KFC Radio - Girls Gotta Eat Addresses Rayna's SHOCKING Instagram Story - Full Episode

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Girls Gotta Eat joins us for the entire episode to discuss - their recent cosmetic surgeries - the odd characters they've hooked up with - choking and being choked in bed - Rayna accidently sexting KFC - texting compatibility with a partner - their new sex toy business venture - and much more. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hellofresh: Go to https://barstool.link/HFKFC and use code KFC16 for 16 free meals across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts Mattress Firm: To Unjunk your Sleep, go to https://barstool.link/MFRMBSS or a Mattress Firm store today and speak with a Sleep Expert NHTSA: Drive Sober or Get Pulled Over. Roman: Get $15 off your first order of Roman T-Support at https://barstool.link/ROMANkfc WhistlePig Whiskey: Get your bottle at https://barstool.link/WPKFCYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. So we can't be like, yeah, suck a dick and then fuck on it. Suck a dick and then fuck on it. We got new tattoos. We got new tits. We got it all, right? I do. Yeah.

We have new tats. Every time I come here, I feel like there's like a big update in our life. Tats. Tats and tots. I think I have my new face last time, so.

You did? You have your new nose? Yeah. I've always had my new teeth when I was younger. Wait,. Tats and tots. I have my new face last time. You did? You have your new nose? I've always had my new teeth when I was younger. Wait, I don't think I knew that. My new face? I don't think I noticed it now, but I don't think you... Listen, it was bad. But I don't think you announced it last time, or I don't think I noticed.

You were slick with it. Yeah. Good job. People are like, you look so good. I'm like, I know. I paid money for it. I got plastic surgery on the main thing on my face. Yeah, totally.

Jackie's about to get hers. Jackie had the dream, though. She got word from the doctor that it's a deviated septum. So it's medical. But we know what's up. I have no shame in doing that. Jackie's going to be a combination of you two. Yeah, that's right.

She's got the breast reduction and the nose. You got a breast reduction too? Yeah. When did you get that done? Are you trying to be

us? At 15? She had bombs. You knew way ahead of time. You knew way ahead of time. How big were

your boobs? Oh my god, we have so many questions. It's in Long Island. Oh, okay. Then it's not the same one.

Anyway, Ashley's got a guy. I don't have a guy. Sorry, I'm on that Manhattan. Are we recording? Yeah, it is. Great.

Okay, I do not have a guy. I hate the guy that did my breast reduction. I'm going to get done again. She has to get done again. Oh, no.. Sorry, I'm on that Manhattan route. Are we recording? Yeah, it is. Great. Okay, I do not have a guy. I hate the guy that did my breast reduction. I'm going to get done again. She has to get it done again. Oh, no. It didn't work? I mean, look at my tits.

They're enormous. I was going to say. I didn't know if you were like, just take a little to top. He didn't suck out all that much fat. I met this guy this winter, and I said, blah, blah, blah. I said something like, I just got a breast reduction. He means, you mean you're getting a breast reduction. was like no i had just gotten one i went to sleep asking for a small seat and woke up with tits literally just the same size i was gonna say they do kind

of like the same would it hurt like you still went through the pain no actually like so a reduction is nothing like implants like they don't so for implants they separate the muscle from the bone it's really bad i woke up and i was like can somebody help me go to the bathroom they're like you can get up you can go to the bathroom and i was like oh i really i was i was up actually came over the next day probably a bad sign i had a friend who had a breast reduction but they fucked up her nipples not not not in the sense that they fucked up they didn't fuck up anything what they do they just put the wrong ones back on no no yes yes i swear to God. How does it matter?

One needs to be pierced. Stop. This is a crazy story. That's weird. You'd be like, wait a second. Dude, she showed me pictures of like, I don't know who's in this fucking delivery room. The doctor was taking the pictures. But she showed me pictures of her nipples off her tits.

Yeah, I didn't know they fully removed. They take them off because they call it an anchor scar. They go all around your nipple and they go straight down. Some people go under also. I did not have to, thankfully. My scars aren't bad. I'll show them to you later. It's thin and it's not that bad, but I didn't pay all this money for it.

Their table doesn't say left and right? No, it's just too funny. He's like, I'll remember. That's nuts because I remember getting surgery on my shoulder and they literally write R on my right shoulder and a marker and you say it like a thousand times where it's doing surgery on your right shoulder, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But I guess you're just like, you're doing like, is the ball underneath this one? That's so funny. She's like, wait, what the fuck? My right tit was pierced. What is that? That is crazy. It wasn't with the piercing, right?

No, no, no. I'll pierce things out for surgery. I can imagine my nose pierced. He's like, I'm going to work around it. You're like, I don't take out the piercing. That's my boundary. But it is funny, too, that you were like, I'll show you the scars later. Because I feel like with her, it is like, I'm like, did you get your tits reduced so you can flash people?

Because she's always like, yeah, do you want to see? And it's like, they're up right away. People with reductions aren't usually like that. People with implants will never be able to see. Take a look at them. Take a look at them. I guess, yeah, it's a change. I mean, it's harder for her to, like, for example, for her birthday,

people just started screaming, show your tits. This was two years ago. And it was hard to get one out. Like, she had to kind of reach in. I had a bodysuit up to my neck. She had to unbox it. Yeah.

I had to pull it out of the side. Get like a knife and shink, shink. I pulled one tit out the side. Now I can just go full down. I mean, it looked nice I just didn't pay all this money To wake up and have giant titties So you're going

Are you going to go to a new guy And pay again Or go back to the same guy And be like He's such a dick Because you don't want to go back To the guy who sucks But it's also like

I already paid you bro He was like We'll do it again And you're money back guaranteed I was like You're going to give me that money And you're going to do it again I would give the money back

And go to something new though No I don't want to speak for him. You got store credit for your tits. You got store credit with this plastic surgery. That's what we're talking about here. All right, that's my joke now.

I don't doubt that he's, I'm sure you went to like a top guy. I did. But like, I mean even, you know. He did a nice job. He was just horrible to me the whole time. Ashley came with me.

But he didn't because he didn't take anything out. No. I was like. If you go from like an F to a G or a total bro I'm not not doing small tits in this house no you know what it's like a chef who like I prepare the meal my way you know like oh It's like a chef who, like, I prepare the meal my way. You know, like, I'll make these tits what I think they should be. He's like, I'll be the judge of that, actually.

Like, Raina brings me in. She's like, I want them her size. He's like, ew. It's like, when I get nervous about how to order, like, if I'm, like, getting a new kind of meat at a restaurant. Chef's order? I go, like, chef's recommendation. And, like, Raina was nervous. I was like, I don't really know.

Chef's recommendation. I was a chef's recommendation. And like Raina was nervous. I was like, I don't really know. Chef's recommendation. I was like dealer's choice. Yeah. He just sucked on them a little bit. Left the room. Oh my God. He was like, do some scars or something. I was like, I want a C cup.

He was like, it won't come up again. Don't worry. And then he gets to be, Raina's like, well, they're still huge. He's like, they're swollen. You know, like he gets to kind of cover them. Yeah, well, they're still huge. He's like, they're swollen. You know, like he gets to kind of cover them. Yeah, right, right, right. It'll keep going down.

I said, I'm spilling out of my double D bras and he said, buy bras that fit. He's an asshole. He's like, dude, I bought tits that were supposed to fit.

I was like, motherfucker, I bought titties that would fit in these bras. It's the bras fault. Fuck you, man. I was so excited. I bought all these C-cup bras.

I was like, I'm about to fit in these little tittied bras. No offense. Look at these itty bitty C's. That's great. Imagine if every doctor's office you were ever in treated you like that. Doc, when my arm comes up here

it hurts. Don't fucking put your arm up there. Just don't do it. No, no, no. I'm thinking we fix the issue She's like no Why don't you just Not do that with your arm Like keep getting HPV

Stop having sex That's not happening That's not happening He teaches abstinence only Yeah So funny Yeah I mean If you pay for them

Gotta get them How was Your process was tough The nose Yeah Yeah I mean I just

Like they gotta Fucking break it. So my... They did it. So I was, like, a perfect nose. My nose was not so wide from the front. It just was, like, more of a side thing. So they kind of knew it going in, like, it's going to be really great for you.

Like, it's real to break it. Right, okay, cool, cool. It's just a little off the top, like you just said. But it was, like, my eyes weren't even black. Oh, wow. Like, it was, like, really quick recovery in the grand scheme of things it still sucks i mean it's still a one full week of a cast and like your nose is filled with dried blood it's not great you're like a mouth breather it's disgusting um but i mean i would say like three three and again i can't

only speak for my own experience which was great but three and a half weeks to the day which he called it was my like brother's wedding and i was in so many photos and I felt like I looked how I wanted to look. Oh, you cut it pretty close though, girl. I cut it close. She told me I could. Yeah. She looked great. She really did. Like, it really has changed her face so much. I mean, I've always thought she was beautiful.

You've thought about this forever? You know, I should have been. What made you pull the trigger? I should have been. Yeah, my shit was jacked up for a while. I thought about it and then it's funny because the doctor, basically this plastic surgeon,

the girl that works in the office is a fan of the show. So it's in Shore Hills, New Jersey. It's not close. It's about an hour ride out but she DM'd

and was like, I'd love to have you girls come in and just get some fillers, Botox and talk about it on the show. She's like, because you need it. Yeah, exactly.

I love that. I love that compliment. And so I go to his Instagram. He's like the number, and talk about it on the show. She's like, because you need it. Yeah, exactly. I love that. I love that compliment. And so I go to his Instagram. He's like the number one rhinoplasty guy in the world. Doesn't it always feel like that, though? Every surgeon is the top surgeon. Every doctor operated on the Yankees. I feel like everybody is always somebody good.

Listen, you're the number one nose job doctor in New Jersey. You're probably doing it. He's boozy. You're doing a lot of work. Are we talking quantity or quality though? That guy might just be shoveling them in there. He was.

So I just started researching him a little and it's funny because I was like, can we get on a call? You know, like I'd like to discuss something else and she just didn't see it coming. I went in for like a consultation. I was like,

what if I get a nose job? She's like, we didn't want to bring it up, but yes. What about a whole nose? It was, it's like, I want, there's people I see now where i'm like just do it yeah i'm like they just they don't know they need it yeah yeah to be that person if

you love your looks you should but right but also it could be awesome i know now be the kramer well i remember when kramer does that with like george's girlfriend he's like he's like you know what i need and he's talking about like ordering it at's girlfriend? He's like, you know what I need? And she's talking about ordering it at a restaurant. He's like, a nose job. That is so funny. And then she gets a nose job when she's too hot for George. Ah, that's a classic. I look at her nose job and I'm like, should I get one too?

