KFC Radio - Feits Tells His Favorite Boarding School Memories Ft. Sebastian Maniscalco

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 Feits is big on Threads now 12:56 Bellbottoms at 11PM 23:37 Surviving Barstool Pay-Per-View debacle 34:59 The Holdovers 40:41 Feits' Boarding School Stories 01:00:59 Feits' Grandpa's epic line 01:07:21 More Surviving Barstool / KFC Rado Core Fanbase 01:19:29 Video Voicemails +++++++++++++++++++ Stacker2: Go to https://stacker2.com/barstool, make a purchase online, take a screenshot of your receipt, and tweet us the photo with the #BiteBack for a chance to wi Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Omaha Steaks: Visit https://OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide plus use promo code KFC at checkout to get that EXTRA $30 OFF your order. Solo Stove: Run, don’t walk, to https://solostove.com to pick up the limited-edition Snoop Stove and join Snoop in going smokeless for good. Rent.app: Head to https://Rent.app/barstool for $50 off your first rent payment and download Rent app in the App store todayYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Did somebody know? It was right away. It was, that was my piss! That was my piss, dude! We're like, stop! Stop! Piss break! Not the usual kind. KFC Radio is presented by Stacker 2. It is loud, aggressive, and straight out of the Attitude Era. Stacker 2 is an OG in the energy and supplement space.

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stacker2.com slash barstool make a purchase online take a screenshot of your receipt and tweet us the photo with hashtag bite back for a chance to win. I have a confession. Do I know what I've been doing recently? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. I've been threadzing. Like the Twitter on Instagram?

I use threads. Threads? Yes. You use threads? Yep. All by yourself? Same thing. Yeah.

Pavs. you use threads all by yourself same thing yeah pass it's bro that is the behavior of a crazy person it is it is I agree but here's what I'm

learning pretty quickly when you we're just doing tweeting to nobody we're just doing oh I'm not posting I'm not saying anything I'm learning pretty quickly. We're just doing. Tweeting to nobody? We're just doing. Oh, I'm not posting. I'm not saying anything. I'm just, like, spending my time scrolling on it.

Okay. And what I'm learning is that, like, it doesn't matter what we're scrolling as long as we're scrolling something. Something. That is true. There's definitely truth to that because you're not. Put it this way. You never, like, put your phone down and be like damn that was a good session of twitter yeah like that was a good episode of tv that was a good

movie you're never like damn like twitter really just hit i mean i i moved it up it's right now now just my it goes twitter instagram threads um like it's just wait what do you mean like like just on my order of things that you do? What else is there? I just mean in all my apps. It used to be like four pages back, and I just moved it up to like a more accessible area. And people are on there. Yeah. You bring word from the land of threads.

Like I thought that that was dead. No, people use it. It's just fun. I'm not doing anything on Twitter either. And so I'm just like, I'm just scrolling. Any better or worse? Same. Yeah, the same.

Toxic. I wouldn't say toxic. But I don't think Twitter is toxic when I just scroll a timeline either. I feel like I always see something. But I also have a rule where I don't chase things. Where I'm not like, who are they replying to? Who are they replying to? What's this about?

I'm just saying I usually, like, within a scroll, it's like my sports teams, and then, you know, some, like, sure enough, there's a tweet like, you know, he should pay for dinner on a date. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, there we go. Like, that's the beginning. I don't get much of that. I think, like, you're a he should pay for dinner on a date. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, there we go. Like, that's the beginning. I don't get much of that. I think you're a 4U guy, right?

No. Well, I get duped into 4U. I don't know if it's like when you close all the way out of the app and if you reopen it, it defaults to 4U or if I have a setting on or whatever. But I don't look at that. So what I open up and i start scrolling and then usually when some fucking like lame shit that i hate i'm like why am i looking at this i'm like i look up and i'm on the for you yeah i'm like fuck then i switch back over to to following but like it's gotta you know it's gotta like jump out at me the uh it's it's objectively it's a lame reason

but like i i was like i this weekend i'm was like, I'm going to start using threads. It was like I – there was a Musk video, and I was like I – it's lame how much I hate him. I was like I can't fucking see this guy anymore. Dude, that video of him at the New York Times Book Summit. When he gets the name wrong, that one? That one and when he's like – And then see the other one. It's just like when he, they're like,

it's Andrew Ross Sorkin who's interviewing him, and he's just like, what do you say to advertise who are leaving? He's like, it's just him trying to,

it's a man who's so deeply uncool, who just so badly wants to be cool, and he's like, when you say the advertising, he's like, go fuck yourself,

and he says it like, and he's like, trying to like, with that weird voice he has, put his chest out, and he's like, and Sorkin's's like, what do you say to the afterthought? He's like, go fuck yourself. And he says it like, and he's like trying to like put his chest out. And he's like, and Andrew Ross Orkin's just like, what? And he's like, go fuck yourself. And like, he's waiting for like applause from the crowd or something like that. And no one's saying anything. And everyone's like, what? And he's like, G-F-Y.

Can I make it any more clear? And then he's like, and then he's like, Andrew Ross Orkin's just like, well, it's gonna, like, I get that, but let's be realistic here. You're gonna lose all your money. It's gonna kill the company. And he's like, no, it will be documented.

They will have killed the company. He's like, well, yeah. The company will be dead. He goes, and we'll have all the documents, and we will show Earth, and we will let Earth decide. And I was like, this guy fucking sucks, dude. Yeah, dude. And honestly, it wasn't even this weekend. It was – it must have been Wednesday.

It must have been Wednesday I saw this tweet. Because I had it quote tweeted, and I was like, it sucks so bad to have to watch someone so uncool trying to be cool, whatever. And then I was like, yeah, you know what? who gives a fuck john and i deleted it and then the next day dave was like twitter can we have money please i was like thank god send that fucking tweet yeah um but then i was like i was like and then and then i started noticing more just like the advertisements i get on twitter we're like like i get like started noticing more just like the advertisements I get on Twitter. I get like Gavin McGinnis advertisements. Who's that? I think that's his name. He's just like a Nazi.

Dude, that's what I'm telling you. Like in the actual sense of the word. Yes. Like all that for you shit is just right-wing nonsense. And I'm like, I promise you this is not for me because I hate this. I'm actively hating this while I look at it. The other day I was scrolling Twitter. I almost deleted it after this.

I saw two killings, like two people get shot in the head. And then I saw somebody was quote-tweeting, Jack Harlow has his fourth number one hit, and then somebody quote-tweeted with, can we just slip this guy some press Xanax and get it over with? I was like, I'm deleting this. Before 9 a.m. I saw. God damn. I was like, I'm deleting this. Before 9am. God damn. Yeah, no, it is.

It is about it. And it's just like you start to notice it and I'm like, fucking pussy John will run threads. Having a nice little morning drinking his coffee. I actually just opened it. It's nothing, but again, I'm not reading anything on Twitter either, like Seinfeld episodes.

I don't know who most people are rap rap before rap before to i again uh elijah fury i don't know this one's about israel um but uh yeah i don't know it's just like i'm just it all sucks i mean bargazi's got that old joke about it like from his half hour stand-up special where he's – I think he's talking about Facebook at times. So it is cyclical with what apps are doing what. No, Facebook is – he goes through the – he talks about following Leo on Twitter and how celebrities say nothing fun. And then he talks about Facebook's for birthdays. I think they all have like their but I don't know

what the third one is because he's like he's like and that one's just like you want to see a murder video and you're like no and they're like well I already started playing it

but I forget what Happy's talking about that's probably Twitter that's where I see all my murder videos no I think that Twitter at that time

because when that came out Nate's stand up special was 10 years probably. Yeah, right. Maybe not quite, but it's old. So I don't think Twitter was the problem at that time. It's all the worst. It's so, so bad. But it's been eye-opening.

I'm like, it doesn't matter. I'm not really reading any of this. I'm not really registering any of this. So might as well do it here. Who cares? I still use Twitter, obviously. But I at least am sometimes using threads. I couldn't.

I can't engage anymore. So I just tweet and leave. Yeah. And then I'm like, well, what's the point? You know? What do you mean? What's the point of even tweeting? It's like I'm just going to tweet and then not engage with it or anything. It's like, well, what's the point? You know? What do you mean? What's the point of even tweeting? It's like I'm just going to tweet and then not engage with it or anything.

It's like, you know what I mean? Then just don't fucking use it at all. I disagree with that. Just get this out of your life. What? I disagree with that because you're still sharing whatever you're sharing. Well, you're sharing something. But if you're just tweeting about stuff but then refusing to engage, it's like.

I don't know. I've really liked my Twitter experience since I stopped mentions. I'm just like, this is what I think. I don't know. If you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't know. I've really liked my Twitter experience since I stopped mentions. I'm just like, this is what I think. I don't know. If you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't. Yeah, but my point being that it's like, then you don't really need that at all either.

Like, why do you even need to say shit? But that's this, right? Yeah, I guess so. We get paid for this. If I got money, more money, like the people who make money off of Twitter, if I could make real money off of Twitter like some of these people just because of how they've curated their – I would be tweeting like a motherfucker.

But I think that is ultimately what ruined Twitter, where like just the pay for tweets because it's just all the fake bait, engagement bait and stuff like that. I mean we're as guilty of it as anything. Someone came to me the other day and was like, fights, give me your hot take. You're dropping your Chevy. And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Dude, I said it the other day. I think we're reaching a point. I think it'll be because I think it'll be us. Because, you know, we always talk about, like, we're the first generation to live without the internet, but then, like, live without the internet but then like live through the internet and when you kind of like reach the end of the internet it's like what do you do yeah like the other day i it was uh it was it was brandon and titus and i saw it was just like brandon walker has like the hot take about thanksgiving and it was just like Brandon Walker has like the hot take about Thanksgiving. And it was just what time do you eat dinner?

You know, and it was like, we've done all the arguments. We've had all of the arguments. We've done all the side quests. We've won the main missions. I don't know what else to do. Should we start focusing on the cancer now? We've had enough fun about how we wipe our ass and stuff. Yeah, I think it's like you either it's

a video game that you either just go back to the beginning and start again yeah yeah with with like all the power-ups and shit like you have some of the knowledge and you have some of the followers and you just do it again or i don't know i think it's like uncharted waters but it's like what what does somebody do when they've like have you seen this video? Yes. Have you ever heard about this theory? Yep. You know about this conspiracy? Yep. I gotta show you this thing. Seen it. Done it. Did you know this little Easter egg?

Yep. I know all of the things. I've had all of the arguments. You know, the other day somebody was like oh, I heard a good question. It's an ATI question. It was just, done it all. And obviously, that's the guy who said all the things that need to be invented have been invented.

Obviously, there's more to talk about. But the surface level shit that we do on these apps and all that, it's like, I used to really like it. I really did. I enjoyed having those arguments and those like silly debates and then but then once you've done them all it's like i think i have to retire it's like the same thing we're talking about the jokes like the inside jokes it's like uh if all of my all my favorite like lines and jokes and material are are just dated i just have to retire i'm like a i'm like a hack comedian from the 80s

just running the same routine. But you can't adapt new... If you start using the new language and the new this and that, then you're lame and a tryhard. So you just have to go be an old person. I think we have to just get off the internet and be an old person somewhere

and be like, I don't know, I just sit outside and... Oh, we'll become the Umarells. This is finally the time to become Umarells. Just stare at construction sites. I've been working towards being a 65-year-old man for quite some time. Can we just become 35-year-old, 45-year-old, 65-year-old men? Just cut out that 20, 30-year period?

I've been getting off technology. I've been wearing more sweaters. I'm basically done. Are these bell bottoms? Oh, yeah. I saw been wearing more sweaters. I'm basically done. Are these bell bottoms? Oh, yeah. I saw it when he walked out. And I was like, those are flaring out at the bottom, aren't they? Those are motherfucking bell bottoms.

These are polyester bell bottoms, brother. Are you going somewhere today? No. After work? No. This is just your work fit. This is just my work outfit, yeah. It's your work outfit, not your work outfit.

That's your work outfit. So that's crazy. But to be clear, I've had these for a year. I've worn these a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just noticed it today with your boots were clopping and you had the sweater on. And I was like, this is a fit. And yeah, bell bottoms, man.

It's crazy. It's crazy. Just bell bottoms to work. I could, if I had a fucking one one hundredth of that confidence, man. Sometimes I'll put on a shirt and I'm like, is this shirt too blue or not enough i don't know should i go with this shade of navy or this shade of navy or this shade of blue

and you're like i'm gonna put on the i'll put on the bell bottoms i love these how many bell buttons you have just this pair and then the red the red get up yeah yeah the og not the og no this is a more uh that's like a night out on the town bell bottom. This is a little more subdued. This is your just like play bell bottoms. So you'll go home and you'll wear these bell bottoms until what time? No, I mean, until I go to the gym now. I'll probably. Okay. Let's say if you didn't go to the gym.

If I didn't go to the gym, I'd wear them until bed. And you would just take them off and just get in bed. I'd be right there. You would be at home sitting just like this. Exactly like this. Shoes on and everything. Watching TV. Yes. That is so disgusting.

That is the most disgusting. That is despicable. That is my least favorite thing about you. If somebody asked me, we know that you love John. What's one thing you hate about him? It's this. I hate it. I hate it so much it makes no sense it makes my skin crawl it makes me think that you might be a murderer like that's like the fact that you just you just go like this and then

and you go back home the same way exactly so sickening oh what is it's it's gross as in like germs? No, no, no, no, no, no. This is all like metaphorical. It's just I can't even fathom it. I mean sometimes on rare occasions if I get too high maybe I will. You'll get high like this? That's so tough.

That is crazy. That's crazy. I was going to say I'll stay in these jeans until like 10 tonight. You'll get high like this? That's so tough. That is crazy. That's crazy. I was going to say, I'll stay in these jeans until like 10 tonight, but like if I was getting high, like I have to be cozy. Cozy gang, man. See, that's the main difference between me and you. Like I am the card carrying member, the president of the cozy gang. I am a cozy boy for life.

Literally, get in the door. Like four people. We're done after radio today, I think, pretty much. I might get home at like 3 o'clock today. Pajamas. And I understand that's more erring on the side of you've given up on life. I get that. Putting on pajamas at 2 p.m., not the best.

But if you gave me the choice between this and wearing bell-bottoms till 11 p.m. Yo, you need to drop like a Drake track called Bell-Bottoms at 11 p.m. but if you gave me the choice between this and wearing bell bottoms till 11pm yo you need to drop like a Drake track called bell bottoms at 11pm that is so crazy to have your bell bottoms and boots on at fuck it you'll take your boots off right when you get in the door you'll take your boots off and then you're walking around barefoot in bell bottoms

that's another album right there barefoot in bell bottoms usually I'm just in sneakers so I'll leave the sneakers on. Yeah. Yeah, I would take the boots off. And then,

I would, I would probably keep them on. Yeah. Just, so you have just like a bell bottom, like you wouldn't even be able to see your feet.

