KFC Radio - Did Gun Girl Poop Her Pants, Young Pageviews, and the Blippi/Steezy Grossman Scandal

Episode Date: February 19, 2019

Will Gun Girl now forever be known as Poop Girl? Will Young Pageviews ever launuch Barstool Outdoors? Did Blippi poop on another human being? The answer to all these and more. Voicemails include: percentage of people masturbating, two shows on a hard drive, washing your balls, and High School Reunion Marathon.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Today's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by vodka. You are gassed up. I love it. I'm fired up, man. I got myself embroiled in an all-time internet beef. I'm ready to rock. Brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka. Not just any vodka, New Amsterdam Vodka. Shout out to the Navis. The Navi heads out there.

New Amsterdam Vodka. You can drink it straight. You can drink it on the rocks. You can drink it with a mixer. You can just squeeze a little lime up in that bitch. Very smooth. I'll be honest. I'm going to keep it very real.

Much smoother than I thought. John's stuck inside his shirt right now. I didn't know what level of vodka we were talking about when New Amsterdam jumped on board. And I wasn't sure how smooth it was going to be. I mean, I've seen you gas it. Yeah. Yep. So, yeah, there's all the proof you need.

New Amsterdam vodka is the official vodka of Barstool and Chicklets and the NHL and anybody who likes to just drink a little bit of vodka, man. So check it out. New Amsterdam Vodka. Keeps the radio today. Well, I did it. I'm so mad, John. I'm so mad, John. What?

This is all your fault. What? Everything is your fault. I got a text at, I don't know, I was on radio, and I just got a text from John. Let me just read it verbatim because I do think the wording matters. And it's just so fucking can't believe you pissed off gun girl. He says, look, man, I've had your back always.

I always have your back through thick and thin. I don't know. You're not going to toe to toe with gun girl? I don't know if I want smoke with gun girl. You, it is your fault because you were not here. Where were you? This morning?

Yes. I just didn't feel like I'm going to work. I know. I know you didn't. We were supposed to record at 11. You just didn't come. Oh, I know we were supposed to record at 11. We always record at 11. I thought we always recorded at 3. Well-oiled operation. You, if you were there... Do we record at 11? We never recorded at 11 i thought we always recorded three well-oiled operation you if i if you were there do we do record at 11 yeah we've like never recorded 11 well we always try to get it in

around 11 oh i didn't know i'll start trying to come to that if you were around you would have been like man man don't don't do that like you don't want that on your plate and you weren't oh no i would encourage you you would have all right well then good now i would have i would have backed out i wouldn't have had your back, but I would have encouraged you to do it. The best kind of friend. Yeah, yeah, do it, dude. I'm out of here. I mean, she's like, I mean, she's a maniac. I don't want to smoke with her.

Yeah, but she's, okay. Gun Girl, this has been a long time coming for me. I fucking hate Gun Girl. And you want to know why I think people hate her? I think it's because she's not attractive. I was just going to say it. I didn't want to be mean. Because she's ugly? Yeah.

Because her legs look like boiled hot dogs? Even Tommy Lahren, people are funny. I think people... I mean, she's obviously... Tommy's hot, so that's it. That's all that matters. Yeah. People make fun of her, but I don't think people hate her. Well, here's the thing. I think Tommy Lahren is a fucking internet queen right now.

I think she knows exactly what she's doing. Of course she does. Like, she's smart. Gun Girl's not. Gun Girl's dumb. Gun Girl is riding the wave of, you know, 2A people. 2A? Yeah.

Right? That's what they call it. If you're one of those people, that's what you call it. 2A. So she... I actually feel bad for Gun Girl. I think that somebody's in her ear. I think that's what you call it. 2A. So she, I actually feel bad for a gun girl. I think that somebody's in her ear. I think that's.

It's her husband. Right, her manager or whatever. Imagine being a fucking manager of a girl who sends a stupid tweet every now and then. And then marrying her. They're engaged. Oh, I know they're engaged. She let you see that. The countless posts about it.

I think that that person. I have a record for most quote-tweeted tweets. I bet she's up there. You mean people are quote-tweeting hers? Per capita, yeah. People don't retweet it. Right. But they quote-tweet it and say, like, you're a dumb bitch.

Even her followers have to be, like, eight followers. She doesn't even have that many. I know, but, you know, yes, to, but like to have 160,000 followers in general is more than, you know, you're in like the 1%. Right. But I think that like 150 of them are people who are like, you're a dumb bitch. You know why? Honestly, I took every single call today.

Everybody. I'm from Louisiana. I love my guns. I hate her. Like they all agreed. Very well spoken people. Like, uh, like I'm conservative and I believe in my Amendment rights, and I do not want her representing our cause. We ran the gamut.

Smart people. Yes. Smart people. You don't want that girl on your side. She is Lena Dunham of the other side. That sort of toxic, idiotic nonsense where, I mean, that girl, and this is the reason I feel bad for her, because whether it's the boyfriend or a family member or just the mob or the Republicans in general, that girl feels that she has to do this. That girl has been manipulated or exploited or pressured into thinking that she has. No girl wants to be gun girl.

It's just not a fucking thing. It's not a thing When you're a little girl growing up You don't be like I want to walk around campus With a fucking assault rifle on my back That was her first thing right That went viral and then she became gun girl I mean if your nickname is gun girl Not a place to be walking around with a gun If I had to say

No It's like famous for Not great I don't know if massacre would be the right word It's like, you know, famous for. Not great. I don't know if massacre would be the right word, but. It's up there. It's, yeah. It's not good. It's not a spot to be walking around with.

You know what a dumb gun girl is? KB tweeted at her, or tweeted in general, like, this is the most famous person in all of Ohio. And she wrote back, like, wow, what an honor. Like, even in a state with LeBron James, I'm still the most famous. No, you dumb idiot. So I have wanted to do this for a long time. Oh my God.

I have wanted to do this for so long. That lack of self-awareness is... That's the thing. It's disturbing. It really is. I'm envious. I'm jealous. I don't know that I am.

In theory, I am. But to actually be the dummy who everyone's pointing and laughing at. I always say that I'm jealous. I don't know that I am. In theory, I am. But to actually be the dummy who everyone's pointing and laughing at. I always say that I'm the worst level of intelligence where I'm smart enough to know how much you suck. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's the way to have it. You know what? It all comes with the caveat of how much money you make. If she was rich, who cares?

But she can't, right? Please tell me. There's absolutely no way. If she's making money, I believe she works. She probably makes a couple of bucks. I believe she works for Infowars. Oh, she does? I think so.

If you work for Alex Jones in Infowars, you're a fucking joke. Come on. You can't be taken seriously. I didn't know she works for them. You see he's getting deposed, by the way? Oh, boy. To the Sandy Hook people? Oh, fuck yeah. That's the trashosed, by the way. Oh, boy. To the Sandy Hook people. Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah. That's the trashiest shit in the world. That's actually where the gun shit really drives me crazy, because just Sandy Hook, you know, the old cliche is like, well, if we didn't change after Sandy Hook, we're never going to change. But it's so fucking true. And that's what I hate the most about Gun Girl. And Sandy Hook.

By the way, did you know there was like a mass shooting on Friday? No. And that's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. I found out about it yesterday. Right. Like five people and five police officers. Yeah. I found out about it yesterday. Right. Like five people

and five police officers got shot. Dead? Five people got killed. Five police officers got shot. Where? That's terrible. I don't know this. Aurora, Illinois.

Oh, yeah. Well, I saw that. I saw Aurora and that was this movie theater. And I thought it was like an anniversary or just something came up. I mean, there's so many goddamn massacres

that were repeating names. Fuck. And that's so many goddamn massacres that we're repeating names. Fuck. And that's what drives me crazy. Dude who's getting fired just brought a gun and just started shooting everybody. Dicks. That, I don't like to get, the reason I never went after Gun Girl

is because I don't want to get involved in gun politics and gun control. I got my thoughts. I think everybody kind of knows where I fall, but like everything else, I'm a rational person where I'm somewhere in the middle. But what i don't like is when something happens and that's like let me go make a video about how i want my guns right it's like yo you like these because

you think you're fucking cool you you want to be gun girl you think it's funny and unique and weird and edgy that i'm a girl with a gun and i want to make my videos and get my clicks and get my views and get my downloads and try to make money and i want to be famous and i'm going to choose this time where people are like mourning the death of their kids to do it. Fuck that. That's where I actually think you're being a bad person. You want to, you have your political beliefs and you want to try to get big on the internet? Fine.

You have like no tact and no fucking class if you do it in that manner. Now, I don't, I still don't want to get involved. No class if you poop your pants. And that's where, my hands were tied, okay? I don't want to go, by No class if you poop your pants. And that's where my hands were tied. Okay. I don't want to go.

By the way, these people who are like, oh, like you're cyber bullying a girl. What? I'm like, well, first of all. Wait, who? Yeah. I mean, a person or multiple people. I would say like four. Like four tweets.

Four is not enough. That's not enough. How many can I say people are saying? Seven? I think you get a double digits. That's hard. Yeah. Nothing happens double digits.

That's what I mean. Except for people saying. This is the point. No one cares about anything. Except for people saying, you pooped your pants. Because a lot of people are saying that. You pooped your pants. That's the way.

Pants. I mean, you can't cyber bully another internet personality. That's just called work. You're in the mud. If I pick out, I actually paused, and I think she might still be fair game. I hate fitness couple on TikTok. You know them? I don't know them, no.

There's this girl and this guy. They're a couple, and they're jacked. They're fucking the most inshapy. Oh, is it the guy, I think we tweeted it recently. The guy doing pull-ups and kissing her asshole? Yeah. I don't know about that one, but it probably is. Sounds like them. He's just sitting on top of whatever it is you do pull-ups.

Yeah, and he's just kissing her. Did you see the one on Valentine's Day where the girl, she throws the chocolates away and starts eating kale, and she gets rid of the wine, and she starts drinking water. I very much hate these people. I hate them. But like, and they're big on the internet now. So I think they're in the arena too. They're fair game.

