KFC Radio - Frankie Borrelli Cried Doing Pizza Reviews For Dave Portnoy - Full Episode

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

Frankie Borrelli is back on KFC Radio, where his f***ed up self truly belongs. Frankie talks about the newest p*rn he watched, his for you page filled with breast-feeding content, missing doing pizza reviews for Dave Portnoy even though it made him cry, his theory that this is all a simulation, and much much more. Whistlepig: Buy our Whistlepig KFC Radio PiggyBack 100% Rye Whiskey at https://barstool.link/KFCWP Mindbloom: Go to https://barstool.link/MindbloomKFC and use code KFC for $100 off your first 6 program sessions.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So, uh, go back to- Will you guys clean your asshole in the shower? There we go. Will you guys clean your asshole in the shower? Do you stick your finger up your asshole with soap? are you ready for this sit right in the middle It's a Frankie sandwich Dirty fucking sandwich

We've been waiting a double team year Over the last for so long Welcome home, this is where you belong I've been waiting for this golf thing to fall apart And for you to come on home But it doesn't seem like it's happening anytime soon Foreplay continues to rise Particularly this weekend

I'm sure you guys moved so much And it was making me think back To early Milton days use their eyes. Particularly this weekend, I'm sure you guys moved just so much goddamn merch this weekend. We're trying. And it was making me think back to early Milton days. And, dude, the most requested thing ever in the tips email was always like, can you guys just make golf towels?

And for some reason, we were just like, no. That's a massive, massive industry that we were just like, fuck that. But it doesn't? That's a massive, massive industry that we were just like, fuck that. But it doesn't work when it's not,

like, real. It's authentic. Like, I mean, I tried, you can do somewhat. Like,

I faked with the Islanders and we sold those t-shirts and you can fake things here and there and make a little bit, but you can't, you know, go all the way.

And then this year, in particular, I was just saying yesterday, like, I feel like in the beginning stages of foreplay, we were just throwing our shirts. I'm saying with you guys. We were just throwing our logo on just the cheapest things

just to get our name out there. No, no. As years go on, you get to actually make cool stuff. You guys have the nicest fucking... But how cool is it to actually have real merchandise? I know. Well, you know what we have to throw? Let me tell you something.

We've come back around on this. See, but that's not true for them, I bet, because golf is a very affluent sport and people are used to spending money and buying quality things and all that shit. It's not even the level of quality. Golf fans want to look nice and want to be fashionable and shit. We – especially he tries with Sad Boy Season and I'm doing it with these hoodies and all this shit. And you know what our best seller is? Throwing bombs and banging bombs.

He's a fucking – he's not doing either. He's a fucking backup quarterback who's not even playing. And people are buying that hoodie. They're buying the Werdl hoodie. Werdl. It's two years old. And we've got, like, these nice corduroy jackets and shirt. Why am i putting

effort for this man and i think that's what you realize like when you when you see someone who's in any any variation of our industry like and and have been in it for a little while i think what happens is you you you you start like just trying to make money then you try to do like cool shit then you're like just go back to making the fucking money and then the very end is when hopefully you have a lot of cash and you can do whatever you want it doesn't matter but that middle where you're like fuck it i don't care let's make the dumb uh uh val uh vin small what's his fucking name vin diesel shirt you know what i mean yeah dominic terretto and dominic excuse me not dominic never mind it is not dominic terretto on the shirt yeah just a guy who happens to look a lot like Dominic Toretto.

But yeah, it's very discouraging and disheartening. But you guys can just keep doing that. Yeah, it's been insane. I mean, yeah, all of our stuff is legit the best stuff in golf. Like Peter Millar is the top brand in golf. G4 is the best golf shoe in golf. It's crazy that we have a part of Logo. You do the Taylor Maids.

Taylor Maid. You guys are in the video game. You're on the wall. Yo, I forgot about that. You guys are in the video game. You're on their wall of fame. Yo, I forgot about that. You guys being in the video game. Dude, I think that, aren't you guys on their hall of fame wall or something like that? TaylorMade. Yeah, that I think is even crazier than. If you walk down TaylorMade headquarters, it's all of the majors winners that they have

under their blanket or whatever. And then there's Trent Ryan at the end. That's crazy. For making 100. That is, to me. He's right next to Rory McIlroy. The video game makes sense Because it's like yo let's go get the gamer

Demographic And like we need to get young and all that shit But to be like let's put these guys on the hall of fame Wall like Rory like won the PGA Tour championship and then had to Like have his sign moved over For Trent Ryan It just goes to show man that golf that golf, the industry, the people in it, the players, most of the fans, I would say, or at least a chunk of the fans, were just dying to be fucking normal.

I know. Like, for years, you had to, like, pretend to be something you're not. Walking on eggshells. Yeah. We kicked those old geezers out of the game. For real. It's like to either go to the play. You had to have a zillion dollars and go to a country club,

and you had to wear stuff you don't usually wear, and you had to talk ways you don't usually talk. And eventually it was just like, you know, we're not like lords and ladies from old England anymore. You can just fucking play sports like normal. Play golf, right? That's another big one, right? Playing golf.

People get upset about that. People hate golfing. They don't like the term golfing. You say play golf? Yeah, you have to say like play golf, and you That's another big one, right? Playing golf. People get upset about that. People hate golfing. They don't like the term golfing. You say play golf? Yeah, you have to say, like, play golf, and you can't call them – you can't say golfing, even though we're golfers who then golf. You can't say – I thought it was the other way around.

I thought people said, we don't play golf, we golf. If you say you want to go golfing today, like, a pretentious fucking asshole would be like, duh. Do you want to go play the game of golf is what they would say. That's even crazier because I think play golf minimizes it. But we went to fucking Scotland, and there's a place called Crail Golfing Society since 1756. They've been saying this shit for fucking 300 years. That's crazy.

Fuck out of here. Yeah. Well, what I love most about you is I know that I rest assured that when you go out for like a foursome and Frankie Borelli's in there, by by the turn, Frankie's like, you ever think about sucking your own dick, guys? Well, because I've been talking about sucking dick a lot recently. I said that as just like a, that's my go-to, but I didn't know you actually had been talking about it. I've been thinking about it. Well, not sucking the dick.

I've been talking to Dick. Well, no, we have these hypotheticals all the time on the podcast and on the golf course. And I swear, and obviously originates from here. I think you guys had a answer. The internet where it was like, would you rather have a sum of money or suck a dick for like, so I think it was $50,000 to suck one dick or a thousand dollars for every dick.

You saw, I said, give me all the dicks. I think I desexualized sucking the dick where it just becomes a part of my day. And everyone, like Trent, thinks it's pretty gay. He thinks it's pretty gay. He thought I was pretty gay. Fucking, what a weirdo.

You think sucking dick is gay? You think a dude sucking dick is gay? The problem is I keep bringing this up to all my friends and everyone, and they're like, it's kind of gay. I'm like, bro, I'll suck a million dicks. Frankie, there is no doubt that a guy sucking a dick is gay. No, it's not. It's desexualized.

It becomes the same thing as brushing my teeth. Give me that cock. That semen ends up being morning orange juice. I don't give a fuck. It's a payday. It's a payday. It's the same thing as washing your car. Who cares?

You just go out there. You do it. Frankie, we've had girls who have answered the opposite of that. Bro, I would look so good at it. It's so gay. And it's really gay to be good at it. It's really gay to be good at it. But I'm with you on the answer.

I begrudgingly give a bad blowjob. But if you get good at it, then the fucking job's done fast. Fast. I'll suck two dicks every morning. I'll suck two dicks before I leave the house. Two grand in my pocket. It just becomes a thing you do. I don't understand what's wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that.

You just have to give in that it's gay. You have to be like, I'm a little bit gay. Put it this way. If you suck at least a dick every single morning, you're moving up on the Kinsey scale. You're a little more gay than you were yesterday. You're coming eye to eye with the business end of a fucking dick every morning. The first time you

suck that dick, you'll change your mind real quick. You'll be like, this is gay as fuck. But I do appreciate you. I would take pride in it. A job well done. I'm going to fucking suck this. Do you bring the same guy around or does that get crazy? That's another one. You actually get a boyfriend

and it's like, fuck. Is that why I got into this dick fucking game? Same old dick. get crazy. That's another one. You actually get a boyfriend. So I got into this dick fucking game. Same old dick. I just wish I had a different one with different shape, different size, different color.

Roll over in the morning like it's your wife of 50 years. God damn it. You suck that dick. There's another one that was, you could be

your regular self. He's doing it like you do when you wake up hard and you're kind of like... Poking it. Hey! You feel that? It's here.

It's here. Like stretching and shit. Just gotta wait. Just showing you. Just making conversation here ice Making conversation here The other one is Would you rather be Your regular self

Or You are a billionaire But you have to suck Yeah I'm not even gonna pose the question Because you already said You would suck a dick a day For a thousand dollars

This one You become a billionaire What is this one? It's your regular self Or You suck a I think it's like You suck the billionaire's dick Like an old guy's dick Every day suck a... I think it's like you suck the billionaire's dick,

like an old guy's dick every day, and you become a billionaire. You basically become like the billionaire's little boyfriend. Here's the problem. I don't want... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want it to be known that I would suck a dick for $1,000. That is not what the hypothetical is. This is my debate.

I want the ability to now make as much money as I possibly can. If you were ever in a jam... It's actually like $10 million. It's a blank check, Frankie. It's however much I want it. It now make as much money as I possibly can. If you were ever in a jam. It's not $1,000. It's actually like $10 million. It's a blank check, Frankie. It's a blank check. Yeah, I would never suck one dick for $1,000. That's insanity. But I would suck 200 dicks for $20,000.

It's like you would have a lot of people being like, yo, Frankie, my house burned down yesterday, and I don't have insurance. I need you to start sucking those dicks. Oh, that's a good point. You're a money tree. People would be hitting you up like a money tree. It would be like when you win the lottery, and you have your cousin coming around being like,

So, let me get that. Let me see some of that bread. Fuck. But you also can just be like, No, I suck the dick. It's my money. Right. You want the $1,000? You start sucking the dick.

Yeah, you suck the dick. You get the dick-sucking genie first. What about flashback, early 2020? You want the $1,000? You start sucking the dick. You get the dick-sucking genie first. What about flashback, early 2020? Everything's shut down. PPP loans aren't out yet. Dave's not doing the Barstool Fund. Mr. Borelli calls you up.

The restaurant's going under, Frankie. The restaurant, we gotta close the doors. We gotta shut all the doors. We need an influx of cash. Gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck, gluck. Frankie would be... You put it in real life terms. We gotta close the doors. We gotta shut all the doors. We need an influx of cash. Frankie would be... You put it in real life terms. Frankie would be sloppy. Your dad calls you...

I think he'd text you thanks. Yeah. I'll cash half of you. Keep the lights on, man. We got 75 grand this month. Thanks, dude. You suck 75 dicks for us. Thank you, man.

My dad gets grateful for what I'm doing. That's just like... It makes me feel... So Thank you, man. My dad gets grateful for what I'm doing. It makes me feel great. So proud of my son. My dad's crying and shit. My dad's tearing up. I actually think... Both of you are tearing up. I think...

This might be a bridge too far. But I think you could do it every day easier than a straight chick like i think a straight chick would get the same way they get sick of like banging their husband i think they'd be like i hate sucking his dick whereas you would think of it just as the money right like like like yeah yeah like like she's just like i'm in a relation jackie if you if you were dating some guy and you had to just blow him every single day because like that's what you have to do as a girlfriend, you would get sick of it, right?

Yeah. Yeah. If I told you that you could get. After. Yeah. So you would keep doing it. Yeah. Well, I guess that's a good girlfriend.

