KFC Radio - Jackie Figured Out the Universe - Full Episode
Episode Date: April 2, 2024Timecodes: 0:00 Start 02:26 LSU vs Iowa 07:02 Beyonce's new album 07:59 Jackie figured out the universe again 21:54 What would the most fun party look like? 29:29 Whats the best thing ...you watched this weekend? 41:29 James Bond 48:16 Mexico City Planning 51:29 Homeless Spies 01:03:49 Video Voicemails 01:29:30 F the Montana Boyz ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Gametime: Download the Gametime app or go to https://gametime.co, enter your email, and redeem code KFC for $20 off your first purchase (terms apply). BetterHelp: KFC Radio is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/KFC today to get 10% off your first month.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr
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But I just can't, like, tell the difference. It takes me a while to tell the difference between a kid and a really short man.
That could be an issue.
That could be an issue, Jackie.
I don't know, that one's going to hold up the court, Jackie.
It is another edition of KFC Radio brought to you on the Barstool Sports Network.
Kevin is out sick, so it is me, Jackie, and Pavs today.
I think we have a lot to get to first things first
hugely important massive apology to issue to miss peaches oh yeah
i didn't actually see what happened with this i i dave said in a tweet he was very upset about
he was very upset at the Hershey company. And I,
like a fucking idiot,
saw Hershey's and thought
he let the dog eat chocolate.
And I
made a joke about it.
Turns out he didn't.
I heard hooves
and I thought zebras. No, I heard hooves.
I'm sorry. I heard hooves and I thought horses.
Wait, can you explain what the...
So Dave tweeted something to the effect of like how Hershey's is trying to murder dogs.
Oh, yeah.
How can icebreakers have this much poison in it?
Yeah, okay.
Blah, blah, blah.
But I just saw the at at Hershey's and I kind of honed in on that.
Yeah.
And I was like, I just said like I like to think this is the first time Hershey's is
learning that chocolate is bad for dogs because it was a silly at. Like, it was like, I just said, like, I like to think this is the first time Hershey's is learning that chocolate is bad for dogs because it was a silly act.
Like, it was like, what the fuck?
My dog just ate the chocolate bar and now it's throwing up?
When did this happen?
And it wasn't that.
It's Xylitol.
Xylitol is my new enemy.
And that's that.
I'm sorry.
Ms. Peaches is fine.
Thank God.
But yeah, you didn't do any research before the tweet?
Before I sent a tweet?
Before you sent a tweet.
No, Jackie.
I didn't do any research before I sent a tweet.
I think a bunch of research is illegal on Twitter.
No, not like researchers double-checking what David's talking about.
Why would I do that?
Yeah, I guess I don't know.
What are you talking about?
Why would I fucking double-check anything?
I don't know.
You obviously got yourself in a bad situation, so it's not crazy.
No, I should avoid bad situations in my life.
I haven't done that thus far.
I'm not going to start last Friday, apparently.
Okay, that's a good point.
I can respect that.
Okay, what else is going on?
Who do you guys want to win tonight, LSU or Iowa?
I don't give a fuck.
Really?
And I'm not following anything.
I should, but I just don't understand college football at all.
Wow.
Basketball.
Yeah.
Who's playing?
Who's playing?
Yeah.
The teams you just said.
Right, but are they men or women?
Okay, so right now i know for sure men but i'm
talking about women oh okay so yeah same i was also talking about when you said football i was
like i'm pretty sure she doesn't know we're talking about women's basketball i guess that
would make sense that both genders are playing at the same time.
Good for the woman.
Pavs?
I'm going to have to say Iowa just for the reason that it's
Kaitlyn Clark's last year and LSU won last year.
That's why?
That's why.
That's the only reason.
It's not because Kaitlyn Clark's white.
No, that's not it.
That's not it.
I swear to God.
Bro, I don't understand how it
happens how these big games get divided racially it's the best but it's unbelievable it's like
i don't is it is it sneaky are we sneaky racist like there's no reason i should be rooting for
iowa other than like i like new orleans is probably my favorite city I love LSU's colors
that's about it
I got no affinity to Iowa
I'm like Kalen Clark better shoot the lights out tonight
I don't know what it is
Kalen Clark is just very easy to root for
but she's objectively
an asshole on the court
yes but also she's like uh
she's enemy number one for everyone else in ncaa you know i mean she is their bad guy but you
almost like want to root for because one she's still little brother because she's playing at
iowa and it's like those little white girls just running around just dropping 40 it's fun to watch
it's quite like we're talking about it with, like, remember, like, McGregor, Mayweather?
Yeah.
It's just like, who do you want to win?
It's like, fucking Conor McGregor.
Like, why?
Like, oh, Floyd Mayweather is an asshole.
Okay.
So is Conor McGregor.
But hey, Floyd Mayweather, like, abuses, like, the infirm.
Yeah.
So does Conor McGregor.
It's like, it's just a white flag. Wait wait this is a dumb question does ellis you have like a caitlin clark
of their team angel reese oh yeah yeah yeah oh they're the classic yes yep it's it's but
to defend to be fair to me i've always preferred the white style of basketball.
What do you mean?
Like, I... I would have followed that up a lot quicker.
Like, I don't
think...
You seemed like you were thinking I was letting you get your
thoughts out, and then you said, what do you mean?
If it was up to me, if I was watching a basketball game,
I would prefer, like,
it's like,
ding,
bing,
bing,
huzzah.
Like,
you know what I mean?
Like that,
because it's more relatable.
Does that make sense?
That like, I want,
I want long distance shots.
Yeah.
I want,
I want like,
what are like,
you know,
I'm trying to picture like how like,
like the cartoons move.
It's like,
duh,
duh,
whoa.
Like all the talk on the,
on the court is like,
hit, hit, hut!
Hard chest passes.
But how do black people play?
Well, black people can jump and dunk and shit.
White people can't.
They gotta shoot the basketball.
Yeah.
I like a real coach's son's game, you know?
Taking hard fouls a lot of white guys in march madness this year have you noticed that um i guess i i haven't watched a
ton i've actually watched more than i usually do but i haven't watched a ton at the same time um
i want purdue obviously a lot of whites, I mean, Tennessee, sneaky at a couple.
Tennessee.
UConn.
It's huge for UConn and Purdue to make it to the Final Four for the white boys.
The Duke always has a lot of whites, but they had a lot where I couldn't tell if they were whites.
Yeah, they're a big light-skinned school.
They're a big light-skinned school.
They didn't go all the way, but they're like, we've got to win some more games.
All right, this seems like it's making Jackie a little comfortable.
I just literally have nothing to add to any kind of basketball conversation.
All right.
Fine.
We'll talk about how Beyonce ruined country music.
No, I'm just kidding.
That album is gas.
Very good.
That album is really, really good.
I've only listened like half, but the Miley song is really good.
The album is from spaghetti to yaya.
It's just all ye.
Okay, I was saying Shibuzy.
I told you about this, too.
I just want to get on track by saying I was a fan of Shibuzy before.
Now he's about to really blow.
Is Shibuzy on this album? Yeah. I don't know which song he's in spaghetti yep um who is shibuzi jackie explain it to me he he's he's he's like almost hip-hop times country i don't know how
to describe it he's just he's shibuzi he's yeah i've only listened like two songs, he's shaboozy. Yeah. I've only listened to like two songs, but he's like, he's. But you were like, he's next.
But I was like, he's next and he's my guy.
So before the show started, you were explaining, not explaining, you mentioned how you figured out the universe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like, I, I, I just, every time I talk about it, it's like, I can't, what else is there to say?
Okay. I just have so many thoughts. Like just don't know but it's like i feel like it's like i've talked extensively about it
and i i want myself to shut up about it too trust me yeah but i i know what you mean i see what
you're feeling because i feel like i'm interested i think people are okay well the last two nights
legitimately i've not been able to sleep
Because I've like
Been thinking about how the universe works
Which is
No
No
Literally no drugs
I don't understand
Why like
I don't know why
I've been put with the burden
Of figuring out the universe
And then I get put in this
Dumb little body
That doesn't know how to form
A fucking sentence
So I don't know how to fucking
Tell people about the universe And so I just have to sit here being like you got i figured it out and all you guys
like oh i'm sure that you figured it out and i'm so worried i'm becoming a cult leader because like
now i'm sitting here i'll just i'll give you guys like this like the littlest taste okay and it's
bear in mind that like i understand i don't know what I'm talking about.
But no, see, what you just said actually I found quite interesting,
where you said you were put inside of your soul does know the answer,
but your physical being can't express it.
And I'm now picturing just like this genius furious gerbil inside you like
why won't you just say what i'm telling her to say every time every time i get high and this
is why i'm like we are not experiencing the same things because i picture this like being inside of
me and i'm and i'm there like oh like
i'm kind of thirsty now and it's like okay then go get water like you know how to go get water
i'm okay and then i go and i go get water it goes i'm cold and it goes okay then shut the window
like we're doing our thing here go whatever okay so that's so funny as far as my relationships go
you're describing both people in my relationship i'll let people guess which one i am
but i get it man
yeah all right then fucking shut the window so So you can imagine the battle that's going on up here.
Yeah.
And it's really exhausting.
Anyways, so I'll try and explain it as best as I can in my dumb fucking human body terms
with this dumb fucking...
Okay.
And it's like, I know I sound crazy.
Okay.
I'm so worried I'm actually becoming a crazy person.
Whatever.
Well, sorry to interrupt again.
No, no, go for it.
You expressed a different fear earlier, which I laughed at and as I thought through could be actually a realistic fear.
We're like, I'm worried I'm becoming a cult leader.
That's a strange fear for someone to have.
I'm not sure I'd say it's a misplaced for you.
