KFC Radio - Gaz Continued to Stir the Pot Amidst The Recent Barstool Drama Ft. Tank Sinatra

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

The Barstool Drama involving Kelly Keegs vs The Mean Girls continues, and Gaz has now brought Nate and Dave into the mix after a private argument between Francis and Nate. Tune in to catch up. ++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Start 00:00:30 World Baseball Classic and Baseball Fans 00:15:08 Gaz gives his take on the Mean Girls / Keegs drama 00:52:31 AITA 01:01:15 Colleen's WTBA 01:04:04 farting in public 01:18:13 Shampoo up you d*** 01:22:39 Jackie's in a helmet 01:28:33 VIdeo Voicemails 01:51:48 Tank Sinatra Interview ++++++++++++++++++++ Pirate Water: Go to drinkpiratewater.com to find pirate water in a location near you Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply)You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I've gotten UTIs from jerking off, dude. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. We got drama. We got drama coming out of our fucking eyeballs here. Bruins three games away from it. They got sent in the franchise record. Otani versus Mike Trout in the bottom of the ninth.

You know what's weird about that? Everyone talk about that matchup. Like, what a great matchup that was. No, it wasn't. It was a matchup in name. Otani fucking blew Mike Trout out of the water. Cast him. That looked like it was a it was a matchup in name odani fucking blew mike out of the water that was like he was a nobody yeah that was that mike trout has only struck out on three swings six times in his career really it's like six times out of like 5 000 appearances or whatever

the fuck it is like a crazy number uh that is you know it's like does times out of like 5,000 appearances or whatever the fuck it is. Like a crazy number. That is – Which is – you know, it's like does it really matter? Like, you know, you strike out, you strike out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the fact that he does not swing and miss three times. He went 0 for 3 six times in his life. It was crazy.

And Otani did it right there on the spot. I mean that was – Talk about a guy who – as much as I – we know, we'll dig my heels in on the World Baseball Classic when it comes to American baseball, Major League Baseball, and American fans. For Japan, we know... Japan and the Dominican, it's fucking crazy. So, Otani, we know, can perform on the biggest of stages.

Yeah. Because he's like, if Mike Trout goes yard on me here, I have to go home and kill myself in front of my family. I was – I shamed my entire name. That is the best argument. I watched the top nine – the bottom nine – no, top nine in Mexico, Japan. And I watched from top seven through after the Bruins game for the final.

So I am hardly a massive WBC guy. But the fact that was missing, I've never watched a USA hockey game, track and field, gymnastics, it doesn't matter. And when, I kind of don't want them to win. But when the top nine happened, Otani came out I was like, I wasn't rooting against USA, but I was like I will feel really bad for Shohei Otani if he blows this.

When USA played Russia fucking 6am the Oshii game, and I love Ovechkin, I wasn't like oh man, this would be big I feel bad that Ovi has to go home. That's because there's real juice. There's real international competition.

And maybe down the road, and listen, by the time the 2026 WBC hits, the Mets will have a World Series, and I'll be like, I don't care. Whatever. Then I can enjoy it. But there needs to be, you cannot fabricate that feeling. And right now, all the people who want to grow the game and love the sport, they just love the sport itself. I don't really love baseball.

People are like, KFC doesn't love baseball. I'm like, you're right. I love the Mets. There's a very big difference. I don't like any other baseball besides the Mets baseball. I think that's a vast majority of people. I love hockey. You're not sitting down and watching the Canucks play the Sharks.

Yeah, I don't watch much. I watch the Bruins very much. I think we've already said that. And I'll tune into McDavid here and there. A big matchup, sure. But 95%, 99% of hockey I watch is the Boston Bruins. Basketball is very star-driven, so a lot of people kind of just tune in to watch individual performances.

Football has fantasy sports and gambling, so they watch everything. And baseball is a regional game in America. And also, to me, I think of America as like in Europe, you're rooting for your country almost the same way we are as states and cities. You know what I mean? So it's like my national pride is new york my bubble my thing i care about is new york and then within that it's like the mets and the yankees is divided there so it's like levels away from me giving a fuck about even my entire city let alone my entire country you know and it is also again uh having consumed a minimal amount of WBC, but just following on Twitter, I'm active. I'm a human being who's alive.

I was aware of all the stuff going on. I knew we didn't send any good pictures. I didn't know most of our lineup kind of sucked, too. We were top-heavy. We had a lot of stars. When I put it on for the top seventh, and it was whoever, it was 9-1-2, which is whoever 9 was. Maybe Turner? No, whatever. 7th and it was whoever it was 9-1-2 which is whoever 9 was maybe Turner no whatever it was 9-1-2 and it was blank

Betts Trout and then Betts ground whoever was up first hit a single Betts ground into a double play Trout popped out to right and then everyone was like well we're fucked now game's over and I was like what are you talking about who are 3-4-5 guys like the 3-4-5 in the 8th in a two run game is hardly the game's over. And I was like, what are you talking about? Who are 3-4-5 guys? Like, the 3-4-5 in the eighth

in a two-run game is hardly the game's over. It was lights out. You know, I also like, homeboy who started the game, I can't remember his name because he's like the number three starter on the Diamondbacks. He's a fine pitcher. But like, we were talking about this being the biggest

baseball game in the world. It's like, well, then you said yesterday, well, then where's Justinin merlander yeah you know so all of those things aside you know those are all points that i've been making over and over and over again that people just don't seem to listen to yeah i will say it was very like it was fun it had had vibes to it i i don't get me wrong i'm not like this sucked but there is a part where you're like well where are the fucking guys and if you're it Was it Judge on the scene? Where was Judge? No. He wasn't? No. I could have sworn I saw Judge in a USA jersey at some point.

I mean, maybe last time, but no. The Yankees didn't send their, like, stars, because they're like, fuck this. When people were like, this is over, I was like, Judge must be coming up next inning, right? I mean, like, he's the face of baseball. Yeah. You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I always argue against it. It's like, he's the biggest baseball star, and he's the face of baseball. Yeah. You know like as much as I hate to admit it I always argue against it.

It's like he's the biggest baseball star and he's not there. So I the main thing I couldn't stand was watching

people almost be like happy that Otani struck him out there and they were like what a great moment that was. I agree. It's amazing for Otani.

It's amazing for Japan. It wasn't that great a moment. It was he blew him away. It wasn't like a great moment that was. I agree. It's amazing for Otani. It's amazing for Japan. It wasn't that great a moment. It was he blew him away. It wasn't like a great at-bat, but I'm saying it was like, it was Trout, his teammate. That had a lot more buildup. That at-bat was the fucking Broncos, Panthers, Super Bowl. Whereas like, it's like, oh, the Super Bowl's coming up.

This is going to be huge. And then it started, you're like, this is a fucking bloodbath. Disaster. Yeah, yeah. That is, but that aside, like the fact that I know all these guys telling me that they're so patriotic and it's all about America, we're like, wow, that was awesome. Fuck that.

The whole international competition thing needs to be like almost bad blood where you're like, fuck these other guys. It's all about America. That is all what it boils down to is the baseball community just loves. It's the ultimate please like my sport. And it finally got on a grand scale and it was being it was excited and it was being enjoyed. So they were just like coming themselves.

I can't see it being a turning point. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen that much baseball talk on Twitter. I know. In a long time. Right. Like I maybe ever. I don't seen that much baseball talk on Twitter in a long time. Right. Maybe ever.

I don't know. I do wonder if it wasn't an argument what it would have been like. Basically, if I wasn't around, what it would have been like. Would it have just been people being like, this is awesome play, but there was no argument about it. When Schwarber hit that bomb, that was like, I mean, it was – we talk about it a lot, how Twitter was our thing and how we got Tank Sinatra on this episode. Wait, what did Schwarber do? Schwarber went deep in the eighth to make a 3-2.

And it was a fucking monster at bat. I think he fouled off eight pitches in a row, six in a row, something like that. It was on pitch 10, he hit a fucking moonshot to right. And it was like, all right. And Turner hit the – I thought Turner hit a big home run. No. I don't even know how they got there. By the time I turned it on,

it was 3-1. Got it. But yeah, Schwarber went big fly in the eighth. And it was like, oh, fuck. Like,

this is going to be turned into another one of those. What was the crowd cheering for? Were they cheering for like both sides? Or was it heavily American or what? I couldn't really tell the sound. Crowd shots had a good mix. I heard. Yeah.

Yeah. Crowd shots, there were a lot of Japanese on the crowd. I feel like in the beginning rounds in Miami, it was a lot of the Caribbean teams. So I feel like those were heavy Puerto Rican, Dominican, Cuba, all that shit. And then I feel like Japan probably just, I mean, I'm sure you were breaking the bank if you're Japanese to go watch Otani.

But, man, I... So I got wind yesterday that there's somebody somewhere at some publication is probably writing a hit piece on me over this. And I was like, I swear to God, if there's a real hit piece that comes out of me arguing about whether or not my closer should play in a baseball tournament and you motherfuckers go dig up old tweets arguing about whether or not my closer should play in a baseball tournament. And you motherfuckers go dig up old tweets and try to paint me as a racist, as you always try to do, and it never works.

Like, I'll never, then I really won't like baseball. I'll still always watch the Mets. I'll never forgive the baseball community for that. Like, do you see that tweet of the one guy this morning who said, if it was 1947, would KFC go watch some ball or would he be the guy shouting at the black guy i know where i'd put my money i was like what what does that mean we're now fabricating a hypothetical situation where i'm watching baseball in 1947 and you think i'm the guy was yelling at the black players what the fuck are you guys talking about? Also, whoever has the bigger crowd, I'll probably go to that one.

I'm a sheep, man. You like him? Yeah, let's go. This is great. Don't say that. This whole community is going to come for you on that one. I could have been a Nazi so easy. I was born just right place, right time.

You would have been so not. He fits right in. What are we doing? All right. All right. I'll be in the back. I don't want to lead. I mean, you guys start it.

I won't jump off the bridge first, but I'll jump eventually. There was some streamer recently, an Asian chick, who just fucking straight up had a swastika on her shirt and didn't know it. She was like, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Well, that was a big... I remember back in the day in Japan, we blogged it. Where hot in Japanese culture was they were selling Hitler dolls. And it was a long time ago. You can pull it up, Pat. They were just selling it like bodegas and corner stores

Like swastika stuff And things like that I mean now if we want to get really specific It was the Hindu sign of peace Yeah that's the thing One of my favorite pictures The old hockey team Canadian hockey team

It's called Nazi Chic Nazi Chic That's funny When was it like like like early 2010s 2016 yeah I remember blogging it was like that's pretty late in the game for that shit yeah you know it's in Japan too right yeah but if you the Japanese like you guys know them pretty intimately I mean I guess they were they were boys. Yeah, you guys are pretty goddamn tight

about 60 years ago. Maybe distance yourself a little bit. I'm trying to find this girl. But the other thing I was going to say was the lookup, I don't know if it was Montreal, it was the Canadian hockey team, Canadian hockey team swastikas. Their name,

and it was pre-1940s, I believe. So they were first on it. But it's just like their team name is the swastikas. Yeah. Windsor. The Windsor swastikas. Yeah. What years was that?

That was from 1905 to 1916. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's like pre-everything. Yeah, right, right, right. Imagine that. You were the swastika's legend. Talk about the worst luck in the world. 1942 rolls around.

You're like, fuck me! You have some fan club that once a year everyone gets together to celebrate the swastikas. All your gear. You're coming up with merch. And all of a sudden you're like, he's using what for his...

The Nazis are? The whole movement? What? You've got to be fucking kidding me, dude. As a little kid i loved watching the the no come on we're good we're good that's actually a funny that's like um we kind of laughed about it with kim jong-un and like how much he loved basketball but like if not if hitler was just like you know what i love a real good hockey game

swastikas i went i went to Windsor, Canada once. I'd love to pay tribute to that. That would be dope if you're really starting a new genocide. Make your logo the American flag. You can't stop me. Come on. You can't stop me. I dare the next genocide.

Fucking use the American flag. That'd be funny. Or maybe we're already doing it. I was going to say, Americans would be like, you know, sorry. Sorry, bud. It's already our idea. All right. Now, breaking into the show, we got breaking news.

The skinhead. Man, you said that one. I didn't even know. You are a liar. I swear to God, I forgot that one up. I didn't even know. You are a liar. I swear to God, I forgot that until you started talking. We're a little behind the curtain. John said, okay, just set up the interview with Dad. Hey, this kid has it.

I swear to God. I'm going to look down the barrel of the camera. I swear to God, that was not my plan when I said that. You are a liar. You are a liar. I swear. Give me a Bible. Get me Mein Kampf.

Oh, my God. It is Paul, Sales Guy, Gaz, Golzinski. He's not going to like that. No. Your lead-in was a skinhead Mein Kampf joke. The Mein Kampf was for me. Let's talk to him I was thinking We ended it so hot

That it's kind of weird To just put it together To be like okay now we have Gaz So I was like we gotta blend it So I was like how am I gonna blend it It's a perfect skinhead segue So I was like, we got to blend it. So I was like, how am I going to blend it? And I went, skinhead! It's a perfect skinhead segue.

Yeah, I was just going to put an ad, but yeah. We could also do that. Nah, we'll add a little buffer. Gaz-O! Reporting in progress. I didn't know what you wanted to talk. I figured you wanted me on air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we got to talk about a couple things. all right we got the the wizard behind the curtain the man

himself barstool's cockroach uh before we get into all the drama show off the shiner paulie show the people dude look at this guy it reminds me of when me and farnoberg fought all those miami university kids that picture of the picture of you two, you look, actually I gotta say this, because by the way, happy belated, the big 4-0, I know you tried to skate by on that, but Gaz is now 40 years old. You do look like exactly the same.

You pulled the right move by shaving it early and just looking like you've looked for like, you'll probably look like this for 20 more years. Yeah, you look great. Yeah, except for the fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went back home for St. Patrick's Day. I know Fleur de Bourgh was up there. And this is the result of it. And the story you're peddling is

you walked into a hatchback? Yeah, my abusive husband story is basically I've come up with my scapegoat as being the hatchback of a SUV that I walked in when i wasn't saying it that but so you walked like into the side of it or head on like what so like you like wrapping around it the hatch was up and i was looking down at my phone it actually didn't

hit my eye it hit above my eye and then just that's how that works that is crazy you bump your head it it it sinks blood sinks to your eyeballs fucking gruesome i went down i went down to the ground my knees buckled right to the i was i was saying that yesterday like you didn't even go down at that miami fight fucking 100 people you were fucking up still yeah this was you it was like ending blindside it didn't even know it was coming so it's your only sign of age, that post-40. You take a shot now. You go down.

I wonder, too, though, if you hit the perfect spot in your brain, if your body just... They picked me up, and I went right back down. No way! I thought I had a concussion. I thought I was knocked out. I was going to say, the spotter's got to get you there. I think that really does mean you

like hit a nerve or something if your legs just stop working for a second that i would have given anything for a video of that just gas crumpling right where he stands and then just like like a fucking puppet on the strings i mean i'm sure like drinking a lot didn't help the situation that's usually i mean mean, like I said, it's 42th birthday, St. Patrick's day, March Madness all one day. That's the perfect storm.

This weekend, your birthday. Yeah. Friday was Thursday, Friday. Are you slowing down at all? Or do you still drink and party? Like as hard as you do,

I'll do like, I'll give you this weekend was a little bit, and it was like 48th. I'm a millionaire now. Back home in Boston. It was like, I'm going a millionaire now back home in boston and it was like i'm gonna hear it all like that in like in miami there's a lot of talk about like oh miami going out like i'll give you a friday saturday like i'm just a weekend warrior like during the week i go to bed at seven o'clock at night eight o'clock at night you you were great yeah i mean i can attest to

that gaz gaz goes to his room for a fucking five days straight and i'll text him at 7 30 i don't hear back till the morning. It's crazy. It's depending on what's going on. Yeah. That's yeah. I usually go to bed pretty early and get up at like six, seven in the morning. Yeah.

All right. Let's get into the, the, the work drama. Um, yeah. Cause you, you are,

this is your dream. This is your masterpiece that you have, uh, you've stumbled upon it, but also orchestrated it a little bit in certain ways um so just give me your overview like give me your one or two sentences on what you feel first off on what's going on here starting with which i mean i feel like i'm in the embroiled in a lot of it so yeah yeah yeah well that's what i mean like so where are you at getting of it if we're starting at the beginning of it and people freaking about freaking out about the

mean girls clips um yeah i people can have whatever their opinions want i guess i look at it more like factory like a lot of people have said that day i didn't jump out and say things but i want to see what everyone's kind of opinions were on it before i i thought about it and i'm like i'm glad you actually reached out to talk about it. Because I think the whole narrative from the social team being like, we just pick favorites or like mean girls gets posted all the time. I actually sent an email out like three weeks ago. And I asked dad, I'm like, how often do we promote everybody from the main accounts? Like, I just, I don't know why I just thought of it. I was like, what are the numbers behind? Who gets the most main account on what platform?

Who is it? And I sent it over to the social team. And I was just like, just FYI, like when we're promoting content, there's two things that I care about. And I just want to reiterate it because we have a lot of new people in there. We have people on TikTok that control it

and they do a great job. But I was like, I don't want, it's easy when it was me and Chuck to be like, it's unbiased. But now we have a lot more people in there and there's relationships in the office. So I wanted to get a grip on it. So they said that they said that over and I sent out the email. I said, the one thing I care about, number one, is like when you see a video, what's getting us the most views, like what's going to get us the most eyeballs?

That's how you should be judging it. Like not about who the person is. The second part of it is there's going to be priorities at the company that are going to come and go. We get a new podcast at Beverly. big investment. We want to come on. We need to grow that. We need to get that started. That's going to get a lot more loves for a while until it gets up and going. And then there's going to be other priorities across the business, whether it's a high-new tequila, like let's push that. That's new stuff. They're always coming and going. And then we're always looking at the numbers. i think we talked like you know during covid like about one minute man and

it's like we gotta bring that back it was like something that always performed every time we did it so always looking at it from that sense um and i said i actually said one thing i don't want is is i don't want to public bias so when i looked at the numbers i looked at them when keegs went on her her rant about it and i'm like i want to see where mean girl actually ranks and i was actually just pulling it up because i knew i figured we were going to talk about this give them the numbers paulie hit people with the straight facts yeah so that's what i did i'm like a numbers guy i just look at it from that perspective so the number one most promoted thing and this is where like i'm going to show i'm putting you i'm giving you the behind the curtain wizard of oz yeah sometimes we talk facts it's gonna it might affect other people

at the company but like i really do look at it from like a there's empty boxes we have 15 slots on instagram what are we filling that up with what's going to benefit barstool the best and those are always going to ship part of my take gets the number one gets gotten this year this is you know today uh number number one pardon my take number two pizza interviews number three jack mac number four sunday conversation number five kfc radio busting with the boys dog walk only stands which i'm sure that's just we're just playing to the lowest common denominator of one who wants slutty content there so that brings us down to like, yeah, the dozen rough and rowdy, which makes sense because when we have those,

we do a lot. One Minute Man, The Yak, 4Play, Pat Bev, Pro Football Show, then you get to Mean Girl. So I was going to say,

yeah, even point blank. Was that even top 10? Let's say 15. No, that's like closer to like, I don't know, 18, 17, somewhere in there. Oh, wow. So, I mean,

that there, I think, I do understand as, closer to like i don't know 18 17 somewhere in there oh wow so i mean that that that it is i think um i do understand as like and everyone's done this before at some point in their career i think i think we probably did it seven years ago at this point and then he kind of just like yeah this is the game right you always complain about everyone always will hit a point where you're like they're up there more than me and then you're like no that's not true no what it is is it's memorable clips yeah exactly so you're like no that's not true no what it is is it's memorable clips yeah exactly so you're remembering those that's the point though those clips are memorable yeah so like i honestly i i think this was boiling uh bubbling amongst the girls or whoever has has a

feeling about mean girls but it it was just the last two weeks it was the dinosaur post and the washing your hands post and then all of a sudden it got characterized as like they've been posting these dumb fucking things they've been posting controversial things they've been posting things i disagree with you can't let your husband jerk off or whatever the fuck they're saying but like the stupid like the idea of like this is not up to barstool standards which i think is funny in general barstool standards we're talking about here that all happened just in like two weeks yeah if it was like the barstool standards is a very bizarre thing this is we are strictly here we're dick jokes and fart jokes and sex jokes like that's it and it's just to fill time between

advertisements like that that is we need to do 24 minutes before we need to read another yeah and i think like you know that's the main that's all of them so like some people get more tiktok like bffs is if you look at just tiktok like bffs is going to get a lot more promo because that's where their audience is talking yeah i wouldn't even post us ever on tiktok oh never mind i do think what happens with mean girl and everyone sees it because everyone freaks out so everyone sees it it's like one of those yes filing things where you see what is getting the most engagement we also we we went through like a sort of similar thing when we a lot of people would be like all you talk about is sex all the questions are just sex all the voicemails are just sex like you you

remember those ones like i remember going through back in the day and i was like we did 10 voicemails you know four were sports four were this and two were sex like it and it's not but you remember those ones because it's salacious or whatever and that is the point though things that get remembered are the things that perform well and that's what you do you could go back to the old barstool the website like i look at it as like mean girls their clips act as like a funnel to get us into seeing up their content like that's just like a hat anything with guess that ass or the smoke show of the day yeah yeah we're always getting clicked that i think people don't recognize either um first of all a lot of people are talking like do these clips actually help those girls and it's like yes definitively yes

they do uh so first of all like that that aside, their podcast probably does better and performs on a high enough level that it justifies some of these clips. Secondly, there's other benefits. Like you said, if you post a Mean Girls clip and the main account ends up getting several thousand new followers or something, there's value in that. People aren't thinking about that. People aren't thinking about the long-term health of a main account social media i didn't think of the hate the people like all that everyone's all negative paid like kevin when you did one minute earlier on like everyone's like that's what i know dude as i really i kind of let the dust settle as you did and i'm like this whole argument has been applied to me and KFC radio all the time.

