KFC Radio - Feits And His One-Armed, Flesh Rotting, O’Doul Drinking Grandpa - Full Episode

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Timecodes: 02:01 G is for Gaslight 15:41 Surviving Barstool with OG's 34:34 Bachelor Guy Got Hacked & Said He Died 40:54 Nate finally had his downfall after going into Dave's office 44:36 AITA: K*lling my BF's dog 58:11 Feit's One Armed Flesh Rotting O'Doul drinking Grandpa 01:19:44 Baby in light up costume on plane: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/travel/childs-flashing-outfit-on-plane-captured-in-viral-video/U5NEQ46WX5CIRN724HM4XVF7KY/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Straight Talk: Learn More at https://www.straighttalk.com/multiline?utm_medium=BAC&utm_campaign=AW&utm_content=EVRGRN&utm_term=GNRC-%25epid!_%ecid! BetterHelp: Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. That is so f***ing funny. That is maybe the funniest thing that's ever come out of this show. That is so f***ing funny. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. And Jackie's back! It's reality star Jackie.

There's many forms of Jackie. There's Helmet Jackie. There's KFC Radio Jackie. There's Hi Jackie. There's... We actually... I don't know if I told you this. Drunk Jackie. We were introduced... The world has not been introduced to it yet. But I was introduced to a new Jackie

the other night. Sketch Jackie. Oh! She's an out of order. I was introduced to a new Jackie the other night. Sketch Jackie. Oh. She's an out of order. I actually wasn't in the room for the scene, but she fucking murdered me. That doesn't surprise me because she's you. I feel like everyone's fucking with me because I literally was cringing the entire walk back being like, that was so bad. See, this is forever the rub with you

that you that's that's why it works because you you think that you might have been i like i couldn't see it so maybe it was terrible but well that's good too though i edited it was incredible but but but don't like this is forever my problem with her i'm like if if if she knew how good and funny she was she might be like alex cooper big but then it also might all fall apart because part of her charm is that she's like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck so i don't know what to do with that yet but every time you do something you think it's bad and every time it's fucking hilarious and that kind of fits in here yeah you know That's why you are Feidelberg. My dad said to me the other day, he goes, I saw that Out of Order thing.

Did he take, like, did he get training? Did he take acting classes or something? Well, Jackie took the same once. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, though. I'm like, you guys are just, it's just some people got it like that, and you're one of them. Here's the thing, a little spoiler alert. The role that Jackie did have to play, though, was she just had to gaslight somebody.

It came off really naturally. Wait, perfect segue. We're going to get into you in a second. You like my shirt? No. Where? Wait, wait. I love this shirt. Wait, wait. I love this shirt.

Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Wait, is that made by somebody big? No. Because we might have to take this off and put this tape away and make that ourselves. I'm too big for that. Bro, that is fucking awesome. I don't know if this shirt is – real art inspires, right?

I saw this shirt and I was like, that shirt's sick. And I think it's anti-gaslighting, but I'm pro. No. Oh, well, it's anti-gaslighting in the sense of like – that's made for like a guy to be like – Hell yeah, gaslighting's sick. Dude, I think gaslighting got a bad rap. Wait, wait. Like gaslighting is sick. Dude, I think gaslighting got a bad rap. Wait, wait. Hang on, hang on.

When I think of gas, this is actually an interesting conversation. Because I bet each side, guys and girls, or each individual, when I hear gaslighting, I think that is 100% a female thing that gets done to guys. But I'm sure girls think the same thing. Well, I think it's bisexual. I think both people should be able to do it. And it absolutely is. But I'm saying like my – and of course I know that. But if you ask me like who does the gaslighting more, I would be like girls to guys.

Oh, me. I'm sure girls – It's me. But it's like – but my gaslighting is like cute. Oh, sure. me but it's like but my gas lighting's like cute like it's right like like i think gas lighting got a bad rep where like like there's a show on showtime cute gas lighting i don't know what you're talking about i never said that i never said that gas lighting was like like there's a show on showtime called gas lit and it's about about the Nixon administration, and people say Trump was gaslighting.

You're talking – and then I started to apply it to guys where it's like – he's using a systemic approach to media and politicians down to the people. I'm just saying I don't remember something I remember saying. It's a different thing. It's a different thing. That's the only club I have in my bag in a fight. I don't remember. I don't remember something I remember saying. It's a different thing. It's a different thing. That's the only club I have in my bag in a fight. I don't remember that. Yeah. You can't take that from me.

If you – it's Costanza. If you take away denying, then this is not a fair fight. How am I ever going to win if I can't simply deny something happened? I have no other card to play. I'm just lying. Don't look at him like the president. Right. That's the other thing, too.

Here's a tip for the girls out there if you're fighting with your man. When you say gaslighting, that lets us roll our eyes and be like, oh, your therapist and your friends on TikTok said that. If you just say, you're lying right now, I'll be like, fuck, yeah your friends on tiktok said that if you just say you're lying right now i'll be like fuck yeah i'm caught you caught me yeah yeah it's like gaslighting makes me feel like you're listening to some tiktok therapist and some girl who went viral and you're like you know what you know brian chicken fry says and if you just said to me you're fucking lying right now i'd be like god damn it you're right dude the uh

it's like uh what was i gonna say the oh oh we're just like it was it was like the the green bay packers power sweep like first of all i'm running the play every day i'm for i'm for some personal responsibility like again we're talking like a presidential thing that's using the system to trick the serfs, that's one thing. If I'm just being like – if you're telling me it's darker in this room, I'm going, no, it's not. Yeah. Something that falls on you. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. Say it with your chest, bitch. But you can't just take away that move. It's like the power sweep. Instead of finding out how to stop the defense, they just made that play illegal. No, no, I can still run a power sweep. I'll remember that. Honestly, gaslighting even became a move and then became a term and shit because girls, you girls fucked up.

No, it became a term because guys. Yes. Because it's my only move. But I feel like girls fucked up by turning it into this phrase rather than just being like, I'm calling you on your bullshit, and I'm not. Like, I think you just let guys get away with lies so long that we needed to create a fucking cottage industry of gaslighting when it used to just be like, you're a dog who's cheating on me and lying.

And just stick to that rather than being like, you're manipulating me through subtle tactics and blah, blah, blah. It's just like you – I think the problem right now – the one thing I learned – One second. Sorry. No, you go. You go. Well, I was just going to say when I talk to girls who are like 10 years younger than me, so they're not kids anymore, but they're late 20s, early 30s. You guys gave up all the power somewhere along the line.

I don't know where it is. I don't want to call it generations because I think we're all in the same generation. But like my age of guys were like chasing girls and wanted to get laid and wanted to get numbers and go on dates and have sex. And so we would like – we would like simp. And then somewhere along the lines, you guys fucked that up and – or the guys got all the power and you guys just got bulldozed in the dating game. I don't know how that happened because I remember like having conversations where I was like, that's not how it is. And then all the girls like late 20s, early 30s were like, yes, it is. And I was like, oh, well, then you fucked up because it was never that way when I was

younger. Yeah. Wait, I don't know why that happened. I don't know if it was the apps or the internet or, like, something where it got easy for guys. But they took all the power. And the power of the pussy just disappeared. That's sad. Yeah, because I don't know how you're going to take it back.

I realize, like, I've never been, like, courted. And I think that's what I mean. That's what we brought back. Like, I've never had, like, roses. Well, don't get it twisted. I'm not saying, like, everyone was fucking Romeo. But I'm just saying, like, we were like, I want to fuck. And so every, I can't remember, like, when I was younger, like, every girl to me was, like, better than me.

And I'm like, I have to trick her into having sex with me. And now I feel like it's flipped where it's like, oh, I don't need you. You know? Why do you think that happened? I'm asking you. i don't know i don't know if i i i think that the only absolute difference i know is that my my group of guys in that age we never were on dating apps so i don't know if that was a thing where it's like i just can have it on my phone five nights a week like no problem i never was on a dating app, so I never – every time I was at a bar or whatever and saw a girl, I was like, this is my chance, and so I got to, like, do it.

I think it was sex positivity happened. That too. People start having sex like, dude, the boys are better. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, sex was a little like – Guys, I had sex again last night. Sex is special. Sex was like, oh, shit.

People call – you know, you used to to say like, get lucky, right? Back in the day, it was like, because you would get lucky. You'd go out and be like, I don't know why this girl's going to fuck me tonight, but she is. And now it's like, I don't know, you can fuck every single night. Also, now I feel like girls are more like, okay, cool, girl boss. Well, you say it, but you don't mean it. The guys actually mean it.

