KFC Radio - Iain Stirling got the Love Island Gig Thanks to a Puppet (Episode + Interview)

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Timecodes: 0:00 Start 08:20 Kevin is overly invested in Keegan's Little League games 14:25 Jackie vs Pavs sports leagues 19:09 We're grateful we've never experienced Sunday Scaries 30:11 Jackie's Europe content 32:18 Feits' well being 36:47 Feits recaps ordaining a wedding 43:47 Started crying and can't stop 45:47 Feits is on a massive Chumbawamba kick 51:42 Adam Wes got banned from colorado for having too much seggs 56:12 Jackie dated a boy who quoted Batman in bed 01:14:03 Video Voicemails 01:44:12 Iain Stirling Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Jackpocket: New customers, use code KFC and you’ll get your first ticket free at https://jackpocket.onelink.me/sY17/KFC GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, NY Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY. 18 or older (19+ in Nebraska, 21+ in Arizona). Void where prohibited. Promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit. Prize amount may differ at time of drawing. Terms jackpocket.com/tos/free-ticket-promo/ Gametime: Download the Gametime app today and use code KFC to easily score great deals with the new Gametime Picks! Chubbies: Get 20% off with the code KFC at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com Bilt: Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to https://joinbilt.com/KFC. BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Express: Use code SADBOYSZN for an extra 20% off your purchase online or in store Draft Kings: Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code KFC. GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, [phone] or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in NH/OR/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply.On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. Get 1 promo code to redeem 1-month of access to NFL+ Premium and max. $250 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: dkng.co/ftball. NFL+ Premium Terms: Offer only for eligible subscribers & must be redeemed by 11:59PM 9/30/24; After 1-month promo period, subscription automatically renews each month at then-current price (currently $14.99/mth) until cancelled; Addt’l terms: nfl.com/terms. Offer expires 9/19/24 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

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18 or older, 19 plus in Nebraska, 21 plus in Arizona, void where prohibited, promo code required for $2 non-withdrawable credit, prize amount may differ at time of drawings, terms jackpocket.com slash TOS slash free dash ticket dash promo slash. All right, it's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. Jackie's back. People thought you got fired. Everyone was like, oh, that bitch. That bitch lasted like one episode.

It kind of sucks that I like this job so much. And that you guys are so nice to me. Because if not, I would not have come back. Where were you? Yeah, I don't even know what happened. You went to a wedding, right? Yeah, it was a wedding in France. And then I went to Italy after. Hell yeah.

Oh, sure. Sure. Just making a little jet set around the world, huh? It was kind of a shit show. Every single thing that could have gone wrong with the travel went wrong. I was in an airport like 50 you with your time your family family yeah it was very fun it was very fun where in both um like what cities i go to france i went can usually that's what the question is santa pay nice pal. Syracuse.

I don't know the last one. Damn. Yeah. That's both countries? I don't even know where Palermo and Syracuse are. Yeah, that's Sicily in Italy. So it was just like, it was a lot of travel. It was a lot of, you know, but it was really fun. I'm not complaining at all.

I remember doing that when I went to Italy. It was like, you bounce all over too. And it really is though, like every, you know, you get like a night in one place and then you're traveling and a night in another and it's cool to see other places but it is like you're packing and i'm not packing i'm packing yeah yeah like every single flight got canceled they lost their baggage like like eda airways can literally suck back at x they suck so bad they lost their luggage like five times dude i actually like eda is it what'd you say yeah yeah either your rights it's not it's not even italian airways it's either your rights which is even dumber i think that's what i flew when my

delta got canceled i was going to italy and i was like these guys run this place like the fucking military like it was fucking you were on you were fucking going quick i i liked them wait wait no because then because then we like so then when we lost our baggage, we tried calling them. They were like, nobody picked up. It was like this AI thing, but the AI, like, couldn't recognize. Okay, I'm going to interrupt you real quick because I'm glad you said that. Sunday, I'm in two NFL fun Sundays in a row. I watch TV most of the day.

The commercial I see the most is the Google AI commercial. Yeah. I have no doubt that AI is going to do extraordinary things in fields that I am not really familiar with. How they market it to a consumer is the most worthless thing any time. It's a commercial

where they show how AI helps three things. It's a woman on a plane and it's like Google AI. And she's like can you put these restaurants on a map and that's it and then they put them on a map and like yeah i open my maps and i just type in restaurants and i have that and then the other one is make this picture a flower background and it's almost like like you know when like greens greens first came out on things and people like this is cool look at me. I'm in space. Only they're in a flower field.

And then the third one is someone taking a picture of a bunch of ingredients, and they go, make a recipe with these ingredients. Those are three things no one in the history of the world has ever needed. Like, in the history of the world, no one has ever needed any of those things. Like, let me just take all the shit out of the cabinet. I was going to say, if I could just take a picture of everything in my kitchen and the recipe, I would really, that would really be great. Like, I get so, I got so mad watching it, particularly yesterday. I was like, it's like the 10th time it came on during the past game.

I was like, no one needs any of this stuff. No one needs any of this. I asked, like, so one of our flights got canceled, and I was, like, trying to figure out another way to get to one of the cities without, like, a direct flight. So I just type in, like, how do I get to the city other than a direct flight? And, like, that should be a simple thing that AI can do. There should be, like, plenty of information,

and they were like, we don't know. I would just take a direct flight. I was like, what do you mean? You guys wanted a smart AI? Then you got it. Get a direct flight, bitch. Figure it out. Yeah, I mean, so you're not flying E to Airwell?

No, it sucks. I think it's over for airlines. It's over for airlines. I feel like airlines have had a rough go. Cancellations and all these. I hear nothing but bad travel problems over the last two years. But I, as someone who travels a good amount, I got nothing but great things to say. I occasionally get delayed.

Sure. I was going to say, I don't really feel it. That's how it was before. I remember over last summer, maybe, or whatever, there was that month-long run where everything. But you want to know a fun fact about that? That year was the least amount of cancellations in the history of aviation. We just complain more and we have more access. I really think so.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just like every plane that gets canceled, you're on your fucking phone saying my shit got canceled. Cause I was like, everybody, everybody in my life that traveled got canceled and I was zipping around. No problem.

I think we just have platforms to complain more. Obviously, there have been more flights. I think it was like a per capita thing, like lowest percentage of flights canceled. Yeah. But I remember that year, that summer, like four months later, it was like the lowest amount of flight cancellations in the history of airplanes. It's like, I hear that, but also it's like, well, yeah. I mean, they were hiding incompetence all this fucking yeah you know what i mean when it's like murders aren't up it's just like people are

complaining it's like yeah i'm complaining about the murdering i think i think we should complain about the murdering let's make sure we fix the murdering in chicago i think more people should be talking about it because if you if you're're in a small town somewhere and no one's talking, you just get murdered and it's over. As it should be. You get murdered and you get forgotten about. The world moves on. So I was doing sports all weekend, right? I was saying last episode about agonizing over what to do with Keegan.

And so we ended up going with um like the travel team but not the nine-year-olds right yeah and i mean these kids are fucking good bro these kids are all seven and eight and they are fucking nasty i was like i can't even imagine if i did the nine-year-old team so we had our first game we're in me and Keegan are in so over our heads me as a dad him as a kid we're like this is we just leveled up like a hundred thousand times right and uh Keegan gets up there and hits a ball down the line that was inches away from being a two-run double in his first game ever. And it goes foul. And I was – in the moment, I swear to God, if someone said, like,

give me $10,000 and we can rewind time and that ball goes fair, I probably would have even gone higher. I think I would have done – I probably would have given all the money I ever made at Barstool at that moment to just have the ball go fair and have him have his big moment. And so I'm like, no, it's like hauntingly – it's just like eating me. And then the rest of the game, you know, it was tough for him have his big moment and so i'm like no it's like haunting like it's just like eating me and then the rest of the game you know it was tough for him he's adjusting and all that shit and i'm sitting there and i'm just like i can't stop thinking about it and i was like keegan's whole life would have been different if that ball goes fair in my head i'm just thinking

like these kids would love him and he would have confidence and he would i was like he would in my head i'm playing this out that ball goes fair keegan as president in like 35 years i'm just like this would have changed the the butterfly effect this whole life would have been different and i keep talking and i'm saying this to everybody and then uh this guy that i've been talking to about like youth sports he goes no motherfucker your life would be different he went home and watched his ipad and like he's probably not even thinking about this this game anymore and you're sitting here still talking about it and thinking about it like he's seven your life would have changed and it was one

of the most like like smack me in the face pieces of advice i've ever gotten in my life i was like oh my god like this i kind of get how people become crazy fans now because i was always like i'm never gonna be that guy. And I would never be like the people yelling and screaming. But I was so deeply involved in it and so concerned about it and worried about him and wanting it for him. And it's like, you know, you went home and watched YouTubers again. But in my mind, that ball, I'm sitting there doing the Pacino

game of inches speech in my head. The inches you need are everywhere around you! I was like, I saw chalk! I saw chalk! Come on, man! Do you think you're more invested in his games than Matt's? Yeah.

You know what? It's pretty much like a tie, which is kind of crazy yeah because one of them is my flesh and blood and the other are complete strangers but but on the what like like if they it's just it's just like am i in it's basically the question is it am i invested as invested in my kids period as i am the mess yeah because it's not even about the sports or any it's just like i want them to be happy and good probably as much as I want. We're fucked, by the way. Do you think that you'll have like a...

It's over for the Mets. Over for the Jets. Kaz was just telling me before the show, I was like, I thought you guys were in like first place. No, no, no. We're chasing a wild card spot. And I actually really started to get hopes up that we could make a run with the Phillies with seven games left.

And I started running my mouth. And when we beat the shit out of them the first game i texted shane i was like we're coming for you bitch boy and then lindor gets hurt they like destroy us in heartbreaking fashion the next two games and he goes this is this is all your fault it is it's always my fault the other night when monday night football last week you tweeted like let's have a fucking night or something like that jets after the drive the drive. Mets just went up. Aaron Judge sucks. Within the next ten minutes, the Jets went down, the Mets went down,

and Aaron Judge hit a home run. It was crazy. It is insane. It was insane. It really has reached the point where I genuinely think there are some sort of like magical powers because it's like down to the minute when i say things it was unbelievable it's crazy it was 10 minutes i say three things the three opposite it's like i i but i can't i don't know how i make my money i can't not say things anymore

that's what i do for a living is say things. People are always like, shut your mouth. I can't. I can't. You want to pay me to shut my mouth? Fine. That's what I do. It's crazy how consuming, obviously, the world, but particularly sports through Twitter, is so mind-bending. Because the Mets, I was thinking about Chicago.

Chicago fans are always high up and down. It's always disaster or we're the greatest team in the world, and that changes twice a day. And then Mets fans I feel like get down pretty hard, but then when they get up, it's usually worthwhile, which is why I thought you guys were in first place. No, we're not in first place, but because we were the best team since the end of May in all of baseball,

which is a long run. That's a long period of time where it's just like you're just maybe the best team. But Lindor just got hurt, and so he's been carrying that team. And they need to make a run down the stretch. They had such a bad start that they need to overcome it, and I don't see how they do it without Lindor. Without Lindor, there's no chance. Somebody said to me, without Lindor, I don't even want to make the postseason,

and I kind of feel that. I agree because there's no point. You're going to lose. But also it's like it's him. It's his team. You know what I mean? He deserves to make it to the postseason. These other fucking bums that he was carrying with him.

But is he really out, though? Is there no chance? I think when you have a back, like if you are a guy who plays every single day and then you don't play against the Phillies, you have, like, a – I mean, you can't play baseball with a bad back. You can't swing a bat with a bad back. Fuck. So, by the way, well, right – we wanted to do it before you left,

but we didn't get it in. But we gave Pabst his big moment on the podcast because he had his big uh men's league basketball game where he scored 35 points oh no way yeah he said before the game i'm putting up 30 tonight he called the shot and he went and did it but you were saying that you you had a better soccer game right you were saying you were um well, I scored two goals throughout the season. So, like, I haven't really caught up. A little different. The way you were talking, I thought it was like two goals in a game.

Well, I'm also more of like a sister. I didn't have any assists, actually. I didn't know what you were talking about. I thought you were like, I'm just a sister. No, no, I knew what you were saying. She's an assister but doesn't get assists. So you're kind of like the sister to the assister. Like you set up the setup.

You're a vibes guy. I'm a vibes guy. The point was, like, nobody asked. I told you guys about my soccer league. Everyone wants to know about Pabst, putting up 30, whatever. Nobody asked about my soccer league the entire time. Well, you're more like a sister. Sports are kind of the second thing you do.

You're a sister. Nobody asks to be a sister or some stuff. Nobody comes in and says, how many assists did you get last night? They want to know how many you scored. But you don't know that. You guys didn't even know that I was in a sister until right now. Yeah. Well, I mean,

Paz came in here thumping his chest being like, I put up 35 last night. Maybe you got to come in and assert yourself. Yeah, okay. I didn't even know you were in a league. Did you know she was playing?

You'd mentioned it. No, I mentioned it like three times. I only hear about it when you were 12. I mentioned it like three times. Again, sorry, I don't want to be, I don't want to have to have, I want to have to have i want you guys to ask me i want you to be interested in the things i do i want you to ask me about them i don't want to have to tell you about them this is what happens when you let girls in barstool we let girls in

and ruin the whole thing and we did it again with KFC Radio. God damn it. I want you to ask about my soccer game on the show. Did you get any assists, bitch? Was it a real league, though? Were you playing for real, like people cared? It was like a, no. No, no, no, no. It was not real.

But, I mean, it's probably just as real as Pats is. Sorry, no offense. I'm sure it is yeah I mean all these things are ridiculously like you know you're holding on to youth

you know so it probably is just as silly that was an unnecessary jab I mean both of you will get to a point you'll both get injured

doing this at some point like 10 years down the road and then you'll be like this wasn't worth it but for right now you're young and you can do it

Billy Football asked me to be in oh I was going to say, I think I told you guys this, the Flag Football League. I don't know if that's going to happen, but if so, I'm very excited about that. Yeah. And that I can see myself doing well. You said you would fuck shit up in that. Yeah.

That I can see myself doing well in that. I can see you being good at Flag Football. Thank you. For some reason, offensive. Yeah, a hand-sized thing. Yeah. Oh. That's what I was going for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get you everything. She's got the biggest hand. Jackie has not fumbled. Jackie's like, who was that kid on the Bengals yesterday who made that pick? The new Odell Beckham is getting Jackie.

Just like this. Isn't it DeAndre Hopkins that has the biggest hands in the NFL? Jackie. Yeah. Checks. Like I will say, they're pretty good.

