KFC Radio - Feits & The Kids Define The Meaning of Success - Full Episode
Episode Date: August 8, 2024Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:36 No updates on the Troll Farm Situation 03:15 Hells Angels and Simone Biles 07:46 Favorite & least favorite things about ourselves 16:33 Who is the most beloved ...celebrity? 20:56 Who is the most successful person in your eyes? 28:49 What is something popular now that annoys you? 34:18 Worst person to be stuck in an elevator with 41:33 Strangest themed restaurant you've ever heard of? 46:35 What are your 2 year goals? 50:28 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ PRESENTED BY MANGO SHOTTA: Stay Spicy with Mango Shotta https://www.mangoshotta.com/ Cann: Head to DrinkCann.com and use code KFC20 for 20% off your order of Cann and a free Roadie 6pk sampler.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
So you, what I'm picking up is you really like...
Welcome back to another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network.
What's up?
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Okay.
It is the three of us.
I guess we should give an update on last episode.
I have no update.
I don't know.
What happened before the episode,
I was talking to some of the people who were doing the DMing,
and they were like, I don't know. Or not even the people who were doing the dming and they were like ah
i don't know or not even the people who were doing it people who were around it and they're like i
don't know i think it's kind of like on the fence if it's true or not and then after the episode i
walked out there and everyone was like do you guys go in and that's because that's true as hell
and i was like oh i wish i talked to you guys beforehand it would have got me more gassed up
uh but i actually i don't can we just call her
um is that crazy i don't think i don't really have any interest in that
we're never gonna know yeah what are you gonna do i'll yeah but you should call her
what what do you even say like hello it's your old co-worker i think about troll farms
it's kind of crazy there was no response for them they had to have seen it right
i would imagine so i don't know i i don't i have no idea i i honestly i don't think it's true
i i don't think it's true i it would be such an insane move that i can't i just can't imagine that would be like very out of character for for her though that's
what i said and people tended to disagree with me on that too it's also like yeah nothing surprised
me anymore like around here like i don't know like it could it could very well i i don't think
that's her character but nothing surprises me anymore yeah i don't i don't. I don't think that that's her character, but nothing surprises me anymore.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't really care.
Hells Angels.
I was at a bar the other day, and the Hells Angels were there.
And none of them rode Harleys, and that upset me a lot.
Wait.
I have a question.
Why?
Is there, like, a function to the handlebars being so high
no it just looks cool uh yeah it doesn't even look cool like that it looks like you're like
a child yeah if if i if i had that i would i would get in a car accident on the highway
because i have fun fact about me it's my my limbs go numb really like when i'm like laying in bed either in the
morning or at night playing like the new york times word games yeah i can't finish
if if and if i'm it's a weird hungover thing with me now it's like i wake up and i'm i feel
like just like a potato because i can't feel any it's like i wake up and i'm i feel like just like a potato
because i can't feel any of my limbs i got my nerves checked because i was kind of like i went
and got my nerves checked too i was like because it's just in this position my neck doesn't get
sore at all but if this is how i play i play like this and i can get through maybe the mini
and wordle or maybe the mini, like maybe two of the games.
And then it's just, then I take a break because my hands get too numb.
You guys have poor blood flow.
I know.
I think that that is.
You need more, what is it, iron?
What it is.
Oh.
Magnesium?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I do, I do have that same issue.
The little person handlebar question reminds me.
Is Simone Biles, so is Simone Biles 4'8 or 4'10?
Technically a midget.
Right.
Right?
I believe, I mean, that's at least the old wives tale or the rumor.
I've heard the under five.
Yes.
Okay.
I was going to say, she doesn't have to have to like why doesn't she qualify for the paralympics
that would be funny you technically qualify for the paralympics like it's honestly just unfair
you have to go compete with the normies like imagine Simone Biles at the Special Olympics.
Yeah, but Simone's like,
yeah, this is not fair.
Now, is she that small
because the jumping
has stunted her growth so much
or do you think she was always
going to be that small?
Because she's landing pretty hard.
There's no way.
I always thought that
that was a thing.
I always thought that...
I gave that too much respect as you posed that question.
You don't think that there's any chance that because they're coming down so hard.
I always thought that that was what it was.
What do you mean, dude?
I bet if she never did one flip in her life, she would be at least 5'2".
If she never does a flip, she's a WNBA point guard now.
Yeah, I think that that stunts your growth 100 but she didn't start yes
you started like obviously she was young when she was doing gymnastics but like when she started
gymnastics at four or whatever age it is you start that she was definitely already tiny yeah but she
could have grown to five two instead she's five eight four eight four at four eight this is crazy
steve what i think maybe like they're stocky individuals
so maybe like the lifting
the lifting as kids could be
no no no
there's a big difference
I don't
look I obviously don't know what I'm talking about
but I
so let's say
I have a real fear of one day
having a kid and he's taller than me.
That pisses me off.
You just drop him.
The idea of that.
And if so, let's say I don't want him taller than me, every day I'm just like, start jumping.
Before he wants his breakfast, he has to do 10 jumping jacks or something like that.
I think they would at least take off like two to three inches.
I mean, they're all really short.
Think about what you told when you were younger. younger like don't live too young or that's
gonna stunt your growth yeah i mean that's i heard that from my dad yeah i don't know if there's
science behind it i don't know if there is either but that's what i was told all the time i heard
they feel like my uncle my dad my dad told me that and but also bought me a weight bench in fifth
grade when i was five years old.
So I don't know.
Maybe it was fifth grade.
I forget.
It was a five minute.
It was young.
It's like coffee can stunt your growth.
Huh?
Coffee?
Everything can stunt your growth, but it doesn't change your body type.
Yeah.
I think that my height is my favorite thing about myself.
Oh.
No one had asked.
Shut the fuck up.
That was crazy.
Anyway, you guys notice that I'm quite tall?
No, because I'm saying I feel like I'm not that tall.
I'm 5'7".
I'm not crazy tall, but I'm not crazy short.
And I just really like that about myself.
I don't know what that anybody else. And I just really like that about myself. I don't know about anybody else.
And I also really like my legs.
What's your favorite thing about yourself?
Probably my height, honestly.
Wait, Jackie, how tall do you think fights is?
How tall do you think I am?
How tall do you think Steve is?
I feel like you two are similar.
You're probably a little...
