KFC Radio - ICYMI: Will Smith Slapped the SH*T out of Chris Rock Ft. Judd Apatow

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

- Feits shaved his face and looks 15 years younger - Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in the face at the oscars - Feits shares stories from the wedding he attended this past weekend including cursing at a priest in a church - Top 5 slaps including Zack getting his soul absolutely slapped out of him - Video Voicemails - wanting to cry - hype songs and pre-show rituals - Jenga trick shots - Judd Apatow Interview including his deleted tweet that he sent about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, the tremendous influence he has in Hollywood, and much more +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Feits shaved his face 8:57 - Will Smith slaps Chris Rock 46:15 - Feits' weekend wedding stories 1:10:14 - Top 5 Slaps 1:24:09 - Video Voicemails 1:44:32 - Judd Apatow Interview Preview +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Schick: Get 20% off men’s individual items on https://barstool.link/SchickBSS with code BARSTOOL Cuts Clothing: Get 15% off your first Cuts Clothing order by going to https://barstool.link/cutsclancy Sling: Go to https://barstool.link/barstoolsling to sign up now and try it freeYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's Will Smith walking at me. Never did I think that you were about to slap my fucking molars out. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. It's KFC and this imposter pretending to be Feidelberg. Look at that baby face. Ow! Little sex kitten.

I was at a wedding this weekend. Look at that smile. Look at me. I'm blushing. I was at a wedding this weekend, and a lot of the moms were like... I bet. Because I didn't... I had, for the welcome party, I had the beards, though.

Oh! So you did, like, a costume change. Yeah because I wanted oh so you did like a costume change yeah I wanted to like fuck with the bride because I had told her earlier like she'd been like

she'd been like not doing this thing she's like you're not having that fucking beard and that's why I shaved it clean because I didn't

I didn't want to trim it and then have it because it's not as funny to trim it and then have that thing right so I was like I knew I was going bare

but I wanted to get one more night and one more look of panic out of her I actually saw, I knew I was going bare, but I wanted to get one more night and one more look of panic out of her. I actually saw her. I saw her. Oh, I saw her at the church. I shaved between the rehearsal itself at the church and the rehearsal dinner is when I shaved.

So when I was at the church, she was like, you just need to tell me right now. I need to be mentally prepared. Are you going to have that or not? Is this joke on or off? You can do what you want, but just need to tell me right now. I need to be mentally prepared. Are you going to have that or not? Is this joke on or off? You can do what you want, but I need to know now. And I was like, I swear I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And then I showed up at the rehearsal dinner, and I was shaved.

And people were like, didn't recognize. The priest straight up did not know who I was. And then I had seen him an hour earlier. And then it was a wedding of two people I went to high school with, so I knew everyone there. Everybody, yeah. And the moms were like, you're handsome? I'm telling you.

Maybe a little bit. You've been playing like the long con, just intentionally being ugly for a few years. I still got it. We'll talk more about the beard in a second because today's episode is brought to you by Schick. How'd it feel? How'd it feel when you were just like... Dude, it was...

With a five blader now. I don't... You know how long it's been since I shaved? I don't think I did a five blader. I didn't use a five blader. I think I maxed out at four. I used the bamboo because I care about the environment. The bamboo.

That's what you want to do. The stubble eraser. They've got it all, dude. First of all, this feels like you're buying an iPhone. Yeah, it's very sleek packaging. It's like a brand new electrical, high-end gadget. But they've got the bamboo stick. What do they call that?

What do they call that thing? Handle. Handle. Handle it is. Bamboo handle. They've got the stubble eraser. They've got the sensitive. eraser. They got the sensitive. They got the extra sensitive.

And as much as I like the stubble for my look, I do like the feeling of like. Oh, I like this, what I have right now. Yeah. Like a little rough. Oh, now it's like a sandpaper. Yeah. I don't like, you know, when I have too much stubble, it gets itchy. And then I remember in my previous life, like shaving it down and being like.

Dude, it was bananas easy. And that's very much thanks to Schick. Because you also had the trimmer. It's also thanks to a little bit of just my genetics of thinning facial hair. I joked on the video. At one point, I thought I was just pulling it out. Dude, I'm basically just pulling this out. Shout out Amy Schumer. it out shout out amy schumer dude like i it was honestly i i uh uh i uh it was like shearing a sheep like it was coming off and like huge i didn't shave i sheared myself it wasn't like

i wasn't you know some people can just go up and it's all gone I was like keeping it I have it, I'm gonna say that, I have it still I kept it, got through TSA with it Is it even here? It's not here Is it in this room? Wait, if you had it and you brought it in for content I just forgot my bag But that was the plan

I was like, why is it not here? I was gonna do, and we'll do it next episode But I was gonna do it like, hey, I got an idea. Let's play dump out John's bag. And then there's going to be a bag of hair, which is in it. I didn't have a sandwich bag handy, but I did have some trash from when I was on the airplane. So it's in a bag of trail mix.

You have your shaved beard in an empty used bag of trail mix? Brother. Clean face in a trash bag. You are the most disgusting man in the world. You are Frank Reynolds. That is disgusting. Like, oh, this will work. Bro, bro, I was going to make a note of it when I was shaving in the video.

I was going to be like, oh, I have an image of me putting it up and putting it in the bag and saying out loud that I'm keeping it. But I had my two friends in the room. I didn't want them to hear me. So I just sneaky did it. Well, I don't know if Schick can endorse that behavior because it's absolutely

despicable and, to be honest, a little bit mentally unfit, but Schick is the presenting sponsor for the show and the Blade Bet, so if you are shaving, if you're an everyday shaver, if you've just lost a bet, if you're looking to finally shave it clean,

whatever your reasoning may be, Schick has everything for your unique style. Sends all different types of sensitive skin, all different types of blades, all different types of handles, everything you may need. And right now you can get 20% off the men's individual items when you

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From the code Barstool. Real quick on the bet. So what happens now? So we have like one day each? Yeah. So no. As of right now, and I wanted to bring this up, Kevin, you might have fucked yourself going live for the Kevin Clancy show

with Will Smith. I know, and then I get him a lot of subscribers. So halfway through that, I turned on subscriber-only chat. You son of a bitch! I didn't say to do that! Yeah, no, I don't care. I want subscribers, so I did that. Tell me. So... Take the knife out of my back! It's pretty close. Like, right now,

at this moment. Wait, he was like 1,000 off. How many subscribers did I get for that? A couple hundred, but it's something where John. When did this happen? Today. I went live for Will Smith, and I fucked myself. Yeah.

Well, no, he fucked me. I was like, we're going to get some subscribers, but whatever. Work is work. I didn't say to put any subscriber-only stipulations on it. Yeah, absolutely. You son of a bitch. I'm doing this for subscribers. Of course I'm doing that.

So you each get one day. See, I almost don't want to have the lead. I'm going to throw it. I'm going to make people subscribe. Is this your last day? I'm going to make people subscribe, and then I get the last day. Because whoever gets the last day can just be like, I'm doing dick pics. You know?

So it's supposed to be tomorrow when this comes out. It's your day. This is also bullshit because he shaved. This is bullshit. Well, I'm trying to decide. My motivation. Maybe I just took the bullet. And maybe I don't win this bet.

I'm pretty sure you said you would shave your whole body now. Oh, I did say that. Maybe you don't even have any body hair. I got chest hair. I got chest hair. I got chest hair. Apparently. It's not like you'd be like Josh Potter out here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My motivation, as much as I was making jokes about like, let's make Feidelberg shave his beard, my motivation was for me not to shave. So this is bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit now. So, John, technically you have the last day. We're not doing the 31st. That's like the deciding day.

But what does that mean? Oh, just like nobody has that day. It's just like the answer. Yeah, because it's 15-15 for each. Got it, got it, got it. So, John, you will have Wednesday. And if you want to, you could somehow make. If he has the lead.

If I have the lead. Going into tomorrow. So I need to, I could be like, I could sabotage myself for today. Subscribe for Fido Bird. Right now you could tell people go subscribe, do a bunch and like, so that way he passes you. And then I'm going to tell him to unsubscribe on the final day. Yeah, and then John would have tomorrow

and you would have the last day. It's a game of strategy. It is interesting. It's gotten very, like, today, like, I think it would have been. I was up 1,000 people. You going live really, really did it. Those subscribers should be mine.

This is bullshit. So what you should do is go live on my day and, like, you know, make an OnlyFans or something. I'll definitely do that. This is bullshit. So, yeah. Well, but I had to. It's still still up in the air i had to because it was just i mean i would say that will smith and chris rock is the biggest bloggable moment since what

since i don't have a guess right like a long time right i mean i the caliber of people involved it's stunning it's the most unbelievable thing i i was on a plane for it so i didn't see it live so were you able to like find like was it landed and you found out or you found out on the plane no no i'm not i'm not poor i buy wi-fi on the plane so i like i uh it's five dollars if you were like people i have people just don't get wi-fi much that's crazy no i'll get wi-fi sometimes i'm dead tired and i'm like i'm gonna go to sleep i get the wi-fi anyway i want to be in the air i can fucking buy wi-fi i thought maybe there was a chance because you've been on this fucking run where you were like passed out on the plane imagine if you woke up

like hours later no no i did see it i saw it live in the sense that like i saw it live on twitter yeah um but i saw like i think maybe nate was one of the first tweets i saw i was like did that just happen and then like as it happened i was like said it, because the video hadn't come out yet. Because it's always a little behind. I'm sitting there refreshing, refreshing, refreshing. And I'm like, there's no fucking way. I couldn't believe how dumb everyone was. I was like, that's real.

And I was seeing people such as yourself, people who I know, know the internet and know fake. I'm like, well, there's no fucking... Hey, Kevin Diggs, it's real. What are you talking about? There's no fucking chance that Will Smith just slapped Chris Rock in the fucking mouth on stage. In the mouth is a good way to put it, too. And then I saw the video, and I actually... I think the...

Now, are you sold that it's 100% real? A hundred percent real. So am I. But we talked about it on the rundown It's a little bit weird the way Chris Rock Handled himself Because He's got his hands behind his back

He's just doing his presenter thing Will Smith gets up and starts Marching at him He's walking like a guy's gonna hit someone His coat flaps flapping He was like I'm about to go fuck this guy up. Now, part of me feels like

in that moment, I would stand my ground being like, Will Smith's about to do some shit like try to take the fucking stage from me or try to just hijack this moment and talk shit or whatever.

At that moment, still probably not thinking that I'm gonna get physically assaulted. But then, like, look at that. We're gonna get to assault in a second. Like, I mean, yeah, you know what I mean. But then... Look at that. We're going to get to assault in a second. Yeah, I don't know.

You know what I mean. But it's a little bit weird that he's like... He leans into it with his head, and then as the smack comes through, he leans his head... He goes with it. And the weirdest thing to me is... What is this right here we're looking at?

This breakdown, like bracing for contact. Yeah, he's about to get fucking hit. Yeah, but... okay, yes. But don't you think that your reaction would be, like, throw your hands up? I don't. It's weird to stay, like, you know, when you do this, this is like in those Russian slap movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slap challenges where you're like, I have to put my hands behind my back because, like, that's the rules of the fucking game.

Look at this. He doesn't, you know, and don't get me wrong. I still think it's 100% real. I just think it's weird. It is quick. Look at this. He doesn't, you know, and don't get me wrong. I still think it's 100% real. I just think it's weird. It is quick. It is quick. He's fucking. And the slow motion is even quicker.

He's a quick draw. Yeah. I mean, that is, it's actually, again, the slow motion, that's even quicker than I remembered. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It is like. It's not like a cock back. It's like from the hip.

Boom. Yeah, that's a fucking ass fuck right there. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. But you know what? You know what is so funny? Dude, look at the way he recoils.

I know. He's looking like, what the fuck? That's so goddamn real. The smile at first is the Chris Rock. He's cheesing. You know when Chris Rock does that? Yeah. Yeah, Will Smith.

Yeah, you about to slap me, Will Smith. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah, that's real. Yeah, no, that's real. And then the main thing to me, not even all that, and people can always say they're actors, but when he was like, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth, and the way Chris Rock was like, all right, all right, dude, I will, I will, I will. He said, I'm going to.

I'm going to, yeah. It was the most like, you would say it's the most simp cuck way to say something if Will Smith wasn't involved in the situation. Well, that's what he's... I'm going to. Stunning. He was very fucking serious. In a moment where you are known to be a cuck yourself.

Yeah, right. And you talk about my wife's name and use the word mouth. There is a layup of all layups there for a comedian. You're putting it on a fucking tee for him. And you just smacked him in the face. If Chris Rock subtly was like, yeah, I mean, speaking out of your wife's mouth, it feels like everybody in Hollywood is in there or whatever, you know? And it could have just been like a, oh, shit, like mic drop.

But I really think that Chris Rock is just a 50-something-year-old adult, mature man who is just like, what? The people who are like, Chris Rock's a bitch too, would you want him to fucking wrestle him on stage? I do, because dude, can you imagine if they were like, they're wrestling, but then like fucking I don't know.

Other fucking, other celebrities probably be the ones to break it up. So I can't decide what I think. On the one hand, I think this is the biggest bitch move of all time. From Will Smith. It's immature. It's fucking crazy.

It's lunatic behavior. It's insane. He laughed at the joke. Sees his wife. But no, I... Okay, no, no, no. I know what you're going to say. Like, I think he was kind of laughing, like, prior to the joke, right?

And just, like, you hear what you... Someone's just, like, you're at, like, someone's talking about you. You're just like, hey, yeah. And then I say something and it's like, I was laughing about that, not this. And also, even if you say something that I don't like, I'm still laughing just because it's easier than being uncomfortable. Agreed. But that means I'm not going to come fucking slap you in a second. Yeah, because you're going to do that and you're a bitch.

But I think in the moment he was not enjoying, but like this is just fine. Like if the whole time he was like grilling him and then you said something, but he's laughing, sees Jada. And then I think we've all been there before. Was there like, I know that there's a video of. Cause she's like rolling her eyes. Like, oh my God, I'm embarrassed or whatever. And then he.

I mean, also let me, the joke fucking sucks. It's a fucking like throwaway joke. Even Chris Rock was like, that joke sucked. It was a GI Jane joke. Right. It's a total throwaway. Which is like. It's like fucking throwaway joke. Even Chris Rock was like, that joke sucked. It was a G.I. Jane joke. Right. It's a total throwaway. It's like crowd work. It's just like, you know, whatever.

