KFC Radio - David Spade, Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Dana White, and The Rainforest Cafe

Episode Date: July 25, 2019

David Spade talks about his success on Instagram, Chris Farley, Chris Rock, and how girls love getting hit on on Instagram. Cody Ko and Noel discuss Tiny Meat Gang, That's Cringe, Jake & Logan Paul, Adriana Chechik, Vine, the blowjob robot, cube jobs, Tik Tok and meeting fans in public. Dana White on UFC 240, the bottle cap challenge, the death of Maxim Dadashev and Buddy McGirt trying to stop the fight, and whether he would trade places with Roger Goodell. Tommy Smokes joins to talk about the Rainforest Cafe and his small bladder. The Office: outfield assists, taking your shoes off in public. Voicemails: kissing cousins, conspiracy girl, collecting baseball cards, worst places to ask someone out.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by SeatGeek. We got a big week of barstool socializing coming up because John Mayer's in town. I think a bunch of people are going to the John Mayer concert. Really? Yep. I'm sure if you want to go, you can grab yourself some tickets at SeatGeek. I want to be invited rather than go.

Pop Punk has an event at Mulcahy's. It's much more important to be invited. I don't care about John Mayer. I care about being invited. I do care about John Mayer, but I'm not going to invite myself. That's crazy. Well, we're not social. I've been working on that.

I have been. Yeah, I don't. We're going to talk about you in a second. Okay. But if you want to go buy a ticket to John Mayer, you want to go buy a ticket to Pup Punk at Mulcahy's. Maybe they're on SeatGeek. Because what SeatGeek does is they have tickets available for every single type of live entertainment.

That means music, sports, comedy, acting, musicals, all of it. I'm sure you maybe even get some KSU Radio tickets live on SeatGeek. Maybe a little secondary market action for us. Our next show is August 14th. We did another sellout in 24 hours. So maybe if you – listen, you probably – I want you to come if you bought a ticket. But you probably could make some money off that on the secondary market on SeatGeek because SeatGeek, it's full transparency in the ticket marketplace.

And you can find out how much – if you want to make some money, you can see what the demand is, jack up the price, make a nice profit. Or if you're looking to buy tickets, you can find out how much you know if you want to make some money you can see what the demand is jack up the price make a nice profit or if you're looking to buy tickets you can find people unloading them you get the best price possible because it's full transparency also you can get ten dollars off when you use promo code kfc so download the free ckey app go to settings add a promo code kfc for ten dollars off maybe we should do that we got a few comps oh on there there you them on there. There you go. See if anybody really wants to come to the show. Craig Carton shit, though.

End up getting in trouble, bro. You got your bra on? Or are you just sitting like that? No, I'm just practicing. Yeah, just working on the posture. Your shirt is wild. Yeah, it's a nice shirt. Barstoolgold.com slash KFC.

It looks like a bowling shirt. I've been wearing pretty nice shirts lately. This is not a you shirt. What do you mean? This is like a Dan shirt. You think so? I like this shirt. Oh, that's a big catch shirt too.

First of all, it's a short sleeve button up, which is just definitely a Dan shirt. But then it's like, that's a Dan shirt, too. First of all, it's a short sleeve button up, which is just definitely a Dan shirt. But then it's like, that's a Dan shirt, man. I don't think so. I think this is a me shirt. I bought it with, I got, these kind of, you know what the worst thing about having nice shirts is? What?

You can't wear them a lot. Like, every time I wear that. Because they stand out. The tie dye shirt, which I wear like every other week. People are like, you only wear that shirt. No, it's just you remember it. That says more about this shirt than it says about me you just remember it because it's so fucking nice it does feel like you wear it like three times a week though right because it's so memorable i did last

week i had that black and white shirt i can't wear that till like august because everyone was like that's an awesome shirt when i was a kid in like like middle school and high school i used to have like a monday outfit because my rule as a kid was like you can't wear it like twice in the same week right that's back when you're like younger. So I would like – but I wanted to wear it so bad. So I'd be like, Monday, I can wear it on my like blue shirt, whatever the fuck it was. It was like Monday was my cool outfit day because you don't want to repeat. But now as you're older, it's more than like a week.

It takes – especially when you're on camera and like you do things that other people see. And then especially like you're on camera. You know what? It probably – they're probably not wrong because you probably probably like we probably released an interview like a week later that you wore that shirt oh yeah and it looks like you wore and you were wearing it yesterday you know what i mean so they're probably it probably does for the fans feel like you wear like three times a week based on when we released i did i had to put the yeezus t-shirt in the back of my closet because everyone's like you wear that all the time i wore i've worn that shirt twice since i

bought it no three times listen don't let the fucking it's just like you gotta you gotta i bought six of these six different shirts like this and so i think i'm gonna go one of this style per week but you can't wear like so then then it's like i said you've won the market and go six days in a row they're fucking they're comfy they're flowy they're they're nice shirts they're stylish it's not a you shirt it's a me shirt you don't ever wear button up short sleeves it's fucking stylish so it's a me shirt. You don't ever wear button-up short sleeves. It's fucking stylish, so it's a me shirt. It's a bowling shirt. It's a cool-ass shirt, therefore, me shirt.

What is it? What do you mean, what is it? Is it like a wheel on there? I don't know what it is. I'm going to say it's the sun. Sun, and then that's like the ocean and the beach. Yeah, it's hieroglyphics. It's pretty cool.

It's not hieroglyphics. It's hieroglyphics, Stefan. How do you know? I was going to say, it is hieroglyphics. What are pretty cool. It's not hieroglyphics. It's hieroglyphics, Stefan. How do you know? It's hieroglyphics. What are you talking about? That looks like a cave to me. That looks like a glyphic. I got a glyphic.

That is the tone of cave skin. It definitely has a very American Southwest appeal. Yeah. You wear that in a Pueblo as you're bowling. It's not a shirt. By the way, I'm drinking orange juice. I saw that. I was going to talk about that.

Why? You ever remember some things like Superfire? I haven't had orange juice in like 10 years. I drink orange juice pretty regularly. It's delicious. I drink glasses of orange juice and glasses of milk. Yeah, well, I mean milk. We're McPoyles.

Clancy's are Mccpoils people think it's so weird that i drink milk well yeah no you know what i he's a legit mcpoil he'll he'll drink uh milk and eat craft singles and potato chips as like a snack it's disgusting but you like he'll crush your milk because he's not anymore keto life yeah shut up brend Brendan. So people in this office have been, I guess, working out a bit and being healthy. What, Tommy? And, yeah, everyone's kind of got a little thing going on, right? Tommy, Frankie. I hope you better not be ready to throw some shade right now because you're leading the charge of, like, being this new person.

No, no, no. Fuck you. That's not what I'm doing. Look, I encourage you to better yourself. If you want to do it go ahead but the funny thing is when people people eat healthy for like a week and then and this is universal this isn't any this isn't specific to anybody in the office this isn't even referencing a specific instance it's just it's then they become like an expert it's so funny where i'll be like hey man you're looking pretty good. It's like, you know what I've been doing?

I've been eating less. I've been walking to work. Yeah, I got a pretty fucking good idea what you've been doing to lose some weight. I got, you're not reinventing

the wheel here, pal. You know what I'm doing? The number of calories coming in is not as high as the calories going out, and so you lose some weight. Instead of going to lunch at McDonald's,

I've been getting salads. It's like a 600 calorie difference. I'm aware. Thank you very much. I need the details. I know how weight loss works. You know what else I don't need, by the way? If you're sick, that's fine. Just tell me you're sick. I don't need all the details. People will be like, oh, something

didn't agree with me. It's coming out of both ends. I didn't need to know that. It's fine. I know how sick works. You're sick. You missed work. It's fine. Well, but sick is different at work because what you want the sympathy and you want no no no that you're like that's why i was out it's so hard i i did it i was thinking it's when you're sick or you're hurt or you're like you're not having a great day and it's affecting your work all of them yeah it's affecting your work it's such a delicate balance because I was thinking about when I fucked up my back last week or two weeks ago, whatever that was, where I was like, I was walking to work and

I was like, all right, this sucks. Cause like, look, if I go in like walking, like it hurts. Then it's like, Oh, look at him really laying it on thick, isn't he? And if I go in walking fine, he was fucking lying. He's fine. He wanted to sleep in this morning yeah so you're always just like or nobody even fucking cares and they're not looking but but that's that's high school cafeteria syndrome where yeah everyone's looking

that's kind of my point is like if someone if oh hey where were you yesterday i was sick it's like okay fine i'm not i really don't you know you feel like you're like all right i need to tell them so they think i wasn't just taking off. Like exactly what you just described. But in reality, it's just like, I don't care, Janice. Like whatever, you know. Coming out of both ends. Even if you don't care. Didn't need to know that you were shitting and puking. Even if you don't care, you care because it will be gossip.

Like gossip doesn't mean you care about it. Gossip just means it's something to fucking do because you're bored. And that's definitely also what goes on here. You see Fyldeberry walking? He's fucking fucking fine. Yeah. And it'll just – and it happens here. I imagine it happens everywhere. Gossip is just human nature.

I think we're worse. I really do. Oh, I think so too. In the average place. I think we are too because I think everyone there is – You know what it is? You know what it is? Here is true gossip.

What you just said about gossip is the case for the rest of the world because it's like this job sucks so fucking much. Let's talk about the dickhead and his divorce over there. You know what I mean? Let's gossip because we just need something to do. Here, it's a pretty fun place. We're all pretty busy, or I don't know, we're busy at least. So when you're gossiping, it's actually malicious. It's like let's talk about this person behind their back.

Because there's a million other ways to entertain yourself here so if you're gossiping here you're doing it on purpose yeah right that's what i mean put on the tv play video games watch a movie don't even come like just stay home so people i'm gonna go to work because i want to talk about this guy and whether or not he was really sick and look i'm guilty too i've done it don't get me wrong yeah i'm not uh there's a reason why we're so well versed in it yeah don't get me wrong i'll fucking gossip but anyway i mean i liked orange juice i don't know how he got there but i love this fucking show man it's a great show we're on we're on we're on fire i don't know i don't know where that came you know what i'm saying like like i just you you have had orange juice a lot recently so it's hard for me to think

of something like i don't know what you have not had recently but like i opened up the fridge and i saw some uh by the way shout out to simply orange because tropicana had a lockdown on that market for like my entire life i mean and i don't know i feel like simply orange come around maybe five years it's probably more like 20 but in my mind it's like five yeah no it's right it was tropicana and i'm still a tropicana guy but i saw that it wasn't like i look at simply orange and i'm like oh no way it's a sexy bottle that's what it is yeah yeah a hundred percent it's got the y it's very sexy yeah it's a hot bottle that bottle coca-cola product what it's a coca-cola product that's you know that makes perfect sense coca-cola is probably sprinkling some fucking some addictive drug in there i mean the headline says coca-cola is simply orange is

anything but yeah well that's what i was also gonna say this is probably orange juice is sneaky like the worst thing for you and everyone's like oh it's like it's good for you here's a cup of sugar it's a giant cup of sugar and i just had a full solo cup of it but god damn a cold cold glass of orange juice yeah okay um we are off the rails that reminds me of the simply orange is anything but reminds me of you didn't watch parks and rec nope but there's a scene in Parks and Rec. I'm actually getting sick of you referencing it. So we can just get all of your Parks and Rec references out so we can never do this again. Thanks.

It's basically Leslie Knope is – she's a politician and she's – I think it's Fatburger. No, Fatburger is a real place. Paunchburger. Paunchburger. That boy, Nicky. And it's just like, well, if you want a child size, they pull up like it's like the biggest thing ever. I'm like, yes, it's the size of an average child. It's the size of the soda.

And then they're like going through and it's like your water has 600 calories in it. And they're like, well, if you want diet water zero, that has only 100 calories. It's like everything is just like lying about what's actually in it that's just the way the world works it's a fucking world the world's crazy how about uh i was thinking about that today with like the i was i was uh i was up that at this point i was up like quarter eight ish and uh i was just watching um the muller stuff and just kind of following online and people were talking about like you know just doing quotes i was like, it's so weird to watch it and see how he says it, and then you read it, and it's just –

How they translate it. Again, it's not new. I'm not breaking news here, but it's so fascinating how if I read something and then I watch something, it's so incredibly different, and then you think about how many people are like – will not be seeing it. And look, it's 8 a.m. on a Tuesday or whatever day it is, Wednesday.

8 a.m. on a Wednesday. Most people aren't fucking watching it. It's just so wild. I say this all the time about the Barstool effect where I'm like, we always say, give it a shot, give it a listen, read us, then make your opinion. They're not going to do that. Which I get.

Which is fair. I did it with Logan Paul. I was arguing with people all day. With Paul, who, by the way, he garnered us a billion impressions. I don't know what that means. But literally, people say a billion as hyperbole. And she goes through, she scours the internet all the time for anybody who's writing about us. Anytime we're mentioned. And I'll be honest honest it's like never like so we went from zero to a billion because of logan paul can you explain to me what it means

yeah so i don't know how she she like you know we know how many hits we get you know i could show you on our blog how many like hits uh if i write an article about logan paul it gets like 50 000 clicks then you know 50 000 impressions i don't know how she does it she has her own system i'm sure you can look at like some blogs will put up like uh how many people are reading this yeah so i think like there's like publicity um apps or like she has like you can subscribe to that where you get certain which is like yeah i mean i'm sure that's for this exact reason for pr people so So she went through and Entertainment Tonight wrote about us, and that's the only one I remember. Entertainment Tonight, Yahoo, People.

So she added all those up, and in under 24 hours, I'm sure it's at over a billion now, but when we spoke to her, it had 892 million impressions of articles saying, Logan Paul was on KFCc radio on barcelona sports and said xyz so when people were like why would you have logan paul on your show like i'll have fucking anybody on anybody i mean that's why we had kathy griffin i am not to me it ended up being i i don't co-sign kathy griffin i would co-sign logan paul but i don't think of this is like when people say retweets are not an endorsement. Coming on my show doesn't necessarily

mean I like you. Now, 99.9% of the time, it's friendly, it's someone who is in our wheelhouse, in our demo, they want promotion, we want to get to talk, it's all copacetic. But I will gladly, I loved having Kathy Griffin on. I think it's something that we totally lack at Barstool.