You guys are front and we're like, yeah, no, we're lying on the place. No, I'm a girl boss and I mean it. The guys actually mean it. You guys are front and we're like, yeah, no, we'll hang on to this. No, I'm a girl boss and I mean it. Okay. I was thinking when you were saying earlier the like,

how it went from like, you're a dog, you're a scumbag to like, you're a gaslighter where like, those moments with reflection

after a fight where you look in the mirror and you'd be like, am I like, a fucking piece of shit? Yeah. Like, damn. Now I'm like, am I? A mastermind? Sociopathic genius? fight where you look in the mirror and you'd be like am i like a fucking piece of shit yeah like damn now i'm like am i a mastermind sociopath yeah yeah yeah i'm like am i an evil am i an

evil genius capable of anything i'm like spider-man like what the fuck yes dude there are absolutely times where i I've scared myself with the lying ability. Am I? She is. Like, yeah, you are a Marvel character. You're like, I'm Gaslight. I don't know. I just said I don't remember that.

It's truly the Church of Costanza. It's not a lie if you believe it. And the people who really perfected the art, it is a superpower. You can't fight against that. I don't even think I'm that good at it. I think it's just everyone uses that word. So you're like, wait. It must be true.

I imagine even dumb guys are like, wait, am I a genius? I know a girl who, like, caught her boyfriend red-handed cheating and, like, screenshots, sent it to her phone, like, had all the proof. And, you know, whatever, dude, like, had an inkling, knew it happened somehow, but, like, got into her phone, deleted all of that evidence. And then when she called him on it, he was like, like, what are you talking about? None of this happened. And she was like, here it is. And then she was, like, looking through it. And she said she was like, I almost thought I had to, like, check into a mental facility. She was like, I lost a grasp on reality because I was like, it was all gone and I didn't have it, but I knew I had it.

And it's like, no, the answer is just he didn't. He went through his phone. He went through your phone. But if you can let your – the other thing is you can't let yourself be gaslit like you said. No, the room is fucking dark. You have to be able to say that. Also, like, it's just – I think when you're a heavy drinker, you're like, oh, yeah, I get that. Yeah, that's –

Foggy memories. That's true too. You move on fast. You're like, oh, maybe it didn't happen. You know what the difference is too though? I – until I got absolutely wrecked by toxic like snooping and all the tactics we joke about with the Me Too 2 movement of going through phones and like signing into people's fucking Apple IDs, all that shit. Like I never even considered doing that. So I never even thought that it was being done to me yeah yeah and then once it's done to you and then you start like fighting fire with fire then it's like well oh yeah now i've been corrupted you know now it's like i would never

i would never let somebody tell me something like didn't happen because in the beginning i would have been like oh man like oh shit i was drunk or Maybe I did. I had multiple girls tell me that I was sleep talking in my sleep and told them about another girl. And I was like, damn, I fucking did it again. Huh? Because I'm just like, Ricky Ram is a fucking snitch. I was just not a manipulative person. So I was just like, okay, I guess i fucking told that girl that i was sleeping with that girl and then i told that one about that one twice in a row crazy and then it was

like oh no that was just like some fucking bullshit thing that i let them believe and get away with while they were like you know going through my phone or doing whatever that they shouldn't be doing so and it was legal by the. It was legal sleeping with each other. It was not an any committed thing. So I was like, yeah, I mean, I am, but we're not dating, whatever. But now I would never let somebody tell me something that I blatantly know to be true. You know what I mean? Like the opposite. I'd just be like, no, no, no.

You know what I mean? You cannot gaslight me anymore. I'm un-gaslightable. I actually am very gaslightable where I just go, ah. Well, you also The ultimate So then there's my level But your level is the true nirvana You can't fight someone

And do the gaslighting thing With someone who doesn't care Or just like I don't know I don't know I don't know and I don't care Did it happen? Did it not happen?

I don't know It might have That's the same personal responsibility I was talking about Where I don't have it. I'm like, yeah, maybe. Feidelberg's the ultimate and it's going to drive girls nuts. He's just kind of like, maybe it happened, maybe it didn't happen. Are we breaking up over this?

Because if we're not, then let's just forget about the details of did or did not and just move on. What's your feeling right now? You want to pull a chute? Pull a chute. Right. But that is a really – sometimes that is a good card to play where it's like – Most times it's not. In my experience, it's 50-50 at best.

Yeah. But you can't fight that. You can't fight that. But that's – the gaslight is the nice you can't fight that you can't fight that but that's the gaslight is the nice you can't fight it move like that's why we gotta keep that in the bag cause if I'm just going

I can't I don't remember that that stops the fight yeah if I'm just like I don't remember that it's like trying to fight with a child there are literally times

I'm the face down baby in an aisle right being like I'm not moving yes you gotta do something and I yeah you're the parent going I'm the face down baby in an aisle. I'm not moving. You got to stop that. You're the parent going, well, I should not reinforce this behavior, but how the fuck are we going to get out of this target if the kid's just laying on the ground?

I got to pick him up eventually. You got to get me my toy. Yeah, I'm going to get him the toy. That didn't happen. Feidelberg is the toddler crying in the in the department store who wants me it's crazy man uh you that's why you know i uh i know you say you're gonna you're bad you're gonna be bad at, but you might be the best at Survivor. Because, like, I get someone who plays the game like Che, who's, like, incessant about, like, you know, like when you watch them with Jackie's season being, like, every single second for the last six months he's been playing the game.

Yeah. And you go up against the guy who's just like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's just fucking circus music going on. Like, there will be a moment in Survivor Where it's like

John what are you thinking right now And he'll be like Why don't Justin peanut butter cups Get more praise than Reese's What do you mean I'm not about the game He's like well you asked me what I was thinking I'm thinking about peanut butter cups right now

You guys have been doing way too much math I zoned out way back there Yeah but That might get you voted off right away That might You might end up winning Yeah it's going to be a toss off right away. That might – you might end up winning. Yeah, it's going to be a toss-up. It's – yeah.

That is going to be – It is literally one of those two options. I'm either gone like the first two votes or I'm at the final vote being like, what the fuck? How did I get here? Yeah, yeah. You might fall ass backwards into like 100K or whatever the prize is going to be. That's one of those things. It is – the cat's out of the bag now because it was talked about on Kirkman Hand.

I think Jeff tweeted about it, but in case people don't know, that's one of those things that they were probably going to keep under wraps until 24 hours before it comes out. No, no. We're doing Surviving Barstool this season, and it's like the all-stars. It's like Dave, Dan, me, Feidelberg. We don't have the cast fully set, but it's

going to be the originals and the veterans and stuff. Mixed in, I think, with some new people and some of your favorites from the first seasons. So that's sure to be – I don't think we know when, where, all that yet. But I think we all have at least tentative agreements, yeses from everybody like ourselves to do it. So that – I mean, I swear to God, I swear to God, if people don't just vote out Dave,

and they won't, and he'll probably win, but like, I don't think John's voting for Dave. I don't think, John, John will vote for whoever talks to him last. It will,

right before the vote, if someone sneaks in and says, vote for this person, he's going to go, okay. I'll say right now, if Dave comes to me and says, don't vote for me. He's not voting for me. But if Kirk came to you after him, does Dave's way the most? Dave probably has the most. So you're not going to vote for him. This is how it happens.

You get a bunch of fucking pussies in a room who are afraid of Dave, you're not going to vote for him. Okay, never mind. This is how it happens. This is how it happens. You get a bunch of fucking pussies in a room who are afraid of Dave, and he's going to win. How many people from Milton are there? Because none of them are going against Dave. I don't think – like if there's a majority Milton – I think it's going to be like Feidelberg and Dave. Yeah, as far as I know, Hank and Gaz are – Maybe Hank, but I don't think so. Yeah, I haven't heard Hank.

Hank would actually be funny in Survivor. Hank would be great. Imagine a Hank Feidelberg alliance. I could see them two getting to the finals, and it's like, how did Hank and Feidelberg do it? And then all the footage is just them eating ice cream together. People are like, what, you want to talk about the Patriots? I don't know. Eating sandwiches sideways and shit.

Who knows? Like, I always thought if there was a survivor with Tommy, you have to vote Tommy out first. You have to vote Dave out first. As long as he doesn't ask me not to vote for him. But like, it's not even a matter of...

