KFC Radio - Feits & The Kids Define The Meaning of Success - Full Episode

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:36 No updates on the Troll Farm Situation 03:15 Hells Angels and Simone Biles 07:46 Favorite & least favorite things about ourselves 16:33 Who is the most beloved ...celebrity? 20:56 Who is the most successful person in your eyes? 28:49 What is something popular now that annoys you? 34:18 Worst person to be stuck in an elevator with 41:33 Strangest themed restaurant you've ever heard of? 46:35 What are your 2 year goals? 50:28 Video Voicemails ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ PRESENTED BY MANGO SHOTTA: Stay Spicy with Mango Shotta https://www.mangoshotta.com/ Cann: Head to DrinkCann.com and use code KFC20 for 20% off your order of Cann and a free Roadie 6pk sampler.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So you, what I'm picking up is you really like... Welcome back to another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. What's up? No, we're brought to you by Mango Shotta. Yes. Mango Shotta.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Mango Shotta. The joke is, mango. Do you get it? I don't get it. Mango Shotta is a delicious jalapeno mango tequila. It is 26% alcohol by volume. That means it is 52 proof. It is like all those new aged liquor drinks.
Starting point is 00:00:54 It is easier to shoot, such as, I don't know. I'm not going to name any other companies, but you can probably picture them. They have a very cool logo. It is delicious. You can pour it over ice. You can have it in a blender, perhaps. Or you can just do it easily as a shot. Jackie is a shot fan because...
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm not a shot fan, but I am a shot fan with mango shada because it doesn't taste like a shot. Can't beat that. It is sweet as a mango, but still... Spicy as a bitch. Spicy. Oh, spicy. Still a spicy bitch.
Starting point is 00:01:24 What comes next? Hashtag take a shada. Again, it's a bit spicy still a spicy bitch what come that comes next hashtag take a shot again it's delicious if you're gonna have a summer drink might as well have a mango shot mango jalapeno tequila the big three as i like to call them the holy trinity if you will so go get yourself a bottle right now enjoy what is left of summer it's it's coming to an end with Mango Shada. Stay spicy with Mango Shada. Okay. It is the three of us. I guess we should give an update on last episode. I have no update.
Starting point is 00:01:54 I don't know. What happened before the episode, I was talking to some of the people who were doing the DMing, and they were like, I don't know. Or not even the people who were doing the dming and they were like ah i don't know or not even the people who were doing it people who were around it and they're like i don't know i think it's kind of like on the fence if it's true or not and then after the episode i walked out there and everyone was like do you guys go in and that's because that's true as hell and i was like oh i wish i talked to you guys beforehand it would have got me more gassed up
Starting point is 00:02:21 uh but i actually i don't can we just call her um is that crazy i don't think i don't really have any interest in that we're never gonna know yeah what are you gonna do i'll yeah but you should call her what what do you even say like hello it's your old co-worker i think about troll farms it's kind of crazy there was no response for them they had to have seen it right i would imagine so i don't know i i don't i have no idea i i honestly i don't think it's true i i don't think it's true i it would be such an insane move that i can't i just can't imagine that would be like very out of character for for her though that's what i said and people tended to disagree with me on that too it's also like yeah nothing surprised
Starting point is 00:03:15 me anymore like around here like i don't know like it could it could very well i i don't think that's her character but nothing surprises me anymore yeah i don't i don't. I don't think that that's her character, but nothing surprises me anymore. Yeah. I don't know. I don't really care. Hells Angels. I was at a bar the other day, and the Hells Angels were there. And none of them rode Harleys, and that upset me a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Wait. I have a question. Why? Is there, like, a function to the handlebars being so high no it just looks cool uh yeah it doesn't even look cool like that it looks like you're like a child yeah if if i if i had that i would i would get in a car accident on the highway because i have fun fact about me it's my my limbs go numb really like when i'm like laying in bed either in the morning or at night playing like the new york times word games yeah i can't finish
Starting point is 00:04:15 if if and if i'm it's a weird hungover thing with me now it's like i wake up and i'm i feel like just like a potato because i can't feel any it's like i wake up and i'm i feel like just like a potato because i can't feel any of my limbs i got my nerves checked because i was kind of like i went and got my nerves checked too i was like because it's just in this position my neck doesn't get sore at all but if this is how i play i play like this and i can get through maybe the mini and wordle or maybe the mini, like maybe two of the games. And then it's just, then I take a break because my hands get too numb. You guys have poor blood flow.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I know. I think that that is. You need more, what is it, iron? What it is. Oh. Magnesium? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:04:59 But I do, I do have that same issue. The little person handlebar question reminds me. Is Simone Biles, so is Simone Biles 4'8 or 4'10? Technically a midget. Right. Right? I believe, I mean, that's at least the old wives tale or the rumor. I've heard the under five.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yes. Okay. I was going to say, she doesn't have to have to like why doesn't she qualify for the paralympics that would be funny you technically qualify for the paralympics like it's honestly just unfair you have to go compete with the normies like imagine Simone Biles at the Special Olympics. Yeah, but Simone's like, yeah, this is not fair. Now, is she that small
Starting point is 00:05:51 because the jumping has stunted her growth so much or do you think she was always going to be that small? Because she's landing pretty hard. There's no way. I always thought that that was a thing.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I always thought that... I gave that too much respect as you posed that question. You don't think that there's any chance that because they're coming down so hard. I always thought that that was what it was. What do you mean, dude? I bet if she never did one flip in her life, she would be at least 5'2". If she never does a flip, she's a WNBA point guard now. Yeah, I think that that stunts your growth 100 but she didn't start yes
Starting point is 00:06:26 you started like obviously she was young when she was doing gymnastics but like when she started gymnastics at four or whatever age it is you start that she was definitely already tiny yeah but she could have grown to five two instead she's five eight four eight four at four eight this is crazy steve what i think maybe like they're stocky individuals so maybe like the lifting the lifting as kids could be no no no there's a big difference
Starting point is 00:06:52 I don't look I obviously don't know what I'm talking about but I so let's say I have a real fear of one day having a kid and he's taller than me. That pisses me off. You just drop him.
Starting point is 00:07:07 The idea of that. And if so, let's say I don't want him taller than me, every day I'm just like, start jumping. Before he wants his breakfast, he has to do 10 jumping jacks or something like that. I think they would at least take off like two to three inches. I mean, they're all really short. Think about what you told when you were younger. younger like don't live too young or that's gonna stunt your growth yeah i mean that's i heard that from my dad yeah i don't know if there's science behind it i don't know if there is either but that's what i was told all the time i heard
Starting point is 00:07:38 they feel like my uncle my dad my dad told me that and but also bought me a weight bench in fifth grade when i was five years old. So I don't know. Maybe it was fifth grade. I forget. It was a five minute. It was young. It's like coffee can stunt your growth.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Huh? Coffee? Everything can stunt your growth, but it doesn't change your body type. Yeah. I think that my height is my favorite thing about myself. Oh. No one had asked. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:08:09 That was crazy. Anyway, you guys notice that I'm quite tall? No, because I'm saying I feel like I'm not that tall. I'm 5'7". I'm not crazy tall, but I'm not crazy short. And I just really like that about myself. I don't know what that anybody else. And I just really like that about myself. I don't know about anybody else. And I also really like my legs.