I'm not kidding. It's a legitimate fear of mine that like i'm joking about it now i mean i obviously don't
actually think becoming a cult leader i think in another timeline in another life i am the
half-formed version of a cult leader right now and again they just like put me in this dumb little fucking body in another world like and
like also like they put me in a woman's body and nobody's gonna listen to a woman so like a woman
thank god for that best case scenario you're punching the head in the west village
can a woman even be a cult leader you think i don't know okay and i don't want to be a cult leader like i really okay just to be clear i'm not trying to be a cult leader as i as i explain the meaning of
the universe into this microphone to hundreds of thousands of people no i'm gonna like like
honestly like if you take thank you repeatedly saying i don't want to be a cult leader out of
this you are well on your way to be a cult leader.
Amy Carlson, cult leader.
Hell yeah.
Well, no, again, I'm not trying to.
Okay, I'm just going to explain.
I'm going to explain it.
The university, you guys.
In very simple terms.
And I have to do more research.
And once I do the research, I'll actually figure it out.
But right now, neural networks is something that machine learning like AI The fuck is happening right now?
The gerbil kicked in
He just took control I saw it happen
What the hell was that dude?
He just grabbed the reins
I want you guys to be prepared I'm gonna you know I'm always talking about code and I'm talking about that.
Yeah.
I'm going to be talking about that a lot.
Wait, so this isn't just like you smoked weed and you thought, you've been doing research on this.
I've been doing extensive research.
I watched two hours of YouTube videos last night.
Okay.
Okay.
But I already know.
So I remember when I was in school, like I took a coding class and we learned about neural networks, which is, like, how they code machine learning, right?
Sure.
And how it works, basically, is, like, we, like, basically, it's obviously, like, we input.
How do I explain this?
I'll tell you what.
You had me in neural networks.
You're losing me a little bit.
I know. Okay. had me in neural networks. You're losing me a little bit. I know.
Okay.
Okay.
Neural networks.
They have designed this, like, program.
Like, that's how they teach machines how to learn.
And they have designed it based on our brains.
Right.
So it mimics, like, the neurons and the synapses in our brains.
Which is why it's a little convenient that, these machines just happen to like work exactly like us
that's just what i'm always saying right yeah well again i wouldn't call it convenient i call it by
design no no it's not you literally just said it's by design okay but it's i know but it's by design
but isn't it just convenient that we just happen to be able to recreate this so then how do we know
that we're not in that and what i think is is that so this is this is a theory that I'm not for sure set on, but I know that it works in some kind of form of this algorithm.
Like, every single thing, the way that the neural networks works can be seen in this world.
Like, works exactly how we work, okay?
Like, from, like, there's even, like, mistakes need to happen in this system
because that's how it learns.
Like, they shoot for mistakes.
They want mistakes.
Whatever.
Okay.
Anyways, the point is, now here's my theory,
is that, and this one I'm not that sure of,
but we, like, the code, it's like a 3D printer
where the second that the 3D printer,
like the way to finish it is just every single scenario has to play out
from every single universe, every single timeline,
like every single scenario has to play out, right?
And it's like in every planet.
Okay, got it.
So every planet also has these different physical realms, whatever.
And so we have to figure out like what the best case scenario is.
It has to go through every single one.
So like maybe there's even like people above who are like, all right, we're going to like skip all this, like having to make mistakes.
And we're just going to have this computer software that figures out like what the best route for everything is.
Right.
That part I'm not actually like sure about.
I don't know if there's like people above. But in of this so then it's like we have earth we have like whatever
and like we got to figure out like the best physical being now i'm sorry to sound like a
crazy person jackie i don't have a clue what you're saying am i an idiot i like i'm not following no
no no and i didn't think that anyone was i can't lie i'm trying i'm i'm i wouldn't say
trying yeah um i'm participating i'm not trying to follow but it's not easy okay here's something
that like is kind of inspirational that i thought of it okay so i'm sorry and then and then i'll
kind of shut up about this because no because i have questions i'll work on my theory too i'll
figure out neural networks and then i I'll actually get back to you.
Yeah, because you had me right there.
I was like, oh, fuck.
We're about to get a lesson.
And then we kind of went.
Because it's like, I don't know.
You guys, you're sitting here asking me to explain the universe, and it's hard.
Well, to be clear, no one asked.
You showed up and went, I figured it out.
And we said, pray tell.
No one was like, hey, Jackie, by the way,
today you're going to explain the universe to everybody.
I know, I know.
And listen, it's like, again,
I'm sorry that you guys were burdened
with having this cult leader,
this person who figured out the universe as your producer.
I want to talk about Beyonce's album today.
Unfortunately for you guys.
But that's too lowbrow for me.
Okay, but then, okay, so then also here's the one inspirational thing I'll say.
Is, like, in terms of, like, manifesting and, like, following your dreams and whatever.
If we work like computers, here's my theory is like when we want something and like when you
have goals or whatever it's because your brain is already calculated like again your brain works
like like a calculator where it's already calculated to like oh we can do that we can get
that like if i say i want a rolex the reason i want the rolex the reason that that thought has
become a thought in my mind is because it's like, I've already done the math in my head from all the times
I've messed up and all the successes I've had, whatever.
And I've been like, oh,
we can get a Rolex. I can do that.
I can make that happen. And that's why I don't
have hopes to be a doctor
because I've calculated in my head, I'm like, I can't do that.
Do you know what I mean?
I have no idea what you mean.
I feel like that was really simple terms.
I'm really not following.
Then, you know what?
What are you talking about with the Rolex and the doctor?
Wait, that I felt like was super fucking clear.
I'm going to work.
I'll work on this.
Maybe KFC Raiders is just too lowbrow for me, too. Yeah, dude.
You got to get a macro does or something.
Anyways, how was your guys' weekend?
It was good, but I was just thinking about something you said there
where you were talking about the machines and the algorithm.
And that got me thinking about the algorithm now
and how we are all slaves to it.
Yeah.
And how we're exchanging these youtube numbers and all this stuff and
trying to figure out how to get on the right fucking trajectory and i think
i think women don't realize how good they had it where you you used to be able it was a thing
you could sleep your way to the top yeah yeah i can't suck the algorithm's
dick no there is there is nothing you can do in order to to get over this hump it's ruling over
us it will not let us succeed and by us i mean i mean people i don't mean like just people in this
room i mean humanity yeah and and it And there's just nothing you can do.
At least in the 70s, you knew what you could do.
All right, just cracking open my Game Time app here.
I've said I'm making this my new social media,
and I don't think I'm necessarily kidding nearly as much as I thought
or as much as anyone else thought I was
because just the other day day I popped her open.
I discovered that there's a young gentleman named Tim Robinson
coming to the Beacon Theater in New York City,
and I was like, holy shit, that's crazy.
I want to go.
So guess what I'm doing tonight as you listen.
I got game time tickets.
I am going with Jackie and Pavs. We're going to go
scope out how a
sketch show does a live show.
For no reason. No reason.
Just purely out of curiosity.
See what that's all about.
And
pure curiosity, guys.
But, did you know
you can get tickets to Tim Robinson, any game, any, I'm going to
switch microphones here.
Ready?
Watch this.
Never.
I bet this has never been done in the history of ad reads before.
I'm going to keep going from this mic and I'm going to switch to this mic and it's going
to be pretty wild.
Like how I did that.
Oh, baby.
Um, that's an ad read first, folks.
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What are you waiting for?
I'm going to buy these Tim Robinson tickets
right now. That was a lie I just said
for the ad read because I already bought them.
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Terms do apply. Me and Jackie
kind of have this lifelong deal
where I'm almost like Jackie's
keeper where if there's ever a day where I feel like she's gone overboard i get to put her into a mental institute
lifelong deal um we're almost there yeah i was gonna say are you close i give you i'm really
saving that one for like a bad day okay i was gonna say i feel like we might have some bad days
coming up so uh wait i have a i have also a thought that has just while we're on the topic
of like math education sure yeah i didn't realize we were on that topic let's not move on just yet
what do you think like like the and you can kind of do this for everything but like
if you were to put in like scientific terms the most fun party ever, what would that look like?
How would that criteria, what would the criteria be?
And what would the party look like?
Is it the most dopamine released at a party, but then you have to factor drugs?
Yeah, well, it's going to be a lot of cocaine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's to be a lot of cocaine. Yeah.
So it's like, does artificial dopamine count?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And is it just like the collective?
It's a good question.
So, okay, let's say you have to pick a musician.
Yeah.
A location.
Yeah.
And a...
Like people at the party?
I honestly think maybe you can pick
a celebrity.
The people at the party are your friends.
Who's running the party? What celebrity's party is hosting?
Yeah.
But I don't know if it has to be a celebrity's party.
It could be some high schoolers
and they don't know it, but they had the most fun party
ever recorded in the world. Oh. Is it more fun because when you're in high schoolers and they don't know it but they had the most fun party ever recorded in
the world oh you know like and is it more fun because like when you're in high school like
everything's more fun because like you're drinking for the first time or is it like these celebrities
they obviously have access to the coolest stuff so they have the most fun are they having fun i
think i think your capacity for fun i i thought i would think if you're listening to this show,
you've already been to the most fun party you'll ever go to.
But in the world, what do you think the most fun party in the world ever recorded was?
We talked about it on a show recently with somebody, I forget who,
but I have heard just great things about Thai full moon parties.
Yeah.
I've heard that the full moon party is
the best.
The cocaine drinks are flowing.
Yeah.
So that's all I can say.
But I would get, honestly, when you ask
what's the most fun party you've ever been to,
my head goes, I've been to some great
parties in the last 15 years.
My head goes to high school.
