KFC Radio - Dan Soder Talks Hair Transplants, Billions and WrestleMania - Full Episode

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 00:02:31 Captain Cons crashes the show 00:10:02 Frank the Tank almost burned down Feits' apartment 00:28:17 Dan Soder Interview 00:36:53 You never forget the best athlete in school 00:40:40 Lebron and Deon Sanders are just THAT good 00:44:34 Soder's giant head 00:47:13 Soder got Hair Tits 00:57:24 Acting on Billions made him realize how much he prefers comedy 01:02:22 Jay Leno's eyepatch 01:02:42 Jay Leno eyepatch picture: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/jay-leno-performs-eyepatch-falling-184003678.html 01:03:35 Conan O'Brien is one of Soder's favorites 01:06:35 Soder doesn't want kids 01:12:39 being bad at sports makes you cool 01:21:29 NBA in season tournament 01:25:13 WWE and the Vince McMahon Documentary 01:30:15 The Bill Burr Show that changed him and Nate Bargatze 01:31:05 Post Bonfire life ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by Jackpocket: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Tommy John: Go to https://tommyjohn.com/KFC for 30% off sitewide Hello Fresh: Get 10 FREE meals at https://HelloFresh.com/freekfc. Applied across 7 boxes, new subscribers only, varies by plan. Express: Find all you need this holiday season at https://www.express.com using code SADBOYSZNYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We got to address it. Now it's great content. Now it's great content. Captain Cons came in. He was grabbing some things from the studio.

Bad timing because we were about to just start recording. What o'clock? Well, yes. But then we decided we were going to do a little bit before Soder came here. So, yes, you're right. But then I said, are you sticking around? I meant like the office. I said, we got to record.

And then you were like, oh, yeah? And you just sat down. Come to the microphone. We got to talk about social mores. Social fucking cues. Yeah, this is Tons' real house right here. Yeah, yeah. So that was crazy.

Crazy. Now, wait. That was absurd. Let me be fair. He texted me saying, are you going to be in the studio? He actually said, I don't want to interrupt. So to be fair, he said that. And I said 1 o'clock because that's when Soder here but then john was like let's do a little bit beforehand

so you're you are in the clear there but then you are sitting here i say we're about to record you're like okay cool i said are you going to be around and you said yes and then you just sat in the studio well which i guess we got a couch there right what's the true you were gonna kind of do something quickly and you were knocking something out okay and you didn't want me to leave like you had something to say to me which is probably just wishful thinking on my part but i like walked in i got my t-shirts i didn't want to just like leave like i was like hey what's up guys you know so here we are yeah no that's fair play that's fair play i feel like i earned the right

to to say hello to my buddy yeah yes yes but you can't just like yeah sit on the couch it's a couch but it's not like i sat on that couch no well that would be fucking i sat on the crazy off camera i don't know if you if you were just to be like i'm gonna be on this this little segment now that might be more reasonable than to just sit there in silence. Dude, I don't even want to say this out loud, but if you were just like, I'm on the show now. Anyone in New York, if they just showed up and were like, I'm on the show now. Okay, we can't do that. Well, while we have you here, real quick, we did bring up the Dave, the evisceration of Dave and then your challenge.

Right. And I think the exact words you used were like, I asked you, can you run in the sixes? bring up the uh the dave the the evisceration of dave and then your challenge right and i was i think i the exact words you use were like i asked you are you can you run in the sixes yes yes you don't know exactly what six six what but you were like but against him i will be you know one second faster than whatever he needs to be like i will not lose to him yeah i mean no matter what it is i'll just find something deep down inside to prevent me from losing to someone of that stature it's like when you say that are you talking literally physically figuratively everything everything will will smith has that has a quote where it was like it was like i'm not better

looking than you i'm not stronger than you i'm not smarter than you i'm not funnier than you but if you get on a treadmill next to me you're getting off first or i'm dying yes and i think like you either have that inside you or you don't and i have that because when i said on the episode like you know in the army you have to get tested twice a year and do a two mile test and my best time ever was what it was yeah it was it was like 11, low 11. 11 minutes, 9 seconds. That's fast. That's like, you know, 5 and change. The reason I did that was because I had one of my soldiers behind me,

and there was no way I was going to let one of my soldiers beat me. I had to win. But to be fair. For the record, that's 20 years ago. Yeah. For the record, I think you win this 100% easily. But I do think 20 years ago is a difference. Oh, my gosh. I don't run that fast anymore.

I say that much because that's really cool. If you're talking about running in the sixes versus the fives, there is a difference there. But it's not like you're talking like you can run an eight now. You still got to go fucking fast. No, no, no. It's still basically a sprint. Yeah. No, I did a sprint the other day just to make sure I was in good shape.

Well, that was my main thing is we have so many people here who just say things like they're 18 years old. Yeah, yeah. yeah no i did a sprint the other day just to make sure i was in good shape well that's that i that was my main thing is we have so many people here who just say things like they're 18 years old yeah it's like i bet you could do that once upon a time but until you you know you haven't got off the couch in 20 years right so you have you have tested it you know right yes and it's not like i just all of a sudden are you gonna like run like you run and then i run or like you're gonna run like together no we absolutely have to be racing. Right. It's not like, because the other thing that Dave, I don't think, realizes, and I don't

know why I'm even saying this and giving him an advantage. He does all this on a treadmill. When you run on a treadmill. That was another great part of it. He's like, I'm outside. I'm on the pavement. When you do a treadmill. It doesn't work for you.

Exactly. So he thinks he has his optimal speed going and i think he's in for a rude awakening unless now he all of a sudden for the next month is that actually true i mean i can understand the idea of the butt like yes it forces because either you run or you fall down yeah yeah right right so it's a it's a mental thing because when you're running on the pavement but wouldn't that you have to tell your body to do something oh Oh, right. Yeah, okay. There's nothing doing it for you. Right, right, right. But he's an idiot. He'll just think he's better and faster.

He is. What if he wins? He said Kingslayer. Between the Rocket beating him with the speed pitch, and then if he beats you in a race, he's going to call Dave the Kingslayer. I didn't say I'm going to call him that. I'd say he'd have a right to.

He could call him that. I'm not calling White Sox saying Dave the Kingslayer. I didn't say I'm going to call him that. I'd say he'd have a right to. He could call him that. I'm not calling White Sox Dave the fucking Kingslayer. I'm just saying. Who gave Jared that nickname? Himself. Exactly. Exactly. We couldn't remember the story, but there was one time I think he either beat White Sox

Dave in a speed throw or just I was at a game and I had a higher mile per hour than you did when you threw at yours. There was never, I don't know if it was a one-on-one, but there was at one point he had, I think the top speed of the company. And then he took the ball and we all know what happened there. We don't have to talk about it. It was the death of one of my friends, but that was a crazy move. So you were confident enough though that I was like, this guy must know that he could still run like a six-something mile.

What I was going to say was it's not like I haven't worked out since I left the Army. I've never stopped working out now. Do I work out the way I did when I was in the Army and doing things every day? No, but I still work out three to four times a week. I'm still running consistently. That'll do. That'll do. If you've been working out three to four times a week for the last 20 years,

then I think. And I'm not boasting. But I was going to say, Dave is a little bit. He is better than, I think, when you look at Dave, you don't think much. But he is able to do more shit than you would realize. Certainly. He's got a little bit of the Mickey Mouse. I don't think this is a situation where I'll beat him by two minutes.

Right. But, again. You think it'll be like a photo finish, though? No. You think it'll be... Yes. I'll be out in front enough that I'll be able to run backwards. And you don't think he has it in him to hit an extra gear?

Collins is 50 yards ahead of me, but I'm just going to fucking go all out even if I puke. If he had that gear, he would have made it higher than D3. He got the D3 gear. track power i got it yeah got the d3 all right all right good shit get the fuck out of here um we got dan soda coming in um it'll we'll get to him in a minute um but before that we were we were uh i was laughing at the the footage that came out of i guess it's frank's tank cooks frank frank cooks is the series right yes and he's doing a thanksgiving sort of thing um i mean you know i could have told you your house was going to burn down on that that's are like, why did you let him do that?

So that would happen. That's funny. He's the man who cooked a rack of ribs at 700 degrees for 45 minutes. That's, by the way, one of my favorite videos ever. I laugh every time when he goes, it's fucking charred. And then he looks at the camera, and there's a long enough pan, and then it just goes back. You can tell that he's got a content brain going,

being like, I need to say something, but I don't know what to say and I don't know what to do. And then they just look back at the ribs. It's so fucking good. So when I saw that Tank is back at it, he also even says, i thought it was a miss miscommunication he's like oh we're gonna put that back in there for 45 minutes and whoever was filming i think it was devlin maybe whoever it was at one point when you see

the full video zooms in on the on the temperature being 700 degrees like knows what's going on i'm just like there was no way i was gonna say anything and just let him look that second look back it's so long it's so long it's it's great man so i knew yeah we knew what was going on here you're not you're not sending you know bobby flay into your house and it goes back to him again that's what's unbelievable so yeah that was the people in the office yesterday were like like what do you think is gonna happen happen? I was like, exactly that. Like, what are you talking about? Like, I let them into my apartment at 9, 930. Also, let me just interrupt. For the people, like, we are well beyond needing to use people's apartments.

We rent spaces, kitchens. Yeah, I don't know why they asked me to use my apartment. Yeah, maybe for this funny part. But, like, you know, there was a time where it would be like, we need a kitchen. Oh, you have, like, the biggest apartment, the closest apartment the closest apartment can we use yours yeah we're beyond that so we don't need to do this at all i think we have stoves in the office yeah like he's he's cooked in here before so maybe this is all a setup but but i i let him in at like 9 9 30 and i went to the gym and then i came back i walked in like literally unlocked my door, opened the door, and it was that.

Janks was throwing his coat. Frank's screaming. You got to get control of the situation, Frank. Dude, smoke as far as I could see in my house. It was legitimately the Donald Glover meme. I opened the door. I was like, what the fuck? Again, I expected it, but then living it is a whole new thing.

What the fuck is happening? We got equipment we got bad equipment dude it was like i think it's i think the stool scenes cameras got me uh like opening the door but i'm interested to see what my face was like like i i i i could be like shocked or i could be smiling knew it was going to happen. I don't know what the answer is. But then I just left again. Yeah, you were just like, finish up? I just, I went to the gym. I let them in. I went to the gym.

