KFC Radio - Dawgs at the Park (Ft. Glenny Balls, Tommy Smokes, Marty Mush and Dana Beers)

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 03:21 Glenny Balls' Ticket Problem 12:50 Glenny could be a millionaire if he could be an agent for OF girls 16:29 Tommy Smokes Trash Situation 18:03 Marty's parents sold their house because Dana was so gross 26:31 Mammoni's 31:15 Only reason you go out is to get laid 39:14 Barstool Wedding Season 50:48 Glenny left Travis Kelce on read ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Simplisafe: Get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring at https://Simplisafe.com/KFCRADIO HelloFresh: Go to http://HelloFresh.com/kfcsweet for FREE dessert for life!You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. What was the reason, what was the last straw why you sold our childhood home? Why? Because you're slobs. Who was a big slob? Who was a big slob? Nick. Who'd you say?

Actually, Dana. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Feidelberg will join us in a second. Boy, do we got the dogs out today. Just a little picnic with the fellas. This feels like Wild Boys territory from back in the day. Remember the Wild Boys? The Wild Boys radio?

I don't know why you guys said Sirius XM. It was. We got no respect for Wild Boys. You were wild. Was Dana a Wild Boy? No. Us three, Robbie. Big Evan Vibs.

Those are the Wild Boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are, Robbie. Big Evan Vibs. Those are the wild boys. Those are the wild boys. What a fucking crew. They gave me and Tommy Friday afternoons at 5 o'clock. We had the Yaks. We had the Friday Yaks. Friday Yaks, Friday wild boys. Just talk about jerking off. Come on down, Johnny.

Oh, it's serious XM. It's crazy. Dude, the serious years were something. I give anybody a fucking... Because you know what was funny? It was like when we started with the – you're just going to – we're just putting you right in the middle, big fella. A lot of thigh for John.

A lot of man thigh, boys. Tommy, why do you sit like that? Glenn and Kevin are also sitting like that. Hey, Marty, why don't you try to sit Indian style? Let me see how bad it is. John can't either. No, my right leg will be up like that. I don't.

No, no, no. You can still kind of do it, though. Can you do it? Oh, I don't like it. We got to get a shot of your white legs. I just feel, you know, gay. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's very gay.

I mean, a bunch of grown men sitting on a tiny picnic blanket Indian style is, this is probably the gayest thing ever. Did anyone hear? This is gay, though. Tommy Suck Dick. Did anyone here see the firefighter trainees? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, if my house is on fire and these guys show up, we're in trouble.

They looked like children. They were in high school. Where's your fucking dad? Get out of here. They've got to be. That had to be. That had to be like their dads are firefighters. Or like a volunteer program or something.

It looked very real firefighter training. And if that's the case, the FDNY is in trouble. They must have been judging us so hard walking by during a fucking potato sack race. I think we look more athletic than they did. I want a guy who's got a light buzz, pretty racist. That's who I want to save me from a fire.

Unless you're in a building with... Come get me first! You see these thighs? They're getting me first! I want some guy who says horrific shit. Dude, I know so many firemen and union guys that are all different races, right? And they're all racist. And they all will hear the slur against them and throw the slur against them. And they're all cool.

They're all friendly. And they all call each other the most horrific shit. It's just like an understood, you know, it's an unwritten rule we are here on randall's island uh we just did i think the first ever barstool field day right it's never we had the one where caller daddy showed up oh yeah but that one that this was way better than that one yeah i don't think i did that one i don't know this was way way better that was those were like the dark years where we were just – The scary years. Yeah, the scary years. Now it's back to like the regular Barstool cruise. Barstool, New York, failed day will be coming your way.

Glennie Balls just got iced out of his – what do you think of this situation? Some guy – can I talk about this or no? What? The tickets. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can talk about it. That was a resounding yes. Hypothetically speaking. No, but I don't think it's that bad,

but I think it's a 50-50 split you're going to see. Yeah. If you own season tickets in your name. I don't know how I'm going to say it. And you have – it's not going to be the best. Indian style. No, I physically can't do that. I'm sorry to interrupt.

You own the tickets. It's in your names, but you have how many years? We're probably doing this five years, I'd say. Five years running. You have a rule, but not like in paper or anything, that you split it with Glennie or someone else and their friend. And they pay face value for these tickets. And when the playoffs come along, he's always offered them game two at face value.

And this year, the guy just doesn't want to do it. And he's just like, hey, man, I know we have a thing but i like i want to go and you and you always just split we usually will always get game two of the playoff series of every playoff series that we've done you get game two you get every other game no game two because there's we split it three people so i believe it's one two three and then the main guy gets game seven, I would say. Got it. Yeah, I mean, that's – my family splits tickets. In my history, I don't think anyone's ever been like,

hey, never mind, you don't get a game. So you think you'll get game five now? I don't – I have no idea. I don't think he's going to get a ticket at all. Either way, we're good. Thank you to game time because I'm going to go Friday night. Thank you to game time, so I'm going to go Friday either way. But that is the current scenario we're going through right now.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to avoid this trouble altogether, just go to Game Time. It's the number one. It's the official ticketing app of Barstool Sports. So if you are in a situation where you get left out to dry or you want to get in the building, you can get best tickets at the best available price going to Game Time. All the playoff sports, all live events, all music, all comedy, go to a Broadway show every fucking two minutes like John. You can get in the building, and when you use code KFC,

you get $20 off your first purchase. They have zone deals where you get a discount based on where you live. They have discounts, flash deals at the last minute before games tip off. And if you can find a better price, GameTime will give you 110% of the difference between the two prices on the other app. So,

download the GameTime app today. Promo code KFC. Terms apply. Glennie's going to get in the building for $20 off. And I would also like to clarify that Kyle's all class. He's a good guy. Last year we went last round. What's his first and last name? Last round we went to the game.

Last round he gave us the Game 2 tickets, then he bought his own tickets to go to the game again. Yeah, I'm not knocking him. So you're saying you can't do that with the tickets? I'm saying it's unheard of in my world. What do you think? I would probably agree with fights. I agree with fights but i would also act how glenn is acting i would not say yes yeah i wouldn't i would we're all pussies here it's a

shitty move but you don't really have any like actual ground the problem is um it's it's just like you just have to call up and be like, I'm going to be a dick. He's like, I'm trying to do the right thing. He's like, well, you're actually not. You're actually not, though, and that's the problem. But it sounds like you've had a good, long-running relationship with him. And I'm still going to go either way, probably with, respectfully, better seats with game time. Oh, well, then you don't even need them.

That's right. Beers, you were on the floor last night. I don't know how. On the wood? I mean, it was all through game time. Shout-out Mulcahy. Shout-out game time. You had feet on wood? I was, like, all through game time. Shout out Mulcahy. Shout out game time. You had feet on wood?

I was like right behind wood. First time? Yeah. I wasn't on wood, but I was behind wood. Wow. I went to game time. I've never been. Game time, it was round of 32.

It was Duke versus James Madison. I just sat next to Seth Meyers. That's crazy. For six hours. And he was talking to me my ear off. Was he the man? he was really nice I've always been a big Seth Meyers guy

you didn't know Seth Meyers? he was just a random dude talking to me so people came up to me for pictures and then people started coming to him like who the fuck is this guy and the whole time he was going who the fuck is this guy that's the funniest thing about Barstool you can have a scenario where there's an A-lister going who the fuck is this guy? That's the funniest thing about Barstool. You can have a scenario where there's an A-lister going,

who the fuck is this? And a Barstool guy going, who the fuck is that? I had that with BJ Novak once on a plane. Someone asked me for a picture, and BJ Novak's sitting right across from me. He's like, what the fuck? And they hate that. They'll play it off.