Because when I'm told my height it varies
four to five inches every time it's really people will tell me i'm six three people also tell me i'm
five ten or five nine it's crazy you're six one i'm six one yeah yeah okay yeah i would say six
six one six one yeah you're probably six one and a half six two yeah i'd say six one
if i said i was six one and a half you'd have permission to
kill me like you guys are like a hinge six four what's your favorite thing about yourself
see if you're nice my favorite thing about me is uh
probably does that have hair yeah yeah that's a good one it's a
yeah it's pretty good to have hair are we going like physical attributes whatever you whatever
you i'll stick physical i guess but like i'm not i'm not a muscular guy but i like i have like okay
calves i'm like johnny i'm johnny drama i just love my cats um wait i'm i like how you were like good can i do you guys mind if i stay physical with this one
it seemed like oh he's going with caps what's i figured out my least favorite thing about myself
the other day wait but i wrote it down you forgot yeah i forgot oh i i don't say okay my least favorite thing is like i don't say like love you in a casual way
like if somebody says like like just like love you i can't like say it in a casual way without
it like without it like really seeming like i'm like spilling my love for somebody you
know what i mean like no i almost never yeah like i like some people just be like i love you but
like with me like it just seems like like even with my family like i i like can't say it back
like i'm just like oh my god it feels like i'm like, I don't know. And I just, it does not roll off my tongue casually.
So you don't say it.
So I, I, I like will say to my family, but like, like the other day, like a guy friend
said it to me and I was like, and then I said it back and it just got so awkward.
It's so awkward.
And like, I literally like didn't talk to him for like two weeks.
Cause I was like, oh my God, he probably thinks I'm in love with him.
How old were you?
Like six months ago.
And I can't.
I can't.
Oh my god.
Anyway, that's my least favorite thing about myself.
I mean, I say I love you.
Yeah, exactly.
To have that skill is something that like you take
for granted i can't i cannot say it's a lie to people yeah no just like i can't say it casually
without like taking the air of the fucking room do you have the do you say an eye with it no i'll
say i'll say i'll say as casually love you love you but I can't I just can't say it
it sounds like you're trying to hide the fact that you actually
really really love someone
love you
I just can't say it
and it's just like
something that I really
can you say it to people you mean it to
like your mom and dad yeah yeah yeah like i i
can say to my mom and dad but like i think about it all the time like i'm just like i think before
like i just have to do like a casual i also do you guys do this like okay wait first what are
what's your guys least favorite thing about yourself well hang on for i is the the love you
with my like with my parents is my favorite love you i have your love you with your dad every time
uh you say love you to your dad every time no to neither of them uh but like occasionally you get
it and yeah that's usually a good job you had a good conversation it's like uh rather things
are going really bad or things are going really good
it's just like
I noticed it
like years and years ago
and it still plays out
to this day
like I can tell
by how much I make them
laugh on the phone
if I'm getting a love
so that has to be
why you're in this industry
right
I don't know
if it's a good conversation
I'll get a love
if it's not I won't it's a good conversation i'll get a look if it's not i won't
it's like the best thing that's ever happened to me i go into every phone call like it's war
i'm like like i'm fucking doing an hour at msg i like start stretching i'm like all right here
it is i gotta fucking earn this one that's crazy i get it like three percent of the time
that is absolutely like why you are a performer.
You've been working for years.
The only way I'll be loved is...
Do you think your parents give each other a head nod mid-dinner like he's getting one tonight?
They have a little meeting before dinner.
There are some times, very recently, maybe even yesterday, I thought I had one.
I thought I had one in the bag.
Didn't get it.
No.
That's crazy.
But you don't do that.
As soon as someone says it to me, I'll say it right back.
You don't dish them out first?
No.
No.
There was one time I was having drunk sex with a stranger and I said it.
And I was like, never doing that again.
What?
That's crazy.
It was very intimate sex and it just came out.
And as it came out, I was like, what the fuck was that?
Oh my god.
That's bad.
She did not return it she does not have my fucking uh baseline where it's like if
someone tells you i love you say it right back she she disagreed she bit her tongue on that one
i always think about like uh just like the epitome of girlhood in my head was like one
time at my sorority we all were like we all were there and this girl came in my head was like one time at my sorority we all were like we all were there and
this girl came in and she was like she had just hooked up with like the hottest senior and she
was like and i said i love you tim in bed it was like his first time ever and all the girls were
like okay it's okay it's okay damage control and we all like sat there and thought about like how
we could like damage control or whatever and it was i was just like oh my god girls are just so
cute did you guys have it come up with a solution no we're just like
and they never talked again see that's the difference in girls and guys we come to the
same solution but we go oh you're a fucking idiot and then we just not even break stride
um yeah what's your favorite thing least favorite thing about yourself
i don't think I make
eye contact very well
I think I avoid
eye contact
I hate when people
bring up eye contact
because they know
we're not bringing
eye contact
I think that's
I'm gonna guess
that's a pretty
popular struggle
in this company
yeah
I don't think
there's anyone here
who you're like
they maintain eye contact
for a long time.
I've been trying to get better at it too.
It's like one of my resolutions is like,
look people in the eye when you talk to them,
but like five seconds go by.
I'm like,
how much longer can I stare at this person?
They think I'm in love with them probably.
I had that who,
oh,
I was,
I was at church this past week and I was like sitting next to my friend.
We got there early.
Yeah.
And I was just talking to her
the whole time like and but you're both sitting in a pew yeah it's extremely close and like intimate
and i kept being like i just want this goddamn mask to start so i can get out of this conversation
because yeah i'm tired of looking deep into your soul right now that's like the number one
thing on love island they're always like i love your eye contact and i'm like i always want like nobody would ever say that about me and like i don't i wouldn't i
wouldn't peg get either you two steve i don't think we've talked enough no i'm not great at it
i'm actually really bad i wouldn't i would actually not
um what was what was your question my question yeah it's like so it's like a pop culture question
it's not relatable i mean it's not like related to the conversation or just say it
who is the most beloved celebrity in the world not by like how many fans they have but just like
there might not just be like one hater for them like who's the most who has zero haters and
it's just 100 loved with this i don't have an answer for this but i have a little side
yeah prediction i think that so everyone like ariana grande like kind of doesn't love her
right now i think after wicked she's gonna be like beloved again and i will be very happy to if that happens just because i feel like
she everyone kind of well again what she did was very wrong but she really like stayed in her lane
and didn't try and like explain herself she like pretty much tore broke up like a family the guy
the spongebob guy on him yeah exactly that. And, like, but she's done that, like, twice.
But she didn't try to explain herself.
And I think that the song, We Can't Be Friends,
it's probably about, like, her ex,
but I kind of feel like it's about the media.
And she's just like, I'm not going to try and explain myself.
Like, eventually we'll be friends again.
And I feel like Wicked is going to make everyone love her again.
And then she will have just been, like, she just stayed in her lane the whole time she didn't try and like
you know like be like do all this to prove that she's a good person or whatever she just like did
her head down worked on her craft that's my prediction okay are you a big ariana grande fan
no but like it sounds like you know i just spend a lot of time thinking about her and her success.
Predicting her future.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm going to see Wicked.
I'm excited to see it.
It looks really good.
But I think two things are going to play against it.
One, they're hiding the fact
that it's a musical,
like they do with every musical.
And two, they are hiding the fact
that it's part one.