I've always loved mine, but now I'm looking at yours and I'm like, could I get one? Well, I gotta get one now after your fucking comment yesterday. Listen, I never noticed how small Kevin's nose is. It's really small. Yeah, but it's fucking juxtaposed with mine. I will tell you, though. Kevin does have a tiny little nose. Let me redeem myself.

I feel like... Do we have the same nose? Kevin has a cute little button nose, doesn't he? I've been told that I have a swoop. A swoop is what I use. It's a feminine swoop. It's a swoopy swoopy. Yeah, it does look like a little girl nose.

When I first met you guys, I was a little more attracted to Kevin, but I feel like I'm switching. This bitch. I know, I'm, but I feel like I'm switching. This bitch. I know. I'm sorry. I feel like you shaved. I'm really into mustaches.

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and you can get the correct level of testosterone at getroman.com slash KFC for $15 off your order. Yeah, this is skin care. This is skin care. It's the mustache. I'm really into mustaches. Yeah? Mustaches are big dick energy on your face.

That's truly what they are. If you have a mustache, you have confidence, you have big dick energy. I don't know if that's what it was. It was born of like kind of. What? It was born of as like a jokey. And then I kind of just like. I don't know.

You started the trend. I thought when I shaved the beard I was going to shave it too. And I was like, I kind of miss the mustache. No, I like it. I feel like all the kids have mustaches now. I fucked a mustache this winter. And I've the kids have mustaches now I fucked a mustache this winter and I've been into it since then

I fucked a mustache I fucking I went on a mustache ride Raina will not fuck a guy that has hair on his head but she's like any other guy

I like no hair above the ears and a ton below the ears if there's a bald guy like if there's a bald security guard in Rainina's vicinity

like Ashley was talking to this guy and I was just like I'll take it from here no let's tell the story this is the same thing that happened

we are going through pass the baton we're going through passport control in Montreal like official business like passport border control the guys

like what were you here for we're like a comedy festival he's like you're a comedian I'm like I am and I'm thinking like am I gonna is this over and I started to realize he saw it and he was like can I ask you here for? We're like a comedy festival. He's like, you're a comedian. I'm like, I am. And I'm thinking like, am I going to, is this over? And I started to realize he's hot.

And he was like, can I ask you something? And I was like, sure. He was like, are you on Instagram? I was like, what?

And it just escalated to him hitting on me. Truly. Like he had no sense of urgency. He's looking at the podcast on the work on the computer. I'm like, is this official government? We're in an airport. There's a hundred people in line.

It's six people working. And Serena sees it and she's like, oh, fuck no. It's just a bald tattooed bouncer type. She comes over. She like hijacks my whole situation. She showed him videos on her phone. I'm like, what is going on?

I was like, I got you. I did cock block. Listen, Ashley knows that's my corner of the world. She can have everything else. It really is. Then we found out he's from Tampa and I'm like Raina's

even more turned on she loves to fuck she's like oh does he own snakes he's in every one of my boxes yes he's a security guard from Tampa that's

bald and has tattoos like that's it that I'll let you destroy my life and he will oh definitely I went to Australia and Raina fucked a

guy from Tampa somehow. That guy was from Columbia. That guy was from Columbia. That's the first guy that ever spit in my mouth. He really had sex with me like he hated women. He choked me a lot, spit in my mouth. Yeah, that was crazy. And then, yeah, COVID happened and my period was really late

and I was like mentally budgeting if I have this guy's baby like what am I going to have to do? You were budgeting for a baby? He was a bartender? I've been budgeting for someone else. He was a bartender?

That's when we get stuck at abortions, am I right? We still know it's a Mason Dixon. We're all right. He was a bartender at a place called Felon's. What?

This guy was hot but I had to wingman it and I had to order a beer flight. He was a bartender At a place called Felons What? This guy was hot But I had to wingman it And I had to order a beer flight I'm like I hate this Like I've never felt Less true to myself Yeah Than ordering this beer flight

Wow this guy You know what I waited her out She's come around She fucks the help too now She fucked our driver in Greece Okay These hoes

I love it Fuck the help I waited this bitch out Okay in Greece, okay? These hoes. I love it. What the hell? I've waited this bitch out, okay? I've been out here just singing the praises of waiters, bartenders, drivers. Manual labor all over. The recalling community,

thank you. If you get paid by the hour, Raina will fuck you. I will suck up a doorman and I waited Ashley out. If you have health insurance, Raina's like, not I will suck up a doorman and I waited Ashley out. Yo, if you have health insurance, Raina's like, not interested. If you have a LinkedIn profile,

I don't want it. I will not fuck you. I get that. That's very funny. Those guys probably do fuck the best, right? She can tell you. You want to fuck some, you know, like the classic patagonia best. With an HR department? No. Tattooeded like full body

tattooed let's throw you through the fucking ceiling driver who does jiu jitsu yeah dick me down it was amazing but wait

was it like a one time drive or like you had a driver for like the day or the week like it was just an uber driver were we going

Adriana Cechik just fucking uber drivers he was in a Mercedes van you know the type it's so funny that this guy picks me up in a passenger van I'm. Sprinter van. You know, the type. It's so funny that this guy picks me up in an eight-passenger van.

I'm like, he's got a Benz. I was going to say, a Mercedes is a little different. It's got sliding doors, okay? So it's got a wheelchair attachment on the back. What kind of Mercedes? It could fit 12 to 16 people. He drives a Benz. Everyone else had special needs in it.

It was weird. Oh my God. We had a driver who would either come pick us up or send someone else. He couldn't be there at our disposal the whole time. So we had this one guy. I would WhatsApp him, give him enough notice, and then pick us up or send someone else like he couldn't be there on at our disposal the whole time so we had this one guy i would whatsapp him you know give him enough notice and then he would come or send someone else so he sent this guy to fuck or drive both actually i paid for both no i'm kidding and he sends his guy and um we just told the story in chicks but i can i'll keep it brief but he sends this guy and he was late so he and i was kind of like feisty with him which he liked and somehow and he whatsapped me as soon as i got back in the house and he was like hitting on me i thought

it was gonna get kind of dirty like he had a dirty vibe about him but he was like i'm gonna come over tonight after work and bring a bottle of wine and massage you oh wow and i was like say less he picked me up you know in the in thez at the club that night. Where did you ride? Where in the sprinter van did you ride? That's a great question. Did you go all the way to the back? Did you sit in the front? Were you the first row seat in the back?

When he picked me up from the club. Everybody asked. It's a legitimate question. When we got to the house, they stayed behind. They stayed and partied and let me have the house and the hot tub and everything. But I was kind of thinking, was he serious about the massage? I could use a massage. That sounds better than the sex.

I got this kink right here. I know. I think of myself as an orgasm. Pull up in front of the house. You can't massage yourself. That's right. He has a bottle of really cheap wine and a bottle of baby oil. I was like, he did that.

You brought the baby oil? It made me laugh so hard. Some yellowtail and some baby oil. I was like, he did that. You brought the baby oil? It made me laugh so hard. Some yellowtail and some baby oil. Let's go. Literally, like, bodega-style booty kit. You know, like, it was crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I laughed so hard.

I laughed so hard. And he goes, oh, look at me making a comedian laugh. I was like, oh, no. And I was like, stop talking. Is there a language barrier to this? Oh, he was, I mean, no. A little accent maybe? He had an accent. He spoke perfectly.

Better than us. Not want to fuck guys without accents after that. It was a really great experience. And you got the good massage? I didn't get the massage. You brought an oil show? And he took the oil with him. He took it with him.

I was like, I got got. I thought I was going to leave this here with you. Yeah. I spent a good three. This is my $3.99. He had to go fuck another person. I was going to say, he's on to the next. Yeah.

And I was like kind of, I knew what it was. This was not someone I was, I mean, come on. I wasn't looking at this seriously. I thought maybe we would have like a little Greek romance. We'd fuck the next night. We were still there for two more nights. No way. No.

And Raina, I go, I said to Raina,a I said do you think he's gonna tell his boss and she was like his boss the other driver at the car company disclose this I think they all fuck the tourists I think they just go round and round and round I mean it is like he's obsessed with me he wants to stop texting me and I'm like actually he's 24 hours to fuck you it's an exploding offer he's like gotta get it in exploding over I feel like this is fine. Like, I figured out the female equivalent to a stripper.

When guys are like, she likes me, man. For real, she likes me. It's Greek drivers for you. No, we're dating. We're dating. I was like,

he's hitting it so hard. And Reno's like, yeah, he's trying to fuck you tonight. He has one goal, you know? And I was like, really?

This is either how you end up like getting dicked down by a Greek driver or you get human trafficked, by the way. Yeah, I can't believe you with that. That's what scares me. So I have an eight-person van just showing up to get this one girl. I'm like too tall. You would never human trafficked.

But I will say, I kind of had this thought. I asked you, we were at this club, Scorpio's. I was like, is this safe? And this guy's, yeah, he's the driver, but he doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't give a fuck energy. I will tell you at one point, we were fucking. He was doggy and he had me in a headlock, kind of. I kind of was a little scared but I was like, he's

just practicing. He does jiu-jitsu. He's just a man at work. I also weirdly like this but I feel like he could have done one swift movement and that's it. You guys don't like to choke. Your hands are kind of, do you like to choke? Yeah, no. It looks soft. I'm just as

gross as you guys but I'm just saying it makes more sense to me to want to I think I heard you guys say this on a clip or something. Didn't somebody, I think maybe you were a guest on a show I think and somebody said I like to choke and you thought that was weird. You're like mostly girls say they want to get choked but you thought that was weird. You're like, mostly girls say they want to get choked, but guys, that's not you?

Oh, a guy wanted to get choked. No, no, no, no. A guy specifically said, I like to choke girls. Oh, I like to choke. Maybe it wasn't you. It was another girl podcast. I don't know what it was. No, I would have been like, okay, come on.

