KFC Radio - Jackie is Convinced She Was Benjamin Franklin in a Past Life Ft. Sergio Chicon and Greg Olsen

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

- Who has better hair? Jackie or Feits? - Man whose d*ck fell off and regrew on his arm - KFC recaps Stu Feiner's Stu-Lapalooza - Johnny Notebooks: - Viral rapping girl gets cancelled - out on crypto - Johnny Poppers - Top 5 underrated food - Video Voicemails - taking parents to Chicago live show - ball botox (scrotox) - babysitting kid while listening to KFCR (ft. Benjamin Franklin segment) - Sergio Chicon Interview - Greg Olsen Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Timecodes: 0:00 - Who has better hair? 12:16 - Man with d*ck on his arm 40:44 - Stu Feiners Stu-Lapalooza 57:32 - Johnny Notebooks 1:23:13 - Top 5 Underrated Foods 1:41:42 - Video Voicemails 2:16:48 - Sergio Chicon Interview 02:16:48:01 - Greg Olsen Interview ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1800 Flowers: For $25 off 2 dozen assorted rose, go to https://barstool.link/1800FlowersBSS, click the radio icon, and enter code KFC Blue Nile: Go to https://barstool.link/bluenileBSS and use code KEVIN for $50 off $500 Hellofresh: Go to https://barstool.link/HFKFC and use code KFC16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts Roman: Go to https://barstool.link/Romankfc to get $10 off when you choose a monthly plan. Subscribe, Rate, Share, and Leave a Review! Subscribe to our youtube: barstool.link/KFCRADIO ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Let us know what you think on Twitter: @KFCRadio @KFCBarstool @Feitsbarstool @JNics415 @nickhammy5 @macczack21 @mikeypavssYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/kfcr

Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Bro, I think my balls are dead. That's what I'm ready for this. It's another edition of KFC Radio on the Barstool Sports Network. I hope you're watching on YouTube rather than listening because Final Perks air is fucking immaculate. Really? From my angle,

when you're looked this way, Oh, it's got like the fucking wave and the, I didn't even do it today. No, I just did it. I did like a, I put a little flesh and sea salt spray in it,

but I didn't even do it. You got the, that good hairline. Yeah. But that's what it kind of looks like, which is the Holy grail. You want to look like you didn't like, it looks good,

but you didn't do it. I was home. I didn't have, I didn't have a blow dryer home i didn't have i didn't have a blow dryer i didn't have nothing this is my hair holy fucking god and nobody commented what's wrong with your hair it looks the same jackie got her jackie jackie's been mad that's why i did this so jackie's been so mad that nobody commented on her i thought your hair does look great don't get me wrong until she said something once she said let me really burst my level. I was like, fine. No, no, no.

But that does not take away because I did have that thought, which is to say, which is an important point that I think we need to make. So I want you to watch here on the YouTube. Actually, can we get a shot of your hair? Do you have a camera on you? Or maybe you come out here. Do we have it on her? Yeah. Okay.

So leave a comment on the YouTube. Who's having a better hair day or who has better supermodel jackie check out the back do a full 360 here she's got or me or final or final mark jackie um she she said to us earlier today, Fights wasn't here yet, but it was us three, I think, right? Were you there for that? Yeah, and Zach.

And she's just like, nobody has commented on my hair. Not one of you. And it was like, what are we? What do you think is going on here? You guys get your hair cut, and it's just, you don't get drastic haircuts despite the fact that you think they do well i went i went back to my roommates and they said um you look like a soup what they're chicks yeah exactly that's the point it's like i like i need my girls to hype me up here too

and well you're right though you're right we do need we gotta be my girls here to hype me up that sounds like a zach problem We should be equal opportunity Hype men You didn't cut it did you I did cut it But you have like fucking 17 inch hair And you take an inch or two off If I had a 17 inch dick and I lost an inch

You wouldn't go alright It's still a long ass dick I'd be concerned about where that inch went. Oh, we're going to get to that. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sitting on my wrist. You got three inches taken off?

Yeah, I got three inches taken off. Out of like, I mean, you still have like 12 inch hair. That was like 15, right? That's longer than 12 inch hair. You got long ass hair. Yeah. You got like, the good thing you got three cut off or you would be like one of those weird horse girls that

have hair like down to their ass. None of you guys have ever made me feel good about this haircut today at all. I came in. None of you. Your hair looks great. Thanks. It's just that I. Just no.

Just leave it at that. You're right. You're right. Yeah. We got to preach. We complain a lot about the, you know, compliment butt or any of that. The back of your hair looks very nice. Well, the front does too.

We're done. We're done. We're done with this segment. The front does too. The back looks very different. They both look nice. Your hair looks nice. Well, Jackie says.

It looks okay, actually. I don't know. It's not the color that's bad. It's just like your style. You didn't even try today. In my defense, you just woke up, put on an Italian meat sweatshirt, came to the office.

No, and then that's the other thing. I was saying, because it's so fucking cold. I never even tried to wear anything. It was an igloo. It was amazing. So she's blaming. She's saying she's ugly because it's too cold in here. She goes, quote, you're preventing me from being a baddie because it's so cold in here.

I think your allergies are preventing you from being a baddie. You think I said that I'm preventing you from being a baddie? Wait, my allergies? Yes. Remember how this whole baddie thing happened? Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said you're preventing me from being a baddie. There's no way I said to you I think I'm preventing you from this whole baddie oh yeah that's right yeah yeah you you said you're

preventing me from being baddie there's no way i said to you i think i'm preventing you from being a baddie you lunatic you said verbatim you're preventing me from being bad remembering the verbatim and then and then she was like yeah i mean like she goes what do you want views or you want to be cool like cool in here and i was like well now we got to negotiate i didn't know you know it depends on what you're gonna wear over there i'll crank the heat up you know because i want the views that is a good important distinction like yeah all right you want to bring that to the table we have conversation i'm not interested in you know well let's keep it also like they'll be the group the views will even out. Because when I'm doing the podcast, certainly. Because the whole podcast will just be us going, it's so fucking hot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looking all gross. It's just a fucking fat man complaining about how hot it is. Be like, all right, I don't want these podcasts anymore. The YouTubers at home are going to be like, cut to the producer cam. Cut to the producer cam. I was like, yeah, you want to go full baddie, I will put the fucking heat on 75. We'll make it a tropical paradise in here

but we know that you're going to put on a fucking Italian meat shirt and come in we've talked about that your dirty Air Force 1 all Jackie wears

are sweatshirts of Italian restaurants it's bizarre not even you have what three or four now it's not even restaurants it's just the meat sometimes

it's like when you see you know when you see the other movie the Kevin Love commercials from Milk yes Jackie wears sweatshirts for the kevin love commercials for milk yes jackie wears sweatshirts for pork when you see commercials for avocados for mexico this is just like for the meat that is pork that's jackie oh yeah that because then when you called me out on it then i was like well i'm gonna keep buying i like that by the way i was proud of her she leaned into that she went and bought some pork shirts and i was like oh you're learning i'm gonna continue to

buy meat yeah you should and if it's you went and bought some pork shirts. I was like, oh, you're learning. I'm going to continue to buy meat. Yeah, you should. And if it's, you know, and if you want to buy like meat, like skimpy meat stuff. Well, grandita. That's that's that's possible. But she says, I keep going to the salon and I ask them to make me a blonde person and they don't make me a blonde person. I just say, oh, my God.

I literally verbatim make me into somebody who is blonde and they say, okay. And then I come out six hours later, not being a blonde person and it pisses me off so much. You take what's right here and you put it up here. It is not hard and it's so annoying.

But I said this and I think you disagree with me, but I am pretty sure they do that when it's like, you can't just go blonde. We need to ease into it or some shit like that, right? No, no. I've been dying my hair for whatever, years. Okay? Right here.

They did it right here. So they just have to do it up there. And it's so annoying. I want it everywhere. It's a fair complaint. Well, you know what else they do this? it's a fair complaint well you know what else they do this at the dentist sometimes

if you're getting like veneers and shit where they're like you don't want to make them too white because then it looks no bitch give me fucking

I want my shit to be sparkling white you're who? Bobby Firmino he plays for Liverpool he has the most outrageous teeth in history

they're huge and they're fucking as white as that light. Give it to me. I don't want when people are like, you know, let me match it to like your canines. Like, I don't know, my fucking canine's like 35 years old. Give me some 15 year old dirt teeth. Like, give me that shit.

Come on. So anyway, comment below. This is actually all just one elaborate ruse to get you to comment on the YouTube. That's amazing. What color hair is Jackie? That is amazing what comes of it. It's very frustrating when you want a color hair and the internet says you have a different color hair. I feel you, girl.

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your arm, and then replaced it where your dick was supposed to be, like this man from the UK, who is not new by the way. This gentleman has been around. I've heard tale of it. This gentleman has been around. Now it's back on his pubic area. It's always a UK guy.

It's always Brits. Yeah, they do weird things with their dick. They have the biggest dick and they wear like the biker shorts they have the replacement dicks but this one this is first this is crazy that first of all it looks just like the guy who killed hotch's wife for all my criminal minds fans um the boston reaper uh uh something foyette uh i forget but it looks like looks like foyette, second of all here. Um, so wait, wait, wait, wait, let's tell the story. I actually don't know the story. The quote, the quote was just that his dick just fell off, just fell off, dude. And can you imagine?

It was like some kind of fucking, um, blood clot or, or, uh, some situations comparable to that. Um, scroll up. It was, it was earlier where it was like it it well the the tweet was like my penis fell off but it regrew on my arm and now i'm a real man again and yeah he said uh it just dropped off onto the floor after he suffered an infection in his perineum yeah your perineum is your dick tip no. It's the little space between the balls and the taint. Yeah, the taint.

So you got an infected paint. And I mean, that makes sense because that's kind of where you're connected. If that thing falls apart, that bridge, it's just like your dick just falls off, I guess. Yeah, it is. Wait, no, no. Well, no, no, no. It doesn't attach to like above your balls. It goes dick, balls, taint.

So if you get this infected, your balls should fall off before your dick falls off. I think his whole thing fell off, right? But I think it's just blood. Did the dick and the balls fell off? I think so. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But the way it says it just fell to the floor.

You know what I'm picturing? Can you imagine you just wake up and you stand up out of bed and your dick falls off? I'm picturing. Dude, I would be like, I'm still dreaming. I'm going back to bed. This is a fucking nightmare. I mean, Kevin McCallister when he's walking home with the groceries and they're too heavy in the bag and they just fall out. Dude, what if it fell out when you were like at the store?

Right. Like what if it like hopefully he was. I guess. No, because he's got pants on. Well, yeah, but then you'd be like, what the hell, what is that? Yeah. Because, like, the way he says it, the way he describes it, it seemed like it wasn't painful. So, like, it's just, like, something like, what the fuck is, like, on my knee?

I think if you get to the store, I would imagine, let me see, my dick fell off right now. I think it would be, like, a little bit uncomfortable, right? But I'd kind of be scratching or whatever. And then I'd get home, and I think you take your shit off and it just falls yeah yeah I think yeah like like look for a dick come from like if I just had like a thing just like oh there I'm calling it go shit on my dad no way it was had something like in there and then it was just like fall let's go down the leg went right down my leg yeah yeah yeah so if my wallet could fall down my leg my dick definitely could dude yo oh that's what i'm saying it would be you'd catch it on your knee like you'd kind of

start hobbling but what the fuck is that like a hole in my pocket was that also my phone depends no that's my fucking cock depends on your on your dick day too yeah because i'm thinking if i had a three-quarter like no not three-quarter like but just like a good dick day too. Yeah. Cause I'm thinking if, if I had a three quarter, like no, not a three quarter, like, but just like a good dick day where it's, I think I'm having a solid one today. In case you didn't notice.

If I fell off right now, I'd notice. That's what I mean. I think there are times I'd be like, I'd be like, I step on a rock. Yeah. This time.

I think right. If, if my dick fell off right now, my balls would catch it I think it still it would be on top yeah like a kid with a big glove

in the house it would be sitting oh I got a pop it would be sitting on top of my dick and then when I took my clothes off it would fall off

my balls but if I had a if I had a good dick day where the tip is over the edge it would it would tumble off because of the balls. By the way, I do have, thanks to D-Lo.

Yeah, one nut. I have. One nut D-Lo. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh, I thought that's what you were going to be talking about. I just meant I have unedited image. Oh, you do? Yes.

And is it real? How about this for a shocker here? British man. Not circumcised? How about this for a shocker here? British man. Not circumcised? Went with a circumcised. Went with a circumcised dick here. Yeah, usually those guys are anteaters. Yeah, the Brits.

So for those who don't know what we're talking about, there's pictures of him in the post. So, okay, we're getting all over the place. So his dick, quote unquote, just falls off. I'm still not sold on that. I think he was doing something reckless with his penis yeah and he doesn't want to talk about it doesn't fall off right uh and then they you know you hear these stories where people i've mostly heard about ears they regrow ears on different parts of your body this was they grew a dick on his forearm on the outside of his forearm because i also also heard stories about you get like you can grow like a second stomach inside your body.

They could do a lot of growing shit. So they put it on his arm. And then when it was fully grown, because you still need blood flow and all that shit to grow like skin and body parts. So you grow a dick on your arm. They take it off the dick, the arm. They put it back on your crotch. The post pictures pictures it's him like with his fucking sleeve rolled up but it's a blurred out pixelated yeah so that you have

unedited that i have on not of that not this photo shoot i have unedited images of okay let me see now i want to see it i texted the pads okay oh you're gonna put them up there. Okay, yeah. Oh, yikes. Wait, why did you put the thing right over the tip? Yeah. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. I got a video. Oh, oh, oh, the video. Oh, oh.

Give me the video, Babs. I have one on the bottom. This is, this is, if you on the bottom. This is... If you're gonna... Wait, maybe he's not circumcised. Nah, he's circumcised. Oh! Dude, that's a shit... Actually, in the picture, I thought it was a solid dick.

That's a shit dick. That's a terrible dick. That dick's... Hang on, hang on, hang on. If that's his dick soft, I don't know how the blood flow works. Look at that. That's like a four-incher if it was soft. Why is he covering the head so much? Show the head, you pussy.

He's embarrassed. He's circumcised. You fucking idiot Brit. That's the way it's supposed to be. Oh, that's a thick dick is what it is. Yo, that dude's about to blow himself. way it's supposed to be. Oh, that's a thick dick is what it is. Ah! Yo, that dude's about to blow himself. That dude's gonna suck it. Yo, that fucking pervert

that's sucking his shit. Oh my god. That dude goes to bed every night with a fucking binky and it's his cock on his arm. So obviously there's no cum in your arm. But does it have the same feeling

of a dick no I don't think it has the feeling of an arm that would get I mean the way he's playing with that

he'd fucking start to chub up a little bit if he had any well cause yeah so I guess you'd probably put it no I don't know dude no cause that can't

get hard cause bro what if he starts to get like there's a it's easier to fucking tuck it up than it is to fucking you gotta carry

you gotta carry around a wrist watch with a couple extra links on it in than it is to fucking... You got to carry around a wristwatch with a couple extra links on it in case you're there fucking pin that bad boy down. I mean, yeah, you got to just pull your sleeves down and kind of just... Imagine you're standing over there.

I mean, the thing is, though, your dick getting hard... You think that dude tried to fuck himself on the ass ever? Where do you think you'd be able to? What? I mean, if he can get hard, that dude tried to stick that in his ass ever uh where do you think you'd be able to what like i mean if he if he can get hard that dude tried to stick that because i think this is actually a very

interesting question when you get hard it's blood the blood flows to your dick but maybe it flows to your groin i think no i think it flows to your dick but i just think but would your body know that's a dick no it wouldn't there's a different vein set up like like right like i don't think there's so he's gonna so they're gonna go connect but they're growing it through know that's a dick? No, it wouldn't. There's a different vein set up. Right. I don't think... So they're going to go connect. But they're growing it through blood. That's why you need blood flow and shit. But I don't think it's the blood. I don't think the veins are running all the way through.

You don't think it's the corny blood? Yeah, yeah. I don't think it's got that kind of vascular system. I think your body has healing blood and horny blood. And I think the horny blood is something totally different. We can't put this on YouTube, though blood is something totally different. Can we, we can't put this on YouTube though, but can we put it,

we put it on Twitter? Uh, probably through a burner. Yeah. Let's do that. We're going to, we're going to tweet this out and, and we need to almost create a burner that is specific.

The under this dick. No, no, no, don't be wrong. There's no under of a dick. That's good. She's over there with her there with her brunette hair

and be like, cosign! Yeah, I think it was Soda. Soda's got a great joke about that where Soda says a dick's like a bridge. It looks nicer on top, but then you see the under of a dick. Jesus Christ! You know what it is? It's that it's that, like...

It's the Batwing. The Batwing's a little weird. The Batwing is... No, I mean, yeah, yeah. I mean the top thing. The top. It's like a little house. It's like an arrow. You have that

and then you have this, the seam almost like runs down the middle. The thing that connects to the head. But that's supposed to be covered because of circum... Yeah, so we fucked it up. I can't...

But I still... Wait, wait, wait, wait. See, okay. Let's just one thing at a time here. Why start now. It's bizarre. It's one of the only things I think circumcising that we do. That's totally unnatural.

That is like the right way. You know, like what else in your body? It's like, okay, you come out like this, but we're going to, we're not going to let your body grow like how it usually out like this but we're gonna we're not gonna let your body grow like how it usually like normally grows you know what i mean yeah like why why is the dick why are we not evolved beyond that because it does get dirty and infected and all that shit so why doesn't the body be like why you know why do we why does it is the natural thing to cover your dick tip fucking protection or something yeah just keep it sheathed sheath. That's a porn word now. Sheathed? Yeah. Why? I don't know. I just feel like

when you said that, I was like, ooh. I've never seen it in porn, though. Sheathed. No, but you know what I mean? It's erotica. Huh? It's in, like, erotica. In erotica? Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard a fair deal of erotica. I don't think I've stumbled upon sheathed. I feel like sheathed

It's more like he unsheathed yes yeah yeah like the action of it by taking that's not erotica that's fucking lame housewife fiction yeah but if i'm dog i want erotica what else are you gonna i want fucking you're sheathing a sword in the dick but you don't really sheath the dick i've never unsheathed my penis not once well've taken my pants off, I've taken my dick out circumcised guys have they unsheathed that shit they pull that shit back

god I'd kill myself if I was uncircumcised alright now back to this freak show so this guy does have blood flow in his arm I would be fascinated those look like balls, by the way. Yeah, yeah. When he holds them up, that looks like a long ball day.

This is, I think, did this dick, I think you could tell right away. It's bad dick. Like, you'd like, I reference this scene quite often, but from Nip Tuck, when whatever the doctor's name is, he has sex with a trans person. He knows right away, he's like, that's a fake pussy. Yeah. I think you would, and I'm like, wow, what a scientist. That's a grown dick. How does he know away. He's like, that's a fake pussy. Yeah. I think you would. And I'm like, wow, what a scientist. That's a grown dick. How does he know that?

You'd go, that's a fake dick. Now, wait. You touch that dick. Do he pick up his severed dick? Or is it fully grown? I think that's a fully new dick. That must have taken a long time. Yeah.

Yeah. Right? Or maybe not. The human body is wild sometimes. Yeah. We grew that in like 72 hours. I was going to say, it took me a good 15 17 years to get a dick like that i'm still waiting i had to grow that thing for a long time imagine that dude 60

years old like it's gonna take 17 20 years it's like whatever man i got nothing but time yeah just attaches my coffin so the mortician doesn't think I have a little dick. The, so blood flow is going, I would be so fascinated if you got horny and your arm just went. It would be that. Like,

would your body like, no, like, all right, they moved the dick. It's on the forearm now. But, send the blood though.

If they said that my forearm dick that I was growing couldn't get hard, I'd say not worth it. I don't want a dick. I'd say, I'd say, I'd say not worth it. I don't want a dick. I'd say, you know what? Fuck it. Why don't you do a pussy?

I've always been looking to diddle myself. I'd rather be a chick than nothing. If I just lost my dick, I think I'd go, throw a pussy on me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Would you rather have no dick or a pussy? I'm taking a pussy 100 times out of 100. How old is this dude? This dude's like 50-something probably?

Dude, I'd be like, look,'s like 50-something probably? Dude, I'd be like, look, I live 50-odd years. 47. 47. Half and half. 47 years with a dick.

First half of the pussy, first half of the dick, second half of the pussy. Yeah, I'm gonna fucking... Coming out after halftime with a fucking clit shit. Take a puss for a whirl. Yeah.

I'm not gonna fuck guys. I'm just gonna fucking play with myself. Well, we'll see. I mean, tell you what, you go home with this guy thinking he's just a gay fella,

and then you fuck him in the pussy. It's going to be... You're going to be disappointed. Imagine this exact guy. He's got a dick arm, but a regular pussy. Imagine that. Imagine if he's got a... You're fucking him and you're...

Yeah, I might do that. I'd be like, hook me up with a pussy, but might as well strap a dick on there. I'm going to leave this baby. I want to please everyone. This, when he moves it and it flops around is crazy. That's what's crazy. It is wild, dude.

This has just been up on the screen for so long. I keep looking back thinking it changed. Yeah, it does feel like silly putty. You're right. Yeah, it looks like... I've grown this dick before. It left a gnarly scar when he cut it off. It looked like he had the scar already.

In the wrong spot, though. The pictures are so goddamn funny, dude. That one where he had to do it to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did an engagement photo shoot with his dick arm. They're like, okay, now pose like this. You can tell a photographer posed him too like somebody's like all right let it dangle like turn it down nobody sits like that jerking it off

he's like come on let's get a little hard imagine you know when we do the helicopter and we're going like this imagine just i don't know if i'd have the rhythm actually this is yeah this is one of the hardest things to do you know you do these things when you're a kid and you're like oh i can do like a million of those you're like 10 seconds i don't know that i'd have the rhythm actually this is yeah this is one of the hardest things to do you know when you do these things when you're a kid you're like oh i can do like a million of those you're like 10 seconds i don't know that i think i think oh no i've done it i don't have ever gotten like tired how long do you think you do that for i don't know let's find out i think i think like a minute and a half you'll be burnt okay um well let's talk we'll just keep talking while you do it yeah yeah start timer um yeah yeah no so do you think that this guy waited till he got his dick or like has he been dating and shit could you imagine being like oh he you wait dude you wait imagine being like i got

something to tell you wait and they're like what is it and you're like it's it's it's a weird like sexual thing it's like oh have you like really slept around or like what is it and you're like it's it's it's a weird like sexual thing it's like oh have you like really slept around or like what are you doing it's like no bitch no bam no my dick fell off and this is like oh my god you don't have a dick anymore it's like no i do it's just on my wrist she like i think right away i did it up i think i think we mean speed up this is how no you don't do like that this is have to do it like that this is how you do it you're like this this is how you do it man this isn't an exercise this is a stretch bro

this is the uh I think a woman right away would call bullshit be like my dick fell off be like what the fuck were you doing that thing

like like us guys like yeah that could definitely happen in case I ever want to get into something weird in my older life do you think it fell off

because of like I think I think he had a a get a cock around way too tight yeah and then and then he had to cut it off yeah like that do you think that or you think it could like rot or something uh i think probably it rotted and they cut it off he cut it off i feel like he you need to get to uh a real low like it's got to get real bad for your dick to fall off, right? But at what point... What color were you together before you were like, time to try it. See what they can do with science because this is not working anymore

when she pulls down my fucking pants and it is a gangrene. I feel like it had to be this color. I think... He just went through all the fucking things. He's like, I'm going to Shrek cosplay party. He's trying constantly to have different fucking things. He's like, I'm going to Shrek cosplay party. He's trying constantly to have like different excuses. And finally, he's like, I think you would need to like for me, once I knew there was a problem, it's too late.