Yeah. Really? Pabst, what about you? Definitely didn't go to any great parties in the last 15 years my dad goes to high school yeah really pavs what about you
definitely didn't go to any great parties in college so probably just like high school
yeah i would agree probably my prom yeah my after prom like dude we had we had my like just like
we had a you know everyone's got like the friend his parents let you drink something like that
yeah we'd have parties in my friend's backyard It was in the middle of nowhere and it was just fucking awesome.
We had one night
where we just...
Like, honestly,
it's not...
They're not stories that...
They wouldn't be funny.
They're not even, like,
good stories.
Like, we got fucked up
and we ran in the woods
and we had sticks
and we pretended we were
playing army
and cops and robbers
at sunrise.
That was...
It's not a good story,
but it was unbelievable.
No, but that's not funny.
It was so funny. i want to do that
right now it was like 6 a.m we were like running to the river like just like shit face 19 year olds
like it was it was like it honestly was the best drugs involved or was it just like wholesome fun
we might have been on mushrooms but we weren't we weren't on any uppers. But the...
Yeah, I think
every good party I've been to
I was young.
Yeah.
I've had fun nights and stuff like that.
Even the Patriots Super Bowl parties were...
They were very fun.
But I wouldn't put them on a list of the greatest nights.
I would say college for me.
But you wouldn't put those on the list of the greatest?
If the list was long. If it's in the top 10 probably okay but like if it's like one of my best nights ever like not those are all like i was pretty young yeah okay
but what what about what about my question one musician yeah one location yeah one what's the
third thing you said the celebrity host Because that's kind of the vibes.
And the vibes of the party is kind of the musician.
So you kind of already got that.
You already got that.
Theme?
Theme?
Theme I feel like would be dictated by the musician too.
The musician's kind of carrying a lot of weight here.
Okay, let's get the musician first and then.
I'm going Sinatra if we're going dead or alive bro your party's gonna suck no dude look i love sinatra i like listen to him my nice glass of wine while i'm cooking dinner
but you're gonna fucking turn up to sinatra i don't yeah dude it's gonna be a classy party
but like sinatra was also like
he was a bachelor he was the man so yeah he knows how to throw a party he is a booze hound but that's
why he's saying so slow okay all right maybe no no no don't let me change your mind i'm just
yeah okay i think you're on to something like i i think it has to be kind of like swanky
like gatsby yeah music i don't i don't really know what that's i here's
the deal i like that vibe i like that look that that aesthetic but i'm not doing that music you
although again i like that music yeah if i'm not trying to party that's not what i'm gonna listen
to i'm gonna do like fallout boy i knew that you were going to do Fall Out Boy. Do Fall Out Boy in Texas?
Come on.
Yeah.
But, but, okay.
Okay.
We also like time period wise.
Does that matter?
Oh, you want to pick the era?
Yeah.
Bro, I'd love to.
Now I'd definitely pick Fall Out Boy.
Do like Fall Out Boy in like 60s?
No, not.
Do Fall Out Boy if we're doing Gatsby instead. We'll do Fall Out Boy in like 60s no not the fall boy if we're doing gatsby's that i will do fall boy in the 20s but are you just saying this because you just went to a fall boy concert no i always
they happen to be in town but i always listen but those people are the most depressed people like
yeah they fucking turn out the most yeah i guess guess what because we're trying to die dude yeah
you're part of the people who are actively trying to die.
It's the best.
I would say like high school party vibes where it's just like some random DJ that just plays all the hits, the 2000 hits.
That's a good answer.
Yeah.
Where you're just like, wait, whoa, I forgot about this song.
Because those nights went back to back to back to back, and you're just straight up whoa I forgot about this song yeah because those nights
went back to back
to back to back
and you're just
straight up dancing
and singing along
with everyone
like that's the most fun
I think a human
can possibly have
yeah
but I mean
you're like
when you like
kind of take over
a touch tune
or something like that
yeah
or when someone else
takes over
you're like
who the fuck is
who's the master in here
who's running this right now
okay straight up
I think I have the best answer
I'm just saying
okay I take mine back I'm just saying.
Okay, I take mine back.
I'm actually going to go Sammy Adams.
Oh!
What?
No, I'm joking around.
I think Sammy's going to come on the show soon.
Oh, no, dude.
I would be sick that day.
Kevin and I have been talking.
I think Kevin was talking to him more, but we have been discussing.
He said he's coming on the show.
He's got a new track out now.
Used to.
I don't know if I'm the kind of person who can say a new track out. I don't been talking to him more, but we have been discussing. He said, come on, show us. He's got a new track out now. Used to. I don't know if I'm a kind of person who can say a new track out.
I don't think so.
I think you do.
I think I should have said a new song.
I don't even know what a track is.
Why did I say that?
I don't know why I said that.
I've never called a song a track ever.
I think I was just trying to be cool maybe.
I like that this self-awareness is good.
Sammy's got a new song out now.
It's called Used To.
It's a heater.
As only he does go listen to it.
And he is going to be on the show soon.
I believe that it's being worked out in the process or as we speak.
What was he going to say?
What's the best thing you watched this weekend?
Wait, are we done with that?
Are we done?
Everyone answered yeah, I think.
We only got to, yeah.
I think that that was.
Best thing, Crazy Stupid Love.
I mean, I've watched it a million times.
It is so, as you would say, banana's good.
It is.
It is banana's good. And Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone have just the best chemistry.
He is so hot.
I wonder if they're going to get into a Leo-Kate Winslet thing
where their whole lives, everyone's like,
they're the ones that should be together.
And Kate Winslet's husband's going to be like,
hey, how about you shut the fuck up?
I'm aware I'm not Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is Emma Stone's husband like,
yeah, I know.
Did they ever date?
No, I don't think so.
I'm sure they probably fucked. but, like, you know.
But I think it's better that they didn't.
I don't know.
I have to do research on her husband.
If that would be a really wholesome relationship, if they just never fucked and they're like that.
Yeah, and they're just, like, good friends or whatever.
Oh, that's right.
I always forget Gosling's married, too.
But Eva Mendes probably isn't as, hey, shut the fuck up.
Not that it's just Eva Mendes is like yeah yeah so don't worry about me i'm i'm not too concerned
about what ryan's i actually also i they have like the greatest relationship ever in the fact
that they don't hang out at all publicly yeah like they just don't go on the carpet together
they're like i think even mendez has spoke on it before which is like that's work the like hayley bieber and justin bieber and everything like they make having
a public relationship just it it just looks awful because obviously like i mean everyone comments on
it but it's like i think it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy where yes it just
has to ruin your relationship anyways what was the best thing you watched this weekend?
Best thing I watched this weekend...
Actually...
Paz, what was yours?
Silver Linings Playbook. Watched it last night.
Excellent. I think I watched it too young when I first saw it and I was like, it's okay. It's a masterpiece.
It's great.
It is very, very good.
I don't know why you guys watched either of those movies, but they're two great movies.
Yeah.
I think my thing was just a clip.
It was on someone's fucking Instagram story, so I don't even know how to go find it again.
I think it was recent, because I know Toasted.
Is that the Pop-Tarts movie?
I know that trailer just dropped, and Seinfeld looked, like, modern-y.
And he was on a late night show and he was talking about how
he like just got back from vacation and hates it and i think it was seth myers maybe maybe
it was fallon was like well why do you go and he's what my family wants to go and like well
why do you go so he's like i don't like anything so like what's why not just do that thing that i
don't like like i'm just gonna sit here and not like being at home so why don't i anything so like what's why not just do that thing that i don't like like i'm just
gonna sit here and not like being at home so why don't i just go like that will make them happier
i'll just go there and i won't like that and i love this i know like i love the idea that yeah
and he's like he's like i'll i'll be like we're on the flight home my wife's like do you have fun
i'm like no i knew it was gonna suck and And that made me think that I think men, and I actually don't include myself in this, in men.
Because I actually do think I possess the capacity for fun.
But I think men largely don't have fun.
Where it's like, I know I'm going to hate this, and I just do it anyway.
And then I was kind of like,
I think men leave the house like women have sex
where it's just like,
did you enjoy yourself?
No, but I didn't really plan to.
Did you come?
No, I knew I wasn't going to,
but it was still fun.
I feel like that's how guys go out at night or at any time.
I love that.
That's really sad, though.
Is it sadder that it's every time you leave your home,
or is it sadder that it's every time someone enters you?
You're like, this isn't really.
Yeah, it's so true.
But is it when the girl wants to do something like
if you do something with your guy friends no i i i you know it's i i while i think i i do have the
the ability to have fun i also there are plenty of times where i go out and do fun
and it wasn't fun even if it's something i objectively do enjoy like i recently went to
a rangers game with my dad and it's terrible i hated it it was miserable and we left he's like
how great was that and i was like yeah it was awesome but i really didn't i don't know why i
didn't have a good day game the game itself sucked like i don't know i just didn't have fun. It was just a good day game. The game itself sucked. Like, I don't know. I just didn't have a good time.
It was,
again,
it was something I liked doing.
It was just that day I didn't have fun.
Um,
I,
I'm really kind of at a point in life where like,
this shit's fun.
Like,
I'm just like,
I mean,
I'll, I'll,
I'll come on a down slope,
but like right now it's like,
I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Yeah,
it's pretty tight.
Like,
I can go to Mexico City. I, I wanna, i'm gonna join the soccer league because i'm like i i fucking can you know like i don't know it's like a game life is a game it's like really but there
is no way to win it's just there is you just fucking do what you want right now and then
when that's done do what you want at that point and then when that's done do what you want there yeah okay okay this is the last thing i'll
say about like the universe and whatever oh yeah but kind of also my takeaway from it is
in the same way that like in machine learning like the more information you give it the the better
the more precise the algorithm is going to come out right so it's like if you do that in life like if you just do do and be
and like make decisions the more you do the more it's going to come together like what you what's
best for you to do so like like even if you just take an art class and then you're like oh
my hand is really steady and you don't even notice that like now your brain is calculated like oh my hand's really steady i could be a doctor
do you know what i mean like the more you do the more you input the more decisions you make
like an algorithm the more you can be like what this is my style exactly then it will come out to
to form you in the best version of you i completely agree with that okay cool
now we're moving and grooving i completely agree i can just say, cool. Now we're moving and grooming somewhere. I completely agree.
