KFC Radio - Howie Mandel, Mike Epps, and The Double Bachelor Party

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

Howie Mandel stops by and takes a call from his daughter, declines to give us $100k, compares and contrasts the new and old office, explains how girls get their vagina waxed to match his goatee. Mike Epps talks comedy inspiration, Snoop and Lil Uzi Vert at his wedding and "coochie falling from the sky" on him. Voicemails include: double bachelor party, black out with her parentsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka. It's the summertime. We just had Fourth of July. You're drinking your vodka cocktails all summer long. It's the official drink of summer. The official drink of Barstool Sports. The official drink of NHL. New Amsterdam Vodka. You can shoot it, you can drink it neat,

you can put it on the rocks, you can have it in martinis. I did a few shots of it this weekend. Did you? Yeah. You were partaking in the alcohol drinking? I was, yes. Yeah. You're good at that?

Pretty good. Well, the thing about New Amsterdam, you don't even have to be that good at it. You drink a New Amsterdam vodka, it's smooth as fuck. And what was your, your drink was really good. It was – Smooth as Sprite, some lime juice, some soda. Yeah, New Amsterdam, a little La Croix. La Croix.

New Amsterdam, La Croix, and some lime juice in it, I believe. There you go. Beauty. Then you got the Pink Whitney's. So go get yourself some New Amsterdam. Drink it. Mules, rocks, like I said, all different forms. New Amsterdam, Baca.

Get your drink on. We are sitting here back in action at the KC Radio studio. And I'll tell you what, if you got Marcel Gold today, it's a scene. I got a haircut. You're wearing a suit. John lost about 10 pounds off his hair. He's got the Trinidad and Tobago tie-dye shirt on. I'm in my divorce court suit.

It is just a wonderful representation of where this show is at you cannot there is nothing more awkward shout out to go back like throw back to my cubicle chronicle days where when you go to an office wearing something different or looking different and it's just it's 12 straight hours with the comments while you're at the office. It's like, now, at normal jobs, everyone was looking like I'm looking. Go to barstoolgold.com slash KFC to look. I just have a suit and tie, a shirt and tie on. It's like, it used to be, you know, if you wore the same shirt as somebody in the office,

they would all comment on it all day long, whatever. Today, I wore a suit, and, I mean, I have not talked to anybody about anything other than what I was wearing today. Every comment directed at me was like, oh, what are you doing? Erica laughed at my face and said, I can't take you seriously. Literally started laughing. This is a serious outfit. I was going to say, this is the total opposite. You're supposed to take me seriously now.

I'm supposed to look professional now. She's laughing at me because I'm in a suit. Everybody, ooh, people, I think they felt obligated. Vibs was just like, you look like you're wearing a suit today, Kevin. Like, thank you, Vibs. Make your comment and move along. Very uncomfortable the whole day. But then also, Casey said that girls liked it on Instagram. So that's cool.

Yeah. I mean, suits put asses in the seat. Suits play. Suits are. Suits fucking play. That was your idea when we first moved to New York. Fight said he was going to wear a suit once a week. And you did that approximately zero weeks.

Zero times I did that. No times. No, but it's still something I think about. I'll never end up doing it. You'll never do it. No. This puts asses in the seats. Yeah, I look sharper than this.

Thank you. The yellow is really what it is. You can get this in the store of Barstool Sports. It's a very nice shirt. Really does play. I mean, look at us. Both our efforts play, babe. We got our live show coming up this week, Wednesday night.

So if you are coming to Caroline's, be on the lookout. Krista Stefano is going to be up there on stage with us. I don't know any of the details. I meant to look it up. I think it's 730 Doors or 730 Show. That I don't know. So follow along on Twitter. We'll put out all the details on social media. I think Caroline's just says 730. I don't know. So follow along on Twitter. We'll put out all the details on social media.

I think Caroline just says 730. I don't know what that means. 730 what? Figure that out. Yeah, we're very unprofessional. We don't know any of this shit. We have a new opener, our old opener. We're supposed to be Francis.

That dude's dead. He died. Francis. He had a funeral for him over the weekend. Francis is no longer with us. I'm sad. I like Francis. Me too, man. I mean, I was just starting to get cooking with him too with us I'm sad I like Francis me too man

I mean I was just starting to get cooking with him too hopefully I'm gonna do some more like stand up stuff with him but you know he helped me with my stand up routine

and then we were talking about getting on stage not together but like as part of his shows and then it was like well let's put that on hold yeah

did you were you like did you talk to Dave or anything before or Erica nope that was a I don't

think dave consulted anybody just went right to twitter video i i i didn't text to be saying he did it but there was no like uh what are we going to do about this should i fire him he just made that decision on his own i would have liked to at least make it make a case for keeping him i don't know dave you know dave doesn't usually listen to anybody but his own gut rightfully so with what he's built and i do think that maybe because he so swiftly reacted like i don't know if Dave – Dave doesn't usually listen to anybody but his own gut, rightfully so, with what he's built. And I do think that maybe because he so swiftly reacted – like I don't think there's been much blowback on Barstool. I actually think everyone's handled this very well. It's not like Francis is like, Francis Ellis will never work again. People were kind of right away over it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think Barstool caught that much heat. And maybe that's because Dave acted so swiftly swiftly like some aaron hernandez shit just like boom separating you and then that way the organization doesn't get any flack so maybe had he suspended him or kept him on board people would have been writing articles like barcelo condones this and all that shit but i would have at least made like to like to make the case that like he is a talent worth keeping it was one of those things too where it was like privileges or whatever but we don't need to get rid of them all together yeah it was like the the news was different right like yeah something was written

jokes were tried and then like new information came to light it's the information that already existed yeah was bad right should not have been touched and you know i think had he done a little more research some of those like what he read yes gave gave some hope but like they had uh uh you know if they have the press release like within the hour that means there are probably other articles saying no no this isn't good yeah so if you're gonna touch a topic like that you have to be like rock solid ironclad bulletproof done all my research and he admitted to all these things on on various podcasts and conversations to me like he knows he tried to make something funny that wasn't funny he knows he didn't like prepare enough and uh and he touched the topic that he shouldn't have so you know it's nothing

i'm saying that he doesn't know already but my whole thing always had for all of barcelona has always been intent and i don't think he wrote it in like a hateful malicious way i don't think he was saying anything like i could see some other people on the internet being like well some inflammatory shit like if you're if you have a sugar daddy like you deserve this or you you put yourself in danger that to me would have been like what the fuck are you doing i know what the fuck francis was trying to do he was trying to take a dark thing and make it funny that didn't doesn't always work it doesn't always work but i understand the attempt like i've done it before and maybe not to this extent and so maybe that was kind of the case i would like to

make is that the intent at the end of the day was to take an article and put a barstool spin on it he took the wrong article and he tried to put a wrong spin on it so that email today i didn't realize how few people are allowed to write anymore i don't think anybody they're like seven of us yeah i mean it's it's like only ogs right everyone else is getting i think carabas was on it too um i think it was basically just like the original people and then i think carabavas and Koli are on it too. Yeah. And then everybody else has to get shit approved. It's not an easy time to be Kim Argo.

No, that is a, that is. And, and, and anybody who is coming at Keith, like the, the editor in chief role here is not like you read everybody's work and you

babysit them and you handhold them. He did that for a while. He actually wanted to, to continue it with Francis. Like he wanted to have francis to not have the the training wheels off uh i believe dave like very publicly had said like like i think he did it on radio yeah shut the fuck up keith like that's not what we do here and so you know you gave i do understand it is the role is different here but it is like when

you hear the title the title is in chief it's gonna fall on you uh that's different here, but it is like – When you hear the title, Editor-in-Chief, it's going to fall on you. That's why I think that we should just change the title. Keith Bloggs, he's a writer. He oversees some shit, and he manages our traffic and our clicks and all that, but he's not reading everybody's work. That's just not what we do here, especially once you've been around for a couple years. You get the keys to the car, and you get the drive, and it went good. So, I mean, yes, in a traditional role you're editor in

chief something like that would be more like why didn't this guy catch it when you understand how we work in here it's just not that way so anybody who thought that that was keith's fault is uh just no it certainly wasn't but i understand the confusion being like well there's right well i think dave should probably clear up yeah like i feel like keith was catching a lot of heat and dave's just not saying anything but uh keith But Keith is much more of a blogger who oversees things and not a, I just read everybody else's work. That would suck. I mean, that's brutal. Fuck being a real editor.

I know. That's what he's, like, doing now after he revoked the publishing privileges. It's got to fucking blow. Just reading blogs all day. Fuck that noise. Who would do blow. Reading blogs all day? Fuck that noise. Who would do that? Reading blogs? What are you going to listen to us talk about them next?

That sounds terrible. But the only funniest bit of content to come out of this for Francis, he had to go meet his girlfriend's parents for the first time that Friday. So he was hopping in the car to go meet them for dinner. He was like, shake your girlfriend's dad's hand. Like, hello, sir. How are you, son?

What do you plan to do to support my daughter? Well, I just got fired for mocking a dead girl. Nice to meet you. Woo! That is tough. I mean, meeting parents in general can be dicey. When you are A, like your head's spinning. You're not even fucking worried about them right now.