But if you could make $1,000 for every dick you sucked, you'd be, like, much more into it, right? Yeah. Yeah. make a thousand dollars for every dick you sucked you'd be like much more into it right yeah yeah so i think there's there's straight chicks everywhere would be like the majority of them would be like more sick of sucking dick than you would be right i think we desexualize it by saying this is what's happening i'm not even thinking about it as a thing it's just like hey i wake up i suck your dick i get a thousand bucks i move on with my day all right there's nothing wrong with that now we have to get stuff further would you uh fuck a dude no no no okay that's gay dude that's what what about the desexualization that was going on i can't though that's crazy all right

that's crazy no no i can't what if you found out it felt good no i can't fuck it i can't what if you what if you really like it somehow i just can't i think when we just get real, we're like, nah, I can't. Look, guys, we're having fun here. I just can't fucking do it. No matter what. Just desexualize it. You're just looking at the wall. I know. A hole's a hole, man.

Now it's making me rethink about the dick part. You know what I mean? I think everyone's all talk. You ever look down a pee hole? Yeah. Have you ever seen a dick like this way? I watch enough shit. Until you...

I was going to say I've never seen that, but, like, all right. I've seen my own. I watched some dude lay his dick on top of a guy's chastity dick the other day. What? Yeah. Wait, what? He laid his, like, big cock on, like, a guy's tiny little wiener. Frankie, what are you watching, bro?

The girlfriend could show. Frankie, that's gayer than sucking dick. That's gayer than sucking dick. It just popped up. It was like, oh, girlfriend shows husband what a real dick is. She walked him over like it was a dog. I know that game. She laid it on him, and he's just like Fucking dominating this guy

Went over and fucked his wife Bro It was unbelievable Getting I watched that shit I didn't even get hard I was just like No

I was like This is unbelievable That was an insane scene Imagine Imagine like just You have This is your little dick And a dick just

Drops on it Just on top of it Just a heavy Not even a Like a Like a heavy Thing of flesh Just drops on it. On top of it. Just a heavy, not even a heavy thing of flesh. It drops on your tiny dick. Dude, like a fucking skyscraper falling on a house. Oh, you thought you were building?

This is a fucking building, baby. You're the wicked witch, bro. Your little feet just hanging out. That house just fell right on top of you, dude. So, yeah, I don't want to look into a pee hole. I think there's something about seeing a dick from, you know, the other way. Like, you're staring at it like it's a fucking snake, you know, going at you. Not good.

That's a weird, you know, we're used to seeing it this way or even on a screen. But you see a 3D dick like this and you got to go at it. I don't know. That's weird. Sometimes in these urinals you can see different reflections of your dick, which is crazy. Reflections? Yeah, like UBS, where the Islanders play, they have an all-chrome one. I'm seeing bottom right view of it.

Weird. It's fucking wild. Frankie's getting hard. I want to go to UBS right now to see it. I've never seen this angle. It's not like a mirror. It's just stainless steel. It's just an all-stainless steel.

Right, so you get a reflection, right? You get a reflection. I was going to say, there's a mirror urinal. It's not like a mirror. It's just stainless steel. It's just an all stainless steel. Right, so you get a reflection, right. You get a reflection. He's going to say, there's a mirror here. That's fucking crazy. Just pissed on your own face. There's got to be a market for that, no? I'm sure. I'm sure there's some sex places.

I think it was hilarious. That'd be very funny. Yeah. To just pee on my own face? Not without actually peeing on my own face? That'd be pretty funny. I get a good laugh out of that. This is why I was going to say, you're born to be honest.

You were saying, though, you were saying, like, it just popped up. I think something's happened with the Pornhub where it is no longer taking into account, like, there is no more algorithm. I think they're just feeding you shit now. I'm sure. Because, like, I, dude, there's one. This is what people say who have their front page is weird shit. Bro, bro, no, no, no.

It's honestly, it's not even, like... It's very... It's not even, like, weird. Weitz is questioning himself. I'm not even, like, embarrassed to, like, say it. Dude, you want to know how fucked up I am?

I don't know how this happened, but my Instagram algorithm is all women, like, breastfeeding. That's stupid. How the heck did that happen? Bro, you want to see this shit? I think yours is... I think yours is yours might be

the first one the fucking bro what bro that's nip nip is out how do you know how that happened

I swear to god I didn't even click on one bro now it's gonna hit me a million times the account is breastfeeding.preg and it's got to hit me a million times. The account is breastfeeding.preg. And it's got like a little...

I promise you. I promise you. I didn't ask for this. Bro. Hashtag. And it's got some weird lip syncing thing. Hashtag breastfeeding moms. Hashtag breastfeeding.

Hashtag breastfeeding mom. Hashtag breastfeeding mama. Look how many hashtags. Oh, my God. How did that happen? Hashtag Frankie Burley. Why is that on Instagram? Yeah, man.

That's your first one. And then you got the regular stuff. You got some back cracking. Everyone's got some of that. I love the back cracking. Me too. You got some weird tooth thing. I got the tooth thing too.

You got some fat tits and fat ass, you little pervert. What happened one time, I think it like popped up and then when you slow down and be like, what is that? Yeah, yeah. Then all of a sudden the next time it's like two

and you're like, why am I getting this? And then it's 15. You're like, what's happening? The algorithm needs to take into account morbid curiosity. You know,

like we're just like, I didn't really want to see that but I had to slow down. It should be pretty easy. I didn't like it. 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18. It took 18 to get to golf. His 18th recommended video is a guy swinging a golf ball.

Instagram is a wild place now. It's fucking nuts. That is hilarious. What's on your Pornhub? It's not that common, but it's happened like one or two or three or four or ten times. It's just like fucking jacked chicks. Like fucking jacked. Like kangaroos?

Bro, there was one. I want to find it. I want to find it because it was so, like, disturbing. Like, it was just zoomed in on her. Like, the thumbnail was just. Now, see, now I'm like. Now you're looking for it. Now I'm looking for a muscle girl.

This is what I mean. Yo, here it is. I found it. Here it is. Right away. He got so excited. Whoa. I was like, is that a dick?

Is that one of those clits that's so big? What the hell am I looking for? Bro. Hello, dude. That's the thumbnail, dude? That's the thumbnail, bro. That's 4.2 million views? See, that also makes me feel better about myself, though,

where it's like a lot of people are watching weird things. Let me see this clit. Like 4 million people are clicking on that thumbnail. God, it looks like a toe. That looks like a toe. Wait, are we sure that's a clit? That looks like a very small dick. That looks like a clit to me.

Ruby Muscle visits the West Philly dungeon. Oh, God. Ruby Muscle visits the West Philly Dungeon. Oh, God. Ruby Muscle is definitely just a chick. Oh, these are all girls with really big clits, and I don't like that. But I will be clicking on West Philly Dungeon. Suck a clit like a fucking little neck. Like a lollipop. You drop the little neck in.

Bro, this is... Would you rather suck a dick every day or a huge clit? I don't know. I think I'd rather a dick. I think the clit wears me out. Bro, look at these tits. Sucking an oyster every morning. Look at those tits.

That's disgusting. Jesus Christ. He's so hard for me to jerk off now. I'm going to ask. It's hard to look at. I'm gonna be a jerk off now. I'm gonna ask. I'm gonna ask. It's hard to look at. I'd rather watch the guy lay his heavy cock on the small guy. You know what I have is.

It's called a heavy cock. When I go. Dude, a big cock is one thing. It's a heavy cock. Because honestly, don't you feel like a three-quarter dick is heavier than a hard dick? It feels that way, doesn't it? Like you drop it. Like a 75% hard dick has some weight to it.

I've laid this on the ground before. But your hard dick's like floating. Especially your teeth. I feel like your dick's going down. Why was that the thing that I said? Yeah. He's like. Boom. Here's what making it up. Yeah. He's like. Boom.

Here's what happens to me. No. I've got Pornhub on my. Why is that the first thing that pops up in your head? I've got Pornhub on my thing right there. Oh shit. It's the wordle. But it's a fucking.

It was a specific video. It was a cartoon. No it was a cartoon though. So this says this has been removed at the copyright holder because I think it was like Lara Croft or something. So now the first... But I just used that as my thumbnail. So now the very first time I go to porn,

it's always cartoons. So, I mean, by the way, the cartoons are getting real real. You tell me you don't want to watch that? That's unreal. I mean... Bro, fights. Look at that. That's want to watch that? That's unreal. I mean, bro, fights. Look at that. That's a cartoon, bro.

That's crazy. I could get that. That's fucking better than a fat clitted jackass. Man, what is wrong with you, bro? Why is that your fucking... Dude, that's what I'm saying. I've literally never looked at anything like that ever. I don't know how that would end up there.

So do you think that there are people... I mean, I know I would. If I was working for the Pornhubub algorithm I would just be like I'm gonna fuck with this guy's day I'm gonna send them down a fucking rabbit hole like has just start their head spiraling yeah what if I looked at them what is it that I would like this yeah do I do I like right that's the thing you start to get into people's brains like well wait a minute maybe I am wondering if like it's actually and it's like the real world. Stop wondering and start getting real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, I'm looking for this ad I had. Yeah, I screenshotted it right here. Dude, this ad is so fucking funny. The ad was a gif, and I thought you can't gif it. But imagine you see it's like a thing in your head, and it moves, and it kind of just hammers away like that. Is that on a man or a woman? It's on a man.

But it's like, imagine it's in his shower. Oh, I've seen that thing. I've contemplated buying that thing. Imagine you put it in your car wash. That thing looks awesome. But imagine it's just in your shower. You just have to explain to everyone, like, what's this thing? My dick washer.

That's the thing that sucks my dick wash shower. No, it's just washing it. It just washes it. It's a dick washer. That's the thing that sucks my dick wash out. No, it's just washing it. It just washes it. It's a dick washer. Bro, they have finally come around on some of the sex toys for guys. For so long, everyone was always like, you know, the girls have all the good toys. We just have like a fleshlight. They have that one thing that spins.

You messaged me and you said, have you ever tried this like meta quest thing? Virtual reality. What's it called? Oculus. Oculus. Oculus. Oculus, boy. You're like, dude, you can't. I actually said my family banned me from trying.

Not allowed. They said that to you? Yeah. Not allowed to do it. You'll never leave the house. I can't get that shit. No. I proudly did it, and it was a three three day period Where I was like I gotta get home

But then I broke the cycle There'd be fucking holes in the drywall I'd be running around all crazy Fucking losing my mind Fucking everything I really need you to try it once I'll just lend you mine That way you won't have it at home

I need to know Frankie's reaction to this It's like feeding reaction to this. It's like feeding crack to somebody or, like, heroin. Yeah, you just get, like, a one-day crack binge. Oh, God, dude. Dude, when Adriana Cechik was whispering in my ear, I was like, whoa, this is too fucked up. She said that to me when I was driving. I almost crashed the car. It's like, bro, they whisper in your ear.

I was like, Jesus. I'll never leave that verse. Dude, that's That's the future man I've never done it And it doesn't appeal to me Cause it is like Masturbation is just a transaction

Where it's just like I don't I don't wanna get too into it If you were younger You would I would What if you get the toy with it At that point

I'd rather just fuck a person Yeah Well yeah Obviously But like Yeah If I could have sex With Adriana Chet There are definitely times I Yeah, if I could have sex with Adriana Chechen, I would do that.

There are definitely times I'd rather jerk off than have sex. Yeah. I would rather... Oh, so if you're, like, that horned up to that point, you just, like, go try to actually have sex with a girl. And also, just such effort that goes into it. Right. That, like...

