KFC Radio - Handsome Hank Recaps His Wild Karaoke Night With Loud Sean ft. Sam Jay & Jak Knight

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

- Feits' inability to solve math f*cks him over him once again, this time jeoprodizing his trip to Jamaica - grandparents stories / how many grandparents do you know? - Ronaldo slapped the hand and phone of a kid who happened to be autistic - Jackie can't jump / her Tik Tok video - Gillie vs Wiz Khalifa beef which resulted in Gillie losing his Instagram account with over 2 million followers - Hank recaps his wild night with Loud Sean and Dana beers, and they reminisce old barstool days - Top 5 years - Video Voicemails - song you'd die to - never grow hair or never cut hair - skipping a wedding for KFCR live show - Interview with Sam Jay & Jak Knight ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Feits' might not make it to Jamaica 22:44 - Grandparents 46:23 - Ronaldo hit a kid 50:10 - Jackie's TikTok video 1:05:27 - Gillie v.s. Wiz Khalifa 1:10:07- Hank x Sean Karaoke crossover 1:23:45 - Top 5 Years 1:47:34 - Video Voicemails 2:01:56- Sam Jay & Jak Knight Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Allbirds: Discover your perfect pair at https://barstool.link/AllbirdsBSS today. Blue Nile: Go to https://barstool.link/bluenileBSS and use code KEVIN for $50 off $500 Gametime: Download the Gametime app and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). Priceline: Visit https://barstool.link/Priceline to get the most out of your trip Revitalyte: Pick up Revitalyte Black Label today in-stores or online at https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/revitalyte-black-labelYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. After that, he took my phone and just turned around and just fucking chucked it up the wall. My inability to do math has fucked me again. Tell me you're not flying to Jamaica this week. I'm flying. I don't know if they're going to let me in Kevin Because my PCR test isn't ready I got a test Alright

Hear me out This makes sense I'm flying to Jamaica Tuesday 72 hours beforehand you gotta get a PCR test I got one Sunday That's 3 days before No It's like 30 hours from when I got the test To That's three days before. No.

It's like 30 hours from when I got the test to when I fly to Jamaica. No shot will I have that test. I don't know what's going to happen when I land. Wait, you got the test on Sunday? Sunday, yes. My flight is tomorrow morning. But your flight's on Tuesday. Tomorrow morning. That's not 72 hours.

But it's Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. That's not how it works. I've learned that now, Kevin. I have since learned that it is not 72 hours from Sunday to Tuesday. However, I was pretty sure it was going to be 72 hours. That's like three times on the calendar. Three times 24, 72. 72 hours.

I was sitting in the fucking doctor's office being like, this isn't gonna work. Dude, I'm gonna be like fucking fucking Leo DiCaprio at Inception hoping that fucking, the deal's gone through by the time my plane lands. But there's no chance that deal's gonna be gone through.

Now, PCR can take up 272, right? So maybe you're gonna get lucky. Maybe I get it in two. What time of day did you get this? Yesterday at like 2 p.m. So you're really only gonna get like 36 hours. Yeah, I get it in two. What time of day did you get this? Yesterday at like 2 p.m. So you really only get like 36 hours. Yeah, I'm not getting it. You're going to get like 40 hours.

There's literally no chance. I don't know. No, but there is because if they give you, if it's up to 72, you have a chance. If it takes 72, you're like barely halfway there. If it was like 6 a.m. Sunday and you were leaving like 9 p.m tuesday like maybe maybe it could work but like but but two the middle of the day sunday to tuesday morning it's not 72 hours it's just not that's rich like i there's there's no way i'm the first person to ever fuck this up so there has to be some kind of system in place

Well, there's definitely plenty of morons But let's be honest If you do this, you are a moron I don't know what's going to happen So to paint the picture I don't know if they let me in the contract I don't know if they send me back I don't know

But I'm just going to fucking jump on a plane and see what happens Oh, so they don't check you here, they check you there? Yeah, that's what I think So I don't fucking know. Do you think I've done any research on this, bro? Clearly not. I think Jamaica is a place where you can be like, here's like $100, I'm good. Yeah, dude, I'm not doing that.

You're not one of those guys. No chance am I doing that. You're not one of those guys. No. I'm not a fucking commit bribery in a foreign country guy yeah you're right that's the problem if it was if it was something a little lesser i could maybe do it but like potentially violating global health codes in a foreign country with bribery is probably not the move it's not i'm not it's not something I'm going to do. It's not something I'm going to do. It's not something I'm going to do. It's not something I'm going to do. I would say you're an idiot.

Yeah. I would say you're not the only idiot who has ever done this, but everyone that has done it is an idiot. Yeah. I would say you are going to get in, though. I think I'll get in. Because I bet you there's something. Jamaica is not like, it's pretty, like when you fly into Jamaica, it's like a real airport, right?

Or no? I don't remember, really. Where did we go that one time? Didn't we go somewhere for barstool? I would guess. I believe, yeah. I believe the answer to that is yes. Didn't we go somewhere for barstool, like an island somewhere one time?

Didn't we go somewhere that was, no. I'm trying to think. The last time I went somewhere that was like... I landed in an airstrip. And it was just like, you're in the country now. I've done that. Nassau's like that. Maybe that's what I'm thinking.

No. Actually, maybe Nassau's not like that. There's another... No, because that's what I was going to say. Bahamas is not like that. I feel like you get to a decent... Yeah, no, the... I'm just having a...

I lost my passport at the Bahamas airport once. I i mean there's a theme here with your ability to travel successfully it's i went i just went back it was just still at the payphone i was trying to use this was like when i was in high school oh you got it back you just left it there i just left it there and i like dude that could have been such a bad bad problem i mean that is just how like you end up getting charged with a murder or smuggling or something. So you just did the old Sundays a day, Mondays a day, Tuesdays a day.

I'm just impressed you even knew that three days is 72 hours. I'm surprised you weren't like, I need this whole week in advance. 72 hours? I gotta go two weeks ago. I'm glad we're talking about it now because I've been having a panic attack about it for about well so okay what i was gonna say is to paint the picture we were upstairs on the on the business floor and one of the girls said how you guys doing and i said you know just

doing the cringeworthy cube monkey talk i said i'm doing good i mean i'm not going to jamaica like this guy you know fuck him and she and i just hear John who was in front of us. He just goes, and we'll see about that. And I was like, what does that mean? I was thinking more like you've got drama or something's going to happen there that you're not looking forward to. And then we get down here and I was talking about our plan to, to do the podcast. And he was like, maybe I'll, he said, I need to Skype. No, this doesn't make sense though. So John said, I need, I'll need to Skype in. And I said, you don't have to worry about that. I can just cover the episode. And he goes, no, no, no, I need to Skype in.

But you either get there and there's no need to Skype in or you get denied and you're – No, I think I'm going to get there, but I think it's going to be an ordeal. Okay. Oh, okay. I think I'm going to – So you want to Skype in and talk about how you had to bribe someone or how you had to – I would put this out of the air right now. I'm not bribing anyone.

But if some guy says to you, like, you can't get in without a PCR test or $100. Wink, wink. You know what I mean? Well, that's not really a bribe. That's just paying a fee. That's what bribing these guys is, is paying a fee to get... But they're up front about the fee.

I'm not going to be sorry. If they're like, give me $100. You're not going to be the old, like, put it in your hands, like, here you go, sir. Yeah, and neither would I. So there are certain guys that can do that, and I wish I was one of them, and I'm not um but you'll you'll need to zoom in and explain just how you either ended up in jamaica in a jamaican prison or maybe you won't be skyping

maybe you'll just be sitting here we shall see i uh i also have not told my dad about this because he is going to be furious like really the whole my dad's gonna wait this is the one that your the girls went to paris so we're going to yeah just the fellas so it's gonna be him and benny instead yeah any extended family or just the boys well at least he's got one other if he was just like that's why he had one other he was like this one's gonna fuck up all the time uh this lemon is not going to be an enjoyable Father's Son experience. So let me get another one. He is going to be so mad.

So you have not even considered talking to him? Because maybe he can help or know something. No, no. I wouldn't do that either. I would ride this out. I would get there and be like, why, whatever do you mean, Jamaica? What are you talking about? Because you need like a paper or.

I don't. I'm never going to get a paper. I have like an app because I got it. So now you're in the. I also like maybe what if I just had like fucking quigs for something. That was going to be what I said. Also super illegal. Sure.

I'm going to jail for it. I'm going to check right now. Maybe my test came in. Maybe it just came in fast. I don't think that's going to happen because you just don't, like, have the benefit of that, like, happening in this universe. You know what I mean? Like, what if I just show an old one? So there's a couple things here. Show me what they – this reminds me of my days when I used to try to bootleg the Metro North passes. If you used to ride the rails back in the day, Metro North, to get into the city,

you could get a monthly pass that was different colors for different months. And I used to try to, like, not me personally, but I would know a kid who could do, like, Photoshop, and I would be like, this month's color is, like, pink. Can you, like, match this? And I'll print it out. And I had one of those wallets with a window. So yeah so like you weren't going to be touching it and feeling it and see that it was like that's not how it feels it's just going to be like a quick flip you know

but they had a hologram on it and got wise to that and then also on the i used to have a pass on my phone for the what's it called the, the boat? The ferry. No. And I used to, they had this thing that went back and forth on it, like bounced back and forth, so you couldn't just screenshot a thing. But I was like, I'm just going to have someone make a GIF of this. Yeah. And just have it be a looping GIF. I never did because I think I moved eventually, but I should have just had Quigs make a GIF because these things,

unless they need to, they're you know, if it's just like a here you go. I would think they'd just flash it. Like, I have the vaccine. Why do I have to do all this stupid stuff for it? And that was my like third, fourth, whatever point was like, I think you're going to be okay. If it was like April 2020, you're fucked.

April 2022, I feel like people might be like, all right, just go. Jamaica, we have a problem. You know what I mean? I think you're going to be alright, but the main thing... I'm just a white man showing up to the Caribbean with a disease. That's not a problem, is it? There's never been an issue before.

History doesn't repeat itself. The good thing for you, the good thing for you as a son right now and as a person, unless your father listens to this year episode, he's not going to know this. He's not. So what you can do now, because it's not a piece of paper, because it is something on your phone that they're supposed to send you, you can do the old, like, I don't know what happened. Yeah. They should have sent it to me.

They didn't. If it was something that you had to go pick up, it's on you. And trust me, I have a lot of experience in this in college. Yeah, and honestly – Why doesn't my email go through? And honestly, that is the beauty of technology because no matter how good they get at it, there will always be a little wiggle room of just like, it didn't work. You can straight up Costanza that and be like, the email didn't go through. The attachment didn't attach.

They were supposed to email me. It just didn't work. So I did the rapid with it just because. Why not? They didn't send that either. They were supposed to. They literally did not send that to me. They were like, you'll have that from us in 10 minutes.

That email never came. So that's for real. It is. The result is in my fucking portal. Don't worry. I'm negative. I have the vaccine Don't worry, I'm negative. I have the vaccine. Of course I'm negative.

So that literally never sent that email. So I don't have high hopes that they're going to send the PCO. But you're also already at that plausible deniability level of like, well, you guys didn't send any of this shit you're supposed to send. So what the fuck? So you can at least when your father is like, what the fuck, you can be like, this fucking, you know, the bureaucratic government here, these fucking guys wouldn't even send me the thing.

You know how email works. It never works. Least reliable thing in the world, email. Your father will probably be like, you're right. You know what? The local paper was supposed to send me a, they never did. So you'll be able to weasel your way out of being the idiot of the trip. No, you'll be the idiot, but it won't be like your fault.

Yeah, no, it won't be. I mean, it will be, 100%, because I can't do math. But the... Boy, did you just fuck yourself again. I mean, it's crazy. I was just like, yeah, 72 hours. Walk me through, like, when did you figure this out? In the doctor's office.

When, though? Yesterday? Yesterday. When you got the shot. Yeah. So Sunday at 2 p.m. About 2.05. So Sunday, it's like ingone in you, and you're like, nope, this isn't even going to be worth it.

Like, there's no reason to do this. Oh, no, you're getting a shot. You're getting a test. So you're just sitting there. Yeah, and you're just like, nope, this. Like, I would love to have been there for the light bulb when you were just like, oh, wait a minute. It was like the nurse did the swab, and she's like, all right, the doctor's got to come in just because it's like how it works. I know.

We all know you're just doing this for travel, but the doctor's just got to come in. I hope you have a good time and enjoy the trip. And for some reason, when she said that, I was like, I'm not going to because I'm not going on it. The trip is soon yeah there was a sign on the door that said like PCR tests are taking two to three days and I was like but see two to three

there's a chance I land and it's there honestly you're even tight on that because I don't think you're going to get a full 48 well because I leave tomorrow morning at 10am 2 o'clock to 2pm would be 24. And then from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. would give you 36. And then when are you leaving?

But I leave at 10 a.m. I don't land until like 2.30. So I'll hit 48. But like right there. If they're fucking. So you're going to barely hit the minimum. And we're talking about, you know, the American health care system. Right. Oh, yeah. You might not see this for 10 days. I was telling Nate about it. He's like, did you call and maybe ask him to put a rush on it? and we're talking about the American health care system. Right.

You might not see this for 10 days. I was telling Nate about it. He's like, did you call and maybe ask him to put a rush on it? No, because that's not a fucking thing. I had the audacity, the audacity to ask the DMV if they could send my license faster, and they were like, no, no. And then I was like, can you at least least can you send me something that just says it's being processed but i am a licensed driver and again they were like it's like even just like an email from someone like with an email that says at dmv.ny or something being like mr clancy is good

like you could do that yeah you could yeah, yeah. You could literally do that. And they're just not going to. Motherfuckers. Well, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Again, there is clearly a system in place. I'm not the first person to land in a foreign country without the PCR test. No, and that's why I also think, like, if there's an emergency, if there's situations where people are like, my family member's dying, I just had to get on the plane and

come. Like, there's got to be a game. There is also, I bought, or my dad bought for me uh my daddy uh like i skip customs i have like this pass where i just skip customs so your dad bought that eh it is it's like uh it's i'm sure i still go through customs but i don't i don't go through with the rest of the riffraff i got my own customs room i go to um interesting which i think is just something they do in, like, tourist countries. To smuggle drugs, yeah. In tourist countries where you're just like,

ah, we can get a couple extra bucks out of some tourists. And, like, here, you go to a special room for customs. It's waiting in line. So I'm thinking maybe if I have that situation. They still, like, open your bags. I'm sure. Because they can't, like, they would just be like, I have that too As I bring

500 pounds of weed through Yeah Right Yeah bring weed I'm the first person To bring weed into Jamaica To Jamaica Yeah yeah

Um But there's I think I'm gonna be okay I think you are too Because as much as Like if it was me I'm ending up In a Jamaican prison

You are an idiot But luck is on your side in some ways. You know what I mean? Two grandfather clocks. Two grandfather clocks. Nobody else in this world has ever won two grandfather clocks before the age of like 10. Yeah. Okay? Two grandfather clocks.

Two grandfather clocks, baby. Yeah, I think you're going to be all right, and I don't know why. I think they're not even going to ask me to see the PC. For some reason, I think you're going to be all right, and I don't know why. I think they're not even going to ask me to see the PC. For some reason, I think you're just going to, like, breeze through. I'm going to go to a wrong door, and I just end up outside. Right. Well, that's why I asked, too, about, like, the situation in Jamaica. Because, like, you end up in fucking JFK.

You're, like, in a government building. You go to some of these other places It's like You guys are walking to like The tarmac I'm just gonna walk into that jungle Over there Like dad Meet me by the river over there No

I've done I've been to Montego Bay before I believe it's a real airport I'm just kinda getting Like different Caribbean Destinations Come to Jamaica And

You wanna know You wanna know something That's weird by the way I say Pirates of the Caribbean, but the Caribbean. But you do say Caribbean. Pirates of the Caribbean. Let's go to the Caribbean. So do I, I think.

Yeah. Very bizarre. I do that too. Caribbean's correct, right? I think. No, I actually want to say Caribbean's correct. I'm thinking of the accent. I'm like, welcome to the Caribbean, man.