You just say yes to everything.
You're like, oh, I like that.
Yeah.
I actually was at dinner, Easter dinner the other day.
A bunch of kids around.
By the other day, do you mean yesterday on Easter?
Yes.
Okay.
A bunch of kids around.
Kids around.
Crayons are around.
Inarguably my most socially awkward, autistic,
whatever the hell word you want to use,
I sat down and I just colored.
I didn't talk.
I just sit at the kid's table coloring.
It's a weird move.
Like, dude.
It's a weird move for a 34-year-old man.
I'm telling you, just like me with a bunch of 2-year-olds.
And I didn't, to be fair, I sat at the table first they joined me it wasn't a
child-sized table and they joined me so i was kind of the trendsetter like like how somebody
discovered shibuzi and and i was sitting there just drawing and there were only like five colored
of crayons so i was trying to draw a face.
So I was mixing colors.
I had some red in there.
And I would take my finger and I'd rub that.
And the kids were like, what are you doing?
I was like, mind your business.
Like their skin tone was red?
I was trying to change the skin tone just to put a little color in it, a little blush.
And I was putting little browns and some greens.
And I was trying to make it look good.
And they were like, that looks pretty good.
And I was like, I want you to mind your fucking business.
Yours looks like shit
to be honest
and then parents and adults were starting to
sit down at the table and they were eating
and I'm still rubbing the picture
so like the table's shaking
and I'm in the corner
and after like 45 minutes
I realized what I was doing and I was like
oh my god have i been
shaking the table the whole time and everyone's like yeah like people have been trying to eat
their their fucking wine's been sloshing all over the place little johnny's been in the corner
so the parents are all doing like their. By dumb parents, I mean my parents. My parents, my sister's,
fiance's parents.
Yeah.
My siblings.
What are you doing, dude?
We're all just in these dumb little bodies.
People just look at me.
When I finally looked up,
they're like, what are you doing?
It's like, a picture.
It was this terrible picture of what honestly kind of ended up being me.
I was just drawing a face.
I was just drawing a face.
And it just, I mean, as much as it can look like anybody.
I don't have ability.
I don't have talent.
So it didn't look like anyone really. But I guess it was just so it wasn't like it didn't look like anyone really but I guess it was just a blonde person like
me I like the idea of your dribble just being like he does this let him do his
thing we were pretty clear about what was happening. It's Easter dinner. Yeah, we were trying to eat.
Like, all right, sorry, the kids wanted to draw.
Just trying to be a good uncle over here.
Whenever I take Adderall to study for finals,
I do remember after 45 minutes,
I would get caught on drawing something.
You have the moment after, like,
whoa, I got really crazy there. It's all I've been thinking about for 24 hours. whoa, I got really crazy there.
It's all I've been thinking about for 24 hours.
Man, I got really into drawing first.
That was really weird of me. But at the same time, I was like, dude, those kids thought you were pretty good.
Maybe there's something there.
Maybe check out this drawing path.
Okay.
Have you seen, on TikTok, everyone does portraits, painting portraits.
I think that you and Kevin should do one of each other.
They just did that on Anus, I think. They they definitely just i don't know if it was from that but they definitely just drew mook on anus well they
definitely we can't copy content here at barstool we would never do that um no but i would like to
see there's artistic abilities that you speak so highly of it's like i think i'm a decent i think
i think i'm i could see you um being like dad art
good i feel like all dads kind of like sneaky that is true yeah my dad is a very not very good
easy dad but my dad draws and paints a lot um oh really yeah like he like travels with his like kit and stuff any gardens any gardens any gardens yeah
he did he we one time we went we had a uh paint night for some charity back i was living in
boston still and him and my mom drove up for it it's like one of those wine and paint nights yeah
and lou was there i don't think there was anyone else. But we had to paint this beach scene.
And there's a bunch of beach grass and the dunes and water and the sun.
I know what makes up this.
There were like 40 people there.
And 39 painted that.
And my dad just painted a barn.
And he was like, I didn't feel like painting a beach.
And we were like, what the fuck, dude?
That's kind of being like an asshole.
It wasn't even like, you know, sometimes you can put your own spin on it.
It was a barn with a car and some animals.
Everyone loved it.
Everyone was like, this is amazing.
And I was like, dude, it's not even close to the assignment.
It's one thing to take inspiration from and change it a little bit.
It's another thing altogether to be like, I'm doing a barn today.
It was straight out of Billy Madison.
I've never seen a blue duck, so I wanted to see a blue duck.
Dude, by the way, speaking of movies, best thing I watched this weekend?
Fuck.
I just forgot the name of it.
It was Bond.
I think it's the last Brosnan Bond.
The one with Brooke Shields in it.
Dude.
I thought I loved, and I do love, Daniel Craig Bonds.
They're unbelievable.
Daniel Craig's great, blah, blah, blah.
The fucking Pierce Brosnan Bonds.
That's James Bond right there, folks.
Yeah.
Just like, I mean, in the first five minutes,
he makes a sexual joke and then fucks his doctor.
And I was like, that's Jimmy Bond.
Daniel Craig does great with the brooding
and kind of like the darker,
like we've done with all our heroes and fictional characters over the last 15 years.
But 90s Bond just had gadgets, gizmos, fucking funny lines.
Wait, how many is Pierce Brosnan in?
Three, I believe.
GoldenEye, Die Another Day, and i can't think of this one what do you think of the the
new guy cast aaron taylor johnson yeah i don't know much about him okay i know his wife's way
older than him yeah that's a weird situation there his wife was like his director i think
or something i think she was like 45 and he was like 19 when they first met
if it was a man and a woman
you wouldn't say anything
I'm kidding you would
for sure I would
I do love those arguments
if it was a man and a woman and it was
40 years ago you wouldn't have said anything
oh yeah I guess
why are there so many stipulations on this
I think he's going to be a really good whatever.
Okay, if you were to cast one other person to be James Bond other than people who have not been in it?
I was big on the Idris Elba a while ago, like 20 years ago.
I think he's too old now.
I also would just like to see him do more Luther movies rather than Bond and make Luther a bigger IP, even though it's humongous already.
I think I've only seen Skyfall.
It's got a great one.
Dude,
I always wondered why Andrew Garfield
didn't get a shot. And I know people say
he's skinny, and he is skinny, but
people bulk up for reals.
I didn't know
he was British until two years ago. He had that viral
clip on the red carpet.
I was like, oh shit, he's British?
But put like 30 pounds on Andrew Garfield,
that's fucking Bond right there.
But also he's Spider-Man.
You can only have so many main roles. That's true.
I don't know if you can do Spider-Man and Bond.
What about Pattinson?
Fucking Batman and whatever the vampire's name is.
But it's kind of like how we were talking about with Dune.
Zendaya really took me out of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see what you're saying there.
You know, like, you can only,
there's definitely oversaturation of main roles.
Yeah.
Anyways, that's my two cents.
Is Elordi British?
Elordi is Australian.
He's too tall.
Yeah.
He's 6'5".
Yeah, you're right.
Miles Teller?
He's not British. He's not British.
Do they have to be British? Oh, yeah.
I mean, I don't think
you would get away with that. Tom Hardy's
too old now, too, I think.
Tom Hardy's very good.
Tom Hardy would have been good
instead of Daniel Craig.
Whereas he could do the brooding in the dark, too.
But we've already done brooding in the dark for 20 years.
I'm down for a new version of Bond.
The 90s Bond feels like it's crazy.
Obviously the villain and all that stuff is always nuts.
But the action is insane.
Although I guess it is in Daniel Craig's Bonds too.
I don't know i feel like
those are more based in reality whereas like didn't this in you know james bond he he fucking
ties a uh uh what do you call it to lift blinds like a like a rope yeah to a dead body and jumps
out the window and falls like 40 stories and it's just like lands casually and hot and like that's
fucking awesome i actually have had this thought where i wonder if like um men enjoy action movies
more because like whenever i watch an action movie the whole time i'm like there's no way they would
have survived this by now because like for me it's like as a woman like walking in the street you
could get taken out by just like like it just takes like walking
home at night to get killed you know and like for a guy you don't have that in your head where it's
like i'm so easy to kill so it's like when i see like there's no way that they're going through
like major blow-ups and gunshots and everything they're still alive like no chance but that's
because it's like you could take me out with like one punch on the streets of New York. I see what you're saying.
Do you have that thought ever?
Like you're like, this is not realistic at all.
For sure.
But I love that.
I'm like, that's ridiculous.
Like that is, that's the fantasy of it.
Like, I'm not like, yeah, this would happen to me.
Yeah. I'm like, that fantasy land is a fun world.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't either.
Yeah, really?
Can't.
See, I think the way you're describing it, and I, again, I'm not counting myself in this group of men.
But I can see how men watch romantic movies like that.
Where you're like yeah no way that would
happen like no way they're putting up with that shit this show is sponsored by better help it can
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Well, you got Easter and all that stuff.
Summer, you're gathering all the time.
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slash KFC. So, we have any like done any planning
for mexico city oh uh no nothing no nothing but i'm gonna go yeah no you like if you die you die
exactly like i said like that's none of my business i think you're also my problem it's
clear you're going. Yeah.
So at this point, like, I don't know.
