KFC Radio - Dante on How the Barstool NYC vs Chicago "Beef" Got Started + Daytona Weekend Recap || Sara Weinshenk

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:35 - Daytona Recap 23:32 - NBA All Star Weekend Recap 31:47 - Mac Mcclung Self Alley Oop - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgL0HfbqJuw 40:05 - Orlando Woolridge Dunk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n_jNoZllgs 42:47 - Video Voicemails 1:20:09 Dante Interview 2:00:00 Dante on Barstool NYC vs Chicago 2:29:47 Sara Weinshenk Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ KFC: Smash Your Hunger With KFC’s Smash’d Potato Bowls For Only $3.49! Prices and participation may vary. Prices higher in AK, HI and third-party ordering websites. Buy one get one free offer only valid with order of regular Smash'd Potato Bowl (without nuggets) through KFC Account. Must add eligible item to cart and redeem offer before completing order. Customer responsible for all taxes, tips and fees. Cannot be combined with other offers. Limit 1 per transaction. https://www.kfc.com/menu/special-offers/smashd-potato-bowl?utm_source=%s&utm_medium=content&utm_campaign=w1_smashd_bowl&utm_creative=%ecid https://kfcshop.com/?utm_source=%25s&utm_medium=Content&utm_campaign=KFC_Radio&utm_content=%25ecid%21 Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). SoloStove: Head over to https://solostove.com and use promo code BARSTOOL20 to get $20 bucks off $199 or more, and ditch the smoke for good.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Can I ask you guys a question, since we're in a circle of trust here? Yeah. What are you guys like feeding people around here that everyone's like depressed that they're in New York and not in Chicago now? And like everyone all of a sudden is like chicago's the best like it's another edition of kfc radio on the barstool sports network it is still smash potato bowl season everything you need if you want uh three dollars and 49 cents to have a a tasty nourishing meal all in one little bowl you

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buy one 349 kfc rewards account get one free we got back from our uh daytona 500 trip which might be my biggest mush to date uh everywhere i go is terrible everything i touch turns to shit uh went down to you know beautiful sunny day total daytona florida where you're supposed to experience the you know nascar super bowl which is nothing but like drinking and sunshine and friendliness and cars and women and and and just everything like america stands for and uh we brought 72 hours worth of rain with us and the whole thing got washed out didn't even see a car i didn't see a car the only i i i kind of heard a car in the distance at one point uh it's it's i watched i watched the truck series on tv i watched them all crash on tv

that was the only actual NASCAR I watched. I didn't see a car. I took an Uber or two, but I did not see a race car the entire weekend, which I haven't done since I went to Preakness when I was in college and didn't see a horse the whole time. Right. Usually when you say things like, I didn't even see the game, man, it's like for good reasons.

You just partied so hard that you didn't see it. This, unfortunately, was due to weather. Nothing NASCAR could do about it. But I will say this. Without even actually experiencing the sport, I got a vibe. I understand why people fall in love with it and get addicted after really experiencing it. Because there is a vibe around that whole sport that is every other sport could take a page out of their book where it's just like every other like the access that you guys that like we got because we're like barstool

bloggers but like if you came to the party you you were just drinking beers with chase elliott and denny hamlin right that's i mean that's you know, I was at the bar and like I was drinking with LeBron and Steph. It's like that level. It's fucking insane that those guys, and I guess it's kind of a testament to how NASCAR kind of is, a blue collar, you know,

traditional American sport where they're just like, you know, the way I understand it is they plan all the parties for Friday night and I asked what goes on Saturday night and they said nothing. And they were like, because Friday night, they all want to get fucked up and party, like the night. And I asked what goes on Saturday night and they said nothing. And they were like, cause Friday night,

they all want to get fucked up and party like the drivers. And then Saturday night, they can't do that. So they plan everything for Friday so that everybody can go out and like experience the, all the parties and all like the fanfare. Cause like the actual competitors want to be a part of that. Um,

and I'll say, man, like I've, I've tried to show people a good time you know like take you to your first ball game or like you've never been to the garden or like hey I gotta take you to first football game and if it gets rained out or it's a bad experience I'm just kind of like oh well man I don't know the amount of people who came up to me from Barstool who have experienced NASCAR from the NASCAR people uh you know, competitors in NASCAR, spotters and pitmen,

the corporate people at NASCAR, they were like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, first of all, it's the fucking rain. It's nobody's fault. It's fucking God's fault. But secondly, they were just like, I just like the fact that you didn't get to experience this. It's like, it's got to be like a religious experience that like we i just like the fact that you didn't get to experience this it's like it's got to be

like a religious experience that like we just missed out on the way the amount of people being like you like please tell me you're gonna come back because knowing that you guys like didn't get the full the full show is like eating at them you know i'm like i it's okay don't don't lose sleep over this like we'll go to talladega we'll come back next year I don't know we'll do something but man people are like that passionate about it so there's there's obviously something to it and it's people who like you know I love that that large and spider have largest spider by the way are are like truly the mayors of NASCAR which is is I mean you know they I I don't know about spider i think spider has watched for a while but

large kind of took a liking to it like after coming to barstool and like having since become a real fan i mean he's like every right every driver's like favorite guy he's waving kissing baby shaking hands um spider was extremely impressive i we did like a little live show yeah spider was i i knew... I knew Large was good. I hadn't seen Spider do much content before. Spider was incredibly interesting, funny, educated, smart. Right. New leggings.

I was like, holy shit. Asking the right questions. Look at Spider up here. Knowing all the info. Spider was great. Knowing all the stats. I also... Earlier, you were talking about religious experience.

I did get my religious experience this weekend. Oh, what's that? That was when a man fed us with a shovel. Bro. Chef Jason. What my religious experience this weekend. Oh, what's that? That was when a man fed us with a shovel. Bro. Chef Jason. What a funny moment this was. I'm so excited to tell this part of the story. So NASCAR also, I mean, the red carpet does not begin to describe it.

You get picked up, dropped off everywhere you need to go to and from. They're driving you in cars. They're driving you in golf carts. You don't need to lift a finger you don't need to move everything's set for you they take you here they take you there they give you booze they feed you food if it's raining they have a tarp for you if it's not you're partying in the sunshine this is what everyone gets by the way yeah everyone at nascar gets that experience no of course we get the special treatment but there are you know plenty of times we try to do things with other leagues, and they're like,

you know, here's like a pass that gets you, like, you know, into like one press conference. It's like, fuck that, you know? So they roll it out, and we get to the spot on the infield where we have two double-wide RVs with a tarp connecting them, And Chef Jason is there and Chef Jason is whipping up some barbecues, got some ribs and all sorts of shit going. And I always say I don't like barbecue food, food. I told him this. I always say I don't like barbecue food, food. And then I realized I never actually eat real barbecue barbecue. I it's you know, I'm eating New York

barbecue. And every time I have some real shit, some Kansas City stuff, some Texas, some Florida, I'm always like, oh, that's right. This is the real deal. But that being said, I like barbecue. I still don't eat like a barbecue man eats. You know what I mean? I don't eat like Feidelberg eats. I still, you give me a plate of food,

I have like a side, an entree, a few bites of some other shit, and I'm done. Chef Jason loaded up our plates we had some ribs we had some pasta laia which is uh bow tie pasta cooked jambalaya style which i didn't put together the entire time i i i thought it was i was like i've never heard of this dish pasta laia but okay i thought it was italian i i was eating it go damn this kind of tastes like a good jambalaya. Never made the connection. Now, I had my fill. I had like a rack of ribs, basically a bowl's worth of pastalaya, and I was done.

The only problem was there was only one garbage, and it was right next to Chef Jason where he was standing. And I was like, I cannot be rude and throw out the rest of this food. And everybody else was eating. It wasn't like I could be like, hey, you want some of this food? Everybody had their own plate. And so I'm kind of waiting and waiting. And eventually he's talking to somebody.

And there's like a clear shot to the garbage. And I'm like, I'm going to go now. I'm going to make a break for it. And as I walk over, his conversation happens to end. And he turns to me. So I'm walking towards the grill. And he goes, oh, this man's hungry. He wants another plate.

And I was like, yes, sir, I do. I am still starving. And that's when he took out a spatula that was no smaller than a full snow shovel. Oh, I genuinely think it was a shovel. I don't think I'm a – I think it was a shovel. I think it was like a – it wasn't like a full – I think it had like a full shovel. I think it had a shovel end. I think it was like a...

It was in a cauldron. And it was... A cauldron and a shovel. I think it was like a shovel of sorts. I think it was a specially made... It was so... He was using two hands. A shovel of sorts is great.

Perhaps it was to build sandcastles or something, but it was a shovel, dude. I've been telling everyone I got fed by a shovel. I wasn't exactly... I'm pretty sure it was a shovel. That is some funny shit, man. I mean, he definitely hit it with two hands and then poured off the side.

You know, like it was like a shovel and like dump. He didn't pour, you know, just shovel dump, shovel dump. And it like, it made my plate like heavy. And it's just so, it just totally backfired. I just, and I was like i'm just gonna have to stuff myself full as john was like we're just eating until until it's gone yeah doesn't matter if we're not hungry anymore we're just eating until it's gone it was so goddamn delicious though and again they just like what do you want you can have it any anything you want

snap your fingers and it was there except for a goddamn race the only thing they couldn't provide was the race itself but i mean the fact that like i mean chase elliott was at the bar and it wasn't like you know crazy it was just like yeah chase is here right here and some some people came up for the most part they're just kind of leaning over the balcony you know sipping a beer just being like what's up man i eventually walked over to chase and talked to him and he told me he knew who i was from one minute man which is also crazy because i just never i'm always stunned when when like any celebrities know my shit but certainly a nascar guy you know i don't think of a nascar guys going on instagram to keep up with like celebrity gossip and hollywood news and shit you know and he's like you do good man you you do you do uh you do a good job of doing

everything real fast and i was like like, was that an actual joke? Because I think out of the two people here, I think you're the one known for doing things fast, Chase. I don't think you should be using it. Chase, you see how quick I come. I met Bubba Wallace's spotter, Freddie, who is a Mets fan from Long Island who moved down to North Carolina. It was just awesome. Bubba Wallace races for Jordan and Denny Hamlin's team. By the way, so crazy that Denny Hamlin owns a brand but also races a car for another brand. That's nuts to me.

NASCAR is just like, whatever, we don't fucking care. But I was getting some, like, behind-the-scenes stories about Jordan and, like, him in NASCAR. And, I mean, just, like, it's a very, very cool sport. It was quite the juxtaposition watching NBA All-Star Weekend compared to NASCAR because I feel like you couldn't get further apart in in terms of those that vibe yeah like in terms of access and and uh and just like the the the atmosphere around the sport um so you know we'll have to uh

we'll have to try to do it again, but I just think I'm a curse. I think it's like, you guys should just go without me. It was... Brought the rain to Vegas. We brought the rain to Daytona. That was crazy. We've been on the road for two weeks and hadn't seen sun. In two hot places. Right.

Two places that I thought were never raining. It rained for seven straight days total on our trips. Did get some cool jackets. I did not take mine home. Did you? I did take mine. I left mine for the maid. I figured the person doing the hotel would probably like it.

Didn't think you were going to wear your Chase Elliott jacket again? I didn't think I was going to get it. I felt like a poser. No disrespect to Chase Elliott. Well, here's the thing. We got... Someone gave me a lollipop. I was the gayest...

Not gayest. Actually, sluttiest thing I did all weekend. You were sucking on that thing, man. Oh, my God. It was the longest lollipop. I was the gayest. Not gayest. Actually, sluttiest thing I did all weekend. You were sucking on that thing, man. Oh, my God. It was the longest lollipop ever. We did the NASCAR makeover, which, yes, you feel like a poser, but also I'm so happy we did because I wore my regular clothes. I had jeans, a t-shirt, and a shacket over it, like a button-up shirt over it. I didn't feel like a poser for wearing NASCAR clothes.

I felt like a poser in Chase Elliott. Got it. I think that was like being like, I'm a football fan, go Chiefs. Yeah, because he's fucking awesome. I need to, I need, it's like, I remember when. But he's on the comeback. He broke his leg and now he's trying to prove himself again. Agreed.

But he's still like the, I think seven years running fan favorite player, favorite racer. Yeah, so definitely picking Mahomes. I remember when I started following the Premier League, we put a lot of thought into that. We were like, we're not going to just go Man U, like whatever. At the time, Liverpool was not a good team. Right. You weren't. It was the bottom of the barrel team, but they weren't a good team.

You wanted a little bit of something. I feel like jumping on Chase Elliott kind of makes me a pussy. I hear you. We also talked to Zane Smith who was the rookie of the year. He's a new driver who he's on the come up as well. If I rolled up

to NASCAR dressed like I was, I feel like i would have felt like a total asshole so we made a stop at bass pro shop and i got some fly fishing pants i got a daytona shirt we got the starter jackets and some nascar trucker hats and it was just i was like thank god we did this because yes i'm a total pussy and i'm a total like you know city slicker city boy not nascar guy but at least let me pretend for the day you know at least and it was fitting at least that i found the the jordan starter jacket it's like all right there's one brand i can i can rep a little bit

did you buy that there no that was part of like the nascar i was gonna say yeah that was just like they had a box and they were like you want to wear this shit i was like hell yeah it was a double xl so i was swimming in it but uh but my part, your favorite part was getting fed by a shovel. My favorite part was shopping at Bass Pro Shops where the crusade that I wanted to fight about nine months ago where I wanted to restart and fix the clothing sizing issue in Americaica where i you know you buy an xl now and i barely fit in it and yes it's because i'm middle-aged and getting fat but also an xl from like the 90s is not an xl anymore and i come to realize that maybe this is just like a new york thing or an up north thing because you go back down to florida and sizes are the way they're meant to be you grab an extra large it's a fucking extra large you go shopping for pants on the rack they had a 50 32

i've never seen a five handle on shopping for pants 50 32 there was a 48 30 what he's going on here and i was able to pull out a fucking medium Daytona t-shirt. I was like, I am a medium in Florida, bro. Let's go. We need to all re-adapt the Florida sizing because this shit up here, I'm pushing double XL these days. It's fucking ridiculous. So that made me feel good about myself.

The Bass Pro Shop is an experience unto itself. They had a whole setup outside. It was a big trailer there with a bunch of women who were running an awareness foundation type thing called Shoot Like a Girl, where they teach all the women, mothers and daughters, proper gun protocol and bow and arrows and just how to shoot and how to be safe and how to protect yourself and all that stuff. And they said to us, you guys, you know, it's not for you guys because we only have the bow and arrowsbow? Crossbow and guns for the girls. But we don't have any that are sized correctly for the men. And I was thinking to myself, like, I think I'll be okay. I think if you gave me a female bow and arrow, I'd be all right.

I probably can't even handle the lady bow and arrow either, lady. So, yeah, this was her talking, trying to... And I gave her the old, we'll come back later. We'll come back later. Oh, she knew that was bullshit. Totally. I tried to sell it by saying, can I take this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she was like, sure. I said to her, we have a lot of shit to do with NASCAR, but are you going to be here all day? Because we can come back afterwards. And she was like, yeah, sure. And I said, may I take the flyer with me? And trying to convince her that, like, I really do care. Maybe I will come back. I'll scan the QR code.

And I think she was like, see you later, you fucking pussies. I think the fact that we stood there for a half hour afterwards. The fact that we stood there for the correct amount of time to do the whole fucking thing probably didn't help the line. They haven't taken a step yet. I will say this. We might not have got the full NASCAR experience, but I hope to God, and this is not something that can happen,

but if I had one wish, I would make it happen. I wish that everybody on this planet could get the full out and about experience. Because when you are out with Pat and Joey, take how funny their podcast is and their clips are and whatnot. When they're off camera and they're just doing their thing, multiply how funny they are by like a billion. Joey and Pat, when they are just riffing at the bar, at the party, dressed up in fucking camo, white trash Pat with his fucking sling.

Joey walking around. People thought Joey was like an extinct animal, just being like an openly gay man like him. They were like, what is this? What are we witnessing here? I've never seen this before uh i i told them my goal in life is to somehow get like a reality crew to follow them or like hidden cameras the the sunglasses with the cameras in them to just capture those guys when they are out because it would be the it would be the funniest show on tv it would be the funniest show on TV. It would be the funniest show on the internet. Just them being their ridiculous selves out in the wild.

And some of it would have to be behind a paywall, for sure. But those guys start a Patreon with some of their uncensored content. Fucking forget about it. Everybody else retire. They're unreal. Joey in that setting. I don't think people got that they're just gay men out of the closet. There was a couple people going, they don't even hot it. Yeah, no, they're just gay men out of the closet there was a couple people going they don't even hot it yeah no they're just gay they're just fucking gay uh so while it wasn't the

the daytona 500 experience it still was a nascar type experience um and they were absolutely great so you know we'll have to do another big race or daytona next year or whatever it may be um so thanks to nascar and everybody else who uh you know all the sponsors and everybody who put it together because it was certainly even without getting to do it i i definitely had uh an experience uh that i've never felt i've never you know had before so that was very cool one of my favorite moments too uh at the party at the tailgate we were hanging out with um a couple of guys from uh friday beers and almost friday and frankie broiley was smoking a cigar

and was just what'd you say you said he's a menace with a cigar frankie just with a lit cigar that he should have ashed like 25 minutes ago it was like half ash half cigar at this point and he's waving it around and just knocking it into everybody at the party this guy had on a pristine white brand new like dale earnhardt jr whatever it was fucking nascar jacket and he just he just ashed all down this guy's back. And he was walking around going, some fucking asshole ashed a cigar on my back. Can you believe it? Fidelberg was like, that guy right there. He's fucking mad.

There was a couple chicks at the tailgate. There was an Alabama girl who grabbed a beer, bit into it, shotgunned. Immediately somebody threw her another beer. She stone-colded that. She grabbed it with one hand bit into it again shotgun to second she comes over I was like that was impressive I was like oh did you cut your lip and she's sitting there talking to me

blood pouring down her lips into her teeth looked like she had just got out of the dentist going I didn't cut my lip oh okay okay sure perfect so we did get the NASCAR experience in that regard we just didn't get the NASCAR experience in that regard. We just didn't get the cars.

So watch that weekend. What can you do? We got Sarah Weinschenk on the show today. Very funny comedian. You've seen her with Kim Congdon, and she's been all over Rogan and stuff recently. So that'll be our interview today. We sat down with Dante and just fucking roasted him up for a little while. Dante said that. I don't think we roasted Dante at all.

No, what we did was what guys do. But Dante, Dante's too sensitive. I don't even think Dante apparently texted me. I mean, we call him a big pussy a lot. Well, he's a big pussy. Yeah, right. I mean, that's not, I guess Dante texted Nate after the show and was like, fights fucking went in on me. I think we had a nice conversation.

It's decidedly not a nice conversation. Really? I mean, well, again, listen, if you're a pussy, like this is what guys do, yes. But like Dante, who's sensitive and like thought we were going to like, I don't know, talk about like his budding blogging career. We come in and you're like, we're like, hey, how about those pussy tweets you sent about that girl it's not nice i i called dante and i do and i genuinely mean this i think he is one of the kindest most awful people i know in person in person and i genuinely mean like dante is one of the really genuinely nicest guys he was also a pussy sometimes he will roll out the red carpet as well he's the type of of guy who will be like, I got a restaurant reservation for you.

If you're in my city, let me help you out. You want to go out? You need someone to talk to? All that shit, always. On the internet, he's either a giant pussy or an absolute lunatic. So this is what we do here. We talk about those things on the internet. We also talk a little bit about the state of Barstool.

Things turned a little more serious there where he was talking about everything that's gone on with Barstool Radio, Barstool New York, Barstool Chicago, and all that. So there's some good inside Barstool talk if you're into that. I think I can fix the NBA All-Star Weekend problems. Oh, yeah? I think I can do it. I don't understand why they...

I mean, I think they're – like, they're over. It's not just the NBA. All All-Star games are over. Probably. You're probably right. Like, who cares? I think you're probably right in that regard. I think that there should be, like, an All-Star weekend celebration that's probably more modern where you're, like –

they're doing, like like live streams and internet. Like if somebody were to, if there was to be an NBA player who like did the Jerry challenge to fucking try to get a hole in one. Yeah. Like I saw, I actually saw the, what the NFL has been doing the last couple of years where they played golf. Like who can get closest to the pin? That has nothing to do with football.

