KFC Radio - Dean Norris & Disney Adults

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Ladies and gentlemen, I now introduce to you the greatest show of all time. I don't have to do a fucking thing. It's my podcast. Are you ready for the show? My podcast! What's up you mutts? Welcome to KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. And I just can't believe how people don't believe in the Mets this year.

Starting point is 00:00:50 It's fucking crazy. It's crazy. I don't get it. They're a good team. I don't know how I was going to start this. That was an homage to Kevin. Kevin's on vacation today or this week. I do think the Mets are good.

Starting point is 00:01:05 You're going to get a little taste of what KFC radio would be like without Kevin. There's a lot of just, I don't know, me going, I don't know. I'm just going to be sitting here agreeing with you like, yeah, alright. I don't know what the fuck you want me to talk about. I don't know why you listen to this show. I got literally nothing. I have absolutely

Starting point is 00:01:21 nothing. Luckily, we recorded before Kevin left, so there is plenty of Kevin on this show. He's just not here to do the intro to it. But we have two producers here who both had stupid things that happened recently, so I'm just going to ask them about it and make them talk. Jackie, let's hear from you first. Why does your roommate like to get the shit kicked out of her while having sex? For those who don't know, Jackie had a tweet that said, I can tell your Turkish roommate is a 30-year-old woman, right?

Starting point is 00:01:58 Yeah, which people like bonked me for it, but it wasn't me that was. No, she was bonking. She was bonking. Yeah, she, you tweeted that I can tell of my lovers, I believe was the word you used. Boy toys. Boy toys, okay. Also not mine. Which of my roommate's boy toys are here, based on the sounds they're making during sex. This one's big into slapping.

Starting point is 00:02:16 Which makes me think it was his idea, which is never a good spot to be in as the guy where it's like, I want to kick the shit out of you. I don't, I mean, all I know is like, I mean, I'm assuming it's like ass slapping, but she, she's come out looking a little roughed up. But she also sounds like she's like enjoying it a lot. So I can't, I mean, I think that she's just into it. So how, okay. So how thin are the walls for starters? The wall.

Starting point is 00:02:41 Like if she's, if she snores, can you hear her? No. Okay. So she's getting hit. It's like, so the worst part about this was that there was somebody, at this point, so it's just me and the Turkish woman living, like, in the apartment right now. And then everybody who I talked about before, they've all moved out. So now it's just, like, random Airbnb people. I have, like, there's literally...

Starting point is 00:03:04 How the fuck are you still alive? How many roommates have you had come through? So now it's just like random Airbnb people. I have like, there's literally somebody new every single day. People just walk in the door and I'm like, what's up? I don't even question it. You don't even question people in your apartment. You should do that. At this point. Try that a little. I know.

Starting point is 00:03:17 I know. I know. Anyways. I don't think New York has to stand your ground laws, but you should ask. At least ask. Who are you? Anyway. Does she approve them all or did she give you any say?

Starting point is 00:03:27 Like, hey, are you cool with this? I literally. She didn't even give me a warning. That's the thing is I keep being like, can we at least like run it by me that somebody knew was coming? Are you robbing me or? When are you moving out of this apartment? End of June.

Starting point is 00:03:40 All right. So the clock's really on. Anyways. You know how they get like the theory is like most car accidents happen within 10 minutes of your house? Yeah. Most murders happen within a month of you moving out. Don't fucking tell me that. You're really, you're knocking on death's door.

Starting point is 00:03:56 Oh, my God. I literally got so bad to the point that, like, you know how, like, Frank was looking for a roommate? I was like, dear Lord, I would much rather Frank or somebody that I know who's not creamy. Jackie, I'm going to assure you something right now. Barstool Sports will pay your rent if you

Starting point is 00:04:14 live with Frank the Tank. I can almost guarantee that. I can't write the check myself, but I can almost guarantee Barstool Sports will pay that. Doug's tweeted he was worried about the budget of the new house, so what's going to happen? And Dave just quote tweeted him like what the fuck is this like tell me the number what you need yeah you live with doug's and tank unbelievable literally much rather live with them but first of all tank wants to live not in

Starting point is 00:04:38 manhattan and i have to live in manhattan so that's right okay wait so the uh i'm doing how many boy toys does this person have um so okay this is and what are the other ones into this is okay because this was the slapping one you know god it's a slap boy the slapping one this is this is quite like a well i think slapping is a disingenuous way to say it too because i thought you you slapped her in the face. You need to go and ask Smacky. I know, I know. Okay, Smacky. Sorry. I don't know what's being, it could be her face.

Starting point is 00:05:11 I don't know. All I know is what I'm saying. Give me more! Yeah. And it just sounds like BDSM is what I know. Okay. It's what you're describing, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:20 So this is the brother of the first guy that she brought home ever, who was her boss. Sorry, I'm not speaking in the mic. Who was her boss, who she slept with to get to, so she's a waitress, to get to keep her job. But she, I'm just totally airing her out. I kind of feel bad. You're also describing a Me Too situation. Yeah, I fucked my boss to keep my job. No, no, bad. You're also describing a Me Too situation.

Starting point is 00:05:46 Yeah, I fucked my boss to keep my job. No, no, no. Also, like, why is the boss coming back to your place? If you're the boss, you fucking hotels, you fucking your own apartment. Yeah, then he tried to, like, I, like, took a bunch of, like, videos, because one time he came home, and he, like, tried to, like, he was, like, do you like your job? And I was, like, yeah. He was, like, well...

Starting point is 00:06:01 If you fuck me, I'll get your wages. No, no, no, not like that. Is it better than working at fucking Clancy's Bar and Grill? Because if you're looking for $2.50 an hour and the occasional big tip,

Starting point is 00:06:18 boy, do I have a gig for you. Just have to fuck my penis. That was not the offer, but the offer was... I think he was trying to be this big baller in front of my roommate. So not offering me sex for the record. So then. Guy, I'm assuming who's literally getting government aid right now is a big baller. If you own a restaurant, you're on welfare right now.

Starting point is 00:06:46 I'm fine. I'm doing fine. If you own a restaurant, you're on welfare right now. I kept being like, I'm fine. Like, I'm doing fine. Thank you. Anyways, so then, oh, yeah, so then he, like, kept being like, listen, like, I have a position open for you if you want. And I was like, no. It's called dog eat. Oh, no. And then, okay, so then ended up, or she is an alcoholic, like a raging alcoholic, and she ended up getting fired anyways.

Starting point is 00:07:09 We don't shame. She said that she couldn't, they didn't allow her to drink at the job and she can't do anything well if she's not drinking. So now for her new job, she's gotten- 30 years old? I didn't realize this was a waitress gig, though. It's a waitress gig. I mean, that's kind of standard. Yeah, she's the first person to work in the service industry who's

Starting point is 00:07:26 also has an alcoholism problem no no she's also a pilot i'm sorry what and and so she's trained to be a pilot she's trained to be a pilot so she's not actually a pilot and they won't let her she like can't get a green card so she isn't fully a pilot i don't know it's confusing 9-11 fucked it up for all immigrants trying to get pilot licenses. There was one time where she was like, wait, what did you say? I said 9-11 fucked it up for all immigrants trying to get pilot licenses. You have to learn how to land first.

Starting point is 00:07:56 She literally was like, just so you know, every single pilot's an alcoholic. We got by me. Came back. Okay, so the other boy toys what are they like? the other ones are I don't hear this one she obviously likes the most

Starting point is 00:08:14 I don't hear anything from the other ones they seem pretty standard and again I'm apologizing for being a really bad joke on the camera but they this one's the only and I'm, again, I'm apologizing for being a really bad joke on the camera right now. But they, this one's

Starting point is 00:08:28 the only, the other one, I don't know, the other boy toys are just like random. A bunch of pussies. Missionary delights out. You see them in the morning, you're like, you fucking suck at fucking. I don't see them in the morning, but she kicks them out. She kicks them out as soon as as they, she's done

Starting point is 00:08:43 with them. Yeah, she's J-Wow, she just bites their head off. But the brother, first of all, the brother now seems like he's a lot, from what I can hear, the first brother seems like he's a deadbeat in bed because he doesn't, there was no sound coming from him, but the second

Starting point is 00:09:00 one seems like he's a lot. The first brother, he doesn't actually fuck, he just gets in there and cries thinking about his other brother fucking in that bed yeah he's a dead he doesn't make any noise he's whimpering in the closet i see my brother's sock god damn it the other the other brother still doesn't know so that's the tea she's fucking two brothers and keeping it a secret one one doesn't care the other still doesn't know. So that's the tea. She's fucking two brothers and keeping it a secret. One doesn't care. The other one doesn't know.

Starting point is 00:09:29 Yeah. The second brother, the better. I don't know who's weirder. Well, I know who's weirder. It's the one who's like, yeah, you just fuck my brother. Let's fuck. Yeah, I know. If you're coming in second there.

Starting point is 00:09:39 That's some fucking. It's not like something the Mannings would be into. You just fuck Eli, I'm going to fuck you better. Yeah, anyway, so then, and the first brother, they didn't tell him because, I don't know, because he like, he wanted to get the job back. So she's dating one brother. His brother is her boss. She fucked him to keep a job. His, yes.

Starting point is 00:10:07 God damn. But so for the record, it wasn't me too thing necessarily. I think that she, she very much like just is, I guess I shouldn't like say anything, but, but she just is very much like the dominant. Zip it up now. You know what? I probably shouldn't share this. I'm just saying, like,

Starting point is 00:10:28 she very much seems like she was very... I'm going to stop talking. I'm pretty sure I know this woman's social security code. I know. I'm so sorry if you're listening. Say her name first and last. No, I'm not going to say it. Anyways, that's the tea with me and my roommate.

Starting point is 00:10:49 Hey, that's the tea. Yeah. I do that stuff. I don't know. You said the text that was like, make sure you remind me about the janky fucking. Oh, my God. Your dad built a obstacle course in your backyard? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:01 My mom is very much into Spartan racing and shit like that. And my dad, I was telling him earlier, he has crazy anxiety, but will never go to a therapist and get diagnosed with it. Like, classic. Because he's going to have to come out of the closet. Yeah. But he

Starting point is 00:11:17 wants to always do randomly. He always wants to randomly do nice things for my mom and stuff and does it in the quickest way possible. We have a... It's monkey bars

Starting point is 00:11:33 between two trees that is just a ladder being propped up by two by fours, hammered into the trees. We got a rope that's out back that's just like a random rope. He randomly puts like – it wasn't there this time, but there was something with cinder blocks at one point where it's like, oh, yeah, go do your weight training. So your dad is LeBarn James?

Starting point is 00:11:54 Yes, pretty much. When I saw that this weekend, I was like, oh, I've seen that shit in my backyard before. And does your mom – like you wake up in the morning and like look out back and your mom is just like swinging from tree to tree? No. My you wake up in the morning and, like, look out back and your mom's just, like, swinging from tree to tree? No, my mom wakes up in the morning and is like, what the fuck is this? Because she goes to, like, actual gyms and stuff. Because all this stuff happens between, like, midnight to 5 a.m. where he'll just, like, start building shit. I was actually saying, you act like you're disappointed.

Starting point is 00:12:20 I think that this is a very smart idea. Like, I'm, like, very impressed by this idea. It sounds like the ideas of a drunk man. act like you're disappointed. I think that this is a very smart idea. I'm very impressed by this idea. This sounds like the ideas of a drunk man. I'll just put a ladder from that tree to that tree and then we'll... But I would never think like a ladder... You're getting to the source.

Starting point is 00:12:37 But like a ladder is just sideways monkey balls. That's creativity. A similar thing that's also janky but in the house. He wanted to frame one of my little brother's drawings. Again, just a couple 2x4s nailed into the wall with the drawing in there.

Starting point is 00:12:54 It is. 2x4s? As the frame? I gotta see if I have a photo. That is a hearty frame. It's a very hearty frame. That's almost a new house. It's not even centered.

Starting point is 00:13:07 4-2 Blackboards is basically a new house. It's not even centered on the wall, and it's a big poster board. Yeah, I don't have a photo with me, but I'll get them. I'll give photos of all this. Yeah, I had my little brother just shooting bow and arrows in the backyard because that's his new hobby, and I'm like, what happened here? I'm like, I went to New York for a year. I think we need to go spend some time at the Hamilton household.

Starting point is 00:13:29 It's a blast. Lots going on there. What do you guys want to do now? Let's go hang ladders in the trees. That's literally exactly what I was thinking. Awesome. We were making fun of BB guns last week. Yeah, I mean, whenever we start drinking, we set up some bottles in the garage.

Starting point is 00:13:47 Got to wear safety glasses, though. That's my dad's rule. It's like, all right, everyone wear safety glasses. We're going to shoot these cans for like three hours. I don't know. I think we're going to have maybe that might be like 90,000 subscribers. Field trip to the Hamilton household. We do fucking.

Starting point is 00:14:02 Basically, it sounds like a John Wick training. Yeah, you wake up in the morning. My mom asked me to run 15 miles with her. I've kind of gotten in shape. Not really. Like, I just ride a bike. But she's like,

Starting point is 00:14:13 yeah, no, I'm going to go run 15 miles. Do you want to come? Yeah, sure. Let's make it 20. Bug it. Why is it 15? I think she was patronizing me a bit.

Starting point is 00:14:22 I was literally on the couch like just chilling, watching How I Met Your Mother. Looking like a bag of shit. Also, my little brother scoffed at me when I told him. I was like, hey, we got like 62,000 subscribers on YouTube. He goes, nice. And I'm like, all right, you little shit.

Starting point is 00:14:40 That's pretty good. That is, you know what would be a great present for Kevin to come come back from vacation 70 000 subscribers so go subscribe to the youtube today's episode that's brought to you by cut's clothing the best clothing in the game i tell you you know it's no no lab skin no fucking no fucking cable knit sweater is it no it's a tight fitting t-shirt the tight fitting t-shirt that shows your muscles makes you look slimming very slimming silhouette in the cots clothing the best the only t-shirt that matters is what gq called it you've heard of gq haven't you gentlemen's quarterly a t-shirt for a gentleman is what cots clothing is i wear it i wear it in the black and the blue because that's a more slimming color i get the tight t-shirt almost it's almost like a sphinx like which i might not like to hear that but it's tight it it makes everything fucking squeeze in yeah the stomach

Starting point is 00:15:29 comes in the tits come up that real perky pecs yeah no no need for the victoria's secret push-up bra when you got a good clothing on it always looks like you just did a bunch of push-ups oh boy but i'll tell you it's my favorite t T-shirt. Again, I was wearing a blue one just yesterday. After a workout, I thought, oh, I got the fucking veins going now. I got a good pump. Might as well put on the cut. It is sharp T-shirts that you can wear out to the club. You can wear them to the office.

Starting point is 00:15:55 You can wear them around the house. Very comfortable. Very elegant. Very designed well. GQ. Go to cutsclothing.com. I apologize. They switched up the promo code on me here, did they?

Starting point is 00:16:09 CutsClothing.com slash Clancy. A good Irish name, I see. CutsClothing.com slash Clancy. 15% off your first purchase. Now let's get the man, the myth, the legend back in here. Kevin Clancy, what's been going on with you, lad?

Starting point is 00:16:23 You want to do a little bit of Disney guy? Yeah. Explain this to me. All right. I have not seen him. So the Disney fella. Now, this is a guy who I'm going to get you his exact name here. Disney fella wrote an article in the Orlando Sentinel, big time paper, over the weekend or on Friday.

Starting point is 00:16:41 He wrote it? I guess, yeah. He wrote the op-ed, I believe. Doesn't have Twitter. Looks like a P-word. I was going to say, be careful. Yeah, P-word. Could be anything.

Starting point is 00:16:55 Looks like a pussy. Well, not that one. I know. That's a P-word too is what I'm saying. I don't want to take away from what P-words I could be referring to. Could be a philanthropist. Could be, yeah. Could be a philanthropist. Could be, yeah. Could be a pioneer.

Starting point is 00:17:08 Could be. He's a lot of words. Yeah, let's stop at could be. He's definitely a P-word. He is, without question, a fucking P-word, this guy. Okay. And he wrote an article in the Orlando Sentinel where talking about how Disney's wokeness is ruining the experience. Right.

