KFC Radio - Eric Andre, Polly Feitelberg's Debut, Dave Portnoy May Buy the Mets, and Randonauts

Episode Date: June 23, 2020

Subscribe, rate, and leave a review! We kick off the show talking about comedians reactions to the accusations against Chris D'Elia, his statement, and how no matter how hard they try people won't be able to cancel Joey "Coco" Diaz. (33:50) We discuss the unintentional comedy surrounding the Trump Rally and the photo of him looking disheveled. (41:36)A woman is trying to cancel Ancient Aliens and we don't know if she's kidding. That leads us into a conversation about conspiracy theories and the CIA. (54:28) Feits has dove into the world of Randonauts and the mystery surrounding them. (1:02:57) KFC reacts to the rumors of Dave Portnoy trying to buy the Mets. (1:22:32) Top 5 Tuesday returns with Top 5 HBO shows of all time. (1:42:25) Our first voicemail (about rather having gnats swarm you at all times or always have a pebble in your shoe) leads to a childhood story of Feits' and a guest appearance from Polly Feitelberg herself. (2:06:59) Eric Andre joins the show. We discuss what he's been getting up to in quarantine, favorite drinks, and his time at Berkley. We also discuss what goes into making his pranks, whether or not he gets uncomfortable, and the one guest who is impossible to make uncomfortable (hint: he's been on our show before). Catch his new special on Netflix now. Let us know what you thought of the podcast on twitter @kfcradio @kfcbarstool @feitsbarstool @ericandre Subscribe and check out daily clips on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/KFCradioYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Of course John's fucked up. He had that time where he was, like, trapped in a horse stall with flies eating him. For a long time! For a long time. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We got a monster jam-packed episode with a major guest, Eric Andre, who is a fucking brilliant, mad scientist, chaos.

The first interview I've had in a long time. I can't even remember the last one where I was nervous going into it. Yeah. I was very scared to go. So I thought he was going to be like talking to KB and fucking Nick and be like, I don't get like, are you making fun of me or not?

Yes. Like I, I get nervous to interview Bill Burr because I think he's just this no-bullshit, no-nonsense, legendary comedian. I got nervous to interview Eric Andre where I was like, did you guys look up my address and someone's going to pop through the

window and dump something on my head while we do this? But it turns out as crazy as Eric Andre is, he's a pretty low-key dude who's just like, this is just like, I can make funny shit by being crazy. He's not like a – Pina Coladas. Yeah.

Play in the bass. I mean, I don't want to spoil it, but Eric Andre drinking Pina Coladas in this interview is just great. So we have – he's a solo by himself. We didn't even fuck around with any other guests because I think he's that important of an interview And we just got a shit ton of topics to talk about Our voicemails, our top fives

We're coming in fucking hot to start the week I'm coming in exceptionally hot You want to know why? Why? Because So we're selling my house Not we, my parents are selling my house Right

And there was a showing today So people came to look at it So you got to get the hell out of the house when they come. Right. We went to just a coffee shop to hang out. I had no idea how long these things take. Apparently, if you're going to spend a shitload of money on a house,

you only look at it for about a half hour. You do not spend much time looking through this thing. You know what it is? I've done it before. I've done it before where, you know, you're looking and it's like, okay,

well, I'm not an architect. I'm not a construction worker. I don't really know what know what the you know I'm like walking around being like is this load bearing like what's the dimensions of this room it's like I don't know there's a few bedrooms a bathroom is it gonna fall down uh I don't know probably I should have done a little more because I ended up buying a fucking house that lives underwater but yeah your point your point is true where it's just people are I don't know, it looks good. Let's leave, honey. They were here for like 35 minutes. But me and my family went to

a coffee shop down the street to like, you know, really nowhere else to go. We were just going to sit in the car. And I wanted to fit in. I was peer pressure to drink coffee. And I am zooming right now. Oh boy! Johnny Caffeine is on a whole other level. Let's go! I just drank a small black coffee

I didn't want to be sitting in a coffee shop Not drinking coffee like a psychopath So I got a coffee And I'm very scatterbrained And I'm very jittery No I mean we've got a lot to talk about As a host here I'm like I don't even know how I'm going to fit all this in

I just spilled a whole fucking thing of water Can you see this? It looks like I pissed my pants. I mean, we are, we are, we got ourselves an episode. Um, first off, I am fully obsessed with the Chris D'Elia saga and the fallout and the comedian world and all that shit that's going on, which continues to just get deeper and weirder. We've now, Whitney Cummings finally spoke out and just called him a fucking creep. The cancel culture is now coming for Joey Diaz and Joe Rogan. I think a lot of other, there's a lot of other rumors swirling.

I think that shit's going to continue to get uglier and uglier and not just for Chris D'Elia. I feel like, by the way, like Chris D'Elia's I feel like, by the way, Chris D'Elia's silence is fucking deafening, right? I mean, I think that there... He wasn't silent. He made a statement that didn't deny it. Yeah, right, right.

And that, to me, like... I forget what his exact quote was, but it was something along the lines of... It seems to be the company line is, I didn't break the law. It is those, like, you know the the age of consent is uh always much younger than you thought it was as we've joked about many times uh you you think it's 18 across the board it is not 18 in many places it's like it's it's more often not 18 than it is i feel like more states are 16 i think the most states are 16.

So this was, this was Dalia's statement that he gave to TMZ. Uh, I know I've said and done things that might've offended people during my career, but I never knowingly pursued any underage woman at any point. All my relationships have been legal and consensual and I have never met or exchanged any inappropriate photos with the people who have tweeted about me. That being said, see, that's also weird. It's like, this has never happened, but also I'm sorry. It's like, well, that being said, I'm really, truly sorry. I was a dumb guy who absolutely in caps locks, let myself get caught up in my lifestyle. That's my fault. I own it. I've been reflecting on this

for some time now, and I will promise to continue to do better, which also reads to me like, you know, I knew this was coming. I mean, dude, the original, like the original tweets and allegations were from like 2013. So, you know, when that girl was like, you're 30 and he's like 42 now or some shit. So this has been going on a long time. I think that when you see how many allegations and screenshots there were, and then you think about like, that's the tip of the iceberg. What's going on beneath the water is probably, you know, a hundred times more than

that. And, you know, the Biebs just got hit with an allegation, uh, overnight. And did you see what he did? He had, he came with the fucking receipts, literally the receipts for Airbnbs for the Weston that he stayed in. He had screenshots with, with like the time and the date circled, like the fucking Zapruder film. He was like, Selena was there. Look at this picture. She's in the background. I was at the four seasons restaurant, not the four seasons hotel. And like, I feel like that's kind of what you do when, you know, you're innocent and you have the alibi or you have the reasons behind it. When you just sit there and you're in, in, you know, dead silent for over a week now, other than a, a, you know, completely controlled and like sanitary press release to TMZ.

I mean, I feel like that's a basically almost an admission. No, I would say, yeah. I don't think the silence is the admission. I think the admission is the admission yeah yeah i didn't break the law i let myself get wrapped up i don't know again like if you're if your response to all these people being like he's a creep and that's what we said like i don't think anyone ever said he broke the law because i don't know the fucking law um but you're just like like that's creep yeah i don't need to fucking go to law school to feel like that's a fucking strange way from jump street i was saying like i don't

think he's going to jail because i do think there's enough um a lot of those allegations were just like unsavory behavior with like a 19 year old girl and you treat her like shit and it was creepy but hey that's like that's not illegal that's probably like uh you know lesson learned uh for for for you that you shouldn't be like fucking around with but in that situation but i i never thought it was going to be illegal i thought it was just going to be you know the court of public opinion is going to cancel you and to be honest in in some cases with all that delia had uh it's almost like worse i hate i hate the word cancel so much. Yeah. I mean, it really is the idea of like cancel culture has now taken on its own life where it's like – it's weird because we're talking about very serious shit that you shouldn't just be like,

I don't want to – I hate this, you know. But that's where we're at. I don't hate the – whatever you want to say about the act. People are like, it's not real. It's real. Fucking I don't hate i don't hate the act or the whatever you want to say about the act people like it's not real it's real fucking i don't know i just hate the like the phrase i just hate phrases that's my thing anything that but it but it really does it's like karens right it's like these people are still being assholes and they probably should be like exposed and called out or whatever but when i see a karen i'm like i'm not even gonna watch it i don't even want to read this story and like that's know, you're beating it to death in a bad way because

now we're not talking about, you know, things we should really. I also, you know, so the latest on the heels of the D'Elia thing is now Joe Rogan and Joey Diaz. Rogan, I feel like it's a tough spot to be like you. I mean, we had Chris D'Elia on our show. You know what I mean? Like, are we like, uh, complicit in his behavior? No. Now Joe Rogan takes it to a level where he like props everybody up and like raises careers and elevates people's status. So I understand it's different than just like, Hey, I had him on my show, but I think it's tough to be like, you had someone on your podcast, you were friends with someone,

they were doing some shit that you didn't really know about. This is the other thing, by the way, I understand the notion that when you're around someone and you're friends with someone and you know someone that like you would probably have an inkling if some crazy shit was going on. But by the way, people don't broadcast if they're fucking underage girls. They try to keep that stuff secret. They try to keep it quiet.

There's been all the clips coming out of like other comedians talking about it. Like, oh yeah, D'Elia, I was going to fuck with D'Elia. I just dressed like an underage girl. I was going to fuck with D'Elia. I just dressed like a 17-year-old girl. It seems like it was pretty broadcast. Right. Well, like Theo has made a couple of comments saying,

yeah, if I was going to rob Crystal, I dress up like a 17 year old girl. There was another clip where he was like, he has an army of underage girls as his, uh, like audience. But like,

I mean, dude, I, I, I said that about Dave, like Dave, your entire go press go crowd are, are teenagers.

Uh, I don't think that he's fucking teenagers though you know like i think there is uh a level where it's like you can know that there's some like weird shit about this guy but not necessarily make the jump to like he's you know fucking them but and by the way we talked about this last week the what's it called i think it's different with boys and girls though i think like like it's funny with like gopros go 15 year old steve i think like if you're just like if everyone you hang out with is an underage girl i think like there's there's nothing normal about either one but i think that the the uh it's not crazy to be

like well he's probably having sex with them it's great it's like oh it's wild obviously but it's not it's not a huge mental leap to be like, yeah, they're probably, they're probably sleeping with them. Yeah. I mean, I listened to Tim Dillon's podcast this week and he was addressing it and he was like, you know, he's like, I'm the opposite of Chris D'Elia. I'm not like the cool guy. I'm not the sexy guy. And I don't have girls like running up to me after my set being like, Oh my

God. Oh my God. So like, if you saw all that shit, if you saw like young, like, or like even maybe not even young, but just like hot chicks running up on a guy every time he's out in public or every time he's performing, you know, it's probably like, Whoa, there's like, there's some, there's some weird shit going on here. And yeah, of course, you know, you go to the inner, inner circle, everyone's always going to start to have questions like, well, how much did you know? But like, I don't know. I do feel like people still keep a lot of shit quiet, even from, you know, their, their best friends or their, their coworkers or whatever. I, you know, it's a real bad sign when, uh, when like I learned the word, uh, hebefile,

right. Where are we talking about this last week? Like, or arena file, whatever it is. Like when you have, when you have brought a term like that to the forefront, that's not good. You don't want like your lasting legacy is we all learned there's a difference between fucking 16 to 19 year olds and, and below that, that's not a legacy you want to have, man. Uh, but as far as Rogan and Rogan i think is is i mean above like a lot all this like i don't think until there's like any real allegations with him if he were to do something i don't think you can come at a guy who a is just having people on a show and b is as popular as he

is you can't you can't like cancel someone if their fans don't want to cancel them right really you know what i mean tim tweeted that the other day and it is like a great point in the podcasting world like you can't just get rid of a fan base because they like if they're not willing to abandon ship yeah you can't you can't like have someone lose their i guess you could go after advertisers and shit like that but if fans don't, I mean, it's the same thing with like fucking any athlete who's ever had allegations. Like they don't feel like people liked Kobe, right? No matter what happened in Eagle Rock or whatever it was. And people like Ray Lewis.

It didn't fucking matter. We like him anyway. I mean, and that's where Joey Diaz is at right now, too, which is a little bit of a different situation because the Joey Diaz clip that has gone viral is one that is it's horrific. It's horrifying. He's talking about how he made this girl suck his dick to get on stage and that. And he says, like, I broke her now. He went out of his way. Yeah. He wanted to point that out to confess really like it was it was even like you tell stories or whatever and you kind of you exaggerate he's like i'm not kidding i want everyone stop

laughing i'm dead serious about like like literally ruining a woman's life that seems to be the the response from comedians who know him are like he was on a podcast telling stories with the boys exaggerating. It was from like a long time ago where like, and I don't, I don't even, as crazy as, as uncle Joey Diaz is, I don't even think he'd be making those kinds of jokes now because it's like, it was, I don't know. Rogan was still like in his fucking like apartment when you're recording. I don't even know when that was. So I think it was very old.

But every comedian, He said it's not a joke. Right. Well, and that's what's weird is he was like, this is real. Every comedian who's coming to his defense is like, no, it's a joke. But he's not saying it was. The guy who said it is saying it was real. But every comic who knows him, all the women, all the female comics who have like traveled with him and gone on the road are like he is he treats me like gold like well doesn't sound like he treated that girl like gold josh wolf had a whole uh tweet thread explaining

that they were like you're talking about two drug addicts he used to like fuck in the in the in the uh bathroom of the of the comedy store and, everybody knew what was going on. Everyone knew it was fucked up, but it wasn't as he characterized it in this story. But I'm like, how would you make it worse? What's that? Why would you tell the story and make it worse if that's not what it is? Yeah, that that's, well, I mean, I can't get inside anybody's head, but I, you know, I do know there are people who want to sound the craziest and the baddest and have the wildest story.

I don't know anything about I've heard his name. I don't know anything about him. He kidnapped me. He went to jail. He kidnapped a man and went to jail for it. He's like his first response afterwards was like, I don't even hear people crying about the man that I kidnapped. I don't know why we're talking about this girl, which forget whether you, you know, you, you think that that's funny or, uh, if you, if you're offended by like the way he's possibly be funny. I don't personally find it funny, but I mean, you know, there's, there's two spectrums here. There's the people who like want, you know, comedy is moving in that like clean direction where they don't want any of this type of like offensive shit. And I think there's the other extreme where people like that stuff. They want it to be, you know, they want to hear crazy stories.

They want to hear, you know, silly shit. I don't think comedy is moving in the clean direction. Oh, I definitely think it is. I think people have been saying that about comedy since it was invented. Yeah, but the major difference now yeah but i think the major difference now is is like social media where it's like if you get loud enough and rally enough people around who believe in in what you believe in uh you're just not gonna like you know you might not like be canceled as we say but i don't think the police used to bust into comedy clubs and arrest people for swearing.

Right. But I, but I also feel like that almost like galvanized them in a way for the audience who does like it. I feel like if you just get enough people who are against that type of comedy, and then it almost like persuades people who might like it to be like, well, I can't like open, openly like Joey Diaz on Twitter anymore because you know, I'm going to, it's like, it's like the way Rogan and Joey Diaz are getting like roped in.

