KFC Radio - Feits Tests the Kidnapping Duct Tape Myth Ft. Johnny Bananas

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

- We bring Glenny in to abologize for accidentally making him look "weird h*rny" in his video squeezing Sky Bri's tits - KFC had a thrilling drive to work this morning - Tom Brady and Giselle might be one of the most iconic couples to break up - Would you have a threesome with your cousin? - White women have absolutely gone too far this time - Gender reveal dyed a whole waterfall - the Newest member of the NBA G League is Ho You Fat - AITA / Duct Taping Feits - Video Voicemails - d*** and balls or butthole shrink? - athlete with most air time - Dahmer vs Bundy - Johnny Bananas interview on the infamous money grab where he kept $275k all to himself, possible love interests on the new season of The Challenge, drinking beer out of Big Cat's tits and much more +++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Glenny on Sky Bri video 16:29 - KFC thrilling ride to work 24:55 - Tom Brady and Gisele divorce 40:06 - Would you have a threesome with your cousin? 45:28 - white women babies / gender reveal 58:12 - New member of NBA G League Ho You Fat 01:00:59 - AITA/ duct taping feits 01:21:55 - Video Voicemails 01;36;15;12 - Johnny Bananas Interview +++++++++++++++++++++ Curve: Sign up at https://barstool.link/CurveBSS to receive $20 in Curve Cash. Terms and Conditions Apply. Mugsy Jeans: Use code “KFC” for 10% off sitewide at https://barstool.link/Mugsy Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/ROMANkfc to get 20% off your first order of swipes Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping with code KFC at https://barstool.link/ManscapedBSSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Oh my god! It's way worse than I thought! It's way, 360, it's way worse than I thought! Are you ready for this? It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network, New York. We are back live at Caroline's, our home base where we've always performed here. And I'll be honest, New York, you're spoiled because we've done so many live shows here because we're lazy. And so I know a lot of you guys have come to a lot of our shows already.

We're going to need the chicken heads to show out. The show is in two weeks. We need to move some tickets. We've got to make sure that's a sellout. We have like special people coming. We'd like to impress them, please. We have some major plans, hopefully, for the future that involve much more than just KFC Radio

that we need to prove some things to advertisers and we need to prove some things in the world of comedy and whatnot. And so this show back here in New York at Caroline's, home base, hometown, with a lot of important eyeballs. We need to make sure it's a sellout. We need to make sure it's a rowdy crowd. DC, I love you, but you guys were like, oh, that was a quiet crowd, man. I actually talked to some people in DC, and they were like,, they said it's not like they weren't surprised by that. That DC is a very,

I didn't think it was that quiet. Really? Oh, I thought like we, I thought our, our, our, our,

our, our, our, our, our, our, I also think they weren't, uh,

drunk. Usually our crowds are drunk. So that's the other thing. If you are, come get shit faced. So get your tickets to, uh, to Caroline's live,

um, October 18th, 19th, 18th, 19th, 19th. Soth? 19th? 19th. So head over to any of the KFC Radio social, click our link, and get our tickets, and we'll put on a fucking show for you.

Just for... Oh, let's just tell this story. We didn't really talk about DC, like what we did on the show, did we? I don't think so. So we try to show things. Well, we did Jackie. Right, right, right. We did Glennie, though, right?

Oh, no. Glennie we did so dirty on accident. Is Glennie here? Let me text him and see if he's here. I would like to see his reaction to this. You know, we're always... It was funny. We played a video from Frankie. Let's play the video from Frankie here.

Because that was funnier than it played in the live show. I don't know if people couldn't hear or if you and I just find Frankie so much funnier. But the crowd thought it was funny, but it was hilarious. Frankie sent in a video. Oh, my God. He is a little pervert, that little freak. And so we try to play videos from other people and celebrities and stuff.

Sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn't. But one thing we also do is try to show the stuff that we're not allowed to show on YouTube. So a lot of stuff that we have to cut from the podcast for, like, you know, social reasons or political reasons. And then also, like, the rules of social media platforms. So Glennie has been doing only stands and has had all these fucking smoke shows come through, showing their tits off and getting naked and stuff. So the other day, Glennie had Sky Bree. Sky Bree, if you don't know her, is like the next big porn star. Like beautiful girl.

Like should be in Hollywood, not porn. Yeah, you're kind of girl? My kind of girl. I don't think you get to claim Sky Bree as your kinda girl. Just tatted up, fucking nip rings. She's tatted up.

She's got a good amount of tattoos. She's not like inked. She's not. She's got more than you. She's got like a sleeve. No, no, no. But she's got, she almost has like

my kinda tattoos where it's like she's little things. Spread all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She is a fucking nip ring. Weapon.

Come on. What do you think of her, Jackie? Yeah, she is. She's pretty. Yeah. What do you think of her, Jackie? Yeah, she's pretty. And just happened. I mean, she has like, let's call it, I would honestly say maybe the best tits of all time. It's like her and Daddario. They're unbelievable. Yeah, she's an attractive young lady.

She's on Only Stands with Glennie, and she says, do you want to see my tits? Glennard, come join us for the show. We got a story to tell you. It's a little bit messy here. Sorry. Glad it was cracking, brother. So we did you a little bit dirty in D.C., but unknowingly. What'd you do?

It's a very funny story. What'd you do? Why? Why? Why'd you do it? So when we do our live shows, we try to show things that we can't show on the podcast. Because, you know, that's the point of it. So we always try to promote all of our guys. So we wanted to show love for OnlyStans.

Appreciate that. SkyBree was in. Best hits in the game, right? Glennie's eyes just rolled out of his head. Actually, I figured out today I'm going to LA next week. We're doing round two with SkyBree. I'm very excited. We love SkyBree.

We are huge Skybree fans. Glenn, are you fucking these girls? What? Are you fucking these girls? No. You think I wouldn't tell you if I fucked Skybree? Trust me. You'll be one of the first texts if I happen to fuck Skybree.

I'll let you know. My man. My man. I like that. So we wanted to show the video of Sky Bree and the one you sent me and the one that's on your OnlyFans. Go to OnlyStans on OnlyFans. OnlyFans.com slash OnlyStansShow. We're posting our guest's nude there.

So check it out. What a gentleman. We're posting our guest's nude. Tasteful nudes. So I wanted to show the video of you, you know, that infamous tit grab. What? Oh, we got it? Okay.

So let me just – does it play out? Like you understand? Okay. Okay. So here's what happened because the audio didn't quite work as we intended, Glennie. You don't have to. So the audio It was a bad

It was a bad No it's not even The grab that's not a bad The problem is that In the audio You hear her be like Go ahead squeeze him Squeeze him

Something happened With our audio Where like It didn't play The original track Of you guys talking So it's just like A song in the background

And you just go like So you made it seem like I was a fucking groper Was so funny the way she was like what I love most about only stands is you are such a gentleman I was like, I don't want to look. Okay, I'll look. I don't want to touch, but okay if you want me to. You can't be the weird guy. Sure. No, no.

Not the weird guy. One of the main things I found that always stands on, if I were to make a 10 commandments, one of the commandments would be, there's two hoardies. There's fun hoardie and there's weird hoardie. You don't want to be weird hoardie. You don't want to be weird hoardie. You want to be fun hoardie. That's one commandment. That is the only commandment, bro. Don't be weird horny. Yes. You don't want to be weird horny. You don't want to be weird horny. Bro, that's the best fucking message. You want to be fun horny. That's one command.

Fun horny is great. That is the only commandment, bro. Don't be weird horny. Don't be weird horny. Don't be the weird horny guy. That's good for if you're doing an OnlyFans podcast. That's good for if you're a regular guy at the bar. You got to respect our queens.

Absolutely. Don't be weird horny. Be fun horny. Fun horny. Fun horny. Just kind of like, yeah, I'll grab your tits. Yeah, you want to get a grab? I'll grab your tits.

But when that didn't play, because you just kind of are both like it was a bad grab my left is my dominant head yeah it's an awkward feel and like you're you're you know what do you lift you to honk to you yeah rub you know you can't you can't go to sensual with that grab otherwise you look like weird horny I can't go kind of look at it I can't You can't go too sensual with that grab. Otherwise, you look like weird horny. I also feel like you can't look at a tit while you're grabbing it, you know? Oh, you didn't look it in the eye? No. They're also like the nicest tits.

They're insane. They're ridiculous tits. You're touching like an artifact or something. It's like you're touching. A statue. You need the white gloves. You're touching like the Constitution. Yes, the Stanley Cup.

Like they're natural. She is. Yeah, she's unbelievable. Bro, how about you abandoning the ball scale in the greatest moment of your life? Are you thinking about the ball scale when Sky Breeze fucking tits her out? And how come you don't go 10.0 on that, man? I mean, those are 10.0 tits. Nah, I like that.

You said 9. something, right? 9.6. 9.6. Like Dave says, you can never give a perfect score, but that's the closest I've seen a perfect score. I think you can give those hits a perfect score. They're natural. She's a queen. I think you can give Daddario

and her get a 10.0, I think. You think Daddario is that good? I think her nipples are a little... I defer to the king. Did you grab a little nip or did you just go straight boob with this guy? Spilled around with her nipple? Of course not.

That's weird hoarding. That is weird hoarding. That's weird hoarding. You're right. You're right. If you went a little that would be so weird. She did actually,

if you watch the full clip, I don't know if it was in the clip I sent you, she does like turn, take him out, and like get him off. Play with him a little bit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, she was adding my nipple part. Well guess what? If I do that with my dick, weird hoarding. It's super weird. If I help God to my dick before I show it to a girl, I go to jail. But listen, like I just said, the, yeah. Oh, she was adding my nipple part. Well, guess what? If I do that with my dick, weird warning. It's super weird. If I help God to my dick before I show it to a girl, I go to jail.

But listen, like I just said, the best part of it, I may be doing it next week in L.A. Maybe we'll get another feel. Maybe we get a little erny-ery. No, I'm not going to do it. What if she says, give me that erny-ery? Then you've got to do it. Then you're not being a gentleman. Then you're not respecting the queen. Then you're not respecting what she wants.

She's like, I want my nipple. I'm not going to lie what Sky Bree says, guys. Yeah. That's the rule. She's the girl. You she wants. She's like, I want my name to be. I'm not going to lie what Sky Bree says, guys. Yeah. That's the rule. She's the girl. You a little congested? A little stuffed up? A little bit.

It's that time of year. Got a little bit of that voice. I drank last night. We were in Philly for the thing, for the dozen tournament. Oh, yeah. Did you guys stay in Philly or did you come back last night? I stayed, so I had to host the after party. Oh.

So we originally go to LA for Sunday Conversation this morning. Which is killing, by the way. And it got canceled. We moved it to next Monday. So I already said I was hosting this thing. So I was like, fuck it. I'll just stay and host it. Why not?

So it'll be a fun time. There was more people there than I thought there'd be. Who's been your favorite Sunday Conversation guest recently? Because it's been a run. I mean, I know he said it on Theo's podcast. Aaron Rodgers was truly. He was so good. Truly.

Even funnier video, but like truly. Literally, he's the coolest guy in the world. Glad he just showed us his lock phone. He was the coolest person. He gave it right back. Caleb, when he said it on the AOS podcast last week, he was the coolest person I've ever been around. It was like being around Frank Sinatra.

It was like Frank Sinatra level cool. I found him to be such an asshole this past year. Did he have the same hair he had in the game on Sunday? What was that about? No, no, no. He did not. What was that? He had long, slick back hair.

I thought so. I thought so. What was that? I've never seen that before. That was very funny. It's like a zigzag mullet or something, right? I mean, Najee Harris is really funny. I thought Najee Harris was really funny.

Najee Harris is funny. The whole rumor thing started. So funny. Going in a circle was very funny. Ric Flair was like, I don't think he knew what we were doing. No. Ric Flair's brain is. Ric Flair is very funny.

He walks in. I've been told this before because he's a Tampa guy and I'm friends with Tampa. He was like, yeah, his two managers are just two hot chicks. Two hot 25-year-olds. But he walks in with these two girls and he's sitting there doing it. And as we take a break or something, the girl's like, Ric, have fun. Have fun. And he just didn't get it.

Yeah. He's stupid... I refused. Who was, like, right before that? There was one... Maybe it was Aaron Rodgers. We did Rodgers, Ric Flair, Najee Harris. Yeah, no, it was Rodgers. I mean, Caleb was on his game,

and then Aaron was... That was... The Rodgers one was, like, whenever I want to show someone, like, what Sunday conversation is. Yeah, that's the one. He's... That might top Kodak Black.

I don't know if it does or not. It's close. To me, it top Kodak Black. I don't know if it does or not. It's close. To me, it's Kodak, Aaron Rodgers, and Hasbulla are like the gold, silver medal in whatever order you want to get. I think the funniest part, oh, Leverking also.

I don't like Leverking. You know what I was saying about, you know what I was saying about, though, that we cut because I guess they didn't translate the video, which I said it wouldn't. So we're there that day, and Caleb's like,

what's a funny... I feel so bad for Glennie. Those voices are just... Sorry, sorry. And Caleb's like, what's a funny... I feel so bad for Glennie. His voice is just... Sorry, sorry. And Caleb's like, what's a funny app we could ask him about? Because this whole thing,

he doesn't use his phone. He's a primal. Sure, okay. So we're like, okay, how about Candy Crush? So we take out our phones and show him Candy Crush, and we're like,

you know what this is? And you could just tell on his face that he fucking loves Candy Crush. But he couldn't say that he loves Candy Crush. He was blushing. He was like,

I don't know what that is. I don't know. I've never seen it before in my life. I don't even know what Candy Crush is. And we were both just like, dude, it's very blatant you like Candy Crush. You can just say you like Candy Crush. And it was so funny, but I knew it wasn't a transitive video. Wouldn't that be hilarious?

Like one day somebody catches fucking Liver King playing Candy Crush on his phone and his whole empire crumbles. Like, he's a fraud. He's a phony. I'm surprised his whole empire didn't crumble when he came in here, took a picture with PFT, and PFT was towering over him. Yeah, he's a tiny one. I felt bad because I posted a picture of me and him, and I'm taller than him, and I'm not a whole empire didn't crumble when he came in here to get a picture with PFT and PFT was towering over him Yeah, he's a tiny one. I posted a picture of me and him and I'm taller than him and I'm not a tall person Yeah, he's tiny

Really all the comments were how short he was I was like he's gonna fucking kill me bro I saw I think was on the part of my take maybe was more so like it was someone free but I commented like Liver King committed to the bit 5-3 just like our ancestors And people were committed to the bit 5-3 just like our ancestors. That's a great tweet. And people were furious at me. People were insulting my family. He has fans like that? Yo, it was a lot. If you are a fan of the Liver King to the point that you defend him on the internet,

you're a fucking loser. I'll say it to whoever. You're a pribel. You're a pribel. Oh, my God. And also my favorite. I'm happy he went on your show and shit. I'll say to whoever, whatever. You're a primal. You're a primal. Oh my God. And also like my favorite. I'm happy he went on your show and shit.