Be like, what's that? But they do not like that. Who? I can't think of his fucking name. Boston comedian. He was in Rescue me dennis leary no but the older guy uh he's a big it's it's embarrassing i can't think of his name i sat next to him at the pats ram super bowl and at halftime he was like all right who the fuck are

you that's the best god i can't i don't just can't even explain it either. It's impossible. I work for this like internet company. I make TikToks. Where is he? I know. Oh, shit. I know he's in the show. I don't think he's. Yes, Lenny Clark.

There it is. Lenny Clark. Lenny Clark. He's in the. Uncle Teddy. Four Nights in October, right? That's funny. Yeah.

Who the fuck are you? All right. Who the fuck uh we just uh like i said we we just finished up field day which i think is going to be a very entertaining video when i thought about the highlights of this there's like three highlights in my mind they're they're excellent um there's gonna be some great slow motion shots That's for sure This dude Said he did field day once in his life Fights?

It's like all I know I'm a broken I know I'm a broken record But it's like Everything about you Makes sense when you start to learn It's like oh I never even got to play field day as a child It's like no one here fucked up

Field day was like the best thing in the world From like first to fifth grade Field day was like the greatest thing that can happen to you the food oh i think we get some italian heroes yeah yeah yeah i i like i must have either been sick or i just don't remember like i have one very clear memory of field day and just because it was like the roman coliseum like our parents were there. It was chaos. It was a huge deal. But I only remember that one time. One of my birthdays was electric because this kid, Robbie, brought a knife. What?

And it was fifth grade, and he brought a knife, and it got crazy out there. What was his motive? He literally hated this. It was basically like a gang war. Like a school stabbing? He was going to stab him. A person, like an individual? Yes. That was electric? It was awesome like a school stabbing. He was going to stab him. A person, like an individual? Yes.

That was electric? It was awesome for the fellas. I was waiting for a different story. He just wanted to stab someone. Yeah, he wanted to kill someone. I got to ask. Where did you break your egg? What do you mean?

Like that protein-based liquid in your hair. What is that? It's not it. Oh, never mind. It's out now. Okay. It looked very like... Got cum in your hair?

Yeah. It looked like you had cum in your hair. No. I've literally never... No, that's cum. I don't think it's cum. We had... I think everybody feels this way about their gym class or their field day or whatever.

We had the best one ever. I had the best teacher. I think we legit had way about their gym class or their field day or whatever. We had the best one ever. I had the best teacher. I think we legit had the best field day ever. We had people go on top of the building, which was only two stories, but still people up on top of the building for field day, dropping Ziploc bags of water. And whoever could, you catch it and it spills, but whoever maintains the most water is the winner. That is awesome.

That was dope. And then we had the leaky barrel, which was like a big garbage can with holes drilled in it. And it was filled up with water, and your team had to poke holes in it to keep the water. It was straight up like Double Dare. Did you have team names? We had Miss Morse. We were Morse Marines. You had to come up with Wanans Wonders. I'm trying to remember what the other one was.

I think we just did colors. I don't remember. You ever do the egg drop? What's the egg drop? I don't even know if that's what it's called, but you create your own homemade system to make sure you drop it from wherever. Oh, it's got to catch it.

And if it falls and it's open, and it's still fucking not cracked. That sounds like science. I was going to say, I think, and it's still fucking not cracked. That sounds like a science experiment. I was going to say, I think we did a science experiment. It's not going to do a thing. Did you, were you good at that? You guys ever learn chemistry? You bring that to me.

I was going to bring something else. Go ahead. Well, he was talking about cum in his hair, but Jackie's hair is, you know. Oh, Jackie's always here. Well, speaking of cum. I was going to say, if you guys jerked off, and cum gets up. I've dodged it.

You dodged your own cum shot. You've never heard it hit the pillow? You're like, whoa, what the fuck was that? That's ass. I'm debating if I even want to say this. I was once having sex with a girl and I came in my hair. She was on top

and it was blast off time. I had to get her off. I tried to not say it in the moment but I had to say it. So how does that walk me through the aftermath of that? Do she know? She knew? that uh wait so how does that walk me through the aftermath of that like so what do you do when this happens any tips for for this dude while we're in the come talk segment i heard uh i heard glennie and billy football talking porn stars earlier no way and you can believe it it's the oldest i've ever felt

like we don't know the names anymore i didn't know the look i've been through the time where i stopped recognizing rappers yeah later i stopped recognizing pop stars now i'm stopped recognizing actors and that's all fine i've been okay with all of that now that i'm not recognizing porn stars i'm like damn dude but but but that've got to draw a line somewhere. But that's also, you know, how many times have we had this discussion about what constitutes a porn star? Because Glennie knows every OnlyFans girl in the world. Who was the one? It was Angie Faith who we had on OnlyStans recently, and she is a porn star. She's a porn star.

I don't know that name either. Yeah, fuck. She's up and coming. Is she in OnlyFans or does she do like Vivid or some shit like that? Yeah. You'd probably make more money being an OnlyFans manager than Barstool. Oh, totally. Oh, a thousand percent.

You'd probably be the biggest agency. I would be a million. I would have hundreds of millions. I would have like hundreds of millions. Hundreds of millions? You said millions? No, I think I would be a millionaire though. If I started my own OnlyFans agency.

How often during those interviews does it get awkward where you're like, are we going to fuck? Pretty much never. Never? Come on. You're selling yourself. Someone's got too much respect for the game. Someone takes their titties out. I was like, feel my titties.

I'm like, are we going to fuck right now? I guarantee the last three girls. One time you were palming Angela White's pussy. There's never been one ounce of me being like, oh, me and Angela are going to have sex tonight. There's never been one ounce of that. Too much respect for the game. Not even respect for the game. I can just tell she's not trying to. Does Barbara Walters

fuck who she's interviewing? That's what I'm saying. I really don't know if I've ever been in one where I'm like, oh, this girl's interested. It's one thing, like, we've interviewed porn stars before, and I've never thought we're about to fuck. It's another thing when sex organs are coming out, and you're like, maybe we're fucking out. It's very sexist of you guys to just assume that we're talking about sex. Women's another thing when sex organs are coming out and you're like, maybe we're fucking out. I know, it's very sexist

of you guys to just assume that we're talking about sex so women want to have sex with me. People are presenting their titty

to Arsene Bucker over here. How about that? But no, I mean, who's fleshed me? Sky Bree. Yeah,

Sky Bree is like the hottest chick on the planet. She's beautiful. Stephanie Grzanski, no chance with me. Greatest moment of my life. Angela White, no chance.

Who else? This is great. Just Glennie, all my life. Angela White, no chance. Who else? This is great. Just Glennie all the times he's been blue-balled. Who else? There's definitely been more. But you know what? Oh, we have one coming out soon. I feel like if you tried, you could.

Like, Angela White loves you. No, there's zero chance. I know when it's a friend thing. All right. And I love Angela White. She's a beautiful woman. She's a great girl. She's super cool. Super smart. Love Angela White. But I don't know. We friend thing. All right. And I love Angela White. She's a beautiful woman. She's a great girl. Super cool.