You're like, I just lost my job. But then when you realize you do have to worry about them, you realize the conversation is going to be that. You realize that's all anyone wants to talk about. I mean, that has got to be the worst. I would have canceled the hell out of that. i would have figured a way out somehow some way it's actually like he's been dating his girlfriend for a while i'm surprised he just met him for the first time yeah but i said it went well he was like i mean you know all things considered they

they they understood he's like i'll probably tweak that for my for my routine said this on the flagrant tube i guess like you know i'll probably embellish that a little bit but that just the the the amount of that you can riff on that like hey have you ever had an awkward moment reading your girlfriend's parents i'm sure you have well me let me tell you mine that is fucking amazing that's what's good about what we do and certainly what stand-up comedians do is like but worse your life gets the better you're at yes i said that a bunch of times like when something bad's happening to me i'm like fuck yes this is gonna be a good story to tell and let me tell you something john that better be the case and if it is the case in a couple years i'm gonna have the most successful stand-up special of all time because i just have a unlimited wealth of bad things happening

i have to figure out a way to weaponize these bad stories because uh it's just well what's going on well the suit says it all yeah the suit really wraps it all up in a nice little bow uh all right we have howie mandel on the show today who is quickly shooting up the ranks of like my favorite guests favorite recurring guest i want to have howie in here like once a week if it was possible i'd make him a third co-chair i want him all the time uh we talked to him we talked to his daughter very funny moment where she called the show in the middle of the interview um just a very funny dude and now he's playing ball a little bit first time he's a little hesitant now i think he now he gets it and he's just fucking around with us so howard mandel and mike epps is on the show uh so a little double whammy for you but first we'll get

into uh a little fourth of july recap we'll do some voicemails and we'll do these interviews boosted board boosted board changed my life i i got the boosted board rev the scooter we're working on getting the second scooter i i i drove that thing up to grand central and then i took it on the train and brought it home. And I wanted to go out for a little night, a little joyride at night. I mean, it's – I haven't – The only reason I couldn't, I was charging it. But I – it was like 10 o'clock. Something had happened in my horrible life, and I was, like, stressed out about it.

And I was like, fuck it. I'm going – I got to ride. I felt like fucking Jax Teller, man. I felt like Rocky in the Ferrari, like with no easy way. No easy way I was playing. He's just like driving and thinking about stuff. I just wanted to hop on my scooter and just cruise around town. It was charging up, but I'm telling you, once you get a taste of that scoot life.

It's unbelievable. It was hands down the most popular thing we've ever had in this office. I'm talking about like celebrities. There have been major people here who did not garner the attention at this scooter. We had moments. We've had people. We've had all sorts of shit here.

That electric scooter. You were coming in so hot. You were doing, like, the turn with your foot skidding on the ground. Yeah, that was crazy. Everyone was, like, everyone, you know, when you first ride the boosted board or the scooter, you, like, get your bearings, you know, you figure it out. And then once you figure it out, you're just cruising.

The Rev is almost, that also made me feel super special. Nobody has the Rev yet. It's like one of one in the world. I was like, ha ha. I know the electric scooter's around, but not the official boosted board one. And I was like, I'm the only guy in the world cruising up Park Avenue right now on the boosted board Rev. So either you got the scooter or you just got the regular board.

Either way, you can cruise around town. You can commute easier, go for a joy ride. It's easy to pick up and pack up. And right now you can get $75 off when you use the code KFC at checkout. Go to BoostedBoards.com, promo code KFC, $75 off your vehicle, whether it's the board or the scooter, the Rev. You get the discount, same discount. It's KFC at checkout, Boostededboards.com for 75 bucks off um you throw out the first pitch i did a baseball game to the first pitch now but i do have to clarify uh you you bounce the first

i bounced it it was it was pretty it was first of all it was fucking funny it was like it was like i said i had people chirping me not about that, about like, oh, you think this is cool? It's like a – it's like that capely gets it. Yeah, no, it is. I was like, yeah, it's cool. It's a fun little thing. I'm not saying it's George Bush in the 2001 World Series,

but it's a cool little thing to do. Yeah, it was like – I mean, it was put together kind of late. It was like Saturday morning. They asked me to do it Saturday night, and I was like, yeah, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Why not? It'll be fun. And we Saturday night and I was like yeah fuck it I don't give a shit why not it'll be fun and we went

and it was it was cool it's like the kids are like fucking like gonna play professional baseball

they're like the like everyday shortstop was like from FSU they had like a bunch of

I think it came with so was it just like a summer league like an independent league yeah it's like it's the same league I forget what

the league is called unfortunately but it's the same league the Newport Gulls play so it's not it's not it's it's the same league i forget what um the league is called unfortunately but it's the same league the duport goals playing so it's it's it's not it's not cape league it's one of those like you play like 75 games and 78 days in the summer right i think they play like every night yeah um but it was it was fucking cool we were hanging out before the game out there and uh i was like busting balls with the players the the team they were playing was just like back to the gills with Steelers. They were just like every time the announcer was announcing the starting lineup

in between the names, they would just scream Feidelberg. Dude, I want to just be on the bench of one of those teams. I just want to hang out with them for the summer and just fucking... They were having a lot of fun. I would argue hockey teams seem to have a lot of fun, but a minor league baseball club is just like forget about playing i just want to be on the bench yeah i just want to have a blast they were they were like yo come

hang on the bullpen i was like i was with my family so i kind of i sat with them but i was like i would like to go hang out on the bullpen yeah it was awesome um but i was confident i was so confident we did guaranteed straight i was actually because i was funny. Like I said, they asked me Saturday morning, but Friday I had actually been playing catch with my brother. We had gloves out at my parents' house out there, and we were just standing in the backyard. You were whipping it. You felt good.

I was like, I can still fucking hum this thing. And then before the game, I was joking around with the players, and I was like, are you going to throw a strike? I was like, dude, I'm feeling so fucking good. I might throw this thing from center field. I might go out there. Which, by the way, might be a move. Yeah.

Do a crow hop and just try to nail him at the plate? I mean, no one's ever done that. No one's ever done that. I seriously could do that. No one's ever thrown out a first outfield assist. You've done a first pitch. You haven't done a first assist. But I got up there, and it was like the whole time.

Did the mounds fuck you up? I feel like a lot of people practice playing catch, and then when they have to get on a mound, they're like, wait a minute, this is different. No, the mounds didn't fuck me up. It was, I like all day. I was not worried. Like my family was trying to bust my balls. And I was like, I don't know.

It's a weird thing though. It's like you should, I think it's rare that you wouldn't be. I think most people really get nervous. And it's like, if you, if you played catch, if you can throw a ball, like you can do this. But I think it gives, it gives you a little perspective on like players, do this yeah but i i think it gives it gives you a little perspective on like players like in a big moment you know yeah you guys a normal person gets nervous to go throw a ceremonial first pitch imagine if you were in this game and it was like the world series and you have to throw 100 pitches and all of them have to be good so uh but so you

went out there like calm cool collected i was i was calm until i stepped over and onto the field and then you're like oh shit when i when i stepped. When I went to do the jump over the first baseline, I was like, ah, fuck, here we go. And the coach just told me, he's like, they're going to let you fucking have it if you don't do a strike. And the other team, the Vineyard Sharks had taken the field,

but the other team stayed on the baseline where they were for the national anthem. They didn't even go back to the fucking duck out and so i was like were they saying shit to you as you walked out yeah and uh i was like oh boy and i kind of just like once that once i started nervous i was like just get it over with yeah so i didn't really get up there i didn't do like a wind up or anything like that i was like all right put on the rubber well that was your problem you should have it was you probably should have taken a moment to collect yourself. Yeah, I should have.

I kind of just like, it was like. But you bounced it like, you didn't, it wasn't short, right? It wasn't short. Short is the real. It was wide, and I don't have my phone on me. I tweeted it. But the. Short and wide, just like your mother.

It was, the catcher didn't do me any favors either, because he like laid out to stop it. And I was like, dude, come on, you gotta fucking frame me. Oh, bro. Don't get me wrong wrong it was in the batter's box there was no framing to be done but he like he went all out for it got his chest in front of it i was like son of a bitch did you ever i've i've considered and this is a double whammy like doing a bad on purpose because then one you don't because like i just did that on purpose and two you go super viral no i mean you can't fake things like that i mean you could you could just airmail one like down the first base path yeah like oh i don't know like 50 cent and then everybody's gonna see it and then you can then i can be like yeah well no i mean i could have thrown a strike but i just used the opportunity to go viral yeah yeah i think i think that's something i think

people could tell if you're if you're if i just if i just threw it you know over the backstop yeah like what the fuck what's wrong with you yeah that was you weren't trying to throw a strike that you're just trying to throw this into the fucking woods uh it's a it's a rare thing that like anybody would ever get to do on any level and i think that people think they could do it. It's one of those things, like you talk shit until you have done it or been asked to do it, and it's a whole different story. I feel like you – Chaps got roasted for like a week straight on his.

You skated. Yeah, I mean I didn't try to hide it. I retweeted it. It was the pitching coach back. He had the video. So I think the Vineyard Sh i think i think like the vineyard sharks i think their social media people that were with me behind me so there might be a better angle of it the one i retweeted is just from the uh from the dugout but uh guys what was the

reaction the other team they're just like oh you're just like booing me it was it was bad but it was it was funny because like it was they were in the moment were you laughing right away or were you like embarrassed no no i was laughing right away or were you embarrassed? No, no, no. I was laughing right away. When I came back, when they gave me the ball – Oh, here it is. When they gave me the ball, I fucking just spiked it. Man, I don't want this.

