KFC Radio - D*ad Dogs ft. Bert Kreischer (Pt.2) - Interview + Episode

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 05:26 Swapping Drinking Stories 15:08 D*ad Dogs 44:04 Main Episode 45:02 Kevin's Exciting New Launch !! 01:14:14 Feits practices making it clap in the shower 01:24:37 Woman who posted about not asking her husband to do chores 01:43:00 Twitter is the Don Glover walking into a burning building meme ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Jackpocket: GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, in NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPE-N-Y. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Jackpocket is not affiliated with any State Lottery. Void where prohibited. 1 per new customer. Enter promo code at checkout for $2 non-withdrawable credit. See terms at jackpocket dot com slash tos slash free slash ticket slash promo. Sponsored by Jackpocket. Based on 2024 iOS download data collected by Sensor Tower. HeyDude: HEYDUDE Golf styles drop exclusively on heydude.com in May. Sign up now to be the first to know at https://www.heydude.com/golfYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC radio on Apple podcast, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Two questions. What? Do you think Dad can larver? I kinda do. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA You're the first person to have this. Are you serious? So this is my new drink.

I've been drinking espresso martinis since. Buddy, you're the reason we drink espresso martinis. We were on the road and we were in Australia and we said, what should we drink? And then Victoria said, you know, Kevin Clancy loves espresso martinis and he does three beans, health, wealth and happiness. So we were like, okay, so we started, Pete had one, did you have one at dinner last night? Pete has them all the fucking time.

Dude, I think espresso martinis, I think that's what killed me on our last night in Amsterdam. I remember we were at the hotel bar, I believe I was drinking espresso martinis. Oh,'s what killed me on our last night in Amsterdam I remember we were at the hotel bar I believe I was drinking espresso martinis I might have been the mushrooms I think it was the healthy dose of mushrooms I think the mushrooms were the day before weren't they? this was the night of your show yeah well you threw up on the mushrooms but you mean like the one that put you like

yeah like because we were in the ho- we were already at the hotel yeah and I like I was think it was on my second or third and we've been out all day and I remember I was like I'm gonna get away from Bert before I make an ass of myself This has been I mean I've been drinking these forever and The main thought the problem was always you have to go to a bar they have to have the espresso machine Yeah, it's always a hassle to make it and I was like I imagine if you could just have these at home have them whenever you want and so we bottled it up and

You give it the right shake put a little bit of ice in it and when you pour it out, it's got the foam Oh Baby, he's got the foam. I made a hundred of these the other day We did it like a little commercial and so I had to shake them all day long and this is This might be like my crowning achievement is having these and the vodka is already in there mm-hmm that was gonna get that looks nice unfortunately I don't have the beans right now but as long as you either have three or you have none so you're good right now look at that foam dude that's like you know when you get

it shaken up at a at a restaurant. Oh, I just got an idea. What do you got? No, keep going. That looks so nice. I see frosty, frothy, foamy, midnight bean, the Burt Kreischer review. Oh, he's gonna kill it. Yeah. Oh, that's good Dude that was an impressive performance right there 1999

1999 oh, I didn't realize that that's fucking so the cost of like a regular one martini at a bar, you're getting a bottle of this. You're getting what? Like fucking 10 of them? Buddy, hang on, hang on, hang on. Here's your pitch. Listen, right now you just turned 21 and you don't know what your favorite drink is yet, okay? You don't know. Say this to the camera. Because you haven't learned. You're a kid. It's okay. I remember I thought I was a Michelob guy. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I swear to God, when I turned 21, I thought my move was Michelob with a little bit of a napkin holding it. That was my move I've never done it since I grew up

You're gonna go through a lot of drinks But you're gonna find one drink that always works when you're with a chick When you bring a chick home and you want to make sure the conversation goes right and for me That was gin and tonic gin and tonic I learned how to make a great gin and tonic. And I knew girls liked the gin and tonic, lots of tonic, lots of lime, little bit of gin and they would, but right now, you're 21

and you got a different world. You got the internet, you got TikTok, you can swipe right to fuck, swipe left to get rid of them. Midnight Bean is your drink, you buy a bottle of this, you get a shaker, you make sure your fucking fridge has ice and when she comes home, you have two of these on ice in the freezer, you pull a bottle of this, you get a shaker, you make sure your fucking fridge has ice. And when she comes home, you have two of these on ice in the freezer, you pull them off and go, can I make you my specialty drink?

Not knowing that your specialty drink was made by Kevin. You then shake it up good. First of all, back to her as you pour it into the fucking thing. Back to her. She does not need to know that this is coming in a bottle. You shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, and then the froth is revealed in front of her face. Just, ooh, I hope you like this.

And then you pass it to her. Take three beans. Two drinks in, and you're flicking her bean. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Three beans to one bean. Three beans to one bean. Little midnight bean for her.

Grrring, grrring, grrring, grrring. Dude. And I'll tell you what I would do, I'd put a splash of porosos in there. Just kick it up a notch. Dude, that's the thing, as we're selling vodka, I noticed, I said, we were doing these bar takeovers, and I love it

in Orlando and Tampa, and I love it. Austin, we've done San Francisco, Vegas. You're not going to tell a grownup what to drink. A grownup has their drinks. You're either a whiskey guy or you're not. You're either a vodka guy or you're not. By the way, if you're a vodka guy, you know you're vodka. I'll tell you who the market is.

That guy right there, that 21-year-old who's just learning the world. And he doesn't know what to drink yet Yes And you need to tell him why to drink what to drink see we've lived a whole fucking life of Experiences of what to drink and why to drink it I learned I drank vodka. I'm I Know I've told this story about Mattel one more time. I was sitting on a plane I think I was leaving Philadelphia and I was sitting next to a male model He was gorgeous and the flight attendant came over and said can I get you a drink before takeoff and I I said, can I get a Heineken? She said, of course. Let me check to see if

we have them in the back, but of course. She said, sir, can I get you a drink? And he said, double Tito's and soda. He said, double Tito's and soda. I heard the word Tito's and I went, wait, what's that? Never heard it before. This is right before we did the weight loss challenge, me and Tommy. I said, what's that? And he goes, oh, it's vodka. It's in my contract. And I went, what? He goes, I'm a oh, it's vodka, it's in my contract. And I went, what? He goes, I'm a male model, so I can only really drink vodka.

If I'm allowed to drink, I can only drink vodka because it doesn't bloat you and you don't gain weight. And I went, really? He goes, it's actually the healthiest liquor you can drink. And I went, oh, ma'am, don't worry about going back. I'll take double Tito's and soda too. I went, Tito's, huh? And I got to two things, made and awesome,

and I went, there's my drink. As a grownup, I said, there's my drink. And I-up I said, there's my drink and I started drinking Tito's Hardcore and then I went to Tito's and I said, hey man, I fuck with you guys I would love to do something and Tito's told me you can go fuck yourself Because you already drink Tito's. Yeah, we don't need to do anything with you. You're are hey, you know what? I know Sighted more as a matter of fact You can stop drinking Tito's if you'd like

and go to a different vodka. We absolutely don't care. Wow. And when I heard that, I was so butthurt. Now that was not the individual reps in every city. Sure. The individual reps in every city gave me so much fucking love. Right, but like corporate.

But their corporate. Yeah. Their corporate was so disrespectful that when Tom and I decided to come up with a vodka, I was like, fuck them. Let's go after Peter. That's crazy. Have you heard from them since? No.

No, they don't give a fuck. They're so big. I used to think of them as an innovative company too. And I don't even know if this is true, but I've heard it once. They got started by, they reached out to Lollapalooza and were like, we will give you all of the vodka you need for the festival for free. Just make sure it's here. Well, I to say, as much as that, story sucks, Bert is his name, the guy that runs the company.

No way. Bert Tito. From what I've heard, he's a fucking pretty awesome dude. But it never got to him. So I'm saying right now, if you're a young influencer, and you're like, yo Bert, I fuck with poor Osos, hey can I help you out? Yeah, absolutely. And let's figure out a deal that's good for you so you don't

feel like you're getting taken advantage of like I always that's the same thing with those those boxes it's like send to be able to give you love yes and and also dude you gotta teach a 21 year old this drink that's the person because we're all set in our ways and it's like's like, I remember when we were getting into this, they were like, do you wanna do whiskey? And I was like, no, whiskey, everyone knows their whiskey. Your whiskey almost comes from your family. Beer, as far as beer goes, you think you're gonna

punch a Bud Light out of Shane Gills' hand? Never, that's his beer. BLs, dude, every fucking Philly kid, and I got 19 cousins from Philly, if that mean I'm more than that probably dude those dummies drink BLs all day We get on the bus and we go BL guys BL This when you're at that level where it's like I could barely taste that first one should we do another one see if I can taste it I really taste that first one. Should we do another one?

See if I can taste it? Shh. You know what? I feel like I didn't taste any of it. Maybe a couple. Maybe a couple. Throw some ice in there. Dude, your plane story reminded me of one

where I was in college and I was so broke, whatever, and I was going to visit a friend in Nashville and they were like, for 100 bucks, you can upgrade to first class or whatever. And it was a morning flight and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna drink $100 worth alcohol on this flight so I'll do it. Yeah. Right, so I get a first class or whatever and it was a morning flight and I was like you know what I'm gonna drink a hundred dollars worth alcohol on this flight so I'll do it yeah right so I get a first-class seat and I order a first thing I do as let me get a double Tito's or double vodka Bloody Mary old guy sitting next

to me goes well that sounds real good make it too and he bring they bring out two we both drink them I go keep him coming and he goes whatever he's doing. I'm doing yeah, right It's only I was flying from Tallahassee. I think so it was a short flight from Tallahassee to where to Nashville for real What were you doing? Um and And we saw the quick flight and we land probably smashed four or five Bloody Marys I get up grab my bag get off the plane this old guy like 80 years old stands up just falls right back into a seat I was like don't try to drink you with me, brother

I know you fucking fought the Nazis at D-Day, but drinking Bloody Marys with me on a flight. It's a different story All right, let's do let's do drinking stories I love and I know that you're not allowed to do this in Podcasting where someone tells a story you I got a story like that. No, everyone could suck my dick Dude, that's that's what I'm testing. That's not what I'm testing. It's what hang out with your friends is don't tell the story All he has stories is about going to Jew camp Played backgammon, yeshiva? I'm meeting him for a cigar and a drink in an hour.

So, okay, two plain stories, okay? Two plain stories. I'm on a plane one time, this is my two favorite plain stories. I'm on a plane one time, and the guy next to me, every time he takes a sip of a drink, goes like this. He goes like this. Takes a sip and goes.

And I'm like, shoot on! And I started, it was making me giggle. So I started doing it. Buddy, for like five years, every time I took a drink, I did the same thing. And I wondered if it was like when a stongus stuck in your head, someone whistles it walking by you and then you can't help but do it.

So I was like, fuck! All right, my favorite plane drinking story. So I get, I'm on a plane from New York to Tampa. This is when I was probably 25 years old, maybe 26. And I'm sitting next to a guy who I don't really know, but he's sitting in the middle seat, I'm in the far left seat, and we're probably halfway through the flight, maybe even beginning of the flight, and the flight attendant comes up and says, can I help you? I ring the bell, and I go to order a drink, and she cuts me off.

And I go, okay. And she goes, I think we're gonna wait for a second. Okay, is that okay? And I went, yeah, sure. I didn't know what it was and then I realized I got cut off and the guy looks at me and he goes, hey, you're talking entirely too much. I said what?