I came back. I showered. I came to work. Yeah, okay. That's not weird, right? People at the office are like, what do you mean you just left in there? They didn't ask me to be in the video. They asked me to use the apartment.

Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. I wasn wasn't gonna sit in my apartment with fucking 10 people in there it's a nightmare also it's a fucking forest fire i don't even think i think i would have turned right around not even done the shower and shit i would have been just like you know i'm out of here also we know uh if you're ever in a fire situation jackie is absolutely useless just laughing you look at you don't know how to flap the thing the jacket's right she just no because like the issue was that it was like

onions like it was hot boxing onions and so your eyes are like stinging you like can't see you see everyone's like not doing all that

so it's like if it's a fire the fire was fine the onions was where I stopped the fire was fine I'm not

it's like an onion why was there fire he just fucked up again I somebody did It was fine. Why was there fire? He just fucked up again? He was yelling something about the government. Oh, sure, sure. I was thinking somebody commented, like, that oven is not clean. And I was like. Surely not.

Yeah. I was like, there's probably just some grease or some leftover shit. You think I've cleaned my oven before? When I saw that, I was like, there is some HelloFresh ingredients at the bottom of that oven. The turkey's cooking fine, but on the actual burner part, there's something just sizzling and smoking. It definitely wasn't that dirty. I don't use my oven that often. My other thought, though, is that you don't even use it.

It surely hasn't been.'ve never it was it was like the the pan leaked and there was and he put like seven sticks of butter in this thing and then it was a turkey yeah yeah and then and like the stuffing and then all did you guys eat it i i did not eat it people ate it though people ate it though did it end up looking okay or no i mean it, it was fine, but Frank was like, oh my god, it felt perverted watching it because it was this turkey and then Frank put this thing. Shout out to Call Her Daddy. I was going to say, we should do a fucking stitch. Side by side. No, I literally said, I was like, I think that this is more perverted than the Call Her Daddy one.

So what was the scene like afterwards? The scene after was not good the scene after was the scene after was i i got home i was obviously i've been telling you about it already uh like i i had a long day not a late day but a long day and i got home and i was so excited to just chill and it was i can't decide how crazy it was. Did you take any pictures? I didn't take any pictures. But it was, like, there were dirty dishes in the sink. There were food-covered rags on the kitchen counter.

There were utensils on the counter, dirty pans on the stove, food on the table, chairs in random places. That's about as dirty as it can get. That's all the surfaces there. all the surfaces were very dirty and but like i don't want to make a bigger deal out of it than it was like it took me like 20 minutes to clean up 20 minutes to a half hour not the end of the world that's pretty long though when you get home from a long day yeah and you're like also like but but legit like cleaning up is one of those things you don't want to do it but usually you do it and it takes like five minutes yeah like to do the dish like put the dishes in the sink or in the dishwasher takes like 90 seconds you know so it's one of those things where you're like oh i you know

but so if you're cleaning for like a good like half hour that's a fucking that's a dirty ass kitchen and like now my kitchen is cleaner than it was when I woke up that morning. So ultimately, it's a good thing. Yeah. But it was like coming. It was like I was for a half hour. I was fucking bullshit. Like really, really fucking pissed. Yeah. And then I was also the principal. It's not really.

It's like someone returning your car on empty. I can handle this. It's not that big of a deal for me. Fuck you. But you're a fucking shithead. Yeah. it's like i can handle this it's not that big a deal for me but you're a fucking shithead yeah and i was like i i after i got done cleaning and showered and sat down i finally was like who are you really mad at here john like everyone acted exactly i think jackie no no jackie's the only one who texted me like sorry like jackie knew before it even happened and and and okay here's

the thing is like the whole time frank was just like well i mean where do you and i were just cleaning up after frank like we were just like his little like like bitches the whole time and like frank like would just use like he had no regard for anything like he would just like put a hot pan down no on no regard for anything but he would like put a hot pan down on your like wooden thing and i was like frank like stop like whatever he would like, put a hot pan down on your, like, wooden thing. And I was like, Frank, like, stop. Like, whatever. He would, like, use utensils. We would be cleaning them. He would just use them again just to, like, push stuff around.

We'd be like, fine. Okay, like, we'll clean that again. So we're, like, constantly cleaning up after him. He finishes, like, the everything. And then all of a sudden, like, he decides we have to go immediately before, like, everything, like, consolidates or whatever. And, like, stop. It gets cold. So then I'm trying to like finish

like last night i was like we got i feel like we should like clean john's apartment and she is like also like helping with that too and then everyone's like we gotta go we gotta go so but then so but i was trying and then even like i was like should i take out the trash i was like don't take out the trash i'm gonna take out the trash don't take out the trash actively we're like leave the garbage it's one thing if you like forgot to clean up it's another thing to be like no no we're like leave the garbage it's one thing if you like forgot to clean up it's another thing to be like no no we're leaving without cleaning don't worry come on come with us and that like again that's where i was like thinking myself i'm like what john you're surprised frank fleming doesn't care about other people yeah like yeah it was like like oh okay none of you respect me

understood yeah but but for real because it's like i hate that shit because it's like if that was dave porto's apartment that would not happen it would not but it like i i really i really like jackie texted me jackie was like the person in the back seat of the car who was like yo that was fucked up we didn't get gas for you so like you're all good yeah no but i still feel that like i should have spoken up no you're like you're i'm not to explain it away for you, but you're a junior member on the team. You're getting forced out by the talent. I don't fault you. But Nick, Frank, and I guess since Frank's not responsible for anything about himself,

Jenks are all significantly on my shit list. I don't want to blame Jenks because it's like, but Jenks has taken on the role of Frank's keeper. You signed up for this. You're his dad. I can't yell at the kids, so I have to yell at you. Yes, that's basically what it is.

You've chosen this life, and so now that happens. Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. That is crazy. I'm actually, I haven't put myself, if that happened to me, I would be going nuts. Dude, I was storming.

It was like I gave myself lockjaw, like storming on my property. Because it is, it's like it's like an honest mistake that they're not doing it like, they're not trying to piss you off, but it's like, but yeah, you don't respect me. Clearly you don't respect me enough to do this you know yeah i mean what else is new right

it is like yeah like i'm not surprised but you know i it's just like yeah honestly i honestly i keep saying i wasn't surprised i was surprised i was surprised i was like wow okay and it's like guess what never Never again. Don't ever ask me for anything again. Certainly not using my apartment. You know, you're not using my car. Don't ask for my help. Like, no.

Fuck that. It was a no brainer to let him use your apartment. I don't know. When people asked me again beforehand, like, why are you letting them do this? I'm like, I don't know. They asked if they could use it. I assume. If you ask for something, I assume you need it.

So I do a really candle comedy. I think you would be the asshole to say no without a reason but now you have a reason right you know the next person that comes even if it's not like frank uh you'd be like ah yeah i don't know last time this happened you know unless that person swears up and down they're they're not going to do it it's like nope yeah you know eventually sometimes uh you know a lot of things in life you you just you have a rule after something like this. You know? Even if it's not the same people or the same situation, it's just like, I don't know, I've done this a couple times, and every time it doesn't work, so no, I don't do it anymore.

It's not your fault. You're paying for the sins of the people before you, but no. No one's using my apartment until the next person asks. That's for a goddamn sure. I'll tell you that no i just you know whatever we've never been you know we're always kind of on our island doing our thing and it was i was thinking about it like the yankees thing remember the yankee stream like that was i was gonna say the chinese food the end of the world yeah yeah it was probably worse than

the chinese food the yankees guys left just like trays and trays of catered Chinese food out after a Yankees stream. And Dave went like ballistic. Then I started being a motherfucker too. Then I was like, well, now I'm going to look for shit. And like a lot of turkey on the floor, a lot of green beans on the floor. It's like, well, is that Sour Patch Kids? Some of these things might have been here but not the turkey yeah this should for sure be again all in all it went exactly how i should have expected it to go yeah yeah they like i should it's

anything i'm surprised about is my own fault yeah why didn't why did you think that would go different totally totally but you know but the flip side is like well because it was you know a Anything I'm surprised about is my own fault. Why did you think that would go differently? Totally. But the flip side is like, well, because it was a bunch of adults. But adults who you know how they act. Correct. So you should be able to plan for what's going to happen. Frank is like, you cannot expect. Yeah. Like, you don't.

Everyone who's listening to this knows who Frank Fleming is for situations like this, not because of his concern for other people. I love Frank the Tank, the way he was so respectful to those co-workers. Literally, he's never been respectful of anybody ever. Not at baseball games, not in offices. He is not respectful of people. In public, strangers, friends, like none of it. None of it.

That is his whole thing. Well, yeah, like none of it. None of it. Yeah, that is his whole thing. Well, yeah, surprises me 0%. But, you know, got some funny. I mean. Got funny clips. Yeah, got funny clips out of it. Right. I don't even know what, you know, the final product will look like.

I think probably the video of them fanning the flames will probably do better than the product itself. But that's why you do these things it's like I don't actually want to see the turkey bro I want to see the fucking you know that was like when I tried to rally the New York office to do that like content draft the idea was we have captains of the teams and everybody

drafts like three or four members of New York and then those people have to have a month to make a video and we compete so you can make the best video and make and get the most views and then we can either you can trade or you can redraft or whatever and like within five seconds people were fighting why didn't you draft me I whoever was picked last like took their name and switched it so it looked like they weren't drafted last there was just all sorts of fucking drama that I was like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about... Hopefully the end videos are good. But people being like,

clicking up, and why didn't you draft me? Or like, you did draft me, and now we hate each other. That's where the good stuff comes out. So it's like, I don't give a fuck about the turkey. Million people cook turkey on Thanksgiving. I re-upped my insurance last week. Do whatever the fuck you want in there.

Alright, get into it. Dan it dan soda let's do it tommy john is back wow an old friend so this is like it's like meeting up with someone from high school tommy john is like an og og and they really are my favorite briefs yeah i was like back in the system some of the best underwear i've ever worn and i i actually i go beyond tommy john underwear because that's how you know i'm i'm a real motherfucker everybody thinks the tommy john's underwear i got the lounge pants i got the t-shirts because you know me listen if i if i co-sign something as being comfortable or cozy it's the real fucking deal so this holiday season season, be the GOAT, the greatest gifter of all time. Wouldn't that be the G-GOAT? The G-GOAT?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the GOAT, Tommy John. It's the G-GOAT. The G-GOAT. It feels good to give, but it feels great to give Tommy John because you really will, especially if there's someone in your life,

if it's your dad or someone who's like kind of old school. It's any man. Even myself, I take care of my clothes one layer down. I was going to say, most guys, especially if you're like set in your ways, you're like the Gaz's of the world who are still in their boxers or you got the holes and you haven't updated or upgraded. And then all of a sudden you put on a new pair of these like fucking revolutionary. They like make them in some sort of like scientific lab or some sort of special cotton. It's like, whoa, this will change your life. I don't know where this ad is going, but I'm guessing it's going to go after we talked about everyone ruining my apartment.

