thought he had cancer when What when they when what's her face mistook him for being mentally disabled. The chili spill. The the now that I'm picturing it like he changes his face. Yeah. Oh, like he makes his face like drooping. Yeah. I know. His eyes are like almost half closed.

And the way he moves, it's and, you know, just like the child. It is incredible, and you'll love the interview today. But that – Michael, Dwight, Jim, Creed, Kevin. Yeah, that's a good list. Not as good as my number five, which is Vikram. It's so funny that you are like the office guy and you just like made a mockery of your draft. These are all hilarious characters. I'm not being like intent. I'm kind of intentionally being a dick, but also like they're great characters.

It shows how good the office is. You can just like fuck around and throw a dart and still pick these people. When Vikra finds out that Nana means grandmother, when he's like, what kind of name is Nana anyway? It's his grandmother. He's like, oh, Michael. All right. There you have it. Let us know who won the top five.

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fights whoever's uh producing listening to fights talk about how um he wrote that love letter to bar at the beginning of quarantine and it's still going on. I'm 26 years old and this is probably the worst scenario anyone could ever imagine for their 20s. I mean, this shit's dragging on

this long. My 20s are just fucking being flushed down the floor. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Is he talking about coronavirus yeah yeah it's been a couple months dude yeah yeah you're 20 i mean i get what he's saying i don't get what he's saying it's been four months someone who perhaps occasionally dabbles in hyperbole i get in over and gets like why do i have to live through this period of time at all? It gets exceptionally dramatic. Again, me.

I see the sentence. But in reality, it's been a few months. Your 20s aren't getting flushed down the drain. How about a reality check for you? You're not literally flushing your 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s down the drain by dying from this. It's pretty good to be 20-something during COVID. Trust me, bro. That's true.

Just a reality check. That's why you can't be a blogger anymore. That blog stinks. You should count your blessings. That blog fucking sucks, dude. But it really has only been a couple months. months and i would say that i i think if you i think at that age you should always look at everything as like an opportunity like i think that quarantine was an interesting time to like if you're on dating apps and you're sexting and you're like oh i said that to rudy today because

rudy was talking about like having a girl over yeah i was like i feel like you had a lot of girls that's what i'm saying. It's like taboo and forbidden. It's like, yo, come over and let's get our fuck on. And now it becomes like a cool thing or like a forbidden thing, a secret thing, whatever. If you weren't trying to make the best of this when you're in your mid-twenties

or you're single or whatever. Yeah, if you weren't completely dismissing every piece of advice you got. Kinda. Yeah. Kinda. You weren't using a girl's vagina as a face mask. You're a fucking idiot. Okay, could you be? You're not even fucking girls during a pandemic. I had a thought the other day,

and I think this is my defense mechanism for my entire life, because I have gone through so much weird shit recently that I would prefer to have not happened. But I tell myself, like, I've seen it all now. I've seen the good that life has to offer. I've seen some of the bad. I've seen some of the crazy. And so part of me is, like, priding myself on that.

So I'm like, you know, I've gone through some shit that, like, other people wouldn't have. And I think that that makes my life more interesting. Not necessarily good or better because you'd rather just have, like happy all the time right but i can say man i went through the fire and that's like cool and i was thinking trying to think of that as like like would you prefer you probably would prefer to have not lived during the time of coronavirus right uh but like yeah but isn't it also interesting That like you lived through A worldwide change That's what I said

I don't know if I ever said it on the show But when I first came back to New York I was like Oh that's when you like Realized the world had changed Right Yeah It was like

I've been like living in my parents house In the suburbs Right Very separated from things And if you If you're like family Got wiped out or something No you're not playing this game at all

You just wish you were never Involved in this Right I get that But if you're lucky enough To wiped out or something, no, you're not playing this game at all. You just wish you were never involved in this. I get that. But if you're lucky enough to have not been really directly affected, there's something unique and interesting about like I witnessed the world change on a fucking dime. I witnessed what should have taken 10 or 15 years of digital change happen in like six weeks. You know what I mean? And it's pretty interesting. It's like, you know, a lot of obviously with race relations, if you will.

I say that in the interview with Kevin, too. So it's really weird. I just said it now. But just like, you know, with the Black Lives Matter protests and like you saw. You've seen. And that like when people say like protests do nothing, like, that obviously did a lot. Yeah. No, definitely.

I used to think that, and I'm, like, fully on board with protests working. Like, they were, like, I think, I forget what, like, was it Minneapolis? Like, one week of protests, and they're like, all right, fuck it, you're right, we're defunding the police. Yeah. Well, I mean. That's a big fucking step. For real. For real.

And that is, again, you know, you wish you lived through like a peaceful, prosperous time. And for the most part, we did, by the way. But now, you know, you see like a 9-11 happen. You see something like this happen. And it's like you've seen, you know, the ups and downs that life can have to offer. I guess you could say that about like I actually argued this because Large on Twisted History said something. They put out – this was like a month ago they said like if you were born in 1900 you were like you caught like the tail end of the industrial

revolution you were like a teenager through world war one you lived through i think the spanish flu or whatever plague hit then it was 1918 the great depression and then like world war ii i mean you saw like it all. And I said to him, you should do something trying to figure out the greatest or worst or whatever lifespan. Because I think we've seen some crazy shit with what we just went through. Technological revolution. Technological revolution in a good way. 9-11 and COVID in a bad way.

But you probably – I mean like if you live through like the 60s 70s and 80s you didn't see shit you really didn't vietnam was a big deal yeah we also by the way like the whole we've also been in a war the entire time whole time well not a war but a conflict yeah i mean there's you know you know we haven't been in a war since World War II? Technically, we have not been in a war. Yeah, I mean, that's such bullshit. That's just like PR. I know, but it's like one of my favorite things.

What do they call Vietnam? Just a... I think it's all a conflict. Yeah, Korea... It's just because Congress has to announce... Going to war. Not announce, but vote for it. What, Desert Storm wasn't a war?

Mm-mm. Huh. Wanted something new every day. I wonder. I mean, I'm sure everyone who's lived through their lifespan could make that argument, but there's got to be a more definitive answer than not, and I think what's going on right now, our generation could make a big case for it. Again, this is why you shouldn't blog, because this guy just wanted to talk about, like,

fucking during the pandemic. So just go fuck some girls, man. Just bang a bunch of chicks. Like cram three months of fucking into like the next month, and then you're made up for it. Done. Next up. What's up, KFC, Feidelberg, Super Producer BC.

So there's this guy that I work with. He's a bit older, and I heard through the grapevine from some other coworkers that when he had initially moved to where we're at now, he came from a different town, and he moved because he had a bad breakup with a girl. And the thing is, he got a dog right when he moved and named it after his ex. And it's not even got a dog right when he moved and named it after his ex. And it's not even like a dog name. It's like his dog is dead.