And he goes, you're talking. You stop talking. All you do is you, this, one more, and it goes, you have noise reduction headsets on, you're yelling, you sound drunk, you're telling, what kind of beers do you, just don't ask any questions, tap, and he goes, when she comes back, I'm gonna order us both a drink. But in the meantime, let's take half a pill. Goes in, cracks a pill in half, gives it to me.

I said, what is it? He goes, don't worry, I'm a doctor. I said, really? He goes, yeah, I'm a doctor. I mean, I know I make stories unbelievable sometimes, but I almost swear to God he had a medicine bag with him. Like, in my memory of the story, he had a medicine bag.

He had a stethoscope. He had a St. Bernard thing around his neck. So we take half a pill and he goes, let's give it a second. And when she comes back, we'll give her a minute. I'm gonna order us two drinks. I said, okay. So we take a solid 30 minutes, maybe 45, and it kicks in.

I feel it. I go, one beer would make this perfect. And I say that to him and he goes, and we're about over Jacksonville right now. I'm only saying that based on what happens in this story. We're almost done with our flight and I'm like, one more beer for landing, right? And he was like, yeah.

She comes over and he rings the bell and he looks at her and he goes, two. And she goes, oh yeah. She comes back with two of his drinks, whatever, two beers, puts them down. And I was like, fucking nice. Since that day, I speak very little on the plane. I never speak.

It's always, thank you. Because they can't tell that you're drunk. Now, we get our beers, and the captain gets on this thing and he goes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a medical emergency. Do we have a doctor on the plane? Without thinking, I ring the bell, ding, and he goes, what the fuck are you doing?

I said, we're doctors. And he goes, no, I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor. And he goes, and I'm very fucked up. I cannot be taking care of someone right now. And the pilot comes back, he goes, sir, are you a doctor? I go, we are. And he goes, what?

And I go, he is, but I'm with him. And the guy goes, the he goes, sir, are you a doctor? I go, we are. And he goes, what? And I go, he is, but I'm with him. And the guy goes, the doctor goes, hey man, we have a major medical emergency up front, can you come look at me? And he's like, this guy's like, P, he's like, yeah, uh, yeah, hold on, hold on, uh. Gives me his beer. He goes up, he comes back and he goes,

we're making an emergency landing right now. And I was like, what? And he goes, dude, shit's fucked up. There's a baby with like 107 temperature up there. We have to get that baby into a fucking hospital right now. And I was like, what? And he goes, dude, shit's fucked up. There's a baby with like 107 temperature up there. We have to get that baby into a fucking hospital right now. We called ahead, they got like a fucking, they had to get hit, they called ahead, they had an ambulance waiting for us on the tarmac.

Whoa. The pilot said, ladies and gentlemen, what you're going to feel is an aggressive landing. I want you to know that this is well within the capability of this plane, but you will feel like we're being in it and we're getting into a plane crash Yeah, it will feel like we're going down But we are above Orlando right now and we have emergency clearance So everyone buckle your seats and hold on and we dove into Orlando and we stopped within

Ten feet of where we landed and a fucking ambulance was on they got that kid wrapped up in ice or whatever took him off the fucking plane and then he goes all right we're taking off back to Tampa doctor looks at me goes you want another beer that's great man dude the before we let you let you go, I texted you after Lucky came out and I was like, I gotta tell you about the story about when I put down my dog. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, this is great. Dude, so it was probably like two years ago, right? And I was home. It was like a dog that my parents had. And I don't know if my dad wasn't around or whatever, but it kind of fell on me. It was like my first time in my life where I kind of had to be the man of the house.

Where it was like, I'm going with my mom and my little sister, I'll handle stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was a Sunday afternoon, so we get to the clinic or whatever, and first thing I'm filling out, just the forms. But I don't know if you had to do it, but your experience is pretty different

when it came to you, but it was like how do you want your dog to be? disposed of say right so it's like do you want to take the dog home do you want to Was it take that you can take it we can take it or we can cremate it or we can cremate it with a group of other dogs And I was like I I was like, well, okay. I was like, first start, I don't want to Holocaust my dog. It's his last play date. But I was like, you just throw it and light it on fire. Like that's just straight up the Holocaust. That's the Holocaust. Like, so no, I was like, we'll do an individual, like just burn them.

I'll splurge. burn her like how she is Sure Cut the time in half Five dogs here they're doing five separate times. Yeah, I'm gonna turn this on One time in five piles Little pile for the poodle, little pile for the shiitsu. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen, right? And then, so then we get into the operating room, whatever the hell you wanna call it, the observing room, whatever, and they come in,

they're like, we're gonna put this catheter in her, cause they tend to pee when they get put down, all stuff. My sister now, she loses it, she can't be in the room anymore, so she runs out. and my mom is like, I'm gonna go take care of her And I was like, okay like I'll stay with this dog who I loved very much But it was a dog they got when I was like 22 I didn't really spend it wasn't my childhood dog. And so I was like I was like, okay, I'll stay with Maddie and

They come in and they're like we're gonna give you a little more time with Maddie. So just here's a buzzer Ring it when you're ready and I was like dude, I'm at the fucking hospital. I'm ready to like I don't Like I've been laying on the floor with this fucking dog trying to get my courage up to come kill her all morning Like I've been here just come kill her all morning like I Fucking kill her and like stop right and so they go so then we I'm just sitting in the room I'm like, I don't know. What's the amount of time? I'm supposed to wait like I'm ready I will how long am I supposed to be sitting in here with this dog that I'm about to I'm about to fucking kill Like I'm the one you are disposing of you're the execution

I'm giving I'm giving like yep kill her As they come in, and I think you mentioned it in the special where they get very happy. So she got really happy. Every dog before you kill it is like, you know what, I'm feeling better. Yeah. Dude, Mona was blind and deaf. She had liver failure, our littlest dog.

We had to put her down recently. And this dog, I said in the special, this is the kind of dog you should have killed five years ago. Right, right. Like it just sits there blunt, and the last day Mona starts wagging her tail and jumping and playing and you're like, you're getting killed in like three hours. Dude, that happened with our first dog, which was my childhood dog with Maisie, where my mom took her to the ER and they were like,

it's Friday, it was like Friday night, Friday evening, whatever, they're like, it's Friday, give her the weekend, but bring her on Monday, she's gotta go. So my mom took her home, she started jumping all over the place all weekend. My mom, come Monday comes, my mom's like, I'm not killing her, she's fucking great. Yeah.

She lived three more years. Are you serious? She lived three more years Well, I was like what the fuck you told me to come kill her on my She's been like kicking around she ended up living like 17. That's like another like 20% of life They just diagnosed Mac my Mac and Izzy both have cancer my two-ball message now. They diagnosed Mack, what was it, a month ago, Pete? Two weeks ago, they diagnosed Mack, and they were like, yo, he's got three months to live.

And I'm, buddy, I was like, I just got this. I'm just putting the special out, and I'm like, motherfucker. And that night, I lay with Mack. Mack's 160 pounds, so he's a big dog. So if he wants you, he gets you I said you got me today and I got I got on the couch with him And he laid on top of me his back He's drooling and his fucking head smells horrible, but I'm rubbing it and I'm kissing him. I'm like buddy

I love you so much. I am I'm so bummed. We're gonna do this every single night every night I got got me, I got you. And the next day they're like, oh, we were wrong. He's got 18 months. I was like, get off the fucking couch. Get off the fucking couch. You smell like shit. What the fuck is wrong with this goddamn dog?

We'll do this fucking idiot. Christmas time. Christmas time, we're gonna really hit this, but not now, Mac. I mean, Mac shakes his head and saliva goes on the count. Oh, God. But like. They told me.

But, and then Izzy got cancer and Izzy's, I don't know, I mean I'll find out from Leann, right, I can call her right now and find out if we heard from the onychologist. But Izzy's could be really bad or okay, but like Izzy's thing feels great, so like we think it's gonna be okay, but like if I lose both my dogs in a year, I'm gonna be fucking around Yeah, I can't just have my wife

Did I cut your story off no no no no well so she she gets excited and we had brought her favorite blanket and She was on it and she got excited and so she started jumping and the catheter fell out so she started peeing everywhere and but like the shot that gets her excited is the one that like relieves pain or whatever so she's the next one's coming right like the next bullets right there so she gets excited and starts pissing everywhere and then they're already injected the second one so she just drops dead and very sad and the doctor's like okay Here's hands me like the it's like a staples easy button hands me the easy button back

He's like we're gonna give you a minute again Just hit this button whenever you're ready, and I was like I was sitting on the floor with her and I'm like How now how long do I sit here? Covered in piss with a dead dog on my lap How long am I supposed to sit here until I hit like what it was the doctor gonna think I'm a heartless I'm like no get it the fuck like this isn't I'm not I know I don't I'm not like that I'm not a sentimental guy really so like I was like I don't know like I've already been through all of it I've done. I've done the depression the anger the bargaining. I've done it all now

I would like to not have dog piss on me and not have a dead dog in my life like it was It was fucking insane so then I leave and my sister's a fucking mess in the car, and she's like Where's the blanket and I like I told you to get one thing I told you to bring her blanket back, and I was like I can't tell her that it was a messy fucking murder covered in piss shit blood and cum So I had to go back in there and they're like it's still in there, so I'm folding up this I was like like being the man of the house is the fucking worst dude. I don't want to do any of this shit I've heard the best

Putting I mean I'm wondering if it's a reason I put this in the special, but the best Putting Your Down dog stories that I've ever heard, the best one ever is Dave Stroop. Dave Stroop owns a Columbus Funny Bone. Dave Stroop's best friend in college, gets married, can't have a, he's got a Rottweiler that he can't have in his apartment. Now the Rottweiler is a little bitey, okay? So he gets the Rottweiler and he loves this Rottweiler that he can't have in his apartment. Now the Rottweiler is a little bitey, okay? So he gets the Rottweiler and he loves this Rottweiler.

He lived with this Rottweiler in college. It's his Rottweiler and the Rottweiler is great with his kids, but it bites a neighborhood kid. The day of his son's birthday, it bites a neighborhood kid. And they go, we gotta put it down. The government's gonna put it down. We also have to test it for rabies. And Dave goes, okay, so Dave goes in with this dog,

takes it in, it's his son's birthday, his wife says, Dave, put down the dog, and then pick up the cake for the birthday party. Okay, and he's like, oh, I'm gonna be late for the birthday party. Put down the dog and pick up the cake. He goes, it's gonna be fine. So he goes, all right, so he picks up the dog,

takes the dog to the vet, sits with the dog, cries, processes, they put the dog down, Dave leaves, and as he gets in the car, he's like, all right, I'm gonna pick up the cake, tells the cake people, I'm on my way, you have the cake ready, of course. He's backing up, and they come in like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

you forgot the head and he was like huh? He goes we got the dog's head right here you gotta keep the dog's head in a freezer for like a week because we're testing it for rabies. He's like I have to take your dog's head home it's his dog's fucking head in a fucking plastic bag so he's like fuck. So he throws in the back of his car goes over picks up the cake throws it in the back of his car, goes over, picks up the cake, throws it in the back of his car, pulls up to his son's birthday party. No.

Mom's like, the cake's here. The kids go running to the back of the car, and then he's like, no, no, no. No way, dude. They threw the dog's head in the bag. Why did they give it to him? Happy birthday. I don't know, you gotta keep a dog's head, I guess. Yeah, you know how cozy I get.