There have been times where I've been like, we should do hand-to to hand to make fun of Jackie how big Jackie's hands are but I won't do it because I know they're going to trounce mine and the joke will come back on me so I don't do it

I'll do it like children I'll be like damn they're the same size as me you would I'm like I got hand envy over Jackie those things are huge I also

I was going to be a martyr and like only dress and meet sweatshirts, but then I bought this darling little top. The podcast is so ruined. And then I couldn't get back behind the desk.

This bitch is a darling. Is a darling little top. Is this a, are you going out after? No. I also didn't even make the dinner. The dinner was at 7.15.

I didn't finish the edit until 7.45, so I had to like skip. So it was all for, it was literally all for nothing. So we just, we ruined your day and then we ruined your night. also didn't even make the dinner the dinner was at 7 15 i didn't finish the edit until 7 45 so i had to like skip so it was all for it was literally all for nothing so we just we ruined your day and then we ruined your night yeah we made fun of you all day and then and then that was my fault like i fucked up the edit and i had to stay longer that's on me ai will fix your editing that that's that's something i will do one day yeah it was like a it was like a big human error. It would have been hard for me. I feel like human error would be a good nickname for Jackie.

Jackie the human error nickel. That's so mean. I feel like that's a great one. The human error. I did a big fuck up the other day. Yeah, I'm sure. I'd like to tip my cap to you, by the way, after doing the last couple edits.

Really? Time-consuming. Takes a lot of... You have to pay attention a lot. You have to have your shit in order. Thank you. And you do it twice a week. You've passed it that many times the last week.

It's not an easy job. I was like, you guys gotta give more credit to Jack. It stinks. Yeah, it's... I've gotten to a point, though, where like you don't care okay yeah that's every job i like no no like i like oh you like it like i'm saying like you guys are are good to me it's a it's a like you guys make up for something happened somebody else had like told you a terrible story about their life or something like that right no no no really you just came to realize you'd like this yeah no i've always liked this there was a period where i definitely was like a little like when i was fucking up the edit

i was not liking it as much and now but now like i've you guys are really nice to me and it it makes you know like yeah yeah and it makes it just made me enjoy the job well that's great to hear this is one person I was saying the other day to fight and I was like I get so incredibly grateful for this job on Sunday nights yes because I could not have been more hungover yesterday the entire day couldn't get out of bed but all we have to do today, record a podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

That makes it a lot easier. Like, have either of you really ever had Sunday scaries? Never once. Yeah. That's – like, if I had to pinpoint, like, one thing about the job – Cause we always talk about how there is bad, you know, everything has its ups and downs and good pros and cons. But when you don't dread,

like going to work on Monday and a real job, knowing that you have five fucking days in a row is a mental disaster. It is a fucking nightmare. And I only did it for a couple of years. And I still, I was, I mean, I,

I really tip my cap to people who uh who do it because uh i mean i don't even consider myself like i was like i cannot do this and i kind of like got lucky and stumbled into this job but i also was like very very aware that i was like i cannot do this for like 40 years i don't know how people do this like i'm really not gonna make it no i'm not gonna be a successful person like this is not gonna work so you know I didn't like set out to find a job like this but like probably subconsciously I was trying to because that shit man when it's like the clock is ticking the amount of times oh well I get the chills thinking about it being at a bar for Sunday night football being like I told myself

I was not gonna do this like I was not gonna be out for the night game i was not going to drink and i am and it's coming and i'm going to be hung over and there's no stopping this train oh the worst but then but but the like not going out on a sunday is also bad because you were like i gotta make every moment of it yeah i've enjoyed my weekend because this shit's coming do you you didn't really have it either did you fuck you guys fuck all you guys before out of order sketches though i will i would never go out before like we have to film all day the next day i would have to yeah doing this is a little bit yeah this is a little more we're at the point where it's like set it and forget it i like when i sometimes like when i'm stressing to get here at 10 and then I'm like

okay but also like what's gonna happen if I don't get in at 10 I'm like I have a really cool job I quite literally say to these guys all the time

I'm like don't take it for granted and don't make me be a bad boss and you're like well I don't have to get here at 10 no but I'm saying like that makes me

grateful for at least you're grateful for the job At least you're grateful for us. At least you're grateful for how soft we are. No, but if you, okay, if you guys are, like, here at 10, then, like, I will. No, but I'm saying, like, on days that you guys, like, were recording at, like, 11 or whatever. Yeah. Then I'm like, okay, if I don't get in at 10. Then you just be here on time and we record.

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, but for the most part, I am. There's, like, every now and then. No, I'm like, okay, if I don't get in at 10. Then you just be here on the time we record. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. But for the most part, I am. There's like every now and then. No, I'm being honest. Yeah, you are. Okay, okay.

I'm not a big guy. Like, one of the real things, one of the things that sucks the most about the real life jobs is the FaceTime aspect of it, where you just have to be there to be there. Yeah. Yeah, you don't ever have to be here at 10. You have to be here the time we record. And you always that's what i'm saying yeah yeah but like if you guys were to say like be here at 10 i'd be here i am scared if we were to say be here at 10 you'd be here like 10 15 okay 10's like really early we can't we can't be doing 10 we can't be doing 10

but but i used to be catching like the 654 train. Yeah, that's great. That really sucks. 654 to like get into the city to get all the way downtown. And that was just totally, you know. No, I would kill myself. But that was my issue. I would love.

We got to do like an undercover boss or whatever those things are. Like a life swap thing. I would love to just put you guys like a undercover boss or whatever those things are, like a life swap thing. I would love to just put you guys in the corporate world for like a week. But that stuff, because it's something that was told to me a million times from Dave and from fans and from all that stuff. And it was like, yeah, I went into the profession that suits my personality. If I was a 9 to 5 guy, I'd have a fucking 9 to 5. But I'm not a 9 to 5 guy, so I didn't go get one. Yeah.

But I think you are the vast minority in that where it's like there's not many of these jobs. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're very limited. So when you get one, hats off that you were either you were talented enough you were but like in this we're in the barstool world specifically and i think it's because dave was you know obviously everything's top down like i remember one time i got a tweet once where it was like it was like philoburg so i was walking down as my i lived in the old apartment so i was like i lived on like probably walking on fifth ave say it's

like philoburg so you're walking down fifth ave pretty like slowly for it being i live in the old apartment so i was like i live down like probably walking on fifth ave say it's like file break so you're walking down fifth ave pretty like slowly for it being 10 15 in the morning and i was like i was like yeah my didn't i didn't have it my job starts later like right can you imagine saying that to like fucking rafael devers yeah yeah yeah whoa so at 3 p.m like hanging out like, my job didn't fucking start yet, dude. Yeah, it's like, I work the late shift, man. Say hello to somebody who starts at 4 p.m. Just because your work started at 8 didn't mean my work started at 8 this morning. Also, I mean, like, walking down the street slowly is like, what are you fucking talking about? Also, what was he doing on the street at 10, 15?

I always, whenever that happens, it's like, when you're like, what are you doing at a bar? Don't you guys have a job? It's like, you're fucking, what are you doing at a bar? Don't you guys have a job? It's like, you're fucking here too. So shut up. I also think, though, it's not like it's – I could probably drop you guys into a corporate job for a week and you would do it and be like, this sucks, just kind of like editing the podcast. It's more when you think to yourself like, this never stops. That's the really scary part.

So like if you knew you were just doing it for a week,'d be like i don't know whatever yeah it's not like the actual work is like hard it's boring and tedious most of the time and you deal with a lot of annoying people and it sucks but it's like it's not like it's like you know you're going to war or something but when it's like oh there's no graduation there's no promise of a promotion there's this this work itself really doesn't change like and i just do this until basically you're dead that's the part that was like every sunday night was like so we just do this forever and that was when it was still like young and like i can't even imagine doing it now really can't because i find life stressful enough as it is and it's doing this shit for fun when When you're like, you have two kids, and you've got all that shit going on,

and you're getting old, your body sucks, and you still have those shitty jobs, I guess at that point you're making, maybe you're a manager now, and you kind of mail it in. I think that's what happens. You get shit on as a younger person, and then when it's your time to skate skate by and shit on younger people you're like well i paid my dues so i'm doing it yeah you know i mean the cycle just never stops because it's like i don't want to keep going to work i want to take vacation or i want to go in earlier

or later whatever so i don't know game time is the official ticketing partner of barstool sports we've been with game time for a while now but they got a new feature that is changing the game. It's Game Time Picks, where it takes all of the brainpower, all of the thinking, all of the stress and worry out of buying these tickets, and it does it all for you, where you open up the app, you go to the event you want, and it feeds you the exact type of tickets you need and want to buy. So you don't have to search through every single one that's available. You don't have to peruse through tickets that are way out of your price range or shit that's really priced unfairly. They find the good deals. They find the good seats, the ones that you can afford and the ones that are you are most likely to buy and they feed them to you. So you don't

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Ain't that the best though? It's like you did the straightest thing in the world, have a wife and kids. There's two separate periods of his life, extended periods, like four or five years, where he just lived with another man. And then when he died, I believe it was his stepmother, which I feel like – I feel like I remember that, but it doesn't sound like it lines up. Having a stepmother in that time period seems weird. But the mother or stepmother said he wasn't very fond of women. He was never – that was the guy that eulogized me. Pretty gay, right, guys?

But yeah, it was supposed to to be great so I'm very excited to see that whatever it is you're seeing live Game Time has the tickets what never I was gonna

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Barstool Sports. You guys have me meet on Instagram, so you wouldn't have seen but like i crushed it with the europe content like i wanted these to be sick watching my content seeing that i was in europe and they were i mean i didn't like talk about it i was just no no but i wasn't like doing talk i was just like i was doing like the i was doing like the cool like oh was she in europe like how did you get to europe you know posting in europe you You were being mysterious. You were doing cool shit mysteriously. It was mysterious.

You didn't see me. You were looking this way. Paz was drinking. He was going. I was going to text you. I told him before, I said, I want these bitches to be sick. I wanted to be literally being like, oh my God, I want to be in Europe. Now, who are these bitches?

I don't know. It's just like whenever. It's like the royal these bitches. But do you have a couple people in mind yeah no no come on you got at least one person in mind that you're like i want you to see that i'm in europe i actually like thought about this i was like who really is this for i think i can honestly say like no that's not for anybody specific i i think i would say i would admit that i've tried to deep search like self-consciously like why really am i doing this but i think it's because i always see like all these people in europe and i'm like i'm the bitches that are sick

i've said this before too we've had this conversation on the podcast where like i see people doing shit on Instagram. I'm like I'm watching life pass me by. Oh fuck. But then John always talks about the legend being like those people are like fake and they're just putting up like one picture on their fake fucking vacation and they go back to their regular life. But it does feel that way, right?

Yeah. Why am I like why am I not traveling and doing these things or why don't I live there? Yeah. Like, why am I not traveling and doing these things? Or why don't I live there? And I feel like there's an entire sect of like humans that are just like, I'm going to do whatever I want, however I want, wherever I want, you know? And I'm just like doing, I've got my kids and my job and I remember, you know, I'm like normal, you know? Yeah. And it's like, why am I not that person?

Posting like takes control of, you know? And now it's sickening. Yeah. I wish I was John. John lives the best life out of anybody in the world. Why? Because you have such a good approach to life. You're just like, things don't bother you.

You're happy about what you're happy about. You're good. I would end some of the sleeping in weird bed sheets. I would make some edits. There's a couple things. That would change a little bit. There's room for improvement. No, you know what?

Physically, there's room for improvement. Your engagement with the outside world, there's room for improvement. Your engagement with the outside world, there's room for improvement. But up here, despite what you think, I think you're good. I think I'm better than I used to be, which I think is pretty good. That's all you can ask. Probably, I don't know how you take this but for some reason my mom like uses you as an example for like how humans can change but like she

has like a lot of strengths cause she'd be like look at John like he was depressed he didn't look good sorry I can't move no no no is that mean but I'm saying like is that mean is that mean is that mean but I'm saying like

is that mean no I don't think it is mean it's not mean she's right so far like I think because like obviously you've talked

about your depression a lot yeah and now you seem like happier I'm happy yeah so no you have to you've done a great job

but like I don't think that she was yeah she pretty I think like the long beard she's really like anybody with facial hair she's like whatever so I think that and i she was yeah she pretty i think like the long beard she's really like anybody with facial hair she's like whatever so i think that she again she's coming from like a mother's perspective but the point is that now she's like he is great do me a favor get shaggy again while you're happy i'm gonna do this because people i i never looked at that being like oh my god john

i was like he's got a crazy beard a crazy beard i remember there was one time i was on mother knows best which is alex bennett's mom's podcast and and she was like just she was like asking me about stuff or whatever and i i think i had the i i honestly don't remember it might have been hair or whatever she's asking about like hats i wear or whatever and i was like my rule with hats tends to be if i wear a hat one day i'm having a bad day if i have a hat two days in a row week's not so good if i wear a hat four days in a row call my mom because it's bad and i i kind of stand by that to an extent and But then also the facial hair at the time was insane. It's not that, bro. It was like, it's gone past the hat.

It's moving its way down. Do you think Outer Border is the difference maker? I think there's a million different makers. Drinking less and working out more and Outer Border. I think there's a million different makers. Drinking less and working out more and out of order. I think there's a million different things. I think all the million different things are all the things you've ever heard. Yeah. It's like I was living unhealthy and I live healthier now.

Yeah. And that's better. Right, right, right. Which is if I'm in a good space, that's the best advice I can give. Live 30 years incredibly unhealthy. And then it's easy. Start from the bottom. I'm playing NFL on all matters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you go back to your rookie level. You were playing a level up. You're like, this is fucking easy. Who gives a shit? Make your life as hard as possible for 35 years i do remember though you being like i don't get hung over and like i'm fine and then but i didn't i i never got hung over by my standards of being hung over and then i like didn't drink for a week and i was like oh is this not yeah yeah yeah that's

that's why i always say like i wish we could all just like walk in somebody else's shoes for like a couple days couple weeks whatever where you like see what what you know it's all relative you know it's like yeah maybe you know you're not like puking in the toilet bowl but it's like oh i'm functioning on a much higher level dude i on saturday saturday i was at a wedding i probably had like a couple beers and like half a glass of champagne and yesterday morning I don't even like remember anything until like 1pm like I was like I was like I'm so fucking hungover I just thought I was tired

I can't be hungover and then as the day went on I was like I think I'm fucking hungover how'd it go? did you did you how'd it go? I was the officiant in a wedding this weekend.