Right. But I was just like, this is cool to watch, you know, some of that shit. But I think all that stuff has a one year lifespan. like you're gonna tune in the second year no but that's where i think if you just kind of every year you come up with just like something i i think what people like is to see these guys a little bit more in their element like doing other shit you know what i mean because like the this allStar game, 205 points were scored. You think that that's cool or good, but it's like you're just watching open gym shoot-arounds.

That's not fun. I also think with All-Star games, the guys who play in the All-Star games are the guys who deserve the three days off. Just cancel the All-Star game, everyone gets three days off. Yeah. Well, listen, that's probably the logical answer. If you're talking about still trying to have a weekend of events with games and challenges, I think there was the last one I remember.

I'm not going to know the year, but it was probably within the last 10 years. Pabs, you might remember this. They, like, the final, like, four minutes, they, like, they were calling timeouts. They were, like, setting up shop. They were, they got, I think it was, no, it was, like, Marbury versus, Marbury versus, it was longer than that because it was, like, Marbury versus, maybe Iverson was still in it. I don't know. So maybe, but they were, like, they were fucking around.

And then all of a sudden they were, like, gonna play to win and they were playing defense and all that shit and then it actually becomes cool because the one thing you know part of me says what do you expect these guys want to like it's their week off you know yeah but also edwards he's like it's a break right right it's called the all-star break yes and it is supposed to just be like fun and shit but it is also if you want to be like for the fans it's called the All-Star Break. Yes. And it is supposed to just be, like, fun and shit. But it is also, if you want to be, like, for the fans, it's the one chance, like, if you get – was it this one? Yeah, yeah. This one was awesome. This one was a good one, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this was – yeah, 2016. They were, like, really – and I think that's probably because Kobe was in it and probably talking shit and saying things that pissed people off or whatever. There was also one, I believe, with Marbury, like, many years before that um because it is cool to watch like the absolute best of the best go up against each other that the west team is was like a dream team that was crazy maybe the greatest ever uh but i think and and they the two teams kind of already did this with the west and the east this year so it already sort of happened't exactly work, but I think you need to hype it up. The one thing that the NBA and all NBA fans and NBA Twitter and all that

always does is argue like era versus era and great versus great. If you just take the youngest all-star and the oldest all-star and you find like a middle point in their ages and you make it like rookies versus veterans and you just hype it the whole week up as like who is better, Anthony Edwards or LeBron James. And you just pit that against each other because that does get – that gets the internet and the people going, and I think NBA players are very in tune with all that.

So if all of a sudden people are like – if it's on the whole internet, it's like Anthony Edwards is better than Steph Curry or whatever. I think that gets a little bit of the competitive juices flowing. And then I think the same thing that MLB does with the Home Run Derby. There's a million-dollar prize for the Home Run Derby. Guys, take it seriously. Yeah. I think, but this, like, you can get hurt.

I think hockey has tried. Hockey's done America versus the world hockey's tried to like make it they're like some stakes a little bit and just ultimately if i get hurt i probably lose 50 million dollars so i'm not gonna get hurt i guess but if you were if you were to make five million dollars and you were like i'm probably not gonna get hurt but i could make five million dollars if there's like an mvp prize you play best if you're on the winning team and you're the mvp you get five million dollars cash i that would probably help but like i i think it's just there's too much money at stake i guess like for because then if that really is the case then they should just like i said come up with like you're you're doing just like other shit like don't even

play basketball yeah let watch them play fucking it's one of those things like i don't blame the players there's so much money at stake in in your contracts in your in potential endorsements stuff like that that like why would you get hurt in the next i would almost make the argument though that for a lot of these guys though like at least the the newer guys it is like a coming out party where it's like it's probably more important than your like your middle of the road regular season game if you want to like become a star and like on the map and market yourself and all that shit so i'd rather go hard because you it'd be just like there's so much social media now like covering regular season games like i i almost think there's a detriment if you do play hard where it's like

that's the fucking idiot out there playing hard yeah Yeah. You become like the Johnny in the gym, whatever. I think this year was such a breaking point that like – I don't think it's lame. I went to the 94. No. No, no, no. What year did the Fleet Center open? Whatever the all-star game in Boston and the NHL. And I went to that game and like I remember being there

and my dad was like he was like like go before even going to the game he's like don't get too excited they don't play hockey here yeah yeah it's it's not it's never gonna be like a full-blown game but I don't know there's got to be some happy middle ground I think if you offer a cash incentive and you and you strike into these guys egos a little bit because Because that's also the problem with the dunk contest is the egos. And the guys being like, it's worse to look bad than it's better to win. Right. That's what I thought of Jalen Brown.

I didn't see the dunk contest. But I saw Jalen Brown's quotes were awesome. Everyone's worried about getting memed. I don't fucking care. I want to have some fun. So bad, though. But like that. Did you see the dunk with the no look? I didn't. No, I saw the have some fun. So bad, though. But like that, like. Did you see the dunk with the no look?

I didn't. No, I saw the one where like. He jumps, catches the alley-oop, dunks it, looking at the rim, and then covers his eyes. It was like. I'm all for everything you just said. Like, if Jalen Rose. If Jalen Rose just had like. Jalen Brown.

Jalen Brown. Just had like the worst performance. If it was like, oh, that that was okay but give him the credit because he's an all star and he just wanted to play it was like oh my god it was so bad but that's another one there's so many guys on the internet who can do the

other problem is like I've seen dunks now that I never even could fathom because of social media and the internet just put those guys in the fucking thing yeah but also when you see them on social media you're seeing a clip when you see it in person and it takes him 10 10 10 tries i don't think it takes these guys 10 tries that's the thing but like mcclung wasn't it doesn't need to take him a ton he uh not a ton if you don't hit your first one you have to hit your first one that that is for sure. I mean, these guys are so good at these crazy ones that they'll make their first attempt on average ones for sure.

And then, like, when you get to the finals, you, like, you know, you pull whatever you got out of the bag. If you don't hit your first one, you, like, automatically cut in half. They also, I think this was the first time. It just sucks the air out of the room. It's not exciting anymore. Or you have to do a different dunk. You have two minutes. If you miss that dunk, you've got to do a second dunk.

Clem said something else, too, where once someone does something, it's crossed off. Yeah. Everybody jumped over someone. Nine out of 12 people, dunks, were jumping over people. And the scoring, at least as long as I can remember, every judge gives you zero. What is so impressive about that? What, the throwing an inch to yourself? That's pretty hard to do, bro.

But, like, is that any harder than just picking it up off him? Jumping over Shaq? You've got to have, like, an extra, like, half a second there. Like, that's hard. Again, I obviously don't know anything about dunking. That looks silly. It looks like you're trying to do something crazy. We're going to tag Mac McClung on that one.

John thinks it's silly. All the scoring used to be five judges, zero to ten, and then you added up to 50. And now everybody had a score to 50, and you were getting scores like 48.8. I was like, what the fuck are we doing? Also, Jacob Toppin got extremely – Totally screwed.

Did like a windmill 360 two hands and didn't make it out of the first round or whatever, right? This was the best talk of the night right here. And he didn't – I think this is it. No, that's not it. That's pretty sick too, though. It was like a – It would have been cool if he threw it an inch to himself.

Oh, yeah. Dude, if I tested three legs, two hands. All of Mac McClung's donks sound like a little tykes. I bet you if we gave you a five-foot rim, I don't know if you could do that. Just throw a ball to myself and then dunk it? You have to jump over something, grab the ball while you do it, throw it in the air, catch it, and dunk it on like a four-foot hoop. I don't think you can do it.

Find a four-foot hoop. We'll give you a garbage can. We'll give you a garbage can and a ball. You have to jump like over a chair, let's say. I mean, Mac McClung is like six feet tall. He jumped over a seven and a half foot tall man. So you actually should have to jump over something seven feet too, because you're about the same height.

Actually, you have a couple inches on. Well, I can't jump like him. Yeah, that's the point. He's high in the air that he can do these things. You have to do this. Holy shit, dude. I can do these things. You have to do this. Holy shit, dude. I can do that. I do feel bad for him.

On a hoop that I can do that in a heartbeat. On a hoop that what? On a lower hoop. I don't think you could. I know you cannot. Bro, a hoop that is here, at your eyes, I don't think you have the body control. It's all about just the movements of your body. Yeah, it's like being able to be a good a good dancer and like have like control of your body.

I can do that one too. Yo, you know what's crazy from Jalen Brown too? Bringing out Kai Sinet, who's 5'3", and putting him in a chair. Like what's the point of that? That's two people on each other's backs, but the other guy's squatted way down? Just do one person. With one guy fucking bent in half with another guy on his back. Do you think that one and a half people is not bigger than one people?

But, like, it's... Do you really think that? He's a big person. Do you really think if you take two five-foot people, two six-foot people, and one of them bends in half, that it's not higher than one six-foot person standing up? Kind of. but it doesn't it doesn't, yeah, logically it makes sense. It looks goofy.

It's a full person and then a half a person on top of it. But they're both bent in half. No, the other guy's not. He's just standing there with his fucking shoulders out. He's standing full up. I have to see it again. Mack McClung got screwed because he did, he he had some sick dunks but the vibe of the whole general idea of like that shit sucked just kind of

overshadowed him but all shack dunk was incredible incredible but the rest were just so bad and and there was a couple misses if you take those streetball guys who are on instagram and you pair them with uh it's almost like dancing with the stars and i know no one would ever do this so this is this is completely fictional but if you like maybe a couple days before the break you link up with a guy you almost talk that's crazy to jump over shack like that uh much more impressive than two half people look at shack he's spreading his legs he's not even standing upright all the way his head's at the rim dude um but like if you're gonna

Mac McClung's a G League guy right yeah so like if you're gonna do him no offense to the G League and him you might as well legit do the the internet guys uh because they can do the craziest shit ever the G League I feel like if you win MVP of the G League, you should just get a spot. You should probably get a look, right? Some players don't even play, so just put the MVP on the team. Right. Especially somebody as marketable as him. Right. Yeah, I mean, especially being back-to-back is like, you know.

The star of NBA All-Star Weekend, and I am giving it, I know it's only Februarybruary don't care he's hater of the year 2024 shack i'm sorry charles barkley charles barkley had the funniest line i've ever seen in my entire life i'm assuming this is a barkley original if it's not i apologize this is the first time i've ever seen it charles barkley is talking about skip bayless what are you saying near this he goes let me tell you how stupid some of these guys are on television. You know how much I hate Skip Bayless. I hate him with every fiber. Sometimes he makes me want to gain weight back so I can hate him with more weight.

That is hater of the year. That's the greatest line I've ever heard in my life. That is player hater of the year 2024 Charles Barkley. I wish I was fat again so there was more weight to hate him with. That is so good, dude. Charles Barkley deserves – I mean, it's not like he's underrated by any means. Everybody already knows. But I think he still almost is underrated.

He deserves a lifetime achievement award right now. He – you have to be, first of of all a hall of fame athlete so you have the accolades and you have to kind of have like a big size to you and a funny voice all the stars have to align for you to be able to even do this but then the fact he truly says whatever he wants like even during this he was like that's that dunk contest was terrible. He's on the fucking network being like, that was terrible. Like, that, you need that. There's nobody left who does that. And he's, like, on the network just being like, this shit sucks.

You shouldn't do that. Kenny Williams was kind of funny. Kenny Smith was funny, too. He kind of got roasted. I don't think it was necessary. I don't think it was. I think it was a little uncalled for. He's getting cooked.

No. Like, he. We're going to ask him. He he it was not a great comment he was saying sabrina should have shot from the women's three-point line but that's it i don't know i mean like she held her own from the men's three-point line so that she really did not need to you know step out of 29 she had a 26. A 26 beats other men in that contest, so it's not like, oh, wow, if you shot from your line, you would have competed and you got blown out from the men's line. But they fucking roasted him like he said, women belong in the kitchen. I mean, he got fucking flamed.

Yeah, he didn't deserve that. Because he obviously didn't mean it like that. But yeah, he was... If she shot from the women's line, she'd probably win. I think that it was, he obviously didn't mean it like that. He, but yeah, he was, he was, probably just like, if she shot from the home run line, she'd probably win. I think that's what he, that's really what he was saying. Like,

you know, Steph barely beat her. And if you think about it, she, she, uh, doesn't, you know,

she wasn't doing her thing. By the way, you want to see a crazy dunk? Cause I, I went down the YouTube rabbit hole of the dunk contest last night. And everybody, uh, everybody cites, uh, the J.R., J.R. Ryder, dunk because i i went down the youtube rabbit hole of the dunk contest last night and everybody uh everybody cites uh the jr jr rider through the legs dunk in 94 kind of like changed the game of dunks like oh nowadays no you know fuck people do it in game but at the time he ran down the

baseline went through his legs and dunked it and people were like what the fuck was that and if you go back google orlando woolbridge i think he was on the bowls in like late 70s early 80s orlando woolbridge through the legs this dude does not get any respect this was way before dunk contests were even creative like at all. It was guys were just, like, going up and, like, dunking with, like, their left hand or whatever. This dude, pull up his dunk contest dunk, say, through the legs on YouTube. He went, he goes behind the back, backwards through the legs, and dunks it. In 1984, like, before the runway dunk, before.

For 1984, that is like a time travel fucking dunk right there. Behind the back, backwards through the legs, like hook it over from the baseline, and nobody ever talks about that guy. But whatever. I mean, John can do all these dunks, so. Maybe that's it. Maybe we just put John in the...

I think we have to do this. Okay. You got to find the hoop, and I'll show up, and I'll do it. All right, deal. I will say this, too. I'm almost more... When I see an Instagram video, you know that big redhead who plays basement basketball? Love that guy.

When I see slow-motion videos of guys in their basement playing on a a little hoop that's more interesting than the nba dunk contest i'd rather see kids like that like like a kid going through like a little ball on a little hoop on the wall slow motion doing crazy shit like that that that's what we'll do with john we'll put we'll do it slow motion we'll put the music behind it we'll make you a star what's that kid's name i love that guy he has a nickname i don't even know it it's fucking great though um all right so let's do a couple voicemails and then we'll uh you got anything else no we just tried to go see the daytona 500 unfortunately we struck out but if you want to get in to see any sort of big sporting event or any sort of live event you won't strike out if you use GameTime.

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off download game time today last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed hey guys i have a question or i want to get your thoughts on something i I saw a TikTok where a girl was explaining the idea of catch up friendships, which is friendships from high school or college where whenever you see each other, you just spend the whole time catching up and you're not doing much else. But my opinion is that I don't really think that applies to a lot of male friendships. And if that makes me misogynistic, so what? But my logic is that I just don't think guys know how to catch up the way girls do. And I don't think that's news at this point. But whenever I catch up with friends I

haven't seen in, let's say, a year plus, it's like, well, you know, life's good. I don't like my job. My girlfriend broke up with me it's very simple and then like a minute later it's like oh man have you seen this video of this monkey shitting itself like i just don't think that we are good at catching up and so that we just don't do it and we're able to pick up where we left off so i just wanted to see if my logic is if you agree or disagree but i think i'm with them generally speaking yeah very very much i remember jackie telling jackie yeah remember jackie when you were talking about there was some guy you were mad that he wasn't like asking you enough questions and giving you enough details and everything was like one word answers and just like not not good

convo and then john came in and was like looking at his text and he was like man my friend's house burned down and we like went about the day kind of doing the podcast and then later jackie was like is your friend okay and he was like what are you talking about she's like the one whose house burned down he was like oh i don't know maybe she was like did he lose all his belongings i don't know like is his pet alive did his kids survive john's like i don't know i don't know man i just his house burned down i don't know and she was like oh yeah like they it's not him it's not this boy it's not me it's just all it's just i think a lot of us are pretty uh wired that way to just be like what's up what's up yeah i i i would very largely agree with that i don't i i think i don't know if it's personal or

if it's it's men as a whole or stuff like that but like i always think of a line and it's a repeat line it's not like a single line but like i watch a lot of like journalism movies and they're always like i just want to know your story and I don't give a fuck about your story. Your story, yeah. I don't care. Unless it's an interesting one. But even like – you can tell – I care about a story. I don't care about your story.

Like did something crazy happen? Tell me the story. But like I don't need a fucking point-by-point breakdown of what you've been up to since i last saw you i i feel you ever feel a little awkward with uh with barstool at all like there are times if i get together with my guys and they ask me a whole bunch of questions because it's more interesting than the average job yeah what's going on the mean girls really like that and like did dave really fire them and blah blah and i tell them all the stories and shit and then i'm like i mean i'm not to reciprocate.

Like, you know, how was the trading fest today? You know, tell me what's going on. Did you do that big presentation? See, I don't tell them. I'm just like, I don't know. It's crazy. Like, it's the last thing in the world I want to talk about. Don't get me wrong.

I'm with you. When the, you know. Gotta get the people they want sometimes. Because I think they are often coming to me. Like I have one particular, two particular friends who are always like, give me something, man.

What's happening? Like, give me the, give me the gossip. Give me the juice. Like they're just, they just want, you know,

they're just living their life regular. And they're just like, it's like a, it's like a old school. Like, you know, I need this. Yeah.

I'll give them the show and I'll tell them the story or the gossip. Like, who's fucking and who's whatever, blah, blah, blah. Who's fighting? But, you know, then when we're done, I'm like, like you said, like, yo, you seen that video on the internet? Like, that's the stuff I'd rather talk with my friends about, like, current stuff or show them current things than like talk about the last you know five months six months five years since we talked right you really want to catch up i don't we haven't seen each other in a long time i got a lot i got a lot of shit to tell you two kids now yeah right right hey for real so um but but i i think because largely i don't think catching up – catching up implies, I think, to me at least, like a timeline of events.

Yeah. And in 100 percent of timelines, like there's an interesting thing. Yeah. So just tell me the interesting thing. Right. I don't need to know the whole thing. And then this and then that and then this and then that. Just tell me the interesting part.

Is it – do girls really do this though, Jack? Do you think that – Yeah, yeah, 1,000 percent. and then this and that just tell me the interesting part is it do girls really do this though jack you think that yeah yeah 1000 like i think i've lost a lot of friendships because it's like we like we both have to know that like the next time we see each other has to be like a huge catch-up thing and then we're both kind of putting it off because it's like a whole thing but you both don't want to do it um it's just like there's a lot to cover like i i am genuinely interested but i also like my theory is like why kind of girls are like a little bit better listeners and whatever is because like you know like if you have like alcoholic parents for example you like you're you're like more inclined to be like socially awkward because you like you read into every single you have to like as a defense mechanism, you like have to read into every single mannerism.

Every single like, you know, to like if your dad comes home drunk, you're like, you're like, you know how to like. Where did you? I feel like I'm getting i'm getting this is my favorite jacket girl you lost me where did you read the the drunk the alcoholic parent theory because i don't think as far or do you just have alcoholic parents no no this is a tiktok thing no no my parents literally don't drink this is like a thing it's like you're um what's it called not socially awkward but like you're um social anxiety like you have social anxiety a lot of times when like a lot of people with alcoholic parents for example because you have to read into every single like facial expression every single mannerism whatever blah blah but don't i do that with regular people yeah exactly like it's not just like that's just an example of that to me that again i want to know

where this came from this tiktok um i this is i think that i've always known this theory okay you have a friend who has alcoholic parents no i feel like this is making it sound like i have alcoholic parents my point is that like as girls from a young age it's kind of the same thing where like everyone has a moment where like they some guy like you know when you're young like what's trying to help you get gas in your car and like you're like oh my god he's so nice and then you realize quickly like no he just wanted to fuck me like like there was some moment where you're just like oh shit like that could have ended badly and so you have to learn from a young age like read into mannerisms read into everything and so it's like i think that women are good listeners not necessarily because

like i am super invested in your life but i can just like read into like like i'll sit on date and like a guy will talk about his finance job but like i can tell it makes him happy like i guess this is making it sound like men like don't do this. But like I can tell that it's making you happy. And I am like very inclined to keep you happy. So even if you're not interested, you'll let them talk about it because he has alcohol and parents and he's happy to talk about his financial. Like I don't think I'm not explaining this well. No, but I know what you mean.

I am saying like even if you don't care about the topic, if it's bringing them, if it's bringing their interest in, they're happy. You just sit there – If it's bringing them joy and mercy. They're interested. They're happy. You just sit there and like kind of let them do their thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I guess the alcoholic parents thing is like it's just emotional intelligence. Do most people not do that? Like I'm constantly trying to read someone's vibe and doing what I can to make it feel the best for them.

