KFC Radio - Ice Cube, Girls Gotta Eat, and Going To Syracuse

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

Ice Cube on kicking guys out of the Big 3, what it's like being a visionary, how he almost invented Netflix, comparisons to Kanye, when the Internet tried to figure out what day It Was A Good Day was, and why Google thinks Dr Dre is dead (he's not). Ashley & Rayna from Girls Gotta Eat stop by to talk about the hot guys on Stranger Things, how Cancers are the Patriots of astrology, whether Jason Momoa has a dad bod, how many girls should a guy have sex with, what is the perfect penis size, and why cults are such a turn on. KFC & Feits recap the live show, Abella Danger's ATI is blowing up, football coaches at the pool. Voicemails include: what's your anamorph, annoying evolution, do the homeless have sex, and embarrassingly late.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's another edition of KFC Radio brought to you by SeatGeek. We got a pop-pop concert coming up. I'm sure you can get your tickets on SeatGeek, the hottest ticket in town. I'm okay, he's probably flying on the secondary market right now. And SeatGeek is the best way to get your ticket. John Mayer's coming to town.

J-Lo was just in town. You can get Mets tickets right now, and SeatGeek is the best way to get your ticket. John Mayer's coming to town. J-Lo was just in town. You can get Mets tickets right now. They are... What was that? I was trying to make noises to go with everything, and then he went with a bad one, so I had to change on the fly and make a bad noise. That sounded like

a Stranger Things monster noise, like the monsters nearby where you hear... Can you do it again, or was it just a one-time thing? That roll of the tongue in there. Yeah, you're a good pussy. Buy and sell your tickets on SeatGeek, the best place to get tickets on the secondary market to any live entertainment.

You want to go see your favorite sports team. You want to go see your favorite comedian, your favorite band. You want to go see your favorite podcaster live. Who eats good pussy. It's like you're Chewbacca. Do that in a girl's ear. Oh, buddy, watch out. You take her to a nice concert and you give her that. The girl's ear. Ooh, buddy, watch out. You take her to a nice concert, and you give her that.

The predator over here. Wild, man. SeatGeek right now. Promo code KFC. You download the app. You go to enter the promo code over on settings. Enter KFC. You get $10 off your first purchase.

That's SeatGeek. Promo code KFC. You got a fucking monster edition of KFC Radio. We're recording late in the day, and I think John's just got the fucking sillies, bro. I have, yeah. I've been in a good mood, man. I've been in a good mood for like a week. You're developing feelings.

Do you think it corresponded with the live show? Yes. Is this our first episode since the live show? It is, right? No, we do it. Yeah, no, it is. It's the first time we've recorded since the live show, which was a smashing success. I'm sure everybody who was there is listening right now.

Shout out to all you guys. I do consider anybody who was there is listening right now. Shout out to all you guys. I do consider anybody who was there last night our 300 most diehard fans because tickets sold out in about 12 hours on social media alone. It was the first night in three years. So anybody who was there with their credit card ready to buy tickets and came out, those are undoubtedly our...

Oh, they did. They were so into it man it was so much fun and i i it made it it like i think we were both a little bit nervous at least oh yeah uh going up there and like i know i was everyone everyone was so welcoming to us at our show it made it i know but i you know people have always said that to me anytime i have been nervous people like dude the people who are in the audience for you are gonna think you're funny and i try to remind myself of that but i I really did feel that. I mean, we, we put on a great show.

I'm not gonna lie. We put together, we put a lot of work into it. We put together a great run of show. A couple of things fell in our lap, like the day of, so we did well, but the crowd was like,

I remember being like, Oh damn, they thought that was really funny. Oh, okay. There was one moment and we're going to put it up on Barstool gold at some point. Right. So I believe there's Thursday. So you will be able to watch if you're a member of gold, There was one moment, and we're going to put it up on Barstool Gold at some point, right? I believe Thursday.

Thursday. So you will be able to watch if you're a member of Gold. Go to BarstoolGold.com slash KFC. The whole show will be up there. But there was a girl at like 7 o'clock. She tweeted, do you know how much I love Joe? I love him so much that I'm at a live KFC radio podcast, FML. Who still says FML?

FML. It was 2007. Get out of here. FML was definitely a thing when I was in college. Yeah, it was funny at the time. It was a long fucking time. Epic failures in FML. So I see this as I'm about to go up on stage.

I was like, God damn it. That's not the shot of confidence I needed. But what it did was create a very funny moment. I run about to go up on stage, I was like, God damn it. That's not the shot of confidence I needed. But what it did was create a very funny moment. I run over to Nick. I'm like, dude, you got to put this into the run of show right now. And I welcome everyone to the show. And then I was like, except for this bitch right here. And we put it up on the screen behind us.

Because we did a whole multimedia thing. Videos, pictures, all this shit went up behind us on the screen. And it got such a great pop out of the crowd. Like it was a big laugh right away to start the show. And I was like, ah, there we go. Like one laugh.

So shout out to you, Nicole, you, you unpleasant little be hard to please. Now she actually, she, we talked after, after the show and,

and she was like, I'm like, I hope I didn't like mess up the flow of your shows. Are you kidding me? You like fucking gave me a laugh. It was perfect. So, uh, so someone, whoever comes to the next show, which I believe we're scheduling tentatively for August 14th.

August 14th would be a big day. Someone just throw us a tweet before. Yeah, please. If you can just do the work for us and give us good material before we take the stage. So DeStefano was. Yeah, we should actually cut all this and then just plant one every show. Yeah, that is true.

So cut all this. Never mind. You're not going to hear this. Anyway, brand new episode of KSTV. We're back. DeStefano was unbelievable. My man Dan Soder popped by. He was the whole time.

He was like, yeah, maybe I'll come by after Bonfire. It's a show on Sirius. And I was like, I'll believe when I see it sort of thing. He came through. He got about 45 minutes of those two just riffing. A bunch of the Barstool people were in the crowd. Now, I don't know if the Barstool people, we notoriously don't really listen to each other's content, or at least we don't listen to theirs.

I don't know what other people do. Yeah, I think there are a handful of people who listen to ours. They'll kind of talk here and there. But clearly not many because people were absolutely stunned. I don't know if it was surprise, like they're just happy for us, or genuine shock that we're funny, but they were like, what? That was good. It's like, I would sincerely hope so. We've been doing this for 10 goddamn years.

So all in all, I think a rousing success, which, you know, stupid me took forever to get back on stage and for what reason. Although I'll say, I think it just all happened at the right time because we got back on stage earlier maybe we wouldn't have been as ready maybe we wouldn't have been as funny but now i know we're ready to fucking cook because it was hard work but it wasn't like you know nothing we can't replicate and uh and although i was very i was much calmer than I thought I was going to be, despite the fact that I was profusely sweating. It was really, it was, it was, I was, I was sweating a lot because I was nervous, but it was hot and I didn't know which was which. And about halfway through the show, we brought up the story about how air conditioning is sexist.

And the people in the crowd were like, we need air conditioning right now. And I was like, oh, you give me, you guys are hot too. Misogynistic motherfuckers. Like, yeah. Let me go. Yeah. In that moment, even the biggest feminist was like, oh you give me you guys are hot too motherfuckers like yeah let me go fucking yeah in that moment even the biggest feminist was like fucking give me some ac i was so pumped to find out that the rest of the audience was sweating too though not just me i got after the show i was i rarely sweat but i was my my seat was sweating if you you know what i mean my butt yeah his butt my seat i'm gonna gonna start saying yo that girl's got a great seat she's got a seat on that

but the cons came by and fucking goosed me just went right up that cheek right up that butt and he just goes oh that is wet

I was like if I'm sweating through my shorts it's a nice goose repellent there's no force fields and you ain't gonna get me I mean you're gonna get in but you're not gonna come back you're not gonna like it yeah yeah once yeah that is fucking banished you from my

butthole you're like i'm done that is absolutely vile final break uh so shout out to everyone who came through uh guests included and audience of course uh like you said tentatively because we got to work out some scheduling and location but august 14th which if we can pull it off it'll be fuddleberg's birthday and it'll be my 10th anniversary at barstool so we will blow it out if we can get august 14th and even you know if not it'd be like the 16th or something close enough to still have a celebration so next show be on the lookout we'll tweet out the link when it's all set and tickets are on sale. Today's episode of Monster.

We got Ice Cube. Pretty big deal. It really is. When you think about music, entertainment, movies, now sports with the big three, he is a modern-day renaissance man. And there's a bit during this interview where I compare him to another modern-day renaissance man and my life flashed before my eyes. I'm not going to spoil anything. Just know, Fights almost had his Action Bronson moment. comparing him to another modern day renaissance man and my life flashed before my eyes. I'm not going to spoil anything.

Just know, Fights almost had his action Bronson moment. I almost sat there and let it happen. Very good interview there. We also are joined by Ashley and Raina from the Girls Gotta Eat podcast which I've been raving about since we did it. I think that it was fucking fantastic. They also did Answer the Internet

which will be out... Is it tonight? Yeah answer the internet we'll be out with them tonight nine o'clock tuesday night uh very funny pretty much like the female version of us and uh it was it was a good one now we'll get into that a little bit later first i gotta tell you a story i had honestly quite possibly the most awkward interaction i've ever had in my life and that's really not even an exaggeration story time today brought to you by postmates are we back i'll be back so we i mean at this point this interaction right here is so awkward this is why i don't leave the house this is why i should just have postmates delivered all the time i shouldn't go to the pool.

I shouldn't be eating at the snack bar. Hang on a second before you start bashing leaving the house. Some motherfucker, he was posting thirst traps this weekend. Yeah, buddy. My first ever thirst trap. I've never taken a picture good enough to thirst trap. I was at the pool. I like how you even called it out.

You're just like, this is a thirst trap. Look how hot I look. This is a thirst trap. Well, okay. Look how hot I look. This is a thirst trap. DMs is open. Yup. So I was at the pool. I got a tan going right now. And in the moment when I took the picture, I was cooking.

I could see my, I could smell my skin burning. I was so cooked. I don't wear any sunblock all day. I'm trying to get hot out here, bro. I'm a single man now. I'm trying to get my sex on. Okay. So I haven't been tan in legitimately years because for for i mean for the past like three four summers i've been like you know knee deep in babies and and and i fucked up marriage and all this shit so i had not been

going out to the beach or the pool or anything during the summer for years now yeah i was gonna say this is new like the children aren't at the pool as though yeah well yeah now i can like go do shit with them and i'm out there a little bit more so it was the first time i was tan in like years and i was taking pictures of the kids and shit and all of a sudden i just flip it over and i i do a little uh do a little selfie action to be honest i was looking at my own face to see if i was sunburning that's why i did it and i flipped the camera and i was like oh damn yeah oh damn kids got it still yo my hair looked a little um my hair looked very light. A little sea tossed.

Yeah! And it was all chlorine, though, to be honest. It was gross. My eyes were popping. My tan looked good. So I post this picture on Stories, and I said, I just want to document it on tan again. And the response, John, was stellar. Yeah?

And I was like, I'm going gonna have to make this permanent because and everyone was you start tanning no no no well you know maybe you mean thirst trapping yeah thirst trapping is gonna have to be the move so so many people said like bro this is a thirst trap and i was like oh shit it is so i posted it on my regular instagram like a like a permanent post i said this is my thirst trap when do I get the free trips to Dubai? When do I get the free sneakers? When can I get the tea that you rub all over your body? Yeah, I guess.

I don't want to suck dick. I just want to take pictures. So go check out my Instagram if you want to see that. You'll see thirst trap. Yeah, but thirst traps and pool stories brought to you by Postmates. I don't want to interact with any more weirdos, so I'm going to stay in my house. I'm going to have all my food and all my goods delivered. Oh, another thing. How about this? I want you to weigh out on this postmates this is

the uh debate of the day for postmates that was a move john just fucking if you're watching on gold barstoolgold.com slash kfc he just he just defiantly pulled up his armrests and he's like i'm free now to move i don't like them oh i love them they always hit the thing i need them they're in my captain's chair so my kids particularly sh, loves to play with Band-Aids. She treats them like stickers. She opens them up frozen. She sticks them on me. She sticks them on you.

She wears them like bracelets. It's like a toy. So I buy like 1,000 Band-Aids. I run out of Band-Aids. What do I do? Postmates. I Postmates them. I'm on the phone with my mom.

I'm FaceTiming. And Shay's like, where are the Band-Aids? And I said, they're on the way. And my mom's like, what does that mean? And I was like, I'm getting the Band-Aids delivered from Postmates. I'm on the phone with my mom. I'm FaceTiming and Shay's like, where are the Band-Aids? And I said, they're on the way. And my mom's like, what does that mean? And I was like, I'm getting the Band-Aids delivered from Postmates. She was like, you're getting Band-Aids delivered? I was like, fuck yeah. She's like, we ran out. The kids are screaming.

I'm going to Postmates. She thought it was like Silver Spoon, like entitled. Welcome to the millennial generation, yeah bitch. i was like yo if my kids are fucking screaming crying and being annoying and i can just have the the band-aids delivered keegan calls them band bands like i'm a band band get me a band band so if i can get the band bands delivered fuck you mom getting that shit delivered because you can get anything food

band-aids whatever booze all of it go to it. Go to Postmates, download the app, use the promo code KFC at checkout. You get $100 of free delivery charges. So I got those band-bands delivered free when I put in KFC at checkout. Seven days worth of free delivery, promo code KFC. I'm at the pool, bro. This was actually

a couple times ago I was at the pool. It had just rained earlier in the day and then cleared back up. So I'm there, and it's pretty empty. And I'm playing with Shea and Keegan. And this dude comes up to me. Older guy. Middle-aged. Fat.

And he sidles up alongside me. You know in the movies, let's say, when you're in a spy movie, when they meet in a public place, and they sit on opposite sides of the bench. So they're talking to each other, but they're not looking at each other so it looks like they're just strangers he does that to me again pretty much an empty pool he walks up to me he's looking the other direction and he's got a football in his hand a small green like pool football and i'm playing with keegan and i'm talking to keegan and i hear him again like not looking at

me just looking off he's like is, is he going to be a player? And I like kind of double take and I'm still talking cute to Keegan. He's like, what do you think? The kid's got an arm on him? You think he's going to be a player? And I realize he's talking to me and I'm like, excuse me? He's like, your son. And he's kind of like wobbling a little bit. He's like, he's got an arm on him?

I was like, yeah, man, yeah, I guess so because we were throwing some shit around. And he like finally turns around and he he like finally turns around and he's like giving me the football like it's some gift and he's like give it to him like let's let's see what he's got like okay i'm like here you go keegs take it now keegs is a baby he's not even two yet and he's like nah and he just kind of like throws the ball and the guy's like no no no no no no wrong wrong wrong i was like uh okay this is weird just kind of like throws the ball. And the guy's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wrong, wrong, wrong. I was like, okay, this is weird. I kind of like he runs and grabs the football again.

At this point, Keegan like runs away to play with Shea. And he turns to me and he's like, I used to play with this ball with my daughter. And I was like, oh, cool, man. And he's like, starts getting choked up. And I was like, oh, man. He's like, starts getting choked up. And I was like, oh, fuck. He's like, we used to play catch with her in the pool with this. And I was like, fuck, now I'm the asshole. No, you're not the asshole.