I think it went well. I definitely had a few jokes bomb. What does that mean at a wedding, though? No uproarious laughter. They're not going to be falling from the rafters at the fucking wedding.

I'd say i did what i set out to do i was talking to paz beforehand like i feel like when some people write a speech like i'm gonna make people cry or i'll make people laugh or i'm gonna do this like i just wanted to just do a quick speech and get out like i didn't want it to be like that was hilarious or that was heartwarming or that was heartfelt so like it was kind of a little bit of everything it was yeah it was the podcast yeah yeah a little bit funny it's a little bit heartfelt a little bit real a little bit of this i think that's what it always should be i think i think we have gotten to a point maybe it's because people post about it or there's everything is film film filmographers

or whatever we get video filming all that shit but it's like and it's it's good that you're like want the speech to be good. Yeah. But let's be real. You're 100% doing it about you and your performance, which is the opposite of the whole fucking point of the whole thing. Before the bride came down, I was asked, and I was just like, can you tell everyone not to take pictures during it? Just because they didn't want the photographer's pictures to have that stuff. Yeah. And I lost the like, can you tell everyone not to take pictures during it? Just because they didn't want, like, the photographer's pictures to have that stuff. Yeah. And I lost the crowd right away.

Fuck you. Because I got down there and I was like, can you put your, you know, we request that you put your phones away. We have professionals here. They're going to take better pictures than yours. Yours are going to stink. I was like, just use those and say you took them. No one's's gonna know the difference and like that would have won me over but i can see i can see the rest of the crowd

well fine yeah put my phone away i was like no one's laughing at this huh okay everyone here thinks they're a professional photographer okay all right good note good to know john should have started firing back at heckler losing the crowd at a wedding is a very funny very funny thought i gotta bring them back in with some sort of well then because no one laughed at my first joke and i actually like luckily i had a few of my uncles who you know i'm so it's kind of who i'm writing it for yeah came with me after like that was a great joke like that no one laughed but like that was good. I was like,

all right, thank you. That's what I mean though. At a wedding, it's like, you know, who are you even talking to? Yeah. What was the joke?

I just said that it was something along the lines of, I was marrying my brother. So it was like, for those who don't know, my name is John Feidelberg. I'm the brother of the groom, soon to be brother-in-law of the bride.

I was going to start this off with a little joke about their odd selection of an officiant. This is a great joke. The fact that this didn't hit is crazy. Keep going, sorry. We talked about this beforehand, though. An unmarried man standing here dictating what love is worthy. But then I thought a little more about marriages.

And historically speaking, that's basically every marriage. So congrats on getting an expert. That's a great fucking joke. that is that is a great fucking joke yeah and if you're at a wedding and you're not if you're if you're just not like thinking like one percent i guess that could go over your head if you're just you know what i mean but that is a great fucking joke anyway it's not like unbelievable but like it's a good like we're gonna keep this a little light yeah yeah i mean that's a great joke. Fuck that audience.

When that didn't get a laugh, I was like, I'm up against it right now. Flash the light. Get me out of here. Just cut to the balance. I got to go. I got to go. That is tough that that didn't get a laugh.

It got probably what it deserved. It got a chuckle. No, I don't know, though. But like, you know what? Again, all different standards here. We're not saying that you're fucking, you know, you know, Nate Bargatze up there or something. But like when you said that to me, I was like, that's, I like laughed here.

You know what I mean? So you're not laughing at that at the wedding. That's a tough grab. They asked me to do like, read a poem before, but they didn't. So then they were like, we'll give you the poem beforehand. But I sound like really illiterate when I read. It's like a self-conscious thing of mine.

So it's like, if I can't read beforehand, I get so anxious. And then they didn't send it. And then right before, they were like, you're just going to have to read it up there. And I had a full panic attack. I was like, I'm going to sound like I start crying. I like almost ruined the whole thing. I had to,

they had to not do the poems because of me. But that was this wedding. You just went to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of blacked it out. I just forgot.

I like, I really, really. So wait, wait, like, I really, really. So wait, at the ceremony, you're crying. I'm sobbing. And I couldn't pull it together.

Like the bride saw it and was like, just scrap it. Everybody else saw it. And then they like, they just like, it just trickles up to the line being like, Hey, we're,

we're nixing. Then I was going to have my sister do it for me. Oh, okay. But then they just nix the whole thing. Anyways, so. Thanks for coming, Jack. At least it was better than that. It could have gone worse.

I wish you went up there and just. No, I sound so. Do we have the poem now? I would love for you to read it. It was like, I was just like, if there's any kind of big word, like I'm not. Do you have the poem? I'm not doing it. I don't have it now.

It's on a piece of paper. Oh. I would love you to read it now. I have the poem. I'm not going to do it. We're getting to that time of year. I know my man Clem is a big believer in this. The hoodies and shorts weather.

Yeah. Where it's a little bit chilly. So you can go hoodie up top, but you're still going shorts on the bottom to stay cool and comfortable. And what better pair of shorts to do that with than Chubbies? Chubbies has the elastic material, so you get a little bit of stretch into it. They got all sorts of different

designs, so you get the fashion. And they have three different lengths of the inseams, so depending on whether you are a real thigh guy or not so much a thigh guy, they got you covered. Are you a thigh guy or not so much a thigh guy they got you cover you a thigh guy i'm not a thigh guy i got that varicose vein i gotta deal with that nobody wants to see that guy i gotta deal i i every time i wear shorts like i'm like oof they got you covered though they got the long they got the three levels if you're a

varicose vein guy you go with the longest one if you got the nice thighs you go with the shortest one and if you're goldilocks, you go right in between. You pair that with one of their Friday shirts. Nice and comfortable. Always comfortable. Always stylish. Whether you're going to a party, whether you're going to work, whether you're traveling. They got the swim trunks.

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And anywhere you travel this year, go to chubbyshorts.com, promo code KFC for 20% off. It was also one of those where I just couldn't get together. I just couldn't. You know when you start crying? I guess you guys probably don't. Have you ever started crying and you can't stop yes yeah yes but it's only

when i look at myself it's usually my mental breakdowns it's not like at a wedding yeah yeah you look at yourself crying that ramps it up that's what you know that meme when it's like crowd noise a thousand or whatever like it's like it's a college football thing if you like one of my most vivid memories of me crying was like my my grandfather was sick when i was younger and i could drive and i was driving to high school and i was i forget what song i was listening to but i was like crying i went high school into a puddle and then like looked in the rear view mirror and i was like oh god see i usually laugh, I usually laugh. When I see myself, I'm like, just look at yourself.

This is ridiculous. I think it's one of the weirdest things that we do. Crying is fucking crazy. Do other, is there anything else like that in the world? Do other animals have any?

Like, they, like, will, like, make noises, like, cry, like, screaming, you know, like, growling, whatever. If they're, like, but do they, like, get sad? I think that laughing is weirder, a weirder concept. Like.

Yeah, that's very strange. Especially being tickled. Like that's. That makes more sense to me than laughing about things. No, but like. Like your body just reacts to like something, but laughing, laughing is a funny thing to do. But your body doesn't react to like.

Like now that I'm just listening to him. Him doing that sound is like a signal of approval. Yeah, it's acknowledgement. People at the wedding didn't go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And that made John feel bad. That's crazy.

That's crazy to think about. That is very weird, yeah. And it's like there's different types of laughs. It's gonna be big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones. Yeah, animals don't want that i don't think so that's crazy what her yeah you gotta hold sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry the worst um should we get into voicemails what do we got is there any viral shit to talk about um i had a few things written down um i actually I briefly discussed this

last time I didn't discuss it I mentioned it I'm on just a massive Chumbawamba kick like how many songs does Chumbawamba have hundreds more than tub thumping I feel like we kind of talked about them.

Do you know the song, I get knocked down, but I get up again? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Okay. So that was, they were a one hit wonder in like the mid 90s. But the most, like that would be like my pick for one hit wonder. The fact that you're listening to them is insane. And I feel like we've maybe discussed them a little bit on this podcast before.

Your reaction is starting to make me think we haven't. But they are the most rock star band of all time. Jamba Wombas. So first of all, the music's good. They're a narco-punk band, which is they're anarchists. So they're anarchists. And there's actually the uh always had me a song recently called a song by them called nazi and it's just it's like there's

they're british which i think i didn't know um they're british band and they they're from like the mid 80s they probably started british no i thought i i it's a whiskey drink who drinks a vodka drink. That always felt British to me. But anyway, keep going. And the song is basically about how... That song does go so hard. Yeah.

It's a great song. It was a smash. And this song, it's kind of like pub music style. It sounds like something that would just be played in the corner of a pub. Yeah. And it's about how, basically, after World War ii we thought we killed all white supremacists but really when we lost the term nazis when white supremacists really rose because you couldn't put them in a box anymore and so it's like they're in the boardrooms heavy shit they burn down the houses but it's all to this like they said that after the war was done and it's like that kind

of stuff so like it's a catchy tune and then i was like this is a good song and um and so i started like reading up on chumbawamba and like again they are just everything about them you're like that's fucking rock and roll right there yeah where they had so so they were banned in the 80s they didn't get big until mid 90s and they they were abandoned until 2012 but like when so when trump went when uh tub thumper which is a song for the working class is they're they're they're socialists and that's some of the working class like i get knocked down but i get up again you're never gonna keep me down i get knocked down and um when that song took off the world cup offered him 1.8 million dollars to put that song in a World Cup commercial.

They said no. They said it took 30 seconds to say no to that. Wow, that is good. Then when – This is why you're a one-hit wonder, by the way. Yeah. When you don't do any of these things and you say no to all this shit because you're rock and roll. Exactly.

It's like that's why you're a one-hit wonder, but those guys probably wanted it that way. Yeah, like I'm not going to be in the machine. So then when tub thumping got so big, they became a massive worldwide success. So their albums started being sold in record stores at the time, Tower Records, Virgin Records, places like that. They said, if you can't afford our music, just make sure you steal it from Virgin Records. Virgin had to stop selling their music. Because they were stealing it. Everyone was stealing it.

Then they had another song that got fairly popular at some level, I guess. And General Motors offered them $150,000 to put that in a commercial. They agreed. They gave every cent to an environmentalist group that was currently suing General Motors. And then they won that lawsuit. And everything, I was like, fucking rock and roll, dude! That's what rock and roll is!

That's what's gone in rock and roll now. That anti-establishment shit. I'm sure it's happening somewhere, but you don't get that. You're not listening to them. They have a song called Give the Anarchist a Cigarette. It's a great song.

Did you see Jane's Addiction? Yeah, I did see that. Do you know Dave Navarro? I actually don't know the band name. I don't know Dave Navarro. Dave Navarro was the guitarist for Jane's Addiction. He was an 80s band, 90s band. He married Carmen Electra, right?

Yeah. They were a hot couple. They're still out there Jane's Addiction was like an 80s band, 90s band. And he married Carmen Electra, right? Yeah. You know her, right? Yeah, yeah. So they were like a hot couple. But they're still out there as a legacy act. And their front man, Perry Farrell, I think it is? Yes. Perry Farrell is like, I mean, he's looking like a thousand years old.

And so as I understand it, because I was interested in this. I was reading up on Reddit threads of people who were there and shit. He's just like, they're so old, you know, they're fucking, they're old. And he like, he's mad that the band plays too loud and he can't hear himself. And he gets like tinnitus in his ear. And then he starts screaming like the lyrics because he can't hear it right. And then the band doesn't like that he's screaming. And it's just like this regular thing.

So there was like a bridge section of the song where he's supposed to do a solo or something like that. And the band played through the... They chopped it short. It was his time for a solo or whatever it was, and they cut it short. So he goes over to Dave Navarro, like an old man. He throws his shoulder into him, and there's like a big fight on stage and it

was just the most like fellas hang it up yeah they did oh they're done yeah they announced this morning they're canceled okay that that that had to be i mean it for every for every like one you know rolling stones or whoever who who can just tour forever, there's got to be 20 of those bands who are like, let's just try to get together and make some money one last time. It does not fucking work. I saw another thing the other day. This is an old article.

I just clicked on it for the first time. I've clicked on it and scanned it, but I'm just looking at the date for the first time. Adam West, speaking of. Oh, we never talked about this. Oh, you knew too? Did we text about it? No, no.

You're talking about how he was banned from the city? Yes. Adam West. I'll give you one guess who sent me that and said, I wish I was Adam West. Dante. No, works at this company. Wait, what did he do?

He got banned from Aspen... Oh, Stu Feiner. The original... Yes. He was the original Batman on television. And he got banned from what city? Aspen, Colorado. Aspen, Colorado for fucking too much.

It was fucking too many women. Dude, Adam West is the chumba wumba of people. Where you're just like, this guy's a fucking rock star. He was an absolute gangster. So this is an article from 2019. And it's just about his exploits, I guess it will. First one, got thrown out of a sex party for staying in character. Where is it?

You got to think he's running around the sex party dressed up going like, pow, boom, to the Batmobile, bitch. Let's go. After stumbling on a sex party with co-star Frank Gorshin, who played the Riddler, Wes knew exactly what to do. Gorshin immediately went to character as Riddler, and Wes became Batman. That's incredible. They made people laugh so much, attendees threw the actors out of the party. Okay, next one. Like, we're trying to fuck, guys.

We're not here to watch Batman and the Riddler. Trying to swing, dude. Read the room. Wes once partied so hard he earned a 15-year ban from Aspen, Colorado. That, to me, I think he was fucking everybody's wives or something. It says West was only willing to divulge three elements of the party. Women, liquor, and police. West couldn't return to Aspen for 15 years.

He eventually received a letter from the city's authorities allowing him to return. Incredible. West reportedly copulated with eight women at one time. That's what's up. This is according to West. I remember one night with eight different women. Sex party is a harsh word, but it was eight at one time. I think that constitutes a sex party.

If I have sex with eight women at one time, I'm having sex with one woman and seven women are just watching. Yeah. You just become a performer for an audience. Wes would start sleeping with women at 745 in the morning. Hell yeah. Shout out to Shannon Sharp, too. Morning guy.

I feel like morning sex is adult sex. Yeah. Right? Morning sex is adult sex. Morning sex is adult sex. I'm not having sex at night anymore. Yeah. I had dinner. I'm tired. sex at night anymore. I had dinner.

I'm tired. I got you in the morning, girl. We'll have smelly breath, and we'll come then, okay? None of that fucking oral stuff either. Just roll over. Just stick it out. Let me put it in. Give me a break.