But I guess the argument there would be like, if it's a shitty joke and you know it's a shitty joke, just don't say it. Yes, but also it's, okay, there's a big gap between that and I'm going to fucking smack you in the mouth. Agreed. Agreed. And let me speak to the alopecia army out there now. Come on. between that and i'm gonna fucking smack you in the mouth agreed yeah agreed so like and and let me speak to the alopecia army out there now come on come on bro do you die like do i do i not know

what alopecia is like being like because also what happened was everybody who learned that thought that they had some inside info yeah so they were like replying on Twitter to all these teams. Actually, it's alopecia. I'm kind of like, isn't that the thing that Charlie Dylan away by? I got friends' parents with that. We make fun of them all the time. Especially her. She has her head shaved for a long time now.

She probably has microblade eyebrows, some fake eyelashes, and she pulls off the shaved head look. No big deal. It's no big deal for her and i'm sure whatever fine it upsets you and i get all that but like bottom line there is you can't be looking like everyone else is smiling and you're that man there's just no way uh but my thing is like i said if somebody made a a joke about if they made like a cancer joke and she was like dying of cancer right if you make

like a a kid joke and she had like a miscarriage or a dead kid or something like you the bar to do what he did is insane you have to be equally as insane to say these things i'd say i think it's legitimately dead kids or like dead wife the only person who would say that stuff would be kevin garnett whatever whatever you need to get slapped he told you told Charlie Villanueva he was a cancer patient, and then when they asked him about it, he goes, oh, no, no, I just meant he was a cancer to his team. No, no, no, you meant he was a fucking cancer patient because he looks like that.

I don't even mean that that's the one that was bad. I mean, like, just like KG. Oh, just in general. In general, just say the name. No, you know who would do that? Ari Shafir. I'm trying to think of the comic up there who would say something slap-worthy. It would be Ari.

And I could see the world being like, okay, Ari deserved that one. Sounds good. I just, you know, we've certainly been there. And I would imagine other guys have. Many guys have been there when your girl decides to get upset about something. And you're like, well, I got to do something here. It's not usually like fucking, you know, assault. But there's been times where it's like,

I'm not interested in any altercation right now, but I got to do something to placate her. And I think that's the big picture here. I think this is trapped in a horrible, toxic relationship. Yes. I think that that happens. I think that it happens less often than we lead on with. I don't know.

I don't think I've ever had a girl be like, are you going to do something? When I dumped that fucking, that beer on that girl's head, I was 100% doing it because I was just like, bitch, I have to.

I don't want to do this, but I fucking have to. That's insane. Insane. So insane. And, and no, no,

no repercussions. I remember, so the story, I was at the park, no, the Osprey at the Jersey Shore, and these girls were being very rude. It was at the peak of early barstool, quote-unquote, fame, if you will, when people would kind of treat us like zoo animals, where it was like real famous people, you're almost a little nervous to approach. Us being famous, it was just like,

we will walk right up to you and touch you and poke you and ask you and flash you and all that shit. So these girls were being kind of rude like that. They were doing the thing where they're dancing and like purposely bumping into you and like her. They were being assholes. And I do think there was like a spilled drink that was half accident, half not accident.

But that girl just, bam, smashed my girl in the face with a drink. And I was like, fuck. And I poured a full, one of those aluminum bottles of Bud Light. Like, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub. And I remember doing it like this, kind of being like, oh, like the boyfriend or the bouncer, someone's going to. But I remember being like, I got up because the alternative is I go home and for the next six months I hear about like,

oh, remember those fucking groupies were doing this and that and the other thing and you didn't stand by, you know? And I was like, whatever happens here will be a lesser punishment than what I deal with for fucking weeks and months to come. Usually when you have to do something, it's to a man. I know. That's the worst part. Usually it's like, all right, if it's a chick,

that's your business. You handle that. Yeah, for real, you're right. But the... I think that he... I think Janet Pinkett has him trapped. I don't know how or why, but what is he... She's fucking other people. You're writing books about how upset you are

and people say that you're jealous of Tupac still and you're crying and you're puking. It's like, just don't. Just be divorced. I think most poisonous things on the planet, the root is religion. So I'm guessing there's some Scientology shit going on here. I'm guessing there's some. We don't really understand.

I could see that. I also think there's some good old-fashioned blackmail going on. Oh, that's Scientology. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like step one of scientology sticking around here i think she's just like i'm gonna tell the whole world that you're gay or that you did some weird shit or you're into some weird shit and he but like who unless it's illegal who cares yeah well smith and up until this moment like he's lost his way but he's fucking cool man like he's lost his way, but he's fucking cool, man. Like, he's still gonna be good.

I mean, like, dude, he was cool as fuck last night. So that was my thing. That's what I wanted to ask. I got sidetracked. He had... I said it's a bitch move, but it's like a made man mob boss.

I can walk up to you, pop you in the mouth, and not only... Do I not get arrested or anything? Like, nobody lifts a finger. And then two minutes later I go win the award yeah

I mean that is some fucking gangster shit I definitely don't think it's a bitch move I don't think any part of that is bitch I think that's all fucking

I think if it was him he sends a joke about him I think maybe you could be like you're being a pussy dude but also like

maybe not bitch but that's a loser move I think anyone who's like, it's just jokes. I think it's almost like us making fun of people with pranks. Like, it's just a prank, bro. Well, guess what? Sometimes pranks get you fucking hit. I know.

But there's a level to a joke that that response is warranted, and that was not it. But that's all for us to decide. It's up to the fucking dude who's going to hit you. I guess, but it feels like it's up to Jada Pinkett to decide. I think Jada Pinkett's a fucking asshole. That's what I think. I think these are two people who are maladjusted and don't understand the rest of society.

Oh, that's undeniable. I think this is far more badass than it is anything else. Just because you're like, none of you are going to do anything to me. I'm going to come up here and I'm going to fucking hit this dude in the mouth. Denzel and them said that Denzel and Tyler Cowdery ran over and like were. They didn't comfort. It wasn't comfort. It was.

I mean, they were laughing and choking his hands on it. Yeah, I mean, the pictures were laughing. That's not like. But that's not like walking over there being like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Yeah. But I mean, it's. But it's also like that. All right.

Really the crux of my thing here is it's not that big. It's insane. It's insane. Dude, it's a big deal. It's insane. But slapping someone isn't that big a deal. What are you talking about? Look, on stage, at the Oscars, that's all fucking nuts.

Yes, but that's where it happened. But when people are like, this is assault. It's not fucking assault. I mean, technically, by the letter of the law, it is. But when people are like, I can't believe Chris Rock didn't press charges, or is he going to press charges? Stephen Jay said he should press charges.

Of course. Big Cat was like, I'm going to get you framed for murder. No, that's all. I wouldn't get someone kicked out of a bar for that. That's it. If you did that at an event or something,

I would be like, what are you doing? You're fucking an idiot. You're a loser and you're embarrassing yourself. And you are like a mega famous superstar. And you are like stooping to a ridiculous level. I wouldn't just be like, oh, you slapped somebody. But you'd be like, I don't want to fuck with that dude. That dude's nuts.

Right. Well, yeah, I think it's far more that dude's crazy than it is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I think that's like that dude's whipped by his girl and he slapped her in the face because of it. I think there's a weird level of... I hope there's another fucking camera angle. Because like, what could she have done? It was so fast.

You think she looked that angry? There's like, she looks angry. She looks like mildly displeased in that video I wouldn't see that In my wife or my girlfriend I gotta go fucking create history

No no I think this is more like the straw that broke the camel's back I don't think there was like We have a signal like when I Yeah yeah right But I think this is like He's in some sort of weird Toxic relationship where he's And I sort of weird toxic relationship where he's and i'm totally fucking armchair fucking what's it called armchair doctor i'm sure back whatever it

is yeah where it's like who fucking knows what goes on in their relationship but everything we've seen seems like super weird it seems like she's the boss it seems like she gets to fuck other people and he doesn't really want that to be the case. She's fucking her son's friends. That's weird. And it's like, I think that he probably was just like, I'm going to snap one day. National television on your big night. Yeah. You're going to win best man or best actor.

That's where I was like, the world is a fucking, it's all a stage, bro. Like the fact that he won, I could have seen a scenario where the Academy like pulled that. There there's rumors about it right now but there's i mean well they have to put the rumors the best case now to be like we were going of course we were going to i mean like they did put up some thing that said we have no tolerance for violence it's like well apparently you do yeah apparently you do have some job you tolerate it to the point that you celebrate the man and give him the stage for fucking 10 minutes. But you can't not give the guy the award. I mean, he was the very clear favorite.

I'm surprised by that, by the way. I haven't seen the movie. It's good. And as far as I know, like I said earlier, when Jamie Foxx played Ray Charles, we knew what Ray Charles looked like and talked like and mannerisms and shit. So it was like, oh, he nailed that. I don't really know what he was like. And I think he did a good job.

But I was just surprised. And I'm talking about movies I haven't seen. But I was surprised that Denzel doing some Shakespeare shit, Benedict Cumberbatch doing some gay shit, and whatever happens to Coda. Coda's dope. But Coda, they won. Coda, he won. There was no best actor in Coda.

Oh, OK. He was the leading man, but Koda they won. Koda they won. There was no best actor in Koda. Oh, okay. He was the leading man, but he wasn't a star. I could just see other more typical, like at the end of the day, that's a sports movie. And that just doesn't usually win. Yeah. I was surprised that some of the other clear theatrical type performances didn't edge it out. But Koda was big, big fire. And Tony Kotzer was.

I'm done I'm not watching movies that make me cry anymore ah I love I actually I loved my crying it was a lot of fun crying to Koda

I almost should because I like you gotta get it out but I can't commit to like you know two and a half hours tonight I got no kids Koda's pretty short too I think

oh is it I was at hour 45 maybe hour 45 so yeah but I can't commit to like okay I'm gonna do that and just cry so i haven't

watched it yet but i don't you know i don't deny it's it's it sounds like it's fucking incredible but um and then that speech sucked tony's tony's oh oh you're talking about tony's will smith because he even starts it by saying like will uh richard williams was a man who fiercely defended his family and i thought he was going to be like, and you know, I showed that tonight, but like, you know,

but I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, he's talking about the devil and the girls. I protected the girls who played Venus and Cerulean. What are you talking about? You protect. I, I,

I must say, I did not watch the speech. It was, it was like, I mean, talk about, you know, when we used to do a electric chairs and the audience would be ahead.

So the, the, the viewers would spike up. because they were like, we got to see how he reacts to this home run. That was that moment. People were probably tuning in, knowing he won. And as he's walking up, I feel like viewers were literally edge of their seat like, what is he going to say? And that speech was like, and then he calls himself a vessel for love. I saw that. He gave you a vessel for love when you literally, by the letter of the law, committed assault a second ago.

The video of him afterwards, I actually haven't played it with audio. What song is he dancing to? What do you think? Is he getting jiggy with it? I saw people saying that, and I was like, they must be joking. He's going hammering. He's got his fucking Academy Award in his hands.

You know what's funny, too? I'm all in on this. Never mind. I'm fucking. This is a pro-Wilson side of the podcast. KB just. Bam! Oh, God.

That was really fucking hard. Holy shit. Let me just tell you right now. Brandon got TJ before, and it's fucking brutal. Let me just tell you right now. If we're ever doing slap content for following that, do not hit me that hard. I will just tell you the truth right now. If we're ever doing like slap content for fun like that, do not hit me that hard. I will have a fucking

serious problem with that. I feel like dancing to Getting Jiggy With It, you know what's funny? In like the second verse of Getting Jiggy With It because I played it for the youths

of our show here. I was like, do you guys even know what Getting Jiggy With It is? They had no idea. In that song, he goes, never see Will attacking them. Rather play ball with Shaq and them.

Not anymore. Apparently times have changed. That is pretty cocky to have your... But I even feel like... I think there's a difference between not giving a fuck and pretending to not give a fuck. I feel like Will Smith, he was crying. He was a mess.

Oh, he's a psychopath. I love a psychopath. He's fucking... Do you, he was a mess. Oh, he's a psychopath. Yeah. I love a psychopath. Yeah. He's fucking. Do you think he's crazy or do you think he's like broken and like just like. All of it.

Yeah. That's why I'm like, no, I forgot about that. The fact that it was Gagey with it, 100% love Will Smith. They say, because Diddy just jumped in here. I saw he did.

Jerry Springer. He was on stage, I guess, either to present or he just hijacked it or whatever. I don't think it was aired. But he said, like, we're going to get, like, these are two brothers, and we're going to deal with this at Beyonce's gold party.

Like, we're good. I'm sure Beyonce was kind of like, wait, what? We're not going to settle the score at my fucking party. And then afterwards, like, he talked to Page Six, and Diddy was like, I can confirm that, like, they squashed this beef. No, they didn't. Oh, they talked to that thing? Apparently.

Or at least, like, they were there, I guess. The one where he was dancing was the Vanity Fair after party. Diddy was talking about the Beyonce party. I don't know where they said they squashed it. But even if they did, like, even if— I think I would forgive this so quick Really? I think I'd be like

I could see my move might be like Yeah yeah whatever man But also fuck you I hate your guts You think you have genuine forgiveness in that moment? That was so nuts Like you almost have to laugh about it Like bro what were you fucking thinking dude? That was insane I thought you were going to laugh about it yeah bro what were you that was insane

well even there's like i thought you were gonna come up and like we were gonna like joke around or something i mean yeah it's will smith walking at me never did i think that you were about to slap my fucking molars out did you see when they all walked away after it? Like, you know, when the presenters and the hot girls come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all kind of walk away. And there's a shot of Chris Rock. And he's like, Jesus Christ.

Like, just, but not in a way of like, where's the manager? Like, let me, you know, he was just like. Yeah. What the fuck? What am I going to do there? But, okay, so I think if Will Smith came up to me and said like, yo bro, I lost my shit.

And like, you know, what's been going on and that fucking, that August guy, he was fucking my wife and like all that shit. Like I lost it. And then I could be like, you know,

cool. Yeah. But he like, when he went up there and he apologized to the Academy and all his nominees, not him. Like it seemed like he went out of his way to be like no i apologize to everyone except for that fucking bitch who's talking about my wife if you want another slap i got another hand yo it is just so staggering too that it's it's the perfect storm for everything for like there's no done, so we can all make fun of it and talk like this.

It's two guys, same age, basically, same level of fame, basically. I guess the only thing is one was bigger than the other, physically. But two black guys in the same realm, on the same level of fame. Oh, man, I wish there was a white person who slapped a black person and they got to sit back down.