Starting point is 00:08:29 What's your favorite thing about yourself? Probably my height, honestly. Wait, Jackie, how tall do you think fights is? How tall do you think I am? How tall do you think Steve is? I feel like you two are similar. You're probably a little... Because when I'm told my height it varies
Starting point is 00:08:46 four to five inches every time it's really people will tell me i'm six three people also tell me i'm five ten or five nine it's crazy you're six one i'm six one yeah yeah okay yeah i would say six six one six one yeah you're probably six one and a half six two yeah i'd say six one if i said i was six one and a half you'd have permission to kill me like you guys are like a hinge six four what's your favorite thing about yourself see if you're nice my favorite thing about me is uh probably does that have hair yeah yeah that's a good one it's a yeah it's pretty good to have hair are we going like physical attributes whatever you whatever
Starting point is 00:09:32 you i'll stick physical i guess but like i'm not i'm not a muscular guy but i like i have like okay calves i'm like johnny i'm johnny drama i just love my cats um wait i'm i like how you were like good can i do you guys mind if i stay physical with this one it seemed like oh he's going with caps what's i figured out my least favorite thing about myself the other day wait but i wrote it down you forgot yeah i forgot oh i i don't say okay my least favorite thing is like i don't say like love you in a casual way like if somebody says like like just like love you i can't like say it in a casual way without it like without it like really seeming like i'm like spilling my love for somebody you know what i mean like no i almost never yeah like i like some people just be like i love you but like with me like it just seems like like even with my family like i i like can't say it back
Starting point is 00:10:39 like i'm just like oh my god it feels like i'm like, I don't know. And I just, it does not roll off my tongue casually. So you don't say it. So I, I, I like will say to my family, but like, like the other day, like a guy friend said it to me and I was like, and then I said it back and it just got so awkward. It's so awkward. And like, I literally like didn't talk to him for like two weeks. Cause I was like, oh my God, he probably thinks I'm in love with him. How old were you?
Starting point is 00:11:09 Like six months ago. And I can't. I can't. Oh my god. Anyway, that's my least favorite thing about myself. I mean, I say I love you. Yeah, exactly. To have that skill is something that like you take
Starting point is 00:11:26 for granted i can't i cannot say it's a lie to people yeah no just like i can't say it casually without like taking the air of the fucking room do you have the do you say an eye with it no i'll say i'll say i'll say as casually love you love you but I can't I just can't say it it sounds like you're trying to hide the fact that you actually really really love someone love you I just can't say it and it's just like
Starting point is 00:11:59 something that I really can you say it to people you mean it to like your mom and dad yeah yeah yeah like i i can say to my mom and dad but like i think about it all the time like i'm just like i think before like i just have to do like a casual i also do you guys do this like okay wait first what are what's your guys least favorite thing about yourself well hang on for i is the the love you with my like with my parents is my favorite love you i have your love you with your dad every time uh you say love you to your dad every time no to neither of them uh but like occasionally you get
Starting point is 00:12:39 it and yeah that's usually a good job you had a good conversation it's like uh rather things are going really bad or things are going really good it's just like I noticed it like years and years ago and it still plays out to this day like I can tell
Starting point is 00:12:54 by how much I make them laugh on the phone if I'm getting a love so that has to be why you're in this industry right I don't know if it's a good conversation
Starting point is 00:13:03 I'll get a love if it's not I won't it's a good conversation i'll get a look if it's not i won't it's like the best thing that's ever happened to me i go into every phone call like it's war i'm like like i'm fucking doing an hour at msg i like start stretching i'm like all right here it is i gotta fucking earn this one that's crazy i get it like three percent of the time that is absolutely like why you are a performer. You've been working for years. The only way I'll be loved is...
Starting point is 00:13:35 Do you think your parents give each other a head nod mid-dinner like he's getting one tonight? They have a little meeting before dinner. There are some times, very recently, maybe even yesterday, I thought I had one. I thought I had one in the bag. Didn't get it. No. That's crazy. But you don't do that.
Starting point is 00:13:55 As soon as someone says it to me, I'll say it right back. You don't dish them out first? No. No. There was one time I was having drunk sex with a stranger and I said it. And I was like, never doing that again. What? That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:10 It was very intimate sex and it just came out. And as it came out, I was like, what the fuck was that? Oh my god. That's bad. She did not return it she does not have my fucking uh baseline where it's like if someone tells you i love you say it right back she she disagreed she bit her tongue on that one i always think about like uh just like the epitome of girlhood in my head was like one time at my sorority we all were like we all were there and this girl came in my head was like one time at my sorority we all were like we all were there and
Starting point is 00:14:45 this girl came in and she was like she had just hooked up with like the hottest senior and she was like and i said i love you tim in bed it was like his first time ever and all the girls were like okay it's okay it's okay damage control and we all like sat there and thought about like how we could like damage control or whatever and it was i was just like oh my god girls are just so cute did you guys have it come up with a solution no we're just like and they never talked again see that's the difference in girls and guys we come to the same solution but we go oh you're a fucking idiot and then we just not even break stride um yeah what's your favorite thing least favorite thing about yourself
Starting point is 00:15:23 i don't think I make eye contact very well I think I avoid eye contact I hate when people bring up eye contact because they know we're not bringing
Starting point is 00:15:32 eye contact I think that's I'm gonna guess that's a pretty popular struggle in this company yeah I don't think
Starting point is 00:15:41 there's anyone here who you're like they maintain eye contact for a long time. I've been trying to get better at it too. It's like one of my resolutions is like, look people in the eye when you talk to them, but like five seconds go by.
Starting point is 00:15:51 I'm like, how much longer can I stare at this person? They think I'm in love with them probably. I had that who, oh, I was, I was at church this past week and I was like sitting next to my friend. We got there early.
Starting point is 00:16:03 Yeah. And I was just talking to her the whole time like and but you're both sitting in a pew yeah it's extremely close and like intimate and i kept being like i just want this goddamn mask to start so i can get out of this conversation because yeah i'm tired of looking deep into your soul right now that's like the number one thing on love island they're always like i love your eye contact and i'm like i always want like nobody would ever say that about me and like i don't i wouldn't i wouldn't peg get either you two steve i don't think we've talked enough no i'm not great at it i'm actually really bad i wouldn't i would actually not
Starting point is 00:16:38 um what was what was your question my question yeah it's like so it's like a pop culture question it's not relatable i mean it's not like related to the conversation or just say it who is the most beloved celebrity in the world not by like how many fans they have but just like there might not just be like one hater for them like who's the most who has zero haters and it's just 100 loved with this i don't have an answer for this but i have a little side yeah prediction i think that so everyone like ariana grande like kind of doesn't love her right now i think after wicked she's gonna be like beloved again and i will be very happy to if that happens just because i feel like she everyone kind of well again what she did was very wrong but she really like stayed in her lane
Starting point is 00:17:33 and didn't try and like explain herself she like pretty much tore broke up like a family the guy the spongebob guy on him yeah exactly that. And, like, but she's done that, like, twice. But she didn't try to explain herself. And I think that the song, We Can't Be Friends, it's probably about, like, her ex, but I kind of feel like it's about the media. And she's just like, I'm not going to try and explain myself. Like, eventually we'll be friends again.