The content is sophomoric. Answer the internet questions are stupid. It's all about sex. Look at the feedback. So if you apply all that to me, then I'm not Barstool. I shouldn't get posted either. If you let that shit... Kevin has taken it. We've talked about it a couple times. Kevin's taken this very personally.

Kevin's more upset about the mean girls. Well, The other point of what I was thinking about is a lot of people say in our audience, which God bless them, but they'll be like, it's only because they're on the main account that they get views. I sent Dave the screenshot because I wanted him to be aware of the numbers behind it. I don't want to bring up where they stand in our ecosystem because I don't want to be like, this is that. But it's, they're on their own.

Their own accounts are getting, we actually a lot of times, I'd say 85% of the time, I think Chuck said is we take what's going viral in our network and just put more gasoline on it. So it's not necessarily like we we do get the files and we look through them like oh this is funny we think this is good but like mean girl does a really good job of clipping the way that they want to clip it and getting it on their accounts and then they go viral and people say well they only get this on twitter it's like they're not built for twitter they're both for and they're built for youtube shorts or reels or whatever that is so it's a different place and they perform uh well in those places so i think that they i think that i i actually you know what i i would trace the quote-unquote hate back to and i i'll be honest i would dislike it

if i thought it was scripted i think it's very real because i say dumb shit all the time everyone's dumb shit all the time i think it's very real if i thought they were all faking it i wouldn't like it yeah i think it's funny and good work and and all that stuff good for them um but i think their misstep in the office was cutting the francis stuff so i think that we're talking gasoline on a fire that i think that added to the it's all made up shit yeah that was that was not a good move and i still to this day have no idea why they did it, because when I listened back, that was just an awkward interview. It wasn't like, oh, he bodied them. It wasn't like they said something stupid. We're going to have an awkward interview on this episode.

Yeah. Not with Kaz, with a different person. They happen, trust me. Awkward interviews happen. You're about to hear one. But that was a very strange move that, that I w you know, that was, that did not help their perception. Uh, but I, I mean, I remember hearing, uh, you know, they, they went from like zero views last year cause they weren't around to like 500 million views.

And I thought it was, I thought it was the main account too. And then we had, you know, in that meeting you were like, no, that was all just like their pages. So what the fuck? I mean, the proof is that there's a point of like there are people in in the internet and i get a lot of hate clicks and views and they can't translate it into something like they're a very healthy podcast of course so i'm like there's a lot of very funny podcasts that i'm not gonna call it an able like they are their contemporaries in in size and you'd be like that's a genius a very funny podcast the mean girls aren't for

the audience it's the same thing as color daddy in this sense they're never i don't want to say never but they're not going to be car dad like that's a once in a lifetime rocker chip in their wind podcast kind of me that but they are they have an audience they have an audience that buys their merchandise they have an audience that listens to their thing and it's not the core barstool people the same people that hate the car daddy are gonna hate mean girl just they're guys it's a very like they're not equivalent in like size or whatever but they are equivalent in like the this this this is happening and that kind of happened with caller daddy too where like people got jealous in the office and i i i've been jealous of this office a million times anyone anyone who's doing better

than me yeah absolutely it is and I think that's healthy I always I always compare it to a football team at practice when like you're the cornerback and the wide receiver smokes you you're like mother fuck it fuck him but thank god we got him like it's got like it's a healthy competition I think in this case it I think in case, as the office as a whole, I think it certainly went over the line in a healthy competition sense. So that's where I also want to talk to you guys, because I want, it's funny that as I'm hopefully about to start this whole idea of the new office,

the exact opposite of what I want it to be like occurred, in probably the most blunt and like egregious way. I was like, Dave brought up when he smoked Smitty once, when he undressed Smitty with all the facts, when Smitty said he works hard and Dave was just like, no, you don't, no, you don't, no, you don't. But that was like a boss versus an employee. As far as like coworkers, similar level, I don't think there's ever been one more like contentious than this. And I was like, I know this is good for business, but it also creates the tension in the office that like crippled people for a decade. So I would I want to try to not have this shit happen. I do think there is a better way. Unfortunately, we should be able to just not hold everybody's hands and say, here's what the fuck is going on.

Here's what's working. If you want to succeed, be more like this, but also acknowledging that like human nature just is what it is. You have an office full of young people, old people, boys, girls,

successful people, failures, veterans, rookies, all that shit. I can see where if failures hit hard, man, that was fucked.

I don't know. I feel we've uh failed upwards uh yeah but i can see where emails being like be like be like the mean girls be like the mean girls here's what the mean girls did the mean girls were going viral and if you want to go viral you're the mean girls and it's like if you if i and i i also wholeheartedly understand that like it or not there's a difference when it's guy employees you if i and i i also wholeheartedly understand that like it or not there's a difference when it's guy employees and girl employees so that's another little wrinkle here uh that i'm i i told john today i was like as i'm trying to manage all this shit i understand why dave was like just fight i don't fucking care because i don't even know if it's controllable or not but is if is there a way for the social team and the company wide emails and all that shit to be

like you know here's what you should do without being like sucking their dicks and not you know spreading around the love all i don't know i'm not sure i don't know i feel like that puts a target on their back like even like even like i don't know i'm thinking like upsetting other people it's just like it makes you want to hate them yeah yeah that's what i mean like it you know what it becomes it's like it's like teacher's pet it's like this is the best student in the class they got a hundred if you want to be like them you should study it's like well which is crazy that's how it works it's but it is just like a human agent i know you guys have a different perspective because i i'm not they're not my competitor like they're not like people that i

know what i mean so like i look at everything from like like i do i really do look at it with i like everyone at barstool i actually genuinely could say that without a single doubt. Everyone, big ass. Everyone. Come on. You don't think I would like. No,

I, I actually, as a person, I basically do like everyone. I, I think it's weird to assume everyone likes everyone's content. Like you don't have to bash it, but like,

yeah, there's definitely content that I'm like, I don't, but I, I, I look at the numbers and I'm like, I go there. That's where I have to bash it but like totally yeah there's definitely content that i'm like i don't but i i i look at the numbers and i'm like i go there that's where i have to go but to answer your question like yeah it's like so when i set like want to put those emails it's more like actual and it's like take it or leave it like i know i know i'm not god i'm not got it but i i get like there could be jealousy that comes up but i don't get it because i don't get it you know what i mean well that's maybe i i'm i'm just putting this out there for you guys that like it does you you do become like uh you know well like oh they did great they're so great you know and and you're on your side

you're like these are just numbers and i'm just trying to help but there is a level of like now there's you know beef because because if those girls weren't as successful it would probably not have happened but also if it wasn't like it feels like it's mean girls all the time you know and it's like it's not really i don't i don't know if you just come across that way yeah i don't know if you listened to our show when we had keys on but we actually talked about it so much that it went the other way where it seemed like we talked about the mean girls all the time which is like once or twice a year it's like hey the mean girls are crushing on instagram or reels or whatever and but for some reason though that does seem to stick

with everybody yeah it's like i i i don't get why that would upset you i also i mean i know we've done it but a lot of their content lines up with ours where it's like you know you can't watch porn and it's like well we're gonna discuss that and so they come on our show and and so maybe things like that help perpetuate it but you know it's like sometimes i want to be like come into like i like when people fight here but i also don't want people to like this really hate each other yes like so there's all and and we there's always a graying of the line where i feel like and then some people take take it for, like, I don't know it. I actually, when I was talking to people, like, does Keegs fucking really fucking hate her? Because that seems crazy.

But also, I love when Keegs goes ballistic. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Went over to Keegs. Chuck went over to Keegs. He's like, you got to make me a video of that. Like, that blog was great. And we put it up there, and it got millions of views.

Right. So, like, we're all about that. But, like, if people can't coexist, that's where it becomes like a, a place. Like, do you want to work where it's like, that's what I'm trying to like toe the line of like,

I want, I like that too, but it creates, they have beef. And then which side are you on? And then you have beef with people. And it, it's like,

it was great for the first, you know, 15 years. I don't know if we want to do this for fucking ever, you know, like, cause it does weigh on you and it does become a place. it's like it was great for the first you know 15 years i don't know if we want to do this for fucking ever you know like because it does weigh on you and it does become a place that's like you know you're walking on eggshells or you know all that so it's like a fine line between i think that i think the mean girls response being like nobody ever said anything to me privately i feel like there almost needs to be a rule like you you come you talk to the person and then if it doesn't resolve itself or it continues then you can go but we you know we cry about hit pieces all the time you can't then go do them internally you know so well yeah no

that was i mean that was i i thought it was good i think when i look at that overarching like there's a halo effect a lot of people talking about a lot of people going on other shows like there is that you wish you could do duplicate the other way i'm sorry i do feel i haven't been in the mix right like i've been down in florida yeah you and dave you're not in the mix anymore you're just i i you've gone soft the whole like little finger stir in the pot thing which i i do get off on but it but like i hadn't done it and i i did i did railroad my dog yesterday the nate dog like so that's the other side of it this to me is almost more of a important of a discussion than the mean girls thing so yeah you you just threw him right under the bus huh yeah so i i francis so the whole thing and then people on your show i

don't know if they talked about it like francis wrote a blog defending the mean girls and then it didn't go they got an argument on text message about the blog like and and francis said you called me and it was on a phone with me and was like hey like i feel like i'm being like i don't understand why this isn't going up why am i arguing with the editor about like the merits of this blog like it's not gonna get us canceled blah blah blah blah yeah and i'm like yeah that's fucked up if that's actually happening like let me know if it doesn't go go if it doesn't go off like let me know that because i'll i'll carry that flag to the top of the flagpole real i'll go over to my i'll go down the street to dave and be like nathan will post this blog because and i don't understand why it did go up the next morning

i i find out that they're still arguing about it and i was on the phone with david like oh did you hear the drum and he's like oh yeah what he said in his blog like yes kfc uh you know fuddleburg not fuddleburg uh francis had a blog keegs had a blog i thought it was great i'm like oh did you hear like it almost didn't go up and then i'm like what and so? And so that got Dave going and he's like, oh, what? So then I'm on a call with Francis and Nate and they're screaming at each other and I'm screaming at them. And then they got gas. So they got that's an old school gas show right there. Yeah.

And then Dave was like, he was laughing. He wasn't mad. He like he was thought it was funny. It's like it's fucking classic Nate dog. Yes. he wasn't mad he like he was thought it was funny he's like it's fucking classic nate dog yes but i also you know we saw what happened with k marco and that that that whole thing sucked and it you know ruined a good thing that was around for a long time and those texts were why i mean i told this to nate himself i was like those were insane and it's just like you can just see and read all the bias that people have it's's like, if you're going to do it,

just fucking say it with your chest and be like, I don't like these girls. So I don't want that, that blog up because otherwise, you know, these people who are auditing their YouTube numbers and watching and it's like, well,

that was me. Nate's point was, it was always going to go up and it was just how we got there. And I'm like, Nate, but like Nate is like in a position of control of like what Francis's output is like, he might just not post his blog blog so you can't have that in that position yeah and when you're talking you're a poor other people here like that's not good if you're in that

situation like you don't want to be doing that either like i i i can see i i know i like to think i don't know i like to think that in if i was in that position which i never want to be in i'd be like even if i vehemently disagree with something i'd be like it's gonna do numbers put it up but i we're talking about human nature earlier like i can't see human nature too we're like i don't want people to see this side of it because that makes my argument look but that's like but you got it's gotta go it's gotta go i would not want nate's job like i deal with it my side i would say yeah i don't know if you know how to read or not, Gasp, but you would be a good editor-in-chief because you don't like anybody.

You don't hate anybody. You would just look at the numbers. But the reason why editor-in-chief is a prestigious job is because you can't play favorites. You're going to get in fights. You're going to hurt your friends' feelings and all that shit because you got to play it down the middle. That's... All it takes is one thing to go up and you know,

what happened with Keith. That sucks. And to play God over people... But you do it with the social. I do it with you. I'm always like, fucking Gadget's such a pussy. And then I'm like, I know. I get it. Yeah, we've been good about that. But it's a shitty it's a tough position to be in and i don't i would not want to do i i do it and social side of things but yeah it's it's not a great job and

yeah i did i did feel like nate up definitely goes nate dog mode and i don't think he should have done what he was doing to francis but like i don't know i haven't i haven't ran something up to date to fuck with someone in a while. And I'm surprised he didn't care. Like Dave sometimes isn't in the mix. No, that's, that's a, that's an important one. That's like, that's a changing, like the rule book that's changing the foundation of everything. If you, if you're playing, like we decide who can't blog and shit, then what are we, what are we even doing here? know um but okay so so do you

think there is a a way to to go about this or do you think it's just like everyone's got a fucking man up grab their dick grab their pussy read the fucking stats and and like be better yeah i mean i i would i want to give people more information i think there's not a lot of information. I think maybe, you know, Kevin, you work with people and people mentor each other. And I think, but they mentor who are willing to winter people. Maybe they want to mentor. I want to be able to send something out to the whole team. Cause I think there's people down the trough that maybe aren't in the office. They don't have the conversations of people. Does Megan making money know what's working on TikTok versus like, and I think you can take a little bit away from people.

You can also ignore it. Like I want to make it like, all right, opt in. Like an opt into the email. That's a good idea. Maybe like you can opt in if you want to just not be a part of this. Like then that's totally emails opt in, right? I've opted out. I don't because I'm one of those people

where I stray from those kind of things because I think it'll affect how I work. And I don't want to do that. I don't want to change. You also have incredible self-control. And I think that people who worry, did this did this video get enough views or get enough clicks on the blog rather than just worrying about good content? It might be like we're going to hold your hand. You're not you can read this email. That's an update update about social media about like the do's and don'ts so you don't get like shadow banned and then like the next email coming is going to be a list of you know all the

all the stats and if you can't handle that like you don't have to be on the email list i don't know oh but part of me wants to be like you should because it's good for your job but also it's good for you you know like but maybe not maybe your psyche will be fucked up from it and it won't be good for your job so i mean females exist they go to dick hamilton gets it for production and and colleen muller and gets it for social kfc radio and they look through it and i think i always looked at it it's like if i was running those like if i'm biz or wit i want to be like you know why is pardon my take or kfc radio doing like this more than we're like yeah yeah yeah you can do a way like that but and but if you don't know you don't know i mean again make it often and like

people can read it not read it i don't ultimately care i just think if you want to grow it it definitely can help you in some way yeah i guess we're in a position too where we have we're lucky enough to have great producers and social people who do look at that stuff and yeah they just if it if it was on me to do that stuff i probably yeah i probably would look at it feel away and yeah yeah you're just danny jackal by herself like making video like she needs to know this information and if i have to set up a call every week to give her 15 minutes like that's not sustainable across 100 talking creators i i would i maybe there's a way to do it. I don't know. I'm quickly realizing.

I mean, I feel like on the logical fact side of things, I couldn't possibly be more on the mean girl side. And meanwhile, they're mad at me saying that I didn't have their back. I know Keegs is ready to rip my face off. I'm like, there's no winning this battle. So maybe, I don't know, yell at each other. I got a fence post nice and firmly up my ass right now i wish i mean i i everyone makes a decision how they handle things i i was

talking to the girls yesterday and i was like you're gonna actually have this out like the dave portnoy show would be like having those they did they i was on the rundown yesterday and they were invited to be on the rundown uh for the after show and they declined which that's surprised i know they're newer to the game and stuff like that but that that was their first thing the first thing really the whole thing where i was like that's a misstep i would have come on i i i said my piece and i was like i think you should respond because a it's an opportunity i was like it'll probably be your most viewed podcast or whatever you do like uh and b like you're you're in in the barstool zeitgeist enough that i think like you got to reply but you know if if their viewpoint is like

this is catty bullshit that is like i don't want to do that like you know it is it is funny the position podcast the position we've gotten to where like, I remember back in the day, one time watching a video, it was, it was Kaepernick, but it was before Kaepernick was known for what he's known for. Now is when he was a quarterback. And it was like a breakdown of how ESPN creates news. And it's like,

it was like, Jaws said that Kaepernick has the skills to be the best quarterback all the time. And then it went on fucking, um, not part of my take first take. And they debated that. And then it went on fucking, um, not part of my take first take. And they debated that. And then it became a news story.

So it was on ES on sports center. And it's like, look what they fucking do. It's like, and I was like, yeah, fuck ESPN. Just making their own news.

Just, just set up their own broadcasting. Here we are on fucking Thursday. But I will say the people who think it's fake, it's, it's just, it's just not like, you know what if i if i just did a podcast tomorrow and i and i was just like uh you know the moon's not real it's you know

the earth is flat it's like you you can tell i'm just lying and and it when it comes across genuine it makes people either go holy shit that's fucking dumb or someone's listening going oh fuck i didn't know that answer too you know 85 percent of their show is like and the whole thing is i think it's just a couple of girls sitting around in a sorority dorm like me feidelberg and you would sit in a frat house just saying stupid shit yeah it's normal then you say something stupid and like that's the part they get clipped out and and it is it factors in that they're you know two pretty girls and because like guys because dumb girls yeah like i mean we we have said dumber shit the exact same dumb shit as them and no one really fucking cares

no one here cares no one on the internet cares if a guy who looks like me says he doesn't wash his hands no one fucking gives a shit so yeah he's an animal what do you think they're reading answer the internet questions and for keegs like every time she goes on ballistic i will post it so she's looking yeah yeah reasons like like that should be her brand like be a fucking pitbull uh but yeah but she can't fake it she won't fake like the authenticity like she goes at like she does it when it's natural and what it calls she She can't fake the rage. Remember when we first moved to New York and PFT was the Barstool ombudsman for a bit?

We should make Keegs. Keegs got a new position. Or like the weekly power rankings from Keegs. Totally biased though. Not based on fact or anything at all. I fucking like her. She cooks up her witch's brew and then fucking fires it off

i'd read it i'd read it every time and i'd be like either hell yeah or i'd be like oof i'm scared to disagree i'd never be against it though uh all right gazzo anything else says the uh the the you know head of social media no i mean yeah it's the head of social media i'm not even really i'm actually real quick before you go i we had a discussion not too long ago where i was like let's almost use the podcast as a jam session where we just start riffing to to end up having two or three really good clips rather than like hope it happens let's try to like manufacture it a little bit and then i very quickly like within a couple weeks i was like i don't want to be like a slave to this algorithm because who knows if they change the rules or whatever let's just keep making good content

and those clips will come but um yeah good got that but but um but i don't know that's another thing i think we need to maybe work on is like, you got to play by the rules, but also like, we can't just be like, do what Instagram says all the time, because that's what Michael Zuckerberg wants. Cause it's like,

who knows if that's actually good content. Well, I think that you guys have done a great job of creating that content. And maybe it's not always in the podcast form, right? But answer the internet is one of those things that is a social first video that's going to go cross your video views one minute man another one that's like just built for social media you went you went gone oh sorry you're going you're

back but you've created you guys have created different types of forms of content some of them are long form where people like that i think there's some people that just do long form here and just do short form and they're missing out on the opposite so i wouldn't it's not a one-size-fits-all like we talk about right now everyone's short form like you can do that um and it's gonna work but it may not be like that six months from now i may come back and be like we got to go back the other way right we have right it just keeps changing we've always joked about that with like how, like, I mean, it was probably six years ago at this point when we did like a

presentation, like we should be on YouTube. And, and I don't know if you were in that meeting or not, but, and people watching were like, no. And it was a dumb,

and it was a, it was a dumb decision not to jump on there at that point. I think people were worried about like barstool sports.com yeah no and we when we say it we always add the caveat that like we were paying other bills and there's different things this was short-sighted for sure yeah yeah totally all right good shit yeah we'll have to we'll have to do this again sometime and talk about what i actually do here at barstool sports and maybe they you know that kind of thing next time you're in the office we're gonna have you for the monday. Next time you're in the office, we'll do a Monday episode.