Fuck this thing. Well, I mean, it really is just outside. Look how I'm fucking standing there. Yeah, that's not easy go right back to the time come on man firing squad the slow-mo breakdown pitching ninja here yeah went about uh 56 feet and uh you know almost hit the the left-handed batter it was didn't go great didn't go great yeah but i mean again it's something the mets have like kind of offered it to me before and i just i don't want to fucking even it's it's too much pressure it

becomes like not a fun thing it's just like a it's like well if i do well no one's gonna care and if i do bad it's gonna be yeah you know immortalized forever all right let's get to voicemails voicemails are brought to you by bark box you love your dog yes yeah right i mean it's like just like if you have a dog i thought about this do you think there's anybody who has a dog who's like he's all right probably have a dog you're like a dog person right i could see people having a cat being like yeah i don't know like my grandma died and i had to like take care of this cat i had a dog for like three days once. When you kidnapped it?

No, no, no, no. Like in school. And it was like, it was, it was demonic. It was crazy. I had, I was having nightmares about the dog becoming a demon and eating me. And would you give it back? Yeah. I can't have this dog.

How old were you? I was like 17. I was like, why the hell did you give me a dog? What is wrong with you? What the fuck? For real? What the fuck made you did you give me a dog? What is wrong with you? What the fuck? For real. What the fuck made you think I could handle a dog? I mean, a 17-year-old John Feinberg had to be the worst dog owner prospect in the world.

I went back, and I was like, I was mad at the town. What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you do any sort of screening? Did you give a quick little once-over? You just gave this to me. I'm a child. What kind of dog was it? Some sort? No, it was like a black lab. It was great. Give a quick little once over. You just gave this to me. I'm a child. What kind of dog was it? What?

Some sort? No, it was like a black lab. It was just, it was great. So the old, like, there's no such thing as bad dogs. There's only bad dog owners. You don't believe it? This dog was like a demon? Well, it could have been a bad owner.

But I mean, I wasn't even a bad owner. I didn't even have it long enough to be like, I knew real quick. You had like a Cujo on your hand. A little Pet Sematary. Yeah. That's what it was. Like, I had had it was one night i woke up and sweating and i had picture i i remember i still remember the nightmare so vividly where like it split at its back oh and then like a demon rose up out of it and it was

just a demon dog i mean this is this is stranger things and it was yeah yeah a demogorgon is and it was like and then it just ate me and i like woke up, I was like, we can't do this anymore. We can't. We can't coexist. This is not working. I haven't even gotten around to naming it yet. It was just like this. But you and I.

Take this demon dog back. You and I are going to work out. I mean, that's the smart way to handle it. If you can't handle a demon dog, I mean, someone else probably just got eaten by the demon when it popped up yeah that's probably what happened but if you have a normal dog a non-demonic dog you're a dog owner you probably love your dog you want your best for your dog get yourself uh get your dog bark box uh it is a monthly subscription box that comes with treats it comes with bones it comes with uh dog toys they're all themed uh and they you know

there's a christmas theme one around the holidays around it knows when your dog's birthday is you get a birthday pack it gets all sorts of different uh motifs every time you get it delivered once a month uh every six months uh a couple times a year whatever it may be uh you can pick your plan and you pick your your dog's size what your dog is into and they customize this box all for your pup your dog will go bananas i don't know how they know it i guess they can smell the treats or something yeah but i mean they it's unbelievable when the dog knows the mail is for them think about how excited you get when you know you have some mail nowadays you have like a letter that's not a bill or like a save the date when you know you have like some actual mail you get

all gassed up if you're a dog think about it uh it. So you're going to love the look on your pup's face when he gets a BarkBox. Right now, go to BarkBox.com slash KFC and you're going to get yourself a free month of BarkBox, an extra box when you subscribe to a 6 or 12 month plan. That's BarkBox.com slash KFC for a free extra month

for your doggy. Also, I checked with Caroline's. The show starts at 7.30. Doors are 6.30. So if you want to come and hang out for a full hour, you, I checked with Caroline's. The show starts at 7.30. Doors are 6.30. So if you want to come, hang out for a full hour. Well, you can get your happy hour on. They have a bar there, so come hang out early.

Maybe we'll be milling around, and we'll get the show on the road at 7.30. What's up, guys? Got some questions and advice. So this past weekend, July 4th, I went with my girlfriend to her town. She described what we were going into as a party on the beach. So I took that as an invitation to get as blacked out as seemingly possible. So I lasted about three and a half hours on the beach when she wanted to stay all day. We had to leave. Mom had to pick us up. I'm stumbling throughout the house. Oh, yikes.

Brutal. Brutal. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm single for the summer. This is great. Probably not. doesn't want to see me again so dumped me yesterday anyway I get this girl back probably not no this is over I mean the mom asked you to take a shower

they brought you an Uber home you are so done so done the ships have been burned it is done I would love for all breakups to be like this is so done this is the ships have been burned man it is done so i would love for all breakups to be like like this is great yeah yeah there's no there's no uncertainty none and like you can you almost even could like like listen it wasn't a great performance by you but i almost think that's like on them that it's like yeah she dumped me i like one bad night she dumped me you

you can almost spin yourself into the sympathetic figure and there's there's no like oh should i or should i not should i try this shit is done it's your fault but kind of her fault and you can move on for the summer and be single yeah right it's this isn't a family that you'd want no just sometimes you just know they're like okay like we we wouldn't have coexisted i'm glad we knocked it out now if this happened if this happened with uh a family that like that you would that you were meshing with like the dad probably would have busted your balls you would have come down for breakfast the next day and people would have made fun of you and like you know everyone would have got over it if they're the type of people would be like you need to go take a shower and then they get you an uber out yeah they kick

you out of the house they kicked you out how they put you out on the street it is a wrap like that's almost one of those things where as he was telling that story, he should have ended that voice-over with, like, I was going to ask how to get it back, but as I just heard it all said, it's not happening. Anyway, nice talking to you guys. Something in your brain should have clicked that this is a wasted phone call. I don't know if minutes still exist, but you wasted your minutes on this.

Anytime minutes. You're turning them up, dude. But, bro, this is a good thing. When you, as a guy, can be fucking happy or certain that you're going to be single during the summer, that's great. Yeah, I guess it's fine. If you love this girl or something like that. But if you're going to have – I would rather just have this be done and then you can go have a fun summer. You can get blacked out for three hours and go But if you're going to have, I would rather just have this be done and then you can go have a fun summer. You can get blacked out for three hours

and go home if you want. You don't have anybody else's rules to play by and you're good to go. What made you think it was okay to get blacked out on the beach? If I'm staying... I'll counter you, John. What makes you think that I'm not going to get blacked out

on the beach at a beach party? If I'm staying with your parents, I'm going to try and keep it a little bit together. And lucky for me, I can be those two things can both exist at the same time. Stumbling through the house is crazy. I would never do that. I can't. I don't stumble. My equilibrium

is too strong. No matter how drunk I get, you have no fucking idea how drunk I am. And I'm fine. So that won't happen to me. But even then i would back to someone's beach house and you're just like knocking over the seashells and on the fucking shelf and stuff like how are you doing we were at the party on the beach like yikes yeah i mean i i think uh if you're just with the girl and you're all the like the young people are

hanging out and you you know come out of the gates too hard that happens all the time actually usually it's a race to see who can get there first to see who's taking care of who for the rest of the night especially during the summer you're at the you know beach town whatever but if there's plans to like go to dinner with the family or meet the parents afterwards or whatever why don't you spin this and say she roofied you there you go or someone roofied you right you tell them tell them that your daughter roofied me i was drunk what the hell what kind of daughter are you raising you're embarrassed you're you're you're embarrassed by me what about was rough. What the hell? What kind of daughter are you raising? You're embarrassed. You're embarrassed by me?

What about you? You think I'm the bad influence because I was stumbling around? She fucking roofied me. She tried to rape me. That would be. I was poisoned. That's burning the ships and then fucking feeding the shards of ship to sharks. Making sure there's. No, we can't even.

We can't even mangle together some makeshift boat. You can't even stand on the shore anymore. There's nothing left of this. I'm going to accuse your daughter of being a rapist. Your daughter is a rapist and a druggist and poisoned me and sabotaged me. And me go take a shower, you go take a shower and wash the filth off of your body from raising such a despicable young lady. You could burn their fucking house down after that.

And they'd still be more upset about the daughter. What kind of seriously go bring down, bring down the mirror from the bathroom. Like look into this thing. What kind of parents were you to raise a girl like this? You never, I see you never sat down and had to talk with her. Don't rape anybody, huh?

That one you must have just missed that day at parenting school, huh? Where did she even get it? Do you know who she hangs out with? Sometimes you think about it. Yeah. And these things come from the parents down. This is not something a kid does on their own without a little parental fucking. You probably gave her these roofies, didn't you?

It was you. You roofied me. You guys did it. I know what's her these roofies It was you! You roofied me! You guys did it! I know what's going on here It was you, sir! You were trying to rape me! Susie! It was your dad trying to fuck me! You're dumping me?

Your dad almost fucked me! Fine, I'll leave But don't you come bringing me a dick near me ever again don't you come calling don't you come crawling back oh god so yeah that'll work show back up at the house tomorrow shit face give that one a try you did it again you're what up KFC super producer BC got a question for you so I've got kind of two different friend groups

I've got, I'm from the midwest so I've got kind of like a country redneck type friend group from high school and then I've kind of got my club going out friend group that I kind of made after that and I'm kind of got my club going out friend group that I kind of made after that. And I'm kind of wondering if down the road, if that leaves grounds for me to have two different bachelor parties.

