KFC Radio - Dean Winters, Feitelberg vs Fetitelberg, and How Much Sex Should We Have

Episode Date: January 24, 2019

Dean Winters aka Mayhem aka Dennis Duffy joins the program to tell us about his new Youtube Original show Wayne and the time he was dead for 5 mins. KFC and Feits discuss who they would sue for loss of happiness, debate what heaven is like if it exists, whether Mariano Rivera should be the first unanimous Hall of Famer, and The Punisher. Voicemails include: Michael & Ryan, how much sex should we have, worst kinds of Twitter, and who to trust with your phone.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka. Vodka! Started in 2011. Vodka. This is like KFC Radio. This is the KFC Radio Vodka, right? We started what? We started in 2012. We'll round down.

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New episode. Let's get it. We got Dean Winters on the program. Mayhem. We got your voicemails. Dennis Duffy. We're going to get weird with it, baby. I feel bad when people call him Mayhem.

I mean, he doesn't feel bad. He's very into being called Mayhem. He's the greatest shopper in the history of the world. I don't feel bad at all. He's Dennis Duffy. He's not Dennis Duffy. He's Mayhem. I didn't even know.

If you watch Dirty Rock, anyone who's seen Dirty Rock, he's Dennis Duffy. And the story of how he became Dennis Duffy is pretty awesome. All of Dean Winter's stories are awesome. Yeah, Dean Winter is. He is. Remember when I said Mike Vrabel, I want him to be my dad, my brother, my friend, and my coach? Dean Winters, I want to be like my best friend, my AA sponsor. Bad's watching this.

Yeah, exactly. My first call, my only call from prison, my on-speed dial for when you need to hide a body or get away from the cops. And I wanted to be the third co-host on this podcast. Dean's very... Those are all the Dean Winters things. I didn't know what to expect. You never know what to expect from people. You never know what to expect.

But Dean is something. But even he rolled through and he had black jeans, a black hoodie, black leather jacket. He had on some Jordans. And right away, I was like, all right, that's something. Because he's like a New York guy. He never moved out of New York. And you can tell. You can always tell the people who either are permanently LA or they moved to LA and they lost their East Coast roots.

I said to him later, I was like, when we wrapped up everything for the day, I was like, are you back in New York ever? Are you in LA now? And he's like, LA? What? He's offended. He's like, I'm from fucking New York, man. Like, yeah, well, it shows. And anybody who's been clinically dead for nearly five minutes,

literally, not exaggerating here, and came back to life, well, that guy, he's shit. He rounded up. I think it was four minutes and 58 seconds. Four minutes, 58 seconds. Yeah, five minutes. All right, relax, Dean. Don't need for exaggerating.

No, I think that's important. We don't ever exaggerate on this show. I honestly think two more seconds and you're dead. All right, relax, Dean. Don't need for exaggerating. No, I think that's important. We don't ever exaggerate on this show. I honestly think two more seconds and you're dead. Not because of, like, the oxygen in your brain, because there's just a rule in human life. If you're dead for five minutes, you're fucking dead. You're not coming back.

God or whoever else is up there was like, saved by the bell, like, you just got it in. Four minutes and 58 seconds, you're good to go. So Dean Winters, you know him as Dennis Duffy. He was in Law and Order. He was in a couple other. Oz was his big one. And then now, I mean, Mayhem is the most iconic. And the show Wayne that he's promoting here.

I very strongly suggest checking out Wayne. Wayne's really, really good. So we sat down with him. It's kind of like End of the Fucking World. I tell him that. But it's very End of end of the fucking world. I tell him that, but it's very end of the fucking world-esque. What's a good measurement of a guest

is he came in. If anybody ever comes in and we do a regular interview and then I grab my phone and I text under the table to BC to get some voicemails ready, that's how you know he's a real one. Some people can't handle the voicemails. You can be a great guest and you're not built for for case radio voicemails i like

this guy he can talk that shit he did so let's fire up the voicemail so we got our own batch of uh of your calls but we also answered a couple with mayhem and uh uh so we'll get into all that but first as we do so well here it's time to talk about being miserable in life because nobody does misery quite like we do but the only thing that's making me happy these days is I get home from work take off my pants put on my sweatpants because that's the correct

answer and I rock my Foco hoodie these things are so this is the official shirt blanket comforter whatever you want to call it of team indoors nothing has ever been built for the indoor life for couch life quite like a foco hoodie it is it's it reminds me of if you when you put these on you feel like kanye west in his video with little pump where where they're in the big square.

You're just overly comfy. It's kind of like a square. It's built as wide as it is long. It's perfect for lounging inside. I would imagine it's perfect for tailgating. Frankie Braley said he's going to wear one to a hockey game where it's a little bit cold. You're not worrying about... You don't have to have the fitted sweatshirt on.

You're just worried about comfort and staying warm. That's where a FOCO shines. It's reversible. This is the only problem with the FOCO. It presents me with a dilemma, John. On the one side is like a, what's this called? Like a velour. And then on the other side is Sherpa.

Now, you know me i fucking am addicted to sherpa you certainly i like the out i like people to see the sherpa but this sherpa is so soft i want to feel the sherpa so what's more important i know what you're gonna answer what's more important the look the yeah yeah you gotta show the sherpa off the inside can be like made of glass yeah yeah the inside could be on fire. It'd be rusty metal. Put it on. I put the Sherpa on the inside on my fucking skinny fat skin and it just feels so good.

Either way, you're going to look sharp or feel sharp. Uh, and they have team every, every time we've posted these people are like immediately, where'd you get that? When they, when they sent the box,

the office started buzzing. They, people were like all grabbing their own team. And I was like, no free ads, no free ads, no free ads. Nobody post this. Because I heard that they were getting down with, as an official sponsor, I was like, wait till this kicks in. Then we can all rock our focos.

I believe I'm talking with them about doing some team indoors, some team couch, some barstool-related versions. Right now, I got a Mets and Knicks one. You can get all your favorite teams and you'll be comfortable as fuck when you're lounging on the couch. Go to Foco, F-O-C-O dot com slash barstool to get them now. Use promo code barstool for 10% off your first purchase. So the only thing in my life right now that makes me happy, aside from my kids, I'm not wearing a default,

is my Foco hoodie. Because otherwise, I'm just, I've had all the happiness snatched from me. How? Not how. Who?

Who? Jeff Wilpon. Fred Wilpon. Woody Johnson. What if they're the surprise team in Machado? James fucking Dolan what if they're the surprise team for Machado first of all they're not because

that's not what the Mets do they're not going to be quietly lying in the weeds if they're in on someone they want the fucking credit for it they're going to be like we're trying to sign someone we're actually in the mix there's no way they must be so out on him to not even be like oh yeah maybe we'll kick the tires they literally have never considered it

because they would at least want that credit. Yes. To be like, oh yeah, well we offered. You know, A-Rod wanted a tent and we couldn't give him a tent. A fucking tent. Everybody, why is that the deal breaker? What was it, a tent? He had to sell his own merchandise or something.

A-Rod asked for like Firefest conditions and the Mets were like, can't do it. He wanted his own jet. He wanted his own jet. He wanted his own box. He wanted to be able to sell like his own merch. And the Mets were like, nope, too much

for this generational talent. You fucking assholes. He wanted to play for the Mets. He came to them like, I'm a Mets fan. Let's go. And the Mets were like, nah.

That's incredible. I don't think I knew that it's insane is what it is it is a franchise altering sport altering moment imagine if A-Rod went to the Mets instead now first of all he would have been like struck by lightning but you know

not only because that means not only is he on the Mets it means he's not on the Yankees it changes the Red Sox rivalry it changes on the Yankees. It changes the Red Sox rivalry. It changes 2009. The Yankees might still be on that drought. Yeah, the Wilpons, really. I mean, as a Red Sox fan, I owe them for doing this. Yes.

As a Mets fan. Yeah, like everybody benefits from the Wilpons except for the Mets fans is really what it comes down to. Like there's five degrees of separation from your happiness and you can connect it all to the fucking Wilpons. So I have had, quote, loss of enjoyment of life across the board because of my teams.

As we see now, the Saints fans are suing the NFL for that exact clause. Loss of enjoyment of life based on the blown non-call in the NFC Championship game. And let me tell you, babe, they're going to lose that case. Loss of enjoyment of life, just first of all, is going to be a tough case to prove. Everyone's going to be like, well, prove you were happy.

Well, that's going to be tough. Prove you lost enjoyment. I never had it. Your Honor, I was seriously mad. I really, really promise you. You know how when they say they don't want murderers and rapists to take the stand for their own defense because they don't want them to get jammed up? I couldn't take the stand for my own defense of lost enjoyment of life.

They'd be like, no, we can't put you on the stand we don't have enough time the lawyer is just going to carve you up you're going to be scared you're going to be scared to lie under oath because while you sit here in a podcast studio you'll say anything you want but after you put your hand on a bible you'll probably get pretty nervous

I would I think I would have a hard time lying on the stand but wait a second. What if it is real? Like, look, I'm pretty sure it isn't. But what if it is? Is this lie worth eternity in hell? I don't think so.

I'll take five years in prison. I'll take not the $200 I'd get out of this class action lawsuit. I was miserable beforehand. Don't worry. John, it can't be much worse than up here. I feel like, look, if we're going fire and brimstone. The only difference. It's Dante's peak in hell.

That looks worse than up here. Like a little bit. That's about it. The only difference, the only reason why hell on earth is a little bit better than hell in hell is that the hell on earth eventually ends you get about eight years of it and then it just ends hell goes forever who that's that's what i mean yeah that's why i'd rather do like a couple years that bugs me out when i i think about dying whether there's an afterlife or not even if there's an afterlife even if it's heaven

even if i get to go to heaven the fact of something never ending creeps me out if i if i have to be me for eternity oh well that's what's interesting is they say anywhere and i'm like this if they say that it's paradise i picture that as like your own personal paradise i feel like everybody's heaven's different i don't think you go to like one place and it's like yeah like we got the fucking you know the bar is over there if you want to watch a game and the library is over there if you want to watch if you want to read books i feel like it's just whatever your personal paradise would be and my very first paradise would be not being myself so it'd be like and we'll also do you want to be like like oh yeah paradise you gotta be surrounded by candace swainpole and emily rajikowski guess what their paradise does not

involve that's right but but that's where that's where i wonder you know do you have to wait for them to be dead do you have to actually wait for candace to be dead and then she shows up are you seeing actual dead candace or it's just like you can have clones and everything are there truly no rules in heaven i'm a personality guy i need her real personality yeah like if like that would be the thing i'd get to heaven i think you're not really candace you're fucking god's photocopy of right hey again it's not like that yeah yeah you didn't strut the stage in that in that million dollar bra that's really what i'm here for i'm here for the prestige of you not for just the looks of you i'm here for like what that means

if you're having what would be your heaven if it is just like your personal i honestly i watch probably patriot super bowl party i mean you've already done that a bunch of times yeah but if i did that well even that fraternity nothing's fun for eternity nothing's fun for eternity uh i don't think i i think the only thing that doesn't that has not gotten old for me is masturbating right either that gets old though if you did it for eternity i mean i'm basically that's what i'm doing now i'd be like this sucks i'm so tired my arm hurts yeah that's blasphemy you don't deserve to jerk I mean, basically, that's what I'm doing now. I'd be like, this sucks. I'm so tired. My arm hurts. That's blasphemy.

You don't deserve to jerk off ever again. That's not true. You don't deserve to fucking, I don't know, watch TV ever again if that's not your eternity. That would be my eternity. Watch TV and jerk off. All right. That's all you would do.

Yeah, okay. So I see what you mean. In addition, like, okay, the only two things I think I would never get sick of is watching TV and masturbating. I mean, to be fair, I've gotten sick of watching TV. I've been like, I gotta go outside for a minute.

We'll edit that. You get sick of it? We'll edit that out. That was bad for the brand. This started you saying everything for eternity sucks. I'm riding with that thesis. I agree with that thesis.