Starting point is 00:17:41 He is not from Orlando. I don't know why they gave him this platform. Right. He's from northern Las Vegas, which I didn't know was a place. He's from northern Las Vegas. Northern Las Vegas? Yeah. And he is upset that Disney is allowing

Starting point is 00:17:57 their cast members... Imagine being like I'm from... I mean, I guess people say I'm from East New York, but that's like a place. I'm just being like I'm from North New York. Is like a place I'm just being like I'm from North Las Vegas Bronx like I don't know he says he is whatever fuck this he starts it off by saying um where is it

Starting point is 00:18:13 here the more Disney moves away from the values and vision of Walt Disney the less Disney world means to me he later in the article says that he is a conservative Republican so he does not share the values of the company of Walt Disney.

Starting point is 00:18:29 But sir, I think you share the values of Walt Disney. So do I. I believe Walt Disney. I believe Walt Disney. Wasn't he a Nazi? I was going to say an N-word, yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure there are at least rumors and whispers about Walt Disney.

Starting point is 00:18:48 Right. So that's what he said. Tip in the toe with Nazism. But he's saying he's down with Walt himself, but not down with the company these days. Yeah. Because the company's trying to be. The company's moving away from his vision. Right.

Starting point is 00:18:59 Which is a beautiful area in land. Right. Which is like a very Auschwitz-y type of vibe. And so he's saying, so long story short, he's saying he can't go to Disney anymore because Disney's not Nazi enough. Yeah, essentially. He said that his thin blue line tattoos are not accepted there like they were at the Capitol. But he says that, I mean, look at this fucking P word. That is.

Starting point is 00:19:25 Absolutely. That is a discerning look. But he said, basically, this is all about the fact that cast members can now show their tattoos. And that ruins the immersion of the experience. When he is in Futureland or wherever the fuck he says, he is in Futureland because that's where he lets his mind go. But if he is to see a tattoo in Futureland, then it couldn he is in Futureland because that's where he lets his mind go.

Starting point is 00:19:47 But if he is to see a tattoo in Futureland, then it couldn't possibly be Futureland anymore. And I think the big problem here that this stems from is that, and I think that people are, anyone who is fucking psychotic enough to be agreeing with this guy, I think when he says cast members, most people think mascots. Yeah. Not the case. Not the case.

Starting point is 00:20:08 As someone who's been to Disney recently, within the last two years, I noticed a very odd thing happening. Every Disney employee is called a cast member. The fucking housemaids are called cast members. It's a housemate. The lady who does your, like, we stayed at a hotel on Disney, and it was like, cast members. It's a housemate. The lady who does your... We stayed at a hotel on Disney, and it was like, cast members only allowed through here. And it was just like,

Starting point is 00:20:30 where the fucking cleaning people took their things. I saw the door shut behind them, and then I saw the sign, and I was like, oh, they call everyone a cast member. So like the person working the vendors, the person working in a store, they're all cast members.

Starting point is 00:20:41 And now they're allowed to show tattoos. And that is fucking this guy's world up. It's not like fucking Snoopy can go out there and cut a sleeve off his costume. This is bizarre. This is weird. Right? Like, this guy is fucking weird. Holy moly. This guy's like, if I see a picture of Mickey Mouse with his head off smoking a cigarette,

Starting point is 00:21:06 I'm going to fucking kill myself. If you ruin that fucking dream for me, if you ruin my adult fantasy of Mickey Mouse and he has his fucking head off, I am going to cut my own off. I mean, no. I'm going to go on Space off. I mean, no. I'm going to go on Space Mountain. Let me say this. Make sure the bar is up and get high enough that you fucking decapitate me because I saw Mickey Mouse without a head on. Another thing he's like, he's like, what's next?

Starting point is 00:21:35 They can use cell phones. I don't know. Yeah, probably. I will say I will. Let me let me support this P word for a second. Like, if he is saying, there's a, first of all, there's a huge difference between, like, mascots and, like, the housekeepers. You know? If, like, if you are out in the Disney, like, public, and you're supposed to be Mickey Mouse or something,

Starting point is 00:22:06 you probably should be a character. 100%. And I'm not saying for the fucking fat people. I'm saying for the children. You should not be able to catch Mickey Mouse taking his hat off smoking a cig. And they're not saying again. They're not saying

Starting point is 00:22:19 Winnie the Pooh just had his cock out. And if I saw Cinderella and she had on a dress and she was sleeved up, like Winnie the Pooh just had his cock out. Right. And if I saw if I saw Cinderella and she had on like a dress and she was sleeved up I would maybe be like you know that doesn't really

Starting point is 00:22:31 look like Cinderella. But if you're going to complain that the guy serving you a milkshake at the fucking you know ice cream hut or whatever

Starting point is 00:22:38 has you know his dead friend's fucking date tattoo then he's got a BLM tattoo and this guy lost his mind well that's right back in his face i'm gonna say i wonder what kind of tattoos were talking about i bet there was one

Starting point is 00:22:51 that you know said fucking like rest in peace george floyd and he went fucking bananas i was in walt disney world with my family and my children trying to show them a fucking good time. And then this fucking F word with a rainbow flag tattoo and the audacity to give me french fries. I was trying to show these kids a good time, and he had the audacity to say he believed in equal rights. I mean, imagine. You got some horse racing on, huh? How we doing, Jackie?

Starting point is 00:23:28 Jackie's first foray into the captain's seat is going interesting. I made a huge deal today about how much I'm running this ship. Jackie's gotten the six at Keeneland. We got the Keeneland. Jackie, it's fine. Don't worry about it. You know what? I like it.

Starting point is 00:23:46 I like it. Actually, can we put that on YouTube? I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know if there's some rule against it. It would be funny to just have horse racing on it. Yeah. I mean, I'm a big, I'm a big, I don't like anybody being like, if you come into my field

Starting point is 00:24:02 of vision with something I don't like, that's a problem. It's like, I don't know. Don't look at my tattoos. Like, what you come into my field of vision with something I don't like, that's a problem. It's like, I don't know. Don't look at my tattoos then. Like, what the fuck ever. But if anybody is an adult, I mean, this has been a thing on the internet before. Adult Disney people are. Oh, they're allowed to display inclusive haircuts. I don't even know what the fuck that means.

Starting point is 00:24:24 This guy saw one lesbian and lost his mind. Yeah, I was going to say, that basically means girls are allowed to have short hair and men are allowed to have long hair. You guys are getting this, that Kevin's microphone's all fucked up, right? I think it's both of ours. Or is it my headphones?

Starting point is 00:24:35 I'm not sure. My mic sounds okay. Oh, okay. Or my headphones. It's my headphones. I think that adult Disney people should be exterminated and or sterilized. You just can't.

Starting point is 00:24:51 You can't. I think sterilized almost takes the governor off the whole thing. I can go to Disney and I won't even see my boner. Perfect. I think you can go to Disney as an adult if you are filming a ridiculous video where you're going to get drunk with your friends. I'll put that caveat out there.

Starting point is 00:25:13 I will allow you to go to Disney World as an adult three times. Two times. Adult sans children. Yeah. You can bring your kids to Disney as much as you want I would say as an adult, without kids You can maybe go

Starting point is 00:25:31 Like for instance What if you're dating a girl And she's like It was my lifelong dream to go to Disney And we were poor growing up and I could never go I'm not dating a poor girl Next Next hypothetical Like, we were poor growing up, and I could never go. I'm not taking a poor girl. Next.

Starting point is 00:25:48 Next hypothetical. You better hope that next boyfriend saves up his fucking money from Carl's Jr. Well, for those of you who tell me your family couldn't afford to take you to Disney in the You're out. Guess what? I'll find a new girlfriend. Where do you rank poorness? If you were to date a girl, would you rather

Starting point is 00:26:09 date a girl who is... That's the worst P word, Kevin. The biggest stigma of all. Poor. Would you rather date someone... Knowing what the P word is? No, no. We're keeping you in the dark.

Starting point is 00:26:29 Would you rather date a girl with, like, mangled teeth and a lazy eye and a bald spot, or she's normal looking and dirt poor? Dirt. Family on fucking food stamps. She's homeless. You found a girl. Do I have to meet her family? Yes. So you meet her. You meet her in a coffee in a coffee, like a Starbucks.

Starting point is 00:26:58 And you think she's just like there having coffee and you don't realize she's living there. She was parked up there for like 12 hours. You can just leave the TV off. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just turn the TV off.

Starting point is 00:27:09 And so she – We are doing this podcast in a fucking funhouse right now. We're doing a podcast in a fucking third grade classroom and the teacher's left for five minutes. I'm waiting for wasps to start flying around. I'm going to unplug the goddamn television. We're not doing TV.

Starting point is 00:27:37 That's fine. That is fine. Just leave that there. You are going to date her and you have to meet her poor family nah i'm fucking bad but but but then the alternative is the ugly girl and you got to meet her ugly no i don't want to do either no that's that's it i refuse to date an ugly person or i'll give you a third a third uh out here morbidly obese beautiful very pretty how about that morbidly obese. Beautiful. Very pretty. How about that? Morbidly obese. Can't I just date people who I have a connection with? I don't have a connection with any of these people.

Starting point is 00:28:11 What if you did? I assure you we wouldn't have a connection. Me and these three people have nothing in common. Oh, man. But my point was going to be that if for some reason you could take someone to Disney as an adult and that would like make a dream come true. And then I'm thinking like if you somehow like let's say you proposed at Disney with your kids or something like that. And then you ever went back as like an anniversary.

Starting point is 00:28:38 I'm trying to come up with ways where you can go like once or twice. I wish I could hire Chris Kyle to sit in the Magic Kingdom. Continue. Sit in the crow's nest at the Magic Kingdom. Pick them all off. Sit in Cinderella's fucking castle. Rapunzel's tower. Through the scope, I'd be like, child.

Starting point is 00:28:57 Okay, you're good. Child. Wait a minute. No child. Cox it. Ready to go. And then a little kid comes in the view. He's like, never mind.

Starting point is 00:29:03 You're good. And then he just finds two fat people with the thin blue line tattoos and just pow just how great would it be how great would it be if you were just supposed to do voicemails imagine if you got your kids imagine you're just walking with your kids and you're and you're imagine this oh this would be so great you're walking with your kids and you're so fucking miserable you're hot you're sweaty you've been walking around all day you've been spending tons of money your kids have been bothering you but you're doing this for your kids and you haven't you have not seen one entertaining thing all day because it's all for the kids and

Starting point is 00:29:35 all that shit and then all of a sudden you see some fat slob in a fucking rascal right and his and his wife's next to her so these this is a couple all by themselves, no kids. Their fat is hanging out. They've got their blue line tattoos. They're riding around in their rascals. And all of a sudden you just see that whisper. And they just slump over and you're like,

Starting point is 00:30:01 what's that? And another one hits his wife and you just get to watch two adult Disney people get sniped from the tower. We are in so much trouble. This is cycling 2.0 coming our way and I'm here for it. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Sure. Oh, I don't care about them.

Starting point is 00:30:21 I thought you meant like with people here. They're going to be like, you can't put this episode out oh I'll take on the Disney people yeah we want you all sniped that would be that would be like

Starting point is 00:30:32 make a wish for me like I'm dying what's your last wish train me on how to hit people from 750 yards out and let me go I wish to become

Starting point is 00:30:42 a world class sniper please did you imagine that? I'm laying there with my legs spread out. You put your legs covered in piss and shit. Oh, I don't know about that.

Starting point is 00:30:51 Well, yeah. I mean, that's how you move. You don't know how to snipe. Come on. You gotta piss yourself. Take that breath in. Doesn't even count as a headshot

Starting point is 00:30:58 if you don't piss yourself. Yeah, I would almost... I would be like Hank in jail. They'd be like, you already pissed yourself? It's only been like 20 minutes. Got to get the real experience. When I breathe in, there's just like a split second.

Starting point is 00:31:13 Yeah. God, that would be so great. You know my mom doesn't – refuses to get Disney Plus? Not that she's a big Disney watcher anyway. I was home the other weekend. There's some show I was trying to watch on Disney Plus. I forget. Maybe Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Whatever. She refuses to get disney plus not that she's a big disney watcher anyway like i was home the other weekend there's some show i was trying to watch on disney plus i forget maybe falcon winter soldier whatever she refuses to get it out of a we're probably now in a 20 20 year grudge year grudge with disney why are they like because they give her a refund or something at the one time no the one time they

Starting point is 00:31:40 took us they were furious with the fact that you can't go on a ride without walking through a gift shop afterwards. And it was like, my dad was like, look, he's like, I want to spend the layout of the store with every of the park. He's like, every single ride, I have a fucking fight with you, which I would be hellish. Like, we go on rock and roller coaster or whatever. And so you like i want this i want this i want this and it's like okay well we're gonna go to space now i want this i want this i understand it but also if i was disney i'd be like yeah bitch yeah that's the point yeah yeah that's why we're rich like oh man that's what i wanted is the when we were there for um for rat for Rattling Family. I saw zero, like, they said it's the happiest place on earth. I saw literally zero happy adults.

Starting point is 00:32:29 Yeah. Well, adults, yeah. Everyone was fucking miserable. Dude, when I went to Disneyland. Miserable. Do you remember my Disneyland trip? No. It was insane.

Starting point is 00:32:40 It was insane. You remember it? Yeah. I mean, it was really sweet. It was actually, like, the last fun thing we did as a family. It was insane. You remember it? Yeah. I mean, it was really sweet. It was actually like the last fun thing we did as a family. It was really nice. But Shay was like 18 months old. It was insanity.

Starting point is 00:32:54 Like she was not able to understand anything. We were on a ride and she fell asleep. And I'm just sitting there and it's me and Shay and Caitlin. And I was like, and the baby's just sleeping. And I'm just sitting on a ride. I was like and i'm just sitting there and it's me and shay and caitlin i was like and the baby's just sleeping and i'm just sitting on a ride i was like what are we doing this is borderline insane we flew across the goddamn country because we couldn't get zika so we couldn't go to florida we flew across the country to let our baby take naps in a fucking roller coaster madness but now i'm also thinking maybe we got a loophole because i'm

Starting point is 00:33:24 gonna be like shay you already went to disney world yeah here are the receipts bitch that's your fault you don't remember that yeah have a better memory i don't know what to tell you have a better memory but but you know what the real kicker in this whole thing is this fucking p word doesn't even have twitter so he doesn't we can't even roast them so he doesn't even know that, like, this is happening. Like, what? That's an unfair loophole. I want to call him up. If you're going to say, like, bullshit opinions online. Yeah, especially if you write or whatever.

Starting point is 00:33:52 I need a place to yell at you. Yes. You need to know if people hate you. Yeah. Otherwise, I'm going to get his landline. In North Las Vegas. And, you know, just hanging out with fucking blow-up life-size mini dolls and body pillows and fucking Snoopy.

Starting point is 00:34:05 If that's a Disney character, I don't know. I'm a normal adult. He has no idea. I want to call his house phone. I want it to ring. I want to pick it up and be like, hey, we all hate you. Hey, the internet hates you. Fuck that guy.

Starting point is 00:34:20 Imagine that. Every time you shared an opinion, it was just like, he's got a phone call. Every quote tweet was a phone call instead. You would love that. If like every time you shared an opinion, it was just like you just got a phone call. Every quote tweet was a phone call instead. You would love that. Every dunk tweet. I wouldn't like it. That would be. Can we recap a little bit of 3G Day?

Starting point is 00:34:38 Sure. Hola. Are you looking for the perfect Mother's Day gift? Well, the only thing your mother loves more than a dark, dark and handsome Spanish man like me is Kendra's Cut Jewelry. It's your number one gifting destination. It's beautifully crafted jewelry that gives back. Kendra's Cut. From engraving to birthstone colors to diamonds.

Starting point is 00:35:02 Find exactly what mom wants for Mother's Day. That kindred's cut. From now through May 7th, get 20% off using code KFC. Again, that's on anything you want. From engraving, to birth diamonds, to birth the colors. Anything, anything. Well, sure, there are some exclusions. It's not crazy town.

Starting point is 00:35:24 It's not lo town it's not local city local city but it's beautiful jewelry beautiful at kendra scott not quite as beautiful as me of course but it goes down more joe again that's called kfc 20 percent off at kendra Scott. Your mama will thank you. Can we recap a little bit of 3G Day? Sure. Maria is just a fucking, a wild, a loose cannon when she gets high.