I feel like you almost as a fan kind of get roped in on it. And I definitely think it can like impact your, your potential success. I don't know. I think societal like views on what's funny and don't just always are ever changing i don't know i don't know if it's like trying to get comedy clean i don't even i mean i don't think that i just think i'm in on commentary on comedy but like there's more i don't think that um like i don't think the same shit that used to play plays as well with with like a whole new chunk

of society it's almost like in 21 Jump Street you know in 21 Jump Street when they go back to school and everything that was cool is now lame and everything that was lame is now cool and like Channing Tatum's like I don't know how to fucking do this anymore I feel like that yeah but that's just that's just society that's just how

the world works. Stuff that was really clean 15 years ago. Seinfeld doesn't really play anymore. Seinfeld's not this evil. But that's what I mean. So don't you feel like it's moving in that direction? What? So don't you feel like as comedy continues on, as the world continues on, that things are just getting more and more clean, less and less offensive?

I think they're getting different. I mean, you can't tell a racist joke anymore like the way you used to be able to. But I think that's just... I don't think anyone's like, you can do it. You just gotta be funny. I don't think... I'm not saying anyone's gonna stop you. I'm just saying you're not gonna be as successful as you were

10, 20, 30, whatever years ago. Yeah, people just think different things are funny. I don't think, I don't think there's anything. If you do it funny, I think you can do it no matter what. But I like, I just, probably like, like Louie is like always the best example. Like he is just so undeniably funny that he can talk about whatever talks he want and he can live the lifestyle he wants. But I think for the average comedian or like the, the,

like the whole like uh industry it's just not gonna be like the same really yeah but i mean i i don't know i don't think that's like the the uh i don't i don't think that's due to any one thing other than just like the world change i don't think anyone's i don't think it's like actively like we are trying to stamp out people who make jokes we don't like some people are i mean i definitely think some people are like okay maybe like you're trying to have this particular person but i don't think like they're like all right we're trying to change comedy as a whole it's like i don't really like that comedian and then well yes but also like what, you know, like Chappelle releases his standup and it's like the trans people don't like it.

Right. And it's, it's like that. I can understand if like trans people are like, I don't like that, but I do think that starts to influence other people because of like social media and the internet where it's like, now I can't, if I wanted to like tweet or talk about how funny I thought that joke was now I'm like, well, I'm going to be viewed or talk about how funny I thought that joke was, now I'm like, well, I'm going to be viewed as like a bigot because the trans people don't like this.

So even though I found it funny and I think Dave Chappelle is the master of this. And I think even if you're upset by his subject matter, you can't deny that like the way he crafts his work is well done. I think that that's where it starts to be like, well, now it's influencing other people who maybe not aren't even offended. So it's influencing the people who want to say it was funny. Yeah. I mean, who cares? Well, I think they care. I think that the comedians care when it's like,

I would bet that's that special was like one, one of, if not the most viewed special on Netflix. Do you think Chappelle really cares if you tweeted that that joke was funny or not? No, but then like the trickle down of like the lesser comedians who would who also have material about trans people or edgy, sexist, racist, whatever. Now they're not going to like make that next leap, you know, like Chappelle's fine. What? I think if it's good enough, they'll just do it. I don't know. I don't think that's true. I think eventually people will just like avoid it. It's like, I know I do.

I don't write the same shit I used to write. I don't make the same jokes I used to make. I don't write the same. I don't, I don't, I write, I write differently. No doubt about it. But I don't, I don't think I'm never actively thinking about someone else. I'm just like, I don't know. I think it's funny.

Like most of the stuff I've written, I don't think it's funny. Like I'm embarrassed by things I wrote in a text message 15 minutes ago. It's like, yes, I'm definitely different than I was, but I don't, maybe it is outside forces that are forcing me to change and trick me into it. But I just think that I just think things are different. I think different things are fine. Yeah. Like, I mean, I would have in the past that, that clip of the Jewish kids protesting for their playgrounds when they were riding around the park on their tricycles and shit, I would have had a field day with that, I don't know, five years ago.

I was like, I can't touch that anymore. So some of it I understand. That's probably not the worst thing. Yeah, I mean, it's about growth and maturity, and that's all well and good for me as a person. But I just don't think it's good for any comedians or entertainers who have that sense of humor. But if you thought something was really funny, if you thought you had a really good joke, you would have tweeted it. I really – I feel like I'm speaking for you, but I feel like in your head,

you were like, ah, it's not worth it. But if you were like, that's a home run, you'd still tweet it. I know what you mean. And like 99% of the time I still do that. But I also am at a point where I'm like, I got too much shit to worry about that. Like it's, it's not worth, I'm not saying that I don't think it's funny enough. I'm saying that if there's, like, is the juice worth the squeeze? Where I don't even, you know, I've written so many blogs. Which I think is a weird question to ask before you ever do anything.

Yeah, it is. But like, if I would, it depends on where you're at, I think. Like, if I was at a different point in my career, I'd probably be like, I gotta be fucking funny and this is good and I gotta make my name. And like, and now I'm like, well, I got, you know, I got too much to lose and too much to worry about that. A one millionth blog on the topic that I've written. So what were you going to say? Let's, I'll grade it right now. Let's see. We'll see if it was worth it. I don't even know. I didn't even let myself go down that angle. I mean, I, I, the thought of like a gang of Jewish kids riding on their razor scooters, like causing anarchy for their playgrounds, I definitely would have made jokes about their summer camps.

Definitely would have been saying, you know, if the parents can't send these kids away for the summer, that they got to at least be able to play in their playgrounds. Wait, you tweeted that? What? You tweeted that? Yeah, I know. But I would have been like, I would have gone in. I would have definitely gone in. That's what you said to tweet. Yeah, I know. And even that, I was like, and I got like heat for it. And I was like, you know,

could you imagine if I just wrote like a whole fucking blog about it? I mean, I, I, I just know that I, I definitely bite my tongue now. And I can't imagine I'm alone. And I do. So I do. It's not like you have to worry about being like canceled per se. Your career is going to be over. I think it's just like my sense of humor is not going to be the majority sense of humor anymore.

And I think there was a time where it was. I guess. Yeah. But that's also part of just getting old i know that's why i'm happy we got in and got out like when we did like not out because we're still doing it but like if we were starting now i don't know what i would do i'd have to like come up with a whole new like style because i feel like you just have a different style because you'd be younger. Yeah. Well, probably. I mean, but that's what I think when you're in that, when you're already established. You're just like being like, this is a sad feeling.

I'm washed up. I mean, I definitely feel that way. I definitely feel like, you know, I've like made my work and I'll evolve enough that we can keep doing this shit. But I feel like my best years are absolutely behind me. I mean, you're making me second guess this whole podcast. I mean, I, you know, what if all of a sudden, like, there was a movement that was just like, you know, any of these like jokes about like sex are not going to fly anymore because it's promoting, you know, whatever.

Like it's making people uncomfortable. I'd be like, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do now. Let them fucking read and met the whole thing. I don't think we talk about sex that much, but we probably just talk about things differently. It's, I don't know. I think, I think we're pretty good at evolving. I don't know where your self doubt is coming from, but I don't know.

I haven't found much. That's why I always just talk about myself. I'm very narcissistic and I can't get in I haven't found much. That's why I always just talk about myself. I'm very narcissistic and I can't get in trouble from talking about myself. I mean, they say that, you know, the easiest, like, the easiest jokes to make are the ones that are true. I think that's why Chris D'Elia kept on taking fucking roles where he's just playing himself. But yeah, I mean, ultimately, I think we're like smart enough to evolve

and we can always be funny enough. I'm just saying on the inside, I'm always like, well, I would have said this or said that. And I'll still find a way to be funny or entertaining. But I just know that I had to change. And I would imagine there's other people who feel the same way. And then there are guys at like the top, like Rogan, who was like, I don't fucking care to change. Or there's guys like Diaz, who was like i don't fucking care to change or there's guys like diaz who was just a crazy person he's just i'm whether or not you you are horrified by him whether or not you agree or

disagree with with like he should no longer you know he should be canceled um i think it's interesting to see a guy who's just like i don't care and you and you're not going to cancel me and it's like well what what next what next from the mob? If it's like, all right, you know, I, I, you threw your best punch and I just like, it didn't do anything. Do they just give up? Do you think people are going to keep trying to push Joey Diaz or are they just going to be like, we have very different timelines. I didn't, you sent me that one video. I have not seen Joey Diaz's name tweeted at all.

Oh, well, I mean, I didn't even see that video if it wasn't from you yeah no i mean i i definitely like follow along with like that whole comic circle and it might even be more that he is like defending himself from not as much of a of an outrage he's not he's a he's a well-known like legend in the comedy game but it's not like he's gonna be you know a well-known like legend in the comedy game, but it's not like he's going to be, you know, front page news where like, you know, your mom and your dad know, know what's going on, but in the podcasting world, in the comedy world, he's been around for like 50 years. So he's one of those kinds of like standup legends. And you know,

it's like, I have a good example of Twitter where you're like, I, first of all, Mike, maybe he's just trying to build the bravado that he's trying to be canceled. Like maybe it's not even happening. Because I honestly haven't seen that. Well, it's like the, we always say like people are saying and it's like two or three tweets, you know? I haven't dug in enough to like, see, see the opposite side,

like the people coming at him. But, but the point being that it's like, if there's like a whole thing is based on something neither of us have even seen? No, I mean, I've definitely seen it. I for sure have seen people like outraged about Joey Diaz. No doubt. I'm not, I'm just saying like, I didn't look into it the same way.

I read all the D'Elia accusations or whatever. I know that people are upset about that one video. I know that people like, I mean, he's crazy. He takes pictures with his nuts hanging out of his pants. He's kidnapped a man and went to jail for it. Like we're not talking about, you know, everyone thought that Chris D'Elia was like a squeaky clean guy and he's fucking not. And that's why it's a big deal. Whereas Diaz is more like the Rodman type, uh, and which we'll talk about Rodman with Eric Andre today. He has his own, uh, Dennis Rodman experiences that are fucking hilarious. But that's, I think it's all cut from the same cloth of like, when you're that crazy and you don't care and your audience doesn't overlap with anybody who's

outraged, it doesn't matter. They can scream and yell. And there's this group over here. It's kind of like politics too. I mean, it's like the people who who like trump just it doesn't matter if you expose him because they just don't care about it and so you can't really be canceled if there's no uh like overlap and there's no like concern from the person who's being canceled i think that's where we've always argued about like cancel culture whether it's real or not i think the biggest like uh piece of evidence that it's not real is if you just don't let it happen you can't get canceled that's like a newer thing but like yeah but yes if you know like you could have been canceled if you're like on an nbc show but if you have your own fanhood your own audience then yeah and right it's like because of technology and because of like the barriers of entry are gone now and shit. But I think more and more, it's like, I mean, what else could you say about Donald Trump at this point?

It's like they've said it all. And he's just like, nah. And everyone's like, well, fuck, what now? You know, like, OK, well, we found this one. Throw that allegation. Doesn't matter. It's it's like it's scary. I mean, we've seen Dave do it. There are certain bulletproof people. You just have to, you have to say it and you have to really be confident. Cause I think if you're saying like, I don't care, I don't care. I don't read that. I don't

care. It's like, we can tell you, we can tell you, you do care. But if you're truly, whether you're, you gotta be crazy, like a Diaz or a Trump, or you gotta be super successful, like a Rogan. And you're just like, whatever, dude, then you can't be. I agree with that. Right. It's like, it's kind of, I, I, I, I for sure. Like if I, if I could go back and redo my whole scandal, I wouldn't have, I would just wouldn't have like talked about it. I wouldn't have done two hours of radio. I wouldn't have let, I wouldn't have taken calls. I wouldn't have written blogs about it. I would have just been like, you guys don't know the fucking deal. You don't know what you're talking about.

And I'm not going to talk about this. And I think everything would have gone differently for me. Really? Yeah, for sure. I don't think that there's like, there was no reason for me to put all my business out there for people who don't know what the fuck is going on. And there was no reason for me to like, I can't paint that whole picture without being like, without sounding like I'm an asshole or out making people sound bad. So like, if you can't paint the whole picture, really, I just wouldn't fucking talk about it.

I think that would be, I don't obviously fucking know. But the, I think you were so open, like you weren't really open though before you had like pictures of of the kids, but that was as open as it was. Right. Yes. But again, like I just said, you have to really mean it. And I'm not like a Trump. I'm not like a Dave where I could be like, I don't give a fuck. Because I did care.

I was upset. I knew that I crossed the line I shouldn't have. But there's other factors involved. But unless you can truly say it and be like i don't care moving on but i think people would have saw through it that it's like he does care he is sad he is upset like it is a bad situation so you got to be like truly sociopathic to be able to do that well speaking of trump that motherfucker cared this weekend that was the best picture i ever seen in my life dude the one where he's like walking back from his plane?

Yeah, if you let someone see you with a tie untied around your neck, that is the universal sign for I am fucking depressed. Like it's that and the backpack. If you have a backpack on and one, I think we've talked about this before, one arm or whatever you call them, one strap is falling off your shoulder and you don't even care to put it back up. That's the other side of like – You just slow. Who have that happen are like three-year-olds coming home from getting bullied at kindergarten and me coming home from work.

Dude, I had this the other day. I had the backpack on but the zippers were undone. And it was like the kids iPads were going to fall out. And I was like gathering them up. And Caitlin was like, hang on, like, let me zip that up. And I was like, I don't fucking care. Like, just leave it as is. We'll talk about we got we'll talk about the Trump rally here. It's brought to you by Miller Lite. Your boy Donnie needed a cold one after that night. Whether you're going through some tough stuff at work or you're having just a hell of a time out there, you need to unwind, crack open a Miller Lite. It's the best way to do it. Whether times are happy, whether times are

tough, whether you're with friends or with enemies, it doesn't matter. Miller Lite will always make a situation a little bit better, a little bit more fun. And that's why we drink it here. That's why you guys drink it at home. Whether we're doing Friday night pints and you're kicking off the weekend, whether it's a Tuesday episode of the podcast and you want to enjoy it with us and with friends, Miller Lite is the go-to beer. Miller Lite is the best for five reasons. One, great taste. Two, less filling. Three, only 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Four, only 96 calories per 12 ounces. Five, it's brewed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which is the real deal. It's authentic. You don't want a beer that's brewed in, let's say,

Miami, Florida. You want a beer that's brewed in Wisconsin. Good people, salt to the earth, who know how to make their beer, who know how to make it enjoyable. So get your Miller Lite now. You can get it delivered right to your door. You can drink it curbside at these restaurants that are opening up, outdoor seating. You pull down your mask, you take a sip, and life is good the perfect example, I think, of like politics aside, this is it's just great theater. It's just the drama of it, the the storylines swirling around it, the tick tock kids trolling them, the ramp, the water. It's you know, when you're plugged into politics and you're really concerned about the world, like I probably should be as adult but i'm not but when you are it's probably this shit is all horrifying and none of it's funny for me i feel like i'm watching monday night raw feel like i'm watching a wrestler in the ring who's hyping the crowd up and getting cheap heat and looking for a pop from the crowd it's it is it's crazy how much it's become entertainment versus politics. What crowd? That was the highlight. That crowd was the saddest thing.

I've been in those shoes before. I've been a guy who's got to go on stage and there's no fucking crowd yet. What a Barstool Blackout tour. The ending days of the Blackout tour were sad scenes. And the beginning days. And it was like I wasn't really around for the end of days

but like i remember being dressed in a goddamn chicken outfit and i need to go on stage and dance for like a hundred people in a fucking place that's supposed to fit two thousand and that is there is no worse feeling in the world than looking out and just seeing empty not empty seats because that although there are lot of those, just empty floor space. And you're like, oh, this sucks. I'm a loser. You start questioning everything you've ever done in your life. And that's when you're in a chicken outfit.

