KFC Radio - Cuddle Buddies, Participation Trophies For All, and Meth Addicted Animal Fights

Episode Date: November 14, 2019

Are the Astros hiding an even bigger scandal? Should everyone get participation trophies just for not constantly being on the internet (shoutout Gary Gulman)? Too much chitchat from the new hires at Barstool. Voicemails: Cuddle Buddies, Wild Night At The Strip Club, Always Healthy or Always in Shape, Met Addicted AnimalsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by Roman. How do you last longer in bed? I just don't last long in bed. We gotta work on that. Yeah, like, I mean, but like, you know, they say the old tricks of like, think about baseball and think about your dead grandma. That's bullshit. But like, but not only is it, I just don't even do it. I'm just like, think about baseball and think about your dead grass. That's bullshit. But like,

but not only is it, I just don't even do it. I'm just like, I'm going to come fast. Yeah. It's like, you know, certain things are just kind of written in stone.

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My back hurts a lot. I was trying to hypervolt you, baby. Really? I don't like this. Oh, this is great. If you're watching on Gold right now, go to BarstoolGold.com slash KFC. I'm addicted to this shit. The hypervolt. No free ads, but it was Gold right now. Go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC. I'm addicted to this shit. The Hypervolt. No free ads, but it was a free ad.

This thing will jackhammer you into the next fucking couch. What is the appeal of this? The appeal? First of all, that's just the lowest setting. Let me go. One, two, three. Oh, buddy. First of all.

It feels awful. If you're a chick, you should have one of these. So this is not a free ad because this is the worst thing I've ever felt. This is the best thing. No. Your back hurts. Stop being a pussy. Stop being a pussy.

Stop. Me? Me? I just sit there. I sit there all night long and I just like, bam. Dude, I can't believe I watched Austin fuck herself with one of these. I didn't realize until I had this thing. I did.

I'm not kidding at all. I watched awesome fuckers off one of these that just like didn't register register to me as a big deal i was like yeah okay but i guess i guess other people like wait what yeah yeah no i mean like that hurts on my shoulder like i can't when you see this it's like oh yeah it's a vibrator thing girls fuck themselves with it it's like no this is like a jackhammer yeah you can't fuck yourself with this unless you're a professional that's like some jack oh oh oh my god my vision is crazy right now oh i don't recommend putting on your head whoa i was gonna say it's like jack yes like these are professionals i also

was like i fuck myself professionally do not try this at home uh but yeah it was one of those ones where like even beforehand she's like do you think I can take it? Yeah, if she's questioning it. I was like, yeah, probably. To yourself? Like at home? You can do it, girl. I was like, yeah, I bet you can. I bet you got it, girl. You can take that shit down.

Only the pros, man. Only the pros can do that shit. I do it all the time now because I'm going to the gym, John. Going to the gym. I saw your tweet yesterday. I mean, when I say I'm going to the gym, I should say I went to the gym. It's a singular occurrence. No, it's two times occurrence.

You've gone to the gym twice? Twice. I've gone to my trainer four times and the gym twice. Okay, that's six times then. Yeah, that's a lot of times. It's a lot of times. The ball is rolling for me. That's like six times more

than the past decade. Have you ever routinely gone to the gym? When I was much younger and then we went for a summer before Keegan was born. Like six times more than the past decade. Have you ever routinely gone to the gym? When I was much younger. And then we went for a summer before Keegan was born. Oh, yeah. I remember that. You guys would show up with all the sweaty all day. Yeah. It was terrible.

Morning workout is terrible. It was ridiculous. Yeah. It was good, though. I mean, I lost a lot of weight, and I was in shape. And then my second kid came along and just torpedoed my whole plan and went back to being gross. But this is it, man.

This is it. That's good. Gym life forever. What did you do yesterday? Knock that fall off. What did you do yesterday? Lower body. Lower body?

Squats and shit, yeah. Oh, yeah. I just do upper body, lower body, upper body, lower body, upper body, lower body. You do lower body? Yeah. You did squats yesterday. Yeah. Yeah?

I mean, I'm not talking like, you know, I fucking loaded up the weights and shit. I just hold a kettlebell and do regular squats. Why did that surprise you? I don't think that counts. Why not? I don't think that's squats. I think if you say you did squats, that's – Okay.

Well, I mean, I did the act of squatting down. I squatted. You do squats. I do squats. You do kettlebell workout. Okay. Fine. That's fine.

I think it's I mean look they're both more than I did it's just I think that if you say squats someone's gonna picture that right like it's not like I'm like maxing out like

put it back on the rack I thought you were smashing squats no no I did like three sets of ten holding like a 30 kilogram kettlebell or some shit

like that's it how bullshit is that that they do kettlebells with kilograms they're so confusing like we're in America you fucking asshole and by the way like I didn't realize that at first I was like kilogram kettlebell or some shit. That's it. How bullshit is that that they do kettlebells in kilograms? World of America, you fucking asshole. And by the way, I didn't realize that at first. I was like, I'm really out of shape. This is only

like 30 pounds or whatever. It's not that big of a difference, but it still was like, this is pretty fucking heavy here. Wait, how? Right? Or is it the other way around? No, I think it's... A kilogram is like two pounds. Right, okay. That's pretty heavy. I was like, oh boy, I'm really weak.

But yeah, new me, bro. You intimidated yet? No, but I'm happy for you. No, you're not. You don't give a fuck. Is I am? No. I think it's cool that you're going to the gym.

That's a stretch. Why? It's cool. Yeah. If you had to list... I really enjoy going to the gym. I just don't like doing things I enjoy. If you had to list.

If you give me a list of cool things, me exercising at the gym is on it. Yeah. That's not true. I think it is. Like, cool things are hoverboards. I know. Not me working out. Because I think it's like you are, you're coming out the other side.

You're doing a lot of things that are good for you now. Yeah. think that's cool that's cool that that's or that's good at least yeah so i think that's fucking cool man thanks dude you're welcome this show is just one big therapy session where one day i have to hype you up one day you have to hype me up this is just a suicide prevention show that's all this is it's like if you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts just turn on kc radio don't call like 1-800 this and that just listen to us talk each other off the legend you can probably relate there's someone someone at home going like yeah it is cool that i'm doing stuff for me yeah yeah thank you guys yeah and they put the gun down they like they turn off the car open the door, take the head out of the oven.

We're doing big things. And that's cool. And that is cool, man. Is that we're preventing suicides out there. Number one feminist podcast. Number one masculine podcast. Number one anti-suicide. We are not.

Just honestly, only because we'd lose listeners for it. That's the only reason. We'd be like, we're down like a third of downloads. What happened? Well, they all killed themselves. We didn't do a jigger job gassing up this episode. Oh, if you are watching on Gold, we got Christmas sweaters on sale right now. I'm wearing the Dennis sweater, which is just a sweatshirt.

