KFC Radio - Jackie Faked a Pregnancy (For a Good Cause) Ft. Shane Torres

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Timecodes: 0:00 01:28 Jackie Faked a Pregnancy 13:30 Starburst Swirlers 19:03 How long would it take you to get to the moon / conspiracy theories 40:47 Dumb Money Review / Rich people 54:33 Video Voicemails 01:26:37 Interview Preview: Shane Torres +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Go to https://stacker2.com/barstool, make a purchase online, take a screenshot of your receipt, and tweet us the photo with the #BiteBack for a chance to win Pirate Water: Go to https://drinkpiratewater.com to find Pirate Water in a location near you or order on gopuff Better Help: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month. Rent.app: Head to https://Rent.app/barstool for $50 off your first rent payment and download Rent app in the App store today Solo Stove: Run, don’t walk, to https://solostove.com to pick up the limited-edition Snoop Stove and join Snoop in going smokeless for good.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Like, in my head, I was like, this fucking 24-hour-old, like, she's, like, fucking having a baby, and she's scared. She's telling everyone, like, we're making sure we don't look dumb. Like, this is ridiculous. That's exactly what it was. I was like, let's just be real now. And then we looked dumb. KFC Radio is presented by Stacker 2 Energy. Loud, aggressive, and straight out of the Attitude Era.

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We're back. This is one of the shittier days at Barstool where we gotta do like 800 things. It's like 12 hours of recording today. So, big woe is me episode. But you know, at least Jackie's not knocked up. I mean, I'm for sure

getting knocked up now. It's the worst karma in the world. And i don't even think it was really that worth it jackie texted us literally i know the time stamps exactly i went back and checked it was 6 24 i called john immediately he called me he was like did you see that text and i was like i don't know he hasn't looked yet i was like, did you see that text? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. He hadn't looked yet. I was like, go check your texts right now. And he just goes, no fucking way. I was 100% in.

I was like, she's pregnant. Like, I thought. Really? I thought for sure. Until I said to him, I was like, this is like a game, a bet, a challenge. Even then, I wasn't totally sold. Then you brought the tampons. And I was like, oh, yes.

It wasn't for the tampons i i probably would have been like i really don't think this is true but like but i gotta take her out her word in case it is so i was like i have to stop talking about my period so much he was like he's like she was just handing those tampons oh yeah that's right but then i was like but maybe i was like it was like a smoking gun he was like yeah but i was like, she was just handing us tampons. Oh, yeah, that's right. But then I was like, but maybe. It was like a smoking gun. He was like, yeah. But I was like, I obviously don't know how vaginas or menstrual cycles work. I was like, maybe she was expecting her period. And she got home, and it hadn't happened yet.

So she took a test. And she's fucking pregnant, dude. I was like, Jackie's pregnant. Because you'd made faces recently about like – Yeah, you said something about that. You made a face recently about like – I'm late on my period, by the way. Something like that. And I was like, maybe – it's so weird how much we were like –

Really? We were just replaying everything you've done for the last month and a half. She did say this. She was drinking that. everything you've done for the last month and a half being like that's what you did say this my perspective you guys were like like no response for like 20 minutes and then yeah and then you guys were like ha you should see my face and like then we landed on something where we're like yeah that was perfectly neutral yeah all of your texts were actually – I wanted to write back, like, great prank. But if it's not, like, I'm fucked. But if it was a good prank or if it was true, either way, my face on camera would have been great. So that's – it plays either way.

I was like, I'm just going to send that. And then his was the helmet being so funny. You guys had perfect responses the whole time. It was very funny. But then the LOL you guys are the are the least i felt bad sending that but that was i was like that's a real time that one i texted kevin i was like dude i think it's real yeah like that lol like just delete like lol you guys are the least um what was it the least supportive comforting yeah and i was like boop i was like i was like i don't know. I forget. We can look up what I actually said.

But I was like, I don't know. I think I said, dude, I think it's real. Something like that. And he's like, I'm at least going to start acting like it is. And it was the world on the same page. Well, then it became, I was like, the worst case scenario is like, she says it's fake and we look silly. Yeah.

Whatever. It is very funny that it is this line of work and it's all stuff where like, because when I was actually buying weed i was at a weed store in dartmouth mass when this i was on the phone at my parents house when you called and i went out and i was like in there and i was like just kind of staring at my phone and i was like it's so fucking ridiculous that our first like gut instinct is to be like well let's make sure we don't look dumb here it's like we should like be like hey congratulations or hey i was like was like so

crazy and then and that's when i texted kevin i was like look i think it's real and then we agreed like let's just go real with it and and our gut instinct was right yeah because we live in a fucked up world where we're battered by manipulation. It was like – in my head, I was like this fucking 24-hour old. She's like fucking having a baby, and she's scared. She's telling her mom. I was like, we're making sure we don't look dumb. This is ridiculous.

That's exactly what it was. I was like, let's be real now. And then we looked dumb. And then she wrote like, LOL, it's not real. Whatever it was. Fuck, LOL, it's not real. Whatever it was. I said my favorite part of it was gonna keep it, LOL. But that was like, that's how

Jackie would say it. I was just gonna say I would have said exactly that. It's funny that you just muted it too. We just muted you because that worked. I didn't see it. I didn't see the tweet until the next day. I was like, oh oh other people knew about this God damn it

I look so stupid now We just talked about Why did we mute you You did something that was like Yeah what was it though It was an ass pic It was an artistic photo It was an ass pick on the car it was an artistic photo like of your cheek on pinterest yeah and and we so so as soon as we were like we agreed it was like all right this is a little bit

awkward we will mute you so that you don't have to worry anymore immediately she takes advantage i should start like talking shit about you guys on my totally i mean i did not see that i will if you talk about i will never my my brother texted me after like the cat was out of the bag being like he she's doing it for black so when then you said it's you said something like i'm doing it for black friday and i thought you meant like i'm doing it for april fools i didn't connect that you were like if you if you send me 15 receipts, I'll do this or whatever. I just thought you thought that Black Friday was a day to prank people. April Fool's, let me do a fake pregnancy.

It's Black Friday. Let's do our fake pregnancy. I'm like, wait, what's Black Friday? What does this even fucking mean? Dude, when I came back from taking the call, I was watching TV with my mom, and I came back, and she was like, you seem confused. And I was like, yeah, mom, and I came back, and she was like, you seem confused.

And I was like, yeah, it's some Black Friday. It's like the numbers aren't really adding up or whatever. And then I left, and I almost told her. I was like, yeah, I can't. That's not good luck or whatever. And if I had told my mom, I was like, I think Jackie's pregnant, she would still think it right now. Because by the time I got back, I went to a movie. I'd have forgotten to bring it up.

And my mom would. So like six months from now, she'd be like, so how's that girl doing? She had that baby yet? What? What are you talking about, Ma? Black Friday prank, idiot. Oh, you live in a world where people pull Black Friday pranks? You fucking moron.

That was after Gaz had tweeted. Yeah, we cracked the whip. You got to do Because that was after, like, Gaz had tweeted. Yeah, we cracked the whip. Well, you got to do some shit. She's like, fake pregnancy. And I was like, that's going to be the easiest. Because I've been like. You lazy bitch. Yeah.

And so then I was just kind of like, I could. Because I originally said, like, I'll play a prank on. I, like, posted, like, I'll play a prank on them for every screenshot you send. And then I was like, wait, now I have to do, like, a lot of pranks. So I was like, what's something that can just, like. I was like, I just have to pull all the lot of pranks so it's like what's something that can just like i was like i just have to pull the big guns and just like fake a pregnancy thing and but then also like i mean now i feel so bad you guys are so cute we're like all those all right easy easy okay okay we're old we're not fucking cute old yeah i was talking

about being uncles this little bastard bro this little fucking baby without a father the before we let you go jackie um i have a question that i because i got i got asked this question at thanksgiving by my aunt and i i think i'm right but i also can't tell like i'm definitely old. But I also can't tell if I'm right or... I think I'm both. I acknowledge that I'm a little removed and everything. But she was like, John, give me the pop culture update. Oh, you'd be terrible. And I was like, I honestly

don't think pop culture exists anymore. And she was like, what does that mean? Oldest answer you could have given. But I was like, they're obviously insanely oldest answer you could have yeah but but here like here i was like they're obviously insanely famous people but like taylor swift selena gomez ariana grande they've all been famous for 20 years like they've all not quite household names but doing stadium and arena tours for 20 years outside of like olivia rodrigo are there people like that

yeah yeah like like like people like what like who were like 20 and crazy famous uh like everyone on tiktok but like okay but that i wouldn't call that i guess like again like that's pop but like pop culture is like they're in magazines like that's like like they're on tiktok i don't think it's just well as i was explaining where it's like there's this man is so old he's saying magazines matter more than tiktok but you know what i mean like they're on billboards they're on they're on They're in Times Square. They're selling out arenas. I am trying to think of more.

I am trying to think of more. I was saying that, obviously, again, I acknowledge I'm definitely old, but I think there is a difference between crossing over into, there are sects of popularity where people are crazy famous,

but there isn't that cross. Taylor Swift, they were mainstream names. Again, I'm not saying there aren't famous people. Because you know what it is? There's no like centralized like radio anymore. Right. Or like you get on like Letterman or something like that.

It's like this clump of people know about you. But to be in pop culture, you need to be elsewhere off TikTok. Like you have to be elsewhere. I like Kardashians and Hailey Bieber Like, Kardashians and Hailey Bieber. Like, Kardashians, Hailey Bieber. But these are all people who have been around for 20 years. I mean, like, is there anyone who's... Sophia.

Well, but everyone's going to be on social media. What's that? All these young people are going to be on social media. So it's like... But, like, they were on social media and also crossed over into other worlds. I don't think that that happens so much anymore. Like, Sydney Sweeney. I guess we think that that happens so much anymore. Like Sidney Sweeney. I guess we haven't seen somebody do a movie

in Shia LaBeouf. Yeah. Sidney Sweeney isn't like... Was she a TikTok girl? No, she's not a TikTok girl, but she's just like a movie star. Yeah, I would say Sidney Sweeney probably, that's a good one. I was going to say Sidney Sweeney, Jack Harlow, Ortega. Ortega's a big one.

Zendaya's a big one. Ortega is a good one. Zendaya is a big one. Zendaya is a great one. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say that, like, I was trying to think of a name. I think those are five right there. Yeah, those are five good ones. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. But none of them are TikTokers. They're – Yeah. Like, to be, like – I feel like pop – to be involved in pop culture, you have to do movies, TV, music. Yeah.

Like, just – you can be famous otherwise, but you're just not part of pop culture. Right. Yeah. Right. I feel that. I feel like, but you're just not part of pop culture. Right. Yeah. Right, I feel that. I feel like the whole Euphoria cast is coming. Yeah, I think, you actually kind of have a point, though. Yeah, I know it's old, but I think I'm kind of right, too. The country stars are that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The country stars that are making waves. Yeah, there's Morgan Wallen and Jelly Roll. Jack Bryan. KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. We are through one holiday. We are through Thanksgiving.

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It is entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find your bright spot this season with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash KFC today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash KFC. Brianna had a fucking Instagram story of her and Zach Bryan in the car. And I never reply to stories.

I never say anything. I so quickly was like, what the fuck is that? And I never heard. I watched it. Not so quickly. I watched the video five times first trying to decipher it on my own. And I couldn't. I was like, what the fuck is that?

And I don't know if this is some super famous thing. I know for a fact it's not. They just got it at a rest stop. Starburst somethings. They were like – I was like, what is that candy and how is it? That's what you're talking about. I didn't know what was coming. I thought it was going to be like a new device or something.

No, no, no. A way to stop the paparazzi. A new thing that famous people do. Bro. It's just candy? It's just candy, dude. And you think that this is happening because Brie and him are so famous? Yes.

Yeah. I was like, what is it? Like Starburst gave them inside? Starburst Swirlers, they're called. Starburst or Starburst? Starburst Swirlers. Look at called. Chewy Starburst Swirlers. Look at these things. I mean, come on.

They're like Starburst sticks. I want to get the level of fame one day. Bro, go to a gas station. Dude, I spend a lot of time at gas stations or convenience stores. I've never seen these before. I was like, because they even say in it, like Zach reads, he's like, we've got Starburst Swirlers, and I couldn't tell because of his accent. And I was like, what is he saying? it, like, Zach reads, he's like, we got Starburst, and I couldn't tell because of his accent. And I was like, what is he saying?

What does that mean? Oh, my God. What are these things and how do they taste? Who is your daddy and what does he do? I was like. You are just such a piece of shit. It's like I can't call you a fat piece of shit because you're not, but, like, you are a piece of shit. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah. Trash. It's just trash trash like like like you saw starburst and got like gassed bro i never reply to a story to brianna to be like where did you get your candy i was like hang on a second what's that candy bro that is so rock bottom i love it i fucking love it dude you ever had a pumpkin roll no i got a pumpkin roll at the grocery store the other day. I think they just took all the leftover pumpkin shit from Thanksgiving and just rolled it up into a fucking thing.

It's like a pumpkin pie with some, I don't know, cream cheese frosting or whatever, and they just roll it. Sounds pretty nice. It was a delight. It was a fucking delight. But they had a whole case full of them, and I was like, I think these are just stale pumpkin pies, and I'll take yeah when you let things get stale just rub some cream cheese on it you won't be able to taste the mold the cream cheese will cover it oh man cream cheese frosting

is a motherfucking problem speaking of of mold or whatever dude i i got home last night and i had a like a peanut butter cake in my fridge. It had only been five days. It wasn't mold, but there was some white spores. You just described mold. Yeah, and I just stared at it and was like, can I fucking eat this? Did you really cut out that part? No, don't tell me.

I started cutting and I was like, dude, what's going to happen? I was eating around it i was just like i was like dude what's the worst it's gonna happen putting bacteria in your i i i've said this before i have a long-standing thing here i think food safety is vastly overrated i actually saw a post on social media about the other day really that laid it out it was like best if used by means peak flavor best if sold by is like just the law that like the store has to get rid of it but that all of your food can go like another month to say i think they said except milk is like the real deal milk milk's quick like everything else is like you

can go like a couple months i don't believe that yeah i don't think it spoils i just eat and now i also believe that you have been you're like a shark That's just been eating everything So it won't affect you If I eat moldy peanut butter cake I'll probably get sick Your body's like oh it's moldy peanut butter cake We eat this on the regular This is just a regular thing

The same way that if somebody eats sugar When they don't eat sugar their body reacts That would be us for mold It's not for you You just eat mold And mind you all this advice comes from someone who has regularly food poisoning and has been hospitalized with

foodborne illnesses before. So, take it with a grain of salt. He always does that. Come on. It'll be fine. I'm like, you just got out of the hospital. You get food poisoning. You puke. Like, you ever had an infected duodenum? I have. A duodenum?

I've never even fucking heard of that. It's basically the valve, the stovepipe valve that closes your stomach. Yeah, no kidding. That thing's trying to run away. That thing's like, get me out of this body.

It's trying to crawl up your esophagus out of your mouth. You ever had E. coli? Yeah, I had that too. Anyway, foodborne illnesses are kind of bullshit. Look, they won't kill you So like

Yeah That's the bar Few days in the hospital Gives a shit Could use the break I want to lose some pounds Anyway The

Fuck My favorite response Still I'll call my mom sometimes Again The woman who gave me E.coli And I'll be like You think this is good and like over the phone she's like it's fine

she could not tell at all how it looks or how old it is but the i remember one time i called about a hello fresh thing and i was like it's like four days old or like i think i got it like last monday and it's like wednesday or whatever and she goes is it vacuum sealed i was like yeah she goes we could fly that to the moon and back it'll be fine i don't even know how long that is that might be seven hours i don't know how long it takes to get to the moon but let's play that game how long does it take to get to the moon okay because and also like like literally because like i think you have to like get into orbit like you can't just fly a thing right there. Yeah, yeah. If you leave – You're talking about as the crow flies?

No, that's what I mean. Right now – because I don't think we can even figure that out. Yeah. Well, you can just figure out how many miles away it is and if you drove across 60 miles an hour. We could do that, yeah. I would guess it takes 14 days driving if we're going as the crow flies, obeying speed limits. This fucking guy is talking about driving to the moon. And I would guess to fly on a spaceship, obeying the laws of physics and things like that, that's closer to three months.