It's named Sarah. And he's like super protective over it. The dog's kind of fat. You call it fat, he'll freak out. So just really a pretty crazy move by this guy. So I'm just wondering What the most ridiculous thing That you've seen someone do Post breakup is

I think we can start with Moving by the way He moved out of town? Yeah I mean first of all He moved and bought a dog And named it after the girlfriend? I mean that's

Nothing That guy That's pre-crime Lock that guy in a cage right now. Lock him up. There's nothing even remotely convoluted in my life. I had one. When that woman, the human Sarah, ends up dead,

like, I wish we didn't even hear this, because now I feel like it's blood on my hands, because that guy's going to murder that girl. You leave town, name a dog after her, and then, I mean, that's fucking wacky. But, I mean, he's super protective of the dog. If he abused the dog, then we'd be in a real predicament. Yeah, well, dog. If he abused the dog then we'd be in a real

real predicament. Well okay. If he abused the dog we'd be calling the police this very soon. When that girl ends up like locked in the basement. Maybe he doesn't kill her.

He'll be caring for her. Oh so it's okay. Don't call her fat. I think I mean maybe back in the day we always used to say breaking ups were great back in the day

because you could just move towns. Oh god what a dream. But now there's no point in moving she's still got you yeah if she's like first of all sounds like he's the crazy one but if you're gonna have a crazy ex who like stalks you and and all that shit like doesn't matter where you live you can move to the fucking moon i'll find you um exactly the i had one time a friend show up She had brown hair Or black hair I don't really know the difference

To be honest You don't know the difference Between brown and black? I know the difference But like With girls it's very similar I feel like With guys I can tell the difference pretty easily

Girls I'm always I hear you I think I say that all girls have brown hair Unless it's like jet black Unless it's like really black She had Okay she had brown hair then It wasn't jet black But she had brown hair unless it's like jet black right it's a really black she had okay she had brown hair then it wasn't jet black but she had brown hair and then she she got she had a

breakup and then she just like showed up one day just red hair and we were like that's the number one sign that a girl's gone crazy when they drastically changed their hair look i mean you know we had to talk about this right now you turn into a thing i i get that you're a little sad and but like you understand that i have to make fun of you now right again i blog brain right you were you were probably like a 25 year old asshole right that's a little younger even better yeah it's like oh i'm not gonna be sympathetic to your feelings here you did something idiotic i not going to be sympathetic to your feelings here. You did something idiotic. I was going to be sympathetic to your feelings.

But then you did something drastically stupid. And now you did that. And you understand what I had. How fucking. You know what you forced upon me. I don't want to do this. I have to hit you now. I feel like the ultimate irony, or I don't even know what the right word is,

but when girls go through something and they inevitably drastically change their hair and it always makes it worse. They never like it. And it's like the one thing they shouldn't do and they all do it. They change something else. Yeah, buy some new clothes, change your look. Do your makeup differently.

Don't permanently change your hair. You're going to hate it. You're going to be a cliche. Don't ever change your hair You're going to hate it You're going to be a cliche Don't ever do it But this guy I mean I don't think I've ever done anything weird after a breakup I don't think I have either Because I know doing something drastic

Means you're forcing other people to make fun of you Right And I'm like I'm just not going to be drastic I don't want to put you guys in a bad position So I'm just going to internalize all this I don't want to put you guys in a bad position, so I'm just going to internalize all this. Yeah, I'll silently be invisible Melt down on the inside, yes.

For about 15 years or so, and then... You know what? I bet if you just shaved your head after a breakup, you're fine. It's like you can either smush this down into your fucking body

and never address it, or just cut your hair and be done with it. That was actually, I was on Sophie Julia's podcast, Home Team. It was probably a few weeks ago now. And one of the questions, she had like 10 questions in.

This is so great. I remember you telling me this. And she was like, what do guys do to get over breakups? And I was like, we don't get over breakups. Don't do anything. In our entire lives. We just. We just suffer.

Like, we can achieve just like a little less happiness. Yeah. Like. Your ceiling goes down. Like a health meter. Like, I am only available for 84% happiness now. Right. At my peak. Yeah. Like, like, like, your ceiling goes down. Like a health meter. Like, I am only available for 84% happiness now. Right.

At my peak. Right. That's it. That girl took away, you know, 12% and that's, that's just that. And like,

they're probably, that's probably because due to the way we handle it, we probably should be smarter about it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But it's just a fact that like, we don't do something to get over breakups. I'm so sick of guys being fucking shamed for like internalizing things and not dealing with it girls and their goddamn dealing with their emotions drives me crazy and they yell and they're they want you to process it it's like no my way of processing is not processing it respect my ways they're all and they all use these like buzzwords and they're all they all become fucking like therapists. Just shut the fuck up. Leave me alone. Let me be sad. Yeah, let me just be sad. You go cut your hair. You let me be sad.

We'll leave each other alone. Let's do one more voicemail and then we'll get into our interviews. What up, KFC, Fight, Super Producer BC and Nick. I just wanted to get your guys' opinion on the cashless society that everyone's talking about. For me, I think it's an awful, awful idea for a few reasons.

Until about two weeks ago, every job in my whole life I've gotten paid under the table cash. It's how I got through college. It's how I got through college. It's how I got through everything. I've only made cash. That's out the door if we go cashless society. Something else that's out the door is no giving, like, birthday presents, no throwing $20 in your nephew's birthday card anymore. And not to get too conspiracy theory, but with the cashless society,

they will be able to see everything we do. They will have every single purchase we've made. There will be no nice deals where you're like, if you're paying cash, we'll take $300 off you. I can see your face. I'm somewhere in the middle on this guy, though. I am as well. But, I mean, like, he's talking about this thing like it's, like, is this something you guys find on Conspiracy Theory Reddit or something? Like, I've never heard of cashless society.

I just think it's the way we're trending, and I think that— It's definitive, but he's like, that everyone's talking about. I've never heard that phrase put together. There's been talk of like putting chips in people. Corona has kind of brought out, like we said about like technology advancing very quickly during this time. I feel like there's talk of – China already has that where like your phone is like your entire life. Like you can – and they watch like everything you spend, everything you do, and there really is no way to – I saw a great tweet, by the way, that was – I was like, what the fuck is the point of having a conspiracy theorist if none of you guys care about people getting kidnapped by the police and put in the undercarriage?

Yeah, right. It's like, why do we have you guys if no one's making a big deal of this? Right. Yo, Tim Dillon had an unbelievable – on his last episode, he was just like – it was kind of cocky. He was talking about like QAnon, and he was like, talk to me when you've been doing this for two years, for four years, for ten years. I've been doing this shit for 20 years. I was listening to Alex Jones during 9-11, and then I went on his show last year. I've been doing conspiracy theories and like fighting the institution and the government for 20 years.

There's no end. This doesn't – there's no resolution. He goes, there's no series finale here. You thought 9-11 was an inside job and then that one just like fizzles out. And now coronavirus is an inside job and that just fizzles out. You fucking people. And he did it from such a place of like, this is what I do. You're like new to this shit.

But it's true. It's like if you're going to – everything is a conspiracy theory, but you're not – you don't ever do anything with it. You don't stop any of – like you said, the fucking unmarked people just throwing you in a minivan. You're just here to complain and talk and you're having fun with this. But I think – I was thinking about – I read an article I never thought of. I didn't read an article. I read a headline, and I should read the article because I don't quite understand it yet. That means you read the article.

It was how the end of cars and self-driving cars is like the end of freedom, and they can track everywhere you go and everything you do. And I was kind of thinking like if i if you knew who is they the government they can track everything you do already your phone's in your pocket yeah but like if i can't just like hop in a car and drive somewhere if i have to have like a system that will allow me to do that that could be a problem you know like if you if you wanted to just jump in the car in the middle of the night and like go do some shady shit can you do that with self-driving cars i would guess so. I don't know.