It's still less effort than having sex with a girl. Right. But at the end of the day, for the vast majority of people, it's way less effort to fuck an Oculus thing than have sex with a girl. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I don't want to take it off of sex. I'm sure we'll get back to it.

Speaking of versions, we've been hammering the fact that this is all simulation on foreplay recently. The whole world? The whole world. That's my new official belief. See, I can't stand it. Not that I can't stand it. I can't combat it. I'll just be like, no, it's real. How do you prove it?

No, I can't prove it. Is simulation meaning that there's other people playing with us? Meaning that someone created this and they left us in a deep part of their... But when you say someone, do you mean other humans or an alien? Another being. So you're not saying this is just in your head.

You're saying this is – I'm saying that some other existence far away or wherever, maybe it's another dimension of it, has created this for us and they put us here and it's just been something that we're experiencing. Yeah, I don't think that's – Well, I mean, that's crazy. You're just describing religion. No, but I think it's like... Yeah, like God was the one who put us here. Right, but I think that that's more believable to me

that somebody did do that than the fact that this all just happened by fucking coincidence. I think it's really weird. You know what really solidified it for me was that I saw this thing that was like the moon is the exact distance away from Earth as it is from the sun.

And it's the same diameter in distance to the sun. If it was an inch off, we'd all go flying into space and shit. It's like, well, someone obviously figured this all out. I know, but I also think that has something to do with gravity and shit. Ah, fuck that. No, yeah. But no, there are so many things. I don't know the examples, but I know there are many things that are that people point

to that's like it's just too perfect where one inch this way one percent that way one milligram you know whatever we'd all be dead and but I also what fucks me up the most is like when even if you say like the big bang

right which I think people are now saying is like kind of not the truth anymore like what is that exactly banging into when they say the universe is ever expanding well what is it going into we all just don't think about it enough no one thinks i want to be like him so bad he doesn't how do you know he doesn't think about this ever never on a planet and we're flying through space it's fucking insane to me that why do you guys think he's a fucking dog he's just a dumb dog we have to know what's going on no he doesn't how insane is his life that we just accept that no one knows what's going on 100 how insane is that think about that logically but no one the whole world doesn't give a fuck we just like we

just do it all we've all just given up. Yeah. Yeah. There's like three guys that are trying to figure it out. It's like the James Webb telescope flew this thing out there, and they're just looking at stars now. That's unsettling to me. Yeah, no.

It's the scale of it all fucks me up, where it's just like it's so. But that's why I'm like, oh, I'm angry. Bro, I couldn't finish college. You think I'm going to figure out the world? But it's not that. Be scared about it. I want you to be scared. I can't be scared about it.

I want the world to be nervous about what's actually happening here. Because it's fucking crazy. We're all just too normalized. Even more than that, what about when the fucking tsunami hit and 250,000 people died and we were just like, oh, well, I don't know. Yeah. It sucks. When did that happen?

2000, I think it was. Oh. Yeah. No, no, no. No. It's just like, you know, yeah, some people were upset, but most of us were just like, I don't know. That was crazy.

Yeah. Keep moving. We might be next. I don't know. 250,000 dead people I never met. I'm not rooting for it. It's not going to ruin my day. I saw, there was a graphic that said

if you take the Milky Way galaxy, which is our galaxy, we can't even, we can't go outside our galaxy. We can't even get outside two planets. That's how far this is. Yeah, our solar system. Our galaxy,

if you put it on, and this is the scale, the Milky Way galaxy, if you put a quarter in the middle of America, that would be how small our galaxy is.

That's crazy. I acknowledge it's crazy. That makes me want to fucking scream. It gets going on in so much. It's so small. But like. Feidelberg is very like, if I can't do anything about it, I don't care about it, which is a great way to live the only the only

class that ever resonated with me that i even remember one fucking millisecond of in college was philosophy and uh that english the only class i ever got good grades philosophy was like it's very interesting going back if i could have like majored in that or took more classes i would have done that but um like there there there is, I think it's hedonism it's called, hedonistic or whatever, where it's just like their philosophy is just always do what makes you feel good. As long as you don't hurt other people. You're just

here. There's no rules. Everybody, you just do whatever you want to do because there are no rules. It's just like, we're just here because we're here. That's why I think that the idea of selfishness should not be pejorative. I only get one life. Why the fuck wouldn't I be selfish?

That's what that philosophy is. It's just like as long as you're not like you can't murder someone. Right, right. I think we should agree. But even that, it's like, I don't know. Why not? But I think we can agree on a baseline of like don't intentionally harm other people. But when we, you know, it's like the amount of people you know that just stay in a relationship because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings or stay

for the wrong reasons or whatever like ruin their own life because you don't want to ruin someone else's life and it's like you probably should just be like i'm choosing me and you gotta go do you you know because it's just like do your own thing quit the job or you know whatever but then there's things like it's like i don't want to raise my kids like well you should tail on your kid right so but then it's a great area where you're like you got a spasmortion that is the one thing i do i do uh i i don't i reject selfishness in that and i think it's rude to not have sex with someone if they want to have sex with you I'm not saying unwilling I'm not saying like that kind of thing I mean like that sounds like just let yourself get raped it is I mean I guess that's the word you want to use I'm referring to myself well because you're a guy I never have sex I want to have like

the second someone shows interest in me I just do it i'm like yeah i got five minutes he said if uh you know girls were like if i don't come it doesn't count on my body count or whatever feidelberg was like if if i didn't want to have sex with you it doesn't count my number's like four he's only had sex with advantage of yeah hundreds but it's like it's not taking advantage of them so i'm just like, yeah, whatever. Well, that's also because you got raped in the woods by an old man. Feidelberg has far too many sexual assault cases to purge. That's all cases! Well, they should have been cases. Well, the other people should have been.

Yeah, oh, right, right, right. You were the victim of it. It's not me, dude. Feidelberg has several examples where he was the victim of sexual assault. You just let it float. Just let it float away. Yeah, he just doesn't care. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good way. At the same time, we say this. It's like, yeah, Feidelberg doesn't care, and he just lets it float. Just let it float away. Yeah, he just doesn't care. Yeah. Yeah, that's weird. At the same time we say this, it's like, yeah, Feidelberg doesn't care and he just lets it float away. It's like he's also ragingly depressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're describing mental illness. It's also he carries it with him every single day and it's an immense burden.

Oh, why? I laugh so hard at that. We do it every day. That's the podcast. I did that the other day, too. On foreplay, someone was like, oh, you know, this coronavirus killed millions of people. And I was like, dude., too, on 4Play. Someone was like, oh, you know, this coronavirus killed millions of people. And I was like, dude.

And then I stopped the podcast and I was like, whoa. Because we were saying how Tiger Woods beat it so easily that he beat a fucking – he's so good at everything that he beat a virus that killed millions of people and he played golf while doing it. I laughed at that. But I laughed after they said it killed millions of people. I just had to – I mean, we're warped at this point. You got laughed at that. But I laughed after they said it killed millions of people. I just had to... I mean, we're warped at this point. You gotta know that.

Anybody who's worked here for any extended period of time is just absolutely warped. What do you think about the brain in the sense that it doesn't actually know what's going on in its own body? We were talking about this the other day. Do we know that, though? You have to go to a doctor and he has to tell you

that you have something wrong with you. How does your brain, your own brain... No, I don't think that's true. Yes, it is. You know something's wrong. You might not know what. Right, why? Your brain should be all knowing about everything in there.

I think it kind of is. I think when you're in pain, that's your body saying something's wrong. No, it's always these hints. It's almost like someone that can speak to the dead. Like, is he wearing a red coat? No, just fucking tell me. Do I have cancer? Oh, yeah, I lost me.

What? Like, all these people that can speak to the dead? Like, is he wearing a red coat? Like, no, just fucking tell me. Do I have cancer? Whoa, whoa, whoa, you lost me. What? Like, all these, like, people that can speak to the dead. Like, if you could speak to the dead, you would just, like, just fucking speak to her. You know, like, what's the word I'm looking for? Like a medium? A medium, right? Like a medium. They get all these people, long-eyed medium, all these people, and they're like...

Well, Frankie, that's fake. Right, but I'm saying it's all these hints, right? It's like, oh, is he wearing a red coat? Did he used to have a ring? It's like, well, if my pop-pop is there, just tell him. Just fucking say it. Just talk to me right now. I don't care what coat he was wearing. Well, that's because those people... It's the same with symptoms is he wearing a red coat? Did he used to have a ring? It's like, well, if my pop-pop is there, just tell him. Just fucking say it. Just talk to me right now. I don't care what coat he was wearing.

Well, that's because those people. It's the same with symptoms. Those are scammers. It's the same with scams. So our brain's a scam. No, no, no, no, no. Because you have to understand that what cancer is, is it hides itself really well. Okay, but let's say.

It's like whatever's hurting or harming your body intentionally masks it so your body doesn't know. I'm just saying. It's more like it's getting beat. We never truly know. Right now with COVID and the flu, it's like we donming your body intentionally masks it. So like your body doesn't know. I'm just saying it's more like it's getting really no. Like right now with COVID and the flu, like it's like we don't know what it could be. Like, shouldn't our brain be all knowing about everything that's going on? Yeah, I have a runny nose. I get your argument. It could be a million different things. It could be nasal congestion.

It could be fucking a virus. It could be. But why don't you know? No, you don't. When you're like when you're in your body, when you have a run runny nose, your brain's telling your nose to make more mucus. It's doing that in response. I get that. But I'm just saying, shouldn't it be all knowing about exactly what's going on?

Why do doctors exist in that sense? Well, I guess it's just like life where you have to experience stuff first, right? Like your brain, you get sick, you get a virus. I see what you're saying. And you learn how to fight it, and then you never get that virus again. But until you fight that virus, your a virus and you learn how to fight it and then you never get that virus again but until you fight that virus your brain can't fucking know how to fight the virus yeah like i guess also like before you ever broke a bone and then you break a bone and when you break your second one you go oh it's broken yeah yeah right like you

know it right away it's like the first time you're like yeah you have to experience things for the first time and then you should be able to figure it out that makes sense also i i get what you're saying most brains probably fucking stink you gotta i i bet you like how many our brains are probably in like the top like there are so many dumb fucking people i'm not saying we're like elon musk and whatever but like just regular people like those like absolutely i was trying to explain QAnon to someone recently. First of all, I couldn't believe there was someone left in the world that didn't know what QAnon was. But I was trying to explain it.

No, never heard it before. I was like, I want your life. But yeah, the fact that homeboy from the Backstreet Boys, he got kicked out of the band for a little while because he just was, he became such a cute. Who was this? Oh, Brian Luttrell, right?

Brian, yeah. I forgot about that. He became such a cute, and like that guy, like they, did you watch the documentary? Like the little guy? Yeah.

And then, and then they're just like, we're pretty sure it's that Chinese guy, right? Like at the end of it, they're like, we're pretty sure it's this Asian dude.

And that was the end. It was just like, well, we think we figured it out. We don't know. But like the fact that there are, like, are – because I can get down with conspiracy theory. I know you can too. But then you get to the point where there are people who are like, nah, that's not Joe Biden. That's not Donald Trump.

That's Trump wearing Joe Biden's face. And they're like, for real, man. Look it up. They face swapped. And they really believe it. Middle land Florida. Like inland Florida. Just believe – like they have the same i think that was actually uh i think that q anon was like a uh exercise in that pushed the boundaries of how gullible a brain can be right

like there were just like if we if i had known how stupid their people were like that i probably would have tried to come up with my own fucking like qon. Oh, but we knew about QAnon. I mean, you can go back as far as religion itself. Yeah, I guess religion is a QAnon. The fact that there are people who are like, I'm eating his flesh and drinking his blood right now. No, no, no. It's really his blood. Well, no.