That would be unbelievable. Bro, that would be unbelievable. my god if a bro that would be unbelievable wait what do you think what do you think is more crazy what do you think I think what if Tony Kotzer

went up there and fucked the guy from CODA and fucking slapped Chris Rock in the mouth what do you think is crazier if a white guy

got up and slapped the black guy for obvious reasons that would be like holy fucking shit but I also think it would be unbelievable if it was

if it was like a white guy and and like Will Smith's just marching at you because I don't think I think Chris Rock just takes that I think the wrong guy in Hollywood like a little like little white fucking theater kid would like collapse to the ground and be like like a soccer player

like ahhh Chris Rock who would you want to see him hit the most there's like cover batches in my head there's a lot of people who don't get hit because the second will smith takes the stage they take off they're gone right that's what i mean like chris rock i don't think of him as some badass but he's a you know he's he stood his ground and all that shit. I think if you get some like, um, who's like a little tiny bucket and I can't even think of a good example. I really can't think of one either.

Just some like, um, Fred Armisen, like the, the, uh, um, the redhead guy from modern family, like Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I could see him being like, all right, never mind, never mind. As soon as he gets up, like something's happening here and I don't want to be a part of this. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not getting Kanye'd.

But I could see it being funny either way. Like just a white guy getting like just slumped into a pile of fucking clothes on the stage and Will Smith just turns around. This is payback for jake paul and nate robinson but i mean imagine the other way around if that was the other way around i hate to play that imagine if a white guy oh there's so much what ifs the whole time now i know and like and they're they're in the dame like what if this is the fun one what What if a fucking white guy slapped a black guy at the Oscars so white?

If that happened, I mean. It started a race war, and it should. And it should. Denzel, Tyler Perry, Diddy, all those people, Questlove, all those people who were involved, they are on stage just fucking. It's reverse Rodney King. That dude is dead on stage. The race war begins.

And we would look back in textbooks and be like, yeah, that was fair. That was fair play. That was the moment. We'd really, we'd really crossed the line with that one. It is just, I mean, staggering. It really reads like Mad Libs, you know? It's like, like just insert names. And the fact that it was two guys.

Benedict Cumberbatch would have licked his fingers first. Get the powder out. That just seems like some British shit. That is so demoralizing, man. So demoralizing. I saw someone call it his simpand, not his pimpand. His simpand's so strong. Don't you, at the end of the day, though,

feel like Will Smith had to go home and be like Jada can you like stop being horrible to me now clearly do you see what you're doing to me

right look at what I've become let's just have a talk real quick yeah do you see what's happening I just slapped a man on stage

while 13 million people watched right cause cause he made fun of your hair then I cried into a microphone and then I danced to my own music. This is a full breakdown. Do you want to look up the definition

of manic for me real quick? Or is this enough that you've lived it? It's so true. And like Jaden Smith tweeted, and that's how we do it? I've been on a roller coaster of hysterically laughing, maniacally crying crying and being violent

for the last four hours. You want to step in here, Jada? Can we go home now? Can we go home, please? Crazy. I don't know. They went more drag. Oh, God! Man, it is.

I said not discounting. I was trying to think of the craziest moments of live tv because there have definitely been more crazy things that have aired on tv but like we were watching news coverage when the second tower got hit yeah i mean we were we tuned in for something crazy i think our bud dwyer blowing his head off at whatever the fuck that was being televised I think the Challenger that was a bad one and like I mean you know obviously those are like fucking

way worse and way tragic but like as far as when you were tuning in for some entertainment and you got that you know it's up there as far as like, and again, because of the cash I can't even speak to it because unfortunately

I didn't see it. So I didn't have that. It actually really sucks. I didn't have that initial like, well, I knew what had happened and I was waiting to see it. Right. But if I saw it live, I'd have been like, there's no way. Well, especially because in America, they cut it.

That was the first thing I saw. When he I'd have been like, there's no way. There's no way. Especially because in America, they cut it. The only thing that happens is Japanese or Australian. That was the first clip I saw. When he slapped and just walked away and that was it. No, no, no. The first clip I saw was Japanese or Australian or whatever it was. Now, so I've been waiting for kind of the reaction of everyone today. Tiffany Haddish weighed in. Tiffany Haddish said that she fully supports Will Smith.

Me too. She said it was the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. She said to watch a black man stand up for her. I don't really love people making... I know there's two black people involved. People were telling Kelly Keegs to stop talking about it because we're white. I was like,

what? What does that mean? Somebody tweeted at Kelly replying to one of Kelly's tweets being like, it was almost like Chappelle's show, like the black delegation. It was like black people are requesting that. Is that a popular thing, though? Yeah, one person said it.

She said, we're asking all non-black people to stay out of this affair. Thank you for respecting our privacy. Get the fuck out of here. But that's a crazy person. That doesn't seem to be the general vibe of the internet. I think there's a racial undertone to it for sure, I think. I don't think it's like, I don't know how many people are saying that, but Tiffany Haddish specified like watching a black man stand up for her husband was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I appreciate it.

She said it meant the world to me. And then she said that she went up to Jada Pinkett and she said, you better suck his dick from the back tonight. I agree with. I just don't think it's going to happen. Japs is sweet. He's just going to get that thing sucked on. Do you see

Malisak's? He's like, she must have that grippy grippy. She must have that grippy grippy. No, she must have that fucking blackmail blackmail. I don't think that he's getting his dick sucked that night. I feel like if anything, that was... Oh, come on. Best actor and you slap it in the face?

He's getting his dick sucked, not by Jada Pinkett. Why not? They fuck still. I don't think they do. Why? Because she's fucking everybody else. But that's okay. People cheat and still fuck their significant others.

Yeah, but I think part of the problem is that Jada Pinkett fucks everybody and Will Smith doesn't. And that's why he's always crying and writing books about how he's puking when he fucks other girls. But yeah, I mean, there ain't no sex like I just won best actor. Bitch slapped the man I made the most. Bro, there hasn't been an instance of such chivalry since medieval times. Yeah, for real. That's why it's ridiculous. There are fucking knights who beheaded people because they fucking looked at their girlfriend sideways.

And then there's Will Smith. That's fucking. You look up fucking blank in the dictionary you see a picture put Will Smith next to Chivalry that man's a god damn hero

it's like King Arthur you're out he should be the first American knighted ooh I like that Sir Will Smith what did you do bitch slap

Chris Rock I am excited to see what Chris Rock I mean if there's anybody to inspire and be a muse for, Uncut Gems. I feel like Chris Rock, who has done it all, and probably in some instances is kind of like,

you know, I could do another special, I guess, but what's the point? Now you got something like this? Yeah, I think Chris Rock could be. He should go to the Slap Tour or something like that. Chris Rock is obviously, no doubt, a legend. I think he could could be... He should go to the slap tour or something like that. Chris Rock is obviously no doubt a legend. I think he could use a kick in the ass. I feel like you're so team Will Smith that it's disrespectful to Chris Rock. I'm humongously team Will Smith.

I'm so Chris Rock now because I'm so disrespectful to Chris Rock. I'm so team Will Smith. Why am I disrespectful to Chris Rock? Because you gotta pick a side. Uh-huh. And you're picking a side. Yeah, he is. If Chris Rock came in the room and you were sucking Will Smith's dick from the back like you are,

he'd be like, fuck you, man. Yeah, for sure. Chris Rock openly admitted he told a not a very good joke. By that, I don't mean offensive. I just mean it was a very good joke. And then I'm a little down on Chris Rock after the 9-11 thing when he was just like, I don't even have jokes up here. Well, it's because he was filling in for drunk Dave Chappelle.

Yeah, but he's thinking you have jokes. You're a joke teller. Joke's joke teller. Tell jokes, joke teller. You're like, dance monkey. Dance for me, boy. In front of fucking 20,000 people,

he's like, I don't have anything to say. What do you mean? Still 10 minutes, Chris. No, man, he is the fucking, he is an absolute legend. I love Chris Rock.

I think him at his peak is pretty untouchable. I might be joking a little bit here, but I want to be very clear. I think we should get Chris Rock in here and you should tell him that I'll slap

you in your fucking teeth because I'm Team Will Smith. And then my favorite piece of the reaction, the backlash if you will, I mean, Judd Apatow saying that he could have killed him is just one of my favorite tweets of all

time. Dude, it is. It's like, unless... Did Judd Apatow think he he could have killed him is just one of my favorite tweets of all time. It's like, unless... Did Judd Apatow think he was carrying a fucking shiv? Did he think that there was a chance there was a weapon involved? I don't know how we jumped to murder. I will say this. It was not a... I mean, it was a unique take, but it wasn't a wholly unique.

A lot of people saying that? Not a lot. Like violence, though? I saw a thread of a doctor who was explaining how it was. Yeah, I get how it could have killed him. Like, Chris Rock tripped. He hit his head. Whatever that shit is.

Like, yeah. In an absolutely literal world, if he falls down and hits the step, something insane could happen. He could have slapped him, and then someone in the crowd could have shot him and then someone else in the crowd could have shot him. Yeah, that's...

Those are how I think people die. Right. But, like, on this fucking planet? No. No. Not really a big deal. Dude, the doctor,

the doctor the threat I saw was fucking... She said that, uh, her first example was if Will Smith had done that to Betty White, she could... She would have died.

Yeah! And I was like, well, yeah. First of all, she would have died. Yeah. And it's like, well, yeah. First of all, she's already dead. Second of all, if a grown man slaps a bag of bones 100 years old, Betty White would have turned into dust. She would have disintegrated. And then I love the other people who are kind of the exact other side. We're like, Will Smith would have done that if it was the rock up there. They're like, yeah, no fucking shit.

That's part of being the bigger person. You can fucking hit people. That's why you're big. It's pretty rare the little guy's the first one to throw a punch. Yeah, man. Unless you're talking about some Mexican UFC dude. If you got slapped, what do you think you would do? Exactly what Chris Rock did yeah

in that situation but I don't think that's a bad thing I think I think we've talked about this before I think that's like the adult way to handle it in order for me to get physical you probably have to

do something to a woman I'm with I don't think I mean if you're gonna but if you're gonna punch me and you're gonna fucking keep punching me well then yes but if you just like do that yeah and you start walking away fucking keep punching me, well, then yes. But if you just do that, you start walking away.

I feel like I, and I'm not a fighter at all, but I think I'd be worried that I would just instinctively grab you or something. And then we end up rolling around on stage, looking like one of those cartoon fights where there's a ball of dust. You know what I mean? But if you hit me, I think, and again, not being a fighter at all, I think it takes a severely comfortable and like secure dude to really just eat it. He didn't take his hands from behind his back.

Like not a this, not a that, not a fucking grab. I mean, it's because Will's got that fucking quick draw, baby. You don't have a chance when Will Smith's coming at you. You know, like back up. I mean, he's because Will's got that fucking quick draw, baby. You don't have a chance when Will Smith's coming at you. You know, like, back up. I mean, he just stood there. And that is, like, some stoic shit that I feel like deserves more credit than it's getting. People saying that he's a bitch. It's like, we're not in the octagon here.

I don't think there's a bitch involved here. Well, Jade is involved. Jade is involved. Got her! Come get me, Will! Come get me! I would love to be smacked in the face by Will Smith

that's also part of why I think Chris Rock was probably like yeah I mean man if Will Smith wants to fucking hit me with a sledgehammer

he can come do it someone tweeted Chris Rock's Wilbur tickets for this week went from $80 to $500 wow yeah because you're going to get

the raw reaction Chris Rock's doing the Wilbur yeah you know who else did? We warmed it up for you, Chris. We warmed it up for you, pal. Hey, Chris. I was going to say, see how far you can throw your Ferragamo shoes, Chris.

Dude, that is, but that is, I mean, I probably wouldn't do that. But no, I don't know. If somebody told me right now, like, you know, you want these tickets? Nah, I wouldn't know. If somebody told me right now, like, you know, you want these tickets? Nah, I wouldn't do it. But if you're a comedy fan, you're a Chris Rock fan, even if you're like a fucking reporter, you know, like, we probably should do that and be in and get the fucking inside scoop on what he's saying. There's a lot of value in being at his first show.

Yeah. That's crazy. So, yeah, he's probably like... When is it? I think it's this weekend. Although I guess he doesn't get that money. That's all secondary shit. But whatever else he's putting on stage.

If I'm Chris Rock of the Wilbur, I'd be like, I'm adding 11 shows. Are you going to be up there? Might be. Pop in. I don't know. I got some interest. We could probably find... I'm sure we can get somebody to hook it up.

But I feel like that is the must watch, must listen, must see act. Speaking of comedy and comedians, I think we all follow a lot of comedians now because that's mostly what we do. Let's relax, guys. What are we doing now? Comedians have to be able to say whatever they want and not get... Everyone, let's relax, guys.

I haven't seen much, but I could see people being like, are we going to slap everybody in the face who makes a joke about our loved ones sort of thing? And also just the fear of that could happen to anybody. It's not going to happen to you. It's never happened before, and it probably will never happen again. If Will Smith can do that at the Oscars, what can happen to me at the Chuckle Hut?

Sean, go do your fucking jokes. Ten minutes and shut the Oscars. What can happen to me at the Chuckle Hut? Shut up. Go do your fucking jokes. Ten minutes and shut the fuck up. Yeah, I mean, as always, the reaction is the overreaction and then the overreaction to the overreaction. It's like, it's an all-timer for sure, though. And I feel like it's just perfect

when nobody's dead and nobody's hurt and we can just talk about it and make fun of it forever. Alright, enough about Chris Rock and Will smith we can talk about that for and we'll talk about that for years to come um but wait hang on one second i just got a funny text we can actually leave this in the show um keegan right now is doing his kindergarten test where you like meet and sit down with the teacher to make sure like i don't know that you're not too dumb yeah kindergarten and uh they're doing shapes he she drew a triangle and she said what is that he said a pyramid and then and then before she could

correct him he goes no i'm being silly that's a triangle not a pyramid and then she said to him, so what makes you laugh? And he said, when daddy falls down. Which I'm pretty sure is more of a, like when I'm goofing around and shit. But also there's probably times when I'm just like a spaz and falling down and he's just laughing at his fucking klutz of an old man. So shout out to all the parents out there going through that uh so we'll get into our top fives uh in honor of will smith and and chris rock we're gonna do top five slaps or hits uh of all time uh before that though it's story time from uh fresh face johnny over here stories it's just you went you went down to you know a wedding in in. Oh, boy. When was the last time you were there? Jazz Fest 2019.

And I was supposed to go to Jazz Fest 2020, and then COVID happened. Jazz Fest 2019. How many times have you been since the incident? I don't even have to count. Countless times? You're always down there? New Orleans, aside from New York, Boston, like, obviously, the cities I live in here, it's the city I've been to the most by a long shot.