It doesn't suck. Everything for eternity scares me. Because it sucks. Because you know it'll eventually suck. I guess. I get a physical, like my heart kind of like races a little bit and freaks me out. Yeah, when you think of it, that's for life.

Yeah, for not life, for afterlife. Weird. Yeah, I have no interest in it. I would take, even like I like to show the good place. Even that is just terrible. They're all, have you ever heard of the meat? Have you ever seen the good place? No.

So there's, uh, there's, uh, the good place, the bad place where it's all fire and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

and, and, Oh, it's pretty new, right? Season three. Season three has been kind of a down season. Wrong, Kevin. But season one and two are very good. But they have the good plays, the bad plays, and the medium plays. And the medium plays is, like, you get your things you like, but they're just a little bit worse. So, like, you get beer. It's always warm.

That's a bad place. That's like a Twilight Zone episode where it's like you wish for something and you get the knock off version I agree I'd rather just be full blown in the bad place because at least you know what you're getting there if you're like oh I just want the hottest girl in the world and she shows up and she's like

the biggest pain in the ass it's terrible I want the nicest girl in the world and she's like, no. Just want things to be normal. The woman in the bad place, in the medium place. I forget her name. But there's a funny bit where she just always wants cocaine.

She's like, do you have some cocaine? Anyway, to get back on track. Loss of enjoyment of life if the saints i've i've kind of my my pendulum has swung back a little bit on the saints because there really is the element of like well you had you went to overtime and you had the ball at home that's true you know it's like it wasn't it would have ended the game it's not like it was like a buzzer beater at the fucking clock where that was truly it i mean it was truly it it could have been truly it run the clock out but it wasn't truly like not it after the fact no you're right you know what i mean but also like that game came down

to one play that regulation game came down to one play and and we yeah we we agreed with rex when rex was like no fuck cody markie No, it doesn't come down to one play. Yes, it did. It came down to one play. But I do think that it's like there is a little bit more, all right, shut the fuck up, because there was more game played after it. And you had the advantage to the point that the other side, the other conference, everyone's talking about how that's way too big of an advantage. But that's only happening for the Patriots. But it's like, you know, it's a very small benefit you get.

I agree. 52.7% of the time they win. But if there is people making this loud stink on one side of football, on the other side, you give Drew B breeze the football in the fucking dome and and all he's got to do is you know at least score a field goal to probably put his team over the top there was enough that happened after that play for the saints to be like all right you can't you can't you're not you're 99.9 able to just fucking your sue people and put up your billboards and i think a lot of that stuff is done

tongue in cheek. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I have too much faith in humanity where people are just like, yeah, we'll bust some balls for a bit. I don't know if you'd buy billboards and shit for all that, right? That guy owns a car dealership.

He's getting the most promotion ever. Genius marketing. I think everyone has an ulterior motive. It's not like actually I'm doing this. Who are these people suing? Season ticket holders, I believe. And it's probably like, I'll get a free year of season tickets. Right, right.

It's like I'm going to make enough stink until I at least get something out of this. Yeah. I think that's mostly what it is. I could be wrong, but I'm sure there are some people who are genuine about it. I'm just saying I got a better case in these motherfuckers who would you say all my owners i'm suing the will ponds i'm suing james dolan i'm suing woody johnson i have a better case in the saints fan yeah you do you have you you have a a one time infraction with with painful but very recent, finite and individual damages. I have a lifetime of damages and a fucking endless rap sheet of offenses to present to the jury as evidence.

It would be you presenting evidence would be Costanza talking about his life. Andrea Dora or whatever. You had that one moment of horribleness? Yes. Listen to my entire life. Exactly that. And in Seinfeld, when they do the montage where it fades in and out and the jury is still listening and they're getting more and more horrified because George just keeps going on and on and on that would be me I would I would be I

would be in front of the jury giving like opening statements for like hours and I'd be like I'd close like this giant book like and I'd be like and that's the mets boom now we move on to the football team and then my finale would be james dolan that would be a powerpoint you got pictures oh my harmonica god this is his harmonica he's a harmonica player kazoo kazoo kazoo my friend even fucking worse yeah way worse bob i would be like i like, you know, the not the defense, what the fucking prosecution would like to call to the to the to the stage,

the fucking alcoholic that James Dolan made fun of last year. Remember that one where he was just like, you're an alcoholic. You're a sad person. Like what?

You can't just make fun of your fans for being drunks, you dickhead. They're drunks because of you. Exactly. You did this to them. That guy should definitely sue drunks, you dickhead. They're drunks because of you. Exactly. You did this to them. That guy should definitely sue. Yeah, I have a drinking problem.

I have a happiness problem. I have, I'm definitely going to die early from all this. Stress, all sorts of damages. Loss of enjoyment of life for me and any other of the Little Brother New York fans. You want to talk about a class action suit? We're going to Aaron Brockovich this motherfucker. We're going to get like $300 billion from these fucks.

I don't think I have anybody. I could sue... Forget about sports. If you could sue someone for loss of enjoyment of life... I mean, I'd sue Dave. I'd sue myself. It would go all the way to the Supreme Court.

Would you sue Polly? No, hell no. Polly brings me the most joy. Even when she just let you almost die for weeks on end and shit like that? No, Polly's the best. It would be a landmark case. You suing yourself?

Feidelberg versus Feidelberg. Fights v. Fights. People would be like, no one would know what to do. Lawyers would be calling each other. I'd probably get Robert Mueller. He'd probably be like, I got to take this case. I'm done with this fucking collusion, whatever the fuck it's called. Robert Mueller versus, uh, what was his name?

Dean, whatever, who came in with the cowboy hat versus, what was his name? Dean whatever, who came in with the cowboy hat and the jinx. Remember him? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy. Dean Strang. Yeah.

Dean Strang. What a case. They'd be like, how do you plead? You'd be like, not? Guilty? I just keep getting up

and moving from defendant to plaintiff. Like Charlie. I can see it being like He's lying Like No he's lying The defendant pleads guilty And the prosecution's like

No No We're fighting this one out Fights v. fights For loss of enjoyment of life I mean that's That's really the only person I could sue

I'm self aware enough To know that The only person It all boils down To one guy I mean I would sue My team owners I would sue Sue Dave I'd sue my team owners. I would sue

Dave. I'd sue myself right now. I'm sick. I'd sue myself because I'd be like, why don't you just go to the doctor? And I'm like, no. And my other part of my brain is like, dude, just go to the doctor and get some medicine. I'm like, no, I don't do medicine. Why am I like this? The fuck is wrong

with me? Just go to the doctor. I don't do medicine. You know one day I'm going to split. What does that mean? Like you're going to have a mental split? Like right down the middle. Yeah, I'll be two people. I mean two.

Two? I think you're good for at least four. You're going to be like the movie split. You're going to come in talking different accents. You're going to be Russell Brand talk one day. I have one. You know what's going to happen one day? Fights is going to come in in like baggy jeans

and like bad clothes with his hair not done and people are going to be like, what is this? And he's going to be like, good morning. I'm like, or you're going to be like emo.

You're going to be like, my name's like, just call me Henry. You know, I don't want to go by John anymore. I'm J8. It would't want to go by John anymore. I'm J-H. It would be great content. Something's happening.

It would be fantastic. Every YP just standing by the elevator every day. Which one's going to come off? Which me am I going to be today? I got a closet full of me's. Am I going to be the happy me? Or the me that stinks? I'm gonna sue Al Gore for inventing the internet.

This motherfucking place is just tearing me apart, man. I can't live like this anymore. Al Gore, you created a fucking monster. You know when all the scientists from the atom bomb are like, Oh God, forgive us for what we've done. Al Gore should say that every day for inventing this genuinely believe i truly believe it i have a lot of weird takes today uh i was talking i was talking about yesterday my brother sent me a weird text and he's like have you talked to our cousin and i was like i said no and it was like i i think i

think we've learned how to, we've grown another sense as people, and we understand technology. You know how they talk about sarcasm font and stuff like that? Yeah. I think we can read that in technology now. Okay, why though? Because I just knew that was a really bad text,

and the goddamn asshole he is didn't talk to me for 10 minutes after, or immediately responded, no, what's up? And for 10 minutes just didn't reply to me. What happened, bro? That's a different story. But it was just like I was so mad at him.

I was like, dude, I know this is a bad text. What the fuck is going on? Tell me. That's not when you can text and put your phone down and go do some shit. That's a text where you're sitting there waiting for the bubbles to pop up and then you're going to respond. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. But that ties in

with what I think the internet and technology are doing to us where I think they're just breaking. I think it's going to be bad. I think we are living in a dangerous generation. We're just not... We haven't evolved yet. We're the first people to come up... The first monkeys to

learn how to do something and it to like learn how to do something. And it's like, learn how to climb or whatever, or walk. And we can't walk. We just fall off a cliff yet. We're not good enough at walking. Right.

Like this is going to be a, we're, we're stayed, we're V1 of this evolutionary stage and it's going to be bad. It's like monkeys learning how to climb. And then like they, they all get to the top of the tree and they just fall off and they die. The internet is the tree.

We're just climbing. We're like, wow, we can see everything from up here. This is amazing. Splat. We're dead monkeys at the bottom of the fucking tree i think that's what i agree i think that there's a lot of things going on right now we don't realize that we are the guinea pigs we're the test run and that there's going to be it's almost like like uh like there's no way girls on birth control that's just brand new there's no

way we're just those girls are ripping their bodies apart, man. Everything. You got the laptop on your dick, your fucking balls are ruined, man. And not even just with that. First of all, I think mentally it would be the worst part. But also physically, we're like next. We're gonna start going back. We're gonna become like a ball. You know how

the evolutionary thing where it's like standing? It's gonna go back down. Well, it already does. Yeah, you shrink a little bit and you get hunchback just as you get old. We're going to be doing that when we're like 40. Right. Yeah, no, it's – You know what I actually talked about?

Your wrists, your fingers, your thumbs from doing this all the time. We're going to be so fucked up. It's not even going to be funny. I mean porn is, you know, for sure ravaging your brain and your emotions and stuff. I had a take on, we do an extra segment on the best of CCK. We do a little more fire every week for an original segment. boys are the first generation or like early enough generation of guys who are learning how to deal with the independent women of the world. Like I, I think one of the biggest struggles with my marriage was that she was at

times was like most of the time was like running the show, like big career. What she says goes, she, she led the family. She made all the decisions and all that shit. But then there were times where she would like flip a switch and she'd be like,

man up, you're the man. Why aren't you like handling this? And it's like, well, because I've been fucking whipped for fucking eight years just following your lead. So how,

I think we're the first guys that have to deal like how to learn with sometimes you want the stereotype. Sometimes you want this new age shit sometimes we don't know which one we are or what you you are i think we're the first guys who are like i think we're it's tough like we're really we're like nice to girls and then that's that almost becomes a problem you know what i mean it's like this this the new dynamic between men and women i think we're like the the first crew to really go through that. I can see that.

We think of everything as so far away. It was like, oh, women were treated poorly. We've been treating women nicely for a long time. In the 80s and 90s, they were treated like second-class citizens. Slavery was forever ago. Not in the 60s

of humanity. The 60s, we like, okay, they can vote. When something's like 50 years old, that's like a fucking mega blip on the radar, you know? It's like, oh, I'm like nice to a girl and then she likes me, but then it's like I don't want anything serious and then I'm an asshole because I was too nice, you know? All of that shit, we're the guinea pig going through all of it none of it's good we're not handling any of it right they're gonna look back and be like oh these guys were fucked between technology and social changes like no wonder this whole crew was depressed and on drugs and committing suicide because they didn't know how to handle any of this it is why i was i'm watching the punisher uh which i love the punisher it's like one of my favorite shows

really somebody said like are you excited for The Punisher to come back? I was like, not even a little bit. I love it. You'd like it. We've watched season one. I'm like halfway through season two now. But there was one peculiar thing where everyone just walked around soaked in blood. I saw that, yeah.