I'm not going to convince you not to go.
Go have fun.
I respect everyone's opinion.
I am.
Like, who was who was someone said something?
One time Don said it's totally fine.
Yeah.
Don, he did.
I think Gia also said it was fine I think Taylor
I think Taylor's there right now
Not you and Taylor
One very different people
Yeah
Probably he's never been there
But I was saying that more like
Hit him up
Rather than
You probably won't do that
I probably won't do that
But if
If I feel uncomfortable
That is
I meant like get dinner
Not like come rescue me
Oh
Oh my gosh
You actually got a family out of jail
Yeah I
I again like
I
If I die
I die
But you're not doing any planning
I'm not doing any planning
I should do planning
I would recommend a little planning
I should do planning
How long are you going for
Four days
Okay
I will do a hotel Instead of a hostel recommend a little planning just like find some how long you going for um four days okay i i will
do a hotel instead of a hostel but other than that like i'm not really the hostel thing is
was peculiar to me because okay so like were you like because here's like i'll sometimes do things
where like i'm like this is probably not going to be great yeah i'll probably get a
good story out of it so who cares is that what you were doing with that or were you like i had
the thought that i was like there's only so much time like there's only such a window that i'm able
to do a hostel and i've done hostels before and it's like i also like i've decided like
i'm sick of being broke.
So I'm going to get rich soon.
Yeah.
So, like, I might as well live the poor life now.
Because I'm going to start getting rich in, like, six months.
Six months.
I think.
Okay.
So now is kind of my only window to be able to do, like, the poor people things.
I mean, makes sense. so that was kind of my
my thought process there but i could like extend i think six months a little i'd give yourself two
years well okay and so i until i start like like affording a hotel is not really like a crazy
you know it's like i can make i can make hotel money within six months
how do you spend money?
I'm pretty sure you make hotel in Mexico City money now.
No, I also do have the money.
My issue is like right now they raise my rent like a motherfucker.
So I'm trying to like over save.
Okay.
How much did they raise your rent?
What?
How much did they raise your rent?
$300.
But like they've also raised it. No, like, they've also raised it.
No, $350.
They also raised it.
Damn.
$300 from the year before.
So now I'm paying $700.
Shit.
They've only raised mine $100 in four years.
What?
Really?
And it's like I live in Midtown.
Like, okay, wait.
Can I talk about this homeless man on my street?
Yes, please.
Okay.
This is going to make me sound like a crazy person again.
He's not a real homeless man.
There's this homeless man that sits on my street yes please okay this is gonna make me sound like a crazy person again he's not a real homeless man there's this homeless man that sits on my street i'm telling you like there's something off about him he he's never like on drugs he's never like
crazy he just sits there and there's like too much life in his eyes i don't know how to describe it
but i don't buy it like straight up like and i don't know what to do happy no it's just like
is it like happy is it happy life not Is it happy life? It's not happy.
It's like, and it's not drugs.
He just sits there and he like, like sits there like with his legs, whatever.
He's always on that same corner.
And there's too much dirt on his face.
Like, like to the point where it's like you're intentionally putting dirt on your face, dude.
Like, there's no way.
I've tried to think of the activities that you could do in New York as a homeless man that would put that much dirt on your face.
Like, there's no fucking way, dude.
Then it rained.
So I saw him the day before.
I go, that's an incredible amount of dirt on your face.
I saw him the next day after it had been raining for a full 24 hours.
Still, the same amount of dirt on your face.
There were so many puddles that if you don't want the dirt on your face,
you can take the dirt off of your face.
The puddle?
I would more look at the sky.
Yes.
Just more the natural, like, when there's that much dirt on your face, I'm not kidding.
Like, it was so much dirt.
Sorry, I keep saying the word dirt on your face.
But there's so much that it's like, the natural, like, it had to have come off.
Anyways, so I just thought it was weird that like, okay, you were intentionally putting
this much dirt on your face.
Second of all, there's too much life in his eyes. Like don't know how to describe it he's not real and i don't know what
to do about it the the paint the picture you're painting i i agree yeah it does seem like he lives
nearby here maybe we take a field trip one day i do know what you mean that there you gotta have that you've got to have some life gone from your eyes. Yeah. Like, yours is a little gone.
Yeah.
Like, it is sneaky kind of fun about this job,
and I'm sure it applies to a million jobs,
when people show up, like, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed.
I'm so bright-eyed, bushy-tailed.
Yeah.
And, like, you pretty much just have black eyes now.
Like, there's – I actually really – I was kind of joking, and now I'm looking at it. You pretty much just have black eyes now.
I actually really, I was kind of joking and now I'm looking at it.
Jackie Nichols, the one you used to know, ain't here anymore.
And it's draining quick, too.
I would say the trajectory of the last, like, this past year, I think it's especially, like, gone.
But what was I going to say? Oh, and also what makes me worried,
what makes me think I'm becoming a crazy person
is when I see these homeless people talking to themselves,
I'm like, how do we know that they're not?
They're all talking to themselves.
They're talking to someone.
They're all doing it.
There's something that they're talking to.
So I side with them. You know what i mean when sorry oh my god that was insane what you just like said
that so like dainty like we were like do you know what i mean just talk about schizophrenic
homeless people covered in dirt not my not my easter painting do you know what i mean it's nice do you know what i mean
wait okay sorry i'm so adhd can i just jump around one more thing and we come back to that
ma'am the way that ma'am is spelled what's read in my head like ma'am
it took me like years to figure out when i was in school that like i was like why do all these
characters have stutters like when they're talking to women shut the fuck up i'm like not kidding
and then i realized that's just how you spell ma'am but it's like why is it spelled ma'am
uh yeah it's a reasonable argument ma'am i don't know why it's like why is it spelled like ma-mail? It's a reasonable argument.
Ma'am.
I don't know why it's like that.
It took me watching British shows with subtitles
to realize mum is how they say ma'am.
Oh.
Like I always – I'd watch like the BBC cop shows.
Yeah.
Like fucking – not Bridgerton.
What's that one called with uh olivia coleman and uh
we got broad church broad church um but like yeah yeah there's there's a ton of cops in the fall
and i was always like why are they calling them mom like yeah it was always like the chief of
police or whatever the superior officer as he's i a good thing? They just call the chief of police mom?
And I realized it's mom.
I don't think I realized that.
It's mom.
Yeah, so we have not figured out the word ma'am
in a better way between mom and ma'am.
None of them are good.
No.
I think you just say ma'am.
Yeah.
Strong argument.
Anyways, okay, sorry. So you're a homeless guy now you're talking about
their schizophrenia no so he's not schizophrenic like there's nothing i've never seen him like act
weird in any way so who is he talking to no he's not i'm talking about other homeless people okay
this guy like stands out to me because he's always there and he looks more homeless than the crazy homeless people I see talking to himself,
because he has so much dirt on his face.
But he's not, and he just sits there,
and you could tell he recognizes me.
I don't know how to describe it.
Just like, because you could see it in his eyes.
They're in love with him.
I'm like, obviously.
They're talking in his eyes.
He has so much potential,
and he doesn't even realize it.
That's what bothers me the most.
Anyways, so like, maybe, and you know how, like, spies,
they put homeless people as spies.
This is, now I'm starting to sound schizophrenic myself.
Yeah, what do you mean, like, you know, like, that's common knowledge?
They do.
Like, they put out, like, they make, like,
I actually haven't done zero research on this.
Yeah, I believe that.
I mean, I didn't believe it until I saw this homeless man.
But, like, but they will, like, make homeless people, make people sit out and pretend to be homeless people.
Who is that?
I actually don't know.
And I actually have done zero research.
So I'm going to, like, qualm this.
That's not how you use the word qualm, for sure.
Yes, I don't really know what you guys are supposed to do with that information.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that information.
I don't think you gave us any actual information.
I was lost on that one again.
Yeah.
Where did you come up with the idea that homeless people be spies?
Is that just something you saw in a movie once?
Well, because I was telling my mom about this homeless man, and she was honestly like, well, it's a thing.
What?
Where did she get this information?
I don't know.
And the two of us, between the two of us, we're not the most, you know.
The only connection I can make in my head is she trying to talk about, like, people coming across the border pretending to be.
No, no, no.
Like, she's just saying, like, because, like, shady stuff goes on in big cities.
And so you got to keep a lookout.
You got to keep an eye on Selena.
Do you know how many homeless people you would need to have activated as spies to catch one tiny crumb of useful information?
Yeah, it's kind of like, what's my little homeless man going to do?
Homeless people are, without a doubt,
the most dismissed and ignored group of people.
Well, exactly.
I know what you're saying,
but you don't stand over them and have a conversation.
You're turned off by their very existence.
You walk away from them.
No, but they know what to look out for, I would imagine.
So they see somebody walking around
with a briefcase, and they're like,
uh-uh, not
on my watch. This is 100% just
information obtained from
movies. I... Like,
a briefcase?
Okay, but wait, wait.
You see a guy
walking with a briefcase, you're like,
oh, I got it. You were just talking about how action movies, you, like, love briefcase you're like oh you were just talking about how action
movies you like love them because you're like you could can't you picture because of what
okay i actually the second i started that sentence i was like this is not gonna help
um but but like have you ever gone into washington dc ever gone to washington dc yeah have you ever
been in the spy museum in washington dc no i've not okay really cool museum you should go but basically they they like they say like
yeah stuff goes on in these cities like under your nose that you wouldn't even know about
so you think like then you take somebody like bond and you're not gonna talk like talk about
all your plans to blow up the city in front of him but you have the homeless man and you're not going to talk about all your plans to blow up the city in front of him.
But you have the homeless man.
And you're like, he's got no one in life in his eyes.
I got to tell you.