Because one of them is definitely about going out, going to the bars. One of them is probably going to go to, like, Colorado, go to the mountains, or go on some type of camping trip, something like that. My brother-in-law isn't really about the club scene either. So I'm wondering if that gives me the excuse to have two bachelor parties. And how would I convince my fiance that, hey, I need two bachelor parties? Give me your thoughts. So the problem is, you are, if you have two bachelor parties,

you come across as the girl who has like birthday month. You know what I mean? Like you sound dramatic, but I get what he's saying. I get it. When you have two different groups of friends that don't like blend well, it probably would be better

for everybody to have two. You know, it's like, I'm going to go wild with my wild friends and my like calm friends or older friends or whatever don't have to like dread it and the the fun guys aren't gonna have to worry about hiking in the mountains it's probably better for everybody but i do think you're gonna come across as like a like a chick and like you're dramatic yeah i i i think there's an easy way to solve this one group of friends that's all you get just cut one out people are

you're allowed there are too many people these days have like too many too many sets of friends. That's all you get. Just cut one out. People are, you're allowed to, there are too many people these days have like too many sets of friends. You have one set of friends. I mean, the bachelor party I was last at, it was 20 guys because it was elementary school friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends, you know, whatever friends.

It was four or five groups of people. Just keep your circle small. No one wants to hang out with that many people. I don't care. No one likes that many people. I don't understand. I got a buddy who has eight groups of friends. It's crazy.

To me, it's like there's no way that you can be this diverse of a person. No. It's like you like this, but you also like this, but you also like that, and also two more. No. You're just a big faker. Yeah, you're a chameleon. You're a snake. You just pretend to like what everyone else likes.

Just like what you like. Do you even like hiking? Because if not, then just cut out this whole fucking hiking group of friends. But I could get down with the idea of a calm thing and a party thing. Yeah, I think that's fair. I think you could – that would be interesting if we could just establish that because then you wouldn't be the asshole. Did you hear that Tom's having two management parties? It also can't be overlap. You can't be asking someone to go to both it's like i paid i paid from the flights for one hotels for one i'm doing the one uh no as i'm talking

through it you tell your fucking hiking friends we're partying for a weekend and that's it yeah and if they take a fucking and if they can yeah if they can dial it back good for them and if they can't you take a hike by your fucking self. Yeah, we'll walk to the fucking bar, man. Yeah, that'll be our hike. Well,

while we go to the bar, you can go on a hike and, you know, you can wake up early while we all, like, you know,

drag our corpses out of bed. Bachelor parties, I've been preaching this for a while. Like, the whole, like, we're just gonna,

like, golf or, like, or hike or some shit like that. If your bachelor party is activity-based, get the fuck out of here.

I mean, you know, you don't have to be, like, fucking strippers and doing blow. But, like, it's just bachelor party is activity based, get the fuck out of here. You don't have to be like fucking strippers and doing blow. It's just a time to drink and that's it. Just drink. I don't think golfing even counts as an activity though. Guys who do golf, you golf all the fucking time.

You're just going to golf again? Why don't we just try to dial it back and have some fun? I guess that's fair. When I went on a bachelor party last year that was golfing i just didn't go golfing yeah i mean i i did the tubing we talked about a couple weeks ago it was like you know he could have just been on solid ground drinking and it's like i can't even hang for like the big weekends even that that bachelor weekend was pretty calm and like the second third night i was like i'm just done so i'm not i'm not i'm not gonna be the guy who's like yeah let's fucking go crazy but a bachelor party should just be for party yeah it's in the word i don't need you know

remember when tony romo was playing hide and seek and shit yeah i think people just kind of they they they feel like it's it's it's too hedonistic to just fucking that's what should be yeah exactly and i was like we have to do something it's what it should be. Yeah, exactly. We lost sight of that. It's always so weird. We feel like, well, we got to do something so we're not drinking the whole time. Why? I don't even like the dinner.

When people are like, all right, Saturday, we'll have the nice dinner. It's like, that's a tranquilizer dart to the face. And again, I can go out to a steak dinner anytime. What I can't do is anymore with the way life is, cut loose with all my friends. So let's just... You don't have to be crazy. You don't have to fuck anybody. You don't have to be crazy. You don't have to fuck anybody.

You don't have to do drugs. You don't have to go on a 48-hour bender. Let's just treat it like you're in college again. Wake up late, start drinking, party, do it again. A couple days, then go back to life. I think that works. Keep it simple, stupid.

And keep one group of friends. There's no way you like that many people, man. You know what? Better point? There's no way you like that many people, man. And you know what? Better point? There's no way they all like you. Yeah. You know? Like when you get your high school friends together with your other friends, they're

probably like, we don't even like this guy. They definitely don't like each other. That's what I'm saying. You're just putting groups of friends. That's what I mean. With different people. Yeah, like, oh, we gotta hang out with John's college friends. Those guys are fucking idiots.

If you're like other group of friends, if I like them, they wouldn't be another group of friends. Right. We would mash them together. They're clearly not likable people. That's why they're your other group of friends. They're your alternates. They're your backup. They're the B plan.

That's not what the bachelor party is for. It's for like your OG friends who know how to have fun. One group of friends, one stupid non-activity based weekend done let's get into howie mandel he's brought to you by quip uh my quip toothbrush i got one john doesn't yeah yeah quip we saw we saw you the other day you said you're at the bar we saw the quip people they were like we're gonna get john one i was like guess what guess i already got one they actually though the girl was yelling at me because uh they sent it to me a box of like no joke like 18 and like it just the vultures just swarmed people get stuff so fast i just i opened it up and there was it was a comical amount of toothbrushes

to the point that i was like if if literally like anybody here wants a toothbrush i have one for you and they all were like okay yeah okay yeah, okay. Yeah, sounds good. Sounds good. So everybody's got a Quip toothbrush except for John. So our teeth are sparkling because the Quip toothbrush, it has the two-minute timer. John's probably out here brushing his teeth for like 10 seconds. I put it on, and it vibrates. It lets me know, switch over to the other side.

It vibrates to let me know, switch to the top. It vibrates when it's almost over. Two-minute clean. My shit is sparkly white pearly whites looking fresh christian yellich probably has a quip he probably has like two or three to cover all that surface area so uh if you want to have yourself a bright smile which is i i believe we established hair as as number one but the smile being number two yeah smiles are close a distant second but no i thought i think it's i think it's close really i think it's a solid two but i think the difference between two

and three is then like a huge drop off and a big debate smile is uh very very important to uh look good and get the ladies and get the fellas girls gotta have a nice smile too uh it's accepted by the ada shout out to uh kevin mccall. They got the kids brush. I'm not going to get. You think I'm going to get a quip for the kids? A quip for his daddy, okay? Kids, you can grow up a little later and get your quip on. Go to getquip.com slash KFC. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash KFC.

The brush heads get replaced every three months on a dentist recommended schedule. So when you go to getquip.com slash KFC, you get it for $25 and get your first brush heads, the refill for free. So get your brush for $25, get your first refills for free at getquip.com slash KFC. Howie Mandel, let's talk to him. I feel like this is like an episode, like a podcast episode of Property Brothers where, you know, at the end you have the reveal. It's like an HGTV reveal.

Like I sat with you in the room. Move that bus! You know what's wrong? And this is like the reveal. I show up a little while later. Oh, you always have to, you got to do the thing where it's just like, oh my God.

You got to wipe the tears. The lighting, we need The lighting. We need the lighting. These are new lights for us. Yeah, do you have makeup on? Because apparently we've been told these are for makeup. We don't have any. I'm not wearing any makeup.

This is all natural, baby. This is all natural. Not wearing any makeup. Good for you, man. I am powdered. Not here. Essential. In the summertime in New York, the powder is essential.

What are you doing? Nothing. I do nothing. It just looks like, are you working here, or is this just somebody with a timeout? It looks like... Sit in the corner. You sit there. He's got a little croc.

Yeah. Croc necklace. Yeah, he used to wear crocs on his feet. We called them crocs, and now he took it upon himself to wear a medallion. You, croc necklace. Yeah, he used to wear crocs on his feet. We called them crocs, and now he took it upon himself to wear a medallion. You don't think of them as jewelry. No, but apparently innovation over here. Wow, it's your croc. I can make you one if you want.

A croc-less? Yeah, they don't sell them. It's like a necklace made from a croc. It's a croc-less. You bought a baby's croc, and then you made it a necklace? It's a necklace meets a croc. He's going, now he shows up to work croc-less. With a croc and then you made it on a necklace? It's a necklace meets a croc. He's going, now he shows up to work crockless. With a crockless.

Crocs is always crockless? I like that. You don't put the pins in it? You don't buy the accessories for crocs? The little... What? Jibbits? Is that what they're called?

Jibbits? That sounds racist. Just leave that off the hook, Nick. That's what I call my testicles. Oh, jubits, jubits. I always get jubits and jibits mixed up. It's a jubit. I can do – I really don't refer to my testicles.

You don't have a name for them? Howie. No, I don't. Howie. I do. You know, I talked about when I was a kid, I took the little houses from the Monopoly set and glued them with model glue all around my testicles. Shut up. No, I did. Shut up.

No, you didn't. I did. I don't know if I – Howie, I don't have a read on you yet. What's the punchline? What's the punchline? It's not a punchline, but it is what I did. I don't know if I – I don't have a read on you yet. This is the second time we've seen you. What's the punchline? It's not a punchline, but it is what I wanted. I always wanted my very own cul-de-sac.

There he is. I thought you were going to say you invented like vajazzling because that's a thing now. Yeah. Now, years ago. They don't do it anymore, do they? Is it out? I figured – I never ran into one in the wild, but I just thought it kind of. You've never vajazzled?

I've never met a lady who has vajazzled. What would you do if you saw that? If I ever encountered that, and what, it has like rhinestones on it? So when I first did. It's too much. I would be like, this is beautiful. I hate it. I hate it.

