KFC Radio - Francis Explains Walking In on Mintzy During Surviving Barstool Filming - Full Episode

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 01:36 Francis' tutoring career before Barstool 06:20 Nikki's cut jokes she told on Howard Stern 10:39 Francis walking in on Mintzy JOing 19:45 Francis' contract was sent after he was voted out of Surviving Barstool 27:00 Francis' relationship with Dave Portnoy 38:06 Francis giving his idol to Dave 43:05 Blocking cars on the shoulder series 52:49 Francis' divorce 01:00:04 Francis on Foreplay 01:02:55 Sas and the kettle bell 01:11:58 Getting paid well as a comic vs a barstool employee ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Presented by Jackpocket: GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, in NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. 1 per new customer. Enter promo code at checkout for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Terms: jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/. Based on iOS download data collected by Sensor Tower from October 2024. Scratch tickets subject to availability Gametime: Download the Gametime app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with Gametime Picks! Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code KFC. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 2/9/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Huel: Get Huel today with this exclusive offer of 15% OFF + a FREE Gift at https://huel.com/kfc15 BlueChew: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. TBS: The Joe Schmo Show premieres Tuesday, January 21st at 9PM ET/PT on TBSYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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I should have done that. No, no. We have a broken chair that we're waiting to... I like this. Thanks, bud. You look great. You look like you're going to teach me. Teach me poetry. Bro, that's your gig. I i just taught dana how to treat uh a snake bite if he's ever bitten by a snake do you know that or you research it okay yeah so at this point you're you're you're you're yeah most of the things i have to do a quick 30 minute kind of yeah it is it is impressive how much shit you know, though. Thank you. I stick to the things I know.

Well, yeah, but just like math and shit that most people forget. That's all from tutoring. That was all tutoring. But do you think you would know that if you weren't tutoring? You think you would stick with you? All the geometry stuff, more like Algebra 2 stuff, probably wouldn't have remembered it. But I tutored it for years. So I just got

fluent in it again what were you got good grades in school yeah well like so i mean it takes a lot to be like i'm gonna be a tutor like i know this shit like i can teach tutoring middle school you know i don't mean feidelberg couldn't tutor middle schoolers i I was not allowed to. You guys could all tutor. Keep talking. Keep talking. Oh, he didn't have his mic. I didn't know. Oh, oh, oh. We started going, so.

Okay, cool. Sorry. No, that's okay. You used to make money doing that? Good money? Very good money. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you stop because it got weird? No, I got stopped because I got hired at Barstool. I tutored one of my friends. I tutored one of your friends? Dean. That's right. He became like a very important person in my life. Yeah.

I moved it. That was my first year in New York. I was living with buddies. I was working at an agency. And then I met this family through my aunt. She recommended me to them. And they had two boys and a single dad. And I started tutoring them.

And then he asked if I wanted to move into their extra. They had a spare bedroom in exchange, like free room and board. And then tutoring the boys for free, but also he would go on business trips and I would stay and just kind of like manny a little bit. And I moved in with them to save money. Whoa, that's kind of fucking weird Yeah

Yeah But they Dude The older The older son At the time They were like I don't know

13 and 11 But I became so close With this family That the older son Officiated my wedding Oh wow And they were both groomsmen Holy shit

Yeah That's some story So they're like My brothers Yeah At this point Yeah And they're your friends?

Well Dean is I went to USC with him. You were the first person technically I met at Barstool because like when I applied, he was like, oh, I know someone from Barstool. And then FaceTimed you. I mean, it was over FaceTime. We FaceTimed? And then we FaceTimed before. And I was like, hi.

Pretty memorable, huh? And you were kind of like, what up, bit? Like, why are you here? Were you guys at like a party at USC? Yeah, I was really shit-faced. Oh, my God, I just applied! You probably were like, fuck this bitch. I was so annoyed.

Yeah, I would have been. I mean, if you'd been in a meeting room and we'd Zoomed or something, I would have taken it seriously. It was probably like 12 our time. It was probably like three. Exactly when you want to FaceTime someone, you're like potential blood. Where did we call our guys? My dad was trying to tutor recently just as like something to do kind of in retirement.

And whatever school or whatever he was doing it through started out just like SAT stuff because he's like good at math. And then they started sending him like special needs people. And he like i'm out like i'm not qualified for this that requires training he's like i'm just trying to kill some time to get out of the house for my wife i don't know i'm not qualified for this shit right here dude my my mom wanted to adopt a kid recently yeah and my dad was like no no! Fucking no. Dude, that is a literal nightmare

for a 60-something-year-old dad who's done, he's finished, and he's like, we're just going to press the reset button with a kid that's not even really ours. And I was like, you want to adopt a kid? My dad was like, fuck, the kid's just got out of the house. That is a terrible idea. What kind of kid did he want to adopt?

A human one. But like A little baby? A young kid for sure I believe Asian was thrown out Little Asian baby? That's usually what it is right? Imagine I just showed up

With a Chinese brother It would be pretty awesome But yo it's my brother. You can't talk yet. 30 years older than him. What did you think of the jokes Nikki cut from the Golden Globes? I did not see those. They're fucking hilarious.

I thought most of them were good cuts. You think? Like the Joker 2 one. Nothing, obviously. I think she should have gone for some groans. I would have liked them. good cuts. You think? Like the Joker 2 one. Nothing, obviously. I think she should have gone for some groans. I would have liked them. Yeah, pull them up here. I just thought...

The Kate Winslet one is money. I don't know if I saw that one. Said Kate Winslet's a lot like cocaine. She's white. She's always around Leonardo DiCaprio, and I'll be looking for her at the after party. That's a good joke. That's a great joke.

That should have been in there. I agree. The other ones were pretty dark. I wasn't even thinking darkness. I was just thinking they weren't that. They weren't to a level. Oh, I thought they were pretty funny. That one.

I didn't say they were unfunny, but she was so good. The Glenn Powell one, who would have thought you'd be the second hottest hitman this year, that's a great one. That's a great joke. Adrian Brody would go back in time and thank baby Hitler for his career. That's a great joke. These are all great jokes. Yeah, that's great.

She didn't say these? No. She cut these and then she went on Howard the morning after and she said here – I think she does that with Howard a lot. She talks about what she does not say in the roast. And the Baldwin one, I understand why she cut, but that would have been the best because the whole room would have been silent. Oh, you know what the other one I liked is

Everyone Enjoy It Tonight. This will be the last time we're in a room together. This will be the last time you're all in a room together until Diddy's Trial. That's a good one too. Oh, and then she said the baby oil, but we're going to go to... And what's the Italian actor's name?

She had that thing where she was like, and it's all going to's name she had that thing where she was like and where it's all going to be olive oil oh yeah Stanley Kitchy yes

I thought that was great she killed it she murdered it when someone just says Italian I think of an Italian person when you say something

derogatory I think Italian American so when you said Italian actor's name I was like I don't know oh Stanley Kitchy we hate Italians I don't know. Oh, Stanley Tucci?

We hate Italians. I can't think of a more, like I was saying, like she, after the roast and then this, I feel like she just has like blank check territory where like it's, there's levels to making it. Nikki Glaser's been successful for a long time now, but like it's now a whole new level. As a comic, I'd imagine that's like the pinnacle right i i i think so i mean she's you know it's weird that like the industry all of a sudden thinks it's discovered her yeah that's

that's how go like you know when i was watching reading these articles i was like like learn who nikki glazer is i'm like you gotta be literally under a fucking rock to not know like anything at this point yeah it's literally like the fucking Columbus discovering America. We knew. We were here. But it's also – yeah. It would almost be though if Columbus came over – well, I was going to say it. And there was like a thriving people.

Yeah. You're right. You nailed it. You nailed it. Look what we found. I've known about this for a long time. Yeah. I think what's good about this moment for her is that she's poised to not falter in this new spotlight.

Oh, she's made for this. There's a lot of people who do blow up astronomically overnight. And then as the lights shine brighter, people are like, oh wait, they're not what I thought they were. They're not that good. Nikki is going to just take this in stride. Be like, yeah, I've been ready to fucking...

Where were you guys? I think the mere fact that how much she crushed it has already proved positive. Yeah, she's not going to... And she said it beforehand. She was like, I'm going to nail this. This is not going to faze her at all. That all of a sudden, everyone knows who she is. And she said it beforehand. She was like, I'm going to nail this. This is not going to faze her at all.