West introduced the boy wonder, Robin, to wild sexual debauchery. By the time West landed the role of Batman, he was already 37 years old. He wasn't a senior citizen by any means, but the 20-year-old boy wonder, Burt Ward, West was his mentor. So Ward was always game whenever West wanted to do something. In a radio interview, Ward claimed West was the primary instigator. When I entered Batman as a naive 20-year-old who had only dated a couple girls, I met Adam West, who immediately introduced me to the wildest sexual debauchery that you can imagine.

He'd often have quick-costumed sex between scenes. This is just a sex addict. I was going to say, this man is a pervert. This man is an absolute deviant and a menace and i'm sure that people hated him on set the best is like all this stuff is stuff you theoretically would be things you like you heard from set the kind of rumors all of these have adam west quotes attributed to them according to west because of the physical limitations of the costume you gotta have quickies like like he was disappointed it would have been more i would have put a bigger numbers

but i got the tights on west met the pope incredibly hung over um uh the night before west was to meet pope paul the sixth he got drunk per usual the next day he was standing online waiting to see the pope west realized the severity of his hangover if he kneeled down to kiss the pope's ring he likely couldn't stand up afterwards. So instead of the customary greeting, and because he thought puking on the Pope was impolite, Wes bowed slightly and shook the Pontiff's hands. Who's Pope Paul VI? That's the big one. That's the one.

Oh, no, it's not the big one. No. That's got to be before JP too. Yeah. So he's old as fuck. If you're meeting the Pope before John Paul II, you're old. The felon that I used to hook up with, was obsessed with Batman and would turn on while we hooked up

and would quote every single line that the Joker said. So it would just, whatever would go on. And then whenever the Joker had a line, this is probably not good to admit. That is the craziest story ever told on this show. True. Have I not?

I definitely told you guys at one point. No. Because I said, I can't watch Batman anymore. I don't. You maybe said that, but I don't think I knew the reason why.

And then I told my friends, I was like, is it concerning that it's like only the Joker that he knows yeah oh my god he was such an ick

that was such a low point in my life oh my god what kind I mean that was and here we go yeah

what was he saying what was he quoting every single Joker line it was the one but he was also like he was obsessed so we're talking Heath Ledger

Joker no oh wait what's who's the one Jason Bateman no sorry Christian Bale Christian Bale yeah so he was obsessed with him because he like kind of looked like Christian Bale like whatever like obviously people had told him that but like he was not clearly he looks like Christian Bale because he's a felon and does weird shit like this and girls are still fucking him so he looks like christian bale yeah no like that was just like a low point i that was he didn't look like christian bale well

whatever um but he just like would turn it on like it was like night like three of us. That is wacky, right? I'm not, I'm not alone here. Like that is like super red flag. The fact that you plowed through that red flag literally means you are wild. You got some shit to check. You got some shit to work out. Like what would your response be? Yeah. Yeah.

What would your responses be? Like, did you acknowledge it? I was kind of like, I didn you acknowledge it i was kind of like and i i didn't acknowledge i was just like i'm so like go with the flow with the flow that i was like at that point i was i mean a batman joker kink that that's like the that's like the uh match my freak but then once you do, I'm like, is no one going to call me on my bullshit right now? This is insane. That's a man who just wants to be called out.

He's just pushing the envelope and he just wants to be told, stop it. You never once were like, so what's up with that Joker thing? I was like, you are weirdly obsessed with Batman. And he didn't really... I don't know.

I don't really know what was up with me then. So obvious this guy threw down if you just keep doing this. Yeah. You can get away with anything. Yeah, it wasn't bad. If you deliver. That is... It would be weird for any movie, but like specifically Batman and then specifically

the Joker. No, then my final straw was, oh my God. Oh my God. He'd be such the X. Sorry. He was so, okay. Then when, what was it? The Last of Us.

You know how like the zombies would like screech? Yeah. No, but they would do that clicking noise, right? They would do the clicking noise? He was on a bunch of drugs and was peering around corners of my apartment doing the clicking thing and screeching. I was literally like, I literally like had like, mean whatever like i didn't know when was this this was like because last time a couple years ago it was only a couple years ago um while you

were working here this is all happening yeah yeah and i literally the next morning like ghost like i i was like i have a workout class like i couldn't even like in the morning i couldn't even like look at him i was i faked that i had a workout class i was laughing in my apartment again i keep doing that i left my apartment and i was just like i can't i can't this guy was creeping around your apartment going like yeah yeah dude oh my god yeah yeah and i'm like he's he had like a drug problem and like he'd i'm like but then i hope yeah i'm sitting here i, oh, this guy sounds all right. It's not like a good time. I don't mind.

Fuck him. Like, look, there's a way to do it where it's funny. No, no, no. It wasn't. He wasn't like that. It wasn't in a funny way. It was just in a creepy way? It was just like in a weird way.

Like, oh, my God. It just was such a. You know what I was reminiscing on the other day? Like, I realized I'm so fucked up. So, OK, so one time in college, I like on in my dorm, you could hear everything. I was like on the fourth floor. So all the sound from the below like picked up. And so you could hear like the conversations people had outside.

So one time I'm like I stayed in. I'm like doing an essay. And somebody I hear this boy talking. He's like dude like i'm seeing this girl she's beautiful she's funny she's like she's got it all going on she's so nice all this and i was like oh my god who is this gem of a boy who's talking about this girl like he was saying the nicest stuff i look over it's the guy who i'd been like seeing and dating for months. I go, ew! Oh my god, ew!

And I literally ended things with him after that. That's how fucked up it was. That's how fucked up I am. You were gross. I thought he went on to say something awful. You were gross, too. No, no. I'm just like, I'm fucked up.

He was talking nice about her. Yo. Yo. I don't ever want to hear it again girls complaining about the men out there but then okay also it clearly was like something to do with my because like when he obviously like when i look back and i was like how did i not like obviously i recognize his voice but like how did it not occur to me that he would be talking about me yourself is even so god yeah but i was like i was like well yeah he's saying that it can be me anyways so

there's that spot because he was so nice i mean that gives any more light into why i put up with the yes right right right right a girl getting a guy who talks to other guys privately about them that way is like the holy grail and you're so sweet. Get the fuck out of here. It was literally the sweetest and he told me that to my face later. Oh my god, it was the sweetest thing ever. That guy's like, I would love to hear from that guy. Yeah, well he probably thinks

I'm the worst. He's probably like Remember that girl I love? She's fucking a sociopath. Pretends to be zombies at night. Yeah. How long did you see the felon? Too long. Six months.

Six months is a long time. That's a relationship. I thought you hooked up with him a couple times. You were dating him. That was your boyfriend. You were exclusive with him? No, no. How long does it take for people to go exclusive? Like, I don't even have a guess i would think six months is probably a yeah six months three well but there's going there's going like exclusive and then being

like and i think i think you can get to a point where it's like i'm not hooking up with anybody else are you yeah and then there's also another level of like are we officially like boyfriend and girlfriend we're gonna like hang out with each other's families and do that kind of shit right yeah yeah i always do that shit right away i i think it's i always like rom-coms growing up i watched it was always like the mom pulls the girl aside and it's like he never brings girls home and like every movie that happened and I was like I'm not going to do that I'll bring you home for this weekend

this is the girl I fucked last night this is my family might fuck her next weekend not sure but right now it is weird when it's just like these are people in my life I'm going somewhere my family's going to be like, do you want to come? But I also understand the other side of like, you can like love bomb and all that shit. I do get where it gets.

You know, if somebody thinks that means something, then it becomes a thing. Right. But if it's just like, I'm going to be with my father today. Like, do you want to be there at the same time? It shouldn't be a thing, but it kind of is. I think it has to do with the fact that i hang out with my family but say i don't know these people i hang out with yeah right right right if these were just my friends you would meet my friends it wouldn't be weird in a week if you were like i'm flying home to see my family and your daughter that's a totally different thing but i think there's a i think

at least in like the northeast like you you live in a very small world. You know what I mean? Yeah. People who go off to college and you have a different life here. So bringing someone home can be a whole thing. That I can understand. Yeah. The first time you meet my family, it will probably be in the city. And then after that, probably the next weekend, we'll go home. How many girls do you think you've introduced to your family?

Ten. That is a lot Yeah I mean I'm counting Like high school girlfriends I'm only Do they care Like are they kind of like Can you stop jerking us around

I don't think so They never mentioned it to me They don't imagine much to me I've only I've only done it with Yeah people like I was Very serious with Oh really yeah I've only done it twice with people I was very serious with. Oh, really?

Yeah. I've only done it twice. Yeah, I would say I've had five girlfriends. I've probably introduced ten girls to my family. What do you think the quickest you had introduced someone to your family? The next day. Really? You met them?

One night stand type shit? I met, fucked, you next day we're at brunch with my family but that's also like twice but that was like in a fun way sort of like yeah yeah we're just going to a bar like it wasn't like it's like yo like one was in newport it's like yo my dad my mom coming down today like my brothers are coming like like like we went like the one i'm thinking of specifically was it was the house saturdays with boys summer yeah and oh jesus my the house i had was i mean say say this is the bar the windows out there are the house okay so like my parents are coming it was like let's meet at o'brien's and we were fucking 50 feet away and i was like yo my parents down at the bar like you want to go start drinking again yeah and it's more like your parents came into the party scene not you brought the party girl back to your right right but like when what was your family like like so like who is this girl

and you were kind of like i don't know yeah it was a fun time i don't know we were just busy fucking the joker did you tell your friends that yeah what did they say i think it was like i wanted at the time i was hung over and we like we were laughing it's like one of those things were like in context of like being like that was fucking crazy and they were like yeah red flags all around but like when you're hung over and laughing about it's like well that's just what we put up with and then like then it just like continued and just spot and just spiraled into like six months but they were sure they were like stop dating this guy and they were just like do your thing girl Um After all the felons The arrests came out

That he told me about Like I was kind of like That probably I probably shouldn't But then But I was like I'm not gonna Yeah

What were they like Drug charges It was like All DUIs DUIs And like one like Yelling at a cop It wasn't anything bad

Yeah Not like violence It was not my best but like i yeah i've been you were like you know like sex in the city you were like yeah new girl in new york i'm gonna drink martinis wear high heels and fuck felons who are obsessed with sociopaths but like when you're doing it like you're kind of like i don't know it's kind of fun yeah exactly yeah like if you do do that like i'm i was making a like a voice and making a joke there but if you like come to the city and you're like i'm gonna fucking wild out like because i'm also so

not like when you're like not like if you're like i'm dating this man and i want to like you know settle down with him it's like yeah you're fucking crazy but if you're just like i'm getting digged down by a psychopath i'm like 22 like whatever dude then whatever all of my relationships that ended poorly like none of them was i ever like this is gonna go well yeah it's gonna be fun we're gonna ride this till it's gonna be a fucking disaster and then whatever's whatever yeah well no norm normally i'm like so like i only date to marry and then this one like, okay, this is kind of fun. But I have not. And then it's fun to have experiences.

You talk about it later in your life, be it on a podcast, or just be with your friends. Like, that was fucking. I can't believe I was having fun for that. That was crazy. What were you guys thinking during that? I will say, I think I'm trying to figure out which is weirder and worse. Because I think running around the apartment,

making the clicking noises is probably worse. Like the Joker thing is scary, but the clicking thing is like, what the fuck are you doing? The Joker thing was almost a little bit like in the moment it's working. Where's the clicking thing? my god it was so whatever you're thinking show on yes no i don't whatever you're thinking about how bad it is make it 10 so bad it was so bad you just be on the couch hanging out and then all of a sudden like around

the corner yeah yeah yeah like and then like sometimes then sudden around the corner, and then sometimes he went to the other corner and he was on the ground and he crawled and did it. I'm so... I will put up with your shit, whatever. I'll play along with it. This one I was like, stop.

This is unbecoming. Stop. Oh my god. That was so bad. I miss playing Nightcrawler's Charlie. Literally. Literally. Yeah. And like, would he do the Joker voice? Yeah.

Like, and then they gave me the scars on my face. Like John said, this guy's awesome. I don't know if I would date him. I don't think I'd fuck him. But I'd hang out with him. I'd definitely watch Batman with him. I don't know if I would date him. I don't think I'd fuck him. But I'd hang out with him. I'd definitely watch Batman with him. I don't know. It seems like he knows his shit.

He gives me all sorts of director cut info and stuff. Actually, this scene. Dude, you just saying, I don't think I'd fuck him reminded me that I got an Instagram tag last night that Barstool Sports put up a clip that was titled, Would Sports Be As Popular If The Guys Weren't As Hot? I just saw that. I was like, would sports be as popular if the guys weren't as hot? I just saw that. I was like, oh, boy. The boys are getting roasted, I bet.

Yo. I stand by that 100%. By the way, I said it as a funny acknowledgement. If you want me to break it down, I'm 100% right. I'd stand by it. I'm 100%. Sports would not be as popular if the guys were ugly. They wouldn't be as marketable.

They wouldn't be as whatever. You don't want to say that guy's attractive. You like it and it's that popular because the guys are attractive. I agree with you 100%, all that. The clip choices are full-blown sabotage. It's like basketball players aren't good at sports because they're tall. And sports only exist because guys are hot i'm like you are you're actively trying to ruin the show if you want to ask me

to lie detector and make me defend it i will i will i was i was making a joke but i will defend it some dickhead does that just make basically clips it all out to me those fucking people who would do that those pricks what an asshole no that's what it's for that's the uh but i i i imagine it is not good for me in the comments i don't care the top comment was just coming out of the closet it's uh it's one that it's it's our you making the clips for us is one thing it's the people posting it to the main account. That's out of the question. That is like we're going to tear down this shit.

All right. Let's do some boys and girls. The worst thing about New York City is paying your rent. It is the worst. It is soul crushing. And you get nothing out of it except for built. Along comes built. And they give you a new way to pay

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Make sure you use that URL so that they know we sent you and start earning on your rent today. Hi. This is like the most awkward and cringiest thing that I've ever done before in my entire life. But whatever, I have nothing to lose. I was reaching out to see if you guys were possibly looking for a new producer since jackie's third chair and the

summer intern is gone i actually do know how to use promote premiere pro and um i am a fan of the show i i've been like watching you guys for a couple years now, um, but with that being said, I think I would fit in well with the team. Um, this summer so far, I was fired, uh, got my car broken into twice, same window both times, and then, um, I got a new gig, dog sitting for a week, but, uh, the dog died on the third day, So that's just a little bit about me. And maybe I'll hear back from you guys. Maybe I'll just show everyone and show the whole team and just laugh at me, as you should, as you absolutely should,

because this is fucking weird. But whatever. I have nothing else to lose. So, yeah, have a good one. Peace. Bye. I would love to see. What would you do if we brought in another girl on the team? How do you think you would what would Jack I would be fun. I think so yeah, oh

Territorial I almost feel like I would like like another like I need some backup. Oh, you know Jackie Baker where Hulk hands. Look at the size of that chick's hands. Jackie's going to hire a new producer and the first thing you have to do is check your hand size. Some dainty, like a perfect producer comes in with dainty hands. You over there, that butch chick, let's go. I need some big-handed bitch on this show.