Starting point is 00:18:01 And I feel like Wicked is going to make everyone love her again. And then she will have just been, like, she just stayed in her lane the whole time she didn't try and like you know like be like do all this to prove that she's a good person or whatever she just like did her head down worked on her craft that's my prediction okay are you a big ariana grande fan no but like it sounds like you know i just spend a lot of time thinking about her and her success. Predicting her future. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:31 I'm going to see Wicked. I'm excited to see it. It looks really good. But I think two things are going to play against it. One, they're hiding the fact that it's a musical, like they do with every musical. And two, they are hiding the fact
Starting point is 00:18:42 that it's part one. I think a lot of people are going to go see it and walk out and go, what fuck and they're gonna go oh yeah part two comes out next year oh i think so they're hiding that it's not announced as like wicked part one or wicked the first or whatever it's just wicked so the casuals unlike yourself yeah walk out but why the fuck isn't that movie fan yeah yeah it comes out next year whenever the fuck it comes out um your question was though who's the most beloved i mean paul rod came to mind yeah um denzel i feel like is uh denzel but if to answer your question
Starting point is 00:19:18 you're probably looking for like a a smaller yeah actor because even even denzel has haters as as closely as within these walls um the another name that popped up steven rue steven rue well yeah root yeah i don't know that is steven rue is he's like i i feel like the most beloved person is gonna be one of these guys who you see him you go oh i love that guy yeah and i think steven root's one of them oh do you love that guy wait was uh is he in reservoir dogs no no no i'm thinking he looks like the guy in reservoir dogs he's the man he's uh for some reason get out is the first thing that just came to mind oh yeah yeah but dodgeball i think he's in he does a lot of comedies he does uh oh yeah office space barry no country for old men i don't remember him in that dodgeball was yes um unthinkable you ever seen that movie no he's awesome in that unthinkable is just samuel jackson
Starting point is 00:20:20 is our government torturer who just tortures the fuck out of people and that's the movie he has to do the unthinkable which is just some real fucking torturing and it's just it's a full movie of them renting out a school and torturing him in the school because like there's like a nuclear bomb has been placed in DC andC. and they got to find it. That sounds like the most Final Fantasy of all time. I think Steve Carell for a guy, Melissa McCarthy for a girl. Good answers. Those were good answers.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Steve, can you do me a favor? Can you go to a topic generator? We're doing this again? All right, now now we're gonna do a bunch of random topics so first topic is how should success be measured and by that measurement who is the most successful person you know oh this is fun okay you go first fuck you said that like you had an answer. No, no, no, no. All right. How should success be measured? That is a very interesting question.
Starting point is 00:21:34 I mean, it has to just be happiness, right? Yeah. It just has to be how happy you are. Well, that's the basic answer. I don't know. Like, it's definitively not money. No. It's definitively not money. No. It's definitively not fame.
Starting point is 00:21:46 But I do think that it's a formula that has to do with... And money is a part of it. Money's a part of it. You just have to have enough money to live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. However you want to live. Yeah. But aside from that, money I don't think is changing much.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah, but I don't know how you get get i don't know the formula to get happiness but i would say i think that you're you're in the lead for this for one of the most successful people because your lack of care about like what people say comment stuff like. I think like almost like free, you have like a free will to just like really not worry about what people are saying or anything like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:31 And I think that is a measure of happiness, which is the ultimate measure of success. You stay true to yourself. Yes. We need a new barometer for success. If that is the response that leads to me being in the conversation
Starting point is 00:22:49 you're a one percenter alright nevermind it's money no I think I struggle with like no I was just gonna say like I think I'm like I have a fantastic life and i like love every second of it but i still like have a feeling of like unsatisfaction well that's good you're supposed
Starting point is 00:23:15 to be satisfied right yeah i but i like get down on myself because i'm like wait i should be so happy like i mean i am happy but i should be so like content you, I mean, I am happy, but I should be so like content. You know? No, I do know. And let me say that if you become content, if you're like, well, I'm the producer of KFC Radio, so I made it.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Exactly, right? That's probably not where you should be, so that's good. Okay. But will I ever reach a point of being like... Probably not, but wouldn't that be boring? Yeah, that's good okay well but but will i ever reach a point of being like probably not but wouldn't that be boring yeah if if you just got if you're like well i've achieved everything it's like the same thing as like ignorance is bliss like if i if i was just like like i made it producer of kfc radio that's it like i'm happy for life then like that would just
Starting point is 00:24:03 be an awesome life yeah if you're fully content the whole time then it's like there's nothing else you need to be a loser though but in your head you're not but yeah but in my head i'm not but you know everyone thinks you are like that like yeah i mean that i i can't tell you how success is measured i can tell you how losing is measured it It's contentness. You're like, all right, I'm done. I finished. Then you lost.
Starting point is 00:24:32 I don't know. Yeah, I guess. But you have to reach a point at some point where you're like, all right, I'm done. I don't think so. Obviously, I'm not anywhere near retirement age but like if i if i just woke up and i had nothing to do that day i would be exceptionally bored yeah yeah like i i it's not something i've ever thought about really but i'm talking it out now like i i would want to have a job until i die yeah i don't want to retire yeah you have just got nothing to do yeah you have no goals
Starting point is 00:25:07 no uh aspirations no you just like i wake up and like well i got nothing to do today yeah i don't get sunday scaries like i'm dreading the week because like i love coming into work i get just sunday scaries in terms of like oh i have a full day and like i actually don't have anything to like that i need to do today other than like grocery shop and everything like that and i hate sundays because i'm just like there's too much time you know on a sunday yeah yeah you can get fucked up then that makes my monday i'm also at a point then i just have yeah you might say you're at about a point where like hangovers are you must say you're at a point
Starting point is 00:25:45 where like hangovers are bad no hangovers are bad but like the mental hangover like Sunday I also just hate because it's just like why did I say that why did I say that
Starting point is 00:25:53 why did I do that why did I oh my god why did I tell that guy I love you has your Tourette's been bad lately oh my god it's been incredible
Starting point is 00:26:04 I've just been having full blown conversations with myself what literally yes me and Jackie share this thing like when we're having has your uh Tourette's been bad lately oh my god right I've just been having full-blown conversations with myself what literally you and Jackie share this thing like when we're having a lot of usual usually anxiety or just anxiety in general it's just like talking to yourself and just kind of like tweaking out at an hour like I'll have a flashback from the night before I'm like you fucking yeah damn it it's like i have to like get it out yesterday fucking like i'm wearing the big patty the baddie right and dave walks by and he's like because he was like on the street and he was like oh i saw the patty the baddie like sweatshirt i was like who the hell is wearing that and i go i just go yeah i don't know why i was just like yeah I don't know why it's so big he didn't ask
Starting point is 00:26:48 why it was so big he literally just pointed out the sensor and been like oh I forgot that we had those yeah it's crazy so much anxiety after just being like why did I say that
Starting point is 00:27:03 what oh my god, I literally had so much anxiety after just being like, why did I say that? Why did I say that? What? Oh my god. Anyways. You and Dave are very, feels very much like Liz Lemon when she has a line once where she like, she botches some interaction and she just walks away and goes, another successful interaction with a man. You're that, but just with Dave. No, I'm not with every.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Here's the thing when i go out i need like warm-up conversations like whoever i'm talking to first i'm like fuck this sucks you're my warm-up like it's gonna be awkward like you're you're gonna get uncomfortable you're not gonna enjoy this conversation and i'm so sorry about that like even like you give your first first conversationalist the King Leonidas 300 speech before you rape somebody. You will not enjoy this. Like, sometimes, like, if I'm Ubering somewhere
Starting point is 00:27:54 and they start talking to me, I'm like, thank God. Like, I can warm up with this Uber driver right now. And then once I get to the function, it takes about, like, two or three times before I'm like,