You think it takes less time to drive a car there than to take a spaceship there? You just said it takes two weeks to drive there and then three months to take a car there than to take a spaceship there? You just said it takes two weeks to drive there and three months to take a spaceship there. Spaceships go like hundreds of thousands of miles an hour. Not once they're in space. Once you drop the rockets, you're just floating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I can just go 65 on fucking 495 the whole way. So you think when you're floating in space, you're going like half a mile an hour?

Yeah. You're probably going like hundreds of miles an hour. I have no idea how fast you're floating in space, you're going like half a mile an hour? Yeah. You're probably going like hundreds of miles an hour. I have no idea how fast you're going. I think you're going slow. I mean, movies make it look slow. That's for sure. Yeah. You get in the rockets until you hit the ozone.

They drop those, and then you're just floating. You could tell me that it's – well, let's think about this. When you come back to the earth and you're flying through the sky – that's because of gravity, though. Yeah. So gravity is making you go fast. So if you get out of the gravity and you're floating this is something you could tell me you're going like one mile an hour or like a thousand miles an hour and i'd be like they're both it's like when you take a fucking real relatable analogy here we take a ferry to the vineyard it's only a mile but it takes an hour it doesn't go very fast

like if you could walk you get there faster yes're going to cover this thing up with a bridge. It's like a mile and a half. Okay, so you're saying driving to the moon takes two weeks. Flying there takes three months. Yes. I think nowadays, I think we can get to the moon pretty quick. I would guess two weeks to fly and like – and like – we're going 65 miles an hour, you said? Yeah, yeah.

Let's go – if you went – if you would go 100 miles an hour, every hour, how far do you think the moon is? Because then we can just do that number, right? 14,000 miles. I think it's going to be more than that, right? Yeah, I think so. I would say it's got to be in – I would say the moon is like 200,000 miles away. Yeah, that sounds right. I don't have numbers.

Oh, okay. I was like, is that correct? No, I don't have my phone number. Okay, let's see. How far – we'll do that one first. How far away is the moon? Yeah, you nailed it. Man!

Yeah. So then 200 – so if we drove 100 miles an hour, so if we do 238,000 divided by 100, 238,000 miles an hour divided by 100. It would take 2,380 hours and you divide that by 24. 95 days. Three months. Okay. So that's pretty close.

You said two weeks to drive. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty close. If you flip your shit, so now let's see. How long does it take to get to the moon? The moon, three days.

Three days. Three days. Once again. It takes about three days for a spacecraft to reach the moon. During that time, the spacecraft travels 240,000 miles. Oh, right. So, but I would have thought you were right that like floating in space – I guess nowadays they have propulsion. That's like –

Yeah. Those are those things. But that's really – That's like to finesse it into like a – Exactly. That's what you're parking. That's what those are for. That's when those guys – when you're flying –

You only have so much gas. Right. We all know that. You run out of those things. You're just floating in space for the rest of your life. Yeah, when they're like – psst, psst, psst, and they just kind of, er, er, er. Yeah. I can't imagine them moving.

I thought they were, I didn't think they were moving that fast. How fast? But, like, asteroids go, like, a jillion miles an hour. Yeah. But that's when the aliens who throw them started to crash. Naturally, they fired them out of a fucking cannon. I've gone, I went so deep into the tinfoil hat this break. For what?

Well, UFOs and technology. But what caused this? I put on a podcast. I saw a guy on Instagram, went on a podcast, and then I watched the documentary. If what this guy is saying is true man fucking fucking so you know what this is this is this is for you this is for you whenever you're like what like how does this affect me okay and basically his point is it all kind of does tie back to ufos because u UFO technology basically is possible.

Like we can do it. And we don't because big oil and coal and all the guys who get big money from the old school way of doing things stop it from happening. But we could basically using these anti-gravity technologies, and not to get too nerdy about it, but Nikola Tesla first came up with the theory that the Earth just has natural energy. And if you can tap into that,

it's an endless source of free energy. And if you do that, basically everything from manufacturing to food to construction, everything we do is expensive because of energy. And if you can just eliminate that, it's basically like a utopia where you don't have to worry about – there's no more poverty. There's no more Hungary. There's no more any of that because we can just get everything we need to everybody because money – I don't even know what would happen then because like money would almost not become a thing. But this guy's documentary is called The Lost Century.

And he basically said there's 100 years of technology. That they've been suppressing because the day that this all gets out is the day that we're not digging for oil. And those oil baron tycoon type guys aren't rich anymore. But why don't they just get rich in that field? That's what I say. It's fucking hard. But I think my devil's advocate would be like, those people want to be rich. And if they're aware of that, I feel like they would be like well let's get like i i think they just kill the people who are doing it but like there's a list of like 10 people that

are either they just like disappeared they straight up got murdered they there's a couple guys that took their their knowledge just to the grave because they were like afraid they were like all right a lot of these like engineers and scientists and shit as soon as you start like being like i in i i did this uh experiment and i found this out like all of a sudden like you start getting threats you start getting weird shit starts happening and there's a lot of guys who are like all right like i'm out and then they just fucking die and they'd never like passed on the knowledge to anybody else which is fucking insane to think about just dying with the knowledge of like something that could radically change the world forever and you just like cash out with that but speaking strictly

from a business perspective like wouldn't you like wouldn't a business person which they are well they want that to be like oh shit this is crazy let's invest in this i i think the problem is what i just said though What happens to money and value If like everybody can But all that stuff moves so slow And they're Big business people are so greedy That's not even going to affect you in your lifetime

That wouldn't happen Quick enough that you become obsolete You'll die crazy rich And sure the world will change in 50 years Or 100 years He does go into some cloak and dagger shit Where he's talking about the deep state, how it's like this spans multiple presidencies. I think it's like the weird people who want to keep it. Once lies start crossing generations is where you start to lose me because I just don't believe – believe like i i've i am around people a lot they just talk yeah they just talk but i mean this guy is kind of

interesting he's like there is a ton of examples like there was a thing in 1921 this guy has a fucking car that was like an electric car that he was like this engine can run forever like we tested it just runs and and like and it there's a fucking article about it right and then it just like never progressed that guy died and like nothing ever happened there was a a farm i think they were called the stubble fields they had this gigantic like uh kind of like a drill sort of machine they said that ran on like uh the electromagnetic field and like the earth or whatever and they said they just had a completely self-sustaining farm that like used no energy and there are examples of it it's just it doesn't get

to like a lot of a lot of the um a lot of documentaries about the media too like it gets there's top top level media people who just like squash any type of art but there have been so many media people like so many new top level people since then like every single person wants to squat about one person's like this is kind of interesting yeah well i think what's happening is with the internet is that's starting to happen like this guy is setting up um ways for you to safely put your studies out there so you get fucking killed. Because if I found this shit out and I knew that they're going to come kill my kids, I'd be like, I don't know, whatever. We'll fucking stick with the coal. I would – again, this is my naivete.

I'd be like, there's no way they're going to kill me. This is a good thing. When they started rattling through, there's no way they're going to kill me over this. This is a good thing. When they started rattling through, there was like 10 names. I was like, they all died mysteriously. I was like, I don't know. It would probably be enough for me to be like,

I don't think I'm doing this. Because again, it's like, I probably, by the time you get going, I'm going to cash out anyway. I don't fucking care. By the time it gets all implemented. But it is crazy to think that like, it kind of made sense to me though. It's like think about everything else that has changed. Like if you lived for 100 years, you went from like horse and buggy to like fucking – you watched communication, transportation, all that shit like radically changed. But you're telling me we're still burning coals to make energy?

You don't think there would be tons of guys splitting atoms and doing all this other crazy shit that's way, way far advanced than just coal and oil and all that sort of shit? We are doing that, right? Well, that's what I mean. We're doing it to like – he's saying we're doing it to like a fraction of our capability that we – and all of those things basically sounds like all of those – like the Tic Tac and all these things are just like – Lockheed Martin and those guys can just make those. They just know how to make those. It's not – this guy, it's weird. He believes in aliens and all that shit, but he's like, but those are just – we make those. I think the – I just think that people are generally good.

And it's actually kind of how I was thinking about with like – I think that's where you're wrong. Huh? I think that's where you're wrong. I think generally – I think general people are good. I think that you get to a layer of people that are not good. I don't think...

And obviously I could be wrong, but I think that most Congress people and most senators, I think they want to help the world. And sure, other things get in the way, and sure, you have to do your politicking, but I think you get into that business because you want to help the world.

Make change or whatever, yeah. Yeah, and maybe you want to help the world. Make change or whatever. Yeah. And maybe you become hardened along the way or maybe you become soured on it, jaded, whatever word you want to use. But I don't think someone who doesn't want to be – I think those people are kind of pawns too is what this guy is saying. He's like that there's levels above this. He said that there was like – it's funny that like there's – the black budget is something that is just like known now.

Like there is a budget in the government for shit that like we don't talk about. Yeah. But that's – it's almost like that we know that and then there's another one on top of that that he's talking about. You know what I mean? So it's like there's the people who are like – I think if you're front frontward facing or doing any of this like you're just part of it as well you're like part of the their game as well i guess so it could i obviously don't know but the the it's almost like that's all that's all more that's where it gets conspiratorial i think what's more interesting is him being like, we have like engineers, not many.

There's like a couple hundred on the planet. It's like top, top, top level shit of guys who are like – like he said something as simple as one of the – we kind of talk about this on the podcast before when we say – we've asked the question a couple times. What do you think is the one thing right now that we believe to be scientifically true and it's not. And like one of the main like tenets of, of, of I think physics and engineering and all this shit is you cannot get more energy out than you put in. If I, if I put in like this many kilowatts,

that's like the maximum that can come out. And he's just like, this is not true. It's just not true. Like if you just use this machine and this and this and that, you can put in a fraction of this and it can generate like an entire country's worth of you know of he said uh whatever whatever measurement like a coffee cup of this thing would could like evaporate the entire all of the oceans in the world but what is the reasoning for not using it gets prevented i mean they want to these people

create it and they like would love to but these these are the people that all get either whacked or murdered or whatever. But then why doesn't anything new get suppressed? Why just that one? I think that's where I feel like it's probably still relatively new that like – I think in the past, the minute that a scientist came up with some shit, right? It was just like, you got rid of him right away. But now there's the internet. You can put these things out there. So it's going to proliferate and become more of a well-known thing.

But I think there was just so few people in this field. But wouldn't – so I'm just saying media people. He referenced them. Wouldn't they have squashed the internet to keep the newspaper? Wouldn't oil people have squashed electric cars like why is this one being singled out uh yeah it's a good question i mean i think it's probably because it's it's so radical like i think pivoting from print journalism to the internet is something you can do whereas like if you took away it's almost like taking away their entire thing you know what i mean but they could just get into

that yeah that's what that would be my argument is like stop fighting this and get on board with this yeah kill that guy fucking invest in that guy and then you become king of the fucking world because you're the one who did it right but that's where i don't know that's where the i think this this guy doing is trying to make that happen where it's like, what they do is like as soon as it gets to like a patent office they like fuck with it and then it's like now I don't even have control of my own thing anymore so I'm not going to do it, like I'm not going to get paid for it

I'm not going to, so like there's a million ways like from straight up killing you to making it like you no longer are going to make any money off of this, we're just going to hit you with red tape all the way and you're like, I'm trying I just can't. I also am inclined to believe this guy. It actually is like with surviving coming out.

I think most of the world is just like people on Surviving Barstool. Where like. I like this. It's just like. They're not lying. People aren't lying to you. But they're not telling you the truth either. So you kind of just go with vibes. You're like they're not lying. People aren't lying to you, but they're not telling you the truth either. So you kind of just go with vibes where you're like, yeah, all right.

It's going to be a semblance of the truth told in a way that makes them look a little better than they should or something like that. And that's just how people interact. That's why people are like, surviving is crazy. It's just the world. I think that's why a show like that works is because you see a lot of that shit put on display. You see people's selfishness. It's pretty rare. Even on a game show like that.

It's pretty rare that someone is just outright lying to your face. And I think that's how the world is too. When that does happen, people are aghast. This person is a villain because they did not tell you the truth. So like I don't think that guy's outright lying, making all that up. But I also don't think everything's true either. I don't think that like business doesn't want new business.

I think they... I just can't imagine... What I believe is that he believes it 100%. Because it's like he's making these documentaries and he's like risking like his life and reputation. He's like, you know, people don't take me seriously. Like I worry about my family. These are the people that he said, if you work for me, we have of we have like a 24 hour security that we have like legally put in that they could use lethal force because he was like in 1998. Two people in my company got killed and he was like, this never happen again and so now he has like 24 so all this shit like he's

at least got to be a hundred percent convinced yeah whereas so he's not like a snake he might be naive or something like that but he's not like i'm gonna go tell the whole world there's aliens and there's not right you know i think even like i think everyone i think it's always like there's some it's based on some truth like it don't think that – It's rare. It exists, obviously. The top dogs. Like that – the SBF. I think that guy got caught up but then was just like, fuck it.

I'm just going to do this shit. I don't think he set out that way. But I think once he realized the snowball was – there's no stopping it, I think he was just like, fuck this. I think he's probably like, I got about six months left, so let's just fucking run this. Yeah, yeah. But that's where I think you can kind of get into some of the shitty – you fucking knew what was going on and you just said, I don't care. Yeah. Those are the ones that always shock me.

It's like if you get caught doing some shit, whatever, when you get caught doing some shit that is like it was inevitable you were going to get caught i guess i guess you reached the other side you said fucking i'm just gonna ride yeah rather than being like try to get ahead of it i wonder what would happen if that if that if the next time that was about to start if someone came out and like red flagged themselves and said like listen like it's about to happen like don't you know what i mean like don't i don't know halt my trading or whatever you know if that person would would still be vilified or if that first person would be like heralded i would guess vilified you think even if it was like a like it was just like a we were trying to do this thing and like if if you all if it's a run on my bank like we can't do it like if you

were lying the whole time yes yeah but if one of those things happened, one of those GameStop type things happened naturally where it's just like if we do this, the fucking economy is going to collapse. So I feel like you would almost get some sort of credit for not being like the other guys. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you would have your pass. You would get like a slap on the wrist instead of like a full sentence or whatever. Rent App is teaming up with Barstool HQ to give one of our producers a free month of rent. I swear to God, we do pay these people.

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That's a good movie. Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to watch this. I heard my boy Steve Cohen doesn't look so bad in it. No. No. I heard he was portrayed this way. No.

If you're going with the bad guys, it's – I guess I really – honestly, it's because it's still so above my head that I don't even understand what they were saying on their phone calls. Yeah. It is pretty complicated. It is. But that one was also like a natural occurring thing, right? That one guy figured it out and put it out on the internet.

I didn't realize that he's gone. What do you mean? Like he just peaced. He just took his money and bounced? They don't know. But again, because I think like there are legit like people who are like, that guy cost us like a billion dollars. Like, I can put a mark on that guy's back.

All I know, i did not know anything i mean obviously was aware of the story but i really didn't know anything until so everything i know i learned from the dramatization of it right um and he's definitely kind of an awkward weird guy i didn't i didn't realize he's from brockton mass like that's right down the street um and uh he he played it for like like a year right yeah he just kept being like i just like the stock yeah he said if you catch a wave like like he he put out that video like in 2020 whatever it was he was like this is this is gonna be a thing and it fucking was that's so sick it was like at one point he had 11 like

he he did not own his home he lived in brockton which is not a particularly great town it's very much like the town i'm from let it let it all ride, right? And the whole community was like, I'll sell when he sells. And he just kept being like, I like it. I'm going to keep it. It's one of the cooler down-to-ride stories. But he's kind of a dorky dude. He's obsessed with cats. I think his handle was Raging Kitty or something like that.

Roaring Kitty, maybe. And he just kept being like, I just like the stock. And again, he just did it in his basement. He had a wife and kid. And at like $11 million, it was people like, you should sell a little bit. And he's like, well, I just like it. And then at $23 million, he finally told his parents, by the way, I have $23 million. And they're like, what are you, an idiot?

Sell it. And then he was like, I like it. Did he end up – he lost it, right? No. The movie ends that he retired from public when he stopped doing his streaming, everything. When he retired from public life or whatever you want to call it, his net worth was $34 million. But they have no idea what he did with anything and he's just gone. So gangster.