I cleaned it so well for them that I took a pair of briefs that i was just thrown away they were just because they were old they were just old it wasn't anything crazy just old briefs i took it out of the trash because i was like i can't have them seeing i'm throwing away underwear they're gonna think it's some weird shit's happening i clean i clean i'm just proud of you for throwing out underwear i cleaned my fucking trash before they came over and then they just took it and dumped it out with 20 million pairs of underwear sold thousands of five-star reviews uh giving tommy john is a holiday tradition so uh this this holiday give tommy john the pants the shirts not just the underwear people will love it i guarantee it go to tommyjohn.com slash kfc right now 25 off your

order and you know what? Yeah, do the whole gift giving. Just get it for yourself. Yeah. Give the gift to yourself. Fuck other people. Treat yourself. Treat yourself.

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Hellofresh.com slash free KFC. Are you a big Nuggets guy? Yeah. I mean, Jokic. So are Denver team I fuck with. We were just talking about how. Because I'm Niners, Nuggets, and Giants, San Francisco Giants, and Bruins. I'm all over the place.

You're all over the place. But you matter. You matter. Yeah. I didn't give a fuck about hockey. And all they do is care about hockey. They are like... And you know that.

In Boston, you're like a Red Sox family, a Patriots family, a Celtics family, or a Bruins family. Like Joe List's whole family, Bruins. Right. And he's a big Sox guy too, though, no? Big Sox guy. Katie's a big Sox girl, but... But priority. The big event for Thanksgiving is is me katie her brother

uh sister-in-law we're going to the bruins game on black friday on on tuesday we're going before the the black friday game i honestly don't even know if it's still a thing that was a big thing yeah they like katie's dad had like talk the guys it next to him to be like my fucking kids are coming can we have your seats for a game? So we're all going. So I'm excited about that. And I'm like, that's the most I feel like a girl cheering for sports.

Yeah, you don't know what's going on. It's because I'm like, who's the bad guy? Dude, I'm like that with soccer. I like pasta. Yeah, that's what I do. Soccer, I always say, I watch like a girl.

It's very emasculating to be like, I have no clue what's going on. Bro, the first time I was at a live hockey game and they pulled the goalie, I was like. Why are you doing it? I was like, that's open, guys. What are you guys doing? That's open. You fools.

I'm new to this and I see this. Yeah, I, because, like, I don't fault people when they don't know football that well. Like, if you don't know ball and you're just trying to enjoy it, I get it. Because that's the problem with sports fans. Sometimes they go too into it. And they're like, you thought a cover two was going to stop that? And you're like, what's a cover two? Explain to me what a cover two is, you fuck. It's like, I don't know shit about hockey.

So I'm legitimately trying to learn. It's a hard one to learn. It's so fun, though. It never stops. You know what? Don't. Just watch it. That's what i'm right

because i also i i did the same thing with the islanders a little bit i adopted them for like a little bit like 10 years ago and i was like i'm not gonna be a psychopath about this i'm just gonna like they played the rangers and i and i was able to like i just kind of like tapped into like my mets yankees thing yeah fuck the rangers and then but then when they lost i was like okay whatever i just i'm not gonna be an absolute fucking loser psychopath about it i have an like my Mets-Yankees thing. And I was like, fuck the Rangers! But then when they lost, I was like, eh, okay, whatever. I'm not going to be an absolute fucking loser psychopath about it. I have an unhealthy emotional connection to the San Francisco 49ers. Absolutely. It's a mental illness.

I have an unhealthy, like, it... Changes who you are. Dude, we were at... Are we recording this? Okay. Fuck it, I'll tell this story. Because I don't think i'll ever fucking see this guy again and this so i went to the dolphins game oh i guess the raiders on sunday

right i was working in tampa drove to fort lauderdale haven't seen mcdaniel all season wanted to kick it got a hotel till monday was like i never see the guy childhood friends by the way for my yeah my best friend one my oldest, my oldest friend, him and my friend Byron. I got to see both of them in Florida this weekend. And that was the crew. It was like us three. They're my oldest friend and he coaches the Dolphins.

So go Fins, right? We go to the game. They win. Fuck, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. His wife's brother and all of his boys go to the game. Fine. They were very nice. One of them got blackout in the boys go to the game. Fine. They were very nice. One of them got blackout in the box, in the suite.

Fine. Whatever. I don't care. I'm eating edibles. I'm having a hell of a fucking time. I'm having a hell of a time. We go back to McDaniel's house. McDaniel's like chilling.

Everyone's like, it's basically like a party. I felt bad for him. Like this guy's coached the game and then he's like,'s like a party at his house yeah fuck that but they're all from chico like his wife's family's all from chico so they're all like niners fans by proxy and like some of them are this dude is blacked out and he's sitting next to me on the couch and the seahawks start coming back on the niners and i'm like and this guy was not watching the game all right he was not watching the fucking game. I was sitting there, and he's like trying to make small talk.

I'm like, eh. Because the problem with the Niners this season is they cannot close out. We would be 8-2 if we could close out. So the Seahawks start coming back, and this guy's like drunk talking about water slides or some bullshit. And I'm like, yeah, bro. Yeah, I got it. I got it. And then they start coming back, and he notices McDaniel and I are locked into the game. talking about water slides or some bullshit and i'm like yeah bro yeah i got it i got it and then

they start coming back and he notices mcdaniel and i are locked into the game because mcdaniel knows i'm a fucking psycho for the niners and so we're like watching and he's like up up and like gino you know this motherfucker next to me stands up blocking the tv and i'm like hey i don't know this guy so i'm like dude can you move can you move and he's like just and his boys are like yo move you're in the way of everybody this guy's standing in front of the tv as geno smith runs it in to win the game and i was like dude um i just had to i i walked out in their backyard and just sat there by myself because i was like i don't know this fucking guy i don't know what his connection to mike's wife is but i'm about to say some unhealthy shit to him and then when he's like shaking my hand to leave i gave him like

dead hand i was like yeah left hand yeah i was like motherfucker i'll never see and some of them were like we're gonna come see you when you do that theater in san francisco no you don't know you're not i'm gonna make sure i sell that out and you ain't getting a fucking ticket no fuck you you can listen outside like a taylor swift concert sell that out and you ain't getting a fucking ticket. No. Fuck you. You can listen outside like a Taylor Swift concert. You ain't coming into my fucking show. Standing up when fucking the Niners are playing the Seahawks. You fucking asshole. People just don't get it, though.

But that's where I'm unhealthy. Yeah, I was going to say. Everyone nuggets. I'm a little healthier. I'm a little better. Giants stink, so it's all right. But with the Bruins, I'm like, I'm just going to enjoy this. The thing that's hard about becoming a hockey fan later in life,

and I actually think this, is it's like becoming a video gamer later in life. Yeah. You don't have the hand-eye coordination. There's stuff that I don't get. Your eyes can't move fast enough. Aside from football offsides, offsides in soccer and hockey, it does not translate with me.

I'm like, you just go wherever you fucking want to go. The thing I've noticed about offsides in hockey is there's times where I'm like, wasn't that guy, but wasn't he just over the line? And then they're like, do they don't call it? You're like, shut up. You're like, well, I don't know. I don't know. Well, that's the worst part of the new offsides in hockey, too,

where if it is close entering the zone, you're almost hoping your own team doesn't score. because you're like to equivalent it to football is that like a holding call where sometimes like you can almost call it every time if you want to do off sides it's pretty obvious they're pretty good at it but like there's a couple of occasions like skate probably like per season where it's like maybe a little more often than that but it's not super it's not that it's not like holding

NHL refs are the most athletic oh yeah when they're hopping over the pucks and shit like that they're like going backwards and then they do that cool little ass wiggle when they skate backwards

and they go like and then they watch and then you gotta break up a fight every now and then they're just popping ass dude and they fucking

swing your back you ever think what like when an ump got his job described to him after, like, compared to other refs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, yo, can you just tell if this is a ball or strike? And he's like, yeah,

like, from 1,000 feet away? Like, no, he'll be right there. Stay 90 feet, and then if he swings it, go like this. Dude, I saw... I don't have to skate, or, like,

there are one or two guys running on the field. I don't have to worry about linebackers bearing guys running on the field I don't have to worry about linebackers bearing it on me no just like if this comes in right here just say yes or no there's always one

football ref a year who like sprints down the sideline with some guy who keeps up with him basketball you're running like three miles or whatever

yeah those guys are always baseball and like now and those umps they're gonna be computers they're done dude I saw a video

on Instagram the other day. I think I follow this guy. He's like a ump trainer, I guess. And he hosts down in Florida. He has kind of like the equivalent of a hotel conference. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's like lines of guys out on the field. Everybody lines up.

And they all have their hands on their knees. And then he blows a whistle. And they go like, huh up and they all like have their hands on their knees and then he like blows a whistle and they go like they're practicing their form he's like he's like moving their elbows like no no it's a little sloppy there's dudes in their hotel room practicing their strike calls yeah yeah that's not right that's not right come on come on marty yeah dude that's like did you ever have to uh sorry what were you gonna say i was gonna say did you ever like ump when you were a kid no fuck no no no i stunk at baseball i got hit in the ribs when i was like eight and i was like yo this shit yeah it's hard they hear in the box they're like don't do it again that's why i like football because you just hit people yeah like i was like when kids started throwing when you moved to like from coach pitch

to kid pitch there's like two years where it's very easy and then you see that first kid that knows how to throw like heat dude the first i said as soon as people threw breaking balls i was like the ball can move away from my back i'm out out. I'm out, bro. Come on. Shout out Tremaine Rice. Wherever you are, I hope you're safe. That motherfucker had heat and no control. And so you're getting in there, you're like, yeah. And he's like, kink. And you see that backstop. You're like, fuck.