Starting point is 00:35:56 Why? I mean... I was so fucking high it was crazy. Do you remember what she was saying? Yeah, oh yeah. I don't get why I blacked out. Is that a thing? When she was saying yeah oh yeah i don't know i don't get it so high i'm like that was when she was just essentially saying like i used to think you guys were cool and then i got to know you oh yeah i was like uh this is the most offensive thing i've ever heard she was like yeah i used to i used to know you guys that was hands down the meanest thing i think i've ever heard she also said it was such a smile

Starting point is 00:36:25 and like so high that she was like kind of like enjoying it and like thought she was making sense and i was just like what you're telling me and she never really finished the sentence she was just like i used to think you guys were cool yeah okay finish the thought like maybe maybe the other thought is like and then i realized you're really cool. But I don't think it was. I don't think that was the end of her sentence. I didn't think. I didn't take it like that. Yes, you did. You said to her.

Starting point is 00:36:50 Yes, you did. I took it like that to an extent. But I don't think she was like, you're uncool. I think she was. I think she did. What else would it mean? I think it would mean that now she sees us as coworkers. As like normal and now cool.

Starting point is 00:37:11 Okay, we'll go with that. Those cool guys with a podcast. Yeah, let's go with that spin zone. I don't mind that. Yeah, go ahead. What were you going to say? I was going to say John's probably right in the fact that like that's kind of. Maybe that's what she was going for.

Starting point is 00:37:24 As the sober person that was here. Yeah. I will say I think that's what she was trying to go for originally. But she did not convey that. That is not at all what she said. I interrupted her to make it funny. I think she was just going to be like, but now you guys are just like my friends. When she was like, hating yourself doesn't make you cool. I was like, that's not why we do it. I don't want to do it at all, as a matter of fact.

Starting point is 00:37:47 It was funny. The juxtaposition of a bunch of high people who can't shut the fuck up, and then Doug's just chilling. Just couldn't say a word. I was actually mad when we turned the conversation to him because I wanted to see how long it was going to go. I believe he didn't say anything for 18 minutes.

Starting point is 00:38:06 Yeah, and then he said something and then he went silent again for 20 minutes and then he said something and then I think that was the end of the show. But yet, the most important appearance.

Starting point is 00:38:15 Yes. You know what I mean? It's like quality, not quantity. I didn't know what to do at the end of the night whether I should wake him up or not. Do we think I did the right thing

Starting point is 00:38:23 by leaving him in that chair? Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, you had no choice. You could wake him up or not do we think I did the right thing by leaving him in that chair oh yeah well first of all you had no choice you could you could wake him up but it's I mean like he was gonna he was gonna stay in that chair until he was good and ready I walked out and I saw him and I was like I was about to take a picture and put I wanted to put up like a over under time like when does Doug's wake up or when does Doug's get home? And I was going to set the over under at like 8. AM the next day. And I was like, I don't want to blow up his spot.

Starting point is 00:38:51 I, I, I had the same thing. Once Casey radio put it out, I just quote tweeted that. Yeah. Cause I was like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:38:55 Maybe he's, maybe he's embarrassed by it. Or I, I, I'm not, I think it's a lot. You shouldn't take pictures of sleeping people. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah. Yeah. Especially when we're, it's more passed out. Yeah. So I was like no i'm not gonna do that but i saw him like eyes were bloodshot and he was he was back and relaxed and i was like this man will be here till 11 a.m uh and he he said he got home at 11 30 p.m like

Starting point is 00:39:16 i'm um i'm uh safe and sound in bed and i was like i do not think so colin but i'll let you slide on that one um because he didn't come in until like we were doing pints he strolled in at like 4 30 5 o'clock i was like what are you what's the point yeah it's quitting time brother uh but that was um i want to go back and watch it which is something i never do but i want to see if it was funny sober because i mean that was some of the most fun i've ever had podcasting. It was very, very fun. I mean the ladybugs thing was like I couldn't – I mean I couldn't talk.

Starting point is 00:39:50 I was laughing so hard. Also, it's such a weird experience. Like I am so – I already think – I know that I talk too much as is because of what we do here. I think I have like a fucking complex where Where like in the beginning of podcasting. Especially when I was doing mail time. Like by myself. You have to fill dead air. So I just like talk, talk, talk, talk.

Starting point is 00:40:11 And now I can't like scale it back to a normal amount. Usually when I'm high. I know I'm talking too much. So I just shut the fuck up. And then you go the opposite direction. Where you become like silent for the night. But I was like but we're doing a show. So you can't stop talking.

Starting point is 00:40:24 So I was like I don't know. I don't know where we're doing a show. So you can't stop talking. So I was like, I don't know. I don't know where I ended up leveling out. But I want to see if the ladybug thing and the poly. There was a moment where we were talking about poly, something about poly. High school. Talking about high school teachers. Yeah, yeah. Begging them to be at home.

Starting point is 00:40:39 Right, like, please take them back or whatever. And I was in stitches. That was so funny because me and you were looking at each other like they were still talking and at one point i think kelly was trying to like make sense of what it was it was like no like we're just we're just laughing about polyamory but uh that was so much fun and that's one of those things i'm like let's do it like next week let's just like do it all the time let's just get high and do podcasts and i know that you can't it's got to be like a once in a while thing but it turns out getting high and hanging out with friends fun fun pretty good time pretty fun i actually noticed this about you that

Starting point is 00:41:09 you as funny as you are on the podcast you are at your funniest when and i've noticed this like when we hung out in in westport and like just anytime we've been at the bar when you were just hanging out with friends and like a little drunk and in this case a little high and you're just go like that's when you're your absolute funniest and that side of you came out while we were recording and it was like this perfect blend of like professional john and and off the clock john and it was so fucking funny i was like this is this is a great fucking podcast i don't know what to do right now but then there's also every chance that i go listen to this like not on 3g and i'm like this is terrible this is terrible.

Starting point is 00:41:45 This is awful. But I don't think it was. So go watch the 3G day and, you know, get high on 3G first. But, yeah. Also go watch Rat Family Vacation if you haven't yet. I think that's, like, our biggest YouTube video ever. I know. I want it to hit 200,000 by the time this is out.

Starting point is 00:42:01 Oh, if it's at 200,000, it's definitely minus against the internet. Like, our videos, it's not even fucking close. I think it's at 200 it's definitely minus against the internet like our videos it's not even fucking close i think it's like 125 right now i got it i got a couple tweets of people being like i'm getting sick of like you begging for the subscriptions like i already subscribe and i listen every episode like well sorry we got a long way to go so you're gonna have to deal with like these like one minute bursts where we blag and complain and i scream at you but also we got 2 000 subscriptions last week so if we get 2 000 a week it's 100 000 a year i'm okay with that that that uh trajectory yeah so if we can just keep that up i'll shut the fuck up you never hear from me ever again yeah but just you guys gotta keep up you know yeah

Starting point is 00:42:38 but you have to we have to keep going at that clip so 100 000 a year i think is is pretty solid so uh it's working and so thank you to everybody who is subscribing to keep going at that clip. $100,000 a year, I think, is pretty solid. It's working. Thank you to everybody who is subscribing. Crunchy peanut butter or creamy peanut butter? Not even close. I've encountered this

Starting point is 00:42:57 and I am astounded that there are crunchy peanut butter advocates who... I'm okay if you say to me like... They probably say people drink pulp. This is wrong. Well, that's, right. But if you came to me and said like, that needs to be your dirty little secret. You need to be like, you know what I like? I like crunchy peanut butter. By the way, I don't

Starting point is 00:43:14 hate it. I'll fuck with it. Well, it's fine. It's like, I like peanuts, I like peanut butter, you mix them all up, it's fine. I think if it was up to me, I'd have one of each. The creamy would get replaced far more often than the crunchy. But I'd have them both on hand, just in case. I don't even think I'd have them on hand. I creamy would get replaced far more often than the crunchy, but I'd have them both on hand just in case. I don't even think I'd have them on hand. I think it's like a special thing.

Starting point is 00:43:30 It's like an old, horrible married couple who you get a blowjob on your birthday and Christmas. That's crunchy peanut butter. Crunchy peanut butter is like anal sex. It's like you've got to spice it up and switch it up every now and then. But good old creamy is like the go-to. But I do like the crunch, and that's why I like to use preserves rather than jelly.

Starting point is 00:43:49 That's crunchy. Oh, preserves? Oh, yeah. Preserves, a nice raspberry or a nice strawberry preserve, you get the seeds in there. Out of all of the things I loathe about you, the way you say preserves and get on your high horse about it, it makes me want to take these ropes out of my hood

Starting point is 00:44:07 and strangle you to death with it. Sorry, Kev. You're always on your high horse about preserves. Yeah. You and your fucking, this poor girlfriend you're going to date and take to Disney World one day. I'll teach you about preserves when you guys get back.

Starting point is 00:44:18 Preserves. What's the difference between preserves and jelly? I'm not a scientist. What's the difference between jam and jelly? Get jelly to stick in your ass. Got him. Okay, so I run... I don't think Jackie's heard that one. That's a classic.

Starting point is 00:44:45 Yeah. Uh, I, I mean the amount of people on the internet who were like, I love when people think they're going to be right. And we're like, Oh, like creamy peanut butter. You got to go crunchy. And I was like, uh, you are sadly mistaken. Now, uh, one that's going to be a little more contentious here. Skippy or Jif.

Starting point is 00:45:05 I'm a Jif guy. Yeah. I know you're Skippy or Jif. I'm a Jif guy. I know you're a Skippy guy, but I'm a Jif guy. And also, honestly, I don't think I have a strong opinion. Me neither. You can put Jif in front of me and you get no problem. But I will just say, if you are Jif... Isn't it so weird how just like what our parents did is what we do without thought?

Starting point is 00:45:21 Definitely. Like we just had Jif in the house. I don't really give a shit. Whatever. I buy Jif. Brand loyalty, I don't really give a shit. I'd eat whatever. I'd buy Jif. Brand loyalty, baby. You know what I did learn, though? I had Skippy natural the other day.

Starting point is 00:45:32 And I guess natural peanut butter in general, where it's a little more... I just realized how, I guess, fake, or whatever you want to call it, not natural peanut butter is. Normal Skippy is like this. You could like chew it almost. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:45:51 It's like – It's almost like cream cheese in a way. Why did I make your nipples hard? You sent chills down my spine. But natural is like so creamy. They're multiplying. You know what? Just play the fucking voicemails. Tell me about this cream cheese

Starting point is 00:46:09 peanut butter you like so much. It's like candy. My point was going to be it's really fucking sweet. That if you give me natural peanut butter that's actually peanut butter, I realize it's like anything else in life. I want the fake syrup. I want regular peanut butter. I think it's just loaded with sugar that makes it like a goddamn candy. I'm Like, I want the fake syrup. I want, you know. And, like, regular peanut butter, I think, is just, like, loaded with, like, sugar that makes it like a goddamn candy. I'm like, sign me the fuck up.

Starting point is 00:46:29 It's incredible. The natural version of everything is garbage. Terrible. Garbage. Yeah, we're the only species who eats fucking fake peanut butter. Yeah, it's the good one. Have we talked about monkeys? I know we talked about it on Friday on front of the pines but um i

Starting point is 00:46:46 learned more about the monkey human thing okay so what we're really striving for here is pigs pig organs are the same size as human organs so what we want to do as a society as scientists we want to grow the organs in pigs and because we already slaughter the fuck out of pigs to eat them we're like we're okay with that so there's no unethical issues with that there's no ethical issues that makes sense killing monkeys is a little bit like you can't go around like lopping the heads off of monkeys because we want their organs but pigs it's like well we got to get our bacon and our ham and there's none of that so but while we're there might as well take this fucking organ pop it in our body so but the or but the human mixing humans with pigs is not taking they

Starting point is 00:47:30 said it literally said not taking like when fucking white socks david's taking a shower they just didn't take but the monkeys are so they're trying to like start with the monkeys and somehow transfer it to the pigs like we're on our way to like man bear pigs as you say we're gonna monkeys fucking pigs. Yeah. Like it's gonna get bad. The, so what they did, they,

Starting point is 00:47:48 they put human cells into the, into a monkey embryo. They let that thing live for 20 days. And then they had a monkey human abortion. They got rid of it. Cause I think they were like, Whoa, this is getting crazy.

Starting point is 00:48:00 We should, they didn't think about that before. Like 20 days. Wait, do you guys realize what we did? I think that's what happened Get me a coat hanger Throw this down the stairs

Starting point is 00:48:13 Imagine that if they just had like a vial And just like Damn we aborted it So You know what that is called? That fucking Were they all drunk when they came up with the idea? Sobered up a few weeks later

Starting point is 00:48:25 oh fuck yeah we do the monkey human thing it's right on the board monkey humans should we s-h-u-d erases it throws it out, nobody talk about this. It never happened. They call that a chimera. Do you know what a chimera is? Yeah. In Greek mythology? I've seen Mission Impossible.

Starting point is 00:48:53 Yeah. Is that two or three? I mean, like anyone else is going to know that, John. You look around the room, like anyone else is going to know. I believe it's two. It's an animal with the lion's head a goat's body and a serpent's tail that spits fire and that's what the scientists were like let's go for that

Starting point is 00:49:11 let's name it that I think we already know what path we're going down here I like it I'd go see that at a zoo a chimera? yeah how about a liger? you ever see a liger?

Starting point is 00:49:20 in person? no but on TV? yeah they're so cool they're huge how about that? it's funny you mix those things together and you get a perfect mix of the two In person, no. But on TV, yeah. They're so cool. They're huge. How about that?

Starting point is 00:49:25 It's funny. It's like, yeah, you mix those things together, and you get a perfect mix of the two, but also it just goes twice as big. Why does it get that big? Oh, boy. Yeah, John, tell me why. Yeah. Tell me why you think a liger is bigger than a tiger or a lion. Why is a liger bigger than a tiger?

Starting point is 00:49:44 Tell me why, John. When you combine things, they get bigger. There you go. I mean, like, if I put something this big and this big, then it gets that big. That big, yeah. Science. It is. But I'm just here to say that not enough people were worried about P-words at Disney World.

Starting point is 00:50:00 We're not talking about the fact that, you know, Planet of the Apes is happening. Yeah, but they aborted it. Yeah, but they're not going aborted it. How about this? Were you old enough to remember Dolly? What year did that? Dolly the sheep? Vaguely. She got cloned. She was the first sheep to get cloned. I very vaguely remember

Starting point is 00:50:17 my friend's parents talking about it or something like that. It rings a bell. Dolly the sheep was in 1996. They cloned a sheep. It was a big to-do they named it dolly first cloned animal ever and then nothing ever again we never cloned another fucking thing we made this big or no we definitely did obviously they're doing all sorts of experiments but my point being that i think they made this whole big stink about it and then publicly never said another word about cloning that's fucking weird that is a little bizarre you know but there was no i actually think there might have been a dolly too that me i feel like that rings a bell but like there was no there was

Starting point is 00:50:59 no people huh you think she ate people no No, I don't. You think that the dolly, the spit was gross? The sheep stopped? Well, I think that some other shit went on behind the scenes where they were like... You mean she gave birth to a person? It's just like you just told Charlie Kelly.

Starting point is 00:51:20 Like, no, I do not think that Charlie, no, I do not think that sheep gave birth to a human, you idiot! Well, I don't know. If it goes into the quantum realm and comes back, I didn not think that, Charlie. You know, I do not think that sheep gave birth to a human, you idiot. Well, I don't know. If it goes into the quantum realm and comes back, I didn't think it would happen. But, okay, how about this? It had six lambs and an offspring. Bonnie, Sally, Rosie. How about this?

Starting point is 00:51:36 I see some weird shit happen. It had Bonnie. It had one animal. Then the next time around, it had twins. And then the next time around, it had triplets. It's fucking weird. If they went for the next round, would it have been quadruplets? Would it have just kept going?

Starting point is 00:51:52 But then, like, why do we never talk about it again? I think that something happened. Something happened down there. I was just googling this. And somehow this never made it. I was just googling this. And somehow this never made it. I've never heard about this. We successfully cloned 11 human embryos.

Starting point is 00:52:11 Like seven years later. And we just never. See that's like. So I am guaranteeing you. That there's like human clones out there. That we just don't know their clones. How about Diane? No, Barbara Streisand.