Let's do it. I guess the point just being that usually it's a girl being like, I want to get choked, and a guy is like, I will acquiesce. Oh, a lie. As opposed to like, I want to choke you. Yeah, I don't i will acquiesce as opposed to like i don't want to choke you yeah i don't i don't go in being like i have an enthusiastic choker's little i'll take it i'll take it i i'm not i'm not over here i want enthusiasm i mean i don't a guy that's like i gotta choke you like i don't know if i want that i had a guy choke me last week and he

he his it was the energy didn't mean it you can tell when they don't mean it i feel like this guy had like a more feminine energy and he wasn't dirty talking but then he came out the gate and kind of choked me and pushed me up against the wall i'm like you gotta say something like oh i'm just coming in hot like dirty talking and you can't back it up like this these aren't matching you it's like you have like one aggressive movement and then the rest of the sex is like there yeah you're being like I keep you on your toes I just want to know that you mean it like I like to be called

a slut in bed but like I can tell when you don't mean it you know I'm not like really a slut so I can tell when they're like you're not

well I also hear I also hear a lot how it's not about like choking here it's more about choking there and I'm I'm going straight windpipe man I'll tell you what

just cry yeah like I'm going straight windpipe, man. I'll tell you what. Just karate chop. Yeah, like, yeah. I'm going, I want to try to, like, it's like, I'm glad people like, about the blood flow thing.

Okay, I don't know what you're, I'm going for the oxygen. Well, light pressure, Cap. Just light pressure. The things that guys do wrong is the karate chop and then is too much fingertip pressure That hurts, yeah.

Mm-hmm. It's got to be a cuff. Yeah, I agree with that. A cuff, great call. But I'm also saying that, like, this here is getting some yeah. It's got to be a cuff. Yeah, I agree with that. A cuff, great call. But I'm also saying that, like, this here is getting some pressure. It's got to be both. I just don't have the core straight.

I'm doing, like, a fucking push. You're not choking at all? No, no, no, no, no, no. If I took a mustache ride, you'd choke me a little bit. No, I choke every time, but it's just... I'm not going to be like,

just, you know, my first move, I choke you out. Yeah. I do think it's becoming pretty common it's very common but you can't ever use it I like dated somebody

who like always called me a whore every single time in bed and I like it people like vary it a little bit what you do like slut and then whore and dumb bitch

just gang I don't like that I don't like dumb bitch except for me I want you to tell me I'm pretty and then I'm funny you don't like slut and whore I don't do it

I love it I've never had it I like aggressive I don't really like and whore on it I don't do it no I don't love it I've never had it I like aggressive that I really like dirty talk but it's more complimentary yeah I want it that is such a funny I would yeah do you think about like the flip side huh you pathetic little bitch what the fuck yeah no I don't like that I don't like like I wouldn't want you to hit me I don't know I I've never I've never had it I've never never requested it. I never will request it. I think if a man wants that,

he should go to therapy. That's some like fin-dom shit. I think if you find guys that are super alpha, really high functioning, fucking killing it in finance, they're the ones that want it.

Yeah, it's like the billionaires want it. I've seen that come to mind. It's like the fin-dom shit. It's like I'm a billionaire and you need to tell me what my money is.

Your beta boys do not want to be told. I fucking know, dude. Jesus Christ. That is funny though so you want like dirty talk but like positive

well so I was we had Nikki on you're doing so great at work Ashley always says she wants me to like compliment her comedy you very pretty little thing

I was just talking about this we had Nikki Glazer on we were talking about it like guys need to be like you're so sexy you're so hot I want to fuck you so bad like just

we all want that yeah yeah that makes perfect sense I need more of like I don't maybe you don't think I'm hot I don't know to fuck you so bad. Like, just, we all want that. Yeah, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Like, it needs to, I need more of, like, I don't, maybe you don't think I'm hot. I don't know why you're here. I guess because it's, like, but, like, say it. No, that makes perfect sense. You know, it's just like, I'm here. I also, I'm choosy with my compliments.

I don't want you getting too big a head. Stop fucking me. I'm saying it back. Wait a minute. I tell you nothing. I'm going to fuck you. What am I fucking this pathetic loser for? I got to go fuck a doorman. That Wait a minute. I tell you nothing. What am I fucking this pathetic loser for? I gotta go fuck a doorman.

That's a new driver. The help. No, I just, I like to return it. Like, you know what I mean? Oh, I do it too. I'm just as vocal. I'll actually like cowboy a whole Dirty Talk session. I don't need you to say much.

I just need to show up a little bit. I'll take it from here. Like, I got this. I feel like about that with like the actual sex part too. I'll take it from here. Like, I'll do the joke feel like about that with, like, the actual sex part, too. I'll take it from here. Like, I'll do the joke. I'll slap you around. I'll throw you around.

Like, just need the body parts and the consent. You need to be nimble so you can throw them around. We live in a land of junk sleep. Feidelberg gets junk sleep all the time. Passes out on the couch. Will sleep on a hardwood floor just like he's Jason Bourne. People who just don't take their sleep seriously get junk sleep. And you know what happens when you get junk sleep?

You get junk work. You get junk life. You're late to your meetings. You miss your deadlines. Whatever it may be, your performance level starts to lack. And don't get me wrong. Everybody does this.

Oh, I want to watch one more episode. Or I'm going to stay up for another hour. Or I'm going to lack. And don't get me wrong. Everybody does this. Oh, I want to watch one more episode or I'm going to stay up for another hour or I'm going to, oh, don't worry. I don't need to come to bed. All these things mean you get junk sleep and you get junk life. But if you go to Mattress Firm right now, you can un-junk your sleep.

They know that junk sleep is what leads to a shitty day the next day. So go to mattressfirm.com or you can go to a mattress firm store and unjunk your sleep with a quality mattress that matches your sleep preferences. They guarantee that they'll find

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the mix is that I actually don't want to be called those things by somebody that I think means them. I like, listen, the most human

that hates women. You can feel the guy hating you. Yeah. Kevin knows how I dirty talk because I accidentally sent him a text message that I meant to send

to my boyfriend. What? Have we talked about this? It was humiliating. You and I talked about it on your show. It's a two-star. I mean, I was texting with him. Him and my ex had the same first letter to their name. He's not dead.

He's alive. But the name begins with a K, so I was texting both of them at the same time. We were talking about something. I forget what, but you said something. It was about, like, what are you doing this weekend? And I was texting my boyfriend and I said something horrifying. Like, I wish you were here to snuggle me on

the couch and then he stopped responding they both stopped responding to me and I was like weird no one ever responded to me I was like I mean

I like a good snuggle sesh are you watching stranger things that's such a bad setup did you see it come through in the

moment and you were like how do I handle this I don't remember having like like it things that's such a bad setup did you see it come through in the moment I'm pretty sure I did I don't remember having like like it was that's weird you were dating and then I was like come over and snuggle me

it was horrifying could you like but what if he what if Kevin came back being like oh fuck door's open yeah like yeah

that's why it would have been fucking bizarre I don't know I would have been like that's such a hard spot you put him in because it's either like either I completely ignore it

and then I'm a dickhead if she seriously meant it or I fucking reply I'm like alright I'll come over did you take an hour about an hour I think about 25 minutes

went by and I realized neither of them was responding and the thing I sent him didn't it did sort of make sense in the line

of the conversation yeah I remember it being like not too far I would have rather said to him, I want to suck your cock than I want to snuggle you on the couch. Totally. Your whole rep is out the window.

I'm Reina. I fuck dudes from Tampa. Yeah, right, dude. I'm Reina. I wear a fucking snuggie with my boyfriend. Kiss me on the forehead. Butterfly kisses. Kiss me on the forehead.

Okay, I have a text message thing to tell you guys about. I want to get your take on this. I'm going to talk about the two texts. This is crazy. So I, there's this guy, we've gone on like a couple dates, whatever. He doesn't live here. He lives a place, I don't want to give too many details. He lives a place where I frequent.

Wait, like a place, a bar? It's a vacation. When I go there, I'll hit him up. And recently I went and I was like a place, a bar? Like I said, vacation. Oh, okay. And so when I go there, I'll like hit him up, you know. And recently I went and I was like, hey, I'm here for the, I was only here for the weekend, but I'm coming back and I'll be here for like a week. So I kind of want to see him. And I sent him that. It was nice.

It was just like, just hope you're having, how's your summer going? I hadn't talked to him in a couple months. And back to back, I got two texts from him that, one was very enthusiastic. One was like, hey, how's it going? Can you read it? They got to hear like the, ah, you're, okay. He was just like, hey, how's it going? I hope you're having a great summer.

Yeah, I'd love to see you when you come back. And the other one was like, cool, hit me up when you come back. Like two. Without you saying anything in between? Nothing in between. So you think he was like testing one out and testing? I think he like maybe wrote both. Yeah.

And somehow set both. I have no idea what happened to him. What? That's a catastrophe. It was like option one and option two. It's like choose your own adventure. Yeah. And somehow set both. I have no idea what happened to him. What? That's a catastrophe. It was like option one and option two. It's like choose your own adventure. And they came back to back. You should have like, you can like double, you know, double tap which one you like.

My first question was. Do you want me to be the asshole or do you want me to be the nice guy? I was like, Ashley, how much time went in between these text messages? She was like, back to back. Back to back. And then I responded, I was like, so which one do I, which time do I see? So I think he was probably like discussing it with somebody else, like texting on the side, being like, like workshopping a little text.

Yeah. And I think he probably, I was going to say he like cut and pasted one, right? But then once you've sent one. You know what you've sent. Maybe he just was drinking or maybe got confused. I mean, it was very clear. What about maybe he tried to. What time was it?

It was later. What about like. This is like 10. So. You know when if the bar is still going, you can stop it. I think he thinks he unsent the bar. You can? So he.

What? If the bar is going and you click more. Oh, yeah. Trash bag. Trash can. It won't send. That is what I think. So I think he did that.

And the cute one was first. Yeah. So, yeah. But that's kind of. I don't know. I feel like that's. That's endearing. Yeah. Like he was first? Yeah. So, yeah. But that's kind of, I don't know. I feel like that's. It's endearing. Yeah.

Like, he was, like, about it. And then maybe his boys were like, dude, you are such a pussy. You, like, you showed that girl that you liked her. And he was like, oh, okay. Yo, what's up, bitch? Like, you know. I think that's actually super awkward for him. But he probably doesn't realize.

Because he probably thinks, like, I unsent it. What I did was I kind of responded to the first one. Like, the first one had a question in it. So I answered the question. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I'ment it, we're good. What I did was I kind of responded to the first one. Like the first one had a question in it, so I answered the question. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm going to respond to the first one. I want you to know I got both. Yes. Did he respond?

He probably just. But I don't even know if it worked. Did you reply to the first one? Thumbs up one and thumbs down. I don't know if it would work though, because he's gone, right? What would he see? He didn't respond after that.