But the beer is called Carib, right? Not Carib. Caribbean. Caribbean. That is like Caribbean. Caribbean is correct. Caribbean. Yeah, the Caribbean. Okay, that's what I said. But you know what I'm talking about? There's that beer that's called

Carib, and I always thought that was just like the first half of Caribbean. It's like an island beer. I actually don't know that. But maybe I made that up. Can you search that? You're saying Calic? C-A-R-I-B beer.

Maybe that's, maybe I'm thinking of Calic. Calic's with a K. That's a Bahamian beer. No, just do C-A-R-I-B beer. Carib beer. Yeah, it exists, right? Oh, but it's in capital. Because I always just thought it was like We uh We just cut

Cause then you would Then you would say like Let me get a Carib Oh I actually don't know If I've ever seen this Cause it is like From the islands no Caribbean life

Yeah so that's weird Unless I'm pronouncing That wrong too I bet you are But you know what That's one of those things I don't care how you say it I don't care how you say it I don't care how you say it

just commit to it it's like I don't know sometimes I still slip up and say radiator and I just don't care I know it's wrong I know that it radiates heat

it doesn't radiate heat but we just fucking say radiator where we come from I don't know man I'm physically fighting my son these days over Mario he has a pair of pajamas

I haven't told this on the podcast I don't think so he has a pair of pajamas. I haven't told this on the podcast. He has a pair of pajamas that have Mario on it and he's playing Mario Kart. But we don't talk about it a lot. I think the only time he's hearing it is on the game and other people on YouTube and shit because he watches

YouTube all the time. So all of a sudden I hear him start saying Mario. And I was like in this house we say Mario. And so I start like every time he says it I start shaking him and tickling him. I'm like we say Mario here and he's like it's Mario.

And then we're laughing about it but I'm dead serious about trying to like conversion therapy over here. I start shocking him every time he says Mario. He also I forgot time he says Mario. He also, I forgot that he says Mario, like Mario. Because he has an Italian accent.

Mario, the character says Mario. Well, the second you start walking around being like rolling your R's and talking like an Italian plumber, you can say Mario too. But we're all just fucking scumbags from America. We say Mario. Shay the other day said Cran.

Cran? And I like stopped what we were doing and I made it like a teaching lesson. I was like, let's sound it out. What do you say? You idiot. It's crayon. It's crayon. Oh, no. What you are saying is eliminating so many letters.

You're just saying C-R-A-N. Crayon. Less word, do more word quickly. Like why would you just ignore a Y and an O? This is not like an E on the end or like an extra letter. A Y and an O drastically change a word. It's crayon. And so I sat Shay down and I was like.

Those are two letters that do a lot of carrying. A, A, well, you know, and like to be, it is crayon. This is not a, you are saying it wrong, little girl, and I am teaching you now. How do you say mayonnaise? Mayo. Mayonnaise. Yeah what do you say? Mayonnaise. Skipping the same letters.

I kind of got us there. Mayonnaise. No I say mayonnaise. You kind of got me over a barrel here. I say mayonnaise. I do. I say mayonnaise mayonnaise that is one of those things truly gun to my head spell mayonnaise right i would pull the trigger for you like i and i know n-a-i-s-s-e maybe maybe i think there's two n's in there somewhere no a couple s's i don't know

i would legitimately like just you said that so confidently i mean did you just make it up? I didn't make it up. It's how I think you spelled the word. It was like your guess. It's two N's, one S. It is one. Oh, wow. I would never, never in a million years get that. So mayonnaise. There's two N's back to back like that?

Never. That got me on the original Barstool spelling bee. Mayonnaise. But that's also a French word. The fuck is crayon, then? I don't know. Crayola is not a fucking French word. No, that's...

I mean, if it's spelled like the same letter, I don't know. That'd probably be French. Why? You're just saying that because... Why is mayonnaise French? I don't know. It sounds mayonnaise or some shit, you know? That's not a French accent. There's an. It sounds mayonnaise or some shit, you know?

That's not a French accent. Is it A-I-S-E? You know? I bet you mayonnaise is a French word. Pabst? Look it up. I bet you mayonnaise is... Honestly, the one S at the end makes me think it's not a French word. Because they double S a lot.

Whoa. What the hell is Mexican? I guess I would never have guessed that the Mayo people. Mayo people. Wait, no, no, no, no,

no, no. You looked up language. You looked up the language, dude. It's French. It's French. Yeah. Oh, beautiful man.

Crayon. Also French. Wow. Yeah! Oh! Beautiful, man. Crayon, also French. Wow! Let's go! A-Y apparently is a French thing, huh? Crayola and crayons? Is that a French thing? History and etymology of crayon. Noun.

French. Crayon. Pencil from diminutive. Cray. Chalk from Latin. Crayta. These fuckers like A's and Y's, huh? A-Y-O's.

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latest trip. Visit Priceline.com to get the most out of your trip. We got Sam Jay and Jack Knight on the show from the new show Bust Down. And it is, they are so fucking funny, man. This is one of my favorite interviews we've had in a while i mean like i like i said i don't know yeah we had we said burt we said tom we

we have we've had you know those are all they're all they're all funny they're all the same they're all we're all like white guys talking about white guy shit having two funny black comedians in talking to us is great because it's like we are from different worlds so when john says like i was molested by my babysitter all the white people are like and sam jay was like what the fuck does that mean dude or at one point you declared all teachers are drunk sluts and she was like i'm not gonna agree with that but okay i i'm right sam sam didn't have to agree with me i'm right she could be wrong. But their new show is, it kind of has like a workaholics vibe in my mind. Like just, you know, people working a dirty, grimy job in a casino.

And they're all just miserable trying to get through life. And it's very funny. And the interview is very funny. We did like top five good things that white people did. They were struggling. They couldn't come up with anything cool that white people do but it was very funny when they got one yeah yes the ones they did come up with it was great so that's on the show we'll get to uh top fives and voicemails of course um you see how insanely wide my head yes i did notice that actually that's preposterous

yeah let me try to put those on because i have a i just got a a shot of it. Yeah. Your glasses are like bent out of shape. Like why am I so fucking fat in the head? You got that fat baby head. You know what it is? It's steroids. Now I have a skinny head. That's why I look like Butthead from MTV. So this is going to be – I mean like – oh, it's not that bad.

No? No. I mean it's definitely loose but like I thought it was going to be, like – but, no, it still works. If I were to, like, walk, it would probably just, like, slowly fall down my face. That's why I got this big nose. The Roman nose, man. The way it looks, you know, really not that big of a difference, though. You look nice.

You look handsome. Thank you. You're welcome. You do, too. Thanks. Are you settling into no beard life and clean chest life? Clean chest, I don't. I don't.

I do not care for clean chest. Those nips still bother you. Are you prickly now? Let me feel that. Pop the top. No, I'm not really. I wouldn't say I'm prickly. I'm like.

Oh, yeah, because you don't really grow. You got the. You got the. It's a little bit. I need to wash my hands now. I don't want. I got my fucking nips all hard Look at me I'm fucking busted You are nipped up

I'm fucking nipped up for the boys And I just had the perfect angle You just gleeked I just gleeked too? As you were looking at your nips So I saw it go Yeah Check the table

I feel like you hit the table It was like I wish I had a camera this way It went I'm getting all fucking Yeah you're squirting You're squirting, dude. Oh, baby.

I got sensitive nips. I heard that there's a study I need to know about. About your grandparents. Oh, okay. Yes, yes. Fuck. Let me see if I can find this. Because, so earlier you were mentioning.

You want to tell that story? That's funny. Oh, earlier. Yeah, so we were talking about grandparents. Can you tell that story?'s funny oh earlier yeah so we were talking about grandparents um can you tell us sorry yeah yeah yeah i i was i was uh i was just learning stories about my grandmother um she she passed away like when i was very very young so i didn't really know her and uh and this is one of the this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard in my life the the the the she gave birth to many children many many many children seven children and uh and she um the at one point the kids they're all bigger people they're all like my

size not monsters but you know larger than average that's for sure yeah yeah um and everyone's about my size and they were having something of an intervention to get her to stop smoking. And she was smoking during this intervention. And one of the kids is like, Mom, you smoked while you were pregnant with all of us. And my grandmother takes a drag of her cigarette. She goes, look around this room right now. If I didn't smoke when I was pregnant with you, I'd have given birth to a herd of elephants.

That's such a good fucking lie. So good. I wasn't using poison to shrink the size of these fetuses. Because you know, she's popped out seven, right? She popped out seven kids. And every time they were coming out of her, like, oversized bowling balls. And every time she just had to be like, look at this. I'm birthing this, like, army of, like, overgrown babies.

She probably increased it. After the first one, she was probably like, I'm going two-pack today. And then she was thinking about the fact that a stampede of elephants came out of her vagina for the better part of a decade. Those women back in the day tip my cap to those broads.

They were either pregnant, birthing, or breastfeeding for like 12 to 15 straight years. It was crazy. They would finish and breastfeed for a little while, get in a couple glasses of whiskey. Well, they were drinking the whole time anyway. And just start over. I guess, though, if you're drinking and smoking the whole time, well, who cares?

That's the hard part for girls nowadays. You've got to give up all this shit. Back in the day, you didn't. You just had to deal with like, all right, I'm fat for a couple months, whatever. And you're still smoking and drinking, whatever. Dude, it's crazy the stuff, you didn't. You just had to deal with, like, all right, I'm fat for a couple months, whatever. I can still smoke and drink, whatever. Dude, it's crazy the stuff they used to do. You should tell us another story where she had such bad eyes, but she didn't want to go to the eye doctor.

She just didn't like doctors. Right. So she just drove a car full of kids around. No eyesight. Unable to see. And, like, there was one time they were stopped at a stop sign for eternity until my uncle eventually goes. She didn't realize. He's like, what are you doing, Ma?

Let's go. She goes, I'm waiting for that fat kid in the blue jacket to cross the street. It was a mail box. Crossing yards? It was a mailbox. It was a mailbox. I think you had such bad vision that you couldn't tell the difference between a mailbox and a human, and you're just driving all your kids around. Oh, my God. Those chicks, man.

There's just something about that generation that just cracks me up. We don't give a fuck. My grandma was the opposite. So she lived on City Island in the Bronx where it's just this little tiny island. It's about a mile long. And she just had a rule. She doesn't drive off island. She'll drive to and from these little houses on the island from my house to her house, from her house to the grocery store, whatever.

If she needs to leave the island, someone else has to drive. And she just stuck to it. We always had to go and pick her up and drop her off and she would smoke cigs in our car sometimes. I'm like, goddammit, grandma, hold on to the window. But she was just like, nope, that's just how I roll. And part of it, I think, is I lived through the goddamned Great Depression. I lived through the fucking wars.

I churned out like eight or nine kids. Fucking shut up. Just drive me to a place to get my cigarettes. Is this grandmother you walked in on the couch dead? Dead, yeah. She was a dead one. Now I do gotta say, she didn't give birth to seven.

My family's not one of those. She only had two kids probably because she was like, I'm fucking done with this shit. But yeah, I told that on Chrissy D. So I didn't think this was even a funny, a worthy podcast story until I started telling it on Chrissy Chaos. But the question on Chaos was, what is the what is your childhood memory that like scarred you or like was like, you know, overwhelming to have?

And I was like, I don't really have one. But then I started to tell it. I was like, oh, I guess I do. When my grandma was dying, I guess rather than doing like hospice where you just chill like at a place like uh what they call a cavalry or whatever and sloan kettering where you just like die in peace i guess they just sent her home and i'm thinking probably because of the smoking she probably wasn't allowed to smoke in like hospice so she was like just take me home and let me die at home where i can smoke cigarettes which is gangster and i'm actually down with that

but the problem is then you just got a dead body at your house so i was at my house she was at her sister's house my aunt's house and i get a phone call from my mom being like you know i don't i can't remember if it was like grandma's gone you should come or i think it was i don't think it was like get here for the last moment i think she was like grandma's dad like come here. And I got there and I walked up in the living room. The way her house worked, you walk up these steps. It was a strange house. As soon as you walk in, you walk up about eight steps and then the living room's right

there. And my grandma was just there on the couch, dead as a doornail, like with her mouth open. I wanted to go over and be like... Actually, it was more like Like her eyes were And it was kind of to the side It was like Dude

That's the most dead person I've ever heard of So fucking dead dude So dead I wanted to be like How long has she been dead guys It was like 15 minutes I wanted to poke her With a stick and stuff It was like You are dead grandma And wanted to be like, how long has she been dead, guys? It was like 15 minutes? I wanted to poke her with a stick and stuff.

It was like, you are dead, Grandma. And then I guess you just call a funeral home. She's not the first person. People die in their sleep all the time. But it's funny when it's like, dead body to pick up. Can you send somebody? And then they probably zip him up in the bag in the

house and just toss him over their shoulder. Throw him in the back, Louis C.K. style. Just fucking in the bag in the house, and they just toss them over their shoulder, throw them in the back, Louis C.K. style, just fucking got the body in there rolling around. Dude, when I – I had a similar situation, not the same, but similar, where it was like my grandmother died, and then it was like coming to the apartment. They lived in Boston. And it was like coming to the apartment, and I lived in Boston at the time. And a lot of my family was already there because it was like – it wasn't – was no kind of same kind of deal like yeah we're just coming home yeah coming home to die and i

got to the apartment and they were like he was i think it's my grandfather met me at the door and he was just like all right you want to go see nana she's in bed i was like she's dead dead well i'm not gonna go See that No You could've told me Dana was alive in bed And I'd say no I'll wait for her out here

Yeah I'm gonna pass on Dead grandma in bed Thank you very much Yeah the thing's like How old were you I was I was working at Barstool

Living in Boston Oh okay I was like mid 20s probably So that's even But it's funny At a young age too It's like You know

What do you do When you got like You're gonna The wakes and stuff? Dude, do you understand how fucking hungover I am right now? The last thing I want to do is look at an old dead woman. No thank you on that one, man. I'll sit in the living room and tell stories. Can I get a beer, by the way?

I once had a girl. She said to me, have you ever seen a dead body? I think we're doing like ATI conversations or something like that. So I probably should have picked up that it was like a little bit more on the lighter side. There's really no light way to have this conversation, I guess. But like she was saying, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, she's probably like even weirder. But she was like, have you ever seen a dead body? And I was like, yeah, yeah, a couple times actually.

Like I explained the story about my grandma. And then I have another person in my family that died that was like, have you ever seen a dead body? And I was like, yeah, yeah, a couple times actually. Like I explained the story about my grandma and then I have another person in my family that died that was like very tragic. And I told the story of that and how I was like around the body and like finished the story. And she was like, oh, like one time me and my friends like stumbled upon a dead guy in the woods.

That's what I mean. And at the time I thought that I was the one one like i thought i had the weirder story because i was i had this like emotional outpouring and she was kind of like oh i was just talking about like a dead homeless guy but now that i'm thinking about it the fact that her and her friends just stumbled upon a dead that's way way weird now that i'm saying it out loud. But it was just funny when I was like, and like seen, you know, like finished, like fought back all the tears. And she's like, oh yeah, we found like old man Marley dead in the woods. That's like what Max told us in the Sunny podcast when he found a dead body.

Like, uh, whatever. I forget what they say they used to drink in the show But whatever that hill is where the cool kids drink Underage drinking is a national concern And he's like that's a real park He's in high school He saw a dead body and called the police And the police got there and were like That's not a dead body

He's like no it is It's a dead body No it's a pile of clothes And he's like no it, it's a pile of clothes. And then he's like, no, it's not. His head is blood everywhere. I saw them go over there. And he's like, he had to convince the cops to go check. And they're like, nah, it's just a pile of clothes.

We'll get out of here. But it was a dead person. It was a dead person. Yeah. That's a cop being like, yeah, I got like 45 minutes to the end of my shift. I don't want to deal with a body right now. That's not a clothes man. So much paper.

