KFC Radio - Dying Deadspin, Rhett & Link, and Jason Nash

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

How to blow yourself. Does the ocean have walls? Obama & Mitt Romney. Deadspin writers think they are civil rights activists. Voicemails include: Building Frankenstein, Day or Night, Eat Your Dog,... how women masturbate.Rhett & Link from Good Mythical morning stop by to talk about their new book, basically inventing Youtube, actually inventing Chuck Testa, being Youtube dads and having rich people hair.Jason Nash joins KFC to talk about Vine, the Vlogsquad, and stand-up comedyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by Felix Grey Glasses. Woody, woo! Did you see Trent? Trent is just wearing the wrong size glasses. Like, really, really the wrong size glasses. He took them off
Starting point is 00:00:25 and he has like a permanent divot in his head looks like fucking shane battier he has like i mean a very noticeable like divot in his head where the the i don't know this what do you call those the sticks of your glasses the frames and and and like he didn't know it and i was like oh my god dude and then he felt it he was like oh my god i'm never gonna stop thinking about this like what it's like he's wearing children's glasses with his big fat corn head it's crazy his big fat corn head yeah speaking of crazy we'll get to it after this just go ahead we. We're off the rails these days. Oh, my God. It's an off-the-rails week. What the hell was Marty? Did you see what happened with Martin? The walls!
Starting point is 00:01:08 The walls! But the fact, that's crazy in and of itself. He just, like, we were just talking. Yeah. Everyone was in a circle talking. And he just tweets that. And he just, like, had his phone out. He's just playing with his phone.
Starting point is 00:01:20 And he just tweets, like, how are there no walls to the ocean? He's so stupid that he's smart because like that's something you do when you're like this this conversation bores me like you guys are talking about the baseball game i'm over here having intellectual thoughts about science and ocean walls and like he's he's humoring you he's just like letting you peasants talk sports while he thinks about the ocean walls. The fact that he doesn't understand. The ocean is an in-ground pool, Marty. Yes, exactly. That's what I was saying. What was his line?
Starting point is 00:01:50 How come there's no water in the streets? How come there's no water in the streets from your pool, Marty? Because there's only a certain amount of water, and it's filled up in this space called... I wanted to... I was thinking about it all night. I was like, here's how I'm going to describe it to him.
Starting point is 00:02:06 And I'm thinking like, what if the Earth was just completely dry and it just looked like this and some parts of it had holes and some parts of it were high and some parts of it were low and then you poured water into it. And the Pacific Ocean
Starting point is 00:02:15 is just a big batch of water that fills up to a certain point. And then that's it. I was thinking about like, I was going to get some styrofoam and come in and show him this is what the world looks like you fucking moron you just have to show him
Starting point is 00:02:27 a pool right exactly like that that looked like the deck by the way whatever the ground surrounding the pool how come the pool water isn't on that ground just cause it's in the pool if you don't know what we're talking about I guess we had to describe it better last night on the live stream as everyone was just
Starting point is 00:02:43 hanging out on the couch watching the gambling cave marty marty tweeted like how come how does the ocean like stay put with no walls let me get the exact wording because even just his stupidity can't even be paraphrased so mad his stupidity can't be paraphrased it's got to be read verbatim and he said it's truly this is at 7 12 p. last night. It's truly amazing we have oceans that aren't surrounded by walls like a pool. And it does, by the way, just one sentence. It's truly amazing we have oceans that aren't surrounded by walls like a pool and it doesn't leak out into the streets, period. And Feidelberg was like, we do have fucking walls. It's called like the earth.
Starting point is 00:03:18 It's called the plates. It's called the crust. It's, I don't know if they're tectonic plates, but whatever they are, they're the walls. Like, you know, the ground is flat, but then if there was no water there, it would just go down like a wall. Like a fucking wall. He's literally stomping it. It really pissed off Rudy. He was like, he makes an interesting point.
Starting point is 00:03:41 No, he doesn't. You're just as stupid, Rudy. If you're watching on Barstool Gold, Feidelberg was like, he was like the lollipop guild. He was like, no, you're fucking. No, he doesn't! You're just as stupid, Rudy. If you're watching on Barstool Gold, Feidelberg was like, he was like the lollipop guild. He was like, I'm gonna fucking get you! He was like pulling his hair out of his head. He's like,
Starting point is 00:03:53 Go out of the walls! Go to fucking Earth! Marty just would not, he just would not relent. And then one of the other idiots was on your side. He was correct, but he was an idiot. So it was like, well, all I have for backup is an idiot. I was like, I'm gonna get in my car in my car and drive into the fucking city right now just to teach these morons what's going on.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Yeah, it was Jack. The fake Jack Mack? Fake Jack, yeah. Fucking idiot. Like, come on. Good catch. Yeah. Anyway, the thing about Marty is he's Dr. Rat and he puts on a pair of glasses and all of a sudden he thinks he's smart. Because when you wear glasses, you're smart. Fact. It's like, you smoke cigarettes, you're cool. You wear glasses, you're smart. Fact. It's like you smoke cigarettes, you're cool.
Starting point is 00:04:25 You wear glasses, you're smart. These are things that are just facts. Universal facts. And so Felix Gray, they know that you're going to look cool, but they're also going to try to help you out. They're going to try to save your eyeballs. Because the average American blasts their eyeballs with bright lights for 11 hours a day. We're at at least 16. I mean, 12 hours on the computer for work and on the phone for work.
Starting point is 00:04:43 An hour, a couple minutes here for porn, a couple hours, a couple minutes here when you're reading something at night. Speaking of porn, I've been just doing it quick lately. Really? Yeah, I've been doing the whole thing. Let's talk about that in a second. So Felix Grey makes glasses that can save your eyes with the Felix Grey
Starting point is 00:05:00 blue light filtering glasses available in prescription and non-prescription. I mean, Trent needs a new... I feel like his brain is going to leak out of his ears. How is that possible? He's got no walls. No walls! Why doesn't your brain just come out of your ears? It just leaks out everywhere.
Starting point is 00:05:17 But, honestly, when it comes to the vagina, that is the case. I'm almost Marty when it comes to the vagina. It's like, this should just be leaking all the time. Yeah, I mean, it is. It should be. It is.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Constantly vaginal. It's crazy to love this or hate this. We're either doing a make good or they're like, we're going to play this at their fucking conferences. Like, this is what we want from our ad reads. I don't think it's that. I don't think it's at the conference. You know what?
Starting point is 00:05:41 It's probably not, but it should be. Because the general public is going to fucking remember Felix Grey glasses and walls and all cigarettes and pussies and stuff. People always say that you guys do the best ads on the network, but I'm like, do they play these? Do they show these
Starting point is 00:05:56 to Ellie? And they're like, do it like this! I honestly might as well just do the make good right now. I should just read the script right now. So, the actual start of this episode is brought to you by Felix Gray. Felix Gray Glasses, gray with an A, glasses.com slash Kevin. Fuck, John. Free shipping and 30 days of risk-free returns or exchanges for a pair of the blue light filtering Felix Gray Glasses.
Starting point is 00:06:22 That's FelixGrayGlasses.com slash Kevin. Talking porn. What, you don't like porn anymore? Pussy? It's not porn that I don't like. It's myself, probably. Like, I haven't made love to myself in a while. Like, every time I've been, like, I've been fucking myself.
Starting point is 00:06:37 But, like, it's quick. There's no passion in it. It's funny you use that word. I caught some heat the other day. I was promoting the fuck out of it. Well, I guess i guess by the way this is our first episode since the internet came out well came out tuesday right but now yeah we did our we'll be on we'll be rich in tahiti yeah in the future but now we know we're actually getting screwed i'm not getting it now we know that all the money is going somewhere else now it's really frustrating now we saw how many how many fucking things we sold
Starting point is 00:07:05 and it's like oh none of that went to us amazon sold out walmart's ready to ship we're selling out it's it's uh it's a it's as big of a success as we thought we already sold in a day we sold with that initial memory i've been telling everybody how much we initially ordered and how we were off by a factor of like 25 times we already sold that for more than that yeah like way more than that like i think i think we i think amazon individually sold just that yeah pretty good pretty good um uh so but i was promoting the fuck out of it and we did that thing with the video where it went really fast and you pushed down a button and one of them was if you had the flexibility to blow yourself would you and then would you tell people and i said you're fucking lying if you wouldn't at least try it.
Starting point is 00:07:46 I don't think I would. You would try it. Yes, you would. I would try it. I have tried it. But you didn't successfully try it. If you successfully tried it and you came to yourself. I haven't tried in a long time.
Starting point is 00:07:55 When was the last time you tried to suck your own dick? I mean, it's been a long time. Brandon? Don't you fucking act like you haven't. Don't get on it. Maybe when I was very, very young. The reason I don't try anymore is I also don't try to dunk a basketball.
Starting point is 00:08:10 It's a physical impossibility now. There was a chance. When was the last time you guys tried? I can honestly say it was probably when I was learning how to jerk off. It was probably like 13, 14. I was probably 25. You were trying to say you were 25?
Starting point is 00:08:24 No, but I was probably in high school. I don't think so. I think I just... Have you ever reached it? I learned fast. Have you ever reached it? No, I didn't even get close. You can't even come close.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I came close. Because you have no flexibility. You can't even touch your toes. No, I can't. I can touch my toes. I mean... It's about the flexibility. You know what I'm about to do. Yeah I can't. I can touch my toes. I mean... It's about the flexibility. You know what I'm about to do.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Yeah. Is it suck your own dick? Yeah. I'm going to... I mean, it's always like that. Somebody has to get at least near a mic. The problem is, it's like, you got to be flexible and you got to have a dick size. You know?
Starting point is 00:09:04 Oh, boy. Oh, you do it that way? What do you mean? be flexible and you got to have a dick size, you know? Oh, boy. You're going to. Oh, you do it that way? What do you mean? How else would you do it? I stand up. What? What?
Starting point is 00:09:13 Yeah. What are you talking about? I just go like this. What? Yeah. That's insane. How did you do it? That's insane.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Like John. Are you fucking kidding me? You just fucking tried to suck your own dick standing up? Yeah, you've got to use gravity. You've got to use gravity. You've got to have your hips coming towards you. What? No, see, I disagree, because I feel like when you fold up, your dick is almost like going in.
Starting point is 00:09:38 This is like, my dick is up like this, and I'm just trying to get to the tip. No way. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. I haven't tried it that way. There is no wrong way to suck your own dick. Well, they're all the wrong way because we haven't succeeded at once.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I'm going to Google this right now because there's definitely, there's got to be a guy who's filmed it. How to suck your own dick? No, I'm going to Google like guy sucking his own dick. I guarantee there's a video. I'm going to see how he's doing it. Because by the way. I guarantee he's laying down.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Let's say you succeed. Wouldn't your head be like hitting the ground? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sucking my own dick the right way. There's no way. You're just like a fucking rooster, just like cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck. There's no I call him rooster. I don't know. What?
Starting point is 00:10:18 Do roosters cluck? Chicken. Chicken head. But like what? Oh, yeah, yeah. Chicken head. Suck your own dick video. Sucking your own dick on X videos. Yeah, he does it your way. Yeah, of course he does it my way. But that's fake.
Starting point is 00:10:36 That's someone else's legs. That's someone else's legs. I saw a video. I saw a video of a girl going down on herself that was clearly fake. It was like, you know that, like, you almost play a game where you sit on someone and they cross their legs. She was doing that with just a whole other body, and it was very, very obvious that's what she was doing. She was just eating someone else's pussy, saying it was her own. Anyway, off the rails once again.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I was talking about that question and i said i do i need energy so we'll do let's do another shot um what is this fucking random is this yours just a random cup of coffee new amsterdam shout out um i think you're lying if you wouldn't say you try what let's say right now you bless every man with the flexibility to do so, they would at least try. If you don't like second dick, then fine. You're going to try. Oh, I would try.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I just don't think I would like a dick in my mouth. Fine. But then I said, you know, would you talk about it? Would you tell people? And honestly, is it that much different than talking about passionately stroking your penis several times a week? Yes, it is. Why?
Starting point is 00:11:41 It's very, very different. Why? Because touching, like, I touch things all the time that I don't like. Would you touch my dick? I'd touch your dick, too. Would you jerk me off? No, I wouldn't jerk you off.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I'd touch it. But touching things is so much less intimate than sucking things. That's just a fact. Right, but we're still talking about an intimate act. It's not like one
Starting point is 00:11:58 is completely not sexual. You're doing something sexual with a dick all the time. Yeah, but I can't taste it. Fine, but it's all over your fucking hand You blast it onto your belly So that's pretty fucking gay and intimate You know
Starting point is 00:12:11 Yeah but I don't I know it's more intimate And the word we're looking here for is worse But It's not like jerking off is not a thing It's sexual That's the whole It's tasting. That's the whole difference.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I just don't taste the dick. Well, so you're worried about the physical. Most guys are not doing this because they're like, well, am I gay? Right. And it's like, well, jerking off a dick is gay. It's just your dick. So why is sucking the dick gay? If you're worried about the physical, like I don't want the flesh in my mouth and the color in my mouth, fine.