And I'm looking at him. This guy's still the asshole. And I'm like, oh, I understand. Yeah, it's great times with your kids. And he's all choked up. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. And he's like, no, everything's fine. She's fine.

She's going to Syracuse. And I was like, what? In my head, I'm like, what? He's like, I went there. Now she wanted to go there. She's going in the fall. I was like, motherfucker, your daughter's going to college I thought she was dead

I thought you were telling me you used to play catch With your dead daughter I go fuck this she's going to Syracuse You fat drunk weirdo We're at the public pool with my two year old Shut the fuck up you fat alcoholic Dude He's trying to pass the ball

I thought he was passing me like torch Cause his daughter died or some shit. He's got a fucking girl is probably just going to go party at Syracuse. So I'm like, oh, OK, like fine, dude. At that point, I kind of blow him off. I watch him go to the next like little girl. There's like another girl playing and this girl's a little bit older and she throws him. To be honest, she does throw him like a seed.

And he was like, oh, yeah yeah that's what i'm talking about so he gets the football and goes over to her and he's like put your fingers in the laces and this little girl just like kind of grabs it and wants to throw it he's like no no no no and he runs and gets the ball again comes back and he like grabs her by the wrist and he's like trying to put her fingers on the laces and he's like it's like fucking ace ventura like laces out he was like you throw it, like spin it off the laces. You want to throw a spiral. This is a grown fucking man by himself. I don't even know where the other little girl's parents were.

I want to be like, yo, somebody needs to get this girl the fuck away from this guy. And he's barking at little kids at the baby pool, which is like one foot deep, about how to properly throw a football because his daughter is going to school in the fall. I just kind of like shooed my kids away and i was like get away from this fatso over here kids this is stranger danger just choking up all drunk and shit when we were finally leaving the pool because it started to rain again i saw him stumbling around the parking lot by himself i was like this is some weird shit man that's one great great story. I wish his daughter was dead. I mean, it would have made more sense. I don't mean that because of the story.

No, I know. Just because of him. I wish all bad things happened to him. I kind of did like I turned my head sideways like a puppet. I was like, oh, I thought his daughter was dead. And then I think he realized by my reaction, that's when he was like, oh, no, no, no. Everything's fine. She's just going to college.

He should have realized by his actions, not your reaction, that what he was doing was bizarre. Just be normal. And really highlighting that he has a dead daughter. Be normal, man. Is he going to be a player? He's one and a half, dude. He's a baby. Shut up.

He's not going to be a player. I don't know. You're going to be a normal fucking adult and stop referring to adult child athlete as a player i'm like sidling up trying to like secretly talk to me you're gonna be a baller i don't know you fucking weirdo dumb drunk i'm gonna play some team sports yeah to get to get fucking qualities that you clearly lack. Leadership qualities. I want him to grow to be the exact opposite of you. So that dude, that weirdo at the pool is canceled.

I believe you have a cancel. Yeah, this is a good one. Today's cancel is brought to you by Let Go. You want to let go of this. You want to let go of that guy. You want to let go of the old football that you used to play with your daughter before she went to Syracuse College? You got any old – that's actually probably good.

I mean, I can't imagine. There's probably so many people out there. You got an old baseball mitt or a nice bat or old sports equipment when it's time to hang it up because you are old and washed up. I got all the extra sneakers that I'm planning on moving. You've got – if you're moving apartments and you don't want to lug everything with you, you want to sell old furniture

or appliances. I'm going to have, when I move, I'm going to have 10,000 Barstool Sports t-shirts to let go. Honestly, you've probably got some one-of-ones in there, some old school stuff that the fans would really like. It is the best way to

take an opportunity to move all your unused items and turn it into some cash and helps you access some extra money, maybe a lifestyle you couldn't otherwise afford. It's the best place for when you're moving, going back to school, or just looking to clear out some of your old stuff. So go to letgo.com slash barstool, and you can start moving your old stuff. So go to, uh, let go at, go to let go.com slash barstool. And you can start moving your stuff today. Let us know what you're selling and how much money you're making off. Let go. We will retweet you and we'll, we'll put on display all the stuff that you're moving.

Go to let go.com slash barstool. Who is console Johnny? It's not a who it's a what? Ooh. NSFW is canceled. The freeze. I'm so fucking sick of it. If you still use NSFW

you're a cunt. Whoa! Give me an example. What if something, even if it's legit, even if you need to. If there's not a dick in a vagina, or a dick in a butthole, or a dick in a mouth and that would be a surprise. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like a sports clip yeah and sfw right right that's don't even there

worthless yeah you said here's a porn video i fucking got it if you click on that it's your fucking but okay say say i post uh uh something on instagram or a twitter video and i say something like yo this is a wild video and like the thumbnail looks like someone is like at the bar but then there's like a naked person out of nowhere i don't think that's it nope no no so like because because sometimes the no no i see the nsf no nsfw comes from a time when people are like on their computer at work and they like are about to watch like i said this looks like a video of like people at a bar and then all of a sudden the camera pans over and there's like someone sucking dick in the bar and it's like oh i needed to be alarmed to that you don't want anybody getting a warning you don't

want anybody using the phrase i think of it as like the only companies who still use it like bleacher reports yeah yeah where it's like someone goes on a rant nsfw words are not nsfw okay so that yeah that's what triggered this someone was like just an angry video saying that but if you say fuck or shit or bitch or cunt in a video

the the it's not not safe for work got it if you're listening on your work speakers you're an asshole

then you deserve to be fired and playing that out loud if that gets you fired everyone sitting around you will be thankful so therefore therefore by not using NSFW you are

doing justice you're serving justice for everyone else in getting rid of that yes and but then like everything else like you shouldn't be watching shit on you like i i mean we watch porn on our computers but aside from that yeah we don't watch anything that bad so um yeah we announce it first of the office we say just so we know about watching porn for research purposes but guess what i'm starting to use that like you know i'm just not starting to say that but yeah i about to watch the porn for research purposes. But guess what? I'm starting to use that. Like, you know, I'm just starting to say that. I want to watch the porn. I'm going to tell people to research it. I mean, you just put it around there.

Research it for my dick. You're like, look at this thumbnail. She took the Boss Hog dildo. I opened up Pornhub. It said 11-inch Boss Hog dildo. I was like, that's a great name for dildo. Do you want to know why I was on? It's not a great name because it was black.

Yeah, but what? Boss Hog wore a white suit and was definitely racist. Oh, wow. You know, I guess you could kind of of, in a way, like the blacks... No, I don't know. Do you know why I was on Pornhub? It's because I was looking up a Bella Danger. Because her answer to the internet is the most viral video since Tommy bit my finger.

It is crazy. She blew right through the 1 million views club. She was racking up 100,000 views per hour. I think by the time you've heard this, she's blown through the 1 million views club. She was racking up 100,000 views per hour. I think by the time you've heard this, she's blown to 2 million views. By the time they listen to this, John, she might be like 5 million. This might be, I don't know how, I've never, I don't think Barstool's very experienced with the true YouTube viral video. I mean, the most viral video I think we ever had was Jenna,

how to trick people into thinking you're good looking. And I think that was around 10 million. I mean, it was 1.3 on this episode. Sorry, it's 1.4 now. But it's also higher than that. What's it actually? It's at 1.8. 1.8 right now.

I mean, I would love to, because I remember Jenna's hitting 10. I would love to be like, nah, we beat you. That's wild that we racked up 10 back in 2009 or whatever the fuck it was. Well, yeah, but you know what I think? And it's wrong. Marty's just going to throw that out there that it's wrong. I think it's like when they say like $70 million, 70 million people should watch the World Series.

Well, we have three channels. Yeah, that's true. Not a lot of people on YouTube then. That's true. Not a lot of options to watch. That is true. A lot of competition, and people are still choosing to watch our girl abella answer

our internet questions now someone said to me uh someone tweeted like oh uh like big deal dude you got a hot chick getting a lot of views on the internet well that's not really how it works man we've had other hot girls up there before who aren't racking up a hundred grand in an hour it's because she put together a nine minute video where the retention rate nick have you looked at the retention at all i mean people are probably finishing like eight or nine minutes out of this right the video is like nine and a half minutes i bet you everyone's watching seven and eight or nine minutes yeah yeah it's right around there and that's like the key like on the internet people watch less if you get someone to watch the 30 second video on the internet it's like it's a big deal it's a mess so

abella's got people watching through seven eight nine minutes which is that's when the youtube algorithm goes holy shit they got a real one let's blast this video out so no no it's i mean don't get me wrong she is hot uh but it's because she actually put together a very funny and very intriguing answer the internet so i uh i was on pornhub looking at her shit for research purposes but wait how about this john back to your cancel what about the people who go nsfl not safe for life yeah but that's a joke that's like when there's like a fucking giant spider that's eating someone in australia they go not glory video whatever that's fine and that's about because you're saying anybody who's out here still

warning the internet for language or nudity well like some like they're like blah like this post is not safe for work because they're like they swear on your computer get the fuck out of here that's really stupid i can at least understand the logic of like if you thought you were going to play a video out loud that didn't curse and then it did or you thought you're gonna play something that didn't have you nudity and then it did if the word is on the screen like yeah just don't be such a don't read it out loud i recommend you stop being such an f word that is just fucking relax nate's not safe for work canceled uh let's get into uh you want to do this uh the charlie sheen thing yeah okay all right let's get into you want to do this uh the charlie sheen thing yeah okay all right let's get into uh a a story of the day here i found this to be particularly funny given that

we are in the middle of uh in the summer here everyone's out here doing doing their summer house you know you got a share house at the jersey shore or the hamptons or up at newport and shit gets weird in the summertime, man. Like that, those, those, those are my fondest memories, at least, you know, non-kid related. Like I'm talking fun, single life, party life, the best times I've ever had in my life, not college. I didn't go abroad. It wasn't during my, my college years.

It was post-college summertime, renting a house out with all my buddies and that's where i mean i remember my my buddy fucking a german chick on the lifeguard stand smoking a blunt with the girl he just met at the party and weird stories like that unfold when you're uh when you're out there like i said at the jersey shore or the hamptons or whatever maybe but this story right here this should be inspiration for everybody out there because you know what it's past july 4th that's where we we decide the summer's over right yes that's what my mom does past july 4th is like we're done with the summer it's time to focus on the fly poly says oh summer's over but here's a little inspiration for you my goddamn birthday in there it says summer's over july uh this is a

little inspiration though because this just remind, you know, while you're paying money every weekend to go out there and have a good time, make sure you do. Summer's not over. You've still got half the summer left. Why don't you strive to be like Brooke Miller? Well, that's also number one. So Brooke Miller, Charlie Sheen's ex-wife, spells her name M-U-E-L-L-E-R.

Which is a word that you pronounce it depends on what time what era you're in. We had the Bill Miller era, which was third base in the World Series Red Sox. I think it was Mueller at one point. Now it's Robert Mueller. So, I have heartburn.

It's because you ate all those peppers. So Charlie Sheen's ex, Brooke Mueller, spotted with bags of drugs. Now if you remember, she's a weapon ate all those peppers. Yeah. So it's, so Charlie Sheen's ex, Brooke Muller, spotted with, quote, bags of drugs. Now, if you remember, she's a weapon. She's sexy. But in that, like. She's no Denise Richards. I was going to say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poor man's Denise Richards because he used to, you know, he was with her as well. But she's, and this is where? In Long Island? Is it Hamptons? Yeah, South Hampton. South Hampton, bags of drugs. Charlie Sheen's ex, Brooke Muller, made a scene in the Hamptons after she showed up alone at a drugstore

at 7 a.m. Sunday, then begged a random stranger to take her home, where she revealed suitcases full of drugs. I was going to say, when you hear bags of drugs, you think baggy. No, no, no. Luggage of drugs. Actress Muller, 41, who has 10-year-old twin boys with Sheen, was spotted looking

quote, distraught on her own with a host of suitcases at a southampton rite aid just after dawn sunday a man said to be in his 20s took pity on muller and agreed to take her back to his shared rental in southampton once at the house muller opened her suitcases to reveal an array of drugs and ordered the man and his housemates to partake witnesses told page six one witness said we took her home because we thought she needed help but once we were in the house she opened her bags and she had so many drugs. It was like Scarface.

The witness added, the guys in the house were just waking up from a long night and nobody was in the mood to party. It's 7 a.m. on a Sunday. But Brooke had other ideas and kept saying, why are you all so boring? Let's party. She had so many bags of drugs. It wasn't clear what they were, but she had white powder around her nose, so I'm assuming it was cocaine. She disappeared in the bathroom for a while with one young man,

then came out and went back in the bathroom with another guy. Muller has a well-decimated history of cocaine abuse and has been in and out of rehab. A source close to Muller explained she had booked a hotel in the Hamptons from Sunday night but had muddled the check in time, traveled in from Connecticut and arrived at 7 a.m. rather than 3 p.m. Really fucked that one up. I mean –

First of all, this image of the – Oh, wait. I love this excuse too. The Mueller source added, Brooke's issues with sobriety are well documented. She recalls there was some drama in the Hamptons on Sunday morning but she doesn't remember exactly what happened when asked to she engaged in drugs with the housemates the source added she doesn't remember adding she's in a safe place with friends right now i mean to be fair that's probably not a big deal for her like hey what happened on sunday like uh i don't know just par for the course if i'm up sunday at 7 a.m when you ask me at 5 p.m i'm not gonna remember what was happening no it's like uh yeah i was out uh found some like some dudes they wanted to hang out i don't know

that's a regular fucking day for brooke mullet now the imagery of her running around with luggage of drugs is wild like like she's the mary poppins of drug use like oh she pulls out some like a bag of coke and here's like a bag of rocks and here's some like no one like no one travels with that many drugs unless you're dealing yeah yeah you're like a drug mule well here's the thing you know some people do drugs charlie sheen like lives drugs and so here's my question i think i know what she looks like i you know if you put the picture in front of me on the internet with her name i would remember it but like sunday.m. CVS, I'm not knowing that's Brooke Muller. No. So when, but also she's hot enough that if I'm, again, like I said, this is inspiration for you to have some good summertime memories. If I'm out in the Hamptons and you know, I'm hung over and I stumble to get

myself a Gatorade and there's this smoke, who's like, you want to, you want to hang out? I'm like, fuck yeah. Like, let's do it. I'm going to be like, do it do it for the story i'm gonna bring this girl back to the house people are gonna be what the fuck's going on as soon as i found out that it's charlie sheen's ex though i think i'd be like you gotta get the fuck out of here oh i know yeah i know what you mean i would but that's a guy i don't want to get mixed up with see i don't i i would be one of those guys who went to the bathroom with her but only if i knew it was charlie Sheen. So you're exclusively doing it for the Charlie Sheen factor? Just like I would trust her then. If she was a random stranger, I'd be like, I'm not going.

Okay, I definitely think you can trust her because she knows how to get down and she knows the rules of engagement and shit. But don't you think Charlie Sheen is an unstable guy who might be like protective over his women and shit? They broke up forever ago. I know, but. No, I think the exact opposite of Charlie Sheen. You think he'd be like, yeah his women and shit no i don't i think the tiger blood i think you think he'd be like yeah go ahead high five yeah well i'm not even saying

that fuck her but i'd party with her yeah i if i definitely if there was a ruckus uh if uh if there was a ruckus in my share house at 6 45 in the morning and it come down some girl like why y'all so boring let's party party. I'd be like, get this girl the fuck out of here before I kill her. If I come down at 6.45 and it's, why is it so boring? Let's party. I'm Brooke Muller, Charlie Sheen's ex. I'm like, let's fucking go.