Super smart. Love Angela White, but I don't know. We've gotten Drake since 4. I've never been like, oh. Now's the chance. Not now's the chance. I've never been like, oh, she's into it. You should turn into like an Adam 22 situation, but you just have sex like off camera.

You just come back and go, that was awesome. That's actually like the first time I found out who Adam22 was. I think he did that. It was like their vlog for YouTube, and they were like, all right, we're about to have a threesome. Camera clicked off, and then clicked back on, and everyone was like huffing and puffing. That sounds nice.

I was like, what the fuck is this, though? That I'd consider. That's the most, still to this day, the most nervous I've ever been doing a Barstool video was when I made the Legos for Christy Mack, and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do if she tries to suck my dick. Yeah, they don't always want to blow you

immediately. Well, but that thing was whoever brings me Legos, I'll give a blowjob. And I was like, what if this chick tries to suck my dick right now? This is just a funny bit. Like, I made Legos. Don't. Hey, listen here, Christy. I don't try to suck my dick. Don't you think? Don't you think Don't. Hey, listen here, Christy. Don't try to suck my dick. Don't you think.

Don't you think about it. Get out of here, Christy. Speaking of sucking dick, how does this look visually? I was going to say. That's all of our balls showing. The man thigh on the bottom. A lot of balls showing. He's got the compression shorts. We've got to talk about the craziest news of the day.

What's that? Tommy having to go six flights of stairs and around to the alley and throw his garbage out. Insane. Tommy Smokes with a six-story walk-up. Fifth floor, four stories. My thing with... Oh, that's nothing. Is that really what it is? Yeah, it's really not bad. That's not as bad. It's six stories. Six stories.

Twelve stories. I think I lived in a set... When I first lived in New York, I lived with a drug dealer. I think it was a seven-story walk-up. I think the six is the max like if seven you have to have an elevator who takes their trash out at any time when they're not already leaving like I just take my trash out when I'm leaving that's what I've been doing no but sometimes your garbage stinks when you're not leaving right yeah and you're like you leave it there totally all right but yeah you throw out some food you throw out some gross shit I don't think that happens to me

your garbage smell perfectly? Yeah, our last one ran out of garbage chutes so we didn't even use a garbage chute. I don't have a fucking construction site. That's not how you use a garbage chute. I know, but sometimes. You're White Sox Dave. You can't throw a singular item at the chute.

It's all going to fucking garbage. If it was like a box or something that I didn't feel like carrying down, just fucking throw it down there. And now God punished me, and I have to walk around fucking around the corner. He goes to me, but I don't have to cross the street. I just make two lefts. I walk around.

So you're walking around the block. There is a code to get in the garbage alley, and sometimes it just doesn't work, so people just leave their garbage out on the street. Well, that's New York City for you, baby. That's the West Village. Honestly, I prefer when that happens because i don't want to go in there yeah yeah yeah i try i try simply safe john not only does it give you safety but it gives you peace of mind i've said this many times before i want my house to be safe i want my kids to be safe i don't want to lose my belongings

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So I was telling John, I saw something the other day. 60 Minutes talked about it many, many years ago. They're called the... You have multiple bugs on you. You have multiple bugs on you. Mamonis. Do you know what a Mamoni is? Thanks, Tom.

Sorry. Mamoni? I'm looking at Glennie for a reason. No. Have anybody ever heard of Mamoni? No. So 60 Minutes reported on this in 2001. Okay.

Mamonis. They are Italian mama's boys who, well into adulthood, live at home and are waited on by their mother. Yeah. That's Long Island. That's Long Island. So I would be a Mamoni. That's what you're doing right now, right? So I would be a Mamoni.

You are a Mamoni. The thing is, though, I know what people say about Glennie. Half of my friends, the same thing. You would have never moved out if I didn't force you to. No. Pretty much. You forced my parents to sell my child at home. That was a weird situation.

No joke. Literally, I swear to God, the reason why my parents sold my house was because of Dana. We had this conversation. Really? That's exaggeration. We were there this past weekend, and we were like, they were talking like, when Dana had garbage everywhere. That's not true, dude!

And garbage bags. Dude, you were a bank in his hair. That is not true. He lived there for four months. Get the fuck out of here. You're saying he like ruined the house to the point where they sold it? No, he said garbage bags. They would come home from Florida and they'd be like, this place is disgusting.

That's not true! Wait, wait, wait. That's not true! Let's back up, let's back up. He's fucking lying. He's lying. I had garbage bags of clothes in the garage because I had nowhere else to put them. But there's no cars in the garage. We're not using it.

It's the middle of COVID. And your fat brother is the one who's fucking. Hey, hey, hey. He's the one who's fucking. He's all over the fucking. It wasn't all Dana, but Dana was the last straw. No, no, no, no. I would pick up my garbage.

Did you ever pee in a bottle at my house in Long Island? Yes. That's insane. I didn't pour it on the carpet. It was in a bottle. Yeah. I eventually brought it to the toilet. What, did COVID stop the water from running?

Why did you watch the COVID? He was downstairs. So me and my brother, sometimes I just wouldn't see Dana because he would take up the entire basement and just Zoom with strangers. Zoom with strangers? What? Just Zooming me for no reason. No, it was funny. Strangers?

No, remember when you would just chug beers with strangers? Oh, yeah. I loved doing that. That was funny. People would go on Zoom and hang out with their friends. I'm dying of COVID. I just need Dana to chug a beer for me over Zoom. This was at a time where I didn't know. That was funny. A lot of people would go on Zoom and hang out with their friends. I'm dying of COVID. I just need Dana to chuck a beer for me over Zoom. This was at a time where I didn't know.

This was right after. That was after you brought COVID to Nashville. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. You single-handedly brought COVID to Nashville. How do I revive this? That shit was funny. So wait, wait, wait. Can I tell the real story?

Yes. First of all, you moved in with him for COVID? Okay, so it was May of, April of 2020, and my lease was up in May, and then we, remember that beer pong tournament we did with Morgan Wall? Yeah, still. Elite Eight. No, the one with Barstool. Yeah, the Elite Eight still have it. The Mike Studd

one. Oh, that one, got it. So me and Marty were playing it against Morgan Wall and Hardy, and the first time I left my apartment was to go to Marty's, and I just never left. Because we're all shut down? No, it's like this is way I left my apartment was to go to Marty's, and I just never left. Because the world shut down? No, it's like, this is way better than my apartment. I had to back y'all in a pool.

He's like, fuck it, I'm staying in. So the only time I went back to my apartment was to move out and grab all my shit and go to his house. Wait, how did you have enough clothes for the initial? I brought a suitcase for a couple days, and then I just stayed forever. I went back, got all my shit, and then months go by. And you were still paying rent, or it was over? No, it was done in May. Okay, got it.

Months go by. The place, you know, it was three dudes. It was me, him, and his brother just pigging out, being gross. Yeah, that's awesome. So when his parents were home, what they were used to was a nice, pristine house. But it wasn't just me. It was all of us. We kind of left the wrappers laying around.

What are you doing? Are you calling your dad? Get the fuck out of here. This is bullshit. No, this is a setup. You know you're fucked now. You know you're fucked now. Yeah.

You could be faking it. You could be faking it. You already showed your hands. But they didn't sell the house because of me. I need them to fucking handle it. But it could easily be like, well, we were on the fence, and then we came home to this Dana match, so let's just get rid of this fucking place. But then I'm like, Marty, you've got to move out of Long Island.