I think he might be embarrassed. I don't know. I mean, he definitely to this gone, right? What would he see? He didn't respond after that. I think he might be embarrassed. I don't know. I mean, he definitely to this moment has not responded. Yeah, but I was also like, this is when I'm coming back, I'll let you know.

And he didn't respond to that. I think he was just like, stop it. Yeah, that's a tough one. That is a tough one. This is why I'm anti-text. I think there's too much. You don't text.

I don't really text. I think there is too much. He's been thumping this drum for like a decade. Every second. Every time I see a fucking window, I fucking bring really text. I think there is. He's been thumping this drum for like a decade. Every second. Every time I see a fucking window, I fucking bring it up. It is. It is.

There's too much room to fuck up. If we're on the phone, I'm not sending you both text messages. Are you calling? Look, I'm not a psychopath. Oh, no, I like calling. I got into it with this guy that liked to FaceTime like every night. He liked to FaceTime me and I loved it. I didn't like it for a while and then I loved it.

Yeah, but you know what's tough with that? I feel like people FaceTime for like the wrong reasons. Like what? Almost like controlling like and you know they are. You know what I mean? No, that's not how I feel. I mean, I guess some people will FaceTime for the wrong reason. I just want to be on the phone.

I love it. Ashley knows I'll be on the phone for hours every night all the phone day. Are you not texting like you have a girlfriend, right? No. Not anymore? No. Oh, I'm kidding. I'm busy.

You're dating. Are women like, this sucks? John does not do what you're thinking. I'm not, yeah. John is an anomaly, man. You guys should have him on Girls Gotta Eat and dissect his brain. You don't text, you don't date. What do you mean I'm not dating?

You do have a skincare routine. Are you celibate? No, no, no. I'm having sex. John's text, you don't date. What do you mean I'm not dating? You do have a skincare routine. Are you celibate? No, no, no. I'm having sex. John's never been on a first date. I'm not like actively trying to date people. John's never been on a first date.

You like meet people at work? It's like everybody that he's ever then gone out with multiple times. So have I. Anybody that he's ever like slept with,

been with, or then has gone out to dinner with, he's already previously known for, they're in the same friend circle, they're co-workers, they're whatever. So there's never been like a,

hi, like I've just met you for the first time, can I take you out to dinner? Never. And will never. I'll die first. I don't,

it's like, it's interesting to never have done it, but I don't think it's like that crazy. Like the dream is to meet people in the world that you just like, you're friendly with and then you start dating.

Yeah. I've never like gone to someone in the bar Fuck people from bars, but like that was just kind of like that's almost that you drown and fuck It's kind of like we're together all night and then it just kind of like yeah assumes us and we fuck It's not like I'm not like excuse me like you're so pretty like Getting shit It's not like, I'm not like, excuse me, like, you're so pretty. Like, what you're describing is getting shit-faced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're drunk at a bar. We've been to bars before.

Yeah. Did you have a long-term girlfriend? Yeah, I've had a couple. And then do you go on dates as a couple? Yeah, yeah, well, of course. But that doesn't count as, like, a... And when somebody texts you... He also describing, too, like, he meant also, like, you know, you get the nervous, like,

oh, my God, we're going out for the first time. I got to, like, put on a nice outfit, this, that, the other thing. It's always been like, I already know them, so whatever. Do you have an nervous, like, oh my god, we're going out for the first time. I got to put on a nice outfit. Never. I already know them, so whatever. Do you have anxiety? Oh, yeah. He's like, here, baby. He throws up every day. He throws up.

That's not good anxiety. That's just a weak gag reflex. This is a bad gag reflex. Have you ever thrown up on a date? No, fuck no. No. Dude, when I throw up on those videos, I'm participating in gross things. I'm in here when you throw up.

You've served in front of us before. It's not like you can have some spaghetti. Hang on. It's like, do you want to eat gefilte fish? Yeah, disgusting. Oh, yeah. So I have more text message questions. So when you were actually dating somebody, you liked somebody, if they text you, will you text back?

Yeah, but it's bare minimum. Very little. Very little. Very infrequent and very short. I say I treat text messages how text messages were meant to be had. You want to have a conversation? Give me a shout.

Let's fucking talk. But texts were invented to be like, quick, we need a quick answer here, quick hit here. It's not like we're not going to have a chat. When I told Kev I wanted to snuggle him, it was hours of texting. What I do agree with him is

that also text message combos never end. There's not, when they invented the double tap thing, that kind of is usually like a, okay, we're done here. But when it's just back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, it's like, eventually, or you just like, do you do it till you're going to bed? You know what I mean? It depends on the person. I back forth it's like eventually are you just like do you do it till you're going to bed you know what i mean like depends on the person i know it's like this is because then you like do you say goodbye ghosting ghosting someone's ignoring

someone's you know like there's never a natural we did a texting episode we talk about it all the time i mean it's a real thing yeah to just discuss in like the dating world oh now i i know he's against it but i feel like now it's like you need to know how to text as part of your. There was a time where I think I just stopped caring about stuff. But there was a time where I was like, oh, I had text game. Well, that's also the thing. I think I used to enjoy it. It was a game, not in a bad way, like playing games.

It was fun. It was like coming up with jokes and witty banter and all that. But, you know, you do get a little bit older and you just start to just not fucking care. I mean, there's stuff like people that over-text. You've got to take a step back. I used to be a guy who texted throughout a show. Now, like, my phone buzzes during a show. I'm like, I'm watching fucking TV.

What could you possibly? It's 9.30. Who the fuck is disturbing me at 9.30 on a Tuesday night? It's hard to get a text back from me after 10. Yeah, unless you're talking to me, it's hard to get a text from me later today. But I need somebody to match my texting language. I love it. I love texting.

I want to sex a lot. That's totally important that if you don't text and you do text, that's not going to work. I think that's almost like, I think you have to be sexually compatible, textually compatible, and television compatible. Whistlepig Whiskey. You a pig now? That's my pig.

That's my pig of a co-host right now. His name is the Berg. Piggy Berg. What was that? He ran out of gas? I honestly don't know. Was that like a reverse oink? I was trying to stop oinking, and I was like, I was transitioning back into a human boy.

From Piggy Berg back to John Feidelberg. That was my pig. That was my pig mascot. When you go to the Whistlepig farm They have two pigs that live on the farm Mortimer Jr. and Mauve Maeve, Mauve And when we get to the Farm

Their Pig population increases by one Because Feidelberg hops in the goddamn pig pen With them And last time we were there He started eating their food We brought out a bucket of slop food, all of these lettuce and apples and strawberries, and Feidelberg started eating them instead of feeding it to the pigs.

They were delicious. They were delicious. They were really good. I will be honest, the strawberries were delicious, but the thought of eating the pig slop is very funny. Yeah. And you are nothing but an absolute human pig who can consume pig food. And consumes high-class whiskey.

That's the thing. Final Burger is a paradox. You are a paradox, like you've always been. You grew up bougie, but you are a trash person. That's the same way with your preferences of food and drink. You'll eat like an absolute slob, but when it comes to whiskey, only the best. And when it comes to Whistlepig whiskey,

the best cocktail you can have with that is the maple syrup old-fashioned. Right here, they've to Whistlepig Whiskey, the best cocktail you can have with that is the maple syrup old-fashioned. Right here, they've got Whistlepig Maple Syrup. I'm just going to take a quick hit of this. Ah! That maple syrup is so good. I will be honest. Usually, maple syrup,

I only like the fake stuff. Real maple syrup has always been trash to me because it's almost just like drinking sap. They're bitter. This is real Vermont maple syrup, but with the sugar, that makes it absolutely delicious. It is one of the few whisks. I'm the same as you. The other syrups, the plastic bottle syrups, usually my speed.

Those are the ones. This is where it's at. And you mix that with 100% rye whiskey from Whistlepig, and it becomes the best cocktail. Usually Whistlepig I just drink straight or on the rocks, but I don't mix it with anything. The only thing I will do it with is to make the maple syrup old-fashioned. It is unbelievable. So you can get the syrup and the whiskey right now at whistlepigwhiskey.com. You know what I'll do?

Let's do, you know, I've got the three bean gang, and everybody always sends me pictures of their martinis with the three beans. We will also do the maple syrup squad. The maple syrup squad. The syrup, we'll just do Syrup Squad. So you tag Whistlepig and use the hashtag Syrup Squad and send me pictures of your old-fashioned, with the big, nice ice cube and however you make it.

Maybe you have the orange twist or whatever. Anything to dress up your Whistlepig maple syrup old-fashioned, you send us the pictures, we'll retweet them, and we'll start the Syrup Squad today. Go to WhistlepigWhiskey.com-fashioned. You send us the pictures. We'll retweet them, and we'll start the syrup squad today. Go to whistlepigwhiskey.com or click the link below in the YouTube description. I think if you're not those three things, you will not have a fun relationship. I had a girlfriend on a group text today. We were talking about TV shows, and she's like,

I just haven't been able to watch it because my husband isn't really into it. And I was like, what? It's in a chill down my spine. And the other friend was like, do you guys not have separate TVs? This is why I'm not interested in living with somebody like you can't watch what you want to watch like and eat what you want to eat sleep what you want to sleep and then it's weird when you go into the other I'm gonna watch what I want in the other well I know but it but it does feel I feel weird like so I love the M mets and the baseball's on like every fucking night you know so if i'm dating someone i'm like i'm already just like i have to watch like 162 mets games over the next

few months and i want to but i don't want but i and then like i've had girls be like you know it's fine it's okay it's like but i know you don't want to watch the mets game i'll follow along on my phone we can put on this that it's a whole a whole thing. It gives me anxiety. That would annoy me. I'm not going to be with somebody probably that has my same taste. But then the flip side is like. That would annoy me. 160 nights in a row, we got to just watch baseball? Or the flip side is like, okay, we don't have to.

Can I go downstairs and watch the game while you're over here? Yeah, we talk about it all the time on our show. I want to have separate lives from my man. That should be totally normal. Go to your little area. But that's not. Like, I know I'm totally with you. Like, yeah.