But I was about to like throw some fucking fire at this girl who's just working out and putting it on the internet. You know what I mean? I was about to be like, fuck this chick. And I was like, no, no, no. That actually probably would be like cyberbullying. Gun girl, poopy pants, suck my dick. Gun girl is absolutely not

able to be cyberbullied. No. Absolutely not. And also, like, oh, this man is picking on this girl. Fuck that noise, too. It's the internet, man. The internet knows no genders. Who says it? Well, again, four people. Four people. Okay. I almost got worked up. See? It's good to be reminded how few people are like, who the fuck is

saying this? I will say this, though. I can't keep up. There are a lot of mentions right now. I'll give her that. I'll give that girl that. There's a legion, whether they're for you or against you. Shit goes down when you jump in the gun girl world. There are just certain things. Where is she alleged to have pooped her pants?

At a frat party at Kent State. There are just certain things, John, where as a blogger, as a veteran of this game, my hands are tied. When somebody, when the rumor, when the story, when it gets out there, and you got people running up on you, doing fake, like,

hey, I want to interview you. Is it true you pooped your pants? When you got that guy going, you pooped your pants! You pooped your pants! I have to blog that. I'm sorry. That's the most clear-cut thing I've ever heard. Ever.

Especially with Gun Girl. Yeah. You pooped your pants, man. If it happened to me, I would expect it to be written. So, like, that's the... You're in the mud, you're going to get poopy. Who knows if this is true. I'm sure,

I'm sure it's probably pretty true, but like it doesn't matter. It doesn't, that's the point. It's probably true. It's probably not true, but we know now

that it rubs you, it pushes your buttons, you freak out about it, you've handled it poorly and so now instead of gun girl, you're poop girl. How would you handle it?

If there was a rumor that wasn't true. Let's rumor that wasn't true. Let's say it wasn't true. Poop. Pants. Yes. Okay. Very different for guys and girls.

True. I think I could literally be like, yep, gambled on a fart. I mean, Dan did it. Oh. Dan does it all the time. Dan says he does what, two a year? Yeah, at least. I think if you're admitting to two, you're at least doing four.

And as you get older, it probably increases to five. A guy, you can say that. A girl can't be like, you're at least doing four. And as you get older, it probably increases to five. A guy, you can say that. A girl can't be like, yeah, shit my pants. But a girl, she should have made a joke about this. Like if there's a movie reference or something like that. You respond with a funny gif or some shit like that. But this has been going on a while. This rumor has been out there for like a year.

And she has apparently always kind of been like, no, no, no. And then people have been like, it wasn't her. It was a friend. It's like, all right, well, somebody shit their pants. How do you confuse who shits their pants? What's that? How do you confuse? That seems like one thing where the name sticks.

Well, if someone was just like, oh, yeah, you see that girl with the big hair at the party who shit herself? And then there was another girl who, you know what I mean? I guess. But I think it's tough for a girl to be like yep poop my pants you pooped your pants yeah there really is no win there cause I would

I would dislike a girl who embraced it yeah but you know I'm not saying you have to be like yep took a number 2 in my fucking underwear but I think if you were just like I mean I don't know I would have to think about it but i think there's a way to make a reference or a joke or a punch line or a like whatever even what she did to me she was like well at least i

didn't cheat on my wife sort of thing and it's like by the way i think more people cheat on their wives and poop their pants so it is honestly this guy a the number like it doesn't like she's like tried to shame you with that it's like i'm in the majority here yeah can i tell you maybe the worst call i've ever gotten on radio dude called up and said that and he was like uh last time i checked there's a website called ashley madison which is designed for people to cheat on their wives because like that's what so many people like to do. There are no websites about shitting your pants. I was like, well, first of all, that's probably not true. Second of all, let's leave the defending of this situation to me.

I do not need you and that argument speaking for me, pal. That was terrible. I think he made some solid points. But, I mean, you know, would you rather be known as the infidelity guy or the poop pants girl? I'm telling you at best, that's a going to us. It's funny because I'm just so truly, genuinely unfazed at this point that it's like I'm sure that she thinks she's like getting me. And it just doesn't even like my.

What she's doing is she's stabbing a person who's been stabbed a hundred times. You're just stabbing a corpse. Everything you said, like, I've heard from her mouth. I've heard from my family members. I've heard from people who mean something to me. They've said those things. I'm already over it. Gun Girl and the hot dog legs.

Yeah, go ahead. Stab the corpse, man. It's like, yeah, it'll make the sound but it doesn't feel anything. I don't feel it, man. It's like, yeah, it'll make the sound. Right. But it doesn't feel anything. I don't feel it. I don't feel it, man. You're shooting blanks. So, I mean, facts are facts. Gun Girl pooped herself.

And I think two things. I think that's the end for Gun Girl because I think eventually you just stop going out and doing interviews because everyone's going to be like, you pooped yourself. What if she gets more famous for this, which I think will happen? Gun Girl, people know, it's a small world. Twitter. It really is. We think of it as all encompassing, but the Twitter world

is very small. People don't recognize people who are Twitter famous. People don't recognize people who are Instagram, YouTube famous. No one recognizes those people. Right. What if she becomes famous for the poop girl? And people are just like, oh yeah, she likes guns too or something,

but she shits her pants, that sort of thing. That would be a cruel twist of fate. It would be. If I contributed, no. Oh, I'd love that. No.

I don't want her any bigger. Well, she doesn't want to be famous for pooping her pants. Oh, I see what you mean. I thought you meant like famous, like she capitalizes on this. No, no, no. Like everybody knows her

Oh yeah Oh that's the girl who pooped her pants I mean I think that's what's gonna happen I think she took a picture with the gun once But also she shit her pants I think that's what's gonna happen I mean you can't ever do one of your stupid videos again Without someone just being like

People just walk up to you Like you go up And you try and surprise someone With like Well what do you think about Whatever the fuck they do And like Oh I know

You're the girl who pooped her pants You pooped your pants Or like yeah what do you think about whatever the fuck they do and oh i know you like you pooped your pants we're like yeah i i agree to talk about like the second amendment and then as soon as you start you pooped your pants i just i can't imagine it ever going any other way for us and then i support the right to carry guns as much as i support the right to poop pants that's what i said i was like you're gonna have to change your whole brand like you know how do you how do you stop a bad guy who poops his pants a good guy you know should we ban all poop pants and

I the other thing that I think could just potentially happen is I think that she's the most disliked person that she might she might save the world that the only thing that in this political world where everyone is polarized the only thing we in this political world where everyone is polarized,

the only thing we can all agree on is how much gun girl sucks. Oh yeah. I mean, I had this, Josh, she was going to like actually say, Oh, with her guns.

And I was, I was like, I wouldn't care. If she cured cancer, I'd say no thanks. John, somebody said, somebody said to me,

yeah, we'll keep the cancer. I'm like, don't worry. John, somebody said to me, uh, you really want to make fun of a girl

who openly carries like this? And I said, I hope that she murders me. Oh, she's too much of a pussy to murder. I know she is, but I hope... I don't know how I wrote myself into that one. If she kills me, and then gets arrested for it, and goes down,

I would do that. Yeah, no. If guns get banned, I would sign up. Yeah. No. I would also. If guns get banned, I would sign up for that as well. That's what I said to her. Gun girl, I'm talking to you directly right now. You are way too much of a pussy to kill Kevin. I guarantee you won't do it.

Do it. Do it. I guarantee. Shoot me. Pussy. Pussy. You will not kill Kevin. Pussy.

You wouldn't even kill Kevin if it saved guns. Wow. If the gun debate stopped over killing Kevin Clancy, you still wouldn't even kill Kevin if it saved guns. Wow. If the gun debate stopped over killing Kevin Clancy you still wouldn't do it because you're too much of a pussy. You think that if you put me in a room with a gun to my head and you said to Caitlyn Hot Dog Legs Poop Pants Bennett pull the trigger

and you can keep all your guns. I think she's a sissy. You know how much she does it. She's all for show. I always think when shit actually goes down and you're not just shooting a fucking watermelon She's all for show You think that I always think like You know when shit Actually goes down And you're not just like Shooting a fucking watermelon Out in your backyard You think that girl Can like handle herself

I'm sure she can handle it I'm sure she's accurate I don't know Yeah but like again I'm just saying I don't think The heat of the moment You're running

You're moving You know like I don't think she'd kill you I'm gonna look directly At the camera Caitlin Bennett I dare I double dog dare you

To kill Kevin Clancy If I get murdered This is gonna stink do it I'm dead serious I'm not even worried about her that would be so great for the show I'm worried about some other

like second amendment freak that would be yeah that's another thing too who would do the ads though yeah there you go that's all I'm good for that's all I'm fucking good for to you John

you son of a bitch gone girl you pooped girl you pooped your pants. Let's talk. Oh, let's do a little adolescent to adolescent. Oh, wait. Hang on.

By the way, also pooped pants. Blippi. Oh, yeah. That's a nice segue. We'll just do that. Blippi. If you don't know Blippi, I'm about to learn you some shit about a man named Blippi right now. It's brought to you by Squarespace.

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It has full functionality, and the best part is it's one-stop shop to design it and get your domain and go live. So go to squarespace.com slash KFC. You get a free trial. And then when you're ready to launch, use the promo code KFC at checkout. You get 10% off your first purchase. I honestly think buyingforsurenot.com is probably the most important thing I've ever done in my life because it just legitimized it too.

I had like forsurenot.tumblr.com. Shout out to Tumblr. I would have never started this either. Tumblr made it so easy. It was just like click for a picture, click for text, boom, you have a website. I was pooping. I was reading Maxim. Then it said this is a new website to work on, and I did it.

Really? Yeah. That's the only – I mean it just happened to fit. I don't know what mine was. I don't know what I used. I don't think it was Tumblr or anything like that. I had the worst name ever. What? I had the worst name ever. I don't even what mine was. I don't know what I used. I don't think it was a Tumblr or anything like that. I had the worst name ever. What?