It's like, let's have some discussion, let's have some disagreement, let's have some arguing, debate, because it's compelling and it's something that we totally lack at barstool it's like let's have some discussion let's have some disagreement let's have some some arguing debate because and that's that's compelling and it's interesting and intriguing that's not super rare for because it's like i mean we're essentially a late night show yes right where it's like you talk about current topics and then you have a pr interview and we and we have fun and we we try and be different right it's not just like so tell us about the set yeah yeah and we try to be cookie, right? It's not just like, so tell us about the set. Yeah. And we try to be cookie cutter, right? But the whole system is one of like mutual benefit. I feel like terrestrial radio is much more like if there's controversy,

like you have to go on and it's like face the music almost. No one's facing the music here. You just choose not to go on the, on the show. That's why I don't know what Kathy Griffin was thinking. And I'm happy she did it. I'm sure she's like, fuck,

why did I do that? But, uh, I was, I was I was very happy to have it on. And Logan Paul was kind of the same way, except that I ended up being like, oh, this dude, he's just, he's in your face, which I understand, like, rubs people the wrong way. He's very bombastic and energetic, and he definitely is a little naive with, like,

his whole, like, life is awesome. But what it comes down to is he's rich and successful that's why people don't like if i was rich at 24 i probably like life's awesome absolutely and and so it rubs people the wrong way but and to bring this back to what my point was is i kept saying to people like everyone who tweeted us who listened to the interview was like oh shit i hated him and now i don't there's a lot of people who are like no fuck that guy and i'm not even going to waste my breath saying, you should listen to the interview first. Because if they don't want to, they're not going to. But I will say, everything that people say about Logan Paul, other people say about Barstool.

It all sounds like Deadspin articles. If you read those comments and just be like, I don't know why you would associate with this guy. He's trash, and he's bringing you down. That is verbatim what Deadspin says. Word for word. That's a great point. They make those stupid puns. He's rude. He's in your face. He's trash.

They go out of their way to make a metaphor. You know how Deadspin will say, Barstool Sports, for if you don't know, is for frat boys who are brought up in a culture of misogyny and like to drink bleach. Just stupid shit that doesn't even make any sense. That's what these comments say about Logan Paul and Jake Paul. And I'll take it a step further.

There were tons of people who just replied, suicide forest. And I was like, that is size 6 skinny jeans. You're just taking – Wow. This is very good. You know when people just literally say that? Just size 6 skinny jeans. That's what they're doing.

Suicide forest. And it's like, yeah, that is a thing that happened. I don't think anybody – Could you imagine being a barstool fan and and writing people off for like single incidents and i i think that's so i take that personally because like the amount of people who probably would or have written me off in the same way for my shit it's like if you're a fan of my show and you kind of stuck with me through my shit how can you write somebody else off for you know their one incident so that always personally bothers me but and if you're a fan

if you're a fan in general you should trust us that's what i was saying is like uh if you stuck with me and and you're down with me and you and people like i'm a huge fan i've listened to every episode it's like then you should know that i wouldn't put someone on the show like we put kathy on and we were like we don't like her. So it's like, we either like you, or we're going to tell you if we don't. And to be fair, there are a few people that would say, I gave it a shot, he's still kind of annoying. Because, you know, he's, what's good, what's good. If you want to tell me Logan Paul is annoying, sure.

If you want to tell me, I had a buddy who was, he's, you know, I don't know, late 30s, two kids, miserable wife, miserable life. He was like infuriated by the life is dope thing. And I had a bunch of people being like, the Pokemon thing was very funny. Logan, Logan, you know, maybe a little coaching for Logan. If you're going to go around talking about how wise you are and how much wisdom you have to impart, don't use the Pokemon reference. So all that, like you can, you can tell me, yeah, like he's a young, dumb kid. Fine. But anybody who would be like he's trash because what? He went to the suicide forest?

Like I understand. Again, if you don't want to be on video when you're dead, don't kill yourself in public. If he didn't have the minion hat on. I don't know. Fucking do it in your bathroom. I don't know what to tell you, man. Yeah. I mean it's just they make a whole spectacle of it.

And like it or not the suicide forest is now like a an attraction and like a a haunted thing it's not like a place of reverence and all that it's like it's a wacky fucking place on earth and he went and did a wacky vlog there but fine even if you don't like that to to uh to write someone off based on that and then someone else said to me well the difference is you guys are likable no you just like us yeah we're not likable most people hate us you personally like us you personally seem to not like logan paul but it sounds like you didn't even give him a fucking shot and but like i said i don't expect you to give him a shot either so it's just one of those things if you want to hate

hate but at least recognize that you are blindly hating you know i know when i'm blindly hating i used to hate logan paul and I would flat out tell you, it's because he was 21 and making millions of dollars. Yeah, I think I posted a blog about it. I forgot about it. I think it was reminded after. Someone tweeted me when I brought up the 60 Minutes thing. I think I wrote a blog being like, fuck this.

And in fairness to me, it was fair. At least I haven't read the blog. I don't know if it was pre or post DevNest. But it was in the 60 Minutes thing. He's filming a Vine ad for Dunkin' Donuts. And he had $250,000 for it. Yeah. So you hate that.

So I was like, fuck this kid. Right. I think that's fair. Fair from me. Fair from him to make $250,000 in six seconds. Yes. right i think that's a fair fair from me fair from him to make 250 000 in six seconds yes like the reason why people hate logan paul and jake paul and basically all the youtubers is because they're rich and successful if they were not you would just be like oh those are

some weird idiots who like make dumb youtube videos but when you make money and you're successful everyone goes fuck that and that is fair but you at least have to acknowledge that's why you're doing yeah it's not and i don't think anybody here dead guy nobody cares about the suicide forest that is just the reason the ammo and the evidence you're doing it. You don't care about the dead guy. Nobody cares about the suicide forest. That is just the reason, the ammo, and the evidence you're latching onto in order to hate on a guy because he's making way more money than you ever could. Yep. Fact. What's really good?

What's really good with The Office? Let's do an episode of The Office right now. It's brought to you by Let Go. Let it go. Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go. Let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go. Can you sing the whole song? Let it go.

Turn away and slam the door. I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway I definitely could if it's a play that's why it's hard to like perform I get people you know

you could I know that song like front to back if it's on but if you put like an instrumental on I would like goof it up and fuck up the lyrics and shit I could write the goddamn song and I'd be like

I don't remember I don't remember what part comes next Let Go is the uh best place to uh sell your stuff that you might not need you don't have space anymore let's face it if it's just old and you don't want it uh if you're selling stuff locally it's the easiest best way to do it it's a mobile marketplace that lets you uh you know move stuff and gain access to stuff that you might not otherwise have so let's say you're stuff and gain access to stuff that you might not otherwise have. So let's say you're moving and you want to just, rather than move all your stuff,

you want to offload it, you can sell it. Let's say that you are moving into a place and you want to find something on the cheap, you want to find some furniture, something to furnish your new apartment with, you can do that. You're moving into school, out of school, if you're newlyweds, if your parents moving, downsizing, whatever it may be. If you're having a life change and you want to get rid of stuff or acquire it, let go is the easiest way to do it along with the most affordable. And I mean I got to move these sneakers, dude. How many pairs you got? So I'm actually going to do – so I'm restarting Kicks in the Office.

And I think I'm going to do like a 50 in 50 or something like that. Come up with a hashtag and do a new pair of shoes every day. But I don't know how many. But I think it's probably like 75. I was going to say 82. I don't know how I was going to throw a guess out for your shoes. Alright, let's do this. Guess how many pairs of sneakers I have

in honor of Let Go. Whoever gets it correct, tweet it at me. Tweet it at KFC Radio, actually, so you don't ruin my mentions. And we'll randomly pick someone who got the right thing, and we'll give you a tweet at LetGo. Hashtag live and let go. Guess the number of shoes that I have.

What could be a tiebreaker? Favorite pair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tweet the number of shoes I have. What could be a tiebreaker? Favorite pair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tweet the number of shoes I have and favorite pair, something like that, and we'll randomly select. And I'll give you a pair of sneakers. What a deal. So I'm going to go sell some on LetGo

and I'm going to give whoever guesses how many pairs of sneakers I have because I need more space now. You know what I did? I told you I was going to go buy those Fear of God mocks because of Joe Manganiello, and I did it. So those are coming. They're almost here, and I got no spot for them, so I got to at least unload one pair. So let go.

If you've got extra sneakers or extra stuff and you want to unload it, download the app, start buying and selling today, and tweet at us, hashtag liveandletgo, at letgo. Guess how many pairs of sneakers this idiot over here has. Time for the office. Who and what do we got, Johnny? Okay, let's see here. I'm going to go with number one from one of my favorite people in the office.

It's me. Oh, boy. You are feeling yourself, huh? Yeah, yeah. So last feeling yourself, huh? Yeah. So last night, Mike Trout, or two nights ago now, Mike Trout had a hose from center field to keep it a 1-0 game. He threw out Max Muncy, I believe, at the dish. And it made me remember.

Because I forget occasionally. It made me remember that i i truly think i said it's the best play in sports people on twitter got upset because that's what the outfield assist yes the outfield assist i think is one of the more beautiful plays in sports i would ask you what you find what you think would be better well what are we saying beautiful are we saying exciting best i think i think it's one of the, I'll say coolest. And I find it so cool because it's so beautiful. Yeah.

I mean, well, the thing usually is like, it's such, in a weird way, it's a rarity because once the book is out on you, people don't run on you. You know what I mean? If you've got an absolute canon. But then the highlights occur when it's like well i'm not i wouldn't run on him like ordinarily but i'm definitely going to be safe now you know this was in the gap so i'm good and that's when the true beauty strikes uh i mean there's as far as like exciting plays like i'm just thinking of things where it's like must watch uh position player pitching it's not beautiful

but i get gassed up for it because it's actually one of the weird in a weird way it is it i'll say this position player pitching actually is beautiful because it actually usually ends up okay position player and that's how i hate it why it's been ruined for me by twitter well i mean that's because baseball twitter is they do like but i mean they, they do it. But it's not. That's what I mean. Isn't it weird? Like, you would think that people would hang like 10 on the guy.

And it doesn't usually happen. Well, they're talented. You usually get out of the inning at like two, three runs max. That's a lot of runs for an inning. Not really when you think about a fucking, I mean, and that's like max. Sometimes they just get through the inning. And they're just sitting there throwing like 60 mile an hour like ephus pitches and the guys you know it's like this sport is so fucking dumb that like these guys can't even get hits when the guy pitching sucks even more so than people on twitter um ruining it it

was actually there was it was yankees raise i'm gonna say about four years ago yankees were up like 10 and the raise in a position player. And I guess, for some reason, when I woke up in the morning and saw it, it was a super cut together of Yankees just swinging out of their shoes and hitting 500-foot bombs. I guess if I was in the same situation, I would do that. Yeah. But it's the Yankees, so I hated it.

I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. It's the eighth inning. Just go. We're all just trying to get out of here. Happy Gilmore crow hops at it. Just fucking teeing off on balls. You're up 10. Just get the fuck out of here.

I wasn't doing this poor sportsmanship or anything like that. But I was like, Jesus Christ. Do you remember when A-Rod hit the Ephus pitch? It was one of the best things ever. El Duque was really working on that Ephus pitch. He had the Bugs Bunny one. And he snaps it. It was like...

And A-Rod cocked it and then realized he... And he reset and just... Bam! Like 900 feet. It was unbelievable. What's ruined... Twitter's ruined Fat Guy Touchdowns for me. Fat Guy Touchdowns?

Yeah, that's the same thing. They put the siren emoji and shit like that. Most beautiful, exciting plays in sports. You know what my dad's is, which I think is crazy? What's that? Maybe it's because I just don't like football as much as him. Kickoffs. Well, kickoff returns?

Nope, just any kickoff. That's the worst thing in sports. He says it's the most exciting play in sports. I think that's crazy. But he must be in kickoff return. No, he'd be like when we go to games, he's like, all right, pick someone and just watch them. He loves doing this to me. He doesn't let me watch a fucking game.

And it started when I was a kid. It started during hockey. He would give me a player to watch. Watch Bergeron this whole shift. And then he would quiz me on what was the opposition, where was he in good position. What a pain in the ass, your dad. But he would do it during kickoffs, too. He'd pick a player and just watch him.

And it was just like, most of the time, it's just a guy sprinting. I'm like, all right, man. That was awesome, dude. Now, that's terrible. A kickoff return is electric. A missed field goal return is unbelievable. The kick six.

That's incredible. I mean, that's like once in a history. I kick six. That's incredible. That's fairly regular. John, I'm not a hockey guy, but what about when they pull the goalie? Pulling the goalie is crazy. It's always very intense. It's very exciting. It's very exciting. It's usually just during playoffs because there are 82 games

in a year. It's not not exciting during regular season, but it just doesn't compare when Chuck's opposed with an empty net. It's weird, though, too, because you're losing, so it's sort of like a play of desperation. So you probably have a lot of negative feelings with it, too. Yeah. Because you usually lose the game. I'm so negative that I –

Hockey is a tough sport because it's like soccer where there are so few goals scored where when you go down – at least it's me. I was actually saying this during the Stanley Cup when we were talking with Blues fans where they'd be down in the series. They'd be like, it's not over. I go down a goal. I'm like, it's over. The series is over.

We're down 1-0. Fuck, the series is over. Get it next year. Those fucking simple folk over in Missouri. It's okay. We'll get them next game. Missouri sucks. I like triples.

Triples are good. Yeah. First to thirds are dope. Yep. First to third is good. But you know what? Both of those. I like like a double steal.

Those are getting very rare. Like the running game is so dead now. Like a hit and run when it works. A double steal is fun. I think first to third or triple. Stealing home is awesome. First to third or triple I think are so fun. But I think I'm giving that credit to the outfield assist.

Because of that fear is what makes that so cool. And it's also got to be, like, I've always had, like, we watched Reyes for a long time with the Mets, who was, like, you know, leading the league in triples most often. When you, if you, like, you know, if it's a ball off the wall that rolls away and you get a triple or whatever, when you just, like, hit it to the gap and you get three, that's sick. Or was it Fernando Tatis Jr.?

Somebody the other day tagged up from second and scored some shit like that. Wheels, just wheels in baseball is kind of like a dying thing. So when you see someone, when Billy Hamilton was doing wacky shit for a little bit there, when you can affect the game, that's why I like the stealing first shit. I think that could get interesting this isn't a play but i like when there's a guy on third and they still shift so there's nobody here and the guy just like walks halfway down the line yeah yeah yeah and it's just like even if i step off like i don't know what would i just run at him yeah i would say as far as a general thing that happens uh in a

basketball game when when like when someone goes like Steph Curry and they're just like four or five trips down the court, three ball every time. Dude, there was... You can't stop them. It's like NBA Jam is real life now, you know? I think it was... Kawhi in the finals, like game five or whatever that was,

like shit like that where it's just like, this dude cannot be stopped. It was on Reddit the other day. It was kind of like, you know, we're not going to see him for a while, so here's, you know, a memory in honor of Clay

or whatever it was. And it was Clay's 37 point quarter. Yeah. I mean, that's disgusting. It was the full thing. It was an absolute joke. And he does it with like four dribbles

the whole time. He does that extra special. When Reggie Miller dropped 25 on the next of the quarter, you couldn't not be in awe of it. You were just like, everything he touches. And honestly, that's not that big of a deal anymore. 25?