Starting point is 00:28:03 all right, now we're kind of nailing this. And I'm just like, like oh my god can you just be a normal fucking person do you think that has to do with maybe the drinks you're having um you said that you said that i caught that too when i start talking booze i fall into irish pretty quick um it could be but also it's like even like on like a like now on a podcast like i don't like i need like 30 minutes yeah until like you know i say something of any kind of substance not that i'm even ever saying anything of substance you know what i mean but like with everything i need a warm-up it and it's like i just i also have like a i'm just slow to things in general i need like even like with
Starting point is 00:28:46 testing i would get all the first questions wrong and then the rest of them i would start to get them right but like i would be like you know what i mean anyways i just need to warm up all right next topic what is something popular now that annoys you djs oh yeah djs like the bar or no no like our djs back in djs are so back man and i think i get i think i get really annoyed because i'm really not in on it and i don't enjoy it but everyone else is enjoying him so much but i just can't fucking stand this dj era that we're in and i can't wait to get out of it like we're already back in dj back in dj air i guess it was like 15 years ago he'll be like what the fuck is up with john summit i just i don't get it dude everyone's obsessed with like the
Starting point is 00:29:34 fame popular djs right now and we'll pay like a crazy amount of money to go see them at a bar you can just listen to his music you can literally just play it like it's not playing anything live i don't i don't i don't get house music so it's just like i understand that a lot of people do but like yeah i think it's stupid for one i don't think if it doesn't have lyrics i can sing along to or dance to yes i don't want it i agree with that it makes it impossible to even talk to a girl even dance with a girl or something like that because what what are you going to do? Just this the entire time? Yeah. I mean, you guys are. It's crazy that this is already happening.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And this was when I was your age. Oh, really? Yeah. It would fuck it like 2008 to 2015. Like Avicii? Yeah. Yeah. No, we have like Avicii.
Starting point is 00:30:20 We have like 15 Avicii's right now. That's crazy. John Summit, I know that name i would i did not know djs were back in yeah because yeah you're like me you're white and and if i'm gonna get a girl home it ain't gonna be with my moves i gotta be how about we go to a speakeasy whiskey bar a little irish bar down a little wood chips on the floor you can't really hear much music and i just talk to you that's where i thrive what's popular that annoys you uh the you know i was actually thinking over the weekend because a few people were still
Starting point is 00:30:55 tweeting about f1 and i was like remember what everyone prepared pretended to care about that for three months that was great that was the most disingenuous movement i've ever been i've ever witnessed i think vegas flopped so bad when they did it in Vegas about a year ago. Yeah. And that kind of was just like, all right, this thing sucks. I mean, it was crazy. Every woman was tweeting about it, and every time I saw it, I was like, you don't believe what you're saying. I was like, this is great.
Starting point is 00:31:18 I hope Max Verstappen does well. Shut up. But it's a cool sport. They are cool people. Yeah. cool sport. They are cool people. Yeah. For sure. They are cool. I have no interest in watching it.
Starting point is 00:31:29 No. But the athletes themselves, I see the appeal. I think, what's his name? Not Laird. Lewis Hamilton. I believe he owned two $25 million apartments on the same street in New York. Really? They're bananas. yeah like they have insane money which is crazy because who is i guess it's all just rich people that are kind of funding it so that's why they have so much money because rich people are the only people that can afford
Starting point is 00:31:55 to go yeah it's like golf yeah it's like it's a it's a not small number but it's definitely a minority like viewed sport numbers wise but the demographic of the people who watch it and consume it yeah yep how did how did nascar and f1 get so far from each other like branding wise like nascar americans and europeans yeah there's uh One of them are Historically considered Suave and intelligent And sexy
Starting point is 00:32:29 Another one's considered Fat and loud What kind of sport Where would Golf originate from? Golf? Scottish Scottish Yeah that checks out
Starting point is 00:32:39 I believe so At least according to A Robin Williams stand up bit He does all things In a Scottish accent It's very funny The Skateboarders In the Olympics I believe so, at least according to a Robin Williams stand-up bit. He does all things in a Scottish accent. It's very funny. The skateboarders in the Olympics.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Sexy. And they put them in really cool outfits, too. Aren't they all, like, 12? No. No, I've looked a lot of them up. Some of them are. Those ones aren't as hot, but they do show potential. No, the, like, 24-year-old of age ones. To clarify.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Sexy. There's one like 51-year-old. Really? I wasn't, he wasn't sexy, but he was 51. Yeah. I think I would, who's the oldest Olympian? Can we look that up? He probably had to have been.
Starting point is 00:33:24 I think that's like a 62 year old ping pong oh really oh yeah that well oh yeah 51 was that turkish dude yeah the shooter yeah that's right i also okay the horse jumping people you're not you're not the athlete yeah the horse is the athlete and i'm so scared that the horse doesn't like know that he's the athlete what if he doesn't know that he's like an olympic gold medalist well i'll answer that one for you right now he surely doesn't know that it's so sad like he might know he's better than the other horses he's definitely not like damn i crushed paris can't wait for la in four years we're running it back like sometimes they're in like commercials
Starting point is 00:34:07 and it's like you're not getting paid but you do all the work and then the person who sits on top of you takes all your money uh i guess to alleviate that fear of yours uh it's the owner who takes all the money oh okay yeah the jockey i think they're they don't get paid i don't think they're doing so hot oh really yeah they're little they're short... They don't get paid very well. I don't think they're doing so hot. Oh, really? Yeah. They're little. They're short in there. They really don't have a leg to stand on. Steve, another topic. I think we're getting a little groove now.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Who would be the worst person to be stuck in the elevator with? How about the best person to be stuck in an elevator with? Bam Margera. Obviously, somebody... What? Who's that? Bam Margera. somebody what who's that bam margera i don't know he i mean like i like bam but also he kind of just looks like he stinks now and uh and i mean i mean that odor wise and i feel like he might try and do something fucky with the elevator as a little prank and i don't like elevator prank that's a good answer why can't you unclick elevator buttons? Is that a safety hazard? Great question. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I feel like maybe it's because if you're obviously a girl and you're stuck in an elevator with a guy and he unclicks your floor. That's bad news. That's bad news. Dude, I think I talked about this. I forget if it was on this show or at a live show. I saw a video about how to be in an elevator with a woman and yeah it's ruined every other you're supposed to always be fit obviously always be facing the door it was but that was one but it was also like you
Starting point is 00:35:39 have to click it first you have to click your button first and also if you're on the same floor make sure you get off first and i never thought about it it never was something that crossed my mind you know is this woman uncomfortable in an elevator with me and now it's all i fucking think about and then my you know it's like an animal like if you're scared they're scared yeah so now i'm in an elevator just giving out the most nervous energy all the time and they're like what the fuck is this weird i'm gonna do and i'm thinking what did you think i'm gonna do what did you think that is like i don't i don't think about it but every once in a while i will think about it and i wonder if it's because like they all of a sudden are in their head like giving off nervous energy
Starting point is 00:36:21 yeah it's like it is weird that humans like can pick up like energy or whatever but other than that i would never think about it it's the only thing yeah like i i i like i won't i won't this has never happened but i'm picturing if it if it did like in a movie when someone's rushing to like hold the elevator hold the elevator i would be slamming door closed if a woman was coming you don't want this trust me it's a fucking nightmare inside this elevator just like it is inside my head um yeah well i mean i guess the worst person we stuck in the elevator with is like yes i think you're saying me like just some guy who keeps lunging forward like all right dude relax no i wanted to do that just to make you feel safe i mean i i've said this before like i get so in my head if like if i'm
Starting point is 00:37:12 if a guy's walking behind me i get in my head that he's getting in his head being like i don't want to like make her think i'm following her so i'll like slow down so that i'm like especially like if it's like a black person i don't want them thinking i i don't am like racist you know like and i'm like i'm scared so i'll just show them like like i don't care i'll like walk really slow and then it's just kind of like then i'm then I'm just like getting in their way. I just like, I don't handle it well. I get in my head. That's another one. I'm just like, just be a normal fucking person.
