KFC Radio - Homeless Chic, End Summer Forever, and Yannis Pappas

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

The summer is over and nobody is sad to see it go. Binge watching Breaking Bad to prep for the new movie. Getting Pre-Sick. John's walk to work and the surprise fashion statement. The hot delivery guy. Willie Colon's gender reveal. Mindhunter season 2 review. Voicemails include: fly or invisible, sleep in blood, gametime outfits, and baby talk. Yannis Pappas latest special produced by Andrew Schulz, passing out on stage, snoring, and getting dumped by girls from Girl Code You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by CB Distillery. I'm an old, washed-up man. That means I've got stress and pain and anxiety, and I'm always nervous and achy, because life is just catching up with you, and so you need a little something to take the edge off. You need a little something to help you sleep at night, to help you function at work, to help take away the pain when your back is killing you, whatever it may be. So go to CBDistillery.com and you can start using the CBD to cure all those problems, use it as a remedy for all the stressors in your life.

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Yeah, I got my tinctures going. This was a great weekend to do a little CBD Do a little tincture action Summer is over The fall is officially here Me and Feist are smiling ear to ear. You can watch us on Barstool Gold right now. Barstoolgold.com slash KFC. Two very happy campers because fuck summer.

The summer is officially fucking over. Thank God. Goodbye. Peace out. Fuck you, summer. I hope you never come back. I hope summer never comes again. I hope we've reached the point where climate change has fully changed all the seasons and summer doesn't even exist anymore

summer's like your little cousin that you didn't even like fuck your parents hunt out together yeah you're older now yeah i don't even like you yeah let's not let's not do this perfect description because you know what you did with your cousin that cousin you played in the pool right and you played sports you went to like the amusement park maybe you did all the summertime things with them that shit was great when you're eight years old nine years old now you're an adult and you're like i don't even fucking i don't even remember your name there's no need for us to spend time bother me right you just ruin the mood you make me uncomfortable as you're an adult the summer becomes like that cousin inviting you to his wedding it's like dude we're not like that no you know what that cousin is gonna be an annoying thing for me to have to deal with no shot am i coming that that

cousin is the same cousin uh you get nothing but happy birthday texts it's like happy birthday dude happy birthday cuz happy birthday dude happy birthday cuz for like two straight years it's like listen we don't even need to hang out anymore it's just not like it once used to be there's nothing worse in life than trying to recapture old fun you can't do it when you try to recapture a party or a vacation or a moment or you start you go to an old bar and you're just like it's just not the same man and then that bar what used to be really fun actually that bar kind of like sucks now it's like dirty and gross and the people suck you're like this is no good or you try to do that party and try to drink the old drinks it's like oh let's fucking do like a keg stand let's like drink hypnotic or something stupid like that you're like oh wait a minute this

is awful i hate this i i think you go out to the bar you're like crowded you're like i can't believe i'm doing this that summer i can't believe i'm doing this again it's i had that every fucking year it was i actually had a great weekend because i didn't do anything summery it was i stayed on the couch all weekend i watched two seasons of breaking bad this weekend uh try to catch up for that movie it's awesome yeah well like i i start shows where i'm like oh i gotta finish it by this date and i start like a month in advance you blow i'll be done in a week i don't know why i think i think it comes out november yeah well people i think just like a week ago people said uh they did like the clem like starting now if you watch one episode per night you're good fuck does that fuck you one episode fuck you clem sticking to that was one of the most impressive things i've ever seen

in my life i bet clem didn't stick to that i bet clem watched a couple and i just tweeted one like that's i've done that shit before i've lied and rewatched every night you've lied about watching shows to a preposterous to an outrageous extent like but like to a sociopathic pathological extent you gotta just sit there watch it again six hours later yep no i haven't seen this yet uh with stuns of anarchy no less where it's just like okay now i have to watch jack steller like have a machine gun fight in the middle of a town again but i did it but so yesterday i was uh i had a great weekend i i got a little sick which wasn't great, but whatever.

Have some CBD and shut the fuck up. It's not worth complaining about. Just acknowledge, I'm hot. I'm like clammy. He's all salty. He's over there shaking his head because his kids got sick. We're going to have a sick off over here. My daughter was machine gun vomiting all over the room.

And he's like, I had a little sniffle. It kind of ruined my weekend. You had the family guy going? Like everyone throwing up on top of the throw? Yes, absolutely. I'm not sick yet. i just have the precursor to being sick which is worse because you know stuff you know like fuck tomorrow's gonna suck yeah um get your shit done now because come tomorrow the uh but but yeah it's not that's not the point but anyway so as i was coming home on the train yesterday after having a great weekend of doing nothing summer related i was surrounded by people who were trying to keep summer going on the train yeah not like not so much partying but just they were happy and there's

nothing worse because i was sick i was i wasn't like like depressed i just i wasn't feeling great right and there's nothing worse than being around people who are happy when you're not oh yeah because it's even worse company it's even worse than being around people who are happy when you're not. Oh, yeah. Because it's even worse. Misery loves company. It's even worse than being the sober person in a drunk crowd. It's worse than being in the house that's not like the apartment that's not partying when they next door they are. It's just like seeing the smiles and like, I'm like, fuck you guys.

Shut the fuck up. And again, it's not that I want the smile. It's I want you to frown. I want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't want to share that. I want you to share in the just. Again,'t like a depression it was just i'm not feeling good i just want peace and quiet right now i don't want the mets to win i want everyone else to lose along with me misery truly loves company what i found out though while that was all

happening is that when i'm annoyed i guess or not feeling well i'm as mean as like a hungry seven-year-old where like i was in my head just saying exactly what i knew would affect these people the most like like like there was one girl just she was just talking on her phone the entire train ride and she was a seat in front of me and she was talking while looking out the window which reflects sound quite well so it was like she was yelling into my ear and i was sitting back there like shut up you fucking tall bitch like you know you're six inches taller than you want to be and she was and she was i would never say it out loud but i was just like i was saying the things like children say like that you are the most self-conscious about you said it or you

no no no no no no i would never say it out loud. I was like, holy shit. No, no, no. That's like borderline verbal assault. Right, right. Oh, yeah. It's super mean to say out loud. But in my head, I was like – it was so mean. The stuff I was saying was so mean in my head. I was like, Jesus Christ, relax. It was –

You go up to a girl like that and tell her she's too tall and like you ruined her life. By the way, have you seen the trailer for the movie Tall Girl? I've seen it. I've opened the video but with not having sound on so i've seen like this the subtitles but i don't want to pull that turn it off i mean don't get me wrong i'm sure it's a very true story for all the uh larger than usual girls like i'm sure it sucks when you're six feet tall but it's just called i thought at the end i was building up to like the reveal of the title i was i was like this is going to be so corny what's it going to be called

and so I thought to myself I was like it's going to be called Standing Tall here we go Standing Tall and they were just like Netflix presents

Tall Girl like what? that's it? Netflix I think has like two years left I think it's crazy next it's going to be like Fat Person

Big Nose Person they're spending like eight billion dollars on this content too they used to they used to have it like that where it was like i don't know whatever it's not flicks i'll watch it now no that's not the case they're in a downward swing i'm thinking about dropping it once uh hulu and disney plus combine oh you're tough talk you're not dropping i might you are not guess what you know that means drops it too yeah i know yeah that's true well you can drop, fuck. Like, everyone I know. Yeah, that's true. Well, you can drop it.

I'm on your wife's, bro. You ain't dropping shit. Well, that's what will get dropped. Nope. Nope. It's 2019, bro. You gotta keep Amazon Prime. The matriarch rules the world.

You gotta keep Amazon Prime. You have to. You gotta sign up with a new thing, and then you're right. You probably just... You're not getting it. You probably just sign up, and then it's no changing. This is like when Twitter kept banning me, and I was like, I'm gonna go to Snapchat full time.

I'm gonna go to Instagram. I'm never tweeting again. You're an addict. It's're an addict i mean the only stuff i watch on netflix is the disney stuff so what what is netflix gonna have there'll be you'll there'll be a couple specials you want to watch on comedy there'll be uh there'll be like uh there'll be some show that comes out like a stranger things or you ain't dropping it isn't enough you need that that noise it's like it's not quite it's like probably the second most recognizable behind Law and Order but that red end

you need that shit you need me on that wall you ain't dropping it I'm gonna give everyone a word of advice here in 2019 I don't care how poor you are, okay? You need everything. You need all of the forms of entertainment. I don't want to show up and have you say I don't have cable.

You got YouTube premium? I actually do. I got YouTube TV. Yeah. I think so. I definitely. The YouTube thing is the problem is it's got so many names. What's YouTube Red? Right. Right. And then there's YouTube TV. That's not TV or premium? No, I don't think it is the problem it's got so many names what's YouTube Red

right and then there's YouTube TV that's not TV or premium no I don't think it is yeah right yeah I'm pretty sure I at least did the two week trial

with the intent of deleting it and never did so I think I'm yeah so you do have it like if I if I show up to your place

for some reason not gonna happen but if I was like let's watch this and you're like I don't have that can't have it priorities it's like the only reason you show up shelter food clothes all the entertainment the only thing you'd be like let's watch this but even that when people are

like you know don't worry we can stream it off reddit or something like that it's like i just know yeah i don't want to be behind i don't want to have quality issues i want to hear the broadcast just fucking make sure you cover it and if you can cut the cord it's actually getting a lot easier people used to cut the cord like five years ago those people can kiss my ass fuck that now it's getting a little more reasonable i don't care how you do it if you found out the right sling box uh cat cake a la carte package whatever as long as i can watch if need need be, the fucking news, the sports, the comedy specials, all of it.

I need to see all of it. They should go the other direction and just put Hulu, Netflix, all that stuff on cable. Well, that's what's happening. Basically, at this point, they're reinventing cable. They're going to have different channels with different types of programming on it. Get the fuck out of here. But, it's imperative

at this stage in life because of everything we just said we don't like summer we don't like going out we don't like fun i mean i can't this i forgot that it was the tuesday after labor day that's a big deal for me in this life the way i used to behave every time this used to be one of your 20 worst days no no this was the day this was the day this was the worst oh this is the best day. Now it's incredible. Yeah, it was like... Now I was like, hey-oh! Also, it doesn't literally mean this,

because for whatever fucking reason, my kids start school next week instead of this week, but once you have kids, after Labor Day is the best. It's like, you are going the fuck back to school! The weather's turning. Everything's infinitely better as you get further and further away from summer it's one of the craziest shifts in life i mean i said today uh 22 through 32 uh

this day i was like the only way to escape this is to kill myself like this i'm so miserable i'm so hungover i'm so sad all that shit and now i'm like oh i just feel that way every day that's once you're like 32 plus every every day is the Tuesday after Labor Day. Once your kids get older, though, I think it switches. Because I was talking to my dad last night. And he was out at the vineyard. And he's like, yeah, so you could make it out here. I was like, yeah, you know, whatever.

I'm kind of happy, though. Like, fuck summer. Summer sucks. And it was like I slapped my mom in front of him. He's like, what? I was like, yeah, dude. Like, I don't like summer. And, like, I never I was like, yeah, dude. Like I don't like summer. And like I never really went out there that often anyway.

So they had a feeling. They knew. But this was my time coming out of the closet about not liking the summer. I was finally just – I wasn't feeling good on the train. Everyone around me was happy. Yeah. He used to talk to me, which I don't like doing in public anyway. But like it was – he actually – the call had dropped at the end of the call.

So you still called back? That's the worst. So I was like – I was just in a bad mood at that point. And he's like, yeah, we're sorry you couldn't make it out here. He's like, yeah, I didn't want to. Not me. Not me. Not sorry at all.

Anyway, I hate summer. I hate summer. My parents, I mean, you've had a house on the vineyard forever? Since I was like probably 14 or something. See, we kind of had the same thing. Like, we used to go to Long Beach Island all the time. And we loved it down there. A place called Fantasy Island. kids summary oriented to the point that my parents

bought a fucking house down there and then we were both like teenagers and we were like oh well you guys are going away for the weekend i'm gonna stay here and drink yeah yeah and they were like we bought a fucking house for this i was like oh well i don't want to do that anymore it's like the most same thing with the pool we used to love swimming they bought a pool it was like uh i'm gonna go drink in the woods now mom like i don't want the pool anymore we had a pool except when they're down in lbi and then we drink the pool we had a pool for like a month it was crazy it was in ground no no no no that's why my dad was like i'll test it i'll get an above ground pool and if you guys like it if you use it we'll get an in-ground pool, and if you guys like it, if you use it, we'll get an above-ground pool. And you got an above-ground pool, and we all take that shit down.

Absolutely not. No, I'm not going. Like, the major expenses and changes parents will go through to try to make their kids happy, and they're just like, nope, I'd rather drink like a 40 in a basement somewhere. Because you're hormonal. My opinion is going to change like that. I'm going to love the pool tomorrow, you know? And then when you take that thing down, I'll be like, I wish we had a pool right now. What the fuck?

100%. And I actually – I think I could get down with summer. I guess like what you're saying, it comes back around. Like if I was older and I was like, all right, I'm going to go down there and we're going to like drink cocktails and the sun goes down by the pool. That sounds pretty good. But right now, I mean, bro, when I woke up on Monday and I saw it was raining, I literally fist pumped.