The best, I've heard some of the best putting a dog down. It makes me feel like, and I think that's part of the reason I put it in the special, is like, I think everyone's been there. Yeah, it's kind of like a trauma bond communal thing that everyone's gone through. Dogs are so fucking badass. Can I tell you, okay, if you could take one quality from a dog other than licking your own balls? What would it be can I tell you falling asleep? Mmm dogs fall asleep dogs fall asleep and then wake up in a panic and then they're normal

Imagine waking up like what the fuck Honestly god that's kind of how I wake up That is I mean I did it this morning we that is how he operates I knew a guy who it was a cat wasn't a dog but they had some sort of problems the cat rabies or biting clawing whatever was and they had like a clawing, whatever it was. And they had like a family friend who was just like a seedy guy who, you know, he's a guy who takes care of things, you know?

And he was like, I'll take care of this cat for you. Got on his boat, drove out into the middle of the ocean, tied a brick on it, threw it in the water. Can I tell you, can I tell you, can I tell you? So hang on. So my, listen, I love my dad, okay? My dad and I are very different men, so if you know my dad and you know me

and you're hearing these stories, believe my dad before you believe me. My dad always says he's got an active imagination. Our childhood dog bit my sister, Cotty, in the face. To this day, I think my dad killed that dog with a baseball bat. Really? To this day.

To this day. Let me tell you, there's two reasons, there's two reasons, there's two reasons. Number one, and I'll give you three reasons. Number one. There was a bloody baseball bat. Number one, he was hosing down our back patio. When I woke up, he was hosing down the back patio.

That's number one, okay? Number one. Number two, and you know, look, I was a kid. I was maybe like, I must have been like, I must have been older, I was like 17. If I'm not mistaken, they brought the dog into, they said the dog went to the farm, but the person that was taking it to the farm,

they brought the dog in a basket. And number three, my dad had a huge bite mark on his fucking hand from this fucking dog. Now let me say as a father, oh as a father, wait, my dad didn't love the dog a ton. he would like I mean once again if you're listening this and you know my dad you know me listen to my dad my dad's the truth I'm Burt okay my dad wouldn't my dad would pretend like as we pull up in the house that he'd try to catch the dog with the garage door I'm gonna get him this time one time. He didn't he broke his back

Bro have you that's a have you told that on stage no, that's unbelievable To this day, I'm certain he killed that dog with a baseball bat I'm certain I hope my sister Cotty answers That sounds like the uh... My sister Cotty was watching this dog sleep. Yes. Hey, two questions. What? Do you think dad killed Arfer?

I kinda do. How did he do it? How did he do it? Wait, hold on. Hold on. How do you think it? How do you do it? How do you do it? Wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. How do you think he did it? I think I think it was kind of like What was that movie where the chick fell down the stairs? I think it was kind of like that Okay, hold on

Did did dad break our's back with the garage door? Yes. Hang on, we're on a podcast, so if you need this taken out. Oh, right. No, it's fine. Yeah, I swear to God, I remember that so vividly, and I was like, I think Dad killed Arfer.

Yeah, no kidding, I ask him almost every Christmas. Do you think there's a chance he did it with a baseball bat? I don't think, no. I don't think that was involved. I think it was like involuntary manslaughter. He said, who was the lady that came to pick Arfer up to go to the farm?

Oh, his secretary. You know, I found out, because I asked him most recently, I asked him if he actually did, and he goes, know, I found out, because I asked him most recently, I asked him if he actually did, and he goes, no. And I go, how come Jan, or whatever her name was, never took home his stuff under her desk? She was like, well, that's because Arfer ended up biting another person on her farm,

and they sent him away again. No. So they were like, no. Arfer, hang on. Arfer, just to put in perspective, was a Jack Russell Terrier who, Cotty, tell me if I'm wrong, was a wild animal. Yeah, he was, yeah, for sure. We didn't feed him, he ate snakes and birds.

So Arfer was this wild animal my dad got, and he lived on our lake, but he just ate snakes, he caught rats. I remember one time they were building the Arnold's house, do you remember this? And there were rats, and they shoved Arfer's head in and held his back legs, and he came out with rats on his mouth, and he was just eating them. Oh my God.

And then we're like, that's so weird, I wonder how he got heartworms. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. how he got heartworms. All right. Unbelievable. How old were you when you got bit by Arfer? First grade.

First grade and she was sleeping, Arfer was sleeping in my room. The dog was never allowed in our house, but he got heartworms and so they let him sleep in the house. And Cotty was in first grade and she was staring at him watching him sleep. And then he... No, I wasn't. Not like a creep. He was having a nightmare and I cradled him. And I don't think anyone ever cradled him in his life.

And that's when he bit through my upper lip and cheek. Oh, it was rough. It was like a face... I'll never forget what Dad said. What did he say? He came up with blood on his hands. I Think our for bed him. I think I told ya he said no one goes no one go downstairs. Gee, gee, where's the hose? He killed that dog The evidence is pretty damning

I don't know. I don't think he's going to cop to this one. God damn it. That was crazy. Okay, here we go. All right. All right, you at work? Yeah. All right, I love you.

I'll talk to you later. Love you too, bye. Bye. She said we didn't feed him. You just ate rats and snakes. He ate rats. He caught a rattlesnake one time. Oh, yeah.

He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattlesnake. He caught a rattles you later. Love you too, bye. Bye. Dude, she said we didn't feed him,

you just eat rats and snakes. He ate rats, he caught a rattlesnake one time. Dude, that dog was wild. Gangster. And there would be times where our neighbors would be like, from across the day, they'd be like, hey, get over here and get your fucking dog. And our dogs would be chasing their chickens.

It was just this wild dog. And he would get in the lake and he would just take off swimming chasing something and he'd get he'd chase a gator like this dog was crazy. That sounds awesome. It was a wild animal that we welcomed into our house and the first night the first night he was in our house he bit my sister. How fucking... Legendary. That's my sister. Hey, hang on. You there? Wait, Nicole had a really good point. I'm sitting with her. Arthur bit me, and he ate snakes and rats.

And he probably had rabies, and no one took me to a doctor. They didn't check you. I went to a plastic surgeon. What the fuck? You're anxious for a reason? Because that dog bit you, didn't you? She's like, did you check him for rabies? I was like, I don't think so. She's like, wait, do you eat rats?

And she thinks? The next day after you were bit, me and you went to Scott O'Brien's house. Do you remember this? I went to the plastic surgeon, I know that. And then me and you went to Scott O'Brien's house and his dog came up and sat on your lap And you were like and there and you were scared and

Obie was like no no no, I think you can tell what happened to you And he like nuzzled with you and then we got Thelma Thelma would get hair wrapped around one tooth. Do you remember that Cots? Yeah, she was fucking disgusting. She had so many lumps on her. Terrible. You remember when I ripped her tooth out of her mouth Christmas morning? All these live rent free in my brain all these moments, the hose, the teeth, like everything.

God damn it. Do you remember when Thelma pissed on Alex's shirt? My jacket or my jacket. Oh wait, wait, can I tell you a great story? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna kill my drink. I'm gonna kill my drink. I'm gonna kill my drink.

So, so, I am probably 23, 24 maybe. Kadi is 14? No, Bert, fourth grade. Okay, Kadi's in fourth grade, I'm whatever age I am. I definitely am drinking at the time. My parents are, are mom and dad out of town? Mom and dad are out of town, they left you to watch me. So I was like in sixth grade.

They left you to watch me, so I had to like wake you up to take me to school. Half man of shit. So she wakes me up, I'm on the downstairs couch, Cotty's in sixth grade, and she goes, hey, you gotta take me to school. And she goes, did you piss on yourself? I said, what?

She goes, do you smell like piss? And I go, I don't think so. She goes, were you drinking last night? And I go, yeah. She goes, you pissed on yourself. I go, no, I don't think I did. She le? And I go, yeah. She goes, you pissed on yourself. I go, no, I don't think I did. She leans over, smells my chest, she goes, you pissed on yourself.

And I go, well, we don't have time. She goes, I don't have time for this. I need to go to school. She thinks it's great. So we get into my car, and as we get in my car, she goes, oh my God, maybe a cat pissed in your car. And I said, what do you mean? She goes, I smell it really aggressively.

Every time I bent forward, I could smell it. Me too. She leaned forward, she forward, and she smiled, and she goes, there's piss in this fucking car. Did you piss in your car last night? We drive her to school, and as we get out, I give her a hug goodbye or a kiss goodbye, and she goes, you pissed on yourself.

It's horrible. You need to fucking go home and take a shower. She's in sixth grade, I am 22 years old, okay? So she gets out of the car and I don't smell it. And then I think, oh shit, did I piss on my sister? Did I wake up drunk? Think I was going to the bathroom and piss on my sister while she slept? Oh fuck, I'm in a spiral. I get home and it's the principal of the school calling our house. No. And she goes, hello, are Mr. or Mrs. Kreischer there?

And I said, no, this is Bert, her brother. And she goes, okay, I have Mary Catherine in my office. And she said, don't worry about it, Thelma pissed on her? And I went, oh, thank God, and I hung up. And this woman goes, who the fuck is Thelma? and I hung up. And this woman goes, who the fuck is Thelma? Thelma had pissed on Cotty's jacket. And the kid behind her goes, hey,

why did you highlight your jacket with highlighter? But remember that girl I dated, Alex, she got in the car and Thelma used to piss on all her shit. Cotty goes, hey, I think Domma pissed on your shirt. Cotty, you must have been like what, 10 years old? Domma pissed on all of us. And she goes, oh no, no, it's Diet Coke. And Cotty goes, is Diet Coke on your shoulder?

She goes, yeah, I must have spilled Diet Coke. How do you drink Diet Coke? Do you drink it like this? She goes, no, it's piss on your shoulder. And she goes, no, I don't think so. Cotty smells it and she goes, no, there's piss on your shoulder. She goes, no, I don't think so. God, he smells it. She goes, no, there's piss on your shoulder. My parents would just let the dogs shit

and piss all over the fucking house. Oh, gross. That is crazy. I guess if you're eating snakes and rats, then. All right, I love you. I'll talk to you later. Love you too, bye. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Fuck. What was I gonna say? My sister, my daughter's coming home Wednesday night. I was gonna try to get us all together. By the way, the end of this episode was funner than the beginning. The beginning was so great. I think we had like two episodes now.

We had a runaway Tuesday everly, man. That is fucking, that is a realization. But back then, that's how you put dogs down. Old yellow, you shot them in the back of the face. Right, right, right. I'm not spending like a couple hundred dollars to burn this dog or whatever it was back then. Just fucking. When Priscilla had her first knee surgery, it was $5,000 and

it was by the way, she had five. Five knee surgeries? We ended up spending $52,000 on this dog because she when we we didn't get a new kitchen because of it. Like we couldn't afford it but we kept they kept doubling up and doubling up and next thing you know it's like fucking another one. You've already once you're like ten grand in you're like well I'm not gonna bail out. It's one more and then it's another one Yeah, your pot committed to this dog and her dad real serious at our house goes Well hang on you got a gun here, right? I was like yeah, he goes well. Let me take care of that dog

He was just gonna shoot in the back of the head That's what you do better than a baseball bat Or the stairs. The stairs is crazy. Like, how do you throw a dog down the stairs? I think if you're killing a dog via stairs, it takes a couple of tries. Yeah, that's not working. You don't throw it in the wall, you throw it back up, you throw it down again.