Like not all guys do that. I was going to say I would imagine girls would say that most guys don't do that. You guys ask many more questions than the average guy, I would say. Yeah. I'm not shocked by that, but to me, I'm not even trying to be like, oh, people are assholes. It's just like that's the best way to have a conversation. Yeah, I don't think many, like especially if I was like on a date with a girl, it's – if you ask like a question or like a follow-up, I think it's usually greeted – like met with like, oh my god. If I'm on a date with – like I've – I would say 80% of the dates that I go on, they don't even know what job they never asked about. What job they never asked about.

I bet you walk away from a first date, that would be a good internet pit, like a good internet video. You sent people on a date, and then you leave, and you quiz the guy about the girl, and quiz the girl about the guy. I think you would,

guys would know nothing. I'm not even speaking to men-women interactions. You try and read what someone's comfortable with and how they're feeling about things bro and people will do any of this shit what are you talking about that's what are you talking about how people just fucking want to talk about their shit like people just want to complain about their boss so they just and they talk about their boss and then they're like did you see this thing and they want to talk about that thing and they're just talking at you and they're not noticing that you've checked out. You're like, whatever,

just fucking keep talking. I will 100% let you keep talking and stuff like that if that's what's making you happy. But like, when you talk about reading facial mannerisms, that comes from alcoholic parents?

No, that's... It's just like, we lost the throw of the alcohol. Let's just put that aside for a second. The alcoholic parents is like, I'm saying like, for example, just forget about the alcohol. I'm going to be honest, it's going to be pretty hard for me.

I'm also like... Fucking crazy thing I just said. You know how only polite people have alcoholic parents? Just let this breaks down no no no no no but like i the people who at some moment in their life have probably had to have like it like i think that girls have that whole thing built in where it's like you have to be able to like be emotionally intelligent or else you're gonna get yeah i mean really i was gonna say what you're really describing is emotional intelligence yeah and when and a lot of guys have it but a lot of guys

it's not like as built in with guys as i think it is with girls because it's not necessarily like a survival instinct for you and i think what comes of that is like you know tell me tell me about that tell me about your boss tell me about the other girls tell me about because it's like as a woman like if you don't keep the guy happy you could die yeah that makes sense that makes sense for sure i almost feel though like with uh i would challenge that it's probably you almost have to do more of that shit with your girlfriends to like keep the friendship. Yeah. Like with a guy, I feel like you could just be like,

you know, let him talk about his finance job, flirt with him a little bit, laugh a little, whatever. And you're like, you're good. Whereas a girl will be like,

can you believe she didn't even ask me about the breakup or like whatever. Yeah. I feel like that's, they're more prone to be, it's like harder to talk to the girls and the guys. That's why, that's why girl friendships are the best though the best those because you get to cover everything but then it's like then you get to like you know with a boyfriend or with a guy then it's just like i

can just chill i don't have to tell you everything i do remember what i think whitney cummings said it i think somebody told whitney cummings about it and she kind of popularized it being like your boyfriend's not your girlfriend like so don't expect him you can talk about these things and a boyfriend probably should be shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen or engage a little bit but like don't expect him to be that interested in the shit that you talk about with your girlfriend because he's your boyfriend not your girlfriend it's a pretty sound piece of advice i would say maybe not the fairest thing or the best thing but probably the most realistic thing that he's not he's not going to be like oh my god gretchen did what it's more just like oh okay you know yeah

oh i hear you i understand that's what friendships are a lot of work but they're like the best they're just the best you know like they got you nothing to say on that my experience unfortunately and what's that like jackie i usually yeah i usually see girlfriends eventually like almost inevitably all like tear each other to pieces so that's how that's my my uh i my view on that but i also know yeah when when you got your you-to-ride girls. But dudes are pretty cool, too, though. No, dudes are cool. Dudes rock. Hey, everyone.

So back in the day. Hey, I restart that. That was a move. What do you think of that move, John? Restart that real quick. Hey, everyone. That's a bad wink, man. That's a bad wink man That's a bad wink It was like

It was like a Hey everyone Wink's got That looked like a twitch I got a buddy who can't wink And insists on winking And we're always like Dude

Stop it You're not a winker Leave it alone Also It looks like I thought you were gonna be like I'm turned on That's why I was like

What do you think of this I was like I thought you were going to be like, I'm turned on. That's why I was like, what do you think? I was like, I think we're going opposite directions here. She's a very pretty woman. She's a pretty girl. I would just say don't put that in your repertoire. Because a wink – I don't even know if I'm going to wink either, but you've got to just be like a quick – you don't do like – You're trying to double up. You're trying to double up the wink. You don't do like – You're trying to double up.

You're trying to double up the wink. Well, the thing is – You can't do it at the same time. I think a kiss – a solo kiss would have just been weird if you were just like, what's up? Or hey, but the double – That's what I was doing all weekend with my lollipop. Bro, when you finally bit into that lollipop, it was like you reached the peak of Everest. I was just so tired of having a lollipop.

What was it? Made of like steel? It was – You crunched it and you went, the peak of Everest. I was just so tired of having a lollipop. What was it, made of steel? You crunched it and you went, oh, thank God. It was crazy. I wish it was on camera. You were holding on to it. And you went, oh, thank you, God. First of all, throw it out.

The trash was like 10 feet away. I can't do that. It was by the guy with the shovel. All right, let's get to the winker So Back in May I was planning on coming to New York City For work So naturally as one does

I slid into Fights' DMs Asking him To come on a date with me He never responded Which which is fine. I get it. It's fine. But it ended up being for the best because I ended up having a seizure while at work and had to ride in an ambulance with a co-worker to the hospital.

Maybe that's what happened with the wink my question is either uh what's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you on a date or um what's something that you were like really upset that didn't come to fruition in the moment but it ended up working out in the long run um so let me know two very different questions, if you have a change of heart, I'm still available. Just a little bit epileptic. Same thing with the ending. Maybe the beginning of the voicemail wasn't great, the ending was. Yeah.

Two very different questions. Worst thing that's happening on a date versus what's something like a uh blessing in disguise in your life damn i the day i've never had something you've never gone on a date yeah but like i've never had i've never i've never had one of those disaster i've been on dates with people i've never been on the first i've been on dates i've never had like a disaster yeah i don't think like i've never had like oh i shit my pants on a date or anything like that i i both shit my pants and and uh and clogged a toilet the clogging the toilet was so unfair the shitting in the pants was totally on me that one was crazy too though i mean i was just standing at the urinal it's never happened to me before and it never happened to me again i was just like i just blew it out the back i don't know how that happened

uh and the toilet was like you know if you have used a toilet in a normal way or in a potentially clogging way you know and this was a completely normal way so it was not even on my radar you know i just like flushed it and like i'm getting ready to leave and i'm just i was like no what what no no no no no no no this is not possible what no there's no way there's not enough in there and it just kept going and going and going and it was a total total nightmare um i wish i'd had something i will i mean like I've obviously gotten fucked up But like We both got fucked up

I don't think there's been a date where like She had a glass of wine and I had ten drinks Like we both had ten drinks You think? You wonder if you asked any of your exes If they'd be like Oh There's no disaster dates let me tell ya

They're Not I mean none stick out to me Mutually Well that's what I mean Like You think there's any none stick out to me mutually well that's what i mean like you think there's anything that stick out to her where you wake up in the morning you're like that was fun huh babe and she was like uh it was a nightmare i i we there have been bad times in relationships but like on like a date night or something like that again nothing sticks out i don't think that there would be something there for sure been bad nights

but like i don't think we're like i think like we agreed like tonight is going to be a nice night kind of deal. Yeah, there's been nights we were out until 4 a.m. and fucking chaos happened. Yeah, that's called a relationship. But the – I mean it's very unfortunate. I don't think – I got to get on that. I got to cross that off my bucket list. Ruin a night. Okay, I've ruined many a night, but not a night that was agreed.

We're going to have a nice night. I hear you. Do you have any, like, man, I wanted that to happen. It didn't. Thank God it didn't. Nothing's coming to mind. I'm very disappointed in myself. I don't think I have any of that either, though.

Like, no. This is so late. Or like a sliding doors moment sort of thing. What's sliding doors? You know, like, actually, I don't really know what sliding doors means. I think it means, like, you know, like things happening almost like at the same exact time. Like if I wasn't there, like because I wasn't there, this thing happened. You know what I mean?

What she's describing, I think it's just another way of saying it. Ships in the night sort of thing. There was this time where chicks slid into my DMs. That time I didn't check my DMs. She had a seizure apparently. That, no. God damn, this is so fucking lame. Give me an example.

Anyone got something? I need someone to fucking jog or something. Wait, of bad dates? Yeah. Or like, you know, so I've got these alcoholic parents. And I thought it was bad.

But then I was able to go on a date and have a conversation. Well, actually, one time I was about to order and I think something got rather stuck in my throat

or I was having an allergic reaction and I was like, I got the order. I was just hyping up like I know how to order. On a date? for a girl yeah yeah waiter came around and i could feel it coming as i see him come i'm like i know i'm not gonna be able to talk right now and he's like asking me questions i'm pointing at things because i can't talk about wait what were you

choking i don't know it was just my throat started closing maybe i was nervous this is this is i think you should leave sketch is it really oh no? Oh, no, it's you. You're like, dude, you're choking right now. I'm choking. It was Tim Robinson. I couldn't talk, and then she started to notice it right at the end, and she's like, are you choking right now? And I was like, yeah. And I was like, what the hell?

Because I was, like, just pointing at things, and I don't know. Shut up! I think it was because my eyes started watering. Oh, my God. What's your worst date moment, Jackie? shut up i think it was because my eyes started watering oh my god what's your worst date moment jackie uh i mean i had to wear a helmet on the day what's your worst not punishment date uh i mean like i've had a date where he was bad like the the guy who was like a um he got kicked out he like told me all in the first like five,

like 10 minutes that he got kicked out of school for sexual assault allegations. And then he, like when he got kicked out, his parents cut him off, which he made very clear also that his parents are very, very rich. And so cutting him off was really,

really uncool of them. And so then in order to make money he started selling drugs and he got addicted to the drug this i was like nobody's asking you don't have to tell me this then he got really addicted to the drugs and then he showed me he was like he was like 500 days sober which is good but he also had ordered also biggest red flag he ordered a dirty shirley at first and then and then i like dirty shirley it's like a shirley temple shirley temple with booze okay and so then i got a question about the sobriety then yeah exactly doesn't make i thought but he was like you don't have to be all the way sober like i don't have to

like i just can't do the opioids so then so then also i tried to like make fun of him for getting a dirty shirley and like he just didn't have a sense of humor like so it's like if you're gonna order a dirty show you have to be funny about the dirty shirt yeah yeah yeah it makes me like not hungover i was like that's the number one trick that should make you hungover anyways whatever point is and then he said that um since he got like the drugs thing obviously when he addicted and then had to get sober, like that wasn't a good source of income for him anymore. So he started an OnlyFans. And then he showed me the OnlyFans. I remember this.

I remember the OnlyFans. I remember all of these. The fact that it's the same guy. It's the same guy. All in the first like 30 minutes. It was insane. But you went on a second date, didn't you? No.

Oh, I thought that was the guy that you – No, no, no, no, no. That's a bad one. Yeah. That's up there for sure. That's up there for sure. That's the kind of date I'd have where I'd be like, I don't think I did anything wrong. It went great, I thought.

I'll probably see her again. We'll smash. Guys are so dumb. All right, last voicemail and then we'll get into Dante. Okay. KFC fights Jackie Sup. Guys are so dumb. All right, last voicemail, and then we'll get into Dante. KFC, fights, Jackie, sup, rest of the gang. There is a thing called the Bader-Meinhof phenomenon. A classic example of it is, like, you buy a new car,

and then you see that new car everywhere you look. And this show has given me a new example of it that really nobody needs. For the previous, previous you know 36 years of my life i'm pretty sure zero times had i put my dick away too fast after peeing and peed in my pants a little bit until feidelberg brought it up on the show now it's happened to me probably six times since then and it's really inconvenient And I definitely wish it didn't happen. So I'm just wondering if you guys have had or had any other examples of that. Maybe to look out for in the future.

Maybe forewarning. Or anything you can think of that might be similar. Anyway, fuck you fights for that. But otherwise, love you both and everybody on the show. Keep up the good work. Viva. I mean. Bro, six times.

You've got a great rate. I pee my pants every time I pee. Like, it's a 100%. Why do you do that? Huh? Why do you do that? I got stuff to do. Can't I stand there shaking my dick all day?

I give it two pulls and I'm gone. No matter what. Dude what Not no matter what There have been times where I was about to put it away And did another one There was a whole stream in there 90% of the time this wouldn't have happened This extra pull That was a lot of piss

I think I'm completely done I hate that i can't see jackie's face when you tell these stories because i know just how much she hates them that was a lot of piss dude i've been it's just crazy that you don't know how to pee it it's we've got a five-year-old man you don't know how to pee i know what it's from i know it's from my high school trainer. What did he say? He used to say it's actually – Three shakes you're –

He would say – I believe he said it before the Good Charlotte song because I think I was a freshman. I don't know when that song came out. But it was if you shake it more than twice, you're just jerking off. And the song is shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's okay. Shake it three twice, you're just jerking off. And the song is, shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's okay. Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself. Okay.

And I guess that just sticks in my head where I don't want to masturbate in public. I want to get arrested. Sorry. I'd rather walk around with piss pants and get arrested. I'd rather just have pee pants. I can't violate the terms of Good Charlotte. Dude, what is the deal with old people who pee and they spit so much? Like when they step up to the urinal, the guy spits in the urinal?

Why does everyone do that? I mean they're old and disgusting. I don't know. Yeah, that is an old man thing. Do you spit when you pee? No. I was peeing this weekend at NASCAR and got locked up. I never noticed that.

Yeah. That's an old guy. Got old guys spitting. As they're approaching it, their dick's not there yet, so they spit and then step up in one motion. So it's like the spit goes and the pee is there. I don't know what it is. Everyone feels the need to spit. It's disgusting, too.

That's crazy that I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Yeah. I've never seen that happen. You don't hear chicks hocking up loogies before they take a leak? The one thing we missed at NASCAR is the troughs that Joey kept talking about. That's something that the girls would never understand either. Imagine if the girls all just had to squat over a trough together. It's NASCAR.

You just got to fucking squat and pee. It's not a square. An example of that I don't know that's another one an example of that I feel like anytime I see an example of that it's not an example of that and I'm convinced it's the algorithm or something like this

well that's what I was gonna say as soon as I heard that I was like Jackie the. It actually is happening nowadays. As soon as I heard that, I was like, Jaggy, the simulation. But you search one thing, and then you do see it all the time now. That's not a coincidence. The simulation is just the rebranding of that angel theory. The worm for me is on a big owl kick, where it's like owls and furry wear. I had a weird incident with an owl where like i

went oh my god i literally thought that i was because you always hear like you can have like a mental breakdown in like your 20s and i'm always kind of anticipating that because i feel like i'm always on the edge and so then i'm on this walk one time what age this is a few months ago. Okay. And I'm on this walk and I, like, it was dark and I see this owl, like, perched on top of, like, this. This was in Santa Barbara. So, like, it was on, like, a little, like, whatever post. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I've never noticed that. Like, I walk by this little post every single day.

I've never noticed the owl, like, figurine on it because it was still. And then because it was dark, so I couldn't really see it. So then I'm walking by or I'm like walking right next to it. And I'm like, wait, the head's following me like this is a real owl. So I like look. I don't even look away. I look down for like maybe a second, grab my phone and I look up and the owl's gone. And I was like, oh, my God, it was never there.

Like I just pictured this owl like God, it was never there. Like I just pictured this owl. Like it was just, it was never there. But now, point is, I keep seeing owls everywhere and I just don't know what the world's trying to tell me about the owls.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, are you seeing owls in New York? Like owl, no, like owl, owl images

and pictures. Okay, like you're watching a movie or something, there's an owl and. Yeah. What, you watch a lot of Harry Potter? I did just watch Harry Potter, but. Yeah, like you're watching a movie or something. There's an owl and... Yeah. What, you watch a lot of Harry Potter?

I did just watch Harry Potter, but... Yeah, I don't know. I had a 100% feeling I was like, she watched Harry Potter. Owls are like the second main character.

But why was I inclined to watch Harry Potter? Because it's always on. Yeah. And it's a great movie. I know, but it wasn't... Why was I inclined to watch one of the most popular movie franchises of all time? It's not just Harry Potter.

It's like owls are everywhere. Okay. Owls' presence in your dreams. That's a little different. An owl's presence in your dream invites us to explore our inner wisdom, embrace change, and seek insights that can guide us on life's journey so so so to sum it up owls are a sign of wisdom or knowledge all owls are often associated with qualities qualities such as intelligence insight and awareness in many cultures owls are also seen as a symbol of death or bad omens dreaming about an owl yeah i got one too i also think like you know how my coma theory i just think that like there's an owl in my hospital dreaming about an owl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got one too. I also think like, you know how my coma theory, I just think that like

there's an owl in my hospital room. Dreaming about an owl may therefore suggest that something negative is about to happen. Shit. I just Googled it and it says,

sometimes you see animals. No, an owl is such a specific, like the amount of owls that have come into my life within the past two months has been like, okay, I get it. You see animals every once in a while. This is an exceptional amount of owls.

I want you to text us every time you see an owl. I saw that one owl, and then I watched Harry Potter, and I can't get away from it. Harry Potter was like a tenth of the owls I saw. Harry Potter, that was like one example of the owls I saw. You don't even know the owl's eyes. So many owls bringing letters. Alright, I'm done with this.

Where else have you seen? I'm not keeping track of my owls. It's just like every... There will be owl graphics and owl... I don't know. I don't know. Okay, so let's...

I'll start sending you all the owls. Yeah, I was going to say, let's text every time there's an owl. Okay. You really know you're on the verge of a mental break when you see an owl and your first thought is, that was a mental break. Because the owl wasn't there. I do love her coma theory that, like, okay, so let's play this out. You're in a coma in a hospital room. And what?

There's just a fucking owl flying around the room? Well, there's actually an owl in New York that is trying to rape everybody. Have you heard of this? No. You guys haven't heard of this? No. There's like an owl on the loose and like he really is like trying to fuck all the humans. And he's like a huge owl too.

Look at him up. While we're doing this. This might have been a dream. I'm going to get ahead of this. I mean, I got nothing. I typed you three keywords. Bro, you're dreaming about Ray. All right, never mind.

I take back everything I said about the owl thing. You got an owl problem, Jackie. He's got a real problem. No, no, no. Wait, I'm pretty sure this isn't a dream, though. Wait, it's not. Like, everything over the last ten minutes I said, I take all of it back. You got an owl issue, and we got to figure it out.

Wait, is nothing coming up on Google? Zero. Nothing. No, no, no, no no there is an owl that was trying to rape all of us i know it i know it i i jacklyn jacklyn this is the first time i think i'm actually nervous bro congratulations you flipped me congratulations you've completely flipped me you invented a raping owl you got got an owl problem. Terrorizing Manhattan. You invented a Batman villain in your head.

We type in horny owl. I know it's a thing. Maybe it's not. There's wine coming up. Maybe it's not. I mean, that owl does look horny as hell. What are you... Jackie, what's happening? I mean, I obviously can't explain this one.

I don't know. I think the mental break is here. Flocko the owl. What? Flocko the owl. I mean, I found that. If you type in NYC owl, there is something about... Oh, he just doesn't rate people.

It's just that there's an owl. This is from 2023 that there's an owl that was seen in New York City. Okay. Well, it's a bad look for me. The rape is going to be a pretty huge part of this. I'm not going to give you credit unless the owl is doing something. I could have told you that, yes, there once was an owl in New York. It's a little bit weird.

He's a peeping Tom. Oh, maybe this is it. He's a peeping weird. The owl has to have at least one big tongue. Oh, maybe this is it? He's a peeping Tom. Okay. All right, we're getting there. All right. Okay, so what? I've never been more pro-rape.

Come on, this owl's got to get at least somebody. So he probably was just sitting on a tree looking through somebody's window while they were hooking up. And there was one example of it, and it became Jackie and the Raping Owl. That's a fair amount of strong words. Escaped owl maybe on a hopeless hunt for love in NYC. Oh, my God. We're getting there. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll give you a passing grade on this. Yeah. There's enough. By the way, it was – I mean, I guess it's not that long ago, 2023. All right, so I'm back to where I started then. Okay. Like, there could have, yeah.