I'd probably pop on a slipper. Pop on a slipper. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that the other day. John wore, wore my favorite Ugg slippers to work.

And I was like, that's allowed now? I got tons of these, man. I can wear these Ugg slippers to work. And I was like, that's allowed now? I got tons of these, man. I can wear these Ugg slippers to work? I can wear that in public? I've been wearing those privately for fucking five years. I've been allowed to do that since Brady got in the game. Not really.

I've never seen you do that. Oh, I've never done it. But I think Uggs have been cool for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. Don't get me wrong. Uggs for sure. Those are like slippers though. Like Uggs makes like the girl boots are like they're slippers, but they're boots and they make hybrids and shit.

Those ones, they have like a sole, but nobody would ever be like those are shoes. Those are fucking slippers that we're now just wearing in public. Oddly enough, I'm not going to do that. Because you'd wear them with like sweat pants you gotta wear them right but even but even that like let's say i find the right i don't think i have the right clothes to to do that but even if i had it i think i'm like no i'm not i'm not gonna do that it's like a freaky friday it's crazy i'm like i can't i i get that though you're like this is my work this is my home yeah because then because then I'm like, I wore those in Manhattan.

Yeah, right. I have a pair of slippers I won't wear. Your house shoes or whatever. But that whole, that's like the yin and yang of us, man. Dude, my kids are so funny. When my kids are hanging out with me, they'll be like, can I wear pajamas to the park? Yeah. There's no rules. No one's going to stop you. They'll be like, can I wear pajamas to the park? I'm like, yeah.

There's no rules. No one's going to stop you. I'm the only one who's going to stop you and look at me. Or sometimes we have a little bit of a big daddy thing going on where I'm like, go get dressed. And they come down. I'm like, really? I'm like, come on. I've got to go change your shirt. And they're like, no.

Why? I'm like, I don't have a good reason. You don't have a good reason you don't you don't have a boss you know i was like i if we were going to somewhere with your friends i would say your friends are gonna make fun of you but we're not doing that right now so yeah you can wear that like undersized spider-man shirt and uh those weird pants did you did you get dressed as a kid like Like, did your mom dress you? I mean, wait, we were talking about this the other day. On radio, we were kind of talking about it. Yes, yeah.

Like, it was more about, like, when I started to worry about brands and style and stuff. When I was in, like, sixth and seventh grade was when I first started noticing that, like, I was still wearing, like, Bugle Boy and my buddies were wearing, like, Army Fatigues. I was like, how do I get fucking those? those you know because my mom's not buying that shit um as far as like picking out my own outfits though i think i was probably putting on my own clothes but purchased by my mom through all of like elementary school fourth grade what grade fifth grade was probably when i i don't know i don't remember i don't... I don't know. I don't remember. I don't have a true memory of buying stuff at, like, a mall until, like, sixth or seventh grade. Like, me, like, picking shit out.

But I would imagine, you know, walking into a department store or something, my mom would be like, do you like this? Do you like that? Yeah. I don't know, whatever. I don't remember. I know pre-K, I had a shirt. I said this on the radio already, but pre-K, I had a shirt that I liked,

and I would, like, not throw fits, but, like, I'd want that clean so I could wear it a shirt. I said this on the radio already, but pre-K, I had a shirt that I liked. And I would, like, not throw fits, but, like, I'd want that clean so I could wear it a lot. I had, like, a once-a-week rule. Like, you can't repeat an outfit in a week, which is hilarious to think about. Like, that obviously is repeating a fucking shit ton. But at that elementary school level, because people would be like, didn't you wear that shirt, like, you know, it was like monday to monday i'm in yeah yeah oh then i'm good i'd be you know literally i would almost have like a monday outfit because it would be like this is my favorite outfit i can't wear it again until next week it's next

week i'm wearing it right away so i started making the underpants so you could just read the monday tuesday wednesday Friday. When did you start? When did you start dressing like an asshole? I remember my dad was a basketball coach, so all I wore for the first 12 years of my life was just baggy shirts, baggy camp shirts, stuff like that. And then I remember I forgot. That's a great aesthetic, though.

It's a great aesthetic. The basketball camp aesthetic is just like when you – because you still think it's cool because you're like, I'm just all about hoops, man, or whatever it is. I'm sure there's a variation of soccer and every sport has it where it's just like this is my life. I'm so good at it and I practice hard at it. Yeah, man. God, this is – I can't. You feel good about it while still looking like a scrub. Then eventually you're like I can't wear cutoff t-shirts everywhere I go.

Everything is like an XL. Yeah. It was just –'re like, I can't wear cut-off t-shirts everywhere I go. And everything's like an XL. Yeah. There was no such thing as large as in gym shirts. That was basketball too, it was obviously. Yeah, yeah. So the baggy, baggy was the culture.

I mean, I almost like remember, I'm old enough, I feel like, to remember when like, like cut-off t-shirts like almost became a thing where it was like,

I want to say it was one of the Carolina teams, like, you know, the way that the Fab Five had black socks or whatever there was like one team that was wearing cut off t-shirts under their jerseys and it was like oh whoa and then we all started doing that it's like i've been cutting off fucking uh sleeves and then people wearing them on their heads what are we we doing here? Ah, the good old days. Game Time is the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You shouldn't have to worry when you're buying tickets to your next big event. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets to all sports, music, comedy, and theater events near you. The Barstool Finer Things Club had its first meeting the other day.

Me, Trent, Keegs, and Caroline went and saw Shucked on Broadway. Got our tickets from game time. Shucked, excellent play. Pretty good play. Solid play. It gets a little heavy with the corn jokes. They're a little corny, but then you kind of give yourself into it, and you're like, all right, it's just corny.

Fine. I'm down. But it was a good time to see where Trent's from. That was cool. I'm down um but it's a good time to see where trend's from that was cool um i'm gonna use it this weekend i'm going to uh army navy so i am getting my game time all over the place so you can do it too use your game time like i'm doing for again army navy shocked everything i go to uh you get last minute deals flash deals zone deals it is easy to find and buy tickets for every kind of event in your area game time is the only ticketing app that gives you complete peace of mind with your purchase

see the view from your seat before you buy so you know exactly what to expect when you arrive all the all-in prices so you're total up front something other ticketing people don't do all you know exactly what you're going to spend as soon as you see it so you know you're getting a great deal without the hidden fees. Buy tickets in seconds with two taps. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, and use code KFC for $20 off your first purchase.

That is the GameTime app, create an account, and use $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code KFC for $20 off. Speaking of basketball, I was saying to you the other day from surviving Barca, you could tell that you played a ton of basketball. I wanted that. They just didn't put it in the edit.

But that, when we switched. Oh, from the first game. Yeah, that first game. I mean, every pass was like ball fake. I was jumping up and down in my room. Every single one was so crisp. I mean, I had like back hands going. I mean, I really put like 20 in a row on Rico's head.

He was literally spinning around. And then I did a great confessional. I was like, he was in the fucking blender. And they just like didn't use it. Which that's one of my only gripes is when you think something's good and they just didn't use it. Well, I need a reason why. Everybody thinks their shit's good. But yeah, I got a couple tweets of people being like, man, the post was open all day for you. I was like, good.

Everyone always thinks I lie. I'm like, I i just i'm a bag of bones now but i well there was a time when i wasn't uh yeah it was it was very funny watching that um so we'll talk more about the big survivor debacle but i feel like we got to mention it here as well bro only us and it makes sense why this would happen because because it's our biggest piece of content ever and why it's making waves you know but it's fucking so barstool that like

the one thing that we like all got together and did and like nailed it for better like for luck or or whatever reason we nailed it and now we will cut our exposure whatever whatever decision dave made we were going to cut our exposure by like 90 percent yeah literally like

we were getting to the point where those first three episodes started rolling to like 600 700 thousand and that was only with age restrictions right right right and that was only gonna snowball and by the way catch the season finale of adam 22 getting to decide who fucks his wife on youtube tonight that is such a great point dude i mean there was a million examples but people sent me a comedy central jim brewer uh stand up where the first 30 seconds is him talking about blowing up somebody's house it's just like but i i don't know i'm sure you know i i i think this is we've always been so behind on youtube i'm sure those guys, you know,

know the right people, do the right things, run it by somebody first, like, make them... I'm sure there are people at YouTube that want to feel like, you know, they have the power over you. If we said to them, yo, we're about to debut this, take a look, is there anything you don't like? And they probably would be like,

it's fine, you know what I mean? But you do it, you get the strike, and then you're fucked, and they lord over you with their, like, three-hour rule. I just feel like there is so much other shit on YouTube that's way worse that it means it's on us to figure out how to fucking do it. Right. You know what I mean? We can, it's not fair. Yes, that's true. But how come we're not like Adam?

How come we're not like all these other things that can do it? You know? They can for some reason. I don't know. Do you have to fucking, is it shady shit? like grease palms and we gotta grease palms you have to have relationships you have to have the right i don't know but we it's just like we did the biggest thing ever and did not think about like how to put it out it's at the end of the day you know it's censorship freedom of speech it's a monopoly it's fucked all that there's truth to some of that it's to some degree and all that but also it's like i don't know we're the assholes who found ourselves in the spot i would agree with

that fuck yeah i would agree with that i think i think it's i think it's like the and again it feels like i'm gonna say all this again um radio. And if you listen to radio, you're still seeing this again. But if you don't want to pay, you don't want to pay. Oh, yeah. That battle is. I strongly disagree. I'm very happy. For as long as I can remember, I'm sure if you dig up a tweet or something, there's something different.

But we've sat on the show for years and years and said, well, I want to watch something. I just buy it. I'm not looking for the stream. If you don't have two nickels rubbed together, then it's a very unfortunate situation. And I'm sorry for that. But, like, I don't know. My entire life, like, when I was in college, you know, I just, if I wanted that T-shirt, I bought the T-shirt. I enjoy paying for things because someone fucking made it.

Yeah, but there's just not a lot of people think that way. The entire world is like me, me, me. But the entire world also loves to complain about the quality of things. Yeah, but that's also the world. It's like I'm going to complain and not do what I need to do to fix it. I actually saw something. Again, I've been guilty of this before. Complaining about air travel and things like that and how it used to be.

They wore suits and they had full meals on the plane and things like that. And someone I follow was just like, it still is, just so you know, if you're willing to pay what they paid to fly back then. That's a good point. It was like $1,000 to fly back there. Yeah, you're right. Okay, good point. If you want to go to Fort Lauderdale for $69 round trip, you're not going to get all that shit. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, flights used to be really expensive.

And now if you pay that inflated price for whatever the time is, you got a fucking bed and you got booze and everything. A servant. You probably smoke a cigarette if you want. There definitely is something to, you know, if you don't like, if you don't create something, sounds corny, but it's like, I will pay because somebody created something and I know that something went into that. Yeah. You're not in that world if you're just like, you know, you don't have that sort of job or a creative hobby or whatever. You don't think, you know, you're just like that world if you're just like you know you don't have that sort of job or a creative hobby or whatever you don't think you know you're just like consuming

but it's just with anything consume consume like i i it's it's just a personal preference but i enjoy i subscribe i subscribe to the new york times and the boston globe and the athletic because like i just hate when i click on a link and it doesn't open for me so like i'd rather pay for access to that everybody kind of has their their levels to it yeah i'll pay for this i'll pay for this i'll pay for this i'm not gonna pay for that you'll stuff. And everybody kind of has their levels to it. Yeah. I'll pay for this. I'll pay for this. I'll pay for this. I'm not going to pay for that. You'll keep going.

Other people won't even. But that's where I put out a poll. Sorry to interrupt real quick. When you get to a paywall, particularly on something you follow, like I follow the United States. I follow the globe. I follow the athletic. And it's not that often I want to read something.

But when I do and I was getting the paywall it was like the buzzer to dennis and sunny it was like ah yeah that's a that's a and like that would just that would be not like i probably i probably read between those three publications and i probably subscribed a few more i probably read 15 20 articles a year but i don't have to have that wall. That wall fucking infuriates me. But that's, I think, when I put up a poll that said, like, I like it. I think it's a good enough product. Or I understand what's going on with the censorship, so we'll pay. I don't have the money to pay for this.

Or this is out of principle. There was nobody that was like, this is too expensive. I saw that. It was just, I don't pay for internet content. And I just can't stress enough how much you're going to have to give that up. It's like you – we, again, like I was just saying earlier. Not just for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The internet. That's what I'm saying. Like I was just saying to start the show about like reaching the end of the internet. We – a lot of those people I'm sure in that poll voting that way are my age my generation and we have pretty much just had the whole internet for free yeah but you paid for cable

and paid for tv and shit that was like you just understood that like this is paid this is not yeah and the world has just flipped right so sorry like i don't know what this is not a barstool thing we will probably be leading the charge in a way. Not like supporting the charges. We are out in front. So we are going to be the ones making a really good reality TV show internet product that runs into a censorship problem. So we are going to be the ones that first have to deal. And our fans are going to be the ones that first have to deal, and our fans are going to be the ones that first have to deal with paying and not paying.

But that's what surprised me is I don't – I was surprised at how many people were upset about it because I don't think – maybe our fans don't consume other people's content because everyone charges, like Patreons and Two Bears. And, like, I didn't – I disagreed with that. Like, I didn't think we're on the forefront. I think we're behind on pay content. Yeah, yeah. I guess you're right in that sense.

Yeah, we actually don't. We're the only people who don't have Patreon. Yeah. Celebrities have OnlyFans, and there's Patreons for podcasts. That's a good point. That's a really good point. I thought it was going to be... People pay $10 a month to listen to an hour podcast.

This was one week's worth of work for all the on-screen people, whatever you fucking call us, and then months and months of work for tons of editors and production and the people who planned it. It's a big production. It's $10. Again, if you don't have the money, I understand and I empathize with that. But if you have the money, $10 is not overpriced.

I can't get – that's what I'll just never understand. There's just a psychological thing in people with certain – if you show me like – we just did like a rapid fire like, would you pay for this? Would you pay for this? Would you pay for this? My answers – or would you pay this much money for this thing? My answers would just drastically vary from people in that crowd and I just will not. I don't think I am overly loose with my money.