Let's go close to the office, and I brought them with me to Jersey, and the rest was history. Yeah, no, but seriously, a lot of Long Island people just don't leave until they get married. I mean, so you will stay in your mom's house until you get married? I mean, I don't really know. It's really more my current scenario. There's no reason for you to move anywhere right now. I travel constantly. There is no reason for me to be home.

I save a lot of money. I travel constantly. And trust me, I'm having fun. I'm not like... That's a nice little... Like if you were not traveling I still think but I am I don't I think I would maybe I would maybe move to the city but I really don't give a long I don't want I was gonna say I also feel you're not a city guy you

would move out but the city's kind of growing up he got his first glimpse of the west village yeah so many hot girls he's like oh my god I feel like I'm in South Beach I feel like people who Who live in Queens Or they stay on Long Island or whatever Will do anything to talk down the city It's this it's that It's not that good it's not this fun And then you get there and it's like

Think about this though There's a reason the city is on all the best city lists in the world I am still yet to really have A great, great time going out in Manhattan. What is that? Little sister. We go out all the time together. We haven't been out together in months. We literally just went out Friday.

That wasn't really going out. That was like Rico the other day saying, I have not said that in five years. I'm saying the times I have at bars throughout the country, I have not had a time in New York City like that. But one... Oh, one sec. I mean, now that's also... Delray Beach bars. Hey, Dad.

You're on KFC Radio. One sec. I put you on speaker. It might be hard to hear, but... Real quick. What was the reason... What was the last straw why you sold our childhood home?

Why? Because you're slobs. Who was a big slob? Nick. Who'd you say? Actually Dana. That's what he's doing. You and your bald son are sending me up.

Thank you, Dad. You and your bald son are sending me up. You said he's in there. Not sure if you wiped your Sunday. Thank you, Dad. You're a bald son of Sunday. Check me out. You didn't know. Not sure if you wiped your ass. Thank you, Dad. That was fun. That was fun. You had no shot.

You had no shot. Who was your brother? Actually, it was Dana. Actually, the thing with Glenn, I actually talked to Meek Phil about this because he's like, because he still lives at home. Oh, Meek Phil's going to live at home. Yeah, but he's like, he couldn't understand why he would ever move out.

He goes, my mom makes my dinner. My laundry. My laundry. I have a lot of money in my savings. Well, he doesn't have a savings account, which that's a problem. But he's like,

I have a lot, yeah. What is he, an illegal immigrant? Well, he went to, I'm not going to say the number. One time we were- Hey, you got a savings account? I do now. I mean, there's nothing in there.

When did you start just now, start with a savings account? One day we were walking, and I was like, I've got to put this in my savings. He goes, I've got to get one of those. It was so funny. Imagine we found out from this that Meek is an illegal immigrant. Now, that's a good – He, like, snuck in from, like, Iceland or something. Now that's a good thought. He like snuck in from like Iceland or something. Actually, I'm Ecuadorian.

I'd probably stay at home. Dude, staying at home is the best. I mean, I'm joking. If I had the option, I'd stay at my mom's. The people that put it down are just jealous they can't do it. I also think it's people who like don't like their parents. Well, no, I don't think that's completely true. I don't mind my parents at all.

My friends are all in Long Island. I save a bunch of money. I chill. It's fucking awesome. And I travel constantly. It's also nice to have your own spot. I don't think that's completely true. I don't mind my parents at all. My friends are all in Long Island. I save a bunch of money. It's fucking awesome. And I travel constantly. It's also nice to have your own spot. It's so nice to have your own spot. And if you're like Tommy and you slay as much pussy as he does. For me, I lived at home for a year after college.

I feel like I just got to start my life. The commute is annoying. I hate the fucking Long Island Railroad. And it's like being able to be home 15 minutes after work is like awesome. I did the same thing. I do think now if I wasn't living the lifestyle I do, I would consider moving to the city. But I literally travel constantly. Yeah, I know.

There's no reason to pay rent. There is zero reason to pay rent. What is she, Mamoni? Mamoni's, yeah. What does your mom do? She cuts up the watermelon for you? No. I buy them at Cross Island Fruits.

They cut them up for me. I thought that was something. Right, pal? Yeah. For me, that was almost like the blueprint was you stay home for one year. Save a little money. Save money, and then you go. Just do, yeah.

I don't know. Just living. I've always been, since I was a kid, I was like, oh, living in the city. That's what you do when you're an adult. Try to make your life as close to friends as possible. I go home all the time and spend a long amount. I was just home for five days. Being at home at your parents' house is fucking...

Dude, I went home during college. I would go home almost every Sunday for a meal with my parents. I mean, I was in the Bronx. Yeah, you were close. But I did miss like I come back and I realized that a lot of shit was going on. And I was like, oh, I should have been there for this and that. But I was also like I came home with clean laundry,

good food, all that shit. And frankly, just traveling is the best. I just love traveling. Even weeks of not traveling work, I just try to travel for a weekend. Did you always have that like bug in you? It's just amazing to do. Like if there's something fun happening

within a 300 mile radius or a short flight, and it's a weekend, I'll go. Really? You do. Even at work, you do. You always go. Yeah, I mean, if something's happening. But you also know somebody in every city that helps you.

We get to make sure travel is easy. It's also different when it's like, if I'm going out with my friends, and you're like, I'm going to be on stage with fucking Morgan Wallen. We're lucky enough to be in a position where we get to do a lot of cool things and I think it's worth it to take advantage of because God knows

it's probably not going to last for a while that's why I'm saying you should write the book because at the end of the day Glennie Balls left it all on the field I think that's very fair

there's a lot of people who blew it at Barstool there's a lot of people who like you know could have done more at Barstool there's a lot of people

who took advantage of it and then there's a lot of people who like recognize it and go every single time. Like two weeks ago, Ernest and Morgan were at Citizens Bank Park. That's in Philadelphia. It's an hour and a half away. Why would I not go?

Just first name basis with the boy Morgan. Why would I not go? He stole my friend. Yeah. Oh, you and Morgan connect? What I'm saying is, why would I not go? It's two hours away. Right.

Or I could sit home and go to the bars at home. There's no reason to just not do fun things. Yeah. No, that's – See, me and Feidelberg have a – There's no reason to not do fun things. If you could do them. Yeah.

That doesn't flow as well. That's too many words. No, there are plenty of people who it's like it's not an option to go hang out with Morgan Wallen. But – If you're going to do like fun, cool things, just do it. Yeah. No, me and Feidelberg have like a yin and yang thing going on where I'm always like i'd rather just chill i don't want to do deal the whole hassle and he's like yo we got invited to go to a fucking party in austin with like all the comedians we're going

like all right yeah exactly and when you're there you're like why didn't we but then when we get there john doesn't want to talk to anybody in like networking and i go do all the fucking talking so it's like a good balance as well it's like either it in disaster, and that's fun because then you get a good story, or it ends up being an awesome time. Either way, you get a good story out of it. But really, how could it end in disaster? Well, like we had the disaster of a trip, like logistically. Yeah.