I'm not showing anybody this dick. You know what I mean? I have a perfectly healthy penis and I'm still self-conscious about it. You don't pretty often. Don't show it. like to have to go to a doctor and they're like well what happened and you're like well i uh you know i like tied a noose around it and now and i did that for like a few weeks now it's too late what's with the potato up your ass it's not the same thing separate incidents

dude there was another story i don't think i covered it on this show there was another story I don't think I covered it on this show There was someone who put Like a big thing up their dick hole But it wasn't like a little The rod I don't know what show that was on It was like 20 feet of cable wasn't it

Something ridiculous We're about there What are we at Paps 2.30. 2.30. You got an extra minute. Yeah, we were getting there. I could have got another minute, but I would have started to sweat.

USB cable. Backfired. Bro, do you know how long? So long. I can't take you to shopping. You're like, poof, bored. Just sit there with a dick and be like like god damn Fuck I used the long one Son of a bitch

I think it was also though How many inches of USB cable Did it push into your own body I might have gone too far This kink might have gotten out of control I think I saw something about a dumbbell recently Yeah yeah yeah Was that in his ass though I don't think you about a dumbbell recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was that in his ass, though?

Yeah. I don't think you get a dumbbell in your dick. This is another one. This is what we covered on the Kevin Clancy Show. This one we did? Yeah, this one we did. Yeah. Six-foot string.

Six feet of string. Six feet of string. Yes. God. Right. Because to push six feet of string into you, probably at least two and a half, three minutes. So you're getting sore being like that to push six feet of string into you by at least two and a half, three minutes. So you're getting sore.

I feel like I have. I've said I will always try anything once. There's also been many things that I swore I would never like. And then I'm like, oh, never mind. I can pretty much. I really think stand here and tell you today. Nothing's going on my dick hole. I think I can really say

that confidently it is well i mean look here's the deal a lot of people get shit stuck in their four years john and and like that i mean it stands to reason that like there's got to be something about it that's appealing can your penis get stuck in vagina good question how about the one that yeah can couples get stuck together these are some dumb ass questions i mean dude speaking of weird kinks did you see the trent yesterday smelling the feet yes yeah how funny is that chick alex cole never heard of her before um i i like how i thought those things were like basically you just take pictures at him i like how alex cole is just like is the money pictures at him. I like how Alice Cole is just like the money green. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw Roy Woods Jr. retweeted something where someone's like it's her just shaking her ass in a guy's face. And he's like, thank you, Queen or whatever the fuck you say to shit like that. Yeah. Wait, maybe he retweeted it. Yeah, it seems like you did. That's kind of bullshit. Like, don't worry.

I got it. I was like, yeah, there it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was on of bullshit. Pat's like, don't worry, I got it. He's like, yeah, there it is. Pat's had it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, that was on your likes, right? That was on mine, yeah. Yeah. I went through us.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was all over. I was doing my work. I was doing my work. No, it was Alex Cole is her name. I think she has three X's. I don't really know.

This video is pretty great, though. Yeah, that ass is slimy. I mean, look at that. Throw your ass in the air, girl. That ass will knock you out. That ass is a waterbed. Yeah.

But the, uh, the, no, I can't figure out his phone. Uh, go to Trent. Trent quote tweeted a video with her in it.

I love when he, when Trent just said, getting this sense a lot. Yeah. I mean, it looks, it looks, I'd seen it before him and it looks just like it. And I hadn't thought in it. I love when Trench is getting the scent a lot. Yeah, I mean, it looks... I'd seen it before him, and it looks just like it, and I hadn't thought of it.

But the point here is that his is gone, too? I think I screenshotted the guy. He's really into feet. But the other one was a fucking guy getting his ass, or her ass shaking in his face. And someone quotes me, and it's like, you're definitely waking up with pink guy.

And like, shut the fuck up with that. Let me tell you what. No, you're not. Yeah. I can fucking all but guarantee you. You're not waking up. I don't think pink guy's real anymore. I think pink guy's tired trope of like when ass eating got big and people

even when people talk about like farting on your pillow and all that shit. It's like, you know, I'm a fucking pink eye is fake. That's such a tired trope of like when ass eating got big. And people, even when people talk about like farting on your pillow and all that shit, it's like. Yo, I'm a fucking pink eye truther. At this stage of my life. Look, dude. It's been like fucking 10 years I'm a pink eye. If I haven't gotten it. If I haven't gotten pink eye.

Between their asses, my ass. Like all sorts of shit, dude. Like I don't doubt that you can get, like, conjunctivitis or whatever it's called. Like, you can get eye infections and shit. That's for sure real. Just getting it from, like, buttholes is not happening. I don't think buttholes are even dirty.

Nowadays they're not. I think we might have to find out what poop's deal is. Poop. Just headline, poop. What's your deal? What's his deal, dude? dude poop just fucking fine well no i think i think with the advent of uh porn and and and butt stuff and ass eating this is human humankind's assholes are sparkling this is the evolution you were talking about yeah Yeah. Compared to, you know, of yesteryear, I mean, people's assholes must have been a holocaust.

Just an absolute, like, just a concentration camp. Just a dead, like, just awful, man. He's using awful words. Yeah, I was going to say a trail of tears. But like now, I mean, certainly chicks, but now even guys got to get into it.

And you get your manscape action on. And it's just like, it's all the inside. Everything on the outside is fine. I'm not going to recommend you go in there with, well, you know what? It's all fine. It's literally all fine. What's the deal? I'm like an explorer who's been to space.

It's fucking fine, guys. It's not dangerous at all. I promise you. You know what we really need? And maybe we kind of have this. I don't know. You know when you come back from space or something, right? You walk into like an airlock.

The door closes yeah then the other one opens you almost need that for the poop so there's like poop empty room asshole the asshole really isn't up against the poop all that often you like a poop chamber you know and that way when you're fucking and eating and all that it's like yeah you're not actually getting towards the poop you're just getting to the empty room tight room yeah yeah yeah you're getting to the parlor if you will the mud room that's rather the mud room of the asshole you guys would benefit the most you're welcome we've fixed human anatomy just fucking get a

mud room implant yeah no i mean unless you're really fucking disgusting but that's the thing like i i i always hear uh i don't know where i hear this i feel like it's maybe almost urban legend type like thing it just feels like or on the internet or reddit or whatever where you hear about girls who like wax for a living and they're like you know like like be comfortable in your skin because i promise you there are disgusting creatures that's. It's like we're wondering if you're a good person. You are. Yeah, just hang out in public for a day. Yeah, you'll realize. You're fine. It's like I see, I have to wax

the crevices of like woolly mammoths, you know? So if you're even a remotely looking good looking person, like even if you're like Jackie, it's like you're fine. I asked Jackie, would you rather be the hottest smart girl or the smartest hot girl? What do you think is better?

Jackie was like, well, I'm neither. I would say being the hottest smart girl is better because now that the smartest hot girl I fucking forget the one that's less smart that to me would be the smartest hot girl that stereotypically speaking is like when people say I'm the tallest midget

like hot girls are generally not smart is what the idea is so if you're the smartest of them that would mean you're still very smart but what I mean I wouldn So if you're the smartest of them, that would mean you're still very smart. I wouldn't want to be really, really smart. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to be smart. This is a fucking choice, folks. I opted

for this brain. I could fix this anytime I fucking wanted to. I could be a genius right now if I wanted to. Because it's just insufferable. You don't want to be around a person who's fucking really smart. I watched Midnight in Paris the other day. Not a very good movie. It was fine. It was a little slow but what's that it's uh woody allen owen wilson uh why would you watch that it's it's woody allen movies suck it's one of those ones where like it keeps going back to the like like for like six times it's like you know we

know what happens at midnight he goes into like the past and shit and it's like then they come back to the future but there's one guy in it and it's uh michael sheen plays him who is not related to any of the other scenes uh he's a brit but he's he's he's just he's really smart and he's insufferable because that's what really smart people are because they can't keep they can't they have to chime in because they know the answer smart which i i i give them credit for that i wouldn't shut up if i was knew i was right too i almost think the opposite too though when're really smart, everyone to you seems like a dumb asshole. True. So, like, Kate Beckinsale is, like, 162 IQ or whatever.

And Howard Stern had her on. She was kind of like, I, you know, like, I haven't really found anybody. That's why I think she was fucking MGK and a couple other like, you know, kind of like lower level guys at the time. Because I think she was just like looking to get some dick and just be like, whatever, let's just party. Because I'm, you know, every guy I even tried to go out with who was like smart, I'm like smarter than him. Yeah. And then you get to the mansplaining and all that shit. So it's like, it's just better to be kind of dumb.

Yeah. Look, I got, I got no. I'd rather, you know, it is like the perfect. I said, I said, if I lost my dick, I'd rather – you know what? It is like the perfect – I said if I lost my dick, I'd be like throw a pussy at me. If I lost my brain, I'd be like, let me get the same one. I don't – I might go a little lower. Don't make me like a genius.

Don't – I might go a little lower. Just a little bit. You know, we talk about those people who are just like very content. Like I want to be smart enough to like hold down a job and like have a conversation, but like just not much ambition or any of that where it's like i could do this you know like i i could let me like let me achieve this like no you don't even think about doing no you just chill i like that it's great i said the

perfect spot is to be the golden retriever of humans you're like nice and you're loyal and you're beloved you're good looking like you got that nice like hair or whatever and you're pretty dopey but also like you can fetch and roll over like you're not like like completely useless you know it's like uh like that's a dog that if you wanted to i think it even retrieves right like it's a thing sure that like it's got some skills but it's regarded as you know you're not like a poodle where you're like all smart and shit. And that's why I do believe the golden doodle is kind of the perfect blend because you get the smarts of the poodle with the hypoallergenic. And then like the dumb, you're kind of like a dumb jock when you're a golden retriever, you know? And that's kind of what I want to be as a guy.

I like that. Just I would be pretty. Hey, girls, I'm pretty and I'm loyal. And like, you'll like me, but, me, but don't ask me to like. Let's not have an engaging conversation. Talk about the weather. Yeah, my brain just shuts off. Yeah.

My brain never, it doesn't even turn on or off. It just is. It's just there. My dogs just stare out the window all day. Yeah, I love it. That's a dream right there. Something goes by. Tail wagon goes away.

Goes down. What the fuck was that? I don't there. Something goes by. Tail wagon goes away. Goes down. What the fuck was that? I don't know. What was that? I don't know. Get back to me. Yeah, I mean, that's the life right there to be a dumb dog. Before we get into the notebook, we also have Sergio Chacon and OG Stoolie Greg Olson on

the show today. Of course, voicemails. I got to just recap a little bit of Stoolapalooza, which is what it should be called, Stoolapalooza. How many people were there? Hundreds. Really? It is a wedding. I got the invite on the train.

I was on the train. I went back home this weekend. I got the invite on the train, and I was truly devastated. It is a wedding without any of the wedding. Where there's no bad part. Yeah. But none of the bad parts of the wedding. It's great.

There's a tent. There's the dance floor. There's a band. There's like a barbecue set. Like the food is more, you know, burgers and dogs. But then they brought out like pulled pork and pulled chicken. And I think late night was like steaks. And I didn't say the whole time because it started at 9 a.m and went till like 9 in the morning it was like what it starts at 9 a.m

for like the kids and the younger people and then i got we got there pretty early more like probably around like 12 or 1 we went i went from like 12 to 6 uh but he has state he was like the band is basically from 12 to 6 and then from 6 to this was like, um, somebody comes on and DJs. And then late night was Stu. One of Stu's sons DJs. So he like DJ Stu, you know, DJ finer or whatever he is comes on and starts,

you know, makes it like a real party. But, um, first of all, they did the national anthem. I saw this tweet doing a national anthem at a backyard party is so awesome. Like, I didn't even think it was really going to happen.

And then all of a sudden people stood up and were taking their hats off. And I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, like, we're fucking doing this. It was originally supposed to be, Stu was supposed to run the half marathon or the marathon, whatever this weekend was. And he never trained and he never did it. But he was like, we're throwing the party anyway. Which I think was just like. I like that.

Yeah, I think it was a sneaky way to get Sandy to agree to do a party like i'm gonna do this thing and it's gonna be great i'll get in shape and that'll be the trade-off you'll like it but then i get a party never did any of it just cut right to the party does the national anthem the woman who sung it i swear to god anyone not named whitney houston she's the best anyone i've ever seen not named whitney it was incredible and it was like her own kind of rendition up and down. We were all like, what the fuck? Then Stu hops on the mic and delivers no gas, no lie. One of the funniest lines I think I've ever heard in my life.

He's thanking everybody. All really heartfelt. Great Stu. And he's like, Sandy, I love you. 44 years. 44 years. You're amazing amazing i can't believe you put up with me i can't believe i'm so lucky that you're still with me somebody kill me out of respect for my wife i love my life i love my wife so. Someone should murder me to make her life better. That is so fucking funny.

But just the party was incredible because there was like a bounce house and one of those inflatable water slides for the kids. The pool was heated to 88. So even though it was cold, people were swimming. Tons of food. Obviously, tons of booze. There was a station for weed that they brought in like a local dispensary, I guess, where you could buy like $20 pre-rolls or $40 eights. Tables set up, food everywhere. But the best part was getting the tour from Stu. I mean, however much you think like Stu made or spent or

whatever he is and accumulate it's more than that he has like 10 acres of land that he built 11 houses on it what we pulled up and I parked so is it the final compound

it is it's like an estate and I'm like we pull up and I park over here and I'm like oh this is like a beautiful home but he's like i don't live there i live over here i'm like well then what's that i think he gave one to like his oldest son i think he sold the rest but he's telling me how much this mortgage costs and this upkeep and this rent uh taxes and i was just like honestly as silly as sounds, and I would never take it to this level, but I was kind of like, this is the way to live life. Like Stu Feiner, like some of it's a little bit more materialistic, but he also has everybody knows like people. I was at Mets game. Would you want to Stu Feiner's party?

And I think some of them knew from Barstool. I think other people knew because they're just like on Long Island. Yeah. It's like a thing that everybody knows. And it was like, he's beloved and he's's a clown but he's serious and he makes money all of his kids and family are like super polite and smart and you know it seems like it's all a joke but it's also like this guy's crushing life he actually has one of the best and maybe only interesting facts you know when people like showing you, they're like,

this was built in this era, and let me tell you a little tidbit about it, whatever. And it's like, shut the fuck up. The dude, remember the movie Apollo 13? Yeah. You know the scene where they're like, we got three men up there, and we got to get them down here using this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dude who got them home owned the house first. Really? And I was like, that's actually cool. That's pretty sick. He said the astronauts when they got home, he was like,

they drove right up this block and they came to his house to thank him. Because there's a, that's very cool. There's like an S on the front of his house and he's like,

some people think it's for Stu, but it's actually for like Steinberg or whatever the guy's name was. But people just thought that there was a giant stainless steel S on the fucking front for Stu. Which is entirely possible. Not cast iron, like a big black one.

But I have an interesting question that came out of this. We're going to the party. And I wanted, I don't like to show up empty handed. So I'm like, what do you get the guy that has everything? But I also, I'm not going to go like to the ends of the earth. So I just go to the liquor store. i get a uh really nice bottle of uh liquor and like paid a decent amount for it came in a big like presentation and everything and i'm sitting there and i'm getting it and i'm like this is so stupid this is this is i think it's a dumb policy

that we should abolish as a people and i i get there and it got in my hands and i'm like stew like i got this for you and he was like oh thank you uh i just put this table back there just put it back there and i was like great you know not that i expected to be like oh my god because he didn't want it and i didn't you know he doesn't feel like I. It's like, I want you to go to my party. So you came, you know. And I put it down.

And it just sat on this table the whole time. And I just took it back. And as we were leaving. I knew exactly where that was going. I was like, I'm just going to take it back. Because it was like. No, I mean, it was like this nice bottle and like a case. And it was a, no, I mean, it was like this nice bottle and like a case.

And it was a couple hundred bucks. And I was like, I'm taking this back. Because otherwise, I think it was like literally going to sit on this table. It was also like, it was very funny. It was like lonely, if you will. It was like one table that wasn't a part of the action. And it was just sitting there on the corner. It was like begging to be taken back. Probably should have given it to like his kids maybe like the younger guys but even they have it all you know it's like but i think i think maybe there's a time and a place

like if you're having i mean certainly like a potluck where the whole idea is like bring stuff i think that party is so big that it's like he's throwing like a hundred thousand dollar party and i'm gonna bring him a couple hundred dollar bottle of water of liquor it's just a drop in the ocean yeah the but like but i'm very i'm very pro bringing things to a house but why but that's maybe just just because i have class exactly um but you know there's no reason like half the time you bring a bottle of wine and then you open it up and you fucking like drink it right there. And that, I mean, if it's like a BYOB or something like that, then of course you do it. But when someone's like, I am hosting a party, I'm going all out, you're covered.

It's like, I don't want you, I'm not charging a cover to get to my house. You don't have to come with anything in your hands. I'm not going to think less of you if you, if you don't see, but it is like, I will, but it's like, I, I, I won't, if that makes any sense. Like, like, like you'll register, but you won't. But enough people do. I will, but I won't if that makes any sense. You'll register, but you won't actually take it. That's kind of a dickhead move. I forget to get wedding presents all the time. I owe my sister a wedding present.

I forget wedding gifts constantly. I don't get them from my best friends. You don't get wedding presents. Because I'm not coming... Who gave me a a gift we weren't best friends at the time um the uh the like my best that's how you know it he gave me a gift like my best and i'm like i'm not paying like you guys don't want me to pay for my fucking plate and i'm not gonna get you some like a fucking kitchenaid thing i i've done it where i will get them a gift eventually but i just wait

i have i've had a year no it's longer than that it's like until i see something i'm like fuck they'd love that yeah and then i get them that for it that's cool yeah i actually i'll be honest well this was because i was uh trying to pay for a cripplingly expensive wedding that i was like i do want you to cover your plate i wanted to almost write out down to the penny but you guys can give me that as a gift. That'd be fine. Just that. Just that would be amazing. But with your best friends, we go to dinner all the time.

Sometimes you pay for my dinner. You don't want me to pay for my dinner. Also, you guys aren't paying for this. Your parents are. It's a drop in the ocean of your life with them. A couple hundred bucks or whatever it may be. I got my friends a sick painting three years later and they were like oh this is too much i was like no like you're right i want to get you

something i was waiting for something to strike me to be like this is what you guys i'll tell you what the craziest is is like everybody when you start a registry for your i guess your wedding or your baby or whatever they all put like the kitchen aid yeah i'm not buying you a fucking kitchen aid i'm never buying anyone a fucking KitchenAid. Why do we all have this thing that you're never going to... And if you use it, sure. But like, you know, for the one time in your life, you're going to bake cookies from raw, from scratch. Like, what?

I hope there's a new pandemic. You better start eating bats so you can make your sourdough bread because otherwise that thing's fucking useless. I mean, I remember buying Tiffany candelabra candle stick holders what i my move used to be and i don't even do this anymore but my move used to be i would get for tiffany beer mugs and that was my mom's idea she's like she's like the ladies like the fucking blue and the guys like the fucking beer mugs that's a good one it's yeah and like i i i

i have collected dust somewhere but it was a good idea i did it for a few weddings and i just haven't been back to invite back to a wedding of that level because it is like it's a that's what i'll get for someone who you're not my best friend but also i do have to get you something you never do cash you always do an object uh i did cash with you because i know you like cash yeah um but the yeah but yeah honestly you're probably the only time i ever brought i think i gave you the check not cash but the money you mean yeah i think you're the only time i've ever done wow i'm always straight cash homie straight check homie straight check yeah that's interesting but either way i think i was allowed to take my bottle back what do you think

i think i think in that situation i think you're yeah i mean i think it's funny i think it's funny to grab it and i think it is i think there's a little skeeziness because you you felt weird with it doing right so like felt we're doing something felt we're giving it felt real taking it back if you feel weird doing something is obviously a reason you do yeah um but it is i think i mean like the videos and the pictures i saw like there are like hundreds of people there i don't think many people brought gas i wish it is it's a very nice gesture. And I also think if he'd been like, oh my God, thank you so much. That would be over the top too.

Then you'd be like, okay, keep it. But the fact that he showed no interest in it. Oh, if he liked it for sure, I'm not going to steal it back. But his reaction was perfect

when he was like, oh, what am I supposed to do with this? Just go put it over there. Yes. Yes. I'm going to go hide it under a couple of fucking tables and tablecloths yeah make sure someone else takes it yeah uh but anyway stew what a gem babe he got

so fucking stoned at one point i was watching him like deep throat a sausage and peppers i was just like going down the gullet he was so high that he was quiet. That's how you know. It was like whispering almost. I was like, oh yeah, you're living life. But yeah, if you're lucky enough to be on the invite list, I mean, we had security. We had like basically not quite valet, but we had people like parking people

in strategic spots and guys just walking the property, like earpieces in looking for, I don't know what, because like I think there was a couple having sex in the mobile bathrooms. Like Stu stew feiner's gonna encourage that yeah you know it's gonna be like yeah tell him eat ass and lick clit whatever um but anyway stew thank you babe amazing party everybody if you can check that off your list if you're lucky enough to be on it

johnny's notebook is brought to you by 1-800-Flowers. It's almost Mother's Day. Mother's Day is what? May. This is it, right? Next week? Yes. First Sunday in May.

Yeah. So do it right now. Stop everything. Press pause and go get 1-800-Flowers. Let me tell you about the. I already got my mom my Mother's Day 100 flowers. Did you? And yeah, I got them really early. Like three weeks early.

Like they arrived, you mean? Yeah, they've already arrived. And she's very proud of me. She's like, you never plan anything. Three weeks early? I was like, yeah, I didn't mean for them to come that early. She texted me being like, thank you for the flowers. I was like, that can't be the Mother's Day flowers.

Can it be? Can it? And it wasn't. It's like, oh, that's Valentine's Day late for the flowers. I was like, that can't be the Mother's Day flowers. Can it? It was. It's like, oh, that's Valentine's Day late. I think. I don't know. It was before. They got there before I went to Jamaica.

Wow. What the fuck? Did you just pick the wrong Sunday or something? I guess. I don't know. You might have just picked. She's like, thank you for the flowers. I was like, ah.

What's the note say? So now what's the move? Are you going to get another 100 flowers? No. She dropped me off at the train today. She said, do not give me more flowers well uh everyone else if you haven't if you didn't give your

mom flowers in March you got to go to 1-800-Flowers dot com that's 1-800 as the numbers flowers dot com go to the uh go to the radio icon at the top click on that and enter KFC and you get $25 off.

Two dozen of a two dozen roses. That's the move right there. The two dozen. It's like, it's full. That's what I got. Mom, she does blown away.

Yep. Blown away. 25 bucks off when you use the code KFC. So you think about that? It's almost like a dollar a rose you're getting off and you know you got to get it for everybody you get it for your mother your sister your auntie everybody who your wife your baby mama uh any of the mothers in your life um you know it would be a move never mind that was one of the dumbest things i just this is one of

the dumbest thoughts I've ever had. Ever. I don't even think I want to say it. Okay. It's so dumb. But you're going to say it. Yeah. I was about to say, this is so dumb.