I'm actually... I am in a... The best place I've been with Dave, maybe my entire career here, it's not even like a thing where I'm like, vote him out because I fucking hate him. It's like it's just about – if you want to play the game, when people do Survivor, the reason why like people rise to power or get to the finals is because nobody knows going in who the guy is. We all know.

We know. So get rid of him. Well, here the guy is. We all know. We know. So get rid of him. Well, here's my thing. I don't have any interest in playing the game. And that's the game in and of itself. I don't want to play. That's where it becomes. But you genuinely don't want to play?

There's a level. Not that I don't want to. I want to do surviving Barstool. Right. I don't want to do? There's a level. Not that I don't want to. I want to do surviving Barstool. Right. I don't want to do all the vee, vee, that stuff. So I'm going to see what happens if you just don't do it. Has anyone ever tried this in game show history? Yeah.

Not interested. It might be a good experiment. Sass for most dangerous. How long did he last? Like a whole time. God damn it. But see that. He lost because he didn't vote for himself or something.

Like, it was something ridiculous. In episode one last night of Barstool's Most Dangerous Game Show, Francis tried to vote for himself, and they wouldn't allow it. So there might be some rules on that. But there's also – I wouldn't vote for myself. But there actually sometimes is some logic of, like, if you know you're not going to get any

other votes so one vote against you doesn't matter that way i didn't i never voted against any of you guys i can truly say that you know you could play that game but i i think there's a difference between not wanting to play because you're like i don't want to do this and not playing the game as a strategy and you're leaning more towards like i don't want to you know you're not like you're not doing this on purpose you're just like i i'm it is 100 but that also might be the purest way to do it i'd rather not like backstabbing and really just have those conversations they're not interesting conversations to me i just want to hang out with the boys yeah like in jackie's thing last night was like come to the cabin like i come to the cabin i toss you a beer, we enjoy the scenic view.

Chateau, yeah. I'm like, alright, you gotta go back to the tent. If anyone else wants to come hang, don't come up. What you almost want to do is make everyone think you had some big conversation, but you're like, I don't know, we just talked about fucking movies. I don't know. Jackie on Most Dangerous game trying to sit right it was unbelievable i mean just no no no no i can't do that i can't do that it was all of them were just every other way you could sit sitting like legs crossed so my legs down sit on the

couch sit on a chair they're just all the different ways to sit but no matter what you did pat walked in oh look at cruella de vel over here it's like no matter what you're yeah it was great with like the it wasn't overlaid then but it was earlier in the show word and and i do agree with all these people who were saying it uh where there are a couple of things been like jackie's smarter than she leads on or jackie like hides her intelligence or whatever as i said and then like 10 minutes later, she's like, how should I sit? I don't know what was better, the chair, Jackie versus the chair,

or the fucking, like the meeting of the minds of Rudy and Jackie. They cut like five minutes of that conversation. It was so much longer. Oh my God, I can't imagine it being more of that. It was longer? What other moves? It was, I think I was saying like, I think like, I'm pretty sure when he was like, there's

so many things that you can do with your eyes. That was like, name them. Like you can't, you can blink and you can like cross-eyed, but other than that, like what other things can you do with your eyes? I'm not even talking about the game anymore i just want to know what you can do with your eyes that was a dumb thing to say tell me what you mean by that um we're gonna need that that footage i mean you guys you guys have history too with surviving barstool yeah exactly you guys are already kind of reality tv show pros yeah um yeah it was i was

i was really shocked when everyone like when i left and everyone was like like at the campfire and was like no like i'm not surprised like she's smart like i was like i don't think i've ever been called you're very you're very it's like a street smart thing yeah you know we're not calling you for for phone a friend and who wants to be a millionaire but i think you know how to – I mean Survivor was – You know how to deal with people. Yeah. And that is – that's the only kind of smart thing that matters.

Well, just keep watching. Well, wait. Speaking of knowing how to deal with people, literally some of the most gangster shit I've ever seen was you going along with that lie. Why did you do that? That was dope. That was just like, yo jackie is a vault you could tell her about your dead bodies and she'll lie right to the police for no reason

yeah why why and you you did you were just like what no that's a great lie you're a sociopath you're a fucking gaslighting manipulator i'll be honest uh pat texted me and then he said like but yeah i well yeah but like oh okay yeah i i would just be like no i'm not gonna fucking stick my To be honest, Pat texted me, and then he said, like – But, yeah, I – well, yeah, but, like – Oh, okay. Yeah. I would just be like, no, I'm not going to fucking stick my neck out for you like that. Yeah, but then I was like, at that point, there was just no point in – like, Dana was – or Pat was, like, one of the only alliances that – solid alliances that I had, so I was like, I can't go against him. So I was like –

I guess that makes sense. It makes sense but i mean that was sometimes i think when we're at when we're doing reality shows at barstool we forget we're at barstool and we're like pretending we're actually on reality like tv yeah and it's like he obviously went to the fucking room he yelled out i'm gonna go diarrhea guys and disappeared so like like that if i was on that i would have just been like wait a minute i'm back at barstool yeah yeah he came he fucking came and and then like pat would have been like what the fuck but it would just be like yeah listen i don't know man we're not

actually on fucking abc right now i respect that he like took that to the grave though yeah man i mean did did did they really people really believe him I don't know. Like Dana was kind of like – You know who doesn't have diarrhea? The guy who announces I have diarrhea. There was a thousand better ways to just disappear for a couple minutes. But it did luckily give us what – it may be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like I've watched it a hundred times now.

I've had tears in my eyes almost every time. Dana. Dana Beers. Pat says he's out in my eyes. Almost every time. Dana, Dana beers. Pat says he's out in the woods. He's got diarrhea, buddy. We all got that. He says he's taking a dump.

He's got diarrhea, buddy. We all got diarrhea. Like for people who weren't following along when I first tweeted it, like I clarified this morning, like there has not been a disgusting food challenge. There's, but they've been there no

reason three hours as far as we know dana's diet remains unmolested and yeah he's like buddy we all got diet and that following him being too fat to be on the plane dude and dana is looking pretty big in that onesie it is dude it's so weird first of all i'm hoping that he described it in a convoluted way because what he said made it sound like he was 300 yes he's not he was not 300 right he was 260 because so he was 280 he got down to 260 and he needed to be like 250 right because he said i'm 280 i dropped 20 pounds him. I think the producers of these shows are little motherfuckers. He said, I'm 280. I'm too big to fly.

And I dropped 20 pounds. So I was like, was he three bills? I think. And maybe I'm wrong. Because I saw him issue a tweet correction. And then I rewatched the clip because the clip got tweeted out. Yeah. So I watched it again. And I was like, oh, even the audio sounds different.

I think they fucking – Yeah. Something like that. That's reality producer shit. If you say it, you say it. I said it in a sentence. What do you mean you can't fucking fuck with my sentence? Right.

You can make people say all sorts of things. That's a little too far. But – I remember he was only 10 pounds over. Yeah, that makes sense. 260, 250. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, what is 10 pounds going to do?

You could still jump out. I guess it's the – You know what? I'm pretty surprised a lot of people can't go skydiving who aren't morbidly obese. A lot of people were 250. I actually didn't realize – I'm good, but if I have a tough year, I'm not good anymore. Yeah, that's crazy to me. I mean, I guess it makes sense.

You can't be, you know. 250, like, again, maybe this is just me. But if you think about what you're doing, like, it's like when they say you should only take two Advil. You could probably take, like, 40. Yeah, yeah. But they got to make sure that they don't kill you. We are actively jumping out of a plane. If they get the weight thing wrong, like, they probably have to be safe by, like, 300 pounds. Yeah. You probably could go skydiving with, out of a plane. If they get the weight thing wrong, they probably have to be safe by like 300 pounds.

They probably could go skydiving with like a six. A parachute could probably hold like 1,000 pounds, but we ain't going to go skydiving with an 800-pound man. What's the heaviest person who ever skydived? Imagine like the guys in the fat pen skydiving. Like if Frank the Tank went skydiving, and he's just floating through the air. I will say the place that we went skydiving, we later realized is under investigation for too many people dying.

And we were like, oh my god. How many people died? I don't know. Dude, 230 in some places. Some places I can't skydive. Yeah, that's, you know, that's... Because think about it, man. They're not fucking around.

I'm sure a parachute can hold like 10x that, but we're not even going to come close to this. So, I'd have to say... It's not easily findable. There's a lot of a lot of like, there's the guy who got the first question on Millionaire Wrong.