I was like, yes! I open up the app and I see the little raindrops falling on my iPhone and I was like, thank God. It's a day off, post-summer technically, and I have guilt-free laziness coming my way. No one's going to be like, oh, it's Labor Day. You got to barbecue or go to the pool or come to the vineyard or go to the ocean.

Nope. I'm not doing any of it and I don't have to because Mother Nature's Mother Nature's on board with the indoor life. That's why I was so mad this morning when I woke up. I saw 76. I was going to wear a sweatshirt today in celebration. Yeah, right. I was going to come in in like a jacket. I was like, I can see you wearing shorts for God's sake. I didn't wear shorts all summer. I was like, wear a sweatshirt today in celebration. Yeah, right. I was going to come in in a jacket.

I was going to wear shorts, for God's sakes. I didn't wear shorts all summer. I was like, well, Jesus, 76 in September. Might as well be 100,000 degrees right now. It was a day of the ass. Yo, speaking of the weather, how about our boy in the Hawaiian shirt preaching about ice cubes? Can't see how they haven't come up with some kind of way to combat these storms yet. They keep saying, you know, two days ago, three days ago, oh, it's going to hit all this warm weather, all this warm weather and warm water.

We have a Navy. Why don't the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it can't get going as fast as it's going. There's got to be ways to combat this instead of just pointing at the thing and saying, well, now it's getting worse. Yeah, we know it's getting worse, but you tell us, oh, it's the warm weather. Oh, it's the wind. Well, we have an Air Force. We have some Air Force planes around to get the winds going the opposite way. The Navy to go in circles to fight it the other way. Cease and desist, man.

Cease and desist. Sometimes I think I predict the future. There are some times where I actually think that we influence the world more than we think. I don't know if that guy heard us directly, but some of these coincidences sometimes, especially with the

geo-targeting and shit going on like i used to be like wow this is like oh crazy coincidence it's like no it's not like you're talking about it they're hearing it it's gonna it's actually happening because of like the government but something like that i'm just like i don't know man there's a cause and effect here and that that's the kind of guy who looks like maybe he would he would have heard that and like yeah i see what you're talking about. I'll tell you what, too. When he expanded on that, great idea. Yeah.

Great idea. And what? The F-150s fly the opposite way of the wind? What's the problem? That sounds fucking genius. Again, as we said, at least try it. Everybody laughing at ice cubes and nuclear bombs and shit when there was a category five moving one mile per hour that's crazy they described it as a tornado being on top of you for 14 hours imagine if a tornado

just didn't move that's a category five moving a mile per hour i mean it moves you know 100 miles it takes a hundred hours It's fucking insanity. They were talking about it, and they were describing it as it's sitting on the Bahamas. And I was like, what an awful way to hear that. YP's got those shirts out, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bahamas strong. Those are cool shirts, too.

I also, I mean, I'll tell you what. The Bahamas used to have an orange X. Full-blown red X now. Can't go to these places anymore. Certainly not during hurricane season. Not during hurricane season. I think you can go other times. Yeah, but you can't live there.

No. How could you live there? It's just like you know what's going to happen every year. Awaiting death or destruction. I'd love to live there, but, I mean, yeah, you're right. Unless you're just like, I live in this hut, and I evacuate when it happens. The hut gets wiped out, and I can live very modestly. People who like, I don't know if this happens as much in the Bahamas as maybe someplace like Puerto Rico or some of these other islands where you buy a house.

You have a gorgeous house on the beach or something. You can't even do that in Florida. You can't even do that here. People who have really nice houses in Jersey, Sandy came along. Any of these, even from this hurricane, you maybe don't get hit with a hurricane, but you get hit enough that it's like you can't invest in anything on the water or where these wildfires are or whatever. I forget who I was. I was talking to someone who had just bought an island in Florida and was building an exclusive restaurant out there. This was like two years ago.

Yeah. And he was like – Never mind. Yeah, it was literally they were like almost done with construction or whatever i it was a friend in passing it was you know i probably met him at a friend's house or whatever and he was just like yeah so now i'm just not doing that anymore yeah like now you know what did you think was gonna happen i mean you bought an island i would imagine florida luckily that guy's probably pretty wealthy he He's buying islands and shit. So at least that guy can be like, whatever.

But for the locals who live there, it's like every year, at least once, your wife will be wiped out. Your life will be wiped out. And they're like, okie dokie. That is – it is crazy. I mean, I have friends who live down there. And I'm like, what do you do? Just get out. I'll tell you what. Their Snapchat stories or Instagram stories are pretty fucking awesome the other the other

you know just like 364 races to see who could go get beers first yeah pretty cool the the i saw one uh social media video the camaraderie with a storm is i mean hurricane parties are the best yeah they really are you get to have all the time you know know I'm coming around coming around on this you're living on the edge a little bit snow parties and hurricane parties are undoubtedly the most fun the only fun you can have as an adult really until the day I die

on those days I'll strap up those are the days you can dial it back and you actually can kind of recreate some of the old nostalgia it's the other times that you're forcing it it's like well mother nature is giving us this party giving us this day off whatever it may be then i can have fun otherwise i want to kill myself so it's you know not one of the worst well it is one of the worst days of the year it's just that all the days are the worst days of the year now it's it's not one of the worst days because i'll tell you what i saw something beautiful today oh did you yes

well this you were telling me you saw something on your way to work right because that's that that is the thing that does suck even if you're not out there partying and having fun labor day marks the end of summer marks the end of like your boss is out for a month and everyone's gotten out a lot of people lose summer fridays we don't really but a lot of people lose fridays a lot of people lose the vacation vibe because now it's back to work everybody's like and especially even if you work in sports it's like football's here baseball's heating up like it's back to work. Everybody's like, even if you work in sports, football's here, baseball's heating up, it's time to get back on your grind.

That kind of sucks because no matter how much fun or little fun you're having, summer means ain't nobody working. But it's back to work and that's brought to you by Quip. We got new Quip toothbrushes. John finally got one because the last time

they got mailed to the office, they were pilfered. They were stolen. Everyone just took toothbrushes from my desk. That's a normal thing to do. Can I tell you something that's ridiculous about toothbrushes but is true? A toothbrush to me is the main thing in the world that really shouldn't matter what it looks like,

but it kind of does to me. You could brush your teeth with like a shit brown toothbrush and it doesn't matter but we're right quip sent me sent us these like light aqua uh toothbrushes in like this like cylinder case that like comes open and i was like this is fucking kind of cool man futuristic yeah right very futuristic and it doesn't like i'm brushing my teeth with science. Like, that shouldn't really matter. Like I said, the brush is good. The bristles are good.

You're brushing them right. Two minutes, you're good to go. But a little bit of swag on your toothbrush. It's like when you go to the gym and you wear nice gym clothes. Yeah. It makes you feel like you're working out. This is like... One you don't understand, but a good one. I know that makes sense.

Not from experience. But yeah, Quip has uh i now have the rose gold toothbrush and the light aqua so my my toothbrush game is fire bro uh and quip is revolutionary in the sense that it has these built-in timers so it vibrates and pulses when you need to switch sides and top and bottom of your mouth so you make sure you get a full even clean uh and it has the ultrasonic vibrations you're knocking out all that plaque and whatnot and they do the brush heads that's the one thing that everybody forgets you when you're a kid you used to use your brush i don't know i feel like i had the same toothbrush for like 10 years probably when i was a kid either that or my mom was replacing them and i didn't know

about it now you don't have a mother now you don't have a mother so you need quip because every three months they send you brush heads to be uh that is something i never thought about my mom was like cleaning my sheets right i never realized that was a thing that happened it's like uh i also just thought i don't like toilet paper disappears like oh your mom used to do a lot of stuff quip will take care of the toothbrush for you though they will deliver you uh new brush heads every three months, which is the dental recommendation. So right now, go to getquip.com. For $25, you get yourself a new toothbrush, and the first brush head refill pack is free.

So go to getquip.com slash KFC. That's G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash KFC for $25. You get a new electric toothbrush and your first refill pack on brush heads for free. What did you see on your walk, Johnny? I hate this. Oh, boy. It was – That threw me for a loop.

You're like, I just saw something so beautiful on the way to work. I hate this. No, no, no. I didn't say beautiful. I said funny. It was – You said beautiful. I don't think I said beautiful.

He definitely said beautiful. All right. I said beautiful. I know that because I was like, what? It was – so I do – I hate this because it's such a trope and a stereotype that I think it's hacky to even talk about now. But so I was walking to work today and I see this guy and probably from from a block away, half block away, I spotted him, and I was like, damn, that dude's stepping out. And I saw he had on this hoodie that was very ripped and open,

and then he had tight cargo pants that were a little rolled up, and he had blue and yellow saw blue and whites blue and yellow socks and then like new balance 990s and i was thinking in my head i was like damn it's officially fall because my man is is really dressed he's trying to get them fits off it was the sweatshirt was like like it was basically just the hood it was so like ripped open and stuff sounds right up your alley and i was like fuck that looks like but like he wasn't wearing a shirt under it was just like it's like i want my fall clothes but you know i i got this fucking sneaky sweatshirt and he was at the uh homeless man

are you describing a homeless man it's exactly it was it was i got up I was This is so perfect I was getting Yes I was getting He was talking to a cart And Talking to a cart?

Like a food cart You meant like a shopping cart And I saw I even saw him I thought he was moving his hands Like this And as I got closer I realized he was pleading for food

So you thought this guy was like Yo what's up ma Like How you doing And he was like Please Just give me a buttered roll. It's like, I think that's why I got to take my headphones out to listen to it because I was so mad in my head.

Like, Jesus fucking Christ, John. But the it was like it was like everyone always says, oh, you can't tell what's fashionable or what's a homeless person. Most homeless people dress like shit. This dude looked good. Like he was in good shape. John, it was. John, what? people dressed like shit this dude looked good like he was in good shape john it was it was john what i've got everything i described down to the 990s is like a fashionable thing he was wearing

fashionable clothes he even had like socks that popped i think what happened was this guy was like a streetwear model and he got fired on set and then just became homeless immediately like it only happened like three weeks ago they were you know they were lived in clothes not homeless person clothes when they say uh when they what's what's like the the thing like your your um your cartoon character clothes like when you die it's like that's what you wear forever yeah i'm talking about like that joke it's like when that's your homeless people clothes whenever you become homeless and that's what you wear it's closed forever that's they make like i think they were because they looked like they fit him well they were what it wasn't even like they

were like the pants he was wearing were too small. They were like well-fitting skinny cargo pants. And it was the end. The lesson here. Barely new New Balance 990s on. That's a cool sneaker. And then just the sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was the one.

That was the piece de resistance. That was like, when I saw that, I was like, shit, my guy is going for it. He saw the fucking calendar turn to september he said let's time to bust out the big guns and put on a hood with that was just tatters below it i would love i gotta see this guy wait maybe i mean i mean he's on the corner of we could go back like he'd probably still be there yeah it's park and 33rd we might have to take a trip it's actually like the same exact area on the other side of the street where the homeless lady told me that – not homeless lady. The lady who's collecting signatures when I just kind of walked past her.

That pants too tight anyway. What the fuck was that? It's a tough corner for me to go on. Of course. So you are – rather than saying to yourself, boy, like I got to maybe like reevaluate this like fashion idea. You're just going with this was a super hot homeless man. Well, it's all, first of all, it's not something I would wear. Just like that dude looks cool.

So I stand by that. The dude looked cool. But he was homeless. So what? He looked cool. So homeless now is cool. So that's, I mean, that's kind of the joke and the cliche. I bought a sweatshirt at Disney the other day that's fucking awesome.

I don't care, like, what it costs. If it looks cool, it looks cool. Right, but it kind of confirms the cliche of, like, Kanye's just selling clothes a homeless people wear. No, it doesn't confirm the cliche. It happened literally one time, and people have been saying that for seven years. But I think that it happened more times than you realize. Like, maybe in this sense that it's literally a homeless guy,

but I do think fashion has been looking extra homeless for a while now i think you just think it's fashionable but yeah but now are you kind of seeing that they yeah i don't care it looks cool like what's in fashion is homeless clothes yeah i mean like it's people have said homeless chic yeah it's i mean they're they're distressed clothes you wear distressed jeans right that's a homeless look well people don't people who have money don't wear clothes with holes in them. I think that distressed, like homeless people are super distressed. You have like three or four holes in the jeans now. Yeah, but that's very different than like those look like jeans with holes in them,

not like homeless people are wearing those. Like what Easy is doing. Historically speaking, people with money don't wear clothes with holes in them. No, I would not say that. I think like holes in jeans have been a thing for a while i think holes in shirts and like open like tattered clothing is kind of homeless i think it was like tom ford who made those sneakers that were like literally like they like rubbed oil on them and just like smashed them up it's like it's it's it's homeless chic it really is but that's utterly ridiculous for all the people

out there who are like normal and the norm core or whatever this is this is what they've been talking i mean it's something that grabs your eye and i grabbed my eye and i was like shit that's like a fucking poppy sweatshirt that's it he was wearing these because he can't afford anything right but you'll pay a premium for it. I said I wouldn't wear it. I would not wear that sweatshirt. I could not wear that sweatshirt. I'm not in good enough shape like this homeless guy is.