I'll tell you right now. The dog just had to fall down the stairs. I'll tell you right now. It's hard for me to say because when Mona was a baby when we first got Mona She bit Isla and in hindsight she bit Isla a lot and I think Isla deserved it Isla was a lot with dogs. Yeah But the first time she bit Isla I was like that's it for this dog. It's fucking gone. No one hurts my kid If one of my big dogs bit my kid,

I'd lose my fucking shit. It would rip her face off. Yeah, I wouldn't have a lot of space for someone hurting my children. No, we've talked about the dog culture. I love dogs as much as the next guy, but it's got a little crazy. I remember I kicked a three-legged dog one time.

Not to kick it, kick it, but it was coming at Isla, and you could tell it was coming after. It was marketing to attack her. And I had three legs, so I just kind of nudged it with my foot, and it rolled over. It got stuck upside down, and the woman lost her shit. And I was like, yo, the rule is it's people then dogs. Yes, but there's a lot of people out there who don't subscribe to that which is fucking crazy.

It's crazy to me. Fucking crazy. Dude, you see the videos of the girl that got her nose bit off by a dog? My buddy, I know one of my Leann's really good friends got bit by an Akita. No, by a pit bull. By the way, Leann's redneck friends are redneck. The dog gets in a dog fight, the lady shoves her finger up the dog's ass. Dog bit her face, dog guys gotta be put down. You can't have a dog that bites people. Look, I got two 160 pound dogs. You can suck their teeth and you'll be fine. God damn it, I miss my dog.

Do you think Leanne will let me get another big dog? Yes, yes. Yes, I do think so. I think she's gonna want one too another big dog? Yes, yes, yes. I do think so. I think she's gonna want one too. You guys are empty nesters, you got all the money, you got all the space, she's gonna miss them too. And then you're getting another one. I gotta get another big dog.

It's a big boy. Dude, when you have a big dog, and I said it in the special and I'm not fucking around, and I wanna thank everyone for reaching out and sharing messages that your dick gets hard too sometimes when you cut it with a big dog your dick gets hard you can't help it you can't help it it just gets hard you're like you're like yo this is almost a person I don't even care what body it's close enough to being a person when that face nuzzles your jaw your jaw and just starts oh come on man

that's a true story and lian did not want that in the special she's like you're gonna sound creepy but man if i cuddled too hard with that dog my dick would get hard and i couldn't help it i miss you priss i know that there's been a great thank you guys i love you press There's been a great You're coming on the road with me you might as well come out too we got room in the boss Do you want me to call Francis call for it call Francis right now? I was gonna say he's not a phone guy, so I'll be surprised if he's not a phone guy No, he like seems prim and proper like he still drinks tea. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you call him. I will call him Yeah, I slept wrong on my back, and it feels like my liver hurts

Drinking for 50 years straight 32 32 22 no you didn't drink in high school and shit No, I never drank because of like Don't break the rules or I didn't like I didn't like alcohol what switched I liked it turns out I was wrong Wait, so you had not tried it yet. No, I tried it, but I didn't like the idea Well, you were sure you're having Michelob's and I didn't like I didn't like the idea of being hungover I thought that was that was really scary Answer your phone, asshole.

You want me to voice me? You want me to voice him? Yeah. Francis, it's Bert Kreischer. Listen, I have an offer, a firm offer. November 13th, Hartford, Connecticut. November 14th, Baltimore, Missouri, Maryland. Number 15th, Hershey, Pennsylvania.

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We're back. This is,'s episode is going to be part two of Burt Kreischer, because we've went for like three hours with him the other day. And this, I think is entirely focused on dead dogs and it is. It's all dead dogs. And it is so goddamn funny. For the dog people out there, you'll still enjoy it. Don't be weird about it. It is so goddamn funny. Burt telling stories of his old family dog calling up his sister, the conspiracy theories they have. It was just unbelievable.

So we saved that for today's episode. So we got Burt. But first, we're going to just chop it up like we usually do at the beginning. We should start with why we saved the half of Burt. I was just going to say. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Right. So it's like a soft launch. It's like a... Because, okay, so tomorrow. Yeah, I guess we got to do it. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Okay. Okay. Big moment. Okay, so tomorrow, yeah, I guess we gotta do it. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right. Okay, okay, big moment, big moment in my career here. Do we have a bottle actually? Should be, right. Yes, actually I know what that is. So after legitimately like 15 years of drinking espresso martinis, I finally made one. And the Three Bean gang has been asking for this for a long time and we finally did it so here it is here is the official

unveiling of midnight bean which technically it came out so good right it's got this little like great Gatsby vibe to it with this very awesome the logo oh wait did you get that what the Gatsby toast to it with this very awesome the logo. Oh wait. Did you get that what the Gatsby toast? Yeah? Okay? Yeah, yeah this little logo this little this little owl is fucking awesome and So the official release was supposed to be Friday. I don't know why I didn't think about dropping it on a podcast day It actually came out on April Fool's Day, and they were like we can't announce it because people might think it's a joke And I was like What the fuck is that? So I was like, let's give it a couple days and then I'll announce it for the weekend and everyone can start buying it

And then I was like, wait a minute. We have episodes on Thursday So this is my little soft launch as and then tomorrow on social media will be the big unveiling But if you are a KFC radio viewer or listener you get the first taste of it So I had Burt Kre in, and I was like, I gotta serve him my alcohol. I can't miss this opportunity. And he ends up cutting a promo for Midnight Bean that's better than, we spent a whole day shooting commercials

and content, and what Bert did in 90 seconds for this brand was a thousand times better. Just one touch to the drink, and it spoke to the hearts of frat boys. Looked right into the camera. That'll be a better advertisement, I think. But this is, I'm proud of this one, because there's two things I will go to my grave saying,

as the head of the curve on, subtitles on television and espresso martinis, man. I mean, this back when, now it's the hottest drink in the streets, almost to the point that it's getting cliche but back in you know 2009-10 Caitlin was one who introduced him to me and you know it was it was back when you couldn't find a place that made them bartenders didn't know what they were they hated making them they you know were very rare and now they're everywhere and and we've been doing the three bean gang on social media

for a long time. So it's actually, I mean, I know that influencers and internet people creating alcohols is, you know, also cliche, but this one, I feel like I've done the right way. It was like 15 years of just organic brand building. I never intended on making one. I was just like, this is my favorite cocktail.

And I had the story with the beans and people send me pictures and we had the hashtag and I just always reposted it. And then this opportunity kind of fell into my lap. And so like the stars all kind of aligned on, you know, the marketing has already been done. The drink is popular. And now I'm hoping that it just rips to the goddamn moon. It's called midnight bean

I like the name obviously. It was not the first choice. We wanted it to be three bean Martini and when this all started it was supposed to be I don't know what happened But Erica was here at the time. She was the one who kind of made this connection with the liquor company, Sazerac, and she was like, we got the trademark for Three Bean. I was like, unbelievable. And then when it came time to like do it, we didn't have the trademark. And this brewery owned it and they were not willing to give it up and not willing to work with us. And so we had to come up with a different name. Uh, and you know,

I don't know, I'm just midnight bean kind of threw it all together. It all, it all makes sense. I like the name. I love the way it looks. And the most important part is it's fire. It's like a real espresso martini. Do we have ice in here? Go, go, go grab some ice in a cup, because I want to shake it up, too. This is, without a doubt, the best pre-packaged espresso martini you can get. I know there's a couple others in cans and ready-to-drinks. I would not have done this if I didn't know and believe that it was the real deal because

I am such an espresso martini purist. Connoisseur. And I shouldn't say purist because I like them in different ways. I like them creamy, I can do just straight black, I can do all the different ways, but there's a level of quality that I needed to have and more importantly there's a level of quality that I needed to have. And more importantly, there's a consistency that needs to be there. And you gotta have the frothy, foamy top. And if you don't have that,

it just loses a lot of its appeal. You gotta have the three beans sitting on top of the frothy foam. And that's the one thing that bartenders are, the mixologists out there can make that happen when you pop a can you don't really get that and so I linked up with these guys who had like literal chemists working on this and the beautiful thing about this is you can see it here on the label it just says shake pour foam and so if you

get I have a couple videos coming out I'm gonna show you how to shake it because it is you actually have to do it right I thought the first couple times I shook it up I was like oh this isn't this isn't really foaming the right way and they're like you're just not doing it enough and doing it the right way and so if you shake it up right you pour it out and you have yourself a real espresso martini that you don't know You don't have to go out anymore to get an espresso martini. That is Revolutionary what I would have given for that technology in 2010 2009 whenever it was dude the

story I've told before of when I was like went home with like an old woman and Was like looking on her fridge to see if like she had kids drawings. Yep, and then ended up wetting the bed Only reason I was at that bar was because they was like the only bar in Newport served as reservoir Did he call them rocket launchers at the time rocket fuel? We got to get rocket launchers So we went to like an old person's bar like a classy bar because it was it was right on theme sheet right on the end I lived where I know it's gonna know where it is like an old person's bar, like a classy bar, because it was right on Thames Street, right on the end. I lived where, no one's gonna know where it is,

but it's past O'Brien's, like going back down towards the fucking gas station. So it's like this quiet little bar, and we would go there just because they served espresso martinis, and if we could've done them. And you end up peeing in an old lady's bed. If we could've done them back at the apartment, I fucking wouldn't have went in an old lady's bed that night.

By getting the time machine and go back, I'd bring a bottle of midnight bean. I mean that was always the thing is like going out to get one and you have to go to a fancy place and it's expensive and now and I've tried to make them at home. I at one point bought an espresso machine and you know mixing all these things up and it just never really hit right and now this one does so we'll do a little tutorial here you gotta throw about two to three cubes in there you don't need a lot it's really just to kind of chill it up and i think the water helps like cut it and uh and then the key is only pour what you're gonna drink like you're gonna, if you shook up like the whole bottle, the foam wouldn't really foam up enough

because there's too much, too much liquid in there. Yeah, get a glass for me so you can see it. And then you gotta give it a good shake. Like, you gotta really. You gotta be a bartender. Huh? You gotta be a bartender. You gotta really do it.

When we were shooting the commercial, I mean, I probably shook up 10 of these. Yeah. And I was like, I mean, I probably shook up 10 of these. And I was like, god damn, my arms are tired. I can't imagine doing like a 10 hour shift. And I can understand why, but this is all martinis. When people are like, oh, people hate espresso martinis. I would hate making regular martinis.

As long as I got to shake them, this shit sucks. And the martini, by the way, I think it was in the New York Times recently, back, back in a big way. Just the martini in general. The martini in general but they I think they said it's the official drink in New York again hadn't been for a while and New York is back to it's whatever 25 year old girls decide and

that and that is the thing like I mean I was introduced to this by a woman started drinking them and I was like this is fire you You know, and I think the world has pretty much accepted that at this point, you know what I mean? But if you have not gotten on the espresso martini train in general, you need to do it. Do it with my brand, do it with whatever one you want, but you need them in your life, because they are an absolute game changer

as far as it tastes good, it gives you the, ooh, we got martini glasses. Yeah. I also have that. I tried the original sample. That's right. Yeah, so I haven't tried this yet. Oh, okay.