There's like a lot of unceremonious exits. But showing up, being too fat for the challenge, and getting voted off. Dude, everyone just being like, well, he's too fat. It was crazy. It was. That was where I was like, oh, we're back, baby. Yeah, yeah. And that was going to air no matter what.

But like everyone was just like, well, I mean, he is fat. Like what? When we do these things, I feel like on Survivor we saw it too. The first vote is hard for people, and so they just latch on to anything. So it was like White Sox Dave slept, walked, he's out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was drunk, he's gone. Dana's fat, he's gone. They just want something that everyone will agree upon,

and then we can get through the first night, and then we can start playing the game. So just being like, yeah, we'll vote the fat guy out. It is funny that we just keep just like without pause just being like, yeah, fat ass Dana and the fat guy. It should be made clear. And you said it the other day. It's because Dana is not fat. There are fat people at this company who I do not call fat.

Dude, it happened to you the other day. You posted it. Billy Football said no one at this company can beat me arm wrestling. And you posted the picture of you flexing. Yeah, yeah. And somebody – I didn't. I quote tweeted it.

Nick actually asked if he could post it, and I said you can. Yeah. I didn't want to get you into an arm wrestling competition without you knowing about it. But somebody tweeted me being like, you have painted a very incorrect picture of Feidelberg, the way you describe him. I'm like, of course, yeah. Yeah.

If you actually were like a fat slob, and I was just like, you're a fat slob, that would be the meanest thing ever. I say it because he's fucking yoked. I'm very comfortable calling Dana fat because he's not fat Who would I don't know Wrangle them up and put them in their own section Right to their face No one would ever do that right

But Dana in the onesie It was funny because It was like Huge in the arms And like in the neck And like baggy in the legs and then just stretched by the belly and i was like that's just the guy who's been drinking he's not a fat guy he's just the guy who's been drinking he like held his whole belly at one point that is a case of beer you

cut that out yeah and he did you know i think most of it at least and you're you know a tall skinny guy so anyway that's uh that's Most Dangerous Game Show. Wait, can we also talk about Jackie putting her foot in her mouth after both shows she's been on? She's won the first competition. Crazy. And then immediately, like, told everyone Tico was on her period and then, like, made an enemy out of Francis, like, instantly.

Yep. What'd you do with Francis? I was, like... For no reason. They didn't compete at all. It was word vomit. It wasn't even me. It was just like something within me.

That's like my pattern, I guess. She just went... She was just like, I'm just happy I beat Francis. He's a Harvard grad. I can say that I beat him. And he was just like, why are you guys so obsessed with that? That was funny. Why do you say that?

Why do you all care about that so much? He said it was very funny. But there was just like absolutely no reason. There was no like it was down to her and Francis and she showed him up. It was a puzzle that she finished first, beat like ten other people, and she was like, I beat Francis. There was no reason for that. No reason for that. It wasn't that bad, but it shows.

I get that because of your age where like I think when you're younger, and I think to Francis' point, we are all mostly older now. And, like, when you're younger, when you're 22, 23? 23. 23? Like, where you went to college? You said that like she was 105. Jesus. Because I'm basically 24.

Almost 24. So, like, this would probably be are probably like the last year where like you do care about where someone went to college yeah well when you're like at that age you get mad like it's not it matters it also just like stems to conversation you probably know people who know people like that it's still like a thing in conversation where you went to school most of us are like 30 plus now it's not really a thing anywhere else except with francis it's like oh we go to harvard it's the top of the top so it's going to be a little bit more no one no one is saying that about any other school no one's going to be like oh you went to fucking dartmouth i beat you in a

puzzle game but also you're at the age and and the the the time here at barstool and it's good because it makes these shows good where you just say shit unprompted. Because producers are like, yeah, just go. I'll be on that shit and just be like, yes, no. That's it. You ain't getting shit from me, man. I'm not talking myself into it. That's when I tried telling

Love Island or whatever, I guess. Oh yeah, whatever happens. Nothing. That's crazy. That is a misstep by them. They were just showing their tits. Jesus Christ. I know. They said not to.

They were like, don't be like a slut. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever, dude. Maybe that's why you didn't get in. But I kept trying to, I think, like, the interview, I kept trying to be like, I'm, like, you don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. Like, saying that. And I kept trying to like emphasize

like i'm really but i think it came off more like i'm kind of like slow or like dumb or something and i think that could have been like rocks i'll tell you what like their instagram or their twitter and instagram we get a lot more interaction if you're around there. I follow it because you were doing the interviews and it's getting two or three retweets by the people on it. That's a very bad misstep by them. But whatever. Because we've got our own game show.

Watch Most Dangerous Game Show during the week at some point on the Barstool YouTube. While we're talking, I just wanted to. Yeah, well, I was going to say while we're doing reality TV show stuff. I read an article the other day and it was really funny. Give me a second. A former Bachelor contestant killed himself.

Yeah. I'll get to the funny part. And I read it. I don't know why I read it. I don't watch the show. I've never heard of this guy. But I was like... Oh, I know why you read it.

I don't know. Yeah. Looking for tips. You're always keeping an eye on the opponent. See what everyone else is up to. Did he really just say, I don't know why I read it? Dude, he's talking about suicide every single second of the day. But I read it, and in the article, it was...

Oh, he's alive? He's alive? What? No way! What a twist, dude! Wait. Wait, what? Yo, I've got to do a video on this guy.

That's crazy. That's fucking nuts. Well, anyway. Yo, you should like lose your, you know, that's crazy. Someone gets into your account and posts that you're dead. That's not like a hack. That's like, I don't know. You should start reevaluating how you use social media.

If you can get hacked and someone goes, mental health matters. He's no longer with us, and everyone goes, I did it. Holy shit, man. That's fucked. Is that really what happened? He just posted something like... Ivan Well,

my account was hacked for the last 24 hours. I've been trying desperately to get into it. Somebody was playing a cruel joke and mocking my mental illness and the struggles i've gone through with depression and suicide attempts and um i'm sorry for all the pain they caused when they made that post um i just got back into my account. What a hot twist. I am going to do all I can with my team to try to identify who is behind this.

But, again, I apologize for the confusion. And I will update you guys as more facts come in. I was just about to say this. I don't want to be insensitive, but he's alive now, so he can be. I mean, I think this guy posted this and then was like, oh, shit, I shouldn't have posted that. Like, wanted attention or wanted to see what would happen if he did it, was drunk, was high, something. You can't be, like, someone on my team when you're just a random bachelor dude. A team is strong.

Bro, there are so many people who don't have teams. Man, you're one of them, bud. Me and my team? And once they're like, what, you got a DIT guy on your team? You got Paz? Hey, Paz, did you post that I killed myself? No. I talked to my team. They didn't do it.

Like, where's... That's a guy who was like, you know, had a breakdown and did some stupid shit and had the background. I don't know what he did, but Dave got his team. Thank God you brought this up. But now for the most interesting part of this. Let's go back to when you thought it was funny that this guy killed himself. Now we can have a field day with this.

What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? That wasn't the funny part. That's why I said give me a second. I dude? That wasn't the funny part. That's why I said, give me a second. I was going to get to the funny part. The funny part was in the article, it was describing his life because he had killed himself. And it was like in blank, blank year, he came out as pansexual. And then like next paragraph was like in this year, he came out as bisexual. And I just thought that was funny.

That's like a thing. Was he downgraded? I'm not fucking everything anymore. He came out of the closet too fast. Yeah. I thought I liked something. I didn't like it. I started picturing him, like, sucking some girl's dick,

being like, this is too far. I went too far. Too far. Never mind. I don't think I liked it. Guys, girls, that's it. Doing the homerun back into the closet a little bit. I went too far. Too far. Never mind. I don't think I like this thing. Guys, girls, that's it. Doing the homerun back into the closet a little bit.

That is very funny. See, I told you I was going to get there. I'm pansexual. Fucks one transgender person. I'm bisexual. I'm bisexual. That is... Look at that. 12, 15 pansexual icons. Bro, are we calling...

Again, I don't want to pile on this guy, but Josh from The Bachelor is an icon? I mean, I can only name one pansexual person. It's Dan Levy's character from... Yeah. I think he is in real life, isn't he? Is he? I actually thought he was just bi in real life

I could be wrong I don't know He might have had a similar situation as Josh here did where he came out Panned and said I think Miley is right Is she? Miley is such a gangster man That is so funny

Did this like just come out I didn't hear this 20 hours ago wow alright I'll do one minute after this are you paying too much for your wireless plan

straight talk just introduced the new straight talk multi-line plan where more lines means more saving just $25 per line per month

when you get 4 lines with unlimited data talk and text all on nationwide 5g plus no contracts no hidden fees and no compromises i'm pretty much convinced that the whole world is just like on their old plan not realizing that there's just better ways to do it yeah like to me i i know i i get like an auto thing it's just like oh you paid like 200 this month and i'm like what for fucking what what no i can get it for $25.