I feel like you have to have, like, the roads go to a certain place and at a certain time you have to have a car be able to pick you up and all that kind of shit. Yeah. I mean, you're probably right. But also, like, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know. And I think that's the thing. The same thing with cashless.

Like, the cashless society is, like, you know, if you do want to get paid under the table or you do want to do some – I think it's Venmo you can lie about. Yeah, and I'm sure there will be ways around it in the modern world, and that's kind of the point. I was honest. I do agree. I don't – again, I haven't even heard of this cashless society, but I do believe that cash is okay to have. Yeah. I don't ever have it, but it is like –

It does just give them a little more power. It's like think about it. You can have a cash business, and you can skirt your taxes, and now that will just be done. And that's not the end of the world, but it's just one way that people used to be able to get one over on the government that now they can't do that anymore. Yeah, which I also think is fair for the government. Yeah, but it's like – You don't get to beat us. But I think they can't do that anymore. Yeah. Which I also think is fair for the government. Yeah. But it's like, you don't get to beat us. But I think also some people are like,

we do be like, you beat us in every other way. And we used to have at least like one or two ways to kind of like win, like get a win here. And now we can't even do that. Yeah. Cause the government's, you know,

they are motherfuckers. They don't really care about you. They're just kind of like, of course, right. This is a way to just like stick it back to them with like, I can drive where I want to drive. I can spend what I want to spend.

And now it's like, nope, not anymore. But I don't give a fuck about putting a 20 in my nephew's. Oh, that's a crazy example. Dude, bring up buying drugs. Yeah. How did you not bring that up? I think buying drugs, hookers, any shady expenses, I do really think that the death of the little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant

that's cash-only. Oh, which is just owned by the mob. Yeah. Those are the best Italian restaurants in Boston. They're like, we don't take card. Yes. This is inconvenient, but it's awesome. At least I know you're the right deal.

And the bars that do that, those are always the best bars. And those places having to become corporate, you'll just lose a little luster. So I don't think it's the end of the world, but I do think that there are some things. I don't think this is – again, I've never even heard this phrase. Is this something that's happening or is it just how the world is happening? I think so, yeah. I think it's always like obviously the world is trending that way way and i think things are just being expedited a little bit but i don't think there's any like imminent you know 2020 whoever wins the presidency is gonna like enact right

no more cash but i do think that like china has all their power because of like the way they track their people and their phones and if like we were to just go that direction you just become like a like a military state you know what i mean it's it's it's gonna happen don't fucking fight it just deal with it yeah like everything yeah you literally you can't stop the government just deal with it like the people who want to like start their own governments you can't can't who are these capital hill autonomous zone like we're we're stopping society there's no cops here and we run the show no you don't who did this i don't know people in seattle and portland like the where they're kidnapping

people and throwing them in vans yeah they're like trying to start their own society and run their own show it's you can't do that you can't i mean you don't have for a little while it's like occupy wall street right they occupy wall street had their own society for they had their own like hooverville yeah they don't have they can't run a society, you know? It's like, okay, you guys win. There's no police. The government's gone. The mayor – they're all gone.

Mike, check. That was the best. God, I hated those assholes. That's what poisoned me to protesting. And I kind of alluded to it in one of my long-ass lame blogs that I wrote recently. But I remember lumping in Ferguson and some of the other protests

with Occupy Wall Street dickheads. Like Eric Garner. But also the Occupy Wall Street people were right. They're right. I don't agree with that. I think that you can say that yeah, maybe unimaginable wealth is not a good thing. But I think of you can say that, like, yeah, maybe, you know, like unimaginable wealth is not a good thing. But I think of it as like I don't think capitalism is a bad thing.

I know some people do. I don't think capitalism is a bad thing. I just think like, I don't know. I think Jeff Bezos doesn't need a trillion dollars. Right. Like that's where I think, again, normal people can admit like nobody needs this much money, especially when there's poor people. But I also think that Occupy Wall Street took it to a level of like. Well, that's what everything is, though.

Yes. They have to be extreme. In order to get someone to be in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. But I do think that they believe that. So I get it. But I'm like, check those dirty hippies.

Anyway, casual state. We're all fucked. I mean, we're all fucked. Yeah. You're right. You're right. Just drink do drugs

and fuck people until you're dead or the government kills you. You can't stop it. If the government wants to kill you right now guess what? You're fucking dead.

You're dead. I mean the judges in the Gillian Maxwell case are fucking learning that. If you want to if you are going to get erased you're going to get erased. So stop worrying about cash

and phones and cars and just fucking live your pathetic life until you're fucking to get erased. So stop worrying about cash and phones and cars and just fucking live your pathetic life until you're fucking dead. Whether it's because of them or coronavirus or natural causes, you can't stop any of it anyway. Stop fucking complaining. Cut your hair.

Dye your hair red. Dye it red, baby. Alright, interview time. We'll start out with Kevin Malone, Brian Bumgarner, because we've been talking about how awesome it is. And as much as we've hyped this up, I think it's still going to be underrated. It's brought to you by Shady Rays. High-quality shades for far less money than the expensive brands.

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who told us that we were going to be surprised by your voice. That if we hadn't heard your voice outside of Kevin, that we, I don't know why that's like, of course, you don't really talk like that. That would be so fucking weird if you talked to Kevin Malone. Yeah, that makes sense. But it still is kind of funny to hear your real voice. Is it weird? Is it weird for you? Yeah, well, I mean, it's not like when he said that i i pictured that

you had a voice that was like tired yeah yeah so it's not that big of a difference but it is funny to think that the whole time you're on the show you're just doing like the dumb guy voice yeah i think i mean i i mean a couple of things i think that um it's more the the speed with which I talk. I had a little bit that I would do going into meetings, right? Like going into ABC and the executive, we're going to sell this new show. And we would go in and we would sit down and we would be at the conference table and they'd be around the other side. And I would start talking about the show and this is what it's going to be and how we're going to approach it. And you would just see the eye glaze, right? You would just see just there. No one is listening to what I'm saying. And so I would literally,

I would build this into a pitch where about a minute in, I'd be like, all right guys. So you've been expect, you've not been expecting me to sound the way that I have. So you've heard nothing that I have said so far but I'm now gonna rewind I'm gonna go back let's go and everyone would like laugh and then we would go back and we would have a conversation but yes that um and people approaching me on the street or whatever that the expectation um versus reality is well it kind of changes my whole opinion of of uh you as an actor almost. Like, that makes that role considerably harder in my mind,

that you had to sit there and talk so deliberately slow. Again, I can't believe I thought it was real, because, like, who would talk that way? But, I mean, it must have been a grind to just sit there and, you know, doofus it up all the time. Yeah, well, you know, I think part of what was special about you know the the collection of actors that had on the show i mean i think one of the things that made it super unique was the variety of experience that the actors came from right so like rain wilson and my i'm not

going to mention everybody but just to give you an idea, like Rainn Wilson and myself, we were from straight theater. Right. And then there was like Steve Carell and Kate Flannery and Oscar Nunez and Angela. They were like improv guys. And then like Craig Robinson, maybe the funniest standup that I've ever seen in my life. And BJ Novak, amazing standup guy. So we had all these different experiences. And so, yeah, like for me and for rain who played Dwight, like creating a character, that's what we did. So for us, it only made sense to like, okay, well, what if we bring in a little bit of this or, you know, like I always say, like my jaw was, my jaw was different. My jaw, my jaw was different.