Yeah. Dude, you know what made me feel old as fuck but so happy on the inside i saw an instagram post that i couldn't believe how they characterized it because in my mind everybody in the world knows who this is and but the headline was this man made 500 million dollars in social media on his social media site and then just dipped out and disappeared on the world. And it was Tom from MySpace. Oh, yeah. But it was like portrayed to like a Gen Z person as being like, here's this dude you don't even know about who caught half a billion and then bounced. And like how cool is that? And for the longest time, our generation was like MySpace failed and all that shit.

And it's like, yeah, failed to the tune of half a billion and he gets to live a normal life. So I'm so happy to see that article giving him praise like that, being like he's not – I still follow Tom. I follow Tom on Instagram. Is he active? Yeah. Not like crazy active, but he's a photographer now. And it's just like pictures of like beautiful places in like Asia. Nobody's ever done it better.

It's like never pictures of him. It's just like scenery or in Asia. Nobody's ever done it better. It's like never pictures of him. It's just like scenery or his girlfriend. You could honestly make the argument when you're talking about like financial success and shit like that. Nobody's ever done it better. Yeah. Like got in, did something that I'm sure was pretty cool. Like the height of MySpace was probably like dope parties and fucking hot chicks and celebrities and shit like that. Same thing with Facebook.

And then you make half a billion and you bounce before you're like standing before congress yeah before you have to decide who runs the world right influencing elections worrying about uh you know disinformation and protests and riots and racism and he's just like oh we just had this thing where like you could do html code and you had like you ranked your friends. That was great. I never was on MySpace, but it was like the salacious thing was like you could see who your best friends were and weren't. That was the problem in social media was are you in someone's top eight or not? And now the problem with social media is like it might ruin the whole world. Fucking insane. I definitely always thought of Tom as like that, like kind of like the whole world. Fucking insane.

I definitely always thought of Tom as like that, kind of like the guy you missed out until his Twitter reply. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His Twitter reply was someone was like coming from the guy who ran a failed social media site. Because he said something like everyone will worry about the Instagram terms of service is crazy. It's fine.

And someone was like coming from the guy who ran a failed media site. And he said, you replied, coming from the guy who sold his media site for 500 million dollars while you slave away hoping for half a day off yeah and i was like gangster that's right yeah he's the best at this i mean i don't know actually what the demise of myspace was it was for sure characterized as like a um vcr versus betamax yeah like facebook woman excuse me one and uh and myspace lost but and maybe it was in terms of like i'm sure tom wanted it to become a billion dollar thing right and it didn't and he just cashed out and maybe in the moment he was like fuck but i think in hindsight like i have half a billion and i just take pictures and shit i would love to does he do interviews i i i mean like we're we're talking

about all this while like kind of sitting in the same room as somebody like i mean i bet dave it could have been a billion dollars and he's like i have 500 million and now i don't have to like petition massachusetts for sponsorships like that i i don't know what his take on it is i don't imagine if i were him i'd be like this is nice yeah i think i remember dave saying uh when when the stock was ripping he was like i'm gonna be a billionaire and that's what he was talking about like potentially buying into franchises because i said something recently to him about like somebody went on sale somebody was somebody somebody some uh owner died or something like that and i was like dude you should buy this team whatever it was or a stadium or something like that and he was like nah i'm an m guy not a b

guy like i realize that now um but yeah you probably gotta you gotta really play the game and play it like probably pretty shittily to get some billions yeah all the shit we're just talking about you got you got to probably engage in some dark shit at least you know at least a little bit where at least you know about some of the shit going on that's like i'll turn a blind eye to some you You know, there's just nothing, nothing. You never hear, except for like Tom or like, you never hear about just like, this guy is like a hundred millionaire or a billionaire

and he just like kind of lives a nice life. It's always like. But like, I see, I disagree with that. Like, and I mean, you've sat on this couch with Mark Cuban sitting here. Like Cuban would, right? If anyone would know things in technology, like you think Cuban is out there killing people? No, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, they are out there. You're for sure right. I just feel like when you get a taste of a little bit of like the world's corruption and you're not even remotely close to like the top, it's like, oh, man, if some shitty stuff goes on here at my level can't even fathom what's going on at the top yeah so that's why i tend to believe when i hear something like the really bad things because i'm like there are people who are shitty here for you know for literally no reason just to be a fucking asshole so uh when there's billions of dollars on the line i could see it being... It's kind of funny that they just kind of accepted that Bill Clinton was at the

island all the time. But it doesn't matter. He still rolls wherever he wants, does whatever he wants. I defend the people who were on that plane. For not just... And I think it's an easy thing to defend because everyone was on that plane. I hang out with a lot of people. If people take me places, I go there with them. they didn't know. And I think it's an easy thing to defend because everyone was on that plane. Right. Like, I hang out with a lot of people.

If people take me places, I go there with them. I don't know everything they do. They just invited me on vacation. You know what's funny, though? They were playing clips of – I DMed with them a little bit. Our boy Jay Pharoah, a bunch of clips – not a bunch of clips of him. A bunch of clips started going viral, and he was one of them where he was talking to some young rapper and was like, don't go to that mansion.

Don't go to that. Take that. Take that mansion. Talking about Puffy. Oh, yeah. I heard some things go on there. Like, stay away from that young buck. And it was like years and years and years ago.

And it's like there are always those, like, I'm sure a lot of it you don't know, but there's always those, like, unspoken things, whether it's Harvey Weinstein or it sounds like Puffy was one of those guys, where it's like people do just know and just kind of get away with it. Dude, this is such a bad example, but I'm going to do it anyway. We have Shane on the show. Shane was in Amsterdam with us. Imagine if one day they were like, Bert had a sex trafficking rig in Europe. You're like, he just flew me out there for fun. I don't know, man. We just went to bars.

We would be on his payroll of flights. They bought us the tickets. I don't know. We went to bars. I did get a stiletto up my ass. Yo, that would be so fucking – you actually could construct a story. We should do this to Bert. We should leak a story that Burt is running a sex ring

That included Flying like two young men Out of New York To the city where they were then Two fairly high profile Bedia members Where they were like anally penetrated Against their will All the while and like there were other celebrities

In attendance who else was on the list? Kevin Conley For sure Yeah He just brought me on vacation I went on vacation celebrities in attendance who else is on the list kevin connor uh for sure yeah yeah like i was like i don't know he just brought me on vacation i went on vacation yeah that is true that is true but it does sound like one of those things where it's like it got to the point where you know i think there was probably plenty of people who like i am not going to be doing anything whichever it is that that one is a little bit funky because it is it is a uh it's an open secret i have a friend from the virgin islands and she's like we all knew and i um so there's no way that the clintons don't know yeah right

like i i i think i've told a certain story when i we we were in saint john's me and my family and we rented a boat and we were driving by little st james and the boat captain was like it's an american pedophiles island and And this was like, I was in college. So this was like 2010, maybe. Crazy. And like, it was just, it wasn't a secret. It was just known.

But again, not even an open secret. It was just like, it was known and it was talked about. So yeah, that's a special case. And that's the sort of shit where, like, I use Clinton as an example. I kind of do think the Clintons have like waxed some people.

So maybe they're not the right example. But there's probably other people who are like, I don't, I'm not as an example. I kind of do think the Clintons have like waxed some people, so maybe they're not the right example. But there's probably other people who are like, I don't – I'm not a pedophile. But that guy makes me money, and so I don't care what he does. I'm just going to ride with him. That's where it's like, I don't know. Can't you go get like another financial advisor, dude? Like can't you make $10-less million and not do it with an openly known pedophile? That's where people will just –

Well, that's also the thing with those – like when openly known benefit that's where people well that's also the thing with with those like when you get to that level of people like when you're talking about tens of millions of dollars it's not tens of millions of dollars like it's like when like you're talking like hundreds of dollars to me like i don't really care yeah you know what i mean like at that like and maybe it's just my personality but like when when that it's the same thing the exchange rate is the same. So I'm like I don't really care about it. You're saying we're not saying it, right? Like don't associate with them.

Yeah. Yeah. But like – and again, maybe it's just because it's how my brain works. It's how I think everyone else works. We're like I would just be like, oh, never mind. We're not doing it. It's not worth it. Like it's not worth a couple hundred bucks.

But also even the more – like all the more reason if – let's say it is like a billion dollars. It's like, well, if you're already playing in that that arena you probably have several hundred million yeah so why risk it you know why it's just there's really no level you can really justify it at but uh i don't know world's a fucked up place uh we do have shane torres on the show he he was in uh amsterdam with us great a great hang just to like you need you need a cast of characters on a show like that, on a trip like that, and we had it all. Bert was obviously the front man of the whole thing, and the cast of comedians he rolled with, Mark Smalls,

and Maddie Smith, Shane Torres. It was like, this is the Avengers to party with right now. It was definitely a good time. So he's back. First time on the show since, right? Yeah. Yeah, time. So he's back. First time on the show since, right? Yeah, first time on the show ever. First time on the show ever. Because I know we tried to do it a couple times and it never lined up.

So Shane's on the show. All right, let's do voicemails. Voicemails are presented to you by Pirate Water. I have the Irish accent for it, but whatever. You know what I mean. You know what it is. It is the drink for partiers and ragers. It was a drink created

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I just watched the stool scenes of the Halloween contest. And I think for a video or something, can fights be dressed up into drag? Because you enjoy that little Kim costume so fucking much. And I feel like this would be a beautiful living your truth moment. And I think you would have so much fucking fun with it. Number two, I've been starting going to the gym really regularly and a thing that i've been hating in the gym is everyone is taking off their fucking shoes to lift and i hate it i don't like it at all and i was doing bulgarian split squats and i sent it

to my friend who has her kinesiology degree and is a personal trainer. And she's like, you really need to take your shoes off for stability for your ankles. So have you ever hated something so much? And now you're like, I now have to be that person. And it's for me. I have to fucking take my shoes off in the gym to have stability for my fucking ankle. Anyways, Viva. All right right let's start with the first thing could you imagine if john was just like all of a sudden just like every month there's a cross dressing joke i'll do that i'll put on a dress again guys let's get those heels out again let's

you want to do my makeup this time can i i'll be honest content ideas for dancing like two weeks ago the the dancing i'm still – I want to do. But like to be – Josh is going to be dancing in a fucking dress. I was so incredibly uncomfortable. I have no plans on the horizon. Yeah, you tested it out and were like, never mind. I did not enjoy that. Well, you also weren't wearing things that fit you, right?

Well, it didn't fit and it was – I was – What was the worst part? Your dick? Was it your dick? Probably dick. My guess would have been the dick. The shoes, my feet would be my other guess of just sheer pain. No, those were fine because those were men's shoes.

They were like – My boots, that's right. They were like Blundies. I don't know, like bedazzled Blundies. I don't know where they came from. I know they Blundies. I don't know where they came from. I know they were my cousins. I don't know where he got them. But they – the rest, like I actually thought like there's nothing less sexy than getting sexy.

Yeah, it's like the strapping in. Just like delicately putting it on. Well, it's hard for you to feel like a bowling ball. When like a beautiful, like dainty little petite girl does it it's a lot better i feel like even then it's got it's so it's so um tedious yeah precise like it is very it's it was it was hard i i i genuinely did not enjoy it so that's not something you have to worry about i guess aside from this caller the rest of the world does not have to worry about me regularly doing that it was i did not enjoy like that

that was one where if i seemed like i was having fun i was acting very much but like that was one where i was like i am doing this for the con like i do not want to do this most of the stuff i do i want to do could have been fooled really you were enjoying yourself that smile on your face you were singing dancing it was that was that was all a show that was you get like 99.9 of the stuff i do i want to do that i was not but but again no i was unhappy about it right but i i knew it was like a little kid i i knew we're trying to get these videos going and i was like i do make a splash somehow to get it it was great a little interesting and uh i did that i did not want to do that i never told you this i've been meaning to call you or text you about this like a bunch.

Gaz came up to me when you were in Chicago. I was like, yo, is Fights here? And I was like, no, he's not. And he was like, oh, okay, let him know. Let me know when he's around. And I was like, okay. And he was like, I've got his $250 for him.

And I started laughing. And he was like, yeah, you know, we just decided to put it on like a gift card. Because we were like talking about should it be on his payroll. And then I didn't want to get hit with the taxes. So I just asked legal, can I just get like a $250 gift card and just give it to him like that. And they approved it. So like, and I was like, are you fucking real right now? This is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard in my fucking life you think he gives a shit about this dude i thought it was the

joke i thought he was saying like yeah where's your boy i got his 250 dollars and it was like when he walked me through talking to legal and you discussed this with people like you fucking loser i'll tell you what kevin uh that bought our lunches and it'll never be used again that's just i just he came i went over to ask jackie to get us lunch and nick was nick had it oh i saw her give back to you he was like oh by the way this is your $250 from whatever and i was like oh jackie just put it on that and then she brought it back and she was like she gave back i was like you can keep it and she's like no i'm not keeping it and then it was one of those it was a firm no i saw it happen so i was like i was like okay i gave back. I was like, you can keep it. And she's like, no, I'm not keeping it. And it was a firm no. Yeah, I saw it happen. So I was like, okay, I'll take it, but I'm never going to use that anymore.

It's like, do you think anybody can, like, I hate you so much, guys. That's exactly what I was talking about with the billionaires. It's $200. I don't fucking care. Don't care about $10 million if it's the same fucking transaction. As for the sneak of the shoe thing. I've heard talk of this. I had this in my years are changing thing, my blog, where, like, you're kind of getting older. As for the sneak of the shoe thing. I've heard talk of this.

I had this in my years are changing thing. My blog where you're kind of getting older. Kind of like you don't think pop culture exists anymore. What did he say? Are there any movie stars anymore? Jacob will already throw it on the list. I saw Salt Burn this weekend. I was driving home, hitting my steering wheel going, that's just a movie right there that's a movie he said picture earlier he goes what a picture what a motion picture that

was okay it was just like that's how you do people say go see salt people say oh the original things anymore they when they do they do do them you just don't go see it go see salt burn it's fucking great dude that really is the message to get out there don't learn anything about it just go see it the message to get out there for everything though it's like same thing we talk about merch only shitty merch like moves and it's like well then it's because you're not buying the nice merch yeah and and yeah there's no such thing as the comedy anymore because you guys don't fucking go see it and there's no such thing as like like internet content is like cheap and short form now because you stopped watching the long form but it's not to say that it does exist it all exists but you're

not you want to go consume it or not yeah you don't consume it and then when you don't consume it it doesn't it doesn't become a priority when it doesn't become a priority the best people don't do it it's like go fucking yeah and by the way we're speaking of salt burn like it's some indie film like it stars barry keegan and jacob lordy and rosamund pike like it's it's a big one it's a bit but it's like it's just not like a blockbuster yeah i think it's intentionally so the trailer is very vague it just seems like uh i never heard this until you talked about it's like a kind of a poor kid goes home with a crazy rich kid for the summer and it's just awesome it's awesome um but the shoe thing i said it in my my blog the time's getting older, whereas I say things like

I think I wrote, I say things like when did we start? When did we start taking our shoes off at the gym? Because next to the squat rack just looks like Auschwitz. It's just shoes. All over the place. It's insanity. People just walk around in their socks.

As for the ankle support, what I do on leg day is I just wear a pair of Sad Boy sneakers because then there's no cushion of an athletic shoe. So I'm splitting the difference. Wait, what's the problem here? It's just better like for ankle muscles and foot muscles and all that shit. To not have a shoe on. To not have like support because then you're actually using the muscles rather than... Okay, I get that.

But we're talking about... I was like, that's for... You're trying to become an Olympian and we need to make every single muscle fiber fire. You're going to get your fucking legs and your shit worked out. Do your three sets of 12 and you'll be fine. This girl does not need to work her kinesiology, whatever. It is. I just do it because I don't don't know just buy my pile of

shoes and i just put on the like either chucks or something like that for when i do squats and shit but like just wear sneakers it's fucking fine that's good i have no literally eat rotten food and wear sneakers it's fine it's fucking fine dude it's not gonna make a lick of difference what's it you have another thing that you uh like another example of that for her though what when you become the person that's like fuck i guess i'll just be the person who like i have to either take my shoes off or be the asshole um no no no i mean uh at the gym i guess i i said this last time where I guess I grunt a bit. I don't think that's crazy. The gym is being like, you can't grunt.

I'm not a screamer, but I'm like, yeah, I'll make some noise. I also don't wipe down machines, deal with it. I don't think you're a sweater, though. I'm not, yeah. There are some people who they need to wipe down. Yeah, if I leave a puddle, I'll clean it up. But I also love that, like, okay, now it's good.