That all of a sudden everyone knows who she is. That's the good side. I mean, I'm sure when you're grinding for however many years, especially as a chick, early on chicks like her and Whitney, when there was really no respect yet, all that shit, it probably sucked. And if you asked her, would you rather have an overnight astronomical explosion? Probably be like, yeah, I'll i'll take that but when you do it this way it's like you're ready to go now exactly you know you got your i also like that she's like she's grateful and she makes trying hard cool like she'll admit like i worked on this for years and years and years and or not years and years and years months and months months and like it pays off rather than just being like i don't know like i knew i could do it yeah i'm

just so naturally talented it's like no it takes it takes work um how how uh i feel like boy dad is is uh actually first let's talk about survivor sure you weren't surviving um you so you really walked in on minzy jerking off yeah that was real yeah because i heard that and then i was like i think that was like a francis joke or something no he was fucking cracking stick okay so this is what i saw so i what i didn't say you're welcome career wanted to hear about this yeah i that we had we had a shared bathroom his and hers right and i had an entrance and he had an entrance and it was down. You could look through one entrance straight to his bed. And my door to the bathroom was closed. So I thought he might be in there.

I had to go pee. I knock on the door. I don't hear anything. So I open my door. His door to the bathroom was wide open. And then he was on the bed. And what I saw was... His door to the bathroom was wide open, and then he was on the bed. And what I saw was I saw that his laptop was open, and then he was naked, and he very hurriedly ripped the covers up to cover himself.

Okay, that guy was jerking off, yeah. So I went, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And I then, to give him privacy, I closed his door, which, you know, why is that open? Like, there's so many whys. Yeah. Like, why are you doing it at all? And if you're going to do it, why are you doing it, like, at, like, what time is it? It's two in the afternoon. Yeah, like, middle of the day. That's crazy.

And then if you're going to do it, close all the doors to the room and probably lock them. Giving yourself a little afternoon delight in a house with the rest of the boys. What else were you guys doing though, right? 2 p.m. We've been in here for 36 hours doing nothing. Let me ask you this. You were in the bathroom. Yeah, then I closed his door and started peeing and he was like, that's okay.

Because I was apologizing through the door and then he turned on Pardon My Take. Which, again, I'm pretty confident he slammed his laptop shut, which would mean that he then reopened the laptop and then put in Listen to Pardon My Take to retroactively convince me that that's... What was going on. what was going on.

I was naked listening to Dan and BFT. Dan and BFT are always like, huh, huh, huh. They're always making noises like that. For what it's worth, I guarantee you that he is not the first employee to jerk off to Pardon My Take.

There are definitely some weirdos here. Meek Mill comes to mind, Meek Phil, whatever, who have probably done that. But that said, I did – The fastest two minutes. I spoke to Mincy about it. And he was like, I was getting ready to shower. That's not what happened. He may be right.

The way it presented, I was like like this is exactly what's happened you're an adult man laying in bed naked there's one of two reasons there was no woman in the room so it seems like it was the other reason yeah yeah but like so you're saying one of the questions i was gonna ask you is being in the bathroom was it a room that was just showered in because then that would explain the nakedness because if you're getting naked he said he was getting ready to shower and then decided to lay back down theoretically in bed with his laptop just uh you get you know off track and maybe yeah i don't know i'm trying to throw him a bone but i i was again this is just for my for my personal uh library of images.

Last episode, we were talking about if you walk in on it from head on, that you might not even see his face or his dick because of his belly. He had a whole vision. But again, to paint the picture for myself, whether or not he got naked for that act matters. If you're just like, time to jerk off, I got to get all my clothes off. Yes. Okay. That's a different thing.

If you're going to shower or after the shower. Particularly when you're jerking off in the house with a bunch of guys, that's a hit and run. That's a business transaction. You're not making love to yourself. That's like going to the bathroom. We're in, we're out. You're clearing the pipes. You're taking off the clothes taking off the clothes like i can only masturbate one way and that's totally naked

that makes a lot of fun at 2 p.m lunchtime dude so you know sure i can give mincy the benefit of the doubt i think the by virtue of the fact that he did leave his door open that to me feels maybe that he was showering or whatever except it's mincey there you go that's the thing nothing if it was like me you normal person it'd be like oh you would never do that but like normal rules it's like i don't know maybe mincey just i didn't look at the door fellas yeah like it just that's entirely on the table i was overcome with with horniness, boys. Yeah. Yeah. So you were in the house.

When did you get voted out? I think I was 13th or 14th. I was like the third or third member of the jury. So it was Clemmer, then Witt, and then me. That's a squad. So I was the third person. Fourth. Oh, excuse me, yeah. Mincy, Clemmer, W Wit, me, then Roan.

And so then it started getting really fun. Yeah, because then you have your own team. That should have been its own reality show, to be honest. I know. We should have filmed that separately. It's so much fun in the house. Because we were like, not me so much. I don't feel like I have the power to do this.

But some of the bigger contributors to the company were just like like i'm fucking punishing barstool for getting me out company card we're getting you know ordering like sushi and fucking ice cream just you know i'm gonna get my 250,000 right yeah budget for this show We're still part of it. You know, this is sponsored up the moon. So, you know, we were just having a ball. And we also, like, we were able to watch the eliminations. So every time someone would get eliminated, we would want people that we were rooting for to stay in the game.

But then when we also had people we wanted in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then it was like, who do we want next? Like, oh, we would love for Will. And like Will gets voted out. We're like, yeah. And every time someone would come through the door, we would like clap and cheer and embrace them.

Welcome, welcome. It's like, you know, welcoming your boys to heaven when they've died. Parties here. Welcome, well, it's like welcoming your boys to heaven when they've died. What's crazy is none of the girls, right? That house is just guys. I remember thinking, I mean, I wanted no part. And seeing it now, it seems pretty normal. But I was like, I would not want any part of playing this with the girls.

Because I don't want to be on, I don't want to devote them. I don't want to backstab. But it seems to be pretty normal but the fact that they all lasted as far as they have before all you guys yeah patriarchy see you later no I know um wait why didn't some of the first guys like Arian White Sox Dave why weren't they in because the first eight people that were voted out were not part of the jury the jury jury is only – It's usually like only that many people. I think having a huge jury – I think it would be like you could get so many votes per – And also it's like –

You have like a five-way tie with that many people voting. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You needed to be farther in the game, I think, to sort of like earn the right to have a say. We at all you know at that point whatever some of the finalists it's likely that one of the finalists will have had a hand in fucking you over or like trying to protect you which might influence your vote whereas like the first five or ten people out it doesn't it was just kind of like today's's episode of KFC Radio is brought to you by Game Time.

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I – People don't know. When Francis got voted out, like, minutes later. Dude, this is how it went. So this is how it went. My contract expired on September 15th. I had been asking Dave for some weeks. You don't say.

Gently, like, look, you know, I'm not asking for a raise or anything. I just want to keep working here. Like, I hope that's okay. Can I keep coming to my job? Yeah. And he had asked me to do Surviving, which was taping in the first week of October. So I was like, I feel like I still work here. You're asking me to commit to a pretty gigantic project once my contract is expired.

But nothing came before the show. So I went into the show floating in the wind. Wow. Just an at-will employee with no real job security. And I think that I'm in a special place special place too where job security is something i take more seriously than a lot i've been fired i'm one of the few people who've been fired and you know it's really important to me to have job security um so i went into the game and was just like okay yeah i have no job security i don't even'm going to give the boss an idol. Yeah.

I'm just like floating here. And more importantly, I was like, I don't want to, I don't really want to cross Dave. So that was really in your mind while you're playing? A hundred percent. Yeah, it is. I mean, it is like, it just is naturally, it is a thing. But with that said, I'm, I'm, I'm a bit of a mischief maker. Yeah. I tend to want to make things happen.

Yeah. And what they didn't show when I pitched to Roan that we should vote for Dave was that, because we were like, he was like, let's just go along. They're telling us to vote for a movie. Let's do it. And I was like, I'm kind of bored. I was like, I kind of want something to do something. Like, shouldn't we do something?