You know what I mean? To me, it's like, how can you not pay? And if you don't want to see it, that's a different thing, too. There are plenty of movies I don't want to see. I just don't buy. But if I want to see it, I might. If you are truly struggling, if you are literally check to check, it's like, I need that $10. I get it. I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry. That sucks. But if it's like you don't have nine individual dollars to pay for something that you clearly want enough to argue about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, if you don't like it and it's not worth whatever, it's not worth money or my extra clicks there's a ton of things i'm like i gotta go to another website never mind yeah i get all of those arguments for sure but you like it's like you can get a cup of coffee that's like a ten dollars you know something that lasts you like 20 seconds that you'll pay kind of like the uber thing where it's like in the first

few months or like years of uber like you don't have to pay and then like or you don't have to tip and so like now like you don't tip on uber because they're just like well i didn't have to you know it's like yeah that's what i mean it's all a psychological thing it's not it's just like i don't think i should have to do this. And it's like, oh, okay. And I understand, but I don't understand. The argument of like, I can get all of Netflix for $9. It's like, yeah, but you also just rented a movie, a singular movie, for $4.99.

Or for $20. Yeah, right, right. I rented a movie for $20 the other day, and I watched five minutes of it. I am interested in watching it again, though. David Duchovny, Meg Ryan. You know what was a great movie that I just rented for $19.99? The Holdovers.

Oh, I saw that in theaters twice. So good. Twice? I saw it in theaters. How about that kid? You know the story? Yeah. He's awesome.

If you haven't seen The Holdovers, it's awesome, too, because I was just saying this because I was trying to find Christmas movies for my kids that aren't like the typical they're all my kids are starting to watch some of like the good shit yeah past and uh and so i was like you know they've seen elf they've seen home alone they've seen santa claus and i was trying to find and as i was going through it i'm like there is there is nothing new like really new you know like there there's no good Christmas movies. And obviously this movie is – this falls in one of those it's a movie that happens at Christmas time sort of thing. Yeah, yeah.

But it needs Christmas for the gravitas and the family. So it's not like a Christmas movie, but it is. So you can add it to the list of like a new – it's more of an adult one, but new holiday classic in my mind. I saw it in theaters myself here in new york did i see it with nate i must see it with nate and then i was home for thanksgiving i would see my dad because my dad was a prep school holdover uh wow i was about to ask you if you ever but you you were i i would know i wasn't all over he he was when he was in boarding school in like the 80s i think i think he's in boarding school 82 so his parents hated him uh it was a little bit of that i think yeah and then a

little bit of he got in trouble yeah but he was telling me a story how many people was he with uh i want to say maybe five others and uh he went to avon old farms which is a boarding school in connecticut and uh i forget the guy's name the the headmaster's name, but he was like the hockey coach too and he had a bunch of rabbits and one of the punishments while we were home the whole day to clean out the rabbit cage and the guy

the headmaster came down to yell at them while they were cleaning out the rabbits, not cage like fucking hen house type deal and the headmaster at one point just goes, if you guys keep fucking around while you're at school and he just grabbed a rabbit

and snapped its neck and goes, that's you! And threw the carcass and in turn walked away. And my dad said the guy who's cleaning the cage with just fucking fainted. My dad said the guy who was cleaning the cage with just fucking paint. He's like, so he's going to have to clean the rest of the cage myself and drag him through the snow back to the dorm. The shit that went on with, like, men back in that era

where they were just completely unchecked power rage and no one would stop them what just snap a rabbit's neck and fucking toss it because he was you know having a bad day or whatever he's like yeah that's it like there was he's like we he's like i i don't he actually didn't tell me what he was held over for but he was like i didn't do anything to him. He was just a headmaster of the school. Just pissed off. Just snapped his neck through the snow and turned and stormed off.

That is next level shit right there. That movie, so if you don't know the story, Paul Giamatti is the headmaster. It's all about the kids. No, he's a teacher. Right, teacher. It's all about the kids who either don't have family or their family doesn't want them or they're problem children and rather than going home for Christmas they have to stay at their boarding school

for the holiday week or whatever. And the main kid in it was just a student at one of the academies. They had some sort of... Because they were using the academy to film, I guess they had not a rule, but just they said

any kid who goes to these schools can come and audition to be an extra or in the background or whatever. And this kid, I think it was Deerfield, I'm not sure. It was filmed at multiple academies. But this kid who is a he is a uh film student so it's not like he's just like some schmo he is trying to become a professional actor but never did anything this is i don't think i knew this was his first i don't think i knew he was a student yeah he uh i want to say um carnegie mellon he's like a freshman at carnegie mellon or

some shit like that whatever it was um so his first movie ever is sharing, you know, 80, 90% of this movie of the screen with Paul Giamatti. He's going to be an Oscar nominee. He might catch one. Has anyone ever nominated? The movie's going to get nominated. I don't know. Giamatti is going to get nominated.

I haven't heard much about him. About Giamatti? No, no, no, about the kid. Yeah. But I wonder if that's happened, like your first ever movie Oscar nomination. That would be so fucking gangster. I mean, he's crying on screen. It was such a good performance.

Somebody tweeted that at me, like, can you believe that that kid is? And I was like, that's not true. That's a fucking fake tweet. That guy got mixed up, and I went and searched it. I was like, that's not true. That's a fucking fake tweet. That guy got mixed up, and I went and searched it. I was like, holy fucking shit. How do you think they did the glass eye? Giamatti wouldn't tell the truth. He wouldn't tell how they did it.

Do you think that he put something on your eyeball or something? I would guess so. I don't think I really noticed that he had it. I thought Giamatti just had crazy eyes. No, no, no. Well, I guess that I went and searched it right away to see if Paul Giamatti had a lazy eye. I thought he just did. If you come, I mean, if you look now, it's fucking gruesome.

That guy is disgusting. He smells like fish, has a lazy eye. No, he has some bug-out eyes, but he doesn't have this. This was like... Steak season. Omaha Steaks. The holidays are here. Let Omaha Steaks take the guesswork out of gifting.

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plus you can code KFC at checkout. Get an extra 30% off your order. A minimum order may be required. Again, simply go to omahasteaks.com. Achieve gifting greatness today. Yo, here's my proposition. I love the movie, but I thought it was going to be the whole gang

i want the holdovers too with like five or six kids oh yeah i thought it was gonna be like the boys causing ruckus causing mischief and giamatti like trying to wrangle you know and they all have this like moment at the end it was very cool the way it became just like those two and and the woman uh who lost her kid but i want another edition where you know all those other characters in the like the first five minutes where they're fucking with each other stealing the weed yeah all that shit like that i was like this is gonna be for the boys this is awesome but giamatti that you get i'm like i'm glad like you got jacked up about that because obviously I lived in the area of that.

Yeah. Bro, dorms? Awesome. Dorms are cool in college. Dorms when you're like 15 and 14 are the greatest time of your life. It's one gigantic sleepover constantly. It's so awesome. So sick.

So wait. So yeah. To me, I get it. Dude, we had one kid who would just lay in his bed and he would just throw throwing stars out his window and you might get hit and you just had to like be aware of that as you walk through the door it's like one two three better duck you know you're walking in my throwing stars room. Bro, like, it was in. Maybe we'll bleep that. I don't know. But you may bleep.

He's like, bleep it. Bleep that called bleep. Bleep that I said the bleep. I'm calling him bleep. Just have a long bleep through all that. He's a maniac. But he would just lay it in there. And guess what?

They were, like, real. And they leave marks, Kevin. So, like, you just knew walking by. And they leave marks, Kevin. You just knew walking by. As the year wore on, it was just like a hole being dug into the wall. So I feel like at Christmas time, I understand that that kind of sucks. The kids are genuinely sad that their parents don't love them and are not coming. There's a it's very there's a couple heartbreaking scenes of these kids who are like what i don't i'm not gonna spend christmas my family but once i got over that and i was with the fellas for like a

week and we were at school but not at school and we were just like causing ruckus like awesome which i guess is the regular part of like the regular regular – the rest of the year. So you guys – you would just – give me some more stories. Like was it – is that – is it for the most part where people just like regular or was it always like – It was – in my experience, it was – and obviously like people would have different experiences. But like in mine, it was always chaos and always fun. Right. To me, what ages were you? Was it again?

Sophomore year to senior year. 15 to 18? No, because I was young. I graduated at 17, so probably 13 to 17. Dude, those are prime years. When you have a sleepover at your friend's house, the parents are like, shut up down there. What are you doing?

What are you watching porn? What other crazy shit are you doing? I got a sleepover. It's just like you have unlimited time to do all that shit. You have so much time to get into hijinks. Yes. So school ends at like regular time? School would be – school is like kind of like college.

Not that much like we're in class for all times, but, like, you had free periods and you had snack periods. It's crazy to be at a school where you sleep and you have snack breaks. Yeah, that's nuts. Those two things should never cross over. Should be far space between. If you're a human that needs to be told to have a snack, you also shouldn't be able to sleep at this. There were 1030.

1030 was always you go over and talk. Yeah, let me just really explain. Love all this except for probably like the rampant sexual abuse that happens. I'm sure that's a big thing. Not everyone. Cut that out. So when school would end,

it was still pretty regimented though, right? Like obviously headmasters and shit don't fuck around. Or was it like you're free to like you know you're pretty free so like your school you practice but like school ends at three you have practice ends at five whatever you want to say you guys eat together dinner yeah and then like if you want to watch some tv you want to fuck around you want to run there were only tvs in the in the like main room in the main room yeah you couldn't have tv but like by the time you're on the internet, you weren't watching YouTube quite yet.

But if you wanted to just be like, we're going to fuck around in John's dorm room and throw So I was a day soon. So I had a dorm too. Right, right, right. But yeah, you fuck around. Actually, my dorm, Bates, was a big video game dorm where everyone would come and play video games um but like i spend most of the time in in my buddy's dorm where like again we just caused hijinks like

dude my favorite thing every year was finding the like place in the wall like you you have a mirror in your room but he would figure out how to get it off the wall because he'd be glued to the wall so he'd like get like a hot gun and melt the glue right take that off and then we'd get a saw he'd use like a swiss army knife saw and he would just saw a hole in the wall right and we just store booze in there yeah and then come in and melt the mirror down get the booze out but then everyone also awesome everyone would have a fucking uh a fucking container of peanut butter. Everyone on their dorm, right by their laptop, was a thing of peanut butter and a change jar. And I have no idea the science of this, but we had heard – because you could get spit-tested at school if they thought you were drunk.

So – You could lick peanut butter. We'd heard that if you eat peanut butter first, it covers it up in a spit test. Or if you have a penny under your tongue. So everyone was ready to go. I remember reading a Zee's Unsorry tweet where it was like, New York is LA except everyone's drunk all the time. And I kind of felt like that about school like obviously not all the time but like i definitely think that you'll get more functioning alcoholics out of out of

aborting so then anything else like just being like 15 with a fucking whiskey and a coffee cup yeah no i read the iliot give me the fucking quiz catcher in the rye yeah let's talk about it Yeah, I know. I read the Iliad. Give me the fucking quiz. No, catch her in the rye. Yeah, let's talk about it. That's fucking unreal, man. Yeah, I'm sure all the teachers were fucking functioning alcoholics, too.

Just one giant cycle. Yeah, like, that sounds so awesome. There was one time we were cutting holes in it, and we had our buddy. Cutting holes in the wall? Yeah. And our buddy Joey, we were, like, putting the whiskey. Some Shawshank shit. holes in it and we had our holes in the wall yeah yeah and our buddy joey we were like putting the and and before every single time my buddy chris put a uh a bottle in there he'd throw it to our buddy joey first and he'd catch it and he was gonna get it back to me and he put it in there and he had like four things and go all right get back joey was a pretty uh uh what do you call

gullible guy. And then when he finally put the mirror back on, he's like, why did you just give all this to me first? And he's like, when they fingerprint this shit, it's going to be yours. And he freaked out for weeks. He's like, you got to get that out of the wall. You got to get that out of the wall. That was the same kid.

We made a bet with him where his dad came back from Vegas and bought him just the most atrocious shirt you'll ever see in your life. Oh, yeah. It was red and it had a dragon on it and a yellow collar. But at school, you could wear whatever you wanted. You had to be in dress code, which is a jacket and a tie and pants and shoes and all that stuff. But your fashion was your own and we're like you won't wear that every day for a month and he's like i bet i will like i don't even think there was a price that we'd given him and he wore it every day and like every day we

would spill something disgusting on him like like we just like squirt ketchup or mustard or like fling yogurt at him and every single day he showed up the next day with that fucking shirt still on. It was grotesque. I mean, awesome. That is what boyhood, childhood is all about. I don't know what boarding school for girls is like. I'm sure it's probably some— A lot of dip in between their toes.

Yeah, I'm sure those hoes, those little fucking sluts. I said dip. dip yeah i know i think you just thought i was giving foot jobs i'm sure they're just like you know fucking maladjusted freaks too on the female side but on the guy side it just sounds so much fun. Dude, the best day – this will be the last one. But the best day arguably of my life was when – Bro, so here's the thing. We're like – when college applications have gone out and things like that, when you start getting your letters back, if you got in, you put it on your door facing upright, the acceptance letter. If you got waitlisted

horizontally wait for this is for college yeah so when you apply to your college when your college is back if you got waitlisted you put it horizontally if you didn't get in you put it upside down my buddy this is this is 2009 and my buddy was like just to show to the other people yeah why would like if you didn't get in you just you just want to like clown yourself basically yeah yeah some people were you know not everyone's putting the ball there yeah yeah yeah um but my buddy like he was a big photoshop guy like before that was the thing and just made a harvard acceptance letter and he's not a smart guy right and just put a harvard acceptance letter on his door oh it kind of came up in the movie when he's not a smart guy. Right. And just put a Harvard acceptance letter

on his door. It kind of came up in the movie when he's like, I'm not going to get into Cornell because there are a lot of kids like that where they're like, I'm going to an Ivy League school. And when I tell you,

Chaos, that this erupted into chaos. Bro. What a fool. How the fuck did McCarthy get into Harvard? People storming their guidance counselor's office It's like What a movie

It was Dude, like, this entire campus Was abuzz with like How the fuck did McCarthy get into Harvard? It was Did he ever end up telling him? Yeah, he told him when he went to Wentworth Dude

It was I mean, it was the funniest fucking thing People like People mad at him Like He's like knocking on his door What the fuck I don't know

He's I'm surprised everybody david shot hail mary i don't know what can i say honestly that's harvard material that move right there that i mean yeah that to me is i can't think of a better thing. I mean, it's just hanging with the felt. But was the... One time we got a kid's laptop. I had the same laptop and my laptop broke. And so we just took his laptop

and put it in a safe place. And then just took mine and put a screwdriver right to the screen and left that on his desk. And just so he came home, I just thought we stabbed his laptop with a thing. And he destroyed the room in it. And we said to come back. Yo, my bad, dude.

He just tore his room apart. Flipped his bed, flipped his roommate's bed through. He's like, the fuck is wrong with you psychopaths? And we were just so taken aback. Oh, shit. Imagine just walking home with that to your home today and there's just a screwdriver

in your TV. What the fuck? I love that. I can't get enough of that. That to me... I don't think I can... I don't think I can send Keegan to a boarding school. I don't know how that works anymore.