I think a lot of people
are going to go see it and walk out and go, what fuck and they're gonna go oh yeah part two comes out next
year oh i think so they're hiding that it's not announced as like wicked part one or wicked the
first or whatever it's just wicked so the casuals unlike yourself yeah walk out but why the fuck
isn't that movie fan yeah yeah it comes out next year whenever
the fuck it comes out um your question was though who's the most beloved i mean paul
rod came to mind yeah um denzel i feel like is uh denzel but if to answer your question
you're probably looking for like a a smaller yeah actor because even even denzel has haters as as closely as within these
walls um the another name that popped up steven rue steven rue well yeah root yeah i don't know
that is steven rue is he's like i i feel like the most beloved person is gonna be one of these guys
who you see him you go oh i love that guy yeah and i think steven root's one of them oh do you love that guy wait was uh is he in reservoir dogs
no no no i'm thinking he looks like the guy in reservoir dogs he's the man he's uh for some
reason get out is the first thing that just came to mind oh yeah yeah but dodgeball i think he's in he does a lot of comedies he does uh oh
yeah office space barry no country for old men i don't remember him in that dodgeball was yes
um unthinkable you ever seen that movie no he's awesome in that unthinkable is just samuel jackson
is our government torturer who just tortures the fuck out of people and that's the
movie he has to do the unthinkable which is just some real fucking torturing and it's just it's a
full movie of them renting out a school and torturing him in the school because like there's
like a nuclear bomb has been placed in DC andC. and they got to find it. That sounds like the most Final Fantasy of all time.
I think Steve Carell for a guy,
Melissa McCarthy for a girl.
Good answers.
Those were good answers.
Steve, can you do me a favor?
Can you go to a topic generator?
We're doing this again? All right, now now we're gonna do a bunch of random topics so first topic is how should success be
measured and by that measurement who is the most successful person you know oh this is fun okay
you go first fuck you said that like you had an answer. No, no, no, no.
All right.
How should success be measured?
That is a very interesting question.
I mean, it has to just be happiness, right?
Yeah.
It just has to be how happy you are.
Well, that's the basic answer.
I don't know.
Like, it's definitively not money.
No.
It's definitively not money. No. It's definitively not fame.
But I do think that it's a formula that has to do with...
And money is a part of it.
Money's a part of it.
You just have to have enough money to live.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
However you want to live.
Yeah.
But aside from that, money I don't think is changing much.
Yeah, but I don't know how you get get i don't know the formula to get happiness but i would say i think that you're
you're in the lead for this for one of the most successful people because your lack of care about
like what people say comment stuff like. I think like almost like free,
you have like a free will
to just like really not worry
about what people are saying
or anything like that.
Yeah.
And I think that is a measure of happiness,
which is the ultimate measure of success.
You stay true to yourself.
Yes.
We need a new barometer for success.
If that is the
response that leads to me
being in the conversation
you're a one percenter
alright nevermind it's money
no I think
I struggle with like
no I was just gonna say like
I think I'm like I have
a fantastic life and i like love every second
of it but i still like have a feeling of like unsatisfaction well that's good you're supposed
to be satisfied right yeah i but i like get down on myself because i'm like wait i should be so
happy like i mean i am happy but i should be so like content you, I mean, I am happy, but I should be so like content.
You know?
No, I do know.
And let me say that if you become content,
if you're like,
well, I'm the producer of KFC Radio,
so I made it.
Exactly, right?
That's probably not where you should be,
so that's good.
Okay.
But will I ever reach a point of being like... Probably not, but wouldn't that be boring? Yeah, that's good okay well but but will i ever reach a point of being like probably not but
wouldn't that be boring yeah if if you just got if you're like well i've achieved everything
it's like the same thing as like ignorance is bliss like if i if i was just like
like i made it producer of kfc radio that's it like i'm happy for life then like that would just
be an awesome life yeah if you're
fully content the whole time then it's like there's nothing else you need to be a loser though
but in your head you're not but yeah but in my head i'm not but you know everyone thinks you are
like that like yeah i mean that i i can't tell you how success is measured i can tell you how
losing is measured it It's contentness.
You're like, all right, I'm done.
I finished.
Then you lost.
I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.
But you have to reach a point at some point where you're like, all right, I'm done.
I don't think so.
Obviously, I'm not anywhere near retirement age but
like if i if i just woke up and i had nothing to do that day i would be exceptionally bored
yeah yeah like i i it's not something i've ever thought about really but i'm talking it out now
like i i would want to have a job until i die yeah i don't want to retire yeah you have just got nothing to do yeah you have no goals
no uh aspirations no you just like i wake up and like well i got nothing to do today yeah i don't
get sunday scaries like i'm dreading the week because like i love coming into work i get just
sunday scaries in terms of like oh i have a full day and like i actually don't have anything to
like that i need to do today
other than like grocery shop and everything like that and i hate sundays because i'm just like
there's too much time you know on a sunday yeah yeah you can get fucked up
then that makes my monday i'm also at a point then i just have yeah you might say you're at
about a point where like hangovers are you must say you're at a point
where like hangovers are bad
no hangovers are bad
but like the mental hangover
like Sunday
I also just hate
because it's just like
why did I say that
why did I say that
why did I do that
why did I
oh my god
why did I tell that guy
I love you
has your Tourette's been bad lately
oh my god
it's been incredible
I've just been having
full blown conversations with myself what literally yes me and Jackie share this thing like when we're having has your uh Tourette's been bad lately oh my god right I've just been having full-blown
conversations with myself what literally you and Jackie share this thing like when we're having a
lot of usual usually anxiety or just anxiety in general it's just like talking to yourself
and just kind of like tweaking out at an hour like I'll have a flashback from the night before
I'm like you fucking yeah damn it it's like i have to like get it out yesterday fucking like i'm wearing the big patty the baddie right and dave walks by and he's like because he was
like on the street and he was like oh i saw the patty the baddie like sweatshirt i was like who
the hell is wearing that and i go i just go yeah i don't know why i was just like yeah I don't know why it's so big he didn't ask
why it was so big
he literally just
pointed out the sensor
and been like oh I forgot that we had those
yeah
it's crazy
so much anxiety after just being like
why did I say that
what oh my god, I literally had so much anxiety after just being like, why did I say that? Why did I say that? What?
Oh my god.
Anyways.
You and Dave are very, feels very much like Liz Lemon when she has a line once where she
like, she botches some interaction and she just walks away and goes, another successful
interaction with a man.
You're that, but just with Dave.
No, I'm not with every.
Here's the thing when i go out i need like warm-up conversations like whoever i'm talking to first i'm like fuck this sucks
you're my warm-up like it's gonna be awkward like you're you're gonna get uncomfortable you're not
gonna enjoy this conversation and i'm so sorry about that like even like you give your first
first conversationalist the King Leonidas 300 speech
before you rape somebody.
You will not enjoy this.
Like, sometimes, like,
if I'm Ubering somewhere
and they start talking to me,
I'm like, thank God.
Like, I can warm up
with this Uber driver right now.