Let's have a fucking Sunday, boys. I did that one time. By the way, speaking of, because you said, let's go, boys. If there's any girls in that share house, they were probably. Let's see. Yeah. Because like, she's got a couple of miles on her too. So it's like, you brought home some old bitch at 7am that you met at CVS in Bridgehampton.

Like, what the fuck? You know that there were girls in that house who went to their boyfriends, like, tell her she's got to go. Yeah. And he was like, I don't know. Listen, John brought her home. Like, I don't fucking know. Just tell her she's got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, I don't know. Listen, John brought her home. Like, I don't fucking know. Just tell her she's got to go.

Fuck that. I'm not. But I did it one time. I went to Plymouth State. Me and my buddy drove from Providence College to Plymouth State. And we got up at like 5 in the morning to go up there because we were surprising a buddy. And when we got there, it was like 7.30 in the morning.

Yeah, yeah. Super early. And so we had our buddy's address and actually no we didn't have his address and so we were we were like parking our car and like putting it we had like a blow dryer and we just pretended to be cops and just causing like a ruckus on campus at 7 a.m and eventually we were like hey where is like this kid? And they told us his address. And he wasn't awake yet. So we climbed. We blow-dried him, pretending to be constant. We put our hats on low. He was holding the gun out.

And cars were coming. We stopped, quick halt and stuff. So then someone tells us his house. We go. He's not awake. But out back, they have stairs that go to the roof. We go up to the roof, and they had furniture up there. And since we got to the roof we go up to the roof and they had like furniture up there and we'd been well since we got to campus we started drinking so it was like 7 a.m we started drinking by like eight o'clock now we're like feeling good yeah so we're just picking up his

furniture off throwing it off the roof and it happens to be landing in front of his window so eventually he like lifts his window up and sticks his head out, and he looks up and sees me and my buddy Chris, and he just goes, well, looks like we're getting started early today, huh, boys? And came upstairs and started throwing shit with you. Let's fucking go! That's how I would be with Brett Muller.

Looks like we're getting started early today, huh, boys? There are just certain times where you know you don't have a choice. It's just like, yeah, I thought I was going to have a bacon, egg, and cheese and sit on the couch until I was ready to go at like 6 p.m. tonight. But you crack your knuckles, you wipe your eyes, you're like, let's go. Big-time players make big-time plays in big-time games. That's also a moment. That dude, he was probably, he rolls over, looks out the window, and sees a lawn chair come crashing oh no they're like

chairs like like wooden like lounge chair like old ones like you got from like a fucking like salvation army whatever but like you see like that smashing onto the ground he probably was like my friends are here yeah like like i'm scheduled to have company they've arrived in bed with his girlfriend who had never met us i love that like that's what i miss there's you're never well yeah i think that at this point you're you've grown up enough like that is never gonna happen again right like like the wildest story for me is gonna be like oh i had like a second bottle of wine at dinner there's not gonna be any more it's it's not about that you guys were throwing shit off the off the roof like that yes that's what's happening. It's about that your friends were just like,

all right, let's do this. I guess we're starting early today, boys. That is the type of mentality that's just gone now. I mean, that's why I like these guys, and that's why everybody who's still out there right now in the Hamptons, the Jersey Shore, I hope you find your Brooke Mueller. I hope you find your middle-aged cougar

with a bag of drugs, come back to your house, stranger, and you just start fucking partying, that's what summer fucking is about right That's what the alarm clock in the summer is just like someone cracking a beer. I'm probably not going to be the first one to do it, but the moment I hear one crack, I go, get me one. Get me one. It's like bringing me in bed. I need an ounce of beer pressure, just a little bit, and then I'm doing it.

They say that the collarbone is the easiest bone to break. Cause it only takes like 30 pounds. You are the social collarbone. I am. I am like a, a human version of a collarbone. I like that. I like that. I have the, uh, the fortitude and the will of a collarbone. And the thing about the collarbone, once you break it, once you break it, like I had a friend in elementary school, he broke his collarbone every gym class, Every time someone bumps him, he falls. So once you break that collarbone, it breaks forever. I've got the fortitude and the willpower of a collarbone, socially speaking. And actually, literally physically to me.

Let's get into these voicemails. They're brought to you all perfect by the DHM Hangover Pill. If you are going to be partying with the Brooke Millers of the world in the Hamptons, you're going to be cracking beers early in the morning and be throwing furniture off the rooftop. If you're going to be getting down and having a couple extra beers, DHM Detox is your go-to drinking buddy. So here's the thing. John, do you know why hangovers are I'll tell you it's because of a, uh, of a, uh, of ass settle hide. Assa, Assa, I'll die. Hide.

That's what it is. It's a poison called Assa out to hide. So that's what you should be. You should be focusing your efforts on fighting Assa out to hide. And that's what DHM detox does to you. It breaks down that poison while you're drinking instead of having you build up in your body. Like most things in life, when you, when you decide to do it it's too late you know it's like oh man i really got to clean the apartment and what do you do you wait until the apartment is completely trashed

if you were just to clean up as you go if you were to i was writing something but thank you so much for teaching me i'll say out the height you know you nailed it yeah because think about it what you should do when you're in your apartment right you have dinner you should just wash that one cup and that one plate and put it away, right? If you were to do that, if you were to keep up, your place would stay pristine. So if you fight that poison every single time as you're drinking, it'll never build up and it'll never cause you to be hungover in the first place. So you drink, you take some DHM detox while you're drinking during your big night and it'll, and it'll help support your liver and help break down the disease. Is that how you say it?

Acetaldehyde? That's how I'm saying it. Acetaldehyde, right? Acetaldehyde? Acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde. So take two capsules after your first couple drinks, and it'll start breaking down the toxins. And if you're going to have a real big night of partying, like you said, out in the Hamptons with Brooke Mueller, you double up and take another packet. Go to dhmdetox.com.

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KFC, Big Daddy Fights, Super Nintendo VC. I got a hypothetical for you guys. I was in an interview with Howie Mandel. Fights had one of the funniest fucking lines I'd heard in a minute, and Eddie tried to anamorph into a water bottle, and just kind of got me with a hypothetical that I'd like to hear your all's answers on, if you could anamorph into anything, like, yeah, animal, whatever,

but like an object, fucking plane, whatever you want to be, what would you choose to have your anamorph be? But it can only be one thing for the rest of your life. You don't get any do-overs. You can't change it up and say, now I'm going to be a dog. You can only pick one. So an anamorph is, I can, it's almost like a, let's say a mutant power. Like I can become this and then I can turn back and then I can become it whenever I want and I can turn back whenever I want and I can only have one thing. Most people will pick,

pick animals. Here's, is that the thing? Uh, morph is mostly animals. It seems that way. He said I can become anything. Now we do an answer the internet type question.

A lot of, uh, one of them is if you could become an inanimate object, what would you be? A lot of people pick dildos, which is a bad pick. Unless you can pick your owner. I would like to be a Bella dangerous dildo. That's not bad. pick unless you can pick your owner i would like to be a bella dangers dildo that's not bad that's not a bad one i would like to anamorph into that that's your answer uh no i mean i'm just saying that's that's that's i don't

think i'd like that because i actually definitely i wouldn't like that because i don't like when you get up close and personal like in porn videos when they're like zooming in yeah i don't i like the outside i don't like the inside. You know what I mean? To look at, at least if you were seeing, if you become it, you'd be like, yeah, I've seen those videos. I don't need to see a camera. Yeah.

I don't need to see your boom. You know what I mean? That's that's all good. If I could become if you were to become an animal, let's just start easy because animal is the main thing. Which animal would you be? I go dog. Yeah, it's easy.

But even that, I want to be feeling It's easy. When you're feeling down, turn to a dog. I'd like to be a well-owned golden retriever. This would be like a Twilight Zone episode. I want to become a dog and you become Michael Vick's pit bull. I didn't sign up for this shit. I want to be a well-owned,

happy-go-lucky puppy golden retriever. That would be a good animal. Non-animal, though? I mean, he said a plane. Like, I wouldn't want to be. Become. What about becoming like a wave? We're getting real weird with it.

Become like the ocean. That'd be cool. That was the ocean. I feel a out of power What if I became a tornado I don't want to kill people Tornadoes are pussies What?

I told you Oh no you weren't on that We had this whole thing on Barstool Radio in St. Louis Tornadoes are fine Missouri you get your ass kicked by fucking tornadoes all the time I promise you this I'll say this right here You can tell cold takes exposed.

John Feidelberg is never going to get fucked up in a tornado. Because you're not going to just be in any of those places? Or if you're ever in the... I'm just going to move. If you're ever in the... There's a tornado. I'm just going to go around it. Oh.

I'll just turn around. Well, here's the thing. Sometimes they just drop right on your house. Not going to happen to me. Like they start on your house. Not going to happen to me. Just because you're too lucky. No.

Just because I'm just i don't i don't live in a town or an area where tornadoes are possible right and then if i were to come about which is like if you do that you're stupid by the way nah i mean i get it where it's just like there are it's like the moving moving's pretty hard for people i know but the but i would if i lived in a place that like consistently like like these people who just every August and September, they just get whacked by hurricanes. I know you like living in Florida, but you're going to lose your house every year. Yeah, that's – I guess that was tough. And here's the thing.

If you live in the plains of the Midwest, it's not that good to begin with anyway. So why don't you get the fuck out of there? I think they do better than we think out there. I think because the dollar goes a long way and farmers make money. But the, yeah, I mean, I'll just go around a tornado. Go around it. I'll just go around it. I don't run a lot.

I'll run around a tornado. This is spectacularly vague and stupid take. They're not like 100 miles wide. The big ones are really fucking big, man. Nick, Google widest. What is the widest? Not the widest. The average width of a tornado. Okay. I would say it's probably like

I don't know, like a couple football fields wide. Yeah, I can run that. I'm old and fat. I can run that. If 600 yards were the sun that was coming at you, you'd be in trouble, bro. I can outrun that. 300 to 500 yards. Oh my god. Two football fields worth. I'll speed walk it.

I need to run around that. I'll just fucking... I'll karaoke around that thing. I fucking need to run direct. That's a joke. That's a goddamn joke. You're a joke. That's like... I mean, fucking...

This office is longer than a goddamn tornado. This office is the biggest thing in the world. I can avoid this office. I can avoid a fucking tornado. I'll juke shit that. What's your final answer on Animorph? Would you become a tornado? No.

Become your biggest enemy? Everyone just get out of my way. Nothing I can do. Like, this is worthless. Should have been a fucking dildo. Should have been a dildo um i would become kelly slater's surfboard or like the main surfboard guy in the world and just all of a sudden bam you know like when you do that sea talks detox yeah you're feeling rough just like pow i just become this surfboard in like the waves of hawaii

i get that salt water and i got a legend on top of me and i watch him ride the fucking ocean to legends on top yeah that's right buddy if i could get kelly slater on top of me i'd be a happy man what if i became a space rock space rock i'm looking at our mural right like me on the moon yeah you want to become but the thing it's like it's like, there's nothing up there. Yeah, that's true. I just be, yeah, come to think about it, pretty good. If you could, if NASA... I'm stuck in a New York blackout, just like space rock time. If NASA said to you... Go hang out on the moon until we're back.

What if NASA said, we've been building like a whole little like facility up on the moon. It's ready to rock. You can live. We're going to send one person up there. We need you to like report back on this, that, and the other thing. But you're going to go up there and live completely alone. Would you put your money where your mouth is and go live a life of solitude on the moon?

Of course not. Oh, okay. So it's just all talk? No. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, for sure. It's 100% talk.

What if they gave you... I want to be alone. What if they gave you generational wealth? So that, like, I don't know. Not you, because you'd be living on the moon, but like your nieces and nephews and the Feidelberg name would be taken care of forever. Like that matters to John. Yeah.

Good. Good. I'm just going to anamorph into a rock every now and then. Thanks, voicemail. What's up, boys? First time, long time. So I just had my first kid here on spinner wheel four wait what stop a spinner wheel spinner spinner wheel what's a spinner wheel oh like

a spinning rim oh that's a great everyone's looking at me i'm getting a lot of attention yo kind of kind of like having like a fun ride oh that's so that's actually such a great thought like everything you do in life every outfit outfit you pick out, every hairdo, you want people to look at you and go, oh, shit. Yeah. If you were spinning rims, although, like,

I want to be able to anamorph into a Charles Freewell spinner in the year 2003. No, I want it now because it's like, what the hell is this? You're vintage, basically. Yeah, I'm like,

this guy's wild over there. I'll be the surfboard, you be the spinner wheel, and we're just going to be cool-ass cats. All right, restart that. Kid here on July 4th. What's up, boys?

First time, long time. So I just had my first kid here on July 4th. So I've obviously never had to deal with any of the bullshit that comes with having a kid. I was just thinking the other night when I was feeding them, so obviously you have to burp them afterwards i was just thinking what the fuck part of evolution made it so that this baby is going to overeat and then fucking puke all over itself who the fuck created that bro so i was just wondering what part of evolution whether it be with nature our bodies anything like that just absolutely pisses you guys off? Anything?

The entirety of human life in the beginning is completely ridiculous. He's right. It's nuts. You think like, oh, you got to burp a baby, right? Until you have one. No, motherfucker. You have to burp your baby or he will throw up all of the food that you just fed him and you have to start over from scratch so babies are like dogs no babies are way worse than dogs if

think about it a dog but when everyone says oh like hey having a dog is like having a baby it's like no no no i know what you mean with like with eating yes they they'll just fuck themselves over they don't realize what they're doing but everything in general this whole time because i ate you need you need to be babies are like dogs in me do you want to come here come here they'll just fuck themselves over. They don't realize what they're doing. But everything in general. I've been burping his whole time because I ate right before. You need to be burping. Babies are like dogs to me. Do you want to come here? Come here.

Let me burp you, big fella. Come on. Just rest your head on my shoulder. Go to barstoolgold.com. I'm just going to burp you a little bit. What you got to do, John, is you got to start low, and you got to force the burp up. You got to go like that.

I used to do that with Keegan until his fat ass would burp. You got to work it up and out. You got one. Yeah, there you you go i'm a good burper otherwise when when you're feeding your baby there's no worst moment when you're feeding your baby and your wife your mother baby's mother is like you better burp him or her like it's been a little while and because you're an asshole and because you hate your wife you know you're like like i'm good i got this you know and you're stubborn about it and then they if they spit up, it's the worst. It's like, I told you.

I told you I just wanted to burp them. It's like, fuck you. When they throw back up and you realize you've got to start over, it's the worst. But all of it, dude, all of it. When people say, oh, having a dog is like having a baby. No, it's not. I get what you mean.

You have to walk it sometimes. You have to feed it. A dog you can leave alone for a long time and it's not nice but you'll be fine when you are human when you are born think about it if you don't have someone taking care of you 24 7 365 you die you just fucking die every other animal in the world like other babies are born and like three days later they're hunting they're just like you go on your own you start your own pack. A baby, as soon as it's born, if you were just to leave it on the floor, it would just

die right away. It would die not only right away, it would die for years. If you left a three-year-old alone, it dies. Like all these things. What age were you the first time you left home alone? Home alone? Yeah. Totally alone?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know, probably like nine, right? Four? That's four. My mom would only do it for walks, but that's when she started leaving me alone. Oh, well, what do you mean for walks? Like she would just go take a stroll? She would just go for a walk.