Right, right, right. And that's what I'm saying. That was just like when I, that was basically like the last time I watched basketball. In that era, yeah, that was huge. But it was just like, I don't understand how he can't miss right now. Yeah.

Like he just, everything was going in. Hoops of fucking ocean. So look at that, Barstool Sports. Get at us, let us know what your favorite sports are all good things i'm sticking with mine well yeah the whole reason i mean that's the right answer that's why i'm trying to come up with other stuff you watch someone the penalty shot could be brought up to the um i don't think the penalty kick in soccer deserves it because i think a penalty save is a big deal penalty save it yes but i mean it's so often the hockey shootout unless you go go like TJ Oshie Olympics,

that became legendary, but otherwise it's pretty like, eh. But I'm thinking like a playoff or something like that. No, not the shootout, a penalty shot. Yeah, a penalty shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a penalty shot is up there. The crowd kind of is tense. And that's, I think the goalie wins most of that time.

I think like a good player is usually like 30, 40% of the time they'll score. So that's an exciting one. I think the walk-off home run too is always going to be the king for me. What's up on The Office? Hubs, this has been a thing

Hubs started and it's just been a thing on the internet. Hubs is a weasel. Where can you take your shoes off? Oh, because he said the movie theater, right?

He said the movie theater was his. He said he takes it off. First of all, not only is that disgusting for other people, it's gross for you. Like, the movie theater

is sticky, and there's food on the ground. Well, he's doing it at, like, probably some cum. The newer ones with carpeted legs up.

Still. He's not walking around. I remember back in the day when you went to a movie, and it was like You You could Potentially become

Like Pompeii there Your feet just get Stuck to the ground This is it for me I got six skittles Gluing me to the ground The movie theaters We used to go to

When we were kids We would either go to The Whitestone Cinema In Queens Or not Queens But like right by The Whitestone Bridge Or the Bay Plaza Multiplex It was the fucking hood man Like not only cinema in queens like we're not queens but like right by the waystone bridge uh or the bay plaza

multiplex it was the fucking hood man like not only would you maybe get shot there was like probably needles and drugs on the floor remember that there was a shooting at bay plaza we weren't allowed to go anymore because someone got shot there and then white stone like burned down or some shit or there was a shooting there as well but he like it was like oh which which movie theater can we go yeah we were excited when new rock opened we're like look there's it's like we're not gonna we have a movie theater again because the other movie theaters had been eliminated and those animals were probably running around barefoot the whole fucking time hubs you disgusting weasel it's but

here's your answer nowhere no that's the that is your fucking shoes on man the you cannot take your shoes off unless you're at home yes i don't i don't care how long a flight is i don't care how long uh you can do that i think you've said this you can do the heel out you can do heel out but you keep that keep that fucking because your toes the toes are where it gets weird and gross so keep your toes in the i don't like when you go to someone's house so this is special man's alcohol is a great bit about this like take your shoes off fuck you man yeah i don't care about your carpet i don't care you just got the floors clean we're adults i'm not going to sleep i'm not like i'm not japanese not japanese i'm gonna leave my

goddamn shoes on it's that if you if you if you are inviting someone to your house and you are a shoes off house that has to be pre-agreed yeah i put in the invitation i do not put don't not do not have me show up at your door and you say, can you take your shoes off? Yeah, when you see a row of them, it's like, am I supposed to put them in the cubby or something like that? I'm going to leave my fucking shoes on, and I'm going to put them on the fucking table. Yeah. Deal with it. If you don't want them on the table, have a higher table.

Make sure I lose blood flow to my legs and I don't have to put them on the floor. But if you got a low coffee table, my fucking feet and my shoes, which walked around New York City, are going on that fucking table. Yeah, somebody said that. When Dave got mad and our feet were up, like all the New York City grossness. I'm like, I don't know. We're not eating off the fucking radio table. Shut the fuck up. Where does Hub say you can put your feet up?

I mean, he just said shoes off at the movie theater. I expanded. Was there any? But I'm saying, what are some other, you know, plain movie theater? Where else are people taking their shoes off? That better be it. People, I mean,

Casey's walking around this goddamn office barefoot. Yeah, it was weird. Pete does it when it rains, he wears boots and then walks around barefoot the rest of the day.

That is crazy because guess what? I'm not walking around barefoot so I'm leaving wet marks all over the place. So Casey was high as shit. She was stoked. Oh, was she?

Yes, they were filming Pop Punk and they made her just like do a bunch of bong riffs. So she was really high. Pete, of all people, it. So she was really high. Pete, of all people, it's very funny to watch him. His his his jeans are like underneath his shoes.

You know, going around like a little kid. Well, I had boots on today. Oh, OK, Pete, Mr. Fucking like most judgmental. Like we're professional. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't do anything weird out of the ordinary.

Mr. Pete, you're going to walk around with your little tootsies out.'s it's crazy and people make the argument it's more comfortable it's more comfortable to be fucking naked but i'm in i'm in public i'm in society no kidding it's more comfortable yeah when i'm at home that's why you do when you're at home i sleep naked i don't sleep my shoes on i'll sleep my clothes on because it's the most comfortable for me in the comfort of your own home that's the phrase yeah that's when you get to be comfortable not out in civilization for the day it's more important to me to be looked at as a valuable member of society a normal person then this for me to be comfortable then let my dogs breathe that's that's what the most comfortable thing also not people around me not going what the fuck is wrong with this guy yeah like as comfortable as you are your feet are

externally internally you should be walking around going, oh my god, I can't believe everyone's probably fucking looking at me because I have my bare feet out there. Oh, what the fuck do you want? I'm on a tour and I wanted to see you here. Yeah, that's fine. What's up, man? How you doing? More important than

your feet being comfortable is your own fucking self-worth. I thought fucking Casey was barefoot. you doing more important than your feet being comfortable is your own fucking uh uh worth self-worth i thought fucking casey was barefoot nothing never mind uh next up next up let's see what we got here i'm gonna get i'm gonna make a dealer's choice on this one. Would you like beach activities or Rainforest Cafe? I gotta go Rainforest Cafe because I know this is coming from Tommy Smokes.

Yeah! What a shot! I saw his tweet and it said... Oh, fuck! She got me! Yeah, she did. Goddamn! As the door was closing, she just snuck a middle finger in. Tommy said he's never eating anywhere other than the Rainforest Cafe ever again. When did he go?

Is there one here? I don't know because I've never been. You've never been to a Rainforest Cafe? Is there a Rainforest Cafe? John, I had never heard of it until you like six months ago or whatever. First of all, you nailed that. It was six months ago. But where did he go to a Rainforest Cafe then?

Well, didn't you go recently? I went to one in Chicago when I was in New York. No, no, no. I mean, it's gotta be one in New York. No, it says there's one in Edison, New Jersey.

Where the fuck is that? Could be Jersey. Where were they? Rough and Rowdy. Was that recent? Was he down there? I don't think he was there. No, no.

I mean, to be honest, I think I would hate it. You'd hate it if you went for dinner. Yeah. But if you went for dinner. Yeah. But if you went for – It's in Niagara Falls. What?

It's in Niagara Falls, the one in New York, New York State. Oh. I was like, what do you mean? We're not doing that one. Yeah, you'd hate it if you went for dinner. But when I went, it was the four of us for like 11 a.m. Okay. And we went for drinks. Right. And when you're in there for drinks for like at like 11 a.m okay and we went for drinks right when you're in

there for drinks and you're like yo it's one of those things it's like doing anything that's a little bit weird but you just have to agree we're going for fun man you go for let's go let's have fun and what's the john taffer rule you go for like two thunder strikes two thunder strikes exactly i was just going at the time he blew his fucking mind which is great because i like things that have like a set time you know time. Tommy says he stays for three. Tommy, he's a social misfit. As we all know. Should we go get Tommy?

That story was so funny. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see if we can get him real quick. All right, so we'll have to find a... I'm going to have to pop my Rainforest Cafe cherry somehow, some way. Two Thunderstrikes and we're out. Well, it's in AC. Oh. So that's where he was.

He was in AC recently. Oh, right. Okay. That makes sense. He was in AC with the City Boys and the Caddy Girls. Yeah. Not getting laid. Okay.

Let's get into voice channels. We also have two interviews today. Three interviews. Three interviews. We got David Spade, who is an OG of Hollywood comedy and pussy, Cody Coe and Noel Miller, who are also right there with Logan Paul as one of the most dominant forces on YouTube today. So huge week for KC Radio in the YouTube realm.

So he and Noel do That's Cringe, and they make a whole bunch of videos. They did Answer the Internet and sat down for an interview with us. And we got a few quick minutes with Dana White, the most powerful commissioner in all of sports. The best commissioner in bunch of videos. They did answer the internet and sat down for an interview with us. And we got a few quick minutes with Dana White, the most powerful commissioner in all of sports. The best commissioner in all of sports. So let's get to voicemails first.

They are brought to you by Ollie. Your dog's health is as important as your health. I was going to say. My dog has been to the vet way more than I've been to the doctor. If something's wrong with you, if they were like, your back, right? If they were like, your back's hurt, you'd be like, I don't know. Rub some dirt on it than I've been to the doctor. If something's wrong with you, if they were like, you know, your back, right? If they were like, your back's hurt, you'd be like, oh, I don't know.

Rub some dirt on it and I'll just like go to work, right? If someone told you that like your dog had like a herniated disc and was suffering and in pain, you'd be like, here's $5,000. Let's get the surgery done, right? So your dog's health is just as important, if not more, than you and all the other humans in your life. So you got to make sure that their dog, that the dog food is up to par. Ollie puts dogs first. They have vet formulated recipes, fully transparent ingredients.

They make sure that you give your dog the healthiest food possible. They make fresh meals for dogs with real ingredients that even people can eat. So, uh, you know, maybe you can get a little snack yourself. Customized recipes, all natural, no preservatives. I'm sure Ollie's food is delicious. Not going to be the first time I've eaten dog food. I was going to say. If you haven't popped some kibble, nibbled on a bone.

I'll sit down with like, you ever get your dog like the sundaes, the kind that come in like hoodsy cups? Oh, I'll eat that, sure. Yeah, well, that sounds like it's ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's dog ice cream. It's ice cream.

Go to myollie.com. Answer a few questions about their dog. They know exactly what kind he is, how big he is, all that stuff. And they will make recipes designed for your dog personally. And they'll ship pre-portioned meals to you. So get the perfect portions with the perfect ingredients for your pup. Five million meals and counting. Shipping is free. And if your dog doesn't

like the meal, you've got a money-back guarantee. Go to myollie.com slash try slash KFC. Get 60% off your first box. 60% is a diesel discount, so you've got to deal with that wacky URL. That's the price you pay.

myollie.com slash try slash KFC. Get a free bag of treats and 60% off your dog's first meals. Sorry, real quick before we get into voicemails. I just want to address we were at a text conversation last night. You were addressing things. No, it's just so fucking – sometimes you just realize how weird this job is. And we were texting last night about the – someone tweeted us me showing you my pubes.

Holy shit. I forgot about that. It's such a weird job. I forgot to take my pants off and my coworker totally forgot about that. I mean, I can't believe it was so much worse than seeing your dick. If you just showed me your dick, I bet there's a dick.

You just showed me like your pubic area, you know, just like that whole, that whole pubic bone and your gandalf the gray pew you said it was red it was red it's not red it's brunette it's not brunette it's not brunette it was it was ginger and it was gross it was not ginger anyway that's how weird if you want to wed know what it's like at Barstool Sports, you just forget showing your pubes to coworkers. The fact that that was an afterthought.

It's not the highlight of your day. It's not even the low light. It's not a story of the day. It's something you completely forget until a stranger on the internet tells you. And the picture of it blurred out. Barstoolgold.com slash KFC. You don't want to necessarily see Fights' KFC. If you want to see, like, you don't want to necessarily see Fights' pubes, but you want to see

like our reaction and the way Fights was so, like, so proud of himself. He's like... We got a special appearance before we do voicemails. Tommy Smokes is going to come in the studio. Oh, he is? Okay. Tommy just texted me back. Come on in, Tommy boy.

Tommy. Your name came up because we were just discussing the Rainforest Cafe, which was that your first time? No. Because I've never been. I had been there when I was younger, I'm sure, but this is the first time I can consciously remember it. You went in AC? Is that where you went? Yeah. Okay.

I've never been. They sound. No place to eat breakfast on the Atlantic City boardwalk. Unbelievable. Walked like a mile and a half trying to find some eggs. Couldn't do it. So settled on the Rainforest Cafe. They also didn't have breakfast, but I was blown away with the atmosphere.

Food, painfully mediocre. That's what he said. He's like, you're not going to like the food, but you go for a few drinks. You hit a couple of thunder strikes. You're good to go. Yeah, I got three thunder strikes. It's every half hour. So I got there right before thunder strike.

Great timing. And then hit two more. It was unbelievable. I love rainforests in general. I find them fascinating. I love the sounds of the birds. Have you gone to them? No, but I think.

Is that a dream trip for you? Is that something you want to do? I feel like, don't you think Tommy would be terrible in a rainforest? I think he would be good. You always say these things about Survivor and now the rainforest. I think these are horrible settings for you. There's a, what's the place in the, Botanical Gardens. They have like a exhibit of like a rainforest.

And I went there as a field trip in like fourth grade. I was blown away. I love, I always love the stats about the rainforest. Like the rain doesn't actually touch the ground. You know what I mean? And there's like, there's like 50 billion unknown species that we haven't figured out yet.

You can make up that stats on the rainforest. I believe all of them. Yeah. The bugs and stuff. I wouldn't, I obviously wouldn't go. But if you could get me like a rainforest, like the, basically the rainforest i believe all of them yeah the bugs and stuff i wouldn't obviously want to go okay but if you could get me like a rainfall like basically the rainforest cafe a restaurant that replicates so your name popped up and then i remembered you telling this story

yesterday that was just it was it was shocking it was a staggering he told me in the bathroom because i we went to the bathroom and i i bought me a lot in the bathroom i don't know about you i mean tommy's in the bathroom every two seconds that's why i i didn't i i said tommy i think we're on the same cycle and he said no i'm on the same cycle as everyone yeah because i'm always people come to me and they're like oh man we're on the same cycle it's like no you're not special like everyone's on my cycle i thought we sit next to each other i thought maybe we synced up meals but the uh period John I mean Tommy I remember that recently it's not a big deal

to sit next to Tommy because he went to London and just wasn't even like hey I'm going to London this weekend we're not right next to each other there's there's two Rudy's in between

there's one person between us it's pretty close yeah I don't know wait what you're saying like you don't talk like he didn't tell you it was like hey you're heading to London

this weekend I love it I think that's the kind of desk mate you want yeah but was I just going to walk up in the middle of the day be like hey tap you and be like hey I'm going to London yeah it's rather narcissistic to I think that's the kind of desk mate you want. Yeah, but was I just going to walk up in the middle of the day and be like, hey, tap you and be like,

hey, I'm going to London. Yeah, it's rather narcissistic, to be honest. I'm interested in your life, Tommy. Really? Well, going forward, I'll know that.