Which is still, you're crazy. It's just a different kind of crazy. It's like, at least it would be crazy if I pulled that out of thin air. Yeah, yeah. If you're dreaming about rapist owls, we've got to figure stuff out. But then it's based on something. But your dream is based on reality in some sense. Okay.

It's that odd for an owl to be in New York City? Not that odd, but I mean, I think this one specifically escaped from Central Park Zoo or wherever the fuck it was, so they were like, we're missing an owl. Yeah, because I think there was an owl in... In Central Park. Yeah, it was in Home Alone. I think there was an owl in Central Park. Well, the fuck it was. So they were like, we're missing an owl. Yeah, because I think there was an owl in... In Central Park. Yeah, it was in Home Alone. I think there was an owl. Well, there you have it.

Well, it was in the pigeons. It was pigeons. I think there was one owl. It could have been an owl. Yeah, in that fictional movie. Dude, there's no owls in Dewey Park. Home Alone's bullshit. No, but Flacco, the story about Flacco

was that he was possibly trying to woo a female horned owl called Geraldine, who has been living in Central Park since January 22. So there's a couple owls around. I think it's enough of a rarity that people would go, holy shit, there's an owl. And Jackie goes, holy shit, that owl's trying to wreck me. All right, we got there. We landed the plane. We got there.

All right, let's get into it with Dante fire has always had a sidekick smoke it's like Jackie and pavs right who's do we do this already who's the fire who's the smoke we didn't do this okay who's the fuck Jackie's the fire yeah Jackie's

the fire you're the fire I don't know you tell me would you do you want to be the fire you want to be the smoke no Jackie's the fire well I guess I don't What does that mean? I don't know. You tell me. Do you want to be the fire or do you want to be the smoke? No, Jackie's a fire. Well, I guess in this case. I don't know if you really want to be the smoke. Well, knowing where this goes, I want to be the fire. I don't want to be the smoke because the smoke's gone.

Valid point. Valid point. Jim's on fire. With the solo stove, smoke just disappears. We haven't gotten to the part of the show yet where Jackie reveals her dreams, but that's the fire. She's bringing the fire. She's bringing the fire. Jackie dreams of bringing the fire.

The smoke, when you're talking about solo stove, the smoke disappears because all solo smoke – what are those called? What are they called? Fire pits? Yeah. Because all solo smoke fire pits are designed physically to wick away all the smoke so that you don't get smoke in your hair, smoke in your eyes, or smoke on your clothes. Whether you are roasting marshmallows, whether you're having a bonfire to stay warm, whether you're burning wood, whether you're camping, whether you're tailgating, all of it, the design of uh makes the smoke go up in a cylinder and it like whisks away up into the air so that you don't get any of the smoke while still getting all the enjoyment of the fire they also have different sizes different styles the most popular is called the bonfire it's perfect for backyard hangs but it's also portable you can bring it to your tailgates

they also make high heat ceramic coated colors so you can get like more of a pottery almost type look with different colors. And they also have cast iron griddles, grilling cooktops, all of that stuff so that you can tailgate and grill. They got a heat deflector for extra warmth for the crew. So everything you need to benefit from fire without the drawbacks of smoke. And each pit is backed by a guaranteed lifetime warranty. You can even get it etched with your favorite NFL team. So head over to SoloStove.com and use promo code BARSTOOL20. That's BARSTOOL20 to get $20 off a Solo Stove of $199 or more and ditch the smoke for good.

You're not healthy, John. I'm really tired from fucking your father. What the fuck is going on with you? The Don is here. What's going on with me? I told you last night I was busy with your dad. I finished that. Valentine's Day with your father.

Took him out to a nice dinner and I fucked him. Gave him some chocolates. He sucked my dick. What do you want? Don, it takes me like 20 minutes to put a plane lance. What are you doing? Are you busy? I was some guy and I said, yeah, I'm your dad.

Leave me alone. Yo, the Don. This is a depressing Valentine's Day. You? Well, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. How come? Valentine's Day. Well, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it because there's levels of depressing and then there's

levels... There's the, I'm done talking to girls who don't love me tweeting levels of depressing. I don't know what you're talking about. And then there's another level... My boy was down! There's another level of screenshotting

and putting it on your Instagram! You maniac! What's wrong,. My boy was down. Burn. There's another level of screenshotting it and putting it on your Instagram. You maniac. What's wrong, bro? Talk to me. That's what we do. This is what we do here. It's like half podcast, half therapy. Talk it out, bro.

Let's read it verbatim. I don't know what you're talking about, but I do want to. Do you just fucking have alerts on my tweets or something? I come in every day. He goes, you see Dante Sweet? Yo. You see Dante Sweet? You see Dante Sweet? Yo! You see Dante Sweet?

You see Dante Sweet? You see what he posted? You know what's fucked up? Is you never acknowledge anything, but you fucking spy on everything. I don't, honest to God, I don't have any alerts on my phone for anything.

I just, it's, I don't know. It's the algorithm. Once you start looking at the Don, it just feeds you more Don. It's not even, it's bigger than the algorithm.

Like, it's fate. It's bigger than the algorithm. Whenever I just check, fate. Some things are bigger than the algorithm. It's fate. It's bigger than the algorithm. Whenever I just check fate, some things are bigger than the algorithm. Right now, I'm the Joker hanging upside down. You're like, dude, what the fuck?

I'm like, dude, we gotta do this forever. It really is. You two are destined to do this dance forever. Started Blackout Tour, and you guys didn't even realize it. Now 20 years later, it's still just like a snake in a mongoose. It's just back and forth, back and forth. Read the tweet.

Read the tweet. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Read the tweet. I don't know what anyone's talking about. Were you drunk last night? Yeah, dude. I fucking went to dinner by myself on valentine's day in new york city sitting around i overheard the worst fucking first date you've

ever heard in your first date valentine's day crazy town this guy right he's sitting back to back with me with girls actually like pretty attractive and he had a brutal french accent and was just spitting crypto talk to her non-stop crypto's doing pretty good but like like detailed crypto talk like talking about yield rates and like blockchain shit and all this and i was just like man this girl must be having a worse night than I am. And I'm sitting there thinking, man, maybe it could be worse. Then fucking 20 minutes later, they're fucking making out. That guy knows games. In the middle of Via Corona.

I'm like sitting in the fucking bar looking in the mirror just like, all right, I'm going to go home and read Don't Kill Yourself books. I got to stop falling for girls who are still in love with other people. Done with this, man. Done with this. I got to start falling for girls who like crypto. You seem to. It's rough, man.

It's fucking rough. Who cares? Are you really upset about being single? How do I? Dude, it's fucking. It's been like two years now. Has it really? Yeah, man. It doesn't feel it until I think about it.

And I'm like, fuck, I'm starting to get old. Starting, huh? You got that salt and pepper well, though. Starting to get old. I can't fucking hang as long. I was in a world of hurt after super bowl like that used to never happen to me i used to bounce right back can't bounce back anymore i'm getting gray hair i i irish goodbye to the dozen party at like 10 30 i think yeah and then you flew

home i text you the next day like yo what's going on you're like i'm back in i'm back in new york i was i was literally in new york city when you're like you fucking what were you just waking up i was like dude i'm back on new york i was i was like come to grog beach you were like i'm in new york bro but i like never like irish goodbye like like i was like i gotta get fucking out of here and just out. I didn't say goodbye to you intentionally. Yeah, because you know he's trying to bring you down. Bring you down with him. We're staying until 4 a.m. I mean, tell me your ways.

How do you deal with the lonely, bleak outlook on the future? I'm not used to this. Just day by day, brother. Minute by minute. I also don't think you view it as lonely. You like the alone time. I enjoy being alone, but I also do not think past tomorrow. Really?

Not even a little bit. With anything? Anything. What's the point? Bro, I'm telling you, he's being dead serious. I mean. Oh, I believe it. I just want to know the rationale behind it.

Why? So you don't feel like you. It's the most logical thing to do. So you don't understand those kind of tweets? Okay, what about, like, what about, like, family? Like, I know you're close to your family. Your family's never like, hey, we're kind of worried about you. We don't want to.

Man, that's guinea talk. We don't want you. We don't want to. That's guinea talk. We don't want to. We don't want to. We're Irish. We don't talk. Period. That's like every culture except Irish. No one's ever asked me, like, are you going to get in a relationship?

Are you going to have a kid? Like, never. Stay out of my fucking business. Shut the fuck up. Never. Your parents have never been like, yo, you've given us grandkids. We don't want to see you die alone or anything like that. Absolutely not.

I don't believe that. Well, now, but to be fair, we've talked about this. Why would I lie about that? I wouldn't call it on someone. I don't bring it up either. This is true, and I believe it also for multiple reasons, though. One, there are other kids in the family doing that. So, like, they're getting their grandkids.

Yeah, they have grandkids. They're watching their kids. And I think they are very – I think more people and more families need to be like this where it's like we have sons and daughters who are who are into this and we have one who's like not and that's okay that doesn't mean that like john's a failure or less than it's like they have they settled down and had kids or or got married or whatever john hasn't done that but like he's doing his sketch show he's doing the podcast he's like as long as he's doing his sketch show. He's doing the podcast. He's like,

as long as he's happy, you know what I mean? Now, if you, if you were like fucking showing up to Thanksgiving like this, you know, they might be like, oh my God,

can we help you? All that shit. But you're not. So they're just like, if you're good, I'm good. You know, rough.

Yeah. Like I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I actually might be able to honestly say I'm happy right now. And the, if I was, like, calling and be like, oh, I need a girlfriend, they'd be like, get a girlfriend, weirdo. I'm good. Yeah, bro, you, you, you just, you just aren't getting, like, the girlfriend you want.

If you want to, if you, if you're really, like, that upset about being alone, you could go get a girl friend pretty quickly. You had a good job. You're a good looking guy. You have a lot going on. You could. You getting pussy? It's rough out there, man. You getting no pussy? You getting no puss? Can you believe he's getting no puss?

Bro, bro. Bro, I don't think you can call yourself the Don if you're not getting any puss The Don used to get puss The Don I know got puss Hey, turn the cameras off real quick No one's watching When was the last time you had sex?

You don't think I know this game? When was the last time you got a little puss? Dude, it's different It's fucking different Once you get all Hey, let me ask you something Are you dick still working? Yeah

When was the last time you used it? Oh yeah, dick game strong Are you on performance enhancing drugs? It's different. It's fucking different. Once you get on. Let me ask you, are your dicks still working? Yeah. Okay. See Alice? When was the last time you used it? Oh, yeah. Dick game strong. Are you on drugs or are you on that natural? No, I can't do. Natty? I told you.

How many times do I have to have the drug conversation with you guys? I can't do drugs because I have a bad heart. I can barely drink fucking espresso. Never mind take dick pills that are gonna like put all the blood in your day yeah that was so funny on the black I thought I was like I can't have a Red Bull meanwhile I've slept in four days yeah did any drugs in the black answer no man that was kind of like a yo I guess so I get so jealous people sometimes that I get to see, like, do coke and Adderall and stay up for days.

But you stayed up for days. Yeah, dude, if I could do coke and Adderall, I would take over the world. I was going to say, I'm very impressed. I didn't know the Blackout Tour was all natural. If you were doing that shit natural. I mean, it was Jaeger and Rumpelman's or McGillicuddy's field. I wouldn't say, oh, natural. But still, I mean, the fact that no uppers on that is pretty fucking crazy. So wait, what has happened more recently?

You got laid or you got jumped? This is fucking great. I'm so glad i thought i was gonna come on and we're gonna like have a fun was that fun i thought i thought we were gonna talk about like yeah talk about like office drama and all this shit no it's just been firing squad i've been laid since April. Okay. Thank God. Okay, good. It's almost been a year. Since you got laid? Since fucking my face got rearranged. And the trial just started.

Yeah, that shit takes forever. You gonna testify? Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah? He's gonna skate on some bullshit. You know what's gonna happen? Lori Lightfoot's gonna come in and wave her pen and make something happen in Providence. She's going to call in a favor to Providence.

This guy's going to walk free, and she's going to show up at the courtroom and just look at Dante and go, You imagine. Payback, bitch. What do you want to say about office drama? Nothing. I thought that's what you guys were going to try to dig up and stir up. Well, you just brought up office drama. I didn't even know there was office drama.

What's the office drama? Oh, just the last few weeks, all that. What do you think of it? All the radio shit and all that. What do you think of it? I think it's typical barstool over dramatics. Which team are you on? Team Tate?

Really? No team, to be honest. Team Dave? I think it's been cool seeing nate take his thing and do it and i've loved getting my little 10 minutes of shine on it it's been fun yeah i was gonna say how did you uh did you sidle up on there did he ask you to be on that uh he hit me up and he he was like what are you doing on fridays and i was like before you ask I was like I'd love to support what you're doing in any way shape or form and he was like perfect he was like I have the best idea

and he pitched in I was like fuck I don't want to I don't want to seem like I'm like mad at the world every week and he was like oh well let me tell you something on that you seem like it every day forget about every week i hate to pop that little bubble over your head you are it is it's a we know we say this every time you're on the show it's the greatest juxtaposition between an internet person you're a delightful person in person i read your shit i'm like this guy you're like you're like a homicidal like a homicidal like flag, red pill, truther freak. And then I see him, and it's like we talk about music. What did you think of this new album? You're like, well, honestly, I genuinely mean it.

He's like one of the nicest guys I've ever met. And then on the internet, you're like, pick your sides. The Civil War is here. Oh, that's right, dude. The Civil War was started. It's begun. Pick your sides. You're crazy.

And then he does that laugh. He knows it. Like, when he just laughs and looks at you, he knows it's a crazy person. Misunderstood. Misunderstanding. Dude, that was, I completely forgot about that. When you were on Barstool Radio, and you were like, I don't know why everyone thinks I'm like a psycho.

And then, bro, 12 hours later, it was like, pick your sides. The Civil War has begun. That's so great. Wherever would they get this idea? Oh, it was the most unhinged person. The guy with the go bag in a panic room has announced the civil war has started he's like what the fuck's ever wrong with everyone bro you have to remember you have to remember that there's like five of us that know you for

like a long time the rest of these people if you're new here and you're just like oh that's dante he was the blackout tour guy now Now he writes blogs. Let me follow him. And they see that shit. You know what? They're like, you're crazy. You're right. You know what? You're exactly right. I think that people know me a lot better than they know me.

That's on me. That's something I need to keep in mind. Did you ever do the Go Bag blog? Did ever do your go back blog uh dude i'm trying i'm trying to finish it but every time every time i go back to it i'm like oh i forgot this well that was part of a go back and i'm also afraid that I'm going to post it and get destroyed by the real crowd. They're going to be like, you don't even have this, that, and the other. Yeah, and they're going to be like, you're fucking dooming these people. I mean, you're an expert.

I'm nervous about that. Is there a poser in that community? Dude, I'm nowhere near those people's level. Nowhere near. I remember I had asked you. I was like, where's the go bag blog? And you were like, this is serious business. I'm working on it. And I was like, that's exactly the angle you have to have.

Yeah, totally. I want this to be dead fucking serious. I'm going to save your lives. This is a PSA as if Walking Dead has, and everyone needs to read this blog to survive. That's what I want you to do. Also, some of the items have expired, and I had to reorder them, and they're backordered. So I've been waiting for them to come in.

Give me a little taste. Gas masks, canisters. Those expire, which I didn't realize. How often do they expire? That's not a very good go-bag product. Maybe it is. These freaks have to re-up every three years. I think they last three years.

What a racket that is. End of the world's coming. Buy it every three years. Dante buys it 20 times over the next 60 years. Water filtration stuff. What's the most important thing in a go-bag? Is it the weaponry? Is it go bag? Is it the weaponry? Is it the foods? Is it the medical items?

That's a tough... I would honestly say the water filtration thing. Yeah, that's probably good. Because you can't live without water. I think the first... You got to have your water filtration. You got to have some weapons.

And the first thing you do is take out and take over a pharmacy. Because he who has all the meds becomes king never even thought of that you're right you got a lock up you never thought of that no i mean first aid is essential yeah but you also got about like the junkies you got like yeah like everybody was like i need it it's like well i got it so you got to give me right i've seen every apocalypse movie it's the first place they go do Do you like apocalypse movies? He lives apocalypse, bro. No, like, that stuff is kind of like, I don't know, it's not that realistic.

Like, the zombie ones and all that, what are you talking about? I know, he just watches Guinea stuff. No, I just watched the Obama one on Netflix. That was scary as hell. That's right up your alley. Oh, that's right. You wrote a blog about that. What was the blog? What was the point of the blog? Why can't I think of the name of it right now? Leave the World Behind. That's right up your alley. Oh, that's right. You wrote a blog about that. What was the blog?

What was the point of the blog? Why can't I think of the name of it right now? Leave the World Behind. Yeah, Leave the World Behind. I liked that a lot. Yeah, very well done. I liked how it was an apocalypse movie, but it was done from perspective of like... Yeah, I think some people were like they wanted more apocalypse.

I like that angle. I appreciate the angle. I thought it was going to be your typical like apocalyptic movie. That movie is really – Very realistic. If something like that were to happen, it would just be confusion. Exactly. And like, wait, what?

But it wouldn't be like explosions and action. Which makes it really fucked up that they put that out. Yeah. Why? Because you don't think that's fucked up that a put that out yeah you know i mean that's you don't think that's fucked up that a president was like dude and not only did they produce it and put it out but they wrote i forget the guy who's directed it uh famous director they wrote him like notes like make sure it's gonna happen make sure you You portray this as this And like Obama hand wrote

Notes and was like Oh yeah Well then what do you think So you're So you're like It's fucked up A movie producer Made an apocalypse movie

Yeah I think I think it's like Like that movie's made Like every year We make an apocalypse movie No but he's saying It's a little more Like real and specific

Very real Like if you have an ex-president Being like here Here is something that I know about these things. It was very realistic. What do you mean? It's definitively not realistic. Oh, I think what Kevin just said, I think if it goes down, it goes down exactly like that.

But that's not realism. That's your imagination. That's what you're thinking. How about the next movie coming out, the Civil War movie? That, I think think is fucked up and i think it's i think it's fucked up that hollywood's putting something like that out you think they're planting the seed at a time like this rallying the people dude this world this world and this country are so fucked up that's the last thing we need right now

it's like a rallying cry yeah yeah like i saw saw the Jesse Plemons movie. It's time for Civil War to start now. Also the crazy shit about that. Whoa, whoa, is that fucking the guy from Parks and Rec? Let's fucking war up, boys. I think you're discounting it. Okay, I'll bet you a thousand dollars right

now that after that movie comes out, Civil War doesn't start. I'm not saying that it's going to. I'm saying that I don't think it does any good putting something like that out. Most movies are pretty bad. You think that kid should shoot up schools for video games and stuff? I think it's going to resonate with wackos that are going to be like, see, we can do it. All we have to do is, the mistake they made is... So what you're telling me is Dante is anti-free speech?

No. No, I think there's things that are... That's exactly what I'm hearing. I think there are things that are tasteful and things that are distasteful, and I think it's also like a logic thing. Like what good does putting something like that out make? What good does the most new segments have?

Dude, I feel the same way about some horror movies, like that fucking – that Strangers movie. Did you ever see that? Yeah, I actually don't find – I don't love horror. Those movies, I'm like why – Just giving the idea. Who thought of this and why did this get made this is just gonna give people fucking ideas i've always said the directors that come up with some of those things should be locked away pre-crime dude if you can come up with some

of those saw you know booby traps and some of those plots of like yeah they just the guy just rolls in your house and kills you because he wants to you've got some darkness too exactly and that's what i'm talking about like why does that like they should they almost people should look at like nice movies no no but it's almost like people should look at like your body of work and decide like that person's crazy and we need to like lock them away and throw away the key like like go to somebody's social media and like read through all their tweets and and and once they see that you know there's a general theme there be like we have to keep an eye on this guy right do you agree yes i agree and i see the point you're making i walked right into it

no isn't that the worst when you're like i know exactly what you're doing, and I get it. I need some social media coaching. Not for me. No, you don't actually, though. That's what makes you interesting. You're supposed to do the best. Yeah. I mean, we talk about it once a week.