Yeah, dude, I sucked at baseball. I was not good at baseball. It's so funny. I guess it's like the fastest kid in school where everyone remembers the hard kid. Oh kid oh yeah dude our kid i i talk about this kid like too much yeah but like he's gonna reach out to you he's like hey he has reached out really yeah he's like you're obsessed with me blake youngblood dude yeah what a cool name like what a cool mr steal your girl name through for fucking gags dude like it was like i don't even want to play. She's like I can't hang out with you anymore Blake Youngblood and I are hanging out with you. What a cool

fucking name. What's up I'm Blake Youngblood. Dude that guy doesn't even have to drink pineapple for his cum to taste good. He's just Blake Youngblood. He's just Blake Youngblood. He's like I threw 90 when I was 10. I'm fucking this guy's never

had a problem. He goes, you have? Oh, no. He just has like a perfect line under his belly of hair. Like, yeah, everything works out. Everything's coming up young blood. That guy definitely has had a life. And if it's been tough, I'm sorry. I hope you're well. I knew a guy who

played against Kobe in high school. That's nuts. And guarded him. It was like, he guarded him. They guarded each other. And he probably got smoked, but I think he took it to him a little bit. And now I tracked him down on Instagram or whatever. He's just got a regular-ass job with kids and shit. He's like, I played against Kobe Bryant.

Yeah, they never talk about, like, they always do the guy that won. But you're like, the guy that got beat? Cool story. Yeah. It's better, you know know if you obviously want to be the guy who goes on to the nba but if not it's cool like cocktail story you're sitting around you go you know how to guard kobe kobe bryant what yeah right do you know mark in finance yeah mark in payroll right fucking took on kobe it's like you want to be the professional athlete, and then if not, it's like that guy right next to it. Big J, Kobe used to go to this JCC and shoot around in Philly,

and Big J was there. Big J has played pickup basketball when Kobe was in high school. Wow. How old was Big J? He's 46, 47 now. So he was like Kobe's age. Kobe's age, yeah. Yeah, and like Kobe came over from Italy.

He like told me this after years of knowing. And I'm like, why didn't you lead with this? This is fucking crazy. Was Big Jay balling back in the day? I think he was just playing at like a JCC, like just fucking around with kids in high school. And then they were like, oh, this kid from Italy is supposed to be really good. I forget what high school he went to, but they were like was lower marion yeah lower marion and that's kind of where like uh

lower marion was the place where they were like at the jcc that's awesome yeah i think big j is smart to wait to tell that story because if he opens with that you're like you're like this guy's a fucking liar yeah okay yeah michael jordan stopped and shot hoops with me when I was a kid. Yeah, that's like. Imagine Big Jay walked up to you, like, first thing he says, I used to play basketball with Kobe. I used to ball with Kobe. This guy's insane.

You're like, no, you didn't. Yeah, that's got to be. I mean, those are all like those crazy. LeBron, you know what I mean? Like, LeBron's like, the people he played against are full-grown men now. Right. Yeah, in high school, we were on ESPN playing. Right.

What's his name? Comic, Rick Glassman played against LeBron in high school. I knew he could hoop, but I didn't know he was like... Yeah, Rick played against St. Mary's. Wow. Like on ESPN.

Bro, we still, I think, don't talk about how awesome LeBron is. LeBron's amazing. The fact that he was... The pressure that he... Yeah, and then he just delivered and probably over-delivered. The funniest thing is like,

what is a guy like me gonna shit-talk LeBron? Like that guy had so much pressure on him and hit it at every level. Like day one. Went back to Cleveland, won a title. Did everything. Goes like does in everything. Like of course, he's so good.

This is the way I've been looking at the Bronny thing. He's so good. He got his kid on his team in the NBA. Yeah. That's like, you need to talk about that. Deion Sanders is so good at football. He coached his kid, like, with him, like, all the way up the thing. And then he's going to choose what team his kid plays for.

It's nuts. He's going to choose what team his kid's best friend plays for. I mean, that's crazy. What a sleepover. Will that get me drafted? And he's like, yeah, probably. They're so fucking good. That to me...

And they're 7-2. There's a chance they... They're actually good. If it ends right now, they're playing for the Big 12 title against BYU. Right, right. Fucking insane. Which is insane, particularly from the start of this year. I remember watching that Nebraska game. They got blown to fuck.

I was mad. It's over. The magic carburettes coming to an end. If you grow up in Colorado, you hate Nebraska. That's just how it is. You grow up in Colorado, you fuck with the Buffs. That rivalry was so good, and then they moved divisions and it got fucked up.

So I was excited when Deion took over Colorado because you're like, and then they beat Nebraska the first year, and then Nebraska just beat the piss off of them. Beat that ass, dude. But I was hoping that they would meet back up in the playoffs because that would be so fucking special. They both went completely different since then. Yeah, so you used eight and two and nebraska's like i don't

even know if they're 500 yeah it's not going well yeah but that's like that's like a fun thing that's like a rivalry that's a lot of things that east coast people don't understand about college football it's like when you grow up in the middle of the country or in the south college football is very fucking important yeah oh then you come, I came to New York and everyone's like, I'm no ruckus but I ride a couple times. I think it's the other way around. I think I know how much college football means

to them. They cannot fathom that I don't, like Saturday does not mean college football to me. Like I do not watch, I do not care. I do not. This has been my first year probably ever like watching a lot of college and what's weird is like this is the first year that they're doing a 12 team playoff like an actual fucking playoff that might actually help me and that's like for

a lifelong college football fan you're like i'm so excited about this and i don't like arizona's out of the hunt colorado i'll cheer for but. But I'm like, dude, I fucking love it. I remember being in the late 90s when it was like, who were the co-champions? Oh, I mean, growing up in Colorado, 1991 or 1990, their buffs were co-champions with Georgia Tech. They did that a lot. LSU had a title with Boise State. It was like a mid-major. I want to say Cincinnati. There were some random ass teams that would go that UCF went completely undefeated

and they were like but they were just like we're like that one I feel like no one else calls them co-champions except UCF yeah yeah right imagine how mad you would be if you were if you were undefeated and people are like you're not the champs yeah like no one beat us yeah that's why i like fsu last year i got because i went to fsu for a bit oh yeah i kind of know fsu football very but that's what all this shit goes away you have 12 teams that's enough yeah now let's do it yeah now let's see if like a boise state like a mid-major can go all the way and beat right like an ohio state and an oregon you know what i mean if you fucking get yeah i'm i love i love so wait did you play football yeah in high school but you were afraid to play baseball but not football i love smashing that's crazy i love i have a giant head also i just enjoyed

football to me was the right kind of energy it was like yeah there was like bully energy mixed with locker room fun yeah it was just like very very fun and i sucked so i was just a funny kid on the team which is like the rules and i'd go on a kickoff team and just absolutely wedge bust and then be right back to being like yeah i suck yeah like i knew I sucked, but I had fun playing it. I didn't like football, but I had to play. Why did you have to play? High school, like, our high school didn't have gym, so, like, you had to play a sport. Or you had to do something. You could play, you could do theater, you could do that shit, but, like, you had to

do some after-school activity, and I just did football because my friends did football. That's, like, a very East Coast thing. They're like, man, we'll play. It's like it's intramurals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas, like, you go to Texas, and they're like, very East Coast thing. They're like, man, we'll play. It's like it's intramurals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas you go to Texas and they're like, I'm moving cities so my boy can play for Coach Taylor. Yeah, you don't just casually play football.

It's got to be written in your blood. It's so funny. The first time Shane showed me a picture of him in pads, I was like, oh, you were real good. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, also, he has helmet face. I've said that before. He has a face that fits perfectly in a helmet. Mine was like, I have a big head, but my shit's like, yeah. And I was like, also, he has helmet face. I've said that before. He has a face that fits perfectly in a helmet.

Mine was like, I have a big head, but my shit's like far back. So it looks weird in a helmet. Some guys have like, the gillis is like right up there. He can just fuck it. You put a helmet on him, you're like, it looks perfect. I don't have, I got like a giant head. But that makes me a good battering ram. That's what I want.

I have fun with that. How big is your head? I wear a size 8 fitted. Oh, that's a big head. You got the 8 handle? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, dog. It doesn't look that big. It's big.

It's big. My mom walks like an old sheriff. You think she's settled the town. Howdy, Parker. You're like, well, 1983 C-sections weren't really a thing it was either you get ripped or you ain't having that kid i passed him around let's just say dayton wasn't the easiest in the 90s my boy ripped me up yeah dude mother's day i fucking go all out

you deserve it i'm buying her yeah i get that money i'm gonna buy her a lambo like i got drafted in the first round i'm gonna have a pink suit and a purple car for my mom mama we did it you're the real mvp mama we did it i I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I blew your shit out. But yeah, dude, I have a giant fucking head. I've always had a big head, too. While we're on the topic, though, you got the scalp reduction? No, no, no. Scalp reduction, dog. I got fucking FUT.

I got the back of my head. I got hair tits, dog. The implants. Yeah, well, yeah. It's like a whole, they cut the back of your head off and they put it on the top. Do you know how many people have done it that don't talk about it? I have a long bit about it that I'm doing now in my hour, but I find out how many, because of that bit, people have been like, I got it done.

And you're like, what the fuck? And it makes, the whole point of my joke is you make people feel crazy unless you tell them you do something. Like, I don't care if you fuck with your nose, your face, get a BBL. I don't give a flying fuck. But when you lie. But when you don't tell people, they feel crazy. Yeah. And so I got it done and I was like, I don't know if you fuck with your nose, your face. Get a BBL. I don't give a flying fuck. But when you lie. But when you don't tell people, they feel crazy. Yeah.

And so I got it done and I was like, I don't know if it's going to work. And then it worked and I was like, oh, I'm going to tell people. So I just like, I went on the bonfire and I was like, yeah, I got hair surgery. Fuck yeah. When? This is years ago. I got it during the pandemic. Smart.

See, you could have got away. You could have like snuck it under the radar. Yeah, but that's not, I don't think that's like, that goes against my entire belief of comedy. I agree. I agree. Like comedy's not there to be cool. Comedy's there to be like, I'm insecure and this is what I fucking did.

Also, once you, if I find out and you lie. You look different. Now I think, yeah. I'll give you names off air. You're going to look at them. Mateo Lane's very loud about it. He was on my podcast and we talked about it. We had the same doctor.

It's like, it's not like, I don't know, like getting some like dick surgery or something. It's your fucking hair, man. Which, shout out, dude. If you got to do that, do that. That's a risky procedure, but coming back with a pipe on you. Let other people know. I thought I had heard it was the scalp reduction because I just found out. I don't even know what that means.