Interesting. That's a dangerous one, I feel like. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Well, I mean, we saw you hop on the scale. Bro, what? I forgot about that.

What the fuck was that all about? 240. I mean, like, that's, like, it was, like, Hank tried to call me out that I was, like, making it up. I wasn't making it up. Like, that clearly has to be fake. Like I'm not 240. That's, that cannot be what I weigh.

I just don't look like I weigh 240 pounds. I would guess I'm 225, 230 maybe. I mean, are we just going to blame scales now? I mean, there's a scale in the office. It's in one of the bathrooms. I'll jump on a scale. There's no way I weigh 240. It was nice because I had tweeted the night before about eating.

It was so funny too because it was like on the nose. It was almost like that scale stops at 240. It was like bam. That was special. 240. I said it. You're obviously much more in shape and, like, exercise more than I do. But over the years, I've put on 20 pounds.

And you would have put on... If you put on the same 20 I put on, you would go from 240 to 240. I've, like, always been, like, 215 to 225. If I just jumped up to 240... But, like, that's what happens when you hit, like, you know, you're pushing mid-30s now. Your body changes. I guess I am, yeah know you're pushing mid-30s now it's like your body changes i guess i am yeah you're mid-30s yeah and like that that is one of the worst feelings is when you can't just bounce back anymore like there's certain but here's like i i that that scale just happened to be in the like i i don't we're blaming the scale again no no no no

no i'm just saying like i never step on skills because i don't really care like i just yeah all i get about is you haven't been on a scale in so long and you know in in that in all those years you've been drinking and eating and even if even though you have worked out even probably when you do work out you're putting on some muscle along with some fat like it's entirely possible that like you're not just like oh my whole life it's like but your whole life's different from when you're yeah 30s to mid-20s i i agree i agree like i no matter what i did i would i like never broke like 190 like ever and then all of a sudden it was like well it goes to like 195 and now the 200 but even if i am 240 i don't give a shit like it is i i am just stop i'm a look like you maybe give a shit i'm a look in the mirror guy and yeah and i like what i look like in the mirror yeah so like all right that's

fine dude clip that that's a fucking first i like what i look like in the mirror from i don't look i like what i like it better than 240 see i've always been the opposite i hop on and i'm like 180 and i look like a fucking skinny fat bag of bones i'm like i don't care that it says 180 i look disgusting yeah yeah right you know right the so like who like i mean like that that's the reason those the scale was just there i was like basically i was in the gym i was i was like i don't know like taking a break between a set i saw the scale i was like i'll step on that when it was a scale from like 1925 yeah um i i don't care about anything except like like, clothes fitting. Like, I hate when, you know, I used to be, like, I always fit a large and, like, certain times where I was skinny enough or certain brands that were, like, big enough, like a medium would fit.

Now it's, like, large and XL instead of large and medium. And all of my large clothes are, like, well, there's a titty popping out. There's a little thing that'll pop out. And now I have to, like, either deal with that or buy new clothes or just deal with it mentally yeah it's like I can't deal with this I don't want to deal with this

so I don't care what the number says either but I'm just on the other side of it if I lived down in New Orleans then maybe I would start caring about the number because it is it's fucking bad news. Bro, it's crazy. Honestly, it's the best city in the country.

And there's really, I mean, I know there's issues with violence. I think one of my friend's dad was telling me he's lived there his whole life. He's like, this is the most violent event I've ever seen, which I don't know if that's true or not, but it's what someone told me. But, like, it's so fun. The food is so... I think it is the only... It's like 240, bro. It's like the...

I think it's, like, one of the only places, like, in the country where, like, there's, like, genuine culture. Yeah. Like, the music, the food. Even New York. Like, you walk around New York, it's just any city, really. Somebody told me this, that it's not actually French. It's something else. Like, you know, everything is, like... any city really do you tell somebody told me this that it's not actually french it's uh it's

something else like uh you know everything is like well i think it's actually spanish what like a lot apparently a lot of like the culture that we know of in new orleans like actually came from when it was um occupied by the spanish and not the french i don't i don't think i told you that um but that is interesting. Whatever it is, it's dope. It's fucking... Dude, literally that first night I got there, I had three po'boys, which by the way, do you know the origin of po'boy?

This is one I actually have. I did know. It was... I just know. I talked to people about it this weekend as well. But that... Okay, we'll get to this. We'll get to po-boys in a second. All right, wait. Let's place bets.

I bet I'm sub 230. I mean, John is usually in tune with his body. He has been working out. Have you been lifting? Yeah, but I don't go to the gym. I just have those weights I use in my apartment. I do that in light boxers. Does anybody here know their weight for sure?

I'm 30 pounds in that. Yeah. Okay, so hop on there, and we can find out if the... With your shirt on? 189. Okay, so we'll test out. We'll get a baseline here to see if the scale is working. Also, these electronic scales fucking suck.

Probably not going to figure out how to work. Oh, wait, no, okay. Yeah, they got 190. Okay, so we know you're smirking here. Okay, let's go around the room first. I'm smirking because I'm nervous. Do you think – don't hop on yet. I know.

Nick, 240 or not 240? Not 240. I'm going to say over 230 just because I recently weighed myself, and I'm 10 pounds heavier. That's the thing. Like, everybody's just got heavier. Jackie, under 240 or 240? What do you think? 240. pounds heavier. That's the thing. Everybody's got heavier. I feel like I wouldn't say. Under 240 or 240? What do you think?

240. I don't know. Said that real quick. Wait, no, no, no. I don't know men's weight. I'm just thinking. I'll tell you this one. 240 is a fucking lot. Okay, two.

It could stand to reason that a guy who's like 215, 220, 225 when he's in his 20s is going to be a little bit more when he's in his 30s. He also got the beard, so we get a couple extras here. I'm going to say two. For the fun of it, 240, but I think it's going to be like $236,000. I'm going to go $232,500. Oh, okay. Moment of truth. Oh, boom.

I was going to say $215,000. That's lame. Now I'm disappointed how light it is. Okay, I'm a little upset. We're like the same weight now, John. That's lame. Now I'm disappointed how light it is. Okay, I'm a little upset. We're like the same weight now, John. That's a problem. That's always been... I just need to see if I need to go for a run.

The answer is yes, Nick. The answer is yes. I like this scale. It's better than mine. Not by much, though. It keeps moving. You got your shoes on, too. Yeah, I have my shoes on.

Yeah, you try to keep all the weight on. It's funny when you're weighing yourself one way or the other. Sometimes you want to keep all the weight on. Oh, yeah, got to do it at night. The moon pulls the gravity off or some shit. It's also on carpet. That matters? Yeah.

Well, we know that Pabst was accurate, though. Yeah. I mean, that's got to be the most wrongest scale of all time down there in New Orleans. You're off by 30 fucking pounds? I knew. That's why. That's fucked up to do to people in a gym. I would have never had a problem tweeting that, but when I tweeted that, I knew there

was no fucking chance I weighed 240. But anyway, what's the point? Oh, Po' Boys. Po' Boys. Dude, so. What is a po' boy? It's a sandwich. I know,

but I don't think I've ever had one. Crawfish or whatever? No, no, it can be anything, really. It is, I think,

first of all, it's on French bread is really the big thing, I think, of it. And then, yeah, I think it's typically shrimp

or maybe a fried fish or something like that, but you can, I mean, I've had buffalo chicken po' boys before. Whatever. But you can, I mean, I've had Buffalo Chicken Po' Boys before. But it started, its origins is that there was a restaurant back in the day that was founded by a man who used to work in the streetcar industry. And then when there was a strike in the streetcar industry,

that restaurant gave out sandwiches to all these striking employees and shows of support. But they would just kind of cut open a French bread, throw some fucking fish in there, throw some shrimp in there, and here you go.

But whenever he saw a striking employee coming, he would joke, oh man, you're coming to the po'boy. And then they got known as the po po boys but it was the french bread it's like i was like this is cool this is a cool little story i'm like i'm a sucker for like a little something like that yeah yeah yeah um and then uh but anyway i don't know why we're talking about any of this uh the the it was it was a blast it was fucking awesome it was great the wedding was at 5 p.m which is a dangerous time in New Orleans.

Why's that? Because you could go there all day. Oh, yeah. To behave yourself until 5 o'clock. Yeah, right. You should have your wedding at like 9am in New Orleans. See, we were at a bar at like, we were getting ready, as in the

groom's party. Which is technically the bridal party but it sounds weird to say yeah i know so it should be like a bridal party and the groomsman or something that should be the like when they were saying i heard like the bridal party's gonna go here i was like is that should be called like the wedding party right right marriage party um but the um we're drinking we're well the night, I'll start with the night before. Okay. So the night before, we're out on bourbon.

And I got there Thursday night. So Thursday night, I actually kept it – I was in control pretty good. It was a scary time to do that. New Orleans is up there with Vegas where it's like you don't really need an extended stay. Yeah. So Thursday night, I got – I had had beers but I kept it relatively in control. Friday woke up, exercised and then was like, time to pop the governor

off. Let's go. And so Friday got ripped. Friday got ripped, ripped. And we were we were at I forget where, oh we were at Razoo on Bourbon Street. This is like, we had a rehearsal dinner and then we were at Razoo on Bourbon Street. This is like we had a rehearsal dinner, and then we were at the –

Is the bride and the groom a part of this or no? They were – no, bride and groom kept it in control Friday night. And then so they were – but then like everyone. There's like – I think it was like a 350-person wedding. Like everyone was at the bar. And I had met this – met a little lady. And I mean like she was just a person at the bar and i had met this met a little lady and i mean like she was just a person at the party we were just talking stuff like that and uh we talked we just talked to a bunch of people and you know everyone's kind of mingling and she was she was kind of going drink

for drink with me which isn't dangerous game to play it's a dangerous game to play there's not many you know not many it's like going to drink for drink with burke christian you ain't gonna win this battle and and then like i don't know that i just kind of i was meeting a lot of people stop talking to her did you kill her and there was a pause there well first of all i'd be like i say i that was i i'm taking literally zero responsibility for this like she she went drink a drink with me for like four drinks. And then we were at a fucking welcome party with hundreds of people. We were talking all over the place.

I don't know what she did, when she did it, where she did it. But later in the night, this is probably now like 1 a.m., 2 a.m., I was talking to someone and I saw her on like a couch at the bar. Out cold. And I was like i was like oh shit and and then i was with one but most of the people had left they were like they were probably like at this point like five people left i thought i didn't know where she i thought she'd left in a turn there you go yeah yeah and i kind of just she kind of caught my eye and i was like oh shit so i grabbed my buddy i was like dude that's i honestly don't know her name i I was like, that's the girl, that girl's with us, and I was like, we gotta go, like, help her or something,

she's just out cold on a couch in fucking Bourbon Street, so I go over to the couch, and this table of girls step up in between me, and they're like, we saw you just notice her, and I was like, 99 times out of 100, you're doing the right thing right here. This one's different. Listen, I'm the guy who was drinking with her who put her like that. It's fine. I was like, honestly, you're right, but you're wrong. Right now, you're wrong. And they're like, you're not getting her.

And I was like, all right. Then you better protect her all night long. Yeah, then I was like, fine. Then go try and wake her up or something. Wasn't waking up. Jesus Christ. then I was like, fine, then go wake, wake, try and wake her up or something. Wasn't waking up. Jesus Christ. So I was like arguing with like the bar now.

I'm like, yo, this girl isn't waking up. Like call an ambulance or something like, like, or wake her up. Like someone do something.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. And, and, and then I called someone else at the wedding who then they came down

and they were like helping trying to take care of her and she was still out and like, we're doing like fingers under the nose, like making, trying to take care of her. And she was still out. And like, we're doing like fingers under the nose, like making sure it's a live kind of deal. Yeah. And then,

uh, an ambulance had to come and the ambulance, the ambulance took her away. And then, and I like, I didn't really think anything of it. And then we went out to Harrah's until 6. I am like,

I knew she was in good hands at this point. I didn't know. Um, and we were at Harris till 6. I am drinking all this stuff. And we were at Harris until 6 a.m. Drinking all this stuff. And then at the wedding, a woman grabs me. And she's like, I just want to say thank you.

And I was like, oh, for what? And she's like, for saving my daughter. And I didn't see the girl. And then the girl behind, she's behind her and just goes. What a baller. I was like, that's a legend move. That was not her first time being rescued or taken away in an ambulance. I was like, oh, glad to see you do it. That is great, dude.

That's fucking hilarious. I'm pretty sure I killed a couple. On my honeymoon, when I got married, we went to, we were in Santorini and we went out to the club and we went to a club that was like, either we went way too early or we went to like the not popular club because there was like nobody in there. And there was this couple from Rhode Island and they were there as well. And we had seen them, we had seen them throughout the week. Like when you're on a honeymoon, you're on an extended trip like that,

you see people also doing the same trip as you. You see them at breakfast. You see them here, there. There was a couple we saw at the same hotel as us many times. And then we saw them at the club. And they were from Rhode Island. For some reason, when you say couple, I picture old people. No, no, they were young.

I think they were on their honeymoon too. They just got married as well. People in love can't possibly be and i we you know at that point me and and uh my bride at that point we're in our drinking prime like we were we could put on a show as far as couples could. I would have put us up against any other couple. If there was a couple drinking contest, we could go toe-to-toe with anybody.

They were doing every shot we were doing. They were going drink for drink with us. They both just hit the switch flip. They went blackout, fell off a cliff. Maybe literally. Because we never saw them again and like like the girl got like so drunk she's like she picked a fight and the boy

the guy all of a sudden was kind of like at first he was like oh fuck she's too drunk and then like a second later he turned he had the demon eyes and i was like oh they're both gone they are both gone and and i mean we didn't know like where they were staying what room they were i think they were maybe in our hotel but maybe not and uh i think we ended up just kind of ditching them because they were like drunk and annoying and crazy and then just gone and hopefully chances are they just hit a flight the next day or the day after that and flew home there's also a chance they're dead there's also a chance there's just a dead american couple in santerini in 2014 and like and we were responsible for it but I remember being like I just remember her being like I think we killed that couple yeah I think we did too they're

fucking gone the uh the other uh that'd be so awesome if you just admitted to a murder he's so sick for the podcast like someone looks it up and like there actually was a I'm trying to remember like investigation I feel like they did know Barstool a little bit because it was Rhode Island and it was you know so those are my people I'm on their side we can track that down

you did some you can get slapped yeah but the other thing that happened was the the priest was very

he's very he's a very nice guy and honestly I respect the hell out of this we're like he and he was a fun guy.