I hate, that guy sucks. Yeah, it was funny. My favorite moment probably from this year so far was just because being with Caleb that whole week,

when he drinks, I don't know why, he just says, he calls everybody a stud. So the way he called Aaron Rodgers a stud, no, Caleb.

The way he called Aaron Rodgers a stud, I can hear him saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Rodgers was like, you have a 13 year old mustache, he was like, a 13 year old with I can hear him saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Rodgers was like, you have a 13-year-old's mustache, he was like, a 13-year-old with a mustache

is stunned. Just hear what he said. We were so fucking funny. For some reason, I can picture exactly that scene. Exactly. He's like, he's stunned.

Like, this guy's the, I could like, I'd sit there like, this is the funniest person on the planet. Straight up. I'm so confident in saying

he's the funniest person in life. It's a, that series is a fucking it's an unbelievable one alright Glenn well sorry we did you dirty there's about 300 people in DC

who think that you are a titty groper if any of you were watching this it was out of respect it was fun horny it was fun horny it was fun horny and hopefully we get

round two next week maybe make a t-shirt that says happy horny with a box that's checked and like weird horny that's a box that's not checked maybe I want to start maybe going to bars and handing out like greenshirt that says Happy horny With a box that's checked And like weird horny That's a box that's not checked Maybe I want to start

Maybe going to bars And handing out like green Green beads of your fun horny And red beads of your weird horny Yeah like Like Brazilian steakhouse With the red I said I want to do that

At weddings When I get married I'm doing that at weddings Happy horny and weird horny No just like Green is single Red is taken Oh okay

Because it's weird You ever go to a wedding And you don't know who's who And you know who you can fucking Yeah yeah It's a good idea When you and Sky get married We'll do that Yeah it's weird. You ever go to a wedding and you don't know who's who and you don't know who you can fucking... Yeah, yeah. It's a good idea. When you and Sky

get married, we'll do that. Yeah, it's gonna be great. See you guys later. All right. Thanks, buddy. You just birded that. What?

You just immediately flipped Fun Horny to Happy Horny. Yeah. I did. I'm getting fucking mush brain myself. So, anyway,

that's the kind of shit you'll get live at KC Radio Live. So get your tickets. Today's episode is brought to you by Mugsy Jeans. You got your jacket? I don't have my jacket. It's raining today.

It's raining. It's been raining for a week straight. It's amazing. I love it. Tommy said something like, you know, do you think we'll ever see the sun again? I was like, I hope not. Fuck, dude. This is the best.

This is big time cry season. If the sun fucking exploded today, I would be happy. The best. By the way, I'm going to wait until she's in here to say it. Who, Keeks? No, Colleen. Oh, okay. So we got a new Muggsy jeans, jean jacket out, sad boy season.

Denim has arrived. It is perfect for this season. It is. And people have been tweeting me like, it's incredibly comfortable, which it truly is. It's the classic stretch fabric, stretch denim. It is sharp it is sexy it is i i actually kind of like when i when we were making it i was like yeah it's a jean jacket it's dope but it is particularly cool but it is also standard enough that it's it's a state

it can do it can do like you can do it both ways you can be like a fucking you know dad of two in the suburbs and wear this jacket it's like the line line I always say where you want to be able to look normal enough but always have something that says fuck you. He's got the jean jacket which is normal enough. The buttons have your little fuck you to you. And the little white leather patch. The tan leather patch.

The whole look is sharp and it's all made from the denim that Fights already talked about where you can get that in your jeans as well. Perfect for your boy over here, like double XL in the ass, but normal-sized calves and shit. I need my jeans to stretch in all the right places, so Muggsy jeans is a solid go-to for me.

Right now you can get 10% off at Mugsy.com. Whether you're buying the jeans, whether you're buying the sad boy jean jacket, they have flannels, they got it all. When you go to Mugsy.com and use code KFC, that's 10% off the whole site. Mugsy. Life changing comfort. I had one of the

best experiences of my life, one of the weirdest experiences of my life on the road today. I wish I could relive this moment every single day of my life i it's it's a one in a zillion chance that this happened i i did almost do it i almost just drove around multiple times i was driving into work today if you're in new york and from new york i was um where was i i guess i was like getting on to uh theegan, I guess. And there was this guy on the side of the road on an on-ramp. It's like a curving on-ramp. And he was sitting there with an umbrella and almost like a scuba suit. It looked like he was like, he had a hat on and

something covering his, not like a COVID mask, like a ski mask almost, covering up his face. And he had on like a rain jacket and pants. And he was standing right next to a gigantic puddle on the road. And he was just holding his phone. And it's already raining out anyway, so he's already wet. He's standing next to a puddle, and he's holding out his phone filming. And I watch a car, I watch the car in front of me, and I was like, he's going to get fucking hit with a wave and he did and then my car was next and i see him filming and i was like i

think this guy wants to get hit so the first time i went around i kind of tried to go left and go around the puddle but you really couldn't get around it there was a deeper part and a less deep part but there was no like no puddle, um, unless you went like to the shoulder, the breakdown lane. Um, so I see that he was filming it and I'm like, I think this guy, I don't know if he's filming a movie or what,

but he wants this footage. So I get off the exit and go back around again. And this time I'm filming as well. And I lean into the middle of the puddle. And I mean, I engulfed this guy with the tidal wave. If you look on the fucking video, it goes from you can see him to the next frame, gone. Like, just completely covered in water.

I don't know. And then after I did it, I keep filming him, and he just continued to stand there. Look at this. It's like he's there, and then he's gone. He also had in front of him, which is like I think the proof positive. I don't think anyone's even really questioning whether he wanted it or not. He wanted it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He saw the way he was dressed. He was asking for it. I didn't realize. I thought it was a sign. But then you pointed out that he said it was like a plastic thing, right? Yeah, it looks like one of those things they kept in front of the gas station attendants during COVID. Right. It looks like. Okay, see, I thought front of the gas station attendants during COVID. Right. See, I thought that was a sign at first.

So then he's 100% I mean, I was 99.9% sure he was filming, but with the plastic he wants to see the water smash, but not necessarily take the whole hit. I thought he got the umbrella over him. Well, let me tell you something. I'm sure a lot hit the plastic.

A lot hit my boy, too uh he got absolutely creamed right yeah that's plastic and he has like a a shipping container almost in front of him like a table as like a table so a lot was going on so he like set up shop he wasn't like a homeless guy standing on the side of the road that i was just like, but I like the taste of the good life. You piece of shit. Get a job. I still it was one of those things like I knew exactly what I was doing. I was doing it for content.

I knew he was there, but I still was like, if I'm wrong on this one, this is a go to hell worth. Yeah. I mean, I turn and I went into the big puddle. I like to hit puddles, too. I usually do it when my kids are in the car and they fucking love it so in general even when they're not in the car i'm always hitting puddles i'm gonna hydroplane to my death for sure one day but i hit this and it was just a perfect like i mean like a wave you could have like surfed on this thing and it's one of those things where it's like uh you know when we would like blog

a terrible story but nobody died in the end and we were like so like we're off the hook yeah it's one of those things where it's like, you know when we would blog a terrible story, but nobody died in the end, and we were like, oh, so we're off the hook. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you get to do this awful thing to somebody, but they wanted it. It's like, well, you know, there are other examples of that, right? People asking for weird things, and you get, you know, it's like, all right. Sure, I'll choke the life out of you. It was awesome.

It was so good I actually am mad at myself I think I should have done it like 10 times I think I should have just kept going and just see like

how wet see if he recognized it was the same car every time right like one time let's not celebrate it bro but now I'm hoping

and I don't want to be too cocky about it but we've seen things like this happen before. Barstool is usually big enough that when we post about some of these things, it usually gets back to them. So I'm hoping that there's somebody out there

who's friends with a guy who was like, yo, yeah, we got to make that video for film school. I'm going to go out on the side of the road and film the splash that we need for that final scene and put it together because if we have a video of me and him and it cuts back and forth oh my god it would be

great so if you are the wave the puddle filmer or the wave watcher if you are the wave watcher or you know the wave watcher please holler at me get me that footage we'll make internet magic Pabst will whip up some shit where it's like a fucking, like a movie building to the final scene.

I wonder, too, like it would be great if he was like, oh, come on, asshole. Like, really? Like, you know. Awesome moment, though. Just, I mean, that'll never happen again. No. Unless that guy needs, like, more footage. Maybe it'll happen, like, tomorrow.

But nobody else will ever do that again. I actually venture to say I'm the only person. Do you think I'm the only person alive who's ever done that done what this just whole thing like filmed it while filming yeah I mean obviously

other people fucking just hit this guy right now but like knowing what's happening yeah but also not being like if I was the guy filming and I said go get your car

and hit me like obviously but like I was just a random guy like that is it's so incredibly unique it's it's a great one yeah that's a good i'll tell that like cocktail stories for the rest of my life you know just like nobody nobody else has that like oh yeah me too no one's gonna be like

shut up i did that once no you didn't we've all done that yeah come on um so yeah just just perfect i need to give a quick shout out to colleen. Colleen pulled the biggest bro move of all time today. Really? Colleen's like the newest member of the team. Let's just say that. I'm going to make it happen. We were, I was walking. Colleen and I live next to each other.

Oh, wow. We learned this morning. How next to each other are we talking? Like a block and a half, two blocks probably. And we linked up like 12 blocks from work probably and just like ended up on the same corner. And you both just – And Colleen went, this is too close, too far from work.

And then she started walking. And I was like, that's a gangster move. She just dusted you? That's amazing. She started walking fast and I crossed the street and I was just like – Oh, she's so fit for this. You got to work here, Colleen. We got to make it full time.

This is too close. This is too far from the office. I mean, that would be... You're right, you're right. 12 blocks is like a solid, like, you know, like what, like eight minutes of walking?

At least. Ten minutes of walking. You walk fast. Yeah. Well, she's like a fucking marathon runner. She probably does walk fast. That is... That's...

Yeah. That might be... I called my mom. I was like, the coolest thing, yeah, that might be. I called my mom. I was like, the coolest thing to say. That might be the new way that we should vet people. Would you walk with me the whole time? No, not even ask them. Set it up.

Like if you're a new member of the KC Radio team, we like stalk you and find you on a corner, and we come up alongside you and we see how you react. If you start walking, be like, so how's your mom? You're fucking done. Guess what? I was already taking my headphones out. I was like, ready to go? John's like, I got to commit to 10 minutes of small talk.

That's amazing. Close to each other, we're like, I had to say hi. But then I always try to be like, oh, yeah, no. No. Yeah. Oh, well, the worst is if you do make, like Pav saw me the other day, but I didn't see him, but he just dipped. So you have to do the hello.

But if there's eye contact, you have to at least say hello, because then you're both pretty fucking weird if you both just act like it never happened. That's a little strange, too. That's a great move. Well done, Colleen. That makes me like you even more. That's the first guy I said when I came in. I was like, I like Colleen before.

I like Colleen a lot now. All of the work was great, but it's like, that's even better. We got Johnny Bananas on the show today. He's back after he won his fucking sixth, I think, maybe sixth or seventh title because he was doing, like, the Tom Brady Jordan memes for the challenge. I thought he was done. I thought he was going to ride off into the sunset with the all-time greats. He did not. He, I thought he was done. I thought he was going to ride off into the sunset with the all time greats. Um,

uh, he, he did not, he came back. So he'll be on the show as did Tom Brady. Uh, it's a wrap for Boston's not officially. Okay.

Not officially, but do you feel like, does this make, does this make you sad? Like, are you connected to them as a couple? The way like some, no,

I wouldn't say I'm, I'm, I, I, yeah. I mean like sad is, I don't know. Like I'm like, I'm like the Hulk. We're like, I don't have to i i yeah i mean like sad is i don't know like i'm like i'm like the hulk we're like i don't have to get sad i'm always sad yeah um but the uh like uh i i

don't i really don't know like i don't i don't think sadness is the right word for it it's kind of like well i think it'd be different if tom was still in new england yeah like it was still but i also think what happens in these situations... I'm trying to think... There's no equal in sports, right? There's no other, like, power couple like that? No. Fuck no. Fuck no.

But is there even... Bro, I mean, is there even another... There are two people who are at the top of their humongous industry. I know, but is there even another couple that you know, that's, like, publicly known in sports? Serena and whatever his name is? Serena and the Reddit guy? Maybe. I was just thinking Fuck

Lala Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union that's a good one I was thinking about Carmelo and Lala when they were together Where you like Rep for them you ship them as they say But it's only because of Like your guy on your team

And like the minute that they break up it it's like, oh, I don't really give a fuck about Giselle. Also, to be honest, Giselle was never really that involved. She wasn't that public a figure. She'd post on social media, but she had already left.

I don't want to put it out in the universe, but Camille and Gronk are a couple that everybody knows, and Camille's part of the team, cheerleading. She's filming, all that shit. I think people would be sad if she was no longer a part of that. I mean, now he left the Patriots, but you know what I'm saying. Giselle was always just in the background. I have a few thoughts on this because I definitely think it was because of the unretiring.

I think that there was probably some sort of agreement, and I don't think it was just like this is his first unretirement, but probably not in a personal sense. This is probably like the fourth time that he was like, I'll probably retire at the end of this year, and then didn't at all. They've been joking about it forever. Giselle's been on Ellen being like, I tell Tom, I don't want you playing anymore. Brady's been like, yeah, she wants me to retire.

And he probably said it the same way that, like, you got to just think on their level, it's like, I'll paint the garage next weekend, honey. You know? And his is like, I'll stop playing professional football. You know? So, and now this is the first one that was, like, public and we know it. And I think that there's definitely some level of like fuck like no like we had an agreement in place my thing is like i said it yesterday on one minute man so i'm guilty of it too but like there's this idea that like giselle hasn't been doing her job which is

completely false she quit she quit crazy no not to quit fashion she quit modeling it's crazy but she's been she's been working yeah just put out a book or something. But she retired from modeling. I don't doubt. She's 45 years old or whatever she is. I don't doubt that there's like. But she's 40, I think. Or maybe, yeah, she's 40, I think.