And then like. Oh, that's crazy. It was the practice leaving me home alone. Oh, well, at least I respect that. It was like. It was controlled a little bit. Yeah, it was like, okay, I'm going to see if he's ready ready for that and then she'd like go for a walk see i i respect that maybe i honestly i threw out nine because i don't know the answer nine's probably i was like in first

grade i was like walking to school alone so that's like six six yeah four though i'm thinking like shea is three and a half so like if six months from now i was just gonna be like see ya well yeah that's fine if i i might actually do that i might say like shea i'll just gonna be like see ya well you should go like 20 minutes yeah that's fine if i i might actually do that i might say like say i'll be right back like uh the problem is it's not that i think i wouldn't be scared for her it would be like if anything happens i'd be in so much trouble yeah my goal in life as a father is just to not let anything happen while it's on my watch like this weekend i fucking drowned those kids in sunscreen. Nobody's going home with even a little bit of a sunburn on my fucking watch.

Your sun is literally just absorbing color from your skin. You are not getting a tan. You're being more pale at the beach. Yes. And it's not that I was worried about their fair little skin. It was I just didn't want to fucking get in trouble. Have you guys tried? Can I tell you a little secret about feeding babies?

Have you tried putting a rock in its food? A rock in its food? That way it has to eat around it and it eats slower and doesn't puke. I am so baffled by what you just said. That's what we used to do

with our puppies. Because puppies... Oh, they would just devour it. Yeah, so you put a rock in it and they bite down it like hurts their teeth well they know they know it's a rock so they know not to eat that but like they slowly eat around it they have like those things now i think pk suban just did a video where they have like specified bowls now they have they have like toys that like the kibble like you got to work your way out of it bowls or like they're like done like mazes oh okay yeah yeah yeah they didn't have that so you think i

should just put uh well that's what we're talking about like feedingzes. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't have that. So you think I should just put a... Well, we're talking about like feeding them bottles, though, we're not like solid food. It's not like you put like a little snack in front of your baby and they... That was a joke. You never know with you. You never know if you understand how babies are.

I understand how babies work. Oh, you don't know a fucking thing about babies. You don't understand the babies to your parent. I know how fucking babies work bro Okay I carry around a pound of sugar When you said have you considered putting a rock in their food I didn't know where we were going with that

Hey KFC And Super Super BC I was just wondering if you guys Think that homeless people have sex. They're all out there. What? Did this girl say her name by any chance? Because you are the dumbest girl that has ever called this show.

I mean, I guess if you're from the Midwest, I guess you probably don't know. I would love to somehow show the video I got sent to me. I mean, good luck. There's no way I can do it because it is way too explicitly hardcore. Nick, did I show it to somehow show the video I got sent to me. That'd be good luck. There's no way I can do it because it is way too explicitly hardcore. Nick, did I show it to you? No. Maybe I'm going to send it. I want you to watch it while you're on the air because it was sent to me.

Now, I've kind of spoiled it because, obviously, you know it's going to be something explicit. When it was sent to me, it was like yo check this out uh this is my buddy took this video at 2 a.m on the subway which means you know it could be absolutely anything it could be a fight video it could be a rat doing something crazy it's probably the most hardcore video i've ever seen in my fucking life and it's definitely two two homeless people two crackheads of some sort. Nick, I believe it just went through. So go ahead, do yourself a favor and watch that and give me your reaction on air. But when you're homeless, you're not going to watch any. Jesus Christ.

Oh, my. It is this crackhead sitting on one of the benches on the sixth train, getting his dick sucked by another, like, homeless mole person. Guy has an absolute hammer on him. I mean, it's two guys. Yeah, it's a dude. For some reason, gay homeless sex is, like. It's, like, the worst of the bunch?

No, it's actually not. It's completely. Like, if I see, like, two. If I see a thumbnail for two two like uh two otters or something like that going and i'm like i don't know come on man like i i know it's 20 2019 so like just not no this is gross like look it look it look i don't i don't find homosexuality itself gross i don't want to see two guys fuck each other. I feel like that's fair. It is fair.

But for some reason, crackheads just transcend it. And I'm like, that's not gay. Like, whatever. It's more interesting than it is. Because it's not even supposed to be sexual. So it's just like, whatever. That is a surprisingly, like, I get it take take it's so stupid that ain't gay two crackheads fucking the guy sucking a guy's dick it's not gay though it's just like yo honestly a business transaction i imagine if you are homeless

and so now you don't have a smartphone you don't get your netflix account you don't got nowhere to be you got no form of entertainment and to your left or right is another homeless fucking a woman crackhead or a guy crackhead depending on what you're into what your gender is wouldn't you fuck that's all you got to do right you got nothing first of all i don't know that i would to be honest i think i you think you just retire from i mean i would kill myself because if i if i became homeless if i grew up homeless maybe i'm like i was born into it yeah well i got born in the darkness i wasn't so i know what regular sex is like yeah oh can you imagine just fantasize about like the smell i remember when people showered before sex or maybe show like right

before sex but just showered in general within the past 24 hours yeah the stench of of you just take your dick and you're just churning up that pussy. It's like churning butter, John. Oh, my God, Kevin. That pussy is just a honeypot of stench and filth from the Grand Central mole people. You know what it smells like? It just smells like wet old sponges. You ever have a sponge that you use?

No, I don't even know what that when you have a sponge that you use too long and it's just got all the mold and grossness from all your pots and pans that's what that homeless pussy smells like really no i don't know i never had sex with a homeless girl i don't know i was wondering if you had this like this is a very vivid description but not one i can relate to because i don't recall ever smelling an old sponge. An old sponge is gross. You don't want to fuck old sponge, pussy, let me tell you. Last voicemail. What do we got?

Hey, guys. Taylor from Washington State. First time, very long time. Shout out, team. I was listening to the episode where you guys were talking about John Stockton and Gonzaga, and I'm just calling in because I graduated from Gonzaga, and I can assure you we are not Mormon. We're Catholic, but just like you, it's a Jesuit school. And I know this isn't maybe widely known information,

but it did get me thinking about a question. What is the most embarrassing fact or information that you feel you found out way too late? Everybody else seemed to know and you just didn't. Thanks. That's a great question. Great question. What is it?

The most embarrassing thing that you discovered late in life. So I you just didn't. Thanks. Great question. Great question. The most, the most embarrassing thing that you discovered like late in life. So I'll just use a silly, silly example. Like you found out Santa Claus wasn't real when you were 16. Okay. I was in fifth grade. Yeah. You were asking for a PlayStation because.

Oh, you were actually making. Oh yeah. Yeah. I forgot we said that. I was just like, honestly, like saying,

I think that's great. I forgot you knew that already so I was just like, honestly, like saying, this is great. I forgot you knew that already. Fuck, man. Honestly, I think I'm very good. I knew all the things you're supposed to know very young, I think. I don't think there were many things that, like, are common knowledge that you're supposed to know that I found at a later time. There's plenty I don't know. Right, but the things you're supposed to know that I found at a later time.

There's plenty I don't know. Right, but the things you're supposed to know, you know. I think I've been on time on my timeline for humanity with learning things when you're supposed to. I thought I don't think this is that bad particularly, but I thought that doggy

style sex had to be anal for a while. I didn't know that you could get in the pussy from behind. You don't know anything about sex until you start doing it right right right uh like as far as like common everyday things i don't know but fuck this is really hard i still don't know where the girls pee from i got it i have like a general idea it's like i've triangulated the area yeah you. I've narrowed it down. Give me a standard deviation of two inches either direction. I know where it is.

If you gave me a backup and I could start knocking on doors, I'd find it. I'd find it. We know it's in this building. Alright. Give me 20 minutes. I'll fucking I'll find it.

The I don't Give me like I start poking and prodding around. It's definitely in here somewhere. I know there's a hole you piss out. Oh. I I saw that. Oh. I told the story about the condoms.

I found that out early, what condoms were, because of my buddy, the Big Wheeze. I tricked him into telling me that. I don't. I honestly think I'm a genius. I'm pretty well... Well, I think we're pretty street smart, kind of. I think we know a lot about things like that. Yeah, if you asked me when I learned long division...

I still didn't learn that shit. I still don't know how to do that kind of stuff. But the things I'm supposed to know... We'll have to give that some thought. And I think that's probably something funny for social media, for the episode. Tweet at us the dumbest thing that you – it's pretty much the dumbest you've ever felt probably

is like learning something later in life than everybody else did. What's the thing you should have known that you didn't find out until later in life? I'm sure we'll stumble upon some when we give this talk. Yeah. But I need someone – this is the worst one that's happened to both of us when we're both kind of like, yeah, because it's usually sparks.

Oh yeah, all that. I knew that too. All right, we'll figure it out right now. I'm not even thinking like words I maybe mispronounced or something like that.

I spelled the word missile wrong my entire life until like two years ago. Missile? I didn't do it. It was missile. I did a missile like S-L-E because I thought I was doing it right.

It's a big missile. It's not, you know, it's missile. Assassin fucks me up sometimes. Ass-ass-in. Sometimes I say ass-ass-a-i-n. Ass-ass-ain.

Ass-ass-ain. Because ass-ass-in is just ridiculous. It really is. Let's get into this interview with Ice Cube, who is a motherfucking mogul. We got to talk about one of the greatest rap songs of all time. Today was a good day. We got to talk about one of the funniest movies of all time, Friday. We got to talk about

his transition from hardcore, controversial rapper to family movie man, and now one of the founders of one of the only successful alternative sports leagues in the Big Three. The guy is just worth a shit

ton of money and comes in just dripping. To get an in-person face-to-face ice cube yeah yeah it is awesome that was that was totally that totally surprised right that's how he ends up i'm assuming it's how he ends all he started it and and ended it that way oh he started it oh yeah i was like fucking ice cube the legends here yeah yeah i mean that's like getting to shake the president's hand or like getting to see someone do their calling card uh an ice cube yeah yeah is i mean that's to me i'm like a hashtag blessed what a job uh this interview with ice cube is brought to you by rone if you're on the go if you're trying to make shit happen like ice cube you're trying to be uh you're on

stage performing music then you're in the boardroom making business decisions you're on the sideline playing hoops if you're on the go like that business decisions. You're on the sideline playing hoops. If you're on the go like that, on that level, your life's that diverse. You've got to wear Roan apparel. It doesn't matter whether you are... I wore my Roan last night. What's that? I wore my Roan last night. I did some exercising this weekend.

You did? Yep. What do you think you are? I did some exercising to clean my room. Wow. I think what's happening is I'm in a good mood for the first time in years like i'm not i'm i'm not depressed for the first time in years right now i think i was like proud of you but i cleaned my room saturday or sunday went to the gym do you think i went to the market is it the live show i it definitely started that's how we started we got off track talking about the actual live show but you know was being on stage and having the

laughs and like no one that i think it's just like like yeah like being like hey like someone likes you you got it yeah yeah it's like you're in love and it's like who's the girl like live show like oh this is like so if we do it regular you think you just become a happy person i might august 14th let's fucking cook man we got to make sure your room stays clean we got to make sure you keep rocking that roll and keep working out. I was cleaning my room and I was like, oh, there's a big difference between cleaning your room when you're happy and cleaning your room thinking it might be the thing to make you happy.

Yeah. There's like a huge difference. Because I've done that countless times. And it's like, no, that didn't work. And it's like, nope, that didn't work. Today I was walking out of the door and I just looked on the floor of my living room and there was an entire box of Lucky Charms that Keegan had just dumped out. So today I was walking out of the door, and I just looked on the floor of my living room, and there was an entire box of Lucky Charms that Keegan had just dumped out.

And I told myself I'll clean it in the morning. And then I was late for the train, so I was like, well, I'll clean it tonight. So I'm going to walk in the house, and I'm going to open the door. I'm going to step because I'm definitely going to forget, even though I'm talking about it right now. And it's going to go, and I'm going to crunch Lucky Charms into my fucking rug. That's where I'm at. So you can take your happy attitude, shove it directly up your ass. But wear your Roan, whether you're on the plane trying to be comfortable, when you touch down and you go to the boardroom,

whether you're in the office, at the gym, whatever it may be, if you can dress down and dress comfortable, Roan is performance gear for the on-the-go go-getter. Go to Roan.com slash KFC today. R-H-O-N-E dot com slash KFC. Get 20% off your first purchase. That's roan.com slash KFC

promo code KFC for 20% off. Alright, it's KFC Radio featuring the legendary Ice Cube. How we doing, man? Pretty fair for a square. Some big news in the, well, I guess unfortunate news, but big news nonetheless in the sports world right now with the big three.

Oh, yeah. Lamar Odom, Jermaine O'Neal, Bonzi Wells, BD, a few guys. They got the boot, huh? Well, I wouldn't say they got the boot. You know, they just, I don't think they're ready to play this year, which is fine. And if they're ready next year, they can come, try out again, and see if they're ready.

When I first started this league, it's not about your name. It's about your game. People want to see guys that are actually on the floor. We advertise that guys are going to be there and that they're going to play. And when they're not, it just hurts the product. I totally get what you're saying there, but I think I'm going to disagree a little bit because I think the name does matter.

I think the nostalgia of the league and seeing the guys that you grew up with, that's the appeal to me. The guys in the NBA that I really knew and loved and grew up when I was still playing the game, I like to still see them play. And I like the style you created. I'd like to see them play, too. No, that's the whole key is to see them play.

No doubt. Not to just come see them. You're going to pay money just to come see guys in street clothes? Let me ask you this. Would the big three ever expand to the point where it's not former professionals? If you didn't have the nostalgia, if it was just like, you're good, you can ball, but you can't make the NBA, do you think the league could sustain growth with that? Yeah, it depends on how the league is accepted by the fans.

Right now the fans love the style of play. So we don't know the evolution of this sport. We don't know exactly which way it's going to go. We're not going to be rigid and force-feed the public. This thing is going to evolve. Will we come one day maybe where it's just the best players you can find to play three-on-three? We may get there.

Right now I think there's entertainment value in the guys the former nba players and players from from other places in the world and that's where the league lives right now but it's evolving every day and um and we'll see you know as the years go by what this league needs to be to to. It's so hard for a new sports league to ever exist. They fold almost all the time. And you found more or less immediate success. You got TV deals. You got Adidas deals.

What do you attribute that to? How did you get so big so fast? I mean, I kind of laugh when I hear success because, I mean, we've only been around two and a half years. But sometimes you don't make it. But the AFL folded in three weeks. Yeah, without a doubt. Trust me.

I mean, we know the history. You know, there's not really been a sport to come along and kind of like put a stake in the ground since UFC. And that's like 20 years ago, you know. So the odds are against us. And that's fine. But, you know, we still got to against us. And that's fine. But, you know, we still got to get sponsors. We still, I mean, we got great sponsors.

We want more. We want, you know, to land a multi-year media deal. You know, it's things we got to do to really say, hey, you know, this is a total success. You know, it's great for us to be in this third year, but, you know, we still have some growing to do. And, you know, we understand what it is. You know, a lot of sports been around 50, you know, 60, 70 years. The NFL's at 100 this year.