But he's too polite. This is amazing. I love this. I probably it. Yeah. But he's too polite. This is amazing. I love this. I probably would. I think at the moment. I don't know if we talked about this before, but when I first started Deal or No Deal, which now airs Wednesdays on CNBC. 9 and 10.

Yes. Thank you. And you can win $10,000 just from watching at home from your couch in your underpants. $10,000 to home viewers. Oh. Yeah. Do you have to wear the underpants? No.

But when I was first on, I don't know if people remember, I had the soul patch. Did we talk about the soul patch? No. We didn't because I thought it was probably embarrassing for you. I thought that was on the

do not bring up list. I see what you did there. Okay. So the show was such a hit that at the first time it was on 10 years ago that I don't know what they're called, but the hair removal places that women go to. Yeah. The salons.

So you can get the runway. You can get a Brazilian. Give me the Howie. And you can get the Howie. Come on. And it was true. and I even have it. The salons, this call's coming. You're taking calls?

Are your producers taking calls? I've never, no one has ever called. That's how important I am. Just literally rip that out of the wall. Have we raised the funds that we need for this? It's kind of a Howie Mandel interview. Look at it. Give $100, you've got a beast towel.

Your producer who is setting the levels is just looking at the phone and turning it upside down. That's what I did and then it kept going. You don't know how to work the phone. New phone. No, it's not. It looks like from 1973.

That's the problem. It's old. They don't know how to. You kids today with the old phones. But anyway. Anyway, back to women designing their vaginas like you. So the salons from across America have sent me the – I have the menu where you can get the Howie Mandel soul patch. At the same time as that was happening, and I'm flattered, that's as good as a star on the Walk of Fame. I'm like, it's better. Well, how many women do you think walked in and got it?

I don't know. And I wasn't – I bet a lot. I didn't license it. I didn't own it. But my son is old enough. He's your age. So my son was dating.

I mean, that's the last place you want to – Dad! What are you – Dad! You know, that's not where you want to see your father. Yeah, but that for you is like, yeah, what's the problem, pal? Yeah. Well, I told you to say to the ladies, who's my daddy?

I think you know. Wow. I think you know. What an honor, man. Did you have the – no, I know pictures of my, but did you have – He showed you pictures of Howie. I said, can you look it up? Where the soul patch became on a menu item.

Howie Mandel soul patch. Howie Mandel soul patch for ladies. For the ladies. That's got to be one of the biggest honors I've ever heard about. You have no idea. I used to think getting a sandwich named after you at your favorite deli is an honor. Getting a waxing shape. That's better than a sandwich. Way better than a sandwich.

It's immortal, man. That lasts longer than a sandwich. And you can still eat it. Hey! We all got jokes today! Listen. Is there anything coming up? No. You just made the story Is there anything coming up? No.

You just made this story up, didn't you, Wendell? No, I didn't make it up. I wish I brought the menu. I wish you were – I knew that we were going to talk about my testicles and vaginas. We could have told you we were going to go there. Yeah. That's usually where we end up talking about things here. Not usually so quick, but we get there.

We'll land the plane. I don't have a lot of time, so I like to get to it. Yeah. Just cut right to the chase. I'm, again, trying to limit the time here at places like this, right? This is a nice place. This is much better. How long have you been in these digs? A month. A month?

Mm-hmm. Is that good or bad? No, I just, there's a lot of, it's, there's a lot of clutter for one month. Well, you say clutter, I say character. I would have loved to see the moving van from the other place well i think we threw out almost everything i think it was just like did you or the movers throw anything out i just can't see him carrying a lot of that shit actual garbage

they must have been like they must be going through hell because when you're moving you get like the couch out you get the bed out and you're always like we're almost done and then you have all the garbage and like this takes two days. They had probably months worth of garbage. And I have an image of the new tenant there just spending the day going, what's that smell? Honestly, I don't think there is a new tenant yet for that exact reason. I think it's really empty. It's hard to fill.

I think it's empty. I think people are just like, not for the smell, but when people were coming in to look at it to see it. It wasn't a show place. It was not ready to be seen. No, it didn't have street appeal. People at it to see it. It wasn't a show place. It was not. No, it didn't have street appeal. People were just riding around on scooters, yelling at each other. It was like, oh, this is a daycare center for adults. We used to have a chinchilla just roam free.

This chinchilla has now since risen to superstardom. He was part of the Stanley Cup run for the St. Louis Blues. He became like this super fan, the guy who works here. But for a time, this chinchilla used to just roam freely about the office, like going to the bathroom, chewing things up. It probably would have been your dinner. Like our CEO would be in meetings and it would come running out from under her couch and stuff like that. The chinchilla. Yeah.

And where is the chinchilla when you moved? It lives with him. So I guess he brought it home. It lives with an employee. It has since been all over the country now. Oh, since the Stanley Cup is over. Yeah. Yes. I mean. You've got this show Animals Do Things. This guy

would be a superstar. This guy, Boris, would have been a superstar. Running around in the Stanley Cup. Animals Doing Things is a very big Instagram site. I can imagine. It's not my Instagram site. It was just something that I enjoyed watching. I went to Nat Geo, and at 10 o'clock

on Saturdays, Howie Mandel's animals doing things. And my son's in it too, he's the animal expert. Is he really? How, did he go to school for that? No, no, he didn't go to school. I talk about him in my act, you know, I have a stand-up special on demand, but I think I talked about him.

This is true, it's not even a joke. My wife wanted him, my son, Alex Mandel, at Alex Mandel, and he's a vlogger, and he's got a big digital presence. But she wanted him to be homeschooled. And I'll just say it. He wasn't accepted. You denied. I was in his room when he got the notice. It was so heartbreaking.

He knows our handwriting, so it even made it doubly tough. This one's you. So you are kind of the new Irwins now, though. Yeah, the Irwin family. Yeah, you got this whole animal family thing going. Wow. So does that mean I'm going to get some sort of impalement through my chest? Here's hoping.

I mean, you'll go through the roof, man. Oh, that would be good for the ratings. Great for business. The ratings. Animals doing things. And just my son doing it. I don't have a Bindi. What's a Bindi?

Oh, that's an Australian thing, right? No, Bindi isn't. You just said the Irwins. It's your reference. Bindi Irwinis. Isn't it that the daughter? Oh, yeah. Well, I said an Australian thing, so I was right.

You were. Bindi Irwin is an Australian. Let's not split hairs here, Pauly. I want to start doing a game show where the answers don't have to be right. It's close enough. They just have to be – it's called close enough. So wait. You like this Instagram account. Your son's into animals, and you can just approach Nat Geo and give me a show?

Do you guys follow the doing things on Instagram? No, I don't, but I can imagine. It's morons doing things, drunk people doing things, babies doing things, kids doing things. I think drunk people I have seen. And animals doing things. So I had that, and I went to Nat Geo Wild, and I said, hey, this is a show, and I'll be part of it. And so I'm part of it. That's awesome, though, to be able to just bring ideas and see how it comes to fruition.

That's the kind of power I have. Well, look at what I did here. I said, this place is a shithole. And then, boom, you move. That's what I... How he moves crowds, man. Yeah, it's exciting. Do you know that we had an interview probably after you with Action Bronson, who's a rapper, and things went awry.

And he told Kevin he was going to throw him through a fucking wall. Really? No, really? He was being serious? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Deathly serious. So what happened? I just wrapped up the interview at that point. I had asked him a question about a rapper he had some beef with. He didn't want to talk about it.

And then he told me he was going to throw me through a fucking wall, at which part I proceeded to try to continue the interview. I was like, so the book you wrote about that. Stumbled my way through it, and he was like, I want to fucking kill you. I was just like, okay, I think, I think we're done here.

Thanks man. We were getting along great. That was incredibly uncomfortable. I was so uncomfortable that if you watch the video, I'm just staring at the water bottle, trying to make myself disappear. Left me out to dry. It was just like,

it's good to have a partner. Yeah. Well, at least you have the producer who doesn't know how to use a phone. And the kid who does nothing. My crack team here. You could have thrown a crock at at him you had right before me i'm trying to remember the rapper that said he was responsible for all of uh soldier boy put some respect on that name don't ever forget it sir

right but the i was like a rap sandwich yeah yeah exactly there you go but despite the fact that action bronson threatened physical violence and i attempted to hide yeah to just hide and play anamorph into a water bottle. I was still the most uncomfortable during your interview just because how uncomfortable I knew you were in that seat where I was mortified. We were so embarrassed. I was that honestly played a

part of us being like we need to get the fuck out of here now. See what I do. That's the power you see who I am. If you didn't come through, we'd probably still wallowing in that filth. You know, this isth. This is beautiful. It is beautiful. We came up with a place. Now, you have another show.

You have too many shows. You're so annoying. I know. So annoying. I know. How much more money and fame do you need, man? Come on. How much money do you have?

Can I ask? With me? Yeah, can I ask? Can you just – I've thought this a lot about famous rich people. Can you just give me like $100,000? That's not that much for you. And that would like seriously help me out right now. The truth is I could give you a hundred thousand.

You could. No, no. And let me just say this. Can I pay you back with some VIG? I am so wealthy that you wouldn't even have to pay me back. So can we? No, I'm saying I could do it. I won't.

I won't. Why not? Why not? Because if I was to give you a hundred grand, I'd want it to be a gift. I'd want it to be. And the fact that you asked for it ruined it because that's what I had planned today. Guess who didn't ask? But he just asked.