What's the uncle's name? Uncle Jack. Did you say that? You said that, didn't you no i said hulk hands oh oh but i immediately thought yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um it's just a matter of time before um washed up somebody replaces like just get it over with just get it over with that's so can move to Nice. Yeah, exactly. Jackie thinks she's like 50. It's crazy. Yeah.

But that's all normal, right? Like, that's normal. I don't know. She's pretty fucking young. Yeah, you're crazy young. But when I was 25, I thought I was old. I was like, when I was 25, I was like, I missed it. But you're not 25. I was 25 i was like i missed it but you're not 25 i am 25 okay you're old i was like i'm never gonna be successful like i missed it i like you think you have such a finite window of finding success yeah like i saw like lebron say the other day he's like

i'm old as fuck for basketball but like i'm really young for like... A young human. He's like, if I'm remembered just for basketball, then I fucking failed. And you're like, yeah, you're 40 or whatever it is. But LeBron's a man. Huh? LeBron's a man. LeBron's a man. That is true. You don't see any successful... Oh boy. Well, no. No, finish his

sentence. Say it. Finish his sentence so I can say Gene Smart. Yeah. She's the girl from Hacks. She's the star of hacks who just won her third emmy and probably he's gonna go on a julia louis drive his veep type run i just like whenever i feel like whenever i see some that's another one whenever i'm looking up like so and so how old it's never more than 32 well you know you're looking at like hollywood like gossip yeah if you look at like you know but like i'm not gonna be starting comedic actresses and stuff anytime soon or like doing anything and like well that's true gene smart's probably a little bit what just like you know

don't think jackie's starting well gene smart's 67 gene smart Smart's old. Yeah. Jean Smart was 10 years ago was like the mom in Mayor of Easttown. Yeah. But she's had a career. She's had a career, but never to what? If she's not like a former star who's becoming a star again. I think she might be. Maybe not to this level. Yeah.

But I feel like she's been successful. She's certainly been around, but I think she's hitting her peak now. Right. Your peak can come at any time. It's fine. I'm just dead. No, I'm not saying you're feeling the wrong thing. Yeah, I know what you're feeling.

The number of people, I guess we see the internet where it's like you know the demelios have like 100 million dollars by the time they're like 15 that is not normal that's not usually how it goes usually you take you take your lumps and you fail and you get fired and you're down and out and like all that so the fact that like you you know you didn't even go through that really yeah no i know i'm not actually like i know i'm i'm actually like fine i think i talk about it a lot totally sounds like it but but yeah no i do think that if you're talking about it i think you're okay i think that about a lot of things almost like with depression and everything too if you're talking about and complaining about it like i think you're all right I think that about a lot of things. Almost like with depression and everything too. If you're talking about it and complaining about it,

I think you're all right. People who are really fucked up, are really up against it, are just out there trying to survive. You know what I mean? And they're not... Talking about it is the easiest thing to do because you're just like,

I don't fucking... This isn't an active choice. I'm not making the decision to feel this way. It's just this is a feeling i am right right right i never i i think feelings are hilarious i never understood people who are like embarrassed to share their feelings because like i don't know i can't stop this thing choose to feel this this is fucking i think that's what i kind of mean is if like you are like working like three shifts to like literally put food on the table and survive i

don't think you have time to like think about your feelings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, I was thinking that recently. Depression is for like comfortable white people. You know what I mean? Yeah. But also like I was thinking it. What was I doing? I think I was looking at a piece of art.

And I was like, no shit. Like this is nice. I have the time and the brain space to be able to actually like think about this art right here. So many people don't have the time or like, I can't even stop to fucking think about the meaning behind this painting. Yeah. I gotta, I gotta go do my second job and like,

you know, take care of my kids or whatever. So that's what I mean. Like some of that shit is very, it is a luxury. Yeah. For sure. I keep thinking like right now is probably like the least complicated

that anything's gonna like even more than in the past like i'm not dating anybody i'm not like i'm making like enough money where i can like buy whatever like it's it's only gonna get more complicated from here on out so i'm trying to be like but also it doesn't have to i don't know you know what kills you i i mean i if i i don't think complicated in a bad way by the way i just think that right now like it's p it's a straight piece it's it is just it all boils down to responsibility when you are responsible for shit it sucks when you are just a solo person and you are responsible for nothing but you and your life and you can do it to be happy or sad or crazy fuck a joker guy travel whatever you want and it just like doesn't matter the minute that you just have to

worry about other people's shit life sucks sucks i guess that's just me personally but like but even like when you're when you're dating somebody it's like even if it's good it's good, you have to now worry about that person and their feelings and all that. And hopefully the good outweighs the stress of that. It shouldn't be stressful. But it's like you have to worry about this person, and then your family gets older, or you have kids, or you have a job, and the job goes well, and you have to worry about this. The job goes bad, you have to worry about that.

As you go on, just more shit accumulates. You're like, I just have to worry about this, the job was bad, you have to worry about that. Like it just is, as you go on, just more shit accumulates, where you're like, I just have to worry about this shit. Like I think back to when there was nothing to worry about, and it's like, I can't even imagine that'd be awesome. But now I think I'm like addicted to that. Like I've been like, for the past year, like literally like,

I'm way too comfortable being single now. Like I love my time, my i'm way too comfortable being single now like i love my time my alone time way that's good no no like it's getting to the point where like i like will shoot down like like i i gotta like who cares no yeah but like i can't be like getting too used to you know or else then i'm gonna die alone i i i think uh it's the opposite i think that like people again same sort of thing it's like the amount of pressure you put on to like do to get married or have a relationship at a certain time in your life it's like it's so long to do that yeah because once you do it when you go to a wedding everyone's like oh so like when i know but that but that's

what's that needs is that's stupid they're stupid that's that's unfair to women because that's what makes you feel that way they shouldn't be fucking doing that yeah we never hear that no one's ever asked no one ever hears that when are you getting married right it's like i don't know i met this chick last night that i you should stand stand stay stand up on that one just stay single as long as, as long as you want. I mean, if you want to go date people,

fine. But if you're like, I'm happy doing this and people are like pressuring me, fuck that. Yeah. No, like I, I want it. Yeah.

I'm, I'm coming around. I'm coming back around to that. Yeah. Well then do it when you want to. But like, yeah, that,

that, that alone period of life is fucking sick oh man i yeah next place now i like we're not giving that girl a job though i don't think we have a spot right now i like her though yeah i like her the uh budget will have to be fixed yeah kfc radio don't know how to do a video but here it goes um i just happen to be looking out my window here and it looks right into my neighbor's kitchen and if i just happen to be staring off into space and she walked by at the wrong time, I could be looking right at her, which leads me to think, how many times have you guys been in a situation where you're just dozing off

and then all of a sudden you catch eyes with somebody that's like, oh shit, I wasn't looking at you. I just wasn't paying attention. Viva. Love you guys. I don't know about a weird window situation, but catching eyes with somebody in a social setting

or even just walking on the street is a little bit weird. I did that at the bar yesterday. It was a woman's nipple. I was not looking at the nipple. I was looking out at the water. And then she's wearing a very flowy blouse. And she fixed it and then saw my eyes.

And I was like, I didn't even register that there was a nipple in my view until the quick covering. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, God, that was a nipple in my peripheral. But then I was like, I was looking at the water. Fuck, God, you're sitting behind a beautiful vista. Honestly, you should turn around. The fact you're even looking over here is ridiculous.

What are you doing looking at me when there's a fucking beautiful flow of river out there? But I do this. I mean, this is all, I mean, I've said it. Awkward eye contact is your jam. But also the reversal with my, like, I can said it. Awkward eye contact is your jam. But also, the reversal. I can't believe my neighbors haven't sent me a letter yet.

Just being like, dude, stop. By the way. Having sex in the living room and stop. Because I have zero blinds in my house. I mean, you never have. Never will. Never have. I don't know if I'll say never will because I really want them.

I don't know that people do things. will because I really want them. I don't know what people do things. Should we just get John some blinds? It's not a money thing or even a laziness thing. It's the delivery. They gotta come and measure them and stuff like that because they're not regular windows. There's gotta be

a window company that listens to this fucking show. Who comes? That can just be like, I'll show up and measure your shit. Who come at 7pm? Problem one person i also just i'm so bad at scheduling i guess like i can people will you have to take the day off from work i'm like well i can't and i probably can i just don't know like what if something happens that day then i can't take that day off yeah the. The, but yeah. What's the issue? You like, your window's too big, you think?

Yeah, they're like floor-to-ceiling windows. So it's like, I can't just get like a standard window size shipped to my house and then hang it up myself. So like, I don't know. But like, have you, if I Googled floor-to-ceiling window blinds, you don't think something's gonna pop up? But it'd be like, well, floor-to-ceiling, how tall is the ceiling? I don't even know, like, how tall is my ceiling? I don't know. We gotta get you a tape measure

we got to measure this shit and a ladder because i don't know i can't get to the top of it all right let's get a tape let's get a list like a good like team diy also the window panes are all very skinny so like i don't know i'll have to measure that too i don't yeah you know you got you got to measure the height and the width. Yes. These are things. I think I'm going to do it this winter. It's just like have someone come decorate my apartment. But bro,

I, people keep asking me, you know, so I started the renovation and then posted about it. And now people are asking what's the update. And there's no update. They came into my house and they ripped up the bottom floor and the top floor

and then they disappeared for three weeks. They had not been there in three weeks. And I've just been living like, you know, with half my, like, yeah, basically half my house cut down with a giant dumpster outside and nobody showed up.

They were like, this will take like six months. Well, one month you did nothing. It been a almost a full month of nothing um so that's that's interesting can't have you can you today i'm gonna like do anything well here's the thing they are the ones who ripped open my house you know so it's hard now to be like what the fuck are you guys you know what i mean yeah've got to stay on good terms with these guys who now have ripped a hole in my house. Because I need them to make the house whole again. But I had a guy come by my house, a roofer, to look.

Okay, here's the thing. When you buy a house, you get someone to come do an inspection. And they tell you whether it's okay to buy the house or not. And I have to imagine they're all just paid off by people. And it's got to be the most corrupt thing fucking ever. Because I paid a thousand bucks and the guys come and they look and they do their inspection. You get the whole report.

And the report said, you have a slate roof house. Meaning it's like these slate things that kind of like interlock. You know what I mean? Slate roof. And it says slate roof can last for like hundreds of years. It's one of the strongest materials. This is literally like verbatim what it said. Like slate roof can last hundreds of years as one of the strongest materials in roofing.

However, there's a couple spots that need to be addressed. And I recommend you get a roofer to come look at those and patch those up. That to me does not not that sounds like you can buy this house and just like fix a couple spots yeah right the roofer comes he was like on a personal level offended by my roof he goes this is the worst roof i've ever seen in my life and he has i think probably a polish accent he was a white guy with an accent it was great it was awesome actually love this guy, by the way. We got to do some content with him, maybe.

He was like, the Irish can do it. The Italians can do it. And a couple Ecuadorians can do it. And I think he meant himself. And I think it's Polish or Eastern European. The Irish, the Italians, and a couple Ecuadorians can do it. Nobody else even knows how to do this anymore. Because it's such an old style roof.

And he was like, i was kind of like so what's the damage if i just like patch it up and he was like he's like staring being like don't do that you gotta do it right please i'm asking you for yourself like don't do it that way so i can't even imagine what the replacing a whole fucking roof is gonna be but um you know as always it's like it's the mush but i'm starting to wonder i'm starting to realize why i got the price i got on my house yeah but the inspection should have like said that you know what i mean the inspection was like yeah like there's a reason why this house seems like you're getting it for like half price it's because you probably need to drop like 130 grand on a new roof i'd be like all right that makes sense and i maybe still would have even done it knowing that but not

knowing that is like what the fuck man i mean he was like it was it was like someone like committed a crime you know what i mean he was like we need to track down the people that did this like they like harmed someone it's the worst because it's the just imagine me like you know just all the choices i make in my life all of them are wrong and this guy just going to be like it's the worst because it's the just imagine me like you know just all the choices i make in my life all of them are wrong and this guy just going to be like it's the worst i've ever seen in my life i was like i was like yeah it sounds about right so send me your quote and we'll do this at least you haven't had any ghost issues yeah well probably because there's no house to ghost all of the haunting spots are gone because they ripped them open god damn it all right next up last up hey everyone first time long time so i was watching a clip of macrodosing a few weeks ago

where they had jerry on and he was talking about how much he likes feet because of course he was talking about how much he likes feet. Because of course he was. The discussion got to a point where PFT pulled his foot out and showed everyone on the podcast that he could move his pinky toe. I'll show you what I mean. Oh, jeez. Here's my foot. Look at those nails. Free of charge. So all he was doing whoa basically whoa that

and when i saw him doing that i was like the fuck why is he doing this um because obviously i'm able to do it but But then everyone on the podcast was like, whoa, that's wild. That's crazy. How are you doing that? I was like, what? Apparently that's not like a common thing, being able to move your pinky toe. And I kept thinking about this. Um, a few days after that, I went over to a friend's house.

There were probably like seven or eight people there. And I brought it up to them. And I showed them what I meant. I showed him, I pulled out my foot and moved my piggy toe. They were like, no, we can't do that. Then I even showed my family. None of them could do it. I haven't stopped thinking about this.

I guess my question is, is there something, or I guess first of all, is that that crazy of a thing? Because I still kind of refuse to believe that being able to move your pinky toe is uncommon. But is there something ever in your life that I guess you were able to do that you found out that you were able to do that.

You found out that no one else could do, or maybe something like you knew like a common fat or something that you thought was a common fact. And then, um, later in life found out most people don't know. I think you guys get the gist of what I'm asking. Um, has anybody, And later in life, found out most people don't know. I think you guys get the gist of what I'm asking.

Has anybody else talked slower than this guy? I mean, I knew where this question was going four minutes ago. Just get it out. Is there something you can do that you thought is normal that other people think is weird? Done. End of wisdom. That is crazy with the toes. I was thinking the whole time that was weird. Yeah, I can move my pinkies, but to be able to go under

and over like that? You can do that? I'm trying to tell in my shoe. Were you even trying? I can see Kevin's foot going nuts. You were trying? I thought that was crazy. I thought you were just sitting there not trying. I was looking at yours.