I can't imagine when you run into a president and you're like, we're running for re-election. It was just, it was. Don't you think if you told me that like seven thousand people showed up to a presidential rally, I think that would be like a normal number. It's just that those fucking idiots started hyping up over a million. I don't think I don't think six thousand is a lot for a presidential. But like if you if you had like just like taped off the upper bowl and like everything else was i don't know i don't know enough about like like do do people like bang out arenas all the time

for a rally if that's the case then yeah like then you look stupid i also don't know but the amount of floor space that was available was downright depressing and like that's like just seeing that much pavement ever is not good. Like you should be sure if you're not if you can't fill the seats, you've got to be like you can't sit. You have to fill in the floor so that way you can at least frame the cameras and all that kind of shit. Dude, I saw a fallout boy at the Ryan Center URI on the tail end of Fall Out Boy. And they were like, everyone come on down to the floor. Someone should have said that. They should have had Pete Wentz on the mic before of Fall Out Boy. And they were like, everyone come on down to the floor. Someone should have said that.

They should have had Pete Wentz on the mic before Trump got up there. They're like, everyone get down here. Dude, that troll by the TikTok, by the youths, is an all-timer. I mean, the story goes they all signed up and requested tickets. They didn't buy tickets, but I guess you can request them so that it's kind of like an RSVP list.

They had over a million people expected. They had overflow seating outdoors. And I mean, the place was, it looked like, you know, looked like Citi Field in September. Like, eh, there's a handful of us here. That has got to be- I wouldn't go out. I would not go out.

Yeah. I read an article that said like behind the scenes he was flipping out like screaming at people like how the fuck does this happen and i read that uh jared kushner and someone else who like runs this shit well they weren't even there they were like they were nowhere to be found at this rally i wouldn't stand like it said like turn it into like a fucking meet and greet because you can do a meet and greet with 6,000 people. I'd be like, everyone meet me out back where there aren't fucking cameras. Right.

I'm not going on stage where like there's just fucking. And it's one thing, too, if it was like everyone was distanced and that's the kind of deal it was where it's like the social distancing rally and everyone's like spaced out apart and that kind of thing. This is one of those supposed to be like a fuck masks fuck social distancing party cram it in well that's what uh the pictures from biden's were you know in like a local gym with the six foot circles and everyone was separate that see that's slick because i think i don't think joe biden's expecting like crowds to come so then you got to be like well we're we're being safe here that's why it's like a small crowd. And whereas Trump went the opposite direction and still, because like, I mean, yeah, if you look at the pictures of Biden, it looks way sadder than even Trump's, but it was more about where the bar was set, according to Trump, where it was like, well, you fell way short of your expectations you know if you don't know like a florida panthers game

and then they and then i know that like i don't know how you combat this and maybe it was more like cnn was doing this i don't know what what networks it was but there was so many shots of the crowd with people like like yawning and just kind of like looking off in the distance like granted i know like a political speech is never going to be the most entertaining, but I do got to give Trump credit. That's where he like, I mean, when he took a sip of that water and then he's like, are you not entertained? And then he just throws the fucking glass on the floor. It's like, I mean,

the highlights of his political speech for me were the fucking sipping the water. And he did like 10 minutes on the fucking ramp. Be like, I ran down that ramp so fine. The last like 20 feet, I crushed it. Like, what? That's the problem, too, though, is that like the rallies used to be entertaining. And it was like, we're going to build a wall and we're going to get back all the time. And now it's like, I can walk down ramps. Right. Big difference between, uh, between

rallies. The, uh, one of the pod save guys, I don't know if it was Tommy or John had said, uh, you know, the first time around, whether we liked it or not, there was this message of like, I'm an outsider. I'm not a lifelong politician. I'm breaking the mold. I'm flipping the script. I'm changing the game. He's like this, this time there's no message. It's just like, I can run down a ramp. I can drink water and I can use ramps. And then I don't know if it was serious or not. We're living in a world right now where I, I feel like I'm pretty internet savvy. Got a good sense of humor, good sense of people. And now we're at a point where I can't tell what's real and what's fake anymore.

There was that tweet floating around that night that said, like, the Democrats said he couldn't drink water. And look at him. He drank that water. Greatest president ever. And I laughed. I was like, that's funny. And then I clicked on it. It was like, she's a Republican. She's conservative. She followed it up with more like love for Trump. And I'm like, this is real.

And then they do this thing that the right side does this thing where they like are they pretend everything's a joke. Like Donald Trump saying, i told my people to stop testing for corona and the numbers will stop going up and people like that was clearly a joke like i don't think it fucking was and i don't think that she was joking when she said he can drink water like he he showed them i i it is pretty concerning where everything has to be explained when like his uh his platform and the reason everyone liked him is a guy who says what he I am. I, I, it is pretty concerning where everything has to be explained when he, like his, uh, his platform and the reason everyone liked him as a guy who says what he means. It's, it's the most,

he's the president with like the most explanations following statements and actions. He says what he means. What are you talking about? Yeah. I mean, it's, it's like, you know, when you have to explain the joke, it's not a good one when you have to like issue a statement about all your statements. It's it ain't, it ain't going well. Yeah. There was another one this weekend that, that put me in a pretzel from Sarah Parkak Parsack. She's like a historian. She's into space or handles at indie from space.

So she's like into this alien world. And she said, I'd like to see one of the most racist shows on TV, ancient aliens canceled permanently. It's an entire show that exists to discredit the extraordinary artistic and architectural accomplishments of past and current peoples. The time has come. Hashtag cancel Ancient Aliens. And so I quote tweeted it like being like, this is such a privileged human thing to say. Just because we say, you know say humans matter, all lives matter. That means extraterrestrials matter.

I thought it was all a joke. And then she goes on like, could it be aliens? No, it fucking isn't. I'm blocking any racists who dare appear on my timeline. I'm using my platform to get them deplatformed. I should have pushed harder before. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure this is a joke, but there's enough people in there being like, are we being serious right now? That, I mean,

I think we've just left the planet earth here. I don't, pun intended. I don't know what's what anymore. I can't, I can't keep up. I think that's crazy. I also don't disagree with it. How about that? I think it's very rude to give aliens credit for shit that we did. Well, it's also, I don't know if it's a we thing. I think it's like a slaves thing, which is even worse. I meant

homo sapiens. Yeah, but you know what I mean? It's like even worse that it's like, no, it wasn't aliens. It was millions of people enslaved and forced to do labor. We should probably talk about the truth behind it because there's some issues to dive into there as well but uh i i mean what what do you think do you do you give uh aliens credit for any of that stuff or you think it's all human i'll give aliens credit for shit fuck aliens what do you think stonehenge is that one always throws me

for a loop rocks yeah like how do they i mean they're fucking like immovable they're so huge i've never seen stonehenge well i've seen pictures of it obviously you know what it looks like they like they said that there's there's no i kind of just thought they were the size of like three humans they're very big they're very heavy and the main thing is like um i think they're made of like limestone or granite whatever rock they're made of there's none of that for like miles and miles and miles away so it's like it just shouldn't like that type of rock just like shouldn't even be there and then when you look at like the way they're you know positioned and stationed and whatever it's like it just wouldn't really make any sense i've always heard it's a sundial, right? Yeah. It's,

it's like designed for like the way the sun hits it and all that shit. Um, but it is funny when, you know, it's like the aliens must've made the pyramids. And then it was just like, no, there was just like a,

a assembly line of like thousands of slaves. So there you go. So it could be the same thing with stone edge. So you don't think aliens, is there anything on the planet alien that you think? I think we have ships and stuff, but I don't think they made anything. All of those

things are just monuments. They're just things built by people. I think it's just coincidence. It's like I guess it's like I don't know. It's like religion. It's like when you can't explain things, you're just like, I don't know. God did it. Like, like, like when they, you know,

it was the great flood from God. It was like, nah, y'all just experienced your first tsunami. Like you just, when your brain can't wrap your mind around these things, it's like, yeah, we'll just come up with the, with a, like a loophole. But yeah, it is. It is. What is it? Occam's razor where it's just like the simplest explanation or the easiest explanation and it's just like the one aliens that's easy we'll just stop it for you to say it's like i think there was a comedian who had something about how like uh uh conspiracy

theories are just male versions of um astrology science where it's like oh that's because this is happening because like mercury mercury's oh that's because this is happening because like mercury mercury's retrograde like actually this is happening because the illuminati is a deep state and it's like it's just happening because it's happening i don't know i'm i'm a simple-minded man i'm just like yeah it's it's just a coincidence did you see um so i did a podcast on mail time and i listened to wind of change have you heard about that one It's like a new, it's like kind of like a new like serial in the sense that it's like an eight part documentary podcast. It's not nearly as big as serial because like nothing else is.

But it's, there was a song in the 80s called Wind of Change written by the Scorpions, the same guys who sing, rock you like a hurricane, that song. Wind of Change, it's not like as big in America, but overseas, it's one of the biggest rock ballads ever. And the conspiracy theory is that the CIA wrote it for them and gave it to them because they were a German band who sung English. So they were kind of like the perfect blend. And it's all about wind of change and like basically like, you know, culture moving and changing in the right direction. And they and the thought is that the CIA made it for them to help fight communism during the fall of the Berlin Wall. And like it's a whole like eight part series that it's actually really cool when you when you learn about like what the cia does it's kind of still unconfirmed whether or not the the cia wrote this but like did you know that the cia really uses

mission impossible masks like the latex like rip it off like that's a real thing to the point that uh the woman who there was a woman so without trying to redo the whole podcast I did on mail time, Tony Mendez, the dude from Argo, Ben Affleck's character in Argo, his wife did was also in the CIA. And she did these masks and was in the in the room with George Bush one and was like explaining to him what the CIA is doing with masks. And like, he didn't, he, he had no idea. And at the end she like ripped it off and was like, it's me. And like crazy shit like that. Did you know that, uh, the, the Soviets once lost a, um, a nuclear sub, it sunk to the bottom of the ocean. The government went and got Howard Hughes and they like commissioned him to make this monster fucking submarine called the Gomar. And they said, tell people that you're like exploring the ocean for precious minerals.

And he went down there and he and they used like a crane, like like a claw game. And they fucking stole a Soviet submarine. Like. And Argo became a movie. There is some shit going on. That's like when they was in Nicaragua when the government sold,

buying coke to give money to the rebel forces. Which then led to the crack epidemic in inner cities. And who was the reporter? Gary Webb, um, like uncovered it all.

And he was then like, what was it? He was fired by his newspaper. And then he got like blackballed and shit, right? Blackballed. Yeah. Family left him and he killed himself.

Right. And it was like, that's all pretty heavily outside forces kind of pushing at it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but what's the tweet where it's like, Hey, remember the Panama papers when we found out that every rich person in the world is involved in a global scheme to hide their money and hide their wealth and, and, and nothing happened after that. Right. I mean, I vaguely remember that. I don't even know the details of that. Right. I mean, I vaguely remember that.

I don't even know the details of that. It's like someone replied. That's not true. Nothing didn't happen. The reporter who who uncovered it all was murdered. But yeah, I mean, the Clintons are murdering people. Epstein was real. I guess time goes on. I start to believe conspiracy theories more than, you know, you would think as you get older and smarter and learn, you realize those things are silly. It's kind of the opposite direction. I'm like, oh, wait a minute. I am looking at a tsunami. We were like, that's happening and there's nothing I can do. Yeah. So why even? I'm not even going to get upset about it. The Tony Bendez, his wife on that podcast said that they declassified argo because they were like we need a win we need like people to know like usually conspiracy theories are all like awful right this was like we we do these crazy cool things where we like

get like submersed into culture and we're doing it like for good and that was the whole idea behind wind of change it's like you know it's not just like conspiracy theories, like we murdered this guy. It's conspiracy theories. Like we wrote this song that, that encouraged people to like, you know, chase freedom. And it's a good one. It's cool.

But conspiracy theories, you heard of randonauting? Randonauting, like random astronauts? It's no. That's, that was what my brain went to. Randonauts. Randonauts is brought to you by Teej Hanley. I got it right here. I keep it right on my desk because I just consistently pop this open and put on the eye cream. It says a.m. and p.m. Well, guess what? At any given point, it's always a.m. or p.m. So I pop it on my eyes, try to get rid of those dad bags.

Uh, happy father's day to me here. Here's what you get for father's day, a book and your face looks like shit from becoming a dad. Woo. Uh, and that's where seed, that's where teach Hanley comes in with, uh, they got creams, they've got serums, they've got washes and lotions and it's all facial skincare for men to help you look your best, help you stay looking young. I put out a – it was our anniversary, by the way, John. Happy anniversary. Eight years of KFC Radio last week.

And I posted that. That's why I didn't know because, tell you what, no one loves an anniversary like people at Barstool Sports. We do. Six months, six weeks, two days. I've been here for a year. I don't know how fucking long I've been here. Honestly, there was a couple recently. You've been here for the show? What's that?

You've been eight years of the show? Yep. So does that mean I've been here for like 11 years? Because we definitely didn't start this until Dan came. I've been here. We started started I started in 12 I think Dan was here in 13 so no but I only did like 20 episodes before you came on and then we probably did maybe like a handful more before Dan came on so yeah it was June

of 12 and then I think Dan was here like early 13 uh but yeah you've been here since you've been here for 10 years i've been here for 11 crazy and then you got people out here who are like you know like editing uh like social media clips being like it's my two year shut the fuck up um i think what your five-year anniversary is like wood and like there's a reason why it's like five years is not a lot. So you get like a piece of wood, anything under five, like we ain't doing it. All right. Um, but yeah, so we posted the, uh, uh, remember when Hank made that like a documentary for us leading up to

couch by couch West, which like, we didn't realize at the time it was, it was the end of KFC radio with Dan and we didn't really like, I fully intended on continuing to do it with Dan. And then I learned like that weekend, how much PMT was going to take up his time. And I was like, well, we're here doing the show. So let's just make it like the finale for us. And so we had this cool documentary that Hank made and kind of tied it all nicely together. But there's, you know, footage of us from eight years ago, and even just like four years ago or whatever the date was when we were doing Couch by Couch West.

And people were like, boy, you guys have aged not so great. I disagree, by the way. I think we might look older, but I think I know I look better than I did. Maybe I look older, but I definitely look better than I was. I have some facial hair now to hide my fat. Yeah, that's clutch. That's something every guy learns like around 30 that it's like, well, I can just cover this up

with something naturally. But you don't have to cover it up when you got Teej Hanley. We've got all the skincare you need. It's all sleek. It's not like you're wearing makeup. It comes with this free dop kit, as Bougie Feidelberg would say,

where you got a hook, you can hang it on. So, uh, if you want your face to look, uh, to look a little bit better, then you got to go get Teej Hanley. Uh, let me find the deal for you real quick. When you go to Teej Hanley, it's T I go to Teej.com T I E G E.com slash KFC. And you'll get the free bag and you can get started for just $25. No extra costs for shipping. You cut out the middleman gets delivered directly to you with the free cool

bag. That's T H T I E G E.com slash KFC. Tell me about these randonauts. All right. So it's basically like you go, okay. I'm just going to read you the opening paragraph of what is, you may not have heard about randonauts before. All right. So it's basically like you go, okay, I'm just going to read you the opening paragraph of what is, you may not have heard about random thoughts before. Random thoughts are a community of people who are exploring the use of random number generators to find blind spots and experiment with mind matter interruptions, interactions.