Now, like, as long as I'm not sitting in an actual full puddle, I'm happy. Like, that's the bar. Yeah, if I was a crazy sweaty person, yes, I'd do it out of embarrassment rather than, like, cleanliness. But, like, no, when I'm done with the machine, it's... I'm sure there are things things i just can't think of them i i guarantee there are things that i'm like not on board with anymore that either i will continue to not be on board with and be the old

man or i'll be like fucking fine i'll conform i hate it i just can't think of them but i'll they'll come to me and i'll say them as as they do as they pop up. Oh, you're not talking strictly just Jim? Yeah, she's just saying like anything where you feel like you're the old person. Yeah, yeah, in most things now. It's crazy how it happens. Yeah. Like it really is pretty natural. Like I genuinely thought I was always going to be like – I would always move with the times.

I think there really was something about – I do believe there's something with our era and the internet and the music we listen to and the movies we watch and stuff where it was like – it was just inherently cool things. I think this should be cool and we'll be on the internet doing all this shit forever. But even that stuff becomes lame. It's just whatever you know the old generation does is a lame thing i've also convinced myself that i am still with the times and just the times are different like like like that's literally the principal skinner uh meme is it all the children that are wrong right it's not me that it's out of touch but like children it's them i i think that if i were to do the other things to keep up with the times like i've kind of crossed over where it's like then it's it's kind of like i'm trying to hang on yeah yeah yeah so like i i i think i'm

just aging appropriately where it's like oh totally like i'm not like i'm like i'm not like fuck i'll come for i'll do it i i'm just like i i think it's i i with the things i do where i'm not like i'm like i'm not like fuck i'll come from i'll do it i'm just like i i think it's i i with the things i do where i'm accepting that i'm the old man i'm not like really kind of being like i know this is good for me and i'm not doing it because it's what young people do right like i'm like young people do that and that's fine but that's just not where I – My life, I liken it to – like if I'm at a family party and there's young kids there, I will like – I'll take a beer pong shot and be like – in my day, I used to run this table. And then be like, you kids have fun. I'm going to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go drink wine on the porch. I'm going to try to hang out and play beer pong with you because I know you don't want me to. And in my head, I'm like, I think I'm pretty cool and I could hang with these kids. But they probably – but I'm probably wrong. So just like pop in, say hello, experience it for a second, and then be like, I'm out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't be the guy who hangs on too long. But don't be the guy who doesn't like show up at all ever.

I don't know. There's probably some happy medium. Like the conforming thing, like you could make the argument with like – they were just talking about with TikTok and they were checking all our stuff to make sure we're promoted. I did zero promotion on TikTok. I don't have – I have a TikTok I think but like I don't – Yeah. If they come to me and say like your TikTok production is not where it needs to be, I'm going to say I don't care.

And it's never going to be. Right. But that's like – that should be okay. Like there needs to be – the world still needs to be like I don't – you do that. I don't. The need – the vibe of like I have to do everything, I think we will get away from that. When there was only a couple things to do, it was like you could write in newspapers. You could do a movie.

You could do a TV show. There's like four things to do. You could do it all. You can't do it all though. You really can't and you shouldn't and you shouldn't try it's that's kind of how i feel when you talk about like the like like clothes stuff i'm like there are enough fake experts like i don't know what i'm talking about they don't like i don't i i do sit on the couch talking i don't want to yeah yeah make it official i try and and part of be honest i'm sure part of it is because i'm scared I'd fail at it.

Yeah. But, like, also, like, I don't think. You don't need another person like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's all, everything's watered down enough. Because the internet ruined everything. Go buy a sweatshirt.

Buy the fucking sweatshirt. It's one of the coolest sweatshirts ever. It is a very cool sweatshirt. It really is. It's a great sweatshirt. It's doing fine. It's a great logo. I thought it was going to do better.

Like everything else. I'm like, I thought that was going to do better. Yeah. Motherfucker. It's actually, it's crazy. Like, still my biggest seller, Sad Boys. Just like the original Sad Boys. Yeah.

Doing great. It's cool. I like it. I'm glad everyone likes it. This one's cooler. Yeah. Right. Right.

What's up, everybody? I got a proposition or a PSA for the fellow voicemail leavers. How about we all disagree to park first and then leave the voicemail? That way we're not hearing the sound of each other's engines rumbling while we're trying to enjoy an audio podcast. And then also safety. We don't want to die leaving a voicemail for KFC Radio. I would love that dude That's not good for anyone Would fucking love the National Highway Society

Let's just park, then leave the voicemail Hold that thought, park, leave the voicemail If we can remember that Press pause real quick I also think we can agree Oh that's the whole thing I also think we can agree You don't need to say hello to all of us.

I like it. You like all of that? Yeah. It's like if we added up all the seconds of just, hi, KFC, Feidelberg, Nick, Packy, Packy, Jazz. We would get, you know, an hour back. Dude, the. It probably is annoying if you're doing audio, though. And it's like.

Yeah. the uh it probably is annoying if you're doing audio though it's like yeah the um he talked about getting an accident reminds me of one of my favorite stories my buddy was driving uh i think it's after st patrick's day he was driving and got in a car accident and flipped his car while he was buttering a Dunkin' Donuts bagel. And it was in the morning, and he'd been out late last night, and the cops were like, you drinking last night? And he was just like, yeah. Because he knew he'd passed the test, but didn't want to say what he was actually doing.

He took the alcohol? He's like, I know I'll pass the test, so I'm fine. So he's like, yeah, a bit of a late night, because he didn't want to say he was trying to put it in. I was buttering a bagel. That's fucking hilarious. He made a DUI. He knew he wouldn't get a DUI.

But in the moment, they were bring him in He feels the bride And So instead there was like This guy's just like a hungover asshole Not a fucking Buttering bagel asshole He's like I was looking through the car making sure you couldn't still see the butter wrappers And things like that

Driving with his knees trying to butter a bagel They should not let us drive cars they really shouldn't dude they really really shouldn't the amount of people it's it's like one of the craziest things you talk about aliens and shit i feel like they're gonna come down and be like all of the people operate heavy machinery yeah all the time like you guys just allow that and it's and it's not like it's like well it works it's like no like like it's the biggest like like, killer in the country. Yeah, yeah.

Tens of thousands of people die every year on the road. And we're like, well, we just got to do it. I can never find the tweet, but it was nice to see that tweet where, like, explain to your grandkids, like, you guys used to drive, you used to have to drive your own cars? Like, yeah, we loved it. Like, why did you love it? You couldn't drink or watch movies or read books or shave or put on makeup or anything?

No, no. We did all that. You did all that and people died? Didn't die? Oh, no. People died all the time. Simply the most. The most.

Literally, until the guns really took the control, it was the number one killer of children. All of the number one. It's now number two. I believe this year is the first year guns have surpassed it. Wow. But it was the number one killer of children. It's like guns, cars, alcohol. All the things we choose to do.

Crazy. All right, last one. Here's a question, and it's a deeper question. Have you heard? Have you heard? Have you heard? Have you heard that recently the West Coast legend himself, Snoop Dogg, announced that he is done with smoke? It's over.

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Snoop in going smokeless for good. Fights, this one's for you. The Lions were just down by 12th in the fourth quarter with less than two minutes remaining. And they ended up winning 31-26. My question is, how are you not an NFL head coach yet?

I know, that's crazy. Dude, I mean, but, you know, that was a little bit ago because the Lions got smoked on Thanksgiving, unfortunately. I'm adopting the Lions. I love them. But, bro, it's every time I see it. It's not even one of those things where I was like, it's probably like confirmation bias. There's probably plenty of times where teams just go three and out and the game's just fucking over.

At the very least, it's like two first downs and the announcer's like, here we go. They don't always score. But it's like, oh, this team hasn't crossed midfield all day. And then they go hurry up, no huddle, and it works every time for like, oh, 30-yard pass. Oh, another 10 yards. And maybe they score, maybe they don't, but it worked considerably better than whenever they were running the previous 58 minutes. It's fucking insanity. I got to scroll through some Black Friday promo here, but I want to find

the exact quote, because it was from one of the Thanksgiving games, whichever one Greg Olson called. And it got closed towards the end, kind of deal. And Greg Olson said, where is it here? Give me two seconds, sorry.

God, I play around Black Friday a lot. Good for me. Company bear. Here it is. So whatever game Olsen called towards the end of the game

when they had scored and they had the ball again, Greg Olson said, they've come alive in these no huddle situations, just have to wonder if it's too little too late. And I said, do you know what guarantees it's not too little too late? No huddle the whole game! Doing it in the first fucking quarter.

No, no huddle the whole game. Bro, I at least want somebody to try it. One of these Chip Kellys, or when the guys coming in, they're like, he's revolutionizing the game or whatever. One of those coaches who comes in with a new style of play. Just try it. And maybe it'll turn out that it's not sustainable.

Maybe it'll turn out that defenses can play it in a different way if they're not worried about the end zone. I don't know. Whatever the fuck it is. Try it. But just go muddle h it. These guys just play. You just go muddle huddle and just fucking like you get a quick breather or whatever. But it's also – and again, I'm always just thinking back to how the Patriots did it.

You're very rarely – I would think if fitness level is an issue, the issue would be with the offensive line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In that fucking no huddle you're rarely back there for like seven seconds you're going you're like two step fucking three step drops fucking it's out of your hand in two and a half seconds also it's a fitness level for everybody too it's like you know you're getting tired they're getting tired if you have if everyone's on the move you know what i mean it's like i would think i know it's a totally

different sport but like imagine if every possession in basketball you like stopped and set a play and then it's like okay ready let's do it it's like you just fucking which is how they used to do it it was like he was like just go like this guy he'll run like you know that time

those two guys ran like the same route cause whatever but like more often than not it's like let these fucking world class athletes just fucking sling it and run it and jump it go it's it's the uh another again it's a different sport but like that was the 1980 team's game plan against russia was like we're just gonna be in better shape right like we're gonna we're just gonna be on them and on them and on them and on them. Again. Again. They fucking just bag skated every single day.

Like it was just we're in better shape. Just get in better shape. Yeah. And run the whole time. Right. Which sucks dick, but like. What I'm describing is rugby. Play rugby.

It's true. It really is true though. Instead of football, do rugby and see what the football team has to say about it. Right. And, like, your brains probably won't be as mashed in. Everyone will score. It'll be fun. I would imagine, though, if you're an offensive line, you're like, I can't keep up with this. Like, the defensive line is like, I'm fucking tired, too.

Yeah, yeah. Like, eventually, I mean, it kind of all things even out, you would imagine. But – or let's have, like, line shifts. Yeah. You know, like you have two offensive lines. You can have 106 guys on a team now. And you're shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop. Let these guys fucking sling it.

It would be awesome. I don't know. Look, I'm not going to pretend that I don't think the other guys are smarter than me. There's a reason they're doing it. But every time they do it, they score. I've always said that. It's in the beginning. It's like when you're doing it. I've always said that. But every time they do it, they score. I've always said that. It's in the beginning. It's like when you're watching football when you're first watching as a kid.

You're like, why do they just run it up the middle into each other all the time? It's like you kind of learn. Oh, you're just trying to set it up for second down. But then some of these things, it's like, I don't know. But then you learn things like establish the run is not true. A play- action fake works no matter what that like like the numbers have now proven that like the safety will bite every time because you're telling them you're gonna run right it doesn't matter if the run game is working or

not you're telling you're you're telling him on that play i'm running the ball so yeah he's gonna pause for a second the play action works no matter whether the run's established or not you know i think it is funny that i was watching people pick apart Zach Wilson. And it's pretty cool sometimes watching somebody be like, you see this safety right here? Like he went from here to there just because like Zach Wilson stared a little too long. And that's like he's there to make a pick because he was one step closer. So like little things like that I can understand that matter. But for the most part, if you just go go go go go go that you know that is only because you set up and you

stopped and everyone had a chance to look and think and that's why that guy was able to do that just fucking go it is great like football is one of those games and it is every game but football in particular where you can see like the little that mattered. We kind of talked about it last episode. I'm getting better at learning. I was always good enough at sports that I didn't have to really know. Yeah, just do it. Now I'm better at it. I know more.

I can't do it anymore, but I kind of see more. Oh, for sure. The people that put it all together. I was that sweet spot of talent where it's like, he's good enough that he can just do this. He's not good enough that he needs to know how to do it. Right, right, right. We're not going to lose sleep over it.

We don't need to teach him why he's doing these things. He can just do them, and it'll be fine. But in the Giants game, opening drive of the Giants, there was a pass where I was talking about it with my dad. We were watching. And it was like they caught the ball. It was probably like a 15-yard gain or something like that. But the ball was behind the receiver, and he caught it,

but it contorted his body so much that he fell and, like, ended up going out of bounds. They ended up not converting on that drive. And we were watching. We were like,ady puts that ball right on this nipple takes it and it's seven yeah and it's like yeah you don't really think about that until you're watching it with that eye you're like that's seven points off the board right there right right it's not just like that drive in this game in that game seven points on the board

mattered quite a bit a lot yeah yeah that's that's that's the stuff that you know that you know like the things that the brady's and Mannings and all this guy do. But they don't appreciate the little things. Brady had that – obviously his thing the other day about how football stinks now, which is so funny. Because I actually think – I think Brady's had a mixed reaction to it I think. But I don't like it. What was his quote again? He was just like, it's a lot of mediocre football, which he said when he was playing.

He said that as like a buccaneer. He's like, it's a lot of mediocre football which he said when he was playing yeah he said that as like a buccaneer he's like there's a lot of mediocre football out there um and i i i thought that people might make the comparison to like the guys in basketball who i feel like i feel like basketball they talk about the old heads a lot and how they hate the new game and blah blah i didn't think brady was doing that because I don't think people are entertained. Like in basketball, people are like, we like threes. This is fun. Yeah. Whereas like –

Oh, I mean, football is like the only sport really. Baseball a little bit too. Maybe it's the white guy sports. Where it's like you long for the old days. Yeah. You know, like everybody else is like this is awesome that these guys can all shoot threes. They're all high flyers. They're all – you they're all you know i thought that hockey's probably that too like it's well i think i think hockey's the best it's ever been right right so like you know football

like is i i i thought whereas when when when chuck and shack are like my day blah blah the fans like we're kind of loving this. I'm obviously not that into basketball. I guess I wouldn't know. Paz, what do you think? I feel like old heads... I mean, there are still people who will argue Jordan over LeBron, whereas no one's making that argument.

In every other sport, it's moving. I think it's more to the entertainment of the game itself rather than the grades. There are people who will be like I miss like hard-nosed

basketball but I guess for the most part people will love it like the Steph Curry Splash Brothers type shit yeah yeah yeah

you're right but with football like I don't I don't think that maybe it's just my timeline but I know every Sunday

my timeline is just like this shit sucks an onslaught of this sucks yeah and you would think it would just

like basketball like it should just there should be like a bunch of the homes is out there yeah like grew up playing this but i guess not i don't know but brady was like you know basically saying it's mediocre and and then listing the reasons why where he was talking about how they don't practice as much anymore that obviously shows up in the game he was talking about how defensive penalties have taken have made football quarterbacks not need to be as skilled because they don't need to protect their own players he's talking about how right the flags on defensive players are like like it's like it's not a defenseman's job to protect protect you right it's your job to protect you right right they're supposed to hit you. But then all that led to a thread of just like,

this is what Brady's talking about. And it was just balls where it's just like it's the same kind of thing where you look at it and you might be like, oh, Brady underthrew that. And it's like, no, he didn't underthrow this. He saw the free safety coming. That's the only spot he could put it without. It's because Edelman quote tweeted and said,

thank you for your service, Tom. And it was like, watch how Edelman's safe here. And it was like, boom. It's like, watch how Edelman's safe here. Because Edelman just catch every ball right here. Every ball Edelman would catch and then fall to the ground. Because everything was over the middle. It popped.

It's like, damn, that is fucking cool that he was putting it on his right ankle. Yeah, like the exact fucking spot. When I throw a football, I'm aiming for your chest. He's like, I think it was Brady who said, I don't aim for your chest. I aim for a nipple. And he probably just practiced enough that he could fucking do that. I also think football is just a – it's just a ridiculous sport. It's just –

I honestly just think it's too hard. I was going to say, like, it's too hard and it's too, like, violent. Like, those guys, I think, were the peak of it where the defensive guys were lighting people up, the offensive guys were skilled enough to like survive it. And then it gets to the point where it's like, I don't know, you guys were crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy for doing it. We're not going to do like, you know, fucking three a days,

and we're not going to do this. We're not going to do that. And like so the product's down a little bit, but we're going to like be able to live. So sorry, assholes, sitting at home home complaining that they're not scoring enough points. It is crazy how little points get scored now. They should just loosen the rules again. I just think that's – let it rip. I don't really care.