So we know we have a lot of work to do. We got to crack through some of the snobbiness in the sports media where they're like, yo, we don't want to pay attention and treat the sport as a serious sport until you guys have whatever, so many years under your belt. All that we understand, and we're ready to play that game. And we're in it for the long haul. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that everyone played three-on-three. Even people who played basketball probably didn't play, even in high school, who enjoyed basketball.

You might have played CYO or some shit like that. Everyone played three-on-three, so I think people enjoy watching that. Do you think it could work in another sport? Everyone played backyard football seven-on-seven or something like that. I think seven could work in another sport or like people like everyone played like you know like backyard football like seven on seven or something like um i think seven on seven maybe um could work but you know it's the reason we are here because we didn't reinvent the wheel you know uh it is a sport that's been you know kind of like like an undercurrent in basketball that everybody has played but has never been elevated to the professional level. Right.

And all we did was elevate it to the professional level. So we'll see. We think we have great rules. We think we do things to make the game move fast. And we think it's entertainment. We're letting guys be themselves on the court and the style of play. And, you know, guys are getting more athletic. We got younger this year.

So, you know, we're in a good spot. We just got to keep fanning the flame. And we need help from guys like you, you know, guys who talk about the big three when I'm not here. You know, that's the next step. Right. I figure I should play. I'll do that, too, though.

So, all right. I mean, you're finding success in the sports world. You've obviously dominated the music world, dominated movies, TV, entertainment. Which of those three do you value the most, you care about the most, you think you dominated the most? Oh, wow. When it's all said and done, when people say, like, Ice Cube, he was what? A rapper, an actor, a commissioner? Where do you want to be? All-around entertainer.

I'm not the commissioner of the big three. I'm actually just a founder. But the commissioner is Clyde Drexler. So I just want to be good at these things. You know, I just want to keep going. I don't know you know i guess rapping is is where i'm in the most control i can kind of do what i feel do what i want movies are great of course uh but it's more of a you know you gotta gotta be part of a team and

you gotta kind of all like a hundred people working on one common goal. So that's a different way of getting down. And in the sports world, it's new. You know, it's fresh. It's new. You know, I love being able to hang out and deal with some of my favorite heroes and players that I grew up watching and have actually made friends with. So it's very cool to be a part of that, but I'm still, of course, we're still learning.

We got a lot right, you know, but we got some things wrong that we got to fix, and, you know, that's just the growing pains of having a new, you know, a new business. Are you ever surprised when you look back and you see, like, how mainstream and kind of like in like a common like household name you became like starting out with your rap career was like

very controversial yeah badass motherfucker yeah said some things ruffled some feathers pissed some people off but then you fast forward to like later in your career you're doing like comedies or family movies there's not many people who have both of those those things in their career usually you say some of the shit you said you're're not going to get into like, you know, moms and dads watching your movies sort of shit. But you seem to, you know, you found a way to do all that. Does that surprise you? You know, it's very, you know, very cool.

And it's something that, you know, is very good that happened in my career, but I always felt like, you know, people were behind and they would catch up to what I'm doing. So I always felt like they would catch up and eventually this would happen when, you know, what,

what we're saying isn't, it's so scary and it's not such a shock factor it's just real and people will accept it so you know it's it's kind of turned out right um but i could have i could have seen it turning out wrong too so in a lot of ways i've been lucky and blessed right position at the right time doing the right thing um and always been able to push my boundaries and not be typecast or pigeonhole. At all. That's what I'm saying. I mean, nobody thinks of you as just one thing.

Like, I'm sure different people think of Ice Cube as totally different people depending on when you found your career. Yeah, which is kind of cool. You know, it's like everybody has their reason to be down with what I'm doing. And as an entertainer, it's dream come true stuff. What you said there, I always felt like I was ahead. And things we're saying here where it's like people know you from different avenues. I feel like there are a lot of parallels to Kanye. Would that be something you'd accept?

To what? To Kanye. In what ways? You have your fingers in a lot of different things. You're an entrepreneur. You're a producer. You're a rapper. You're a writer. A You have your fingers in a lot of different things. You're an entrepreneur. You're a producer. You're a rapper. You're a writer.

Ahead of your time. Ahead of your time. You say things like, people will catch up to me. Would you accept that? Oh, yeah. You know, Kanye, he's definitely a great mind, very creative. You know, I think with you know, with people like us, we can kind of see around the corner. We can see what's

going to happen. And sometimes, you know, it's a blessing and a curse because being ahead of the curve sometimes is just as bad as being behind the curve. You know, you're too early for people and they're not ready for it. So that's happened to me before.

What do you think is the biggest example of that where you were like, this is a good fucking idea, but you guys are just not ready for it? We had Netflix before Netflix. Really? Fuck, man. You missed out. You should have stuck with that one, Ice Cube. And YouTube in some ways. Not quite YouTube, but more Netflix.

We had a bunch of streaming channels, but they were independent channels. We did this with my man DJ Pooh in 01 or something called UVN TV. But, you know, with electronics, you know, or the digital world, you know, if you really don't have the, you know, infrastructure to implement it on a super wide basis, somebody's going to steal your idea and run with it. So that's basically what happened. And it happens, you know. Sometimes you come up with a great idea, but you got to be able to execute it on a mass, mass level very fast. So if not, the big dudes that do this every day just swoop in and do it. Do that shit and do it, right? Yeah.

My man here has never seen Friday. I yelled at him so fucking hard the other day. Do yourself a favor. I couldn't believe it. I've known him for 10 years. You haven't seen Friday? I haven't seen it. And've known him for 10 years. You haven't seen Friday? I haven't seen it. I feel sorry for you, man.

Sell him on Friday, man. What's so good about this film I hear? It's the funniest movie about seeing the bully get his ass whooped that you've ever witnessed. And that's just

a small part of it. But it sums it up. It's one day. It's Friday. One day, it's Friday. And I think people love the movie because everybody can do it. Everybody can sit on the porch

with their craziest friend and trip off the crazy shit that go on in the neighborhood. I'll give you three reasons. Ready? To hear the phrase, to hear the line, it's Friday, you ain't got no job,

you ain't got shit to do. The gif of them going up on the porch and you got knocked the fuck out. You have to see that in the movie. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's one of those movies that, that, you know, we, we kind of did and we was like,

well, if you, if you real cool and you like understand this flavor, you're going to love this movie. But if you if you real cool and you like understand this flavor you're gonna love this movie but if you have no idea what's going on you're gonna hate it and it seemed like everybody loved a movie because they could relate to it because you know it's the day the bully gets his ass whooped but it's also so relatable if anybody can go hang out with their friends when you're writing it did did you know, like, I guess like you say, you know, you see around the corner a lot.

Did you know, like, this is a monster right now? This is going to become iconic? We wanted a hood classic. So, you know, like, we grew up on car wash and, you know, stuff like that that just became neighborhood classics. And we know, like, if you get a neighborhood classic under your belt, the hood will love you forever. So that's what we were aiming for, one of those neighborhood classic movies. And we got it.

I mean, I was like a sixth grader white kid in the verbs. Like, I love Friday. This is awesome. You see, that's something we never even factored in at all like people outside of this world would understand and love the movie iconic shit yeah but it's just it's it's a funny movie and it's got a nice funny angle that's i'm a huge ride-along guy i haven't i haven't if you love ride-along you'll super love friday Ride-along. Yeah, we've had Kevin. If you love ride-along, you'll super love Friday Night Live.

I got to ask you one more thing before we wrap up. Who, every time I listened to it, it was a good day. Who keeps track of stats when they're playing on the court, man? Oh, man. Who's got a triple-double? First of all, you're not putting up 10 assists in streetball. It's not happening. You're not sharing the ball.

You're shooting every fucking time, so you're lying. No, it's true. It's true. You can put up 10 assists in streetball. It's not happening. You're not sharing the ball. You're shooting every fucking time. So you're lying. No, it's true. It's true. You can put up 10 assists in streetball. Playing at 21 by ones and twos. Definitely get it in.

And what about, you saw, I'm sure you've been asked this a million times before, but when the internet tried to track down exactly which day it was a good day was, they narrowed it down. Yeah, I mean, they went deep on that one. That was somebody with a lot of time on their hands. Yeah, it was a good day. That was pretty clever. Yeah, I mean, they went deep on that one. They did. That was somebody with a lot of time on their hands.

Yeah, it was cool to see, and it was fun. But It Was a Good Day is like the Friday movie. It's basically the Friday movie in a song, in a way. Yeah, it really is. So, you know, it's a bunch of different days kind of rolled mashed up right right but one more question that people probably haven't asked you before this is with you when you google ice cube the very first question that comes up it says people also ask number one question when

did dr. Dre die and how do Do you care to comment? Huh? Dr. Dre is very much alive. Very much alive. I mean, I don't know. Now that I see this, I'm like, I'm going to get a conspiracy theory running. Yeah, I see. Yeah, I don't know why that question is up there because I actually just seen him a few weeks ago. He's over at his house and hanging out. So he's very much alive.

Well, so is the big three league man. Very good job. I think it's going to go a long way, you guys stepping up and telling these guys, like, if you're not going to play, then you've got to step it up. It's better for the fans. Not the product on the court. So I think it makes you legit. Sorry, you want to see guys play.

You don't want to see guys coming street close week after week after week. If you can't week, you know. Yeah. If you can't play, don't. And I bet that those are guys who have never been told that before. Right. Right, who have never been told that before and been said, like, look, this is your job. You're doing this. Yeah.

It's been so good for so long, you kind of just get to do what you want. You're not in the NBA anymore. Yeah. You got to earn it again, right? Yeah, you got to earn it again. Right. And it's not about your name. It's about your game.

And if you can't play, you should be honest and tell us. And so we don't have to go through this kind of stuff. That's some shit, dude. Thanks a lot, man. All right, big thank you to Ice Cube. It was touch and go for a second. Yeah, Cube. You're on a first name basis, a one name basis.

It was touch and go for a second with that Kanye question. And everybody felt it. I felt it. Rudy was in here filming for stool scenes. He texted me afterwards. He said, I thought that that Kanye question was going to go for a second with that Kanye question, and everybody felt it. I felt it. Rudy was in here filming for stool scenes. He texted me afterwards. He said, I thought that that Kanye question was going to go south real quick. Because he gave me – he went from – he was very much businessman, and he went from businessman to rapper like that.

He went to 1996 Q. You went to 1989 Q. Again, if you watch on Gold, you see him where his shoulders come up and his head tilts. And we can't see his eyes, so maybe it was inquisitive. Yeah. But it was like shoulders up, head tilt. How you mean?

And I was like, oh, my fucking God. How I mean, sir. How I mean, Mr. Jackson, is, and I mean, in the end, it was a compliment. It's like, hey, these are two people who are considered, like, visionaries. So that's why he's okay with it. And once I explained it, he was like, yeah i think they are like i think these guys are programmed though to to you know rap is so competitive and like even if you're boys with someone you are like i want to be better than them and so to be compared to anyone or mentioned with anyone

and you know especially a guy that i i personally think that ice cube is kind of the opposite of kanye in the sense that he does maybe not on the same level but on a pretty big fucking level of movies and entertainment and i think he did a clothing line obviously it's not easy but he's done he's dabbled in everything he even you know talking about almost inventing netflix he tried he's talking about technology and whatnot so he's done a lot of the same type of shit as kanye and he he doesn't come off to me as like i'm a god and all that shit so there's a chance that – Well, I think it's also he was in businessman mode where I think if you got – because, I mean, he did let something slip. Like, yeah, I see you on the corner for anyone else.

Yeah, yeah. I do shit, and I'm like hopefully everyone else catches up to me. Right. That's godlike stuff. No doubt. No doubt. But he might look at the way Kanye carries himself and not like it. So maybe someone mentions him in the same breath.

He might be like, fuck that guy. And that's where I was like – because Kanye – it's almost like when you play the game, you know, someone mentions him in the same breath, he might be like, fuck that guy. And that's where I was like, because Kanye, you know, it's almost like when you play the game, you know who you look like. And it's like, you could say someone who's beautiful,

but if that person doesn't like that comparison, they're going to be like, fuck you. So you think you love Kanye. You meant that as a compliment, but he might be like, I'm going to kill you, white boy.

It was close. It was close. It was all good, though, in the end. Let's talk now to Ashley and Rain reina there are two girls from the podcast girls gotta eat they are very similar to us i believe a lot of people thought that guys we fucked was kind of like the ksc radio the females of kc radio a female version and i i think that uh girls gotta eat are a lot more like us these chicks were a fucking trip they actually came in so hot that I have to do the introduction now

because, and this is the sign of a great interview for me, when the interview starts and there really is no introduction and it's just because we're having good pre-interview banter that ends up being so good, more often than not, I always turn to Nick. I'm like, are we recording? And he's always recording. Nick's got that shit recorded as soon as people walk through the door.

So the mics might be a little bit low. You might not know who they are yet because right off the bat, they were talking about how hot the Stranger Things kids were, which is... That's something. That's something.

It's nice to be girls. Yeah, right. You can say whatever the fuck you want. Looking Greek will pay and all that stuff. We get to say kids are hot at least. If I was talking... If there was a Stranger Things show that had like four or five like 14 year old girls and i was like oh fuck that girl i would be canceled you'd be in jail i'd be rightfully so by the way we're

not trying to we're not trying to rail against that correctly kevin would be canceled and hopefully in prison if he's saying that but if you're a girl talking about a guy it's funny it's cute double standard and you know i accept it they are they are very funny uh they they do live shows they've got this podcast they're uh they're similar to like our whole operation they crushed their answer the internet so that'll be out tonight uh they did a little tag team combination so uh this is girls gotta eat kfc radio style brought to you by light. You tired of getting credit card bills with high interest rates? I am, bro. I looked at, I never really, you know, we don't even look at your bank account,

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Terms and conditions apply and offers are subject to change without notice. Visit lightstream.com slash KFC for more information. Girls gotta eat. Talk to them. I feel like the kids are getting kind of hot. I'm such a creep. I will check out a 14-year-old guy and be like, this is not okay. Please tell me we were recording.

Yes! Girls gotta eat. They're in the building. Ashley and Raina are here. We're here to molest little kids. You guys have any 15-year-olds in the office? Close. We've got some youngins. We like them young.

We had dancers at this show in Seattle, and they're kid dancers. And I was like, Dominic's looking good. Ashley, his mom was there calling 911. I was like, Ashley, that is, oh, you're kind of right. He is fly. I'll look at him on Instagram. I was like, Ashley, that is, oh, you're kind of right. He is fly. I'll look at him on Instagram. I'll send him to Raina. And she's like, you're a total.

She does stalk a 14-year-old. I think he's like 15. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's legal in like Mississippi. Don't worry. It's good. There was a kid once who was like, remember him?

He was like the wicked stylish Instagram kid. I think he was European or something. I'm sure he was. I kept being like, that fucking kid is going to be a weapon. That kid fucks. He's got it going on. His mom dresses him, so she probably gets the credit here. But it was like, this kid's just got style.

Ashley's got a countdown on her phone until the day that guy turns 18. She downloaded an app for him. I used to joke with Nikki Glaser, that guy Milo that was on Dancing with the Stars. He wasn't 18 and I sent her a countdown and she was like we're friends now. Wait, but which Stranger Things kid are you looking at? The one without the teeth.