But I think a lot of people would be, like, insecure about that. Be like, we don't even, like, we don't hang out. I just, and it's probably. It's hard for me to process this. It's probably my, not in projection, but, like, if I've done that before. I'm just going to go into the room

and watch what I want. And they're like, fine, go ahead. And it feels, like, rude almost, right? It feels like, and I don't even think that, and watch what I want. And they're like, fine, go ahead. And it feels like rude almost, right? It feels like... And I don't even think that the fine, go ahead had an ulterior motive or was said with tone. I think they genuinely meant like, yeah, go ahead. And I get into the room and I'm just like,

they're going to be so fucking mad. Well, that's also we're battered and bruised. I mean, someone did that to me when my ex and I were breaking up. He was like, I feel like you don't even like me. You don't even like the same TV shows and movies. And I was like, do you know how many Marvel movies I've gone to just to make you happy? I don't fucking like this shit. No, I hate this.

I'll make some concessions. But like, I'm not watching 160 baseball games. No, but that's the thing. I don't want you to. I don't want to. But I'm just like, I want to. But you can. Yeah.

But I'm surprised that you think it's surprising that there would be girls, girlfriends who would be like, okay, every single night for the summers and spring and fall, we won't be watching TV together. It is crazy. And I try. That's why I'm like, I'm not going to watch every single night. I don't care. But my thing, I guess, is like, can you do – you can't miss one?

Like, will you – I'm like – yeah, no, no, no. That's what I mean. My ex wouldn't go to a wedding with me because there was a – Right. There's crazy people. His sports football – his college team was on. And I was like, this feels like an addiction.

Yeah. I mean, baseball is weird. Like, what you're talking about with football, if it is – because there's only a few games. There's way less. Football, you play 10 games. It's like I gear up for these three months and that I would it depends on like alma mater what the game

was all that I know that it's crazy baseball is stupid so that's why I'm like I want to watch but I'm not going to make you and I'm not going to like not if there's a game on will you not miss it and you won't like go out to dinner I'll go out to dinner,

but I'm like, I'm going to be checking my phone, I'm going to be looking at the score. There's a lot of games. It's so stupid. And it is an addiction. I hate it. I'm like,

I wish I didn't like this. I mean, I love football. I think like, we've kind of like paid less attention to sports. I still love sports. Yeah,

but Mets is the last thing for me. It's not like my job anymore. It used to be a job. A lot of our life here, Marshall, that was my job. So I was heavily invested in everything. It's not like my job anymore. Like there's a lot of our life here. Marshall, like that was my job. So I was heavily invested in everything. Now I'm like,

yeah, I'll go to a fucking wedding and I'll miss the game. I'll survive. I think there's a healthy amount. And my ex also, it's now his job. And so it's like good for him. He figured it out.

But it got to a point where I was like, I don't know how to handle this. Like, this is like, we can't, you can't go to my best friend's wedding. That's a bit much. It's in Tulum. And we don't know if there's going to be the game on.

That's stupid. Oh, that's crazy. That's nuts. Like, it got to a point. And he worked on it within the relationship, and I'm sure it's healthier now. But it was a thing, and he kind of warned me. He was like, I got to tell you. Bro, I've definitely done that, too.

I don't make it through a lot of football seasons with girlfriends. I was like, ha! It's almost like the – Oh, my God! It's like your pilot feeling you know like buckle up like like you know uh turbulence is coming it's like you know i appreciate the honesty i wish more people on first dates would be like these are all the fucked up stuff about me are you trying to get involved in this because like i don't want anybody that does and we say this all the time i do not want anybody that does anything all the time i don't want you to have some crazy diet. I work out all the time. I love it.

I'm not going to forgo fun things just to stay home and work out. I'm not going to be like, we've got to go from this bar so I can get up in the morning. I don't want to hear about anything all the time. It makes me feel crazy. Well, that's the thing. I'll never talk to you about my sports stuff. I don't want you to be involved in it. You're just going to be about it.

I just want to try to find a way where I can do it and you are not, you know, you're fine. I just don't think, I mean, men and women need to align on the TV. It's crazy. I think of my mom and dad, who I think is the most elite couple in the world, still so happily married after 40 years. I mean, they would never.

They come together sometimes and watch stuff. They don't watch TV together. They watch some things together, but they watch a lot of stuff separate. My dad would never watch the dumb shit my mom watches. I think marriage is also different, too. My parents are the same. Once sports, because my dad watches the Sox here and there, but the Bruins are his team and the Pats are his team.

So maybe in the fall and winter it'll be different, but just every night now they're just watching. I'm watching Blackbird because I went home and I started watching it with them. But it's also – Your parents watch cool TV shows. It's just the popular TV shows. My dad wants to watch – the running joke is that if you go to my parents' house at any time, there's some fucking Nazi on the television because he's always watching World War II stuff. And my mom is always like, I just can't do

the Nazis anymore. It's a very funny statement. And my mom actually is a Mets nut. So she's kind of like doing the baseball thing. Every night? Yeah.

My dad's like that. I did 75 baseball every night. But they're separate because they're like, you know, old and all that shit. I think when you're younger and you're still dating

or if you, like, if you don't live together, so it's like you're, this is a night together, you know? dating or if you like if you don't live together so it's like you're this is a night together you know and then i'm like i don't you know i don't want to make you watch like three and a half hours of baseball do you but i do think like when forget about sports i think when you're watching tv it needs to be i'm sure it's like okay you want to watch like let's be stereotypical about it i'm gonna watch a game sometimes you can watch bravo sometimes but yeah the bachelor but sometimes. The Bachelor. Yeah, The Bachelor. But when Game of Thrones or The Sopranos or Stranger Things or the big ones, those things are out.

You have to align on that shit. I love that. I think it's fun to have a show with somebody. I think having shows together is one of the more modern day romance things that we do. I think so. When you don't watch without them and all that kind of shit, it's like a weird little show of romance. It's like bank accounts. You should have your own and we should have one together.

Agreed. Yes, that's exactly, that's a great analogy for it. But I think, yeah, I mean, my parents... I had a friend get a joint bank account in college. With a girl? With a girlfriend? A girlfriend. Holy moly. And they put their fucking picture on it.

Two of them on the card. On the picture? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did she put her? Like a joint Facebook? I have questions about this. Did she put her money in or just his money and she joined in? And was one of them wealthy?

Yes. I'm going to guess it was most of his money. That sounds great. I love that. That sounds amazing. That chick is smart. Actually, I'm going to take it back. I'm going to take it back I'm gonna take it back

Cause like She was like an independent woman And so I don't think She'd be like One she's 18 Like fill this Yeah I think we were

This is like our junior college She's an independent woman She worked at the food hall She's probably like 20 But I don't think She would have been Attached to be like Yeah pour all your dad's money

In here So I think maybe It was a joint account Somebody offers I'm not gonna say no A joint account think maybe it was somebody offers a joint account in college what's that a joint account with a picture on the with their picture that is uh crazy actually and i share a joint bank account but we have to put all the money in ourselves yeah it's nice though it's it's nice that we go on a joint account because we're together we just

have one car like we just it's nice it's not about who oh that is pretty cool yeah and then we go out with friends we we usually pay and then we're like venmo us it's like nice like we're a couple like it's a couple it's just a shame you guys don't want to fuck each other because everything else is good i know those faces were amazing we couldn't be less each other's type i mean i i will lick a pussy and i have licked pussy, and I am into girls. I masturbate to female porn. I love it.

I feel like I knew that. Has that always been, or is that new? It's always been. When was the first time you had sex with a girl? I was 19, but I had masturbated to lesbian porn for so long, and I always felt like, what does this mean? Am I a lesbian? It's like, who fucking cares what it means?

I liked it. For like 20 years, I was like, what am I? lesbian it's like who fucking cares what it means I liked it for like 20 years I was like what am I now it's like who fucking cares I'm a girl who likes dick who once licked a pussy

whatever but yeah we could not be we're just you don't have some friends you're like well I don't you guys would know

but I feel like women have some friends they are a little like straight women that they're a little flirtier with they're a little touchier with

like we're not the other end of the spectrum like we are like a couple girls and they get a couple glasses of champagne and start making out and they should feel like they're a little flirtier with they're a little touchier with like right at the other end of the spectrum like we are like a couple girls and they get a couple glasses champagne so i'm making down you should feel like i have a friend that reina is like really touchy like she's my friend now reina's friend but like they'll cuddle on the couch and tip each other's arm and shit i'm like i'm disgusted like i'm just not like that with my girlfriend yeah i don't snuggle up yeah actually it's also less touchy than i am in general i'm not gonna get monkey not your love language that With a boyfriend, she is.

That's why I'm not going to get monkey pox. Raina was like, you're not going to get it because you won't touch people. She's like, but can you get it? It's airborne. I was like, Ashley, you're going to be fine. Don't touch people. Sorry, that was Raina's joke. I want to give her credit.

I want to give her credit. Oh, I don't care. No, Dee, I'm the same way. You and I sit opposite the couch. I'm touchy touchy. I will smother my dog. I will be sitting opposite the couch. I'm touchy-touchy. Watch it. I'm – I will smother my dog. Like I will be like all over him. Even my dog, I will initially be like boom, and then you can lay on my lap.

But that's enough from there. That's where we drop. Yeah, no. I'm cuddlier in a relationship. I'm like scratch my head. I like to be close, but not with my friends. That to me is more important than like sex. If I had to pick between like scratching my head and having sex for the rest of my life, I might take scratching my head I like to be close but not with my friends that to me is more important than like sex if I had to pick between like scratching my head

and having sex for the rest of my life I might take scratching my head oh cause you can fuck yourself do you have one of those things yeah like those things I love them

I get massages those are the only things that work on yourself though maybe I'll go get a massage right after this I just I feel like I'm needing a massage right now I will say Ashley is

Raina has a secret massage life there was like that's a secret there was a lot there was a point where she was going she was like going for massages daily

and like I didn't know about it and it all came out she had these two guys it was like we were one time in the car and we drove by this place

she was like I've been going there a lot and I'm like what like she was like showing up late to stuff she was like I got a thing and all of a sudden

I found out she's getting daily massages and right after we had discussed that we were kind of out daily is fucking that's great and she had these guys we were kind of out. Daily is fucking, that's great. And she had these guys and she was like, I have Tony at one place and like Jeff at the other place. And it was a real.

This is very funny because we just kind of had this conversation ourselves because we were talking about happy endings. And who has gotten them and who hasn't and how frequently and everything. And I get a lot of massages too because I've had a lot of injuries and shit like that. I've always done massages. From watching baseball? But then... Fucking kill shot. That was like boom, right between the eyes.

You're hanging out with some friends and putting back a few drinks. A few becomes a few too many. As the evening comes to an end and people start to head out, you think of calling for a ride. Nah, you live nearby. You can make it home, okay? It's not a big deal. What are the odds you get pulled over anyway? And even so, what's the worst that could happen?