And then once I get to the function,
it takes about, like,
two or three times
before I'm like,
all right,
now we're kind of nailing this. And I'm just like, like oh my god can you just be a normal fucking person do you think
that has to do with maybe the drinks you're having um you said that you said that i caught that too
when i start talking booze i fall into irish pretty quick um it could be but also it's like
even like on like a like now on a podcast like i don't like
i need like 30 minutes yeah until like you know i say something of any kind of substance not that
i'm even ever saying anything of substance you know what i mean but like with everything i need
a warm-up it and it's like i just i also have like a i'm just slow to things in general i need like even like with
testing i would get all the first questions wrong and then the rest of them i would start to get
them right but like i would be like you know what i mean anyways i just need to warm up
all right next topic what is something popular now that annoys you djs oh yeah djs like the bar or no no like our djs
back in djs are so back man and i think i get i think i get really annoyed because i'm really not
in on it and i don't enjoy it but everyone else is enjoying him so much but i just can't fucking
stand this dj era that we're in and i can't wait to get out of it like we're already back in dj
back in dj air i guess it was like 15 years ago he'll be like what the fuck is up with john summit
i just i don't get it dude everyone's obsessed with like the
fame popular djs right now and we'll pay like a crazy amount of money to go see them at a bar
you can just listen to his music you can literally just play it like it's not playing anything live
i don't i don't i don't
get house music so it's just like i understand that a lot of people do but like yeah i think
it's stupid for one i don't think if it doesn't have lyrics i can sing along to or dance to yes
i don't want it i agree with that it makes it impossible to even talk to a girl even dance
with a girl or something like that because what what are you going to do? Just this the entire time? Yeah. I mean, you guys are.
It's crazy that this is already happening.
And this was when I was your age.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It would fuck it like 2008 to 2015.
Like Avicii?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, we have like Avicii.
We have like 15 Avicii's right now.
That's crazy.
John Summit, I know that name i would i did
not know djs were back in yeah because yeah you're like me you're white and and if i'm gonna get a
girl home it ain't gonna be with my moves i gotta be how about we go to a speakeasy
whiskey bar a little irish bar down a little wood chips on the floor
you can't really hear much music and i just talk to you that's where i thrive what's popular that
annoys you uh the you know i was actually thinking over the weekend because a few people were still
tweeting about f1 and i was like remember what everyone prepared pretended to care about that
for three months that was great that was the most disingenuous movement i've ever been i've ever
witnessed i think vegas flopped so bad when they did it in Vegas about a year ago.
Yeah.
And that kind of was just like, all right, this thing sucks.
I mean, it was crazy.
Every woman was tweeting about it, and every time I saw it, I was like, you don't believe what you're saying.
I was like, this is great.
I hope Max Verstappen does well.
Shut up.
But it's a cool sport.
They are cool people. Yeah. cool sport. They are cool people.
Yeah.
For sure.
They are cool.
I have no interest in watching it.
No.
But the athletes themselves, I see the appeal.
I think, what's his name?
Not Laird.
Lewis Hamilton.
I believe he owned two $25 million apartments on the same street in New York.
Really? They're bananas. yeah like they have insane money which is crazy because who is i guess it's all just rich people that are kind of funding
it so that's why they have so much money because rich people are the only people that can afford
to go yeah it's like golf yeah it's like it's a it's a not small number but it's definitely a
minority like viewed sport numbers wise but the demographic of the people who
watch it and consume it yeah yep how did how did nascar and f1 get so far from each other
like branding wise like nascar americans and europeans
yeah there's uh One of them are
Historically considered
Suave and intelligent
And sexy
Another one's considered
Fat and loud
What kind of sport
Where would
Golf originate from?
Golf? Scottish
Scottish
Yeah that checks out
I believe so
At least according to
A Robin Williams stand up bit
He does all things
In a Scottish accent
It's very funny
The Skateboarders In the Olympics I believe so, at least according to a Robin Williams stand-up bit. He does all things in a Scottish accent. It's very funny.
The skateboarders in the Olympics.
Sexy.
And they put them in really cool outfits, too. Aren't they all, like, 12?
No.
No, I've looked a lot of them up.
Some of them are.
Those ones aren't as hot, but they do show potential.
No, the, like, 24-year-old of age ones.
To clarify.
Sexy.
There's one like 51-year-old.
Really?
I wasn't, he wasn't sexy, but he was 51.
Yeah.
I think I would, who's the oldest Olympian?
Can we look that up?
He probably had to have been.
I think that's like a 62 year old ping pong oh really
oh yeah that well oh yeah 51 was that turkish dude yeah the shooter yeah that's right i also
okay the horse jumping people you're not you're not the athlete yeah the horse is the athlete
and i'm so scared that the horse doesn't like know that he's the athlete what if he doesn't know that he's like an olympic gold medalist
well i'll answer that one for you right now he surely doesn't know that
it's so sad like he might know he's better than the other horses he's
definitely not like damn i crushed paris
can't wait for la in four years we're running it back like sometimes they're in like commercials
and it's like you're not getting paid but you do all the work and then the person who sits on top
of you takes all your money uh i guess to alleviate that fear of yours uh it's the owner
who takes all the money oh okay yeah the jockey i think they're they don't get paid i don't think
they're doing so hot oh really yeah they're little they're short... They don't get paid very well. I don't think they're doing so hot. Oh, really? Yeah. They're little.
They're short in there.
They really don't have a leg to stand on.
Steve, another topic.
I think we're getting a little groove now.
Who would be the worst person to be stuck in the elevator with?
How about the best person to be stuck in an elevator with?
Bam Margera.
Obviously, somebody... What? Who's that? Bam Margera. somebody what who's that bam margera i don't know he i mean like i like bam but also he kind of just looks like he stinks now and uh and i mean i mean that odor wise and i
feel like he might try and do something fucky with the elevator as a little prank and i don't
like elevator prank that's a good answer why can't you unclick elevator buttons? Is that a safety hazard?
Great question.
I don't know.
I feel like maybe it's because if you're obviously a girl and you're stuck in an elevator with a guy and he unclicks your floor.
That's bad news.
That's bad news.
Dude, I think I talked about this.
I forget if it was on this show or at a live show.