I don't doubt that there's like some things that, you know, maybe she couldn't do because she was at home and Tom wasn't. But like these people, they're probably a combined worth like three four five hundred million dollars they don't raise their kids like neither of them do get the fuck out of here you both go do your jobs and you have like a team of people to

take care of your kids I think they raise their kids because I mean I'm exaggerating but it's like famous people and athletes and shit like when mom has to go to fucking you know Milan to walk the fucking – I mean I have friends who are regular ass people. Their kids go to daycare because they have to work. Right.

I mean, yeah. Yeah, right. Like I do it on a fucking poor person level where it's like I'm not around. She's not around. You're with the kid. You're with the nanny tonight. You don't think Tom and Giselle are doing that? So I think that was – I think it was probably more like the idea of like,

you told me you were going to do it and like you're not. I read a source, all these things are such bullshit and I feel like such an asshole even talking about it having gone through it myself. I was going to say,

this is like kind of the first like divorce I've, that has been, people have attributed to, not attributed, but like connected to me since you and like I have a completely different outlook. Right. I don't have an opinion, I have attributed to me, not attributed, but like connected to me since you. And like, I have a completely different outlook.

Right. I don't have an opinion. I don't have anything like seeing how it like affected you and affected people around you. I was like, I was like, dude, I don't have anything to say about this. Dude, it is so, so, so fucked. I said, somebody said,

like you're the last person who should be making this video. Cause I say like, I said it like, you never know what's going on behind closed doors. And they put said it like, you never know what's going on behind closed doors. And they put in quotes, like you never know what's going on behind closed doors. Like you're, you're fucking right. And I was like,

yeah, yeah, no, I am. You're not saying what you think you're saying. Like, I know what, I know what you're saying.

You know what's going on behind closed doors. Cause I was having an affair, but you don't realize what you're saying because you don't know why. You know what I mean? So like, that's what they asked me to do. That's the take for Snapchat yesterday. Like you do the brain take and i was like nah yeah i tried to keep it very service level of just like it's probably because he unretired and giselle

said fuck you but there was one source that said um like giselle says he's horrible to be around during the season and i don't doubt that i was gonna say like yeah i mean like professional breaking news like professional athletes oftentimes are too committed to work. Yeah. You know? I was going to say, I know people who are horrible to be around during work, and they work the whole year. Yeah. They work every single goddamn fucking day.

That's just life, man. I said, Giselle's the first chick to ever have the for richer part of the vow come into play. You know what I mean? Like, she violated that part of it. Like, play she like you know what i mean like she violated that part of it like i got too rich what i'm working too hard making too much money you divorce me for that for for richer actually finally matter like the running no she's the reason she's upset because giselle's quite the business one brady always uh correct uh thanked her and said like yeah she's the one who like taught him how to do like just equity

yeah like not take blah blah blah and she's just pissed he keeps taking less money. She's like, one million base salary again, Tom? One million. That was probably it. If you're coming back from... That's probably why he finally took at least a little bit of money. She's like, if you're coming back, you're at least going to make fucking... You're at least going to be a top 15 quarterback.

Crazy. Dude, I can't even imagine. This is probably for every celebrity divorce. All the properties. They have so many. They have international properties. Right. That's the thing. I can't even imagine this is probably for every celebrity divorce like all the properties they have so many and international properties right that's the thing it's like we have to like we have to go get like our fucking you know Italian lawyers we have to get these like absolutely nuts but it is um it's like totally hypocritical because like I love when uh like I just what

you just said now like I'm not gonna talk about it because like you have a different outlook on it right but but neither of us and nobody will ever just proactively apply that to something else that they don't know about yeah so like why wait for that to happen for you to have the right perspective oh you know you don't know how to have empathy yeah yeah I guess pretty much the worst part of this all though is, is Tom Brady's going to play for another decade. The only hope we had was that he was going to retire for his family. Now we know he's not doing that. He's had a fairly slow year up until Sunday,

at which point I would imagine the news that broke yesterday morning had already happened. He was like, I'm done. Time to go for 303. Yep. The weight off your shoulders, man. I mean, it sucks. It's horrible for his kids and all that stuff, so it's not funny to laugh about. But I'll tell you this.

If he was still a patriot, I'd be making all sorts of jokes. I don't give a fuck if I went through a divorce myself. I'd be making baby mama jokes left and fucking right. You're racking them up, Tom. You'll be on Maury Povich next, doing paternity tests. Do you think Tom Brady gets married again? Probably later.

You think so? Later in life, yeah. Do you think it'll be another? I also, I don't, like, this is the fourth time, this is the first time they've ever said lawyers, but this is the fourth time there have been, like, serious Brady-Giselle divorce rumors. And I think even one of the sources was like, I didn't think this was going to be the fight to end it, but it looks like it might be. Yeah, I did see it. So I'm not convinced it's real yet.

The only thing that I saw was that it was like they both have retained lawyers. And I wonder if there's a public records thing where it's like they both hired divorce lawyers so we know this time. Yeah. But I don't even know how that works. I don't know either. This is not the first rodeo. So if it happens, then I'll be like, okay, it happened. But I'm still like, I don't know.

I also could see when it comes to the work thing, I could see there being an element of like, I took a back seat or whatever you want to fucking call it. I put my thing on the back burner, put it on hold. All the catchphrases i just use myself they're stupid um for you like when you were building a franchise yourself like yeah you when you created patriot way when you like you always say like created a built a town built a town like a city of industry in massachusetts uh i'm cool with that i'm not sitting around while

you have fun in tampa bank like this is clearly like of course he wants to win and by the way you already did that like you already did the that mission it wasn't that was probably really it he was probably like i want to i want to prove bill wrong like i want to i want to do it myself and then she was like okay good you did it you're done right and it was like he was like fuck i thought it was gonna take more than that you know But it's like I am not spending another minute in Tampa, Florida. I am not doing this anymore for the people of Tampa. You know? Fuck that.

Like doing it for the Stephen Chays of the world and like the hillbillies and the panhandle. Doing it for Stephen Che, Hulk Hogan, and Ric Flair. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm going to go buy. I'm going to go marry a fucking Brazilian demigod here, an Adonis.

But that is short of Tiger and Elon. That's probably the biggest celebrity divorce. I would imagine. Again, they're in two of the biggest industries in the world, and they're the two people at the top of it. It can't possibly get bigger. I would think the only thing, Jay-Z and Beyonce maybe? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would be...

And Kim and Kanye. All right, this is a bunch. Yeah, but Kim and Kanye was always so weird from the jump. And it was like, it was, yeah. We knew that was happening. This has been 15 years. Jay and Beyonce are actually,

I think, are going to end up being one of the more admirable couples out there. Like, if they do end up sticking through it at all. Yeah. I mean, at this point, they're fucking better. They're like, well.

Jay-Z's like 60. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you guys are gonna die soon. Yeah, right. But, like, he cheated. She fucking flamed him on a whole album. They both, like, called it. Yeah, that one, I don't know how you get through that.

Dude, I don't know how he does. Like, there's certain, let's just say there are certain times where it's like, all right, yeah, you know, you, you broke a rule and cross the line, but the punishment hasn't, doesn't fit the crime.

You know, that was probably one of those. Like, all right, I'll let you get, I'll let you do the, the, the breakup song. Yeah.

You're that man. Do you think it was Rihanna? I have no, I, I think I heard that one time. I wonder, I mean, we know it was like Becky with the good hair.

I think they, they chased down some like hair dresser girl. I forgot about that. I think I heard that one time. I wonder. I mean, we know it was, like, Becky with the good hair. I think they chased down some, like, hairdresser girl. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. I always thought. But it was. I thought, like, the reason that, like, her sister hit him in the elevator. Yes. Was something about Rihanna.

Yeah. But I also don't know if it's, like, fucked her. That's, you know. That's. That's a. There's a. She was, like, on his label and everything. So it's, like, probably.

But, you know. But, like, if you. If you can survive that. God. Jay-Z is so fucking cool. Because, fucking cool because like he took a beating on that. Like the biggest act in the world made like a diss album about you and he is back to being cool. You know what I mean? Like nobody cares, you know?

It's wild. That is something like I went to prison, I was rehabilitated. Yes, yeah. You know what it is too, though? Like, it is, he still is probably digging his way out of that hole. Remember when they did the Barbie and Ken Halloween? Can you pull up Beyonce, Jay-Z Halloween costume dolls? He's in a doll box with her.

It's like, this was like, yeah, you're in trouble, and you need to fucking, you need to do our couple's costume. You don't remember that face? You don't remember that face? Oh, it was great. And it's, like, super cute because they did it with Blue Ivy, and I'm sure it was like, Daddy will be Ken, and I'll be Barbie, and you can be Barbie too.

But that picture of Jay-Z looking a hundred years old, right? He looks like your old grandpa at the wedding. Would you dance with me? Beyonce looks iconic and Blue Ivy is a model and then Jay-Z's like, fucking kill me. And you know that he was like,

there was one moment where he was like, babe, I'm from the streets. I was a drug dealer. You think I could do it? And she went like this to her. Turned her head and said, shut up and put on your pink bow tie. Do you want me to put on lemonade again? Put it on. Get in the box. You want to make another album? Get in the box.

And that's how you know she's powerful. Because you got Jay-Z on a fucking leash like that. So yeah. We'll do M.I. the Asshole. We'll do a couple of topics M.I. the Asshole, voicemails, bounce. All right.

One Minute Man today on KFC Radio is brought to you by Curve. I got them in my wallet right here, my Ridge wallet. I'll tell you about that later. Curve card. Look at this card right here. First of all, it's got some strength to it. You slap it down. Remember that guy with the business card guy? Yes.

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and texting. So get involved with Curve. We're doing it here. And they sponsor our live tours, so they are a big part of the show. So if you like us, you should like them. Tom and Giselle broke up. Also, funny shit going on in the comedy world right now. So you remember a few weeks ago we had britney schmidt on

the show she is a uh a comic out in la um who is on the come up she has a new special out um that is fucking like we we've been talking about how there's a lot of specials and how specials aren't special anymore and a lot of people are just kind of putting out like covid jokes and and and um pandemic jokes and trump jokes and shit it's like all of these are going to age like milk and you're not going to want to watch them britney put out a special that is all about like her life uh her chaotic life before getting married and settling down and and she tells some tales on that on that special talking about uh unfortunately her dead mom suing well for her yeah yeah okay she said it yeah yeah i'll i'll i'll take her word for it that woman sucked so fortunately her mom killed herself bad people

dying sick yeah that's awesome get get rid of them um and her special was called From Ho to Housewife so she very openly talks about her wild days when she was younger and she tells this story we'll put the clip in but I'll just sum it up quickly or actually we'll just put the clip in I don't have to explain it right

so she tells this story she's told it in a couple of she's had it in her stand up act it was in her latest special this was the story um she's told it in a couple of like she's had it in her stand-up act it was in uh her latest special this was the story now she she says it straight up if you google that if you google this he's the light one uh well enough people saw this special and enough people saw the clip go viral that now when you go to google and type this shit in all of the search results are like if you put in like ex jehovah's witness nba it starts to auto fill and everybody who saw this is now searching jehovah's witness nba player light skin cousin keith and uh it very quickly uh narrows down to which NBA player it is.

How do you get that to be like your cousins have Wikipedias? That's famous. Well, no, I don't think his cousin But at least, dude, you could not find out a name of one of my cousins, I don't think. I actually don't even know. A significant leap. I wonder if that part did show up in the search or if people were just trying to let me put in

all the information we have. I don't know if this guy's cousin's name – I don't know if he's famous enough that you know his cousin's name. I don't even know if fucking, like, LeBron's cousin would pop up, you know? But that is one of the more, like – I mean, the details. Like, you peed in my mouth. We got a threesome with your cousin. And now everybody did the fucking math on Google and figured out who it is. That is like some shit right there.

That's the kind of story you'll catch a fucking $60 million deal from Spotify. You keep talking like that. You know what I mean? That's what pays the bills these days. I said that the threesome with the cousin is loose. It's a loose move. And that is still The third wildest story

In a clip with only two stories That's how far and away The number one is There is no number two We drop down to three Having a threesome with your cousin Is Because isn't it funny

I think I don't want to cross any lines funny I think not to not to I don't want to cross any lines here I think there's some some racial divide here really

like I don't think white guys are fucking with their cousins oh I don't know I could see cousins like I could see black guys being like

yeah my cousin Ray Ray come on down like we'll fucking stick together like I'm not fucking my cousins are like lanky white Jewish guys. I don't want to fuck with them. I think you're being a little too racist. Not racist. I was going to say

close-minded with this. Oh, you think I need to open up my mind to the white people fucking? Well, because I think there's a lot of white people all over the place. They're not fucking with their cousins, they're just fucking their cousins. That's what I think is the difference. I think that this was more of a like, hey, I'm in town. Like, you want to go party with, like, me and my cousins that live here.

And then all of a sudden we, like, have a night and we find ourselves back in the hotel room. Versus, like, I'm in a relationship with my cousin. That's like some Tuscaloosa shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, I think those people who are in a relationship with their cousins would have no problem fucking with their cousin either. Yeah, you're right. That's a parallelogram is a rectangle, but not a rectangle. It's a parallelogram.

That's one of those, like, I wish we were official, but I guess we can just fuck weird until then. Yeah, right, right. I mean, like, you have a cousin local. Like, would you fuck with him? No. Yeah. No.

But I'm... I mean, case closed. Yeah. No. But I'm... I mean, case closed. I'm right. I don't represent an entire race. Sure you do. You are the quintessential white man. I think... Would you fuck with your cousin, Pabst?

I thought about it, but cash on the table, Would you fuck with your cousin? I don't have any male cousins, so... That's how straight Pabst is. Nick, would you have a threesome? Nick, would you have a threesome nick would you have a threesome with your cousin no no pat i mean it's different with girls but jackie colleen would you

have threesome with your cousin no no no yeah i bet if we were black we would say yes uh so that that's one to keep an eye on in the comedy world right now the clip's going very viral she's on twitter or uh uh instagram britney schmidt's going very viral. She's on Twitter or Instagram. Brittany Schmidt is her name. I think it's like I am Brittany Schmidt or it's Brittany Schmidt or some stupid shit like that instead of just her name. But Brittany Schmidt. We also got a very satisfying story

in the news of the gender reveal resulting in a thousands of dollars in fines. Gender reveals had their moment on the internet, and then the pendulum swung back the other way where everyone hated gender reveals, to the point that...