It came out like just as good. Like when we went down there, we had like a bottle that was like one of one, like the chemists like created. Yeah, yeah. This thing doesn't pop off. And it came out like perfect you know and I was worried about it like mass-produced like maybe it'll be

different and nope it worked to perfection so shake it up right Oh Very foamy though the seekers have fucked yeah the the top doesn't come off so It's so like Do that very very organic and on brand to have that be a disaster. Yeah. Wait, genuinely so good. Yeah. I'm not like, oh my God.

I would not, if I went down there with Pavz and if it was not good, I was gonna be like, I'm not doing this. Yeah. I'm not, I don't need, I didn't need to do this. I'm not putting my, yes, that's the thing. It's like, it's got the foam and the cream and it's like thick and it's like got the taste but it's not too sweet, it's not too creamy

and I, you know, it varies from city to city, region to region, uh, according to like, you know, prices and whatnot. But I believe the overall, like, sticker is $19.99 for a bottle. Which is fucking insane. One martini? Yeah! Usually it's $20 for a fucking martini. And now you get a bottle that serves, you know, anywhere. If you pour like a full-ass martini, you probably get like know, anywhere. If you pour like a full ass martini,

you probably get like four of them. You do like a regular. Wait, why is it so creamy? Like how does this? Dude, I'm telling you, every time I take a sip, I'm like so happy that it's like as good as it is. I'm like genuinely very surprised. And listen, I almost, I really wish.

Really good. It's like, I wish that, I wish we didn't do some of the other drinks that we did that like. It's really good. Yeah. It's really good. I'm kidding. Cause I sat here before, we sold other drinks,

where I've told you it's good. And it's like, you can pick out the ones that you know, I was really drinking away. It wasn't, you know? And I almost wish I had saved all my bullets till now so that everybody really believes me. But I am, I have a very high standard when it comes to espresso martinis would not have done it if this didn't taste right or

Had the right consistency and they absolutely nailed it I can feel it going down Real like cane sugar like it's got that it's it all it all actually is it's I can't call it It's like real cane sugar. It's got that, it all actually is. I can't call it, it's like a coffee product. I can't like say it like legally, I don't know exactly what it is, but it's like got caffeine. It technically is, it doesn't come from like a gluten-free factory,

but like it's not, it's gluten-free materials. You know what I mean? So like there's, it it all came together perfectly. And you know what it also is? It's espresso martinis for dog people. For dog people? We gotta get ahead of that. It's for cat people too you said. It's espresso martinis for parents. It's for, it's for, it's supposed to be for parents. Like, it's a lot. Dude, it is, it's everything I wanted. I'm very, very pumped for it.

So, obviously the best way to drink it is the shaker, but I'm doing a video where, you know, if you've got a regular bottle, if you've got a couple solo cups, anything that you can just like shake it up and pour it out, whether you're in a dorm room, your apartment, at a party, it's gonna be in bars, it is gonna be everywhere.

You gotta have a video series like, like if there was a content creator back in the day who taught us how to make bongs out of stuff. Yeah, this is how you make shake it. Yeah, that's basically. Give me two espresso cups, give me like, well I can make you make a fucking shaker. Anybody, if you can shake them up in bowls and buckets

Whatever you want. We'll do we're gonna do a whole bunch of stuff. I'm gonna have a Best you know everybody already sends me pictures of their martinis, and we're gonna do a little contest best Present presentation of the bottle and your martini you can win a you can win a midnight bean for a year We're gonna be doing launch parties. I think every Tuesday, I'm gonna do a little happy hour live stream, little teeny Tuesday. We're gonna be drinking martini with me and I'll just do some content and talk with you.

I'm going all out. I have never. Teeny Tuesday, I like that. Yeah, I haven't had like a real, again, any of the other drinks we did, were just kind of told to us to do it and. Yeah, there's a huge difference between an advertisement,

which is your buying space on this podcast to, for me to say, Hey, here's your product versus something. I mean, you were heavily involved with this for two years. Absolutely. Yeah. It was probably two years ago. We went down to Sazerac. We were down in, Tennessee, Louisville, Louisville, and, um, went to their like factory. How many times did you, I think you only went there once, but how often were you communicating with them?

There's a lot of communication, but they pretty much nailed, I was like no notes, 10 out of 10. There was not a moment of like, oh, actually you gotta change the color, you gotta change the taste, you gotta change the foam. We went back and forth a lot on the branding,

we went back and forth a lot on the timing, We went back and forth a lot on the timing. The name thing was a big issue. There's a lot of business stuff, but as far as the product itself, they smoked it. And the main thing is they are, it's everywhere. So a lot of the other shit we've endorsed, it's been like, a lot of our fans were like, we'd love to try it, we can't get it.

Oh, so this is in... It will roll out, but once it's out, this is going to be in every liquor store, every grocery store, every bar. It is a major, major distribution. They've done collabs with other... Chris Stapleton is under their brand, and they've had a couple really hot-selling

new liquors over the last few years, and they were like, we are as gassed up for this as any of them, yeah. I think, I mean, there isn't, you know, I would love to say it's because of me, but I also just think it's the espresso martini right now is the drink, I think, I would say,

I would put my money down that they have created the best one, there's a couple other competitors that, like I said, are in a can, or six pack, or this or that, none of them are quite like this. This gives me, God willing, Pink Whitney vibes. It comes in a bottle like that, it's affordable. When I first set out to do this, I was like, this is gonna be a higher end thing.

And that's what us Rosal Martinis are. And I was like, this bottle's gonna be like 89.99. You're gonna get like five Martinis in it. It's gonna be like $100. And the people are gonna complain. And it's just gonna be a more high-end product. And so, and I was, I almost, you know, I just was resigned to that.

And then when we went there, I'm tasting it, I'm sippin', actually the first thing I did, they shook it up for me, I didn't touch it. I just let it sit for like a 40 minute presentation, and it held the foam the whole time. And I was like, wow held the foam the whole time. And I was like, wow, that's the real deal. And then after drinking it, like the look was right,

the taste was right, the feel was right. And I was like, what's the damage on this one? And they said, 1999 and I almost fell off my function. That's crazy. I feel like 20 something year old girls are gonna love it because whenever like I have friends over, I wanna like have a nice like cocktail but I don't feel like getting all the ingredient like this is just one and it's also like you know I can eat on the

podcast just so you know like when you're like yeah you're like you're being so weird I'm just doing it when you guys are to when someone else is talking I take a quick bite I'm done now by the way I. I'm done now. It's like weird. And I'm going to put the camera to you every single time. So I'm just like showing you like. There's honestly one or two times where like I make eye contact with the camera. I mean, it's going to be creepy for the viewer and for you. Jackie's going to be here. Jackie stays till like 2 AM editing.

Shut up. She's the last one here. She's the last one here. I want to go over. I said that because like I've said before, I'm a slow editor. My point was like nobody should be here as late like I have said before I'm a slow editor. So my point was like nobody should be here as late as I am. Because I'm a slow editor, but Vinny's like that was my point. Yeah, sure.

Continue, continue. What was I saying? So, oh yeah, then it said 1999. I was like, oh my God. Oh, I think it's also like it's a it's why I love the espresso martini It's like if you're having people over and you want to have like a nice cocktail It's like are you really whipping up just like a cup of vodka Yeah, with some vermouth and some olives and some things that that is classy and it would be nice

But like and if you do that, god bless you But also it's not really the vibe in the moment for the pregame just hanging out But you don't want to just have like a beer or seltzer or something, now you have, it's elevated, but you know. I mean, just to me, the ability to have these at home is unbelievable, life changing. It was literally, I think we filmed a commercial for a similar product, the product that didn't exist, but they were potentially making it,

and they were like, what would a commercial look like? And that was like five years ago, probably. At least, yeah, that was the mixer, right? We were like, if this this happens it's a dream. Not just like for like in advertising. For the world. Exactly it was just like if they make an espresso martini in a bottle or a can, we couldn't fathom the idea.

It's almost like weed being legalized for people to smoke. Where it's like oh I can just get it anywhere now. I don't have to worry, I don't have to stress. That's what honestly getting espresso martini back then was like hitting up your guy. Yeah, yeah. I gotta meet you here. I gotta pay this much.

I gotta, but this is the only option. And now it's like, you can just shake him up at home and enjoy it. It is, I think it's gonna absolutely rip and I'm very pumped for it. I think the commercial we shot was great. And it's available everywhere. You said earlier, it's gonna absolutely rip and I'm very pumped for it I think the commercial we shot was great and it's available everywhere. You said earlier It's gonna be available everywhere. It's gonna roll out. But like it's available a lot places right now. I don't know yet I'm not sure that part. I still don't I still don't quite know

you know where and how because every state's different with legalization and Distribution and all that all I do know is they were like, we're putting a full like coast to coast distribution behind this. Which is 90% of the battle we learned. So like, like there were different brands. We're trying. We're only in like one state. And it's like, we have any listeners in that state?

Dude, why are we working together? And then we would go and it would be like in the bottom shelf at the back corner. I think this is gonna be hopefully, I think we're doing some like billboard, like cardboard cutouts of me at a liquor store. I don't know. They talk about how shelf space is, we're talking about with the mesh, right? And how that's so important.

Like, I don't know where we're going to be on that front, but I think whether you know me and the three bean gang and Barstool or not when you see this I think it's gonna be popular and I hope we get that shelf space because whether you're like pre-gaming, I think bars are gonna serve it, bottle service is gonna have it, you know college kids trying to feel fancy, I mean it is. I also feel like just to bring over to it like a lot of times when I go over to my friend's apartments for like pre-games I want to bring something but like. Like a lot of times when I go over to my friend's apartments for like pre games, I want to bring something. But like I know that, A, we probably won't even get to like drink the full thing.

So I don't actually want to spend that much money. Yeah, it's like, don't get a bottle of wine. Yeah, don't get a bottle of wine. Like, I don't know if they want white or red or whatever. This is like everyone can get on board. And everybody likes it now. I mean, the amount of people who I mean, when we did the Barstool cocktail book, that was also probably like five years ago,

and that was my drink back then. When we did the Buzzfeed list, which Barstool blogger are you? They asked, what's your favorite drink? I said espresso martini. That was back, like I said that, and I think Keith was running it, whoever was running it was like,

I don't even know what the fuck that is. So it's been my jam for a long time now, and with Burt coming on the show, we had to give him the first taste. And then so tomorrow, if you're listening to this on release day on Thursday, tomorrow will be the big unveiling. If you've been following on social media, I've been doing little vague teasers, building up to it. And we'll be doing the party. When are we doing the party? Any movement on that? They said sometime during April, in the middle of April or whatever.

We're getting there. They talked to the seller already. Okay, so we'll have a launch party. We're gonna have a bunch of contests right now. I think we have at Three Bean Gang on social media and they'll probably be an at Midnight Beans. You can follow the brand. Three Bean Gang is gonna be just for martini,

espresso martini, you know, culture in general. And so, yeah, this is a big one. I'm very pumped for this one. It came out really good. Shout out to the... It came out really, really good. It's like when you have like a good whiskey or just any good drink and you feel it run the maze.

Yeah. And I could just like... Coating your chest. I could like taste it and feel it like all the way down here that's good stuff yeah and if you if you got a shaker shake it up right do it the right way I will say the first time I got it I did not shake it and what you have to do is shake it enough and you have to pour all the foam out I only gave it a couple shakes and then I just like poured it once and I was like this is not foaming and I got

worried I was like maybe that one bottle was you know the a couple shakes and then I just like poured it once. And I was like, this is not foaming. And I got worried. I was like, maybe that one bottle was, you know, the one of one. And then when we made millions of them, they, you know, it lost that consistency. And I felt like an idiot because they were like, did you shake it? I was like, yes, I know how to shake. I know how to shake it. And then like they we did a video like we we zoom and like he shook it and it poured out right.