All times. They just never clean the blood off them. It's crazy. The girls, the guys, everyone's just covered in blood like just walk around the street like dude you gotta you gotta clean up you're dripping at least get a paper towel everywhere but it is interesting because i it was making me think when we've kind of discussed this before where you know like like almost like eventually you're gonna have to accept men right because it is like, like men,

the only one where like, everyone's like change, change, change. And largely I agree. I mean, I've, I've very,

I, I have changed very largely. I agree. Almost, almost a hundred percent. But it is funny where it is like, I do get like watching Frank Castle, who is a man,

you know, I'm a man's man. And just like grunting and yelling and that kind of shit where it is like like we understand that we have this thing in us called testosterone and we understand that's what it does it's real fucking life it's it's scientifically that's what it does and and men are the only one who people are like no your genetic makeup is wrong change right right they can't help some of this shit. And, you know, it's like with anyone, any other kind of person,

where it's like, oh, is that how you feel you are? Then that's who you are. Right, you're going that way. And I totally agree. I 1,000% agree. Those people should be accepted. We should be accepted as well. And I understand other aspects where, like, you know,

if someone is, you know, transgender, we're like, well, they're not bothering anybody, you know if someone is uh you know uh transgender we're like well they're not bothering anybody you know and a lot of times testosterone does bother people yeah right like but it does you know someone does a transgender walking on the street there's there's no effect on other people if i'm kidnapping girls out of the bar that's that's affecting other people and that should change. But other things where it's just like, if you're just being a man and not affecting other people,

even if that means being loud in a bar, that's not really affecting other people. It's affecting other people's sensibilities or something like that, but it's not genuinely affecting someone else. Right. Let it be. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'd probably sit there at the bar and be like, that dude's an asshole. Yeah, If you're just like, you let it be. Yeah. Like just, yeah. Be like, and I'd probably sit there at the bar. Like that dude's an asshole. Yeah. But you're not going to like, it's not like Mandy change. Right. I'm not gonna write a think piece on it or something like that.

I'm like, that dude fucking sucks. I would not want to hang out with that person. Yeah. No, no, no. And that,

I think that at some points, like we have to scientifically understand that this is how it goes. I just, I do think that the society kind of used to be that way. I don't know if they would break it down to like the testosterone and the science of it all, but I think it was just like, well, like, you know, guys go to work and they work hard to make the money.

So when they come home and they're like blowing off steam, we're just going to like allow that. And again, you know, whoa. As long as it's not affecting other people. Of course not. You can't be like violent or disturbing. If I'm like, just fucking leave me alone. Yeah.

Like this is how I am, you know? And yes, I'll go, I'll go to therapy. I'll work on it. I will work on everything. You know,

everyone else goes to therapy. It's just like that. Men are the only one who have been trained to mask their emotions. I'll go to therapy. I'll give it a shot. And I, and I, again,

I, I am the fucking poster child of someone who agrees with everything and has changed very largely. But at some point, too, I'm just like, look, this is this person in me that is just screaming. Can I just be me for a minute? Let me scream. Please. Can I just. And the therapy is important.

Going to find a healthy way, like everything, like a healthy way to express it and stuff like that. And yes, I'll go hit a heavy bag or something like that. And it's a much better way to express it. I have this thing in me that is just screaming at all times. The five-year-old trapped inside you, except it grows up to be like a 17-year-old. 17-year-olds are tough sometimes. He's just filled with cum and anger. That's hard. Sometimes

I want to stress I agree with very much everything. See this is the problem is that sometimes you can be a really nice guy. The part of you is like the 30 year old mature adult who's just friendly and nice to you. But then like you have to understand that the guy who's angry and filled

with cum is still in there. And so you can't have all without the one and one without the all. It's all kind of one big thing. You have to fucking accept me for who I am. Yeah. Sometimes I'm an asshole and I'm sorry and I will apologize. But sometimes I'm an asshole. Sometimes it's just like you know

part of me sometimes wants to either be left alone or be single or be aggressive at work or whatever it may be it's like just because I was nice or am nice a lot of the other time doesn't mean that there's not all these other things going on and you can't hold it against me

I feel like you almost you set the bar it's like mail time shit that's why I keep the bar low. If you're really nice to like anybody, but if you're like, you want to date and you're cutesy, you're nice. Now all of a sudden the bar is like super fucking high for that. And when the other elements of you that don't match up to that come out, it's like, it's like you were lying or you were fear.

You know, you're not, you're not the same guy. I don't know. It's all the fucking one thing. It's all complicated. Humans are so complicated. And we are always like, yeah, chicks are, they're all over the map. We get that. Why don't you

get it about us? We know you're fucking crazy. Why don't you admit that we're crazy too? Why do I have to be this statue? I have emotions too. I am not logical. I am emotional and irrational. Now we are much less irrational than you,

than girls, much less crazy, but we're still crazy too. Anyway, loss of happiness, enjoyment of life. That was a journey we went on there. We started with heaven, I think. Yeah, the best podcast,

the best audio content, I always think that there's like one main highway that we're traveling on to get from the beginning to the end of the podcast. And you like get off at an exit and you like get some McDonald's and you fucking buy some. And then you get back on the highway and then you get off another exit and you spiral out of here and then you bring it all back. And if all those exits kind of still relate to the podcast, to the turnpike, that's a great podcast. Let's hit the exit and take some fucking voicemails. Or no, what are we doing? We want to do

the interview? Let's take some voicemails. We're going to go, because then we'll go into the voicemails with Dean or the other way around. I don't know. Let's do the voicemails. We're getting off at the voicemails exit. It's brought to you by 23andMe. KFC Radio. I am your host host I am a Irish German Italian Asian man how about that I feel like you add a new one every podcast I'm Asian and Italian and that's yeah we're talking about uh you know I am who I am and I'm complicated and I'm made up

of many things well think about how complicated it is, John, being an Irish, German, Italian, Asian. Okay? That is not an easy life. German, Irish, Italian, Asian. I'm a GIA. G-I-A-I-A. That is one hell of a cocktail right there. See, now I learned about myself I have a whole new

culture to explore and I can make a whole lot of jokes now because I'm Italian guys I can say that I'm Asian I can say that my dad is the one who really loves this and he got me to do it so we're going to match up my

stuff with it Ria's family did it and her siblings came back different i don't know what that means she said ma what's going on here said you should get 23 and me with the milkman see who's matching up with who. So you're going to learn a lot about yourself. And how about this? You can find out like you can do a lactose intolerance report. You can find out a genetic variant that makes you likely to

end up being lactose intolerant. Caffeine consumption report. You can learn about if you're more likely to consume caffeine. I guess if you look at your genetic makeup you'd be like, this person's going to drink caffeine. It's crazy. Muscle composition report, whatever mix I have just doesn't have that. Not a good one.

It's like my 23andMe report says, if you're German, Irish, Italian, and Asian, you just don't have muscles. It comes back negative. And this is my favorite one, the genetic weight report. So if you're predisposed to gaining weight guys i was born that way okay sorry big bones learn learn all about yourself learn all about your family where you're from and all these interesting things when you go to 23andme.com that's the number 23andme.com slash kf and you'll get your Ancestry kit today. That's 2323

andme.com slash KFC. First voicemail. Who do we got? Hey, boys. First time, long time. Say, fifth year in college. Just got a number four time job to go make ends meet. I got a definite Michael

Scott, Ryan situation going on. Everything I do with this new boss, he's like a 45, 50-year-old guy who's going through a midlife crisis. He just copies me. I mean, he's got a job there. He's copied my haircut, my beard, what I wear, even my shoes. I don't know what to do. I don't do anything.

I will say it's at a liquor store and the guy keeps giving me free booze because he'll be in my shoe is that worth it? I steal my style first of all what are we talking on here? what is this a girl talk phone?

are you on a toy telephone right now? you had a girl talk? yeah it was like prank call people and stuff like that it was my sister's but I stole it Which I have. Are you on a toy telephone right now? We had one of those. You had a girl talk? Yeah. It was like, can we prank call people and stuff like that? I mean, it was my sister's, but I stole it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wasn't there boy talk? What was the one from Home Alone?

What's that called? Talk boy. Talk boy. And you had? Talk girl, yes. You had the boy one. You stole it from your sister? Yeah, I just stole it.

Or you stole it from your sister or you just had the girl talk? No, I just stole it from my sister. Look, I had Barbie dolls. Don't get me wrong. I'm not afraid to admit I just stole it. Or you stole it from your sister or you just had the girl talk? No, I just stole it from my sister. Look, I had Barbie dolls. Don't get me wrong. I'm not afraid to admit I had feminine toys. Not that anyone's surprised. I mean, not a ton, but I would just play with that man. Walking that one back. It was only three.

Well, it was like we kind of explained where I'm a futuristic man. I would have G.I. Joes and Barbies in relationships. I didn't just play with me. I didn't just play army. I didn't just play house. It was like, Ken, you're a pussy. I'm going with Joe. Wow.

I didn't actually do that. It's like Cobra Commander was like fucking Barbie. Ken's in the corner getting cucked. They would all very often be naked, too. Yeah. Rubbing fucking the smooth patches together. Strangely naked. Yeah, just scissoring smooth patches together. Strangely naked all the time. Yeah, just scissoring with those lack of genitals.

A lot of these things come with clothes. But anyway. I definitely thought about fucking that life-size Barbie once. You know, when I was like four feet tall. Pulled that back. I was like, is there any way I can put this thing? Can I like put it in between the legs or something like that? Figure something out here.

Did he fucking life size by me? Uh, anyway, so this guy's got this like obsessive boss, single white female, Ryan, Michael Scott sort of thing at a liquor store is crazy. I thought it was like the office,

like you're at an office because that happens in a corporate setting. You know, you see people who are, there's like the cool people and like the not cool people. You see people who start to we've seen it here. Some people start to dress a little bit differently when they start working here or they try to talk a little different and try to be cool. Because in an office, I don't know. I feel like that just happens. You just like work in a liquor store, working behind the register.

I don't think it just happens in an office. I think that's life i think that happens in life where you see the you know i think like birds like try and like add more feathers to look more like a peacock and stuff like that but in a liquor store you think that's i mean i guess it happens everywhere but it just seems to me like a spot that it happens in school it happens happens everywhere it happens like i think that's that's just human i guess genetics like you want to replicate what you what you adore i guess so that makes sense we're getting very uh genetic and shit today on the podcast i i feel like it happens here at barstool and people other people get mad about it i don't really get mad about it i think there's a lot of like swagger jacking that goes

on and people get upset like Like, those are my sneakers. You can't wear them. That's my style. You can't wear them. I have that same exact jacket. You can't wear it. I don't do that. I like to tease Dave about it.

Yeah, but like Dave will take it seriously. There are definitely people who are like, you know, those, I wore those shoes first. You can't wear them. I think that comes down to confidence. Because like it comes and this is why, again, I'm going to split one day cause I'm very confident in how I dress and I know I dress nice.

And if you do it, if you dress like that, if Dave, you know, in two years decides he's going to start jeans or wearing distressed jeans or wearing jackets, whatever. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, that's, that makes sense. Those are cool. I get it. Yeah. I'm with you on that.

I'm totally okay with someone wearing it's usually sneakers to me like you can wear the same sneakers to me i didn't fucking invent these shoes i didn't they're not like mine i don't write my name on them millions of people have these jordans or these adidas what does it matter if we work in the same office like yeah so i think i think i think i'm flattered yeah like when people when like i get tweets about like where'd you get that shirt? I'm like, I'll tell you where, except I don't always tell people.

I mean, you got to figure it out. You can find, you have certain things that you want to keep to yourself. We said with the Sebastian area. Yeah. We talked about like a jacket is, is a different story because you know, it's more of a statement,

but I, I mean, shoes, especially like, I feel like, I mean, I remember catching so much heat when I was wearing dunks when we were doing we were doing clancying and it was like now if I see someone wearing

a pair of dunks or whatever I'm like yeah like everybody fucking rock dunks rock Jordans rock these sneakers like I think it's cool I don't know it depends how drastic it is too like if it's if you're just like if you're just wearing clothes I find cool

because you saw them and you're like oh that is cool I do that all the time I don't find everything I like I didn't see originally myself sometimes I'll see someone on TV unless you're like working in the fucking unless you like have access to like the factory where they're making

clothes you're gonna see advertisements you're gonna see people wearing things you're gonna be like i want i like that i'm gonna get it i mean i guess in like a small office if someone comes in literally wearing like this same exact thing like right after you did that's a little bit weird i think i don't even think it's the way it's kind of like i think the clothes wouldn't bother me it's it would be the hair like someone haircut well that so but even that like like, Dave always, Dave always made fun of anybody who goes to Fleischman, and it's like, there are certain just, like, white guy haircuts, too.