You know, it's like, we just put snowflakes on the Dennis system. Someone said to me, why is that a Christmas sweater? I don't fucking know. I have no idea. Stupid questions. I'm not wearing a Christmas sweater. It's just a sweatshirt that you wear around fucking the holidays, man. Shut up. Well, that's the shirt you wear every day.

Oh, goddamn. I haven't worn this shirt in months because it's been fall. It's a summery shirt. But today I was like, it's so cold out today that it makes sense to wear the opposite. This was one of those days. I think each winter I get softer, but luckily we've had mild winters. But the cold hit me today and I had one of those moments where I was like, I don't want to live here anymore.

I don't think it's that cold out still. Well, you also fucking got up at noon. You know what I mean? I was up at like six. It was like 10. I got up at 930. When did you leave the house? 1030?

A big difference in like six. Look, man. It's like the sun's not even out when I wake up. It was ten. I take back the whole coming out the other side thing. You turn it into a dad. It's like every time I come into the show, it's like I get up earlier than you. Alright. Well, no.

You tried to tell me that it wasn't cold. Well, it was for me. We live in a different fucking climate, me and you. Me and you honestly live in... I've said this before. We're on a time zone difference. Like me and you. I live in California different fucking climate, me and you. Me and you honestly live in it. I've said this before. We're on a time zone difference, like me and you. I live in California. You live here.

It's like I'm always up earlier, and it's different temperature for me and you. Your winter is different for me because you're not outside when I am. It was 28 degrees still. I don't think that's that cold. Yeah, well, I'm— How cold was it when you woke up? It was like 10. That's not that big a difference. 28 and 10 is not that big a difference 28 and 8 and 28 and 10 is

not that big a difference oh my god they're both literally freezing but it's just not that cold is freezing they're not that cold shut up now you're being a dad i'm not being a dad i was not that cold stop being a pussy when i was a kid now you're a dad we're both just lame is what it comes down to. But the lamest shit I've ever heard. I wrote a blog. I dipped the pen. There's this saga that's been going on for a long time if you're from around here.

Most people who are not probably don't know it. There was a third base coach for a New Jersey high school baseball team. Told a kid to slide into third. Kid broke his ankle and just had massive complications. They said the bone was dying. They almost needed to amputate. They did three surgeries. He could never play again.

And they told him, like, you can't even run anymore. Don't even do any impact stuff. Your ankle's just fucked. Honestly, that was kind of my first thought. There's nothing better than a great excuse. Oh, girls, you're on a great excuse. You know? Oh, girls, you're on your period at gym class today? Well, guess what?

My bone is dead. Dead bones. So I'm out. Your pussy's bleeding? My bone is dead. No big deal. And then, like, nobody questions you. They're just like, oh, well, I mean, he can't.

He had a dead bone. Yeah, no one makes up dead bone stuff. Right, right. So, like, I say you're lucky, but I'm sure he was all like, this is my dream to play this game. You weren't going to go pro, bro. Yeah, right. Seriously. You were probably going to play for, like, I say you're lucky, but I'm sure he was all like, this is my dream to play this game. You weren't going to go pro, bro. Yeah, really, seriously. You were probably going to play for, like, two more years. You weren't even going to play college.

Get out of here. Wait, he's a high schooler? Yeah, 15. 15 years old, broke his ankle. Parents sue for, like, millions. Goes on for seven years. Jesus. Yeah, they finally won.

Because they got kids now. The coach and, the, the, the, the coach and like the, the school won. So they didn't like find them at fault. Okay. And this was more like a lot of people see like they're suing the coach and they're like,

fuck that. It's like they're suing the insurance company. Like that, that dude never had any threat of him paying out of pocket. So when Kevin brought this up pre-show, maybe we should talk about it, I said, I might have something that will dead this conversation. And he was like, okay.

And I was like, it's a quote from Friday Night Lights because that's all I know. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. It's like when Jason Street apologizes to Coach and he's like, we just don't have any money. Right. I can't afford these surgeries.

Right. And we have to sue it you yeah and i think that's usually pretty understood but like i don't think it wasn't understood for me until i saw friday night lights for like the people involved oh that guy was like i'm fucked it was like i think it was probably explained like you're kind of the figurehead of this yes but i would imagine you still like have to lawyer up or like spend some of your own money in that department and then i think it's just is it all covered i would i mean like if we get sued right we're covered is i think your job usually covers you from a lawsuit that happens because of your job yeah well he was 23

and he just wrapped up he took the stand at 31 and like not that that's like you know this kid like couldn't walk and shit so that's like the real issue but like if i had a fucking lawsuit hanging over me for like like, a decade, just being, like, he was, like, it was all anybody ever talked about. It was all anybody ever knew about me. Like, this fucking blew, which is more like an inconvenience than, like, oh, I, like, lost my life or whatever. Sue him back.

Yeah, countersue. A decade of, one-third of my life has been under emotional duress. Yeah. Like, a lot. Yeah. And you know what really, what it might be? I've been in the New York Post daily for 10 years. The main point of my countersuit, the kid, he's now 23.

He said, like, almost like... And this is just an episode I read from the article. I'm sure he said many other things. But the thing they picked out was he was like, I just feel bad for my parents. They never got to watch me play. I'm like, oh. Oh, okay, willie mays like like your

parents were deprived of watching the beauty that is you playing baseball they probably fucking love they never had to go to one of your stupid games ever again you think people want to watch a jv baseball game give me a fucking break people out there throw like 62 miles an hour and like give me a fucking break that your parents were like, we're never going to watch again. Dude. The, uh, great. We don't have to drive you anymore. The documentary documentary,

the standup special. I recommend the other day, the great depression. Yeah. He, uh, Gary has a bit in that about, he's like,

he's like, give kids all the participation trophy awards because they are putting down the best video games in the history of the world to play little league baseball, which is a more boring version of major league baseball. Yeah. For real. It's like, you know how much cool shit there is to do in the world right now?

Give me a fucking break. Give them a trophy. It's like, he's like, look, I love major league baseball. He's like, but that's because I was a doctor at a young age.

Yeah. He's like, and let's be honest here. Major league baseball is a game. you can do your taxes during while coaching first base yo i never thought about it because i said that forever i was just saying the other day about parades and fireworks and all the weird things that we do it's like back in the day when there was nothing else to entertain you you had to do dumb shit like that i think yeah we're probably at the point where you could throw sports in there where it's like uh i could

be like doing like fucking like 3d hologram like you know i could be go i could be getting famous on tiktok right now i could be getting rich instead i'm playing some soccer on the orange team get the fuck out of here like some local field that sucks with shitty equipment with terrible competition this sucks dude i could be like i want to go home and watch youtube get me the fuck out of here that kid's so lucky he broke his ankle fuck out of here you should be thanking that you really you really should get an award just for showing up. Yeah. Because it is. We're just propping up these stupid community things that blow. Like youth basketball on the eight-foot hoops. I played hockey my whole life.