But it's like, you got to do this and cancel that. It's like, go do it, and you will save a lot of money a month because people like Straight Talk is providing multiple lines with everything you need for $25. No compromises, no hidden fees. And then no contract, too, is great. I feel like everyone else is, like, locked in for years on end. They, like, own your soul. You just don't have to do any of this anymore. No contract no contract too is great. I feel like everyone else is locked in for years on end. They own your soul. You just don't have to do any of this anymore. No contract is always ideal. Always. Always keep your options

open. Always stay with the lowest cost possible. And as long as you can get that nationwide 5G and the unlimited data, get up to four lines for your whole family, that's the way to go. So that's Straight Talk, talking from Straight Talk Wireless. Available at Walmart and Walmart.com.

Anyway, real quick, just wanted to – a little bit of overlap at Barstool Radio. Talking about the greatest reality shows out there. I mean Barstool Radio is just fucking ripping right now. I mean Nate came right on here and we said he would have his downfall and it was maybe his worst ever. Yeah. That was absolutely one of the most insane moves really truly truly the most insane move in barcelona history like the guy who never fires anybody had to fire one person the first person and nate kicks in the door that's insane and then when i found out it was matt fitz Gerald, I thought it was going to be like we fired Eddie and Clem, the two most lovable guys in the world.

It was Matt Fitzgerald. Are you going to stick your neck out like that and ruin your fucking life for that, dude? Are you nuts? And Nate might be right. I don't know. But to say like, well, now we can't cover the NFL is such a card to play. Dude, that is insane. That's the card, dude.

I mean, Nate was like he's top five in page views. And I was like, you know, listen, if we let go of a top five podcast, people would be like, wait, what's going on? So in his world, it's a big deal. Unfortunately, Nate's world doesn't matter. It's just not as important. The bigger thing, like Dave said, is acting like we cannot replace Matt Fitzgerald is the problem. That's the issue with the blog. If Matt Fitzgerald can be the best blogger on the website, the website stinks.

Poor Matt Fitzgerald caught a lot of straights. He's coming on Barstool Radio today, so by the time you listen to this, you can go back and listen to Matt. But I did tweet, like, I mean, nobody has their singular layoff put on blast the way we did with Matt. That's kind of the Barstool way, but also a lot of people at Barstool sign up for something. Matt signed up for, like, remote blogging and all of a sudden found himself catching the most strays in the world. So in that regard, um, that sucks.

But I actually think Matt will probably get rehired because of this or some other blog. We'll find them now. So I think it'll actually be a good thing, but that was probably not the most fun thing to have an hour straight of your, of your, uh, but we'll find out from Matt later today.

And then you guys, while you're listening to this, you can go back. Partial radio is available as video replay. Live at 12. Video replay right afterwards. Then that afternoon, upload it as an audio podcast and there is a clips

YouTube where you can just watch all the highlight clips. We're going to probably start getting the audio within an hour. That afternoon, right after your lunch break, if you didn't watch it live, you can listen on the audio immediately. Dave is like a wild card.

Sometimes he's in, sometimes he's out, so you never know what you're going to get. We got a new set moving around the office depending on where Dave wants it to be, but we basically just need a couch and a camera and a couple mics and we rip it. So every day, 12 Eastern. And it's fun.

Last episode, Feidelberg was saying no matter how much we repackage this, you can't replace likability and talent. But there's one little cheat code and it's just like insane amounts of drama. And if you just lean into that, it's fun watching all the feedback as people just being like, I'm so fucking happy this is back. And, you know, for a franchise that doesn't often get that, it feels good

to just have a show that is absolutely ripping right now. So, Barstool Radio every day, and we do it differently from KC Radio. So, for instanceool Radio every day, and we do it differently from KFC Radio. For instance, you won't get sagas about... Do you guys know about this? No, nobody else

knows about this. You won't get sagas about killing dogs. Actually, should I even... Off the rip she says that, right? So I don't have to hide it? Yeah. Let me go back to my text. So, I got this. Does anybody, actually, this ties in nicely.

Does anybody remember Ugly Gabby from radio? I actually don't. So long time ago. I remember the name. Long time ago, this girl called in and said, like, I think she said, like, you're ugly and have a lazy eye or you're fat or something like that to me. And then we, we looked her up and she was a little bit overweight and i was like fuck you ugly gabby and then we ended up becoming really cool and she shed a lot of pounds and um and we just what did that happen in no no no um she became cool we made peace recently relatively like in the last

couple years pretty sure she got hot became single and started fucking girls wow i think that's like uh josh's trajectory yeah exactly this is all very tying together nicely where is your text messages with me let me see um okay so she sends me this is this is kind of long but it's but it but it starts off with a bang it started out she said i have a moral dilemma i was like okay let me hear it first sentence i have to kill my boyfriend's dog little backstory he bought a teacup yorkie for his girlfriend freshman year of college two weeks later she calls him and said she hates him and get rid of it he felt bad for the dog so he just kept him 17 years later he's still around and is ruining my life he smells like rotting

flesh looks like something straight out of a horror movie. One milky white eye from being blind. The only other has 40% vision. His three activities in life are shivering, pissing, and sleeping. My man, oh, I guess she's back to fucking guys. My man has been saying he needs to be put down, but doesn't feel right because technically he's, quote, fine, according to the vet. He recently got a coaching job at the University of Kentucky and is committing until he can find a place. He wants to wait until he moves back, then euthanize the dog, since it'll be a full circle of life starting and ending in Lexington.

Now, this is where the dilemma falls on me. I think the dilemma is already pretty much established. Now, this is where it gets hilarious. We constantly have to stay at his place to accommodate this dog because I don't want him leaving the scent of a dead body in my house. This is very inconvenient. I have lotions, serums, exfoliators, hair products, makeup, and not to mention a full closet of clothes I need at my disposal since I never know what to wear at work. This would be fine if it were just a night or two, but we're talking every other night 50-50 custody with my daughter. I've come up with a solution, but this may kill all karma I've built up with in my life. I obviously have to kill the dog.

I've googled it. Overdosing him on Benadryl would take a lot, and I don't have the stomach to be that close to his mouth, much less two snaggled teeth and a slobber and have his slobber touch me. I don't have it in me to smother the poor thing. So this is the solution I come up with. When my boyfriend goes to work, I get the dog euthanized, then put him in his crate and go along with my day. When he comes home, he'll just find the dead dog

thinking he peacefully went with God and that I'm lifting the burden of the emotional rollercoaster of having to do it himself. What a heroic moment by me. The dog is 99% dead. He just needs a little push to the other side. Thoughts?

You gotta kill that dog. Gotta kill that dog. Now here's the thing. I do not think... I would be skeptical, I'll say, that they let you leave with a dead dog if you get it euthanized. I think they're like...

Oh, no, I just killed the dog. You can do it. And you take it home? I didn't take it home. Like if you want to bury it in your yard or something? Yeah. Remember the Wall Street option is group cremation? Right.

But they'll just give you the body. Yeah, they gave us our dog in like a garbage bag in a box. I'm from a bad neighborhood. If that didn't come through. Because I remember my dad worked in a vet's office when he was like a teenager. Everyone else was like at the snack bar, you know, whatever, working at the diner. My dad was throwing dogs into the kiln. And he said he would just throw like 20 in there a day.

Oh, my God. Just like shoveling coal except it was dead dogs. And he was like, it was the worst. I was like, why would you do that that's insane bro i wouldn't do that for like ten thousand dollars an hour let alone like you know you're really 16 year old like beer money shit i remember in high school there was a girl that i was like trying to hook up with that worked out of that clinic and when we started talking about it she just got real like yeah no you just you just get over you just get over it it was just like you know just throw these

so they'll give you the dog back okay then that was my only thing was like i thought that you know they're like we're not gonna let you just walk out here with a dead body we don't know what you're gonna do with it or whatever like i thought by law maybe they have to dispose of it. No, no. You can get it. I just killed a dog. You can do it. In that case, yeah, what's he going to have, an autopsy?