Starting point is 00:12:39 But I guarantee you most guys are not worried about that and they're more worried about like, this makes me gay. Oh, I don't think so. Really? You think that people are turned off by, like, this tastes gross? I don't care about the homoeroticism. I just don't want to taste my dick. We're kind of gay, you know?
Starting point is 00:12:54 My dick definitely doesn't taste good. He's poor, girls. It's just a fact. Like, I know for a fact my dick doesn't taste good. I know it. I have the worst diet in the history of the world. Today I had 20 chicken McNuggets, a McFlurry, a quarter pounder, and an Adderall for lunch. And for dessert, amphetamines.
Starting point is 00:13:18 That is the worst tasting imaginable. I didn't realize where you go. I thought you were saying I put all this garbage in my mouth, but I won't put my dick in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:13:28 You're talking about the Oh, yeah. No, I'm talking about what that would make me taste like. By the way, it's not good. I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I love this podcast. I love this because what just happened there, by the way, to rewind for a second, hasn't happened to me in so long because we've covered so many things
Starting point is 00:13:42 when you think that you're doing something the right way and it's the wrong way and i don't even know who's right or wrong there i know i'm right but i think i made some sense myself but when you when i didn't even think it yeah i didn't even consider throwing my legs over my head when that happens it's so fun most people it most it happens for a lot of people with with shitting and wiping the first time you realize that some people stand and some people sit, it blows your mind.
Starting point is 00:14:07 When you get your mind blown, it's hard at 35 to get your mind blown. I've seen it all. I've heard it all. When you've done 10 years on the internet, you've seen and heard it all. I did not think about throwing my legs over my head and sucking my own dick. I thought you did it standing up. It just happened like two weeks ago, too. You both
Starting point is 00:14:23 fucking, you two perverts take your balls out to piss no uh wait what was that one yeah if you're i just go stem out yeah if i by the way i don't i think that got a little mischaracterized if i have a fly i just go uh oh okay i'm talking about because i think we were talking about no no uh fly underwear where you have to pull down if i pull down i go under the balls okay i don't do that either but i guess it makes more sense that because you know what the thing is to bring it back to that because i thought about this if i were to take like so again we're talking about boxers or sweatpants that are elastic with no fly if i put just my dick there the elastic stronger
Starting point is 00:15:02 than my dick like it's gonna to pull my dick up almost. The balls give it... It's standing. I can take my elastic... That's why you keep testosterone in the cum! I can take the elastic, again, sweatpants or boxers, whatever. I can put it under my balls and I can leave it there. If I put just the elastic in between my balls
Starting point is 00:15:22 and my dick... It's like a fire hose that you're holding down. Yes! It's going to pull your dick up your dick up things going all over the place so how am i the wrong one i just well i just hold it all the time i don't yeah okay well fine that so i i can do mine hands off i can go hands off too you got you got a fucking fat heavy dick on you got a heavy cock i actually outweigh some elastic. That's like... That's like breaking the rules of business. People always... Tell you what, you want to impress people? Piss without your hands.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Every time someone comes into the bathroom, you're like, no hands? I'm just like chilling, arms up. This guy, he's cool. This guy pisses without his... I'll just be leaning on the wall. I actually look really cool pissing. I guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Lean on the other. But you can do that with just your twig out. I need the berries for fortification. My stomach hurts. What are we talking about? Should we get into... Before the show started, we were going through the rundown of what we
Starting point is 00:16:25 want to talk about the two things we wanted to talk about were barack obama and mitt romney and somehow we're just talking about sucking our own dicks i'm telling you man this podcast is the best on the internet i don't know how we don't have joe rogan money yet this shit is so fucking funny what is going on it's totally we we like had to send brendan like okay here's the clip we'd like to discuss with brock obama here's the clip we'd like to say today will be the political episode of knc radio and i promptly fucking tried to show how i'd suck my own dick the wrong way i was within five minutes I was up on this table trying to suck my own penis. Oh, my God. We should still get to the politics to show our range.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Let's get political on them. The KSU radio politics. Yeah. How did we get there? Oh, the whole point was that people on the Internet gave me a hard time for saying that I stroke my dick passionately. And because that's how you said you jerk off. I got some confirmation from my guy. It's a passionate jerk. And if you're not
Starting point is 00:17:30 passionately jerking off, you're doing it wrong. And if you have a problem with people at Barstool Sports talking about passionately stroking their dicks, well then you're not one of us. That's how I've made my fucking career. Thank you very much. Fuck off. Politics. Anyway, the ocean has walls. Politics is brought
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Starting point is 00:19:00 and Dillard's is where you can get them. So head over to Dillard's, get your Steve Madden, and make sure you dress classic, but with a twist. You want to start with Mitt or Barrick? Barry, Barry-o. Let's go Barry. Yeah, this one I think was the more important and viral clip. And I think that, let's just play it.
Starting point is 00:19:24 This is Obama talking about cancel culture and how fucking stupid it is and how dumb you are if you think you're woke just because you talk shit on social media. The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws. People who you are fighting may love their kids and share certain things with you. And I think that one danger I see among young people,
Starting point is 00:20:02 particularly on college campuses, Malia and I talk about this. Yara goes to school with my daughter. But I do get a sense sometimes now among certain young people, and this is accelerated by social media, there is this sense sometimes of the way of me making change is to be as judgmental as possible about other people. And that's enough. Like if I tweet or hashtag about how you didn't do something right or used the wrong verb, then I can sit back and feel pretty good about myself.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Because man, you see how woke I was? I called you out. Let me get on TV. Watch my show. Watch Grown-ish. You know, that's not activism. I love the fact that this has to put the conservatives in like a pretzel, where it's like, we hate Obama, but he's saying exactly what they believe in, which is I think why this is such a great clip because it's like
Starting point is 00:21:09 even a guy who those woke people probably think of as like their savior, you know, as like the gold standard are like, wait, what? You know, I saw a couple tweets being like, it is so upsetting to see Barack, I don't know why they call him Barack, he's Obama,
Starting point is 00:21:24 to see Barackack i don't really call him barack you know he's obama to see barack like uh speaking down on on social justice and activism and it's like well did you listen to what he said like he's literally real social justice and activism just not your dumb fucking version of it that includes throwing stones at people on the internet but also that like first of all i don't agree with culture. I do not think it's a thing. What does that mean? It is. I think people try and get mad at you. So what?
Starting point is 00:21:50 But people get canceled. But, like, for, like, real reasons. Right. But I think that it can. Yeah, like, for, like, raping people. Like, if you say, like, fuck or, like, you don't lose your job. Right. But, well, I mean, that's where you get back to, like, the SNL thing and certain.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I mean, yeah, I guess you're right. Off the top of my head, I can't think of someone who... Has there been someone who was canceled who you're like, I can't believe that happened? I'm not the one because I just have a bad memory. There's got to be somebody. Like Louis C.K., he did something bad. And he also didn't get canceled.
Starting point is 00:22:23 He's still a stand-up comedian. He's rich. Yeah, but then he lost $30 million dollars in an hour His show got cancelled Because he Jerked off in front of people for 20 years Roseanne got cancelled For tweeting Nazi stuff Nazi things I support Hitler
Starting point is 00:22:42 She was tweeting Nazi things Didn't she say that somebody looks like they're from Planet of the Apes and it was, like, a black woman? Oh, yeah, that too. But, like, it was, like, that was, and that was, like, the culmination of, like, Roseanne's been tweeting really racist stuff on Twitter for a long time. Right, but it's, like, are you canceled if you do something wrong? You know, like, I think that, like, the outcry for the guy who said the stuff about ozuna like that's part of it it's like he said you know he was like ozuna ozuna and that had domestic violence implications but like i don't think he was fired on the spot for that he was fired
Starting point is 00:23:15 because of the outrage right yeah so that's fair but like also like he probably should have been fired like he went up to a bunch of female journalists and unpromptedly screamed about how much he loves the guy who beat his wife I mean but I think the culture around that's not a guy you should not want running your baseball team the cancel culture is the is the like seeking out of can I tap into
Starting point is 00:23:36 outrage for this because I just don't think it works a lot yeah but I would also say that maybe you don't like completely lose your job but you are you have a bad two days yeah but I would also say that maybe you don't completely lose your job, but you are – You have a bad two days. Yeah, but I think it can hinder your career. Maybe you don't lose everything, but I think you have a reputation. You have a scarlet letter.
Starting point is 00:23:52 You have certain doors are closed. You don't have the same – you're not in the same standing you once were. But all those things aren't getting canceled. Those are all – yeah, your life will change if you do something. But none of those things mean you got canceled. Canceled, yeah. I mean I guess the word at hand is like did you – are you no longer employed? Can you no longer make money?
Starting point is 00:24:10 Maybe not. But I think that the idea that like if enough people complain about something on the internet that you can like negatively impact someone, I think is what he's talking about here. And it's not even that – like a lot of times it's justified. Maybe they don't like achieve the ultimate goal of getting you fired or whatever that is. But I think Obama is talking about it from the other direction of like you shouldn't feel accomplished by doing that. Correct. That's the bigger message. I agree with everything he said.
Starting point is 00:24:37 My stance on cancel culture is that it's not real. But everything he said was right. The people who are... Maybe the quote-unquote victims of cancel culture aren't as much victims as the narrative is. But the people who enact it, they go home at night and they fucking put a notch on their belt. I saved the world. It's me and Martin Luther King. You are a dickhead with a Twitter account the same way.
Starting point is 00:25:04 You know, it's like, I remember thinking it so vividly during the election when it was like, Lena Dunham is just, uh, like, um, like the opposite end of like one of those alt-right guys. I mean,
Starting point is 00:25:14 it's like, you can be equal, but opposite. You're still just an asshole who's spouting your opinions. And you know, you know, what are most people? I think like the liberal point of view is a little more,
Starting point is 00:25:24 it's usually like a little more like good or right quote unquote uh but it's like no you're just that's just like your dumb ass opinion that you if you yell it loud enough you feel like you enacted change and and he the people you were talking about who like quote to them like it's so depressing to see him say this or whatever like you're exactly what he's talking about yes he's like dumb ass look in the mirror he. You have a difference of opinion about one thing. That doesn't mean I'm a bad person. You have a difference of opinion on this one topic. It's not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:25:50 And most of it's, yeah, if it's like life or death, if it's like, you know, we're talking about, you know, fucking, I don't know, something that's super, super, where literally is life and death, like, fine. That can be something where you're, like, at odds. But if we're talking about, like, a difference of political opinion and taxes and, like, shit like that, that it's like it definitely is a problem like i like i i follow a majority of people i follow are pretty liberal people i think i'm it's pretty obvious i'm
Starting point is 00:26:14 a pretty liberal person i think it's pretty known yeah and i don't think anyone likes a single president like i've seen i've seen them bitch about trump for three years now. I haven't seen anyone like a presidential candidate now because everyone has one problem with them. And then that one problem you latch onto and focus on. And it's like a whole thing. I can't possibly like them. They said this in 1976.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Or like, I can't possibly like them. This is their stance on tag. You're going to have to make a fucking choice. The retroactive shit is crazy. Imagine if it's just like, this guy's great, but like what are you talking like you're gonna have to make a fucking choice the retroactive shit is crazy imagine if it's just like this guy's great but like the halloween costume 30 years ago out out it's just like guys you're gonna you know it's like anything else in life like your partner is not going to be perfect and your job's gonna be perfect you're gonna have to like look the other way on some things i do you ever think about that how like i some of the thing about that is pat myself on the back. I got nothing. Nothing in your closet?
Starting point is 00:27:05 Yeah. I didn't dress up as a racist in 92. I'll tell you. I mean, I got something. But Halloween-wise, I am fucking a mint, bro. Fucking mint! I got no Halloween skeletons in my closet. But even stuff like that where it's just like things you could have tweeted before you worked at
Starting point is 00:27:26 Barstool. I don't have anything. Because I tell you what, people have definitely gone through. Well, you've just always been out there, too. I mean, right? Right. Like, ever since that era, you've just done it publicly. Yeah. Also, I'm just a good person. Well, right. But there's also something to living outwardly.
Starting point is 00:27:42 I mean, I think the ultimate example is the current president. Like, he's just been the ultimate example is the current president. Like, he's just been the way he is the whole time. So when you dig back and you find something, you're like, well, yeah. Yeah, obviously. I mean, that seems pretty well. Sand to the beach, man. Yeah. Oh, he didn't like the Central Park Five?