I wasn't until I heard this story. Tommy, I mean, Tommy was assaulted. I don't think I was assaulted. Tommy was sexually assaulted. I don't think I was assaulted. So John was asking

me about my bladder and I said that, and I want to clarify, was assaulted. So John was asking me about my bladder. And I said that – and I want to clarify. Apparently there's a John Mulaney joke about how he went to get a Xanax prescription and he told people he had frequent urination and he ended up getting a prostate exam. I think he stole that experience from me or it just proves that what I'm saying is correct and that urologists do just give surprise prostate exams. So I was in, I was just about to go to college. So it's like August, 2014. I was peeing a lot, like 20 times a day. By the way, I thought this was like recent,

but so I'm a little bit happier that it was. No, I was 18. So it was like, I was going 15 to 20 times. Have you been tested for diabetes? Uh, no. 15 to 20? Just for a little footnote, my goalie in high school used to get off the ice

all the time during practice and go piss. And eventually our assistant coach was like, you got to stay on the ice, man, with practice. We have to have goalies shoot on. We can't just have one goalie. We need two goalies. And eventually one of the assistant coaches was like, go get tested for diabetes. That's the only reason you're pissing this much. Was he fat?

No, super skinny, crazy skinny. And it turns out he had diabetes. So maybe that's something to look into. I think I might have had that tested. You did. Okay. 20 times is crazy. Yeah.

It's still pretty up there. But so I was about to go to college. I was probably going to get this checked out. I went to a urologist. And he was like, all right. He made me like pee in a cup, shit like that. Then he was like touching my, you know, whatever. Like sort of normal stuff.

Like that place. Not like a dentist. He was like, you know, pull your pants down turn around in my head i was like that's that's odd yeah but he but so this is where i i can understand if you said it's a surprise prostate exam meaning i thought i was going to go and pee in a cup and at the end of the day they ended up putting a finger in my butt you were still surprised even at this point where they said, pull your pants down and turn around. Even then you didn't expect to finger up your ass.

Well, I mean, the thought popped into my head. That's happening. I don't know. I was 18 at the time, and I just always thought like prostate exams I'd heard about, like, oh, when you're 50, you go to the doctor. I thought it was like a colonoscopy where you schedule it ahead of time. Right, right. I didn't know if they could just bring that on you.

So, yeah, obviously my guard was up when my pants were down. Pants down, guards up. And then, yeah, he just put his finger when my pants were down. Pants down, guards up. And then, yeah, he just put his finger in my ass. I guess he was lubed up. I don't really remember. That's the other thing. I had a not-lubed finger in my ass, so I can't describe it. I feel like you would really know if it was not lubed up.

Yeah, so it was probably lubed up. I feel like it's almost borderline impossible. It's not impossible. It's not impossible, but, I mean, you know. And, yeah, he was in there, throwing it around. He was, like, trying to make small thoughts. I was like, oh, so what are you studying? Like, where are you going to school? And yeah, he was in there, throwing it around. He was trying to make small talk. I was like, oh, so what are you studying? Where are you going to school? And I remember just being speeped.

I couldn't talk. Now is not the time. Not now. We're not on an elevator. We're not making small talk with your finger in my ass. I actually don't think it's crazy to not be surprised. Because if I even pants down. Bro, if someone says pull your pants down and turn around,

something's going in your asshole at 18 i definitely didn't know like prostates affected uh well like urination like i believe there's no way what's in my ass affects how often i pee and so i'd be like all right he's probably gonna play with my nuts from behind or something like that i would pay extra again like tommy the thought would be in my mind. I'd be like, I don't know what's going to happen here. I'm pretty exposed at the moment. But he didn't say anything to you, right? He didn't say I'm giving you a prostate exam. That's why I definitely think you were assaulted because I think there's probably some sort of generic protocol where you say, like, now relax and I'm about to enter you or something like that.

A week from now, come back. We'll give you a prostate exam. You schedule it. i just didn't know it gets sprung on you like but even when they're about to spring it i thought that they should be saying something i'm about to enter you now yeah it's just a warning that's why you ask permission with women you're in the middle of being intimate with you ask permission of people you're already inside even like in the doctor like like uh if you go for a sonogram, the doctor's always like, it's going to be a little cold. They say something so you know it's coming,

and that's when you absolutely know it's coming. Poor little 18-year-old Tommy. You've got to let him know he's about to get finger-fucked in the butt. Yeah, no, I agree. It was not a pleasant experience, but then I ended up getting a pill, and I took it for a few years. It helped a little, and then I didn't feel like going back there. Now we're back on the 20 times a day?

I love that with Tommy where he's just like, yeah, I got bored. I didn't feel like going to CVS every month, so I stopped taking my medicine. That's basically how every medicine ends. I didn't feel like refilling it. I'm pretty lazy, and I know what you're talking about, but if the alternative is peeing 20 times a day, I like peeing. It's also like there was nothing wrong. He's like, you don't have anything really wrong with you.

You just pee a lot. What do you mean you don't like peeing? Peeing is fun, man. 20 times a day. I like peeing. It's also like there was nothing wrong. He's like, you don't have anything really wrong with you. Like you just pee a lot. So it's like, all right. It's not like. Peeing is fun, man. 20 times a day. I don't know. I've never peed 20 times a day. It's inconvenient.

I drink like 12 bottles of water a day. I pee pretty often. I don't pee 20 times a day, but I pee pretty often. I feel bad for you, man. It's not 20 now, but it's like planes are a bitch. Yeah. Like really just going places. What about when you are drinking?

Like everyone pees when they drink. It's worse. It must be like 50 times a night. Yeah. It's way worse. But if I don't break the seal for a little bit, I could be okay. And then there will be random times where it'll be like three hours and I haven't peed. And I'll

be really proud of myself. But yesterday was a really bad day. I don't know why. There's good days and bad days. There's good days and bad days. Well, good luck with that, Tommy. Yeah, thanks. Keep fingers out of your butt, man. I'm gonna go pee. Voicemails.

What do we got? What's up, guys? So one of my friends was telling this story. She just got back from Italy from visiting her family. So it's all second cousins. And she said she was hanging out with this one cousin the entire time. He's like three years younger than her.

They were just bringing together, snoking together, going to the beach all the time. Come on. And on the last night, they were sitting on the beach smoking and, like, having a conversation. And he leaned in and said, can I kiss you? So she obviously just immediately gets up and leaves and doesn't talk to him for the remaining, like, six hours that she's there. But this got us into a heated debate over what's worse your cousin asking to kiss you or your cousin just straight up kissing you oh asking for sure asking because that means that there's like some acknowledgement that there's something going on here straight up kissing maybe maybe he didn't know you're related.

Maybe you're shit-faced. Maybe you're confused. Asking is kind of like, hey, I know that we're cousins, but do you want to do this anyway? Asking's worse. Way worse. I mean, granted, if you ask a woman, they might disagree. Consent sucks! If you're going to fucking kiss me, just just do it i don't want you to ask

just stick your tongue down my fucking throat whether i resist or not um i i i i i i don't well i don't ask before kissing um you can't it's unless you do it like a like a joke like like if there's a reason like a cut a reason you can't be like formally asking right look I think every guy owes our entire game, love life, whatever to Hitch

90-10 is what you do you go 90 that's where the agreement comes from speaking it is odd but it gets a lot a lot more odd when you're related i was gonna say we're talking cousins second cousin that's close like my my second cousins are like my real cousins to me like they're i'm way closer i don't i don't have breakdowns i just have cousins so your your mom like your parents i mean so like technically i'm

sure your parents cousins kids what we're talking about i don't i don't even know if i know my parents cousins my family's not that close i have no idea who my parents cousins are i think it's one of those things like your second cousin could be like an estranged never see them or like i don't know we are like i'm much much closer with my second cousins that i have like random friends who are cousins you know what i mean like my dad's friends kids and stuff like that but like they're not really yeah i mean if they're you know when people cousin is a cousin to be fair if this is if this is little but cousin is a it's a real fluid it's like this shirt it's flowy right it's like if you're talking about fake cousins then did i hang out with you

before i was five you're my cousin that's a good that's a good have we ever been in the bathtub together naked then we're cousins but this is like they're probably distant because she's over in italy like she she doesn't live on the same continent i missed that part too they're european fucking normal you're european you're a fucking sicko weirdo uh and that's that's that's if i go hang out with my fucking irish cousins which don't exist, and they start kissing me, I'm like, yeah, I expected this. I signed up for this the moment my passport got stamped. The Irish are a weird bunch.

The true Irish. What you need, you need to be, being Irish, it's like you gotta like cut it. It's like cocaine. You gotta cut it. It's a cocaine. You gotta cut it a little bit. Pure Irish is bad news. You gotta have a little, like a little German, maybe even a little Italian.

You gotta cut it. Otherwise it's too strong. Otherwise it's too much. You get that pure, that pure white. It hits you too hard. Same thing with being fully Irish. You're,

you're, you're too, you're too drunk. You're too violent. You're probably ugly. You gotta too violent. You're probably ugly. You got to mix it in a little bit. That is perfect. Preferably cut it with some fucking Latin American.

You cut it with Scottish. It might as well be fentanyl. Cut Irish with some Cuban. That's the way I like to do it. Thanks, sir. Hey, what's up, KFC, 5CC, Colt, Nebraska. I don't know how many times, long time listener. But I recently started talking to this girl,

and I feel like I know 5's answer on this i want kfc's take on it um but i was talking to this girl and um come to find out she's a conspiracy theorist like she doesn't believe that 9-11 uh was actually like a. Like she believes it was bombs and like some wild other shit along those lines with like all sorts of conspiracy theories. And like, should I still talk to her? Or like, is she crazy or what? Like,

I don't know. Give me your thoughts. Viva. Nah, you can't do it. No, I mean, I mean,

I thought, you know, he was going to say like aliens or something like that, where it's like, that's not even a conspiracy, bro. You just have a brain. You're just thinking. And also, you're going to mean i mean i thought you know he was gonna say like aliens or something like that where it's like that's not even a conspiracy bro you just have a brain you're just thinking and also you're gonna run around being like you know conspiracy theories are are um they're dangerous they're nuclear because conspiracy theories if you can have sometimes literally if you can have fun with conspiracy theories that's one thing yeah where you're like

yeah we'll talk about a little joke we can. Basically, it's like any topic with life. Can we have fun with it? If it's something you genuinely believe, like you have a hard passion and can't discuss it, can't get made fun of for it, whatever. If you truly believe 9-11 didn't happen or 9-11 was an inside job or whatever it is, jet fuel can't melt steel beams, which is the stupidest thing in the history of the world. If you actually believe that stuff. Then you're an asshole. But there are some things. Not only an asshole, but you're too stupid to just be with. Yeah.

But I think some things are more valid. I'm trying to think of an example. But, like, I mean, I think the government does, like, shady shit. And there are some instances where I'd be like, yeah, something's going on there. Yeah. That's fine. The government does shady shit shady shit isn't a conspiracy theory that's also just like yeah that's how but but like if i were to if you were to give me like you know there's fun ones and then there's you know uh let's like you know oj's son actually committed

the murder that's a fun one right yeah but if you were to tell me that like uh you know i don't know the government like i don't believe in this one but it's like you know the government created aids or something like that like i think there probably are some circumstances where if i were to find one that i believed in i wouldn't become like a freak about it but i would be like no i actually believe that yeah and that's okay too but if you're a freak about it and like agree like like the government created crack that's also just true but the uh like i'm not gonna like fight you about it right you can have fun with it basically if you're annoying like yeah regan was a crack dealer that's funny by the way that that clip of him after he got shot you ever

see the clip where he's giving the speech and the balloon pops and he goes miss me yeah yeah so awesome i mean he doesn't miss a beat he doesn jump. He doesn't like you got to be so fucking cocky to not after having been shot to not jump and just have a joke on deck. Awesome. You know what? Conspiracy theory. That was planned. That just popped into my head because he was so calm with it. That's my conspiracy theory.

Yeah, I agree. If you are like yelling and protesting and you're ever out with a bullhorn and signs and shit like that you're an asshole if you believe any of the really wacky ones like the like that 9-11 wasn't real or like if you if i ever meet someone who's a sandy hook truther i'll legit fight you yo i will legit punch you i was driving home from uh i think i was driving home from a blackout tour and i was just driving through connecticut and i ended up driving through sandy Hook. It's so fucking eerie. Even just – like I just saw you welcome to Sandy – Welcome to Newtown. And it was like – even that was like, whoa, this is different. This is really, really creepy.

Alex Jones and those guys, anybody who like gives those parents a hard time, you're like just as bad as the fucking shooters to me. You are disgusting. So anybody who's like that, you're a bad person. Anybody who's just annoying about some of the more like wacky ones i definitely can't tolerate you as in a romantic sense you know so it's one of those things it's gone but i do appreciate a girl who might be like the mob killed jfk i think oh yeah because girls don't usually think like that because their theories are guy things you know girls are usually like they don't care or they're too dumb

for it if you're if i can okay if i can if i can banter with you about a little uh you know girls are usually like they don't care or they're too dumb for it if you're if i can okay if i can if i can banter with you about a little uh you know some aliens and some mob stuff i'd appreciate people that don't think that we went to the moon where they got a right on that smart those are smart people okay but i mean even that you want to have a discussion about how it's a little bit ridiculous to think that in 1969 we blasted off into space and shot apart a fucking lunar lander and locked up with it in orbit and then blasted to the moon and then landed i mean that's pretty hard to believe considering like i don't know we can't even get internet in this office just saying there's a discussion to be had next voicemail Hey, KFC Fight, Super Sensei VC. Super Sensei VC. Quick question.

So I'm 30 years old now, and I collect baseball cards. I love it. Oh, boy. And when I have a girl over, like, I keep my baseball cards, like, out and display some of the more expensive ones. More expensive. I don't know if I should hide that or if that's something I should just keep out there and be like, hey, that's my apartment and whatever. But, you know, as I'm getting older and starting to try to get into a relationship, is this something I should hide for like the first six months? Or what do you guys think about that?

I think judging by your face, what do you think? Don't worry about hiding your fucking car. I mean, well, no, no, no. Well, I think hide it your face, what do you think? Don't worry about hiding your fucking cards. Okay. I thought you were going to say the opposite. Well, I think hide them from your girlfriend. Don't hide them from – I don't give a fuck. I'm not going to steal your goddamn cards, man. Oh, no.

Wait. No, he's talking about the girls. But at first he was like, should I keep them in a safe place, I think. Did I mishear that? Oh. I think before the girls came in, it's like, should I even have these on display? But you would say hide them from the girl? I mean, not hide them.