This guy's got a membership defense. I mean, I walked by. His back was fully exposed. I was like, God damn. Dude's been lifting. Working at the delt. Oh, my God. The real lesson here is if you feel like you're about to become homeless,

things are really going. If you're on your last month of rent and you're like, this is it for me, you need to go get a job at a fashion house real quick. You know what I mean? Somewhere where there's some clothes. Grab yourself some samples and then become homeless. I mean, it didn't really do them any benefit. They got a story told about him on a podcast.

I had to buy him a sandwich. Yeah, but you know what? This is something that, like, couldn't you see the New York Post? Did you see the hot delivery man? No. Hang on. This is actually very, this actually is good serendipitous podcasting here because this dude.

Should we put it up on Gold? Yes, please. Barstoolgold.com slash KFC to see this guy. He's a UPS or what can Brown do for you? What's that one? Is that UPS? So the Post wrote an article. You know what's crazy too?

Sorry to interrupt. Delivery guy to me no longer means one of these guys. Means a Post means guy. Means a Post means guy. Or a delivery guy. Yep. Yep, I agree with that. I did not expect you to say part of the Postal Service.

So this guy, the New York Post really just has like zero standards. Are we going to put it up on the screen or are we just putting it on the video? I got it. Either way, if you're watching, barstoolgold.com slash KFC, we realize that we have over 120 hours of content between our original shows and video version of version of the podcast you pay right now what what's the lowest like 6.99 7.99 something that get 120 hours this dude is being dubbed it's meet the hot ups delivery guy like a fucking vampire john driving women crazy in new york city

that's what i said you know what i said he looks like uh dennis and d go on welfare it looks like he got addicted to crack over the weekends look and like what my homeless dude is so much hotter than this guy so maybe maybe you know if the new york post is writing about this guy there could be like meet the the homeless chic guy who's like got got the got the men of new york city jealous so look at these pictures look at these staged photos they said that all the women around uh the neighborhood this is in soho are like oh we want anthony we hope anthony delivers we hope anthony's on our route we wouldn't want anybody but anthony like this guy look at the schnoz i hate to i don't want to be a hater but when when someone dubs you the hot guy look at it i mean

you know the bags under the eyes again unless this is this is kind of a heroin chic type thing. It's like Adrian Brody and the pianist. Yes, yes. And no one would ever be like, oh, yeah, daddy. You know what I mean? Like, come on. Once a 98-year-old woman asked me on a date, you're such a handsome young man. I wish it was more like you. She's 98, dude.

Another time, a group of bachelorettes. A group of bachelorettes begged him to go dancing with them after his shift. People love the uniform. I also get a lot of package innuendos. Fuck you, dude. He's 6'2", so he's got that going for him. I mean, any guy who's over – 6'2", by the way, I've grown.

I've grown. So when we were at CCK the other day, we were talking height. Were you on? I think Marty was on. Casey was like, you're 6'1". I was like, I'm not 6'1". But Marty was like, you're not that much shorter than me and i'm six two so i was at the doctor and i measured myself and i'm actually over six feet now without my shoes with my shoes i'm a full six one

without my shoes i'm like six and change nice but that doesn't happen you don't grow man it did apparently that's crazy i got the official doctor correctors been where i was gonna say maybe i just maybe i just have better posture and i'm just up a little higher maybe my long ass neck like actually grew longer but i'm officially over six feet i was feeling real good about myself about that i'm literally in the doctor i took keegan for his like two year check up like months late and i I'm sitting there measuring myself. He's fucking around. I'm like, hang on, Keegan.

Just give me one more second, dude. I'm like, I'm going to round up. I'm 6'1". I'm fucking 6'1". There you go. But this guy, if he can get an article, homeless she can too. And there's a really good chance that we'll find him again.

Maybe not directly on that corner, but they don't stray far from their neighborhoods. Yeah. I mean, again, he's... Winter is coming. We'll find him again. Maybe not directly on that corner, but they don't stray far from their neighborhoods. Yeah. I mean, again, he's... Winter is coming. He's got to get a new sweatshirt soon. I mean, it's a nice summer sweatshirt. So his chest is out?

No, but it looks like he's been slashed a little bit. And then the fullback. He probably has. The fullback is exposed. He probably has been in the back too. He has maybe like strings across there and yeah that guy was probably begging oh actually you know what that made that just remind me of i got off the train the other night in uh in boston and this girl was walking she

ended up like not cutting me off but just walking speed walking me. And then there was an older gentleman in front of me, like 70s. When she walked in front of him, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Like he, she had on the yoga pants. Oh, because she was hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a girl's travel, like, style. But the sweatshirt she was wearing was particularly exposing. Like it was, she had a nice back.

And I can tell that because i could see her back explicitly it was full back and this guy did like an actual stop head pop like look around around are you seeing this like it was he had no idea what to do but then you could tell he was uncomfortable being behind her because it was one of those things where like she's so exposed that even walking behind her it feels like you're creepy yeah and it's like well you caught in front of me and i have no way to get around you right i'm old as shit you're walking like just like looking up for no reason yeah he kept kind of just doing that like looking at a wall and i was like and then i followed both them

just because i wanted to keep watching his reaction so you're you're creepily staring at the guy creepily staring at the girl this girl just started girl just started to sneak. Listen, I'll be honest. When a girl's doing that, she probably wants you to look at her. Maybe not a 98-year-old guy, whatever, you know, a 70-year-old guy. But you know what I mean? I'm not going to be the goof who's like, not looking, not looking, if you're doing that. No, I think you go high school shower. I do the one peek.

And then after that, you just keep— If she's walking in front of you? It wasn't like— I'm not going to avert my— Nope wasn't like I'm not going to avert. Nope, nope. I'm not going to be the creep. I can just stare straight ahead and like look over. I'll take.

Yeah, I'm not going to like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right, right, right. But I mean, listen, it was it was she was she did the speed walk and it was like, oh, we got we kind of got bottlenecked. And we just had to like go up the stairs together. It was just the guy had no idea what to do with his eyes he had no clue where i've seen one of these since the great war um uh well so what do we got today we got janice pop is on the show uh very funny comedian who's got a new special he's working on with andrew schultz who was on last week if you listen to the

to the schultz interview uh they kind of crossed over uh at the very end of the Schultz interview pop Giannis came in so we kind of just had one long continuous conversation there so you can check him out um also I know you're speaking about how things are are cliche and trite and all that and uh I do believe that the gender reveals had had jumped the shark at one point but we had a gender reveal of our own here at Barstool Sports this weekend with Willie, who I didn't even know he was having a kid. So we have another Podfather edition coming up. How old is Willie? I would guess 32?

35? Five? His house. Willie, I would have believed 27. He's so big he doesn't have an age. I don't know. How old is Bowser, bro? That's how old Willie is.

It's kind of like one of those kids in the Little League World Series. You're just like, yeah, you could be 12. You could also be 19. The only thing I knew is that he had a decently long career. He played for several teams. I knew he played for two, but I didn't know how long. It was just two, right? It was just Steelers and Jets?

Yeah. But I didn't know. Like, I thought it was maybe three and two or something like that. It's weird because with athletes, like, he's a co-worker now, but you can just look up his contract. So I was like, I know. It said career earnings, $22 million, which is a lot of money. And I also get the sense that Willie was, like, kind of smart with his cash because his house and his lifestyle his existence is so fucking awesome his house is incredible you see that in the in the in the gender reveal at one point they like pan and there's just like people

on balconies and upstairs cases is fucking unreal so they did a gender reveal where willie was in a dunk tank and uh when he got dunked, the confetti goes off blue or pink. And shout out to his lady. She took her three throws. But I was like, you know, most guys out there, you might be there all day long. Oh, yeah. You know, that's not easy to do. And so she hits him on the third.

Here we go. If you're watching on gold. So, like, even the misses are pretty close. so like even the misses are pretty close like there's a lot of girls who would be like air mailing this over the entire yellow mat

you know and look at Willie he's just a fucking I can't believe they even have a dunk tank that could hold him like it's not big enough and when he lands

he like pushes the whole thing off here it is here's the money shot with the red slippers on he calls it too because you're going down yeah

bingo so they pop the blue confetti With the red slippers on. He calls it, too, because you're going down. Yeah. Bingo! So they pop the blue confetti. He gets up, just whacks the fucking fence right off the thing. Rawr! Like goddamn Hulk. And then here, watch this. This is Willie's brother coming off the edge, completely unblocked.

Just clips the bride, clips the baby mama here. Pow! She goes down, and he doesn't even... I mean, the women come in to help, and his brother and him are just celebrating that it's a boy. John, let me tell you something. How did Willie know right away? Know what? Right away what? I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl for a while.

The blue confetti that goes off right away. You can see, like, as soon as he came out of the water, he was, like, slamming the fence already. Maybe he knew. Also, by the way, he was like slamming the fence already. Maybe he knew. Also, by the way, unless you're fucking Gordon Hayward, you should just be excited no matter what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe he was just like, I'm going to pop up out of this water.

That's what I was thinking happened. Like super excited. Imagine if he just came out of the water. Although I guess maybe when he came up, there was confetti floating in the water. Yeah. But I was like, I didn't know if maybe all the, I watched like four times to see how, I was like, what was it that told him? I thought it was balloons popped for

the one that it wasn't. But it was... He's happy he's having a child. Makes sense. It's a good idea. If you're going to do the gender reveal, if you get what you want, certainly go celebrate. If you get what you quote-unquote don't want, have a good poker face ready. Because if your daddy's always

happy, you're fucked. Let me tell you something john she broke her wrist when she fell there she broke her wrist no yeah i was like oh fuck as i was texting with willie i was like i was like yo like your boy came in like unblocked off the edge like you got to protect her and he was like yeah man uh like she fell she broke her wrist and i was like oh my god was she pissed and he was like nah it's all good it's all family and i was like your lady's cooler than a lot of other girls out there because if on on the gender reveal video event she falls and obviously she's the pregnant one and breaks her wrist most people are getting like a talking to oh God. You think he knew that he clipped her? Or, like, sometimes you hit it, and you're just like,

if I stop now and go apologize, like, you just cut losses. Oh, Willie's brother? Yeah. Willie's brother absolutely knew he clipped her and just was like, hug me, I hope that's okay, I hope she's all right. Because that is, I mean, you knocked over the pregnant woman. She's the star of the show right now. And all the women run in like oh my god and willie just like yeah but whatever i mean that's that's a that's a close-knit family right there if it's all good it would not have

been all good could you imagine bro imagine you and my gender reveal you broke someone's wrist. No comment. It would not have been like, I don't think any brides out there would be, or moms would be like, make a scene. But afterwards, you're in some trouble. You're in so much trouble. And I don't think they're being the irrational ones here. No, no, no. And she's pretty justified. But then that's got to be the worst because, again, this sounds all good. But with other families, it's like, so now I have to, like, be in a fight with my brother?

I'd have to – what would I have to do? Like, yo, man, that was fucked up. Don't do that again. I'm texting on the side. It's all good, man. No, no, no. We would have had to plan. We'd be like, how do we fix this?

You know what you have to do? I have to break your wrist. I just put your – Come over. I'll get a bat. Like an attack hammer, like a small hammer. Pow!

It's even worse. I'd rather you hit me with a bat. Just pow! One of those little knobs. One of those things made to break bones. Yeah, right. This is called

like a mobster hammer. It's just for fingers. Just pow! I break your wrist. I bet you there are some mobs out there that would be like, eye for an eye.

Do it. Fucking do it. If you love me, break his wrist. Alright, we got voicemails first before we get to Giannis. Voicemails today are brought to you by Circle. Circle delivers water.

Now, John, nobody drinks water like John Henry. Nobody. I drink probably – it's because I don't sweat. My body does not know how to control its own temperature, so I have to cool it down. You're cold-blooded, I think. I don't think you have – what's it called?

Homeostasis? Cold-blooded means I don't get cold, right? Cold-blooded means that your body doesn't regulate its own temperature. If it's cold, you get cold. If it's hot, you get hot. You don't sweat. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what happens. That's exactly what happens. Snakes need cold out, you get cold. If it's hot, you get hot. You don't sweat. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what happens.

Snakes need to live under a hot lamp. Actually, I don't really get cold, but I do get very, very, very hot. Yeah, but you don't sweat. So that's a bad combination right there. You've got to make sure you've got a hot lamp to hydrate. A thousand bottles of water a day. I refill it most of the time. Don't get on me, environmentalist. Yeah, that's true.

You do. I witness that all the time. I come in and I get – I drink one and I start spitting into that one. I get another one and that's what I use. Now, the problem for me, I don't like the taste of water. So I'm going to say it's tasteless. I think it has an actual taste. Oh, no. It's got a taste.