They take a strip of your hair from back here and then they like put, it's like a living thing. And then they take the hairs and put it, and then it's your hair grows. It, and then they like put, they like, it's like a living thing, and then they like take the hairs and put it, and then it's, your hair grows. It just grows. Where did you have, because like I never thought of you,

I guess it was pandemic. Oh, dog, if you, dude, if you saw, in fact, the time that Shane and I did Answer the Internet,

you could start seeing it go on the right side. Really? It was very like, combed forward shit. Well, you did a good, I don't, I never.

I was like, fuck it. No. Yeah, it was like, maybe it's just so big. i don't have a good head if i had a good bald head nah that was when i still had it it was like uh me and shane right there no second one down yeah um that was like when it was starting see up there like right here i mean right here it's like starting to go bro let me just tell you there's a lot worse out there.

Yeah, but that's like why I did it because it was starting to go. And I was like, fuck it, dude. Don't do it. The Portnoy got it years ago. One of the funniest. He was doing a series called Dave Walks to Work. Yeah. Where he would just go on live and walk to work.

And somebody sniped him from above being like, oh, my God. Dave's walking to work. And he filmed it and sent it. And from like a sniper, you can still see it oh i still got this i still got the sunroof the uh the the fut takes care of like the front but they have a hard time with like the i'm all i'm down with the sunroof i'm fine i just have a giant head so i can't lose the front yeah and also the doctor was like the doctor was like once he's like your shit will go thin and i was like that's fine when i'm in my 50s or 60s yeah

40s i kind of want to ride i was like i don't know dude if i can fuck it father times yeah dude undefeated and it's i don't but i also think like getting it i know people that have got it done like in the 90s and they're like didn't work and you're like yeah it's like getting it's like getting lasik in the 90s we're not a magician like now they can do crazy shit yeah but yeah there's like i think that's what's weird about it is like dudes are doing it but they're not talking about it and then they like go online and give women shit for getting stuff done it's like well you're the same right you didn't shoot we got a crew of guys here who are all going to Turkey in like a week. That's so funny. Nah, man.

Get it done in New York like a NASCAR wife. Fucking sleep in your own bed, dude. I'm not getting on a plane with a fucking bandage on. Fuck that. And you got to soak your head. Because they say the biggest thing is the scar. Like you got to make sure. My scar looks like a paper cut in the back now.

Really? That's scars. Yeah, that's why you pay for a good doctor. Right. It's like a plastic surgeon. Yeah, because they're like, you won't see the scar. And you're like, great. And the lady that cuts my hair, my friend Katie, she worked on Billions and she works

at SNL. When I told her I was getting it, she was like, don't. She's like, don't. I've seen so many actors do it and there's a fat scar. And I was like, I'm telling you, the guy I'm going to like top notch is the guy because he like doesn't leave a scar and then now when she cuts my hair she's like it's fucking crazy she's like i don't even see it and you're like yeah that's that's money well spent i don't get the people i don't i don't understand the turkey trips particularly because i you know i get oh dude i want to go just for the

top to bottom checkup have you seen the the TikToks where they're in those hospitals? I've heard about that. Dude, they'll tell you if your pee is tangy. I want everything. You want that, though? I want top to bottom. I'm a hypochondriac. I'm losing my insurance in March because of SAG-AFTRA.

I need to go to Turkey. I need to know what's coming. I need to know, you know what I mean, before I'm paying $900 a month for Cobra. But isn't it worth more? I guess I don't know how big the disparity is in cost. Oh, it's like I paid probably all said and done, soup to nuts, back ahead to top ahead.

I probably paid $16,000, and I think you go to Turkey, you get it for like $5,000. All right. Yeah, I you know they include the flight they include the hotel and shit but dude but like all they do i did it so they they tell like they're like we will you're i think i don't know i thought it was five grand and then you have probably like five grand and like flight but if they make it a little inclusive well the doctor. Well, the doctor that I met in New York, Dr. Carlos Wesley, shout out Dr. Carlos Wesley, he gave me, I always saw him because my hair started going up here

and my friend used him as a doctor and he was like, this guy does, this famous person, this famous person. And I went to him and he was like, oh, we'll do a spray. This is like 2018. And the spray was what they sell on like hymns and shit. And it worked.

And I was like, oh, it's great. And then after the, like during the pandemicns and shit yeah and it worked and i was like oh it's great and then after the like during the pandemic i went to go see him because i was like i'm losing my hair fast and he's like yeah it's because the pandemic like people have stress that they're not aware of and their hair is losing and he looked at it he's like your shit's gonna be gone in like six years and i was like gone and he's like like cul-de-sac gone and I was like I only got the head for that and he was like we can do it he was like we can do an FUT surgery and they like check to make sure because they take this like that's the hair they take is the side in the back and he's like you have really good donor hair he's like you are like a great candidate for the FUT surgery and I

was like yeah because if you're down here it won't stick yeah so he was like do it and i was like let's fucking go i came home and told katie like i was getting faked hits i've decided to enhance myself you got to be like i love you as you are but like she was she was super supportive she goes listen you want to try it she goes you know we're getting married i don't give a shit she's like try it yeah if it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And then it worked. And I was like. Rosebud has that joke about paying for Andy's tits. Andy going home and she's like.

I mean, I have, you know, like I call it hair tits because it really is like going and getting, you get the confidence. It's the same version. It's like you walk around like. You have the confidence of fake breasts. Which is why I don't get like why any guy would be embarrassed of it because it's like you're just not not even a male ego of like the accept like the acceptance of like i need to do something because it's not gonna be okay like i get it dude i was like i honestly regretted it after i got it i was like do you fucking pussy

i called jane i was like i'm such pussy. I called Shane. I was like, I'm such a bitch. I should have just gone bald. I should have just looked like a white Sam Cassell. I should have just fucking taken my role. Fuck,

genuinely fuck that. But then like, if you have the means and the ability to just like make your life a little happier and easier, do that. I'm pretty cheap.

I squirrel away my money. I was like, fuck it dude, why not? Yeah. It's also like, and I got a good bit out of it Yeah I don't know. That's probably the best 16,000 dollars you've ever spent

But I've never knocked fake titties I've never knocked anybody that doesn't Yeah, but even titties like've never knocked fake titties I've never knocked anybody that does any of that shit but even titties like the hair like titties again do whatever the fuck you want I don't care

but for some women that gives them a lot of confidence for sure it gives them like some women are very like insecure about their chest

and they go get it done and they're like I feel fucking great it's what clothes you can wear it's not just like I want big tits it's like

it changes everything shout out the ones that are like I just want big tits good for you I don't fucking judge it man i feel like there's you know a bunch of shit going on in this world that you i don't care if you're way worse you want to customize your character that's what i said on stage yeah i don't fucking want to customize go to the customizing suite change your face do whatever the fuck you want i don't give

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every single day and know that you're just going to look like classic express has got you covered so find everything you need this holiday season whether you're shopping for others or yourself at Express.com. Use promo code SADBOYSEASON, S-Z-N, for 20% off. You can use that in person at the store or at Express.com. That's SADBOYSEASON for 20% off. Dude, speaking of you telling that joke, dude, you're a new hour. I've heard amazing things, bro. I think I pissed off Hulu when i was making fun

of that video my manager came backstage at town hall he's like i was with the guy from hulu but you were like you acknowledge you're like why you can tell they didn't give me money but i was on stage i was like some corporate cocksucker thought this was such a banger. And the guy was standing there like, oh, he's funny. My manager's like, just that awkward moment where he's like, I don't know what he's talking about. But yeah, I don't know. I saw it with two of my friends who – this is so shocking to someone like me who's known you for a long time. They were like – I was talking about – I got your tickets a long time ago. And I was telling them about it. And they were like, who's like knowing you for long yeah they're like I was talking about I got I got your tickets a long time ago and I was telling them about it and they were like who's that and I was like oh I'm sorry I came up

because they were watching billions oh yeah and I was like oh like I'm a fee like he's my buddy work I'm going to a show I think it was the same week so like Friday night and they're like he's a comedian yeah that happens to you a lot still that's I mean fact is is just billions was a crazy popular show. So yeah awesome more people know you as my fee than just like dance Oh the comedian. Yeah, but I kind of like that. I was a great thing to happen I kind of like shocked me so much. I kind of like we're like cuz like it's like finding out about a band Yeah, shit. He's got like three albums. I can go listen to I don't ever

like begrudge it is like it is funny because i could tell when people walk up to me what they're fans of which one yeah yeah like loud loud bros i'm like here comes the billions one like bro for real though dude like i worked in there and you're like you got a patagonia i'm like you don't know anything about me yeah i ain't nothing i ain't down to all this shit and then they're like fine all right but i like when people are like you know when they know about comedy and they walk up i'm like oh fuck yeah yeah it feels like oh shit this is awesome so i don't i don't begrudge anybody but i mean billions was huge yeah i was i was saying that for the record i

wasn't saying it like hey just so you know people don't. Yeah, I was saying that for the record. I wasn't saying it like, hey, just so you know, people don't know about it. Oh, no, no, no. I was saying, like, after the show, they were like, holy fucking shit. He's so goddamn funny. I think what's interesting about that is it really showed me, like, what path I could go down. And it was like a choice. Like, I saw people be like, I saw how popular Billions was. And I kind of saw the avenue of, like, well, do you you want to audition for this show do you want to be on this show and i

just didn't like you say did you ever do anything i didn't like it i just i liked making billions it was like comfortable it was easy it was like here in new york it was just like something i got to do it felt almost like i stumbled into it right yeah it was like my friend wrote the show he loves comics so he had like me berbiglia alan havey sam murrell you know a bunch of people pop up in the show but for me he was kind of like hey we need like a dickhead in the office or kind of like a like a guy in the office yeah and originally i was only supposed to be in like three episodes of season one and then another guy in the office that's like a really great actor got like a bunch of shit and they're like we're gonna give his lines to you and i was like cool yeah and then it just became a thing of like hey we wrote a part for you and it just kind of grew and it was like

awesome but actors live a crazy life like that's like a really hard thing and i really respect actors that do that but i'm not that yeah i just like i would get mad when they'd be like you have to cancel side splitters i'm like i'm not canceling and like you have to film a scene with the guy that shorted enron and i'm like i'm still not canceling that's love stand-up but it was a cool thing it was like a really cool thing to do but it's not something that i would like chase yeah i don't have you gotten any offers that are like no like uh you could get fast track like you don't have to like there's been like all the bullshit there's been like things in the past that people have been like hey we kind of want you for this role or whatever and

i'm just like if it works it works and it hasn't so i'm not like stressed about it you know what i mean but like i'll pop up and shit if people want to put me on something i'll do it yeah i'm not like against it i just like see how hard actors work and i'm like you guys go give them the roles yeah but you know i mean yeah but also i'm sure somebody would have looked at like like the bonfire being like you're on air every fucking day like that's a big yeah that's you know what i mean it's just kind of which world you come from yeah it was just kind of like um i kind of just made the effort of like i love comedy i just love doing comedy so i'm just gonna you know if I get to act and stuff like I love the way Bill Burr does it, you know, like Bill Burr is a good actor, but he pops up and stuff.