I think just – I think it's weird to have them out. If you have a montage of them, or it's one single framed picture or whatever. What's weirder, to have a shrine? Let's say you have a wall of fame, like a case of radio here. Or on your coffee table, you just have on a stand, a Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card. I think that's weirder. I think it's a little bit corny to have like a man cave type of thing. But if you just have like some sports memorabilia,

and that's like this is my sports memorabilia, that's one thing. If you just have like baseball cards all over your apartment, I think that's weirder. I think that's weirder. I think it all depends on how you act with them. Yes, I agree. If you have like – like my dad has – my dad collects ticket stubs i get a great business idea about that um he collects his ticket stubs don't tell people that one no i'm not gonna tell them um and uh

he like kind of you know he has he has like basically like like if the there's a lot of them now because it's if you know a championship happens he has all of them all the games he went through that year in a frame and then like a picture probably at the after party or something. That's so gay. And so he has like a bunch of stuff like that. And he's just like, yeah, that's cool. If you're like, don't touch that, don't touch that, don't touch that. Yeah.

If you're a 40 year old virgin, then you're a weirdo. It's kind of like that. We were just saying with the conspiracy theories. How serious do you take it? I think. I mean, I have, I have, I have, you know, my sneakers. Oh, write that one down. That one's free. free i have my sneakers i don't like put them i'm not one of these people who have like the drop boxes and shit where they were like on display but like if you go in my bedroom there's

a big fucking shelf with a ton of sneakers i i'm sure there are people they're probably similar i'm sure people think that collecting uh baseball cards and having a lot of sneakers are like for children so i could see a girl being like i don't like that but also i'm not gonna like go through the trouble of hiding them yeah i guess so just play it cool like yeah play just be normal about it have like cards yeah i think you want to touch it you want to play with it i don't play with it you want to look at it that's fine i'm not gonna fucking throw a knife at you i'm not gonna have a indiana jones booby trap set up don't touch it don around you. Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

Don't touch it. If you are allowed to touch it or look at it, then fucking hide it or put it away. Don't have it on display if people are allowed to touch it. I'll say this.

I actually think it would go a longer way if you were just confident about it. This guy is clearly nervous about his collection. If you brought a girl back to your apartment and there was a bunch

of fucking cards, again, within reason, don't be a weirdo like a four-year-old virgin, but if she was like, what's this? if you were just if you brought a girl back to your apartment and there's a bunch of fucking cards again within reason don't be a weirdo like a four-year-old virgin but if she was like what's this and you were just like i collect baseball cards i've had him since i was a little kid and it's like something i still do it keep it moving and it's just like that's something that i do and that's something that i like and i i'm not even gonna act like it's weird i think girls that will be more attractive than if you're like that's never mind don't worry about that yeah it's it's it's uh confidence if you're like that's never mind don't worry about yeah it's it's it's uh confidence if you're just like yeah because then it can become something very

interesting she learns a lot about you you talk about your childhood where your game of cards it can be a very good jumping off point if you're like i find baseball cards really cool it's not especially like it's not a fucking no it's a scarlet letter right yeah it's a fucking baseball card hide your flashlight hide your rubber pussy i hit mine on myself i can't find next episode how do you introduce your rubber pussy to your girlfriend's relationship how how would you do that how i mean would you just be like if you have a vibrator you don't need it if you get a real one there like a vibrator can add something to the game what am i gonna fucking go in one with her one with the floor no but what if you know you don't live together it's like long distance or something that i'm just like yeah

or what if what if you're single you have one and then you meet a girl and it's just like do you would you just throw it out or would you be like i got a rubber pussy at home um i i wouldn't address it until it was found that day yeah yeah it's next to my baseball cards uh last voicemail and then we'll get into david spate last voicemail of the then we'll get into David Spate. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter is the best way to find premium candidates, quality candidates to fill all your job needs. ZipRecruiter has changed the game because in the past, you used to go to other websites,

and you would have to seek out the people and find the right matches and match up the job description with their resume and all that. ZipRecruiter does all that for you. It scans all the resumes, finds all the candidates. It matches to your job description and your job need and automatically provides the best possible candidates for you in just 24 hours. Actually, as a matter of fact, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter find a quality candidate within the first day. So if you're starting a blog,

you're starting a store, you have some sort of new idea, and you need to fill any sort of openings, ZipRecruiter is the easiest way to do it. It's smart, fast, and simple. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash KFC. They always say to meRecruiter.com slash KFC.

They always say to me, make sure you spell out KFC. And there's literally only one way to say KFC. Imagine if I was like ZipRecruiter.com slash KFC. It's K-A-Y. E-F-F-C-E-E. Now do it right again. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash KFC and start trying out ZipRecruiter for free right now. It's the smartest way to hire.

KFC, Flights, BC. I was just talking to someone about how god-awful it is to try and ask a girl out or just get their number or whatever at the gym. Because I hate talking to people at the gym i just you know kind of go in do your workout and leave the there's really no way to not awkwardly approach someone at the gym and ask them out but i was wondering what is the worst social situation or just like environment to ask someone out or ask them pretty much anything other than the gym because i really can't think of anything else. Jim's pretty tough.

Jim's impossible. Jim, you can't ask someone out of the gym. You have to follow them home. I actually think the gym is either impossible or it's like a layup, but it's like 99 to 1 because I think if it's like, I mean, I don't know. I'm not a gym person, but I could see a scenario where it actually plays that you're both like the gym people.

Let's say you're on the same schedule and you see the person like every fucking time. Eventually, that's actually going to be the easy way for you to go. Like I'll see you at the gym. If you see someone that often, you can be like, look, I see you all the time. I did it with Gio downstairs where I said, look, Gio, I'm in here all the time. Let's just get this out of the way. I said, hey, man, I'm in here all the time. By the way, I'm John.

Yeah. And he said, what's up? Let's get over the awkward. Let's just get this out of the way. I said, hey, man, I'm in here all the time. By the way, I'm John. Yeah. And he said, what's up? Let's get over the awkwardness. Did not give you my salad for free. A little disappointing. But – Who is this? Gio downstairs at Pop Ellie's.

Pop Ellie's. Got it. Yeah, like, I mean, the thing about the gym is I think people are always – you assume it's like that they're in the middle of a set or something like that. Like, don't go up to a girl when she's running on the treadmill. But if you're, like, leaving the gym at the same time like fuck yeah yeah well that's where i would just follow home and you get the chloroform out and you follow home wait outside see if they go to a bar after go to that bar uh throw rocks at their window uh i think the worst other than the gym i think uh

is work no they were so many pitfalls i think i think it works easy to No, I think work's easy. There's so many pitfalls. I think work's easy to be like, what a day, you want to grab a drink? Bam. Well, that's different than getting their number. You know what I mean? You do it enough. Eventually you become friends.

What's your number? Fine. I think work's the only place I've ever met people, really. Yeah, but I think that when you are officially saying, give me your number or let's do something that is breaking the work wall that can be awkward and dangerous and probably something you shouldn't do yeah unless it's right i guess it's more the work thing the work thing is more the big picture the gym thing is like literally what do i say when do i go up to him how do i do it and work you'll have a lot of opportunities too but the awkwardness of being

like you're basically like read between the lines i'm saying that we're co-workers but i kind of want to fuck you like that could be awkward uh uh public transportation is you know everyone has a train girl and it's like it's cripplingly scary to uh go up to them because everyone's you know in italy are tough family um i think it's like any place outside of a bar. Not in a bar and drunk. Any place, really. Period. In a bar.

I actually think in a bar has now become the most awkward because everybody is already there to meet up with a Tinder date. It's like they're by themselves, but trust me, they're not. They're on the phone with their date they're about to meet. Bars are now like the last stop. Bars are hard because you are now competing with the most entertaining thing in the world it's not it's not you verse fucking nothing it's not you versus the goddamn newspaper that well that's why the bar used to work every single one of the bar used to work because everybody goes to the bar to get laid so it's just like hey if you walk through the door you're at least acknowledging that you're here well you

might be there to be with friends but you're here to either meet someone and like hook up or you know fall in love whatever you're there to drink you're there to have fun you're there to socialize right and and then it was like okay now that you're in here what the game's on the tv maybe but other than that there's like nothing to do so you might as well talk to this guy now the bar is just the agreed upon place to meet your online date and if it's not that you're just on your phone the whole time yeah it's like go away from me i'm on my i'm on instagram you know it used to be like all right i'll just i mean it's been a long time since i was in the bar like in a social setting trying to meet people but isn't it still when you go there if you were to walk up to someone and say hey what's up that would be more acceptable than almost any other place yeah like if you were just

like in a park and you just walked up to someone and was like, hey, how are you doing? Oh, my God. What? If you walk up to a girl in the park, especially if the sun's going down, you're a rapist. They will run in fear. I know how it works. Literally, if it's dark out in your park, you're getting raped. You will be murdered.

That's what I learned from NBC. What happens in the park at night? I wasn't suggesting in the dark. But any other place, I mean, I'm not saying you would. But at home run, you did it in a bar. It has gotten more awkward. Like the bar used to be the dark. But at any other place, I mean, I'm not saying you did a home run and did it in a bar. It has gotten more awkward. Like, the bar used to be the spot. Now it's a little bit harder. But also, what do you need to ask

people out when there's Tinder? Just go online, man. Just go on the internet. Get laid on the internet like the rest of the world now. I've always turned it down now, or not used it now out of fear

for someone seeing my game or something like that. But even before Barstool was a thing where it was like, ooh, maybe someone would tweet this or whatever.

I still refrain from it just because the stigma attached to it. And, you know, we got to get the mental health stigma out of the way first. But then once we conquer that one,

we got to get the meeting people online out of the way. I think it's probably pretty much gone you're the only one left is it just me i mean i'm still very much alive with i uh i uh somebody told me to join raya the one for like famous people whatever and i was like i don't really want to do that it's kind of douchey but like she made me sign up and now they won't like accept me and now i'm like now i'm taking it personal wait you i'm you think it accepted well it takes a while like the whole thing is they have to like review you to make sure you're like

qualified i don't know whatever but i'm like how long does it take you might qualify to be famous check the daily mail check the london newspapers motherfucker i actually really like that the london newspapers that maybe is why i'm not getting them. Maybe that's what they're finding. Maybe they did Google me. Check the London newspapers, motherfucker. I like that. See what they're saying across the pond. Let's go talk to David Spade.

How about that? David Spade, you Google him. He's in the London newspapers. So am I. Me and David Spade are on the same fucking level. This interview with David Spade is brought to you by the Barstool Sports Store. It's Christmas in July. We have a 50% off sale, half off all the Viva items. Do me a favor.

Go buy the Sherpa hoodie. Not only is it warm, not only is it fire, not only is it perfect for those nights where you're coming off the beach and the sun's going down or there's a storm rolling in and it gets a little bit chilly, a little bit cozy, or you're riding on the boat and it's windy, you need a hoodie. It's also perfect for the fall once the weather turns, and I'm also close to the bonus, so please go ahead.

And if you are interested in a hoodie, buy the Black Sherpa hoodie. All other Viva products... Well, the Black Sherpa has one. In fact, I have to buy one, I think. I think I lost mine. There you go. I got stolen by a goddamn girl. Girls, buy your own hoodie. Don't steal it from the guy you're fucking because it's 2008 19 and you are now a fucking independent woman you could buy your own hoodies without stealing the fact that ladies still do this i'm gonna start stealing your shit how about that the

problem is it doesn't you know we can't benefit like they can wear our underpants i was gonna say john's gonna steal your favorite thong i I'll steal my hoodie. I'm going to wear that thong. So go to the Barstool Sports store. All of John's stuff, everything is all 50% off. Go get that Trinidad and Tobago tie-dye shirt that everybody loves so much. What do you want? What are you pushing? You good?

He's like, I already hit all the bonus on all my shit. Get your stuff. I haven't hit one. I'm in a drought. I need my bonus. So Viva, go to the store.barstoolesports.com Everything 50% off. David Spade, let's talk to him. KFC

Radio featuring a Hollywood and comedy OG. Veteran of the game. Unfortunately OG. Is it OG? I was actually surprised how young you are. You've been in this forever. I would have guessed, you look young as hell,

but I meant just like how long I've known the name David Spade. I was, what, 51? How many? 51? 55. 55. Okay, still. Yesterday. I would have guessed like the 60s. Was yesterday your birthday? Yeah. No, was it? Yeah, it was. And I did like 90 press things.

And I forgot to get you like a present or something? Yeah, man. God. We do a whole fucking game usually. Look up birthdays real quick. Charge it. When I walk in, I'm taken care of. What are these Darth Vader things?

Oh, are those your cameras? Yeah. Why am I seeing all these cameras I've never seen in my life? Well, because we're a bigger operation than you. Yeah, you're only at Comedy Central. Step it up, dude. Come on. This place is crappin' in.

You got the new show, Lights Out. You don't have cool cameras, apparently, though. Yeah, what is this show about? Anything and everything and nothing all at the same time. We just talk about whatever. We're the first podcast here. What do you want to talk about? Yeah, literally, what do you want?

You got something? I don't care. What do you got? Don't shovel it on me. It's hard. I always think when I do a podcast, I go, what the, what would I talk about?

Oh, are you kidding me, man? I mean, half of this shit is storytelling. I feel like you've got stories.

I do tell stories. Fuck, Stern, you say, went on and on. I couldn't shut up. Are you like that? Like,

you get yourself in trouble? Well, Stern is fun because, you know, you, you can say whatever you want. It's one of those,

this one's probably the same way. Yeah, we try to replicate that. You run around, you do like, yeah, Kiss FM. You used to do radio for movies and for your stand-up. And then, no, you could never swear. That's why my act is clean, honestly. Really? Because I could never swear, so why bother?

Because I go on Letterman, I go, do that bit. Interesting. Can't do it, can't do it. Do this, and you go, fuck. So now it's easier because it's more Do this, and you go, fuck. So now, it's easier, because it's more realistic to talk like people talk.

Yeah. And you've got, your crowd is like, what, eight to nine-year-old dudes banging their head against the wall with aluminum bats.

Yeah, too far. Fine. Yeah, too far. Little leaguers. And your point. Benchwarmers.

They're emotionally in on it. When I comment on bars too often. Yeah, I was going to say, you're above it because you've been more active on Instagram than anybody. I jump in there. I feel like you would get yourself in trouble telling stories just because of, you know, I feel like you know where the bodies are buried. You got a troubleshoot and you go, I started one in there. I go, what am I doing? But you can't think.

Forget it. Then it's that and then it's the new world of comedy where you have to say the right things and everyone has to pull from the same eight jokes or you're going to get your career stopped. Did you see Seinfeld with Eddie Murphy the other day on Communities of Course? No, I wasn't. Seinfeld had a conversation where he was just saying, guys like us, meaning him and Eddie, we find the humor in absolutely everything,

and you have to understand that it might be offensive to you, but our brains are just programmed to find the funny, no matter how dark or how tragic it is. But I think you're right. That doesn't fly anymore. It might be the case for you and other comedians, but it just... You used to have to just be as rough and edgy as you can to do jokes no one's doing.