Your insurance goes up. You lose your license. You lose your job. You total your car. You kill someone. Everyone knows about the risks of drunk driving. Everyone knows about the risks of driving drunk. The results are tragic and often deadly. However, that still doesn't stop everyone from getting behind the wheel under the influence. That's why police officers are out here right now looking for

impaired drivers on our road to save lives. So if you think you're okay to drive after a few drinks, think again, play it safe and plan ahead to get a ride. It only takes one mistake to change your life or someone else's forever. Drive sober or get pulled over. Speaking of, you said crazy earlier. I took a screenshot of your Instagram story. People with the T.

So I've done this thing a couple times that I'm really loving. I say, do you guys want to tell me? I say, tell me a secret. And it is my favorite thing that I've ever done. I get thousands of responses.

Of course I know what you're talking about. This girl said, I tell guys I'm on birth control and then I let them come inside of me because I want to get pregnant. It's...

A proper reaction! It's the craziest response. That is the wildest. The response was, I'm pretty open-minded. No, I didn't. I said, I'm pretty open minded no I didn't I said I'm pretty open minded but that's fucking

I feel like it's a bad idea you said it was a bad idea that is the most the greatest I read it I was like rape that's a rape

that's a rape baby yeah that is that's a rape baby so I've done this twice I get thousands of responses it's a reverse rape baby it's a reverse rape baby people tell me the craziest stuff

you've ever seen I mean everybody is cheating on a spouse they're fucking their boss people are doing I fucked my boyfriend's sibling like tons of people tell me the craziest stuff you've ever seen. I mean, everybody is cheating on a spouse. They're fucking their boss. People are doing, like, I fucked my boyfriend's sibling. Like, tons of people tell me really crazy shit. That is the craziest one I've ever seen. It makes me feel sick.

And it makes me just, like, think about, like, what if someone did that to my brother? You know, like, I just can't, like, it's, oh, my gosh. Like, to be fair, there's, you know, and I know this isn't the only way to get pregnant. You get pre-cum and all that stuff. But, like, I'm probably just not straight up none in someone who was like, I just met. I was like, don't worry,

I'm on birth control. I'd be like, I'm not going to take your word for that one. I don't think you should. Why would you? I wouldn't, is what I'm saying. Yeah.

But the, yeah, a person you don't really know that is, wants you to come inside them, raw dog. Yeah. I, I,

I mean, I've done it. Probably. I'd be like, you can feel the iud you're safe yeah my brain is like shine your iphone flashlight you'll see it that's how you check for herpes too awesome i'm not a doctor i'm just saying just it's a bright light i'm kidding oh i believe that i'm not a doctor but here's just saying, it's a bright light. I'm kidding. Have you guys ever felt night? I believe that. I'm not a doctor,

but just so you know, you can swim in gonorrhea as long as you take a shower afterwards. No. You don't get it. No, that's not true. Don't tell people that. That's not true.

Really? A doctor told me that. I got drunk, dumb, like 21-year-old doctor. Are people still getting gonorrhea? We heard somebody got it in her throat. Ew, that sucks. No, it turned out to not be.

It was a friend of ours. It was not gonorrhea. I've been to, I've had, I had like a thing last year Where it was like I just had this really swollen throat It looked like a pelican It was insane

It was crazy It was so fat We were trying to do the podcast on Zoom And I was like I can't even look at this I looked like myself in a fat suit What was it? We never really got to the bottom on Zoom, and I was like, I can't even look at this. I looked like myself in a fat suit. Yeah, it really was crazy. What was it? We never really got to the bottom of it.

But the reason I bring it up is- You went to the doctor. No, I went to the doctor. They kind of just gave me antibiotics, and it went away. They were like, shit happens. It's being alive. But they were like, have you performed oral sex recently? And I was like, yeah.

And they're like, could you have an STD in your throat? And I was like, that had never crossed my mind have an STD in your throat and I was like I had never crossed my mind you tell me bro you're the doctor well did she or he

have it and I was like whoa whoa whoa it's not from a dick okay do you think they think that's what it was they thought

if you took an antibiotic it went away throat gonorrhea it's a thing it was yeah I mean I took an antibiotic and it went away

I got a shot for it too took an antibiotic and it went away. I got a shot for it too, and that went away. It just went away. I went to an ear, nose, and throat doctor afterwards, and they were like, yeah, you're okay. I don't know. I didn't have anything. They were actually surprised that I chewed tobacco because they were like, no, you have no cancer or anything.

That's crazy. Yeah, maybe I had gonorrhea in my throat this i don't know sorry to switch gears because i i was trying to think of something more fucked up than that and i think this might be the most fucked up story that we've ever maybe ever come across this is one of those deer like abby things to your to you guys no no no Slate Magazine. My partner Chris and I have been together for six years. I recently learned something shocking. I mean, you can't even begin to know where this is going. It's wild. I apparently know what I can't think of.

No one can tell. We were splitting a bottle of wine and started talking about our things in our past that would surprise each other. Chris certainly won. He told me that he had sex several times with his own mother, Sheila. She had recently been divorced. What's crazy, though, it's not like molesting. Listen to this. She had recently been divorced from her second husband, so not his father, and was going through a dry spell.

They tried it once on impulse and both enjoyed it. So they kept doing it until the rush wore off. To put this in perspective, he was in his early 20s she was in her early 40s we're both in our 30s now chris said that he was not traumatized by the experience and i believe him they still have a warm relationship she was a lovely woman and until i learned about this i had no trouble seeing her as my mother-in-law now i feel like our relationship has completely changed. You think? Whenever I see her, I want to blurt out

that I know what they did. They're still together? Chris said, yeah, the boy They're married. The couple. The couple are still together. That's her mother-in-law. No, seeing they've been together for six years. Seeing her as a mother-in-law? Yeah, so they're not married, but they've been together six years. The weird thing is that I feel like if we're competing

As women now And she would have to make She would have something over me If she knew that I knew Does this make sense I want to see If there's an answer here This can't be real

She keeps saying Dear Mrs. Oedipus No you're not crazy She's like to qualify He's in his 20s Does this make sense That's crazy I feel like this is still

In 2022 You know you gotta Tiptoe around a lot This is still a thing We can be like That's fucked up I feel like this is still, in 2022, you know, you've got to tiptoe around a lot. This is still a thing we can be like, that's fucked up. It's not kink shaming. Right, right. Like in 10 years from now. You're going to have sex with your mom.

I don't care how that ages. It's going to age perfectly fine. You're just going to fuck your mom. I fucking hope so, god damn it. I fucking hope so. I hope you're not supposed to fuck. Oedipus is still a great piece of literature. That holds up.

With Will Wilson. There is still going to be one person on the internet that said Ashley Reno went on Barstool and king shamed. No doubt. It'll happen. It does. It'll fucking happen.

But like it's one thing if you're like I feel that in my head. If you found out that if you found out that someone was like unfortunately like you know molested

or whatever by their parent you know that's even hard enough to like you know work through and all that shit to be like I just kind of had this fling and we fucked a little bit we liked it

but not anymore you don't tell people that I'm going to defend one thing here it is the only relationship where I'd be like I believe that they're cool now there's only one girl that you can fucking break up with it's your mother

it's your own mother. Every other girl in the world. Nope. You've still got a thing. If I ever told you. Not your mama. Not your mama. If I ever told you, you're going to be my girlfriend.

I'm like, yeah, no, that's my ex. We're just cool. I'm going to fuck that girl. It's the only girl that's not going to say what are we. That is crazy. Crazy. To be like, I just dicked my mom down five or six times. The rush wore off.

Like I was bug buddies with his mom. Like, I thought. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the thought is. When the rush wore off. They fucking just high-fived afterwards. They're just bros who fuck. What's the etiquette after this?

You texting your mom like last night was fun? Like, it was like a date. Like, let's try that again. Or like, let's do this. I need to stop talking about it. This you're not not gonna throw up about okay this is the only time

you're not gonna throw up I'll start going on the road of like how did it happen the first time like I'm starting to feel it I think we already started that road to be honest yeah

no I think I mean there's a lot all impulses yeah that is I think that might be the one though like out of all these things we've done

that is the craziest yeah fucking your mom is disgusting and that is from somebody who masturbates to a lot of stepmom porn well that's the thing is like they're you know is it it's kind of that step it's such a huge difference but it is weird that there's just like there's this porn like fad that is lasting many many years now that we all kind of know about right what step porn yeah like like inc? Yeah, like incest porn, step porn. Yeah, but I always say incest porn is different. I like step.

Step porn, I like it when the actor's the same age. It looks like it's a 20-year-old girl and a 20-year-old guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's almost like, why does this even have to be step? I think, like, what a treat. What a treat that you have some hot person your age live in your house. She's stuck under a couch trying to clean.

I think if you don't fuck your stepsister or brother, like, you're just, that's just an opportunity. It started with Clueless. It's not 90s. It's like Cher Horowitz. And Paul Rudd started this. Maybe that was it. The extreme media.

I've never really seen Clueless. It might be why I don't get into it. They were separated, but they were once. Is fucking Cruel Intentions the same way, though, right? Yes. Yeah, that's another one. That's another one. I see we yelled at Ryan Felipe about that.

We called him a pervert. We created this in the 90s. That's another one. We yelled at Ryan Felipe about that. We called him a pervert. We created this in the 90s. That's what I mean. My point being that there's like these little things in pop culture

that are kind of like incest-y but then, you know, everyone knows like don't cross that line except for a homeboy here. It feels like

the biggest line. It is. It doesn't feel blurred at all. There's only one other line I think and it's like involving children. Like after, like kids, it's this one.

Those are the two lines. I'm saying step and actual family members. The line is so clear to me. It feels not blurry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Fucking, it's a wild one, though. Thanks for sharing that.

We didn't need it. Thanks for the nightmare fuel. We appreciate it, guys. Do you want to do a couple voicemails with us? Yeah, yeah. Got them up, Jack? 3Chi is... I've been talking about Delta

8 for a long time with 3Chi. We graduated, baby. Delta 9 up in his bitch. 9-9. Yay, yay! That's the gang sign there for John. This is cool. Delta 9 THC is the same thing as Delta 8, but we've upped the stakes maybe or maybe not.

I'm not sure because I'm not a fucking chemist. What I do know is that if Jackie can grab that white bag for me right there, I can show you the shit that we've got from 3C popping off right now in the Delta 9 world. Ready for this? Yeah. Oh, shit. It's like Christmas up in here. I wish you didn't do this to me right now. Oh, there's some candy up in there.