I believe that if I had plans to blow up the city, I would talk about them in front of nobody.
Yeah.
I do it inside a room with the person I'm going to blow it up with.
I wouldn't be on the street being like, this homeless guy is not going to tell anyone.
That's why it's like in the Dan Schneider documentary thing,
it's like one of the guys was just like, he wrote in his journal,
I'm a full-blown pedophile.
I want to rape kids.
It's like, why would you ever write that down on paper bro i write jokes in codes it's like oh my god keep that to yourself i've read like three code words
not code words but just i'm not writing it in code but it's just like shorthand yeah and i'm
still like i don't want anyone to flip through that yeah Yeah. I'm not writing like, I like the picture of him writing it like this. Like,
I'm a pedophile.
Like a full fist,
a full pen in his fist.
It's just like so easy to not write that down on paper.
And you've just caused yourself like,
so many years of jail.
Anyways,
Paz,
what are your thoughts on all this?
The homeless guy?
The spies?
The pedophiles?
The pedophiles? The pedophiles?
I'm really lost on the homeless spies.
I can't lie.
Because homeless people, like John said, are the number one people you avoid.
I don't think I've ever spoken to one in my entire life.
I would never tell them my plans to blow up the city.
But.
I guess I'm like friends with them.
So I go to bars and stuff with them.
That's true.
These are your people.
I'm like
oh i actually talked about my plans the world of the city in front of him
um i am i just looked up some threads to try to see if there's any evidence behind this
and there was one reddit thread about the best undercover cop would be a fake homeless person
dude there you go okay i yeah Do they expand on that at all?
Let me see.
Because I got to be honest.
I don't know if I believe them.
Lots of clever ways to work undercover.
So it's hard to say that one is necessarily the most clever of them all.
I'll draw upon my own experiences, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, this guy's really saying nothing.
He's talking about a state fair.
I got nothing for you over here.
Yeah, if you're referencing a state fair,
you probably don't know how homeless people are really treated in San Diego.
Okay, okay.
Well, maybe there is information that was online,
but the government said,
okay, we can't have everyone know about our homeless spies,
so they scrubbed it.
That must be what it was.
And here you guys are laughing in my face, but we don't fucking know.
Are you a pigeon spy person?
That's the thing with you fucking people.
It only just goes a level deeper.
It's like the government got rid of it.
Otherwise, I was right.
No, I'm not one of those people.
I don't want to be in with those people.
I just, I don't know. And with those people I just I don't know
And we're never really
Going to know
But I'll
Let's
I'll talk to him
No I'm not going to talk to him
I don't know
Alright
Okay anyways
Sorry I'm really
ADHD today
No you're good
The
We'll wrap this up
I just want to
You
Like
For next episode
Do a little
Mexico City planning Okay So you like Pick a episode do a little uh mexico city planning okay like pick a museum maybe pick
a restaurant yeah if anyone has um suggestions i there's like hot air balloons is a big thing
there i think i'm gonna try and do that that'd be cool um is that near like machu picchu or whatever
like can you go check out like ruins i don don't know. No idea. No idea.
Might be something to look into.
I think that there are things I can see.
Yeah, I bet there are.
Oh, I forgot about voicemails.
Okay, let's do two voicemails and get the hell out of here.
KFC fights Jackie Sup.
Rest of the gang, quick would you rather I just saw on Twitter.
Would you rather have to pay for everything in pennies for the rest of your life no matter what it is whether it's a house or a car or
whatever or have your only mode of transportation be a pogo stick so even if you are going to like
the bathroom or the fridge you have to use a pogo stick to get there. I don't think I've heard you guys do that one before,
so just wondering what your thoughts are.
Viva.
That's a great question.
Now,
little known fact about me.
Incapable of pogoing.
Really? I don't think I've ever
been on a pogo stick throughout my entire
life that can withstand my weight.
You don't seem like
you might be too top heavy you're too top heavy i think i think i just think you're just barrel
chested of a man i don't know if you can go at a pogo stick i think that's meant for skinny
individuals bro i'm sure that pogo sticks exist that can hold me. Yeah. I'm not like...
You're not fat.
That was a compliment.
That was a compliment.
But, like, I remember even as a kid,
like, when I would jump on a pogo stick,
it would, like, boom.
Like, it wouldn't come back up.
You were fine.
Like, I would be like,
this pogo stick doesn't work. And then my friend would be like this this i feel like this pogo stick doesn't work and then my friend would
be like it was this feels like something that's like like do you when you say that loud is it
kind of sad to admit like that feels like something i wouldn't say out loud Do you think that you've had
Bidysmorphia
It would make a cartoonish thud
And like I would try and try
As I could
And I could not
I'd jump off stairs
And I would just go
Like dropping a brick into water yeah it's like and i would just stand
there sometimes i would stand i like i'd land on the pogo yeah and i was still balancing but it
just didn't bounce at all so i was just like whoa that's um i don't know if they make any like
bigger versions of pogo sticks so i think think you've got to just nix it.
They do.
I'm not too...
I can fucking ride them.
I'm not a normally sized person.
I can ride a fucking pogo stick.
I know.
I can buy two seats on an airplane.
Well, it's also just like,
I don't think it would be crazy for you to be interacting with pogo sticks
that often to have this be a continual issue for you.
When I was young?
Yeah, pogo sticks abound.
It was...
I grew up in a very wealthy land.
Everywhere you look, pogo sticks.
Every color of the spectrum.
I'm just picturing you like pogo I as a woman
you are taught
not to jump up and down too much
because it makes your
tits saggy
and so I remember like already
having saggy tits
obviously going to my belly button as I've talked about
and I said, if I
pogo stick, they're going to
be down to my knees. So I
actively have avoided a pogo
stick ever since. So I'm with
you on this, like, fuck
pogo sticks, bro. I can't pogo.
I can't pogo. Because guess what?
No-go pogo. If I knew
if I knew... Thank you, Bowser.
I knew you thought there was going to be an eruption after that.
No, I knew.
I knew it was going to erupt.
No, it's good.
If I knew about the other situation, your situation, I would have never Pogo'd in my life.
Because I also have tits.
Yeah.
And I don't want them being saggy.
It's a fucking nightmare. It a bad as is and if i'd spent 20 years just fucking dragging these fuckers down then i'd be in a bad spot you'd be
like 16 year old jackie just have them like have you been working out your entire life, like, ever since you started?
Yeah.
But, like, I mean, like, there are long spurts of, like, I'd work out, like, twice a week.
It was actually after the Pogo season.
I started working out.
I said my dad got me a bench press for fifth grade for Christmas.
Okay. Okay.
Interesting.
But yeah, that's it.
Oh, so the answer is obviously it's pennies.
It's pennies.
Which is a fucking nightmare.
But at least I can count.
Yeah.
Like, and I actually think, weirdly enough, I think buying the home type deal with pennies would be less of a nuisance
than buying everyday lunch yeah because i'd like just bring the brinks trucks and you're like here
here's a shitload of fucking oh you're saying it would be less of a nuisance yeah i get that this
is like i gotta count out i know but are you allowed to have like those little like rolls
like are you allowed to have already i would think no okay then i might because the pogo situation it's already like
if i if i that's the only way i can get around anywhere i'm just like i'm living my life on a
pogo stick so it doesn't really matter like what is saggy and what's not because i'm i'm like pogo
stick girl like moving in motion of a pogo stick first and foremost I am pogo stick girl
then we get to my saggy tits
and all that stuff and my lunatic
personality
but like when people
are describing me they're like you know the girl with the saggy tits
no you know the girl with the fucking pogo
she does not get off the pogo stick
you can't tell anybody
you can't be like sorry i like lost the bed
it's just like no i just fuck with pogo everyone has their modes of transportation i wonder can
you take a car like am i gonna have to like cross-country pogo no i think we i think for
your standard trips cars and planes and all that stuff that's useful i think if it if it's under
10 blocks in the city you got a pogo yeah if you if it's a distance where you would have taken the subway yeah
okay that's a good point but i i think the nightmare of that again it's all it's the
little stuff i think that is the bigger problem like the nightmare of that is like you're sitting
around watching fucking crazy stupid love with your friends and you're like guys i gotta piss
and you gotta fucking get up and get around this table.
But, oh my god, you cannot live in New York because, like, the neighbors below would be like, this is a fucking neighbor.
The last thing I'll say is, like, with pennies, though, it's almost like it's just, like, slightly a nuisance.
Like, every time you go to dinner, people are like, why do you have to pay in pennies?
And if you can't explain it, the pogo thing is already like, now you only hang out with weird people.
If they're your friends, they accept you for the pogo, for being pogo girl.
So it's like, that's a lot.
You might as well just go balls to the wall weird.
Do you know what I mean?
I keep saying it.
Okay.
A little bit.
A little bit.
But also I think the pogo turns you into an asshole
because you can never get something for anyone like my number one move when i'm leaving the
room i can't get you anything yeah and the pogo i can't i can't bring anything back i got two hands
on the pogo over here i guess at some point you might be good enough i know there are people who
can like lock it to them and they bounce with hands but you get a backpack currently i yeah i gotta take a backpack to the kitchen that's crazy but then people don't ask you for
favors like that you're just like you guys i have this whole pogo like yeah but it's still like it's
a nice thing to say like hey i'm grabbing something can i get you something yeah and and you can never
say that on pogo stick also you can't eat anywhere how's the idea at the kitchen like you can't cook
in the kitchen and bring it to the fucking kitchen table. Because it's gonna...
Yeah, yeah.
You gotta just stand there and eat it.
But you could do, like, smoothies and...
You just gotta just...
Lose so much weight.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my god, I would get so scared.
You would finally be able to pogo.
I'd have tits down to my belly button, but...