No. Yeah, you can get away. It'll probably eat at you. I don't think that'll leave – this girl? She doesn't give a fuck. This girl doesn't give a fuck. This girl has already done this. She doesn't give a fuck. This girl doesn't give a fuck. This girl has already done this. She doesn't give a fuck.

I think – I remember in high school, in Catholic school, we learned about just wars. Yeah. And maybe you learned about them in regular school as well. But I think it was a commandment from God. So I think we did a little harder. Yeah. I mean they had a little bit of a loose interpretation with that, I believe, in the Crusades. Yeah, I'm going to make it a little looser.

Okay. When they, like, this is, you can't look at it as a dog. It's an enemy combatant who is literally standing in way of your life, your way of life. Yeah. Like, it is like, you can't be at home. You can't be by your creams. This is a way no person should have to live. This is savagery.

But also, she could. She just does not want to. Well, she can't because her and the man have to be together. He can't sleep at her house because he has to take care of the dog. This enemy combatant is truly affecting and ruining your way of life. That's a just war.

I'm with you. I don't even think you need to go that far. I think you can just kill animals when you don't want them anymore. I'm not saying, like, you know, if it's like a one year old puppy and it's a problem I wouldn't do that you can rehome it

you can do a lot of things but I think yeah what do you think happened to my sister's gerbil when we were kids yeah like I'm kidding you're just waiting

for a cancer diagnosis just say he has it or something yeah I don't know I guess vets won't like the vet was just like he's fine

I can't do it but like I think you I mean I think they I think they can't – like the vet was just like, he's fine. I can't do it. But like I think you – I mean I think they can't. Oh. I think you can just – like I think she's talking about it. I think you just go and say, kill this thing. Yeah. They'll be like, done.

You're dead. They get over it pretty quick. Do what Melania did to find drugs. Look for the one-star rating and go to the – I feel like a vet will not only euthanize that thing, I feel like he'll do it like, break the neck, here you go. You don't even have to go into the clinic. Stick the dog's head out the window.

You probably could kill this thing on your own if you, you know, drop the doggy bag down the stairs. If you really wanted to euthanize this thing, you could probably get it without even doing it. No, I think dogs, when they get to this level, they're almost. Yeah, this guy's probably unbreakable. He needs the good stuff. If he made it past 13, he's probably going to make it to 23. 17 is, like, my dog was old as shit, and she was 14.

Granted, it was a golden retriever or a golden doodle doodle. Yeah, a big dog. These little motherfuckers can live to, like, 20. And that also plays a factor in my – in the ease with which I'm saying it's time. First of all, I'm not a sentimental person. So, like, when it's time, I'll be the first to tell you. Like, a dog person doesn't matter. Time to go. Dog, grandma, whatever. My mom's dad was my grandfather her

her father she's like jesus christ he's coming home again i think we talked about his end of life he was in and out all the time yeah he's letting him go again this is crazy like i'm but this is this is like a chihuahua type dog yeah right so like with it being so sickly and so blind which reminds me um my friends have a blind dog and i think that's just the funniest thing ever it's tough like wait when they stand in the corner wait no because he because he knows they're home now i know dogs that you get like blind dogs get stuck in the corner because they just hit walls and they just stop but she just woke up blind she had vision

they woke up one morning I think the dog's blind because it was just walking on the walls the whole time but now when they go on vacation and they take the dog the dog's used to the light out of the house so I'm thinking from its perspective I just got transported to a new place I think they moved all the furniture.

Why'd you put the couch there? I think they added a set of stairs in this room. It's very funny. What's Mac's dog's name? Poppins. I'm envisioning

this dog as a smaller, grosser Poppins. Yeah. It's like the eye that needs to be shoved in, knuckled in. Oh. Yeah, the milky eye is what did it for me. My buddy once had a dog named Snowball that I think had herpes on its eye. And, like, we would go over to the house, and he would always be like, don't touch it!

Don't touch Snowball! The eyes! The eyes! And we'd be like, ah! Ah! Like, so we'd be like, Chris, touch it! Don't touch Snowball! The eyes! The eyes! And we'd be like, ah! Like, so we'd be like, Chris, get rid of this fucking dog

with the herpy eyes. You got a dog with herpes on its eyes? Yeah, it was gross. And it was like, I remember like his mom being like,

it's very contagious! Don't touch the eyes! And I was like, Jesus Christ, why do you want this, like, this hazard moseying around your house?

We have a speedy poison oak tree in the house. Yeah, right, right. You're playing like the floor is lava, but with the dog is herpes. You can never sleep in your friend's house. Yeah. The dog might nudge you awake one day. Get away from me, snowball. There's no way that's true.

I swear. That dude made up that thing so he didn't have to tell his girlfriend how he got herpes. Maybe it wasn't literally herpes. My dog came home one day. Maybe it wasn't literally herpes, but I could see it on his eyeballs. And I was like, ugh, that thing is gross. Yeah, like that would be it for me. Like that dog was perfectly healthy otherwise.

You got herpes on your eyes or some sort of transferable like skin disease, it's over for you, dog. Yeah. It's over for you. Like I – Yeah, you roaming around the house with herpes. I don't know if it's an age thing or becoming a father or both, but I find you go from being like, the doggo, good boys, to being like, okay, guys, enough.

The doggo has herpes, guys. The blind doggo's ruining our lives. You gotta go, bro. Don't touch the doggo. It's gotta go. That's the title of the episode, Ted. The doggo has herpes. Like, come on. Once your dog starts like radically inconveniencing your life people who like have multiple surgeries and they're like we can't travel we can't do anything the dog you know it's like come on guys come on

it's a fucking dog i remember when my mom was cleaning my dog's diaper. And I was like, dude. I would, again, I wouldn't clean a person's diaper. If I have to clean your diaper and you're a person, it's time to move on. It's over. We had a good run. My aunt and uncle had a dog that year. It was a German Shepherd.

And my parents watched it like one weekend later in its life and just shit and puked like projectile everywhere. And it was like you can't be – you can't be not only having this dog but being like we got to go away. Can you watch it? And then having it shit and piss everywhere and puke everywhere. You got to kill this dog. You got to kill that thing. It's a German shepherd. It's a Nazi dog.

Kill it. Yeah, no. I mean listen. You just It's a Nazi dog. Kill it. Yeah, no, I mean, listen. Just gotta kill the dog. I'd love to hear a counter-argument if anybody here has one or anybody out there has one. No, keep his dog alive. I'm on the fence. So you're gonna just keep up with the milky eye and the rotting flesh? The scent of rotting flesh.

Again, my grandfather, when he was dying, his car stunk like rotting flesh The scent of rotting flesh Again, my grandfather, when he was dying His car stunk Like rotting flesh Like It was like, dude, you are dying In this fucking car, man Bro, that Crown Victoria Smelled so bad

It was a Buick Regal, bro One of the two It was a Buick Regal If you are dying. Bro, bro. Wasn't he losing limbs? He had a suicide wheel on his wheel, which is like, because he could only drive with one hand, because they chopped off his other hand. So he would drive around with one hand in a rotting flesh mobile, just crushing out duels if you are if they are if they are lopping off limbs you do not get to go in

public anymore you stay in the house until you fucking die that's it but he all like like he was picking you up oh yeah again in his defense the rock mobile is – I'm not getting in that car. His message to his children was when I'm – but he was a judge, so he was very sharp. He's like, when I'm not mentally here, I'll go. He's like, but I'm here. And he was here. He was there until the end. He could drive. He could crush his own tools.

He had one hand, but he was – He wasn't crushing it. He didn't have limbs. He was losing limbs. It wasn't like when you talked to him, it was like, okay, Grandpa. He didn't have limbs. He was losing limbs. It wasn't like when you talked to him, it was like, okay, grandpa. Right, right, right. What are you doing? So he would flat out be like, yeah, I know I lost my arm, but let's go fucking, you know, yeah.

Yeah, that's tough. That is tough. He'd show up. He got a chauffeur hat because he used to bring me to, like, school a lot. And he has, like, a fun joke. He had a chauffeur hat. And so he'd have a chauffeur hat, a can of Old Duels,

one hand, and a rotten flash. He'd be like, get it, get it, get it. Bro, next episode on fucking... That needs... That can't even be a sketch.

That needs to be a pilot. We need to launch a television show just for that scene because that is... That's the opening i was picturing it the whole time He's rotting flesh numb while he's just driving around. Wait, driving off like a block away, he's like, drive on the lawn.