Yeah, there's a lot of candy. Yeah, no, that's regular candy. You can eat that up faster. This is regular candy? Actually, I don't know that for sure. Okay, I'm not going to eat that. Yeah, because that might get you high. I got a couple more things to do.

It is not okay. Yeah, that was stupid of me. In the bag of 3G, the other shit is not 3G. We've got the watermelon gummies with the Delta 9, 200 milligrams. They've actually upped their milligrams here. Like, it is diesel. They got the 5 milligrams of THC per serving, which is a half a gummy. Oh, you know what?

They've actually made that more manageable. So this is the watermelon gummies with the Delta 9, which has a little bit different milligrams than the Delta 8. That's the Delta 8 here with the strawberries. This has 12.5 milligrams of Delta 8. This is only 5 milligrams of Delta 9, same serving size. The Delta 9 is... It hits different.

It's less milligrams, still good. Does not matter. Yeah. Last night I was watching fucking Gossip Girl and just couldn't move. Yeah. There's 16 per pack, so that would be 25 milligrams, eight each. This is 10 milligrams in 20 packs. So Delta 9 definitely slaps harder.

They've got the gummies. This is the Dream Sickle gummies. They've got the gummies. This is the Dream Sickle gummies. They've got the strawberry, the watermelon. They've also got the powders that you pour into your drink so that you turn your water into a drink that can get you high. And all of this is safe and controlled and regulated. You can order it right offline. You don't need a prescription. You don't need to go to a dispensary.

You don't have to have a guy or a plug. It gets you high in the perfect way where you don't have that hangover feeling from weed. What did you call it? Foggy brain? Foggy brain. Foggy brain syndrome. Because John went with the regular marijuana and didn't go with the 3C9

Delta 9. Whether you've got chronic pain or restlessness or you just want to get that euphoria and buzz going, go to 3chi.com and use the promo code STOOL5 to get 5% off your order. That's the number 3, C-H-I.com, promo code STOOL5 to get 5% off your order. Must be 21 to purchase and enjoy.

Last thing here. Hey, guys. What's going on? It's your boy Tom Thomp here. And I was listening to your episode from Thursday about the Pokedex and the groups on Facebook about girls talking about cheating. And it made me think of this podcast idea I had forever ago. Sorry for the construction work. But I don't have the time or resources to do this, but I've always thought it would be

a banger, so I figured I'd share it with you. Maybe, Jackie, this will be your podcast. It's a show called Your Man's Man. And what it would be is... We've done this, but... But this is a good topic for you guys. So, this was

a previous thing on our show it was a like it started at college I think it was frat right yeah these guys basically created

like a reference like they called it a Rolodex of sorts where it was like I would go on a date with you and I'd be like

this is what she likes to eat this is what she likes to wear this is where she likes to blah, blah, blah. And then it would be shared, so all the guys would kind of know what all the girls like. I kind of like that. I think it's cute. It's either kind of stalky, weird, or it's kind of like,

I want to have some information when I go into the date. I mean, I'm sure the frat guys were using it to be like, how can I fuck these girls? Which is how I use all information. Pretty much. All information I'm using to frat guys were using it to be like, how can I fuck these girls? Which is how I use all information. Pretty much. All information I'm using to try to fuck somebody. All information I have is either to make you laugh or to make you cum. Yeah, that's a good point.

This boils down to it's not creepy if he's hot. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly it. If a guy shows up and he's fucking weird. Oh, you know what? I kind of thought the opposite, though. I remember saying, I think if you are like a hot, douchey frat guy, it's like, oh, you're

using this to fuck me. True. Or if it's like, I don't get many girls and I blow it's like, oh, you're using this to fuck me. True. Or if it's like, I don't get many girls and I blow it on dates a lot and I want to make sure I like really nail it. That's cute.

Yeah. And sympathetic. Oh, you're right. I would like you to be hot. But also, I would never fuck that guy. But maybe if you thought that

but you walked in and he knew every fucking thing about you and he like sucked you off the feet, you would get fucked. It's giving hitch, Albert Brenneman. Yes. Albert Brenneman,

exactly that. That's exactly what it is. Exactly. This is an is a ai hitch yeah it's like instead of a person it's a facebook group but i will tell you people listen to our podcast before a date and was just like spouting off information to me about me i wouldn't like it that would really creep me yeah yeah yeah i like to think of like this is like my own likes like people in my real life don't consume this yeah this is like a Batman right and then I'm Clark Kent I like Batman and Clark Kent better this fucking two totally says like like you don't even know I do this for a living yeah yeah I like my dad does that now my dad like he like checks Twitter and something that so he'll be like

My parents have never Been social media users It's been very nice And then my dad's like So what was like this At work then Like why the fuck Do you know about that

Yeah it's weird When people know More about you Than you know I don't like talking About my kids For real How is like this gas

I don't know they're fine My dad wants to know About the sex toy company Every day I want to talk about The sex toy company Yeah you guys got Your own fucking vibrators.

Can we tell you guys about it? The Ashley and the Raina, right? Yeah, we launched a company called Vibes Only. It's two different things. It's a sex toy company. We have all these great Couture Mons, blowjob gel, flavored blowjob gel. Couture Mons. We have the Ashley one and the Raina Toon one.

It's a clit sucker. Did you guys fight over who gets the G-spot and who gets the clit sucker? Or did you both like those things separately? No, we didn't fight at all. I wanted this, but we were a little wrong in the popularity. The Reina has blown the Ashley out of the water. Which one's which? The Reina has like an air pulse suction on one end of it.

And it like sucks on your clit. And it's sort of like longer. It made a girl squirt for the first time. People are losing their minds. It sold out immediately. And they're on sale now again. We just got thousands of them in. And the Ashley was just like a...

The Ashley's like your standard... I mean, it's better than any wand on the market and it's beautiful. Oh, it's like a Hitachi wand, right? But it's like, yeah, it's that bigger style. It's like, I don't know.

I think the clit-sucking thing is it just goes like... Right? A little flattening. It's unbelievable. Yeah. If you've never really had an orgasm before,

if you trouble like climaxing, you need like direct clitoral stimulation. It's that. It's like unreal. And then it also bends so you can put direct clitoral stimulation it's that it's like unreal and then it also bends you can put one half one inside of you or you can have it touch your taint a little bit which i like but then we have this app that's erotic content and the vibrators connect via bluetooth to the app so you like listen to this story this like sexy character

oh yeah it's like um you fucking get a dick thing you guys want to hear some you fucking get a dick thing You guys want to hear some? You fucking get a dick thing You call me up You got a customer Yeah Yeah why is this only for women? Let's go I know I do Also by the way

The blowjob gel Led to one of the One of the silliest fights I've ever been in my entire life What? Tell us It was like this girl Who was

We had used like some kind of Lube gel type thing right And And it was like We were younger And like we were fucking for a little bit, and then she started sucking my dick after. And it was her first time ever sucking my dick after I'd already been fucking her. And she was like, oh, my God, you're so lucky.

My pussy tastes just like strawberries. And I was like, are you the fucking dumbest person alive? My pussy tastes like strawberries. I was like, are you the fucking dumbest person alive? My pussy tastes like strawberries. I was like, look, here's the deal. I like the taste of your pussy. It doesn't taste like goddamn candy, though. Oh my God. That is so funny.

That would happen to us. We'd be like, oh my God, I never knew my pussy tasted like mango. That is so cute. Yeah, we have mango. But blowjob gel, are you saying that it's like you can use this as lube and then, like are you saying and then if you go down, like you put it on

to give a blowjob? Officially, it is for external use only. You want to put it on a penis and then you just want to wash the penis off. That is official. But like, why do you, I guess if you don't have a lot of We have a piss app. I mean mean it's just to make it like a make it more enjoyable it's not supposed to be like an internal product we don't sell it for internal use so we can't be like yeah suck a

dick and then fuck on it uh but it doesn't suck a dick and then fuck on it nobody's vocab i want to put that on our show i might yell that at people Oh, God. Suck a dick and then fuck on it. Oh, my God. I want to put that on a show. I might yell that at people. If you cross me, I'll be on the streets and be like, suck a dick and then fuck on it, buddy. And then someone's like, is that Raina? That is amazing.

The lube is awesome, too. But wait, so this is also like your company? Yeah, a whole new company. This is not like a sponsor. No, we have done – You sought out a manufacturer and all that shit. Everything. So you're getting the profits and all that shit?

It's literally a whole new company. There's no like we're partnering with a vibrator brand. We have created these from scratch, created the app, built the app. Was that your idea? Like you always thought of this? I mean, it was a natural – Somebody came and approached you or you were like, I'm going to go make a vibrator? Nobody approached us.

I mean, Ashley and I are just, I think we're great at pivoting. I think we're great at just saying, you know, what's next? What do people want? Oh, yeah, you guys invented fucking vibrators. What's next? Masturbation. We did invent vibrators. It's the app.

Like there's no paired sex toy with Bluetooth with an erotic app. There just isn't. And it's almost like erotic stories, right? They're like talking. They're erotic stories, but they're like one person There just isn't. And it's almost like erotic stories, right? They're like talking. They're erotic stories, but they're like one person's talking to you. So it's not like.

We've been big on erotic, like old school erotic. But like it's. I like reading smart. Swinging back. I'm done with porn. I like to read smart. Oh my God.

Oh my God. I love reading porn. I like listening to and reading to it because if I see a dick that I don't love, it takes me out of it. But I also,

it can't be like, it's not like corny, like romance-y, right? I'll play some for you. Which one did you, which one did you, you gotta put a little bit. I hope,

you gotta be careful over there. Use a splash zone. Just get it to the middle. Use a splash zone. It's like Gallagher, they're gonna have a fucking poncho they pull up. This is gonna be some,

some erotic reading. Suck a dick and then fuck on it What was this is this a Greek accent? Pull your panties if you stay still and just take it Oh, this is Christian Grey good girl keep being obedient oh oh this is Christian Grey

yeah yeah you guys get it it's really really so stunning but there's no other there's not a female voice so it's

or whatever female female male female but it's talking that's only one character kind of talking to you so you're the other character so it's like

it's kind of they're all written in second person and then again like you pair your vibrator via Bluetooth and it pulses along with it. So we've designed them

so it starts slow and it ramps up and then there's a climax. So you've got a story. It's like a bedtime story with cum. And you don't have to do the work. Do you have a fucking bar bathroom one?