I mean, it's not, if I had, like, a mohawk, and someone, everyone came in, he'd be like, oh, my God, you all get mohawks from Fleischmans, but it's like, I don't know, we all have, like, a little bit of hair that we kind of, like, comb up and over, it's like, what do you want me to do with this shit? I'm not going to come in with a cornrows and a fro.

We're not that versatile, man. But I guess if you, whatever's going on, if it gets to the point, to the vibe that you're like, this is weird, that's annoying. I don't think any of it's worth quitting a job or something, though. I mean, at a liquor store, if you have a better prospector, you can go to another liquor store, I guess so. you're you got like a good thing going i wouldn't rock clearly this guy adores you i would exploit this yeah you know i'd be like give me a raise i need

i need to come in late i'm gonna come in i'm gonna leave early it's like fucking the teacher without having to fuck him like i would actually milk it like i would i would prop like poke them a little bit like yeah your hair look good today man right right like oh man i have those same that same shirt but like you look better in it than i do by the way can i get like a bonus or you know yes exactly bottom line is people like you said ad, adoring you or following your move is a good thing to be exploited. Yeah. If nobody wants to be like you, that sucks. If someone's just like, that guy's hair and his clothes and his shoes and his whole persona is so bad I want no part of it, that ain't good.

That's true. That ain't good. If no one is trying to be like you. I mean, your hair, clothes, and style sucks. The best thing in the world. It's like, you know, it's awesome that everybody wants to wear Kanye West sneakers. It is incredible that everybody wants to wear, I don't know, fucking the hottest clothes out. So if you're one of those guys who can inspire that,

walk around with your dick out. And also maybe look into a career in the fashion industry. If it's that good. Liquor chic over here. Hey guys. Second time, long time, I guess.

I have actually two questions, both very wildly different. The first one is kind of just regarding how often the human male actually needs to have sex, because I have been dating my boyfriend now for like a year and a half. And I feel like the like honeymoon horniness has just not gone away. So I was wondering how often, I know if like your answer is going to say obviously preferred once a day or more, but like how often should like a boyfriend and girlfriend actually be having sex if they've been dating for like almost two years? Okay, so that's my first one. And then my second question is, okay, so if you drink like two Red Bulls or like two shots of espresso or like two energy drinks, are you going to get double the amount of energy right away? Or are you going to have your energy last twice as long? Same as like, if I take two shots of vodka, am I going to be like right off, like right away? Am I going to be drunk or quicker? Or am I going to be drunk or longer? Just two different thoughts.

I was having big time, different thoughts. I mean, let's get like physiological with it. I'm pretty sure you just get double the drunk in the shorter period of time. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that is actually very fucking easy to answer. Yeah. It's like if you have a shot now and a shot like an hour later, it's a different story than if you just double up right away. You're just going to be really drunk right then.

Yeah, the vodka isn't sitting there going, guys. Okay. The second shot isn't like, we're going to pause. We need to wait until the liver processes that other vodka before we enter the bloodstream. Let's do this responsibly, fellas. Yeah. If that was the case, first of all, it'd be a lot harder to get drunk. And you'd be drunk forever.

And you'd be drunk forever. If I had 20 drinks, I'd be drunk for a week. It's not like shots are extended release. Right, right. Okay? Although that sounds cool. Yeah, right? If you could do a shot that was like, well, that's drugs.

I was going to say, you could like ball it up into a thing and swallow it, and then it extends into your bloodstream. That's fucking called Oxycontin. So take care of that one the next one's an interesting question how often do you think uh everybody should be having sex and it's an answer that i still think that people are the most dishonest about i still think people are so self-conscious about it i don't think you'll i think you'll rare rarely get an honest answer okay i remember when i was doing uh cosmo radio appearances a lot with my buddy Patrick,

and it was back when I still would even give a fuck about something like this. And he was like, how often are you and your girl fucking? And I was like, once a day, at least. Maybe we miss a day here and there. And he's like, you're a fucking liar. And I was like, no, man, no, no, no, no. And he was like, yeah, man, I would be in situations where i'm dating girls where we wouldn't fuck for like months what and i was like on the inside i'm like all right well yeah john it's it's true it's real

it's real i don't know man i i first of all i don't think there's any amount you should be i think it's whatever you want i do i do know like one of my more serious girlfriends they were it came to a point where i was like i just don't want to have sex anymore. But that was the end of the relationship. I think it's pretty healthy to want to have sex with your partner. Yes, but I'm saying that a lot of times people are in unhealthy relationships. I'm not saying it's good. I'm saying it's natural to have that fade and you can't let it fade too much or then you are in a

bad relationship uh i would i think that if i mean two years is really not like all that long when you think about it well forever but if you're coming i agree i understand but i was like two years i think that you can have like let's let's say there's, like, six months of, like, before you're, like, official, right? And then I think your honeymoon phase can last for, like, a year. Because I always think about it in, like, seasons. You know what I mean? So you have, like, this is the first time that we've been dating, like, in the winter. So we're going to, like, get, we're going to go to, like, a cabin.

We're going to fuck all weekend long. You know what I mean? We're, like, we're snuggled up by the fire and we're smashing. And it's the first time. it's the summer now together so i think you get a season a cycle in of honeymoon phase and then you're around like 18 months two years you know what i mean that's where i think it it's it could probably like it'll start and then i think and this is where it's sad because i do think it's for a lot of girls and probably maybe vice versa sometimes it goes the other way i think it's for a lot of girls and probably maybe vice versa. Sometimes it goes the other way. I think it's about basically like checking the box and like making sure you

just like give him what he wants, what he needs. So I think, but I think women want and need to, they do. But I do think that there is some truth to the stereotype of like guys are going to want to fuck more. I don't,

I get, yeah, I'm sure there is because i do agree that i think stereotypes are largely based in truth like stereotypes are like jokes they come from somewhere right there's a reason why i i think that it's somewhere more in the middle where there's plenty of girls who want to have sex as well but i i also i mean there is just something that happens when you put the ring on, something happens. And when you have kids, it just something else happens.

And all of a sudden, and again, we're talking about unhealthy situations, but it's just like, who is this person? Cause I did not sign up for that, you know? So at that point,

I feel like if you like, if you just like throw your guy a bone and fuck him like once a week, at least he'll, he'll just be like, see, I'm a binge sexer. Okay. I like, I have a binge sexer okay I like I have like when I have sex I have sex

like five times a night in that 12 hour span but that's a product that's a product of like a lot of times I feel like it's like you specifically have somebody visiting or or it's like you're not gonna see them for a little while if you were like living with someone or in the same city.

See, that's why I'm talking. I've never lived with anybody. You can't keep that pace up, bro. Right, right, right. I know I can't. I walk funny for a week. I'm like, I can't cross my legs because my fucking glutes hurt. Wait, who's fucking who, John?

I said glutes, not sphincter. They clenched the glutes. That's how you thrust. In the beginning, you'll have those binges, you'll have those marathons, and it's a pretty steady thing. And then when you start living together, it's only natural. And this is why monogamy is a fucking sham. It's just because both people eventually are just like,

I don't really want to fuck that dick again. I want to fuck that dick again i want to fuck that vagina again but i i feel like i remember at barcel there would always be a moment where i'd be like fucking i'm done with this i don't like this place i'm gonna look elsewhere and i'd get an email from dave and he'd be like all right like you you know here's like a little bit more money here's like a raise and i'd be like okay all right fine like it resets the clock i feel like you here's like a little bit more money. Here's like a raise. And I'd be like, okay, all right, fine. Like it resets the clock. I feel like you're on like a week long drought and you're like, God damn it. Like this girl's driving me crazy.

And then like that Thursday night she fucks you and it just resets the clock. And by next Thursday you're like angry again. And she's like, all right, I'll blow you. And it's like, okay, I think that's enough to like the minimum to keep your guy like not breaking up with you or not cheating I'm going to defer to you I don't I what does that sound like to you does that sound like way too like or are you like oh shit is I'm gonna have only I don't know I don't I don't plan anything in my entire life so I don't really know like I haven't been like if I told you that like

you're gonna you're gonna fuck like once a week after a little while, would you be like, damn, that sucks? Or are you like, okay, I can deal with that. I can probably deal with it. I don't know. I have sex. It's so lame. I can say more than that. But like you said, it's a product of.

It's so lame. I have sex more than that. But like I have. It's a product of. I mean, like on average, on weekly average. Yes. But like it's a product of like people coming to average on weekly average yes but like it's it's a product of like people coming to see me and like yeah yeah i don't and like oh and with that not only

that's a time restraint but it's like you're excited you want to right you're into it it's like and it's like she's gonna be gone again so i'm gonna fuck three more times right now right so it's it's i don't know i i honestly don't know i am obviously the wrong person to ask a question on a two-year relationship because I have no idea what the hell that is. Yeah, this is a true adolescent to adolescent thing where we're coming from. I mean. But also I've never like, I've never been with a girl hanging out in an apartment

being like, I need to have sex right now. I need to have sex. I don't think it becomes for me it wasn't like i've got this fucking boner that i've got to get rid of it was like uh this is this is bad this is a problem for the relationship like right that's what we're on a drought here that's more than just like our schedules didn't match up or whatever we're on a drought here that's like she doesn't really want to and i'm almost like getting to the point where i'm drought here that's like she doesn't really want to and i'm almost like getting to the point where i'm okay with the fact that she doesn't want to you know yeah no

that's you know what the real goal is here you have to have enough sex before it gets awkward because with me once it got awkward i was like i'm not having this conversation i'm not gonna i i i'm too young it's so lame if i have to get to the point where I'm like, we need to like schedule sex. We need to, we'd have a sex night. We need, I need to talk to you about how little we're fucking. Cause we don't like confrontation. We don't like to do those awkward things. So once it got awkward, it was rap.

So if like this girl right now, if you're having this conversation, if you're calling up about this, something's going on, you need to start fucking. I agree with that. Because otherwise, it's going to be a problem. The physiological shit, I mean, I don't know. I had sex two times in like three years, bro. And there's two trophies because of it. But, you know, on that like fourth year, I obviously made some choices.

But it was pretty, at that point, it was a pretty big problem, I obviously made some choices, but it was pretty, at that point, it was a pretty big problem, I'd say. So, fuck you, man, once a week. KFC,

Fights, BC, got a quick question for you. I was scrolling through Twitter this morning and saw one of the worst kinds of Twitter that I can think of. Easily the first one that I get rid of. And I'm just curious

as to what your guys' first I get rid of. And I'm just curious as to what your guys' first to get rid of would be or if I was to say fights, I know you hate those people who ride around on two wheels. And KFC, I know you have a lot that you can swipe from. But

mine is Rave Twitter. Rave Twitter is so fucking annoying. Race? All about happiness and joy, which I know you guys are all against. And all I see is their fucking posts with all their white-up fucking hands and shit that they twirl around when they're all at the Raves. It drives me crazy.

I cannot stand it. And they are easily the first group that I would get rid of if I had my choice. So my question is, what is your least favorite type of Twitter to deal with, to interact with, to see on a daily basis? Just want to hear your thoughts. Well, I mean, this is a throwback question. Before Twitter, we said, like, if you could erase one group of people, your very first episode, you had that quick trigger with magicians. Now that's transitioned to like twitter groups that really is like the new mark of the new measurement like which twitter group do you hate the most uh i don't know my old answer would have been hockey

twitter but i think i feel like they've taken his annex tone down yeah they're well i think you know what i think enough of them got caught doing creepy shit that they knew they needed to fucking calm down yeah they were i mean there was a stretch where Hockey Twitter was just the absolute worst. You hate Basketball Twitter. Your answer is Basketball Twitter. No, I don't hate Basketball Twitter. You don't hate it, but it's happened enough. I think Basketball Twitter is largely funny.