And he like he's like he executive produces a lot of stuff. Yeah. I mean, he had F's for family. He had old dads. He like does a lot of shit. But like, I just remember when I was like, you know, he'd pop up in Breaking Bad or like Mandalorian and you're like, oh, that's i love that shit yeah so i don't i just don't think it's something that i'm like gonna seek i'm just like yeah if it happens it happens but i like just doing stand-up

i i know it's not quite um stand-up or like comedian world anymore but you you got any inside scoop on what's going on with jay leno because something's going on with jay leno the eye patch dude that was awesome that story what happened is not fucking real he we got his face burnt yo yeah dude he he had a quote unquote my treasure you heard about this dude he said he was staying at a hampton inn in pittsburgh and was walking to dinner and decided to walk down a hill. That's old people shit. No, no, no, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. When I show you this fucking hill, this is not a hill that anybody in the world

would decide to walk down. It's not a hill. It's a fucking cliff. So he was just like, look at this. Look at this. You can see the Hampton Inn sign. He tried to walk down that cliff of the road. That's a rich guy that doesn't have anybody around him

telling him not to do something. He's so rich that people are like, yeah. I don't know. They do the thing that if you've been around really rich people, they always have an assistant. And they'll whisper shit to people. They go, Jay wants to walk down the hill. And they go, okay. And they go, I don't think Jay should do that.

Jay's going to walk down the hill. And then he falls and there's like seven people. But that is very funny. Dude, he broke his hand. Also, here's my thing. Shout out Conan. I'm legitimate. Conan gang for life.

Yo, that guy deserves. C-O-B. He deserves so much respect. Conan O'Brien's the best. He's kind of like a LeBron. We just don't talk about how fucking unbelievable he is. He kind of got screwed over with the whole thing. Yeah, he got absolutely fucked over.

Had that not happened and I think he was just the guy did you see him on uh did you see conan when he went on fallon and he like touched the desk no there's like a moment where he like touched the late night desk and you're like that should be yours reclaim your kingdom did you see the day when he had the uh he said uh what robin williams did after he got fired. Oh, yeah, yeah, that he did. He just sent him a bike. With a bike. He sent him a bike.

He was like, you'll be all right. Go for it. And made it all Irish and shit. Yeah, Conan's my guy. Conan was the only guy that I wanted to do stand-up on his show. And then I got to do it twice. And then it was like, well, that's it. I'm good.

I don't have to do a late night again. It was fucking sick. How old are you in that picture? That was like 2013. Holy shit. I was like, who is that? That doesn't look like you. That was the night Alabama blew out Notre Dame in the national championship.

Because I was with Nate. Nate Bargetzi was living in LA. That first time I did it. And he came with me to Conan. It was fucking sick. Dude, how cool was that on Nate's latest SNL when he got to end it with Vandible? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I texted him when that happened. Vandy beat in Alabama the night Nate hosted SNL the second time was fucking awesome. That was perfect. That's a perfect night. Yeah, that's like you host snl and vandy beats all at once to get to yell that i actually like i said that to him i was like dude to get to yell yeah fucking vandy i mean i was i texted him immediately i was like

dude how fucking crazy is that yeah he uh the pinnacle he's always been a huge vandy guy so it's awesome to see that win and then you know the night that he hosted SNL for the second time, they took the goalposts to the river. To the river. It's fucking awesome. Newscasters look like children now to me. Yeah, bro. That's happening to me right now in a very serious way. This is really scary.

What are you doing, little girl? Where's your mom at? Have your mom tell me the news. I think it's probably like a midlife crisis or something that's how old are you 36 yeah 35 it happened to me really bad when i was 40 i'm like everyone's everybody looks like everyone under 25 looks like a child cosplaying yeah they look like they're dressed up like their parents for career day but then also i see people like i see like i'm watching a movie or something like that and i see like the dad and i'm like that looks like me dog i'm like i'm like old uncle energy now yeah like i'm going to my

friends i'm going to my friend's houses and their kids are like 12 or whatever and they're like i can't smoke because i got the walking pneumonia i'm gonna have a little bit of my treats. A little bit of my sour treats. Sours. You know? Are you going to have kids? No. Not at all? No.

Definitely not? No. Absolutely not. Next procedure is going to be me fucking tying up the bag, brother. From the head to toe, like you said, bro. Get it all done. I'm going to get it all done. Go to Turkey and get everything snipped.

Yeah. I'm all about guilt-free nuts. Just fucking tossing loads, man. Yeah, do blanks, baby. This ain't the set of Burn with Alec Baldwin. This is fucking whatever it is. You ain't going to fucking check the gun on me. Don't worry, that thing's fine.

Rust? That was what it was called, rust. I don't need an armorer to check me on this one. This shit is empty. Me and Katie have always had uncle and aunt energy. Yeah. We're going to be fucking awesome. It's a bunch of dogs.

Bro, that is so awesome. If you meet somebody and you want to have kids and you're all on the same page, great. If you meet somebody, don't. The problem is when somebody wants to have kids and usually the girl wants kids and the guys are kind of like like i don't want to but like i guess i will and then that's when shit gets tough yeah if you are aligned this way or that way what am i this way is gonna be way more fun yeah a lot of travel a lot of awesome shit a lot of you know i was in

florida one of the um wives of like uh mike's wife's brother's friend or whatever she was like oh you guys are getting married that's awesome you friend or whatever she was like oh you guys are getting married that's awesome you guys having kids i was like nope and she was like oh you guys are like locked she said she was like you said it so fast you're locked in i'm like yeah it's just not happening right we're just fucking i told you i would feel a tremendous amount of guilt living on the road and making her do all the mom shit and then i come home and they're like fucking dad and i'm just like pizza and then like i'm not doing that this is my fucking light you know she's my wife we're gonna be together the rest of our lives i'm not making her do something that and also she's got

a job so that's like kind of fucked up for me to be like i want to cut it out you fucking cut it out and also i just i don't man. I just don't want to. I like that. I also don't want to. I'm like, I don't want to. When people start, I fucking hate. The pressuring is so annoying. No, I hate when people are like, I'm not bringing kids into this world. It's like, shut the fuck up, dude.

Just be like, I don't want kids. The world is the world is the world. Shut the fuck up. Yes. But it's not for you. It's not for me. And it is funny because I've been. Shut the fuck up. Yes. But I am also like, it's just not for me. And it is funny because I've been talking about this a lot on stage. It's the last form of peer pressure. Totally.

It's the last like, you got it. Everyone's doing it. You know what it is, though? It's because it's, listen, I have kids. They're great. I say this all the time. It's amazing. Actually, I'm getting to a point like my son's playing football and baseball.

Oh, it's unbelievable. I was at my daughter's basketball game the other day, and I was like, this maybe might start to make up for how much it sucked the first seven years. So everyone's like, oh, wait, you get to sleep and do whatever you want or not do whatever you want and travel and keep all your money. So they want you to have fucking kids so that you don't get to do all that shit. You need people like me because when shit hits the fan when shit hits the fan guess who's got savings?

Guess who can fucking help you out when your kid does some stupid shit and you need to pay for something and you go, sir, I fucking can't. And you're like, yeah, I got you. I'll pay for that kid to go to school. I'm planning on putting a couple of my friend's kids through college. Absolutely.

I'm fine with that. If you don't have kids, you don't even have to have a great career. But you just have all the money is yours. All the money is yours. You just keep all the money. Yeah. It's crazy. My cousin lives in Ohio.

She's got four kids. One of them's in middle school. One of them's in high school. one of them's in high school. Two of them are grown. But like, we pop down and go to his football games. Because we're like, oh, and we'll buy all the merch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would love to wear a Miami Terrace.

Go Panthers. You know what I mean? Panther. Rumble. I'm all about it, dude. I don't, it's not like and I understand listen I do understand the point of like you'll never love

something like this you'll never have a love like this and you're like that's cool right whatever I pass

I hope I find love in something else that's like a million things it's like you know I don't know you'll never feel like the exhilaration of climbing

to the top of a mountain exactly but okay okay fine you've never ran a marathon. You're like, nope. You're never going to do it. Yeah.

There's a lot of mountains to that. There's so many things I won't feel in this world. I don't like having my nipples chafed. So no. We just said the other day, have you seen that clip with the girl who shit herself? No. She's running the marathon

and someone's in the truck behind them filming and she's Australian. She's like, I just shit myself. She goes, I just shit myself. Don't get my ass. And we just accept that you just shit yourself. That's the most Australian shit in the world. Why not?

Or did it again? I don't feel me back, or I shit all over meself. Boys don't feel me. Boy, you're nasty, Ted. I just shit myself. Can we not get my ass? Staying running though The fact that we just accept That everybody shits themselves

And bleeds from their nipples And like yeah That's just something we do What? That's why No fucking way That's actually When you think about it

That is kind of the equivalent Of having a kid It's like Everything's gonna suck You're gonna be tired And there's literally Gonna be shit But there's no runners

Ha Yeah You're a floria I don't give a fuck i'll eat edibles but there is a flip side though like i i do my my uh my son is the quarterback of the flag football team fun and dude he's taking it to the house love it he like he and i i didn't play football and actually he's funny too because i described i explained to him how when you start to play real football you get hit and shit.

And he goes, I don't think I'm going to do that. That was why I didn't play. So I'm like, but he is good. But he's like breaking off like, you know, 100-yard runs and fucking throwing the ball now. And I was like, my daughter was playing basketball the other day. And I was like, I explained to her she was playing defense. And she was just kind of shuffling her feet and keeping her hands out. And I was like, grab the ball.

Yeah, go for it. And she started doing it to everybody and all the girls were like, you can't do that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, do it, get it.