I was about to say, surprise your girl. Like, you're going to have a baby with flowers as if you could know before she knew I get it that's remarkably dumb I get it I mean I guess there's things to be happy with if somehow

it would have to be like you peed on a stick and you thought it was negative it was positive some gigantic mix up and it's like happy mother's day you could have a girlfriend who's a fucking animal doesn't flush the toilet and you're just checking okay all right so it's possible but imagine that like happy mother's day you're like what yeah that's right because they do it for father's day a lot yeah it's like you know you get like little sneakers or something like what are you really seriously imagine the wife being like wait what is that my period

i remember there was a movie terrible movie you ever see a mafia where gone gone gone girls what she does she makes sure like the water doesn't empty so she can get the pee out so that's how you can keep checking your girl's pee. Wait, how does she do it? She makes sure the water doesn't come from the whatever thing. The tank? The tank into the toilet. So the woman comes out

and she's like, your toilet's broken. She's like, okay, so she can get her pee to show that she was pregnant when he killed her. You ever seen a gone girl? I have, but I just don't remember. So, for any of the women in your life who are pregnant pregnant when she when he killed her it was even gone girl i have but i just don't know fire so uh for any of the women in your life uh who are who are uh pregnant whether they know it or not go to 1-800 flowers.com click the radio icon and use promo code kfc for 25 off a two dozen roses

assortment of flowers what do you got for me dude all right sure i got i got nothing thank you i got nothing um my brothers this is never that yeah it's a company um yeah my brother gave me some hand-me-ups um the uh so i i got nothing really particular here today i got just a couple of things we go through pretty fast um uh what do you think stevo's jackass surgeries have cost? You know the answer? I know the answer. Like, even like including insurance. His medical procedures. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I would guess like what insurance is covering, but it is. Oh, I mean, it's got to be like a couple million. Yeah, yeah. 5.2 million dollars in medical procedures. I mean, I had one of my shoulder surgeries was like 100,000. And it was pretty standard and whatever. He's had hospital bills. 5.2 million dollars in hospital bills.

That's how about the collective? Collective is 24 million. So Knoxville was ahead of Steve-O at 5.2. What is he coming at? Steve-O and 5.82? What is he coming at? Steve-O and... 5.82 is what he's listed at here. The website I saw was 5.2. I think 5.26.

Yeah, who's up there with 8.6? That's Knoxville. Nope. Knoxville. Yeah, Knoxville. 8. 8. Now, also, I'll say this.

That doesn't mean... Oh, Aaron. Dandry Aaron, 7.38. I mean, that makes sense. It's going to be danger. Dude, that's so much money. They said if all of the cast numbers, because there's lesser people, it could be up to 38 million. Dude, that's so much fucking money.

Dude, that... When they're like, yeah, we can't pay you that much. We're using all of it for your hospital bill. Yeah. Well, then you have to... Because... Clearly, you have to pay me more. I actually would love to. Maybe even your dad could answer this like what would anybody insure them no right yeah fuck yeah dude my dad insured the blackout tour bro

anyone can catch insurance but like his premium like to like for steve-o to get surgery uh coverage it's gonna be like we know you're gonna it's you know i mean usually they make out like bandits because like you're betting against yourself and like that's true like we know that steve-o is going to jump off a bridge inside of like a fireball like your your premium a month must be like a probably about uh jumping off a bridge surgery. Right, yeah. It's just a definitive it's going to happen.

Is this about insuring them? I think it may be too little too late for health. Sarah's going to come out like, hey, we were just kidding about the last 30 years. I mean, that's like, you know, if you have any like existing, pre-existing conditions, they don't even... Yeah, I have a pre-existing condition it's insanity um i'm a fucking crazy person who's gonna do crazy things yeah but there must be something for like you know uh like little nicks and bruises are okay

but like if i'm gonna fucking die you gotta cover this yeah i don't know that's an interesting you should ask your dad about that well like what do like stunt doubles and and all that shit like that's a good because like you're gonna get injured like skydives right yeah yeah yeah but that i mean those people don't those people usually are just fine steve-o gets hurt also they don't they don't you know like chef donnie goes out there and like their insurance company don't know that he's doing it like steve-o you know if you're some fucking insurance adjuster you're like wait a minute that guy was in my office last week, and he's riding a bull while, like, you know, fucking juggling swords. What the fuck are we doing here?

Okay. Next thing. I don't even know if I'm allowed to say what I'm about to say, but I don't fucking care. I'm going to say it. Put that on a shirt. The chick, the viral rapping girl. Yeah. Who I'm very to say it. Put that on a shirt. The chick, the viral rapping girl. Yeah. Who I'm very attracted to.

You knew she was going to get got. Dude, I think she's the step over milkshake duck. She's the step over milkshake duck. She's the milkshake duck jumping the shark. We don't care what people say anymore. Oh, yeah. Nobody really cared. Nobody got on our case about it?

No, but people. I mean, of course they did. People definitely got on our case. But they're saying it wasn't that bad? I don't know. I'm just speaking for myself. Maybe I'm just projecting. I fucking read that.

And most of the time with old tweets, I'm like, Jesus, you're a fucking scumbag. Because it was the Bobcat tweet. Yeah. I read that. And I fucking laughed, man. That was fucking funny i am aware that i am not the person who gets to decide oh look when people say blonde her hair is no that wasn't her she deleted her account uh i i i'm very well aware i am not the i'm not

invited to the panel who decides whether the n-word usage by white person is offensive or not but if i was in this case i'd say no it says for those who didn't know what my scar is by my eye a few years ago i was driving down the road and saw this bobcat on the side so i stopped got out of the car and poked that n-word little did i know he was alive and well homeboy scratched my eye and so here i am that was funny when i read it it. It reminded me of the Louis C.K. bit, which I never liked. It's actually my least favorite Louis C.K. bit. Probably the only one I actively dislike,

which is the one where he talks about he uses the N-word, but he doesn't use it to describe black people. He just uses it. And it's like, man, that N-word made the shit out of my coffee. I was like, what the fuck does that even mean? Right, right, right.

But calling a bobcat the N-word was just funny to me. I don't know why. I feel like she got – I'm sure she got crushed. But I don't think it was – that's one of my favorite things, the Hulk Hogan. Yeah, yeah. The Hulk Hogan. And I is so fucking funny.

So horrible, but so funny. I might be judging her a little less harshly because, as you said – I'm attracted to her. When they're fucking bouncing in circles together. The other girl got no shine. She's probably so happy. She's probably like, yeah, my friend knew all the words. Talk about her. But I also

think she deleted everything, I would guess. Did she? I know she deleted her Twitter. Because I know her first couple tweets were like my Instagram is this and my Twitter is that and everything else is like, go follow those. Like she was leaning into it and wanted the attention. But that's from 2018, which I guess we're getting to the point that that's like five years ago now. But once, I mean, if you go viral, even if you don't go viral, because you never know when you're going to go viral.

Just go. If you right now get your Mother's Day flowers at 100flowers.com. Also, just search your own Twitter and delete it. Delete it all. Because you could be tomorrow. Somebody gets hit by a fucking car, and you drag them out to safety, and you go viral. And it's like, but also, guess what I said? You never know how you're going to go viral.

I call the bobcat the n-word. That's just funny, man. Again, I am well aware I don't get to make these choices but i'm making it right now that made me laugh i i need like a chapelle show-esque skin where everyone's in like a almost like an alcohol anonymous they're all the people who've been canceled and you go around the room like hi my name is and you explain your reason and it gets to her and she's like a bobcat i call the bobcat the edward fucking n word i thought it was dead i don't think i was gonna tell anybody like there's that is alive was very upset scratched my face and then once the internet got a hold of it they were weird i thought that bobcat was unhappy i was gonna say by the way what's the scratch on her eye? I actually didn't see a scratch. I didn't know this one. Is that her?

If you thought the bobcat was angry. You should have seen how angry white people got. Is that her? Yeah. Not as attractive to her. There's something to the fucking 4K. She had like the – that camera was the fucking uh the one they did the joe burrow with yeah like that famous joe burrow video that's like a whatever it was a 4k yeah that the fucking

hand and the bud light in her hand she's got the not to say like she's just fucking she is about it that wasn't like the bride in the white dress was it i don't think so was it even i assumed it was a wedding yeah it does it doesn't i mean it's a white dress that doesn't look like who wears white to the wedding unless those people behind them are dressed very differently she's got a jacket on like a jacket yeah okay uh but anyway yeah i think i think there was and again it's maybe it's just me speaking for no one else but myself but i think i read that i was like you know what i don't think I care about old tweets anymore because that one was funny I I didn't like pay as much attention to this one but I don't think it was like the witch hunt didn't seem to be as thorough you know like drag her down get her fired

I mean I'm sure they did but I don't think it was as uh of course she's named Brooklyn I said this to Jackie I told Jackie did not go blonde i think it's the hardest time in modern history since they've been able to vote and shit like that to be a white blonde woman i think their stock's never been lower it's yeah you're probably right like every time if you if you're a blonde white woman you do something even remotely like unlikable you're a karen and you're a bitch and you're privileged and and it's like well we used to be like the hot like the top you know and that's part of why because people are like you know you had it so good but you know kate upton blonde with tits and was like a fucking

supermodel and was you know what i mean and now it's like i think a lot of people take a look at blonde women their first inclination is like you you're going to ask for the manager, aren't you? And it's a stereotype. It's stupid. But I think that's the first time that that's happened recently. Used to just be like, you guys are the fucking, that's it. Literally, you're the top of the top of the food chart for chicks. Dude, I need more Jackie.

Stay brunette. Eagle. Eagle wet had like a real about this. Yeah. So he said that he's like, I don't know if he said, I hate white women. He said, I believe white. Yeah, that's right. He said that. He's like, I don't know if he said, I hate white women. He said, I believe white women.

Yeah, no. The most privileged class of people is what he said. Yes, yes. White women are the most privileged class of people. Which, I... He's like, I hate them more than anybody. As a white man, I like someone else taking the cannonball.

Yeah, how about that? Hey, we're fucking number two in the power rankings. Ayo! We have it hard out here. Okay. Okay. Settle down.

All right. So we got a few more things real quick. Okay. While we're talking about being out on things, I'm out on old tweets. I'm also out on crypto. Done. Oh, that's probably going to come back to bite you. Done.

I'm not going to sell anything. That's like somebody being like in like the in like, I don't know, 1971 or whatever, being like, I'm done with the whole cash thing. I have. I'm going to just keep my gold over here. I don't know. I have my reasons. The crypto Bahamas thing was this weekend.

And there are also fucking losers who are like, what was the crypto? I don't know. It's just like I follow conference. Yeah. I follow people. Was it the Bitcoin conference? Yeah. It's like the hashtag was crypto.

Did Dave go there? No, no. Was that the one he was supposed to go to? Okay. He went to that. He didn't go. Yeah.

Even though they left his name off the thing. Oh, I don't know. I guess maybe he didn't. I know he was supposed to go. Okay. But the exclusive gathering. Oh,

it's FTX. We'll beep that. The, it did every like picture I saw out of there, which is fucking losers hanging out. Like it's FTX it will beep that the every like picture I saw out of there which is fucking losers hanging out

like it's like living out like a fantasy where it was like oh this is and then even more importantly than that was like it was like

it's like losers hanging around like Katy Perry Katy Perry would be like what the fuck like am I doing here but even more importantly than that

is how heavy crypto advertises with fucking the ufc now because the overlap is if a bank was advertising next to fucking bang energy and mountain dew i'd say that's not a bank for me i'm gonna go somewhere else that bank doesn't seem trustworthy and that's what it is like every ufc thing is like you guys heard about crypto you drink money you drink energy drinks? You fucking funnel that shit?

Yep. You'll need crypto, too. Imagine fucking Wells. It was like the main sponsors or something were fucking Mountain Dew, Bang Energy, and Wells Fargo. You're like, all right, I'm going to Bank of America. Take my business there. Do you think that they do it because it's a traditionally stupid male, like, you got to get into crypto? Or do you think they're like, let's get these dummies to buy it and we'll like pump and dump this shit i i don't even know what any of that means that's why i'm out i don't think i've ever heard a chick once talk about

that's a good point it's just annoying guys i don't think I've ever once heard a girl be like, do you have Bitcoin? Do you buy crypto? You're right. I probably heard like Erica, like say something like crypto is a part of like the next quarter. Like I'm just the word. Is it just crystals? Oh, you know what you do? Dudes jacked up crypto edition.

I don't even... I know. That's why it would be great. Jacked up. Tell me how crypto works, Jackie. No. No. No. I cannot explain how much I do not understand

crypto. All right. By Thursday, you have to understand it. For next episode. Wednesday. Just give it a once over. You'll know more than us. Yeah. Lastly,

I went to meet my godchild for the first time. He's older now. He lives in California. We went to meet my godchild for the first time He's older now He lives in California We went to the strip club So two things happened One, being on fire is so fucking easy It's the easiest thing to do

I showed up with mustaches Fake mustaches and poppers We put on mustaches so parents couldn't recognize us Popper like Like yeah The snaps Poppers is different put on mustaches so his parents couldn't recognize him. Popper, like... Oh, the snaps. Poppers is... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I guess... Well, no, no, because I called him Poppers the whole time and he calls me Johnny Poppers now, so... Did nobody pick up on this? I did every time I said it it i just didn't care johnny poppers my uncle johnny poppers here you go kiddo here you go kiddo how's your asshole

feeling holy moly um but yeah we just put on mustaches just ran around throwing poppers all day it was awesome he's a boy right yeah yeah yeah yeah that's that's there is something very uh easy about but then what something happened that was super bleak he had like friends over and they were just playing with oculuses like for a lot like there's just two kids oculus is on and they were pretty quiet and they're just doing their oculus thing and blah blah and then one of the kids didn't like he didn't even say this to anybody he just like said this to himself it just happened to be out loud

he just goes man I wish I could live in the metaverse forever and I was like oh my god that's so dark

yeah that is so fucking dark dude it's gonna be awesome it's like going to like a like a Chuck E. Cheese or something but like you can

you could be in it forever hearing it from like a child's voice it was like yeah i was like oh no i just sit in the corner i was like oh i got sick yeah we got to fight against this the revolution begins now and i guess i probably said similar things like when i was playing video games as a kid something like that but like yeah but you've never been able to like the immersive sincerity and i was like i wish i could sleep in the metaverse forever no that's the equivalent of like you know i wish we could stay at the park forever i wish you know like

when a kid doesn't want to leave a party when they yeah i guess they want to be at like the trampoline park forever but it's but it's different because you're actually out there doing something this is just like you know got your fucking goggles on and never want to live in reality which like dude i get oh shout out shout out never living reality no but it was man yeah wait wait what did you just look up okay that's not it remember the the like the there was a video that went viral a few years ago young kid had like a rave party and he's like got his glasses on he's like i know i don't know what it might have just been like a super sweet 16 for a dude but it went viral for some reason wait the

kid dancing like a little kid like a foreign kid it became like a meme now yeah yeah yeah i know exactly that was i think that was like a viral video when we were like in our blog yeah yeah yeah where and like that was probably that kid was probably like i you know i don't ever want to fucking this kid yeah yeah yeah i love it i'm pretty sure that was a blog i wrote like being like you know uh the the rave for eight-year-olds but that they would be like you know i never want to leave you i want to stay here forever and fucking do this right and you can just do that on the metaverse at home and your fucking oculus meanwhile you know the real kids are out there playing t-ball out on the fucking diamond big big time coaching performance for me huge coaching performance for me this weekend you win well there's no winning yeah um but but i'm doing high fives and we're fucking

i know the kids names and shit everybody likes me coach coach coach like it took me a long time to realize that they're like, coach, coach, coach. I'm just like doing my shit. I didn't even know they would call you coach. Well, actually, the other team was weird. The other team knew to throw the ball into me. Sounds like they're a nice coach.

Definitely. The Ironbirds are like a well-run machine, bro. The Ironbirds are a much better team compared to the Grasshoppers. But yeah. Keegan, look at this. You see this? I saw this. He's got a fucking swing, bro. He's got a bat that's clearly too heavy

for him. He also doesn't like running the bases. As he walks to first base and takes off his helmet. Dude, that's how you know you're a gangster. You can walk to first. That ball's so deep, you're gonna throw me out yeah take my time dude 8 a.m though is not gonna work and it's 8 a.m for the next like four weeks oh which brings me just really quickly because uh we we learned that 21 of our audience is uh african-american fake we also believe uh we also learned that something like I think it was like 40 percent

of the audience is a parent which is crazy 40 percent something it was a big number how many on purpose it's probably like 20 percent is uh like you know like podfather type influence of me who are parents on purpose and then there's like another 20 percent which are the accidental accidental parents from your influence. It's a perfect match. It was a big number. We're two times more likely to be apparent.

He's got hot cum. A lot of fucking swimmers out there. My fucking cum is hot. It's 40%. That was gross. It's like when your gun's hot fucking ready to shoot my cum is hot

my cum is boiling dude my cum is not boiling your cum is ice cold no wait your cum is supposed to be cold that's why it hangs outside 98.6 is too hot my cum is hot 110

40% parents every time I tweet something is too hot. My cum is hot. Hot. 110. 40% parents. And I just like every time I tweet something about like how shitty parenthood is, there's always one asshole or multiple assholes. You should cherish this time.

When you're older, you're going to miss it. Suck my dick filled with my hot cum. If you are a parent and another parent is venting and you don't commiserate, you are suspect. There's something fucking wrong with you. Yeah, I fucking love my kids. And when I was doing t-ball with them, it was great. I just don't want it to be at 8 fucking a.m.

Makes sense. I don't want to get up that early i don't want to deal with the fucking uh the baby won't go to sleep at oh you should like i'm gonna get hockey no no we talked about my ultimate no my ultimate that'd be worse than getting him a dog you get them you get him fucking all the equipment and you drive him to all the rink time. Sick, dude. Oh, God, I'd kill you. Kiki, you'd be a good player. I would fucking murder you. 4 a.m. rink time for like a five-year-old.

But the point is when someone is venting about the struggles of parenthood and you are a parent as well, just be like, I hear you, man. I hear you, girl. I know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah, that's brutal. To be like, well, actually, I like reading them books for fucking 12 hours when they won't go to sleep at night. You should be more like me. How about I chop your head off with a fucking axe? Okay?

Not everything is great about parenting. As a matter of fact, all of it is fucking hard. And not to say that, you know, it's like going to school is a good thing, right? But it's fucking hard. A lot of things that you do in life is good, but it sucks while you're doing it and getting through it. So just be like, yeah, man, my kids suck too. Instead of your fucking preachy, you know, you're going to look back on this time. It's like, you know what those parents are?

It's usually fucking people who don't have kids or dads who aren't involved at all. It's like you've never changed a diaper. You've never been puked on or pissed on. You're not the one putting the kids down to bed. You're not the one carrying them everywhere or taking them to this or coaching them to that because it sucks.

Proceed. No, that was it. I mean, think about like if I told you right now, you're just like a bunch of money. I cleared your schedule, whatever it may be. Just do what you want. No adult in their right mind is saying I want to go coach a fucking little league team, a T-ball team.

What do you want? A couple of perverts might you know that's that's yeah like money's no object time is no object what are you gonna love me what do you want to do pick anything you want to do oh i want to like you know play hide and seek with my with with four-year-olds no you don't you want to go do something that's cool and fun and adult. You do it because you love your kids, but that doesn't make it good or fun. It still sucks.

So just admit it. You're allowed to admit that having kids sucks. It doesn't mean that you don't love them, but you're allowed to admit that it sucks. And if you don't, you're an asshole. All right, top five time. I mentioned this last week. Top five most underrated foods, and it's brought to you by HelloFresh.

How about that? I mean, I don't even know. For the rest of the world, it's underrated. You come around these parts to KFC Radio and with John Henry Feidelberg, it's properly rated because they get nothing but love from John Henry over here. The absolute king, I guess, as we do. Let's see what I mean this week. I may have forgotten to order food this week um which means they just they don't not send it to you they just take care of you for it take care of it for you um yeah i uh oh oh wait i did forget to i did

forget to do it but they have certainly taken care of me i got spicy maple chicken oh with green beans and mashed potatoes. Sweet potato mashed potatoes. What? And then white cheddar Wonder Burgers, which have – what's on the Wonder Burgers here? With Old Bay fries, caramelized onions, and special sauce. Holy shit. My third meal is sweet chili pork bowls, which are fucking – these I've had before.

These are in the Hall of Fame. Sometimes they'll label things for you, like, so you know. Quick clean up, healthy, Hall of Famer. Everyone loves this one. I mean, so that one didn't jump out at me, but it's in the Hall of Fame for a reason. Maple chicken with sweet potato mashed potatoes is like a dessert in my mind. Maple. When you can work maple into your meal. Unbelievable.

White cheddar burger with Old Bay fries. And spicy maple chicken, by the way. So a little sweet, a little spicy. It's fucking. I'm excited to get home. I'm like, I just ran to grab a little food real quick. And it's because I'm hungry. And now I'm really excited to get home.

I'm going to try to find it somewhere else and order it. It sounds so fucking good. Damn, that hits. That is like real deal menu right there. That's all you need to hear, man. And it costs fucking nothing. There are some times where I'll get HelloFresh

and I'll be honest, I'm having a down week, having a little sad week and I don't have any meat to cook. And I kind of just don't really cook that week. And I'm having to little sad week and I don't have an immediate cook. And I kind of just don't really cook that week. Yeah. I end up having to throw away the food. And it's worth it. It's like $60.

It's like one order of takeout. It's an absolute no fucking brainer to get it. No matter. Some weeks you only get to one meal. Some weeks you only get to two meals. It's worth it. If you get to one meal, it's worth it. Every time, yeah.

Go to HelloFresh.com slash KFC16. Get 16 free meals plus three gifts. They're just giving you gifts now. I'm sure it's something to cook with or whatever, but you get three gifts, and you can cook all these things like 20 30 minutes it's easy to cook it's easy to clean everything is feels good you feel accomplished yes absolutely when you cook your own shit and it comes out good you feel like you're like a professional

chef like you're you know gordon ramsay or bobby flay or something rattling on pots and pans uh and it all can be uh for and it's faster than delivery by the way yeah it's 20-30 minutes absolutely faster than delivery so a ton of options pasta limon pasta primavera salmon leon there's tons dude hellofresh.com slash kfc 16 and then use code

kfc16 to get the 16 free meals plus the 3 free gifts most underrated foods go first or me no you go first To get the 16 free meals plus the three free gifts. Most underrated foods. You go first or me? No, you go first. I'm debating between whether I take the, in my mind, the overall number one versus value pick. But I think I'm just going to go with it and give it the props that it deserves.

I'm going to give it its flowers. I'm talking about meatloaf. Meatloaf is delicious dude had mom's meatloaf on my hello fresh order last week moms make it so good i actually don't like when they put the ketchup on top like that we're looking at a picture but i do like to dip a little bit but i don't know it's just like a log of basically like meatball meat but you put like breadcrumbs in it or whatever the fuck you do i really don't know how to make it my mom has always made it for me and it's delicious and then afterwards like for a little leftovers the next day you can do uh like just a a sandwich meatloaf sandwich put a little get some uh toast you put some mayonnaise on it whatever it is delicious you put some mashed potatoes on the sandwich with the mayonnaise with the meatloaf it is it became a... That might just be a me thing.