I think they're very annoying at times, too. I've heard, but I don't hear you speak on groups of Twitter a lot, but that has come out a couple times. That's your answer. I'm answering for you. Basketball Twitter makes everything a much bigger deal. Baseball Twitter's creeping up. Hall of Fame Baseball Twitter's creeping up. Let's

table this discussion because I wholeheartedly disagree with your take on this. With Mariano? Yes. Okay. What do you disagree with? I disagree with that you said that it's not like an established part of the game. The real pitcher is.

That is... An established part of the game. So this is what's going to be my answer. My least favorite group of people are dumb people on Twitter. And you are in there, apparently. Okay. I saw two of your tweets on it. My argument is not...

Maybe you just didn't explain it very well. I would vote for Mariano Rivera. I explained it perfectly clear. And that's why it was unbelievable that people were like, I can't believe you don't think Mariano Rivera is a Hall of Famer I was like I said in every single tweet I got that I think that I'm stunned that the

reaction here was the expectation for this to be unanimous I was stunned by that's fair because relief pitching is probably the most debated value in baseball okay that's you didn't say you said established position or something like that pitching is probably the most debated value in baseball.

Okay. That's you didn't say like you said, established position or something like that. I don't think I said that, but I was saying something to the effect of we have always argued the value of relief pitchers. I think that at this point in the game, it's probably less than it's ever been. Not really.

Pitching is important. And I think it's higher than bullpen. Yes. Not... Relief pitching is important. Oh, I think it's higher than it's ever been. Yes, bullpens are actually more important. Closers specifically. So, like, we're doing closer by committee. We're talking about using your closer in the seventh inning instead of the ninth. We're talking about the whole...

Everything is constantly changing to the point that it's... If there was a baseball writer who was like, I don't think that a single relief pitcher is as valuable as other positions on the diamonds, so I don't feel the absolute need to put this guy on my ballot. I wouldn't do it. I think there's some validity. After all the other people who have gone who have not been unanimous, I thought it was crazy this is when the time that the the general public drew the line in the sand okay he has to be unanimous i agree with all i agree with all that i i wouldn't have lost i don't think mariano

rivera deserved to be the first unanimous i think i think others before him should have agreed i actually think what's going on is not mariano i think it's a good i think it's a combination of three things mariano was so far in a way better than everybody who's ever done it to i think mariano should have been unanimous i don't think he should have been the first unanimous. But I think the reason why it's unanimous is that he is so far and away better, but he is also the man and everybody loves him.

I think that plays into effect. And I do think it's a matter of timing. I think they've started to weed out a lot of those assholes. And so if it could have been Jeter next year, or it could have been Randy Johnson and Maddox. And is Pedro already done? Yeah, Pedro. Pedro only got like 79 percent of the vote or something. I think a lot of those people have been weeded out to the point that it just happened to be on the year where Mariano Rivera and social media.

A lot of people don't want to be that guy anymore. I think it just happens to be the perfect storm. But more of a timing thing that Mariano was up once the voting group has kind of changed. I agree with that, but I also don't like the, well, how valuable is that position? If that's the best person to ever play that position, then they get in. If that position exists and they're the best to ever do it, then they get 100%. And this is me coming from a place of, I know what's going to happen when David Ortiz is up, and I'm not waiting 10 years like Edgar fucking Martinez. Well, how about this? The DH is a position.

You vote for it. He's the best to ever do it. He's 100%. Put him in. I have a thought. I think you should get one shot on the ballot. That's crazy, Todd. Why?

Like, why is Edgar Martinez a Hall of Famer today, but he wasn't 10 years ago? He's always been. Yeah, but that's— I think that would change. I think that people would be... If they were like, we only got one shot here, I'm not going to fuck around. Like, I do think Edgar Martinez is a Hall of Famer.

I'm voting for him. I think a lot of people fall back on that. But then I think everybody that is up that year, like, there can't be any limit. Like, you could potentially put 10 guys in. There's 10 fucking Hall of Famers on the ballot. I don't think you should get one year because there's no league that gives one year.

Like, the Baseball Hall of Fame... I go back and forth. If you're a Hall of Famer, you're a Hall of Famers on the ballot. I don't think you should get one year because there's no league that gives one year. The Baseball Hall of Fame, I go back and forth. If you're a Hall of Famer, you're a Hall of Famer. It shouldn't be this year versus that year, 10 years from now on the ballot. Nothing's changed. I mean, I agree with that. I think you're right. But also, I don't know what the fix is. I don't think it's one year.

I don't think the fix is one year. Because then you will have people getting snubbed. But I do think people would be more inclined to be like, I think right now there are probably some people who are like, I'll put him on my ballot next year. And it's like, if he's a Hall of Famer now, he's a Hall of Famer then, you should fucking just vote for him. Right. You're right.

I mean, you're right. I mean, there's, and I, but like, I mean, there are some other factors where it's like, you know, with steroids, where are we getting? Because they're both close, right? They were both in the seventies, I thought. But they ain't moving. I think they're at like 69% and 70% and it is not changing.

They were that time last year too? Yeah. I think I saw when the ballot was cast like 60% of the ballots were counted and I think Bonds is like 73%. No, no, no. Yeah, Bonds is at 73%, Clemens was at 71% or something like that.

I guess they've gone down once the other 40% got counted but I was surprised to see how high they were I was like they're fucking they're close but I think that the change is not I don't know that's a good question how many I think Edgar I mean Edgar had to be on for a long time

yeah so it's probably 10 years MLB Network putting up the graphic of people who'd got 0% that's just rude. Poor Darren Oliver sitting at home and he just sees Darren Oliver 0.0. Is that necessary? That's fucked up. Why is somebody like that on the ballot?

I know. I would be honored to be that guy. I was like, Ted Lilly? Jason Bay was on the ballot. Jason Bay was on the ballot? I don't know what the criteria. He should be. That's like, you know, Oscar.

Oh, where it's an honor to be nominated. You put me on this ballot I think that's amazing I'm a Hall of Fame nominee Yeah If you get zero If you get under 5% I think it is

You're off Manny's Manny's getting close to that Manny's like 20% Manny Ramirez Yeah That's crazy Manny Ramirez

Is not a Hall of Famer No I mean he failed He like Oh because of PEDs Yeah Clement Clement Oh right okay okay That makes sense No but Manny Ramirez is not a Hall of Famer? No. He failed. Oh, because of PEDs. Yeah, Clemens. Oh, right.

Okay, okay. That makes sense. No, but Manny's the greatest right-handed hitter ever. He's a monster. They should just do it. Nobody has to vote for them, so nobody has to be the guy that put it in. We're putting the whole era in. Put everybody in.

Put an asterisk or whatever. I saw Tyler debating this with Edelman the other day. And you can't tell the story of baseball without Manny Ramirez. Somebody said to me, isn't the Hall of Fame... He was a humongous piece of breaking the curse of the Bambino. Yeah. And I mean, Bonds and fucking Clemens. But Manny failed two tests. They didn't admit it.

That's a problem. I forgot that. I don't even think of that with Mannyny because he's just like so funny it's just awesome yeah i somebody said to me well with the mariano debate because again dumb people on twitter were taking it to be i'm a bitter mets fan who just hates mariano it's like that's not what i'm saying i'm saying that the closer position is debated so why would this be unanimous but someone was like but he is but he should i don't think you you were saying like why should be united he should be unanimous? But someone was like, but he is, but he should, I don't think you, you were saying like, why should be unanimous? He should be unanimous.

He just, he shouldn't have been the first. Uh, yes, but I also, I also don't think if anything, any closer should be expected to not be unanimous was my point. It's the most contested debated position on the diamond,

but it's a, why would we not contest and debate their value on your Hall of Fame ballot but it's a position yeah so he's the best one Lenny Harris is the best pinch hitter of all time a pinch hitter is not a position what about the best what if there was the best setup man in history

then yeah you want 100% unanimous for Jeff Nelson Jeff Nelson was the best 7th inning guy I've ever seen 100% he's for Jeff Nelson. Jeff Nelson was the best seventh inning guy I've ever seen. 100%. I mean, seventh inning, he's not a setup guy. Best eighth inning. I don't know, fucking J.J. Putts was the best ever. But a setup man isn't a position either.

It's a relief position. But that's my point is that a closer is a position. But it's very debated. But it's a position. You call Byron the closer. Yeah, but I'm saying. You don't call him the setup man. When he comes into the game,

it doesn't say the setup man. It says RP. But the closer now is debated. Sometimes people don't even have a closer. Sometimes I use different guys in my closer. But it's a position that exists. But do you see that we're having

a debate right now about it? Yes, but I'm not. So why would there not be... I'm saying the closer is a position. The closer is a position... First of all, I don't think that. I don't think that it says, like, Mariano Rivera, closer. I think that we don't think that it says like Mariano Rivera closer I think

that we call him that because of that is what we have come to like believe and expect in baseball when really he's just another reliever some people pitch the six some people pitch the ninth we used to think the ninth was the most important now we're starting to learn you should use them in any position if the sixth inning is the most pivotal point use them then these are all things that people debate all the time. So the thought that there wasn't going to be any baseball writers debating that, I thought was crazy. Did you want to call him a relief pitcher? He's the greatest relief pitcher of all time, too.

Right. So whatever position you want to put him in, he's the greatest at it. If you look at his war, it's way lower than a lot of people. I hate war. Right. But these are things that people do debate my my point was more about the absolute expectation for a unanimous vote on what is a highly debated position but uh i forgot my last point there and because the baseball writers have our baseball writers

are assholes yeah i mean they, they're always the fucking worst. And Mariano Rivera murdered two people in Panama. And he stole Enter Sandman from Billy Wagner. Whatever. Whatever. Last voicemail of the day before we get into Dean Winters. Last voicemail is brought to you by Robin Hood. You want to make that money and you're an idiot?

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Last voicemail. What's up? Hey, what's up? KFC Spice, DC. So I had a friend that had a medical emergency a little while ago. And they were in the hospital for quite some time. that had a medical emergency a little while ago. What an odd thing to say. And they were in the hospital for quite some time, and eventually their parents wanted their phone.

So me and my friend, we kind of panicked. It was our good friend that had the emergency, so me and her roommate went through the phone. We got rid of all the whatever bad stuff would be on there, because we didn't know the reasoning for why her parents wanted her phone. It turns out they didn't want it for snooping or anything. They just wanted to have it. But my question is, if something were to happen or if someone needed your phone that shouldn't have it, who would you choose to go through? Well, you have a good business, right?

Don't you have an idea where your phone self-destructs when you die or something like that? That sounds like something I'd say. We had this call about the guy who had the blow-up dolls in his house. Somebody chopped it up or some shit like that. This has definitely been a discussion we've had before where you need

some sort of the moment I die. I need my heart rate connected to my iPhone. And if it stops, that blows up. Mission impossible. This phone will self-destruct as soon as the heart rate stops. Ain't nobody going to be going through that thing. But also, I don't know.