My body was different, not as sexy was different my body was different not as sexy but i mean like but like i but i always approached it like kevin is just a guy that if he turns right his entire body is going to turn to the side he doesn't have any any flexibility like that's a great way to describe it yeah and so and also just like that my feet were like were were like roots into the ground there's no like swaying or like you know talking like this back and forth it just so those like there were like physical things and and the voice was just sort of a manifestation of that now do you ever get like because it is such comfort tv for so many people for i mean the whole world really

that i feel like people kind of just think it's easy are you ever like no this was like i was reading you describing about um the chili scene and and how you dropped it and how much like body acting how that had to be one take are you like this was really hard for me to do i'm really fucking good at this like it's not okay you find it an easy watch but like this is because of how good i am well okay one let me be very very very clear i am not performing brain surgery okay so let me just say just straight up off the top i am well aware of that but yeah i mean i think that you know particularly as um as the show went on um there was there was more physical like there was more physical stuff for kevin and and you know trying to make large physical acts look believable. I mean, there's one, probably my most painful one

that I feel like at times I'm still like, oh yeah, that's rain right there. I don't even remember. Somehow, I don't even remember the setup, but somehow Kevin had something over on Dwight and Dwight had to do things for him. And at one point he was giving me a massage in my chair. And I was, Kevin is in the chair and he's giving me a massage but he and by the way dwight another very physical character as

well is massaging my back and crawling up the file cabinet at the same time it's like on me like doing and kevin is just supposed to be like just sit there right like he's enjoying this because it would take this much physical effort to affect anything in kevin's back or whatever anyway just things like that the simplest one i just referenced this one i'd forgotten about it never think about it there was you know the episode was office workers and the warehouse workers are going to change places and the office workers are trying to figure out how to load you know whatever millions of boxes of paper onto a thing and so they decided to put grease on the floor to be able to slide the grease and we call them the talking heads right where the characters are talking to the cameras

and i'm pretty sure that it's jim who's like just talking to the kevin is behind spreading grease and just slips just bang just classic physical like chevy chase back in the day and oh yeah i must have done that 25 times yeah that cocks it still gets me right in the. Yeah. People take it. I do think they take it for granted. I think they think it must've been as fun for you guys to do as it was for us to watch.

But I mean, a job's a job, right? I mean, yeah, but it really was. No, I mean,

I mean, we know, and I'm, I'm making jokes about it now, but no, it was no I mean I mean we no and I'm I'm making jokes about it now but no it was I mean we had an absolute blast and I feel so lucky I think what people don't realize I'm really talking about this again not brain surgery just I'm just going to keep saying that but you know I think that there is especially today in reality world you know you I think that there is, especially today in reality world, you know, you don't really, you find a lot of people who don't have training who are on television, right? Not really actors,

but kind of, but celebrity, right? And there's the whole, like, I just want to be on TV. I want to be famous. I want to be on TV. And I be famous I want to be on TV and I think there is an idea that like oh if you have a certain look or you you know whatever you can just be on TV right it's there's no effort involved whereas like well no I mean like I went to college for this you know like I did theater for eight years before this like there was a lot that sort of went into it again for me so um not brain surgery but yes it paid off i mean it works if you if you went to college you did all this work you landed on you know you could make the argument the most iconic uh comedy on in tv history we always we had a guy reach out the other day i don't know where this this fella has been

but he said guys i need to start a show that i've never watched before should i watch the office it's always sunny and what was the third one john i want to say it was parks and rec but i'm not yeah or like arrested development like one of the other like iconic comedies and we were like dude first of all how the fuck is that even possible that you've never seen any of those? But the consensus was out of all those, because they're all great, pick The Office because it's the most culturally relevant. Like, you'll get the jokes. You'll understand references. There are lines that you've been probably just laughing at at parties that you're going to realize are from The Office. So it really is like that important of a show. Well, part of why I started this podcast and oral history of the office was,

was kind of based on what you said, but it was really wanting to look at why, like it was all based on a question, like a true, like exploration, which is we haven't filmed the show in seven years. The last scene was filmed seven years ago. Yet by any metric that anyone can show me, it is the most watched show in television today. I'm talking new shows that launching on NBC Thursday night now or Netflix or

whatever. And, um, and you look at the numbers and the numbers are just, they are mind boggling. Like the first day of the shutdown, Sunday, March the 15th. They kind of call that the first day. 250 million minutes were streamed on Netflix alone on that that day that day which is an incredible i mean like no i don't even understand it what does that make any sense it's like billions of billion 82 billion minutes in 2018 these numbers make no sense yeah and i'm talking to rain wilson during the podcast about this

and i'm saying these numbers and he's like what this is not like that's it can't even and so and so it's not just like the office is popular today it's that the office is more popular today than when we were on at nine o'clock on Thursday nights and the top scripted show on NBC. Right. But it's like between the office and anything else that's on, there is such an enormous gap. It's, I mean, it's truly mind boggling. So it was really about going like, okay, why? Like, why, why is it so popular?

Why is it had endured? Why do all of these, you know, 12 11 year olds why are they watching it and they don't even know it was ever on nbc they're like oh have you seen yeah yeah um and so going back and and and really examining the decisions that were made early on about casting about bringing in you in certain key creatives. And if we can find any clues then as to why it has endured so well and so successfully and is bigger today than it was then. If you had to pick one thing

that you think is the majority reason for that, what do you think it is? Well, I'm not gonna give up the end of the podcast but i'm going to tell i'll tell you i'll tell you two two things that are i think contribute to it one is i think that um when we were doing the show right we're doing the show and we like oh we're about we're almost canceled forever too which is another thing we talk about because people on Netflix are like, Oh, they did 200, whatever. And it was like, no, no, no, no. We did six and we were dead.

And then we had one guy risk his entire career and we got, we got six more or a total of 12 and then we were dead. And then all of these things happen. But we would, when we were there and we were like, Oh, can we, can, is this gonna, is it going to stay on or whatever? I remember there was some like log line that we had. Don't remember the numbers, but it was like, there are 200 million Americans who work in offices, right?

So if a certain percentage of those people like this show, we're going to be good to go, right? That was the idea. I think in the end, maybe that's's true but that's not why it's successful it's that young people are watching it it's that the subversive nature of the show and the comedy of the show um that we were not making it for them but um that's everything getting used in right the experience the experience of sitting in a school classroom with a potentially unreasonable boss slash teacher sitting next to people that you haven't chosen to sit next to. And if you're going through year after year and year, it's the same kids every year in school that you're stuck with.