I would get up at like 3 o'clock in the morning to go into a freezing room and sprint. And get hit. How terrible. 3 a.m. I would wake up to go sit in a freezing room to sprint and get hit. Awful. Even forget about organized sports. I remember playing pickup basketball on a day like this. Where my hands were like, I couldn't even feel my hands as I'm playing basketball.

And the ball is like dead because it can't even bounce because it's too fucking cold out. It's getting dark and people are like, should we go home? I'm like, no, let's run it back because we got nothing the fuck else to do. Give me a break, sports. Dude. Shits for the birds. Sports I did, my freshman year of high school, I did a sport where it was just running.

Yeah, that's insane. I did cross country to get in shape for hockey, which didn't work. No, it never does. And it was like, what's this sport? We just run. Awful. And people play? Yeah, we just run.

And they're into it? They're proud of it? So stupid. Your sports, my sports punishment. Yeah, it's the punishment. Yeah. Fuck you. Everybody gets a trophy because you could be doing so much better.

Are you not playing Call of Duty right now? Congratulations. You showed up to the fucking field. Are you not, like, scrolling Instagram and seeing what's on there? Are you not doing what the internet has to offer? You're not looking at Sierra Sky's fucking titties right now? I could be at home with Summer Rae. Instead, I'm here with my fucking Little League baseball coach.

Fuck off. Give me a break. Sports is stupid. Anything other than just doing whatever is awesome technologically, stupid. Speaking of sports, you know, for the few people who gutted it out and became professionals, we've got a big scandal brewing in baseball brought to you by Steve Madden. If you're going to be off the field and off the court, you got to look good. When you're showing up to the game,

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Going to make you look good at work, make you look good when you're out on a date or at the bar. Classic silhouettes, modern twist, variety styles covered at Dillard's. So go check it out. Get yourself some Steve Madden's. The Astros have been caught doing exactly what I feel like everybody kind of knew the Astros were doing, right? Everybody knows the Astros

are doing some crazy shit. I think this is the Astros version of Greenies. Yeah? I think almost the Astros lead this, because they're doing so much more than this. Oh, like, yeah, don't look over here. Yeah.

Well, yeah, yeah, we've been stealing signs. Meanwhile, we have like... Meanwhile, we've been using the fucking... Hacking into your fucking cameras. I think they've been using whatever... Who's the Russian boxer from Rocky? Ivan Drago? Drago.

I think Astros players train the way Drago trained. I mean, honestly, just look no further than Jose Altuve. It's just not... I mean, it's just not making any sense. Everyone goes to Houston and just gets awesome. They become incredible. They're doing something more than just like, oh, he's throwing a fastball this pitch.

They're only three pitches! Stealing signs isn't that big a deal. That's so true. Is it going fast, or is it going to go a little bit slower and move? That's it. That's really fucking it. And also, he's got a fastball with inside run. It's just a fastball!

And like, spin rate is a fucking phrase they made up. It's like, yeah, our pitchers, the ball's spinning at like 20,000 revolutions per minute because they're on steroids. Because they're cheating and they can snap that motherfucker. It has nothing to do with some old guy reading a chart saying, we need to spin the ball more. Yeah, I fucking know that.

I know I need to fucking spin it and then it's going to curve. I know that, man. Yeah, it's a fastball curveball team jump. Those are the three pitches. And like even... You can take even 33% guess rate. It doesn't matter if you're stealing signs or not. And the smoking gun,

they're banging on the thing. The pitcher immediately was like, all right, they have my signs. We got to switch it up. This lasted for like four pitches. Yeah. It's like, all right, so like for a tenth of one inning,

they had an advantage. I mean, yeah, they got to be doing way more. If you think that the Houston Astros sustained success is just because of a camera in center field or something, you're a buffoon. I mean, that's it. That's a good call. This is a decoy, big time.

Huge decoy. This is Mark McGuire with the Andro. Even when, like, Ken Rosenthal was reporting it, he was like, shout out to, like, these former executives or whatever going on the record. Like, people rarely do that. They rarely do it because they're fucking lying. They're in on it. It's a plot.

That's why they're doing it. That's why. I just thought of this. What a take by me. Congratulations, Josh. Do you think? Do you think that they were thinking, all right, somebody's getting a little too close. We got to break them off the bone.

Yeah, because everyone's been talking about it. Towards the playoff run last year, everyone was like's like wait what the fuck is going on in houston right they're like we steal signs i they i mean i i actually really respect them giving something rather than just being like no we're just good like we got great coaches and a great staff like listen nobody can do this only just only starlet's cat yeah so let's like let's not even go down that road of like no no we just do our homework we have to tell them we're cheating a little bit yeah yeah that's the end it's the greenies they go oh oh these in my locker i didn't realize these were bad my bad let's talk about that and only that you i i'm picking up what you're putting down, buddy. I smell what you're cooking. It has to be.

I didn't put that all together, but my first thought was kind of like, okay, but that doesn't explain all of this. So there has to be more. And you got these dummies like Huggs who are being like, we figured it out. We got them. They're banging trash cans. Void the World Series. They're banging

on a trash can. He knows when I'm throwing a change up. Who gives a fucking shit? Get out of town. You thought that's what got you four years of sustained success in a league where you can win the World Series and not make the playoffs the next year?

Look at Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve. Those guys shouldn't be as good as they are. Look at their body. Bregman, you don't make any sense. You're cheating. Justin Verlander stunk. Yeah. His career was like done.

In Detroit, he was bad. He was a bad pitcher. It was just like, yeah, you've had your run. Now it's time to decline. Oh, wait a minute. You're in your prime again. I don't think so. Justin Verlander got fired from the detroit tigers

and then married kate upton they're doing something everybody's like look at the fucking pittsburgh pirates letting them go it's like well yeah he went somewhere and became a different human right became a superhuman after we let him go pittsburgh's probably like well we weren't cheating yeah yeah we just have protein shakes what do you want me to do i'm sorry it'll be interesting when garrett cole goes elsewhere and he's like, all right, Joe Madden, all right, angels, where's the good stuff? Oh, we don't do that. Like, oh, what, I just got to rely on banging garbage cans now?

I'm fucked. I'm going to be like I am in Pittsburgh again. Shit. Yeah, I like that. I like that. It's a lot more believable than, like, we had a camera. Honestly, that still doesn't make any sense to me. Like, so there's a camera that can be relayed fast enough to someone.