Well, I mean, the way the game is played out, I was saying this to the gang earlier, like, it's only twice now, but it feels like more. It's like, vote that dude out first every time. I don't want to hear that he's rich and no one's going gonna vote for him in the end and all that shit he has too much power there's too many weird dynamics he's too like good at this shit and can oh he has too many people's back just vote him out first and none

of this matters anymore yeah i mean everything is so obvious in hindsight uh but to that point in the first season he did he got voted out pretty early he did but not even for my like i mean it it should be like everyone is just like we'll vote this guy out and then the chips fall where they may it's it's like letting you know it's like it's like letting lebron play it's just like no just get him out and then we can deal with it you know what i mean just but it's it's also one of those things where our team was pretty much coalescing around him. And you wanted to be in the in and not part of the out. It's easy to say.

Because I remember in my season, we were in different tribes. So I probably would have pushed for it if I could have in the right time. But I also, if it was like, you'll be on the outs if you say that, I get it. It's much easier to say. Fomenting a coup is terrifying yeah and that's what you better get it right it's what it would have been because you know it's like you know you're whispering to people that you don't know that well and being like should we take the boss and the likelihood that one of them will go to Dave and be like, these people are talking about taking you out is, I think,

higher with someone like Dave than, you know, someone else. It's more likely that they will try to curry favor with Dave by letting him know people are talking about turning on him than someone else. So you don't end up, you're like, let's just play it safe. Well, John had a tweet about Rico because you giving your idol was at least a play well i also had i also had tried to get dave out i had pitched the idea that we should vote him out but also you giving it was like a i don't it was it wouldn't have worked and i knew i was cooked right so it was a hail mary play

yeah but did ron come up with it first or you? You know how you guys had talked about like, let's get Dave out. I said to Roan, we should do it. And he was like, cool, let's do it. And then he told me we need to turn Mubi. Yeah. And he told me, don't tell Rhea. And I did not take that to heart. You should have listened to that one.

I thought we needed like four for some reason and i thought i needed to go try to convince ria and he was by the way though i don't think you're convincing movie because of all the aforementioned stuff of course so we we weren't going to convince either of them yeah and so we were both fucked no matter what there was no way out the only way that roan or i survived past where we got out is if we had gone back earlier in the game yeah talk to wit yeah we might have even if you went to those guys and also fuck dave let's go i think you could have got something done yeah you need to you needed to sniff it out so early it would have needed to be probably go back to like clemmer yeah maybe white socks dave maybe even arian you go back to the beginning of the game i don't know how far because because clemmer if i told clemmer like dude this is what's gonna happen we're all

and we need to get dave out clemmer thought he was part of dave's that was so funny so he would have gone to dave and told him and then we would have been fucked right right so you know that's how dangerous it was but john tweeted about rico like i i don't think rico realizes he's not actually in the mafia which is true but a lot of times but also it's this weird little blog mafia like it's not the mafia you don't have to but everybody like if if you went to dave and said like like you can vote out dave it happens dave is you can yell at dave you can talk shit about him that's why he's always like i don't know like they they bend the knee to me but i don't like tell them they have to yeah i just behave in a way that everybody does but so it's like he's not if the game is not rigged but

the game is rigged because they're all pussies but not not because Dave is telling you you have to. Someone said, you know, this is why Dave shouldn't be in the game. And I'm like, this is exactly why Dave should be in the game. It makes it interesting, yeah. It sucks for the people in it, but for the viewers. He had one of my favorite lines in the show, and I forget exactly what episode it was because I missed a few. But he was walking upstairs, and he was kind of talking about how he's mad he's still playing, and he says something like, I got to get so-and-so out.

He just goes, so I can get these people to give me back my money at the end of this. That's funny. You don't get that dynamic without the boss the camera was just behind him and he was like you could see from his place it's the only way i can get these people to give me back my money it is such a strange dynamic to be in that game with dave and especially to be on his team yeah because my relationship with dave is one for me of like respect, fear, and trying to limit my correspondence with him as much as possible. I just don't, I'm not, I don't work with him. I don't have content with

Dave. So I don't want to rock the boat. 90% of the interactions I've had with Dave have been because there is a catastrophe. Like, I routinely delete my texts with Dave because when I have to text him, I don't want to see that the last text was like, we need to talk. Are you sitting down? I'm not even making any of this up. I've never had like a happy birthday, Francis. And you never will.

Hey, are you available for this on this day? It's like, we need to talk. Call me immediately. Do not pass go. Dave's refusal to say happy birthday is one of his more perplexing things. It's one thing. I'm not a big birthday guy. I'm not randomly texting people guy. I don't like,

you know, I'm not randomly texting people happy birthday and shit like that. But if I'm in a room with someone and someone goes, hey, do you know it's his birthday? I go,

oh shit, happy birthday, man. He won't do it. He won't do it. It's like, it's like he doesn't believe in it. It's like,

to his core, he's against birthday things. Which actually tracks, like that checks out. Like, like, like I could just see him being like you don't deserve anything for living you know what i mean like he's literally based on like

meritocracy it's just conversation man normal bro that's so funny dude so i think there's there's three love there's three levels to dave the best thing you can have Is to be Like And there's very few people But like Anybody who he Aligns with Usually thinks that like He's invested

I found them Or I You know Alex Cooper's Or even like the movie Where it's like I'm I like you I'm connected to you

Then there is Stay Off the radar And then at Five million notches lower Is like rico where it's like i'm involved with him every day but he doesn't respect me or like me and wants to make me the fool for content yes like and so if you can't be the top one just be the middle one where it's like we don't even talk yeah yeah and then there's and then i guess so you're probably in between rico

and that where it's like i have to talk to him because there's bad luck all the time for me. You just have the worst fucking luck. I mean, having to tell him, hey, just so you know, me trashing Fox News just leaked on a hot mic. Great one. I don't know what to say. That was a great moment I forgot about. Pretty tight with them over there.

Did you talk to him about that? Yeah, I had to tell him. But that was one where I was like... That was also not your fault. This one, well, it kind of is. No, but that's... Don't have that conversation when there's a microphone on your body.

Sure, sure, sure. No matter what. Sure. I need to know better. But at the same time, you know, whatever. So those types of things. But what I was going to say is that to then be in this weird kind of curated environment

where there's a very specific goal and there's rules and we're sleeping in barracks together. You know, we all moved our mattresses. But like you're waking up, you're brushing your teeth. You're kind of like you're not talking about the job. Yeah. You know? You're not even thinking about it. It's all just this.

It's strategy. And having like peer-to-peer conversations with Dave Portnoy about like next I think we should do this. This person is saying this. Yeah, that's right. And you realize – well, it's just like a very surreal removal of a pecking order, but it still does exist in your mind. It's a little bit removed, but it's still there. But it's one of those things where I've never had such offhand conversations with Dave in my life. Everything up to that point has been very formal, very concise, and very limited and careful and even after the game when they were airing the show

there was this moment where uh i told big cat that i had the idol and then i told dave and they didn't show the longer conversation and i wrote a long blog about why i did that because it looks really stupid the way that they edited it but the way the reason i told both of them was because someone went through my bag and then the next morning big cat was like i know you have an idol and he claims he was just telling doing it to sort of guess you out smoke me out but he didn't do it to anyone else in the game and i was the only person in the game at that point who had an idol do you think he did it or i don't think he went through it i don't i still don't know i don't really know what happened but I'm certain someone went through my bag because the things were all in different places

and my toilet kit was open, which is where the idol was. That's crazy. That happened during our season. People are allowed to do that, apparently, by the way. Poison went through my bag. That's crazy. Because I remember I went to rob afterwards

because same type deal as you. It was my bag. I had personal shit in it. And I just went to rob and I was like, yo, they like held this in front of the camera could you just like cut that like it's a medication that it's like i don't know what they did but and he was like yeah of course of course um but i remember i think that would be off limits but i i think it was rico so i think it was rico and your it could well It could well have been. Yeah, yeah. Rob, would you mind cutting the fact that I perched my idol around this 17-inch dildo?

It's just personal to me. Do you now realize how crazy it was to think that that idol was disappearing when you gave it to Dave? Well, let me get to that. Because just to finish this thought, because I want to talk about that. Yeah.

When I wrote that blog, being like, look, there was more to why I told them this. And Dave said as much. He was like, I don't know why. Dave texted me and was like, I read your blog. I had the exact same thought. I don't know why they cut that. That seemed important to me. And I was like, this is the best interaction I've ever had.

I'm like, okay, do i need to call you right now like what and then he sent me like nine texts and we were going back and forth just talking about the game and i was like this is more messages than you have sent to me or we have sent to each other in the seven years that i've known you yeah i've been doing a little bit of that. I've been sending you messages like, boy, Rico's dumb. And you just get a couple in with the boss. Because it's like you've got to pick your spots where you know, you know what I mean? You could also be like, hey, great bet, Dave.