I was at my right foot. Are people not trying to do this right now? I'm absolutely, you know. I'm figuring out and I'm impressed by how flexible I didn't realize that they were. I can definitely go out like this. Well, that's what I was thinking it was going to be. Because I can move all my toes. I don't think I can go up there.

Under and over? Yeah. You can't go over your toes without, he has a weird foot. You have to have a knuckle that's higher. Yeah. Otherwise, I physically think you cannot weird foot. You have to have a knuckle that's higher. Otherwise, I physically think you cannot do that. Yeah, I have normal toes in the sense that – Big, smaller, smaller, smaller. They all line up in height.

I think that's kind of rare. I know a lot of people have – They're all the same height? No, no, no. It's big toes big, next toe smaller, next toe smaller, next toe smaller, next toe smaller. Yeah, I have that too. I always think it's cute that they do that. A lot of people have second and third.

They line up. They get off the medical order. Okay, continue. I think most people have a second and third toe that are like almost the same size. Or like longer. Yeah. But I always remember that in locker rooms. Just being like, dude, why the always remember that in locker rooms just being like dude why

the fuck is that toe so big like i guess it's more like a hand is if you think about it as a hand this is your big toe right so if that knuckle so your third yeah your third toe is no but nobody has their third toe the biggest. That would be crazy. Not the biggest, no. But they're like. Like even. Yeah. But if your foot goes like a crescendo, like up to the middle and then down, that would be nuts.

That's so crazy. Yeah. Why don't feet do that? Well, they're different. Fuck off. We don't know these it's hard to know these things because it's i think it's most things you have to like watch someone live their life like secretly for like a week you know what i mean see all the things they do where it's like i always remember going off to college and just being shocked at like what my

friends couldn't do like like kids i hung out with in college just like like regular stuff like just i don't know in high school in my whole life oh because you were like living on your own kind of but i hung out with athletes like i played sports so like everyone i hung out with was an athlete so like we could do stuff and then like i went to college and i was like you know meet a kid at a bar and a frat or wherever i'd be like what do you mean you can't play cat yeah yeah yeah right right like what are you talking about like we got there they throw like that what the fuck is that dude what do you mean like you don't you didn't play sports like college college was like a culture shock to me in that sense that like not everyone played sports yeah yeah and so like

that then like sports gives you body control and strength and all that stuff so then like there's a million things that most people can't do that right you can do because you played sports right um but the i don't weird like weird unique things i don't think i really have this is gonna like coming off the heels of the last story this is just gonna make like it sound like i'm i swear i'm not like people all the time like left or right whatever but the in call like i saw this video in college being like oh i don't know what it is but but all guys choke me. Like, whatever. And I was like, I didn't realize until I was with my friends, not everybody gets choked.

And I thought that that was just normal sex. I was later in life, I was like, you want me to do what? That's probably the thing. That's probably the age difference there. Probably made a big difference. But I was like, what about me is giving off, like, choke me vibes? Like, I don't, like, I'm. What is the, it's Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

She's like, do you want to, the girl's like, do you want to gag me? Kinda now. Wasn't thinking about it until right this moment. So you think you give off Choke Me vibes? Yeah. You were about to say you don't. Hate it? Yeah.

Stop yourself from saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's probably the vibe. It's like when you grow up with a certain religion, you don't question that religion. Praise to the church of choke me i mean i i i can't say specifically but the fact that that is your answer is probably your answer you know what yeah like the fact that your answer was like yeah but i like it it's like i don't know probably in that moment the guy was like i think this chick but they don't know like i'm. Like, I'm not saying, like, I'm, like, disappointed when it – whatever.

Right. But that's – This is why I said there was another girl in the room because, like, being with only – I'm on your – No, no, no. You guys are – yeah. I think, though, that if that's what you do, people can feel that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That is a funny thing, to have just like your entire that's a good one where it's like oh I thought that was normal what are you guys doing no I feel that way about some of those things too it's like stuff that some people would consider you know

like kinky it's like oh that is like I was doing that the first night. But this guy and his weird toes is, he's got to have to, he's got to get this through his head. Yeah, I don't, I can't think of anything like physical or weird. People can like bend their thumbs and touch their tongue with their nose with their tongue. And there's those kids who could flip their eyelids inside out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's always a kid named Aiden is my name.

You're Aiden, you're an eyelid flipper. Why do those, like, because you've got to be the type of person to even try to do that. I don't think I've ever tried to do it. Yeah. I don't know if I can flip my eyelids because I'm not fucking trying. I could. You know, you do it with your hands.

I was in elementary school. I'm not going to do it now. I don't think I've even tried. I definitely could do it. with your hands. I was in elementary school. I'm not going to do it now. I don't think I've even tried. I definitely could do it. It was not comfortable and it wasn't easy, but I've definitely done it. Everybody can do it. I don't think that's a physical thing. I think it's a mental thing.

Everybody can do it. I think you can do it, yeah. But I don't know. That seems really hard. No, maybe I... I don't know. That seems really hard. No, maybe I... I don't know. I think there was... I've definitely done it.

There was a time in my life I could do it. I think it's a fearlessness. Yeah, yeah. Your eyeballs are like, go ahead, do whatever you want. And my eyeballs are like, stop! Fucking don't even do that.

But let us know. You got any weird things, Paz? I could do this weird... I don't know if it's that weird. Like where you can go like this, and then in and out. Whoa! I can do that, too,

but people do think it's weird. I don't think... Like, I've seen people be able to do it, but I want to jump here. It's like my party trick. I'm getting... Yeah. John definitely can do it.

No chance. What are you doing? Put, like, your... Like, touch... Have your hands go completely inside out. Oh, that? Uh-oh. I don't know.

No. No, John doesn't. John doesn't. Am I doing what you're doing? You're doing. You got to keep them like flat though like this. I mean that's weird. That's weird.

That's crazy. Because I'm doing it but my elbows are still sticking out. Your elbows are like perfectly in place. Yeah. That's crazy. I think there's like no muscle back here. I'll. He goes.

I think. I think it's a good thing. I think it's weird. You just turned inside out bro. You just turned your whole arms inside out. Yeah, how did you discover that? When I was like five. And then my daddy would be like my party chair.

Like, watch what Mikey can do. That's definitely something. Do that thing you do with your arms. That's funny, right? Mikey can do the inside out thing. All right, that's it for us. Let us know if you got any weird things that you can do with your body. Now we're going to get into our interview with Ian Sterling,

who is the voice of all the Love Island voiceovers. So for all my Love Island fans, he does that. Very funny comedian. One of the best combos we've had in a while, so stick around for it. And we'll see you guys on Thursday. KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. When you are a kid you always are you keep learning and growing and your brain keeps developing you keep learning new things and

then when you become an adult you just stop when's the last time you learned something new oh abram let me was i say chumbawamba is awesome um i i i i try i like learning you gotta you keep that brain in exercise yeah i exercise the brain pretty good. Well, that's why you got to go to BetterHelp too because it's just like anything else where you work it out and you use it and you make sure it's healthy. You do that with your muscles and your body and you train and you run and you lift, but you don't do it with your brain. And so you should take it as seriously, your mental health, as serious as you do with your physical health, and better help is the easiest way to do that. Whether you are just trying to keep the brain fresh and learn, or you need to work through some serious troubles, better help has got you covered with online therapy that you can use texting,

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It's funny hearing your voice. Yeah, that's the sort of vibe. I'm sure people say that a lot, right? Yeah, that's like the main thing. It's more of a thing in the U.S., I think. Well, I would imagine most people in the U.S. think you're Craig Ferguson first, right? That's got to be a big thing, right? I'm going to take this off.

Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Get comfortable. Kick your shoes off. Do whatever you want, man. But a bit of body confidence. Dude, you know what's crazy? I walked in here. Paz might have caught me on this.

I walked in here, took the vest off, put it on the back of a chair, and ran away. This doesn't really look right. No. right away this doesn't really look right no i am when i like i basically go through wait you can like if you watch me my clips of me doing stand-up you can tell when i'm in shape because i'm wearing a light colored t-shirt and nothing else and at the minute i am very much in black jumper vibes and the thing is because i've put on a bit of weight what's more annoying is my wife always points out to me it's like i'm just constantly doing this well this is i mean this is the equivalent i don't know of like you know like makeup for a guy or something

you gotta keep it off your body i said no you ever got to that i got that you ever got to that weight where you start sweating from there oh yeah i used to say i've put on so much weight my stomach's got a forehead it's rough now you're looking good though man if this is you at your worst yeah man you're good yeah no i'm all right i'm not documentary big or anything you got you got that look like where you're like i can do whatever i want where like you're like i could like like it's fashion week right now i can see you just fucking throwing a little gel in the hair and being like,

well, now I'm at fashion week. Totally. I went to VMAs last night, man. Oh yeah, was that? Yeah,

it was cool, man. Just madness, isn't it? What the fuck were the VMAs doing at UBS? What, do you know what?

Hey, I'm not America. I'm not here to tell you to do your thing, but I don't care if Sabrina Carpenter's there. Two and a half hours is too long.

I'd fucking drive. It was ridiculous. UBS on Long Island? Yeah, like, I wasn't care if Sabrina Carpenter's there. Two and a half hours is too long. I'd fucking drive. It was ridiculous. You'd be on Long Island? Yeah, like, I wasn't watching. No, people in Long Island are like, that's a trek.

It's crazy. I'm a hockey fan so when the Bruins play the Islanders I go out to the games and I'm always like, I'd never come out here for anything else

but I was thinking last night, I'm like, what the fuck? Is Taylor's... $250 Uber. Yeah. Dare I say that the V, I'm like, what the fuck? Is Taylor's... $150 Uber. Yeah. Dare I say that the VMAs just ain't what it used to be, and they don't like they used to do, like,

the Garden or LA or something? But, like, I mean, everyone's there. Yeah, I was going to say Taylor was there. Taylor's there. Taylor doesn't go to fucking Long Island. Taylor pulled up to a combo racetrack rink. Yeah, right, right. That's what the place is.

If you get Taylor to go beyond Long Island, you are still big deal. Yeah. Right. I guess so. She probably had to stay in like a Holiday Inn or something. There's like nothing else there. I'm sure she had like a helicopter.

Bring her and take her. There's so much staying on Long Island. Get the fuck out of here. I texted Frankie. I was like, what the fuck are the VMAs doing at UBS? He's like, I'm texting Matt Barzal, who plays for the Islanders. I'm like, dude, is Eminem VMAs doing at UBS? He's like, I'm texting Matt Barzal, who plays for the Islanders. I'm like, dude, is Eminem just getting ready in your locker room right now?

Yeah, probably. I mean, they might have just thrown a boatload of money at VMA and TV. But, mate, they had everyone, man. Yeah. Yeah, it did seem like a big year on us. It was insane. I don't know if it's the same in America, but when you go to those awards things in the UK, there's two performances and then like three hours of just like...

Bullshit. And people collecting awards for like, the best production on a mini independent documentary. I could have made one of them last week and won this. This is bullshit. Yeah. But last night was just like, banger, banger, banger, banger.

That's crazy. And it also made me realise I'm getting like that bit older man how old are you 36 how old are you I'm 39

39 there's a girl on stage called Lisa she was in like a K-pop band she went independent she was doing a song called Rockstar

I was like never seen it or heard it I was like this is banging I was like I've got a few followers on Instagram

I might give her a little mention on my story tell me how many tell me how many. Tell me how many followers she has. Stop putting her name into Instagram. 109 million followers. I was like,

190 million. I was like, bro! Let me give you a little shout out. I'm a comic from La Valle. Let me help you out. I was like, hashtag follow for follow. 190 million.

Dude, that's the thing about the world now. Like there are people, and it's about getting old, but also just like the way the world is now. There are people who you have never even heard of, seen, nothing.

And they will have a monster career. Millions of dollars, millions of followers. And you're like, I've never even, I don't even know someone who knows them. Even more wild, there'll be people that have got careers on things that you've never even heard of. Like, I stream a lot, so I know it but i've got got mates are like they'd be like have you heard of this person like this streamer they're like i don't even know what twitch is yeah yeah right right right yeah like my normal friends like my regular like just adult friends who have like kids and lives are like they don't know what i'm talking about who i'm talking about they don't

know anything they stopped at like facebook and instagram that's it yeah it feels like we're like pre-world war time or some guy going, what is this television? Yeah, no, it really is. It was like, we said this before, we're like, excuse me, in my memory... You went really innocent then when you said that. What's that?

You just went, excuse me. You just went really to me. I like how you went innocent. It's like you came out of character, but excuse me. I feel like I just burped on a show. That's very fitting for your benefits. But it feels like back in the day, there were like 10 famous people.

Yeah. And it was – You knew all of them. You knew all of them. And now you can be really famous. You can be at the VMAs. And you'd be like, I never even heard of the platform this person is famous on. Exactly.

There's like so many different avenues. What do you do to make your money, let alone have I seen it? Yeah, the people, I mean, that Lisa girl was more famous than the VMAs. Yeah, yeah. 190 million is like, there's not many people else up there. That's insane. Bananas, man, bananas.

But yeah, it was really cool, man. Wait, so you said you stream a lot? Yeah, I used to. That was like basically gaming streaming? Yeah, gaming. So I play FIFA. Got it. Always have done.

And then in lockdown, I was just like, let's go for this, man. Oh, yeah. And that was Love Island UK had been going for a while. Yeah. Because they're on season what?

Like 13 or something like that? Yeah, it was 10 years next year. So I think we've done a couple of doubles and I'm like one year off for COVID. Got it. Only one. So at that point,

you've already been doing that for a while yeah but uh and and so you're streaming all through covid just yeah man it was like it was i mean ultimately it was like how do i i'm in the house every day with my wife how do i sell gaming every day so i'll make it a job but then I'm working honey! I'm working in here! I'm just giving it to some 40 year old French kid. Fuck you bitch! That happened to me, I just kind of got back into video gaming and I didn't realize, I still just play by myself. I'm not ready to like play with people yet. But I was playing an older game called Watch Dogs which which is like... Oh, what a game. Okay.

The first one. It's kind of like there's a GTA element to it. The Watch Dog bit where you do the big football stadium heist thing at the beginning. It's so sick. It's incredible. It's incredible. So they had like a you can play against each other sort of mode where you can connect with other people, but you're still not talking to them. I didn't think I was.

