KFC Radio - Half A Billion Dollars, A Rat, and One Ball

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

The Royal Us has a half billion dollars. KFC and Feits discuss Penn National Gaming's massive investment in Barstool Sports and how we got to this point. Kevin tells the story of how Dave told him. Feits' got some all time words of encouragement. Feits has an incredible new invention. Voicemails include: One Ball, Google vs old Doctors, and Shoes IndoorsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. We're getting sexy in Miami. It's another edition of KFC Radio, live from the hot tub. It's brought to you by Roman. John just peed in this tub. I have not yet peed, but I will. I mean, if you put me in a body of water, I'm peeing. If you put me in a very hot body of water, I'm peeing a lot.

It was immediate. My toe touched it. I was like, oh, time to piss. Time to pee. You were like, it's so funny. We got footage of it. We'll put it on Twitter. You were like, I'm going to pee in this hot tub.

I was like, oh, yeah, I know. Don't worry. I will, too, as soon as I have to. But also, do you think anyone's had sex in this hot tub? If no one's had sex in this hot tub, I will be so incredibly disappointed. I mean, I think, like, maybe millions of people. There's a 0% chance that no one's had sex. How many people do you think have had sex in here?

I think, like, hundreds, thousands? Hundreds, at least. Yeah. I don't know how old the hotel is, but it depends on that. But, I mean, most of the people who have stayed in this room have had sex in this hot tub. You think that more people pee in the water or have sex in the water? Pee. Yeah, but in Miami it's probably like...

Pee, you gotta... The second you get in here, you gotta pee. You just have to pee. I didn't even have to pee. Like, when you knocked on my door earlier tonight, when you were like, you ended up texting me, you let me in, the reason I didn't answer on the knock was because I was taking a shit. And I peed during that.

And that was, I haven't even done anything. I haven't had a single drink or anything. Your body must have just peed again. Some sort of fucking, like, oh boy, there's a party? Gotta piss. Well, if you are in a hot tub, two things I know. You can't get pregnant, right?

True. Can't get an STD. And you should be using your Roman swipes to make sure that you last longer to have good sex with your partner. You open up the Roman swipe. You wipe it on your dick, you desensitize your penis so that it can go in and out of the vagina a little more often, a little more frequently, a little longer, and your sex will last longer. As you use Roman swipes, your body will become used to sex lasting that long, and eventually

you'll actually keep falling over, huh? I can't. You got to lean all the way back or sit all the way up? I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't get comfortable. If you sit up in this hot tub just normally and lean back, your seizes go down, right? Now your pee is in my mouth now. Yeah.

Now your pee is in my mouth. There's not that much water in this hot tub. It's like a lot. It's like 1% your pee. Yeah. It's less than that. It's a lot less than that. But there's a decent chunk.

But it's a noticeable amount is my take. Fuck. Go to getroman.com slash KFC. When you sign up for a monthly subscription, you get your swipes for just five bucks. Look at Miami Hammy with that hair curl there. Dude. Nick looking fucking fly as fuck. He's been on fire.

Got the shirt on. The hair's looking good. You put up a sexy Instagram of yourself earlier that got no likes on Instagram. It's crazy. People are downright just not liking that because it looks too good. It's insane. I did my take on the beach, and Blattman took a bunch of pictures, and he was showing me them.

And there were like seven of them, and I looked good in every single one of them. And I was like, am I just good looking? What is this about? Why is this happening? I might just be a hot person. But I'm not. And the likes on Instagram quickly reminded me. You had 11 likes in 30 minutes.

That's crazy. I got the giggles right now, man. It's been a long day, and I'm finding that very funny. 11 likes in 30 minutes? That's insane. I like every three minutes, dude. That's something like 400-follower-person shit. He got some verified on Instagram.

You're talking about I have 11 likes in a half hour. He kept looking at it, thinking there was going more there just wasn't there's weren't more likes there's 11 likes in a half hour I'd rather have zero likes like zero likes like oh it's broken no it works 11 likes no one's like you man I fucking. It's been a long day, man. I'm tired. I'm out of it. I'm drinking your pee. It's ugly.

Big news today. $450 million. I felt like it was LeBron James when I was talking to Dave. Not $100. Not $200. Not $300. Not $400. $450 million, which I've said a couple times today,

and I will reiterate again. It makes me question the company buying us. That is way too much money. What are you guys doing? Swear to God you could have had it for a fourth of that. Swear to God. Ah, $450 million, you idiots. But I'll take it.

I'll fucking take it man I have supreme confidence That Dave and Penn Will do the right thing And take care of my boy Feidelberg too And so you are talking to two You are listening to two future rich men Not currently rich men The only people who still aren't rich

But we are gonna be rich Which might be the worst spot to be in. Why? Because, like, you're in no man's land. You know? See, I don't know. I'm in no man's land. I don't know. It's like being skinny fat.

I'm in no man's land. I don't know. You are. You're good. You're going to be good, too. I'm in no man's land. I told you this. I'm going to give you money either way.

See, you're good. So it's like being skinny fat. If you're broke, you just find happiness. You just like take pleasure in other things. If you're rich, life's awesome. When you're like, I'm going to be rich in five years, that's a long time to be like, well, what do I fucking do here? Do I buy that shit now?

Do I go on a trip now? Do I, you know what mean like yeah that's actually my favorite part of all this which first of all like what people think like i like it like i i get i get congratulatory texts and dms and yeah and things like that and i'm like thank you but whatever yeah but one of them was from Scott Van Pelt. And he reached out. And I want to be very clear about something. Scott Van Pelt is the kindest, awesomest, coolest person in the world. He might legitimately be the coolest, nicest, kindest, rich person in the world. For someone of his ilk and his success to still be the way he is it is remarkable there are so many people who ask me you know like friends and stuff like that like oh you meet celebrities who you like whatever number one all the time is scott van pell he is

as cool and nice and fucking awesome and genuine as it gets but he just sent me a text where it was like you know fucking congrats. I'm proud of you. Blah, blah, blah. But he ended it with, can you please improve your bed situation? And I... I was like, yo, I love you. Thank you so much for reaching out.

It's amazing. Blah, blah, blah. But I'm not changing anything. No? And I think that's perfectly... That perfectly highlights everything. Why Barstool is successful. I'm not fucking changing... What do you mean? I'm going changing anything. No. And I think that's perfectly, that perfectly highlights everything, why bars are successful. I'm not fucking changing, what do you mean, like, I'm going to get a different apartment,

because I'm not rich? The only thing that'll help me is, like, my kids will be easier, but like, my actual life, I just don't, I don't know. I don't think, I mean, when I found out the news, I was just like,

wow. It was more about my sense of accomplishment, of of like we saw this all the way through. And I wrote this in my blog today. Because I haven't read it. I'm scared to read that. It's corny and fucking mushy and shit. I'm scared to read because I'm going to cry. Yeah, I got a little emotional when I was writing it.

I had a moment when everything. I'm definitely going to cry. I'm going to cry a little bit. I'm definitely going to cry right now. Yeah, you probably are. You little bitch. You're going to cry. I'm going to cry a little bitch. I'm definitely going to cry right now. Yeah, you probably are. You little bitch. You're going to cry, bitch. But I had a moment when everything fell apart for me where I was like, well, I have to make sure Barstool works.

Because Barstool was an element of why my marriage went south and more of it just me being my own personal whatever. But the job definitely was a problem. And then when it kind of cost me something, I was like, well, now if this doesn't work, it's all been for nothing. So I've got to make sure this works. And while it was the gambling and shit that put us over the top, and that's nothing directly that I have involvement with, we made sure we put out ATI, the video series, the card game,

took KC Radio on the road, we did merch, We did, you know, the podcast is up like 33%. We did all we could. And I'm just happy to like see that through and know that I did everything I could and that I can at least say like, well, personally, I don't know. But professionally, I do know. I do know that I went fucking all out and it worked. It fucking worked. That's the best part of it where it was like, I was talking to my dad. You were on radio today.