The things that you know he'll respond to and like whatever. I honestly think that's my last text to Dave. The Caitlin Clark bet. I was like, this is the most genius bet of all time. And I genuinely meant it. I thought for sure they were going to win it all. I was like, was like this is the most genius bet of all time and i genuinely meant it i i thought for sure they were gonna win it all so you're gonna win a million dollars congratulations right but yeah you're right it's like when when uh but what's funny is like i don't think he i think he knows he's the boss and he knows that there's like a weird power dynamic

because he does things that like he used to not come to like the christmas party and stuff like that because he's like i know i'm the boss and i know people don't want me around so he does acknowledge it but also for the most part he's like yeah i mean i'll i'll text francis about survivor what are you talking about yeah like it's not like he's like i don't talk to them because i'm the boss and they're the underlings he's just like i'll talk to you when i talk to you if i like you like yeah no i don't so it's all it's just he's you know naturally like a uh imposing and intimidating guy, but he's not trying to do that. No, I know. Look, Dave has, for me,

and I think this is true for a lot of people who work here, he's a figure of, as I said, respect, gratitude, and fear. That's like the three-pronged feelings that I have for him. Which is a mixture for the exact opposite of what you're supposed to be doing when you're competing. Yeah, but it's also like, it's a leadership style that I think has worked forever. Like I just, Steve Jobs was the same way.

Elon Musk is the same way. Like, you know, a lot of the people that work for them are like, yeah, I was afraid of them to a degree, but they also pushed me to achieve things that I didn't think I could. And I revere my leader. And that's definitely true for me and Dave now. I think the first time I worked here, I wasn't quite so tuned into that and people sensed it and it made me dispensable.

But now, you know. So my point being that familiarity and the fact that he is able to, he's so invested personally in the game and cares so much about it and cares so much about the show and loves it to such a degree that it does kind of bring him down

into the fray a little bit. Yeah, the garrison a little bit and make him just another soldier in that mix. It's literally like in Squid Games when the billionaire at the end reveals that he had just put himself in the game yeah just to like feel something you know yeah as much as i i would have loved to see obviously myself or fidelberg when last year a couple people on the cast this year that i would have loved to have seen this to to go on to win this one but i wanted jackie to win her season so bad. Were you season one? Two.

Two. It was not what it is now, but I was watching that like it was Shay out there. When you fell off that post, the stump, she stood for literally one more second, right? Wasn't it like boom, boom? Or no, they told you you couldn't put your foot on the side or something like that, right? Oh, yeah. You got fucked on that one and I remember being like

no you were so close to winning that you would come into the studio and I would be like I don't know what is wrong with this woman you were a bastard

you would just be like rambling words when I was 22 I was movies 8 that is true you were throwing the fire and someone says and I was like

what is this chick talking about what was that cast? You, Grace, Nick, Bree, Dave. No, me, Grace, Rudy. Rudy. Dave. No, no, not Dave. Che.

Che, Eddie. Oh, so Nick and Bree were the first one, right? Yeah. That was season one. Yeah. Right, right, right. What a great fucking. It's been a great show.

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You watch Survivor? Yeah. So I don't. I think it's that simple. No, I shouldn't say that because I'm not some super fan. I don't think it matters. I have never watched a minute of Survivor.

But I think it's logical to think if you give the idol to someone, it becomes their idol. Because then, if I gave it to you in round one. It's one of those things I get now. But in that moment. That's just a thing, even if you've never played anything. You're applying fine print Survivor rule. No, I don't think that's what I'm saying.

I think if something is in play in a game, and I I give it to somebody and then I'm out of the game, they still have, they get that thing. Cause what would happen if I gave it to you hours earlier? Let me, let me play this. Then let me play. This is where,

this is where it gets complicated. There's two, there's two pieces that I think poke holes in what you just said. The first is I say, I ask Jeff for a rule of clarification. And I say, uh, I say, I ask Jeff for a rule of clarification. And I say, I say like, he knows what I've said,

which is I'm going to give this to Dave. But if I get voted out of the game, it's dead. Right? That's the whole scenario. Yeah. And then Dave's like, he answers your question literally.

To the point where Dave gets up and doesn't take it. Yeah. Because he thinks, well, what's the point where dave gets up and and doesn't take it yeah because he thinks well what's the point but i think he thought that you just weren't gonna do it because when he turns back around he's like are you gonna give it to me i'll take it maybe no because then because then i was like oh he's not gonna take it right but i think that was more because when you said that i think that's when he was like oh i mean i will if you'll do it but i i think he thought maybe who can say but i i i just but then then i say to jeff just to clarify like if i give this if i give this to dave and i get voted out of the game it dies with me if i get voted out of the game it dies and jeff goes yes if you get voted out of the game it dies

with you correct i know but i think and it's like but you didn't say the thing you said if i get voted out this dies right and say like with the context of everything i know but that's not his job you know what i mean like then giving like answering questions beyond what is asked based on context i think it's like i don't know what to tell you other than the entire internet agreed with me except for fucking nerds well but if you take no i think a normal human discourse interpretation of that situation i don't think so though because i think the people that agreed with you hate jeff d low which i think is crazy by the way i don't agree people hate jeff for for the dozen and stuff and they hate and they don't like they don't want dave it's like dave haters and jeff haters i think a lot of that i don't know i don't want Dave. It's like Dave haters and Jeff haters. I think a lot of that was – I don't know if that's the whole reason why people –

I don't think it's the whole reason. Or like took it my way too. Because a lot of that was like Jeff did a bad job. Jeff did a bad job. But then, okay, so we are applying by the book survivor rule, Jeff's wording precisely to that exact second. That's the rule. That's why that's right. According to survivor rules,

I'm not allowed to give an idol to anyone once votes have been cast. That was a whole different story. So we are applying survivor rules in one second and then in the next, completely disregarding them. Although somebody was saying that if it was a re-vote that is allowed.

Yeah, that's a legitimate piece. So it's like, okay, in one case we said, yep, and then five seconds later we were like no rules yeah and that's because it was dave i guarantee you that if i had properly understood jeff and i had said okay i know i'm about to be cooked roan's my boy roan here's my idol to use whenever you want everybody sitting on those stumps would have been like, absolutely fucking not. There's no chance that's allowed. 100%.

So it's like, what's the difference? And that's where it sucks for a contestant, competitor, and for a viewer, it's like, this is going to be crazy. Ultimately, I'm happy with how it went because, one, it created a spark moment. Two, it created discussion and discourse. And most people were on your side, like you said. Either way, like when I had the moment with Kirk in the golf, like half the world was on my side and half was on yours.

You find a way, bro. You always find – I think it was a Boy Dad clip, right? Yeah. You just find a way into your – like you're causing controversy. It's good though. Yeah. I like it. Of course.

It's fucking great. I like to find – I mean it's great for business. It's hard. I don't know when they're going to happen. Yeah. But to find that very middle line where people are going to marshal on either side and have it out. Well, that's where – so we were just talking to Marty before about – last week we're talking about overexposure on the internet and and that can very much happen but you also if you go out there

every day because you don't know what's gonna happen but it's like maybe it's today maybe i'm gonna you know have a incident at the grocery store and i'm gonna go viral and yeah but if you're like i don't want to go out you know i don't put too much out there you're never gonna have those moments correct you do a good you – you got to keep swinging. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And then when you just go like, I'm going to block people on the shoulder, I think you know. You know what I mean? Like that's an active –

I mean, that's another one where I shot that and did not – didn't even think I was going to post it. I thought maybe I would post it as a story. And then I was like, you know, I haven't posted in a while. Let's just fucking – who cares? Let's just throw it up. And you as a story. Right. And then I was like, you know, I haven't posted in a while. Let's just fucking, who cares? Let's just throw it up. And I would never have imagined in a million years that,

first of all, there would be so many people that would be angry about it. Yeah, when you think like, everyone's going to agree with me on this one. Yeah. Or,

yeah, like I would expect that there would be a lot of people who would laugh, but also be like, it does annoy me that people do that. I don people who would laugh, but also be like, it does annoy me that people do that. I don't want to stop them myself. But like, you know.