Like we always fuck shit up like that. It's always like the stuff always ends up being fun. So do you think you'll stay until you're married i don't know about till i'm married until you're gonna get married glennie um that's if i find a queen that i love oh the queen shit she said you'll never you'll never you're like once you find your wife you'll never go out again oh yeah i very much agree with that oh yeah no reason to go out to try to get late you actually like The thing is You actually like

Hang on Hang on I can see Tommy being Like addicted to pussy I can have I can have a fun time Once he got a taste of it Once he went from

Alarmingly stupid To Tommy smokes No but like It's on or off Like I'll have modes Where it's like Tonight not even Like I'll go through

Science like I'm not even trying Science like Just have a good time But I mean If we're going out Most of the time We're going to be

Trying to get some plus Yeah No I mean Like I always going out most of the time we're gonna be trying to get some plus Like I always say if I when I finally find my wife like I'm gonna be so obsessed there I don't want to go out, but Some people don't like some people it's like it's not fun unless they're trying to fuck somebody But the motive would be less. Yeah. To go out.

I don't think... The motivation to go out. Well, you also don't know the other side. Yeah, it's true. Wait, can I... It's like going out. I don't want to be that guy

that's with like a couple and then never go out anymore. No, no. No, you don't want to be the one that's always out. So I'm going to have to go out just to not be that guy, but like at the end of the day,

it's like... But then again, if you're queen... No, but you know the guy which is somewhere else. I'll go to like restaurants and shit. I'm not going to a club till 4 a.m no that's stupid we literally just did that last friday because i'm saying i was there with ria yeah i know well you guys have that bug i don't have that bug it's just fun when you yeah yeah but no picture this but i guess if i liked the girl yeah well you love the girl let's say nice let's say me and

you were going maria's in la doing some. doing some Chicks in the Office live show. And me and Tom are going out. We're like, hey, Marty, come out with us. We're going to go party. You'd say no. He would say no. No, I went out with you. You're here to talk.

Also, yeah, get the fuck out of here. You just fucking threw a grenade down your own ass. Yeah, get out of here. Marty went out without Maria. I went out without. But they did go to the club, and I was like, I'm getting out of here. And that's fair. Which I actually think it would be weird if I stayed out till 5am just with like.

Well, then it does become weird when it's, you know. Yeah. You're the only guy with a girlfriend, but she's not there. Yeah. And it's like, I don't need to be here. You are bringing down. 5am. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, I got, we were talking about chasing pussy. I just got, I remember a great great chasing pussy story from this weekend. Let's hear it. This is great for viewers. I don't know where to sit. I'm just going to, like, all right, whatever. So, anyway.

You want to come between me and you? Lay on Glennie's lap. So, my grandfather died. This is the sixth time I've heard a laugh about this. It's happened. So, as all great chasing pussy stories begin. We're at the wake. This really, really old guy comes up to me.

He says, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I said, thank you very much. He's a great man. Yeah, he's a good guy. He says, now I got to ask, where's your grandmother? Get the fuck out of here. And I said, buddy, I got bad news for you. You came to a double wake tonight because she died 10 years ago.

And he goes, no. Wait, who was this guy? Honestly, I do know his name. I'm not going to say it. And he's like, Sheila's dead. I was like, bro, have you been waiting 10 years for my fucking grandmother? She's gone. Gone, gone, gone.

You missed the boat, dog. The way he said it, dude. But wait, I mean. His face broke. He's like, no. Like, he's just been like. That's the only reason he's alive. That dude died today.

Yeah. He's like, I got no reason to be here. That's when Joe Paterno stopped coaching football. The only will to live was to fuck Sheila. No. Bro. I honestly think he started crying I was like bro It can't be that big a deal

She's been dead 10 years Now wait As you know Ridiculous as that is How grimy to show up At the funeral I mean that's literally Wedding crashes

He crashed the funeral Wedding crashes Getting excited Before he's like Big wake tomorrow And I gotta get Doing fucking push-ups. He had his feet on one of those little things that just move while you sit on the rug.

I got to get in shape for Sheila. It's pussy huns season. She's coming to snatch her up. Jeezy huns funeral. Take her to the early bird special. Yo, your grandfather had a fucking display, dog. What do you mean? Whatever that thing was. Oh, yeah. It showed up.

I was like, I didn't know Papa Joe was black. I saw the picture. It was this casket and then like this other casket, like a second casket. Was she in the second casket? Yeah, that was like short of a huge...

It looked like it was airbrushed and stuff. It looked like a black guy gets to the mall. Guys, these girls are looking at the 18 packs of eggs like, what the fuck is going on in this garbage can right now? I ain't no other art! This pack of garbage eggs. Dude, the other thing that was funny that happened when my grandfather passed is, my name is John Henry for people who don't know,

and the local paper did an article on him and they talked about his brother with Down syndrome and they got it wrong and they said John Henry. They were writing that up like who's the retarded one?

It's John, right? We know it's John. Like just in the paper like and he had a brother with Down syndrome, John Henry. His name was John David. God damn it.

They saw one video. It's always puking in the trash right dude there was a picture of john david at the funeral i gotta find it is it safe to assume he's long gone yeah yeah yeah he he's the guy i've told the story before i went to visit him when i was like 13 and the doctor just grabbed me and he's like, hey, you know, no one with your uncle's conditions ever died of AIDS. I was like, what? Okay, thank you. I guess that's good. But what was I just going to say?

Oh, the picture? Dude, it's John David, who's just an old man with Down syndrome, in this big, long trench coat in a library. And it's an old picture, so it's got a real Columbo vibe. And he's got a dog next to him. And the picture looked exactly like some sitcom where there's a detective with Down syndrome and he's got a talking dog partner and they solve everything. I kept going because it was on, like, you know, at Awake they have, like, the carousel of pictures. Yeah.

They, like, play on the TVs, and I kept being like, someone pause it! Someone pause it! It was so funny, dude. The scooter was awesome. The other guy's yelling at the pause on pictures of Sheila. Pause that real quick. I gotta save that one. This show is Say Hi to Cannes Social Tonics.

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20% off when you use code KFC at drinkcannes.com. Cannes is not for use or purchase by persons under the age of 21. Cannes products contain less than 0.3% Delta 9 THC that is derived from hemp. Do not claim to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease and have not been approved for by the FDA. Glennie, when it's Barstool wedding season, are you going to – I mean, I feel like we have a few coming up. Yeah. I feel like you'll probably be invited to. If we're talking Barstow Weddings, nobody's going to more than me.

You think you got the most? Okay, let's... He's not going to Hubs. No, I think I am going to Hubs. Have you been to Frankie and Marina's? Well, I'm going to Fran's. Hey, that's a touchy subject. Yeah, you get Fran's.

Did you go to the Milwaukee Bucks game? I'm going to career. Because this guy did. I think I won't be. I think I'll only be Marty and Data. And I'm shocked I was Data's. I thought I wasn't getting invited. What are you talking about, dude?

Last week, we were hanging out Friday night. And everyone was like, oh, everyone got our address. I didn't get my S for address yet. I was waiting for the cool down period. I didn't get my S down address yet. Wait, wait. Cool down period, what do you mean? It's always something with this guy.

It's always something. So you need to let the dust settle before you could get. Yeah, he's always something so you need to let the dust settle before you could get yeah he's always been invited to my wedding I thought I was out no you're always out

so you were sitting there being like he has not asked for my address Friday night everyone was saying oh he asked for address he hasn't asked me I might be out

because that's how you know buddy when anybody asks you for your address oh yeah my apartment yeah Maria was like oh he definitely has your address

so why the fuck would he have my address I was just letting the dust fuck would he have my address? I was just letting the dust settle. I hope that he, I wish he didn't invite me because

it would be so much fun to make fun of him. Does everybody know this? I don't know. It's like fake beef.