Sorry, I've had 17 O'Douls this morning. That is the beginning. That's like an Adam Sandler movie from the 90s. It starts out with a little kid doing that that and then it goes like 17 years later and it's you like crushing beers with your buddies that's your origin story that your rotting flesh grandpa used to drive you to school in the morning drinking non-alcoholic beers that is so fucking that is the maybe the funniest thing that's ever come out of this show that is so funny.

Oh my God. All right, let's do voicemails. It's not going to get funnier than that. God damn. God damn, that was funny. I got that car

when he died, by the way it was dude it was just so sick driving a car with a suicide you drove it dude

it was the rotting flesh mobile I thought you were gonna say we fucking burned it you gave it away you drove it no dude I got a I got my first car I thought you were going to say we fucking burned it. You gave it away.

You drove it. No, dude. I got a – my first car was a Land Rover Discovery, and it broke down just nonstop. Yeah, those are bad. And I had it for like three months, six months. I was like, this car sucks. Yeah. Like, I can't – You'd rather drive in a –

I have stress every time I get in the car being like, I don't know if I'm going to get to point B. Like, this car literally doesn't get me pointed to point B. My mom was like, we still have Gramps' car. And I was like, I'll take that. That is great. I went from a Land Rover Discovery to a Buick Regal with a suicide wheel. But that day was like, I'd be like, ah! Fucking dope, dude.

Those should come standard. Those are awesome. Oh, man. We got to do a cartoon or something recreate that that is unbelievable all right let it rip kfc radio is sponsored by better help sometimes we're faced with a crossroads in life and we don't know which path to take maybe you're thinking about a career change or feeling like your relationship needs some tlc whatever it is therapy can help you map out your future and trust yourself the way forward.

I actually – we've been joking about it, but I really was like recommitting to radio every day. I was like, oh, boy, what have I done? And I needed to like remind myself that it was like the right thing to do. And I was like bugging and needed to talk it out because I was like – I was thinking career was going to go this way. And now all of a sudden career is going the total opposite way, in a good way. But I also was like just thinking it was going to be different and life balance, and now it's like totally opposite. And I was just like, oh, no, oh, no.

I had this exercise. Signed back in. I mean, I woke up in the morning just staring at the ceiling. Oh, no, no. But talked it out and felt better about it, and that's what BetterHelp offers. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, you need therapy for any of these things, we're talking about career, life, love, friends, go to BetterHelp because you can do it all online, all on the computer, or all on your phone.

It's entirely done online, like I said. It's convenient, flexible, and fits to your schedule. All you've got to do is fill out a brief questionnaire, and you get matched with a licensed therapist. And if you don't like the therapist, you can keep switching for free, no cost, until you find one that works. You can do it on the phone, on the tablet, on the computer, video, text or phone call. All of it's available.

So let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash KFC today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. What's up, fuckers? I was just listening to the episode about john getting stopped by tsa all of the time and the same thing used to happen to me and i have all of the answers

that you need that's a fun fact those aren't metal detectors who the fuck knew right um i kind of know so i used to get stopped every single time i went through and it was always a square that would pop up right here and i was always like why i don't understand i have metal in my elbow i have metal in my ankle why is it popping up here and i got angry in uh philly a couple months ago because philly tsa agents are fucking cunts. So I got a little sassy when I got up to the machine. Where is this girl? All of our voicemails

are in basements. I don't know why. People go down their basements and hide out of shame. But this looks like a fucking... Okay, keep going. For usual, box lights up. And I was like, why does this happen every time? And I was just like, I wasn't mad at the agent.

I was just, like, agitated at the world. So I just out loud, I was kind of like, why does this happen? I don't even have metal in my chest. Why does this happen? And this bitch looked at me dead in my eyeballs and said, this is not a metal detector. And I was like, what? What do you mean? Yes, it is.

My whole life I've believed it is a metal detector. So it is a metal detector right now. And she was like, no, actually, it has an idea of what the human body is supposed to be shaped like. It scans you. And if anything about your body deters from their idea of the norm, that spot on your body lights up. You got that fat dick, dude. I got a weird looking dick. You got a weird dick.

Bro, that means. Press pause. No way. Bro, that means. Dude. No way. Bro, that means – Dude. No way. That fucking means that if you think about it, if you think about it, if you think about this, the best way – the best way to scan the most amount of humans would probably be an airline.

Like the most amount of people. Like you can't just put it in a school or whatever. We get a picture, the best picture possible in this country, or maybe worldwide, of what a human body and therefore a human dick should look like is from those airport scanners.

The amount of people that run through there. We have a perfect picture of what it should be and you walk through there and that dick goes off. You know the TSA goes, that guy's got a weird dick. Come on over. Let me touch your dick. I got to stand up for my dick real quick. I think if you ask anyone on the planet, you're like, close your eyes and draw a dick.

I think they're going to draw my dick. It's just a – it's fucking off the factory line, dude. It's just a regular ass dick. Bro, what we're telling you is it's not. It just has – It's like the evidence is here. Like thousands, millions of people a day go through these machines and it just goes dick dick dick dick what's that that's what happens that's you man

tsa don't lie like i it's my ankle every time I don't know I got a bony ankle you got a weird dick dude you got a weird dick alright she's got weird tits or something I don't know you got a weird dick yeah that's such a mean thing

for TSA to be like oh it's because you are deformed we know what they now this is it's crazy though cause it's like look around here.

If me and Friday the Tank go through the thing back-to-back, it's going to be like you put a gorilla in here. This is not a human at all. You know? But so how could it – you know. So it must – but it must just be like, okay, this guy is six foot something, 200 something. Nope, that dick's weird. What do you want? What do you want, man?

I'll be honest. Something I've left out in the story is that there's a red box around my dick, but then below it, like behind it, there's there's always the outer part of a yellow box. So you go, we were dicking balls. Oh, you got one. Maybe it's your long balls. Something definitely dangerous, and then maybe a little dangerous. I mean...

Dude, that's so like... I knew it wasn't a metal detector. I didn't know it detected deformities. Bro, your dick is sitting on your balls. And it's just... It's not working. The math ain't mathing. It's just like there should be a dick and then balls,

but instead it's balls and then dick. And it's just not... It's not working. I'm going to have to get a USA person to call in. You know what else is probably the problem? than a dick. And it's just not, it's not working. I'm going to have to get a TSA person to call in. You know what else, you know what else is probably the problem?

You go in there with your fucking small underwear and your dick is smushed. Yeah. And it's probably just like, blah. I did.

There's a ball here and a ball there and a tip there because it's smushed in because you're a six foot three man wearing small underpants. That could be... Definitely.

Like there should be something hanging. Does this guy have a brain to walk in his pocket? What the fuck? How the fuck are all the pieces so far from each other? You got a Picasso dick in there. That's exactly what it is. Like this guy's either got a bomb Or he's wearing the wrong pants It doesn't matter what pants I wear

It's the underpants That's fucking funny man Go through Go commando Next time you're on a plane Cruise right through bro Fuck was I gonna say I do have an update on this too actually

Cause I was just in I was just in Montana Went through TSA I never set I'm telling on myself I never I went through TSA. I'm telling it myself. I never set off the TSA thing. And every time I went through a metal detector or one of those things, wherever they are, four times, I set it off every time.

And it was the same thing, my dick. And they're like, well, we just changed the algorithm. So they recently updated it. So now normal dicks are shaped differently, apparently, according to TSA. That makes sense because it's definitely been a recent problem. So wait, you guys either have old school dicks or new school dicks are shaped differently, apparently, according to TSA. That makes sense because it's definitely been a recent problem. So wait, you guys either have old school dicks or new school dicks? I got a dick like my body.

It looks like a 1970s box. Yeah. Yo, you really do. That's so accurate. Like, Feidelberg looks like one of those guys in a black and white video that has one of those things rubbing his belly. And you fight like this. And someone's throwing a medicine ball at your stomach. That's how you train, bro.

You do look like... You look like someone from the Great Depression. You look like Russell Crowe in Cinderella Man working the docks and shit. You're that guy. It's like your pecs are kind of like... That's what it is.

Your chest looks kind of like a Vince McMahon chest. It makes you look like an old guy from the Great Depression. It's like, that guy's strong as shit, but it all just looks weird. And that's why the machine's like, what? Is this a time traveler? Is this guy flying from 1931?

What's going on? So the TSA updated what their dicks are. Yeah. Maybe dicks are growing, shrinking. I don't know. They're all connected now. That was fucking funny. Why are the pieces all apart?