I think tackle football is important for everybody because I think you truly learn humility. Yeah, yeah. You're like, you get hit

and you go like, well, like go get crack blocked and have a safety not call it out. And you have a guy fucking fold you like an accordion. And then you get up and you're like breathing weird. You're like, what was that? It was a Hawk Blue 36.

Sucking at football was the best practice for me getting into the entertainment industry. Because you're like, you're going to take a lot of hits, brother. and then now it's like i don't give a shit it's fun as fuck i remember one of my first football memories because i played a little like kids football peewee football before i played high school and i was probably like in eighth grade and i i probably it's probably my first tackle ever where it was like the kid broke off like a 50 yard run yeah and i just happened to catch him yeah and but. But I've seen so much sports and all that stuff, so I still had the adrenaline. I was like, get out of my house!

Yeah, it's so funny. He goes, I just took it 55 yards, you dildo. I was like, bro, I just took it 60, dude. What are you talking about? That moment where you think you're big-dogging someone and someone calls you out. My best friend, to this day one of my best friends, we played high school football, and during a hitting drill,

I was like yelling at this kid I was going to kill him, and he's like, he's half your size. And he still brings it up, and I'm like, god damn it. I think about that, and it still makes me cringe. I'm like, oh, fuck. But yeah, I mean, I think it's like, that's what's good about sports is learning to lose. I had a joke for a long time, but it's true.

When we were in Pop Warner, when I played in sixth grade, we lost 116 to lose. You know, I had a joke for a long time, but it's true. When we were in Pop Warner, when I played in sixth grade, we lost 116 to zero. And then I was doing shows recently and my buddy Kurt, who like was on that team, I think it was like Nashville. I forget where I was doing shows,

but oh, Indianapolis. He just moved to Indianapolis. We went out and got coffee. I haven't seen him since high school and immediately we sat down at coffee. I was like, do you remember 116 to 0? And he was like, yes. No one believes me.

I was like, dude, we got fucking crushed. I remember driving home with my mom and her being like, fuck. She's like a single mom, so she's trying to be supportive. And she's like, god damn, y'all got killed. And we won the next week. That's what's crazy about Pop Warner football. The only game we won that season was after we got beat 116-0. And you gave it Sunday, baby.

God damn. How many touchdowns is that? It was so many that we were just like, the parents were going like, stop. He's dead. He's dead already. It was the Simpsons thing. He's dead already. And we're like, I was like, I just want to go to Blockbuster.

It was fucking brutal. it was fucking brutal it was fucking brutal but that's always like the thing that's why i'm always so glad i'm a comic because it is like that it's like whenever you're insecure something bad happens to you immediately you go like this is gonna be funny yeah i mean like it's it's on stage is obviously times a million but you're just doing this it's like well normal people have terrible shit happen to them and it just sucks yeah just we can at least make something into it you guys want to hear something really bad that happened to me but it's like you ever play basketball uh yeah like one or two years i didn't really i played in a summer league that our uh you know, my school was like 400 kids total.

So everybody on the basketball team looked like me. We were all like, I think I was like the point guard, but also would play center. You guys were like the Washington Generals. Yeah, yeah. I was the captain of the team. We were 2-18. That's nuts. Very similar, though.

We beat like the best team in the county with this kid. His last name is either Castro or Cruz. I can't remember what it was and we used to try to like run a practice uh like a drill in practice where like anything that hit the backboard we considered in because that like this kid will hit these shots really so like we would like we would designate yeah it was like we would designate this guy is going to be castro for practice and he can't hit him the same way but as long as he hit the backboard or got close we we're like, that counts.

That's fun. That kid went home. He's like, I scored 68 in practice today. It was mostly backboard shit. Dude, but we played in a summer league where our coach got, you know, he wanted to, like, challenge us. And we played up. And we played in Mount Vernon.

And Mount Vernon is a very good basketball program. Ben Gordon came out of there. He played for, like, a play and then checked out, and we lost like 89-7. Like we could not get the ball across half court. That is wild. And these guys were just yakking us. Yeah, that's –

They were Ann Wong. How old were you? Junior in high school. Yeah, that's too old. Yeah, you're dealing with like actual – Yeah, oh, no, no. I played like fifth and sixth grade where it was like just fun to run up and down the court. No, no, no.

Right off the tip, they throw an alley-oop from half court, and I tried to stop it from happening. I had nuts on my head, and I was like, is that possible? What? My high school basketball team was very, very good and very, very competitive in the state. Made it to the Final Four.

I think three of the kids my senior year went d1 to like xavier wyoming and purdue so like kids were like kids could like fucking play i liked basketball because that's when i found out i was really good at talking shit because our bleachers would fill up and if you were like good at talking shit like the seniors would be like come down here talk shit to this kid you're like getting his head you're like you fucking suck because they're like taking the ball out if you got him to turn around you're like it was fucking awesome shout out jj houston dude that was like one of the coolest things he's like get down here get down here this kid we play football this kid can talk

shit and you're like you're fucking fat so our kid hair, I was like, you got back hair at 15? You're fucked. And he'd turn around. It was like JV. JV games were always before varsity. And you could get in the JV kid's head. It was just an open door. We'd be like, Ponderosa, you fucking blow.

And he'd turn around. 32. 32, I saw your mom down on Colfax. And he'd be like, oh, fuck it. I'll kill you. Ah! So much fun. High school shit talking at basketball games. 32, I saw your mom down on Colfax. I'm like, oh, fuck it, I'll kill you. So much fun. High school shit talking at basketball games.

Oh, my God. I also like the baseball bench. I thought it was the funnest place in the world. Baseball, I mean, yeah. Our baseball team was nasty, so we'd go to baseball games and talk shit. Just talking shit, getting high in the parking lot, and then going and talking shit was so much fun. It's better than playing sports.

Yeah. It was way better. You should do this instead of that. I had to bus tables at a restaurant. So what? Go pick up a fucking eight and then go fucking rolling up in the parking lot and be like, dude, I'm going to get into this kid from Eagle Crest's head. Just sitting there being like, you're a fucking mom.

Yeah, it was awesome. I'm trying to think of institutions that have stood the test of time quite like Express. Not the Roman Empire, that's for sure. Not the Roman Empire. I mean, anything that – like when I think of – I get nostalgic about like my childhood. It's like all of those businesses, shows, entertainment acts, they're all gone. It's just like they're all gone and you have to remember the good old days. It is crazy, like just all kinds of things.

I was thinking about cell phones the other day, and I was like, I'm sure the same phone people have given service my whole life. Not even close. It's like three years is all new companies. Totally. The bars you went to are now new ownership. You go, like the chains at the mall and the places you used to go, like they're all different. Everything changed.

And then there's good old Express just throwing the fastball still, getting you everything you need. If you're a guy, you need confident, easy, modern, everyday outfits for whatever life throws at you. And it's like we had you covered in like 1997 and we'll have you probably covered in 2097 uh whether you're getting t-shirts or uh everything ranging from comfortable casual clothes like t-shirts all the way up to suits and sweaters uh everything you need and if you can withstand living the amount of shit that's changed the last you know 20 30 years if you're still alive in this era that means you're alive for a reason so express is always going to be there uh and they have everything you need for the holiday season they have everything you need for uh all the staples in your closet for everyday wear so go to express.com or check out your local

express use promo code sad boy season i guess have did we declare it like is it sandwiching it's been pretty chilly but then i don't I honestly haven't paid that much attention to it. There was a run there, I can tell you, because I didn't have heat in my house, that it got pretty cold. I still don't have heat in my house. Really? Yeah. I don't know what the deal with that is. I don't know who I'm even supposed to talk to about it.

That checks out. My heat does not work. That checks out. Get yourself a Merino sweater from Express. I get home and I start putting on jackets. The Merino sweaters will keep you warm, but they are temperature-regulating with the moisture wicking, so you won't get too hot.

That's Express.com, promo code SADBOYSSEASON for 20% off in person or at Express.com. I love that shit. Speaking of basketball, the NBA in-season tournament? Yeah. I'm pissed. Why? Joe Mazzulla, Celtics coach, he said, everyone says it doesn't count.

That's why it doesn't really. There's not a benefit of winning it except you get a trophy. Yeah, but you can say that about the NBA season. Yeah, I don't know, but you get a chip, yeah. Nothing matters unless we all agree it matters. But that's the thing

is nobody, it's not a fully agreed upon thing. There should be like, you gotta buy in. Yeah. There should be like a money. Dude, that's, if the NBA was smart,

they would make it like a DraftKings tournament and DraftKings gives like 10 million bucks that you like divide up or something. And like, if you're on the bench,

like, you know, LeBron doesn't take it. He spreads it around to the other guys. I think you do get it. Okay, they get $500,000. Yeah. Per player? Yes.

That's got to be sick if you're like a young rookie. Yeah. Okay, that, I mean. I'm not even a basketball guy, but it bothers me so much that everyone's like, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters unless we agree it matters. A three-point shot doesn't matter, but we all say it counts for three so it fucking matters like it seems like something particularly in the nba where like with load management and stuff like that we've they've been very open about their like we don't try every game i'm getting my

fucking shit snip so i can do this is just like everyone agrees we're trying these but i guess they just haven't everyone like i think 10 years from now, maybe. But like right now when there's veterans who are like, I don't fucking care about that. And there are rookies who are like, I want 500 grand. And it's kind of a mishmash. I think I agree with that. I could see it growing into something where it's like kind of, you know, it's going to take is like one time.

The finals is going to be like Lakers Celtics or something that's like a rivalry. And it's a great game and it just gets people to buy into it where it's like oh shit it would be sick if they did the tournament where like if you won it and you somehow made it to the nba finals you got home yeah make it make it kind of like they used to do with the all-star game where they're like if you win you get all you get home field and you're like well then that fucking kind of matters it makes more sense too with this like the mlb format like they have 10 players from you know 15 different teams but this like that team that's your team yeah right it's like when you're playing growing up with your buddies and like

you'd play some games and then you'd be like yo we're playing for real now yeah like like that's kind of what this is where it's like yo we're playing for real yeah okay so it may as again as a non-basketball guy it makes me more interested to tune in that they're playing for real. And it's early enough in the season that you do get excited. Where you're kind of like, all right. Yeah. Also, it's the Emirates Cup, right? Yeah.

So if there's some, they need to up that money. Get that Emirates money. The Saudis are going to start fucking buying all our shit. Give us that Saudi money. Yo, have you ever heard about the Chicago parking meter thing? No. Wow, that's awesome. He just told me about this.