Starting point is 00:27:58 Makes sense. No fucking kidding. I just loved it from the other point of view of, like, this is, like, you know, your hero and savior, and even he will you know, you're a hero and savior. And even he will tell you that you're an asshole. Right. Thinking that you're special. The dead spin people,
Starting point is 00:28:08 that Laura wags tweet. Yes. I am making a list of everyone. Who's do you see that? No, she said something like, yes, Dave's tweet.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Dave was so goddamn fucking funny. Yeah. When he gets up, when he gets on this, like it's, it's, he's got his, he said he will publish all blogs that they're deleting.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Yes. That's so funny. And he would. And publish all blogs that they're deleting, that's fucking so funny. And he would. It's a real offer. Email it to me. I'll post it on Barstool Sports. He would pay that guy to be his butler, too. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Some of them should take up his offer. They were smart. They would do it and start writing. And write about, like, Bash Dave. We do it all the time. You're allowed to do it here. What's very funny is these people want to work for Barstool sports you want editorial freedom come on over come on down like you can talk about whatever you want the thing if dave actually saves deadspin if he gets it to be like
Starting point is 00:28:54 a great site because he just gets full control wouldn't put it past him because that would be the ultimate like fuck off lara wagner said laura wagner said yes i am care like the yes implying that like are people asking yes i am carefully noting every media person who has and hasn't expressed support for deadspin and its editorial independence shut the fuck up like you are not fucking like south africa and apartheid man you are not like running a revolution for freedom it's not the fucking you're not it's not the underground Railroad. You write for a dumbass sports blog. Okay?
Starting point is 00:29:29 You're not fucking Harriet Tubman, Laura Wagner. You're just a shitty blogger like the rest of us. You'll write some blogs, you'll die, and no one will remember you. It won't matter. It will not matter. The play of Deadspin will not be taught in journalism school because a
Starting point is 00:29:45 website that didn't fucking make money ended up getting sold for pennies on the dollar and then guess what they had to add ads to the site god forbid advertising you dumb fucking assholes yeah i've never it's it's it's just the best example i've ever seen of like you are children yeah you are little immature babies who don't understand business who don't understand money who don't understand rules and and standards and like paying your dues i hate to do it but it's it does feel like the millennial fucking narrative you know what i mean it's like you are a bunch of cry babies and like that fucking guy barry i guess he's been there i don't know that one i know tom he's been there for 10 years like was it worth dude? You just flushed 10 years down the drain?
Starting point is 00:30:25 Like, I do this all the time. I got fired for not sticking to sports. Shut up, dude. By the way. Shut up. Like, you've seen the turnover at your own company. Right. I do this all the time at Barstool Sports.
Starting point is 00:30:36 They tell me not to do something. I wait six months, and I do it. Barry, you'll have a new editor-in-chief and a new owner in six months because you've had three in the past year. And that guy probably will let you write about it. So shut the fuck up. Keep your paycheck and your job and write about non-sports in the summer. You dickhead. God.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Obama, like, he should have said at the end, like, dad's been talking about you. Like, God, fucking children. I would love to, like, I would love to fucking hear from, like, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner and be like, my daughter's so fucking stupid. You're fucking going to lose your job over this shit. You're a blogger. Just fucking blog. It's such an easy job. Nobody even really knows you in our stupid echo chamber.
Starting point is 00:31:17 You think, like, the world knows and cares? Nope. Deadspin? Fuck off. If you ain't breaking news about fake girlfriends or skinny dicks nobody gives a fuck about you yeah two two times in the history of deadspin have you been interesting go ahead lose your job over it let's talk about mitt romney what a fucking guy mitt romney is remember when he what he did something funny with a hot dog he said a hot dog was his
Starting point is 00:31:36 favorite meat or something like that remember that one no i'm gonna look it up real quick there's something about hot dogs and mitt romney that was just preposterous it was like again like these people are just not humans that's why like i liked obama being like that's just like an average guy being like these people are such assholes right uh most of them are just like you're not real mitt ironed a suit while i was on him once yeah mitt romney says his favorite meat is a hot dog that's not i mean that's not a thing that's like a i'm gonna be a common man like i'm a regular guy what's my favorite hot dog you don't have to say it's your favorite meat asked him about his favorite it wasn't it was national hot dog day and he was like eating a hot dog and he was just Did you see? Hot dogs. You don't have to say it's your favorite meat. Who asked him about his favorite meat?
Starting point is 00:32:05 It wasn't. It was National Hot Dog Day, and he was eating a hot dog, and he was just like, hi, guys. It's me, Mitt Romney. Hello, America. I love a good hot dog. It's my favorite meat. And you know that his publicist was filming. He was like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I've got the worst presidential candidate ever. Did you see when he got on his birthday, when he took off every candle individually and blew it out? Yeah. It's like, you're not like it's just not like human like you have you seen how humans act? Act like us.
Starting point is 00:32:29 But they have it. It's like he's been living in his fucking mansion with his, you know what I mean? It's like this is where the hillbillies are like you ain't one of us. You know?
Starting point is 00:32:37 It's like you're really not. You're a fucking you're a robot. The weirdest thing about Mitt Romney is that he was the governor of Massachusetts. Yeah, I had that.
Starting point is 00:32:42 He's from fucking Utah. He's a Mormon from Utah. How'd you guys elect him? We just elected fucking Utah. He's a Mormon from Utah. We just elected him governor. I believe he did a really great job, by the way. Good enough to be a presidential you can't be a shitty governor and become the president. I think he was pretty well liked by, obviously Massachusetts is a pretty blue state, I think he was
Starting point is 00:32:58 pretty well liked by everybody. Mitt. What a name. I could be totally wrong on that. What's his real name? Is it Mitchell? Or is it just like a fake, you know, it's a name like Steve and they call him Mitt. That seems like some weird white people shit, you know? Well, we'll call him Mitt. We're going to get into our Mitt Romney talk.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Willard. Well, yeah, I mean, of course. Yeah, of course Mitt Romney's name is Willard. If your name is Willard, you go by Mitt, you don't know how to act. Like, no wonder you're not president, dude. Mitt Romney talking college athletes is brought to you by Untuckit. Holidays are almost here, so that means you got to get gifts.
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Starting point is 00:34:39 I recommend going online because I'm lazy. But either way, promo code KFC. 20% off at Untuckit.com. Play this Mitt Romney clip. He's talking about college athletes who are finally, I guess, going to get paid. Well, I was pleased that the Board of Governors recognizes that we got a lot of athletes that come from very poor backgrounds that need some additional remuneration, in some cases to take care of their families, but to provide for themselves as well. So I'm glad they recognize that. But I hope they also recognize that this whole idea of using name, image, and likeness
Starting point is 00:35:07 as a way to compensate athletes could lead to some very unusual circumstances that need to be avoided. So there's some work that needs to be done. Clearly, the devil is going to be in the details here. But did you see this decision from the NCAA as a delaying action, or is it actually an embrace of a new model? Well, I think given the California legislation and the fact that the Board of Governors is saying, yeah, okay, we're open to this idea, that suggests that there's actually going to be some movement here. And if not, why, I think Congress will act to make some movement,
Starting point is 00:35:40 because I think we recognize it's just not fair to have these athletes giving the kind of time they give to their sport and not receiving any kind of compensation or remuneration, particularly at a time when they come from very, very poor families in many cases. But, look, what you can't have is a couple athletes on campus driving around in Ferraris while everybody else is basically having a hard time making ends meet. And you can't have a setting where some schools that are in major markets or have big sport followings, some schools are like the honeypot, and everybody, all the great athletes all want to go to those handful of schools. Then you kill collegiate sports. So there needs to be some adjustment. Those schools already exist.
Starting point is 00:36:17 It's already that way. Alabama, Clemson, Kentucky, Duke, those are the schools. They already exist. They already exist. Everybody already wants to go there. They already make the money. Those guys are already the famous ones. They already get the spo it already exists it already existed everybody already wants to go there they already make the money those guys are already the famous ones they already get the spoils it's it's already there you might as well it's like everything else when it comes to legalizing things because that's really what we're doing here it's like it's
Starting point is 00:36:34 legalizing something in a way which already exists you might as well regulate it and control it gambling is gonna happen you might as well make some money off it and do it the proper way people are already getting benefits they're already getting under the money under the table money they're already getting uh like the the fame off of it you might as well just harness it yeah it'd be like like oh that we i think his literal quote was we can't have some big sports schools that everyone wants to go to can't have like what are you talking about dude and aside from that the first part of what he said when he's like we can't have some kids in ferraris and some kids. Dude, Mitt Romney, have you been outside?
Starting point is 00:37:07 No. Some people drive Ferraris. Some people are struggling to be in me. That's what capitalism is. Willard is pretending to eat hot dogs in his fucking mansion. He hasn't been around. He doesn't know. He thinks everybody's fucking rich.
Starting point is 00:37:17 He thinks everybody's well off. It's so crazy that he said that with a straight face. Yeah. No, that's, I mean. I mean, Mitt Romney is a billionaire. Yeah. You can't have some people with lots of money and other people without. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Mitt. Come on, dude. Mitt Romney, you're literally describing America. Capitalism at its finest. This world as a whole. Everything we stand for is what you're describing. I don't know what to do, though. I mean, like, the, I like that they should be able to get paid.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I think that the day that you give game checks is when you... It's right and what should happen, but it's just going to ruin college sports. So what? Right. But that's the shitty byproduct. I am fine ruining college sports. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:54 I mean, I personally don't care. I don't watch enough college sports to really care. But it's just like... College sports, as you know, it will be over. It's what's right. Why? Because it will just become like... They'll probably'll probably have to have like a salary cap almost. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:08 And then it's just like, there's gonna be two professional leagues. The retweet I had about this was, I think, Jane McManus. And I don't follow her. I don't even know who she is, really. But she, I thought she had a very poignant point where she was like, if you are talking about ruining the purity of the game why don't you spend all day watching d2 and d3 it's because it's not purity you like it's a fucking talent right it's not like oh this is this is the way the game's supposed to be played no you like the fucking good players i just think that like there's a like i think of college as like a
Starting point is 00:38:38 a uh grand farm system and i think that when you do when you go down this road it's just gonna be like there are two professional leagues fine and one like like you're right it is a farm system and I think that when you do when you go down this road it's just gonna be like there are two professional leagues fine and one like like you're right it is a farm system yeah farm players get paid right I think I think that if they if it goes down the road of like because like minor league baseball you get paid but it's still like you have to make it to the show yeah you know I
Starting point is 00:38:58 think that the amount of money that we're talking but also minor league base like college football makes a lot more fucking money than college than right triple a baseball right so they're not it's not gonna be like I'm in the farm and I'm trying to make it But also minor league baseball, like college football makes a lot more fucking money than college than AAA baseball. Right. So they're not – it's not going to be like I'm in the farm and I'm trying to make it to the league. It's going to be like I already made it. And so you're just going to like play in college, get paid probably like similar amounts of money if you go to certain schools.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You play there for three years and then you go pro. But you've basically already been pro, which is all like – that's what is like probably constitutional and what is right. But it is just – that's what is like probably constitutional and what is right but it is just it's very different so if you like the whatever shred of like amateurism is left you like bowl games and you like the idea that these are college kids and they're you know there there's a difference between colleges and ball games like who likes college football at all college football sucks but like it's gonna be over for them i i don't i don't play off i think people like i think it was all about watching all the different games are like... It's going to be over for them. I don't think so. I think people love bowl games. It's all about watching all the different games. And they didn't really have a champion.
Starting point is 00:39:49 They just voted on the champion at the end. But I think now that they have the playoff, all those other bowls are silly. Obviously there are some good bowl games, but 90% of bowl games are silly. But I also think that people will get mad about it. And then they'll realize that nothing changed. I't think it'll change but i think it'll just like
Starting point is 00:40:08 why will it change i i think that like if like like you derive your pleasure from knowing that like that person doesn't make money on the field like who cares if they get paid or not yeah i i think what will change is the idea that like going pro is like a big deal like draft day doesn't mean shit it's just like you're basically i don't know because i don't think they're gonna make i think they'll make a couple of bucks i don't i don't think it's not gonna be like not like millions but i think it's enough that it won't be like i think it just changed there's like a weird implication of of taking like a 17 year old guy who was great in high school cutting the check cutting a big check there and then having that guy and like not pan out it just changes that's what happens with 21 year olds
Starting point is 00:40:44 yeah yeah it happens when you're like an after graduation but like that's like anything else and then having that guy not pan out, it just changes. That's what happens with 21-year-olds. Yeah. It happens when you're after graduation. But that's like anything else. It's like the implication of changing how many characters on Twitter. It's like, no, it's supposed to be about brevity. We can't do this. And then you're just like, okay, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:40:57 It's like, this is supposed to be amateur. It's supposed to be about the kids, and they're in college, and then they go pro. The idea of amateurism as a whole is just so fucking stupid. Amateurism, the idea of college sports have to be amateurs, that was decided when Princeton and Harvard were playing and six people were sitting on lawn chairs watching. Now they're playing in front of 100,000 people and it's a multi-billion dollar a year industry.
Starting point is 00:41:16 The people driving it should get some fucking money. You're basically a professional. Millions are riding on you. That's you. But I mean, it's not like it's going to die, but I just think it will have to change because I think it'll actually even the playing field somewhat because I do think they'll have to be some sort of like cap.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Yeah, probably. If it's like, hey, come to Alabama. We can give you like $100,000 and other schools can give you like $60,000. It's just like everybody's going to go where you can get the most money. Well, yeah, but that's already happening as is. But I think when you when that's the thing with – like I said, this is legalizing it. It's now like regulated where it's going to be like, okay, we know everyone's been paying under the table. Alabama has the most boosters, so they get the most people because they pay the most money.