All right. Next voicemail. Oh, by the way, on a similar note, I did recently buy three new three packs of underwear on Amazon, so I knew what size I was getting. What brand? Calvin Klein. I'm just not large anymore. So they're all way too small. Brother.

And that's going to be an issue. Brother, let me tell you something. At the airport, apparently. Can I tell you something? You haven't been a large for a long time. Bro, you are at least an XL the way that the way the underwear market shifted

we're probably double X's it's crazy it's fucking crazy next up what's up everybody there's the viral video going around of or tweet whatever it was of grown men think that they can land the plane just

by using direction from the air traffic controllers um i saw recently a video of shane gillis saying something about burning somebody's house down and the thought occurred to me i don't know how people die in burning houses and buildings i feel like i could escape any burning building throw a final book guarantee on it it's probably dumb but i just think i could like just just run through the flames you'll be all right my question to you guys is what is a a rational thing that you guys think you can do that you know a class maybe you just have this first time i'm saying that out loud that i could get out of a burning building because it kind of just popped in my head this

is what you know ksu radio like 2012 to 14 15 is built on was just saying shit that we definitely can't do um but we're we are also that was dan was the catalyst for that. Dan was the one who thought he could do everything. We were always like, no way. Yeah. Obviously, we just saw the last episode of the tornado I won't die in. I do agree with the burning building one. Like I don't have any smoke detectors in my apartment. That's the thing though.

That's what people don't get is you – it's the smoke that gets you, not the fire. Yeah, but I just like – Hold your breath. Yeah. I think unless a house is like engulfed, I'm getting out. I might get burned. I might lose a limb like grandpa. But like it has to be like there's a wall of fire on the other side.

So you go running through it and there's just like feet after feet after feet of fire. You know what I mean? But otherwise, I'm like getting through a window somewhere. I think usually what happens is people are drunk or they pass out or they're old and they breathe in smoke, they pass out and they die. Yeah. I think they usually say you die from smoke inhalation before you die from burning. That's a good way to go.

If I had to pick one, I would. I'd probably pick a different one than passing out from smoke and then burning alive. But I'd rather just die in my sleep. Oh, you pass out from the smoke then you burn alive i think i think i think you you know probably wake up and you're like and then you know i i i think you have to be to be really old or really fucked up to be breathing in smoke and just pass out right like without without realizing at first yeah the uh actually that kind of reminds me i just watched I just watched the show. It's Happy Valley. It's a great show. But I just watched season three, which came out back in May.

And we have really overused the term slow burn. I think we've kind of said that before. But this is an actual slow burn and is really good. I think people say a slow burn is when they're like, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks. And then there's a hook. Not even against good, but then there's a hook.

This makes sense with the pacing. It's building and building. The characters, it's good acting. It's an interesting camera. It's an intentional slow burn not like we didn't know what we were doing

so we just like threw in at the end he killed the system I was gonna say stuff has to matter in episode one and in episode like eight for that to have been a slow burn

if the first seven suck and then you radically change the script and it gets good that's not a slow burn I was watching I was like oh this is a slow burn

but that bringing up fire reminded me of that. But I could definitely. That's a final brain moment. Burn, fire. Okay. I could definitely. Because in my apartment, I basically just have two rooms.

I have my living room and my bedroom. And I've knocked the smoke detector out on both of them. And it's actually the one in my living room is funny because you can see all the holes in my broom. Because I have like feelings I can't get to. I just whack it at it. And I haven't replaced them. And this is probably bad luck to say out loud. But I'm just like, well, if the fire is in my bedroom, the door right here, I'll get out that door.

And then if the fire is in the other room i'll just go out onto my my porch and i'll jump to the other building i don't really need some architectures i stand by that that's been a year and a half in the making i'm so far so good the only way to find out is let's set your house on fire i think that would be a cool thing you know how there's these like uh you know like uh to, like, the gun range and you do tactical shooting and shit. You go in a building, they set it on fire, you got to get out. And there's someone waiting with a hose or some shit to save you. I don't know.

Let's prove it, big man. I could get out of that. The plane, I don't super. Planes land themselves. Disagree. I understand. I'll tell you something. I'll give you one.

Along those lines. I don't think what Captain Sully did was that big of a deal. I think... I think... A lot of pilots could have done that. Putting me down on the water?

Putting a bird down on the water? A lot of pilots for sure i'm talking people but i also yeah like you give me the hudson i could put that bird down it can't what happens maybe we maybe we like that we nose dive in a little bit but like if captain celly landed a plane on a mountain i'd'd be like, holy shit. He landed it on a big, wide runway that's a little bit wet. You know? Like, these things float. The, uh...

I think, like, I get planes are different. But, like, if I'm on a boat and you tell me how to dock it, I can dock it. If I'm in a car and you tell me how to park it, I can park it. If I'm on a plane... If logic would dictate, I can do that with a plane, too. Plus, with, like, controls and robots and shit. If it's a plane going down and you really have to maneuver it, I don't know.

Everyone's not going to live, but most people will. I bet you you could put me in a 747 right now, and they would just be like, push this button, pull down this lever, and it would work. I actually don't know if that's that far-fetched. Dude, speaking of planes, did you see that baby today? Dude, this video is so goddamn funny. Outrage sparks over parents dressing their young daughter in a light-up costume on the plane.

Oh, man. I got to do two videos now. Bro, you see the airline that's having the no kids? Yeah. I mean, that right there. I'm not joking. That's a plant. That's Corndon Airlines putting that baby on a plane and saying,

Come over to us. You can fly for $75 more. You'll never have to deal with that. because that is so fucking outrageous to do that. It is. But that like this is this is the problem issue with like Twitter now where like everything is just engagement bait and stuff like that. Yeah. Like it's a 30 second video.

Yeah. They probably turned it off and that no. And then at the end, it just says like, hopefully it didn't persist for long. It's not like the parents were refusing to turn it off. Right. I'm sure the parents were like, oh, oh Jesus Christ sit down. What are you nuts? It's not a big deal at all. But it's got 4.8 million views

and the person's probably making a ton of money on it now. The argument forever rages. It's people without kids and people with kids on planes. If you fly commercial you are taking public transportation. When you go on the subway and there's a bum pissing you don't like it but you're not like get this guy out of here we can you know it's just like this is how it fucking

goes you're on the fucking plane where people where the public can get on the plane too you're open to the public i agree with that wholeheartedly when we were in amsterdam um with my parent my mom uh we got like a semi-private tour and it was like us and like two – it was me, my mom, my brother, a couple, and then like three other – three people in their family or something like that. And we were waiting for people to come on to come meet us to start the tour and they were like 10 minutes late and one of the guys is throwing a hissy fit. He's like, pay a lot of money for this, blah, blah, blah. And the woman was like sir like just you know we're gonna do everything still like there is a built-in to the start of the tour a 10 minute wait like we just in case you're late like right we don't leave exactly at the time right

it's like kind of how things work right and he's we paid a lot of money for this and i said how much was it she's like not a of money. And then we get in the elevator at the Rijksmuseum, and he's still fuming. He had, like, texted her boss about it. And, like, she actually, like, called. She's like, I just got a call. Like, who texted my boss? Yeah, that's so fucking crazy. Running late.

And there were just, like, seven people in the elevator. It's pretty hard to. He's like, ah, I might have. And she's like, why? And he's like, it's just we were running really far behind like no we were waiting for other people like that's part of the good for her and then she said if you're not happy with this experience we do offer private tours and fucking pony up and i was like yeah if you want to not deal with people there is a way to

not pay more money but it costs so yeah you can fly private or shut the fuck up. All right, last voicemail. KFC fights crew. What's good? Just listened to Tuesday's episode with Nate. Y'all are fucking on one the whole time. A1, fantastic episode. My question is,

you know how we have, like, dry heaving when you're about to throw up and, like, edging when you're about to throw up and edging when you're about to come? What is it when you're taking a shit? Like when your asshole is – It's called trying, bro. It's called pushing. It's about to get out, but not quite there.

This guy. I think to bookend it, this's a first word that came to mind. What the French use for beef. Another great clip from Shia LaBeouf. When it's just Francis and Dana. Oh, yeah. What was it? And he's like, yo, New York strip there.

A lot of beef. And Dana's like, yeah. And he goes, you know what the French call beef? And Dana says, no. he goes you know what the French call beef and Dana says no he goes buff and Dana just goes and he starts laughing alright that's it

you're buff that's your buff face done the French are like oh that hit Done. The French are like, what the hell? សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.