They saw the sign, and they bang. I mean, it's like... There's not that much time. People are like, oh, it's like the version of Spygate. Yeah, you're right in the sense that, like, it didn't matter at all. That's what both... That's what Spygate didn't fucking matter Spygate was like we were filming

the sidelines from a place where it was legal to film the sidelines and people just made a huge deal of it fuck if you could like yeah I mean like yes knowing a fastball is coming would help I get that we're obviously exaggerating a little bit here but like of course that helps it doesn't make you like a world

series contender for four straight years in a league full of parity. Because you go, well, something's happening here, so we're just going to change the signs. And it doesn't explain the jump. Guys come here and become Hall of Famers. Not because I knew a change-up was coming. For the most part,

we're all big league hitters. You can kind of figure that out anyway. Someone was calling in the radio today like, oh, well, remember when chapman was smiling after that like he knew what was going on what he might have been smiling like i gotta get me some of those steroids but yeah like i mean everything is now a smoking gun like oh he was laughing because he was like you know he knew what was happening there was a guy who called wfan today an astros fan who was on the verge of tears like legitimately geo the host Gio, the host, was like, are you okay? Are you going to start crying?

He was like, I am appalled. This is the most disrespectful thing they can do to the game of baseball. And he was like, and Gio was like, what the fuck's wrong with you, dude? And he was like, and this actually ties into our earlier discussion. He was like, because baseball is the one thing that hasn't changed since we were kids. 60 feet, 6 inches, 90 feet, foot bases, like da-da-da-da. It's like, well, yeah, and all the steroids and the fucking, like, shut the fuck up, man.

What has changed that much? Basketball is the same, like 100-yard fields. If you're an adult human And you have like Actual emotional reactions to Your team Or players cheating That's what happens They're all cheating But I also if it was my team

I'd be like with them Fuck yeah Have you followed Barstool Sports for the last 10 years Have you followed the New England Patriots Yeah I mean I would be emotional If the Royals were cheating in the World Series. I would be fucking furious. But if it's my team, I'd be like, nice.

Yeah. Fucking right. Let's fucking go. So if you're still in the case, good. Yeah. We're good. Yeah. Even if not, you want to avoid the college championship?

Don't care. I was going to, yeah. It doesn't happen. Wait, Reggie Bush didn't win the Heisman. Yeah, he did. I remember that season. He had the country by storm. He won the Heisman.

When he was back in that year, I'm sure now he's like, oh, man. I missed out on that Heisman. And especially that because that was just money and shit. If you get popped for PEDs or something like that, it's kind of like, yeah, listen, I didn't actually do that. I was cheating. If it's just like, well, I bought my mom mom a house but I still scored like 30 fucking touchdowns in like six games but also PEDs everyone's taking PEDs

and not even like the illegal kind like protein right there's supplements pre-workouts like where is the line I kind of feel like George Jung right now where it's like look I moved some weeds over an invisible line. The judge is like,

no, the line's real. There is a line. And I'm like, well, what's the line? Oh, you took a little NL Explode, but you can't take fucking parabolic steroids. It's all the same shit. It's a pretty clear line. I get it. It's called vitamins or fucking the cream

in the clear. What's the big deal? But they are still like, they're right. They're all performance enhancing drugs. They do make you feel better. They make you fucking faster and healthier. Well, the reason John's saying this is because he did steroids. I did do steroids. He probably still does.

No, I don't. Look at his body now. I've said this so many times. Can you just make me do the HGH? Just be like, shame me into it. Call me a pussy until I do it.

Just make me do it. No. Why do you want me to do that? Because I to do it but i'm just like i just need someone to like make me do it i think you i think it would be funny if you just got jacked wouldn't it be amazing like the funniest storyline ever all of a sudden i was like the most in shape guy like you'd be so yeah if all i said if i got back into shape where i could like play and do shit and i was like then i was just like sexy that would be really funny that's that was like that's like my pipe dream like i did this because it was like i want to be able to like play with my kids and my body is breaking down like every time i'm on camera take a picture or

like wear a shirt that's a little too small i'm terribly self-conscious but three if i pull this off it would be very very funny it would be like mac you know it'd be like yeah post where he was like how he got yeah it was like sleep nine hours a day so that's why i eat 16 meals a day did you sleep yeah start sleeping nine hours a day dude that's that's the only reason i'm not huge i sleep 12 hours a day i mean your body gets all the rest at once did you see the latest episode of Sunny? I actually have. I'm like three episodes behind. It's a funny episode.

They do climate change and like patties represents, which, by the way, they had to have done climate change already. No, no, no, no. They've done some so many like they've done some multiple times, like gun control. I think they've done two or three times. But climate change is definitely one they haven't. So in it, patties, like the temperature is fluctuating in patties. And at one point, it's super hot and they all take their shirt off. And like, I mean, Rob is like, he's got like the best body in Hollywood.

It's not like he got in shape. It's like, if you're putting a gun to my head, it's like, who has like the best body out there right now? It's like, I think it's him. Which is fucking crazy. Rob McElhaney, then Captain America. Yeah. He's like Hemsworth level. He's Chris Evans level.

It's like, it's crazy. Hashtag not my sonny. You're too sexy, man. But yeah, anyway, let's go on. Condone cheating. That's why you should get me it. Okay. Okay.

We got to get into a little inside Barstool because there was a little drama here yesterday at Barstool and we all know how you sick motherfuckers love that gossip. So a little inside look behind the curtain is brought to you by LetGo. Inside these Barstool walls, there's probably, I don't know, I'd say millions of dollars worth of stuff

that we could just sell on LetGo. That is completely and utterly useless and obsolete here. The amount of relics and artifacts and toys and memorabilia and things that other people would probably value that we just leave in a corner or sit on a shelf. The amount of sneakers and clothes I have sitting around.

If we utilize LetGo, we could probably be like Portnoy Rich tomorrow. We're just handing out $100,000 gifts. I'm just going to go in his office and raid it and sell stuff to weird Team Portnoy people. He'll never even know it's gone. He will have no idea. I mean, that's what happened here.

Everyone was stealing our shit, probably selling it, probably moving it on and let go. Be like, well, here, you want a Julian Edelman-like relic? Here you go. Yeah, but we still have Jessa Rhodes' DNA. That we got to use. I don't know how, but it just— Somehow, some way, having her DNA gets me going.

Yeah, it legitimately does. I feel it. She made us promise to not sell it. Right. It's like, well, okay, but what we're going to do with it is way worse. Still don't know what it is yet, but... So, yeah, maybe we'll sell Jesse Rhodes' gum.

We got a lot of equipment and stuff here. The point is, if you go on LetGo, it's the app that is the largest marketplace for uh for you to buy and sell stuff locally so if you're moving in or out you need to get rid of stuff clear up some space or if you're moving in and you need to uh get some furniture or some things some decorations and whatnot and you don't want to pay full price you don't want to pay in stores you want to get just locally next. Letgo is the app to do it. You can browse all the inventory. You can buy it or sell it. And you can do it all right now. Easy peasy. When you download the Letgo app, change your life, get some extra cash in your pocket. Letgo. So yesterday,

Daniela, who is Eric Nardini's assistant, right hand woman, tweeted out a picture of the new hires, which is a constant thing at Barstool. There's just always a new hire. Like today, the new hires that Daniela was tweeting about are no longer the new hires because there's probably someone else that Dave plucked off the street today. So they rearranged some desks, and Daniela took a picture of this whole new crew of people. And she said, my new desk mates are chit-chatters. They just love chit-chatting. Which is, like, such a great way to put it. It's like, oh, you guys are chit-chatting.