And there's little Johnny who picks his nose. And there's, you know, bitchy Sarah and there's, you know, like the archetypes that exist exist there. And that idea of being stuck together with a group of people, I think translated in a way that we were not intending, but that, that, that did. Yeah. I mean, I, once, when you get a song a show some clothes style whatever

the the best thing to do is get like the young weirdos to pick it up the young weird kids who are just like yeah this is cool and they decide what's cool and funny but i do think there's an element of like it's if you work in a corporate setting you get it yeah and even if you don't work in one that setting is it's very universal because i've never worked in a corporate setting, you get it. And even if you don't work in one, that setting is... It's very universal. Because I've never worked in a corporate setting. And I love that show. I fell in love with that show.

I know the exact episode. It was, I forget the name of it now, but it was season one. It was the Race Relations Day. I forget what the title of the episode is. But like, I had a friend come into my dorm in high school and be like, you gotta watch this episode. And like right away, everything clicked. I got, I was just in high school and I still, I was like, yeah, I get this.

This, this, this, the, the paradigm here works for sure. Right. There's another, the other thing, the second thing that I was going to say, which this is, this was a new discovery for me on the podcast for sure and we discussed this but that okay if you are what so you you watch uh the last dance michael jordan documentary right so a doc you watch a documentary it by definition cannot be dated because you're looking at a specific time and place. Right. So you,

you don't look at a documentary about the seventies and go like, Oh my God, that's so dated. Right. Cause you're looking at a documentary about the seventies and of course they're going to have 70 style hair and they're going to have whatever. And so I think the other thing was that we, that it was shot as a documentary that it exists in this time and place there's no you don't ever think that you don't ever go like oh and greg daniels who was the creator talked to me some about like not wanting to put too much like current pop culture references like not wanting

to sort of date it specifically in that way but in terms of technology and the use of the computers and the computers that we have and all that stuff it's fucking old right but but the fact that the way it was shot that way it's like oh we're looking at these people in this slice of life and you know what all right the computers sure and phones probably but other than that like office office clothes is still shirts and ties and that's scrapping and right i mean when you when you look at that you don't go like oh that's so nine that's so early 2000s you'll never that that that is universal and that that mockumentary vibe i think we almost take that for granted because it just became what the office and then parks and rec and other shows kind of did

but that that at least in america that was like the first one to really hit and it that's a huge part of it too where you're you feel like you're watching reality but you're not and scripted it's perfect totally yeah and you know we talk about that too i uh in the podcast in fact the third episode is called everything that makes it harder makes it better and the reason that we call that episode that one is it kind of is a tease that that's what she said, but the idea, this came, this was a quote that I guess Greg Daniels talked to our director of photography at the time. And the idea that in the show,

you that it is shot everything there's nothing is faked. So in other words, if it's a documentary and we have two cameras and they're moving around and they're shooting everybody, right, you don't ever see a spot. Let me break it down. Michael Scott is talking in front of the conference room, right? So we have a shot on Michael Scott, right? And then we have another shot on the people who are sitting listening to him and talking to him conference room, right? So we have a shot on Michael Scott, right? And then we have another shot on the people who are sitting, listening to him and talking to him and responding, right? So the easiest way, how most television shows would shoot,

is we would shoot Steve Carell, and then we would stop, and then there would be a camera that would stand right where Steve Carell was, right, because that's a straight shot back at everybody else that's watching. That's how it would be shot. 100 everybody else that's watching that's how it would be shot a hundred percent of the time that's how you would shoot that scene but they said no because if we do that how where is the camera who's shooting them he would be standing in front of michael scott you can't we can't have the camera there because if this scene were happening in real time like a documentary we would see that camera. So having to find different angles,

strange angles, corners, moving around, uh, uh, pillars that, you know, through plants, all of those things were taken from reality TV and truly made the show way more difficult to shoot, but also gives it that vibe that you're like spying in you're like leaning in wanting to see stuff and and you know so that's one of the things that we talk about in the podcast about the things that people would never think oh you would never pick that up yeah but and you don't know making it better but it is it it is and so you go back and you start

and if you start looking at those things and the weird angles that it's shot from that you don't think about you're like oh yeah like and that was a rule i mean that was like a hard fast like rule um they they the example i'll very quickly in the podcast they talk about is there were two guys and they were from reality tv and they called it the dance right so they're moving you know one guy moves this way the other guy counters this way and they're kind of watching each other out of the corner of their eye they would talk about going into michael's office right so michael and let's just say dwight goes in the office and michael's charging ahead into the office and there's a camera behind him

and he's following him into the office and what they would have was the other camera guy would be behind the door right and so they would come in, you would see that shot. And then as soon as it passed the door, the door would close and the camera guy would come out there. Right. You don't ever, you would never think about that. You would never see that, but that's the only way that they could make it work. So as you're watching it, you're seeing not something shot perfectly framed. You're seeing people having to fight and get around things for a shot, which I, you know, I think made it better. Yeah. Well, that's what we were kind of, I think what we were saying in the beginning is like,

that's fucking awesome and intricate and detailed and like the art of it all. And people think it's, you know, that's what she said and it's a lot more the dance. Right. You said that, you know, that what she said and it's a lot more the dance right you you said that you you know that there's not much dated in the show but we were joking not joking we're just talking earlier uh with creed first of all where he was telling about a deleted scene you guys were in where jan was talking about the natural birth and it was like omaha beach or whatever and he was like he's like that's stuff we'd never get away with today.

And we recently talked about the line where Michael was like, when I was a kid, gay meant lame or whatever he said. And like now it means homosexual. Do you think that there are how many, how many lines do you think there are that wouldn't play today? Well, I have a standard answer for this because I think it's i think it's quintessential the office i think it's um you the shot is steve carell which by the way this he came up with that made us laugh

in the room early on he takes his chair and he turns it around one of the chairs in the conference room we're in the conference room he turns it around right so he's straddling the back of the chair and he's leaning on the back of the chair and he's getting really intimate and he he leans into oscar and he says oscar what's a what's a term that's less offensive than mexican it's the one it's the one line and oscar it's one of my favorite and oscar says that mexican is not offensive michael i'm paraphrasing all this, by the way. And he goes, yeah, yeah, but what's something that's less offensive, right? You can't say that, right?

You can't say that today. But think about the sum total of that scene. You have someone based on their physicality who is really trying to do good, right? But he can't. He's not capable. He's misguided in a weird way. And he just doesn't. But he's trying to be better. And he's just saying a thing that, by the way, would be said by people.

But the sum total is every other person in that room is going, that is a horrible thing to say by their facial expression, why they're grown, whatever it is. So the sum total of that scene is that is, you are not allowed to say that. Right. And I think so often we need black and white. We need, oh, you can't say that. Well, why not? If what you're saying by the sum total of the scene is the opposite.