It's a cheap DeFrancia. It's all a box in the bag. I ordered the fucking wafers off of Amazon, dude. It's not. Trent and I went to go see Chain Gillis when he was here for the New York Comedy Festival. It was amazing, obviously. Like, the best comic of all time. I love that guy so much.

He also big-timed us after. We were supposed to say hi to him. Really? He's like, can't make it. And then that night, and this is for good reason. He just took a picture with Dave Chappelle. So he went ahead of us. He just wanted of Dave Chappelle so he went I understand that we're like

it's no problem but I can't remember who opened up for him and I don't know what the guy's name was but he tells a joke about God and religion I think it was O'Connor

I was gonna say I think it's O'Connor and I think I've heard O'Connor do a God like God work before it's very funny it's changed my life

what do you say basically being like imagine like and I obviously could be messing it up but he's like if another alien race came down here God work before. It's very funny, right? It's changed my life. What do you say? Basically being like, imagine and I obviously could be messing it up, but he's like if another alien race came down here and he's like, yeah, God came here and we fucking killed him. God came down and we

murdered him in the worst way possible. You better get the fuck out of here. For real. We're bad mamma dammit. We had the coolest dude ever. He could do everything. Literally, God sent his son down, and we murdered him. We fucking sent him back up. That's like when Philly, when the robot got destroyed in Philly.

Right, exactly. One of my favorite tweets. Me and my friends would have killed E.T. with hammers, that's for sure. One of my favorite tweets The Um Uh What is it Me and my friends Would have killed E.T. With hammers That's for sure Something like that

Like I can tell you that For sure Dude I think like the human instinct Is like Something new arrives Can you give me one too Something new arrives

And it's like Can I fuck it or kill it We're doing one of those two things or both and it depends on what order we're not that is one of those things again that is what my internal emotion is that is what i am inside of me and we teach people and rightfully so i think 99 all the time like be who you are whoever you are is who you are well I'm I'm a I'm a murdering fucker

yeah it's like well think about it as much as we are evolutionarily different than like a monkey I think it's

you know one little chromosome so it's like we're one little thing away like you were saying earlier from being like I fuck I eat I kill you know what i mean like that's fucking monkeys are like it is insane when you watch them they're there because the thing is they're like they're as smart as you can be while still having primal strength right so that's kind of scary

you know final break is pretty much like a gorilla pretty close it is it is the like it almost like like like uh the walk a mile in my shoes and shit like that people should have to walk around with testosterone in them like i think you said it before women who who transition to become men have been like i'm so sorry like i i did not understand you know i'm sorry for like when i yelled at you about this that and the other thing in our relationship Because like when you he makes you angry makes you horny it makes you clap like everything where they're just like You're just walking around all the time like pent up like I want to fuck it I want to kill it I want to fuck it I want to kill it And and now like I don't want to be like that I'm just like that yeah yeah I am I am always a gust of wind From either being enraged or hard. Yeah.

It's like the Louis C.K. bit where he picks up a girl and he's like, all right, I'm just going to go fuck her. And he's like, I'll just leave my car. I'll just get it tomorrow. He's not even thinking about his car getting towed. Nothing matters. I'll just leave my car. I'll just get it tomorrow. When you're in that mode, think about it.

You go out with your friends and they're like, yo, your only way to get home is, nope, I'll stay. I'll go back with her. We'll fuck her on the beach. I'll go to jail, whatever. I don't know. You do not care about anything.

I've done, I've had both where it's like, I went to go fuck, couldn't find a parking spot and just became so mad I couldn't find a parking spot but I just like,

just sat in my car like punching this dude like, fuck! I didn't want to go fucking parking! at my car, like punching the steering wheel. Like,. Just pure fucking rage. And that's why, but then when you come and you switch your brain,

like that, one of the scariest things in the world is the first time you have, like, if you were about to make a real bad decision and you come and then you don't, and you're like, yo, I was not in control of my own body that was like something possessed me you know i'm actually wild we keep we got to do this we got to get our we've been saying forever we want to get our testosterone test yeah yeah we got we want to do it and we want to see who has the most and the least so i'm doing right here and i'm sending it

you got to do blood or what no i think it's it's like saliva. I'm sending mine in. I'm afraid they're just going to tell me I'm gay. Imagine you get it back and you just get a piece of paper that just says, You're gay. And it's not even spelled right. It's spelled your. You're gay. The results are, for picture one, you're gay. Picture that hippie cock sitting on top of the fucking one in the chastity bag. You're fucking gay, dude.

And you have low T. The people at Get Checked, you get a note back that says, we didn't even run your blood, your saliva. We just listened to you on KC Radio talking about heavy cock. You got low T and you're gay. I'm actually nervous about taking that because I don't want to have to go down that rabbit hole. I am very against a lot of that stuff because it's like, I'm good right now. And even if I'm not, I am.

You know what I mean? So when it tells me, you've got to start taking this for supplemental, like, fuck, I don't want to do that. Dave doing that 10x stuff right now, that would horrify me. What's he doing? Dave did that 10x thing that, that would horrify me what's he doing like dave did that 10x thing um that um who did it like dana white did it where it was basically like you go to this guy and like he tells you he takes all your blood and tells you exactly what you're missing like what your biological yeah like age is and all that right right did it also and they let you know like hey like your biological age is 70 like we have to give you this to get it

down yeah like what you actually are. I would never want to know. I wouldn't want to really know. Bro, look at us. I know. I guess if we're men, it's actually nice to be able to make the change. But for me, it's like... You think that we're going to be men? No.

I can't turn anything around. They're going to be like, your results show you that you're a 63-year-old woman. And you can't fix that. You can't fix that, man. Dude. Yeah. And also, like, dude, I would not make the necessary changes to my life.

Like, I'm just going to live my life how I live it until I die. Whenever that happens. Bro, you know what happened to me this weekend? I had to go ice skating. I saw that. So the school organized this thing. They said to you, you know, it was almost like a field trip

for the kids, but outside of school. And they sent an email right before saying, we got a lot more yeses than we thought. We need volunteers. I get there. There is two instructors and

three classrooms full of kids said yes. They all said yes. It was, like, over the holiday. Parents need something to do with their kids. They're young. They want to do it. Like, everybody obviously said yes.

So I'm, like, this. I was, like, I'm going to have to get on the fucking ice. I don't have the right socks on. I'm not, you know, like, none of it is appealing to me. I watched them. And they just give my kids a fucking parking cone and say like go skate you know and keegan was like struggling bad and i was like i'm gonna fucking go like now and i was i obviously don't i'm not good at it i don't like doing it but i remembered back to the uh the

gronk thing the the barstool olympics thing that we did and i didn't you know win it but i was like i can i can ice skate right and i was like know, win it, but I was like, I can ice skate. And I was like, that wasn't that long ago. It was like seven years ago. Longer than that. Longer? I thought it was like 2015. No?

How long ago was that? I would have guessed eight. I mean, it was before we moved here. Okay. So, like. I would have guessed eight, nine. Okay. I've been here for like seven years now.

2016. No way. Yeah. So, six years. Wow. That's very surprising. Oh, wait. That's a repost. 2014. So, we're pushing eight years almost a decade i guess that does make a difference that's enough time where you're

like oh yeah but like i couldn't believe it man i was like oh god this is bad dude i was like wobbling and like and you know what it was it's just the like the nerves of like being like i'm just gonna slip and like fucking fracture a bone on my wrist and that's just gonna be a huge problem yeah so i just like i don't want that to happen but uh uh also the the rage within me from this fucking the people at the ice rink i want to just be like i'm gonna take my skate off and fucking murder you but the the uh like and but it was so depressing to be like i can't just like, we're pathetic.

Put on some, yeah, we're pathetic. That is my long window story to say we're pathetic. Well, that's what happens. Like my brand has now become like doing things that I have to like perform. I have to play golf and like do it well.

No, but then I have to play the drums. I got like elbow surgery. My body's like falling apart. That's true. I didn't think I, as I was going to get older, I would have to like do athletic activities, like play the drums in an hour long concert. I didn't think as I was going to get older I would have to do athletic activities, like play the drums

in an hour long concert. I'm 29. Why'd you look to me? We'll help here. I thought you were still a little younger. I remember when I interviewed Jerry Farrar, Turtle from Entourage, he was my age now back then.

And he was like, because you know and he was like because you know he used to be fat and now he's in fucking great shape great hair like turned it around totally and he was and i'm starting to realize like the truth of this around like late 30s is where you're like oh it's put up or shut up time like if you if you just continue to let this happen it's gone you're not going to get it back like i remember also i think you'll say that about every i heard that about 22 i heard that about 26 but it's happened at about 30 it's gone you're not gonna get it back like i remember but also i think you'll say that about every i heard that about 22 i heard that about 26 but it's happened about 30 it's happening though it is when i sit in a chair for too long my knees swell up i used to be able to like if i just uh like dieted for like two weeks i would like bounce right back yeah if i needed

to like if dave was like we're gonna do this ice skating thing i was like, well, I'm not great at ice skating, but I can do that You know like it's like getting to the point where it's like not And it's and you know what else I saw pictures of somebody we used to work with when they were younger and They were so skinny and then pictures later and I was like, oh my god They got back here and I was like, how my god, they got fat. And I was like, how? Are you saying it right to my face? That's fucking insane. Not even. Your moon face doesn't even compare. Someone sent a tweet yesterday

being like, do you guys do the width of your hats based off your fat moon face? Do you guys base the width of your hats off Frankie's fat fucking moon face? It made me laugh for like an hour. People are so mean on the internet. They're so mean, man.

No, but I get what you're saying. Like, I feel like you have these different benchmarks. I used to be 180, and if I ever approached 190, I was like, yo, get your shit together. You can't have 190.

And then 190 becomes regular. And now 200 scares me. And eventually 210 is going to scare you. And then all of a sudden you're fucking fat. You know what I mean? Because you just, at least for me, like I just kept going through enough shit in life where it's like, I got to worry about these kids. I got to worry about this divorce.

I got to worry about blah, blah, blah. Where you just like put everything else aside and you focus on not being in shape until it's too late. And then you're dead. Then you're fucking dead. I talk about my buddy. Thank thank god i can't wait for the sweet release of death i talk about my buddy rob all the time on the podcast he's just he doesn't laugh at work he's never smiled at work he's just never found himself in a situation in which it's made him chuckle he just goes to work does his work and then goes home his hair's falling out onto his keyboard his teeth fall out into his ham and cheese sandwich because when we were in high school,

he got punched in the face because I took somebody's hat off their head. And they just turned around and clocked him. And he's been dealing with this fake tooth for like 12 years. Finally got it done. It got rotted. His teeth are falling out. His hair is legitimately falling out to the point where he's going to Turkey tomorrow to get a fucking hair transplant.

Why are you going to Turkey? Because they don't call it Turkey Airlines. They call it Turkey Hairlines because everyone's been going there to get these $3,000 transplants. They probably do something illegal that we can't do here in America. I think Mike just got it done. Mike. Logan's got it. Yeah, I think that's where he heard it from.

Really? He's just doing it. Like Metallic? Oh, oh, oh, Mike Mahalik. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure it's probably something where it's like you, like this is's just instead of saying 30,000 here, they do it over there. Oh, is it? Because becoming a doctor over there is like a lot cheaper than here.

Like schooling over there is cheaper. Got it. Interesting. So all like medical is just cheaper. I mean he's probably going to die over there. But like it's been funny because we've used him as a benchmark for how old we're actually getting. Like we call him like – he's basically King Viserys. Every time we see him, he's like, bro, the other day he showed up to

our house and we played poker and he's just like, he fell asleep like this and he just looked horrific. First of all, he fell asleep like this? That right there is a bad sign. I'm a clown. Dude, the balding is the worst, man. Balding is the meanest thing that happens to, what do you think is worse?