I didn't ask. Yeah, but now you're making – I'm still not asking. I came in here today. This is so weird because I said regardless of what I'm here to plug and talk about, let me just give one of them $100,000. I knew it. I put my foot in my mouth. No, that's what I said to myself as I was coming in, and this will be like a viral moment.

Everybody's going to be talking about this KFC, the one where Howie Mandel gave them $100,000 and didn't even want anything back. But you ruined it. Fuck. I'm so gullible that I'm still here. Maybe he's still going to do it. No, you ruined it. Fuck. I'm so gullible that I'm still here. Like, maybe he's still going to do it. No, you ruined it, guys. I'm just spitballing here. Money could have gone toward a new phone. You come in with a briefcase next time.

Deal or no deal style. It could be considered promo. It's a write-off. CNBC's actually paying me. You just come in with one briefcase. It just has one number on it. And you'd be like, which briefcase do you pick? And I'd be like, that one! And then, bam!

It's $100,000, and then CNBC has to put the bill. Yeah, but my problem was not the presentation. My problem was I wanted to be... Well, you were. And I wanted to be out of the goodness of my heart. I wanted to go, oh my god! You know, did you listen to the podcast where Harvey Mandel gave somebody a...

Well, you'd still be doing that in goodness. No, no, because now it's going to be they asked for it. We can cut that. This is prerecorded. He was under pressure. Ready? Cut. Start again.

Just do it. Just do it. Just say it. No money for you guys. Just do it. I'll be like, Howie, what's going on with the Marys Got Talent? And you'll be like, before we get to that, I want to – just do that. No.

I'm going to do this guy Neil's show next, and he's getting $100,000, and you're not. Fuck. Neil who? Neil. I don't even know his name. The check's not even written out. It's just Neil. Neil.

There you go, Neil. It wasn't check. It was just going to be cash. That's how wealthy I am. What about – what if I – you are. I mean, you guys really are, and you should do that more often. You should give random podcasters $100,000. What if I got on America's Got Talent?

What if I had a talent for you? Do you think you have you have a talent no but i can come up with one i have one what is it uh i use the alphabet backwards is that a talent or are you dyslexic one two three go z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a gold button 100k hit the gold button that's a gold button that is a real talent you want to know why i learned it in high school there was a there was a i guess urban legend or conspiracy, whatever you want to call it, that when police pulled you over if you were drinking and driving, that they would ask you to do the alphabet backwards in hopes that you would say, I can't even do that sober.

And I was like, I'm going to get away on this one real quick. I'll just learn the alphabet backwards. And I didn't even drive drunk. I went to boarding school. I didn't even have a car. But I was like, just in case. You know, you got to plan for the future. And you'd get off. So you get pulled over.

The cop says to you, can you touch your nose? And you start screaming. Z-Y-W-E-N-A-R! And they go, you are fucking drunk. I'm taking you away. You're so prepared for something that's not going to happen to you. You're in boarding school and you came up with a DUI safety thing? Such a fucking weirdo.

I don't know a lot of Americans that went to boarding school. New England. It's very popular in New England. Is it popular? I mean, where all my friends went. For the rich white kids. Very popular. How about a magic trick?

So you're rich. No. No, your parents. They're well-to-do. What business were they in? Insurance. Insurance. No. No, your parents. They're well-to-do. What business were they in? Insurance. Insurance. Yes.

We never wanted anything. Oh, so you don't even want the $100,000. Do your magic trick. Okay, ready? Yeah. Okay, hang on. You've got to give it a rub real quick. What do I got to do?

You're just going to go over it. People, this is visual, too. You see that? Why is the camera down? I don't want an audio of him going, just rub this. You've got to give this a rub. It's paper. It's just paper.

Okay, rub the paper. So it's a real piece of paper. Yes. Okay, so now we're going to... What are you doing? I'm going to make it disappear for you, Howie. Well, tell the people who aren't watching visually, who are just listening audibly. So I'm stuffing it into my hand.

You're stuffing the paper that I just rubbed into the hand. All right, got to get it in there nice and tight. Why are you doing it right over his? I don't really know. That won't work over there by your mic? All right. You want to give him one more? Oh, my phone's ringing.

How do we deal with it? Does he know how to deal with it? Who is calling me? Hang on. I'm right in the middle of a with it? Who is calling me? Hang on. I'm right in the middle of a magic trick. Who is this? Hi. It's my daughter.

I'm on a podcast. Tell your dad to give me 100 grand. What? I'm putting you on speakerphone. It's my daughter. Hi, Howie's daughter. I didn't actually mean to call you. I meant to call someone else.

Oh, no. She doesn't even love you. She doesn't even love you. Jackie. She also has a, she also has a, she's a vlogger. Tell her to come on. Jacqueline Schultz. I'm at, I'm at, well, the KFC radio is the show that I'm on right now.

It's Jacqueline Schultz. Hey, Jacqueline. Hi, nice to meet you. Everyone go follow Jacqueline. Subscribe to Jacqueline. Subscribe to Jacqueline right now. Jacqueline Schultz. What, Jacqueline. Hi, nice to meet you. Everyone go follow Jacqueline. Subscribe to Jacqueline. Subscribe to Jacqueline right now. Jacqueline Schultz. I'm glad I called in then. You accidentally promoted

yourself. Now, Jacqueline, you have to do us a favor. Who would you call by accident? Who did you think you were calling and then you got dad? This is actually weird. It was my husband. Now it's just getting creepy. All right. Goodbye, Jack.

You're really fitting in on the show. Bye. Now you're really fitting in on KC Radio. Wow. And now we're back with more magic. More magic. You know what? You've even made the excitement of the magic trick disappear.

It really has. There was anticipation a minute ago. I don't want to do it anymore. That was it. I don't want to do it anymore. You don't want to do it? That's good. I like that.

Half a magic trick. You know what? The awareness to know that the momentum's gone, you pull the plug. That's a great magic trick. I love that. You know what you're going to do? Touch this paper, pick a number, and then go home. You're going to go home thinking, what could it have been? What was going to happen

to that paper? You'll never fucking know. And a magician never reveals his secrets. That could be your talent. That's like a comic who only has setups. Two guys walking to a bar. That's it. Good night. And now we have a magician. Here, rub this

paper, stuff it in my hand. Talk to your daughter real quick and we're out of here. Yeah, we take calls. This is great. It's called set up. I did that with my mom this weekend, what your daughter just did. You called your girlfriend and you called your mom? No, I was arguing with my mom.

You shouldn't have. And I said, we were arguing about the Bruins. Wait, you were arguing with your mom? I was arguing with my mom. And she kind of gave me like, and I was like, yeah, babe, obviously. And I was, I was. Yeah, babe. Yeah, we were at, we were at lunch on Father's Day.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, babe, mom, Jesus fucking Christ. And my grandfather was there and I was like, oh, fuck. He doesn't like Jesus fucking Christ stuff. It was a disaster scene. Your grandfather's Jewish? No, he. Oh.

What do you – Just people keep wandering in and out. Do they even work here? No. They just wander off the street. Tourists with iPhones just keep walking in and out. It's kind of an open code thing. Security was better at the other building. It's the same security.

Not so much. They just don't do – oh, no. I guess like the actual security downstairs. No, I'm just saying that people – first of all, nobody asked me anything downstairs. It's the same security. Not so much. They just don't do... Oh, no, I guess like the actual security downstairs. I'm just saying that people... First of all, nobody asked me anything downstairs. You just walked right up. Anybody can be on this show.

Yeah, a thousand percent. You just wander in and you can be on the show. You rolled in with one other guy? That's it? Just you two? You don't come with an entourage? I don't have an entourage.

That's French for a lot of people, right? French for an annoying amount of people. Yes. There are some people here. There's some people. There's a publicist and one guy that's pretty

light pretty lean yeah well I would imagine the rapper that wanted to kick the

shit out of you had a lot of people yeah they were ready they were

all ready to kill me yeah I I roll alone

that's it America's Got Talent is I mean season 14 season of NBC you ever

we do we do like a – No, 8, 7 central. You're cracking your notes as if this guy doesn't know what his own butt is doing. I thought I knew. I just wrote it. 9 o'clock is CNBC tonight, Wednesday nights on CNBC. This isn't my fault.

This is your fault. You have too many shows. I have too many shows. Too much. Crazy. You ever get sick of being a judge? Never. You like it?

I love it. Who would ever get sick of judging people? It's not a real job. When we do Barstool Idol once a year to try to get a job here if you win, I don't like it. I don't like doing it. I don't like when someone is basically showing me their life's work and angling for a dream, and I'm like, nah, that wasn't that good. That's your judgment?

Sometimes. Nah. Sometimes. Isn't your judgment? Sometimes. Nah? Sometimes. Can't you be – isn't there anything positive you can say? Sometimes there's not, man. Oh, I know. I have that too. Yeah.

But do you always try to find something positive or sometimes would you be like, you're If I have absolutely nothing positive to say, zero positive to say, they give us a buzzer. So we don't have to say, I didn't even mean to do that. But isn't that even kind of rude? Yeah, that like hurts more than saying, Like if someone threw an X in my face, I'd be like, well, fuck you,

how are we going to know? It's not even an X. I'm used to it. We have one at home. We have one at home. My wife has one on the nightstand. She buzzes you? Please,

just one time tonight. I guess my talent is not shining tonight. Well, your talent shown through here. Great interview. Thank you for coming through. That's the end of it, right? Well, your talent shone through here. Great interview. Thank you for coming through. That's the end of it, right? Well, we actually, before we let you go, we have the birthday booze crew we do, which is your birthday, November 29th.