Starting point is 00:41:55 They have the nicest stadium. Like everyone is still offering something. It's just – Pretty even though. Make it available to the players. Like in Alabama – LSU just built like a $62 million locker room. Just give someone the fucking money to get the kids 62 million dollar locker room now but what if that
Starting point is 00:42:06 like is stop what if it's just like you have boosters that are willing to pay i mean these guys are willing to pay everything to get the new running back right but i think there's a 75 grand and it's like well i don't need to go to alabama i'll just stay home you know what i mean but i think that that there's been that artificial cap because you don't want to get noticed right like the boosters could pay but they had to keep it under the table. If those kids are driving around in Ferraris, that calls a lot of attention, so they couldn't get them a Ferrari.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Now, what's to say that it's $100,000? What's to say that a quarterback can't get a $5 million deal? A 17-year-old coming out of high school with a $5 million deal. If there's no regulation over it? Trevor Lawrence. Trevor Lawrence would be getting pro money. People are already talking about being the number one pick
Starting point is 00:42:49 after he had one good freshman season. If it was up to the fucking hillbilly boosters who have all the money, they're like, give it all to him. Because they're going to think of it as like, this is our pro. This is our league. Right. I think it changes in that it makes it a little bit more like the NFL where you're going to be talked about if you just got a big deal.
Starting point is 00:43:07 If you're just the number one recruit and you go there and you're the quarterback that's supposed to change the tide, but then you just don't, it's just like, well, all right, we thought that he was going to be a hit, but he's not. This guy's now got a $10 million contract? I mean, college athletes are already in a lot of trouble anyway. What do you mean? I think we in the North don't think, like, it's a big deal.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Like, yeah, that guy didn't pan out. Down South. Yeah. Say you were supposed to be the guy to turn around Tennessee, and you didn't. You don't ever stop hearing about that. But I think if you did – I don't think you hear about it, but if you're cashing a big check, I think that's a big difference. If you were, like, the guy who was supposed to turn around the program, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:43:44 But if you walk away with $15 million of that program's dollars, I think it's different than just being a – I don't think it would matter to like crazy fans. I think they don't care whether you're not paid. They don't care whether you make money. I mean I just think that like there is something to like the allure of college football I think people like. Like down to like the school bands and the student section and stuff. And I think when you i don't know why is all why does that change that i think it will i just think it will i think like when you
Starting point is 00:44:09 when you formalize it i think it'll become much more like pro than it is i don't think so i mean i think it's like it's like they almost remind me of soccer teams soccer teams are professionals they have their songs and they have their bands and stuff like that and it's like okay this this is our team song and also our athletes make money. Yeah, I just wonder if you'll have the same school pride if it's like, I guess so. I guess it's like rooting for a pro team. It's like where your hometown is.
Starting point is 00:44:33 I go to school here. It doesn't matter if they're getting paid or not. Yeah, I mean, I think if paying college athletes would ruin college football for you or college sports for you, I think you have some problems. I think you're like, I don't want these kids to make money. You want to see them suffer.
Starting point is 00:44:48 I never think I'm never watching any sport at all. I'm like, this guy makes X amount of dollars. Why can't he pass the puck? You watch the game. You enjoy the talent. Yeah, maybe on Tuesday you bitch about it. But like, you're never in the moment. It doesn't affect you at all.
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Starting point is 00:46:34 Right now, from your couch, from home, with online courses. Go to ashford.edu slash KFC. Start your degree today. Let's get into these voicemails. And then we got Rhett and Link and Jason Nash. Two guys, Rhett and Link and Jason Nash. YouTube sensations, vlogger extraordinaires, big-time views on YouTube, and book writers and commercial creators, the whole nine.
Starting point is 00:46:58 So a couple very creative media studs on later in the show. But first, let's get into these voicemails. Hey, guys, KFC, Fikes, Super Saiyan BC. With Halloween coming up, I figured that we'd rehash an old KFC radio question. I believe back in the day
Starting point is 00:47:16 there was a Barstool Frankenstein where you guys made up the worst qualities in every Barstool personality and made it into one body. That was back in the day when you guys had like 15 people. Now you guys have like 100 people. How would you make the new Barstool Frankenstein? You can make him like a huge ogre, like the size of large with, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:35 Glenny's chin or something like that. Or you can make him like a small za with like Riggs's eyes that sounds like, I don't know, Marty Mush. You can do whatever you want. All right. Anyway, I already, I'm already cooking here.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Hey, okay. Explain to me the barstool Frankenstein. Right. We're taking, we did this many years ago, but there was only like five of us. Oh,
Starting point is 00:47:55 so we're just doing it. So it was like El Prez's nose. It was like, you know, we just had my hands. Yeah. So we'll do that. El Prez's nose,
Starting point is 00:48:01 John's hands, chaps face. Come on. Come on. i think chaps looks handsome i think chaps looks great john i think chaps looks nice maintain your credibility think about the future maintain your credibility i think uncle chaps looks great he's my best friend he's so funny and handsome okay so okay not chaps's face um i think you'd have to go with like large's body but zaz like limbs like a big white body with like tiny black and black legs and arms a great answer uh glennie's hairline yeah glennie's got
Starting point is 00:48:41 that weird hairline where it's like almost like a dracula chewed up yeah he's got like a widow's peak but there's also like a couple like divots in it almost it feels like he's got like like somebody chewed his hair uh riggs's eyes like whether or not those are really fixed i don't know you know what do you mean like certain pictures certain people say like it's gone yeah there are sometimes it's like that's you know if you're gonna mess well i guess we could do chef's eyes we know those ones are fucked up could do like uh something something on vibs like something small from vibs penis probably he's probably got a thin dick vibs probably has a thin dick this dick is probably as thin as a fucking eight and a half by eleven i mean he looks like your guy jordy so this is dick he doesn't like jordy yeah jordio Nino. Yeah, he's got a razor thin dick.
Starting point is 00:49:27 We gotta put someone's boobs on it. I'm scared to say anyone, but... A female's breasts. Glennie's breasts. We'll take Glennie's tits. You put that all together and you... You give them my sense of fidelity and you're good to go. There you got a monster.
Starting point is 00:49:47 We've created a monster. What a fucking answer, Kevin. Next voicemail. That was really well done. What's up, boys? Hypothetical for you guys. So in an alternate universe, your body has to sleep for 12 hours a day,
Starting point is 00:50:04 but you get a choice. You can either be awake while the sun's to sleep for 12 hours a day but you get a choice you can either be awake while the sun's up for those 12 hours or in a sleep while the sun's down the whole time or vice versa let me know what you guys think that's a good question would you rather be nocturnal or it's a super easy question you want to be nocturnal yeah yeah yeah stay nocturnal yeah it's it's people who aren't nocturnal but i mean to be fully by the way fully nocturnal. Yeah. It's people who aren't nocturnal. But I mean, to be fully, by the way, fully nocturnal is a little weird, but you do get fucked up when that happens. But it's still perfect.
Starting point is 00:50:33 I know, but it's not like you used to work the night shifts and you just get fucked up. It's just like your body is just not like programmed to do that. And especially when the rest of the world around you is not doing it. You just get fucked up. Yeah. I mean, Kevin, like a pretty fucked up ballgame. Yeah, that's true. It's probably because you're basically nocturnal.
Starting point is 00:50:49 But like if you're not nocturnal, you don't even get what I'm saying. Yeah. But like it's so peaceful and just like you're alone. Well, we always say like the 3 a.m. hour is when like there's no games on. There's nothing to tweet. There's nothing to do. It's just silence. But in this hypothetical, would you have to work then too?
Starting point is 00:51:09 Yeah, so that's weird. Working at night is the worst. Just being awake at night, not bad. But if all you have is 12 hours and you have to work eight of them, I can't. That's terrible. That's why I do most of my work anyway. Like my ideas all come at night. No, but going to work is. No, is no yeah yeah going to the office is different so when you pick the daytime you guys you get you get the two
Starting point is 00:51:30 birds one stone it's like work hours no it's the same thing either way you're working for eight of the 12 hours you're asleep yes right awake so either way that that's that's that's the situation either way it's not great but the oh i just can't even describe the peace you feel at night. I don't get morning people. Shut up. You suck. People work out in the morning? People work out in the morning?
Starting point is 00:51:53 The worst thing about morning people is how they love to tell you that they're morning people. How often do you see it on Twitter? It's like, if you're up early, I'm going to tweet so I let people know that I'm up. I get people who are just like, you're just getting in the office now? Yeah, I got a different job than you. I'm going to tweet you at 11pm tonight. What are you, home in bed?
Starting point is 00:52:14 It's just the other side of things, you dickhead. I don't work a shit job. Someone tweeted me recently, like, geez fights, just so you're strolling down 3rd Avenue, taking your time for it being 10.30 in the morning. Yeah. tweeted me recently like Jesus fights just so you're strolling down 3rd Avenue like taking time for being 1030 in the morning yeah I didn't I don't need to be I didn't have
Starting point is 00:52:30 shit to do until 3 p.m. so actually early I was getting there wicked early off but like also people who like like day people or morning people which I consider the same they'll be like they love bragging about it.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Like a vampire, like Daywalker. Yeah. But they're always like, they always love bragging about it. It fucking blows my mind. It's just like, the number of hours you're awake
Starting point is 00:52:52 doesn't, what is that, like the online meme? Like, it's not a personality, dude. Being up early is not a personality trait. My dad does it the most.
Starting point is 00:53:00 My dad's like, I'll wake up when I'm staying at home. I'll get up at like 10, 10, 30, 11. He'd be like, I was up at 6 o'clock this morning. I don't fucking care, Dad.
Starting point is 00:53:07 All right. And then guess what? You're going to nap at 1 p.m. Yeah, right. You're going to run out of gas. You're not going to be going strong. I'm going to be here until 3 a.m. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Fucking catch me. It's a marathon, man. I feel like I'm going to pick the daytime just to kind of be normal. Because I don't want to have to get lumped in with the night weirdos like you the night the night where's we're a special breed yeah yeah special breed the next way i'm putting it fucking weirdos next up what up kfc fights super producer bc uh first time long time uh just got a would you rather uh it's a little bit fucked up but you know whatever uh okay so would you rather have your dog for, I don't know, 14, 15 years, whatever dogs usually live for. Uh, but when it dies,
Starting point is 00:53:53 you have to eat it or would you just never have your dog at all? So you lose all of the memories and all the good times when you were growing up with the dog that never happened, all that, you know, happiness and whatnot and whatnot, or would you rather eat the dog after he had a great life? So see what you guys think. This is a no-brainer. Let me know. This is an absolute no-brainer. Never have a dog.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Never have a dog. Okay, yeah. Absolutely. Not even fucking close. No fucking brainer. I've had many years without a dog that's like, you can get by that. You eat your own fucking pet dog, you're scarred for life. You're fucked.
Starting point is 00:54:27 You're a fucking lunatic. I mean, like, with a knife and fork? What are we talking about? Do you put it on a spit roast and cook it up? Yeah. Do you prepare it? No, I mean, you cut it up. You have to, like, cut it up.
Starting point is 00:54:39 No way. And then cook, like, a leg or a tit. Tit? Breast. That's what most people eat on animals. I know. Chicken breasts. Dogs have breasts?
Starting point is 00:54:50 I mean, they got things that fucking have milk ducts in them. I don't know what you call it. But that's not really what the meat of a breast is, right? Breast is just like your chest muscle, right? I think so. No, it's chest fat. You're not actually eating a titty, right? No, because muscles are tough.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Chicken, like when you eat a chicken breast, you're eating chicken fat? No, you're eating chicken meat. Yeah, you're right. Either way, I'm not eating a dog. No way. Absolutely. If I had to eat my dog, I would just immediately commit suicide. I feel like if we put this out on Twitter, it'll be a 100% poll.
Starting point is 00:55:20 It'll be the first one ever. I don't think people are doing this. I don't think anyone is. Even if you would, you're not going to admit it yeah people are afraid to admit anything weird about dogs you know they'd be like you got canceled right the if you're that's actually one of the funniest uh bits in always sunny in that episode with the the wolf cola when dennis doesn't like dogs yes but like that's what's causing them to get canceled so he's like he's like yeah no i just i don't like random animals just l But like, that's what's causing them to get canceled. So he's like, he's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:55:45 no, I just, I don't like random animals. Just licking me. Yeah. Like he's presenting sound arguments. Yeah. You're right.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Like, yeah, it's, that's disgusting. Yeah. I don't want like your asshole all over my fucking couch. That's pretty fair. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:57 But no, you're the weirdo. Uh, one more voicemail. Last voicemail of the day is brought to you by movement. Movement is the greatest underdog success story in the world. Right now, tonight, do you think the Nationals are going to win? By the time you listen to this, we'll have a World Series champion.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Do you think it's going to be the Nationals? They're a pretty big underdog if they pull this off. I think, yes, they will pull it off. I mean, Scherzer's on the mound. I mean, Scherzer's on the mound. Scherzer versus Granke. But Scherzer's like, if his back is not good, he might be a problem.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Because then all of a sudden you've got to go to your bullpen in the second inning. So I told Jared, I'm not making a prediction until the first inning tonight. Let me see what Mad Max is looking like. And then I can tell you, which I know is cheap. But either way, the Nats are in a prime position to be one of the biggest underdogs ever.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Just like Movement. Movement was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank. And it sounds like that's a company that's like, yeah, that's a good idea, but how can you make this practical and how can you make it? Well, 2 million watches later, they're one of the best underdog success stories ever. They bring quality designs at fair prices. We've been wearing these watches for years now.