Wait, wait, wait, hang on back at it real quick. Random numbers to find blind spots, like blind spots in what? Like, what does that mean? I don't know i i'm not super well versed it's like it's it's nonsense really it's like you find voids and anomalies in the world around you and then it's an app that sends you there bro as a dude who's who's on season three of lost i'm in i mean is Lost. It sounds like, you know, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. It's a person who explores both the application and impact of randomness in the experience of everyday reality. This exploration into randomness can be carried out in several different ways. There are two primary experiments with randomness that are currently exploring blind spots and mind-matter interactions.

Below are short examples of each. Blind spots. A blind spot is a place in the real world that you would never normally encounter through any chain of usual experience we as humans tend to live structured patterned lives our everyday our everyday experience throughout the social and geographical world is guided by our internal mental makeup which may contain some some shared of determined determinism when i when navigating the world, there is determinism, can't get that one, in your actions,

making it hard to break out of your usual patterns. Using the fact of the bot, random odds can generate a random coordinate location in an attempt to find blind spots and uncover what lies outside the boundaries of everyday casual experience. The reason I bring this all up is TikTokers used it to find a dead body.

And it was, and now the conspiracy, I guess, is that this is all a ploy to really find just murdered bodies. They found a dead body in a suitcase and called the police and the police came. This is very real. The New York Daily News is reporting on it. It's very real that the new york daily news is reporting on it um it's very real they found the plot not that it's it's what are the what are the numbers they're like coordinates like like yeah like longitude latitude like that sort of shit no i don't know this is like um when they talk about mining bitcoins i'm like i can i can repeat it to you but i don't really know what that means.

Right, right, right. Dude, but this really feels like loss. It's like they found the island using fucking numbers and shit. Wow. I was looking at it. I was looking at the – so it's not all evil. Lou was texting me about it and that it's the scariest thing he's ever seen. So he texted me this morning.

So then I was doing some research. If Lou's scared, it's the scariest thing he's ever seen so he texted me this morning so then i was doing some research and a lot of me scared if lou's scared it's fucking crazy he said he won't even download the app um because like but it's i was looking at the reddit of it and like a lot of it is kind of just silly stuff so what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to meditate you open the app and you meditate and you you what kind of experience you want, be it fun, goofy, scary, whatever. And there was one group of people who said that they had meditated on a spot that would initiate their fight or flight response. And one guy meditated this field and that's exactly where it took them. And they found crop circles in the field and then they found this white burning light that they couldn't uh and it sounded like pigs squealing

and they couldn't look directly at it so they were like squinting their eyes trying to see it and then the white light just rushed at them and they freaked out and ran and peeled out and yada yada now there have been other people who like wanted to get over a breakup and it took them. It took this girl to a spot where it was a dumpster over the address three. And it was like three was her boyfriend's number. She sounded like she was a high school girl. And like three was her boyfriend's number and dumpsters. She's like, OK, the world tells me that he's a piece of trash.

Manor trash. This is the most elaborate manor trash ever. And then there was another one like a girl meditated on her dad and it took her to his grave and there was a coyote sitting on it and her dad's nickname was dog and it was like all this like i don't know it's all supposed to be random stuff yeah and when you say so they meditated and then something turns out these numbers like an app or whatever it turned out like a destination to go to that which that makes sense that's kind of cool because it's like yeah i i very much am a creature of habit i would not go

outside of anywhere unless i was told to and like go explore I mean, this feels a little bit like a Ouija board though, in the sense of like, you know, you can be some numbers and I interpret it to be cross streets or an address or whatever. I show up and it's a brick house and I'm like, well, it's sturdy. So this is made of brick. So this means like I have a foundation, you know, like you can make it fit no matter what. But honestly, sometimes like, I think those things are scams,

but also it's like, um, people need like a placebo effect in their head to move on or to say yes or say no or whatever. And if all you're doing is like presenting them with some shit for them to like give themselves that confirmation or whatever, then it's, then it's effective. It's like a scam, but it can be like a productive scam. Yeah. I, I, I don't, I haven't found out what's so scary about it yet. Obviously the TikToker thing, people say it's a human trafficking ring. don't understand how that is look what i'm doing with my hands coffee is the

worst why do people drink coffee um the uh i i i i've investigated for like an hour or two this morning and i haven't found clear-cut evidence about why it would be human trafficking or a murder ring but the the thing that made it take off was the TikTokers. I guess TikTokers were like looking for death or whatever. And it took them to the world, bro. And it took them to this, this suitcase with just,

they said they opened it and the smell was overwhelming and it was just a bag. And honestly, as, as we're, as I'm like talking through this, this whole thing, I mean, this sounds like a TikTok like hoax for like TikTok views, right? But it's been around that this whole thing, I mean, this sounds like a TikTok hoax for TikTok

views, right? But it's been around. But I mean, the police did come and there was a dead body. That's confirmed 100%. There was a dead body. That changes things. According to a New York Daily News article. But that might be where people are

saying it's human trafficking if it was like a small, like on the border of like fucking mexico or some shit and it looks like it was trafficking nick why why did you say serial killer make the app is that what happened no no i'm saying like what like we're going back to conspiracy theories what if just a serial killer made this app it was made by an australian it's been around ran it on he's been around for a long time it's not australia australia is uh that's one of those spots at least in every tv show from lost to uh the leftovers that australia has like some geological like vibes going on down there where you know it's like a special spot on the planet earth uh that outback is there's there's some shit going on in the outback no doubt yeah uh oh i like this one man this is like i mean i i just did a an episode on the the fens treasure like the treasure hunt this is just like a digital new numerological

treasure hunt really you might find a fucking dead body you might find you know the cure for your breakup but you're gonna find something we gotta dig deeper into this one yeah well i mean lou has me terrified lou is he's so good at getting me so scared and then and then do you have any other articles he's like no i just wanted to terrify you like well what can i do with this information drop a stick of dynamite right here and let it be i as i hear so like i'm thinking about what I learned and when to change, I hear about Randonauts. I'm starting to believe in conspiracy theories more and more. And like, you tell me, you tell me, explain to me how there's not, if conspiracy theories

are not true, when all signs are pointing to Dave Portnoy buying the Mets. I mean, you can't tell me that this world is not like predetermined and there's not someone pulling strings if Dave fucking Portnoy is going to be an owner of the Mets. I mean, you know, like I saw your tweet earlier, but you know, it's gone further than that, right? Yeah. be an owner of the mets i mean you know like i saw your tweet earlier but you know it's gone further than that right yeah i just saw dave's tweet saying so for those who don't know mike ripoli owner of body armor barstool sponsor billionaire all around forces with dave right yep all around like together which is crazy i mean ripoli is like awesome because like we did

an ad read for body armor the other day where we just like kept interrupting Dave and like fucking around during the ad read. And we were saying how sales was going to be like, all right, we need to do a make good. And that Ripoli was going to be like, that was fucking awesome. That was the best ad read of the year. So he gets it. He knows our vibe. He's a billionaire. He has now joined up with the A-Rod and J-Lo conglomerate, which you also can't tell me.

I don't know if those guys had a relationship ahead of time, but I feel like that's a Barstool thing as well. Like the Corp and Dan and A-Rod and Rapoli, and there's an introduction. Those guys are chatting. Rapoli wants to join that conglomerate, which is going to buy the Mets. And then Dave tweets,

an anonymous source has asked me if I'd like to be involved with an anonymous professional sports team if they anonymously buy the franchise. I wouldn't have to relocate. Need to consider. I mean, Dave's going to buy the Mets. Yeah, he is. He's going to buy the Mets. Like, I'm still holding out hope.

I love Steve Cohen. I feel like having a single owner who's the richest man in the world, basically, and the richest richer man in the league is better but short of that Rapoli is that dude and I also feel like for once the deal with the devil would be aligning with my interests like I've always I've always hated everything that Dave does other than like Owen Barstool and be in the same business which admittedly is a big one but but everything else, I'm like, I don't care about your teams. I don't care about your likes and, and like interests. So you're going to keep doing all these things. Like I'm never, I don't want to buy a horse.

I don't want to be in a net world. I don't want to do anything. Dave does except for the Mets. Would you think he would torture you with it? I feel like, um, like how, like he, like if he were going to like torpedo the team and yeah, but I mean, his, his financial interests and his like ego of being a sports owner, he's not going to be thinking about me. He doesn't give a fuck about me. You know what I mean? I'm nothing compared to that. So like he'll,

he's going to do a good job in it. And actually what I'll do is I'll torture him you know if he's making like good moves for the mets i'd be like davey's fucking like working for me like davey's fucking making me happy all of a sudden but i mean right there's no way like how could he torture me other than just being like you're a fan of me i'd be like whatever i don't care dude you know right yeah no there's like yeah unless he willingly is awful, which Dave wouldn't do. Cause his ego is too big for that. Right.

Is I, I, I think if you were going to have an owner in the world, like Dave Ford is a good one to have. He wants to win. Yeah. He's like Steinbrenner-esque. We always say you need a guy who like, doesn't like worry about the business and just wants to win. I mean, you know how much, you know, he's got a lot of money,

but it's pennies when we're talking about owning teams. So, but I think Rapoli's smart enough that he would be like, you know, you own like a half a percent, but we're going to make you like the face of like. Jay-Z, Jay-Z like barely owned the Brooklyn Nets. Everyone thought Jay-Z owned 100% of the Nets. And Dave, A-Rod, and J-Lo, that's a fucking monster squad. And I know people would probably think, they probably would torture me in the sense of Dave is now the Mets

and all that shit, but I am A-OK with all that. It's not like I had dreams of owning and being involved with the Mets. I just had dreams of them fucking winning. So if Dave wants to be like at the press conferences and all that shit, like go ahead. As long as you're also at the parade, brother, that's all that matters to me. But I mean, you can't tell me that this is all just random. You can't tell me that the world just like unfolds and like, that's, that's it. It's, uh, I feel like we're living in Westworld. This is like, I don't even know. Are you guys real? You guys,

I feel like it's Truman show. I feel like it's Westworld. I feel like this is all a setup for you're all watching me from home. And it's like, well, what else can we fuck with this guy? How about his boss now owns his favorite team? Like, sure. Why not? Season 35 of the KFC show where his favorite team like sure why not season 35 of the kfc show where his fucking team is owned by his enemy boss why fucking not so we'll keep uh we'll keep tabs on that by the way if they're like going as far as saying like gauging interest there i feel like overall there's a lot of truth to them buying it in general.

You know what I mean? Like a lot of these names are floated out there and it's not really serious, but if you're going as far to talk to Dave Portnoy about it, they've got to be heavy in the mix, but a little, you know, you're asking someone who you're like, it's not a secret. You're asking someone who you know is going to talk about it, Which also maybe that maybe he's, you know, being used in that regard for something. But also it leads me to believe that they're they're, you know, they're going down this road. I also just don't know, though. God bless him. I feel like I have way more ties to that crew, even as as, you know, fringe as I might be than I do Steve Cohen. But God bless anybody who tries to get in a bidding war with Steve Cohen.

If he's like still in the mix and you know what? The fucking Wilpons are going to end up making out. The Mets are going to sell for like 7 billion because Rapoli and fucking Steve Cohen are out there measuring each other's dicks. As long as it's anybody else. I've always said that, but it's like, I put my money where my mouth is. If it's Dave Portnoy, fine. As long as it that, but it's like, I put my money where my mouth is. If it's Dave Portnoy, fine. As long as it's not Jeff Wilpon, that's all

that matters. Although, wait a minute, now I'm thinking Dave is such a fucking Wilpon dick rider that that's how Dave would torture me. He'd like sit in a conference room and be like, why don't we keep Jeff on, guys? I think Jeff's a good guy. Why don't we still let him be in the mix? I think Dave likes to bust their balls about that, but I think Dave knows.

He knows, which is, that would actually, see, this is where I think I end up being able to torture him. Cause if Dave has to finally admit like, oh yeah, no, that guy's a fucking idiot. We're not going to deal with him. Like, yes. See, see you fucking morons who thought he believed it all this time. Like vindication, vindication for your boy. But yeah, it But yeah, I feel like you're all just Westworld hosts, which is why we're now going to get into our HBO bracket and our top fives for today.

Rotten Tomatoes put together a bracket, a tournament for best HBO show of all time. And it was left up to voting. And surprise, surprise, the democratic process doesn't fucking work. Look no further than the White House. Look no further than this dumb tournament on Twitter. So we're going to break down our top five HBO shows

and run through this bracket. It's brought to you by SimpliSafe. The safest and easiest way to keep your home and your loved ones happy is simply safe. Uh, you don't have to sign up for years on end. You don't have to have a technician come to your house and install all the equipment. Uh, you don't have to break the bank trying to keep everything safe. Simply safe makes it all easy, convenient, affordable, uh, done, done. You can do it by yourself in the house. Um, and it keeps you safe from burglaries, floods, done, done. You can do it by yourself in the house. And it keeps you safe from burglaries,

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But you're going to because it's ranked the best overall home security of 2020. No fees, no contracts, and no technicians. You can do it all yourself with just a little bit of money per month. SimpliSafe.com slash KFC Radio. All right, so let's get into it. The Rotten Tomatoes bracket of best HBO series. So, I mean, I guess I'll cut right to the chase for the end here. The final four was The Wire, Game of Thrones, Westworld, and Chernobyl,

which I think Westworld is bad. I enjoy – I don't like Westworld. Fuck off, Westworld is bad. I enjoy, I don't like Westworld. Fuck on Westworld. But I like, Westworld should have lost literally every step of the way. Who do they face? I'm trying to inhale. All right. So Westworld beats Deadwood in the first round.

Nope. I mean, nope. No. Deadwood didn't have like the grand finale it deserved but I mean the early seasons of Deadwood is some of the best tv period then it faces the good pope the good pope is I guess young pope I don't even know so I I would probably put Westworld I did watch Westworld at one point I do like the idea of it. I don't know anything about the young Pope. I think it's just like the Pope is

fucking and he's like a bad guy, right? I would have done it there. And in the bottom half of the bracket, Veep should have easily It should have been Veep versus Curb to come out of that bracket. And to be honest, I think most people would pick Curb there.

I'm more of a Veep guy, but I'd be okay with either of it. But the rest of that bracket, extras, getting on, I don't even know what years and years is. I mean, they probably should have just made this tournament smaller, to be honest. There's some names here. I don't know any. I don't know uh tracy altman i don't know that black lady sketch uh you know there's some names here that i really don't know um but whatever that doesn't mean they're bad i'm just

saying that it's not like all of these uh these shows are like classic um so westworld and westworld made it to the finals it's the final is thrones versus westworld it's a bad list it's a and again it's not no fault of rotten tomatoes i'm a fan of rotten tomatoes it is it's recency bias is what it is you know what i mean it's like westworld is happening right i mean westworld it's crazy this is like when i uh when a team like floods the all-star balloting and and some dude who sucks makes the team. I don't know. Westworld stans must be out here. Even fans of Westworld, I think, agree that seasons two and three suck.

And by the way, it's only two seasons. It's not like Game of Thrones ended poorly, but it gave us several years of almost like a decade of good entertainment. So I can get it to be like defiantly into westworld when the jury is still very fucking much out and basically jury's out i think it's a bad i think it had one good season where it was like whoa this is wild and then after that i think it was it was a bad show right right uh so i'm looking here. Uh, the top half of the bracket is the wire beats, uh, band of brothers, which beat Barry. That's a monster top half.