Men who go bald or chicks who get fat? I'm going to day that one out i think at the end of the day fat girls can still like guys will fuck them yeah but i think i think girls will fuck bald guys too yes i i think that there is they both have their place in society we don't have to eradicate them it is but it is the think it's very – like guys don't have much about them. Like it's just like are you tall and do you have hair? Yeah. So when you don't have hair, it's like – I feel like the pendulum has got to be swinging back on talls.

And I don't think I took enough advantage of it. I don't think it is. I think there's – the short king, I think, made enough of it. But everything is so cyclical. Like, we got to, at some point, it's got to. I think that tall and big has always been, like, it's a primal thing, to go back to the earlier conversation. Really?

I just think, like, you know, biologically, it's never been good to be short. Unless, I mean, maybe they're, like, sneaking around or something. I think, but, like, being big. Maybe you need to fit in boxes. Maybe there's a time in society where you can fit in boxes really good. When you were minors,

you were good to be small and get in the hole. But I think, I think the short king thing made it enough of a joke where a girl could be like, LOL, I fucked a short king last night.

And it's like, okay. But overall, being tall is always going to be winning the genetic lottery. That is one of my favorite jokes in Ari's new special when he's talking about how he's like, I've been everywhere in this world. I've been in Latin America, Australia, Asia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hottest chicks bar none.

Berlin. He's like, everyone in Berlin is fucking six, four, six, five. Stunningly good looking. I'll tell you why. And he goes, and it was my first time walking out going, all right, you guys might have had a point. He's like, you're right. I don't belong here. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, when you think about it.

Check out Ari's special, Jew. It is very, very funny. I have to see it still. Oh, my God. I think it's fucking one of the best things I've ever watched. Because it is, it's, you know when people are like, I've been working on this for like five years. This is like my life's work.

Like Ari legitimately has just been like cultivating this Jew humor for his whole career. And he's perfected it and it is it's like you learn about shit yeah you do it's a history lesson while being funny and it's also when you think about it it's a history lesson of like the least funny thing that's ever happened you know to the people it's not all about like the holocaust and shit but in general a huge piece of their history is like the least funny thing that's ever happening happened and you're laughing like the whole time it's it's unbelievable but yeah i mean he uh ari you know when he's ever happened, and you're laughing the whole time. It's unbelievable. But yeah, I mean, he's like, yeah, we're sickly,

and we complain a lot and all these things. It's like, yeah, they're sickly. I mean, it's like Tommy. That's why we say Tommy is the most Jewish of all time. He has the thing where he's talking about, but we're still the second smartest race of people of all time, and he goes on about other stuff talking about but we're still like we're still the second smartest race of people of all time

and he goes on about other stuff. Who's smarter? And he just pauses and goes, Koreans. No one even asked anything and he's just

he's like, Koreans. That is a very funny part of that. But it's like every you know, they're all smart. What do you want?

They're all fucking smart. It's like, I don't know, the CEO of every company for a fucking reason. It is what it is. You know, they're all smart. What do you want? They're all fucking smart. I don't know. They're the CEO of every company for a fucking reason. It is what it is. You know? Black guys are good at basketball. Jewish people are smart. These are stereotypes for a reason. It just happens.

That's just a fact. How's that game, Who's the Biggest Asshole? It's our number one seller of Black Friday. Considering that we did a terrible job leading up to the drop of this. For people who have been in this game for all of our adult life,

we're still horrible at this. We had no promo. We could not compare to us. The game didn't exist. We couldn't promote it. But we probably should have been rolling out some of the episodes. We barely... Well, we didn't know. This is the perfect

example of just like i think dudes and us and how we operate this is 500 cards um we needed to uh basically come up with 500 of them because even the ones that we've done on the podcast that were either from the internet from our our callers or from our own personal lives are like novels so we had to like cut it up condense it down into like a sentence but still be you know it's harder than it sounds but we were like you know the the they told us like we need 500 of those we had a deadline of a year they're like we need this done by like this time we had a year next year. They were like, we need this done by this time next year. It was like nine months.

Round up for dramatic effect. I texted the group several times being like, I need everyone to do ten tonight. No, we never did it. We basically let it go down to the wire and they said, if you don't do it tomorrow, we won't be able to roll it out this year

for Black Friday. And I was like, well, you know, it's so hard. We did it on one train trip from Providence to New York. Oh my god. Could have been just... It was a little more than that. We had a couple more sessions, but yeah. But you know what I mean?

But in general, it did not... And now it was a pre-sale, and apologies if it doesn't get to you in time for Christmas. It can be like a... Take a picture of this and be like, it's going to be here in a week. But the procrastination was insane. And the laziness

was nuts. That's just who we are, though. As much as I was like, guys, we suck. There should almost be punishment for this. But we'll do it again for the we are, though. And I was like, as much as I was like, guys, we suck. And like, there should almost be like punishment for this. I was like, but we'll do it again for the next one, too. Because it's just like who we are. Dude, I slept on a mattress last night. Don't expect things of me.

I slept on just a bare mattress last night. At home? My apartment. Why? Did you? Why? Why? What did you do in the apartment?

No, no, because my fucking sheets are in the wash from ice cream. I have not checked it yet. You only have one pair of sheets? No, I have several sheets are in the wash from ice cream. I have not checked it yet. You only have one pair of sheets? No, I have several, but I don't. That's a horrible way to sleep. I don't know. They're wherever they are. We fell asleep with ice cream the other day.

I saw the picture. Did you see the picture? It was horrific. It's a massacre. Did you guys have a guest and you showed that to someone? Was it Nickelback? Yeah. Yeah.

People can guess that Nickelback in here. Crazy. Sitting in that seat right there Dude he just started singing at one point And I was like holy shit Look at this I'm a winner Everyone's like oh they're simple music

And if you stack all the music on top of each other It plays the same song Well if it's good what's the problem Also when did that become That is totally PR. I wish I could go back in time and do PR with them. Like, if

you do that with Michael Jackson songs, it's like oh, he has such a distinct style. But Nickelback is like Also, their style is like simplistic, very catchy music. Sounds fucking good. I hate that when they're like the chord progressions are like so simple who cares not everything needs to be a fucking guitar solo like no that's just what

they are these are good songs but it is if you ever heard uh i think it's look at this photograph someday they like they blended the two yeah it's like yeah but like who cares everybody does that by the way 10 million songs a million dra 10 million Drake songs. A million Drake songs. You could take Oops I Did It Again and put it over Hit Me Baby One More Time. Like, everybody's lead singles and big shit is always like, give the catnip to the fucking people and then we'll play some real songs. There's an old viral video called the Four Chords Song by Axis of Awesome. They're like a comedy band. They just put together every song that plays those four chords. And it's every pop song ever.

Everything. And everyone's like, oh, you think this's a neat unique song and they hit I think like 75 songs in one song it's awesome oh yeah I mean the amount of like samples that are used in rap music or drum loops like every single song but the but you're gonna pick like these guys out you know it's the most wonderful time of the year. We're almost into winter, allegedly. Winter now is going to be like February through May, but whatever. It's the holiday season.

It's the time of year where you kick back, you drink some whiskey, preferably the single barrel from KFC Radio, mixed up maybe perhaps with a little maple syrup to make yourself an old fashion. Maybe perhaps you drink it on the rocks. Maybe it's straight. Maybe you sip on it in front of the fire with your family. Maybe you fucking one-touch it with your boys that you're having a reunion with. Either way, it's Whistlepig season.

The best whiskey on the planet. This is not a joke. I think you really could make the argument from top to bottom, from the Boss Hog down to their most affordable. I'm sure there's other brands that people are like, this is the best ever, but you can't get

a bottle of it, of a variation of it for $50 the way you can with Whistlepig. And you're doing collabs with the people in the demographic that you are in that you love the most. It's the most full, comprehensive whiskey brand, I think, on the planet Earth. The new Boss Hog, have you seen it? I've seen it, yeah.

I'd like some. I know. I'd like some very much. I'd like some very much. Very, very much. Very, very much. Well, I forget what flavor it is, but it is mouthwatering. To me, also, the Boss Hog is about the packaging and the presentation of it. After getting involved with whiskey, I'm such a simp for the stories behind it and how it's made and like like even the fact our small batch we took a uh i think it was ash wood barstool and we put it in with the whiskey to uh change the

flavor so it's like the barstool flavor you get it uh all the stories like that of the way that they make their whiskeys unbelievable there's a reason why we did it with them uh greek fig nectar yeah it's like blue and scratch Ventura bottles. From the Greek Isles. The siren song. Yes, that's it. The Mediterranean. I like a bottle very much. So, whether it's the boss hog that you want to buy. I don't even know if you can

buy it. You can. It's $1,000. Retail or secondary market? I guess secondary market. I guess secondary market. I thought it was like $500 usually, but maybe this is that. Yeah, I mean, secondary. No, that's a different boss hog.

I think from their website, it's probably sold out already, but I think it's like $500. You can get it on the secondary market for quite a bit more. Or you can grab a bottle of KFC Radio Whiskey. Not $1,000. From your local liquor store or buy it online. Go to whistlepigwhiskey.com. Find the KFC bottle. Go get it.

We actually got to the bottom of it. It's Colin Quinn's old show Tough Crowd. See, I saw a clip of this. Yeah, and they said they didn't know who it was. Did you see the clip? Was it Colin Quinn or someone else on his show? I saw the clip of you guys talking about it it was interesting that like someone set that

narrative that's i mean like those guys are fucking just i actually think in the long run it might be better for them yeah because it's one of those things where everybody is still buying the records we know that and it keeps your name in the zeitgeist and everything yeah and by now being that thing makes them more popular than them just being like one in a million 90s bands. Right. I was going to say, there's a thousand,

you know, like, I don't know, fucking spin doctors. Right. They don't have any narrative one way or the other, you know? I think Creed and them were one in two

of, like, most sales of the 2000s and they're the two bands that everybody makes fun of. Right. Like, sign me up for that. Creed was there, too? No way.

I think it was highest sales of the 90s, or 2000s, whatever. I'd rather have that than indifference. Real quick, talking about games. The other night we played a game of charades at my house. And just to show actually how fucked up and gay I am. This just popped in my head.

It's a kid's game, right? So, I mean, the words on there are not sexual. But we had to get our person. It was a group charade. So, it was two people trying to get one person to guess. Got it. And the word was centipede. So I took my buddy and I just threw him down on the ground. I put my face in his ass.

I bet they got it. And we walked around the fucking room. I bet they said centipede. He's like, what's happening? And someone's just like, centipede. I'm like, boom. I mean, hey, bro, you want to win the game, right? Yeah, yeah. How else would you do a centipede? You play to, boom! I mean, hey, the game's the game, right? How else would you do a centipede?

You play to win the game. We've talked about it for a long time. I think you'd have to, I don't know, do something with a bunch of legs. No, no. 1,000% what I would do. You know he's in your buddy's asshole,

and you just fucking parade around him. I maybe would have tried to grab him and do it the other way. No, no, no. If you're going to do it, you got to do it. I think the worst part of it was how aggressive it was.

I grabbed his hips. You pulled him in like. And he slid on the wood floors towards us. Oh, my God. Almost like clawing. Fingernails. I've seen that move in points when he kind of just dragged. Yeah.

We also said, like, what if you just made an X-rated version of charades? You know, how funny that would be with, like, couples. Like, you're playing with your friends. It's like blowjobs. We also said, what if you just made an X-rated version of charades? How funny would that be with couples? Like you're playing with your friend, it's like blowjob. It's like, oh, you win. Just blow your friend. I was kicking around the idea. Oh, that's a blowjob.