I had the worst name ever. I don't even think I knew this. What was it? Savvy Spittoon. It was the worst name ever. It's as bad as names get. I was going to just let this slide because I was feeling like a bad friend. Because I was like, I think I should know this. Did you did you know this okay i don't think anyone knew you had a

website it wasn't like a super like i i probably only did it for a couple months but like i don't know you had that yeah uh yeah i think i said to dave wow i thought i thought that you just started with barstool you had a website i had like like me and like five friends but none of my friends ever wrote on that was That was just me. Jay Hay and Wheezy were supposed to work with me on For Sure Not, and they just never did anything. I did not know this, and I definitely did not know the name Savvy Spittoon. I think I like Googled it recently. I don't even think it's like I don't think it's still up.

Did you buy the URL or did you just do like dot WordPress? No, it was WordPress. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I am just forward that's gotta be somewhere find that I forget what my name was too

oh shit have you kept this a secret I haven't kept it a secret I just haven't talked about it I haven't been actively hiding it fuck what was my name it was some stupid name. Savvy? What does that mean?

Was Savvy? I mean, I know what the word Savvy means, but Savvy Spittoon, is that like a phrase or a saying or just like? Yeah, just a thing. I mean, I could see it actually working, to be honest. I could see that. Stupid. And you were just blogging.

You were just writing blogs? Yeah. Like humor blogs and shit? Mm-hmm. Huh. Never knew. How about that? It wasn't like a, was yeah it definitely wasn't like a secret thing it was just like i don't it was it wasn't something can you please remember your name i know you know it it would not it was like i i think it was taz but that

doesn't make any sense oh i think it was taz uh terry o'reilly i think it was Taz Terry O'Reilly. I think it was for Terry O'Reilly. What is that? Bruins player. Taz is his nickname? Yeah. And you just were like, I'll be Taz too. I think it was.

There was someone on the site named Taz. Uh-huh. I think it was me. It's funny that you don't remember because like even on the Barstool documentary, Dave, it was something like Blue Velvet or something like that was a name that was published. And he was like, did I? Blue Velvet? Something like that.

And then there was Devilfish Dave was one, and that shit was so old he didn't even remember doing it. So it's Taz for your boy fights. I think that was me. I'm pretty sure. I'm not positive. But there was definitely someone on the site named Taz. I think it was me. Man, the pioneers are blogging all of us.

It's such a good story. And then did you watch the episode of Barstool Gold with Renee? It is. Renee. I haven't seen any of the documents. What a woman. I don't, I mean, like, you know, you're talking about Dave, right? Just gushing over him, just glowingly.

It's like, oh, word? Anyway, squarespace.com slash KFC. What an ad read. Yeah, right? You got it all in there. You got it all in there. Squarespace, you are welcome. Yep, but for real, that was when I was like,

all right, for sure not going to be a thing because now it's its own.com, so get yourself your domain. Blippi, as we talk about shit, Blippi is a children's star child's entertainment star i don't know what the fuck you call it he's on youtube making children's videos massive i think he has like millions of subscribers he gets like tens of millions i think he has a subscribe to answer the internet yep answer the internet we're gonna be like blippy numbers bro um he gets like

i think he probably has like billions of views when you add it all up and kids love it shea watches this motherfucker like it's crack so many what is it so many things to find out it'll make you shout what is that fucking i can't believe i can't remember now because it's on all the time blimpy it's fucking creepo it It's just, at the end it always goes, Blippi! And I just hear it all the fucking time. But I love it. I mean, I'll take it. So.

Is this it? I don't know if this is it. It's kind of catchy. That's the thing. All of these things are catchy. They're all designed to, like, poison your brain. So Blippi is, like, crack to these kids. I mean, I throw it on the iPad with Shay, and he's like.

Do you ever, like, get, like, worried about that? Yes, that's where we're at now. That's what's going on here. So, I mean. I read an article, like, a while ago. I think we might have talked about it briefly. But it was basically just like about – I think the warning on it was if you're a parent, do not – Yeah, do not let your kids see this.

Be careful what you're about to read because it's going to disturb you. Yeah. And it was like about how the algorithm – how people like – if you just like give your kid an iPad and just let them watch YouTube, the algorithm will fuck with it and then they'll start watching stuff that's like mind bending i'm sure i guarantee it was like a peppa pig like like people people like really work hard to get into the peppa pig algorithm with like fucked up stuff i could definitely see that because i'm sure she's like already in a satanic cult i guarantee that she's halfway to al-qaeda like i i think that eventually one day someone's going to flip a switch and it's going to activate all their brains and all of a sudden all the youth of america youth of the world is gonna yeah yeah yeah and that's the real deal i mean sometimes

i'll start on like a disney video and then it just like play next play next play next and then all of a sudden it's not even in english and there's like isis words all over the screen like just turn that off but i mean it's just it could just be like arabic youtube yeah that's i mean i'm being very you know racist or whatever i'm like ah there's that font means terrorism those words it is the way they but that's also mind control in and of itself. Yeah. That's how we think. Yeah, right. It is like you see the ISIS flag. So she watches Blippi and she watches these Asians do this. Yalokala, Yalokala, where are you? So now she has a Bronx Irish Asian accent. She's fucked.

But, I mean, listen. You got two kids. I'm a single dad now. I'm cooking Keegan some food while this is happening, that's happening. I gotta change the diaper while I gotta clean up. And Shay's crying. And I was like, here, just fucking here's the iPad. Just watch.

Blippi. Works like a charm. Turns out that Blippi used to go by the name of Steezy Grossman. Steezy Grossman. Steezy Grossman. And he once made a viral video of him shitting into his friend's ass. He doesn't really... I've seen the video. Yeah, and I think you were

the only one. Yeah, I think people are trying to find it. It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. I saw it in the Harlem Shake trend. I haven't seen it recently. I saw it back then. He doesn't shit into his ass. He shits on his friend.

But is it like, I think you can watch reaction videos. I've seen Harlem Shake poop reactions. Okay. That's probably that. It's funny. I don't like poop jokes. That's good. That is a funny video.

So paint the picture for me. It's, he is standing on. He is standing on a toilet. Standing on a toilet. He's standing on a toilet like this. Okay. And I think he's wearing a helmet or something like that. Okay. And then his friend is in the corner.

You got to buy gold, people. You get back on top. You get back on the chair and tell me what to do. His friend is in the corner like this. I think he's like this. So I'm like up on here. And I'm like shitting onto you like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He'd be like this. Is it like projectile? Oh, buddy. It is very projectile. I was gonna say, that seems like it would be difficult. He, buddy. It is very projectile. That seems like it would be difficult. Pean poops. It's very funny. But is it like, is it actually, you know, like two girls, one cup is fake, meaning that it's not shit coming out of those girls.

Oh, no, it's just shit coming out of the butt. So he just shit on his friend's butt? Shit. I haven't seen it since the Harlem Shake trend, and it wasn't anything. I didn't know it was going to be huge news in four years or however long ago it was. But it was poop. It was real. It looks like this guy does Realmed Reacts, and he says he's reacting to Blippi

Harlem Poop. Yeah. But it was this is yesterday. So like the video Oh, so it's out there, huh? I'm sure you could find it somewhere. I'm just surprised I haven't seen it yet. I don't know. I mean, people have pretty much looked for this, I think. I'm saying I thought it was gone because I thought I would have seen it

by now. Right. Like one of these websites would have embedded it or somebody would have seen it by now Like one of these websites would have embedded it Or somebody would have tweeted it Well so then that begs the question Of like what do you do When you're oh you know what's fucked up by the way When I wrote this blog I was like listen We all knew Blippi something's wrong with Blippi

Alright you do that children shit Isn't that the worst Like I think about that all the time How like Entertaining or educating Or doing anything with children Is such a thankless job Do you know how bad it is?

Have you seen it? Oh shit Harlem shake poop live reaction He's sitting on the toilet Bike helmet on Just squatting over Oh shit That's more poop than I remember that oh my god it's like all

over his head and stuff too and he's just laughing he's just laughing at it i don't think that's like actual shit what do you mean i friends deal when i saw like who is that guy forget about blippy put that guy in jail and he's just sitting there still tapping his foot to the beat covered in what looks like chocolate ice cream shit that is wildly disgusting to be that guy yeah i mean all things considered blippy's blippy's the the person you'll want to be in yeah he's coming out on top literally he's the smart intelligent right in this video he was like yeah let's go viral i shit on you okay sure uh but what i say is like it is jobs it is so thankless because i like you just expect like this didn't surprise anybody you just expect people who like deal with kids to be fucking

weirdos well and there are a few who just genuinely want to mold the minds of the future but there's also a few bad apples oh there are many bad apples but like the ones if that was like your passion i'd find a new one because people are just gonna think you're a sicko anyway if you're a dude it's like you can't be a grown-ass man working with children right and especially when you're like a corny like you know you put on an outfit and talking a voice you just seem like you're trying to lure them in to like rape them like blues clothes didn't that dude said no that's what i was gonna get to he's totally normal this is my point i got screwed this is my point exactly so i said that in my, listen, Pee Wee Herman is jerking off in a fucking movie theater.

Blue's Clues. I think that guy was like a full-blown pedophile or something. Blue's Clues guy, you can't quote me on this either, but my dude at Sirius during CCK in my ear, he's a very smart guy. So I'm trusting him. I can tell by when he talks to me in my ear. It's like the voice of God. He told me Steve from Blue's Clues was losing his hair hair wanted to shave his head because he looked stupid as he was going bald they wouldn't let him and he had like he was like all right you know it's time to move on like

i'm you're telling me how i can cut my hair i want to cut my hair and so he just like was like it's time for me to move on with my career and then he shaved his head the next day and everyone thought it was almost like the jim carrey thing like i think that's why they wrote that in like they thought he was going crazy and then there was this rumor that he was like into kids and shit he was like i think he just makes music now and he has like a shaved head imagine that imagine this is like poor guy the whole time i've been sitting here thinking he's a he's a fucking pedophile pedophile weirdo whatever he did i don't know i just i just knew he was a weirdo simply because he worked with kids. Or worked for kids.