I don't know if anybody else does that. I've definitely done that. Yeah? Okay. I think it was like a thing like meatloaf in the cafeteria on the TV shows and shit where it became like a bad meal. I don't know how it happened. It actually might be one of our longest running

KFC Radio themes is us talking about rebranding meatloaf because it does just not sound very appealing. And it looks like a log of meat is not great. Even when you slice it up, it looks like it's bread. It looks like a slice of bread, but it's meat. I don't know what would be appealing. Meatball is fine. Meatloaf, not fine.

They're really the same fucking thing. So it does need a rebrand, not in my mind you can call it leave a meatloaf and i'll just eat it by myself maybe that's one of those things more meatloaf for me you guys go get the filet mignon or whatever i'll be having my meatloaf yeah what does that mean it's in portuguese it just means like when you offer someone something and they say no thanks you go much vika i, it's more for me. Beautiful. I like it. Yeah. More for fucking me. While we're doing Portuguese, let's go with Charisse.

Yeah. This is your thing in your town, right? Bro, Charisse, dude. Yo, fucking Charisse. It's not. It's not Charisse. Well, that's what I was. Yeah. No.

Is it spelled like Charisse? It's Churico is how it's spelled. It is not Charisse. Well, that's what I was. Yeah. No. Is it spelled like cherries or it's Churico is how it's spelled. It is not chorizo. That's a Spanish spicy sausage. This is a Portuguese spicy sausage. Oh, yeah. They're so incredibly different things. Okay.

It is. It is. I brought in a whole bag of this. This is like five years ago. But in a whole bag of it for Nardini, she never took it out of the fridge. I brought it, and then she was like, thank you, and then, yeah, that's it right there. That's it right fucking there.

Oh, fuck yeah. Fucking Sharice, bro. If you don't fucking know. You never had it. If you haven't had Sharice. Kind of like soppressata. If you haven't been to Fall River of the Azores, you haven't had Sharice. Fucking Sharice, baby. Sharice. kind of like soprasada if you haven't been to fall river of the azores you haven't had charise fucking charise baby charise um i had a second pick to go with meatloaf i'm drawing a blank on it so i'll keep moving but i know i'm missing a big one right now and it's killing me

but i'll skip over um i'm gonna go with salad all salads i would i would argue they're overrated at this point I'm going to go with salad. All salads. I would argue they're overrated at this point. I think that. That's what it is. It's underrated foods. Yeah. Yeah.

I love a salad. That's what I mean. I had a salad for lunch today. Sometimes you just need a salad. I would go so far as to say they're overrated. But the overarching, like, when you're on a diet, it's like, oh, you're going to eat a salad. But I think we're past that. Oh, I don't know.

I think that, like, in a place like this where there's sweet green and all that shit and everybody's eating them, it's one thing. I think you go to middle America where it's all barbecue and meat and shit like that. And you're like, I'll have this salad. And they're like, you get out of our fucking restaurant. A salad is almost like a banana cigarette. Where a Caesar salad, that can get you through whatever you need. Whatever's in your way.

Whatever you have to do for the rest of the day, you have a Caesar salad, that'll power you through whatever you need. Whatever's in your way, like whatever you have to do the rest of the day, you have a Caesar salad, that'll power you through it. Banana cigarette works too, but it's fucking. Caesar salad is where I first like fell in love with the salad because it's a bunch of croutons and that dressing is probably like not even good for you. Well, that's the thing with salads that most of these salads are not good. Yeah, anything that tastes good is not good for you.

They're $20 and they're not very good for you. But I still think, you know, the connotation with salad is diet. And the connotation with diet is like not enjoyable, you know. But I think a good salad, a little watermelon with goat cheese and balsamic. Ah! Ah! You fucking kidding me? That's a nice summer salad.

Yeah. I mean, those shits are fucking unbelievable. And then, and even just like good old regular fucking you know i don't know a cob salad garden salad all that shop salad for dinner yesterday i think you know no i have ribs for dinner yesterday quite the opposite i had a cup when i have a cob salad for oh i commented for lunch saturday that's why it's it and it was good yeah very good okay my number two kind of comparable I guess

this is very specific the celery sticks and carrot sticks on a buffalo wings order yeah yeah they get left they get left there

a lot yeah that might be the best part of a buffalo chicken I usually I usually get I'm like double celery instead of carrots with it

I'm more of a celery guy but like the celery is better I'll eat like two wings then I'm like double celery instead of carrots with it. I'm more of a celery guy. But like I'll have – The celery is better. I'll eat like two wings. Then I'm like crushing the celery. Crush. Fucking – just loads of blue cheese. I remember when they – when you're younger and they're telling you like you actually burn more calories eating salad than you – eating celery than you do whatever.

Consuming it. And I say not the way I do it. Not the way I do it. Not the way I do it. I assure you. It's either fucking drip and come, or it's got ants on a log. He's like, fuck with that, too. Ants on a log. I never had that.

It's raisins? It's peanut butter and raisins. Yeah. It's fire. Fire. I'm going to go with bologna. Wrong. You're wrong twice in a row now.

Yeah. I mean, listen. No matter... You understand how underrated works, right? If you think bologna is even okay, you're wrong. Bologna is really no worse than any other like meat uh deli meats ah they're like cold i can't i can thinly slice meats that are all like when you get a turkey or a ham and it's just mushed together into a fucking like football it's not

exactly the most like natural of meats and i understand that the bologna is more it's the it's kind of like the you know the pig assholes and the fucking eyeball yeah i mean it's the hot dog that's not it's just it's just that i can eat all the other meats raw dog i can just go and grab a fist oh i i can't do that well first of all let me be clear uh i'm talking like boar's head when you get the the Oscar Meyer and it's thick. That's what I pictured. Okay. I'm with you on that. That's inedible. It's thick. It's got the casing around it. And it also

is like sandy. You ever notice there's like a grit to it. It's weird. It's like, did somebody put this like dirt on this? But Boar's head, extremely thinly sliced. Roll them up. Roll them up. You can suck them in there it is it's a great baloney or clit your choice uh it is i can eat those rolled up i can put them on you know i mean the whitest sandwich in the world is wonder bread baloney mayonnaise that is like

you are you are you are not one ounce. You got some N-words in your Twitter drafts. You've called a Bobcat N-word before for sure. But yeah, I mean, if you love hot dogs, you really shouldn't be above Bologna. But that's what I mean. And he's like the rebranding. Number three for me, Twin Snakes. It's Twin Snakes.

Hairbow candy. Twin Snakes. They are fucking fire no one no one people think about the best gummy candies twin snakes

never comes up but let me tell you twin snakes has a fucking shot at the ground really yeah twin snakes are delicious

I got nothing more to say they're just like jelly I'm an expert in this yeah I'm an expert in this field i'm an expert in this field i tell you twin snakes fucking fire okay i don't like gummy bears so if this is the same because

this is his gummy bears it's like two gummy worms stuck together yeah okay one sour one it's just gummy worms one sour one sweet okay that is that's you know a little sour patch kid type of thing where you're right? What was my... I had a really good one that was almost the premise for this. Why did I say this last week? Was it meatloaf? We were talking about something. That was my second one. Because I remember being like, oh, I have meatloaf

and this. And that'll be the beginning of my draft. And I can't fucking remember what it was. So in that case... Yo, can you give me another bag of chips? If they have those or like something... I don't know, something tasty. Something tasty.

Maybe a couple of Three Musketeers too. This goes along with meatloaf as maybe not necessarily as underrated as it once was, but certainly still in need of a rebrand is Brussels sprouts. I disagree again. I'm going to disagree a lot on these. I think Brussels sprouts have had their moment for a long time, and I'm sick of Brussels sprouts.

You're thinking in your bubble. You're not thinking about the... My New York City elitist bubble. Yeah. When you say Brussels sprouts to people, it is the trope of, as a kid, you got to eat your Brussels sprouts before you have your dessert have your dessert dude i disagree i think you're thinking in your childlike bubble i think brussels sprouts brussels sprouts been on here if you're at a moderately uh

respected restaurant brussels sprouts on the menu 10 times out of 10 oh they're on the menu oh yeah they are no not i mean now yes in a place like this... Even Pat's over here. I went to dinner the other night. Had a shit ton of Brussels sprouts. In our world, I think, yes. I think everything, like, as a kid, you're programmed to hate them. I think until you go to, like, a fancy restaurant

where they cook them, like, well, you're not ever... Your first inclination is never Brussels sprouts. Uh, I would say... When was the first time you had brussels sprouts i don't i don't know oh i didn't realize we're like we're pitching at the kids i just in general it's like first time i don't know if you are if you are writing a a trope about like a a vegetable that you don't want to eat it's at the very top of the list yeah i guess it's like the most uh what's what's vegetable what's the white broccoli that's the one i think of first cauliflower cauliflower

yeah i think that could be on the list yeah well it just takes that fucking flavor whatever you put on it yeah but i i think uh the brussels sprout is the is the most vegetable vegetable in the game the most vegetable vegetable yeah okay game. The most vegetable vegetable. Yeah. Okay. Like, like if you're, you know, it's like pick something that is, too garbage, too garbage.

Dude, I told you to get me something delicious. You came back with two pieces of garbage. Poppables. Let's see. Let's try these. Those are fun. No, it's weird because it tastes like a potato chip

but it feels like a honeycomb or something like that it like fucks you up it's fine I mean the instruction was delicious neither is it delicious

it's like if someone came back with brussels sprouts yeah and they also just like it was rated when I went for the record carrot cake oh yeah yeah not enough people order carrot cake these days that's what I say rated when I went. For the record. Carrot cake. Oh, yeah.

Not enough people order carrot cake these days. That's what I say. Bro, every time I go downstairs to get a gallon of milk, I get myself a slice of carrot cake. Really? Yeah, I eat a lot of carrot cake. I'll go ahead and say it. I eat too much carrot cake.

I eat too much cake that has cream cheese. Wait, I don't know. Is carrot cake not cream cheese? No. Well, it has the cream cheese frosting, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, a little bit. But is it...

I thought red velvet was the head of it. Well, that's definitely... Yeah. I think whatever cream... It's definitely cream cheese. At least the one that I've got. But it's not like the... I don't think it's like the true cream cheese frosting.

Maybe I'm wrong. I don't think any of it's real, probably. Yeah, no, it is cream cheese. Okay, the best carrot cake. But is that with it or is that the bait? Like, you put it in cream cheese frosting maybe i'm wrong i don't think any of it's real probably yeah no it is cream cheese okay the best carrot cake but is that with it or is that the bait the like he put in cream cheese frosting go to like a carrot cake recipe don't get me wrong it's still like at the bottom of the list for like there's so many cakes and pies and pastries better than it but it's just not bad i it's very underrated but again that doesn't mean that it's better than any of the good stuff. You know what I mean?

Underrated can mean you're like 10th on the list of 10 things, but it's not as bad as you might make it sound. I like it nice and moist, though. Gotta. Nobody likes a dry cake. I'll lube it up. I don't know. I really can't remember what my last thing was.

But for my final pick, beans. Beans. No, that's what it was. That's what it was. Fucking baked beans. Shout out, Jackie. It's right there on the table right now. Give me that merch.

Give me that merch. There's a reason why this fucking idea from the PLL was so awesome. It's because beans are awesome. Baked beans, bro. Like with an Easter ham or whatever. Like the typical barbecue. Why are you holding that? Over my head.

Because I didn't want to put it on. I didn't want to cover the mic. This shit is. this is another thing i think it's like a hobo's under a bridge eating beans out of a can because you like hit rock bottom it's a hot dog on a stick over the barrel fire and a fucking can of beans you know what that sounds like to me delicious dinner baked beans it makes you fart it's the musical fruit. I will give you that it doesn't look appealing. I mean, it looks like, you know, I don't know.

You don't want to go swimming in a tub of that thing unless you're Jackie. But, I mean, it is tasty. It's healthy. It gives you protein. It can help you exercise when you're doing your leg lifts. It is good in mexican food uh like all sorts of beans beans everywhere bro i think you guys left a sleeper off the board what do you want to give yours first i don't have one what do you got i was gonna say oatmeal

oh oatmeal but i also like oatmeal when i throw a bucket of cinnamon and maple syrup on it. But I think that qualifies, though. I think that qualifies, again, as something that's like, you know, you want to have, like, Lucky Charms and your mom's like, you got to have oatmeal. And it's like, I fuck with oatmeal. Oatmeal. I went through a phase where I ate a lot of oatmeal. Too much oatmeal.

Yeah. There's such things. But I was putting, like, a scoop of peanut butter in it. Like, I had, like, a scoop of protein in it. yeah there's there's such things but i was putting like a scoop of peanut butter in it like i had i like to a protein in it it was not bad though i mean that's no it was really good for you it was really good um fuck i can't think of poached eggs what does that mean the uh boil them you boil them yeah you open it up right into a boiling water yeah yeah you gotta start it like a spin first though. Yeah. Yeah. Poached eggs. Fucking fire.

I've never had that. That's what eggs are. Or soft boiled. Yeah. Like those. Those. Yeah. Right there.

Fuck yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well, you just did it like kind of like a stew voice to me. I remembered one more story from Stula Palooza. That's our top five. Tweet out your top five most underrated foods.

Stu had a face painting. I saw this, yes. So the way Stu told it, he was like, the band is here from 12 to 6, from 12 to 5. At 5 o'clock, the girls come. They set themselves on fire and swallow swords. I was like, they set themselves on fire? What? And then he was like, and you got the face painters going the whole time.

A lot of the girls were doing like kind of like Coachella type things, like a unicorn and stars and sparkles like around their face. Everyone looking cute. Kids were loving it. Brandon Walker's kids were like a whole zoo thing. Mike steps up, Michelangeloelo and he does blackface what he gets a brown bear is his face so he's got his big beard did he post a picture of it yeah yeah yeah so wait wait that's after so the the the the first he didn't post it the first picture was see how brown it is on his forehead it was brown all the way down and i see him walking

back mike looks exactly like jake johnson by the way he looks exactly like jake in the minks yeah he had that that shirt unbuttoned he had shades on he had his hair slicked back he had his hot ass girlfriend with him. He was like fucking living. King of the party, right? And then he goes and he gets his face painted. And I'm like watching him walk back to his seat. Kind of like, did Mike just do blackface?

So he walks by our table. And I jokingly, not jokingly, but I said it to him. Kind of expecting that he was going to be like, oh shit. Oh my God. You know, I'm like, hey, the blackface dude. He's like, I know. I know. I'm going back to fix it right now.

But it had already become a thing. And so he goes back and he gets some fucking whiskers, those little white dots posted on his face. And he goes, is it better now? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, it's better. And about five minutes after that, I see him totally normal. And he's like, it wasn't worth it. Yeah. yeah no kidding you're a grown man doing the face paint and you walk around with anything that might be borderline considered blackface you might want to just steer clear of it but the i i just i started ended up laughing to myself where people are sitting at my table

like what are you laughing at and i was just like guys just think about like he was playing beer pong and shit i think just think about the the moment where like his girlfriend was like michael michael you did blackface we gotta go back and get some whiskers you're in blackface at the party you're embarrassing me that is such a funny like only michelangelo man only mike would do it like he was the king of the party too man he was he was the mvp it was it MVP. It was a great time, but Michelangelo blackface is going to go down in history. Grinnelli was like, gas 2.0! All right, voicemails today. Let's roll them out.

What do we got, Mike? What's going on, KFC, Vikes, everybody else? This is Jack from Birmingham, Alabama. Not that you guys really give a shit about that but i graduate high school in a couple of weeks what and for my senior trip instead of going to the beach like most people i am gonna fly to chicago with my parents to go see your june live show um now they agreed to this without knowing at all what KFC radio is. They don't know

anything about you guys. I really like you guys and have been listening to you guys for a couple of years. So that led me to thinking what moment or segment or thing that you guys have done over the past 10 years would you choose to kind of

encapsulate or represent or just the show you've tweeted it recently um it could be anything that you guys have done uh just something that kind of sums up and you would show to someone who's never seen the show before and be like this is what you're in for um uh super excited anyway super excited for the show um this will be the first one i've been to i'm really looking forward to it um hope you guys see this and respond uh thanks viva jack very much appreciate you everyone get tickets to philly and chicago um chicago is almost sold out philly has some tickets left the first of all Jack I would not have guessed

don't expect to be carded at a live show I would have guessed you're 40 that's a fellow that could probably learn from a beard it's just like the glasses he's a bigger guy that does not look like someone who's about to graduate high school to me. No,

he's got big arms. Like, but, but, but you know what I mean? Like if he gets that beard going right now, he's got that. He looks like the dude in party down.

Party down. Yeah. Give me a chance for the cast of party down. Um, he's a, he, this guy's a big guy too. Um,

Ken Marino, Ken Marino. Yes, exactly who it is. Um, that guy's great in everything he's awesome he's the shripper manager and we're the millers he's like bone to garage is cool with it

he's like we're gonna start you're gonna start fucking everyone yeah he looks like he looks like Ken Marino he's a child who looks like Ken Marino but as for what our best segments are nothing you should tell your parents if you want to keep coming to this. If you want to see something that encapsulates KFC Radio,

don't show it to your parents. Show them the clip of me talking about my hangout. No, don't even show them that. Call me Uncle Johnny Poppers. Dude, he woke up last night and went downstairs like, Mom, where's Johnny Poppers? Under your bed. I did have another moment

at Stu's that was great along the... When you say Popper's, it made me think of it. This fucking drunk as shit guy came up to me and was like, can I get a picture? And I'm like, yeah, sure. And he goes over to Large to have him take the picture. And he goes over for like a solid

25 seconds, 20 seconds being like, so like, that's, push that button there. And I'm like, yeah, grandpa,

you know how to use a phone? And the kid goes to me, it's your grandpa. And I was like, ah, I was like, thank you so much. And then he,

the guy goes, what's your real name? He goes, well, they call me pop-pop, but I was like, oh, so much. And then the guy goes, what's your real name? He goes, well, they call me Pop Pop. But I was like, oh, I'm going to call you Grandpa for the rest of your fucking until you're kicking the casket, kicking the bucket like the next two years, you old fuck. Anyway, I can't remember. I can't find. I guess I tweeted it. I said like, oh, is this it?

What did I say? What was the tweet? I think I think I remember you saying I don't remember you tweeted it. I said like, oh, is this it? What did I say? What was the tweet? I think I remember you saying, I don't remember you tweeting it, but I remember you saying this during the Josh Attaway interview being like. Yeah, because we did it all, right? We did like math and strip. But I mean, that's not like us. He was like the star of that.

But it might have been this. But very recently I said like, if you need to pick a starting point, like send them to this one. It might have been this but very very recently i said like if you need to pick a starting point like send them to this one it might have been that because it was all over the place i i i remember i remember you saying this i don't think it was josh it is i mean it did so fucking hard because the show changes so often right right now i don't know what it would be. Right now, I mean, for your parents, too. You know, Nate Bargatze. But I think he's in a segment of Just Us.

Why are there so many boxes behind you? It is an absurd amount of boxes what's that the colorful thing behind him it looks like a seat looks like he's got like a shirt over his seat or something um i i i don't know i'm i'm bad with this stuff because i don't remember see this is hard for what what needs the crowd needs to answer this i i don't i don't even have like i don't even i don't have a guess i don't remember people People always throw out the girl who wants to. Her boyfriend comes in his hand. They love that one.

They love the baby in the microwave. But there's been like modern classics too that stick out. They remember more than we do because we just do it and spit it out. And I don't even know what episode is part, what segments are part of what episode. So tweet at us at KC Radio. Hashtag best app. Best app. Best app. Best app.

Speaking of apps, I just watched Slow Horses Fire. What's that? A show on Apple TV. Slow Horses? Slow Horses. What's it about? It stars Gary Oldman. It is about like it's MI5, but they're like the cast offs.

Like they're people who've gotten in trouble at MI5. So it's almost like we call it the teacher's room where teachers can't be fired. But they like they just sit around and sit there all day. And it's basically what they work is called Slough House and they're called the Slow Horses. And they're just like it's a little funny, but it's also it's like Gary Oldman's character is objectively funny. But then also there there is serious spy shit and violence in it, too. It's only six episodes. They've already filmed season two

because at the end of the sixth episode in this, they're like, on season two of Slow Horses, and they just show all the clips. Apple TV. It's fire. Fire, fire. Ozark's second half of season two is out. Did you watch it?

I don't watch the first half yet. I like what they did so far. The first episode is they did something. We'll talk about it eventually. No spoilers. It comes in hot for sure for the last i think six more episodes to wrap up what was it it was the nancy reagan episode what was you learning in real time nancy reagan is the throat coat so what did i did i say that like just just direct people to this this

right here was there a clip that went along with it or no it was just a screenshot of the the rundown the chapters on youtube and it says like nancy reagan is the throat goat that was one of the all-time twitter days twitter episodes whatever um or podcast episodes i was a throat goat there nancy Reagan was known as Just Say Yes Nancy because she sucked all the cock in Hollywood. She... Can I say something like, you guys got anything for one minute, man?

Yeah, I remember being mad about you guys. Nancy Reagan sucking cock all around. Nancy Reagan, the throw goat. That morning I said anything for one minute, man. They were like, nah. Nancy Reagan sits behind closed doors. Ronald Reagan probably was like, fucking these hoes.

Nancy shows up and sucks the soul out of him. And he was like, I need to lock this bitch up for life. Nancy Reagan might have been the first woman to get her face fucked. Legitimately. Nancy Reagan made everyone

whose dick she was going to suck have a bush. She needed a fucking airbag the way I do it I'm going to break my fucking face on that dick that is an absurd line I prefer a bush so I got a cushion what happened?

don't have them listen to the show don't bring them to the show yo my like entire extended family is coming to the show. Don't tell us stuff like that. Don't tell us. I don't care. I know you do. I do.

Next up. We're not talking about it. Next up. Next up. KFC fights. One of the 21. Percent. Absolutely fantastic.

Y'all killed it. No surprise there. Kev was listening to kevin clancy show heard you were looking for an assistant in a little bit i got you i'm your guy oh i can't do that we definitely don't snitch um but my boy has been trying to convince me with the past couple weeks that i should be getting botox in my balls kind of on the fence about it needle down there pressure cargo all that um but he swears up and down by it. He says no sweating, less wrinkles.

The only thing is that, like, it kind of makes his balls longer. So, of course, I'm going to come to you guys for the long ball advice. So would you do it? Would you not do it? Let me know. May or may not have an appointment at the end of June. Dude, if I could get my balls longer, I'd get them longer right now. Fucking love long balls.