Starting point is 00:37:52 The white guilt. I said this to you the other day, but around my neighborhood in East Village, the other last week just started popping up these circles. And you know how like sometimes people do the- Bad luck spot luck spot wait wait wait bad luck spots and there's usually sometimes there's kissing spots there's these are all like the tropes somebody decided to cause havoc in the east village last week and just put hundreds of racist spots and it's making my commute to work a fucking disaster because they're unavoidable. It's not like there's one.
Starting point is 00:38:26 They're everywhere, and I know they did it on purpose, and God forbid I pass somebody of color while walking past the gauntlet of racist spots. I'm like, I'm juking them. I make sure if they see me, I'm like, I jump over it. I mean, they're everywhere, and then there's this one that's right it's next to a park in lower east side and it's fucking massive i mean it's like 30 feet
Starting point is 00:38:51 wide it's called the super super racist spot they made it so you literally can't you'd rather have to walk in the middle of the street or you're walking on the super racist spot i hate this when i tell you i hate this guy i hate this guy because even the bad luck spots like bad luck i know that it's stupid i know it's gonna be fine if i walk into that spot i can't do it i've never said i don't think it will i think bad luck spots are real i think like i would never touch one yeah but this is the racist that's crazy do you have a job felix morello that's his name you guys he's an artist it's literally like it just causes havoc throughout the city i i hate them so much oh my god i haven't even seen the racist spots i i i have not dealt with any of these spots um i don't know if i'd have the same i i think i'd just walk
Starting point is 00:39:37 i think i think this is well you like you know like you step on a crack you break my back yeah and like she's fine like i stepped on a lot of cracks in my day. But I'm just sometimes like, I don't want to test it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I get what you're saying to an extent. Like, if there's a ladder, I'm not going to be brash and go under it.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I'm just going to, if it's easily avoidable. But it's picturing you going like a top scotch. Well, I mean, if I'm walking and no one's on the street, yeah, I'm going to walk right through all the racist spots. I know that they're not fucking real. But if other people are watching me. I'd go just to, I would do it like from hole to hole, circle to circle. I would stay exclusively in the racist spot.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Because theoretically, that's where you're allowed to be racist. I guess you're right. Yeah. That's a good point. because theoretically that's where you're allowed to be racist i guess you're right yeah i can't step on the regular street trust me dude just walk it's fine it's not fine this is my chosen pathway um yeah new topic which tv show do you want your life to be like honestly it's probably like sunny really yeah that's probably the last one i'd want my life they're like living in poverty basically but they're all like living with all their friends yeah yeah but they all like yeah they all don't
Starting point is 00:40:57 actually like have each other's backs you can't rely on any of them but that's like that's yeah no you're right you're right but it is a i don't know sunny's just one that's just so near and dear to me um it it's it's something like that though like it's just friends in a bar yeah yeah i mean like friend can we just like look up like it's like such an easily attainable thing for all of us to have. You just meet up with your three friends every day. No, because I have to get a full ranch right now. Yeah, I started this with being like, well, you got to have goals. My goal is to live in poverty.
Starting point is 00:41:37 You can just go do that, dude. Just go right now. We could literally go downstairs over to fucking Mustangang harry's um all right another topic strangest themed restaurant you've heard of i i never did the i i never did rainforest cafe rainforest cafe i've done in my when i was older um uh bugaboo creek was a big one in Seekonk, Mass, but it was just like woods themed. I never got the Dicks, like Dicks Last Resort and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:42:14 What's that? There's another one of a similar name, but it's like everyone's really mean to you and the wait staff is rude to you. I hate that. There's Dicks Last Resort but it's like everyone's really mean to you and like the wait staff is rude to you oh yeah yeah yeah there's dick's last resort and there was there was another one earlier on that was popular as well and i was just like well i would have wanted to come here's your fucking food
Starting point is 00:42:34 this sucks but i feel like there's only like so much that they could say other than just like you know yeah like i they'll eat they'll eat the food off your plate and shit like that yeah i've seen that i've seen that very weird but this sucks like hey we did a theme restaurant where everyone is a dickhead and rude and disgusting that's not what i like yeah i also i feel like the um question is resurfacing right now like do door dash drivers like take some of your food and as a former door dash driver i can say i absolutely did i would never like open a bag like it was like sealed but like if they were just fries out like absolutely i would take some but they i thought they seal bags now right now they like staple
Starting point is 00:43:17 them or tape them down or something like that but every once in a while like for the most part 50 and this was like a few years ago that i did it but like 50 would be sealed up but like there's like another 50 that like wasn't it's so crazy you were a high school door dash driver i was in college you're in college but you were like 18 right summer in college yeah it probably was 18 it was freshman yeah i would have been 18 dude that's my parents wouldn't let me be a delivery driver my parents i know my mom but the they're like you're not delivering food and and i was okay they let i need money can i have money they will not you can't have money either but i mean there are other jobs yeah it was i couldn't be uh i couldn't be a pizza delivery
Starting point is 00:43:55 guy and i couldn't be a bouncer what what do you think your least favorite job would be i i like working so i i've liked every job i ever had i i was a landscaper i love that i worked on a sailboat i love that bartended i love that worked at gnc i love that um uh barstool obviously in general like if you had to have one job what would be your least anything where i had to get up early. But even like the landscaping I liked. I don't know. It was just me and like eight Brazilian dudes.
Starting point is 00:44:30 We just fucking cut grass, smoked grass, drank. It was tight. It was really fun. But the yeah, anything. Honestly, I still stand by this when when matt lauer got arrested or whatever he did got in trouble and it came out that he made 42 million dollars a year and i was like i would not do his job for 42 million dollars a year i would hate to be a writer who has deadlines i don't i don't like writing i don't like deadlines
Starting point is 00:45:02 that would be my that's my all-time thing to do at the job. I can see you being a good writer, though. I'm not bad at it, but if I have an essay, I will spend the max amount of time possible on it. And I will literally have to take so much Adderall. I'm too ADHD to sit down and write an essay. I can write three sentences at a time. I cannot do it for the life of me.