It's just a pile of clothes, kid. He's like, no, it's not. I don't want to deal with a body right now. That's not a clothes man. So much paper. It's just a pile of clothes, kid. He's like, no, it's not. I saw it. He's got a bullet hole in his head. Like it's a murdered man. Dude, the other day, Shay says to me, Easter's coming up, right? Because it made me think about, you know, like me seeing the dead body as a young kid,

going to wakes, looking at the dead bodies, going to funerals. And I guess, you know, you got to teach kids about these things. Right. But Shay says to me, cause when my grandma, oh my God, my sister fucking almost murdered me with an Instagram post the other day when she was getting married, um, a couple weekends ago, she posts this thing on instagram it was a letter that my grandmother wrote her on her deathbed when my sister was probably like seven or something like that and she said little miss tish that's like her nickname um you have a great capacity to love my hope is that you will one day find someone who will love you in return it It's my hope that someday we will all

be together in the wonderful house that Pop has built. The thing we told kids in my family was Grandpa's going to heaven and he's building a house and we'll all be there together one day. So she writes that and then it finishes with remember. R-E-M-E-M dot dot dot dot dot.

All dramatic and shit. Remember? Like, I think she was about to write, like, remember, you know, whatever. And she just died? No, I don't think she died on the spot. Because she knew to do, like, the dot, dot, dot, you know? She's like, I'm going to take a quick nap. I'll get back to this in a moment.

Maybe. Maybe she did just die on the spot. But my sister just posted this and I was like Oh my god! I was a fucking puddle reading it. But it reminded me that we had this thing that we used to talk about the house in the sky. So

By the way, sorry to interrupt. I'm sure I was given throughout my life so many of those kind of things. These notes? Not even notes, but like trinkets and things like this. I want you to have this. I don't have shit. Throw it out. Dude, if you give things to kids, don't give things to kids.

My grandfather left me a pocket watch. Like, not a watch, like a pocket watch, right? It was this nice one. It had like a train on the front of it. I think it was like gold. I think it was really nice. And I was in like fourth grade, so I was like, this is kind of a cool thing. I lost it in like 35 seconds. Dude. I brought it to school. I brought it out to nice. And I was in like fourth grade, so I was like, this is kind of a cool thing. I lost it in like 35 seconds. I brought it to school. I brought

it out to play. I went to sports. My mom was like, where's the watch? I was like, oh, that's way gone. Way gone, lady. Straight out of the sandlot, I had one where my grandpa left me like a fucking Ted Williams baseball. I lost the baseball. I got that baseball.

I played with that baseball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truly I played with that baseball Yeah yeah yeah Like immediately Truly like playing with it Yeah no that's Kids are stupid like that But she So we

You know We're at the point We gotta kinda like explain Sometimes About death to Shay and shit But it's almost Easter And Shay I hear Shay say to my mom

The other day Oh my mom said What happens at Easter And she was like i don't know and she's like jesus dies and then rose from the dead and i'm already like this is fucking weird i think it's weird at all but i really don't even know if i want to be telling my kids these things i really had a moment of like i think i'm done with religion period you know and then she was like oh yes i know that because she goes to Catholic school. And then she goes, do you think he's here or is he still up on the cross? And I'm thinking to myself, this is a six-year-old girl who has to ask questions about do you think he got down or is he still nailed to the cross?

Is his soul still being eternally tortured? Do you think that the crucifixion torture is still going on? It's like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, like, does he die? I remember being like, does he die from the blood or the asphyxiation? Or was it when they stabbed him in the rib with the spear? That's the one that did it when blood just came everywhere Dude, did you remember? I think it was in Passion of the Christ. How much blood?

Yeah, it's insane. It's insane. It's probably what it's like when you're you know, just Because I think I think it is like aspirates it right like you die from suffocation right on the cross, right? Um, so yeah, I think I think's, well, maybe it's even drowning. I think maybe your lungs fill with blood. It's definitely suffocation. You definitely, you run out of air, but I don't remember how you run out of air. So I went to a Catholic school for a long time. They told us that actually Jesus died quick.

It was like God helped him die in three hours. If you keep surviving, they fucking break your legs. They just keep doing shit to you until you just die. Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, God helped him. You know what would have been great? If God helped him not get nailed to a fucking cross. And how about those nails they use? They're just square.

They just beat it through your fucking, oh, my God. And, you know, I'm thinking about Shay Oh when they made him wear the hat With the spikes right dad Jesus Christ He's fucking sick Let's talk about the bunny The fucking Easter bunny man

But the whole reason we even got on this topic Talking about Grandparents Is I saw this study as i love i used to always do uh science says segments on mail time science says this science says that's like how the fuck do they know but this study i cannot believe that this is real. Family tree stumped. Most Americans can't name all four of their grandparents. What?

A recent survey of 2,113 U.S. adults, 2,113? Including 19, 1,911 from the top 10 Nielsen markets and 202 from Salt Lake City. That's weird. We got like 1,900 real ones and then 200 weirdos. So I might skew the results a little bit because we got 200 fucking wackos.

Because the weirdos can probably name them all. Yeah, they probably have 10. They probably have like tons of them. Found that there's a massive knowledge gap when it comes to recent family history. 66% of boston residents could name all their grandparents which makes sense to me i feel like they're not like grandma grandpa we live with them you know what i mean uh but 26 percent of people in philadelphia can't name their grandparents that's crazy to me 34 percent in san francisco and dallas and chicago is only 36 are they saying like they've never met

them well that's what i mean like so like they were never in their lives it's like yeah you know i never knew my dad so you're certainly not going to know like his grandma right right his name but how about this uh oh yeah no this this this, I think. 4% of people could name all eight of their great-grandparents. What? That's crazy, Tyler. I couldn't name any. I know what their nicknames are. I know my grandma's.

Oh, no. I got one. I don't know who my... I know the women. I don't think I know the grandpas. I don't think. Well, I got two. I got two. But either way,pas. I don't think. Well, I got two. I got two.

But either way, women all eat a lot. Yeah. That's hard. But I guess, you know, this might be like a demographic and socioeconomic thing where it's like if you come from fractured families and you don't know everybody. But like I feel like if you know your family, you should know your grandparents' names. Yeah. I think that's what you know your family you should know your grandparents name yeah I think that's what it is now that we're talking about I think that's like you know like I 26% of us like didn't have a dad or you know my grandparents they let my parents immigrated and they left the parents and they died over there yeah shit like that

but I thought I thought I wasn't gonna name one grandmother but I can name all four like this is like not not like their play names these are their government names like yeah like me mom peep pop yeah you oh you don't know what did you call your grandparents mem and gramps and then and gramps mem mem and Gramps. And then Nana and Papa. I was Grandma or Gram and Pop and then I never knew my other grandma. She died early. But that

grandfather and when we referred to that grandma, weirdly enough we would say Grandpa Clancy. I would say Grandpa to his face but talking about them it would be like Grandpa Clancy. I would say Grandpa to his face, but talking about them, it'd be like Grandpa Clancy. Instead of like Grandpa Rice, we had Grandpa Clancy,

but we didn't specify his name. We only specified the one side. I just said Papa, but it was Papa Joe is what we... He's still alive. That's what we still call him. Right, Joe? Yeah.

So it's weird that we use the last name. I feel like that's very... I don't think it's that weird. Grandpa Don, but Clancy I think is a little formal. Hello, Mr. Clancy, the senior. I know someone who's, she told me their family, what am I trying to say? Friend of a friend. Their family made, their pet name like pop pop or whatever

was sir sir yeah hello sir i think he was like a military guy but he made the grandkids call him sir that's lunacy crazy right yeah that was like that guy was having like nom flashbacks and shit like throwing the kids out the window or something those kids with a belt racket big time fucking big time as the sneaker guy here at barstool sports i can tell you what pair of shoes you want to wear to look sharp to be comfortable to have new materials and the latest brands well all birds has been that for a long time now and they've also dived into the running game now they've provided a brand new running shoe that uses new lightweight materials that perform even better for every step. I'm talking about the tree Dasher two from all birds.

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We've got this Ronaldo story. I have no idea what it is. Really? See, that's what's crazy to me. If this happened in America, I think he'd be in jail, dude. I have no clue what in jail, dude. As he was walking off... I have no clue what he's talking about. As he was walking off the pitch,

this 14-year-old autistic boy was filming him, and he fucking slaps his hand, and, like, the phone crashes to the ground, breaks, and the mom sent in pictures of... It's not, like, that bad, but it's, like, red and bruised

on, like, the back of his hand, because Ronaldo just fucking whop. And he's a 14 year old autistic boy. Well, I'm going to defend Ronaldo real quick. Yeah, I was going to say. I think he hit a kid. He turned out to be autistic. He didn't hit an autistic kid.

Right. And that's but that you know what's a good rule. Don't hit any kids because then you don't have to know if they're autistic or not. Yeah. I don't think he looked if they're autistic or not. Yeah. I don't think he looked up and said, oh, that boy's got the tism. I think he was walking off the field and he was injured. So he was like – but not like bad. He's kind of like grabbing his ankle.

And this kid was filming everybody walking off the field. So as he comes up, he just sees it. Flap. And, like, you know, what's his face? Jurek? Jurek? I don't know how to say his name. He grabbed the phone the other day and just tossed it.

Oh, joking. Joking. No, no, no. It's the other one. It's the one that sounds like joking. Nocif. Yeah, yeah. Jurek or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very different to me. Like, if you want to grab someone's phone and throw it, you're still being an asshole. You're breaking their property, all that. Watch it here. It's a quick one. But like with force, he slaps a fucking boy's hand. Oh, that's the hardest slap I thought it was going to be.

That's going to fucking – that's not good, dude. That's like – you just whacked a kid. See how red my hand is there? Because I was – look at that. Look how fucking red it is. Because I was trying – I tried to do some soccer takes, and I don't know what I'm talking about with soccer, so I probably hit my hand 25 times last night,

I just kept whacking it for the sake of the video, I was like, ah, that doesn't make sense, nah, that doesn't make sense, but, can you scroll to the picture of the,

in the video, did they put the picture of the bruised hand, I don't know if we were allowed to use that or not, like, it's a red, and it looks like they took a picture on the scene. Yeah, there we go. So you can see that's bruising. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Kids are soft these days.

Get beat by an athlete. Fucking who cares? The amount of people saying that, it's crazy. Really? The amount of fans being like, they slapped a phone, get over it. It's like, well, he missed the phone and whacked his hand. And he's an eighth grade boy. You should be so lucky as to be beaten by Ronaldo as a child.

Well, that's what's going on. I mean, if you are such a diehard dick riding fan of an athlete that you can't, like, be honest about this? Yeah. To be clear, I am kidding. Right. Ronaldo should not be beating children. I will say that. Also, 14-year-old's not really a kid.

Kind of a little bit older. Should be able to hold his own, but whatever. You know what's crazy? He was autistic. If this was an 8-year-old, totally different story. 14-year-old, dude. Come on. Fight back, pussy.

Dude, I've seen a lot of 14-year-olds I wanted to hit. Rondo just fucking... He just say what everyone's thinking. He also... So he's autistic and he has a disease called dyspraxia, which basically is... That sounds familiar. Is basically like you're just a clumsy kid.

They, like, gave a fucking name for that. Dyspraxia? Dyspraxia. D-Y-S-P-R-X-I-A. Yeah, Jackie probably has it. Dyspraxia. I don't know why it sounds familiar to me, but it does. It is a developmental coordination disorder. Marked by clumsiness?

It's literally... I thought you were kind of being sarcastic. No. They gave a name to it. When you're growing I thought you were like kind of being sarcastic. No. It's literally just like, this kid's clumsy. They gave a name to it. Like when you're growing up and you're like a baby giraffe because everything's all out of whack, they just call it dyspraxia. So the mom said he's autistic and he has dyspraxia. So he hasn't really like processed what's going on.

I'm like, I don't know about all that. Symptoms include delays in sitting or walking, difficulty to jump and perform tasks such as tying your shoelaces. Yeah, you're just a spaz. Not being able to tie your shoes a bit much, but I mean, here's a... Yeah, that's Jackie. Yeah, you're Jackie. What? All the symptoms. Oh, yeah. Difficulty performing, like, regular tasks. Can you jump? Are you a jumper?

Are you a leaper? I can... Yeah, remember she jumped over that fence. Oh, that's right. Jesus Christ, Jackie. She almost broke her teeth. But I would say I have like a 50% success rate with jumping. 50% success rate with jumping. Okay. Like Jackie has a whole fucking. What the fuck that means?

Like she has a whole stat book of all her failed and successful jump attempts. You say I have a 50% success rate. I'm jumping at a 50% clip. What? What does that mean? How often are you jumping, Jacqueline? Like, a lot of times if I jump, I don't land on my feet. It's, like, the point.

Like, are you jumping onto a couch? Are you just, like, jumping and then, like, you forget to put your legs? Like, your feet, like, crumble underneath you? I'm jumping onto something, off of something, from something. All the jumping. I fucking love this girl so much. You are such a perfect addition to this stupid podcast. So if you were to be on top of this table for whatever reason,

and you hopped off, you're saying there's a good chance you would just crumble to the ground? The higher the surface, the less successful I am. As we know, girls on elevated surfaces The weak joints Is my main issue Okay so we're not talking about Falling off of something right We're talking about you have your wits about you

And you jump off of something And like your feet hit the ground I'm confused like you guys Do you guys not jump No I'm telling you like I don't jump ever I'm a pretty rare jumper myself what do you I would say I jump higher I jump more often than Kevin but definitely less at less often than the average how many times you think you jump a year like it depends like

with like this okay so like if I'm working out doing squat jumps no no no like I'm thinking like you know where I used to be able I, I used to be like, I'll climb that fence instead of walking around. I'll just jump off of it. Like things like that that I just don't ever do anymore. I, you've been to my apartment. I, you know, I have like that fucking like gate basically like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, my buddy came to visit me a couple of times. Things like that. He just jumped over it. He would just jump over it. Like I used to, I used to not. I was like, dude, you're going to die. I used to not like, like broad jump or a box jump, but I would like,

you know, do the thing where you put your hands on it and you just like hop on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just, I'm never doing any of that stuff. It sounds like Jackie over here

is like doing like parkour. She's just running around in the streets. Jackie, she's not interested. No, no, I was, he, um,

um, we got a video of you jumping and failing? Not that, at least, that's the worst part. Oh, yes, this is the video. that's the worst part. Oh, yes. This is the video.

Is this the viral video? Does it involve jumping? No, perhaps I had it already queued up. Okay. Does this somehow tie in? Because that would be, I was going to. No, but this footage isn't going to be it. Like, this isn't the whole thing, but there's more footage of me.

Oh, no, I got the whole thing. I was like throwing myself against it. No, no, no. So wait, wait, wait. So this is a viral TikTok? It's not a viral TikTok. Nick said it was viral. It came up on my TikTok, and I don't follow you. I was like throwing myself against it. No, no, no. So wait, wait, wait. So this is a viral TikTok? It's not a viral TikTok. Nick said it was viral. It came up on my TikTok and I don't follow you.

Oh, okay. That's viral. That's on your For You page. 30,000 likes. 30,000 likes? What's up? No, now it has- How many loops or whatever they call it?

Now it has 300,000 loops. Bitch, of course this is viral. What are you talking about? 307.2. She's like, am I famous? 56.1, yeah. Am I famous? But does it involve jumping somehow? No, no. This is just me being drunk, I guess.2. She's like, am I famous? 56.1, yeah. Am I famous? But does it involve jumping somehow?

No, no. This is just me being drunk, I guess. Okay. Oh, no. So, all right. Wait, you posted this yourself? I posted this myself thinking I was private, and then it started doing well, and I was like, okay, well, now it's just...

Now we just have to keep going. Now this is... You posted this drunk, or you posted it sober? What? Like, obviously, the video is apparently of you drunk Or you posted it sober What? Like obviously the video Is apparently of you drunk I posted this in the morning So you were sober

Or sober-ish Yeah Your friend filmed it And sent it to you? Yeah Okay That's how you know You really weren't embarrassed by it

You're like send that to me So I can post it Yeah Well yeah They But I didn't I probably shouldn't be posting No probably not

But you know what No one in the world Should be posting everything they post, you know? Yeah, there you go. Okay. Jackie's viral TikTok. You look shit-faced. No, I look shit-faced. Wait, wait.