Do you care if it's how hard it is for them to score? No, you just want to see them score. If they change some sort of rule that corners can only do this much for this many yards or blah, blah, blah, I don't fucking care. Let's go. Throw Hail Marys and shit. By the way, that Hail Mary for the Jets was just – I didn't see that line myself.

Bro, I was watching on – my Hulu is, like, far behind. I finally gave in on the Hulu for sports, like, recently, two years ago. And I was like – I used to be like I needed to be up to the second. Then I was like, no, I don't. Who cares? And now I'm like a full play behind. Which is so not a big deal. I know.

But in this case, my phone blew up. But they were all vague. It was like holy fucking shit. Did I just see that? I can't believe that. It wasn't like we did it again sort of thing so i'm thinking we it's gonna be hail mary like we're gonna fucking score here because like what could really be so you know so i grabbed my phone being like okay like hang on i'm basically

doing like a jersey jerry like all right let me get it out because i'm gonna react and but then i did have a reaction of like that that was it that was the fucking thing i mean that is it was very funny to watch guys take a and i know it's like you're basically your offensive player but like taking a bad angle on a guy for like a hundred yards like you had like 80 yards to close in on this guy right and you just totally botch it it was just like did the exact come up with new ways every time the exact opposite of that the i believe it was ben watson 80 yard chase down yeah in in denver it was dope whereas like at the one which i believe they didn't score on yeah just like that shit that is some gangster shit right there too that's the one of the most embarrassing things i think is being like the the guy who gets caught like that.

Oh, brutal. All right. Let's get to our interview with Shane Torres. Very funny guy on KC Radio. We are back with our gang over at 3C. Of all the things in life, one of the best has to be getting high. I say this all the time. I'm like, John, how's life?

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Yeah, that was fine. Yeah. I don't know. Whatever. I don't know. Whatever. Yeah, fucking same. Yeah.

I mean, it's one of those things as you get older, I'm like, we're doing this again, huh? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like. Yeah, there's one of those things as you get older, I'm like, we're doing this again, huh? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like. Yeah, there's a little bit of like. I didn't do it this year. Like, I.

What did you do? Protest. Like, kind of, yeah. I was just like. As an ally to the First Nation. You finally decided. It is Happy Indigenous Day, right? Indigenous People's Day.

Is it today? Isn't that Come On Miss Day? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. Yeah. But the – I was home Friday night. I got home Friday night, I think.

And my parents were just like, how's things? And I was like, good. And I was like, I'm just tired. You went home the day after Thanksgiving? Whatever. Wednesday night. Wednesday night. Okay.

I was like, that's a cold – I'm coming. Even better. Even better than that. Last year, we replayed the clip from last year's podcast. Last year, he got invited to his family's Thanksgiving. Which, like, on the surface, the fact that you had to, like, they called him and were like, hey, you can come. No, they sent me a letter. They sent you a letter?

They sent me a letter in the mail. Like a cease and desist? And it was like like it's one thing if like your aunt and uncle invites you where it's like oh you don't usually do it was his mom and yeah yeah like or like oh well he's not going all the way up there but we're in this town yeah i guess you don't have your own family yet so i am i've been talking about that all week, dude. It's getting to the point where I can't do the friend of a friend thing

much longer. It's gonna be... Like, at a holiday, dude, it's just like, who's that? It's like, well, that's Bill's friend. But you guys are on the road and everything so much, too, right? Yeah. Come on. I mean, I can still, like, you know, it's not like there's a ton of people at Cracker's Comedy Club on Thanksgiving.

True, true, true. Yeah. I'm more like – I mean, it all depends on like do you like your family, you know? Yeah. And I have family members that I like and then – and not even dislike. It's just like there are certain family members I don't really see. But then for me, with the family members I like, I'm like, what? We don't have to do this whole

thing you're gonna you're gonna cook this bird for 20 hours and you're gonna do this and then the same five of us are gonna sit around let's just have a sandwich and watch a movie you know whatever it's like you know it's i feel weird like not like how much i should say hi to people and talk to them at thanksgiving when i don't know it's like the same way like when i go to a comedy festival when i see somebody i like but I don't know that well. Like, how are you? I saw the thing. And then like the third day, I'm just like, hey, we're out of stuff.

We don't have this relationship anymore. We're done here. So we had our family Thanksgiving and that was fine. A couple of relatives came over. You're from up in Mass? Yeah. Yeah. And then like the next, like every day there was something.

And I was like, I'm just not doing the other things i didn't like like there were like other media other houses had like it was a whole weekend it wasn't like so i was like i'll do the meal and then i'm not going to other things and i just what are the other things just like like like for dessert you go for this no no like on saturday we all like the town my parents are from or live in now like has a brewery that's very popular. So, like, the other side of the family came from other parts of the state, and we just went to the brewery and just had some beers. And I was like, I'm not going to that.

Like, I'm tired. I respect it, bro. I think you got to do one of those, maybe. If there's, like, three extra things. My point remains, like, how long are we going to do it? Next year, he's got to do everything. Like, eventually, you just, like,

slowly wean it off, and it's like... And then, you know? Next year, he's got to do everything. Eventually, you slowly wean it off. And then, you know what's bullshit? You're either you love it, and so who cares? There are people who love to cook and host and all that, and they're happy. And then there are the assholes in the family, and they just go, Uncle Jim's not coming. He's never coming. And he gets a free pass.

And so it's better to just be like, fuck you. You know? I'm at like, I remember growing up, there was like our uncle, who like is my favorite uncle, cool uncle, who kind of just came and went as he pleased. Yes. Leave the door open like a dog. Because he was like 35 and single and just did his own thing. And that's what I am now. Yep.

And so like. It's not that bad. It's really not that bad. As long as you're cool with it. Like it, yeah, that's the only problem I'm having. Listen,

if you, you know, if, if, you know, I'm sure it's, as a guy, it's a lot easier to,

if you're older, when you're a woman and you wanted to have a family and marry, you're not, that kind of sucks. I've never heard of that before. I have like, but my family too, is that Thanksgiving is not bad. Christmas is bad where it's like, never heard that before. I have, like, but my family, too, is that Thanksgiving's not bad. Christmas is bad, where it's like,

they still get me gifts. I'm from a big family. Is that rough for you? Yeah, like, they're not trying, it's not like a good gift, and it's like, oh, he doesn't have a family, and, like, he's still... You think you're gonna get you a wife?

He's still a kid, right? Because I don't have a family, I'm still thought of as one of the get you a wife? He's still a kid, right? Like, because I don't have a family, I'm still thought of as like one of the kids. Yeah, we gotta get him a pile of, you gotta have his own pile

of presents. And I was like, dude, I'm not, I'm not one of the 10 year olds. You don't need to get me like a pair of socks or like a Best Buy gift card.

Especially, just leave me out. I'm fine. There's kids in the family too. I feel left out all the time. Really? Yeah. I feel like,

I feel like it's like, it's almost insulting. Like, I'm being patronized. I'm not a kid. I have a job. I make money. I don't need a present. Like, again, it's not... If they're putting in thought and, like, getting me this great gift, sure, that's very nice. But you don't have to, like... I'm not an add-on. You don't have to get me something.

Like, I'm fine. For sure, yes. But, like, everyone's getting... Like, my family... Like, I just have brothers. Like, everyone else is tick the bucket. So my brothers are like, I go home every year. They're still in Texas. And it costs me like two grand to get home and then all this shit. And this year I was like, I don't think I'm going.

I was like, I don't think I'm coming back next year. It was the first year they got me Christmas gifts. Because I think nothing happens if I don't show up. I think they'll forget it's Christmas. Yeah, that's kind of what I mean. If it's a burden, it's expensive, it's a problem. It's an effort. And it's for basically your buddies. Your brothers.

Last night I was coming home. I took a 6 o'clock train last night. And it was that coming home. I was like, I'm getting close to done with this because like dude I got on a train oh it's the worst time

to travel oh it's fucking hell this woman's dog just yapping the whole thing like it's a beating

like it's a real slog travel like through the it's fucking no joke I'd never seen anything like it like the dog was like she wasn't even

attempting to calm it down I was like what the fuck are we doing here I hate that. I hate that. People are the least considerate they've ever been in, like, travel. Yeah.

Everybody's, you're everybody else's problem. I was in the fucking airport yesterday in Madison. I was leaving the club, and it's a tiny airport, so it's easy to get through. But I go to, like, the one, like, little food court food court area and there's one coffee shop and no one is there and the woman who's running is just like i'm on break and she's just sitting there on her phone oh my god and i was like she's like the next person will be here i was like this is fucking chaos like she goes you could she literally goes you can take a water if you want that yeah i don't want a water but I want coffee. But it was like, she was like, she wasn't getting up,

but she saw how shitty it was. Dude. So steal a bottle of Evian or whatever. I almost respect that level of asshole. We were in the airport recently. We were in Boston

and we had landed and I went to go grab a water and it was like, you know, everything like self-checkout now. Yeah. And the woman who was working there

was just sitting on the scan machine so i had to ask her to move to do so i could scan my own checkout and then it asked me for a tip and i was like yeah like i i like she was just sitting around in front i was like excuse me real quick and she was like just leaning on the thing she's get up move around i scan it's like 20 25 or 30 it's like fuck off 25 i don 30%. It's like, fuck off, 25%. I don't... The tipping thing is getting a little weird to me. Have you guys talked about it on here before? Not really.

Not necessarily, but, you know, just everything. Like, if I'm just buying a fucking can from you and they spin the iPad around and there's just levels of tipping. I kind of get, like, everyone's doing it, so it just happens. I guess. But even the percentages. Like, I used to take a cab somewhere, this was back in the old fucking dark ages

when we had cash and stuff, but if you drove me five blocks, ten blocks, twenty blocks, whatever, you paid, and you give me, like, a $2 tip, right? Now, the other day, I get a ride from the airport, and they do, like, 25% of, like, $180. $200.

I'll give you like a 75 what's going on right now yeah you just drove me somewhere i paid your phone bill right yeah i mean that is not just a lot the only thing i really give a fuck about is when they don't do like even if somebody's fast like if they're like even if it's just to get you a bottle of water and they ask it asks you i'll fucking get my dog if they're just doing the job. Yeah. But I just hate it when it's like, did I fucking start some kind of blood atonement because I came into your coffee shop and asked you for a fucking,

what I'm doing is not insane. Yeah, asking for some hard to make thing. Yeah, or just even just like, can I have an Americano? Like, oh, fucking Christ. Even the way that Se like that like seamless and those other uh apps do it now where it's like i tip before you even get here you have no incentive to even bring me the fucking real you could just walk away with it you know it's like a my buddy

told me a good hack is like he calls the restaurant he wants to order from to see if they have their own delivery driver so you don't use seamless and you don't pay the fee but that's very smart yeah you save a few bucks of effort though the same two phone calls is a lot of fucking i ordered one order of wings uh wedges like potato wedges and a dessert it was 73 dollars yeah and that made me i was like i was like i'm doing it i will still do it right now because I really wanted it. But I was like – I must have hit like times three or something like that. Nope. Yeah.

I've been on a wing kick. 70. Not nearly as good. 73 bucks. It was crazy. I didn't even want to look at like where, how that ended up. I spent $100 at Remedy Diner the other night. Bro, in my day, if I spent $100 at a diner, I'm like buying the place out.

We are the oldest men who have ever fucking lived the shit we're bitching about right now. Oh, what a fuck. Good old diners. Dude, the diner we used to go to, the Mirage Diner, had a smoking section until like 2017. That's the best. Big glass encased room and it was just like a cancer room. It was awesome. I mean, it was terrible, but it was awesome.

My buddy has an after-hours gambling hall, and everybody smokes and drinks, and you're just playing craps and shit. And I was like, I just liked being in a smoky, shitty bar. I got out there at sunrise or something, and it was like, I smelled like cigarettes. just liked being in a smoky shitty bar like like like of all the stuff like and you know we i got out there at sunrise or something and it was like i smelled like cigarettes i was like this is fucking great the next day i was just like like my sheets smelled like well you know what it is when there is a smoking inside place everyone smokes like four times as much as they yes so it's not even it's not like it used to be because people would oh maybe i'll smoke a cigarette maybe

i won't now it's like, I gotta. I'm going to chain smoke for the next four hours. And you also don't have to fucking put any effort into it outside of getting it out. And you don't have to go outside or anything, which is fucking nice, too. I actually always was jealous of the smoke break. They're still around in Houston, right? I'm sorry, in Texas? Maybe some spots.

I feel like when we were in the Super Bowl in Houston, there were like... Yeah, maybe some spots. Like going outside to smoke. It could be county to county, too. I don't really fucking know. Yeah. I feel like when we were in the Super Bowl in Houston, there were like... Yeah, maybe some spots. Like going outside to smoke. It could be county to county, too. I don't really fucking know. In Chicago, there's one called Richards, and it is... Awesome. It's pollution.

It's pollution. You walk out, your eyes are just... It's like Kevin was saying. People go there to smoke. It's not like you're at a bar and you might have a cigarette. I'm going to go smoke. Smoke inside. Maybe I'll have a beer.

Yeah. Like, cigar rooms are still a thing, though, right? Or no? Yeah. So cigarettes can't be a cigar. Yeah, you can tell you have a cigar. But they have, like, ventilation and shit like that. Right, right, right.

You got to sit in it. People really hate that shit. Yeah. Yeah, like, if you're tall enough, you can, like, you can see the smoke. Yeah. I just miss doing that. I don't even want to smoke anymore, but I just miss doing that a lot. There is a sense of... Like, I just miss doing that a lot There is

Like I miss that it was a thing Yeah I think it's a You know a nostalgia thing Yeah An association thing I mean I bartended When they came Life was good

When I was doing this Yeah When I lived in Oregon When I lived in Portland They outlawed it While I was still bartending At a great dive bar And then I remember

Like I had to like It was kind of sad I had to throw out like And everybody smoked And everybody drank It was like the sh a great dive bar. And then I remember, like, I had to, like, it was kind of sad. I had to throw out, like, and everybody smoked and everybody drank. It was, like, the shittiest dive bar. And I had to throw out all the ashtrays on January 1st because it wouldn't end. Yeah, and I was just, like, just, it was kind of sad. I was a little nostalgic.

You know what I love is the vending machines. Oh, that's the fucking best. I like how we went from, you know, how old we are to love is the vending machines. Oh, that's the fucking best. I like how we went from how old we are to talking about cigarette vending machines. That's something like the 60s. How long were you in Oregon for? 10 years. Oh, really? Yeah, I was there for 10 years.

I left there almost 20 years ago. Where are you now? I'm here. I'm in Brooklyn. I'm in Bushwick. That's right. Which is filled with 20-year-olds. It's not my favorite. I got a pandemic deal, and I was closer in.

I think Bushwick would have been for you a different generation ago. Yeah, when I was supposed to be in Bushwick. Yeah, yeah. When you were in Portland. Yeah, yeah. When Bushwick was Bushwick, you were in Portland. Bushwick West, yeah. And now that you're in Bushwick, you're in Portland again. I yeah. Yeah, yeah. When Bushwick was Bushwick, you were in Portland. And now that you're in Bushwick, you're in Portland again. I know.

It's never fucking leaving. Where are you guys at? I'm in Westchester, so I'm in, like, the burbs of New York. Yeah. I'm not too far from here. Good for you. Yeah. Yeah, Manhattan is – I say that, you know, if you're not partying in Manhattan, it's kind of crazy to pay the like the premium yeah but it's really the premium of like convenience that like when we go on the road i don't know how you guys do it all the time we go on the road like once a month if

that and for those three four days when we want to have dinner past like 8 p.m you're shit out of luck and like all of these cities when you want to go somewhere you guys going but let me just like you can get fast food you Yeah, there's not like. But just, yeah, like hotel bars are closed. You're not going to find a. And regular restaurants are closed. Yeah, like there's a shit, like, you're like, you're amazed that everything's done by 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, it is. Or you have to go out to like. It is a ghost town. A strip mall, like Irish pub. Right, yeah. I wanted to just go to like a CVS or a 7-Eleven To get shit behind the counter Nothing Pittsburgh was a pretty big

It's a functioning city And I went to three CVS's Two 7-Elevens Locked up It was late, but this is when these things are You need this When you're in a jam It's crazy

Pittsburgh is awesome Pittsburgh is And I cleveland on it too where you're like i didn't know it was pretty here yeah it's kind of yeah cleveland's fucking gross honestly yeah we were also like on campus in cleveland right no you know that's columbus cleveland i didn't go with you cleveland oh right right right there for a br game. But the... I was like, oh, he was on the water. Basically, if you're by the water, I'm like, this is cool. Even if it's caught on fire.