I don't think I could. But man, that sounds awesome. It sounds so much fun. I feel like girls don't do that stuff. Right, Jackie? Yeah. But they just make fun of each... We just make fun of each other

until we have an eating disorder. I mean, yeah. High school is probably more... I don't know. High school is probably more... I don't know. Oh, man, that's so great. The fucking screwdriver. It's like the idle hand sort of thing. You give a bunch of 14-year-olds

a night together and they're just going to come up with some shit. Why don't we stab this fucking thing with a screwdriver and pretend that... We're like, he'll walk in and just be like, what the hell? No, he was not. He was not like that. He had a broken rabbit's neck

and was around. So I need the holdovers too, with the gang back. I also need the holdovers prequel. They just, you know, gloss over the backstory of Giamatti in one scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where it's like, whoa, I need to fucking hear about that one. So the Holdovers, I mean, when did you see it? I saw it the weekend it came out. What do you mean, when did it come out? Probably the weekend before Thanksgiving. Oh, wow. Because it's on Apple TV now, so I wasn't sure if it was a – I didn't even realize it was a theater movie until I saw Clemmer.

No, it was longer than that. It might have been two or three weeks before Thanksgiving. I saw Clemmer's review of it outside the theater. I was like, oh, I thought this was just an Apple TV thing. Clemmer's review was great. We need more reviews like that. Did you watch it? Yeah.

He was like, this is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. like it's just great yeah yeah it's just great i'm so sick of every movie reviewer being like it's an it's it's an it's an invasive journey wrapped up in a comical blah blah that affects the the human mind as much as it does the heart it's like this weird cadence it's like what do you like about it i don't know it was awesome it was great he said he's like the acting's good and the the story's good i don't know i just really like it. I'm watching that tonight, man. Big Holdover fan. Big boarding school.

If you have boarding school stories, because there's also something about, like, everyone has college stories. Yeah. Because by that point, like, that's what you're supposed to be doing. And, you know, yeah, they're all good. But, like, when you're doing it as, like, a 14-year-old, there's something better about that there's something funnier about the fact that it's like we are like uh weirdo like puberty monsters just like hormones raging through our bodies for the first time and they cram everybody into a uh in the same place and just like i don't know you know and that's and that's where you're supposed to reform yeah that's not most of them aren't for reform.

Most of them are... That's the imagery of it almost. It's like we're sending you away to boarding school. It's like, fucking do it. You know? Go ahead. I can only speak for myself. I was excited to go.

I was like, hell yeah. I would say the most unique thing I ever did there, we had a snowball fight once where no one could leave their rooms. It was amazing. You just had a snowball fight inside? Yeah one could leave their rooms. It was amazing. You just had a snowball fight inside? Yeah. It was like between dorms. We brought snow in and you just throw it. It was like being in an actual shootout where you get dunked

and pop it up and you're waiting for someone to pop up. And then it was just soaking wet everywhere. Yeah. Who cares? It's not our place. And there's no... You can never do that again. Anywhere else in your life, you have to clean. Absolutely. You have to clean. You put towels down the again. Anywhere else in your life, you have to clean. Absolutely. You put towels down the floor. I'm sure whoever the help at that school was fucking hated you.

No, because we were in our own rooms just throwing into other rooms. So you had to clean up yourself. We did knock our buddy's fucking jug of piss over on his computer. Well, you know, his jug of piss. I mean, everybody's got to know that when you do the indoor snowball fight, you put your jug of piss under the bed. That's the first rule of indoor snowball fights. Get rid of your jug of piss.

What? He just didn't want to go to the bathroom? Just like you... You ever piss into a cup when you're in the dorm? Like, I don't know if I walk out of the bathroom. I get it. I didn't do it, but I fully understand it. And then a snowball hit it.

You get like a big gulp full of piss. Bro, if you have to do that for whatever reason, did somebody know? It was right away. That was my piss! That was my piss, dude! They were like, stop! Stop! Piss break!

Not the usual kind. Two rules, man. No head hunting, no jugs of piss. So did you have like a guy who like, like a leader, if you will, that would be like, we're doing a snowball fight inside. Oh, yeah. There was like one guy. Do you know who it was?

Yeah. Like there was a dude who like always was kind of the leader of the hijinks. My buddy Chris. Yeah. He was like the hijinks guy. He was just always the guy to be like, here's what we're doing. And for whatever reason, it strikes him. He just would be like, here's what's going on.

Yeah. A very dangerous mind. You need those people, man. You need those people, man. You need those people. So if you have boarding school stories, please send them in. Please. Anything on the level of jugs of piss, throwing stars, snowball fights indoors, all of it. It's awesome.

Go watch The Holdovers if you haven't seen it yet. Very good. Have you heard? Have you heard that bird's the word? Have you also heard that the West Coast legend himself, Snoop Diggity Dog, has announced that he is done with smoke? It's over. He's eliminating it.

How could it be? That's what you're wondering right now. How could it be? Snoop Diggity Dog? How could it be? How could it be that the Dogg father, who once famously urged us to smoke every day, could now be giving it up?

Well, we have learned, as it turns out, that he is going smokeless, joining forces with the makers of the world's most popular smokeless fire pits, Solo Stove, and has been coined their official smokes person it wouldn't be snoop if he didn't drop it like it's hot which is exactly what he's doing with the snoop stove a limited edition bonfire pit uh bonfire fire pit is designed by snoop himself each custom fire pit comes with a going smokeless bucket hat and limited run of stickers can someone you in the studio, can you get me one of those before they sell out?

A Snoop Solo pit? That'd be great. Just pop your credit card out and get me a Snoop Solo pit right now. So run, don't walk to solostove.com, pick up the limited edition pit, and join Snoop in going smokeless for good. I had a phone call yesterday that was – I texted about it. You texted me about it?

I texted the group about it. It was Saturday, I think. Whatever. So the other day I had to – I told the story on stage before where oh excuse me my grandfather's very sick oh yes yes yes and um dude what did i my parents have been like you gotta you gotta call him i'm gonna talk to him like he's not doing well and i'd been very nervous about that because i think that i i think we have a very normal adult and grandparent relationship which is that like i i i know some people were raised

by their parent grandparents i was raised by my parents my grandparents were around but you know i have that kind of relationship we're like yeah people around see you i'll see you when i see you well yeah exactly and so it's going to be weird. Like when he sees me calling, he's going to be like, well, I'm really dying. Which is one of the most astute observations you've ever made. That's really very smart to have the foresight to be like, my phone call wields a lot of power over this old and dying man right now. I'm in worse shape than I thought.

He's going to feel his, just the mere pop-up of my number or name is going to make this man feel his mortality. I remember when I saw Coley and his wife at a Pats game once, and I was talking to Coley, his wife was talking to my dad, and Coley kind of like nudged me and he's like me too and this is you know he's obviously already had this child and he was kind of whispering to me that he has a second baby they're having a second baby and i didn't tell her congratulations so i was like i don't know if i'm supposed to like no i don't want to

ruin the surprise and i was like later much later it struck me that she probably knew she was pregnant and i wasn't going to ruin that surprise it was just pregnancy is such a weird thing man where i was like i just want to be hands off you thought you were gonna break mariah's pregnancy to her like logic it wasn't like i like thought it out but in the moment i was like again these people are so weird about pregnancy i'm like i'm sorry i get that i get that i i i i i think ordinarily it's almost like i don't know if i'm supposed to know like my buddy wanted to tell me and get it off my chest it was probably part of that right part like part i think i'm gonna tell a pregnant woman she's pregnant i'm what maybe like maybe like i didn't know if she like i don't want to

congratulations but she didn't know he knew he told me so like what does he think about how i look okay okay okay i'm sure there are a million factors but later i was like i bet she knows and i kind of had that same thing with my grandfather we're like he knows he's dying he's he's aware and so i called him and uh we're just shooting the shit and uh he was like he's like so how you doing and i've been sick and i was like you know i'm a little under the weather right now and and he was like oh i'm sorry like i don't want to keep you and not he wasn't doing like an asshole he's doing like a nice guy and he's i was like i was like nope nope papa joe i'm okay i'm i'm good never mind this dude told a dying man i'm feeling so good it was just like a natural reaction like how are you doing like a little under the weather but i'll be all right and i was like ah yeah i probably should have kept that one in. But then I was like, so how are you?

Well, I'm dying, John. He goes, it's like the coolest line I've ever heard. I called like a million people and told them. He just goes, you know, I'm on a dead end street, but I'm going the right way. I was like, oh, damn, that's bars, dude. Gangsta. That's bars. But then I thought about it more, and i think kind of part of that is the fact

that when you're dying whatever you say is cool yeah like if i was like papa joe how you doing he's like got two flapjacks on the stove but they're not for me yeah that is so true Like, whoo! Get him, dude! That is so true, man. I'm on a dead end street, but I'm heading the right way is like a rock ballad type of fucking, like, Guns N' Roses or, like, Bon Jovi at his peak. But I'm heading the right way. I got two flapjacks on the stove

but they ain't for me also playing it actually it is kind of cool in talking to him he's a very pious man he's very religious my grandfather

and like that is kind of sick where he's like like he's cool he's like like there's no like he's like dude it was taken care of

when I was baptized I know I know they're so at peace they're so at peace it's so awesome like, he's like, dude, it was taken care of when I was baptized. I know, I know. They're so at peace. They're so at peace. It's so awesome. Like, that's where I do get, I do understand that, like, maybe as you get older and life gets fucked up, you're just like, I'd rather just have something to hold on to or blame this on something else or whatever, you know,

as you go through more and more shit, that it's like, it would be nice to get... I'm going the other direction almost. I'm getting less and less, but it would be nice to get more and more by the time you're dead. At this point, I feel like they'd be like, I know he's faking it. We've got a whole body of Warwick saying otherwise. He's doing this for that last week coming up.

Dude, you should keep that flapjacks in the holster until you're like 80. Dinner time's at 6, but i'm not gonna make it whatever you want whatever you want it's all guess what i was pretty sick anything anything about you know not making it or whatever that will play that is yeah i think jackie wrote back that's some rock and roll yeah it really is that's it okay send us your your your uh boarding school stories and send us your i'm about to die bars yeah yeah tweet at us stories on instagram i think uh i think those

are relatively easy to come up with, and they'll be very fun. Who do we have on the show today? Sebastian? Yeah. Sebastian Maniscalco. Boy, that guy is still... I would not have pegged him to be a pessimistic dude like we are.

Yeah. I thought he was going to kind of be the opposite. Like he's a very – we know he's like a very old world Italian, like you work hard and then you die sort of thing. But I could have seen him being like, you know, I'm blessed with all this. Maybe it's because he's Italian and they're all gaudy and all flashy and I can't stand them except for Vinny and Sebastian, the only two Italians I can tell.

But, man, it was so good to hear someone be just as negative as we are and still be so successful. His stories about auditioning and shit were great. That was also pretty, if I remember correctly, that was almost foreboding where he was like, why do you think things are going to go good at that time? Surviving Barstool is fucking killing it. So true, man.

Don't worry. It's going to suck. Things are going to start to suck. Something will fucking fall apart. Selfishly, I'm like, these episodes that are now going to get a fraction of the views are like the ones I'm in. Of course.

Of course it's that way. I remember thinking like well don't worry at least you get a fraction of the money since we planned this yep it's all actually that's a question i have for you one big heist the do things like this when we get something like this happens i almost said we almost get caught um we get caught up in something like this does that make you think at conspiracies differently because people think that like are you like yeah yeah we're like yeah no we're just idiots man and like i feel like everyone's just an idiot what did i say the other day something happened the other day and i said to you guys man if we could fabricate things like that we would have oh the day the dave video dave was like went the jackie video with dave yeah yeah and

dave was like i want to see what that video yeah yeah and i was like maybe we can start to like do that on purpose like if we hyped up a video like that and then i was like oh no you cannot see it you know yeah and then just whip everyone into a frenzy so i almost started to prove the conspiracy because i was like wait a minute that really really worked eh fuck it but there are people out there who are like let's fucking do that so yes and no yes I think I've learned

through Barstool that often life is stranger it truly shocks me that people are like they did this on purpose that's genuinely surprising I also see the other side of, like, the timing. You know, it's like, if you were to do it, it would be this exact way. Yeah, I guess.

It would be this exact way to say, to put it out a little bit, get people hooked. But that's almost like... Put something that you know YouTube's going to strike you on, so you can play this game and there's actually like gonna be some proof behind it because you could just make it up like youtube gives a strike and i don't know maybe you somebody could come out and be like no we didn't you know but there you know say some shit that we know youtube will censor us on and then pull the plug but we don't even no one knows that clearly this is my point but i i i think we have proven time and time again we don't know what the fuck we're doing.

To the point that we don't do the regular things, let alone the advanced things. We're not on the right platforms. We're never using things the right way. We are never optimizing anything. But now all of a sudden we're going to be the ones who are ten steps ahead and stealing is like crazy. It's just like if you fuck around on the internet with enough people and enough drama and like all these things just fucking happen. And it also, it's one of those things where like I described earlier, like it makes sense that it would be us

because we are big enough that we would get noticed. We're stupid enough that we don't know how to do it we're loud mouth enough that we are saying some fucked up shit you know all of that is like why we would be the people to get dinged and have it be a whole fucking production and a whole uh you know a whole uh saga but i thought the most disappointing part was there was a time that I would've like, there was a time where I would've been like, fuck yes,

the Steelers are gonna take care of this. We don't even have to worry, like, they're all gonna subscribe whatever price, whatever, the money doesn't even matter, like, we're gonna get, all of our fans are gonna be like, fuck YouTube, where do we go, what do we money doesn't even matter. Like, we're going to get – all of our fans are going to be like, fuck YouTube. Where do we go? What do we pay?

And I got enough people. I said to Dave, I said, put like a GoFundMe out or something like that, like something that's separate and let people pay more because I bet there are stoolies out there that are going to be like, I'll pay $20 for it just because fuck the cheapskates and also I think you guys deserve it, whatever your your reasoning is i know there are plenty of people i got many dms being like i'll pay extra who gives a fuck but the majority of people being like you know you guys plan this or fuck this or fuck you i was like oh literally i just can't count on the fan base like I once thought it was. I think those fans, they're more – I think the exact number that per capita, I think that's the same.