Where it doesn't start slow, it's just a fucking... We are working on it. You actually don't cum. You're just like... It's disappointing. It's got music playing in the background

I'm a guy going hang on I'll get it I'll get it that is so funny it's just like the hardest setting and then it just stops you didn't come at all

the guy's voice is like was it good for you yeah we're like I'm sorry this never happens to me I swear we should just do we joked about

two realistic ones that'd be very funny we joked about having like a comedy portion where it's just like realistic ones that'd be very funny we joked about having like a comedy portion where it's just like stuff like that which is funny you need like a girl

being like can you make it fast just pull out don't come inside me just pull him aside just pull him aside we are working on the quick

the quickie with your ex in the bar bathroom but I think we're just gonna do that. Do you want to read it? No, we need some. Honestly? Honestly.

Can we do that? Can we read one? A full-on collab. Can we read one? Yeah. That would be really funny. Of course you could read one. I'm getting 70s porn, the terrycloth shirt and the mustache.

That's the fucking vibe right there. I keep saying every day we slip closer and closer just going to full porn. Like, I'm going to be like, yeah, we did this, like, funny erotic thing with Girls Gotta Eat. And then we're going to hear that, like, it sold a million downloads or whatever. We're like, well, now we just have to do this for our jobs. Barstool buys the app. We're like, just, it's fine. It's fine.

Just take it. We're overworked. Yeah, we're tired. Yeah, honestly, I don't want any more meetings. Just take it. Ashley and I will just advise on the vibrators. All right, let's do one more voicemail. John, we said last time that you are a man who maybe puts some junk into your body.

Sure. You're also a man who can whip up dishes with HelloFresh. Fresh food? No problem. Can I tell you what I did last night with HelloFresh? Yes, please do. I did the full meal. Meaning both parts?

Both parts. Because the boxes you get are made for a family of four or a family of two. They don't have a single one. But, John. I get a family of two because then I have lunch the next day or dinner the next night, whatever. This time you just went double up, double up. Last night I got home and just put down the entire order. And what meal was this?

It was one pan tacos. See, that's okay because you're eating just more tacos. What's funny is if you have like a chicken breast with these sides, this rice, and these vegetables, and then you just have double all of that. This was okay because- How many tacos come in one? Six. So you ate 12?

No, no, six. Three and three. Yeah. That's fine. 12 would be concerning. Also, to be fair, they were lettuce wrap tacos. Oh. So it was being particularly healthy.

Oh, those you can have like 1,000. Those don't even count. Now, if I could tell you what I did next. That might be a little concerning. Was order six soup dumplings and then an order of General Tso's chicken. Well, that's where you're a dirtball. And that's where you need to stop. I mean, it was.

See, now, John's not a human. I ate a full pouch of ground beef with chips and all kinds of stuff. All the accoutrements. And then I went with full order General's House chicken. No one else is going to have to do that. John is just a human garbage disposal. You will be absolutely fine eating the one serving and certainly fine eating the two. You can get the two-person pack or the family packs.

You can get all sorts of different cuisines, meaning they have summertime stuff, wintertime stuff, all seasonality, all seasonal foods. They've also got all sorts of ethnic foods and menus from around the world. And right now, you can get 16 free meals sent to you when you go to HelloFresh.com slash KFC16 and use code KFC16. The meals come to you with everything prepackaged, pre-portioned with a recipe card. All you got to do is open it up, pour it in,

follow the instructions, and you're cooking for yourself, you and your partner, you and your roommate, or your whole family of four. It's HelloFresh.com slash KFC16. Promo code KFC16. Get 16 free meals across seven boxes

plus three free gifts. What's up everybody. I just got to say these video voicemails talk calling in was so much better and I used to do it all the time and made it on all the time. This is a horrible thing to brag about because that means I'm almost as fucked up as all of you. But here we are again because I couldn't stay away and that's even sadder. Anyway, I have a question. So if alien archaeologists discovered your remains hundreds of years from now and could determine things of your lifestyle based off of that,

what do you think it would make them think about humanity and Earth now? Oh, no. That would suck. If, like, in the future I represented humans they'd be like these guys were lazy they found our remains or they found our remains are amongst our belongings

let's say that because that's a little more fun bones you can't tell much about I think they'd be like oh my god humans they are amazing particularly this nose this girl is beautiful this nose and this vibrator

her clit fell off is this a massage no it is a clit I think if they listen to one episode they have to be like they are pieces of shit I think it would be funny because it would be like their butthole's really stretched out. Yeah, like this is almost more like if you were that guy in Pompeii

who got frozen jerking off, you know? If it was just like, boom, you froze in your habitat, in your natural life, and they found that. We could have frozen like that. TikTok. They would be like, I'm just saying saying in my apartment right now maybe like dick

in hand candy in hand candy yeah like on the couch i'd have parks and records tv because i've been watching a lot of opry plaza lately i bet you have that's a fact she's on this show yeah like zoom but i'm a huge fan she's from delaware she wants to fuck john what did she say she's like who i would want to play me yeah she's awesome she from Delaware she wants to fuck John what did she say she's like who I would want to play me yeah she's awesome she's unbelievable she's my number one what did she say

about fucking John she was like how old are you she was like asking all the basic questions but like yeah are you single

how old are you how big's your dick she said how big's your dick no what'd you say be honest honestly it was are you single

how old are you what's your last name what's your last name? Is she following you? No. She's playing hard to get. But I also haven't added her on anything, so I'm like, I don't want to put pressure on her. You're like, I just want you to know I'm never going to text you.

It was enough that a couple people were, like, tweeting after the episode came out, like, sparks were flying. Oh, my God. Which is, like, the most amazing thing in the world. Wait, now I'm turned on by you. I'll be positive on you. I wasn't, but now. Dude, we gotta keep this. We gotta like really make sure

everyone knows this. Because that, the effect will happen. We just talked about it with chicks. They were saying, they like these ASMR interviews that celebrities do

and they said hers was like one of the best ones. Oh, really? Yeah, you jerk off to it. Very nice. Very good. Surprise I haven't yet. Don't threaten me with a good time.

I don't know, but then I feel like you could tell her, and I think that was hot. Like, if a guy was like, I watched this interview of you, and I jerked off, he'd be like, that's turned me off. It's the number one compliment. If somebody said they jerked off to me, I would be like, take every hole. Yeah. Get inside of me everywhere. Until some fucking person comes up to you on the street and goes, just so you know,

I jerk off to you. Yeah, it's got to be the right person. Yeah, and they've got to be hot. It's got to be hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As always, all things in life come back to, are you hot or not? on the street goes just you know I jerk off to you it's gotta be the right person yes they've gotta be hot it's gotta be yeah as always all things in life come back to

are you hot or not which is so fucking sick but it's so true it's not you know what it doesn't have to be conventionally hot

are you attracted to the person or not that's what it comes to yeah which is are you traditionally hot and if not it's like

I'm sending you to jail you're hot I'm gonna fuck you if not you go on a registry if that guy was 5 like, I'm sending you to jail. I asked you a question. If not, you go on a registry. Like I was 5'4", I'm pressing charges. I have a tweet that I always think about, and it's probably because it makes me feel good about me. But I wonder if you guys subscribe to the same belief,

where it was about Adam Driver. And it says, Adam Driver is proof that in order to be hot, you've got to be a little ugly. Oh. Adam Driver at 5'6 would not be anything. Same with Pete Davidson. That is true. A lot of it is the size.

And then I almost put, well, I don't know. Rainn and I really find Adam Driver to be hot. And I don't really, I mean, no shade to Pete Davidson. But it's the same thing. It's the same, like, big stature and then, like, a little bit of that ugly hot. I think the word there is actually more, like, not traditional. Yeah. Because if you're fucking ugly, you're ugly.

Both of their bodies are incredible. Have you seen these guys with shirts on? Pete Davidson, since he started dating Kim Kardashian, he works out every day. Yeah, but that's not my day. Yeah, I mean, recently his body has gotten really big. Look at recent photos of him. He has defined arms. He's like gangly.

I'm just telling, look it up. He works out every day. He has a big, broad chest and big arms. He can't have changed that much. He's changed a ton. I'm saying this isn't like a short shaming thing, but these guys, the height is a lot, the size.

Well, and Pete has the brooding male. Savior. I want to save him. Adam Driver. Sick body. Adam Driver. Adam Driver shredded. That one.

Sick body. He really grew on me because I did not think he was attractive on girls. I didn't either. Now, there was these posters of him in JFK. A lot of them in a row. He does a huge campaign. And Raina and I were like, this is too sexy for JFK. I looked at it yesterday.

We both took photos of it. Like, are we allowed to be looking at this at the airport? I mean, I'm trying to find new ones, but like. I'm thinking of, I'll find it. Here it is. Okay. Women used to like that Brody, what's his name? He has a huge nose.

Adrian Brody. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys can be like, but he's looking at his body right now. His chest got bigger. His arms got bigger. Bro, that's the same

fucking dude. Shut the fuck up, Reina. He's got his titties getting propped up by her feet. I want to suck a dick and fuck on it.

Bro, he's got Kim's feet. He's got Kim's feet under his titties. By the way, I'm not saying like, that's fine. He has the tall,

lean, skinny look, but like, I would not be like Pete's body. Yeah, yeah. I think he looks good. That's fine, like that's fine he has the tall lean skinny look but like I would not be like Pete's body yeah I think he looks good that's fine but that's not because

he's jacked I'm attracted to you too he's like just compliment me also your little nose my little swoopy nose alright girls it's amazing as always

thank you so much so yeah is there a specific reason why you are here? Is it the vibrators or the tour or are we pushing anything

or just came to come? We missed you guys. Yeah. I just wanted to come. John shaved. That's it. Cool. But we'll tell you

where you can find everything and my voice cracked. My voice has been cracking lately. It sounds sexy. Does it? Thank you. Now I have to try to fuck me. You should read some erotica or something.

Yeah, the list of girls got to eat wherever you get your podcast, girlsgoteatpodcast.com and then vibesonly.com so that's a cool name that's good thank you

and you can download you can follow that on everything Twitter Instagram is vibesonly and then download the app on Apple working on the Android app

it's been a journey don't worry about the pores thank you but no we wanted to make it happen but yeah vibesonly.com girlsgotteatpodcast.com

beautiful Ash Hess and I have a stand up tour if you're into that if you think I'm funny and Raina is raina.greenberg

beautiful thank you thanks guys thank you guys can I do an Instagram story can we take a photo yup yeah

yeah Instagram story សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពវបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបានបា� Thank you. Bye.