We were on the road together. No, we were not on the road. We were on a magic carpet ride. That was fucking wild. I love being a part of something that I can truly say is once in a lifetime. Once in like a humanity type trip.

Like I can't, we're never going to run into somebody else who did that, I don't think. Unless he does it with somebody else again. Yeah, I could see him doing that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we've talked about trying to run it back. The magic will never be recaptured. We could do it again. I think we've talked about doing it for.

I mean, if he just did it to you again. Like, did it to you. Flew you to fucking Amsterdam. Like, did it to you. But it's just like things like that. That was like a movie thing where it's like, you know. That place is so fun. Had you guys been there before?

No, I haven't. I went back the next month. Yeah, I'm going back next month. Yeah? Yeah. This man got a high heel stuck up his ass and then put it in his mouth and then went back there with his mother a month later. Jesus.

We didn't hit Banana Bar. Did I miss that? No, you were front and center. No, I was at Banana Bar. I was at Banana Bar maybe more than anyone. Yeah, yeah. She didn't give me a fucking punch card. She was fucking – she was wailing on him with the belts.

Oh, I do remember. And she put the stiletto up there and then we all went like, whoa, and like he turned around like, what's happening? You know, for some people that's the craziest thing

they'll ever see in their life and then I feel like, I think I remember like nine other things so markedly. Yeah, right. It wasn't top three. Kevin Connolly catching the...

That was like, the day you guys showed up i spent the day like fucking what did i do oh i went to the tulip market and then i went to the van gogh museum because i'm like an art fart like kind of like yeah lefty and i was like look at you getting some culture and i was like i'm the biggest fucking bro who's ever i'm in the red light district drunk off my ass with one of the cast members from Entourage and a guy who never wears a shirt that calls himself The Machine. Like, there's no fucking way

you're an artist. You're like, yeah. You can't put lipstick on that pig, man. Yeah. Speaking of Machine, we'll do it in a second. You saying Machine just reminded me of a video Burt put up maybe this weekend where he was welcoming Machine Gun Kelly

into the Machine nickname. Did you where he was welcoming Machine Gun Kelly into the Machine nickname. Did you see that clip of Machine Gun Kelly? No more gun. Just go Machine now. I'm guessing it's in response to shootings where he's like, I'm not Machine Gun anymore. I'm just Machine Kelly. But he posted – that's what he said, Machine Gun Kelly. Machine Gun Kelly said it on like a red carpet.

They were like, Machine Gun Kelly, over here, over here. And he was like, If you mind dropping the gun It's just machine now And then Burt made a promo Being like Welcome to the machine club Okay The only rule is

I'm the only one Who can take my shirt off But the way he did that Dude I was just like Thinking of Machine Gun Kelly Like realizing what guns are Wait a minute What?

I gotta change his nickname Machine guns have been Killing people all the time He was a rapper first right? Yeah Rapper first Then he became like they do what I gotta change his nickname machine guns have been killing people and stuff he was a rapper first right rapper first then he became

like a punk rock the pop punk kid kind of thing yeah I have a theory that I don't know dick about that dude

I don't really I mean I know he's better than Megan Fox I didn't really care for him I like pop punk so like

I didn't really care for him until he came into that but now I have a theory that Travis Barker did that

on purpose to wake up the rest of Mike Marquardt, too, where he's like, well, I can do this with anybody, guys. You guys bet you want to get back to work or what? I like that. There's a truth. Yeah, because Tom DeLonge's out there just chasing aliens. Hey, bro, you've done everything you want to do.

Mark's got cancer. Why don't we get back in the booth? Because I can grab anybody and fucking do this. For real. They did. They did with Matt. Well, they did with Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio. He was in Tom's spot for a little while.

Yeah. That was a California album? I don't know what it was. I know he did the live stuff with them. Yeah. There's actually like... Like when Kentucky Fried Chicken was still KFC but it's not chicken anymore?

You can use the initials because i'm mgk but don't say gun anymore probably i'm i'm machine kelly or mgk you can't be mk because then you get a whole new bag no it's a big problem it's a big problem good on bert i would have been like you're just coming at my thing yeah yeah this is my corner well he said he was like there's been a few machines throughout history and like he had a couple examples of people who he had that nickname. Oh, Burt did in the clip? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

I think he put Ivan Drago up there or something like that. Yeah, people who – Like they'll get it, yeah. Yeah, like they were a machine. Ivan Drago. Something like that. I don't think they had the name machine, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

But there was a couple people on that video, and then he's like, just don't take your fucking shirt off. That's pretty good. So are you still on tour with him? Yeah, we just, well, I think I'm done. Yeah, we did Fully Loaded. Did you do the boat? I didn't do the boat.

My best friend got me. This is another thing. We're talking about spending money to travel. My best friend got married. Ooh. Where was it? Oh, it was back in, like, it was in Wiley, Texas, which is, like, an hour and a half from where I'm from.

They got rid of this nice house, and it was a beautiful wedding, but everything is just expensive. Dude, I just got invited to a wedding in France. Are you going? I'm going to go. I mean, that's a trip. But at least that you can make. I got to go to Wiley and squeeze in seeing everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wiley's famous for that Candy Montgomery lady. That's where she murdered that woman with an axe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wiley's famous for Candy Montgomery lady. That's where she murdered that woman with an ax. Wait, who's Candy Montgomery? Oh, oh. They just did the – They did the HBO show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he got married like a mile from that house.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. At least France you can say, let's stay a couple days early or late and like make a trip out of it. But just making somebody go to – can I zoom in please? Yeah, it's fucking a lot. I really need and like make a trip out of it but just making you somebody go to can I zoom in please

like yeah it's fucking a lot I really need to be there it's a lot you know but I mean I love him and it's like one of those things

but you know you always just end up doing more than you want to and those things end up being like a week long too you gotta go to this dinner and that brunch and this afterwards

yeah we did like three it's like I don't fucking then it I mean it was pretty great, actually. That's the other side of it. At the end of the night, we all stayed in the house they rented. And one of his family members had a freak out,

and she's cussing everybody out. They just called everybody a bunch of horrible shit. And I was asleep in bed, and it woke me up. And I was like, well, this is kind of like what you do show up for. You see some woman barefoot in the front lawn with mud all over her feet I was asleep in bed, and it woke me up. I was like, well, this is kind of like what you do show up for. Moments. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're putting the front lawn with mud all over her feet and shit. Just be like, you fucking cocksucker.

All right, we're at this. So I was not on the cruise. Well, I also, the, I think that was it. You're like, all right, this is a good show. Yeah. The cruise, I mean, one part of me wanted to be on that. And a big part of me was like, hell no. Yeah.

Like, you're trapped with the machine and all the people who are diehard enough machine fans to buy these tickets. Yeah. And there is no, like, I'm just going to go to my cabin for a little bit and, like, relax. There's no, I'm just going to catch some sun rays and hang out in the pool. There had to be, like, a holding pin for, like, talent and VIPs. I wasn't there, so I don't know. Yeah. I mean, he's also a person.

I hope to God. He's like a Kennedy, you know. He really likes to be amongst the people. Wouldn't that be crazy if that's how Burt goes one day? Someone just blows his head off? Because he's just like, I'm too, I'm just out be amongst the people. Wouldn't that be crazy if that's how Burt goes one day? Someone just blows his head off? Because he's just like, I'm just out there with the people. I hope not. That'd be pretty fucking terrible.

I've done a cruise like that before. Like a party cruise? Yeah. What was it? I did the Bud Light booze cruise. Oh, like when we were doing them or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we used to give those away.

I won it. Oh, as a fan? Yes. No, no. I was a Barcelona employee, and we were working with Bud Light. They were an advertiser. And we had a giveaway at a bar where you throw your name in her hat, whatever. And I'm friendly with the Bud Light guys.

They're like, put your name in. And I and I'm friendly with the Bud Light guys they're like put your name in and I was like no I can't fucking win they're like dude you're not gonna win just write your name whatever

and I was like I win these things and they're like you won them it was a real and then the first name they pull out again it wasn't rigged

and they pulled it out and they're like John Feidelberg and I've never heard a bar erupt into booze. So they were like, we're going to do another one. Like,

there will be, so they ended up being someone else when that bar won too. But like, we went out, I went, I took a buddy

and we went out. What a weird thing to be booed and not perform. I was like, I fucking told you guys. I'm going to win this shit. I wish you won it.

Why don't you play like the real lottery? Yeah, that's a real like like, luck of the Irish. He wins a lot of shit. Bert's that way, too. Yeah. Bert and I have a significant amount of similarities in that sense. But that cruise was, like, I would not survive that cruise today.

No. Dude, I remember. Crazy. We get on. First of all, I imagine Bert's cruise was. No. Dude, I remember I was – We get on – First of all, I imagine Burt's cruise was set up like this too where things are marketed as like it's your cruise, it's not. I don't know if this is Burt's. They sell tickets on it, but there's also a regular cruise happening.

So we were on the Bud Light cruise. I think Burt's thing was his. I think Burt's was like – He rented out the ship or whatever, right? Yeah, it was like a thing where they're like – Like a carnival cruise ship? Like, Gronk's party cruise wasn't... I think it's probably, like, I would say there's, like, a few thousand people.

I think it was, like, 5,000 people or something. Oh, I don't think he's... Yeah, I don't think... Because if you get... I honestly don't know the numbers, but it was like, this is not, like, a thing happening on the cruise. Right. Gronk's was. I remember that.

Because if you were there with, like, your grandma... You just showed up at a regular cruise and you're like, Gronk party cruise? What the fuck? What a horrible thing if you're not part of the Gronk. Yeah. That's what I mean though. You're then trapped.

Punching your kids to get them to the pool and shit. Fucking fuck that. By the time you know it, you're out to sea and you're like, wait a minute. My option is what? Hey, is Rob Gronkowski on our boat? Or you show up, and you don't know anything. Imagine if you're somebody who's from the Ukraine, and it's just on a cruise and thinks it'll be fun.

Why are all these people wearing the same shirt? Yeah, why is this happening? Is that, what was the guy from LMFAO? Red or whatever? Yeah. Is that Red Fu in the, uh, what was the guy from LMFAO? Red or whatever? Yeah. Is that Red Fu in the Supers? What the fuck?

We had like, we had like Lil Jon and we were dressed up in like fucking, I remember my boy, there was a costume night but they had costumes on board so like,

my buddy was just in this fucking, uh, snowman thing and, and we'd done some drugs and he just like fell into the pool

and I, I like had to like rescue just fell into the pool and I had to rescue him out of the pool. He's like wearing a giant sponge. He's just pulling you down to the bottom. Hilarious. The drugs on the getting drugs onto a cruise ship

really easy. I was going to say, is that even? We got off the boat in Nassau and the cab drivers, they have the eye and they grabau and like the cab drivers you know they have the eye and they grab me my buddy you're white you know yeah he's in like fucking like bahamian uh like vacation gear and you're coming out all sunburned and crisp with your buttons open to here they're like you come with me special ride special ride and and we're in the car and they're like they're like hand some weed back and we're like no you

got anything else yeah and he's like oh you want dog what and so we go he takes us like dude balls on you buying drugs from this guy bro and so we go we go to we go over the hill it's called in nassau to the point where he's telling us he's like brag to your friends about this so you've been over the hill in nassau and we're like okay and so he leaves us in the car where he's telling us, he's like, brag to your friends about this, that you've been over the hill in Nassau. And we're like, okay. And so he leaves us in the car, and he goes into some house. We give him $200, and he's gone for a while, to the point where we're starting to be like, you're not coming back.

And then we see these four dudes walking towards us, and we're like, fuck, this is going to get bad. This is bad. Because, again, I wouldn't have thought that. I mean, I would have because everything was dilapidated. It wasn't like a nice part of yeah yeah and it was these four guys coming towards us we're like fuck and they started knocking on the window and we're like just pretending we can't hear it which clearly we can and they're like hey what are you guys doing just like one of these and we're like we're

just sitting in the car like just fucking keep staring straight keep staring straight and they're knocking and knocking and knocking and're like, we're just sitting in the car like, just fucking keep staring straight, keep staring straight. Get the fuck out. And they're knocking and knocking and knocking, and finally we're like, what's up? And they go, the window down. And we're like, fucking fuck. You can't say no now. Put the window down, just hand us a click. They go, you guys want a beer?

So they hang out, just drink with us. Guy comes back with our drugs. Guy brings us into Atlantis, where he- Do you think they like knew his car or something? I don't know. Like, they were just really nice guys. I'm sure they were sweethearts. They probably have already done their murdering for the night.

They already got blood on their hands. Chaining all these children to radiators. We just chatted for a little bit. Drank a beer. Just normal guys. But then he brings us to Atlantis. It's like everybody else in that spot would be fucking dead. But he brings us to Atlantis it's like everybody else in that spot

would be fucking dead partying but he brings us to Atlantis and then he gives us a map of the floor plan of Atlantis where he's like

these are where the cameras are you don't want to do what I just gave you in these areas and we're like this is fucking amazing so we party Atlantis

so you gotta ocean to Levenger way through a drug deal John's like in the push cart after the first bump we had no idea where anything was

like oh no that goes fucking do it wherever the cameras are everywhere I was gonna say John's like in the push cart Yeah But after the first bump We had no idea Where anything was Like hey Oh no That goes Fucking do it wherever The cameras are everywhere I was gonna say You're doing a Ray Liotta Good fellas

If you think that People are not Doing cocaine In the fucking casino You got another thing coming But then we're getting On the boat And we realize

That we Cause the crew's like You sleep on the boat And you go to different islands Yeah yeah So we're getting back On the boat And then you have like

Four hours or whatever Right Yeah And we're like Fuck're getting back on the boat. And you have like port hours or whatever, right? Right, yeah. And we're like, fuck. It was in my buddy's pocket. And we're like, fuck. We're going through security to get on the boat. And we're thinking, it's like TSA. Like, you can't get in.

And he's like, I got it. I got it. And just puts it in his mouth. I was like, that's not going to work. And he just wants the security within his mouth. And it was fine. What do you have? Like, did they pat down or everything?

No, you just walked like a metal detector. It was a lot. But I had gotten flab coming out. So I thought it was fine. Did they pat down or everything? No, you just walked like a metal detector. It was a lot. But I had gotten flab coming out, so I thought it was going to be... I had gotten flab coming out just because I had caused too much ruckus the night before. Where like, I guess they... Hold on.

So you went out already with a yellow card. Yes, exactly. I don't even know how they did it. You have to scan your room key to get out. And when I scanned my room key, it was like... And they just gave you a talking to? Yeah, they were like, the captain wants to see you. And when I scanned my room key, it was like, wah, wah. And they were like, They just gave you like a talking to?

Yeah, they were like, the captain wants to see you. You got like, scolded? Yeah. The captain was busy. I was hoping it was like by a Jamaican lady. You're partying too much, John.

They were like, you were fucked up last night. I was like, yeah, we're on the Bud Light booze cruise. There's like a fucking real hypocrisy there. You're going to sell this

and all of a sudden I get a little too drunk I mean I'm sure you are Blasting Do you like the cruises? Have you ever been on one? That's the first That'll most likely be my last I don't think I would enjoy it

If you go on a really nice cruise Where you're not doing the party thing And you're not doing the party thing and you're not doing, like, old people dying and you go to, like, a beautiful, you know, landscape of some sort. Like, I think if you do some of those, like, Alaskan cruises, if you're into that and you're, like, seeing the wilderness and shit. You want to see a seascape like you're doing? Yeah. That's probably the more the vibe I would go. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if you do. I would do it in Alaska. I mean, I've been on, like, day trips and shit in the Mediterranean. If I'm in a boat in the Mediterranean, I'd probably be pretty happy. It's more the clientele, I feel like, that people... You think they're, like, a little... Yeah. It's the Bill Burr bit, where it's like, who are these fucking people?