He was a cool guy, but also took his job very seriously. Even the rehearsal at the church took an hour and a half. Like, yeah. Just walk through it? We didn't walk. We did it. Oh, you just did the whole run through? People did the readings.

Oh, my God. That's insane. They usually go, all right, then you do the readings. Then you do this. People did their readings. He was fucking being like hey nope you're gonna read better than that for me like like he was like he was stopping people in the middle of the reading no no no no he's like voice up project to the back of the room and like like giving lessons he didn't he didn't give his homily or anything like that but like did basically

everything possible. Everything you would do. He did their vows. He did. He said we'd all be too emotional the next day. So he wanted us to hear it now. And I was like, I don't think I'm going to be too emotional, father. That's calling your shot a little bit too much.

But then also he's a cool guy. He had a beer at the rehearsal dinner. And he and I high-fived and hugged watching the St. Peter's game. That was the St. Peter's Sweet 16 game. So he's a cool dude, but he's also like – By the book. Yeah. Before the rehearsal started, he's like, I want everyone to know this is a beautiful weekend, and it's all important, but this is primarily a holy thing,

and we will be holy people during this. Like really serious with this stuff. Speaking of holes. Yeah. And, but the, so the day comes, finally the wedding comes, and I've had a couple beers. It wasn't like, I was, I kept in control because I knew it was a serious wedding. But I probably had, like, four or five beers before we got to the ceremony at five. And he drops on me

that basically throw the rehearsal in the trash. We're flipping everything. We're flipping everything. You're in the lead now. And I just went to a priest in the rectory while I just went,

oh, fucking god damn it. Fucking Jesus fucking Christ. three well i just went oh fucking god damn it fucking jesus fucking christ it was like it was like an immediate reaction oh fucking god damn and i like i looked up and he was smiling yeah i was like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i wish i blame fucking always sunny for that yeah god damn i've been put into my god damn it god god damn it yeah like i never used to say god damn i'm never used to like 20 years ago i didn't say god damn that much that's a go-to and then not i say god damn it all the time now speaking of sunny did you see rob's post about uh caitlin at the at the sixers game no they went to a sixers lakers game together and they were sitting oh yes yes and she had her hands up he's like if she flapped those wings she would hit the

ceiling that's great bird so what did you have to do as the leader? No, it was just I walked out first. Yeah, yeah. It was just like, I will. Oh, fucking God damn it. Oh, fucking God damn it. Jesus fucking Christ. God damn it.

Christ on the fucking cross. But he was like, it was like. I'll give you one. As I've explained him so far, it's probably the reaction that you're thinking. He was like. Yeah. Like, okay. The next one I'm slapping you in the fucking mouth okay all right let's get into our top fives cuts clothing now if you are you know 2 2 11 like john and you haven't working out and you do have some muscle cuts clothing is going to look primo on you uh and even if you're not in shape cuts clothing kind of somehow makes you look like you have bigger arms

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15% off. Top five slaps. Top five, you know, hits. It Top five slaps. Top five hits. It could be a movie. I think the only thing is we can't really do... We're not doing fights, right? Like boxing and shit like that? Or do you want to include that?

No, I probably wouldn't have it on my list. But yeah, whatever you want to do. I'm going to go... You go first. So I'm not sure... It's anything. just top five hits. I think, you know, I would try to stick to like slaps in the face, hits in the face. You know what I mean?

But like within real life or the movies or something like that. Okay, this is going to be a hard one for me. You think so? Yeah. Do you want to do something else? No, we can get it. I'll probably do some dumb inside joke that only I can get. I mean, I only have a couple in my head too, so we're going to have to do some rich.

I am going to go with, prior to this slap, I think there's one that beats this one. I would say the real world slap. The slap, the first, it was real world Seattle with crazy ass Irene and that black guy David, kind of looked like Dave Ch chappelle and she's leaving because she's crazy and he runs up to her he's like irene wait wait and you almost think that he's like gonna say something like like uh smooth it out or whatever opens the door to the cabin pops her in the face i think he throws her like a stuffed animal too because you know what she said to him she said at the end she was like i, like, I hope things work out for you, David, because you're gay.

You know that, right? And she calls him out like that. And he was not having it. He runs after her, being like, I'm going to fucking get my money's worth on this bitch. Just an unbelievably petty move from two people who are absolutely bonkers crazy. But Irene, I think, actually went off the railing, went to a fucking institution, or whatever it's called, a fucking, I don't know the word.

A mental institution? Yeah, institution. And was like, actually went crazy from being on The Real World. But that was like, I remember that being on The Real World, like, whoa. I think he had to get kicked off

and all this other crazy shit. But to chase somebody down, that's like some Costanza at the jerk store. I should have fucking hit her. You know what? I'm gonna. It's not too late. I can chase this car down. Pow. Pat Benatar, we belong. Just because it slaps? As long as it

hits, bro. I can see where this is going to go. I can see where the next four draft picks are gonna be we belong to the night we belong to the i oddly enough on my home computer for some reason i must have just been like fucking around with the mouse and i must have dragged it. I have one bookmarked website on my at-home computer on Chromebook, and it's the YouTube for Pat Benatar

We Belong To You. It's a great fucking song. Bro, I remember we were coming home from Talladega Nights, and that's all we could talk about. We were all like, what was that song? We didn't have fucking Shazam at the time. We were like, dude, we need to get home and we need to figure out what that song was that's playing while they run on the track.

That is the perfect. There's a few 80s ballads and some classic songs that I'm like, if you remade them right now with a little hip-hop beat or a dance beat or whatever, there's certain melodies and certain choruses and shit that I don't care if you're young, old, white, black, guy, girl, whatever. They just play. And We Belong Together is that shit. That beginning, that

unbelievable. Since I basically have my pick of the litter now for slaps because I know you just pick songs. I'm going to mix it up. I got a couple. I will go with the NBC show or whatever the the slap oh yeah that was introduced to me by the lights camera guys i uh it's on peacock i've been watching bel-air on peacock and like they have it still like you can watch it if you

want which is funny because i just thought it was like this like scarlet letter that they like tried to hide away so you can fucking watch that season if you want to, and maybe I will, but, I mean, I just fail to understand how a whole season of television can spiral out of this one slap. I mean, I guess, you know, good old, you know, child abuse can lead down to a bunch of different ways of content, but, I mean, I guess we just talked about Will Smith and Chris Rock for an hour, so if you really put your mind to it,

you know, some kid gets slapped at a barbecue, and the next thing you know, you have a season of television. I don't know how it happens, but once White's camera started doing the Rickrolling with the slap, I quickly found out what it was. And I was thinking to myself, have they done any Chris Rock, Will Smith, Rickrolling with the slap? Because it's just like you're replacing slaps with slaps. All right, you're up. All right.

My number two is going to be this one. It might not be quite in the bounds. It just came to mind. Scott Stevens, Paul Correa. Hockey fight? No, it's a hit. It's a hit. Oh, okay.

You mean he knocks Paul Correa out cold? But it's a body. Clean hit? I don't know yeah fuck it I mean clean hit by that day standards not anymore though

not anymore you know dude watch I remember I was at my grandfather's house and we were like huddled around the TV

watching Paul Correa come back to life it's like I honestly I would guess Kit Harington was inspired by this for Jon Snow

oh when he goes like, yeah. Oh, we can't watch anything today. So he's laying there dead. Dead. Bro, how do we not have it? Yeah, see right there. There's another angle where you see him like, you see how fogged up his mask is. Yeah, he starts breathing again.

Yeah. It is, I mean, he gets she-moked. Again, I don't know if this hit really. Yeah, hit, slap, punch, whatever. He's so fogged up. That's just breathing to stay alive right there dude i mean head on a swivel though he was skating one way and looking the other that's what happens to you right it's fucking bad fucking bad i will go with um the general the

like the pimp slap yeah like the powder on the hand fucking slap your prostitute what is the powder about i don't know i'm not sure why that's a thing or uh just like my pimp hand is strong you put the powder on it let's find out pimp slap powder this is something that we just know nothing about i'm sure um yeah i mean in how high um how high did it well with Method Man and Red Man? Yeah, I don't know. I guess, oh, because you leave a mark on their face, I guess. So it's like, pow, and it leaves the five fingers right there. That may make sense.

But I think when you're slapping someone, you should be slapping them with the red anyway, right? Yeah, you don't need the powder. Yeah. Okay. Okay, I will go uh fuck i can't even think of uh who sings it now uh it's fucking i know who is when i when i see it i'm gonna be singing sing it it's walking on broken any lennox any lennox slaps slaps that's why when sammy adams made driving me crazy you know i was, I've heard this song before.

Dude, that was an album my sister had that she just played all the time when I was growing up. And I didn't like it then because I was an idiot. But now it is fucking heat. Yeah, you were like, this is good. No, no, no. It was not that. Dude, I told you this story.

I fucking got in a fist fight on the school bus because kids wouldn't admit that Bye Bye Bye was a banger bang yeah that's just like we don't like your boy band like yeah cuz son fucking is a eater ahead of your time a lot of guys who can't fucking you know I'll go Chappelle show Rick James what did the five fingers say to the face just thought of it when I said five fingers with the pimp slap but what would he say that to he said rick james says it's charlie murphy yeah yeah um that is such a good one it is the greatest it's probably it's probably the greatest skit on his show like it's not my favorite but like when you just think of like he told the story

and how they recreated it and rick j was actually involved in it. That's a great slap. That's a great slap back. Well, that was my fourth. This is your fourth? Yes, this is my fourth. And I will go with the Reggie Bush. Reggie Bush was on the Saints. He got smoked by someone on the Eagles. Oh, yeah.

I think it was Darren Dawkins. Yeah, Brian Dawkins. Brian Dawkins, yeah. I did a little, I combined Darren Dalton with Brian Dawkins for a little Philly mashup there. Yeah, that was like the original Jacked Up, I think. Yeah, this is back when. He gets jacked up.

Back when Jacked Up fucking meant something. And by something, we mean internal brain damage. Yeah, back when we were, you could click skip at it. Jack, he just has it. Yeah, this is an all-timer because he's just like right up the middle, right? He just gets... No, it's a fucking swing pass.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he just... I think he just kind of eats it. He's just like... The wind is knocking out of me. He takes it like a champ. You know, he's just walking off like, I am dying, I am dying.

I forgot he went back down. Never mind. I knew he got up quick, but. Yeah, probably should have just taken it. And the crawl is a bit much. The last one I had, I had one in my mind. Oh, I guess I'll just take Chris Rock and Will Smith. If you're going to take this, I think you've got to bump this up to one.

What, take that one first? Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I just got great value. You didn't take it. I mean, I knew you were going to pick songs, so I'll just take the reason why we inspired this. I took Tom Brady in the sixth round. Congratulations.

Tom Brady? I said you took Tom Brady in the sixth round. Congratulations. Oh, yeah, exactly. All right, my last one is going to be. Is he going to go song? Is he going to go NFL hit? Or hockey hit?

My last one. There's probably got to be an MMA slap, like a disrespectful, like, like McGregor probably slapped somebody in the face at a weigh-in or some shit like that. At the time I was at my friend's house for dinner, his dad slapped his mom. Woo! No, I was at my friend's house for dinner and his dad slapped his mom. Woo!

No, I'm kidding. That never happened. That never happened. There's got to be a good... Isn't there a video of Zach getting smacked so hard he gets knocked out? Zach? Our Zach?

Yeah. What? Yeah, put that on the list. I don't know if I have that. Also put Nate getting hit in the face with a pie on it. Yeah. That one out there? No, I actually never saw that one, so I can't put it there.

But if I had seen that. It's very similar to the real world one. Really? Because he's like getting in a car. As he's like getting in the back seat. Very similar. Zach getting knocked out? Let's see it.

Oh, hell yeah. He's knocked out oh that one that one that one guys that nobody brings up the minute I said we're doing top six I had the whole time. Are you fucking kidding me? John, your list sucked until now, and now you win the whole thing. His head goes bobblehead. The hat and everything. Look at that.

He says dead on top. Bro, he fucking reversed scorpions. Honestly, can I tell you something? Can I tell you something right now? He looks like that bridge in Sydney Australia what a reference we we we listen listen on the show earlier

we we talked about Judd Apatow's tweet about how he almost killed him and then we're gonna sit down with Judd Apatow where we mention how we think that that tweet was a little bit over exaggerated we're pussies about it but it's okay that that man that a little bit over exaggerated. We're pussy's about it, but it's okay. That man, there is proof right there that someone could die from a slap. Because I think that Zach probably became the fucking depressed little bitch boy that he is in that moment right there.

I think this man slapped the happiness out of him. I mean, his head. It was like when fucking. He was burning. He was in a deal with burning as he went down. It looks like in fucking... What's it called? Doctor Strange. When that chick just hits Doctor Strange. That's the joy sliding out of Zack's body in this slab.

Dude. We need that old meme where you would... Oh my god. It's so good! Wait, can we hear it? Can we hear the slap? Is there volume? There's got to be good volume to it. Probably even better. This is some dumb college shit, I love it.

Oh! That sounds like a watermelon. That was cool. That was fucking cool. That sounds like a watermelon just smashing on a pavement. Again, again. Oh! One more, one more. Two, close your eyes.

Close your eyes. Bam! That is... That's one of the greatest things I've ever seen. One more time. Oh! Oh! I say we close out every episode

from here on out with this wow that was fucking great his neck everything must have hurt him look at that the way he comes back up is even better the hat is great it's so amazing

I'm gonna watch this forever God damn. That's good stuff. That is absolutely amazing. Fucking spectacular. All right. Voicemail time. And then we'll get into the interview with Judd Apatow. Voicemails today are brought to you by 3Chi.

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So it's 5% off all products at 3chi.com. That's the number 3chi.com. Plus a free Cannafan flag sticker with promo code STOOL5. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please do responsibly. Voicemails. What do we got? Hello, KC Fights, Jackie and the crew. I was watching last week's episode when Jackie was really trying to hold back the tears.

And it reminded me of a time in high school when I was on the student council. So I was in charge of playing music over the loudspeaker for some of our bigger events. And I was in the gym where I couldn't hear the music. And my advisor for a student council comes storming into the gym and is like, where the fuck is Aaron Hart? I literally, literally like my heart dropped as soon as he came in like yelling my name and he walks up to me and he's like gold digger is blasting over the loudspeaker right now for the entire school and i was like literally about to like break down crying as i had to run outside in front of the entire like

student body and people are like busting down and i had to like fud front of the entire student body, and people are busting down. And I had to fuddle around and try to change the music as fast as I can. But I really didn't want to be a pussy and start crying. So my question to you guys is, when was the time you were in a situation that you really probably could have started crying, but you didn't want to be a huge pussy? So you really tried to choke back the tears. By the way, this is an awesome thing. I would have rolled in there and started busting down with everybody else, too. What a casual busting down.