You said you're back April 17th, right? I will be in the office on Monday, April 17th. Okay, so that week you'll get your moment to shine. We'll see. I'll see. Yeah, we're going to bring you into content and then you'll understand all this shit. No, I've always tried to be, make content, create content, but never be on camera, be behind the camera

It's fucking Littlefinger, I know I've said this before on Twitter But like you have Left a legacy that Pat has really grabbed onto Pat Is the Littlefinger in the office now It makes sense, the fucking tall

He loves to stir It was by osmosis. He just used to sit next to me for like three years. So it's like he's got a thick hole up. All right, guys. Later. Yeah. There you have it with gas.

You know, for all the people who want to take sides, you can do whatever you want. But also there's the numbers behind and the facts behind the whole situation as well. It is a tough situation as just a person here. When you're like, I don't know. I like everyone involved. Because people do expect you to take sides. It's like, I don't know. I see everyone's side, and I like everyone.

Yeah, so get out of it. And just don't get mad at me. What do I have to say that you don't get mad at me? Well, this is your perfect time to shine. You should go over to Keegs and be like, these fucking bitches are dumb. Turn around and be like, you guys are great. No, because everyone talks to everyone about everything. So I don't talk to anyone about anything anymore.

The more and more, like, I'm already discouraged from the vision I want to try to achieve. I'm like, this is an absolutely fruitless task. There's no way I can achieve this. In order to achieve this, we have to implement one rule. No one's allowed to talk to each other. Yeah, for real. That's like the only way to do it. That's how we got here.

Again, I don't know how to do it with girls because girls always hate each other. But I think when people have more off-camera and even sometimes on-camera talk and interaction, you're much less likely to actually hate them or be jealous of them. I think even on-camera. You have a good podcast together and it's like – This is one of those weird things where humans sit down together. You go, we're just people. Right. It's like, oh, you know what?

They do deserve the numbers that they're doing. Or like, oh, I get where she's coming from, that like the sales – the social team is always talking about us and like it puts a bullseye on her back. I don't know. Whatever. It's like you would – I've done it a million times myself. There have been people I've been jealous of, people I've hated inside and outside of Barstool and then I –

You just create a voodoo doll at home. Go home and stab it a few times. And then I talk to them and I'm like, oh, all right. I'm still jealous or I'm still – I don't love it but I'm like, all right. I'm not going to like hold them personally responsible or whatever. It just is what it is it is like I was home a few weeks ago and I was getting so mad at my family just because

like I was trying to watch TV and they have an open floor plan I'm so I hate open floor plans I'm going to strangle every architect in the world every door every room should have a door you can fucking close the world out and like people get in the kitchen like doing dishes Or putting dishes away

And I was sitting there like You goddamn motherfuckers And then I was like Like you can't get mad at people for just existing And it's just like It's who that person is And it's fucking I'm gonna get mad at you for buying this house

I'm in the asshole Let's get into it Real quick before Colleen has one um i've got i've got a fun one this is this i mean no malice by this but um am i the asshole if uh if i'm a podcaster comedian and i do a uh new york city media tour and I cry on every single podcast appearance I go on. Burt Greischer, what's going on? Is Burt going through menopause? He cried on

Flagrant 2, DeStefano, and Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. He came to New York for a week. I'm assuming did probably maybe a couple others. Did he do garbage? Did garbage. Maybe a couple of the other girls, the New York girls. Let's say he did maybe six so let's go 50 he was crying he was weeping on matt and chain i i can't i i've seen

clips around i can't watch i can't watch it's not bro i just i get very uncomfortable watching people cry uh be in the room or video think of a less, like the last person equipped to handle a dishing. He was like. I mean, I might be number two. I remember when I went on radio after my life blew up and I didn't expect to get emotional, but I did. And Dave was just like, I finished my piece and he was kind of like, I'm wildly uncomfortable. I didn't expect the crying. And now that it's happening, I don't want to be here.

What was crazy with Bert was – What episode are we on, by the way? KFC Radio. Number? Yeah. So the system that tracks it lost track a long time ago. We had to get – That's –

Like 1,500 maybe. 1,500? 1, 1500 maybe? 1500? Maybe. Because you guys were doing quickies for a while. So, like, those get added into it. It's like... Where do you think we were at? I wouldn't... I thought we did episode 100 recently. No. We did episode 100 recently, then? We do 150 episodes

a year. We did episode 100 at Saloon. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. I would have thought we were at more. My point is, if Bert's going three for six i'm about one for 1500 maybe two was in there somewhere so wild i i didn't i didn't i was just like half listening to matt and shane so i didn't know like what led into it but it was the end of the podcast and bert just decided to relay a dream that he had and the dream was like him and Jenny Mullen and Jason Biggs

and like their baby was there and somebody committed suicide and Burt was in heaven and like needed to let them know like oh no no you killed yourself like that's your family they're they're without you or whatever it was and he's like so then I had to tell Jenny

he laughs like he cries so he's like squeaking and then he was like, so then Jenny, I had to tell Jenny. He laughs like he cries. He's like squeaking. And then he was like, okay. So that was my dream. And they were like, that's a good time to wrap up, I guess. It was just so fucking insane at the very, very end. And then he, I don't know why he cried in Flager 2. I didn't see that. But on DeStefano, they wrapped it up.

It was probably different reasons. It was the same story? Yeah, all three of them were different. I know that Schultz shocked him with a clown. And I know he has a deep fear of clowns. So that might have made him like, he didn't cry at the clown, but he was like, definitely. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what ended up making him cry on that.

Then on DeStefano, they were wrapping up. And they were like, good podcast, baby. Love you. Like, hey, we didn't cry like last time. Because remember last time the two were sobbing? Yeah. And they were like, yeah, like no tears this time. Chris is like, you know, I'll see you guys at like the Hulu Theater.

And Bert's like, Hulu? You did the Hulu Theater? And he was like, yeah, man, I did Radio City. Sold it out in nine days. I pulled a Bert Kreischer. I he was like Yeah man I did Radio City Sold it out in nine days I pulled a Burt Kreischer I sold it like Just like you did And he was like

I'm gonna start crying again It was like I'm so proud That was a good cry That's a good cry Yeah yeah yeah It was like a genuine Like I'm happy for my

That reminds me In 30 Rock there's a Also that would be Like normally that would be like Dude I'm happy for you You know He's clearly on some Emotional rollercoaster

Swear to God Burt's going through menopause. I just remember Flagrant was similar where he was talking about his life and how he's like, I shouldn't have any of this. And I've gotten with the coolest life. He's a very grateful and genuine dude. He's very appreciative of everything. I'm joking and I actually think it's very cool that he can be the funniest dude and

then also open up and laugh and cry and it's so all good. But when it's like, I mean, you gotta hear Gillis. It was so funny. Matt goes, I was gonna try to throw a joke in there and then I realized it would be the most inappropriate thing ever. So I just kept letting you go. What's happening here? The DeStefano cry reminds me of

episode 30 Rock when Don Geis, who's the CEO of GE, tells Jack Donaghy that he's gonna get the... He's retiring. You're gonna become the new CEO of GE, tells Jack Donaghy that he's retiring. You're going to become a new CEO of GE. And Jack starts crying. And Don Geis, I don't know the actor's name. He's the guy who plays in Dodgeball, the guy in the wheelchair.

Rip Torn? No. Is it Rip Torn? Yeah. But he's like, Dodgeball, I'm going to drink my own piss, that guy, whatever his name is. And he's got that gravelly voice you get one cry in life you chose right and the step in the one reminded me of that that's a good cry you chose right there

I mean when can you really cry when do you think it's acceptable to cry my crying is I could cry right now. Totally. But when would you cry and be like, yeah, I fucking cried versus like, oh yeah, that was all crazy. I don't know. Remember when I cried during the, you weren't here for it.

When did you cry? On air? Yeah, but I was trying to cry and I cried really fast. It was during the blade bet. Remember I did like, I did like a... Oh yeah, you got there quick. I got there so... It was the blade bet.

I was doing an ad to not... You couldn't hear it kind of deal. You started crying? I got there, the whole room was like, what the fuck was that? Kev, you did it once during the goddamn Jets when you were doing therapy for the Jets. I do remember that. Dude, that was two days before your car broke.

I was at my breaking point. It was there. I do remember like, okay, I can cry. I remember when everyone was like, what the fuck? I don't know if I said that out loud, but in my head, it was like when Mark Ruffalo in the Avengers is like, that's my secret. Everyone wants to know how I turn into the Hulk. My secret is I'm always mad.

You know how I cry? See, my secret is I'm always sad. It does sometimes feel like you're plugging up a dam with your finger. I could easily just let this shit overflow right fucking now. Mental health matters! Who's got to know about the asshole? Colleen, what do you got for us? Oh, right fucking now. Mental health matters! Okay. Who's got to know about the asshole? Colleen, what do you got for us?

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enter your email, and click and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Okay, so I got into a conversation this weekend with somebody at a bar, just a friend who had a few drinks in her, so she was letting loose. But I just met her. We started talking about – You threw that friend tag around pretty quick, huh?

Yeah. Friends. Acquaintance or friends? Acquaintance. Just met her. So we were talking about college, and she asked me if i was in a sorority so i started talking to her about it and she was telling me about how there was this one girl at her college who just like absolutely despised her pretty much like hooked up with every guy she

hooked up with and just went after just went after her it was a small school so essentially i'll pose the question as am i the asshole for spreading a rumor that somebody has chlamydia because they're hooking up with all the guys i've hooked up with so she went around and told those guys that this girl had chlamydia before or after after and so the girl didn't stop. So she's telling all these guys that she has chlamydia, but then she went ahead and texted the girl, hey, just so you know, there's a rumor going around that you have chlamydia. But this is the girl spreading it. Yeah, but it was the girl spreading it.

So she warned her over text, and the girl was like, thank you for letting me know, whatever. So these girls are in the same sorority the girl who's spreading the rumor and also texted her gets pulled into standards which is like the like they get you in trouble in a sorority essentially and they're like hey we heard you're spreading a rumor that blah blah has chlamydia like what's going on she goes no i'm the one who told her that the rumor is being spread like look I have these texts so she like

one spread the rumor covered her ass and like did it work did she get I mean you know about it now but like

did people like not think it was her I think yeah she said that yeah she got away with it so

and this girl is telling you this story like proud so proud and I was like I was like do you mind if I use this story?

And she was like, go for it. And I was like, are you? Yeah. I mean, no. Diabolical and brilliant, but absolutely psychotic. Girls, I'm stereotyping because guys, I'm sure will do it too, but girls are thinking like so many steps ahead. We're like, you can't, like this is why I think guys just get like dominated by girls in relationships when it comes to stuff.

Because I'm not even thinking like, oh, maybe she faked that text message. Maybe she set this up with a fake blah, blah, blah. Like I'm always just like, I don't know. Did somebody say it or not? Like surface level and girls are like three, four, five steps ahead. That is, I mean, that's a great move. If you're ever going to lie about someone is to then be the, you know, it's almost like whoever smelt it, dealt it, whoever denied it, supplied it sort of thing. You saying I just farted?

But you did fart earlier, right? I've been farting. One time I was like, this smells so bad. This one, I'm not smelling this one. The one about like when we, I think when we were restarting, I was like, this smells so bad. Go ahead. This one, I'm not smelling this one. The one about when we were restarting, I was like, God damn it. God damn it, does it smell bad here. That is funny timing. I didn't smell it.

I was like, he's talking about me right now. Whoever smelled it, dealt it over, denied, supplied it, whoever admitted it and raised their hand and said it on the podcast did it bro i farted on the street they were gonna get to that in a second the the am i the asshole but i farted on the street today and i i had headphones in i was walking i love farting loud in public if you were the girl in the black leather dress on 14th street today was she behind you she's behind me and bro She hit the afterburners Zooming by me You think she heard it or smelt it? You really think she felt it?

I smelt it and she went Right by me Now I had just gotten out of my apartment Was she slowly walking behind you? I had just gotten out I had just entered the stream So I don't know if she was walking at that pace already. But I farted, again, headphones in, I was like...

I have no idea. I'm telling you, there's something freeing about that. It also is your headphones. I know the hustle and bustle of the city will probably cover you up, but if you have headphones in and you can't hear it, it's almost like if I can't see you, I'm'm invisible sort of thing that's why farting in airports are the best i fart in airports all the time everyone's got headphones in the acoustics aren't it's not going to reverberate i got my headphones in no one's walking on the airport that which is with

ears i'm just fucking farting and if it smells like you'd be like i don't know it's airport smells yeah it's that guy over there but when you when you truly like you really come to realize how loud and funny farts are when you purposely let it rip yeah because 99% of the time you're either fully holding it in or you're you know you're you know you're just managing it when you just are walking and going just letting it out they're fucking so loud this podcast truly is therapy because if i didn't talk about it right now that would have like that would have been like that would have eaten to me for for weeks oh fuck dude it was probably farted in her black dress it was so bad it wasn't black dress i meant like a duster she's like a black

whatever she farted it um but she uh it got it was it was i i was so self-conscious about it that i was getting to the street and we were crossing we were crossing and there was the traffic was going so i didn't want to get back up next to her yeah so i knelt down and tied my shoes untied and retied like they're not even i just pretended tell me that you went like this with your hands oh yeah no way well if she turned around she'd be like watch this part on his knees behind me you just that one just took you out you just fucking kneeled down and wiggled your fingers on top of your Birkenstocks. I filled with light turned white. That gave her a head start and I fucking crossed it. The only thing that compares that I do and always have done and probably always will do is if I'm walking the wrong way and I pretend to fake a phone call.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To this day, if I walk the wrong direction, I'll go, oh, it's actually south? Okay, okay. I don't do that. I just acknowledge it where I go. Yeah, yeah. I throw my hands up. I'll do something like that? Okay, okay. I don't do that. I just acknowledge it where I go. Yeah, yeah. I throw my hands up. I do something like that.

Like, oh, oh. In case you know how everyone's watching me. Right. So they know that I know I look dumb. But that, faking laces, is the special one. That's real fucking funny. That is the ultimate Truman Show narcissism type shit, too, though. It's like you think that everybody can hear your farts or is worried about you?

Yeah, she's probably just – she's a tall, pretty girl I guess. She walks faster than your slow ass. She's probably a model because she was a taller girl who was dressed nicely and she's probably just walking. New York, that's a model. I'm happy the – I got enough texts from people about the butt hair that i was like i could rest assured that it wasn't just like a few of us weirdos yeah i'm not saying you're weird i was just being i'm jealous i haven't as an app our tiktok's divided tiktok like the comments are very funny it's very much like absolutely and then know what the fuck are you talking about i find hard to believe it's

like what as i said i've had the wrapped around a penis. Right. So it's just like, it just moves in your ass, you know? I saw the discussion go further with girls saying that they like it. They were like, oh, sometimes it's like, like you pull it and it's like, ah. Like, God damn. I probably wouldn't notice this because my fingers in my ass my whole shower.

What? Oh man I don't know Whatever I'm just fucking crazy Drinking the chlamydia Are you cleaning your ass To get in there? No I'm kidding No my fingers

Never in my ass I was just joking I couldn't pull a hair out Not never We haven't pull a hair out. I was listening to... Not never. We haven't been a couple weeks, so this is good to bring up now. But I was listening to the Legion of Skanks,

I think on Bert's show, and they were talking about... Bert told that story where he wiped his ass with his own hand. He just one time in that toilet paper, he just wiped his hand. That's animalistic. I I was like that is fucking carnage that is pure human carnage

but they all started talking about that and I think Big J said he's like I have the cleanest asshole in the world he goes like you will never catch me with like a shitty asshole he goes every shower I soap it up I scrub it and I put soap and I finger fuck my asshole.

It's just like – think about this guy farting out bubbles. There's got to be some soap that gets stuck in there. This chlamydia chick though, man. First of all – You know what it reminds me of? What do you go first of all? I just – I know from my dabbling in the law a little bit, bird law of slander and libel and shit, there's three things that you can't lie about that you will get fucked legally.

One is you can't say that someone's a murderer, that they committed, that they killed somebody. I mean, there's other things you can lie about, but these are the three big ones. Two is you can't say that someone had sex with someone. Okay. Sexual activity. And three is STDs. You can't tell people they have STDs. You can't say that people have STDs.

So this bitch is literally committing a libel, slander, whichever one is spoken. It reminds me of the court case in Massachusetts. I wish I could cite it. That would be super weird. But it's famous. First of all, it happened in my, like, not my hometown, but around where I'm from. But it is the Hulu special.

There is a Hulu on it. TV show starring. Oh, the Boston. Is it new? No, not new. Oh, I got to watch that. I'm going to watch it tonight. Boston Triangle.

Yeah, that's a true story. But no, this happened in Plainville which is next to Fall River and it's called The Girl from Plainville is the Hulu show it stars

it's got a star the woman who plays the girl is a star is an actress and she convinced her boyfriend to commit suicide oh yeah yeah yeah

yeah and that but she also like set up things to be like she was the hero in the story as well. She's a psycho. That's like the mom in Michigan who texted her daughter like 10,000 times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the whole time was like, you know who it is? It's that girl Susan.

Right. Pitting on other people. To do something like that. It really is so diabolical that it's like I'm like, you know, sometimes I felt stupid for some of my missteps and getting played and being involved in dumb shit. And I'm like, I was a victim. I was a victim of multiple nefarious plots that I was not mentally or emotionally capable of even coming close to fighting back. Like, I was in so over my head.

You realize just like, it is one of those things when you realize something like this is happening to you and you're like, you're angry, obviously, and there's a sense of betrayal to it, but then you're like, how much do

you try every day? Don't you just wake up, go do what you have to do, go back to bed? How much effort are you putting into every day? Like, don't you just wake up, go do what you have to do, go back to bed? How much effort are you putting into every day? You wake up being like, okay, like part, like we're into phase four of this plan,

you know, like fucking Marvel calendars. Like, okay, I've already established, like I've already harassed him on text and now we're going to like threaten his family and today is the day where like I show up at his work or something, Whatever it is. What the fuck? Bro, you have the next six months planned out.

When I ask what you want for dinner, how are you not ready? Seriously. The coordinated attacks are just – It's haunting to hear stories of it, but they're like – It is an all-too-common thing where you're like, yo, this girl was plotting and deceiving. It's some catch me if you can shit. Go work for the government and use

your powers for good. And the annoying part is like, she's like, tell everybody. She's getting that government name. But also, dude, if I was a frat guy, what's a girl comedian look like? Stopping me, bro. Fucking roll up with my Z-packs and some Zima and I'm good Medain. But also, dude, if I was a frat guy, what's the girl chlamydia look like? Chlamydia ain't stopping me, bro.

Fucking roll up with my Z-Packs and some Xena and I'm good to go. Done. Like, not even an issue. Dude, fucking. Chlamydia, I probably have chlamydia right now. The frat boys were probably like, yeah, I have it too. I'd show up like a fucking soldier in war who's got all the fucking gauze and stuff on. I'm like, I'm planning to get shot.

I'm doing this for my gun. I'm doing this because I have a calling. Okay? Does it make any impact or sense to say it after the fact, by the way? Like, that guy goes and gets tested or something, and it's like... Yeah, after the fact. I've been told after the fact I have an STD didn't even blink

didn't even consider I was like alright I'll go to the clinic I guess like chlamydia it's like I don't know I'll wait and see guys can dodge bullets a lot it's a lot easier for girls if you were like after sex you're either gonna have

chlamydia or she's gonna bite your lip so hard it's like swollen and it's going to be a nuisance to eat. Take the chlamydia. Give me the chlamydia. I don't fucking want to deal with that shit. I got a fat lip and it's like kind of sore and I'm always playing with it. That shit lasts for days, man. That's half a week of a nuisance. Fucking Z-Pack.