It's not a vibrant taste, but it's got a taste. That's why some waters are better. Tasani, Aquafina. I don't like when it's mineral water, and I feel like I can taste the zinc and the iron and the minerals in it. But Circle is a water delivery service with a flavor cartridge system that just gives it a little pop so that you can customize the flavor of your water because to me i just can't do the plain old h2o all day long there's no flavor there's a weird flavor not anymore with circle uh you can just uh hit it with like a little flavor package a little flavor cartridge and you're good to go you're not going to drink soda you're not going to drink all

these sugary drinks i feel like soda you drink soda. You're viewed as like a caveman, you know? You are. And if you drink it. Drinking soda now is like being someone smoking cigarettes. Yeah, it's like you get shamed. Yeah. But, you know, if you don't like the boring, flavorless taste of water, you can get on with Circle.

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drink circle.com slash kfc then use code kfc and get your circle bottle plus two free drink cartridges for $5. That's drinkcircle.com. To give that a strong recommendation, they sent us a bunch. I gave one to Keith. He stole the rest from me. If Keith's giving you the cosign, he's a pretty tough one to please when it comes to food and beverages and whatnot. So if he's down pretty tough one to please when it comes to food and beverages and whatnot. Yeah. So if he's down, everybody will be.

Drinkcircle.com slash KFC. Code KFC. Let's get into these voicemails. I love it. I recently had a streak of some awful first dates. But the topic came up with my friends. How much would it cost for you to baby talk on the very first date? I said, it really depends on how hot the girl is, but actually going to do it for 200 bucks here in the next week.

Let me know what y'all think, if I should have gotten it for more money or even less. Anyways, thanks guys. All right. A couple of things are going on here. Okay. I feel like, do we miss the first half? I think you just said he's been doing a lot of online dating. Okay.

Because I think that matters. I think your financial situation matters. I mean, there's a time, John, when you're eating tomato soup with a slice of Kraft Singles on top. If I told you $200 to go talk funny to a girl, I think you would do it like how many nights in a row. Yeah. You're right. Let me line this up. I'll fucking get rich tonight. Right. There are people who do

far more for far less. There are people who suck a dick for 50 bucks. Yeah, for 200 bucks, I would just have 30 Tinder dates ready to go one night. I'd sit down and go, Andy, sorry. Get up and walk out. That was my other part of it.

Your financial situation, one. Number two, what are we qualifying as, like, baby talk? You know, does it have to be, like, some true Goo Goo Gaga shit? Or, you know, can it just kind of be, like, pet names and, like, cutesy stuff? Also, what's really the problem? Like, the ultimate thing here is what? The girl thinks you're an asshole? And if you're doing, like, online dating.

You have to baby talk the whole time? I guess so. I feel like you. I mean, that's online dating. You can baby talk the whole time? I guess so. That's crazy. You can't baby talk the whole time. That wouldn't happen. The girl would be like, I'm leaving this date. You can baby talk for two sentences. Thoughts.

Maybe realistically, what if at the end of the night, you have a good date, and at the end, you walk out of her door, and you're just like, we had such a good time. I'm Bobby Dovey. I want to see you tomorrow and the next day and the next day can i give you a smoochy boochie and like you just torpedo yourself let's say it's a very because i don't really quite understand the the the the punishment if you will like okay so this girl hates you on a tinder date like next next let's say it's a date that goes really well it's a pretty girl and everything but you are obligated to do what i just did smoosh moopy boopy like kissy wissy i'm gonna

eskimo kiss you and like boop boop boop like i'm gonna poke you in the nose like i will find you like that you know that and then if it went well if you had a lot like in common with her and all that stuff i think i would think you share a sense of humor and i think that spinning the spin zone here is like that tornado that was off the coast of fire island you're i think i think you need to text her next morning be like sorry about that that was i had a bet with my friends it was like oh you're gonna just no no you're not allowed to out it you're not allowed to that's a that's a loophole i'm not gonna allow b if movies and anything has ever taught me uh anything girls

will react to things like this i feel like in half the the rom-com movies i would be like listen it started out as a bet but now i really love you so let's just get over it you know what i mean you're right i was a prank i'm not a spy exactly i did it was a joke that i was gonna fall in love with you but i really did so let's just keep it moving but girls are like you lied to me and then it's over so you can't tell her that's not that's not lying to you're right but that's not lying to him that's just like i i seriously did that now i'm telling you it's not a lie it's like i was an asshole and now i'm not i did yes i did because you were ugly and then you did take you down your hair and take off your glasses and you became hot so i was duped if anyone was lying it was you you ugly bitch

no you can't tell her and uh all she knows is that like hey i had a good day with this guy but he turned out to be a baby talk weirdo. And he probably died in the water. I don't know. I can't see. I can't. Right. But okay.

But for $200, it's just like, all right, that's not going to work. I guess that the question would be, what do you value more? Like, the potential for this date and this girl to lead to something more or $200? Probably $200. I mean. So it's really three things. What's your financial situation? What are we considering baby talk?

And what's your romantic situation? Look, if you do it, you come out on that relationship up 200 bucks. Name another relationship that you come out up on. Ahead, yeah. It's like this relationship would end, will end, maybe it'll be a couple years from now with great moments and experiences in between. But I'm going to come out in the red big time and spend so much money on you, and I'll be emotionally invested in you.

Instead, let's just call it a day now, and I'll get $200 for my buddies. That's pretty great. Also, I mean, what- If I was Warren Buffett, and you came to me with that business plan, that's a good idea for financials. The return on investment's crazy. It's fantastic. Oh, I guess's a good idea for financial support. The return on investment is crazy. It's fantastic. Oh, I guess you got to pay for the date.

Maybe it's not that good. I think you got to pay for the date. $200 profit. Yeah, yeah. And I guess, what, do you have to like film this? Because wouldn't you just go home and be like, I did it. Yeah, yeah. I schmoopy schmoopy there.

Give me that fucking money. I think you'd have to like at least say call them in the pocket beforehand or something like that. You ever do baby talk? Do I ever do baby talk? Yeah. Have you had been with a girl who does it have you ever like had that be a part of your i did not know it was like a thing yeah i well i do kind of think it's one of those like movie things where it's like does anybody actually say even in movies i don't even really see it no i well you know there's like a seinfeld episode and there's right

it's like seinfeld episode and uh wedding crashes where it's like crazy people. Yeah, yeah, but there are crazy girls out there. I know, I've never... I remember I was in my sophomore year of college and I had a girlfriend and I had blown her off. We were supposed to go on like a date to like a Broadwayway show and it was game seven of the reverse sweep year so i blew that off i was just like we're not going to that and then i went out and got shit-faced and uh such began the trend that i am still on about 15 years later of i'm just not going to text you or check in with you at all when i should be doing so uh i just don't do that

i don't know what it is it's not. It's not even like I was out cheating. It was just like, I'm drinking with my buddies, and I don't want to text you right now, so I'm not going to do that. It started in 2004. So later that night, when the night was over, I finally picked up the phone, and I didn't even do baby talk, but I was just like, oh, babe, I'm sorry. That was so stupid of me.

I'm really sorry. I'll make it up. It wasn't baby talk. It in a very like and my roommate at the time paul you know him he was like what are you some sort of fucking you know he went off on me and i was like i was i was just saying i'm sorry to her like what i didn't even think that was that bad man he just went in on me and i was like oh man i guess i'm some sort of fucking loser you know and then i like quickly like not quickly but i guess years later i realized like oh no you're you're the weird one when it comes to this shit dude i was just saying i'm sorry to someone at that it was like oh you have a fucking girlfriend

that you apologize to you fucking loser you guys start wearing the pants you little pussy exactly i actually ran around the ring by your girl i do believe he said something like uh what are you gonna shave your legs too or something stupid like that and i remember i was young and dumb enough where i was like oh man i guess i really am a fucking gay like what am i doing wrong you're gonna be tough and cool so that was i've never done like the i'll do pet names and shit like that for sure but i think it's about the voice i feel like you can have nicknames yeah but i don't think that counts as a pet name but well there's the generic ones you know what i mean i feel like are okay i feel like you do babe i'll say boo but that's almost like you're joking yeah like what's up boo you know what i mean okay what's up babe um what else would

i'd say i also don't really say it so i don't say it. I might text it. I don't say it. Yeah. Uh, I guess baby boo would really be all I say. Like personalized nicknames. It's like personalized. It's a love. It's a love. You're garbage.

What? Personalized nickname. Like personalized baby names are like personalized vows. Like you're garbage. Oh, I thought you meant that garbage was the name. No. What's up garbage? the name no stop garbage like that would that would explain a lot if you do that i got like a totally made up word

uh uh yeah like i don't know like i'd even count like muffin or something yeah those are so stupid like but yeah like like totally made up or just like very personal i think if it's like a sign if it was like he's honey bunch and i'm like baby cupcake I think if it's like a sign, if it was like, he's Honey Bunch and I'm like Baby Cupcake or some shit. And they say it, you know, it's like that's your name almost. That's where it gets weird. I'll throw out like a, it's like a nickname, but it's not a tailored baby talk conversation. No. I think that does happen though, more than you think.

I think there are some fucking girls out there that like enforce that. I haven't run into it in the wild yet. Next up. KFC, Fight, BC, what's good? I left a voicemail last October in the fall season about if you'd rather have your shirt two sizes too small or too big. Question, if you had a date with a girl a blind date never met before do you have a go-to outfit or you're rolling with something you've never worn before i'd love to know it because i got my game time boxers i got my game time pants i think

shirt wise it's up in the air but curious if you guys have a game time outfit i'll naturally defer to you on this one john absolutely not you not. You got to let it fly. Of course. That's crazy. It's like why I pack like five bags whenever I go anywhere. You got to feel out the moment. Right. You can't plan your outfits.

Planning your outfit is crazy. That's some 60-year-old man shit. You lay it out the night before. That means you have no versatility. Who knows what his date's going to be? Who knows what the weather's gonna be like who knows what season is you gotta just a fucking all right but i wear but let's say you know uh it's the weather's good you know the girl ahead of time already and you have decided that you're taking her to like the restaurant that you like you know you're doing the date that like you best. It's like an art.

There's so much emotion based on what you're going to wear, how you're feeling in the moment. Oh, my God. You got to be homeless. Who knows? It's like I put a thousand hours of thought into it. It's very simple. I plan my outfit when I'm in the shower. Every day I'm not shampooing my head,

but I'm by my body going, all right, what's going to go on this? It's almost like – How shall I dress this temple today? I'm like a detective. I come in and I'm looking at the scene and I'm feeling it. I'm like, oh, cup's still warm. And then I know – I'm told inside of me like what shirt is going to cover that. I hope you watch it on Gold.

You see him. He's like talking like an Italian chef. Like, muah, you put a little pinch of this and a little pinch of that. Presto, bango. There was a time when I had my big game boxers. Now that's just what I have. They're all big games. Yeah, now all my underwear is nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. You do reach a point where it's like, I can have more than just one of these. Yeah. But, yeah, everything's got to be in the moment. It's jazz, baby. Just bop, bop, bop, bop. But I also.

Bam, bam, bam. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, It's jazz. Improvise, baby. Okay. Yeah. improvise baby okay yeah i think that um some people maybe i don't know if i think of it as like my uh like go-to outfit but i think like like i do for guests i'm like i'm gonna wear

something dark so i don't look fat or sometimes if i just like uh wanted to uh be as like come like not comfortable like like sweatpants, just like comfortable in my own self. I'll wear like the quilted hoodie or something that I always do wear, you know? So it's not like I'm dressing to impress, but I might, I might like plan accordingly. But again, I mean, you're right. I'm doing that. Like as I'm going to the closet or going to the door, that's not planning. That's not like, okay, I have a date. I know what I've been wearing. Yeah. I guess I don't do that. So if you told me right now, like, yo, you're going to go out with that girl next Tuesday, and I was like, oh, okay, I'm going to wear those jeans with that shirt and those sneakers. Like, no.

You're going to wait until... But I did used to, when you were a kid, you used to lay your clothes out before school? No. Yeah, see, I used to do that. I would, like, literally lay them out like a human. Like, there's the shirt, there's the pants, there's the shoes. I was like, okay, this will look good. Like, I'll look like that, but it will be not on the ground it'll be on the spot good to go speaking of detectives mindhunter

season two are you done done you're done done i haven't binged like that in years like a true like i've been the whole season that is some seriously good tv and i didn't like season one i didn't really care for season one. I finished season one. Everybody did. I feel like that was kind of one of the last shows that like, it's Netflix, you have to watch it, like we were saying earlier. And I was like, it's okay. I mean, it's okay. It's good.

I mean. Yeah, what else? I know that name, but what do you know? I mean, he's seven, social network, fight club. I mean, he's a monster. Season one, I thought, was very slow. He has like seven really, really good movies. And he's the director of the whole thing yeah yeah it's uh i'm gonna he has like three of my favorite movies

like are his he directed i didn't care for season one much but i did watch enough of it to get the gist like i do think seven fight club zodiac gone girltoo, Social Network. So he's just like really nailed the like fucked up thriller type of murder shit. There were a couple shots in it that you even know. That's how you know it's a good director if you're kind of like a layman like us. And there were a couple shots where like that was legit. That looks like seven. That was like this. That was a great shot.