I think there will be massive numbers that buy it. I was going to say the opposite. Those fans still exist, but there's just so many more. I think there's a lot more diehards too. Because, again, we're thinking back to when we needed T-shirts to keep us afloat. fans still exist but there's just so many more i think there's a lot more diehards too like because again we're thinking back to like when we needed t-shirts to keep us afloat and five thousand bottom and that's great and then like now it's gonna be a hundred thousand who buy this like yeah i think it's grown i it this is this will probably ultimately end up i would guess exactly

where i guessed which like like it's like probably i I would be like I knew there were people who were angry. I think it's going to be a big number that buys it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I had this epiphany over the weekend thinking about this and just other things with this show because it all goes into everything I've been saying this episode about how long we've been doing it and and you know some of the things that go along with that the fact that we have our show and our audience the way we do things for almost like pushing upwards of 15 years now is pretty fucking crazy yeah like that the fact that there is a still a large number of really diehards and you know we've seen other shows that have these meteoric rises

and go on to sell out Madison Square Garden, and that's amazing. We've seen shows that are flashed in the pans and they're big and then they disappear. But the fact that we are still just, like, steady here with that, with our fan base, is...

I love that. I love that more than anything. I want it to be that way forever. I want... As much as I felt like, I see what you're saying, but my first, my knee-jerk reaction was like, oh, stoolies aren't necessarily the same that they once were. I think KSU radio fans are the same that they were then and are now. And I think some of them are older, and so maybe they don't consume as much,

or life changes or whatever. But having that, I would just love for the KFC Radio fan base to always, if I could just always count on this fan base to be that forever. And we don't even necessarily need that to grow. I would love that diehard level to keep going. But if we just kept the ones that we've had for this long, because if you stuck around for this long, I feel like we're in it until death do us part, until the flapjacks are on.

Then you feel like, then it's like, you don't have anything to worry about because when the chips are really down, if I can always count on those people, we can do this forever. Me and you, them, they as fans can get this forever. We can do it forever. You just have to make sure that, like, when shit goes down,

like, if this somehow was just a KFC radio thing, I would love to know that we could rely on our fans to be like, all of our fans will pay $9.99. And I hope that translates to surviving Barstool too, but there's something about, like, when it's our thing. And I think that we've, we've pretty much like fostered that and done that, but I would just love to be able to like bank on that forever.

Cause we are reaching a weird time where like everything's, everybody's getting older. Barstool's changing. The landscapes are changing. The younger people are different. You know, it's just all very strange. And it's like,

as long as I can count on that and you guys hold up your end and we hold up, like, we'll hold up our end, we're good. But I need to know that, you know, you'll always buy some T-shirts. You'll always buy some tickets. You'll always, you know, if you need the pay-per-view, if you need the donation, if you need the, you know, whatever it is, I feel like we've got that fan base. We just got to keep it there forever. And things like this make me realize I think we do have that in spades maybe not the biggest, maybe not the most

vocal, like I definitely think there are other fan bases too that are more vocal, more more showy they have names and they have things and weird more like the quiet side of it, but I would hope that when we need it if we need it

like they are you know chicken heads show out so um but i i hope you're right i think there'll be a lot of people i do i i think there's still a lot of people who are on this like it's a principal thing which is just like okay man yeah i mean that's the principles it's a strange it's a weird thing to really draw a line in the sand on, but okay. It's also so, so, so worth it. If this was almost anything else, I'd be like, I don't know, man. Maybe you want it, maybe you don't. $10, I get it.

There's a whole streaming service. You can buy a whole fucking Oscar-worthy movie. Okay, this to me, I'm like, I am guaranteeing sure that you're going to get, you'll get $9.99 worth in this episode alone, let alone the final six. Did you give anyone the okay to switch over to the Barstool Confessions YouTube channel? It's now the Barstool Mincy channel. You're welcome, Mincy. I just got an email, like, you're now, like, the Barstool team is now the owner of Barstool Mincy.

I was like, why do I have access to Barstool Mincy? And all the old confessions are just on private now. And it's going to be where Wake Up Mincy happens. So you don't have to subscribe if you're already subscribed. Mincy can use Barstool Confessions in two weeks when he says the N-word. How many subscribers are on there? Like 3,000. Oh, okay. I lost.

I had that for a while. I lost that channel. Yeah, they probably started scrubbing it and kicking us off. I got no heads up on that one. Fuck. Never mind. Fuck this company. Everything I said.

Let's do the voicemails. Voicemails are brought to you by Pir water go get it right now it's great for a ski weekend oh my goodness gracious thinking about sitting on a porch after a nice ski day steam coming out of my underloins. Pirate water in hand. It's living, baby. It is for partiers, for ragers. It is the perfect drink for you. It comes in Bahama Mama, Miami Vice, Margarita, Sex on the Beach. All the beachy flavors. Take that to the mountain.

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Also, make sure to follow and tag at Pirate Water in your post for a chance to be reposted. Hey. Just getting home from a night out. And took control of the touch tunes at the bar. And typically my first move is Everlasting Love by Carl Carlton. Today I chose Style by Taylor Swift. Got the whole bar bumping. And then went to All I Want for Christmas to You by Mariah Carey.

Somebody overpaid to skip me for some trash Lady Gaga song. And that made me irate. I had to fully shift the vibe? Dude, that's a tough one. I just got home from the bar call in the sense like when you're in that state and everything's a secret yeah you're in your own apartment by yourself um like oh i got some tea um the uh you know i i actually went to a concert last night i went to uh mark roberge and john lampley at City Winery. And this is obviously I'm a prisoner of the moment right now. They burned the house down with Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Like, dude, like Lampley was on the horns.

Mark was doing fucking spruce. And it was, dude, like the whole City Winery is an older crowd. It's a Sunday night. People were raging. People were up like santa claus is coming hey hey hey santa claus it was fucking bro i i hadn't felt any christmas until that and like now i'm like you're sitting in a sweater now um you were sitting in seats for this i actually i didn't know they're a little sweet they're little boxes so i was in mark's little

box at like at city wine right and then people like, they got up and were like dancing and shit for that song? For that song. Yeah, yeah. And they stayed up for that too. Right, right, right. That was one of my encore songs. I mean, right now, Christmas music at bars murders. It can't be like, you know, fucking the slow ones.

But the Mariahs or Bruce or whatever. That shit hits. In general, I'll always throw the fastball and just go with Call Me Maybe. Call Me Maybe is a great one. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere. This is a song that actually was – I've loved this song since probably 2007. But I think it's having a bit of a resurgence right now because I've heard it out recently. It is the final song in Salt Burn,

so I'm guessing that's what is causing this resurgence. But Murder on the Dance Floor is a heater. What's Murder on the Dance Floor? Oh, man. By who? I don't know who it's by. It's Murder on the Dance Floor. DJ, I'm going to burn this goddamn house right down.

Do you know? Dude, it is. I mean, I'm sure maybe. No joke, my troublemaking friend from school, this was his favorite song. And so we used to listen to it all the time. And then when this came out of the install, I was like, no fucking way. Because that's like a boarding school type thing, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When someone jumps you in touch tunes, it's fucking.

I'm not a big touch tunes guy i like it but i don't i'm not really a music guy so i don't really i'm never like give me the aux anytime i've ever done it i've put like a hundred dollars in like this is gonna be playing till tuesday i love when someone else in my group is in control of the touch next up this guy's guys i know you're going through all that stuff right now with barstool survivor youtube basically telling you what you can and can't say regulating your speech what's something that you think should be regulated that isn't already my example is the volume of commercials i think is absolutely out of control when you're watching a show and then out of nowhere a commercial comes on and it's like a million times louder

than the show. That drives me nuts. Yeah, so what should be regulated that isn't already? Does it need to be tech? Could be anything. More regulation needed. Probably speech. I was going to say

voting. Speech. and driving. Three things that are regulated that probably need more of it. It's a very American idea. I can just say whatever I want whenever I want with no repercussions. I hate that it's like, you yeah yeah if you want kirk minahan to be able to say i'm gonna blow up your home in a funny way that you have to have this like blanket free speech thing or else it's a slippery slope but it's like no the people who are doing a

creative show should be able to say i'm gonna blow up your house and dig up your dead dad and the assholes who are like you know spitting fucking racist vitriol should not you know i don't know use your fucking head. We should probably regulate sex a little more, too. I mean, think about it. It's the most, you know, it's like the biggest thing that we do, you know? And you're just like, I see. I strongly disagree with that.

It's like the most, it's the most like power you have. It drives everything. Yeah, yeah. So much little time to spend actually. Right. Right. But like the, the,

you know, the, the results of it, the power of it, the, the drive. And you know, we just,

as soon as those things get hard, you can just fucking do it. And it's like, if you're a kid or like, I don't know, people, some people should not be able to procreate. We should,

we should straight up sterilize certain people. I don't know that all those things need to be regulated a littlereate. We should straight up sterilize certain people. I don't know. All those things need to be regulated a little bit more. I have one. I went to a Bruins game over Thanksgiving. In arena giveaways. Can't do them.

It's too much. Dude, it used to be like every game you had like two, right? You had like your seat upgrade and your fan of the game. Like not even giveaways but like – Challenges. Engagements or whatever you want to call them. Right, right, right. Like every whistle now, there's something presented by somebody. Which – where the ball under the hat and like here's the trivia and here's –

know the song and name the tune and all that shit. And that's obviously speaking to the world today. But, like, yo, I can hang out for a second while you clean the ice. Just play the organ. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Done. We're back on. Don't worry about it.

You don't have to distract me from the fact that someone is shoveling the ice right now. Just I'll watch that, and then I'll watch the hockey again when that's done. Also, to piggyback on that with one of yours as well, the veteran of the game has gotten wildly out of hand. Oh. Yeah. Servicemen and women of the game. They clearly have run through the A team.

No. They run through, like, the B and C team. We're not talking about, like, the secretary at the National Guard in San Diego. It's like, okay. Dude, I was at a Bruins game years ago. This stuck with me. I stood up and gave a standing ovation for a soldier who was surprising his mom, and it turned out he'd been in Columbus, Ohio for six months.

I almost took a knee on the spot. I was like, he was where? Columbus? Why didn't you go visit him? It's 69 bucks. To this day, I was like, I looked at my brother, I was like, did they just say Columbus? Straight out of curve.

That's like them getting the call. She's just like, for real? You are digging deep. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel. I didn't even realize we were at war with Cartagena in Ohio. Dude's been going to Ohio State games and shit.

I don't know if that needs a standing out rentaf is teaming up with barstool hq and giving away a producers uh one of our producers a free month of rent we pay them tune in to the nyc office wide campaign led by kelly keegs our resident president on barstool Radio for all the talent to pitch why their producer deserves free rent. I think Jackie and Paz deserve free rent because they work hard and they bring such a glowing attitude to the show. And they buy me Snoop Solo stoves whenever I ask.

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rent app dot rent dot app slash barstool for 50 bucks off your first rent payment and download rent app in the app store today all right kfc fights in the gang um so i'm uh 27 years old just moved out of a uh post-college house with like very good friends that uh three guys that are all moving into homes with their uh um significant others and girlfriends um my uh two best friends from home are uh that i grew up with like high school both are married one has kids like the other has a kid on the way and just like you know some general advice like for number one how to manage like you know being single and like in and around like you know people that are probably more advanced and you know relationship and, stuff like that in general. Um, but number two, um, as, uh, as I'm moving out of this place, I work a remote job and just like, just cause I can, I'm, I'm taking advantage and

I'm going to do a, uh, I live in the mid Atlantic and do, do a month in a Boulder this winter. And then, um, gonna do a, a month in a Boulder this winter. And then, um, gonna do a, a month in Florida after that. And like, just any general advice for like somebody like doing some travel to like, you know, a city you haven't been to and like going to me for a little bit. Um,

so anything you guys can give me in general, but, uh, anyway, appreciate the advice and, uh, you know, looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks. Peter Pan. The floor is yours. I do. I actually don't have advice. Cause like I. Peter Pan, the floor is yours. Dude, I actually don't have advice because I'm Peter Pan, but I'm in Never Never Land. Yeah, you're not surrounded by it. I don't have friends who have kids.

What that guy needs is Robin Williams and Hook. He went back to the real life. You're just Rufio. little like occasionally i get a text picture of a baby who i'm the godfather of and i just heart it and that's about the i would imagine as a guy as a girl i feel like it's tough as a girl you probably still gotta go to all these girl things and now there's all babies and moms around and shit but that's like your life yeah

as a guy i feel like it's like we're just not going to invite steve anymore to this thing because we're doing a couple's night and steve's like out fucking girls not even like in a bad way it's just like right he doesn't want to go i would you don't want to subject him to it like when my friends like a lot of my all my friends with kids do not live near me. So when my friends in D.C. invite me, I go. And when my sister invites me to her house, I go. And when – I think you'll always get an invite.

And if it was a more consistent thing, I think you'd probably be left off a couple – it's just like if we're getting the kids together, we don't need to also include John. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think he's going to be upset that we didn't include him in that. And Lord knows we don't even want to be included in this so i subject him to that so like it kind of works out now if for some reason like you're at all of these things i don't know i think that's a little weird i don't think it's weird i i guess you know like weird for who i mean almost everybody like mean, if we're talking about like birthdays and events and stuff like, yes. But if it's like, you know, we're doing couples night because our, you know, our lives suck.

And we also our kids are in the same grade. And then also like John's there. It's like this is fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I see. Yeah.

Events. Yes. Yeah. Event. You know, you should always go to fucking birthdays and baptisms and all that stuff. If you want to. I think you should make an effort for all those things. Cause that's the kind of stuff where you're like at this age, here will be my advice at

this age when you do get invited to, let's say a baptism that fucking sucks. Right. But you say no to that. And then you say no to the first birthday and you say no to this, you say no to that. And then all of a sudden, like, you're not, you don't know any of your friends and their kids. And like all of a sudden it might take like 10 years but all of a sudden you might turn around and be like oh fuck I have like

you know I don't have any of this shit in my life so I would go to some of those things make an effort because 99% of the rest of your life you do whatever you want at all times it's like yeah this Sunday you gotta go to a baptism it blows but like then go back to doing whatever the fuck you want you know recognize that your friends

that you're talking about who do have these kids don't get to do that ever. But yeah, I think if you're going to a lot of... I just don't think you can... Life changes so much for the people who do it, and then also for this one guy left. It's like you don't have the gang anymore. I don't know.

Your life totally changes too. My core friends i'm i'm not i'm not i'm so far removed from all them physically like yeah physically that like you know we only see each other at events anyway right so like right it's if you if you were like living like this this is actually not as he said like pairing off with their significant others that is the first step of life which kind of sucks in the beginning i think you're living with four guys three guys like i'm moving in with my girl in the beginning i think you fifth wheel sixth wheel tenth wheel that a lot whatever it is yeah i think you do still show up to the bar because the girls are still going out you still have some of your traditions now it's just like couples are there all the time instead of just being the guys i think you do still show up to the bar because the girls are still going out. You still have some of your traditions. Now it's just like couples are there all the time instead of just being the guys.