And you're also just sucking Andrew's dick. Just like, ah. What in the game? I think I was kicking around the idea of like just a full blown game night for like a KSU radio game night where everything is x-rated or like really shock value I love that shit

I mean imagine if you had to do charades for like the worst things in the world oh my god like how would you do charades for holocaust that's what I was thinking I don't know what I would do you immediately popped in my head yeah you can't say it Like, how would you do a phrase for Holocaust? That's what I was thinking. I don't know what I would do. I really don't know what I would do. You immediately popped in my head.

What would you do? I'm not going to. Yeah, you can't say it. Like, you would have to be, you'd have to, like. You've got to be the walk, right? The way you walk. Yeah, you have to do the walk. Dude, the goose step was exactly what I thought.

And then you'd have to convey, like, the Jewish people in a way. Yeah, they're like. That's a nightmare. You'd be like, not Jewish. You'd be like. And then that's. Yeah, no. You could have like, not cheese. You'd be like, and then next. Yeah, no. You could have a lot of fun with that. Dude, this has given me renewed faith, or I guess maybe the opposite.

I don't know where I stand. If you're ever bummed out about your life or think that you're weird or stressed or whatever, the scenarios in here, it's like fact is stranger than it's your best seller so people are buying games like well what's cool about this one game night this is also like it's a real game like you have these these chips that you bet and there's a judge and if you uh if you say the boyfriend was the asshole and the judge agrees you get points for it people don't you also can try to then sway people to change their opinion though and then you win the points so there's like a lot of there's actual games to it like the gameplay of answer the internet was like it's not it because it's I

Think this one does have the gameplay to I do think I'm more of a conversation When someone starts explaining to me, I'm like I don't do it. Yeah, particularly a card game like carving I mean like a deck of cards that I'm like don't fucking care Yeah this suit means that And this is Will 100% just end up Like you have the bar playing it But if you ever wanted to like Sit down and play for real Like you can do that

All games evolve into that Like I always pull up your guys Like KFC I pull up the Answer the internet all the time Just to bring it up to my buddies Like hypotheticals I'll do the same with this

I'll do the same with the dozen I always pull up the dozen And I'll just read trivia questions I'll literally just go through the video The video and I'll do the same with the dozen. I always pull up the dozen and I'll just read trivia questions. I'll literally just go through the video and I'll ask questions. The one that I've loved was

a guy got his girlfriend his grandmother's, his dead grandma's mattress for her birthday. The boyfriend got mad. Who's the. It was the boyfriend got mad. Who's the asshole here? The boyfriend got mad that the girlfriend bought herself an Apple Watch for her birthday

and like one-upped him. And in this case, like 10-upped him because his gift to her was a dead grandma's mattress. Dead grandmother's. She knew that the grandma died recently. Was she in need of a mattress? Yeah they were supposed to get one And they got it late You don't know who the asshole is

It's the guy who gave her the gift It's the dead grandma's mattress And then got mad about it Got a good deal It was $0 All it took was one dead grandma What did it cost me? A lifetime of memories.

When I watch people live the day of life now, when I watch Austin go through it and new people get yelled at or whatever, what do you feel? What's your emotion when you see that? Because I actually think you're one of the last ones, Austin gets it too but I think from here on out

it'll be like a revolving door of assistance and shit and they'll kind of get shit on but they also won't ever get all the perks. You were like his We were grinding. I mean he still is grinding like crazy But you're doing pizza reviews all over the place Yeah and he's still doing that so like Yeah, like you were like his, you know. We were grinding. I mean, he still is grinding like crazy. But you're doing like pizza reviews all over the place at that point.

Yeah, and he's still doing that. So like shout out to Spider and Austin. They're fucking going every single college. So yeah, he's definitely still in the grind mode. I mean, the guy's never stopping. But I guess what's different now is that he's not in the office as much. So like even when the task was over, I still was under watch. Which was like just –

That's kind of what I mean. The anxiety I would get. People forget that he – we always list like the Dave guys, and you were never like officially his – like one of his cameramen or assistants. But Feidelberg was under – I say literally because Dave used to sit on that perch for years. No, he didn't say hi to you, didn't say bye to you. to sit on that perch for years. Didn't say hi to you, didn't say bye to you. But I preferred that. I preferred

being under his perch because the anxiety that I would get from an email was ten times worse than just hearing it from him. When he just talked to me, I was like, alright, we're talking like adults, like humans. But when you just get the texts from Dave, or the fucking...

I swear to God, if I have it one day, it's because of that feeling. Dude, the humans. But when you just get the texts from Dave. Stomach cancer. Or the fucking. I swear to God, if I have it one day, it's because of that feeling. Dude, the fucking. We would just be like, just the subject of an email. No body. Just like, what the fuck is wrong with this? You're like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Dude, the best one was Riggs and Trent got.

So they were at the Ryder Cup or something like that. Or they were at something. You guys got smoked for that, right? Yeah, I wasn't part of Foreplay at that point. Oh, okay. So Dave started the email being like hey guys great rider cup right awesome awesome uh awesome job by tiger woods winning the first one the first round one and all where the fuck are you guys the beginning of it was all super nice that's actually like one of the funniest he usually just goes right to business. What the fuck are you doing? Wake up! Wake up! I remember that one specifically that you guys just weren't covering that or the Ryder Cup.

It was kind of crazy. That was kind of crazy. It was five years ago, so I think they didn't know. I don't know what they were doing. I'm not sure what the reasoning was. Well, I'm sure I could tell you that foreplay probably had exploded, and in Dave's mind, it was like a new vertical that was amazing but since that never ever

gets voiced to anyone the foreplay guys were probably just like I don't know we'll just keep doing what we do meanwhile you know the bar had been raised and they never knew it because nobody communicates the uh we had fucking the one he sent me this is like when I bar school you still was uh

did you have an all three go in there? no you were just fight over it because I didn't do when I was at Barstool U still. Oh, wow. Did you have an all three go in there? No. You were just fight over it. No, I was just fight over it. Because you were like still a college kid. Because I didn't do – Barstool U ended up becoming just another of the Barstool sites. Yeah. But when it was like pitched – it wasn't pitched.

It was told to us. It was like you are only allowed to do college stories. Right. It is no other stories except college things. So we were trying to think of unique college stories like Top 5. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I think the original thing was the hope was to get college writers kind of I guess what the Vice Word program has become but with more bloggers. So that's why Keith had an alter ego alter ego named brick noonan from wisconsin

and he would just publish stories under that sometimes and k marco other times and i think dave tried to do one of these woody from texas was he yeah because i remember there was there was a dave like silverfish or whatever remember you oh he was like tom silverfish was an alter ego on the newspaper and i think he tried to like revitalize that or revive that for barstool you would write a different tone and stuff like i don't think he would i think it was very obvious you could see all the spaces but i remember anyway we were writing like like like the only website we could use because the only like college exclusive website at the time was like huffpo college or whatever yeah and they

weren't there weren't that many stories so like we would go like a day where i had like two blogs up because like we didn't want to step on your, we didn't want to step on your toes. We didn't want to step on any of the real-life toes. So we weren't taking any stories. And Dave was like, where the fuck are all the blogs? And I was like, there really haven't been many college stories. And this is all my fault. We definitely botched our first attempt at Parsley U.

And he just went ahead and replied. And, like, I didn't know dave i i had never met i met him once i met him at my interview but like i thought of him as like the funny guy online i thought yeah you don't think it was like your boss i thought it was like a nice guy like yeah i didn't i didn't know him right right and uh and he was like he replied like like jesus fucking christ you're gonna be the first guy ever fired before he even meets his boss or something like that and I didn't send the email

but I had typed out like ha ha ha sorry I'll get it better I didn't send it because I was like maybe he's serious because at that point he wasn't like Dave the fucking the conqueror I thought he was just fucking around with me

I was actually trying to figure out where it became that just recently i was having this thought for some reason um i guess somebody was asking me you know what do you what's dave like in real life or whatever and because i remember always telling people that i i knew like very quickly in like 2009 we were not going to be like a collaborative effort because i sent him an email saying how about you blog on barstool new york for a day and i blog on boston and it'll be like funstones and jetsons like a crossover and he just wrote back why would we ever do that and i was like okay cool never mind so i was like check like never you know never try to be like you know collaborative again but i but i i wasn't like all right like it's fucking me versus dave now i don't know when

that happened i know by deflate gate it i think deflate gate was like the nail in the coffin new york versus boston just but but but it was like i think yes i think on some level there was a uh uh subconscious thing of like i want new york to be the best And I think he was like, I don't want these new guys to be the best. I want to still be the best. But I, at least in the beginning, thought of that as a good-natured, like, rising tide sort of thing. But I think at some point it got, like, you know, not, like, really personal, but it definitely became more than just, like, healthy competition.

Maybe it's his personal preference, too. He's not, like, a big stand-up guy, right? So maybe just like he didn't like see like your style. I mean, he didn't care about podcasting. He doesn't like stand-up. I get that. But all the guys that he really gels with really well are all the people that do exactly what he does.

Well, yeah, I remember being – Gambling. Gambling. I remember being like I'm fucked. Like I don't gamble and I can't force it. You cannot force it. All the people that have tried to force it have failed at it yeah and everyone that's well that was rocketed I remember trying to talk about like I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing

the the the vernacular of it all it's like if you don't know it and it's so obvious right away if you try if you're trying to talk about it but I remember being like Dave gambles and whatever but then as more and more people came that gambled it was very obvious like I remember just be like nobody's like friends with Dave he's just Dave but then it's and more people came that gambled, it was very obvious. I remember just being like, nobody's friends with Dave. He's just Dave. But then it's like, oh, if you gamble and you like horse racing and all this, you do become friends with him. So then I was like, oh, fuck. I'm on the outside

looking in. But I still don't know when it was like... when it became more like a rivalry or whatever. The team... Oh, you know, it was probably that team porn thing. It was probably that. I was was gonna say when we first was in new york yeah because i think being i was hot that was when i first came in it was hot yeah he was like rallying up the troops to go well that's yeah that's what sucked is that wasn't it like robbie robbie and

trent oh that happened too but that was that was that that was i think the powder keg i think i think there was a powder keg and like the kanye concert and and things like that lit it but there was like that was our first night in new york i know that's what i mean it's like pre-new york i mean for me i think it was a lot of like you know it was mets it was like patriots jets and new york boston and it was like little shit talking that eventually was like, oh, like that joke took it a little too far. That one was like out of line. And you do that like every day for years.

Things were not going your way. So I was just like the punching bag forever. I mean, I think there was definitely a period of time where Dave thought that sports were real life. It's like, if my team wins, I am the winner and you are the loser. I think like that. I don't know. You just. Yeah you just yeah no i mean we all do but it's like it's like yeah i'm i'm better than you because i pick these colors you know that's how it goes but um but yeah that but i also dealt with it like for an hour on on uh rundown and then gone you know yeah whereas

you guys radio was a wild time radio yeah see you had pizza you did radio 24-7 all of it and you know what maybe it's a sick fuck in me but I miss that fire like I talk to Trent about it

all the time those big days were always special bro I miss that fire I miss the big days but I also miss just being in the line of fire I do wow

I definitely get that I miss like you guys are sick fucks I miss like having a deadline of like and so I do it with myself with foreplay. Now I'm editing Breaking 90, and I'm sitting there. I want someone to text me and be like,

this isn't fucking out tonight. You're dead. You're murdered. It's just like, do it. I've said it with these guys before. I'm like, I don't manage like Dave. And we've had a couple screw-ups. And I'm like, if this was Dave, he would emasculate you in front of everyone

but you would never make that mistake ever again I've always tried to say that to our guys and our guys are incredible the amount of videos we put out is fucking asinine Jake and Brendan are nuts it's crazy you're putting out an hour and a half edited golf movie two times a week every single week

when you compare that to the movie industry and TV, the amount of stuff you shot, like one music video, right? It took like a week to do one music video. These guys do it like twice a day, every day. It's crazy. It's a nonstop. But like sometimes if they like mess up or I don't see the fire,

I'll be, I want to say like, dude, if you worked on a day one day, you'd be fucking murdered. But you can't say it because it's like, it's a dick thing to say. It's a dick thing. It's statistical. You can't compare yourself to fucking Dave. When people are like, these new guys don't know, it's like, of course they don't know.