It's called, Did You See Dante Sweet? I'm telling you, I think maybe I would reign it in if you guys acknowledged it more, other than just, like, screenshots and, like, texts or bringing it up on KFC Radio. Oh, so you want us to publicly— You know who else does this? And not to fucking name drop and kiss my own ass, but Gronk does this all the time, too. He will bring up things that I tweet out weeks after. Yeah, I'm sure he does. Dude, what the fuck was that about?

We got to get Gronk on here to just do a Dante test. He'll be like, what are you talking about? I'll be like, on Twitter, you posted Sosa. I'm like, oh, you saw that? He's like, oh, I see all your tweets. Why don't you ever fucking say anything? Because you can't just casually retweet a Civil War tweet, Dante. You say things where it's like, I don't want to get into this.

It's a very classic retweet does not equal endorsement sort of thing. Like if you were to just talk about music, I'd retweet your shit. Yeah, your internet world is a world I don't care to live in i don't want to i don't want to dive into that darkness do you know how fucking disheartening that is to hear you say my internet world is somewhere you don't want to live so my real world's a place you don't want to yeah you're in like the fucking dark web and you're telling me you're supposed to stay away from mine? Yeah, dude. Dude, that is a low blow if I've ever had one.

Jesus. So wait, what are we going to do? We got to get on the dating apps or what? We got to get you wifed up. No, I refuse. Those things. Did you ever do that? Like way back in the day when they first started.

Yeah. Not a fan? No. Now, I just, you in the day when they first started. Yeah. Not a fan? No. Now, I just – you don't hear anything good about them now. Like your friends that are on them are just like, yo, it is fucked. You watch these like – But isn't that weird that everybody says that? So it's like, I don't know.

Can't you all – doesn't it all cancel out? I think it's pretty standard people complain about dating. Right. I was going to say just now the way you date, the same way people used to be going out to the bar or like getting set up with a matchmaker all that sucks. It's now just online dating. I see stuff like

it's one thing to have like bad interactions with people but like I've never done it either but like I'll see like I'll be looking at Reddit and there'll be like on the front page like a fucking screenshot of someone's hinge profile or whatever and I'll be like that's like the stand like you get asked that question you have to answer that question crazy like that's i think jackie's on the other day she's like it's impossible for me because like the person i would like would not answer

these goddamn fucking questions oh yeah that's the other thing is i'm like the person that you're like looking for not no offense isn't going to be fucking on one of those well yeah it's like how do you take the most like uh unscripted you know love emotion like it just kind of happens fate and like put it into a a questionnaire on the internet you know what i mean of course so and i don it into a a questionnaire on the internet you know i mean of course so and i don't even blame those sites for like using those questions because like what else what how are you how else can you right the very notion of taking like meeting someone and falling in love and turning it into a website basically already is like we're doing it wrong you know dude what's really crazy and to harp on how fucking old I'm getting,

this younger generation now, like, only knows that world. It is bizarre. Dude, the fact that those kids will never know the fun or excitement or even the struggle of, like, going up to a girl at a bar, trying to get her number, getting shot down, being embarrassed, but then sometimes you win, and then sometimes you hook up. All of it was like a rush. Bro, that and go back a few years before that, like before the bar scene, when you were in school and like...

You got a crush on a girl. Talk about pressure, dude. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you fucking got shot down, the whole fucking school knew it. And you had to show up again the next day. But that still happens. Yeah, probably. Not on the fucking apps.

What are you talking about? You think people don't get shut down in school and gossip doesn't happen? Yeah, but I think you're just right back to the next one. You know what I mean? Dude, these kids today, I'm telling you. They're volume shooters, dude. Exactly. It's volume and it's all electronic.

Like, they don't fucking talk in person. I see it. Where? You got kids? Dude, my bars. The people that work for me. You got kids in your bars? I'm talking like college age kids and shit.

But I mentor a kid in high school right now. What do you guys talk about? I have a little brother through big brother big sister you got one for the yeah he got shot down you did yeah he got shot down but reasonably so and so should have you i'll put in a good word for you do they do they check no i'm i'm i'm so that just like gave me like goosebumps i'm so happy you did that we need we need fucking mentors so bad it was a long time It wasn't a long time ago

It was probably like five years ago And they were like We're all set Did you do the Like screening Yeah They were like Nah you're good

Wow I think it was more than five years ago Bro they'll take like Anybody Apparently not It wasn't I think you were pretty young It was like a different

Organization But like it was like You haven't been to college We're all set. You'd be great. I would be? Oh, yeah. I don't know.

Dude, you'd be great. You send back some seventh grader who has a dystopian view of the future. Well, my mentor told me none of this matters, Mom. Tomorrow I might be dead, so I'm not even going to do my homework. Dude, though, I mean, one of the best movies ever, Role Models. Yeah, great movie. It's not like that at all. These kids are not like little Ronnie.

They are like, yo, dude, this kid listens to fucking hip hop that makes me act like my father. Like, yo, what the fuck are you listening to, man? How old is he? He just turned 15. And you meet up and have like? Like once, twice a month. Just take him to dinner, take him to Bulls games. You talk a lot?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we text, but this is like what I'm saying is I ask him like what's going on and hear these stories, and it's like him and his friends, they only talk through text they only facetime uh in school it's like very like almost like they're not in jail but i mean that sounds like terrible to say but they show up and they're miserable until they get out. And then when they get out, they're like immediately on FaceTime all day. And they do group FaceTimes. So he'll be sitting in my car with like, yeah, I know, six people.

And he'll just be sitting there having a conversation with me. Then he'll go quiet. Then he'll start talking. I'll be like, what? And he's like, oh. He has his earpiece in. That's insane. That, you got to nip in the bud.

That's just downright rude. How long do you do that? He's like, oh, it's like what we do. Yeah, it's like just go to your friend's insane. That, you got to nip in the bud. That's just downright rude. How long do you do that? He's like, oh, it's like what we do. Yeah, it's like just go to your friend's house. You know what I mean? We used to go to somebody's house and I'll hang out in their basement or hang out in their backyard or whatever. They don't want to do that shit.

But they have like no social skills if it's not on a device. That I get. That is disheartening or whatever it is. But that's probably. They'll be fine. That's probably the way it's going to go though. I mean it's a little bit different when you go – when society goes through like a full-blown revolution

because there really is no comparison to the old generations. But I'm sure there was something to be – like all these kids are just listening to the radio and all these kids are just watching television with older generations. We were in chat rooms. They're playing video games online. Right. But this feels particularly like hyperdrive. Watching television with older generations. We were in chat rooms. We were playing video games online. There's always something. This feels particularly like hyperdrive.

Watching a television show is still like you're sitting with your family and stuff like that. I think people would have said this feels particularly hyperdrive about every new thing. You think so? Because I feel like all this, again, television and radio and stuff. But if people are now, half the society is walking around with the goggles And half society is not That's going to be a weird thing Also there's like no level But that was the same thing with phones

I guess so yeah There's like no levels of Not security but I mean think about Back when we were trying to like ask girls out You had to ask her out You had to Call her out. You had to... Call her house.

Call her house. Go through her parents, her older brothers, so-and-so. You had to see her. You had to ask your parents for a ride. I mean, you could literally be dating a high school kid, could have 10 girlfriends of all ages. No one could fucking know as a parent. They could have a life that, like, is totally secret, and you'd have no fucking clue.

Yeah, but most people just don't do that. Like, that's such a dramatic thing where it's like, my son might have 10 girls. He's fucking. He probably doesn't. Yeah, dude, I think these kids are fucking heavy is your boy getting it in uh let me let me get this straight you meet up with like a 15 year old and ask him about how many girls he's fucking no purposely don't talk about that shit i i would be like what about girl no it's like strictly sports and music.

Yeah. And it drives me nuts because he's a huge Steph Curry Warriors fan. We live in Chicago. You're like the Patriots. You got to teach him to be a Patriots, Bears, Bulls, Celtics fan. But I'm just like, dude, of all fucking teams, man. Basketball is my least followed sport. So what I'd say doesn't really hold any water at all.

But the Warriors, I find extremely like. I'm very, very close. I hate. I can't do it because it's just ingrained in me to live the opposite. I want to just be a fan of the NBA. Basketball is the sport, like baseball to me is like, I'm, you know, sick in the head about it. But the sport of basketball, I like better than any sport. So when I watch the best plays and the best highlights and the best performers,

I love all that shit. So I kind of want to be one of those guys that's just like, I want to see everybody. But then I just go back to like, I can't actually root for anybody other than the Knicks. And I'm not like a diehard Knicks fan, but you're never going to catch me like rooting for the Warriors or like I'm going to root for the Timberwolves now because Anthony Edwards is like amazing. At the end of the day, I'll just have to have one team. But I almost think it's better to just be like,

yeah, just enjoy this sport. Like the Patriots didn't enjoy the whole fucking thing. I was going to say you should try it because I did it with football this year. Yeah, you've been doing it for years. It was great. Who did you go with this year? The league.

Oh, really? But I mean, like, the Patriots, the good Patriots, they, like, changed my life, obviously. But, like, the way I view sports, where, like, I used to growing up, I hated the good teams. Fuck them. But watching the Patriots 20 years, I've really grown to appreciate. I appreciate these Chiefs. I'm not like, fuck them. I watch the game. I'm like, they're going to win, man.

That's what this is. I feel that way when I watch the Warriors. When you're like, it's just a fucking great team and you can't beat them. I think that's kind of cool to watch. Yeah, fair point. It's definitely different having experienced it like you said and looking back like retrospectively and you definitely appreciate way more because i mean it's almost like not to go not to keep harping on like your college years your golden years but you wish like

somebody shook you at the time and was like fucking remember how good you have right now because it's not gonna last like you soaked it up even more not that we didn't but i mean it's dark days now and i don't think we're ever gonna taste that ever again well not that no you're never gonna taste that you'll, you're never going to taste that. You're probably never going to win a championship. You'll probably never have a girlfriend. You'll probably... Ever. It'll probably be a civil war soon.

And you don't even have the gas canisters. They're expired. So, really, the question is, what are you doing with your life, Dante? I don't know. What the fuck are you doing with yours? What's going doing with yours? What's going on with you? This is it, man.

I'm just going to do this until I die. Single? I got my kids, man. I will say, at least you have that. I got that going for me. No, you do. I will say, at least there are children. No, I'm jealous.

That's a pretty big one. I'm jealous as fuck about that. It's a pretty big one jealous as fuck about that pretty big one you got you got great kids you're they seem like they're at the age where they're the the one argument i would make for like when you if you're like i don't want to have kids fine get it getting to do sports with them is like pretty awesome that is pretty cool that is that is something that i was like all the rest is like it's it's literally not fun if you get satisfaction out of it of being fulfilled and you feel his purpose and all that then it's worth it if you're not a person who gets that then all this shit's gonna suck but objectively if you're a sports fan and you grew up playing sports you

can't get that though isn't that just like human nature that i don't think so i think that's the point i think that like some i think that pete you've up playing sports. Who can't get that, though? Isn't that just, like, human nature that many of the kids – I don't think so. I think that's the point. I think that, like, some – I think that you've been, like, told that. But it's, like – That's fucked up. If you don't feel that – If people aren't like that, that's fucked up. I'm going to go on a limb and say that's probably most people. I think if more people were being honest with themselves, it was, like, would I rather, like, travel the world and experience things and do what I want to do or be like pinned down in diapers and shit for the next couple decades and like worrying about my kid's life and not my life?

There's something to be said if you were like, I want to experience my life and not worry about a child's life. There probably is some argument on the other side of like that's selfish or that's against human nature because we're supposed to procreate or whatever but there's probably an argument for it but what i'm saying is objectively if you were the type of person who grew up liking sports playing sports doing sports and now you get to do that with someone else that's that part is pretty cool so far yeah that's the rest of it is like when you're you know you have shit all over you and the baby just threw up on you and he looks at you and you smile it's like that makes me happy so i could deal with it if someone else were like that smile wasn't enough for me i'm still covered in shit and i'm not enjoying this i would understand that what i'm saying is with the day that you like can have

a catch with your kid or he's like hitting the ball or you know scores his first basket or whatever it's like oh that was cool that is that part's awesome badass yeah but did I... Question here, and hopefully I'm wrong. Did I see you got your daughter a cell phone? No, she's on... She has a tablet. What? But is she texting? It's a whole thing.

Are you out of your fucking mind? Well, so we got her the Gizmo watches, which are like a... Like an Apple watch? Yeah, but it's like an Apple watch for kids, basically. Okay. And it kind of is like you can... I have control of all the numbers.

There's limited things that you can send. God bless you. I can't even imagine raising a kid today. Can't even fucking imagine it. But again, I'm sure they said that shit all the time. I'm sure they always said that stuff. You think? Yes. You think in the

fucking 1940s like we sound exactly like parents they sound they said this every single time bro there was no social media or you just said the 1940s it was in the middle of world war two you think people were happy about bringing a kid into the world there was no social media i didn't want to say yo my kid's going to work at a factory to build a tank to fight the Nazis. He's going to get drafted when he's in high school. I wanted to say 60s, but then I was like, nah, because it was all drugs. Yeah, exactly. And all that.

All right, so there was one little era of the 50s where things were nice. Every generation. 80s were good. But they had the kids who would listen to the rock music. And fucking Cold War.

Yeah. Every generation has shit. You legit don't think it's as bad now as. I think every generation has

things that they think are the end of the world and then people just end up being people. You're fine. But I would say

that but I do think there's a little bit of an extra element of And then people just end up being people. And you're fine. But I would say that. But I do think there's a little bit of an extra element of like – I think that technology goes so fast that like usually I think inventions take a certain amount of time and change happens at a certain rate. And I think this one is going really fast. That would be the only difference I think is that in a matter of 10 years, like AI just kind of started and by the time my kids are really old enough to be doing their own work and shit,

it's probably going to be full-blown. That, I think, is the only difference. And I think that's the fucking death now. Oh, that's it. That's AI for sure. I didn't bring that up on purpose. So what do you think about AI? You don't think that AI can just be utilized like every other technology prior?

Bro, it can invent itself and create itself. It's not like we have our finger on the button and can control. So you think it's going to get out of control you think if we could control it it would be useful but that it's going to spiral out of control without a doubt but you can't trust you can't trust one humans

two fucking governments I mean the fact they put Kamala Harris in charge of AI oversight dude I wouldn't fucking trust her with fucking breakfast The fact they put Kamala Harris in charge of AI oversight. Dude, I wouldn't fucking trust her with fucking breakfast tomorrow. Never mind overseeing artificial intelligence. Get out of here.

Who should be in charge of AI? Somebody brilliant. Like Elon Musk. But I wouldn't trust him either. I was about to say that as a joke. He's his evilest. My guy, I guess you're making sense because he's kind of torpedoed social media. Like everything he touches, he turns to shit. But he's also shot out warnings like, yo, AI is going to fuck us.

Better start putting some restrictions and regulations in place or it's too late it's gonna be like everything else government governments are gonna come around five years from now and be like hey guys uh this ai thing got out of control we need to like safeguard it it's like two it's fucking way too late for that buddy i mean it's way too late who do you trust the least like government, technology, humans. Humans? Yeah, who do you trust the least? Rank them from most trustworthy to least trustworthy.

Well, the problem with fucking government, it's like the great George Carlin skit. It's garbage in, garbage out. It's a product of what we the society are like like trump's a fucking lunatic but he's a product of this world this country being this fucked up this poorly run that somebody like that gets that much attention yeah that's that's that's the point we're at as a society and i think like it it's a portrayal of you know who we are and where we are in in time it's so it's terrible right there it's fucking terrible um i don't want to get in the politics thing though because people already think I'm a lunatic.

But can I ask you guys a question since we're in a circle of trust here? Yeah. Nobody's listening. What the fuck is going – what are you guys like feeding people around here that everyone's like depressed that they're in New York and not in Chicago now? And like everyone all of a sudden is like Chicago's the best. Like – I don't know uh i know you're gonna pretend like you don't your head is in the sand and you don't know this but no no no i think it's weird to say i'm not gonna pretend that um i don't know i don't know the answer to

that i think the difference is i don't think it's that chicago it could have been chicago it could have been it could have been anywhere right it's just that this place is the old place, and that's the new place. This place is the – there's a set style that has been here for a decade that was fear and stress. I was going to say, those emotions I wouldn't say are new. I was going to say, what style would you describe that as? So it's not even necessarily New York. It's Milton. It's the first office.

It's the second office. Chicago is the only place that's not that because it's Dan's style, and it's much more like we're going to play games, and we're going to do fun stuff. Here is still very like we have drama. We have fights. We're going to talk about it. We're going to fight.

We're going to have debates. We're going to argue. All that to me going to fight. We're going to have debates. We're going to argue. All that, that to me is like, you know, what Barstool has always been. But I think what we're learning is that there was like a good crew of people through luck and through timing and just like our kind of work ethic and stuff that like there was like five or six guys six or eight guys eight or ten guys whatever it was that could do that and like handle that and we could fight

and maybe we weren't best friends but we could at the end of the day you know have some sort of respect for each other and build this thing and grow this thing and it was like there was drama but we all had you know it was like we're still growing this together.

I think the further you get out from that, drama is just like a headache at work. You know what I mean? What the fuck am I fighting this person and that person for? This is just making my life stressful. I'm getting hate on the Internet for it. This sucks. It's like why drive yourself up a wall if you're not getting anything out of it? You know what I mean?

No, I agree. But I always was getting something out of it. Maybe I'm biased because I had equity, but I also felt like a pride in the work or winning the argument or being right or my team was the one that won or that rarely happened but if you as it grows and grows and grows that's why sometimes i feel like it's tough when if you if we judge people like like why aren't you doing content it's like well this is your baby dave or kevin or whoever you know this is just a job to me like i'm trying but this is not my life whereas like this was our life right now so i think when you see there there is a barstool that's just like fun and games and then you're over here and you're doing you're in like the trenches i think there's probably a lot of people who don't like that and would probably like that you know but i don't know

people here and i don't i don't talk to everybody but i don't I don't know anyone here who like wants to move I think when the split happened people were very like happy with their choices people were like I don't want to go to Chicago or I don't want to do that I think as time goes on if it's

like what happened the last couple weeks is just always what happens here like at the end of the day that resulted in like a cancelled show two or three people who probably like aren't friends anymore, a new beef and a whole bunch of internet like hate. If that like just keeps happening, I do think there will be people who are like, this sucks. I don't want to do this. And if especially if Chicago is like we're playing dodgeball and we're like, I mean, I, I had, I had somebody venting to me earlier this week and they used the phrase. I feel like being stuck in New York is a death sentence. All right,

bro. Some people do want to be. And I was like, whoa, whoa. Like, dude, it's not,

we have a basketball court. It's not. I've also like, that's the other thing here. Like you have, whoa, whoa. Dude, we have a basketball court. Bro, it's not. I've also, like, that's the other thing here. Like, you have, yeah, you have a basketball court. Like, you have a studio, you have an office here that has access to some of the best equipment, some of the best editors, some of the best resources, that there are people out there who are trying to become influencers and shit who have nothing, zero,

and would kill to just be like, I can be in this this building today yeah like i don't think there's a difference here's the thing like it it's they just don't do it like i i've tried many different ways uh i thought it was gonna be a lot easier than it was then when i realized it was hard i came up with other ideas that i thought would like artificially maybe get the ball rolling. If you don't want it, you will not succeed. You, and there are people who don't want it and there, and there are people who do want it.

I agree with that. I think there, I do. I do. I agree with your, I agree with your message, but I disagree with your delivery. And it's because I think you are only thinking from your point of view and your perspective,

which I also think I'm the same way, where when you have your mind set on something, it's happening. You're going to fucking make it happen. You're not going to sleep till it happens. You're going to get it done. Not everyone's wired that way. A lot of people need not just a push but encouragement and to know, listen, just because it flops the first 10 times doesn't mean it's not a good idea to quit. I think that's one of the problems around here.