I think you, you go to a lot of those things. It's when the kids get involved that you might turn around and be like, I don't have a social life anymore because like all my dad, all my friends are now dads, all of their, their wives who used to hang out now, no way,

you know, they're dealing with their kids. Like, what do I do now? I don't know. I don't know what you do there because I think you get in a little bit of trouble where it's like, I'm hanging out with the 25-year-old from work. It's like, that's fucking weird.

I don't understand how that happens. For that to happen, you just have to stop going to age-appropriate places. Or you keep going to age-appropriate places. I think it is usually a work thing like i my one buddy who held out oddly enough my one friend who had the longest relationship also held out the longest for marriage so he was in a relationship the whole time but he was like i'm not getting married until he was like 38 but he started dating her when he was like 25 it was really it was a very strange dynamic but i think he was he was at work and a couple of the younger people were like, oh, that guy is a manager, but he's cool. And it's like, you want to come out for a beer or whatever?

And then all of a sudden you just find yourself going out with – I remember being like, what are you doing? Going out with the interns, dude? You're like – you're about to be promoted to managing director. What are you doing? So I think that's one way it happens but yeah the rest i don't know i mean but but but relationships and kids are two different levels of your social life dying like very different really i mean because couples still will go out and shit you know yeah it's like uh you don't like this wife or that wife used to party more

or hey they leave early or we don't go to this strip club or whatever crazy guy things you might do. That changes. But you're still like still just adults hanging out. Kids is like all of this is done. None of this is happening anymore. I'm very lucky that like everyone I hang out with is infertile. I mean Barstool is just such a fucking weird experiment yeah it's it's one you're living a giant reality show pretty much right you know so you have peers that are all your age kind

of going through the same thing where most people if you're like this you're probably the odd man out and here you're the weirdo if you have kids yeah i think it's evening out but in the beginning like when i was having kids i was like i don't have a single person in the world I can talk to about this. I can talk to some guys at WFAN who are radio hosts who have kids, but there was not one person in the world that can be like, how do you do your job like this and have kids? Not one. From my hometown, I think everyone has kids, but I don't even really. My high school friends, one person has a kid.

Crazy. Out of like 10 of us. Yeah, so you're all either just infertile or smart. One or the other. Geniuses or shooting blanks. Either way is good. All right. This is what we call a win-win.

Yeah, man. Let's get into it with Sebastian Maniscalco, one of the biggest comedians in the world, back after, what, maybe five years since his last appearance? At least, yeah. Here on KFC Radio. How you doing, man? Good.

Is this a new studio? Yes, it is. Actually, this is a whole new building. So last time you were with us, right? Or maybe it was a year. I think it was the old building. I think it was the old building i think it was the old building we we we yeah we had you in our in our previous studio i think and then yet uh then we used to be next door and now we're here so moving on up you know moving on up looks good i mean i feel like since

the last time we did talk uh you've been moving on up business has been good the last few years. It has, but I'm always worried. Business might not be as good as previous years. Are you still at this level? You're still a little concerned? Yeah. I feel like if I'm not concerned, I feel like if I'm not worrying, then

there's a problem. Do you think that is your personality, though? Or do you think that's a valid, like, I get what you mean about, like, you can't get complacent. You shouldn't rest on your laurels. But I would say a man of your success, a man of your level, you can relax that, like, you're pretty good. No. I love it. I love it.

I have no, listen, I always write material. I'm always very serious about what I do. I'm just saying how long could you remain at this level? There's got to be like a dip off. Yeah. At some point, you're coming back down. Yeah, yeah. And you might still be near the top, but it's on the – Yeah, yeah.

So that's it. I just – listen, guys. I live in the negative. Yeah. My man. I'm right there. We're riding together, dude. Some people think of that as probably obnoxious and abrasive and a bad way to live.

But I'll tell you, man, I think the people who live in the positive, those rise and grinders, like we're going to – God gave us another day and we're so lucky and i love that bad bad bad it's like shut up shut up you hear a lot of like gratitude yeah listen i don't know i i wake up and it's like doomsday man did that did that uh was that always your, or did you hit an age? No, I think it's my family. Listen, we've always had a really nice, fun-loving, had a sense of humor with the family, but it was either we were laughing or we were crying.

There's no really gray area. I always think of when you wake up. I don't know if it's from him, but I feel like The Rock kind of made it famous where when your feet hit the floor in the morning, make sure the devil goes, uh-oh, he's up. And I just think every morning I wake up because I have a mirror right by my bed. So I sling my legs out of the bed, and I see myself,

and I'm just like, this is not how Dwayne Johnson does it. The devil doesn't give a fuck. I sit there, and I'm just like, all right, here we go. Time to do this again. Well, let me ask you something. Do you have a mirror right there? Is it specifically planted there so you could see yourself? Or it just happens to be that's where you put it and now you're seeing yourself in the

If I know my guy, that's a mirror that's just been laid up against the wall that he hasn't hung. Sebastian, Kevin, it's a mirror a woman put there about four years ago. She doesn't live there anymore. That's the other possibility. It's just like, I don't know, I think it's where she got dressed

and now it's just where I see in the morning. I can't imagine you getting up in the morning. So if you don't know his sleep habits the way this audience does, he eats in bed all the morning. So if you don't know his sleep habits the way this audience does, he eats in bed all the time. He's eating bed, huh? Talking ice cream and cookies. He has sheets with pockets on the side

so he can reach in and grab a treat. He'll often fall asleep with ice cream that melts. So you've got to imagine this gentleman waking up. He also wears underwear that's too small for him. Wakes up in the morning, throws his feet over. He's probably scratching. He's got chocolate ice cream on him. He. Wakes up in the morning, throws his feet over. He's probably scratching. He's got chocolate ice cream on him. He looks in the mirror and he goes, this is what The Rock does.

Well, no wonder you are not taking The Rock seriously. You're waking up with crumbs on your chest. You might actually, like, you guys could potentially be polar opposite on the spectrum when it comes to that sort of, like, if you lived a life in his shoes

you did a freaky friday thing i think you jump off a break this morning i actually have cleaning people come into my apartment and i i had um it wasn't a kind bar but it's one of that that that ilk that kind of bar where you take one bite and it falls apart it disintegrates everywhere and i had one of those in bed last night and i i was leaving my apartment and i i saw my bed and i was like i knew cleaning people were coming today and i was just like that is that's too many crumbs for the cleaning people to see so i took all my sheets off my bedroom in the wash i was like this is this is embarrassing i can't see the cleaning people have the cleaning people see i live like this, I mean, I got to imagine that's a no-fly for you. No, I mean, there's no food.

There's a bottle of water on the bedside table. But other than having a full meal in bed, I think that's where we draw the line. Well, what do you think would be your, you know, just being a very particular guy and you're very always put together, you know, sharp, clean, smooth. What would be your you know just being a very particular guy and you're very always put together you know sharp clean smooth what what would be like your nightmare would it be like not being able to brush your teeth or not being able to wash your do your hair like what's like the worst thing for you you know what i um talking about hair it's it's interesting do you wash your hair every day? No. No, you don't. Brother, this guy. This guy, once a month maybe.

Once a month on the hair? It's gotten a little more. It used to be like that. I'm probably bi-weekly. You know, they do say when we started to care a little bit more about our appearance, despite the stories we're telling, we're getting our hair cut from this place, and we're hearing about how you actually should leave the oils in and not wash it every day

so I think he took that and ran with it I washed it every day I learned at a very young age, not very young age but I was in high school and I had a buddy who had great hair and I was like what do you do? I just don't do anything you can tell if I don't shower, put on deodorant, and comb my hair, I stink, my armpits are gross, and my hair looks greasy.

So I do it every day. And I might be stripping it of the natural oils and all that, but I clean it every day. All right. That's what I've heard. I've heard this recently about the showering. Because I used to wash my hair every day, too. Yeah. And I'm like, all right, let me go a week and see if there's any difference.

Really? So now you're on the no wash train? I'm on the no wash train, but I'm not really seeing a like, oh, look at the oil dripping off my forehead. That's true. I wouldn't say if I'm washing with regularity, I don't think I'm like, oh, this is impossible to manage. It's just my routine, but I don't think I'm like, oh, this is impossible to manage. It's kind of just my routine.

But I wouldn't say – I've gone through times where I'm like, oh, I did it three times this week. And I'm not like, oh, it's different now. Don't you – you guys put like hair product in your hair? Yeah. But I guess the water is enough to wash that out. Yeah. So it's not like you're like, that's caking up. So you just give it a little rinse and you're done.

Yeah. You know, listen, I don't know if your fan base here is into hygiene and hair washing, but if you need to know what I do is if I'm not using shampoo, it's a vigorous rub, right, to massage the scalp and then a pat dry and go, I'm losing hair. Talking to you guys? Are you fighting the fight? Yeah, I had a hair transplant about five years ago, five, six years ago, just up here in the front, which I'm noticing those hairs are staying and the others are falling out. So they took it from the back and put it up here.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. That almost feels like less, first of all, I don't care. Get your surgeries, get whatever to make yourself look better. I'm all about it. But when you're taking your own hair and just moving it, it's like, I'm not cheating, that's just rearranging. Rearranging the furniture. I didn't steal anybody's furniture.

I was just moving mine around. That's great. Oh, God. Yeah, that. I've never done the, I haven't done the plugs of the surgery, but I've been on the Propecia for a minute when I found out. My grandfather, my mom's dad, who I think they say is what you're supposed to have hair-wise, had hair until the day he died.

And my parents always told me that, and they said we look alike. So I was just like, I'm always going to have hair-wise, had hair until the day he died. And my parents always told me that, and they said we look alike. So I was just like, I'm always going to have hair. And then I was like 28, 29, something like that. I took a picture. I also never thought about any of this shit, but then we started to do this, and I posted a picture,

and the comments were just like, oh my God, say goodbye to that hair. Your hair is running away. And I looked, and I was getting the power alleys. So I was like, okay. And then people are like like you can't those might affect your your libido and your dick and your bed and i was like i don't care bro if i don't have this none of that stuff's gonna happen so one step at a time so i started to do that and it worked out well for me but i the day that it i debate on the day that it becomes a problem doing the the surgery or just

well how long you been on the Propecia? A while now. Okay, so I was on Propecia. This was... Probably like eight years now. Okay, eight years. But also sometimes I forget and it kind of comes and goes, but... I had a problem, a slight pain in my left nut on Propecia.

No way. Yeah. Persistently, always there? Yeah. And when you stopped, it went away, so you could tell it was that? Yeah. Just like an ache?

Yeah, it's like a pain you're not supposed to be feeling down there. Huh. And I attribute it to the Propecia. Of course, no doctor. No, no. You attribute it to that. Yeah, nobody else.

You want to check this out? I go, no, I think it's the Propecia, and I stopped taking it, and then that pain went away. Well, that's all. You don't need a doctor to tell you. It's my own self-diagnosis. Whenever I have any pain down there, I'm like, I probably just need to come.

It's like turning something off and on again. If you have the Propecia, just master it. I'm like, I got to get rid of this pain in my left nut. Dude, this new movie, Bookie. New show. New show, sorry. It looks very, very cool. Well, thanks.

I mean, this is a show that was pitched to me by Chuck Lorre and Nick Bakai, who wanted to dive in the world of a bookie kind of navigating the waters of legalized gambling. Very timely. Very apropos. Yeah. So I was like, wow, I've never really seen this kind of show on TV. And it's a comedy. It's kind of like a buddy comedy, me and Omar Dorsey.

He plays my muscle or my visual deterrent, if you will. And it was great. It was really cool. And I don't gamble a lot. I used to gamble in Las Vegas. Not on sports, just blackjacks and whatnot. But the world of being a bookie and the clients and how that all works and when you go collect money and when you give the guy a little bit of breathing room, it was interesting to find out.

There's being a bookie and then there's being a bookie because it's almost like a visual deterrent. Like you said, it's like, I really, really, really hope this guy pays up because I don't want to actually kneecap him. I don't actually want to threaten his family or whatever crazy shit you're going to do. Yeah. Because I would imagine there was some bookies out there doing small time stuff where you could have got away with murder just being like i'm not gonna pay you so so you you you maybe played blackjack and all that stuff and maybe didn't bet on sports but i just feel like your life your upbringing i feel like you were around that a little bit you know you would think you would think that i was like around this world of like we're playing uh craps on a sidewalk yeah running numbers and that's on the eagles i grew up in the northwest

suburbs of chicago in a uh you know middle class neighborhood where you know we played hide and seek okay okay i get it i wasn't colloginal you know for brock's thing uh so yeah i you know i didn't really grow up around it i saw a lot in college i saw a lot of gambling going on in college uh which is kind of my first introduction to that whole scene and then you know periodically throughout my life i've known people that used bookies but i've never called a bookie and said i've placed bets through my friend's book but i never had a guy that I was in with. There's a lot of storylines that happen with people

and their lot in life and how they're gambling. This show also centers around, I'm also a family guy. I'm married. I have a stepson. I'm working through that. So sometimes you just think of a bookie in a dark room with a lot of cigarettes counting money

in this show we kind of show the other side he's got to go home to a wife he's got to go to school to drop his kid off it's such a weird thing it's almost like when you're a child and you see the teacher out that kind of stereotype

they have a life you're a child and you see the teacher out, that kind of stereotype. You're like, oh, yeah, they have a life. Yeah, yeah. They're a regular person. Yeah. And particularly someone who runs your bookie at the grocery store. Yeah. With this show, I actually am kind of interested to talk to you because I have a question with you're so prolific.

You do so many things. And we try and do different things. We have a radio show. We have KFCc radio sketch show we all like how do you separate your time from stand-up to tv to you know movies like how are is there any part of you where you're like okay this aspect of the day is for this or you kind of just like whatever comes to my head that's what i'm doing yeah so for me I don't really compartmentalize my time for these certain projects. When I'm doing a TV show, I'm doing a TV show. I'm not doing real stand-up.

So you won't even consider writing stand-up during that? Well, no, and I don't even write stand-up. It's like storytelling. Something will happen to me when I take my kids to Universal Studios, and that becomes a story I tell on stage. But you've got to like, or you just rip it off the top of your head. You gotta write it down, craft it a little bit. Whatever happens to you today

in a general day. Say you call your wife or your mother or whatever. What'd you do today? There's like a storytelling between the person that you're talking to. I happen to just have the ability to tell the story from a point of view that has humor inserted into the story.