Hang on. I didn't even hear that. I might have to go over there and listen. Listen, I stopped on a lot of bars on the way home. Single. Really? Alone? And they all kicked me out.

And I said, I'm meeting my friends here. And they said, no, you're not. And I said, no, I'm not. Is this a real story? Is that what you're telling us? I was so emotional. And I was like, listen, you're pretty drunk. Is that what you're telling us?

You're sober? No, no. It's all I know. Did you actually? No, what's wrong? This isn't going anywhere. Put the camera away. Okay.

Put the camera away. Put the camera away. I said, I'm not meeting my friends here. And they said, you're pretty strong. And I said, no, they're all here. And I pointed to a random group, and the group didn't look at me. I was like, no, but they're like my best friends. And they were like, they don't seem like it.

And I go. What bar was this? Why didn't you show your ID? This was a multiple wise. No, how many bars? This was three plus. Three plus? No one let you in? Were they nearby here?

No. Did you not just show your ID? What happened? Well, I showed my ID, but they were like, we get it, you aren't of age, but you're not. Oh, were you saying that? I was like, I could have been. It's one thing I'm like, sorry. But you're sober.

I'm sober. Yes. I hope he said it like that. I hope he said it like that. Yeah, me too. You just went to a couple bars on your way home and got rejected from all of them? No! Oh my god.

No! That's my favorite thing. No, yes. And they were like, listen, you seem not in it, meaning you're out of it. No wonder you were so defensive when you came back. My friends are here. What?

No wonder you were so defensive when you came back. No, exactly the same. I'm not even wrong. Yeah. What? I was just going to shiver. We would have literally been like, where is Jackie? No, I was just going to be a chill.

I was just going to chill out. You know how I do. You know how I do. Jackie? Jackie. I heard about that you had a viral TikTok And I didn't I obviously didn't think It was like some dancing

Like you know Fancy production Like TikTok But I also just didn't think It was you Blackout drunk for three minutes It's a really long thing There was one point right there

Where I think Video you And real life you right now You were like I was sober And you both were Nodding your heads I don't know how I do what was what were you yelling no yes i like that i just whenever like i do that

i just always do that when i'm drunk when they'll ask me a question i'm like no i need a clip of that for like viral purposes like me when my blah blah says no yes that is that is a drunk video yeah i mean you was it raining or were you yeah you just look like a drowned dog so i went i went like to another friend's house and i was walking home and then i just i guess i tried to like go into bars i love that you were aware enough you're like like, no, no, no, I'm of age. I'm just not with it. I remember walking up and being like, what it do? And then the bartender was like, what it do? So I asked him the next one, I go, what's up? And they were like, you're drunk.

And I was like, and then I pulled the whole, you're drunk. Oh, my God. No, you are. Wow no you are with my friends you point at random people like oh that fucking girl at all that's so funny oh but yeah i nick texted us over the weekend and said for monday jackie's got a viral tiktok don't watch it do you know how hard that is to not go watch immediately and clown you wait so it came up on your For You page? Yeah, it just popped up on my For You page. And yeah, I cringe watched a lot of it.

Shit. I specifically didn't like it because I didn't want you getting the notification that I liked it. You liked it? She's like, I was getting so many notifications. There's like 20 more minutes of footage. Like, I start breakdancing like 20 minutes. But you can't watch. I'm going to DM Grace right now.

No, no, no, no, no. You can't because it's like I'm not even like wearing pants in it. Jesus Christ. You were breakdancing naked? Oh, no. I just was wearing a t-shirt and like no pants. And you were breakdancing? I was breakdancing.

Just pussy out for the girls breakdancing? I was just sitting on the floor. I was going to say, I'm thinking of her doing that with your legs up in the air? Jesus Christ! You are a drunken madman. What would you do if you're just hanging out? Your friends seem relatively sober.

No, they were all sober. They were all sober. They were all... I was with other friends. So you came home and those ones were like, what happened? What if you're just hanging out with the fellas? Just watching a movie on a Saturday night and your other

boy comes over. Shit face, takes off his pants and starts break dancing. Dude, you're a fucking fucking dick away I'm watching a movie I'll be honest what you just described though is actually to me

some of the funniest like moments me and the homies have ever had are that are that like when everybody's drunk it's like whatever it's when like my one guy would come home from like happy hour shit face and we didn't go out. And then it's like we didn't have the phones at that point, but I did have a little – one of those flip cams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, oh, this is going to be fun.

It's very 50-50. Sometimes it's like I'm going to move out. I don't want to see you anymore. And other times it's the funniest thing in the history of the world. I mean I remember I was out, but I was really pretty much sober. And I had to drive my best friend home. Drive. We got a cab home together.

And he was leaning his head out the window as we drove by the George Washington Bridge. Being like, you're my boy, George! You're my boy! Like, shit like that that was wild and then we had a three-story walk up and the the first story was is probably like a lot of steps it's not like one of these it was like 25 steps and i watched him he was going pulling up the railing and he just stopped and went i went like timber and that I did film I remember I you filmed that

I was filming the whole thing I had him he was yelling you filmed me falling down the stairs instead of catching me I'd kill you I was ahead of him

I couldn't I couldn't do it I might as well just get the record he yelled something at a fire truck like honking its horn too oh oh they were like

and he was going honk honk and they did it again and he was he goes you're a goose years we would yell it a year ago when he was drunk like that one drunken incident probably provided us with like six inside jokes for the next decade those are amazing moments you're my boy, George. You're a ghost. So good. Yeah, you look like a drunk, drowned rat.

That was spectacular. It wasn't my bus. No, it was. It was your bus. The only thing that could have been added there is if you tried to jump on something and had a 50% fail rate. So then that's... I just started throwing myself, like, against a wall.

Oh, sure. Like, later. But, like, that is a reoccur later but like I that is a drink with this was this just all what time are we talking with all this that's really funny I thought we at least had some late night there so why don't you like show me how you were throwing yourself into the wall no no seriously I'm not like throw yourself you like show me how you were throwing yourself into the wall? No, no seriously, I'm not like throw yourself, but like show me what you mean Yeah, let's see that We should just do the breakdancing video with like a chicken emoji I mean you get it.

There was a wall and I just threw myself. Your shoulders? Face first. Face? No, I do need to see it. No, no, no. Now I do need to see it. Now we got to see it.

Let's see this video. No, I don't. No, no, no. You can't tell me you threw yourself face first into a wall and then be like, you don't need to see it. I need to see it. You know what I hear so often, and I know you hear this too,

people say, Jackie's such a good addition to the dynamic of the show i always hear the word dynamic and it's true because you're fucking ridiculous that means that you guys are ridiculous too yeah yeah no doubt you said that with such attitude like you were gotta yeah no it's like no you are like the dirt bag coming to the dirt bag show. Yeah, we know. We know. The cat's out of the bag on us.

You had a chance. I'm not a dirt bag. I'm just – wait, hold on. A little bit of dirt bag. Finish that sentence. Yeah, finish that. Whatever that sentence is. Dirty white sneakers you're wearing there. Yeah.

Those Air Force Ones have taken a beating. I've actually thought about getting her a new pair and being like, let's go viral with a new pair of sneakers, TikTok. This is great. That's what we called, like, dirtbag girls growing up. Dirty white sneakers. Yep. You knew someone was

coming in with dirty white sneakers. You're like, she's a fucking mania. Dirty white sneakers, bitch. Okay, I can't find it, but the point is I do a lot of parkour and stuff. That's what I was just saying. Yeah, you try to do parkour. So you are jumping frequently. That's when I'm jumping. That's where the jumping comes in.

And 50% of the time, your weak bones give out and you fall to the ground. Joints. Joints. Weak joints. All right, well, you know, I don't even know how we got on jumping in the first place. We don't even know where we are. Jackie just said something like, this came from Ronaldo. I got nothing.

Absolutely. This came from Ronaldo. I got nothing. I know Jackie said the sentence, I have about a 50% success rate jumping, and it derailed the whole show. No, it created the whole show. Before we do top five, I got to back up my man Gilly for his internet beef right now with Wiz Khalifa. You can't lose your 2.5 million follower account

because you were making some dick and balls jokes with another grown man. If you don't know the whole story, Wiz Khalifa has been working out a lot on Instagram and kind of changing his whole MO from just being like smoking weed to being like I smoke weed, but I'm active. And every time he works out, he puts on like tiny boxer briefs. And I think he's doing it because his dick looks huge. His dick and balls are like going down the side of his leg.

And Gilly made a video being like, bro, I love you, but I had to unfollow you. This is crazy. Every time I open up fucking Instagram, I can see your dick and balls. In that exact tone, in that exact like joking manner. And then Wiz Khalifa like joking manner and then wiz kalifa posted a picture and then deleted it saying i'm not responsible for your childhood trauma

and then made a video saying this these are the same guys that used to make fun of me for reading in high school the people who used to say i sound stupid when i sounded smart this is that's a macklemore like i used to think I was gay because I liked to draw shit. Yeah, yeah. Now, don't get me wrong. There are... What, dude? I like to draw, too. I was like,

I might be fucking gay. I mean, there for sure are people, though, like, you know, if you come from, like, the hood and you can speak well, people are like, you know, you're fucking soft or whatever. So I know what he's talking about, but it has nothing to do with gilly being like put your dick away dude so instagram deleted his account for bullying and if you lose 2.5 million followers

you lose like a business that's like you lost an enterprise that is a crazy l to take and and zuckerberg is handing it out for bullying. Oh, the workouts are crazy, right? You see his dick just busting the whole time. And he's like, and I'm certainly, I would probably be doing the same workouts if I was him. He's lifting like 10 pounders, you know? And that's what I would do. I would just never film it and put it on the internet.

That is a lot of dick. Put your dick away, bro. And now he's lost his account. Wiz, man. I did see a tweet from Wiz, though. I was looking through his social media. A few weeks ago, he had a tweet that was just like, he said, all I do is smoke weed and get business done.

It's great. I was like, that does sound awesome. That does sound pretty fucking cool. I'm pretty sure it was Wiz that he actually lived across the street from my cousin for a while. He had to move out into the neighborhoods because, I don't know, people found out where he lived. And insanely white residential neighborhood. Sure, I believe.

Wiz just throwing parties. I can see that. Three or four in the morning. That's awesome. My aunt Peg just, what's going on over there? It's just like fucking awesome before we go any further we got to get to the bottom of the latest uh barstool incident if you will a few of the boys went out on the town and we got to get the details so we're going to bring in henny easy now to tell us what

went on with him dana beers and loud sean it's brought to you by Blue Nile Mother's Day is quickly approaching top five mothers of all time uh mother Teresa uh mother uh the the mom from American Pie uh I guess my mom um your mom and uh your mother's ass the top five mothers all deserve the best gifts possible from Blue Nile and whether you're shopping for a little statement piece or just like an everyday item, Blue Nile has got you covered. I will be honest, if you're going to just get an everyday item for your mom and not a statement piece, I recommend not saying that to her. Don't be like, yeah, I just got you an everyday piece instead of a statement piece. Nah, your mom deserves it. So shop for a high quality classic. We're talking diamond earrings,

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Order it now so it arrives in time for your mother's day so get it now order it now so it arrives in time for your mother and every and a reminder every order is insured ships for free and arrives in that discreet packaging shop stress-free and find your forever peace for your mother at blue nile.com i don't know how hold on that tweet didn't have like way more action on it because i saw that like Sunday morning or whatever it was and I thought it was some sort of joke that I didn't know about throwback to the first Sean night and then just today they told me though no that was real this has 13 retweets this should be like this is some of the funniest pictures in barstool sports history so you Dana Beers and

loud Sean I'm assuming as like a going away sort of thing or just like you guys just hang out and do karaoke on the regular no we had it was going away drinks it was like a few people dana myself there's a noah uh like kelsey although they didn't some people didn't come to karaoke his you know his wife was there she was like oh my wife's gonna come so like when he was going away drinks was coming up i'm like all right i know it's loud sean but also he hasn't been in Loud Sean form in years. He also kind of got banned, suspended from being Loud Sean. It's Friday afternoon.

I'm going to bring my backpack, get a couple beers, and go home. Sure. Dana has the videos. Hopefully he'll send you the videos because they're hilarious. The only reason he wasn't getting service, but Dana was like, all right, Sean, we've got to do a beer tweet. Sean was like, all right, I Jacks and Cokes, though. And just absolutely smokes him. Like, Dana does a beer, like

Sean, like one sip, gone, maybe less than three seconds with the Jack and Coke. They do another one. Then Dana won that one. And so they're like, alright, we gotta do a third one. They both do Jack and Cokes. Like, Sean just absolutely dominates him. And he was, I mean, it was vintage loud, Sean. one last hurrah we were outside and he was screaming like he was

literally like people walking on the street were looking like walking by just like what is what is this conversation like when I tell you that the nickname exists for a reason like he's so loud and that's just sober at work. When he's revved up and drunk, it's got to be like he's got a fucking megaphone out there. No, he was on one. When he was telling me about how he left, how he was leaving,

he came out and it was so funny how he told me. It was like... I thought someone had died. Give you a big hug, yeah. He was like, do you hear the news? The news?

I was like, no, what's up? He was like, hear the news? I was like, no, what's up? He was like, leave the evening. I was like, oh, that's awful. You know what I mean. Congratulations. That sucks. Sad to see you go. All good stuff.

And then he was just like, he was just laughing in the middle of the hall over here. And I was like, I almost want to be like, dude, we should go into a room. Because people are trying to work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you are just like telling. And he always does that with the hands on the hips, too. He's just like so i mean this this this picture montage here the one of you with your head in your hand like the the infamous uh popeyes employee and him just pointing with his belly out what is in his belly

button i don't know i do it looks like there's shit in his belly button. It's probably some form of a jacking coach. I don't know if we're going to put it in the videos. I don't know what's allowed and what's not. The only reason I even tweeted that is that I woke up, so I have a video I'll show you. I can send it to you guys. It's funny.

But he threw my phone across the room at the end of it. His phone is shattered I couldn't even tweet Like on Saturday I'm trying to tweet these And I can do everything but except for the tweet part Like it's like I can only Wait can you put it in landscape and then get the tweet button out of there?

I don't think about that I don't think that works though So I had to text and I was super fucking hungover So I had to like text my laptop the pictures just to tweet them out. Did he, like, was he like, fuck you, and threw it? I'll show you the video. Mr. Brightside, like, that was the original video. Started on the couch.

Look at him, he's laying down, he comes back to life. Dana's got an even funnier one. He was like a bowling ball, rolling around, just like decking, decking into the wall. He's like a top. After that, he took my phone and just like turned around and just fucking chucked it up the wall. Dude, that is an insane move. Bro, the look in his eyes. I thought he hadn't seen the camera,

and then once he realized that he didn't want to be on camera, so once we're in all those silos. No, he was making love to the camera. No, that look in his eyes, that was a man who was unhinged. Joking on you. He said joking on your appetite. Appetite, he said. to the camera. That look in his eyes, that was a man who was unhinged. Joking on you. I think he said joking on your appetite. Appetite he did.

And then this, the move, you know, Dana's a big guy. That was right when we walked in too. That was like the beginning of the night.

And Sean is a big guy too. He looks like a little kid on Dana's back. You can't be his size and hopping on people's backs. I mean, it's like when you know those rooms,

it's like those little small square rooms. Like at one point, Dana's got the video. He just like, and hopping on people's backs. I mean, it's like when you know those rooms, it's like those little small square rooms. Like at one point, Dana's got the video. He just like, and there's people like kind of sitting up, like not on the bench, but like on the top where your back goes. And he just did one of these where he rolls around the building, like twirls and just like decking people into the wall. Like a mosh pit.

As he's like singing. Yeah. As he's singing. He did, this didn't happen. I don't know if he's going to get mad at any of this, but this didn't happen, so I feel like it's okay to say. But we took a lift from the place to the karaoke, and as we're walking in, he was like,

everything's on me, but we have to get kicked out of here. I think his wife being there, I think she saw he was out of control. I was like, we're not going to pay $10,000 for this karaoke room. Let's just leave. He turned the karaoke room into what do they call them? Disaster rooms? Wreck rooms? He was going for it.