I saw a video about how to
be in an elevator with a woman and yeah it's ruined every other you're supposed to always
be fit obviously always be facing the door it was but that was one but it was also like you
have to click it first you have to click your button first and also if you're on the same floor
make sure you get off first and i never thought about it it never was something that crossed my mind
you know is this woman uncomfortable in an elevator with me and now it's all i fucking
think about and then my you know it's like an animal like if you're scared they're scared
yeah so now i'm in an elevator just giving out the most nervous energy all the time and they're
like what the fuck is this weird i'm gonna do and i'm thinking what did you think i'm gonna do what did you think
that is like i don't i don't think about it but every once in a while i will think about it and
i wonder if it's because like they all of a sudden are in their head like giving off nervous energy
yeah it's like it is weird that humans like can pick up like energy or whatever but other than that i would never think about it it's the only thing yeah
like i i i like i won't i won't this has never happened but i'm picturing if it if it did like
in a movie when someone's rushing to like hold the elevator hold the elevator i would be slamming
door closed if a woman was coming you don't want this trust me it's a fucking nightmare inside this
elevator just like it is inside my head um yeah well i mean i guess the worst person we stuck in
the elevator with is like yes i think you're saying me
like just some guy who keeps lunging forward like all right dude relax no i wanted to do that just
to make you feel safe i mean i i've said this before like i get so in my head if like if i'm
if a guy's walking behind me i get in my head that he's getting in his head being like i don't want
to like make her think i'm following her so i'll like slow down so that i'm like especially like if it's
like a black person i don't want them thinking i i don't am like racist you know like and i'm
like i'm scared so i'll just show them like like i don't care i'll like walk really slow
and then it's just kind of like then i'm then I'm just like getting in their way. I just like, I don't handle it well.
I get in my head.
That's another one.
I'm just like, just be a normal fucking person.
The white guilt.
I said this to you the other day, but around my neighborhood in East Village,
the other last week just started popping up these circles.
And you know how like sometimes people do the- Bad luck spot luck spot wait wait wait bad luck spots and there's usually sometimes
there's kissing spots there's these are all like the tropes somebody decided to cause havoc in the
east village last week and just put hundreds of racist spots and it's making my commute to work
a fucking disaster because they're unavoidable.
It's not like there's one.
They're everywhere, and I know they did it on purpose,
and God forbid I pass somebody of color
while walking past the gauntlet of racist spots.
I'm like, I'm juking them.
I make sure if they see me, I'm like, I jump over it.
I mean, they're everywhere,
and then there's this one that's
right it's next to a park in lower east side and it's fucking massive i mean it's like 30 feet
wide it's called the super super racist spot they made it so you literally can't you'd rather have
to walk in the middle of the street or you're walking on the super racist spot i hate this
when i tell you i hate this guy i hate this guy because even the bad luck spots like bad luck i know that it's stupid i know it's gonna be fine if i walk into that spot i can't do it
i've never said i don't think it will i think bad luck spots are real i think like i would
never touch one yeah but this is the racist that's crazy do you have a job felix morello
that's his name you guys he's an artist it's literally like it just causes havoc
throughout the city i i hate them so much oh my god i haven't even seen the racist spots i i i
have not dealt with any of these spots um i don't know if i'd have the same i i think i'd just walk
i think i think this is well you like you know like you step on a crack you break my back yeah
and like she's fine like i stepped on a lot of cracks in my day.
But I'm just sometimes like, I don't want to test it.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I mean, I get what you're saying to an extent.
Like, if there's a ladder, I'm not going to be brash and go under it.
I'm just going to, if it's easily avoidable.
But it's picturing you going like a top scotch.
Well, I mean, if I'm walking and no one's on the street, yeah, I'm going to walk right
through all the racist spots.
I know that they're not fucking real.
But if other people are watching me.
I'd go just to, I would do it like from hole to hole, circle to circle.
I would stay exclusively in the racist spot.
Because theoretically, that's where you're allowed to be racist.
I guess you're right.
Yeah.
That's a good point. because theoretically that's where you're allowed to be racist i guess you're right yeah i can't step on the regular street trust me
dude just walk it's fine it's not fine this is my chosen pathway um
yeah new topic which tv show do you want your life to be like honestly it's probably like sunny
really yeah that's probably the last one i'd want my life they're like living in poverty basically
but they're all like living with all their friends yeah yeah but they all like yeah they all don't
actually like have each other's backs you can't rely on any of them but that's like that's yeah
no you're right you're right but it
is a i don't know sunny's just one that's just so near and dear to me um it it's it's something
like that though like it's just friends in a bar yeah yeah i mean like friend can we just like look
up like it's like such an easily attainable thing for all of us to have. You just meet up with your three friends every day.
No, because I have to get a full ranch right now.
Yeah, I started this with being like, well, you got to have goals.
My goal is to live in poverty.
You can just go do that, dude.
Just go right now.
We could literally go downstairs over to fucking Mustangang harry's um all right another topic
strangest themed restaurant you've heard of i i never did the i i never did rainforest cafe
rainforest cafe i've done in my when i was older um uh bugaboo creek was a big one in Seekonk, Mass, but it was just like
woods themed.
I never got the Dicks,
like Dicks Last Resort and stuff like that.
What's that?
There's another one
of a similar name, but it's
like everyone's really mean
to you and the wait staff is rude
to you.
I hate that. There's Dicks Last Resort but it's like everyone's really mean to you and like the wait staff is rude to you oh yeah yeah yeah there's dick's last resort and there was there was another one earlier on that
was popular as well and i was just like well i would have wanted to come here's your fucking food
this sucks but i feel like there's only like so much that they could say other than just like
you know yeah like i they'll eat they'll eat the food off your plate and shit like that yeah i've
seen that i've seen that very weird but this sucks like hey we did a theme restaurant where everyone
is a dickhead and rude and disgusting that's not what i like yeah i also i feel like the um
question is resurfacing right now like do door dash drivers like take some of your food and as a
former door dash driver i can say i absolutely did
i would never like open a bag like it was like sealed but like if they were just fries out like
absolutely i would take some but they i thought they seal bags now right now they like staple
them or tape them down or something like that but every once in a while like for the most part 50
and this was like a few years ago that i did it but like 50 would be sealed up but like there's like another 50 that like wasn't it's so crazy you were a high school
door dash driver i was in college you're in college but you were like 18 right summer in
college yeah it probably was 18 it was freshman yeah i would have been 18 dude that's my parents
wouldn't let me be a delivery driver my parents i know my mom but the they're like you're not
delivering food and and i was okay
they let i need money can i have money they will not you can't have money either
but i mean there are other jobs yeah it was i couldn't be uh i couldn't be a pizza delivery
guy and i couldn't be a bouncer what what do you think your least favorite job would be
i i like working so i i've liked every job i ever had i i was a landscaper
i love that i worked on a sailboat i love that bartended i love that worked at gnc i love that
um uh barstool obviously in general like if you had to have one job what would be your least
anything where i had to get up early.
But even like the landscaping I liked.
I don't know.
It was just me and like eight Brazilian dudes.
We just fucking cut grass, smoked grass, drank.
It was tight.
It was really fun.
But the yeah, anything.
Honestly, I still stand by this when when matt lauer got arrested
or whatever he did got in trouble and it came out that he made 42 million dollars a year
and i was like i would not do his job for 42 million dollars a year i would hate to be
a writer who has deadlines i don't i don't like writing i don't like deadlines
that would be my that's my all-time thing to do at the job.
I can see you being a good writer, though.
I'm not bad at it, but if I have an essay,
I will spend the max amount of time possible on it.