You know, what's going on here? Yeah. But I'm sure there are bougie ones where it's like... I mean, it's pretty funny that it's like yacht is the symbol of ultra wealth. And then cruise is like your poorest. Yeah. And it's like, you know, obviously you're doing one versus the other filled with nothing but steerage and Irish. Do you remember that one cruise ship that got stuck?

Yeah. Like a month or whatever it was. It was tipping over. Yeah. It was like rain aground. Yeah. But they couldn't get off for some reason? I would be just jumping off that thing.

That's not the Suez one. No, no. That was the tanker that got stuck. This was like a party cruise. Really not a lot of great nautical news the past few years. It's been a rough go for boats. There was the Suez Canal. There was the ship, the one, the cruise ship, the submarine.

The submarine. Yeah. COVID. Remember COVID? They were, like, airdropping stuff to people. Like, shank it off the boat. All the pirates, all those guys, they've been hitting up the cruise ships, right? Cruise ships. Did you ever see that story about that guy who's just, like, was out at sea by himself and he had no, like,

no idea COVID was going on for, like, months? No. He was just, just like some weirdo who likes to sail you know like and he just you know he doesn't get the news like he just like likes sailing i guess but he's like and then he came in and like came into port and some like i don't know where the fuck it was but everybody was looking at it was just walking around like no mask what the fuck are you doing and he's just some sunburned hillbilly he's like the Korean War guys. It was just like, the war's not over, dude.

Oh, jeez. God, dude. What a thing. That'd be fucking insane. The ocean explosion. These are all the, they're talking about the COVID ones, but there was that one that was like stuck on the. Yeah, there was one that was like,

and I think it was like a giant cruise ship. And it was like... I have a vivid memory of it being tilted laterally. Yeah. And I just remember thinking like... At this stage of technology and human advancement and shit, we can't just get off this fucking boat. If I was stuck on that boat, I'd be like,

get me off this fucking boat. Figure something out. I don't know. A flight, a zipline, a like, get me off this fucking boat. Like, figure something out. I don't know. A slide, a zip line, a heli, get me off the fucking boat. There's another thing with it, too, that's like, I don't know if you've ever rented a boat, but it's the wild wet. They don't give you a fucking lesson. Like, there's a YouTube video, and that's, like, we rented a houseboat in Lake Powell, like a half dozen of us. And they were just, and it was monster.

It was like a fucking floating building. And no, no, no, truly no lesson. They were like, this is that, that's that. We'll see, like, we'll see in five days. And we, and then, like, and then Canaan, my buddy, he fucking ran it into the, like, shore. And then, like, and it floated out into the middle of the main. There's no fucking. So a guy whose job it is to run a boat, running it into the fucking ground.

That's insane. How could that ever happen? That's bananas. I got to give you a title, like captain, and you fuck it up. And you just fucking hit the earth? Yeah. That's insane well i learned something that was crazy like i used to spend summers in this like beachy town that there are pilot boats for

the cruise ships where they come they come to the to your cruise ship and then they navigate it through this is in narragansett bay in like rhode island but they come to your boat and then they get on and they navigate it through there. And I was like, then what the fuck's the pilot? He's like, oh, I could drive it in the ocean. Yeah. Like, anyone. It's the deepest, biggest thing.

I've got so much room up here. Hey, you're telling me when it gets hard, I just call someone else? Like, I could fly. I could do a cruise. It's like when the captain gives you the fucking, like, lets a kid fly the plane. Yeah. I could fly a plane in the sky. It's landing and takeoff.

Dude, that's. Try to get this thing to a fucking parking lot. That's kind of, that's a gangster job, though. I guess those guys are like, I'll just do this little part all the fucking time. Right. Because that guy's got to go out for ten days, be in the middle of the ocean. He's like, just pay me for this hard part, and I'll just do this all fucking day long. So he just, like, the boat goes out, like, these boats just kind of nav like literally just start like lead no he gets

on the boat they bring the pilot ship out this new captain gets on the boat and he navigates okay i'm i thought there was like another boat that went ahead no no but that that guy must get on that boat being like, hi, Steve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember? Hands off. The real pilot's here. You need my help again?

Okay, yeah. Fuck, what? That's the most emasculating shit I've ever heard. Yeah, just like you're just getting ocean cucked. Speaking of cucked, have you seen the story in the MMA world? Ian Gary. I just learned about this. Ian Gary is an Irish MMA world. Ian Gary. I just learned about this. Ian Gary is an Irish MMA guy, and he is married to this chick, Layla Ann Lee is her name.

Layla Machado. Sean Strickland, the guy who just won the belt on a one in a zillion shot recently, made a video being like, I heard what's going on with you. I'm just reaching out dicks over chicks. I really want to help you, dude. He took his wife's name. Apparently, they

said that her ex-husband lives in the house with them. And there was a third thing that like the most emasculating shit I've ever heard. Oh, it was this guy, Ian Gary, was talking about his girl being like, people think that she's just some wag, like she's not a wag. And she has a published book, How to Be a Wag. Oh, I saw that.

She's 40. He's 26. Took her last name. Apparently there's... Now, the girl has come out and made videos being like, my ex-husband does not live with us. Somebody's lying. What if it's like an intense mental training program for his next fight? All the shit you talk

about, like... My own wife does it. I'm impervious. Look what my wife does to me. Yeah, you're gonna to fuck me up. Big deal. My wife's husband fucks me up every night. She's eating my snacks.

I mean, that just can't be. I heard something that he was like a trainer or something, so that's why he was maybe in the house. If you're in the house living, I mean, you just can't do that. You can't do that. And then the reason that he goes by Machado, he's an Irishman who's now Ian Machado Gary. It's a tough, you know what I mean?

It's not like you can slip that one in there. She said, we want all of, like, now I have kids from previous marriage. Now I'm having a kid with you. I want everyone to have the same last name. But that would imply that Machado is some other dude's name. If the kid goes by Machado. Correct. So you're taking that woman's ex-husband's name,

unless she just happened to have the same name. I mean, Machado, right? Is this happening? Well, unless Machado happens to be her, unless maybe the kid took her name, I don't know. But if there is a world where a guy is taking his current girl's ex-man's name,'s fucking insane yeah i mean like that's fucking it's god and it's gotta just be like a coincidence that if you're so attached

to the name why wouldn't you change it back as yeah yeah right right yeah well maybe that's maybe she just took her you know mate she made her kid go by her maiden name but let's say the same but that's but that's at least the story going out around this right now. Imagine being in the MMA world and it's like

your 40-year-old wife, you're 26, she's 40, she writes books on how to be a wag. By the way, that book was 11 pages long.

Yeah, well, she also put a video out saying she was like, it was a, what's a wag? A wife and girlfriend. Okay.

But it's taken on the persona of the girl who's cleat chasing, trying to fuck athletes. Yeah, it's like this X-teams wag. But she came out and said, she was like, I was working for OK Magazine. That's like an audio book download that was a sarcastic thing. But again, these are all perceptions of reality. The horse is out of the barn on this one when there's clips of you being like, I'm not a wag, and then it's like,

how to be a wag. It was made in 2010. She's like, I was 27 or younger. Good for her coming out on it, though. She could really just be like, fucking, maybe we are doing this. She's still holding all the cards on it. Clearly, she's still running the show.

She's done a lot of copies of that. She fucking did it. She's the poster child, yeah. How do you cure cancer? And then you cure cancer? I'll read the book. There was a clip of the MMA guys, though, being like, so today's pay-per-view, a name change for Ian Gary.

What do we have on that? And they go to that girl, Megan Olivi. And she's like, yeah, they're having a baby, and they want to know how to say the name. And the guys are like, okie dokie. I don't think that's how it works, but OK. It's the one thing that you don't have to do all that. And again, also being a fucking MMA fighter, it's like, well, now there's just more ammo on me than you can even imagine, lady.

You know, I'm sure. Yeah, listen. It's actually a great idea. Because guess what? I don't know. I was going to say, maybe it's all part of the game. Get your name out there. Yeah.

Get her name out there. Get his name out there. Yeah. Get her name out there. It's always a thing of fights. Get his name out there for her on your behalf. Crazy, man. Oh, God. So when we did Amsterdam, we geared up for a three-day stretch. You guys had to do that. Had to do that. Yeah, it was a real chore.

But, I mean, honestly, at some point, was there a point where you were like, I can't go anymore, or you just keep rolling? stretch you guys had to do that had to do that but yeah it was a real chore but but i mean honestly at some point was there a point where you're like i i can't go anymore you just keep i mean like i'm not gonna die you know like i'm telling you i would yeah i like if i did that for like a month i would die there's moments in it where i would like i look back at it like we were in stockholm and we were like like dogged out like everyone like, we'd already been going, like, hard for five or six days. And we were in some, like, fancy hotel, and then the restaurant was, like, all whatever, Michelin, whatever. Yeah.

And we're in Macho Man shirts and sweatpants and shit, you know, and, like, eating, like, fish with our fingers. And everybody stood up at one point, and we were, like, what's going on? It was, like, Queen of the Netherlands or something walked in. No way. And and we were like, what's going on? It was like Queen of the Netherlands or something walked in. No way. And we were like, what's up? It's good, but it's no jalapeno popper. Shit like that.

And Bert had a guest book in his room, and Biden and all these other famous people had stayed in there. And we're wiping our fingers on it. He stayed in the Napoleon suite're like wiping our fingers on it you know like it was like he stayed in the napoleon suite yeah when we were in uh yeah which i'm like i'm assuming was like napoleon like it was fucking into i don't i mean i can go pretty hard and it's definitely catching up you know like yeah but like that was like i'm probably not going to be in Europe for a month again on a tour bus, staying in the nicest hotels I've ever stayed in, eating the best. It does make it easier that you – There was a point of like, I'm going to go back.

Maybe I'll get to do that again. But fucking Christ. That hotel was so nice that I left a pair of pants there. And when I went back a month later, I tried to go get them. I couldn't get into the hotel. Like, they wouldn't even let you? I couldn't. You know how, like, you had, like, that street access with, like, the gate?

Yeah. And I was just buzzing. And they're like, are you staying? And I was like, no, I've stayed here in the past. Like, I think I left a pair of pants here. And they were like, scram. Get the fuck out. Bro, you thought that a hotel was going to have a pair of pants a month later?

That place had, like, an iron courtyard. Yeah. And men in fun hats taking my bags. Fountains and shit. I had my notebook in the pants. Hotel's going to have a pair of pants a month later. That place had an iron courtyard. Men in fun hats taking my bags. Fountains and shit. I had my notebook in the pants. But did you... I mean, if you called and said... I couldn't figure out how to call.

It's hard. It's hard. I had tried to call even when we were back here to get... I thought you were going to say they mailed your pants back. I was going to ask them to. Honestly, I was going to say, I don't give a fuck about the pants. There's a notebook in there. Can you just mail that back to me?

The notebook. They just didn't. You know who you should have talked to? You met Ben, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The floor manager? Yeah, the tall German guy. Yes.

Yeah. Dude, he's made his way into this. I already did the special, but fucking any time he ordered dessert, it was like the horniest thing I'd ever seen in my fucking life. I don't think we got the experience. And it's like my whole new act is like just him ordering dessert. It was insane.

We heard about it. I don't think we got to experience it. Smalls and I like laugh about it all the time. He was very sensual. He would just be like, hello. And just be like, does anybody want dessert? And be like, yes, tell me. Just melting these girls. it was fucking wild he's like a good looking

like tall guy yeah the accent yeah yeah sensual yeah real broad you know strapping dude yeah that german accent it it gets like it's almost like it's got like out of sunny like it's got the implication to it where it's like if you don't do things the way i asked like there's gonna be repercussions but that's sexy yes nobody ever said hitler wasn't sexy you think that guy's wife has a german accent it is machado now so you want to fight yeah i don't think it's too bad. I mean, it gets wild, but everybody's got a brain, boy. So even if we do, there'll be nights where we go 10 days in a row, and then Monday night football's on or something,

and we're just like, let's just sit here and drink water. You just need something to do. Do you guys always do shit every night no matter what? Pretty much. You're not partying all the time. Do you ever just have, like, I need a night off? Like, I need a night by myself. I mean, I'm just down to... You'd rather hang with people.

I'm like him in that way that, like, when I'm on my own on the road, which is, you know, like, whenever I'm not with him pretty much. 50-50, yeah. I'm always out looking for something to do. So, like, I don't have a problem with it. Like, usually, like, that I don't end up being drinking or something, but there's a band or something. I always find something.

So it doesn't matter. But you don't want to just go to a hotel and chill in the bed. I did on Thanksgiving, but that was it. Wow. Yeah. So when we get off our shows, one show started at 7 instead of 8, and we did the meet and greet, and we were done, and I was like, oh, baby, we got, one show started at seven instead of eight. And we were like, we did the meet and greet and we were done.

And I was like, Oh baby, we got like enough time to go home and watch a movie. Like, and just like you guys, you, you settle down that fat. Like I can't turn off though. Like I'm like, I do the shows and then I drink or, or, or I, I'm just not done. You know, if you do an hour, you're pretty like juiced, you know? And I want to thank everyone that comes and You guys do too, I'm sure. The meet and greets are sometimes longer than our show. Dog.

There are some fucking punishers. When you guys are doing the fucking arenas, basically. 12,000 seaters. Significantly smaller on mine. Check out the special. You sure know. The fact that you get to work out the special, though, basically while doing

you know those a world tour yeah it's interesting and it's kind of um it's got this moments where it's like it's great but my job at the end of the day is to get 15 minutes really hot get the crowd go like so it's like you can't do like it's so so like when I'm not with him is when I'm like crafting yeah and doing that kind of work but you know you can't I can't be like I can't go up in front of 15,000 people and just be like oh what do you guys want to talk about you know and there's other like there's other challenges with it too it's like I mean I mean you guys do your shows I don't know how big your live shows are but you know they're smaller than births yeah it's because you're not playing the eagle stadium or whatever the fuck he's doing. We fucked up this latest round where we were basically

like small, a small theater but like clubs are like our spot. Yeah, yeah. But we were like booking like

theater rooms which is like if you can't fill a theater stay in the clubs. Yes, for sure. It's always better to ask. I think we had a you know,

higher aspirations that we just didn't promote enough and stuff like that. And it fucking but when you get in a place that has the high ceilings and it's all big and open and that's not filled up, it's like, fuck. This is gonna suck.

Were you guys at Queens? Forest Hills when he came through? Yes. The amphitheater. It rained. It was early. Yeah, and I wentater. It rained. Yes, that was tough. It rained. It was early. Yeah, and I went first, so it was raining. If you fucking, do you want to hear deafening silence?

Perform to 200 people who are so drunk they'll sit in the rain and watch a comic they don't know said in a 13,000 seat room. And then. That might be the pinnacle then to have 12 000 people because it stopped raining halfway into my set have 12 000 people come in and start all doing the same thing looking for a seat yeah it's brutal and it was still fun i got drenched yeah like the heavens opened up right when like showtime was starting yeah it's like fuck this man as everyone was filing in the building we just got drenched but that was a show dude we were talking about that might have been like the greatest comedy lineup

at least in like modern it was a banger it was a bang coming into york and having all you guys on there was insane good company too man oh and everybody killed it was like uh it was you know everybody's set was like holy shit and then tiffany hash did her thing yeah but i mean it wasn't obviously started real hot but it got like i love tiffany but it got it did get it became a little quiet at some point yeah like but uh yeah but she she came out with a hot like energy she really did yeah yeah i uh i don't know if you guys saw that i posted this but i had in st louis it was like 13 000 people or something and so was like, what do you want me to say when I bring you up? And I go, just tell them I'm

Tom Segura. They did that? Yeah, I posted it on IG. The crowd goes wild? Dude, it would. Smalls goes, Smalls interrupted. Why would you do that to yourself? Just for the fun? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smalls goes, no, no, here's what we'll do. I'll walk up and hand you a note

during your set, so people will really, like, and Cy is like,, no, here's what we'll do. I'll walk up and hand you a note during your set so people will really like... And Savitas is like, oh shit, he's here. And then like Mark goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like he hits him with like two bears and they all start screaming. I was behind the video monitor

and I was like, this might have been a really bad idea. A really bad idea. I I mean it's a great idea as long as you're cool with it I would be like oh fuck and then he said my name and I came out and I was like I gave him all the finger and they were like I just heard this woman go right away well fuck you too

and they were all like so mad for like they got on board like but I just like I dogged out the city. And then, you know, like, it's not like nobody. The thing is, like, when you're performing in front of the biggest audience you've ever performed up, the one thing they should know is your name. Well, it's such a weird dynamic, though. I mean, it was fun. I think it made a bigger impression than like if I had a hot 15 minute set

because like, I was like, you know, middle of the bill so it's not like they're remembering everybody and like, you know,

like, but I'm other with people who have massive shows. I'm so impressed with you guys when you are on your way but you're not there yet

and then all of a sudden you're thrust into arenas. It's like, holy fucking shit. And you guys just go up there and do your thing. Yeah. That's pretty impressive. Thanks. I'm used to, you know, three, four, five, whatever, a hundred people, and now

all of a sudden, you know, 10x that or whatever it is, and it's like, and I gotta just go do the same shit I always do. I think I'm pretty fortunate in that, like, I mean, like, the biggest crowds I've ever done with Burt, obviously, and I've done theaters with other folks before but like i was with him when he like jumped into theaters yeah so i kind of kind of came along a bit of the way with like so we were like well i guess we're going

to learn how to do this together yeah which is pretty cool that hour and a half you know like i'll just go up there and you know i'm trying'm trying to remember. I remember you, I DM'd you a while back. You have, one of your jokes is like, one of your bits is like my favorite fucking bit ever. Do you remember? Is it the Guy Fieri thing? I think it was something about you online dating, maybe. Oh, the fisherman thing. Yeah.