I mean, I love the spirit. If he had let him go for another couple hours, he would have went for it. Yeah, it was one of those things where it's like, all right, we're doing it. All right. I mean, is he like sweet talk that we walked in? There wasn't a room. And he was like, we're good it. He like sweet talked and we walked in and there wasn't a room and he was like, it was vintage. As vintage allowed, Sean, you guys

were there in the Totino's house. I'll never forget him. We were in a hot tub and obviously there's like six people in a hot tub. There's really no room and he walked up and just cannonballed in the middle of it. And then it was connected to a pool and then he just rolled into the pool.

The greatest to ever do it, man. One of the greatest to ever fucking do it. I think it was PFD who had to rescue him off the pool. Yeah, no, it was face down after that in the pool. I made an animation of that before I worked here. He's told me repetitively, that's the only reason you got hired. No, that's the thing. And he was going through, like, I mean, he's loud, Sean.

Everyone knows those stories. And obviously he did, like, stop for a while. But at the pre-drinks, he was going through his greatest hits. Like, he was an intern at the Giants. He's got a guy in Vegas. He was telling us a story about how he was, like, walking across the street in Vegas, like, shit-faced. And, like, it was and it was payphone days. I mean, he's got a million stories.

He's one of a kind. When this happens, he wants it to happen? Does he go into it being like, all right, I've got to keep it cool today, and then he just has to touch Frank the Tank and he loses his mind? Or is he like, let's fucking go from the jump? I think it's like, he doesn't say it, but think he knows it because dana was like we got to do a beer tweet and john was like do what you gotta do man he's like do what you gotta do he's a beast here but like this is gonna happen yeah he's like we got it he's like yeah bro that picture

he's simply one of the greatest to ever lace him up when it comes to boozing. The funniest part is, too, is, like, he's working, like, a block away. Oh, really? Yeah. It's not like if we wanted to see Lachlan tomorrow. It's not some grand going away. That is, you know, like, he did, he was on, I think, a 12 or 18-month suspension from Dave, right?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And he is, like, a family man, so at the end of the day, he's not doing it often. But he is – he's like – he's like – who's that dude on the Rays who would bat like under 200, but he had like 40 home runs on the year? You know what I mean? He's not doing it frequently.

Carlos Pena. Dude just hits 40 bombs, but he only has like 45 hits on the season when Sean when Sean does it he does it it's a home run every fucking time it might not be as often anymore but you're never gonna get just a casual night that picture when so when you have your head is that just like they caught you in a quick moment or were you like no I gotta go no I was I was I for some reason I thought the the Popeyes lady had the – I was drunk, but that was my intention. Oh, okay. Got it, got it, got it.

I thought it was a real moment of like, oh, my God, get me the fuck out of here. No, I mean it was – And that's sweat on Sean or a drink? Both, a combination of both. Yeah, like he – again, like I don't know. It was a hilarious night. Say it, Miguel. We'll take it out of when you do. I don't know It was a hilarious night Say it We'll take it out of when you think

I don't I mean he was So we're And like We got Again I was not planning On having drinks I had my backpack

Which when you're drinking And you're planning To get fucked up That's in the back of your head Like you can't Can't go all out Because you have your backpack So in the back of my head

It's such a weird thing It is true You're 100% right But it's like I have this thing here It's gonna stop me It's just like a jacket Yeah

But like if you wake up Without your phone It's fine But if you wake up without your phone, it's fine. But if you wake up without your laptop, it's bad. We were there for two or three hours. Super drunk at this point. He's like, karaoke! It was kind of like, It wasn't even that late.

It was after work, Friday night. He comes up to me, puts his arm around my head, and was spitting in my ear. When have I ever asked you for, and everyone's like, ah. Maybe, like, comes up to me, like, puts his arm around my head and was, like, spitting in my ear. And he's like, when have I ever asked you for anything? I'm like, never. He's like, I need you to come to karaoke.

I was like, all right. So I was like, all right, yeah. Like, you can't, you know, you're calling it a favor. Like, let's go. Let's go. But again. Those are the best,

the calling of favor nights. You're like, all right, fine, fuck it. You want to do it? You never asked me for anything. You want to let the beast out? Let the beast out with it. But what is funny is. Let's fucking go. But you're going to see fuck it you wanna do it you wanna let the beast out let the beast out with it but what is funny if your last wish is karaoke let's fucking go

but you're gonna see him like tomorrow walking on the street that's what's funny he might just be like okay let's go to dinner again it's not like last wish and I'll see you never

he's like yeah do it for me now and then probably like in six months when we have like another reason to celebrate he is a hurricane

a tour de force I mean frame it dude frame it, dude. Frame it. That belly button is filled with some sort of, like, caramel or something, dude. That's fucking disgusting, bro. I don't know what that is. One of the all-time greats, Loud Sean, you will be missed.

Legend, yeah. Hang him up. We do. We were talking about, like, some type of rafters. Like, he's got to get up there. Yeah. He's above his old seat or like in the lobby or i want to we need to do like a basketball rafter of uh like 17 you know backing down the paint 17 times

and four jumpers what's that's the other thing we were talking about the the sliding doors moment like because that was kind of the end like that happened i think the family stuff got involved that's when he was like all right i, I should probably just focus on my job and not get absolutely completely tanked and say the most outlandish and crazy shit at every company event and not even at a company event, the karaoke time the first time. Yeah. The sliding doors moment of what if he actually had backed him down 17 times and hit four jumpers?

He probably would have been dead by then. He would have become a concept monster That would be the most legendary thing He would have a podcast He would have a Yeah, yeah No, that would have been That was one of the more ridiculous displays

We've ever aired First game review First two guys playing Yeah, first game review moment That was one where it was like It was It was exactly what you thought it was going to be It was like, this is going to be so great

And then it started Wait, it's just two guys who can't play basketball playing basketball games. And he took so long. That's what he said. He went too hard into warm-ups. He was doing like Hakeem dream shakes. Literally. And then the game starts.

Oh, man. It was like instant. After two points, you're checking your watch. Yeah. It was going to take like three hours. That was one of those moments where I was like, what if it never ends? What if nobody gets the 21? I think it was – I want to say it was almost like –

Remember Grudgeman Day when everyone was in the bar area watching? We streamed the radio on the TV. Yeah, and I feel like there was a similar setup for that. Yeah. Only Grudgeman Day, everyone stayed the whole time. I think everyone left before four points. Oh, yeah. That was like Never fucking mind

We are done here man What else can you say We're gonna get that jersey We're gonna hang it in the rafters All time legend Love loud Sean Just He's a hero

Like see you next week Yeah Yeah I think when Buddha Ben left Dave said something like I have a feeling We haven't seen the last of Buddha I have a feeling

Loud Sean might be In the job market again Sometime in his future Sneaky suspicion It'll be back at barstool either professionally or he'll just be like oh there's drinks going on scary going on i'll be there revitalite black label is the barstool sports revitalite flavor if you will it's blue and everybody knows that we were talking about uh performance drinks blue is the best color and the best flavor. Now, Revitalite is the best way to go ahead and try to fight your hangover. I drink some of it before I start drinking. I actually use it as my mixer while I'm drinking. Then I finish off a bottle at night. And then in the morning,

if you wake up with a hangover, you start to drink it the next day. And that's the system to keep your hangover at bay as much as possible. It's a perfect nightcap and midnight snack drink. It's a perfect early morning drink and can help you stay alive, especially as the weather turns, gets warmer. People are day drinking spring and summertime at the pool, at the beach, at the park, whatever. You know you're going to be doing a lot of drinking, so you got to be doing a lot of Revitalite.

Pick up Revitalite Black Label today in stores or online at the Barstool Sports Store. Tweet and tag us at DrinkRevitalite in the morning with your stories. All right. Today we hit the bottom of the barrel for top five ideas, so we tweeted it out mid-conversation, mid-podcast. And let me give a shout-out to the guy who we're going to use. Humble Manch.

Humble Manch. I don't know. He's from Grand Rapids, Michigan. And he said top five years. So I will go, to start things off, I will go with 1969, New York City. The Mets win the World Series. The Knicks won the title. And there was one other sports thing.

And they won like three titles in a year. That's like a pretty Pretty regular year in Boston Yeah It was like I'm glad you guys got to experience it though Yeah But I did But I did

That's the problem But New York still They'll always have 1969 I think 69 was like That happened And Everybody was fucking in the 60s You know

It was like Woodstock type time I think the city was just like one big party, fuck fest, golden era of New York. Probably when people talk about like New York, it's probably like that one year and that can never happen again. Yeah, the 90s, 90s is a rock scene. They were fucking, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think right after that, I think it was the 70s when the city was trash. I think Son of Sam was murdering everyone. The Bronx is burning, that type of thing. I think it went to hell after that. I think 1969 was like golden year where everybody wins and the city was killing it. All right, my first pick is 2024.

What happens then? I'm going to die. Now why 2024 and not 2023? I'm going to give it one more year. You're going to give it a shot? Jar. Fucking jar, dude. When you can get one of the producers to be like,

Jeez. That was belief, man. I go jeez. That was belief, man. That's what I go for. I go for gasps, not laughs. Yes, that was a gasp, man. Holy shit, dude. That was jeez. I knew as soon as you were like years, I was like, all right, I got one. That's it.

All right, John's suicide year. I'll go with 94, I think it is. I'm going to go with 1994 because you get O.J. Simpson and the Bronco, right? One of the greatest entertaining things of all time. You get the movies. Which, by the way, I don't think we ever said that. I think this is on the Chris DeSantis show too. I think that is the typical answer for if you could have Twitter around for one event,

which would it be? I think Twitter would ruin that event. I'm glad now that it wasn't around. Why? Because I think Twitter, it would be fun in the moment, but it would not live on for as long as it did. Probably, yeah. Because we just kill things so fast.

Twitter makes things interesting for an hour. It heightens the interest. And then you're like, I'm fucking, I never want to hear about this ever again. I think if Twitter is around, the white Bronco is not as big a deal at all. For the long run, yeah. In 1994, you also get The Lion King, Forrest Gump, The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, The Santa Claus.

You get Pulp Fiction. You get D2, The Mighty Ducks. Best one. You get, I mean, the list goes on and on and on. The Shawshank Redemption. 1994. I knew 94 was considered the cream of the crop for the year of movies. And I'm just looking at box office because I think like Billy Madison.

I think, i know i know jim carrey had three i think yeah dumb and dumber yeah dumb and dumber the mask and ace ventura that's i think you also get billy yeah yeah you also get billy madison uh and all of these the blockbusters are on top of it i mean it is i'm sure there are other years where you know in other generations where you're like oh all these all these came out. But I don't know. This one is a fucking hard one to beat. And then a little thing like the little Giants comes in and fucking all these other like semi, you know, whatever shows. But the cream of the fucking crop. 1994 Major League Two came out.

Richie Rich. It is. It is major angels in the outfield. Natural born killers. What the fuck? It is. How is in the Outfield, Natural Born Killers. What the fuck? How is this possible? Yeah, I mean, it's like I think there's some bullshit when people. Oh, I watched the worst movie of all time this weekend.

What was that? Moonfall. I'm not kidding you. Oh, fuck off. I wanted to see that in theaters with Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson. Yes. I'm not joking. The worst movie of all time.

No, I heard it's great. It's a role in Emmerich, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh, it's going to be awesome. And he said – I didn't know it was out. I'm going to watch it tonight.

It's available for purchase. Yeah. Yeah. I got a job. People get mad at me about that. I'm like, I don't care. It's $19 instead of like $5. I don't care.

And you know me with space and movies and shit and so usually i like anything that's even remotely like that i was like i was and if you want to say it's so bad it's good i could maybe go back if i go back with that like frame of mind maybe it'll be okay not only is it so patently ridiculous the the moon is crashing into the earth. You got to suspend disbelief right there. Yes. I'm in for a wild ride. Yes. Dude, I actually read an article about how that movie right there is one of the great victims of kind of the death of cinema.

What? Because like that. The so big movie that's like silly. That movie would be like great in a a theater with everyone having fun watching it. Yes, I can see that. But that's like moving the goalposts on what a good movie means. Yeah, but I think this is something that's very personal and near and dear to my heart. Because I get this fight with Fast and Furious.

It's not a bad movie. But that's what I mean. So what I was going to say was it's silly, but it's also bad in the sense that I was like halfway through they introduce a new character. And I'm like, wait, who the fuck is that? There's a whole half of the movie. Everything's going on in space. There's a whole half that happens down on the planet Earth with people that they didn't introduce. You don't know who they are really.

That would bother me. Like it is a poorly constructed movie on top of also being like silly and almost in my mind like too far over the top. I mean I don't want to spoil it but like the Earth – the moon is crashing into the Earth and the the idea is that we have to reverse it. And somebody, being obviously too literal, was like, there's no way you could stop the moon once it was doing that. And somebody replied to him on Twitter being like, well, what if I told you that you could get inside the moon and drive it away? It's like, yeah.

Then I started to be like, okay, this is kind of fun. But it is shocking is that sounds fun even by like disaster movie standards like just just one simple example the moon is coming closer so gravity's fucked up so at one point like um cars and houses are just being ripped up because of gravity, but the people are still just walking on the ground. Things that just make no sense. No sense. But it's also two and a half hours or something, which is crazy for those movies.

Two and a half hours. Halle Berry does nothing but bad movies. Just exclusively awful movies. No, she's the John Wick 3. Huh? John Wick 3. Yeah. We meet, yeah, John Wick 3 is an awesome movie.

I mean, yeah, but she's not doing anything That's like Good acting Like ever I think she won I think she was in Monster's Ball

Or whatever She won the Oscar Or got nominated Or whatever And then after that It's just I'm tired of getting Fucked by Billy Bob

I'll just Go do a role in Emmerich And make 40 million dollars Alright Next year for you 1993 August and everything after Just the album drop

That's it Just the album drop? That's it. Just the greatest album of all time? Strictly because of that album? Is that your favorite album of all time? I would say it's got a real shot at being my favorite. It is. There are other albums I rock out to more. There are other albums I...

There's no album I revisit as much as I revisit August and Everything After. Interesting. It's beautifully depressing. It's like, I mean, it's... I mean, you want to talk about hits? Let's see the track list on this. The track listing on August and Everything After. One, Round Here, fire.

Two, Omaha, fire. Three, Mr. Jones, fire. Four, Perfect Blue Buildings, supremely underrated. Five, And It Begins, the best song on the album. Six, Time and Time Again, fire. Seven, Rain King, fire. Eight, Sullivan Street, fire. Nine, Ghost Train,

I don't really remember that one. Ten, Rainy in Baltimore, fire. Eleven, Murder of One, fire. There it is. It is as good as it... Anna Begins is one of the greatest songs of all time Anna Begins is so and it's also when Adam Derwitz was

fucking everyone in Hollywood and also just incredibly depressed that's the sweet spot that's it right there you get that level that is where you are creating your best art is when you are knee deep in celebrity puss, but also fucking suicidal.

That's your muse. That's it right there. If you're on this podcast, I really pop off. Get me some fucking A-list gas. Goodness gracious, John. Goodness, Lord Almighty. You are a vile creature. Well, I'll go in terms of music for me.

1998. Oh, and what I was going to say earlier about movies Is um You know everyone's complaining about Marvel and And Was it Marvel movies and Something other movies They say comic book movies and some other kind of movies are like ruining Hollywood Horror? Whatever

It's all it makes Those two genres Oh Star Wars I think it's a Star Wars But whatever People complain about the Marvel movie And like I think that's bullshit Because it's like first of all

If you make a good movie People are going to go see it. It's just got to be good. But when you see a year like 1994, it's like something must be going on differently in Hollywood where people are not even trying to write that script or trying to make that movie. Or it's like, now I can understand. It's not going to really be – yeah. They're not going to make this. So I'm not going to try. Captain Marvel 2.