In my old age, I've come to just not care about that stuff anymore. Like, yeah, if you go through my. And I think it's just because I've learned. You know how they say like liars are always they always think someone else is lying to them yeah and like i i guess i just i just don't think of anyone going through my phone because i would never go through someone else's phone so i just i just don't but i don't know i don't prepare for that when soldier boy handed you his phone it was you definitely were like oh shit i can't believe you're like trusting me to do this so yeah but i was like joking no but it goes like it never other people would though other people never cross my mind like i i do that when i'm like if i go over to you and you're on your g chat

and like i intentionally don't look at what you're doing i i make it a point to not look at your thing i'm very good at just minding my own business and i'll go over not girls i will i'll like it doesn't matter what's going on if someone sees their path like someone's typing their password i'll like make a scene yeah how about this i was in uh i was in a cab like a little like a little local cab from my my train station to my house so it's just like a mom and pop type of taxi cab and they have a little credit card thing just like hitched on the back of the the headrest so people in back use it so she was sitting in front of it and i had to kind of lean over and you don't

have to enter your pin or anything i think it was just my tip and this woman was like don't worry i will look away i i was like i guess so but i was like it's okay if you see that i gave the fucking cab driver a two dollar tip on the five dollar fucking thing right but yeah i mean i was like okay i respect that. Everybody should just mind your own fucking bitch. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. You know how much I fucking hate people telling me how to raise my kids and shit? Oh, God. People like with the fucking car seats, you know what I mean? Oh, well, she's not strapped in perfectly or like it should be rear facing or front facing until I put up a fucking video the other day of me combing Shay's hair. She was going to bed. So she had a pacifier in.

Shay sleeps with pacifier still. The number of motherfuckers who started DMing me about my future orthodontics bills, I swear to God, I would burn down all their houses if I could find them. And I took the time to reply to every single one of them. One girl, I said, fuck you. Another girl, I said, shut the fuck up. Another guy I said, mind your fucking business. I was just going off on these people.

They were DMing you? They were DMing me. See, why are you looking at DMs? Mind your own business. They were like replying to my story. My DMs are not my business. Is that a DM? I'm so not in on this.

It's a DM. Yeah, yeah. So I had my DMs open for the first time on there. So it was like popping up. So I'm reading them. And I almost was hate reading them because I was like, I know this is going to be. That's not your business. Don't look at your DMs.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you right now. My three year old daughter. I'm going to get her fucking pacifier when she goes to sleep. Guess what? Her teeth right now. They're going to fall out of her fucking head. Also, the new teeth that are growing.

They're going to be crooked because everybody's teeth are. Mine were, their mother's is, their teeth are going to be fucked up. I'm going to be paying for braces anyway. Guess what she does now when she has a pacifier? She goes the fuck to sleep. She's living in a new house. She's three years old. It's the winter. She's been sick. I'm giving her a fucking pacifier. She's not 20. I'm not giving my 16-year-old a pacifier. My nanny said, you know what? She's like, I took the paci away from my daughter when she was three. She sucked her thumb until she was 13.

That's not good either. How about you let my fucking kid do whatever the fuck she needs to to go to sleep? But why would you just not read your DMs? The other people's opinion of you is not your business. That's a wildly not accurate but super accurate take. Yeah. People talking directly to me about me absolutely is my business, yet somehow it's not at all my business.

No, it doesn't have to be your business. But, I mean, you know, I mean, it is. It's not. It is. People talking behind your back is not your business. They're talking about it to my face. But, no, you know, I mean, it is. It's not. It is. People talking behind your back is not your business. They're talking about it to my face. But no, it's like, it's not. Because you have to go out of your way to read DMs.

I mean, it's a direct, it's a literal direct message. My direct messages are only, I can only get direct messages from people who I follow. If I text you, is that your business? But you, they can't text you. They're going, they're finding extravagant ways to contact you. It's not that extravagant. And you're embracing it. You have to hit read, you have to like turn on other people who I don't follow.

You don't use those DMs for anything else. If you were having lots of conversations back and forth, but you check those DMs to hate check them. Yeah. Well, it's brand new. I'd probably check it to see if there's any girls fucking sliding in there. But that's why I do it. But it's somehow people talking about me and to me is definitely

not my business it's not I love it yeah if you're a regular person maybe even but if you're a regular person I would say if someone talking behind your back isn't your business it is you don't need to hear that it's just gonna fucking bother you the phenomenon of what looks like pretty regular fucking people thinking that it's reasonable to message them in any way about their kids is fucking insane. That is like the last thing in the world I would ever do. Be like, oh man, look at that. Look at that

video. I'm going to tell that guy how to raise his kid. Like, yeah, you want to get in the mix about Mariano Rivera and baseball opinions and shit, fine. You're worried about Shea Clancy's pacifier? You should die in a fire, man. I agree. You're worried about Shea Clancy's pacifier? You should die in a fire, man. I agree. You should fucking die in a fire.

Speaking of houses burning down, mayhem is here. Dean Winters, one of my favorite guests ever. He was, he's one of those guys, like, you know, you think mayhem, the commercial actor, and, like, the guy from Oz one time ago.

Is he going to be a good case radio guest? The answer is a resounding yes. Dennis Duffy, yes. Resounding fucking yes. So Dean Winters is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. If you are starting a job, if you have a job opening, you're starting a business and you need to fill it. Do you want to have to search high and low for the person? Or would you rather have some robot, some artificial intelligence, some company, whatever ZipRecruiter is, some magical service,

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Dean Winters. Let's talk to him. This is live, right? No, no. If you say anything, we can say whatever you want. Don't lose my fucking job. All right. We're live in studio with Dean Winters, you know him from 30 Rock and Law & Order and Oz.

But, you know, everybody knows Mayhem. Yep. And the first thing you said when you walked in is, don't lose me my Mayhem gig because I would imagine that is a gravy train you do not want to get off of, brother. Best job ever. Hands down. I mean, I'll take this job over an Oscar any day. Yes!

That's what I'm talking about, man. Let's keep it. Let's keep it real. I'm so happy to hear that. I could see a scenario where someone comes in like I'm so much more than mayhem and I've been in this and that. And I'm I'm Juilliard trained like fuck that. Fuck you. Yeah.

Go go run across the stage with a spear. How long have youhem been going? Toga. It's been a while now, though. Yeah, we shot the first commercial in May 2010, so we're creeping up on nine years. We shot 100. I think we've shot 102 commercials,

and we've shot somewhere around 50 social media, and I've done close to 1,000 radio spots. Is that what you've made the most money off of in your career? How does that work? I mean, yeah. I mean, without a doubt. I mean, it's a great job money-wise, and I'm not just saying this to be a corporate guy, but honestly, it's like one of the best jobs I've ever had because the people at Allstate and Leo Burnett, which the ad agency, they're based in Chicago.

I mean, these guys really have it down to a science, and they take really good care of me. And, you know, they let me bring my team. I've had the same stunt double since Oz. He comes with me. I've had the same makeup artist in Sex and the City. She comes with me. I have Robert De Niro's stylist.

She's the one who built the suit. So we've done all these jobs together. And it's been like... So really, they're doing the work. What do you even do, Dean? No, I basically sit in the trailer, I make a martini, and I watch my stunt double fall off a roof.

Yeah. And catch the jackass. That is the best fucking job in the world. Jesus. I thought we had an easy one here. What hospital room is he in? What a gig, man. You have been in, you just listed some of them off.

I mean, you've been in some of the heavy hitter shows of all time, though. I mean, pound for pound, it's like, everyone talks about The Sopranos, which is a great show. A lot of my friends are on it, and Gianna Lafini was a buddy. Oz was the first show, was the first hour dramatic show ever on cable television. And I feel like, you know, we were kind of like the Lewis and Clark of cable television. Yeah, absolutely. And so I'll give it, I'll take Oz over anything, any day. I don't think Oz got the absolute love that it should have gotten.

But there's also something cool about knowing that we all, I think the inside track is, is that everyone has mad respect for that show. And Tom Fontana, who created that show, is an absolute genius. And he paved the way for guys like David Chase and guys like Darren Star and all these people that came in with these great shows. Game of Thrones would not be Game of Thrones if it wasn't for Oz. None of those shows. Nothing would. So, so there's not be Game of Thrones if it wasn't for Oz. None of those shows. Nothing would.

So we kind of take pride in that. There's like really no, honestly, there's no bitterness. But it was just, you know, Oz was just, I mean, if people haven't watched it, I strongly suggest that you go into your HBO files and watch it because it's such a prescient show now. Like, you know, The show came out in 97 and we were the first show that had a Muslim lead,

a gay lead, a black lead. Now all these shows are like, oh, we have our free... It's like, no, we did it all before all of you guys. Get on board here. I feel like everybody talks about The Wire, The Soprano, Breaking Bad, all those shows. They're all great shows.

The first one, was like there was some fucked up stuff going on and some heavy material. Now it's kind of common but back in 97 it was a big deal to have some of these prison scenes. As actors we would read these scripts and we're like holy fuck we're all going to hell.

This show's got no legs. Don't watch this. I mean, people, the shit that was going on in those scripts. But, you know, when you're writing a show about a prison, it's like, let's keep it real. We're not doing a show about a prep school here. You know what I mean? So I think Tom Fontana really kept it real.

Anyway. That's what I've never seen. I fancy myself a pretty solid television watcher. That's what I've never gotten around to. I would watch it. Every single year, I'm like, I've got to watch Oz this year. I've got to watch Oz. I didn't make a 2019 resolution.

That'll be it this year. Yeah, just get a big bowl of crystal meth and catch the flu. And then just watch it for like, you can watch the whole thing in like two days. That's a standard Friday night for me. I'll work that in, though. So you mentioned before, aside from commercials and acting, you were a bartender and working in the clubs for, say, 17 different clubs? Yeah, well, my first job in New York City, I was a doorman at a lounge on the Upper East Side for Mariel Hemingway, Ernest Hemingway's granddaughter. It's called Sam's Cafe.

And I was a doorman. And, you know, doorman in New York City is a rough job. And it's just a lot of fights, just a lot of drama. And so I begged the management. I was like, look, I can't do this anymore. Can someone teach me how to bartend? And then I started bartending. And my brother and I became, my brother Scott Winters,

who's actually, he plays, he played my brother Cyril on Oz. Yeah. You should really watch this show. So Scott and I became this kind of brother, this duo brother bartender gimmick. And we got hired all over New York City together as brothers. And we, it was like, you ever see the movie Cocktail? Yeah.

It was like that on steroids. On meth. Yeah, on meth. the movie Cocktail? Yeah. It was like that on steroids. On meth. Yeah, on meth, exactly. And it was insane. I mean, the stories that we have from that. But from that, from us bartending, we met Tom Fontana. We were bartending one night at a bar called Jim McMullin's on the Upper East Side. And Tom Fontana, who created St. Elsewhere and Homicide Life on the Street,

he came into the bar one night and we started talking and we became friends. At this point, are you an actor at all? Yeah, I became an actor late. I started taking classes when I was 28 at a place called the William Esper Studio. And then I helped found a theater company in Tribeca called the Workhouse Theater. So I was like selling tickets and doing like really bad plays and bartending, just hustling. I was a hustler, doing a lot of things I can't talk about on the radio. No one's listening.

No one's listening. Just talk. But Tom Fontana just happened to wander into the bar one night. He saw my brother and I bartending, and he liked our style, and he saw the way that we hustled people. and he ended up writing a part for me on a show called homicide um and then um and then i got a job on a movie called the conspiracy theory with julia roberts and mel gibson and i went to la and i was doing this movie and you know they were great people and everyone was great but i just didn't feel like it was a good fit for me and so i tried to get my job back as a bartender and and they wouldn't have me back. And then Tom Fontana said, thank you very much.

Tom Fontana said, you know, why don't you just sit tight? I'm doing a little show about a prison. And, you know, if you're on board, you know, I want to write you this part. Cheers. Salute. We're not drinking beer, by the way. So Tom Fontana wrote the part of Ryan O'Reilly For me and Oz Based on watching me bartend

Because when I was a bartender I had this theory that I just mottoed that If you left my bar with cab fare Then I failed Cleaning you the fuck out I would like literally take scissors And cut your pockets out if I had to

So basically that's how the character Ryan O'Reilly was born um because for you guys who watch the show not you you know the guy was a straight-up hustler and uh and when i was when you're a bartender in the early 90s in new york city pre-cell phones pre-everything you and i was like couch surfing sleeping on people's roofs i mean it was like sitting on the roof why didn't you get inside? No, I was like, there were some crazy times, you know,

some dark times, but you had to hustle. You had to find any way you could to feed yourself and to stay warm, and so that's kind of how that part was born on Oz. It sounds like you got a wealth of stories.