Yeah. I didn't think it would be so many people being like, mind your fucking business. I don't know where either of the sides get so passionate about it. I like never run into this. You don't ever sit in traffic and see people whizzing by on the shoulder? I mean, it's part of the fact that I live in Manhattan. Yeah, you're not sure. But in all of my years when I did drive often, it was a very, very, very rare thing.

Well, it depends on where you live. If I've ever noticed it. It is a funny thing. I think this about all traffic laws are very funny. I always think it's hilarious. If it's late at night, no one's on the road. Literally, you can't see any cars. You will stop because this thing is lit up red.

That's just a very funny thing that's like I'm just going to fucking go. But no, I'm going to wait here for like 45 seconds because like there's rules, you know. It is kind of crazy where it's just like I could get home quicker, but there's this fucking thing painted on the ground, and so I'm not allowed to. Dude, there's also signs all along that shoulder that say, do not drive on the shoulder. There's signs everywhere. But it's like everyone, for the most part, buys into traffic laws,

and if they didn't, it would be absolute fucking chaos. And that's why it should be that way. But it is funny that there's not more. I guess there's a decent amount of people but i would i could see more people like i don't fucking care there's solid line painted on the ground i'm going yeah well the other thing the other part i don't get is when people say why why does it affect you it obviously affects me every single one of those cars there's no exit ramp that they're racing up to to turn off the highway. They have to merge back in. So every car that goes by adds one minute, two minutes to my commute home.

You see 30 cars go by, you're like, there's 45 more minutes that I have to sit and drive. You see that many? That's crazy. Bro, if you don't do what I do, because as soon as one person breaks the seal, they're like, fuck it. I wasn't the first person to break the rule. And it's a flood. It's a flood. Now, if there is an exit ramp.

There isn't. What I'm saying. What do you think about that? I think you can leave a little early. I don't have a problem with that. Yeah. I don't have a problem with that. If you're not coming back in.

The problem with that is that people will pretend that they're going to take the exit. And then they're like, oh, shoot. I didn't realize that i'm not actually going that way back into this lane and then they clog all the people who actually are trying to use the exit to go off and they're trying to merge in at the at the top now i'm an expert merger i i would put forth that i'm one of the best mergers in the world and give me a little more context well like in cut i cut the line okay okay that so let's let's just start there if there is like an exit only and the line is like a hundred cars deep i'm cutting the line i cut it but i cut it smartly i always find a spot and i

think i find a spot that i actually don't think impacts people. I see what you're saying. There's some Jimbo who always just kind of sits there on his phone or whatever for an extra second. There's an extra car length. No, it's look for a big truck. Truck. Truck. It takes longer to get slower. I'll jet it in front of him. Totally.

I don't have a problem with this either. I don't have a problem with that. When I see people who are just like, I got to get off this exit in like a mile and a half, but this is the lane. Like, come on. That's crazy. No, I, I, I like choose it. I don't go to the front, but like, I'll go up a bit and I'll be like,

I'll find a truck and I'm like, that guy's going to go slow. And I'll slow down. But there are, sorry, Jackie, go ahead. No, no, no. We've got to let the woman talk. No, sorry. I just,

I always noticed that I saw it happen more often in Northern California than Southern California. And I always wondered if it was it happen more often in Northern California than Southern California. And I always wondered if it was because people believe in karma more in Southern California. And I wondered if that has to do with more traffic in LA. I don't know Northern California versus Southern California. But I would think in more... Francis might be able to call me on this right away. I would think in heavily trafficked areas, people are more like understanding of this is how society works.

Whereas I would think in less trafficked areas, people are going, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want. You know where this does not happen at all? Texas. Really? Okay. So that kind of goes – I'm wrong. Nobody fucks around in Texas. Really? Okay, so that kind of goes, I'm wrong. Then nobody fucks around in Texas. Nobody in Dallas.

Well, you might get shot. People obey. They obey the unwritten rules. I love it. I love it. They are fucking. I just pictured Francis driving around being like, this is amazing. It's law and order.

And it may very well be that everyone knows that everybody has a gun in their glove compartment. And if you do something fucking wrong on the road, there's a vigilante policing. I don't know what it is, but they do not tolerate it. Where did your big incident happen? New York. Where, though? Coming into the tunnel. From?

From New Jersey. From New Jersey. Okay. What is it? The Holland Tunnel? The Holland. Yeah. Okay. Coming into the Holland Tunnel. That's always where it is. Oh, yeah. the tunnel from from new jersey new jersey okay what's the what is the hollow tunnel the holland yeah okay coming into the holland tunnel that's always where it is oh yeah because the there's a bend that goes down the ramp and then there's a traffic light all that gets backed up gets backed way up and that that shoulder is inviting it's wide it almost looks like a lane yeah but it is

the shoulder and there are hundreds of signs that say, do not drive on the shoulder. It's one of those things like you need the shoulder for an accident, but it's like, I don't want an accident, so I'm just going to take this lane. If you do it, you're a scumbag. I have a strong belief in doing that and that people who use the shoulder to cut are wrong, and then anyone who has an issue with me stopping them is a shoulder cutter themselves.

And if they try to invoke, you need to keep this clear for emergency vehicles, they are fucking full of shit. That's a smokescreen self-justification for your poor behavior not to abide by that. That's some straw man shit or whatever. It's bullshit. It's complete bullshit.

It's like if I saw, you know, and people are like, well, what if I was rushing my pregnant wife to the hospital? It's like, if that was happening, we'd probably figure it out and I'll let you go. But you're not a fucking ambulance. That's not happening. You're just a dickhead. I'm blocking you.

I can't tell you how many fucking DMs and comments I got that were like, you know, just last week, my nephew who has a cashew allergy, I was rushing him to the hospital and someone tried to do this and my nephew's dead. It's like, no, he's not. No, he's not. I would notice the other person in the car screaming. Yeah, that's what you get out. If someone, if I'm an uncle with an asphyxiating nephew in the back of my car and I see some guy up ahead in a Tesla filming himself, I get out of the car and I'm like, hey, dude, you're about to kill my nephew. And I'm like, sorry about that.

Get out of your way, sir. It's not what it is. I mean, it was a big race war, right? Yeah. Yes. It was. Did black people use the lane? They were angry with me.

Let's say that. And they were saying things like, this guy is the Karen who reminded the teacher to assign homework. And it's like, well, I didn't tell my teacher to remind the students about homework. I would write down that we had homework and let all the other kids forget to do it, which made me look better. Why would I ever have wanted them to be in line? That's how I rose to the top of the class. It's a new year. It's time to get in shape.

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plus a free gift for new customers. You said job security is a big deal. I feel like I heard recently that Dave gave you the made man, right? Yeah, I'm the named, yeah. Which was the first I'd heard. So that was an interesting moment because um you know to go back to the the question you had about getting the new contract when i got voted off i hand dave the idol you know i'd been asking for it and then oh wait you never answer that question right so so you got to go back to um when i was getting divorced in june and i i Dave, as I do, just life crisis moment. I got to talk to my boss. Text him, Dave, hey, do you have a second?

You should delete his number, don't you? I need to call you. And he calls me, and he's like, what's up? And I'm like, I always know to be very quick, get right into it. And I'm like, all right, here's what's happening. Unfortunately, my wife and I are getting divorced. always know to be very quick, get right into it. And I'm like, all right, here's what's happening. Unfortunately, my wife and I are getting divorced. I have to move out.

And I don't know. I have like, whatever, two and a half, three months left on my contract. And I was like, I don't know if, you know, you want me to remain here. But I have to sign a new lease. I don't know if you're not going to keep me working here it makes me wonder if i should remain in new york city right uh whether where to live whether much all these things and like i i know it's way ahead of the time that this would typically happen but i unfortunately need some clarity in my life because there's big life decisions happening and he was amazing he was

like oh wow first of all you know i'm really sorry to hear that um but yeah we totally expect you know to keep you on you're doing well like no no issues at all the only thing that would change that would be if you asked for some crazy raise or something and then immediately i was like i don't i don't need a raise at all like i'll just want to yeah just keep staying here uh and he was like then yeah we should be totally good so that was the phrasing on on mate on unnamed was job yeah so that was that was that was how that conversation went which made me feel really good and was really important at that moment made me feel good i was like francis is good for life i think i'm good for life yeah i just thought yeah so so then uh you know then like september rolls around and i don't have anything

and i went into he came in one day and i just knocked on his door and i was like hey just want to check in about contract. Like, do you need to see or hear what I do? Like, do you want me to present my statistics and kind of assignments and things? And he was like, nope, all good. And I'm like, okay, all good. And that didn't give me much. So I felt confident I was going to get renewed, but like... It wasn't happening. Not that confident.