Yeah, that is for sure a new generation thing. When I hear that, I'm like, oh, wow. That's how I know maybe the world is passing by. I would have said dancing. Yes. Everyone's in there dancing. I can tell you,

if it wasn't for this, bussing down would never have come out of my mouth ever again. Ever again. Now I'm going to be saying it all the time. Hanging out with my kindergarten kids, like, you're going to buss it down? I don't...

When was the time I was going to cry? I got a few for you. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like usually when I'm going to cry, I fucking cry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I keep it together very often.

It really is a point of no return. I can, if I'm about to cry, I can usually stop myself and say to myself, whatever this is, even if it's serious, like nobody's dead. People have it worse than you. Crying is only going to make it worse. And your nose and your eyes are going to be uncomfortable. So don't do it. You know?

And I can usually be like, okay. But if I can't and I, and I try to run through that mental list and stop myself. If you actually have like a mental list like that, we really kind of talk to you. Like, do you do that? I don't know if it's like a list, but if, but I'll say to'll say to you know i just think through like here are the reasons why it's not so bad so it's not like one list all the time but it's like you know each each time i will try to convince myself of otherwise but if i don't do that and it goes past that point i'm just like let's get it out let's just get it out like get it over with let me cry as hard as i fucking can

so that i usually i if i cry i'll cry so much that I almost start laughing at myself this is ridiculous I've got snot I've got tears I'm especially there's a difference between tearing up and crying and kind of sniffling versus you know you get the yeah breathing going you're like you're like sobbing then I start to make myself laugh then I'm like okay you're officially ridiculous you're done i fucking man i don't know i'm i'm i'm weird and like i don't really like i don't i don't think i've ever cried in a situation like that or i don't think i ever would cry in a situation like jackie was in yeah she was a big fucking pussy like a big pussy like i've i don't think like work trouble does not make me cry no it, it never should. It's like I'm so happy that you're dedicated and you take it seriously,

but who fucking cares about someone's work? Oh, you ruined my work. It's good. Who cares about work? Yeah, I can't imagine that there's – even when I thought I was going to be fired from Barstool, I didn't cry. Whatever. This is going to happen now.

I was going to quit. I was like, go home. Fuck it. He was going to do the preemptive breakup. Yeah. Can't fire me. I quit. barcelona i didn't cry whatever this is gonna happen now i i i was gonna quit that way i was like i was gonna go home fuck it um yeah he was gonna do the preemptive breakup yeah yeah can't fire me i quit yeah um so i really don't know i'm trying to think back to high school like but the i don't know i just wasn't a lame i guess um I get in my tears are either last gas trying to get myself out of trouble yeah

because if a guy cries unless you're dealing with a real fucking sociopath like Jada Pinkett a guy crying is going to make a girl be like oh I'm not even talking about that me too I wasn't talking about Oh, I'm not even talking about girls. Oh, yeah, me too. I wasn't talking about that either.

I actually never even considered trouble with girls. Yeah, me too. It was my mom. I met my mom, yeah. The first time I came down to college, I cried my fucking eyes out. I'm sorry. By the fourth time, I was like, guys, what are we doing? Why are you, at this point, it's on you.

Why are you still writing checks? Fool me once. Fool me four times. The second time I got kicked out, my mom was like, is this the same? Tell me this is the old letter. I was like, no, I'm going to go be a background actor. Bro, I can't believe you got kicked out of college. You're like the hardest worker ever.

Yeah, I just didn't apply that to school. I didn't want to do any of that shit. Apparently, it i get it but it's wild um so yeah i guess that was it's either that or like it's either that or i cry about something that clearly isn't the thing i want to be crying yes yeah i use i use something as a vehicle yeah to cry because it's like the last straw I'm not really upset about this it's everything else that came before that's probably why I cried

I literally cried is that why you keep watching that 9-11 movie? I haven't cried during that that's concerning but the dude I was crying I was just crying the other day when was the last time you cried?

Pats, when was the last time you cried? That wasn't involving a death. I got a pretty good story. Yeah, let's go. Senior year of high school, right after graduation, me and my friends went to Mexico, and we all got arrested. The autumn's over. I ran away.

Me and my friend ran away, and they were fucked. And so then I'm like in front of them. What did you get arrested for? Peeing on the side of the road. On the side of the road? Over towards the woods. We walked towards the woods. These guys came out with a flashlight.

Fucking get the gringos with their dicks out. Where we're back, they're gone forever. Our flight's in seven hours. They take a couple of you away. They take two of us away. The other two, the two fastest got away. So me and my other friend, we got away. And so I'm like, I'm crying in front of my prom date, everything like that.

Just crying in front of my mom, too. Just like, these kids are never coming back. Like, they're in a Mexican jail. We lost our friends forever. And then they come running back like 30 minutes later, and they're punching us in the face, all this stuff. Punching you in the face? Just like, all excited. And then one kid starts crying.

This is actually pretty fucked up. He's like, dude, they were gonna make me suck the guy's dick to get away. I was thinking that's where this is going. So then like 20 minutes of like, you're sucking this guy's dick, you're sucking this guy's dick. This guy just pulls out like a $15,000, I don't know how much it was, like Rolex, and gives it to the guy. He's like, well you take

this instead of like making me suck your dick. No way. And then they all got away. But I was at full volunteers. Holy shit. Bro, what? Yeah. Wild.

Yeah. So everybody was crying, but then we got back. So we're all good. That's like that in the, we are the Millers when he's like, when he's talking to the kid about him sucking his dick. You see that scene?

Yeah. Yeah. He's like, who's going to suck my dick? Dude, that's crazy. He's getting compliments. He's like, you're going to suck my dick? Dude, that's crazy. Mexican cops are just like, you're going to suck my dick.

I wonder if that's... I'd be like, take me to jail. No, you know what? I bet that's a racket. I bet they're like, we're going to tell them that you have to suck dick, and then they give us their jewelry and their wallets. Yeah, yeah. See, I'm such a bad negotiator, I wouldn't think to.

I'll just suck your dick. I wouldn't be like, here's $300. I'd be like, all right, fuck it. Take it out. Let's get this over with. Oh, man. That is crazy. So you're crying and they come back.

We almost sucked some guy's dick. I'm crying. I think I just lost my teeth. You should have been faster. What is that? Like the, I don't have to outrun the bear. I just got to outrun you. All right.

Next up. Ladies. Hey, guys. What's up? So about this time last year, I started listening to the podcast, and it kind of reintroduced me to Pursuit of Happiness, which was the outro at the time. And I'm a professional athlete in track and field. And that made it onto my warm-up list and all that.

And took me all the way through the Olympics. So, one, I'm starting up my season again. So, what would be top three songs on your playlist? Trying to get some more if I can. And two, now that you guys are starting your professional tour are you guys uh picking up any like pre-show routine superstitions at all so yeah um you guys made the whole journey with me all the way through Tokyo was was uh listening to you guys spent a lot of time inspiring the Olympians four months overseas and so listened to you guys spend a lot of time. We're inspiring the Olympians in the world. Four months overseas, and so listened to you guys a lot.

So thank you very much. And if you guys want to help out a struggling professional track athlete or, you know, I work for very, very low wages. I'm a content creator, video editor of all that sorts. Can make a mean hype video for this triathlon. Do it up, girl. Let me know. Make good content.

You never know where you could end up. I feel like I don't think we have any superstition yet, but. I was actually thinking that before the last show. Also, shout out to kind of fucking. I think it's kind of cool that Olympians listen to our show. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's

kind of fucking awesome. Soundtrack to my life was the song we played, right? Not for Serious Happiness? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think you're right. But yeah.

But still, same shit. I don't have any superstitions or any routines or anything that we do. Free show? Yeah. I have to fight my dad real quick. That was awesome.

But no, I have nothing other than that. I do notice this. I do notice that on the day of a show, my body shuts down. Okay. No, it conserves energy. I know it's like, I'm less participating in conversations.

I'm kind of just more off on my own and then you unleash it's not something I do intentionally but I will always I'll be like hmm I've been pretty quiet today pretty low key yeah that's good and I guess again it's not a conscious decision it's just something that I have

eventually noticed do you have any other pump up songs for her? bro I don't pump up songs I don't get pumped up. I'm on my own. Let's go. How about getting jiggy with it? What a song. Yeah, I guess I could have a pump-up

song. It is just fucking My Daily Mix 1, which is just punk rock songs. The same punk rock songs that I... Yeah, like literally there just aren't other songs like it anymore. I mean, pretty much for any situation i will i will recommend call me maybe call me maybe it's a good one it's a bizarrely pump up song it's not you wouldn't think it but i think it gets you gets the people going um is he i either i either do i'm either doing fucking nothing or depressing music

or... I don't know. Anything by Fall Out Boy. How about that? Anything by Simple Plan. I've actually been on a big Simple Plan because they put out a new song recently. So I've been going back through their old catalog. Simple Plan's still alive? Fucking right. They're still alive. My Chemical Romance.

Maybe it is. That's it. I'm not. I don't have a lot of help with music. I know that. That's for sure. I'm not going to be very beneficial to anyone. You know what? I will put together something, and people can tweet this. Tweet us your top three pump-up songs, whether that's the gym or a big event

or just gets your energy flowing, whatever it is. Jimmy, your own sweetness. That was our hockey go-out to song when we were like mites. a big event or just like gets your energy flowing. Like whatever it is. Jimmy, you wrote Sweetness. That was, that was our like hockey go out to song. Like when we were like mites, that was, we were young, young. I mean, I'm not quite mites, but like it wasn't, I think what I'm trying to remember what, okay. So I think my high school, I'm trying to remember what are, I mean, you can do the generics, like lose yourself.

Nah, we didn't have that. Until I collapsed and stuff like that. There's a great cover of If It Makes You Happy by a guy. It's Michael Sarah Palin. What? It's a great, it's a punk rock cover of it. Dude, I'm watching Life and Beth. It's an Amy Schumer show.

I heard that's awesome. It's a good show. I don't really like Amy Schumer. Probably similar feelings towards, like most of our fans have towards her. It like you know you still jokes and you got me whatever but the show is good and michael cera's in it and he is he plays like this like kind of like autistic awkward dude and it is unbelievable how well he does it it is well yeah yeah i mean he's been method acting it for 25 years that's why i love him in this This Is The End where he's doing coke and getting his ass eaten. Alright, last voicemail.

What do we got? There's no question here. It's not gonna work. Yo, okay. So we saw this and then there was I'm that guy. I'm that guy. I'm that guy. You might not have seen it.

There was one on the Barstool Instagram as well. Middle of the tower. Same shit. I hate to be that guy but that block hits the ground. It's over. Really? If you drop a block on the ground it's Jenga.

I guess I never thought about that yeah so all those pokes and slaps and shit are cool but i'd be the guy being like you lose huh well because like i mean if i if you take a block out you drop it it's over i don't know that it's over a block hit the ground it's got to be over i don't think it is i i you what you're saying is reasonable and i and i follow the logic that one doesn't make sense I don't know that it's over. A block hit the ground. It's got to be over. I don't think it is. What you're saying is reasonable, and I follow the logic of it. That one doesn't make sense because doesn't he wipe out the one on the side? I remember McAfee's dad doing it, which took over the internet. What do you lose in Jenga i think you gotta hold on to it but like so during fucking the only moving jenga block allowed in the game is the one that is being moved or replaced yeah the loser is the player who causes the tower to fall tower but but so like if

one falls off it has to come from the tower? I think the tower stays in the tower. I think it's because like here's the deal. Okay, alright, well what do you do? What do you do if one falls off? I mean there's no way that happens except for this one way. What if I

if I am like putting it back on top and I just knock one off? Like if you just had it in your hand and you dropped it, I do not think anyone would say that's Jenga. I feel like it kind of is the same way you can't touch with two hands. But okay, say this. Say there's one on top and I take the – It was just the video playing.

If I just took my block and as I'm putting it on top, I knock the top block off and it falls and hits the ground. It has to be like – because what do you do with that block? Just put it back? You can't do that. Yeah, again, you're making sense. But like what we were doing during stool streams, Hank never tried to stop us.

The game ends when the tower falls completely or if any block from the tower other than the block a player moves on a turn. So I guess you can drop that as long as it's that one block. There were a million times we were attempting it during stool shrooms.

I was thinking more. One time I did the pull and it fell. But then I had it to put on top. I don't think I've ever done a hit. I've only done the pull. I think maybe just in my head I was thinking you had to... The game ends when the tower falls completely or any block from the tower. The loser

is the person who made the tower fall. I just... From now on, you could take it out and you could drop it. You could kick it. You could throw it around. I feel like I've seen a drop or something like that before, so that makes sense that it's allowed. I guess as long as you don't pick out and you could drop it. You could kick it. You could throw it around. I feel like I've seen like a drop or something like that before. So that makes sense that it's allowed. I guess as long as you don't pick it up with the second hand.

All right. Well, shout out to the Jenga Kings then. I take back what I said. I'm more impressed, though, by the people who can take it and wiggle and fucking move it and get it done that way. That's the real impressive people. It's not the flashy ones. That's going the opposite way when the shift is on instead of hitting the home run.

All right, interview time with the incomparable Judd Apatow. This is a moment where we interviewed Judd Apatow way too cavalierly. We landed Judd Apatow, Kelly booked him. We were like, okay, cool. We just did an interview. It's Judd fucking Apatow. Top five in the history of movies. Like the movie, the Hollywood game, Judd Apatow.

Did you see when you say something to an interviewer, you're like, I feel like if you get the Judd Apatow seal of approval, it's pretty big. And I went, oh, you think so, Kev? And did you see his laugh? He was like, yeah. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. It's a pretty big fucking deal that's gotta be could you imagine knowing that you have the Midas touch like if yeah if I bless you your career is made if I turn you down like all of Hollywood does too I don't even think I want that power right because then you have to like be right every time almost you know what I mean you can't even have a flop so he's got a new movie uh the bubble he's got a new book sicker in the head and it's it's it's an interesting interview because obviously we have these crazy comics and internet personalities and we're morons people yelling and screaming and getting excited and john avatow is as calm and as cool as a cucumber but is just has a treasure trove of stories and information and knowledge and shit. It is just like talking to that dude.

We only have a half hour with him, but I would love to be able to like, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? Tell me about everything in your mind because clearly you're like one of a kind to be like on that level. His resume is disgusting. As you listen to this interview, open up his IMDB and look at the names and the movies.