I mean, their moment of liking it was exceptional. I mean, that was... In and out like the wind. Well, I don't want to say liking it, but you had a pretty... Going viral every time. Going viral, yes. But I think that viral...

Most things that go viral, they're viral because they're hated. Yeah. A few things are like, this makes me feel happy. Let's share. Yeah, yeah, no, no. It's like, this is the worst thing.

I hate it so much. Yeah, because who likes, I hate those Instagram accounts that are like, happy news day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, shut the fuck up. The world sucks, you know?

Great morning, world. Thank you, God, for giving me another day. Shut the fuck up. I don't want to be happy on account of someone else. Like, get the fuck out of here. I will say when it comes to like especially baby stuff, it is just a natural thing that happens. Everything you see on the internet sucks.

Gender reveals suck. The pictures suck. When people want to tell stories about their kids, they suck. Bro, did you see the fucking picture The what like You know I don't want to Whatever I'm just I don't care I'm going to stop doing this

Who cares Let's think logically about this Do you see what every single white woman in their 30s is doing now Which is they wrap themselves up like a baby And take like the baby picture No Please show me in their 30s is doing now, which is they wrap themselves up like a baby and take the baby picture? No. Yo, it's every single... Like they match what the

baby is doing? No, they don't even have babies, Kevin. They're just doing it themselves. I'm going to try and find it. I am on the edge of my seat because whatever you're describing I think is about to be one of my most hated things on the internet. It is. I don't even know what Pabst is trying to Google one of my most hated things on the internet. It is. It is.

I don't even know what Pabst is trying to Google. I don't even know what I would. They dress up like babies for Instagram? No, they're not dressing up like babies. You know how like a baby, they have like the sign next to them? Yeah. And it's like eight months old, loves like tequila, loves this. Oh, so they're doing like 30?

Yeah. Like I'm 30 years old. The baby ones don't say loves tequila. No,. Oh, so they're doing like 30? Yeah. Like I'm 30 years old. The baby ones don't say loves tequila. No, no, no. And it's like loves tequila and pumpkin pictures. That is horrible.

I don't know how I'm going to put you in charge of finding this. I get what you mean. It is like they're wrapped up in like a blanket and they have like

that little like not chalkboard but the board you push the numbers and letters into. Sometimes it is a chalkboard though. Sometimes it's a pinboard.

Sometimes you slide the letters in. Well, that was actually what I was talking about. It's is a chalkboard, though. Sometimes it's a pin board. Sometimes you slide the letters in. Well, that was actually what I was talking about. It's just been swaddled up. It is. It's a fence. I saw it on Twitter. I think we started the movement of hashtag

StopWhiteWomen2020, and it's now 2023. We still haven't stopped them, but we need to keep fighting. We need to keep fighting the good fight. What I was talking about was those kind of pictures. You see those, and you roll your eyes, and you see the gender reveals, and you roll your eyes, and then you have kids, and it's like...

You got it? What did you search? White women, babies. Babies. Just hold up your phone. Let me see. Oh, you got it. Oh, my God!

It's way worse than I thought! It's way... 360... It's way worse than I thought! Dude, it is... It is... Oh, my God. Fucking crazy, dude.

Oh! Look at this one. That last one... That last one, at least... Like, go in if you're going to do this. She has that fucking written out like a

like it's a sign of the baseball game. It is. These ones are at least doing the fucking real thing like likes, espresso, shopping, sushi,

reality TV, but like 480 months. Look at this one. 360 months. Enjoys carbs, hates cardio, still eats every

two to three hours. Favorite adult beverage, black cherry seltzes, can be found in the garden in her free time. Dude, this is it. This is the one. I hate this more than anything. Text that to me

because I gotta do this for one minute, man, too. Dislikes, Mondays. Oh my god. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I'm not gonna say I'm gonna kill them because they're just doing whatever makes them happy, and I'm gonna kill myself I'm gonna fucking kill myself I can't like I'm not gonna say I'm gonna kill them

Cause they're just doing Whatever makes them happy And I'm gonna do What makes me happy And it's no longer Fucking subject myself To seeing this kind of bullshit That one is like

I'm done with the internet man I can't do it anymore That one is like They got that Fluffy white Rug And they got the Arc of flowers

Like I do That fat bitch at the end They're just like Hugged on the couch like whatever you know but that other girl her husband does her as a prank she's just asleep she doesn't even know what's happening oh my god anti

courtesy flush what the fuck is that that girl just lets her shit float excuse me that's not what they're called you dumb asshole old fashioned she did fashion not fashion Excuse me, that's not what they're called, you dumb asshole. Old-fashioned? She did fashion, not fashions. That's fucking great.

She also just lets her fucking poop float. Isn't that what a courtesy flush is? Right? Well, courtesy flush is when you flush it down to get, like... Like mid-poop. Yeah. That's a weird thing for a girl to do. I'm anti that. I guess I'm anti it, too.

I don't flush until my shit's done. Until the toilet's full, you hear me? I'm a piloter. I don't flush until I need the plunger. I do big shits. My poops are big. Big poops only. Oh, man.

Send me all these photos, man. They do cake smashes too. And we're sure this is like brand new. Those are old, right? That's like 2018 there. But the new ones, holy shit. It's a new tweet. It came across my time on there.

I totally forgot about it. Because God loves me and I can fucking blank out dark memories. But apparently they're back now. Bro, that is all time bad. You'll see that on One Minute Man very, very soon. Wait, why did we even bring that up? Oh, the general. I was going to say, now I sound stupid,

because I was going to say some of those things, once you do have kids, you're like, I don't know, it's cute to fucking put them next to the teddy bear that has the number of days they've been alive or whatever. I have a ton of great pictures of Shay that I love very much that we took like that, you know? And Keegan, but mostly Shay. Because for a boy, it's like, this shay because for a boy it's like this is

gay yeah for shay it's like this is cute um but like again you don't have to other people don't have and shouldn't like it you know what i mean uh gender reveals is one of them i never we've never done a gender reveal i never would i would never do it publicly but like i don't know if if if you came up with like a funny way to do it I guess I'd be like okay I'll do it yeah it's like you don't want to be like a party pooper it's like yo we like we're gonna throw this ball and like you hit it and it explodes like okay yeah I wouldn't do anything where I

risk being one of those assholes who the people who I actually to be honest I think I would be like I'm not doing it you'd say no I think you say that now but I also think that you would not I mean if someone was like I really want you to do this I I'd be like, fine. Well, that's what all women do, dude. But like, I think I would.

You think that when wives come up with these things, they're like, hey, you want to do it? Meh, I can't really decide. Oh, you don't want to do it? Okay, yeah, neither do I. You think that's how it goes? No, they're hell-bent on doing the latest fucking stupid trend so that they can get their likes and their shit off, too. None of these women are just like, maybe we'll do it. No, but there are plenty of guys who want to fucking like, I want to

hit a golf ball and it be blue so I can go wow, boy. What I think it is, is it's a compromise. Like, I'm not doing any dumb gender reveal. And they're like, we'll do it on the golf course. Okay, I'll do it. I also, I just, you know, if you're the guy who swings and misses the ball or you drop the balloon, let go of the

balloon, like, well, the balloon's fine. If you let go of the balloon like well the balloon's fine if you're one of the guys who swing and miss like don't put it on the internet yeah yeah or if yeah i guess you're cool about it like let the people like that that actually i admire you you mean like this is one of those things that is exactly what we're talking about with the divorce where it's like if you personally knew the person you'd be like that's fine that's what i'm saying yeah that's what i'm saying is that people have this but But I do honestly think I'm not doing this. Well, that shit, when it's for the baby, I'm like, you don't realize that when you're in the moment and you're doing something. If the mother of your kids comes to you and says, we're going to do something cute for the baby for the birthday.

For their birthday, they're alive. Whatever it is. A gender reveal, a birthday, a we're gonna dress them up you know what i don't fucking care for when it's the first day of school and they're tired as fuck and they don't even want to be going because they've been sleeping in all summer and you've got to take the picture in front of the house that says my first day of kindergarten i want to just be like just put them in the car and send them to school they're crying they hate this but you just do it because there's you know their mom is like is like, we got to do this, you know.

But adults doing anything, like, my point being all that other shit, the first picture day, the birthdays, when, you know, your baby mama comes to you and says, like, we're doing something cute for the kids to have pictures, you're not going to be like, fuck that. I'm not fucking doing it. You're not. I'm telling you, you're not. You tell me I'm not going to do a lot of things that I don't usually do. You may have noticed it's really hard to get me to do something I don't want to do. If you have kids, you will not do that.

If I genuinely don't want to do it, I would be like, I don't want to do that. But why would you genuinely not want to do that? To take a picture with a kid, fine. But I genuinely think it's outright lame. I think they're not in an angry way, not in a fucking whatever. Outright, I think they're lame. And I would be like, I don't want to participate in something lame. The gender reveal. If you want to do that, you can have a party and I'll be here,

but I don't want to participate in it. You can wear the crown if this is your idea. I don't want to do that. I think you would look like a dickhead dad. Probably. If you're at a gender reveal and the dad's not participating. I'm not going to gender reveal and the dad's not participating. I'm not going to fucking play wiffle ball with you.

I don't want, you want, if we want to think too, like if it's much easier, if it's like, we have a cake and we're going to cut into the cake and the cake's going to be one color.

I'm like, that's fine. That's no big deal. Whatever. But like, I don't know. I do genuinely just think those things are lame.

John is right. I usually say like, nah, I think, you know, you would do it and he doesn't do those things, and he's single.

That's also usually how it goes. I'm single, and I'm sufficient, Kevin. Yeah. Anyway, this is all to go back to the fucking Brazil gender reveal. They poured a colored liquid into a

fucking waterfall in, like, the wilderness. Not like a little, into a fucking waterfall in the wilderness. Not like a little statue waterfall thing in your garden. Like a full-ass waterfall in the Brazilian rainforest. And so it turned the whole waterfall and the pond beneath blue for the baby boy. Kind of a sick gender reveal, actually. So I was going to say every now and then they stumble upon a new one that's kind of cool. Yeah, you have to burn down

half a country to do it. And apparently it turns out that this waterfall and puddle actually provides drinking water for an entire town at the bottom of this river. And they are now they don't have drinking water. I bottom of this river. And they are now, they can't, like, they don't, like, have drinking water.

I would do this one. I would do this one. Would you? I feel like it's. I would do a gender reveal as long as it involves a crime. Yeah, I was going to say, the bigger the better. Because, like I said, I genuinely find them lame. But if we're breaking the law, they can't be lame.

That's cool. What about the guy, the sniper who snipes, like, from 1,800 yards away, the blue or the purple? I haven't seen that. He just, you know, He just blows up blue. It would be better if it was two people. A person. A man or a woman.

Yeah, he kills the one that it isn't. Right, right. That's cooler. Yeah, we're now... What about when they do a WWF wrestling match? I don't know that one. They have a guy who's dressed in blue, like two actors or two family members.

A guy who's dressed in blue and a guy who's dressed in pink and a guy who's dressed in pink and whoever wins is... If it's the Hardy Boys, I'm in. Yeah, that one was pretty cool. I saw that one

and I kind of liked it. It was like, they scripted like a full match and they had like kickouts, like somebody hit the stunner and they're like, one, two,

and pink kicks out and then pink does the rock bottom and blue kicks out. That's kind of cool. Yeah, that's kind of cool. So there is some, you know,

it's like anything else in life. Don't be like unoriginal. Don't be, like, unoriginal. Don't be lame about it. I'm sure the first person to, like, hit a golf ball or whatever was like, oh, that's kind of cool. Now that's played out. Now you got to go, like,

rough and rowdy. Like, I need a knockout. I need someone in pink to be, like, on the ground doing Tua. And it's like, it's a boy! It's a boy! The girl's dead!

We killed it! It's a boy! Just up the ante! We killed it! It's a boy! Just up the ante, man. Make sure your gender reveal goes viral in a good way. And then it's fucking cool. So yeah, those people had to pay like $2,000. It was the equivalent of like 100,000 Brazilian fucking coins.

Whatever that's called. And the last thing here, a woman and a man on KPC Radio. There's a new member of the NBA G League. Ho you fat! You know, sometimes... I hope he gets a percentage of his jersey sales because it's going to be pretty big.

Wait, his name's Steve? Yeah, Steve with two E's, I think, right? Wait, wait, wait. Okay, hang on. I knew the name. I didn't know... Is this a... He changed his name?

Like, is this funny on purpose now? No. Because I didn't know is this a he changed his name like is this funny on purpose now no I didn't know his name was Steve from what I know this is his birth name I thought he was 34 I thought he's like young guys I thought he was gonna be like Asian or playing in Asian leagues and it was a whole you fat no I knew I I'd seen him I knew it looked like I knew his Steve yeah I didn't see the pic I saw the tweets I didn't see the pictures yet so I thought it was gonna be like a and he's French I believe he's French yeah but then but is that that's his like given name ho you fat I Coley's tweet killed me it said uh oh Charles Barkley upon arriving in San Antonio ho you fat that's

that's an all timer man and as long as that's like natural like if it's not like some he hate me shit like a nickname that we legally changed our name to his name is just Steve ho you fat I mean that it's as good as it gets

I think it's way better than he hates me I swear to god if i owned a basketball team i don't care how bad this guy is he's on my team this is almost like jeremy lynn like okay well whatever i was gonna say it's like the fucking met sign and tebow we'll just do jersey sales i'm gonna say jersey sales yeah jeremy lynn shit like you'll make like a billion off of the merch alone um ho you fat all-time sports name right Right up there. This is more comedic, but it's up there with the God Sham God and God's Gift. Yeah. God's Gift, Iowa.

That world peace, which again was fake. Yeah. See, that's what I mean. I like the ones that are just straight up ridiculous names that were parents given. But Ho You Fat, up there for sure. All right. Time for Am I the Asshole? Brought to you by Roman

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We got a doozy today. This is going to be a part of the Me Too Too movement. Right? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I mean, this should just be part of the regular ass fucking like. Who am I about to read you is. It's called Am I the Asshole?

Someone committed a sex Crime Against Me. Yeah. Wife tied me up during sex... Sounds okay, right? So far, so good. And searched my phone. Man, I'm... I love when people write, like, they put some heart into it.

He goes, man, I'm... I honestly... Like, I am dot, dot, dot. He's putting put some heart into it he goes man i'm uh i honestly like i am dot dot dot he's putting some some theatrics into it man i'm i honestly can't grasp what just happened we were doing a role play for sex and she decided to tie me up to a chair i'm immediately picturing uh skyfall i believe that bond scene which is one of the most horrible torture scenes in all time when he gets put into like aicker chair, wicker bottom chair, and the fake Elon Musk cuts the bottom of the chair out

and then has a ball on the end of a rope and just keeps swinging it and hitting his nuts. Like underneath? Under it. Oh, my God. And so his balls are just hanging down beneath the chair, and he just kind of swings it. It is a brutal scene.