You stayed around after CZK. You stuck around for a bit. And I was still at the bar. And I called my dad. And he knew, obviously. I told him before this. But this is my first time talking to him since it's been official. And he was like, you did this. this i remember coming into like million and you but

you you know he's talking to me personally but obviously everybody yeah but the he's like i remember because he my dad did our insurance oh wow that's right for like blackout tour and stuff like that so my dad would come to the office a lot to meet with they right and he's like i remember walking through with that shithole of an office yeah lights were out you look awful you know everything yeah and he's like and you fucking did it it fucking happened it's like i talked to my dad and i and he kind of group texted me and my brother and i said you know thanks for like letting us take the risk because i i bailed on a good job my brother bailed on like my dad's career like my brother was doing what he does.

And I'm sure he had plans for him. And it was funny. I remember my brother being nervous to tell my dad. And he was like, are you fucking kidding me? Go, dude. Get out of here and go do some fun shit. And he sat back to me. And I said, thanks for letting us take the risk.

And he's like, more like you guys having the balls to do it. So I feel like the dad's. It's both. Yeah. I mean, he's underplaying – I did what I did, which is work for $400 a month for a company that does – fucking few people knew about. And I did that because if it didn't work, I was still okay. Yeah, you could have –

I was very lucky. I was very lucky, yeah. I mean that's why I tell people it's easier said than done. But if you're going to take a risk, you got to do it now. Because when you are... But I still don't think I've ever taken a risk. You say that. I mean, you haven't risked it, but you...

But I think that's what comes from... Maybe it's not a risk, but to work... I was good. If it didn't work, I was okay. Yeah, but for you to personally work for 400 bucks, you might have been good from your parents or whatever, but that would not have lasted forever. And you were at least willing to say,

I'm going to work for Peanuts for a decent amount of time to see it through. I still remember, dude, do you remember this? When it was like I was now like working at Barstool like full time. And the – but I still was getting paid not full-time i was still getting like and i don't even mean full-time money i just mean like yeah i do but but like you know full-time money then much different with full-time money now right but like i still wasn't making like a livable salary normal human money right and you went to bat for me. Oh, yeah. And Dave asked you, he goes, what are you, his fucking agent? Yes, I do remember that.

I do remember that. You were like, he runs Marcelo New York. Right. He was like doing a full-time fucking job. What are you, his fucking agent? I better be like, oh, all right. I'm going to shut my fucking mouth. There's a couple times where I would speak up and be like, oh, wait a minute.

I have no say here. It's wild. I mean, you know, we are very self-deprecating and pessimistic and all that shit. But it is undeniable that what we just pulled off, very few people in human history have done. It's crazy you know i mean that like you saying that it hit different if you will there are yeah is it an infinitesimal number of people who have worked in this world and turned like something into nothing nothing into something and taking like a small time thing and turned it into a $450 million company. And everybody has varying degrees of involvement and varying degrees of, uh, of, you know,

reasoning, but you know, it's like, obviously Dan and Dave are spearheading the, this like front and we're facing thing, but you know, without the blackout tour, we, we fucking go under. So everyone who had a hand in the blackout tour gets props for this. Without Saturdays with the Boys, we don't expand and hire a zillion people. So you get credit for that. Without podcasts, who knows? No churning, no this.

Like every step of the way, if you had any involvement, it's not just the gambling thing. It's not just the main people. It's anybody who had any hand in any step of the way that kept Barstool from going under because there was a lot of fucking times it could have. Almost all the time. Yeah, more often than not, we were like, oh, shit. There were times in the early times where Dave would call me and be like, I can't afford to pay you this month. I'm like, all right, figure it out.

And again, whenever I bring that up, I always do give huge credit to Dave because it was paid afterwards. There was back pay, but it was, hey, I can't pay you this month. In the moment, yeah. Again, we're not talking about a normal salary. We're talking about $400. So for someone to be like, $400

is make or break for me right now and you're running a company is pretty fucking nuts. Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking it's awesome. It's so dope. What do you think about, like, all the things when you're talking about, like, oh, excited as the boys.

Barstool Sports has done so many things that are so fucking cool and so huge. If you were involved in any individual thing, it's awesome. And we were involved in all of them. There have been so many, like, little brands in this fucking company. It's fucking crazy man the amount of people we came across the places we went the experiences we had the amount of people we reached the problems we fixed the laughs we created the last last we had it's fucking staggering but that that's also we're 30 you know what i mean i'm 35 like it's not like we're you know all right we did it and we're gonna die tomorrow it's like we did it and there's still a lot of life left.

There's still, like, a lot more to go. That's what's crazy, by the way. It's like, you know, it feels like the finish line for, like, phase one. But that's, you know, on to phase two now. It's like who fucking knows what's next. I was talking to my mom about, you know, all this and all kinds of, you know, everything. And one of the things she said was, you know, she's like, I'm so happy and so proud. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah., she's like, I'm so happy and so proud, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But she's like, keep your feet on the ground. I was like, well, I don't, like, easy, easy for me. And I said that it doesn't, I was like, it doesn't, I was like, it's easy for me to do that because, like, my brain understands that I should be proud and happy and all that, but, like, I'm really, I'm not. Like, I know I should, but I'm not. Yeah, you're just not feeling it, but you know that's the right feeling.

And she goes, yeah, that's smart. Keep the disconnects in your brain disconnected. And I was like, you really are my mother. Keep the fights. Keep the disconnects in your brain disconnected. I mean, that's a 10 out of 10 line. You know what? That's a 10 out of 10 line for Paul.

It's brilliant, and it's interesting. I totally subscribe to it in one regard. I said in my blog, though, part of the reason why I think I got caught up in a situation where my work life was not compatible with my home life was because I did not admit to myself what Barstool was and what it was going to be. And it's not like I knew and I was telling myself otherwise. I really did not expect this. I did. You did? I always knew. You knew it was going to be. And it's not like I knew and I was like telling myself otherwise. I really did not expect this. And I don't,

you did. I always knew. You knew it was going to be like, I mean like, you know, like this level of media company, we're going to have a hotel and all that shit. Right.

No, but you knew it was going to be like a lifelong job sort of thing. But it was just Dave I knew. Really? I knew, yeah. Just faith in him or what? That's why I,

that's why I fucking worked for him. I knew. Yeah. I mean, I guess i never thought when i left my job i was like this probably won't work and i'll just like go back to it and then when i got into it i was like this is you know there's something here but i never allowed myself to to like think further than that and i should have because we'd probably handle things

differently if i was like in five years we're gonna be this level yeah probably would have done some things differently i probably had some different discussions things differently if I was like, in five years, we're going to be this level. Probably would have done some things differently. I probably would have had some different discussions. Who knows if other people would have, like, been treated, you know, did things differently. But I was not like, you know, I feel like Dan and Dave were like, we're going to be famous. We're going to be rich.

We're going to be the top. And I was always just like, we'll see where we end up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hope for the best, plan for the worst. And they were like, plan for the best and fucking go get it and act accordingly. And I probably should have done that more. But,

uh, you know, it's, it's, I think that's where the, the, the self deprecation, the jokes,

the pessimism, it's all like fun and games. And then I think that came back to bite me in the ass a little bit. I wish I was, I was more serious about it where I was like, there's a reason why all these followers are here. I mean, even to this day, sometimes I look at people

and I'm like, I have way more followers than them. Why? Like, what the fuck? It's like, because this is a big fucking deal. And it's different. Yeah, it still doesn't make sense,

but it's still like... It's starting to make sense. It will never... It's the new sense. It's like the new, like, you know, the younger generation, the people growing up in it,

it makes perfect sense to them. Oh, yeah, Barstool Sports. He's bigger than XYZ on TV or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. We're an old generation. We're not used to that. But that is the case.