Yeah. And guess what? If I had chit-chatters by my desk. I would do the same. A tweet would be the least of their problems. Yeah. Because I think it's fucking bullshit when you talk to me. Don't you dare converse with me. When you talk around me think it's fucking bullshit when you talk to me. Don't you dare

converse with me. When you talk around me, it's fucking bullshit. Well, I mean, here's the thing. These are new... And so she tweeted it out, and then Nardini quote tweeted it and went nuclear on motherfuckers being like, get to work. She dropped the goddamn bomb.

She dropped the MOBA, right? She went hard on him. Was like, there are people who want your job who are out there doing TikToks right now. Do something. And so, you know, whipped everybody into shape. Everyone was calling Danielle a narc. The morning show guys were going in on her. Oh, really?

Oh, I think there's nothing wrong with what she did. She went in there and was like, I don't give a fuck. That's what we fucking do. If someone was standing over my desk talking, I'd take a picture and be like, this person won't shut the fuck up. Well, it's a big question of what do you do here? There's a lot of that where it's like, I mean, do you know, I can't even tell you if our area desks have chit-chatters because I'm never fucking there. We're constantly in and out of a studio, into a green screen room, on the road, on the move, and it's like I occasionally eat my lunch there and that's about it uh yeah you you lost your laptop multiple times i i think i don't know where it is right now i mean i bring it in here i forget it there i don't i don't know i don't

even have a home base but uh so you are you are pro snitching at work though i don't think that's snitch i think see i think we live in a weird world where it's not like it's content that's a funny tweet like and because then people can relate to that and it's like oh fuck that it's the worst so it's like but i guess it's technically snitching but it's not such i i have no problem with what they know the new people probably view that as snitching where it's like you have to realize that when you come in here you are basically in a play yes like you are a character in a play and right now act 3 scene 4 is the scene where

the boss yells at the people who are doing nothing and you cannot take it personally you have to just laugh it off and be like alright and like I'm gonna do something and next time I'll be the one taking the picture and you'll be in the frying pan and like if you take it personal it does suck though but like you also it pan. And like, if you take it personal, it does suck though. But like you also,

it's so easy to say, don't take it personal. But when you're in that storm, it feels like it's never going to end. And it's like, it will last for six hours. Right. But it feels like that storm is going to be constant.

Forever. The waves are going to be beating against you forever. And sometimes they are. And sometimes it sucks, but that's like what you signed up for. Sometimes the scandal is like you didn't clean up your mess. Now, that was actually kind of a big one. Sometimes the scandal is you're chit-chatting at work.

Sometimes it's like your boss is calling you a fucking entitled piece of shit and ready to fire you because you didn't throw out your food. So you never know what it's going to be. But when you walk in, you know when you walk in and there's those signs that's like aware you are being filmed? You need that for employees. Forget about guests. Employees need to understand the fucking deal around here.

I think there are a lot of people who don't. I think there are so many people who... I think it's reached a level where it's just like oh, I recognize that name and I'd like to work there. But you don't get what it is. No. And work there. Yeah. But you don't get what it is. No. And even once you get here, you don't get what it is.

Until you go through some shit. It's like anything else in life. Until you've gone through some shit, you don't know what you're talking about. It's like you work at Barstool. Have you been publicly mocked yet? Have you been pulled into radio and berated yet? Then you don't work here yet. That's true.

You might get a paycheck here, but you haven't worked here yet. That's a very big difference. Yeah, you've seen the Instagram. Right. But you are still a fan. Have you dealt with Dave yet? Right. So, no.

Until Dave has, like, berated you while getting your name wrong and making you feel like you are completely worthless, you ain't working. Love it. Do we have an interview today or no? No Go check out Nikki Glaser's Answer the Internet It's 15 minutes long It's actually 13.56 I think

If we're going to be specific Because we couldn't cut out any of her jokes They were all so fucking funny And it's popping I feel like she was ahead of Bill Burr's pace Bill Burr had a bump in the middle that got him to the Million Views Club. But if Nikki keeps up, we might have another inductee into that club, into that Hall of Fame. So go check out Answer the Internet.

Go to AnswerTheInternet.com from now on. That's everything. Everything you need. Right? Is that like the new episode in there? Or like a link to it? It has a link to the YouTube channel. It has a link to buy at all the places. And it also has

a submission fee form to send in hypotheticals, questions to potentially make on the show and in the game. Could we make that so there's a video of the newest episode? Yeah, that would be cool. So, answertheinternet.com. Right now, the best bet is to go to Walmart. Walmart has

5,000 new boxes. Amazon and Barstool are not stocked right now. They're in the process of reloading. Walmart will get it to you in like two days. So go get your boxes at Walmart and go subscribe and watch Nicky on ATI now. Also on, I think Thursday, I'm going to say it on the air so that we kind of commit

to it, we'll be debuting a new video around ATI called Debate the Internet, where me and John break down some of the pros and cons or the rights and wrongs of some of the more classic questions. So rather than doing a bunch of questions

individually, we dive into the ones and let people know why it's better for your mom to be a porn star than your daughter. Yeah. And also you can steal all our jokes if you want. Yeah. If you need to play the our jokes if you want. Yeah. If you need to play the game. I think that's what the real view is.

Yeah, that's actually great. It's more, that's a good point. It's more like, be funny with your friends. Watch this video first. Watch us. We're pretty funny.

We know what we're doing. And you can watch us and you can steal it and then buy Anthony and I go play at a party and people will be like, holy shit, I'm going to fuck him.

He's funny. And it's just my joke. They're going to find out it's Spidelberg and they'll be like, all right, I'm going to fuck him. He's funny. And it's just my joke. They're going to find out it's Feidelberg, and they'll be like, all right, I'll still fuck you, though. You're cool enough to steal it from Feidelberg. I'll fuck you. All right, voicemails time. It's brought to you by Felix Gray Glasses.

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with free returns and exchanges right now when you go to FelixGrayGlasses.com slash Kevin. That's FelixGray, G-R-A-Y, Glasses.com slash Kevin for 30 days of risk-free returns and exchanges. KFC, Fife, BC, got a hypothetical for you. So would you rather never get sick again, so that means no more viruses, diseases, or any kind of injury, so you never have to go to any kind of doctor,

so you'll always be 100% healthy, or you can always have an amazing body. No matter what you eat, you don't have to work out, but you'll always be in great shape. Viva. This is a tough one. Never get sick again or never have to worry about being in shape. Yeah.

Well, I guess. Oh, wait, no. I guess this is an easy one. Because I like, I would, I want to be sick. Because you're back in shape? No. I just like being sick. Something's wrong with you.