Starting point is 00:56:56 The black-on-black metal watches, the leather bands, the white frames, the different colors, styles, sizes, men's, women's. They got all the watches under the sun for you available starting at just $95. Nothing more than like $130, I think, for the high-quality ones. They should cost $400 or $500. Everybody else, every other company would jack the price up. Not our guys. Not our guys at Movement.
Starting point is 00:57:22 We've been with them since day one. And 2 million watches, 160 countries later. The proof is in the pudding. Go get yourself a Movement watch. They got the sunglasses, too. They got the regular glasses. They got all the accessories to make you look sharp. Go to MVMT.com slash KFC.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Join the Movement today. You get 15% off when you go to MVMT.com slash KFC. Free shipping, free returns at MVvmt.com slash kfc hey kc fight bc so i was having a conversation with my friend the other day and i asked him i was like do you know how like what do you think about when women masturbate like how do you think they do it and he was, pretty much the typical scenes. It's like you see in movies, like, in the sheets late at night by yourself or in the bathtub.
Starting point is 00:58:14 I would argue that women do it just the same way as men do. I will literally sit on my couch for, like, six hours on a Saturday and just, like, blow through Netflix and just masturbate literally all day. And I just was wondering what you guys think that women do when they masturbate. Like, what is the scene you imagine? Yeah, let me know. Let's look up this girl's phone number.
Starting point is 00:58:38 I'll tell you what the scene I imagine is. I'll tell you what the scene's going to be for me later. It's going to be me listening to this voicemail on my couch. I mean, what the hell was that? By the way, that's not how... It's not possible for us the same way. To sit on the couch and just blast off, there's a mess
Starting point is 00:58:55 for us. There's reload time. There's probably kind of a ceiling. I feel like that's not how it's going to be. I don't have a ceiling. Really? No. What's the highest you've gone recently? I don't know. Ten? In a day?
Starting point is 00:59:13 No. I've definitely macerated ten times in a day. Recently? Relatively recently? Relatively. Like, not 18 years old? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:21 No, no, no. Ten? It wasn't, like, the last year. Yeah. By the way, next Wednesday is the anniversary of the 6-12-18-24 challenge episode. Not when Dave did it. I don't know when that was, but the episode that we released in 2015. Next Wednesday.
Starting point is 00:59:37 So you could do that, by the way, because I used to say the biggest problem is actually the jerking off. I'll do 24 as a fucking jerk off one. Dude, I'm so good at coming. is actually the jerking off. I'll do 24 as a fucking jerk-off one. 10? Dude, I'm so good at coming that I don't ever bring it up because I feel like it's like... I'm embarrassed by how good I am. You're bragging like you're rubbing it in?
Starting point is 00:59:56 I could jerk off three times before this episode ends. On your 10th jerk-off, are you cumming cum? Not really, no. Yeah, it's more like uh it's just flexing yeah yeah yeah it's just like it kind of just drips out are you sure you're coming like you're sure you're like you're doing this to completion i you know i might not know how to organize yeah
Starting point is 01:00:15 i don't think you know what that might be the issue it might not be like i'm good at coming girls it's like you've had an orgasm right and girls like yeah it's like, you've had an orgasm, right? And the girl's like, yeah. It's like, nah, you would know. Like, you should know when you cum, John. I probably do. If you have to say probably, you're not. John doesn't know how to cum. I don't think I know how to cum. John doesn't know how to cum. I mean, like, look.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Look, I have ejaculated semen. That's for sure. Ten times. Yeah, well, usually like the eight. And then two times it's empty. Eight? I unload the clip, and then that's it. That's just a sheer amount of time.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Is this like 24 hours? Brennan, this is probably before I got out of bed. Yeah, I was going to say, he probably does that before noon. Yeah. This is easy. Doesn't your dick hurt? This shit's fucking easy for me. When you're established, you wake up at 11.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Yeah, just hammer it out. Dude, if I jerk off too much, my dick gets swollen. Swollen? Yeah. In the middle of it. It gets like a red rocket a little bit. But it doesn't get really swollen. I mean, I think of girls.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Look, I don't think I'm doing anything this weekend. Keep count. I'll keep count. I think that most girls are pretty horny, too, and they'll just fucking... Yeah, well, I don't know. By the way, I just think you fuck yourself wherever you get horny. I didn't picture you with candles and stuff. There's also such a difference between girls fucking themselves versus...
Starting point is 01:01:39 If you just rub your clit real quick, you can cum 35 times a day in the car, at work. You can probably just walk around your office coming and no one will even know that to me is like the you know i guess that's what she's saying in the sense that they guys think of it as like a romantic thing i think sometimes they're just like pow pow pow pow i think of it i think how she thinks yeah i think of it exactly how you do it exactly how you do it i think that guys who still think it's like yeah set the candles i do wonder if ever, like, use dildos at their ass, like regular girls. Like, not point. Define regular.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Not girls on, like, a cam show. Like, are you, like, masturbating tonight, and you're just like, I'm just fucking my ass tonight? Like, there are some who do that. Really? Yeah. I don't think so. There are some who do that. I think there are some girls who like butt stuff to the point they would do it to themselves.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Let us know. Tweet us. Send pictures. Let's get into these interviews. Rhett and Link are two guys. You know, we're not too much. The world's not too much up in the YouTube world. But these guys, they've got a bomb-ass YouTube channel.
Starting point is 01:02:44 They've written some of the most viral commercials you've ever seen. They got a new book out. They are, they got their own media company. They're just big-time comedic duo. Really cool guys. Really, really enjoyed this interview. They're basically what I would aspire to be, me and John, and will just probably never be. Nah.
Starting point is 01:03:01 We say fuck too much. Can't. Let's get into this interview. What did we miss? What'd you miss? there'll probably never be. No. We say fuck too much. Can't. Let's get into this interview. What did we miss? What'd you miss? Yeah. Fucking, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Everything. Not much. A lot of good stuff. How's it going? You guys doing a lot of press? Yeah, this is the first thing of the day, though, so that's good. Oh, nice. Oh, really? All right, we got you fresh.
Starting point is 01:03:22 I like that. Yeah, we drove in from Boston late last night. We don't need the headphones if you don't want them. Yeah, you don't. It's up to you guys. Okay. That's good. We good over there?
Starting point is 01:03:32 How rich are you guys? You guys have the richest hair ever. You got rich people hair. Yeah. Okay. You got the flow. You got the fresh compliment. I'm so rich, my hair is rich.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Yeah. Fucking rich hair, man. Okay, I'm so rich, my hair is rich. Yeah. Fucking rich hair, man. Okay, I'm hair rich. It's very much the first thing that people notice around here. Yeah. Really? It's a big-time hair company. People are like, where do you get your hair cut?
Starting point is 01:03:56 What do you do with your hair? People get very competitive over it. It's a whole today. I want to be clear. I have hair. I just like hats, too. Okay. That's pretty wealthy hair.
Starting point is 01:04:04 Oh, thank you. Not even a wealthy hair. I just like hats, too. Okay. That's pretty wealthy hair. Oh, thank you. Not even a wealthy hair. Rich, you basically did nothing to it. It was just like you kind of stood up. You stood to attention when you took your hat off. Yeah, do that again. What's up? I like the way you said that, too.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Do that again. Our boss, who's like the founder of this whole joint, got hair plugs a while back. All right. He was getting like an increasingly bad bald spot. That was getting, people would like see him walking on the streets from like their office and they would like zoom in
Starting point is 01:04:30 and it looked like he had like a yarmulke on his head. So that was a big thing. It's been pretty much ever since then. It's been all like, who has your hair? Who's your hair? So congratulations, fellas. You know, it's not the book.
Starting point is 01:04:41 It's not the commercials. It's not the YouTube. It's not the money and the creativity. All that. Nope. The hair. It's all that matters. The's not the commercials. It's not the YouTube. It's not the money and the creativity. All that. Nope. The hair. It's all that matters. The hair makes the man.
Starting point is 01:04:49 But yeah, I'm looking at the book right now. It's wild to see how much the world is now a place where you don't just do one thing. And you can do it all and do it at the highest level to a real, actual, published book. So very versatile. I feel like you guys are kind of embodying how the industry works to a real, actual, published book. So, very versatile. I feel like you guys are kind of embodying how the industry works now. Well, thank you. I mean, it's one thing, you know, just because you can make
Starting point is 01:05:13 a video in your bedroom doesn't really give you the right to write a book, even though a lot of people seem to think that's the case. But, you know, we're really proud of it, and we do,we didn't just kind of crap this thing out. This is like a two-year labor of love. It's very much about kind of playing into our lives growing up.
Starting point is 01:05:36 You know, it takes place in 1992, which is the year we were getting ready to go into ninth grade, going into high school in a small southern town in North Carolina. Yeah, Rex and Leaf, right? No relation to Red and Leaf. Leaf's wearing his hyper-color t-shirt. I don't know, you guys remember that? I don't know. You're a little younger for that.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Yeah, we're right on the cusp of it. I know what you're talking about. We weren't living that. Oh, you missed the hyper-color era. What is hyper-color? It's a shirt you can breathe on. Well, it's a heat-sensitive shirt. It's cool.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Oh, Rag & Bone just made one of those. They're cool. I had the gloves that had an alpine skier on it that would change in the snow, but I didn't have a hyper-color shirt. It's funny because it was so hot for probably six months. I'm talking it was popular to get this shirt,
Starting point is 01:06:21 but then it was also so hot. It's one thing to have pit stains. It's another thing to be like, oh, it's a hyper-color pit stain. So I don't think it lasted that long for that reason. It draws attention to the areas that you're trying to not draw attention to. It's basically an invitation for anyone to blow on your torso, which I don't know if you're into that. Listen, it's half the battle getting people to blow you.
Starting point is 01:06:44 So we're channeling that energy into the novels, like the things that we remembered. See, it's interesting you say that because I feel like we, more so like not a fictional story, but people always said we could write a book and tell this story about Barstool and our careers and our lives. And I feel like I just forget everything. It's like there's so much good shit that I'm like,
Starting point is 01:07:04 all right, remember that. We'll talk about that like one day. I remember nothing of it. Yeah, for you guys to be pulling things from what you were doing in 92. It helps when there's two of you, right? So if you're constantly like, remember that time? And then you kind of tell the story.
Starting point is 01:07:18 And so we kind of have this memory bank. If you're kind of on your own, if you stay really close friends with somebody that we've known each other since we were six years old. Yeah, you guys are weird. That's crazy. That's right. How are you still friends? We've been like, what, seven years? Eight years? I'm done. Yeah, well, it's
Starting point is 01:07:34 a business arrangement. Well, I love, so you guys met in, what, you said first grade? Yeah. And then you roomed together in college. Yeah. And now you're doing this together. And I love, I just read this back bit here. It says, like, da-da-da-da like tells their kind of their whole story and then it says they share an office at mythical entertainment the company they co-founded but live separately with their respective wives children and dogs just to let you know we do we do go home alone at some point
Starting point is 01:07:57 live separately i mean it's we're like a mile apart but it is you guys have like the like a milk carton with the string like walkieie-talkies in bed, you know? You still up? Yeah, it's a little uphill to your house. I think your son decided to... Locke and I rode our bikes to your house once. And halfway, he was like, Dad, I'm going to push it. I was like, you can't push it, son!
Starting point is 01:08:23 Push the bike up the hill? McLaughlin's don't push you ride McLaughlin's pedal so you yeah cause it was downhill all the way to my house
Starting point is 01:08:31 you were happy when you got to my house I would've pedaled this is the difference between my relationship with my son and my relationship with my dad
Starting point is 01:08:37 if my dad told me that McLaughlin's don't push they pedal I would've pedaled my son was like I'm still pushing it didn't work we're changing
Starting point is 01:08:44 we're changing course, Dad. Yeah, right. McLaughlin's are different now. I'm like, okay. It's 2019. The next generation says we push. Yeah, right. And I told my son, I was like, hey, let's ride our bikes to Rhett and Locke's house.
Starting point is 01:08:56 And he was like, nah. And you can coast almost the whole way. Back. We have the right direction. Push it hard going and then coast back. How old are your kids? My oldest is 15.
Starting point is 01:09:11 15? Yeah, my oldest is 16. I feel like that's gotta be a cool... I don't know. I feel like they're probably pretty... It's pretty cool to have your dads like this.