I would get them to my knees. I would get them. I want them hanging off the guy's dick on his arm. Throw them on my shoulder like a Continental Soldier, man. Long balls are the shit, man. Long balls, what do you want? A little pair of fucking little acorns? Steroid nuts? A pair of perennium little acorns, steroid, steroid,

perineum. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nut tap myself sometimes I'm laughing that's what I want I want a nut bag that looks like I lost a lot of weight yeah your balls used to be fat

now they're skinny I want to give myself the bat wing I want to see myself the bat wing. How about, I mean, I want to see a picture of this Botox balls. Yeah, that's a good point. Botox balls. Scrotox. Yeah. It doesn't look like there's any like real,

I need to like see a real. Yeah, it's like a before and after. It's already filled it. Honestly, I wrote Botox and then that filled in for me before and after we are not the first um chris hughes bravely bravely gets testicles out live in the morning on this morning as he opens up about health scare love island star now this sounds like it's a little more serious than he had testicular torsion she will fuck you up that was someone's back i feel like i'm watching

i feel like i'm on arrested development are those balls i don't i can't get any uh before and afters here oh here you go here you go that just makes them like shiny oh wow that can't get any before and afters here oh here you go that just makes him like shiny oh wow that can't be real that's gotta be edited I mean it's definitely like you know edited but like is that the basic idea is that it becomes shiny like that I'd do that

those look like easter eggs like scrotox fits with everything else I do to look my best bob hairdresser it's like okay well i had i had results the first day i received scrotox now my scrotum looks like a christmas ornament hell i see my reflection in them yeah says cubby professional body they look fucking she says they say unretouched clinical photos taken while posing before and 30 days after treatment of scrotox the clinical 79% of men saw an amazing improvement

in the appearance of their testicles. Bro, I don't know if I'd want hot testicles. You got to have. It's not just for models and movie stars, but ordinary people. Bro. Teachers, fathers, and business people from all walks of life. Let me tell you this. Let me look into the camera and tell you this.

If you are so self-conscious about your looks that you're worried about wrinkles on your balls you're the most self-conscious person on the fucking planet earth you gotta let some things go i mean even bleaching the asshole i'll i'll accept because assholes hot in the streets the last couple decades balls have never been and never will be the focal point of what they're looking at they'll never have their moment in the sun and also uh a set of well some people are doing that by the way some people are sunning their their nuts oh yeah yeah get that sun on your perineum or whatever that that was like a hoax for a few like yeah like yeah i don't think that's so No, there's that person who tried to survive on sunlight.

She died. But a pair of smooth, shiny nuts? The girls aren't going home being like, he had the best balls. Either way. That's rather unorthodox. Yeah. I think, what the fuck is going on here?

Why do they look silver? Yeah, they look like silver bells. That'd be fun. Now I'm coming around and be like, hey, what's up, man? I'm Kevin. Nice to meet you. They call me silver bells. Why do they call you silver bells?

My balls are shiny. Yeah. Just wait until they're slapping off your butt. I mean, those are kind of cool. Those are kind of sick. Jackie, what's our take on? You want to see these? On take on you want to see these have you been listening

yeah the balls yeah the balls I think that you don't worry about your balls that's on the left yeah wait that's weirdly shiny regular hairballs. Yeah. Wait.

That's weirdly shiny. But why would you want them to be shiny? I think that's weird. I think that you should just be fine with them. He has spoken. They're weird. Shiny balls? Weird. Shiny balls are weird, but kind of cool. They're a talking point.

Zach? Don't do me the exclude you here. Come on over. I'm not going to like this at all. So wait. Regular balls? Yeah, those balls. Shiny balls.

Oh, yeah. I don't like that at all. They do look rather. That's very uncomfortable. So I guess balls are for heterosexual guys because we're both like, yeah, shiny balls kind of sick. They do look rather extraterrestrial.

Yeah. Like that looks like a pair of balls on an alien. It looks're both like, yeah, shiny balls kind of sick. They do look rather extraterrestrial. Yeah. Like that looks like a pair of balls on an alien. It looks like it looks like you do like you visited fucking fucking where's the where's the nuclear explosion? Chernobyl. Chernobyl.

Yeah. You got you got poisoned. How many times you gone through TSA? All right. Final answer. Don't get your balls done. But I kind of want to tell myself so do the dolls. Although, as someone who's had Botox in their face, it hurts a little bit.

The needle? Yeah, and needles don't bother me at all. But it feels like they're popping something in your head. And that's what they tell you. It's going to go under your skin, right? It's going to feel like they're popping something in your head so when they and that's what they tell you like under your skin right it's like it's like it's gonna feel like we're cracking something so it's almost like it feels like you know like when you crack a glow stick yeah it feels like that in your head like yikes that does not sound enjoyable you've had those jackie sorry what have you had botox no but i will soon um i got botox in my armpit but it hurt because

of a needle but i didn't feel Oh, you didn't feel the crack? Okay, so maybe you don't. I think that's because there's tight skin. This was like, it's going into your muscle. So maybe your testicles, you wouldn't feel it. Oh, I don't think you feel anything in your testicle skin. Are you kidding me? Bro, I can squeeze my testicle skin right now and nothing's hurting.

I mean, I can feel it. I feel it. It hurts. Your testicle skin? I'm squeezing it pretty hard. I feel like I could put a needle, like a Your testicle skin? I'm squeezing it pretty hard. I feel like I could put a needle, like a fucking nail through that. Now you're right.

When I grab a bigger clump. I mean, there is. I have feeling, but like not. Pabs? I was pinching too tight. I was pinching too tight. Bro. When I pinched more.

Is there nothing wrong with my balls? No. I don't feel anything. What are you doing right now? Are you grabbing like the skin? I was pinching too tight. Bro. When I pinched more. Is there nothing wrong with my balls? No. I don't feel anything. No, I'm not. Wait, what are you doing right now? I'm saying when I. Are you grabbing like the skin? When I was grabbing just the edge.

When I was grabbing just the edge, I could feel it. But no, now that I'm in the middle. No, I can fuck it. I can fucking gnaw these things off. What's wrong with my balls? You could take. Nothing. Yeah.

That's hard enough. hang on a second like i'm getting the pressure point nothing i got full body weight on i got full body i got full body nothing bro i think my balls are dead i feel like i got scared for a second but but I think we're all the same. Don't worry. I don't think balls have nerves. I don't think so either, bro. That's wild. The balls. I have two thumb full body weight. Yeah, nothing.

Not on my nuts. On my nut skin. Nothing. Your nuts are very, it's your scrotum. Your scrotum has nothing. I think your scrotum is less than your dick yeah your ball bag can take a fucking punch that's why you

have to do the bat wing my ball bag's got a hell of a chin on it what a moment that was nothing last one something you actually said though triggered me

which is a scary thought I can't remember what it was but it was like oh wait a minute it reminds me like what would remind me? What are we talking about here?

Anyway, just keep going. Hey, what's up, whole crew? Not first time. Long time. I am a nanny, and I frequently just, like, have the podcast on throughout the day. Like, we're just listening to the most frequent episode, and we're eating our baby food. Am I going to affect her development? Is her cognitive development already fucked up?

I think she's already dumber. Her first words are going to be, I'm going to kill myself. And it's partially my fault, partially yours. Should I put airpods in? Blood on our hands. I think she's a chicken head. Am I wrong for this? Let me know.

Bro, make her listen on her own so we get two listeners out of it. Make sure her phone is subscribed too. Come on. I mean, they tell you like play opera music and shit, and that'll make, you know, I don't believe that stuff to be perfectly honest. But they say to. Oh, you think we're affecting children like that? Like baby Einstein? We're baby Einstein for degenerates?

No. I'm saying that they tell you to do that, but I don't think that babies are dumb, man. Babies aren't listening to the podcast. Babies are. Or maybe they are. They're becoming funny. Well, dude, I honestly, I never I never I never thought

any of that I never thought that bothered anything or affected anything until I said fuck in front of a baby yesterday and I was like oh boy that baby's gonna

say fuck earlier now did I tell you what Shay said the other day she just goes Jesus Christ and I was like whoa

did I tell you this and then she just didn't know it was a bad word I was like did I tell them on the podcast I don't think so I think it was just to me she goes

Jesus Christ and I was like Shay're telling the podcast i don't think so i think it's just to me she goes jesus christ and i was like shay and then i probably said jesus christ back to her and i was like whoa and she was like what and i was like uh you can't say that and she was like what do you mean i didn't know and i was like that's like a bad word you can't say it she was like oh okay now i know i i almost just I almost just asked you in relation to that question, if you had the power to change how a baby was raised, would you? And you do. And you did.

Wait, what? I was going to ask you. I didn't really think about raising children. If you could change how a kid grows up, would you? That's what I'm doing. Every day. Diver you do it every day. Every second I'm with him. I'm like diverting him back to this.

I have no control over how humans are raised. Turns out you got a couple. It's crazy. Oh, this is what reminded me of, because I was going to think about, could you put a nail through your scrotum? Shay says to me the other day, she's been all fucked up from Easter. All fucked up.

She goes, when Jesus died, how did he stay on the cross? And I was like, fuck. What the fuck do I say to that? And half the time I'm thinking what I'm going to say to her, the other half of the time I'm thinking, what the fuck are they teaching them this? How about we just, you know, they're six years old. How about we just stick with like the be a good person part of Christianityianity how about just the golden rule do unto others how about that we need to

talk about the crucifucking fiction so i was i was like i i i like dropped the ball so i was like i have a dead like i had nothing and i was like they um they just like tied him up there it's like you know when i when i tie you up and we're playing they just tied him up there it was like kind of like a game and she goes oh and i see her kind of like this is at bedtime by the way she kind of like pretends to put her head down and then she's like because you know and i was like fuck she was because i saw a picture with nails i was like yeah man they fucking nailed them up there like why do i gotta why are we teaching the kids about getting nailed to the fucking cross i don't why are we teaching them anything all it does is lead to rape yes can i say a theory that i came up with what did you say

it all just leads to rape oh yeah yeah what's your theory is it about jesus and the crucifixion okay no no but it's about kids kids and like just growing up and everything. Okay. Okay. So you, um, when, you know, when like you, um, take, plug in a hairdryer. No, you take out a hairdryer and all the lights like brighten or you plug in a hairdryer. You turn on all them dim. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Sort of like that's a thing. It's a thing. It's a thing. You take it out and everything brightens. Right. turn on all them dim yeah okay okay sort of like that's a thing that it's a thing it's a you take it out and everything brightens right so if all the energy in the world is the same like this then then when somebody dies their soul goes into all of us right so then the past lives and

everything that like we think our past lives matter what past lives matter so then but they're not past lives it's just dead people at the time when you're growing up they die and when you're younger you have more like to fill up and then and then they go into you a little bit you lost me lost me a long time ago start from the beginning okay hair dryer okay but do you get it no no no i really want to start again okay okay okay you die so sorry what okay what yeah back to the hair dry okay so so when you're younger, you have an empty tank, right? Basically.

Start at the hair dryer. Okay, hair dryer. You take out a hair dryer, right? You plug in hair dryer and all the lights dim because the energy takes so much energy. I use a hair dryer. I think it's like if you have bad electricity, bad outlets, it's like there's only so much electricity going around.

You plug it in, it diverts some of it over there, so these lights go down. If you have a fully functioning... I think your new apartment, that's not going to happen. Okay. Yeah, that's what I mean. If you have a fully functioning electrical apartment, you're fine.

Then you would know this. So Jackie thinks to flesh that out, you think that there's just like energy. There's a finite amount of energy flowing through the world. Well, we know this. Energy cannot be created or destroyed right wow okay so you like when people died they everybody has energy in them or like we are energy but when they die it has to go somewhere right so it goes into all of us in like so then when you're young you have an empty

tank basically meaning like of life right like you're just of you have an empty tank, basically. Meaning like of life, right? Of life. Of energy. I haven't really fully thought this theory through. Right. Yeah, clearly. Okay. Yeah, we know.

And then you absorb other people's energy. And that's why we're growing up. And then our minds are only able to consume so much that we hit a max period when we're older but slowly we've been we've been expanding our brains and so we've been expanding the life whatever but like how long we live but i think that are you following uh humans are soul leaders is what I got. Yeah. So here's the thing. We're dementors.

You're thinking when somebody dies, we all absorb a little bit of their spirit? Yeah. Or do we just get some from our own close circle? I think if John dies right now, we might grab some. But if someone dies over in Russia, we're not going to get their juice. Yes. No, you do. Because it just goes a little bit into everybody.

So there's one speck of it all around the whole world. One person's broken down seven billion times. The younger you are, the more. One seven billionth of that soul goes into you. Yes. And then that's why we're like growing and we're learning because you're super dumb when you come out, right? And then you slowly like.

I do actually, there's something, there's a theory. I don't know if it's this one. It's not this. But I don't know how babies. My biggest concern when I had a kid was like, how are they going to talk? How are they going to like learn just like everything? Like I understand you read a book

and it's like George Washington and the fucking American Revolution. You learn that. But just like living, they just figure out things. But it's like, maybe it's because a bunch of people are dying and they're just absorbing all their shit. Or it's probably just they're watching us live but whatever i like this idea of soul absorption yeah no i mean you're literally describing dementors no but you are there's a

book uh the same dude who wrote davinci code wrote another book uh angels and demons no it's i think it's the lost symbol oh yeah um where the science Where the scientists – I think all of his books are like kind of rooted in reality, but then they're not. Dan Brown. Huh? Dan Brown. Yeah, Dan Brown. He put – like the scientists put a – he had this dead person. This terminal cancer person agreed to do this experiment where he went into like a completely hermetically

sealed room and he was a certain weight and then he was like in a fucking almost like a cryogenic chamber type thing like a big fancy thing and when he died his weight changed by like 0.01 grams or whatever that's like that's the soul oh the weight of a soul yeah i think that's like that's a real thing yeah is it real yeah so like it's like somebody just can't explain yeah that there's something tangible that goes away basically i have a really strong feeling that i am somehow real i this is gonna sound weird i'm related to benjamin frank Not related. I think that I... I did not see that coming. No. I'm really into Benjamin Franklin.

Proceed, please. So I have a little Benny Franks in you? I'm related to Doc Holliday. What? You're not sure or you have a feeling? No, I just have a feeling I am. Yes, I have a really strong... Both of you. I just know in my heart...

A little bit cocky for my liking. Well, dude... You're one of the smartest people to ever live and you're one of the most badass people to ever live. We have the same name born on the same day. Doc Holliday's name is John Feidelberg? John Henry Holliday. And he was born on August 14th.

I mean, alright. And why are you Benjamin Franklin? I don't know. He probably fucked you in a past life. At least I have some explanation. You don't have any? I remember learning about Benjamin Franklin and being like, I? You're just like, I don't know. I remember learning about Benjamin Franklin

and being like, I was him at one point. What? It sounds weird when I say it out loud. This is no judgment zone. I never agreed to that. You are so wrong.

I never signed on that dotted line. That's what this podcast is. I thought that you guys were going to be like, bro, I thought that we all were going to be like, yeah, I kind of thought like I was George Washington.

I mean, I said it. I did say my part. Yeah, you did. But also, you fucking look at a fat, short, balding man with syphilis, and you're like, that's fucking... Talk about kindred spirits, right, Betty? That's why I was like, there's no reason for me to feel this strong about Benjamin I know that I was

this at one point this was me Jackie you are the fucking best she's the funniest person alive she thinks she's Benjamin Franklin

folks like I can tell that you guys are looking at him and you guys don't have the same like connection that I do

me it's me like I can tell that you guys are looking at him and you guys don't have the same like connection that I do you don't know him like I do that picture was perfect you don't know him like I do what about um cause he did he was a prolific lover what if you had a like a reincarnated like old yeah what if you were banging Ben Franklin in

France back in like the 1700s and maybe that's your connection to him but it's more than that it's more than that it's more than just physical it's not just sex

it's like you are him yeah yeah yeah maybe you're a kindred kindred flame twin flame I didn't really realize that he was like a

sex whatever civilized guy until right now no no until I like before I'd come up with this theory then I kind of learned

he was like kind of like a weirdo but he's not a weirdo he just fucked a lot not a weirdo I just fuck a lot yeah yeah yeah

I mean he he was super he is arguably like he was never president or whatever but he is like that dude preferred older women

didn't know that he's one of the most like important Americans I think to ever live. Like a lot of his influence and a lot of like what he said and wanted to happen like did. And so, you know. I don't know why you would be him then. Well, the point is circling back. I'll tell you what.

His wife was maybe an uglier man than he was. Wait, wait. go back up. Yeah. No, the thing said he may have married his wife to satisfy his libido. Well, then he picked wrong. He may have married his wife to like quell his libido. Just because she's a fuck machine too. He compared her body to a beer mug.

Oh my God. Let's read that whole thing. That's got to have some gems in there. What does it say there, Pabst? Franklin's common law marriage to Deborah Reed was likely built more on convenience than love. He didn't seem especially attracted to her, and he once even compared her body to a beer mug.

Is there something meaner you could say to a woman? No. Some historians believe that Franklin married her just so he'd have someone to take out his sexual energies on he cheated on her openly throughout their 44 year marriage 18 years of which were spent living apart yeah deborah suffered a stroke while her husband was overseas franklin didn't return to philadelphia to see her and she passed away alone in 75 oh man that's hateful but you kind of got, I mean, he didn't find out about it for months probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's like, oh, she's better now. I don't have to come back. Right, right. I mean, yeah, when you live in France and your wife's over in the colonies, like, you're done. She is butt, dude. Dude, she is ugly. She is butt. She is ugly.

She looks like. Don't talk about my wife. Go back to that. Go back to. Dude, he called her body a beer that one that one looks like fucking richard simmons she is gross yo you know what you don't think of something that's the exact opposite of an hourglass right you got a beer mug you got a body like a coke bottle girl you got a body like a beer stein i could drop you on the floor and it wouldn't break

there's nothing fragile about you you're a sturdy woman you know what no because here's the thing it ain't even one of these beer mugs go back to two two times it's that top left one it's a it's a metal fucking you know oh that's your body girl he's like i guess if we put a corset on it we can tighten at the top a little bit but aside from that it just it is it is immovable your organs are there dude and he's just this fatso lifting the belly and banging french girls and jackie thinks that he she is him i i mean it's amazing that's one of the greatest moments in the podcast history you revealing that you think you are benjamin franklin reincarnated with with folks let me explain this.

Without a smirk or a smile, this is not a bit. She didn't come up. This is just genuine. I swear I've talked about this before. I swear you haven't. I swear you haven't. I make you a goddamn promise. Next time you say you're someone reincarnated, I'll remember. Yeah, and especially if it's one of the founding fucking fathers.

Wow. Jackie, Jackie, Franklin, Benjamin Nichols. Unbelievable. All right, let's do our interviews. founding fucking fathers wow jackie jackie franklin benjamin nichols unbelievable all right let's do our interviews we got sergio chicone and um and greg olson on the show me and greg sat down uh solo fights was uh on the road and we actually for that one uh yeah um i uh actually for for the 40 out there for the 40% out there, for the 40% parents who are, the 40% listeners who are parents, it's actually a really good conversation. A little bit of a departure from our usual nonsense because we just talked about kids in sports and how to raise them and how to deal with the competition and all that shit. So Greg's entire endeavor right now, podcast and his network and his whole post-career stuff is all about that with kids athletics.

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blow the secret. So BlueNile.com Promo code Kevin for $50 off. The skateboard, but then they came out with the scooter. to you know blow the secret so blue nile.com promo code kevin for 50 off the skateboard then they came out with a scooter okay and they were supposed to do like a big ad deal with us so they gave gave us one and it was fucking amazing yeah it was i was it was back when i was taking the train in still and i was zipping from grand central to our office i'm saying man you get everywhere so much faster but so that they gave me, I think, like a sample one or some shit,

and the battery, like, died quickly. So your scooter lasted, like, six hours. But, like, thank God, because I think I'd be dead right now if I didn't, because I was, like, zoom, zoom, zoom. I mean, I was treating it like it was a fucking video game. And I was breezing through streets and intersections. Yeah, it's not a toy.

You fuck around, you lay around. Well, I think they tried to do the rental ones in Manhattan. I think people died. Yeah, no, that shit ended real quick. One weekend, two people died in 10 accidents, and they were gone. But the argument against it is so funny. People are like, you can't put a car in a car. People are like, well, cars are there, too.

Right, right. People drive drunk everywhere. There's personal responsibility to things. But I had to stop. I can only walk in the city. I had to stop. I used to rollerblade to work and back, and I had to stop doing that because, one, I'm not as good a skater as I used to be,

and, two, I'd be drunk. Drunk blading. I'd have a drink or two after work you don't see rollerblades anymore no they're on the comeback

they're on the comeback they're on the comeback you've been saying on the comeback since 2015 rollerblades are on the comeback you said that you said that

Bush is back and rollerblades are back for the last decade dude chicks with pubes is back and fucking... I thought you meant George Bush. No, no.

I don't know. Guess what George Bush is back too. That motherfucker paints like a son of a bitch. He's more back than the other ones you're talking about. He's the most back

out of all three of those things. He most certainly is and I'll tell you why, right? Because people were so like, they had such disdain for Trump that they were like, oh, remember Bush? They wanted him back.

Well, because Bush has always been cool. He gave Michelle a mint once. He's very nice. The littlest things. Dude, the bar is so low with politicians just being normal people. And like he was always personable and cool. It was just like, well, you know, you started a war for no reason. Like you killed a bunch of people.

But once that's like, oh, that's old news. It's like, ah, you're cool. You threw out that pistol one time. It was awesome. You're the man. I also remember the way his, he had the Floyd Mayweather robe. I went in through the shoe at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not everyone's moving from that shit. He made eye contact. Right. He was like, what's up? That's athleticism. That's like if a guy like that, should have just stayed in major league baseball and shit he's not meant for politics you got you're too cool you're a regular guy you know i bet being an ex-president is is awesome other than like you know people are still trying to kill you and you

got like the search the secret service everywhere you go it's probably like i'm done now i'm gonna be myself and you give a speech yeah you write a book write a book and give a speech and you're fucking rich see he was before he was president like that was back when like like Clinton was making confessions like I did experiment

with marijuana and then four years later it's like we elected a guy who like I believe he got caught with coke in Yale yeah yeah yeah he got caught

with coke in the White House yeah so anyway Lebanon he's really hard which also is so weird to think back like even 20 years ago,

fathers were making like heartfelt confessions that they might have tried marijuana in college one time and now it's just fucking legal everywhere. Right.

Fucking crazy. Anyway, we just kind of dove into anything, everything here. Sergio Chacon's here on KFC Radio and I mean,

I'm always just seeing you doing things with Chrissy D and I figured, you know, he's been in a million times. That was all live? That was recorded? Yeah, that was all live. Oh, dope, man. Because I was like, damn, he's been in a million times. That was recorded? Yeah, that was all live.

Oh, dope, man. Because I was like, damn, I just blew my low right. I'm not going to get to follow that shit. I felt smooth. You know, I was like, yo, get the shit going. You got to set me up properly. I've always found that the before and after sometimes is funnier than when we're, you know, interviewing.

I appreciate that. If you would have did like this long set up intro, I would have been like, but I did fall off my scooter. I appreciate that. If you would have done this long setup intro, I would have been like... But I did fall off my scooter. I wanted to share that. Right, right, right. I didn't click it. You know how it locks in the pin?

I didn't click it. And on 21st Street, it collapsed. So as you're driving, the handlebars just fall to your legs, basically? Like into your waist? Yes, and I fell flat on my chest

and I was like... Yeah, and I got up, and I looked like a disgruntled Uber driver. Uber delivery, and I just kept it moving. I didn't even look back. Yeah, really. People would be like that with their phones.

Yeah. Did you fuck your shit up? Your hands? No, man. I don't know what it is, man, but I actually fell on my face, and, you know... Dude, Iron Man over here.

Nothing. When was that? This was, like like two weeks ago. No shit. Funny enough, I was interviewing Chris DiStefano, right? He was on my podcast. And right before I'm taking off, he got a homeless pimp, his cameraman there. He said, look at this herb.

He's mad whack. Look at him on a scooter. And he says, I hope you die. Oh, shit. So wait, he doesn't like the scooter? Man, any chance that he could open up on me, that's what it was, man. I looked like a herb. I had a big fucking helmet.