When you say that, you don't mean like when you have like the flu or something like that right i don't know if i've ever gotten really sick like i like getting a little sick i don't i've never been like i actually can't get out of bed right now really i don't think so man i've lied about it for sure i mean i guess i guess when i think about it i don't think i was truly sick until i caught like a stomach bug from my kids when they start bringing in weird shit. That was a sickness like I've never fucking experienced before. So there's never been a time when I like I can't do what I have to do. Oh, wow.

I've definitely I mean, I've had that many, many times. But I think I'm just you also I just haven't had to do anything very hard. Yeah, no, I've had had that. I've had that many, many times. I think I'm just... You also just haven't had to do anything very hard. Yeah, no, I've had an incredibly easy life. Right, just like, well, I mean, I feel like shit, but I can... It's amazing how easy my life has been. You are the American dream, man. Just skating by.

Just like, what's the American dream? Nothing is difficult. Like, my body can be shutting down and I can still achieve my goals. When it's like, oh, I couldn't believe I had to do that thing. I'm like, what? I mean, what did you have to do today? You had to do stuff that was a burden to you? Why?

I fucking hate you so much. Really fucking hate your guts, dude. Have you ever had, like, know you're have you thrown up have you like i had like stomach bug where you puke yeah and you yeah it's like puking shit and i go to work have you ever had like the aches where your body is like oh yeah like you can't you feel like i think this also comes back around like maybe i'm just i might have had this and i'm first of all i have a very high tolerance of pain thank you to me um so i don't think you to me i have i did the i was talking to chats about yesterday like i walked around on a broken ankle for three weeks and then i went to the doctors

and they're like you've been walking i mean yeah why is it bad like yeah your ankle's shattered um so i think maybe that's like like sick doesn't really bother me that much where i'm just like i can just i can just do it um i don't know if that means i mean maybe you do just have some superhuman like qualities here but i just feel like that means you haven't ever had like a real like debilitating stomach bug because i just don't even know if it's possible i mean i had i had appendectomy and that like i that was like yeah what was what was the line the doctor said on that one it was it was the largest happened uh largest appendix he'd ever seen that hadn't burst yet because i was like you are a superhero you're a mutant not a superhero i was like i'm

just like i'm fine and they're like like you can't stand up right all right let's guess we'll go to the hospital you know what like one of the sickest i've ever been was before the wilbur i was like, I'm just like, I'm fine. And they're like, you can't stand up. Right. All right. Let's go to the hospital. You know what? Like one of the sickest I've ever been was before the Wilbur. I was like deathly ill. And I was like, I don't know what to do here. Like I was almost out like the whole week leading up to that. I don't remember. Yeah.

Like I remember I called in to what was like the main meeting for like how is like how's couch by couch West like going. And I was like, I could deal with, how is Couch by Couch West, like, going? And I was, like, I could deal with, like, the puking and the shitting and, like, the regular sickness, but I, like, I couldn't, like, lift things. Like, normal things. Like, we went to go get that couch. I was, like, I can't even fucking. I mean, not like I would be useful at that period,

but, like, I was, like, I physically can't do this right now. It was a weird, like, my muscles were sore, but I also was, like like something is horribly wrong. I never have felt like that before. I never felt like it after. And I got like barely like well enough to do the show. If that happened like in the middle of the week, I would have had to cancel the Wilbur. I was like there is no way I can do this.

I think maybe I'm always not well, and I think that's why I think I'm never not well, because I'm always not well. Basically, you know when the athletes train with the low oxygen, so they're ready? Yeah. That's how I live. My life is just low oxygen.

You're ready for it all. I'm always not okay, so I'm ready for it all i'm always not okay so i'm never not okay what's your answer to the voicemail you are you just speaking like chinese riddles these days what was the other one i don't care about being in shape what always be in shape no matter what you eat no no no i'm saying his other quote was like i uh i don't i don't care about living life i just want to be do do well at it or something like that i just want to be good at it like i don't care about living my life i just want to be good at it

that actually reads like a chinese fortune cookie where they don't know english it's like broken english i'm never well so i'm always not well i'm always not okay. I'm always not okay, so I'm never not okay. Without light, there can be no dark. Without unwell, there can be no well. You just speak in time. Dude, you annoying asshole. I mean, but overall, no matter what, even if you're a normal human who gets sick,

that's still a fraction of the time. You get sick once, maybe twice a year, if it's really bad. I'll be ripped 365 days. I would rather be... Even if you lump in the injuries? What? You got a lot of injuries. If all those go away. But also, if I was in shape, isn't this kind of a two for one? Yeah.

I get to eat whatever I want. I'm constantly in shape. I have muscles. My bones are healthy. I'm not going to get hurt. And also, I'm vain as fuck, so I'll take that. Van are healthy. I'm not going to get hurt. So I'll take – and also I'm vain as fuck. So I'll take that. Yeah, vanity wins. Give me like cancer and like a hot body. Whatever, dude. Sounds good.

What's up, KFC? By Super Producer BC. So I was reading this article about this man in Florida that went to flush his meth down the toilet, and they said, don't flush your meth down the toilet because you'll produce meth-addicted alligators. Whoa. So I had me thinking, naturally, if I could jack up two types of animals on crystal meth and have them fight to the death, what two would you pick? Diva. Oh, wow. That's a great question.

First of all, I mean, meth-addicted alligators, that's a real thing. Yeah, I mean, if you're in Florida, you're addicted to meth. Right. So, yeah, meth-addicted anacondas, meth-addicted alligators, meth-addicted men who eat faces right yeah

it's methodic like just like puppies and cats and kittens and shit you know i feel like once you like once you board the southwest flight to florida because that's the only airline that flies there uh it's like you don't get a bag of peanuts you get a bag of meth and it's like you're gonna need this when you land like you're gonna have to fit in just like yeah like in custom they check to make sure you have meth on you yeah you get off the plane it's like jumanji and they're like you're i told you oh you're trying to do this sober yeah yeah here you go it's almost like like sunny when um when uh it's when d's trying to live like charlie and he's like he's like yeah you gotta chug a beer and eat some cat food that's how you fall asleep yeah yeah yeah and it's like she's trying to live like Charlie, and he's like, yeah, you gotta chug a beer and eat some cat food, that's how you fall asleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she tries to do it regularly, and then she runs back into the room and pounds the beer and eats the cat food. You're like, I'm not gonna do meth when I go to Orlando. Right. And you get off the plane, and it's just like people are beating each other with chairs,

and there's like anacondas running around, and a honey badger jumps out of you. And you're like, oh, my God, the map. I need the map. They were right. They were right. All right. So wait, what is it?

So what other combination? What other drug addicted animal? Basically, which animals would you like to see fight? We did that. The shark versus the polar bear was a huge one. Oh, yeah. That one. By the way, I don't think we ever understood the size of polar bears.