Starting point is 01:09:19 You know what I mean? Yeah, my dad's in insurance. He didn't really get the ladies when I was in high school. But you gotta think. He didn't really get the ladies when I was in high school. But you got to think. He didn't have hair like you guys. My dad's bald. But also, think about if you're 14, you're a freshman in high school,
Starting point is 01:09:35 and you roll into the lunch and people come up to you and you're like, hey, isn't your dad that dude on YouTube that eats goat testicles? It's like, I don't know. Yeah, you guys will eat pretty much fucking anything. I think, you know, my two kids play it a different way. Cause my older son is like,
Starting point is 01:09:52 I don't want people to make the association, but my younger son, like he went, he started a new school in like the first day. Uh, when the kids was like, isn't your dad a YouTuber? He was like,
Starting point is 01:10:00 yeah, he's a YouTuber. You can play it both ways though. But I guess as he gets a little bit older he might become a little more self-conscious oh I'd be riding the coattails
Starting point is 01:10:08 is that something where you said like kind of YouTuber you said it like almost like it has I think there was a time when it had like connotation to it
Starting point is 01:10:15 yeah like a bigger connotation to it we used to talk about it all the time we've been doing this for 10 years and like I used to say the most difficult part of my job is explaining what I do
Starting point is 01:10:23 without saying podcaster or blogger. Because it would be like my parents would be like, no, you're not dating my daughter. You're a blogger. Get the hell out of here. Did you guys ever have that weird feeling about it? Definitely. We still do.
Starting point is 01:10:36 It depends on who's asking the question, how you answer it. In fact, you were recently in an Uber. Yeah. What did you tell the guy? I'm not prepped up on my lies, but he was talking to my cousin forever. And I was like, good, he's not going to talk to me. And then he sunk his Uber conversational teeth into me deep. He was like, what about you?
Starting point is 01:10:57 What do you do? And I'm like, I'm a video producer. And he was like, oh, what type of videos? And I'm like, corporate videos. I was like, what's the... You didn't lie. Listen, it's true. Like, Google's a corporation.
Starting point is 01:11:12 They own YouTube. I make videos. You stopped the conversation. Bam. No one wants to talk about corporate videos, dude. You're one of the most boring men alive. It's funny. I did a Patriots game once.
Starting point is 01:11:23 They were tailgating, and a couple people would come and take a picture or whatever, and then these moms who were right next to us were like, what are you doing? Why are people taking pictures of you? Yeah. And I had a few beers, but I was just like, I make videos on the internet. Yeah. And they were like, okay, and walked away.
Starting point is 01:11:39 And all my friends were like, they think you're a porn star, dude. You make a video on the internet that you can't say what it is? Yeah. I never thought about that because I've answered that question exactly the same way many times. Usually when that happens, when there's two people, usually it's like, okay, there'll be like a teenage son or daughter, and then they recognize this and they want a picture and the parents are like, what are you guys? Who are you guys?
Starting point is 01:12:00 What do you do? And I just say, ask them. Don't you need something to talk to your kid about yeah have a conversation with your child leave us out of it there's nothing worse than having to like explain to people why you're famous but not to them you know you know what the worst is for me we've been doing a couple live shows at comedy clubs and uh there's been you know somebody brings their boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn't quite know who we are but they're there for fun and you know let's say the boyfriend wants a
Starting point is 01:12:28 picture and take a picture and then i'm i turned to her i'm like do you want one too and they're like no i thought i was being polite i guess i assumed you couldn't have just said fucking yes take the picture and not make me feel like a jerk you can delete it right away right away you don't even have to push the button you can make it i don't care don't make me feel like a jerk? You can delete it right away. Right away! You don't even have to push the button. You can fake it. I don't care. Just don't make me feel like a jerk. It's even worse if that's after the show.
Starting point is 01:12:50 You gave him all you got. You didn't feel any value at all. It's always after the show. Exclusively after the show. Terrible. I went and over-interpreted, guys, but that doesn't sound good. We got to workshop our show a little bit here. So you met in first grade i got a couple buddies who i'm still friends with from
Starting point is 01:13:09 first grade but um to like to have your career yeah pan out the way it is it's gotta be almost like a dream come true in a way yeah it's like you don't have to worry about any other professional partners or bullshit it's just like you guys have been working seamlessly for however many decades now. Yeah, it's wild. I mean, we're doing a tour associated with promoting Lost Causes of Bleak Creek, and we tell all the stories from our own childhood that made its way into the book. So there's lots of scenes, including one where there's two rocks,
Starting point is 01:13:43 and Rex and Leaf, the two characters, they have this system to where if they're on the big rock, they can talk about anything they want, and the person on the small rock can only ask questions. And then they can switch, and the other person gets to be the inquisitor, and the other person gets to be on the soapbox, so to speak. And that's something that we actually did as kids.
Starting point is 01:14:04 So it's like you know we're very weird I like it a lot it looks weird but it's awesome we should maybe have like one mic is the big rock and one mic is the little rock and you can only say certain things on the pod and it was at that location we actually
Starting point is 01:14:19 we did a blood oath where we promised to create something together. Very ambiguous. And we didn't know what it was. Keep it very open. It could have been a pie. It could have been anything.
Starting point is 01:14:31 We're 36. We have to make something together, an apple pie. Yeah, but so on tour, we were actually premiering a documentary where we went back to our hometown of Buies Creek. It might sound similar to Bleak Creek. I don't know why. We found the rocks. We found the rocks. We found the rocks.
Starting point is 01:14:46 We trespassed. We did a whole documentary about finding those things that mattered to us. So that's part of the show. It's going to be here in town, and we're taking it around. Very cool. I mean, it's cool when it's – I'm sure there's a lot of creativity that goes into it too, but when it's just like your life that you lived. Do you ever feel like it's, I'm still
Starting point is 01:15:05 very surprised when people just want to know about us. I'm like, I don't know, it's not that interesting. But like, it seems like you guys have stories to tell and it's all compelling stuff that's just like from your real life. Yeah, we didn't know that that was going to be the case, right? Because when we started, you know,
Starting point is 01:15:22 we started, you know, 2006 is when we started uploading videos on YouTube. And it was very much like, okay, we're trying to. That's like when YouTube started. Were you the first video? Yeah, we were the first. It's you and the leprechaun in Alabama. We were like six months into the platform, I think.
Starting point is 01:15:39 That's crazy. But we were doing things where the whole idea was like we wanted you to like what we created, right? It wasn't about liking us. But then all these people started. So it was sketches, music videos. Right. But it wasn't like vlogs or anything story-based really. But then we started noticing all these people were doing stuff where they were like, okay, I'm doing a daily vlog.
Starting point is 01:15:58 I'm like opening up about my life. You're just watching me live life. And everyone was captivated by that. We didn't want to really open up our lives. We were already married with kids at the time. And it was like, okay, I don't want to do this. Like, follow me around my house and my life. Because I'm not even good at social media to begin with.
Starting point is 01:16:14 But that was what started Good Mythical Morning. It was like, let's just have a conversation. Like, the conversation that we're having on the way in to work together, let's just stop that conversation as soon as we realize we've got something good to talk about and do it on the internet. And then it was very experimental at first, but like you said, it's like people started connecting
Starting point is 01:16:31 with our friendship. They just wanted to see a friendship sort of lived out on the internet. And so we've leaned into that a lot. So that works, right? That's what became Good Mythical Morning. And it transitioned from just talking about things to eating lots. Yeah, I was going to say, you guys just eat and taste test.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Once you run out of things to talk about, you start eating things. And we may run out of things to eat at this rate. You know what? Just go eat the rocks. That's right. Go full circle. Hey, if it gets the clicks, man, we'll do it. You know what?
Starting point is 01:17:01 Amen to that. I mean, especially I feel like once you you know you've proven you're funny and creative and smart but you got you got your live set
Starting point is 01:17:09 and it's just whatever gets the clicks let's go give the people what they want you want to see us eat weird shit let's do it and then you balance it with okay this novel's
Starting point is 01:17:17 like Rhett said it's something we really poured ourselves into and how do you find time to do that I mean writing a book is no joke we stretch it out
Starting point is 01:17:23 everything else you're doing it's been almost two years of us working on it. So would you block off time and just, you know, I'm going to go sit there. How's being an adult work? It ended up time management and accomplishing things. It's a challenge. It was a challenge. There was a lot more nights and weekends on this project than my wife was pleased with.
Starting point is 01:17:43 She's like, okay, if you're going to do a sequel to this, you need to be better about your scheduling. This better make a lot of money. So, yeah, it's tough. I mean, we are really scheduled in the way that we shoot Good Mythical Morning so that the episodes can, you know, there's an episode up today. Obviously, we didn't shoot it today. We're here.
Starting point is 01:18:01 So we have a great team that's helping us make everything we do and then continuing to schedule that time. But, yeah, it gets overwhelming. But this is so much fun being able to do this because it's so different than everything else we do. It's so creative and so collaborative. And it's also scarier than anything we've done. I mean, there's some darkness in here that we kind of pulled from our experience
Starting point is 01:18:23 growing up in the Bible Belt, like growing up in North Carolina. There's lots of expectations that they put on kids to kind of toe the line. But then there's a bunch of secrets underneath that. We're like, all right, yeah, it's funny, but let's also get dark. It gets real. Well, right. I mean, it's described as darkly funny, but if you read the the description here it sounds like it's a it's like a horror book of of like yeah yeah this reformery school that the kids are afraid of and yeah it gets it gets dark i definitely say it's
Starting point is 01:18:53 in the horror whatever the horror comedy genre is whatever you call that yeah uh but yeah so i think it'll it'll satisfy you know we're big stephen king fans and and the fact that you know he does he does a lot of stuff with bicycle kids, kids running around on their bikes, facing, in small towns a lot of times, facing sinister forces. That's essentially what happens here. But in the same way that,
Starting point is 01:19:18 especially the movie adaptations of It and It Chapter 2 are actually really funny. I laughed as much as I got scared of those. We try to do the same thing with this. Well, now the next generation is going to be pushing their bikes away from the evil forces that's right uh well so i mean the youtube uh is obviously good mythical morning speaks for itself you got the book out uh i mean you guys are just crushing it and every commercial that's ever been viral and funny oh yeah that's like such a i don't know about, I mean, it's just speaking for myself,
Starting point is 01:19:46 but I always felt like I love a good commercial. Like we were saying not too long ago, like we don't like Netflix because I want to watch commercials sometimes. I need commercials. I need to break. I want to check my phone. I want to go to the bathroom and get a snack. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:19:57 But also, a good commercial will stick with you for a long time. And by good, you mean like really shitty, right? Yeah, so is the bad ones. So you knew our commercials? Yeah. Like which one? The Chuck test. Yeah,
Starting point is 01:20:10 Chuck test. I mean, and the memes that took over. When you do something like that. Well, that felt good, man. It felt good to see.
Starting point is 01:20:19 It's like a walk off. Like you hit it and you knew you got a classic on your hands. Well, we didn't know that. I mean, the show,
Starting point is 01:20:27 I mean, it was IFC's Commercial Kings, and we gave the commercials to everyone, including Chuck, but he didn't put it on his website until the season was over, and they were deciding if they were going to order a second season. And almost to the day that they decided not to order a second season of the show is when Chuck's commercial went viral and it didn't make a difference. But it felt so good. Well, it was a different time too because it was 2011 and we had
Starting point is 01:20:52 this pretty big argument with IFC at the time. We were like, these commercials should be released on their own on the internet. Right. And they were like, well, we're not going to do that. We can give them to the individuals because we were like, the whole idea is this is the marketing behind the show is to release these commercials. Speak for itself.
Starting point is 01:21:07 We were trying to release them. It didn't work out. But we had the original contract. We insisted that the business could use the commercials because we actually wanted to help them. And so then Chuck put it up. We didn't even know he was putting it up. And then all of a sudden, everybody was talking, saying, nope, Chuck Testa. And they didn't even.
Starting point is 01:21:24 So it's funny now that people, you know, I'm just glad we're still relevant so that people, I can see sometimes they'll make the connection. Whoa, those guys from Good Morning made Chuck Testa. One of our best friends in LA, who we've been friends with for two years, told us like six weeks ago, he texted us, he was like, I just connected you guys
Starting point is 01:21:46 to my favorite commercial of all time. He had no idea. Really? Because it was just like, we've done so many different things and it's sort of changed over the past decade that a lot of people are not, and we're not really,
Starting point is 01:21:56 we're in that commercial for a very, very short time. We always do a little cameo in all the commercials, but people don't make the connection. So we were like, oh yeah. And he's like, I actually, now I really respect what you guys do. It took this long. I never felt that until now.
Starting point is 01:22:12 But yeah, it's proof positive. It's working. So go check out the book, The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek. Sounds like a very unique, like the horror comedy is probably a tough one to nail, but I feel like there's too much to do. I have a question, and this is going to be legally binding. When this becomes a movie, can I be in it? Oh, thanks for that
Starting point is 01:22:28 vote of confidence. In a crowd scene. You saw my hair? Come on! This is leading man hair! The front of the crowd. Well, I mean, he could be behind someone, you could still just see the hair. Right, okay, yeah, it's true. Thank you, fellas could be behind someone. You could still just see the hair. Right. Okay. Yeah, it's true.
Starting point is 01:22:46 Thank you, fellas. We appreciate it. Good to meet you guys. You guys got time to shoot a quick video? Yeah. So we got this. All right. Big thanks to Rhett and Link.