He just didn't want to have bald spots. He just wanted to fucking shave his head. Yeah. Yeah. That's him with a shaved head. Make sure I'm right because if he is fucking creepy, I don't want to give him too much credit. But could you imagine that if it was just like, well, come on, guys.

Look at this receding hairline. It's got to look a little silly. I'm just going to shave my head. I mean, it makes sense, though. I do. I do. I stand with the producers on that you can't you can't just say your head yeah yeah you're too like intimidating or whatever right right uh like i've been every villain ever but that's fine then it should be like all right let's move on but then i don't know if they like

slandered him or threw some shade or how that all develops but yeah right you're a problem you're on the way out the door. We'll talk that shit. But yeah, you work with kids. You Ben Affleck, you wait. You work with kids, you pedophile. Right. Brutal. And I feel awful for the people who are just genuinely,

no, I just want to teach this kid how to do cursive. Yeah, whatever, sicko. Even more than that, even more than that, Blippi's just like, I make videos on the internet and I try to go viral. And then I found out that if I do this for the kids, I make a shit ton of money and I get a billion views.

But yes, one time I shit on my friend. I don't know. I feel like if you shit on a friend and that comes back to bite you, you have to be like, well, you throw your hands up. I guess I deserve anything that comes my way from pooping on a friend you you think he's relieved about this probably he's like been thinking about i mean he his his statement was very like yes one time i made a poop video for views that's how you gotta be that's what caitlin bennett should have done how much you think blimpy's worth like him or like i mean the operation these are also you know celebrity

net worth.com It's not necessarily. I don't just don't just tell me. By the way, Google really fucked that website. What do you mean? Google, it was like I actually I've noticed recently a trend where you have to click through now. But it used to be Google would just scrape it right up. Yeah. Yeah.

And like I've read an article about how the celebrity net worth guys like, yeah, they fucking killed my website. They took my livelihood away because it was people didn't have to click on the site. People didn't have to buy ads. It was just – you Googled net worth. It was right there. But I think now you have to click through. But also fuck the celebrity net worth guys because I think they just make it up. They do.

Well, $20 million. That's what they're making up. I guess he can be. I think about that stuff where it's like oh this kid makes you know six grand a day opening toys or whatever it is yeah so like i mean blippy i've never heard of blippy i mean i mean that's you know that's like al-qaeda gives them 20 million dollars so they could put their subliminal advertising in there that's like putin is giving the money fucking communist china is like yeah all right we'll give this fucking guy money. I mean, I'll tell you this right now.

If you think I'm like stopping Blippi in my house or something, there's no reason to. I would let Shay watch the original video if it kept her fucking quiet. Whatever, girl. Whatever. I don't think it means he's a bad person. No, no. But you know how people get.

Like, yeah, that's, you know, it is. You can be a weirdo and a good person. Honestly, if you said to me, hey, can this guy babysit? He's probably a bad person, actually. Most people are. I don't think he's a bad person because of this. I think he's a bad person because he's a person.

He's a human. If you said to me, hey, this guy's going to watch Shay one time and he shit all over his friend, I would give some pause. Can she watch a YouTube video from a very safe distance on the internet? Fuck yeah. But much like Gun Girl,

now Blippi, and we're out here, it's all part of the same hustle. It's all just everybody out here grinding, trying to get those views and those downloads, trying to make that money. If you've got to poop on someone,

if you've got to shoot someone, if you've got to make fun of pooping and shooting on people. Do it. Fucking do it, pussy. I honestly don't even think I'd feel bad if she does it. If she did it and said, I did this because John dared me, I don't know if I'd feel bad.

I think it'd be funny. Well, once you've dared someone, of course. I wouldn't blame her. Like, well, John dared you. What are you supposed to do, back down? It's like, the only reason I killed Kevin was because you dared me. I'd be like, all right, pretty funny. I mean, honestly, he'd be like, Caitlin, prove it. Like, you know, who better to murder than this guy?

Oh, by the way, I mean, you're in the presence of a progressive hero. Yeah? Yeah. Leftist. Leftist, liberal sports writer, progressive hero. I love when people start bringing out those words. Leftist. I can't believe that I'm now a liberal sports writer and a progressive hero.

What is wrong with being progressive? How did that become a negative? I love that that word is like, yeah, we want to progress as a human. Progressive. Yeah. Yeah? Well, you know what's got to gotta be weird Not to get all political But like

Over the long haul If you're a conservative You're losing Right? It's like All of these things Eventually you lose Like eventually

Like slavery is illegal And eventually Like you know Safe sex marriage And like all the things That you're conservative about Like they're legalized Yeah we will legalize

Gay marriage We will legalize weed Gambling, all this shit, like abortion. It's like the stock market. There's ups and downs and shit. But over the course, we're all still going up here. I feel like you lose everything, right? I mean, that's actually, yeah. It's like you're kind of on the wrong side of history.

I mean, conserve means to hold on to what you have. Right. It's like, but you always end up losing it. But not my guns. Not here in America. Adolescent to adolescent real quick before we get into voicemails. Brought to you by Postmates. Oh, baby.

I'm going to pull up my Postmates text chain, which is probably the most active text chain in my life right now. I'm like, it's like, yo, who's that? What up, Shorty? Oh, no. It's just Postmates. Your Postmate Albert is arriving soon. Your Postmate Timothy is arriving soon.

Your Postmate Dexter. Your Postmate Shivdot. I like this one. Your Postmate Gus. Your Postmate Kyla. Please tell me this is over weeks. Your Postmate Josephine. Your postmate, Gus. Do you get it? Your postmate, Kyla. Please tell me this is over weeks. Your postmate, Josephine. Your postmate, Denise.

Your postmate, Nickinson. Your postmate, Carlos. Your postmate, Wilfred. And then finally on Friday, your postmate, Nyquilla. Nyquilla. Which I like to think is like a couple who was like, hey, we were like drinking Nyquil that night and she's Nyquilla. That started on. I had Shante, which I like. That's a classic.

Shante! How long do you think that was over? Oh, boy. Like what period of time? All the names I just read. Two weeks. A little bit more than that. I guess it's like four weeks. January 20th. It's like a little less than four weeks. Yeah. Three weeks. A little bit more than that. I guess it's like four weeks.

January 20th. It's like a little less than four weeks. Yeah. Three weeks. I mean, those are my people. Those are my guys. Postmates. Oh, and they saved me so bad the other day.

This is going to be the best ad Postmates has ever had. I had the kids the other night, and I just forgot to have all of the things to fucking keep kids alive. So it was time for me to pick up the kids and I show up and I had none of their snacks out of diapers and wipes. I was like, fuck. And then I had the kids and it was nighttime. So I'd had to like pack them all up. I was like texting my sister. I was like, what time do you get off work? Like, could you come by? And then I was like, Postmates. Two boxes of Lucky Charms.

Two boxes of donuts. Two boxes of cookies. Diapers and wipes. Wow. All from one store? Yep. It was like Walgreens. It's not just restaurants. It's like a pharmacy.

And Shay was like, I want Chucky Charms. I want Chucky Charms. I was like, they're coming. It's like a uh a pharmacy and shea was like i want chucky charms i want chucky charms i was like they're coming they're coming it's like my postman's gonna be right here in 41 minutes like let's just relax and uh and when it showed up it was like goddamn santa claus postmates like saved the day shea was like chucky i gave nyquilla the biggest tip ever so if you want food if you want drunk food food, you want sober food, you need supplies, you need whatever you can get at any hour from any of your favorite restaurants and suppliers, Postmates. That's how to do it. And right now you get $100 worth of free delivery within your first seven days,

which, you know, if you're like me, obviously seven days is going to be several trips. So when you download the app and when you check out, use the code KFC, and you'll get $100 of free delivery credit. Actually, I was talking to a girl, and I used this. I was like, yo, use my code for free delivery, girl. Come on. Yeah, man. And it works because who doesn't love free delivery?

Download Postmates. Save with the code KFC. Quick adolescent to adolescent I made a fucking over the toilet chest the other day John was like

what is that he was like what are you building I was like don't worry about it first of all to be fair it was not in the toilet it was not in the bathroom

yeah it was just in the middle of a room yeah so that just looks like a weird like three quarters of it is empty space and then like a little cabinet but John was like cause I've been my instagram was like i'm so sick of putting shit together because i've been putting together a lot of shit he's like what are you putting together now and i was like it's over the toilet chest or something he was like what is that

and i sent him a picture of it in the toilet in the bathroom and he was like that's that's a bit much it's so much and i was like well where do, where do you... And listen, I'm pretty... I think I'm still like... You walk into my spot, it feels still like Bachelor pad-esque. Like, it's not... So I think I'm already pretty bare bones. I didn't think that was a bit much. I mean, you have a medicine cabinet, right?

I have... Like, above the sink? Yeah, but it's like... It's very shallow. So it's like... But yes, I do have a medicine cabinet. What else do you have to put in there? Well, so I said to him, like... I was like, the blow dryer? He's like, oh, well, that do have a medicine cap. So I said to him,

I was like, the blow dryer? He's like, oh, that's just on the floor. I mean, yeah. The floor is the biggest shelf of all. If you're willing to just put it on the floor, who needs it? It's a perfect place for the floor to have a blow dryer.

It's a perfect place for the floor to have a blow dryer. There's like a. It's a perfect place for the floor to have a blow dryer. So you're going to put it on the floor at that spot. That's a blow dryer spot. I have the sink and then like there's like eight inches. Right. Next to the sink. Which is like this is your blow dryer slot.

Blow dryer down there. Well, I don't know. All the shit that Fleischman makes us fucking put in our hair, it doesn't fit in my medicine cabinet. I keep it. I have a top kit. I just leave the top kit on top of my toilet. I fit in my medicine cabinet. I keep it. I have a dop kit. I just leave the dop kit on top of my toilet. I'm always ready to go.