Hey gang, I'm back with another drunken hypothetical here.
Ultimately, this is going to be way less involved than the last one.
This guy's no life in his eyes.
But really just looking to see if you guys would rather go bald or own a ferret.
You know, if you go bald, you're bald for the rest of your life.
But if you own a ferret, they live for like five to ten years.
That's five to ten years of your apartment smelling like absolute shit.
And then at any point in your life, someone could go, hey, didn't you used to own a ferret?
You're right back to being the guy that owns a ferret.
It's a sad, vicious cycle.
Any who's.
That was really funny.
And you're right back doing the guy.
You're going to fuck that guy.
He went to ferret, you know.
That would honestly, that could realistically affect future relationships.
Like if I was dating a woman and I went home to meet her family the first time
and her like high school friends or, nah, high school is like college.
Friends came over and like
Tiffany remember
when you had a ferret
yeah
like I'd probably be like
ugh
I'm kind of out on this
but over her being bald
uh
no
well that was
I was just talking
about relationships
okay okay
you were talking about
strictly ferret
the
yeah no
it doesn't beat you over being bald.
I don't think...
This is an interesting question.
I don't think we've ever had a question like this with a woman sitting here.
A woman.
Yeah.
I don't know if I just have low standards.
I don't really think I would care if he has a ferret or not.
But I don't...
But a ferret...
A balding can happen to anybody
a ferret an iguana a snake that's a certain kind of person that that tells you more about
who you're dating than the baldness does that's a good point the baldness is standard yeah
but a ferret honestly like if i could choose them to have a head of hair
But I just gotta deal with a ferret for like five years
Yeah
But this is like you're working this out
Like you are in on it
Like you're aware of the bet with the genie
Okay that's a good point
You're just like it's just a bald guy or a guy with a ferret
Yeah
You're right the ferret has a lot more baggage,
potential baggage.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm back on bald guy.
As for myself,
like I have to go with the ferret.
I can't be bald.
I have a weird shaped head.
You do?
I,
I,
I've talked about this where like,
I wore a bunch of,
were you a helmet baby?
No.
Did helmet babies
not become a thing
until more recently? I feel like every baby's got a helmet now. Really? I haven't seen... Were you a helmet baby? No. Did helmet babies not become a thing until more recently?
I feel like every baby's got a helmet now.
Really?
I haven't seen a baby with a helmet.
Maybe it's every celebrity's baby has helmets.
I held my first baby this weekend.
Oh.
Felt nothing.
You've never held a baby before?
It was really like, it was like, all right, well, this is not going to happen for a very
long time.
We're talking a decade.
Decades.
Nothing.
Did you, like, were you just scared?
I was very scared.
Or were you just like, this thing is annoying?
I'm not even scared.
I'm just like, this is a nuisance.
There was just something that, it was confirmation.
I was like, I'm not even scared.
I'm like, I'll drop this thing.
I don't give a shit.
It was a cute baby.
Nothing.
I like, I mean, I've like said this, where I can feel like just the hormonal shift
within me where it's like
I really
like I'll see a kid and I'll be like
I want that
I'm gonna get a baby
but I gotta like I gotta like tell myself
like just wait a few more
you know
or I don't have one in Mexico
that's so true that's so true just wait a few more you know yeah or i don't have one in mexico you go one of two ways you could wait a little bit or you could just fucking
i don't i don't let myself like look at like pictures of babies like on like pinterest or
anything like i'll see like families or whatever but i won't because i don't want to like
accidentally like manifest getting pregnant.
You know what I mean?
I actually think I have
child blindness.
I have five kids on my Instagram
all the time.
It's like friends. I don't follow kids.
It's Kevin's
kids,
two family friends,
David Andrews and Mackenzie Andrews, their kid, and one other buddy.
And they're all the same age.
And every time I'm like, that could have been any of the five kids.
They don't – granted, they are all white.
But I'm like that.
I'll be like, oh, that was – Kevin posted a picture of his kid. And I'll go back. I'm like, oh, oh, that was Kevin posted a picture of his kid.
And I'll go back.
I'm like, oh, no, that was David posted Ford.
Okay.
I see a kid.
I'm like, kid, don't care.
Okay.
That's really weird that you say that because recently, like the past three years, I would say,
I have like a weird dyslexia with kids where like, okay, so I'll see somebody walking.
I'll be like, that's a really short man.
And then I'm like, like oh it's a kid but for some reason this this happens really often where like this was not a mistake i
used to make before but it's like a dyslexia it's like that was a kid like that's obviously not a
really short man but i just can't like tell the difference it takes me a while to tell the
difference between a kid and a really short man that could be an issue that could be an issue.
That could be an issue, Jackie.
I don't know, that one's going to hold up the court, Jackie.
I'm not doing anything with either of them.
No one talks to the board.
He's like, yo, by the way, I'm not fucking the kids Just just to be clear. I'm not like trying to fuck these kids We've had a couple recent podcasts where age doesn't really seem to matter for you
Jackie's trying to get down our average.
I'm like, fuck, we had that.
Anyways,
yeah, that's just
a little issue I've been having.
And that's just a little bit about me.
And so I've stopped walking by
schools all day.
What is it?
The government hasn't said anything,
but I've thought it best for me to steer about 200 yards clear of schools.
Is that a line from somewhere?
No.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's one that I said in front of people,
like kind of expecting people to be like, yeah, I feel that.
Like I get confused.
And that was,
I was like,
wow.
It's like,
whoa,
is that a hot kid?
No,
I like to be clear,
I'm not sexually attracted to either.
Just,
just for,
to clarify things for you,
it's always going to be made sexual.
Yeah.
Anyways, to be clear, I didn't want to fuck the kids to be
clear it doesn't matter uh what was his what was his voicemail did we answer it
oh yeah i also think i am going to go i'm gonna shave my head I've been saying it for a while.
Oh, you are going to?
My last haircut, I was flirting with it with Erica,
where I was like, what would you do if I just shaved my head?
Because I'm terrified of Erica,
and I don't want to do anything to upset her.
And she was not as against it as I thought she would be.
She said she would not do it,
but she's like,
if you do it, you do it, and you'll come in, and I'll cut your hair again after that. And I was like, okay. I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to just dead be, you know?
Well.
Why what?
I was just kind of sick of it, you know? I don't know. I'm just kind of sick of hair.
Well, we've seen you bald.
Well, I wouldn of sick of it. You know, I don't know. I'm just kind of sick of hair. Well, we've seen you bald. Well, I wouldn't bick it.
Yeah.
But even then, it was just like, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't if I were you.
And also, I think it's so rare.
Bald me was not good.
That's for sure.
But it was.
I just remember my birthday party.
Everyone was like, who are these two bald men in the corner?
And that was a weird look on me to like, one bald man, it's like, okay, you have a bald friend.
Having two bald men is like jarring in a group of 20-year-olds.
Do you know what I mean?
No offense to Nate, but you can't be inviting two separate bald men to your 24-year-old birthday party.
Yeah, you're 100 right it's crazy
i should have talked in a british accent because you look like hello ladies
what she goes on to deny today fancy a cuppa um anyways i and also but it's just like so rare
that like a man your age has a full head of hair
that's kind of like why are you you know like that's that's that was fucking ridiculous no
sorry sorry sorry it's not super rare for a 35 year old to have hair that sounded so ageist
i just meant like it's super rare for a man your age to have hair. To not, to not.
No, that's not what I meant.
Because a lot of the 20-year-olds I know, they're starting to, the 24-year-olds I know,
they're starting to get whatever.
You don't even have signs of receding hairline.
No, trust me, I ask every time.
I'm like, we're still good, right? And she's like, no.
Because I'm always checking to make sure. I'm like, I can shave my head still, right and she's like no okay because i'm always checking to make sure i can shave my head so right she's like you can shave your
fucking head if you want yeah i mean you do i guess it's kind of like me in mexico city it's
like your mind's clearly already made up and there's nothing that you could do um all right
last voicemail what's up guys so my wife has this habit of looking up the latest doomsday scenarios
and then convincing herself that they're going to happen,
which is a wild way to go through life.
But this latest one, KFC,
it seems like something you probably at least know about.
I don't think you believe in it.
I hope not.
But there's an eclipse coming on April 8th,
and it's like the end of the world,
and there's an X over America,
and there's red cows being sacrificed
in Israel or some shit.
I don't know.
Did you hear anything about this?
And what's been your favorite doomsday scare in our lifetime?
Jackie, you're basically Kevin.
What do you have?
I don't.
I mean, again, in that scenario, it's just like if we die, we die.
There's nothing we could do about that.
Like, there's no.
Okay, so in that sense, you're more me.
Yeah, yeah.
But Kevin's also like that, too.
Kevin is also like, well, I'm not doing anything about it.
Yeah, I'm kind of like, I don't care what happens.
I just happen to like.
But you deeply care because you're trying to figure it out.
I don't care, but I, for some reason, like, reason like my brain keeps going without like it's a separate part it's like the gerbil in my head that it's
just like trying to figure it out but i don't really care it doesn't really affect me see
does he now now we're on the same page there but like my gerbil's like well i don't really
care i get that there's nothing we can do okay let's? Let's just fucking, let's just do cool shit.
Yeah, exactly.
No, I'd argue my dribble's smarter.
Let's just do cool shit.
There's nothing we can do to stop anything that we think might happen.
So let's just fucking have fun
and then whatever happens, happens.
Well, mine's kind of like,
if I'm right about this theory
about like the code and everything,
we are so beyond microscopic
that they don't give a fuck. you know it's like just do whatever you want i don't know we're just like you literally
don't matter yeah exactly no yeah you're good yeah yeah yeah okay so while you're figuring out
things yeah you're just getting closer to me so wouldn't the argument be i figured it all out
no because because i you know it's also
like why do i have to figure this out like why do you just get to like fucking chill and i have to
like literally do like learn about now i have to learn about like neural wait what did i even say
make you know whatever it's fucking called like oh my god i'm forgetting like why do i have to
like teach myself how to code now?