Starting point is 01:22:57 I'm actually going to read their book. No, you're not. No, I'm not. But I actually want to read their book. Yeah. Right. They're really nice guys. Most people would give me this book and I'd be like, fuck off. You know? That book, I want to read. I'm going to pick that book up. I'm going to bring it home. I'm going to read their book. Yeah, right. So they're really nice guys. Most people would give me this book and I'd be like, fuck off.
Starting point is 01:23:06 That book, I want to read. I'm going to pick that book up. I'm going to bring it home. I'm going to collect dust. I'll read it. I bet you want to have a race to read it. Sure. You're going to win.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Let's bet 200 push-ups. No. I'm going to read this book tonight. I'm not doing a push-up challenge. That's for Rocket. Rocket did your push-ups the other day. He's all caught up. He gave you the 15 that he owed.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Yeah, I forgot he owed me. I wouldn't have allowed that. What do you mean? Oh, because it's only like... Yeah, you got to give me what I demand. Yeah. Well, tack the 15 back on. Who cares?
Starting point is 01:23:38 All right, Jason Nash is next. Another YouTube sensation. If you know the Vlog Squad and David Dobrik, you've seen some of the antics this guy has. We discussed it. John was out, so it was just me and him. We talked about him getting kicked off a plane, pretending to be a convict. He's done some wild shit.
Starting point is 01:23:53 And an interesting talk, too, about life with a camera around you 24-7 and balancing your internet life with your work, with your home life. Sharing his location with everybody all the time. Yeah, the Vlog Squad always knows where you are. What? Their location's always on. So, like, if you're going to film a video or you want to fuck with someone or show up, roll up on them, they know where they are at all times. Like, your friends or the world?
Starting point is 01:24:13 No, the friends. Oh, okay. That's crazy in and of itself, but the world would be very dangerous. Yeah. But these guys are crazy. Find out about it, Jason Nash. Lunatic. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:24:22 All right. It's KFC Radio featuring Jason Nash, YouTube sensation, comedian, the whole nine. Oh boy. Here in New York. Setting him up. Making people think this is going to be incredible. I mean, listen, what you've done is pretty incredible. Would you say you're not a YouTube sensation? I would say you are.
Starting point is 01:24:38 No, I don't know. No, I wouldn't say that. Really? I mean, there's some stiff competition out there, but when you've got millions of subscribers and you put up millions of views, I'd say it's sensational oh well thank you as someone who's trying to break into the youtube world it's uh i'd say so so you are all right let's do it so uh the stand-up comedian career blent like molds into this internet thing which has got to be a trip right i mean uh we kind of had that here. There was a guy who worked for us named Francis who was grinding out open mics and late night
Starting point is 01:25:11 sets and whatnot. We do kind of an American Idol type of thing contest. He won it, comes here, and he watched everything kind of take off. And it's just crazy. I feel like stand-up comedy is a world where you've got to pay your dues, and it takes forever, and it's just crazy. I feel like, you know, standup comedy is, is a world where you got to pay your dues and it takes forever and it's hard and not say you can pay your dues, but then also you use the power of the internet and it all can like just magnify and exponentially grow.
Starting point is 01:25:33 Right. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say I'm like a great standup, but I was doing it for probably about 20 years just. And let's see, before I started just like, you know, off and on about 20 years just um and let's see before i started just like you know off and on for 20 years i did a lot of one-man shows in like la and stuff like that and then i tried to
Starting point is 01:25:52 i made a couple movies those bombed um and then when i got on youtube and had an audience um i thought oh that would be that would be cool to try stand-up again and um and so yeah so then i wrote like an act. And, you know, the first time I did it, it was like 15 minutes. And then the second time I did it, it was like, you know, 18 minutes. And now it's up to like 45, 50 minutes. So I've been working on it. I think I've done, I've probably done like 30 shows this year.
Starting point is 01:26:19 Shit. Which is good. Yeah, absolutely. So it's all like working out. I'm watching a lot more stand-up now than I did before. Yeah kind of get into it we're doing we're not doing stand up we're doing like live podcast kind of like yeah that's fun too but you know the i mean i don't you know if there's an audience for something if anybody wants to get up on stage and do something i'm i'm down for it hell yeah well that's what it's like your your entire you know career and kind
Starting point is 01:26:41 of existence is that you're just down to do shit live is fun yeah you know like last night this girl just stood up i think a lot of the people that watch my videos they they've never been to a stand-up show before okay which is really funny so they'll literally act was it yeah like i don't expect i was about 10 minutes in and it was going good you know and i was feeling good like okay and then the girl just stands up she She has, like, not a lot of clothes on. And she goes, Jason! Like that. And I was like, hey. And then I said, don't take your top off.
Starting point is 01:27:14 And then she's like, I'm not going to do that. She's like, I just need to tell you something. I just need to tell you something. And I was like, wow, this is like, this is Caroline's. Like, this is a place where, like, real stand-ups come. We were just there, like, last week. And I'm trying to, like, picture it, you know, in the room. If someone did that, I would have been like, stand-ups come we were just there like last week and i'm thinking i'm trying to like picture it you know in the room someone did that i would have been like what people were people were baffled yeah and then she's just like i just wanted to tell you that you know i watch your videos every day and and and i really love them
Starting point is 01:27:37 and and i was like okay she's like but i bought i bought the meet and greet and i'm gonna see you in about an hour so in about an hour i'll i'll i will get a picture and stuff okay then why don't we do that then exactly um so stuff like that a lot of weird stuff happens um the weirder the better though right man you know yeah yeah and then people come up when people come up after and they apologize like they'll be like i'm so sorry for that girl and i'm like no that's literally what it's about right you know what i mean like i'm waiting for a moment to like that to happen i you know maybe if uh you know you're a pure comic and you you know worry about the craft and the art but you know you're gonna make people laugh we're putting out videos on the internet you do weird stuff you do funny stuff right the more unique
Starting point is 01:28:17 not even weird it's just unique i've never seen that at a show i'd like to see how you know you react when when a fan in the audience does that. See where this fucking goes. Who knows? That's kind of what I'm about. Some guy in Detroit, he stood up in the middle and he balanced a chair on his head and he was like, put me in the vlogs! And then the chair fell on a girl's face. Guess what though? You're going to make the vlog now. I wish I was rolling on it. I draw the line there.
Starting point is 01:28:49 It's like if something organically happens, but people just wedging their way into your act or disturbing the rest. Yeah, they just don't know. It's funny how many people just don't know how to act. They just don't know, which is fine. I guess. So would you say the the the stand up comedy versus like the YouTube world
Starting point is 01:29:09 which one do you which one do I like better or excel at or focus on or what's your I think I'm better at YouTube but but
Starting point is 01:29:16 I really love them both I mean YouTube's the best it's the best job it really is you go you get to go places you get to you make excuses to do insane things.
Starting point is 01:29:26 I mean, like we went one time, we went and we gambled $10,000 on a roulette spin for my nanny to try to win her $20,000 so she could build a fence in her backyard. Did you hit it? Yeah, we did. And that's something that I would never do if I was just a regular guy, you know? And, and, and so that stuff like that's like really fun. Like, you know, we're going to Miami next week. I mean, I, I never went to Miami, you know, but it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's incredible. What would you say is like the weirdest thing you've done? Craziest. Cause I know you've had some pranks and semantics and, uh, I specifically remember the getting
Starting point is 01:29:59 kicked off the plane dressed as a convict, you know, that kind of shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. That, that, that was bad. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we were, we were, we were of shit. Oh, yeah, that was bad. Yeah, yeah, I mean. We were traveling a lot for the, we were doing our podcast live, too, and we were traveling a lot for it,
Starting point is 01:30:14 and we have to, like, we have to make videos. We have to make them. So we got to the airport one weekend, and I dressed as, and my buddy brought me a Jesus Christ costume, and he's like, put this Jesus Christ costume and walk around the airport. And I was like, okay. I say yes
Starting point is 01:30:28 to everything. I was going to say, well, finish this story but then I'd like to know if there's anything you ever said. I say yes to everything and then I let the guys decide if we should use it or not. And then when they get mad at me, I go, well, you shouldn't train a linebacker if you don't want him to. Because sometimes they'll be like a nuisance or whatever. So then I, I, I put the Jesus Christ outfit on and I'm
Starting point is 01:30:48 walking through the airport and it's like going well, like people are reacting. They think it's funny. And I'm like, Oh cool. We're getting some good stuff. And you're like acting like Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just being peaceful Jesus or whatever. Peaceful Jay. Yeah. And, and, and people are getting a real kick out of it from From the kids to the flight attendants, next weekend comes, my buddy brings a prisoner costume. And I'm like, huh. I'm like, that one's different, maybe. In an airport, too. Just try it.
Starting point is 01:31:12 So it's going pretty well. And actually, people were kind of laughing at it. I've got the cuffs on, and I'm sneaking by everybody. Is there a camera on you, or is this hidden camera type shit? We don't hide cameras. It's always just a big AED kind of out in front. That does make it a little different if you see a camera. Yeah We don't hide cameras. It's always just a big AED. That does make it a little different if you see a camera. Yeah, we never hide cameras.
Starting point is 01:31:28 We never want people to feel like they're... Right, right, right. And then what happened? Oh, so then we got on the plane and my buddy said he... I was handcuffed and I was like, give me the keys, give me the keys so I can get out of the handcuffs.
Starting point is 01:31:42 And then my other buddy, Todd, he said, I ate the keys like that. And so i can get out of the handcuffs and then my buddy my other buddy todd he uh he said i ate i ate the hand i ate the keys like that and then i was like what like what do you mean you ate the keys what do you mean you ate the keys guys are idiots and they were they were they were totally fucking with me you know yeah and i was like um and then my other friend zane he's like he's like you ate the keys you ate you ate the keys? And then my buddy Zane goes, he goes, we need a doctor. Like that. And we're like, and then Todd was like,
Starting point is 01:32:10 no, no, no, no, no, no. Zane, they're right here. They're right here. The keys are right here. And as soon as they heard, we need a doctor, they were like, done. And they were super nice about it. They came over, they were like,
Starting point is 01:32:22 we're going to get you off this flight and you're going to get on the next one. Could be worse. Yeah, and we didn't even fight or anything. We were like, we fucked up. You know, you fuck around on a plane. We're gone. We're gone. Not only for a multitude of reasons,
Starting point is 01:32:32 but even just people are miserable on planes. They got crying babies. They're trying to get to and from. It's like, okay, we got our footage. We're going to go. So then we got on the next one. Have you ever said no to something? Has David or any other guys come across
Starting point is 01:32:42 and been like, go do this? Yeah, there's lots of things like, can I shoot you in the leg with a gun? Stuff like that. Like a real gun? Or like a BB gun? It's like said, but it's more like, I don't think he, I think it wasn't, I'm not sure who pitched it, but someone pitched like a rubber bullet or something. There's lots of stuff.
Starting point is 01:32:59 Or like someone pitched, someone pitched that spider that bites you. So they're like, fly to Costa Rica. There's this spider in Costa Rica that it's been on TV. Like paralyzes you or some shit? Yeah, like stuff like that. But you don't die or something? Yeah, it's supposed to be the most pain in the world. I can't remember what it is. What are you, some sort of pussy?
Starting point is 01:33:18 You don't want to do it? That's pretty much what's said sometimes. But for the most part, we're not like jackass. Those guys are really intense. They're nuts. You've got to have a screw loose. You guys are trying to entertain. They're like trying to, you know.
Starting point is 01:33:34 They've got a death wish sometimes. Jackass is the best. The absolute best. Jackass, I didn't ever do that kind of stuff. But I want to say it didn't shape me. It shaped my sense of humor. I mean, that was my formative years where I was figuring out what i think is funny and whatnot yeah i think it's funny when you like smash someone over the head with a shopping cart you know like whatever
Starting point is 01:33:51 it is it was we see steve-o a lot yeah and every time i see him like i want to like say like and then you did that and then you did this yeah but you know it's like i just want to be like thank you man yeah thank you and like he's nuts and all the pain on your body. Yeah. You've done, you know. He told me something really interesting. I've seen him jump off a roof twice now. And he said, he said he goes, he does this thing. He goes, well, when I count to three, that's when I can jump. And I've watched him do it twice.
Starting point is 01:34:18 And he'll just go one, two, three. And then he'll land it every time. Like a perfect somersault. He has like a system to do it? Yeah, it was totally cool to watch him. It's like watch him work. You don't think anything goes into it, but so much goes into it. Oh, I mean to get mentally prepared for that.
Starting point is 01:34:33 Yeah, you actually see that like Steve-O's like a human being. You know what I mean? He preps to like jump off a roof. Yeah, what he does is fucking crazy. But you're about to fucking get bit by an alligator or jump off of something or lights up and on fire it's like the only way steve-o is alive is because he preps yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah totally awesome that's why it's that's why that the only uh like you know disclaimer i've ever taken to heart was like at the beginning of that show like don't try this shit at home that was like yep i'm listening to
Starting point is 01:35:01 that no way the the life you described though though, you get to go to Miami, you get to do all these cool things, raise money, and have these cool moments, but that's a grind, too, right? Yeah, it's tiring. Always on the road, always filming. It's not normal. I feel like the human brain and heart and mind and everything is not necessarily supposed to do that.