So, yeah, I mean, last podcast, I told this story about the Ron Artest tweet. People getting upset about the Ron Artest tweet. The what she sees versus what you see meme. And I got a text right after that podcast. Dave texted me and was like that Kobe porn thing was really weird. I was like Kobe

porn thing? What the fuck is that? And I'm sitting here thinking like is it an old KFC radio question? Like would you fuck Kobe or da da da? Did somebody put out a tweet or a picture or something and then I realized he's talking about the Ron Artest picture and I was like oh yeah man that was just like a funny picture I thought a weird

way for him to do a tribute so I did that thing and he was like yeah it just seems like a little weird and I was like well it's just a common meme and he was like yeah I just don't get it and I feel like if I don't get it that there's a lot of people who don't get it and I was like okay you know what I'm just gonna delete it yeah I don't care it's and I feel like if I don't get it, then there's a lot of people who don't get it. And I was like, okay, you know what? I'm just going to delete it. Yeah, I don't care.

It's not like my baby. I am not tied to this fucking tweet. I don't give a shit. It's a joke. It didn't get a lot of retweets. It wasn't bad one way or the other. It was a normal tweet. There was some backlash, but there wasn't anything crazy.

There wasn't crazy engagement. I deleted it. But then I'm like, shit, do we have to change the podcast? And I realized the whole first segment was about that. So I was like, well, I ain't going back to work. I ain't recording a new podcast, so fuck it. The next morning, I get a text from Dave, let's go get a coffee.

I don't think that's happened ever for me. Did you drink coffee? No. No. He's drinking water. I don't think he did either. We just sat at a table and no waiter even came over. But I don't think we've ever had a serious conversation in person like that

because we were in separate places for so long. So everything was over the phone or over email because we were in New York and Boston. And I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I'm in trouble for a Ron Artest tweet. I haven't gotten in trouble like this since fucking 2011. This is like 10 years ago shit. And I expected him to be like,

listen, I get it. I don't really care, but we're on the verge of something big, so don't fuck it up. And instead it had absolutely nothing to do with the tweet. And he was just like, so you may have heard,

and it's real. And I was like, holy fuck. And when he said 400, when I heard that F, I was like, 450 million what? 450 million pennies? Dollars? What's going on? I mean, that number is absolutely a joke.

And it was like the nicest that me and Dave have been on. We've been on good terms in the beginning, bad terms in the middle, and kind of just like no terms recently. It's just like everybody's a well-oiled machine. We see each other on the rundown. He doesn't bother me. I don't bother him. We get along when shit goes down.

But obviously, for the most part, we're just kind of like two different people. And this was like the nicest he's been to me, or just the most interaction we've had text message-wise. I think it was because he thought it was a well-kept secret clearly not uh so he thought like i don't think he i don't think he about it i still don't think he understands that barcelona sports is like a high school i mean he doesn't it's the most gossipy place on earth everyone gossips the entire time everything so uh yeah like everybody knew but i think he thought you know me and dan like the only ones

you could talk to so he kept like firing texts off to me and shit i was like this is wild man this is like 2009 shit back when we were like first out um what do you make of this rat situation do you believe in it it's probably my mom let's go through the odds of who the barstool sports rat might be it's brought to you by blue vine, Blue Vine is a company that's going to help you get that money. And to be honest, I still got to wait a little while to get my money. So I might need Blue Vine. I mean, everybody thinks that I got that paper boy. And it's going to be about three to five more years before I see anything. So any way that I can take out a loan or reduce my financial burden in any way, shape, or form,

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Go to getbluevine.com slash KFC and apply, and you'll get yourself a $100 gift card when you take out a loan or a line of credit. I don't think about these things. I really don't. And this is why I got myself in trouble with Barstool. Like I never thought I never took the time to think about my situation. Look what's in front of me and be like, what is happening here? And Dave was the one who said to me, like, if you need cash right now, you can go to a bank and get a loan based on this, you know? And I just didn't even think of that. And I don't need I'm a dyer for cash.

It's like I need it. But like I could. And I just don't think about it. I wouldn't think about going to Blue Vines. The hardest thing in the world to get is money. And there's a company that's just like, we'll help you get it. We'll make it very easy. We'll just give it to you.

And you can get $100 for free. Get BlueVine.com slash KFC. So there's a concern about a rat. And here at Barstool Sports, that could mean the literal animal, or it could mean the figurative behavior of a person. That's what I thought. I thought it was the animal. You thought it was the animal? I thought it was the animal.

Now, I mean, it's been rats in the office. It's been rats chewing through wires. We have a long running history with rats. But this one, we're talking about someone leaking information. We had a conference call two nights ago at 10 p.m. where we disclosed the information to the entire company. And by midnight, it was in the Wall Street Journal, leading people to believe there is a rat. I mean, there's obviously some sort of a leak. I don't think it's a rat. I think this is a poorly kept secret. I think somebody told a friend who told a family member who told a friend, and next thing you know, someone who already

knew something was in the works writes the story. But I guess... Because Penn National was already out there. There were already blogs about it. Now it was just details. Yeah, and I still don't know the details, so that's how I'm out. I can't be the rat because I still don't know the details. I don't think details

were in the conference call. I know there was not... The number was not announced at the conference call. I was not on the rat because I still don't know the details. I don't think details were in the conference call. I know the number was not announced at the conference call. I was not on the conference call. We were at the Heat game. You and Nick got up to leave. I, being a huge basketball fan, said, well, look. You were swag surfing. I can't miss my Cs.

You got to see Kelly Olenek. I got to be here. I'm sitting behind Udonis Haslam. That's right. I can't believe that guy still suits up. I thought he was an assistant coach. I did not know he was still in the league. So, yeah, I wasn't be here. I'm sitting behind Udonis Haslam. That's right. I can't believe that guy still suits up. I thought he was an assistant coach. I did not know he was still in the league. So, yeah. So, I wasn't on it.

I don't know if the business conference call was different, but I specifically know they did not mention the number because after we got off our conference call, my brother was like, they didn't even say the number. Like, that was anticlimactic. People don't even know that it's $450 million. That's like the big announcement. And so, it couldn't have been anybody on content if that was part of the details is 450 million big like i mean obviously i know it is but like is that like is it is it yeah it's like that that's a big number that's a big number i mean i got a call from uh one of the churning guys and he was like and and i could hear like the honesty in his voice he was like this is a big deal.

This is very unique. This is very rare. And you should be very proud. He's like, companies don't turn around. Are you proud? Yeah, I am. I am. Yeah.

And I do know, I mean, I do feel like I kind of gave, I mean, I know I gave it my all. Professionally, personally, I became completely consumed with Barstool Sports intentionally and unintentionally for better, for worse sometimes it was great sometimes I wish I was a little less but I absolutely if it didn't work I would have been like

well, that's the way the world was meant to be I never thought I didn't go all out I'm 100% with that and I I feel like, you know, and we always talk about how it's like we don't go on vacation. We don't do anything. Right.

But I don't feel proud. I just feel like I was me. Well, yeah, that's the thing. I guess people like it. You know what? It's hard. I think it's hard for us to accept that what we do is a talent. So we don't feel like we're doing anything special.

Right. When, like, I guess. I don't know. I think most people just don't try. Yeah. Yeah. Fresh record. Talking to a mic.