All of a sudden, I guess I left my controller speaker on. That thing needs to end. It's happened to me twice. The first time, all of a sudden, I suck at playing against each other. I fucking suck. And I also come to learn there are kids playing on the computer

who can just click on you and you get shot. And I'm sitting there with my controller trying to move it around. So I'm just like, bam, dead, bam, dead, bam, dead. I'm like, I fucking suck at this game. And all of a i'm sitting there with my controller trying to like move it around so i just like bam dad bam dad i'm like i fucking suck at this game and all of a sudden i hear through my controller like you know words we can't say this guy sucks and i was like what what is going on i realize you're talking to me through my controller i can i still play fifa i play i used to i became so obsessed with fifa i played nothing else but played online it's just not a look when you get a bit older because you need to play single-player games

and be able to pause it and be a normal person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is nothing less attractive than... This is not just a wife thing. She just happens to be in the house. But anyone being like, can you do this thing? You're like, oh, in a minute! I'm just finishing this thing that doesn't matter!

It's so true. It's so unsexy there was a a picture that went viral last week it was a fake uh like uh chart but it still rings true it was like the number one most unattractive hobby that a guy can have and beneath it was like being an online troll like being a gambling addict all these other things but at the top was video gaming girls yeah hate it my friend and i think about this but one of the big ones in uk's football manager i don't have got like an american equivalent but you just manage a football team but you're like do all the contracts and formations and you don't play the actual game at any point you just press play it and literally yeah Just simulate. It's like, but that's like,

that's responsible for like more divorces than like infidelity in the UK. I believe it because I mean, you play for like hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

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and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours

and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours suit on for it I've seen the people say things like like you know how guys would make fun of astrology and stuff like that and like

you don't think this stuff matters you manage a fantasy football team and that's what you base your joy on also I always manage the time sync

so when I had children I thought I'm not going to do FIFA anymore so I'll do FPL we call it but it's fantasy premier league

and I'm like you can make in the UK one you can make one transfer a week that's it so maybe it's a bit labour intensive and I was like

I watch hours of YouTubers talking about it tinker with my team phone call and I'm doing one and I've yet again managed to fill all that time

that was freed up with FIFA by doing Fantasy I'm like this is insane so you thought it was more reasonable to play fantasy than it was to play FIFA? Well, I just thought as well, you can do it on your phone, like when you're like going somewhere, rather than like just get home and be like, I'm going to go upstairs. I'm a teenage kid. My wife like locked in a room. There is something so, so humiliating about it it's gross it is gross i wish it wasn't but it was so fucking enjoyable it's like the only thing i like doing but i'm like yeah i i'll even even

if i'm alone sometimes i'm like i just gotta put this down and i'll go do like one thing i'll like go like check the mail i like go to the mailbox i'm like i did something yeah man i think it's maybe like my attention span and all that as well. I can actually, I can't even sit and watch a film without like, on my phone.

I know. So there is something to be said about the game I can like sit and actually do. I think it's something to do with like, you're watching something

and your hands are like, doing something. Yeah, you're actually doing something rather than just like, Yeah, it's like a man building a house or something. Yeah, we're real men.

Well, I mean, I do that as well. You ever do that? Like, I play like Minecraft sometimes. I'm like, let's see, build in a house or something. Yeah, we're real men. Well, I mean, I do that as well. You ever do that? I play Minecraft sometimes. I'm like, let's see you build in a fucking house. And we're getting extensioned on it. My wife's like, have you checked up with the builders? I was like, no, because I was building my own imaginary house.

My vanity house. Dude, I'm getting work done right now, too. It's a fucking disaster. Oh, it's a disaster. Yeah, you've just got to get the right people. It's worse if you're a bloke in it, because we're meant to these things and we just don't know no we don't i mean my dad did know it and yeah he just didn't pass it on to me i think because it's a fucking pain in the ass to teach kids things i can't even i can't even teach my kid regular shit let alone if i was to start to teach him how to like

you know do carpentry yeah and so i think he tried and i was like hard and he was like go play video games no i used to think parents done stuff for their kids because they were like spoiling them and they were like precious parents and all that just the reason is because kids are at doing stuff they suck they suck at doing things you get your dog you get your child dressed not because you're trying to do them a favor just to be there all day yeah i'm not gonna get out of the house yeah get them but it's like can you put your dish in the sink they can't do that no i'm like how can you not just put the fucking dish in the sink they put it in with the food they don't know how to put in the garbage i'll just do it i'll just fucking do it just go

go play video games i'll do it that's how you that's how you make a weak little man exactly that's why that's why i'm like going to builders and being like, how much? And he goes, like, $5 million. I'm like, okay. Sure, sounds good. Whatever you want. I was talking to a buddy the other night who just had a son. He has two daughters already. And I was like, oh, are you excited for a son? Whatever.

And he's like, not really. This kind of sucks now because I kind of fell into the figure it all out I have girls hole and like yeah right they're like I don't know I don't have to do any studying

to raise a woman the best I know how to yeah he's like but I have to now I'm responsible to raise a man the pressure's on you

and he's like I have to learn how to be a man if your son yeah I have to learn how to be a man so my son can be a man yeah that sucks

I teach myself all this stuff and then teach him yep once you have if you have a boy that's fucked up, it's, you know, they're looking at you. Yeah, right. That sucks. Yeah, it's on you as well.

If he does some mad stuff, you're like, yeah, that's coming from me. Right, right, right. No one is looking at a boy who's, like, you know, covered in, like, paint and, like, ruined the house being like, get that from your mother. That's not fucking how it works, though. Fall is here, pretty much. We're right around the corner for fall fall is for fits summer time is a nightmare for getting your fits off at least for guys like us usually dress like a five-year-old boy right right t-shirts and shorts yeah no it's not it's not our scene but fall comes around and you can really start dressing and right now express is is doing their thing, both for men and women.

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express cart today how old are your kids three i've got one okay yeah she's great she's great man and it's like we brought her here new york new york's great for like i thought it'd be sort of like i mean you love dogs so much more which is weird i'm not used to people we are uh kind of starting the movement in america of like we gotta pump the brakes with the dogs like i like dogs too but it's just fucking insane how much i go to the park first of all it blew my mind is like normally even in london which is pretty similar to new york people will still move out your way and you've got like a prime over people do not give a fuck but if you've got a pug people are like ah and then no one everyone's dogs in a bag

strollers and shit yeah strollers that you all know that's mad right we no no we do people walk their dogs in a bag to a park i might just walk it to the park and you're done it's crazy it's fucking yeah you don't even do the bargain i had a woman the other day she had a she had like this like mastiff thing it's massive and a louis vuitton bag and she was saying um oh i just can't afford like kids and i was remember thinking like well for starters you could sell the bag there's the first three years taken care of like a two bed in new jersey for the price of that bag the people who have kids in New York are crazy. I had a couple of cousins who like grew up in Manhattan and it's just like,

you're not normal. You're not a normal kid. You're taking the subway when you're like four years old. Yeah. I think that's from Scotland. So it's always sort of rural by default, but I quite like the idea of like city living. Yeah.

A little street wise city kid. A five year old going, I'm walking here. Well, that's the thing. quite like the idea of like city living yeah a little streetwise city kid a five-year-old by the time they're like middle school like walking the streets that we always say walking the streets of new york like i'm not scared of like walking at night i'm scared of walking at like 3 p.m when when the public schools in new york get out mom and there's like a bunch of teenagers like just mobbing you in the streets just like clowning you and they you look like you dress like an idiot talk like an idiot to them. They think you're a loser.

You're like, okay, just leave me alone. There's nothing scarier than teenagers. There's dogs and teenagers everywhere. I remember how I felt when I was a teenager, which I was scared of everybody. And now I'm scared of teenagers. They're not scared of anybody. I think they are.

You think so? I think they are. You think so? I think teenagers are the perfect example of like when you see like an animal and people are like, he's more scared of you than you are of him. Yeah, okay. Like if shit ever really went down. I don't think so. I'm scared of this fucking snake, dude. They do. What I like though is that lot do a lot more of their

own stuff like i don't know it's like in america but in uk for a millennial teenage years were like how do i fit in like what do i wear what do i listen to how do i just not stick out in any if there's a little thing you could wear like the wrong color t-shirt one day and that's you for the rest of the day whereas everyone now sort of like it's almost like they're all you don't want to fit in you're trying to see these people friends it's like goths and preps like walking hand in hand it's like the it's the american dream i was like you should be kicking the shit out there's not much bullying anymore I will say that we need to bring back a little bit of bullying

but yeah the dog thing the dog thing is like it's mad I've seen dogs and what are they called Uggs, not Uggs Crocs oh yeah yeah even that response no that's mad

there's nothing you can say that will make me go because I'm I believe it all I'm with you 100% of the way where like we have I've said like

dogs have taken over it's almost like this is like the like patient X or like the yeah yeah yeah of Planet of the Apes

where dogs we started letting them in restaurants and then 20 200 years from now they take over the yeah you just sit up on seats in restaurants and stuff there's years from now they take over the yeah you just sit up on seats in restaurants

and stuff there's like no dog signs people just walk in like nah it doesn't matter doesn't apply to my baby there was I was in

West Village it was at like Hudson something this restaurant and I was indoors and there was a guy sitting at the bar who did that fucking move

that I hate like where he he basically just put his dog's leash on, like, the handle of it under his chair. So he doesn't have to watch anymore. He's sitting on the chair. The dog can't go anywhere.

And the dog was just sitting in the middle of the restaurant, just sitting there. And all the waiters, the wait staff, stepping over it. And I'm like, no one said anything. I was like, this is crazy. Like, he's very much inconveniencing a huge swath of service people. Yeah. And no one seems to give a shit about this you just yeah stop on that dog you'd be dead you i mean that

that restaurant would kill you like when you used to walk the street dogs crocs off and slap we used to walk the street the dogs i honestly think i know i'm crazy i honestly think they've like talked to each other and they're like, yo, they let us do anything now. Because when you used to walk the street, the dog used to get out of your way. Dogs don't get out of my way anymore. Dogs, you better move, bugger. Have you seen a dog walker yet in New York?

They have like a thousand. It looks like someone's bought Santa Claus off Wesh. Yeah. Just like getting dragged along. You're like, you're going to kill someone. If those dogs ever all like decided to just go dog walkers yeah and those dogs are gone genuine question is that because new york's so expensive people aren't having kids so they've just replaced kids with because there's loads

of dogs in london we've got loads of dogs in london but people treat them like dogs i don't is it because of the landscape you can't walk a dog like 500 blocks or what? I don't think it's just American culture. I think Americans are just dickheads I don't think people are actively making the choice like I'll have a dog instead of a kid Yeah, like it's also not just New Yorkers like like we're not having kids anywhere Do people say this over there? Do they do people say having a dog is like having a kid? It's like the same thing as having a baby?

Yeah, it's like so bad because we hear that a lot and then I had a kid and i'm like not the fucking same thing at all is it tom segura i could have got the wrong comment but he's got that amazing bit where he goes up he go i know what it feels love because i love my dog and he goes yeah listen i love my dog because how much i love my kids if my dog bit my kid i would fucking kill my dog i would take a gun and shoot my fucking dog. I think it's told. It explains it perfectly. People do not get that at all. It's like,

it's, it's, I love my dog, but it is not. Also, you know, you leave your, your dog alone for a little bit and like the house gets torn up.

You leave your kid alone for a little bit and they fucking die. You go to jail. Yeah, you go to jail. So how did the to jail. I'm going to jail. So how did the Love Island thing come about? Did that just like fall in your lap or did you go after that

or what? It really did, man. Like most best things, you sort of make all these plans. I was just doing stand-up and then I was at university doing stand-up

and I got, I was actually a kids TV presenter when I first started. Like I got a job on kids TV at the BBC. What a creep. Time to get into that industry. I got a job on kids TV at the BBC. What a creep. Time to get into that industry.

A few years back, I'm a kids TV presenter. People are like, nope. No, I'm not. They've got a lot of documentaries about those guys. Wait, what does that mean? Kids TV presenter? In the UK, there's the BBC. I've got

their own children's television channel sure and then there's a the continuity presenter so it's like quite well known you sort of like it's basically you and a puppet i had a puppet dog and we like linked into all the shows you can youtube next up is sesame street hacker get the fuck out of here that's hilarious yeah so i do all that and then done all that we've done loads of stuff we've done like yeah

and we got on really well it was really funny like it was really actually the guy that was the puppeteer was like a really guy called Phil Fletcher like really

odd funny guy liked all the same sort of comedy that I did so we ended up neither of us really wanted to do it long term but we just had so much fun

we did it for ages and I'd done a I'd done a I'd done the voiceover on a show called who let the dogs out on gistv which was britain's got talent which is like i'm not saying britain's got talents as good as america's got talent but the person that won britain's got talent that year was uh ashley and pudsy and ashley was a lady and pudsy was a dog and she was one of those people that makes the dog walk backwards and jump and bark and stuff and he won the whole show.

This is the most talented person in Britain. This dog. I mean, all that. I'm just giving you all that. And in the UK we went, my God, that dog can bark when you do that. There's half a million pounds. So they did this show called Who Let the Dogs Out

where the kids trained their dogs to do tricks. And I was a voiceover on that show. And somehow someone from Love Island heard that and then asked me to do. I mean, you got a great voice for any sort of voiceover. It's that quintessential Scottish accent that everybody likes that. Yeah, it's weird. My Scottish accent that like everybody can everybody likes that yeah it's weird

like my accent's a bit odd because I'm from Edinburgh which is like the capital of Scotland and we sort of get people from Edinburgh get abused in Scotland because they say we're English

because we're like the posh bit of Scotland got it but I'm from there's a bit in Edinburgh that's not posh which is where Trainspotting's set

oh yeah and I'm from there so like there's not many people that sound is where Trainspotting's set. Oh, yeah. And I'm from there. So, like, there's not many people that sound like me on telly and stuff. So even to, like, Scottish people and UK people, they're like, where is he from? Yeah, that's great. He's understandable.

Where's your little rich boy? Well, that is it. That is it. But even, like, even before I got the US show, like, living in London for 15 years, I've still got the accent, but obviously I've had five years in London and people being like, excuse me, what?

I used to rob people by mistake when I first moved to London. I was just being friendly. They'd be like, oh, I like your bike. Please, just have the bike. I'd give you my money, but it's all tied up in property i feel like we've uh narrowed down the gambling game to just touchdowns we just figured out like and i'm great oh i'm i'm gonna win the end zone crown challenge like i i both weeks i got first

touchdown of the week done it was ramon j stevenson alvin kamara both times first two minutes of the first game of the day yeah i mean it's it's like we're all gonna be there at week 17 this is crazy uh you know because when we started gambling when everything got legalized and draft kings came along it was like oh you have to really know what you're doing and you have to know the lingo and you have to know the lines and you have to know all of the you know etiquette and internal workings and now they've made it as simple as pick a guy who's going to get a touchdown. You got a feeling. I mean, I said it in an earlier ad read.