Yeah. But the one that kind of jumped out at me is that you've been fucking dead before. Yeah, that happened. Dead like two minutes and then resuscitated type dead? No, for four minutes and 50 seconds. Four minutes and 50. That's a long time.

That's too long to be dead. I'll say it, though. Yeah. That was a weird day. What happened, man? I mean, it's a really long time. That's too long to be dead. I'll sign it, though. That was a weird day. What happened, man? It's a really long story. Bottom line is, when I was a kid, I lost my spleen. Where'd you put it?

Yeah, I lost it. I couldn't find it. And so, for years, I was okay. A lot of hockey players, football players, they don't have spleens. I don't even know what it does. It basically washes your white cells when you get sick. hockey players, football players, they don't have spleens. I don't even know what it does. Basically, it kind of washes your white cells when you get sick.

Sounds important. A guy missing his spleen knows what a spleen does. You can live without it, but you have to get these vaccinations every three years. And in March 2009, my doctor's nurse forgot to give me my vaccination. And cut to I caught streptptomonias and then cut to, I woke up on the floor of my apartment and I turned gray and my girlfriend rushed me to the hospital, to my doctor's office. And then the ambulance showed up and then I, I expired in the ambulance. And they got me back to life at Lenox Hill hospital.

And I was in ICU for five weeks and I was told I wasn't going to walk again. And I was on 30 rock at the time. And, uh, you know, life just went South, but I, I just, I just literally, I mean, literally it disappeared. The life was gone, man. Yeah. No, I mean, I, it was, you know, there, there was a point there where I just didn't think I was going to come back from this. And, uh, and, uh, but you know, but I did, you know, you persevere and, and, um, it's's funny like when i was in the hospital having i had 17 surgeries in two years and right after my 10th surgery my agent came to my hospital room and he goes um you know i hadn't i hadn't at this point i hadn't worked in like eight months because i

just yeah i couldn't walk and uh my agent came to my hospital room he goes he goes yeah um you've been offered this job uh by all by Allstate. They want you to be their new spokesperson. And I was like, and this, and this is what I said, word for word. I go, listen, I became an actor, so I wouldn't have to put on a suit and sell insurance. I passed. Right. And my agent's like, that's great. And my agent's like, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I go, trust me. So then like a week later, they came back again. And then the following week, they came back again.

And I said to my agent, I go, do these people know that I'm in a hospital bed? And I just lost like three toes, part of my foot, my thumb. I can't walk. He's like, no, we're not going to tell them any of this. I'm like, well, how the fuck am I going to do this job? He goes, we're going to make it work. Yeah, well, hustler. Yeah, hustler.

Hustle, yeah. So a big shout out to Bill Butler, my agent manager, one of my best friends for a very long time. This guy was just a godsend, and he talked me into it. And so I basically, they sent me the script, you know, the teenage girl texting, you know, back in the day in the pink SUV. They sent me that one and I was like, wow, this is actually kind of funny. So I said, listen, all right, I'll tell you what, I'll do this job on one condition. I said, the director has to come over to my house and he has to come over with a six pack.

They're like, okay. So the director shows up at my house like a couple of days later, this cat named Phil Morrison shows up with a six pack. They're like, okay. So the director shows up at my house, like a couple of days later, this cat named Phil Morrison shows up with a six pack of beer. He's like, Hey, I'm Phil. What do you want to talk about? And I took, I showed him my hands. I took off my shoes and my socks. I said, look, and I just got out of the hospital and his jaw hit the ground. I said, if you can work with this, if you can hire my stunt double, this cat, Dave Shumbris, if you, if we can do this as a team together, I'm your guy. If not, I don't want to get in the way of your creative vision. Like I don't want to hold anybody up. The guy's like, it's the job is yours.

And then we shot, we started shooting the commercials in May, 2010. You want to hear the crazy thing? I died on June 19th, 2009 at nine o'clock in the morning. The first mayhem commercial aired June 19th, 2010, nine o'clock in the morning. Shit. Was that intentional? No. No. One year to the day.

Wow. That I was in an ambulance, like, you know, checking out. Being able to even say, you know, I died on 2009. It was it. You were done. Describing it as an interesting day. Right. This is crazy.

You see any light or anything like that? Yeah, yeah. Can you confirm or deny an afterlife? No, I didn't see any bright lights. My life didn't flash in front of me. He just died. Yeah. The only thing that I heard was when I was in the ambulance and there was a guy on top

of me doing chest compressions and the driver was driving through the tunnel on 64th Street going east through the park. And my girlfriend at the time, I was dating this Brazilian model and she was in the front seat of the car. Sure, why not? Yeah, why not? I mean, as you do when you're dying. And she's in the front seat having a conniption fit, losing her mind. And like all this noise is going on and all of a sudden everything just goes silent. I hear a voice say, come with me.

That's the only thing I heard. That's the moment that I died. I find I didn't they don't tell you you die. I found out five weeks later that I had died. I did the math and that exact moment when I heard come with me that's when I died.

It could have been the paramedic talking to someone. Who knows? I think I know what it was. James Earl Jones? Yeah. I mean, you know, when you die and someone says, come with me. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like from your days on the Upper East Side, I know where you were going, bro.

I don't think it was the paramedic, man. That is wild, dude. And the Brazilian model is, I mean, I'd imagine, resuscitated, come back to life, Saxon. Yeah, yeah. No, listen, she was really, she was great. I mean, she got me through a very hard time. I got a lot of respect for her.

And, you know, it didn't work out in the end, but she was special. Jacqueline, she was a lifesaver, actually. Quite literally. Yeah. Found you gray on the floor. If I found someone gray on my floor, I'd just be like, this is over. Housekeeping. Yeah.

I leave it. I leave it. I went out to get cigarettes. I'll see you in 15 years. Clean yourself up. So out of your roles, 30 Rock, you were what, Benson's husband or love interest on Law & Order? Oz. Take out Oz because I feel like Oz has a special place.

What would be your section of the city? What's your main role? 30 Rock. 30 Rock. I actually got a theory here. So Wayne is the show Dean's here promoting. Comes out on YouTube original on Friday, I believe, the 17th. I have a theory here. So Wayne is the show Dean's here promoting. Comes out on YouTube original on Friday, I believe, the 17th. I have a theory that your character in Wayne,

except we got the first five screeners, that's Dennis Duffy, just older. You lost Black Dennis somewhere along the way. So you actually watched one of my shows. I watch two of your shows now. Yeah, no. The 30 Rock, I mean, 30 Rock was like, you want to hear a funny 30 Rock story? Yep.

Always. So 30 Rock was a, I mean, first of all, I think it's probably right up there with Cheers. I think 30 Rock is the most underrated comedy ever in television history. I personally think it's the funniest show I've ever seen. I did too. It's up there with Always Sunny. Always Sunny as well. Yeah, I love Always Sunny. But I got the call, this was like I think in around 2000,

whenever the first season was. I got a call from my agent. Actually, my agent was in Europe. Bill Butler was in Europe. And his assistant, Kite, was covering his desk. And Kite calls me and says, yeah, 30 Rock, the show hadn't even aired yet, and they're getting ready to do their third episode. He goes, yeah, it's this comedy with Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin,

and they're interested in you for one of the parts. And I hadn't done any comedy. The only thing I had done was Sex and the City, but I hadn't really done comedy comedy. So I was kind of reluctant. The director was this guy, Adam Bernstein from Oz, and so he was going to be in the room. So I was like, all right, I'll give it a shot.

So I get the pages. It was like a nine-page audition. It was a monster, right? I was like, fuck. So I go to the sign-in up at 30 Rock at Rockefeller Center. And I walk in there. And there's like 15 guys reading for the part. And I recognize all of them.

They're like the funniest guys in my age group in television. Every single one has been on a comedy. And I walk in. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? No one's going to give me this fucking job, right? So I sign up. And I leave. And I go to Central Park and I get a beer

and I sit down in the middle of Sheeps Meadow and I start getting a suntan. I'm like, I'm not going in on this fucking audition. Right? About an hour later, I get a phone call from this kid, Keite. He's like, hey, how'd the 30 Rock audition go? I go, yeah, it was good. You know, I think they like me,

but you know, you never really know. There's like a lot of guys there. He goes, that's funny. Cause he goes, they're actually wondering where you are. And I, and I, he goes, where are you? I go, I'm in Chiefs Meadow having a beer. He goes, you need to go back there right now. I go, nah, I'm good.

He goes, no, if you don't go there, we're going to drop you. Me and the agency. I go, you can't drop me. You're an assistant. He goes, if you don't go back there right now, we're going to drop you. I was like, okay. So I picked up my shit and I went over to,

and I went and I did the audition and I played it, I played it that way. I played it just dumb and straight. Like I, like every, I believed in everything that I said. Right. And I guess I was the only person that did that and that's exactly I didn't know that's what they were looking for

and that's what they were looking for I can't imagine you say that about a lot of characters but Dennis Duffy in particular I can't imagine someone else being the beeper king that's the perfect way to put it it was such a gift and my first scene was with Tina Fey right out in the middle of Rockefeller's 30 Rock Plaza.

And she was such a – I mean, I have such love for that woman and such respect for her. She's one of the coolest people I've met in this business. Like just no insecurity, no fear, and just like smart as hell and really fair. I can't say that about a lot of people in my business. Like, and she gave me a shot. Like, I mean, I had zero comedic experience. They could have hired anybody from, from all these comedy groups that could have fed and they took a chance with me and, and it ended up being a dream job. And it was like, it was like going to comedy school because i mean pound for pound there's not a better actor out there than alec baldwin there

really isn't you can say what you want about the guy people out there but he's a good i i like him but as an actor pound for pound he's like one of the best actors we've ever produced so it was like going to school watching and working with tracy morgan and judah freelander and jane krakowski and it was just like it was just a dream job, watching and working with Tracy Morgan and Judah Freelander and Jane Krakowski. And it was just like it was just a dream job. What was I heard Tracy Morgan and Tracy Jordan are basically the same person. Yeah. You know, it's funny. They can't even write for that guy. I mean, like he would just go off script and just start improvving.

And, you know, Tracy Morgan is just he's got a mind that. I mean, they should study that brain someday. I actually, I go back and watch 30 Rock, you know, all the time. And recently I've been rewatching it. And I realized that when he, when, when Jack has Tracy become a Republican. Yeah. That like he, it actually is the, the, the, the platform he's pushing is actually Trump's. He goes, my fellow black Americans, Martin Luther King had a dream.

It was to build a 20-foot high wall to keep Mexicans out, and he also hated the estate tax. It's spot on. Spot on. You're talking about like foresight, right? You know what's funny is that the mayhem the mayhem commercial um the guy that wrote it was this guy in chicago named matt miller and he was like 26 years old and his three favorite shows were 30 rock oz and um uh and uh rescue me and i just happened to be on all three at the same time so he actually wrote the character of Mayhem for me.

And so when Allstate was looking for their spokesperson, they wanted to go with a movie star. I mean, I know that they were talking to Jason Statham and some other people. And this guy was like, look, he goes, if you cast someone like Jason Statham, who's a great actor, as Mayhem,

it's going to be Jason Statham as Mayhem. Not Mayhem. If you cast Dean Winters, who no one really knows who he is, then he's the guy. So this guy fought for me, and he's the reason why I had the job. So you know what I mean? So you can never predict that type of success for a marketing campaign, can you? No. But, like, it sounds like they had this vision and, like, I mean, you never could have imagined that you were going to be 10 years in, you know, one of the most successful commercial

campaigns ever. Yeah, no, I mean, I have no idea. I mean, it's become, like, I mean, it's become the most successful insurance campaign ever, and it's, like, an iconic brand now. Yeah. And, you know. Yeah, I mean, it's,'s like most interesting man in the world with those X's

yeah and you that's it people get sick of that shit so fast we know it full well with you know like

Saturdays for the Boys was a big thing here and that had a two year run right ten year run ten years like every commercial like the Geico man

the caveman all that shit gets like a year like two years and you've been ten years and I don't know if you've see these last ones that we just did, um,

like stealing the car and this, I mean like, we, you know, so I, I, um, I called all state.