Starting point is 01:35:22 So I feel like we're on camera a lot, more so just talking, not doing crazy things, but constantly on camera, constantly getting feedback and haters and exposing yourself. And, you know, people think it's a fun and easy job or a, hey, you're, you know, you're rich or famous or whatever it may be. But it's like, you know, it's a, it's a tough gig, no? I have this one friend, he's an artist in LA and he sells and he sells his paintings at, like, farmer's markets and stuff. And he does really well.
Starting point is 01:35:50 And he always says, he goes, your life sounds miserable. Yeah. Some people can see that. I think a lot of people think, you know, for us, it's usually, well, you're talking about sports and girls and hanging out. You know, you don't have to go to an office. It's easy. And I'm sure for you, it's the same thing you just described. But, you know, until you do it, until you walk a mile, it's not necessarily all roses, you know, you don't have to go to an office. It's easy. And I'm sure for you, it's the same thing you just described, but you know,
Starting point is 01:36:05 until you do it, until you walk a mile, it's not necessarily all roses. You know, I remember for years I was like unemployed and I did nothing. And now that I don't have a minute, I'm like, I literally think about when I was unemployed sometimes.
Starting point is 01:36:14 Yeah. I'll walk by a Starbucks and I'll see a guy just like writing his novel in the Starbucks and I'll be like, Oh my God, I would love to just sit there. I didn't, I didn't do unemployment, but I had like,
Starting point is 01:36:22 I had like cube job. I hated it. I never want to go back. I'd had that. But, but I had a cube job. I hated it. I never want to go back. I had that too. But the beauty was come in hungover on a Friday and be like, I'm just not going to do anything today. I'll stare at my screen and everyone will think I'm working, but my brain is completely shut down for 12 straight hours. I haven't done that in 10 years. It's constantly social media when you're at home and when you're in the office, it's writing and talking and filming.
Starting point is 01:36:45 It can weigh. in like 10 years. It's been, you know, it's constantly social media when you're at home and then when you're in the office it's writing and talking and filming and da-da-da. And it, you know, it can weigh. Has it negatively impacted you? Hmm. No, I mean, I don't think so. I'm trying to think.
Starting point is 01:36:59 Yeah, I mean, I guess I would just, I guess I would just like to spend more time with my kids. Yeah. That's probably the hardest thing. It's like just any day I don't see them, I'm bummed.
Starting point is 01:37:09 I feel you, man. I'm bummed out. I just got divorced, and so I have my schedule, and it's like with them, it's great. And then even maybe first sending them back to their mom, I'm happy. I'm like, all right, I get to do something. And then 12 hours after that, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, I know. What are they doing? Where are they going? What's happening? And it's like, ah. That's good. It's just part then like 12 hours after that, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, I know. What are they doing?
Starting point is 01:37:25 Where are they going? What's happening? And it's like, ah. That's good. It's just part of being a parent. It's the cost, yeah. Right. So we play this game called Answer the Internet,
Starting point is 01:37:32 which the other half of our show is we have callers call in and give us like crazy hypotheticals. Right. And this one I picked out I thought was funny because for most people it's probably a question. And for you, it's what you do. It's would you want a camera to follow you around 24 7 and it said it would catch all the funny moments but it would also see all the fucked up shit that you do so uh you know
Starting point is 01:37:53 again for a regular person you start to think like oh wow if we had that moment on camera that would be cool and that moment would be awesome but hey what about the time you said this or did that how how much are you guys you know like 24 7 do you have a say in the edit do you you put out your own stuff but when it's part of the bigger crew is there ever moments that you're like guys i really don't want that out there and it's like tough luck or no everybody's everybody's really good about that if there's something in there that you don't want in you just say you don't want in so it's it's actually really nice we have such a great like trust um like i whenever any anytime someone's filming like I never worry about like what I'm saying or if something, um, yes, I, I wouldn't, I do have a camera following me
Starting point is 01:38:30 24 seven. Is it really a 24? I mean, you know, not, maybe not exactly, but it's not like a, you know, we don't go anywhere. We don't go anywhere without our cameras for sure. And a lot of what we do is, um, it's not that the camera's following us as, as we're trying to find something. It's almost like being a papar us, it's we're trying to find something. It's almost like being a paparazzi,
Starting point is 01:38:47 like lots of nights. Content? Yeah, so you'll literally like, you'll get in the car, you know, at like eight, I'll go see my kids from like six to eight, and then I go with the guys, and we'll just drive around Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:39:00 Really? Yeah, and just, and there's lots of- And this is the vlog squad, I mean, so the whole team, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that ranges, you're what, you're like 46? I'm 46. Some of these guys are younger, and there's lots of, this is the vlog squad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that ranges, you're what? You're like 46. I'm 46.
Starting point is 01:39:07 Some of these guys are younger guys, girls, old young. The youngest is 23. And then some of them are most, and the rest of them are like in their twenties. Wild. Yeah. And so is there like an induction process to that? Is it like, you know, can you like apply to be in it? How does that work?
Starting point is 01:39:21 How do you, how do you become a member of the vlog squad? I don't know that it's, it's not like we, it's not like we started this thing. Like we're the vlog squad and we're going to take people. It was literally like, it was, um, you know, these guys were friends like David and Zane and Scotty. And then they started making videos and then they, they, they got to like a lot of fans and the fans were like, they're the vlog squad. They're the vlog squad. And I remember, and then the guys, me in a comedy club and they were like, do you want to, um, it was really just David. He came and found me at the improv in LA.
Starting point is 01:39:52 I was performing to like 15 people and I was like doing nothing. I was like, Vine had just died. And I had a, what was that like by the way, when Vine died? I mean, cause it was such a, such a phenomenon, but then it was just the same day, the same day that Vine died, my movie came out and completely bombed. So I was like installing speakers at trade shows and then doing stand-up at night. And then David came in and he saw me do this one bit about millennials. I don't even remember what it was.
Starting point is 01:40:19 I was really just making fun of millennials. And he's like, oh, can you come tomorrow and do this in my vlog? And I was like, yeah, sure. And then we just kept filming. You think about like the butterfly effect on things. Like had he, you know, been two minutes late or two minutes early and missed that,
Starting point is 01:40:37 or you decided to do a different bit that day, or you were sick, or, you know, you're still installing speakers or something. Yeah, exactly. It could have been that way. But that's, and that's why I like, and that's why I,
Starting point is 01:40:46 I, I admire the way you do things where it's just like, just do like, say yes, go do it. Yeah. Like, because you don't know who's watching,
Starting point is 01:40:54 who's going to see it, what's going to pop, who, you know, that's the beauty of YouTube too. Like it keeps you very honest. It's, that's what I love about it.
Starting point is 01:41:01 It's an honest job. Like, it's like, like when I used to be an actor, people would be like, Oh, what do you do? And I it's like when I used to be an actor people would be like oh what do you do and I'd be like oh I'm an actor
Starting point is 01:41:07 but I wasn't acting you know you want to be an actor yeah like I wasn't in anything maybe once in a while I'd have a part but YouTube's great because it's like
Starting point is 01:41:15 I know that Monday, Wednesday and Friday I need to make a video and it forces you that's why when people come up to me and they're like
Starting point is 01:41:22 I want to be a YouTuber and I'm like start making videos that's it that's all it is my when people come up to me and they're like, I want to be a YouTuber. And I'm like, start making videos. That's it. That's all it is. My favorite is guys who come up and they say, I could blog for Barstool. I want to be a blogger. I'm like, all right, what's your blog?
Starting point is 01:41:33 And they're like, oh, I don't have one. So you don't even do it? But you think you can do it here? Yeah. Do it. Go. And I get that. I understand it's hard to start.
Starting point is 01:41:42 But you really wouldn't. You really wouldn't. It'll take you 30 or 40 videos to see like, oh, this is what I can do. This is what works. You'll have one video that will hit. Let's say you go and you cook. You're like, oh, I decided to make chicken parmesan, and it hits. You're like, oh, maybe
Starting point is 01:41:58 that's my thing. People think I'm the funny cook guy or whatever. You just have to do it. By the time you were making YouTube videos, was it big pretty much right away? Was there money in it right away? Or were you doing some videos that were just a couple thousand views and grinding through it? No. Yeah, I was grinding through it for a good portion.
Starting point is 01:42:19 That's just the worst. It wasn't, though, because it was so much fun fun and it just felt good right away. Yeah, I guess you're right. Because when we were doing our podcast, we were early on the podcast. And for years, there was not even an advertiser on it. We just still did it. But I still think those are our funniest ones ever because it was for the love of the game. And you love the guys you were doing it with and you had your format.
Starting point is 01:42:40 And as long as you have that passion for whatever whatever you're doing as long as like you're good you know like all that stuff you see um like you know none of it none of it makes you happy you know like fancy cars and all that you know it's really just about you know having a craft and yeah for sure and loving it does it uh has it become work at all like are there days you wake up and you're like i don't want to do this fucking video or i don't want to go on the plane like even if you're going to miami or somewhere nice it's like i just want to fucking sit on the couch yeah i i want to sit on the couch i haven't sat on the couch in in months yeah it's been crazy but yeah the best thing in the world sitting on the couch man oh it's the best you know sometimes i'm like why like i do all this stuff to maybe hopefully
Starting point is 01:43:20 eventually one day be able to like retire early and sit on the couch well why don't i just sit on the couch yeah why let's just cut to the chase and sit on the couch. Well, why don't I just sit on the couch? Let's just cut to the chase and get on the fucking couch. No, but I feel like certain people, probably people like us, just need to do shit. Put it out, get it out, say it. So I know for myself, if I don't get on the mic and just get all my shit out, I don't know what would happen. I think I'd explode. I think I'd lose it.
Starting point is 01:43:46 Are you like a big Howard Stern fan? I mean. Or were you? Yeah, yeah. Like I mean, I definitely admire, yeah, I'm a New York guy. I'm more like a sports radio guy as well. So Mike Frances and a lot of those guys I admire. But then I do.
Starting point is 01:43:57 Who's the guy that's always on Howard? He talks like this, Mike. Mad Dog Russo. Mad Dog Russo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike and the Mad Dog were like, yeah, that's my thing but howard you know certainly is the the of course the fucking the goal sure sure gold standard especially what we do with you know sometimes letting it fly and saying whatever but yeah i
Starting point is 01:44:14 mean i think it's part of the you know your dna or whatever to get it all out last night i i mean i'm currently engaged in a uh parking war with my neighbor oh no so i parked we have to move our car on opposite sides of the street because there's street cleaning. Right. And he left a note on my car saying, like, don't park here. Okay. And I saw that note.
Starting point is 01:44:32 And as pissed off as I was, like, fuck this guy because it was so condescending the way he wrote it. Yeah. I was like, yeah. Like, we're going to do this now. We're going to talk about it. We're going to fight. Right, right.
Starting point is 01:44:42 Part of me is like, it's sick when part of me is like happy. It said, so I live near the train station right and he thought that i was from another town and that i drove close to the train station but didn't want to pay for parking and just took up a neighborhood spot so he wrote uh don't walk from here to the train station when you can just park there after all you don't live here i live like right across the street from him he just doesn't know it right so and that after all just drove me and he turned my mirror and he put it on my mirror and turned it i was like that's clearly just so completely wrong like i wouldn't even be mad at it i mean i would just be like hey bud i live here well so i wrote i didn't know who it was though so i wrote back on the note um um, like, yes I do.
Starting point is 01:45:25 And I went to put it back on the mirror and put it on his car. I was, I put it, I left my car where it was. So I figured it was that house and I put it on the window where you can see it. And, but if he had just said like, if he had just said, you know, on your own car, you wrote, yes I do. Had he been like oh like shoot my bad sorry
Starting point is 01:45:46 I would have been like alright cool you're still a dick but like whatever but he he doubled down so you know
Starting point is 01:45:53 stuff like that but part of me is like okay yes let's go when I lived in New York those are the things that I was not sad to see
Starting point is 01:46:00 yeah I was gonna say it's super unhealthy and terrible for like your psyche and your emotional well being but hey it makes for a good story so Caroline's tonight It was not sad to see, though. Yeah, I was going to say, it's super unhealthy and terrible for your psyche and your emotional well-being. But hey, it makes for a good story. So Caroline's tonight?
Starting point is 01:46:10 Caroline's tonight. Live on stage. It's a great club. It's an awesome spot. Really fun. Great people in there. It's an experience for sure. Yeah, they really care about the comics.
Starting point is 01:46:21 This is awesome. You come in and they're like, oh, what are you doing? They'll talk to you about the set after yep it's really nice so you got the stand up thing going obviously the vlog is a monster
Starting point is 01:46:30 vlog squad is you know taking over the world doing the vlogs so you know go check them out Jason Nash he's all over the place go see him
Starting point is 01:46:36 I feel like you know you gotta see someone live in the flesh too to really get it so make sure you go see him on stage and check out the vlog and we're gonna go
Starting point is 01:46:44 answer the internet you ready? ready let's do it

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