Right. And then I went into the game. I got voted out. Keep in mind, I've been asking for this now for like months. I get voted. I hand Dave the idol. I walk off the set.

They give me back my phone. I go into my email. This is crazy. Refresh my email, and the first email at the top of my inbox is my brand new contract. I mean, come on. Come on. Is it from Dave or is it from HR?

No, no. It's from HR. It's from Dave. That's amazing, dude. It's a fucking hysterical coincidence if that's what it is uh i love the idea that dave just had someone on text and been like send it yeah but you know i don't really care how it got there i was just happy to have the new contract and um and then dave on unnamed sort of they they addressed this and he said that look you know i didn't tell anyone this

but back in june francis called me we had the conversation about his divorce and i told him you know you've got a contract he was smirking though he was doing his dave he goes no no no dave's doing that it's great it'sstool thing. It's just like one of those what really was going on things. You never know. Just hysterical, but very happy to have another two years here. Well, I think between Boy Dad and then, I mean, I feel like when golf season comes around, I never thought about it in that regard of when the weather turns,

your job and their jobs change. I mean, they go all year round, but it's like – They're not beholden to the weather. Did that video of Frankie's flights, did you see that? That was crazy. You guys cannot even imagine how much they travel. It is preposterous. I don't think I love anything enough to do – I'd be like, I don't know how to get on that plane.

I honestly want to text Riggs and be like, how do you still like this? Riggs hit 100 flights last year. Or maybe it was two years ago. I think Frankie had like 84, which I thought was a lot. I had 64, which I thought was a ton. That's more than two a week. Do you guys just have monster

points or does that not go through? Oh yeah, I hit diamond in May. Yeah. I hit the highest status in May. You know, you think, like, cool, and then you're like. You get, like, one ticket to, like, San Antonio, and you're done. Yeah. Four global upgrade certificates and unlimited access to the Sky Lounge.

I'm an anti-lounge guy. $700 statement credit on my Delta MX reserve card I chose my choice benefits once you achieve platinum you get one and then if you get diamond you get three on top of that so

now there is a hidden tier above that Delta 360 which some people argue doesn't even exist I have seen it and someone once offered me their own bag tags

from the previous year and I was like I don't want to have stolen valor here but they say that if you have delta 360 tags on your bag that someone comes with white gloves and takes it off the plane itself and brings it to you in a chariot but have you ever heard that story that uh jerry seinfeld invented the black card i did hear that yeah he i guess not invented it but he he was like talking to someone at american

express and they said have you heard of the black card and like the next day he called the head of american express and was like what's this black card i want it and he was like it's just a rumor this is not a real thing and he was like i want a fucking black card and they gave it to him and i think he's the first one to have it and then it became a good thing i heard the black card you have to pay off in full every month is that true i'd imagine a lot of people anyone who has a black card, isn't carrying a lot of debt. But that's also not the business of credit cards. So they don't want that, usually. They want you to carry it for a few months and then pay the interest or whatever.

Also, real quick, I paid off my credit card debt. Yay! That's what that bonus went right to. What? Fantastic. That bonus went right to it. That bonus went right to it. And that was it.

That was all of it. I was going to say, about $4,000. $10,000 is about $4,000. It was all of it. I was going to say about $4,000. $10,000 is about $4,000. That feels good. Hey, it's not sexy, but you know what? You'll feel better. I really wish I still had that money to buy clothes and shit. Well, just put it back on your credit card now.

I know, I know, I know. About a year from now, you get another $10,000. Keep it going forever. But yeah, so I just feel every every season that it gets warm you'll just be like more and more entrenched with foreplay which let me tell you is a good idea yeah listen i wish i golf every fucking day of my life i'm like i wish i golfed and gambled i love going with those guys it's so much fun uh they've been doing it so much longer. They built the whole thing. And I think one of the reasons that they enjoy having me is that when I'm with them, I remind them how awesome it is.

When we're at a dinner, I'm always like everyone's kind of tired looking at their phones. And I just raise a glass and I'm like, I just want to say, guys guys we're in Hawaii yeah eating a steak dinner that's free yeah and we have you know 36 holes of awesome golf from tomorrow that's free yeah like this is fucking sick they got they got a they boondoggled their way to yeah I mean the boondoggle I remember I remember that those fights they used to have I mean it's a boondoggle but then once you start making the company in the very beginning it's a boondoggle, but then once you start making the company. In the very beginning, it's a boondoggle. It's also work. Yeah, for sure. It is not like going on a golf trip with your boys.

No, no, no. A nine-hole scramble takes five and a half hours. You're getting smoked by the sun. It's exhausting. Sometimes when we do those drinking challenges, do you really want to be shotgunning a beer hole in the Dominicanican republic no yes it's not that fun because there are people screaming screaming from their desks right now fuck you sometimes it's fun it is fun it is overall very fun but it's also there's a difference between hard and not fun you know what i mean yeah it's not an easy thing to do what they

do but it is fun it is fun it's more fun than any job i've ever had or could have yeah as far as i can tell but to just say this is a bachelor party that they're perpetually on yeah misleading right but also let's even say that like if you told me like you go on a bachelor party every weekend i'd be like hell fucking no right i do that you know once a every couple years and i get my fill and i'm done you told me to do it the next weekend i'd be like no so i get that i understand that if you had to pick one boy dad or foreplay oh my god fucking sophie's choice let's go oh that's tough i mean there's a different answer for both i think that if you were to say like where where would i see the potential for for um me to ask dave for like a bigger raise or more financial security it's probably foreplay um but as far as like lifestyle and you know what i'm looking for right now and and the thing that i guess enables me to remain the comedian i am and and feed that

and find bits it's you know bantering with ronan sass and it's a great mix yeah i love it i love doing both i love that that whole thing with sass and the kettlebell was one of the craziest things i've ever seen when you were like it was very it was like mandelbaum in jerry seinfeld he's like i just want to go carry it to work and show you how easy this is. He is such an alien. The way that he convinces himself so obstinately about what he can or cannot do, what is physically capable by the laws of the universe, where he's completely wrong. You would have thought that kettlebell was 1,000 pounds.

Wait, what was it? He picked it up. No, Roan. Yeah, you do tell it. I don't remember. He got a Joe Rogan kettlebell was 1,000 pounds. Wait, what was it? He picked it up. No, Roan. Yeah, you do tell it. I don't remember. He got a Joe Rogan kettlebell. 55-pound kettlebell, and it was delivered to his building, which has been the target of frequent package theft.

Like, all the time. All the package just gets dropped. There's no doorman. It's just in the foyer of his thing. And people steal the packages all the time. That's some unwritten rule shit, too. If you do that, that happens a lot in New York. You are a fucking scumbag.

Yeah. That, I actually think it's worse if you do it in the suburbs around Christmas. Yeah. Because you're stealing some toy from a child. Or these fucking Amazon people who take a picture like they delivered it and then just take it. Dude, I had the opposite of that happen once where it's still weirdly one of my favorite things ever happened to me is when we had an advertisement this is probably five seven years ago with butcher box and and they just mailed it to me without ever telling me that i was getting

meat so i never i wasn't I wasn't checking the box. I wasn't checking the mail. I wasn't expecting mail. So every day I'd walk into the apartment and I'd walk by a pile of boxes, go to my apartment, and this went on for a week or so. And then one day I opened the door of my apartment

and there's like Martin Luther style slammed into the door. It just says, you have a box of rotting meat in the foyer. And I was like, oh. And I went downstairs and I could smell it. Every night when I came in, I could smell it. I knew there was rotting meat.

Whose meat is that? Who's leaving their meat out? I had to go and dispose of a box of legitimately rancid meat. It was literally straight out of a Sonny script. Like, Charlie would be like, I know it's rotting meat. Like, yeah, it's rotting meat. I could tell. Do you smell it?

Yeah, I smell it. I walk by it every fucking day. I just didn't think it was mine. You didn't do anything about it? No, it's not my meat. I didn't order a box of meat. Why would I think the stinking box of meat was mine? Box of meat.