I'm going out to get lunch anyway. I might as well pop by the fucking CVS. I actually don't think I've ever had an STD. I don't think so either. I know. I really don't think so. That did not sound convincing. It didn't sound convincing

because I was thinking as I was talking. Didn't you have that one doctor that said you can't get chlamydia? Sure, yeah. But I thought don't think so. That did not sound convincing. It didn't sound convincing because I was thinking as I was talking. Didn't you have that one doctor that said you can't get chlamydia? Sure, yeah. But that was – I thought I had herpes. But you didn't. I did not have herpes. I don't think I ever had either.

Definitely had moments where things like hurt afterwards or something like that. But I've never had like – I've had a million – I've had what I – I've never had to grow on my dick. I've never – Like the way DeStefano talks about warts on it like i know comedy is exaggerated what's wrong i've had um i've had what i've recently learned like i've had a billion utis that and guess what ladies stop complaining it's fucking you take an Advil and you're fine.

It is. Just pee a little bit, it goes away. Dude, like, it's... Like, if... Because I've had... I've gotten UTIs from jerking off, dude. That is just the social cliff. That's for sure the cold one. Write that down.

If a UTI is what I think a UTI is, when like after you ejaculate, after you cum, you kind of have that sensation where you have to pee. You feel like you have to pee, but you don't have to pee. I don't think that's it.

I think it hurts significantly. So it wasn't a doctor who told me. But it hurts, and it feels like you have to pee, but you go and I just stand over the toilet, and I'm like, feels like you have to pee, but you go, and I just stand over the toilet, and I'm like, I don't have to pee, but it fucking hurts a little bit. But I feel like a pee would make it feel better. And then I just kind of stand there, and I'm like, well, I guess it's going to hurt for a little while.

And I just go about my life. That's happened to me a billion times. I don't know if that is... It usually happens when I'm either having drunk sex or masturbation. Yeah, yeah well a billion times you know what i'm talking about now and that that's a uti a hundred percent that's yeah yeah yeah bro i have uti's all the time dude i i rarely have sober sex so i have a uti almost wait but you get UTI, I guess actually jerking off, your hands are dirty, maybe it's

almost like even worse. You're putting more bacteria and stuff. I don't know, man. I just know it hurts and I feel like I got to piss and I don't have to piss, so I just go back to being in pain. Yeah. And sometimes I push like right above the dick bone there. It's almost like I'm trying to push something out.

I don't know about- If that's a UTIi your boy's the king no no no you should just have a drink or you have some girls have it they they have to drink like gallons of fucking uh cranberry juice yeah you haven't you guys tried beer is that a is that a real thing by the way like there's a microphone that seems like a before and uh uh old wives tale but is there a before and after like it was hurting I drank the cranberry juice and now I'm good

no it's like myth it makes it feel better briefly but like they all do there's gotta be like a shred of proof behind it because like something I don't honestly know what it is all I know is that whatever you feel does not compare to shampoo up your dick.

Oh, yeah. That is – because then when you pee that out – if you've ever just come and get soap up your dick and then you have to pee, so it's this unholy alliance, the fatal three-way of cum, soap, and pee, the feeling coming out of your dick is like it's like a medicine ball with spikes coming out. What? It's just like

you know when you're like, I'm going to say shit I don't want to say. I was waiting for it and then you didn't. I was like, come on, go. Leave me out to dry here. I remember being like I was at, come on, go. I remember. Leave me out to dry here. I remember being like, I was at the age of exploration. When you were still jerking off upside down? No, no.

It was a little past that. It's when I was looking at my own asshole. Remember when I, at my grandfather's house up in the attic? Sadly, yes. Yeah, okay. For those who don't know, you put a fucking mirror on the ground. No, no. It was one of those sliding doors.

Right, right, right. Not on the ground. Behind him. And you just bent sliding doors right right right not on the ground behind him and just bent over spread your cheeks looked underneath his legs and it was it was the same kind of mirror that like you pull it like this and you lift your legs up and it looks like you're pretty lifting both legs up it was really the greatest juxtaposition of so i was living in my grandfather's house for a while we were putting the dish on our house and uh like i i became again i was in the age of exploration. So I, like, became a man, like, in that setting where I started. The trip started. It was a few months, maybe a couple weeks, whatever it was.

And at the beginning of it, I was the kind of kid who would pull the mirror close, like a sliding glass door for a closet. And I'd pull it to my chest and I would lift my legs up and it looked like I had both legs in the air and i'd laugh and i'm like and by the end i was bending over looking at my own ass so i did a lot of growing up in those few months wait why are we even talking about this because in this same time let's call let's say i was 11 12 whatever i was in this same time period i remember being in the shower and I'm a kind of kid that's looking at his own butt I'm fucking trying

I'm everything's fucking I'm horned up all the time I'm in the shower not much has changed and I'm looking at a shampoo bottle again I'm like 11, 12

so my dick's grown a little bit since but I'm looking at the shampoo bottle and I'm like what a lotion there I wonder if I could fuck that. Everybody's trying to fuck shampoo bottles. So I popped the top off it, and I went to dip it in,

and not to brag, my dick didn't even fit the shampoo bottle at all. That was when I learned that I have no depth perception or whatever. I was like, this is not even close. I thought a dick was like a rat. You could just squeeze in it. Like the Santa Claus, when they don't have a chimney and he goes down the little pipe. Luckily, I was already hard.

Because if I put it in soft and it fit, you're going downstairs telling your grandpa with one hand. Just walking through and the shampoo bottle just bouncing. The fucking head and shoulders is stuck to my penis and balls. The fucking head and shoulders is stuck to my penis and balls. It was head and shoulders?

It was head and shoulders. I remember. Don't ever do that. I went to check it in, and I was like, and I went, huh, it doesn't fit. Went back to soaping, whatever I was doing, and it was a delayed response. And then all of a sudden it was like, oh god oh my god oh my god oh my god his head and shoulders like medicaid yeah that's really bad it was i don't even know what that pain that was my first uti i mean listen i'm telling you you had the your dick was clean as

a whistle baby have you ever thought about that it's like like i've definitely been like going to bed and i'm like hang on i gotta like let me just pee real quick so I can enjoy sex because I gotta pee and it's like it's gotta be some they start blowing you like right then and there oh yeah

there's some pee in there the dick does a really good job of like getting it all out and then like cutting it off it's like a submarine yeah

there are no leaks here no leaks here they have that one room they go into and then they drain that room out. Right, right. And then it's like – The two door –

And you get into the driver. Yeah, yeah. It's like a two-factor authentication. You said it recently, the mudroom. The mudroom, yeah. The mudroom is the best. The best fucking analogy ever. But I don't even know what we're talking about.

Anyway, UTIs, bacteria. Yeah, I got a bunch of UTIs. Anyway, Jackie's in a helmet. How's life, Jack? It would be better if I wasn't in a helmet. So you have a date potentially on the books? Yeah, I do.

So as this airs, it'll be Thursday, so it'll be tonight. Yeah, tonight. Tonight you're supposed to go on this date. I'm doing it. And if you do it, it will exonerate you or whatever you want to call it. Like your punishment will be over. It is a shame that we're going to miss a weekend. No, no, no, no, no.

It's fine. I think that going on this date is going to be it's equivalent to a weekend because I'm going out strange how about this you'd be like you'd be the hit of the ball maybe I'll

maybe I'll up the ante but people would get drunk and start hitting you they would start hitting me how about this let me everyone keeps trying to tap me it's so demeaning

she goes it's so demeaning so disrespectful I didn't hear your answer she went that is so disrespectful what if okay your punishment I can't change the terms I just went, pat, pat, pat. She's like, that is so disrespectful. What if,

okay, your punishment, I can't change the terms now, but having the weekend is a good idea. So what if there's a reward for if you wear it on the weekend? I'll give you some money

or something. Suck. I can do dumb shit like this now. How much money are you talking I almost negotiated so I have to wear it at the bar yeah I don't know

Saturday night I guess maybe I don't know what numbers you're thinking around but like if I was 23 years old I I'd be like, pay my bar tab. Yeah. Obviously, you have leverage here right now. Pay your bar tab. I'm not even good at like – but I don't know. I don't know.

You want to think on it? Come back with an answer? No, no, no. Let's decide right now. I want – She's smart. Can't let him get up from the table. I want bar tab plus

bar tab for both nights. Sold. Done. What? Wait. Hold on. You botched that. That's a botched job right there. That was a binding. That was the gavel. That was the gavel hitting the thing. So that was Kramer with the

Lifetime Coffee right there. I knew something stupid was coming. I gotta just say, accept it as soon as possible. I will pay your bar tab both nights. What number were you at? I would have given her like 500 bucks. Wait, wait, wait. I want to renegotiate.

Bar tab both nights plus 400 bucks. Just trying to get the 500 bucks down. Just ring up. Just fucking have a night and ring up that bar bill. Yeah, but like I should have just gotten money. What were you at? Were you at higher or lower? I was higher.

I was like 1,000. Yeah. I was thinking 1,000 maybe could be a group effort for Jackie to wear a fucking. Maybe we should just have dumb shit like this. If you ever need to make a few extra bucks, she's like, I'll do something dumb for the weekend. Make good content out of it. Like you come in and you open up like a fucking closet and there's a helmet and like a dumb like thing on your nose it's like if you wear any of this stuff out and you film it i'll get money my social status is just good like slowly

if you go out barefoot i'll give you a few hundred bucks oh wait like whatever i keep having dreams i have going out barefoot that's weird that you say that see because we're in the matrix or whatever i have bad news for me, good news for Jackie. Now that we're talking about money, I owe Jackie money. What is your Venmo? You don't owe me money. Yes, I do. Why do you owe me money?

I owe Jackie money because we told her we were going to give her money before and I didn't. This is like months ago. This is on you. I forgot about this. What? Like fucking survivor money. Survivor? Yeah. Oh, I don't care. No, that's fine. No, it's done. No, it's done. What? Like fucking survivor money.

I don't care. No, that's fine. No, it's done. No, it's not done. No, she has to do the helmet. Okay, do the helmet all weekend. I will pay you your money. Wow. God, you have to do that because that's worth it. And I get the bar tab covered? Yes. Yes. I will reimburse you for the bar tab.

But now this is fucked up because I was already going to get the money. Yeah, you were. Your window closed. We're just like fucking walking all over. Negotiate it. No, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. You said no. I won't give you a chance.

No, but I don't know how to negotiate. I'm going to forget again, so I'm going to give it to you now, but you have to go for the weekend. Fuck. Do I have to? Okay to negotiate. I'm going to forget again, so I'm going to give it to you now, but you have to go for the weekend. Fuck. Okay, fine. She won't do it. I mean, I will. I trust Jackie. Like, at this point, I don't know.

I can't guarantee you it will be on for the whole night, but there will be moments when I have a helmet at the bar and people are looking, and my friends are going to be like, please take the helmet off. You also have to, like to come home with the helmet. Because you can't just take it off and leave it somewhere and then ditch it. No, no, no.

This is a $150 helmet. I'm not fucking ditching this thing. You know what you should do is join a biking club. Are you Venmo? A hiking club. And you could do. But it's fine. Yeah, if I wear the helmet at the bar.

Yeah. Jay. Well, I guess I'll say my Venmo name. That's a mistake because guess what? You and I are different people. It's almost exclusively requests. You never know. Jackie will get some goddess shit. What is it?

Wait, hold on. Yeah, at Jackie-Nichols-2. Jackie-Nichols. How do you spell your name? N-I-C-H-O-L-S-2. How about this? It's bullshit that Jackie Nichols is just three blonde girls in the picture.

I would definitely send it to her. Wait, that's not. I don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jackie-Nichols-2. Yep. Today's voicemails are sponsored by Pirate Water. Attention all partiers, all ragers,

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the crowd all over everywhere all over myself i was soaked i was shocked they let me on the plane i was so i had so much pirate water on me um but it is it is the ultimate party in the can it is it's even like something you just look at it, you're like, it's time to go. It's not like we're going to sip some beers and get a buzz. There are bottles of wine. This is a nice, relaxing night. This is a fucking rocket launcher. That skull is staring at you with no eyes like this is going to be you in a few hours.

So you can get your Pirate Water at your local liquor store. If you go to drinkpiratewater.com, they have all the locations, whether it's a liquor store or a gas station or a Walmart, on the shelves of your bodega, whatever it may be, Pirate Water is there. It's also delicious. As I said, I have an adult friend with one kid, another one on the way, who recently texted me, it's all I drink now. Wow. That's crazy. That is great. My personal favorite, I believe, is just the margarita flavor straight up.

The margarita. It does taste like a margarita. The other ones are a little too beach vacation-y for me. But if I'm ever on a beach vacation, these are the ones I'm going to be drinking. You know what you should do, too, is if you have a slushie, put the pirate water on that flavor. Put the pirate water in. You probably put it in one of those machines.

Yeah. I know a lot of frat houses and stuff have those kind of things. Get the Pirate Water, slush it up. Slush, slush, slush it up. I like that. Get pegged. Slush it up. So go to drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order it off

GoPuff. It's voicemails brought to you by Pirate Water. What's up, KFC? Fight, Jackie, and the rest of the crew. A little hypothetical for you. Let's say you get a call from the Make-A-Wish Foundation one day, and there's a little kid who wants to spend his wish having a day with KFC Radio. What does that day look like for that kid?

It's great because I have it. We've already done it. You weren't there for it, but I've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was awkward, right? It was incredibly awkward. The kid didn We've already done it. You weren't there for it, but I've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was awkward, right? It was incredibly awkward. The kid didn't want to be there at all. The dad didn't even know what it was.

What could we do to make it fun? Because you just were sitting here like, I don't know. We did a podcast together, but the wild thing was it could only come down on a weekend. So it was, Barstool, the office was empty. This is old HQ, too. And the office was empty. And the dad came in, we've been walking the son around and I don't know if we just got in

I don't know if it was just regular office situations or if we just got in some Asa Akira mailing we had dildos stuck to the walls everywhere. Like on people's desks just like this is where fucking dan said i had one just like a big black dildo here and like above the door frames big fucking dildos

it's like i don't know you want to talk about the path free agency moves dude it was i think if if we were to come up with like the KFC radio experience, full immersive experience, I think you get to come in. I think we go to jail for kids involved. Yeah, that's probably true. So let's say for adults. So Make-A-Wish Day with KFC radio ends with John and Kevin in prison. I think you come in, you get to, you have to like, you come in, you clown Jackie right away.

You get to make fun of her and say like some shit about her. You sit down and you, we do like a dumb hypothetical question. We talk for a little bit. You get to eat like an abundance of candy. It's like, you know, John's the candy guy.

You get like all the candy in the world. Get a tattoo. Get a tattoo. Yeah. Link you up. We's like, you know, John's the candy guy. You get all the candy in the world. Get a tattoo. Get a tattoo. Yeah, link you up. You get a tattoo. Chug a pirate water. Chug a pirate water. Here's the thing. The thing that is I guess is

nice to hear, because you'll see that everything is quite real. We don't really do anything but talk into microphones. There's really much we do i'm saying we are like the the uh i said a few weeks ago we're like the the podcasters we don't do anything else and then promote it with our podcast we just podcast we just talk i can't even think of something. This is so demeaning. So depressing. Yeah. Like some little kid being like, I'm going to die tomorrow and I can either. We'll kill you. I can either do.

Honestly, that would be it. That'd be it. Killyourdad.com. We'll kill you in a safe way. We get to live out our fantasy. It's a murder suicide. But the fact that we could be like,

yo... We'll teach you how. You want to end it soon? I got a few ideas. Up the river, not across the river. I pop out my notebook, I'm like,

oh, good, wait a minute. Got some tips here. This one, 3 a.m. last night. Just an idea popped in, you know, we're just spitballing here,

okay? Do you think if you hit some some kid like he's dying you got 24 hours to live you could either

do the full KC radio experience or just sit on your couch and die I think he's taking the couch yeah

right have you seen London is Falling yet there's so many better ways you can say it. He's like, so Aaron Eckhart's the president? Yeah, you don't have to see the first one.

You'll catch up. What's going on, KFC Fight crew? We were listening to a true crime podcast the other day because I am like all the other girls that love true crime. Unimportant. Anyhow, they interviewed a juror and he was like, I was the one guy who thought he was guilty or whatever. And he's like, I held out for a couple days and eventually I just gave in. My question for you both is if you were on a jury

and let's say it's like a capital murder so you're gonna send the guy to death and you think he's not guilty but everyone else all the 11 other jurors think he's guilty earlier this episode literally said whichever side the majority is going hold Hold out before you're like, okay. Yeah, we're good. This is a perfect bookend for that. Yeah. If I was ever on a jury, I would go, I'm going last. And whatever the first ten thought.

Here we go. Yeah. Bring them up. Bring them up. Yeah. I don't know if you guys know this. Every. Like. No, I. I. I don't know if you guys know this. Every room I step into, I just want to walk out where everyone goes, hey, pretty nice guy.

Yeah. And if I'm the guy who's like, no, guys, I think he's innocent. This guy's a pain in my ass. Just fucking fry him. I think I would be much more inclined to dig my heels in on an innocent guy. Someone that I think is innocent and is getting called guilty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If he's getting set free, you probably won't do it again. Right, right. He at least looked sorry. He's pretty scared. He got scared straight. If I... This whole two-week process has been a real nuisance to him. He missed his shows.

He hasn't gotten to eat what he wants. He's sleeping in the wrong bed. I would dig my heels in. I would be the worst juror, depending on my mood in that moment. But you know me. You know what I mean? I'd be fighting for days on end. I just don't think you did it.

I don't think you did it. Oh, see, I would be – Right. But it all depends on the case. You know what I mean? If it's something I don't care about, I'm a big guy. If I can put my shoes in it, as we've seen, if I can apply it to myself, I'm like,

wait a minute, fuck this. This could happen to me. Then I would be the guy that people fucking hate. It would depend on jury rules. I don't know what it's like, but if it's Pizza Friday and it's Thursday, I'm like

let's go skip work come in another day what do you fellas say we deliberate a little longer eat some pizza devil burger I love a fat Tony's

meatball shop and they said I can have whatever I want tomorrow you know what I realized I all my life what if there was a cute girl on the jury oh yeah I'm trying to stay the whole time yeah You know what I realized? What if there was a cute girl on the jury?

Oh, yeah. I'm trying to stay the whole time. Yeah. That's like being a cute girl on the train. You have a jury duty girl is better than a train girl. You think in a week, you'd be like, what do you think? So girl. I would be a real pain in the ass if she was the one who was like, I think he's guilty or I think he's innocent. And I'd be like, these guys are so stupid.

Let's just meet. You're so right. You're so smart. I couldn't believe. You're so beautiful and smart. Meanwhile, she's texting my friends. I have chlamydia. All the jurors are texting her like so you know he is chlamydia.

See you flirting over there. That guy's piss burns yellow hot. Come on, guys. We're trying to save you guys' lives. I'm trying to murder pussy, bro. What up, KFC Radio? Fights. The crew behind the camera.

Got a quick am I the asshole for you. So I was going out on a second date with this chick. We're no longer dating. You'll see why. So we're going up. We're second date with this chick. We're no longer dating. You'll see why. So we're going up. We're going down to this bar. And she's like, hey, is it okay if my dad and stepmom come with us? I was like, in my head, I was thinking they're going to pay for the meal.

I'll get a free meal and maybe a drink out of it, right? I did. So I was like, yeah, sure. Why not? The more the merrier. I'll meet them. I go in. First thing I noticed before even shaking hands, I know the stepmom. She's my age. Shebergasted i was like what the fuck is going on um so i was like okay shit throughout the night i go to the bathroom i come out of the bathroom the stepmom uh comes and like corners me it's like hey don't

say a word don't worry about it just like none of your business boom i'll tell you about it later night ends we all go our separate ways and apparently she forgot to tell me and explain it to me later so it's like okay whatever i was gonna go to work boom a couple days later uh my co-worker at work is like hey question do you know about this dude on i explained the situation to him i was like yeah a couple nights ago i went on this weird double date with this chicken her mom stepmom and dad and whatnot like explain the situation he yells at me cusses me out pisses he's like i can't believe you couldn't tell me right away like what the hell what else okay about like not even not even an hour later i get a call

from the stepmom slash wife and it's like hey what the like what the hell what are you doing i can't believe you what why what blah blah blah she's pissed at me okay like the next day like two one or two days later i get a text from the chick i was seeing she's like hey what kind of asshole breaks up and splits up a couple that just got married apparently i was the reason why the the dad and the stepmom broke up within like the last few days, uh, filed for divorce, all this stuff because of, you know, me.