Exactly. Too bad Fast and Furious snatched her. Oh, yeah oh yeah oh that's right yeah yeah that's awesome that is awesome it's crazy every if you if you are not if i'm not in a fast and furious movie by the time i die i will be you're a failure fucking i think we should get john to be we need a hashtag get john to the fast and furious movies like like as a extra as a bit whatever like you deserve that you deserve that you fucking deserve that uh i'm just gonna do it anyway my next one's gonna be 2001 fast and furious i have also the patriots won the super bowl i have 1998 for music for me i guess they technically won 2002 the rap albums in 1998 are banana town it's it's just one after another you got uh outcast with the quemini oops you got outcast with the quemini you've got um uh black star you got uh moment of truth of gangstar you got big pun with capital punishment

you got dmx with both of his first two albums you got the miseducation of lauren hill you've got uh i don't know most of these yeah you're not gonna know if you're a rap fan though these are all like i always thought i didn't think i wasn't a rap fan and then until i started like not even hanging out with you but just like listening to people talk about rap i'm like oh i i thought i liked rap i guess i'd never in my life like crap yeah i that doesn't surprise me i don't think i never like got that vibe from you that like you you i mean i had like flesh my never, like, got that vibe from you that, like, you, you. I mean, I had, like, Flesh, My Flesh, Blood, My Blood. Got that for Easter.

Yeah, yeah. Tupac's Greatest Hits came out that had a couple new albums on there. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is a classic. Big Pun's album's a classic. Equemini is, like, one of the greatest, probably the greatest album of all time. Juvenile had 400 Degrees, which, like, launched everything for the South, really. Then, like, little things. Red Man and Exhibit came out with one dmx having

both those album busta rhymes had an album uh jermaine dupree fat joe like everybody in rap put something out i think jay-z had volume two it it was it was great it was good eating for a for a kid who was 13 pretending to be black i was like fucking rapping and dressing Like the most ridiculous person in the world By the way I have been in contact With uh I'm gonna try to recreate that infamous picture I'm gonna try to get the guys back together No way

Yeah but right now like one still lives here One lives in Boston And I think one he's from like the Caribbean And I think he might have gone back there But I'm not sure but I would love to try to get those guys back together that would be very very funny he also sent me over a couple other pictures I don't even know if I want to fucking show them

while you're looking those up speaking of rap and the differences in white and black people as we'll do more with Sam Jay I was at a play this weekend stop right there I was at a play with my aunt you white motherfucker.

I said earlier, nobody in the history of families does more stuff with their aunt than John Feidelberg. He's always like, I'm going to dinner with my aunt. I'm going to a show with my aunt. I got to go to a play with my aunt. It's everything with his aunt. I go to a lot of plays. I enjoy plays. But this play was called American Buffalo.

It's fucking fire. It's a great story. It stars Lawrence Fishburburne sam rockwell and darren chris um the point of all this is to one recommend it i do recommend it if you're in new york city but two at some point in the play it's a it's a very brash it's probably one of the more brash plays i've seen we're like it's like it's a radar movie yeah they there's a lot of say a lot of fuck a lot of cocksucker a lot of cunt a lot of dyke a lot of a lot of bad a lot of fuck, a lot of cocksucker A lot of cunt, a lot of dyke A lot of bad words

A lot of language At one point, Sam Rockwell Calls Lawrence Fishburne's character He doesn't call him the N-word But he says the N-word in front of him And Lawrence Fishburne's character says Go get the car, he says I'm not your N-word

I'm not your wife And I was like Sitting, three rows away from this. I've never seen in my life, I don't think, a white person call a black person the N-word. Like, I've heard white people say it, obviously. But I've never, like, seen someone say it. Say it to them, yeah. And obviously it's in character. And I've seen people do it, characters do it in movies and stuff

like that. And I was sitting there, and I was like, holy shit, dude. I was like, he's gonna beat your fucking ass. Because Lawrence Fishburne is a big man. He is fucking brolic-looking. And I was like, I was having a panic attack. I was like, holy

shit, holy shit, what the fuck? You can't fucking do that. What are you, nuts, Sam? It was crazy. Well, you should have been around, I guess, probably 1998 when I was talking. Look at some of these pictures, bro. That's the other guy in that picture, right? Now, the next one is with a guy named Poppy.

We were both wearing Sean John shirts and obscenely large sweatpants. This was just like my life. Those sweatpants are ridiculous. Huge. Huge, dude. That was Poppy. He used to wear a fucking headband with rhinestones that said Poppy on it. P-O-P-P-Y.

Yeah. Not how I would have spelled it. No. Yeah, no, it's not like poppy. It's poppy. I know it doesn't make any sense, but it's not like poppy. Pop, pop.

It's poppy. Unbelievable time in my life. You went twice. I'm going to go with, like, I'm not sure what the year was, but like the best year in the Roman Empire. I feel like that shit

must have been popping. I think there was a time where I want to say it was like Augustus was the emperor. And he had like a 200-year rule of like peace. Not him, but like Rome. Went on like a 200-year run of peace. Where I feel like they just like owned the world and everything was all gravy. They had like running water for the first time and shit. People were probably doing those weird orgies.

Greeks and Romans were mixing it up. Nobody was fighting. They were all just like fucking, butt-fucking first time and shit. People were probably doing those weird orgies. Greeks and Romans were mixing it up. Nobody was fighting. They were all just like fucking, butt fucking each other and stuff. I feel like that was probably a pretty cool time when it was like, well, we used to be like, I'm here in 17,

seven, 17 AD. That was the, that was the big 117, 117 AD. That must've been awesome. That time was great. All right.

I'm going gonna go with I guess I forget what year it was I guess it would be 33 BC 33 AD We killed Jesus That was a good year? That was a good year Yeah

Dude Yes Killing Jesus was absolutely The best thing humanity's ever done Do tell Well it's It was our salvation It was literally The best thing we've ever done Because he opened tell? It was our salvation. It was literally the best thing

we've ever done. Killing Jesus. Naturally. That's just a true story. If you want to follow the Bible, the best thing we've ever done was kill that motherfucker. I see no lies. He could have

gotten himself off the crucifix. He was like no We have to do this to save humanity We have to do this to grant eternal salvation Show these motherfuckers what's up So yeah killing Jesus was a pretty big one That was a good one You're not wrong

It sounds harsh to say it was good when we killed Jesus Do you think he knew when he was on the crucifix Yeah bro he's God But that it was going to lead to just a lot of kids getting fucked? Probably not. For some reason, I feel like... He's like, everyone who follows me closely is... We're going to be banging a lot of kids.

That guy, Peter, is questionable. You know those memes? The one with the tower meme? Yep. And if you started it like, we kill Jesus for eternal salvation. And then the last one that falls is like, tons of kids in Boston get raped. I feel like that was a little bit of a... That is a progression that I did not foresee. I think that was a little bit of a blind spot in Jesus' plan.

I don't think he saw that one coming. He was like, no, it'll be all good. Do unto others as they do unto you. Oh, wait a minute. All of my priests are... You start shuffling around priests because they can't stop fucking kids. We've asked them nicely and they just won't listen. I've explicitly asked them to stop fucking kids and they won't do it.

All right, my last one, I want to say 1945. Whenever World War II officially ended. 46, 47, 45, something like that. I was going to say 48. Right when we eradicated Japan with nuclear bombs. Yeah, we really get a free pass on that one. Oh, boy. Once we did that, once we dropped atomic nuclear bombs on citizens, on cities, just eradicating tons of Japanese people, right around then. So maybe it's a good year for America, not so much for the other parts of the world that either just got eradicated with atomic bombs or needed to rebuild their entire cities from the wrath

of Hitler. But over in America, we were like, that war is over! And everyone's making money and everyone's fucking and having babies and it was like, hell, America's the spot right now. Everybody had a car and a house like that. It was free. It was like $10,000 for a house. Here you go. And let's just

fuck a bunch of people and have a bunch of kids. America's amazing. And yeah, while the rest of the people are just dying and rebuilding. I remember I was at a World War II museum fairly recently. And I was going through a section on Pearl Harbor. And it was like, we defeated the emperor and blah, blah, blah. Do I talk about that? I guess we didn't really defeat them. We survived the attack.

We didn't really win that. No, we lost that attack. Pretty decidedly. Pretty decidedly. Yeah. And then it was just like, and then we ended the war. You want to go into a little more detail on that one? I'm in a museum.

How about you go into a little more detail? We ended the war twice. We were like, let's do it again. Just for good measure. To be fair, you probably should have retired. What's the word? Surrendered after the first one. Probably should have maybe said, okay.

It was like we put together a secret mission to get the planes. And I was like, what did the planes do? What did they do? What did they do? Did they kill hundreds of thousands of people, I think. I don't remember what the number is. Did they just melt citizens? It's crazy that they dropped atomic bombs.

It's nuts. It went up to 226,000. 226,000, yeah. That's a lot of fucking kids to kill. And the nuclear fallout and shit. We won! We're the winners. We're the good guys.

It's crazy. Winner gets to write the history books. That's what's up. It really is. It never gets brought up. It's like, he's got nuclear. He's crazy. He might use it.

We did. We did it. We did it. We already broke that seal. We did it. You know what's crazy? I think they say it's's i want to say the bombing of dresden or something like that in like uh blitzkrieg or whatever that it it was like more

damage was done by germany than the atomic bombs it was like that much of a fucking relentlessly bombing really it was just like one after another after another that said it like either killed more people or more damage or whatever or it was like Or it was maybe not more, but almost the same as one atomic bomb. They just kept on fucking shit up. World War II stunk, dude. You know what's not on my list? Any of the years in World War II. That time stinks.

The whole world was at war, John. The whole world. That is fucked, dude. Do you want to go to the movie set? I can't. We're at war, John. The whole world. That is fucked, dude. Do you want to go to the movie set? I can't. We're at war. What are you doing tonight? War.

What are you doing? War. What's your family in Italy doing? War. What's going on in England? It's gone. What about France? They surrendered a long time ago.

Fucked up, man. All right. Let us know your top five years. I mean, yeah, there's so many good ones. I feel like we could, you know, if you go all throughout history, there's a bunch of bomb-ass years. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

We missed a lot, I'm sure. There's so many good years. I don't know if I hit five. I'm going to throw on there. I'm going to get this one. I'm going to take the end of the Civil War. Was it the Gettysburg Address

that ended slavery? Not ended it, but what? The Gettysburg Address. I guess the amendment that we added. I forget what amendment it is. But the amendment we added that said owning humans, no good. That was a good one. 14th Amendment?

I wouldn't have a guess. I want That year, that was a good one. 14th Amendment? I don't know. I wouldn't have a guess. I want to say that was a pretty big one. I would say whatever year that we invented air conditioning is a really big one. Yeah, same thing. Yeah. Yeah. They both-

Flavoring, air conditioning. Both make life- What's that? 13th. 13th Amendment. All right, so let us know. Top five years. Let's get into voicemails today.

What's up, KFC fights Nick Jackie I was listening to music tonight and for whatever reason I thought of this question what would be the last song that you'd want to hear before you died for me it would be scenes from an Italian restaurant or

foreplay long time by Boston I mean I think that scenes from an Italian Restaurant Yep, fuck Really? Foreplay, A Long Time by Boston I mean, I think that Scenes from an Italian Restaurant Is simply the greatest song of all time I think it's a masterpiece of music, so I don't know that I know it I'm sure, I've heard it a million times, I'm sure It's the bottle of red, bottle of white Okay, yeah, yeah

But then it also has the fast part Right there in Nettie Where there's a city in the summer of 75 I don't know it that well I do, I do like it. Is it Billy Joel or Sinatra? Yeah, Billy Joel. Billy Joel.

But as you say Sinatra, I feel like there's maybe some Sinatra choices on there. My way. Gotta be. Yeah. But the thing is, people always play that. Like Jay-Z did a sample of that, and it's kind of like, okay, yeah, like Jay did it his way. All these other motherfuckers playing, it's like, no, you didn't. You did it like the man's way.

You did it the corporate way. You did it how your wife told you. You did it how your boss told you. Nobody does it their way. If you did do it your way, then you got to rock out with my way. I agree. But there's just so many, so few people who do do it their way. Yeah.

Yeah, there's, I just do it however someone asks me to do it. That's right. That should be the new title. You should make a remix called Somebody Else's Way. However you want it. Somebody Else's Way in parentheses, however you want it.

The... I probably do... I probably do... Probably Nicki Minajj Anaconda I have a top three I would go I would go I would go

what was the I just had a third one on my hand I'll just give you my top two then I would go oh I would my top three Milkshake Khale two then i would go um oh my top three milkshake calise uh then i would go uh

my neck my back oh akinly a uh no no that's and that's my number one put in your mouth oh really put it in your mouth my neck my back my pussy in my crack number two and milkshake be number three realistically i would probably go it's gotta be counting crows this yeah and it begins I was gonna say some fallout boy just okay so where is your boy

tonight I hope he is a gentleman that's so perfect for you dying and maybe he won't find out what I know I would do Ryan Cabrera on the way down. On the way down. Yeah, like as I'm dying. Shout out to him.

He just got married. Yeah, and sing performed. Yes, how cool is that? He married a WWE diva. It's funny because I think Alexa Bliss is probably the bigger celebrity, but I was like. I never heard of her. I know, but there's a lot of wrestling fans and shit. I was like, oh, Ryan Cabrera's wife happens to be in the game?

Okay, you know, sure, whatever. Ryan Cabrera is the stud of that, but to have NSYNC at your wedding as guests, and then they also just pop up there and do... Did you see the other bands that did it too? No. Dude, like, there was a bunch of bands there who were just like, ah, fuck it, we'll do it. I want to say, I think that Ryan Cabrera is like a prolific songwriter. Oh, really?

I think so, I might have made that up. It was like... Or maybe they all just love On the Way Down because it's just that fucking... On the way down. The... Took a dive. That part is fucking unbelievable. The...

I'm just going to find it real quick. It was at least Bowling for Soup did a set. That's what we're getting up in arms about bowling hang on a second you bet on the yellow card bowling for soup with the Kings okay so that's what in sync is clear Oh town Oh town was probably like what do you guys want us to play and they're like that only song they have to liquid dreams obviously yes which was just a song about coming in your pants I'm not gonna straight up wet dream like that was just a song about coming in your pants I'm not girl just straight up wet dream like that was it was just a song yeah just

about coming in the we come everywhere subconscious so and it was just listing the girls they would come to yeah very problematic I was I want a girl with a body like Jessica whatever oh yeah yeah the that song was hey I'm gonna pull the lyrics real quick real quick that should make me Come right now You play Liquid Dreams There's a chance I get chubbed up Two At least like halfway

Liquid Dreams 50% chance Okay Now this Hot girl She's not your Average girl Okay

I dreamed about a girl Who's a mix of Destiny's Child Just a little touch Of Madonna's wild style With Janet Jackson's Smile She's not your average girl. Okay. I dreamed about a girl who's a mix of Destiny's Child, just a little touch of Madonna's wild style, with Janet Jackson's smile, throwing a body like Jennifer's, Angelina Jolie's lips to kiss me in the dark,

underneath Cindy C's beauty mark. When it comes to the test, well, Tyra's the best, and Selma Hayek brings the rest. That's a hot chick. That's Selma Hayek. I'm going to have Trig draw that. That's Selma Hayek. Like, I'm going to have Trigg draw that. That's Selma Hayek's tits, Angelina's lips, Jennifer's ass.

I mean, that is like the Frankenstein of hot chicks that will make you cum in your pants. But the other thing is, their other one is, their other one's better. It's a slow song.

Yeah, I know. It's fucking All or Nothing. Because I want it all. Nothing at all. All right, which one are you taking? Gun to your head. Liquid Dreams or All or Nothing at all?

All or Nothing. It is the better song, but I also kind of want the cum song. Nah. I don't listen to the cum song that often. I'll probably listen to the cum song when I die. Give me Liquid Dreams by O-Town on my deathbed. Song all about cum. All right, next.