Yeah, Dustin. I think Lucas is fucking swaggy as shit. Yeah, I think so. The rest of them are kind of weird. I don't think any of them are. I feel like you're judging me. Yup. But here's the thing, it's not for pedophilia, it's just

like bad taste in it. I will tell you my first crush when I was a kid, and it is so embarrassing, and this will tell you everything you need to know about me, and it was Paul from Wonder Years. Paul. Oh, you weird. I'm gonna laugh. And then remember how we thought he was Marilyn Manson? Yeah, that's the urban legend is that he grew up to be Marilyn Manson.

He might have the least sex appeal of anyone who has ever lived. That's how you know he's going to grow up and be rich, though. If you're ugly as a kid, you don't think about girls. You grow up and make a ton of money. I like exactly where you're going with this. Yeah, homeboy on the right. No. Come on. I don't know. the right. No! Come on!

I don't know! Come on! Do you remember Days of Confused? Yeah. I also like the skinny kid, the guy that was 15, obviously. Coley or whatever? No, oh, the Mitch or whatever? Mitch!

Oh my God! I like how by the trades of property, Paul grew up to take a rib removed and suck his own dick. Do you know that urban legend? No. That Marilyn Manson removed his ribs to suck his own dick? Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. It's not even that urban legend? No. That Marilyn Manson removed his ribs to suck his own dick? Oh, of course. Yeah. It's not even an urban legend.

You're like, same. How many ribs do you think you have to remove to suck your own dick? I think just one. Just one? I think it's two rows. Two rows? Four. I think I need to remove the whole rib cage.

I'm super inflexible. I guess, yeah, depending on how big your dick is, too, like how much further you need to get down in there. You're like, take them all. I don't care. I don't need a rib cage. I got priorities here. I can blow myself mad. I'm trying to come in my own You're like, take them all. I don't care. I don't need a rib cage. I got priorities here. I can blow myself out.

I'm trying to come in my own mouth, people. Take them all out. Oh, my God. That's one of the questions. You can do the chest spreader surgeries, right? Just open that shit up and break it apart.

Yeah. I'm like, look, while I'm unconscious, hit me with some Viagra, make me suck my own dick, video it, and then I just want to see it, and then sew me back up.

We ask a question along those lines that's basically, would you suck your own dick if you could? Yeah, because it's not gay if it's your own dick. But then, also, if everyone knew that you sucked your own dick, would you do it? Privately, sure, but would you walk around being the guy who sucks your own dick? I feel like it would become super mainstream

to just be like, yeah, loser, of course i suck my own dick like why jealous yeah like you're just mad you can't suck your own dick i feel like people would be really oh it's like masturbation like i remember when i was like 19 i realized like other people could do this also this magic trick i learned you know and as soon as you're open about it other people were like dude me too hashtag me too how is it how is it gayer to suck a dick than to jerk a dick off? I do that all the time. That's what I'm saying. I don't understand what's different about it.

I don't know. Would I eat my own pussy? I don't know. You would. I don't know. You'd try it. I guess I would. You'd have to at least see if it's awesome.

I'd like to lick around the top and see. I'm not going in. I'm not like. That's how big our vaginas are. We need two full claw hands to get into it. Get the clamps out and the jaws of life. Open that shit up. I'm of the deep end.

That was a fucking Randy Moss touchdown celebration against your own pussy. We actually use baseball myths to just really dig into that. Oh, right now the sports reference. I know sports. You know sports? Yeah, right now the sports reference. I know sports. You know sports? Yeah, that was a good reference. I wouldn't say that at this place because they'll start quizzing you.

This is my experience with sports I know. You probably know more about sports than we do this place. Are we on? Yeah, we're on. Do we ever do an intro? Yeah, no, I just said you don't get to be here. We'll add it back in the beginning. You'll do it later.

Yeah. This is the interview. This is it. Okay, we're done. Thanks for coming. This is fun. This is great. Yeah, you haven't asked us how we met yet. This is great. No, yeah're done. Thanks for coming. This is fun. This is great.

Yeah, you haven't asked us how we met yet. This is great. No, yeah. Way more fun. But I do know one of you just had a birthday, right? Oh, thank God you brought it up. We haven't talked about our birthday in three minutes. Since the last interview. Well, you said so.

I listened to your latest episode. You said something that was so fucking self-aware and funny that you were just like, we do all these shows and all this other cool stuff. And like, I feel like I get enough attention there. So I don't need to do birthday stuff anymore. Yeah, I still do though. Clearly, clearly. We were at the restaurant

and they had an industrial fan and I'm like, can you hold that? Well, I get an Instagram story of my hair blowing and it's really- Wait, do you really do that? Because we were just saying- Yeah, I'll show you the video. That we feel like those videos are set up to go viral

but you were just straight up like, I need- I haven't posted it yet so we'll see. But you did, but did you straight up. I haven't posted it yet, so we'll see. But you did. But I was like, the fans are here. Did you post the picture already? No, no. She had an industrial size fan, another person holding a light up. So that's real.

Because when we see those, you see people taking photos and videos of people taking the photos and videos. And I feel like you're doing it for the video, not to actually get the pretty shot. Well, my oath. You were literally like, I want my hair blowing and I want the lighting.'ll see someone holding the fan like it'll be funny yeah it won't just be you know got it got it so yeah but i yeah we both like a lot of attention i'm i'm surprised reina doesn't isn't more into her birthday but yeah i like really you know it's your day every day but you turn it into a week and then she turns it into her month we've covered it on every

episode season yeah yeah what do you mean every day is your birthday? I don't know. I don't have a job. I wake up when I want. I haven't set an alarm clock in ages. I don't know. I haven't set an alarm clock for fucking this, I'll tell you that. 11 is pretty early. 11 is very early for me. People hang out and dick around every day.

I go out with my friends. I work with my best friend. I have this great show. Every day is my birthday. You're on the road a lot, right? You guys do live shows all over the place. Yeah, a lot of live shows. That's a grind. It's not like a traditional clean job, but it's hard.

I work hard. I don't know about you. I'm trying. Yeah, I mean, one of us has to. Oh, my God. I'm the man in this relationship. She's big husband energy. We're like, who's the husband?

Who's the wife? I'm like, hello. She's like, I wore track pants today. Obviously, it's me. Yeah. So you're into sports? You're the sports girl? I wouldn't say that.

You made a Patriots reference. I said that. So people just love to attack cancers during cancer season. I think they think we're sensitive. Everybody makes fun of cancers. It's been over the top this year on Instagram. And I was like, we're the Patriots. People feel comfortable.

That's all made up, by the way. Wait, hang on. What are you talking about? What do you mean? That's all made up. Over the top on Instagram, and I was like, we're the Patriots. People feel comfortable. Wait, hang on. What are you talking about? What do you mean? That's all made up. Cancer hate? I'll tell you what. I don't know. Who do you have to follow to see that? Because I've seen zero cancer standards. That's fair. It is about who you follow. But this comedian,

Benny Drama, did this video of what it's like to date a cancer. I was just getting bombarded with them. Refinery29 has been attacking us for the whole year. They didn't even wait for it to be cancer season. They just just getting bombarded with them. Refinery29 has been attacking us for the whole year. They didn't even wait for it to be cancer season. They just started

there. They always do. January 1st, that's it. It's cancer. The look in your face, the passion in your eyes is very

funny. What Refinery29 does is, and I have a beef with them, is they'll do a little thing and it's like the signs as snack foods. It'll be like Aquarius,

pizza, Scorpio, tacos. I swear to God, god cancer uncooked ramen uncooked ramen's fucking i knew you guys were gonna fucking say like so gross men are gross of course you eat uncooked ramen is something i still eat weekly it's not like oh uncooked ramen got me through college like i'll be walking home and just grab a bag of chips in there? Yeah. You're so gross.

I crack it up. The judgment interface now is amazing. I can tell what an alcoholic you are post-college eating that. You know? Got him. Got him. Nailed it. Good spot.

Good spot, yeah. But I just said people feel comfortable attacking us because we're the best. Everybody can hate on the Patriots, but you're not going to hate on the Browns. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I feel that. Yeah. But I just kind of feel like all the on the Browns. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I feel that. But I just kind of feel like all the astrology stuff is bullshit. You really believe that, huh?

Not really. Is this making a comeback? Because I feel like I didn't hear it. I think so. It's hot right now. It was a joke for a while. Like, oh, what's your sign? I'm a Leo.

Of course you are. What does a Leo mean? It's the best one. Hell yeah! What is a Pisces? I think they're a little, a little, like, shady and fishy. Accurate. I believe it!

I'm sold! Cancer season, let's go. Yeah, cry it out. Does the cancer slander have anything to do with the fact that, I mean, it's arguably the worst thing. Well, I mean, yes. I'm a cancer. Also, like, you never hear Club DJ, like, where my cancer's at? Yeah that, I mean, it's arguably the worst name of all Well, I mean, yes. I'm a cancer. Also, like, you never hear Club DJ, like, where my cancer's at? Yeah, never.

Also, it's my... I've also never heard a club DJ ask where his Leos are at. They do! We don't go to the club either, man. We don't follow the right people, we ain't going to the right clubs, apparently. My birthday also is a murder birthday. It's OJ, Steven Avery, Jody Arias, it's like all these murderers. Well, you have to become a murderer.

What the fuck? We just murder the game, you know? Are you into like heavy into true crime like basically everybody especially girls now all I can I can't get enough of murder

and cults it's cause I grew up on Law & Order SVU my dad I was like 4 years old my dad was like you will watch this rape scene oh my god

my parents got divorced when I was 4 my dad was like I don't fucking know what to do with kids Law & Order SVU is what they're getting and chicken fingers and fish sticks that's what's happening every day I was four, my dad was like, I don't fucking know what to do with kids. Law and order SVU is what they're getting and chicken fingers

and fish sticks. That's what's happening every day. I was like seven years old. I couldn't sleep through the night. My mom was like, what's going on here?

Like, why are you having night terrors? When she found out my dad was making me watch rape scenes, she was so pissed. He's getting like clockwork orange.

He's like, no, open your eyes. I know. You gotta see how the world works. That's so extreme, Reina.

I don't know. You gotta know if you run through Central Park when it's dark, you're going to get raped. Reina loves cults. Cults and cum are her two favorite things. Okay, I'll tell you guys. This guy was in my apartment the other night, and it's like 1230 at night, and he's probably like, can this girl please stop talking so I can just fuck her, please?

And then he told me that he started a cult. And my clothes fell off my body. You're getting it all tonight. You're getting everything. I'm bringing the eggie. No guy has ever used this as a pickup line ever. And I'm the only person it's worked on. How did he literally, like, what were the words that came out of his mouth? Like, I started a cult?

New York Magazine, like a month ago, had a picture of a guy on the cover who had started this cult at Sarah Lawrence. And it was on my coffee table. And I was like, this is so crazy. And he's like, please shut the fuck up and have sex with me. And he was like, I know. I'll tell her I also started a cult. And he was like, yeah, I started a cult. And I was so drunk, instead of asking what the cult does, I just asked

about membership to the cult. I was like, how do you get in? How many members do you have? And then I fucked him. It's the only time that that line ever worked. Did you get his number? Yeah, was there afterwards? Let's call it right now. I would have loved to talk to this guy.

Do you even have his number yet? I don't have his number. He lives in my building. Oh, boy. There are 189 apartments in my building. He lives in the apartment directly above mine. Oh, boy. He's physically ghosting me,

like, walking around my head at all times. I hear him, like, with other girls up there. He's like, hey, I'm out of town. She's like, I can hear you, literally.

You're having sex right now. Right. You're watching Stranger Things. I can hear you right now. Sorry, I'm a bit on a business trip. She's like, I just saw you in the elevator.

Do you want exchange numbers? He he's like that won't be necessary I'll see you if I see you that won't be necessary did you guys go out or did you just bump into each other in the hallway we've had sex a bunch of times I've never seen him outside of the building that's actually pretty convenient she just goes up to the roof

he's always up there he plays guitar and harmonica at the same time. Like a strap on harmonica. On the roof? Like he puts it around his... I think I'm kind of into that. You're kind of on our right. If I could do that, I would do it all the time. People would hate me because I would never stop playing the harmonica.

And he's Australian. This guy's a fucking weapon. This guy fucks, right? So every time I'm a little horny... You're 15 too? I'm going to fuck you up. No. He's about to be 18.

We've been counting down. No, he's 19, which is why Ashley's not interested. Yeah, too old for me. Every time I'm a little horny, I just go up to the roof and that's it. What a dream. Is he playing for people or just alone? He's always alone. He's like a barefoot burning man.

Where's your address? I'm going to go fuck this guy. Right. You got a similar vibe. He's got reddish. Yeah, I'm not into gingers. Yeah. Where's your address? I'm going to go fuck this guy. Right. You got a similar vibe. He's got like reddish. Yeah, I like it. I'm not into gingers. Yeah.

He's Australian, but he has some ginger in him, I can tell. He has like shaggy hair. What, like you can't be a ginger in Australia? Oh, he just chopped it. I just cut it all off.

Oh, man. You're too old for manning it. You guys are too old for us. They're like, bitches, you're too old for us. But Reina, so she's been fucking this guy in her building, and there is a lot that goes with that in terms of you just kind of need to look decent most of the time.

And I'm trying to fuck my neighbor, and I'm like, I feel your pain, because now I'm out walking my dog. I'm like, well, definitely not wearing a bra ever again. Yesterday I put on an outfit to walk around the block. You've got to be full on ready for the runway show every time you leave the house. That sounds terrible. I know. I'm not hating.

How could it be worth it? I just put on like joggers. It's not. This guy is so hot. Oh my God. He's about to move. I'm like, this is perfect. My neighbor that's about to move in three weeks.

Yeah, let's get it in. Like, I can't think of a more perfect. Where's he moving? To San Francisco. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, not like down the street

like he's moving out of the city that's fucking that's prime time make it happen girl one of our listeners put me and him on a DM and was like you guys should fuck

and I'm like I love you you're my new agent like this is amazing and what did he say he had started it he was like I met him the other night at like a rooftop thing

and he I guess was talking about the podcast with a girlfriend and she's a big fan and so he was like I just wanted to put you on a DM and say hi and I was like hi she like beat cancer she's this amazing chick and then she

started in with like so you guys should hook up and I was like yeah her whole life is cancer season oh my god please cut that cut that we were gonna make that a social media clip to promote the episode so she kind of did the work for me. That's great.

You got a pimp. That's how I felt. She's sex trafficking Ashley. I love her. Also, our agent's fired if he doesn't start doing that for me. Right. You rep other famous people I'm trying to fuck. Please. Hello. Do your job. Make your 10%. I haven't been late

in months. What are we paying you for? Why are you even here? Get the baseball mitts. Open me up and fucking get somebody in there. Did you see the internet is shaming Jason Momoa? I can talk about this forever. Literally the other day.

This is the most depressing thing that has ever happened to other guys. No. Like regular bodies? Literally the other day I said, is exact body i want yeah so it's like the perfect i like arms i want a guy with some muscular arms and i do not want a six-pack his body right now is everything i've ever wanted yeah it's pretty much the perfect body it's it's still very much in shape i don't want a perfect body you like a six-pack get out of here i don't have a perfect body. You have like a six pack. Get out of here. I don't have a six pack. Girls say that. But like when girls are like, I like a dad bod more than a guy. I'm not saying I like a dad bod.