It's disgusting. And also, we addressed his pretty viral tweet. Yeah, so we talked about the slap. Kind of pussies about it. Yeah, no, definitely pussies about it. But also, it's just like, what are we going to... Judd Apatow sits down. He clearly didn't want to talk about it.

We bring up Chris Rock and Will Smith. And you can tell he's like, yeah. And he doesn't want to talk about it. And we speak about Chris Rock and Will Smith, and you can tell he's like, yeah, and he doesn't want to talk about it. And we speak about Chris Rock and Will Smith in general. He kind of gives a, anyways. Yeah. And that's like, okay, time to move on. He was sitting like this.

Yeah, he was far away from the microphone. He was sitting like this. Like, clearly, he was giving as strong as body language can be given. Like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do this. And then luckily, we did end up having a conversation about social media so i could be like so that tweet was pretty that was something because that tweet is absurd but at the end of the day we pussy out because we're not lunatics who want to cause controversy and confrontation i'm not gonna i'm not gonna slap you in the face

i'm gonna just i'm gonna you know make you comfortable for the interview and uh as long as as long as you're cool and awesome i will not fuck with you if you're an asshole that's a different story but judd apatow far from that so interviews brought to you by sling tv where you can get all your entertainment you can watch all your movies and stream tv shows you can get your barstool content and uh live sports so everything you need all in one spot on sling tv and the only place you can get the 24 seven Barstool sports channel, where you can watch this podcast or the video format of all your favorite podcasts, or you can watch the Brandon Walker original shows,

or you can watch Kelly Keegs is Sunday night show on the others. The other line, a million different things, all airing 24 seven from the pirate ship here at Barstool HQ, along with all the other entertainment you need. Go to sling.com slash Barstool to sign up and try it for free. That's absolutely free. When you go to sling.com slash Barstool and it's affordable after that free

trial ends. So go do it now. It's Judd Apatow on KFC radio. Let's talk to him. All right, let's do it. Judd Apatow is live in the flesh here for KFC radio. Anything happened last night in Hollywood?

I wasn't there. I was here resting up for you guys. Appreciate that. Man, I mean, that is, we were just kind of talking about it before you came in. For us, it's like, you know, for fans, it's just the craziest, that level of two guys and that stature and that moment

I think is probably the craziest thing that's kind of happened. I mean, isn't it like some symbolic of the world right now? Just everyone has just kind of gone off the rail. That's what we were saying with, with will, where if you look at what happened in that span of four out of three, four hours,

whatever it was, if you hadn't anyone else, you'd be like, that person is, is like, it would be like, I was laughing. I was violent. I cried. I danced. You'd be like, that person is, is like, it would be like, I was laughing. I was violent.

I cried. I danced. He'd be like, that's a, that's a rollercoaster of a night. It's been a rough couple of years. I feel like the, uh, it's almost like scripted to then win the award. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah. Sometimes it's like the, the moon lines with the sun yeah and then it all just

kind of happens right right right yeah exactly a way that makes the perfect story well that's what we're saying because it's almost like like that's probably i feel like that would be one of the things that kind of contributed to it was just like his like he's like this is my big night and then now you're making me look like an idiot and now i'm gonna go because it was yeah he was you know he's probably gonna win i think people are so torqued up for so many reasons. Yeah. And we don't even know what they are. Right.

Like what has people just like kind of, you know. Well, last night it was alopecia. Alopecia was enough to like send people off the rails, you know. Or who knows. Oh, yeah. You mean with him. Yeah. Yeah.

Or anybody. Like just everyone in the room. That's why. It's kind of, everyone is feeling tense, dealing with our stuff. That's kind of what the whole last two years has done. Like we're all reassessing and having different feelings. I mean, that's why so many people are just quitting their jobs by the millions. Yeah.

Because people are just like, I don't like my life. Things aren't going right. And I mean, I'm never messing with anybody again because you don't know what they're going through. And you don't know who's an MMA fighter anymore. You don't know what can happen. You don't know who's got the jiu-jitsu. Not me. If you're going to fight, I'm the guy to fight.

It won't go well for me. We were talking about what would it take. In that moment, I probably would have done what Chris Rock did. I hope I would keep my cool and just be like, well, I wish that didn't happen. Yeah. it i hope i would keep my cool and just be like well i wish that didn't happen yeah well certainly it's not it's something that you've ever prepared for as a uh as a person who hosts things or yeah whatever like you don't see it coming right in any way you don't see it coming so quick but when he did the kind of laugh he's like he's like wow will smith just slapped the shit out of me

that's all you can say that's all you can say. That's all you can say. That's a seasoned performer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we got the book right here too as well. So we're doing a little two for one. We've got the movie out now and the book. We've also in recent months, we had Ricky Velez on. Yes. Love Ricky.

And I know you guys have become almost partners in a sense, right? Yeah. And I know he just seems like over the moon about it. I feel like you're probably a pretty good guy to get in business with when it comes to this movie gig, huh? Well, he was so helpful to me. We were working on King of Staten Island, and I wrote it with Pete and Dave Cyrus,

and Ricky's Pete's best friend. And every once in a while, I would just be like, I don't understand like how this character would behave. This like fictional version of Pete. And Ricky was just always so helpful and crazy funny. And then sometimes you realize like, oh, he's a writer. Like he's got a, he really knows story. He knows character. Like just, and then, so we just started doing writing sessions like to

punch up scenes did you know him prior to that no no yeah he was always like ricky's the greatest yeah well i feel like he's the guy when i saw him i was out of pete davidson comedy show and and ricky was opening for him and i was like pete's great but like i was like that guy is fucking hysterical yeah and i feel like when people either see ricky or whatever uh they realize like the talent he has. That was the first person that Pete said, like, we gotta do it. Basically, most of the cast,

it was like our first conversation with Pete. Right, right. Ricky and Milburn, Marissa Tomei, I mean it all. I was like, okay, sometimes you think about it, like, wait, let's just think who else is out there. I feel like you've probably got one of the best Rolodexes out there

when you want to do a movie now. I feel like you can pick from, you know, your pick of the litter almost. So when a guy comes in and you're like, how about this and how about that, you better be right. Because I don't think I would be telling Judd Apatow who to fucking cast or who to use.

Well, that's part of it is listening to that, right? So when there are certain people, you know, like when we work with Amy Schumer and she's like, I think Colin Quinn should play my dad. You have to really listen to that, right? So when there are certain people, you know, like when we work with Amy Schumer and she's like, I think Colin Quinn should play my dad. You have to really listen to that because they're having some instinct of what would make it funny or emotionally she's connected to him in some way. Oh, you should have Bridget Everett in there, you know, or Nikki Glaser. And, and so that all usually makes it way better, you know?

So I never wanted to be like, I'm going to bring in my team. I'm really listening. Like in the Big Sick, we had O'Byrne was in there and other people from Kamel's world. And that made that world come alive. It's interesting hearing you talk about how collaborative you seem to be because Judd Apatow doesn't seem like he should be collaborative.

He's like, this is what I do. This is what I do. But then I was even reading about how your daughter Iris helped you out on this, on the bubble, where you're writing the TikTok star. Yes. Where you were going to write it. Yeah, because how the hell are you going to understand that?

I can't get the app downloaded. Well, I didn't go deep into TikTok because how many things can I get into? Yeah, I'm done getting into things. If I'm not interested in it now, I'm out. My cutoff was Snapchat. When Snapchat started, I was like, I don't even know what the icons and the buttons do. So that's where I tapped out. But then if you're not on TikTok, I was like, well, well i can't keep doing it because there's gonna be something after tiktok

and after that i'm gonna have 16 apps on my phone like you gotta draw the line somewhere i don't even mean technologically speaking i mean if i haven't done it yet in my life i'm probably never gonna do it oh you're just i was old dog new tricks i was talking about it i was talking about it this weekend with some people were like you want to get a fresh shave because I was at a wedding this weekend. And I was like, I've never gotten one. I don't want to go in there and look like an idiot and not know how to do stuff. So I'm just going to skip it. So anything you haven't experienced, that's it.

There's no more experiences. Nothing like that. I got to respect it. I don't really know how to act. I'm like, I don't know. What if he's going to ask the questions I don't know the answers to? There's always like a moment, like new technologies where you just go, I'm not jumping in. And you feel like your grandmother who's like, what's the TiVo do?

Yes. And you just go, I can't do it. That was the first time I felt really old. Yeah. And I was like, I feel like when you don't know the hit music, when you don't know the slang, the current slang, and when you can't do the latest technology. Even when you're watching the people walk in the Oscars and you go, I now know 10% of them. Right.

And I'm in the business and I'm paying attention. That's probably a bad sign. You should probably know more than 10%. We should know 10%. I'm like, I know Schumer. My kid is playing on, he plays Minecraft on Nintendo Switch now. And I was like a uh growing up i was a video game kid and so i was kind of excited like oh i'm gonna do video games with my son now

and i'm like i don't even know the buttons i don't know how to do any of this shit i feel like ancient yeah and it's like i feel like we usually keep up kind of on the cutting edge so even more ain't i don't know it's just it's harder to keep up with space invaders that's where you tapped out space Invaders? I mean, Galaga, you know, and literally,

like in high school, I was like, yeah, I can't do the next move. It was all kind of beginning because I was there full pong time, like the very beginning

of all that shit. Like I had the first Atari when it came out and I was like, I'm the first kid on the block with Atari. I am the king. And then there was a moment

like, I think I'm already bored of this and never want to do it again for the rest of my life. The social media too is like, there's only so much toxicity I can keep in my life. So how many more apps can I add on that are just going to drive me crazy? How many ways can I get

people to call me an asshole? Anything you say. And anything you say, people are like, fuck you. Absolutely. If you're just like, I don't think people should punch each other on stage. You're an asshole. I don't like violence. Go fuck yourself.

You were mixing it up last night. But did we really think that he would maybe kill him? I would say in the world right now, you don't know. It's not what he did. It's what could have happened. You don't know what could happen. Right. Right.

Right. I mean, any scenario could have played out from that. Right. That's how it was handled. That's how it was handled by Chris. Right. We have no idea.

So anytime you're like crossing the line, you gotta be prepared for the worst. It's like being in a bar. Like sometimes something crazy happens. Well, that's what, so there was a doctor who, who shared your,

um, your sentiment and she was like, well, they could trip and fall. I was like, you're right. That's true. But that's probably not going to happen. Do we want to be in the world to find out? No. If it's a one in a million, do we even want to do that?

Right, right. But it is interesting because people are just like, well, that never could have happened. Like, okay, that's what you're passionate about? The never could have happened theory? You know, I mean, shouldn't we all be in a, the world is watching. Let's all be cool and be positive. It's a fair message. I was going to say it's a safe one. You would think most people would get behind it.

So talk to me about the bubble. It's, you know, kind of taking the pandemic. I mean, the world that you lived, right? It's a little bit meta, right? It's like making a movie in the pandemic about making a movie the the pandemic i mean the world that you lived right it's a little bit meta right it's like making a movie in the pandemic about making a movie in the band yeah i mean it's meta like 70 levels yeah i'm sure you know like we have like someone playing the covid supervisor who's terrible at it so like in the morning the real covid supervisor would tell us how to be safe and then we would yell action and the fake one would make fun of that one yeah so i was wondering

about that like when you have someone who's in the bubble being shitty at their job, and then that person in real life is watching, are they like, oh, wait a minute. You guys think I suck at my job? You know what I mean? It's definitely some of that. Yeah, it's like, wait a second.

I'm that guy, and it seems like you don't like that guy in the movie, so what the fuck? Because in the movie, no one's really following the protocols the way that they should, and there's a person frustrated by that. And then there's the real person who's watching that. But then as soon as someone yells cut, all those people have to take it seriously.

Right. Because the person that was in charge of the whole thing at Netflix was Vivek Murthy, who's now the Surgeon General of the United States. He used to work for Netflix telling movies how to stay safe. Really? So that's what we would talk to on the phone. And we listened to every word he said, and we didn't have one case in the whole nine months of making the movie. Yeah.

So you can do it safely. It's just- You gotta follow the rules. You follow the rules, and you test constantly. No sneaking out? Come on. No sneaking out. A little sneak out.

I am actually surprised. Now that it's over, they said, we weren't in the bubble, but they said, don't hang out after work. Nobody did. I had one dinner with Fred Armisen the day after we wrapped, and that was it, which sucks, because that's the whole fun of making the movie is the hang, and that's part of why you do it.

Yeah, but do you think if you were at a different stage in your career, like if you're a young actor or actress, you're like, I'm not staying in this bubble. Right. I mean, when the NBA, right. Oh,

I'm sure there are people on set somewhere who are like, I can't, I can't do it. You know, people like snap and they can't handle being alone. When the, when the NBA was trying to keep everybody in the bubble, I was like,

this is just not going to happen. Or maybe you're going to stay in, but people are, people are coming in or you're going out. Sometimes you got to stop at the strip club. Yeah. Get those wings. Yeah. I mean, that's part of it. Sometimes you've got to stop at the strip club. Get those wings. Yeah.

I mean, that's part of it. That was part of the inspiration for the movie was that story. An unbelievable tale. Yeah. So much fun. But he said that they were good. Yeah. And you know what?

Maybe they were good. Yeah. Then everyone's like, they do have delicious food there. Yeah. It was very quick where people were like, magic city, right? Yeah. People were like, oh, it was magic city? I got it again.

I got it again. Ah, the French it was magic city. I got me again. I got it again. The French toast at magic city. They got the breakfast. What do you think about the sentiment I've seen floating around for the past few years? Um, that like the comedy is dead in like a lot of the, the early two thousands that you're basically solely responsible for in a

way is just not like what it once was. Do you, do you subscribe to that? Do you think that's true? Well, they're not making a lot of comedy movies. Right, but is there a reason for that? I don't feel like they're making bad ones. I feel like they're not getting made. Just not doing it.

Well, I mean, before the pandemic, you could feel it slowing down a little bit at certain places. Like where I work, Universal, they like to make them. So we've been able to keep going. But I think when you are trying to make a movie that makes a billion dollars and has 11 sequels, the brain trust says, let's put all our time there. Yeah. So whatever movie we make, forgetting Sarah Marshall is not going to make a billion dollars and get 10 sequels and create its own universe. Right. So then each studio decides, well, I hedge my bet against these crazy expensive movies

with a couple of rational movies that like, you know, if some of them hit, we can make some good money. Because every once in a while, the mega expensive movie makes no money. Right. And they're screwed. So they're like, oh, we'll make a couple of horror movies over here. That's what I feel like it is, right? Horror and the action. it's super yeah so you just don't get the

investment in like the genre like and meet the fuckers era yeah uh because they're chasing big money and and those don't uh typically like do well in the box office i just feel like you know a great one is the hangover and so i think yeah right i I mean, my belief, if you make a fantastic one, I think everybody goes. And they go in a big way because there's no movie that's like, whatever,

hangover level funny that didn't make hangover money. Right, okay. I mean, you can't name the movie that you're like, that's the funniest movie of all time

and it made $3 million in the box office. But they're all successful. They all do, like when you say successful, it's like, it's not going to be that marble level. It's not ever going to go Avengers level because maybe it doesn't open up in China.