They work for the company when it's worth a billion dollars. We work for a company that's worth ten thousand. I hate the, I went to school uphill both ways, but it's like, yeah, things were different and harder back then. And you can't replicate. You can't just be like, act like me., but it's like, yeah, things were different and harder back then. And you can't replicate. You can't just be like, act like me. Pretend it's that way. It's like unless you have someone with the knife over your head at every second, you're not going to feel that way. I miss the rush.

I used to get such a crazy rush. You're a junkie. You're a fucking sick junkie. Dude, I used to get such a high of like, all right, we're going to a pizza. We've got nine to knock out. There's going to be fans. There's going to be people. There's going to be a mess up somewhere along the line.

The Uber's not going to pick us up. I've got to call it as we're 15 minutes out. I used to know every single mannerism he was going to do or every single decision. I knew when the time got too long in the car that I hadn't called the next pizza place that as I'm pulling up my phone, I heard he's about to say, where's the pizza place?

I'm like, oh, no, no, I'm already on the phone. I knew everything how to do it. And I missed that rush. Well, it becomes like it's your sport almost. I want to go do a feature of you run with him again. But I don't know if he'll let me do it. See, I think he is so, I don't think he even feels any of that. I think he's just like, I just do this for the money. I just do this for the company.

What are you talking about? You know, it's almost like when people say, this is bulletin board material. And it's like, we don't need any extra motivation. That's Dave. He just doesn't need the reason to do it reason to do it he's like i just do it but for everybody else it is like the juice that gets flowing you're working with the best and the biggest and you know the margin has the same thing like when he does a big like video for him or whatever you see like it's like a sense of like wow we got through something massive like yeah

dave and i had to go through some crazy stuff like Super Bowl I got fucking carried out had I dropped that phone or didn't get that video You're dead who knows where like it doesn't go like that was like our biggest viral moment to know that like, you know Everybody pretty much knows now to have the phone or the camera. He told there was a time like take the camera I'm going limp. Yeah But to that time my phone was like, like, reaching, like, capacity. Capacity? You might have not had that? I remember sitting there because, dude, when we were going to the Super Bowls and all those playoff runs, you're taking video of a four-hour game every second. Right.

You're sitting there filming. So, like, and you couldn't really go into your photo album and delete because then you would maybe miss the next play. So I would just have all these photos. When you do that, are you – is it a running video or are you stopping? I was stopping. Every play you stop. We were wondering about the gambling cave guys now when they just sit there. They stop and go, stop and go.

That's paying the ass. Yeah, that job sucks. That's crazy. Now they have two phones. You notice that? They have a phone just for filming. Yeah, yeah. So they can text.

Because I used to get texts. Had someone called me during that? I think the video ends. Not now, but one at a time. Back then. I think the video just is over. Because fucking my nanny called me. Nanny and pop-up.

So now you're like, you go to foreplay. You become, it was a while where you're like, you go to foreplay. Yeah. You become, it was a while where you're like the two and a half member, you know, now you're like fully. We talked to Dave. I was like, well, I sat down with Dave and I was like, can I do this? Oh, I remember that. That was a tough period of time where Frankie was doing, you were doing, at one point you

were full time both though, which is always the hardest. We were recording foreplay at like 11 o'clock at night. Right. In the office. After Dave would leave at like eight, we'd sit there, we'd write a rundown yeah we'd do it and i would only jump on i never did guest interviews like so it was a very weird time and i never did videos for sure like my first time ever doing a video with them was when like i took over the youtube page and that was only a couple years ago like during covid so um yeah i sat down dave at um

kentucky derby and i was like hey like obviously like i'm doing both like what do you think should be my next move like what's the best decision for frankie borelli and i never thought i'd be able to ask dave borna that like that was ballsy oh that was i can't believe dave gave you i'm guessing well he was just like you know like i think that your future is probably better off like trying to do four plays. It's a big brand. And if you want to do that, go ahead and do it. I can figure it out.

I'll get a guy. So it was an amazing conversation. I wanted to hug the guy. I'm like, all right. You know, I'm going to miss this. It is funny. And then two years went by where I wasn't able to move. It was so good.

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If he had found a replacement for you right away, it probably would have been fine. Well, the way that I got Austin in here was I basically hit him from Dave. So Austin was helping me during, like, we were doing pizza reviews. Obviously, the unboxings was insane. The unboxings was, like, the craziest time of my life. I wept. I cried in front of my family. One night, I came downstairs, and I was like, you can't do it.

Wait, why was that so hard? Because that was just IG Live, I thought. He would do IG Live from 10 o'clock to 1 o'clock in the morning. And I would have to sit there from 10 to 1 a.m. Writing down what I thought were all the best gifts. And then he would WeTransfer them to me. So that was a nightmare. The videos were three hours long. So he'd have to sit there. He'd have no Wi-Fi. And he'd WeTransfer them to me. So that was a nightmare. The videos were three hours long.

Right, right. So he'd have to sit there. He'd have no Wi-Fi. And he'd WeTransfer me the video. And then I would have to edit it and have it up by 9 a.m. each day. And that went on for 31 straight days. So by day 21, I was like, I just can't do it. And you're also doing the podcast at that point?

And I started that Behind the Greens video Because I was going to say At that point I would just be nocturnal But you can't So I would edit the video until like 4am And then I'd go to Wingfoot And we'd film the new series And that was like our biggest video ever

So it was like the things that were happening But then Austin and Marina Who obviously Marina is like my She's my queen Marina has helped me throughout my entire career If I didn't have her I never would have made it through Dave There's so many times Where like I couldn't get to something And she's my queen marina has helped me throughout my entire career if i didn't have her i never would have made it through dave there's so many times where like i couldn't get to something and she's just like i'm obviously in front of the computer i can get it during that time like i

had this guy austin who was from boston he was helping me do a lot of pizza reviews so he was like hey man i'm a go-getter i know everything about dave i know his mannerisms i'm a die-hard dave portnoy fan i knew you you needed someone like that that would trust, that I could trust. So I was sending him a bunch of pizza reviews, and I was editing them, because at this time, a lot of the stuff was remote. Dave would send it to me from his phone.

By the way, you have to know when we hire outside cameramen and editors, they always botch it. And the people, they'll have the camera on the thing over here. And it's like, no, you have to be on Dave. Knowing how to shoot Dave, knowing how to shoot Barstool style is one thing. And then knowing how to shoot Dave is a whole other thing.

He's got to have a feel for the moment. He's always pointing at things. So Austin, he would edit a piece for you, and I would edit the same one. And I would check them. And if I felt like it wasn't right, I just post mine. So I was doing, I was sending it to him, letting him practice. But you were doing it yourself. And I was doing it myself.

And then months of that went by. That's a cool way to do it. Months and months. And Dave didn't even know this kid existed. He was in Boston. He drove down to New York one day because his Wi-Fi went out and he's like, I'm going to come get the fucking card. And that's how I knew he had it.

Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He slept in my apartment. Like it was my first time meeting him. I'm like, bro, here's the the card for just like one review just for like six we did like a bunch of reviews somewhere in like jersey and i had seven of them i'm like i'm trying to send this to you and he's like i'm gonna come down there and get it right you do it like 10 o'clock at night got to my place like 3 a.m he took the card slept on my couch and then went

back to boston edited the video yeah so shout out to Austin. That's how I knew. Big shout out to Austin. So you kind of like – Yeah, you just like – One day I just switched them. Yeah. And he never noticed. It's like Miyagi-ing somebody kind of like. And like Austin started posting them. And like Marina would post –

like then Austin would send a pizza review to Marina. So at some point I was just – Was there a reveal to Dave? Well, then like finally – At one point were you ever like, hey. He would come into the office and I'd be like, this is the guy that's been doing this and then he met with them and i i got gas on the gas kind of facilitated he's like this guy's really good but yeah there was how many times we say it like the number one way is like to just do it just do

it but it's like but people are like okay and it's like no like literally fucking and you also have to know that it falls on you when it messes up when i was doing all that shit had like when i gave them full like control where it was like austin send this to marina and post this if if that review was fucked up that night he's not calling austin i have to make sure that's like that's when you become almost like a producer and you're delegating and shit but you still you know there's a lot of delegating going on it was nerve-wracking it was a nervous time but um i mean now they're fucking killing it so but like do you i feel like you you look back on it being like i loved it like i love it but you didn't you know like at the time you were like you're crying your family and like you're in that role yeah i'm just saying it's so funny you

get even just a little bit of distance this is not like oh like 10 years ago and you know it's like this was your your last role yeah and you're and you already kind of forget how but there is that like camaraderie not even camaraderie because you weren't really sharing the experience with anyone but when you like when you get to the storm you're like oh that was scary when we were in there but like that was kind of fucking wild right i also yeah i love the love the life experience to be like, that's something that 0.01% of the world can be like, yeah, I was the punching bag producer, right-hand man, assistant, and pseudo-friend of a hundred millionaire for a couple weeks. To be fair, he was never really that bad to me.

He wasn't, I was never considered a punching bag. I did that to myself because I never wanted to fuck up. You know, I've had a theory about Dave on that front too. He's never been mean to me. Obviously, he's yelled at me if I messed up like a couple times. He made me cry at the pizza place one time because he said he was going to fire me. And I said that my daddy wouldn't take me back. Which now knowing my dad, that was like week one.

He's like, dude, you suck. I'm like, I can't get high. I'm like, you're going to put me on the streets. That honestly is a good way to get to Dave because – Now knowing my dad, like obviously –'s like, dude, you suck. I'm like, I can't get high. I'm like, you're going to put me on the streets. That honestly is a good way to get to Dave because – Now knowing my dad, like, obviously – Of course he would take you back. Yeah, he's like the most loving father in the world. But, like, knowing Dave, like, the best way – it's kind of like a Grinch thing.

Like, you can – if you can get to his heart, he doesn't want to hurt anybody. Like, you know, he doesn't want to be – and maybe it's from a selfish point of view. He doesn't want to be known as the guy who, like, kicked this dude when he was down. But he doesn't want that on his conscience at all i feel definitely get yelled at like austin gets yelled at for internet issues and stuff and dave knows that's not his fault but like he it is his fault because you should have set it up before and it never should have gotten done right i would always think of how am i going to get yelled at today and that would cause my life to suck that's the great way to approach life like if you have a

shitty boss be like not like what do i have to get done today? Like, how am I going to get chewed out if I fuck this up? So 100% always live with the negative. I haven't thought about it was about making money on the side because now a lot of people, it's a very gray area. A lot of people are making influencer money. And when we came up, that was like a big no, no. But I was like, was it really though? Was there ever like a sit down or an email that was like, was it really, though? Was there ever, like, a sit-down or an email that was like,

you cannot do this? I think Dave just kind of, like, incepted us on that. Probably somewhere in a contract, but not really. That's what I mean. I've definitely heard him say it. Yeah, but. I've for sure heard him say it, where it was like, and this is back at the old office, and it was like,

if they have money to advertise with you, they have money to advertise with us. He said that to you guys? Yeah. Because I don't think I ever, like, had that conversation. We all know that lie. Well, if they give you a little bit you, they have money to advertise with us. He said that to you guys? Because I don't think I ever had that conversation. We all know that lie. Well, if they give you a little bit, they can give Barstow a lot of it. Well, I do know when he used to say it's a loophole where it's like they get –

It is, though. They're a fucking scumbag. For sure. But I don't know if there was ever just like a hard and fast rule about it. Maybe not. Because I feel like when some people started doing it, nothing really happened. I remember being like, wait a second. The new guy is making like X, Y, Z on the side? And I'm like too afraid.