Starting point is 00:45:28 I just started writing again. It is probably the most therapeutic thing. What have you been writing? Well, sketches first of all. Oh, yeah. And just like other things, just like thoughts.
Starting point is 00:45:36 And it's by far the most therapeutic thing I think I've ever done. Yeah. And I just spent my whole life not writing. I didn't write for, like I just always.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Dude, when I was in college, like the only classes I would do were writing classes. Writing, yeah. Like, I just wouldn't do or show up to anything else. And, like, that's the only reason I lasted in college as long as I did because I would get good grades in writing. Yeah. And I'd get literal Fs in everything else. And they were like, somehow you have a GPA that lets you continue at this school. But the, it is, writing is the best right it is getting lost in it because i think that's the only time i do spend like a lot of
Starting point is 00:46:12 time on my phone and like when i'm not on my phone i'm usually talking to my friends or i'm talking to somebody that's the only time i lock in on something that's not my phone and can just like block out everything else because i don't like video games i struggle watching movies i struggle watching tv shows writing is like just locked fuck it's so funny that you struggle watching movies and tv shows it's what you do i've done a little bit of research into that i'm like this is this bad like should i not choose this profession because i have an inability to like stay still and stay interested in a movie and it's like a lot of directors and writers also like just have no interest in it i i can see that all right one more topic jackie what are your goals for the next two years
Starting point is 00:46:55 i don't oh my god i literally don't know what are your goals for the next two years this is i think i'm going through. Lay us out the Nichols plan. No. Okay, the Nichols plan. Wait, can somebody else go first? Mm-mm. Ladies first. We're being polite.
Starting point is 00:47:15 My goals, guys, I actually, like, don't know what I want to do or who I am or, like, anything. You know what I want to do, actually, am or like anything. You know what I want to do actually is just find a famous golfer, date him, be, become part of like just the elite, classy golf wife, wags, go to golf games,
Starting point is 00:47:42 drink on the sidelines, have an Aperol spritz in my hand. I laugh at the girls. I go, oh, he's so good. And then we go and we, like, kind of, you know, like, I dabble in, like, I go to red carpets with him. But I'm like, no, babe, like, I don't like the spotlight. Like, you go or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:01 But, like, the media is so curious about me. They're like, who is she? Like, you know like she's just this girl and then and then it's like and like the thing is i don't know if i like am have the golf wife like i would have to do a lot of i would have to get a lot of new clothes like i have to do like a lot of like i'd have to like say swear words a lot less like i'd have to become a whole new person i think i could rise up to the occasion i think i could do it true and maybe it's like maybe i changed the game of golf wives a little bit and i kind of bring a little bit of edge to them you
Starting point is 00:48:36 know and and that's my goal for the next two years that is a very detailed and thought out i haven't even thought about it that much so i have bad news for you for the last part of that. Polina Gretzky is alive. She kind of changed the whole. I was going to interrupt you on that. Gretzky, Gretzky redefined the golf bag. Yeah. She will.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Exactly. I was going to say you can redefine it again, but she kind of defined it to what you want to define it to. Yeah. That's. Maybe I'll go even edgier. Jack me on the sidelines saying cunt. I'm like all black boots.
Starting point is 00:49:15 It's hard to top that. That was so specific. Yeah. I was going to say like, get better at my job or something gay. I wasn't going to redefine the wife and girlfriend industry yeah it's really like breaking borders it's it's it's something out of order related um i don't know what it is exactly but i like doing out of order and i would like to keep doing it for more people okay but uh you have to get more specific i just got really specific i don't i don't know what the
Starting point is 00:49:47 answer to that is i i think the answer is in the immediate is doing more yeah good sketches and then just seeing where that goes i don't like plans so yeah i like doing this right now and we'll see where it goes yeah and i hope but i hope it goes somewhere save it save his fights yeah all right steve uh graduate college maybe magna cum laude that'd be cool uh health care honor society at school uh wait what like i'm a i'm a health care major even though i'm an intern i thought you were saying you wanted health no no no no you're a 26 dog uh graduate then like get better at premiere i'm gonna take a class on that at pc uh then i guess just get back here hopefully hell yeah yeah all right voicemails bang steve i think you're gonna achieve all your goals but i think i think the three of us are
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Starting point is 00:52:14 buzz and there's no hangover there's no backfire it's really a perfect summertime drink and a perfect way to get your buzz on so drink can.com promo code kfc20 hey kfc radio uh just saw rosebud baker here in nashville this past weekend she was incredible lived up to all the hype of uh all of her appearances on your guys show so got me thinking of all the entertainers that you've had on the show that you have not seen perform live who would you most want to see and why thanks probably abella Probably a Bella. I would not want to see a Bella before I'm alive. I think under-talked about part of the Amsterdam experience was that the night before we got there,
Starting point is 00:52:58 they all went to a live sex show because that was the original plan, was to take us to a live sex show. And they went to one and they were like pretty quickly you're just watching two people have sex yeah and like not in a fun way like not that they're having violent sex or anything like that but just like i don't know sex at least the way i do it i can't imagine it's like a great visual experience no one's like it's not patrick bateman right i'm not like it's like a great visual experience. No one's like, it's not Patrick Bateman, right? I'm not like,
Starting point is 00:53:27 it's a fucking, it's not pretty. It's fucking gross. Yeah, okay. That's meant to be like artistic to watch or is it kind of pervertive? I think more intriguing than perverted. It's like people aren't, to be perverted, if you use the word perverted, I feel like you're pounding off. It's like people aren't like to be perverted.
Starting point is 00:53:46 But if you're using the word perverted, I feel like you're pounding off. Yeah. And people aren't pounding off. Okay. It's just like watching. Well, so I've been to one in Amsterdam that was like. You have? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:57 The live sex show? Yeah. But they were also were like, it was, it was kind of like, I almost feel like what you went to, like, where it was like, she had like, like what you went to like where it was like she had like like they were having sex but it was also like performative i didn't go to that one oh you didn't they went the night before we got there oh but that was that was more just oh yeah then i went to a sex show and it was um it was sex it was exactly what you think but i was kind of like yeah but you weren't grossed out by it uh like burt and and and like his crew were like it's not fun no it's not it's not like you're not like oh like getting like hot also like going with
Starting point is 00:54:41 anyone you know and you have to talk it's not like you when you go see a movie you talk about it afterwards yeah yeah yeah you got me now now i want to talk about it if i went yeah we break down we break it down but the whole time i would be worried like you said when you want to go see a movie with nate i'm like are they enjoying this oh yeah am i enjoying this too much or too little that's a great point yeah that's a great point i do actually remember being like oh my god like what if i get like kind of like hot and bought and there's obviously an element of getting like a little like turned on with it and but like it is like gross enough and like the people are it's like performative enough where you're kind of like able to like keep it in your pants but i could see how like some people wouldn't be able to i was kind of like why are we trusting
Starting point is 00:55:29 like you know like if i had any less like so you know what i mean like had any less self-control like people would be pounding off in the in the so you what i'm picking up is you really like if I had a semblance of less self-control I'd been fucking masturbating in the seat no no no but like
Starting point is 00:55:54 obviously like I feel like the more I talk about I just like paint a weird picture but you know Jackie was the first woman
Starting point is 00:56:03 ever kicked out for jerking off this has never happened but you gotta go my friends are like what is happening no um i can see that being there with your buddy be like are you hard right now no i would imagine like guys going with each other it's like that's well that's like this i mean guys Guys love going to strip clubs together. I think that's a very shrinking number.