That's great. But, yeah, so the kettlebell is there and yeah so it's in there it's in the foyer and sass just is like nothing can be done but he but he he brought it up to his apartment but he needs to bring it to work is the thing or yeah he needed to bring it to the office right but he so he brought it and carried it from his foyer up because he knew. No, excuse me. That's wrong. He was away. And so he asked Roan to go to his apartment and bring it from his foyer into his apartment,

which Roan did. Does he have an elevator? No, but he's on the second floor. So he just walked up. It's still a bit of an ask to be like, can you go to my apartment, pick up this 60-pound thing, and just put it in my door that's an ask so then uh sass we're like yo do you you know can you get that to the office and he's like yeah yeah and then he gets to his apartment lifts it and just decides like it's this can't be done this will be here forever and he had initially told us that he couldn't bring it

because he didn't think he could walk it to work and needed to bring it in an uber and then which is fair by the way i wouldn't totally 20 bucks right then he revealed that he had gotten there that day in an uber and had tried to lift it off of his like bench and realized that bringing it from his bench down to the uber was impossible and so then he walked out he walked out to his uber and then he worried that leaving it on his bench would leave an indent in the bench so he went back up the stairs and took it off the bench, put it on the floor, and then went back down to the Uber without it and got in the car. Does he know what 55 pounds is?

All of this, to move around as much and have the concern he did without thinking it was possible to bring it to the Uber. It was so baffling to me that we spent an entire podcast like if i was like i don't want to do this that's what he was like i mean that's always a part of it i can't get it in the car it's like yes you can if i was i yeah i don't want to lift 60 pounds up and down the stairs fine but to But to be like, he was like, no, but I can't get in the car. I was like, yeah, you can.

No, I love that he didn't go to college, really, and just entered this world, this circus of illogical, comedic thinking where he missed very formulative years of people being like, that's wrong and here's why. Right, right. Don't say that. Yeah, you like, that's wrong and here's why. Right, right. Don't say that. Yeah, you know, this is wrong and here's why. So he has the confidence of a successful,

tenured young professional without any of the education or humility. Yeah, yeah. And it leads to incredibly ingrained, strong opinions that are so wrong. And it's a wonderful. It usually works on the internet. It works on podcasts. It's so good for our podcast.

It's just so good. And Ron's such a yes man that he would let it flow, but then I joined the pod and I can't allow it because I have really strong opinions and I'm arrogant. So I think I'm right. So I have really strong opinions. And I'm arrogant. So I think I'm right. So it's like, that's why. He's ironically kind of the most barstool of anyone here.

Because I feel like barstool is kind of based off of like, I can do that. Yeah. Totally. While also being the least barstool. Yeah, exactly. Which is ironic that he actually is. He's a weird paradox on that one. Have better sex with Blue Chew, the original brand offering OG

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The Joe Schmo Show premieres Tuesday, January 21st at 9 p.m. Eastern on TBS. The Joe Schmo Show. Before I let you go, I know Dave put out a video talking about – so Grace went on Theo Vaughn talking about her tour I think Grace got a little taken out of context

or like a lot of people were saying if you listen to the full interview she was very appreciative of Barstool and grateful and all that and even in the clip she was saying that

Dave acknowledged as much but there was this part of I think when comedians find out that if you do comedy at barstool you don't get the money you don't get the tour they're like their brains short circuit is that true she said that she didn't get the the i i i i guess it was probably a difference between her tour and the plan brie yes her her comedy tour she gets the money plan breach she did not right

and i mean i get i get yeah at all it's a weird thing where it's like uh if you get a salary yeah comics don't get a salary you know what i mean so it's like when grace was making 175 grand a year like that's a very big difference for the normal comic so then when you go out and you earn money for the company you're kind of paying back your salary well then i think you reach a point though where it's like i remember being like i was getting paid to blog and do podcasts now we're like going on the road and this is something above and beyond sure and so now we need to work out some sort of cut because i don't think i deserve all of it but i think it's different than just my regular contract you know but i i just feel like sometimes comics you know and she even mentioned she was saying how uh they wanted to sponsor her i think her comedy and she was like

i don't want to do that because like in the comedy world it's viewed as like i don't know a scarlet letter to like have your tour sponsored okay i i just think some of these comedy rules are like fucking insane the rules like the or the the etiquette if you will you know what i mean or or even just understanding sometimes. It's like, yeah, she has a salary, and then the money that makes there has to come back. I get the comic one. I get a podcast tour being sponsored. I get, as a comic, being like, I don't need to be sponsored.

But the problem when you run into it, though, is then it's like, well, then you're spending. And I'm asking you this because I think you kind of ran into it where it's like well then you're but you're putting all your effort into your stand-up you know what i mean you got it you got it if you if you're like i make all my my money for my comedy tour and then that's like you what you focus on it's like that's bad for business oh i just i just meant the i wasn't talking about that i meant like when she said she doesn't want her comedy tour sponsor to be sponsored oh okay excuse me i think that's crazy but i think there's a part of where you're like well you paid for a ticket not for an advertisement where like you pay you bought your ticket you've spent your money i don't need to lecture you now

on oh well okay okay i'm not like i'm gonna make money from this because you bought tickets you you paid money to see it so you bought you your ticket. I don't need to make more money from this by doing ad reads in front of you. I guess so. I mean, if you turn it into one giant advertisement, I can understand that. If you put out posters that are like, the Grace Tour presented by Mamitas. And then we used to kind of do it with Pink Whitney. It's like, we're all going to do a shot at the show. And it's like, we can get fucking 20 extra grand for that. don't i don't think if i was in the audience i wouldn't

be like this is bullshit no no no i get that but and so sometimes i think there's like you're leaving a lot of money on the table from some pretty easy lifts that i don't think would like uh you know bastardize the comedy or something like that yeah i mean listen if uh if uh body armor came to me tomorrow and said we want to next behind you on stage in the cities that you go to have a okay good painting or a fucking poster that says drink body armor and have you wear a body armor t-shirt and we'll give you acts i would do that any day of the week really even see i would not do that even if i would you don't need to make all the money. We got a fair exchange here.

You bought tickets to see the show. I'm not making all the money. You're admirable. I want to make all the money. I want to make anything I can. I just think that's neat. If 10 minutes of the show is like, I'm going to talk to you about electrolytes, but if it's just like body armor right here, I'm all good, bro. I don't even want to speak about it in a barstool sense.

But if I was going to a comedy show and they had all that stuff, I'd be like, dude, you're encroaching on a fair deal. I bought tickets. You do the show. That's like being at a sporting event, though. I hate it at sporting events. They didn't buy a premium ticket. They didn't buy a ticket ticket they didn't buy a ticket that stipulated

this show will be presented sponsor free no I know but like for all of eternity it's a little it's a little

it's gauche yeah I get it if I went to see Mulaney and he had fucking body I'd be like this fucking

kind of sucks yeah well then you know maybe you lose repeat fans at which point you have to make a decision

I also think like I don't yeah Mulaney's not gonna do it but if you know you're in the in make a decision and it's i also think like i don't yeah millennia's not gonna do it but if you know you're in the in the middle area where it's like i have but then i i'm just about as a fan then i'd be the other way i'd be like who the fuck does this guy think he is yeah like if you're a middle of the road guy like with i but if it was just like a step and repeat was there or something like that or it was like on on your menu tonight if somebody in the beginning of their show or whatever in the middle

was like hey make sure you check out this like martini because it's this fucking drink or whatever like I don't know I wouldn't be like

this is fucking crazy I feel like people respect it more now because like I was talking to some people about how you know how if you pause like Hulu or something

and then there's an ad on there I'm kind of like get your money I don't care I'm fine with that one and I've talked to a lot of people and they feel the same so i feel like now it's like we know how much money get like people can get from ads like we know that like

people gotta get paid and if it's not in like a way that's like taking time away from me like get your money if anything i feel like comedians comics and podcasts and shit have fans that like want to support the cause yeah but like i want to support the cause i'll buy i'll buy a merch i'll buy a sweatshirt i'll buy t if it's a fucking good one i'll buy a sweatshirt i'll buy a t-shirt but like i just think everything has become so over monetized which is like you don't need to make fucking 50 million dollars on this show you're gonna make a lot of money i paid my ticket like you're gonna make the money from it i think some of the money that comics are making now is like it almost inherently has to change the industry a little bit, right? We've got guys making, like, you're making, like, athlete money.

You're making, like, Ronaldo money to be a comic now. And don't get me wrong. They earn it because you guys are on the road, like, 75 fucking nights a week. But, like, it's just you're never going to be the same comic you were when you made $100 million. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't see Nate Bargatze getting any worse. Not worse.