I'm always ready to go. I just move that to the sink when you have to use the toilet and then just put it back. No, no, no. It's like a tank. It's like a tank. It's like I'm always ready to go. I live my life like an asset. Like a bond asset. Yeah, just ready to

poof, gone. A born asset. The house is just dead. There's nothing in there. Let's go. Well, I felt like a big fat pussy because I made an

over the toilet cabinet. Fucking losers. Both of us. What do we want to do here? Voicemails or YP? Let's bring YP. Get that bitch boy YP in here. We were debating it.

I want to get YP in here. Grab you one as well. YP, his, you know, semi-annual appearance is brought to you by Felix Gray. I just don't believe this when they say that every American looks at bright screens for 11 hours a day. That number is not correct. Too low? Way, way too low. Way too low.

Not even kidding. Like 18. However many hours you're awake minus two two full hours not like you have two hours cumulative of like you were in a meeting and you were talking or something otherwise you're looking at a screen yeah it's like every every given moment like if you're not actively doing another thing yeah you're even less like even during the podcast i'm still looking and shit like that like you're always gonna peer down and then i mean commutes and when you're just sitting on your couch you're glued to it so your eyes are going to melt away we're gonna look back and they're gonna do studies and they'll be like well in like the modern computer era everybody went blind bird box up in this bitch unless you get yourself some felix gray glasses they're a lifesaver

because they filter out 90 of the high energy blue late blue light that emanates uh from the glare coming off the screen so you can save your eyes and they're very nice and stylish now i see dan wearing them all the time and i think that they're just like regular glasses like normal like for style glasses so felix gray does. They are performance and style mixed into one using the same materials that, uh, I think Versace uses it. And now they have prescription and non-prescription free shipping and free returns.

When you go to Felix gray glasses.com slash Kevin, how about that fucking government name up in here? Only my friends and family call me Kevin. So Felix gray can too. Cause we are family up in here. Felix gray gray with a Y with a, with a Y here. Only my friends and family call me Kevin, so Felix Gray can too, because we are family up in here. Felix Gray, Gray with a Y, with a Y, I would imagine, with an A, G-R-A-Y, FelixGrayGlasses.com

slash Kevin. YP, get your fat ass in here, boy. Put that fat booty in here. Miss new booty. YP joins the program. Set up. I mean, I literally just said to John, let's bully YP when he gets in here. Fuck yeah, program. It's like a setup. I mean, I literally just said to John, let's bully YP when he gets in here.

Fuck yeah, dude. That's fine. At least there's a reason. I'm like, alright, fine. Now I know why you're doing it. There's two reasons. Well, three. One is to bully you. Number two. Number two. How do you feel now that your boy Rudy has eclipsed you and is more popular

than you? You know what? The other day when you said that, knew that you were um fucking with me but i was i had my mind on so many things a lot of crazy shit happened and i was like i think i said something back like mean i just want to say i take that back i'm happy it's my coaching tree bro yeah are you happy that faderberg has got so many like followers like yeah that's your boy. You know what I mean? That's a good dude. Well, I mean, yeah, but like, Rudy's going to replace you, you know? He looks like you and he holds the camera and he's like, now he's got more blog content than you.

If he starts... Oh, so this is actually a good case for you. You don't know what happened to him? I did. So he was hooking up with this girl. You know, more than a hookup, less than a girlfriend, but as is every situation with a guy and a girl, she thought they were dating. He did not. When it came time to say, like, what are we? He was like, we're nothing.

Like, this is over. She goes on her Instagram DMs. I'm assuming she's an attractive girl, too. Oh, she's pretty fucking hot. Yeah, I feel like Rudy doesn't fucking mess with grenades. If we're going to be straight up with each other, she's a missile. I get the impression that rude boy does well for himself. She has no brain.

I mean, no offense. To me, it seemed like she had no brain. She was kind of like vapid, as they say. Yeah. Well, okay. She's a little bit crazy here. So what she ended up doing was posting his phone number in her IG DMs, which, as I'm saying, if she's good-looking, even if you're not good-looking,

girls' DMs in there are fucking dumpster fire. So Rudy got nothing but thirsty dudes texting him like days after day after day when he was like, I just want the horniness to stop. It's such a good line. And he came on radio with me and I think I told him to put him into a blog. I told him to run with this. Maybe, you know, maybe once a month, one of the girls here pulls that move and he has a DM Chronicles. I mean, I'm just saying the future is bright for the rude boy. It's bright.

And you know what? Yeah, national champion in hockey. That's why I'm saying he does pretty well for himself. Yeah, first of all, that's my guy. Shout out to my number one shooter that I put on. There's no question about it. But you know sometimes you put somebody on and then they kind of eclipse you. So here's the deal.

That was Monday night, I believe, because he posted the screenshots and that was funny. But I told him, we always have these talks about Barstool and about kind of like strategy and everything. And I said, dude, right now. Do you do a lot of strategizing? Huh? You do a lot of strategizing? Bro, when you're not KFC and Feidelberg, you got to do a lot of strategizing.

We're down here in the muck, bro. I'm not here with the fucking lobsters and like the the crabs and shit like trying to cut people's eyeballs out to eat tonight yeah i do a lot of strategizing bro you know what i do at night i sit up at night and i'm like how the fuck can i get to a higher level because i'm down here with the crabs bro that's the truth and rudy if i'm if I'm a lobster and a crab, Rudy's a fucking little plankton floating around. It doesn't even matter. So that's why I told him. And I said, bro, he gets frustrated with shit. And listen, Barstool's grown.

As it's grown, it's gotten harder to move up. That's like any organization, right? So because it's like you, Dan, Dave, you're not going anywhere. You're just getting even bigger. So it's like to beat those guys, you've got to be supercharged big. You know? So I told him, because he's been here for about since last June. And I was like, you know, by the time I had been here for that long,

it's like obviously the growth was higher because I was in a more like prominent, like on, you know, stool scenes, all the stuff. So I was like, all right. Yeah, well, I mean, you created stool scenes. So that's a piece of content. But I told him, I was like, dude, the screenshot's funny, but like no one so that's a piece of but i told him i was like dude the screenshot's funny but like no one knows that's you that like when you see funny tweets that's just a funny tweet it means nothing to you you don't remember who it is what the name is nothing yeah you think you're

cool because you get like impressions and you're like oh i'm getting likes and all this even the follows like you you could fire off one of those like 50 000 retweet tweets you get like 20 followers you know people don't feel the need. Like, I have to follow this person. It's just a funny tweet. Right. It's just, it belongs to the internet almost. So I said, dude, make a video. I told him we stood in my apartment building because we stood there and he's like, oh, there's a lot of

moving parts. I don't know when this is going to come out. There's a lot of stuff going on at Barstool right now. Alright, tomorrow. A lot of things. Are you recording like a month in advance? Bro, I don't know. Final Broke is a big episode. It it's a big episode you guys might want to promo it for like a couple months and sell it out i don't know i don't it's a huge deal anyways and i said dude there's a lot of moving things if you don't want to be a tumbleweed you got to have something you got to like help yourself out and that's just the facts you know that yeah and i said i literally looked

at him i was like bro i'm gonna hit you in the face if you don't start listening to me. I'm like, I tell you these things. I didn't say I was going to. I said, it makes me want to hit you in the face. Because we have these talks. I say, dude. He needs to talk about it. Not everybody puts it into action. When he did the Fyre Festival video.

That was funny. I said, dude, that's funny. When he did the Colorado Hockey fans and all. It's funny. Everyone likes his videos. He's a likable kid. And I was like, hey, idiot idiot like bro i put shit out people tell me i have perk eyes and i'm like a piece of shit like that likes my sister it's like you don't get any of that he does though he

does it's like dude hey idiot i literally told him i was like i want to fucking strike you in the face because you don't do what i tell you and when when you do, I said, go home right now. And I said, make a video that's telling these texts. And sure enough, he does it. I didn't even see it by the time you retweeted everything. I was, like, doing something else. I come back. I just text him.

I was like, you're such a moron. I was like, I'm so right. He's like, thank you, bro. Next day, we talked about it. What if you're on radio? Boom. It's beautiful. So listen, I hope my dude gets a million followers. hope he he wants to hook up with nikki heaton i hope

he marries nikki heaton i think that's entirely attainable nikki 100 percent is she from chicago is it i thought it was yeah nike whatever yeah it's definitely spelled weird i always say nikki i used to love her the girl that did the love so so thing and then became enormous and now she had songs with the Migos stuff. I said, dude, you can do that. I forgot Migos was in her video. Yeah, she became, like, she looks like a different person now. She does.

True. Like a different human. Whatever. She ain't for me, but if he wants to try to hook up with her. She's for me. The other person or this person? Both. Both.

Both work. I would say that it's like power rankings of celebrity crush attainability right now. There's him and Nike, me and Christina from The Bachelor, Grinnell and Ariana Grande. Rank them. I mean, Grinnell is the bottom. I love him to death, but Ariana Grande doesn't strike me as— I fucking love his—well, maybe Thursday we'll get him. He's not wrong.

He's not wrong. He's definitely wrong. He's so wrong. He could become friends with her potentially potentially but she's not going to want to hook up with him well that's what he says he says that she's going to fall he's wrong yeah okay but my he's not right but he's not that far off if that makes sense I think he could become friends he's so far off

he's friends with Biz Nasty and Wit they're pretty famous they're far off from him from her okay Biz could definitely hook up with Ariana Grande that's a fact All these friends with Biz Nasty and Wit. They're pretty famous. They're far off from him, from her. Okay. Oh, Biz could definitely hook up with Ariana Grande. That's a fact. Biz could hook up with Ariana Grande because of his game, not because of his name.