Holy moly. Fucking Daniel Craig looks jacked up, though. Bro, whoever thought of that, throw him in jail. That guy's too good with it. He's nice with it. We were doing a role play for sex, and she decided to tie me up in a chair. I was obviously loving everything she was doing until she got up and walked away from me. I was also blindfolded i started asking where the heck she went and

whether she was okay because all i could hear was the stuff the sound of stuff being moved around she told me she just remembered to take her medication and that she'd be back with me in a second i didn't buy it because she only takes her meds in the morning first of all if we're just throwing out this meds talk loosey-goosey clearly something's up yeah yeah um seems like she didn't take her meds that yeah exactly yeah maybe that's the problem pal um she told me i didn't buy it i tried freeing my hands it wasn't hard giving how bad she wasn't making knots that's what i was gonna wonder i was like this guy really trapped yeah um i freed my hands and quickly removed the blindfold and caught her with my phone in her hand I asked her what she was doing with my phone

and she got quiet I snatched the phone to take a look turns out she was snooping through it she's been wanting to do it for a while after quote suspecting something off with my behavior and thought the only way she could take a look was by having me tied up and my eyes blindfolded we had the biggest fight because of it

and she began crying saying I ruined the night and judged her for the, quote, gut feeling she had and couldn't control. I don't know, man. I just don't feel like I could trust her. You think? Maybe I'll get over it. Parentheses. Should I really? But after this.

But this is just fucked up. Like, update. I'm 28, she's 25. Also update for those asking. We don't have the update, if she found anything or not. 28, 25. Oh, can you check that back? Did she find anything? Oh, let me see.

If you can go to the link, it's the edit at the bottom. Got it. This is not only like, you know yeah like a sex crime well you know what sucks is i bet it's not because he was able to get out like freely yeah like quickly but like that moment of horror and trepidation like is fucked up you should have to pay for that but the fact that he was probably like and got out they're gonna be like you can't really charge someone for i don't know any sort of physical harm physical harm if no harm was done, you know? Can I make maybe a potentially Jackie claim?

I think if I was tied to a chair, I could get out 100% of the time. I was going to say, you could get out. I think you could get out not 100% of the time. If it was like some Boy Scout shit, some of those Japanese, the Army Hammer shit, they learned how to tie you the fuck up. I don't think you could. I think. I don't. As long as I think – I don't – As long as I have access to my like my toes, like if I can fucking –

because I think I just jump and throw myself down and the chair would break. Oh, all right. That's a good – okay. What about the toes? Like I need them to like project – propel myself up. Okay. Like I need – as long as my feet are still free and I can give myself a little boost, I would just throw myself back.

Also, you're saying your ankles would be tied, but you could still push with your... I think also you could just rock. I think I need a little more propulsion. Yeah, the forced... But you think if I duct taped

and tied up your hands together, could you get out of that? Yep. But just like. That's how you do it. For the people listening, John just did, like, a reverse karate chop into his body. Like this. I go.

I'd be out. Get duct tape right now. I'm fucking gone, dude. I'm sure we have duct tape here somewhere. And if not, could somebody run down to Dwayne Ray real quick? Oh, my God!

It's literally right here. All right, you don't get to do, like, a hundred times. No, but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna be fair. I don't know. That's some weak shit. No, get the fuck out of here!

You shut your goddamn mouth! That's not actual, like, duct tape. Nah, nah, tape me up. No, I mean, this is... I'm not gonna do, like, a hundred, but I'm gonna do, like... You want it on your shirt? Or your... Probably on the shirt. Nah, tape me up. No, I mean, this is... I'm not going to do like a hundred, but I'm going to do like... You want it on your shirt or your... Probably on the shirt.

Eh, whatever. You don't even have hair on there. You're fine. I'm going to do it like you're my prisoner and I'm tying you up. Put that shit together. Put them together. They're together?

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do like three around. Okay. Two, one. Bro, I am... I'm going to tell you something. You're so fucked. I know. I am so out of this. I actually Wow Wow That's really good to know. That was good.

Actually, as I finished up... Hit me some more. Hit me with more. Let's see how much it would take. Because I also... This does feel like real, but Nick might be right that it's not the real head of the show.

Oh, I won't have you taking this moment from me. No, no, no. You're right. But that was so easy that I'm like... I'm going to just do the whole roll also maybe i need to like do you like pull it like that i guess probably i didn't really like pull it around i kind of want to go get the gaff tape kind of want to get what gaff tape it's what we use for all the equipment here and it's like it'll fuck you up.

But it won't leave residue. We started this thing with, like, let's be quick, and now it's like, let's tape each other up a little bit. This time I did a zigzag through the, like... John's the strongest man alive Let's do the whole roll Let's see Let's do the whole roll Do you need this?

I don't even know Why we have this This is amazing This is amazing folks I'm wondering If this is a John thing Or We have a hammer We have a hammer I don't know John thing or we have a hammer

I don't know let me beat you with a hammer I saw Jetski talking about the E.T. hammers thing he had a picture of him and his boys at like that age and they were literally all holding hammers

he goes me and my friends would beat him age, and they were literally all holding hammers. He goes, he goes, me and my friends would beat him. No, seriously, look at this. We all have hammers. I'm either going to do the full amount or just like, if that's taking too long, we'll do like, I'll just do a ridiculous amount. Put them together. It's funny that you can do this But you can't put your arms together

And I'm going to do a couple of zigzags Even though that didn't do anything I mean this is really good to know though When you watch a movie It's like stupidly fake When they just do, like, one time around. I might be in trouble with that. All right, Pav, start tickling him. Kick him in the dick!

All right, I'll do one more. This one's crazy. I mean, this is, like, several inches. I think you got it though yeah yeah the noise that side The noise! That thud! I did not... I didn't even think of that. I did not anticipate how much it would hurt if you...

Oh, it hurts so bad. You might have broke a rib. Yo, my man just went... Pow! Don't do it again. No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Oh my god, you're crazy. Bro, you didn't even put a dent No, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, my God. You're crazy. Bro, you didn't even put a dent.

This is not good. You're just going to hurt yourself. Come on, Johnny. Big explosions. Big explosions. I'm kidnapped. Give me his phone. Give me his phone. Go through his phone. give me his phone go through his phone

dude oh my god can I tell you something you gotta do the whole interview like this can I tell you dude I almost I have to thank you I have to thank you for doing that

because for a moment right now like we were just jackass for a moment that was like Steve-O and Knoxville for a second, I'm sure they've done shit like this with duct tape but I think that could have been a skit in jackass

or someone just going dude I just playfully did that to myself that was a hurt. It didn't feel good. Let's at least do the rest of the segment with you tied up. Okay. This is one of the grossest violations of trust, like, of all time. I legitimately.

It's going to run out so bad. The screams. The screams. Well, here's what is happening. I am. Oh, Jackie's got. I am. But what's happening is I. I am. Oh, Jackie's got. I am.

But what's happening is I am loosening it. I'm loosening it quite a bit. I was also going to say the rule is not you have to do it in one shot. So if you just sat there like, you know, over the course of. But here's the deal. I can get out now, I think. So now. I think. Oh, yeah.

There you go. I got out still. Bro there you go I got out still Bro Bro I got out still That counts Let me feel that I mean dude feel this

I can like pass Look at this I can like throw I mean that's a lot Of fucking tape dude The fact that you can Like that is I wonder if there is

I think this is also why You know I was saying If you If you were If I tied you up like a fucking if I knew knots and shit like I bet you

there's a way like I did the crisscross thing there I bet you if I did like this one little right thing it would shit you wouldn't be able to do it

you know what I mean those things are usually like if just one little let me see your chest it's gotta be red right not that bad it's gonna hurt later though this is going on the wall of fame right here It's going to be red, right? Not that bad. It's going to hurt later, though.

This is going on the wall of fame. Right here. Binoculars. Tiny binoculars. I love it. That is cool that it loosened. I thought you had to just rip it. It did loosen it up. So that's actually, you know, we kind of did like a Mythbusters.

Hey, ladies, ladies, take notes. For real. That's a little Mythbusters, though, when you see like in a movie and it's like, come on, that's not real. It's like you can just, I mean, that also goes to prove if you were trapped for hours and you just went like this, like you would eventually, you'd like rub the skin off your fucking body, but you'd get out. The fakest one is like the tape over your mouth. Like, I'll get out of that in two seconds. Fine. You sure?

Oh, it's going to hurt my mustache like a motherfucker. I'll try not to get it on. No, put it on like you're going to get it on me. I'm out of that in two seconds. I'm going to go under my mustache. I don't really care if it hurts. No, I've got to go over it. But let's say your hands are tight. Yeah, you really can't, but let's say your hands are tied. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, that, the hair, yeah, you really can't. Hello! Help! Yeah. Help! Help! All right.

You can go around my hair? I'll go around your neck. Oh, boy. No, you can just do that. I don't want you to be, like, genuine. But I also think That if it was Wrapped around your head Then it's harder

But you still I bet you can still like Also you can still just go Cause you just lick it I guess you really Can't be that loud As long as you lick it once It's like

It's wet The adhesive's gone It's a good reason To have a mustache Ladies Grow a mustache Wow that was awesome What a

What a podcast moment That's gonna be like a Come watch on YouTube bro This guy though I mean him being like Can I like fix this You can fix this by like calling your lawyer And sending her to jail

Bro here's the thing Everyone every guy has gone through this And I'm sure plenty of women too blah blah blah but like yada yada yada like every single guy has had a girl go through his phone like it's just he was tied up a little bit i but like once had a girl um nope never mind i can do this not gonna do this i've told the story before on the on stage i've told before on the podcast where i had a girl go through my phone use my thumbprint to get in my phone

while I was asleep and then beat the shit out of me while I was asleep for what she found in my phone and it wasn't even anything in my phone it was like me doing your casual complaining about a girlfriend with my friends they just want to see I know a guy a girl

he had his phone and she just, snatched it and ran and knocked herself in the bathroom. And he, like, chased her down the hallway. He was, like, banging on the door, like, give me it back! Give me it back! Imagine that, just knowing on the other side of the door. I would have fucking, like, I would have done, like, the shoulder, like, bam! I'd be breaking down that door.

Give me the phone back! Like the Knife Kid video? Tommy, what do you got to hit? A knife? No! I got your phone. Do you remember, oh, I don't know,

I think I did it by myself, Rachel Feinstein, her boyfriend used to grab her laptop, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He would steal her laptop to go through it and he would put it in the freezer. Yeah.

And she would see him run down the hallway and she was like, he's doing the laptop thing again. Let's go get it from him um but this is like so the problem by the way how dumber girls that they're like her plan was to like fucking thomas crown affair this shit's oceans 11 this shit tie you up like you think you're good enough at this to like like he probably just you know snap snap uh what are you doing you idiot uh so the fact that you're good enough at this to, like, he probably just, you know, snap, snap. What are you doing, you idiot? So the fact that you were dumb enough to think that that, like, was going to work. Unless you are, like, a fucking spy or a Boy Scout and you know anything about knots.

Like, chances are you don't have the right rope and you don't know the knots. You know, it's like, why would you think you could do this? So you're stupid. And then. He watched a Fifty Shades of Grey tutorial YouTube. I'm going to be out of this. And then to be like, how dare you? How dare you say that I'm wrong for this?

Like, I had a gut feeling. Of course I go through your phone. What? Yeah, it is. I mean, this bitch is the worst. It's a weirdly accepted practice to just like... It's so unfair. It's part of the... Like, we joke and have mean, this bitch is the worst. It's a weirdly accepted practice to just like. It's so unfair. It's part of the me. Like, we joke and have fun about the Me Too Too movement.

But deep in my heart, I want to like, during our shows, I'm like, stop laughing. I want to actually talk about this. This is bullshit. It's just like, LOL, I have this destructive practice that I do that will blow up in everybody's face. Even if you're not doing anything wrong or against the rules. Like, everybody has some secrets, or everybody vents, or everybody flirts,

or everybody talks to an ex, or everybody says at some point, like, my girlfriend's being a bitch, or, you know, whatever the fuck it is, you're gonna find something. And it's just like, it's like if you are, like, going to somebody's brain and just, like, looking looking at their thoughts it's like you're violating the fucking

rules of humanity here there is crazy it's like i feel like a trend like like there's always like something that is like a popular trend on social media where it is like a woman being abusive and like we went through we've done it before where it was like the girls like like clapping at like their frat boy boyfriends and just screaming in their face. Screaming in public. And the guys are just sitting there. And it's like, ooh, he's having a tough day today. Yeah, yeah.

And then like it became like something. I forget. There was one other thing. And now it's – I don't know if you've seen them, but they're like TikToks or whatever. And it's like me watching my boyfriend on like the cologne I just bought him. And it's like a girl like watching her laptop screen. It's like clearly like a spy camera in her boyfriend's room and it's like these things are allowed until everyone's like hey by the way this is really fucked up right like you're putting

spyware in my bedroom yeah it's a cute little tiktok video for you right now but it's like we're like watching my boyfriend in the new teddy bear i just got him or something like that and it's like it's like oh that's just the fucking camera in his room. That's insane. For some reason, we just accept this. This shit's so bad. I was watching a TikTok of a NFL girlfriend, and she's very open, like, talks about their relationship, about they went through, unfortunately, went through miscarriages,

like, just one of those, like, talking for all the other girls out there. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not. But it was like part one of like what I do as a girlfriend of a professional athlete to make sure that like, you know, things like work. And it's like when he's on the road, he is not allowed to go anywhere but like to the stadium and back to the hotel. I have his notifications on. And if that like if he breaks that rule, he no longer gets to travel with his phone next week. And I was like,

is that real or not? And then it got to the point, I think part three was like, if there's a meeting at the facility during practice week or whatever, if there are girls there in the room, he has to leave and Zoom and Skype into it.

And I was like... There's no way. There's no way. But it's... And then the last one was like, they need to charter another plane for him if there's going to be girls on the plane. So I was like, okay.

But the whole time I was like, girl might be doing this. Like that might be a rule. And then eventually, so like jokes on me forever believing it. But like the fact that these things can even possibly be true or like you even tried to enforce it is crazy to me. But it's just like, we're fucking psychopathic. It's like, God, what's wrong with you? But yeah, no, obviously you're the mega asshole here.