It's fucking really easy. Like, if you have conversations and laugh with your friends, you can do what we do. Yeah. Straight up. We just did it. You know? you can do what we do straight up we just did it you know like i i don't know if athletes or entertainers feel like does just fucking uh adele go home and be like i'm so proud or is she just like i don't know i can just say yeah that's easy i could just say yeah that's the matt damon this

shit is easy to me whatever i don't know i guess this is the thing that people like right i'm so fucking happy like i don't i don't mean to belittle what we do but i'm gonna belittle it real quick yeah and it's like i'm so thankful listeners i'm so happy for everybody but like i don't i don't mean to belittle what we do but i'm gonna belittle it real quick yeah and it's like i'm so thankful listeners i'm so happy for everybody but like i don't know i'm just being like this is easy for me it's it's i'm not even what i'm doing is not impressive guys i'm not even trying we're not trying you know how much prep i do for shows zero zero i i i used to do prep when i was younger and then when we had the radio show i would like give a rundown and then i just stopped doing that and i just like i don't know it's better when you don't yep by the way can we talk about real quick and i interject about since we're talking about no

plans soundtracks for books i've been telling everyone about this are you sure you want to do this on the podcast are you sure are you sure you're ready oh we on the podcast? Are you sure? Are you sure you're ready? We'll finish this. I'm going to talk a little bit more so you can think on whether you want the world to actually know this idea because they're going to steal it from you. Yeah, good, hopefully. It's pride in the sense of the hard work. It's not.

I worked really hard. I feel lucky. I don't feel like I earned it. I just feel like I was in the right place at the right work. It's not. I worked really hard. I feel lucky. I don't feel like I earned it. I just feel like I was in the right place at the right time. I answered. I sent the email. I wrote the blog. I took the chance, but that's it. I wish I felt really... I don't know.

It's very weird. I go back and forth and back and forth. I was talking to my dad on the phone and I was crying. I was at to my dad on the phone, and I was crying. I was at the bar just straight up crying. Because he was, like, proud, you know. And hearing that from your dad is a little different. Oh, absolutely, yeah. But it was, like, but I'm also, like, I'm, like, in my heart of hearts right now, I'm not, like.

Pride is not, like, the right thing. No, I think I am like that. But I'm like this. Here's what I am. I'm like, we did it, and I'm so happy and lucky that it was me and not the next guy because it could have easily been. It's all about timing. I said this on the radio. From Dave starting when he started with the rise of the internet, from Barstool getting on the internet when Boston Dynasty started, all the way up to gambling being legalized when it did.

If those things don't happen in Dave Portnoy's lifetime lifetime this just doesn't happen there's there's been a million dave portnoy's they existed in the fucking 1500s they were just like i don't know i got jokes it's nothing more than than sheer fucking luck well this is this is okay this was interesting i got to give it to that fucking idiot kirk minahan dave portnoy is now one of the most successful humans ever. We're talking top 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, million zeros, 1%. He's an idiot. He's a dummy. I never know Dave, and I still don't know him at the point.

That's what I mean. He's either the dumbest smart person, the smartest dumb person. He's street smart, not book smart. He's lucky combined with persistent. All that shit, yes. So do you think, like, Kirk was like, is that what Walt Disney was? Like, were Walt Disney's friends? Walt Disney was, wasn't he a fucking Nazi?

Yeah, he just hated juice. Yeah. But, you know, all of these wild success stories are their friends being like, Walt. Oh, definitely. Steve jobs. That guy, he was,

he was a clown. He was, he was like a total moron. You think so? And if your friends think, and if your friends don't say that, then like, you don't have good friends.

Like friends should not be impressed with their friends. Cause I don't know. I just feel like you should be you. Yeah, no, I hear that. I'm just saying, I used to think that in order to get to a hundred million dollars, you had to be like a savant, like on the spectrum.

Like your brain needed to be. I mean, I guess as I say that, I think about, you know, there are just – there are people who fall ass backwards into it. But I thought, you know, if you're going to be a normal guy and get to that, you've got to have something about you. And I guess maybe Dave's determination or whatever. I don't know. What do you think Dave's best trait is that led to this? He's funny.

I don't know. There's so many funny guys. He's the most important. But that's what reigns supreme. If you talk about Dave, you would say he's funny. It's like anything with like, if you talk about exes and stuff like that, right? Like you can get over someone you loved. You can get over someone who fucked you like crazy.

You never forget funny. Funny. If you fuck funny, it stays with you. Because that shit's like dopamine, man. When you start laughing and you're having a good time, you're a happier person. Fucking funny stays with you. And I think that's, if anyone's like, you know Dave Portnoy? Oh, you're a happier person. Fucking funny stays with you. And I think that's, if anyone, like, you know Dave Portnoy? Oh, yeah, he's hilarious.

It's not like, oh, yeah, he's a genius. Oh, yeah, he's smart. He's hilarious. I think funny is the most important. But even that, I don't think, like, I think of Dave Chappelle, you know, is like this brilliant genius funny. Dave is funny in a way, it's like he's going to say McCulkey Culkin, and it's going to be fucking hilarious.

I don't know why. During my valleys with Dave, me and Dave's relationships the Pekin valleys, the valleys I would be like this motherfucker is just like dumb. He's just saying dumb things and people are laughing. He's not crafting jokes or planning things out.

He would just be like, he would ask a stupid question or say a dumb thing, and it would be so genuine that people laughed at it. Whereas if I said Macaulay Culkin wrong, people would be like, just say his name right, asshole. And instead everyone else just said, I'm going to call him Macaulay Culkin too. So I think it's funny combined with this je ne sais quoi, where it's just like, I don't know why, it just works for him.

And that's why it doesn't work for anybody else. That's why I don't think anybody else could pull it off. And not just Dave. I think it was the perfect assembly of people. Um, you know, maybe minus minus plus or minus five or 10 people. He said something today. I don't know if he's ever said it before. Dave said, I am. He also said something. I don't believe it's true. Dave said, uh, he would not like accept the deal if the company wasn't fully, fully on board with keeping everybody and doing everything his way. I feel like

if those guys were like, we'll give you $400 million, but you've got to cut, I don't know, 20% or something. And I wouldn't begrudge him. I can't speak for Dale. I'd speak for me. You go. But he said, as he was saying that, he was like, I'm pretty he was being self-deprecating, but he was basically saying, I'm very loyal.

And he said, and that's why nobody leaves here. And I never thought about. I agree with that. But I never thought to myself, I'm not going to leave because Dave Portnoy is loyal to me. But it's why. It's like subconsciously and deep down emotionally, probably why was me, because the thought of me going to Dave and being like, yo, I'm out. That conversation would have been like, are you fucking kidding me? You're going to leave?

Dave and I have had our – actually, Dave and I – I don't know. I just kind of say that out of, I don't know, habit. But Dave and I have never had a problem, ever. Dave and I have always been good. Yeah, we've never – I mean – We're good. But I've always known 100% Dave's got me. Yeah.

And I've always 100% gone to bat for Dave. In private conversations, I'm at a bar, whatever. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you know what? He's a fucking good guy. Yeah. So it's never been a question for me. People are so excited to meet you.

There's plenty of podcast tape of me just fucking suing myself. I'm not going anywhere. And that's definitely because they've made me comfortable. Yeah, I mean, I think I had a different relationship with them because of the rundown. And there was so much exposure who was daily just shitting on us. Where people would be at the bar and be like, yo, do you really hate Dave? And I was like, oh, yeah, fuck yeah. And half of it was like, let's keep the fucking, you know, keep the kayfabe here. But part of it was also like, I don't know, fuck the guy,

you know, like we, you know, we just got, we just got off the phone and he, he told me, you know, he, I owe him my life and all that shit, you know, that, that used to bug me and never to the point that I would like be like, I'm out of here. I don't like you. But I used to be like, come on, man, it's just like a two way street. Like I helped you get out of Boston. You, you know, you gave me things, I gave you things. But, um things but um but when you know when things are good or good when he admitted uh on radio he said that prior to the churning deal he knew that me and dave me and dan were like at our end of our rope with him um i didn't know that he like ever even knew that he realized he registered it yeah i thought i mean he's just so i think dave is you know i think