So just curious, like who's the asshole in that situation of all the parties involved? Like, I don't know. Tell me what you think. Someone give me cliff notes. He, you what?

Francis and Kelly are going at it. About what? What do you think? It's all caught on camera, apparently. Screaming and yelling about feminism and shit. Francis dropped a, Who is Sonia Sotomayor? I can't even say it.

Sonia Sotomayor. How did that make its way? I guess she said she's a feminist, and he was like, Oh yeah? Who's sonia sotomayor sotomayor how how did that make its way i guess she said she's a feminist and he was like oh yeah who's sonia sotomayor she gave the commencement speech about speech of my brother's graduation so i know her how do you say it's sotomayor right sotomayor yeah sotomayor um sonia sotomayor is a can can so she i i i actually i'm gonna be honest i have no idea yeah i think it think it's funnier this way. Like, sometimes you just tell a story so bad.

Like, think about that. That guy. My phone's on do not disturb mode, and I was like, I got to look at my phone. It wasn't like I got a notification, like, I have to check that. I was like, there's got to be something else to do right now. Get into my phone and find something. I feel bad when I do this because someone took your time and they appreciate the show

How can you be so into our show that you call and you don't look down at your video and see like 2 minutes 57 seconds being like this is probably too much Jump to the middle He was out with a girl and he recognized the stepmom

We used to work together. So she used to date a coworker, right? Date a coworker, okay. And then she, like, you're like, we're in the marriage? A couple days later. He says a couple days later. My coworker at work is like, hey, question. Do you know about this dude?

I explained the situation to him. I was like, yeah, a couple nights ago ago i went on this weird double date with this chicken her mom stepmom and dad and whatnot like explain the situation he yells at me cussing me out pisses he's like i can't believe you couldn't tell me right away like what the hell what i was okay about like not even not even an hour later I get a call from the stepmom slash wife and it's like hey what the hell what are you doing I can't believe you

she's pissed at me okay I remember this part now so I was tuned in for the rest I don't understand what happened I get a text from the chick I was seeing she's like hey what kind of asshole... No, go back to before that.

He never tells... Apparently, I was the reason... No, go before. Wait, just play that, though. I was the reason what? Why they broke up. But why do they know each other? Why does everyone know each other?

Dude, his voicemail stinks. Stinks. Why did, like... He told his friend, he recognized this girl. His friend was like, why the fuck didn't you tell me? He's like, what are you talking about? And then the marriage breaks up. You're missing so much of the story.

Don't add any more. This voice mail stinks. If we were trapped in the Arctic, who would we eat first? Out of the team. Looking at you, big boy. Me? I was going to say me.

Yeah? I think we just feed the most of us, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say me for that reason. No, I mean... I mean... Kenny Colleen. Colleen's like an appetizer. She's like...

She's not... Your boy's at a cool 226. Where are you at, Nick? Right around there. Right around there. Maybe a coin flip between you guys. Yeah. I might be, you know, like... Maybe a coin flip between you guys. I might be...

I'm like Veal. I'd be tasty. I don't care for Veal. You want gamey, thick, strong meat. I like a thick, strong meat. I think... I like a Martin Luther King monument meat. I think. I like a Martin Luther King monument meat.

Can we put the picture in that so everyone knows what I'm talking about? Remember that thing? I saw it live in person for the first time. How was it? Looks more like eating pussy than a big dick in person. Because you see both hands like this. I don't know what she's worth. So it's like. I have a dream.

Fucking munching barn. If we had to vote, silent vote, no questions asked, who do you think it would be? Fights? Yeah, probably me. Who would you guys vote for?

I'd vote for me Probably fights You'd like to eat him? You want to kill him and eat him? Yeah, I think he's first up I think he would let us That's the thing, it's almost like I think they could both fight I'd keep throwing it out

You guys should probably kill someone It's like day one We have a stash of food from the plane that crashed. We're eating like filet mignon. John's like, you better get some human flesh going. I'm being over here with a gun. I get one windshot. Jesus.

If I was you guys, I'd fucking kill the biggest person here. Time for our interview. got tank sinatra one of the uh i mean all-time great internet users yeah you know ever in the history of this the brief uh history of the internet you know we do things kind of like be funny and uh fucking let the chips fall where they may and uh tank his real name is george, is a very funny guy. He's clever, but he also knows what the fuck he's doing. Man, if we had someone like him around the early days, just be like, no, do it this way, and it'll work.

Like, fucking A. I had a game of followers in the last year. All things internet, me and him did a little powwow on Jay-Z at the end. We ate some irish soda bread it's a good interview with our boy tank let's get into it what is the three one two three it's very weird i did that yesterday oh yeah yeah how often does that get done i did it on the dozen on the bracket yesterday for 3gG? No, no, no. Someone had brought up that someone said,

who was it? Stephen Che was telling a story about how owls are the silent assassin. And maybe Francis said, unless they have a Tootsie Pop. And Nick didn't get it. And I went, you don't know one, two, three. Yeah. I mean, that's a little bit old school probably for some kids who maybe are younger than us.

But that cartoon or that commercial is like forever seared into my mind. The little sketch, that round owl. The delicious Tootsie Pop. How many licks do you think it would take? Everyone's tried. I've definitely gotten to the thousands. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah he's got

i mean i think i got to like 20 and i was like this is clearly gonna i've i've for sure that's very funny well uh forget about lollipops unless they're three chi lollipops which they probably fucking have three chi is the number one way to get pure cannabis products into your body. THC, the same THC that's in marijuana that you use when you're smoking weed, you can now get in 3C. They have every other witch way, so they probably do have some lollipops. If they don't, they have edibles. They have pastries. They have oil that you can put in your own home-cooked things.

They've got the vape cartridges they've got the drink uh powder water powder uh to make well they've got a drink powder to make water so that you can get high some of it has you're almost there huh you're almost i almost got yeah it's it's a drink powder to make water to make it's been a long day, folks. It's been a long day. Well, one is you can get like lemonade flavor. The other one is just water. So you're technically making water.

You're making like weed water. It's got THC in it and it you high, gets you stoned, gets you that euphoria, gets you the giggles and the munchies, but you don't have that paranoia. You don't have that weird fog. You don't have that hangover. So, when you buy 3G, you know you're getting the highest quality in purity, taste, and that craveably potent buzz every single time. Jesus. Tugboats. Jesus Christ.

Are you even trying? I saw you lean forward and flex. I can hear your beard on the mic. Do you think the mics would pick that up or no? Yeah. You got to go back and get my face. I'm reading the thing and I'm just like, are you drooling? Oh, my God.

He is. He's drooling. This man is disgusting. He's farting and drooling. What's wrong with you? You high on 3G? What's happening here? He's got tears on his nose.

Spit in his mouth. Farts coming out of his butt. Fuck, man. KFC radio listeners, get an exclusive 15% discount on all of 3Chi's premium THC products. It used to be like no discount. Then it was only 5%. Now it's 15%. And you can get that

discount when you go to 3Chi.com. It's the number 3. CHI.com. Use promo code KFC15 to get 15% off your order. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please use responsibly. You goddamn dirtbag, Vidal Burke.

Barstool card. If you land on the blue spot, on the blue space, you pull a playing card, and one of the playing cards says one bite, and then it says you get reposted on Barstool, gain 50,000 followers or whatever it is. It's all about traveling the world and racking up followers instead of money. VIP Island Festival.

Yeah, that's the only bad one. Wait, what's Griffith Park on that one? Griffith Park is in California, where the Griffith Observatory is. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's very close to the pink wall, but that's actually where I came up with the idea for the account was the Griffith Observatory is. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's very close to the pink wall, but that's actually where I came up with the idea for the account, was in Griffith Park.

Really? I saw three girls. One of them was climbing up on a tree, taking a picture, and I was like, the tree's three feet tall. What are you doing? Just stand next to it like a human being. But she was, like, laying on her branch like this. And I was like, this would be a funny account from this perspective.

Yeah. And I was like, I hope somebody starts it one day. It'd be good. And then two weeks later, I was like, wait, why don't I just start it? So you have Influencers in the Wild, the Tank Sinatra. Yep. Tank's Good News. Tank's Good News.

Those are like your three. And then I have my personal page, Meme Daddy. But I don't really post on there. Yep. Tank's Good News. Tank's Good News. Those are like your three. And then I have my personal page, Meme Daddy. But I don't really post on there. Right. God damn, those are three monster accounts to have. Yeah, they're fun. How much do you... I saw a video the other day, and I was showing it to you actually,

where it was a woman breaking down all the new rules of Instagram. We're lucky enough to have social people. Yeah, wait, where was that video? Was that private or was that public? I don't know how many retweets I had. I saw someone I followed on Facebook. You have to post six times a day, two in the morning, two in the evening, two in the afternoon. You have to use the hashtags.

You have to use a poll. You have to use the grid. You got to use reels. You got to use stories. I mean, there's... Wait, so reels isn't the grid? I am obviously an absolute moron. When I say grid, mean uh still image because they do i mean instagram still likes when you use still images it's not like really they're they're pushing reels yeah reels gets a heavy push but on influencers in the wild every once in a while

i'll throw in a still image and it fucking crushes really crushes yeah and you think that's because it was that good of a picture because instagram's is like – I think it's because people are still – even though it's 2023, TikTok is tremendous. Reels are growing. YouTube. People are still programmed to see an image and double tap. Video, they're programmed to watch it passively. Maybe share it but not double tap. Maybe share it.

Probably not like it. It's very – I mean it's changing but it's definitely – Don't you think if there was a – if a new app came out that was just like you can post pictures or videos. It can be long. It can be short. Yeah. And the only deciding factor is like if a lot of people are interacting with it and like it. Yeah. We don't suppress.

We don't promote. Like the company, whoever owns it it like we don't touch it it's just what people whatever people want i think that would be like yeah everybody would buy into that well that's why then it's like people would just be like all right if if you have a million followers it's because a lot of people fuck with your stuff and it's not because you played by the rules or it didn't play by the rules or whatever. My Instagram account got fucking halted because I called Kelly Keegs a big bird. Just a friend of mine that I was fucking around with. I don't know if somebody reported me or they saw it or whatever.

And all of a sudden, I'm lucky enough that it doesn't hurt me. But if I was on my own and my Instagram account was my only thing and all of a sudden I fuck around with my friend and my career stops stops growing it's crazy yeah if you're if you make your living on instagram and you don't have a contact over there you haven't i got my first contact at instagram by going on linkedin searching instagram hitting people people that worked at instagram cross-referencing the people that i found with people that followed me and i got a meeting at the office like if you're not actively seeking out and like i know people today who make their entire living on instagram they're like hey can you introduce me to somebody it's like how the fuck do you not know somebody right right right i mean you're fucked if something goes wrong that's

your lifeblood dude how do you like but even like we obviously get a lot of contact and like but there's still stuff where i'm always like can we just like call them and like fix this and they're like no i mean like like dave's been dave got shadow banned like even before me and you would think like dave portnoy barstool sports you could like get someone at at instagram and be like can we fix this and it's like nope i've seen him talk about being shadow banned before i think he just doesn't realize that on barstool sports he posts the minute version of the clips and on his own page he post three to four minute clips yeah no but there's also like i mean you know there's like levels to it it's like whether you know some people when

you search their name it doesn't even show up like that kind of shit like okay like there's i think there's there's levels of like like i was i was gaining whatever it was like let's say it was a thousand followers a week and then all of a sudden i my following and my unfollowing perfectly matched starting one day all of a sudden out of nowhere. So aggravating. And I just stopped. And I was like, so I don't know if that's like bots or if they just are pushing buttons going, we're going to make it match. But out of nowhere, as soon as I got a strike against me, my unfollow and my follow happened to just be a wash every single day forever.

I was like – Plus or minus 50 or 100. Right, but if you search my name, I still come up. So there's like, you know, there's an Alex Jones or somebody crazy like that. You get fully shadow banned. And then there's the level of like, we're just going to hold you down a little bit. Yeah. But

you would think that you could maybe, you know, if you're someone like Dave, you could get out of it. Like, nope. I'm lucky enough where it doesn't really matter. I'm not a very good Instagram user. But it is like, I don't think I've gained a follower in over a year. Which is, that's just stuck. Even if you're not a good user, like, someone like yourself should gain a couple here and there. But you do gain, you just lose also.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So either they're either bots or followers. Who unfollows? I've never unfollowed someone. That's what I mean. That's why I feel like they have... Instagram has their following bots, too. So they're like, if we need to make it match,

we can just... It's like printing money. It's like the government printing money to make shit like rates match. They're just like, alright, this guy's gaining a lot of followers today, but he's in the penalty box. So I gotta just go... Yeah, the fact that people think Instagram's to do anything about the bots is comical. That's like – it's a large percentage of their daily active users.

You want them to cut down the users? Like get the fuck out of here. They definitely could. There are systems they could put in place. The new – like when someone makes a new profile and it says new on their profile picture, that was a step in the right direction. So if you get a – So you know that that person like just signed up within i don't know what the the window is but it's let's say it's a week or two like that should be enough yeah for someone to because like bro i

mean the bots on my accounts are out of control like five thousand dollars a day like that sort of shit is just yeah dm me the word depressed for five grand shut the fuck up get off get out of here who's DMing these people also I know like that's my question like did it ever once work it works right now dude they wouldn't do it if some

girl writes hey why is everyone going to the bathroom after watching my stories I'm masturbating somebody some idiot is going to that page and DMing her and going can I watch

you masturbate? And they're tricking them into signing up for a website, putting in their credit card information. The day people stop responding to these bots, there's so many stupid people out there. If it wasn't for the stupidity of the human race. That's so shockingly stupid, but yeah, I guess

don't have faith in you. If you look at these bots or these Instagram models, I don't even know in you. If you look at these bots or these Instagram models, I don't even know what the word is anymore, but the comments underneath the picture is like some dude in Arkansas who thinks he's really got a shot at this chick by telling her she's got nice tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does that ever work for you in Arkansas or on the internet? I can at least respect a guy shooting a shot. I can't believe there are still people i can't i do not respect that no i do not respect you shooting your shot in an instagram come to dubai baby yeah like like to me there will always not coming to dubai there will always be a guy trying to do that what i can't believe there are is the guys being like you should you know you should cover up more if you want respect. People telling other people

what to do in general is annoying. From your fucking couch in Arkansas. I can understand the idea of I'm a horny dude who's just like will you go out with me? But I can't wrap my mind around I need to tell this girl to clean up her act so that she gets respect. From him?

Yeah, from me. As if she's out to get respect from this asshole. Dr. Greyfang is a friend of mine, another meme guy, and he has different variations. You guys are like the Avengers, bro. What memes you got. Tank and Greyfang got together. But he has different variations of this that he'll do, whether it's the Miss America contest or the Olympics or the Super Bowl.

And it's like some fat slob sitting on his couch surrounded by food, someone watching a figure skater, slight toe pick. And the guy's like, fucking idiot. What are you doing, bro? There's a lot of that. A lot of, you know, what is it called? Sofa, armchair. Armchair backs, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's always lot of that. A lot of – what is it called? Sofa, armchair. Armchair, armchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I mean that's always been a thing. I don't even know if they use that phrase anymore. But it's funny. It's like that's always been – in the beginning, it was like a newspaper article writer would be that. And it just got more and more advanced that. It's like instant. There's just so many more of them.

But it's like – We gave everyone a voice and then we gave – it's like the atomic bomb. It's like should we have done that? Yeah. I don't know if everyone needs a voice. I don't even know if I need a voice and then we gave him it's like the atomic bomb. Should we have done that? Yeah. I don't know if everyone needs a voice. I don't even know if I need a voice.

If somebody shut down my account and they said hey you got to go back to regular life I'd be like If someone came in like almost like Not ideal but alright.

If someone came to me like right now like walked in the store almost like a ref in a hockey fight and they're like hey it's done. Yeah yeah it's over.

And like hockey guys are always like yeah you're right good call. Yeah yeah. I'd be like yeah no all right you probably really want to play but like we had a good run we shouldn't we shouldn't have even got what we did but i think that that's inherently like a little bit of the problem with uh sometimes at barstool and and i'm sure in like in your positions as well like even when it comes to negotiating and stuff

i i'm always like if you're you know if you're the CEO, don't listen to this part. But I'm like, I already think I'm overpaid and this is silly. You know what I mean? So there's this inherent thing in the back of my head that's like, you got lucky and you're riding the wave. So it's all going to disappear one day maybe. So just shut up and enjoy it. But the reality is, it's like, no, this is what people pay for. This is what your value is.

And that's just how the world goes. But I think when you come from our generation where we have a little bit of the old life, in the back of our head we're going like, this is so much better than it could have been. Oh, yeah. And we feel that way. So that comes out a little bit. I used to feel like that until I started Influencers in the Wild. I felt like Tank Sinatra was a fluke. Tank's Good News was a fluke built off the back of the first fluke, Tank Sinatra.

I'm sorry, Tank's Good News. And then I started Influencers in the Wild, and I posted about it maybe twice for my main account, and then it grew to a million followers. So you just know how you're doing it. You know what to do at this point. I was like, oh, I guess maybe I do know a thing or two about the internet. Do you think you could do it like 10 times? With the right content, sure. With the right idea.

That's the problem. You've got to find a hole in the market and fill it. And the hole has to be interesting and engaging and people – you know what I mean? You can't just become a – I don't know, whatever, something boring. I can't even think of anything boring because I'm so interested. Have you thought about being like a consultant and being like, I'll help you set up your page. If you have a good enough idea, I'll tell you what to do and I get like 10% of your shit. Oh, yeah, of course.

And then you just have like a whole fucking network. The problem is if there's a good idea, I'm going to do it. Come sit down with me and tell me your idea. You know, kid, I don't think it's going to work out. You're smart with it because I feel like – and I think we do this sometimes. Like a lot of like throwing shit at the wall and being like, I hope this works. I hope this works. I feel like you're like, I know what this is going to work.

I'm going to nail it. I'm going to do it. I don't know. It looks like that in retrospect. Maybe you do have failed things. Oh, so many. Really? Yeah, I did like eight things before Instagram worked.

I had blogs and video blogs and a website. What was your worst thing? The one you look back on that's like. I mean, they were all terrible but i had a website called jay-z for dummies.com where i would i actually kind of like that idea yeah because this was before his book came out this was before genius.com yeah rap genius was what it was at first before genius oh yeah it's like 2004 wow that's early but i didn't i took a couple of lyrics i wrote a couple of things about it and that was it.

I did like 15 posts and I had like two readers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't have any intestinal fortitude at all. Did you have fun doing that though? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. Not when I had like a small blog.

I loved it. Yeah. There's nothing – there's no risk. You're just shouting it to the boys. There's no risk and also – but like there was something about like the very first time. Like when my friends read it, I was like, cool. Like you guys are like supporting my little hobby. Yeah, yeah.

And then I could tell that some of my friends were like, this is actually funny. And I was like, well, that's pretty cool. And then the first time I got a friend of a friend that I didn't really know. Yeah. It was like, yo, I'm friends with Greg and like he told me about this. That's funny. I was like – I've never gotten any – I'm chasing that high to this day. Oh, yeah. You can go viral and all this shit, but the very first time that like just even one person outside your circle was like, that's fucking good.

Because after your immediate circle of support has been exhausted, every single person after that is all abstract. Either it's one person or a million people or 10 million people. But they don't know. I remember when I did my book signing, I was so nervous that nobody was going to show up. And then I was nervous that 2,000 people were going to show up. It's like, just fucking go. Shut up. I'm still – every show we do, every event we do, we had quite possibly the worst organized event in the history of promotion ever.