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Hey, guys. Just calling in. So we've all heard about these microplastics shrinking everybody's taints. I guess I got a would you rather for you. Would you rather your dick and balls get shrunk back to your butthole so that it's like pointing straight down, if not backwards, or have your dick and balls in the same place, but your butthole get shrunk taint-wise towards your balls,

and it'd be pretty much like on the front side. So would you rather dick and balls towards your ass, asshole to your balls? Thanks, appreciate it. Viva. Asshole to your balls, balls to your asshole. Can I have the asshole? You can't have your asshole near your dick,

because then you're like a girl. You can't. If your dick gets dangerously close to your sexual organ, that's a problem, and that's what chicks have. Wait, hang on. So he's saying... I think of my dick as right next to my butthole, but I guess my dick is really closer to my belly button.

Oh, God. Maybe equidistant. Pretty equidistant, yeah. Equidistant. Fuckers dropping, like, earth science on us here. You know what I always think is funny? When you think about, like, the tube in your dick, you know? You know, like, on the inside of your dick?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It runs, you know, like, fucking all the way under. It's one of those things... Oh, you know? You know, like on the inside of your dick. It runs, you know, like fucking all the way under. It's one of those things. Oh, I know, Kevin. I know exactly where it goes. And that's one of those things once you're like post-25. You realize and you're okay with it. Have you ever seen when

they dig up a fire hydrant? I can't say that I have. So you see the fire hydrant. It's a lot like an iceberg. they dig up a fire hydrant? I can't say that I have. I don't think. So you see the fire hydrant. It's a lot like an iceberg. When they take a fire hydrant out, fire hydrants are like 100 feet deep. Oh, maybe I might know what you're talking about. It's kind of like one of those things. You think your dick stops there.

Nope. Actually, my dick is humongous. That's what I mean. Your dick goes like your tailbone. Your dick goes like up and under All the way Like to the middle Of your vertebrae Like my dick is like

A giant Like an umbrella thing You know An umbrella stick You just only see The tip of my iceberg babe There's a lot more Beneath the surface

I'm like a duck You know Underneath I'm pedaling Underneath the surface My dick is strong Sometimes I actually Do feel that I'm like that Probably is bigger surface my dick is strong sometimes I actually do feel that I'm like that probably is bigger than my dick

you can like grab it you know could have just pulled a little more of this out while you were making me that's why like a fucking clown pulling out the a lot of dads do that with babies when they first born they just pull the dick you might not be fully formed yet

nah I'm kidding I'd shove it back in my kid can't have a bigger dick than me A lot of dads do that with babies when they first born. They just pull the dick. You might not be fully formed yet. No, I'm kidding. I'd show it back. My kid can't have a bigger dick than me. The thing is, if you shrink the taint, it doesn't matter if this is going front or this is going back. It's just meeting in the middle, right? Yeah, but it changes all the physics and everything. In fact, I wouldn't mind to go maybe down and then guess what

dude was doing pile driver all the time. What are you talking about? Your dick's going down? Yeah. He said the butthole's coming towards the dick and the dick's going

towards the butthole. If a tank is shrinking, one's going towards the other. You want your dick to be pointing down just for pile driver? No. Because then missionary

becomes hard. Look, here's the deal, dude. I don't want to get gross on this podcast. Never. But, like, if your butthole's coming up, it's going to start proving, depending on how much it's coming up, it's going to prove an issue in the bathroom. You're going to shit on your dick? You're going to shit outright. Yeah, like, we need to, like, redesign toilets and everything.

Yeah, it'd be a whole thing. Or you'd have to just do it standing up. You'd have to take a dump in the position guys are standing during pile driver. Shit like this. I mean, I used to think that dicks were... When I was a little kid, I used to think that dicks were going to go out. I thought your dick was like a 90 degree angle from your body. When you got hard, it just went... Instead of up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your thought your dick was like a 90 degree angle from your body. Like, when you got hard, it just went like, you know, instead of like up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your dick's kind of like a... So, this would be the opposite of that. I'd be putting it down. It's like an elephant trunk. It's going down, down. By the mind, I don't want my ass holding on to my dick. Next up.

Hey, KFC. Hey, Fights. Quick question for you. Who do you think as a professional athlete has the most time on live television? Meaning like it could be either commentary, career after the fact. But I'm not, no highlights, no anything. I'm talking just straight live television. I was thinking maybe Brady or maybe LeBron,

but the seasons aren't that long. So, I mean, the next possible... I was thinking maybe Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson. I don't know. Maybe some sort of racer. I don't know. Yeah, but prime time TV oh oh

he said prime time I think he just he said commentary right play back I thought he said who has had the most prime time

who do you think as a professional athlete has the most time on live television okay yeah

that's gonna be probably I think Hank Aaron was in the TV era. But did he go into broadcasting afterwards? Oh, okay. All right. So what about A-Rod? A-Rod might be up there. Keith Hernandez might be up there. Keith Hernandez.

Because Keith is like, he's been on SNY since the beginning. Vin Scully might have a real Is it have to be an athlete Or just sports If it was just sports it would probably be Vin He did it for like 60 years Troy Tripp Charles Barkley

Charles 82 is a lot And he's been doing inside the NBA for a long time It's gotta be Ripken He played the most games The longest game. Does he broadcast? Yeah, but the broadcasting is at him 20 years. Oh, he said we are at him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Eckersley. Eck, I don't think was in the booth his whole post-career. And also, you know, as a closer, you're only out there like a little bit. Yeah, but he's still on TV. Oh, oh yeah i guess he's saying time on tv yeah yeah so like uh you know a position player on a baseball team that got a lot of play had a long career and does a broadcasting career i don't know if he doesn't want i would really start split hairs but like

keysman isn't on tv when he's in on. And then he's very rarely at bat. Does that count? I think it does, but like... Yeah, because, well, also, if you want to talk about it, he's, his voice is on the broadcast, like, on the television. Yeah. Because that's only like in the very beginning of the game, and after the game, but if it's just like on the broadcast, um... Bill Walton,

maybe. Bill Walton. Bill Walton out there. He's been, uh, it's gotta to be NBA. Probably his baseball. I will maybe think that NBA could work because 82 games is a lot as well. Football is just not enough time. No, agreed. I like Keith.

Oh, Madden. But again, you know. Yeah, he didn't play much. He has the years, but not the – Boomer. No. You've got to be a guy, a part of a network who does every game instead of just like a,

you know, Sundays or something like that. So it's whatever baseball player, whatever baseball television channel has, uh, the athlete, you know? Yeah. I think,

I think Keith might be, if you're accurate, like he's done it forever. He's been around since the beginning. SNY. I think he has been like, yeah, I think it's pretty hard might be it. If you're accurate, he's done it forever. He's been around since the beginning of SNY. I think he has been, right? Then, yeah, I think it's pretty hard to beat Keith Hernandez. The yes guys have David Cohn. He came in.

Paul O'Neill came in. But they're all quick. I know Cohn's pretty relatively new, right? Right, right. So that would be interesting. I'm sure somebody can maybe do the math. Jalen Rose maybe isn't so bad because then you're getting Michigan too. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, college. It's a great question. Really good question. I'm going with Keith Hernandez. Last question. What do we got? What's going on, guys? John here.

Calling in with a quick question. Huge fan of the show. Hypothetical. Who wins in a cage fight? Both in their prime. MMA, UFC. Who wins in a cage fight? Both in their prime. MMA, UFC rules. Bundy or Dahmer?

You let me know. Huge fan of the show. Love listening. I'm over here in beautiful sunny Aruba. Got a bunch of friends down here. You got to do a live show down here. A lot of fans in the area. Looking forward to it. I think this is a Dahmer no-brainer.

Really? I was going to say the opposite. It all depends on that. Ted Bundy, 6 feet, 165. Damn, that's a skinny 165. Skinny 6 feet. Dahmer, 6.

This also now says Bundy, 5'10". Man, dudes be lying about their weight everywhere, huh? Lying about their height everywhere. It would be... It doesn't really... Oh, yeah, maybe this one here.

I think this guy caught him from a Ruba, by the way. Yeah. Shout out to him. Oh, that was a Ruba? Yeah. How is his weight not here? How about this, by the way? How tall is Ted Bundy on CelebHeightWiki.com?

He's next to David Hasselhoff and Sharon Stone. He's a fucking mass murderer. Oh, dude. He's listed 6'1", buck 43. Who are these guys? Even watching that show, I was like, dude, how is everyone – how is he kicking – I guess it was just the first guy. I was like, how are you losing this fight, bro?

I was thinking about that in general, though. Like, it's guy versus guy. It should be, like, a fair fight. I'm getting out of here. Like, we're going to scrap. Or, like, I'm definitely not going to, like, let you fuck me unless you drug me, obviously. But if it's, like, if it's straight up, like, I'm drunk and you're drunk and I'm going to try to, like, pin you down and kill you, like, I would imagine you're banging against the walls and yelling to the neighbors to the point, well, I guess

the cops came and it didn't matter. Right. But, like, that whole thing, I was like, how the fuck does, does, did he kill anybody? Yeah. He's a sloppy, like, guy going against other guys. I'll be honest, those gay guys need to, like, step their game up.

But, dude, all of them were jacked. It's Hollywood, so I don't know what guys actually look like. Every dude he fucked and killed was a fucking problem. Right. But 6'143"? That makes no sense.

They did not portray that well. No, because they made him look really strong. Evan Peters is pretty skinny, so it was skinny strong. did not portray that well no because they made him look like really strong yeah even i mean like evan peters is pretty skinny so like it was it was skinny strong but it was still like it's hard to go find an actor who's 6'1 145 right and unless people like cut weight for it but you would think much like in jack reacher where they're like he's so huge like even though they maybe they physically didn't portray it the idea is trying to convey to the viewer that like he was he was strong he was this would you would almost need to like they should should have told us he was so tall and lean.

And then actually towards the end of that, which was the middle of the series, when he goes to the army, I was like, oh, he got jacked in the army. He was like, no, he was a medic, and then he got kicked out right away. Right. It was 6'1", 145 is like Hank level, like when he was a kid. Yeah, like maybe Hank at 18. Yeah. I'm still taking dommer because i

mean if it comes to fighting at least guys versus fucking uh sneak attacking women i'm gonna take the guy who at least fought guys but it is i i i like my chance in the room with either of them i yeah oh yeah but i think bundy at least was like a cerebral, like, all right, here's how I'm going to get you. Jeffrey Dahmer would be like, I'm going to try to hit you in the face. You know? Yeah, yeah.

He was so not creative in his murder that I feel like Bundy... I guess the difference is when you're going against someone who's a scary murderer, it's just like, like, yeah, we're the same size, but you were willing to kill somebody. Yeah, there's probably a different energy in the room. Yeah, yeah.

I am afraid of you inherently because you kill people, even though. I'm going to have to kill you. Like, that's what you tell me. I'm going to have to kill you to get out of here. Right, right. That's a, you know, chips are down, man. We'll see what fucking happens here. All right.

Our interview today is Johnny Bananas, an all-time legend. And, you know, he's a guy who used to step in the ring with other dudes. And they didn't fight to the death, but damn near close a lot of times. And he wins very damn often. Brought to you by Manscaped. You know Bananas is probably all. He's a guy who used to step in the ring with other dudes, and they didn't fight to the death, but damn near close a lot of times. And he wins very damn often. Brought to you by Manscaped. You know bananas is probably all. Used Manscaped last night or this morning.

I forget. Got a wedding this weekend. Trying to get romantic for it? I did it this morning, too. We're on the same schedule, bro. Depending on how long you like to let it go, we might be on the same. Oh, no. I haven't shaved in two years.

Oh, my God. Heaven's to Betsy. The fact that your dick and balls might look like your face is scary. That's scary. Don't be like John. Don't wait two years. Get your manscaped on because people like you to be a little fresh and clean and smooth. You don't have to be like a teenage boy with it, but you got to keep it cleaned up.

And girls, too. It can be welle-manscaped. But if you're doing any other trimming, you can use the Lawn Mower 4.0. It's got a skin-safe electric trimmer. It is waterproof, and you... Shout-out to Manscaped.

We just had another sponsor of ours say that we need to tone it down, and then we get manscaped. It says, R-rated content's allowed. Their copy to us is, have you ever tried to trim your balls and it turned into a Freddy Krueger film?

And the answer's yes. In the beginning, man, or with an old rusty clipper, when you get the spider bite, and that just pours with blood. It's like I was on my period to do it you see it hard because it well yeah that's good like it was easier than around because when you when you're soft and hanging it rolls and crevices you're basically shaving a pussy at that point he eats dog that's a deep cut deep at 1. That's internet 1.0. Nobody got that joke except for me.

Nobody. Not just the room. I'm talking about the whole podcast, the whole world. Everybody pull out a Nicky Hayden's fucking dog. Walmart 4.0, Weed Whacker, Crop Preserver, Crop Reviver, Magic Mat, all of it. All you need to make sure that you're manscaped and clean. Go to manscaped.com. Promo code KFC.

Get 20% off plus free shipping. It's Johnny Bananas on the KFC radio. What up? What's up, bro? There he is. Holy shit. How we doing, man? It's been too long.

You're still fucking strong, man. I mean, dude. It's like a hug in a bowl. Oh, my God. It's a hard vibe. Well, I mean, this is where I'm supposed to be leaving in a few weeks. And I know I was going to Barstool. You guys are all such fucking fit animals.

Literally, none of us are. Like, none of us. Do you know where you are? Guys, this is Edwin, by the way. What's up, brother? How we doing, bro? Looks like you've already got something doing that. Nice to meet you.

We've clearly outgrown the studio, so it's a whole fucking mess. Look at this, man. We're trying, dude. We are trying. I think the first time we interviewed you was in Erica's office. Was it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We did move up. Yeah, the first. Did you get your hair cut or fleshed? I was just going to ask. You're looking sharp. I did. I have not. I was going to take a trip to.

Dude, I had to make an appointment last time. Dude, yeah. It's worth the appointment because she does work, but it is hard when it's like, I don't know. Last time, me and this dude just ran into each other randomly. Yeah, yeah. Getting haircuts. Yeah, she does a good job.

Good head of hair on you, bananas. I used to go to, thanks, man, genetics. Yeah, I mean, that's all. Genetics and Propecia. Yeah, dude, people who don't get on that are crazy, bro. Do it early. Keep your hair. Who cares about if your dick can't get hard? It doesn't get hard anyways are crazy bro do it do it early keep your hair who cares about if your dick can't get hard it doesn't get hard anyways man so it's fine like that's gonna be an issue you might as well might as well have soft dick with hair rather than soft dick and balls

like fuck it's like shoving toothpaste back into a toothpaste tube um no dude yeah last time was uh last time we did it i used to do the whole whole barstool car wash. Yeah, yeah. We do the quitters. You went through the whole. I drink fucking beer out of fucking big cat's tits. Yeah. I have no idea what's going on. Yeah, dude, it's.