So if you hear someone did something about some horrible situation that happened to this, you don't have to laugh, but you go, all right, at least he's trying something. Or if you could find something funny in that, or you're just taking a subject no one's talked about, but it's too dirty or it's too offensive in some way, I'm all for that.

But if you're not allowed to do that, then comedy dies off. It's too hard. You don't want to see the same joke. Watch sitcoms. Everyone's so PC that they can only pull from the same sort of similar jokes that it's funny because you can

make fun of skinny people. You can't make fun of fat people. Like, they have these decisions along the way. Yeah. You can totally make fun of white guys, you can't make fun of black guys.

Right, right. I mean, everything about Chad and Brett, you never have like a daequan, like, here's what the daequans are doing at the pool,

you know, and everyone will be like, what career will be over? just because, like, even on Instagram, Becky, it's all white,

I mean, that's the funniest part. Are we the last ones that can't fight back? We've got it going on, I feel like even on Instagram, Becky, it's all white. I mean, that's the funniest part. Are we the last ones that can't fight back? We've got it going on. I feel like white people had a pretty good run. I would vote for everybody or nobody. Yeah, that's where I'm at. I mean, we grew up, you could say anything and make fun of everybody

without it being that the under thing is that you hate everybody. That's not really what it was. It was just funny to make fun of everybody. The intent. So if I did a joke on, you know, old Hollywood Minute about, you know, Sarah Palin or something, they might say, oh, you're a woman hater.

Like, it's not just, is the joke funny or not. Now you have two levels. Now you're like, oh, I shouldn't do this because of that. Oh, they might think, I mean, eh. And then even on my own show, we have a great joke and I go, wait a second.

Fuck, sorry. He is at work. This doesn't seem like work. This sort of counts as work. So you know what I'm saying is that it's just, it's getting harder out there. And the time to start a show

is I'm like, what am I doing? Do you feel fortunate for having come up when you did? Cause you can say whatever you want or do you kind of resent, not resent, but like, do you wish you, the,

the access is much easier now. It's so much easier to get big because of it. Well, everyone can have an opinion, but that also, I mean, I do fricking Instagram stories just because in between a movie or a show, and your mind's working, it's an extra way to go,

oh, I can just, if I think of something, I can just do it right now. Now, if anyone gives a shit, it doesn't matter. I'd throw it out there, and then people either watch or they don't. But at least I get to kill that in the day where I used to want to go, oh, when am I going on The Ladder Man next? Oh, this will be too old. You've got to wait. But now it's just this. Now the downside is there used to be, you know,

30 critics in the country. So if you had a movie come out, you'd get shit on once, one day, and that was it. Now it's a constant stream of never-ending millions of people that just sit back at home and go, they watch a movie. I don't know if Spade is in this.

Fuck that guy. Where's my phone? Hey, Spade, aren't you a piece of shit? Do you get a lot of hate? I feel like you're more loved than hated. If you had to pick. I would say that, yeah. Not much to hate about you.

Yeah, there's not much other than, I think the bigger you get, the quicker you get they jump on or off. Do you think you get grandfathered in? If you were around and big and popular before social media, do you think it's – I think the time to shit on me was past. Yeah, like SNL would have been a great time. SNL is a hard time to shit on. But back then they were.

But now it's looked back upon, I think, in a nice way, which is great. been a great time i said that was a hard time to shit on somebody but back then they were but you know now it's looked back upon i think in a nice way which is great i love being a part of that era i love being a part of that cast where people could say that was a good time and and i'm in the mix with all those great guys that that's the funnest thing i mean to have things in your career even people saying bye-bye back then you go people go you get sick of that i go well i mean the whole idea of getting an snl when you're a kid is like get one of those things that people do on snl like they say a lot or whatever and to get stumble into one and then you go fuck i got i'm in one this is like all of snl coming true you mentioned all those guys who's the most talented

if you had to put a gun to your head right now, who's the most talented one? Shit. I mean, they're all so good in different ways. Oh, come on, Spade. Gun to your head. I'm going to kill you, Spade.

I think I need the actual gun to my head to really give the answer. Honestly, in this office, we could probably produce one. We would say,

I think we'd probably say Farley. We would all agree. Just because so much potential to keep going and doing that. So many times he could have fallen down. I wish he was here because we would just bust his balls. Because that was the funnest part.

He would love it. Always wanted us to make fun of him. Always wanted us to shit on him. Thought it was so hilarious. But everybody, I mean, but look how successful Adam is. All the stuff you don't see. You wouldn't know if you found it on the street.

He's got to put a movie together. He's got to put a cast together that makes sense. You never think about it, but you just go, oh, that movie works. But all the ways you can do it wrong,

the music, the editing, the this, it's just, there's so many ways. I've done movies that start off good, get worse as you go.

You're like, what's happening? Oh, this is the cast. Oh, and then they edited it weird you just start good and you can go bad easily if everyone doesn't do their job along the way and there's some people that are great at that some people that are great off of snl did tv shows rock one time was after all this shook out did we ever know I'd be the stand-up guy, you're the TV guy,

Adam's the movie guy? I go, never. No one had any idea of any of it, you know? You didn't have any, so if you had to guess,

you wouldn't have. Rock was just saying like, all these years later, that's kind of how it shook out. I mean, it's quite the squad though. You're on TV a lot. Adam does movies.

Rock's known for stand-up. You got it all covered, really. That's great. I'm lucky I could do that. Hollywood, comedy, covered, really. That's great. I mean, I'm lucky I can... Hollywood, comedy, all that shit. Oh, yeah, that's nice. I would love to...

You know, I love still doing stand-up. And mostly because it's hard. You know, it's hard to get out there. Same thing, doing it with guys that are... You see new guys at the store, and I'm like, oh, fuck, this guy's good. I mean, it's unreal.

They're new, they're hungry, they're... And you just see what they're doing, you go, oh. It's like, you know, like a football player. Like, we can watch it differently. I mean, it's unreal. They're hungry. And you just see what they're doing. You go, oh. It's like a football player. We can watch it differently. I can see two jokes and go, okay, he's good. One joke could be a fluke.

Nope, that's the second one. Good. Jealous steam that's coming out of you. But it does make you, you can watch one come and go home right differently because you're like, the stuff I was thinking, it's too weird. And you go, no, go do it. Because that's what they want. You can't do it, be more surprising, be more unpredictable, be more whatever.

And then it helps you get good. I feel like you've adapted well. Like even just seeing how active you are on instagram and oh yeah keeping up with the because i know for myself especially with the crew you run with and like you know i'm sure you guys get together and you do grown-ups and it's like all you guys are on set you've all killed it you've all successful you have a good time and you it probably is easy to kind of rest on your laurels and not like stay hungry and adapt but i feel like you have evolved yeah i try i mean that that instagram was sort of a fun accident that i jumped i didn't jump on facebook

and then twitter i go uh okay i don't know and then instagram i go fuck i gotta get on one of these because they weren't going away yeah we're the only idiots in the world i'll send some tweets right now oh you'll send some tweets for me yeah he'll do it as spade. No, I do Twitter, but it's hard because I think girls, this will sound anti-women, but I think girls were like, Twitter wasn't that fun. Twitter isn't. What's Instagram? You take pictures of yourself all day.

Done. Oh, wait, what's that one? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Guess what? I like that one. You can picture your butt and get a million followers? Sounds easy.

Good God. It sounds good to me. Do you think if you had- You know what's funny is if you see a girl walking down the street and then she's, you know, and guys are like, hey, you're hot. And she's like, ugh. And then you're like, hey, nice butt. Sexy.

And they're like, this is so horrifying. They get them, post a picture of themselves in every comment. It's like, you're so fucking hot. They're like, thank you. Like, yes, queen. That's so cool. Have you, are you a DM? Love you. Do you get down cool Are you a DM? Love you

Do you get down On the Instagram DMs? I have yeah I feel like it's It's equivalent To dating someone in a bar We're just walking up To a stranger

We're all strangers People go You think you do that in a bar? I go It's worse in a bar You get shit on In person Right to your face

They shut you down It is arguably It's better for both parties It's easier for me to handle the rejection. You feel safer. Let's meet at the DM. Yeah, because if you see a girl in a bar, it's weirder. Tap, tap, tap.

When was the last time I went over and bought a table of girls a drink? When does that happen in 20 years? I don't do that. Mostly monetarily. Your love life was pretty well publicized. Do you think if you were doing it in like the social media era in the DM era in the TMZ era

it would have been better worse harder it's definitely it would have been probably easier because it's easier for people now

to if I don't run into someone nothing happens I have to see them somewhere and that's the way it used to be so if you see someone

like these girls all my pervert friends because you know my feed in that like page with the magnifying glass, like the search page. All these,

I mean it's dogs and sports and all the dumb stuff, skateboarding, but then there's all these babes come up because I've got these creep friends that are like,

they're like, like carpet bombing these, every model in the world. Carpet bombing. So then you look at it and you see one, and if you're drunk, one, and a lot. One time I actually said, are you up?

What am I fucking talking about? I don't even know who they are, where they're. She's like, yeah, I'm in Yugoslavia. It's noon. Why, you want to go kite sailing? I'm like, oh, wait, where are you? Is that in the valley? So I didn't know what was going on and and but it's a baltic sea

it is tempting because you see it right there and it's literally like you could just go say hi but i love the idea you you drop in a couple you up drums yeah yeah i do the times man he knows what he's doing the worst is when you like it growing you're putting a like you're dating her and you're texting her a paragraph. She's so bored. All you need to be as a rapper is go, yo, yo, yo. And they're like,

right over the house. He gave me three yo's and I feel like there's something there. It's always less is more. Be disinterested. Don't care. I'm telling you what, that could be a TV show premise right there.

You drunk going through your DMs. Just let me just film you. But I get them. I'm not good what, that could be a TV show premise right there. You drunk going through your DMs. Just let me just film you responding to these chicks. But I get them. I'm not good at answering them. You are good at this game. Well, because I don't put – You are good with the females, David Sparks, to be honest. If I've ever DMed in the past, it's to – I say a joke.

I don't ever go, give me that puss. You know what I mean? There's guys – because girls will immediately show their friend. Doing it wrong. Screenshot it. that puss. You know what I mean? There's guys, because girls will immediately show their friend, screenshot it, and they say, can you, well,

this guy, they've told me guys that are famous that have done it, and I go, oh boy, and what they've said, I go, if you're just jokey,

we all get what's going on. You're tapping them on the shoulder, and if they, if they're not into it, they're not into it. So, but I don't,

and you don't get mad, you don't take it further. So, but I don't, and you don't get mad, you don't take it further. It's all fun and games because you don't want, everything I've ever done in this world, you picture a screenshot. Right,

exactly. Before you send it, think about it. I've never done like the, the Tinder stuff or anything like that because of the same reason. I'm like,

I'm like, I know my game is, is not good. It's bad. My chubby friend, that's not why I thought. What the fuck was that?. It's bad. My chubby friend. That's not why I thought. What the fuck was that? I mean, I have a chubby friend.

Are you kidding me? That came out wrong. You just sewer bombed my friend. No, I didn't. I didn't mean it except I was looking right at you and pointed at you and said, never mind. My fat fucking friend. No, I have a friend that's fat.

And some people like him, too. That didn't need to be said. Oh, I think I reworded it wrong again. It keeps coming out. Let me put it back in the thing and spit it out again. No, he was actually overweight. You're fine. But he was never getting any action.

And then he goes, you know what Tinder is? And I go, and he told me, and I go, I can't do that. And he goes, you should, because I wasn't seeing anyone

for like a long time. Then he goes, I fucking popped three girls into shorts this week. I'm like, what? He was nailing right and left. I go,

why? He goes, you just say like, come over or whatever. I go, good, what is this thing? Okay. I want to be an angel investor in that billion-dollar company.

And then it took girls about six years, and then they finally go, tender's just for hookups. And I was like, no shit. That was day one. They finally put all the pieces together. I wind up having sex with these guys. So I never had that. So it was always more hype with me.

But it did here and there, but it wasn't like... I think my buddy probably does way better. Guys, we kind of need to wrap it up. The new show is July 29th. Is that why he came in? No, I don't know why he came in. That was annoying. Why does he he came in? No, I don't know why he came in. That was annoying. Why does he have a key?

Lights Out. Lights Out is Monday's Calm Central after the Daily Show. Now, I was actually doing a lot of Comedy Central watching this weekend. What's the show about? I thought you knew. No, because the commercials are just you in the desert. I know. We'll put new ones on this week.

They should show clips because we did some test shows with people. It's basically a panel show. So let's say I do a monologue. Then I come out with three. It's always comedians or funny people. I think Kaylee's on that first week or Isla Fisher. But it's always like funny people, like comedians. And then we just take subjects, shit on them, make fun of them.

Cool. Not political, really. Just more like Hollywood, maybe some sports. Don't want to step on your game but uh you know whatever just funny sports that are relatable because it's not just like only do you know what i mean you gotta do the most easiest kind if there's a sports story you have to spoon feed it but we can still shit on that so just shitting on things with funny people just that and then i'll maybe shitting on things with david space i'll give review like i just did a review of Godzilla on my Instagram or Game of Thrones. I started watching Game of Thrones three shows before the end.

Oh, my God. So then I give a full review of I think it's good or not. And I'm like, obviously I know nothing. And I'm just like, who's this guy? It makes no sense. And so I act like it's a movie or something. But I'll just try to do stuff that's kind of unique to me or my point of view, my sense of humor. That's the whole show.

It's not going to be that much different than other shows, but you either have to think, I'm funny or not. And then I'll have these guys trying to be funny. Just good time killer. Check it out. Well, hopefully they'll be funny. Yeah, yeah. They're usually pretty good. We have a lot of good comics from the store coming.