I remember seeing publicity posts on Instagram, hashtag ads. I was like, what's happening here? That's what I mean. But like nothing happened to her or anybody else. And I was like, wait, are we allowed to do this in this whole time? I've just been too afraid to like even push the envelope. It is funny. Like I was just – everything Dave thinks I think at this point.

So it's just like when he says – he's like, I would love to go on Cameo and make a couple extra dollars. Maybe pay my taxes at the end of the year or something. But I can't because Dave says your career is a failure if you go on Cameo. I've looked at the email being like, oh, everyone on Barstool is on Cameo. But I just put the phone down. I remember – I think he was specifically saying that too when he found out i was on there it was always a nice little extra jab but it but it was true like i was doing it at a point where i like needed to pay taxes and and

like had bills and i was like i am not gonna have enough money at the end of the year and and this and then as soon as i was good i was like i'm not doing fucking cameo you know what i mean it's a good thing when you're like in a jam or if you're like the guys from the office who make like $2 million a year, it's like, it's, that's your, like almost your job.

Right. But that in between, it is like, yeah, you need, yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't just,

I would be like, I don't feel like doing this stuff. It's like, it's so easy in theory, but it's like, I'd be like, I don't, I don't have this.

Like I, I know they're bachelor party, all my energy on fucking another podcast. And podcast and yeah i do podcasts i do interviews that's all the talking i do for the you know the best that it is is our guy bobby fairway is fucking so that's another one where he basically has like a career doing that yeah who's this bobby uh robin burger he's like the number one guy on cameo he's trying 100 bucks a pop crazy that's the other one guy on Cameo. He's charged $100 a pop. Crazy. That's the other thing too. You get a real ego check when it comes down to deciding how much you charge.

And you see how much some other people charge. What were yours? I did $40, I think. Or I did $50, but I tried $100. And it was like nada, zero. Nobody booked me, dropped it down to 50 and like I instantly got like a decent amount. So it was like,

wow, I know my exact worth. Like it's, it's not even a hundred dollars. It's not even $60. It's, it's might not even be 51. It's 49. He does it for bachelor parties where like everyone sits around the TV and they throw it up on there.

And it's like a two minute, just hype up video. Yeah. See, I, what you're about to do. That is you. And like, they give them all the jokes they do that they do birthdays you do you do the bachelor parties you do like gender reveals uh i feel like that is kind of like what they're used for yeah but i'm not i don't have you know but he has that that voice and i'm just like by

the way you know it's so funny now he's like our biggest competitor it's amazing how that just comes up and it didn't have to be that way like for barcelona stuff but yeah there was a perfect example of a guy like that should have been on the pirate ship and had email wasn't for uh like honestly good for him he's doing his own thing he was always going to blow up he's just such a such a character and they have like their own version of golf like people watch us now at this point to make fun of us at how bad we are at golf and they watch him just for the comedy version. He's basically a comedy brand on the golf course. That voice is – I mean, he's funny, but the voice is what makes it so unique.

And his cast of characters are incredible. Fat Perez and Joey Colcutt. Dude, he just, like, has a factory. It's crazy. It's like a little mini bar store. It really is. He just creates and finds these guys. He's in good shape.

That's another example of, like, if you're on Dave's bad side or wrong side for some reason. He just didn't like the way he took the first contract. I remember that being – talking to him being like, you know what, man? Don't take it personal. But like you're just never going to mix it with Barstool. I met with Bobby in LA. We were out there doing like pizza reviews and I like went and got dinner with him.

And he's like, you know, like the first meeting with Dave did not go well. It was the hardest thing I ever had to like talk with him. Basically, he met with him and he was like you know like the first meeting with dave did not go well it was the the hardest thing i ever had to like talk with him he met with him and he was like he gave him an offer and then robbie like sent back a message being like hey like i think i'm worth like a little more just negotiated i want to stay in la because i have a really good lease and dave's like you're like you don't want to take a risk on this you You're done. And then from then on, it was just like nothing. I think Dave is very fair with negotiating and money and your worth and shit when he thinks you are worth it. Well, to be fair, Dave, Robbie didn't have anything going for him when they were having that negotiation. He just had Instagram.

Now he's got a fucking plan. But I remember thinking, this is just a solo dude who has like 150,000 people on his Instagram, which if you're not a chick or you don't have some sort of backing and you do just... I don't know, put it this way. I had enough thought of him to be like, this guy's good. Dave didn't think so. He actually did think he was good. I remember talking with him being like, he's pretty good on the talking.

Just not good enough to. He did not like the way he negotiated. He's like, this guy's going to be a problem down the line, the way that he's talking about his worth and all this stuff. Right. Dave has rules about that where it's like, as soon as you say a certain thing. This guy respects himself. This is going to be a headache down the road.

I think that there was a point where. That is also why I do think that there are a million different reasons why Barstool worked. I think it was because none of us respected ourselves. So none of us... Our end of year calls or meetings

would be like, hey, you're getting a $5,000 raise. Beautiful. Sounds good. The fact that he found the five or six guys in the beginning that were as passionate about it and as biggest pushover pussies in the world. It is amazing. It's fucking Doctor Strange in the Infinity War. There's one combination where Barstool exists, and it's that.

Find a bunch of funny guys who are afraid of me. It is true, though. He had to find a bunch of people that were complacent in the fact that they were just going to work as hard as anyone's ever worked ever and not care about. Yeah. Well, like, complacent with, like, your, like, salary and stuff. Because, like, he needed you guys to, like, not give a fuck about that. But also. In the beginning or else it never would have worked.

But part of that, though, is there was nobody else to go to. True. There was no other. But, like, it was also. I've always said that, like, the my only we fucking made it moment is, we've sold out theaters. We've done these fucking massive shows. We've had Cyrus the Boy's incredible successes.

My only I made it moment is when I made 50 grand a year. Right. Because I was like, I can live on this. Right. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I ever wanted to do was live on this. So that's it.

We needed like five or 6 of you guys for a long time to feel that same way but I mean at least for me having a little taste of the shitty life and then having a taste of like I wrote this great blog or this video or whatever being like proud

of that and being like fuck you bro bible or whoever they chive at we're better than all of you. Uh, was, was like enough for us, but it should have been like, and also,

but he was, the salaries were good though. That's the thing. I, I, every time I, I, I got a little bit fed up.

I got like enough of a raise where I was like, cool, I'm good. You know? And now it's like, obviously different where, you know, things have just gotten crazy.

And it's like, some part of me is like, I don't think anybody should be getting paid what they're getting paid it's crazy you know but you know the proof is in the fucking pudding and the old guys are just like i think it's it's like we can't even i don't know for me it's like i can't even comprehend some of it no so but but uh for the guys who've been through the fire like frankie it's i don't know made you made you the little twink that you are today, man. You think when you see those old pictures and videos of you,

aging in barstool years is a thing. It's just that you happen to look like you were 14 at the time, and now you look like you're 24 or whatever. I know some grays here. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely gray up top. Oh, bro, you're gray, gray dog.

I like gray, man. Oh, I, you're gray, gray dog. I like gray, man. Oh, I think you look great. If I'm going to look like a child, though, I'm going to look like fucking Benjamin Button. Fuck. I still got an ID to receive the Eucharist at church. You got to be like eight for that. I mean, when do you fucking make your fucking confirmation? You're like, nah.

I remember this one lady was like, nah, you're just. No just no how old are you i was like 18 or 19 years old i was like i'm not 12 didn't you get like carded at our rated movie or something yeah it was you right yeah yeah i mean that's crazy years ago three years that is insane to even card someone in the first place yeah fucking how much how old do you have to be for a rated r movie 17 17. 17. But like, I mean, no one, no one has ever, I started going on like 12. How about the other day we were at a restaurant, 10 people and the fucking waitress just goes,

can I see your ID just to me? Everyone around me is my age. I literally said, what the fuck is this? I'm like, what the fuck's going on right now? She's like, I just don't believe you.

I think you're a liar. That's what's happening. I am getting gray. I don't know what the fuck's going on right now? She's like, I just don't believe you. I think you're a liar. That's what's happening. I am getting gray. I don't know what the fuck's going to happen. Gray is fine as long as you have the hair. That's the key. I think everybody, you got hair, you're not having any. I have to just ferment it at some point.

I can't go full gray by the time I'm 35 years old. I think it's way weirder to be the guy who dyes his hair than to be the guy who has gray hair. Really, though? Yes. What's the guy's name? dyes his hair than to be the guy who has gray hair. Really, though? Yes. What's the guy's name? John fucking... I mean, Millmore looked good with gray hair. Yes, exactly.

Millmore looked fantastic. He's also older looking. No, I think you kind of actually look similar to Millmore. You have the same builds. True. Is it John Singletary? No, that's a football player. The guy from...

John Slattery, maybe. Mad Men? Mad Men, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, that's full gray. Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper, right?attery, maybe. Mad Men? Mad Men, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude, that's full grade. Anderson Cooper. Silver Fox, man. Someone fucking messaged me the other day that I was wearing a sweatsuit that we were selling for 4.

Someone said, you look like in the Santa Claus when Tim Allen is just realizing he's about to be Santa Claus. And it was the most fucking... He's clean shaven, but he's fat. Clean-shaven, fat gray suit. And he's just looking in the mirror like, oh, getting gray. Yeah, man. Well, it's been a good ride, so...

When you guys clean your asshole in the shower... There we go. When you guys clean your asshole in the shower, do you stick your finger up your asshole with soap? I do not. Clearly you guys clean your asshole in the shower, do you stick your finger up your asshole with soap? I do not. Clearly you do. I do the lean forward and you spread the cheeks. If you don't spread the cheeks in the shower, you're an asshole.

I've given it a little finger before. You go like a knuckle in? No, no, no. Just a little rim job. How else do you actually clean it? I just bar soap and I fucking do that. I feel like you got to just clean the outside. I do the gel. It's a the outside. I do the gel.

It's a lube. I do the gel. Bro, you're just having soap up your own ass? Bro, you just like to finger your own ass. That's all. Frankie's farting bubbles later. You just have a little kinky shower for yourself, don't you? I like the feeling.

Yeah. You guys ever give yourself a reach around? No, I go underneath and then I back, and then you do the spread. All right. All right. Good to know. Turn this fucking mic off. One day when you're either too old to golf or you have a catastrophic accident and can no longer golf, you just come over here.

From my hospital bed. Come on home. Quadriplegic. Just talking about life. Fuck. From my hospital bed. Come on home. Quadriplegic, just talking about. I do love whenever a little bit of KFC radio Frankie comes out, and it's just funny having Trent and Riggs on the other side. Not that they can't hang by any means, but Trent we know is just a good-loving, nice guy,

and Riggs is so singularly focused. And then it's like, yeah, you guys ever fucking finger your own ass? I said all the time. Well, that's a different question. Yes. Check your prostate. Check your prostate. All right.

Go watch foreplay and shit, you know. All right. Good shit, boys. Thanks, man. Love you guys សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បាាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.