Starting point is 00:52:27 You know what she did? She clones her dog. She's had the same dog for like 25 years. It keeps dying, but she keeps cloning it. Wait, so then what are you talking about? Why don't we hear about it anymore? They're clearly still doing it. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:38 Well, the Barbara Streisand thing is kind of like a story that, and I think that's a Hollywood thing that you can get your pets can be cloned. So I'm not saying that we stopped cloning. I'm saying it was just weird that there was this international to-do about the first animal we ever cloned. And then there was just never a second one, a third one. There was never like a – and now we're going to – A to-do? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:59 Well, I think the to-do happens the first time. And then after that, I'm done with to-dos. The first moon landing was quite the to-do. That's why it's to-do. We don't have much to-do happens the first time. And then after that, I'm done with to-dos. The first moon landing was quite the to-do. We don't have much to-dos anymore. You can't have multiple to-dos or it kind of negates the to-do. Right. I understand that. One to-do per subject.

Starting point is 00:53:14 But also, remember, okay, so let's take the space program. It was a big to-do when we went into orbit. And a big to-do when we sent a monkey into space. And then a big to-do when we landed on the moon because you keep going. So I'm expecting a to-do when we sent a monkey into space and then a big to-do when we landed on the moon because you keep going. So I'm expecting a to-do when we got Dolly and then a to-do when we

Starting point is 00:53:31 get another animal and then a to-do when we clone the humans or whatever. We never to-do it again. I think the next to-do is the human to-do. Yeah, but I think that they have done it. I think they to-done it and they to don't talk about it because i think then you got some issues with cloning humans and then that becomes a whole thing

Starting point is 00:53:50 like guess what god's not real yeah i am god me in a lab making fucking man bear pigs okay and i believe do you think that uh that like hitler ever really succeeded like he was doing like he was putting like heads on german shepherds on on humans and shit like that i think hitler had a tough time with that yeah i don't think he ever succeeded but i also remember recently like like a year or two ago that that guy died like scientists and they went into his lab and they found all sorts of shit remember that we did it we did it on the rundown they found like uh like human heads chopped off they found like human bodies and then like horse heads. And they were like – the guy was clearly trying to put them together.

Starting point is 00:54:30 It was crazy. Yeah, I don't think that was going to work. No, I don't think so. But he was going to try and he was going to make a big to-do if he did it. I've seen that episode of Criminal Minds. I didn't know the full – I didn't know it was a real story. The only man in the world who references Criminal Minds, and he does it like once a week. It's amazing. I did it with my

Starting point is 00:54:47 therapist today. We need a Criminal Minds montage. Just make marks whenever John says Criminal Minds. What did your therapist say about your Criminal Minds reference? She went, oh yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Last question with four voices. She's like, if you'd done this with any other show, I would

Starting point is 00:55:03 have no clue, but I follow along perfectly right now. With the CBS Thursday night drama from ten years ago. Every other analogy would have been completely lost on me, but thank you. If you could be blended with an animal, what animal would you want it to be? Shark. That's a terrible answer.

Starting point is 00:55:31 Why? Because you've got to live in the water. I don't have to live in the water. I'm blended with a shark. He gets to live out in the water. You absolutely have to live either in the water or like one part of you is going to like die and suffer. No, we're blended. Okay, what part of a shark do you want?

Starting point is 00:55:44 A shark head? You want to just want a shark head you want to just have a shark head you walk around i want his gills you can't just have the gills because you gotta have like a body part of his yeah his gills that's not cheating you want to be able to swim underwater yeah that's cheating that's cheating i didn't realize we're doing g like okay you can have the gills but you then you've got to live in the water. Yes, because what happens when you take a fish out of water? It's fucking gills. Well, a single fish, but not a fish blended with a human being like me.

Starting point is 00:56:15 No, you can't be breathing out of the water and in the water. It's one or the other. No, no, no, no, no. Those rules weren't clearly laid out. Then you're just Aquaman. Okay, fine. What if I wanted wings? You can't.

Starting point is 00:56:24 You can't. You can't do both. Yeah. What? You can't have gills. Well, I got a mouth and lungs, so yeah, I goddamn can. No, because then you're... I actually think if you have gills and lungs, you can't breathe in anything.

Starting point is 00:56:38 That's wrong. It's too much breath. It's not too much breath. It's like... Because here's the problem. Gills are just like holes in you. So you're breathing in with your lungs, and then it's just coming out of your gills. You're not keeping anything in your body.

Starting point is 00:56:49 I'm keeping plenty in my body. I don't think you are. Yes, me and that horse head scientist talked about it before. When you're in the water with your gills, like doing whatever gills do, it's also just letting water into your lungs, into your body. This is crazy talk. It's not. It's really not.

Starting point is 00:57:01 It's actually scientific talk. All right, so what if I fucking wanted wings? I have to live in the sky? No, but wings are not going It's really not. It's actually scientific talk. All right, so what if I fucking wanted wings? I have to live in the sky? No, but wings are not going to affect your breathing. Well, I would need to have different breathing way up there in the air. Sure, but you don't have to on every, not by a second. Wouldn't it be implied? A second by second basis.

Starting point is 00:57:18 If I had wings, I would have bird breathing because they process oxygen differently because they got to go 30, 000 feet in the air you birds don't fly 30 000 feet you think you think you can you think you can breathe up there you think you can breathe at bird height you're crazy oh i would never assume that i can breathe at human height so then so then but i could use my bird wings to go at human heights you yours your choice for gills affects you second by second, your ability to breathe. Your wings allow you to do certain things that don't affect your ability to actually stay alive. If you were to go 30,000 feet in the air, you would die because you don't have the bird lungs. And if you were to have the bird lungs, fine. That doesn't mean you can't just breathe when you're on the ground too.

Starting point is 00:57:59 Fine. So you want wings? No, I want camel teeth. Camel's got great teeth. That was an awesome answer. Camel's got great smiles. awesome answer. Gammel's got a great smile. Awesome answer. They've got huge teeth. Huge teeth, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:32 I almost think of their teeth like hooves. I was just going to think that. Their hooves and their teeth are the same thing. Their teeth are like hooves for sure. Wow. It's funny. We both thought that. That answer was so good

Starting point is 00:58:45 I was like I hope he comes with something But I never would have thought he was going to say camel teeth Look at those hoof teeth That looks like a hoof Wait that's what you want? Well I'd brush Whoa those look actually a little more scary

Starting point is 00:59:00 While I brush That's not the issue I'd get braces too I'm not poor She's a little more scary while I brush. That's not the issue. I get braces, too. I'm not poor. I'm not savage. I'm not poor like Kevin's girlfriend from Disney. I've been to Disney World before. Look at that one.

Starting point is 00:59:15 Go up the second row. Yeah, that looks like scary. That looks like it'll rip you apart. I don't think that's a camel. I mean, that looks like a camel- you apart. I don't think that's a camel. I mean, that looks like a camel-lion hybrid or something. Yeah, those are serious teeth. I guess I'm having them.

Starting point is 00:59:38 I think I would take the... I mean, wings is a really cool choice, but then you're the weirdo with wings. I guess you're going to be a weirdo no matter what if you're an animal hybrid, though. So you might as well be able to fly. But taking that out because it's kind of too easy. Animals. I want to have the... What about

Starting point is 00:59:53 feral humans? You ever hear about that girl, Oksana? Yes. Some podcast I was listening to recently brought it up. She just lives with the dogs. Was she in Germany? Yeah, somewhere in Lithuania. I don't to recently brought it up. She just lives with the dogs. Was she in Germany? Yeah, somewhere in Lithuania. I don't think that story's real.

Starting point is 01:00:11 I think she's faking it. Everything in Europe's fake. Sure. I just feel like you would have to live amongst these animals forever. I don't think she did. I think she lived for a little while. They said she pants. I'm like, no, you don't. Dogs pant for a reason.

Starting point is 01:00:24 You're just panting because you run on four legs. That's weird. Tough to date someone with pants. I'm not talking about dating her. You need to shut the fuck up. You need to shut your fucking mouth right now. Imagine if I was laying on the couch. Just drooling and shit.

Starting point is 01:00:43 I just pitched this to Zach this idea and you know how dogs they don't they like instinctually don't like they don't like

Starting point is 01:00:54 chocolate right well that's not true they love chocolate I don't it makes them sick but like you know if you leave a pot

Starting point is 01:01:02 of brownies out your dog's eating it okay well my dog's eating it. Okay, well, my dog's pretty smart, and if I drop something, he knows not to eat. If I drop chocolate, he doesn't eat chocolate. The last two dogs I've had, I dropped chocolate, they won't eat chocolate. Were they trained by your parents to do that? No, they just instinctually ate it. Because my dog will eat anything in sight.

Starting point is 01:01:19 Yeah, my dog's chocolate. What was your stupid idea that's been proven wrong? All right, point is, if they are instinctually, which I think that they are, chocolate. What was your stupid idea that's been proven wrong? Point is if they are instinctually, which I think that they are, you take that genetic part that they can't eat chocolate. Give it to

Starting point is 01:01:35 you so you don't get fat? Yeah. I mean, that would be a great idea if it wasn't completely wrong. Yeah. If we didn't just disprove it with the quickness, then it would be a good idea. There's going to be people that are going to back me up

Starting point is 01:01:48 and they're going to say, no, there's not. There's not. What kind of dogs do you have? I had a gold, no, German Shepherd and then Golden Trigger. Yeah, no, I mean,

Starting point is 01:02:00 those dogs, I know both of those kind of dogs that have jumped up on a table and eaten like an entire chocolate cake. And they get sick from it, don't get me wrong. And even sometimes they, like, you know, I give my dog chocolate chip cookies all the time. I'll give you a little chocolate. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:14 It's just like one cookie. I'm not going to give them, like, a whole fucking thing to make them sick. It's like having a few drinks while pregnant. Yeah, for real. You can rip a couple sags, do a little math. It's not a big deal. I give Duncan milk. He sticks his snout in the cup and drinks the milk after it's amazing milk and cookies from being duncan is amazing we have like a moment together i'm like i'm like

Starting point is 01:02:32 take a bite i'm like there you go and then and then i'm drinking the milk and he's looking at me i'm like yeah there you go um you don't you don't go back to the milk after no no no heavens no no you can't share you remember he was eating Keegan's shit the other day. I'm not going back to that now. Yeah, no, you couldn't. What was your idea that you wanted to pitch? Well, she didn't want to pitch it because it was going to be a billion-dollar idea. Did you ever?

Starting point is 01:02:54 Well, I mean, I guess I was going to not pitch it. No, she said she almost told me she refused to do it on the podcast because it was going to give away the idea. And I said, you know what? That's what we do here. We give away good business ideas. Yeah, you guys do that. Yeah. My popcorn funnel guys do do that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:07 My popcorn funnel. Popcorn funnel. I like the name a lot. Thank you. Again, million, maybe billion dollar company. And when you said that, Nick shook his head. He was like, shut the fuck up about the popcorn funnel. He was so fed up with it. I already like a segment called Jackie pitches

Starting point is 01:03:26 business ideas but continue so or like late night Jackie high thoughts Jackie, Jackie business just Jackie thoughts Jackie thoughts dot com I think that you guys are going to like this one I love the name it might be the stupidest thing I've ever read

Starting point is 01:03:41 but you tell people like we got a popcorn funnel I'm interested popcorn very hard to eat with your hands no fingers are not made for popcorn It might be the stupidest thing I've ever read, but you tell people, like, we got a popcorn funnel. I'm interested. Exactly. Popcorn, very hard to eat with your hands. No. Fingers are not made for popcorn. Yeah. Wait, what? I don't struggle with that. I do the thing where you get a fifth

Starting point is 01:03:55 bowl and kind of do that. Which I don't love. It's like almost punching yourself in the face, but stopping right before. I don't know. Get that much popcorn in your mouth. You know what, John? Just maybe don't. Just maybe don't. I want a pitch net and you're taking away from your making it. I wish you were not on my side.

Starting point is 01:04:16 I'm kidding. Actually, he's my biggest fan. I honestly don't struggle that much about it. You put your whole fingers in your mouth. Yes, exactly. These are not problems I have. It's hard to eat, and then it falls on the floor,

Starting point is 01:04:26 and then you just have a bunch of popcorn on the floor. Boy, you guys are animals. Okay. So what, you put like a thing in? Yeah, so, so. Oh, come on. One end is like a spoon. Like a little cup.

Starting point is 01:04:38 Just enough for like a handful of popcorn. Okay. And then the other side, then it funnels into like a funnel that you just shoot straight into your mouth. So then you other side, then it funnels into like a funnel that you just shoot straight into your mouth. Well, that's what they use to put the popcorn in the thing. This already

Starting point is 01:04:51 exists. You just want to do it for your mouth. No, because there's not a spoon attached to it. I'll make a prototype. But you know what I'm talking about? They scoop it and they put it into the bag. So you want to be able to spoon it and put it in your mouth. well i mean so you explain like that like but you know what i mean so like they have the funnel and the bag

Starting point is 01:05:10 is your mouth essentially exactly right so you want to scoop it funnel it in it's more like i'm picturing like you know like like if you like throw have like those ball chuckers for your dog yes yes yes it's like that on the end. Like an ice cream scoop. Like an ice cream scoop, but then the other end is just like a little like, oh, I might not be speaking into the mic. I'm so sorry if I wasn't. It's like a funnel. Just like one of those things.

Starting point is 01:05:35 So it's like a dog thrower thing or a spoon. Spoon. Okay. I get it it I know exactly What you're talking about It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard

Starting point is 01:05:47 I don't I want to see I want to see the prototype I'll make a prototype I want to see the prototype My issue is that I just don't struggle With eating popcorn

Starting point is 01:05:55 The way you guys do So I cannot imagine Needing a device You're not John is the only one Who's getting part of my company Yeah I'll tell you what

Starting point is 01:06:03 If popcorn funnel Becomes a billion dollar idea And I'm on the outside i will kill myself with a popcorn funnel i will like jam it down my throat what about if it was just like a uh like an ice cream scoop and it even had you know the ice cream scoop has that thing that like kind of pushes it so you just scooped it and pushed up wait why don't you just eat it with a spoon i know don't get enough popcorn what you can't just spoon popcorn yeah but you're nuts don't you just eat it with a spoon? Don't get enough popcorn that way. What? You can't just spoon popcorn.

Starting point is 01:06:27 Don't be ridiculous, Kevin. But it's going to funnel down so that you only get a mouthful at every time. That's the whole point. Yeah, but a spoonful is not a mouthful. Get a big enough spoon. Nah, you can't put that in your mouth. If you get the right, it's going to be a little bit bigger than your average spoon. I understand what you mean, though.

Starting point is 01:06:46 You're right. It just needs a little bit. Like, it needs to be able to hold. It needs to have, like, a little bit of a roof. A spoon roof. But then, yeah, because you can't. So here's the thing. But then you can't fit the whole spoon in your mouth.

Starting point is 01:06:56 You have to stop saying spew. You have to stop saying Mario Mario. I don't have to do a fucking thing. My podcast. Jackie says spoon like her mom fucking paid for her to get into USC. Jackie says spoon like she faked a crew team. If you had a spoon roof, I've got it. I already figured it out.

Starting point is 01:07:25 And it's no longer a spoon funnel. It's no longer a popcorn funnel. It's something different. And I'm not going to say it because it's a billion dollar idea. It's like a spoon. It's got like a spoon that you scoop. And then a thing on top that holds it kind of. There's a device like this already.

Starting point is 01:07:42 But then you can't fit that all in your mouth. Yes, you can. You've got to make it the right size. But it holds the popcorn on the spoon. And then when you go up to your mouth, like the spoon, you know, the top goes away. You're saying spoon weird too. Spoon.

Starting point is 01:07:57 You don't really use an N. Spoon. Spoon. Spoon. Spoon. All right, thanks a lot to Kevin Clancy for stopping by. I don't know. I hope he listens to this.

Starting point is 01:08:14 All right, next up is going to be our top fives. We are going to do top fives just with the KFC Radio crew in here. We got Nick, Zach, and Jackie. We're going to do top five movie franchises, piggybacking a little bit off of the Barstool Post and Lights Camera Barstool Post about action franchises. We're expanding it to all franchises. But top five is brought to you by Miller Lite.

Starting point is 01:08:42 And Ricky, why don't you read it to them? Oh, well, hello, guys. How you doing there? Yeah, we got a good Miller Lite. Big fan out here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It's the best beer you got, right? It's great tasting. It's less filling.