dave and would he would admit it himself he's a narcissist and not in like a terrible way but just in a way of like he's just always thinking about him and in a way he's actually looking out for everybody else by making sure he's good you know yeah so it's not like in a selfish way but i just wouldn't even think that he would know who hates him and who doesn't like him and who's good and who's bad i could see him being like oh yeah dan kevin and dan love me just like everybody else what do you mean you know and not even getting that we were kind of like man this is tough like every fucking day this is tough um but was there ever was there ever like a vibe in the milton office where people like knew that or was anybody ever talking about like oh boy those guys don't get along anymore no no yeah that's why i was

surprised to hear him admit it because like if it was talked about, I'd get it. I mean, I knew because we talked. Dan had mentioned things. But it was never like, oh, boy, everyone's at their wits' end. They've always been good, whether by design or by luck. I remember early on when I was getting a little bit fed up, I got a raise. He bumped me up to like $75,000. And I was like, all right, I'm good. I reset the clock, and I was happy again. And then a like, all right, I'm good. Reset the clock. And I was happy again. And then, you know, a couple of years go by. And when I was ready to

jump out the window, churning came along. And even now, um, I mean, we were in a good spot and I was like, all right, cancer radio is just like going to be its own enterprise, like forever now we're good. But I was kind of like, you know, what, what, what happens now? And then boom, like it's always been perfect timing. It's always been when I'm like, Oh shit. For me at Barstool, it's always been the worst timing's always been when i'm like oh shit for me at barstool it's always been the worst timing like every time i needed to go away something bad happened or every time i needed to do a pot like there's always just like something kind of standing in my way just making it inconvenient but all of barstool in general it's like the best timing ever micro micro timing for me is not so good macro has been like fucking great it's like everything lined up month after month, year after year.

So yeah, man. It's crazy. Now we just gotta keep doing what we do though. Alright, back to work. Now we gotta start churning. Getting a new bed? Nothing changes. Absolutely.

It sounds great. Absolutely nothing changes. Except that people just, oh man, let me tell you something. Bad day to not have your contacts in your phone. The amount of people texting me like, Hey,

congrats. And I had to say every single one of them. How often you text me asking for someone's phone number. Yeah. Or like, who is this? Yep. I get a lot of texts,

man. I didn't realize it till I didn't have my fucking contacts. And now every person I had to be like, thank you so much. I appreciate the support. Who is this? That's a, of texts, man. I didn't realize it until I didn't have my fucking contacts. And now every person has to be like, thank you so much. I appreciate the support. Who is this? That's a text. I have a perfectly valid reason.

I did restore my phone. I did lose my contact. When you get the who's this text, it's disrespectful. It stings. It stings. You're definitely like, what the fuck? I mean, you get it. Things happen. Do you?

At this point, it happens so often. I don't know. I think the opposite. I think I'm the the fuck? I mean, you get it. Things happen. Do you? At this point, it's like, it happens so often. I don't know. I think the opposite. I think I'm like the first person in 10 years to lose their contacts. You know what? Is, no, I lose my contacts every time I get a new phone. You don't have your shit backed up? For some reason, this phone I did, but every other phone besides that, no.

But the, I think last episode I saw about living life like an anthology series. Yep. Phones, phones right now I literally got three texts Really? Three texts That's good though I like that

Oh yeah, no Yeah By three best friends Congrats dude That's fucking the way to be man Literally all three of them said congrats dude That's it No punctuation, no nothing

That's it Thanks man, whatever Word Yeah, what's up? How you doing? Yeah Well, I've also been, you know I wrote the blog about it,

and I was, like, mushy about it and shit. I'm sure if you, like, made a point to say, like, how much you're affected by it, it would be a different story. I'm not affected by it. I mean, if you were, that's what I mean. It's just your friends and people follow your lead. And they're like, yeah, John's good, I'm good. Whatever, man.

Let's get back to business, though. We're an ideas company. We're an ideas company. We're an ideas show. You're the ideas guy. The latest great idea to come from the brain of John Henry Feidelberg is brought to you by Screwball. Screwball whiskey. Oh, I love a screwball. How good would that be?

A little whiskey on the rocks right now. Peanut butter flavored whiskey. How good does that sound right now? I'm drinking a beer and it's just making me heavy. I don't know why. I said this last night to you while we were at the game. I'm like, I don't get why I drink beers because they make me heavy. Drink liquor.

Drink seltzer, man. Yeah. Well, the screwball whiskey is the perfect combination where you can still get some flavor in and it's not. I'm still not a guy who likes to choke down, you know, harsh liquors. So I like a little bit of flavoring and nothing better than a little savory. Savory? The word I guess is sweet. Sweet peanut butter.

You can mix it up with grape juice and have a peanut butter and jam. No, peanut butter is savory. Is it savory? I think, I thought, I thought sweet and savory would be the sweet. Okay. Yeah. The jam, the grape juice. I feel like peanut butter, it's creamy and sweet.

Sweet and savory? No, I think it's the savory. I feel like peanut butter is creamy and sweet. Sweet and savory? No, I think it's savory. I don't know what savory means. I feel like a steak is... Like pretzels and savory. Okay. When you say sweet and savory, like the chocolate is the sweet, the peanut is the savory. Okay.

So either way, peanut butter is delicious. How about that? Yeah. And you can mix it with grape juice. But I'll be honest, grape juice, like who has grape juice sitting around? If you do, it's a great idea. But grape juice is tough to come by. Crazy town.

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Enjoy responsibly. Advertisement. Advertisement. I'm going to say advertisement from now on. Advertisement by Screwball Spirits LLC, San Marcos, California. Whiskey with natural flavors and caramel color. 35% alcohol by volume. Revolutionary liquor for a revolutionary man. John Henry Feidelberg.

I feel like you're like a modern day Da Vinci. You think so? Yeah. Feidel day Da Vinci. You think so? Yeah, Fuddleburg Da Vinci over here. I disagree, but... You got ideas, brother. What's wrong? Soundtracks for books. Soundtracks for books.

It's probably the smartest thing I've ever said. I was telling people last night at the... Oh, you spilled your beer. Not totally. I was telling people last night at the Celtics game, the Heat game. We saw the Danettes. We saw Pauly Pabst, Perloff,

they're all there. Love those guys. One of the other crews out there that I think... Incredibly cool dudes. I love the Flagrant 2 crowd. I love the guys one of the other crews like out there that i think like incredibly cool love them fucking awesome i love the flagrant two crowd i love the uh the the dan patrick crowd and us i feel like i feel like one day we should all like fight in a parking lot like an anchor man yeah but i like i immediately grabbed i was like yeah you read right to perloff yeah of course he does

and he was like i'm an adult human yeah Yeah. Yeah. I read. Valid point by you, but also valid response by him. He's like, I was like, sound types of books. I thought of it on the flight down here. I'm reading Tattooist of Auschwitz right now. Auschwitz right now. It's an incredible book. About halfway through. It's very, very good.

Very sad. It's a poorly titled book. A lot of, well, it sounds like. Makes it sound like, hey, I don't know. Come get your tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The tattoos. But nah.

I don't agree. I don't call the fucking Jewish tattoos. They're not tattoos. They're like, you know, death brandings. Yeah, they're not good. It's like, come on. But it's a great book. But I was reading on the plane.

And on planes, like, things get loud. The guy next to me kept coughing. Infuriating. The maddest I've ever been. I was like, dude, do you need a tissue? What do you need? You can't just be continuously coughing. Something has to happen.

Was he, like, covering his mouth and shit? But they weren't even big enough that he would need to cover his mouth. We almost feel like they're faking it. Right. I'm like, we can do it, man. But it got so much that I had to put music on. Right? I can't listen to lyrics because then you can't really read.

I agree. I agree. And so I put on instrumentals. But while I was listening to instrumentals, I was like, listen, why don't we have soundtracks or books? Love this idea. Where there's music that goes to the beat of what you're doing. I've kind of been doing this by accident over the years. When I write a serious blog, I'll put up a YouTube and I say, press play as you read.