Our team, our sales team and promotion team came up with this idea. Worst organized event in the history of promotion ever. Our team, our sales team and promotion team came up with this idea. And I guess none of us really paid attention until the day of. Yeah. It was a scavenger hunt for our new drink, Pirate Water. Yeah. That we planned a party and didn't tell anybody the location of the bar until the exact moment of the party. Uh-huh. And they just expected that the bar would be packed moment of the party uh-huh and they just expected

that like the bar would be packed on a tuesday night my tuesday night seven o'clock we i said i'm at this bar and they were like we have an open bar a thousand dollars for everybody to drink and i was like as i'm sitting there i'm like wait a minute nobody's gonna come here yeah like everyone's got shit to do or already has plans or like you know whatever yeah and i sat there like a fucking asshole like three people showed up because it was like yeah we didn't know about this until right fucking now you have to plan a party you have to plan a book signing you have to tell people where that you know unless you're fucking you know uh charlie d'amelio or something like that where it's like you step outside and people mob you well it's just to say seinfeld

used to famously at stand-up new york used to tweet out an hour before he was going there, I'm going to be at Stand Up New York tonight, and the place will be packed instantly. Even an hour. Give me an hour. I could have done something with an hour. It was 7 o'clock. I was like, meet me here at 7.01. Yeah, no, people need to –

But my point being whether we do a show or a party, like from back in the day when we were young and partying until now. Every time I'm like, no one's going to come. No one's going to come. No one's going to come. No one's going to come. Yeah. And they always come. Yeah.

There was a good amount of people, some big, some small. There's enough people. But I remember at my book signing, the first person I saw that wasn't a friend, cousin, family member or a friend of a friend or whatever. I saw somebody who I didn't recognize with my book in their hand and I was like, oh, this is going to be fine. And then it was just her. I was like, what a weirdo. You're a fucking loser.

Why do you buy this? You don't even know me? So, you're good friends with Chris DiStefano as well. He was in here not too long ago and he's been soaring. I think's about to like really hit the next level oh yeah and a lot of that he attributes to getting off social media he was one of those people really bothered him yada yada yada and i was well he attributes his financial success his weight loss i mean it attributes a little too much to getting off social media i totally agree i'm like your mental

state a hundred percent the last year on i saw your thing about having 60 minutes of screen time, which is fucking bullshit. That was true, but like I said, I had just got the phone. So it was only two days of the phone. It was a glitch in the system. It's impossible. Like you said, 16 minutes every 17 minutes. You take one shit, it's over.

It was. But I didn't shit in those two days, did you? It was. Again, I had gotten the phone on Saturday morning, and then I got my screen time report Sunday night. Yeah. And I was away, like, in the Southie parade all day Sunday, so I wasn't on my phone much. Saturday, I was out with friends, so I wasn't on my phone much. So it was, I mean, it will already be drastically changed. Remember when you actually needed to worry about minutes?

I tried to screenshot it and it fucking went away too fast and I was like, damn, I guess I can still look at it. Yeah, I think it's in the report or whatever. Calling people at 7.01. Yeah, right. Free nights and weekends. 450 minutes a month. 400. Bro, do you remember when text messages counted?

That shit was wild. We've gotten so far from that. Especially the T9, you gotta hit the button three times to get a single letter, motherfucker. Oh, yeah. That shit was wild. We've gotten so far from that. Especially the T9. You've got to hit the button three times to get a single letter, motherfucker. Oh, yeah. That shit is hard. But I mean it was predictive also. So you hit the three and it would like put the – You know.

When we started KFC Radio, the phone number to call in was 8665-STOOL. Uh-huh. And people were like How can you Wow 18 minutes wow Again I had just gotten the phone So it's not like the regular thing I'll never have a day that low until I'm dead I'll be on my death bed

Being like But people said how can you How can you Call letters Like they were young enough they didn't understand That there's letters associated to the But people said, how can you call letters? Yeah. Like they were young enough, they didn't understand that there's letters associated to the phone, like the number pad. And I was like, Jesus Christ. How about when phone numbers, real phone numbers used to have letters in them?

Like in the movies, it's always 555. It used to be KL5. Yeah, yeah. I remember asking my dad, why was it KL5? And he'd say, well, the two first characters of a phone number used to be numbers. What? That's crazy. That's how few phones there were. That's that family guy bit where they're like, hello, is this

number nine? No, it's seven. You have the wrong number. So anyway, with the Stefano thing, I was like, you have a job that you do and then you use the internet to promote it or whatever. When your job is the internet and that's my job and it's definitely your job, literally just social media, right? I mean I shouldn't say that.

We're doing the game of the book. But your platform is the social media platforms. You can't cut back. You can't turn it off. You could delegate it but then you're giving it – the problem with finding someone to help you is that if somebody's really good at social media, they're going to do it themselves. Just like I said about the other account. And even if someone, I'm going to

do this with this idiot over here, I'm going to like, kind of job out my Twitter a little bit. Yeah. And it's like, you better sound like me, man. You better tweet like me. You can't ever replicate somebody's voice. You can't. You know what I mean? It's like, you can do it, but it probably will suffer. The people who complain about the algorithm or reach or whatever, I've had a lot of jobs in my life.

I've worked at multiple different restaurants. I was a fucking dancer for bar mitzvahs. I was a bouncer. I worked at a bagel place. What kind of dancing are we talking? Fucking, you know, grandma, this bullshit. I can't even do it anymore um but there was in the restaurants especially i would equate blaming the algorithm to me blaming the owners that we weren't

busy on a tuesday night it's like there's always going to be a problem i was in the fence business it's winter it's not that busy what are you going to do about it yeah yeah you're going to like go with the the way things are going and either change your – not change your content but make better content. There have been times where I've posted a meme and deleted it. Post, delete. Post, delete. I'll text a friend of mine and be like, is Instagram fucking down for you or what? And they're like, yeah, I think so.

And then I post something and it blows up and I'm like, oh, my content just sucked. It's a harsh realization. When you do that, by the way, does that penalize you if you post, delete, post, delete, post, delete? I have no fucking idea. I have no idea how Instagram works. Which is crazy. I don't even think. It's nuts that we're all just like throwing shit against each other.

Like Adam Masseri, who is the CEO of Instagram. This is when I stopped complaining about it completely like as a rule. I weren't even engaging in conversations about complaining about it. I saw that he had a video that had like 5,000 views. He has like a million followers. If that guy's suffering from the algorithm too, what do you expect to happen to you?

There was one time though where I actually texted my contact Ricky at Instagram and I was like, whatever you guys are doing at Instagram, please keep doing it. My reach went through the roof for one month exactly. I was like, what kind of sick experiment am I a part of right now? Somebody said, on the first, we're going to fucking blow up a tank, and on the 31st, we're shutting it down.

It was one of the best months of my life. Everything was crushing. Imagine you're playing baseball. Every time you hit the ball, it goes over the fence. You start to feel invincible. I remember – so Barstow put all our eggs in the Twitter basket So we're like stupidly But the

Butt fumble Thanksgiving game I remember at the time That was like 11 I think Sure sounds about right 11-12 in that range So like pretty new to Twitter for us And like every tweet I sent that game Something like that. 10, 11, 12 in that range. And so pretty new to Twitter for us.

And every tweet I sent that game was getting 100 retweets. And I remember being like, I figured it out. Like, this is it. I popped. We made it. This is what it feels like. But I can vividly remember that night as being like, wow, I figured it out. I know the game now.

It was just a nationally televised game where somebody put their head up and someone asked all of us, you're never going to get that. But we used to live tweet nationally televised games, award shows, Olympics, anything that everybody was watching at once, we would do the second screen tweet along with it, and it always crushed. It was always a big night. And now it's like it's not – nobody watches anything on the TV together anymore at all except for like a couple events. But even those – and this is weird, I know. But even those with the introduction of like streaming and app watching and all that stuff, even those I don't feel like we're all watching together anymore.

Right. It's 15 seconds off or it's 30 seconds off. And for some reason, even that, I'm like, we're not watching this together. Even like Last of Us, which is the Sunday night show. I know. I might start at 9.05. So we're not watching together anymore.

You used to be able to tweet like, wow. Everyone knows what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this could be the. And it sucks now too. Bro, it actually has fucked me so bad that when I'm at the game, I'm like, fuck, am I delayed? I'm in a fucking crowd tank. And I'll check Twitter during intermission and I'll see like, holy shit.

I'm like, fuck, I'm about to score. I'm like, no, you idiot. You're at the game. It hasn't happened yet. They're talking about something else. It's like that scene in Spaceballs where you're just shot with the time when is it soon did they score when just now i watched that recently actually that's great i mean the um it is interesting too though like so we have a social team that uh you know their job is just to grow the main the the brand accounts and then we

all control our personal accounts and so like i for for one minute man as an example i will want to do an idea i will want to use a certain video or picture in it and they will just be like nope can't post that to the main account because it goes against the instagram rules and i'm always like you fucking pussies. Like this is barstool. Be a little edgy. Use the content. It's going to be great.

It's going to get a lot of views. And they're like, if we get a strike and we get put in Instagram jail, we don't, we don't get as much money. We don't get as much reach. It's just not worth it. And I'm always like,

it is worth it. We have to push back a little bit. It's a, it's a dance, you know? And then like the second that I got put in jail for, for one joke about Kelly, I was like, it wasn't worth it. I shouldn't have fucking said that. I wish I didn't say that.

I wish I'd go back and not do that. So it really is like do you want to just stamp your feet and bang your head against the wall because a company that you're using has certain rules? Or do you want to fucking play within it and try to maximize it? I don't know. It's up to you. You can do either one. You can go anywhere and do it? I don't know. It's up to you. You can do either one. You can go anywhere and do anything. You don't listen. You don't have

to. I've inadvertently but intentionally made my life, my living on Instagram. It wasn't something I wanted it to happen but it wasn't something I thought was going to happen. I was 36 when it happened. Or 37.

I had kids. I was selling fence. My life was really good. Nacho Libre, really good. I wake up at 4am every day and make soup. Now I make memes. I cannot even for the life of me think to complain about

Listen, whether you're a plumber, a waiter, whatever, you're either a complainer or you're not. And I'm just not a complainer. I don't find it, and to complain about the fucking algorithm of all things. A plumber gets shot in the face with urine and whatever.

Yeah, bro, I'll hear you out on that. I'll listen to you complain about that. Also, you don't know the algorithm. Nobody does. I feel like shadow band is something people make up. It's like you're not getting followers anymore. You're shadow banned. I could say, again, I haven't gotten a follower in a year.

I could be like, I'm shadow banned. I'm probably not. I just like Instagram. I don't fucking know. It's like they don't even know. I think the algorithm is sentient. It's not. It reminds me of when my mom used to think that a virus on a computer was

actually, the computer was sick and it needed like rest. I'm like, no, it's not. Like, hold on the algorithm. I'm here to decide.

I do think we've built the algorithm into like the, the Blair Witch Project, I guess. Is that, is that where you never see the bad guy? Yeah. Where it's like this big angle, I think we,

and it's not as bad. Cause like the algorithm, it's for you to complain if your shit doesn't work. And it's also, it's just the angle and it's not as bad because like the algorithm it's just a scapegoat it's for you to complain if your shit doesn't work and it's also it's just the word is what's scary now but like the algorithm

and how they're controlling what we think and they're pushing what we have to watch onto that's the media that's existed forever whether it's media or television

or whatever they are people someone higher up than you some executive is choosing what stories you're reading but that's also your brain. You're tuning into shit that resonates with you

because you're a human being and sometimes you're walking on a path and you see a snake and sometimes you don't because you're not looking for it. I remember this was one of the most gratifying feelings. I combined gratifying and gratifying. It's good, yeah. It reminds me of my friend Joe said,

you could go over this job with a fucking microfine glass. And I was like, that's not correct, but it does work. Was it Shakespeare? It's like any word that conveys what you're trying to say is actually a word. It's language, yeah. Gratifying might be a good one. Coin it. I was gratified.

My brother-in-law was you know my family friends know what I do for a living and he's like alright tell me this how come every time I go on Facebook

it's just fight videos and Hillary Clinton stuff I gotta guess and I was like you're a fucking meathead and her husband it's all fucking KOs and Benghazi over here.

It's all fucking gay porn and like, you know, I don't know. What is Zuckerberg trying to do to me? And his wife had said to him so many times, stop clicking on that shit and it will stop. stop like my facebook reels uh feed forever was steve harvey family feud shit because i got sucked into it and i watched it over and over again it thought i liked it it was trying to listen the algorithm big bad uh what real not not real it's just trying to give you what you're already looking for you dumb fuck i mean ari shafir not my brother I'm not calling him a dumb fuck everyone else though everybody me too

Ari Shafir went on YouTube and searched puppies for a month straight and all he got was puppies everything suggested for him was just puppy videos so he's like of course

it's not feeding you the bad stuff look it's feeding me beautiful little puppies because that's what I was searching you know but we used to get that

with the Google AdSense Google AdSense on our webpage. When it would be like, get a bigger cock. And they'd be like, Barstool's gay, man. It's like, those are based on years. I don't see those ads. There's nothing like somebody outing themselves with the internet. The absolute fucking best, man.

So you're like 36 and all of a sudden, so you come home one day and you're like 36 and all of a sudden like so you come home one day and you're like babe I'm quitting my job and I'm doing this full time um

yeah and she's like no you're fucking not you're crazy no my wife is super supportive she was like she

I had a contract because was it money right away like the followers no no I was going for two years three years before I made any money

really and then I signed with like millions of followers or like hundreds of thousands I had, three years before I made any money. With millions of followers or hundreds of thousands? I had hit a million before I did any ads at all. Because I had seen so many ads pop up on my Instagram from meme pages. And I was like, I'm not selling dildos. I'm just not. No disrespect.

You're a student. You don't need a ton of money to live. You can do a dildo ad for a thousand bucks. Go for it. I'm not going to throw that in the mix and then jeopardize a relationship

with Comedy Central or Hulu or, you know, any of these companies that want to pay to get out in front of, you know, your audience.

Right. So, I signed a contract with a dating app for a year, which I, in my mind, I was like,

I have a year to figure it out. And then once I freed up my brain from thinking about fence, let's say half the time, that's when I came up with Tank's Good News. And that's when I started reaching out to brands and being able to field emails and seeing shit that was coming in rather than being so inundated with, hey, this job is happening on Tuesday.

We need you here too. You're missing a post cap here. There's not enough cement. Shut up. You're missing a post cap here. There's not enough cement. Shut up. You're so annoying. But I would see emails come in from agencies and brands about like, hey, we want to – there's a new show coming out. We want to tell people about it on your page. Then I realized this is like – I always took it rather seriously for – I don't want to say too serious, but I treated it like a business.

Like Barstool is an incredible behemoth of a network now, but it didn't start like that. It became like that because Dave and you and the early people treated it as if it was a gift of sorts and nurtured it and made it into what it is today. And a lot of people think when they find you, that's where you've always been.

Whatever stage in life they find you at, this guy must have just always had these millions of followers. It was a grind. I'm not a big life, but I had kids before this happened. I got married before this happened. That's what I mean. You had a whole life with

whatever your income level was with that type of house and this type of life and these kids. That I was good with. I wasn't looking for anything else. I think that's maybe why – That's why it worked. That's why it worked.

I feel like when you're pressing and you're looking and you're desperate – sometimes I think desperation can help you too where it's like I had no safety net. This had to work. Yeah. But also you – when you're just like I'm doing this for fun, I don't need it. So I don't need to compromise myself or post the dildos or whatever. Yeah, you're doing it anyway. Do you think that there's – we were kind of talking about this the here today where do you think there's a bit of a fantasy to it like there's you know i feel like every generation does this where they're like oh kids don't work these days kids don't work these days

and we were talking about it with um like influencers is almost a new dead-end job where like one percent of people work it's not people be like i'm going to be an influencer i'm going to be like mail room to the boardroom kind of deal yeah and they look at people like yourself i guess in a sense people like us and it's like look they made it like we can do it and like in reality 99.9 percent of people are going to end up broke doing it only three percent of restaurants survive. True. It's all the same shit.

And kids today, kids in the 80s, kids in the 50s, it's all human beings. And Barstool, I feel like, is going to hate me for saying this because it's like a very kids these days platform. But it's always been kids are not the problem. I was a lazy fucking piece of entitled shit when I was 15. My dad would say, do your homework. I didn't do it. Not because I was a lazy fucking piece of entitled shit when I was 15. My dad would say, do your homework. I didn't do it.

Not because I was a shitty kid. I worked harder to not do it than I did to do it. Because I was a kid. I do remember kids in high school that thrived and did their science project by themselves. The problem is that we have access to kids now. We see them and hear them. And they were never – But you also – by the time people are old enough to have kids,

they forget what it was like to be a kid, and that's why the human race will never get anywhere. There was a period of time when Dave was doing his show with Josh Richards. Every episode, it was show a picture of an old entertainer to Josh Richards, and he doesn't know them, and you show a new TikToker to Dave, and he doesn't know them. And it was like, how do you not know? Can you believe he doesn't know who Charlie D'Amelio is, and he doesn't know them and you show a new TikToker to Dave and he doesn't know them. And it was like, how do you not know? Can you believe he doesn't know who Charlie D'Amelio is and he doesn't know who like Brett Hall is?

And it's like, yeah, this is how it fucking goes. But I think like every other generation, the only kids you saw were like the kids in your life. When you have access to a kid on the internet who has like 10 million followers. The dumbest kid. And he's like in the neighborhood. Like a 13-year- old boy who thinks he's sexy like looking at his lips and looking at the camera it's like oh my god set this kid on fire

but you know now you see that all over the fucking place I think we'll figure out how to deal with it as a species it just keeps going it just goes it just does what it does it's all very new

I think it's cool to be like uh in the history books it'll be like anybody like us doing it we are still at the very infancy of it you know what i mean yeah like well you were saying about like it not working a fluke whatever i remember when i quit my job and i was like this is not gonna work there's no way and then i was like I wonder if people I wonder if there was a guy who sold vacuums door to door

in 1948 who got a job on a show and then was like I'm going to do this until it fucking it goes away and then you find out

that that guy was actually Bob Hope or some shit I'm sure I'm sure there are people like this radio like radio is not a thing you gotta work door to door.

Yeah, people don't want to watch a screen. They want to listen to something. Absolutely. All that shit. Yeah, they don't want to, you know. My grandma said that computers were a fad. Just the device itself. It's a fad.

It'll go away. Of course. Everything's out with her. She's dead. You're a fad, Grandma. You came away. You didn't even last 70 years. You're a fag, grandma. You paid for it. You didn't even last 70 years. You're dead.

So, we got the card game. Yeah. Board game. Board game, sorry. Not just so people aren't confused. Yeah. Because Cards Against Humanity, what do you meme? Answer the internet.

Answer the internet, of course. There's no, it's just you can play it until you get sick of it. You know what I mean? You can have as much fun as you want until you're done. Yep.

This, I wanted to make it like a start and an end. Like you start at zero and then you end up at the pink wall in Los Angeles. Yeah, it's very cool. And then there's a ton of fun

along the way. So when you land on a blue space, which is, I don't know if they can see this. Yeah, we'll put up a screenshot. The game is about, I'd say, 80% blue spaces, which are where all the – like that's where the cards come into it. So you land on a blue spot. You get a reward, a penalty, a challenge, or a question. The questions are like, I don't know, who fucking – who's most likely to go into debt to go to Coachella?

And then you point at everybody at the table or something like that. The rewards are you get posted on Barstool, gain 50,000 followers. You get invited on the Joe Rogan Experience, gain whatever. A lot more than 50. No, those are the same thing. Getting reposted on Barstool and going on the Joe Rogan Experience are equal. All things are the same thing getting reposted on Barstool and going on the Joe Rogan experience are equal really all sins are the same but the penalties are like

you know your dad finds your OnlyFans lose $25,000 or your pyrotechnic gender reveal causes massive California wildfire lose your life

pretty much and then you gain and lose and have fun and laugh and drink a pirate water and fucking that's that integration baby he knows what he's doing call it a night that's it it's very easy to figure out Train and lose and have fun and laugh and drink a pirate water and fucking – That's out of the equation, baby.

He knows what he's doing. Call it a night. That's it. It's very easy to figure out. The instructions – the only thing that I wish people saw in the instructions is that there's obviously got to be a banker because you're giving out and taking followers. The banker is called the Zuck. Zuck. I like.

They sent him a game. He loves it. That's awesome. Yeah. I have a relationship with Mark Zuckerberg, which is weird. Did you have him on Zoom or something like that? Him and Adam Aseri brought me into their live stream, which was – That's fucking wild.

Bro, I had room. Unexpectedly, right? Or no, you knew it was coming? No, I had no idea. I had just finished doing an hour of cardio on the Stairmaster at my house, shirtless, typing jokes, like telling Mark. I was like, this is how it started. on the Stairmaster at my house, shirtless, typing jokes, like telling Mark. I was like, this is how it started. I wrote, Zuck, you really gave us meme gold when you slathered all that sunscreen on your face.