Right. We're saying. You're condemning that idea. Yes. And it's about this character who, by the way, is not saying, you know, any sort of horrible thing that i'm not going to say here for a soundbite but you know what i mean like but like he's he's he's trying and that doesn't make him okay that but we're also not we're not making a joke. The joke is not, is not on the subject matter. The joke is on him and his,

and his inability to get it right, to get it woke, to get it whatever. And so for me, I don't understand. I also don't, I don't think that if you have a show that whatever just sold to the peacock for $550 million or whatever it is, someone's going to make the show. So I don't know. I, it's very complicated, especially during this time. It's incredibly complicated to know what is right and

what is wrong. And, and do you not say that? But for me, what I look at in anything is the sum total, right? It's the whole stereotype. Like, um, if you have a bad guy, the bad guy smokes, right? Cause smoke is you were sending a subconscious message that smoking, but it's like, I just think the depth with which the characters were explored and and and the fact that everybody was kind of trying to get it right even when they screwed up i don't know maybe makes it i totally agree i actually i i think it holds up there we were talking about like friday night lights you can go back and watch friday night lights and their lines were like jesus but. But I think The Office has

very, very few of those. I was actually surprised to hear Creed say, like, we couldn't have gotten away with that today. I was like, really? I think I think you can both be right. I think what Brian Sands wrote, and I bet you Creed's right too, I bet you they would say, yeah, listen,

the joke is that it's a dummy boss who's screwing up, and he is offensive, but we just we can't do it. You can't say the words. And yeah. And by the way, I don't I'm not even necessarily disagreeing with Creed. I think I'm questioning more. Why? I mean, the pendulum swings. It just I mean, it just does. And and I think that I, I think it's, it's easier to say nothing, right? It's way easier to just say, no, you can't say that. You can't, you can't say that word, that idea, you can't express, but I don't know. Maybe I'm a little more like Dave Chappelle on this idea that it,

that it becomes about the sum total. I'm not, by the way, that came off wrong. I'm all, no, I'm not, no, I'm not nearly the genius of, of Dave Capelle, but I just mean,

maybe I lean more towards his thinking on some of these things, which is, I don't know. Would you say you're woke or super progressive? That means you're not. So I'm not going to say that. But I just feel like the sum total is what matters, not the specific words at times. But I do think there are things you can't say.

I mean, like maybe Meredith making a joke about selling sex for meat. Like maybe that, that the good old days. When she's like, have you ever had to lay honey? I think it's on character. That one. Yeah.

I don't, I don't know. Do you have an episode in the podcast series tackling the post steve carell days because i feel like that's very uh highly debated and contested i feel like actually people in later years are kind of coming around on it more what's your thoughts on those final seasons without steve um i well one of the things that we talk about that I think will be new, really new information for people, which I didn't even realize how new it was, but, um, I'm going to be intentionally slightly vague in any way, but you're a professional.

I respect this. There was a, there was a, the amount of discussion that happened between the network, between the creatives on the show with input from the cast of our show that, that how many people were weighing in on what is the show without Steve? And I think for me, it was very clear what it was and what it should be. And to Jenna Fisher specifically, who talks to this point and says to me that we use throughout, I don't think I've ever said this publicly,

talking about what we were experiencing there. And I've been hearing stuff where there's every once in a while, there's like a new revelation from the office, which in part, that's why we're doing the podcast because we want people to hear from us by us, what, what our recollection or experience on the inside was and i just got asked i did a reddit ama right and someone said oh there's a thing out there that james spader was a pain in the ass to work with i was like nothing could be further from the truth i think he's a genius and

was generous and kind like so it's, I don't know where people get some of the stuff, but yes, in the podcast, we do talk about the transit. You know, we talk about Steve leaving, obviously we do an episode on that. Um, and then talk about the transition after and sort of what decisions happened after, um, to, to have the show to, to continue the show. Do you think that they're underrated episodes i i think i think in the moment everyone was it was so jarring to have steve leave that it's kind of just changed like the vibe but if you go back and watch those episodes they're hilarious it's there's still so many talented people on that show that it's still an incredibly incredibly funny show

that i think kind of dismissed right when he left for reasons unbeknownst to me. Yes. Yeah, 100%. And I'll say specifically, I don't want to go too much into, I mean, you know, there is stuff in the podcast about that. I would say that

the thing I will say is I think that to your point, The thing I will say is I think that, to your point, the episodes and the journey leading up to how we ended the show are incredibly underrated to me. Yep. To me,

I think I would challenge people to find a better, more successful ending. And part of that came from the very beginning. Greg Daniels, our creator, said, we're telling a story, right? So what does the story have? It has a beginning. The documentary crew shows up to shoot a documentary. It has a middle, all the years that they're filming. Now, the one joke about the show is like, really?

They were around for nine years never aired it but all right there's been documentaries where that's true and then three that the documentary airs and that necessarily changes every single person who was shot right by by by by kevin malone seeing himself on television and the way, you know, just like a reality show, right? The way he was edited, the way he write, like I'm talking about character, not actor. That changes him. That changes Jim and Pam. That changes Michael Scott. That change. I mean,

like everybody has changed based on that viewing and so to me I think that Greg did an amazingly successful um idea of building that up like they know it's coming and um and in some ways beginning to reveal the documentary crew through that last season um you know humanize them a little more like, oh yeah, these, there are people who are there with them and have been there for nine years as well that we don't see. I think that stuff excites me. I mean, you know, so I was very proud of that. We can talk about this for hours. So we will let you go. I want to get one last question in though. What was, what's your vibe?

As someone on the show do you think the american or original british version is better you mean the little skit that they did in england um that's the sound bite that's gonna make ricky fucking kill me um i know i think that they are i think that i truly i just think they are totally different i mean i think you have a when you're looking at 12 episodes which was my joke you're looking at 12 episodes and a special and you're talking about 204 but whatever we ended up doing it gets complicated because the hour longs and stuff but you know i mean you're just talking about a totally different beast

you're looking at you know in in in the british version you're just talking about a totally different beast. You're looking at, you know, in the British version, you're looking at a slice of time, which, you know, everyone is essentially staying in your lane and you have a love story playing out. Like, I mean, that's what it is. I mean, you're talking about our show, you're talking about years of depth and marriages and kids and, you know, the workplace evolving. You know, it wasn't the same when we premiered as when we ended,

even the stuff that we're talking about. So, truly, I just think that they're so, so different. Ordinarily, I would be like, ah, that's a cop-out answer, but I think in this case it really makes sense it's like no i really and i really i mean by the way i was a humongous fan of the british version i wanted to be the role of kevin malone on the office because i was such a fan and i knew what that was you know what that character was coming out of and i loved the show i just thought it was genius um but i uh yeah i it's just so, I mean, it's funny. I don't even get asked that so much anymore.

In the beginning, that was like all anyone would talk. I mean, that was all anyone was talking about. Oh, it's not the British version. Oh, it's not. Oh, it can't be the original. Oh, you know. And nobody was watching it because I think the, you know, whatever. I don't mean this politically, but like the progressive people who might be interested were like, they were already fans of the British version and we've seen that. Right.

And so, yeah, but I just think it, you know, after even, even if you say not two years, even if you say, you know, by two, three years you get into episodes, you know, the Christmas episodes that we did and then like booze cruise and, you know, night. And when Pam did and then like booze cruise and yes you know night and when pam and jim finally kissed i mean you start to get into those episodes and you're like oh okay like i mean it's just it's just it's just a bigger thing right not better but just bigger well it is probably uh the best funniest tv show of all time and i you know what i really

love by the way the fact that you're just like all in on it and there's no, like, I don't want to be known as Kevin Malone. I don't want to talk about the office. It's like, let's, let's give it its proper due and talk about only that. And I think fans are going to love this podcast. Well, let me say this, like on social media, right. I post a picture of me golfing and someone says like, don't spill the chili. I'm not all in. Like, I, like, it's like, come on, come on guys. But, but to me, I think that the, I think it's about wanting the, wanting this, our story out from us and, and, and really really, to me, it's fascinating that I'm in a Billie Eilish song.