Guys you would know. They just come on, do jokes. We make fun of it and make fun of each other. Easy peasy, man. it's not rocket science uh monday july 29th on comedy central lights out with david spade thanks a lot man appreciate it guys it's good to finally be at the old bar making fun of me but all right i mean that that david spade is uh i was i was gassed up to talk to him he's like he's an important guy to me yeah because like he he is just i liked it very much we actually talked about that beforehand everyone's office really i have no will towards david spade whatsoever yeah uh i i guess i don't know enough about or i didn't know enough well

but just the mere fact of to me when you look at someone who was always surrounded by farley sandler i was talking to my dad about that last night there's a reason why he just says rock yeah crazy to be like yeah so rock at one point he like threw me for a loop and i was thinking like was it the rock and he's also like he'd be cool enough that he would be hanging out with dwayne johnson but he just actually meant rock chris uh like he he's either there's only there's there's only a few reasons why you could be down with the crews like that right one is like you're just as talented as they are so he's in on that two like you're the fun party guy they always want to have around awesome three like he he's the guy who's bringing the chicks to the party yeah also awesome like the every every reason why you would be hanging out

with the legends of comedy makes you a legend in your own right so and he's been doing it he's 55 now he's been you know 30 whatever year career so i i was uh and i mean he came in here like uh just very cali you wouldn't guess he's from michigan yeah rvca long sleeve yeah it's like that's the long hair well at some point when you're you know 30 years in you become cali he was just like yeah whatever dickheads whatever you fucking barstool douchebags there's some people who do that it's annoying there's some people do that i'm like yeah that's right uh all right cody co noel miller these guys now i we i i argued till i was blue in the face about logan paul but i understand that the way he does things and

some of the attitude and whatever he brings can rub people the wrong way gives the youtube what's up youtube that uh stigma cody co and noel miller are like the polar opposite yeah i called the anti-youtube the anti-youtube youtubers uh they just happen to be on youtube they happen to fucking dominate it but uh they're a little bit older the as you'll hear in the interview they had regular jobs so they're coming from a much more regular lifestyle and uh cool ass dudes yeah very well as a stand-up comedian cody's just the youtube guy and they were uh he's just a youtube millionaire just what just so uh give him a listen give him a shot because these guys are interesting dudes what uh oh you went sultry with it yo yo what's cracking it's your boy shade four five yeah five fingers to death let's go i said i socked my mama in the face

coming in hot cody co noel miller youtube sensations turned podcast powerhouse now you're on are you now you're live on stage. Yeah, we're doing it. Let's go. Are you going to mess with my hair? No, I'm just wondering. You can take them off. You don't want to mess with the hair. No, you don't need to.

You don't need to. You're all good. I'm going to let the frosted tips shine right now. I like it. I like the look, man. How we doing, boys? Good. How you doing?

We're doing all right. You going to knock over several more bottles of water? I'm a fucking mess, man. It's early. I'm a mess. I'm a mess. It's 10 a.m. East Coast time, but you're on West Coast time, so it's even fucking worse. Yeah.

I like how we've reached a stage of our career where it's like, or any career, really, but it's like 10 a.m. This is late. Yeah. That's a good sign, I feel like. 10 a.m. It's 10 a.m. You're on West Coast time.

It's even worse than the middle of the morning. I'm getting introduced to your whole world. Okay. And in a weird way, it's kind of similar to what we do in a sense. It's like you find weird shit on the internet and you comment on it. I actually, since following you guys, it's more stressful. You guys tell me things that I hate that I didn't even know existed. It's been so much energy being mad about like these catholic

girls yeah that's god fucking damn it that's that's really our goal man is to we don't want to make people laugh we want to stress people out yeah it's very stressful yeah it's like oh i'm not even cool enough to know who to hate anymore now i know now i know no but i mean we you know you're just doing it in youtube form but uh i've seen a lot of the same like videos that you guys have looked at and we will just write about it or you guys obviously do it on YouTube. So really, it's just about finding all the fucked up stuff on the internet. Are you drinking, by the way? That looks like you're doing whiskey out of a fucking cup there.

I wish. I wish. It's just cold brew. He's getting started very early. It's like a whole plastic cup of Hennessy. I saw someone post something on their Instagram story. It was like, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. And I was like, that's a great phrase.

It's a great mantra. Good words to live by, no doubt. But yeah, anyway, so I mean, finding the internet is a deep, dark, weird place. It is. And I feel like you're finding the deepest and darkest of it. So like, hats off to you because you're diving in there. You're getting your hands dirty, man. Yeah, thanks.

There's a never-ending surplus of who let you have a computer. Are you guys, it's kind of like put to us, are you guys like, do you consider yourselves like the bad boys of YouTube? No. Are you like anti-YouTubers? I would say more like the bad boys of the internet. Oh, the whole fucking thing. The whole thing you're

gonna fight us for that title bro we'll go a little tag team match if you wanna man we'll sell some pay-per-views on that shit winners get to say we're the real bad boys the blog nerds versus the youtubers yeah exactly that'll be a good match up how about this you guys can be the bad boys we'll be the naughty boys. Oh, okay. I'm not sure about that one. That's a whole different demo, I think. You'll be in a whole different industry. Which, by the way, we were just watching

your video. Actually, no, you were talking about the podcast. You were watching the video of the girl on the escalator. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you've seen that? Oh, yeah. Okay, that's the thing. You can't call that girl that girl. You have to know that girl's name. Yeah.

What is it? It's Adriana Chechnik. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You almost did. Come on, man. You're not that tall. I knew her that girl. If I'm too quick with it, my girl's going to be like, why did it?

You didn't even blink. So, yeah, Adriana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like Adriana Chechnik or whatever. I knew it, too. I knew it. Kevin was like, well, to be fair to them, I mean, she Chechnik or whatever. I knew it, too. I knew it. Kevin was like, well, to be fair to them, I mean, she's facing the wrong way. I'm like, I still know.

That's more identifiable. That's more recognizable than her face. Her upside-down face is more recognizable than her upside face. I almost knew the noise. Oh, my God! Tell the voice! When I hear Beyonce, I can tell. I recognize by the spray.

That's how I. I know that. She's covering a lot of ground. Dude, her clip of her in the cop car or whatever. Oh, yeah. That shit is funny. Just cruising through New York. Just.

Dude, I followed her on Snapchat for a while and I ended up unfollowing her because it was just her blowing Uber drivers all the time. What? That's what? Oh yeah. I'm considering becoming an Uber driver justifying Adriana. I'm going to drive around. I'm going to check. Nope.

Decline, decline, decline until Adriana picks me up, man. Holy shit. She really does that? Oh yeah. She'll blow like anybody on man. Holy shit. She really does that? Oh, yeah. She'll blow like anybody on site. You guys should get involved with that. Oh, I need to blow YouTuber today. Like, bam, here we go. Does everybody just move to New York

on the off chance they might get blown by her? Honey, we have to move. She does, like, I'll check out her Twitter. I don't follow her on Twitter. But you follow. Because, like, people get notifications, like, oh, look who fights, just follow. I don't follow her on Twitter but you follow because like people get notifications like oh look who fights just follow her

I don't want that but I'll like probably twice a day I'll go check and see what she's been up to Jesus and she spends so much time going to music festivals

you should give that girl a follow I should follow I absolutely should follow her but I'm not and she'll be like yo I'm going to Tomorrowland or whatever festivals recently she's like

need 50 guys to meet up to blow so I can blow them I'm'm gonna start going on because of a festival guy i'm just my new thing is like adrian check is my holy grail and i'm just gonna make that my quest uber driver i don't think it's that hard i think we could make this happen by like this weekend yeah i think we'll just like hang out wherever adrian check is and check it she'll blow you start uber driving just during festival festivals. There you go. Double up. Yeah, exactly. That's two birds one stone. It'll happen maybe a couple times that weekend.

Jesus Christ, dude. I'm blown away. So this is what we do here. I don't know how your operation is, but this is a standard Monday 10 a.m. for us. I just picture her squirting into a cup. Yeah, I can find you a video of that, too. You know, like on Ash Wednesday when the priest comes around with the leaf. Oh, I can find you a video of that too. Like, you know, like on like Ash Wednesday when the priest comes around

with like the leaf. Oh no, dude. He's got a very, he's got a very sensitive stomach. Really? Is that real? No, he does this

like twice a week. We got him. Once I get it down, it's fine, but yeah, it'll, it'll, it comes up a week. We got him. Once I get it down, it's fine, but yeah, it'll, it comes up quick. Goddamn.

Fuck. Yeah, all right. I like how it's like making fun of us if we're in too early, then, I mean,

it's a little early for that. Let's, let's call it spade to spade. Still, I'm still joking on my fucking eggs from this morning. Oh my God.

I'm getting less than eight drives. Heaven's the fucking game. I didn't expect this to happen. We went 0-100, man. 0-100. Just baptizing dudes at the festival. What's the

weirdest, what's the worst of That's Cringe? What was the one that stuck with you the most that you're just like, what the fuck, man? You know, man, everyone is mostly cool. Who wasn't cool? It was only the Girl Defying Chicks that took it really personal.

They took it personal? Yeah. Well, that's to be expected. Those type of people. The Catholics? The religious folks were a little offended. No way. They can't take a joke?

You're stunning. And then the girl from the U one was like not pleased. Oh yeah. Her and her boyfriend were like they like made merch

with like the phrases to like try and like make it into how like unbothered they were. Right. That's the way to do it. Yeah.

This doesn't bother me. I'm going to put it on his shirt. Yeah. That's how little I care. Yeah. And then like her boyfriend did did the saltiest shit. He's like, thanks for paying my bills. Oh, God.

Okay, man. All right. You got backlash for it was the Pauls, right? I mean, that's when you became. That's why I think of you as a bad boy. You're a bully. Logan Paul was on our flight here yeah he's bringing him in like three hours oh you are yeah we're doing like the whole youtube circuit today apparently really just kind

of worked out that way if you guys want to stick around have a fist fight we can do that too i don't know i think i got something i gotta he's a huge dude he's a big boy he walks always big like damn yeah yeah he's a big dude yeah you knew that yeah but like you know seeing him in person yeah it's always different like it's about what i expected actually see i usually find the opposite whenever i meet someone i mean most i guess it's different but like mostly entertainers are usually tinier yeah like they're smaller than what are you saying is that why you jacked the chairs up what the fuck is going on here? Start knocking over microphones in a second. Throw a temper tantrum at this bitch real fast. Have you guys dabbled with TikTok yet?

TikTok, I feel like, is the holy grail of cringe. I mean, every fucking person on there is crazy. No, there's some bleak shit on TikTok. As a matter of fact, I don't even know the other side of it. Only a couple guys here fuck with TikTok, and all they do is show you the bleak shit on tiktok dark there's like matter of fact i don't even know the other side of it the only only a couple guys here fuck with tiktok and all they do is show you the bleak shit yeah so i can't even it just seems like a hopeless abyss of gross oh yeah i was on like there's some twitter account called like cursed tiktoks or something like that where it's like someone that finds like the worst of the worst and post them and it's like i can't even believe that these people exist

and they're willingly like let me film this and put it out yeah this is good this is the content I want to put out there I've seen so many construction workers

make thirst traps yeah or like cops cops cops are horny as fuck those guys are trying to get it in

all the time man in uniform and like dudes with like you know like the top hat dudes with samurai swords and shit

like biting their lips and doing like thirst you can't start that with you know I don't, like the top hat dudes with samurai swords and shit. Like biting their lips and doing like thirst. You can't start that with you know. I don't know. Like the m'lady type of dudes. It's like the m'lady dudes grew up just physically, but everything else is still like Reddit 2000

whatever the fuck. I feel like TikTok just hasn't reached the coast yet. Yeah, it's just straight middle America weirdness. I feel like TikTok just hasn't reached the coast yet. Yeah, it's just straight middle America weirdness. I think Vine was like a liberal elite coast thing. TikTok is the bread basket. TikTok's the MAGA of social media. It really is. You gotta be missing three teeth,

have like one sister who still lives with you. Maybe you don't fuck her, but she lives with you. Maybe you're an adult who lives with a sister yeah it's like everything with it is it's very uncomfortable yeah yeah very middle america and then just like teenage girls yeah it's a strange dynamic yeah but so you guys both started in vine uh pretty much yeah i mean i started doing he's been doing vine longer than i was i was actually in a stand-up and i just did vine as like a all right i can't get on stage all the time, so I just did this in the background. And that was just like, I mean,

quick flash in the pan, but if you got in, right place, right time, it obviously led to much better things. I mean, I definitely have Vine to thank for everything that's been happening, but we were both software engineers. Oh, really? So you guys had like normal

miserable lives first. Yeah, we had nine to five. I think that makes a huge difference. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It really does. I think that's what I attribute my work ethic, doing comedy and stuff now. That's why we're able to do so much shit, I feel like, is because we came from the conventional formula of just grinding or whatever. I mean, even when shit gets bad or stressful or controversial here,

I'm like, whatever, because it could be way worse. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Were you guys already big on YouTube when Vine kicked it? No. No.

We had to, like, restart. Were you fucking scared? Yeah. Were you like, fuck, like, I'm going back to that job? It was brutal for me, because that was, like, I'm Canadian. Right. And so, like, that was around the time where I applied for my visa to be, like, an entertainer full time.

And so, like, Vine basically died right when I got the visa. And so, like, my visa to be like an entertainer full-time and so like vine basically died right when i got the visa and so like i had to quit being an engineer then and i was like so i went from like you know having this great salary to zero pretty much and having to restart on youtube and like it wasn't working for a long time yeah really yeah we were we i was vlogging three times a week he was posting like we would do videos together basically like basically every day of the week and it just like wasn't like nothing was happening you know i was just like fuck this sucks what hit like what made it work was there one video or one yeah like i had found like that blowjob robot video yeah and then i just sent it to him he's like we should make a

video on this both of you guys acting like you wouldn't give that a whirl come on i mean come on give it a whack i bought one i invented it It's actually me now. I got the Blowjob Robot money. That's a Kickstarter. So that was the one. So you have kind of not everything to thank, but a huge piece of the success is the Blowjob Robot. Yeah, pretty much. Our whole career, I would say. We owe to that.

So that hits you guys, what, like overnight, like overnight like you know 10 times the views or whatever you're used to and then all of a sudden from there you just pop off it wasn't like overnight but it was like oh shit like that was solid and then it was just like do it again do it again and then it got a bit of traction and um once it started doing that then one thing led to another crazy he had started a podcast and i did an episode and um did real well so we're like all right fuck it let's start a podcast and then, yeah, now we're here, I guess. It's a wild time.

Yeah, everything's from that. Like, we started making music, then we started doing like live stuff and it's been a, this is all happening. Yeah, so I mean, you're doing live stuff now, right?

That's what we're, we're promoting Tiny Meat Gang. Yeah, yeah. And you guys have your fucking girls on tour with you? Crazy. You guys are YouTube stars. You're like, that's modern rock star, right? You got your girls on tour with you? Crazy. You guys are YouTube stars.

That's modern rock star, right? You got your girls on tour with you? Careful, man. My wire is on. It's trying to get me in trouble. Drop out of the ceiling on us. I love you. I don't know what he's talking about.

It's a direct line at all times. She's in the car right now. She's got her earpiece and the pelican case open. The surveillance van. Is he talking? So Tiny Meat Gang is the podcast, which you also now do on stage, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The live show is more like stand-up, but it has shades of everything we do.