Right. I think you can – I often won't say this about almost any show. But I do think you can jump into season two somebody will ask you that i never say yes but i think this is the one where it might i mean i mean you can because i did like it but i did watch enough of season one to know who they are what the unit is doing and kind of who the characteristics of each let me ask you this that the um i thought tench like tench deserves an emmy tench was what he's unbelievable also so i was 1000 my father like yeah he's like got the same body looks like the same hair he looks like my dad yes and even just when he's like sitting there like angry it's like that's my dad yeah and uh but he was and i'm sure that's why i have like some bias

towards it but i was like i know that guy he crushed that role do you think he's the star i do think i think he's he's not only he's supposed role. Do you think he's the star? I do think. I think he's not only supposed to be. Right. I think he ended up being the star. Agreed. Yes. But I think that like people would say Holden is like Lionhunter or whatever.

I do you think that it's a little weird because and maybe this is on purpose. This is my question because of what you just said. He's like your dad. He's like that old school guy. He's got like the military ridiculous square hair and i feel like he would be the poster child for someone who doesn't believe that in all the analytics and i think that's why season one's important because he was that guy right he was like oh i've thought about this stuff right but he's not the genius he's not the wonder kid of it but he's but he buys into it and he listens to it so you think that is intentional that it's like this is the guy the skeptic who's been turned or do you think no

because he was never the skeptic that's right well that's what i'm saying it's like i feel like he should be the skeptic who was turned because he is that he embodies everything else that would be like this is fucking not this is stupid we look at evidence you know i think that's that's the director who got forced to retire early right even. Even though he was never turned. I just feel like Tench should have been that guy. But he was. Based on everything that he looks like. Right, right. Serious typically speaking.

Yes, it's just like it's miscast in a way because he is. But I think some people do this with Mindhunter, which is weird, where they think about it like a fictional show. It's not. It's a real show. Was Tench like those guys are real? I know the – okay. So then, yeah.

I knew that the murderers are real. The case too. So we're going to get into a little bit of spoilers here. So if you haven't listened, fast forward a bit or whatever. But people have done that a lot with the case where they're like, I'm just disappointed how it ended. Well, you can't fucking choose how the Atlanta child murder ended. That's how they ended. Yeah.

What are you like – Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I love about it so much. And I think because it's based on real things, it would annoy me if it was a fictional show. But since it's nonfiction, I think it's very cool how there's so much red tape

that just doesn't work. They can't get through it. How they were just racist cops in the 1980s who were just trying to fucking torpedo an investigation where black kids are being killed. All that stuff where I'd be like, come on. Or when the cop's getting in the car and he's trying to put the – He drops it and all that shit.

Yeah, he doesn't get the audio and all that stuff. But that's how it happened. So let me ask you this then. I didn't realize that – I knew the murderers were real. I thought the characters were fake i thought it was a little too like on the nose that the investigative cop who researches murderous tendencies has a son who is like that but that was real as far as i know it's all real because that to me was a little like this is a bit too like the parallels are i get it and it makes for an entertaining tv but it's a little silly that it's like when you when

you saw his home life coming through in his investigation, where he was kind of like, he's a 14 year old kid. He can't be held responsible for this. And I was like, oh yeah, that's because he's got his kid at home. Who's fucked up. But if he had to get it at home, it was fucked up. Then obviously it is what it is. But to me, that felt like a little bit too on the nose that we're going to have the, the, the work life life completely parallel the home life and you know all the same um like investigation okay no that's not real so that that to me felt a little like yeah you know i almost needed like one step removed because it was so like he goes to work and he has this conversation and then it's happening exactly at home but by the way but i thought it

was i don't know what i would do like even when he's at the golf course and the director of the fbi is like talking about when he was a judge yeah and he saw like kids with evil eyes and i wish i could just put him in jail for life then and he's kind of just sitting there like fuck yo what would you do bren this kid in this in this show is they um again spoilers turn off if you don't want it. He's like eight years old, let's say. Nine years old, something like that. He's hanging out with a bunch of 12-year-olds.

I can't gauge ages. That's why I always say I was seven. If I tell a story to my child that I'm seven. He could be driving a car. He's seven. He's like eight years old. He's playing with older boys. They smother a toddler to death.

And the boy says, put him on a cross so like the the the police find this kid like this toddler strapped to a cross and the parents i always got the idea that the parents were kind of like the mother was like oh he was he said put him on the cross because he wanted to bring him back to life. Like he wasn't doing any harm. He was just trying to help. They are very religious. So they're like – he's in church. That's how Jesus came back.

So wait. Who am I in this? You're the dad. The dead kid? No, the kid who like was – he was there and said put him on the cross. And he has all these weird tendencies. Like they find him. He's out in the yard.

He's out in the park. And there's a girl on the swings and he's just standing there staring at her all devilish. And they're talking about serial killers. And the whole show is about getting inside the mind of a killer and are these things nature or nurture? Are they learned? Can you find the signs?

Just close intention sign. Got it. So, and in it, the kid's also adopted. So at one point, the mom has a real dark moment where she's like the same me it's an adoption you know but she's also so adamantly like he doesn't he's fine he this was just a crazy mishap like he's fine i think i'd be like uh he's not fine yeah like they assign him a social worker and a psychiatrist and she's like we don't need any of this just come home thank you you need all that yeah i i i feel like if i can't the kid i'd return it

that's what i call up the adoption agency we got a lemon but if i had a kid who like killed somebody let's say like a crime of passion or a bad accident i'd probably like help you out and try to like bury the body if i had a kid that i thought was like this is gonna be a serial killer i think i'd be like we need to send you to like an institution or something right like i'll be there and i'll help you but we can't just ignore this one he'll end up killing us it was so that little kid's so fucking scary what's the famous murder that the everybody thinks the brother did it the little dominay yeah that kid and the parents covered it up yeah right yeah see that but i mean that's a good example i don't think uh but maybe they got him help and we don't just don't hear about that as much as long

as you like address it still as a parent i don't think you can just like turn a blind eye like if if your kid gets like drunk and like does something stupid it's like well i know you're not a fucking psychotic killer if i think that you're like you might stab me in the middle of the night it's really so preservation I'm talking about here. But boy, if you adopted a kid and that's one of them, that's fucked. That's a true lemon. It's like, boy, this backfired. It backfired big time.

Big time. That's one of the best scenes. And that's also one where I was like, oh, that's a great shot. When she's out back smoking cigs. Yeah. Basically saying how she's happy it's not her. Yeah. Dark.

Dark. Great, great season of TV, though. Also, by the way, real-life spoiler alerts for people, maybe even you. BTK is probably not going to get caught in this show. I know people are like, oh, I thought BTK was going to be season two. And then now they're like – They're teasing that like throughout the – BTK doesn't get caught until 2005.

I was going to say he – Unless there's like 40 seasons. They're in 1981. They've gone from like 76 to like 81. They're on five years... I actually know that. Unless they hit the fast forward button. Well, no, I think, because, I mean, he was

killing people then, and the FBI did know about him. I think it's... He'll be a tertiary character, and there might be like a couple close calls but btk himself you're not gonna have him you're probably not gonna get caught in this show uh do you think that that the guy they caught did all those murders yes me too everyone was like like like when the parents the other kids were like what about my case i'm like it's him they just don't have the evidence yeah but i i'm fitting the same profile i think about stuff like that a lot especially watching that show where there are so many things

where i'm like just watching i'm like just listen to holden he's so much smarter than you do what he's saying yeah and i understand that even today psychology is thought of as like a pseudoscience oh yeah like you know a profiler knows and like knows. And you go to like – it happens in Criminal Minds and I'm sure it happens in the real world where it's just like you go to a small town and cops are like, I don't listen to that mumbo jumbo. We need boots on the ground and some good hard police work. And it's like, no, I can predict the future by knowing someone's psychology. And I think when it's brand new in the 70s, of course I'm not going to listen to him. Right. And then I think about that too with those parents where I'm like, you got the guy.

But I would be frustrated if it's like my kid doesn't get brought up here. Right. I understand that. But if it was just like, listen, this dude was an awesome, prolific killer. He slipped up on a couple that we can pin to him. But your kids all fit this profile. I guess they didn't because it was like the adults one yeah but it's like they're all young kids into music around these times in

these places it's him i just don't have you know you do know like your guy got caught because again it didn't it never happened again right so it's like no they got no other like young black boys in those ages died they probably got them but you want you i think i i think i would still you want the the justice isn't there so to speak yeah yeah right you're think i i think i would still you want the the justice isn't there so to speak yeah yeah right you're like yes i know we have the guy i'm i'm happy about all that but i just wish my child's killer was the one as far as like the law is right in the court of law like he's going to jail for my kid i i realize about myself i'm one of those kids uh one of those guys who uh i'm totally fucking soft now that had a kid. Like watching those shows kind of does freak me out.

Yeah, I bet. It's weird because I used to kind of make sure. You got a kid. You can't look at those things. I'll still watch them. But it all runs through my head if it was like Shay and I'm like. It actually makes it not more enjoyable but more of like an experience when I'm watching it because I'm like. Like if my kid was strapped to a fucking cross.

You know, like I go fucking crazy over that shit now. But that show is, that's the best I've watched since. I thought the final episode was so good. Yeah. Because it was,

you can't choose how it ends. But I thought it did such a great job of how they paint the victory lap lines and shit like that. It was very cool. Oh,

like just everything that just the stress of trying to get him talking to the neighbors being like yeah he's out there burning stuff at two o'clock yeah yeah that like rugs and all that shit the music uh not really music but so that noise is kind of like yeah yeah the score is very good they were like there were a couple times i was like this music and the opening is very dexterous where it's like the the the tape looks like a rope and it's murder mixed with they're basically podcasting when they're doing

these interviews and stuff really. At one point when the director's like, I got you Manson that sounds to me like when you get a podcast guest. I got you Glenn Howerton. When? The 9th. For how long? People were going nuts. When I first tweeted about this a week or two ago, whatever it was, people were like

how awesome was Manson? I think that's why i didn't really like season one the the interview scenes are fine but at no point was that the highlight of the season i did think it was cool how much they they make the person look like the killer yeah but that's just no i don't know but it's yeah but i mean they did a kemper was like exactly like kemper and even manson at that point so kemper doesn't really look that much like Kemper. He's got a mustache, but Kemper himself is like a skinny guy. He's a skinny, tall dude. Really?

Yeah. The picture I saw of him, he was like towering over the sky. He's tall, but he's just not that big. Yeah. I mean, that guy's fat. And whatever they did with Son of Sam, that looked a little makeup-y to me, right? Yeah. He had like a mask on. Right.

I didn't know that Charles Manson never killed anybody. Yeah. I thought, did you know that prior? I did, yeah mask on. I didn't know that Charles Manson never killed anybody. I thought, did you know that prior? I did. Yeah, I didn't know that. I knew he had a cult, but I thought he still carried out some of the murders. Some crazy shit. Great show. Sick show. Totally fucked up. Next up. Alright, third

time trying. I'm not trying to be funny anymore. I need a real answer. There is period blood all over my fucking sheet. I saw his face. I knew something was coming. It'm not trying to be funny anymore. I need a real answer. There is period blood all over my fucking sheet. I saw his face. I knew something was coming. It's too late to wash him. I just got home from a long work. What do you do? You sleep

in the comfortable bed, throw a shit on the towel, throw a sheet over the uterine wall, or you sleep out on the couch. What? Three times. This guy, he's been sleeping on it for nights

just waiting for an answer, I guess. I mean, you don't sleep in the blood. I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you that much. You don't sleep in the blood. I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you that much. You don't sleep in that. Let's get tension holding on this guy. Yeah, for real.

What are you talking about? I mean, you get rid of the sheets, and hopefully you have some new sheets, and you put those on. Throw the bloody sheets away. Put on a new pair of sheets. If you don't have new sheets, you sleep on the couch that night. You get new sheets first thing don't have new sheets you sleep on the couch that

night you get new sheets first thing tomorrow i would also even sleep on the mattress if the couch is that bad i mean how bad could a couch be i don't know i'm just saying if i really want to sleep on the bed as long as the bloody sheets are gone it's not like it's not like seeping through the mattress i mean flip the mattress no matter what anyway yeah like i mean i've slept on there was a time where i had an apartment that was so small that it couldn't fit a couch in it. We had a chair and a love seat. I slept on a love seat all the time. But regardless of the – like you don't sleep on the bloody sheets.

This is insane. Sometimes I get so disappointed in our listeners and our callers. This has to be less than 1% of people would even consider sleeping. Or there's something he's not explaining about it. You just take the sheets off. Right. I mean, dude, talk about blood. How about this?

Would you wash them or would you throw them out? Would you ever wash them and keep them? No. What if it's like a spot? What if it's not like a massacre? I mean, a spot, sure not like a massacre i mean a spot sure fine yeah i think i'm probably throwing them out no matter what though but i'm yeah i'm probably just throwing them out there are some people out there i i i'm you're not trying to

be funny he needs a real answer real answer for you bro not trying to be funny real answer throw the bloody sheets out don't sleep sleep in blood. Real answer. Don't sleep in blood. Waking up like Dexter in the fucking storage unit. It's covered in blood. What was I supposed to do? I had to go to sleep, guys. I'm an infant. I didn't know what to do.