Not off his name, but I've seen him operate, and the guy is a wizard. There's no doubt. He's a problem. I have no doubt in my mind. But say they're in say they're in separate rooms and it's like hey Ariana Grande do you want to hug up with Paul Bissonette she's like no if she saw him maybe

I mean he's like giant alright alright not off me but yeah but Grinnell is not talking about off me and that Muppet Whitney is not fucking Ariana Grande

I love Wit maybe if she was like what a huge like 06 Penguins fan or whatever that was what's the year you guys won the cup it was great

no he didn't win the cup oh that's right he's basically unfortunately I didn't mean Wit if you No, he didn't win the cup. Oh, that's right. He's basically didn't win the cup, right? Unfortunate. I didn't mean, Witt, if you hear this, I didn't mean to put that part in. He said that. I wasn't talking about the cup, dude. You were quick to correct, though. No, he did not win the cup. I mean, that's one of those things that eats you alive.

I bet Witt's totally fine. Witt has $35 million. He's all Gucci. You know what you can't buy with $35 million? The Stanley Cup. The Cup. You can buy literally everything else. Like when he talks to other hockey players, maybe he's like, oh, fuck, this sucks. When he talks to leps like us, he's like, I don't think he's going to be. Yeah, true.

But I think he much rather would have stayed another season. How much money do you think Ryan Whitty would give up for a Cup? I would say $10 million. You are a sick fuck. I'll text him right now. You don't think he'd give up $10 million for a Stanley Cup? You're saying he would or wouldn't? He would not.

Maybe, can we call him real quick? You think he'll pick up? That's a fun... Is he the type who will just pick up in the middle of the day? Bro, I don't know. I mean, what else is he doing? He's probably just on NHL Network or something. That's what I'm saying, though.

Listen, dude. If I was a billionaire, what would I do? I'd just get on the blues like first-line center as soon as I could. And then, like, I hope... You'd ruin your favorite team? Oh, I'd... Fodderberg, I'd put up'd put up five ten points in the show that's a fact with o'reilly and teresango on the wing with like if i put up five i bet you i could get i bet you i could get three to five points for sure in the nhl in a full 82 game season playing first line minutes in first line power play with that fucking wagon you probably could toss it around bro if you're if

you got me on the half wall just give it up to like pareko and he bombs it up 82 straight guys yeah i'll give you that i mean anybody could though it's like it's like we're playing with like i could get five points playing with uh martian i don't know faderberg i saw that shootout challenge the target thing i wouldn't score any goals i get five points like here i don't want you got lucky on that shootout. Let's do it again. Let's put money on it and do it again. I mean, I'm not saying

you're bad, but like that was definitely your best performance. All right, let's do it 50 more times. Do you really think I'm asking you, you could replicate that.

I mean, would I get was it 12, 13 seconds every time? Yeah, there definitely be slower ones, but I don't think it'd be by that much. All right.

I don't think we give it $10 million. I don't think any of them can go with Ariana Grande. And I'm going to fuck that girlfriend bachelor. Anyway. Rude boy, the reason why you're here is because

I'm going to bully you. And I don't want rude boy to eclipse you. And I want to see Barcelona outdoors. Where the fuck is it? So I'm demanding that you put a date on it right now. Oh, man. Do it. The only way you're going to do it is to put it out. Go on the record. When's it? So I'm demanding that you put a date on it right now. Oh, man. Do it. The only way you're going to do it is to put it out. Go on the record.

Why don't you have a date yet? Is there a reason why it's not out? So here's the deal. Is it like a business thing? Is it a sponsor thing? Then that's understanding. But if it's just you, put a date on it. There was an ad sold into a different episode that we were supposed to put out by December.

There was like some sort of mix up where like we were doing one and then changed to another. It's like the first episode, which is obviously very key, as you know. The other ones after that are going to be much more straightforward. Yes and no. Yes and no. I mean, yes, but also. So wait, are you telling me that there's a business problem? There was. There was.

There was changes as far as ads and things like that. Is there someone downstairs saying no, no, no, don't put this out yet? Not directly. There's certain ad things that could happen that it's like, oh, we're waiting on this. No. Like, listen, I'm not calling anybody out. Sponsor the pod as, you know, you're not very friends.

Failing up is what I was going to say. But to steal their phrase, sponsor the pod. I can say that on here. And listen, there's so many brands, all these things. I would say I'm going to hate myself. They're done, right? They're not done. They're not completely done.

I'm working on voiceover stuff. I'm working on graphic stuff. I want it to be fucking good. I've waited so long. I know that. I'm going to say February. We went to the fucking Patriots. We drove to the Patriots game opening last season? No, the one before.

That was the heirloom. People forget I shot the heirlooms video. You shot the heirlooms video. We talked about that the whole drive. Dude, I've been watching. That was like two years ago. I've been watching the clips of you and Logan in the fucking water. You fucking wrestling the snakes and the alligators.

You have all the footage. You know what the fuck you're doing. And I know you want the first one to be big, and I know you want it to all be perfect. That's not how this works. You have to just do it and start it and grow it. I stayed up till 4.15 last night. Yeah, because you grind, bro. You're going to crush this.

You're being Rudy right now. You're being Rudy, and I'm being YP. That's why Robbie and Trent chirp me because I yell at Rudy about that stuff and then I have the same problems. I have the same problems on a little bit. You're so unique that nobody else here has ever done. I know.

The problem is there's a huge dichotomy. When I used to make music videos in college, bro, I really thought I was like Mac Miller, all these things. Rest in peace. But I really thought at that time, I like bro like i'm this good i'm that i'm gonna be huge and i had no self-awareness to the point that i would just put shit out and i was it was awesome right but you are a much better outdoorsman no no but my rapper so you should be even more confident in this let's not no disrespect to the no no i'm joking but anyways all i'm saying is at that time right not helping having self-awareness is awesome yes i put every

video and you see some of these videos you're like oh fuck like and you can't you have to be you have to be you know you have to you can't be reckless about it but the reason why i got where i got and where we're all at is just because i just did it and i didn't care and you weren't doing it so many days in a row. You weren't doing it for the sponsor. You weren't worried about the second floor. You weren't worried about the voiceovers being perfect. You just put out a good product.

But the most important thing is to put it out. We did it like four years. With no money. With no money. Wasn't that every day too? No, it wasn't every day. What was it? Mail time was every day.

Oh, yeah. I did daily. Yeah, I had like three, two and a half podcasts going for years. Dave would get mad at me for no money not vlogging right like we'd do it like we'd record in the middle of that thought it was a hobby there was no money for the longest time no downloads along we were doing like 10 000 downloads for like two years before it pops it's just so interesting because it's like on the other side of it and that's the other thing if you don't have a segment of the show or an Instagram show or a T-shirt that says, it's just so interesting.

I mean, you sit around with YP for more than two hours, you'll hear, I just think it's so interesting. You'll hear it 65,000 times. I'm not going to say whatever comes out of my brain. If Flatterberg tells me some shit about Fall River, I'm like, damn, that's interesting, dude. I didn't know that. That's interesting, dude. My English teacher told us if someone calls you interesting, you're not interesting. Wow, I'm sending out a lot of sublim interesting, dude. I didn't know that. That's interesting, dude. My English teacher told us if someone calls you interesting, you're not interesting. Wow.

I'm sending out a lot of subliminal shots there. I don't know. Kevin, it's got to be. If anybody ever says to you at a party, that's interesting, it's not interesting. It's tough. There's such a cliff of, like, comfortable, regular life mixed with, like, actually going to, like, a huge thing. It's so easy to just do the default, to do the status quo, you know? Like, dude, Tekashi takashi like everyone hated him and like he did some bad shit but like say what you want about getting

attention the dude was like i'm literally gonna tattoo my fucking face and dye my hair he's like no matter what i will get it like and guess what obviously witness protection bro like he did that obviously it went bad but like when you're sitting in like uh i'm trying to get bigger mode it's like there's such a measured thing where you don't want to lose the comfortability of something. It's like I don't want – like, bro, I'm – It's always easy to say no and to just not do something. I always get that with new Twitter followers. When I get like a follower who's big –

You get gun shy? I'm like, yeah, I'm like my next tweet's got to be great. 100%. But you just got to let it – you got to do you. It's just so weird. Like when we did the Landon Rhodes interview, week's got to be great. 100%. But you guys got to do you. It's just so weird. Like, when we did the Land of Roads interview, it's like, that was awesome. Like, it exposed me to all your guys' audience and it did so good. And then you're like, all right, that was good.

I'm safe now. It's like, no, dude, I should have been doing. Like, bro, I have two of those Land of Roads interviews. Like, why have I not put those out? We should be putting that shit out. Do it. I'm trying to put it out. You got plenty of footage. You got plenty like it's funny you want to have like

600 000 followers oh 570 yeah but it's yeah it's dude it's like you have a fucking enormous uh distribution channel right there it's crazy i don't know what it is is it's like you you kind of get this weird mental thing i'm I'm close to getting past it. There's a lot of stuff going on that's good. Pick a date. I'm going to say by the end of February would be, so that's, what is that, 12 days? 10 days. 18 and 28 is, that's 10, my man.

Pick a number. I'm going to say by the 28th. On the fucking record. That's how we do it. All right. Don't leave me hanging. I really hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. But listen, here's the thing. I'm almost, I was trying to how we do it. All right. And that's... Don't leave me hanging. I really hope that doesn't come back to haunt me.

But listen, here's the thing. I'm almost... I was trying to be done with it by this weekend. Everyone, oh, trying to get you to come out. I'm like, dude, if you're out, like,

drinking in the club, in the bar, while I have this shit not done, you're a clown. You know what I mean? Like, I can't be walking around like that. You gotta do it.

You have to put out your shit. I agree, dude. And it's gonna be good. It's gonna crush. Go work on it right now. Go work on it right now. I'm gonna go work on it right now. Thank you for shouting out my boy, Rude Boy 2. I'm happy for all. Health and wealth to all my dogs.

Health and wealth to all my dogs. I just find it interesting that you haven't put it out yet. Voicemail time brought to you by Burrow. Get yourself a Burrow couch. It's stylish. It's comfortable. It's convenient it's advanced, it's technological

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what up KFC fight Super Roots to BC I got a question for y'all I was wondering what do you think the highest percentage of people jacking off in the world ever was? At one point, what do you think the most amount of people were jacking off in the world? All right, thanks. Great question. Have we done the New York question yet?