And I was like, I don't know how to shake shake so you do have to do it like the right way meaning just long enough and really do it for the full chorus of shake it off oh I like that good I like that espresso espresso it's a good one too yeah make sure you shake it up good whether you got a shaker some cups some I think I'm gonna shake it up good, whether you got a shaker, some cups, I think I'm gonna shake it up in a Ziploc bag. Anything, you can just give it a good shake and it'll pour out right and then get your beans, either your three beans or no beans, those are the rules.

Health, wealth and happiness, baby. So, yeah, it's cool. Very cool. Pumped. I'm just praying, I've been very blessed and very successful so far for sure. No complaints there. But there is part of me that's like, I would just love to have something rip. One thing that is undeniable, right to the top, like a Pink Whitney or any other drinks that just fucking become... People who don't even know, they like pink Whitney and a bar still thing.

It's not even those chicklets thing. Like, I don't care if you know me or drink it for me. I want you to drink this. And it would be very cool to have it be one of those like, this is the fastest selling liquor of 2025. And I don't know. I think Whitney, what we gotta do is we just gotta get our Reagan on, just drop this in the inner cities, baby.

Just drop this in the inner cities, baby. I saw you getting ready to say it. Yeah, man, I think it's got got the and the commercial we shot was very fun. It was it was so the concept was, you know, to show that you. It's classy, but you can drink it at home. And so the idea was I had John's bartender in a tuxedo and I look like a a customer in a tuxedo and I look like a a customer in a tuxedo and then when you zoom out I'm in my pajama pants. And John was in a black tuxedo I was in a white tuxedo. And that was the idea to just make it like differentiate

a little bit make it pop a little bit. And I was taking pictures in the white tuxedo and shaking in the white tuxedo. And it in the white tuxedo, and then we do the first take of the actual commercial. And I walk with a full martini and sit down and spill it all over my white tuxedo. Like down the whole fucking, the whole thing. And it was like, well, we can't use that for any of these takes again. What was particularly funny about that was the night before, Pabst had texted us, what do you guys want for lunch

during the shoot? And I said, let's not avoid Italian so I don't spill on myself. You did. Because I'm a baby. And everyone was like, it was in the first 30 seconds of shooting. It was.

And I think Pabst didn't realize how bad it was at first. He was like, ooh, that's okay. And I was like, no, it's not. No, it's not. It was brown on white. And lounge and luxury is great. That was you, right? Yeah, I was gonna say, I didn't come how bad it was at first he was like oh that's okay and I was like no it's not yeah it was brown on white. Lounge and luxury is great that was you right? yeah I was gonna say I didn't come up with that. I was like, Paz showed me the video and then I was like oh lounge and luxury I like that he's like no I just put that there for filler and I was like well it's really good. That's the one dude. I was like fuck I want to like redo the branding

I want to put that on the bottle lounge and luxury is awesome, dude We got new merch too. You can see the hoodie in the background there I love these hoodies the the the owl logo. I think also has potential to just be like You don't know it's a drink. You don't know what it is. It's just it's like it's like the the polo horse like it's Owls, I think are very cool. So there's a two pack of hoodies, one brown, one like a tan color for the drink. And I have two pairs of Wallabies coming out with Thursday boots that are black and tan to match the drink as well.

So we have merch, hoodies, boots, drinks. We have packs going out and I'm sure there'll be all sorts of contests, and hopefully if this thing really takes off, we can do other types of merchandise and cool stuff to go along with it. So, 15 years of unintentionally planning. I never had a notion to do this, because A, I didn't think it was possible at first,

and then B, actually I brought it to Multiple people that we've worked with over the years and they were just like now we don't think it's gonna work And I was like, are you sure cuz it's like the most popular drink in the world and it always just got like pushed aside so I'm hoping to prove some people wrong and Improve me right on this one and let it rip. I think having tasted it, seen it, I think you're over it. I'm also like 20 times more excited now that I've tasted it. Yeah, you don't have to fake it or anything like that. I was kind of scared to taste it.

I'm genuinely surprised. Yeah, it's something that I eat, actually drink. It's like, you know when we have our five must watches for the year? Yes. I wish there was an an agreed-upon rule that You have like one or two Cosines this is a really tasty thing yeah

This is not just advertising this is not just you know to make money I would be doing this you know even if I wasn't associated with if somebody gave me this I'd be like that is a great pre-made espresso martini, so And ask I think you know we can get it in like any bars, so if you're a bar owner If somebody gave me this I'd be like that is a great pre-made espresso martini. So And ask I think you know we can get it in like any bars So if you're a bar owner distributor owner store, whatever and you want to get in on it reach out to me We can set it all up. I'm trying to get it into a City field. Oh, I don't know if I'm gonna be successful But I heard that I heard through the grapevine of a buddy who has a friend who works at Yankee Stadium,

and I don't know how true this is or whatever, they sold like 5,000 espresso martinis over the weekend. And I was like, that sounds like a good, that sounds like a good idea. I mean, again, I think it's crazy. You go to a baseball game, you get a beer and a dog, but now people get espresso martinis and sushi. It's what it is, bro.

It's not for me, but if I could get an audience of like 50,000 people a weekend, a night on a weekend, we'd do that. So yeah, we're going to do some fun stuff with it. Follow along on social media. I think it's three bean gang underscore. I think we had to do that. Let me get that exactly, because a lot of the information

will be on that. And of course, on just three bean gang. because a lot of the information will be on that. And of course on, yeah, no, just 3 Bean, just 3 Bean Gang. And KFC Barstool will have all the information you need. And go out there, support the cause, drink it up, enjoy yourself, shake it up, foam it up, and send your best pictures, tag at 3 Bean Gang, at Midnight Bean, and me,

and we'll start getting that contest going, whoever has the best presentation. We're gonna do a three bean scale. You think anybody will try like twerking with it? I hope so. I cannot twerk, so I'm gonna say. That was Jackie's idea, apparently. Jackie twerking video coming soon.

If I could twerk, I would, but I can't, so. Unfortunately, I'll leave it to you. You ever try to twerk in the shower and accidentally have it work No, no one else, huh? You're in the shower try me clap You never in the shower try me clap dude, come on really Exactly is your What is your tactic? How do you make a class a class just fucking jump up and down the shower

Well, you get the cheeks clapping you have no ass. No there's first of all I do have ass you have no way I have ass now you want to feel my ass. I got ass dog Get the wallet out. It's harder than these pants. He's got some cheese. But you have like a... Wait, you have to do it again. Nah, you're fine. Oh, because I have to.

Yeah, sometimes I'll be in the shower and... Try to make a clap. And I'll try to make a clap. So you kinda go like this, right? And I'm kinda just like, I'll go like this. Oh, I actually do. All right, you don't try to clap. You do that? I've tried it before.

Well, you, I mean, it's very different. Girls, for sure, you gotta try to learn. If you do it, you gotta do it, right? Yeah, I do it. Yeah, kinda a little bit different, but you know. I'll be staying there and I'll be fucking trying to make it clap like that and very rarely but occasionally what'll happen is my nuts will slap and that will be loud and I'll be like oh I got it

That's what we call in industry a thunder clap. So you try to pretend you haven't done it, you've done it. I've tried the thunder clap. Have you ever just like door knockered it? Like you just kind of pick them up and drop them? Pick them up and drop them. Like you thunder clap them, but like I'm just like sitting down or something. You just kind of like swing on the back door. I'll do this.

You just kind of clap. Yeah. Well it's essentially that, but imagine you're just sitting there, you just pick them up and drop them. And they just kind of swing like a door knocker. The tits of the cock, baby, they're fun. You missed that one. Balls are the boobs of the penis.

Oh, when did you say that? Just now when you skipped right over. That last interview you missed. Oh, okay. All right, that. Fuck. Sure. The balls are the boobs of the penis. Just now when you that last interview you missed Are the boobs of the penis yeah, yeah, like they're not they're not really functional is not really useful but like they're bouncing around a little bit I

Dream the other night that um I Some guy was like just I don't know why I was staring at a penis for some reason but there was a tattoo of like basketballs And then like the shaft was like a net and I woke up just feeling that was a there was no plot to the Just that Ball and dick I'm about that life just to Was like I feel like that's on to something like somebody should get that tattoo It made more sense in my dream like a bat like a bat or around your hanging upside down Yeah, you get it has to be the ball. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't make like that much sense my dream bit

That would be kind of funny though if it's if it's what you need is the tip needs to be the ball and you got to put a Net and backboard up on like your stomach but the whole and then when you lay down yeah the ball goes the tip goes to the okay I had it like your belly button needs to think about the noise of you wet in the shower thunderclap. When it happens, it is like fucking Zeus himself. It's like kaboom. Thunderclap. It's like, kaboom! Hence the thunder. Thumbna clappin'.

Dude, I was watching American Temptation Island and you know, you can tell they're trying to have their like Montoya moment. They can't show people getting like clapped in America but this guy was having a threesome and the subtitle said Rhythmic Wet Slapping.

He was having a threesome in the shower. Popped that on a subtitle sweatshirt. It was actually great. This guy was like, I'm in love with my girl. She's amazing. I want to be a monogamous, but I just love threesomes. I just need threesomes in my life. And then these two girls, who I think are the girls they introduced, who are like,

I'm just here to home wreck, they were like, let's go. And you see them go into the room together, and she's like, so let's do this. And he was like, she was like, so what do we do? And he was like, let's start slow. I like to watch first. I was like, this motherfucker's never had a threesome. But guess what? You know what he's got?

Forsythe. Yeah. No threesome, but foreside. I'll just be the fucking threesome guy on Temptation Island. I'll just tell everyone I'm like an expert. Smart man. And he ended up working out because there was rhythmic wet slapping. the fucking threesome guy on temptation island i'll just tell everyone i'm like an expert smart kid sorry man and he ended up working out because there was rhythmic wet slapping

i mean that's how every guy is with sex you just like pretend you know how to do it i just fucking love pussies you get all the yonce i'm like i don't know what to do with that that's hard

the fuck am i supposed to do with it i don't think you girls really appreciate how hard it is to be good at sex wait i also feel like on the last episode when I said I was like Having like talking to a guy a weekend. I'm not I'm I'm not going home with the guy by the way And there was one single comment that was like this whore Except for that one person you've been thinking about it for a week. Oh this guy fucking He comments he just like He's just like he's up he's the same one it makes it better. It's a woman later

Guys, I actually like and now I'm hyper aware of it. I'm so sorry. It's so fucking annoying I still don't really know I'm so little confused How do you know it's one of the things you can't like say when you're thinking about it women Women it sounds fine to me women women women women women women cool girls like you can be good at certain things but overall you just have to like kind of act like slutty and just let stuff happen to you yeah guys have to like do stuff yeah and last and be good. You know what I mean?

You can just be like, you're allowed to do it this way. You're allowed to put it there. I'll make some noise. I'll like, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you guys don't like have to be like a porn star like on it either. On it? It feels like we have to.