And I will literally have to take so much Adderall.
I'm too ADHD to sit down and write an essay.
I can write three sentences at a time.
I cannot do it for the life of me.
I just started writing again.
It is probably
the most therapeutic thing.
What have you been writing?
Well, sketches first of all.
Oh, yeah.
And just like other things,
just like thoughts.
And it's by far
the most therapeutic thing
I think I've ever done.
Yeah.
And I just spent my whole life
not writing.
I didn't write for,
like I just always.
Dude, when I was in college, like the only classes I would do were writing classes.
Writing, yeah.
Like, I just wouldn't do or show up to anything else.
And, like, that's the only reason I lasted in college as long as I did because I would get good grades in writing.
Yeah.
And I'd get literal Fs in everything else.
And they were like, somehow you have a GPA that lets you continue at this school.
But the, it is, writing is the best right it is getting lost in it because i think that's the only time i do spend like a lot of
time on my phone and like when i'm not on my phone i'm usually talking to my friends or i'm talking
to somebody that's the only time i lock in on something that's not my phone and can just like
block out everything else because i don't like video games i struggle watching movies i struggle
watching tv shows writing is like just locked fuck it's so funny that you struggle watching movies and tv shows
it's what you do i've done a little bit of research into that i'm like this is this bad
like should i not choose this profession because i have an inability to like stay still and stay
interested in a movie and it's like a lot of directors and writers also like just have no interest in it i i can see that all right one more topic
jackie what are your goals for the next two years
i don't oh my god i literally don't know what are your goals for the next two years
this is i think i'm going through. Lay us out the Nichols plan.
No.
Okay, the Nichols plan.
Wait, can somebody else go first?
Mm-mm.
Ladies first.
We're being polite.
My goals, guys, I actually, like, don't know what I want to do or who I am or, like, anything.
You know what I want to do, actually, am or like anything. You know what I want to do actually is just find a famous golfer,
date him,
be,
become part of like just the elite,
classy golf wife,
wags,
go to golf games,
drink on the sidelines,
have an Aperol spritz in my hand.
I laugh at the girls.
I go, oh, he's so good.
And then we go and we, like, kind of, you know, like, I dabble in, like,
I go to red carpets with him.
But I'm like, no, babe, like, I don't like the spotlight.
Like, you go or whatever.
But, like, the media is so curious about me.
They're like, who is she?
Like, you know
like she's just this girl and then and then it's like and like the thing is i don't know if i like
am have the golf wife like i would have to do a lot of i would have to get a lot of new clothes
like i have to do like a lot of like i'd have to like say swear words a lot less like i'd have to
become a whole new person i think i could rise up to the occasion i think i could do it true and maybe it's like maybe i
changed the game of golf wives a little bit and i kind of bring a little bit of edge to them you
know and and that's my goal for the next two years that is a very detailed and thought out
i haven't even thought about it that much so i have bad news for you for the last part of that.
Polina Gretzky is alive.
She kind of changed the whole.
I was going to interrupt you on that.
Gretzky, Gretzky redefined the golf bag.
Yeah.
She will.
Exactly.
I was going to say you can redefine it again,
but she kind of defined it to what you want to define it to.
Yeah.
That's.
Maybe I'll go even edgier.
Jack me on the sidelines saying cunt.
I'm like all black boots.
It's hard to top that.
That was so specific.
Yeah.
I was going to say like, get better at my job or something gay.
I wasn't going to redefine the wife and girlfriend industry yeah it's really like breaking borders
it's it's it's something out of order related um i don't know what it is exactly but i like
doing out of order and i would like to keep doing it for more people okay but uh you have to get
more specific i just got really specific i don't i don't know what the
answer to that is i i think the answer is in the immediate is doing more yeah good sketches
and then just seeing where that goes i don't like plans so yeah i like doing this right now
and we'll see where it goes yeah and i hope but i hope it goes somewhere save it save his fights yeah all right steve uh
graduate college maybe magna cum laude that'd be cool uh health care honor society at school
uh wait what like i'm a i'm a health care major even though i'm an intern i thought you were
saying you wanted health no no no no you're a 26 dog uh graduate then like get better at premiere i'm gonna take a class on that at pc uh
then i guess just get back here hopefully hell yeah yeah all right voicemails bang
steve i think you're gonna achieve all your goals but i think i think the three of us are
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baker here in nashville this past weekend she was incredible lived up to all the hype of uh
all of her appearances on your guys show so got me thinking of all the entertainers that you've
had on the show that you have not seen perform live who would you most want to see and why thanks
probably abella Probably a Bella. I would not want to see a Bella before I'm alive.
I think under-talked about part of the Amsterdam experience
was that the night before we got there,
they all went to a live sex show
because that was the original plan,
was to take us to a live sex show.
And they went to one and they were like pretty quickly you're just watching two people have sex yeah and like not
in a fun way like not that they're having violent sex or anything like that but just like i don't
know sex at least the way i do it i can't imagine it's like a great visual experience
no one's like it's not patrick bateman right i'm not like it's like a great visual experience. No one's like, it's not Patrick Bateman, right?
I'm not like,
it's a fucking,
it's not pretty.
It's fucking gross.
Yeah, okay.
That's meant to be like artistic to watch
or is it kind of pervertive?
I think more intriguing than perverted.
It's like people aren't, to be perverted, if you use the word perverted, I feel like you're pounding off. It's like people aren't like to be perverted.
But if you're using the word perverted, I feel like you're pounding off.
Yeah.
And people aren't pounding off.
Okay.
It's just like watching.
Well, so I've been to one in Amsterdam that was like.
You have?
Yeah.
The live sex show?
Yeah.
But they were also were like, it was, it was kind of like, I almost feel like what you
went to, like, where it was like, she had like, like what you went to like where it was like she had like like they were having sex but it was also like performative i didn't go to that one
oh you didn't they went the night before we got there oh but that was that was more just oh yeah
then i went to a sex show and it was um it was sex it was exactly what you think but i was kind of like
yeah but you weren't grossed out by it uh like burt and and and like his crew were like it's not
fun no it's not it's not like you're not like oh like getting like hot also like going with
anyone you know and you have to talk it's not like you when you go see a movie you talk about it afterwards yeah yeah yeah you got me now now i want to talk about it
if i went yeah we break down we break it down but the whole time i would be worried like you
said when you want to go see a movie with nate i'm like are they enjoying this oh yeah am i
enjoying this too much or too little that's a great point yeah that's a great point i do actually remember
being like oh my god like what if i get like kind of like hot and bought and there's obviously an
element of getting like a little like turned on with it and but like it is like gross enough
and like the people are it's like performative enough where you're kind of like able to like
keep it in your pants but i could see how like some people wouldn't be able to i was kind of like why are we trusting
like you know like if i had any less like so you know what i mean like had any less self-control
like people would be pounding off in the in the so you what i'm picking up is you really like if I had
a semblance
of less self-control
I'd been fucking
masturbating in the seat
no no no
but like
obviously like
I feel like
the more I talk about
I just like
paint a weird picture
but you know
Jackie was
the first woman
ever kicked out
for jerking off
this has never happened but you gotta go
my friends are like what is happening no um
i can see that being there with your buddy be like are you hard right now
no i would imagine like guys going with each other it's like that's
well that's like this i mean guys Guys love going to strip clubs together.