Starting point is 00:56:30 I don't think. I think my age group, my friends. I guess maybe it's with every friend group. You have one strip club guy. Yeah. But I've never really. When I was like 17, I'd go to a lot of strip clubs. Like 17 to 19, I was in clubs.
Starting point is 00:56:46 I got a lot of... I don't have any strip club friends. I got a lot of rub and tug friends. A lot of rub and tug friends. But as for the question itself, who... I mean, I've seen basically everybody who's come through here. I guess this like... Because he has a podcast but nate bergatzi is just like everything he says is so funny so funny they're like i even just i would like just to hear
Starting point is 00:57:11 him talk yeah i think kevin said to nate like our very first time interview or actually our first time together kevin had interviewed nate before that um solo uh but our first time together he's like it's such a cheat code like but which is it's unfair to say that it's just your voice it's like no it's not a lot of people have that voice it's how he uses that voice and how where he takes his pauses and all that stuff but yeah literally everything every single thing he says is the funniest thing i've ever heard it's so funny i i talk about it all the time the clip of him on the show in nashville when his wife starts choking is the funniest thing i've ever heard i've ever been a part of like we were in nashville for uh national
Starting point is 00:57:51 comedy fest and we rented an airbnb and we were you were there right yeah yeah yeah and um nate's wife came because nate had a show with the rhyman right after our interview and she was going to that so she came as well and she's kind of just watching in the background and she starts coughing and on the clip you can you can hear her she's coughing pretty good in the back and eventually the cough starts you know the cough escalates and you're like oh this might be serious and the cough escalates and i pop up kevin pops up i think everyone else in the room popped up looking for water and nate is so casually sitting there she goes ask my wife should be all right and he throws he throws like a peanut in his mouth and the way he says it should be all right he goes i've seen her choke a million times she wins every time did i ever tell you guys about the time that I definitely told you? Like, I rode, like, a mechanical bull in front of Shane
Starting point is 00:58:49 in Stuff Island and everything or whatever. I don't know where anybody the fuck was. But I was, like, there. And I was, like, sober. And I bet Chris O'Connor. No, Chris O'Connor had done the mechanical bull. And he did it for like no time and i was like wow you really like fucked up and he was like um because this was in nashville yeah
Starting point is 00:59:12 that's what i thought of it and then he like was like oh like you could do better whatever and like ended up betting me 30 that i could do it but i was like so sober and i was like oh my god if kevin and john look over and i'm riding this mechanical bull in front of like the most important people ever i was like no no like i'm not doing it i'm sober i'm not doing it or whatever they would like whatever and then it ended up being like shane was in on it like everyone so then i was like well now i can't say no and so then i did it oh my. I think about that once a month and how much anxiety, because then obviously I got on, it looked really slutty. And then like I fell off and that was embarrassing in itself too.
Starting point is 00:59:53 And like Shane even like took a video of it. And like after he was like, I deleted that. And every time I'm like, I knew I didn't want to do that. Like that was something that I didn't want to do. I think about that all the time. And for the record, I can't imagine a world in which Kevin and I look over and see you on a bull at a bar that we brought you to that has a bull in it. I think, what the fuck is Jackie doing on the bull?
Starting point is 01:00:18 We're not going to bring her to VIP stuff anymore. I mean, you are aware of this. That would have the exact opposite reaction like fuck yeah jackie's ripping it up yeah yeah i guess i guess but it wasn't like i didn't play it well oh my god what's up guys so um a bit of a weird story over the past couple of days i've been receiving a lot of amazon packages which is not weird in and of itself um but my fiancee was gone so i just assumed she bought them um but when she got home yesterday she was like i didn't order anything on amazon
Starting point is 01:00:50 again not that weird so i forgot we opened them up and they were all black ski masks i shit you not seven boxes of black ski masks separately. So that's weird. And I swear to God, as I was recording this video, I got more. Look at this shit. It's about 11 boxes of black ski masks that had been ordered to my house, addressed to me and my fiance with our names and our address uh so i asked amazon what the fuck's going on they're like don't worry you haven't been charged for them like that wasn't my concern though my concern was that i wasn't being charged who is sending us 11 boxes of black ski masks um so i guess i don't have a question other than am I about to get
Starting point is 01:01:45 murdered or what's going on here and has anything weird like that ever happened to any of y'all no nothing like that's happened but we have to do this to Kevin we have to do this to Kevin 100% just start mailing
Starting point is 01:02:04 him Steve keep it a secret I'm thinking 100% oh yeah like just start mailing him yeah Steve you gotta keep a secret I'm thinking maybe I'm thinking too big yeah I don't know
Starting point is 01:02:11 if you guys reel me in if I'm a little off the rails here but like stuff to build a bomb yeah
Starting point is 01:02:17 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:19 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:19 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:20 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:20 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:21 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:21 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:02:23 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Like, we'll do it. We'll start it slowly. Like, first, we'll mail him American... What is it? The book Oppenheimer's based on. American Pharaoh? American something.
Starting point is 01:02:35 It's the book that Oppenheimer's based on. We just send him that first. He's like, this is fucking weird. And then the next week, we send him, like, Plutonian. Yeah. Wait, send what? I don't think they sell plutonium. American Prometheus.
Starting point is 01:02:48 American Prometheus, yes. We're just going to Google how to make a bomb to find all the items. I pointed over to you. I was like, don't do that. But I think you can just type in Amazon bomb products. Yeah. We could even just do like rope like chloroform let's just let's just start sending kevin really weird shit yeah and and maybe some stuff no because i was gonna say if it alludes to the haunting he's gonna he's gonna stuff that out
Starting point is 01:03:17 yeah he's gonna be like someone's heard about the haunting and it's found my address ski masks is something where it's like ominous enough where it's like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I also think that they're, the fact that they're black, if they were a bunch of different colors,
Starting point is 01:03:30 if you like threw a red one in there or a lime green one, because I don't know. That's what you rob a bank with. Yeah. Yeah. You rob a bank with a lime green mask. Is it,
Starting point is 01:03:39 what is it? A shysty. That. That. Okay. That's just a cooler name for that. That's the whitest thing of all time. What is a shysty that that okay that's that's just a cool name for that that's the whitest thing
Starting point is 01:03:45 of all time what is a a shysty it's a cool ass word the yeah we gotta
Starting point is 01:03:54 we gotta do that that's a great idea and and we have to keep a secret and he's gonna come and I'm gonna get
Starting point is 01:04:00 the craziest stuff that's nuts must be Alex Bennett everyone listening to this I made everyone in the room swear and promise I'm getting the craziest stuff. That's nuts. It must be Alex Bennett. Everyone listening to this, I made everyone in the room swear a promise, but everyone listening to this also has to keep the promise. Don't send ideas on what we should send.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Yeah. DM the KFC radio account. Something violent, for sure. For sure something violent. Or just like... Should we just start sending him a bunch of things that you could build a baseball field with? Kind of make it like a field of dreams situation? Be sick of these.