With you two or, okay. I bring balls on a lot of trips, right? Can I just preface this real quick? Before we started, Danny goes, don't

say anything about me and Glennon. Let's stop it. I said, you don't say anything. And he just did it anything about me and Glenn. Let's stop it. I said, you don't say anything. And he just did it again. It's incredible. Let's stop it.

Let's stop it. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. It's really nothing serious. It's nothing serious. It's nothing serious at all. It's nothing serious. It's like joke beef.

It's hard to explain. Glenn, you know the thing, though? Just, come on. Now you can't do it to the viewers now. No, no. I feel where he is At this point you have to say it We're good

Well then make up a story You'll both It's both understandable Long story short No we're good We're good We're good We're good

This is crazy We've been talking for five minutes now I don't even want to know And now I have to know Tell the story Do you want me to give him The extreme spark notes You can give him the Give him the extreme spark notes? You can give him the, yeah.

Give him the extreme spark notes. There's nothing bad. It's just I'd rather not talk about it. The extreme spark notes is, can I say the extreme spark notes? Sure. As a couples counselor, when people keep going, it's nothing bad. It won't tell a story. It feels like it's a glitch.

So we went to Austin a few weeks ago for his bachelor party series. Coincidentally, there were some OnlyFans queens that lived in Austin. I had them on OnlyStands with Eddie in a hot tub in our Airbnb. And we invited them on the boat with us next time. So you're bringing the hot bitches along. And we invited them on the boat with us next time. I had a feeling that's where it's going. And yeah, I can understand. You're the Mamoni friend who

is living at home with mom and has a bunch of hot bitches. No, not that. The thing with Glennie is I love hanging out with Glennie. And he also brought us to Shane Gillis. He brought us to the best barbecue places. He brought us on the boat. So I don't have a problem with Glennie at all.

No? I'm an engaged man. I love planning. Planning's my favorite thing. Bad optics sometimes. Yeah, no, I get it. I love planning. We had a great weekend.

So right now, we're doing contract negotiations. I'm trying for future videos. The ears are saying I may be able to come back to Tampa, but now I'm saying to myself, should I just, if he's banning me, I might ban myself. Yeah, yeah. You think I need go to Tampa?

You think I need beers to have fun in a place? No. I'm using you now. I don't know. I'm not using you. How about I just go to Tampa and I hang out with my friends in Tampa? How about that?

I love hanging out with you balls. Because I got friends in Tampa. I could go hang out with them in Tampa. We live wildly different lifestyles. So sometimes it's bad optics. That's all. Beers, beers, beers. When is D-Day for you? D-Day? Damn.

May 30th of next year. So that's coming up. And what about you? Mine's April next year. Oh, so you both have a long time. Those are long engagements. I'm in hits. He's not in yours? I'm only doing one.

Yeah. I like that. Yeah, you either got to do one or like... I said to him, I was in... What is that? His will be my 15th wedding. Oh, my God. I'm at 14 weddings right now.

No, I'm in. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Yeah. Ooh. That's like you got too many friends. So stupid. When you count that...

Stop being such a good guy. Are you counting like childhood? Are many friends so stupid when you have a good guy Are you counting like childhood or you are you counting like 14 when you do in childhood? He's saying he's been a bachelor. I mean I mean oh yeah you I've been to 14 what are you counting like when you were like? Five like a family wedding I've been there. Yeah, it was the fucking ring bearer, bro So here's one thing I want to soft launch considering we're talking about weddings let's go considering we're discussing weddings they both told me no but maybe if we get the people to agree i think i should be able to officiate him and maria's wedding i think that would be amazing you brought them together but i also i already said you know

the car you don't write on the car just you're welcome that's it so you're well because you hired you got her i got her hired And I also became friends with you And I was the link between you guys And you just started hanging out So I'm like I'm your Joey And you're Monica and Chandler I would say that

That is very cute And you do have a good story But they also have every right To just get Like a regular person That's true I also do have a Because I could also understand

You know You don't want to make it A big funny thing Or a personal spectacle But you do have a very cute story Would you say some nice things up there? I actually think Glenn would do something nice. Yeah, no, I think he would be very –

No, I'm all class. I'd be very nice at it. Yeah. But we're also getting like – I have my cousins. We're also getting the Pope. My cousins are pretty sick. He's doing this.

He kind of gets – He does every one of my family's. I can't be the only one. You're doing church and everything? Yeah, yeah. I'm the Joey to your Monica and Chandler, and I want to be treated as such. That's fair. Maybe you can give a speech.

No, I already did one. I did my first speech in November, and I wasn't good. I'm no more speeches. Really? People said I did good, but I don't think I'd be good. I didn't know you didn't do well. Well, everyone. My mom said I did good.

Well. Everyone said I did good. But wait, why would you be so excited to be the officiant if you didn't think you did well with the speech? Because I feel like there's more pressure with the officiant. Being the officiant is kind of cool. I don't know. It's a cool thing. I think there's a lot of pressure with the officiant.

Oh, I think it's way more. No, you just kind of like read the stories. No, but you still have to. We come here to share the special day of Matt and Maria. There you go. There you go. What else could you do? Today we form their holy matrimony

in loving presence with God. I can't have that on my biggest day of my life. I can't have that. He's got two only fans.

I was going to imitate one of the big brothers at Kellenberg right there. You're such a character that even if you were just being regular and heartfelt,

people would be laughing and getting mad. It's Glennie and Marty. It's Marty and Glennie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.y and glenny yeah yeah i got a wedding this summer i'm not looking forward to it i'm very nervous i know no i said yes but i'm just very nervous about it yeah that's that's a lot of pressure officiating yeah so the first one first one first one like most people get the bunch well it's just like if you're being asked to get officiated i feel like you must have a track record no like you're're ordained and shit?

No, I have to go do all that stuff. That's crazy to just ask someone who's not ordained, like, can you officiate? Yeah, that's a real hassle. People do that a lot, right? Like, have your friends, like, my best friend's doing it. He's not ordained. Yeah, it's like they're not doing wedding parties either. Gotcha.

They want me to say something at it. I did a drunk one. I don't think it's like a big thing. Yeah, I'm not too nervous about it. Gotcha. They want me to say something at it. I did a drunk one. I don't think it's like a big thing. Yeah, I'm not too nervous about it. I'm nervous about the speech. I'm not too nervous about getting my whatever the fuck I have to get. And so you got to do the whole vows and all that shit. Are you talking through that?

Yeah. Dana and Marty, are either of you guys doing vows at the altar? No. I love when they do vows at the altar. Like written vows? Yeah. Like, I love you love you oh that's great that gets me going we'll be doing that sexually like emotionally it's like nice

if you do it right you can do it right but just there's there's a huge huge risk because the ones i've been to i haven't even seen them do vows at weddings recently because my friends have gotten married you know what do you still write them anymore now like did you just give them in private what's that they don't the eulogies are not part of uh a funeral anymore you gotta get i thought you were about to talk about a wedding no you're way you gotta get special permission in the church yeah wait that's my cousin is to give one yeah you have to ask the church to do a youulogy. Like someone else go up there? Like you're saying your grandpa maybe? It's because I guess in our age of we don't take things seriously anymore, people have just been saying crazy stuff from the altar.