So when I go on stage and work those bits out or those stories out and I record them and then I just over and over tell the story again, that's kind of how my writing process works. So I don't really, I do do a movie i'm concentrated on the movie and the lines lines is a big deal for me because i don't know how to memorize lines without literally reading the thing over and over again some people get the the script they read it a few times okay let's go let's go i gotta go away for three weeks in a dark room so um yeah and and now you know i got two small kids six and four i'm trying to um because i don't want to be a guy looking back going what the hell was i doing

in montana on a tuesday night performing while my my daughter was doing a recital yeah i want to be that guy yeah you got to work right you got it you you know you gotta make a living but you also have to you know spend a lot of time with your with your family i believe because those those those moments they go by like this i got a six-year-old daughter i look him back at when she was two going when was that you know and if you don't stop and smell the roses in my opinion then you're kind of missing out yeah what's it all for what are we doing yeah so by the way i just want to note one thing real quick it wasn't it didn't wasn't lost on me the wife your mother you call your wife you call your mother i call my wife and my mother this guy's got crumbs in his bed your mother

yeah i just assumed if you're if you're eating ice cream and waking up with mint chocolate chip on your nipples, you're not really locked in on a relationship. I wasn't going to say it. I was like, that is for real. That is fucking great, man. There's no shot this guy's got a woman who loves him. The one who has to. Well, you did say you had a girl

who put the mirror there yeah so that was four years ago yeah oh yeah she's gone yeah that is interesting though because like we do wear a lot of different hats here and sometimes i think like like i hear stories about if somebody writes a book they like go disappear for a year to write a book and we can't really do that per se it's like we got to do this show every day to pay the bill not every day but every week to pay the bills yeah and if and i feel like if you want to go do a sketch show properly you want to write a book you want to do a whatever you almost have to like not be doing that other thing every single day if you want to dive into

it but it's not as realistic for us as but i you know like like when you were on the road every day night week whatever to make money you couldn't really take off to go do it like or would you like if you got offered a movie or a show then like you said even when even in the early days you would stop doing and just dive in fully i didn't i didn't get offered anything when i was doing stand-up comedy so there was really no i didn't have any alternative to go to a comedy club make a $1,000 a week, whatever they paid, and that was that. If I did get a movie or a TV show, it was going to pay $1,000, it was going to pay me more than $1,000 anyway, so I would definitely take that opportunity, but I didn't get a lot of opportunities when I was coming up through the ranks of stand-up comedy.

What was your first movie? First movie I ever did? Jeez. Were you trying to become an actor, or did they just start to fall on your lap because people were like, this guy is funny and animated? Okay, so you were auditioning. I was auditioning, but the audition process for me was quite painful. It wasn't good. I rarely booked anything on an audition.

You got in there, like, I don't know the lines. I didn't study. I used to remember my mom though. But it was not until later on in life that I was put in rooms that, and auditioning is all about confidence, right? I had no confidence going into these rooms. But when I had some success in stand-up,

people that I was auditioning for were a fan of what I was doing outside of the room. Sure. So I felt confident. So now they're like, look at you, he's the star. Yeah, so I felt a little bit more of, I had an upper hand in that way.

But yeah, I didn't get a lot of movies or TV roles until later on in my career. The Irishman was, I feel like, the big one where you were like, oh shit, Sebastian's in movies now. That's the biggest movie that I had ever done at that particular time. I mean, it was only a five-day or six-day work.

It's a cool role. Yeah, but it was cool. I didn't even audition for that role. The audition happened here in New York. Short story, they called me and said, do you want to go to New York and audition in the room? Or do you want to send in a tape from LA? I said, I'm going to New York. Yeah, totally. I want to be in the room. I get in the room and I start to fall apart. I'm sweating. That would be me. My mouth goes completely dry and they're keep working with me. And when they keep working with you, it means they know there's potential.

When are you going to show us? So half an hour I'm in there, I'm like, this is it. No, that's a long time. It was bad. It was really bad. Because to me, once that starts, it doesn't stop. Unless I get to stop, take a break, drink a water, calm down. But I'm not going to get through it in the moment.

You're right. You really got to power through. It's definitely snowballs. And this is what they told me when I first came in. They're like, listen, Martin Scorsese really likes you. And this is just kind of like a format. Now, if you tell me something positive, I'm going to screw it up. If they said, you got to really work for this role marty doesn't

really even know you then i'm like oh yeah i'm gonna show him yeah so i walk out of there call my agent i go bad news you're gonna get a bad report this didn't go well and sure enough he calls me he's like yeah they said you're very inconsistent they had no confidence in your ability to to hold your own with Robert De Niro. That's a pretty fucking high bar, by the way. Yeah, correct. I'll let you finish, I'm sorry.

So, they said, if you want to redo it, they'll be happy to see one on tape before I send it in. So I called my acting coach, I go, we gotta put a tape together, let's send it in. So I sent it in coach. I go, we've got to put a tape together. Let's send it in. So I sent it in. That one was really good. And he gave me the crazy Joe Gallo role from that audition.

I didn't even audition for that particular role, but I guess he saw what I did and gave me that role. But it was still anxiety. The first day I'm with Pesci and De Niro and Scorsese on the set. I'm like, what am I doing here? That's crazy. That's the lineup of all lineups to just walk in on that.

Did you get to call those people who you casted for it and you're like, you wouldn't know what I was going to do with De Niro on set? Send them the whole fucking about my father? Oh, I didn't even understand the question. At one point In the future In your career

You were like You don't know how Oh yeah I mean you ended up Doing a movie with De Niro You know Was that Did that develop after

Like when you did The Irishman Was Were you Did you click with De Niro No No No

It wasn't like It's not like we were like Cut We doing tonight Yeah It was none of that it was like cut he went to his thing and i you know stayed in my section yeah there was no real like socializing whatsoever and people asked me oh did you did you call him up and ask him to play your dad in about

my father i was like no i didn't have the guy's number uh a producer got him the script and he enjoyed the script and he he actually came to see me at Radio City Music Hall after we did The Irishman. So there was a bit of a relationship there. I mean, I'd say that's a pretty... Yeah, I mean, listen. Respect, you know? Yeah, there was no phone calls or nothing like that.

Did you know that he was in the audience that night? Yeah. That's got to be a little bit... I mean, yeah. It's a guy I grew up with having posters on the wall. And he's there watching you tonight. And now he's at my show. It's a bit surreal.

And then he's playing my father. And on top of that, my father is coaching him on set. How to be me. Because he wanted him there. So my father's like, De Niro, call me once me on set. How to be me. Because he wanted him there. So my father's like, De Niro, call me. He wants me on set. How much does that pay? My dad was looking for a check.

No way. Hell yeah, what a hustler. You're looking for Robert De Niro. That's your payment. But I gotta take off work. If I take off work, I'm gonna lose money. How much? That's unbelievable. Yeah, my dad

was looking for a salary. I respect the hell out of that. How much are you writing the check for? And then on set, you run a line, you do a scene, would he be like, that's not right.

No, no, no. This is how I do it. Is he barking out orders to De Niro? Because that would be crazy. There's one point where I had to cry in the movie. So I go to this, we're on a tarmac airplane. He comes off the airplane, and I kind of profess my love to my father. Now, I was pining this the whole time I was on set because I'm like, I got i've never really cried i'm a sensitive guy but i've never cried on a on a movie yeah yeah

so we do two scenes i ain't crying right he's crying and i'm looking at him in the scene going this guy's crying i'm cute like i was like a fan watching him. And then I finally asked him, I go, I'm having problems here, man. Can you help me out? He takes me aside and he tells me his process. He's like, you know what I do is I think of my son. Because my son is your age. He starts crying talking about his son.

And I start crying. And I go, I got to use this. Let me use this. So i come into the scene crying i wasn't supposed to come into the scene crying but i was just using it as momentum yeah yeah yeah so i learned a lot from him just just being around him and what he was kind of teaching me throughout the whole process but yeah i mean it was it was a it was it gave me a lot of confidence moving forward to do a show like Bookie. Because now I feel like I was... You did hang with De Niro.

I hung with De Niro for eight weeks on a set. And it gave me confidence moving forward that, yeah, I do have some ability here. I'm by no means a seasoned actor. I'm still working on it. And it's still difficult for me. But I enjoy doing it i mean with bookie like there's i was asking you earlier how you split time and how you decide on things like that but when truck lori calls you have to be like yep whatever you want well yeah but i had to be

uh interested in the the the show that he was pitching me uh and i i just don't do anything just because some somebody's behind it that's really, you know, if Chuck pitched me a story about me being a school teacher in Nebraska maybe, I'm like, eh, no, I'm not interested. But when he said bookie, gambling, comedy, I was like, oh, wow, that's something I would love to explore. So that doesn't have that much influence. I wonder, like, when someone who calls, like, obviously a Scorsese, Chuck Lorre,

like, you know it's going to be a hit. But even if you know it's going to be a hit, you're still, if you're not... I've got to love it. Yeah, I've got to love the content. I've got to love the idea, the material. I can't, you know, like, the Joe Gallo thing, I just thought was, the Irishman was just a cool kind of crime, you know, mafia movie. That's interesting. Green Book, I was in Green Book for a little bit. crime, you know, mafia movie.

That's interesting. Green Book, I was in Green Book for a little bit. I thought the story was really cool. So I have to be, you know, some of these actors, I really give it to them because they might not have that opportunity to kind of pick and choose what they want to do. They got a job, they're going to do it. Thank God I do stand-up because stand-up kind of allows me to do the projects that I really feel passionate about.

You don't need it. Yeah, I don't really need it. I don't really do it. I want to do it. How much does network or studio matter? Obviously, all these things matter at some level, but it's really just about material. Yeah, I don't really even pay attention to, okay, who's this going to be with? Because these shows, you never know.

Hulu show could take off. Amazon could take off. There really is no rhyme or reason. Yeah, there's really no rhyme or reason. At least for me. I don't know. Maybe I don't know the inner workings of streaming or whatnot. But I feel like.

I don't think anyone does. Including. In Bookie, you have a co-star who I actually haven't seen for a while. But Charlie Sheen. Yeah. That's a big one, a while, but Charlie Sheen. Yeah. That's a big one, man. What's Charlie Sheen? So they reunite.

Chuck Lorre and Charlie Sheen reunite on the show. Oh, fuck. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, so two and a half men with the tiger blood or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That whole thing, which happened, I don't know, years ago. That was wild. From our point of view as bloggers and dealing with the entertainment world, when all those quotes were coming out, we were like,

holy fucking shit, what is going on? Can't come to your float. T-shirts that said winning. Yeah, we sold the T-shirt and said winning. Oh, really? And it allowed us to keep the lights on. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, he was a nice guy.

I've never met him prior to this show. I met him on set. He came on set, and he was nothing but professional and kind of quiet, very shy, humble guy. Interesting. And he's in two episodes, and he plays himself. Okay, cool. Oh, he plays himself?

Yeah. And Chuck and him reunite together on the show. Are you his bookie in the show? I'm his bookie, yeah. I go collect. That's great. And he's running a card game out of a rehab facility. He's not at the rehab.

He's just running it out of the rehab facility. We've got to go collect. This is the first episode. We go collect money from Charlie Sheen, and then he pops up later. Again, I'm not going to give away what happens, but I thought it was well done. That's awesome. I didn't realize it was well done. That's awesome. I didn't realize it was like that, playing himself. That's really cool.

Let's talk about the biggest travesty in the world is that you not get in the voice of Mario. I auditioned. I know, yeah. And I remember when I started to hear rumors about that, I was like, oh, it had to be him. Shoo-in, right? And I went in, and I did the Mario

you know and they said they said next that's fine it's not it should have either been the dude from the video game Charles whatever the voice of her

he probably was qualified to do Mario's voice. Or you. That's it. Nobody else. Sorry, Chris. Sorry, dude. It's a great movie. It's fun.

Every time he talks, I'm like, you should have been smashed. I appreciate the compliment. It's nice. But Chris Pratt is a major movie star. Oh, I've heard of him. I know he's been in a couple things. Might be married to a Kennedy, I think. You know what I felt on the mario audition i felt the same way i felt on the irishman audition where they were like

okay you're italian you know like where is it but i was i felt like i was doing the mario maybe that they felt i thought they felt they wanted yeah But maybe I should have just did this. Hey, it's me, Mario. I'm trying to give the whole voice. That's an interesting thought. Maybe you over did it. I overdid it. Yeah. I felt I wasn't, based on my audition,

I felt like I wasn't what they were looking for. No. No. It is. I do think it's hugely important to note that Sebastian sang Mario. Kevin's a Mario guy It's Mario It's a New York and New Jersey thing It's Mario

It's Mario Everybody says that's how he says it Yeah, he's saying it with an Italian accent You also walk around saying It's a me? No You talk how you talk, he talks how he talks Mario For me, I grew up in Chicago walk around saying, it's a me? No. He talks how you talk. He talks how he talks. Mario.

No, you know what it was for me is I grew up in Chicago, and there's a lot of, you know, it's the R, the R, the Mar. Yeah. Right, yeah. So you're definitely going to say Mar. It's a Chicago thing. You never had a shot. No, never had a shot going Mario. You had a brain.

Good for you. But you ended up, got that That spike Right That was spike Yeah And I don't know The thing was a juggernaut This Mario Holy shit

Were you into video games Growing up No not really I mean you know Listen I'm older You guys I played Atari Alright

Played Pitfall Harry Pac-Man And once it went Past Atari I didn't really First of all You never played Nintendo. I never did.

Wow. Never played Nintendo. I picked it back up in college playing Sega Genesis Madden, but then it got too complicated. Yeah. I need a few buttons. Especially Madden. Madden is like you're an actual fucking NFL coach.

You got to run everything. I'm like, I just click, click, that's it you know yeah yeah especially with that once it gets into the headsets and all that sort of communicating and i i tell the story where i was i was visiting a buddy and he has two kids and then he had some friends over so they had their two kids and they're playing in this and i'm not one of those like oh this is going to be dangerous to the youth type thing and they're playing in this and i'm not one of those like oh this is going to be dangerous to the youth type thing and they're playing with the fucking oculus's and this kid i just happen to be walking by him like he's not announcing it to the room he's not in a joyous mood he's just talking to himself and he's sitting there with the oculus thing on and he just mumbles to himself man i wish i could stay in the metaverse forever and i was was just like, oh, that's fucking dark, dude.

That's weird, bro. That is so dark that kids are just like, I wish I could stay in this video game forever. This is better than my real life. My fake mommy and daddy in here are better. I don't understand how they don't get nauseated or dizzy. I tried playing a video game years ago, and I literally got like,

I couldn't stand up after i played the video because there's so much movement well it's the same thing as though like they can go on you know roller coasters and spin around 500 times and not do that i can't go on do my kids like on the ride with me i'm like i have to summon the courage of like remember when you were young like do it for your kids i started spinning around oh I got to give you credit that you're even doing it. What they do with me is my wife and the kids go on, and I become the say hello to daddy guy. Yeah. So I say hello to daddy.

It's better than to be the guy going, when's it going to be over? When's it going to be over? Yeah. Your daughter's spinning the teacup going, it's fun, Dad. I'm like, it's fun. You're holding it and being like, I think this one's broken.