So I did it recently with the Manish Mehta burner. I went on YouTube and I looked up the soundtrack to Clue. play as you read. Yes. So I did it recently with the Manish Mehta burner where I played like, it was actually, I looked up, I went on YouTube and I looked up the soundtrack to Clue and so it was like

this mystery music. I was like, we're talking about a mystery so listen to this as you read and I realized that's what I'm doing. Now let's make it official.

I mean, you have three options, right? You got slow reader, regular reader, fast reader and then at the end of either every, not page break, but you know how sometimes there's like a symbol put where it's just like the chapter changes kind of deal? It's like maybe not a chapter, but it's just like we're changing point of views or settings or whatever, yeah.

So every one of those or every chapter, the song stops. So you never fall that far behind. Okay. If you get fucked up, we'll catch up in two pages. Now, wait a minute. When you're talking about slow reader, fast reader, all that shit,

you're talking about you press play and you read your book, right? Yep. Because you're a book guy. You like the tangible paper. If you do this on like a Kindle, it can just all be synced up. Right. You don't even have to worry about speed.

True. Your book just, you know, the book knows from this page to this page, play this song, and if they're slow, just loop it you just keep going and if they're fast you just cut to the next song that's that's i hadn't even thought about that because i know you i know i knew i knew you because you're you're a you're a paper guy i'm a huge paper guy but as long as it's as long as it's instrumental right but the rest of the world's onto their kindle and their amazon this and that so if you know I just feel like you don't read things.

I read it differently when it's on tech. I agree. I've had, and I'm saving it open, the tab on my phone, open for, what is it, Wednesday, three days now, a GQ article about Kobe, which I'm sure is unbelievable. I can't wait to read it. But also, I haven't read it yet. Yeah, well, because if you're on your phone,

you're doing all the other bullshit on your phone. You're not looking into anything else. But if you're like, I'm going read it yet. Yeah, well, because if you're on your phone, you're doing all the other bullshit on your phone. You're not looking into anything else. But if you're like, I'm going to go read my book now, you go pick it up. But I think you can do it both ways. I think most of the world has probably embraced the Kindle side of things, though. So you're good electronically. And if not, you just have a speed thing. Yeah. I think it's so dumb that we don't have it.

Now, let me ask you this, though. When there's a romantic moment, have romantic music and a mysterious moment And a dramatic moment There's a lot of times that books are just like Do you just have like a What do you play that? I don't have a nondescript sound in the background I think you can have

What about like sounds? So like if they're outside you're going to hear birds and shit? I think it's fine So it's not necessarily music. I give broad ideas. Audio, yeah. I don't want to get specifics. I give broad ideas.

And I think, yeah, I think. Now what about if there's like a romance book and you write like a sex scene? Are we just going to play like some fucky fucky like slapping and like moaning and shit? No, because if you're reading a book that like when it's describing sex, it's, like, longer than a sentence, that's a weird-ass book. Yeah. And I don't want to be associated with it. But those, I mean, people do read those books where, like, he gently caressed my nipple as he, like, went into my, entered my, like. John Fahlberg doesn't read those books unless he's jerking his dick.

I was going to say, you love erotica, bro. For eroticismism not for fun i feel like you can get people all boned up if you're playing some like some porn porn noises as you fucking read you know what else i decided on that plane what it's a running theory i've had for a while now i think drinks on planes are always free and they just tell you that they're free What the fuck does that mean? So they're supposed to cost money Alcohol drinks cost money Right I don't know if I've ever paid for one

And every time I get one You usually have to pay for that I mean I've given my credit card To a fucking flight attendant before What are you talking about? You've never had to do that? I might have done it once I mean you're just getting free drinks then you're getting hooked up yeah but i think yeah i guess i am i mean that's not happening to me bro i think they

hook up most people what what am i am i the only one almost every single time i've like i've never paid for a drink you know what he's talking about do you pay for drinks on a plane yeah? I pay for it. Yeah. I mean. I've literally paid for it. Right now, I feel like John is like the hot chick who's like, you pay to get into the club? Like, you pay for your own drugs? I pay for my drinks, man. No. I think drinks on planes are usually free. There's this.

You have this new. You are the most confident, unconfident person in the world. You're just saying things these days, and you're just like, no, that's true. Now you're good. I noticed you were sick of my takes about Sunday when we got here and you're like, your takes are getting out of control. It was the calamari thing, which I still stand by.

No, I have no problem with your takes. You just, you're expressing your takes. There's a time and a place, John. Podcast, yes. At the dinner table when Roan just ordered calamari to be like, ah, fucking anybody who orders calamari is an idiot. I'm like, well, that person just ordered it. If it was like –

But Roan was like, wait, what? What do you mean? And I was like, don't mind him. I now have to explain my buffoon friend's take. Oh, I'm sorry. It's just a whole thing. If Roan thought that, then I'm truly sorry. I wouldn't do that in front of someone I wasn't comfortable with.

No, I didn't. If I was sitting down at a table... But they were like, wait, what's wrong with that? I thought Rowan Undershows was just busting his balls. But yeah, you get free drinks on planes. I'm one of the best squirters I've ever seen in the game.

Incredibly good at that. I'm like Scytheria. I was not bringing it up out of principle because you're too good at it. I'm so fucking good at it. And I can do the one, too, where you capture the water and squeeze out. You know what I'm talking about? I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you squirting water out of that?

I can't see, but if you're squirting water, that's amazing. Oh, my God. That's amazing. It's my only talent. I don't think I have any talent That's my talent I can squirt water in the bathtub You have talent For sure

Next time we go to Case You're Ready to Lie I'm just gonna have a bowl of water And you guys look at this Hey that joke That joke bombs Pow pow pow pow pow Do the greatest show

Like a god damn circus act We squirting Look Look There's a fucking Scyther theory out here. It's really impressive. Oh man.

Um, books, soundtrack for books. So here's the thing. Not exactly up Penn nationals alley, but I do believe we've already, we've always kind of been this way, but now I think especially so with this sort of backing,

I mean, we can just do anything now. I feel like we can call up somebody and be like, send me your finest soundtrack book, man. You know what I mean? Like, get me to market with soundtrack books. Yeah. Yeah. We probably can't.

Although I do get the feeling that I could be like, hello, is this Penn National? They'd be like, is this Dave or Dan? I'd be like, no. They'd be like, click. We might need to work some inroads there with the Penn people. But we're going to get to the soundtrack book, man, before this is over. I promise you that.

All right. We've got one more ad. We got like one more segment. We can't do voicemails from here, can we? We can? Okay. All right. What's the ad?

What? Just fucking pee. I almost just got up out of say, I have a pee. What? Why am I doing that? Just fucking pee. I almost just got up out of the fucking house with the pee. That's how it works. I was really just going to go pull your dick out and pee in the bush. I was going to go downstairs. I was going to go to the bathroom. Oh, my goodness.

That's ridiculous. Yeah, it's crazy. My favorite pool peeing story. I was in Arizona, Talking Stick. I went for a bachelor party, and we went to a pool party that was Arizona. It was like a bootleg Vegas party Right

But same idea And there was some hot chicks And we were like A whole crew of bachelor party Guys were talking to them And I mean I had been in the pool Drinking for hours

I mean I was all pruney and shit It was probably I was probably drunk And like visibly wet You know like pruney And we're talking to these girls And somebody started talking about Peeing in the pool And I was like Yep you're talking to these girls, and somebody started talking about peeing in the pool. And I was like, yep, you.

I'm talking to this one girl. I'm like, you peed in the pool. You don't even know where. You haven't even gone to the bathroom. And she goes, where's the bathroom? And I was like, I literally just went under the water. I was like, I don't know. She was like, it's right back there.

I was like, fuck. Where's the bathroom? They got me. All right, voicemails time. It's brought to you by SimpliSafe. SimpliSafe is the number one home security company on the planet Earth. And I say number one for, what, three reasons. Number one, they keep you safe.