Starting point is 01:08:57 I'll tell you what, one thing that's been real awkward about, you know, the pandemic, things opening up again, I forgot how to talk to people. I just don't remember at all. You know, I couldn't tell you what it's like to be talking to a fella not by the fishing hole. Tough one, Ricky. It's a fucking hard time out there. So what I like to do is I like to have a Miller Lite or two, right? Loosen up, get to see the fellas, see the boys, see what's going on, see little pucks,

Starting point is 01:09:19 see little fucking stuff. You know what I'm saying? You know what i'm saying you know what i mean it's only 96 calories 3.2 grams of carbs it's the best beer you'll ever have because i'll tell you what we just know how to brew up here we just know how to brew a beer that's what we do we do you know maryland they do their lacrosse their sack lunches their cheesecakes nope they don't do cheesecakes they do crab cakes though yeah they do not lacrosse, their sack lunches, their cheesecakes. Nope, they don't do cheesecakes. They do crab cakes, though. Yeah, they do. Not us in Milwaukee.

Starting point is 01:09:47 We do beers. We do baseball. We do fucking vision. What else do you do? And we do all kinds of things, but we just do beers. That's really the big one. We do a lot of beers. We do Callaway God Breaks.

Starting point is 01:10:01 We do all kinds of stuff, I tell you. But you can get yourself one you can get yourself two you can get yourself as many as you want as long as you do it responsibly it's either miller brewing company milwaukee wisconsin again it's 96 calories 3.2 grams of carbs go to millerlake.com slash kfc find delivery options nearest to you tell you oh we don't have them out on the lake gotta pick it up myself you. You know what I'm saying? But you can get it delivered right to your door, hopefully. Okay, top five.

Starting point is 01:10:28 Back to you, John. See the veins in your neck going on that one. Let's go. All right. All right. So top five. Are we doing everyone gets a list? Everyone gets a list. All right. top five. Are we doing everyone gets a list?

Starting point is 01:10:47 Everyone gets a list. Alright. Top five, everyone gets a fucking list. I don't really know. I was going to say, let's start with Jackie because I think she's not ready. Yeah, Jackie, go number one. Any movie that has at least two movies. Any movie franchise that has at least two movies.

Starting point is 01:11:02 Were we supposed to make lists before? Uh-huh. Oh, oh yeah we were supposed to it seems like you didn't, that's why you're going first ok Harry Potter hey there she is, look at Jack Jack very good that's a good one, I like to

Starting point is 01:11:19 try every time I have a real sick day I try and watch every single Harry Potter movie I've one time almost got through it. I was going to say, I think I've gotten five in a day. I've never done more than that. Oh, no. Were there seven of them? Eight.

Starting point is 01:11:31 Eight? Yeah. I've definitely done, I've got halfway through the last one. I want to say it's like 22 hours or something like that. Yeah. I fell asleep halfway through the last one. That's impressive. Devastating moment.

Starting point is 01:11:41 That was actually very recently, too. That was during quarantine. Okay, Zach, you're also ill-prepared, so you get to go second. Yeah, I am for sure not prepared. I also don't watch a lot of movies whatsoever. I'm not much of a movie guy. But I'll start with the Dark Knight franchise. Okay, fine.

Starting point is 01:11:59 Batman franchise. Batman, Batman, Dark Knight, yeah. Okay. Absolutely. There's really only one really good movie in that franchise, but I'll give it to you still. I mean, I just love, like, the Batcave and shit. I remember that's when I first saw it. I remember I used to go.

Starting point is 01:12:10 I went to the movies, like, three times to see that. Which one was it? It's the. The Batcave. That's Batman Begins. Batman Begins. Yes. Dark Knight Rises, right?

Starting point is 01:12:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, Batman is my favorite superhero character because he's the least relatable. They're actual aliens, and it's like. Yeah, right. No, exactly. Yeah. I mean, he's just rich superhero character because he's the least relatable like they're actual aliens and it's like yeah right no exactly yeah I mean he's just rich yeah he's crazy yeah well I like the viral meme that's been going around we're like what was it it's about Batman and Robin the George Clooney one and it's like it's like uh one guy wanted to cool the earth it's Mr. Freeze yeah she wanted to cool the earth. It's Mr. Freeze. Yeah. She wanted to help the rainforest and they wanted to, they wanted us to root for the trust fund. Right.

Starting point is 01:12:49 Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But I still root for him. So I laugh at the meme. I root for the billionaire.

Starting point is 01:12:54 It's what it is. All right. Uh, I'm going to take, if we're going just to move two movies, Blade Runner, just because Harrison Ford last night, Blade Runner.

Starting point is 01:13:03 Number one, Blade Runner. One is great. I haven't seen either. I was going to say. Yeah, I mean, one and two are awesome. So, yeah, Harrison Ford last night was just complimenting editors, and I was like... Harrison Ford at the Oscars was

Starting point is 01:13:15 a scene. I guess people say he was high. First of all, it's kind of bullshit he wasn't wearing his earring. Like, he didn't Morgan Freeman. You're both earring people. Fucking stick with it. But the... It was like watching it and being like boy that guy is about to start filming Indiana Jones and he's Indiana Jones yeah

Starting point is 01:13:33 he looked rough for that when he came out and like because at first when he was reading the notes I thought he was just doing his thing where he's being an asshole and it's just like oh no he's reading actual notes from like what a great shtick to have yeah oh yeah I like the guy last night who was like i brought notes sorry not all of us are actors or whatever and he just never read his notes and then gave a terrible speech yeah he just had his notes like pressed to his chest the whole time and like didn't even glance at him it

Starting point is 01:13:57 was like dude you're giving a bad speech use the fucking notes you were talking about also shout out lakee stanfield if we're doing a little Oscar stuff. Lakeith Stanfield showed up looking like a fucking G and then left once he realized it was dry. Getting your photos on the red carpet then just fucking bouncing. You guys aren't serving alcohol? Alright, I'm out of here. See you later. Unbelievable move. 10 out of 10. You know what I realized about the Oscars

Starting point is 01:14:18 is I thought that Tyler no, Tyler Perry was Steven Tyler. No. That's a big deal. I understand that they weren't the same person, obviously, but I just thought it was talking about Tyler Perry giving this great speech, and then I was picturing

Starting point is 01:14:34 Steven Tyler. No. Steven Tyler was picturing your weird aunt giving that speech. I was like, everyone was like, Tyler Perry for president, and I was like... I tweeted it last speech. I was like, everyone's like Tyler Perry for president. I tweeted it last night. I deleted it because I didn't want people

Starting point is 01:14:50 to get mad at me. Oh, I saw that. By the time I opened it, I was like, oh, it's gone. No one even said anything, but I was just like, you know what? It's not worth it. I think Tyler Perry has to be evil. He's just so good. He's just too good. He's too good. You have to be evil. Just because every other celebrity that's been that good like he's too good you have to be just because every other

Starting point is 01:15:06 celebrity that's been like that good it's like ah yeah and also like fuck you doing tyler perry what are you doing fucking getting a house from megan markle and prince harry he did they can afford it wait what do you i didn't know that he like put them up that's crazy like oh you see i read that in the news a while ago. Was also thinking it was Steve Jobs. He's like, why are you putting up a fucking royalty? Why are you putting up a prince and Meghan Markle? She was a fucking actress. She can get some of them.

Starting point is 01:15:37 It's almost like I'm fucking paying you off or something. I like Tyler Perry. There's something off about him. Also, what is the, like, relation? Like, why? Yeah, I guess, like, he's probably friends with Meghan Markle from Hollywood. I can't imagine he has much going on with the royals. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:15:52 Weird guy. Very unexpected. I mean, a nice guy, but a weird guy. That's also a proof positive why you just can't win in this world. I do everything perfectly. I'm really really nice and good and kind to people and I'm like, what are you hiding? What are you covering up there?

Starting point is 01:16:07 I don't really know. It's like, yeah, you just can't win. You can't win. Yeah. My brain is like, there's something fucking wrong. I don't really know if he cares about your opinion. Well, he should. We have 62,000 subscribers on YouTube.

Starting point is 01:16:20 Watch out. 70 by the end of the week. My number one is going to be... I actually let you guys all go first, hoping one of you took it so we could fight. My number one is going to be Fast and Furious. Oh, fuck. I should have done that. I would have sucked to fight you if I was...

Starting point is 01:16:37 I would have needed some hot water, but it was going to happen. When's a new one come out? End of January. I want to say January 26th january 26 28 something like that did you see oh i sent you the tweet the jurassic world possible crossover they're i mean they're just they're they're marketing geniuses because they're like yeah we'll do whatever we'll go to space we'll yeah no we'll fight dinosaurs well that's what i was saying they find the space time continuum go back in time fight dinosaurs perfect perfect they're gonna end up in the

Starting point is 01:17:01 avengers in like five years who wouldn't years. Who wouldn't watch it? Who wouldn't watch it? Also, if there is a live premiere of Fast and Furious, there's a premiere. I'm calling you right now. I'll be there. I will be at it. Fast and Furious is an open invitation to invite me if you care to. Otherwise, I will get myself in in a way that would make Dom proud. I'm going to sneak in like it's a Super Bowl.

Starting point is 01:17:28 I've snuck into fucking higher end places than the Fast and Furious franchise. I'll tell you that right now. I got kicked out of better places than that, too. Maybe not better places, but Jackie, number two. And you'd think that I would be thinking during this time

Starting point is 01:17:43 about what my number two is. I actually didn't. Exactly what we thought was going to happen, happened. Um, okay. Okay. So I tweeted at us the other day. That's like, I hope you all apologize to Jackie after recording. I'm like, for what? Jackie apologized to us for not being prepared.

Starting point is 01:18:01 Everybody in that sweatshirt I keep staring at. Is that Taco Bell? It is Taco Bell. Okay. Taco Bell. Cheesy Gordy. But you've never beenirt I keep staring at. Is that Taco Bell? It is Taco Bell. Okay, Taco Bell. But you've never been, right? I've never been to Taco Bell. Oh, fuck. You didn't have to do that. What do you got under there?

Starting point is 01:18:11 A Metallica t-shirt? I actually, no, I don't have a Metallica one, but I have a ACDC one and a Harley Davidson one. Ever been on a motorcycle? What? Ever been on a motorcycle? What? Everybody on a motorcycle? Maybe. You don't know.

Starting point is 01:18:29 Okay. Number two. James Bond. What's your favorite one? Okay. Okay. Hunger Games. Hunger Games.

Starting point is 01:18:43 Are you more of a Pietro? No. Pietro or Pieto? Pita Or are you Katniss? Are we going to discuss how wrong you were on that? Pietro? Pietro I was thinking of WandaVision Got her

Starting point is 01:19:01 Team, well, Gale I don't know. Second favorite franchise of all time. Yeah, you're really good. Jackie would die. I'm just going to start going after yours. I like that. I respect that.

Starting point is 01:19:18 Zach. Shout out to Robbie Fox who did Star Wars. You're a Star Wars guy? I actually do really love Star Wars like I'm not like when I say that in this company then I get railroaded

Starting point is 01:19:29 so I can't do that because obviously I'm not like I don't know all of the lore you either have to know none of it or all of it or like people will fucking come in yeah exactly

Starting point is 01:19:37 but do I like it yes it was the second whatever trilogy great no obviously not but I actually really fuck with the most recent one that's I mean

Starting point is 01:19:44 I think that was a fun like I wasn't actually really fuck with the most recent one. I think that was a fun... I wasn't expecting anything... With Ray. What's his face? Adam Driver and shit. Adam Driver, yeah. Yeah, no, great. Star Wars. Put it on the board.

Starting point is 01:19:59 We're going Lord of the Rings, though. I haven't seen all of those either. Robbie shits on them them which is the one thing that i'm like that's the one bad take you have lord of the rings like that's the first one i grew up with where i don't know it was like more intense action series and yeah i we used to play the video games and all that shit all the time love that series i was gonna say the video game video games of lord of the rings yeah oh yeah the uh the two towers one was fucking impossible to beat the last level to this day.

Starting point is 01:20:25 I don't think I could do it. Harder than the fucking... Actually, you guys are probably too young for Lion King. Not Lion King. Yeah, Lion King. Simba got a jump from draft to draft. What? I don't know if I've had that one.

Starting point is 01:20:38 You guys don't know that level? Was that a place? It's like the second level in the Lion King video game on Sega, I believe. It was fucking bullshit. He had to jump from draft side to draft side as young simba and it was goddamn impossible it was the stupidest fucking level i in fact delete this so game time doesn't know to make us play because i'll punch a hole in the fucking wall have you ever played the n64 superman no i don't think i ever had n64 it's quite literally the hardest first level ever that, like, they had to apologize for the game, like, completely.

Starting point is 01:21:08 Nobody could get past level one. Really? That's what this is like. You have to do it so perfectly, and, like, you get to level two, and it's just as hard, and everyone's like, what the fuck is this? Like, just make it so we can get through this. Yeah, it's trash. Okay, my turn. I'm going to go Mission Impossible.

Starting point is 01:21:26 Fucking Ethan Hunt. That's fucking what I was going to say next. Is it? Well, not because I haven't watched it because I was going to take it from you. Yeah, you mean Ethan Hunt. Can't go wrong with Ethan Hunt. 10 out of 10. Every movie is awesome.

Starting point is 01:21:39 I think MI2 gets some shit. That's got Zoe Zaldana in it, so it can't be bad. I thought it was Tandy Newton. Tandy Newton. I mixed them up. She changed her name now. Is this your second favorite franchise and you don't know the characters?

Starting point is 01:21:56 I forgot the actor in the second one. I could name all the fucking movies. Isn't that where Michelle Monaghan's possible? There's a Fallout in there somewhere. 7, I think. Yeah, 7's Fallout. I think it's called Mission Impossible 7 Fallout. Yeah, yeah, it is. They're all M.I.

Starting point is 01:22:12 Okay. I have a list of like 12 I am running thin right now. I know, me too. Jackie, go. Have you ever watched a movie? I said I'm not a big movie guy. I just don't see why you've ever watched a movie? I said I'm not a big movie guy. I just don't see why you've ever watched a movie. A movie.

Starting point is 01:22:27 You mean a... Oh, yes, but I don't dabble in movies that much. Movies? I'm trying to get it. Is Pirates of the Caribbean on your list? Sure is, yeah. Okay, Pirates of the Caribbean. Caribbean.

Starting point is 01:22:45 Caribbean. I said Caribbean. of the Caribbean. Caribbean. Caribbean. I said Caribbean. Okay. I said Caribbean. Which of your movie in that one? Pirates of the Caribbean 1. Want a fun fact

Starting point is 01:22:54 about Pirates of the Caribbean? I believe that one's called, no, that one's not Dead Man's Chest. Pirates of the Caribbean is just Pirates of the Caribbean. I think Dead Man's Chest is later.

Starting point is 01:23:01 Fun fact about that movie is that people always think that Johnny Depp or Jack Sparrow is drunk. Oh, it's a sea leg. I guess I told that one on the podcast. Yeah, you did, yeah. That's where I've learned half these fun facts. But is this one of those fun facts that you read one place?

Starting point is 01:23:20 Yep. They all lie. Fun facts get less fun if you research them. I remember yesterday when I was taking a shower. Weird. But remember how we had like, this is off topic, but that's what this show does. That's what the show is. No, exactly.

Starting point is 01:23:35 I'm aware. That question that was like, what have you learned from KFC Radio or whatever? And I was like, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. It's your advice about doing cold at the end of your hot shower to get over a hangover. That was a big one. I think I'm sure I've told this story at that time. The very first KFC Radio Live with Caroline's, I think, might even have been the saloon, me and Dan were sharing a hotel room.

Starting point is 01:24:01 And I was a little hungover before it. And so at the end end i turned it freezing cold like centimeter from being off and i was in the shower going then i came out and then didn't say anything and then i was like nothing huh and he's like honestly i just thought you were coming i was like now I need to hear Dan come that's something like even remotely audible if you didn't say anything he was just gonna go on

Starting point is 01:24:32 believing that yeah I guess so I don't know it was like yeah of course I just figured you were coming like like a fucking cartoon like who comes like that it's up to you that he just like thought that that's how you that's how like Jackie That's how Jackie's fucking neighbor's boy toy comes.

Starting point is 01:24:49 Okay. Wait. Not my turn. It was literally just your turn. You can't decide on any of them, but then all of a sudden jumps it. There you go.

Starting point is 01:25:03 I will do... I don't know, any movies. Like I do, I know all of these, but I'm going to go Toy Story. I'm really all over the place. I saw that on the list. That's a good one. I just keep stealing yours, huh? No, no, I didn't have that on my list.

Starting point is 01:25:15 I saw it on the, when you Google franchises. It's the second one. That's exactly what I'm doing. Yes. Yeah, no, Toy Story, obviously classic. Has anyone here seen the fourth one? Is it? No.