Yeah, like, oh, the cast, I have to, I tried all the apps. I have to cast a white. Yes, yes, yes. You're saying I'm casting a white. I'm not casting a fish with just a spear. In fact, I might need to do the kind of fishing that's bad for the environment. Yes, that's it. That's it. That is such a good fucking joke.

It's bad for the environment. It's so fucking funny. I fucking hate talking about that kind of shit because everybody talks about it. But I was like, this joke's actually good. That is so good, man. That jumped out at me. I was like, that is a great, well-crafted joke. It's, you know, comedy's had this boom and it's great, but it's also, you know,

sometimes it gets a little watered down or whatever. No, I mean, it is very watered down right now. Like, it's like, down not everybody but it is like there's a lot of horrible shit that's like getting pushed and selling and it's like oh boy I can go on about this forever but like there's no sense of history

in comedy right now like in the sense of like what stand up like hot young comics right now I don't think they have ever watched Greg Giraldo I don't like I like a lot of not all all of them, obviously, but there's not, these people are, like, important enough to, like, you should know them. You know, like, if you're going to be a musician, you should probably know who Kurt Cobain is. Like, there's, like, a little bit of this stuff. I think that, you know, like, I think the best of the best will take that interest.

But, like, in sports, like, sometimes there's a freak athlete who's like, I don't know, man, I can throw and catch this ball. I don't know who the fuck that guy is. And it's like, okay. I think there's some like you make a valid point, but it's also like maybe the best of the best will, maybe the best of the best won't. But if there are more people not giving a fuck

about the history of something and the actual art form, they just want to be famous. You know how many fucking comedians I see that have like hilarious perfect asses and bikinis or great washboard abs like yeah what a fucking riot this guy is or she is my point being is like if it if this if these are the people who are like exploding it can kind of do damage if it's not good yeah yeah like and also to that point it can also help it like you know like i look and i was never really like a new metal guy or anything like that but like uh i remember i saw like i mean i've used this analogy before like john davis was wearing a

suicidal tendency shirt and then i like found out who they so like people can be a silver lining of like even if i don't like what they're doing, maybe their fans will find comics I like in other people. Sure. It opens the door to... It's like what they said with Jake Paul in boxing. Yeah. I mean, that's a huge... It's not good for the sport, but it's good for the sport.

Yes. And also, I'm a huge boxing fan. And also, what Jake Paul's doing has been done in boxing forever. Yeah, they act like... He's just a guy... I don't know that fucking dude. He's not stupid. It's the most promotional

sport in the world. He's not fighting anybody. You know how many people haven't fought anybody in boxing? That shit's insane. They always do that stuff. He's had eight fights or something like that, I think. Who's he fighting? He's fighting a boxer again next, I think.

No, it's fighting fucking, what's his name? Nate Diaz, right? No, that already happened. That already happened? Yeah. Oh, yeah, Diaz put him in the headlock. Yep. That's so funny.

Oh, didn't he flip everybody off, too? Yeah. God, what a great heel. I think he learned. I didn't hear this. I don't know these things, but listening to someone else analyzing the fight, I think they said he learned like he didn't. He was like, I'm not going to get knocked out. Yeah, right.

So now we can like fuck around. Shane has a bit about that where he's talking about how he's the greatest heel, greatest shit talker ever. And when he's fighting McGregor and McGregor went off and doing his Irish accent and doing like, he's like, I'm going to knock him out in the first round. And Nate just kind of like woke up at the press conference and goes, he better. Sometimes less is more, dude. Like a short jab.

Yeah, Norm was the best at that. McDonald was the best at that kind of shit. Dude, that's another great joke. One of his later things when he's doing Comedians in Cars and Jerry Seinfeld says something like, that's the worst part about bill cosby and he was like i think it's the raping i think the raping is the worst part about bill cosby the uh the uh hypocrisy obviously the the carrot top thing like lives in infamy yeah what did he what did he do with him you don't remember that no i mean i don't know the con thing. Yeah, he just buried him, right?

Well, yeah, he just kind of like, they said Carrot Top made a movie with Courtney Thornsmith, and they're like dogging Carrot Top out because he's a prop comic. And Norm is. Conan's being pretty good. And Norm keeps saying just quips. Everything is like, they're like, we don't know. Conan says something like, you got this movie coming out with Carrot Top

because Courtney Thornsmith is the other lead. Yeah. And he goes, title to be determined. And she goes, uh, Norm just goes, I got a good idea for the title.

It's like, what's that? Norm? He goes, box office poison. And that poor girl. Yeah. He's just sitting there like,

Oh my God. It's the fucking funniest thing. I can still like, like, Oh, I miss him all the time. He's my fucking favorite. Yeah, that was probably a dark time.

No matter what's going on right now with TikTok and comedy or whatever, there's been acts like that, you know what I mean? That people were not proficiently perfect at the game. That made it big. And it was like, eh. I think it's interesting. People want to... We all have...

I think there's this point of, I don't know how much comedy you guys actually watch now. I watch at least a special a week. And that's enough for me to keep my ear to the ground. And then I see it every fucking night when I'm out. Because I'm performing every night. But I think a lot of people just say that this person sucks or I don't like this person. And they have not watched shit. People say The Simpsons sucks now, but I can't find anybody who's watched The Simpsons in 10 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's a headline or whatever. It really is crazy how much just, like, social media. But it dictates, like, you'll have that opinion where you're like, you didn't even watch. And, like, that sucks, right? And they're like, I don't need to watch it. I'm like, yeah, you'll have that opinion where you're like, you didn't even watch. And like, that sucks, right? And they're like, I don't need to watch it. I'm like, yeah, you kind of do. Yes, you do.

Yes, you do. Shut the fuck up. That's why what sucks, though, is that makes half the game your publicist, your agent, your whatever, because you have to have, like, the right perception out there. For sure. That's like why I'm fucking horrible. Half the battle. Yeah. I kind of had this over break with, like, people were asking about Matt Ripe's special. And, like why I'm fucking horrible. Half the battle. Yeah. I kind of had this over break with people asking about Matt Ripe's special.

And I heard it's terrible. And I was like, I watched it. I thought it was solid. It's not real. I didn't love it. It's not great. He's a young guy, blah, blah, blah. First of all, so who am I to critique anything?

But I was like, but people just want to. Because we've had Ripe on the show. People want to dog him out. And he's a very nice guy. I really like talking to him. And I was like, people just want to. I we've had – People want to dog him out. He's a very nice guy. I really like talking to him. I've never met him in person. Is he as good looking as it like – Yeah.

He's very, very handsome. But honestly, he's an even better dude. He's a very genuinely nice dude. And he's very self-aware of what's going on, and he's like, girls love me. They come to my show. They don't like my jokes, and the guys guys get dragged there and they do like my jokes and I'm pretty happy about that and he's like

he's on a rocket ship and what do you fucking want the guy to do? Stop and be like no I'm not going to do an arena because people want to hate on that dude I've seen 20 minutes of his new special and to me it's just I'm going to be nice as I can.

I don't like it. It's not my cup of tea. Whatever. But he's not supposed to take any of these opportunities. That's like shitty. It's like, of course he should. And maybe he'll be like the guy I think who like – maybe he'll catch up to success like in the sense of like what I see catching up in ability to me. Right, right, right.

Or maybe his fans will turn into other comedy fans and like bigger fans. You know, he can also be that person. How many times do we get upset though about a comic where like that guy's talent level is not in congruent with his fame level at all, right? All the same. In like a bad way. It's like, this guy's so funny, but people aren't going to his show, they're not buying his special, whatever. And then when we get the opposite, it's like... That's a very good point.

You know what I mean? Let's just be happy that this guy caught a fucking wave and he's riding it. I'm not gonna dog him out. Like, I watched 20 minutes of the new thing, and I don't see enough of it to know if I like it. But like, do I know if I like it well enough to actually go through it? But like, fucking let him have it. He'll get it or he won't.

Like, he really, I do know what he is doing is making sure his shit gets out there and he's busting his fucking ass. He didn't just get it. No, yeah. He's like a nepo baby where it fell in his lap. He put some effort in, so I'm not going to like dog him out. Yeah. But yeah, like, but I mean, creatively, I'm very different.

Right. Yeah, I mean, like, but I mean, creatively, I'm very different. Right. Yeah. I mean, he probably hates my shit. Yeah. If he can even see it from his fucking private jet. I got to take the air train to JFK after this podcast. Fucking crazy. Oh, God.

Yeah. Well, but you are one of those guys. I think that is like, it is just about getting your name and your work out there more because it speaks for itself. I appreciate it. Thank you guys for having me for that too. Seriously. This is not my forte. I wish – my dream would one day to be able to have like the Rogan effect where it's just like if we put people on, they listen.

That you really like. Yeah. But like there's always a couple guys where it's like I – we have a lot of people come through and we tell them buy the book or watch the special or watch the movie or whatever and then there's always a few people where I'm like for real though, like this guy has it, just watch it you have to know the name it'd be so funny if Matt Rife walked through that door right now I appreciate that

you have the chops for sure I'm proud of the new special what's the date again? December 10th on Burt's YouTube channel Burt Kreischer's YouTube channel and my YouTube channel I think it's coming. I think I'm proud of the new special. What's the date again? Uh, December 10th, uh, on Bert's YouTube channel, Bert Kreischer's YouTube channel and my YouTube channel. So,

uh, and actually fucking, uh, Leanne produced it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like she's got like one of the best ears and eyes.

She's awesome. Like I came at Bert and like, cause I had a couple of things go South, like pandemic stuff. And like, I had like, I was fucked three years ago. I was fucking white hot. I was ready to go. Yeah. I had a show with Will Smith and, like pandemic stuff. And I had like – I was – three years ago, I was fucking white hot.

I was ready to go. I had a show with Will Smith, and then he assaulted the world's most – No shit. I did a – Talk about these things, bro. Our Amsterdam trip, who cares? He – well, he had a show called This Joker where he had a bunch of comics on because he was like a big stand-up fan. Yeah.

And then he took us to Vegas and we because he was like a big stand-up fan and then he took us to Vegas and we all just Did he do stand-up? He did it like as a like a bucket list thing he did on his YouTube like for

so I don't think he ever actually But he didn't come up as like a comic? No, no, no. But take note, Rife. No, I'm not sorry. Be hot!

No, that's not fair. I'm sorry. But he was like so he had all these comics like i'm gonna show them what it's like to be like almost like give them a shot at like using his platform blah blah blah and we shot it fucking right before the pandemic he took like rosebud was there me uh who the fuck else uh sean padden like a half dozen uh punky johnson's on snl so there's a bunch of people like on their way up and different folks lance bangs directed it great great group uh really talented comics and he was like gonna sell it to netflix or something you know and like

this is like this is my way in like this is a good avenue with this kind of face you know yeah and i was like and then um pandemic hits we have no idea where it's going it ends up on Quibi and Quibi fucking maybe it doesn't even air Quibi bites it before

the program they brought from Will Smith eats shit then it ends up on Roku and then Will

has a thing with Chris and then Roku's like sends us all sent me an email that's like we're not doing season two of this show and then Ioku's like, sends us all, sent me an email that was like,

we're not doing season two of this show. And then I had a Netflix show I was taping. It was kind of a similar thing. And then the pandemic hit, like, and that was in March of 2020. So I was like really rare. And I was like,

this is it, man. You're on your fucking way. Yeah. Yeah. And then like, it all fucking fell apart. But, so I, I went to

I was like I'm ready to do this special I've been ready for like years and I went to Bert and he was like let me talk to Leanne and she just fucking ran with it dude and he was like so fucking it was so funny they help you physically produce it what came out of it was kind of this thing of like

I'm not one who's good to ask for stuff you know like i like i like but my friend says if you're good then you should add well you know like and that that's kind of how especially i mean you know and i love it he loves me and i love it yeah it brings on around the world with him he does a lot for him so i felt but i call him and i go hey man i want to do the special and uh i was hoping you can help in some way. And then we're talking, like, do we do, like, he's like, what are you thinking? I was like, well, this is how much money I have.

If you want to get in that way, you can. You know, but if not, I just need your help, like, making sure people, you know, do you want to direct, like, all these kind of things. And he goes, I'm going to talk to Leanne, and we go back and forth. And then they were like, they were going to, like, maybe match the money. And then, like, eventually, like, no bullshit, dude. Leanne just goes, but it was going to get, they were going to match the money, but then it was going to get, like, legally weird, like, who would own what.

Yeah. And then Leanne was just like, we'll just pay for it, and he can have it after. Really? Like, yeah, like. Wow. Yeah, I mean, she was, I don't know if I should be sharing all of this or not. It's a great look for them. Yeah, I mean, but it's like, but, like, yeah, she was, I don't know if I should be sharing all of this or not. That's a great look for them. Yeah, I mean, but it's like, but, like, then.

If I had, like, that kind of money, that's the kind of shit that, like, should be done. But they just, like, she just went straight through the, like, and it was, like, and she fucking was awesome, dude. She was, like, on her shit. They got great people in. And, like, I was, like, getting all emotional and shit at the taping. And I was, like, I just was, like, kind of, like, I was like getting all emotional and shit at the taping. And I was like, I just was like, kind of like, I was crying. Like, I was crying and I was like hugging Bird. I was like, thank you so much.

And he was all drunk and he just goes, you'd be surprised how little I have to do with this. What's going on again? What happened? Why? When do I take my shirt off? But like, Leanne really like, like she fucking,

they push it through and I think it looks great. It looks different. It's not. I mean, she's a woman who like, she's a fucking G dude. Way more hands on

than I think people realize. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like Bird is the product. Anytime I've talked real business with him, he's been like, like when,

when Leanne comes into the conversation is when it's like, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's real. It him, he's been like, when Leanne comes into the conversation is when it's like, oh, okay. Now it's real. It's not just some drunk Myrtle agreed to anything or talk anything. Yeah, we could do a space cruise. You never know. If the sky's the limit, he might break through that.

He's doing pretty good. But yeah, we shot it in a cool space over in Brooklyn. It's like a little indie rock club called the Sultan Room. And it's like, it looks different. Like, I love the cellar and a lot of people. It doesn't look like a theater. It's like small. It's tight.

Awesome. We do a lot of cool stuff. I got friends from bands, got contributed music. Fuck yeah. December 10th, you said? December 10th. Yeah, mine and Bert's YouTube channel. It's a big YouTube channel, man.

There's going to be a lot of exposure. God, I hope so share it watch it you know please do there's some salacious stuff

Shane's one of the guys who really deserves it thanks man I appreciate you thank you for coming to me yeah thanks for having me let's go to that place

that Lizzo got in trouble for taking wasn't that funny that is so wild the news papers were like it's known as a place like where like this that

and the other thing happens I was like I know where that place is yeah I've been in that seat before The newspapers were like, it's known as a place where this, that, and the other thing happens. I was like, I know where that place is. Yeah. I've been in that seat before. They named a sandwich after me there. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.