On it. Gee, when I'm thunderclapping on it, it's fucking porn star shit. Bro, I need, Johnny's have a OnlyFans page called Thundercl on it is fucking porn star shit Johnny's have a only fans page called thunder. I was just him clapping his balls. It's not even there's not even me in it It's just you sound it's you can hear a running shower in the background Occasionally the screen shatters Camera shakes camera shakes, Richter scale. You see lights coming through. What are your favorite parts on KFC Radio?

Were you drawing what you see in the shower? The shadow of yourself? It's so funny. It's so, yeah. It's so, I know yeah, it's It's what started to be summer so I'm starting to get some having a fucking deal with shades when I'm showering But what is it you're just like the Sun comes in so perfectly and I it goes through the glass and the glass of the Shower and it just casts this shadow onto the wall, and it's not appetizing It's just like this fucking it's this weird belly with no ass. Yeah, but that's what I mean. You have no ass. Are you growing ass?

I'm growing ass. Because you, you, I gotta, no, bro, notoriously you wear small underwear. Oh yes. No, no, I'm just saying, but that's, yeah, it's been a couple years. Okay, okay, so you've grown ass. I am am double cheat. I get my ass grabbed a lot now. I I get like I get treated like a woman Yeah, I have I have ass Line embarrassing yeah fucking Construction workers always yelling at me. Yeah, I will get like I'll get like Assaulted

Wait fuck I will get like I'll get like assaulted with my ass. I get assaulted with my ass. I'm cheeked up. Um, wait. Oh, fuck. Was this when you were working for us or no? Yeah. Yeah. See, this is so funny. Dude, there's so many funny moments that we got to like get back out there.

You know what I mean? Yeah. That's so fucking funny. I don't remember that. Yeah, I remember. I just I couldn't see it, but you looking at it, like you're holding it up. It's just ridiculous. It's just this disgusting shot.

And that's how I start my day every day, is looking at that. Just looking awful. Like the very first thing I do is get in the shower and just see this pig that I am. Whether you're warming up on the range or sinking putts on the green or just kicking back at the clubhouse, the new Hey Dude Wendy and Wally golf styles have got you covered. Hey, dude I was getting my fucking song this episode

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Get your Hey Dude, throw him at paths, he'll dodge him. He'll move. He will drive. Yeah, if you focus you can hit him still. Heydude.com slash golf. We gotta do a make good for them. I don't wanna, we're having a very fun episode, but there was one thing I wanted. Did you guys, did anybody see that video of the girl who went like mega viral?

She got like 50 million views overnight on Twitter talking about her love language is not having to ask. What? Anybody see that? No, probably not. You guys have like cool internet, I have lame internet. What is? It's a girl, she's saying her love language

is not having to give instructions to her husband and not having to ask her husband to do things, which is a pretty standard thing, you know? And she said it like almost ruined her marriage and that she was the one working with the kids. She was doing all the work at home, did everything with the kids. She had like four kids under like five and how the husband like not doing his share of the work almost like ruined their relationship and then she told a story like her example was he

he said like okay what do you need me to do and she was like if you could make sure the dishes are always done and make sure the garbage is out that would help a lot and he was like all right cool fine and and then the story was, she came down one stairs one day and the garbage had not been taken out. And she texted him like, what the fuck happened? And he was like, I was late for work, I'm sorry. What? Can I see, just try unscrewing it?

Can you do it? Because it's mine from home and I couldn't do it. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Did you get it? No, but I saw you unscrew it on the last episode. I know, and now I jammed it up. That don't know. I don't know what happened yet. It's crazy, right. I know. And now I jammed it up. Jammed up.

And she was like, I ended up being late for work because I had to take the garbage out. And and it's just, you know, just became this big debate online. And I was. I don't want to do this. I think I did last night. I don't want to do this any last time Yeah Again a couple ice cubes in there because it's not shaken properly that is thick that's thick like my

Finalberg cheeks in the shower. I'd go to so does so far as to grab this espresso martini as girthy he has girthy I'm so impressed every time by the way if there's anybody out there who can really froth it up fucking good and if you can do any of those like you know when they like draw like a like a leaf on your Starbucks you know if you can do any of those, like, you know, when they like draw like a, like a leaf on your Starbucks, you know, you can do that with this, draw like a little, a little three or something. Uh, please do so and put it out there. Cause it's good for branding. I think it's, wait, do you guys have a pen? Do you have a pen up there? Marker or anything? I threw my pen when you started talking about clapping. That's the response we want. Why would you I was never my sign for now as you can draw what I think I would do

Do for what like with the phone oh Yeah, you were talking about like you had like a logo in my I think you got bay leaves If you did like this in the phone right here is your cup your cop and then as the phone's coming in you just go Yeah, it's not like three beans sitting up there almost yeah, no, I'm showing the camera Oh, we're gonna do it like well. This is just for you guys Okay, yeah, we're gonna further I think there's also I have like a little cocktail kit at home And it has this little like liquid that is like makes anything extra frothy

It's like you don't need to put an egg white in like this does it for you So maybe I'll put that in there you know what's funny you saying the egg whites is I when we were talking earlier about like Being mixologist and all that stuff and I went through a little phase of that, you know And people were doing the sourdough bread, I was becoming a mixologist during a pandemic and I was whipping up a lot of egg beaters. Really? I was doing all my drinks were with the egg,

like gin fizzes and stuff like that. And that was quite lit. Yeah, get creative with it. Not even necessary. You don't even need to, but I'm saying if you wanted to, you know, or use that that it was like little frothing Maybe like if you have a little stencil you could do cinnamon. Yeah Right, right. Get cute with it. Get cute with it. Thank you

anyway, but I was just this this woman I was just saying like I Just had to represent for the men one time because obviously yes You need to do your fair share of work. Everything should be split. And it can be a drag on a marriage when it feels like it's not. But I like. I think sometimes guys will run into situations where it's like. I want to help, but like it has to be done your way. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And if it's not done your way way then like you're mad at it So then guys will often be like alright I'm just gonna like let her do it or be told how to do it because when I do things It's not good enough or not done the right way or not done in the time frame you want it to be done and all that sort of shit right like that guy would have come home and throwing the garbage out and I understand that you wanted the garbage to be taken out then and there, but some shit happened and it didn't work out.

You were late to work because you were like, the garbage has to be thrown out right now. It's like, just go to fucking work. And the guy will come home and take the garbage out then. And is it great that there was some garbage in the kitchen for the day? No, but I think that's probably better than you being late to work

and now us being in a colossal fight over this. There's a lot of times I just feel like it's like, I'll do it, but I have my schedule or my way of doing things, and if it doesn't coincide with what you want, now I'm like, I'm wrong, or doing it bad, or whatever. Where it's just like, I don't know. I feel like I would never, you know,

like if it was your job, I've been in situations where it's like, you know, this is technically like supposed to be your job to do this, right? And it doesn't get done, like I don't know. I'll order the groceries, I've been in situations like, you know, this is technically like supposed to be your job to do this, right? And it doesn't get done, like, I don't know. I'll order the groceries, I'll get the groceries. You know what I mean? I just feel like a lot of times guys will just

not call somebody out on it or, and you know, the grace is not extended the other way. I understand there are definitely guys who just don't do a fucking thing and all that, but I think sometimes it's like, you can't be super, she mentioned like, I pack the kids' bags, I do the dishes, and it's like, I feel like a lot of times,

it's like, it has to be done this way, this way, this way, and this way, and when you don't do it that way, then it's a problem. It's like, well, either let me help, and it might not be perfect, or the way you like it, or you gotta do it, you know what I mean? You can't really have it both ways.

I mean, this shit went, I think it was up for a day and got 50 million views. It was like a hot button issue on my Twitter. Yeah, because it was. I got to be honest, that was actually the perfect example of why I can't watch videos. Because I didn't know what you were saying. There was too much happening at one time.

I know. I probably didn't do a good job explaining it. You were shaking. Oh, oh, oh. I actually, as it was happening, I was just like, ding, ding, ding, ding. And I don't think I have, and I've been thinking about it now, I don't think that's ADD. That was the one getting my attention,

because that demands more attention. Sure. I mean, if someone's trying to sell your story like my attention was focused but it was it was focused on the wrong thing but it was the thing that was calling the most them will cause me the most commotion but you know what that's also a good example of it's like I think when girls are telling their guy what to do how to do it when to do it they're probably like listening to the noise in the back like we're dumb we're dopey, you gotta work with us a little bit.

Do you feel that happen to you a lot? Like I feel it happen to me all the time. Where I'm like... You're not paying attention? Where I'm like dude just pay fucking attention. And I'm just like don't? And not only do I not pay attention, I keep fighting with myself in my head going, pay attention. But dude, the thing's bouncing around. I know, but don't listen to that.

But that's also part of it is like, so when you're a man, I forget things all the time. All the time. A girl can tell me a million times to do something and I'm not actively dismissing you. I'm like, okay, I will do that. And then I don't do it. I forget.

Not a good trait to have, can definitely be annoying if you're in a relationship and it happens over and over again, I get that. But it's not coming from a place of like, I don't give a fuck, I'm not doing it on purpose to piss you off, I forgot. And I understand that could be a problem, but also it's like, I think it's probably worse for our relationship

that we're like fighting over this rather than because you think that I'm like ignoring you when it's just like, I forgot again for the four billion time. That's what I was going to say. It gets to a point where it's like, well, you know, you're intentionally forgetting. But but but I mean, yeah, yeah. At some point, you just have to be an adult and like handle your shit. But it's like, I don't know, a lot of shit shit going on and something always seems to slip through the cracks for me It's like I either if I'm it's like it's like I'm Homer Simpson and my brain can only hold so much

Yeah, you know when he's like remember that time I learned how to make wine and I forgot how to drive Like if I'm on point at work And I'm handling shit with the kids like something out at home slips up and if the home is good and the kids are good I forgot something at work, and there's just like but that's like much going on I think that's always fair. I forgot something at work and there's just like, but that's like much going on. That's something always there. I don't want to talk about you, but I think that's fair to eventually be like, well, then one of those things have to go. Yeah. Right.

Like it's not if you're in a relationship, I think it's very big. You have to stop forgetting and then go, I can't. I got this. Have you ever like I don't I just don't. I don't know if this is a man-woman thing or a me thing, like, I just don't ever tell anybody like what they should be doing. No. Ever.

Like, if I were like, hey, can you go get groceries today and you didn't do it and I got home and they weren't there, I would be like, nah, I don't know, she didn't get the groceries. I just would never be like, why the fuck didn't you get, you know what I mean? I just wouldn't do that to anybody. Relationship, coworker, friend.

I mean, I'm just a non-confrontational, passive aggressive, don't confront my feelings idiot. So maybe it is just a me thing, but I just think a lot of conflict grows in relationships from that sort of shit. And I think that might be worse sometimes in the long run than just like, you know, the thing that you're arguing about is come second

to like you're arguing all the time. And that becomes, now I feel like I'm getting nagged or now we're fighting and that shit is almost worse for a relationship than the chores itself or whatever. Yeah, yeah, I will say like a lot of my TikTok is kind of like what you're saying, like, but from the opposite perspective, or just saying like woman,

like I think a lot of times when they have kids, it's just like. That was was yeah, that was that shit Women Okay, women. Oh my god. I don't know why I can't do it. You should do I also can't Chipotle and Chipotle I can't remember. Okay. Yeah, right. Oh, it's Chipotle, but two people do Chipotle Hey, but by the way, just say fuck it I say woman just do it. That's your thing. Fuck you guys. Yeah, but like I Shouldn't somebody commented they were like I love Jackie, but it is a sign of low intelligent, but I know that you're smart

but I was like But then why even comment that like I was that was tough to drop it's a salad low intelligent. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's like no, but you didn't even get it. You didn't even get it. You said low intelligence, not intelligence, which is a sign of low intelligence. No, no, you said it's a sign of low intelligence. Look, you could have said what you said, the microphone will hear it. What did it over here on this side of the room? It did not sound like that. And I also never claimed to have high intelligence. That is true. Everyone calls us dumb. Did I say I was smart?