Starting point is 01:25:26 I just assume it's trash but it's probably good no it's awesome I haven't seen I don't think I've seen three or four I don't even remember three is fucked up man

Starting point is 01:25:35 it's just they're about to fucking kill them all off and they let you believe it for a minute like there's kids in the theater just fucking pouring tears

Starting point is 01:25:42 and it's like a fucking cloth spoiler alert I don't know I don't think that matters are we talking about Toy Story yeah And there's kids in the theater just fucking pouring tears. And it's like a fucking Kloss. Spoiler alert. I don't think that matters. Are we talking about Toy Story? I've seen all of them. Sorry.

Starting point is 01:25:52 But I just wanted to put that in there. I'm so happy for you, Jackie. I just wanted to get that in there. I'm going to go the X-Men franchise. The original three, really. I thought those were good. I mean, Bryan Singer kept trying to direct more and more and getting crazier and crazier and they kind of fell off but yeah the i think the past the ones that go back to like days of future past that's a fucking i know that's a comic book name but like that's a ridiculous thing yeah even for comic book standards um okay my turn i will go i am

Starting point is 01:26:22 gonna take this is this might be the pick of the draft right here third round pick what's up jack ryan oh i haven't seen that and i do i get all of them right yeah wait there are jack ryan movies too oh yeah and they're fucking awesome i do alec baldwin is jack ryan for one um harrison ford is jack ryan for three i I believe. Chris Pine is Jack Ryan for one. And then John Krasinski is obviously Jack Ryan for two so far. That's for the TV series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, I mean, it's a franchise.

Starting point is 01:26:53 Yeah. Right? Oh, shit. I don't know if that plays. I think that plays. This is a franchise. And whether or not I get Jack Ryan from Amazon, that's fine. I like it anyway.

Starting point is 01:27:02 But I do believe I get Jack Ryan from Amazon. Alright. I actually watched one the other night, Patriot Games. I fell asleep in it Friday night. Or maybe Thursday night. I've heard of Patriot Games before. Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger. Oh, see, I've heard all of these by...

Starting point is 01:27:20 They're not called Jack Ryan movies. That's why. Alright, got it. They're Jack Ryan movies. I think that's an All right. Got it. They're Jack Ryan movies. It's awkward. Pick Johnny. Okay. I guess we'll give it to him. Jackie's elected herself commissioner of top five.

Starting point is 01:27:38 I guess we'll give it to him. These are just movies. This is a movie franchise. You haven't seen any of the movies you've chosen. I saw Hunger Games. I guarantee You haven't seen any of the movies you've chosen. I saw Hunger Games. I guarantee you didn't see all of them. I will trade you fast.

Starting point is 01:27:53 I haven't seen all of them. I will trade you fast and furious. Jackie, you better be back up a four. A one for a four? I actually didn't have anything to end that sentence. I just kind of wanted to see if you were even like open to the idea. Honestly, I'll give it to you for

Starting point is 01:28:13 $10,000. Okay, for $10,000. You think I win? I'll give it to you for a roll in the hay with a Turkish woman. I'm also living with that. Turns out she's slapping him. You're just going to come in fucking bruised.

Starting point is 01:28:29 Even better. Sorry. And I'm thinking. And... Okay. Divergent. Divergent? That didn't even finish the franchise.

Starting point is 01:28:46 They stopped making them. You guys have an issue with all of my picks. Because they're all bad picks. They literally went, ah, we're good. I don't even know what Divergent is. It's similar to Maze Runner. Is that Maze Runner?

Starting point is 01:29:01 No, Maze Runner is different. Maze Runner they also didn't finish, right? No, Maze Runner they finished. Dylan O' one with – Maze Runner they also didn't finish, right? This is the one with – no, Maze Runner they finished. Dylan O'Brien got in a car accident, so they deleted it. But they brought him back. But no, this is the one that Aaron Rodgers' wife was in. And they did like two out of three. And they're just like, nah. We're not going to put the budget into this last movie.

Starting point is 01:29:23 Like that stuff. That is – Who's the really hot guy? Dylan O'Brien. nah I'm like we're not gonna put the budget into this last movie like that stuff that is it has who's the really hot guy um Dylan O'Brien no no

Starting point is 01:29:30 Maze Runner which is a I was gonna say we've talked no one's picked that well maybe I will in a little bit

Starting point is 01:29:38 we'll see um you I'm gonna take that just to block you I'm like maybe you should take it now cause you don't seem to have anything else you can take it if I can have Fast and Furious

Starting point is 01:29:49 pass yeah okay yeah that's it choosing Divergent or sticking with the one that didn't finish fine fine I'm just trying to clarify I'm choosing

Starting point is 01:30:03 is Raiders of the Lost Ark on your list? No, because it's not a movie franchise. Yeah, no. What? Oh, I guess it's not. You should be Indiana Jones. Yeah, there it is. Fuck, that should be on my list.

Starting point is 01:30:15 Indiana Jones. Fuck. Indiana Jones, good pick, Jeff. Great, good pick. Which one's your favorite there? Indiana Jones 1. You literally just said it Raiders of the Lost Ark

Starting point is 01:30:28 there you go okay okay in my defense when I type in movie franchises Raiders of the Lost Ark comes up as number one okay that's actually the final

Starting point is 01:30:36 not the final movie but that was the last in the original Indiana Jones okay fuck that's mine first of all do you know there's eight Shrek movies?

Starting point is 01:30:48 What? Are they including like Puss in Boots and all that shit? Maybe But I'm looking at it There were two of those Puss in Boots, his co-star, Kitty Softballs Great name Kitty Softballs?

Starting point is 01:31:00 Softballs? I was supposed to like Kitty Testicular Cancer Jesus Christ Soft paws. Soft paws. Soft balls. As opposed to what? As opposed to like kitty testicular cancer? Jesus Christ. Yeah, my phone's not working. I will go, not Shrek, I'll go The Hangover franchise.

Starting point is 01:31:15 Oh, good one. A little comedy in the mix. Yeah. All right. So I'm confused. At what point, like I can't just take MCU, right? No, but like I would say

Starting point is 01:31:24 Avengers, Iron Man. Yeah, I think Avengers is one of my favorite movie franchises of all time. I saw all of them in theaters. I'm still... This motherfucker, during Infinity War, sat next to me, went to a 3 a.m. showing, had his phone on during it, somehow getting blown up, getting texted the entire time. You are. To this day, I am

Starting point is 01:31:45 furious at this motherfucker. Because then he finally silenced it and he had the fucking light on. And it's like, Tony Stark gets stabbed and then it's just like, and at this point, he's asleep. He's asleep? He's asleep. You gotta throw his phone.

Starting point is 01:32:00 I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I'm like, it's a really dramatic part of the movie, and he's just ruining it. To this day, I'm a little salty about it. I can tell. It's well-deserved. But yeah, that's probably my favorite movie franchise. Theater movie franchise. Why didn't you say that for number one?

Starting point is 01:32:18 I was figuring that you'd say that for number one. I didn't know what the... I don't know. I wanted to try to pick off some other stuff first. All right. My number four is going to be the New England Patriots Super Bowl. No, no. We're not allowed to do that.

Starting point is 01:32:33 It's a six franchise run. Yeah. I think that counts. Oh, it counts. It's going on the fucking list. No one else here is commissioner. I am commissioner. This counts. It's going on the fucking list. No one else here is commissioner. I am commissioner. This counts.

Starting point is 01:32:49 Okay. How about... Again, I'm not even naming anything that I've seen. I'm just going through the list that I've seen. We got that after the first round. What about Transformers? Great one. That's a good one.

Starting point is 01:33:08 You haven't seen any of those? Did you like Mark Wahlberg or Shyamore? I have the one with Megan Fox a while ago. Great one. Which issue? She's wearing white jeans throughout the whole thing, and her jeans are white throughout the whole movie. They don't get dirty?

Starting point is 01:33:22 They don't get dirty. Terrible continuity. Michael Bay, what are you doing? I'm really running out of ones that I can even remotely talk about. If my five gets to me, it's going to be crazy. I mean, it probably will, John.

Starting point is 01:33:41 There's just so many. I don't want to look at the list on Google. I know. I'm trying to lose my looking in. Was that the fifth? Are we on four? This is five. That was your fifth, no? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:56 Jackie, do you remember any of your picks so far? Yeah, one. There it is. Was? Harry Potter 2. I don't know because you guys made me change all of it. We didn't make you change it.

Starting point is 01:34:11 We just belittled you. I'm excited to see how the camera cutting went. It's so bad. I'm so sorry. I probably should have went over there fuck Planet of the Apes oh what a twist fuck that's a good one

Starting point is 01:34:33 that's a good one yeah good job Zach which one was your favorite I've seen I honestly have I've seen like one or two but I can't tell you

Starting point is 01:34:41 which one it was I mean the new ones are fucking awesome yeah I know exactly yes that's I've seen one or two of those. So, yeah, great film, Zach. Oh, God, yeah. Turn and produce, too?

Starting point is 01:34:51 Of course. Company, yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. That's what was going through my mind. A company guy. That's what, yeah. All right. I don't know if anyone else has seen this, but Underworld.

Starting point is 01:35:02 Underworld. Kate Beckinsale, fucking just vampires. Basically the only thing beckinsale fucking just vampires basically the only thing kate beckinsale's ever done yeah she's done like 10 of them and they're they're just they're like the stuff that you talk about that you like where it's like this is just gonna be fun this is fun yeah that's what movies are supposed to be it's supposed to be fun um i this can't have gotten to me after 20 picks. I must have just missed someone picking it. James Bond? Jackie picked it and then we buried her for it.

Starting point is 01:35:30 You pick James Bond and we made fun of her? Yeah. Because she's never seen it. Because she has no idea. Oh, okay. Yeah. So yeah, I take James Bond. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:35:39 You asked her which one's your favorite. This is infuriating. How is it infuriating? If you had just said anything, you could have just said the name of a movie. I'd be like, okay, good pick.

Starting point is 01:35:53 Yeah, James Bond. Who's your favorite Bond? My favorite Bond? Yeah. Easy, Daniel Craig. Oh, yeah. I mean, I love Pierce Brosnan. To be honest,

Starting point is 01:36:00 I haven't seen many of the Connery ones. I was never a big Brosnan guy. I saw all the Connery growing up, so I love those. I think Daniel Craig is 10 out of 10. He's so fucking good. I don't think I've seen many of the Connery ones. I was never a big Brosnan guy. I saw all the Connery growing up, so I love those. I think Daniel Craig is 10 out of 10. He's so fucking good. I don't think I've seen any of the Daniel Craig ones.

Starting point is 01:36:10 What? Yeah. Really? I'm going to go do that tonight. Yeah, you should. Start with, I think, Skyfall is the first one. I was going to say, I think Skyfall starts with. Skyfall's dope.

Starting point is 01:36:20 Skyfall, just for a record. Spectre does not get a lot of love That's Rami Malek? No, Rami Malek's the new one, that's Time to Die That hasn't come out yet The Or No Time to Die The, what's the other one?

Starting point is 01:36:37 It's Skyfall Skyfall, Spectre The one with Javier Bardem is fucking sick I like them all, but there are two of them that are not as well received as the others. Skyfall and Casino Royale are the two really well liked. Casino Royale was the first one.

Starting point is 01:36:54 Are the two really well liked ones. And then Spectre and I don't remember the other one, but neither of them are too well received. But I think they're all awesome. Which one is the one where he gets turned away from? He's fired from being 00 or something and fights way back. Is that one of the good ones?

Starting point is 01:37:12 No, that's the one with fucking... Who's the guy from... When does Anna Darmus pop in? In Glorious Bastards. Who's the guy from Glorious Bastards? Oh, yeah, yeah. That one wasn't well received, right? Yeah, that's the one he's... Christoph Waltz. Christoph Waltz, yeah. That's the one wasn't well received right yeah that's when he's christoph

Starting point is 01:37:25 waltz christoph waltz yeah that's when he's that's when i think he gets cut or whatever yeah i remember seeing like the promo for that and then immediately hearing like ah that was that was fine i mean i remember reading a uh like probably a year ago now uh an interview with daniel craig about no time to die and he was was saying that this is the first one where they had a script before showing up on set. All the other ones, he's like, half of them don't even have a story, and you can tell. I've gone back to watch them after that interview,

Starting point is 01:37:56 and you can certainly tell. You're like, oh, yeah, this is just chaos. They got the song. They got the name. They'll figure it out along the way. Right. Well, okay. Now time to get into our voicemails.

Starting point is 01:38:08 Kevin is back for those. Voicemails. They're brought to you by One Championship. One Championship is the world's biggest martial arts organization. I don't even know what accent I'm doing. I don't know. I was going to try it. I'm going to try it again.

Starting point is 01:38:25 One Championship, the world's biggest martial arts. I'm doing. I don't know. I was going to try it again. One championship, the world's biggest martial arts. I'm like Scottish. You're going Schwarzenegger almost. I'm Austrian. No, I'm trying to do. What is this? This is this. What is happening here?

Starting point is 01:38:39 What is this all about? What is this? What is this all about? Well, I'll tell you what it is about. It is about one championship. The world's biggest martial arts organization. It is on TNT to end April with a bang!

Starting point is 01:38:51 A bang, bang, bang! This Wednesday, this very Wednesday now, at 10pm Eastern and Pacific, not at Eastern and Pacific, but 10pm Eastern and then whatever math that time is on Pacific. You don't want to miss the action, Pat.

Starting point is 01:39:09 One on TNT IV. Four, I think, is what that means. It is Roman numerals. We do not like your Romans. It's the best fights. The best fights are on Wednesday nights. It's immediately, immediately after A and E after AEW Dynamite. The main event is one of the biggest rivalries in one history has come to a head as one light heavyweight world champion and main amount sporting icon, Ong La Seng, defends his belt against the former one middleweight champion

Starting point is 01:39:46 Vitaly Bigdash. Vitaly Bigdash is my brother. The co-main event, the underground king, Eddie Alvarez, makes a quick turnaround as his controversial DQ loss at one on TNT won. He takes a shot at redemption

Starting point is 01:40:02 against dangerous Korean striker, OK Ryu. If you know him from video game, that's OK. He now fights in one championship. One on TNT4 as this Wednesday night, right after AEW Dynamite at 10 p.m. Eastern Pacific time. Catch the prelims at 8.30 p.m., 5.30 p.m. Pacific Time on Bleacher Report. The last fight on Wednesday night.

Starting point is 01:40:33 Voicemails. Hey, KFC. Kevin, hello. This is a question brought to you by 3G. I was doing some thinking, and it's a question about, you know, kind of ropes together aliens and deep ocean and shipwrecks. And so I was just thinking, you know, the deepest part of the ocean, maybe that's where aliens are living. But if you think about it, a shipload of ships would have sunk down there, you know, during World War II.

Starting point is 01:41:03 That's the deepest part of the ocean. And so they see all the shipwrecks down there. And so maybe they're watching like that by seeing the shipwrecks come down and seeing the people as they look and they say, oh, no, these people are doing something up there. And so it got me to thinking is my question is, what is the most fucked up thing you could possibly imagine to find at the bottom of the ocean i know it's too deep we never been down there but you gotta find either a bunch of aliens or a bunch of we definitely have gone down to the bottom right mariana's trench

Starting point is 01:41:34 i mean i know that the mariana's trench is the lowest maybe maybe we haven't gone down there i think we've sent things down there i don't know if people have gone down but i think we've seen what's down there i don't know how we got... The question is just a very like, what do you think the creatures think about in the ocean? We went to World War II. We went to aliens. We did it all. I have said before, when we find

Starting point is 01:41:54 some of the animals, the fish that we found at the bottom of the sea, there's that one that they always show that has the gnarly teeth with the little antenna thing with the light. If we found that on another planet, we'd be like, that that's an alien we found it here on our planet we're just like oh that's a fish whatever yeah it's just crazy i mean i know that means that there would be that's like there's life on other planets and that's the big deal but i'm saying when you see like a gnarly looking alien thing that's like drawn in a movie it's like yeah those exist on

Starting point is 01:42:21 the planet earth they're right yeah that's what they used to inspire the monsters in movies. Right. So, I mean, that is what, like, what's the craziest thing in the bottom of the ocean? That fucking animal. But if you're talking about, like, from up here, that would, like, get down there? In elementary school. The whole fucking school sucked. Like? Like a mudslide.