So that's what I was going to ask. Is it like a scripted act, or is it just you guys shooting the shit it's more scripted but like we leave room for yeah definitely a lot of room for improv it's wild we just we've past couple years we've been doing some live shows but we're really back on it for the first time and about to do it consistently and it just feels like it's kind of still like the wild west where it's like there for the taking so you're not quite a stand-up comedian you're not quite a podcast you're somewhere in between you're doing this yeah hybrid but people are coming out right i mean it's yeah wild scene yeah i mean i think the crowd work part is is the best like it's the most

entertaining part like every show will have like something weird or yeah you guys are fucking bullies huh yeah we are yeah we're even worse on stage he didn't even smile he's just like yup yeah i'm not even funny on stage i'm just like fuck your haircut you suck that's exactly how we come on ah damn you look like shit I'm not even funny on stage. I'm just like, fuck your haircut. You suck. That's exactly how we come on stage. Damn, you look like shit. I didn't realize our audience was so ugly. Jesus, fuck.

God damn it. Do you feel like you're... I'm trying to figure out just how famous you guys are. Not at all. In certain circles, obviously,'s a a huge deal we kind of feel we see it a little bit with the blog world but then outside of it nobody there's people who would have no fucking idea who we are are you like in that world or do are you like people all over the place know you at this point um it's getting i don't know it's it's recently it's been like everywhere we go it'll be people will it's a good feeling so you know you're doing something

right yeah i mean it's an ego boost for sure. I'll take a fucking picture. All right. You know what? That actually answers my question. Is it at the point where you're like, fuck, I don't want to take another picture.

Or are you at like, hell yeah, I'll take a picture. Only recently. It's gotten to the point where people are like coming up like at dinner and shit like that. Yeah. That gets annoying.

Like people like jamming their phones in our faces with people that are already on FaceTime. Being like, hey, can you say hi to my friend? And I'm like, I'm eating dinner. That's the only point where I'm a little bit like, this sucks. But other than that, it's always like, no, for sure. It's always cool to have people come up.

Do you develop the... Because our world is very small, but in it, the same thing kind of happens. Have you developed the sixth sense where you can just feel like, feel someone behind you, like, someone's got a camera on you right now? Yeah, I mean, it varies, like, I think, like, the age definitely dictates what they're going to do.

Like, if they're younger, they're not subtle at all. Like, they go... You're like, Bryce, me and you in the Starbucks. It's all good. It's not that bad. It's like, you just kind of, like, look this way, and this way, and you see it comes like, huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had the best one the other day. We had this terrible bit, and this dude just comes up to me and our buddy Spock while we're

eating lunch. Just broad daylight, a bunch of corporate people hanging around. He's like, I got so much fucking cum in my ass. I'm like, whoa. What's up? What's up, champ? Good to meet you. What's up, champ?

And he just walks right up to us. He's like, dude, I'm a huge fan. I'm like, I can tell. Holy shit. That's my favorite bit as well. I got so much fucking cum in my ass. Yeah. Somebody just ate,

just a dude in a tie eating a cheeseburger it was wild man yeah that's something wild wild words 95 of everyone is super cool they're super nice so it's like yeah does it does the age difference like uh i mean i you guys are what 28 29 right yeah 21 but yeah i feel like you know, your demo probably skews pretty low. No, it's like 18 to 24. All right. So that's pretty standard.

Yeah. It's like a lot of college kids. Yeah. That's like the bulk of it. But then, like, we definitely have, like, a good chunk, like, outliers. Like, we have, like, I mean, it's like, you know, when you're, likeKY, and people be assholes, and that shit's real cool. So we have people like that, but then we'll have dudes that are straight up like 40. Them and their coworkers will come to our show, and they'll be like, yeah, man, my 40-year-old producer is like, fuck, this motherfucker right here.

Old as shit. Right, you're disgusting. It's like podcasts. I think podcasts skew like more male and like a little bit older. And then YouTube skews like more female and a little bit younger. So like we'll get everything. Like, you know, we'll get like senior citizens. Life support. We got to do blood transfusions at the show.

You know what I'm saying? Well, man, it sounds like you guys are doing good. You're covering all your bases. So the Tiny Meat Gang is the, is what, I guess like kind of the musical group slash podcast slash live performers. Bad boys of the internet. Bad boys of the internet.

The naughty little bad boys of the internet. And I don't like that one. Adriano, we're talking to you. We appreciate you boys coming through. We're about to go answer some questions from the internet, if you don't mind. And we'll get weird with it. But go follow on YouTube, listen to the podcast, buy some tickets, the whole nine. Yeah.

You guys are funny guys. Thank you. All right. Big thank you to the That's Cringe Tiny Meat Gang guys. It's interesting to see the two different sides of YouTube. Like we said, they're the anti-YouTube YouTubers. They're not the, what's up, guys, all up in your face. Remember when we tried to do that?

Yeah, so bad. We never did that, but we tried to just have like, I don't know. It's just that's a different world. I can't do it. I can't do it. You're ruining my book, bro. Yeah, I know. You're just drawing on my beautiful Postmates book.

It's fucked up. It is interesting, though, because we did try to dabble in the world of vlogging. And I said as much in the interview, you have to be active and do stuff in order to really have a consistent – because otherwise, you can do a vlog, but for us, it's just behind the scenes. But unless you're very active or constantly coming up with material the vlog world is tough and that's where i think everyone is always what's up youtube but those guys have found a way to be like they they just they sit in front of their computer yeah they do internet stuff and they talk about it it's amazing it's because that's what is most relatable millionaire really but like hats off to them for just finding

a way to do what everyone else does, but doing it in a unique enough way that everyone's like, I want to watch them do it. We all do that. We all just sit around the internet going, oh my God, you see that video? It was so fucking cringeworthy. They just get millions of dollars to it.

Fuck them. Speaking of millions of dollars, we got to now talk to, this is a man with many millions of dollars. He's the best The best Kamish in the game Dana White We're talking UFC 240

And all things MMA Bob Fox about to join us Let's talk to Kamish What's up Dana? Hey buddy How we doing man? I'm great, how are you? I'm good

It's Kevin, John And we got your boy Robbie Fox here with us as well What's up Dana? What's up, Dana? What's up, buddy? So we got UFC 240 is upon us this weekend? Yes, sir. And we got Max Holloway versus Frankie Edgar in the main event. Featherweight title fight. Hell of a fight.

But we were more curious about how come you have not done the bottle cap challenge, seeing as how the guy in the fight this weekend is the one who made that such a sensation. Everybody else in the world has done it. Where is Uncle Dana's bottle cap challenge? You're the marketing guru. I need a kick. I think I saw some samurai in that office with your tour with Bob. I need a samurai slice off a bottle cap, I think.

I don't know. It's not really my thing. I'll tell you what. It's not anyone's thing, I think. I tried it probably two weeks ago. My back's still not right. So you're probably smart for doing that. But I don't know.

You throw a sword at it, see what happens. Is that something, though? If it fucked your back up, imagine what it's going to do to me. Let me tell you what. You are in far better shape than I am. So you probably got a better shot than I did. As the marketing guru, like he says, though, when you see something like that go viral and you realize it's one of your guys

who just kind of did it on a whim and now all of a sudden it's UFC exposure and you got a guy getting a lot more eyeballs than you ordinarily would, is that something where you are just seeing dollar signs and you got a guy, you know, getting into the getting, you know, a lot more eyeballs than you ordinarily would. Is that something where you are just seeing dollar signs and you're like, ka-ching? No, not really. But but it's cool. I think that, you know, one of the things about mixed martial arts and about our athletes is they all have these different personalities. They're all unique and interesting and different in their own ways. And I think that our our fighters do a lot of fun things on social media. There's a lot of people in the sport that are a fun follow.

So unfortunately, in the fighting world, there was some horrible, tragic news in the boxing world. And I know that Bob was explaining to me how you are kind of thinking about diving into a boxing promotion yourself. If you were involved in a situation like that, how do you think you would handle it? Yeah, I've always thought about that. When you're in this business, it's something that you obviously have to think about, and that's why we go so overboard on medicals. We always make sure that everybody's healthy before, during, and after about. And we go so incredibly overboard on medical.

And it makes the sport a lot safer. But one of the things I would like to say, when something like that happens, it reverberates throughout the entire industry. When I say industry, I mean fighting period everybody feels it and you know everybody you know can't even explain to you where everybody goes and how you feel when something like that happens to such a young talented guy and much respect to buddy McGirt for his corner work and begging him to stop that fight. Incredible.

That was a tough scene to watch. It really, you know, I'm not envious of anybody in the corner position when something like that is going on because it's kind of a lose-lose either way. But, yeah, he did his best there for sure. Definitely. Dana, Robbie here. You don't see a lot of guys pushing like that to please stop the fight,

begging him to stop the fight. And, you know, it's like Buddy McGirt knew it was crazy. It's a very powerful, like you said, very powerful thing. I'm actually posting that today with props to Buddy. Yeah, definitely. Dana, it's Robbie. On the

brighter side of things, your birthday's coming up this weekend, and I wanted to ask you if you had... That's brighter? It's definitely brighter. Are we like 35 this year, Dana? I would imagine a guy like yourself has had some crazy birthdays. So have you ever had one of those crazy celebrity birthday parties that has

a guest list where you're just blown away by the names on it? Shaq and all those guys? I would say my 40th birthday was like that. My 40th birthday was pretty crazy. Stone Temple Pilots played at my birthday. I mean, what the fuck? That's what I knew I was getting from you with that question,

the Stone Temple Pilots. How does that even unfold? Are they like, you know, is that a favor or is that a paid thing or is it just like, yeah, we're all boys, we'll just do a set for you? No, my wife put together my 40th birthday, and it was incredible. It was a surprise, and she totally got me, surprised me. I had no idea. You know, I thought we were going to go to a dinner or something, and some of the usual suspects would be there, but the level this party was,

and it was so badass. Right up to Joe Rogan going up on stage and giving a speech and then introducing Stone Temple Pilots, because I shouldn't even say on stage, they didn't have a stage. It was all, you know, curtained off, so it didn't even look like we were in a ballroom. I didn't even know there was a stage there. And all of a sudden the curtain dropped, and Joe Rogan goes, Stone Temple Pilots.

Oh, man. It was fucking incredible. I mean, that's pretty tough to top. A couple years before he died. Yeah, I mean, that's going to go down in history. But I am looking at the other celebrity birthdays from July 28th. And it looks like Soulja Boy also shares a birthday with you. Oh, shit. Along with Lori Loughlin,

a couple people who have been. So listen. Those are two people I think who are literally in jail right now. If you want to have yourself a birthday, though, you know, maybe we get them out and you can have yourself a time, man. Hell of a trio. It should be a hell of a fight this weekend, though. We appreciate you calling in.

Don't want to take up too much of your time as you are the busiest, best, and savviest commissioner in sports. I said you were today. Would you say so? I don't know. I don't know, man. Listen, when you look at everybody shits on

Goodell, I wouldn't take Goodell's job no matter what they're paying him. No? I wouldn't want that job. 40 mil, man. 40 mil a year? Nah. Keep it.

The shit that that guy has to go through on a daily basis and, you know, and all the different, you know, egos and personalities that he has to deal with on so many different levels from players to owners to GMs. That's a job, man. Oh, yeah, like you don't know anything about managing egos, Dana. I got to get off this call and talk to Conor McGregor and Khabib. Yeah, you don't know anything about that. Listen, I love this sport.

I love what I do, and I can't even imagine not doing this. So when I talk about other leagues, I don't know the daily shit that they go through. So for me to judge them, I can't. But the fact that you even asked me that, thank you. I appreciate it. I think it's you or Adam Silver, but, like, I mean, you'll call us up and you'll say, fuck.

I don't think Adam Silver said fuck in his whole life. You are so funny, man. You know exactly how to appeal to the regular guy out there, so I'm going to give you the edge. The humility for not taking it, that just makes me want to give it to you more. Yeah, you know exactly what you're doing, you son of a bitch. You know what's up. We appreciate it, man.

Everybody go make sure they get the pay-per-view this weekend, and we'll talk to you soon, man. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Dana. You too. All right, big thank you to Dana White as well, our third guest of the day. Unfortunately, right after we were done,

GSP said he wanted to fight Habib as his dream fight. It would have been a great soundbite for him. Legacy fight,

he called it. As soon as we hung up the phone with him, went over there, that was on my Twitter. And you know

Dana White will have some bomb-ass quote for whoever he just did the next phone hitter with. Son of a bitch! I mean,

I don't know if it's his bomb-ass. I mean, Dana White's just so Son of a bitch! I mean, I don't know if it's his bomb. I mean, Dana White's just so goddamn... Honestly, after that interview, I went and sat at my desk, and I was like, all I thought about was Dana White. He's so... He's the commissioner of a billion-dollar company, and he'll just be like, yeah, fuck it.

I don't give a shit. I know. Fucking awesome! It's so awesome! When he challenges Oscar De La Hoya to a fight, and he's fucking stuffing Rovell in lockers. He shoots the shit with us. Says he won't take fucking Roger Goodell's job for all the money in the world.

I mean, that I wanted to basically say, that's a testament to one thing and one thing only, how fucking rich you are. Yeah. It's like 40 mil ain't worth it, bro. It is. It's just so – I think what he is is he's such a bastion for authenticity.

And I think that almost – that gives me hope for us and for Barstool as a company. It's just like – it's someone who's been lucky enough and doesn't get very successful. But people like him so much because he's just real. He's just this like – I'm not going to watch my language. I say fuck. I'm going to say fuck. Yes. Granted, it's a violent sport. It's just this like, I'm not going to watch my language. I say fuck. You're right. I'm going to say fuck. Granted, it's a violence sport.

It's a pay-per-view sport. It's there. You couldn't do that with... If Adam Silver came out and said fuck, it would be a thing. Right. And he's just done it in a way where he's kind of grandfathered in.

It's not like... He doesn't make us think about it either. You're not going to have a quote of him saying, I don't censor myself I say whatever I want he just does it but I really do think what matters is nobody is ever going to consider MMA to be like a role model organization

like the kids shouldn't and probably aren't watching it I was going to say that and I stopped myself because I mean MMA gyms are popping up all over the place kids fight it's not super duper mainstream, but kids do it. It's always been a thing. Like the kid who gets bullied, takes up boxing.

Kids aren't tuning in to the midnight pay-per-view the same way. I think more than you think are. But enough to be that they're not going to be like, you're a role model, Dana. They probably are, but it's not accepted that way. So he gets away with whatever he wants and he does it in a very authentic and charming manner

so alright that's enough sucking his dick I don't think so Dana put it on the table it would go

thud it would break like the Spanish announcer's table in WWF smashing what happened here Dana might put his dick

on it yeah he had stone double positive his 40th birthday he's got a... Oh yeah, not even on stage. It was just there because it was a party.

Fuck you, Dana White. Thank you. You're the best. See you next week. Turn around. Look at what you see. In her face. The mirror of your truth make believe I'm everywhere

give it in the light written on the pages is the answer to a never ending story Reach the stars Fly a fantasy Dream a dream And what you see will be Run again their secrets will I'm both behind the clouds

And there upon a rainbow is The answer to our never-ending story Story Soaring high