But, like, I did all that shit, man. But, Kevin, you're a rare person. No, no, no. I'm saying I had all those Conversations with these people I had these meetings I've sent these emails I've been like But I told them flat out I want to Foster a new barstool

Where we get everything we just described I was like that worked for Dave And it works very well for page views and stuff But I think we can make content here And all be like healthy and not Toxic and it's just been like that's the exception over everybody's head fall on deaf ears no bro that's the exception around here the the norm is you know if something doesn't blast off out the gates and become huge

they like barstool doesn't sponsor it they don't devote resources to it so it's like you're like my backstage thing like i've been fucking trying to make this thing happen for three years now and i don't give a fuck that i have to you know get my own talent get my own like camera guys we got a fucking guy working three jobs editing our clips and everything it's fine i'm gonna i'm gonna keep working at it till it happens and keep making it bigger and better not everybody's like that are people around here how many how many projects have you seen launch and after two weeks they're fucking never heard from again i i agree with that i also think that's pressure from the company as a whole where it's like you have to

make money and it's like all right this one's not working let's find yeah yeah yeah let's find a new one well it's probably better to just like stay with something for five years and eventually that will make money and i think that but it's if you're constantly switching i don't people and i think i don't i think it's a top-down thing and i even top-down. I'm not saying it comes from Dave. But I don't know what it is here that encouraged us. You're saying, unless it's a rocket ship, a lot of season twos don't happen. A lot of, like, if it doesn't get sponsored, like, for example, we're kind of talking about our own stuff. Out of order is never going to get sponsored.

I like doing it, so we're going to keep doing it. And I think I'm lucky to have the kfc radio parachute where like i make money for the company but if someone who is a grinder and they they can't they don't and they probably do have that grace but they don't think they have that grace so they have to like i gotta find something that makes something instead of having the luck like I have with this in order to like. Amen. I think there has been even recently, I think Dave on the unnamed show explained the dynamic of like at Barstool, there are people who make money and then there are people who make the show like who are a side character, but they are like a Looney Tune. And so it becomes funny and you need those people so like i think at the end of the day and the reason why there's you know hundreds of people

on payroll and probably only a top percentage of them make any money but he carries all those people because he knows you do need that dynamic but that never gets uh attaboy that never gets like hey man don't worry that you didn't get sponsored this year because you actually were the reason why this storyline happened or you did this funny thing or whatever. Dave has always said like, you are not going to get positive reinforcement from me. He never does that. I, I, I mean, I guess when we started here, I didn't, I didn't like seek people out to be like, good job on this. But I at least thought I made it clear like we should try to shift that mindset and be more collaborative and go on each other's shows and do videos together.

And it just doesn't happen. But how did that like not happen? I mean, I also don't think it's been that long. I don't think like that's a thing. That's not a change that happens overnight. I agree. And I don't think it's been that long. I don't think that's a thing. That's not a change that happens overnight. I agree. And I don't think it's been that long. That's another thing, too.

Some of the brains here are... It's almost exactly what I was just talking about. It didn't happen right away. It's not happening yet. Yeah, but I think it's more... I guess it's more attitudes. I feel like there needs to be a shift in, like, mindset. And I don't know if that happens, like, ever.

I do think a lot of people are kind of set in their ways. I agree with that to an extent. But I also think people here work. I don't think there are people who aren't working. I think it's maybe – it's kind of like, again, what I was saying. I think the best thing everyone could do would be their passion project. I don't think most people have the freedom to do that or at least feel it. And I think probably in most cases don't have it.

But they're like, well, I make money on the blog. So I'm going to blog. I'm not going to take time to go do this show. And I make money doing this podcast. So they're not even make money. It's not like they're getting a direct cut. But it's also like discouraging when, you know, one thing that I'm always just like, what the fuck is going on here? Dave in his annual and, you know, in his emails, and it's true.

He says, like, there's no company like this where you can literally do anything you want. And if it works, like, Bar unless you're like you or you or dan or one of dan's boys like you can't fucking get resources to do anything yeah so it's like we don't do development we at all you need you need at all in order to get a producer and get a promotion and all that you need to have a winning product and in order to get a producer and get a promotion and all that, you need to have a winning product. And in order to get a winning product, you need all those things. What we do is we catch lightning in a bottle, right?

But if you find a Brianna chicken fry, you get lucky. It smashes. Then we give you all the resources. What exactly we should have is a process in place that is like you, you sit down with this person and you hash out your ideas and we we zone in on these two and then those two ideas go to this producer and you try to make them and you develop talent we just wait for things to explode and and we've gotten lucky enough that like there's always one or two but there's no development in place that's what i was trying

to do here and it just doesn't't – has not taken at all. And the other thing that I've, like, never understood about this company is why nobody, like, puts on for anybody else. Why there's this, like – I get that, like, we built Milton as this, like like hostile fucking headquarters where everyone was at each other's throats all the time but we were like boys but you couldn't fucking turn your back on anyone because you get fucking knifed and it would that's why that's still that leftover is here like that exactly but like we're so big now we have so many giant brands and everything everyone has their own giant brand it's like when people are like unless dave is sending an email like he did on monday like everyone needs to post this draft kings thing and blah blah blah it's like

then people are like okay i need to make sure i'm doing my part and retweeting this and posting this and doing this. If you see Twisted History podcast come up on your Twitter timeline, people won't even retweet something like that. It's the easiest fucking thing in the world to put on someone else's brand to your brand. You're following your people. But there's no encouragement for that here i i agree with what you're saying uh to an extent i gotta run soon but um i also i think it's human nature kind of too i don't i don't i think it's like a thing here where everyone's compete everyone's

like oh i can't i don't want to i don't want to help them out because i'm worried about myself i don't think i don't think it's actively putting other people down. I think it's just like, I do my thing. You do your thing. We're kind of all in a race to the top. It's not like we have a meeting to be like, you should help you and you should help you. It's more just like, I'm doing my thing. I do my job. You do your job.

That's what I was saying before. We were like a family. We were in this together. Right, we're a team. But these people, there's a lot more people. Outside of this company. I get what you're saying about retweets and stuff like that,

but ultimately I think that is more like it just makes you feel supported rather than it gives it supports. Like if I retweeted this, it might get a single listener. I know. But there is something to the feel.

There's something to the feel. I'd be much more apt to, if you invite me on your show go on your show i think that would get you more listeners i'm not i'm not not retweeting stuff i'm just like it i it's like when someone says like hey can you retweet this or buy gofundme like sure like i stopped doing that 10 years ago because it doesn't i might get you 10 bucks it doesn't it's not gonna take off it't matter. It's just like it's an unnecessary thing. I'd be happy to go on anyone's show. But like me retweeting it – and I know that it's more of a feeling thing than anything because I feel it too.

I agree with you when I'm like, I didn't even retweet that. Like again to talk about new stuff like out of order. Like it's like Viva can't get – we can't get a retweet. And it's like it's funny. And I know it doesn't matter but it's just like you want it because it

yeah it just feels like you're getting and I think we have gotten one recently but it's been a year and I think we recently got like a retweet

and I know it doesn't really matter but it's just like symbolic symbolic here you go but that's that is from

Milton and Top Down and just the way Barstool has always been. Dave has always been like, I'm not about like that Kumbaya shit. We're not going to do it. And,

and I, I mean, he made it very clear. Like, I mean, I, again, I had,

we had meetings early in the summer when all this shit was going on, where I was like, I, I'm not the boss here, but I do think we can run things a little differently. Dave won't be around. So like, it doesn't have to be his way.

We can do it our way. If you want to like lighten up and like loosen up like let's have some fun and morale was high things were good and it just nobody and you have to like do it and and go and it just if people don't buy into it i don't know and then i mean if it does seem to be like uh like barstool radio was this weird thing where people wanted it and they liked it but it does create the forum for drama and then that becomes like you're fucking slinging mud at each other and these these i think it really is a lot more real like when you when dave shits on you and you fight back you kind of go back to your corners and it's boss and employee and you both got your licks in he ultimately wins and you just keep going when it's like regular employees and they're like fuck you no fuck you i don't

like your shit i don't think you work hard those people are like fuck you for life and i understand that you know what i mean it's like you ruined my day week month at work i'm never gonna really be friends with you again so if you're gonna do that it has to be like very thick skin. And if you're not going to do that, it has to be like, let's do it in Super Bowl, he's like, I view myself as like still running New York. I don't think that's Kevin's position. I'm like, all right. I mean, at some point I would feel like an idiot running around trying to be like the boss if nobody, if I'm not given that position. You know what I mean? I mean, you're actually here.

Your boot's on the ground. That's what I thought was like I'm here. So, like, maybe i can rally that but if someone's point blank telling you like that's not your role you can't what is it it's not halloween i'm not gonna run around pretending to be the boss you know what i mean so it's a it's a it's an interesting debate you want to run yeah i'm gonna wrap up here anyway um it's an interesting question that john's right. It only has been a little while. But I wonder sometimes if it's like we, you know, maybe you need like new, like if you're from the old way of doing things and you're just like, you almost have to reprogram yourself to like not do it that way or you need to get a new person in here who

doesn't even know the fighting and the drama and the toxicity and you know then they kind of pave the way sort of thing but i don't know it's it's a it is a top-down sort of thing it's always going to be a dramatic place it's always going to be a combative place until i mean the messaging is otherwise i mean you have to admit i mean i know you weren't there but coming here from milton was always like like holy shit this place is awesome this is so much better than milton like i remember going to that milton office you would not hear a word all day nobody would i know dude i remember going up there being like it was like prison dude yeah well i mean but that was yeah because it was like it was eight people sitting this close to each other and no one's saying a word all day and people having headphones

in and it was like the most depressing fucking place ever everyone on pins and needles the place stank yep so coming even h1 here, it was like – It's amazing. It's fucking awesome. Everyone's here. We got a studio. We got lights. We got –

Yeah, yeah. And then coming to this one and having Erica here as almost like a mediator between Dave and everybody, it was like even better. So hearing that people are still like – It's not – we need more positivity. Like, I think it's like craziness. Well, I mean, you got to think, like, it still hasn't been that long since, you know, when Dave is here, Dave wants that atmosphere of like, you're on the pins and needles on the edge of your seat at any, like, shit could pop off at any moment, you know? And it hasn't been that long since he's been gone in the grand scheme of things right like for for an employee who's here day in and day out it's been several years but in like the history of the company we've just barely broken into the era of dave being out of the office you know

it's true so it's it does take time to change that atmosphere. I'm just saying from my point of view, when I tried, I guess I thought people wanted that and they seemed like they wanted it. So like let's do it. And it's like they want it but they don't do it. You have to like do. You know what I mean? You have to like, okay, I will invite you on my show. I will – like I was like you can come to me at any time. Walk in my office.

I will help you. I've developed this show. I've helped these girls.. I will help you. I've developed this show. I've helped these girls. I put these guys on. I've done this before. It involves some luck, but there's some things that we can do. Like, come through my door. Ask me any question.

Chris Clemmer is, like, the only guy who does it. You know? That's fucking nuts. I'm like, now I'm like, okay, why don't I just sit with Chris and stop fucking even worrying about having like a company-wide meeting because we we we write down a hundred ideas and like Clemmer did one Jackie did one um Roan did a couple that's really it you know it's like everything you're describing is like I kind of put in place a way to like here get together with these people and make a YouTube video and it's just like yeah not really doing it you know that that drives me crazy yeah but that's why i don't want to give up

on it because it's like there is too much time and too much talent uh left to just be like it's not working but part of it is like what i don't know what more can i do because everything you kind of described i like talked about it was like let's do it this way guys and then we don't know, what more can I do? Because everything you kind of described, I talked about, was like, let's do it this way, guys. And then we don't. I mean, I looked at, you know, basically like the Yak people coming to Chicago is like an opportunity for people here. You would think.

I didn't look at it as the way i'm being told it's being interpreted as like basically the people that are here think like they got left behind and i'm like you guys talking about yeah i mean i wish that i was more like if i had the same like platform and level of dan like dan can like put you on like like, we're going to do a live stream. I retweeted, you're going to get all the viewers you need. If I say, go watch this thing, everybody watches it. I don't have that level of like a clout or platform, but like what I have done is grow shows. And I have things that have worked and have things that didn't work. And like that I can do with you. That's, and I almost feel like that's a little more tangible where it's like, I'll sit with you and like, try to make this thing or like, let's do this. And it almost feel like that's a little more tangible where it's like I'll sit with you and try to make this thing or let's do this.

And it just is like people are like, meh. You know what I mean? I'd rather go to Chicago where it's like kind of a more instantaneous result. But I also don't know. It's like – So what you're saying is you're like Jesus. Teach a man to fish versus give a man a fish. Perfectly said.

Quote that. I said I'm Jesus. No, I mean, all I can do is offer to help you, but you gotta want to be helped. You know? But yeah, the Chicago-New York thing has been like, it's like people, it's kind of

not talked about, or like there is a rivalry it's it's it's it's like i i said in the beginning i was like i want there to be like a rivalry in the sense of like i want to be the best i would love it for it to be like oh my god new york turned out like so much content like they're the best office that would be great it doesn't have to be rivalry and like i want them to fail it's like rivalry like i want to succeed you know what i mean like competition that's good but there is just this feeling of like the shiny new toy all the attentions there and but i'm like if that is your that is your mentality that's you got to change that because you are in a fucking you're across the street

from madison square garden in like a 20 000 square foot office with lights and cameras and people and you know what i mean it's like people every day there's people coming through here like stars like legit stars like i don't know it's i think a lot a lot gets taken for granted i think a lot gets taken for that's been to me the biggest wow thing about Dan coming back to Chicago is, and again, it's only been this long and it's a shiny new toy, but the people that are coming through now, I was always like, wow, the fuck did he get this person to come to Chicago? And they're coming by the office.

It's a given here in New York because people are coming for other things. I look at that. Do you know Moobz, Lauren Moobz? Yeah. She came in this summer and she just put up a whiteboard and wrote a question on it.

And anytime somebody walked by, she'd be like, hang on, can you just answer this question? And put it up and it killed. She's got a job waiting for her when she graduates, like she's ready to rock. And it's like, she just did that you know there needs to be more of that shit and sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't people get discouraged when it doesn't work i get that but

like you just gotta keep fucking going so i i hope that there will be more of it. I also, I have to, like I said, like I wanted to be that person here. But like when Dave definitively is like, you're not, I'm like, okay, like then I'm not, you know what I mean? I can't, I have to have some pride at some point. I can't be coming in here being like, hey, everybody listen to me. And he's like, no, don't listen to him.

It's like, I get it. It's not my role. So I'm just going to go back to doing my thing for like my, you know, worry about my shit. Door still always open. I will always help and like develop. Like what I've basically always done in the past. I just didn't have like a role or whatever to do it.

So I'll just keep doing that. But people got to walk through the door or ask the question or ask for help or ask to come on the show or barge in and come on the show like let's make content let's go you can come in and fucking go you know isn't it crazy that after knowing him for like 20 years you still can't really tell what makes him tick it's crazy you'll never you never know like you never know what's there's some things you definitely know like yeah but then there's other things where you're like, I don't think he'll worry about that or care about that. And he does. And then there are things he cares about that I didn't think he would worry about.

I will say, though, it has been – much of pain in the ass things like that are, and that would drive me up the fucking wall. Like you just said, you trying to take the lead and take charge and it making sense and then him being like like no it's ridiculous it's ridiculous but anyways it's his company he can do whatever the fuck he wants but at the same time it's just great having him back involved as much as he is now versus, you know, a few years ago. I mean,

I think if it didn't happen, he was going to just like fade off into the sunset. It was like written on the wall. Yeah. And, uh, it's just, it's been great.

Even though like the fucking busted with the boys email on Sunday. So good. Like fucking idiots. Like I miss, I forgot, I forgot about stuff like that. I was like, man, fucking miss, I miss these days. Thank God there's no end in sight.

You need the right level of toxicity. That level is good. That's the level of like, you know, head on a swivel at all times. You never know what might happen. That's where you gotta keep it. It can't go much higher than that where you're like destroying each other and tearing each other down but that level of like a healthy dose of fear every time you're around that keeps people keeps people moving but great good talk bud likewise you are cold right now in this oh dude

this fucking i'm like flushed hot. I mean, this studio, thank God, it's like a fucking tanning bed with all these lights. Boiling. It's actually warm in here. Out there in this office, it's like a meat locker. I thought the Chicago, old Chicago office, Eddie used to keep that thermostat at like fucking 59. Hell yeah. Where do you keep your thermostat at?

In my house. Are we still rolling? Yeah. Where do you keep that thermostat at like fucking 59. What do you keep your thermostat at? In my house. Are we still rolling? Yeah. What do you keep your thermostat at? 68. Okay, that's not bad. I mean, it's a little hot for my liking, but like 68 is acceptable. I thought you were going to say like –

I can't sleep higher than 68. The people who go to sevens, if you have a seven handle, you are a 100-year-old woman in Florida. It's crazy. What do you think it is in here? Apple Watch tell temperature. I bet you it's 65 in here. In here right now?

I bet you it's 65. 74. No chance. Bro, I am dying of heat. I mean, I run super hot, but right now. I brought my jacket because I'm putting it on the minute this is done airing. Oh, my God. You're going to put a jacket on right now?

Dude, it's freezing in this place. I was ready to take this off. I was like, I think I'm sweating though. Jesus Christ. Every time I come back out east I'm like, man, no one uses fucking, in the summertime, air conditioning full blast. You're freezing

in the summer everywhere you go. And in the winter no one uses heat. Everywhere you go. That's a perfect world to me. Cool in the summer, cool in the winter, whatever. Okay, that's Dante for you. That was Dante

pretty much in a nutshell right there. Pharmacies? All right, time to talk to our girl, Shank. We got Sarah Wine Shank on the show

on KC Radio. Let's talk to her. Yo, I can't get over this fit. The fit? Yeah. I love it. The fit is hard. Yeah. One thing about. Yo, I can't get over this fit. The fit? Yeah. I love it. The fit is hard. Yeah.

One thing about me is I'm going to come with a fit. Yeah. But, like, you know, I've seen you before. This is a fit. Yeah, I tried today for you guys. I was like, I'm going to try for them. It doesn't happen often, but when I try, things are different. Thank you.

Yeah. No, I mean, the jacket things are different. Thank you. Yeah. No, I mean, the jacket is fucking electric. Is this Valentine's Day inspired? Yeah, it's a little, a touch of Valentine's Day, a touch of Sesame Street. That's what I was going for, you guys. Everybody knows. That's the aesthetic. Are you a Valentine's Day girl?

Yes and no. Are we podcasting right now? Yeah, we're podcasting. Oh, so subtle. Let's go. You guys are so natural. I'm like, should we start? Let me kill the vibe.

Should we start the show? I love Valentine's Day. Yeah? Well, this year because I have a boyfriend. There you go. So I was going to say, I feel like it's very much dependent upon upon your situation but i feel like sometimes people are either into it or they're like fuck valentine's day it's valentine's day that's sort of shit yeah the valentine's day thing is sad yeah i feel like that's where some you know you get you get a bunch of uh

women who are single who don't want to be single together because if you're single you're just like whatever it's fine yeah and you're happy about it you don't care but when you're like i want a boyfriend and i don't have one and there's six of us in a room together and we're all just drinking wine it's gonna get fucking it's gonna get dark that is so dark i'd rather be alone yeah having galentine's day with a bunch of sad bitches drinking rosé. And you know, like, that's like, it's a domino effect where, like... One cries. Once one breaks, the fucking levees go. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. Next thing you know, you're all cramped in the Superdome. Or it's... Or it's, like, one starts to complain and the other one's like, I've been single for, like, three years longer than you. You know what I mean?

And then it's, like, a comparison and a fight fight at least you're not with your one x yeah yeah do you have friends who are like that who are like i need somebody yeah yeah all of them like i i do yeah bro i don't know it's because i'm a little older now or like like i have friends who are like that i don't understand what you're supposed are you talking about girls or guys both both but like what what do you want me to tell you when people are like i just need i need a significant other i'm like it's actually but then that's how you don't find them if you're like walking around i need a significant other it's like people can feel that it's like the things you look where it's like you don't

it's not, there isn't a recipe that we're going to uncover now that we haven't known for thousands. Like, you know what it is. Yeah. You know how it works out.

What do you want me to do in this situation? Yeah. You want me to console you? You'll be like, it's going to be fine. Probably isn't. It's probably not.

If you sing on this long, you're probably going to die alone. What do you want me to say? Even if you're with someone, you could still die alone. You are, not could, you are going to. My mom, I remember I said, and I was like, I don't want to die alone.

And my mom said, we all die alone. And I was like, Debbie. What the fuck, Debbie? That's the first time she ever said anything that dark. And she's married to my dad. And I was like, what? Somebody's got to die first, by the way. It shattered my reality. I was like, wait, what's got to die first, by the way. It shattered my reality.