In the wake of the wire is band of brothers, Barry eastbound and down. Um, and girls is another big one that's in there. And then, you know, a bunch of other shows that sharp objects. Did you ever watch sharp objects? No, I don't think it is the worst. It was, um, the redhead, uh, not, yeah. Amy Adams. Oh yeah. It was some book adaptation that people love the book.

And I remember it came on the heels of like, uh, you know, when like one of your favorite shows, I think it was Game of Thrones. I think it was like the Game of Thrones finale hit. And then the new Sunday night 9 p.m. show to fill its slot is Sharp Objects. And you're like, oh, this must be good. And it fills my same time slot. Here we go. And I mean, it was like the worst show I've ever watched in my life.

It was I definitely didn't finish it because I remember being like this is absolutely atrocious that beat uh no big little lies beat that i like big little lies i got a kick out of that one uh barry i think is is awesome when does barry come back i i can't wait i would imagine not for a while i would think if i had to guess they were in filming during covid okay so they got a while i i that's a complete guess but i've seen band of brothers here and there i never like sat down and committed to the series i mean you know it's it's one of those it's like saving private ryan in tv form uh people are gonna love it um so you know that's the thing about hbo is you got everything ranging from like a silly 30 minute comedy with Kenny Powers ranging to like basically like almost a World War Two, like documentary in TV form. But obviously, I'm surprised The Wire didn't. The Wire losing to Westworld is insane to me.

Doesn't make any sense. It's just got to be a time thing, right? I think it's just like, I don't know, maybe Westworld fans are huge followers of Rotten Tomatoes. There's no reason why The Wire should have lost. And I don't even like, The Wire's not going to be on my top five list because I've never seen it. I've tried to watch it three times. I'm sure sometime in the future I will try again.

It has not hit with me. I apologize. I'm sorry. I haven't gotten through what I was supposed to get. I'm sick of apologizing for it. It's just like, I, there's enough of us. We are Legion. There's enough people who are like, I don't quite like see it the same way you do as like this masterpiece work of art. Um, we, you know, what's funny about the wire, the individual like clips I've seen, like, uh, the clip of like Omar walking through the streets and the, and the people like scatter. I'm like, that was, that was fucking awesome. And, uh, the clip recently after the caller daddy drama happened, Trent blogged stringer bell and, uh, and Barksdale on the, on the roof talking to each other and like without even knowing the dynamic of the show you can tell it's two dudes who came up together who now are not like aligned anymore and they know

like it's going to run its course and i was like that was an awesome scene that was i get it like even even having limited knowledge that was really well done but i put you put it all together and i just i don't i'm not captivated like hour per hour like episode per episode and i i just can't do it anymore it's like i i also feel like shame like the same thing with the godfather i don't care that i don't like the godfather anymore and you can't convince me of otherwise i think i've finally gotten there with the wire i'm just like sorry i don't like it uh the other side of things uh watchman was in the elite eight and got beat by game of thrones I think if Watchmen had more seasons behind it, I think Watchmen has a chance to take this whole thing down.

I think Watchmen has a chance to be like the best HBO show ever. If they have enough. It's not going to be though. Yeah. I was going to say like if they could keep it going and they had like enough material, it would be, I mean, that, that was awesome season of TV. Did you watch the whole season?

Yeah. I didn't. I enjoyed what I watched, but I didn't was an awesome season. Did you watch the whole season? Yeah. I didn't. I enjoyed what I watched, but I didn't see the whole season. I think you have to watch. Did you watch the movie? No. Yes, but like in theaters. Okay.

So there's a fifth. I'll have the KFC Radio Twitter tweet this out if you're into Watchmen. You want to watch Watchmen. There's like a 15 to 20 minute YouTube that does like a recap of the graphic novels, which is basically the movie as well. And you need that. Like, I remember thinking, boy, if I didn't watch this, I would be like, I would be out on this show because I wouldn't know what's going on. But when you do watch that and you know what's up, it helps tremendously. And then on the bottom half, Chernobyl beat True Detective and Silicon Valley and Ali G Show. But I love Chernobyl. I think there's like a difference though in like a,

well, I guess True Detective is fine because it's in my mind, basically one season. So it's like one season of Chernobyl versus one season of True Detective. But I feel like Chernobyl was almost like half TV show, half documentary in the sense that it really was just like a historical event, whereas True Detective was like a completely, like, you know, fictional creative work of art, basically. But, all right, so that's like where the bracket's at with the voters. We're going to do our top fives. Start us off.

I definitely started last time because last time I thought like i'm starting a lot so i'm gonna give it to you okay all right um in that sense i am gonna go it's tough because i'm gonna be true to, to, Oh man, God, the ending of Game of Thrones fucked everything up. It really, really did. But if we're talking about like viewing HBO, Oh man, I can't know. Can you go first? Can you go first? This is the one time I don't want the number one pick. Like when I think of watching an HBO show, there was never a better run and more, uh, episodes that I was gassed up for

and into, uh, than Game of Thrones. And while it ended badly, almost every show ends badly. So I'm not going to hold it against it because a lot of the shows it's up against just haven't had the, the, uh, they haven't got, had to go through that yet you know what i mean like maybe these other shows are gonna have a fucking horrible ending too so i will go with thrones just for the those those episodes here and there the uh the winds of castamere and the red wedding and the the sept blowing up and all the greatness that blackwater bay is my favorite blackwater bay all that shit. I mean,

I can't think of, there's not many episodes, not many other TV shows where I can pick out like that premiere, that finale, that episode, that moment. So I will begrudgingly, but I will take a game of Thrones.

All right. That's pretty good. Like all the points are fair. It's the show. They, I mean, we talk about it a lot but god they ruined and lost so much money so much money with that um i'm gonna go with number one the sopranos i

have been watching the sopranos it is one i've quietly done it during quarantine wow season four it is it is the exact opposite of the wire for me because like the Sopranos is a tough one to start because it was like I just seen so much fucking Italian stuff I get it the Italian I know but you're saying it's different I did just like it still fucking hits like I was in in 20 minutes in episode one I was I, yeah, this is awesome. All right. Well, that's good for me to know. Cause I, I went back and did I've seen that first episode and it didn't grip me like that. So I feel like I might just,

I don't know whether it's cause I don't like Italian people. I don't know whether it's cause I, I, I mean, I just, I get it. It's the mob. And I know this, you know, it had a twist of like the therapist and all that shit, but you know, I shit, but I don't quite find it to be revolutionary. But at the same time, I do acknowledge. There's a difference between, I think people usually get mad at me. It's like, I'm not saying it's a bad show. I know it's well done.

I know it's well acted. It's not for me. So in that case, why are you yelling at me? It's just like, I'm telling you I I don't like, you know, this color. I don't like this flavor. It just is what it is. You know, the, what was I going to say? The night we started it, I was very tired. So I probably did like two episodes and then kind of rolled over in bed and kind of went to sleep.

My girlfriend watched four more and lied about it in the morning and was awesome. Yeah. She, she went so far as to go back on the on the hbo go so like if i had hit play we would have been on episode wow wow but like she was right she'd never seen it either she was also like yeah this is if i if i was like sitting there third wheeling it with you guys i would probably watch it and get into it and have a discussion and all that to me like my favorite tv shows are the ones that i can have the discussion about and theories and all that shit me just like sitting here by myself watching you know i'm i'm probably it's probably not gonna hit for me you know yeah but it's one like i'm not having much

discussion about it and it's still one where i'm like i can't wait to get to bed tonight and how many other how many seasons like six i to say six. I don't know for sure, but I want to say six. All right. I will go for my second pick. I will bounce over to comedy and I'll take Curb.

Ah, you son of a bitch. Yeah. I mean, I was basically going to be, actually, you got to make it easier for me because I was going to decide, well, you know what?

I'm actually going to throw a curveball here. Nah, never mind. You were just a kombucha girl. Yeah. Nah, I'm going to stick with gas. I'm going to be. It was one or the other. I was going to have a hard pick between

deep and curveball. Well, let me tell you something. If I'm picking what I watch the most, like I didn't pick up Curb till later because I think Curb's pretty old, you know, and I remember thinking I don't even think I had HBO at one point or something like that was the problem. And then I remember thinking, like, I've already seen this with Costanza and Seinfeld. So it took me a little while to hop on Curb. Also, Curb experiencing kind of the Game of Thrones effect. Like, I feel like they should have probably let it be i think yeah i don't think i finished this episode this season but

for the most part it was like it's just too much curb it's curb overload with like the amount oh no i did finish this season but yeah you're 100 right um whereas veep i think i i was on veep from episode one and i think it's fucking brilliant, but I think I'm picking in my mind, I'm picking like Larry David, you know, it's like, I guess it's a lifetime achievement award for Larry David, Costanza, Seinfeld, the whole nine. So if you're asking me which show I would prefer to watch, it might actually be Veep, but with the, with the draft pick, I'm taking Larry. larry so you're going veep uh i i will go um i just want to make sure i don't miss anything here oh fuck i actually fucked something up but okay i will go true detective season one motherfucker that's what i was gonna take you keep thinking keep taking what I was going to take. You should have gone first, John.

You deferred on the pick and now I'm fucking you. True Detective season one, also, yet again, a show that I did not like the ending. I don't think True Detective season one finale is regarded as like a lost or a thrown situation, public, like generally. For me, it is. I hate, hate the ending of True Detective. As a matter of fact, I think it might be worse than all of those. When Russ Cole decides to become Mr. Fucking Positivity, looking up to the sky, maybe it ain't so bad. We just watched you be this like Nietzsche nihilistic fucking asshole. And all of a sudden, you know, I get it.

You went through like a dark, you know, I get it. You went through like a, a dark, uh, you know, experience, but I hated that ending. But the, the buildup to that, the multiple timelines, the yellow King is one of the best, uh, you know, he, that perfect example of when you show the monster and it kind of like lackluster, but the, the idea of the, the, the yellow King, the theories that spawned from it, the fact that, uh, just Woody and McConaughey, I mean other, I think we had already kind of been going down that road,

but I feel like those guys really hammered home. The like movie stars can now be TV stars and it's fucking a big deal. I remember the first time I saw commercial for true detective, I was like, wait, why are both of these guys in a TV show? Yeah, maybe it was. I don't know. Were there other examples of big TV stars? I would definitely give them the crown for it. I could be wrong, but

the one where it really stuck out to me, I was like, Matthew McGonigal is doing a TV show? And it was like, you know, he had done Dallas Buyers Club, now he's doing this, and he's changing his whole persona. Woody Harrelson being like the perfect co-star. So season two stinks. Season three was all right.

But I'm picking specifically season one, the first like nine episodes with this pick. All right. I will take Chernobyl. Honestly, I meant to take Chernobyl too. I fucking i i've gone back and watched chernobyl like three or four times i think it's one of the best shows ever i think it's it's not really fair to have a limited series i get that but it is fucking so so good the writing the the score the message behind it all is so timely like and it's fucking

real i mean the fact that it's you know we're just like it actually happened when when when uh when a show can be that dramatic and good and you're like and now imagine if you lived it it's like holy shit man uh yeah i thought that was incredible it was probably one of the most timely shows of all time where you're just talking about like what the government's telling you this is the truth and that kind of shit. And you're like, no, it's not. Like it's like 1984 shit. Those moments, uh, you know, when, when I think of like lost and they go back to the Island, I'm like, Oh,

like the things that make me like gasp. But in, in Chernobyl when they explain how they were misreading the Ronkin, just because they had like the gun that didn't go high enough i was like oh my god like what a catastrophe the horror scenes in it it's like it's a real life movie that's somehow a horror movie where like the horror when they got when the three guys go in the scuba gear and they're like it's just you can hear like the ronkin machine clicking a lot as the lights go out and as their flashlights go out and then the one when they're on the roof and they got to scoop up the the lead or iron or whatever it is and like everyone has three minutes it's all in the one shot where it's like uh

and the fucking you know what my favorite was as hopeless as it was uh the main dude and the other guy from like the russian government he's that actor you've seen a million times before he's that he's the the robin williams is uh like enemy in good oh wow i didn't realize that huh okay so yeah that dude when they both have her scene where they're kind of like resigned to the fact that they're fucked like they know they've been exposed like so much and that it's over for them yeah and the way it starts like with the tapes and the hanging oh it's amazing there's so many great scenes when they're like just so many oh god it's so good when they're like he's like if you fly and he's like yelling he's like fly the plane over that he's, if you fly the helicopter over that, we will die today.

He's like, we are already dying. We're dead. We will die today if you fly over that. I think some people might have been turned off by the fact that it was real life and that they think they're watching a fucking history lesson or something, but if you haven't given Chernobyl a shot, fucking go

do it. It is as tense and like scary but it is so good uh this is my fourth pick fourth pick fourth pick by the way is this like are we missing anything on this bracket like are there ones that didn't even make the cut probably i don't know i was gonna say this whether this bracket reveals the most to me is hbo's not as good as you thought it was i know there's only like five shows that are good. And granted, that comes with the fact that we haven't

seen a lot of them. I admit, I haven't seen Six Feet Under and Oz and that shit. Yeah, we're being a little ignorant here, but man, I have three shows left with two picks, and I don't know what, I have four shows left. Alright, maybe it's better than we thought. I have five shows left.

Shit. Okay. Um, I'm going to go with I'm going to go with, I'm trying to think of what you're going to go with too, to see if I can get one still on the board. I think I know two of them. You're not going to touch the other two are going to be a problem. I'm going to go with recency bias, but I'm really enjoying it. I'm going to go with succession.

Okay. Okay. Are you not going to pick that? Cause I thought that was one. I'm going to go with Succession. Okay. Phew. Okay. All right. Are you not going to pick that? Because I thought that was one that I might have to worry about with you. No, I wasn't. Because I haven't seen season two. I really like season one. I like season two.

Just I forget. It was airing during something else, and I just haven't given it time. I think this is going to be my – this is like a potential pick. I think right now I might have left some on the table. Maybe some people aren't going to like that pick. Let's revisit this in like four years when there's like two more seasons and this is one of like the HBO greats because I think it's got all the makings of it. Unbelievable cast.

I've never, everybody says this about Succession, but I think it's true and I don't think there's another show that compares to it. And I think you disagree with me on this, but I've never seen a show that I don't like anybody and I think all the with me on this, but I've never seen a show that I don't like anybody. And I think all the characters are assholes yet. I still have a lot of shows like that. I used to always say that about lost.

Lost was my first. I've only had shows like that. Yeah. Yeah. Lost is you're learning. I'm rewatching it. I'm learning like, man, John Locke, you're wrong all the time. And like, dude, Kate, you're kind of a bad person and like all that shit. But yeah. Succession I think is, is hot in the streets right now. But I think when it's all said and done, it's going to be up there. All right. Four for me, Barry. Well, you know what? It's making it easier. Take it off the board. It's fine.

Barry, it's so early though. You don't know, you know, it's two or three. Just two. Oh, wait, that's right. Nevermind. I binged it. So I thought I'm like, there's only one season. It's like two or three. Oh, wait, that's right. Never mind. I binged it, so I thought, there's only one season. It's like, no, I just banged them out. They might have done season three. I think it's two. I'm not sure.

Nick says going into three. Okay, so it's only been two. Barry's one of the first ones where it's a comedy that's not laugh out loud funny, that is still funny, but also a really great drama. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's a comedy that's not laugh out loud funny, that is still funny, but also a really great drama. By the way, Henry Winkler, our boy, he's quarantined up. What do you mean? He's got the beard.