The sex in New York? I don't think so. How long do you think the streak of continuous sex occurring in New York city is? Oh God. Like, so right now, right now,

right now, right now. Like what do you think? Decades. Yeah. That's what I thought. So, but there's,

so I mean, I've been debating this for a while now. New York was found. That's what I said as well. But I also, there is just the possibility a nanosecond. Like I finished and your dick's not in yet. You's what I said as well. But I also, there is just the possibility, a nanosecond, like, I finished and your dick's not in yet.

You know what I mean? Like, you're about to, and I finished, and it just, I do not think, there's what, how many million people live here?

Nine million. Nine million people. And it's a city, it's a city that, you know, you can party till four, the crazy people who like to fuck are out till five,

six, seven, ten in the morning. There's tourists. There's college students where time doesn't matter. And then there's just regular fucking. So I'm with you. Then we thought maybe it didn't stop on 9-11.

No. Okay. No. I thought that maybe like some people were like, oh, my God, the world's ending. Let's fuck. But then I thought maybe like you know like as the second tower fell like okay wait a minute hang on like could there have been a momentary

break where people were like wait a minute we're under siege right now people are dying let's not fuck I guess it's possible but I would not and then if you but then if you take that out they got 9-11 it's since the New York the five points there were

9-11 happened at a time when you kind of insulated people on the Upper West Side didn't know about it if you didn't turn on the news it wasn't like an immediate knowledge thing I would imagine that there were I would imagine that there are people who live in New York City who did not know about 9-11

for hours yeah I'm sure especially if you were just like New York City who did not know about 9-11 for hours. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah, especially if you were just like – There are people who live in New York City who probably don't know about 9-11 right now. Well, all right. So I'm kind of with you on that. I do think that there is just mathematically there's a chance where there's a break.

But if there is, it's for like a millisecond. The 60s was my gut answer. 60% of people? No, no, no. The 60s. That was the last time. Oh, got it, got it. I don't know why.

This new question is, what percentage of people at one time do you think were jerking off? In the whole world. I mean, it's a minuscule percentage. It's a big number, but a percentage would be little. What percent? I mean,.05? Yeah, I mean, I'm not laughing. That's a bad answer.

It's just funny to put, like, 0.05%. I mean, you've got to throw out everyone who's, like, under the age of, like, 12. Or, like, 10. I don't know, some freaks out there, you know? Probably throw out, like, the really old. I would say over 50. Then you've got to throw out the people who are asleep on one half of the world. So you're only working in one hemisphere.

I would say it's in the hundreds of thousands of people. Out of 7 billion? Yeah. I would say like 100,000 people. That's really small. That's like 0.01%, right? I'm not a math guy. 100,000 out of 7 billion?

Nah, there's more people jerking off than that. At the peak? The000 out of 7 billion? Nah, there's more people jerking off than that. At the peak? The peak moment of jerk off? I don't think. I don't. I'll put a mil on it. I think at one point there's a million people jerking off. Oh, I'm thinking at a regular.

You know, like Pornhub always puts out those things. Yeah, those stats. Like after the Super Bowl. Yeah yeah yeah This town jerked off a lot I don't I don't put too much stock In those things

No but there you know But even then there's probably You know thousands of people In that little town Or whatever alone And then you gotta extrapolate To the whole world Or at least again to the hemisphere

I'm very into my hemispheres right now By the way Can we talk about Pornhub real quick True Always Always You recently obtained A by the way, can we talk about porno real quick? true, always you recently obtained a premium account

I have my premium account, yes you gave me the password, and let me tell you what it's very much in my head what do you mean? I'm always like, if I watch this is it going to be on Kevin's Recommended? is he going to see what are you embarrassed

I'm no yeah like I'm not embarrassed but it's let me tell you we are better friends than that you're bearing yourself to the world with with your most intimate desires what are you watching that you think I would I don't know it's not like I don't think I'd like gross you out or anything like that

this is great this is going to be great for content. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. You and I will be sharing this Pornhub account. Correct. And we will have to, well, I don't know about tweet it out because. Yeah.

Tweeting is a little much. Yeah. We will be cross-referencing things for sure and discussing which things surprise us. That's what's going to happen. But I don't think I'm going to be surprised by anything. I don't think, I don't think you will be either. What's the worst that you could watch? Trainee porn? I'm not gonna bat an eyelash over that no no it's it's it's not like i'm not worried about like selling like showing

you something makes you go oh i'm just like it it's it's it hasn't stopped me in any round but it's just something you think about like oh like what's kevin gonna think when he sees this and again it's nothing bad or like over the top or anything like that it's just it's just the video and you're like oh that's what john likes it's it's very much it's very it's the most intimate thing i think but do you think your porn succession selection is like more intimate than anything you do with a significant other anything like that definitely it's i mean you always talk about desire if your girl ever wants to watch porn it's like you, you don't watch what you really want. You hide your true self and your true feelings, especially when it comes to

porn. But I just can't imagine that there's anything that you think that I would be like, oh, whoa, Johnny. No, it's not a whoa. It's just showing you. It's like my dick. I don't care if you see my dick, but the process of showing it to you would make

you go like, oh. I don't care if you see my dick, but the process of showing it to you would make you go like, I don't care if you see my dick. But to actually show it to you would be – Unzip it, pull it out. Yeah, it's a whole thing. All right. Well, now it's in my head too. It hadn't been. I guess it's probably for the best that it is in my head.

Well, let's go watch some porn tonight. Hey, guys. How you doing? Hope it's good. I feel like I recognize this voice. And rather than just having an open bar like every other high school reunion in the history of reunions, the people planning mine decided that we should run a marathon together. Oh, my God.

Holy shit. that we should run a marathon together. Oh, my God. The whole idea is terrible. I was going to say, what part you guys thought was worse? The idea of interacting with people you haven't seen since high school sober or running. All right, thanks. Bye. I mean, it's running. It's definitely running. I mean, every single year in my life,

like the day we had to run the mile in gym class was the worst day of the year. So this has been a long time, a long streak here, me hating running. If you try to make me do a marathon under any circumstances, let alone getting back together with people in high school, in which you like probably 1% of the people there. That is, I mean, that's so far from the part that upsets me,

like seeing old people. I don't care about that. of people there. That is, I mean, that's so far from the part that upsets me, like seeing old people. I don't care about that. I think people make such a big deal of reunions and stuff like that. I don't care. You know, John, you got to remember that despite, contrary to popular belief, your life's pretty good. You go back to your reunion and you're the barstool guy. You're doing good.

You're making money. You know, you got your hair still for a lot of people going back to reunions is a problem I guess I hadn't thought about the bald part that really sticks out if you're fat and bald, it's like, what happened to you bro

but you just don't go then, I guess I don't have any I cannot believe that anybody is going to agree to this I paused, I guess. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't have any... That's like, I cannot believe that anybody is going to agree to this. I paused. I went to my... I didn't go to mine. I went to like a five-year reunion, which was like, we are all still hanging out.

This is stupid. I went to a college thing that must have been like 10. That's it. I didn't go to my reunion. I went to... I've done that too. I was friends with like, most of my friends were older than me. So I went to my reunion. I went to... I've done that, too. I was friends with, like, most of my friends were older than me, so I went to their reunion.

I went to my baby mama's, and that was it. I guess I'm baby mama now. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Pretty good. There's a plus. But the idea, this is just... John, I'm not exaggerating. this is just... I mean, this is... John, I'm not exaggerating.

This is the worst idea of all time. I always thought, I always think about that with, for some reason, the image that always pops up in these scenarios is A-Rod. When I was always so stunned that his whole team let him do that kissing. Yeah, kissing the mirror, yeah. Right, and like...

Not one person said, stop! There were a lot of people there, a collective, and no one said, this isn't a great idea. This blows the mirror. Yeah, kissing the mirror, yeah. Right? And like, there were a lot of people there, a collective, and no one said, this isn't a great idea. This blows the water. I imagine that there is, the reunion committee,

there's a substantial amount of people on that. I would guess above five. If there's more than one, like one person comes up with the idea, a second one should say no. No, exactly. Yeah, if there are two people, someone should have said no. These things are already kind of awkward.

These things are already something that people choose not to go to. If you're trying to encourage someone to go to something that is already usually a party with alcohol and food and people still say no, you're going to take all that away and then make them run. In a marathon? I mean, a marathon is very aggressive. How about a 5K? A 5K is one thing.

A marathon. Well, now I'm sure it's like what we did here was a collective thing or something like that. Can't expect everyone to be running 26 miles, but any sort of running at all. Like you, like if you, the high school graduating class,

my class was very small. So I, but like, I would guess there's maybe one person who can run a marathon. At graduation. Right, right. At the time when you. Not, she sounded like five, ten years later.

Yeah. There can't be anybody who can run a marathon. No, horrific idea. And what is the, like, do you have a year? Do you have to train for your high school reunion? Are you fucking kidding me? Spaghetti arms. Are you fucking kidding me?

I mean, that's the crazy. I'm training for what? My high school reunion. Kill yourself. That's nuts. Hey, Tessie, Spike, BC. So we are at Galentine's Day, but we are just trying to determine if our new friend's possible boyfriend is a sociopath. So please explain what he does again.

Okay, so he watches TV. But instead of using a streaming service, he has two external hard drives. One only has episodes of Conan O'Brien shows on it. And the other only has episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos. And when he watches them, after he finishes the episode, he sorts them into categories of will watch again or will not watch again. Wait, but my question is, like, does he already have these on the hard drive, or did he, like, pre-download them, and he's, like, re-assessing them? Like, he's already seen all of the episodes. And then he's seen them all at least once,

and then he sorts them into rewatchable folders based on, like, a ranking. I don't know. I don't date the guy, but, like, he has to. Their next date is to meet dinner and eat tarot cards. Well, okay. That sounds super fucking crazy. But only just because it's a quirky thing to have it on a hard drive. I mean, you do this with The Office and Always Sunny, basically.