Starting point is 01:04:34 No, I want it to be like Eagle Eye. Like when Shia LaBeouf gets home in Eagle Eye and his fucking apartment is outfitted with tactical gear because the government's setting him up and he's like, where the fuck did all this stuff come from? I'm like Kevin and be like, why do I have seven AR-15s? All right. Last voicemail. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:55 What's up, guys? I have a question based on something that happened to me last night. So I was just chilling in my room. I was hungry as fuck. There was like no good food in my house and for some reason there was like chocolate bar in my desk and it was wrapped in like brown paper and I remembered it being there I was like oh fuck chocolate like let's go ate the whole thing um and then I was like where's that chocolate from because it kind of tasted funny but I still ate the whole thing I was like it's chocolate I remembered it was edibles and it was like a big
Starting point is 01:05:35 chocolate bar and I was like huh when did I ever eat this and only take one tiny like square of chocolate off you know like because that's just not me like no or anyone who eats one square anyways i should have fucking realized but i'd already eaten the whole thing so i was like okay well now i'm gonna be out of commission for a fucking long time so my question basically is like when you realize this and you know there's nothing you can do and you are just going to be like high as balls for like a long time what's first of all like the first thing you do like is there anything you want to do before you it hits and then second thing like when you are high what do you do i know like fights is gonna like eat a lot probably i mean that's what i did but it was so much like weed that i felt sick too so
Starting point is 01:06:29 yeah i don't know what what's your game plan first of all i love this chick um she calls it a lot she's pretty she's engaged it's really easy to be like be easy on the eyes and be engaged that person's awesome don't don't be grotesque um the uh um my i first of all i love doing this because i get so high so easily i basically every time i smoke it's like this feeling she has like i know what's coming yeah and it it basically puts i hate that feeling so oh i love it because because it makes you start doing like i i'll i like i like won't smoke until like 9 p.m 10 p.m something like that and then it's a race that i got as much done before yeah i gotta clean up as much as i can
Starting point is 01:07:25 i go shower get in bed and it's awesome i love that yeah yeah yeah like it's like basically it's a it's a kick in the ass to get ready to pass out that that is true there is like a 20 minute window where you're like i'm just about to be stupid in like 20 minutes i have something similar where i've been taking them before I go out, but I pretty much city bike everywhere I go. So I take one, and I gotta just race to the spot that I'm going to. Because I don't want to be stoned on a city bike. That's scary
Starting point is 01:07:54 being stoned. I'm surprised you've taken four going out. Going out high is not for me. The mushroom bars that you buy around here? I'm just giggling. I'm having a good time. It kind of feels like an upper. You're just a little bit happier. Mushroom bars don't hit me like that.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Mushrooms do. I don't do mushrooms. I just do mushroom bars. Mushroom chocolates don't really do anything, but I get sweaty. You know what I've been doing when I'm tired? It just hits a blue light in my eyes. I'll just do this. You know how it keeps you up?
Starting point is 01:08:23 I don't do drugs at all, but apparently it's the blue light. It keeps you up. I truly think it works. I just just do this because you know how it keeps you up? I don't do drugs at all, but apparently it's the blue light that keeps you up. I truly think it works. I just go like this. And the way you guys are looking at me, nobody else can relate, obviously. But that's what I do. I swear to God it works. So you'll do it at a bar?
Starting point is 01:08:42 Privately, yeah. People think you're an agent. So you're at a bar like privately people think like you're an agent it's just like so you're like so you're at a bar i just go we're just gonna take a moment right now and and you'll be like guys i'll be right back i gotta go to the bathroom real quick and and you'll come back with a bunch of energy and then you'll do that five six times throughout the night no like you should just do cocaine and so i have to resort to blue light so are you are you just a hell of a drug are you hitting both eyes i'm in both eyes you got to get up in there and you got to go like that so you are you're 24 you're 24 years old and you're in a bar bathroom alone no i'll do it in front of friends blue light down
Starting point is 01:09:25 your eyes i'll do it in front of friends too it started as a joke until i was like this shit works like at first i was kind of like because normally like my my um thing automatically like goes to like nighttime mode and so then i'd be like we're not going to nighttime mode boys and then i'd be like and then it's like blue light and i just end up going with hits of blue light and it's it doesn't work as well as cocaine but if i mentally at least it helps me a little bit man sometimes i'm like jackie's pretty normal and then other times i'll be like what is wrong with you it definitely like looks a little weird. It looks a lot weirder. I have to either do it in private or in joking.
Starting point is 01:10:07 Like, ha, this is so funny. But I truly need to do it to stay up. No, this also reminds me of the first time I ever smoked weed. I got way too high. And I was with a friend. And I was just being so weird. But then I kept freaking out to my friend, being like, oh, my god, I'm being so weird. Everyone knows I that but then my i kept like freaking out to my friend being like oh my god i'm being so weird everyone knows i'm high like whatever because
Starting point is 01:10:28 we were in public and she was like no no it's like that's all in your head like you're like you're literally being so normal so then in my head like i was like i was like oh i can do whatever i want like i don't like i like nobody's gonna know that i'm smoking weed so then i started like kind of like pushing those and then i just remember she was like, all right, now you're being kind of weird. I would be like going up to people and like staring at them, like kind of and making them uncomfortable. And she would have to be like, OK, now you're being weird. And that kind of scarred me from weed forever where I was like, OK, I don't trust myself. Like I'm going to be weird on it.
Starting point is 01:11:02 I'm going to go up to people and stare at them. That's insane. trust myself like i'm gonna be weird on it and like i'm gonna go up to people and stare at them that is insane yeah um yeah and then eating would be my other one i i actually i think i told you guys off air but i fell asleep with raspberries in my bed the other night yeah i've been trying to eat healthier at night and um i i this was unconscious i don't remember doing it but i guess i got went to my freezer keep them all frozen and got a box of raspberries out at some point and fell back asleep with them in bed and then just rolled all over him and woke up and it was just like like the horse head was in my bed there's a lot of red goo everywhere you know how hard that is to wake up as a 35 year old and and just be covered in raspberries? You do that all the time.
Starting point is 01:11:46 It's got to be like – Do you have white sheets? Yeah. That's crazy for your dog. I mean they might be bone shell or something like that. It's crazy for you to know that is a color and also just be eating in your bed. That sums you up perfectly. That is so true. eating in your bed that sums you up perfectly yeah that do you guys ever wake up with drool on your pillow and you get like jacked up about it like that was a good ass sleep dude i don't i've never done it i've had girls do it on my pillow
Starting point is 01:12:18 and i'm like you fucking animal yeah i do it like sometimes when I do it too, it literally feels like I'm a cartoon. I'll wake up like, you know like that? Oh my God. I've done that before. I've drooled pretty heavily on a guy. Just trying to wipe it off, but he obviously saw.
Starting point is 01:12:40 Yeah. All right. That's the episode. All right. Thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, and leave a comment below. Click that button.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Or I'll cut off my finger.

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