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It's not gonna lock you in for long-term. You can go month to month. No long-term tricks or commitments. You can just go to simplysafe.com slash KFC radio right now. It's S-I-M-P-L-I safe.com slash KFC radio and you can start a 60-day risk-free trial along with free shipping. So go to simplysafe.com

slash KFC radio and start protecting you, your loved ones, and your belongings today. How long has it been? Probably pretty long. We'll just do a couple. It's been an hour already? It's not long. I would have guessed longer than that. There you go.

Do you feel like it's short? No, I think that's... I'm happy it's been an hour. Yeah. We'll do, what, three voicemails? Yep. Hey, what's up guys uh using only the knowledge that you can gather on google how far back in time would you have to go to be smarter than a doctor of that time it's convoluted but i think i understand it of all, I have to give a shout out to Wallo267.

Did you hear him on the radio? No. I didn't actually get a chance to listen to it, but I am setting aside time at some point this week to listen to this segment because I find it fascinating. He got out of jail. Probably not got out of jail. He probably exaggerated a little bit,

but he was in jail and needed to be told what Google was. Oh yes, yes, yes. You could make the argument that there's been probably a handful of times in history. I would probably say three times off the top of my head and probably several, many,

many more because I'm not a historian here. We got to get to Stefano and Giannis Papas to weigh in on it. But I think missing the 17 years he missed is arguably like the craziest 17 and i would say like maybe like the industrial revolution and maybe like the renaissance yeah it was like three times in history renaissance industrial and information technology revolution like wallow went to jail and was talking on flip phones and using Prodigy and came out to iPhone 10, Google, Netflix, LinkedIn, Uber, all of social media, blogs, podcasts. The world as he knew it was completely different.

That is fucking fascinating. That is crazy. Describe to me Google. It's not that hard, but what would you say say it's just like you look up stuff a technological database of information i think who makes it i don't know like fucking google other people put stuff on the internet google directs yeah no i don't know how to describe google but i just i don't know man just go to google.com just put in whatever you want shout out to google fucking bing yahoo all that shit just didn't work i feel like it's

the name google see but also here's the deal too like we're sucking our own dicks about you know personal sports at the valuation it has bing is worth so much more yeah that's that's true. I think about that sometimes. Like the failures of... It's a hundreds of millions of dollars company. Well, it's like when Apple has taken over the world and it's like, oh, like Windows. Right.

The PCs took a hit. Yeah, okay, bro. Fucking... Every company in the world. IBM is like the number one company in the world. Yeah. And they're just quietly it. I bet they love it.

Yeah, everyone can talk about Apple and fucking Google and shit like that. I agree. We're number one company in the world. And they're just quietly in. I bet they love it. Everyone can talk about Apple and fucking Google and shit like that. I agree. We're number one. I've always said I've always wanted to be like Jack Johnson, like a rich guy who's awesome but really can walk down the street. They're kind of that of companies. You're not talking about it. It's crazy that fucking – it is.

No one cares about the company. It's a failure. No, they're worth $700 million. But honestly? I don't know what the exact number is. Can's like, oh, no one cared about the company. It's a failure. No, they're worth $700 million. But honestly? I don't know. I don't know what the exact number is. Can you Google real quick? Like, is Bing really like a billion-dollar company?

I mean, Bing's owned by Microsoft, so yes. But I don't know about Bing itself. I feel like Bing on its own should be worth $300,000. No. Like, no, I know that. But I'm saying that should be what it's worth. Like, who in the world goes to Bing.com? I do not know, but I just know.

Right? But I mean, like, how is this even fucking possible? Anyway, this question, a little bit weird, but using all the information of Google right now. If I went, you know, right now doctors are smarter than me, obviously. Ten years ago, doctors were smarter than me. A hundred years ago, with my information now, doctors are still smarter than me. 200, 300, how many years, how many hundred years? Doctors were smarter than me the entire, there's no time where a doctor was not smarter than me.

But. I have no knowledge. I have no information. There's nothing. But I mean, you know, it would require work work so that's also the second half of this question like how long am i going to sit there on google and research probably not a lot but actually you know what i think you know you say you brought you brought he brings you bring google with you okay so you go back to like the 1600s and a doctor is like okay uh this guy this you know

they used to like like let you bleed on purpose. They'd be like, this guy has an infection. Get all the blood out of his body. I would be like, no, no, no, no. You gotta like, I don't know, fucking Google what to actually do. So I'm smarter than you right now. Oh, then I don't think it's that far then. How far do you think it's gotta go?

I thought it was just like, my brain. Intelligence? Yeah, yeah. No, but like, you would have access to it. So like would it be you think 100 years ago you're smarter than doctors? I think 100 years ago I was so smarter. Oh, I think closer than that. I think I was smarter than doctors like five years ago. I think I'm smarter. I think I'm smarter than doctors.

I mean, they have Google too. I think I'm smarter than doctors. You at least got to go pre-Google, bro. Because doctors have Google too. No, but they have access to the same information you have i'm i'm i'm smarter than doctors post 2000s why i just am because of google no i just i think they just did things that were wrong and i i know so like dr j. James Andrews in the year 2000. Not all of them. Not all of them.

But if I wanted to go back. Well, I mean, the other discussion here is, like, I could find you a stupid doctor. I could find you a stupid lawyer. There's many dumb people in every profession who are probably wildly successful. I mean, like, Dr. James Andrews was around in the 2000s. You're not smarter than him. No. So you're just banking on finding a dumb doctor.

I'm smarter than the doctors who finished last in medical school. I don't know. Yes, I do. I am. I am. If you finish last in school, I'm smarter than you because... Any school, law school, doctor school, whatever. Doctor school.

Because you're a fucking moron, Kevin. Doctor school. You weren't even smart enough to drop out. Yeah, that's true, too. of school. Doctor's school. Because you're a fucking moron, Kevin. Doctor's school. You weren't even smart enough to drop out. Yeah, that's true, too. And I was. That's true. I knew nothing was happening with me. I dropped out.

One of the proudest moments I've ever been as a friend, I had a buddy who dropped out of law school because he was not doing well. In law school, if you don't finish in the top 10%, you're not going to get the job going. And he was like, I'm not cutting it. I'm out of here. I was like, here you go.

I was reading a blog post the other day about a lawyer. She's now four years graduate from law school makes like forty thousand dollars yeah well that now that's that has to do with health care and all that shit now like becoming a doctor and spending all that money on school is that is dumb actually you know what right now we're smarter than all the doctors trying to become doctors right now all of them because they're going to medical school. And they're spending hundreds of thousands of dollars for a gig that's going to get you like $130,000. You might as well peddle smut.

Next up. Wait. Oh, never mind. I was like, what was the question? It was a doctor thing. Bing is over a billion. Unbelievable. I knew it. Is Google pushing a trillion? Is. What? Bing is over a billion. I knew it.

Is Google pushing trillion? Is that right? Is that crazy? It doesn't sound crazy. I don't know the answer. I feel like Bing being a billion is still a massive failure story. It's like billionaires. Hey, KFC, Vice Super Producer DC.

Quick question, simple question. I went to a family party recently, and there's like 30, 40 people there, but everybody had to take their shoes off at the door. So it's like a family party, and everybody's walking around either, you know, socks on, barefoot, what have you. I get it. It's like a one-on-one type of deal, but I'm not even the type of guy to,

you know, make people take their shoes off when they come through the door. I get it. There's snow on the ground right now. I just want to know, like, where's that line? Where is it weird?

Where you gotta like, I'll tell you the line. It's what he just said. If you show up to someone's house and it's like a muddy snowstorm, rain it weird where you gotta like I'll tell you the line It's what he just said If you show up to someone's house And it's like a muddy snowstorm rainstorm And you're like Obviously visibly gonna be like tracking shit All over their floor

You can take your shoes off Right Otherwise We're grown adults We keep our shoes on You keep your shoes on It's fucking crazy In fact

So my super Um Who Uh So I did the bundle of laundry recently. We're coming to the Super Bowl. I needed some other pants. I pooped in most of them.