Not a pooch. I said this the other day. I want flat. Yeah. But it can be meaty. I don't want to like beer guy. I will take my shirt off right now and show you a dad bod. There's no fucking comparison to hot guys.

I'm not going to do that. But like normal guys. You are out of your depth here. Normal dad bods, actual dad bods are fucking disgusting. Okay. You know my other problem with people? So it all depends on your definition of that. Listen, somebody who looks like a big bodybuilder, they hate themselves.

And I can't date somebody like that. They walk in a slice of pizza with me on the way home from a bar. Yeah. Like I can't date those kind of people. Yeah, but someone who looks like me or him. Also hates themselves? Also hates themselves. I hate myself because I look like this.

Shut up. It's a vicious cycle. You guys are guys in New York City that are decent looking. You can have whatever you want. Right. You're just shooting fish

in a barrel out here. Oh my God. I don't know. I'm not you, but probably. I mean, it's rough out here for a girl.

Get the fuck out of here. Girl's going to open the window and yell free pussy and you have 20 guys knocking on your door. I'm trying to do it. I yell it through the vents every day. The ceiling of the broomstick. You blow a little weed up there and yell free pussy.

I get up on a stool and I'm like, Mark, you up there? Free pussy. And it will work. He would be like, yes, I'll be right down. It's very easy for a girl. Now, it might not be easy for you to get like your ideal guy but you can get a guy

literally any time right fucking now yes I guess like quality but I think that like yeah girls can walk inside and have sex but like then

it's getting you to call us after the sex yeah but it's also you want that not like girls but I don't want like after you

call you after like maybe with other guys but I feel like after you have sex maybe like he probably should that was a one-time thing. You get a lot of fake numbers.

We had a good six minutes, and I think we had enough of each other. That's all we need here. You're putting yourself down. You're being humble. But were people really shaming Jason Momoa, or is this a thing that people were upset about Ariel being black? Did the internet just start this fake thing? I think probably two people said it, and then everyone says people are saying. And then all the articles and all the things you're reading

are people defending him. Because that was the thing with Ariel. People were like, people are racist and are upset because she's black and it's like,

I don't know if I ever saw an actual tweet about that. There was one chick that went viral and she was like, I'm not racist but and I was like, oh, you're racist.

You start off with that. If you care that much about the Disney movie there's something else wrong with you. I mean, specifically this one when we were talking about a mythical creature she needs to have red hair

oh my god get a hobby scales and no legs she has fins absolutely have you also seen the bagel boss I heard about it you only heard about it is he really angry, though?

I don't like a screaming man. He's not even a man. He's 4'11". He's a cute little creature. So will you guys film me in on what Bagel Boss is? I'm Jewish, and I feel like I should now. That's what they call Reina, who was also 4'11". This guy goes to a Bagel...

Actually, the place is a bagel boss. And New Jersey? Sounds like it's New Jersey. Long Island. Same thing. And he is fed up with years of women on dating apps telling him to go kill himself, which is fair. That's pretty fucking mean. Oh, just because he's short.

Yeah. I hate short shaming. I really hate it so much. I think it's so rude that women are out here like, must be six, two or above. It's like, what are you bringing to the table? Really? I think it's rude. I think you're the first woman I've ever met.

And I'm 5'10". Absolutely. I had a girlfriend last night. She told me she met this great guy in Greece. She's like, we came back. He's so great. He's short. And I was like, so what?

Like, tall guys are such a prize. Like, you're single. The last tall guy you dated cheated on you. You should be dead. That's short. And I was like, so what? Like, like tall guys are such a prize. Like you're single. The last tall guy you dated cheated on you. You should be dead. That's okay. Who said that to you here? Nobody. Women in general have said it on dating sites.

You think I'm making that shit up? Everywhere I go, I get the same fucking smirk with the biting lip. Shut your mouth. You're not God or my father or my boss. Dude, you want to step outside? You want to step

outside? Huh? I'm not scared of you, pal. You shut up, dude. Go ahead and attack me. Oh my God. What? He like grabs him and throws him to the fucking pool. A tall guy did? Yes.

He goes, go ahead and attack me. Guys, is it weird that all I was looking at was the bagels behind him? So then there's a follow-up video. He's like, I'm hungry. There's a follow-up video where he has his bagel and he's like, fuck this. And he throws it. He starts to storm out. And then he turns around and walks back and grabs his bagel.

Like, I'm not Batman. I still need my everything with cream cheese. But the follow-up to all that is, so the Daily Mail reached out to him today. Oh, this is unbelievable. And they asked him. And first of all, they – Daily Mail is a piece of shit. But they kept calling him like Sprite. Spritely?

All the things that really piss him off. The five-foot Sprite. Jeez. And they called him like the little individual. Oh my god. He's really needling the motherfucker. Yeah. It wasn't in an interview.

It was just in the descriptions in the article. But they asked him what his thoughts are on the going viral and all that. Does he have any regrets? And he says, I have no regrets. I'm glad it went viral. I am the modern day Martin Luther King. I was like, I fucking love this. He's an activist for short people.

Yes. A short person activist. He's carrying that torch. That's the cross he bears. The cross he bears is probably harder than what Martin Luther King went through. Being that short? With all these hoes out here who are height shaming? It's terrible out there.

Martin Luther King had big dick energy. This guy is nothing. He was fucking hookers all the time. Now they might though. There's some star fuckers out there. So we debated that. So this guy is very small. I really think he's like 4'11".

That's basically how tall I am. And even if you're... So you're not a height shamer, but you're not going to fuck a guy who's 4'11". Here's the thing about me and height. I'm still not fucking short guys. I want to be clear. I'm just not making fun of people for something they can't control. Right, but you're still not fucking them.

Right. You're still discriminating against them. I'm just not going to say it out loud. That's what you're saying. Don't get me wrong. You're disgusting. I won't touch you, but I won't say that to anybody.

That's what you're telling me. I'm just not attracted. Right, right. But if a guy was like, you're just too tall for me, I wouldn't take offense to that. I don't know. I want to be clear.

You're disgusting. You seem like someone who is like, I mean, 15-year-olds aren't take offense to that. I don't know. I want to be clear. You're disgusting. You seem like someone who is like... I mean, 15-year-olds aren't very tall these days. Dominic was tall. Dominic was at least six feet tall. Right when they hit that growth spurt, I get them. Their balls are about to drop. I'm like, let's get it in. Okay.

Dominic's mom was at our show. Did you find your line? Is that it? That was it. I'll run that back. Most chicks really are like, we, who was it? Casey McDonald, a friend of ours was like 6'3 and up. It's like 6'3. 6'3 is a lot.

Like 1% of the population is over 6'3. Right. And also, how tall is she? Like, that's crazy. She's a knockout, so she can pick this wherever she wants. But that's a crazy number to have. I don't know. I think we're attracted to what we're attracted to.

Like, some guys want tiny little girls. Some guys like a thicker girl. Some guys would, like, never fuck you if you were thicker. Okay, but here's the difference. That last statement, I think, is the difference. I do think guys will still, like, well. Well, guys are gross. They'll have sex with everybody.

But, like, short guys yeah you're not even like forget about fucking them you guys won't even like look their way you have to make money like how tall is jeff bezos like five six yeah well that's what's funny like all hollywood and all like every entertainer is like super tiny but they're super tall standing all their money exactly i mean look i think like if you're a 411 guy or or a 6'5 woman, I think it's tough. Which would you rather be? Who's it harder for? 4'11 guy or 6'5 woman?

I'd rather be short. I think it's harder for... A short guy? No, you're saying tall woman. I'm saying a short guy or a huge girl. I think it's harder for the 6'5 woman. Yeah, I think for women it's harder. I'd rather be a short guy.

I'm 5'10. Yeah, that's tall. My brother is 6'7. He's like 300 pounds. he played college football delaware uh and his girlfriend is she's 6 2 on a short day huh your brother joe flacco it is it is joe flacco he played with him um had a feeling yeah but she's 6 2 and like i'm like thank god she played volleyball like all american she's beautiful but like who else was she gonna date yeah besides my brother but that's yeah yeah i, if you're pretty though,

then you can find a tall guy and it all kind of works out. Yeah. It's if you're ugly and tall then you're really fucked. Yeah. But like, I,

yeah. I want to know, you just kind of hit the nail on the, hit the nail on the head there. You can be pretty and tall as a woman. I don't think like, there aren't like guys who are like, short and hot.

And hot, yeah. Because hot is tall. There's also a difference, we're talking five, six and four eleven. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess't think. There aren't guys who are short and hot. And hot. Yeah. Because hot is tall. There's also a difference. We're talking 5'6 and 4'11. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean like Efron's hot and he's short as shit. Yeah. Efron's a good example. But I feel like the psychological problems that are bred in somebody. Like a man that's 4'11. Like this fucking guy. Or a woman that's 6'5.

Like that's what you gotta fight through. Yeah. Like can you imagine being 6'5 as a female and you get made fun of every single day? You're not normal after that. No. I kind of understand that. Absolutely. Oh, yeah.

After watching that video for the 100th time, I was like, I get it. Every single time. It's hard out here for a midget. It's a struggle. Yeah, absolutely. I think I would actually rather be an actual midget than just be a really short, normal I was just thinking that. Because then you can date other midgets.

They have TV shows and stuff. Actually, we have a midget here. He has never fucked a midget that's not the word we're supposed to use he doesn't care it's in his Twitter handle but he's not

he's like ew other midgets are gross no he just has not fucked one yet and I thought that was weird and he was like well how many midgets do you run into

I just don't like it's not like every time you're at the bar there are midgets to have sex with right so it's not like it discriminates

I'm sure they have like meetups and stuff is that rude to say midget meetups if they don't they should I thought for sure it's crazy that they don't, they should. I thought for sure that it's crazy

that they don't have meetups. There's definitely like a dating app for midgets. There's apps for farmers. There's definitely apps for midgets.

I kind of want to get in there. You said that so described, like farmers. You could be a farmer in those clubs. Farmers.com.

You know what I learned when I was in Missouri recently? Farmers gotta come. Farmers. I would love to date a farmer. I could milk a dairy farmer.

Oh my god. Just get underneath him and start tugging. I think he's great with their hands. Farmers reminds me of my dad. Rayna is a weird thing for my dad. Lee Heseltine, let me tell you. Great shoulders on that man. Great head of hair.

Yeah, fuck her dad, okay? Free pussy, Mr. Heseltine. Free pussy. Free weed? Free pussy. Mr. Messle-Tide, free pussy. Free weed, free pussy. He has a giant property with two houses on the property, a ton of cars.

He has a plane there. A plane? A plane. Like an aeroplane. Yes, Lee Hasseltine has an aeroplane. Whatever, if you have a plane,

you're a fucking boss. Yeah, a bunch of dogs running around. Yeah. I'll send a fuck those guys too. He'll fuck the Australian neighbor. I'm fucking your dad.

Yeah. You think of farmers, you think of like poor people. No, these guys like that are probably killing it. Farmers are rich as fuck. Yeah. I'll send a fuck to this guy too. He'll fuck the Australian neighbor. I'm fucking your dad. Yeah. You think of farmers, you think of like poor people. No, these guys like that are probably killing it. Rich as fuck. Where is this farm? I learned that we were in Delaware. In Delaware. Big Delaware person.

We were in Missouri and we were at a club and I was like, what are those people wearing? And why are they dancing like that? And they're like, oh, those are farmers. Farmers buy tables? Farmers kill it. Farmers spend time. They're not Amish. There's still people in the world.

I mean, barely. That's so weird to be a farmer. I feel like every farmer just sits in the back of his red pickup truck, listens to country music, and picks his teeth with tweed. That sounds great. I would love to do that. It's a life I would live, but I was shocked to see him in the big city of St. Louis buying tables and stuff. Partying, huh?

I went to college in Indiana. Everybody was a farmer. Everybody had a red Ford F-150 and chewed. Absolutely. And I fucked them all. Every last one of them. That was funny, too. In your last episode, you guys were discussing numbers.

The numbers that you slept with. You guys just both justifying yourselves. How many people you fucked. I just don't know. Let me ask you guys. Has anybody asked you a girlfriend how many people you slept with and do you want to share that information? No, I do not want to share it.

Do you want to know it though? I am a big fan of don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. Don't go snooping because you're going to find something that you don't like. But it is like in the back of my head kind of. I'm a curious kind of. And I would prefer a certain number over a different number. I'm never going to like dump somebody over it. But it would kind of be in the back of my head.

So I do kind of think that in order for me to – Eventually you will dump them over that. You might dump them over something different. But that's the reason why. It's like, all right, so I got six months to find a for me to... Eventually you will dump them over that. You might dump them over something different. But that's the reason why. It's like, alright, so I got six months to find a different reason to fucking lose you. So are you like, kind of... I would never ask it, but I am...

You're wanting to know. Is there a difference between a certain number? I just don't want it to be like a thousand. You know what I mean? What if it was fifty? Is that like a thousand? That's what I think. I said this on the podcast. I've been having sex for like 15 years. Even if that was

five, four people a year, it's still like 60. It's under 100. I didn't even think 100 would be that high. I guess maybe I have a higher tolerance for number, but I was like, 100's not bad. How old are you?

30. Okay. Don't ask us that. You're not allowed to ask us that. I just want to know somebody. You can ask me how many guys I fucked, but do not ask how old I am. I'll tell you how much I weigh before I tell you how old I am. I'll give you my number before.

I just want to know if somebody has enough experience that they don't feel like once they're in a relationship with me, they're missing out. I prefer a guy that is- So you want to be higher. I would like it a little higher. I like a guy that's fucked a lot of girls, I guess. Somebody that feels like I've done what I need to do.

Yeah. And I'm ready to not be single. But that's, you want someone who's been like drained out. Yeah. I want them to be tired. I want them to be one job left in you. Yeah.

I want them to be really wrung out. So I don't have to fuck them that often, you know? But that's, so that's more out of like, you want someone who's not going to like feel like they're missing out or whatever.

It's not... And I know you all feel like that, but a little less. If you fuck one girl, you want to fuck two. If you fuck a hundred, you want to fuck a hundred and one.

You know what I mean? I feel like it kind of never... You can't ever like satisfy us. Great. Good to know. Good to know. No, but I do think you can like get...

Kevin Clancy is so... Get it out of your system. I'm so satiable, bro. What you said... So, so satiable. But I think think you can like get it out of your system. I'm so satiable, bro. So, so satiable. But I think what you said too, like a thousand, that's crazy. I'm sure there's people out here that have had, but like, yeah, I don't, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. I'd be like, so who are you as a person?

Like you just have to fuck every night. Like I'd be a little concerned. And I mean, hundreds and hundreds of hundreds. Yes. Like 500. I think if you stay under two, you're good 200 okay yeah are you under i'm thinking 50 60 i'd be like happy with i think i'm right at 69 do you think i'm going with it i and i think it's there's just a double standard with guys and girls and that number yeah right

yeah you want to just assume that like your girl has never fucked anybody before like you know we're like little angels i think it's just like a male, really just zero understanding of the female anatomy. We're like, you think like vaginas get like a vagina blown out. If it just keeps getting fucked by one dick, it'll stay the same. But if it's 10 different dicks,

like it's going to open up. Oh my God. Of course guys think that. Guys are so dumb. I saw Ellie posted a meme the other day that was like the reverse of it. It was like a fat like an eggplant or something and on the other side was like a little shriveled hot dog.