But see, I was going to say, well, you're rocking a helmet or not, because you might think it's not cool. All of a sudden, you wipe out at 20 fucking miles an hour. It's no joke, man. Yeah, you don't want to crack your coconut like that. No, no. Because you know what the most herb shit is? When you're in the hospital for your scooter. It's like, wow, why are you brain dead now?

I was riding my scooter. Yeah, yeah. That's the lamest shit. There are people, I think you've mentioned this in states around here, people do it. But they do it in Massachusetts and Rhode Island, where in Massachusetts, you have to wear a helmet. In Rhode Island, you don't. And people pull over. It's just like in the state of Rhode Island.

Pull over to pop their. Dude, it's not that it's like, just keep going. It's already been on for an hour. Just keep fucking going. Leave it on wherever you're going. Same rules with the seatbelt too, right? Yeah. I feel like seatbelts, man.

If you're not rocking your seatbelt now, like back, like when I was a kid and getting like older, it was like kind of like you're, you're, you're a loser if you're not rocking your seatbelt. Now it's like, well, that's not fair. You're you're you're a loser if you're not rocking your seatbelt now it's like well that's not fair you're crazy you're a little bit maybe like me sergio you look like you're nothing like me the thing with fucking seatbelts is it matters who you're with yes right so if i'm riding shotgun and i got a girl with me right or if i'm driving i got a girl with me seatbelts not going I'm driving and I got a girl with me,

seatbelt's not going on. And it's not because I want to make her think I'm tough or something like that. It's because seatbelts hug you in all the wrong places, dude. You don't have to worry about it. It looks like I got a cross bag. I got a cross-strap bag on me. I'm driving. I'm fucking Kate Upton walking down the runway.

I got a fat set of tits right here. My stomach is overhanging a fucking belt. When we did the podcast in the car, we drove up to Vermont and we did the show

in the car. We put up the cameras. That was what? Like a fucking five-hour drive of just bouncing and shaking and I was like,

oh no. Yeah, that's how you know when you look heavy. When you take a short stop in a car and it jiggles. Or when you get in and you're like, oh no. That's how you know when you're heavy. When you take a short stop in a car and it jiggles. I never realized it until I was fat. When I started to run and I felt the bounce.

I was like, I need like a fucking brutal. This is bad. Puerto Ricans, they call them fajas. Fajas. Like Spanx, right? Dude, one of my buddies probably like last year we all went to dinner and

he's the one who's like the funniest of the bunch but also the one we clown on the most and he just leaned in he was like you guys know what I've been wearing a lot recently spanks and the fucking I mean the dinner stopped like and we are all always making fun of each other but like you're wearing spanks and you just told's something you just told us yeah but then i'll tell you i'll tell

you what man i watched the fucking instagram ad on it the other day of course i'm being fed that kind of shit and i watched the guy like it's like boxers like normal but then he just pulled up this extra thing and it was like and i was like, I mean, I could use that. That's pretty useful. That's something that's easy to like, obviously the concern is always you go home with someone. Yeah. And, but that's like something easy. You kind of slide down. I mean, she'll recognize it.

Cause they've been, they've been chasing her in space for a little bit. Right. She's going to know the deal quick, fast. Yeah. Yeah. But I would still rub your back real quick. Oh, I get it. I feel that extra layer down there.

A bra clip down your spine. That's like, okay, listen, on the count of three, you take off your push-up bra, I'll take off my fucking man girdle, and we'll just pretend everyone's hot. But I would imagine, man, you put one of those on, you're confident. Through the roof. You're moving down 7th Avenue with swag. The whole day I'm sitting down, I'm pulling my shirt off. I'm trying to fucking, you know, if I just had that on, I'd be like, what's up? What's up? I got all my day. I'm sitting down. I'm pulling my shirt off. I'm trying to fucking,

you know, I just had that on. I'd be like, what's up? I had instant confidence for doing something like vein like that. I tried Rogan and Monoxidil,

the hair thing for like a week. And it's going back. Yo, it wasn't going back, but my confidence. I bought a leather jacket. I put one earring in.

I was talking to girls. I became misogynist for a week. It changed me. I said, I can't do this. I can no longer behave this way with my fucking leather jacket and one earring and with my Rogan and Minoxidil in the inside pocket. The maintenance for that is too much. Three times a day you know we have we

we've i've done a lot of things recently to try and fix what i find to be my own inefficiencies or deficiencies and one i did that was crazy and i ended up stopping because it was so insane was i got like one of those instagram ads for like a beard thing and you can see it didn't work um and it was like it was like you had like a cream you'd rub in every morning but then like three times a week you had like needle point that you'd roll onto your face and it was it was these these little oh like a roller that had spikes yeah yeah yeah also to generate like more hair foll or something? And then you rub the beard lotion into the holes. And I'd have to get out of the shower, get dressed, fucking do my beard shit,

and then just sit on my couch in silence for 20 minutes until I stop bleeding before I come to work. I was like, I think I'm done with this. I don't think it's working too much, and I'm sick of waiting to stop bleeding before I can leave the apartment. Yeah, it's on your collar. But I think that's a big difference between men and women, right? Like, women will go through that. Be diligent. Like, guys were like, two days at most.

And we're like, fuck, what's going on? Well, that's why they're hot and we're ugly. We're phase one chicks. So we had, back in the day, we had metrosexuals, and those were men who didn't like to wear wrinkled clothes. Right. And we made a joke about calling them gay. These dudes are gay.

And then we've kind of progressed now to, like, we'll use beauty products. We'll probably give up on them. And then I think the next generation, they're like, no, we're full on beauty. We're full on makeup. There's a reason why, you know, they call them the fairer sex, and everyone says, like, the female body is so beautiful.

And it's like, yeah, because they're trying. Yeah. Putting on lotion. I recently started putting on lotion. It's a game changer. White people finding out lotion. It's a big revelation. Yeah, you guys are late with the game with lotion.

It's a big revelation for us. Yeah. I'm like, oh my God, I feel like a fucking like snake. What can I possibly do? Crazy. Have you seen the, it's mostly like asian people i see on instagram with the fake hair like it's like a it's like a hoodie it's it's like a toupee but i don't really know exactly how toupees work but i always kind of just imagine you put them on this was like this dude kind of

had like last little scraggly hair they shaved it off so that he had like the costanza and then they put like this glue they glue it like here. And then they like hold it over the top. And it looked real as fuck. I definitely see one of the type, one of the, at least one of those videos. I don't know if it was the Asian guy or what it was, but the,

the, the, the, the bald is being cured that easy is a game changer now. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of like, I wonder how long that lasts.

I have a friend. I won't say his name. He is a comic. And he's bald. And we were talking about... The same thing you were talking about for your beard, he wants to do on his head. So it's like a tattoo.

So I guess it's not the same. It's like a tattoo. A tattoo? Yes. So like, you know how you have like a five o'clock shadow? So he had to constance it. But it was low. So he had like, you know, like stubble on this side, but nothing on top. Completely bald on top. So you had the Constanza but it was low. So he had like, you know, like stubble on this side but nothing

on top. Completely bald on top. So you tattoo the top so it's all consistent. No shit. But if someone touches your head, it's smooth. Yeah, yeah. So it's like weird. And he was contemplating doing it. He said, would you do it? I was like, nah, man. Never worried about it that much. I did Rogaine for like six hours and I moved on with my life.

But you look good. You can shave your head and be bald. Yeah, I feel good with it. Yeah, I got a good, you know. There's a difference between like shaving your head and like having that be your look versus like I'm holding on

for dear life because I got a couple scraggles on, you know. And this particular person, he has a good shaped head but he's insecure. He was insecure about it. He went ahead

a couple of months later and got it done and it looks fine but when I saw him, we both made eye contact. I looked at it, looked at his nose, looked at his eyes, looked at it again, and I didn't say anything. That's a comic. I should have said something. That's the elephant in the room. To this day, I can't look at him

in the eyes now. Right to the hair. Well, our boss here forever had this bald spot that was just getting worse and worse by the day, week, month, year. The kind of boss that would make you irate? Yeah. It looked like a yarmulke. It was like he was growing a yarmulke. I mean, they would film him. There was a guy who caught him walking to work from his office building or his apartment,

and he zoomed in on him on the street, and it just looked like he had a white yarmulke on his head. It was just a bald spot. Then he got rich, and he fucking got hair plugs. And you're saying as a comic, it was just bald spot then he got rich and he fucking got hair plugs and and like you kind of you're saying as a comic it was like it was unfair for us it was like well now we don't have our yeah fucking thing anymore you know we're busting each other's balls and now he doesn't have a bald spot anymore i was like well this is fucking cheating man yeah how does it look unbelievable i mean he got like top-notch doctor you know did it in exchange for some publicity

and shit i think i think it was some of the things you take some from the front or somewhere else in your body. So it was like, it's not like fake hair. It's like your hair implanted, whatever the fuck it was. It worked. Like, this is some bullshit, man. I mean, I don't know where it stops, man. There's dudes who are even getting muscle implants. Yeah.

Have you heard about that shit? I think that's very popular with like Latino culture like there's some guys who I know from Dominican Republic and they'll get like a six pack thrown in 21 years old but they still got

the love handles yeah if you're gonna do that you gotta do everything yeah cause you can't just be like like what is this stuff like calf implants I've heard of calf implants

that's the I didn't know people were doing full abs yeah they'll do like the chest so now it's like oh help me with this couch they have the muscles but they can't fucking help lift the couch that's a problem too man so I don't think people were doing full abs. Yeah, they'll do like the chest. So now it's like, oh, help me with this couch. They have the muscles, but they can't fucking help lift the couch.

That's a problem too, man. So I don't think there are other stops. I'm waiting for this. And I'm saying this right now on air. I think for people to look tougher, they're going to get like cauliflower ears. Yeah. Not no MMA. Bang them in.

Just fill it in for me. Yeah. Yo, I always say if I see a cauliflower cauliflower ear like not that i'm a tough guy to begin with but i am not fucking with you man yeah those motherfuckers but they're peaceful a lot of time they're like zenned out yeah you know they always got a big ass vein up their calf muscle it's like yeah i'll leave that guy alone his name is like you know it's some bazillion they all got like the same name. It's like something silver. What would be a muscle you would get added?

I'll probably get butt implants. Yeah. Pop that ass. Pop that ass. Ass works, bro. Ass plays on both sexes, man. Dude, I got no ass. Ass is king. No, my whole back is just flat.

It goes back to thighs. Yeah, it's nothing. We're just like all whole there for shit. Which doesn't make sense because i fucking like i exercise and i do squats not not like heavy that's how you know though when girls are like i'm gonna do squats and get an ass no you're not no you're not you either got an ass or you don't you might work you know might tone it or round it or shape it but like you either got an ass or you do not it's like fucking i do squats like fucking prison squats yeah but they

just go straight down and up. Check the phone. Put a chair on my shoulder for a second. I noticed you said you as a comic you regret not saying anything after looking at that guy's hair. Are we just going to

keep letting me wear this hat without you saying something about it? I like the hat. You like this hat? I look ridiculous in this hat. Well, it's a big hat. It's a huge hat. It's my construction helmet.

I feel like, you want some coffee? I feel like you're going to hit this and be like, what's this, mahogany? I feel like the conversation is going to go there. It's big, but I have a close affinity to the Mets

because I was a Mets fan. Yeah. And I'm talking about back in the day. Well, this hat, you can pull off. You can wear this hat. I can't wear this hat. Why not? Because I'm white.

I'm a dad. You look very, you know, there's something warm that's attached to it. First of all Because I'm white. I'm a dad. You look very, you know, there's something warm that's attached to it. First of all, I'm a Mets fan. Okay. And secondly, you kind of look like Jim Brewer with it. Because Jim Brewer is a big Mets fan. He wears a Mets hat.

So I'm trying that all out. It's all giving me good feelings. So I'm a big Mets fan too. My birthday just passed and my son, who's four, picked this out for me. So now I wear it half as a joke, half for fucking fun, half for him to be like, oh, I liked your gift. But I mean,

it's fucking, it's ridiculous. Not only is it huge, but I mean, these are, this is not, these are not white guy hats. Come on.

Yeah, that's a black man's hat. For sure. And a black man's tattoo. You know how many black guys I've seen with the Statue of Liberty fucking tattooed on their phone? That would be a good array of tats for a New Yorker.

I fucking took the sticker off like an idiot. I have that new era sticker. I should have left it on. And then you rip it off like five years later and it's the only clean spot. Yep, yep, yep. I've been getting looks. Yeah? I'm like walking.

You know what's funny? I don't know if I'm getting looks or if I'm like either making them up in my head or maybe I've always been getting looks and I'm just seeing them now but I see guys kind of like give a little look or like look at the hat and kind of be like what the fuck is this about cause like nothing else in my outfit or anything else says this you know

and I kind of forget that it's on I'm like what for some reason when you said that I thought like girls? I thought like ladies were like oh I don't think that's it. I didn't realize you were a big Buckshalter guy.

Are you still a Mets fan now? You said were. Yeah, I was because as a kid, I followed them. So, you know, I'm an old head. So, you know,

I was five years old when they won the World Series. So I wanted to be Dollar Strawberry. I wanted to be Jesse Orozco, Tim Tuffle, Mackie Sasser,

you know, Greg Jeffries. That was it it and then as it went on you know i kind of faded out it's understandable yeah i'm still hanging on hopefully we're back at it soon but uh yeah it's been it has not been a great run yeah you're a boxer right yeah i did some amateur boxing i'm also still a trainer you know so that's my main sport i was gonna say is going to say, watch and bet and all that kind of shit. Yeah, I don't bet. I don't bet, but I do enjoy it. But I have an enormous amount of... Because with that question comes with... What do you think about MMA?

And I like MMA. I have a huge amount of respect for it. But boxing is the main thing I was brought up on and I still enjoy. So you're the first person I've really talked to who knows boxing since the celebrity boxing shit has taken off. What do you think about that? Have you watched the first person I've really talked to who knows boxing since the celebrity boxing shit has taken off. What do you think about that? Have you watched the Jake Paul fights and shit like that?

Yeah, and I don't mind them at all. Yeah, he absolutely can fight. He's a real fighter, right? Yeah. You know, a natural. He's doing it on his terms because he has the financial backing and the publicity. So I think he's doing it right and accordingly. There's drama attached to it.

He's fighting guys who somewhat got a background, not the first couple of guys, but he's slowly moving up the ranks. He's so smart about who he picks. It's like people with a name and a little bit of skill, but he can still probably beat them. So if he were to go to a fucking local gym here and just pick out a guy,

not like another professional superstar, but just a guy who is like hungry in the gym who fights when he gets his ass beat. I think he can absolutely hold his own. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think he can absolutely. Because that's what I still couldn't tell.

And I don't know anything enough about the sport, but I was wondering if like you just pick some fucking, you know, some Puerto Rican guy off the street who just trains every day. Yeah. I mean, you just don't know my styles, make fights up.

That guy might just, you know, just know how to fights that guy might just you know just know how to you know evade that right hand because he has a good right hand right you know

I mean that shit lands and it's like a a Volkswagen that shit can move a Volkswagen Beetle that's a hard right hand he knocked out Woodley

the Woodley knockout was like yeah I mean how Woodley didn't see that shit coming yeah because I felt like it was like

you know well that's again when I feel like I wonder if people would because it is like i'm gonna punch you now yeah but he just set it up with a jab to the body which is smart you know you get to the body kind of lower the hand then he came around bang and so that's technique are you still fighting like uh no i trained i'll get some sparring in every now and then you gotta be crazy just still fighting yeah i mean especially if you got you know you're a comedian, you got another trade.

Yeah. I'll try to get my head mashed in. Also, yeah. I mean, after a certain age, man, you just slow down. And there's only a few that could do it. Remember on the pro level, remember Bernard Hopkins? He was like 52 years old. But you can age from one day to the next in boxing.

And his last fight, he fought some kid from Long Island who wore a helmet like you. He was like an iron worker. Pro boxer. And Bernard just aged that day. He was moving around the ring like, and his legs got it. And then he gets knocked out,

falls on his head. Like, you know, directly on his head. So, you know, we talked about that shit earlier. You fuck around, you lay around, you got to be careful. You know, you're trying to get that one last one head. So, you know, we talked about that shit earlier. You fuck around, you lay around, like you got to be careful.

You know, like you're trying to like get that one last one in. As always, people would say you don't play boxing, right? Like it's not a game. It's like you're asking

for one more round and like, you know, you do one more round with a drink, it's easy. You know, maybe you order an extra pizza that night.

You do one more round of boxing. We see it time and time again. You can't talk anymore. Exactly. So with celebrity boxing, I'm all for it. I'm not, you know, I think it's a waste of energy to get all bent out of shape about it. People get so uptight, man. They get so uptight.

You know, listen, it's generating attention towards the sport. That's what I was dying to. Boxing needs attention. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, it's rejuvenating the sport. You got to understand, Jake Paul, his handlers are all people in the pro game. And the undercard is all pro boxing. You know, he even went on to start managing a Puerto Rican boxer by Serrano, this female boxer.

And she's great. Who's like the purest of boxers, right? She's been boxing for like 25 years. So he's doing a lot of interesting things. I'm thinking like, yeah, he's bringing attention to the sport. The card is high. So I think it's good. Even on a lower level

where you just get like a TikToker, let them fight each other. Fuck it. You know, it might be the seed that's planted that gets someone

interested in the sport. You know, the same thing with stand-up. I don't get bent out and say people are, oh, you know, so-and-so

who had a YouTube page is doing stand-up. So fucking what? Yeah, that bothers me too. I was just talking yesterday with Derek Gaines about it and we were talking about

because T.I. is doing stand-up now and I guess some people in the stand-up circles are mad that like he's already getting time and stage time and selling out, you know,

and all this shit and they're like, he didn't grind and pay his dues. It's like, well, he paid his dues in music. He just did it somewhere else. He put his ass in the seats.

That's all he did. Right, and that's really all that matters. And it's not that he didn't, it's like well he paid his dues in music yeah he just did it somewhere else he put his ass in the seats that's right and that's really all that matters and it's not that he didn't it's like he worked hard when he was doing shows in front of rap shows in front of 10 people and grinding to pay for studio time and that's what you know he grinded over here you grinded over here you're both fucking you know what i mean it's like as long as you can sell the tickets that's all that matters and if he's not funny by the way he'll just it won't work yeah so that's the other thing it's sink or swim it's not like he gets on and he just gets all the money it's like now he's got to prove it and if he doesn't the game will even itself out that's that's absolutely right and the thing is so people and this besides other podcasts like people are drawn to the oh ti is doing this but

that's only gonna last so long you're funny my bugger then you'll stay in in the in the war you know you'll stay and the same thing with the undercards like if i if i show up for ti this is i i can't tell you how many times i've gone to a comedy show for the the main act and i walk away being like the under the uh the opener was funnier than him and now i'm a fan of him and now i go to their shows exactly good for the fuck you know it's a good example of someone who actually made that work and and he did it right steve-o right from jackass you know who's a good example of someone who actually made that work and he did it right Steve-O right from Jackass you know

comics like him yeah so but he did it right and I'm not sure if it was his handlers who came up with this idea but what he would do is he'll headline

Caroline's he was showcased as headlining Caroline but he wasn't headlining he would host that shit so he would staple his nut to the side of his leg fucking shoot fire

out his ass but then he will have dogs like big jay oakerson yeah doing a 15 minute spot you know uh you know guys are that that caliber yeah that caliber and that's a smart way to do it so right in between his shit which is shit that people came to see right you know then you get stand-ups right that's a great show that's a great show. That's a great show. That's a great show. Well, that's what his, he was on the show during the pandemic, I think.

And he was promoting a new special of his where it was basically, I didn't expect it to be that. I thought it was going to be strictly stand-up. And it was. There was a lot of that.

A lot of the staple and the nuts. You can't even talk about it. Pontius like swallows his cum or something. Oh, that one. Yeah. Because the stapler, if you just use the sack, I think that's doable.

Yeah. I would do that. I definitely pinched the skin before. Yeah, yeah. There's not much there. I did that just the past time. I'm doing it right now and it's just nothing. I don't feel nothing.

There's nothing. Come on. You can't think about little skins? Oh, no. That one. Oh, it's the the cum swallowing it's the drinking of the cum but what he does is what he does is i gargle it i didn't already hit that that's why dude he comes in a condom and then pontius fucking swallows it oh jesus shits it out and then swallows it again oh god yeah that i don't need that i don't need that you know what's? That's a hard way to make a living. I'm just thinking, I was about to say,

I just need to watch you drink the cum. That's fine. That's okay, but none of this shit, I don't know about that, man. So are you on tour with Chrissy D and stuff? I feel like you guys are a lot, or are you just when you're in New York or whatever? Yeah, so me and Chrissy D go back years now,

and when I first started working with him, he said, come on the road with me. And he was half filling seats. Then he did some podcasts. I started generating a real grassroots following. This is a guy who did a little bit of the mainstream stuff, a lot of the mainstream stuff. But you know where the following became hardcore? It's like the podcast. And now the seats starts to fill up.

And we just started a theater tour called Chaos or Chrissy Theaters. And that shit's been fun. Dude, theater tours? No. Yeah. I saw you guys at Foxwoods. And I actually meant to ask you this

when we were talking about boxing. You were talking about training. And you train mostly... Yeah, Kelsey's and Megan's. Okay. I want to make sure I was remembering correctly. Yeah, you got it. Kelsey's and Megan's. Okay. Yeah. I want to make sure I was remembering. Yeah. You got it.

Well done. That is it. They're all young white women who are professionals when nothing but Lulu. They show up on time. They pay well. They want to work. And yeah, that's my clientele. But so like, so how's that work?

Like, are you like lying to them? Like, hey, a great punch. Like, do you gas them up? No, I give them shit. Listen, you got to understand. So I'm not training fighters per se. It's fitness motivated, right? So they'll learn the combination for sure.

But you know, I'm going to give them some shit when they throw a punch and their chin is sticking out. They're like a gopher popping out of a hole. You know? You're going to get knocked out, Megan. Yeah, yeah. Protect your chin, Kelsey. Exactly. That's fucking great, man.

Exactly. Do you know Eric Kelly? Absolutely. Yeah, he's like tangentially kind of been in our world every now and then, and he's always trying to be like, come down and I'll train you. I'll whip you into shape. I'm like, dude, I am so far. I'm so out of shape so far from what you're talking about

i couldn't even last a second are you interested in boxing i i i mean i i would you know yes i would i i actually i wish i grew up more around fuck all that just do it that kind of shit but i mean i'm just i've had a million surgeries and i i need to get into like a smidge of shape before i can even worry about it but and shit. You work accordingly. I do love when I feel like the people I know who have done stuff like that where they're like, alright, I'm going to boxing for training and they think

day one they're going to get in there and play like Rocky. The first thing is, alright, do 100 push-ups. Get into shape. That's what we're here to do. It's not a game. You're not playing Tom Cruise in the movies. It's fucking exercise, you know? Right.

You got to become conditioned to be consistent with the punches being thrown. Because if not, then your hands are down here. So, it's a lot of different strength and conditioning endurance drills you have to do over and over in order just to keep your hands up right here. Right, right, right. Because when you get tired, you should just go down, right? Exactly. So, it's really hard to do over and over in order just to keep your hands up right here. Right, right, right. Because when you get tired, you should just go down, right? Exactly. So that's the – it's really hard to do that. Like we see it on Instagram, the pad work and everything.