Because I want your mom. What's up, KFC? It's in honor of the played bed. I got a question for you guys. Would you rather be completely hairless everywhere? I'm talking no hair, no eyebrows no eyebrows no beard no body hair anywhere and like you know it's not even that you have to shave it it just disappears and never comes back or would you rather never be allowed to cut trim shave any of the uh okay so hairless or

unlimited hair growth yeah it's an AGI question. Yeah. It's funny, by the way, to submit like a 15-second video to put your headset on. Probably could just not wear that at all. He's probably doing something. He's probably gaming. I guess you got to talk into that maybe, but it's kind of funny. I think the answer here has to be Charlie Bill on the way of it up. You can't have unlimited hair growth. It's disgusting.

You become like an outcast. Yeah, yeah. Your hair, you're a cousin. But everywhere else doesn't grow. Everywhere else just stops. For the most part. You don't, like, you kind of just, I don't know. I guess I'm a pretty good instructor.

I mean, I don't know. I guess I do trim. Like, I break out the shit buzzer. And if I didn't do that, I don't know if it would just keep going forever. I'm always fascinated by the eyebrows. The eyebrows to me are so funny. It's like your body is like grow hair, grow hair, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow. Stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Two little things. Stop, stop, stop, stop. There's nose right in that spot. And they know like grow, grow, grow, grow. Okay, stop right there. I guess there are people who need like their eyebrows trim like there's a i get a little eyebrow trim uh when i go to the barber but it's uh never like you know fly screen always just like gives me

a little but it's not like if i didn't they would like grow down to yeah most most of my body except for my head and my face and pubes i i only have pubes right now it's a wild scene. Joe, in the mirror, it's a wild scene. Stop. I only have pubes. It's a wild scene. It's just like, I get a shout, and I'm like, oh, because I'm so fucking. Just like, nothing, nothing, nothing. I'm used to having hair, and it kind of just, like, connects.

And it's just like, Jesus Christ. God damn it. Can I tell you something else, Gross? No. I mean, of course, but. I don't know if I ate paper the other day. Dude, I swear to God. I swear to god I swear to god

I was I was just like, wait, was that paper I wasn't gonna tell this I was just like, wait, it looks like It's like I can't tell if it's that in there or not. How... How do you think you might have eaten paper? It wasn't a little bit.

It wasn't like a little... A full wrapper? It was like a little piece of paper. It was a good amount of paper. But it did look like it was in the mix. This is the second time in two weeks that you have laughed so hard about your existence you've cried. Also, for the people, I know it's hot, but put on your mom's jacket. You've got to show off this jacket. I've worn this before on the show.

Have you? Yeah. Oh, this baby is – this thing is patently ridiculous. It's fire. For this to just be a Monday at work is absolutely obscene. Obscene. Stop eating paper. I don't know.

It could have just been a joke, but it was pretty in the mix, like I said. Next voicemail. Last voicemail. Let's go. What's going on, guys? First time, long time. Got a bit of an am I the asshole situation for you here. So am I an asshole if I leave my friend's wedding?

So before I go any further, like, let me preface this. Like, I like them very much. They're pretty religious. So to them, this is like a super big deal. So with that comes like wedding party, bachelor party, like wedding shower. I have to rent the tux. The whole nine, right? Which totally fine with,

we'll be part of really looking forward to it. So I guess the problem is I live in Chicago and they wanted to do a summertime wedding. And lo and behold, of course, the fucking date is June 18th. And I've been listening to you guys for God knows how long. And I've been itching for you guys to come to Chicago and do a live show. So my question to you is, am I an asshole for leaving my friend's wedding reception that goes from 6 p.m to midnight to come to your live show completely decked out in a fucking tux and kind of

party with you guys for a little bit and then go back and then pretend like nothing ever happened so hell let me know i do i was gonna say you're an asshole I thought it was in a different Part I was gonna be like Skipping the show for us Probably is kind of an asshole Bro If you come to our party You come to our show

In your tux And everything We'll put you on stage We'll have a time with you We'll send you right back We'll get you in and out Fucking 20 minutes dude You'll have

You'll have the 20 minutes You want You know You don't have to come party all night Just do that And get right back to your show. Legendary. That would be.

We've also got a girl, I think, skipping her medical graduation, her med school graduation or something. Yeah, it was some kind of physician. Yeah, we're going to throw a party for her. Therapist maybe, something like that. Yeah, we'll throw a party for her as well. Yeah, and this one's where? This is Chicago.

Chicago. Chicago, bro, you got to do it. Coming in tux and and this one's where? This is Chicago. Chicago. Chicago, bro. You got to do it. This, yeah. I'm in the tux and everything. That's a done deal. It's happened. It's happened.

You're doing it. You're coming to the show. Not an asshole move at all. That's a cool move. My friend did that. He was like, yo, I got this musician, this podcast. I really like it. I'm going to pop up for a minute.

I'm like, fucking go, man. Go ahead, do it. I won't notice. You don't see everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason why I wasn't quite paying attention there as it happened, I'm going to pop up for a minute. Go ahead, do it. You don't see everybody. The reason why I wasn't quite paying attention there as it happened, Britney Spears knocked up. Britney Spears prego. I don't think we needed to rush into that one.

I'm going to say one of my greatest calls of all time was keep that in a conservatorship. I know. She is going to go hard, bro. She's going to go hard. But you know what? Actually, probably on a sad note, though, it probably is like I wanted to have a kid and I wasn't probably allowed to, and now I'm like 40 and I got to try before. She has a couple of kids, right? Yeah, that's true.

Never mind. She's got a whole load of them, actually. Yeah. Stampede of elephants. She's from Louisiana. Yeah, but she hasn't done it with this new guy. Yeah. Wow.

Good for you, Britt. We do like to pass on our genes. Shut up. We got Kevin Feblin's. We're all set. All right. Interview time. We got Sam Jay and Jay Knight, two very funny comics with a very funny new show, Bust Down.

And they're just clowning white people. Let's go. Let's talk to them. All right. right let's get into our interview to wrap things up here we've got sam jay and jack knight two very funny comics uh with a brand new show called bust down it's brought to you by game time baseball is back and the only way to get the best cheapest last minute tickets is with the GameTime app. This is so up KFC Radio's alley. You're sitting at the bar. You've had a few drinks.

You're talking to your friends. Next thing you know, you're like, you want to pop out to Citi Field and watch the Mets play? And it's like, yeah, fuck it. Why not? There's no parents. There's nobody telling us no. Well, then you hop on the GameTime app where they have top-notch tickets. I'm talking like behind home plate.

We're talking first row, maybe out in the outfield catching homers, and you're going to get it at the best price possible because they have the last minute tickets where people put them on sale. They know they're not going to get anything for this ticket as the game begins. So they drop it as low as it needs to go. So you know you're getting the cheapest tickets on the market. I'll be doing it all summer long using the game time app to make sure I get out there to Queens to watch the Mets. You should do the same for your team, for all different sports. Download the game time app, go to the account tab and create a login and then redeem code KFC for twenty dollars off your first purchase. Terms apply. Download game time.

Last minute tickets. Lowest price guaranteed. About you now. I'm seeing a Wonderwall. purchase terms apply download game time last minute tickets lowest price guaranteed that is like the greatest thing y'all did that's that's that's at the top of the list we're white guys yeah i can't yeah what would you put on everybody what would you put on the list? The top five things that good things that white people do. Or even better, like you said, that crosses over. Did black people make Philly cheesesteak?

Are you just going to give white people Philly cheesesteak? Yeah, that's... I don't know. That's pretty quick. I need a little more investigation before we take that. I wouldn't just hand that over to the white people. Well, help me with the list. I got Wonderwall. Nick, you sit here judging. Take shit off the list. I mean, look at the outfit. You gotta give us hockey.

Hockey's not bad. But I think that's like Alaskans. Also, too, same thing with hockey and soccer. If you guys ever just decide you want to do that, you're taking it over. It's just that you guys haven't done it yet. Mixing fruit with cheese. Okay. you want to do that you're taking it over it's just that you guys haven't done it yet mixing fruit with cheese okay yeah

alright that was like genius that was like a genius see I mean like when you you asked the other way

it's so easy like music dancing slang fashion I could rattle them off the fact that you guys are struggling to come up

with fucking two is insane we suck man nah I like I like how fast my packages get to be I could rattle them off. The fact that you guys are struggling to come up with fucking two is insane. We suck, man. I like how fast my packages get to be. That's good. That's a good one. That's a good one. Like, I'll be open to the door.

I'm like, white man, did it again. So a couple convenient things and fucking and Oasis. But Oasis is like They don't even like each other. That's up there with like peanut butter for the year. That's a huge deal.

That's an incredible song. That's a big one. That's an incredible fucking song. It's a cute game. Yeah. All right. we were just discussing the show which I love

like six episodes bang it out very funny like easy to consume it's it's very funny shit and we saw you

for the first time or the first time we really got like introduced was at the 9-11 oh yeah yeah yeah at the garden and I was like

Pete and John's thing. That was obviously a fucking murderer's row of comics and I thought you had the best set of the night. You murdered that shit. I was like, got that girl. Right away.

It was especially funny because it was comedy but it was still a charity event and there was probably families and all this shit you let it rip girl that was unbelievable there was no holding back on that one that was great um so what's the connection here like how did you guys get down together and and how'd the show come about and everything yeah uh I could do the first question me and Sam met at, it wasn't Bridgetown,

was it Bridgetown? It was Bridgetown Comedy Festival. I was like a young idiot and she was sitting there with her wife trying to, her older situation. Yeah. Hey man.

I gotta clean that up. Let me go ahead and clean that up. She was sitting with a lady and I walked up and it was like, She was sitting with a lady. And I walked up, and it was in Portland, Oregon. Everybody was white, but not no-stuff white like y'all. It was pure, annoying, musty white.

And I'm from Seattle, so I know those whites. I'm happy we got that. On the other side, all right. At least we can talk about Kyrie with y'all. You know the whites were like, I don't got nothing to come with you. So Sam was one of the other black comedians in the festival and I was like,

I'm going to hang out with her. And then we went to daytime strip clubs and hung out the entire festival. That's how you know you're good friends

with someone. If you can do daytime strip clubs with someone and it's all good. Daytime strip club is way better than nighttime strip club.

Absolutely. Nighttime strip club is too many people there. It's not fun. Daytime strip club, you get the nighttime strip club. Absolutely. Nighttime strip club, there's too many people there. It's not fun. Daytime strip club, you get the attention. You also get the B squad. It's brunch for scumbags. And it was eventful because there were some strippers from another city,

but they were clearly more advanced than the Portland bitches. They were like, yeah, we're coming to take this bitch over. Then they got in an argument with the Portland girls and then the Portland girls kicked them out but we was like we like them better so we was like

where y'all going they was like we going to this other strip club so we followed them it's like walking down the street together a little caravan

it's like Ali in Africa Ali Dumbaye Ali Dumbaye and she's big booty bitches we're like's going to take us to the promised land. There's some sort of bonding that can go on with the people in the strip club,

the strippers in the strip club. Everybody's in it for money and a good time. Do you get lap dances a lot? No. Either of you? I go in there and I make them sit down and I just tell them about my day.

Yeah. Dude, I'm like, I'm like, so like, they've kicked me out of strip clubs for not doing it correctly. Bro,

bro, you're strip clubbing wrong, dude. Yeah. You're not good for business. I've said before that like, when I, when I get lap dances,

I'm usually so drunk that like, I fucking don't want them feeling my fucking drunk dick. So I like pick my pants really tight so there's a wall right here so they can't really get to it. What a system. Or you could just ask her to stop. Or not go. You guys do not know my boy here.

That's not on the table. He's going to create a pants wall. my boy you guys do not know my boy here that's not on the table he's gonna create it like no no the pants wall's coming out before he's ever gonna just say no thank you he's throwing a money up against my fucking j crew jeans damn sometimes it's funny i'm so used to this shit and then when someone new is it it's just like

yeah we're fucking we're not normal it's just not fucking normal well that's the problem with like pandemic we all like only talk to our friends

and so we just kind of built on our neuroses and like our weird shit and then we went back into the world and they're like yeah I be building walls with my jeans

against bitches and we're like no sir no sir you too right man no no no absolutely not that's in the house talk I'd be building walls with my jeans against bitches. And they'd be like, no, sir. No, sir. You too, right, man? No, no, no. Absolutely not. That's in-the-house talk.

I only do in-house talk on this show. I always think, I never process that there are people listening to it. Y'all need a window. If you saw the city street, you'd be like, nah. For real, you come in here and I don't know the door closes the mics go on

we start saying shit I'm like oh no oh no what have I said to too many people I was saying before before you guys got in here

that we were talking about Bust Down and I was like I was like I like I really relate to Jack like I was like

he's like when I was talking about this scene where you're trying to put on Tina. Oh, Nina. Nina, Nina, Nina. Her heels.

Nina's heels. And I was like, that's some shit I do. Absolutely some shit. Well, yeah, I think we always called it like Power Rangers because everybody

like represents a different type of weirdo. Yeah. Yeah. Every time someone's like, I like Jack, I always go like, why? Yeah. Every time someone's like, I like Jack, I always go like, why?

Dude, Jack's the best, man. I'm speaking for serial killers. Maniacs. You ever see Californication? Of course. This was a couple years ago. We had David Duchovny, and I almost think of him as Hank Moody, not an actor, you know what I mean?

And I remember saying to him, I was like, in a lot of ways, I kind of can relate and identify with Hank Moody, and he was like, that's not good. And I was like, oh, fuck, you're right. I guess that's not a good thing, man. He's like, yeah, that's a despicable character. Don't be like him, man. Even when we were talking about the episode,

I mean, when you were explaining that the person was molested, we've done that to him a million times, man. He's been molested like five, six times. And he tells the story and it's like, I'm like, are you hearing yourself? Not to the point Chris was. It's like a fucking handsy

babysitter and shit like that. Not good, bro. I'm gonna go ahead and get him out of here. Not good, bro. I'm going to go ahead and get him out of here. Not good, bro. It's still molestation. I didn't get my dick sucked. I just got jerked off. Rug rats is on.

It was teen rug rats when they had cars. She just made me watch porn and rubbed me. Yeah. No. There was an old man He used to come out of the woods And ask me to play baseball And play catch with him

Come out of the woods Ring the doorbell Can John come play catch He was a grown man Did y'all live in the woods What the fuck is going on Damn bro Weird shit right bro his father got home and was like what the fuck is going on oh man damn bro

some weird shit right you want me to hug you dog I don't think we need any more touching

no more touching for anybody you can build a gene wall on your ass now we know the root of the gene wall

I couldn't build it when I was six. Yeah, now you're creating those boundaries. You were wearing sweatpants when you were a kid. You couldn't do it. You couldn't get the wall up. Build that wall.

Yeah, but keep the Mexicans out. Oh, man. Oh, man. No, but we were talking about the show. I mean, it's unbelievable. Thank you, man. I really enjoyed watching it. It's Bust Down. Thank you, man. I really enjoyed watching it. It's Bust Down.

It's on Peacock. I really enjoyed watching it. And then, like, thinking back on watching it, it's one of those things. Yeah, recapping is even funnier. It almost reminded me of, like, the old school, like, Will Ferrell movies where, like, you laugh watching it, and then you, like, start telling the stories with your friends, and you're fucking dying laughing. Quoting it.

And then, like, it reminded me a lot of our show because you guys are doing things like, what was one of the things you talked about telling the stories with your friends and you're fucking dying laughing quoting it and then like it was Everybody a lot of our show because you guys are doing things like like what was what was one of these are on the breakroom Like what celebrities got the was it deep what was it? That is our show to it we've been doing stupid hypotheticals for Best celebrity who wasn't who had Emma Watson Emma Watson Watson's a good one That was Langston Kermit That was Langston But all of those were our real answers

Yeah yeah Alright so then wait let's flip it since you guys already answered the good ones Who do you think the worst is? Oh the worst doo doo? Flavor Flav doo doo

probably crazy I would say right now just looking at the lifestyle that the motherfucker living I would say Antonio Brown doo doo now Just looking at the lifestyle That the motherfucker living I would say Antonio Brown Dude That nigga body Is not right

No No balance in that No it's just I don't know why You could have a Lego In that goddamn poop Damn The very first thing

That popped in my head I don't even know why Was Madonna Madonna Just an old You don't think she has good do Madonna. Just an old, weird woman. I just don't think she eats nothing. I feel like she just drinks stuff.