I was like, wait, what? We all die alone. Yes. Yeah. No, you're so right, though. The girls who walk around desperately looking for a boyfriend, latching on to every single one, or trying to accelerate the process.

Or the ones who ask a bunch of questions first date. Oh, it's terrible. It's terrible. So where do you see yourself in five years? And what's your five-year plan? And also, do you want children first date? You know what guys like? Not that.

Yes, it's scary. And then it's like the minute that you're just like, I don't know, I'm just going to go out and have some drinks, dance, fuck around. It's like, oh, I want to hang out with that girl. The more you're free and feral, the more they want you. Pretty much. Pretty much.

I'll take the feral, bitch. The feral. Feral within reason. You know the story about that feral chick? No. The actual feral chick. She was raised in the woods. What are you talking about?

Yeah, you know that story? She's a German or something, right? Yeah. She's European for sure. Yeah. Wait, what? There's a movie. She was like an orphan.

She got abandoned, and she was raised- By wolves? It's like some real- Yeah. I don't abandoned and she was raised um by wolves it's like some real yeah i don't know if she was literally raised by wolves but it's like yeah pretty much her name was genie feral child she was an american file i mean it's actually sad that she was a victim of severe abuse neglect and social isolation isolation but um she she was feral nonetheless. Beginning, she was like, I mean, this is really, really dark. When she was 13 years and seven months old, she became a ward of the state. And they found her and she had not learned language. She was like kind of walked and like moved and like operated like animals. She's too feral.

You don't want to be that feral if you're looking for love. Just be free. I'm not looking for the literal definition of feral. Wait, she's American? Yeah. I think it was a guy. I think it was a boy. It was like a German or somewhere out there. Yeah, there's a couple of them out there.

There's a couple feral humans out there. Crazy. When did you get a boyfriend? Recently, like a few months ago. So is he here? What are your Valentine's plans? Yeah, he's here. We're going to dinner tonight.

Oh, big plans. You going fancy? I don't know. He made the reservation. Are you the type that's like, you better impress me with this shit, bitch? No, it's our first Valentine's together and I've been single for a long time. So're happy with whatever i'm like yeah this is amazing we

can have pizza and i'd be like yeah he's the best that's weird but okay what like five years in you better you're like you better be taking me yeah five years from now who knows you know what i mean like level up you're trying to keep me or not i don't think i've ever done valentine's day you haven't i've had girlfriends on valentine's day but i don't think I've ever done Valentine's Day. You haven't? I've had girlfriends on Valentine's Day, but I don't think I've ever really done anything. Really? Yeah. What did you guys do on Valentine's Day?

Just hang out and fuck? I guess. I don't really. You never went to dinner? One time I was in college, and my college girlfriend, I was at Florida State, and we went to Disney. That sounds cute. I find Valentine's day to be very you're married childlike no i'm divorced oh sorry sorry to bring that up on valentine's

kevin's having a galentine's tonight you guys are having galentine's we would have a hell of a galentine's you guys having galentine's guys could do galentine's got gal galentines for guys it's just it's just called hanging out yeah this is awesome i i feel like when i was like a kid like when i had like high school relationships and shit that's when i really did valentine's day i was like i'm gonna get the chocolates i'm gonna get like a bracelet for you blah blah and as an adult i feel ridiculous it's like i don't know let's. We can go to dinner or something, but what are we doing? See, as a girl, I'm like, I fucking like it. Because I'm like, it's a love holiday.

It's so cute. But I like it this year because I'm in a relationship. Last year, I was like, hey, fuck this day. You know what I mean? Have you ever bought flowers for yourself and posted it on your Instagram pretending that someone got it for you? I have done that to make someone jealous before. Hell yeah. pretending that like someone got it for you i have done that to make someone jealous before hell yeah my mom gave me flowers and i was like loving my flowers posted on my story how old were you this was like a few years ago oh dude i tried to make this one guy jealous it didn't work

it's like cool nice flowers you should date that guy fuck you're right mom this is definitely a coastal elite belief of mine but like I feel like holidays like this and birthdays like those are for people who don't do things normally regularly that's what I mean

people have no personal life I have a girlfriend we go to dinner all the time we do shit all the fucking time. If you're in the Midwest, Valentine's Day is circled on your calendar as like, I'm going to put on a dress for the first time in six months and we're going to go to town. We're going to go downtown and we're going to see a movie. Cracker barrel. Which is all fine and well, but here it's like, that's why I say I feel silly as an adult. It's like, we're always drinking wine and having dinner and going out.

I don't know. It's like my grandmother who used to go to church on every day but Sunday. Yeah. And she was like, Sunday's for the fucking. No. The rookies. Yeah. That's so punk rock.

She's like, Sunday's so crowded. Sunday's all full and shit. I don't do Sundays. And like, yeah, I'm going to go out tonight on a fucking really busy night. And it is. It's busy and it's pre-fixed. And it's gross. I've had some really gross Valentines. I remember I dated this

one guy. He took me to... It was the end of the relationship and it was the Valentine's. It was like, you know, we were supposed to break up but we had Valentine's Day together. Oh, the worst. We should have just fucking broken up i hate you it was one of those we were together like a while and it was in college and he took me to this restaurant and he tried so hard and i hated it it was this restaurant that overlooked

it was in pomona i don't know if you guys know where that is but it was overlooking the freeway on ramp and i was like this is fucking disgusting and when i went to the bathroom i stepped in a stranger's vomit oh that's kind of on you and i fucking i've never heard that actually that was my bad i've been blaming him for like 10 years about the vomit well if you didn't take me here there wouldn't have been a stranger um that's so funny and then he gave me this card it was like the relationship was over and he gave me this card and the card was like the nail in the coffin it said it had a golden retriever on it and said then i saw your face now i'm a retriever dude this guy sounds awesome that's what that's what all these guys have said every time some guys feel like I would date him.

That's an awesome card. That's a great card. I'm like, yeah, well, we didn't work out. That's great. I hated it. I was like, this is hacky, dude. That's the thing, though. That's relationships for you. When you like somebody, that's like funny and cute and clever.

When you don't like them it's like you this is so yeah you're you're you're you're the you're the reason somebody vomited on the floor that card sucks i hate the way you chew i hate the way you breathe it was that part of the relationship was he attractive to me at the time yeah that's a tough that's it. To me at the time. No, he was like, I thought he was so hot, but then I realized now in hindsight that he wasn't. He was kind of short. I was going through my short fat guys who oink phase. I was going through my short guy phase.

But I'm short, so it didn't really bother me. How short are we talking? It's like 5'6". That's pretty short. And I'm like 5'2", so I was like, it doesn't matter bother me. How short are we talking? It's like 5'6". That's pretty short. And I'm like 5'2". So I was like, it doesn't matter. It's fine. Yeah, I was still looking up to him.

So I was like, he's taller than me. Then we went to an amusement park one time, and I was like, it does matter, apparently. Yeah. On the Ferris wheel. So I feel like when you get out of a relationship and you kind of like you're not brainwashed anymore and you realize like oh that person is like not good looking or a total asshole or what was i thinking yeah when the pheromones have faded and you're like i actually hate your guts i actually would be fine never seeing you again isn't that crazy i i always think that's

why that's probably why uh i never like break up with people and i just like just just beg for them to break up with me because the thought of being like when you break up with someone you are looking them in the eye and saying i only have one life to live and i can choose to live it with you or without you and i would greatly prefer it to be without you that's i would rather get cheated on. I'd rather get hit in the face. I'd rather any of it than just be like, you don't want it. I had to do that, but I didn't do it like I was a pussy about it. I just sent a text.

I was like, hey, here's the thing. It's not working for me. What did he say? He called me. Not the phone call after the text. And then he's like, well, why? And I was like, I just don't. Did you, why? And I was like, I just don't. Did you read the text?

I was like, I just don't see this going any further. But also, he was a titty honker, and he kept honking my titties. Okay, he was my boyfriend. Another great guy. He was my boyfriend for fucking two weeks. That's quick to go titty honking. And he was like, he was driving me. We were going on a trip, and he just was honking my titties the whole way there.

And I was like, dude, the second he became my boyfriend, he couldn't stop honking my titties. Well, okay, let me say this. And I was like, no. There is something. One of the coolest things about being in a relationship is that you just get to like grab your girlfriend's tits and ass and stuff like as a guy you're always just like you're in you're out in the wild and you're like i want to grab that ass i want to honk those tits but i can't because of societal rules and now all of a sudden i can so it's like every time i walk by you i slap your ass or in this case honk

your titties but it was like that's part of the social contract no no no 100 i have a boyfriend now and if he honked my titties it would be different the way that this case, honky titties. That's part of the social contract. No, no, no, 100%. I have a boyfriend now, and if he honked my titties, it would be different. The way that this man was honking my titties. How'd he honk? Bad honker? He was driving and honking my titties. He was like, yeah. 18 wheelers can do it.

He was doing this and then honking, and I was like, this feels like too much is happening. Like, you're just sitting there. Radio's on. You're like on the road trip. And my tits hurt because I was about to get my period. And it didn't feel good. He's just grabbing my tits and they hurt. And he's got one

hand on the wheel and one hand on my titty. And I'm like, this needs to end. This needs to end. You just let it happen for a while? I let it happen. I just, because he, I was like it's fine fun i guess these are his titties now right and then and then a few days later i was like no i don't want to date him and you're no more honking and it was still my titties it was a legit like like a stress ball

honk it was not like a sensual type of gross it was like a stress ball it was like a like the chef from south park it's not the guy that i don't know do you know what i'm talking about no i'm not a Gross. It was like a stress ball. It was like the chef from South Park. Isn't that the guy? I don't know. Do you know who I'm talking about? No, I'm not a big South Park guy. Okay, never mind. I do, in his defense, now this would drive me up a wall as well. I'm not a toucher.

But in his defense, when you're like, it wasn't good, we don't have a rule book for titty. There's nothing. I don't know. rule book for titty. Like, there's nothing. I don't know. You know, like, the vagina, you got the button there. You go in and out. You hit that thing, that sponge thing. We know the fucking buttons. Right.

I don't know the buttons on a titty. Do you squeeze? Do you rub? Do you pinch? Do you hug? Do you place your hand on it? Like, what's a titty do? You could graze a titty.

Graze it. You could pinch a nipple. That would be hot. But either way... You're telling... I can understand in maybe the heat of the moment. If we're riding in the car, and I reach over and pinch your nipple, that's like... I prefer that than the honk.

Really? Than the honk. You'd rather your nipple get pinched than a honk? Am I making all of everything I'm saying no longer valid? I'm just saying, not in the heat of the moment, a nipple pinch hurts. Did you try saying uncle while he was repeatedly grabbing your titty? By the way, can you close your eyes and just with one shot touch your nipples? Yeah.

Right now. Yeah. Yeah. You can't. Okay, okay. You guys are making me. You're throwing me off. But you can't touch and be like touch and be like oh i made it like move over an inch like you have to nail it on the first contact i know where my nipples are ready yeah you nailed it

did you get it i mean you have to tell me guys i brought the honor system here i found my own nipples we laugh jackie can't do it yeah our producer can't do it. Yeah, our producer can't do it. What? My nipples moved, so I'm at disadvantage. Your nipples got moved. They had to be trimmed down from bologna to bologna. Her boyfriend wouldn't stop touching them. She got honked. They just kept growing. Every honk went shh, shh, shh.

I was all proud of myself that I could find my own nipples. I was like, yeah, I can do it. That's something I can do. We just did this. We recorded the regular podcast before you came in, and I did the same exact thing as you did, where I was like, I threw the jacket open. I was like, I can fucking nail it.

Can you go across, like left to right, right to left? Of course. I kind of missed. Hold on, hold on. I missed. I missed on that. Of course. You guys. You're a woman. I'm a genius. I don, hold on. I missed. I missed on that. Of course. You guys.

You're a woman. You're in tune. I don't know what else to tell you. I can touch my own nipples, crisscross them. Big toe, got it. Got it. I kind of missed, to be honest. If that guy was 6'3", rich, and chiseled from stone,

you letting him honk? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you don't really mind. I didn't like him. It was the man that was attached to it. The honker was the problem. Yeah.

Yes. That is the problem. Yeah. I'm glad we got to the bottom of what that was. So, you know, it's always, if you're hot, you can get away with probably literally murder. A lot more. He could probably murder you and you'd be like, that's okay. You're hot.

Now I've been murdered by a hot guy. Oh my God. He murdered me. Do it again. Do it again, daddy. How did you meet this boyfriend? Raya. Yeah?

Fuck Raya. Won't let me in. Really? Yeah. You can get a referral. I got a referral. I still got denied. They should let you in.

Just like, such a bad boy, you know? You don't want to be on there. Just too hard for the internet. It's fucking just... I've never done any dating apps ever in my life. I kind of missed it while... And then once I was divorced, I was like, I'm not... You've never been on any dating apps?

I've never been on a dating app. I don't even... I've never signed up for one. I mean, Instagram is my dating app. You guys don't need any more than that you know what i mean that's actually better yeah you guys know this already exists yeah uh what about you i did tinder back i never met someone any like i did tinder before when it was like almost like a chat room like it was like it was like the very birth john made tinder viral, pretty much. No. Yes.

What? It was an early day of Tinder where he told everyone, here's a good pickup line. Ask the girl you're chatting with, how many push-ups can you do? And all of a sudden... I was like... And it got to the point where it started getting used so much. And I think Tinder also did start kind of in in the northeast which is where we were like popular that it would be like a guy would send it and they'd be like i'm a barstool fan too or like i know feilberg also so it like

it took over the website it got big enough that like in their new york times when they went public i think they were like they they played dumb were like, we still don't know why, but it rocketed shipped in like exactly this day in the Boston and New York areas or something like that. I was like, I fucking know why. That was just for free. You do. I know.

I know. Face of Tinder. Come on, Tinder. You're sleeping on it. They, they, we've,

we've, we've shaken that tree. No, they already got their value. They're not interested in any reparations on that one. They're all set on that one. Well, do you want to be on any dating apps? No.

Do you, Kevin? No. No, I find it to be very off-putting. Yeah, like... It is. It's horrible and horrific. I don't like texting either. Not that I don't like the active tech the active is fine but like i don't have good tech

read like i don't i don't pick up what you're saying john doesn't have good read on anything yeah he misses all the signals but i could see yeah i could see it being even worse for you i'm like what the fuck like why are they mad right now i'm i'm i guess it's just anxiety i get anxious but i don't i don't communicate well via text. There was a TikTok that went viral the other day. It was like, here's what texts seem like to someone with anxiety. Like, okay, you're mad at me. Yes.

Okay with an exclamation point. You're really mad at me. That's like when Kim texts me. I'm like, I'll text her, okay, and I'll put like a heart. She'll text me, okay. It'll just be okay with a period. And I'll be like, is everything okay? She's like, yeah okay with a period and i'll be like is everything okay which is like yeah dude yeah she communicates like a man and i'm like this is horrible i think that

i don't even know i mean i feel like that can go both ways guys and girls probably you're right more so guys but like uh it can you get in your own head on on okays and like no problem or sure. You want this for dinner? Sure. Really? Is that okay? I said sure. It's fine. Sure. No big deal. But it's also the part where like KK, haha, instead of a ha ha ha.

But we all do know the single LOL. We know the things. So it is another language. And then that's where I get confused when like you say sure and you're i'm like are you sure and like yeah i said sure it's like well but you know what you know that sure yeah you should so like should like yeah that's actually why i've gotten more and more out on texting as things have progressed where it's like i just feel like it doesn't feel like I'm participating in a real conversation. The worst thing ever is a K. Yeah.

Yeah. But everyone knows that. So if you send a K and you're actually you actually mean okay. And you pretend you're like,

no, man, is it okay? Yeah, you're being a dickhead. No, yeah, I love pulling out a K if I'm pissed. Yeah, but you're doing it with purpose, you know?

With intention. A well-placed K? Ooh, that could change the day. It could do damage. See, a well-placed K? Ooh. Ooh, that can change the day. It can do damage. A well-placed K is like, I feel like when someone says that to me, they're like, it's almost like I have anxiety when I don't know. But when you give me a well-placed K, I know for sure what you mean.

And I go, I'm pissed. Yeah. Like, I know. I'm like, all right. They're fucking furious. What are you gonna do yeah it's like if you're really pissed

just put the K I don't need sure I can't be in between just the K is the ultimate I'm pissed what about when you start seeing somebody

and you text them a lot because you like to talk to them yeah and then you kind of get in that mode of like how frequently you text

and then like once you start to get more comfortable or whatever it falls off you're like wait a minute you haven't texted me in 35 text you. And then like, once you start to get more comfortable or whatever, it falls off. You're like, wait a minute. You haven't texted me in 35 seconds.

You must be mad at me. That sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The proliferation of the exclamation point has ruined texting for me. I put it on every, once I went through that, in like,

you know, You use it? I, I dealt with so much shit like, you know, okay, are you mad at me? Like, I just put an exclamation point on everything.

I think a lot of people. See you tonight. Are you fucking crazy? Can't wait for dinner. I never use the exclamation point. I, at least the people I communicate with, it's used so often that I feel like I'm being the rude. Like, you just kind of start to understand language.

Where, like, I feel like I'm being the rude person. I feel like I'm getting yelled at. If I say an exclamation, I'm like, why are we moving like this? Yeah, but you'll never mistake it for, like, angry. Or, like, they're mad at me. Unless it's like, fuck you. Caps Locks is angry. That's the way she points excited.

Caps Locks. Dude, imagine just sending a casual text in all caps. Mentally ill. Hello. Missing you. all caps. Mentally ill. Hello. Missing you, all caps. I'm scared. Yeah, but if you throw an exclamation point at the end of missing you, it's like, oh my god, they really miss me.

They really miss me. You know? Yeah. Well, that shit's very real. But I just use them so sparingly, those exclamations. Maybe it's an East Coast thing. It's a lot of exclamation points over here. Where are you originally from? L.A. You're originally from L.A. That it's an East Coast thing. It's a lot of exclamation points over here. Where are you originally from?

L.A. You're originally from L.A. That's why you're a psychopath. That's why I look like Cookie Marsup. Where the fuck do you think I got this jacket from? You know what the real problem is with the dating apps is those led you guys to giving up entirely the power of the pussy because it just became so easy for guys to go on like five six seven dates a night where even if you strike out four or five times you're hooking up one night who's fucking on the first date from an app maybe maybe i'm wrong because i don't know

but i'm saying that it became like it used to be if you wanted to get laid or find a girl, like, it was pretty, you had to go out and, like, hope that someone at the bar, you're attracted to them, they're attracted to you, and then it's got to click and all that shit. And so. Timber is very, let's fuck. Yeah. But in those moments, it was like, oh, like, this chick's hot or, and she seems to like me back.

And, like, maybe i'll get her number maybe if you're really lucky you go home right away but like if it's not it's like the next time i see her maybe i will and in between we got a text and all that whereas yeah tinder is just like do you want to fuck no okay you want to fuck no you want to fuck okay and you just move on until you find somebody and then it's like you no longer have the power so you know what is fucked up sorry i just thought of this you know, they do this thing on the dating apps. You wouldn't know because you're not on there. But they do this thing where you go through all the options.

And then they said, do you want to unlock more options for $12.99? And you're single and you're alone. So you're like, yes, I want to unlock more dick. And you unlock it and none of them are hot and none of them match. And then you're like, I could have gotten a coffee. Well, what do you think about like the. Just so you know, they do the same thing to children with apps.

Do you want this outfit for 30 cents and you're going to spend the next thing you know you're a fucking $300 in debt. I know how that goes on fucking Roblox. What do you think about like if you find a guy

who was on Tinder for 500 bucks, that like ultra package, it's $500 a month. Wait, what? Yeah, Tinder offers a's 500 a month wait what yeah tinder offers a 500 a month package that's like you get the extras and no i'm not paying that that's a fucking no you probably i mean if you're a girl and paying for the 500 a month you're you're i think you're pretty crazy but what would you think if there was a guy, you're talking to a guy, maybe you didn't meet him on Tinder,

you met him in real life, but you find out he's on Tinder and you find out he's paying $500 a month. He's a fucking loser. Right? I'm sorry, have you never fingered anybody? You're paying $500 to be on Tinder? That's sad.

But maybe he's like, $500 doesn't mean anything. I don't give a shit. That's true. Got money to burn. Well? That's sad. But maybe he's like $500 doesn't mean anything. That's true. Got money to burn. Well, that's different. That changes everything. Actually, I love this man. Is he available?