But to keep your hands up for three minutes, knees bent, chin down, and focused on what's going on. I don't think I can do that for three minutes. Just stand like this for three minutes. I'd be like, I'm tired. I can't do it anymore. I can't do it. I once went to Cuba just for vacation, and we went – the Cuban amateur team is like the best in the world.

And they won countless medals or whatever. So me and my friends decided to hire a trainer out there. And it was hilarious. The gym was closed. It was under renovations. And we're outside in a park. And he had us like this. Like this conventional Cuban stance for like an hour.

And it's like like smoking a cigarette. He want to fucking whistle at us. It was the most tedious shit. But, you know, it was like. That's how you learn, right? It's like karate kid shit, man. Exactly. And you've been boxing since you were young?

Yeah, it was like on and off. But, you know, I started my teens and then picked it back up in my early 20s. Yeah, it's funny. I was thinking, I was like, should I? Because my son, I mentioned before, is four. Should I get him into this shit or something? Fucking karate or one of those things. You know what I mean?

I kind of regret not being able to like being involved in that at all. And I'd be like, can I send my little like suburban fucking kid? Yeah, now you go to karate or now you go boxing or whatever. Absolutely. You see what they like. It might not be boxing. Well, the way he's fucking, you know, bruising me and jumping around the house and shit,

I might have to send him to like wrestling school. Turn him into a WWF star, that monster. I did karate at such a young age that I still didn't know my left and my right. And I had to like study. My mom was like, my mom had me sat down, she's like, this is left, this is right.

Never thought to teach me the LR thing. Although I guess I probably know my alphabet at the same time either. So, because you had to know when they're saying throw a left, throw a right. That's the way they let you in the class. So I went in for like a test and I, my mom couldn't come in with me.

It was in a basement, like on like pleasant street and fall river, like not a nice part. Yeah. And like, I'm like a little, little toe headed kid with like really long, curly blonde hair. And I go in Fall River, like not in a nice part. Yeah. And like, I'm like a little toe-headed kid with like really long, curly, blonde hair. And I go in and I didn't do well.

And I walk out and mom's like, how'd it go? I was like, let's go to the car. Back to T-Ball, man. This shit ain't working. I eventually got it, but I did not get it session one. There's adults, man, that I'm telling, move to your left, and they go to the right. I'm like, your other left. I don't know what the fuck it takes.

And FadoBug, I don't know why I picture you as a kid with a beard. I don't know why I picture you at four years old with a full-grown beard. Because you have a very young face, but I feel like the beard has always been there. So we're in the middle of this. You got a beard yourself. At the end of the month, one of us has to shave. We have a bet going on right now who can get more YouTube subscribers. And he obviously has more beard than me, but neither of us have razor blade shaved in a decade.

So we'll see how young that face is when I win this bet. We'll see what's underneath there. You know, you guys could probably both pull off a shaving beard, like, you know, fully. And be fine with it. You'll feel weird. But, you know, you got to probably both pull off a shaving beard, like, you know, fully and be fine with it. You'll feel weird. But, you know, you got to do that in amateur fighting. So when I compete, I will have to shave this shit off. Do you have a beard in fighting?

For whatever stupid reason. Weird. You could be on all sorts of fucking steroids that don't change your face, but no beard. That's crazy. Crazy. You have to shave. And then they do, you know, when you do it, it's like, sometimes you got to do it before the weigh-in.

So you shave the beard. And I have no reason. I have no idea why. Yeah. And, yeah. And you know what when you do it, it's like, sometimes you gotta do it before the weigh-in, so you shave the beard, and I have no reason, I have no idea why, and, yeah, and you know what I look like? You know, and it was in the middle of winter,

I look like, my skin was like yellow, I look like Homer Simpson. And I didn't even fight! I didn't even fight, they called off the fight. Yeah, I'm just like,

they called it off? Yeah, because the amateur boxing is dirtbag. Sometimes your opponent doesn't show, you know, it's always all this politics. I'm sure. Dude, like big time boxing is dirtbag. Sometimes your opponent doesn't show. There's always all this politics.

Dude, like big time boxing is dirtbag shit. They're all fucking grimy. It's super dirtbag shit. Well, that's your shit, right? Dirtbag shit is your... Yeah, I like that. That's a good brand and mantra to have. Dirtbag shit.

Because there's something... There's the bad dirtbags of the world, but then there's the honorable dirtbags of the world, but then there's like the honorable dirtbags of the world. Absolutely. Most dirtbags are the best. Yeah. Dirtbag is almost one that like, you call me a dirtbag,

I'm kind of like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Depends on how you say it. But it's like, yeah, I'm proud to be a dirtbag. How girls used to like talk to their friends like, she's such a fucking slut. Yeah, right. You gotta be my boy.

He's a fucking dirtbag. Yeah, exactly. You're a hustler. You're scheming. You're scamming. Everyone has a little a fucking dirtbag yeah exactly you know you're a hustler you're scheming you're scamming everyone has a little bit of dirtbag in them it could be something as simple as

you might use your MetroCard to get some fucking poppy seeds out of your teeth bro I do that all the time I do that all the time fucking clean your nails with your MetroCard I think it's savvy

it's $170 for that fucking card yo that's unbelievable that's exactly what i broke up cocaine with fucking metro car i don't bend it because that's $170 metro car you know be smart that's good it's like a little like are you garbage-esque but are you dirtbag there's a lot of shit in this city where there's some dirtbag vibes which by the way you know some dirtbag shit but bar stoolsstools is a platform for the people. I saw a homeless man

outside in front of here screaming at the cyclists and he had a Barstools sweater. Really? All that Barstools represent the voice of the voiceless. Man. And it was crispy.

There was no limb balls on it. Oh, they gave him a fresh one. I almost got pushed off the subway platform by a guy wearing a Barstool shirt, which would have been the ultimate way to go, man. That's a much better way to die than falling off a scooter with the helmet on and killing yourself. I was walking kind of against the grain, if you will, and I was being reckless. I was just on the yellow line.

Earbuds on? Yeah, but I had my head up, but I was on the yellow line, and i was being reckless i was just on the yellow line earbuds on yeah yeah but i had my head up but i was on the yellow line and i was walking and there was this dude coming the other way and at first i was kind of like i'm not moving this guy better move and then we got closer and i was like i'm gonna move this guy is fucking but when i looked down i saw his shirt i was kind of like oh he's probably gonna recognize me if he's like a barstool guy and then as we really got close i realized he was like muttering to himself and kind of crazy and shit. So at that point, we had got close enough and I did move.

But he was like, like started, you know, growling and shit at me. And I was like, this is it. I'm going to go right over the fucking edge. And the train was coming and everything. I was like, I'm going to die by a guy wearing my own fucking label. That was something that Dave wanted to do when we first moved to New York. To give all our clothes to homeless people so people knew

when they were in Barstool area territory. He compared it to medieval times where you would put heads on spikes and shit. So as people would approach the city, they'd be like okay, we're officially in King Henry's area or whatever. So he wanted it to be like as soon as people would approach the city they'd be like okay we're officially in you know king henry's area whatever so he wanted it to be like as soon as you get to you know right around

penn station or once you get out of chelsea you know you're in barstool land i was like yeah let's give all the derelicts of the city our fucking logo man that's a great idea that happened right so how about this i i had so i knew someone who worked at fucking Snowbird, I think it was, which is a ski mountain out in Utah. Okay. Right? And every year, you know, all the employees get, you know, like really nice, like Helly Hansen or North Face personalized gear where it's got the Snowbird engraved and stitched into it and all that shit.

And one year, fairly recently, and this is the story he told me, I never looked it up, that there was a homeless guy who murdered someone and then murdered an employee and stole their... Oh, no, no, he got... No, no, it was a homeless guy who got

it from Goodwill. Because they donate all their stuff to Goodwill because they get a new crop of uniforms next year. Got it from Goodwill, murdered they get a new crop of uniforms next year. Got it from Goodwill. Murdered someone in it. And in his perp walk. And was wearing snowbird gear on.

God, it's a nightmare. And so from now on, when they give this stuff to the homeless at the end of the year, they cut all it off first. Yeah. You don't even think about that. Yeah, you don't think about it. It's so funny. That reminds me of... I recently donated to Goodwill.

They had a truck set up by Tompkins Square Park. My wife can't hold a job. She's been a flight attendant for every fucking airline. And she works for like six months. She's like, I'm done with this. So she threw away

her flight attendant outfit. Now I'm walking down the street and I see a fucking homeless person digging in the garbage with a flight attendant outfit. I'm like, yo, Delta is struggling. Hope it hit them hard. Isn't that wild? That is crazy. You know, he's got a jackpot. This looks cute.

This is a smart little number right here. Got a little name tag too. Shit, man. So you and Chrissy, how'd you end up linking up? Just because Chris links up with any Puerto Rican, any Spanish person in the world? He just attracts them like a fucking orbit? He knows Puerto Rico. I might be good for the show.

You know, I might be good for the show. You know, I might be good for the show. You know, I get some balance to it, whatever. You know, we've always been friendly and cool. I have a feeling though,

he's a smart dude. You know, I'm a trainer obviously so I think he likes to take me on the road because I'll smack the cheese doodles on his ass. Every time we visit a city,

if the time allows, we'll visit a gym, you know, some grimy gym. So, you know, I keep my ass busy. Well,

Chrissy Bitch Hips is, you know, he's a, he's a, he's a, he is a wreck,'ll visit a gym, you know, some grimy gym. So, you know, I keep my, well, Chrissy, Chrissy bitch hips is, you know, he's, he's a, he's a, he is a wreck. He's a brick. You know what I mean?

Like, even if he's in good shape, he's got that thickness. Yeah. He got in good shape with like a size 42 waist. He got those salsa hips. Yeah,

it really is. I mean, he's just meant, he's like, he's, he's trans. I mean, he should transition to Puerto Rican.

Because everything about him is Puerto Rican. He's got a big head, too. He's got a big golden retriever head. And I'm not talking about a golden retriever you find at the pond. He's got a purebred golden retriever head. Once I looked at his profile, he had his fucking big head. It's his bucket, man.

It would fit this thing. He looks whack with hats. No, yeah. When you have a huge head, you can't do it. head is fucking big it's his bucket man it would fit this yeah and he looks whack with hats no yeah when you have a huge head you can't you can't you can't do it yeah we got a guy here who uh tommy lay is like a eight and a half head i think and it's like he puts a what he said he said he looks like a uh uh a beluga whale or something he said he said nothing above sea level should have the head as big as me. That's hilarious. Yeah.

Chris, he wears a hat. He's going to wear it on the last. If he's wearing one. Yeah, the last buckle. He'll make that hat look like one of those quarter hatches, the plastic hatches to get out the fucking. The ice cream. Yeah.

Oh, out of the fucking quarter machine. Yeah, the smaller one, the quarter machines. That's what he'll make that show look like. But we have a good time on the road. It's a good show. Usually, I'll open up with 20 to 30 minutes and he brings it home. We compliment each other

and it's all about him really. We was just at the Beacon and that was a lot of fun to be a part of. Once again, that's his thing but to be a part of that shit was super dope.

Yeah. If you're from New York and you get to do some of these iconic New York spots sold out. Dogs. I mean,

that is like next level shit. Yeah. It was real fucking dope. I felt a little bad for him because the day of man there was just so much going on he's passive

like in the sense where if I had a big show like that you think I would allow anyone in the green room there was fucking he had everybody yeah there was like fucking there was like pig shoulder

there was fucking you know someone celebrating their sweet 16 it was just all these different things going on and I was like Chris you need to focus celebrated Sweet 16. It was just all these different things going on. And I was like, Chris, you need to focus. That's Chrissy, though, man.

I mean, he's got the house. It is chaos, but he's got the house and the kids and the stepkids and this and that. Pimp and TT. I mean, he's got a whole world around him. It's like a cartoon, but it's real life. You know what I mean? Yeah. Pimp is an interesting dude.

For those that don't know, he does all the camera work for. Yeah i i was uh the first time i saw him i thought he was homeless he had homeless pimp is really the perfect word for it because it's like he had like a velcro pants in the middle of summer he was wearing not velcro i'm sorry yeah he wears he wore the corduroy pants to the gym the other day yeah i saw work it out in the corduroy that's crazy yeah but i mean i guess when you got a brand now he's got a style that he's got to keep up i mean if i ever catch home with him like wearing fucking you know like regular clothes i'm like what's this about i if i see you like at a funeral you better be wearing like corduroy with the fucking glasses and the jacket yeah and when you when you dress like that at first i was i was like in my head i was going

i couldn't like like quite figure it out. But now, I get it. I'm like, oh, this motherfucker dresses like that, but he wears it like he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans. You know what I'm saying? Well, you know what it is? So, he has more style. And like, when we were first all coming up at Barstool, we were all fucking, not dirt bags, but like, it was truly just like frat bro, you know, style, right?

And so, he would wear like a scarf and we'd be like you're dead what is this shit we called him madam feidelberg because one time he wore like a jacket dude the great the greatest one i got roasted at the office like like like blogs written about me like can you fucking believe this guy because i wore just a simply a waterproof jacket when it was raining. Dude, it was a black raincoat. It was a black. I say waterproof jacket because I say raincoat. People are like, oh, it must have been like a fucking Gordon's Fisherman. No, this is a black zip-up jacket.

Waterproof material. It was a raincoat. It was a raincoat, and it was just like as standard as it gets. And they're like, you wearing raincoats in the rain? I was like, who the fuck am I talking to? What world do I live in right now? Now, that was also, that was more the office, right? Because Dave, at that point, was dressing like it was, like, 90s grunge.

He had, like, big flannel shirts on and weird, like, baggy JNCOs and shit. But then, you know, everybody got a little bit more money. We come to New York. People started to get fashionable. All of a sudden, they're wearing everything he was wearing like two years later. You know what I mean? It's like everybody eventually kind of finds their way into these looks. But it's the people ahead of the curve who it's like, whoa, what is this?

That's a lie that you were just dressing appropriately. Totally normal. Like totally normal. Well, no, I mean, let's be fair. Sometimes you push the limit. I'm getting like kind of funky pants today I like it listen

look at the way I'm dressed you would always get a little funky I'm 42 years old I got a sawn pepper beard I got tie dye fucking job look at my sneakers

dogs I got silver and black sneakers I am most certainly going through a midlife crisis there's no doubt about it fucking Wu-Tang shirt from like 1993 I'm going through it well I got the sneaker it doubt about it. Fucking Wu-Tang shirt from like 1993.

I'm going through it. Well, I got the sneaker itch too. I don't have it as much anymore, but I got like a hundred pairs of sneakers at home and people were like, you're going through a midlife crisis.

And I was like, I'm not at my midlife yet, but I'm absolutely buying things that I couldn't get as a kid with the money I can now have, which is pretty much the definition of a midlife crisis.

So yes, I absolutely am. I am in crisis. I need a different name for it, but yes, that's what's happening. But yeah, I mean, that was always the funniest looking back on it. It was like, whatever feels good, right? It's all too short. That was the point though.

If I were to wear what you wear, you would make fun of me and I would look lame because you could see it on me that i'm not wearing it with confidence you know what i mean like you'll be looking at the person looking at yourself like i would yeah i would be like are these cool does this fit does this look good you know and you just know if someone's meant to rock that kind of stuff or not so it really is i don't know how it's it's not it's like an aura you almost put off when you know if someone's meant to dress that way or not because i could put on that same outfit and it would be like, yeah.

I think I've described it as it's not like you said funky is a good word to do it. It's just something like it's I think when you're trying to look different, it comes off to like, all right, they're trying to look different. Yeah. Whereas I've I don't like looking the same. And I think that's different. I don't know how it's different. I also think they do like literally looking the same. And I think that's different. I don't know how it's different. I also think it's a difference. They do literally mean the same thing,

but there's something different about going about it those two ways that make it easier. Well, you also, in the first time, you said trying, and the second time you said like to. There's a difference if it's just like, I like to wear this, versus like, I'm trying. Maybe I don't even like to wear this, but I'm going to try to because I want to stand out.

It's just how I like to dress, and if it is stylish or fashionable, whatever, so be it. Dan Voss, quarter of the gym, so what? You know a fashion statement? want to stand out or it's just how I like to dress and if it is stylish or fashionable whatever so be it you know a fashion statement got on my nerves the fanny pack across the chest everyone looked like they just did it because the other person was doing it you know what I mean it was like I mean i guess the fanny pack itself is very useful if you would rock it but the minute you're doing like louis over the chest and come on matching it to this and that it's like this i know there's nothing even in there you know if you're like a dad walking around with you got the pacifiers and shit fine whatever i don't know but

you that shit's empty and you're just wearing a fucking a purse around your chest it's a bit much that was one i was always happy because happy. I don't think I'm quick to do a trend. That was one just because of the people doing it. You don't like seatbelts. You're not going to like that shit. Yeah, I can't walk out with my fucking titties banging out like that. Can we do ATI?

Do we have room for that? Okay. Do you know Answer the Internet? It's a series we do where we just ask you ridiculous questions from a game show that we got. Yeah, let's do it. So we're going to bounce across the way to go to the studio, but where can people get Dirtbag Shit and all that stuff? Tell the people where to go.

At DBS Podcast or at Sergio Chacon, you'll find everything you need. Easy peasy, bro. SergioChacon.com. The website has all the dates. Three simple things. At DBS Podcast, at SergioCh peasy. Chacon.com. The website has all the dates. Three simple things at DBS podcast at Sergio Chacon. Sergio Chacon.com. Beautiful. Let's go.

All right. Thanks to Sergio Chacon. A guy. Awesome, dude. Very funny. Got open. Open up for Chris Stefano, who is today. His special.

Dropping a special. The special. She's out. Just I was about to say a couple of puerto rican guys but chris is not but uh but he basically is uh and so uh go go uh go follow that watch that and and if you're gonna go see chris live you'll see sergio opening up for him also follow along with him on instagram very funny cat uh now time for greg olson we're talking parenting kids sports competition and how to

navigate that whole life if you're a parent tune in if you're not 40 go fuck yourself the 60 can go do whatever the 40 this is for you all right um let's do it because is this is this the first time you've been on my show specifically i feel like like, wasn't I on your show, I mean, maybe years back? Way, way, way back, maybe, yeah. I feel like we have done something, but if not, it's been a while. And it's certainly, I think it's the first time me and you have ever chopped it up solo. So, I'm pumped to have you on. Everybody knows that you're one of the OG celebrity Barstool fans, if you will.

And now it sounds like you're kind of get into the content game yourself, huh? Yeah, man. And I'll tell you what you guys do is a lot of work. And I always knew that, but it's not easy, right? Finding a voice that has to be out there consistently to build an audience. And that's what we're trying to do. You know, we launched a show called You Think. We're two weeks into it, so we're very early in the process, but it's actually been a blast. And it's really a show that dives into the world of youth sports

and the good and the bad and the craziness. And I think when we bring it up to anyone, anyone with a kid, they immediately nod their head. They're like, I get it. Yeah. Whether your kid's doing five-year-old soccer or your kid's doing five-year-old you know soccer or your kid's doing 16 you travel girls you know softball it's it's a wild world that our kids are living in it's a very different world than any of us grew up playing sports in and that was kind of the inspiration behind doing it and uh you know we launched a we launched an audio platform called audio rama with uh with vince vaughn and ryan khalil a buddy of mine and two buddies of mine and um this is our first show and so it's been it's been a blast so far and Khalil, a buddy of mine and two buddies of mine. And this is our first show. And it's been a blast so far.

And we've had a lot of cool conversations. And just plugging away, man. Yeah, I hear that. You know that world. Yeah. I mean, when I first had kids, I started the show called Podfathers over here. Because I was like, as we were awaiting the baby, I was reading books and websites and all this shit that was like, buy a dude for the dude and like a real take on fatherhood. And then I would read like three pages.

And I was like, no, this is not. This is more of like the same old like mumbo jumbo from and maybe, you know, maybe there's merit to it. But I was looking for like a real guy. And it was another doctor or another author or somebody, you you know speaking in a way that i can't really get down with so i was like let's talk about it uh the way that normal people talk about it right and i think something like as my kids are now getting to this sports age i don't really know you know what to do because i'm like you know you see some of the bad side of it, but you know the good side of it. And I was thinking about, like, I don't have any resources or anything to turn to.

And then, like, literally, you know, this week I see that you're on our schedule doing this podcast, and it was like fell into my lap because it's something I would definitely tune into to hear about, like, you know, how do you handle competition and winning and losing and working out? You know, all the shit that goes along with it. Because there's a lot of stuff to figure out along the way for your kid and for you. Yeah, and the way I describe it is there's just a lot more decisions. When we were kids, you played for your local team.

You played in the backyard with your buddies. And then all you and your buddies in your hometown played for, the local rec team right the 10 kids who were good got selected to play some sort of travel all-star you played you know for the summer you played baseball like and you just went season to season and you pretty much played with the same kids you eventually went to school with and that was it like there's no decisions you just played like everyone else did nowadays it doesn't matter if it's five-year-old girls soccer or t-ball or flag football. There's 500 paths. Right, right. And every one of them has good and every one of them has some bad. And I think, you know, to your point, that was what we hope this show would be. Right. And I grew up in this world. My dad was the high school football coach. We grew up in the world of amateur athletics from the time I was five years old. And I'd find myself struggling with it. And I'd look around and be like, well, what's this guy doing? He has zero sports background. Well, how is he going to make the decision if I don't know it? Right. I'm like, well, we need to go out and we need to have these

conversations. Right. Like our first episode, we talked with Michael Gervais, who's like a world renowned sports psychologist. And we got really into it. And a lot of the struggles that I've had and, you know, how hard to push your kids, because it's the only way I know. But then you're like, well, it's not a great parenting technique. So like, and then, you know, we've had some really cool conversations with, you know, Cooper Manning, whose son is like the number one high school football player in the world. And he's the Manning, you know, the next generation of Mannings. And you hear them talk about balance and, you know, the next generation of Mannings and you hear them talk about balance and, you know, they never went to any camps and he just plays in the backyard, right? Like there's just so many ways to do it. And we've had so many cool conversations with so many people, both in the parenting and athlete role and psychologists. And as we go, we're going to

continue to dive deeper and deeper into it. So it's hopefully we can be that resource for you because I'm with you, man. It's when my kids started out on this, I heard everyone else tell me, oh, it's very different than when we grew up. And I was like, stop. I know sports. I've been around this game. How different are we going to be? And now I'm flying to Houston, Texas for 10-year-old youth baseball tournaments.

And we're in Florida. And I'm like, my kid wants to do it, so who am I to tell him not to? But then I also tell my kid, if you're going to do it, it brother like you're gonna do it the only way or you ain't playing right you know and then i'm the bad guy and people think i'm crazy sure i'm sure i mean and that's where i mean i struggle with that all that kind of sports school social life all of it because i'm i'm always like i'm kind of just like go with the flow make sure the kids are happy and safe and but it's like, but if you really want them to succeed at something, you're going to have to push them. And sometimes you got to be the bad guy or a little bit stern about it.