So if it was on Netflix, it'd be okay? But you put it on a hard drive and now he's a sociopath? I mean, they're weird shows you put it on a hard drive. They're weird shows. Yeah, they're weird shows. They're weird shows. Especially like Conan. Conan is topical. It's a timely thing.

America's Funniest Home Videos is not topical, but, uh, it's America's Funniest Home Videos. Like, shout out to that, but,

you know, there was a time when AFV fucking crossed. Oh, Bob Saget crushed Bob Saget Giant crystal $100,000 winner

I remember thinking the crystal was cooler I was like keep the cash I want that jewel When I was young We would watch America's Funniest Home Videos And I would say Bob F word And my parents thought it was the funniest thing I was going to say your dad was probably like,

say it again. It was like, that was, that was what, what do you say? Oh, let's just call it. It was saying Bob faggots.

Okay. That's just a little kid saying Bob faggots. It was, it was like, it was like the nineties were a crazy time apparently, but it was like, that was how he was known in my house. Bob F word.

Yo, that shit was like the og like viral videos you know like that's where you watch people get like hitting the nuts and shit like that you know what i was thinking about uh recently with um the progression of this is an american funnism videos but uh like crime shows like it was you know csi was big and it was Law and Order, then CSI, now it's the true crime documentaries. Are we 10 years away from live streaming murders?

Girls love the true crime shit, the serial killer stuff so much. I understand why Ted Bundy was murdering all of them. I know he was good looking, but it's also because these hoes are just obsessed with that. He really wasn't. Ted Bundy is the most overrated guy in the world. A hundred percent.

Like, relax. He's not that high. He wasn't even that great of a murderer. He's mediocre looking. Right. Although I did see a side-by-side with him and Efron where it kind of looks similar. And if you're even kind of similar to Efron, you're a good looking guy. I mean, it was a fucking, it was, Efron was trying to look like him.

But I also think that in, no, no, no, this was... Oh, yeah. Maybe it was him on the set. I also just think, you know, people from, like, the 80s are uglier than people from the 90s and people from the 70s are uglier than people from the 80s. So that... Maybe in his day,

he was hot shit, but he ain't shit now. Do you think we're gonna eventually eliminate ugly people? Let's hope. What does that mean? Well, because, like, do you think they'll just become extinct? Oh, like, we'll just breed them out of mean? Well, because, like, do you think they'll just become extinct?

Oh, like, we'll just breed them out of existence? Because, like, look. No. No. If you have two attractive parents, right, and then they have an attractive kid. No, I get the science. That person embarrassed someone attractive. I get the genetics.

I get it. Do you know how many other people there are? There are a lot. I have lost. I've actually gained so much confidence in myself because I have a text going with Ken Jack. The only thing we text, he texts me his blacklist TikToks. These are TikToks that are so fucked up and so gross and so grotesque that he thinks he would be like bullying if he were to make fun of them. So all the things that you see on his text chains, on his tweet threads, are like the PG-13 stuff.

He's like, this is okay to make fun of. He sends me creatures. He sends me, you have one that I've, I've seen you show to like everybody. I mean, they're not, they're subhuman.

There's the one girl who's, she looks like the guy from 300 that they banished to the mountains. And his, her eyelid closes horizontally like a lizard. It doesn't blink this way, it blinks that way. Can I tell you something? I've never noticed that. You've shown it to me a bunch of times.

I gotta slow it down for you. I've watched it, I still can't see it. Ken Jack zoomed in on it. It's like a film. It's disgusting. There's this one guy, his face is so long and droopy, he looks like that cartoon dog, the droopy dog. There's these creatures, man.

There's subhuman. And I just think to myself, there's so many more of those types out there. We are rock stars in the general picture of the world. What percentage of attractiveness would you say you are? 0.01% when you start to look at these fucking people. 0.01%?

Like, when you think about the masses. I was going to give myself top 7%. 0.01 is genius. Yeah, maybe not. Definitely single digits. I was going to give myself top 7%. 0.01 is genius. Yeah, maybe not. Definitely single digits. I'm going to go sub five. And that's not. I'm going sub five.

That has nothing to do with. I do not think I'm particularly attractive. No, but I mean, there's seven, eight billion people. I guarantee the vast majority are horrifically ugly. What percentage? Just think about it. Just think about it, dude. I mean, you're over 6 feet tall

you got light eyes and nice hair that's like the cream of the crop of human existence alright Hitler yeah yeah I could sit at the table with Hitler and he'd be like okay you're good

until he finds out my last name is Feidelberg. No, I'm German. I swear. I really think we're, you know, it's like when we did that conversation about like what percentage of like good people are you? And you're like, everyone's a scumbag. You're top echelon, really, when it comes down to it. This is nice. You're a good guy, John.

You're a pretty boy. All right. Top 1%, bro. I needed this. I had a tough couple days. I mean, there's a reason why famous people are famous, because it's so fucking hard to be as pretty as they are. You know?

Yeah. We will say, like, what's Kim Kardashian's talent? Being better looking than you. Yes. And the best marketer ever. Right. But just also having, like, that beautiful fat ass and great tits and beautiful face and nice hair and shit it's like if anybody's ever compared you to like a celebrity that's good looking you're right next to him technically in the grand scheme

of eight billion people that's fair when you see these creatures on fucking tiktok holy shit you're the sexiest man alive you're saying this because some people call you tom brady's brother with down oh did they oh yeah okay I didn't even think about that. Yeah. If I'm compared to Tom Brady at all, even his retarded brother, I'm basically as hot as he is. Last voicemail of the day brought to you by Noom. Sticking to a weight loss plan can be hard. Yeah.

I know. I had another bowl of Lucky Charms this morning. Chucky Charms. They're in my house for my kids. I eat them anyway. Yeah, both mates. I can't not have that in the house, though, for the kids. But then when I have them, I eat them.

So catch 22. Either I'm fat and a good dad, or I'm hot and a bad dad. What are you going to pick? I'm probably a good dad. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's what I'm sticking to right now. But see how fat I get. And then I'm going to be like, Shay, go watch Blippi.

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I got a wild one here. I got a buddy. Every time he gets home or going home with a chick from, like, the bar, just in general, if he knows the chick's coming over and he doesn't have time to shower, runs into the bathroom for a minute and sink washes his junk. Just fucking suds up the ball,

suds up the dick and gets it all ready to go. He thinks this is normal. We think it's fucking crazy. What's your guys' thoughts? I mean, he washes his dick and balls in the sink when he doesn't have time to shower but he's got a girl coming over.

I don't think it's, like, normal. I think it's a bit weird if you're like, hang on, I gotta go suds up my balls. But, like, I think it's polite. I guess it's polite. I think it's better than running up in there with a stinky junk. I always think about that with A Star is Born.

When Lady Gaga does that. Yeah, yeah. But she goes in and she does, like, her armpits and her vagina. I've never done anything like that maybe i'm just a bad person well you don't sweat so you're not i don't know what's you're fucking weird i mean have you have you done this before uh i don't think i've ever washed my dick like specifically for hookup purposes but i think i've uh done a shower, a sink shower before. I don't know that I have.

I've done like. I mean, I shouldn't say I think. I have definitely done a shower, a sink shower before where it's like I got to start the day or I slept out and I just, you know. I have for sure been inside of a Starbucks going to work back at like Deloitte days, like left somebody's apartment, went to fucking a Starbucks, brushed my teeth and like. Really? Yeah. One thing, it's one thing to do it in your own home. Yeah.

To do it at a Starbucks. I mean, I was like, this is probably like 20, you know, 23 years old, like fresh out of college, you know, doing God knows what before work. I've done like, like when I was younger, I did like the axe thing. Yeah. I don't think I've ever, nothing against it. I just don't think I've ever really utilized the same just don't think i've ever really i think i think if the alternative is like you got a girl coming over and you have you think you have a particularly

stinky crotch i think it's better to shower clean yourself up than not if i if i thought i had a stinky dick i would just shower right but i guess you know whatever the situation is you don't you can't get fully wet or you can't i i don't think i've ever gone out side like with a stinky dick like i think that's not true i think you're just i mean maybe i've gone to like the bodega but i've never gone like out for the night or something right yeah i've never gone to like in college anywhere i'd see people with a stinky dick no i remember one time i went i have to it's like i'm conditioned. I have to shower before I leave the house. I'm with you on that. But I remember one time I was in college. It was like a snowstorm.

We had a snow day. Me and my buddy Kyle went to the bar. And we thought it was going to be just us. We were planning on just smashing pitchers and eating bar food by ourselves. So we just rolled out of the dorms. And I was either unshowered or I don't know. late in the day whatever

it was and we end up going there and a lot of other people had the same idea and we end up playing flip cup with these chicks so we got like we got in a big ass group and i remember i just stunk i was just it was like i just got out of the gym and i remember i was just like blaming on everybody else i was like yo that girl stinks pro proactively rather like you know it's like almost if you fart, you want to smell it first and be like, oh, yeah, did you smell that, dude? I've done that with farts. I've been like, what the fuck is that? I've definitely never been out. Yeah, well, this sticks out in my mind.

I'd go home. Yeah, I mean, I did eventually. I was like, I gotta go. I would be so embarrassed. But if you're caught in a jam, let's say you didn't expect it, like a girl wants to go home with you, and it's like, well, I don't want her being turned off. I think I would not take a girl home. Really?

Yeah. Well, I think you're in a position to maybe do that. Again, you gotta think about the poor, unfortunate souls of this world. I would just be like, I have to go home, and then if someone intercepted me as I was leaving, I'd be like, look, I stink. That's why me as I was leaving, I'd look like I stink. That's why I like dude wipes and shit like that around. I just clean that shit up. Hey, listen.

If you poop your pants at a party, what are you going to do? You got to wash your butt in the sink. That's it for today's episode. We'll see you guys tonight. Answer the internet. 9 p.m. The guys from Super Troopers. Farva, and I think Matt is the other guy's episode. We'll see you guys tonight. Answer the Internet. 9 p.m. The guys from Super Troopers Farva and I think Matt is the other

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