It was a joke. It's not a joke. I did buy that bet slip in the second quarter of the Pats game. I got Jacoby Brissett, NFL MVP. NFL MVP. Yeah. Pats went up 7-0 defense was looking good I was like

yeah this makes sense don't get me wrong I haven't been talked out of it yet I think that's still a viable ticket I think okay you know what's funny something got cut off earlier

and I was like talking about how you watch the fandoms on a play out on twitter yeah like boston fandom at least from where i sit and it seems like the other people i associate with it's always like it's gonna be all right yeah like yeah we fucking know the like yeah we lost and that wasn't great but like this team could be okay and that's that's how i feel about it like they're a better team than we thought they were and like i was saying i would call it like chicago is highs and lows yeah mets i feel like you guys it's not highs and lows it's low low low high high high high high yeah and boston's always like high and then when it's bad it's kind of like he'll be hot again soon

the absolute worst well either way just pick touchdowns whoever's going to take it to the house whoever's making a house call however they score it if they're going to get in the end zone uh you get to stay alive you get to make your touchdown picks you can either do the survivor challenge or just the straight up uh touchdown challenge and right now use promo code kfc use five bucks put up five bucks you get 250 of bonus bets plus a free month of nfl plus premium to watch games which is actually way more valuable these days because it's so fucking hard with all the apps and you don't know where the games are. You don't have one place that has them all in one spot anymore.

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For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash ftball. NFL Plus Premium offer available only to new and former NFL Plus subscribers. Additional NFL Plus Premium terms at nfl.com slash terms. So, like, yeah, I know that going on. And then, yeah, then Love Island happened. So, they didn't even know you were a comic. They just wanted you for the voice?

I think it was was I think they probably knew I was a comic because I'd been doing that the whole time and I think they wanted someone funny yeah but like

there was no at the time they didn't know I was going to like write it or anything I don't think I was meant I literally showed up on day one

and there was this guy called Mark another Scottish guy who like came up with the format of the show and he was like writing it and he was great

and then I just ended up I was in Spain I was like 27 I had nothing else to do so I was like I'll just sit with you that's cool so we started writing it together and then we come up with this like nice like in Spain you said yeah because that's where the UK won films so like originally just to save money they just sent me out there because here's what I don't understand at this point what makes love island uk different from love island usa well there's people from all over the world and they're all in different countries well at the at the beginning it was loads like love island at the beginning was sort of a weird thing because it was on like cbs i don't i'd never get the channels right but like it was proper like mainstream like yeah and it was like pre-watersheds like

i could be wrong but i think they weren't like necessarily allowed to wear like swimsuits like they had to wear like sarongs they didn't show too much skin it was like really weird right right but then now they are very similar i think when peacock took over love island usa they were like we want it to be more like the uk one yeah i mean it's the same show it's like people from america london australia like they're all it's not like these are from the uk these are from amer, and they're all in Fiji and Spain and whatever, so it's like... I think the UK one gets, the UK one's more like UK people.

Probably. But then America do diversify, yeah. Which is cool, but I think it's good for, like, the accents and stuff. Oh, totally. The accents were, in the beginning,

that, I think, was a big part of it, just the way that, you know, people talk about it. That's why the UK one works so well. Yeah. And I don't, it's a bit the same for the us one but like i find australia from the bits that i've watched that's strange for me because the uk one's so good because you can listen to someone talk for like 30 seconds and you sort of go like i sort of know where you're from i sort of know your like

socio-economical status i sort of know loads about you from like you're going hello posh down the side you're rich all right not up there like yeah yeah yeah but then like australia they all literally sound exactly the exact same what the fuck is this and then america was like that for a while it was all sort of like west coasty people and it all just sounded like very samey do you see a difference in the people yeah a hundred percent they've just got i think they've really like a preference are you like oh these people are better than like the uk people are better than the american people or vice versa or anything um no not really not really because like i always just see them as like

like man if they've got a they've got a job that i can do some puns about then i'm sort of happy yeah yeah like there's a guy that worked in a fish market on the UK one and there's so many fish puns he could have been like he could have been like Hitler

and I'd be like yeah fish puns is fish puns but I've got there's so many everybody loves a fish pun and then I remember

I used to shout the man sells fish after every time I'd done a Lincoln song and now like still the street today he'll be walking down and he'll be like the man sells fish. After every time I'd done a Lincoln something, now like still the street today, he'll be walking down, he'll be like, the man sells fish. So I love all that.

Yeah, there was, I feel like I just started watching Love Island season six of America. Yeah, I was the one that really popped off. Yeah. And like, I don't know if I just started to notice it or if there was something but like halfway through the season i feel like you took over whereas like in the beginning it was just kind of like a narrator and then all of a sudden i was like that was that one was

fucking funny and then like every every episode there was like a little voiceover that was like just ridiculous yeah hilarious and i was like this guy's becoming the fucking star of the show in my mind i'm looking forward to this. Thank you so much. Yeah, I bet we got into it. We had like a new team this year. And we got a comic on board called Caroline Haynes. It's like this really cool New York comic. I think as well because last year I was like the youngest person on the writing team.

And we were all British and we were all men. So it was this really weird position where it was like a 30-year-old and two 50-year-olds being like, what do American women like weird position was like a 30 year old and 250 was being like what do american women like i think they like flowers and taylor swift so it was just like so dumb so we got her on board and she was like really great and like new to it and like really got the show and then i think that was like having that american voice really helped and me and the other guys that we've been working together for years and then i felt like I just yeah and when it starts going well people get excited about it that's the thing is you watch it at home and you get excited but like everyone that works on Love Island is in Fiji which is like gorgeous but there's also like

there's not that much to do I heard it's not you know not all it's cracked up to yeah it's got that sort of vibe but the hotels are nice but if you're there for like six seven weeks there's not a lot to do so like they're pumped that it's doing well. So I think everyone's like feeding off it and everyone's up in their game. Are you on site or are you at home? I was at home. I was in Ireland this year, weirdly.

My wife was in a play in Ireland because I was doing the UK and the US one at exactly the same time. So I did the UK. I literally done the UK one during the day and the American one at night. Like every day. That's crazy.

You get no time for video games. I actually brought, how sad is this? I actually bought a Switch. No, I bought a Switch. Absolutely. 100% I would do that. I played a game called

Dave the Diver. You literally, he's a diver and then he gets booked to run a sushi restaurant. So during the day you go undersea and you catch fish and then then he gets booked to run a sushi restaurant. So during the day, you go on the sea and you catch fish, and then you bring the fish back to the sushi restaurant, and you run the sushi restaurant at night,

and you get more money and you can upgrade your restaurant. It's bananas. Dude, in your fantasy world, you're a guy who has two jobs and is struggling to make it. You're like, I need two more jobs. The man sells fish. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, so we were doing folks

it was like 12 o'clock the production is say whatever you want about you know some people think it's like you know trash reality TV

blah blah blah but the production turnaround is fucking insane mate the bottom line is you can't argue if you look at

how that show looks and they have got hundreds of cameras, 24 hours, constantly filming, and they've made that. And then also the storylines, it's not that, I don't mean the storylines are made up by people, but what I do mean is, you've got to structure them so that people can follow them. That's right.

And have you ever tried to write a fucking sitcom? It's so hard to be like, you get an episode two, and you're like, I've completely not talked about that other story. Right, you've got to write a fucking sitcom, it's like so hard to be like, you get like an episode two and you're like, I've completely not talked about that other story. Right. You got to keep it all going with 20 different people. They're keeping plates in the air. They're making the storylines work.

People, like 24 hours turn around? Yeah. I mean, I can't even, it makes me think about the rest of the industry. Yeah. Take like The Bachelor or these other reality shows that take like six months to put out episodes and these guys do it in a day yeah it takes you half a year and it

takes these guys a day i think it's why it hits as well because it feels really of the moment and yes you know that there's and there's a huge difference knowing they're in there knowing that they're in there and they don't know that we're – it's a very Truman Show thing. It's very – because when – like if The Bachelor comes and does an interview here and it's like, we know that you know who won and what – Oh, close. Are you together anymore and all that shit if you care about it. This is like – these people are truly like – it's a sick social experiment. I mean it's crazy knowing that they're just in there and they don't come up for air until they get the boot it really suits me as well because like i've not got many like rules for the narrator but like i've got like like a few like i never i'm so i've never

sworn like which is kind of a and again i actually sometimes if they write like even like like a like something really soft yeah because you could on they all of course yeah but i'm like nah i've done it now i'm 15 series in another one I've got this thing in my head when I'm doing the voice it's just like a funny idea if it makes it any better

but I'm like in my head the narrator the minute they leave that villa would have no idea who that person like he just completely

like the entire cast of Love Island could walk up to the narrator in a bar and he'd be like hey what do you guys want but I think that's quite a healthy way to do it would you watch cast of Love Island could walk up to the narrator in a bar and he'd be like, hey, what do you guys want?

But I think that's quite a healthy way to do it. Would you watch if you weren't? Do you enjoy it? A hundred percent. When I first, like completely honestly, when I got asked to do it the first time around, I was like, no, I don't want to do it. And then like, I was living with a comedian called Phil Wang at the time. You got to get back to my children's puppets.

Oh yeah, I can't right now. I'm building a working farm in Minecraft. I'm using redstone to automate the process. That is a thing you can actually do. Just so everyone knows that was an accurate joke. I know you need pistons and you need repeaters. I know that. An energy source. But my mate Phil Wang, he's an amazing comedian.

He's got a couple of specials on Netflix now, actually. But he was sort of like, we're going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And he was like, it's like this big arts festival in the UK. And he was like, you literally go there to get jobs on telly. So why would you turn down a job on telly? Yeah. So I did it. But what I will, so originally no,

but then genuinely, maybe you had the same thing when you started watching it. After about two, three episodes, I was like, I don't know what this is, but it's,

the minute, the minute the first guy walks out to the pool, they've changed how they do it all the time now. But the first, like coupling up, the guy comes up and then there's like the five girls

and they go if you want to date Craig step forward now and no one steps forward and it cuts an ad break and I'm like right inject it I love this so much

this is so clever and then like the guy who did step up for a girl a new girl comes out and he steps up for her and stands like you did that right in front of her fucking face man

this is crazy yeah it just by the middle of season six and and the crazy thing is it's every night every it's not like once a week so it was like it was like following a sports team i was like i got it's nine o'clock tonight i gotta or whatever guy i'm team rob we're gonna do this i'm screaming at my television i'm making videos I think it's weirdly cut through in that world of like as well with so much stuff going on the great thing about

Love Island is like you're just like do you know what in the UK at 9 o'clock at night we sit down that's on my mate Josh

would have come described it as like television he goes me and my wife need something that we can have on both washed together

so it doesn't just look like we're both sitting on our phones not talking to each other because that's really this justifies everything else and i really think every five or six minutes you can go no way and i really think i mean it is a truman show like thing where like in the truman show there's, like, the guy in the tub watching it, the people at the bar watching it. And they cut to all the people, and everybody's kind of glued to it or talking about it. And it feels that way where it's, like, it's, you know, it's primarily for a certain demo, but it kind of branches out to everybody. surprised I mean like definitely the thing about blowing up the most like like mind-blowing short proud like amazing thing I ever had was like um when Love Island like series three or four in the UK went like massive like this American one but more still and like it was the summer it was like pre like all our like Brexit and all this new like people fucking hating each

other you come through like similar stuff in the US it's just a bit like Brexit and all this new like people fucking hating each other you come through like similar stuff in the US it's just a bit like before all that sort of a happier time and like England were in the World Cup they were having like

a really good run in the World Cup I think they made the semi-finals and like pubs literally had like England game on on every single screen and like one little screen

in the corner they'd still have Love Island on and it just felt this like proper like it was like literally part of like that summer is like known as like the love summer yeah yeah everyone was in like pubs watching it the final was on there's like guys like throwing pints off over each other so like that is amazing that's great so that's another thing i got a text people literally doing that

so like when it happened again in the US I was like to have that once is mad but to have that happen twice is like

it's a blessing and I wonder if it's like so next season you know is it like that's popped and everyone's gonna watch it

or is it like that mix of people you need a Rob and an Aaron. You need those people, but they'll hopefully find them. It seems like they never run out. With the UK one, it was the exact same. You thought, we're never going to do that again.

And then they did it again and again and again. Three or four where it just kept on going, whoa. And then also, the reason the show works is when it gets big, the big worry I think people have is that people just go on because they want to get famous. Which is like, again, they're allowed to do that but there's something about dating someone even if you're putting it on if you like spend five nights in bed with a girl and then some like ripped former nfl player comes in like takes your girl for you i don't care if you want instagram followers or

not that's annoying yeah yeah like there's something there's some primal there's something visceral that like being in a relationship with someone you cannot and they and they they put it in hyperdrive it's like you're on a honeymoon day one yeah it's the most romantic the most romantic thing in the world it's the biggest you know 24 hours a day it's like you you know all of a sudden you've been dating for hundreds of hours yeah you know ordinarily that would take you six months here well again people do not do that enough but you do the maths like if they're in there for like in the uk when it's eight weeks so like eight weeks and some of them meet day one and that's eight times seven nights in bed together hours and hours and hours if you work out how many times, how many years maybe you've been with someone

before you spent like 60 nights in bed with them. Yeah. Like you're literally looking, it could be, if you don't move in early, you could be looking at like two years. Right. Right. And they've done it and like, that's why it gets legit.

The feelings get legit. Yeah. So it's been mad. So that's the one thing I will say is like really good because people always were like, oh, that'll get changed because of that. But I'm like, maybe that changes some people's intentions, but once you're in that. I think it's one thing I will say is really good because people always worry that it'll get changed because of that. But maybe that changes some people's intentions. But once you're in that. I think it's one thing when you say it on the outside

and then when you're on the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, they're telling us we've got to wrap it up. I mean, I could talk to you for a long time. But thanks for coming in, man. No, man. Thank you so much for having me. You got tickets at Bell House left or Gramercy left?

Bell House sold out. Gramercy on the 21st of September. Tickets still available. 21st of September. I see you. I'm a very funny guy. We appreciate it, dude. Thanks so much. And I'm going State on the 21st of September. Tickets still available. 21st of September. I see you. I'm a very funny guy. We appreciate it, dude. Thanks so much.

And I'm going to do the UBS Arena next. Yeah. Cheers. Thank you so much. Honestly, that was amazing. Thank you so much. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Bye.