He's got big, long hair. I love it. I love it. All right. I am down. I was just on Corey G's podcast today, and he asked me my top three guests we've ever had. I had no idea. Who were my top three guests we've ever had. I had no idea. Who were your top three guests we've had? I can't remember three guests. I would just pick all the

sunny guys. That's exactly what I did! That's great. I know some people always bust my balls being like, every guest you have is the best guest ever. They really do just keep upping the bar so i forget about like other ones you know what i mean but like there's been several

times where in the moment having them on i'm like well we'll never top this we top it like two weeks later um all right i will tell you i am gonna leave some shit on the table here that's gonna like keep me up at night and i'm gonna leave some like high quality shit like legendary tv making type of shit on the table but i gotta be true here i gotta be real and when i think of that like hbo screen and the fucking the fuzzy snow and then it cuts into the theme music. I got, I'm, I'm going to pick Entourage. Ah, son of a bitch. I mean, in the moment,

that's a show that I don't even remember how the finale went. I remember the movie more than like the actual ending. I just think you love the movie. The movie's great. The movie's like exactly what, you know, Entourage was good at. It's like, it's, you know, it's it's fun and but i remember like the sasha gray episodes i kind of forgot i don't even know if i ever really episodes you what i love those episodes yeah you would you fucking would uh i don't even know if i know i've finished to be honest but in when i first learned of it when i first watched it i i don't think i've ever had as much fun binging a show as I did with Entourage because,

I mean, it's just got a cast of characters that are memorable, legendary. I'll take it. All right. I'll close it out there. I had a lot of comedy on here. I'll close that with Silicon Valley. Ooh, I wouldn't, I, I, that was not going to be on my list. That's, you like that more than I do. I love it. But I mean, I know that's, that's high on your list. I also think of my, my new love for tom middles middle ditch if i go back and watch it i might think of it like totally differently i bet you know what i bet i bet you would i bet i would too yeah i hadn't even thought about that he was funny on on silicon but i never thought of him as like this comedic genius and maybe watching it with a new eye of like well that was that was

funny the way you said that or just that way or whatever. That's true. That's a great point. Yeah. I thought it was fucking, what's his name? Shell. Come here.

Come here. No. TJ Miller. TJ Miller. I was saying it was TJ Miller. He's like, forget about it. Yeah.

So here's my problem is I think Deadwood is unbelievable. I think Watchwood is unbelievable. I think Watchmen's, I think Watchmen was one of the best like individual seasons I've ever seen. But, you know, it doesn't have the same like longevity as others. And I had planned on using this as my final pick because I know that nobody else on the planet Earth

would pick it, but Entourage was still on the board. I love The Leftovers so fucking much. And I'm like- i can't believe you didn't pick that i mean you used to write i mean that was you know that that i'm like one of eight people who watched that show but i thought it was fucking incredible probably because it's just everyone was like it's so like heavy and depressing like yeah welcome to my life. You know what I mean? This is, this is light work, dude. This doesn't phase me. But yeah, those, those are the three game Watchman, Deadwood and, and Entourage, leftovers being left off is gonna, it's gonna hurt me. Euphoria. I'm looking at some, just some of the other ones.

I thought you were gonna put that one in there too. No, I like it, but it's not. If Euphoria got canceled today, neither of us picked Eastbound and Down, did we? No, I thought I was okay with it. I think Danny McBride's much funnier an idea than practice. Really? I think Danny McBride's fucking hysterical.

He almost is like Will Ferrell to me, where I get more joy out of, once I watch it find I laugh harder when I like recite the lines of my friends rather than like actually watching it I think when Danny McBride I think what I like about Danny McBride is he he has don't get me wrong that's not like a huge thing on Danny I like Danny McBride it's not like I'm not he's no worse but just like sometimes Danny McBride can be too Danny McBride. I hear that. It's definitely over the top, but also in the same way, it's kind of like real and like

that's like when you're just like, shut up, you stupid motherfucker. Like that's what you'd like say to your friends and you don't hear that much of a TV script, but he like nails that. And I know it's not on Eastbound and Down, but like the scene in This is the end with james franco he's like i'll fucking i'll fucking jerk off all over you want to go that is danny mcbride to me and there's a lot of that in kenny powers all right well i love that scene that's very i mean so fucking good and i think uh you got to give him like kudos for i think anytime you have a legendary character whether or not the show like performs

all like to that level but kenny powers the the catchphrases the all that i mean that's that's going down in history so um yeah i mean there's a few that are left off that i think you could probably make one more top five with our cutting room floor that i think would be a pretty solid list so when you think if hbo has like 15 shows that you'd be like i'll watch all these things top heavy i think it's like 15 and then like 20 that are like meh uh so let us know tweet at us your uh hbo top five fuck rotten tomatoes um no i'm a fan of rotten tomatoes they follow me inexplic. I don't know why, so I'm always pumping Rotten Tomatoes.

They what? They don't follow a ton of accounts. So you're fucking, you're compromised. I am for sale. If you follow me, I will. I'm for sale. You don't even have to give me money. You just have to follow me on social media, and I'll get you back. The least biggest mistake

was not following me after the show. Singing a whole different tune. Alright, let's get into our voicemails today. They are brought to you by 3C. 3C is changing the game because while everyone else is out here

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with the promo code KFC to get 5% off. Voicemail time. What do we got, Nicky? What's going on, boys? I was just doing some yard work and I had both of these things happen to me within a 15-minute span. It made me think of a would you rather.

So, would you rather every time you go outside, there's a swarm of those little fucking gnats buzzing around your head, hitting you in the eye, going in your ear, or would you rather every time you go outside, there's a pebble in your shoe that you step on with every step and you can't get out. I put some thought into it and i think i would just kill myself so let me know what you think i mean i i uh i don't like the bugs but i can't have like pain in my foot every time i take a step that's the like a pebble that's really like digging in

no way you can't hide the pebble well no because i know what you mean you kind of walk and you get it like into the arch or you get it i'm a kidding like some people like bend over take their shoe out i just live with it i just i get it between the big toe and the the other toe hold it there's a big crevice there i just make a fist around it and i'll just walk around with that all day it's it's like he just has like a like a callus grows over it because he leaves it in there for months on end. It just becomes part of your body. You know like orca whales, you got to get the brine

off them. I just have rocks under my feet. Boy, whoever had an orca whale brine reference on their bingo card, come on down, man. Jesus. It just becomes part of me. I intentionally do it in the summer.

What? It's called you put on your summer feet. I intentionally in the summer walk everywhere barefoot. It's not really still because we live in Manhattan, but when I was living in Newport, I would just go to bars barefoot. I'd just get ready.

Wow. That is some hobo shit. You were walking into public watering holes and eateries with your bare feet? I mean, they're like on the beach. It's like, you know, there's like walk through sand to get to the bar. Right. That makes sense.

But you wouldn't be at like a regular bar, right? No, I wouldn't go. If I had to go inside somewhere, I would have shoes on for sure. And like it was, it's not a huge thing where I'd be like, I'm not wearing shoes. Well, if I'm coming from the beach or something, I just leave like my flip flops in the car and walk in. When I was a kid and still to this day,

but like my parents have a pebble driveway. And I mean, I remember as a kid being able to run like full speed on these rocks. And so one year we had like little pebbles that would hurt. And then one year we got like big stones. And I remember when we got the stones, I was, it was like, when you have a newly paved road on your rollerblades, I was like, this is a walk in the park. I'm gravy. But I, I mean, I, I, we would like run full speed play, like I remember running on the bases playing baseball on rocks. No problem. Now I'm like, if I'm walking out and I'm like, and it's funny,

I watched Shane Keegan do the same thing. Cause it's the same driveway now and they're out there. Like they don't give a shit kids. They don't feel pain. They don't get hot or cold until they do. They'll cry their eyes out over like one thing, but they're running around running around they're they're soaking wet and it's like not that warm out i can see them like shivering and they just don't they just don't fucking care they're unaffected i can't i can't do that anymore in high school me and my buddy uh used to see if we could get through full days barefoot like it's cool yeah so we like it wasn't a regular high school we had like a campus we had to change

buildings stuff like that so we'd walk around outside a lot and it's one of those things we're just like you wouldn't do that if you could just wear whatever you wanted but with a dress code you like steve you can get around stuff right like we don't know we had to wear blazers and say we'd like see if we could not wear the blazer and see if we could so you would wear no shoes and then like get to the building, like go into the classroom and no shoes on? Yeah. Yeah. Try to hide it.

We like run away from the dean of discipline. Like, like, oh shit, Chena was here. We'd run the other way to see, like,

so he couldn't see our feet. Like it was, it was such a weird thing to do, but for some reason we liked it. What I'm learning here is, is fucking Johnny Bear feet is like a whole persona. Yeah.

That's why my feet are so fucking weird. Probably. I just didn't wear shoes. I was only, I was only wearing, I was either wearing no sneakers Johnny Bear feet is like a whole persona. Yeah, that's why my feet are so fucking weird probably. I was only wearing, I was either wearing no sneakers or hockey skates. It was like the only thing I put my feet in. Those things are like stumps. Just chop them off. Just throw them out.

So I'm assuming you would go with the pebble, Ben, because it's not... Yeah, I hate... Dude, bugs being around you is almost like a poisonous thought, because you're just like, what's wrong with me? Why are there bugs swarming me? You know what? I'm going to change my answer, too, because I just realized

like, you know, you can control how much you walk. You know, like, I'll just get to the bar, and then I'm just going to sit at the bar, and I'm not going to be walking around. Whereas, like, you have to go outside, and if you get swarmed, I feel like pig pen from fucking peanuts or it's just like all around you. You get in your own head. You're like, do I stink?

And then you'd be like, what are other people thinking about why there are only bugs around me? This wouldn't make any sense. I'd rather like everything. I'd rather internalize pain than have an external version of, of, of poverty. I also, I don't, i don't deal with this like i don't get mosquito bites they just don't bite me really i'll get them here and there like it's not i'm not saying i've never had a a bug bite but i don't think i i legit don't think i've ever been stung by a bee and i I, I will get like a single bite here or there.

But when people come in from like, they're outside at like dusk and they come inside and they're like, Oh my God, I just got eaten alive. I don't know. Maybe, uh, maybe my body's just so shitty that they're like, I don't want that blood. We're not like, they can smell it on me. They're like, leave that bag of donuts over there. We don't need that. But I, I mean, I used to joke that, like, I remember telling caitlin like i keep her around because she would just get bitten all the time and i would never have to worry about it but i've never really been swarmed so i feel like if i had to then all of a sudden deal with that i would be i'd be fucked it's i haven't i also am like particularly adverse to

this because when i was a kid i was like uh i got taken back to a horse stall by a horse i was like horseback riding for my sister's like second birthday so i was probably four maybe it was her fourth birthday so i was six whatever i was young and on my horse just took off he like wasn't wasn't interested in being on a horse walk around it was like like we're like walking trails and he went back to his stall and i had to sit there because no one was with me to take me off the horse. I was a little kid. I just sat there while like, you know,

horse flies or whatever the fuck they are in a horse stall. Just stormed all around me. I had like a panic attack. I was like, ah! Dude. It's just like all these things always end up making sense. It's like, yeah, of course. Of course John's fucked up.

He had that time where he was like trapped in a horse stall with flies eating him. For a long time. It's crazy. I don't know. Shouldn't the guy who was on the head have realized and like, you know, he could ride a horse faster than you've ridden back and like either stop the horse or gotten there. I mean, you're lucky, by the way, he brought you back to the stall, right? He could have just fucking gone. That's true.

That's a great point, yeah. It was a birthday party? It wasn't a party, really. It was just like an event. Something we did for my sister's birthday. She didn't have friends there and stuff. And where was Polly at? I think they were all on horses. Yeah, they were like, see you later. Polly with an all

timeline this weekend. An absolute hall of famer. Put it in her quote book. Read it for me exactly. Set the scene. Okay, so we're sitting by, we're at the beach. It was my brother and his girlfriend, me and my girlfriend, my sister, my other sister, my mom and my dad.

And the siblings are kind of around, like some are laying on a beach thing. My parents are a little distance under an umbrella. And we're like, you know, having a few drinks. We're all just talking about who wants kids and who doesn't and why. And, you know, the problems with them, what joys they might bring, all kinds of shit.

And my mom just kind of leans over because she's a little separated. And she goes, at the risk of being scarring i don't really think kids make much of a difference in your life i mean it was it was now now she means like uh from like a fulfillment satisfaction i mean they they very literally tangibly make your life different because you have to like you can't do what you want anymore you have to take care of your kids so she's talking about from like a like an emotional point of view i don't know what she was talking about i think she means everything i my dad

i mean you you you spend your time drinking and partying and traveling and doing whatever you want and sleeping and then you have kids and you can't do any of those things ever again for the next 20 years so unless she was still doing So. Unless she was still doing it. I guess she was still doing it. I don't know. I like I really don't. My dad immediately chimed in. He's like, I beg to differ. Like he was like, that's not accurate at all. I can see people saying, you know, everyone always uses the word fulfillment or purpose and i get it but also you know if you're here for a for a good time i don't think i would recommend having kids but i but i do think

you cannot say it does not change i mean my life is entirely different now i actually realized because you let it you know let me see if my mom will come up here. It's her birthday, by the way. Oh, boy. I mean, this is, there is a, there's not a strong chance this happens, right? If Polly comes on right now, I will be over the moon. You know, I've never met Polly. How about that? I mean, this is, it's almost like, you know, like I made this reference earlier, the monster in the movie. It's like part of me wants to never meet her to just keep this, this allure going.

But I feel like I, one of these days I'm going to have to have like a summit with Polly where we sit down and we just be like, let's go story for story with John Henry. And she starts from when he's like two. And I start from when he's like 31 and we meet in the middle at like 15 because God knows she's got a whole I almost you know how I always say that I part of my gig here is I'm like Feidelberg's muse or I pull it out of him she's probably got that on lock all right she's in the room she's not coming on camera, but she's in the room. Okay. So I heard, first of all, it's crazy that we have not met. I was just saying. Okay. I was saying in my brief experience now,

I don't think you can say that having kids doesn't change your life. I mean. Oh, did I not say for the better? Well, what was the exact line? You said at the risk of sounding scarring, I don't think it makes a difference. Was that what it was? Doesn't change your life, comma, for the better. She's saying we have made her life worse.

Oh, I get it. Yeah, no, okay. That I understand. If the quote was having kids, it will ruin your life. I like that a little bit. Okay. All right. So it's, I want to give you one more tip that your children are small. So right now it's a physical job. So stay healthy. But as they get older, it's a head job, all psychological.

So while you're staying well get smart what what is worse when you have to like run around and chase them and change their diapers super easy that's super easy oh jesus christ you're scaring me probably yeah so what the head game of when you have to like you know discipline them and like get them to be good people and all that shit yeah like what's going on in their heads and what you know really when they said something what did they mean yeah how about when they think that they like are smart and that they know what's best and it's like shut up you idiot you can say that i didn't hang on that one a lot shut up you idiots my favorite one was when Paulina was little

and she was really attached and like she always touched and I don't like touch a lot and I was on the phone with my sister and I just lost it and like what am I a fucking cat pole you can't say that you can't say that you write a book You can't say that. You can't say that.

You write a book. We need the Polly Feidelberg book of parenting. It's amazing. Great stuff. Thank you. That's all I've got. Good luck with your two or three. I have Keegan is turning three in July.