I saw a graphic the other day. Like, you know, they make like a human is here and then this big, this big, this big. A polar bear is like two or three times the size of a grizzly bear. What? Huge. Really? a polar bear is like two or three times the size of a grizzly bear what huge they're monsters maybe not three times but it was like like along that scale but the grizzly bear was like human grizzly bear was in the middle polar bear was at the end like towering holy fuck i did not know that until right now yeah uh polar bear is yeah pretty fucking vicious hippos are sneaky vicious like you always think like lions and bears yeah those ones but it's like some of those sneaky ones that are really the one is it wasn't

i just learned this from uh from the the uh zimbabwe trip i believe which by the way is so awesome yeah i fucking za is just so happy like i almost hope he doesn't come home yeah like i want to like uh harry henderson very openly hates it here compared to zimbabwe he's like i just want to make enough money to get the fuck out. Yeah. But everything is so small. I'm so happy for Zaha. It's the last thing in the world I would ever want to do, but I'm happy those guys are happy.

But I think it was Chef Donnie. By the way, because I saw Chef Donnie today. Oh, then I guess yes. Yeah. I just put those two and two together. I have not seen him yet. But yeah. But I think he had

an Instagram video from there was a hippo outside his tent. And hippos are the number one killer in Africa. I believe. I think I learned that. They are vicious. I had no idea. Yeah, they have those big ass teeth. You know what it is? I think their mouths

open both top and bottom open. Not just the bottom. and it just fucking crushes you. I blame Hungry Hippos. You think it's a funny game? Yeah. No, motherfucker. They are hungry. They eat little balls.

They are hungry because they will eat human flesh. They eat a whole. They tell a very one-sided story about hippos. You ever see a hippo eat a watermelon? Yes, I have seen that. I mean, easy. it was a fucking like a they were chewing on like a little mint you know watermelon bro i would choose hmm i would choose a new york subway king rat i can take on anything in the world yeah Yeah, and I think like a honey badger. I think...

I don't like heavyweight fights. Okay. You want like the Mexican... Yeah. I like the welterweights. I like the guys going... I feel that. I like the Conor McGregor size.

That's why I think the snake and mongoose thing is very interesting. Yeah. That's nature's finest. It's finest. Like, it's balanced. I would do, like, a kangaroo versus, like, a monkey of some sort. A chimpanzee. Dude, the, uh, just watching animals fight is so awesome. That's a good one, though. Yeah, I mean, imagine that.

Like, bouncing. He's swinging from trees. Because kangaroos, like, disembowel you. Yeah. Animals are fucking badass. Yeah, I mean, listen. Humans in Australia are badass. Like the aborigine animals?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They will fuck you. Those are the ones. They survive all the snakes and spiders and all that. Kangaroos are out there like that. They have poison just coursing through their veins.

Right. Because they're like Bane. Yeah. No one is. No, not the good one. Not the Tom Hardy one. The bad. The freak. The freak Bane not the good one the bad the freak Bane they have like green blood

because they're bit by so much poisonous stuff but the watching animals fight is one of my greatest hobbies I don't like seeing things die typically and like I just watched a deer and a bear fight the other day and it wasn't much of a fight watched a deer and a bear fight the other day and it wasn't much of a fight really a deer and a bear yeah and it was like the like it was i just watched a deer slowly

die i was gonna say i mean that bear just fucked it up the bear just got on its back and like broke it but yeah they we don't think about that we're like they know instinctually like how to just kill you yeah and it's like they just bite your neck it's not even it's not the bite that kills you they just they jar they snap their head so quick that they they know howually like how to just kill you. Yeah. And it's like they just bite your neck. It's not even, it's not the bite that kills you. They just, they jaw, they snap their head so quick that they, they know how to snap your neck.

Wherever you're watching this, it's like YouTube. It's on Reddit. It was like, it was like a gif. And it was like, it was, there was no sound luckily

because of the sound I think probably would have fucked me up. Yeah. But it was like, you could see the deer just yelling. It was just like, ah. Ah, okay.

How long before YP dies? Oh man. I mean, he's doing all sorts of shit that's like white people i got my yeah he got you good the other day i mean yp fought yesterday yeah he got me good he fucking ripped my pants too it stunk yeah um that's part of the game um but uh eventually he's gonna like for season five of the outdoors he's gonna be all right well i gotta like wrestle this hippo and And it's like, you're dead. Yeah, yeah. It's going to bite you. I had the ants bite me and I like swam with shark infested water.

Like now I have to do something crazy. Oh, he's dead. That's what happens. And you know what? Views going up. Yeah, views going way up. We'll stuff him.

We'll taxidermy him. Put him on the wall. Yeah, he'll be my wrestling. I'll wrestle a dead body. Remember my buddy? Like our wrestling buddies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll be like that. I'll wrestle a dead guy. Remember my buddy? Wrestling buddies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll be like that.

That'd be cool. We'll make sure that ass stays fat. Inject that with jelly, bro. Next voicemail. So KFC Fight, Super Producer BC.

I just got a quick question for you. So this last night, I get a call from some girl to come over and basically hook up with her. She goes to different schools and she's in town for the weekend. So I last night, I get a call from some girl to come over and basically like hook up with her. She goes to different school and she's in town for the weekend. So I was like, whatever, no big deal. I get all the way over there and we start like making out and things

are like slowly progressing. And then like, she just stops and says, Hey, I know this is kind of weird, but I don't think I'm ready. Like she apparently just broke up with a boyfriend and was like, I just don't think I'm ready to take that apparently just broke up with a boyfriend and was like, I just don't think I'm ready to take that next step. And I looked at her and said, well, that's great. And I'm fine with that. But then why did you invite me over here? She goes, well, I just really enjoy your company

and I figured we could just hang out. And I don't want to be an asshole. So I was like, yeah, that's cool. And I just sat there and we cuddled for like three hours. Oh, geez. And I just stayed there all night. And I'm just curious, is there any way that you can like get out of that scenario and be like, yeah, like I can, but like just leave at the end?

I don't know. I hated it. I was very uncomfortable the whole time. What should I do next time? It's tough in this era. I'm not going to lie. If some girl is like, you know, I don't want to have sex with you, and you're just like, well, then fuck you, I'm out.