Or are you tuning into the Genius podcast? Fuck you. I think you might be reading too many comments. I am, for sure. I know you read them reading too many comments. I am, for sure. What do you think? I feel like, I feel like. But I know you read them, so it's like. Yeah, and I know, and everybody does. I'm not throwing stones here, but I just want you to be aware that like, fuck.

But that was concerning. It's only that one guy, which can I, do I permission to block him on the account? Yes! Oh, thank God. No, you need every single follower. I know, I know, I know. Of course you can block him.

But if like, honestly guys, like, I try not to step in very often. But if you're spending a week thinking that people are thinking one thing because of one comment, you just have to read the comments. I feel like I only call the bad comments. I'm so grateful. Most of them are so nice to me. Of course.

But that's always the way, is you focus on the negative and kind of take the good for granted. And that's not a good thing. We try to focus on the opposite. But that's just how it goes. And that's not a good thing. We try to focus on the opposite, but that's just how it goes. And everybody reads comments and people say they don't, they don't, except for Johnny's like the only one. But I just want you to know that, you know,

you don't have to and you shouldn't and don't let it bother you. And fucking Horizons, whatever your motherfucking bitch ass name is, you're getting blocked. You're gone bitch, you're gone! You're gone bitch! Hey!

Yeah. Start blocking more people. Block any of them. Block all, block all. I want all. There's like 250,000 followers, block all. Stop it! Stop it! Yeah. Um. Start blocking more people. Block any of them. Block all. Block all. I want all. There's like 250,000 followers.

Block all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what were women saying on TikTok? Okay, okay. Just to defend women a little bit. Who's been attacking women? Yeah, I'm not attacking. I mean, I'm sure people are gonna take that as like anti-woman, but I don't.

I don't think that, like, I was actually gonna say what you said is very interesting because I feel like I get fed a very like it makes me definitely sad and like not just cuz I hear it a lot we're like women when they have kids like they just end up doing so much of the work but a lot of it is communication and a lot of it is like wanting it done the right way. Yeah. And I feel like I do that because I'm always scared. I feel like people nag me all the time because I'm so like all over the place. I'm always scared to nag people and it leads poor communication with me.

So like I know, I like already can tell it's going to be a problem with my future husband being like, I'm not going to want to ask him and I'm just gonna get so frustrated. Yeah, yeah. Well, and this woman was saying, I don't wanna have to ask, I just want it to be done, which is a classic thing, and I think everybody wants that. But again, you have to either find, marry someone who is like, you're aligned on that shit,

or I'm a night person, so I'll do things at night, or I'm a morning, you know what I mean? You can't delegate and then expect it to be done exactly your way, and if it's not, you get upset by that. See, I actually, I think it's more like, I'm kind of the opposite where I'm like, train me. Like, I'll do it your way, but you have to understand

it's gonna take me a little while to get used to it. But tell me how to do it hold my fucking hand I'll help you and then hopefully I know after that but like you did give me the grace of like I don't know how to do this if you want done. I'll fuck or I do it your way I like being coach coach me up. Yeah, but like give me the grace in this time to right It's not gonna figure out how to immediate. Yeah Right. It's kinda like when people have different love languages, you can't expect the other person to show their love in the way that you need to.

When people say what's my love language, I think it should always be what's your love language. Yeah, how do you show it? How do you like? Yeah, cause it's like, I mean, the other person, you have to communicate both ways, but it should be more like, you should be focusing on how you do what they want,

not how you get what you want. Yeah. that's where I think there's a little bit. It's like Yeah, I just I think there's a lot of times guys can be dopey guys can be forgetful guys do not value same things that women do and and if you're gonna get really upset by that, you probably will end up fighting a lot where it's like, I don't know. I think it goes back more to I just would never,

I would never call somebody out in a way that sometimes I think people get called out in relationships where it's like, well now I feel like I'm attacked, whether I'm right or wrong, now you're just attacking me and I don't wanna be in a relationship where I'm getting berated or nagged or whatever. Even if I'm dead wrong, it's like, but the way that you handled that, you know what I

mean? But that's also like, if you say nothing, you have any fester. So it's like a healthy, you got to have a healthy balance. I don't even know if I like had any kind of point or good point, but it's just suddenly like something that I think about a lot and that I'm like scared for. Yeah, I mean, it's not. Also, I saw a guy who had his own thread in response to this, and she was like, we almost got divorced and we worked through

it and we're good now. And he was like, no, you just don't have four infants anymore. Like your kids are older and life got easier. And that's, I think, also important part is during that period of time that she's describing, they were married, they were together for 15 years and had four kids under five, shit's gonna suck. And you gotta make it through that.

And I think probably sometimes, and again, if it's every single time, and there's a repeated pattern where it's like you're disregarding my feelings, all that is a problem. But it's like you're disregarding my feelings. All that is a problem. But it's probably better in some instances to be like, he'll take the garbage out later rather than like causing a fight right now because we're already drowning.

Yeah. Even on a good day, shit is so fucking hard. So like let some shit slide. But obviously what this woman was describing was a much more like longer pattern of like, oh, fuck. But Kate just talked about this in TikTok, like her experiencing it. I don't. Was that about the like,

hate like how some moms make it look easy, that TikTok? No, it was like after that, honestly, I mean like, she said it, so I don't think it needs to be taken out, but she was like kind of calling Pat out, just being like, a lot of the responsibility has fallen on me

and it's like built up this resentment a little bit because he. But I, and then I, you know, everyone has their own situations, but it's like, I would think, I would say two things. I think there's a lot of times there's a lot of shit that guys might be doing that are, it's not getting vocalized or whatever,

they're taking on a lot of the burden. And I also think even if things are bad, in general, I think dads and husbands and shit right now are probably more active in those ways than ever. So not saying that it's good or we're equal at this point, but it's probably the best it's ever been right now in terms of that stuff. So at least it's trending in the right direction,

but I'm sure case to case, person to person, it can be a very different story. But boy, that was a big fight on the internet. On like lame old person internet. Can I get back to those funny jokes on black Twitter and porn stars, please? Said I love language fights on the internet, god damn. Dude, it is actually funny seeing the internet.

I go check at night it is Just like we've been busy recently during the day. So I'm not spending as much time on Twitter as I usually do with that separation You like I kick off Twitter like 9 p.m. And it is legitimate. It's just like the dog lover me But I was just getting my walk. What the fuck are we? But it's crazy also just like like I realized like what did I do maybe a couple days ago? There was the like the White House Official account tweeted out one of those AI things and it was like racist, but it wasn't I don't remember exactly what it was But it like I cut it on I cut on Twitter and like it was everywhere and I was like, oh If I just didn't do this, I would have no idea this happened right?

Not a thing Like I was like, oh we're all and I instantly had like that activation mode like alright What do we think and I was like, oh, it's it's a picture. It doesn't affect anything at all. Yeah I'm just gonna go back to the leaf. Yeah. I'm just going to go back to bed. Totally fake. Also, we really have reached a point where everybody's internet is different. It's almost like going to a restaurant. Like, how was your steak? Right. Your steak's different from my steak. Like, we're at the same restaurant, but your experience, Oh, I hated that meal. Oh, mine was the best meal I've ever had.

That is the internet now. It's like, how was your internet today? Eh, undercooked, underwhelming. Oh, mine was amazing. The, uh, you saying about the restaurants just remind me of this. I forget if I've said it on the show. I've, my buddy told me a while ago. Um, but I was talking about it recently. Still holding. It's mom smoking the cigarette. Still holding. Um, the, uh, my buddy, uh, said that if he's not going to have one of the best meals he's ever had in his life He'd rather dinner be a fucking disaster and I was like, you know what?

I have like a story or something. Yeah, like, you know what? You're a hundred percent, right? Like if you do one of my favorite meals I've had in a long time I don't think were you still there that I don't know if anyone was still there in Vegas before we went to summer slam we had a lunch slash dinner with like some barstool people who like really salespeople in LA and It was it was there was no one's fault. You know, I remember telling me about this. It was there Yeah, yeah, I've ever had in my yeah the most fun I've ever had and I think that rule of like if it's not gonna be a truly great meal There's a lot of five if it's not gonna be a truly great meal. It better be a fucking mess

More interesting to talk about afterwards than like how was your steak? Oh, it's pretty good. Yeah, don't give me that Yeah, I got no podcast It had footprints in it because the chef was stepping on it. It was Mexican, right? Yeah, it was Mexican. Were you there? Yeah, I was there. And we got a bunch of pictures of margaritas out.

Awful margaritas. I remember at dinner, at the meal, we were like, it was going so bad that we were convinced Erica had rented the restaurant and was pranking me. We were like, she's going to pop out at some point and be like, what's up, guys? Because it was like, we were going to the WWE thing. So we thought there was some Erika connection.

We were like, she's got to be here watching this. A waiter is going to go through the table or something. The waiter sat down at our table and just hung out with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. Like, before he even took an order, just sat down. I was like, what's up, guys? We're like, what is going on, dude?

Can you get us some margaritas, please? It was crazy. It was crazy. That's kind of how I feel about anything. it like I hope this this TV shows either good or yeah Yeah, you know this comedian is hilarious or blah Give me something to talk about well speakers of the talk about Bert Kreischer on this show I I would I would argue you know it's hard these days to have like a first time ever in podcasting history But I think this might be the first time a podcast is exclusively about dead dogs

Martinis unveiling a martini and dead dog. Can we can we title this one just dead dogs? Okay, I forgot Okay, I forgot. Sorry. I don't think that was the most us thing ever. That was so weird, dude. That was so weird. I honestly, it was, I just checked my phone to see what time it is. I remember, I forgot we have a meeting at three. I saw it was nowhere near three and just decided I have to pay. I do. I've had to pee for like a half hour and it was, that was bad. That was, I'll give you that. I'll give you that. He looked at his phone, freaked out, said I have to pee. And then immediately said, he said, I have to pee. I don't have to pee.

Bro, in one breath. That was some American psycho. Like, I have to return to video. Like what was on that? I was panicked. I was like, fuck, we missed the meeting. And then I saw it wasn't. And so I like relaxed. And then I was like, well, you know what? was like, fuck, we missed the meeting. And then I saw it wasn't. So I relaxed. And then I was like, well, you know what? Now's a good time for a pee break. And then you ratted yourself out like, no, I don't have to pee anymore. That was crazy. That was like psycho behavior. I don't know why it didn't truly...

It's just a call we have at three that like... I don't know why I freaked out about it. Did we have a call? It's just like not even close to three. I know. I forget what you.... Did we get a call? It's just like not even close to three. I know. I forget what you... Oh, you were talking about birth people.

And I just like saw a call. Martini was shaking. Well, we're done anyway. Let's get into it. Martini's, Dead Dogs, let's go. I'm going to be using a I'm going to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a Thanks for watching!