I, I, I, I get to have a little bit of saying as who I want to direct the ads. I mean, I, I don't hire them, but I,

I get to throw my two cents in. And, uh, a friend of mine represents Roman Coppola, who's Francis Ford Coppola's son. And Roman Coppola is very well known in the business. He's a great director. He has a great eye. And I was like, we need to get this guy on board as our director. And it's for two years, I tried to get them to hire Roman. And they're like, no, he's like, you know, he's too famous, blah, blah. Anyway, they finally caved. And Roman shot all the spots that are airing right now.

He shot those. We shot those in December in four days. And these new spots, I think, are some of the best ones. So I'm always, like, amazed at how the spots just seem to get better and better. There was, like, a little lull there for a while. But I think right now, like where we're at right now, it's like the sky's the limit. Because like with that word mayhem just comes,

there's so much you can do with it. That's it. I mean, it's the perfect word for it. I could be doing this shit like with a walker. Yeah. Like when I'm 90. You know what I mean? I could be tearing apart a nursing home. You know what I mean?

What's the favorite one you've shot? I mean, people always ask that. The favorite one I shot was the raccoon. I'm this raccoon, and I'm tearing up this guy's attic. I'm like, I just had four babies. That one was just fun because I literally literally in that spot i literally went bananas and i destroyed an entire attic and we had this director this this guy from france his name is roman gavris and he's one of the most badass directors i've ever worked with in my life um

if you guys get a chance you got to watch this video he did on it's on youtube it's called gosh by jamie xx and this guy is like one of the baddest directors in the world so that that If you guys get a chance, you got to watch this video he did on, it's on YouTube. It's called Gosh by JamieXX. And this guy is like one of the baddest directors in the world. So that commercial was great. I like the Blind Spot commercial. He did that one. The Blind Spot is my favorite. It's funny to hear how much goes into it.

Like heavy duty directors and like a lot of thought process. It's like a little mini movie, right? Yeah. No, I mean, totally. I mean, we have this, we have like the best stunt coordinator in the world, this guy, Sean Graham, who's Mark Wahlberg's stunt double for years, and he's a coordinator. Like, I mean, it's a high-end production. Like, we, like, they get the best of the best, and that's why, I think that's why the commercials

look as good as they do. I hope you get a piece of, like, Allstate action. I feel like people are like, your agent should fight for that. And I think of insurance, I'll just go with Allstate, whatever. People are always like, well, you must get free insurance. I'm like, no, I don't. What, do you get a discount? No, I don't.

It's funny. I bought my first car like a couple of years ago and Allstate called me. They're like, well, you realize you have to get Allstate. And I was like, all right, well, yeah, I'm going to shop around a little bit. Geico's got some good rates here. No, I got Allstate. Just a shout out to Kevin Schaefer, my Allstate agent. So we usually get, we have some people call up and they leave like voicemails for us and ask life advice and all sorts of questions.

You down, let it rip? I'm the wrong person to ask life advice. Well, we are, too. We're usually cautionary tales of what not to do. You're on your second life. No one else is on their second life. That's pretty true. Are these live?

No. Okay. Kevin, John, what's up, guys? It's your white brother in Christ, Q. Beep that part out. Anyways, quick question for you. So I'm going through a quarter-life crisis, if you will.

Hear me out. For as long as time can I remember, all I want to do is hook up with the MILF. I'm going through huge, huge, huge MILF phase right now. Okay, guys? Hear me out. This may take a minute.

Brandy Love, Lisa Ant, Eva Adams, guys? Hear me out. This may take a minute. Brandy Love, Lisa Ann, Eva Adams, don't get me started. I love milk. How fucked up is this guy? Coming up here in September is my 25th birthday. So I promised it to myself as a 12-year-old. Before I turned 25 years old, I would hook up

with a milk. So fast forward to today, Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, I would hook up with a milk. So fast forward to today, Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, I mean not Grindr, but everything else, I've been on there swiping right until my senior gets arthritis and I finally found one. I found it. You know, she

doesn't look that good, guys, I'm going to be honest. But she is willing to fornicate with me. She's going to bump belly. She's going to squirt me. She's going to bump belly. She's going to squirt spit. She's going to let me stick it where the sun don't shine. And so I'm just wondering, how do I get ready for this? And is it okay for me to mail it in for the next, I don't know,

20, 25 years after I accomplish this simple task? He's got it. All right. I mean, I'm sure this guy's not alone. People want to check that milk box. I mean, first of all, you got everything going for you because I'm assuming you're talking about your mom. So, I mean, it really shouldn't have to.

It should be okay. Just send photos. I didn't realize the milk phase was still a thing. I thought that I had a 10-year run after American Pie. And look, I'll still check the box here and there, but I didn't realize that was still

a thing that a 23-year-old was like, I gotta do it. I mean, should you just shoot for the rafters and go for a gilf? Or a G-squared ilf? Yeah, I mean, listen. That's it. Milf his old hat.

Take it to the next level, man. You want to impress Dean, you got to go 70 and up. Milf's been done, man. I don't know. What are you worried about, man? Just let it rip. Check the box. Especially if she's ugly,

like you said. But also, this whole swipe left, swipe right shit, why don't you grow a pair and go to a farmer's market and actually pick up someone online?

I mean, let's grow some balls here, guys. That's that New York shit, that online. I got confused when you said that. It's inline. Yeah, inline. Thanks to your guns,

online. That's what I thought he was going to ask. I thought he was going to ask I thought he was going to be like Where should I go to meet someone I don't know He's already met her Mission accomplished man

Yeah just go fucking I don't know If she's old and she's ugly It's not going to matter what your performance is Let's be honest She's just happy that she's got something going for her Yeah she's looking for a tilth Yeah she's going to call

She's going to be the next call She's not worried about fucking She's gonna be the next call I'd like to fuck her She's not She's not worried about Fucking like She wants to tell her friends That the old folks Somewhere where the fuck She lives

That she's like Yeah I had sex with This 24 year old the other day Apparently like I was his holy grail Twilf sounds Can you believe that Twilf sounds really fucking

It sounds grammy Fucking twilf Let another one rip Hey KFC Fights BC. So, I have a quick question. I was just home for the holidays and my dad's friend who's in his 50s

who has fucked some of my friends in their early 20s always texts me randomly when I'm home and says, like, so nice to see you. Let me know if you're going out. Like, all this stuff. and when I was home for Christmas he connected with me on LinkedIn and then LinkedIn messaged me asking me how I was when I was going back down to my house in a different state like do you want to go out and

all this stuff and it's just so creepy and he does this every time I come home and I'm 24 and he's like 52 or something and he is just kind of a scumbag do I just completely ignore this do I say something to him I feel like I can't even mention it to my dad because my dad would be so pissed but like this is weird like you don't dm people on LinkedIn unless like you're trying to get with them um let me know what I do besides ignoring it. Thanks. Okay, I'm going to tell you what to do. First of all, this guy's not going away. So you have to assess the friendship between your father and this guy. And you either have to have some guys in your life.

I mean, you must have some tough guy friends. There's four of us here right now that are willing to do you a favor. But you need to... Hey, guys, one of us. Dean does not speak for me. I don't give a fuck about this girl. But you need to have some of the guys in your life

have a little chat with this guy. Or you have to talk to your dad because this guy does not sound like he's going away. He sounds persistent. He sounds like a creep. And if you want to send us his information, I'll take care of it for you. There he is. Listen, if mayhem shows up at your door, you'd be like, all right, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm done. I didn you want to send us his information, I'll take care of it for you. There he is.

Listen, if mayhem shows up at your door, you'd be like, all right, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm done. I didn't mean to. Can you imagine that? I can't. I would be like, holy shit. Yeah. Dude, what kind of fucking, she said he's had sex with multiple of her friends.

Yeah, who are her friends? This shit. Yeah. Your friends are sluts. Your dad needs to find new friends and you need to find new friends. Yeah, for real. Both of you need to just like go witness protection, move to Omaha or some shit like that. We're starting a new life.

Her poor friends. We were surrounded by toxic people. Her poor friends who were like, oh my God, just Rebecca brought around this fucking 52-year-old again. I guess I gotta fuck him. All right, dude, we appreciate you coming through. So the new show is Wayne. It's on YouTube Originals, which is gaining some steam, man. YouTube Originals has a lot of clout.

Yeah, I mean, do we have a second? Yeah. No, no. This is the show Wayne, I'm going to tell you right now. It's another kind of like an Oz-like show in that it's one of YouTube. It's fucking gory. What was that? Gory.

It's gory. It's very violent. But it's one of YouTube. Like YouTube has the Karate Kid reboot, and then it had a couple other shows. And they're all good. But I think this is going to be YouTube Premium's first, like, bona fide super hit. Because this show is nasty. And it's done by the guys that wrote Deadpool.

Okay. And the guy, Sean Simmons, who's the creator. Oh, you know what? Now that you say that, like, some of the scenes, I can definitely see that. Exactly. And then Sean Simmons who's the creator, who grew up in Brockton, Mass, you know, which is a real tough place. I'm from Fall River, Mass.

That's our rival, yeah. Yeah, so it's like, you know, they don't fuck around up there. And this show has got a lot of heart. The kid Mark McKenna that plays Wayne is fantastic. He's from Sing Street, which is one of my favorite movies like the last five years. It's so fucking,

he's terrific. And then Sierra Bravo, who plays, uh, my daughter, uh, by the way, she has the greatest name in fucking Hollywood.

Yeah. Sierra Bravo. But, uh, she's, she's amazing. Um, and then,

you know, Abigail Spencer comes on the show. Like it's just, it's a, you know, it's, it, the show's got,

you know, it's got a lot of heart and I just implore people to check it out. I think it, does it come out the 17th or the 19th? I think it, oh yeah, the 19th. The 19th, yeah. It comes out the 19th on YouTube Premium. I think you have to do a little dance to get it on your thing,

but it's really worth it. It reminds me of, and this is extraordinarily high praise because it was maybe one of my favorite shows of last year, The End of the Fucking World. Did you see that on Netflix? No, I didn't, but I really worth it. It reminds me of, and this is extraordinarily high praise because it was maybe one of my favorite shows of last year, The End of the Fucking World. Did you see that on Netflix? No, I didn't, but I heard about it. It has that kind of sentiment to it.

Like I said last night, I was just going to watch the first screener. I was watching the Bruins and stuff like that, and then I ended up watching all five because it was really, really good. That fifth one's a beast. That fifth one's a monster. That's Del's episode. It's so good. Del's episode. It's, really good. That fifth one's a beast. That fifth one's a monster. That Dell's episode is so good.

Yeah, Dell's episode. So it's a really good show, and it's really different. I think it's going to ring a lot of bells. You know, it's definitely – there's a lot of violence in the show, but I think it kind of captures, I think, what's going on today with a lot of the youth in that these kids are just searching for answers. And so and the show is it's funny as shit. So you also mentioned you're going to be in a movie Lost Girls, which is about the one of the most grisly fucking horrible crimes around here in a long time.

And all the dead prostitutes are found out on Long Island. Yeah. Out of Gilgo Beach out by Jones Beach eight years ago. Yeah, it was, you know, it's still an open case. And there was a bestseller written by Robert Coker called Lost Girls. And so then this director, Liz Garbus, came in, and she cast Gabriel Byrne and Amy Ryan, and I play Gabriel's partner. And, you know, it's a really heart-wrenching movie about a mother searching for her daughter who's one of the lost girls. And it's going to come out on Netflix in the fall.

So we just finished wrapping that up. But it's funny when you talk about it, everyone in New York City knows about that case, I think it struck close to a lot of people. Consume the papers. Consume every single day. Yeah. And the guy is still out there and, you know,

we're really hoping that this movie does something to maybe, you know, to dredge him out. So, we're coming for you.

Man's coming, baby. We're gonna get you. With that 50-year-old, 52-year-old tube at a watch house. Maybe it's the same guy. Maybe we solved the case. All right, man. Thank you. We appreciate it.

Absolutely. Thanks, guys.