It doesn't open up in certain markets. The visual excitement of things blowing up and people flying around. What level would they? A very funny classic comedy from that era. What level did it make? Well, I think in those days, when movies were really doing well worldwide, they would make... A good comedy can make like $200 to $400 million. And they used to make a lot of money on DVD.

And so if someone would make the same amount on DVD, DVD went away with the streaming. And that's part of the reason why they're not as profitable was people used to buy those movies en masse. And so all that money has kind of disappeared and turned into streaming. And so you think it is a studio thing and a business thing? It's not like writers aren't writing them and actors aren't interested in them? It's more just money? Yeah, and also I think that the jobs in comedy are generally on TV shows.

So if I'm a young comic, I'm trying to get staffed on Big Mouth. I'm not writing my movie. Where in the old days when they made a lot of movie, there were a lot of scripts around. Like all your buddies were like trying to write a feature film. And now they're trying to create a show. Which, I mean, I get it and there's so many funny shows. But like when we do it all the time here, like list your favorite. Just the other day, another podcast was drafting your favorite 2000s comedies.

And I mean, the names are like the most important to us. Like our generation is those, those titles are like, I'm just surprised that more people are just trying to do TV because I think if you, if you get a super bad and knocked up, like those are, you know, you're set for life in a way of like you made an iconic comedy. But a lot of those people, like there was a market. It was called like a spec script market where people would write a script. They'd send it to every studio in town. They would all bid and people would make a lot of money on those comedy scripts.

Just from reading. They would just, they would sell them, right? So like you'd send it to every studio and then they would have a bidding war. Yeah. And that thing stopped. Got it. For whatever reason, maybe the studios were like, we didn't make enough of them.

We bought a ton of them. But maybe we didn't make that many for how many we bought. And they just decided they didn't want to do it that way. They want you to bring in the script and the actors and the director, and then they'll decide if they want to make it. The whole process has changed. And I think it may be people feel like you can get your stuff made quicker or get your money faster

working on a TV show. That's my theory. Yeah, I mean, I love the TV show. I could be wrong. But I just feel like the market right now is like they would go nuts for one of those comedy classics I feel like would make a billion dollars right now. It's been so long since I've been in the theater really.

I mean, it was old school and wedding crashes and da-da-da-da-da, and you had to see them all, and then Will Ferrell had his run. And now if that came back, I'd be like, let's all pay double so it does make a billion dollars so that they fucking keep making these movies. Well, we said that the whole pandemic, like, if someone made The Hangover Part 4 right now, it would be the

biggest movie of all time, right? But I think, you know, comedy will... We'll need you to pay for Bradley Cooper's salary. Exactly. Dr. Ken wants way more money than he did in the first place. Is that part of it too? Like, I mean, you know.

Sometimes. It does feel, and maybe this is just because it was the era that I grew up in, and maybe you could point to a million stars in Hollywood, but it feels like there was this run of like up-and-comers who were probably young and relatively cheap. Yeah. It always felt like one of your movies, like the, your movie that we're watching now is setting up the next star for the next movie and the next one.

It was just like, uh, you know, you had everything planned out and it was just like an endless supply of those stars. It felt like. Well, at some point everyone gets their rate and then you can't afford to make, make it with that cast anymore. And that's the hard part. Like, or everyone has to go like, we want to work together so bad we're all going to, you know, take half of what we get

to have the experience of being together and making things. And that happens sometimes. But when you do a movie and everybody's unknown, then you can get all the funny people.

Absolutely. You know what I mean? That's how it works. It's kind of like sports in a way. It's like when you've got to pay the quarterback and there's no more money on the salary cap

to build the team around you. Yeah, and then the team starts going like, maybe we don't need a great tight end and we'll keep the quarterback and there's no more money on the salary cap to build the team around yeah and then the team starts going like maybe we don't need a great tight end and we'll keep the quarterback we'll save a little money there right and that is part of what happens because you wish that everyone was in the movie together right right you want like all our favorite people you know to be in one movie together then you're like well that would be like the 200 million dollar comedy right i feel like there's creative ways to make the money, too, where it's like, you don't have to pay me straight up $20 million. Give me sales or royalties or whatever.

I mean, it can be done. It just takes work. And people have to want to do it and have an idea that they're excited to do together. So tell me about the book. Because that's a whole other. This is the sequel to Sick in the Head. Obviously, Sicker in the Head. Is this something like you write yourself?

Is it like... Because a lot of times it's in collaboration with or just solo Judd Apatow. This is a solo project. I mean, basically, the first book, Sick in the Head, I took all the interviews I did for my high school radio station and I did some new ones with people like Chris Rock and Jon Stewart and Amy and people like that.

And all the money goes to charity, to 826, which provides free tutoring to underprivileged kids. And so for this one, you know, we were in the pandemic. And I thought, everybody's home. Everyone is available. They can't tell me they're unavailable. So I started calling people like Letterman and Amber Ruffin. It's like, oh, Hasan Minhaj and Amy Schumer and Will Ferrell. I mean, the names are just crazy.

Yeah, and they're like deep talks because everyone was at home really vulnerable and scared and depressed. And so everybody really went there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably more than I understand. So a lot of them were conversations about things that I've always wanted to ask people. I've always wanted to ask Nathan Fielder how he made Nathan for you and what it was about and how he did it. Can he give an answer?

I feel like that's great. Some of you are like, I don't know. I was just born this way. I got nothing. That brain of his is, don't need that to science one day. I grinded him hard about like, what does it mean? Like, what are you saying? And he said something that was interesting,

because the show's about him trying to help people with their businesses. And he said, really like the joke of the show is that I want to be friends with them, but the idea that I have a show means it would be inappropriate for me to cross that line. So if you watch the show, it's really about me always holding back the fact that I just want to get rid of the show and be friends with it. But Sasha Baron Cohen is a great interviewer.

I mean, the middle of the book here, it goes Mulaney to one chapter, Mulaney to Kevin Hart to Lin-Manuel Miranda. I mean, it's, you know, you've got the best of the business in this right here. It's unreal. I mean, it's like, it is kind of,

it's like a podcast book in a way, right? It's like all the conversations you want to have. I think I wanted podcasts to exist. I didn't know what they were, but I wanted the long formats. And that's why I would like go hunt down Jerry Seinfeld in 1984, because there was no Jerry Seinfeld interview.

Now there's a lot of it. And I think that the difference here is I'm friends with a lot of these people, so I can really have deeper talks than you might even hear on a podcast. And if you're interested in being a comedian or an artist, I think they just give you a lot of the answers about how you do it, how you should feel about it. Oh, can you write those down? We would like to know how that works. Now, you were saying that in Sick in the Head,

that was what you did in your high school radio station. And is that when you call them and you'd say that's what you actually worked for? Would you tell them you were a high school kid? Well, no, I would just say I was with WKWZ Radio. Did you have that voice? Did you do the radio voice? I probably did a little deep voice. And I would call the publicist.

And back then, I also think that no one wanted to talk to comedians. There was no internet. There were no podcasts. So if you said, oh, I want to get an interview with Jay Leno, the publicist didn't have 10 people trying to get to Jay Leno. No one was trying to get to Jay Leno. Really? So a lot of times, it just made them look good to set him up with an interview.

And then I would show up with a little weird tape recorder from the AV squad. And it would get really uncomfortable. Like, oh, you've got to do this. He was becoming a child would show up with a tape recorder. It's like a Fisher-Price karaoke machine. There's always that moment, like, are they going to be so bummed? And some people would be. And some people would just go for it.

I'm going to say now, I'm going to demand that you stick to the book and don't do the podcasting because we're fucked. People like us are fucked, guys like you. I'm already mad about certain celebrities who start a podcast and they just have an endless supply of interviews, and they're already talented and professional, and they just blow schmucks like us out of the water. So you are not allowed to have the Judd Apatow show where you just put all those on Spotify and iTunes.

No, it hasn't happened yet. I will walk up to you and slap you. That would be a problem if you do this. I'm not sure why. I think just because I like so many podcasts that usually when I'm working, I think, what doesn't exist? And so back then, that didn't exist. And now that there's so many interesting interview shows

and I'm a fan of them, I don't think like, well, I better get in there and do the thing no one's doing because I think they're doing it. Well, you'd be late to the game, but what you provide would change the game. You know what I mean? It's like if you're just a Joe Schmo. Fine, I'll do it.

We got 10% because we came up with the idea on here. Somebody call Friendster. I'm in. What do you think is next? Is there a whole different medium or something that you're trying to do outside of movies and podcasts and books? I mean, I'd love to try to write a play or a musical. I'd love to do something for the stage.

I thought about it once and took almost a year and researched a thought and didn't write one word. But that is the thing, because I think our process is suited for the stage. We punch it up, we watch it, we fix it, we fix it again. And I think that process would work for developing a play,

a funny play, because there really aren't that many funny plays. And not that many new ones. Again, not many people

trying to do what Neil Simon did so many times. So, hopefully I'll get to do that at some point. What is your,

your kids, I feel like it's so funny, like in a lot of the families I know, like the dad, the dad jokes and the dad humor is often kind of like, oh, it's corny or whatever. But when you have the resume that you have, it's kind of like you're undeniably like one of the funniest people to ever do it. It's still dad humor. The key to dad humor is all you have to do is walk in a room and talk to your children as if you don't realize

they want you to leave. So you just walk in a room and it's like my daughter and all her friends and you're just like, what are we doing tonight? Can I come to dinner? And then they laugh at you. That's the most shocking, horrifying thought ever.

That's a dad joke. You could do it in any situation. Where are we going next? Can I come to the movie? You do it every time and they laugh every time. You're right because I'm now reliving that happening and I'm uncomfortable and awkward, but I'm laughing. Because you have to.

You have to laugh because otherwise it's like, wait, does he really want to come? We have to laugh to make sure it's a joke. Yeah, exactly. I was reading an interview with you in The New Yorker. And you had something funny that I thought was funny. It was that you discovered walks on the pandemic. Yeah, exactly.

During the pandemic. And I think that. The whole concept. It's so weird. Just leave and go walk around for a while. I'm like, in my 50s. Because I had heard that every day at noon, Lorne Michaels takes a walk for an hour.

And I hadn't heard that for decades. And I was always like, what the fuck is he doing on this walk? What happens? Why would you do that? Why would you take a walk? And so then I think right before the pandemic started, I did. I went on a hike with Jim Carrey. And right around the corner from where we live, there's these mountains.

And we took a walk. And it was the prettiest. It was like we were in Hawaii, like in the middle of Santa Monica. And I'm like, oh, I didn't realize this was here. And I thought that wasn't unpleasant. You can tolerate this. I'm also not much of a nature guy but sometimes you go, I'll go skiing

and I'm like, this earth is fucking sick. And you're like, I'll do it next year. One time's enough. You have a religious experience. On the pandemic I thought, I'm either going to gain a lot of weight and just be drunk in my office all day hiding from my family, or I'm going to do something else.

And so I started taking two-hour walks every day. And that's when I thought of the idea for the bubble was just on one of the walks. It is. People discovering things that are obvious. And we all do it. We all do it where we're like, the main one I've talked about recently was my dad and he recently

discovered water. I had to trick my dad into drinking water. I'm always saying, dad, can you drink water? I like Pepsi. Dad,

eat green food, but I like Lay's potato chips. My dad will call me all the time now. It's like discovering oxygen. I'm like, I'm a little tired today You had a lot of water?

Everything now Now that he's found out That it makes him feel better He's telling it back to you I'm like yeah no dude I've been drinking water My whole life I'm a huge water guy

This isn't new to me When you meet people like that Like You want some fruit? I don't eat fruit Like ever? Like fruit's not a part of anything? Like vegetables

Off the list None Zero vegetables My dad discovered walks as well I guess it's more Just to get away from fruit like ever like fruit's not a part of anything like vegetables none zero vegetables my dad discovered walks as well i guess it's more just to get away from my mom yeah and he brings the dog with him and i think the dog is like all walked out he's like i'm tired bro this is our fifth walk of the day we're going like three miles each time i am done man you hide from your wife on your own i'm staying back here with her uh so so the bubble um we have that in the works and and is there um you know is there like because you have this this stellar list that

we keep talking about are there like up-and-comers that you know of or are trying to put on or that is the next quote-unquote if you will that you well you know is going to be the next big thing i mean i i just produced a gay rom-com starring Billy Eichner. Great. And that comes out in the fall, and it's really great. Nick Stoller directed it and wrote it with Billy. And that's a great, hilarious, romantic comedy. And we've been working on something with the Lucas Brothers

for a few years that we really like, and we're hoping to get that shot soon. Unbelievable. And that one's going to be fun. I feel like if you get the Judd Apatow seal of approval, it means something, right? Oh, is that what you feel like? Yeah.

Do you understand what that means to other people? When Ricky came in here and talked about it, he was like, this is one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me, getting this cosign and letting into this world. Are you kind of protected in a way before you give out the seal it's just more like it's a process of working really hard on your stuff right so if if there's someone that

we think is great and has a story to tell then it's like do you want to join us to work your ass off trying to go as deep as you can go to do something really great because it's hard and sometimes it takes years. Sometimes it takes half a decade to like get the script that becomes, you know, bridesmaids or something like that. It's a, it's a real grind. And a lot of times people don't even want to do it again.

I mean, it's really tough, but when you find somebody, well, like the Lucas brothers who couldn't be funnier and they have a great story, uh, it's exciting to try to figure it out. Right.

You know, like what, what would make for the greatest version of what they do? Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out with them as well and make it happen because that's what you do. So The Bubble is the movie. Sicker in the Head is the book. Yeah. And the podcast will never exist.

The podcast will never happen. And I'm going to have a 92Y this week with Rami Youssef, if anyone wants to see that. Cool. And at the Paris Theater, we're going to have a screening where I'm going to do a Q&A on the 29th. Is that what day it is? It's the only screening where we're talking afterwards in New York. So those things could be fun.

Thank you, sir. We appreciate the time. Thank you. Thank you. All right. time thank you thank you Thank you. Bye.