Yeah, probably weird. Yeah, but also, isn't that what's going to make it gross? You're just eating weird fucking juices. I can't even imagine Madonna pooping. I just think she's a weird old crinkly woman I don't want anything coming out of her body I feel like old woman shit

is actually kind of low key the worst I would think it's the least active like I think about my grandma she's like 93 right now she don't do shit but lay down

so I imagine like even in the doo doo there's really not a lot going on in the doo doo you feel me a young person's doo doo they're active they gotta clean it

in the world they're doing a lot. They're doing bad things to their body. You gotta taste it and shit. I think MGK. MGK is fucking... Machine Gun Kelly's gross.

That dude. But he has money and he has people that take care of him and nutritionists. And he's like, masked and healthy. But he's weird as hell.

He's like drinking blood on a video to be funny. He's like, Megan, open a vein. Let me get some real quick. This is to me the prime example of how you got to rate this shit. Like, I know, like, for a fact, Craig Roberts' dude was fucked up. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. I know. I know. We got him in next week. I'm going to tell him that. Shit's fucked up. Make sure that nigga stands. I know he's living crazy.

Look at that dookie booty nigga stand. The Pizza Hut commercials. This is what I think he's doing in life Look at that dookie booty. The Pizza Hut commercials. This is what I think he's doing in life. You know what I mean? Yeah, Craig is up there for sure. You got some weird people. I mean, you probably do have to pick a very, I mean, the fatter you are, the fatter your shits are, right? That's just simple.

But Skinny, like, I'm not touching that peat poop. No. Well, peat's the same as MGK. They're the same. That's the same person. Those are the same white guys. Come on. Yeah, but, like, to me, MGK is, like, I don't know.

He feels like he's a little bit more in control of the narrative he's trying to do, and Pete just feels like a silly nigga falling downstairs. And so I know I'm the same thing, so I know my poop is not very edible. Yeah, I wouldn't eat your poop. You wouldn't know when she eat my poop. No, I wouldn't. I don't have good poop. Skinny or not, she eat my poop. No, I wouldn't. I don't have good poop. Skinny or not, I don't think.

I eat my vitamins, though. What vitamins do you take? Maca is this root from Argentina that makes me horny all day. I don't know that that's a vitamin. Gas station pills, bro. Vitamin A and the whole foods and recommendations but I do yeah

you just like sought out a fucking horny vitamin you're like I need more I was just like yeah

I enjoy being horny all day and so someone told me that this this pill is my Zach

Zach Fox told me to take this pill where you basically like if you take it enough your cum comes out thicker and stronger oh okay now I get what you're saying you want big loads bro I want dog I want a dump Zach Fox told me to take this pill where you basically, like, if you take it enough, your cum comes out thicker and stronger. Oh, okay.

Now I get what you're saying. You want big loads, bro. I want, dog, I want to dump. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm with you on that. We've had this discussion before. I've been having light cums recently.

I was like, this is unacceptable. It's the worst. I feel like it's a letdown. Yeah, bro. Oh, this is not what I want for. All right, I'm going to just back up. Let this happen. But, you know, we're like. That's another one of our questions I think we have

like would you rather like every time you come you're you know you're blasting off or you have like no cum and all these guys are always like oh I'll take no cum

because it's like easy and no clean up no blast off dude no I want a fire hose I need to see I need to see something

it's like it's like I don't sign a contract without reading it I need like a physical That was Jack You lost me on the contract bro I was with you

But now You go do your weird Come contract You got it Yeah I got it I ejaculated on contract That was a simple read You don't wish you had like a little,

a little like, you know, something fell out? Of course, but it's not gonna, so I move on with life. No, but I mean, move on with life. It's gotta be nice that, you know, I do understand the other side of it for you guys.

You come and that's it. It just feels good. There's no fucking nothing. It's convenient. I mean, no, but it's different. There's stuff. Yeah. I mean, there is.

Yes. But it's not like this shit. But like when you like, you know, you know what I'm saying? When you're doing it. I'm the man lady. You know what I'm saying? So I'm out here. I'm pounding.

When you're pounding, you want something to pow. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You do. Absolutely. You know what I'm saying You do Absolutely You do Alright you got it Yeah Yeah you understand

It's like a run on Sentence after a while Yeah It's like It's like A run on Where They running

And you got Cause they coming But you just like Alright And you just comma Comma Semi colons and shit Semi colons Parathesis is in I'm in a bun. He's just like, I'm right there. He just comma, comma. Semi-colons and shit.

Parentheses is in. Tell me how the show comes together. How does that work? Oh, yeah. How does the show come together? Well, Chris Redd. Chris Redd. At the time was the only one of us making money. He had just done Popstar, and he was making money,

and we were all broke but happy to be alive. And he came to us, and he was working with Sandberg's production company, and he was like, yo, y'all want to do something together? They asked me if I got some friends, and I got some. Do y'all want to do something? He was like, yeah, we'll do something if you get something. But we never really believe in Chris. We're bad friends.

So Chris will come to us with something, and we'll be like, yeah. To be do something if you get something. But we never really believe in Chris. We're bad friends. So Chris will come to us with something. We'll be like, yeah, Chris. Chris comes with a lot of things all the time. You got to protect your own emotional. Yeah. Chris, whatever. Nigga, I got a giraffe.

Bro, we've talked about that. Growing up is realizing you shouldn't believe in anyone. Everyone's an idiot. You go to a lawyer and you're like, I have friends who are lawyers. They're fucking dumb ass. Why would I believe you? You think people are successful or smart? You learn all teachers are just drunk sluts. Well, no, I'm not going to agree.

But sure. I don't know that. That sounded very personal. That was just the one in my life. That was just like, she walks in, I'm like, oh, it's her. Yeah, by the way he looks. Yeah, that must be the person. But yeah, so Chris basically came to us and he was like, hey, I have this project.

It's this show. I forget what it was in, what, the UK? I don't know where that's from. It was from Sweden. Sweden. And he was like, it's about four friends who make a pact to not fuck for a year, and they're wondering if we want to fuck with it, and

then we watched it, and we were like, this is dumb, but how do we make this something we care about? And so we just kept pounding away at it and trying to find a way to make it us and make it our voice, and it lived in a lot of places, from Hulu's to Netflix's to Hulu's again to Comedy Central's

and with every place we just kept getting stronger in what we were doing individually and we were able to just bring back more perspective to the project and,

you know, we always kept it in our sphere, you know, as we were getting other things we always would kind of be like, yeah,

but Bust Down is the thing we really want to do because I think we all four just truly believed in how funny we were together. How long are we talking when it goes? Five, six years. That's why. Dude, I mean, if we don't get something done in like five days here,

it's like, yeah, that was a good idea, but fuck it. Five years? Yeah. It's a lifetime ago. We worked the same way. It was just like, it wasn't our choice. Yeah. It's a lifetime ago. We worked the same way. It was just like, it wasn't our choice. Yeah. Right, right, right.

I feel like that's something I didn't know about the industry. I feel like when you think you get a pilot or if a network signs on, you're like, oh, that's it. It's like, no, there's still like a thousand steps before it ever even makes it to air. And then maybe even it makes it to air, there's no guarantees. Dude, we had Wahlberg in here like a month ago or something like that. I'd eat his poop. Oh, yeah.

That would probably be like nutritious. That's what I'm saying. It's good for you. His poop is better than the shit that I eat. The food that I eat is worse than Mark Wahlberg's shit. He was talking about his new movie where he plays like the older guy, and when he first signed on, he was playing the younger guy, and then they were like, Uncharted is actually a go And when he first signed on, he was playing the younger guy. And then they were like,

Uncharted's actually a go now. Tom Holland signed on. And he's like, what's Tom Holland going to do? He's playing who you were supposed to play. That's how much time has passed. That's wild. The old guy was supposed to be like De Niro.

You're doing De Niro's character now. Yeah, that's wild. That's how it is, though. That's how it is. Yeah. So yeah, that was it. And then it just, you know it Eventually we had the voice of it And we understood ourselves enough to put the voice in it

And Peacock came along And was like we'll make this thing And we were like finally And just shot to shot I feel like doing shit with friends Is The best It's the best to do it just personally.

But if you have a crew of your own friends that are funny and you live, like watching that is going to be the best type of comedy. You know what I mean? You can have the best actors, the best writers, but if they don't know each other and you just slam it together, sure, you have a good movie, you have a good show, whatever. That's how most of everything we watch is. But when you can tell that everybody's friends, it's next level.

Yeah, it's that chemistry. Is there a lot of, like, improv? Or are you guys, like, mostly Chris does a lot of improv. Chris does a lot of improv and we get a lot of annoyed. I was going to say, that feels, one person doing improv is usually, five people doing improv would be cool. One person. As the motherfucker sitting in the editing bay the whole time and being like, this nigga

won't, we have to go to the next scene. That's not improv that's being annoying. It's one dude, you're just an asshole. The one thing I will say is like, we're all super competitive about being funny. And so I think the show is as funny as it is because it's like, Sam was like, nah, I'm about to be funnier than Langston in this scene.

And Langston's like, I'm trying to be funnier than Chris. And I'm trying to be funnier than Freddie. And then Freddie came through and he's like, I don't give a fuck about nothing. I'm a vice lord. How did Freddie get in? We needed someone to be in the show, and we needed someone to be from Gary, because it kind of felt shitty to just kind of make the worst city in America

a place that none of us are actually from. And so we needed someone from actually Gary, Indiana. And I knew him through Lambo and Zach and Earl and all them guys. And I did a show with him. No, you weren't on the show. I wasn't. It was me and Zach on the show. And then he was drunk.

And he was like, yo, I hate this rap shit. I'm trying to become an actor. I want to be Denzel. And I was like, well. Here's how it starts. We have this show at Peacock called Bustin'. And he goes, talk to my white man And I walked over to his white man

And his name is Lambo And I was like, this is the stuff He was like, I'll handle it First day he came on the set He's the funniest person in the world First day he came He wanted a jerry curl or a mohawk? What was the problem?

Oh, before he even got to set Yeah, he said he demanded something He said he wanted to change his wig every day Yeah He wanted a different hairstyle every scene He said he wanted to change his wig every day. He wanted a different hairstyle every scene. And like our group, Sam was like, mm-mm. And Chris was like, I can see it.

And Lexi was like, this is not going to happen. And I was like, let me just go talk to him. I understand weird. And he was like, well, I need something. So he gave him a cigarette. And if you noticed the whole show, he never lights his cigarette. That was all Freddie. That was all Freddie. That's a nice little title. He's like, what if I just never

light the motherfucker? He started that always looking for a lighter but never finding it. I don't think I noticed it until now you're saying it. It's a Freddie Gibbs choice. After Chris leads the protest, I remember he's like, does anyone have a lighter but never finding it that was I don't think I noticed it until now you're saying it's a Freddie Gibbs choice after Chris leads like the protest I remember he's like

does anyone have a lighter and the very last scene of the show he lights the cigarette and I'm like you're a genius that is cool he was fantastic

I didn't know what to expect he was really really good his first on camera thing was when he flicked a cigarette at Langston

and called him what did he some type of bitch some type of bitch flicked a cigarette at Langston and called him what did he some type of bitch some type of bitch but he didn't know Langston he didn't really know any of us that well he probably only knew

me in the room and the first scene he did was he fucking flicked a cigarette at one of the lead actors called him a bitch and walked out the room

I was like that's the guy that's the fucking guy hey you mentioned Zach, too. I think he wrote one of the episodes. He wrote the one about fucking homeless people. Yes, dude. We were talking about that earlier.

You're problematic for not fucking the homeless person. Don't deserve clean balls? Dude, that fucking episode is unbelievable. How do you know Zach? I think Zach is so goddamn fucking funny. Through Crenshaw Brunson, ago we did a show and like people always say we acted alike and I was like I don't act like that stupid ass that's that's like telling somebody you look like a celebrity yeah one way or the

other anyone be like you don't have your own kind of thing going on and then we met and I was like, all right, we're exactly the same. That's not a bad thing, though. That's a funny fucking guy. I would take that for sure. How much does a fucking homeless person for you? Money? Yeah.

Like she's paying me, or I'm paying her? Well, I mean, whatever you want, bro. Whatever you want. Because I'm looking at some of the homeless people out here I'm not doing it for free I'll tell you that much maybe you're just not finding the right homeless person

I guess that's true I think you're also not finding the right homeless person I mean I'm not looking I'm not trying to be involved with it all I'm not looking

you know what I mean but I don't think I charge I think that's they're homeless well I guess that's yeah or is there like

a person above it all like playing a game a game, like, and he's paying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a rich donor? It's a short game, Shane. I don't want to, yes. It's a fucking genius. There's like a rich donor guy. Yeah, I'm not going to be like, yo, here's my Venmo, homeless man.

And he's like, all right, get off on this. I'll give you whatever amount. I'm not trying to make life harder for them financially, but I'm also not trying to fuck them for free. Yeah, but like, and this is going to sound bad, but most women I fuck are homeless. Okay. In what sense? Well then.

In what sense of like they're, you know. Broke bitches who just don't have a spot to live. But they're not like street dwellers. But I don't know. That's a difference. But I do think like, okay, if you're a broke bitch with no place to live and you're like a Brooklynite bitch who don't really believe

in showers, how far are we from it? Well, now, yeah, what you're describing is pretty much an actual homeless person.

and you are the thing we're talking about. Yeah. Hang out on a bench for five minutes, you become homeless. I hooked up with a girl in college.

I went to college in Vermont and she was very much a Vermont girl. The old crunchy girl. Yeah, she was like mad at me that I showered too often and like I didn't, I showered, I don't't know i'm not sending any records for how often i shower

if your name ain't on a lease you're a homeless bitch yeah you are void of home well it's like kanye was was trying to be homeless that was his whole goal get so rich that you're homeless that that flips the whole fucking script when he said it it was a few months ago I think it was on drink chips maybe but he owns like nine oh yeah his I think it was on drink champs he said it he was basically saying he wants to be so rich his story was that he went to like Paris and like all of the top designers and everyone were like, you can stay with me, you can stay with me, you can stay with me.

And he was like, that's what I want, is that I don't even need a home because everywhere I go, I have the top people. And I was like, oh, shit. You almost get so rich it comes back around. Well, that sounds like friends. He was just saying he wants to build such a network. He can just kind of move freely.

But also, my friends, I'm scratching my eyes. You're describing friends. But I guess it's when you have friends who have dope places to live. You need friends with spare rooms. I don't want to caress on a couch. I want to have your 10th bedroom that has a fireplace and a bathroom and shit. Yeah, basically have rich friends. And that's not anything new.

That's pretty easy for Kanye West. I feel like it would be hard for Kanye to have poor friends. And that's not anything new. That's been a good... That's pretty easy for Kanye West. I feel like it would be hard for Kanye to have poor friends. Yeah, he has to like actually go out and find a poor person. Or just around him.

And also his poor friends are probably fucking wealthy as shit. By comparative. You know what I mean? Like, poor to him is way better than us. Kanye can crash with me

if he wants. That's an open invite. But I'm sure he has like broke producers hanging around or like little art niggas that don't have their money

and bread together yet that are like around hanging on. But I feel like he will like make them like get bread. Like he'll be like

here's a position to get bread because I don't want it. I don't want to get broke around me. Yeah I don't want to get broke around me. Smelling.

It will rub off on my brand. Yeah. I feel it. I feel it. All right. You want to go next door? We're going to do our show,

Answer the Internet, which is all the stupid hypotheticals we've come up with over the years. Sounds good. So, anything else you want to plug besides the show? Tell the people where to find it.

It's on Peacock. It's the show, Bust Down. Yeah, watch Bust Down. On Peacock, all six episodes are available. Nah.

Hold on. We got pause coming out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, podcast, comedy We got Paws coming out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, podcast, copy dates, any of that stuff. I'm in New York for the fucking show.

We also work on another show together called Paws with Sam Jay. It's a late night show on HBO and it'll be out like the end of May. Friday's at 11 o'clock

after Bill Maher. Awesome. Perfect. Appreciate it. All right, let's do it. Thank you. Thank you.