Right. And we tell you all the other celebrities who share. Do you have any idea who some of them are? That have the same birthday as me? You get to pick a crew to go out with. I don't know anybody that has the exact same birthday. I feel like you might know some of these people because you're so rich. Chadwick Boseman.

I have met him. Right. Of course. Anna Faris. I have not met her. I'm a fan. Russell Wilson. The quarterback of the Seahawks.

Oh. Yeah. Married to Ciara. Wow. Rapper of the Game. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Oh, wow. Author of C.S. Lewis. Yeah. Married to Ciara. Wow. Rapper of the game. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. Oh, wow.

C.S. Lewis. Wow. And Don Cheadle. Wow. So if you had to pick two of those to go out with for your birthday, who would you choose? Pick the game. Pick the game. You want to party with the game?

Really? Is that going to be the fun thing? It'll be really fun. Oh, he looks terrified already. Is it a plus one? Can Ciara come? Yeah, we'll give a plus one. Sure.

There's one. Good answer. Good answer. Well, that's the two people. There you go. David's here. Your wife. All right.

Last thing before we let you go. On AGT. I guess there's two things here. One, when they're telling the cry stories, are you ever like, this one's not hitting for me? Well, first of all, you see a lot of those stories they create a package like we'll go what so tell me about yourself and then they start talking and goes we don't even know them i mean we don't know the cry story because we are judging we try to judge on the performance the performance that being said and this is not a cry story the, we just hit a record this year on digital. There was this kid, Gabrielle Union's golden buzzer was this kid, Cody Lee.

And this kid walks on stage and he's got autism. He's 22 years old. This one's super viral. Yeah. Yeah. He has autism and he's blind. And my heart was just breaking because I thought, if this goes bad, it could be sad. It could be bad.

And he sat down at the piano and blew the place off. Crushed it. He crushed it. And within 24 hours, he had 200 million hits online. So that is one where it's not a sad story as much as it is maybe a very aspirational or inspirational story for people who always have excuses why they shouldn't try something. Right. This guy. But sometimes somebody will try, I guess, to tell us a story verbally that they think is going to make us lean in.

It's like, oh, I didn't get accepted to the college I wanted or something. I don't know. That's not it, man. Well, I did see on one of the other shows, and I won't mention which one. It was Drop Names. It's not on anymore. I did see on – I think it was live at the Apollo on that first episode. You could probably find it.

But there was a singer on and a young girl that was about to sing, and I think they were emulating. It seemed more like an SNL sketch to me. But she goes, she's always wanted to sing, but at four or five years old, and then they cut to the mother and a tear is welling up. The doctors confirmed that, we'll just say it, she had psoriasis but she's always wanted to sing and this kind of takes her mind off of her skin condition but that was serious

that was serious that was not even real so you know I think that's really laying it on thick there but it was real. It's real. Look that up. No, you'll just get more pictures of me with my... Alright, so

you got animals doing things, you got America's Got Talent, and you got, of course, Deal or No Deal. Deal or No Deal Wednesday nights, and a live stand-up special first in 20 years on demand. Jesus. I know. Just stop it. No, just call me Howie.

That's another joke. Big shout-out to Howie Mandel, who... Best in the business. He really is. We're going to get him to give us some money one day. I thought I had a shot. I thought I had a shot he was going to be like, here's a grand. I thought I was going to just get some money, whatever cash he had in his wallet or something.

One day, Howie Mandel is going to give me a cash gift. I promise you that. It's my quest. Mike Epps is up next, another very wealthy man. Mike Epps was talking on this interview about how pussy just falls from the sky onto his head because he's so rich and famous. It's like, God damn. Pretty nice. Must be nice to just walk outside.

No, just pussy falling from the sky. Mike Epps, the interview is brought to you by Candid. Did you know that your teeth move as you get older? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, you get your braces, you fix them, you think you're all good. They're always moving. And you're not going to get adult braces.

That's crazy. I mean, it would be Joe Girardi. Remember that? Nobody took that guy seriously. I got a binder and braces. That's what Joe Girardi was walking around. What is it, seventh grade? You got a five-star trapper keeper and braces, Joe?

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slash kfc and use the code kfc for 75 bucks off that's candidco.com slash kfc code kfc for 75 bucks off what's up mike epps uh all right kfc radio featuring Mike Epps. KFC up in this. We're the KFC, man. I know. Everybody always asks for that. My parents named me Kevin Francis Clancy, not realizing that the initials were going to be my whole fucking life. I actually never really thought of that.

I don't know. I really don't know. They never thought it through. It wasn't like KFC didn't become big after you were born. No, it was around. I think it was around. I'm pretty sure KFC has been around. But yeah, man. So I'm KFC didn't become big after you were born, did it? No, it was around. I think it was around. I'm pretty sure KFC has been around. But yeah, man, that's all I'm KFC.

You're rocking this blue Friday-type shirt. I'm liking it, man. It's a good vibe here. Yeah, man. You know, a little three's company. Seventies. We were just watching this special last night out on Netflix now, and you had a very funny idea in that,

in that your dick dies before you do. Yeah. Because your dick's been spraying everywhere and all sorts of weird shit starts to happen with your dick when you get older. Yeah. I mean, I haven't experienced it yet. I mean, I did just get married. Congratulations. Congratulations.

Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, but, you know, and that's the truth. You know, fellas, I hear a lot of older guys, they tell me, hey, Mike, they be warning me, my dad, all them. Yeah, man, you better use as much as you can. I go, oh, what the hell does that mean? Like there's like an expiration date. It's like being an athlete almost.

You have your prime. You have your rookie season. You don't know what you're doing yet. You have your prime where you're cooking, and then you start to fade, and then you've got to retire. Then you've got to hang them up. I've been slinging it and running up and down the field all these years. It gets sad seeing it.

You're like, ah, come on, man. You don't have any more. Why are you even trying? It's like Jordan on the Wizards. You're like, ah, come on, man. You don't have any more. Why you been trying? It's like Jordan on the Wizards, you know? It just isn't what it used to be, man. You know? But we still know he's who he is. He's got the stats to back it up.

And now, you know, there's all sorts of PEDs for your dick now, too. So you get older, you can start the performance enhancing drugs, and you still keep it going. Yeah, but then you got to worry about other things like acid indigestion. Oh, I already got that covered in space. Yeah. That can start early. 22 decades I'm going now.

See, that's what happens. You take a Cialis and then you're like, oh, man, I screwed this girl for an hour. She didn't want it for nothing but 10 minutes. She didn't even want an hour. And, you know, now you're done. The next day, your lower back hurt. And you got acid indigestion from taking the pill. Oh, man.

God, it's hot right here. You're drinking water. Man, you can't boo-boo. All of that to show off for a girl who only wanted it. She didn't even want it in the first place. That sounded like a rather personal story. Have you ever taken it to the house? What you think, girl?

She's like, oh, God, that was a lot. That was a lot. That was a lot. What do you think the number one sign is or the first sign that you're getting old? First sign? I don't feel old, you know what I mean? No, I'm not even saying. You look much younger than you are. I think age is a state of mind, you know?

I mean, you want to say that. In the special, you have a lot of old topics you talk about. You talk about moving in with your daughter at some point. You had being the old guy in the gym. It feels like losing the hair. You have to genuinely – There are a lot of things about – It seems like you're thinking about it often.

So I don't think you're old, but it seems like it's something that's on your mind well they get worried mike they make great jokes yeah they make the best jokes in the world and you know um it's a very safe position for a man to accept you know what do Safe position. Like, I'm 49 years old. I'm cool. I'm like, I don't want to never be that old guy trying to look young. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what's great about being a guy. You know what I mean? You get older.

We can age. You become a distinguished gentleman. That's what I'm saying. You got more money in your pocket. You got more experience. Even like, you know, you go gray and you got the silver fox look going. As we get older, it's almost a good thing. Yeah. And as chicks get older, it's almost a good thing. Yeah.

And as chicks get older, it's a total fuck up. Well, I'm talking about a lot of other people other than myself in the special. Mm-hmm. They make good jokes. But I'm not old, nor do I look old, or I feel old. Keep telling yourself that, Mike, man. Keep convincing yourself. I still look good.

You still got it. It's the shoulders. You say you just got married and you had Snoop at your wedding. Yeah. Snoop skipped the BET Awards to be at your wedding. I'm telling you. That's got to be like the nicest thing that's ever happened. That's the biggest compliment I can imagine.

That's a lot of pressure too, man. I'd be like, your wedding better bring it. Yeah, we brought it. We had the Whispers there. We had Doug E. Fresh. T.I. was there. Vivica Fox. Who got you the best gift?

Uzi Vert. Uzi Vert walked up to me and gave me $10,000. The best gift there is, man. Yeah. Straight cash? Straight cash. What'd you do with it? Uzi Vert.

Put it in your pocket? Yeah, I'm waiting on him to call me back for it. So I'll have it if he calls back. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? I don't know what he gave. He promised to give you 10 grand, but he hasn't given it yet? No, I have seen him.

And he's like, uh, come here. And I'm like, yeah, what's up? So we walked over to the van. And he just pulled $10,000 out. And I said, no, I don't want your money. And he ran, where I couldn't give it back to him. So I still got the money. Yeah, man, that's yours, dude.

Put it in the bank. If you want to give it to us, we'll take it, too. You know what? You give it to me. I'll give it back to Uzi next time I see him. Deal? No. I'm going to keep it.

Had to try, man. Who got you the worst gift, then? Nobody. Is there anybody that didn't give you a gift? I didn't ask for gifts. We didn't want gifts. Did you do like the please give to charity instead or did you just give like no gifts? No, we didn't want no gifts.