Starting point is 01:42:43 There's even, like, drawings on the chalkboard. Oh, you mean like they just lived down there or started school? You just saw school. Like Atlantis is down there and they just have mermaids that are in class. Yep. And you go down to the bottom of the ocean and you've just got class in session. I think if you went down to the ocean and you found a Spencer's Gifts, you'd be fucking horrible.

Starting point is 01:42:58 Yeah. That would be the weirdest thing to find out. That would be the weirdest thing. Weirder than that, I think would be something normal. Like be the weirdest thing weirder than that i think would be something normal like if you went down to the bottom of the ocean and you found a restoration hardware like spencer's is all these crazy shit if it was just like you got to get some like nice decor for your home for your ocean home yeah you know you walk in there's a fucking hand sanitizer right by there. You're like, what the fuck is going on? That COVID down in the ocean? This is crazy.

Starting point is 01:43:30 I love your brain. Spencer's Gifts. There's a bunch of Jenna Jameson posters and fucking smiley face dildos. Shot glasses that say fuck off. Weed posters. Black light weed. The posters that are kind of fuzzy that you can touch. Weed posters, you know, like black light weed. The posters that are like kind of fuzzy that you can like touch.

Starting point is 01:43:49 You know what I mean? That place rules. Just a bunch of fish staring at this poster. I can't get it. Spencer's gifts. I don't see that. I don't see that. You got to fucking focus your eyes. Unfocus.

Starting point is 01:44:00 Focus again. Spencer's is awesome, man. Spencer's was. That plays rules. That was the spot. It was a little bit sexy. It was a little bit dangerous. And it felt cool. Felt like I should wear these shirts. I remember I saw one time in like 5th grade. I saw

Starting point is 01:44:17 an idiot card. And it was how do you keep an idiot busy for hours? And it was like tell him to keep an idiot busy for hours? And it was like, tell him to flip this card. And I flipped it over and it said, flip this card. And I flipped it over and I was like, this is the peak of comedy.

Starting point is 01:44:32 Yeah, I mean, that was amazing. That thing was so fucking clever. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It is an idiot card that you just keep flipping. Do you get it? Do you get why this is so funny? I'm like grabbing a friend. Do you get it? Do you get why this is so funny? I'm like grabbing a friend. Do you fucking get how funny this is?

Starting point is 01:44:49 Get over here. Stop looking at Jen Love Brianna. Fucking look at this card. They didn't sell porn, right? No. Well, I mean, they sell dildos. No, they didn't sell porn. No.

Starting point is 01:44:58 Dildos and scantily clad posters. That was their niche. They carved out. Now, Spencer's versus Hot Topic. What do you got? I really very rarely ventured into Hot Topic. I was scared of it. Yeah, Hot Topic always, the cashier always had, like, the septum piercing and, like, the wide earlobe things.

Starting point is 01:45:19 And, like, they were scary people. I've probably been into one Hot Topic in my lifetime. I've been into haunted houses, not the game ones that you pay five bucks and I've broken into haunted houses. I've done... I've gone astray of the

Starting point is 01:45:36 law a time or two. I've been to prison. I haven't been to prison. I've been to jail. And to this day, the scariest thing is 13-year-old me seeing that versus like oh boy you see they've rebranded hot topic what is it it's fucking gen z those goddamn pussies can't deal with the red blood letters and the fucking gates of hell right now it's very it's very fucking benign i mean like anything a hot topic was almost like pitch black when you walked into

Starting point is 01:46:01 it i feel like you walked through those beads or sometimes they had big black curtains and I feel like you walked into a crack den. Yeah, we are. Oh my heavens to Betsy. We built different. That does not even... You don't even deserve the title.

Starting point is 01:46:20 That should be called Luke Warm Topic. That's a fucking peer one. For real. This's a pack son that's what this is fuck off hot topic you sell out pussies that's hot topic that's hot topic right there fucking scary as shit this thing right here please i bet that you don't even have fucking septum piercings and fucking vagina tattoos yeah they don't they don't even check your genitals to see if they're tatted up before you get employment there next up what's up guys first time caller long time listener kfc i was listening to you on the rundown saying there's an only fans girl who was getting 50 000 dick pics'm just wondering, what do you guys think is worse,

Starting point is 01:47:06 being the ex-boyfriend of that girl or being the dad slash the parents? I'd love to hear your input. Thanks. Okay, so the story was this girl went on OnlyFans. Her boyfriend was like, oh yeah, like fuck you, we're breaking up, and I bet you're going to make an OnlyFans, and she did. And she's like one of the best earners on there. And actually she's not, and I was going to just an OnlyFans. And she did. And she's like one of the best earners on there. And actually she's not. And I was going to just say and give it to her.

Starting point is 01:47:28 People need to understand when people are like I'm in the top 1% of OnlyFans, that means you just put out the most. When people say they're the top 1 creator, that means you're just hoeing it up and you put out like tons of videos every day. That doesn't mean people are watching and paying for it. Correct. Just don't be duped. I think people are duped. I think that's exactly what it says. duped. I think people are duped. I don't think it's duping. I think that's exactly what it says.

Starting point is 01:47:47 Yeah, but I think these people are, like, you can be the top 1% creator and not make any money. Correct. Right. But I don't think people think that. It's not like you're, you know, you put out a podcast every day

Starting point is 01:47:56 and no one listens to it. Right, but I don't think people think that. I think when people see top 1% of OnlyFans, they're like, oh, this chick's rich. It's like, not necessarily. Right, right. You could be putting out, you could be gross.

Starting point is 01:48:04 You could be this Disney World girlfriend of mine. So who would be worse? The ex-boyfriend? Or the dad? This is just a generic question of what's worse? If a girl's kind of hoeing it up and it's the ex-boyfriend or the dad's more embarrassed?

Starting point is 01:48:21 I wouldn't be either one. Oh, I mean it's the dad. more embarrassed. I wouldn't be either one. Oh, I mean, it's the dad by a mile. I guess. By 100,000 million light years. I don't really have the dad gene. No, but you can put yourself in those shoes. Come on. Like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:48:37 Also, she's just getting dick pics. No one even knows about that. That's a weird thing to specify about receiving them. I mean, if the question is just like – She gets – the thing about like the dad thing here. Like guess what? Everyone gets dick pics. She's getting paid for it.

Starting point is 01:48:51 Yeah. Like if I was a dad, like if you're a dad, understand your daughter is getting dick pics. Might as well have her get paid for it. No. No. I think I'd rather like pretend to live in a world where like the dick pics are coming in and she just leaves them on read. Like doesn't even, you know, leaves them on read. And like, why does this guy know how many fucking dick pics she has?

Starting point is 01:49:12 I think he, she said it. She was like her aunt, her, her quote was what you said. She was like, I've gotten 10,000 dick pics in my lifetime. I might as well get paid to receive them. So like, yeah, you can definitely take that angle where it's like boss bitch get get money but um i think i'd rather live in a world where it's like you know i'll give you money and you don't look at random dicks all day long how about that yeah i mean that's i guess i don't know i don't have a stronger opinion on this one i don't i don't think

Starting point is 01:49:41 i think i think that i think this guy's weird i I think the caller's weird. I don't think so. I think it's a weird question. Who's more embarrassed? I don't know. I think you're living in a world... That's a modern take, and I understand it, but there's something definitely about... You don't want your daughter to be a sex worker.

Starting point is 01:49:59 Okay, so one I can definitively speak to, I do not give a shit if any of my ex-girlfriends have 10,000 dick pics on their OnlyFans. The ex-boyfriend, I don't get. I mean, I guess if you're still in love with her and she's just like flaunting. I don't know. The OnlyFans thing really doesn't bother me as an ex-boyfriend. I think it's worse if it's like a guy that she likes. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:50:21 Yeah. If you were in love with a girl, she was like, I've moved on from you. And I fucked this like one guy who I love and he's better than you and you're just like oh i wish we were still together versus like i make money from random internet strangers because it's like she doesn't care about them or like them or anything you know what i mean now father and daughter i think you know we can i want to i want to be a supportive dad i want to be like progressive and know that my daughter is going to be is going to date boys and have sex eventually

Starting point is 01:50:48 but like but I'm also real about it and I don't want that to happen and I don't want to work on OnlyFans that's just a fucking fact I don't want my daughter on OnlyFans that is a take that will age very good forever and ever go ahead next so I was wondering if I'm the asshole for this situation.

Starting point is 01:51:08 So every time I have to walk my dogs in my apartment complex, I have to take each of them out separately. So when I'm switching it, even if I know there's a line downstairs waiting to get back up because people are riding the elevator with the dog because God knows fucking why. Anyway, does it make me the asshole that every time i go up i hit the floors above me to make sure the elevator goes up and then comes right

Starting point is 01:51:30 back down making everyone at the bottom of the elevator wait for me just so i can switch my dogs i like to wait long this is a slick move i don't understand why he has to walk his dog separately but if you if you know that you're going to hit your floor and you're going to be in and out and you don't want it to go all the way back up so you send it a few floors above and then can catch it on the way back down, you're inconveniencing people at the bottom

Starting point is 01:51:53 for a few seconds or minutes, but that's a slick move. I think you're a revolutionary. I think that's genius. That's brilliant. I would tend to... What I used to do... A revolutionary. John was very impressed. what I used to do. A revolution. John was very impressed. Because I used to like, it wasn't a regular thing, but moving out or something like that,

Starting point is 01:52:12 I'll just put something in front of the elevator and go grab a few bags and come back. Which is, I guess, the same thing, but it's hard. You don't have something to sit by the elevator at all times. When you're moving, you do. But when you're just kind of dropping your dog off, that's brilliant. Brilliant, brilliant stuff. And when you put something in the doorway, sometimes it closes and hits it or the beep starts to go off or whatever. If this is like, I know that I need 90 seconds to get in and out with my dogs.

Starting point is 01:52:40 And if I send it five floors up, that's enough time. Brilliant. Yeah. That must have been a fun experimentation. Yeah, like if you hit the 15th floor, it's too long. 12th floor is too short. Yeah, you got to find the sweet spot. This is like when you order DoorDash to arrive at the same time as you at your house,

Starting point is 01:52:59 but on a smaller level and in an even more creative way. This is brilliant. I have nothing to say like this is like it's like you have a hundred out of the test and if the people at the uh down the lobby are caught on to this and are mad at you like oh that guy's sending the elevator up i'd be like stop me catch me if you can motherfuckers figure out a way to stop me all right thank you very much for kevin clancy coming by doing voicemails on here on kfc radio um the uh up next is our interview with dean norris you may know him as hank schrader or art

Starting point is 01:53:32 dugan on the new cbs show thursday nights at 8 30 united states of al this interview was brought to you by shady rays bro i cannot tell you how hella sick these fucking shades are, dude. They're just, they're fucking awesome. And, you know, like, look, there's all kinds of styles, whatever you want, man. If you're a fucking surfer, you're a fisher, you're a boater, you're a driver, you're a skater. Doesn't matter, dude. Whatever you want, Shady Rays has a fucking style that will fit your needs, man. And here's the deal.

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Starting point is 01:56:14 Buy one, get one free. Get two pairs for $48. That's crazy, dude. That's so crazy. I'm forgetting to speak in my accent. That's co-KFC. ShadyRays.com. You're fucking in my accent. That's co KFC shady rays.com. You're fucking welcome, bro. Yeah, I got you. How are you doing?

Starting point is 01:56:36 What's that smile, man? You're always you're always all smiles, huh? How's it been? It's been a little while since we last talked, but you really do seem to be always in a pretty good mood. I guess I guess things are going good, huh? Things are going good. You know, it's fun to be on a comedy because, yeah, you go to work every day and you just chit chat, laugh and, you know, make people imagine a little bit lighter of a of a set and a situation than some of the past jobs you've done? Yeah, to say the least, man, yeah. Instead of being all grumpy and, you know, crazy or whatever I have to be. Does that kind of shit take its toll? Like when you were at the peak of Breaking Bad where Hank is injured and, you know, grumpy and fighting with his wife

Starting point is 01:57:22 and hunting his brother-in-law? I mean, does that actually weigh on you or is it just like, ah, that's just work? Yeah, it did. You know, it was, uh, it was, uh, it did cause you're doing that for 14 hours and you're trying to stay in the, you know, in the zone there. And, uh, yeah, it gets a little depressing. Yeah. You look real depressed.

Starting point is 01:57:45 We had, uh, We had Cranston on, and he was talking about how sometimes he would have to wrap his head, his whole face and everything, in a hot cloth and just sit in his trailer. He said he would literally try to wash away the day's work. The toxins of the scene. I was like, that is intense.

Starting point is 01:58:02 Yeah, I think he said specifically the scene after jane died he said he he saw his wife uh he saw his own daughter's face in that or something and he wrapped a wet towel around his head and washed it away it's like oh you're crazy yeah it was i remember that i was actually there for some reason when they were filming that and he was he was visibly uh taken back and it was it was like whoa you know yeah it was tough so do you have a do you have a scene that jumps out whether it's breaking bad or anything else in your career that was was you know too much for you or or sticks out like like that for him

Starting point is 01:58:35 well now every time i try to take a crap you know i have ptsd from bill anytime you're reading on the bowl yeah i get flashbacks you know and i have to deal with it but no i don't i don't think i did it wasn't fun getting shot it wasn't fun getting shot in the head i can tell you well it's a complete 180 with uh the united states of al like you said comedy scene comedy set having a good time, I'm sure. A Chuck Lorre show, I'm sure, is a blast to be on. I'm sure it's a well-oiled machine where it's like, let's go. Do you almost feel like you're cheating?

Starting point is 01:59:15 Like you feel like Kevin Durant joining the Warriors? Yeah, you joined a super team. All right. You jump on a Chuck Lorre show, you're good. I know. Yeah, when Chuck Lorre called, they're like, hey, Chuck Lorre wants to see you for this new, I'm like, that's the first thing you want to hear. Chuck Lorre's involved, you know?

Starting point is 01:59:33 Yeah. And then it was just a great, Art Dugan is the name, you know? I get great names. Art Dugan. Art Dugan from Columbus, Ohio. And they got all the sports they got uh they got okays i believe from all the local sports ohio sports team so he's always wearing all the different stuff you know that feels right up how how funny is that when if you go audition for a role of art dugan and they're like yeah you're the guy you're you're an you got Art Dugan written all

Starting point is 02:00:05 over your face yeah even better you have the audition they're like Art Dugan call Dean Norris that's great man and yeah but I mean Chuck Lorre really is his resume is comical when you know uh no pun intended but when he when he touches a, it feels like you're going the distance. Is there any like this? Does he think that or, you know, do you still have to take it like very seriously? We don't like we've got to get picked up. We've got to make sure we do everything right. Or is it kind of like we're just let it roll? Yeah, I mean, you still got to go through the most, you know, everyone has to make their decisions and you go through the whole thing. But it sure feels good having him obviously born. And he comes and he watches the run-throughs.

Starting point is 02:00:48 And it's fantastic because he's got the best laugh of all. You can hear him amongst the 40 or 50 people watching. Is it better than yours? Because yours is climbing the ranks for me. He's got a great one. And when you hit a line and you hear chuck roar you're like yeah i did it yeah so uh yeah those guys yeah and you know just uh the subject of the of the show is such that you really needed him uh to get it on the air you know the subject of these afghan uh translators who uh are i didn't

Starting point is 02:01:27 know it uh be honest with you before but they're they are in danger because they help the u.s over in afghanistan oh wow yeah they got targets on their backs right so how do you do that so we need to so we bring them over as much as we can we need to bring a lot more over to save their lives because they're like you know running around you know you know afraid of the obviously the taliban's after them you know yeah wow so um the seriousness of that subject and and the fact that we deal with uh you know my son coming home with ptsd and it's it's some serious subjects and dysfunctional family but uh through that we find a humor and I think it makes it... It gives a little more base to the show.

Starting point is 02:02:07 I think the humor's good. I remember in the first episode, I think you're asking Al about a girlfriend or someone's asking Al about a girlfriend and he's like, I couldn't have a girlfriend because I couldn't tell her where I lived because the Italian was trying to kill me. Yeah. I would imagine a...