Fucking sleep on the bathroom floor, man. I don't know what. Don't sleep in blood. Don't sleep. Stay awake. That's my big... Buy a new apartment. Get out of there.

It's a goddamn crime scene. Shit. All right. Let's get into the last voicemail of the day before we get into our interview with Giannis. Our last voicemail is brought to you by Postmates. The Tuesday after Labor Day was the official start of indoors season. College football is here. Whatever.

NFL football is on the horizon. Play College football is here. Whatever. NFL football is on the horizon. Playoff baseball is here. The weather is turning. Hopefully we get some crummy weather, rain, gloom, darkness, cold weather. I want all of it. I got barstool, soft clothes on the way. Get your slippers out. Get your robes out.

Keep your sweatpants on and get everything you need delivered to your house. I've been doing that sneakers countdown. I posted a new pair of sneakers every day on Kicks in the Office. I missed yesterday because I didn't wear any sneakers. Didn't leave the house. I just wore slippers all fucking day long. I got all my meals delivered. I've been ordering the spicy nuggets from Wendy's.

Those should just be permanent. I understand the appeal. Popeyes is doing it, and it's back. The McRib and stupid things like that throughout history. Just make spicy nuggets all the time. I feel like that's a better business idea. I would guess you're right. Right.

But it's almost like, in your terms, sneakers. Yeah, the supply and demand. They're hot in the streets. Like, I got Yeezys. Yeah. Well, if Yeezys sells at Foot Lockers, then what do you care anymore? But they always taste good. If Yeezys, if I ate Yeezys and they were delicious, I'd want them all the time.

No one's ever like, oh, you got them nuggets. Like, well, I guess they are. Yeah, they are. They definitely are. All right, I'm sold. I came back around on it. Either way, you can get your regular nuggets delivered, your spicy nuggets delivered. You can get groceries delivered.

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KFC, Fight, BC. Got a hypothetical. Would you rather have the ability to go invisible, but when you go invisible, you have to close your eyes, or be able to fly. But you can only fly as long as you can hold your breath. I like this. So what's the point of going invisible if you can't be seeing things?

Oh, no. I mean, no, but I'm saying that's the idea behind it. This guy, this is for the creeps out there who are like, I'd be invisible and I'd go in the girls locker room. But, oh, I can't see anything, so what's the point? And, yeah, you can fly, but only for – how long can you hold your breath? Am I exerting – does flying take energy from me? No. Let's say it's about the exact same exertion as sitting in a podcast studio.

And how fast am I flying? As fast as I walk? Let's say – As fast as I sprint sprint 15 miles an hour like like a high uh you know treadmill turned high but how long can you hold your breath one two three go i feel like i'm terrible at this i feel like i was never that great to begin with and i'm sure my lung capacity has completely diminished when i was a kid and we'd be in the pool i would always be the guy who cheats like everyone let's hold their breath as much as they can i would pop

up i'd come back down everyone pop up and i'd do like another minute and everyone'd be like what the fuck man i'm like i'm cheating motherfucker a minute is a long time yeah it's probably more like 20 seconds that's the other thing about holding your breath is you're like what am i at six minutes what about eight eight or nine minutes It's like it's been 32 seconds, dude. Just give me a nod. Are you hurting right now? Yeah. Yeah.

35. 35 seconds. That's – I was like – I was getting really hot. I didn't go longer, but yeah, that was – Not enjoyable. No. I was thinking about this the other day.

It's kind of crazy. Like we have not evolved much when it comes to oxygen you need oxygen all the fucking time like if you lose your oxygen for a very brief period of time your body is fucked you know it feels like by now we'd have like we'd have figured out breathing a little better i think we are completely relying on oxygen i figured out how to get survive like getting choked wait what like like i always see that in movies when someone's getting like strangled uh-huh i'm like why don't you pretend you're dead already yeah yeah that works that i i would they'd have my hands on my neck for like

two seconds i'd be like i'm dead i think i would do like the i would go like that i'm like dude just pretend you're dead yeah i pretend you're dead pretend to enjoy it these are the ways to get around death and other horrible things you just like start jerking off like bro i've been watching pornhub my whole life if you think this is gonna kill me you don't know me what the hell then you get up that's the key if you're ever getting strangled that jerk off jerk off and then poke him in the eye he'll survive the strangulation every single time you don't strangle somebody though, though, they don't just die when they pass out. They convulse. Yeah, you have to continue to choke the life out of them.

I think it was Da Vinci Code where the guy fakes it. He fakes shaking and shit. Yeah, he shakes it. The killer, who's killed people before, knows what it's like when they die. You've got to foam with the mouth, get some spit going, and it falls out. That guy's dead, dead. And you've got to hope they don't break your neck at the end because that seems to be what secret agents do.

Someone really knows how to kill you. I feel like it's not even bones, it's just the trachea. They just crush that whole... Anyway, back to the superhero thing. Flying at short bursts. So you can fly for 35 seconds. What does that really get you? How far can you fly?

I mean, can I land and then just do it again? Yeah, I guess it's like the Hulk. He can jump really far, right? That's kind of what it would be like. Land again. Land again. So I guess it would almost be like, you know, you're just kind of bouncing through the city.

But that's, like, good for commuting, and that's it. If I'm walking somewhere with you and i can't be like all right i'm gonna fly there i'll see you in fucking 20 minutes when you get there with a cab you know invisibility um with your eyes closed i mean it's basically just napping yeah like can i can i nap while invisible and but then i think about that like at work i'll just go home yeah it's like oh you can't see me at work well it doesn't matter yeah i'll just fly home also it's not like you could even use it at work because it would just be like yeah you're gone it's not like you can be all right i'm gonna be invisible at work and i'm gonna like maybe in high school where is he he's not at work it's like uh i was invisible

right the i think high school or college maybe it would be helpful there if you're in a bar and like your ex shows up or something like that, close your eyes, disappear. I'm gone. I'm out of here. That would be cool. That's basically the real value. If someone,

if you need to disappear quickly for some reason, the police, an ex, a boss in a way, like, yeah, let's say you sneak out to lunch and the boss comes in, close your eyes.

You're invisible. And then you can run back to work. I think that's probably more useful than short bursts of flying, but short bursts of flying is cool. think i take the flying yeah just for the sheer like fun of it yeah you just show people and i always feel like you could win like bar bets too you know i bet you i can fly but you can't put money put 200 on the table you go do baby talk i'm gonna do flying you might be able to use it for like sports you can dunk the ball that's true but i also feel like you get banned if there was mutants i feel like do you think they would ban you from

sports yeah it'd be like the mnba yeah wmba the mba and the mnba but the first guy to like really control it like just just like do a half jump so you are dunking we don't like you're flying that'd be pretty cool yeah i think i think you could do that yeah fly at low altitude or like you rob home runs that'd be pretty cool that would be pretty flying is awesome Yeah, I think you could do that. You could fly at low altitude. Or like your Rob Holm runs. That'd be pretty cool. That would be pretty cool. Flying is awesome. All right.

Giannis Pappas, he's awesome too. New, I wouldn't say new comedian, veteran of the game, but popping off right now. New special that he's in the works with Andrew Schultz. And we came across him on Instagram and heard his name popping up. He's got a show with Chris DiStefano, History Hyenas, and a lot of funny clips out there on social right now. Jumped out at me in fights right away.

So that's probably a bad sign for him. Whenever we're like, yo, you really click with me and John. We had to come in. That means things are, you're fucked. So Giannis Pappas on KC Radio. Let's get into it. And now we roll right into our boy Giannis Pappas. Yeah, man.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming through. How you doing? I was just sitting here thinking about how weird that is to walk in in the middle of something that you have

no idea what's going on and you guys are like deep passionately into it and I just felt like it was a real awkward moment. Yeah, I bet. I bet. I was like,

I don't know what to do with my face. I don't know how to sit. I don't know what they're talking about. I feel like I just woke up out of a coma or something. I'm like, where am I?

Who are these people what's going on with billionaires and who are they fucking I don't know what to do with my face is that great that's really important you gotta know what to do with your face in all these situations the microphone becomes almost toxic I can see you kind of being like

I don't want you to hear me breathe don't even know I'm in this fucking room have you ever been in that situation where you don't know what to do with your face like you don't know whether to smile i i i feel that all the time with the shit that we do because we are always on camera but not like performing and i'm like am i i probably look weird right now you know like while you're talking what am i supposed to be doing it is there's somebody looking at me it's just yeah it's a strange era where like i can't i can count i can't even count on both my hands how many people i've met while we're on camera right the first time i'm

meeting people is like hey man nice to meet you so who are you and like nah let's have people watch we're performing this is a show right now yeah yeah like we had that the other day with like camille came in we had like five different people videoing it where she had her vloggers and they were like barstool people doing it and a devil came in on the instagram it's like me and my friend are just talking right now right we is like i guess you want to see all this but it is like yeah i was just talking everyone's almost like their own producer director writer for better or worse yeah it's cool but then sometimes it's like oh jesus christ everybody's an influencer or whatever but i wanted to have you in because i feel like I've just heard your name.

And through the guys that I – we kind of got into the comedy realm more so the last year or 18 months. And then so you start to – I know Schultz and I know DiStefano. And if those guys mention a name to me, I know it's the real deal. And so I just started to see your name more and more. And then like perfect timing with Schultz and then your special coming out. Yeah. It all just kind of like very serendipitous. So you got the – is the special out right now?

No, that's what everyone keeps asking. Yeah. I'm just following my Fuhrer Schultz on how he tells me to do it. I'm like, should I put the whole thing out? What should I tell these people? It's a good fucking Fuhrer to follow. He's like, just put it out in two minutes. 14 seconds at a time.

This needs to be 40 seconds for Instagram, two minutes for YouTube. Don't ask questions. Keep it flagrant. I mean, it's a good blueprint, though. There's a few guys to follow. He's definitely one of them. You know, it's funny because when I first – not when I first started, but the first thing I had hit for me was characters on YouTube,

and I started selling tickets from that. That was 2011, and I felt like I was early to the party. But I remember when I had a weekend sold out at Caroline's from characters, and Chris D'Elia at that time was on like a sitcom Whitney and he had billboards up and Times Square

and like the promo machine behind him and at that time he couldn't even pull the curtain back so he was only like half sold and that's just

that's when it was it was like hitting me I was like the world is changing like I made a video in my living room for nothing and my sister

and he's like got this huge marketing machine. Yeah, it was like CBS behind him. And it doesn't translate. We just had Whitney Cummings on. And like I was thinking if there was a Whitney Cummings and Chris D'Elia show out right now, I think it would be like the fucking biggest news ever. And it was, you know, I think a very brief, very shortly lived show. And you're right. I mean that probably was right around the cusp of where it's like that doesn't really matter anymore.

It's like good for you and I'm sure maybe the paycheck was there or whatever. But it doesn't really mean anything. Like getting directly to the people and proving that is really where it's all about. People are on the internet. That's where everyone is. It's like the phone – you look at a TV now. The TV just looks like a big iPad. You're like if I can't maneuver what I want, I not gonna talk to a fucking commercial are you crazy all right you tell me what i'm gonna watch now at what time get the fuck out of here i think

tvs are basically now they're just something so you don't feel weird looking at your phone in a dark room like that's like like what i do is i get home i just turn my tv on and it's just background noise i'm just looking at my phone. It's a big light. It's a big lamp. A moving lamp. Because it does. I've had a roommate come home and he's like, what are you doing, man?

So if I hadn't turned the TV on yet, I'm like, I get how this looks. I understand. But I'm just doing what it takes. It's just a smaller version. New York One isn't on TV right now. I don't even go for new channels. TV's on? Okay, bam, here we go. Twitter time.

That's all the TV's good for is to just make you look a little less weird. What does it do with your face? It'd just be like a piece of furniture, like a bookcase. Even now, there's no books on bookcases. That's officially a bookcase, but now there's not one fucking book on it. It's just a fucking billboard right now. Whatever, dude. It's a screen.

It works. So you change and Schultz is the Fuhrer. So I'm putting it up in clips and just like little clips as per he told me. And then when I exhaust all those, I'll put it up as it is. Was that the one I saw of you recently, which is – I mean it really, really speaks to me. I'm guessing it's from the snoring. Yeah, that's from it. I mean, that was unbelievable.

I'm a great breather otherwise. Have you ever thought? It's weird, man. It doesn't make any sense. What about being unconscious makes us feel like struggling to live? Yeah. It seems like something evolutionary. We should figure that out. If I go to sleep, I might fucking die. I might stop breathing. Let's figure that out, body.

You're laying down, too. It's not like only when you get into that position. As long as I'm conscious, I'm good. But have you done the sleep test and stuff like that? No, I'm too scared to, man. Don't do it. Because my buddy Sal, you guys know Sal Valcano? I know the name.

He has the worst sleep apnea. He has to travel with like a whole machine and put it on. He went and found out and he's like, yeah, you haven't had a good night's sleep. You haven't actually had REM sleep in like 25 years. So you haven't really been asleep forever until he had – so I'm just – I don't want to wear that mask. I feel like I'd rather just like die in my sleep. I think I want to die. I think I'd rather die.