I think that's a very shrinking number.
I don't think.
I think my age group, my friends.
I guess maybe it's with every friend group.
You have one strip club guy.
Yeah.
But I've never really.
When I was like 17, I'd go to a lot of strip clubs.
Like 17 to 19, I was in clubs.
I got a lot of...
I don't have any strip club friends.
I got a lot of rub and tug friends.
A lot of rub and tug friends.
But as for the question itself, who...
I mean, I've seen basically everybody who's come through here.
I guess this like... Because he has a podcast but nate bergatzi is
just like everything he says is so funny so funny they're like i even just i would like just to hear
him talk yeah i think kevin said to nate like our very first time interview or actually our first
time together kevin had interviewed nate before that um solo uh but our first time together he's
like it's such a cheat code like but which is it's unfair to say
that it's just your voice it's like no it's not a lot of people have that voice it's how he uses
that voice and how where he takes his pauses and all that stuff but yeah literally everything
every single thing he says is the funniest thing i've ever heard it's so funny i i talk about it
all the time the clip of him on the show in nashville when his wife starts choking is the
funniest thing i've ever heard i've ever been a part of like we were in nashville for uh national
comedy fest and we rented an airbnb and we were you were there right yeah yeah yeah and um nate's
wife came because nate had a show with the rhyman right after our interview and she was going to
that so she came as well and she's kind of just watching in the background and she starts coughing and on the clip you can you can hear her she's
coughing pretty good in the back and eventually the cough starts you know the cough escalates
and you're like oh this might be serious and the cough escalates and i pop up kevin pops up i think
everyone else in the room popped up looking for water and nate is so casually sitting there she goes ask my wife should be all right and he throws he throws like a peanut
in his mouth and the way he says it should be all right he goes i've seen her choke a million times
she wins every time did i ever tell you guys about the time that I definitely told you? Like, I rode, like, a mechanical bull in front of Shane
in Stuff Island and everything or whatever.
I don't know where anybody the fuck was.
But I was, like, there.
And I was, like, sober.
And I bet Chris O'Connor.
No, Chris O'Connor had done the mechanical bull.
And he did it for like no time and
i was like wow you really like fucked up and he was like um because this was in nashville yeah
that's what i thought of it and then he like was like oh like you could do better whatever and like
ended up betting me 30 that i could do it but i was like so sober and i was like oh my god if kevin
and john look over and i'm riding this mechanical bull in front of like the most important people
ever i was like no no like i'm not doing it i'm sober i'm not doing it or whatever they would
like whatever and then it ended up being like shane was in on it like everyone so then i was
like well now i can't say no and so then i did it oh my. I think about that once a month and how much anxiety,
because then obviously I got on, it looked really slutty.
And then like I fell off and that was embarrassing in itself too.
And like Shane even like took a video of it.
And like after he was like, I deleted that.
And every time I'm like, I knew I didn't want to do that.
Like that was something that I didn't want to do.
I think about that all the time.
And for the record, I can't imagine a world in which Kevin and I look over and see you
on a bull at a bar that we brought you to that has a bull in it.
I think, what the fuck is Jackie doing on the bull?
We're not going to bring her to VIP stuff anymore.
I mean, you are aware of this.
That would have the exact opposite
reaction like fuck yeah jackie's ripping it up yeah yeah i guess i guess but it wasn't like i
didn't play it well oh my god what's up guys so um a bit of a weird story over the past couple of
days i've been receiving a lot of amazon packages which is not weird in and of itself um but my
fiancee was gone so i just assumed she bought them um
but when she got home yesterday she was like i didn't order anything on amazon
again not that weird so i forgot we opened them up and they were all black ski masks
i shit you not seven boxes of black ski masks separately. So that's weird.
And I swear to God, as I was recording this video, I got more.
Look at this shit.
It's about 11 boxes of black ski masks that had been ordered to my house, addressed to me and my fiance with our names and our address uh so i asked amazon
what the fuck's going on they're like don't worry you haven't been charged for them like that wasn't
my concern though my concern was that i wasn't being charged who is sending us 11 boxes of black
ski masks um so i guess i don't have a question other than am I about to get
murdered or
what's going on here and has anything
weird like that ever happened to any of y'all
no nothing like that's happened
but we have to do this to Kevin
we have to do this to Kevin
100%
just start mailing
him Steve keep it a secret I'm thinking 100% oh yeah like just start mailing him yeah Steve
you gotta keep
a secret
I'm thinking
maybe I'm thinking
too big
yeah
I don't know
if you guys
reel me in
if I'm a little
off the rails here
but
like
stuff to build a bomb
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Like, we'll do it. We'll start it slowly. Like, first, we'll mail him American...
What is it?
The book Oppenheimer's based on.
American Pharaoh?
American something.
It's the book that Oppenheimer's based on.
We just send him that first.
He's like, this is fucking weird.
And then the next week, we send him, like, Plutonian.
Yeah.
Wait, send what?
I don't think they sell plutonium.
American Prometheus.
American Prometheus, yes.
We're just going to Google how to make a bomb to find all the items.
I pointed over to you.
I was like, don't do that.
But I think you can just type in Amazon bomb products.
Yeah.
We could even just do like rope like chloroform let's just let's just start sending kevin really weird shit yeah and and maybe some stuff no
because i was gonna say if it alludes to the haunting he's gonna he's gonna stuff that out
yeah he's gonna be like someone's heard about the haunting and it's found my address
ski masks is something where it's like ominous enough where it's like,
okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also think that they're,
the fact that they're black,
if they were a bunch of different colors,
if you like threw a red one in there
or a lime green one,
because I don't know.
That's what you rob a bank with.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You rob a bank with a lime green mask.
Is it,
what is it?
A shysty.
That.
That.
Okay.
That's just a cooler name for that.
That's the whitest thing of all time. What is a shysty that that okay that's that's just a cool name for that that's the
whitest thing
of all time
what is a
a shysty
it's a cool
ass word
the
yeah
we gotta
we gotta do that
that's a great idea
and
and we have to
keep a secret
and he's gonna
come and
I'm gonna get
the craziest stuff
that's nuts
must be Alex Bennett
everyone listening to this I made everyone in the room swear and promise I'm getting the craziest stuff. That's nuts. It must be Alex Bennett.
Everyone listening to this,
I made everyone in the room swear a promise,
but everyone listening to this also has to keep the promise.
Don't send ideas on what we should send.
Yeah.
DM the KFC radio account.
Something violent, for sure.