And so what they have done with some churches. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so what churches have been doing Is they officially end the mass And then someone can give a eulogy Oh okay But they will let you go up there Yeah I feel like a lot of eulogies happen at the wake now too

Really? I haven't been to one I had one a year ago Let me tell you One thing When I die If we could film this video up whenever it happens, I do not want the priest to give a eulogy.

How would you die? We're not getting into this. Oh, I'm getting rickety shot. What? Like with a bullet? No, I'm saying like an actual one. That's all. Like a straight bullet?

I've always thought I'm going down in a house of mirrors. I also think I'm going to live to crazy. I'm going to live to like I'm 110. I can see that. I know. It's to like I'm 110. I can see that. I know. It's just like you being weird, like weirdly good at sports and shit. What is this house of mirrors?

I just got a feeling. How would you die in a house of mirrors? I don't know. Murderer? Murderer? Bang into a wall, get a head thing. Like skyscraper at the end of that.

Oh my god, we went into a wall. Everyone gets that reference. I know, I can't. I kind of want to go again this time. That was really fun too, yeah.

Did you guys do bachelor parties? Not yet. What are you doing? Are you looking at me? No. I don't think you're looking at me. That was really fun, too. Did you guys do bachelor parties? Not yet. What are you doing? Are you looking at me? No. I don't think you're looking at me. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know yet.

I want to play golf, and I want to have a big-ass Airbnb. You're finding out where you're going. Yeah, that's the series. It's actually been a lot of fun so far. No, the series of going to different bachelor parties. People give me shit it's sponsored. Get the fuck out of my face. Who's leading so far in the clubhouse? Charleston.

I wish I could have been there. What about you? What's leading you to the clubhouse? So let me just get this straight though. There was a little bit of trouble in Paradise when you went out and partied and now you're going to do a bachelor party series? No, it was on the bachelor party series.

That's where Paradise started. On the series. Glennie where the Paradise started. And on the series. Glennie went with him to Austin for the bachelor party. He's on like series number five. I mean, the series is

not, it's literally like me and Eddie went to a minor league game and played golf the other day. Like, that's what the series does. We're going to the

Ozarks next week. Strip clubs, hookers, every fucking heroin poppy. Fucking Glennie's coming. I'm not coming. I'll maybe come to Tampa. I'll maybe give you Tampa.

You like Tampa, that's why. I love Tampa. I literally said like, I truly do want to stay bad, but I love Tampa so much I may just go to Tampa. Tampa, St. Pete? Woo! I recently went there. Let me tell you, my top two places I want to live, I always say Nashville, Delray Beach. St. Pete's on that list. St. Pete.

Delray's great. Tampa is per pressure hometown. He always says it lives up to the hype. always say Nashville, Delray Beach, St. Pete's on that list. St. Pete. Delray's great. Tampa is percursion. Congrats. He always says it lives up to the hype. Kaylee, if you're watching, Glennie Balls is sorry. Kaylee,

Kaylee, Kaylee, Kaylee, if you're watching this, I'm really, really sorry. It was poor judgment by me. He's rolling the fuck out of his eyes. It was poor judgment.

I'll never do it again. Tampa, maybe we'll only get a boat on Sunday. We'll go to Beer Can Island. Tampa, they don't have any strip clubs. A boat with the boys. A boat with the boys. They have really strict rules in strip clubs, right? They got Beer Can Island in Tampa, too.

It's an awesome island. What's that? It's an island that's actually on sale right now, $15 million. You take it out in the middle of it, it's amazing. They got a good night's job down there. They got a welcome to the farm. That's in St. Pete. This is why he's great at it, see? They got everything. Tampa's a wonderful it. It's amazing. They got a goodnight John Boy down there. They got a welcome to the farm. That's in St. Pete. This is why he's great at it.

See? They got everything. Tampa's a wonderful city. Tampa's St. Pete. I heard a little story that you left Travis Kelsey on red. I didn't leave him on red. Well, did you reply to his text? It was like three years ago.

Right. But he texted you and you just didn't reply. We were together in Lake Tahoe. We were partying a little bit in Lake Tahoe at that celebrity golf tournament. Right. We exchanged numbers. Then I was like, oh, can I send you some balls of beachwear? Sure.

I'll read the text right now. It's like a crazy text. It's a fucking shower. So gross. Did you get egg on you? I got so much egg on me. Yeah. I love that smell.

I just texted him the next day. Glenn, great time last night. I'll be sure we'll be arriving in the coming weeks because he sent me the address. I sent it to you, like the chief's address send me two prayer emojis glad what an evening brother appreciate you keep killing a man i'll be rocking the duck out of those shirts and i sent him the designs he said i said you're like a goddamn stud he said got some flavors lfg and i didn't respond all right so you had enough of a back and forth i thought i thought there was a like you know come out to the club or like let's do something

i would say no to going out to the club with tra Kelsey that's how it was posed to me so I was like oh you know because I'm like obviously Travis Kelsey's is in a different even two years ago is the man I'm yeah dorky men in Lake Tahoe yeah I we just feel weird texting him like that I'm gonna annoy him yeah yeah I get that I hear that but but he was yeah but I can now say I left Taylor's boyfriend on read I know when I heard this story people like were like, oh, fucking, you've got to be kidding me. I was like, no, no, no, it's better to be able to say, yeah, I big-timed him. I definitely did not big-time him.

No, of course. What's the ideal response to that? Yeah, yeah. You had a good, average, sneak change. You did boom, boom, boom. Oh, yeah, hell yeah, they're awesome. I think we just leave it there. It's got to be funny, though, when you do make the jump where it's like, all right, I'll never talk to anybody like that again.

Chelsea? Yeah, just like once you start dating Taylor, it's like, alright, I'll never talk to anybody like that again. Kelsey? Yeah. Just like once you start dating Taylor, it's like, okay, well. If I texted him right now, he obviously texted me. I'm not texting Travis Kelsey. Say you want to go to Tampa? You should. Send a picture of the boys. We'll send a picture. Congrats. Wish you were here. Congrats on all your success.

I'm not texting Travis Kelsey right now. Ask him to do my series. Not texting Travis Kelsey. Come Ask him to do my series. No. Not texting Travis Buster. Come on. Do Marty versus you. John, I know that you are the HelloFresh guy. Yes, sir. I don't know about that anymore, though.

I might be snatching the crown because they are offering free dessert for life. And that's where you know your boy. You want to go toe-to-toe with me with a dessert, too? Oh, I do. I think I cannot go toe-to-toe with you with eating food. I could go toe-to-toe with me with a dessert, too? Oh, I do. I think I cannot go toe-to-toe with you with eating food. I could go toe-to-toe with you eating desserts. You do have a fair shake. I think I come out the victor.

Yeah, I mean, it would be silly for me to really challenge the crown, but it would be a far better performance than it would eating real meal food. Yeah, yeah. But what the deal is right now is if you go to hellofresh.com slash kfc suite you will get one free dessert per box for the rest of your life as long as you're signed up and that so we already know we're getting the the high quality meals with hello fresh you're gonna get uh your what your pork tacos Pork tacos Just pork filet, pork cutlet Chicken cutlets

Steaks It's a fish, salmon They got everything, it's all delicious All of it comes in a box with the dry ice So everything stays fresh And it comes with all the ingredients pre-portioned Pre-packaged with the recipe cards So you don't have to know how to cook

You don't have to know what the spices are What to do. It's a little bingo, bango, bongo. Cook it in 20 minutes. Maybe you pick up some skills along the way about how to rattle those pots and pans in the kitchen, earn yourself a little skill. And you can have home-cooked meals every day, all week long, courtesy of HelloFresh. And you get that free dessert for life. So it's HelloFresh.com slash KFCSweet, and get one dessert in your box for free for the rest of your life as long as you're signed up. That's HelloFresh.com slash KFCSweet. I'm too scared to do that.