Like, that's fucking fascinating. Like, it's just, right? Like, that doesn't make any sense at all. Right. Or that, you know, like, I'm playing golf with Michael Jordan. Like, these things don't make sense to me. I know that. things don't make sense to me. They don't make, they don't make sense to me, but it's like, you know, the, the, what the, what has happened to the show and all these things.

It's like, um, it's, I mean, it's just crazy. That is utterly nuts. I would say, I think it's an unbelievable idea that all, I hope all my favorite shows do a podcast like this, but you know, it's, it's the only top, top, top elite that really like deserve it or require it. So, uh, thanks for doing it because I think everyone's going to love it. Well, thanks you guys. Uh, I'm a fan of yours, so, uh, good luck.

And I appreciate you having me on. Thanks so much. Go check it out. The oral history of the office, Brian Bumgarner, all your favorite stars from The Office, and be well, my man. Thanks. Thank you so much. Cheers. I think we are prone to hyperbole, like you said, and I know I'm always caught up in recency bias, but I really think that was –

and maybe it's just because we're diehard Office fans. I mean, obviously, you have to be an Office fan, but I think that was one of the most – I mean, when you just squeeze in at the end that you played golf with Michael Jordan and – That was like I wanted to ask more about that. I was like we're out of time. I know. I said, you really played with MJ? And he just like kept going.

And I was like, I guess he just fucking did. Yeah. So there's – I mean I can tell that he was like, go listen to the podcast. That's why I'm here to promote it. We'll talk about all these things on my show. But, man, I could talk to him about that show for probably like 10 hours forever it was it was honestly one of my favorite interviews ever because a lot of times you have kind of already addressed this but like you have a character someone who's played a character they want about new things it's like he's talking like he's here

to talk about voting is talking about that character so he's down to talk about all you want i was there were times where i was like all right the interview is over like i'll wrap it up and then i was like oh wait a minute i didn't even ask about like michael scott leaving and then we asked about that and then i was like shit i didn't even bring up the british office like we gotta talk about this and i feel like i could come up with a thousand more of those things 100 that uh but to be honest it's probably better coming from his mouth and the mouth of all his co-stars rather than me and him so go listen to uh the oral office of the oral history of the office where it's him and the whole cast going through the phenomenon that is the office and uh let's wrap it up today talking to creed bratton who i believe is one of the best secondary

characters in tv history and just one like that dude he should have a podcast just about his life like he should write a book i mean the stories he's he's he's told and the things he's seen that guy's lived like a thousand lifetimes. I can't believe he's alive to be totally honest. We talked earlier about like, which lifetime is like the most like unique and impressive, whatever Creed Bratton says, whenever he was born and whenever he,

whenever he cashes out one day, that'll be the most impressive life ever lived. So Creed Bratton, let's finish it up. All right. How are we doing? Good guys. All right. Thanks for having me. You guys are absolutely. lived so creed bratton let's finish it up all right how we doing good guys all right thanks for having me you guys are absolutely look okay for you guys there everything looks good man

we actually we got to start this with a big congratulations to you um you were just put on a list moments ago on BuzzFeed with 21 former The Office actors on Instagram and looking amazing. Congratulations. What was it for again? I believe the headline of the post was 21

The Office characters on Instagram and looking amazing. Most recent post with Iggy Pup, I believe. So you got it still.gy pup that's my my friend lynda's dog that's the kid i i'm in love with his little lab puppy he's you know that's cheating you post a picture with a puppy and you know i'm i'm just a whore you know i'll do it man so you just dropped your ninth studio album, which is pretty crazy.

I feel like by now, I feel like most fans of The Office also learned that, you know, you're a musician. But, you know, nine albums in, you're more a musician than you were, you know, an actor on The Office at this point. I feel like everyone knows that you do music as well. But it's always a cool discovery to find out that you are a lifelong musician as well. Absolutely. Well, thanks. Yeah. I, I, uh, well, I'm 70. So I'm 77 now. So I start, I've been doing this for 60 years. I started. Yeah. That's crazy.

Professionally on stage with older guys playing in a, in a, in a club up in Bass Lake, California. So 60 years ago you were playing professional gigs? That's right. That's amazing. True. I mean, I don't care how much you love it. Aren't you sick of it after 60 years?

No, I'm not. My grandparents played. My parents played on both sides of the family. I pick up the guitar faculty every day. They're around here and they're my girls, you know, well, I can't, I haven't gotten to pick up because of the pandemic, but it's always the guitar. They're always vying for my time, you know? All right. And they talk, they kind of have their little language.

So I picked them up and caressed them and it's, and that's how the songs come out you just sit there playing and all of a sudden songs happen really? I never planned to write a song about a specific subject per se they just

there's a lot of artists that are that way though the songs just come out Lil Wayne was that way so you and Lil Wayne are very similar Lil Wayne and Gene Bratton. Yeah. Very, very. I guess I'm a good company guy. Are you very much missing touring?

Oh, yeah. Very much. Very much. I mean, I miss my, not being able to hug my granddaughters more. Right. That's rough. But, you know,

everyone's going through this. But yeah, the fans, I mean, I don't, we don't get paid for flying and driving in a car, which you get your payoff for. What I get paid off for is walking on stage and feeling that rush when I play my songs for my fans, you know. Right. And it's the best.

It really is the best. Anyhow, anybody that gets on stage to a live audience will tell you that. Well, part of one of the, one of the good things to come out of the pandemic was your former co-host, John Krasinski. He started up his Some Good News. Oh, so great. So great. Yeah, it was a real hit. And specifically, it was a great series, but specifically the reunion episode where the entire cast of The Office came

back for that couple who wanted to get married during the pandemic. And we did the dance. That was awesome. I mean, that was, when he pushed that button and all like 30 of you popped up on screen, it was a very cool moment for sure. It was great. It was great. John's doing just great things. And he's well deserved because he's a great guy. You know, he really is. Yeah. I mean, listen, when he, when he, you turn into a Jack Ryan and, you know, he went from. It's not well, he's got great guy. You know, he really is. Yeah, I mean, listen, when you turn into Jack Ryan, you know, he went from –

Yeah, he's not well – he's got too much. It's too much. He's so jealous. Don't be jealous. He's so strong. It's too much. I'm definitely jealous. You're right.

For sure, jealousy. That's exactly what it comes from. Absolutely. Yeah, and you had Emily and, you know, my God. Oh, enough, John. You're right. You're right. You're right. And you know what?

It's like he can have the movies, TV, the wife. Now he started to do internet content, and he's dominating that. It's like, that's our field. Leave it alone. You got all the good stuff. Leave us to this because that's all we have. You know, a lot of people don't know that he does pro bono work, too, for charity events, too.

He's a lawyer. No. I thought you just dropped a bomb on me. Absolutely. You hate him now when you hear this. He was a medical doctor.

You could have told me anything. I know. That's one of the things that I'm good about is lying very well they call it acting i call it lying are you uh are you getting a chance to i mean is there any any um plans to tour at all or is everything just on hold right now well we were booked for uh and i had to cancel twice to australia new zealand because i've been trying to get down there for years.