You obviously don't have to,
but the real deeper answer is misogyny.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I get to just chill
because I'm a man.
It doesn't actually matter.
I have not heard anything of this theory, though.
I just heard a little bit on it.
Pabst, I think he's a little more well-versed.
I'm really not well-versed. All i know is if you run into somebody who's talking
about this stay away stay away they got big ideas and they're dangerous what what day is it supposed
to be on april april 8th i do respect when they're like in a week like 2012 was like they're bringing
that one up for like five years yeah at least in a week we can. Like, 2012 was, like, they're bringing that one up for, like, five years. Yeah. At least in a week we can go, you were all idiots.
Yeah.
Like, because that's the thing.
The finite dates and stuff like that, that's nice because you can go.
But you're going to be an idiot the day after that.
Yeah.
Just so you know.
Yeah.
But when it's close to you, we can at least, I don't have to hear about it so fucking much until it happens.
Yeah, you don't have to, like, store, like, canned goods.
I don't have to have people trying to convince me every day.
What's today, April 2nd?
April 1st.
April Fool's.
It's April Fool's Day,
which I'm glad this has come up
because at about 12.15 this morning,
I got to text some Jackie,
hey, let's just read it.
Damn, I can't believe that we didn't you guys are gonna pull a prank on me that's so funny were you actually well i i so i was gonna text you
paps yeah and be like i was gonna text you too i brainstormed all morning i couldn't come up
with anything damn okay so i was last night i was gonna like text you and be like we should play
prank on john because i knew that ke wasn't going to be in today.
And then I was like, wait a minute.
I actually think that if we join forces,
because sometimes Pabst and I,
I don't know if we would have actually pulled it off.
I don't think so.
Well, I know for sure we're not going to pull it off.
Yeah, I know.
These are three people that are pretty far from pulling off anything.
Jackie said, it's April Fool's tomorrow.
I was going to text Pabst to pull a prank on you,
but I actually think it would be better if we joined forces
to pull a prank on Pabst.
What are your thoughts on that?
Now, I'd fallen asleep, and I woke up like an hour later and saw it,
and I replied, I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm in.
Yeah.
Nothing came from that?
Never got a reply.
Well, I was hoping that you had something
well i just wanted you to do the work i want the credit but yeah so that didn't end up working out
what what did you have i had nothing i i all of mine were like a little like i don't know
yeah i was like i could tell them i'm pregnant again like i've already done that no that was
no that was for um. Pranks are dangerous.
Pranks are dangerous.
I'm scared of pranks.
Yeah.
You don't know how people
are going to respond to the pranks
and then you might lose a friend.
Yeah.
Or you'll be reared.
I think I know how everyone
in here would respond.
Yeah.
This is a prankable crowd.
Yeah.
I think we'd all three of us have pretty similar
responses we're just like what i don't think that that's why i thought like playing prank on you
i don't think because like half the time you did like okay i actually got fights pretty good the
other day for about a half a second yeah that's right um yeah i don't think that yeah the three of us not a lot of passion in this room
i used to yeah jackie jackie was the last living person in here
sometimes people will really say something incredibly crazy to me like something i should
really deeply care about and there's just nothing i probably should really care about that but i don't i i i so get that i feel like um that's
how like i don't respond to texts ever i'll receive a crazy text yeah and for some reason i just cannot
get myself like if it's text form i cannot get myself to like even read the text yeah so if i
i was like what do you want me to do with that?
Yeah.
Also,
it kind of like in the office,
when there's a serious something,
Michael Scott and David Wallace
are going back and forth,
and Dave Wallace is trying to convince him,
he's like,
this is important, Michael.
He's like,
well, then email it, David.
But it's the exact opposite of that everybody says well fax it
where it's like if this is if you want if you're gonna text me something i promise i'm not gonna
get serious yeah because if it's if it's if i don't have the inflection in your voice yeah it's
not i'm like okay there's this this is not an important this is not important enough for you
to call me then it is not important yeah i agree with that i need i need to hear it like in your tone for me to actually like raise any concern it's funny we always talk
about like us three traveling it's like a nightmare we're like oh i thought that you were leading way
where are we going does anybody know what game we're at like we can't figure it out do you know
about the montana boys yeah I just learned about them.
Now, I'd heard of it, so I just sat down with Pat.
He asked me, do you know about the Montana boys?
And I said, I know about them through that.
They did a TikTok, Pat and Joey and, oh, excuse me, the whole Out About gang.
And then I learned that that's just, that's it?
That's it.
That's just what, that's it?
They just do that circle?
That they're, like, hot and.
Well, yeah, they're hot, for sure.
But I then learned that that's not their song?
Nope.
So how will you keep using the same fucking song for the same fucking video when it's not your song
wait what sorry what song the i got my head in a mess i don't know put it on it's luke holmes i
just learned but it is they're just fucking four guys who just do this to this song every time
yep that's really that's weird that's insane that the one of them's dating kristen cavallari right
yeah so she's just dating a TikTok guy.
I thought she was dating a guy at a country band.
Yeah, I kind of thought that too.
That makes it a lot worse.
I'm happy to hear.
Like, taking nothing away from the attractiveness of these.
They're four hot baseball players, for sure.
No doubt about it.
They play baseball?
No, they look like four baseball players.
That's such an accurate way to put it.
And they are, but like it's just the same song.
Yep.
Walking in the same circle.
That's insane to me.
And they don't do anything.
It's not like they're at least dancing.
They're just lip syncing.
They're just fucking like, I got my hand.
Are they dancing?
Not. I mean, they're like, yeah they're not i wouldn't say dancing what the fake gun is that's i don't hate
the player right but like this is what i mean with the goddamn algorithm jackie yeah if i could suck
the algorithm's dick and be a hot baseball player from fucking montana where they're from well
probably montana since they're called the montana. But, oh, it's with a Z?
Yeah.
Oh, by the way, I had
to do some tax stuff the other day.
By that, I mean file taxes.
What are taxes do?
Like two weeks.
Two weeks.
And
I had to go into our
back end,
whatever the hell you call it, whatever we have.
And my name is just Fights with a Z on, like, as far as, like, Barstool Sports knows.
It's just F-E-I-T-Z.
And then as who I report to, guess who I report to?
Well, what do you mean?
Who is your boss?
Yeah.
Platman? Yeah. Blatman?
Dave.
Nope.
Pirate dog.
What?
No way.
I don't know what that even means, guys.
I know I report to the pirate dog.
I'm Fights with a Z and I report to pirate dog.
Nice to meet you.
I wonder if this is like a...
Is this just not updated?
Obviously, but...
This is...
No way.
What?
I wonder if that's like a...
Like a they can't sue you type of situation.
Or it's going to be an issue to sue you.
Kind of like the whole...
Pedophile situation. You this is back when we were spreading money around like i don't even technically work here i work for pirate yeah you said you've technically worked
for like all the llcs right yeah but it was but they're all like they're all barstool except for
purple star for sure yeah do you do you know at all what Purple Dog is?
Huh?
Pirate Dog.
Pirate Dog?
I'm assuming it's something Barstool related.
Yeah.
But, I don't know.
I report to Pirate Dog.
That would be funny if Dave was just like,
I want to go to Pirate Dog.
There was a brief period.
I've been trying to get them to call me Pirate Dog my whole life.
But anyway, while Pat's looking this up.
Yeah, the Montana boys, I'm out.
It's kind of weird that like when tiktok was just like the the whatever dave called
them dick swingers the way to call them uh wiggle dickers wiggle dickers the like they were young
and that was yeah i'm gonna step on my own toes here a little bit that was okay
when you're a little boy it's fine but you're an adult man just fucking playing someone
else's music and just giving looks i don't know how i just think looking at a camera seductively
by a guy is weird i agree with that just like i think painting your nails is weird
that's kind of a joke about caleb william, but I thought that might fall on deaf ears.
The other kid, McCain, on Duke, he just got a nail sponsorship because he paints his nails too. I think it's more okay with – now, here, I'm going to say something.
Intellectually, it's completely fine, obviously, no matter what.
I don't want my quarterback paying his nails.
No.
Look, if I had the number one pick this year, I'd be like,
fuck it, who gives a shit, you're all idiots.
As someone who doesn't have the number one pick this year,
I don't want my guy being like Tom Brady.
That's all I can relate to.
I want the guy being like, I'm in here 24-7.
Not to say Caleb Williams doesn't do that.
I don't know. But there's just something
about my quarterback Peyton Isnells.
I wouldn't want it.
Again, if I had the first pick, I'd take Caleb Williams.
But now that I don't have it, I can say I wouldn't want it.
Yeah.
I don't know. For some reason, this is weird,
but when Caleb Williams does it, I don't.
I think that's weird.
But the other kid, McCain, I think he's cool when he does it.
I'm sure it has a lot to do with personality.
I'm sure that's because I like the guy McCain,
and I really don't like Caleb Williams' personality.
I don't know much about Caleb Williams' personality.
I saw his GQ spread.
I thought he looked cool as shit.
So I like him.
I'm a Caleb Williams guy.
I am probably personally more
Caleb Williams
than I am Tom Brady,
but I just don't like myself.
Yeah.
So.
I don't want anything
any like me playing QB.
Okay.
So I'll just end this
by saying fuck the Montana boys
and,
uh,
I don't answer to anybody
but the pirate dogs.
Suck my dick.
All right. That's it. it good podcast catch you guys later សូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បានប់បាាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you.