Is he six foot three and rich? Then it's okay. It's okay. How long were you single before this boyfriend? Oh, from 2021. Two two years that's not that long i mean it's kind of long it felt long i mean yeah yeah what's long to one person i don't know two years well i was in a relationship that i was so happy that one ended fuck dude how long did that go for a year we lived together i was like like, but I didn't get rid of my apartment

because I knew. Say what? I had my apartment, but I like moved in there, but I was like, I'm not getting rid of my apartment just in case. Oh, so you moved in with him

and kept your... I kept my apartment. Did he know that? Yeah, he knew that. I have never heard of a more doomed relationship. Hey, babe, you want to move in? Yeah, but I'm going to keep my place for the inevitable crashing and burning.

I'm going to keep lighting a couple grand on fire a month. Just in case. That's crazy. He was very wealthy, and he would get mad at me for taking too many baths. And I was like, hey, fuck you. I'm going to go take another bath. Well, time out. How many baths did you take?

How many baths did we take? How many baths did we take? A bath a night. That's not too many. It is a lot, though. He said the water bill was high, but he was a millionaire. Oh, I mean, okay. He was a millionaire, and he was buying crypto. Well, he's probably not a real millionaire.

I lost $100,000 of crypto, and then I was like, I'm out. If you're complaining about the water bill, you're a fucking loser. I thought he was being like, you're a bum. Get out of the fucking tub. You're in the tub all day. How much could the water bill be for a bath a night? And he was buying little froggies for $100,000. He was buying $20,000 frogs.

And I was like, okay, this doesn't really make sense because you're trading cryptos or whatever they're called. Oh, man. He was so into the fucking uh nft game and i was like yeah but you're losing so much money like stop complaining about my baths bro you lost 80k from buying the world of women nfts as cool as the honker guy is is how big of a loser this other guy is. That guy. Yo, I can't.

I've never even thought about the water bill. I guess I could see doing the water bill because I... No, no, no. Because I can't realistically complain about you just being in the bath for so long.

But eventually, I can complain about this. Here's how much i hate you 84 extra dollars i can't complain you're being too relaxed for a lot of the time and he was crazy he would be like um can i show you the way to load up the dishwasher and i said listen this is how i load up the dishwasher if you you have a problem with it. That's a thing. That's very much a thing. I feel like that's a thing. Like, like. The dishwasher, the placements of cups. Like, people have their way.

Where do you put the bowls? I'm fucking an artist. I freestyle. I go, psh. Oh, Picasso over here. You two are nightmares, I bet. What are you? Oh, so you relate to the OCD dishwasher behavior?

No, but I mean, I'm just saying I have a way that I do it. I bet what do you oh so you relate to the ocd no but i mean i'm just saying i have a way that i do it i bet you so if i'm doing it that way like just let me fucking do it you know what i mean the people who like swoop in and they just like i put it there and they just took it and move it that's what he would do that yeah that's annoying he he would be like you're doing this all wrong and i was like listen do you want do you want to fucking do it yeah well that's the other thing i mean i also like like if you did something blatantly stupid like let's say you put a fucking pot in that like the little spinny thing is gonna like hit it or something like that right right i would let you i would still let you do that and then when you leave i'd be like i'm gonna fix this yes don't right in front of my face be like

moving this like i put it down you move it i put it down you move it it's like and then but then i i've gotten to the point where if that's happening i'm just like i just Right in front of my face, be like, moving this. Like, I put it down, you move it. I put it down, you move it. It's like, ugh. But then I've gotten to the point where if that's happening, I'm just like, I just kind of like transition to them doing it. You know what I mean? I just like walk away, and all of a sudden they're doing it. But I did, where do you put the bowl? Like a cereal bowl. Everywhere.

Yeah! Everywhere! Anywhere that I can! In a cereal bowl-sized hole. Yeah, yeah. What do sized hole yeah the dishwasher is open yeah yeah the first thing you're putting in is a cereal bowl where do you put it okay very first one front row bottom not me top shelf i'll get oh don't get don't get to the top but like if it's crowded yeah but your first option first is front row bottom. Bowls and plates are bottom. Yeah. Cups and shit are on the top.

Yeah, because they're heavier. Now I put my bowl on top, baby. It's getting clean. I can't. I mean, again, I don't really care about it. But the first time I saw that, I was like, bowls go on the bottom. But front row bottom only holds like four bolts between the first two rows. So like,

I'm doing ice cream. I kind of do like front row, I do like edges almost. See, he's crazy. Yeah. He's a murderer. We find out he's a murderer.

Yeah, like along the side almost. No. He's OCD with this. I just go front two. And they face out. They're up or they're down? Up.

Guys, I just throw this shit in there, put a little soap and say, I'll see you when you're clean. Have you ever wondered why the fuck dishwashers take like three and a half hours? Yes. What the fuck is that? If I'm cleaning a plate by hand,

and I understand that the dishwasher will get them more clean, but not like that much longer, that shit runs for hours. Hours. You ever cook the salmon in water in there no i've seen white people do that what though you wrap up your your meat in tinfoil and you put it in there and it's like hot water that's fucking disgusting i mean it's not but it is dishwasher salmon

sous vide it's like yeah it's like yeah it's the same thing as cook like boiling it with like hot water sort of thing do that but it's i mean I don't need it in there. I mean, it's not dirty water. You don't put the soap in. Okay, okay. I just don't like the vibe of anything you're telling me about cooking salmon in my dishwasher. Would you clean your vibrator in the dishwasher? No. That seems like a fair game.

I was like, maybe I should start, though. That's actually kind of a good idea. Yeah. Because you think about it, it probably needs a good scrub down after a while. Yeah, actually. I'm going to go home and throw that in the dishwasher. Anywhere I want! Right next to my cereal bowl!

So this boyfriend, what made you pull the trigger and trigger and settle down i really like him it was like old-fashioned yeah yeah no i really enjoy his presence he was um because i i before that i was dating someone who was very non-committal he was like 50 and he didn't want to have kids and he didn't want any of that stuff. And then I started dating this guy and he's already a dad. He's a single dad. So you're dressed like this and also are responsible for a child.

Somebody calls you stepmom, huh? Not yet, no. Because we haven't been dating that long. I haven't met his kids. How old are the kids? He's a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. Wow. Yeah, shout out to him.

I know that game. 7-year-old boy or two-year-old. Wow. Yeah. Shout out to him. I know that game. Seven-year-old boy or girl? Two boys. Two boys. So what are you going to do in like a year when the seven-year-old is bigger than you? Be like, I got to go. I have a set. Comedy.

Yeah. So are you going to be stepmom if you have your way? I don't know. We'll see. I don't think – I mean I'm open to being a stepmom if you have your way? I don't know. We'll see. I don't think – I mean, I'm open to being a stepmom, but I'm not like, I need to be a stepmom or I'm out. We just started dating, so. But, yeah, no, the things about him that I really liked were because most of the guys in L.A. don't want kids and they don't want to be a dad. And I've been wanting to find a partner who

wants children and that's really not something that's happening in la they're like just like all of la the the men that i've been i was having entanglements with um none of them wanted kids no and none of them wanted to really define the relationship. I mean, when the whole town is predicated upon fame and money and success and fucking, you're probably not going to find many people who are like, I want to have the American dream, picket fence and all that. Right, right. So you just look in the wrong place.

Yeah, exactly. And then, yeah yeah and so he had kids and i liked that is he gonna have more kids with you though i don't know it's a big it's a big part you guys are asking me some serious questions where do you see this relationship going he actually paid us for this whole interview is there a wedding in the world what's happening I sit down on the couch on Valentine's Day all of a sudden you guys are like do you guys is there a prenup

is there no what did you think of Jada and her whole bitch yeah she was tough it just came out I don't even know it was like Toretsi the bitch that's the first thing that came. I don't even know. You asked me. That was great. I like that. It was like Toretsi. The bitch. That's the first thing that came out.

I don't know. Jada's off. Jada's obviously off because if she wasn't off, Will wouldn't be acting all fucking crazy either. Yeah. They're both unhinged. Get them out. I think it flies under the radar, though, that they're both Scientologists.

Like, no shit. They're all fucking crazy. They are? Yeah. I don't think they're, like, full-blown,-blown but they are for sure i believe associated and into it i believe will smith like fully i'm gonna let's do some research or are or they deny it but it's like of course you deny it there are at least rumors that he funded like the scientology school in la i mean i'll tell you something crazy about will smith when i used to work at Bloomingdale Studio Services in Los Angeles,

before I was a comedian, Will Smith's stylist would come in and she would buy 365 pairs of Calvin Klein underwear for Will Smith because he needs a new pair of underwear every single day. I have wanted to do that with boxers and almost down to t-shirts as well. I want every t-shirt I have, as soon as I wash it, it shrinks up or it doesn't feel the same or doesn't fit the same. I want to be the most wasteful fucking asshole. It's so weird. 365 pairs of Calvin Klein underwear.

You wear them once and that's it? Done. See you later. That's so great. We didn't have enough for him. Yeah, of course not. They had to special order it. Yeah.

That's insane. Yeah. But it's also like... I forgot about that till right now. Like, you just never have... Like, the thing about it, when you have underwear, you never have to worry about laundry. 365 pairs. Well, how many days in a year, babe?

Just one pair a day. You do the math. But that's like kind of... It's pig-ish. Yeah. Totally. Seven days... 365 well how many days in the year babe just one you do the math that's like kind of it's pig-ish yeah totally seven days seven pairs

which seems like a good amount don't get me wrong it is so incredibly wasteful and such an asshole move 14 pairs and it's so awesome I actually just this morning

I discovered that my uh cleaning people have been and I use this word very loosely hiding my underwear on me. I've been buying so much. Hunting them in the drawer? What do you mean stealing them?

It's a drawer I didn't use. I've been buying so much new underwear and so many new pairs of socks. Because they've just been stashing them over here. I was like what is this drawer? And it was just full of underwear and socks. Well now I that is

I don't know where I fall on that one because on the one hand they don't know. I fall on that one. Because on the one hand, they don't know. And they're just like, I got to put all this shit somewhere. So how about here and there? But on the other hand, it's like. One time my vibrator was missing after my cleaning lady came. And I'm like, did she take it?

Did she throw it out? What happened? You never found it? I don't know. I never found it. You never found it? I mean, it's gone? It's gone. She took that shit. She found it? I don't know I never found it You never found it? I mean it's gone? It's gone

She took that shit She stole it? Or maybe she threw it out and was like Maybe she's like religious She was like this is a sin This is dark What kind of vibrator was it? It was pink

Was it like an intense one or just like a standard one? It was like a plasticky Like it was a standard one? It was like a plasticky, like it was a long time ago. It's not like you have one that's like dragging. It was like a rabbit or something. Yeah, it's like the standard shit, right? Yeah, standard vibe. If you had some like horse dick thing, I could see someone be like, this girl needs help. This is expensive.

I'm going to sell it to you. By the way, Will Smith did fund a Scientology school. Yeah, I mean, they're totally crazy and they keep, both of them like would put out statements being like, we like have an understanding and we have like a love for each other that people don't get

and it's like, well, yeah, like you seem, Will Smith seems horribly sad all the time and acting out and you seem like a fucking bitch

who can't move on from Tupac. I don't know, whatever you're doing, whatever you're doing is not working. That does seem real. Totally.

What you just said might be the most real thing anyone said about Jada. She's still hung up on Pac, baby. And like they, all the shit she said, like people like kind of

truth, like fact checked it and they were like, you didn't go to prom with him. You didn't do this with him. You didn't do that with him. It's like, that's gotta suck.

She said she went to prom with him? I think so, yeah. She hallucinated a prom with Tupac? It's like, that's got to suck. She said she went to prom with him? I think so, yeah. She hallucinated a prom with you, Pop? It's like, get out of here. Or like, he proposed while he was in jail, and it's like, the timelines didn't match up. It's like, you're just lying. You can't date a girl or a woman who's love

or who ever loved a dead person. Why? Because you can't live up to it. You'd be in an argument. He would have fucked up by now, just so you know. Just so you know. You know what it is? To stick in that same realm, Biggie and Tupac are like,

oh my God, they're the best rappers ever. By now, Biggie would have had three or four albums that fucking stunk. But he has two classics, so he's the greatest ever and it's like you know he would have had you know jay-z had you know magna carta holy grail he probably he would have had one of those too you know i feel like tupac would not text me back that's the energy that he puts out oh yeah i mean yeah listen i don't mean i don't mean to be rude but i don't think you're getting a text back from Tupac. I don't think. At least I'm self-aware.

Yeah. Number one most important thing, trait to have, self-awareness. I do an exclamation. What's going on, Pac? Did you not get my last text? So, were you on the road now these days or what? Yeah, on the road a lot. I don't know how you guys do it.

I go to Austin a lot now. The mothership is there. We went to Vegas and now this week we're going to go to Daytona and then we got to go to Chicago. It's like three weeks in a row that I'm traveling and I am like such a bitch about it. I'm like complaining and whining. I am such a bitch about it too. Really? But aren't you doing it all the time? I do it all the time, but I try to do it as little as possible. I haven't seen you guys in a few years. I'm like, bitch about it too. Really? But aren't you doing it all the time? I do it all the time, but I try to do it as little as possible.

I haven't seen you guys in a few years, so I'm like, I'll get there. Do you like Austin? I love Austin. I like – Yeah, so wait. You guys did Rogan a couple times now? Yeah, we did it twice this year. But within like this year.

Yeah, we did it in May, and then we did it in December. That's pretty dope to get the callback that quickly. Because I feel like when you go on Rogan, you know if you went well or not or people received it well or not. And you might tell yourself, oh, it was fine, it was fine. But you know if it didn't. But if you get the invite back within a matter of months, you know that it went well. Yeah. Well, the first time Kim and I ever did it was in 2014.

Oh, you did it way back then. With Tony Hinchcliffe. It was me because we did kill tony so it was me kim um me and kim and tony on and that was in 2014 that's kind of a little different though if you had done kill tony and then yeah and then we got invited back last year 10 years later and then we got invited back again but now we're friends with him so it's kind of different you're doing ice baths and shit? No, we can smoke weed and hang, you know?

It's just like you're shooting the shit with your friend, so it's a little different now. Whereas before, we've known him for a long time, is what I'm saying. Did you see a change in things when you went on? I feel like that Rogan effect, once he went to Spotify, was not really the same. No, yeah. change in things when you went on? I feel like that Rogan effect did not, you know, once you went to Spotify, it was not really the same.

No, yeah. It used to be like, you know, your career was made. It used to be, like, I remember when I did it in 2014, I got so many followers that my Instagram was like, it was like, it was basically like, we have to make sure these aren't bots. Really? It, like, slowed you down or something? Yeah, yeah, but now it's

different, yeah yeah that's crazy yeah fuck you zuckerberg let this shit roll let me get my followers fuck you zuck would you rather fuck zuckerberg or elon musk zuck zuck does jujitsu yeah he's pretty elon musk gross there's that picture of elon musk that was roundly lambasted where he's like on his yacht yeah and it's like in a bathing suit and everyone's like like the whole internet for like a week was like what a disgusting body this man elon yeah and i was like and then he got i was like that's the body i want i strive for that body. But then now he's on Ozempic, so. Everybody's on Ozempic.

Yeah, everyone in LA is on Ozempic. I feel like if you're on Ozempic, like, cool, but you have to say it. Yeah, what's up, LA? The people, it's like, all of a sudden I just lost 85 pounds, but like. Everyone. It's natural. It's like, oh, it happened to coincide with this fucking magic drug that came out. Just fucking say it.

I'm not doing anything different. Just dieting. You're not fucking dieting, Chloe. We know. You're shooting up. You fucking psycho bitch. Stop shooting up Ozembic and being like,

I don't know. I have a trainer. Get a coke addiction like an adult. Grow up. Do some speed. Yeah. So you and Kim are – you guys have a show together? We have This Bitch, yeah. But you also kind of just go do like your own thing?

Yeah, we have This Bitch podcast together and then I have a solo podcast, Shank. Right. And so we divide and conquer. Do you guys ever fight yeah of course we're always together i mean we also wrote a script together um last year and that that tested the friendship big time that's gotta be like a well because we were podcasting together and then we sat down to write a fucking movie we wrote a movie together how'd that go oh it tested our friendship but then we we recovered we saved our marriage in hawaii you guys fuck yeah yeah you went to hawaii together did no work and just like hung out yeah yeah and that and that was that's a lot you can't i feel like i need

almost like separation of church and state we do so much together here that's also kind of social anyway and it's also that if we were really like it was really nice to just be friends like and not have to do work stuff and just be like we're on a beach this is why we started hanging out because we like each other yeah not because we have this thing that we're trying to do did were you at each other's throats at one point though yeah of course well you say of course i'll call her a cunt and she'll be like you're being a bitch can i say that on here? I don't know.

Your face was like, was that bad? No, but I mean like in a genuine way or like you're being a cunt or like, yo, fuck you. You're being a cunt. In a genuine way. In like a. I don't know what I mean. And then we got into some real fights. But the thing about us is that we're not really passive aggressive because I'm a little.

I'm Puerto Rican too. That's right. I forgot. You're the Puerto Rican Jew. I'm Puerto Rican. So. That's right. I forgot you're the Puerto Rican Jew. 25% Puerto Rican. The Puerto Rican Jews. You don't want to fuck with me. And she's the Puerto Rican Irish, right?

Yeah, and I'm Irish, too. Fucking disaster. And I'm Irish, too. So I go, she looks all scary and shit, but I can check her. I'll be like, shut the fuck up. That was my question, though, because she also trains, right? Do you fight? No.

So let's be honest. She could kill me. Okay, okay yeah if it goes down she's gonna break your neck absolutely but that we're on the same team i could put if if another bitch fucks with me i send kim after her that's the threat poor man yeah i i feel like um at uh bonfire she didn't she choke out bobby kelly yes dude she put him into sleep really i think she did umplatas put him in the fucking, dude. She put him to sleep. Really? I think she did. She does triangles, umplatas. She put him in the fucking chokehold.

She put him to sleep. Yeah, she's a bluebell. Those sound like spells. I know. She's a triangle umplata. She told me that, and I'm all proud of myself because I'm naming the moves. Those are the only moves I know. Triangle and umplata.

And I don't even know if I'm saying them right. Yeah, she does not seem like one to trifle with. But I also, I mean, Puerto Rican Jew is... We're like sisters at this point. You got two sides of you that are equally Ascarian. I'm Puerto Rican Jew Irish. Those three are fucking crazy. Not to be fucked with.

Yeah, I mean... I identify as a six-foot male. fucking crazy. Not to be fucked with. Yeah. I mean, those three things. I identify as a six foot male. Those three things at their stereotypical worst is like, watch out. Yeah.

If that hurricane all comes together at once, fuck. That's going to be the toughest for your boyfriend. Yeah. For any boyfriend you ever have where you're like,

God, I don't want, we can't go outside because I'll have to fight somebody. Yeah. You strike me big time as a girl who's like, you're going to fight that guy or what? Like, I'm going to pick a fight and then you have to pick up the pieces. Well, my boyfriend now is strong. So if I started a fight, he could handle it.

In the past, I wouldn't start fights because I know that the guy I was dating, it would be too much. Dude, that's the worst. You're dating a crazy bitch and she won't pick fights because she knows you're scrawny. Oh, that's the most emasculating thing ever. I had a thing where I liked scrawny men for a very long time. Times have changed. Sounds like times are good, though. Times are better, yeah.

All right, so you're on the road. I'm on the road. I'm in LA. And you got the podcast. Yeah. I'm at the Comedy Store. I became a paid regular last year. Let's go.

Mothership, Comedy Store, This Bitch, Shank. Yeah. Rogan. Yeah. Movie. Yeah, when's the movie coming out? We're trying to sell it right now.

Let's go. How does that work? You're asking the wrong bitch, okay? All I know is that we decided... What does I'm trying to sell a movie mean? Does it mean like you wrote a movie? You gotta get to an agency? We developed it with our managers together.

Yeah. Me and Kim. And then you're trying to get in front of like a studio exec? Yeah, we're sending it out right now all right well good luck with that thank you you got it it was great thank you guys so much is that it yeah that went by so fast uh oh can you follow me at princess shank yeah princess shank princess shank all right thank you hell yeah that was fun. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.