It felt so unorthodox. It's so authentic to take gifts. I get that. And I'm in a position. You know, I'm entertained. Yeah, you're good. You're sad. Yeah, I don't want to.

When normal people get married, it's like, you fucking remember everybody who gave you or what they gave you or who didn't give it. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. We wanted to keep it clean. Keep the tabs on that shit. You know what I mean? No gifts.

We can go buy whatever we want. That's a good spot to be in, man. That way we won't, you know, it won't feel like, because it gets weird when people buy you stuff. It gets awkward, yeah. You know? Because the worst thing that can happen is they get upset with you because you're not acting hysterically happy about it. You know what I'm saying?

They're like, damn, you don't like it? It's like, I said yes. Right. How many times do you want me to say it? I don't understand. I mean, I know around here at least... You know what? Take this headband with these rhinestones on the back. That's what I'm yes. Right. How many times you want me to say it? I don't understand. I mean, I know around here at least. You know what? Take this headband with these rhinestones on the back.

That's what I'm saying. Just give cash. When you get actual gifts, who wants that shit, man? They're about the craziest shit, right? Alarm clocks. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. I got an iPhone.

I don't need that. An alarm clock? Just give me cash. If you're going to give me anything, give me cash. Give me a check, whatever. I don't even like getting cash. I prefer just don't give that just give me cash give me a check whatever I don't even like getting cash I prefer just don't give me anything ever I had that with my family members I'm 30 now so don't give me nothing

I don't need cash I don't need anything it's very awkward for me to sit in like at Christmas with my like 6 year old cousins and we're both opening our presents I'm a 30 year old adult man with a job you're opening Legos we don't need to have Legos. No, that I understand.

Birthdays and shit, Christmas, I get. When it's your wedding and you just dropped a fucking boatload of money on that shit, you need to recoup your costs.

In the wedding, you want those gifts. You want that cash back. Yeah, no, no. I'm not saying don't even have it. I'm not Mike Epps rich. I need wedding gifts for sure.

But I don't need fucking Christmas gifts. I don't need birthday gifts. I don't need stupid gifts. I don't need stupid gifts. That's for certain. There was another funny bit in your special. Were you really a special ed kid? Yeah.

I feel like you're pretty clever and smart and witty, at least in your acting and movies and shit. That don't have nothing to do with school. I think television taught me. Really? Yeah. My education. That's interesting. 70s and 80s television.

What shows, like specifically? I mean, I wouldn't say a specific show, but I learned how to talk and be, watching commercials. I educated myself through television because I didn't learn from school, you know. But I would learn through listening, you know, absorbing, you know. See, that's why I let my kids watch TV.

I just put them in front of the TV. Go learn. Go learn. Yeah, back in the day. No, TV back in the day was educational, believe it or not. They had shows on that would teach you all the stuff that you needed to know i had a problem with comprehension that was my problem i didn't so i could read a book and couldn't tell you what i wrote what i read you know so i was i was really a self-taught

guy i taught myself how to talk taught myself how to articulate words when I can sometimes I'm still off you can still listen to me and tell like hey man you know he's smart but it's in a unorthodox way yeah but I feel like it becomes almost relatable in a way you know what I mean I feel like people get that I mean the book sense is

totally different than common sense such a waste of time I'd much rather have common sense than book sense where do you think the idea of time. I'd much rather have common sense than books, but... Right. Where do you think the idea of TV, you know,

like the idiot box, where do you think that came from? Because as you said, TV was educational. One of my good friends is from El Salvador. She learned how to speak

English through TV and I guess she learned about... It's just crazy, right? Yeah. Through TV. But now it's like the furthest thing from that.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I love being in special ed because now the girls that are like girls that I met, they used to laugh at me in special ed. They can't even look at me, man. That's got to be. I bet you're going to all the reunions. I'd be trying to catch everybody.

They don't even want to see me coming because They knew how they felt about me back then. They called me dirty boy and all kind of stuff. That's mean. That's fucked up, man. But I used to go. But you know what I used to do? People are mean as shit. I used to go to the Salvation Army and stuff like that.

And the thrift stores and buy my clothes. Because rich white men would bring in those Izod sweaters that they wore once. And I'd buy them and put them on and go to school. The girls thought I had money. Snake it till you make it, man. You know what I mean? Have my little collars out and i learned how to dress off of that like i learned that that off of three's company and stuff i put my little

sweater on put an archie bunker you know what age is this at 10 is this the wedding ring or is this just a ring you rock no it's just a ring i was gonna say that's a hell of that'd be a hell of a wedding right there uh i'm married man you know i mean now it's the it was the it was the countdown to lockdown now i'm locked down i can't even think the same way no let alone do that's what marriage is. You just got to keep a secret. Nah, man. Shit. You can't even think. What do you mean by that? Thoughts turn into action.

Actions will get you in trouble. Yeah. And I'm in show business and coochie just fall out the air. Like, damn, where did that come from? How does she handle that? A wet piece of coochie just flew out there and just hit me in the head for no reason. I wasn't doing nothing to nobody. Oh, is that the card you play?

Like, honey, listen. I didn't say anything. It just falls out of the sky. I was just walking. It really does. Airports, wherever it is, the girls are just, I'm like, oh, God. Get your titty out of my face.

Yeah, just too many titties in your face, dude. What a plight this is. Yeah, you know what? I feel bad for you, man. You got fucking boozy-handed, 10-brandy. Say prayers. Send your thoughts and prayers. You got the new Netflix. It's horrible. You live a tough life, dude.

I really, you know what, Mike? I pity you. I really pity you. It's just a sad existence that you lead, man. You son of a bitch. You were just in... You were in Uncle Drew. Would you get tight with Kyrie at all? Give me some inside scoops, man.

Where's he going? I ain't no groupie, man. So, if I work with you and you're famous, you're just famous and we're working together. Yeah, but did he ever say anything like, yeah, man, maybe I'll catch you later in Brooklyn when I play for the Nets? Is that who he's playing for? I don't know. I'm asking you, dude.

You got to tell me. Where's he going? He going to pop up somewhere ain't nobody going to believe. You're probably right. He's going to play on Mars, man. He's crazy. He's a weird dude. He's a weird cat. He's going to believe. You're probably right. He's going to play on Mars, man. He's crazy. He's a weird dude. He's a weird cat.

He's going to be like in Dallas or something. That's what he said. He had that line about two years ago. You see that? They asked him, like, where are you going to do it? You're going to get into coaching. And he said, nah, man, 30 years I'm going to be living on a farm in Texas with no electricity. He's a weirdo.

An interesting weirdo, but a weirdo. Hey, man, everybody don't want to do it the same way, you know? Everybody got different ways of doing their success. You know what I'm saying? And maybe that's his way of staying sane. Yeah. You know what it is. I don't think the coochie falls from the sky in Dallas.

You know what I mean? You get out in there. Well, that's all money coochie. That's all coochie there. You know what I mean? Let me ask you one question. There's one part of your special right at the very beginning. It just confused the hell out of me.

What are you talking about with the smelly nipples, smelly titties? I've never encountered that in my life. You found a lot of smelly titties in your life? Well, a titty can be smelly. I mean, you know. I mean, it's in a place that it can draw its own smell. But if you let a guy, like I tell women all the time, make sure a guy brushes his teeth before he sucks your titty.

Because you could leave a titty, it could be a titty juice that forms. Oh, my God. you could leave a titty it could be a titty juice that forms oh my god he's got he's got a sensitive stomach this one I'm telling you you keep talking about titty juice a little bit more he might let it rip

it's right by the armpits too you know no it's one I'm good now it's like once I get that one cough up I'm alright it's that was fucking tough'm good now. It's like once I get that one cough up, I'm all right. That was fucking tough though, Mike.

That was descriptive. That was very descriptive. Well, I'm saying if somebody got like an undone root canal. Oh. There it goes. Rotten teeth. Rotten teeth. And they suck your titty.

He's going to puke. You see now, if he. Does that make him puke? Yeah, he pukes all the time. Anything that kind of grosses him out. See, now, if you were to go suck a titty right now, she would have a puke titty. It would be a problem.

It would be a problem. It would be a problem for her, man. Fuck. Yuck. Did you puke out there? I gave myself a headache. No, not really. I don't know if we're ever going to see this movie,

but you had the distinct honor of playing Richard Pryor, right? Is that movie going to come out? Well, I never played Richard Pryor in the movie. I played a little bit of Richard Pryor in a Nina Simone movie. That's got to be an honor. Yeah, it was. It was. To play the king of comedy.

Is he your number one? Who would you put on your... He is the number one. I don't know nobody funnier. Who's on your top five or a handful of guys that you would put as like your inspiration i don't do have a top five but he is my number one you know if i if i could say i had a top five it would be him at in the beginning the king of it, man.

Well, I mean, you're a very funny guy yourself. The special is hilarious. Hey, man, I hope you liked it, man. Did you watch it? I did. Yeah, we were just watching it last night. Did y'all both watch it? Yes.

Quiz me. You were looking sharp, too, man. What did I have on, man? Yeah, you had the black on black on black with the chain. You looked real good, dude. Did you see my red bottom? I did. That was a flex, by the way.

You put that whole bit in there just to do that, right? You're like, so I'm laying in bed like this, and my daughter, I'm like, oh, I see what you did there. I see what you did there. Make sure everybody sees the red bottoms. That's how you show people your red bottoms. You fall on the floor when you see them. Whoops.

Whoops. Stick your foot straight in the air. Well, it's very funny stuff. Go watch the special now. It's out on Netflix. Man, I appreciate y'all. Thank you, dude. This is cool, man.