Yeah, I mean, you've been coming around for a while, though, so we've seen it all. It's wild how much people like even that no quitters pod it like it never it we we kind of like reorganize things and people were like all right you know that we had fun with that but we're gonna let it die and like still to this day the fans who did listen to that are like out of all these shows like why does that one get revived why doesn't that one get a look like people fucking i know love it i'll tell you what man there's like it's it's crazy how and i mean you guys are the same way with your fan base but like the challenge has the most rabid fucking fan base on earth dude and i tell people especially

doesn't matter what show they're from big bro like all these people who are now like coming into the franchise i'm like i don't care what you don't know show you guys have been on before you have no idea i love that you're about to do i love that because we get that all the time we're like we'll we'll tell someone like you know be be prepared like our fans might you know be might not be so easy they might say some things like get ready and and i've already had people who get hired here and we're like yo buckle up and they're like uh i came from like xyz or like oh i have like this many followers like i know what's going on and i'm like no you fucking don't buckle up no idea what it's gonna be like our

greatest like honestly one of like the greatest accomplishments i think of our lives is our first ever live show was at caroline's on broadway and and we told them beforehand like just you know we bring a drinking crowd like be ready it's gonna going to get rowdy. They're going to fucking slam. Have double your order on stock. And they were like, listen, we're a fucking comedy club bar on Broadway in Manhattan. We'll be able to handle it, thanks. We did two shows, sold out all the alcohol first show. I think it was like the pre-first show, where they came to pregame. Drank the fucking bar dry.

All that was left was fucking Hennessy. I don't doubt it. This is obviously his first time here, and we were coming here, and I'm just like, dude, it's a different world, man. Yeah, dude. It's a different world. You guys are cut from a different cloth, man. Well, yeah, the people here are, it's like, we are, especially the guys who were in Boston,

were like, I mean, they just, you know, we were internet 1.0, like, nose to the grindstone, but then the fans are just, they're just fucking crazy man they're crazy people it's like alright I don't know why I don't know what the difference is

wouldn't have any other way well I may be having something there are times where I'm like god damn it stop like don't care this much about Barstool please

but you're right you wouldn't you know the day they stopped doing that I feel like I'm letting them down like I don't do the challenge for a couple seasons I'm like guys

bro you are let me live my fucking life here for a bit like I'm not them down. Like, I don't do the challenge for a couple seasons. I'm like, guys, bro, you are. Let me live my fucking life here for a bit. Like, I'm not a robot. Do you have like equity in that? You should. I should.

You should really because like, what I do for the show now, I'm like an embedded producer at this point. That's what I mean. Like, there's plenty of people involved

and there's a lot of fan favorites, but like, let's be honest. Yeah. You know, like if there's a season without bananas, it's,

it's gonna not be that good. I could not agree more. It would be nice if the higher-ups understood that. Guess who paid for my car coming over here today? Me. MTV's like, oh, we didn't put this in the budget. I'm like, my hotel's two blocks away. The fuck?

Well, they're like, we didn't put it in the budget. Walk your ass over there. Dude, that is crazy. MTV. Guys, you see my hair And I'm wearing Tinted moisturizer I can't have it

Washing off Me too bro Hey It's not makeup That should be That should be The slogan Like

Bananas Like tinted moisturizer It's not makeup It's not It's not Pat's been on that Rip lately too Yeah you got

you went hard over the summer you were he was like looking like the color of this table at the point it gets streaky on my hands yeah yeah tinted moisturizer you gotta do it yo i feel like guys just learned like in society that like you can you can try to not look like a bag of shit yeah you know it's like you don't have to like wear full-blown makeup but comb your hair put on some moisturizer wear some clothes that fit and then it's like oh wait a minute i don't have to wear full blown makeup But comb your hair Put on some moisturizer Wear some clothes that fit And then it's like oh wait a minute I'm not ugly anymore

If we tried a little bit It would be gross Listen here's the deal Why is it okay For girls to have this entire makeover Where they wake up looking one way And then go out looking an entirely different way And we're just supposed to look the same all the time right that's fucking bullshit from the second we wake up

okay we could comb our hair and maybe like you know trim our beard but what we can't wear some fucking throw a little tinted moisturizer a little natural glow come on you know but also when i get like when we hit winter i go like full bear where I stop caring. I don't stop caring about my clothes. I always care about my clothes but I stop doing like I don't get my hair cut anymore. I don't fuck it. I didn't shave my beard all last winter and I don't have a beard like it's really

stringy and gross and I'm going to shave it this year. Don't worry. Thank God. Just when the winter hits I'm like fuck it. Who gives a shit? I wish I could do that. Problem is going back to our fans, they will notice if one of my abs is gone. They'll be like, oh, someone's letting themselves go. Catch a fat shame. CP's over here, puts on 87 fucking thousand pounds, and he has a kid.

They're like, oh, the dad bod's cute. I lose an ab, and they're like, bananas, you might want to hang it up, you fat bastard. Well, we were just talking about this. Did you see this YouTuber guy, The Dream? No. He's a YouTube streamer. He plays Minecraft, the video game, and talks about it. Mostly little kids watch him.

You don't say. He went from 10,000 subscribers to 30 million. Playing Minesweeper? Playing Minecraft in three years. You're a big Minecraft guy. No, my kid is, though. My kid is starting to play it, and I'm like, I don't... What's weird, Minecraft is 2D.

It's not cool. It doesn't look fancy or anything, but the kids fucking love it. I don't know exactly how he monetizes it or whatever. I'm sure he's bathing in money, but he always had a mask on. And then last night, he did this big reveal. 1.3 million concurrent viewers

on a live stream watched him just go like and he looked pretty fucking just like a normal dude. A little bit of a big chin and the internet went nuts. They had hashtag put the mask back on hashtag he's ugly trending. It was like good

because you made millions of dollars without having the internet ever make fun of you. That's breaking the rules. We all are out here getting fucking roasted for every single thing. You have to also. Fuck that. It's like in porn when people wear masks. I think that's unfair. Even though you don't care what they look like.

You're like this isn't fair dude. If I could wear a mask I'd do porn. So the reason I don't is because I don't want to get called out for it. There's a mask right there. Throw me that green thing right there. Would you wear that Nacho Libre? Would you rock that in a porn? Absolutely.

Imagine that. Would I? Yes. I think that would work. That would be my old face. Dude, there's so much of that anonymous, faceless porn going on now. Yeah. Have you seen the ones with the fucking, not only are they wearing masks,

it's fuck, we've talked about this before, I forget the name of it. It's something raw. It's like, maybe tushy raw? They wear full fucking Under Armour cold gear, right? What? So the background's black, and then they're wearing black. Yeah, he's in full Under Armour cold gear, tank top here. I don't even think they ever show his face.

Then he's got Under Armour cold gear on his pants. It's just a floating top. It's very haphazardly cut open, so it's just really wide open around here. So it's like a glory hole. Yeah, it's a floating glory hole. It's like the end of Forgetting Sarah Marshall when he finally does the Dracula play. And they're all in those black outfits. Yes, that's what it is.

That's how they do those puppet shows. Do you know what the guy looks like? Or is it a mystery? No, you don't even know what his body looks like, dude. You don't know what color his dick is. That's it. That's all you got. But that's...

Can you imagine... You can even lose an ad and do that. Right? They'd never know it was me. Can you imagine the, I guess, directors or producers or whatever over there being like, there are guys out there who can't even, like, you are so insecure with your sexuality. You can't watch porn and just know that there's a human male involved. We need to just make the dick floating because there's no way the guys can see his arms or legs or anything else.

I kind of almost have to because that's the only way I can envision it myself being me. That's why I always have to watch porn with guys with small dicks too. That's definitely me. Dick's too big. I'm like, I can't even imagine this. I can't even put myself in this position.

You have though stayed in fucking good shape now for what, like 20 fucking years? I don't know how long. When was the first challenge? So 2006 was my first challenge. That was the duel. I would have bet even a little bit earlier, but yeah. Yeah, so that was season 17, I want to say.

Wait, 13. I'm sorry, season 13. 17 was my Key West season. Season 13 of the challenge was your first season? It was my first, yeah. Holy shit. I would have definitely guessed that you were there from the beginning. No, uh-uh.

You were close to it. But are those also seasons where they do like two a year? Or it's one a year? No, it was one a year. Wow. So the first challenge was in 98? No bananas? 98 was the first one?

98, 99? It was the first challenge? 99, I think, yeah. Because I know they were doing road rules in real world and all that shit. So maybe there were more because you're right. Because if the first one was in, say, 98, and then I did mine in 2007, I don't know the math, but that doesn't add up to 13. But it's close.

It's like 10-ish. So, yeah, so my first was in 2006. It was the duel. I was the first one eliminated, so it was a very poor showing. I didn't think I was going to be invited back. Lo and behold, they did. Talk about an alternate universe when that happened. What was funny is on my Key West,

on my original season, I remember asking one of the producers, Mark Saliga, during our wrap party. And I was like, because one of the only reasons I wanted to do the real world was to go on the challenge. Because I'd watched this back when The Miz was on and obviously CT was in his heyday

and Mark Long, Derek, Brad, all these monsters. Those guys were there from the beginning, right? Mark was. Who was the first? Mark. Yeah, Mark. The Godfather.

Mark's like 1,000, right? Mark, Eric, he's- The fact that he's still kicking, Eric. Dude, Theo Vaughn did a couple seasons in the beginning before he moved on out of his really successful career. Right. But dude, yeah, I mean, Big Rand, Jamie Chung. That's when, like, you know, the original Bad Girls Club, dude.

Right. Coral, Veronica. Coral. Yeah. Corals with Patty. All those girls. Rachel. But it was a different world then, man.

And, yeah, so I did my original. So I asked the producer, the wrap party of my season at Key West, and I was like, Mark, I was like, is there any shot I'm going so i asked the producer the wrap party of my season of key west and i was like mark i was like is there any shot i'm gonna get to go on the challenge he's like yeah there's a there's a possibility though because that's what they used to do the bullpin used to be real world or road rules road rules i think was over at this point but the real world yeah so every season the real world would come on they would have you know three four people join yeah uh yeah they had four of us i think on my original season and then dude I ripped off dude how many seasons after that a few and then so out of the 21

seasons that I did out of actually before I did my 21st out of the 20 seasons that I did I did 17 out of the 20 seasons that they had and the only three I didn't do I just didn't fit the I just didn't fit the

the creative for some reason so and then i had 13 in a row and then i just finally took a break after my last win in total madness and you get paid as like you just go for the prize money or you're gonna pay come on yeah like but it's like but you're not like an employee are you i mean i feel like it i feel like a prison in me come Come on, bro. Yeah, dude. You're great. I'm in white collar prison. No, so yeah. So they, and over the years, I mean, obviously it's funny because they have, you know, obviously pay tiers. Yeah.

So the more you do, the more, you know, they have to have this favored nations thing where everyone has to be treated equally, which is, you know, kind of BS, but. Fuck that. How the fuck. There should be a whole tier called bananas tier. You know what I mean? Believe it or not, that's what it's called. Is it? Good. Because since I've done the most seasons,

I'm the one that's setting the pay scale for the people coming up. You're like a players union. I was going to say, you're like Darrell Revis. I'm not selling up the camp without the fucking bats. Which is, why would I show up on the challenge? People try voting me in. I'm like, listen, motherfucker, you wouldn't be getting paid what you are if it wasn't for me right okay so actually jackie robinson over here actually owe some of that paycheck to me so we can either let you keep

your money or don't vote me in so but yeah dude it's been when you started were you like i gotta make noise like oh yeah and and be like uh you know do some grimy shit or do some crazy shit to get vote like it wasn't even grimy it wasn't like because i didn't know dude my first season i didn't know what the fuck i was doing right i was dude bro i was fresh off six weeks of spring break yeah okay i ran into you at a spring break once yeah yeah we ripped a shot yeah there was one time i had a fucking girl who i was like seeing who into you on spring break, and I was like, oh, he's going to bang my sweet little baby. My sweet little baby. I would never.

I remember we did a shot. I think I said this on the last time we talked, but we ripped a shot. I probably have like Jaeger or something at the time, you know, and you just went, it burns the cockles of my heart. That line stuck with me forever. The cockles of my heart. But yeah, you were doing all that kind of shit with like Student City or whatever the fuck it's called. Yeah.

And then back to, so then you were. Yeah, so we would do, bro, we would go on. This is like psychotic to even think about because now if I go out for two nights in a row, I'm a fucking. Right. One night. I'm like, if I don't get 10 hours of sleep, I'm like, I'm a mess the next day. Dude, I went out for three nights last week and until when and it took me until Wednesday or Thursday to realize I had the flu. I was just like, oh, this hangover

is killing me. You're like, do I have mono? And then someone, my buddy was with was like, yo, I have the flu. Do you? And I was like, alright, there it is. Is this monkeypox? I can't get out of bed. I look back on it and dude, it's just amazing what your body was able to, like the amount

of punishment your body was able to endure the amount of punishment your body was able to endure when you were younger i was like in my early you know early mid-20s 23 24 and yeah we'd do six weeks of spring break where we'd be in a location every night every dude drunk twice a day we'd have to do a beach party okay you get wasted on the beach then you have a few hours to like take a nap go back shower up like freshen up and then we'd go out for the student city party we'd do that for five straight days. Then whatever that crop of kids was from whatever schools they were there from would go home.

We'd have the weekend to like recover. And then it was like, it was like in the military when like, it was like fresh recruits coming in. It's like the, the, like the hardened, you know, war dogs are now going home and it's like this fresh batch coming in. And I'm never, I'd be there. It would be like my fourth week. Right. And these kids would be like, they'd show up and they'd just coming in and i'm never i'd be there it would be like my fourth week right and these kids would be like they'd show up and they'd be ready to rage and they'd be like let's take a fucking shot man and i'm like guys i'm good yeah you pussy i'm like

listen when you were in class studying for midterms last week i was here getting fucked up right and next week when you're back in in school like recovering, I'll still be here. Yeah, exactly. So who's the pussy? That's like, I mean, anytime even when we would do parties for Barstool and it's like, let me buy you a shot, man. It's not cool. You do that and then another one buys you another one. And eventually you're saying no and people are like, come on, man.