And now we had to cancel twice. So now in March of 2021, if they allow me to go down there. Yeah. And I know I can't even get into New Zealand now. Right. And they said Australia, I could come down, but i would have to stay in a hotel for two weeks and i don't get to pick the hotel so i'm kind of like i i want to come down but just i just hope it clears up enough and then in may i'm booked to go back to uh europe and ireland and

in england because i went over there last year and had a great tour and it was so much fun is that where I had been there since 72 is foreign touring uh more like where you go or is it mostly in in state oh no no I go I go to the states the states all over yeah I'm they want me down and we're talking about Cape Town Africa and I've never been there, so I'm very anxious to go down there and check that out too, you know. And you're still ready to rock it and travel and all that. I was just kind of kicking feet up on the couch.

Retiring stuff, nah, that's not for Creed. Apparently not. I mean, 77 and not even a hint that you're slowing down at all. No, no, no. I feel part of my job is staying in shape, you know. I'm Mr. Biohack. I take my supplements and I do my yoga

and I have one of those inverse tables where I get up in the morning and I hang by my feet. Oh, yeah. Oh, you go Batman with it. I do Batman every day, yeah. And that is, I think it's proof is in the pudding. It's working. How long do you hang upside down for? No, not long.

Four or five minutes. What is that supposed to do? It does. Not supposed to, John. The proof, as they say, it obviously gets blood to your brain it releases the uh the tension on your your vertebrae because all day long we're walking around and we're compressing our vertebrae here it stretches the vertebrae out it gets a chance for the the the lymphs and and the uh

i don't know what i'm talking about right now the back juice to get in there and swivel around between the vertebrae. That's what the medical people say, detective doctors. The back juice swivels around in there. If you're talking about the guitar and the office, I will listen to you. Otherwise, I'm just going to assume you're lying to me. No, but look it up. Look up the inverse gym.

There's a world of uh good things it does for your back sure we actually used to advertise for one of them i never got mine in the mail i don't believe but we we did have an advertising get one because they're great yeah well you can also get those uh those boots and two and hang all right yeah yeah you. What kind of supplements do we take? Oh, gosh. You're on steroids, aren't you, Creed? No. You know, the basic D3s and omegas. At my age now, I have testosterone supplements.

Oh, you lucky dog. I'll probably use those now, to be honest. Oh, it doesn't work. This is all dead down here now. Yeah. But I have wishful thinking, you know. Listen, you can't be a rock star and a cult classic actor and not, and have that be dead.

You got to make sure we, we, we. No, no. I'm just, I'm joking. Of course, you know, it's down there and it, no, no. I'm just joking, of course. You know, it's down there and it'll rise to the occasion once in a while. There's a lot of cracking and noise, you know, like... Kind of like an erector set thing, you know.

Oh my God, Green. But it works, yeah. You are an absolute trip, man. So a new single is out off the album? A new single out, two singles, Chan Shee Toad. I don't know if you heard that yet. Shee Toad, yeah. Which is very, very...

I was just listening to it. Very, it puts you in a good mood, you know? It's happy, it's a happy song. The vibes to that music, I like it. But the album comes out tomorrow. Slightly altered. That I did with my producers Dave Way and Dylan O'Brien.

I'm very pleased with this album. I did it with three different bands. Jack Shit and Mojo Monkeys. And then the Echoes in the Canyon band. The band that played with Jacob Dillon on the Echoes in the Canyon band, the band that played with Jacob Dillon on the Echoes in the Canyon. Wow. Now the Mojo Monkees, you had a pretty cool story with, you were playing, you played on stage with them outside a store,

a store opening for one of their live performances? I used to send in with them once in a while at Ireland's 32, which is a bar out here in the Valley in LA. And they're just the best. They're just, you know, I mean, God and they're just the best they're just you know I mean God they're great man and uh they and they invited me over one day as one of the uh I think it's Taras Pradanyak's wife uh the bass player his wife owns a antique store for clothes you know all this amazing stuff in there and they were having an opening for the for the store so we we set up in the street right out in the street and I'm there playing and people are walking by and they were having an opening for the for the store so we we set up in the street

right out in the street and i'm there playing and people are walking by and they go when they come back and get wait a second i know and we're just having fun you know yeah i mean i i would imagine it's always a fun uh when people do make that connection and they realize that that creek can also shred the guitar i'd imagine it's's always a pretty fun revelation for them. Well, they still love people still don't know that I've been, that I've been doing this for so long. Right. Yeah. Yeah. People don't realize that it's like, it's the other way around. You know what I mean? Like the, the, the,

the office is more of the funny thing and the music is what you've been doing for, like you said, 60 60 years i can't get over that number that's insane it's true it's absolutely true i mean kids uh then they're kids i have a young audience i mean i have a really young when i'm on stage i say please kids bring your great grandmas and they think I'm joking. So, but they, but they come up to me, I can say come to the show because of the office. And then, then when I meet, if I have time to meet them afterwards, they'll say,

you know what? We were so moved by the music that we were going to download these songs and we're going to get these songs and stuff. So I'm slowly, the more I tour, though, the more I tour, I see my records doing better and better and better. So it helps to be out there seeing people. We will gladly push the music out

there for you. We'll gladly push any grandmas out there. We actually, we're about to interview Brian Bumgarner at three today. Oh, please. Is there something we could tell him that will just completely throw him off? He'll be like, how the hell do you know that? It's a little inside scoop on him.

A little inside scoop behind the scenes at the office that only you guys would know. Let me just think about this. Well, you're going to find out that Brian does not sound like he does on The Office for sure. Really? Oh, no, no. That's not him. Huh. Interesting.

He's a very erudite man, you know. Wow. You'll hear he has a new podcast out, which he'll tell you about. Yeah. He's had a really good job on this. I did the show. I did the show. I did the show. Oh, why don't you just say,

Creed confessed that when he, when he did your podcast, he stole the mic. He stole the mic. All right. I love it. He felt, he didn't, he didn't, he felt bad about it afterwards. Cause you were like, Brian was so kind to him. It was too late. He already pocketed it. You two actually just went viral the other day for a deleted scene from The Office where Jan is breastfeeding and you two kind of both just stare at her.

Oh, yes. Do you remember that scene? I know the scene. I know the scene too. I was in tears. I know the scene, too. I was in tears. I'd never seen that before. Was that the scene where she's talking about giving natural birth in the tub? Yeah, yeah.

And make the comment about the Omaha Beach kind of thing? It's cool. We wouldn't get away with it now. The office was so inappropriate back then. But then it was so innocent, and we got away with all that stuff. We're just lucky. Timing, timing, timing, timing. Amen.

Well, the new album, Slightly Altered, is out right now. Go download it. Look for Creed when he's out on tour. And make sure you support the guy, and we'll see you soon. And bring your grandma. And bring your grandma. Gentlemen, hey, guys it was such such a pleasure talking with you both thank you for having me thank you so much great kevin later see you later bye i've got some issues that nobody can see and all of these emotions are pouring out of me

I bring them to the light for you It's only like this is the soundtrack to my life The soundtrack to my life To my life To my life To my life To my life To my life

To my life To my life Uh-huh To my life Yeah To my life Uh-huh Yeah Uh-huh Yeah Uh-huh Yeah, no, no Yeah Yeah