Shay is turning five in December. Okay. Good luck with the two of them. Yeah, I'm going to need it. I'm going to need it. You will. Thank you. Oh, anytime.

I'd love to give advice. Thank you, mother. You're welcome. Nice meeting you, Kevin. Nice to meet you, too. I love you. That makes sense because I was like, there's no way you can say it doesn't change your life. She saying it oh it changes it it's a fucking disaster it makes it way worse

i i reached my point uh i recently realized like when i when i first had the kids i learned this about children and traffic two things that as i got older i realized you just can't let it bother you like Like when I, when I used to be stuck in traffic, it'd be like, I have to get where I'm going so that I can do the thing I'm supposed to be doing. And then I realized like, what's the, if I get there in an hour, I get there in two hours. Like what's the fucking difference. Same thing with the kids where it'd be like, I have to get them to sleep so that I can watch some TV show and have some me time and like enjoy my night. And now like the nights I have my kids, I'm like,

bedtime takes like three hours and then I go to sleep too. It's just, and it doesn't bother me anymore. It used to be like, fuck, I didn't, I missed the game. I didn't see what's going on. I missed like whatever. Now it's like, I don't know. Fucking who cares? It's another day of my mediocre life. Like, Oh, you missed, uh, you know, an episode of TV you're gonna be dead soon who cares next voicemail i just got a quick question i found myself a pickle the other day i was at a friend's house

and i got stranded there because of a wildfire i live in a pickle the other day. I was at a friend's house, and I got stranded there because of a wildfire. I live in a different town. Anyway, I was taking a shower, and I had some chafing going on, you know, downstairs. Wait, wait, wait. Can you pause this? Was the wildfire just a throw-in? Like, this voicemail is going to be about chafing and we started out with wildfires he never goes back to the wildfire okay maybe we can talk about being stuck at someone's house

because of wildfires before we talk about like jock itch but okay let's get on to the chafing and i didn't have anything put down there to make it better. So basically my question is, can you ask your friend for a cream of sorts for your chafing problem? I guess what I'm saying is you have a very personal thing going on. Are you allowed to ask, even though you are uncomfortable? Okay. Can you explain this question? Sorry, I got a call right in the middle of that. Long story short, he's got chafing.

He's staying at a friend's house. He's chafing. And he wants to know, can you ask your friend for like some like cream, some medication, like, you know, I need some lotion or some rash cream. Like now I actually think the wildfire might come back into play. I think if you are staying with someone for a normal amount of time and you got some chafing, it's like, all right, I'll go deal with that when I'm home. If I'm trapped somewhere because of wildfires and I have a physical ailment

and there's no end in sight or something like that, I might be like, do you have this cream or some shit? I don't know. I don't know if I've ever had chafing. Chafing is this big a deal?

I've been a little irritated down there. I had a buddy who was... I never put a cream on I've been a little irritated down there. I had a buddy who was – I never put a cream on it, not once in my entire life. I had a buddy who was a thick boy, and his thighs used to rub together, and he said it was just like a fucking disaster at all times for him. He always had powder on deck. He always had lube basically for his fucking legs.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't think this is going to be – I don't think I have enough. You just take a shower, dude. That's what I do. You just take a shower. Yeah. Yeah. I mean –

Or just go take things. I was going to say just – listen, we all do it. You go to someone's bathroom. You open up their cabinet and you snoop around. You see what's in the mix. You see, oh, that's for an STD. Oh, you got any of the good stuff. Oh, what's this?

What's that? And if they have your cream, you put it on. And if not, they don't have it because they don't have a pharmacy in the back, bro. They have what they have in their bathroom. I think we got a problem in this world where everyone thinks everyone cares what they're doing. You got to stop. It's a problem i've realized being home everyone's gotta announce whenever they leave the room just leave the room i don't care

you're like right back i gotta go uh i gotta go grab it i don't fucking care dude just i don't yeah i get you leave the room at 11 p.m i just assume you're probably going to sleep yeah you don't need to be like hey i'm going to bed good night i don't fucking care just go to bed dude don't you dare say good night to me, you fucking assholes. Especially if you only get one good night, too, or goodbye. You can just leave places. You don't have to make a big thing out of everything. I'll see you again later.

The goodbyes, oh, I forgot. So they had to come back in because they forgot their sunglasses. They said goodbye again. You already said goodbye to me. I don't need another goodbye. If you want to go, be like, you don't need to tell me you got jock itch or whatever. Go to the bathroom, find some lotion or baby powder

or whatever it is you need. Go take a shower. I don't care. I don't need to know everything you're doing. Just go fucking do it. I also, I think if you have any access to a car or a store, you just go get it. Unless you're trapped in the fucking cabin in the mountains or

something, uh, just fucking go handle your shit. Amazon, that stuff. I don't know. There's so little information that needs to be shared in the world. And I, I, this has become a drum. I be quite often now. It's really, I just want to live in seclusion. I've gone on texting. I'm now just going on just basic communication i don't need to know it all i'm i'm fine seeing you in the morning i'm fine seeing you in an hour i'm fine seeing you next week we don't need to make announcements ever hey i'm going to the

bathroom i don't give a shit like excusing yourself excuse me i gotta go to the restroom i'm fucking care where you're going you're getting up from the table who gives a shit but at the same time you're a big manners guy if i were to just get up from the dinner table and walk away, you would be upset by that. Yeah, no, that one's... I wouldn't be upset, but like yeah, I guess it's... You just say, excuse me. You don't have to tell me why. Like, you're getting

up and you don't want to be rude. Excuse me, I'll be right back. You don't have to be like I gotta go like fucking wipe my legs because there's rashes or something. Right. I don't need to know that it's all it's all nonsense the I read something recently where someone said that

manners and and tradition and all that is just peer pressure from dead people and I was like you're right I'm tired of being peer pressured by dead people I'm fucking over it I'm not doing this shit anymore yeah think about how many things we carry on that probably made sense

at one point that's just like, give me a fucking break. The handshake! The handshake is just to show we don't have a weapon. Yeah, right. I think the necktie is a weird one. I think there's some fashion things that we do that I'm like, I don't get where that comes from. A lot of

things that we say, a lot of the greetings. All of it's like, we don't need where that comes from. Uh, a lot of, uh, a lot of like things that we say, a lot of the greetings, I just, all of it's like, we don't need to do this. You know what, you know where cheers comes from? It's like to show you're both,

you both came from the same glass. I don't know what that means. My mom's taking a class, uh, the sociology of food. She's basically just been learning about cannibalism thus far. She talks about it nonstop. Every dinner we have, it's like, let me tell you about what I learned about cannibalism today.

And she's the star of KFC radio. She is. You know what? She's learning about cannibalism, and she has now learned or in her mind realized that all Catholics are cannibals. She's like, this wasn't in her book. This is just her own mind making the connection. She's like, it's just the ritual of communion is just a ritual where we're magically turning it into Jesus Christ and we're eating him.

That is cannibalism. You know what? That is just cannibalism. Were you on, this might have been a CCK thing. Are you on board with me with at least wanting to try human flesh or no? I don't have a great desire to go, but I'll put anything. It's you put in front of me. I'll eat it. I wouldn't be like, get this away from me.

I'm not going to go out of my way to do it, but I'd eat it. It was there. You think Polly would whip us up some human. Probably. She's a good cook. That's what I mean. Like if i do eat human flesh i wouldn't want it to be cooked by me i don't cook very well but i imagine polly could rattle those pots and pans so if i just gave her like a chunk of human she could season it and cook it up and then we could eat it and i know that the human i'm eating is well cooked and i know that she won't have like

a moral opposition because she's polly so she might be the linchpin for this whole operation you know if we got her some she's big on cannibalism now so if we got some she probably she'd cook it up all right uh that's enough for voicemails today it's now on to uh one of the more uh you know you mentioned you asked me like who our favorite interviews were and i think this is one of the more important ones we've done. Eric Andre is an interesting cat where it's like, I feel like he has the respect of like everybody, everybody really like knows what he's capable of, knows that he can do a brand of humor that maybe only like two other guys out

there can do. And, uh, to get to look behind the curtain and kind of see, you know, how the wizard does it is it was very, very interesting, very funny cat, Very good interview. It's Eric Andre and KPC radio brought to you by Roman. What are we doing with Roman today? We doing the we get in your face to be less ugly. Are we getting your dick to work better? Oh, today. Today's your face. Actually, when you think about it, all of it gets your dick working better. If you have a pretty face, people want to use you and have sex with you. You use your dick, your dick gets better. So in a weird way, all of this ends

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how we doing? Where's Nick Hamilton? He's at a, that camera right there. I don't speak until I see Nick's face. There he is. Yeah. He's that camera right there. I don't speak until I see Nick's face on the fucking camera. There he is. Yeah, you little fucking sneaky son of a bitch. All right, I'm going to go hide now.

Run away. Dude, what is going on? What's happening? What are you doing? Hiding in a corner here? What are you doing? Yeah, I'm in my kitchen. All right.

You don't want to get married to your liking? Evan? You don't want people to be like, oh, celebrities, they're in their beautiful backyards again. We've been saying that. I'm on basic cable, guys. I do not have that much money you're not since the uh since that video went viral uh to start i've been saying it's like almost every celebrity we've had on i'm like you're just in the corner right now we were doing we did kevin bacon the other day kevin bacon was just sitting

in front of a door that was it oh why are you talking about the imagine video yeah i do not have a backyard like lena dunham or whatever schmuck was on that video imagine my backyard eric god you are you are like the craziest motherfucker i know i i feel like it's just gotta be like it's either i feel like it's either stressful to be you or not stressful at all because you're like you're like bulletproof you can't be flustered you're always the one fucking with other people nobody can fuck with you sensitive man i'm an aries i'm a sensitive little flower i mean the opposite i'm very touchy dude i was what about this is this better this is oh look at that that's beautiful back there yeah. Beautiful. I've been drinking a lot over time.

Holy shit. Yeah, baby. Let's have a drink. What are you drinking? If you like pina coladas. I've been making pina coladas like I'm a Jimmy Buffett fan. I swear to God. You're just in your house making pina coladas? In my house drinking pina coladas

out of a pineapple i've been buying pineapples cutting like gording them and filling them with rum and out of all the shit you do that might be the craziest move if you like pina coladas they're so fucking good i don't care what anybody says i'll drink to the dome they're so horrible do you think do you think you're a superhero at all like do you you don't i at least you know i'm very weak you should see me without my shirt off i got like six tits like a dog shirt off then do it man but you don't have like you don't have the ability to,

or maybe you're just great at hiding it, you know? But, like, you don't have the ability to get embarrassed. Like, you are the. No, I'm embarrassed. I mean, you should see me walking around. I mean, I get embarrassed every day. I'm proud of you for thinking that, but I'm a sensitive little. How about awkwardness?

Like, you don't feel awkward. I'm awkward. I'm embarrassed. All right. I can understand that you might feel it but like normal people walk in a room or a bar or a meeting or an intro whatever and they're afraid of like awkwardness if there's silence they have to speak and if someone says something they you know they have to respond whatever i feel like you because you like that's your your comedy i feel like you just know that what's going on there and you'll never be like i mean what do you think i drink 20 pina coladas a day that's why

it's the cure for embarrassment that i mean i don't know i'm flattered you think that but i am if you prick me i bleed or whatever i'm as human as everybody else in that sense like it sounds like we're reading into it too much it sounds to me then like your your comedy and the the pranks or when you make other people feel awkward is that just like hey i'm doing it for a laugh and there's really nothing more like under that because to me it feels like it's this you know cerebral well thought out like i mean i guess it's joke by joke some jokes are like existential and cerebral and sometimes uh the fart sound is funny to me so i think it's

uh the whole spectrum do you like when you see kind of you know obviously it's like a big trend on uh you know like tiktok in particular tiktok and youtube like do you do you look down on pranksters like that or are you like oh yeah boys like hone your craft i think yeah no i think it's case by case i think like prank shouldn't be mean like if it just feels like you're being mean then it's like not that funny or interesting but if you're being like absurd and bizarre and you're cramming like absurdity and surreality into reality then that that's interesting to me and so how do you think of that like like i like i'm thinking a lot of coffee and i have done i try to do acid at least once a year is that true

at least i don't but i try i try to i'm a little bit getting kind of too old for acid that's but uh i think there's positive effects from a psychedelic experience when you say once a year do you like do you when you try to do it at least you pick out like all right like july 16th is gonna be good i got a few more months to go it's usually july 16th and i go to the public library and i just fucking get ripped is that how you're like all right i dropped some acid i saw myself as a fucking centaur carrying around the cake like let's do it oh i don't know i mean like i just mean like if the question was where does inspiration come from it's really coffee more i think coffee

is the best drug on earth i don't think it's acid i think that it's really just me and a bunch of comedians we're in the writer's room and we're just cracking each other up and uh it also comes from experience we know like kind of what to write and what not to write and what's going to work and what's not going to work so um it's experience and it's like surrounding yourself with good and funny people i don't do it alone um that that's really what it is do you prefer that process like the the being in a room with funny people or do you prefer uh the stand-up where you're obviously you're promoting legalize everything now and i like it all it's more fun with the the the writer's. Cause it's like a group of 10 of my friends just cracking each other up

for a couple of weeks. But yeah, that's where, that's where 99% of the writing comes from. And then me and my writing partner, Dan Curry, we'll go through all the notes that came, that we came up with in the writer's room and we'll kind of pick our

favorites and we'll rehearse them with my director. There's a process. It's not completely spontaneous. But then once we're filming, we improvise within the premise of whatever bit we wrote. How long does the filming take? Six weeks. Six weeks?

Two weeks on the streets in New York and four weeks in the studio in L.A. Dude, that's way quicker than I thought. Yeah, that's great. We don't have that much money. We got to fucking, just got to shoot. Even still though, at this point, like, you know, very successful. People know who you are.

You still get all the filming you need to get in that two weeks. Because I would imagine at this point, like, some people are on to the joke. Some people know who you are. It's not as easy to get. It's not as easy, but we figured it out. I mean, for the season five of the Eric Andre show that we just did, I like gained 20 pounds. I bicked my head bald. I got rid of all my body hair.

I waxed. I spray tanned every day. I bleached my teeth. I made myself look like totally insane so that I wouldn't get recognized that much. And then we just avoid the demographic. We don't prank people like in their 20s. We don't prank people, like, in their 20s. We try to prank people in their 40s, 50s.

Really? So, like, you see, like, young kids or something, you're just like, nope, not even going back? Yeah, I'm not doing hidden camera pranks at, like, a skate park. You know what I mean? People will be like, man! Do you, I guess you kind of maybe explained this already through, like, experience, but do you have a feel for like when a prank's going too far?

Like we had a guy who used to kind of be associated with us. Now he's trying to make it on TikTok. And he went down in the subway and spilled a giant fucking bowl of cereal. Yeah. And it was in the middle of coronavirus and everything. And I mean, people fucking hated this kid for it. And I feel like honestly. The MBTA.

The MBTA came out. It was like, this is a crime. Like, we need to prosecute this. But I feel like if I saw you do that, I'd be like, I don't know. That's kind of fucking funny. Hey, hey, I did do that like five years ago. So now I'm going to sue this son of a bitch for plagiarism. No.