I thought you partied. It's like, I do. I'm seven shots deep. It's fucking 8 o'clock. There's one of me yeah there's 500 of you if i took exactly i took a shot with ever so when i i don't do them anymore when i used to bar appearances i'd tell the bartenders at the end of the night i'm like if anyone buys me a shot just like mix up like some fucking iced tea or something really smart

man just make it look like a shot and i'll take that's the other thing brilliant you get called out for doing the pour over the i just do that too I'd like pour it on the ground pour it over my shoulder your shoulder is crazy yeah you got to do the dip yeah I knew I watched a buddy once

he was fucked up at the time so he like obviously didn't pull it off well he did like a cartoon like yeah and it just landed on some girl's shoulder

yeah we almost got in a fight because it was like yeah I'm sorry my buddy just threw a shot of whiskey on you but you got to just do a little tip. Yeah.

So my first season, dude, this was off six weeks of Cancun or wherever the hell I was. And I went in and I'm like, I didn't know there was a whole game being played around me. I just thought it was a party. Yeah. We're going to do some carnival games. We're going to hang out. We're going to chop it up. People fucking love me.

I was just trying to explain. She's younger, so she hadn't watched and i was like the challenges like there's the gameplay part but like the you got to be in shape yeah do these things you're climbing mountains and jumping off of fucking obstacle courses yeah lifting shit like you can't go into that and just be an average dude can you are there anybody who's like yeah there here's the thing though is it all depends on the game it's weird dude the game has like evolved and then like taken on like and then morphed into something else so it obviously started out as like these like weird backyard carnival games like melt a block of ice with your body put paint on your body and smear it on a canvas like dumb shit that anyone could do then once it was taken over by justin booth who's still one of the executive producers

he turned it then into like a sport yeah and he turned it into like the challenges where you had to be in shape dude when i first started doing the challenge there was no gym in the house you'd show up you'd be in shape and then you just turned into a fat slob by the end right right yeah all the alcohol you could drink right you ate shit uh you weren't able to work out but then once people the more people started training and showing up for this then they had to kind of almost adapt the show to the people who showed up right so they started putting fitness equipment in the house now you show up it's like dude it's like a fucking college gym when you when you enroll but now it started then what started happening was the same people obviously kept winning and and people

who showed up who weren't in great shape were just going to be picked off so now what they've done is it's still very physical and very athletic but now they've added this whole puzzle element yeah there's a puzzle element everything you gotta have a fucking brain so now it's like and i'm not great with puzzles all right i'm not i mean i'm okay but i'm not great like and the puzzles have gotten more. I don't even know if bananas can read. Sometimes. It depends. The funnies.

I'm good with those. But now it's even morphed into this other thing now. And I think what they're trying to do is they're trying to add more. They want anyone to win. They want a level of playing field. But if I went on the show when it's like take this and run it up the hill 50 times I'd be like I just can't do that bro

I haven't fucking worked out in 20 years but that's the thing then you'd probably get put into elimination and then listen if it's something physical you might not but if there's a puzzle element to it there's some people who literally have made it through an entire season just based on the fact that they are strategic players

and they're smart and they're good at puzzles. That's why the show is so difficult is because you can't be one thing. I've seen, dude, I've seen guys in the freak athletes, dude, show up to this show. People in fantastic shape. And if they haven't trained properly for what we have to do

or if they're not smart or if they can't strategize or if they don't have can't play tic-tac-toe you're out you can't play you're out we just did our girl jackie did a uh we did surviving barstool where you stay yeah in here for 24 hours a day for like a week so it's much shorter or whatever yeah but they every day they had to do a challenge and it was like you know there's a puzzle involved one was like you have to stand on a stump a wooden stump for as long as you possibly can and yeah and even just watching these guys i was the host of it so i didn't have to do any of it but i'm watching them go through it all yeah and like worrying about

is it going to be we have to eat something gross or is it going to be physical or is it going to be brains or whatever and that was like a week four days you know and they were all fucking freaking out talking about voting people off i mean how so how long is the season for you guys? So they vary. So they used to be a month. Yeah, so these guys did four or five days. They're nine weeks now. The one I just did, Ryder guys, yeah, nine weeks, dude.

Imagine doing that, Jackie, for nine weeks. Four days in, she was like, ah, I'm done. I can't hang it. Four days. Four hours, dude. But you guys are still all, like, fucking each other and partying, too, right? To an extent, man. I mean, here's the thing.

So nine weeks is like, yeah, this game play sucks, but I'm banging this smoke and we're partying. But here's what ends up happening, dude. When you show up, okay, there's a few things that are an issue with that. First of all, if you, anytime you hook up with somebody in the house house you have now hitched yourself to that wagon yeah yeah strategically now first of all you've now driven away so any other girl in the house that may have like i don't know voted for you or not voted for you now you are basically like closed off from them but also now whatever nonsense this girl gets herself into which she's gonna you then have now you have to basically co-sign yeah yeah yeah it's like a work wife i was gonna say it's like a work wife but

like to the fucking max where it's like i'm a work wife but she couldn't like put out the fire of the fucking volcano that we had to climb or if she gets if she gets mixed up with somebody in the house and now it's like again you have to like, again, you have to vouch for her. No. No, bitch. We're just banging. You can't. We're just on a reality show.

You're not my girlfriend. You can, but then you're in trouble with her. So either way. Exactly. And it makes it difficult because you now have to see this person day in, day out, every single day. It's not like normal. You meet someone in real life, and you hang out, and then it's like you don't see him for a day. You see him 21 hours a day.

You don't call yet. You see him every day, day in, day out for weeks. You're at least known as being one of the guys who's pretty cutthroat and doesn't give a shit. But like even you would be like, all right, I don't want to like shit where I eat. Yeah. I mean, like, but what I'm saying, even you could just like hook up with these girls and be like, I don't give a fuck about you.

But you're seeing them that often that even you're like, oh, man. So here's the thing. So for the last few seasons, I've been in relationships. So I didn't even have that option. This is actually the first season that I've gone into, Ride or Die is the one that's coming out, where I've been a free man. Oh, boy. And yeah, that doesn't last very long. Yeah.

But you guys all like kind of, it seems like you cozy up almost rather than just like you can't you can't fuck like everybody no and I'm not that way either here's the other thing I'm a 40 year old man yeah okay I actually I actually celebrate my 40th birthday on this season uh which is kind of cool yeah I know man just gonna die that was rude I'm actually glad though that I did it because it's like 40 is not something that I necessarily want to like, you know. I didn't necessarily want to celebrate. So the fact that like I was able to do it on TV. I mean, there was a string where I celebrated like three or four birthdays on the challenge in a row.

Really? Yeah. You're like the Truman Show, man. You're like, we've watched you fucking live this. I say that all the time. I'm like, dude, have you seen the Truman Show? I've literally grown up on television. And what's annoying is people are still Watching me when I was 24

And being like you're a fucking asshole Yeah that was 17 years ago Just because you're binging it now doesn't mean that You've probably changed a little bit Over the course of a decade and a half Would you have kept the money again If you did it right now when you fucked over that chick Yes

I grew I changed That's different That wasn't like i was immature that was just like i was just thinking i'm just you know i that was retribution man well i'm a vindictive bastard and she had fucked you over yes okay then i don't remember the exactly and that is what gets lost in translation a lot of times is everybody knows about the infamous money grab when i stole 275 000 for my partner what people forget is that show's called rivals right we're rivals for a reason we were rivals because two seasons prior to that or three or however it was

she basically used me as an ally the entire game and then when she had her opportunity she sent me into elimination against my best friend. And it didn't need to happen that way. We had a layup that we had brought to the end that was supposed to go in. That's completely fair. A hundred percent. And they put you together for this season. And you hope or you think, and I guess this is why they're smart,

you think that maybe you forgive each other and become like partners and so you were you were able to work with her but you were also like the whole time no the twist didn't that twist wasn't revealed until the final right no but i'm saying like what so when you guys were partners right were you still mad at her the whole time yeah but listen dude again i'd imagine some people like well let bygones be got bygones we're just going to compete together and then we do split the money and the whole time you're like whatever we'll do what we gotta do but fuck you so the way that i saw it was like i knew going in like we were the only ones that were truly rivals because we had this very public like very well-known yeah you know dust up breaking our relationship whatever you want to

call it so again putting my producer cap on it's like we go in and every one day one's like oh yeah we used to be rivals but we're best friends i'm like no no no fuck that like we need a story arc here okay no we need to start off hating each other even if she wants to be friends we're gonna start off hating each other and then we're gonna you know do well as as as a team we're gonna win some then we're gonna have like this amazing moment where now we're best friends again and then we're gonna ride off into the sunset which was the plan up until right we got to the sunset tj's like oh you can take the money away from your partner. And I'm like, all right, well. See ya. Sayonara. It is interesting that you, like, did the producers come to you with that?

Or you're thinking, like, let's make this interesting so that we get money and we're fucking famous. They didn't need to. They knew what they were doing. It's natural. And the reason that that twist was put in place was because of me and Sarah. The other teams didn't even work on it, but the money. But they knew that either I was going to take it from her

or she was going to take it from me. How quickly did you need to make that decision? Immediately. As soon as TJ's like, here's the twist, I'm like, I know what I'm doing.

You knew, yeah. Right away, the only thing is I knew what I was going to do. I'm just like, A, I have to be the one that comes out the most points so I can do it

and B, I'm going to have to figure out some way to justify this so I'm not absolutely cremated on fucking social media which i was right but what's so funny is even pointing out like you're gonna get roasted but like whatever i'm roasted with 275 000 more dollars in my pocket that was basically the way i the way i just and plus you are like again the like the fucking the mtv challenge guy yeah like if you

were like some no name or whatever it's like i don't know i'd probably still take the money no matter what i mean dude it's like i didn't realize it was that much money yeah the way i looked at it was 275 000 is a lot to not take from someone if you're good friends with them right right there are very few people in this world that i would not have done that to not to mention the fact that this is somebody who I had a very public fractured relationship with. Who would you have split it with? Fucking Leroy all day long. Nani. I mean, there's a lot of people.

Mark? Yeah, absolutely, dude. People that I consider friends outside the show. It's like, I didn't talk to this girl. Would you split it with CT? Probably not. He wouldn't split it with me. No shot.

There's no chance. Regardless of what that guy wants me no shot there's no chance regardless what that guy wants to say there's no chance um but uh yeah so i mean that was and and here's the other thing when it comes to like that moment also the way i looked at it was like producers put this twist in for a reason yeah how stupid would it have been if all three pairs would have been like no we're gonna split they'd have been like this is a fucking what like I saw it as a as a moment

to make good television yeah no it was like TV history bro yeah and I'm like it was crazy had I split the money we would not still

be here talking about it right no no way you know so you made a career I did it for the fans yeah so the fans the fans actually

stole the money from Sarah it was not me you have yourselves to blame brilliant the fans yeah all right so the new season is is ride or die tell people everything they need to know so ride or dies is my 21st season is the first season that I've come back I took a two year two season hiatus after my last win in Total Madness. It was kind of a retirement, right? Because I remember people posting the Jordan rings and all that kind of shit. No, I'd post those. It wasn't a retirement. Listen, I'm never going to say I'm retired. I hear people do that because then they come back out.

It's like, listen, the only time I retire is when I'm literally physically or mentally no longer able to do these things. Because, dude, yeah, I'll have fucking tennis balls on my walker at some point but uh yeah so i took a few seasons off after total madness i mean that one really put me through the ringer like you know mentally and physically and emotionally so i needed some time off covid was it was a weird time too um and i just felt like this was the right time to come back so this the challenge is called ride or dies uh we're paired up with our ride or dies so that could be a sibling a significant other uh uh uh you know someone that you're in a relationship with whatever best friends yeah and uh yeah so i'm gonna be paired up with uh nani this season we obviously

have a pretty uh storied a pretty storied past. We don't need to get into that. We've been friends for a really long time. Out of all of the pairs in the season, I think me and her fit the definition of ride or die is the best. She's done, I think at this point, she's done 13 seasons. She's made it

to three finals, never won. The pressure's on. Get her the dub, never won. So the pressure's on. Get her the dub, bro. For me to get her the dub this season. Kevin Durant in it? Yeah. Did you win at home? Jesus Christ.

If I don't have enough pressure as it is, I come in. It's like if I come in and I don't win, people are like, oh, man, you're a complete failure. And if you do win, it's like, well, of course, it's bananas. You're in a tough spot. Good. I mean, I'm always in a tough spot because everybody, it's like, I'm so jealous sometimes going in and getting to watch like these new kids or even people who haven't really done anything on the channel before.

They just get to like chill. Right. Right. Day one, I got to like clock in because it's like people are going to start, are going to try and get, even people who never met me. Yeah. We get there and she's like, we got to get rid of this motherfucker. It is impressive.

You ever hear one of my favorite quotes? It's Saban and Belichick. They're in their documentary they had where they're sitting down and they say, they both agree, when you've been the mountaintop for so long, eventually you become the mountain.

Yeah. Sure. That's the mountain of MTV, bro. It's true, man. I mean, or like they say, the higher on the ladder you get the bigger your target the bigger target on your ass gets yeah and that's how it's been man but i mean it's like i wouldn't i wouldn't take it i wouldn't have it any other way dude i mean it's like i kind of made

this bed and i'm okay sleeping in it and i like coming back this season is the first time i didn't know how i was going to be received so since i did my last season i actually started a challenge podcast called death taxes and bananas um so because those are the only guarantees in life how I was going to be received. So since I did my last season, I actually started a challenge podcast called Death, Taxes, and Bananas. So, because those are the only guarantees in life. So it actually, it was actually cool

because not only was I not on the show, so a lot of like these, whatever you want to call them, rivalries or issues that I have with cast members, like they kind of like cooled off because I wasn't there competing against these people. They were able to establish new rivalries or issues that I have with cast members. Like they kind of like cooled off because I wasn't there competing against these people. They were, they were able to establish new rivalries with different people. It's almost like they kind of forgotten about me a little bit.

And I had a bunch of people on the podcast, so we were able to kind of like neutralize it that way. So that helped. And then also having Nani as my partner this season, she's stuck with it and she's got, she's tied to a lot of people in the house this season. So she kind of makes my life easier in that regard. But again, dude, it's like my life's never easy. So it's as turbulent as any season I've had to do in the past, and it's going to be a good one. Amen, brother. So everybody go check it out.

Taxes and Bananas too. That's a great one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we appreciate it, bro. Thank you so much, man. It's been real. A pleasure as always. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.