I can definitely see where the world of, I think that the phrase participation trophy kind of became this cliche crutch for people in arguments. But I can kind of see where where it came from because it's like you know i don't want my kid walking away crying about something or feeling like they were left out so can we throw them a ribbon or a fucking thing and make them happy but it's also like that's because in that moment i don't want to have to have a parenting moment where i got to sit them down and explain sometimes you lose and sometimes you stink and sometimes nobody gives a fuck about you uh so it's like but i can see where better than you yeah just the way it is

i'm six yeah i don't know what to tell you right right and and you know i what what fucks me up a lot is i think my kids now are uh six and four and uh my my boy is the four-year-old and so i my daughter's in gymnastics and dance and stuff so she's doing her own thing but i obviously relate more with my boy when it comes to this and i'm thinking like if if if uh if if his father was earl woods by now he'd be you know driving the ball 250 yards and you know doing a full 18 and i'm like you know throwing a like a fake basketball back and forth with him you know what i mean i'm like you know throwing a like a fake basketball back and forth with them you know what i mean i'm like i'm just thinking like am i doing enough or is is

is it too little or should i not even worry about this all of that shit because man there is just no nobody knows you know like and anybody who can give me any insight from an athlete to a psychologist to whatever i'll listen to all of it because yeah mean, I don't pretend to have the answers either. I mean, there is, there is an element of the environment you grow up into, right? The conversations we're having.

And as, as the story continues to unravel, as you just suggested, like there is an aspect of the environment you grow up in does have advantages for anyone to think that you're not born with a leg up based on who your parents are and the city you live in, the opportunities, the access to trainers, the access to teams, the school you go to, the neighborhood opportunities.

That's all real. The thing though that we're finding when we talk to all these successful athletes and the parents of these successful athletes and the psychologists and all the coaches, you can have all the opportunities you want. That's a huge factor. But if this is not a kid-led proposition, it doesn't matter who the dad is, who the mom is, how much access to the teams, how good the coaches are. If the kid doesn't really want to do it, and even if the kid's good at it, if the kid doesn't want to do it, it's never going to work. It's going to cause conflict.

The parents are going to want it more than the kid. They're going to be pushing the kid into something they're not really into. They're going to be on a team that, yes, they're physically capable of, but they're not really into it. So they're going to burn out. And it's just going to cause parental issues with kids and resentment. At the end of the day, the most common thread we've found from all these conversation is set expectations. What is the child's expectations? And then therefore the parents can set their own expectations. And if the kid drives the ship

and whether that's to wreck local town baseball, or that you want to chase the most competitive team in the country, whatever that expectation that the kid has and the parents support if the kid is in the front seat you're gonna be okay isn't it crazy how often you'll see just like asshole parents who are taking it too far who are being you know screaming and yelling on the sidelines or berating their kids or i mean it's wild how many because we see a lot of it at barstool You get video submissions of people filming at local little league and hockey and shit. And it's like, even if you're a crazy competitive parent and a sports fanatic and all that, how do you, you're in public, you're surrounded by your peers, and you still are like stooping to that.

I just don't even understand how that can happen. But it does a lot i mean very often you get caught up in it i mean you get caught up in him don't get me wrong i've jumped my kid's shit plenty yeah and most have you been a crazy dad on the sideline and no i've never like caused a scene like i've never gotten into like an altercation right because that's what i that kind of shit i've never gotten into like an out loud now don, don't get me wrong. Have I yelled at mostly my own kids? But I'm the coach. I'm not yelling from like the bleachers.

If I'm not coaching their team, when I'm sitting at my daughter's soccer game, I'm sitting in the chair. I'm clapping. I'm saying hustle. I'm saying, come on, keep playing. You're doing good. Come on, girls.

I'm not, Talbot, get back on defense. Score a goal're doing good come on girls i'm not talbot get back on defense score a goal yeah what are you doing i'm not right but if i'm coaching the team i'm coaching the entire team and my kids are going to get coached harder than anyone else's kids that's kind of part of being the dad yep and the coach and don't get me wrong have i jumped my kids shit during a game absolutely most of the time when i've jumped their shit it's because their attitude sucked right not just because they're not getting the job you dropped a fly ball yeah you dropped that pass you suck like no like the times that i jump my kids when i think back on the times that i've kind of jumped them hard and look back on i was like that was probably too much it's banging

your glove on the ground, taking your hat off, kicking the dirt, your other coaches talking to you and you turn your back and you walk away. I have no tolerance for that. Yeah, those are the times you should. And I'm in his face saying,

if you don't wipe that look off your face and you get up here and you cheer on your teammates, I don't care if you've struck out 10 times in a row. The attitude shit ain't going to fly here. And if it's not, I'm going to rip your ass and you're going to go in the parking lot and we're out of here.

To me, I have zero patience for that. Other parents, they don't like that I do that. So sometimes those parents go to some other teams or we move our separate ways. We have our differences. And I'm never going to apologize. I will never berate your kid because a ground ball goes between his legs. Ever. Right.

Well, you know what? I went back to my high school last year during the basketball season, and I was talking to all of the original coaches are not doing it anymore because they talked about parents and how much they input they have and complaints they have and their coaching style is really not allowed anymore. And it's like, you know, I get it. There's probably some things that should evolve

and maybe a couple things for our generation that were a little questionable for young children or whatever. But I also am like, you know, we got to remember that part of what we're doing here is discipline and putting others first and all this shit. So it is, you know, are you struggling to kind of, especially in the era of cell phones and videos and all that shit? Like, are you struggling to balance both of those things? Totally.

And I'm the first to admit it. Like my competitive, like what's hard for me to balance in the world of youth sports is what always was my object, you know, what was always kind of my fuel in my career, whether from high school, my dad was very hard on us. He was that old school, high school coach in your face, very direct, very truthful, very sometimes too much. So that's all I ever knew. Right. very truthful very sometimes too much so that's all i ever knew right but like i embraced that and that edge and that fight and that competitiveness and that nothing was ever good

enough and constantly challenging like that fueled me that that was that was my life that's all i knew and it served me very well well now like i need to do like i've done a lot of like self-reflecting okay like you got to turn a little bit of that off. Not all of it. Cause these kids still need to hear the truth and they still need to learn how to compete and they still need to learn, you know, you know, how to be a boy and how to be, you know, top and all that stuff. Girl, like I tell my daughter, like, you know, just, this doesn't just go for the boys. Like, right. You need to be tough too. But anyway, like there is a fine line. fine line, right? And when they're really young, it's a different approach. And then as they get older, like my older boy now is in fifth grade.

He's playing on competitive teams. The idea is to win. There's cuts. There's tryouts. And I say to him all the time, I said, listen, you lay in bed at night and you tell me you want to do this. I don't care if you play football. I don't care if you play baseball.

I don't care if you try out for the drama club. I don't care what you do, but if you tell me you want to do something, and in this case, you tell me you want to play sports. Great. I'm going to show you what that means. You might not like it, but if you say you want to play sports, this is how to compete, right? This is if you don't show up to try out and you don't put the practice in, you're going to get cut. And I'm not calling your coach. I'm not calling your middle school coach and your high school coach one day and bitching that my kid got cut. It wasn't fair. You need to keep more kids.

No, that's life. Right. So if you don't want to get cut, you better work your ass off. Right. Right. And if you don't, I'm going to tell you because I'd rather me tell you at home and you be upset when you're 10 than when you're 17

and you get cut from your high school baseball team. Right. Where do you draw the line on like, I don't, you know, I guess quitting in a way. Like if your kid said, all right, let me try out sports, joins a team, plays for a little while, says they don't like it.

I always struggle on like, I mean, I was talking about backyard soccer with my kid, like not even real sports. a team plays for a little while says they don't like it i always struggle on like i mean i was talking about backyard soccer with my kid like not even real sports and he didn't like it and i was like is this the is this the time where i say like no we have to go i'm gonna push you through it we went a couple times in a row where he really didn't enjoy it but i was pushing him through and eventually reached the point where i was like i think this just isn't for him and i'm just making him do some shit he doesn't like but you But that's always a struggle with me as well, when you allow them to pull the plug. Yeah, I think that's a great question, right?

And it goes back to our point about being kid-led. I think the best thing that we can do is early on we cast a wide net. You got to try everything. We have a rule in our house. You have to do something per season. And that doesn't have to be a sport right right it could be it could be you have to do an after-school club at school a couple years ago my son was on the chess team a couple like you have to do something club activity per season my one son does a sport a season my daughter does like a little dance a little

gymnastics and then does more like soccer in the spring, summer. So they're very different. My other son has some other things that hold them back with his heart condition and whatnot. So he can only gravitate towards certain sports. So a little different for each kid. But to answer your question, like cast a wide net, they're going to find the things that they gravitate to if you give them a lot of opportunities. If they only try two sports, maybe sport number five was what they love. So early on, play everything. We have one rule. You don't have

to continue to play it, but you have to finish the season. If you start it, you got to finish it. If you don't want to go back next year, that's another conversation that we'll have. We got a year to have that conversation. If you start the season, you're going to finish it. If you don't like

it, that's too bad. You're going to finish it. And then after the season's over, we can reassess and try lacrosse or we could try ballet or we could try whatever the case may be. I have no problems with that. I tell my kids, it's really, you know, in our house, just because everyone assumes my kids are going to play football and whatnot, like especially living here where I played, like there's obviously all those expectations.

I tell my boys all the time, like you never have to play a down on a football in your life. I don't need you to play. It doesn't do anything for me. I got my time playing ball. Like if you want to play basketball, you want to play baseball, you want to play soccer.

I don't care. Is that you being because you want to be a good father like that or genuinely you really do not care. I genuinely do not care. I have just as much fun playing baseball with my kids and basketball with my kids and soccer with my daughter. Now listen, do I love football? If they wanted to do, you mentioned the drama club.

If they wanted to do something non-sports related, you're just as happy. I really have no problems with that. Whether it was my son or my daughter, it I'm S I really am a firm believer. Like there's nothing better than watching your kids do something that they love. Now, if they do something they love that you love, that's really, that's great. I mean, let's not, let's not kid ourselves, but if it's what they love first, you learn to love it. So for example, I was not a big baseball kid.

I played locally growing up. I didn't play in high school. My baseball days end when I was in eighth grade, 14U summer travel ball, whatever that was. And that was it. Never played another inning of baseball in my life. My two boys have gotten into baseball, my older 10 year old boy plays like very competitive baseball. He's on a very good team.

We travel all throughout the country and it's real. Now it's full competitive cuts, tryouts every year, trying to get the team better. I mean, it's full blown true sports, right? I've learned to love baseball. I never true sports. I've learned to love baseball.

I never watched baseball. I never watched Major League Baseball. Me and my sons now will sit up, we'll watch games, we'll talk. Hey, remember that happened? That back pick happened in your game. I've learned to really love baseball because my kids love playing baseball. And it's become now a love that we both have. We go to games.

We have a minor league team here in Charlotte. We'll take the kids too. So I guess my point is like, if they loved football from day, my kids have never played a down of tackle football. Wow. They might. My older one definitely will.

I don't know if my nine year old will or not, but like, that's okay. You have any qualms about it physically? Do you have any thoughts on like when tackling and whatever should be allowed and all that? I know that's kind of a hot button issue going forward. Of course. It's a real issue.

And that's a real issue. The only rule we had, and this was probably a selfish rule of mine, but I'm the dad, so I get to be selfish every once in a while. My older son wasn't allowed to play tackle football until I retired. And that's not because I needed to control it and coach the team. I want to be around during the week and just go see what he's doing. If you bring your kid to a soccer practice or a baseball practice or a basketball practice and they get poor coaching, the next year you find a different team. But like, okay, maybe he didn't learn to dribble. Maybe he didn't learn a backdoor cut. That's fine he's not going to get hurt right he's not going to be

scarred to death right football you send your kid to the wrong football practice with the wrong asshole coaching and not only could they get hurt but he could lose the love and that his first experience was just getting his head smashed in every practice right because the coach was a dick i was not going for that that's that's an interesting thought that is a good point that his first experience was just getting his head smashed in every practice because the coach was a dick. I was not going for that. That's an interesting thought. That is a good point. There's so much more on the line in a sport like that. So much more.

You're not teaching tackling properly. You're being too aggressive. Whatever it is, you're sending home kids in a fucking stretcher. Soccer is like, well, whatever. I never thought about that. Yeah, so my daughter, she actually gets coached by a dad who does an amazing job with her soccer team. So it's like amazing.

I go there, I fold my chair on Saturday mornings, watch her play, clap, go for ice cream after the game. And the guy who coaches is a dad of one of the little girls in her school. He does a great job. Right. And it's great for me, but like, I'm not going to go.

But if he didn't teach her to use her left foot or he didn't teach her an offsides and he didn't teach her to use her left foot, or he didn't teach her an offside, and he didn't teach her space, next year she could go play for a different coach. Who cares? Yeah, you could teach her that on your own, whatever. She's going to run around with her friends and play soccer. If you drop your nine-year-old kid off at a football practice and it's not done right, there's consequences. And that was my one rule. And when I was playing, I wasn't going to be at anything.

I wasn't going to be at practice. I wasn't going to be at games. I was going to have no idea what these guys were doing with the kids. And I just, I was not willing to turn my kids over to the world of football until I was confident that I could be around to at least observe, maybe help out, maybe be a part of it, teach them the right way. But at a bare minimum, be there keeping an eye on what was happening. That was my only rule when it came to football.

Well, and that makes the most sense being able to, you know, you've done both sides of it now, like professional and childhood, obviously. Let me ask you this. When you, because most of us all have like our favorite childhood memories of youth sports, right? I mean, I'm 37 now. I can still tell you, you know, the exact moments, what was going on in our Little League championship

and the good moments and the bad moments. Now, you have professional glory as well, right? What do you think of, like, do you still have Little League or I guess, you know, Pop Warner moments that, like, stick in your mind as much as your professional moments? But you'd be shocked. Like, if I made a list of my top 10 sports moments in my life, 50% of them would be high school or young. Isn't that funny? Yep. Yep.

There's something so natural and something so organic about just playing with your buddies. I went to a public high school. So the kids I went to school with, I went to school with since I was in second grade. We played Pop Warner together. We played baseball in the summers together. Then we played basketball. And some kids would come and go and played some sports and not the other. But for the most part, like your core group was your core group for 10 years. Like there's just something so special about that.

And, you know, I can remember walking off the field my senior year, winning the state championship. First one my dad had ever won as the coach and walking off the field. I had that picture hanging up in my office next to me holding the NFC championship trophy. Right. Like to me, like they're the same. Right. You know, like, you know, I remember, you know, going with your buddies, like the first time your basketball coach took you on like an away trip. We'd go down to like Philadelphia, say three are in the back of a van your coach would

drive it and you'd go stay in a hotel and at night you'd run around the hotel and in the morning you play a couple games and go out to dinner with your buddies like yes yeah we all remember those days we're 10 12 like that's the best right that's when sports it's at its finest and i could i could close my eyes and put myself back in those moments in a second i maintain that like the best period of life is like right before you start like trying to sneak booze and chase chicks and life gets complicated when it's just like riding bikes playing whatever sports you love like you know hanging out in a fucking tree house and swimming in the pool. And that is the best. It's so true.

It's like my kids now, my twins are in third, so they're still pretty young. But my fifth grader, my fifth grade boy, it's too early. There's no girlfriends. There's no drama with girls. And your buddy likes the same. There's none of that. You're not doing anything bad. Bad is you didn't bring in your homework.

There's no bad behavior. And like all they want to do is throw the ball in the backyard, go play with their buddies, go on Fortnite, show me a TikTok video. Dad, let's go hit at the batting cage. I can't believe my team lost. I can't like that's their life. Yep. Yep.

And it's amazing, right? And I tell them, I'm like, boys, like guys, shit's going to get harder. So it's amazing right and i tell them i'm like boys like guys shit's gonna get harder so it's gonna get so ugly man cherish this now dude that's like billy madison i'm like stay here it's so true it's so true and how's the content game going for you i mean um i feel like you're working with mikey fowler now right he was a guy over here and like so you're diving into the idea of you know it's almost like another another career another sport where it's like you got to build a franchise if you will you're building a network and and all that it's it's no joke man it's not it's not uh it's not it's not as easy as it might seem to some people it's not and you know and there is a little bit of a competitive

nature to it right where you're competing for viewers or you're competing for eyeballs you're competing for you know where you are on the podcast charts you know i remember that the first day it came out and you know you'd keep checking back on the itunes charts and where you are and you're like all right we're at 18 yeah like there's seven barstool pods ahead of us like how do we get the top 10 yeah yeah and then you hey you're at like 60 and you're like shit what are we doing right like yeah so that's exhausting but also kind of like invigorating, you know, and, and kind of, uh, and exciting. So, yeah, I mean, we're growing from, from start.

We feel like this concept can resonate with a lot of people. I mean, this conversation you and I've had is a conversation that's happening all over the country, right? Dad to dad, mom to dad, you know, friends,. Navigating this world for your kids is hard. It's a weird world to grow up in. It's a very different world to grow up in. Every generation says that about the generation to follow. And it's our job as parents, I believe, to understand and realize what you don't know. First and foremost, realize what you don't know. And then it's our job to go out and find people who could maybe fill in some of those gaps so that we can apply it and make

better decisions for our kids and sharing these stories you know listening to cooper manning talk about you know throwing passes with payton their senior year in high school i can't even imagine a family like the mannings dude it's just it was it's so not normal tomorrow it's like and to have another one in in the in the pipeline is like, I can't even imagine. Yeah, I mean, his episode drops tomorrow. And one second he's talking about, he's like, in high school, I'm the wide receiver. I'm the senior and Peyton's the junior. And my dad wouldn't take us to the camps.

We just would go to the high school and play in the backyard. And Peyton would be yelling at us. He's like, it's the same guy you see now. He was a 17-year-old junior yelling at all the seniors because he didn't like our routes. He's like, now when my kid needs quarterback help, he's calling his two uncles and they're giving him advice.

He's playing high school basketball and he's coming off the bench to win a state championship. They're like a regular family, but they're operating in a different world and they're super down the earth. Then you talk to Shawn right? We talked to Sean Johnson and she's saying, she's like, I'm eight years old and I'm an elite professional athlete. I can't even imagine that world. That's crazy to me.

It's, you know, so just so many different perspectives and conversations. It's, it's been really eyeopening. It's caused me to do a lot of like self-check, like, yeah, all right, I gotta be better. You know, like, which is great. Like we're all on this journey of getting better, being better dads, being better parents, being better, you know, kids, whatever it is. And, uh, I realized my shortcomings and part of this journey is kind of a selfish one. I'm trying to look for these answers just as much as everybody else is hoping to get them as well. Self-awareness brother. It is the key, man. You gotta know what, you know.

I'd imagine switching gears, too. It's like, obviously, you're the top 0.001% of humans to ever play the game of football, right? And so, you know, it's something you know and know how to do, and then you switch over, and you got a lot of life left. You know, it's wild. I've always thought it's so crazy in professional sports when it's like, oh, my God, take this guy out back. He's done.

He's 32. You know, it's like... Just shoot him. take this guy out back. He's done. He's 32. Just shoot him. Yeah, and now you got maybe 60 years left on this planet to still do some shit. So I wonder, I don't know if you've had the time or ability to keep up with Barstool, but it's obviously a very different place than when you first, I mean, you were on board when?

I mean, I was on when you guys just had Boston. Yeah, like early 2000s, right? Oh, yeah, before Chicago, before Philadelphia. I mean, it was just you guys in Boston. Have you caught up with it recently? You can be honest if you need to. What do you think about the old days versus the new days? You know, the one thing I've always appreciated about Barstool,

and it's something that I've always appreciated about Barstool, and it's something that I've followed, as we just said, when it was really just like a website. It was just like a blog, and we'd check in for... You had your smoke shows, and you had your... Coming on those old rundowns, which seems like yesterday, but that was like

seven, eight years ago when I was on those rundowns with you guys. I mean, it's a long time ago now. Dave is in his basement. Dave is in the frigging basement of his house wherever the hell he was living. The one thing I've always respected about Barstool is you guys

never hid from what you were. The expectations were always clear. That didn't mean everyone needed to like it. It didn't mean that everybody's always agreed. Far from it. Not everything you guys have said, I've always agreed with necessarily, but the part I always respected was you guys were true to what you were. You were very clear about it. You didn't hide from it, but you were never afraid to evolve. You guys were never afraid to take a look at the big picture and say, all right, we need to pivot. We need to

adjust, right? Everyone got on you guys for taking the churning money and moving to New York and then the pen money and get, and like, but you guys were always ahead of the curve because you guys were willing to take chances and you guys were always willing to bet on yourselves. And that's the part that I think why you guys resonate with so many millions of people throughout the country is it doesn't mean every person agrees with every word any of you have always said. I think that's ridiculous, the amount of time you guys have been on air talking over the years. But I think people can always respect who you... You're true to what you believe, but you're also true to saying we're not always perfect and we're going to evolve and we're going to change. We're going to change our business model and our personalities. And we're going to go back and look at things we've said in the past in different contexts and say,

all right, maybe in today's world, we maybe took that too far. I've always respected that about all you guys, whatever it was, Dave and you and Big Cat and anybody. So that's why I've always been a fan. And I think what you guys do is unique. I think what you guys do is special. It's authentic. And it's not a mystery why millions of people around the country spend almost every day with someone at Barstool in some fashion. And honestly, I think that's exactly what I think you could probably apply directly to what you're doing. Because it is like the sports landscape, the parenting landscape, school landscape, all is going to change throughout the next 5 10

20 years so like you know things that you're saying or coaching methods or parenting methods or whatever are going to change and evolve and like as long as you know you think keeps keeps up with those times while still being true to themselves you'll probably end up being one of the biggest resources for people you know in this in this world so So yeah, welcome to the whole fucking content world, man. It's a whole new game. Oh, man. It is a whole new game. I appreciate it.

You guys have always been awesome to me. You have, you think, but is there more shows and social media? Tell the people where to get everything they need. Yeah, so Audio-Rama is the company that we formed with Brian and Vince. You talked about Mikey. He came over and joined us.

He's kind of running all of our podcasts, all of our content stuff. Um, he's been awesome. So you think it's our first show. We have a lot of different shows that we're kicking around stuff that Vince is working on and Ryan's working on. It's just like a Chicago thing.

Is that, is that where the connection? So I got to know, I got to know. Yeah. So I got to know Vince living in Chicago. Um, we became,

we became close friends back then and we've just always stayed in touch. And then him and Ryan actually live out in California, they're neighbors. So just through Ryan I feel pretty strongly about. And I kind of pitched them on this idea that became you think, and you know, 12, 14 months later, we like, you know, let's just do it ourselves, right?

Like let's own it. Let's control it. Let's manage it. We have the resources to piece it together and let's see if we can build not only a cool show, but let's see if we can build like something bigger and a larger scale. So we decided to take on that whole thing, which has been challenging but also super fun

to kind of start something from scratch. And you think it'll be the first show, and we're full steam ahead with that. And we'll have some other cool shows coming down the pipeline probably here in the next few months. Awesome, brother. Sounds really cool. And it's something that people like myself can definitely use

and will appreciate. So thanks for the time. And as always the past you know 20 years of support uh having guys like yourself and like athletes and celebrities and all that push us um has always been you know very valuable so i appreciate that uh you're welcome man you guys have always been great to me too so i appreciate you having me on and uh look forward to chatting soon hopefully you get something out of uh you think hopefully it's a resource that you find and uh absolutely if it's not there's Me too. So I appreciate you having me on and look forward to chatting soon. Hopefully you get something out of YouThink. Hopefully it's a resource that you find. And if it's not, if there's something you're looking for, we encourage all of our listeners

and hey, send it to us. If we don't know it, we'll go find it. And that's part of the journey that we're on. Love it, brother. I'll catch you next time. Appreciate you, dude. Have a good one. Yeah, man.

Appreciate you. សូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប� Thank you. Bye.