Starting point is 02:02:23 Go ahead. I would say my daughter has a great line. She goes, yeah, dating's hard. Yeah, yeah would imagine. Good. Good. I would say my daughter has a great line. She goes, yeah, Damon's hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think if you're like a, a rookie producer writer, uh, and you come to the table

Starting point is 02:02:36 with that idea, I think they're like, get the fuck out of here. You know, if it's your first show and you say, so I got an idea. Yeah. Afghan translators. And we were, and we're, and we're harboring them here in America. Like for a sitcom. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 02:02:47 Take a hike, man. But yeah, that's great. No, I think that's exactly true. And so it's nice to have Chuck, you know, with that kind of backing, you get a show like this on the air. Yeah. I mean, it's also cool to, you know, it's a comedy, but there's obviously a little bit of gravitas to it where you're, you know, talking about something of substance. So that's a cool blend. Yeah. You're not just doing dick jokes

Starting point is 02:03:06 all day. Hey, listen, don't I'd be out of a job if we weren't doing dick jokes all day. If we didn't have dicks and dicks weren't so funny, we wouldn't have a job, alright? Hey, well, season six, there'll be a lot of dick jokes. You're talking about the serious shit. We just

Starting point is 02:03:22 learned today that you're a Harvard man? I am a Harvard man. Yeah. Well, we, what's the look? What's the fucking look? I mean, listen, listen, I'm like, I'm like the Harvard, the doing my hardcore research of a Wikipedia page. And I was like, wait, do you graduate from Harvard?

Starting point is 02:03:42 And like, what were you on a scholarship? We just went around and gave everyone fucking swirlies like we need someone to keep the nerds in check we'll let Dean in and he can beat them up it was a typo man some dude is like you know the manager

Starting point is 02:03:59 at Walmart right now going I should have wrote a different essay yeah there was a mix-up with Dean. The Dean, Dean Norris, somehow you get in. I don't know. Dean Norris, Dean Morris, whatever. Yeah, well, you know, listen, there's always just a certain stereotype

Starting point is 02:04:16 that we associate with a Harvard guy, and I don't think Hank Schrader, anybody who you can play the Hank Schrader and Art Dugans of the world isn't usually coming from the Crimson Reds. So that's a funny – were you acting while there or was that – like were you always trying to be an actor? Well, there was not an acting program or anything like that. I came – neither of my parents went to college at all.

Starting point is 02:04:47 I was the first person. In fact, in my entire family, you went right to college. Yeah. And I happened to get it. So I was like, once you get in,

Starting point is 02:04:55 you're like, I'm going to go. And luckily they, they had a mission admissions blind. So they, once you get in, then they look and see if you can afford to. And luckily, they had admissions blind. So once you get in, then they look and see if you can afford to. And I couldn't. I had no chance to afford to go there.

Starting point is 02:05:13 So they then paid for it. So it's not like I got a scholarship because I was so smart. But they let you in and they go, fuck, this guy can't afford it. And they throw you some cash. And so I went without having to spend any money. Or my parents didn't have to spend any money. So i mean your parents no school don't go to school you just right you just tore it up like you were just great grades good good everything yeah i get it i was valedictorian you know and i did really well in my sats and stuff so what'd you get what'd you

Starting point is 02:05:39 get you remember what you got come on hey we can't talk about it that's like he's like how much money do you make a couple 800s yeah all right scores have changed now i'm not gonna say i got close i'm not saying 780 or anything like that but that's probably what i got yeah i'm pretty i'm pretty sure you remember when it's 1600 when it was a perfect score do you remember what your uh your college essay was i was trying to think about the other day for some reason what i wrote oh i remember mine is so bad what was it and not only do i remember mine it was so bad i wrote it for like six of my best friends all used it to get oh god and it was one of those awful ones now like just like perfectly cliche writing like totally corny like uh merriam-webster defines

Starting point is 02:06:25 blank as whatever yeah here's how i embody that and i was like it's such a piece of shit it's so bad and my service at all the clubs that i do is really important to me and i believe that save the world i talked about kissing the lunch lady on the mouth though they might have liked that oh yeah she was like 80 80 years old bet Well, that's why he went to Florida State. Yeah, yeah. Get you into Florida State, bro. Kiss old Betty.

Starting point is 02:06:54 It's a little harder to get into Harvard, my friend. Tallahassee, Cambridge. Not only was Florida. Kiss old Betty, ace your fucking SAT. Ace your fucking SAT. Not only did they let me in, Florida State was so impressed by that essay that they were like, you've got to be a creative writing major.

Starting point is 02:07:21 That was the only major they let me allow. I applied for the business school, and they're like, listen here, we see your SAT numbers and math. You'll be doing nothing in the business world. How about giving creative writing a whack? I love it. Tie-dye shirts and all, you got to be creative. Well, I wanted to grab this, by the way.

Starting point is 02:07:42 We still got our Schrader brow here. Oh, yeah. When we drank this bottle, we kept still got our Schrader brow here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When we drank this bottle, we kept it on our wall of fame up there. Nice. And is that something you're still doing, or was that just kind of a project that you did and are done with and you moved on from it? No, I think we're going to bring it back because people keep digging it, you know? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:08:01 It's honestly really good. Yeah. Really, really good. It was good, wasn't it? It was fantastic. We sold out because Costco picked us up and we just like, um, that shit ton of Costco sales. So we, we kind of, we got to like get it back together.

Starting point is 02:08:16 So probably hopefully we'll go October for Oktoberfest. If not next year then. Yeah. When you get into that Costco money and they're like, yeah, we bought like 60,000 cans or bottles of it you know uh that's when you get that real money for sure so uh what so so you're so talk me through like so you're a harvard guy but obviously you you got you you set your sights on acting and hollywood then you move out west or what was how did you get out there? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:08:48 I actually applied to a drama school afterwards. I did a lot of extracurricular theater in Harvard. They didn't have a drama program. But we did a lot of plays and stuff. You did what was that? Hasty Puddings? I did Hasty Puddings, yeah. And other places as well.

Starting point is 02:09:04 What's that name all about? Hey, I don't know, man. It's some old shit. It's not from Harvard. Some 1600 – It's some 1600-year-old shit. Some dude whose statue's been long tore down. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 02:09:19 Somebody who's been canceled for sure. Yeah. All I know is that know the plays it's all guys so you have some of you have to dress up as women i happen to be a woman in that oh wow you gotta be the ugliest chick ever the ugliest broad i've ever seen i was hot and uh and That was a fun show. We would just, we would just, cause we would travel with it. You know,

Starting point is 02:09:49 like 40 guys. We had literally had a buckets on the side of the stage. Cause we would drink so much. And some people would be like, no way. Oh man. It was like, it was just,

Starting point is 02:10:01 yeah, that's a fun. That's a fun show. Yeah. It's like, well, we might be, you know, we're going to be acting, but we almost, we all will also be projectile vomiting. So get us the buckets. Wow. You guys went hard.

Starting point is 02:10:15 I'm never going to judge Harvard ever again. Yeah, no, it was, it was some crazy shit. Yeah. So how did you get from that to, to, to, you know, real life, you know, Hollywood type shit. Yeah. So how did you get from that to real life Hollywood type shit? Yeah. So I go to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London because they accepted me. Oh, wow. Learned a little bit and then came back and just went to New York, man.

Starting point is 02:10:36 I slept on a couch for $200 a month on a couch, not a room. Yeah. Couch with my little suitcase. And I got my first job it was called i was the equalizer it was a tv show back then and i got enough money to fly to california which i did and um within six months i got lethal weapon too oh wow yeah so is is that equalizer like the new like like denzel equalizer no, it's before that even. Yeah, all this shit is based on the Equalizer TV show.

Starting point is 02:11:07 Right. But that one. Same idea, though. Yeah, where it's like. Same idea, though. Yeah. Right. Yeah, and that was the first TV show.

Starting point is 02:11:14 That was in New York. Paid me enough that I could fly out to L.A. and sleep on somebody else's fucking couch. And then got Lethal Weapon 2. So wait a minute. All right, so how about this? Have you given all these couch guys a million bucks like Clooney yet? There's a duffel bag full of cash.

Starting point is 02:11:34 He's that breaking Brad Schrader brow, United States of hell money kid. So did you have a, you said, you said six months though. That was like, so you didn't, you didn't have six months though that way like so you didn't you didn't have that long drawn out like hollywood hustle grind you did it for six months and you got a gig and you're on fucking lethal weapon i know man it was it was really it was really good i

Starting point is 02:11:55 was waiting tables and literally they called me and said oh you got it i'm like what does that mean they're like they're like it's like you know it's four times what you're making right now per week and how many weeks

Starting point is 02:12:09 oh like 13 weeks I'm like you sure I'm like you sure this hamburger goes there

Starting point is 02:12:17 this steak goes over there brother I'll see y'all later and that was I literally walked out I wasn't a dick

Starting point is 02:12:24 about it but I just walked out on your shift you a dick about it, but I just walked out. On your shift, you were just gone? That's amazing. That is the dream, right? The dream is to be able to walk out like, all right, fuck you guys. I don't need this anymore.

Starting point is 02:12:34 Yeah. Thanks a lot, guys. Appreciate it. See you later. I was listening to Tom Segura was telling a story where he was working as a production assistant and then got a he got an audition. He got the gig. He auditioned for something. He got it.

Starting point is 02:12:47 And his agent called him and told him he got it. So he quit on the spot. It was like, I'm out. I'll see you later. And he calls his agent and tells me, he's like, well, why did you do that? He's like, well, I got the gig. And he was like, well, yeah, but it runs for like 10 weeks. And then that's it, dude.

Starting point is 02:13:00 Like, you need a job otherwise. So he got he got ahead of himself on that one. And but I guess when you when you make it big and you get the real deal, you don Like, you need a job otherwise. So he got ahead of himself on that one. But I guess when you make it big and you get the real deal, you don't need to wait at those tables anymore. It's got to be a good feeling. Well, yeah, I mean, for me, you know, I mean, living in an apartment and it's like all of a sudden they're paying you, you know. And those 13 weeks turned into 18 weeks, turned into 19 weeks.

Starting point is 02:13:21 Because back in the day, they were, you know, for that kind of movie, they were taking six months to make it right and if you're just around and i was like around you know that my character was uh there was a group of us that was great man we'd play golf it would always be off on the same day we'd play golf they would go shoot for three days and you're off for a week i never want to hear about these actors like it's it's so hard, 20-hour days on set. Yeah, it's 20 hours because eight of them, you're playing golf and hanging out. Shit. It's amazing, man. That's unbelievable.

Starting point is 02:13:52 And then Breaking Bad was, you know, same kind of thing, like audition and just, like, got it? Or how does that come about? Yeah. I think that came pretty quick. I mean, based on what I remember of it and then based on on, I think what I've heard Vince talk about in interviews, I mean, I came in there auditioned for Vince Gilligan. And I got the sense that the next thing I had, I did was I, you know, they have what they call a network test where you,

Starting point is 02:14:18 you go in and you get approved by the network. And I think that was pretty much the only guy they brought in by the end of that. You know what I'm saying? I think we felt, I think Vince felt pretty, pretty strong that that's his guy, you know? And, uh, and that was that. That's a very cool. Yeah. I always, it's a funny story. Cause I tell, uh, there's this, uh, there was this pilot, uh, that I had read about six months before and, uh, and I was like, Oh, perfect for this role is going to change months before. And I was like, oh, perfect for this role.

Starting point is 02:14:46 It's going to change my career. And to make a long story, it was an HBO pilot. To make a long story short, there was a motherly figure, and I looked like I could be her son. And I was right there for it. And then they changed the motherly figure to someone who I wouldn't look like their son. I get it.

Starting point is 02:15:07 And I was like, oh, man, I was like depressed. And it was like in September and October. And I remember I was like, God, that should have been my role. And January, I get the script for Breaking Bad. And I go, I got a son of a gun. Here's another one. I'm perfect. And I was a little gun shy.

Starting point is 02:15:28 But the good news is that other show never made it to air. And had I been on it, I wouldn't have been able to break the bet. I was going to say, yeah, if you had gotten that, oof. Imagine if you passed on Breaking Bad. Are there any stories of that? Was there anybody who passed on any of those roles? No. No.

Starting point is 02:15:43 Yeah. Yeah, no. Have you ever passed on a role that you like looking back you think you shouldn't have uh no i've taken some roles i look back and which projects would those be long long time ago uh so yeah you keep in touch with a lot of the bringing back guys still oh yeah oh yeah it was interesting because uh uh we were shooting i was shooting claws

Starting point is 02:16:14 uh in new orleans and and brian happened to be out there this is during the coven time in the fall when they started going back so um he uh i because of covid they wanted to kind of isolate us and when i said heck that i'm i have a fifth wheel you know what a fifth wheel is it's like a big rv but it's hot but you pull it by a truck okay oh yeah okay 42 foot so i i get in there and i haul out from la and i take my son with we'd cruise and i camp on this uh on this lake in new orleans right and uh brian couldn't go out anywhere couldn't do anything so he wouldn't come over and we would put a tv uh outside and watch the dodger game because it was dodging it was world series yeah so that is awesome that is awesome i was cooking up some steaks. We had a bonfire outside the lake, TV, you know,

Starting point is 02:17:09 and he would come over because he couldn't go out, couldn't do anything. Nobody could do anything. But we could hang there and cook them some. I wouldn't give him the recipe to my steak marinade. Man, hanging out, hanging out, kind of, you know, out there in an RV

Starting point is 02:17:27 watching baseball with Hank and Walt would be quite the fucking time, man. Drinking some Schrader Brows and some Dos Hombres.

Starting point is 02:17:34 Maybe doing some meth? Oh, yeah. I don't know. Maybe just cook up some blue. Yeah, that's great. No, but a couple trailers down,

Starting point is 02:17:41 I got real nervous. I just watched Bob Odenkirk's movie, Nobody, where he plays this John Wick sort of motherfucker. I mean, one of the funnest movies I've ever watched. Just pure violence and madness. It was cool. It's cool to see everybody.

Starting point is 02:17:57 You fall in love with all these characters, and then everybody goes their separate ways and does all these other awesome projects, and it's very cool to follow everybody once they go through that, you know? Yeah, I can't wait to see it. The commercials look great. So I haven't seen it yet, but I think my wife's going to watch it with me. So we'll probably pull it up here soon.

Starting point is 02:18:13 So you got United States of Al. We're going to try to revive Schrader Brow a little bit. Yeah. Anything else that Big Dean Norris is doing? Where are you at now? What have you been up to in quarantine? It looks like you've been hunting. You look like you're in a hunting lodge. and yeah anything else that big dean norris is doing what do you know where are you at now what have you been up to in quarantine you've been looks like you've been hunting you're looking you're in a hunting lodge i killed that right yeah i hate it so hard yeah first kill huh

Starting point is 02:18:41 yeah no i'm not in the honey land. My house looks kind of mountainous, I guess. But I'm in Southern California. And we're working still. We're still shooting now. I got two more episodes to do. I can't wait till this COVID thing is over because we have to shoot with, we don't shoot with, we practice with masks on. So you're sitting there doing a rehearsal between the comedy going.

Starting point is 02:19:04 Yeah, it's tough. is with masks on so you're sitting there doing a rehearsal between the comedy going yeah that's tough and then you can finally when the cameras are on you finally take it off oh fuck that's what you're saying yeah yeah i'm i don't have great ears anymore and i'm a big i've i learned i'm kind of a lip reader and i don't have your lips i'm like i got nothing don't even talk to me man i don't know what you're saying so yeah and you can't see expressions but anyway it's been you know you can't complain because people getting back to work so that's good absolutely we have two more of those to do and then i'll have uh have some time in the summer all right well i'm happy that you're back to work and uh on what what i'm sure is going to be another smash hit with the right people and uh

Starting point is 02:19:37 and you doing your thing art dugan thursday night 9 30 cbs the united states of albany guys thanks Art Dugan. Thursday nights, 9.30, CBS. The United States of Al. All right, guys. Thanks so much for the time, man. Thanks, Tim. Have a good one. Always good to chat. Bye-bye. Thank you very much, Dean North.

Starting point is 02:19:51 That is the end of KFC Radio. Make sure you go subscribe on the YouTube. Let's get Kevin just a really nice – who doesn't like having a present when they come home from vacation? So, Kevin, a nice present. Let's have 70,000 subscribers. Go subscribe on the YouTube, on Spotify, on iTunes. Five stars. Leave a comment. I don't know why.

Starting point is 02:20:12 That would be nice, right? Say, Kevin, we miss you. I'll reply to every single comment. So leave a comment. So Nick will reply to you. Say, Kevin, we miss you. Nick will reply to you. That's it.

Starting point is 02:20:21 Or if you don't do it your grandma's gonna die tomorrow សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.

KFC Radio - Dean Norris & Disney Adults

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