For sure something violent.
Or just like... Should we just start sending him a bunch of things
that you could build a baseball field with?
Kind of make it like a field of dreams situation?
Be sick of these.
No, I want it to be like Eagle Eye.
Like when Shia LaBeouf gets home in Eagle Eye
and his fucking apartment is outfitted with tactical gear
because the government's setting him up and he's like, where the fuck did all this stuff come from?
I'm like Kevin and be like, why do I have seven AR-15s?
All right.
Last voicemail.
All right.
What's up, guys?
I have a question based on something that happened to me last night.
So I was just chilling in my room.
I was hungry as fuck. There was like no good food in my house
and for some reason there was like chocolate bar in my desk and it was wrapped in like brown paper
and I remembered it being there I was like oh fuck chocolate like let's go ate the whole thing
um and then I was like where's that chocolate from because it kind of tasted funny but I still
ate the whole thing I was like it's chocolate I remembered it was edibles and it was like a big
chocolate bar and I was like huh when did I ever eat this and only take one tiny like square of
chocolate off you know like because that's just not me like no or anyone who eats one square anyways i should have fucking realized but i'd already eaten the whole thing
so i was like okay well now i'm gonna be out of commission for a fucking long time so my question
basically is like when you realize this and you know there's nothing you can do and you are just
going to be like high as balls for like a long time
what's first of all like the first thing you do like is there anything you want to do
before you it hits and then second thing like when you are high what do you do i know like fights
is gonna like eat a lot probably i mean that's what i did but it was so much like weed that i felt sick too so
yeah i don't know what what's your game plan first of all i love this chick um she calls it a lot
she's pretty she's engaged it's really easy to be like be easy on the eyes and be engaged that person's awesome
don't don't be grotesque
um the uh um my i first of all i love doing this because i get so high so easily
i basically every time i smoke it's like this feeling she has like i know what's
coming yeah and it it basically puts i hate that feeling so oh i love it because because it makes
you start doing like i i'll i like i like won't smoke until like 9 p.m 10 p.m something like that
and then it's a race that i got as much done before yeah i gotta clean up as much as i can
i go shower get in bed and it's awesome i love that yeah yeah yeah like it's like basically
it's a it's a kick in the ass to get ready to pass out that that is true there is like a 20
minute window where you're like i'm just about to be stupid in like 20 minutes i have something
similar where i've been taking them before I go out,
but I pretty much city bike everywhere I go.
So I take one, and I gotta just
race to the spot that I'm going to.
Because I don't want to be stoned on a city bike. That's scary
being stoned. I'm surprised you've taken four
going out. Going out high is not
for me.
The mushroom bars that you buy around here?
I'm just giggling. I'm having a good time.
It kind of feels like an upper.
You're just a little bit happier.
Mushroom bars don't hit me like that.
Mushrooms do.
I don't do mushrooms.
I just do mushroom bars.
Mushroom chocolates don't really do anything, but I get sweaty.
You know what I've been doing when I'm tired?
It just hits a blue light in my eyes.
I'll just do this.
You know how it keeps you up?
I don't do drugs at all, but apparently it's the blue light. It keeps you up. I truly think it works. I just just do this because you know how it keeps you up? I don't do drugs at all, but apparently
it's the blue light that keeps you up.
I truly think it works. I just go like this.
And the way you guys are looking at me,
nobody else can relate, obviously.
But that's what I do.
I swear to God it works.
So you'll do it at a bar?
Privately, yeah.
People think you're an agent.
So you're at a bar like privately people think like you're an agent it's just like so you're like so you're at a bar i just go we're just gonna take a moment right now and and you'll
be like guys i'll be right back i gotta go to the bathroom real quick and and you'll come back with
a bunch of energy and then you'll do that five six times throughout the night no like you should just do cocaine and so i have to resort to blue light so are you are
you just a hell of a drug are you hitting both eyes i'm in both eyes you got to get up in there
and you got to go like that so you are you're 24 you're 24 years old and you're in a bar bathroom
alone no i'll do it in front of friends blue light down
your eyes i'll do it in front of friends too it started as a joke until i was like this shit works
like at first i was kind of like because normally like my my um thing automatically like goes to
like nighttime mode and so then i'd be like we're not going to nighttime mode boys
and then i'd be like and then it's like blue light and i just end up going with hits of
blue light and it's it doesn't work as well as cocaine but if i mentally at least it helps me a
little bit man sometimes i'm like jackie's pretty normal and then other times i'll be like what is
wrong with you it definitely like looks a little weird. It looks a lot weirder.
I have to either do it in private or in joking.
Like, ha, this is so funny.
But I truly need to do it to stay up.
No, this also reminds me of the first time I ever smoked weed.
I got way too high.
And I was with a friend.
And I was just being so weird.
But then I kept freaking out to my friend, being like, oh, my god, I'm being so weird. Everyone knows I that but then my i kept like freaking out to my
friend being like oh my god i'm being so weird everyone knows i'm high like whatever because
we were in public and she was like no no it's like that's all in your head like you're like
you're literally being so normal so then in my head like i was like i was like oh i can do whatever
i want like i don't like i like nobody's gonna know that i'm smoking weed so then i started like
kind of like pushing those and then i just remember she was like, all right, now you're being kind of weird.
I would be like going up to people and like staring at them, like kind of and making them uncomfortable.
And she would have to be like, OK, now you're being weird.
And that kind of scarred me from weed forever where I was like, OK, I don't trust myself.
Like I'm going to be weird on it.
I'm going to go up to people and stare at them.
That's insane. trust myself like i'm gonna be weird on it and like i'm gonna go up to people and stare at them that is insane yeah um yeah and then eating would be my other one i i actually i think i told you guys off air but i fell asleep with raspberries in my bed the other night yeah i've been trying
to eat healthier at night and um i i this was unconscious i don't remember doing it but i guess
i got went to my freezer keep them all frozen and got a box of raspberries out at some point and fell back asleep with them in bed and then just
rolled all over him and woke up and it was just like like the horse head was in my bed there's a
lot of red goo everywhere you know how hard that is to wake up as a 35 year old and and just be
covered in raspberries?
You do that all the time.
It's got to be like –
Do you have white sheets?
Yeah.
That's crazy for your dog.
I mean they might be bone shell or something like that.
It's crazy for you to know that is a color and also just be eating in your bed.
That sums you up perfectly.
That is so true. eating in your bed that sums you up perfectly yeah that do you guys ever wake up with drool on your pillow and you get like jacked up about it like that was a good ass sleep dude i don't i've never done it i've had girls do it on my pillow
and i'm like you fucking animal yeah i do it like sometimes when I do it too, it literally feels like I'm a cartoon.
I'll wake up like,
you know like that?
Oh my God.
I've done that before.
I've drooled pretty heavily on a guy.
Just trying to wipe it off,
but he obviously saw.
Yeah.
All right.
That's the episode.
All right.
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