And Adam saw it and he goes, ooh, Tank, I'm just going to bring this up. And then he brought it up and then Zuckerberg was like, yeah, I was trying to protect myself from the paparazzi. Then it became a conversation in the thing, in the live.

And then I wrote something like... Oh, you just put on too much sub-1. Shut the fuck up. No. Have you seen the picture? The one where he's like slathered on? That was his rationale for it. He wanted to protect himself from the paparazzi being able to take pictures.

But it was just... Oh, I thought he was... I was giving him too much credit. I thought he was making a joke. I was like, that's pretty good, actually. That is a... Maybe he was. I don't know. Anyway. My adrenaline was through the roof. I was like, that's pretty good actually. That is a – Maybe it was. I don't know.

Anyway. My adrenaline was through the roof. They were talking to me. Yeah, that's crazy. So then I said, hey – And like they knew because you're one of the bigger and earlier Instagram users. Yeah, Adam had sent me a message the day before saying this is going to happen. Come watch it.

And then I just got like bold and I was like, hey, if you guys need the perspective of a creator smart on this live i'm ready to go yeah and adam goes do you want to bring tank in here and i was shirtless red sweating and he and they go yeah i got the request i ran down got it got a sweatshirt went into my office turned the lights down so you couldn't see that i was legitimately 103 degrees and uh and they asked me some questions and it was great. It was fun. Do you get a following from something like that? I do remember because he reposted the live and tagged me in it. That helped.

I also did a collaborator post with Mark Zuckerberg. I forget what it was exactly. I remember that. I remember seeing that. I forget what it was too, but I remember seeing that. I mean, the goddamn Tanks Club collab with Zuck? Yeah. When the collaborator post was first introduced. It was a get in loser. We're going to something. Yeah, I remember that. and being like, God damn, Tank's collabing with Zuck? Yeah, when the collaborator post was first introduced.

It was like, get in, loser, we're going to something. Yeah, I remember that. He was in a car. I forget what the joke was. But yeah, I mean, I was... Is that someone you talk to? You said a relationship. How often do you talk to Zuck?

That, to me, that's mind-blowing. That's crazy. Zuckerberg just talks... Because talking to you, exceptionally normal, fun guy, my perception of zuckerberg is that like you two couldn't have a conversation like do not go he's he's no he likes memes he loves me i i believe listen i mean at his heart at his heart he's an internet

nerd who like you know what i mean he loves the internet right it just got out of control he made a fucking website to rate chicks in his dorm room right and now it's the the largest nation by population in the world now it chooses governments like should you imagine like like like i want to know if my friend's single or not and it's like now who should the president of guatemala what like i just didn't it to find that chick I wanted. Like, I wanted her to hook up with me. If the social network is telling a real story, I did it to motherfuck a girl who rejected me.

You broke up with me? Yeah, crazy. Well, at the heart of every... I remember learning this in creative writing. At the heart of every story that means anything to anybody, there's some kind of tension or usually romantic conflict that results in an amazing achievement. And that, I mean,

this is art imitating life or life imitating art or whatever. Yeah, her name should be as famous as like Helen of Troy. Yeah. I don't know. You changed the structure of the world. How do you think she feels about all of it?

Yeah, for real. You think she should say anything so Trump never got elected? Dude, there's an alternate universe. She went to BU, probably. Oh, my God. There's an alternate universe where those two just had a shitty, lame college relationship and the whole world is fucking different.

They got married, had kids. We're still on Tumblr. My got married had kids and we're still on like Tumblr MySpace died in 2005 and we all just went back to normal life I like Tom Tom's a cool cat

I don't know him at all but he's I just remember him dunking on some guy being like I got like a hundred million dollars fucking

no it was I almost remember it verbatim it was someone quoted like he I actually kind of app his tweet

he sent a tweet like if you're freaking out over the new Instagram rules, chill out or something like that. Yeah. And someone replied, says the guy who couldn't keep a social network alive. And he quote tweeted and said, says the guy who sold MySpace for $450 million while you slave away hoping for a day off. That's tough. Yeah. That is like you took a sledgehammer to an ant.

You destroyed that guy's life. But yeah, he like – I mean I don't even know – I don't think I've seen him ever. No, no, no. He's got a pretty popular Instagram account. He's like a photographer. He just like travels taking like pretty sick pictures. That guy nailed it. I know the picture.

Yeah. He lived life perfectly. And the best part is nobody would ever recognize him unless he's standing in front of a whiteboard going like this nobody has any idea i have no clue he could walk in here and be like maybe like what's up dude i created my space you'd be like all right get the fuck out let's just also and also like he he he did it like because obviously it did disappear and go away but it's like i would love that oh yeah like if we could like fully cash out and but it's like, I would love that. Oh, yeah, dude. If we could fully cash out and then it all

disappears, I'd be like, okay. I have to go do something like A Simple Life now. You could volunteer at a soup kitchen or do photography, do whatever. Find out what you really want to do. Because I love talking. I love hanging out with you guys. I was going to say, I do actually think this is like the podcasting is, I think, what I like

to do the most is like just bullshit about stuff. So in that sense, everything else I could leave behind. But I think I would just keep talking. But you'd rather probably do it on your terms on your time rather than have to do it every day at a certain time with whatever. Yeah. But I mean we're pretty close to that. We kind of have a recording schedule. Obviously with guests, we have a schedule.

But like our recording is kind of like... Sometimes guests fucking move the time slot and show up late. We got to wait. That hurt. Blame Sal. Passed the buck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were there too long, right?

We were having too much fun. Having fun at another podcast. Yeah, we pretty much do dictate. But it is. I do agree with you because i'm not the kind of person who will talk to someone for some reason and it might be because i'm just so used to this yeah that i can't really do it in public anymore yeah i just talk to someone and like it's almost like i feel like i'm wasting someone's time if i'm asking them questions about themselves

or because you don't care giving them my ideas but like i do care it's just like i don't i feel like they don't care to talk to me when we're in public well that's the depression talking yeah the disconnect the low self-esteem is so big between somebody who lives their life off of the internet and somebody who does what we do when you know what when my like eight my friend group and everybody's young we're all young everybody knows everything is on the internet and shit yeah when you hit like mid 30s and some people start to have kids and go down like the dad row road yeah and it's like i did that but i also stayed like in the zeitgeist yeah and it's like we live different lives now you know it's like they might know what's going on in like the golf world and i'm like talking about you know some fucking 13 year old kid who stole a car on tiktok or some shit yeah and it's like but even

when you meet somebody for the first time, like my wife is completely out of this world. She has a spa that she runs. She has an Instagram account, JessicaTheSkinAndBeautyLoft. Follow it. And her friends are not involved in this at all. And every time we go to a party,

I find myself getting more and more unwilling to engage with people on a regular basis because they're like, so what do you do for a living? I'm like, I don't know. You know what Instagram is? Yeah, I have an account. I don't really go on there.

We don't need to talk about this at all. I cannot explain it to you. I had both jobs. I don't even know. I was blogging and an accountant. I would tell – You were an accountant? Yeah.

You would just tell people you were an accountant? Yeah. Like in the beginning, I was doing both jobs at once for a couple years at the same time. And I would be like, I'm just going to tell you I'm an accountant and we are just going to skirt that. I would use it when I tell girls on the blog or whatever. But in certain instances, I'm an accountant and they would go, cool, and that's it. It's almost like you want to like – Oh, that's a real job?

Oh, you get paid for that? How does it work? What is like – so this one, and he was such a sweetheart, I feel bad, but I like using him as an example because he was so clueless. He asked me, I was smoking a cigar with a friend of mine, and there was a couple of other people there, and the guy's like, so

you're like, you're Tank Sinatra, right? And I was like, yeah. He's like, so how does that work? And I was like, how does what work? This is the beginning of the conversation. So there's people, okay? And they like things. They go on a phone and see things.

I figured out what some of the things were. And then I was like, yeah, people will pay to advertise, be on the platform, whatever. He's like, okay. I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about. Two minutes later, dead quiet, he goes, so does Instagram call you and ask you? And I was like, Instagram is not a person.

It's a company. And no, I don't even understand the question. I don't even know if you know the question you're asking. But he was so baffled by it. That's why I wish sometimes I could just tell people, hey, I'm in people hey I'm you know I'm in advertising or

I don't know dude I may I post it's like I don't what don't you get about like you know you know what commercials are right like you know advertising

on like TV and then they'll go so what is Instagram pay you for the amount of views you get and then I feel a sharp pain in my chest and I'm like no they don't it's not YouTube

I wish they did but they don't share in the profits so i have to scavenge myself for advertisers i'm a whore do you think okay that's what i am when you do that is there any part of your brain that is like i'm doing the job of five people when i do what like when you when you do an ad when someone a brand comes to you and is like we have this new thing, whatever they say. Yeah. And you're like, okay, well, now I'm the guy who has to conceive the ad. I'm the guy who has to –

Write the copy. I have to be the actor. I have to be the editor. I have to be the promoter. Are you like, I'm doing five jobs. I deserve – whatever you used to pay everyone, pay that to me. Yeah. I feel great about it because it's almost complete creative control

over it within reason but if a brand does not want to do something that's on Tank's Good News it's got to be charitable

for a brand especially on Tank Sinatra it has to be funny and on Influencers in the Wild I need complete and total creative control

but if you give that to me I will give you a fucking banger on an ad I've done like five ads on there and every single one of them I did one for

Bud Light Seltzer where I actually had Is it a scripted video? No No No No it's all organic Like what? No. No, it's all organic.

You wouldn't believe the things people send me. Like I did an ad for The Lost City, a movie, with Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum. And it was like kind of a fish out of water story. She's in a pink dress in the jungle. And they sent me a bunch of different scenes from the movie. And I picked, my library is brolic. It's like 40,000 videos. you think it's like porn like whatever whatever you can type in I can find yeah

um and there was like I just matched up some of the scenes like they were mountain climbing I found a girl mountain climbing but then falling that Brad Pitt runs up a tree I found a image of two girls scooting themselves up the tree in a weird way like snails kind of. It's gross. But that's like... And then I color corrected it, added the... I had an editor do that, my friend Jared. Creating that shit. It crushed, dude. Crushed.

People are usually furious at ads. That was the first time I ever posted something and people were like, I'm going to go see this movie because of this ad. I was watching Tomorrowland. No, The Tomorrow War. Yeah. Tom Cruise? No, that's Chris Pratt. Yeah, yeah. go see this movie because of this ad i was watching um tomorrowland no the tomorrow war yeah you know that one tom cruise oh that's uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like one of prime's first movies and like the day i was watching it i was like this this movie were you watching that

recently no no no this was a bad came out it was it was it's like a good bad movie you know so i was like chris pratt yeah yeah yeah that's his thing. That's what he does. That's what he does. And like – so I'm tweeting about it and I kind of was like saying whether or not it was worth the watch. I was being like – I wasn't trashing it but I was being real about it. And at the exact same time, the Barstool account, Amazon had paid for an ad where it's an alien movie. Yeah. And there's a scene where we posted a video where like an alien just runs by quick and it was posed as a TikTok that was real like in South America. People were like, what is that? And they're like, this alien video is going viral.

Like, what do you think that is? And the amount of people who were like, you fucking morons. That's a South American goat. I own a farm who like and it's like, it's it's literally an alien from a movie yeah it was an actual alien from the tomorrow war or whatever oh my god and i happen to be talking about this it ended up just being like the perfect organic uh like like uh integration you came together but the fact like it wasn't a fake video and the amount of people being like, no, it's not an alien. It's this or that.

It's like it's an advertisement. Yeah, people love that kind of shit. That kind of shit is smart. Like that I really liked. It was like Amazon thought of this idea and it's working and it's going viral. Yeah. And you're duping stupid people and it's going to get the promotion. And I think I ended up doing a one-minute ad saying everybody got played by Amazon and that's how that was like the big reveal

and I was like that is great that's where I think advertising is like an art form but that takes some thought totally but it's not like that much thought it's like if you get in a room I think there's so many middle men it's like if you got in a room with you or me or him and it's just like oh okay let's do an alien thing

I have a video that looks like and it's like okay good idea let's do an alien thing. We can do this. I have a video that looks like this. And it's like, okay, good idea. Let's go. Instead of like 10 people who don't know what they're talking about trying to come up with some shit that's not good. It takes bravery on the brand's part because a lot of brands are still very much stuck in that it's got to be 100% foolproof and everyone needs to love it. It's like the more – I don't want to say the more people that hate it, the better. But the more people are confused by it or unsure of what it is, like you got to be willing to play that line. And a lot of brands aren't because they're spending real money.

And if it's not the brand, it's people that work for the brand and those people could potentially get fired if the ad doesn't go well. Like I get it. I totally understand it. People who are like, I don't want to blow this position. Just go with what works. Just do with – But it's like sooner or later, you're going to have to – Yeah, you can't play safe all the time. Right. And I get it. I totally understand it. People who are like, I don't want to blow this position. Just go with what works. Sooner or later, you're going to have to... You can't play safe all the time. There are plenty of jobs I've had where I'm like,

I'm going to go in, do my work, keep my fucking job. Once you have that freedom where you're like, I know I have my job, that's when you start doing your best stuff. You're not going to fire me. There's risk in the world. The guy from old TV thinks that doing a viral video is risky or something. Or he thinks it's possible.

Because a lot of times brands will come and they'll be like, we want a viral piece of content. It's like, I can't give it. No, you're fucking kidding. Let me just pull up my viral pocket over here. Let me ask ChatGPT to make me a viral fucking – Make me rich. We were talking about that the other day with the – how just the word viral has lost its meaning. Oh, yeah.

I was reading a New York Post article about this teacher with her viral TikTok post. Yeah. Had like 200,000 views. 60, thanks. 60? I was like, I would be embarrassed for that Instagram video. Oh, yeah. On my personal account, I'd be like, fuck that, dude.

Don't worry. This sucks. It's not worth it. You're throwing the word viral? I would be like for that Instagram video. Oh, yeah. On my personal account, I'd be like, fuck that, dude. Don't worry. This sucks. You're throwing the word viral. I would be like, the algorithm. It's in the headline. It's like viral. Teacher goes viral. It's like she's amassed 67,000 views.

I was like, get the fuck out of here, dude. You're viral. You know what happens? If you have 100 followers and you get a video that gets 5,000 views, you're like, I'm going viral. Yeah. Right. Because your reach exceeds your following. Sure.

But it's just what is the standard for that. On a massive scale, it's like anything less than 10 or 15 million, in my opinion, cannot be considered extraordinary. I was saying a million is where – like you have to hit a million before you can start using the term viral. And I think – I mean in your world, it probably is more like 10 million views.

Well, because I know people who have, like Elyse Myers had a viral video of her telling a story about going on a date and buying tacos for this guy. Do you know who that is? Elyse Myers? He's shaking his head yes to what I know. They're not really on TikTok.

I follow her more on there. She's the best thing that's happened to the internet maybe since the creation of the internet. And she – because her viral video had everything to do with who she was as a person, she was able to capitalize on it in a way that I've never seen before. It wasn't a moment. It wasn't like the guy drinking cranberry juice, skateboarding, listening to Fleetwood Mac, and then the next video he's crip walking. You can't replicate that. No, bro. Fucking ride a skateboard.

What are you doing? Like ride that until the wheels come off. No pun intended. Right. But, you know, to be able to capitalize on an anomaly like virality

is really difficult. The egg, the world record egg, which I feel bad publicly talking disparaging the egg, but it's one of the worst fumbled bags i've ever seen in my entire life but it was so manic for that those people that were running it like in three days they had 10 million followers right from nothing they had no

experience with it they weren't expecting it what do you do you run an ad for hulu at the superbowl i guess they're gonna pass 250 000 if we do that once a month we'll make you know we're rich that once a month we're rich that was the last one you ever did you didn't do it right I didn't know they even did the Hulu one I would have respected it if they just did nothing just let it burn by the way this is all stupid you made an egg famous

congratulations society before we go can't sit down with you and not talk a little bit about Jay-Z Don't. You made an egg famous. Congratulations, society. Before we go, can't sit down with you and not talk a little bit about Jay-Z. Oh, yeah. I want to just put the podcast name out there that we started, the True Crime Podcast,

Psychopedia, doing it with my best friend's wife, Brooke. Psychopedia? Psychopedia. Psychopedia. Because we were at his house and we were sitting there talking about it. She's been wanting to do it forever.

And I just don't love true crime at all. But I think making fun of it is funny. Not it, not the victims, just the obsession with it. Some of my most viral videos are making fun of people who are obsessed with true crime to the point where it's like, you might have an illness. You might be sick. It is so weird. It's something that's always been around since Jack the Ripper

but it is obviously with the internet and it's reached quite a pinnacle. Particularly with women. It's crazy. What the fuck? What's up Jackie? She's got a helmet on.

She's got a helmet on. Where are you coming from? DoorDash, did you bring food? She's got a helmet on and she's got a helmet on. Where are you coming from? She's got a helmet on. DoorDash, did you bring food? She's got a helmet on, and she will have a helmet on for another week. Oh, is this a bet or something? It's a punishment. She either has to wear it for a week straight, or she has to go on a date and wear the bike helmet and not tell him why and just have a date with the bike helmet. Oh, man, that sounds like a lot of fun.

It's so sore. Oh, man, that sounds like a lot of fun. It's so sore. Oh, shut the fuck up. This is going to be the way she gets out of it. It's hurting my neck. She's going to come in with a neck brace tomorrow? She's going to have the biggest neck I've ever had. We are going to find something out that people are like, yeah, bike helmets are only intended to be worn

like 10 minutes at a time. People wear bikes for hours. Tour de France. That's a nice bike helmet You're all set It's going to be weird when you sleep in it Chicks being able to just rattle off The top ten most prolific rapists

Is so fucking weird And they don't think it's weird And if a guy did it If a guy was like Do you mean the Golden State Killer Or do you mean the Zodiac Killer Or this killer or that killer It would be like Well it's like a girl babysitting And a guy babysitting One if a guy was like, oh, do you mean the Golden State Killer or do you mean the Zodiac Killer or this killer or that killer? It would be like, oh.

Well, it's like a girl babysitting and a guy babysitting. Like one is good. The other one is not good. Oh, you're my kids' art teacher? Cool. You're my kids' art teacher? Where are the police? Were you homeless before? But after talking to her on the podcast, I figured out that it's very much for them like riding a roller coaster where you are kind of potentially maybe in danger, but you're not.

Like you know you're safe. You're listening to a story. Yeah, yeah. But it gets your adrenaline going. It gets you engaged. You get that safe fear and all that shit, yeah. So I kind of – she's – her family – she works for her family's law firm and they handle all of the sexual assault cases for the Boy Scouts, the Catholic Church and the prison system. So all of them.

All of them. I was going to say, touch them all! 97%. No shit. No, no, I mean like that's what else is there. You have the uncles and shit like that. Just uncles. As far as institutional abuse goes. They should be like, we're expanding our business into uncles. Yeah. Catholic Church, Boy Scouts,

uncles, and the prison system system we want to corner 100 so she's uh very diligent in her research with these cases she'll read an entire book about a case and bring all that information to the podcast and i kind of just like derail it by making jokes the entire those are the best ones though because the podcast where and i know there are obviously plenty that are very popular but podcasts were like both people are all three people whatever are all experts uh they come up to me very condescending i'm like shut the fuck up dude i'm an expert right so i think we're having one expert one person who doesn't really know anything is that's the way to run and i never know anything about the case important too though because's important too though because if you do like true crime, you got to have the facts right and everything.

Because when you don't, it's like, no, he didn't kill her. If you get shit wrong, people are mad about it. And I get that. If it's your passion and someone's just relaying the facts wrong. And there's a real person involved. Sure. It's like the respect that she has and I have for the case itself is well – it's apparent during the case. But I'm also like a goofy idiot. So I just – we were sitting at her house.

I was with her husband. She was sitting there. We were trying to come up with a name for it. And I was like, you're like an encyclopedia of true crime knowledge. And then I said, you're a fucking psychopedia. And that's where I was like, oh, maybe that's the name of it. We just ran with it.

And it's a true crime comedy podcast, which makes it a crimity podcast. Which I think we made up. And I've seen other comedy podcast or true crime podcasts in the comedy charts and listened to them. And it's not that they're not funny.