You got anything lined up for that? I have fry moves next week. I do think you officially ended Trevor Bauer's career. Yeah, no, it's bad. Because there was kind of some rumblings of like, I think a team's going to take a chance on him. And then you smoked him. Yeah, no, that was a wild time.

That was very viral without Barstool. Yeah, I'm sure. Because Barstool didn't tweet it. No surprise there. It was like, yeah, that was wild. Drives me nuts. That shit drives me nuts. I just let it.

This point. No, it's like, hey, that was wild. Drives me nuts. That shit drives me nuts. I just let it. This point. No, it's like, hey, I know what you're doing. It's fine, but don't think you're pulling the wool over my eyes. Right. I just want people to know that I know. I know what's going on, but it's okay. I don't want people to walk away going, like, Marty doesn't even realize we didn't tweet it.

But, yeah, I mean, if you told me that there was a Barstool series where one of the guys faces Major League Pitching and gets hits and it was not supported. We'll see. You know, I'm facing NFL guys next. With what? Like what? One-on-one V1 routes.

Okay. So you're going to guard Brad Friermuth? Yeah, Friermuth. And then, like, I think I'm supposed to have Tua and do, like, accuracy against him, but we'll see if that actually happens. I've said to you many times now I will not bet against you ever again. I might bet against you on that one. But I might learn my lesson again.

You never know with Marty. Marty's one of those guys. Daniel was like, I don't know what's going on with you. I don't really see blocking one pass from Brian Ruth, though. Me getting a shot? don't think so? No chance. No. Like, zero chance. We'll see. Like, you played baseball. You didn't play quarterback. Bro, I mean, we literally did...

Yeah, okay, that's true. That is true. But we did say this about no shot you're going to even make contact, and he did it. Yeah, I know. That's what people keep saying. That's such a different... NFL tight end is just... He's bigger, stronger, faster. Maybe there's more, though.

What if I just guess right and undercut him? Yeah, just jump the route. It's like there is luck involved. I don't know. Are you considering it a win if you go watch one pass? I would say yeah. Supposedly I'm facing this one guy, too, in tennis who 140 miles. That I actually don't know if I'll be able to see.

That kind of luck too, though, if he hits it relatively near you. Right. Maybe. Who's your dream get? Travis Kelsey. Throw him a pick. I'm not texting Travis Kelsey. Can you get me a football player?

Can you text one guy for me right now? Be like, yo, Travis, you go against me and my point party. And then he sings with Taylor. We'll have like a sing-off. Taylor would probably do it. Who? Kittle? be like yo Travis you go against me and my boy Marty and then like and then he sings with Taylor we'll have like a sing-off Kittle would probably do it who? Kittle

Kittle he said he wasn't in Nashville when I was there definitely it's wild how far we've come where it's just like yeah this all pro

will do it this all pro will do it it's crazy we all look very much like assholes talking about it what celebrity

can you text? I feel like everybody is struggling to sit like this, so let's wrap it up. Can I ask one quick question? Yeah, of course. You guys know this better than me. Why don't we just do it on a table? Because it hurts so much. It's way more funnier than doing this.

It's going to look way funnier. It hurts so much. It sucks for us, but it's going to look funnier this way. Yeah. So we'll give you guys all the space. Yeah. Listen, you don't challenge Paz. No, I know. There's one thing we know about Paz.

He can do that. We should have done it around the rock. You all switched in the rock. The rock could have been funny too. Everybody got to sit down. Glennie's literally massaging his quads right now like, I'm dying. Dream guest on Out of Order? To do, like, an Out of Order with. Ooh, that's a good question Or like you know how like Larry

Last season did The Full House girl Who like Who was the Full House Aunt Becky Who did Oh yes yes yes Like how they kind of did

Like a sketch about her Being like Cheating her way through things Or like bribing people Who would be like Yours you think That's a very good question So you're not only

picking the person you're also you're almost picking the story or if it's just a person you have to do a story too the remember when they did the story with michael richards that's crazy yeah that's the best way though that's the best way to like when you're in the shit that's the best way to do it yeah but like that would just that was – That was bad. That one, there's no redemption. No, there's no redemption. That one, have you seen the clip? It kind of went viral like semi-recently where they had him on The Tonight Show. They had him on Letterman.

No. And Jerry's the guest and they like zoomed him in. They did like one of those. Wait, how recently are we talking? Like right after it. It was like 10 days after. And Michael Richards was like – Like the audience started to laugh and Jerry's like, stop it.

Like, stop, stop. This is serious. And Michael's like, yeah, this is really, really serious. And it was like super awkward. It's like, I think Jerry probably like wanted it, you know, and they should not have done it. Really?

They should not have done it. Or maybe they should have because it didn't, you know, whatever. Who fucking knows? But yeah, that's a good question. What would it be? I don't know. It's definitely.

So my answer, my honest answer would it be I don't know it's definitely so my answer my honest answer would probably be like a comedian like I think Shane Gillis or something I think like I think we've seen yeah

Louis C.K. I agree if you had Louis do an episode about his stuff that would be pretty much as good as it gets but I think we've seen

with like SNL like it's so much better this year when they have comedians on. I watched one with Gyllenhaal. Oh, so you don't want an actor, you mean? Like, the two best episodes of SNL this year were Bargatze and Shane.

I bet Robert Downey Jr. would be good in one. Did you watch the last one? Gyllenhaal, I think it was? No. Oh my god, it was so bad. I think you're right. I think a comedian. Because these guys, they will not make themselves look goofy or anything.

They have to look cool. That's a little funny. But we had the. You know what would be good? A Ben Affleck skit. Making fun of how hard J-Lo is. That would be great. Him just being like, fuck.

We had an idea for a sketch that we didn't end up doing because I was away this weekend. But that one, it was a Scotty Scheffler. We had an idea for a sketch that we didn't end up doing Because I was away this weekend But the That one It was a Scotty Scheffler But the cop It's kind of a redemption story And then the cop Catches someone parallel parking Thinks he has a weapon

Shoots and kills him And the camera pans And it's a black man in a red shirt And black pants on the ground And it's Tiger And he's just like I just don't know golfers So getting Tiger for that would be pretty sick on the ground and it was Tiger. And he's just like, I just don't know golfers.

Fuck. So getting Tiger for that would be pretty sick. Yeah, Tiger might be the one. But that's also obviously very recency biased. Paz, what do you think? Huh? What about it?

No, who would be your dream? Yeah. All right, boys. Great little picnic. Appreciate it. I know your back's hurting. Glenn, your mine is too. No, it's all right.

I'm oddly. It took me a while to find the spot, but I'm pretty good now. I've had to pee for 45 minutes. You guys are going to leave. I'm staying. All right. Field day. KFC Radio.

Wrap it up. All right. Thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, and leave a comment below. Click that button. Or I'll cut off my finger.