I think this one's broken. I have absolutely held it before. For sure. Before she knew it spun. We just stay still on this. I don't think your daughter should see you in a vulnerable position. You're probably right.

Like that, right? I feel like if she sees daddy... She'd rather see him go hi! The princess, hi! Daddy's too big and strong to be on that rollercoaster. Holding mom's purse. I'll see you when you're off!

But yeah, I'm the guy she shouldn't see. Fuck you. Get out of here. You got a point. You got a point. You mentioned it though, that Mario's going to be a fucking juggernaut. I'd imagine there's going to be a whole pen of them, right?

There's going to be a Spike spinoff. Yeah! This is how my career has gone, right, in regards to, like, I always feel like, basically my life, I was never the popular kid in high school. I didn't play football. I played soccer, right?

So it's like all the cheerleaders loved the football players, and then the soccer players had like four people in the stands. Yeah, yeah. So I get this Mario movie. We go to Universal Studios, and they have a whole store dedicated to super mario so i go okay kids come on in let's let's go find daddy's character stuffed animal right they got every character but me on the wall no spike i didn't even get a doll? So not only did I not get Mario, I didn't even get the doll. There's no figurine, no t-shirt, no nothing. Dude, kids, Dad's still sold out.

That's great. A lot of Mario. Spike fucking out the door. I would have knocked a whole row of Mario and Luigi off and be like, these were the Spikes, but they're all sold out, kids. They're all gone. All right. Well, that's not.

So maybe next. Maybe the sequel. Yeah, I was going to say, I would hang on to that, though. I'd play Spike and whatever for as long as I could on that one. That's a great voiceover work. I always think of it as, like, it's got to be great and, like, easy money, but I imagine it's actually harder than it appears. It is. I mean, you're in this,

and I thought, I thought, oh, I'm going to do a voiceover. I'm going to go in with the cast, and we're going to be talking, and Chris Pratt's going to be here, and I'm going to be there. It's in a box.

It's in a box, and then you go ahead and do the lines and somebody else says the other lines but it's you know to to give a character a voice and a life you know you gotta need a voice in life yeah you need to like give it for all so it's not as easy as it looks but you know it's it's not as time consuming as a movie that you have to be on set for. I have a potentially dumb question, potentially good question.

Are they playing the cartoon or the animation and you're trying to line up with its mouth? Yeah, that was a dumb question. No, you do it and then later on they match. Do you know how insanely hard that would be, Russell? That's the smart way.

Hold on. Rewind it. Rewind it. I was pretty sure that wasn't it, but I wasn't positive. You know what? I got to give you that. You said it with such confidence that, you know, I don't think that's a stupid question. You know?

You really believed it. Think about how many times you tried to just do a 10 second TikTok and couldn't match the words. He's doing that for a whole month. These fucking voice actors are crazy. Potentially good. I don't think so.

No, that's a good question to about 15 people out there. I've been wondering the same thing. Now I got it. good question to about 15 people out there so no stand-up right now or I guess you wrapped up well I mean I'm always like going to a club like are you not on tour right why I just announced the tour today okay cool which is called it ain't right which uh i find myself saying a lot nowadays it ain't right that i have sciatic pain ripping

down my right leg right now and uh and i'm falling apart as a human being i'm completely collapsing what what makes you go you're an in shape guy no i? I try to be in shape. However, there's a lot of, like, I feel like I had a 10 year run in the NFL. My body. That's all I did was run. You know, like I ran for quite some time, like running in the pavement apparently has killed my joints. Having kids at a late age, picking up kids. It's crazy that like the wear and tear. It makes perfect sense

where you're like, yeah, you do this every day for 10 years and now that part of your body is affected. But it's like, no, I was just doing, I got a hip thing.

Did you play hockey? I'm like, yeah, when I was in high school. Yeah, it's a hockey injury. What are you talking about? I'm 35 years old. Hockey injuries don't happen anymore.

Your body's not supposed to be doing those things. Think about these ridiculous things we concoct. You put on these pads and rock into each other. It's like your body's like, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? You're the perfect comedian, though, for like – I think I've always thought about aging appropriately I think is the most important thing you can do in this business.

Like not trying to be like, I'm going to, I'm going to stay 21. I want, I'm going to be on Tik TOK. I want to be, I want all my fans to stay that age. And like, as you go, so goes your material.

Yeah. You got it. And now, you know, it's funny to laugh about your body falling apart and getting old and all that. So you could do this literally until you're dead because you don't have to be the old Sebastian or whatever.

No, you kind of, whatever Sebastian is. You're right. You're right. And she has a, you know, you guys are younger. Let or whatever. No, you kind of grow. Whatever Sebastian is. You're right. You guys are younger. Let me get your take on this. Can a 50-year-old grown man pull off wearing Air Jordans?

When do you see a guy going, really? Air Jordans? Aren't you a little old for that? Yeah. So I was late 20s, early 30s. When I got a little bit of money for the first time, I went on a spree. And I got all the shoes I never could get and all the shoes I loved when I was a kid. And I wore them for a little while. And by late early 30s to mid 30s, I was like, I don't think I can.

So you're saying mid 30s. So I don't think I can. You can't. So you're saying mid-30s. So I don't think 50. I wouldn't. Also, I think you, you, are we talking about you? Because I feel like it's a different thing when it's like you have, you're a famous person,

you're a celebrity, you have a look, you have an outfit that goes with it. I feel like it's a little different when it's like you're just regular dad showing up to like regular stuff and you have your I don't know.

Do you like it? Do you want to do it? I have a pair of Air Jordans. Which ones? The first one. Okay. And they're black and red but they're shiny. Someone gave it to me. They're a nice shoe. But if I came walking through that door

with those shoes on i would have to think in your head you would go no no no no i wouldn't i wouldn't know who does he think sebastian to be clear you're asking a man in a mesh sweater vest So you've come to the right place, good sir. Dude, you're also asking a man who, that right there, I wore that to a wedding once. Wow. That was one of the worst looks of my life. I left my, I forgot my suit. We landed and we had to go right to the wedding, so I stopped off at a fucking Walmart and had that. And I think the shoes are there, like a pair of like $10.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, right down there. So we're not exactly, you know, maybe you shouldn't be asking us. But I think looking at what you have put together here, if you did that and not a stylist, I bet you can style some Jordans too. I bet you can put it. Yeah, I'm just a custom shoe that there's a custom sneaker creator named Mosh who's like the best custom guy in the game.

And these are like an airbrush pair. This is one of the acronyms for our – this is the Jordan 1. I mean the Jordan 1 is like a classic timeless sneaker. If you came in, there's a couple different numbers of Jordans that if you were like, you know, I was going to be wearing that one, I'd be like, I don't know about that. This is – This is. This is a standard. You can wear the Jordan 1 forever.

For sure. And yeah, like I said, if you, like you're putting it on for a look, you're doing an appearance, you're at a party, whatever it is, I think you can pull it off. I'm going to do the next time I do an interview or whatnot or a TV appearance, I'm going to throw a pair of Air Jordans on. Yeah. And I just want your opinion on the look when I come out. Let's say I do Kimmel.

I come out in Air Jordans. I want you guys to see it and comment. Okay. You're describing my dream job. Yeah. I'd love it. Yeah. We will, like, you let us know or we'll just watch all your appearances coming up.

I'll let you know. I'm wearing the Jordans. What do you think? And then you let me know. Because I got them. I just don't know if I've reached an age now where it's a little like, okay, you're a dad. You have a six-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son. Let's.

Listen, there's going to be some people who say that for sure same thing about if you wear a hat you know some of these things people make fun of people wearing hoodies some of these things

yeah a typical 50 year old probably not you're not a typical 50 year old I'm gonna tell you right now I don't have to see

the Kimmel thing I'm gonna I'm gonna hype you up dude I'm just looking for a hype guy yeah that's what dude go out there again you know what it's like the audition go out there with the confidence that's it if you walk out there going like i gotta hide my shoes so nobody sees

it on the couch you should fucking put your feet up and be like look at these bad boys i almost positive i know the sneakers you're talking about too like which ones they're like you know in the sneaker community people are like fuck yeah those are the ones you know it's not like you're talking about two, like which ones? They're like, you know, in the sneaker community, people are like, fuck yeah, those are the ones, you know? It's not like you're wearing a bad pair or a lame pair. Yeah. I think the ones I have are almost like the tuxedo shoe for sneakers. Yeah, I know the sneaker you're talking about. Yeah, like they were, I have the pair.

They were a very coveted pair. People got them, love them. I'm sure you'll dress them up right they are the the the cadillac if you will they're the classy pair i think you guys renewed my confidence let's go yeah in the inner jordan apparel that i that i have i think i i wouldn't wear it with a suit do what you want to do i but i think look at you're very stylish gentlemen you're gonna it's just it's just all black here in a jacket. That's the whole trick.

I know. Every time we go on stage, I think we switched up recently, but for the first many times we went on stage, we'd both come out of our hotel rooms all black. Okay, we look like the waiters tonight. It's like, I don't know. I'm not going to look fat, and it's not too risky of a choice. So, you know, we're all good.

You're always in a jacket, though. I like on stage doing, especially the way you do your comedy, don't you get hot? The reason I was wearing jackets because I have a condition called hyperhidrosis, which is an anxiety where you sweat. Some people sweat from their palms. I sweat from my armpits. So I used to go through this too. Okay. I got Botox and then I did MiraDry. You ever do that? No, I've heard about it.

Does it work better than Botox? Absolutely. I used to get Botox like three times a year. I did MiraDry 10 years ago. Gone. So you no longer sweat out of your armpits? No longer sweat out of my armpits. I mean, there's like...

I used to have... I'd be sitting here. Everything else is cool. Pit stains. Never again. Never again. It was the best thing I've ever done. I remember when I used to sweat, there was always the struggle of should I try to dress cool,

like light cool, like air air cool and not try to sweat or just accept the fact that i'm gonna sweat put on a jacket be even hotter but i'll cover it up yeah i don't even think you i would sweat even when it was cool yeah if i had to go on stage in a t-shirt it just it just it's the nerves right nerves yeah so that's what i'm like all right start wearing jackets. And then it kind of stuck. And when you wear a jacket and when you're as physical as I am, there's a lot to be said that the jacket kind of moves around and it looks more movement than it actually is. So there is a bit of science behind it for me.

But then I just started, oh, you know, different jackets are good. Some people wear different shoes. Yeah, jackets are easy. I wear different jackets. Some people wear different shoes. Yeah, jackets. I wear different jackets. Yeah, I like that. I'm telling you, man, mirror dry. Mirror dry. Is that a roll-on they do?

Is it a laser? What is it? It's like this. It looks almost like a hair blow dryer, hair dryer, but rectangular instead of round. And they, like, put it on, and it goes like beep, and then they move it to another side, beep, and it burns a little bit. It's hot, but it's generally not painful, and I think it kills the sweat gland or something like that.

It's unbelievable. Propecia, mirror dry. What else are you on about? Anything to stop me from looking like I'm a bag of bones. We just did a reality TV show that's airing. We did our own version of Survivor where we lived in this office and competed in games, stayed in the office 24 hours a day. Something else I feel like you would probably fucking hate.

But it's like my boss and all of us did it. So it's like probably the most viewed thing we're ever going to do. I show up. I wanted to get my hair cut. Couldn't get an appointment with the girl who cuts my hair. So I come in with a terribly long haircut. I had a stye in my eye

that made me look like Quasimodo. And I was playing with my son with this little thing right here. Just goofing around with my son. And I popped this on my forehead for one second. Pulled it off. And I had a big hickey on my forehead. For the show?

Yeah, so for this whole show, I just am the ugliest I've ever been, ever, on camera for the most viewers we've ever had. So is this on? Is this airing? Yeah, it's three. I mean, we're plugging our own shit onto him now. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday of this week, next week, and the following week. Oh, cool.

It's very entertaining if you want to kill some time. I actually don't really like reality TV, and I'm watching it back because we talk about it on our radio show, and I'm like, this is pretty good. We'll watch your Kimmel appearance or whatever appearance you watch our show. We'll trade.

We'll trade a watch. I love it, bro. Well, Bookie, I'm sure, is going to be just as good as anything else. Well, before you go, so the stand-up world, I feel like you were grinding forever. Yeah. And do you now consider – because when we do all these interviews with all the other guys, Bert and Segura and the whole circuit, they always talk about Sebastian and like like, you were in the mix with all those guys. And I just, I feel like it's a funny mix sometimes.

Because you... So, yeah, I feel like it's like graduating classes. You come in, you got your guys that are at the comedy club, and then you kind of grow up together, right? So it was me, Bert Kreischerischer, this guy Brett Ernst, Butch Bradley, Steve Byrne. We all used to play baseball together. We called it Home Run Derby. We used to go to this park in L.A. on a Tuesday because, you know,

nobody was working on a Tuesday. And we used to hit, you know hit baseballs out of the park. And I used to show up all black, black batting glove. I looked the part, but I suck. I'm one of those guys. If we're going to play basketball. Batting gloves to home run derby? What?

Batting gloves to home run derby? A batting glove. It's a little funny. It's a little funny. Were you wearing cleats and stuff? The whole thing. Everybody had cleats. This was at a baseball field.

Just to play with a few buddies? Yeah. That's a little wacky. To come dressed as a baseball player? A little bit, right? That's like, you know, let's go play football in the backyard. You go with a helmet and pants and everything. It's like, we're just fucking around, you know, let's go play football in the backyard. You go with a helmet and pants and everything. It's like we're just fucking around, you know?

I felt like if I looked the part, right, that I would play good. Yeah, that's the way I felt. So now that you mention it, bro, maybe it was a little strange. Those guys are probably like, there's Sebastian again. He's got the stirrup socks and the eye black on, brings a helmet and batting gloves. Get out of the field.

Yeah. I don't know. I felt like he had a, I don't know. But yeah, we used to do that. I mean, you know,

now everybody goes their own way and, you know, we rarely see each other anymore. But yeah, comedians are fun guys

to hang out with. It's just unfortunate that I don't see those guys as much as I want to just because we're all kind of got our own lives, kids, and work and whatnot. But some of those days I look back and I go, my God, here's two idiots, you know, 30 years old playing baseball like we were, you know, 12. And now, you know know selling out arenas and doing movies and it's like

yeah it's crazy things have come up so alright brother if you got a quick 10 minutes to do a video for us yeah

but the movie Bookie Bookie's out on HBO Max yeah tomorrow and then the It Ain't Right Tour tickets on sale now

so I appreciate you guys having me on thank you so much man you're welcome the It Ain't Right tour. Tickets on sale now. So I appreciate you guys having me on. You're amazing. Thank you so much, man. You're welcome. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.