It just sounds kind of like trashy. You know what I mean? Yeah have sex with you and you're just like well then fuck you i'm out it just you sound kind of like trashy you know what i mean yeah i think you always sounded like an asshole it's just yes but now we'll call you out yeah right but i also by the way i don't think you you have to do it with a little bit of tact in class but if you thought there was like romantic implications and someone told you there wasn't i think you have what you're within your rights to be like i'm sorry i misread the situation and i'm gonna go yeah i well i think i would not cuddle with someone for three hours who told me she has a boyfriend and that she just wants to like it's like first of all that's not like if you want to be like serious with some guy this ain't cool either i mean it's very much the shoe is on the other foot in a sense where it's like okay the sex would have made you uncomfortable

this is making me uncomfortable i don't want to be an uncomfortable position so i'm gonna leave right it's like like you're like i thought that we were on the same page it goes both ways if if we're on the same page and and you wanted to have sex and i didn't or i wanted to have sex and you didn't if you're out of if it's not congruent it should be you should be done yeah which is fine but you're but you're not going to i don't know i really don't think i would do that i don't think you would stay the night and cuddle with the girl who and by the way did she said like i want to be with this other guy and i don't want to like it's like no i think she said she just broke up with her boyfriend oh i thought it was like she had a boyfriend and so she broke up with a boyfriend all right see now this is where

i was i invite a guy in and you snuggle all night long, that is – I don't even know. I can't say these things anymore. But that's one of those like – I do think that I'm not ready is like just something we're like conditioned to say. Like I just got out of a long-term relationship. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, you can do it right now if you wanted to. You don't have to do it now, but you can.

I've said it before and guess what? I could have sex right there. Right, right there right right right so so in that case all right i i thought when i heard boyfriend i didn't know it was broke up with boyfriend i would probably stay then thinking like all right this is a girl who at least is like interested enough in me and you know maybe like next time or a few times down the road we can develop romantically. Unless there's a hard, I'm not attracted to you at all, but let's snuggle. I would probably stick around.

She also probably wanted you to leave. Do you think? I don't know. So she felt bad? Do you want to just cuddle the whole fucking night? Girls can get weird like that sometimes. I think she's probably like, all right, dude, why are we still doing this? So she's throwing him a bone, and he's throwing her a bone,

and nobody's getting boned. Because no one's telling the truth. Right. No one's just being like, look, I don't want to fuck you. Right. Like, I would love to do a translation of that. Like, we could do the voiceover while they do the pleasantries. It's like, listen, I don't want to fuck you. Okay, but I only want to fuck you. Okay, see you later.

Like, that's what it should have been. Like, I'm here to fuck you. Oh, i don't want to fuck you okay but i only want to fuck you okay see you later like that's that's what it should have been like i'm here to fuck you oh you don't want to then i'm not going to be here anymore i'll leave that is the way we we had a business transaction in a sense where it was like come over i want to have sex okay i'm coming over to have sex and we got there and then you didn't have my product in stock yeah i'm gonna go shop somewhere else i think that's totally fair. I think in all things, it's like if you had an agreement of some sort and someone's in breach of contract, you can leave that situation and not be the asshole. Or like you shouldn't be the asshole. You shouldn't. Again, if you say to her like, well, I only wanted your pussy.

I'm out of here. Then you're the asshole. But if you're just like, you know what? Listen, I understand. It makes me a little uncomfortable. So maybe we can talk again another time when you're in a better frame of mind. Hit me up in a month. Yeah.

That's the way to handle it. I don't think the way to handle it is to snuggle for like four hours with your dick hard trying to hide it. But guess what? That guy's dick was hard the whole time. That's what we'd all do. I think you would too. You think so? Yeah.

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Offer ends November 30th, so you got to get it in now. Must take a minimum of $5,000 loan to qualify. Credit lines subject to review and change. Individual requests for capital are separate installment loans issued by Celtic Bank member FDIC. This one's a little longer. She is a little bit conflicted with the situation. Okay. KFC, Vice, Super Producer, ABC. usually we see. Okay. So I went out with one of my really good guy friends that I've known for a

super long time. Um, and it was supposed to be like a chill night, but he was like, yo, let's go to a strip club. And like, I was like, I had never been to a strip club before so I was like yeah sure like I'm down whatever and we ended up getting like super drunk like fucked up at the strip club which was like whatever fine but we ended up like paying to get

like these girls to like come in the back room with us and like you know I mean shit got weird shit got weird in the back room like I was topless like and now he's like he has a long-term girlfriend and like oh my god and he's like seeing me top so I got topless in the back room and like now my good friend is like seeing me topless so like

shit's like weird like now I feel uncomfortable like is it gonna be weird now that we like went to a strip club together and he saw me topless or am I thinking about it too much that we like went to a strip club together and he saw me topless or

am I thinking about it too much nobody cares about your titties I don't know honestly like I don't really care that much but obviously I know that like

if his girlfriend knew that he saw me topless like shit would be weird but like i don't really care dude i don't know but like sure is it is it a big deal or not i guess okay bye no it's not a big deal here's the thing nobody cares about your tits like seeing tits is like what is this like seventh grade right nobody cares i think that if you got like wild in the back room of a strip club the next time you see that guy it's not gonna just be like oh like what's up it's gonna like he's gonna be thinking about that that's gonna be weird maybe not weird but like i don't even think so i think it'd be like i think i would be like that was a crazy night i get what it would not be would that be something that consumes me what helps here is that it was like a guy and a girl. Like, guys can just be like, oh, some crazy shit, huh? But like,

let's never talk about it again sort of thing. But like, seeing your tits, I guarantee you didn't even care that you saw your tits. He probably doesn't even remember whether it was a shirt on or off. I don't even know. Depends on how wild it got in the strip club. If you hung out with a friend who you

usually keep above board and she was like fucking having sex with a stripper in the back room, I think that would change things. Yeah, but in a fun way. It would end the friendship or something like that. You'd maybe bust her balls. Yeah. Every once in a while, I would tease you about it, but it wouldn't be like a – I don't think it would be a huge – I think she's drastically overthinking this.

Right, right. I think it's like, yeah, we you – oh, you had a wild night? That was a Thursday for me. Right. Welcome to my world. We do this all the time. No big deal. As always, things are only as weird as probably you make it.

Yeah. And so if the other dude is going to be normal, if he's weird and he talks about it or treats you differently, then he's the weirdo. If he's cool about it, you just be cool about it. Almost pretend it didn't happen or say it did happen and make some talks about it or treats you differently like then he's the weirdo if he's cool about it you just be cool about it almost pretend it didn't happen or or say it did happen make some jokes about it and uh keep it moving that's it that's like a message for all embarrassing things i'm like oh you got too drunk and did something stupid oh you hooked up with something you shouldn't have oh you you know you flash your titties whatever titties i mean come on i mean really when you think about these things like so much comes from shame titties titties I mean really when you think about these things so much comes from shame titties were unveiled at the

world series this year come on like seeing something you can see my elbows you can't see

here you can't see my fucking butt cheeks in the top you can't see my nipples he's not in

trouble with his girl for going to a strip club with another girl she's either down or she

doesn't know about it so keep it a secret he's not gonna say anything because he's got this other girl he's not gonna shoot himself in the foot by joking about it or creating's not going to say anything because he's got this other girl. He's not going to

shoot himself in the foot by joking about it or creating any problems. So as long as you do the same, ain't nothing. Game's over. It's a wrap. Wrap for this episode. See you guys next week. Shout out to everybody in Philly. We'll catch you guys punchline next week. See you next time on KC Radio.