Was the highest-grossing comic last year. I think Nate will always be like Nate and be true to himself. I think there's other people out there. You look at Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart, right? Kevin Hart's first three or four specials were getting better and better and were amazing. And then, you know, Chase hires him to be their spokesperson. He does 40 movies with The Rock, and he gets pulled in 20 different directions. Right. That does not allow for you to keep up your comedic stand-up chops in the way that you need to for your next comedy special to keep being the right direction.

So if Nate starts, which he's, you know, you can start seeing it happening a little bit, like he's being added to these weird like live golf matches. He's being asked to host these like live golf matches he's being asked to host these random like new year's eve countdowns it's just this corporate tification you know commercial commercialization of a person who has said up to this point my sole focus is this and now it just can't be i mean yeah i yeah, I know. Well, it could be, but it will take great restraint because why would you turn down a commercial or something? Yeah. Fucking chase commercial with one day and cost you get 10 million bucks for it. But you do that 10 times with 10 different people.

And all of a sudden it's like, oh, that took up half my year. It just kind of it's the overexposure thing, too. I always think about that with the overexposure stuff. working here because as marty said we're we're the kings of it like yeah no one can overexpose like barstool can like i i'm less or not i am i i would be less reluctant uh less eager to do things for money but i get i worry that i would get overexposed of doing things you're just being like well i'd be fucking cool to play in that golf thing or like i got i don fucking cool to play in that golf thing. Or like,

I got, I don't think the opportunities in that, if I, you know, if I was in Nate shoes, I probably wouldn't do like a chase commercial. But if I, if they were like,

you want to host this, you want to present to the globes? I'd be like, yeah, it'd be fun. Yeah. Right. Like that,

I think is more, but I wonder, that's what I'm saying. It's like that. It, it, it, it's like sports almost.

It's like, you're talking about being the best of the best. You have to be like almost 100% focused. You know what I mean? And like the minute that you're not, it's like Tom Brady was Tom Brady because he never gave a fuck about anything else. Right.

And you could still be great, but you're not having the best. But also like Tom Brady still did commercials. He hosted SNL. Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Yeah, but he almost did that to like because someone was like, dude, you're not

appearing human. You know, and it'd be like, oh. No, that's when he was most human. That's what I'm saying. But that was all early years. People started thinking he was a robot later. I remember him going on like Letterman or Fallon and chugging a beer super fast.

That was very good. And I remember watching that and being like, the only reason he's – that's probably the first beer he's had in a year. Yeah. And the only reason he's doing this is to, like, dispel the unbelievably robotic, like, cutthroat, icy, determined athlete vene know you're not wrong in the sense but you're kind of you're also completely wrong in that like the only reason the only reason he did that on fallon is because everyone talks about he's the greatest beer drink all the time all his linemen

like anyone whoever any former patriot so that's what i mean like sure also if you're not a patriots fan you probably don't know but like but then any lineman is always like cynical you're like well did he only drink a beer in the locker room in front of his linemen to like you know to get that word out there i do think chugging a beer is is not the best example because that shit plays every time man yeah when you get when you get put on the jumbotron you chug a beer everyone goes yo he's like that like he's not a superstar he's all right it just plays every time man yeah when you get when you get put on the jumbotron you chug a beer everyone goes yo he's like that like he's not a superstar he's all right it just plays every time he did that i think he the one the one you're referring to i think he was in his 40s i think it's towards the end of his career but like most of the stories are all from his drinking days when he was tarry and there was the game they got snowed they got stuck up in buffalo so they all

went to like uh what's the what's the dinosaur place of upstate it's like there's some like famous mini chain kind of deal it's like dino bbq yeah yeah yeah um and and he went and he's like put on a clinic and was just like slamming beers in everyone's face and it was like i would guess it was probably like oh six and like that's when he was dating tara reed and he's going on snL and then he met Alex Guerrero and flipped. That stopped eating tomatoes. I struggle to imagine a guy who will not eat tomatoes being like, oh yeah, I've been chugging a lot of beers lately. That doesn't add up.

But again, it was just, there's a clear line once he met Alex Guerrero. Sure. That. All right, man. Well, good stuff. Appreciate you coming through. I don't know if I answered your question about the money in the barstool thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is a challenge. I think it's a strange balancing act. It's one that I have really tried, especially lately, like in the last two years. First of all, I did too much on the road and it broke me down but i always made sure to like have that be on the weekends and not keep me from you know doing what i needed to do and and in this year and in this past six months or so i've just said you know what i'm so happy atstool, and I want this to be my priority, and there's no reason for me to believe that if I really put my best foot forward

and focus on all this, that I won't make more money and grow my profile here versus being out doing stand-up. I still love doing stand-up, and I'm still going to do it. John's coming with me to D.C. first weekend of February. February 6th through the 8th. 6th through the 8th. It's actually the second week of February. Second weekend of February, which I'm really excited about.

But I'm just not going to be a guy who's on the road every fucking weekend. I can't do it. It almost crushed my entire life and made me not want to do stand-up. I was totally burned out. So I'm just going to be a lot more selective, intentional, and try to enjoy it more. But it's not for the money. It's the name of the game, bro.

The name of the game, dude. So go get tickets at the DC Comedy Loft February 6th through 8th. Are you excited to see this guy up there? Yeah, I'm excited to have John and see how he you know handles a real like road weekend he's gonna have to do five sets he's gonna have to get to 15 minutes and i would also say that the big thing for him that might be a little jarring is that my fans are not uh like barstool rara fans these are people that typically come because they listen to oops the podcast or they know me from alternate side parking thursday and they expect me to be a real stand-up so you're

not going to see a lot of like anus shirts you're not going to see a lot of people who are just like excited to see us you're going to see couples that are like we hired a babysitter you better fucking make this night worth it i'm very excited you you might have fun find yourself treading some water and it's gonna make you you know you'll learn quick yeah you're gonna have to find it so i have total faith uh also let me just jump in there if i if i know my boy i've said it's just more like life things where I'll be like, you know, you better watch out for this or that. And he's always kind of like, I'll be fine. And he usually is.

I don't have any worry at all. I saw you when we did the Out of Order live show in Philly, and you just were such a natural. It was like kind of frustrating. And so I have total faith. But, you know, you could have a rough moment and i'm excited it does i do too yeah yeah yeah it'll be an experience right yeah it's a lot it's a lot easier to have a uh rough moment when it's kind of like your new like not side gig but

like i already have a job so yeah it's one thing it was like oh no one's ever gonna come see me again i don't have it i don't have any income it's like, oh, no one's ever going to come see me again. I don't have any income. It's like, oh, that was a cool experience that I'll learn from. I can talk about it. I kind of want it. I don't want it, obviously, but I haven't had an opportunity to bomb, really.

It's been pretty Barstool-friendly crowds, but I kind of want just like, not a full bomb, but it's like a joke that I think is funny to go nowhere. I thought that was funny. Yeah, but that's how you would handle it. You'd be like, I don't know.

And the audience would be like, ah, that's funny. I'm realizing you guys are like same person, different fonts. Like nice background. Same coloring. Same fonts. I gotta go through the list of fonts and figure out which one's which. Wait, you say one's kind of a scumbag?

You, yeah. No, Jackie. I'm a total piece of shit yeah yeah he just polishes it up he just has a good vocabulary that's it i have a crush on one of jackie's friends and i'm always texting her or whenever she posts a photo with this girl, I'm like, you know, check in. Because she has a boyfriend. Yeah, not for long. Get a wedge. You got a wedge in there. But we have a funny rapport where I try to present well for Jackie in case the word gets back to her.

Would you, if she was single, would you hook it up? Would I hook it? I don't know if I could do that to her. To her. I'm kidding. No, I actually, I could see it. No, I think I'm too old for her. It's just a funny thing.

You said, give her like a wink. Oh, yeah. You messaged me and said, like, I'm hanging out with her. And you were like, I'm out with her or whatever. And I was like, oh out with her or whatever and I was like oh tell her I say hi but like in kind of like a coy standoffish way

like maybe maybe like give her a wink and then don't talk to her for the rest of the night and then you were like I did this and whatever and I was like that's not right I can't wink. You'll be the first to know.

Anything happens. I ship it. I'm in full support. That's great. All right. Good stuff, man. Thank you. Thank you guys for having me.

Always a pleasure. Appreciate you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.