And people loved that story and hated that story all at once. It was a great story. Sweet and savory. It was. Honestly, like every tweet about that story meant so much much more than any tweet about like Barstool sale. That's all I care about. All I care about is making people laugh. It really I want to make money.

Okay, here's a hypothetical for you real quick. How much money would you need to make to be the to be like the not funny guy at Barstool, to be a tech guy at Barstool? I don't know. The number has to be astronomical to me. I got nothing if I'm not the funny guy. I can't even imagine that. I wouldn't want to do it. All I want to do is... It's so much fun making people laugh.

And every single tweet... Isn't that inherently a little narcissistic for two guys who openly hate themselves? It's like, come here, come here. inherently a little narcissistic for, for two guys who like openly hate, hate themselves. It's like, come here, come here. No,

I'm extraordinarily narcissistic, but also like social anxiety. It's so funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh no. It's like you're uncomfortable in a room, but you want to make all these people laugh.

Nothing about any of us makes any sense. No, it really doesn't. That's why we work. That tweet that kid sent was like individually, your body parts are attractive, but together they don't make sense. Did you say that on the podcast yet?

I don't know. I forget, but whatever. At some point, this kid tweeted me and he said, all your body parts are attractive, but when you put them together, they don't work. And he's right. It's the meanest thing ever.

And that's how most of my brain is, too. Everything I think, it makes sense, but it doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't. No, absolutely. You're walking contradiction. But what were we talking about? So the shoes and being funny. You made people laugh at the poop story.

You just want to be the funny guy. Right. I think that was it. And now back to the shoes. So you drew a line with the shoes? No, he said we draw a line. What was the question? Where do you draw a line?

My fucking stupid ass super yes yes there we go we landed that plane the so like he lives down there with his fucking

wife and kid and his fucking stupid ass kid always has his scooter outside and his sneakers and all their the whole family

sneakers outside and like I wanted to shit in them because it's like outside the door yeah you deserve it because you're such an asshole you're such an awful person Sneaky's outside And like I wanted to shit in them Cause it's like Outside the door? Yeah You deserve it Because you're such an asshole

You're such an awful person That leaving your shit out here Are they Asian? No No I think they're Like some kind of European I feel like that's an Asian thing But it's

Like an Eastern European Like Like not a Like you know They're not fucking Parisian Yeah They're like Bratislava

Yeah Well Bratislava We both knew Yeah buddy Bratislava. Well, well, well. Bratislava. We both knew. Yeah, buddy. Bratislava. Yeah, buddy. The, uh.

Shout out to you. Oh, yeah. I want to, like, fucking piss in his shoes or something. Like, dude, you're such a dickhead. You, if you are the kind of person who makes people take their shoes off, they deserve Well, that's the thing. You want to take, you and your family take shoes off? Whatever.

Okay, weirdos. Little kids? Sure. Take your shoes off. Grown adults? You fucking keep your shoes on, bruh., weirdos. Little kids. Sure. Take your shoes off. Grown adults. You fucking keep your shoes on, bro. You keep your shoes and your socks on. Word to Sebastian Maniscalco.

He's got the best set ever on this. Grown men with their toes out at like a dinner party. What the fuck are we doing? Why do I have to do it? It's a current episode. Current episode? Yeah. It's one of the most, I think.

You know what? It's like, it's one of those things. It's like, are people doing this? Like, it feels so universally agreed upon that the only, I think, you know what? It's like, it's one of those things. It's like, are people doing this? Like it's, it feels so universally agreed upon that. The only thing I'll give an exception to is I, I'm not there yet with this, but I can understand if you're like a stay at home mom and you like clean the house all day and then you're having a dinner party and like you just clean up after your kids and then people just kind of roam in the place again.

If that was me, I could maybe see myself being like, I know that I'm being an asshole and I don't fucking care. Take your shoes off. Cause I've been here for 75 straight days. You know what I mean? So if that's the case, fine. Tell everyone to fuck off. If you're just a regular person who's like, oh, we just redid the floors, take your shoes off, suck a dick. Final voicemail of the day.

Final voicemail of the episode. What do we got? What's up, KFC Fight? Quick question for you. So I am a college student, and I only have one testicle. One testicle? And there's no problems because of it. Like, everything works fine. He just answered me.

It's normal. It just isn't exactly normal. When am I supposed to bring this up to a girl girl do I have to and I don't know I don't think I've ever thought about this yeah what is it you know is he worried about bringing up one nut yeah well we're in a very specific situation right here Casey Casey has to be sitting up here what do you think about a guy with one nut like if a guy if you were dating a guy or you were seeing a guy who had one testicle would he have to tell you before he took his pants off or something would you notice right away do what wait i don't know if you i bet you wouldn't notice right away

no i think you would notice i mean i don't know i've never i've never run into that but i feel like it would be something that i might want a little bit of a warning about would you be like mad would you be like no i wouldn't be mad no but i mean i feel like if drunk no like if we're if we're like drinking and hooking up like probably not but like i do feel like there's situations where like hey just so you know don't be alarmed well i i also think like uncircumcised penises could also be in that category no you don't have to disclose that no i'm not saying you disclose it but you have to understand that if you don't a girl might have like a reaction to yeah that's true i think you know that though and i think you probably know that with one not two

i feel like if you if you're like dating someone or or you're gonna get serious with them it's more about you probably have like a story that you're not telling them like did you have cancer did you like is there injury like you're just it's not that you're not telling them about the specific you're just not giving me a story that you should be telling me about yourself but i feel like i feel like it's more like if a girl was gonna to get mad, you shouldn't date her anyways. But then it's also so I was hooking up with a guy. We were only hooking up drunk. So I never noticed.

One morning he was asleep, went down under the covers, found out he was uncircumcised that way. And it did shock me a little bit. How many times before you knew? How many times was that penis inside you before you realized that? I'm sorry. I feel like uncircumcised penises, you don't know unless they're soft.

Did you blow him? Look, Casey, I've watched porn. I can tell you straight up. Yeah, I know. Uncircumcised dick, circumcised dick. But I just said I was drunk

and it was at night. Yeah, but still, I watch porn drunk too. John, you can't tell me that if it's dark in a room and you're hooking up drunk after a bar and his dick is hard that I would know if it was uncircumcised or not

you can't tell me that I can't tell you anything I can tell you what I would do and I would while I was sucking that dick I would notice I mean I found out very quickly that's a funny thing you're like oh shit yeah I was like oh and then he was like yeah my parents are real assholes and they just didn't circumcise and then I just didn't care anymore if you don't hook your kids up with the little snip snip That's a funny thing. You're like, oh, shit. Yeah, I was like, oh. And then he was like, yeah, my parents are real assholes.

And they just didn't circumcise. And then I just didn't care anymore. If you don't hook your kids up with the little snipsnip, you're an asshole. But the one ball thing, I don't know. I mean, it wouldn't bother me. But I do feel like it would shock me at first. I think my first thing would be like, okay, we're not hooking up right now. I need to know what the fuck happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know if you would notice. If you're just at a bar hitting on a girl and it's going well and you go home, you do not need to disclose that. No, I'd agree with that. I feel like sometimes they get lost. Sometimes you don't even know. You ever put it inside? What? You ever push your nut inside?

Right now, my nut's inside me. I can push them up into where my fupa would be. It's not inside of me. I'm pushing it around. Right now, it's where my fupa would be. The only way you could put it somewhere is put it in put in your asshole no you're going the wrong way this is like push it up where like your pubic bone is like that that that pelvis bone i can push it like in between my bone and my like like beneath my belly button like way beneath my way lower than my belly button

is where my nuts can go maybe that's a hidden trick oh there you go No I think that was in my ass