What does he do if he's got a girl or a family? He's about to get married, but I always wondered, as part of the reason why he's just been one girl,

it's like, hey, it's just too much to explain. If you get a girl to buy into this, you lock that down. Yeah,

she's the girl and she is great. It's actually the very last time I went to a doctor was the time I got sent to do a sleep test. I went to, it was like a family friend physician. I've had it. It's actually the very last time I went to a doctor was the time I got sent to do a sleep test. I went to, it was like a family friend physician.

I was probably 20 or whatever. And he was like, in passing, I was like, God damn, my girlfriend always yells at me how much I snore. He's a snorer. It's really bad. I'm like a really, really bad snorer.

And when I said that, you would have thought I told him my T-cell was down or something like that. He's like, what are you telling me you snored? And I was like, yeah, man. Like I snore. Dr. Juzar, I snore all the time. Oh, boy. This is not good.

And he's like sends me for a test. I go. It was like the whole thing. I had like the whole stuff like attached to the head. They wake you up at 6 a.m. and kick you the fuck out, which I thought was bullshit. Like I'm getting a sleep test. Let me sleep. Let me get a full night 6 a.m. and kick you the fuck out, which I thought was bullshit. I'm getting a sleep test. Let me sleep. We get a full night's sleep.

And then on the call, only two days later, they're like, yeah, no, you just snore. I was like, yeah, I figured. They're like, yeah, seven grand. Seven grand to find out you're just a snorer. You're like, I already knew that. So they charge you seven grand to just fucking spend the night in their little room. Spend the night and just go, yeah, you're good. You just snore a lot.

You're like, yo, I could have done this at a Hojo's and have a friend watch me. And they're like, yo, was I breathing the whole night? For like 20 bucks. Charged me seven grand to watch me sleep. That's brutal. That was honest to God. At that point, I'm done with doctors. Insurance didn't cover that?

No. I had to pay. It was all because it was fucking... Elective or whatever? At the time, I was on my parents' plan. Barstool, we didn't have insurance for that. So maybe they had the plan. I mean, my dad did insurance.

I'm sure I had a good plan. But yeah, it was just like, bam, here you go. Now I'm definitely not doing it. Yeah, fuck that. I got Obamacare. I had to take a loan out from my mom. I was like, can you cover me for this? I'll slowly get you back.

I can't pay $700 a month. I can't pay $7,000 right now. The other clip I thought was great, I just watched this last night, the two types of people in this world. It's handy, capable, conservatives, and overeducated useless people. That's it.

It's kind of true, right? I mean, I'm the most overeducated useless person in the world. Me too. I don't even know if it necessarily falls into liberal or conservative or political, but even my father can fucking rig up the lights in this place and he can fix the toilet when it's fucking overflowing. And he built like a staircase in our uh connecting floors in our apartments crazy yeah and i'm like you know i

can't change the light bulb usually those guys you got to admit they lean right though yeah you need a staircase over here also how about fucking hillary huh i mean this bitch is fucking good for the country i'll tell you that right now. You know, I don't got, my son wants to be transgender, and I'm fucking fine with that. You know, I mean, you want to chop your dick off, that's good with me, you know? This fucking Trump guy's full of shit, I'll tell you that right now.

We don't need a wall. We need more fucking Mexicans in here. Usually they go right. Usually it's a little different than that. That sounds a little different. No, it's so true. Generally, it seems like those are the two groups. Yeah, it's like, and the left wing are just like, always like, study.

Something studies. Yeah. Like, what did you major in? Something studies. Or like English. You're like, really? You majored in the language you learned at four years old. Right here, bitch.

Yeah, you know where the word the goes. That's your fucking – that's your – I will put your asterisk, which is going to spell your. That is what my degree got me. That's how we're going to be China right there, fucking English majors. The grammar police out here. I was going to say, we actually get questions a lot like that where it's like – we got one yesterday. You get sent back to prehistoric times and if you you get you get you you everything

you have now yeah will you be successful there like you have all your brains you have all your knowledge of everything how the world works it's not even like most of the time the question is phrased as like could you take over the world and i I'm like, uh, no. No. They were like, you have an iPhone. Are they misspelling your down there? I'm like, I don't know. Well, I'm just going to look at Twitter. I don't fucking know.

I'm not going to succeed at all. Be the same mediocre person I am now. I can tell you buzzwords, and that's it. I can't tell you how to do anything or what anything happens. Would I have anything with me in the travel back in time, or would I just show up in cargo shorts? Sometimes they say iPhone fully charged, one charge. But they don't have Wi-Fi back then, right? They don't have internet.

Just throw it at someone? What do I do? The only thing I think is you can maybe convince people you're a god if you have the flashing light from your hand. And then maybe you have power. Otherwise, when it comes time to build a shelter and I'm dead in the cold, it's fucking over. Yeah, because you know what's funny about that? You convince them you were a god for however long your battery lasts, and then when they tell their friends,

you've got to meet the god, and then you come and you're like, I know how to break dance. Does that? You're just out of shit. You're just the fucking guy for the future is out of shit. You're like, all right. That's what I would say. I would just tell them plots of movies and be like, I'm like – just make it all like God.

Tell the Avengers, but like the flying God and the evil Thanos. They're a great storyteller. That's really it. God spoke to me on the mountain and told me these things. Listen to the Avengers. I would just go with their shit. I wouldn't want to disrupt because like when my power died on my phone, I wouldn't want to tell them like, like oh in the future we found out about dinosaurs and like your religion is bullshit and stuff right right this is all crockery they'll kill you for that what do you mean our religion is bullshit

you're a big history guy right i mean obviously that's you and uh di stefano we're basically just read wikipedia and then do that turn on the microphones right which is the way to do it man uh but i do like it how long have you been doing that for? we've been doing it a year a little over a year I thought it was longer than that yeah we just got our shirts we started to get shirts

cracked open and cleaned out that's when you want to bang somebody you want to crack them open and clean them out I saw the super cut clip that you put out of that that was a special one that was good so I was watching Schultz's Instagram, and him and DeStefano were backstage

talking about how you've been passing out recently. I thought you guys would have a net behind me right now. Yeah, I mean... He's been called the Yanni Nets. He said you guys were going to hire an intern to stand behind you and catch you. I mean, is this a problem? Is this because you're not getting enough sleep at night?

It's the sleep apnea, man. It all comes full circle. Imagine that's what it is. It could be that. Like maybe I'm not in my full sleep and then that's why my blood pressure's dropping. No, I think I just got a lot of shit going on. I hope.

I hope it's not sleep. But yeah, in Providence, I had a whole weekend and I did a show in Connecticut in Fairfield, then I drove to Providence the next day, and I got on stage for a show, and I felt like, just like my blood pressure dropped. I was like, oh shit,

I feel like I'm going to faint. And then I sat down, because I felt a little weak on stage before, and then like, if it's that bad, I'll sit down. I'll just do the show sitting down. Nobody knows, right? But I sat down,

and I sat down, and I felt like... Like on the stool? On the stool. I sat down, I was like, Like on the stool? On the stool. I sat down and I was like, what's up, guys? All I said was like, how's everybody doing? I think I did 40 seconds. And I went... I was like, can we bring the host back up?

I was in such a panic, I couldn't even remember the host's name. I'm like, bring host guy up. And then I just got off stage and I was like, someone give me a chicken finger. I tried to eat a chicken finger. I tried to drink water, but it wasn't working. And it's not like – is it a nerves thing? You've been on stage since, like you said, 2011 or whatever.

I think it was just my body just giving out. I think I was tired, emotionally tired. So this happened once? This happened to this level once. Yeah. I mean I've had – Maybe it's not like you're dropping like flies every fucking night. Yeah, of course.

Decepticon was like, yeah, he's fucking – yeah. Johnny Nets. Yeah. I mean we – But it's bad to have a whole weekend canceled. Yeah, that, no. Yeah, of course. Decepticon was like, yeah, he's fucking, yeah. Yanni Nets. Yeah. But it's bad to have a whole weekend canceled. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. It's not great.

I was like, because the club owner called me and he was like, I was like, hey, I should be good for tonight. And I could just tell he didn't even want to deal with it. He was like,

hey man, just go get well and we'll bring you back in the fall. We can't have that happen again. Yeah. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed.

He's like, no man, you did the right thing. Even though he's probably like moving the phone going fucking fuck it you know anxiety attack on stage act like a professional i'm glad you're okay fucking ruined my weekend you know so but we've been uh dabbling in like the live show world a little bit and um i just sweat profusely i just can't stop sweating and I'm really like not that nervous yeah just can't stop sweating that's nerves though

we're just yeah no it definitely is but it's like it's not like I'm shaking or my heart's racing it's like we're having our normal conversation and I'm just like

oh my god it just won't fucking stop yeah well how long have you been doing it performing doing that I mean we've we've been doing

we've done probably five live shows total in our lives and this is like we've done one a month for three months I think that's appropriate yeah I mean it's not I mean, we've done probably five live shows total in our lives, and we've done one a month for three months. I think that's appropriate. Yeah, I mean, he's fucking sitting there fine. You're an asshole.

Sociopath. Yeah, he doesn't feel anything. He doesn't. He really doesn't. He doesn't feel anything. Somebody can't sleep next to him, he'll snore. He doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. I always say about this story, I'm always like, look, hit me with a pill,

do whatever you want. I feel bad about it. Do you feel bad about it? I'm so insecure about it. That's what I mean. There's no hitting with a pillow. I could hit you with a fucking baseball bat. You're going to keep snoring, man.

If you want to wake me up, if you want to send me to a couch, I tell my girlfriend, do whatever the fuck you want. I feel awful about what's happening to you, but I can't stop it. That is like telling your girlfriend, just wake up the black bear and get it out of the cave. Especially your dead body weight. Your little girlfriend trying to maneuver you? Get the fuck out of here. Slap me in the face. John, I've done it before.

If he has any drinks in him, you could physically beat the shit out of this bag of shit. It's not moving. It's not moving. It's crazy. Did he say, that was part of my joke too, is like there's no cure. He just said, oh, you're a snorer?

There's no way to stop you from sounding like a car that won't start every night? I didn't push. He just goes, oh, you're a snorer. That's it. I didn't even talk to my doctor. I was done with him after I heard about the $7,000 check. It was just the people from the lab techs. And they're like, yeah, you snore.

And I was like, I wasn't going to ask them. I think there are surgeries you can have. But like, I don't know. That kind of scares me. They like snip something in your throat. You don't need to be chopping anything in your throat. You got to admit, they can do a lot of things. They can open your arteries back up.

They can repair your heart. Through your fucking groin. Yeah yeah they go through your groin they can they can make your penis into a vagina but you just like hey you snore and then you're like seven grand that's it i can't help you it's like what they have like those mouth guard everything like i'm not putting my mouth to sleep but even still a mouth guard like cure it yeah like you just jam this plastic thing in uh how about no do something to stop it. How about no? Yeah. No, and then the giant sleep avenue machine really is not an option.

But that's... If I got it, I wouldn't use it. Yeah. It's like having a retainer. I'm like, I'm going to put this thing in every night. Get the fuck out of here. That's bad. So how did you end up linking up with DeStefano and those guys?

Well, DeStefano... Me and DeStefano... I knew him... I've known him what? I think I met him when he first started. So I think he actually opened for me. You're from New York? From New York, yeah, from Brooklyn.

So we kind of bonded on that, just being from New York. And he was super funny, super fast, and he moved super quick. And then actually me and him, where we really bonded was he was dating Carly Aquilino, who was on Girl Code. And I was dating Jesse May Peluso and they were on Girl Code. Look at you guys. A little Girl Code tag team here. And then they became really good friends, Jesse May and Carly.

So me and Chris, we knew each other but we became even better friends. And then Jesse May broke up with me as her career went up. And then Carly broke up with him when her career went up. So we just started commiserating because we were like the two dumped kids who have lesser careers than our girlfriends. That was the beginning of a beautiful thing.

That was such a brutal – because Girl Code was such a hit back then. What's Girl Code? It was an MTV show. It was like – they did Guy Code and Girl Code. Okay, okay. Guy Code I remember doing. Guy Code was on MTV too and then Girl Code was on the actual MTV

and so more people just saw it. So Girl Code was bigger than Guy Code and they got pretty big with a certain demographic or whatever. It's tough. I don't know if I could date a female comedian. If you do, you just want to

keep her down. Yeah. It sounds just horribly insecure if I could date like a female comedian. If you do, you just want to keep her down. Yeah. And it sounds just horribly insecure and pretty lame, but it's just like, I don't want her to be funnier than me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's worth a point, especially,

I don't even want to date a girl who's like got funny jokes when she's hanging out, let alone like she's on TV and more successful than me in the career I'm trying to do. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. No, I can't have that. Yeah. I learned my lesson the hard way. You're right. Date boring girls, man. How'd you get over that?