And it was like, this is what happens when a guy fucks too much, his dick gets smaller. Do you see how stupid that is? That's how dumb it is for girls. No, you guys are right. You're basically doctors. Yeah. I'm real blunt. I'm not a guy, but I'll take a look. You can throw this water bottle up me. It echoes in there.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Just yell into the cave. I play the harmonica in there. The acoustics are great. We always think it's funny when girls say they want a really big dick because we're like,

are you just admitting you have a cavern for a vagina? A vagina is like five inches deep, really. If you're like, I need a nine inch dick, it's like, okay. I don't want to taste it while you're fucking me. What's the ideal inches? I don't really know. I've never gotten out my measuring tape.

That makes one of us. Okay, girls. I'll tell you what guys are doing. How big is this water bottle? What? But that's also kind of like the... It's huge. I'm just trying to compare it to something. This is about half the size of my dick.

Well, then we couldn't have sex. Yeah. I want to be able to have sex every day. I don't want to have lacerations inside my vagina from you. I feel bad for guys that have huge penises. It's painful for women to have sex with that. Having a huge dick is like being a really short guy. Really discriminated against.

You're not going to get a great blowjob. You can't put it places. You've got to slow down. It's hard. Did you ever watch the Kim Kardashian sex tape? Obviously. I'm going to end the interview. That was maybe the most ridiculous question I've ever been asked in my life.

You know who's the most famous person in the world to fuck? Did you check it out? My mom has seen that shit. His dick looked like something was wrong with it. She had both hands on it. There was still dick in the middle of her hands. When he was trying to fuck her from behind, it wouldn't go in. He had to be raised up in plank position just to get a little bit in.

It's a workout to have a big dick. That was the biggest thing I've ever seen. The first time it came up on stage, I was like, this is wild. Oh, you came up on stage? Or came up on screen. Oh, so you guys just show and point at each other? Yeah, we actually, we show it at our shows. Yeah. I want to do that on stage. We had a live show last night,

and one of the questions was regarding titty fucking. And for a split second... I'm glad you brought this up. Are you? Yeah, I am, actually. You a big fan? I'm not a big fan, but Are you? Yes, I am, actually. You're a big fan? A big fan? I'm not a big fan, but I dated this guy for a long time who was so boring in bed. It was so quiet.

It was just, I can't do the joke that I normally do about it because I'll offend people. Go ahead. Go for it. It was like fucking at Anne Frank's house, okay? That's how quiet it was. But the only kind of creative thing that he liked doing he liked to titty fuck me but he always liked

to be on top so like his ass was on my chest and I don't know what to do with my hands I'm like real awkward when somebody titty fucks me I'm like I don't know

what do I do my tongue you lick the tip yeah what do you do and so he lives in DC and we did a show in DC and he came to the show and he was like

I gave him an extra ticket so he brought his sister like a crazy person yeah and so I did the Anne and he was like, I gave him an extra ticket so he brought his sister like a crazy person. So I did the Anne Frank joke and then I started miming him titty fucking me with the mic and his sister got up and walked out of the show. I mean, can't really blame her. I'd probably leave too.

That's unbelievable. I mean, you can't ever... Reina's done this bit. It's one of my favorite things she does. Her brand at our shows, I'm overly dramatic. I'll lay on the stage. I'll run around. Reina is just sexed up with the mics. That's kind of her personal brand. She does this really great titty-fucking bit with the mic right here.

Her dad came to our show in Dallas. I'm like, is she going to do it? She did it. I did it, yeah. In D.C., I fucked him after the show just for being a bit sport. Did you titty-fuck him after the show? I get so drunk to have sex with him, I don't even yeah. And DC, I fucked him after the show, just for being a good sport. Did you titty fuck him after the show? I get so drunk to have sex with him, I don't even know. Probably.

I mean, yeah. Maybe. He's got to do that. It's like his finisher move as a wrestler. He's like, all right, and now I titty fuck you. That's my show. You obviously call this guy titty fuck, right? That's his name at this point, so he has to.

It's his brand. I'm triggered because I can't titty fuck. Not an option for me. Yes, you can. I don't know. I just don't understand it. I'm with you. I'm triggered because I can't titty fuck. Not an option for me. I just don't understand it. I'm with you. I think it's a thing that guys really want. I think when you're younger.

Can I ask you how you do? Okay, so he would be on top of me doing it. Do you want a girl to be doing it to you? No, I used to just hop up on top. You hop up on top. But I'm talking like high school when it was just like. Like when you were 69. No. Okay. No. We talked about this because people. I'm not talking like high school when it was just like. Like when you were 69. No.

Okay. No. We talked about this because people. I'm not a fan of 69. We aren't either. So we said. Well, they were like. I thought he was anybody at this table.

Yeah, he's a child. But you would do it when you were younger. Why? I'll do. Like if it just happens, fine. But I am a firm believer that neither person is getting the best. Absolutely. Like let me do my job.

You want to do it just to like, you know, I don't know, a little taboo thing. Check it off. Fine. But the blowjob's not going to be that great. And you definitely can't. I definitely can't please you. But that's what I'm saying. Like those stuff, you did it when you were younger because you were like, let's try this

cool thing. I mean, I haven't titty fucked in forever, but when I did it when I was younger, I was like, this is kind of cool. In middle school. Pretty close. Yeah. I can't turn on thinking about you in middle school. Tell me about your live shows I feel like you guys

crush it on stage they're great how long have you been doing it we started the first live show Carolines in October last year oh shit so pretty new September

oh so you're really killing it then because I feel like you guys are selling like big spots no we are yeah so that's so

October last year. Yeah, and we really, they are not like sit down and record a live podcast. We don't, I mean, we record them for our own personal benefit, but we don't release them as episodes. They're full-blown like comedy, entertainment experience. When we have big theater shows, we'll do comedy clubs and theaters. When we have theaters, we open with dancers. When does this come out? Probably next week.

Okay. So our Atlantic City show, well, it's tomorrow. I've got male strippers to open the show, like Magic Mike style. We've done guys that have done like the single ladies dance. Like we've had drag queens. And so we do a lot of that. And then we do a bunch of comedy stuff. We have guests come up on stage.

We do audience participation. Are you doing like stand-up routines or like conversation? The first like 45 minutes of the show now has really just been us telling jokes back and forth. Yeah. What I'm saying, like scripted or like you're just riffing? It's like a mix. We know what we're saying. I'll do like a bit, but the audience doesn't know.

You know what I mean? Like I guess if you're a comedy person, you know it is. But it's more just like they just think we're talking and it's hilarious. But we're like, we did that last night. Yeah. So we're, we are, we had our first show in three years last night. We went on like a long hiatus. We've only done like a handful, but we want to try to do them repeatedly.

But our podcast is just bullshit. We just riff. I think it's going to be weird and hard for me to do scripted type shit when I'm so used to just bullshitting. Repeating ourselves and stuff. As I've said before. Yeah, we always qualify it. Or if we're talking out of the studio, I'll be like, stop talking, said before, and like, yeah, we always qualify it. Or like if we're talking like out of the studio, I'll be like,

stop talking, stop talking, save it for the show because we can't recapture it. So is that what you do with the live show? Just the same type of format? Uh, it's like this, but like a little more multimedia.

We put up, we kind of, we put, we played the bagel boss video. We brought out a couple of comedians last night. We do this, uh, video series that we're going to have you guys do after the podcast.

We're just answering questions. So the yeah we're gonna get to do it yeah oh yeah so like we incorporated that i was hoping we'd be asked yeah definitely for sure i think you're gonna be very good at it too so i don't know it's we're trying to figure out because we're not like stand-up comedians i know that i don't like have the chops for that or the experience to do that yeah no you definitely can't I'm kidding. You bitch. You bitch. If you're watching, you can see in her face that she was joking. I swear.

I swear it was a joke, okay? Now you're not doing Answer the Internet. You're canceled. I'm kidding. You guys are great. Was it hard for you guys to get used to doing the bits? Not the planned conversations we had last night. Was it difficult to get used to doing that

rather than just talking? So I imagine those come out of genuine conversations and you're like, oh, that was fucking funny. Let's do that again. Yeah, I mean,

I've never been on a stage before. Caroline's was the first time I've ever been on a stage ever, so I always say we don't get to practice our stuff. When I bomb, I bomb in front of 400 people

and never smaller. But I think the show has evolved. Yeah, jeez. I would never get out of bed for less than 350 people at once. That's crazy. Oh, my God. What's the most, how many people is your highest, your biggest?

We did 700 or 800 in Seattle. In Seattle. Okay, we did 1,100 once, just saying. We're going to do that in Toronto. We'll beat you. How often do you do shows? Is this going to become your main thing, you think? Yeah, I mean, we still need to do

the podcast. You know what I mean? I'm on a plane editing the podcast. You gotta get a sibling to do that for you. I'm such a psycho. I don't know how I'll ever get up. The stuff that I do is wild. I will take out the tiniest little... I'm such a crazy psycho perfectionist. I don't know how

I could ever pass it off. We just leave everything in there. See, like, I also, I can't listen to myself or, like, hear it, so I've never listened to our podcast. I tell her all the time, I don't know how she does it. I've never listened.

Really? Yeah. Sometimes I don't even know, like, I'll, like, like, the only thing we'll ever take out is if I say something, like, too far. Right. You know what I mean?

And then I'll be, like, tweeting about it, and it's like, no, that didn't even, we didn't even put that in, you idiot. Like, it's gone. I don't know. I love that you don't listen to your podcast. I only listen to our far. You know what I mean? And then I'll be like tweeting about it and it's like, no, we didn't put that in, you idiot. Like, it's gone. I don't know. I love that you don't listen to your podcast. I only listen to our podcast. Exclusively yourself.

Oh, that's the other ones. I don't listen to any podcast, to be honest. I don't know why people listen to our podcast. I don't care for podcasts. I think podcasts are so fucking lame. Who are these nerds? I'm like,

you people listen to this shit? A lot of them for hours? People message us and they're like, what other podcast should we listen to? And we're like, listen to ours again. We're talking about it.

Start from the beginning. Do it again. We've been doing longer episodes recently. And we've seen that our retention rate, people are finishing them. I'm like, you listen to almost two hours. What are you doing? Yeah. Crazy.

Thank you very much for listening. Please continue to do so. Yeah, but you're losers. Don't start a podcast and ask me to listen to it. Who are you, nerds? That would be an example of something we'll edit out. Okay. Okay. Thanks.

Now I know. But the shows, I mean, I don't know. It just depends. We like to go out and do a bunch at a time. We didn't know, like, we'd rather we're going to go out and do what? Tomorrow starts, we'll do Atlantic City. We're doing the Caesars in Atlantic City at this big casino show. Then we'll go out and do Phoenix, two in Denver Salt Lake City come back for a little bit

go to Canada shit that sounds so hard yeah we like it we also don't really party too hard on the road we like to stay fresh

I don't know do you guys have male groupies? it's mostly women we had one guy that was an issue in Seattle like a stalker type shit? no it was like banging on the stage

and stuff we always tell the venue security don't worry about it. Our girls are so great. Whatever. One straight white male, of course, was the only issue I ever had on the show. Just banging on. Making a bad name for us.

Yeah. Nothing but good for us. I mean, pristine record until then. Yeah. It's a hard time for you guys. Yeah. It's a struggle out here. Persecuted white male.

It's a thing. I mean, we do have guys that listen. A lot of girls bring their boyfriends and husbands to the show. It's the exact opposite. But let me answer what you were, no one has ever come

and tried to fuck us after a show. So we have guys that come on our show, we'll have comedians come on, they can have anything they want after this show.

We bring a guy up on stage, he has a threesome. It never fails. All of them. And it's never, doesn't happen for us. Every guy that comes on our show,

like at a live show, the next morning is like, I fucked two of your fans last night. It's wild. I gotta come to your show. Toronto, you said? That's the nearest one?

Your wheels. I could see your wheels turning. You were just like, yep. That's an interesting claim. I think you're going to get a lot more male fans now. They all go out and have threesomes. Ashley and I just go home together and just take a nap. I don't know.

Yeah, well, we almost, like, I always say if we were gay, we would fucking clean up. I think we have guys that want to fuck up. Oh, yeah, so are your live shows mostly dudes? No, we actually, I think our show on the Barstool Network is the, aside from the female shows we have now, out of the guys, we have the most female fans. Okay. So I think it's, I want to say it's almost close to 50-50. That's awesome.

But it's more female than you would think. Do you always have female guests? Or do you switch off male and female? No. I mean, we just, whoever's down. You guys have like... I mean, it's been predominantly male, but not that. We have females now, so we've checked this box for the next six months.

Yeah. We're the last ones. You're the last ones. Minority hiring out of this list. Thank God no more chicks for six months. Great. Well, let's go answer the internet. Sound good?

Yeah. All right. So go listen to the podcast. Go to those live shows and fuck girls. Two at a time. Sound good? Yeah. All right. So go listen to the podcast. Go to those live shows and fuck girls. Two at a time. Actually, don't. Do not. We don't really want you guys there.

Listen, it's when the guys we bring up on stage. Just a rando in the crowd. Isn't that just such an indictment of the girls? Just like what? Because you went on stage with your podcast. It's funny. That's all we want. We'll both fuck you at the same time.

Funny guys. That's all we want. I think it's more the humor rather than being funny. And then they have our indictment. If a guy was in the back just yelling funny things. That's not we want. Funny guys, that's all we want. I think it's more the humor rather than being funny. And then they have our endorsement. If a guy was in the back just yelling funny things, that's not going to work. And he's getting kicked out. I think they also have our endorsement.

You know what I mean? It feels like we co-sign this guy. So now you can have a threesome with him. Can I get the co-sign? We'll let you know. TBD, just let me know. Maybe tweet it out. Officially, you get the co-s We'll let you know. We'll let you know. All right, TBD, just let me know. Maybe tweet it out. Officially, you got the cosine.

Let me know. I'll earn it. Thank you, girls. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. All right, big thank you to Raina and Ashley. Go check out the podcast. I feel like a lot of the KSU Radio girls would get down with their whole vibe.

I had guy buddies texting me, how was GGE? GGE. I was like like who is that the gg they're i love them they're great i did not know their abbreviation just yet oh there's only one podcast that goes by three letters you know what i mean uh no shout out to them go check out the podcast also go check out strangest things it's our stranger things recap on my mom's basement it was me bob fox uh clement m and Feidelberg breaking down season three of Stranger Things, including

what is maybe just the most intoxicating song. We've been looking for an outro song for a while, I think. I think we got it. And, I mean, NeverEnding Story is perfect for our show. It does not get more perfect. This shit is never-ending, bro. Drop that beat, Snook!

Look at what you see In her face The mirror of your dreams Make believe I'm everywhere Give it in the light Written on the pages is the answer to a never-ending story. I reach the stars. My fantasy.

Dream a dream. And what you see will be. fantasy fantasy fantasy fantasy will be fantasy will be I'm a kingdom sacred to you I'm bold behind my clouds I'm bold behind my clouds and there upon a rainbow is

the answer to a never ending story a The answer to a never ending story Story