So during the recession in the 2000s, Chicago needed cash. And they sold the rights to all of their parking to the Saudi princes. Like some fucking shit, right? And what was the exact numbers? It was like it made like they sold it for like $1.1 billion. And they made a billion dollars in like two years. That's and they own they own all of Chicago parking for the next for 75 years. They made their money back in like a minute and it makes 200 million a year for 75 years.

And they just got to send it to Saudi Arabia while they're like drowning in murders. All they needed to do was just keep their quarters, keep their fucking parking meters. One of the all-time bad moves. It's going to happen to all of us, dude. We're all going to be like, and welcome to the podcast, Sheikh Mohammed Ansari.

And he's like, it's good to be here. It's fucking crazy. Like doing comedy for like- By the way, I am for sale from some Saudi fucking, I will take your blood money. You can own the whole fucking thing if you want. Because like when the way i am for sale from some saudi fucking i will take your blood money you can own the whole fucking thing because like when the wwe started doing it i was like what is this and now they do like it was so funny because the first time they did it they were like i want the undertaker to wrestle and they're like well he retired and he's like i want the

undertaker to wrestle and they're like undertaker will be there, brother. One more job. They brought back DX with Shawn Michaels and Triple H, and it was, I think, rated the worst match ever. They did Kane and Undertaker versus DX because one of the Sultans wanted to see it. Yeah, that's like my Tyson boxing. These guys cannot do that anymore, bro. Just please stop.

Did you watch the McMahon documentary? Oh, yeah. That's right up your alley. Yeah, there was actually some stuff I didn't really know about that I thought was cool, but I thought they did a good job of the McMahon documentary? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right up your alley. Yeah, there was actually some stuff I didn't really know about that I thought was cool, but I thought they did a good job of the McMahon documentary. It's also, I was talking to Porto about it on the rundown the other day, like, there's just so many funny and ridiculous things they did that you kind of forget, and you're like, oh, yeah, they did that.

When they did the- They said that, and they, you know, it's just like- When they did the smash cut of him cheating on Linda, and they're like, did you write that? He's like, I didn't write that. And then you're like, yeah, you did. Showed him just making out with different women. Wasn't there?

He's like, it was family friendly. And you're like, no, it wasn't. I hit puberty right in the attitude area. It was perfect. I watched Val Venus get his cock cut off. Choppy, choppy old pee pee. Dude, I fucking. Wasn't there something sexual with Stephanie and Vince? Itince it was like very i mean i don't know

there was murder there was may young giving birth to a hand i remember that shout out mark henry believable yeah i don't know man wrestling's in a fucking great place right now with triple h running it yeah he's smart but it'll never be the same like i i actually i've said this before and i stick by this i think the wwf attitude era is is the greatest, I don't know what you want to call it, just form of entertainment. Like that era, the greatest entertainment product ever put out. That was the pinnacle. It could be argued that was the pinnacle. You could take comedy, sports, sitcoms, television, what they did.

You had the rock stars that were like Austin and The Rock, but also like i would just say wrestlers you i would say you have to include if you're going to include the attitude area you got to talk about uh the monday night wars because what wcw is doing wrestling is like the whole kind of i mean i still love it yeah i fucking love it dude it's my turn my brain off shit it's it kind of got a little it did get a little more family friendly though right it was like a little for a while the scene is kind of coming back the scene era and now they're like they're going to netflix in january yeah and i think they're going to be a lot more like that boxing match broadcast with any indication they got to do some work i don't think you have to worry about streams like that but yeah i think they um i think they're getting

triple h is running it in a way that's like i think he's gunning it more towards like older guys yeah yeah he's kind of like let's bring it back to what it was yeah yeah i i've only i i was a wrestling guy very briefly like i was one of those like classic families like my brother and i started wrestling yeah my mom was like no more fucking wrestling in his house like i think i think i pedigreed him through a futon that's sick and my mom was like that's sick it was like we were going to smackdown that night that's bad and so we were jacked up and she's like you can go, and then we're done with this. Really?

Oh, no, man. My mom loved it, because it was like, you just put it on, and I wouldn't go anywhere. It was also like three hours on a Monday night or whatever. I remember saving my money to get WrestleMania 13. I was 13, and I saved my money. I was like, I want to get, because I always had to wait for the tape to come out months later. And I was like, I'm going to buy WrestleMania.

My mom's like, do you have the money? And I put $70 down. I was like, WrestleMania 13. Call it in. Call in the order. That is. Yeah, it was awesome. I guess if you watch the UFC, you can kind of.

I bet kids now save up to watch UFC and shit. I guess so, yeah. I remember WWF like pay-per-view parties like it was like we're all gonna get together at one house

shout out I think it was Nick Myers his like ninth birthday he got the Royal Rumble it was fucking massive but yeah I fuck with wrestling very heavy still

I saw a clip of you the other day saying that you think it's like the number one dry up the pussy. Oh, yeah. People are getting butt hurt by that clip. I did Jeremiah Walkins' stand up on the spot and someone yelled like talk about wrestling.

And I was like, dude, there's women here. Wrestling fans get married. And also I fucking. It is the ultimate scary in the hose. But now it's funny because it's like watching like, you know, that clip is like wrestling sites have picked it up or whatever. And they're like, this dude's making fun of're like you have no idea who you're talking about super fan in the world macho man randy savage was in the front row at your last show oh yeah that was wild that guy was wild it's so funny when you people dress up as macho man you're like

what are you doing yeah you acknowledge him and he got so mad at yourself right away you're like i shouldn't have fucking even said anything i thought it would have been funny if I didn't say anything to him the whole time and he felt crazy. But he left and he's like, am I losing it? He sees me, right? No. He didn't acknowledge me. And I didn't. You're just like, all right.

But that was fun. That guy was cool as shit. I met him after the show. But yeah, that was a fun fucking show. It was very cool afterwards when you gave like, it wasn't speech but you're like this means a lot to me oh yeah dude that was true i watched bill burr there like exactly 15 years before at the new york comedy festival me and nate got tickets through de rosa and like watched bill burn like that i truly think that show at town hall changed nate and i really for the better because like i remember leaving it i had

to go do a check spot at stand-up new york and nate had a spot at broadway and we like walked through time square being like that was the best show i've ever seen in my life we were like like watch that was right after burr did why do i do this it was right before the second hour uh let it go and it was like a very very important show to nate and go. And it was like a very, very important show to Nate and I. Yeah. So it was like, during the show,

I'd look down at the seats and be like, that's where I sit, right? Yeah, it was cool. That was the shit. Have you felt like a change in your career?

I mean, how's post-Bonfire life? It's been great, man. I miss the guys. I miss the crew. I miss the fans and shit. But like, it's been really fun building up on the road and seeing it kind of pay off and kind of being more available on stuff.

And I think putting 40 minutes out on YouTube was the move because it was just right to the people and it did exactly what I wanted it to. I was so surprised because that was like, what, six months ago? March. Yeah, it was March. I don't think you had any crossover what you have now right yeah no there wasn't a joke on there that's great yeah and i've just been touring my dick off bro if you i understand the idea of like you can't burn material and you don't want people to see things but if you can if you can write enough and you're funny enough you have enough and you can utilize the internet oh yeah i mean there's people that are way better reach so many i like disappearing i like not you know like i put uh

the hbo hour out in 2019 and then five years later dropping 40 and then you're like maybe three years four years because i think i kind of want to write an hour and then bulldoze it and write another hour and yeah. I don't think this need to feed the machine. I understand it, and I'm trying to find ways around it, but I kind of like holding shit. I'm a big Sturgill Simpson guy, and I kind of like the way he creates.

I like the way that Queens of the Stone Age create, where it's not about maximizing your, you know what I mean? It's not about profits, and it's not about maximizing your you know what i mean it's not about profits and it's just like kind of like yeah you you gotta be a different person like i like putting out shit that you're like and this is where i'm at now and you know i think like i can only speak for myself but like you know i see obviously a lot of comedy and comedians promoting their shows like the second i saw yours i bought it because i was like that means a lot i don't know it's because i would rather be i would rather be

heavily fucked within the streets than uh industry darling yeah and i kind of and that's what the last five years have proven is kind of like god bless you like i did i don't i don't i'm not talking shit about anyone that wants to chase that chase the algorithm, chase this. I'm lucky that I got homeless pimp with me, you know, doing my podcast and like, he knows how to do all that stuff and build the algorithm and like build our YouTube channel.

And I got him, but I like just going in fucking hanging and being funny. And your style makes, again, at least people like me or people with my type personality, like I have to see him. Because he's not always putting shit out. I like that.

I have to go see. I think there's going to be a reaction to all this film, everything, everybody's famous. And I think the reaction is people are like, I hope, I don't know, but I hope young people kind of realize, like, you're valuable and save it. Store it up like an Iucan. Don't just keep diuretically shitting stuff out. store it up like an iukin don't just like don't just keep don't keep stuff out like save it up yeah throw out a turd a nice package turd don't don't shit liquid everyone's shit liquid everywhere everyone's just like like i had this thought it's all gross i want to see a fat Coiled dump

You know I want to see some Shit knuckles dude Double tapered shit Yeah dude Shit my pants last night Yeah dude I gotta go

But I I truly like I was gonna say I hope though And it's only right That like You deserve The financial success

And everything that comes along with it Because you're doing it along with it because you're doing it the right way and you're extra funny so people should respect that and buy the tickets and buy the merch and do whatever it takes to support that because you're doing it the right way thanks man the one thing i will say and the reason that i feel like i know i'm doing it the right way is i truly enjoy my fans like there's not like um you know you're talking about the billions stuff yeah i think i could have chased that yeah and then you'd have fans where you go like well you know you're talking about the billions stuff yeah i think i could have chased that yeah and then you'd have fans where you go like well you don't really know me right you like

know me from a thing but i really like you know i'm going to pittsburgh this week and you just like you see more people come out every time you go and you're kind of like it's a hang yeah right i just like i like liking my fans right that's what they say like really famous people like always grow to resent their fans. It's just like if there's a group of people out there waiting for me to tell jokes, it's just like it doesn't feel like... It feels like a hang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, this is fun.

Right. This is... I don't care about the other shit. This is just very... I really enjoy doing stand-up comedy, and I'm lucky to be friends with the biggest guys and I see kind of what they go through and it's a lot yeah and it makes me grateful for you know I'm friends with other people that aren't selling tickets and it's just kind of like if you like stand-up and you like doing stand-up there's like a way that it's like um you know just feels very gratifying amen សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.