Yours. I've seen yours. I saw his and I was like, that was kind of dickish man and i saw yours and it was the frugal factory where you didn't get a job yeah frugal factory yeah and like i was fucking in tears with that like what's the why why is that i think because there was a little his was just intentionally destructive so he just went on and spilled shit and that, like, the joke ended there. For me, there was, like, not to pat myself

on the back, but there's, like, a little more nuance to the joke. I have, like, a neutered dog cone around my head, a weird Fruit Loops factory, and also my character in that moment's motivated. He's, like, down in the dumps. He's like, ladies and gentlemen, I have bad news. I did not get the job at Fruit Loops. My body is now your communion. eat i didn't just go on and attack people i had like i was in

character and this character is going through it was a you empathize with that character he's like being shit on my life you know so that little bit of motivation allows me to go to you know do you think that i mean i don guess. Do you think that means... I think that makes total sense, but do you think that means... You gotta motivate your anarchy. I think if you just go out and go, you're annoying, but if the character I'm playing

is... If their intentions are good, they're just a fuck-up, then that... It's like this little nuanced thing that motivates the chaos and makes it okay. That same one. That's that same skate when you were the highlight guy. Oh yeah.

He was selling a hot candy out of the highlight. I don't even know what you're called. They're called Zisteras or something like that. That is the fastest ball in any sport and you can die if it hits you in the head. My Spanish teacher was a former high life star. No way.

King of America. No way. Give me more gasoline. What are you drinking? My man, vodka? Straight vodka from the bottle. What's your drink of choice? I'll tell you a cocktail recipe.

I'm learning cocktails. Look at this. Okay. I'm a bourbon guy. Bourbon. Okay. Bourbon. You can make a Manhattan. You can make a Brooklyn. There's different variations of the Manhattan. There's the Brooklyn. You need vermouth.

Bourbon is easy. You don't need too much. You're vermouth. It's easy. You don't need too much. You're in the early stages of drink learning. I'm in the early stages, but I'm not like a bourbon guy. I like tequila. I like rum. I like gin. I like vodka.

What do you like with gin? It's okay, but I usually just like slash a little club soda on top. When you tell people, like, I'm going to hit you with a recipe, and then you say a fucking Manhattan. Come on. I'm a vodka guy. I mean, I actually have to hit you with a recipe and then you say a fucking Manhattan. I'd have to look through my little dorky like me hands cocktail guide cookbooks. Everyone's got a real recipe. What have you been doing with gin?

I'm trying to get trying to get on the gin. Gin is a scary one, bro. Gin is great. Gin is great. I've been doing there's something called a br gin is great i've been doing um there's something called a bramble that i've been making with gin it's just lemon juice creme de mure and i want to say like simple syrup and gin i had something like that one of the other the other day that it also had egg yolk in it oh yeah i forget what it's called but it had like that silky taste either gin fizz or ramos

gin fizz oh we don't it was yes and gin fizz is exactly what it was yeah yeah yeah so i think this is what like like uh a lot of women i saw on social media have been baking sourdough bread during during quarantine and i think most guys are like i'm gonna become a mixologist yeah yeah you gotta drink your way through this. I feel like you're just drinking like 15 pina coladas mixed in with some bourbon and some tequila. Are you just like shit-faced all day, dude? I'm pretty much shit-faced right now, to be honest with you.

My secret ingredient in all my cocktails, a little Vicodin at the bottom. That'll do it. That'll do it every time. That'll kick it up a notch. Yo, do you think that you could get Eric Andre? What would you do if you walked into a talk show or

something like that? If I got pranked? If they saw my show and they were trying to fuck with me, I would sniff it out real quick. But on my show, Dennis Rodman was almost impossible to prank. No matter what you say to him, he's like, yeah.

He's way crazier than anyone you've ever met. So you can't out-crazy him. I think I'm obsessed with him. I've written about him. We had him on the show. And I think the best way, if you just need to say, explain Dennis Rodman in a sentence, I think prank-proof would be it.

He's so out there that he cannot be fucked with. That's her. The only celebrity we had, he would only accept cash. We had to pay him in cash. Dude, we had him on our show. First of all, before he came in, this is obviously

pre-quarantine stuff, before he came into the studio, he had one of his men come up. He's like a 20-year-old social media guy and he told the whole office that when dennis comes in he prefers to be bowed to and everyone thought he was kidding and then dennis when he left he ended up being pissed that we didn't all bow and then when we sat down he was in the studio before us so when we sat down he didn't even miss a beat. He just goes, you guys ever watched a horse fuck a girl?

And we were like, what, man? And then went on to tell us not just the time he went to one in Mexico, but also the underground horse shows he's found in his travels around America. In America. Watch a girl fuck a horse in America? I did not know that. He was like, he was like taken aback. We were like, really? He's like,

oh yeah, Oklahoma's got a bunch, Oregon's got a bunch. He knows the whole map. He told me, I go, have you ever kissed a dead girl? And I meant it as a joke question. And he was like, yeah, yeah. I kissed my friend she died I kissed her on the lips and I go

at the funeral and he was like no and I was like what where else would you have access to a corpse and why would you kiss that corpse on the lips that's fucking dark and weird.

There's no more follow-up questions there. No more. He's crazy, man. So the new special, Legalize Everything, we're making a few waves with the joke about cops, which is... I wrote that joke 15 years ago, and thank God I read that joke 15 years ago,

and thank God I waited a decade and a half to release it the day Cops gets canceled after 33 years. It's like, ah, all going according to my plan that I never came up with. Serendipity, man. I mean, it's huge, and I love the fact that, you know, some people pressured you to take it out, and you were like, fuck, out of here. Get out of here. That's crazy.

Yeah, it wasn't pressure to take it out it was just like they were like are you gonna keep that shit and i was like yes this is like the best time or like should we go forward with this it was like yes yes this is the like the timing is impeccable and then it was obvious and everybody came around i mean i know the topic is touchy right now, but the actual... Why? Well, what's going on? What's going on? I haven't read a newspaper in a while. What's going on out there? The actual content of that joke, though, is pretty just like observational humor and funny.

It's not like that crazy. It's just like... Well, that's what my rebuttal was. I was like, it's really a joke about a reggae song more than anything else. Right. Now the pina colada stuff is making a lot of sense, by the way. You're just in that mode, huh? What's that? Now the pina colada stuff's

making a lot of sense. I'm drinking reggae and dancing and drinking. But, I mean, yeah, that's great. I'm so sad all I said was to drink a Manhattan. I just, like, bourbon's the one spirit that I'm like, I don't know, if I could throw vermouth in an ice cube. But that's actually also perfect for, like, I basically just drink it on the rocks. Yeah, bourbon, I don't know. Fucking throw vermouth in an ice cube. But that's actually also perfect for

like, I basically just drink it on the rocks. Yeah, vermin. I don't know. I just drink it. I put ginger ale in it. I don't know. I had one the other day. It's all vermin is, is like vermouth. That's the only thing people put in it. Vermouth, Campari. Sorry, we can go back to politics.

Guys! Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? It's a fucking great song, to be honest. That was a song. Bang, bang, bang for you. Oh, shit. These guys have been making a sweet paycheck

over the 33 years. What do they call it? Bad company or something. Inner Circle. That's a long ass period. That's a real song? It's a song with a real band. You think they're pumped about that? They must because of the paycheck.

But sometimes you want to be known for your art, right? That was a song. I think they broke up a year after that song came out. They formed in 1988 then they disbanded in 1989. I doubt they're still a band. You know how hard it is to

keep a band together? It's a nightmare. You have trouble with that with your writing crew? Do writing crews have the same environment that a band does? Yeah, everything's a relationship. You know, you have good days and bad days. It's like being in a band or any working relationship.

Being in a band is like, it's like having five girlfriends. And each one has their own personality. And you got to figure out, you know, it's all, everything's a relationship. You know, there's a work relationship. There's a friend relationship. There's every type of relationship has its. I feel like the comedy world as a whole has like a band vibe, but where everyone's also a solo artist.

I feel like, like there's so much like, I mean, standups. Yeah. But you know, there's sketch groups and there's like, whatever writing groups and some other shit,

whatever. Bullshit. Podcasts. a lot of those yeah a lot of fucking whiskey and yes yo when was the time you thought you were the closest to death doing one because we read obviously um in a bad trip you have quite the story uh where you're almost yeah we had yeah that's my only that's the closest i've been to death real more than more than when you were on stage with uh fucking what's his tits alex jones uh we almost yeah we had yeah that's my only that's the closest i've been to death real more than more than when you were on stage with uh fucking what's his tits alex jones oh yeah that's up there but no no weapon was brandished in that scenario with alex jones what do you do in that moment when this guy pulls out a fucking gun uh well he pulled out a knife he was looking

for his gun and he pulled out his knife so we had looking for his gun, and he pulled out his knife. So we had our dicks stuck in a Chinese finger trap. We went into the hood. We went to this hood-ass barbershop. The dude looked for his gun. He was like, fuck, get the fuck out of here! Because we're like, sir, can you get our dicks out of this penis trap? And then we were stretching our dicks back and forth. Are we going actual dick prosthetics?

Did you really do that? No, it's a realistic prosthetic so that we can stretch it like you know my i want to be my real dick but um he pulled out a knife and he chased us and we could barely run in that contraption we're like it's a fucking nightmare see that's what i mean like if if anybody at barstool ever came to me it was like i got this idea you and john are to go out with your dicks in a finger trap. I'd be like, no, that sounds, no, that's fucking stupid. But then you do it. You want security.

You want to like run that bit through your legal department and you want security with you, like on the sidelines. So I would, I would suggest that. If a Chinese finger trap dick pranks are on the table What's off the table What do you say no to You do I think there's good bad taste And there's bad bad taste And you try to just like hunt for the good bad taste

Um It's case by case And you know I don't know You just gotta trust your instinct Have you been in a pool of recently something Somebody threw at you that you were like, no fucking way? No, I'm usually lobbing out the bad, bad ideas. It's usually my director being like, that's a bad idea.

I had a bit, I wanted to do a hidden camera bit where I had like all four, my arms and legs were broken and I was in a wheelchair. And then I was going to wheelchair down an escalator, like hand over feet, like at the ball and be like, ah, and my stunt coordinator and my director were like, no, don't do that. You'll like really be like, you'll need that wheelchair at the end of the. How many times you ended up in a hospital? I ended up in the hospital this season of Eric Andre's show because John Cena threw me through a shelf, which was fine. But then the shelf had a metal frame and it fell over

and it clocked me right in the head and I got a concussion. I was like total like Tweety Bird. So I had to go get a cat seat. Yeah. The love of the game, dude. Go out there and... the love of the game dude go out there the love of the game i felt so bad it wasn't his fault it was like he did the stunt perfectly it just like the thing fell down on my head and he still checks in with me like how's your brain he is he is like the number one make a wish guy right he has like the guinness world record for

most make-a-wishes i'm not surprised surprised by that at all. He is such a sweetheart. He's like a gigantic teddy bear. He's just trying to see if he's going to put you on the list soon. Hopefully. Maybe. Hospital bound. That was rough. Season 4, I put my hand through glass and had to get stitches.

It's rough. When was Season 4? Three years ago, right? Yeah, well, we took three years off to make the movie so oh right so the movie took forever then we just we just filmed season five we're almost done with it this is gonna come out the end of the year i thought i thought you took it off just because like people were too hot to you kind of no i just like gained 20 pounds and got rid of all my body hair and that cut off that that solved the problem and i think it was uh after i think it was the chinese finger trap that uh your co-host was like or co-star was like i'm getting i don't want to do this anymore oh real yeah that was the

first day of filming and he was like i'm done i quit i'm not doing this this is a nightmare i have kids i don't want to die and i was was like, no, no, no. That was great footage though, man. You got to see it in the editing bay, man. He almost quit, but we want him back and we finished the movie. When you're choosing pranks, do you choose like who your star, are you like, all right, this star would work better. This person would work better with me. We created the character. his name is bud in the movie we created the character first and we watched a million audition tapes and rel right away was

the first person we saw we unanimously were like he's the one it was like very clear he was the the right person um and then i'll tell you this tiffany Haddish wasn't in the movie originally. We had this woman who was a, her name is Kia. She was a female wrestler, like a WWE kind of wrestler. And she had to drop out because of her, she's on glow. She had to drop out because of her schedule. And then when the knife got pulled out on us and Rel almost quit, he's friends with Tiffany. So he called Tiffany Haddish and he was like, dude,

Eric Andre almost got me killed. I don't want to do this fucking movie anymore. This shit is dangerous. This is insane. And she was dying laughing and called me five minutes after that phone call with Rel and goes, yo, she went, yo, Eric, you almost got Rel killed. I was like, yeah. And she goes, dude, I want to do your movie.

I love that shit. I was like, what? Really she goes, dude, I want to do your movie. I love that shit. I was like, what? Really? Totally like from the universe. She like the one woman dropped out and she came in and she's like, yeah, fuck yeah, I'll do it. Fuck it. That's awesome. Really that we're getting like knives pulled out on us. She's like, that's awesome. I love doing prank shit. Has there ever been any idea, plans for like or has it already

happened is there any eric andre sasha barrett cohen johnny knoxville whoever else you put in that pantheon have you guys ever collabed or thought about it oh man i would i would love to i'm buddies with those guys i um is that who you think of by the way like what your other uh you know your contemporaries who kind of do it on your level? Is it those guys? Yeah, well, I grew up on them. Jackass came out when I was in 12th grade, and Ali G's show came out when I was in college.

So I just watched every episode over and over and over again. Those guys are like my mentors. It's because of the forefathers of pranks. And they're much more brave than me. College body language. I would never fuck with a bull yeah horns two tons coming at you fuck that yeah i didn't know you were berkeley guy until today yeah yeah wasted a lot of money wasted a lot of money you want to see my you want to see my bass? Here, this is what I wasted four years of music school on. Can you see that down there?

Oh, my God. See, you really wasted it because that's actually a cello. No, this is a bass. A cello is smaller. Get it right or pay the price. I played Mary Had a Little Lamb over and over again. I mean, everybody kind of jokes like, oh, I wasted money in college. You fucking wasted money in college.

Wasted money in college. I mean, this is useless. It's like, yeah, man, I play the bass, but I fake puke and then eat the fake puke for a living. You prepared me for the fake puke eating. You said, I think it was, I was reading an old interview with you in Esquire, I think, where you were saying that like jazz prepared you for something like this. Or maybe the interviewer posed that to you, but you were kind of just like,

yeah, you got to be a little crazy to do jazz music. And that's kind of the life I've gone into. Maybe. Yeah, that sounds about right. Whatever I said in that interview sounds a lot more, I made a lot more. I was a lot less drunk in those days. So everything's out now. Is it is it easier? Like, are you a little more when you're just on stage and you write your material, you're telling jokes, you don't have to worry about concussions and knives and all that shit. Is it less stressful or is it harder yeah right in that shit yeah it's like like prank jokes are actually like better if they're simplistic but stand-up it really had to for it to work night

after night after night it really has to be like something great it's hard i think it's hard so i don't know they all have their own challenges, but yeah, they all take a tremendous amount of work. Well, we thank you for the time. Everyone should go watch the special on Netflix, legalize everything. You are one of a kind brother. So thank you guys. I appreciate you. Stay safe, dude. Thank you so much.

Thank you very much. Thanks y'all. Enjoy those pina coladas. Sounds good. Later. Ciao, ciao. I've got some issues that nobody can see. And all of these emotions are pouring out of me.

I bring them to the life. It's only like this is the soundtrack to my life. The soundtrack to my life. To my life. to my life. The soundtrack to my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life. To my life.

To my life. To my life. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.