Yeah, my buddy Bobby Kelly says, never date anyone with a headshot. Yeah, it's a good plan. It's a good plan. Yeah, how do you get over that, though? So you and Chris are like, I'm picturing you guys, like, you know, you're sitting around in your underwear, just sitting on the couch, like, oh, girlfriends are funnier than us, and we're all alone now. Well, yeah, and it was rough, because it was like they girl code was on all the time you remember

you couldn't escape it couldn't escape it it was like on all the time and we had so many friends in common and stuff so i had to like dude breaking up in this era it's impossible it's like you cannot get away yeah worse you can't i mean the amount like the the new person you're with can talk to the old person you're with and everybody's seeing each other and no there's no way to break away you can follow you it's nuts no the only way is to like yeah like move to a country that doesn't have wi-fi or the internet honestly because someone's gonna tag a photo and so like i had to unfriend her her her friends because i was like heartbroken right with me so i unfriended people who were friends with her a lot right with me so i unfriended people

who were friends with her a lot of innocent people got fucking defriended there's a lot of collateral damage yeah there's a lot of collateral damage and and it probably is perceived as like petty or some shit it's like oh i thought we were cool it's like we were but i i can't do this i i got a broken you i i feel like if you break up with the modern era you need a new identity like you like you need the the walter white vacuum repair man give me like a new passport new fucking new place to live otherwise you're never gonna escape it yeah like like like my dad broke up with people like he had to move he had to move his street over he's gone it was it never never see you again i also stopped going to that bar and you're good the same thing happens with cheating when people are like dude in the 90s like they made r&b songs

about how like you left someone's phone number in your pocket. You know how easy it is to not get caught cheating? That's the only thing you have to worry about? Like, okay, throw away this fucking napkin with lipstick on it. Boom. I'm good. They say, where were you tonight? And you just say somewhere else.

You just say a different place. Who were you with? Giannis. Okay. That's it. There's no fucking, well, I saw a video of you here and a timestamp of a tweet there and all that shit. Yeah, she's like, prove it. You're like, no, you prove it.

I was with them. Innocent until proven guilty. I think that way about murders, too. It's like back in the day, in order to get caught for murder, you had to have someone see the murder. And it had to be someone who was of good standing, wouldn't lie. Because you could still go, he saw it. It didn't happen. Yeah, it wasn't me.

That's a lie. No, I saw him. I didn't see him. Right. Like, now you it didn't happen nah yeah it wasn't me that's a lie nah I saw him I didn't see him right like now you cannot if you're in the room you're going to get caught right

like they could I mean like somehow there's like some like a follicle of fiber comes off like they know who you are

that's CSI shit man you can't murder anybody now I feel like but I could you murder like a homeless person right now and get away with it no

you don't think so you think there's just the cameras everywhere like if I went so? No. You think there's just cameras everywhere? Like if I went into the park and killed somebody, there's just like those 9-11 cameras everywhere? Yeah, and just like a fiber or something like that. But I'm not in the system. My fiber's not going to do anything, is it? The only way you might get away with it is because you're white. Yeah.

So they may not look for you at all. They may be like, you know what? This is another senseless homeless on homeless killing. Plenty of those. If you've got a dad you can refer to as father in the third person you could get away with murder if you're like i want to introduce you to my father you could maybe get murder whoever you want i was thinking about that i was watching uh mindhunter and they have in the new season they're like trying to catch the atlanta child murders which i don't even know about that. I don't know. Someone killed 29 children

in Atlanta. When? 81. Or 79 to 81. But they're like trying to catch him and they're just like trying to guess where he would throw the body. And they just have cops stationed around the lakes like, alright. Waiting for it? Like every night. Damn it, he didn't come by.

If he throws the body tonight, follow the splash. That's the only way they can catch somebody. Now it's like, you know, just exactly what you said. Find a follicle, find this. He has to hope we fucking are sitting at the bridge he's going to throw the body at. He murders while we're watching. We have to hope he goes, hey, hey, come over

here, I'm going to murder this person. And that's like 1981. Imagine like, you know, 1750. You can just kill whoever the fuck you want. Smash you with a rock in the head and that's it. They're so good at catching people now. They've caught Jack the Ripper now. They've figured out who he is now. It's nuts.

That is some crazy shit. You can't get away with anything, man. You can't. I start thinking about the murder stuff and it gets dark quick. Just like how I would do it and how I would get rid of the body like you went to a different place there for myself he's in there going you know what i like a challenge

i would be bad at it i'm not modern science i'll figure it out make it look like a fucking accident so uh schultz is the producer of the new show and you you kind of mentioned how he's talking about the strategy behind putting it out and whatnot. Is that what that entails though? The material and all that shit is your own. Because I was just interested in that whole process of produced by and it's just like, oh, that fucking guy? It actually speaks to the era a lot, my story. Because I've been around a while.

I'm a little older than those guys. So I started a little before Schultz and Chrisris and i had like the success of the characters and stuff so you know i know the comics you know we're all like even those guys are a little younger you know we're we grew up in the same kind of era where the internet was a thing i feel like age doesn't even really matter in a lot of regards it's like we're all covering the same cloth you guys are all covering the same cloth and doing the same thing yeah so um but just as far as like the new world, like the digital world. Like I was at the beginning of like, hey, you do it this way and those guys are right now in the peak of it like this all is, like Barstool and everything. And so Burr – Bill Burr is producing a couple specials on Comedy Central.

So he wanted to produce mine. So I was going to do it that way. I was going to – he did Jessica Kearsons. He did Ian Edwards. He did Paul Verzies. And so he was going to produce mine. So I was going to do it that way. You know, I was going to, he did Jessica Kearsons. He did Ian Edwards. He did Paul Verzies. And so he was going to produce mine. And I was like, you know what? I don't want to wait for that.

Like, I just don't. And then I saw like Chris's come out. I saw Paul's come out. And like, they did okay. But then like, you can't find them after that. You got to go to like Comedy Central's app. And you just can't find them. They're there.

They air once and they disappear. And not a lot of, it doesn't get a lot of eyeballs on it. All the stuff we're talking about. So I just had dinner with Schultz one night, and I told him that, and I was like, but you know what, I kind of just want to do it and put it out. And he was like, let me do it. Let me produce it.

And I was like, all right. And we thought of the concept there. It's like, hey, let's do it like, you know, I'm at the club trying to shoot something. You come through, and you just decide to shoot it, so it's like impromptu, like, all i'm i'm at the club trying to shoot something you come through and and you just decide to shoot it so it's like impromptu like all right i'm gonna shoot my special tonight and so we just did it uh at new york comedy club and you know it was his production team and he produced it directed it it looks real cool looks real gritty and um that's what it was blowing the light so it's like i'm going long right on the side yeah yeah i mean the

the trailer for it's very cool yeah so I just decided to do it that way. I was like, let's do it this way. It's so much smarter to do the digital approach. Even Burr said it. He was like, your time is now to do this special. The material is ready. Just do it. Don't worry about that. Even the fact that you could have gone

the Bill Burr route has got to be pretty cool. I actually would be nervous to turn it down. Everything you said made sense, but I'd be like, I can't take it to Bill Burr route has got to be a pretty like pretty cool. I actually would be nervous to turn it down. Everything you said made sense, but I'd be like I can't take over Bill Burr. I just wanted to speak to him first because he said he wanted to produce a special. I spoke to him first and he was even like,

because even he gets it. He was even saying his special's coming out on the 10th but also Chappelle's and The Degenerates. Now it's like there's so many specials the marketing kind of gets lost, whereas if you put it up on YouTube, people just find it organically and it keeps going. To be honest with you,

he reposted the trailer on his Instagram. I think in this era, it's crazy to say, that's better than him producing it on Comedy Central. Thousand percent. And I got thousands of followers just from him posting it on his gram. I think it's so much more like that's a true cosign from that guy

to put it on his shit. You know he physically did it. That's way more valuable. It's wild to say though. If you're my age, like I'm over 40, so I remember the world where it's like, TV, you got to get a shot.

It almost feels like that now. You're talking about an era like hey guy we got a sitcom for you you know it's gonna be great two cameras you know he's a good guy he's a struggle it's so fucking like over it's hard to like even if it's hard to

shift your mind to like where TV is just like a thing on the wall now like it still feels so important but if Jerry Seinfeld was like hey I want to have a meeting important but if jerry was like hey i want to have a meeting with you and you guys were like hey you want to come do this i'm gonna be like jerry you know well i don't know about that bro you should maybe go talk to that's why my career that's my career is where it is let me go hang out with these guys because imagine that imagine imagine if i was like uh what's up, man?

You're like, well, I just turned down Seinfeld to come here. You guys would go, sorry, you're stupid. You dumb fucking asshole. Say yes to Seinfeld, man. Maybe that was a bad example. No, but I do get the point. I just could have thought of a better example. Yeah.

If God came down and said, hey, look, man, I got a deal for you to guarantee get into heaven and the virgin stings the muslims they're right about that but you got to meet with me first i'm like nah dude i gotta go to barstool because we're living in a new world how many instagram followers you have god i don't even see you on ig dude you're not even active okay you haven't even see you on IG, dude. You're not even active, okay? You haven't even updated in days. Yeah, it was stupid. So what else? You got the special. You got the history hyenas with the Stefano.

Yeah. And then, and so you're still, you've just been like. And I'm passing out on stage. And passing out on stage, man. Just got married a little while ago. Six months ago. Congratulations. Thanks, man.

How's that? It's good. It's going good. How long were you with her before marrying? Five years. All right. So you knew what you were getting into. I knew what I was getting into. She's a little younger than me. She's 14? It's good. It's going good. How long were you with her before marrying her? Five years. All right. So you knew what you were getting into? I knew what I was getting into.

She's a little younger than me. She's 14 years younger than me. Smart. I thought you were about to say she's 14. Yeah, you guys are young. Or that. She's 14. She's 26.

Let me handle that. I'll do that, man. No, that's, I think, brilliant on both ends to wait a little longer, 40, over 40, and get someone who's a little bit younger. Yeah. Very smart guy. Yeah. That is – She's mature.

I don't know what – where it changed because I feel like – is your dad older than your mom? No. All right. Well, we'll cut that. I feel like most – I feel like guys were usually older, at least like a little bit. Yeah, like my parents were the weird ones. Right. And then that stopped somewhere along the line, and I feel like everybody was settling down with people their own age, and I just don't think that's a recipe for success.

I think having biological clocks and just the way we're wired and all that kind of shit, I think having a girl like a little bit younger can go a long way. I agree with you because men mature later, you know? Right. We kind of like want to settle down later. You sow your wild oats and all that shit.

That's all true and real. Yeah, and they mature quicker. Right. And that's the politically correct way to say it. There you go. It's got nothing to do

with looks or money, looks, none of that shit. Yeah, it's the pure world we live in where everyone's looking deep into each other's souls and making decisions

based on if this guy is a good person. Is he really going to be a good father? That's all that matters. Money doesn't. Yeah, money doesn't matter. I like how women pretend

like we're the only dirtbags, right? Oh, they're just as grimy. They just had it a little bit better. You remember Donald Sterling? What was Sterling? Yeah, the girl he was banging was like five years old oh they're just as grimy they just had it a little bit better you remember Donald Sterling what was Sterling yeah the girl he was banging

was like five years old and she was hot as hell and whatever and you're like yeah what about her

nobody's ever mad at her they're never mad at her yeah that was when she was like I'm his silly rabbit remember that like Tiger Woods

nobody's mad at the nanny nobody's mad at the nanny nobody's going like why he's married he got kids what are you how come the women

are always like he's a slut I mean I I would imagine if you're a nanny and you're staring down the barrel of Tiger Woods

the billionaire the reason I'm not mad at the nanny is because I'd be like well I'm not mad at the nanny yeah I'm not the nanny because we're rational people who have you know bigger brains as men you know so it's smarter that's just science

we don't get upset about stuff like that that doesn't concern us we mind our own business have you seen those men speaking donald sterling did you ever see the court transcript no this is this is the greatest thing i mean i read. So this is Sterling. Yeah. Well, I fool around sometimes. I do. When a girl seduces me and tells me all these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and take my shoes off

and licks my feet and touches me, when I'm in a limousine and she takes off all her clothes, the limo driver said, what's going on? She started sucking me on the way to Mr. Coon's house, and I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good. The lawyer goes, sir, the question was, is this your handwriting?

It's an all-time clip there. He's fucking seen off. That guy was getting that story in there. I was telling somebody him. That guy was getting that story in there. I was telling somebody that this hoe was sucking my dick naked in a limousine no matter what. He wanted people to know.

That starts with your handwriting. I love it, man. Well, we're going to go answer the internet. We're going to hit you with some weird questions next door. But the special is being released, as you said, in like two-minute clips here and there. So follow along on – it's all on IG and YouTube? Just Janus Pappas on Instagram or Twitter or YouTube, yeah.

And then eventually the whole thing will be out when the Fuhrer says so. Whenever my father says for me to do it. Otherwise, I just sit and watch. Look at what you see in her face. The mirror of your dream. Make believe I'm everywhere. Give it in the light.

Written on the pages is The answer to a never-ending story Reach the stars Lie a fantasy Dream a dream And what you see will be Time will keep their secrets real I'm both behind the clouds

And there upon a rainbow is The answer to a never-ending story. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Story. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.