I'm not being like a joke snob or whatever they don't even make attempts at humor yeah it's like you can't call rounders a comedy yeah you can call american psycho a comedy if you want i think also what happens is some of those start in a in a funny way yeah and then they get then they like help solve one of the crimes and get really into it. And then they become like investigators and they're not funny anymore. You know what I mean? It's like you started out as like a couple of girls drinking wine, talking shit and having fun. And now all of a sudden you are like – and I don't blame you. Like all of a sudden you – that's your passion and you can like influence.

But you forgot where you came from. So as long as you just keep cracking jokes and being funny. So Psychopedia, Investigators Slater, Tank Sinatra. And I'm sorry to do that. I would love to talk about Jay-Z. Wait, are you doing – is it like once a week? Is it like new crime every week? Once a week, yeah.

We put out three to launch, three to start so people had something to dig into. And now it's once a week. I mean Jay is – I don't think I've ever seen anybody like something as much as you like Jay-Z. I mean, I consider myself a very big fan. I mean, I had a website called Jay-Z for 2004. Yeah, that's how you know it's next level. Yeah, I was going to say that. I've got to do another thing.

Okay. Good seeing you. I also don't know anything about Jay-Z. Is he very informative? Sorry. I think he – people have been asking me for a while now like who is my great white buffalo or whatever it's called. You're number one. White whale.

White whale. Yeah, yeah. Far and away would be to sit down with J.J. Interview? Yeah. Oh my god, dude. Of course. Because it's so – it's just weird how like inaccessible he's been really. to sit down with Jey Zee. Interview? Yeah. Oh my god, dude. Of course. Because it's just weird how inaccessible he's been, really.

When he pops up, it's like he's coming up for air. You know what I mean? He was on the LeBron roundtable barbershop thing the other day and I was like, when he does something, it's like stop traffic.

He's mastered the 48 laws of power in that he's made himself inaccessible. He gets other people to do the work and takes all the credit for it, which I'm not – it's not a dig against him. He's just – as far – like I remember going to a Kevin Hart concert. I'm sorry, not a Kevin Hart concert. Kevin Hart concert. A Kevin Hart show, comedy show, and a Jay-Z concert. Those are more like a concert. Yeah, it was a –

It was on a fucking football stadium. Huge production. Yeah. it was a huge production. Within a week or two of each other. And nothing, bro, I mean, I love Kevin Hart too. It's just apparent that the team around him doesn't, hasn't been handpicked and like vetted

the same way that Jay-Z's team has. And Jay-Z puts on a show, I've seen him probably 15 times in my life. Every single time I've seen him has been better than the last. Right, gets better. So he doesn't rest on his laurels. He doesn't bank on the fact that, you know, I'm Jay-Z. He knows he's Jay-Z but he's Jay-Z because he's Jay-Z, not

vice versa. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. He is who he is because he is a brilliant genius. Well, you know what's funny? I think he also, every album was Jay-Z's last album, right? Like I'm retiring after one. I'm retiring after this one.

I'm retiring after that one. And I think there was like some element of like reality to that where he was like, I'm done with this shit because I'm like – I either don't want to anymore or I'm on to the next thing. Grow out of it. On to the next one. Yeah, and I think that like when you – if you do that and it's phony, it's like whatever. But I really feel like he wasn't enamored or starstruck with it or whatever. Like of course money and bitches and all that shit. But it's like he really was kind of like I don't – I came from like the drug game.

I don't need this rap fame. I can move on from it. And when you treat it like that, it's a very different game to be played. I think it peaked at the Black Album, obviously, when he says very vividly and specifically in multiple songs, like you got Tupac and Biggie who are venerated as the greatest rappers of all time. They're just not. I'm sorry. It's not. Listen, I'll fucking die on this hill. I will have a debate with anybody about this

Jay-Z literally said they never really miss you until you're dead or you're gone so on that note I'm leaving after this song like he says it so many

maybe you'll love me when I fade to black The Lox said you know dead rappers get better promotion there's a million different ways it's a

they romanticize something like a young guy was slain too early and never, you know, flourished. Plus he can never make any more music.

You don't think that, you know, Biggie would have had a fucking Magna Carta, Holy Grail sort of thing where it's like, not the best,

you know? Of course he would have. Now you have two albums that are like, you know, iconic, but you would have had some shit that was like,

yeah, garbage. Well, you put out 12 albums, one of them is gonna be your worst album. One of them is going to be your worst album. One of them is going to be – it's just how – like is Ready to Die bigger than life – better than Life After Death? One of them is better than the other to you. It's like a coin flip though.

Exactly. But if you have three, four, five, six, seven, you can start to put them in a row. The Beatles did the same thing. The Beatles, they put out – I mean, their catalog is comically small when you think about their impact on the world. Really? Yeah.

I relate to that. I just have over, I don't want to say overcome it like it's a thing to do, but I heard them for the first time when I was 28. I read an article about Paul McCartney writing Penny Lane

and about how much effort he put into it. It took him two years to perfect all the arrangements and the instruments. The melodies were poured over, and I listened to it, and I was like, that's a good song. Penny Lane is good. And then I went through their whole catalog

and became obsessed, and then I grew out of it. But I could hear, it's funny, because when you listen, I was a Jay-Z fan first, and then I go back and listen to Biggie, and I'm like, oh, that's a, I thought Jay-Z took that from Biggie, which the big ones I knew. But the smaller ones that go unnoticed, it's like, oh, he like – Biggie had a big impact on rap. Yeah. The Beatles, when you hear the way they write music, like music like that didn't exist before.

Right. And when the Beatles came out, our parents' parents thought they were the devil incarnate. Right. Which is so funny because none of it was... Well, they had long hair. Right.

I mean, it was like the funniest things to get worked up about. But that's my kids' today argument is like, my dad did the same thing to me. I'd listen to Pantera and Sepultura

and Vision of Disorder, his Long Island hardcore bands and big metal bands. And he'd be like, I can't understand what you're saying. Right. Yeah, I can't understand what he's saying on Hey Jude until I listen to it three or four times. Right, right. You got to like –

You got to get to know it. So here's what I think though. I get – I'm definitely like old man yelling at the cloud. But there's just – I almost don't even like to talk – like compare this generation of rap with our generation of rap. It's like it's two different genres at this point. Yeah. Because like one is punchlines and lyrical flow and double entendres and stories. And this is much more like a beat and a vibe and like a – You know, like –

It's just – You can't tell me that you can sit down and dissect a Jay-Z verse and there's like quadruple and quintuple meanings on single lines. And that compares to some fucking drill trap shit. Like you might like it. I get it. Whatever. There's hits. Okay.

But it's just like to me there's no comparison in the two styles of of rap it's it's different but it's also there is rap that comes out that's come that comes out now that's good it's not like yeah and there was shit rap in 2000 also right yeah yeah ringtone rap was a you know coin back then by the lot i get that but what i think is an interesting uh much like we were talking about the internet being like in its infancy rap is still so new yeah that and the internet the internet and rap are kind of like you know started similarly around the same time like they're you know they're like explosion right so to me, having grown up listening to rap become a thing and grown up on the internet, I always felt young because it was like we're doing the new shit. You know what I mean?

But now those things are like old. Like rap is now old enough to be lame. Like I remember it was a couple years ago. Somebody, Young Thug, said something about like I got more hits than Jay-Z. And I did a one minute man on it and i and i was like laughing at it like yo this dude said he has more hits than jay-z and every young person was like yeah jay-z's fucking lame dude like that shit is old lame music like that's your dad's putting on his music that sucks and i was like what yeah like that doesn't even compute

to me yeah the same way that even just being on the internet like like i you know if you're not on tiktok like you're you know an old man you're on you're on twitter it's like i've we've always been on the cutting edge of that genre of music or this style of internet and now those things are old enough that it's like yeah no you're you're you're grandpa i don't know young how could you say that jay-z's lame because you know what also is a problem with rap rap is talking a lot of times about like the coolest shit being rich and fucking being tough and fucking girls and partying and being better than the next guy and and and punch lines that make fun of people that can never be lame to me. That's timeless. That would be cool forever. How are you saying that's lame?

Yeah, but it doesn't go, Oh, come on. What the fuck is he saying? That's your God, dude? That's what I mean. Which, to be honest, listen, if I was 19 years old

at a party in college and that song came on, I would lose my mind. I would fucking rock. But I'm not listening to it driving. But you also go back past, there's obviously different generations of rap. You have the Sugarhill Gang,

which I know they didn't write the song. Grandmaster Kaz did, but whatever. They were the first commercially accepted rap group or big rap song. Then you have Melly Mel and KRS-One. A little later, Rakim, Big Daddy Kane.

I don't listen to any of that. I've tried. I mean, I will, to my dying day, try to love Rakim. Yeah. Also,

I know that I'm going to make a bold statement here. I am still open to liking Nas. I just don't. I just don't think he holds a candle to Jay jay-z drives me nuts when people say he won lyrically nope his voice is cool yeah he's got a cool voice he's got

a cool story he did make it very young he made ilmatic when he was like 17 or 18 or whatever it was but the thing that sunk him is his beat selection because he doesn't have the flavor and the taste what he's doing right now with Hip Boy is pretty cool. He's got three straight albums with Hip Boy. I'll listen to it. And it's not grasping me the way I wished it would. There's always a couple songs on each of the King's Disease albums that I like. But to have the little resurgence he kind of has right now

at this age, it's pretty... Because rap is so new i don't think anybody's really done it you know yeah i mean i would love if jay-z put out an album if jay-z i mean could you imagine oh like i just just take like do one song a year for the next decade and like put out an album give us something like like i don't care how long it takes but just well god did what can hold me over you know what is cool that the way that it's now it's not even you're not putting out albums or putting out songs it's just verses yeah like i don't really listen i don't really care about the rest of god did like it's it's fine like

to get to the the good stuff yeah give me. It's like, what, like two minutes or whatever, how long it is. Four minutes. Four minutes fucking – like that to me when it's like did you hear the new Jay-Z verse is like I don't even need to – whatever it's on. It could be on fucking whatever – whoever it's featuring. You know what I mean? Taylor Swift featuring Jay-Z. Right. Done.

I'm going to listen. That's a Jay-Z song now. Yeah, for real. For real. But ironically, Jay-Z always, for me, made the song. Beyonce, who I'm not a huge fan of. I think she's very talented. She's great.

It just doesn't hit me. Right. She overpowers Jay-Z on the songs, which is bananas, dude. And I almost think in life a little bit, like as far as – Jay is much more like in the shadows. Yeah. And she's much more – she's in the shadows too. But for some reason has this queen persona.

It's like she doesn't come out of hiding every – she's behind – you don't see her every five years either. No, but they've been – But she has this persona of like the queen of music and it's like she didn't put out music. Like even like that – I forgot that her album had come out when it was when it's time for the grammys and everyone was mad she didn't win what album i don't even yeah exactly it's the one she's a horse on the cover it was this year it was a minute time yeah she kind of is like her i don't even uh and um what's it called harry harry styles won best album of the year record album whatever it is yeah you have like three different categories yeah and everyone was mad because beyon Beyonce still hasn't won one and it was like,

what do you want me to tell you? Nobody even like... Blame it on the algorithm. Beyonce fans know it but the rest of like the regular world was not playing Beyonce songs this year. I don't know any of them. I don't think so.

And I don't... I've been so out of it because I don't listen to the radio anymore. I don't even listen to Sirius. Right. It's just your own... I actually don't like that about the new world. Because I wish I was like, who's

new? Who's new but commercial? Because I don't need to know the new... I got guys here who will tell me the new rapper that they like. Who's the new rapper that makes it to radio? Because that, at least I could maybe meet you halfway. But I don't ever put on Hot 97 or Power 5.

I found myself listening to way less rap in general over the last couple of years. The last song that really struck me in my soul was the song Movement by Hozier. The guy who sang Take Me to Church. Yeah. Bro, the song Movement, still to this day if I listen to it.

Is he rapping? No. Oh, you're just singing. Okay, got it. No, that's what I'm saying. It's not even like, I don't care what genre the music is. I don't,

when I say I like Jay-Z, it doesn't mean I'm, rap is, when I say Jay-Z is my favorite artist of all time, it doesn't mean rap is my favorite genre. He's just an anomaly in it. I'll take any music from anywhere at any time. If it hits me the way I need to be hit

for it to go on my fucking Spotify Rapped this year, then it's good. I don't care what it is. For sure. Electronic metal country, whatever. I got into Mumford and Sons for six months. I went to go see them in concert.

To me though, there's something about rap that's like, it's almost like a sport in my mind. It's like there's a competitive, that's why I love the versus series. Like there is a, there is a, it's almost everything else in music is pretty subjective.

There is a little bit of objectivity in rap where it's like he's better than him or her bars are better than hers and it's like they're a better – If you prefer someone's voice over someone else's voice, that's an opinion thing. When it's like these are more clever rhymes is a pretty – you can admit that. But somebody might not value clever rhymes. They might value beat. But Jay-Z always chose fucking crazy beats. That's why he's the greatest because he's – Crazy.

My favorite video ever and it's been making the rounds so much is – I just saw it again today when it resurfaces when he's in the studio with Timbaland and he plays – Oh, yeah. Dirt Off Your Shoulder. Yeah. Those studio session type videos to me – Did you watch that movie? No.

I don't think I did. I watched the whole thing. Fade to Black? No. Oh, there's like eight of those scenes in there. Yeah, yeah. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I mean, I remember Fade to Black, like the name of that, but I don't recall.

Fade to Black was the movie that chronicled, obviously, the making of the Black album and his last concert at Madison Square Garden, which I went to. Michael Buffer came out. Dude. That's electric. Oh, my God. Michael Buffer comes out. We're there.

I was dating this girl at the time who worked for a pharmaceutical company. She got tickets to the Jay-Z show. She called me that day. She goes, do you want to go see Jay-Z's final concert tonight? I was like, after I'm done coming. Yeah, obviously. We go there, get there early, which I never do for anything, as you know. Yep.

And you hear Michael Buffer go, ladies and gentlemen, and nobody knows anything about anything. This is not like the days where you could find out what was happening before. Ladies and gentlemen. And then you hear, bro, the fucking arena exploded just from his, like that guy,

that man has a lot of power in his voice. For real. And in fade to black there's a scene where he he discovers the uh the beat for um i'm gonna i don't want to mess it up psa it's are you not entertained yeah but they're going through beat cd him and guru sitting in the in the thing and guru puts it in and he's you know you hear the sword and whatever he's like leave that and then you see the moment and he describes it as like, this is the magic moment. This is where I make my music. And I go do my Rain Man thing, and I'll just lock yourself in the studio, leave a crack in the door, let God in.

It's like, bro, you're fucking Nas? I don't want to talk about Nas ever again. Ether? Oh, okay. Ether, yeah. Ether was just a bunch of gay jokes that's all it is he just he calls him gay like five times you know it really does it's it's just like he calls him a homo gay and the f word i'm like this is okay man like whatever you know what happened was i was just listening

to an interview um i forget who it was maybe it was lenny s but about how jay-z took that loss because on hot 97 there was a vote back then, if you call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, all right, I lost the battle. So he conceded the loss, but I still don't believe that Takeover was worse than Ether or less impactful. No, so the problem was the whole thing where his mom told him to stop it and he went down. Yeah, but all of that was – he shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have done that he shouldn't have like like why not well because if you want to win the battle yeah because you

shouldn't you like he should have just held the line of like like takeover assassinates naz's career as a rapper and like don't forget that was just like poof you're gone now you're done two songs and then like uh ether ether is a great name and phrase that became part of like the lexicon it was a good beat uh but like the actual verse is kind of like hacky joke like hacky yeah yeah you know it's not like and there's a couple like veiled things that i think i i learned later in life where i don't remember them now but but I remember reading like, oh, this is actually like, you know, there's more to this line than I realized. And if that's true, that is like a pretty, you know, a pretty serious bar.

But like on the whole, like what Jay-Z says about like, you got one good album and the rest is garbage. You know, like your whole shtick in the beginning was stories you've heard because you were a kid and hadn't even lived it yet. yeah all of that to me is like i actually thought the same thing about drake and push a t like all right push a t uh outed you about having your kid yeah okay drake was talking about how like you're a fake fucking drug coke rapper now and you're not that anymore like yeah i think that's way worse than yeah okay you found out something about my personal life and you put it on blast but let's talk about what i said about you as a rapper because that's what we're here to fucking

do you know yeah but these days it's all about like what even the way pusha t put out that picture with drake as the in the blackface like all that like winning the battle is almost like a a pr rollout now it's not just about the song and the bars it wasn't even a real battle you had takeover then ether then super ugly which got retracted if naz put out another song in response to super ugly then we have a real contest i think super ugly was a bit of a misstep too because i feel like that was like kind of rushed like i feel like i feel like it was and that that was what that was more resting upon like the i fucked your baby mama sort of shit right it's heated in your jeep yeah yeah i think if it if it was more of a like another another song on an album sort of thing yeah that was what

was awesome too is that it was a song on an album like yeah this is not some like mixtape shit in the street like uh give me a beat and like i'll i'll do a verse over that it was like this is a studio track on an album and yep and i fucking buried you and it was debuted at a summer jam did you see the video of that no that came out relatively recently like within the last year the bad quality because i heard yeah terrible quality i've heard the audio of it but the video is fucking sick first of all everyone's in 2001 garb you know jerseys and fucking big shorts and jordans and shit and you see the summer jam screen he's like pointing to it and the crowd's going bananas did you ever go to summer

jam uh no never never braved that i went to the up and smoke tour i went to the up and smoke tour i went to the uh the um best of both worlds yeah me too when r kelly had the meltdown and ran off state that friday yeah i was like is this part of the show or like what's going on here and then jay just like came back out on state when r kelly was like i'm sorry i'm sorry i can't and now looking back on it it's like oh that was just like a weird rapist going through like a fucking crazy uh crazy episode where it was happening yeah that's pepper pepper sprayed him but he thought someone in the crowd had a gun right right bro i saw the Best of Both Worlds Thursday night at Nassau Coliseum.

Friday night was the show you're talking about at MSG. It was over. Saturday night brought in a bunch of guests, and I don't want to talk about Jay-Z too long, but I will. Don't give a fuck. Sunday night, I went to that show. So you went four nights in a row? No, no, no. I only went Thursday and Sunday. So Thursday, I went, saw

R. Kelly and Jay-Z. Incredible. Friday night, that thing happened. Saturday night was all guests. Right. Sunday, all guests again. But this was the most electric maybe moment in music in my entire life that I've ever seen. He brought out everybody, dude. Then at the end of the show, this is when this song could not have been bigger you hear

snoo and snoop comes walk comes walking out and the lights in the arena the house lights went on it looked like everybody was fighting like that's how much people were losing their mind because back then you're like how did he get here he's from california it's like he jumped on a plane but right six hours you're here it's not that big of a deal but back then things're like, how did he get here? He's from California. It's like, he jumped on a plane, but six hours, you're here. It's not that big of a deal. But back then, things like that didn't happen.

That crossover type shit was like... And bro, Jay-Z is the greatest of all time. Yeah, that's just a fact. That's really all I'm saying. Did you see the latest clip of him on the LeBron show

where he was talking about being on tour with ZMX? Oh, yeah. When he was like, he was like, he came out... Made him step up his performance. Yeah, he came out and him step up his performance yeah

he came out and spit a whole bunch of bars the guys were growling took off his shirt in the middle of the show so the girls were screaming and then he did a prayer to close his act

and then Jay-Z's like and then I go out there it's hard not to and I was like he's even humble yeah I mean we can sit down and talk about that

maybe that's what we do you do the true crime I'll do this and then we have just the Jay-Z podcast Do you want to start a Jay-Z podcast? I kind of want to start a Jay-Z podcast I will not lie I'm not like on your level

I love the guy I just don't know We could do a music podcast When his catalog first went to Spotify Yeah We sat down Me and my brother sat down And did like a three hour podcast

Just going like record by record And people loved it It was like a one off But the people who did listen Were like that was fucking amazing you should do more of that if there's if there's one guy you could do it for it would be jay-z yeah there's uh on you know the song hovey baby hovey baby too do you know that song the remix yeah i mean uh it's him and uh some girl i forget who it is but he said he said on there on hovey baby he says i'm so far ahead of my time about to start another life on this song he, I'm so far ahead of my time, I'm about to start another life.

On this song he says, I'm so far ahead of my time, these rhymes is weak till four years later, they're on timed release. And then he said, I'm so far ahead of my time, it'll take you to copy a fourth copy to realize every track needed an autopsy. The guy's fucking unbelievable, dude. Leave it on that note.

That's it. I mean, he's the best. He's the greatest. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.